#he accidentally made this imperfect time loop

[ghostreblogging]

GODDAMNIT UNHOLY inspiration STRIKES ME AGAAIN

Tim had just met Danny but it was like they were meant for one another . Well they are soulmates, but it was like he knew him for decades much less few months.

Danny was kind and affectionate. Albiet ever fretful and worrywart. He often tried to protect him from the smallest of things. And when he asks he just gets a sad chuckle and Danny says " you may never know"Y̶o̷u̸ ̴m̴a̸y̷ ̴n̵e̵v̶e̴r̵ ̶k̴n̷o̶w̷.̸ ̸W̶h̵a̸t̸ ̶h̸a̸p̵p̷e̶n̷s̸

Tim walks with Danny by his side. Danny is going to meet his family now. He can't help but be nervous. B̵l̷o̶o̵d̸?̴ ̴T̵h̶e̷r̵e̶ ̵s̶h̴o̸u̵l̷d̴n̸'̶t̵ ̸b̸e̷-̵

Danny smiles at him reassuringly, it feels like it happened before.

And everything went well. He dropped off Danny at his apartment. And he went on patrol, everything was good.

I̴̹͛t̷̝̓ ̷͈͐͛ẅ̵͙͙͝a̸̘͎̋š̵̲̟͝ ̵͇͙̀̃ā̶̭̞̉ ̴̡̮̀s̸͇̽ù̸̗̽r̵̼̍p̴̖̜̐̋r̷̫̯͊͗i̶̝̩͋̈s̶̞̾e̴̗̞͗͘ ̸̘̇́ă̸̢̺͐t̷̞̀̈́ͅt̸̞͋̇a̴̜̓͜c̷̹͜͝k̷̪̺̈́ ̸̤̉́b̵̟̎͝y̵͓͛́ ̵͙̽̆Ä̷̠́͐ň̴͚͝ ̸̡̃u̷̻̾̊ň̴̬̦̎k̶̭̄̎ṅ̷̨o̵̘͈͂w̶̖͓͆̽n̵͒̍ͅV̸̜̲̏į̴̝̑͊l̷̥̝͋l̴̰͑a̶̞͂i̸̝̱̅̊ṇ̸͝ NJ.̵̲͗ ̸̯̀N̸̪̦͛̓ȍ̶͔̓b̸͉͎̿̚o̵͔̅d̷̬͚͋̑ỳ̷̡̩̎ ̶̬͙͑e̷̮̤͝x̸͙̉͝p̷͕͇͋ë̸̹c̵̦͛ț̸͠e̵̝̿͘ͅd̴̤̳̾͝ ̷̡͘͝ì̶̗̭̑ţ̶̱͊͠ ̷͇̤̋̔B̶̢̺̏u̸̜͛͛t̵̠̓̑ ̷̧͕͗h̶͚͘ḙ̸̭̉̀ ̶̼̰̃̐s̶̭͐h̴̞̊̉o̸͎̥̿u̶̙̓l̵̦̝̂d̷̺̳͝ ̴̠̪̿h̷̘̠͌ą̶̳̃͝v̸͚̑ę̴̋̿ ̸̼͍́̌ś̸̞u̷̪͒̚r̶͙͌v̶̱͉̿i̵͓̓v̶̻̿̕e̵̺͂̚d̶̟̞̒́ ̷̭̰̅̌i̵̡̲̋f̷̦͉̋̐ ̴͒ͅį̴̍t̸̟͋ ̴̞̐w̵̖͙̉̉e̵̡͖͒̆r̴̍ͅe̴̜͚̓́n̸̤̄'̷̫̥́́ṯ̵̋̐ ̶̼́͘f̴̠̈o̴̪͐̋r̷̖̙͋ ̴̙̆̈t̸͇̺̚h̵̫̓e̴̜͉̎ ̴͉̳̑̀c̴͉̈́͋ĺ̵̡͚ö̴̢́̆w̴̧̰̄n̶̺̈́

E̴̠͈̚v̶̟̼͋́e̵̞͛n̴͔͚̉͌ ̷̬̈́i̷̡̥̐̕n̵̼̘̐d̸̢̉i̷̜̳̔̌r̶̡̛͚͝è̵̼̩̈́c̵̩̹͝ť̸͇̕ ̷̖̈́.À̴̳̱͌ ̷͎̓̕s̸̙̫̈́̂e̷̻̫̍̋c̷̛͇̘o̸͙͉̊̐ǹ̷̬d̶̤͖̓̓ ̵̼̓̉k̵̮͒͠ī̷͜͝l̷̺̥̓͑l̷̲̓̾ẻ̶̠͍d̷͉̟̂ ̸̦̓̍b̷̜͎̄ÿ̵̖́̽ ̵̳̀͂t̷̛̲̖ḧ̸̞̕å̶̛̜̪t̶̠̽ ̶̛͕͘c̷̹̯͑͘l̴͓͝ó̵͉̭͌w̶̞̣̐͝n̶̥͍͒ ̸͙̻̇w̷̘̣͑̊o̸̲̲͌u̴͚̔̉l̷͖̟̃ḏ̷͠ ̶̘̀͝t̷̢̙̾̀h̵̙͐e̶̲͐̃ŕ̶̰̼e̴̞̽ ̶͓͒ḃ̸̘̋e̸̥͕͑̇ ̸̬̏́ą̸̛̀ ̵͎͕̌̑t̵̝̉h̴͚̏͂i̸̩̹͠r̶̢̃d̴̤̤̍͝?̶̪͗̚

His body filled with terror. And he was able to dodge the swing. She had eyes Green like the Lazarus. She looked gaunt her face pale and inhuman.

He knew it happened before . He saw this before . But he didn't anticipate the second strike.

He was now trapped under concrete. The new villain had deemed it appropriate for him to die in a burning building.

He choked on his own blood.

And Danny sat by him. Wait Danny? No he shouldn't be here. He should be safe-

Danny picked him up. "W̵͚͚͌e̶̱̯̍ ̴̼̌d̵̢̾̅ḭ̷̎͋ḏ̸̇̑ ̶̠̏t̴͙̗̔h̸̬̘̒͌ȉ̵͓͎̀s̸͓̏ ̴͈̈́̚s̵̠̒̾o̴̡̙̾n̴̬̗͌͆g̸̩̺̋ ̷͇͇̋̀á̴͇̳ṅ̸̬͎̏d̴̮̕ ̶̧̀̇d̵̘̾ǎ̵̯̬n̶͕͈͆c̴̰̆ë̴̩͎́̊ ̴̫͓̚à̵̺̙̏ ̵̛̺̘̌ḩ̴͆̔ụ̴̄n̴̢̖̒̓d̷̡̦̈́̿r̴̻̩͆̀ȇ̷̩̑d̷͙̟̐ ̷̻̃t̴̓͑ͅi̸̬͌̈́m̵̯̔̓ͅē̸͙s̴̤͓̏̀ ̷͙̆a̷̜͒̽r̶͉͈͐̔l̵̗͛ę̶̟̂͝ầ̷̰d̷̛͙ȳ̸̟̰͝ ̷̪͔̓͠ and n̵̖͐o̴̠̅̓t̶̠̂h̶̘̘̓͑ḯ̶̧n̸̖̥̋͠g̴̞̑͊ ̶̗̎w̶̜͓͂͛o̸̯͎̚r̸̼̫̊͌ḱ̶͇͙͝s̶͕͌͝" a tear ran down Danny's cheek.

"H̶̦͑o̷̟̖̊͠w̴͔̩͒ ̷̤͌͜m̷͉͎͐ú̴̞̮c̵̯̊͗h̵͇͂ ̸̡̯̎̅l̷͔͊͐ȯ̸͈͚n̸̰͐g̵̲͙̈̇e̶̯̓r̶̤̭͛̄ ̶̻̀d̴͎̋o̵̧̤͛ ̴͎̽̀y̴͕͓̕o̷͙͊͋ṳ̵͔͑ ̶̡̂p̴͙̃͑l̵̨̍͐a̷̱͛n̴͉̟̒ ̷͕̘͛̾t̴̨͓̿ò̶͙̰ ̵͔̑̿t̶̝̩͐o̷̮̕r̸͎̎̚ṱ̵̌û̷̦̳r̸͖̊ē̵͎̭̂ ̵͖́m̶̢͠é̵͇̓!̷̺̝͋͝"

"E̵v̷e̶r̶y̶t̵h̶i̶n̷g̷ ̸I̷ do y̸o̵u̷ ̶f̷i̵n̶d̶ ̵a̴ ̶w̷a̵y̶ ̴t̵o̶ ̴r̵u̴i̸n̶ ̴a̵n̶d̷ ̵y̷o̵u̵ ̵k̶i̴l̴l̶ ̸h̴i̵m̷ ̷a̶g̸a̸i̶n̷ ̷a̵n̶d̴ ̷a̸g̸a̴i̸n̴" Danny screams. Danny protected him and his family before, many times.

"I̸t̶'̸s̶ ̷b̸e̸c̴a̶u̸s̵e̴ ̵y̴o̶u̶ ̷m̷y̵ ̵h̵i̷g̴h̴n̵e̸s̶s̸ ̵k̶e̴e̸p̷ ̶o̷n̴ ̷i̶n̷s̷i̸s̷t̵i̸n̸g̷ ̵t̴h̶i̵s̷ ̴m̵o̸r̸t̴a̸l̵ ̶b̵e̵ ̵y̸o̸u̸r̸ ̵b̶e̷l̷o̵v̵e̸d̸.̷ ̸I̶ ̸w̸o̸u̶l̶d̵ ̸b̸e̵ ̶g̸l̸a̶d̷ ̵t̸o̴ ̶l̵e̶a̶v̸e̸ ̴t̶h̴e̴m̶ ̴b̵e̸ ̷i̴f̷ ̷y̸o̵u̵ j̷u̴s̴t̵ ̷s̷t̴o̶p̷ ̴. t̷h̷e̵i̴r̶ ̸a̷g̵o̵n̸y̵ ̸i̶s̸ ̵i̶n̷ ̸y̷o̶u̷r̶ ̶h̷a̸n̶d̵s̶"

B̶e̸s̷i̶d̴e̷s̷ ̷y̶o̴u̶ ̴a̸r̶e̷ ̸t̶h̷e̸ ̴o̵n̷e̷ ̸c̷o̶n̷t̶r̶o̷l̷l̵i̶n̵g̴ ̸t̷h̶e̷s̷e̶ ̶t̷i̸m̵e̷ ̵l̸o̴o̶p̸s̷

̷ ̸Shall ̸u̶s̵ ̶d̴o̶ ̵t̸h̷i̶s̸ ̶a̴g̴a̷i̶n̵ ̸f̸r̴o̶m̶ ̸t̷h̷e̸ ̶t̴o̸p̵?̴

"Hey! My name is Danny. Could you point me to a coffee shop?"

[mark-of-chrysus]

#7

Daniel wasn't born invincible, although most people wouldn't be able to tell you that. Even in the first loop, he had first crawled through the filth before reaching the top. But it hadn't been enough. This is why, in every loop after that one, for at least a few dozen of them he had approached people like Gun, Goo, and Diego to teach him. Some were harder to convince than others and some would downright refuse to teach him until he found a way to prove to them he was worthy. He had to do things that he didn't dare to remember some days.

He remembered the first time he was made to kill.

His second loop, Gun had been much crueler than he usually was. He made his two masterpieces fight to the death, just for the sake of it. Daniel orphaned a little girl that day. He couldn't bare to look in the mirror for weeks, but he pushed on. He needed to be stronger! So, the boy-turned-killer gritted his teeth and force-fed himself sleeping pills every night.

The second time he killed it came much easier.

Perhaps because he was still reeling from the first one. It was only a few weeks after Eli's blood had covered his hands that another lay before him with his neck broken. It had been so easy it was gut-churning, like breaking a particularly tough twig. He emptied the contents of his stomach in a bush nearby, but couldn't find it in himself to regret it very much. It was horrifying to realize he regretted getting caught and ending up in juvie more than killing Zoe's stalker.

The third time's the charm, right? It wasn't.

That night he stumbled into a bar and drank himself into obliviousness to forget the feeling of a too-small boy beneath the tips of his fingers. He had killed a kid, not much younger than himself, a year at maximum, but a kid! The feeling of bile rising in his throat hadn't left him for the entire loop. When he woke up he was in a cell, with policemen looking down at him with a mix of disgust and horror. They regarded him as a monster, and Daniel deserved it. It didn't take long to get a confession out of him and back to juvie he went. It didn't matter, the phantom touch lingering whenever he clutched his fist was still there.

When the fourth came he still cried.

By the time of the fifth, he lost his appetite completely.

The sixth came with mandatory visits to the therapist's office.

The seventh brought on a new therapist and sturdier cuffs.

It helped, incredibly. There was no more killing in that loop, and the couple that followed.

The eight was accidental, and it left Daniel screaming and crying, and vomiting hysterically. He wasn't locked up for that one, but he somehow found his way back to the therapist's office. The first one he tried had left him with a bitter taste on his tongue. The second one knew exactly which buttons to push. It was a miracle Daniel didn't end up with a ninth corpse to the ever-growing pile attached to his name.

Finally, after a lot of breakdowns and unhelpful psychologists, Danny ended up meeting a nice lady by the name of Robin Lim, who managed, with an amount of ungodly patience and calm, to get through to him. It wasn't a sudden catharsis that left him feeling the office a thousand tons lighter, but it was like the steady flow of a stream, growing quicker and bigger every day until he could finally breathe without feeling like he was choking on air.

Robin remained Daniel's therapist for over eight loops until he finally came to terms with what he had and most likely would again do. He managed to establish a system of what to do when it happened again and how to manage his inner turmoil so that it didn't spill into something dangerous, either for himself or others.

While the looping had the effect of twisting his morals to the extreme sometimes, Daniel was always careful to keep a grip on his emotions and try to use the techniques Robin had taught him to regulate those that could become a threat. It wasn't perfect (the seemingly, only imperfect thing about him now), but it worked and it made him view the world in another light.

It was both surprising and not that he now understood Jinho, to a certain level. He knew what it felt like to be given a ray of light and not manage to cling to it no matter how hard he struggled. He had been pathetic and weak and selfish in a way that made him both better and so much worse than the scrawny boy. Better because he had learned from it and strived to make himself the best possible version despite his worries, insecurities, paranoia, and tilted moral compass. Worse because, unlike Jinho, he had succeeded and killed people to further his own selfish goals.

At the end of the day, the imperfect-perfect boy remained a human, one who struggled and hurt and cried. As long as he kept a tight leash on the part of him that could make others struggle and hurt and cry (and even worse) he kept going, trying to find a way to end the cycle and keep the people he loved safe.

Even if that meant entire loops-worth of counseling and breakdowns, he would do it. For those he cherished? Anything.

[redorich]

Hello! Can we get a little something for the hermit canyon AU? I was thinking something Karl centered, maybe they accidentally find his library or otherwise find out about his "travels". They're probably invisible for the whole thing, but do they do anything afterwards? Do they leave little notes and reminders? Would they try to help at all? Or would they push it to the back of their minds and try to forget about it?

Unlike most discoveries made by Hermits, Joe does not find a secret location on a normal surface run. When Etho found the Pogtopia ravine, it was a mystery to him, unsettling and vivid. When Grian found Technoblade's snowy cabin, it was on complete accident, just because Grian needed to explore, to get out of the canyon for a few hours.

When Joe exits the canyon, as he rarely does, he makes a beeline for Karl's library. Time is... not something Joe concerns himself with, but he prefers to constrict himself to the linear travel of the fourth dimension nowadays-- if such a thing as "nowadays" can be said to exist when tangling with time.

Where was he? Ah, yes. He moves quickly, because he dislikes spending more time away from Xisuma's side than absolutely necessary, even if the admin has been having a run of good health days and there are twenty-two other Hermits to attend to the admin in an emergency. He doesn't bother with invisibility, or walking, or other mundane things. Joe simply hovers in the air, flying toward his destination and perhaps fiddling with the tick speed just a little, just enough to get him there faster.

There's a residual feeling of familiarity, like a relationship with an ex-girlfriend which has long since turned sour, near the canyon. There's a whisper there of magic, of gleaming white spires, but all Joe can see is red.

"It's a shame, what they did to this library," Joe mutters with a tsk. Posters of hazy LSD-esque drawings of various time periods and locations line the walls, molding away as red vines climb on them, devour them.

He shrugs. Might as well move on; nothing of value remains here.

To the south is a place Etho has visited only briefly and in passing: Kinoko Kingdom. It's a hotspot of activity at times, and a ghost town at others. Etho didn't even know the name of the place until Puffy reported it. Joe doesn't care. For all that Etho likes to present himself as a cryptid, scaring poor innocent wood-dwelling folk who are just looking for a big fuzzy triclopean spouse, Joe is the one with experience as a cryptid. Let them see him. What are they going to say, "I saw Herobrine"?

He touches down, finally, in front of another library made from mushrooms and wood. Allowing his eyes to flash white for a moment so that he can ferret out the building's secret room, he is both disappointed and unsurprised to see it empty of life. Karl Jacobs, resident time traveller, is not there.

Joe closes his eyes. He doesn't want to have to do this. For decades, there was a place he called home, a place he built from the ground up. It was a place in between life and death, and so he called it the Inbetween.

He opens his eyes, and he is there. It's like walking down a street you've been down a hundred thousand times before; even with your eyes closed, you know where you're going. There are no longer dozens of imperfect copies of himself running around, brainless and waiting to be culled like lambs to the slaughter in order to fuel an affront against nature. Now, there are many iterations of Karl, all wandering aimlessly... save one.

The only version of Karl wearing color stands in an open-air corridor near the courtyard. Even from a distance, Joe can see his chest rise and fall far too rapidly for him to actually be getting any air. (Joe sees everything here, where his eyes are white and cannot be anything but white.)

"Why am I here?" Karl babbles to himself. "I haven't time-travelled-- or did I already forget?"

"You didn't forget," Joe reassures him. It does not have the intended effect.

Karl screams, turning around so quickly that he falls on his ass. He scoots away like a crab missing a leg, scrambling for some distance. "Your eyes--!"

"Come closer," Joe says. "I won't hurt you."

"You're Herobrine!"

Joe exhales slowly. "I was Herobrine. What I am is the only person who can help you."

Karl warily clambers to his feet. None of the other Karls dressed in white pay the two men any mind. "What do you mean?"

"You've got yourself stuck in a dimensional loop of Homestuck proportions, Karl," Joe says. "So did I, when I built this place. It took me decades to figure out how to get out of it, and I knew what I was doing. You don't have that."

"Am I stuck here forever, then?" Karl says mournfully. He waves a hand at the carefree automatons wearing his face. "Will I become one of them?"

Joe takes a few slow steps closer, keeping his hands where the stressed-out time traveller can see them. "I'll take care of things on this end. You won't ever have to come back here again."

Karl sags in relief like a marionette with its strings cut.

"Does the name Eret mean anything to you?" Joe asks. It's a name he's heard from Puffy's lips once or twice, and if her information holds true, things could get much easier.

Karl blinks. "Uh... Yeah? What about them?"

Joe continues. "Dark hair, tall, white eyes like mine?"

"I've never seen Eret without their sunglasses, but I guess, yeah," Karl replies. Of all the things he would have expected Herobrine to ask about, Eret isn't one of them.

"Imagine what Eret looks like," Joe suggests. "Think real hard about them. Imagine them here, in the Inbetween, right in front of us."

Karl has no idea why Herobrine wants him to daydream about Eret (even if their voice is very nice), but if the man is pulling his leg, well-- it's fucking Herobrine, he can do what he wants.

Speaking of that nice voice, Karl hears the voice in question scream out of nowhere. Karl flinches away from the sudden loud noise, before his eyes catch up to his brain and he realizes that he just magicked Eret into existence in the Inbetween.

"What the fuck," Eret says. "H-Herobrine, uh, long time no s-see..?"

"Sorry about that time I kinda tortured you," Herobrine says brightly. "I'm nicer now."

"I doubt--" Eret begins caustically, then remembers exactly who they're talking to and shuts their mouth. "...Why is everything so dark?"

"Take off your sunglasses," Herobrine suggests.

Eret grimaces, but obeys. This place is practically humming with magic, so they just know they're going to get blinded by it the moment they remove their glasses, but they remember what happened last time they pissed Herobrine off.

Wincing, they remove the sunglasses, expecting pain and receiving... nothing. The glint of light on quartz is a bit uncomfortable, but that's a normal human uncomfortable that Eret hasn't experienced since they were a teenager.

Herobrine smacks them on the forehead with his palm. "I take back what I said about 'living with this power for the rest of your life', and all that," he says. "You can turn 'em off now. I'd recommend not turning those eyes back on, though-- at least, not here. It's a little bright, magic-wise."

Eret gapes. All these years, they feared the day they'd meet this powerful man again, imagined what they'd say as they cursed his name or begged his forgiveness... and here he is, giving them exactly what they desperately hoped for but knew they'd never receive simply because he's 'nicer now'.

"Herobrine," Eret says, "why have you done this?"

"Call me Joe," Herobrine says.

Karl interjects, "Joe mama," under his breath. It is with the utmost shock on Eret's behalf that Karl does not in fact get immediately smited into oblivion, merely smacked on the forehead.

"Now you won't forget," Herobrine-- Joe says. "Anyway, I have shenanigans to be up to back in the canyon, so I'll send y'all back now. Those red vines are bad news, and so is their egg, so y'all better take care of that, please. It's really messing your server up."

Karl blanches. "The canyon?"

"Oh, look at the time. Have fun, be safe, bye," Joe says with affected mild disinterest.

Both Karl and Eret have so much to say, so many questions to ask, but they fade away before they get the chance.

[not-majestic-bluenicorn]

TXT Universe Theory: The Dream Chapter

Hello and welcome back to another one of my theories! This theory will be quite long and will take into account everything in the first chapter of TXT’s story. I won’t be doing Minisode 1 or either of the Chaos Chapters yet cause it will give us all a headache if I do, so yes, there will be things missing. Believe me, I know, I’m just pretending like I don’t know anything for the sake of my mind XD Let’s dive into the theory!

