#go kill it queens. go make history!

[pieflavorpie]

To all my online shit stirrers out there:

Top tip. Want to make them quake? Not know how to respond back? Make them look like a complete buffoon?

Quote sources! I started doing this around 2 weeks ago. Before, responding to [blatantly false] facts would always end up in a virtual spitting match. Since Quoting Sources, I have had a 0% response rate!

A response denying that uterine transplants of trans women have no use? Source!

A response saying that a flying coaster is dangerous because "all it takes is one thing to brake and you're having a belly flop no one wants."? Well that's absurd. Why? No source!

This is only a small peek at what Quoting Sources can do for you! It shuts them up like magic!

Also see: asking people for THEIR sources! See a person stating a person died because a 'ride was so intense'? Ask them their source! It causes an awkward virtual silence you can truly revel in. Sometimes these facts are true, but it's good to see where these people get their facts so you can practice critical thinking either way!

[Quoting/Citing sources is good practise for topics with a lot of misinformation and feelings targeted at it which can cover topics from rollercoaster safety, to transgender biology, to the Palestinian genocide. It's always morally right to be thoroughly educated by trustworthy sources - No, the news typically isn't a trustworthy source. I recommend looking at papers/blueprints/Wikipedia (as they usually cite their sources).]

[[Don't forget to always cite your source as you quote it. It has a much better impact and also Plagiarism Isn't Cool.]]

Also see: Why exactly you would be more informed on the subject than the person you are arguing with. Why should they trust you?

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

being on this website right now is just like im being so brave by blacklisting the tags for a new movie thats very popular right now and not responding to any of the gifsets i still see of it with what is rightful criticism of it for being tone-deaf

[luv-lock]

Omfg just read your mark x alien girl reader and I’m obsessed and I’m in love😩😩my question is tho how would alien reader react if she ever found out eve was trying to get with mark? Would mark go out with eve just to save face n show ppl he’s not in love with some crazy alien chick? Would reader lose her mind? I need answersssss 🙇🏾‍♀️

No, she wouldn’t lose her mind. That implies she has something fragile to break in the first place. She isn’t human. She doesn’t love. She doesn’t grieve. She doesn’t even understand the concept of monogamy, jealousy, or emotional attachment in the way humans do. Mark is hers, yes—but not in the sense that she would weep if he strayed. He belongs to her in the same way a favorite meal belongs to a starving beast.

And let’s get something straight—she isn’t some cute, misunderstood alien girl fumbling through human emotions. She isn’t an affectionate, starry-eyed creature desperate for his love. And it’s not like she’s some naive virgin who’s fallen in love with Mark. She’s a dictator. A war criminal. A predator that has seen entire species rise and fall beneath her rule.

She is old. Really, really old. billions of years old. having evolved long before humanity even crawled out of the primordial soup. The Qu described as a nomadic, galaxy-spanning civilization with a godlike mastery of genetic engineering and nanotechnology. Maybe she's the last of her kind. Or maybe she simply left them behind, the way one discards a broken tool. Either way, it doesn’t matter. The universe has long whispered myths of the Qu, painting them as monsters in the dark, as something that should not be. But she doesn’t care about history or legacies. She doesn’t even care about the fear she inspires. She only cares about what pleases her in the moment.

And right now, that’s Mark.

No one knows where the Qu came from. No homeworld. No records. No evolutionary path that makes sense. Some say they are older than the galaxies themselves, remnants of something much worse, something forgotten. Others say they are proof that gods are real—and that they are cruel.

They do not build. They do not create. They do not leave ruins behind. The Qu are nomadic by nature, descending upon civilizations like parasites, taking what they want, and leaving only silence in their wake. They don't have a culture, history or moral. They don't care about fame, power, respect or fear. Think of them as cosmic gardeners, except their idea of gardening involves reshaping entire species into grotesque forms for their own purposes. They also have an aquatic larval stage in their life cycle, hinting at origins on a watery world, though their home planet (possibly called "Puwan-2" in ancient records) is a mystery.

Their society is a nightmare. A hive structure ruled by a single female, the queen, who is infinitely more powerful than the mindless, disposable males that serve her. Male Qu exist only to fight, kill, and die in her name. They are born knowing their place, existing only to be used, discarded, and eventually devoured. A queen will birth hundreds at a time, a swarm of violent, hungry creatures that live only to serve her. And when they are no longer useful? She eats them. Their bodies nourish her, strengthen her, sustain her.

They are obligate carnivores, meaning that while they can eat other things, only meat actually satisfies their hunger. And not just any meat—Qu queens eat their own males. Cannibalism is a normal part of their lifecycle.

The Qu’s defining trait is their obsession with remaking the universe according to their own inscrutable dogma. They travel from galaxy to galaxy, finding intelligent species and altering them—sometimes stripping away sapience, sometimes twisting them into bizarre, nightmarish forms. They don’t just conquer; they remake. When they encounter another species, they see a rival species daring to be more than animals and being intelligence and powerful—something the Qu consider their divine right. So, they get pissed.

The Qu invade the Star People’s galactic empire, which spans an entire arm of the Milky Way. The Star People are no slouches—they’ve got weapons that can blow up stars—but the Qu’s tech is on another level. They crush them in less than a thousand years, colonize every habitable world, and start experimenting. They transform Star People into countless new forms: some become mindless worms, others living tools, and a few are turned into tortured, sentient monstrosities as punishment for resistance. The Qu rule the galaxy for 40 million years, leaving behind massive, featureless pyramids (their weird architecture of choice) before eventually moving on to mess with other parts of the universe.

A queen is immortal. Or close to it. Time does not wither her. Age does not dull her. The only thing that can truly kill her is another queen, a clone of herself—a perfect copy birthed through self-fertilization, as some Earth reptiles do. But this is rare. Queens are narcissists. They see themselves as gods, as divine, as the peak of evolution. Creating another like themselves is… distasteful. And so they rarely do.

The result? A species with no future. A species destined to burn itself out. And maybe that’s what happened. Maybe that’s why she’s the last one. Or maybe… she simply got bored and left the others behind. Who knows?

The Qu’s motivations are tied to their ideology, which people describes as a kind of religious zeal. They believe they’re the rightful masters of the universe, tasked with remaking it in their image. This dogma started as a way to control their own power (possibly to avoid self-destruction), but over eons, it warped into blind fanaticism. They see other sapient beings as raw material—either to be reshaped into “useful” forms or punished for daring to rival the Qu’s mastery.

There’s a sadistic streak in them too. They don’t just alter species for utility; they do it to assert dominance. Species who resist them, like the ones dubbed “Colonials,” are turned into forms designed to suffer eternally. It’s not about hatred—it’s about control. They’re so far removed from empathy that they don’t even see other species as deserving moral consideration.

After 40 million years of domination, the Qu leave the Milky Way, presumably to screw with other galaxies. Their absence lets the post-species evolve—some into new intelligent species, others into extinction. Fast-forward 500 million years, these who hated them and were destroyed by them band together with other galactic civilizations to hunt down the Qu. They finally defeat them in a massive, offscreen conflict. It's not clear if the Qu are wiped out or just subjugated, but their reign of terror ends.

To say she loves Mark would be incorrect. Love is a human thing. Love is fragile and sentimental and full of limitations. But she does want him. And that’s far worse.

She is possessive of Mark—not because she sees him as an equal, not because she fears losing him, but because he belongs to her. She has decided this. And that means no one else can have him. Not because she’s jealous—jealousy requires emotional attachment—but because she does not share her things.

And she is incredibly affectionate with him. Why? Because she wants him to fuck her.

Mark isn’t just an amusing pet—he’s a potential mate. The first she has considered in… well, maybe ever. She is starving for physical pleasure, for something that isn’t just mindless obedience. The males of her species were drones—barely sentient, incapable of giving her any real satisfaction. Mark, on the other hand, is different. He has free will. He has fight in him. He is defiant, loud, emotional.

And that thrills her.

She enjoys licking and biting him not as an act of affection, but because she is genuinely considering eating him. Not metaphorically. Not playfully. Literally. She wonders how he would taste. If he would scream. If he would beg. The idea excites her. Not because she wants him dead—but because she could. Because he is fragile. Because his life is a flickering flame, and she could snuff it out on a whim. And yet… she hasn’t.

Because she likes him as he is.

He amuses her. He resists her. And that is something no one else has ever done.

Let’s say Mark did start seeing Eve. Or Amber. Or anyone, really.

Would she cry? No. Would she be heartbroken? No. Would she beg him to come back to her? Absolutely not.

She simply wouldn’t understand. She doesn’t grasp the concept of emotional exclusivity. The idea of Mark choosing someone else is ridiculous to her—because what does choice have to do with anything? She already decided he was hers. That should be the end of it. To her, Mark is an entertaining little pet—noisy, interesting, and fun to mess with. But at the end of the day, if she really wanted to, she could turn him into a mindless thrall who obeys her every whim. She just doesn’t, because what’s the fun in that? She enjoys him as he is.

And no, she’s not crazy or stupid. The reason she doesn’t speak other species’ languages isn’t because she can’t—it’s because she doesn’t care. She sees herself as a god. Why would a god bother to learn the language of ants? She doesn’t need their approval, and she certainly doesn’t care what they think of her.

Does she care if he likes Eve? No. Not emotionally. Not in the way a human woman would. But if she wants Mark, then that means Eve is an obstacle—and obstacles get removed. Easily. Effortlessly. Without a second thought. Mark isn’t in love with her? That’s fine. He doesn’t need to be. She doesn’t require his love. She requires his body, his attention, his submission.

And if she ever did get bored? If she ever decided he was no longer entertaining? Well… there’s always the option of eating him.

[suiana]

this is inspired by inês and pedro from portugese history or smth BUT imagine being a servant to some noble princess and she marries your future yandere! king who falls for you instead of his wife.

you're loyal to your princess and don't reciprocate his feelings obviously. also, you're just a mere servant, not even of any noble blood. you can't dare to imagine being with a king. that doesn't stop the man from wanting you all to himself though.

he's never felt anything like this before. like yes, he's seen beautiful peolple but it doesn't even match up to the feelings that stir inside him when he as much as thinks about you. everything he feels makes him feel like a pre-pubescent boy that wants you carnally. it's a bit embarrassing. he's the king of a kingdom after all. always calm, always composed, never rash or impulsive. not like this.

but you're perfect.

he must have you. he's worked so hard, surely he deserves some compensation in the form of someone he really adores. so what if he has a wife? it was just an arranged marriage anyway. he bets his wife doesn't even like him and has a secret lover somewhere else.

you're the one he wants. not this random princess.

so he pursues you, wanting nothing more than for you to love him back. to love him and only him. all his council men and advisors tell him not to do it. that it's not wise to go after his wife's servant, some no name commoner. he doesn't care.

unfortunately for you, you succumbed to his advances. fortunately for him, you began to show him the love he so desperately craved.

and thus began your not-so-secret relationship. it was... quite wonderful, actually. he was an amazing lover. he treated you to the finest delicacies and spoiled you rotten. he truly only ever wanted the best for you and it showed in his actions. so much so that everyone was aware of how fond he was over you. even the queen (your princess) was supportive of your relationship with him.

however, all good times have to come to an end.

as expected, his parents weren't happy with your relationship with their son. are you serious? this random ahhh commoner is the one their son loves?? no way. this does not match their agenda.

you were charged with treason and sentenced to death not long after. your beloved king couldn't even do anything about it because he was in another kingdom attending to important affairs. truly the most despicable of parents.

you were set to be executed on the gulliotine in the middle of the kingdom. public humilation, is it? you made your way to your death bed, staring at the masses of people who commented about how pitiful you were. alas was the fate of an unlucky commoner.

"thank you, my love."

and you shut your eyes, never to open them ever again as the blade came falling down on your neck.

"stop!"

it was too late. the blade had already sliced your head off your body, blood pooling on the ground as your lifeless body remain limp on the gulliotine.

all was quite, except the laboured breaths of the kingdom's king as he shakily made his way over to your head. his hands were cold, eyes wide open in horror as he mutters to himself as though it would comfort him.

"no, no, no... hey, this is just a joke right? this..."

everyone in the area could only stare silently as their king silently wept over your death. his once pristine white garments now stained red as he cradles your head in his arms.

"why? why you? anyone but you..."

who knew that your death would be witnessed by your lover too? that your death day would coincide with his homecoming?

and just as fast as his despair and sadness came, so did rage.

all was calm except for the screams of his parents as his sword plunged deep into their chests. his face was dark, jaw tight as he gave a mere glance back at the crowd.

"kill everyone. make sure no one leaves alive."

at his order, all hell broke loose. where was the calm and benevolent king they knew?!

screams of pain and agony, cries for mercy... the crowd could only watch as their king stood beside your body. there wasn't a hint of remorse in his face. in fact, they couldn't read what he was even feeling. all they could see was the face of a man who was utterly crushed and desperate for his lover.

...

a few days after his massacre, he had divorced his ex wife and crowned you as his new spouse. he had carefully sown your head back onto your body, not wanting anyone else to touch what was his.

"you're beautiful, my darling."

he kisses your cold lips, helping you get dressed in your coronation outfit. his hands were soft, gentle as they always were with you. he wouldn't let anyone touch you. no, they didn't deserve to touch you. only he did.

he gently carried your body out to the grand hall, not caring about the terrified glances and looks from his advisors and the royal court. right, he had also brutally murdered anyone related to your death. the executioner, the advisors who agreed to your execution... no longer was he the benevolent king he was once known as but a mad dog.

"bow down to your new ruler."

he'll make sure you get recognised as what you were supposed to be recognised as.

how dare they try and kill you like you weren't his one and only? how dare they think so little of you and get rid of you when he wasn't in the country? that is a royal crime. not only are they looking down on you, but on him as well.

"from now on, you will listen to every demand and word that my spouse says."

if the air around the ballroom wasn't so thick, it might have come out as a joke. after all, you were dead. how were you to talk every again?

"welcome our new ruler."

that wasn't a question. it was a demand.

your king will make sure you get the love and respect you deserve. and who knows, maybe he'll get you back with how dedicated he is. he knows a thing or two about dark magic, perhaps the next thing he'll do is bring you back to life.

yes, that is a good idea. that way you and him can truly be together once again.

[carpenterswife]

HALF OF ME (iv)

SUMMARY: With Soldier Boy alive in the 2020’s, back in America, he starts his mission of vengeance. Of course, his first stop is to you; the only woman he’d truly wanted to start a relationship with, who’d taken his spot only months after his supposed death. And you don’t exactly expect your old lover to appear in your home, with the intent to kill.

WORD COUNT: 2238

WARNINGS: MINORS DNI. Typical Soldier Boy behaviour, gore, heavy violence, canon divergence.

SERIES MASTERLIST / MAIN MASTERLIST

Finding you was difficult. They were beginning to think Ben had been wrong, that you were six foot under in some unlabelled grave, rotting away. But, Ben was sure. And arguing with him seemed like signing their death warrant.

So, they kept searching. Despite the fact they could have located at least two other Payback members, and had them dead, by now, Ben was insistent on killing you first.

So, they kept fucking searching.

And then they found it.

It was a tiny discrepancy. Something most people would simply brush past. But, Hughie found it, and it was all they needed. They followed the rabbit hole, down and down, finding hidden documents and details not even Ben knew about.

It only took two days to pinpoint your location.

The Appalachian Mountains. In the middle of fucking nowhere. Smack-bang in the middle of one of the largest forests in the entire USA. But, to Ben, that fact was whatever. He had your location. And he was going to find you, even if it meant spending weeks searching every inch of that forest.

Butcher and Hughie knew it was a dumb idea.

But, they got Ben in a car, and started their roadtrip.

━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━

The quiet life was nice, you’d decided. You’d forgotten about Queen Maeve’s uninvited visit, going back to your routine of feeding the animals and drinking coffee on the balcony every morning.

It was weird. You used to be one of the most famous people on the planet. There was blood staining every inch of your hands, and families who were likely still trying to gain justice for the people you killed. You had decades of history. And, yet, you now lived out your days as some sort of Disney princess.

You couldn’t complain. It was better than willingly running into gunfire every week.

Padding through your dark home, the moonlight casting a soft glow over the floors, you headed for the kitchen. You were never too old for a midnight snack. Especially in the comfort of your own home. You turned into the kitchen.

And you saw it. A dark figure, shadowed in the corner.

But, you kept moving, playing oblivious. In your mind, your old training make itself own. Ben’s critiques and advice played like a movie, as you pulled the cabinet open, standing high on your toes to reach for packet of chips. Your senses were on fire, focused in on the quiet breaths, the soft squeaking of boots on the tile.

They moved, and so did you.

You ducked under the fist swinging towards your face, snatching a knife from the block beside the fridge. Holding it tightly in your fist, your stance ready to attack, you looked at the intruder. Every muscle in your body froze.

“Ben?”

He didn’t pull his punches. Ben grabbed you by the throat, using your momentary distraction to his advantage, shoving your back against the sharp edge of the counter. Instinctively, you swiped the knife towards him, but a rough hand caught your wrist, slamming it down onto the counter.

A cry of pain slipped past your lips, fingers releasing the knife. It was his turn to grab it, tossing it from your reach.

No words were spoken, just heavy breathing.

You’d never seen Ben look at you like this before. This look was reserved for those who got on the wrong side of him. Those who disappeared mysteriously overnight and were never found again — but you knew what happened. And so did he.

He was here to kill you.

“Ben—“ You choked out, through the tightening grip his hand had around your throat. The grip tightened, and your breath caught with a squeak, broken gasps for air trying desperately to pull in oxygen.

“How much did they pay you?” He demanded, his voice low and gravelly. “Huh? How much, did they fucking pay you?” There was something about him that was so different. A new edge to him, maybe. But, what caught your attention, was the look in his eyes.

Hurt. He was staring at you like you’d ripped his heart from his chest and stomped on it.

You clawed at his wrist, unable to bring any air into your lungs. Your nails bit into his skin, the scratches down his wrist quickly repairing themselves. He let you go. Not out of mercy. No. He grabbed your collar, lifting your head up, and then slamming it down onto the counter.

Your vision went completely white, all remaining breath knocked from your lungs with a gasp. Blinking desperately to clear the stars, you tried to struggle. But, he slammed you down again. And again. And again. Until he tossed you to the floor like nothing more than a rag doll.

The counter was cracked from the force of it, blood staining the white marble, and splattered across the counter. Your own kitchen. Stained with your blood. You could feel the warm liquid dripping down the back of your head, matting in your hair.

If you weren’t a supe, you’d be dead.