The Protagonists

Name: Choi Yeonjun

Keywords: Promise, guilty, sleepless, apricity 

Association: Paranoid Park

Metamorphosis: Horns

Songs: Crown, Magic Island

Yeonjun is, perhaps, more relevant than his character wishes he was. Paranoid Park, the book (and perhaps also movie) he’s associated with, talks about a 16-year-old boy who accidentally kills a policeman and tries to cope with it while simultaneously hiding what he did. Yeonjun’s guilt can be seen almost everywhere. His Dream-Self grows horns during Nap of a Star, which are generally associated with evil and destruction, and in Crown he expresses his fear of being evil.

In the teasers for Magic Island he says “I think there’s someone else aside from us #itsmyfault”. And in the teasers for The Dream Chapter: Eternity he adds the hashtags #imscared #itwasjustajoke when revealing his association. He did something that makes him feel guilty. He possibly didn’t kill anyone (I mean, if anyone did, it’s most likely Beomgyu, but that’s not here nor there), but it hasn’t been revealed yet what he did do.

I associate Magic Island with him because it talks about promises and about the Odd Eye Cat, which I will talk about more in detail later, but suffice to say the Odd Eye Cat might have something against Yeonjun. There is a small chance that Yeonjun feels guilty about having forgotten their promise with the Star, since his word is promise. Everyone forgot, but maybe he’s more emotionally aware of it.

Name: Choi Soobin

Keywords: Tomorrow, invisible, understanding, apricity

Association: Le Doulos

Metamorphosis: Elongated ears

Songs: Eternally

Soobin is on the opposite side of the coin with Yeonjun. He too is aware about the promise with the Star, but in a very different way. He is perhaps what we would define as a traditional protagonist, as he can hear the voice of the Star well before anyone else can, even if he can’t remember the promise. The first time we see him perceiving the voice is in Magic Island, that is when he starts to feel separated from the group. He’s still unaware of it, but he knows something that the others don’t and that puts a wall between them. In the Magic Island teaser he uses the hashtag “#IThinkImTheOnlyOneWhosDifferent”, and in the Eternity concept photos he says “Why am I the only one having a hard time?” and “Everything is your fault”. He is also tagged as invisible, which alludes to the fact that he feels distanced from the others, and is also the only one to get no interactions on his posts. The fact that he’s blaming someone might be that he’s aware of the voice or that he knows someone in the group messed up.

Name: Choi Beomgyu

Keywords: Hope, unfair, relief, serenity

Association: The Catcher in the Rye

Metamorphosis: Spines on the back

Songs: ???

Beomgyu is an interesting if confusing character. Based on how he acts in the MVs, he seems to be rather headstrong and confident, much like the main character, Holden, of Catcher in the Rye, a story strongly related to growing up and leaving the innocence of childhood behind. Holden considers adults (and his life) to be quite unfair, doesn’t trust them, and wants to become a protector of the innocence of other children. However, much like Beomgyu, he’s rather headstrong and careless, moving forward without much consideration, which often gets him in trouble. These aspects can be seen reflected on the Magic Island Teaser, where he writes “What’s the problem? Let’s just do it. #rewind #hope #CantTrustAnyone, as well as the Port teasers from Eternity where he says things like “Who saw me that day?”, “We were all together then, right?” and “I don’t think this is the world I used to know” (which is tagged with “unfair”), and uses the hashtags #NothingToHide, #IsItMyFault?”. We do see him start the fire in both the Magic Island Teaser and MV, which might hint to the fact that he feels it’s unfair to blame him when they were all there, and he doesn’t actually believe himself to be at fault. He was just taking care of them.

Name: Kang Taehyun

Keywords: Clue, suspicious, breathe, serenity

Association: Philip Marlowe

Metamorphosis: Star eye

Songs: ???

Taehyun’s character is observant and prefers to stay on the sidelines to catch every detail before casting his judgement. In the Magic Island Teaser he says “There’s got to be a way out” with the hashtag #LetsThinkAboutIt, plus, in the Port Teasers from Eternity, he keeps a reasonable suspicion on his team members about who’s truly at fault and uses the hashtags #EverybodyLies and #IWantToKnowTheTruth. This ties in well with his associated character, Philip Marlowe, the private detective. Both characters keep a distance and analyze everything carefully, never resorting to violence. It is worth noting that he keeps Yeonjun’s teddy bear at the end of Run Away, which in the teasers is labelled as “clue”. Taehyun is always observing.

Name: Huening Kai

Keywords: Secret, lonely, longing, apricity

Association: Stand by me

Metamorphosis: Wings

Songs: Nap of a star

Huening Kai is perhaps one of the most complicated and mysterious characters in the story, since his role isn’t as established as the others. He’s constantly out of the loop about the situation that is happening, which is demonstrated by phrases like “What the hell is happening?” (Magic Island Teaser) and “What happened?” (‘Port’ Teasers) as well as the hashtags #OnTheSidelines and #IKnowNothing, as well as two of his keywords being secret and lonely. His associated media is also interesting, as Stand by me talks about a man remembering the trip he did with three of his friends when they were 12 to find the body of a missing boy. At the end of the movie, the main character Gordie, recalls his friends and comments on how much he’ll always miss them and how he’s never had friendships like that again. This raises the question if perhaps one of the boys would be the dead kid the others are trying to find. Kai being kept out of the loop could point to him being it, as he’s always trying to reach for them but can’t quite do it, however it could also be argued that either Yeonjun or Soobin could fill that space as well.

The Setting: The Real World vs The Dream World

Back on the very early BTS theories, a lot of us didn’t think time travel or time loops were the answer, but it turned out we were wrong. At first, when working on this theory, I wasn’t sure where I should draw the distinction between reality and fantasy. In the end, I’ve decided that everything is real but in different ways, and I’ve decided to make the distinction between the Real World and the Dream World; after all, this is called the Dream Chapter.

The Real World is, you guessed it, pretty much just our normal world. Nothing magical or physics-law-breaking to be seen here. The Dream World is, well, a world made of dreams. But remember I said everything is real (I know the names I gave the two realities contradict this, hit me up if you have better suggestions). Whatever happens in the Dream World is just as real as whatever happens in the Real World, it’s just in a different plane of existence. It might also be of interest to note that sometimes these worlds blend. 

So, if everything is real in the Dream World, what is real in the Real World? This is a complicated question because even our characters struggle telling reality apart from the dreams, especially because the dreams aren’t just dreams. The fires that occur in Run Away and Can’t You See Me are very much symbolic, but them jumping into the Dream World through the subway in Magic Island is real. The visions they have in Eternally aren’t happening in the Real World either. It’s just a matter of what is supported through other clues and pieces of evidence, which I’ll try to provide.

The Story

So, you know, what is like… happening? Everything is extremely confusing and it took me a while to understand that pretty much all videos are happening like, at the same time? As in, it’s the same event but from different perspectives and slightly different intervals of time. So let’s try to lay down a cohesive timeline.

It all starts with the events narrated in Nap of a Star. When they were children, the five of them (or well, maybe I should say six) met through the Dream world and became such good friends that they promised to meet there again. However, as it happens, they grew up and forgot about it, meeting once again many years later through the school and the company without remembering each other. 

While growing up, they have gone through many different things that have hurt and changed them, which manifested in their dream bodies as the “imperfections” that they all have. I believe these imperfections are tied to each of their characters: horns tend to represent evil, which ties in with Yeonjun feeling guilty and blaming himself for everything. Kai’s wings look angel-like, which fits his sweet personality who helps the “demon” (Yeonjun) and is always believing the best about his friends. Beomgyu is very defensive, which translates into his porcupine-like spines. Soobin is a good listener (plus he’s literally the first one to hear the Star’s voice) and Taehyun is good at observing the others. So these are all manifestations of how life has shaped them to be who they are now.

They become very good friends once again and get along well, nice! However, we know things are not perfect, and they have to confront a series of personal conflicts. Especially Yeonjun, who’s so overcome by the negativity in his life that he starts a fire that can’t be put out in Run Away. This fire is metaphorical, and represents all the pain and stress he’s been dealing with. So what do they do? They try to find an escape from all their troubles.

There’s two ways this could’ve happened: the first one is that they stumble with the Dream World by accident on the Run Away MV when they go in through the pool. This seems fitting because of their reactions. After that they research it and Soobin discovers that there’s a secret magical entrance at a train station, as we can see in the Sanctuary Photo Teasers from the Magic comeback in the official BigHit website. The other option is that this accidental discovery didn’t happen and they simply researched. This would turn their visit in Run Away into a “summary” of sorts of their first impression of the place.

[Translation:

Soobin: I saw how to find the hidden magic platform?

Soobin: When you close and open your eyes there, your dream becomes reality

Taehyun: Woah, cool

Taehyun: (not sure about this one) for real?

Soobin: Should we go together?]

Either way, they get there. Of course, as shown by the door being set on fire at the end of Run Away when Yeonjun looks at it, his worries aren’t entirely gone, but at least they’re under control now, or so it seems. This part of the video also ties in with the end of Nap of a Star. All of the children come together to help the “monster” and they reunite at the Dream World once again, awakening the Star.

After this, though, weird things begin to happen. Someone or something is trying to reach out to them, and causes them to have really strange dreams. This entity, presumably the Star as marked by the pieces of dialogue, even follows them to their practice room, and keeps begging them to remember them. Yes, I think the Practice Room Ghost and the Star are the same character (and I also think they represent MOA, in a way). 

[Translation: Remember my name.]

Here’s where the visions in Eternally come into play. The individual vision each of them has is, physically speaking, nothing more than that: a vision or dream. So they start having these visions, and some of them, especially Soobin who keeps hearing the Star’s voice, start doubting their reality. Plus, weird things start happening in their practice room, so no doubt they end up hearing about the Practice Room Ghost.

They have a conversation about it on the subway, and Soobin goes to mention he had a weird dream but then he backtracks. Obviously, he’s talking about the vision we see in Eternally, because he even says he always wakes up crying from it. In a split second, they decide to stop at the Magic Island using the method that Soobin found previously, and they go have fun there.

[Translation:

Yeonjun: Did you hear about the practice room’s mirror ghost?

Beomgyu: *sland for shivering* A ghost? Wow

Taehyun: I heard about it. There’s no ghosts, you’re just tired and saw wrong.

Soobin: I’ve had weird dreams lately *cries* Maybe it was because I’m tired...

Kai: Did you have a scary dream again?

Soobin: (deleted message) In the dream we...

Yeonjun: Ah, I shouldn’t have said anything.

Beomgyu: What’s scary about this? If there’s a real ghost let’s go and check at night *laughs*

Kai: Hyungs, stop talking about scary things please *cries*

Taehyun: Beomgyu hyung is joking about this too??

Yeonjun: Should we just go to Ttukseom?]

Naturally, things go wrong, what else were we expecting? Their antics end up setting the magic forest on fire, until they end up destroying the whole Dream World, and it leads us to the start of Eternally. One thing I believe to be very interesting is how, when they’re trapped in the storm, Soobin keeps touching his ears, Kai touches his chest like in Nap of a Star, and Beomgyu touches his shoulder. Yeonjun and Taehyun aren’t properly shown but they probably also touch the affected places.

I would argue that Can’t You See Me? is also just a reinterpretation of the conflict they’re going through, both within themselves but also as a group, because they did just destroy their secret place. This is pretty much where the current timeline ends. I’m a bit uncertain if they’re trapped in the Dream World or outside of it without being able to go back, because Taehyun does mention wanting to go back in the Port teasers, but he doesn’t specify where. I want to bet that they’re trapped in the Dream World but I do need to analyze the Chaos Chapter better to decide that.

The Practice Room Star

Yes, this is a play on words, as I fully believe that the Practice Room Ghost and the Star are both the same entity. When they were kids, they made a promise with the Star, but they’ve forgotten it with time, and now that they have reunited and found their way into the Dream World again, the Star wants them back. The Star is probably a very powerful being, since they are able to interfere with the Real World to reach to them, enough to make them confused about their own reality. Their bond seems to be stronger with Soobin, who’s even able to hear them reach out on occasion. It’s uncertain what exactly it is that they want.

The Visions (Eternally MV)

The night of the last day & Song of a Star (Soobin’s visions)

Eternally starts at the end of Magic Island, with the Dream World completely in ruins. Eternally happens before Magic Island, so this dream Soobin has at the beginning is nothing but a prophecy. In the dream, he is holding a book, which we also see Beomgyu with. I think this book is the one they got the information about the Dream World during the Magic era, since the cover is very similar to the symbols we can see in Run Away. 

I believe Song of a Star is the Star reaching out to him. He’s the first one to be able to hear the Star, as shown in Magic Island, and he also references the Star’s song in teachers. The kid he sees is probably the version of himself that first entered the Dream World as a kid (or maybe Kai lol), which might be why he wants to cry everytime he has that dream: it’s the nostalgia for a time he left behind.

Room No. 17 (Beomgyu’s vision)

While I’m not sure what the number 17 means yet, and my research on numerology yielded no results, this vision is particularly interesting to me. Through it we get to see Beomgyu’s more ‘brash’ nature as he defends the book that Soobin was seen holding previously. If that book is their key to the Dream World, then it makes a lot of sense that he’s trying to protect it. I’m not sure who the other person trying to stop him is, but it does kinda look like things didn’t go well for them after Beomgyu transformed. 

Girl of Eternity (Huening Kai’s vision)

Perhaps the strangest of names for visions, this clearly represents how the rest of the members keep moving far away from Kai and become unreachable to him. He mentions several times how he’s clueless about what’s going on and wants to understand, but the rest of them continue to keep him in the dark, so he feels a distance growing between them, which might increase in the future.

Moratorium of Rest (Taehyun’s vision)

Taehyun’s vision is perhaps the most shocking of all, as it shows us Yeonjun sitting on a chair and covered in spines and purple “paint”. Yeonjun is sitting in the middle of a field of all sorts of violets, and Taehyun tries calling him before realizing the condition Yeonjun is in.

Promise (Yeonjun’s vision)

Yeonjun shares the misfortune with Taehyun of seeing his lifeless corpse, except his vision is much less artistic about it. After finding his body, he sees a fire from the corner of his eye, and right next to it, you guessed it, the odd-eyed cat. His vision in particular finishes with the phrase “I thought it was salvation, then.” And here is where things turn south.

Yeonjun’s promise and the Odd-Eye Cat

I have a very strong reason to believe that Yeonjun is in danger of dying an awful death, and it’s only partially because of the visions. Since Nap of a Star, Yeonjun has been followed by the vigilant eyes of the Odd-Eye Cat almost religiously, and it usually never brings good situations with it. It’s bad enough that the neck cut in Nap of a Star is replicated in Taehyun’s vision, that Soobin sees Yeonjun all bloody in Eternally, and that both Yeonjun and Taehyun see the former dead, but there might be some external clues that hint towards Yeonjun’s upcoming demise.

In the official BigHit website for TxT’s discography, where we found out that Soobin researched and figured out the way to go into the Dream World, we can find a picture of Yeonjun reading a book. In English, this book is called The Alchemaster’s Apprentice. This book narrates the story of a black cat who sells its soul to a sort of wizard in exchange for food, since he’s starving to death. The wizard agrees to fatten the cat for a month, after which it will kill it and use its fat for magical purposes.

The cat in this book doesn’t have heterochromia, however I found out some pagan groups in Eastern Europe believe that a different colored eye was a witch’s eye, meaning that the eye has literally been swapped out with a witch’s. I fully believe that Yeonjun made a deal he shouldn’t have, and the Odd-Eye Cat has been sent by whoever made the deal with him to check on him. It might just be that Yeonjun’s time is going to run out very soon, and the visions are trying to warn everyone of that.

Conclusion

Magic exists and TxT might have bitten more than they can chew because they wanted to run away from the problems of real life (relatable). Now, the Star that they made a promise with is trying to reach them, and maybe warn them about something that’s coming. The fact is that they’re not safe, especially Yeonjun, and things might turn south very quickly very soon.

I’ll try to come back soon with the Minisode 1 + Chaos Chapter Theory update, but for now, if you liked this, please interact with the post and check out my other theories here!

[r3almellow]

MLQC Boys Being Horny For A Pregnant S/o

Thanks so much for the request!! This almost turned into a big pregnancy headcanon HC, but I fought through the urge! You guys should be proud of me!

Warning: Pregnancy sex, oral sex, and lactation

Click “Keep Reading” for the goods!

Kiro

Kiro was in pure bliss while you were pregnant because your sex drive was practically through the roof.

The two of you had sex quite a few times a week and Kiro was in absolute heaven.

At first, you would have sex in your usual places. (Home, dressing room, recording studio, broom closet ect.) But as the months went on, your intimate moments mostly occurred at home or in a hotel room with a nice comfortable bed for you to be on.

Even before you got pregnant Kiro had a thing for your breasts. Biting, sucking, titty fucking...the whole nine yards! 

There wasn’t a moment that went by where Kiro didn’t find an opportunity to slip hands under your blouse just to squeeze “the girls.” 

He immediately notices how big they’ve gotten and booooy did the sight of you going up two bra sizes have his mouth watering.

Seeing your nipples poking out from your shirt was just... *chefs kiss* 

If you complained about clothes irritating your sensitive nipples he’d jokingly say that you should walk around the house topless. But he’s actually not joking and would sell his soul if it meant you’d actually do it.

His favorite position is missonary and cowgirl because they give him the best access to your breasts, so he can caress and fondle as he pleases.

However, the former was mostly doable during your first trimester, so spooning has become his go to mainly because he doesn’t want you doing all the work. 

It was also a win because he could hold you from behind while placing kisses along your neck while taking in your scent. He'd have a hand massaging your breast while the other between your legs, drawing circles around your clit as he slowly thrusted into you from behind. 

Once the baby is born, you always have to remind him constantly that your breasts are extremely sensitive to the point where they're too painful to touch. 

When you begin breastfeeding...oh boy...

He can feel the way his dick strains against his pants as he watches you. He was excited for all the naughty things he planned on doing when you were ready.

You can feel his eyes on you sometimes and you often have to give him a playful glare.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it.” How could he stop thinking about how erect your nipples looked?! Or how badly he wanted to leave bite marks all over your breasts?! Oooor how much he wanted to feel them rubbing against his cock?!

And when you accidentally start leaking? You’ll be so embarrassed, but Kiro?! Your man is losing it! He didn’t think something like breastmilk leaking through your shirt would be hot but he’s been wrong about a lot of things. 

Kiro will always respect your wishes to wait but once you give him the go ahead your boobs are not safe from him. 

Gavin

There was something about you being pregnant that really got him going. 

He will always kneel before you to press small kisses against your stomach and has a habit of trailing down to what he calls “dangerous territory.”

Out of fear of hurting the baby and not wanting to put you through any unnecessary stress because he couldn’t keep it in his pants, Gavin will opt for taking care of his “problems” on his own.

He'll be super conflicted too! Poor thing just wants to make love to you, but not at the cost of hurting you!

Whenever you want to have sex, he tries to turn you down. Emphasis on TRY! Somehow things end either with his head between your legs or you giving him a hand job. As nice as that was, it wasn't the saaaaaaame!

“The sight of me is such a turn off, right? I wouldn’t want to touch me either...”  

Gavin will look at you like you just slapped him in the face. Never in his life has he ever been turned off by you. No matter what state you’re in, you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. 

You'll notice his "lack of interest" and naturally start to doubt his attraction to you.

“Babe, its not that! I never thought you could look any more beautiful, but you looking like this proved me wrong. I’ve never wanted you more than I do right now, but I’m trying to protect our baby and your pussy from me. Its been so hard for me to control myself around you.” 

You can tell he’s been going through it when you cup him through his pants and feel just hard he is. Poor thing.

You have to tell him being intimate while you’re pregnant wasn’t a bad thing and that the baby would be perfectly fine. 

It won’t take long for you to convince him, especially when you’re slowly pumping his dick with your hand that “magically” slipped itself down his pants.

He loves having you on top of him so he can look at your beautiful body as you ride him. 

When Baby Bai arrives, Gavin goes back to doing things on his own because he knows you need rest.

You only have a certain number of positions to choose from since you’re carrying precious cargo, but Gavin’s absolute favorite position is cowgirl. 

Will caress your stomach while he's eating you out. He's not exactly sure why but it's become a habit.

Won't pressure you at all and will patiently wait until you're ready.

Sometimes, gets worried when you start bouncing on his cock and the slapping of skin starts to echo throughout the bedroom. He's just like, "B-babe, maybe we should... slow down...ah...what about...shit!" You're gonna have to shut him up somehow. Clenching yourself around him might do the trick.

Victor

You had a certain glow about you during your pregnancy that Victor was in awe of. 

Victor is very observant of how much your body has changed throughout the course of your pregnancy for obvious reasons, however, said reasons have become a bit, in his opinion, perverse as the months went on.

Just the sight of you made him want to ravish you in ways he has never thought of before. But why? 

Was it the way your maternity clothes perfectly outlined the curves of your body? Maybe how swollen your breasts have become? 

Or maybe...just maybe it was how good you looked in the various lingerie he bought for you. Babydoll lingerie that perfectly highlighted your stomach were his personal favorites.

Sex with Victor during your first two trimesters was pretty normal until half way through month six he becomes a bit more hesitant and by month seven stops completely.

Another one who doesn’t want to harm you or the child. 

It takes you and three different doctors to tell him that having sex while you were seven months pregnant was perfectly normal.

Even with that knowledge he’s still pretty hesitant, but not even a day after confirmation does his resolve break and with the utmost care you two enjoy a night filled with passion.

He’ll be in the middle of giving you a foot massage as you sit there in your bathrobe and he subconsciously places a kiss against your ankle.

He catches himself trailing kisses up your leg and abruptly stops. That was probably the hardest thing he's ever had to do. Doesn’t help that you’re looking at him with blush coated cheeks as you spread your legs ever so slightly for the hem of the robe to fall from your leg, revealing your upper thigh. 

When Victor puts his mind to something he sees it through without fail, but you always manage to throw him through an an unexpected loop.

So...yeeaaah...two seconds later he has his face in between your legs, tongue pressed against your clit, and hands firmly holding you in place as he continued to take from you. This is one failure he will accept with pride if that means he can have you in every possible way.

His all time favorite position during your pregnancy is definitely spooning. It makes him feel closer to you.

After the pregnancy, sex is out of the question for the next few months which you don’t complain about, because parenthood hits you and your body hard. 

Victor understands that you need time to heal and that your sex drive isn't as high as it was before. Plus, the baby required your attention 90% of the time.

That doesn’t mean Victor doesn’t fantasize about having you under him again. He does miss being intimate with you and has been holding back quite a bit.

He’ll catch you looking at yourself in the mirror, pointing out all your “imperfections” and all he wants to do place kisses all along your body.