He didn’t let you get a word in, brutal with each of his attacks. As you desperately tried to scramble away, body on fire, he put his foot down on your ankle. Leaning down, staring intently at you, with dark eyes, Ben snarled. “How much?”

“Ben—“ Finally, words escaped. In a pathetic whimper that made his lips twitch in disgust. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your breath hitched with pain.

That answer wasn’t good enough for him. You swore you could feel the bones in your jaw crack, as his fist met your cheek. You cried out in pain, the force of the impact whipping you around, hitting your head against the ground.

His hand curled into your hair, forcing your eyes on him. “Don’t fucking lie to me, you bitch.” Your breaths were ragged, with pain and terror, staring up at the man you thought was dead. He seethed, nothing but anger and disgust (and hurt?) in his green eyes. “You whored yourself out to me, huh? Put my dick in your mouth? For what? Fuckin’ soften me up like a weak pussy?”

“Ben—“

“Don’t.” He tugged your hair, hard. “I loved you.” His teeth grit together.

Your heart broke, tears in your eyes as you stared up at him. He loved you. And he thought you’d hurt him? He was dead. He was dead. That’s what they said. They said he was dead. Your mind worked at 100 miles an hour, heart constricting.

He loved you.

Soldier Boy loved you.

You didn’t even think he was capable of that. Sure, you knew you had something special with him, something unique. But love? It’d never crossed your mind. You’d always loved him somewhat, always throwing yourself in front of bullets and danger to protect him. Always following his lead and teasing him.

Always pushing your luck with his temper. Because he never snapped. He never hurt you. He never hit you. You knew you’d loved him, when your heart would dance when he chuckled at your jokes. The way your body reacted to his hands on your hips during your first training session. You knew there was something. But, for sure, you thought it was one-sided.

That, to him, you were a good fuck. Just a hole, as he liked to say about some women.

But, you’d been so wrong. And, all this time, 37 years, he’d been alive. And you’d done nothing.

“I loved you.” He repeated, in a broken seethe. His eyes were less angry now, but still held that hint of vengeance. “I would’ve died for you.” You could’ve sobbed, right there. “We were gonna start a family.”

Your voice was shaky. “Ben. Please. I don’t know what’s going on.” You begged, pathetic and weak. Ben scoffed, emotional. “I thought you were dead. I swear it, Ben!” It was practically a plea; a desperate cry for him to believe you.

He was too blinded by his rage. “I waited every day for you.” He hissed, reaching over and grabbing his discarded shield. “For you to come and get me. To save me. You never came.”

“Ben—“

He shoved you down, head slamming against tile once more. Knees on other side of your hips, Ben gripped the edge of his shield, raising it high.

He was going to kill you. You couldn’t stop him. Couldn’t fight it. All you could do was look at him, tears running tracks through the blood on your face. A silent plea, begging him to not do this.

He rose the shield higher, lined up with the juncture of your throat.

And then he saw it. A glint of metal peeking out from under your shirt. He could recognise them from a mile away. They were his, after all. His dog tags, sat delicately just above your chest, resting on the skin like they were made to be there. His brows furrowed, movements faltering.

His dog tags. You were wearing his dog tags.

Ben hesitated, unsure.

He looked down at you, meeting your teary eyes, and his brain ran wild. Of memories of being a couple. Of the memories of when a big question mark had hung above your relationship, neither of you sure of what was going on, but treating each other like lovers anyway.

Your soft touches; the way your fingers would trace the contours of his muscles in the morning. The way you’d kiss each of his scars, muttering against his skin how perfect he was, despite the flaws and the imperfections littering his body. How gentle you were. He’d never felt a gentle touch before you.

How you’d giggle at his jokes, smile blinding, pretty dimples, cheeks flushed.

God, and those eyes. How they’d shine and shimmer when you looked up at him, like he was made of the stars themselves. He always used to melt when you propped your chin on his chest in bed, looking at him with that cute smile, and he’d trace your face with his thumb, cradling your cheeks like delicate glass.

Those few nights spent together, in the limited time you’d had together as an actual couple. The way you’d move together; perfectly in sync, like you were made for each other.

The way you’d hold him. Laugh with him. Smile at him. The passing touches. The lingering stares across red carpets and events, subtly checking each other out, and then meeting up in the supply closet. The quiet moments together, cooking dinner or merely holding each other. All those times you forced him to dance, and he’d begrudgingly spin you in the kitchen. The dates, and the movie nights, and the silly fights, and how warm his cold penthouse felt when you were with him.

Every memory, every moment, replayed in front of his eyes, as he stared at you. He lost his breath, muscles stiff. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bring this shield down and kill you. His chest ached and burnt.

He couldn’t kill you.

So, instead, he hit the blunt edge of shield against your head, and watched your eyes roll back.

━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━

Coming to was disorientating and painful.

Every inch of your body ached, from the beating you’d received from Ben. You cringed as the light made the throbbing in your head intensify. Through squinted eyes, you made out the sight in front of you.

You were in your dining room. And there were two… unfamiliar men stood by your table, leaning over files and papers. Movement caught your attention.

Ben. Setting his shield down by the table.

“Ben.” You choked out, instinctively trying to reach out and grab him. To check if he was real. If he was actually stood in front you. Living, breathing. Your hands didn’t move. You looked down, frowning at the sight of tattered rope tying your wrists of the arms of your chair.

The noise drew over the attention of the three men. They exchanged a silent look, and slowly, and rather intimidatingly, approached. You whined a little, at the throbbing pain that made a tremble run it’s course through your body.

One of the unfamiliar men pulled up a chair. “What d’ya know abou’ BCL-RED?” Was that an English or Australian accent? You couldn’t tell through the buzzing in your ears.

“Wha’?” You slurred, blinking rapidly, trying to orientate yourself. “BCL-what-now?” A grunt slipped past your lips. They didn’t look impressed by that answer. “I— I saw it on a file. Back in ‘84. Never figured out what it meant.”

The man learnt forwards. “Neva’ found out?”

Your head shook, and it made the pain increase. Your face scrunched up in agony. “Mm, no.” You groaned, breaths hitched. “It was all classified. Edgar never told me. Mallory and I— we tried to figure it out.”

“Grace Mallory?”

“What? Yes. Grace.” You groaned again. “Jesus. Can you turn off the fucking lights? It feels like there’s a drill in my head.” You tried to push your face into your shoulder, hiding from the light that made your eyes burn and your head feel like Ben was slamming it against the ground again.

There was a beat of silence. “Did you know?” That was Ben. He sounded hesitant.

“Know what?” You peeked up at Ben, eyes squinted to be able to look at him. He looked tense, face expressionless. “I thought you were dead. I don’t know what else to say to convince you. I thought you were dead.”

“How did you not know?” He demanded, his short fuse lit. Ben and his fucking temper.

“I don’t know, Ben!” Your own yell made you wince in pain. “They never told me shit! I tried for 15 years to get answers!”Ben didn’t look convinced. Of course he didn’t. He was so set in his heartbreak and rage, by your supposed betrayal, that he’d utterly convinced himself. “I didn’t know.” You echoed in a broken whisper.

“How’s ‘bout this?” You blinked rapidly, trying to focus in on the accented voice. “We track down the otha’ girl. See what she ‘as to say.” There seemed to be a group-wide agreement.

“Countess?” You grunted, confused. Your gaze flicked between the three men. “I know where she is.”

And that got their attention.

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[demonic0angel]

The Ghost Zone Cult (click for clarity)

I have a hc that Jazz was Queen regent for 4 years and in her last year, she had to be overthrown by Danny due to her tyranny and general instability 🫶

One-shot

Notes:

+ Jazz’s 1st two years as Queen regent were relatively good, but the third was when it started going downhill. She had made a lot of changes in the Ghost Zone to prepare for Danny’s ascension to the throne and since it caused civil unrest, multiple wars broke out. In an effort to keep the bloodshed minimum, Jazz played everyone like a game of chess. She succeeded, but her mental state was fragile, allowing Penelope Spectra to take advantage of that to start manipulating her.

+ In Jazz’s 4th year as Queen, she began to grow overzealous of Danny’s protection due to Spectra’s manipulations. She started a cult that worshipped Danny specifically and it spread within the Infinite Realms. It was successful at first and Danny didn’t notice anything until the followers grew obsessive towards him and Jazz began punishing “heretics.” Thankfully, no one “died” bc Danny stepped in.

+ After that, Danny had to quickly overthrow Jazz (there was no bloodshed bc Jazz surrendered to Danny) and then punish Spectra. After the entire situation passed, Jazz apologized for her actions towards the citizens of the Ghost Zone and willingly stepped down, allowing Danny to take his rightful place as King.

+ To recuperate, Jazz took a month long break before eventually going into the DCU world to finish her education, get a job, and remove herself from the Ghost Zone. The rest is history :)

+ The cult focuses on worshipping Danny, respecting the dead, finding peace, and helping with loss. The Ghost Zone is chaotic and stressful, and thus, Jazz was very careful to provide a place of stability and order. She put herself as the Matriarch and Danny as the god, and every new follower would have to form a contract in order to devote themselves wholeheartedly to Danny. Spectra would occasionally convince her to do even crazier things.

+ One of the things a follower of the Religion can do is revive Danny if he ever got injured or killed. As seen here. An ask where I mention the cult is here and another where I mention Jazz being overthrown is here.

+ Danny does not begrudge Jazz for her actions. They both blame themselves for what happened during that year (Danny felt like he could’ve worked harder to make Jazz depend on him so she wouldn’t have bottled it all up, while Jazz felt like she should’ve known better than to be manipulated). It’s a terrible situation all around, but they got through it and they grew even closer after that ordeal.

+ The cult created by Jazz is still operating, simply because she was so convincing that even if Danny himself tried to take it down, the followers wouldn’t believe him. However, Danny tries his best to be very careful about it and considers it like a company (with a lot of fanatic employees) and him as the boss. As such, he treats it like another part of being the Ghost King.

[bookbitchx]

"There is no such thing as High Lady."

Call Tamlin a misogynistic sexist asshole or whatever else you want, but he's right.

High Lady is a title Rhysand gave to Feyre.

It's honorary.

It wasn't 'earned'. She wasn't 'blessed' with it, and she certainly wasn't chosen by the land and the magic.

If there was a title and it meant something, don't you think Viviane, of all women, would've been granted it by the lands for holding down the fort in Winter Court for 50 years while Kalias was stuck UTM?

Kalias could've also easily slapped the title on her like Rhysand did with Feyre, and yet he didn't. You know why? Because Viviane doesn't need it. She's already respected and seen as his equal by his court and the others for what she has done.

Feyre can't say the same, can she?

SJM sets it up as this badass moment of empowerment, but all I saw was Rhysand giving a baby (by Fae years) a title and letting her run loose with it as well as letting it go to her head.

The first thing she did after getting that title was go and get revenge on a whole ass court because she had issues with its High Lord which is insane in of itself but it brings me to my point, that there was no political repercussions where as if Rhysand had done it, it would've declared an internal war between Night and Spring.

It would've been a good ass arc if she had learned Prythian politics, history, diplomacy, the cultures, and customs of the other courts, including her own, so much as visited the other courts, slowly climbed the ranks and learned instead of Rhysand shoving that crown on her head and down everyone else's throats.

It's like taking me, a complete clueless, inadequate foreigner, and making me the Queen of England. Utterly ridiculous.

"You just hate Feyre being High Lady because you want Nesta to be one."

The same thing goes for Nesta, babe. NONE of the Archeron sisters are qualified to be High Ladies, honorary or not.

One of the hills I will die and kill on.

[qqueenofhades]

I just feel like even if we all vote and Biden wins, Trump won't accept the loss, and eventually they'll just put him in anyway. And then there won't be another real election. Even if Biden wins and somehow is actually confirmed (which again, I think is unlikely) we're going to have to do this for 30 more years because of the SC, and that isn't at all sustainable.

All this isn't to say I won't vote but I just think people are being way too optimistic about what happens if Biden wins. I don't think him winning will keep Trump out or the horrible fascist future at bay.

Look, I get the fear. I do, I do... but this is also one of the times when you have to ask if it's actually telling you something true, or if it's just preying on that generalized feeling of doom to make everything seem hopeless even if we win again. And that is... there is absolutely no actual mechanism for Trump to be installed as president if Biden wins the Electoral College (since as we have repeatedly seen, the popular vote is immaterial). SCOTUS is horrible and evil and are trying to interfere as much ahead of time for Trump as they can, but part of that is because they can't simply issue an order for Biden to be removed and Trump to become God King By Fiat. That is not how it works. If Biden wins in November, he will be president until his term ends, he steps down, Kamala takes over, or anything else.

Trump tried a coup with all the entire overwhelming might of the US government as the sitting president last time; fortunately, it failed. Reforms to the Electoral Count Act have been made to prevent another January 6. The Department of Defense and the military are still under (and would be on another January 6) Biden's command, not Trump's. That's not to say that Trump won't try some shit with his insane cult followers, but he is just a late 70s conman from Queens out on bail and under sentence for a criminal trial, who is already the biggest and most disgraced loser and asshole in American political history. He is so desperate to cheat his way back into power because in a real sense, this IS the last-chance saloon for him. He can't put off the legal proceedings, however long they take, for another four years. He's losing his marbles at a rapid rate. I'm just saying: we don't know what or when, but there will be (and already have been) real consequences for him. That is why he is scrabbling so hard.

"Even if we vote, nothing matters and Trump will win anyway" is another of those insidious lies that works to make you feel as if the battle is endless and pointless and none of its victories matter. Of course it will not all be magically fixed forever if Biden wins. We will still have to figure some godforsaken fucking way to expand SCOTUS or kick Alito and Thomas off it. But we will have bought ourselves, our democracy, our country, and the world time to do that, and put another nail in Trump's coffin. That matters. It matters a lot.

Fascism wants to present itself as overwhelming, irresistible, inevitable, and ready to happen no matter what you do, and that's what your brain wants you to buy in now. But that's not the case, Trump is not inevitable or some all-powerful monolith (in fact, another of the debate takeaways seemed to be that Biden looked bad but people still hate Trump too much for it to really shift anything). He is a loser, a fraud, a conman, a liar, and a crook, and he WANTS you to fear him like an almighty god. Don't give him or the MAGAGOP the satisfaction.

Frankly, having to endure another four months of this might kill us all, and I know that we are tired and scared (me too). But IT IS NOT INEVITABLE THAT WE ARE DOOMED. Not at all. Let's hang onto that and tell that anxiety doom voice to shove it.

Hugs.

[workingwhileidream]

Okay Burrow's End had me thinking some thoughts... So here are my favorite Dimension 20 moments that rotate like a rotisserie chicken in my brain (in no particular order other than the order I thought if them).

- Riz goes into the butthole of the Corn Ooze Monster (Fantasy High). The first absolutely insane shenanigans move anyone makes on D20, setting the tone the show will have forever.

- Raphaniel kills Queen Pamelia (Ravening War). I think I saw Brennan's soul leave his body briefly when he got that How Do You Want To Do This from Matt. Time was an absolute flat circle that day.

- Hank convinces Brennan to let him role savvy instead of sneak (Mentopolis). Hank is one of the most famous content creators, having him on the show was phenomenal to begin with. Then right out of the gate, he pulls this move in his first episode. And it just works. Hilarious, instantly iconic.

- Jet Dies (A Crown of Candy). When Lapin dies, it is shocking but I wasn't attached to him as a character. Lapin was a bit antagonistic and his death happens early in the season. On the other hand, Jet is instantly likeable. Emily and Siobhan are amazing as siblings, their performances this campaign are some of my favorites. I have siblings and I am very close to them, so this hit me like a ton of bricks.

- The entire epilogue of Burrow's End. "Are you pitching and Air Bud ending?" is one of the instant hall of fame quotes from this show. I started crying I was laughing so hard.

- Ylfa's bottleneck and the TPK (Neverafter). There are so many close calls for total party kills in Dimension 20 history, but this is where it finally happens and it's only 3 episodes in. I was on edge, expecting another TPK at any turn, for the rest of the campaign.

- 3 nat one initiative rolls for the battle that literally opens the season (A Starstruck Odyssey). The beginning of a new season is always full of excitement. This season was extra special, having everyone back in the dome after the pandemic and the season being based off Brennan's Mom's comics. The zoom energy is still in the air and I still think about this season opener a lot.

- Mother Timothy Goose breaks Snow White's concentration with a cantrip (Neverafter). Only Ally Beardsley could and we all damn well know it. Still didn't stop me from being so far in disbelief that all I could do is laugh.

- Hob's "You will never know another lonely day" speech to Rue (A Court of Fey and Flowers). I will still cry about this if I think about it for too long. Rue and Hob's romance is the heart of this season to me. I won't be over it ever.

- Gertrude convinces Nyruth to give the Questing Queens very powerful boons after the Queens tried to rob them only a few hours earlier (Dungeons and Drag Queens). The fact that this season exists drives a level of serotonin into my brain that is unimaginable. This is the definition of a big swing and when Bob rolls well, Brennan has no other choice than to honor it. This is one of the moments I have made a meme of. I cannot wait for season 2.

- Wuuvy shows up to the duel and she did not come to play (A Court of Fey and Flowers). Aabria has talked about how Wuuvy is one of her favorite NPCs and I feel the same. Wuuvy and Rue's relationship has such a great arc and this moment is so pivotal.

- Fabian's no good very bad day (Fantasy High Sophomore Year). An iconic moment in D20 history that was truly wild to watch live. For everything to go so fantastically bad for Fabian and Lou was unprecedented. There is a reason why people still talk about this moment to this day.

- Amathar survives being pushed off the castle (A Crown of Candy). Brennan tried to kill Lou so many times in this campaign. I really thought Brennan had gotten him with this one, my stomach sunk. But Lou pulls it out and Amathar lives once again.

- Pib plays "Smoke on the Water" (Neverafter). "I stepped out to play 'Smoke on the Water' " is also a hall of fame quote to me. This list could be all Pib moments if I'm being honest, he's my favorite Zac character. And the fact that Zac doesn't roll well makes this moment funnier to me.

- Buddy Bear gets planted with the All Blossom (Dungeons and Drag Queens). Jujubee and Brennan owe me a therapy session for this one. I sobbed. My cat is my baby and I will be ruined the day she leaves me, so I get it. I really do.

- "Eat your dice, Brennan" (Fantasy High Sophomore Year). A great bit made physically possible by Siobhan. I hope Siobhan gives him gummy dice or something like that so that Brennan can continue to eat his dice for Junior Year.

- Orange Top Hat Fairy (Neverafter). It's a horror season and the cast is doing bits about how hot a mini is the entire finale and the Adventuring Party that followed. I felt the stress and off the walls energy through the screen. The Smooth Criminal pin was the first piece of Dimension 20 merch I bought.