You’ll just be like, “I don’t know how you can stare at all of this and still be attracted to me.” 

Victor will wrap his arms around you stare at you sternly in the mirror.

“I don’t know where you got such foolish ideas from, but you’re perfect the way you are and when you’re ready I’ll remind you of that fact.”

You can’t even fight him on that, not when his erection is firmly pressed against you. 

Lucien

Already researched all the best sex positions for pregnant women. 

You two have a healthy amount of sex for most of your pregnancy, so Lucien and you are never left feeling “parched” for one another. 

It's not until your final months does Lucien take a few steps back.

Prefers to focus on giving you the most pleasurable experience when you two make love. You deserve to feel good especially when you’re carrying a life inside you for nine months. 

So you’ll expect a lot of him eating you out, fingering you, toys; just about anything that can bring you pleasure.

Has definitely done things with you while he's trying to help you around the house. And he's so slick with it!

In the middle of helping you shower, his fingers will gently caress your stomach and you're just like "Awwww!" and then they're suddenly caressing your clit.

While the father-to-be is understanding and all about your sexual experience its definitely a challenge when he wants to have sex with you. Especially when you're so tempting!

You could be in the middle of talking about baby names and he'll have the biggest smile on his face as he looks at you. So wholesome, right? Wrong! His mind is definitely somewhere else!

But it'll take more than your ample breasts, an unsuspecting smile thrown his way and your very existence to make him falter.

While you love the way he tends to you and makes sure you’re getting the most out of this, you'd rather to do things together. 

He dares not admit the amount of times he's thought about bending you over the kitchen counter and pounding himself into you with little to no restraint.

Toys are great and all but you’re trying to feel his dick.

Once you tell him what you want, Lucien will graciously comply and mentally thank you for saying something, because he was on the verge of breaking.

Of course, sex takes a backseat once the baby is born so Lucien won't turn into some sex crazed monster after two months, buuuut he will spend quite a lot of time "handling business" on his own.

-------------------------------------------------------

Done!!! Kinda posted this with little to no editing, so I'm sorry about that. I still hope this was enjoyable to read!

Want to read more of my MLQC stuff? Check out my masterpost!

[i-drink-and-i-write-fics]

Let It Die

Chapter 2: If You Love Me

Summary: Loki makes a plan with Thor to win back Reader’s heart.

Your room had become your personal ice castle. Small frozen ice sculptures were decorating your window sills while a light ring of frost surrounded the window panes. Snow lightly covered your dresser and nightstand while your bed was piled high with thick blankets. Not that you really needed them. As an ice queen once said: the cold never bothered you anyway.

Not that your were like the ice mutant on the X-Men team; you couldn’t turn your whole body into movable ice. But you thrived when the temperature dropped. Which was also a downside. You could never go on missions in desert areas. No moisture in the air meant no powers for you.

When you met Loki, you felt all your dreams came true. You never had to worry about accidentally freezing him in your sleep. And with your mutation, his frost giant skin never harmed you. Not that he showed that form very often.

He had a sweet side to him no one else had seen and could make you feel like the most important person in the world. Loki also had the bad habit of cutting you into pieces, as if dissecting you would help him understand humanity better. All he accomplished was cutting into your self esteem.

You couldn’t understand why you were so upset. It was no secret that he would have outlived you without even trying. There were rumors, whispers that there were ways to make a mortal live as long as an Asgardian - er, frost giant. But since Loki never once brought it up in the two years you had dated, you just assumed there was no truth to them. And you hated the idea of looked so old and worn next to him in 50 years while he looked untouched by time.

There was a gentle knock on the door followed by a familiar voice. “Hey hon. Can we come in? We promise mortals only.”

You smiled and shook your head before opening the door to let Natasha and Wanda in. “Hey guys. Sorry about earlier. I just wasn’t in the mood to look at yet another gift from the dumbass.”

“Don’t worry about it. If anything, it’s been the liveliest we’ve seen you in months!” Wanda sat down on your bed and immediately wrapped a blanket around her. Nat followed suit. Both of their breaths were visible.

“Well, sorry about the temp in here, then.” You chuckled as you sat back down. “I guess I don’t have many guests in here as of late.”

“It’s ok, really. Your comfort is number one right now.” Nat tried to reassure you. “Besides, we were hoping to get you to leave your igloo tonight.”

You laughed again. “Ok, ok. I get it. My powers have been out of control lately. Every time I think I’m back to normal, Loki comes around and fucks it up all over again.”

“Want me to kill him?” Nat asked, deadpanned.

“Thanks, but that won’t help. My problem is I still love the asshole. And I don’t even know why! Yeah, he could be really romantic at times and-“ you paused and gave the girls a side glance, "other reasons as well. I’ll spare you.”

“Thanks,” Nat pretended to gag. “I personally don’t see it, but I also had to battle against him at one time.”

You smirked. “Fair. But man, he could really be a douche at times. I don’t even think he realized he was doing it half the times. I’d do something and instead of being proud, he’d point out what I did wrong. Made me want to punch him in the nuts.”

“So why do you hang on?“ You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. "I mean no offence, but it seems like there a small part of you that still hangs on. Like I get you still love the guy, but what’s there that’s making you hang on instead of trying to move on?”

You sighed and leaned back into your chair. “Ok, so maybe I do know why I still love him. Loki…. has this side that no one but Thor and I have seen and I wish he would let it out around more people. He has an amazingly kind heart. Yeah, I know, I know.” You held up your had as Nat opened her mouth. “I literally just said the man could be a douche at times. The times he criticized me, it was for things that pertained to our job. I didn’t throw the knife right. My stance is too wide. I breathe too loud, the enemy will hear me. But when it came to everyday life…. he could’t praise me enough. He loved to watch me cook and listen to me sing. Snow days…” you sighed, “those were my favorite. But I wanted his approval for work. How could we work together on a mission when all I could think about was how I wasn’t doing something correctly? And then the mortality thing….”

“It all comes down then to if he can reign in how much he criticizes your work would it be worth it to try again when he’ll just outlive you?”

“Pretty much. But I doubt that will happen. That man likes to think he’s the best when it comes to fighting and war. Just because he’s a freakin’ god.”

Wanda looked over at Nat and nodded her head. “Ok, sweetie. Enough moping! We’re getting your out of here and clearing your head. So get dressed, it’s time for a night out!”

You couldn’t help the smile. “Yeah, maybe that is a good idea. If I clear my head maybe I’ll be able to control my powers better even if I never make a decision about Loki.”

“That’s the spirit!” They left you to change your clothes and you opted for dark black pants, black and silver boots, and a icy blue top.

You met the girls in the common area and Nat had opted for a stunning tight, black dress while Wanda wore a dress the same shade of red as her hair. The three of you piled into a car Nat had hired for the night and headed into town. Wanda picked out a very upscale club and the three of you managed to talked you way in past the bouncer and the incredibly long line. The place was packed but the three of you managed to make your way over to the bar to grab a drink before trying to find a table.

“Man, it’s hella packed in here! Maybe we should have invited Stark so we could abuse the VIP section.” You shouted over the music.

“You rang?”

You whirled around to find Tony at your side. “What are you doing here?”

“Night out, of course! I even brought my own lady.” Pepper looped her arm in his. “Actually, Nat told us what she had planned for tonight and we decided to tag along. We’ve been worried about you.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Tony leaned over and kissed your forehead. “Don’t worry about it, kid. We’re all here tonight.”

“We?”

Tony just smirked and held out his other arm. You couldn’t help the grin as you took it so he could lead you across the crowded club. People immediately parted out of the way of your entourage as you made your way to the VIP corner. There a mix of your friends were waiting for you: Sam, Steve, Bucky, Thor, Rhodey, Vision, and Maria.

“Young Mr. Parker sends his regards. He was dying to come here, but I wasn’t about to break the rules to sneak him in.”

“Glad to hear you’re trying to be a good influence on the kid, Stark.”

“I have my moments.”

You climbed into the booth next to Thor while Tony and Rhodey pulled over another set of table and chairs. “So you guys subjected yourself to an overly crowded club just because you were worried about me?”

“Of course, Dear ____!” Thor’s voice easily boomed over the music. “We are your friends and we care about you.”

You looked down at your drink as you spoke to Thor. “And what about your brother?”

“Loki sends his regards if you’ll have them. He acknowledges he has been an ass to you lately.”

A corner of your mouth twitched upwards. “It’s what he does best.”

“If I may, I would like to say something on his behalf.” You took a deep breath but nodded your head yes. “My brother is not the best at expressing his feelings. A trait, I am afraid, he learned from Odin. You do not have to give him a second chance, but I would hope you could at least have one last conversation with him before making your finally decision.”

You took a long gulp of your drink before answering. “Alright, I will. For you, Thor. You’ve always been like a brother to me. If this means so much to you, then I will.”

Thor’s face lit up as he smiled at you. “I was hoping you would say yes. Now we can get to your surprise!”

“My what?”

Before Thor could answer, the DJ’s voice rang out through the speakers. “This next one is a request. Dedicated to the Icy Monarch from the Frost Giant!”

You whipped your head to look at Thor. “Loki’s here?! What’s going on?”

Thor held up one hand. “Just listen, Dear _____.”

The song began to swirl around you:

I cut you into pieces Searching for your imperfections I had plans to make you whole But all my threads couldn’t stop the bleeding There’s nothing left, but I’m not leaving When all I know is you

You’re breath caught in your throat as you listened to the lyrics.

I’ve been looking for a way To bring you back to life And if I could find a way, then I would bring you back tonight I’d make you look, I’d make you lie I’d take the coldness from your eyes But you told me, if you love me Let it die

Your eyes stare right through me Ignoring my failed attempts to Breathe back life into your veins But I can’t start your cold heart beating You’re so far gone, but I’m not leaving When all I know is you

It was like your relationship and the last two months following the break up coming to life in front of your eyes. And then he walked into your line of sight and goddamn, he could always make a suit look good. Black suit, black shirt, a tie as green as his eyes, and a small black box in his hands. Your heart raced as he quietly walked up to you and set the box by your drink. Everyone at the table sat as still as statues, not wanting to disturb the scene in front of them.

You reached for the box and began to open it as the end of the song rang out:

And you left me more dead Than you’ll ever know When you left me alone I’ve been looking for a way To bring you back to life And if I could find a way, then I would bring you back tonight I’d make you look, I’d make you lie I’d take the coldness from your eyes But you told me, if you love me Let it die

Inside the box was a single gold apple. It was the oddest thing Loki had ever given you and you weren’t sure as to what it was. Picking it up, it was instantly clear that the apple was far lighter than you expected and softer as well. As if you could actually eat the golden fruit.

You raised your eyes back up to the Trickster God. “My dear, I have behaved horribly towards you. You loved me more than I ever deserved and I couldn’t even give you what you needed. If it is possible, I would like a second chance to prove I can be worthy of your love. And in exchange, I present the Golden Apple of Idun’s orchard.”

“I’m-I’m sorry. A what?”

“A golden apple. It is to be consumed by a mortal wishing to extend their life. Forgive me, I never brought them up before as I feared you would only want the apple. Not me. No one has ever wanted me for what I was.”

You looked up into his eyes. “I did. In any form you would give me.”

He knelt down by your side. “I know that now and I am a fool for not seeing it sooner. I know it is asking for the world, but I would love to give us a second chance. Because you are my world.”

Your lower lip trembled and you placed the apple back before closing the lid on the box. Loki’s face fell. “I cannot accept this apple.”

“Of course. I understand.” He lowered his eyes.

“Loki, please let me finish.” You placed your hand under his chin and lifted his face so he was looking at you again. “I will not accept this apple at this time. We first need to talk about the problems we have and if it’s possible to fix them. Only after we have gotten our footing back will I eat the apple for you.”

“So…”

“Yes, Loki. I will give us a second chance.”

Loki’s joy was clear on his face and beyond words. He stood up, pulling you with him, so he could engulf you in a hug. “I promise to make myself worthy of this chance. You are my love.”

“And you are my Frost Giant.” You gave him a quick kiss.

[kaimelia]

Love Story

a/n: so....I'm gonna post another chapter of paper rings soon (thank you for all of the support! it means so much) but in the meantime, here’s a little thing I wrote a bit ago

------------------

Amelia Shepherd had been in love many times throughout her life, more than she’d admit. Big love, quick love, accidental love, she’d been through it all. She’d been through the up of falling in love, learning to trust a person more than she hoped, just for the other side to come crashing down and leave her alone.

For all the time she could remember, she’d referred to Ryan Kerrigan as the love of her life. It was definitely the first big love she could remember feeling, that world-shifting, life-changing love that breaks your heart in the most painful way when it’s over. But, when she really sat and thought about it, she wasn’t so sure. They were only together for a short period of time (during most of which she was high), and she didn’t think it really counted. There wasn’t time for her to build a life with him, to learn all of his quirks and the little things he would do to make her feel just a little bit better. It was nothing compared to what she felt now.

Now, she knew what love was. Or at least, what it was supposed to be. The butterflies in your stomach every time you see them, the type of love that only happens in movies, and you swear that it’s not real. The type of love that seems too perfect to truly exist.

She knew she loved Link for the first time early during her pregnancy when he had gone to four different supermarkets at 1 in the morning to look for the specific type of cookies she was craving. He came home to his apartment an hour later with two bags of cookie mix, telling her how everywhere was sold out, and he was determined to make them himself. She sat on the counter as he scurried around the small kitchen, humming softly and mixing up various ingredients to create just what she was craving. After the timer on the oven went out, they’d tasted them, her mouth turning into a wide smile as he brushed off her compliments, telling her he just followed the instructions on the mix. She made him promise to do whatever he had done again before falling asleep with a belly full of the perfect cookies.

She knew she really loved Link when he came home one day, a bag in hand as he sat on the bed and proceeded to show her the baby clothes he had bought for their son, his toothy grin and excitement obvious the whole time. He’d laid the clothes over her ever-growing stomach, and she watched as his face lit up when their son kicked in response. His hands had traced up and down her skin, while he spoke softly to the baby as if he was introducing himself for the first time. She’d fallen asleep that night with his arms wrapped securely around her, cradling her bump and him whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

She knew she ‘big’ loved Link after their son was born and the pandemic hit. They’d spent so much time cooped up in Meredith’s house, and he’d gone out of his way to convince Maggie to watch all of the kids for the first time in months, just so that they could have a night alone, one for her to relax. He’d booked them a hotel room nearby and ordered Italian food from the restaurant they hadn’t eaten at in months, as well as bringing some cookies he’d baked earlier that day, the ones that he remembered she loved during her pregnancy. She’d fallen asleep against him while they took a warm bath and woke up the next morning curled up next to him in the bed, the sunlight peeking through the curtains and covering them.

She knew Link was the love of her life during what seemed like an unconventional moment for such a realization. Although Meredith had recovered completely from COVID, Amelia had become extremely paranoid about the terrible things that could happen, as well as the ones that had already happened in their lives. She’d walked into their bedroom to see him sitting at her desk, a pile of paperwork surrounding him. He’d informed her that he was updating his will, not wanting there to be any complications if something terrible did happen. She watched him from behind, resting her chin on top of his head and her hands on his shoulders as he dedicated everything to her in case of tragedy. She later did the same yet couldn’t help to be overcome with the thought of losing him. That, more than anything, terrified her. Her brain flooded with horrific ‘what if’s’ as she shed a few tears and was forced to think about a life without him. He seemed to walk into the room at the perfect time, immediately noticing the stray tears falling down her cheeks and wrapping his arms around her tightly. He didn’t ask what had happened until later and stayed up with her that night, holding her as she cried, talking her down from all of the terrible thoughts, and even creating a plan for the absolute worst. He’d made promises that part of her knew he couldn’t keep, promising that he’d never leave, that he’d be safe and here for her for the rest of their lives, but she took such comfort in his words. At that moment, she felt all of the terrible heartbreak, the earth-shattering, life-crushing heartbreak which she had only experienced once before. Yet this time, she was feeling it all at the mere prospect of losing him.

She knew she’d spend the rest of her life with him the day he got down onto one knee and held out a ring, proclaiming how much he loved her and didn’t want to spend another day not married to her. The day had been perfectly imperfect, the date he was planned on proposing getting interrupted by her being paged to an emergency surgery at the hospital. She’d come home a few hours later to a clean apartment, the lighting dim and her boyfriend standing in front of her, wearing clothes she knew were too nice for anything casual to happen. She knew exactly what he was going to ask when he stepped forward and took her hand, and she immediately said yes, not giving him a chance to ask his question or even get down onto his knee. He insisted on doing it, for the sake of formalities, and soon slipped the dainty ring on her finger. In some aspects, they both knew that marriage was just a legal title, yet she couldn’t contain her excitement at the thought of being his wife.

She knew they’d survive anything the day of their wedding. He denied it, but everyone saw him shed a tear as he saw her walk down the aisle, her arm looped through her soon-to-be father-in-law’s arm as he walked her down the aisle. Their eyes locked as soon as she entered the hall, not once leaving each other’s glances, and they both grinned widely. The ceremony was unsurprisingly interrupted by their son’s crying, emitting laughter from everyone in the audience who had been expecting it to happen. Bailey had walked out into the hall with him, not wanting either of Link’s parents to miss any of the wedding, even with their insistence to go calm their grandson. Amelia had grinned past her motherly concern once the silence returned, her eyes moving back to stare into those of the man she undoubtedly knew was the love of her life. They spoke their vows, telling quick stories about moments filled with the most love and joy she had ever experienced in her life, both of their eyes watering and tears falling freely down their faces. He’d gently wiped away those on her face, careful not to smudge her makeup, both of them momentarily forgetting about the room full of people around them. When the officiant finally pronounced them husband and wife, their lips met immediately, only separating for her to laugh when he dipped her down.

Amelia Shepherd had been in love many times throughout her life, more than she could probably count. But now, knowing what true love felt like, she knew that none of those other times mattered.

[sleeplessincairo]

[ dating steve rogers would include: ]

warnings: just a few cusses and a few sexual implications

///

He's an absolute gentlemen even in awkward, but adorable ways:

He’s always asking for permission before taking action whether it’s asking if you’re okay with him wrapping his arms around you in public or if you mind him kissing you even if you’ve been dating for 6 months.

He’s always racing to your side of the car or to the entrance of any room/building just so he can open the door for you-But despite him being super human, you still manage to beat him to it sometimes.

He even sometimes sprawls his jacket across a puddle just so your shoes don’t get wet, but you usually end up jumping in the puddle and splashing the water everywhere with an innocent grin. You do appreciate the thought and effort, though.

He constantly offers you his jacket just in case you’re cold and even sometimes goes ahead and drapes it over your shoulders, because he knows how stubborn you are to actually bother accepting it or asking for it.

He absolutely HAS to walk or drive you home every time just to make sure you arrive home safely and make sure no knucklehead dares to mess with you, but when you refuse to let him go through all that trouble he settles for ‘observing from a distance’ which is basically him stalking you.

Despite him having the spontaneous job of being a superhero, he never keeps you waiting too long-Mostly because of him missing his dance with Peggy by years resulted in him being as punctual as he can.

The list goes on...From him pulling your seat out for you to sit on and helping you put on your coat to paying for every date regardless of your protests.

In the beginning, he was extremely shy and flustered to the point where he would stutter uncontrollably and question every move he made so he wouldn't embarrass himself.

At the end of your dates, He tried to kiss you but usually ended up chickening out and end up kissing your cheek instead.

But finally, when he walked you to your apartment on your 4th date, he stood there awkwardly stuttering a goodnight while staring directly at your lips, only for you to grab him by the collar of his shirt and kiss him yourself.

When Tony heard the story of you being the one to make the first move and kiss him, he stayed about a whole month teasing Steve about it.

"Is (Y/N) gonna be the first one to make a move in the bedroom too, Steve?"

Him giving you those adorable sideways smiles with his eyes glimmering with adoration that’s reserved just for you.

You teaching him about the latest technology, slang, and trends after realizing that getting Tony to do it was a completely bad idea-He ended up just telling Cap’ either completely incorrect things or just things that would give him a good laugh.

“Wow (Y/N), that’s so fetch.”

"Alright let me get this straight, you tag people? Wasn’t that a game people played where you chase someone and if you touch them, they're it? Did they make that into an...app-apparatus?"

A lot of ‘Wait, I didn’t mean to send that’

You get to see the clumsy, imperfect, and wounded side of Captain America the world doesn’t get to see; you get to witness all the ‘Him getting up in the middle of the night to pee and accidentally stepping on his shield, making it hit him in the shin’s, all the sleepless nights spent together because the nightmares are getting too vivid, all the regrets and disappointments he holds for himself because he was too late, all the insecurities that eat him alive because of him having all of this strength and these abilities yet still not being enough, all the reckless and deadly actions he makes without even a second thought because he’s just not used to having someone to live for, the way he slightly flinches when Thor summons and uses his powers, all the times he misplaces his shield to the point where Tony ends up putting a tracker in it, the emptiness of his apartment because he’s too afraid to settle down, the bright red color that seeps through his cheeks when you press your body tightly against his, all the low swears that escape through his mouth when he thinks no one can hear him, all the uncertainties and hesitations that he never dares to show because he’s ‘Captain freaking America’. You get to witness all his deepest fears, thoughts, and feelings. You get to witness and love Steve Rogers.

Steve always making sure that his superhero life doesn't affect his private life especially when said superhero life concludes of spontaneous and agonizingly long missions. He makes it his personal duty to make time for dates, events, and well, you.

Steve doesn't like bullies. He doesn’t care who they are.

Steve woke up from almost 75 years of being frozen in ice after fighting wars and battles, fighting for America and it’s freedom only to wake up and find out the world is still a dark place and he can’t help but think that all his friends died for nothing. Steve makes it his new mission to fight for equality and power to the people, to make sure everyone has a voice, to make sure no one is overlooked or ignored, to make sure that everyone gets the God-given rights they have.

Captain America symbolizes freedom and protection and he'll be damned if he can’t offer minorities the freedom and protection they DESERVE. Captain America has always been for standing up for the little guy, for following what’s right not the law. Captain America is the symbol of how America should be.

Steve Rogers was a fugitive of the law at some point, there is no way he’d hold back on joining in on women’s marches, protests and riots, and pride parades.

Steve Rogers volunteering at Youth Centers to teach kids self-defense and offering them the guidance, support, and comfort Bucky always managed to offer him.

Steve Rogers protecting people from police brutality-His insomnia and Tony’s drones helped him keep an eye out for it and other forms of harassment.