- Viola's epic takedown of Phoebe (Burrow's End). Watching Rashawn absolutely crush it her first time in the dome was amazing. I loved Viola from the jump, her arc was so satisfying and fun to watch. Also the idea of a tiny stoat kicking a gun just the right way to get it to fire is hilarious. No notes other than please have Rashawn come back on every season she possibly can.

- Evan Kelmp warns the Rosemont student not to duel him (Misfits and Magic). Brennan's deadpan warning matched with the reactions of the other players and Aabria really make this scene. An underrated Brennan moment for sure.

- Stacey Fakename turns out to be real (Mentopolis). This was such a good reoccurring bit, so to have Stacey be real at the end of the story was too funny. In a season of bits, tropes, and puns - this one has the most payoff to me and is definitely my favorite.

[i-cant-cast-that-yet]

Y'know, I read a lot of Jiuyuan--or really just anything Shen Jiu in general, and Id like to pitch this idea to the class:

Disciple Shen Jiu who fuckin haaates men, right? Shen Jiu who goes to brothels to sleep bc he just can't around the other boys knowing full well how shit his reputation is bc of it but Fuck You he's gonna do what he has to to get some fucking rest on this shit ass peak of pretentious rich-kids who wouldn't know the tip of their sword from the hilt unless it was jammed in their throats--

Disciple Shen Jiu who's seen just about every flavor of man in the streets both from his nights with his jiejie's and from his time with the Qiu and the slavers, and loathes them with a passion and is, shamefully in his mind, afraid of them.

Standoffish, rude, holier than thou, venom spitting queen with a cruel streak a thinly veiled mile wide, Shen Jiu. A scum villain in the making.

Enter Disciple Shen Yuan.

Shen Yuan, in all his millennial transmigrator glory. Hikkikomori ass lame ass chokes on a meatbun and fucking croaks after reading a porn harem web novel for the fucking plot (cough-lbh-cough) Shen Yuan.

This rando ass dude with Shen Jiu's family name--no they aren't related stop asking, Shen Yuan why do you look grossed out do you wanna fight??--

Shen Yuan who doesn't get close to any of his shijie's, bc "Oh they're all gonna be in Bingge's harem at some point, I don't wanna steal the protagonists wives!!"

Shen Yuan, a shut-in nerd in his early to mid 20s, who also shirks any of his shixiong's attention for other reasons. He's not big on sports in the first place, and as cool as swords are they're fucking heavy!!! Where's the training montage skip button, system!?!? All this (ugh) comraderie...he just wants to stay in the library and pretend the scrolls are as interesting as zhongdian was, okay?

Shen Jiu, who sees these avoidant traits in a boy with his name and a face that looks like his and assumes Shen Yuan has the same traumas as him.

He hates men, Shen Yuan included for both the happenstance of his birth and also because he's an idiot, but now he's seeing more of him reflected in this dude and it itches.

Maybe he bullies Shen Yuan like he does Binghe. Maybe Shen Yuan, who isn't actually a teenager in his own head like lbh was and fucking hates the scum villain (he called for castration in one life and he'll do it again!! This life gave him cultivation and a sword, he'll get creative if he has to) fights back.

Puts all that time in the forums to good use and verbally eviscerates the guy. Hits on several sore topics all at once and if it wasn't for the very public scene being caused Shen Jiu might have killed this upstart instead of just throwing a punch and jumping him like he currently is.

And listen. Fighting between peaks is typical. The Qing Jing peak lord of the time could care less if Shen Jiu fights the Liu kid from Bai Zhan--there's history between the peaks as it is. But the two Shens beefing so publically?? That's bad for Qing Jing's image.

Shen Jiu might be hated, but Shen Yuan is adored by several key figures across the sect and this Shizun can't tell if the brat did it on purpose or not but it's troublesome either way. Shen Jiu is here on Zhangmen-shixiong's head disciples request, so she can't get rid of either of them.

So she strategizes. It's like her whole thing.

Qing Jing peak lord-jie sticks the Shen's in the xianxia equivalent of the get along shirt. She makes them go on missions together, do chores together, etc. They'll either snap and kill one another or become friends. She wins either way.

It's bad at first. Blood is drawn, fans are thrown and broken over heads. They're too alike and too different and Shen Jiu sees himself in this kid but also every rich boy who wastes their own potential and privilege that they can't realize they were blessed with and he haaates it. Shen Yuan is pissed bc this ass is cruel and awful but so fucking sympathetic once he's spent enough time around the guy to put some pieces together. Bro loves a problematic blorbo and Binghe was a lot of things in pidw, but the product of Shen Jiu's projection is chief among them and Shen Yuan is getting a whole lot of it right now and it puts a lot into perspective.

...................

This is getting away from me now. It's late. Maybe I'll pick this up later.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Switch 2 Launch Titles Announced!

The Legend of Zelda: BotW / TotK / CDi

Unsurprisingly, a 4k60p upgrade to the two of the Switch’s most popular titles is coming first to Switch 2. But that’s not all- Not only is the DLC for Breath of the Wild included, but three additional vintage Zelda games are getting upgrades with Wand of Gamelon, Faces of Evil, and Zelda’s Adventure to be included.

Silent Hill f

The scary new Silent Hill installment is coming to Switch quick, with Nintendo willing to debut a far darker than usual game for the new more “serious” system. Silent Hill f will include exclusive custom skins as well, including Mario, Samus, Link, and Kirby visible as torn-off disembodied skins laying on the ground across the town.

Super Mario Space Odyssey

The sequel to Super Mario Odyssey heads to space in the new sequel, which takes Mario and Cappy out of orbit to visit new planets and planetoids across the solar system and beyond, making it the first Mario game ever to explore a “Galaxy” of levels.

The Lord of the Rings: Bombadil Kombat

From the makers of the recent Lord of the Rings: Gollum, this new fighting game will see fan favorite Tom Bombadil from Tolkien’s legendarium beat down Sauron, Saruman, Morgoth, Lesgoth, The Witch King of Angmar, The Warlock Queen of Vidmark, and that one Orc who says “looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!” in a side-on fighting style arena.

Tetris Heap 2025

Nintendo will yet again try to improve the one perfect video game in history by adding more useless distracting crap! Tetris Heap 2025 will include new modes like Fireworks mode, in which fireworks go off in the background as you play Tetris the same way as always; Water mode, in which there is water and sea-life in the background as you play Tetris the same way as always; Battle Royale mode, in which other players can enjoy Fortnite in the background while you play Tetris the same way as always, and a revolutionary new "Jelly Tetris" mode in which you play Tetris the same way as always while watching a guy try to eat Jello-O with chopsticks in the background.

Animal Crossing: No Russian

Animal Crossing gets real, and really really serious in this game exploring the nature of terrorism and black-flag operations. Can your town stand up to attacks by other players and NPCs who attempt to kill your villagers to effect political change? Try not to let your village descend into fascism as you balance safety with liberty in this nightmare scenario for kids.

Switch Fit Adventure: Legend of the Thigh-Master

Ring Fit is SO 2019! This time the Switch 2 will offer an entire gymnasium of add-ons like rowing machines, treadmills, pull-up machines, shake weights, and the new Metroid themed Ab-Rotation “Morph Ball.” Nintendo is not responsible for crushed spinal columns.

[cryinggirlnamedhelen]

in the world of Fae, dreams are woven from honey and stardust, mischief is made of spun cinnamon and pepper, and love is born from passions of fire and dreams of moonlight…

but before you emerge into this enticing land, a few rules must be established.

1. everyone here is immortal. the moment they reach the age of 20, they do not physically age anymore, and they will live for the rest of eternity. they can only die in combat from wounds; however, they are often so durable that even the deepest of wounds do not kill them. there have only ever been 1 or 2 deaths in history.

2. everyone here are addressed as fae. they can all use basic magic, such as telekinesis. however, many are much more skilled than others and even have magic that are specific to them. this is most often seen within nobles or royalty.

3. there are five royal families and thirty-five noble families, each of different ranks. the five royal families are the schmidt family, the mikage family, the barou family, chigiri family, and the itoshi family. court nobles are members of the royal or noble families who are politically involved, usually the father or eldest son of those families.

4. anyone, even a peasant, may increase into becoming a noble as long as they do a significant enough act or if there isn’t exactly 35 noble families. you will see an example of this very situation soon in one of the adventures you may go on.

5. the barou family are the ones currently on the throne, but every generation, the family on the throne changes. the next generation will have the mikage family on the throne. every person of each of the five royal families are addressed with royal titles; however, the ruler on the throne is addressed as “emperor” or “empress” instead of “king” or “queen”.

6. for nobles and royals, there is an academy that they go to for basic schooling, manners, history, behaviors, nobility knowledge, tactics, and battle strategies. a child will stay there from ages 5-20, and age 20 is the age where they reach adulthood, therefore graduating.

CHOOSE YOUR ADVENTURE:

isagi yoichi is but a humble merchant who often helps at his parents’ farm. however, after accidentally exposing a royal court noble named kira as a fraud, he quickly becomes a court noble in place of kira. but as he discovers more about the palace, the land of the Fae, the secrets of the land, and the secrets of the royal and noble families, it’s almost like he was destined to do this. that he was always meant to be a court noble who is praised and loved by everyone.

if this character is chosen, you are: the closest lady-in-waiting of a noblewoman, and you are someone who kira has had his eyes on for years. however, he’s always made you feel discomfort, and you instantly felt grateful and obliged to help isagi after he proves that kira is a fraud and gets him kicked out of the palace. you agree to help isagi uncover the secrets of the palace, but as you get closer and closer with him, you feel strangely…familiar with him.

chigiri hyoma is the beautiful yet icy prince of the chigiri family. women adore him and throw themselves at him at every turn, but he turns down every single one. his soft and feminine features are often noted, although those very traits seem to be what the women of the Fae Empire adore the most. for decades, he has rejected everyone that his mother or father recommended him to marry, simply seeing no point in marrying someone he doesn’t care an ounce about.

if this character is chosen, you are: his elder sister’s new lady-in-waiting, who was once a servant working in the kitchens and cleaning. however, after a certain incident, princess koyuki chigiri adores you and makes you a lady-in-waiting. however with your cropped hair and boyish traits, chigiri almost instantly feels an attraction towards you. but how he reacts to these new emotions? well, he knows: treat you like shit and do nothing but argue with you.

mikage reo is the future emperor of Fae, the inheritor to the throne. his whole life, everything was fed to him with a silver spoon and with a matching silver platter. and yet, he’s bored with his life. lessons for being the future emperor are far too easy, he can effortlessly get anyone to love him through his money alone, and everyone acts the exact same: gossipy, superficially polite, and annoying. he almost hates his life, but he’s obligated to keep on living to be emperor.

if this character is chosen, you are: a rebellious noblewoman who is constantly running away and wreaking havoc. you hate your family, you hate the idea of being forced to marry a man you don’t love and becoming a mother maid, and you hate the idea of your future. but one fateful night, when you are running away from your bodyguards again from sneaking out, you see the future emperor of Fae, mikage reo, in the cheerful night market, clearing also sneaking out.

itoshi rin is not the heir, just a spare. in two generations, the itoshi family will take the throne; but it won’t be rin, it will be his older brother sae. and for this reason, much of rin’s childhood was spent in the shadow of sae. attendants and educators always came for sae, not rin. people always spoke to sae at banquets and events, not rin. prince rin will always be “future emperor sae’s little brother” in everyone’s eyes. when will anyone ever see him as “rin”?

if this character is chosen, you are: a simple daughter of a merchant who spends most of her days working in the fruit market at night and taking care of her younger siblings. one day, prince itoshi rin sneaks out a single time just to see how it’s like at the fruit market for the general public, and he sees you. but in your conversation, you don’t bring up sae a single time, the first time it had ever happened in rin’s entire life. from then on, he begins to sneak out every day.

karasu tabito is a nobleman and the current general of the military. he’s a skilled tactician, strategist, and fighter, one everyone loves. most women of the empire would grovel at his feet just for a chance to spend one night with him, but karasu is simply too honorable and morally true to agree to such offers. he’s a kind man, which is very much the reason why he rarely ever talks to women these days. he’s usually too busy in his office writing strategies anyways.

if this character is chosen, you are: someone who he has known since childhood, ever since his days at the academy. he has been in love with you for as long as he remembered, and yet since you have both always been rivals at the academy, he could never admit it. but after saving you from an arranged marriage by marrying you himself, you are both in a supposedly “loveless” marriage despite the fact that karasu loves you very much. but how does he tell you so?

michael kaiser is half royalty. his mother is a member of the schmidt royal family and had an affair with his father after a passionate night. however, after coming to terms with her actions, she ran away, never associating with kaiser’s father ever again. bitter with rage for losing the woman he loved and the chance of becoming royalty slipping through his fingers, kaiser’s dad begins to abuse him. but after working hard enough, kaiser finally escapes and becomes nobility.

if this character is chosen, you are: his childhood best friend, who he blackmails the royals to turn into his wife. you are both constantly on small little adventures in Fae, much to the displeasure and dismay of the royal families. you accompany him through his anguish, pain, joy, happiness, jealousy, and most of all: love. you’re the love of his life after all. how could you not? but after a certain palace jester named ness appears, you begin to realize a darker side to kaiser…

@ohagiyo @yorubl1d3 @levihanmyotp excited?

[starogeorgina]

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫

Paring: Aemond Targaryen x reader

Warnings: Corruption kink, loss of virginity, fingering, hand job, mention of blood.

Deep in thought you pace the floors of your bedchamber the cold floor below, pinching at the pads of your feet while you palm at your breasts. It was the hour of the eel, and the only light was from the candles and flickering flames of hearth.

“Byka mēre.” (Little one)

Startled, you use your hands to conceal your breasts. You look across the room and see a tall figure by the fireplace, “cousin.”

“Hmm,” he lets our disapproving tsk. “You should be asleep. Tomorrow will be a long day.”

He wasn’t wrong. Your father, Ser Gwayne, and yourself travelled to the red keep so he and Queen Alicent could find a suitable husband for you. It wasn’t uncommon for Aemond to visit you before settling for the night, but he usually didn’t come so late.

“Why aren’t you asleep?”

Aemond ignores the question and finally turns to face you, his expression hard to read. In a stern tone, he asks, “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Pirtirys.” (Liar.)

Frowning, you shake your head. You hated it when Aemond spoke in High Valyrian. He knew how badly you wanted to learn it since the histories of House Targaryen fascinated you, but as you grew up in OldTown and had Hightower blood, you never got the opportunity to learn about such things.

“Some may consider what you’re doing unbecoming of a young lady soon to be married.”

Feeling embarrassed, you look down at the ground. “I was told simulating your breasts makes them grow larger.”

“Oh,” he smiles at you mockingly. “And who told this?”

“A couple of my ladies... Why are you here so late?”

“Your breasts are in proportion to the rest of your body,” he says, ignoring your question. "Plus, I can tell when you are lying. So tell me, Why are you groping at yourself as if you’re putting on a show in a whorehouse?”

“I… I was told if a woman touches herself during sex it can bring her pleasure; I just wanted to see if it was true.”

“If you wish to know, you only needed to ask.”

Stepping forward Aemond lowers your hand and replaces it with his mouth. If anyone else had tried to touch you in such a way, you would have screamed, hit them, and ordered the knight standing guard outside your room to kill them.

But with Aemond, it was different.

The warmth from his tongue was a stark contrast to the feeling of your fingers. He takes one of your breasts into his mouth, teeth grazing soft flesh, sucking at your nipple. A small moan leaves your mouth, encouraging him to keep going.

A sudden knock at the door causes you to leap apart. Aemond leaves the room without saying anything, his head held high while you hurry to fix your nightgown for your handmaiden entering the room.

—

Aemond couldn’t get you out of his mind, his sweet younger cousin, his little one.

You were only a few years younger, but growing up, you were much smaller in height, which is why he gave you the nickname. All the teasing was in jest, of course; you were his favourite, and the prince could think of nothing worse than upsetting you. You had an innocence he had never seen in another person, even now that you had become a grown woman.

The more the Prince watches lords parade their sons, themselves or whoever the next male heir in their house was to his uncle Gwayne, he grew more and more irritated.

You were his beautiful, innocent girl; he wouldn’t allow for you to be ruined by some man unworthy of you.

He would be the one to marry you.

As far as the one-eyed prince was concerned, you were his to love and cherish, and he would be the one to take your maidenhood to seal the deal, making sure you were his forever. And in the back of his mind there may be a sick satisfaction knowing you would allow nobody else to touch you in the way he already has.

His sweet girl, all ready to be corrupted by him and only him.

—

The next few weeks were long and tiresome. Your father had paraded you around court while eagerly listening to every lord who came to him and said why they should be your husband. But none of them paid any mind to you, the bride.

However, Prince Ameond was a different matter. During the rare few hours you had, he would come and keep you company. He gifted you books of Targaryen history, a pearl necklace, and a silk dress that was similar in shade to his dragons scales. He even read poems to you.

And not once has he tried to touch you again. Perhaps almost being caught scared him, or he was no longer interested.

Aemond was reading while you practiced needlework in silence until a sudden thought crossed your mind. “Do you think of me as spoilt?”

“Jason Lannister is a cunt,” he says sharply. “He only referred to you as spoilt because your father refused his marriage proposal on the spot. Out of curiosity, what do you want in a husband?”

“I want a husband who pays attention to me like you do.”

He smirks, placing his book on the arm of the chair. Aemond waves for you to go over to him. “My lady, do you want a man like me, or do you want me?”

“I want you, my prince.”

When you stand in front of him, his hand immediately goes to your hip. “My uncle still has lots of lords to speak with, but I may know a way he would agree for us to be married immediately if that’s what you truly wanted.”

“What is it?”

“If you’re no longer a maiden, then Ser Gwayne would have no choice but to betroth us.”

“I would be dishonoured.”

“You would be married to a dragon.” His grip on your hips tightens. “I would be the only man ever filling your womb with their seed; no dishonour would be taking place.”

“Why do you want this?”

Aemond thinks hard before answering. The prince was completely obsessed with you, to the point it was borderline possessive. And from the moment you became of age to be married, he has been hounding his mother to arrange a marriage between the two of you, but as always, she put duty above all else and insisted on waiting to see who else asked for your hand, but Aemond couldn’t let that happen.

He’s silently for so long you start to grow nervous, “Aemond?”

“You are mine, little one, and always have been.”

Swallowing thickly, you step back out of his reach and remove the thin material covering your body, then move to straddle Aemond’s lap. “Then make me yours forever; claim me so no other man can have me.”