Steve refusing to reinforce nor aid any governments that took part in the oppression of it’s own citizens and worked hard to striving for a better life for them with the help of T’challa and Tony help creating a treaty that ensures it.

A lot of slow dancing and slight swaying while being wrapped in each others arms.

Especially to Billie Holiday. Boy, is he a fan of Billie Holiday.

He's not exactly supportive of technology due to the unfortunate difference in human interactions between the 40s and now, so he sticks to some of his old habits.

Instead of sending text messages or calling during missions, he mostly writes you letters. Every single different alias he uses for each letter is inscribed into your brain.

Instead of staying home all day, he takes you out to soak in the beautiful weather of New York and tells you about how it used to be back in the 40’s.

Instead of watching a movie on your laptop or the TV, he takes you to the local cinema or even a drive-in.

Oh, how he loves taking you to the Smithsonian Museum just so he can point out all the inaccurate facts and exhibitions in display.

Leaving each other sticky notes everywhere to remind each other of events because of the fact that his unstable working hours so you don’t see each other much for you to tell each other face to face. Slowly, the both of you ended up developing a habit of leaving short cute love notes on each other’s things-Every single sticky note is saved in your own special places but Steve takes a few with him whenever he goes on missions to keep him company.

Although, you’d never tell Steve this, but his handwriting is absolutely terrible. Despite him being quite the artist, reading his notes is like decoding what a doctor’s prescription note says. However, with every not he wrote you, you started recognizing the way his I’s look like E’s, the way he curves and arcs his letters like he’s drawing loops, and the way punctuation is a stranger to him and soon enough it was like you were reading your own handwriting. You did enjoy decoding the notes he leaves you everyday. It was like a secret language only you could understand.

Him taking you to Brooklyn and telling you stories of the trouble he'd get himself into in EVERY spot.

He told you about how he almost got arrested at the Old Stone House because he snuck in there with Bucky. All because they couldn’t wait for the Grand re-opening. Bucky managed to talk the police out of it by lying to them, and saying that Steve had 2 weeks left to live and how it was his dying wish to see the place.

Oh, and how he had his first kiss with Leslie Jordan in front of Bamonte’s during their first and only date in the 11th grade. He remembered all the fights he got into with the jerks in his class that were always picking on her because of the birthmark on her face, he remembered all the times they sat together because no one wanted to sit with them, he remembered how he asked her to the school dance because every girl deserved the chance to have a special slow dance with a boy, he remembered how he saved up so that they could eat at that fancy italian place-Bamonte’s-afterwards. She ended up switching schools and moving to Wisconsin the following week.

Steve told you about all the places that were rundown and were there before all the replacements and modifications, all his happy childhood memories, all the alleys he got his ass kicked in, all the places him and Bucky got kicked out of. But it wasn’t until after you met Bucky and shared hundreds of stories about Steve that you realized that even before the serum Steve was still a fucking dumbass that went headfirst into reckless and dangerous trouble; Now, he didn’t jump out of planes without a parachute back then but he did climb 3 floors up the side of his apartment building just because he felt like it.

Helping and comforting Steve after Peggy dies and being his shoulder to cry on, to lean on, to hide his dorky smile in, and rest his head on that fit perfectly as if it was hand sculpted by God himself just for Steve.

He tells you everything. Absolutely everything. From how many punching bags he managed to make fly today to telling you about his failed missions or missions with casualties-Sometimes he didn’t even need to verbally tell you, you could tell what happened by the slouch of his shoulders and the lack of glimmer in his oh-so-bright eyes.

Jesus, the man can swear like a goddamn sailor. It took him about 2 months for him to feel comfortable enough swear in the presence of a lady, but it was expected that he’d break at some point considering all the pent up rage he has bottled up. The man makes punching bags fly for God’s sake! Not to mention the fact that he was in the army with the Howling Commandos of all people. He just couldn’t help the series of cusses that flew past his lips when-despite the years of training-he accidentally hits himself with his shield, the ‘Fucks’ and ‘Shits’ that escaped through clenched teeth when he got injured during a mission, the soft profanities whispered against your neck as you came apart underneath him, the loud and consistent obscenities that forced his way out of his throat during his road rage-God help anyone who dares to ride in a car with Steve Rogers. You asked him to drive you to work ONCE during rush hour while your car was in the shop and oh boy, he let out words so colorful and vibrant they’d bring Tony Stark to tears.

Tony having a habit of interrupting you and Steve whenever you’re clearly having a moment.

“Did I walk in on some pre-fonduing?” Of course Howard told Tony about it during one of this drunken rants about Captain America, The Living God, and of course Tony would bring it up from time to time just to see Steve’s face turn redder than the Ironman armor.

Getting a mini heart attack whenever you hear about another reckless thing he did despite him telling you that he’d be more careful.

At some point, Bucky and Natasha become your personal spies who inform you of every Godforsaken idiotic thing he does

“You got into a brawl with a God, seriously?"

"Well, so did Tony.”

“AGAIN? You jump out of a plane without a parachute AGAIN?”

He gets homesick quite often but thankfully you’re there to help him through it with ‘Miracle on 34th Street’ and ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ ready for him at any moments notice as well as trips to Coney Island and the Stark Expo, but mostly, even if Steve doesn’t admit it, your presence is what helps him through it. The way you run your fingers through his hair and draw circles with them on his skin takes him back to simpler times when he was a little boy lying in the arms of his beloved mother, Sarah. A time of safety and comfort.

Helping him go through his To-Do list.

One of the most precious memories you have of him was when he saw Rocky for the first time with you, he was in awe of the storyline and the colors-He was put in a wonderous state after seeing the deep red color of blood being spat onto the floor, the sweat shimmer of Rocky’s face darimg his opponent to come at him, the overwhelming saturation and hue of actually seeing colors on a screen, of no longer seeing the dull and bland black-and-white pictures he was so used to.

You’re pretty sure he has Marvin Gaye’s entire discography memorized by heart at this point. Steve is eternally grateful to Sam to mentioning Troubleman to him because it was the start of a great obsession.

Training with him. Steve Rogers will personally wake you up for a morning run everyday and honestly you wouldn’t mind it if he didn’t wake you up everyday at the break of dawn. He can’t help it though. Sleep has become a stranger to him since he’s been back.

You’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t enjoy it, running with him side-by-side during the rare moments where the city was actually asleep offered you solace. Sometimes the both of you would talk, othertimes you’d run in silence, but mostly on each run you’d use it as a chance to help him catch up on another music album you thought was culturally important for him to know-Dating Steve really diversified your music taste.

He’s a hugger. He just loves embracing you in any possible way whether its linking his arms around you while you’re working, resting his head on your shoulder and hugging you from behind while you’re cooking, or pulling you onto his lap so he can breathe in your scent while he’s doing paperwork.

He has dozens of notebooks filled with hundreds of illustrations he drew of you and The Avengers. You’ve got a few hung up on your fridge but your favorite is definitely the drawing he made of a ring, set in between the cushions of a tiny blue box, that he gave you right before he bent down on one knee.

[elsanna-secret-santa]

For dont-tell-them-its-me

A gift for @dont-tell-them-its-me, courtesy of your secret santa!

—-

Promise me you’ll try, sunflower.

Those are the words that sink heavily into the bottom of Anna’s belly now. The same words that are ringing in her ears and making her heart ache with something she’s ignored for years. She traces over the letters on the screen of her phone in the sunset glow, a manicured fingernail looping around the ’s’ in sunflower, her mother’s name above the text message.

Anna exhales as she leans against the car headrest, breath leaving her lips in cool wisps. She tries to bury the doubt that rises up inside her every time she thinks about what that promise entails. What her parents begged of her, what the next month will bring. Her thoughts race and out of a thousand what-if scenarios there’s not one that leads her to the happy ending.

Dear God, where’s that prince charming when you need him?

Anna shuts her phone off, unable to read her mother’s text message for another time, and pockets it into her cream Chanel bag. She purposely doesn’t think of how many miles away her parents are, how many miles less Elsa is, now. She doesn't— won’t think about intruding upon Elsa’s self-inflicted isolation and how she’ll probably hate Anna for that even though their parents basically forced them to do this and—!

Wow, is it hot in here or is it just her? The collar of her Burberry coat feels a lot more constricting than she remembers. Using one hand to pop open the buttons, she rolls down the car window with the other and accidentally breathes in a lungful of snowflakes. Ice cold spikes lodge themselves in Anna’s throat and she coughs heavily into her elbow to rid herself of the feeling.

“Are you all right, Miss Anna?” The chauffeur, Elsa’s chauffeur, asks from the driver’s seat, not once looking at her through the rearview mirror.

He’s stiff and business-like, keeping his responses to Anna’s questions short, but polite. It made an awkward hours long car ride, Anna eventually giving up on attempts at conversation.

“Sorry! Just fine, thank you,” Anna replies, flushing up to her ears while hurriedly rolling up the car window. She doesn’t feel inclined to get a blast of cold wind again. “Um, actually, can I ask how long until we arrive?”

“Not long now. Approximately fifteen minutes.”

Anna’s stomach drops right down to her feet. She looks out the window again and sees nothing but endless snow covered trees and the occasional deer. She’s forgotten how bare the journey to their winter house is. Of course she wouldn’t find any landmarks to help her determine how long she has left.

We’re not in Kansas anymore.

She cracks a smile at her own joke despite the anxiety-induced nausea she feels. She tilts her head up, wishing to everything that she was back at her family’s lakeside mansion sipping sweet tea. Not… riding in the back of a Mercedes Benz, on her way to spend an entire month in the home of her childhood with no one but Elsa to keep her company. The thought is enough to bring back that feeling of dread and maybe a bit of those confusing butterflies she hides away.

Anna fiddles with anything she can get her hands on to avoid focusing on her looming reality. She snaps her pocket mirror open and checks her makeup, eyes flitting across her face to catch any signs of possible imperfections.

Elsa never has any imperfections. Definitely not, with her basically dripping in success and everything. She’s never faltered once, never second guessed herself, never made an error in her decisions. She had taken over their father’s family business in the blink of an eye and never stopped to look back at all she was leaving behind.

Anna shuts the pocket mirror and tosses it into her bag.

Five years later and the hurt still feels fresh.

Two rapid knocks against the side door startle Anna out of her thoughts, wide-eye blinking when Elsa’s chauffeur opens the door and extends his hand out to her. She hesitates for a second, allowing herself a moment to sit in her own anxiety and the outside chill, before gathering herself and pushing forward. Just like how she remembers father teaching Elsa way back. She takes a breath, takes the offered hand, and leaves the safety of the car.

Promise me you’ll try, sunflower. And by God she is.

The moment she steps out of the car her breath and all the bravery she built up escapes her. She takes in everything with her eyes, noticing the old, large stone walls that line the property, the dark green hedges framing the courtyard, and of course, the beautiful white mansion she’d called hers once upon a time.

She especially notices Elsa’s lack of presence.

“Where’s Elsa?”

The trunk door slams shut and Elsa’s chauffeur comes up beside Anna with her luggage hefted in his arms. She doesn’t have the heart to offer her help right now, not with the way her chest feels like a hollow cavity. Elsa wasn’t at the airport, wasn’t waiting in the car, and wasn’t at the door to their house.

“Ms. Arendelle is waiting inside. She regrets being unable to greet you but she—”

“Is busy, I know,” Anna says, cutting him off. She doesn’t mean to be rude, she’s just hurt by Elsa’s absence. Hasn’t it been long enough already? Is she that unimportant to her?

Anna follows Elsa’s chauffeur up the stairs leading to the mansion, shaking off old feelings all the way. Her hand grips the icy railing, remembering all the times she used to slide down it towards Elsa, who was waiting at the bottom with her arms spread wide. Their mother had always scolded them when she found them barely dressed and covered in snow, but their grandmother had laughed and told them stories about their mother doing the same. Elsa had a hard time believing it, but Anna hadn’t hesitated to bring up that piece of information time and time again.

When they reach the top, Elsa’s chauffeur sets down her luggage to open the beautiful ornate main doors, and steps to the side.

Everything is white, ice, and cold, like Anna remembers. The chill piercing through her thin gloves and nipping at her fingertips. With every click of her heels against the marble floors she steps deeper into the place of her childhood and sees memories; the women in paintings she used to pretend were friends, the large mirrors that took her to worlds unlike her own, the hundreds of fake ice crystal flowers that Elsa used to place behind Anna’s ears when she got upset. Now, they sit in vases all around the interior and Anna doesn’t want to touch.

She’s lost in her thoughts as she makes her way to her favourite mirror in the foyer, grand and delicate, with little fairies etched into the heavy wood. Anna stares at her reflection and eyes the red flush in her cheeks and the beginnings of dark circles, the lighting in the house bringing out things she’d missed before. She adjusts the skirt of her dress and smooths out the wrinkles in her coat.

Just as she’s reaching up to tuck flyaways into her cloche hat, she spots Elsa descending down the main spiral staircase through the mirror’s reflection, and her breath leaves her all at once.

“Anna.” She sounds, and looks, beautifully distant.

Elsa is all ice, blending in seamlessly with the delicate elegance of the house, looking almost as if she were a part of it. Every step of Elsa’s dark kitten heels brings Anna closer and closer to that cliff’s edge; the butterflies can’t help but come back in full force. She’s as gorgeous as the last time Anna saw her, dressed in all white now, as opposed to the black suit she wore before. Her signature hair is pulled up into a tight bun. She wears the business look well.

“H-hey,” Anna responds lamely, a little too late. “It’s been awhile.”

Elsa stops in front of her and Anna’s sure she’s about to combust into flames. Suddenly, the room is way too hot.

“Technically it’s only been a year.”

“Well,” Anna says, “I mean, the last time was at a funeral and we didn’t even get the chance to talk so…” Her awkward laugh bounces off the walls, sounding too loud for the fragile atmosphere Elsa has built.

Elsa’s eyebrow quirks up and her mouth pulls down into a frown. No doubt bringing that up was a bad idea, good job Anna. 

“I only came to show my… respect,” Elsa says, tightly. “I would apologize for my abrupt leave that day but I had no intentions of staying longer than necessary.”

Anna winces. She knows Elsa held negative feelings towards Hans even before his plans of attempted murder came to light. In retrospect, she can admit there were endless things to be suspicious about, concerning his character. The fact that he seemed to be somewhat knowledgeable of the members in her family should have been a big tip off, seeing as how her immediate family made it a point to keep themselves hidden from the public eye.

Their mother came from old money and their father had unwillingly inherited his family business after his older brother passed. Anna’s parents weren’t fond of being in the spotlight and the dangers that came with it, so they made sure to keep themselves away from the rest of the main family, only visiting a handful of times a year at their winter house. It was definitely isolating and it left Anna with a desperate desire to have someone really know her. A long line of terrible choices in boyfriends was born from that.

Still, that doesn’t mean Anna was happy when Hans suddenly died. It was almost directly after her and her family found out about his secret intentions, and Anna, even through her depression, thought it was strange. She remembers overhearing Elsa tell her parents it was like any regular car accident and not to be worried. She never brought it up.

“Anyways,” Elsa starts, apparently done with the topic of conversation, “I’ll show you to your room.”

It’s almost like Elsa’s forgotten this was once Anna’s home too. Still, she follows her lead up the staircase, past the large portrait of their great grandmother that hangs high on the ceiling, and into the right wing of the house where the… master bedrooms are? Why is Elsa taking her there and not to the left, where the guest bedrooms reside? That’s where Elsa and Anna always stayed prior, although since Elsa is technically the new owner of the house it makes sense she would take one of the master bedrooms. It doesn’t explain why Anna should, though.

“Um, Elsa? Why are you taking me to the master bedrooms? Aren’t I a guest?”

Elsa doesn’t stop walking, keeping her gaze in front of her. Her voice is small when she responds.

“I just thought… since you’re staying here for a while you would be more comfortable there. It’s larger. Plus, we would be closer so… I mean, unless you don’t want to. You can always stay elsewhere.”

“No, no! It’s fine,” Anna reassures her, not wanting to sound ungrateful. “I just didn’t think…” She doesn’t know how to say: ‘I didn’t think you would want me close’.

Elsa looks at her from the corner of her eye, gaze softer than Anna has ever seen it before. She can feel her face warming up and looks to the side to avoid embarrassing herself further. God, it’s so hard when Elsa just does stuff like that.

When they reach the private hall that separates the two master bedrooms, Elsa clears her throat and looks at her for a moment.

“I, ah.” Elsa clears her throat again. There’s colour to her face, Anna notes in surprise. “I’ve actually done some preparing for your arrival to make it more welcoming. I know— I hope you like it.” Elsa opens the door and Anna’s eyes go wide.

In contrast to the rest of the house, the private hall is coloured in a vibrant golden yellow. There’s an array of sunflower paintings that line the walls, everything from oil to watercolor. She takes it all in, seeing happiness in each brush stroke; she loves how beautifully loud it is.

She finds she recognizes a few of the artists. The others are new to her, but she quickly takes to their own unique style.

“I thought you would appreciate new blood,” Elsa says beside her, gaze heavy on Anna.

“Um— yeah!” Anna almost shouts. “I love it. Thank you…”

She’s really at a loss for words. Elsa did… this. For her. It seems crazy because it’s been years, and the last time they spoke it was formal and stiff. Now… Anna sees Elsa trying and that’s more than she could ever wish. She sees sunflowers growing on walls and pale cheeks turning pink.

She sees hope in that.

“It’s no trouble,” Elsa says. “Have you eaten yet? I don’t really know how to cook but I’m sure I could figure something out.”

Anna’s eyebrows raise at that. She assumed Elsa had a live-in chef, but apparently not. She guesses Elsa’s been a lot more alone than she first thought. Now that she thinks about it, she can’t remember seeing anyone besides the chauffeur.

“No, I’m okay. I had something earlier,” Anna says, purposely not mentioning the terrible anxiety induced stomach issues and resulting gas she had on the plane. “But, I thought you had help here?”

“I actually have an apartment in the city. It’s closer to work. I only use this place for company parties, like the upcoming one this Christmas.”

Anna nods, carefully choosing to keep her opinions about that to herself. She doesn’t agree with Elsa basically cutting herself off from them, even though she’s sure Elsa has her own reasons for doing so. It just seems so… lonely. Anna can’t understand it, but now isn’t the time to fight with her on this, not when things might be looking up.

“Well then, I guess… I’ll leave you to get settled in. Good night,” Elsa says, looking a little like she wants to stay something more but doesn’t know how. She takes a step toward Anna and then stops, instead nodding her head at her and turning around to make her way to the bedroom on the left.

Wait… That must mean…

After stumbling out a good night back and catching Elsa’s small smile as she slips into her room, Anna walks toward her own bedroom. Her Grandmother’s bedroom. The only other person besides Elsa and their parents that Anna felt truly close to.

She lightly touches the wood of the door, thinking back to all the times she used to knock on it until it opened up to soft wrinkles and a bright smile. Anna does it now, even though she knows no one will answer. She opens it herself and the smell of fresh sunflowers greets her instead of old perfume.

That night, while laying in bed surrounded by her grandmother’s presence and bundles of sunflowers, Anna types out a response to her mother’s text.

I promise I’ll try my hardest.

—-

Elsa is the definition of hot and cold.

That’s all Anna can think about as she skims through the bookshelves in Elsa’s study, eyes half the time on the books themselves, half the time on the other ever silent occupant in the room. She glances at Elsa now, head practically buried in whatever document is so important, reading glasses slipping from her nose every now and then. If Anna wasn’t so frustrated she would find it cute.

…Maybe she still finds it cute.

Anna grumbles to herself, now annoyed at both herself and Elsa. Not that Elsa would care much, seeing as how she’s successfully avoided Anna for the entire day and had no qualms with doing so. Unfortunately for Elsa, Anna had eventually found her. She has a workaholic for a sister, honestly it was a dead giveaway.

After finally choosing a book to read, Anna throws herself down on the plush loveseat in front of Elsa’s desk, sighing dramatically.

“Anna,” Elsa says without looking up, “please be quiet. I’m working.”

It’s a good thing Elsa reminded her. Anna almost forgot about the dozens of pages and documents and other ‘important things’ scattered over the large wooden desk.

“Y'know,” Anna starts, “this is supposed to be a sort of 'rekindling a sibling relationship’ trip. Not a business trip.” And to hit the point home, “Mom said.”

Elsa just sighs, like it’s Anna who doesn’t understand and it’s a bother to explain. She hates it when Elsa does this. It makes Anna feel dismissed, like she’s too naïve in the ways of the world, like she doesn’t belong by Elsa’s side.

“I know exactly what this trip is, Anna, but I have obligations. People that need and count on me to do my job. Besides, father gave me permission.”

“Can’t you do this some other time though? There has to be other people who can take over in your place. I just want to spend time with you.”

But Elsa isn’t listening, and just like that, Anna’s been pushed to the side again. She fights to keep her emotions in check, not wanting to lash out or probe at Elsa until she kicks her out of the study. She promised mother she would try and try she will. She just has to think of this as another challenge. Anna has never backed away from one before and she won’t start now.

With that in mind, Anna comes up with a plan. She gets up from the loveseat and moves over to the large window behind Elsa instead, taking a seat in one of the chairs that frame it. She flips through the book she’d picked up before, yellowing pages carrying the soft scent of age, and picks a poem to read out loud.

It takes a while of ignoring the scratch of Elsa’s fountain pen and occasional tapping against wood, but eventually Anna can see Elsa’s shoulders loosening and her head drifting to the side. Eventually…

“And their feet move,

Rhythmically, as tender

feet of Cretan girls

danced once around an

altar of love—”

“Crushing a circle in the soft smooth flowering grass,” Elsa finishes, turning her head to look back at Anna. “She loved Sappho.”

“Yeah,” Anna says, trying to memorize the delicate way Elsa had spoken those words. “Remember how she always used to read it to us as kids? I never knew what she was talking about, but I liked the sound of her voice.”

Elsa snuffs out a laugh, catching it behind her fist. “She was a remarkable and elegant woman. Very eloquent. It’s not your fault you couldn’t keep up.”

“Hey! I am plenty eloquent!”

“You are not.”

“Are too!”

“Are not.”

“Are too!”

“Okay,” Elsa says, turning around fully; attention on her, fully. “Prove it then. Read me more poems.”

And, well, a challenge is a challenge, even when it’s clearly not one at all. Anna settles deeper into the soft cushions and grabs a throw blanket from a nearby basket. She skims through the pages until she finds one of her favourites, one of their grandmother’s favourites.

Elsa never ends up finishing those papers but Anna thinks she doesn’t seem to mind too much, not when she’s looking at her with those deep blue eyes of hers, holding onto every word that escapes her lips.

She feels cherished.

—-

Ever so slowly, they fall into a routine.

The first half of the day they spend separately, solely because Elsa rises with the sun and Anna can sleep until noon. Once Anna is awake enough, she sets to reacquainting herself with the house, exploring all the places she remembers and discovering others she forgot about. It provides her with enough entertainment to last a solid week because of the sheer size of the house.

In the evening, she’ll make some tea and whip up something sweet for the both of them to share in Elsa’s study. Anna will mainly spend her time silently reading poetry in Elsa’s company, but as the day goes on and the sky becomes more orange, she’ll choose a poem to read out loud simply to engage Elsa in something other than business. It works for the most part and it always gives Anna warm fuzzies when they finish each other’s sentences.

The only issue Anna has with this routine is that… she gets bored after a while. She’s never stayed at their winter house for more than a few days at a time, and now after two weeks, things have gotten a bit repetitive. She tells Elsa as such.

“Hm… Do you still enjoy painting?” Elsa says one day, over tea and fruit cake in the conservatory. She has one hand on those dreaded papers and another on an unused chess piece. “I can order you some supplies if you would like.”

“Painting?” Anna’s rusty, she hasn’t done it for a while now, but it would give her something to practice on and she would even have pretty paintings to show for it. Maybe Elsa would let her hang some up? “Yeah, that would be awesome! Thank you, Elsa!”

“It’s no problem.”

“I can go outside and paint the fountain out in front because it’s always really pretty this time of year and, oh—! I saw a rabbit hole the other day, maybe if I’m quiet enough I can paint them when they come out. But, oh, I don’t know if I can stay out that long and not freeze, and hey! Are you listening to me, Elsa?”

“I am.” Elsa’s reading over something on the papers in her hand and she’s still holding that chess piece. It’s been her turn for like five minutes now.

“You’re so not.”

“I am. Look, I just captured your bishop,” Elsa says, knocking the piece over and taking it. Anna stops, opens her mouth, closes it. “You should pay better attention.”

“That’s —! Okay… fine. You’re on. They don’t call me the Chess Master for nothing!”

“Actually,” corrects Elsa, “only you call yourself that. Also, you only 'win’ all the time because you play against yourself.”

Anna glares at her. “That’s not very nice to say to the Chess Master.”

Elsa snorts at that, her nose scrunching up cutely and oh, there goes that little pitter patter of Anna’s heart. She pushes that feeling down, down, down, deep into places she can’t reach; it’s a habit by now.

At the end of their five games, Anna still reigns as Chess Master. Elsa doesn’t seem to mind, but Anna goads her on until she agrees to another match, just for the fun of it.

—-

It takes two days for the paint supplies to show up and when they do, Anna immediately bundles herself in her coat and mittens, feeling like a child again. She takes to the outdoors and even though her skin feels like ice, she finds a little quiet spot on their property to sit and paint.

Later that day she spies Elsa looking at the new addition to her study, a little 8" by 10" painting of a single sunflower surrounded by blankets of crystal-like snow. When Elsa’s fingers go to trace the signature at the bottom, Anna’s stomach breaks out in butterflies again.

This feels like trouble. Anna’s always been so bad at staying away from it.

—-

“I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream. I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam—”

“Isn’t love at first sight beautiful?” Anna whispers to Elsa from her side of the couch, snuggled underneath dozens of the softest blankets and looking like a burrito. “It’s like magic.”

“It’s stupid,” Elsa says, wrapped up in her own set of blankets on the other side of the couch. Anna can barely see Elsa’s eyes glaring at the television screen, she’s so covered. “They meant once before and that was when they were children.”

Anna reaches out a hand from her little fort to pass the popcorn bowl over to Elsa, licking her buttery fingers with a giggle. Elsa can be so traditional. Sure, Anna admits she, herself, is the furthest thing from a real life fairy tale, but she’s got spirit and a whole lot of faith, and isn’t that what counts? As long as she stays wishing for prince charmings, she’ll get one, right?

It’s better than wishing for the princess, anyway.

“Sometimes it’s not about knowing someone, but knowing someone. You get me?” Elsa looks at her in a way that implies she very much doesn’t. “It’s like… that feeling you get when you first look at them. You have no idea who they are but at the same time you do and you know you’re meant to be. Like soulmates!”

“That’s called infatuation—”

“That’s called true love!”

Anna jumps off the couch, sending her hoard of blankets and pillows to the ground. She dances along with Aurora on the screen, the whimsical sound of her voice filling the otherwise quiet living room. Elsa looks up at her with a raised eyebrow, somehow still looking dignified even with her hair finally pulled down and Anna’s Gucci rose robe tied around her waist. She looks relaxed, less like the unapproachable business woman Anna is sure she is at the office, and more like the sister Anna remembers.

If acting like a fool causes this side of Elsa to come out, Anna will gladly give up her cushy life for one at the circus.

“I think the wine has finally gotten to you,” Elsa teases, pointing to the numerous glasses and empty wine bottle sitting on the side table. “Maybe we should cut you off.”

Anna gasps like that would mean the end of the world, and maybe it really would, because she truly feels like right now the world just boils down to the dazed, lazy look in Elsa’s eyes. It sets her on fire; makes her act stupid, more stupid.

“No, you can't— can’t take away my happiness! I won’t let you!”

In a failed attempt to catch Elsa off guard, Anna flings herself, fuzzy bunny slippers and all, into Elsa’s lap. She lands in a heap into Elsa’s arms, drunken giggles spilling from her lips even as she curses Elsa for having way too much experience in catching her. Elsa just looks at her fondly and rolls her up into a little burrito, positioning her so that Anna is sitting sideways in her lap.

For a minute, neither Anna nor Elsa say anything at all, attention half on the movie, half on each other. Anna’s face is feeling warm from more than just the alcohol, and when she finally looks at Elsa, she just keeps her eyes there, taking in every fragile detail and burning it into her brain. She wants to memorize the way her platinum blonde hair spills down her shoulders, how her eyes contain all the stars in the galaxy, how the wine makes her lips loose and soft.

She wants to keep this warmth locked inside her mind for safe keeping. Just in case.

“So… does that mean you don’t believe in true love? Or… you’ve never felt that way before?” Anna says, feeling the tipsiness Elsa was referring to.

Elsa doesn’t say anything for a few moments, only looking at Anna in a way that makes her heart ache fiercely. She holds her gaze until it’s too much to take.

“I know what it feels like,” Elsa says slowly, like she’s trying to figure out what exactly she wants to say. “That also means I know how dangerous it can be. Sometimes… it’s not worth exploring.”

Anna disagrees with that opinion so much she doesn’t even know where to start, and that means a lot considering her history of ex-boyfriends. She thinks even if it ends badly, even if it breaks her heart again and again, just the fact that there was a chance it could work out made everything worth it. Life is all about taking risks, sometimes you just gotta go for it if you want that happy ending.

But the Anna right now doesn’t know how to articulate all of this like how she wants to, so she just says, “It’ll always be worth exploring.”

“It’s different with you, little sunflower. You're… you’re everything that’s good in the world. They don’t know what they lost.”

“I don’t know about that. Sometimes I think I’m too naïve. Don’t know how I didn’t see that last one coming.”

Elsa’s look turns as sharp as a knife. “No, none of that was your fault. Don’t ever blame yourself for what Hans did to you.”

“Mm. I guess,” Anna says, not wanting to talk about him of all people. “I just always wanted that prince charming, y'know? Is that too much to ask for?”

“No, it’s not.” Elsa looks vaguely uncomfortable, something sad far away in her eyes. “Don’t mind me and my bitterness. If you want that, that’s okay. I just want to see you happy.”

Anna shrugs off the blankets wrapped around her so she can sit up properly in Elsa’s lap, wanting to face her completely now. She places her hands gently on Elsa’s cheeks, thumbing over the apples and under her eyes.

“You say that like I’m the only one who matters. Elsa, don’t you get it? Anyone would be lucky to get the chance to love you. You’re beautiful in every single way.”

There’s a hitch in Elsa’s breath, and Anna thinks if she listens hard enough she could hear both of their heartbeats pounding in rhythm together. Anna wets her lips, feeling hot all over when Elsa’s eyes dart down to watch the movement. Anna feels like fire from the way Elsa looks at her like she’s hung the sun, the moon, and all the stars in the sky. Looks at her like—

“Elsa…”

Elsa pulls back and the moment breaks, and Anna sees it, sees how things could go and knows she doesn’t want that. She brings Elsa back to her, fitting their hands together again and reaching for that special feeling they had a second ago.

“Please, please stay,” Anna begs, quiet and fragile. “Don’t go, stay with me here.”

And maybe if Anna’s wrong, if this is all wrong, she can later blame it on the wine and the loose lips for that maybe-could-be moment. She won’t fight it if Elsa chooses to forget about it.

But right now, she squeezes Elsa’s hands and doesn’t say anything beyond those few words. And Elsa… stays. She relaxes around Anna’s body, head falling onto her shoulder and breathing in deeply. Anna’s hands come around to stroke up and down her back, thinking about risks and exploring places that scares her.

They don’t end up talking about it but after that, Elsa sticks to her a little longer, looks at her a little differently. Anna refuses to think too deeply about it.

Trouble, she’s in such trouble.

—-

When Anna sees the giant tree in their foyer, the realization that Christmas is here hits her like a ton of bricks. Between Elsa’s birthday and the blooming feelings she’s just starting to examine, she had totally forgotten about her most favourite holiday of the year. In Anna’s panic and excitement, Elsa had just told her not to worry and that she has everything under control.

And that’s how Anna finds herself now, sipping champagne in her emerald evening dress, listening to the noise of the party-goers through the doors of the ballroom. She’s been chatting with everyone all night as the main host of the company party. Elsa, a silent support behind her. She doesn’t mind, Elsa’s never been comfortable with being the centre of attention and for Anna, it’s like a Christmas present itself. She loves meeting all the new people in Elsa’s life, watching how they interact with her with such familiarity. 

It warms her heart. She knows Elsa’s older than her and can take care of herself, but Anna still worries sometimes. It’s nice to know Elsa has people who care about her.

“Tired?” Anna turns her head and sees Elsa exit the ballroom, clad in a white pantsuit and the little crystal brooch Anna gifted her for her birthday. “It’s already twelve. Merry Christmas, sunflower.”

“Merry Christmas, Elsa,” Anna says back, hugging her Burberry coat tighter. She just wanted a little breather from the heat a bunch of people in one space brought. She forgot she wasn’t dressed for the cold. “I can’t believe it’s this late. You think it’s time to have everyone head home?”

“Yes. I’ll say my goodbye’s in a bit. First, I want a second of your attention.”

Anna’s lips split into a smile when Elsa reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out two navy boxes, one small and the other long. Elsa hands her the little one first, wanting with impatient eyes for Anna to open it.

“Oh, Elsa…”

She opens the box with careful fingers, heart thumping wildly in her chest. Two little crystal sunflower earrings sit on the cushion, the gold of the petals gleaming in under the night sky.

“They’re gorgeous… Elsa—”

“Hold on,” Elsa interrupts, pushing the other box into her hands while taking the earrings back, “there’s this one too.”

Anna can’t wipe the grin off her face, eyes twinkling as she opens the next box just as carefully as the next, butterflies fluttering when she sees the absolutely beautiful matching sunflower necklace. A large white stone sits in the middle of the flower, sparkling like the snow.

“Elsa this… I can’t top this!” Anna wails, face burning.

“You don’t need to. This is my gift to you. Now, turn around so I put it on you.”

Anna pulls her hair to the side, sucking in a breath when she feels Elsa’s presence at her back, her hands cool and delicate against her neck. She shakes when Elsa closes the clasp and hopes to God that Elsa can’t feel her trembles.

Anna slips the earrings already in her ears out, exchanging them for her new pair. She twists to the side to show them off.

“How do I look?”

“Beautiful,” Elsa whispers, tucking a strand of Anna’s hair behind her ear.

Suddenly, everything feels way too much and not enough all at once. Elsa’s touch burns her skin, almost as if blue flames are licking at the shell of her ear. She needs… she needs this, needs this from Elsa, always. It’s a beautiful, horrible, unmistakable realization that almost brings Anna to her knees. She knows now that no one else could ever compare to her, never fill that place in Anna’s heart that spells out Elsa’s name.

Slowly, Anna closes her hand around Elsa’s, still cupping the side of her face. She ignores the fear curling in her belly, that feeling that never brought her any good, and chooses to take a risk. She surges forward to press her lips against Elsa’s, hoping that this one time, she’s right.

Elsa’s lips fall slack against her own, but then they’re pushing, and just like that Anna’s falling, sinking, diving head first into this feeling called true love.

Sometimes… sometimes, she thinks true love isn’t always about the first meeting, the instant dip in your stomach and flip of your heart; sometimes it’s about the triumphs and the failures, the years spent growing with each other, and the slow, creeping feeling of belonging.

Sometimes it’s about sunflowers and snow and being each other’s forever.

[onstarsandiron]

Cannon Character Descriptions

Here’s a big master post of cannon character physical descriptions, for all your related needs. Let me know if there’s anything I missed/should add!

Ana

"She had warm bronze skin and wide golden-brown eyes, full lips, and a heart-shaped face. Her hair was as dark as space itself, but it always curled into tangles. She wore it atop her head in a long braid and shaved the sides. She was moderately tall, solidly built for a life of evading death at every turn, and wore hand-me-down coats like the red one she wore now and darned trousers that never fit right. She looked like a girl from any part of the Iron Kingdom—and nowhere all at once.” (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Ana)

“Tattered burgundy coat, a Metroid at her hip, long black hair in a renegade braid, and looking like she hadn’t bathed in a week—the girl must’ve been an outlaw.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Robb)

When Ana arrives at the palace and is shown to her new quarters she has a little break down in the bathroom -- and who hasn’t had one of those? -- and shaves her hair off. In SoS, 6-months have passed since the coronation day and her hair is describe merely as “short”.

Di

As D09: “His hood was pulled low to disguise the slats and plates that made up his face, without a nose or ears or eyebrows. He was more dented than other Metals, having fallen through mine shafts on Cerces and been shot at by mercenaries on Iliad. She felt bad for a particular ding on his forehead, but she had apologized a thousand times for accidentally running him over with a skysailer.” (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Ana)

As Di/Dimitri: “Redheaded and dark-eyed, a strong jaw, and broad shoulders that filled a slightly-too-small lavender evening coat. He smiled at her—lopsided, imperfect. He looked familiar, but she couldn’t place from where. ... So close, the individual strands of his hair looked woven with sunlight, his skin pale—but not like Jax’s, more like a boy who had never seen the sun." (HoI, IV: Iron Will, Ana)

“So she memorized how the light from the windows slanted across the sharp edges of his face, the way he leaned toward her like a shield, how there were a thousand stars in his eyes, which sometimes made them shine as silver as moonlight—as they did now.” (HoI, IV: Iron Will, Ana)

Di received a cut on his cheek during Coronation Day that is held with silver stitches during SoS to prevent the cut from revealing the metal underneath. He also has a little breakdown -- as one does -- in which he busts up the skin on his knuckles, which he hides then with gloves.

Throughout SoS, Di’s hair is often remarked very specifically as “Blood red”, and he wears quite a bit of black.

Jax

"A Solani. The one from the skysailer. He must’ve been close to Robb’s age, but his silver hair made him look old—ancient—and his skin shimmered as if starlight hid just beneath. He wore a ruffly purple evening coat, golden filigree decorating the collar to match the lining, and buttons so polished they gleamed. Underneath that insufferably garish jacket was a silk shirt, stained with what Robb figured was his blood. A pair of goggles sat around his neck.” (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Robb)

Wears purple often; after the event with Koren Vey, his skin literally glows. “”It’s a long story, but yes, I’m a glowlight. It makes reading in the dark riveting.” (SoS, III: Starless, Jax) Also in SoS, Jax has to chop his own hair off during the final fight, resulting in him sporting a shoulder-length cut during Erik’s funeral; according to Robb, he looks no less dashing for it.

Robb

“He looked the most like their father, broad shouldered and stocky, with hair that curled like the lies that fell from his tongue.” (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Robb)

Like his mother and brother, Robb also has olive skin and signature Valerio-blue eyes, often compared to the Erosian sky. In HoI, Jax threatened to make a short joke (mind you, Jax is tall); in SoS, Robb notes that he was always shorter than his brother, but a recent growth spurt had now made them eye-to-eye.

In the conclusion of HoI, Di -- then HIVEd -- made his tracking chip go haywire and an impromptu amputation was needed, cutting his right arm off between his elbow and his shoulder. Robb got a cybernetic prosthetic about a month before the events of SoS.

Elara

“She was around Ana’s age -- eighteen, maybe -- with shoulder length silver hair that partially shadowed her sharp face, and wide violet eyes rimmed with kohl.  Her lips were painted black to match the rest of her wardrobe. She was short and curvy, with wide hips and thick legs that tapered into knee-high gravity boots. She was a Solani like Jax, but her skin was darker, reminding Ana of the cold deserts on Cerces. There was a wire that looped from her right ear down into her collar and disappeared. A hearing apparatus.” (SoS, I: Starship, Ana)

Xu

"Then -- like twin stars igniting -- moonlight-colored eyes flickered to life on a face made of metal slats, forming angular cheekbones and mouth and chin. There was a horrible, deep scrape across its temple that had been soldered closed. A Metal.” (SoS, I: Starship, Ana)

Malifare

“She walked with the grace of a dancer, floating without a sound. The pins in her flaxen hair matched her black dress. Floor-length, high collar, the insignia of the crown on her sleeve.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Di)

“Flaxen hair, narrow face, wearing the deep purple of a royal handmaiden." (HoI, IV: Iron Will, Di)

Siege

“The captain’s black hair framed her brown face in wild, electrifying curls, glowing with interwoven fiber optics, simmering orange like a stoked fire— Oh, Ana could tell by the color that she was mad.” (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Ana)

Siege has green eyes. When she isn’t mad her hair is typically a golden yellow, though it grows dull when she’s drained or injured, and can be blue though it happened very rarely. As a teenager -- in a very hazy recollection by Di -- she’s described as someone who never smiles.

Talle

“Talle—short and thin, with black hair in a pixie cut and hands so steady she could slit a throat clean while navigating the skyways of Nevaeh...” (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Ana)

In Jax’s flashback in Soul of Stars, Talle is described as tall with long black hair, but I’ll just assume that Talle is simply tall compared to an 8 or 9 year-old Jax. (SoS, II: Starless, Jax)

Also, her voice is often noted as sweet.

Lenda

““Seriously?” Lenda groaned, brushing back her floppy dishwater-blond hair. She was solid, with narrow brown eyes and tawny skin with rosy undertones. She displayed the scars on her arms like trophies—battles won in the fighting arenas of Iliad. Lenda was twenty and unafraid of everything— Except, maybe for Palavar.” (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Ana)

Riggs

"Riggs, fiddling with a ball bearing in his mechanical leg, grumbled a reply and heaved it off the table, setting it on the bench beside him. He’d lost his right leg to the Plague twenty years ago—cut it off himself right above the knee. He lost his family to the disease on Eros, and kept a photo of his daughter in a silver locket around his neck. Sometimes at night, Ana heard him talking to her in his dreams." (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Ana)

Wick

““No one [likes Palavar],” rumbled Wick, who had a habit of being quiet. He listened, and that made him a talented communications specialist. He absorbed languages like a sponge, so many that Ana could only hope to wrap her tongue around a quarter of them. He was Cercian by birth, the markings under his eyes so faded Ana couldn’t tell which clan he hailed from, and he never told, having left that life years ago. His skIn was a shade darker than Siege’s, with a warm hue to it—like the dawn.” (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Ana)

Barger

““Eh, don’t bother me. Three jacks,” said Barger, a stout man in his mid-twenties with a ginger mustache. His fingers were always grease stained, nails ripped short, the signs of a tireless weapons mechanic.” (HoI, II: Iron Ships, Ana)

Cynthia Valerio

“Lady Valerio looked wicked, from her bloodred lipstick to her bloodred dress, as she gave a gracious bow.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Ana)

“Tall and thin, with olive skin and graying brown hair swept into a bun, cheekbones so sharp they could cut ice. She wore a finely detailed coat and trousers, a Valerio crest pinned above her heart. She appraised the small crew with shrewd blue eyes—he knew that color. He knew it achingly well. The color of Erosian skies.” (HoI, III: Iron Blood, Jax)

Mercer Valerio

Robb is his spitting image, except that Mercer wore a thick beard.

Erik Valerio

“At nineteen, Erik Valerio was dashing, popular, and conniving in a way that granted him whatever he wanted. He looked like their mother—tall and olive skinned, a sharp face, with straight dark hair and a smile that made you want to trust him.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Robb)

“His brother stood blocking the doorway in a deep brown leather jacket with mink fur at the collar and dark trousers. His boots were well polished and decorated with the Valerio insignia—a snake eating its own tail. He filled the doorway just like he had in Robb’s nightmares, his hair short, the sides shaved with celestial designs, and he narrowed his eyes like their mother always did—disapproving, but not surprised, as if nothing Robb would ever do would be worthy of approval.” (SoS, IV: Star Crossed, Robb)

Erik and Cynthia often match, both wearing red at the celebration for Erik becoming the heir, both wearing black at the pre-coronation ball, and both -- this time including Robb -- wearing white at the coronation itself.