Aemond claims your lips with his own. With one leg on either side of his lap, Aemond lowers his hand underneath you with ease, using his finger to spread the small amount of wetness dripping from your folds to and drag it up to your clit. After a few moments, he urges you to move off him. Aemond lifts his hips and pulls his clothing down until his cock is free, then pulls you back onto his lap.

You look down at his penis, watching as precum forms a glistening tip on the head of his cock. Holding your gaze, Aemond guides your hand to slowly start stroking him.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes,” he confirms. “You are doing good; I’m going to prepare you now so that it doesn’t hurt so much.”

Your stomach clenches.

Aemond slides one long, slender finger inside you, then adds another. He pumps them back and forth while rubbing at your clit. You feel a weird sensation, like your core is starting to spasm. You still stroke at his cock, but your movements are now weaker than before.

“I feel weird,” you mumble.

“It’s okay, that’s good. Let the feeling take over.”

A few seconds later, you cum over his fingers, whimpering his name. “You’re doing so good,” Aemond withdraws his fingers from and lines his cock up. “I’ll try my best to take it slow.”

Placing one hand on your backside, Aemond holds you in place as he eases into you. Feeling the sting of his cock stretching you, you whine, “It’s too big!”

“Tis only the tip, little one. Rub your clit, it will only feel better.”

Doing as he says you start rubbing as Aemond pushes you down until his cock is completely inside you. It felt weird—a good weird. Aemond holds onto your hips again and starts to slowly move you up and down; you spread up the rubbing motions.

“I think I’m going to cum again.”

“Then cum for me,” he says before kissing you again.

You moan into his mouth when a similar feeling as before comes over you. Aemond’s thrusts become sloppy as he approaches his own peak, spilling his seed inside you.

After a few moments of kissing and Aemond stroking your back tenderly, you remove yourself from his lap. Glancing down between your legs, you notice blood-mixed arousal sliding down your thighs.

Aemond tilts your chin up gently, “tis normal for some women to bleed.”

“Oh.”

You step back and reach for your nightgown to redress, suddenly worried this might have been a mistake. Why if Aemond decided you weren’t good enough to be his wife?

“What happens now?” You ask shyly.

“I will have one of your ladies prepare a bath for you,” he leans down and presses a kiss to your cheek. “You need to do nothing else but rest, and while you do that, I will speak with my mother and inform her of what transpired. Then I suspect come morning she will be meeting with Ser Gwayne to discuss our betrothal.”

[jayden-killer]

Dance with me, my lady. My princess.

Knight!Eddie × Princess!Reader.

Finally, the grand day everyone was waiting arrived: the ball, hosted by your parents, the sovereigns of Hawkins. And Eddie will take this chance, once and for all, to confess his love for you.

⚠️ warnings: use of Y/N, Eddie being madly in love with reader, mention of sex at the end.

A/N: Ugh, I love knight!Eddie. This gotta be my fav fan version of him.🤭 As always, I apologise for my English and any mistakes in this fic. I'm a non-native English speaker.

Divider by @strangergraphics.

Great day today for the reign of Hawkins! The palace had opened its doors to celebrate the tenth year of birth of the new kingdom. All that was said about it, from the nobles to the villagers. Even those living in the most rural areas would not have missed such an opportunity. This celebration would mark the beginning of a dance that would take place on the day of the anniversary; the palace was in ecstasy, especially the current queen, making sure nothing was out of place. From the golden banners, to the pruned hedges of the immense royal garden. On one of those sunny spring days the princess of Hawkins was admiring with amusing her mother and the maids run right and miss to select the most beautiful flowers to decorate the ballroom.

She did not notice that behind the pillar where she was resting appeared the knight Edward C. Munson. Her great friend, personal protector who simply called 'Eddie'. "There is a great movement today, eh?" asked the knight with a grin. The princess jumped, only now noticing her presence. "By the gods!" She exclaimed, surprised, "stop appearing out of nowhere. I’m always afraid it might be someone else but you". Eddie rolled his eyes, amused. He knew that it was not mature to surprise the princess like this, but after months of service at the castle, he had a strong relationship with her, so much so that he had difficulty in hiding his playful nature.

"Excuse me, Your Royal Highness. Or is it better Y/N?" "My mother would kill you with her own hands if she heard something like that." And it was true. It was not allowed for a knight (moreover, one of such lower rank) to use the name of a descendant of the royal family. Eddie also leaned his back against the pillar and crossed his arms to his chest, watching with amused eyes the desperate faces of the maids.

Then he turned his head slightly and let his eyes rest on the beautiful face of the princess. "I bet you already have a suitor for tonight". The girl looked up at him. She shook her head. "Actually, no. I didn’t want anyone by my side". Eddie felt a jolt of hope and adrenaline mixed together, but he did not show it; he only widened his eyes and puffed. "I’ve never heard a princess turn down her suitors." "Then I must be the first in history". "It appears so".

An almost embarrassing silence followed. The princess swore to hear the knight’s eyes upon her, making her feel embarassed, until she was shaken by the voice of her friend.

"You’re too beautiful to dance alone tonight".

A wave of heat swept over the girl, her cheeks turning purple-red; Eddie found them pretty in his heart. He would have preferred to die protecting her and the kingdom for which he served, rather than admit what was currently going on in his head. "You only say that because we are great friends," the princess whispered. "I only say that because this is the truth." He turned his head elsewhere, everywhere but to look at her face. Eddie’s hand gripped the hilt of the sword, a habit he had begun to develop since he first stepped in the palace. "But I don’t want men by my side-" Eddie wouldn’t let her finish the sentence, cutting it off almost aggressively. "You should. You’re beautiful, smart, funny, educated and.. and you will soon be married to someone who deserves you. Someone who will really do you justice." He sighed, trembling. "Who will go to battle for you, protect you dutifully. And that day, I’ll be happy to see you happy".

The words died in Y/N’s throat, not knowing how to respond to that confession from his friend, but there was no need for it because Eddie had already set out for the other wing of the castle, marching away. The princess laid a trembling hand on her heart.

Dub. Dub dub. Dub dub.

She felt her heart beat faster than expected. Perhaps that confession was not as far off as he thought. And maybe those eyes full of adoration when she least expected it were not random, just as they were not random compliments, kisses on the hand in the stupidest moments or Eddie's hands braiding her hair with daisies… She would not have wanted any other man at his side but him.

That very evening the royal hall was full of people, and the dances had already begun. A table full of food, on which were placed spicy chicken, oils, marinated vegetables, fruits and much more was placed on a pedestal under an imposing stained glass window of the palace. There sat the rulers and the princess positioned between them, with an expression of melancholy and boredom adoring her face. The most beautiful fabric surrounded her body; a graceful and brilliant dress that shone in the light of candles. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Edward standing straight, just beyond the end of the table, looking at the people present. Nor did he turn his head to the princess. She felt overcome with disappointment when a knight, too presumptuous and too insistent, slid her off the chair and led her to the center of the room, hand in hand. She had recognized that face: Ser Jason from the house of Craver with a fine reputation on his back for decades.

She glanced back at Edward, over her shoulders. A silent cry for help. For a moment the eyes of the two crossed, then she continued to walk. How much she hated those formalities. And how much she hated that it wasn’t her Eddie dancing with her. That was what Edward was thinking, feeling powerless even in his heavy armor. He sighed heavily, trying not to break down. Tonight, she is radiant. But when is she not so beautiful?

Edward flinched when someone, imperceptibly, touched him. Steve, that is how he called him, higher in rank than him, looked at him with disappointment.

"I can see it in your face. Come on, that thing is probably boring her to death," said Steve, crossing his strong arms at his chest, now looking at the princess. She was almost dying of boredom! Eddie didn’t say anything, nor did he move. "Really? I think she’s having fun," he lied. Steve rolled his eyes. "Sure, sure. If you don’t ask her to dance now and confess your love to her, I swear I will". Obviously Steve didn’t mean it, he was just teasing him, yet Eddie snapped at him, frowning his thin eyebrows. "What about the rulers?" "Let them watch, but get her out of that pompous Jason’s arms, now or never". Without being told twice, he descended the high steps of the pedestal, trying to walk with confidence. The heart had begun to beat madly, making space among the dancers and nobles. The closer he got to his beloved, the more courage alternated between ascent and descent.

"Excuse me.. or maybe not?" Eddie’s arms wrapped around Y/N’s waist, making her do a spin. Jason’s face darkened, realizing that his prize had been taken away. Eddie replied with a grin. Suddenly he felt floating on a cloud, dancing among the Y/N present, moving away from Jason’s presence. They danced awkwardly, not caring for the possible eyes that had landed on them.

"My hero," the princess joked, whose hands rested on the shoulders of the knight. "I could not but save you. You were a damsel in distress". Meanwhile, the people continued their dances. Eddie was pleased with the laughter and songs that overcame the volume of his voice because what he was going to say would be extremely embarrassing or… Who knows. It would have been fine. Steve’s words echoed back in his head: now or never.

He tightened his grip on the princess'waist, looking into her eyes. This evening she was indeed a diamond. He opened and closed his mouth. Everything he had tried in the mirror before a mission, before bedtime, was now as if he didn’t know what to say. Where to start. He seemed to have forgotten everything.

"I love you".

He cursed himself silently. Eddie looked away, looking for a way out, but found none. It seemed that in any direction the face of his beloved appeared. Like a feverish dream. "How long?". With courage, Eddie moved his eyes to her face and could see her eyes slightly widened with surprise and the cheeks tinged with that redness he adored.