Nicholi

“The Emperor, clad in royal purple, had a hand on his wife’s shoulder. He looked like all the pictures she’d seen in the newsfeeds. Golden-brown eyes and rich brown skin, like the Grand Duchess, a full beard over a strong face.” (HoI, III: Iron Blood, Ana)

Selena

“Beside him, his wife, the Empress, smiled out of the portrait, brown curly hair and Valerio-blue eyes.” (HoI, III: Iron Blood, Ana)

Rhys, Wylan, and Tobias Armorov

Ana’s three older brothers are described as having dark curly hair, and the youngest, Tobias, has Valerio-blue eyes. They’re described further in short snippets Ana recalls in the palace, chasing the ghosts of their voices:

“Rhys— He let her taste the sweets from the kitchen. The scent of cinnamon. Warm brown eyes, a melting smile. He used to kiss her bruises when her middle brother, Wylan—a cocky smile and a mess of black curls—knocked her down when they pretended to be outlaws. All the horseplaying would scare her youngest brother—Tobias. Valerio blue eyes and a small smile and a love of violins and sweet candies and stories.” (HoI, IV: Iron Will, Ana)

Lord Rasovant

“An older man, graying beard braided down his chest, appeared at the far end of the hallway. Dark eyes and deep wrinkles and ghostly-pale skin. The clank of decorative medals on his breast accompanied his footsteps. He was dressed in a simple royal-purple evening coat with uneven tails, gilded buttons and filigree across the collar and sleeves.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Di)

The Grand Duchess

“Ana drank the woman in, from the delicate wrinkles across her face to her silvery-white hair pulled back into a simple bun, making her cheekbones look sharp enough to cut. Her skin was the color of soft earth and speckled with age, her hands bony knobs. She looked old, but in a terrifying and timeless way, the way mountains looked old but immovable.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Ana)

She also has “...stone-cut green eyes...” (HoI, IV: Iron Will, Robb), similar in description to Siege’s

Wynn Wysteria

Wynn has a freckled face and long, curly strawberry-red hair. (HoI, IV: Iron Will, Ana)

Viera

“She was tall, with white-blond hair and arrowhead-shaped markings under her eyes—heritage markings for certain Cercian clans.” (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Di)

Messiers

“A patrol of six Messiers appeared in the doorway. They were sharp, metallic. Made of planes and slats she knew well, because they looked like D09. Like Metals. Because once, they had been. Now HIVE’d, the Messiers’ blue eyes blazed like virtue incarnate. They moved in unison, their blue-and-black uniforms pristine, shined boots making solid thumps on the masonry floor as they marched into the shrine.”  (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Ana)

Mokuba

“A tall, burly gentleman in a stained long coat and trousers, the seams frayed and boots greasy.” (HoI, I: Iron Theif, Ana)

Redbeard

“He had been an imposing man, as thick as two men. He had a braided red beard that reached halfway down the front of his barrel chest, and it glowed with optics the way Siege’s did, although Ana much preferred the way they looped into her curls.” (SoS, III: Starlit, Ana)

Cullen

Ana spun around to the owner of the voice, a tall androgynous person with long black hair that reached well below their waist, and warm brown skin, decked in gold jewelry and a coat the color of a nebula. They grinned at her, and the neon implants in their cheeks glowed a brilliant teal. (SoS, IV: Star Crossed, Ana)

[aldahi-rp]

Saving Rumplestiltskin

Rumplestiltskin steals a cursed artifact. Now he must deal with the increasingly debilitating effects of the curse while he and Belle go on a quest to collect the ingredients to make a cure before it is too late.

(Set in Dark Castle Time)

[[MORE]]

Chapter 1: The Eye of Eternity

The Eye of Eternity was a an inky, midnight blue stone, with flecks of gold and white that resembled stars strewn across the night sky. If no one was observing it, it was said that the stars churned in galaxies eternally spinning, but whenever it was looked at they were always still.

But the trick wasn't to look AT the stone itself. The trick, was to look at your OWN reflection in the polished surface. THAT was when it showed you the FUTURE.

True, Rumplestiltskin already had a way to look into the future with his seer sight, but it was in bits and pieces, sometimes tangled, sometimes confusing, and always imperfect. And anyway, if there was one thing Rumplestiltskin knew, it was that one could never have too much magic. Even if The Eye didn't bring clearity to what he already saw, at least in taking it no one ELSE would have it, and so he would have no competition in his foreknowledge of the future.

Rumplestiltskin examined his prize with giddy excitement. All he had to do was reach out and take it. But first, a little test....

Clearing his mind he let his eyes rest on his reflection, slightly distorted in the shiney, domed surface... At first there was nothing. Perhaps he had come all this way on a false lead, or perhaps someone else had already taken the prize and this was a mere decoy.

But then his reflection began to shift. The Rumplestiltskin looking back at him was pale, shivering, with empty eyes, barely clinging to consciousness.

Wracked with sudden fear, Rumplestiltskin began to search the tangled web that was his own seer's sight for a corresponding image, and how to avoid it. Images, possible futures, likely and unlikely, branched, and looped, and twisted back on themselves in his mind's eye. If he could only find the thread that lead to this conclusion he could snip it off at the base and prevent this future from ever happening...

But even as he searched though the jumbled images in his mind, the image reflected on the stone changed again, and now it was Belle. Belle, his flicker of light in an ocean of darkness. Belle, who's sweet, heart shaped face was distorted by pain, curled into a tight ball admits broken glass, crying despretly on the floor. The only good thing in Rumplestiltskin's cold and dark world was in obvious pain!

And Rumplestiltskin's fear at his own fate temporarily dissolved into a boiling hot rage. Whoever had caused Belle to be in that pain had just forfeited their exsistence. He moved from searching his sight for the image of himself pale and empty-eyed, to the image of Belle, crying in desperation and pain. He was going to find out who or what it was that had caused Belle to be in such turmoil... And then he would gleefully destroy it!

With one quick motion Rumple snatches up the Eye of Eternity....

...And drew back his hand with a sudden sharp hiss!

Perhaps he should have checked it for enchantments or curses before touching it (he definitely should have) but he had been distracted, reaching into his future sight searching for answers to two very upsetting problems, rather then here, in the present, paying attention to what he was doing.

An icy cold was seeping into his hand from his palm where he had touched The Eye, into his fingers, and up his wrist. A deep, throbbing, bone chilling cold.

With a nasty snarl at the gem (as though to let it know how personally displeased with it he was), and a flick of his wrist, the gem vanished in a cloud of dark smoke, to re-appear in a locked safe, behind a locked vault, behind a locked door deep in the recesses of his dark castle (he wouldn't want his maid to accidentally FIND it while snooping rather then cleaning... Particularly not now that he knew what touching it could do).

The numbing cold was creeping up into his fore arm. Rumplestiltskin held his hand at the wrist and flexed it twice making a pained expression. He would have to take care of this. With a flamboyant gesture for the benefit of noone, and a plume of dark smoke, Rumplestiltskin was back in his lab, the cold creeping now up his elbow and towards his shoulder.

He started at once with a series of spells and enchantments to stop the progression of the curse, or at least to slow it down. He wasn't entirely sure what it did (other then that bone chilling cold) but he would definitely prefer it not go any further then it already had.

Even as he worked on the spells to nullify the creeping cold, he went through his cupboards, pulling out bottles, setting up a heat distiller, measuring this and that, and then slicing into his frozen hand, to drop curse darkened blood into a vile of shimmering clear liquid. He set the vile on the distiller to draw out and isolate the elements of the curse in order to discover their exact effect...

...and now nothing to do but wait....

Rumplestiltskin went back to his seer's sight, searching for those two disturbing images he had seen in The Eye. Shifting through the various possible futures was tricky. Bits and pieces branched off in different directions based on choices made by billions of individuals thousands of times a day. The future split and branched, split and branched, until the potential outcomes overlapped, twisting back on themselves into a tangled mass.

Even after all this time it still wasn't easy to straitened out the twisted threads of fate (hence The Eye). But with enough patient searching he found what he was looking for. The two images, it turned out, were actually quite close together and on the same time line, which made it easy: he could avoid them BOTH by preventing the same event... Now, all he had to do was follow that thread back to it's source so that he could see what he must avoid in order to...

...there was a gentle tap at the door.

Rumplestiltskin scowled, but with a wave of his hand the door opened on its own.

"What?" He demanded impatiently. (Despite his spellwork the cold had seeped passed his shoulder and was moving into his torso.)

"You're, uh, your tea is ready." Belle said, glancing around him curiously to get a glimpse of the contents of the lab (because she wasn't strictly allowed in there).

Rumplestiltskin glanced at the dark vile being concentrated on the distiller. There was time still to wait. He might as well have a cup of tea, it may help him think as he tried to mentally unwind the tangled threads of fate to find what must be avoided.

"Very well." he said, and he stepped out, with a flippant gesture the door swung shut and locked itself, while Belle craned her neck to see the forbidden mysteries disappear behind it.

She poured him his tea, and Rumplestiltskin wrapped his cold hand around the warm cup. He lifted the cup (his favorite, chipped cup) to his face to inhale the heat of the steam, and then sipped the warming liquid, trying to counter the bitter cold that was rapidly overtaking him.

The heat, if not the tea itsself, did help him to think, and since he had found the disturbing images once, he could relatively easily find them again. Now all he had to do was untangle the thread and follow it back to its source to see what he must avoid to prevent this particular future....

And suddenly he was so furious he wanted to hurl the fragile cup he was holding across the room into the adjacent wall!

Belle was at his side at once. "What is it?!" She asked in alarm. One moment he had been calmly sipping tea, the NEXT Belle felt like she might just have to try to prevent murder!

"Stay out of the room with the black door on the third floor!" He snapped at her.

"What?" She was shocked, confused. Where had THAT come from?

"Why? What's behind it?"' her bright eyes were burning with that same curiosity she had had when she had tried to peer into his lab.

"None of your concern!" He shot back, but then thought better of it. That would only make her MORE curious, and thus MORE likely to go into the forbidden room. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself.

"I have recently acquired a very powerful magical item" he amendmended, "It's CURSED." He wrinkled his nose on the word "cursed" and pointed at her for emphasis. "If you touch it" he spread his hands in mock invitation, "I won't be able to cure you."

Belle blinked, then her eyes warmed and she smiled, leaning in a little TOO close.

"So, uh...." She said slowly, feeling out the taste of the words as she said them. "You're.... Just trying to... protect me."

She took one of his hands in both of her's and tried to calm him with her touch.

Her hands were warm..... They melted some of the aching, numbing curse induced cold... She looked into his eyes and smiled like the sun itself melting him on the inside as well.

Rumplestiltskin looked down at her delicate hands wrapped around his. He soaked up her thawing warmth, then looked up into her eyes....

...And then all of a sudden realized what was happening and jerked his hand away.

"Don't read too much into it, Dearie. I look after all my things, you're just another one of my pretty possessions I don't want damaged."

Belle froze... Her warm eyes turned hurt, then angry, then cold. Then she straitened up and smoothed her apron in a professional, detached manor. And then Belle: Rumplestiltskin's one and only friend, was gone, to be replaced by Belle: the Dark One's unpaid employee.

"I have dishes to wash" she said curtly. "I'll be back for the cups and saucers when your finished." And she turned on her heels and walked out of the room at a clipped, brisk pace.

Rumple watched her go. He wanted to stop her. He wanted to order her to stay. Her warmth had almost melted the ice that was now seeping through most of his torso and into his other arm...

But it was better this way. Safer for both of them.

The Dark One couldn't have "friends". "Friends" were a liability. They could be used against you (Belle already had been used against him once) and even if you kept them safe, they could betray you, and would certainly eventually die. No, friends were not a safe endeavor. Not for the Dark One.

It was better this way.

His tea had grown cold (or maybe he could just no longer feel it's heat?) Anyway, he had no further interest in it. He left his cup, still half full and returned to the lab where, by now, the consentration should be almost complete.

At the end of a long array of twisting tubes and candles was a little vile of black liquid. Rumplestiltskin picked it up and examined it. He extended his magical awareness and examined it that way too. It was done enough...

With a wave of his hand 3 different bottles of various colors appeared before him. Rumplestiltskin dripped exactly one drop of the concentrated curse into each bottle, then set the consentration aside for future use.

The first bottle was a vivid glowing purple, and this he tipped into a stone basin lined with ruins and sigils. The potion began to smoke and boil, and Rumplestiltskin waved a hand over it. With a delicate balance of magic, chemistry, and force of will he wafted through the smoke searching for answers....

It wasn't a curse of cold, or freezing, as he had thought. It was a curse of un-life. And the cold was just the first of 6 stages.... The last of which would be...

...well, it wasn't death, exactly...

It was something WORSE.

It was...

Not alive, but not dead. Not here, but not entirely gone either.... life without a mind, or will, or soul.... Unable to think or move or feel... Just cold.... Cold, and alive, but empty... forever.

Rumple wanted to smash something again... but he didn't. He was under something of a time constraint just now.

...and just how MUCH of a time constraint exactly?

With a wave of his hand the basin was empty and the smoke cleared. He took the second bottle, this one a grey and white swirl.... And tipped it in.

It turned gold and green.... Rumple leaned forward to read the swirling patterns in the liquid.

48 hours.

He had two days.

He MIGHT be able to slow it down some with all of his magic and careful spellwork, but that wouldn't hold it back by much. He had done what he could already and the cold had managed to spread throughout most of his body.

....So....

So, he had two days.

With a wave of his hand this too vanished and he reached for the third bottle. This one electric green. Rumple touched the bottle almost affectionately. This was the important one. This, hopefully, would tell him how to BREAK this curse... Or at least where to start.

He poured it carefully into the basin, his hands dancing just above the surface of the liquid, plucking at invisible cords of magic, playing a tune only the magically adept could hear, until the glowing green liquor turned to something like molten glass

Rumple grinned in manic anticipation, forgetting for the moment the icey cold that numbed his hands and enveloped most of his body

He pulled up all his dark power, filling his freezing hands with it, dropping in a gold thread, a flower petals, a bit of this and a touch of that, a drop from each of the other potions.... A snip of his own hair....

He took a deep breathe, pushed away the feeling of ice and numbing cold, pushed away unhelpful thoughts such as "I'm going to die", and with a combination of magic and will he reached into the basin and pulled out a glowing crystal....

He felt it with his mind, more then looking directly at it. It wasn't a complete answer... But it wasn't bad at all. Certainly something he could work with. The crystal showed a repeated list of ingredients that SHOULD make up a potion, and a cure (though, Rumple would have to experiment with the exact amounts).

Most of the ingredients he already had on hand, save for two. That would be alright tho, they could be tricky to come by, but not difficult for the Dark One.

....That only left....

With a wave of his hand the basin and the liquor inside it vanished (though he kept the crystal for future reference.) Then he sat down at his spinning wheel to think....

The event that lead to the two disturbing images, the event that had started the thread of fate he had been trying so hard to avoid, the image that had made him want to hurl his favorite tea cup across the room...

...had been TOUCHING The EYE OF ETERNITY.

Rumplestiltskin scowled. He should have known better! ...but it was too late for that now.

The problem, was that this particular thread of fate branched into two distinct outcomes. In one outcome Rumplestiltskin was ultimately reunited with his son, as it should be. In the other, his thread of fate darkened, and no longer crossed the threads of other people, or of the timeline itsself...

And what was the difference between these two drastically different outcomes? What must he do to ensure he got the one he wanted?

The cold in his hands had receded somewhat to be replaced with a stiff numbness. It was difficult to judge the tension in his spinning when he couldn't feel the thread between his fingers. Oh well, the purpose wasn't to make uniform strands of golden thread. The purpose, was to clear his mind, and shift through the competing time lines of fate to insure he got the one he wanted.

He carefully examined the branching strands of time in his minds eye, while before him the familiar wheel turned and turned.

...He didn't like what he was seeing.

Always in the futures where Rumplestiltskin recovered and ultimately found his son, Belle was to stay by his side until he completed the cure. That was bad enough in and of itself... but in absolutely all of the potential futures where he survived there was also that image of Belle, shattered and sobbing in pain admits the broken glass. And worse still, (he couldn't be sure, but it seemed to him) that HE was the cause of her pain...

Did this mean he would have to hurt her somehow? That he himself was going to be the source of her suffering that he had been so eager to destroy only hours ago? Would Rumplestiltskin end up having to sacrifice his one and only friend in order to save himself?

"Your supper's ready." Belle said, startling him out of his dark thoughts. Apparently she had gotten over her hurt feelings because she was once again sweet, friendly, and warm.

Rumplestiltskin eyed her in an almost predatory fashion, doing his best to shove aside unhelpful feelings such as 'she's too precious to endanger.' He stood from the spinning wheel and began to pace around her in slow, calculating circles, like a shark circling it's prey.

"Would you like to come with me" he asked very slowly, "On one of my little.... adventures?"

He pitched his voice higher then usual, secretive, entreating... threatening?

"Yes" Belle said, both excited and a little wary. She wanted to go, but why was he acting so strangely?

"Get your things then," He missed a step, as though he had tripped on nothing, bearly noticable, but it stopped his pacing "I'm in a bit of a hurry."

Chapter 2: Alone in the Dark

https://aldahi-rp.tumblr.com/post/623494238962958336/saving-rumplestiltskin

[yinzhengs]

xia talks about 绅探 | detective l

— where i’ve been watching detective l: eng sub (YT) || raws (maplestage)

— so i’ve finally made my way thru all 8 eps that have been released thus far. i know some people have been asking for my opinion, so here’s a post that’s meant to hopefully sum up everything i’ve been feeling about this show, personally. any spoilers in my review are very minor!

if you’re not familiar with the show, it’s a sherlock holmes inspired mystery/crime show set in the shanghai french concession during the republican period, starring bai yu, you jingru, and ji chen. at the moment, the show’s at a 7.3/10 on douban, and it was trending at #5 for web-series, so it’s definitely enjoying popularity.

disclaimer: this is just my personal opinion — no matter how i feel about the show, i heavily encourage everyone to check it out for themselves before coming to a conclusion!

+ setting

you know, if there’s one thing i do dig about this show (in theory), it’s the setting. while i’m not a big fan of the set, for reasons i’ll go into below, i think the time period lends itself to some interesting setups and unique cases. as mentioned, it takes place in the republican period in shanghai’s french concession. if i had to guess, it takes place in the 30′s — but my chinese history is shaky, and this is entirely based on some throwaway details mentioned in later cases. suffice it to say that it's a pretty cool setting, and while i was skeptical at first, i did find myself getting into it.

+ characters

another thing i like about the show is the character concepts — in theory, if not always in practice. we have a kind of triumvirate in the main trio. 

first, we have luo fei, the sherlock of the series and arguably its main character, who serves as a consulting detective for the shanghai police department. while he’s occasionally (mostly accidentally) an asshole, he’s generally likable and a far cry from the more eccentric/socially inept portrayals of sherlock holmes in modern adaptations. we start seeing a hint of his backstory in recent episodes, and cases soon start getting tied into his feud with an elusive “captain,” likely the show’s moriarty.

next, we have qin xiaoman, a rookie officer newly assigned to the dept, who has a fiesty temper and a fierce passion for making sure justice is served. in an enjoyable twist, she’s generally the one that does the heavy lifting: chasing perps down, aiming down sights, slamming suspects to the ground — she also soon learns to make deductions of her own, as well. 

finally, we have........................benjamin (本杰明). his name / its transliteration makes me laugh a little bit whenever i see it, so generally i just refer to the poor guy as ben. anyway, he’s a reserved forensic examiner who also serves as the department’s forensic analyst — he pretty much lives in the morgue, and is more comfortable with the dead than with the living. (also, he has a pretty cute bromance with luo fei...) his backstory’s interesting, and i like his character a lot because it plays perfectly off of the other two’s preexisting dynamic — here’s hoping that he gets more screentime and development! 

(ot3? ot3.)

+ cases

there are mixed opinions about the cases, but my personal take is that they’re pretty enjoyable to watch. while they’re not super hard to figure out / generally don’t have a whole lot of killer twists, they’re also not terribly unrealistic. they can get a little convoluted, but such is the eternal curse of mystery shows, i suppose. a lot of the smaller puzzles that luo fei solves are also contingent on some Pretty Chinese elements, which i found very cute (麻雀/麻将, 简谱, to name two). so yeah, they do a pretty okay job of taking classic mystery cases and making them fit in the setting given. more importantly, the process by which they unravel the cases is generally fun to watch, which is really the crucial part of any good mystery/crime show.

that being said, as someone who’s watched quite a few crime shows, i’m entirely not convinced that the writing for the cases is sufficient to keep me watching — even though they’re fun, i haven’t seen much so far that makes me feel like the show’s doing anything different from the usual formula. of course, that’s fine — crime shows don’t need to reinvent the wheel, they just need to make themselves worth watching, one way or another (normally thru character chemistry/acting, etc).

- some familiar sights/sounds...

why did they use the cinemasins stock sound effect multiple times

anyway, that aside, there are obvious nods to sherlock (bbc) — the main theme, luo fei’s initial appearance, the deduction scene in the car...

well, is it plagiarism? i guess not (or well, sina doesn’t think so), but what detective l’s doing here is less reinventing the wheel and more... repainting tires, if you catch my drift.

also, if you’re someone who pays a lot of attention to film ost’s, you’ll be assaulted with a LOT of familiar sounding melodies, be warned. this isn’t necessarily something that detracts from the drama, but it’s definitely something that’s thrown me for a loop / broken my immersion multiple times.

? tone

here’s where i start getting a little hesitant about the show, one of my main gripes: i’m really not sure what kind of tone the show is aiming for. while it’s clearly not a show that takes itself too seriously, and certainly not a dark/hard-boiled noir, occasionally there are moments included where characters rail at, for example, the imperfection/injustice of their supposedly impartial justice system — and while i’m not saying that the show can’t go there, it came off to me as just very thin attempts to increase the show’s depth while also not elaborating on those issues at all. and that’s what’s bothered me the most: the illusion of depth. 

i’ll be the first to admit, though, that this is probably because i’m watching this directly after OS, which definitely tackled those issues from the start and had a radically different tone — i just feel like detective l, at least so far, hasn’t settled into one yet, and so i felt like there were some definite moments of tone incongruity / moments when i thought the show would continue with issues it’d raised ... but it didn’t.

- cinematography / lighting

take this with a disclaimer: i think the lighting and design in this show is gorgeous... for stills.

for a moving film? not so much.

i’ve said earlier that i felt like some of the lines felt scripted — but if anything enhances that artificiality, it’s definitely some of the set design. it’s clearly a studio set, and i can’t really begrudge them that part, but some of the lighting is so clearly artificial that it’s been starting to get to me — characters inside a normal room (lit by an innocuously dim overhead lamp) shouldn’t have three separate colors reflecting off their faces like a hobbyist artist’s color study sketches (though it does do a good job of highlighting bai yu’s jawline unnecessarily, in like, every other scene). 

they’re clearly trying to create a mood through coloring / lighting, but ... often, i find, it’s at the cost of realism and could definitely be toned down a bit. (i find that over-the-top coloring is pretty common in cdramas, though, so this is probably also very subjective.)

(also, as with most cdramas.. they could probably do with less cgi.)

- acting / directing

alright, i’ll be honest: i’m not a fan of the acting in this.

in my personal opinion, something about the leads’ acting comes off as overly dramatized (esp. in xiaoman’s case) or slightly forced/artificial (in bai yu’s case). this could just be me not really being used to these two actors, but there were multiple times when i was surprised at how overdramatic/unrealistic some lines were delivered. same goes for minor characters, as well — something about the entire show just strikes me as extremely scripted, to the point where it breaks my immersion a lot. this might just be me, though, because i’ve def. heard some praises of the line delivery in this that i couldn’t wrap my mind around: take my words with a grain of salt, i suppose. 

(also, of course, i’ve been watching this directly after coming from white deer plain — which has some really down-to-earth acting and a setting/tone that’s worlds apart from detective l. maybe i’m drawing too many direct comparisons: white deer plain definitely has some amazing acting, and it’s a high bar to set, esp for a drama filled with more younger actors.)

directing-wise... i definitely wish i could ask why they made some of the choices they did. while the subs haven’t reached that point yet, there are definitely some cliche tropes that they start throwing in around ep. 6 that heavily detracted from my enjoyment of the show, esp. with the show’s (perhaps over-the-top) use of slow motion at times + (imo) forcing chemistry before it’s had time to develop.

as a result though, i really can’t find myself getting attached to either of the main two (i like ben, probably because he hasn’t had enough screentime for me to be turned off yet, though) — i think that the acting choices for qin xiaoman definitely made her more unlikable for me despite me being a fan of her character in... theory. similarly, luo fei often feels too thin as a character — i’m constantly searching for depth there that i’m not sure i’m finding. so far, while these two are foils, they really feel like nothing more. maybe it’s too early to tell (but hey, i’m a third of the way through, aren’t i?), but i’m definitely finding myself wishing at almost every turn that there was more to the acting there — though they’re definitely being stingy with releasing characters’ backstories / hints to their backstories, which could help contextualize their behavior a little more. 

overall: would i recommend it?

my very eloquent answer is... it depends. if you’re looking for a fun mystery romp that doesn’t always take itself too seriously with a unique setting and some interesting cases, then by all means: detective l might be up your alley!

that being said, i think it has a lot of flaws — notably, veteran crime show fans might not find enough flesh on the show’s bones to justify watching it for the cases alone — but if you can overlook them, it’s a fun show to watch: just don’t go in looking for stunning acting or dark moral quandaries. 

[jbuffyangel]

Unconditional Love: Arrow 7x09 Review (Elseworlds Part 2)

The crossover was only five minutes long. Wow! It went by so fast.

Source: whoeveryoulovethemost

(Fair warning: if you are a Fl*sh fan I wouldn’t read this.)

Let’s dig in…

Olicity

I watched a lot of insufferable bullshit to get two scenes, but they are really good scenes. I love y’all and this couple a lot. Suffering builds character as they say, so maybe I’ll ascend to heaven body and soul because I put up with The Fl*sh for an hour. I’m also being a little overly dramatic, but that’s just details.

We didn’t start out great though. Oliver, B*rry and K*ra show up in Star City and rather than tell Felicity directly what is going on, Oliver chooses to keep her out of the loop. He feels they have enough problems as it is and he doesn’t want to pile on. 

Sure, absolutely. Totally right call, Oliver. More lies are exactly what are required to fix your marriage. Since Felicity is angry about lying you should lie even more, so she trusts you again. Your logic is spectacular. I couldn’t be prouder.

I honestly had a very low bar as I sat down to watch the Arrow hour of the crossover. I just didn’t want to throw things at the television like I had the night before. I did not achieve my goal. The bar was much too high.

I don’t know why Arrow thinks they need to add drama on top of drama. The writers do this all the time particularly with Olicity. It’s not enough Oliver didn’t discuss going to prison with Felicity before he made a deal with the FBI. Nope! He has to make the same mistake again, so the characters are triggered to discuss it in the current episode. 

Lying about prison is plenty to work through. Oliver doesn’t need to lie again, so they can talk about lying. One asinine, disrespectful, they’ve-already-dealt-with-this-issue-in-previous-seasons problem at a time please.

Then, Cisco and Caitlin try to pass it off like Ir*s knew immediately B*rry wasn’t B*rry and, once again, this proves they are true soul mates. Felicity immediately feels terrible about herself and her relationship with Oliver because she didn’t realize her husband wasn’t her husband. Maybe their disconnection is even more serious than she realized.

IR*S DID NOT KNOW IMMEDIATELY. She spent the better part of an hour figuring it out. When she wasn’t pawing Oliver like a cat, she was throwing B*rry and Oliver in prison because she thought they were crazy. Oh by the way, one of them was her husband, so she knowingly threw her spouse in meta human jail. She very slowly and reluctantly began to believe them 20 minutes into the episode. Yeah, that’s right. I clocked it.

When B*rry (Gr*nt G*stin) tells her, “No matter what mask I am wearing I will always show you my true face,” and tries to hold her hand she does not grab back (as far as I could tell).

That was a hell of a line. Perfect time for some kissing, but Ir*s is more concerned about B*rry becoming Oliver. She couldn’t bring herself to return any affection from the man she believed was Oliver Queen. Sorry kids, this is not how I define “belief.” But you know soul mates.

Felicity does not spend anywhere near the same amount of time with B*rry and Oliver as Ir*s did. 

Source:  hollandrooden 

They show up in Star City, nobody tells Felicity what is going on, she leaves to work out the lightning problem with Curtis, and the trio heads off to Gotham City. 

Source:  hollandrooden

Felicity spent 30 seconds with Oliver and B*rry compared to Ir*s’ 20 minutes. Yes, I clocked it again. Maybe if Felicity was given the same amount of time then she would have figured it out too.

Nobody tells Caitlin and Cisco Felicity doesn’t know, so they accidentally tell her about the body swap. Of course, it’s totally insane Caitlin and Cisco assumed Felicity’s husband told her the friggin truth right? *bleeped for barrage of expletives*

Source:  hollandrooden

Felicity: It’s not every day that you find out your ex is your husband and vice versus.

Does B*rry count as an ex? I guess they had a mini date and she did wear that dress. 

Also there was kissing. Yeah, okay ex it is.

Caitlin tells Felicity she shouldn’t read too much into Ir*s immediately knowing B*rry wasn’t B*rry. (I agree, particularly since she didn’t know immediately.) Caitlin says Ir*s just has more experience with B*rry screwing things up. Okay, she didn’t really say it that way, but she should have. What Caitlin says is Ir*s has more experience with alternate realities.  She also shares how Team Fl*sh locked B*rry and Oliver up in jail when they tried to explain what happened.

Felicity: I appreciate you saying that but it’s just another excuse in a long list of excuses for Oliver’s behavior.

Felicity is tired and she should be. Oliver always has a reason for keeping her in the dark, but it doesn’t make it okay. Those reasons don’t excuse all the lying. What Felicity wants, what she has always wanted, is Oliver’s trust and respect.

Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

I really love this scene between Caitlin and Felicity because it captures the struggle of marriage so well. Your partner will hurt and disappoint you at some point. We marry imperfect people. A very large part of marriage is learning how to move past the anger and find forgiveness. 

There are aspects of my husband’s personality I don’t like, but I know will never change and vice versus. Unconditional love doesn’t require you agree with everything your partner does. It doesn’t mean you can’t be angry with your spouse. However, it does require loving your spouse in spite of the things you don’t like. Unconditional love requires acceptance.

Source:  unicornships

This is essentially what Caitlin is telling Felicity. Yes, they have pretty big problems right now, but the only way through it is love. You have to hold on to the love you have for your spouse and let it guide you through the times you don’t like them very much. It’s the only way bridge the anger and separation. This is how you find your way through a fraught relationship.

I am not as angry with Oliver over his lie about prison as I was about the William lie. I don’t believe Oliver’s intentions were to exclude Felicity from his life. I believe he was trying to protect her and, to some extent, himself. Oliver knew Felicity would convince him not to go to jail and at the time he didn’t see any other way. At the end of the day, his actions were heroic even though they hurt Felicity in the process.

However, Arrow has done an absolutely terrible job of explaining Oliver’s point of view. They’ve never allowed Oliver to verbalize his reasons or even offer an explanation for why he didn’t include Felicity in the decision. The viewers shouldn’t have to get their explanations via interviews with executive producers.

I know we’re all as tired as Felicity is with the lying. However, this isn’t just about Oliver lying. This is about what will never change in Oliver. He will always be the one to fall on the sword. His heroic actions will often be detrimental to his relationship with his wife because those actions require sacrifice. It requires Oliver to put other people and other things before his own happiness. His selflessness won’t always be what is best or healthiest for his marriage.

This is why it’s important they are hashing this out. Oliver hurt Felicity. He shouldn’t have excluded her from the decision, even if he was afraid she’d talk him out of it. Felicity needs to be part of these decisions, so it’s easier for her to deal with consequences. At least then she can feel like she has some control or say in her own life.

Source:  hollandrooden

While Oliver was away, Felicity had to become someone else. Oliver left Felicity to the wolves and she had to learn how to protect herself. She is exploring her concept of morality and justice. Something Oliver has done a million times. 

However, when Oliver returned home and saw firsthand how Felicity has changed, she wasn’t treated with the same respect, trust and unconditional love she’s shown Oliver all these years. Felicity encouraged Oliver to find another way, but she was never judgmental about it. Felicity believed in Oliver no matter what.

Felicity’s darkness still pales in comparison to Oliver’s. She may be exploring the moral grey, but it in no way compares to Oliver’s forays. Felicity was greeted with disbelief and, “This isn’t you,’ admonishments instead of understanding and love. 

As I said, I have no problem with Felicity owning a gun, but I didn’t agree with how she used the gun in “Unmasked.” Oliver may have cause to be concerned, but he wasn’t asking the right questions to help Felicity. He was focused on what she was doing rather than listening to what she had gone through. Felicity trusted Oliver even when he was dropping bodies on a weekly basis. His judgment felt like a lack of belief and trust, which he has never felt from her even in his darkest of moments.

After spending some time as B*rry All*n, Oliver realizes he may have overreacted a bit to the changes in his wife. 

His speech is monumentally important for several reasons. Oliver has acted like a supreme jackass for the better part of seven months. He lied, excluded Felicity from decisions in her own life, and then judged his wife for the decisions she made in his absence. Homeboy needed one hell of an apology. As I said in the Watchover podcast this is bases loaded, two outs, bottom of the ninth, and in the last game of the World Series. Oliver needed to man up and be the husband (and superhero) Felicity deserves.

As speeches go, this is a spectacular one. If you are a long time Arrow fan, then you know this another role shift for Oliver and Felicity. Typically, it is Felicity fixing problems with a grand speech. She’s the one who expounds on how long and how much she loves him. It doesn’t mean Oliver loves Felicity any less, but he is more quiet and simple in his declarations.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs 

Not this time. This is really the first time Oliver has tried to quantify his love for Felicity. Oliver finds the English language falls woefully short as he tries to explain how much he loves Felicity, . There isn’t truly a word for how much he feels for her.

Felicity is on edge when Oliver begins talking. He tells her everything will be okay and acknowledges people change. However, none of that eases her anxiety or anger. It’s only when Oliver reassures Felicity his love for her will never change that we see her relief. Oliver may be right about all the other stuff, but what hits home for Felicity is his unconditional love. We can see how worried she was that the person she is becoming is going to cost her Oliver. What Felicity really needed to hear was that could never happen.

It’s also one of the first times Oliver’s love declaration is focused on Felicity. I love his vows, both sets. 

However, when Oliver is telling Felicity how much he loves her in these moments he focuses on the impact she’s had on his life. It’s a lot about what Felicity’s love has done for him rather than what he feels only for her.

It’s not bad thing. It’s doesn’t make his vows any less powerful or amazing, because Felicity has had a life altering effect on Oliver. However, I don’t believe this was the kind of speech Oliver needed to make in this moment. He needed to focus only on Felicity and how he feels about her.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

And Oliver does focus on Felicity. BIG TIME. His judgment is gone and in its place are respect, love and understanding. Change is not a bad thing. Oliver understands as life goes on both Felicity and he will become different people, but no matter who Felicity becomes Oliver will always love her. He marries every version of Felicity Smoak, now and forever.

Of course, we knew Felicity is the love of Oliver Queen’s life. Hearing him say the words is another thing entirely though. Oliver quantifies his love for Felicity just as she has done for him. 

Felicity made it clear she fell in love with Oliver the moment he walked into her office. I suspected as much, so I never tire of hearing Felicity say this.

I also believe it took Oliver longer. He didn’t know what to make of Felicity Smoak at first. 

She sparked something foreign, yet familiar inside of him. Oliver came alive again when he met Felicity, but he didn’t know what it meant until later. Oliver fell in love slowly and then all at once.

“Love of my life” puts a stamp on his relationship with Felicity in a way Oliver has never done before. There never was or ever could be another woman in Oliver’s life who he loves more than Felicity Smoak. 

The petty side of me is also gleeful because when LL used this same terminology Oliver greeted it with silence. 

There is a vast difference between love and in love. LL stands at one of the spectrum and Felicity Smoak the other. 

Source:  felicitysmoakdaily

There is only one worth living for though and this is what Oliver is declaring. Felicity will always be Oliver’s life no matter who Felicity becomes. He will always choose her.

Trust is Felicity’s love language. Apologies don’t mean as much as Oliver’s belief and trust. So, Oliver saying he loves every version of her, and will be with her no matter what, is exactly what Felicity needs to hear. Oliver is giving Felicity the same love, trust and belief she’s always given him. This is the kind of husband and superhero she deserves. 

If Felicity is going to continue to examine her morality, and I think she should, then Oliver needs to give her unconditional love so A) she has the freedom to explore a darker side and B) so he can pull her back if she crosses too many lines.

Source:  felicitysmoakdaily

Oliver and B*rry have not switched back yet. Felicity believes she’s married to Gr*nt G*stin and the man standing before her, Stephen Amell, is not Oliver Queen but B*rry All*n. However, as Oliver speaks and Felicity listens to his words and hears the emotion in his voice, she knows it is him. Felicity knows this is her Oliver.

Source: oliverxfelicity

She whispers a sweet and soft, “Hi,” in recognition of who he truly is and then Felicity kisses him. I love how soft hellos are Oliver and Felicity’s way of reconnecting and reassuring. What was there in the beginning is still here today. What is most important remains unchanged.

It doesn’t matter to Felicity what body Oliver is in (although this was a serious upgrade, let’s be real). She recognizes her husband anywhere. 

What I love even more is Felicity initiates the kiss. There is no reluctance or hesitation. Felicity embraces her husband and accepts everything about him, as he has with her. 

They are both becoming different people (Oliver quite literally at this moment), but the love that binds them remains intact and will for the rest of their lives.

HERE ENDETH THE CROSSOVER! 

Yeah, I’m not kidding. We could stop right here. I care about nothing else. Here’s another kissing gif. *munches on popcorn*

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Flash Mitch Leary shows up and interrupts Oliver and Felicity’s much needed make out session though. Probably would have led to sex. 

Way to go Flash Mitch Leary!

Because I do. Screw you Flash Mitch Leary. 

Did you notice Felicity clung to Oliver even though he’s technically still in the wrong body? All we do is win fandom!

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Mr. Let’s Lay off the Public Displays of Affection doesn’t seem to mind at all. Oliver has no problem with PDA. It just depends who he’s PDA-ing with.

There are a few smaller moments in the crossover which shows us the miracle Felicity Smoak has been for Oliver Queen’s life. Oliver and B*rry are comparing notes on all the ways they’ve over simplified each other’s lives. B*rry has underestimated all the pain Oliver has survived. Oliver believes B*rry’s life is easy.

Oliver: B*rry I always thought you had it easy. Sunshine and rainbows… everybody likes you.

Stephen’s reading of “everybody likes you” is spot on perfect. Oliver is a little envious of the way everyone just accepts B*rry. Through the entire crossover Oliver has been the odd man out. He even remarks, “I guess I’m running alone,” when Kara zips off with B*rry to Gotham. Everyone has been taking pot shots at Oliver and stripping him down to his most basic and unpopular attributes. He’s a dark and hopeless man who fuels his anger via a mask and calls it heroism.

This is not the Oliver we know or Felicity knows. She is one of the few people who took the time to look beyond the surface to see the deeply good man underneath. 

Felicity has always believed in Oliver’s light. She’s always seen the hero Oliver truly is and his ability to inspire hope. Her belief is what made Oliver believe. He became that man because Felicity Smoak loves him.

This is why the unconditional love they share with each other is so important. Even among “friends” Oliver is treated with condemnation and judgment. Felicity is a rare gift and Oliver knows it. So, he chooses to give her the same unconditional love she’s given him. Oliver experiences the loneliness of judgment and never wants Felicity to feel alone with him. This is how you bridge the gap and build a marriage which will last until “death do us part.”

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

The Trashing of Oliver Queen

The theme for this year’s crossover is “Trash Oliver Queen.” It was two hours of nonstop dragging. 

Source: stephen-amell

The only reprieve we are given is during the Arrow hour of the crossover. At least those writers somewhat understand his character. Let’s run down the comments shall we?

"Oliver's life is completely defined by anger and vengeance."

"Please don't become Oliver Queen."

“Deck him B*rry! What? He’s a jerk.”

“Oliver Queen, the man who channels his hubris and anger and calls it strength.”

“One time Oliver cheated on his girlfriend with her sister.”

There’s probably more, but that’s plenty. 

Ir*s spends the majority of The Fl*sh episode terrified she’s married to Oliver Queen or B*rry will become Oliver Queen. Since it is the female protagonist making all these statements about Oliver Queen, it is simply accepted as truth.

What’s worse is Oliver doesn’t act like our Oliver.  Ir*s says Oliver is defined by anger, so he has over the top temper tantrums. I’m not saying B*rry wasn’t insulted too. However, when Oliver gets his digs in at B*rry he’s yelling. B*rry refuses to engage and walks away. This reinforces everything Ir*s has said about Oliver. It feels like the writers are saying, “See? We’re right! He’s just a horrible, dark, muscle bound hulk of angry. Isn’t B*rry so much better?” It’s disgusting. This is character assassination. Plain and simple.

It is so bad it became distracting. I couldn’t appreciate some of the genuinely funny moments because I was too busy fuming. 

I mean, B*rry is telling K*ra how slutty Oliver was back in the day. 

Source:  olivergifs

Alright, this was a tiny bit funny, but why are we rehashing the Sarah/Oliver/Laurel debacle? IT WAS TEN YEARS AGO. 

This is all an effort cast Oliver in a terrible light, while K*ra and B*rry gloat over it because he’s Gandhi and she’s Mother Theresa. Here’s a hot tip: If you are trying to get Arrow fans to watch the other shows then don’t insult their favorite characters.

The Oliver being described in this year’s crossover hasn’t been around since Season 3. In fact, it feels like neither The Fl*sh nor S*pergirl writers watched an Arrow episode after 3x02. I am willing to acknowledge Oliver has some anger, but he has not been controlled by it or fueled by it for YEARS. I’m not talking a few episodes or a season. I’m talking actual years of character growth being ignored to write this bullshit. SEVEN YEARS to be exact.

Oliver is defined by the love he has for his wife, son, team and city. This is a man who is willing to sacrifice everything for the people and city he loves. If Oliver was merely fueled by anger and vengeance he would have been done or dead years ago.

In Defense of Oliver Queen

Oliver suffered unimaginable nightmares for five years. He was tortured. Every single person he ever loved either died for him or because of him. He could never fully trust anyone. He had to make life and death decisions every day. He had to forge himself into a weapon, strip himself of his humanity, to survive.

The process in which Oliver Queen became the Arrow and the process in which B*rry All*n became the Fl*sh are night and day. B*rry was struck by lightning. But Oliver? Oliver became the Arrow through sheer force of will. He worked for it, trained for it and bled for it.  His survival depended on it.

B*rry didn’t lose himself when he became The Fl*sh. Oliver had to stop being Oliver Queen. He had to stop trusting. He had to stop believing. He had to stop hoping. He had to stop caring. He had to stop loving. He had to stop being a person. It was the only way for him to survive.  Humanity was just another thing that could kill him.

And yet, despite everything Oliver suffered, he retained his goodness. He fought his way back from the depths of hell and held onto his humanity. He found a way to love and hope again. Oliver Queen is a miracle.

This incessant need The Fl*sh has to compare B*rry to Oliver is a foolhardy endeavor. There is no competition, but writers confident in their character don’t need to trash another one to feel superior. Maybe The Fl*sh has to insult Oliver Queen because deep down they believe their hero doesn’t measure up. It makes me wonder because I’ve never seen television writers treat the characters that launched their show so terribly – and yes I include Felicity and Diggle. Oliver is written as a violent monster, Felicity is a ditzy bimbo, and Diggle could care less B*rry erased his daughter. Every time I watch an Arrow character on The Fl*sh they are a stranger to me. 

I don’t know y’all. This all feels like a massive inferiority complex.

Arrow has clearly shown there is a light in Oliver Queen just as inspiring as B*rry All*n’s or Sup*rgirl’s.  Oliver has evolved far beyond the man who came home from Lian Yu. He isn’t Season 1 Oliver no matter how hard The Fl*sh and Sup*rgirl try to characterize him that way.

He has evolved far beyond dough. Oliver is a baked cookie Felicity gets to munch on and enjoy.

In fact, Oliver’s heroism is what inspired B*rry to become the friggin Fl*sh to begin with! 

Yeah, that’s right Fl*sh people. I am not letting you forget your fave is a spin off launched from ARROW. No matter how much you trash Oliver Queen it isn’t going to erase history. The DCTV universe became a success because Arrow is a success. This is like pretending Ironman had nothing to do with Marvel’s movie franchise. Give me a friggin break. RESPECT YOUR ELDERS.

We also have to deal with severe continuity issues. Ir*s tells Oliver (who she thinks is B*rry) about how angry Felicity is he cut a deal with the feds without discussing it with her. Oliver looks shocked to hear this. 

Source: oliverxfelicity

SHOCKED. 

Oliver knows Felicity is pissed about him going to prison. He’s known it for seven months. If Oliver forgot then it was explained to him again during the massive fight he had with Felicity about it last week. It is clear The Fl*sh writers have not watched a single episode of Arrow this year, which is just aggravating.

This is all evidence to Ir*s that Oliver is a horrible person and she is so grateful she married Rainbow Brite. There is absolutely no way she could be married to Oliver Queen. Listen, cutie why don’t you take your moral condemnation and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine?