"Since I defended your honor from that mad madman Craver". The princess laughed. In the middle of the dance, laughter grew louder and louder and the music accelerated, just like the hearts of the two lovers. Suddenly the feet of Edward stopped and so also Y/N, the look confused but full of curiosity.

"I need to feel your lips on mine" the man confessed tenderly, "may I, my lady?" The princess knew that it was what she had long desired, and so, nodding, their fingers intertwined gently, while Edward with his other hand resting on her cheek kissed her.

He kissed her with all the affection that he felt and with all the desire that had kept him alive in these months. He mentally remembered that he should thank Steve, He thanked the princess, his friend and lover, for being so kind to him as no one had ever been before. Maybe he thanked those divine beings, the gods, for having given him a second chance, redemption to show the world who he really was: only a poor man with strong and playful appearance, but in need of love, taken away from his first whimpers since he was a newborn.

He kissed a second, third, fourth time the woman who held close to him, enjoying the delicate taste that felt on his lips and letting himself be embraced by the heat that her body emanated against his. In the background, laughter and dancing continued to enliven the room. Much later, the rulers became suspicious of the disappearance of their benevolent daughter. There was nothing to worry about, Steve reassured them, for he had seen Edward escort the princess into his chambers, accompanied by the other court ladies and acquaintances. Not that it was entirely true: the two lovers were busy making love at the time, filling the room with moaning, unfolded sheets under their bodies while Edward rocked his hips sensually, slowly inside of her, savouring the moment.

The princess couldn’t help but think of him, him, only him, and how she had never felt such a feeling. To a pleasure that even the gods themselves could not grant.

They would be occupied all night.

[lemonthesh4rk]

Have you noticed who's NOT in the Misadventures crypts?

Okay so I know we've all been crying and mourning the canonized deaths of all the emperors in empires smp, but have you noticed that like, not everyone is there??

Here's a list of all the ppl in the crypts (as far as I've seen there could be more and i could be forgetting a few)

Pearl s1 - "The Goddess"

Fwhip s1 - "The Tinkerer"

Fwhip s2 - "The Goblin"

Gem s1 - "The Wizard"

Gem s2 - "The Dawn Princess"

Jimmy s1 - "The Codfish Boy"

Jimmy s2 - "The Sheriff"

Shubble s1 - "The Gnome"

Shubble s2 - "The Witch of Evermore"

Katherine s1 - "The Sheep Queen"

Ren for some reason??? - "The Red King"

Katherine s1 - "The Sheep Queen"

Joey s1 - "Ruler of the Lost Empire"

Joey s2 - "The Pirate King"

Pix s1 - "The King of Copper"

Pix s2 - "The Archeologist"

Joel s1 - "The Mezalean King"

Joel s2 - "The God of Thunder"

Lizzie s1 - "The Queen of the Ocean"

Lizzie s2 - "The Mayor of Animailia"

Scott s1 - "The Elvish Emperor"

Oli s2 - "The Bard"

Now this is probably just because Sausage (since he made it) had limited space or he was just picking emperors that were played by people participating in Misadventures as a fun little easter egg for them

BUT IN THE LORE-

Okay before I start to ramble I want to clarify some more things, the list above is just a list of people who had names on their crypts/were named in their "boss" battle (those being Shubble s1, Katherine s1, and Joey s2, as ppl who became individual bosses/enemies for the person running the crypt to fight). That being said, there is also a phase in the crypt where you have to kill several skeleton sheep, and in his episode Sausage refers the them as Blood Sheep, there is also a larger tomb labeled "The King", where the players can bring raw gold to get more dungeon loot. I'm going to infer through these two references that Sausage s1 aka the Mythland King is also in the Crypt.

Also Pearl s1, Gem s1, and Fwhip s1 all had their tombs in the same room as the "The King"'s crypt, so that is probably a room dedicated to the Wither Rose Alliance, further proving that Mythland Sausage is probably "The King".

Although she does not have a labeled tomb, False from s2 is also likely buried in the crypt, as by looking at Lizzie's mc skin history she has several recent skins with skull heads, likely used as decoration for the dungeon, one of which has False's goggles on it. (in case you're curious the other skull skins were Oli s2 (had his hat), Pix s1 (had his crown), Joey s2 (had his hat), and a 4th one that has some sort of markings on the side which i'm choosing to interpret as axolotl gills for Lizzie s1 although it's not quite clear)

Okay future me here she does have a labeled tomb it's called "Emperor of Cogsmeade" it just hadn't been shown in any of the youtube povs I watched

There is also another few crypts, those being "The Withered Man", "The Vampire", "The Protector" (which might be katherine s2?), and "The Warrior" (and the Warrior's Companion so I don't think that's Katherine as she didn't really have a dog)

So here's the list of emperors who were NOT in the crypts based on everything we've gathered;

Katherine s2

Scott s2

Sausage s2

The majority of this list is s2, which makes some sense

But I think that raises another question

How are Pearl and Sausage from s1 in the Misadventures crypts?

Pix in s2 discovered their tombs in the catacombs in empires s2

It's very possible that they were moved, but STILL

so uh yeah

just something i noticed

This post has been edited as I did leave out some ppl mb

[miscfandomwrites]

Royal advisors! 141 x Newly Queened! Reader

You were crowed early. Really early. Most Kings and Queens are in their late thirties and forties when they are crowned, but you unfortunately took the throne at 27 years old. Your mother died while you were just a babe, giving birth to you, and your father never seemed to truly get over it, always blaming you for it and it left you with no real connection to him.

So when he suddenly is killed while he is out traveling to another Kingdom, you're barely given three days to mourn before his royal advisor comes to you, voice soft as he spoke, "My Lady...I do know this is a very difficult time however we need to start talking about your coronation."

Within the week you're being coronated- after all, you can't leave a kingdom without a ruler. By the end of that day you're told you have several diplomatic meetings coming up, and you have no idea what they are or how to act in them. This leads you to seek out several people-

Your father's royal advisor, Sir Kyle Garrick, who kept in touch with the couriers and the various happening throught not only the kingdom but the surrounding ones, keeping the King updated with the comings and goings of the royals and anything interesting going on in the letters or kingdom.

Sir Jonathan Price, your father's personal guard who unfortunately was with him the night your father passed-but he was one of the best soldiers in the kingdom, in the end of it, you had no choice but to seek him out. He was now the Head of the Royal Guard, training soldiers and going over battle plans and old war history, trying to gain and edge he wasn't sure he had.

Sir John MacTavish, who was one of the handful that had gone into the battle of Two Holds and had returned-holding up the letters in which the other kingdoms were found implicit in illegal human trafficking. Those letters were only rumored to exist, so when they were given to you father he had right idea to crown him as Knight MacTavish, who remained on his personal guard-and advisors-until his death. Unlike Sir Johnathan however, he had previously taken an arrow to the ear before the trip so he did not attend the slaughter of the king.

You did not know why it was called the 'slaughter of the king' and you were unsure if you should find out.

And the last one- Sir Simon Riley but known mainly by his war name of Ghost. You've only seen him around the castle less than a handful of times, and all of those were when he was coming back to your father carrying someone's head. In the case of the the battle of Two Holds-he came back with the warring kings head and his crown.

You shivered. You hated the sight of blood, you didn't know why, but on some deep, primal level it made your skin crawl and breath shorten. Your handmaiden said it was likely just a reflex of your body but you knew better. Knew there had to be a reason.

You summoned them all together, meeting with Sir Kyle to create your own meeting in one of the the many meeting rooms with large tables in the castle.

Dressed in just a pair of simple trousers and a tunic, sturdy boots that you haven't broken in yet, you opened the doors with your faithful handmaiden, Morgana, at your side.

All but Sir Simon bowed as you entered, you didn't bother taking offense to it, he didn't know you so he had no reason to respect you and there were much, much more important things at hand.

"It is no suprise I've gathered you all here today-and that is because I cannot rule this kingdom alone. Father did not allow me to know the history behind the sieges or battles as far as the wars go, he did not allow me to learn about are trade access-Hell, he did his damn best to make sure I would not be a worthy heir. However....I am his only heir. I come to ask for knowlege, and for all of you to be granted as my personal advisors so you may help me run this kingdom in the best possible way...and to win the oncoming battles and wars."

Sir Johnathan blinked. He'd seen you around the castle, sure, but thought you were a reclusive child, and now realized the king-former king had purposely hidden you away so you were not taught or raised like an proper heir to the throne.

He cleared his throught. "My Queen....I do belive I speak for all the men in this room when I say we'd be honored." He had purposely sought out the others the day after your coronation due to the fact he had a hunch this would be someone you might do. You were a smart women, which meant you'd make a smart queen.

The others nodded as you each looked at them, seeking signs of any issues.

Finding none you nodded. "I have next to no knowlege of well, anything related to being a a Queen, so please forgive me if I mess something up or do no behave in a 'Queenly' way. I know there is unrest within the kingdom and within these very walls- let us take care of that first, then we will start on the other Kingdoms." With that, you turned and walked back out, pausing just outside with Morgana.

"They didn't teach her anything?!"

"Her father still-used to-blame her for her mother's death. He has never gotten over it so thus he does not trust or want to be be near her. The only reason she wasn't sent away was because I told him it would put his crown at risk."

"Bloody fool. Even kings fall."