I seem to recall Rainbow Brite, aka B*rry All*n, made the exact same decision a few seasons ago. Didn’t B*rry go into the speed force without discussing it with you? Sure he did. In fact, Mr. and Mrs. Gold Standard went to couple’s therapy over it.

If there’s a storyline on Arrow then chances are The Fl*sh has copied it. I would be careful with the examples of how awful Oliver Queen is because I can match you example for example with how awful B*rry All*n is. At least Oliver pays for his mistakes.

If these characters had said Oliver’s life is completely defined by anger and vengeance during the first crossover (and they did) I would have said this is an incomplete picture of him. However, I could understand why someone who just met Oliver would feel like it is true. But we’re in SEASON SEVEN of Arrow. These people have fought side by side together for four years.

Ir*s’ attitude towards Oliver doesn’t even make sense. She was at his friggin wedding while he was bursting with sunshine and moonbeams. Ir*s knows Oliver is a good man, so this is equally an assassination of her character as well. But what else is new on The Fl*sh?

Even B*rry’s reactions to Oliver’s interactions with Ir*s are insane. He tells Oliver not to touch Ir*s. When Oliver assures B*rry he hasn’t he responds with, “You thought about it.” 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? NO HE HASN’T. All Oliver has wanted from the second he woke up was to go back to his own bed where his REAL wife is.

The one climbing Oliver like a tree is Ir*s. The fact Ir*s is attracted to him isn’t a surprise to Oliver. 

Source:  supercanaries

This is not a detail she’s kept quiet over the years, but is also not something Oliver has encouraged. 

He practically glued himself to Felicity anytime Ir*s came near him. 

Source:  supercanaries

Oliver is frozen with shock and horror she acted on it. This was not the face of a man who has “thought about it.” Take up your insecurities with your wife Bartholomew and leave Oliver out of it.

However, if we’re talking about who “thought about it” then I submit this as evidence.

Source:  amunetblack

Spot the difference? This is the face of a man who is clearly enjoying himself. If there’s anybody thinking about touching his friend’s wife then it’s B*rry. Not Oliver. I don’t think either of them “cheated” but what annoyed me is the only one we’re commenting on is Oliver. B*rry, you dated Oliver’s wife. You’ve had TWO non platonic kisses. You are lucky to be alive. So, let’s cool it with the accusations.

Frankly, this year’s crossover feels like a retreaded ground. This argument B*rry is light and Oliver is dark was one made in the first Arrow/Fl*sh crossover. Both men had to learn and appreciate the kind of hero the other was. All the lessons B*rry and Oliver are learning this year are ones they’ve already learned. Only this time B*rry and Oliver have to switch lives. This is what running out of ideas looks like.

I mean, come on y’all. They actually had a scene where B*rry is held hostage, but convinces Oliver not to kill Deegan because “there’s a better way.” 

Source: olivergifs

WE. DID. THIS. EXACT. SCENE. IN. SEASON. 2.

I cannot even with this nonsense. 

Oliver stopped killing in Season 6!!! But it’s because of B*rry Oliver decided to find another way.

 Unbelievable. 

Do I think Oliver is going back to “I’m full of darkness” during the regular Arrow season? No. I don’t. We’ll go back to our regularly scheduled programming. Oliver will be our Oliver, complete with all seven seasons of character growth, and acting like the man we know and love. What happened in the crossover is all ridiculousness to sell the crossover story, which is continuing into “Crisis on Infinite Earths” in the fall of 2019.

If you think I am overreacting to how The Fl*sh characterized Oliver’s character then I would simply ask you to flip it. How would you feel if Felicity was talking about B*rry the way Ir*s spoke about Oliver? How would you feel if all of B*rry’s mistakes were dragged? How would you feel if the other characters believed B*rry’s selfishness represents everything he is? How would you feel if Arrow ignored five years of B*rry’s character growth? How would you feel if the other characters responded to B*rry as anything other than the hero he is? How would you feel if this wasn’t the first time B*rry All*n was insulted guest starring on Arrow? Methinks you would have a problem with it.

I am a little disappointed in myself for being so surprised. This has been a problem on The Fl*sh for a very long time. This behavior never happens on Arrow, I might add. The Arrow writers do not insult and trash B*rry’s character, so Oliver can look morally superior. So, thank you “Elseworlds” for reminding me why I stopped watching The Fl*sh. The writers are incapable of being respectful towards the character that launched their show.

What Did Oliver Promise?

Oh Lord Oliver. Why do you have to be so damn heroic all the time? It is highly problematic.

Source:  olivergifs

I didn’t pay much attention to the plot, because the plot made no sense.

Source:  clevercloudpoetry

This was fine for hours one and two, but then crap actually started to matter during hour three.  

I couldn’t understand why people were freaking out online about what Oliver promised. If you’d like to hear my realization in real time then listen to the latest episode of Watchover.

Oliver: You said I’d past the test if I knew my true self. Well, my true self is filled with darkness, but B*rry and K*ra are different. They inspire hope. They inspire people because they are the best of us.

Did Oliver promise his life to the Monitor in exchange for those ungrateful twats, B*rry and K*ra? 

Source: @olivergifs​

You bet he did.

This is why they are trashing Oliver so much in this year’s crossover. Oliver will sacrifice his life and B*rry, K*ra & Co., will realize he was a true hero all along. 

I might have to start saying a rosary to get through this.

OR they could have simply treated Oliver like the hero he is and the plot in the crossover would have made sense. I’m just brainstorming here. Don’t want to get too crazy with the ideas.

Source:  someone-like-robsten

Yup. Oliver will be a hero because of B*rry kids.

Oliver is not so subtle alluding to exchanging his life for Barry’s, hence his “I’ll get there some day,” but the line irritates me because this whole crossover irritates me.

Arrow has been moving Oliver toward a more defined moral code. He’s becoming the light for Star City. However, everyone acting like there’s been no character growth in this man for the last 7 years simply to sell this “Oliver is going to die” storyline in the crossovers is pure madness.

This dovetails nicely into the flash forwards doesn’t it? Essentially “Elseworlds” confirms, or at least heavily hints, Oliver dies and everything goes to shit because of it in the future. Well played, Beth Schwartz.

Are they going to kill Oliver? Yes, but it won’t be permanent. I mean, just say it out loud with me and you’ll hear how ludicrous this sounds.

Oliver dies during the “Crisis of Infinite Earths” or sooner. Felicity raises their children on her own. Star City goes to hell in a hand basket in 20 years. Felicity becomes an evil super villain determined to destroy the city and then she’s murdered. 

HERE ENDETH THE SHOW.

No. Absolutely not. I reject all of this. This is what Arrow (and the crossovers) are telling us happened, but these are same people who said Oliver is all darkness. So pardon me if I find their word suspect.

I believe there’s a high likelihood Season 8 could be Arrow’s finale season. In the midst of all this trashing of Oliver Queen, there also seems to be a consistent “passing of the guard” mentality. B*rry and K*ra are the heroes the world needs and Oliver is a piece of crap that kills people with arrows. It’s all in an effort to disentangle the Arrowverse from Arrow and Oliver Queen. Then they re-center it around B*rry All*n.

If Season 8 is the final season then Arrow just spoiled how their show ends. Oliver dies. Everything goes to crap in the future, but then his band of legacy heroes save the city 20 years later. Is it possible? Sure, absolutely. A hero’s journey can end with death, but announcing it or heavily foreshadowing like this takes away the shock factor.

This is classic diversion and red herrings. The writers want the fans freaking out Oliver is going to die while they are doing something else entirely. This reminds me a bit of Season 4. Everyone was so busy worrying about Felicity dying, and the red herrings pointing to her death, that nobody was noticing how Arrow was setting up Laurel’s death at the same time.

Yes, they are setting up Oliver’s death. 

Source:  olivergifs

However, they also set up Oliver’s happy ending. 

He wants to hang up the hood and live in peace with his family. The point of the “Elseworlds” promise is for Oliver to sacrifice his happy ending so the world can have the true heroes like B*rry and K*ra fighting for it. However, Oliver sacrificing his happy ending proves he’s just as selfless a hero as they are. But balance I guess.

All the “Oliver is darkness” nonsense is so heavy handed too. When Arrow introduces plot lines like this so early on, basically telling us how it all ends, then I give it major side eye. If Season 8 is the finale season then they aren’t telling us how Arrow ends a year before the next crossover.

So what is “Crisis on Infinite Earths?” Here’s a link explaining it more in detail, but essentially an evil version of The Monitor begins destroying the multiverse. Let’s call him Satan Monitor. A bunch of superheroes die and there’s only one universe remaining at the end. Satan Monitor has a side kick named Psycho Pirate. This is the masked man talking to the professor in Arkham. “Crisis on Infinite Earths” is also when B*rry All*n disappears (which has been a major plot point on The Fl*sh) and Sup*rgirl dies in the comics. This is the sum total of my knowledge.

We are supposed to believe the Green Arrow sacrifices himself for the universe and this is the ending of Arrow. However, “Crisis on Infinite Earths” will air in the fall of 2019. This is the beginning of Arrow’s 8th Season. Not the end. The other crossovers have always aired in the winter. They are not killing Oliver Queen in the beginning of Season 8. Nope. Not happening.

The fact they are threatening to kill Oliver so early is good for us. We always want the premiere and mid season to be a shit show, so we can get a happier ending in the finale. Consider the last time Oliver “died.” 

Things worked out okay for him in the end. 

And yeah, that’s also my hang up. They’ve already written the perfect death scene for Oliver Queen. It aired four years ago. Been there. Done that.

The Monitor: Are you truly that eager to die? No, not eager, but willing. Ready to.

Oliver willing to sacrifice himself is not a shock. This is not a man who fears death. When Oliver returned to Starling City, he did not expect to survive. He thought he would come back, save the city, but die in the process as some kind of atonement for his sins. 

As the season progresses, Oliver’s humanity begins to return and he becomes more and more attached to those he loves. This creates a struggle for him because he does not expect to live. This is why he told Tommy as he died,

So, it’s tough for me to see death as the ending for Oliver Queen. Yes, it’s possible. I won’t deny that, but I feel it is the more unlikely scenario. Particularly since the writers are heavily hinting at Oliver’s death and want us to be worried about it.

David told a fan at HVFF San Jose the flash forwards are one of the possible futures and we’d understand more in the crossover. 

@callistawolf and I were so confused because this is directly opposite of what Beth had said in interviews. TV Guide said Beth, “…confirmed that this is a fixed future, so we don't need to worry about B*rry All*n (Gr*nt G*stin) turning up and resetting the timeline or anything.” 

However, went I looked back at her Collider interview that’s not exactly what she said. She merely confirmed this future is not connected to Legends and the characters don’t know what happens in the future.

Is this a fixed future that we’re seeing, or is there the possibility that they can change things?

SCHWARTZ: This is not connected to Legends. This is our own future. They don’t know what happens in the future. Legends is like that and The Flash is like that, but on Arrow, they don’t know. This is very much for the audience. They don’t know what’s happening to them, in the future. It’s better that they don’t know.

She dodged answering the “fixed future” portion of the question. I have yet to find an interview where Beth comments on permanency. Sorry, David. We were wrong to doubt you.

We’re thinking whatever happens to Oliver is fixed during next year’s crossover. Maybe Oliver dies in the Season 7 finale as a fulfillment of his promise. Whatever happens during “Crisis on Infinite Earths” could trigger a change in the flash forwards. Right now, they can kill Oliver and explore what Star City is like without the Green Arrow in the flash forwards. If Star City has gone to hell then obviously this proves the Green Arrow is needed in the world, because he is also a true and inspiring hero. Oliver ultimately survives “Crises on Infinite Earths” and is able to save his city in present day. Then we are given a totally different future.

How are they going to fix it? I have no idea. Superman was ushered off to his happy ending with a pregnant Lois. So, maybe he comes back and exchanges his life for Oliver’s. Not sure. I’m just spit balling here. There’s lots of X factors I can’t answer, but this gives the Arrow writers the chance to write both an unhappy and happy ending. We don’t have all the details worked out. Maybe Oliver dies during “Crisis on Infinite Earths” and is brought back another way. It’s totally possible Oliver promised something other than his life too. 

However, they want us to believe Oliver Queen is going to die so I wouldn’t expect to see him in the flash forwards any time soon. But it makes no sense to kill Oliver Queen at the end of Season 7 or the beginning or middle of Season 8, when we know Arrow still has a whole season to film and Stephen Amell is under contract. 

The big question is does Oliver tell Felicity what he promised? I want to say yes, but I’m not holding my breath. Oliver’s heroic actions tend to run counter to his happy life with Felicity. Do I imagine there’s a world in which Felicity will be okay with Oliver sacrificing himself for B*rry and K*ra? NO. It’s the same issue we had with the prison arc. I absolutely think Oliver should tell Felicity, but I just don’t have confidence he will at this point. Hopefully, I am wrong.

Stray Thoughts

Stephen Amell and Gr*nt G*stin have amazing chemistry. They are the perfect straight and funny man team. There are genuinely hilarious moments throughout the entire crossover, but most of the funny occurred during The Fl*sh hour. Stephen Amell truly cracked me up. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.

I'm still comfortable with my hot dog meets sperm description for Stephen in The Fl*sh suit.

Are B*rry's abs photoshopped too? I have questions.

"There's no way I could be married to Oliver Queen. I mean babe come on. He's not my type." This gag will never get old for me. I love it. 

Oliver going all alpha male around Superman is the realest thing about this crossover.  Source:olivergifs

“I think a night in jail would do them some good.” HAHAHA Bl*ck S*ren left Oliver in jail for the night. Classic.

Oliver’s pettiness over Batman will never not be funny. Source:  dailydcheroes

Kate Kane is awesome. Something about her suit bugs me though. Can’t figure out what. Source:  veronica-lodge

Joe Wilson is a scarier villain in the two minutes he had on screen than Diaz has been in a season and a half.

I like how Felicity refused to dumb her genius down for Diggle. He is so in the dog house with her. Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

Who is going to tell Sup*rgirl she is gay or bi? Because she is. There was a lot of flirting coming from Batwoman and K*ra D*nvers didn’t seem to mind at all. Don’t even get me started on her chemistry with Lena Luthor. So yeah. Somebody tell her. Facts are facts. I’m with you SuperCorp! Source:  amunetblack

If we’re talking Oliver’s worst fear I’d pick Adrian Chase over Malcolm Merlyn, but whatever. Nice to see you again John Barrowman.

I love how they showed how good Oliver is with computers. Nice moment of continuity from the Arrow pilot. Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

Arrow filmed a whole new opening with Gr*nt G*stin, but was Stephen Amell afforded the same on The Fl*sh? NOPE. It was weird.

I think Sup*rgirl got the shaft story wise. She spends all her time refereeing B*rry and Oliver. I think we could find better uses for her character.

Jimmy Olson has facial hair and nothing makes sense anymore.

Is Dante alive in this reality? If not, maybe don't bring him up B*rry.

Is Superman getting his own show too? This is a lot about Superman. (Superman proposes to Lois and they move to Argo to raise their love child.) Nope. Superman is not getting his own show.

I think if you can make your own diamonds you could go at least 4 carats Clark.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 7x09 gifs credited.

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[killingmebtob]

That’s A Start // Seo Eunkwang

Author: @killingmebtob // Sara

Title: That’s A Start

Characters: Eunkwang and Reader

Summary: Eunkwang, who is probably the greatest boyfriend in the world, struggles to communicate with his girlfriend.

---

I’m happy.

At least, that’s what I like to believe.

I’m happy but…

I’m content but…

There’s always something lacking. I probably am in no position to ask for more. After all, almost all my friends have told me that I’m the luckiest girl in the world because I have the sweetest and most caring boyfriend in the world. An extremely loyal and dedicated boyfriend too. Don’t get me wrong, I love him with my entire being. I love him in a way that I never imagined loving someone. I love him despite his flaws and imperfections.

But does he feel the same way about me? I would often find myself asking that question whenever I’m alone with my thoughts. I know, I know… His actions should be enough but…

“Surprise!” Eunkwang beamed at me when his head peaked into my office. I couldn’t help but smile as he fully entered the room with a bag. “I brought lunch. I have rehearsals later in the afternoon so I thought of dropping by first,”

“Aw,” I cooed as I started cleaning up my desk. “You didn’t have to but thank you,”

Eunkwang shyly smiled as he placed the bag of food on my desk. I really appreciated the gesture because it’s rare for us to find time to eat lunch together in between our work nowadays. We’ve both been busy—him with his musicals and me with my work as a corporate woman. It was times like these that I cherish with him. Even if we ate in silence and just shared smiles, everything felt great.

“I love you,” I said as I moved to kiss his cheek. “Take care, okay? And thank you,”

A blush was evident on his face as he shyly laughed. “I will. I’ll see you after work,” he softly spoke.

I didn’t show it but I was disappointed that he didn’t say it back. I just shook it off and nodded in agreement.

“What’s with the long face?”

“Nothing, Seobie,” I mumbled as I continued to chew on the straw of my drink.

He huffed in annoyance as he rolled his eyes at me. I knew he did even if my eyes weren’t on him. That’s what he always does when he huffs that way. “You’re chewing on your straw. I know you well enough to know that something’s bothering you. I told you before, it’s a tell that you have,”

“Yeah, yeah,” I dismissively spoke, still not looking at him.

“Are you telling me that you called me out for coffee just because you want to chew on that straw with a long face?”

I rolled my eyes, finally looking at him. I wanted to wipe the annoying smirk on my best friend’s face. Changsub has always been the one I was able to turn to for anything good and bad. To be honest, a lot of people wondered why we never ended up together given that we’ve known each other for basically our whole lives.

Then again, I guess that’s the reason why. We know so much about each other that it almost feels like we’re siblings from different families. Every time people outside of our circle ask us that question, both Changsub and I would make the same gagging face. There really is nothing between us.

“You know I love Eunkwang, right?” I asked him.

“Absolutely,” Changsub answered as if it was the most obvious reply to my question. “He’s pretty much all you talk about,”

“I do not!” I huffed. “Anyway… It’s just,”

“…you aren’t sure if he really loves you back in the same way,” he simply finished. Before I even got to ask how he knew, he shrugged. “Eunkwang has always been a shy guy. I was surprised that he had the courage to make a move on you. On stage, he’s someone who shines brightly with a voice that can shake the souls of many. In real life, however, he’s someone who prefers being in the background,”

“I know that,” I frowned. “It’s just… Is it so bad to want to hear him tell me that he loves me back? Or is it bad for me to wish that he’d let me know what he’s really feeling about certain things instead of just faking smiles and going along with what I want?

“Everything’s good now but I feel like he doesn’t trust me as much as I trust him,” I sighed in frustration. I ran my fingers through my hair to release some of the tension building in me. “We’ve been together for a year and a half. Each day was great but there’s something lacking,”

Changsub grimaced. “Try talking with him. Maybe he’s just not comfortable saying it,”

“I guess,” I huffed as I went back to chewing on my straw. I know that Changsub was right. I have to talk to Eunkwang about it but how do I do it without possibly hurting him?

My best friend loudly sighed before he flicked me on the forehead. I rubbed at the sore spot as I glared at him.

“Stop frowning. It’s not the end of the world,” he warmly smiled at me. It made me feel a little better. “Talk to him. He’ll understand you so wipe off that long face. You’re starting to look like you’re gaining 10 years as the seconds pass,”

I softly smiled at him. “Thank you, Seobie. I really don’t know where I’ll be if not for you,”

“Eh,” he grinned. “What are best friends for? Come on, I’ll take you to the theatre. I’m sure Eunkwang’s almost finished with rehearsals,”

Changsub is also a musical actor and he was able to work with Eunkwang on a show before. However, the two weren’t really close friends, just acquaintances, despite having a mutual connection.

The two of us walked down the street, laughing as Changsub shared when he accidentally hit the wrong note in a tense scene at their rehearsal. We didn’t notice that we’ve arrived at the front of the theatre until someone called my name.

I smiled when I saw Eunkwang. My worries from earlier somehow moving to the back of my head for the moment. I quickly ran towards him after I thanked Changsub and waved goodbye at him.

“You okay?” I asked Eunkwang as I looped my arm around his. I noticed how his eyes lingered on Changsub for a second before he turned to me. A frown was trying to form on my lips but I held it in when I saw my boyfriend trying his hardest to fake a smile.

“Yeah, just a little tired. Do you want to eat something?”

I sighed, stepping away from him, my arm unlooping from his. The thoughts of him not trusting me enough came back as I stared at the ground in between us. I saw him step to close the gap I made but I didn’t bother to move away.

“What’s wrong?” He sadly asked as he lightly brushed my hair off my face.

“Nothing,” I faked a smile. “Can we just grab some take out and head to your place as it’s closer? I’m not really up for eating out,”

“No problem. Do you feel sick? Do you want us to buy medicine on the way too?”

I sighed. “No, I’m okay,”

We barely talked after that. Only a few words were exchanged as we bought our food. Even now, as we sit in his small dining room, we weren’t talking. I barely touched my food either, just moving it around with my fork. I didn’t have the appetite for anything.

“Did I do something?” Eunkwang worriedly asked. “You weren’t like this earlier,”

“I’ve been talking to Changsub about you and me,” I heavily sighed as I watched him. The concerned look on his face was replaced by a small frown as I noticed him tense up. “I love you, Eunkwang. I really, really, really do but… I’m probably being stupid,” I uttered as I rubbed my forehead nervously.

“Are you… leaving me?”

“No, no!” I quickly answered. “No. I’m not breaking up with you. It’s just… I just… Do you love me?” I forced myself to say it but it felt like I was accusing him of not loving me. “I mean… I feel that you do but why don’t you say it back?” I meekly added.

Eunkwang was quiet with his hands clasped on top of the table. His eyebrows were slowly starting to meet as he scrunched his face.

“Not just that… Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong? Don’t you trust me enough? I saw how you looked at Changsub earlier. I noticed how your face dropped when I mentioned Changsub a while ago. It wasn’t the first time. I’ve always noticed those things but I never said anything until today,” I continued. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to tell me everything but still, a part of me wants to know how you really feel about certain things,”

I watched as my boyfriend kept his gaze glued on his hands as he nervously chewed on his lip. I didn’t know what was going through his mind.

“I’m sorry,” I finally sighed after a long minute of silence. “I really am. I think I’ll head home for today,” I tried my best to talk to him as normally as possible but my heart felt heavy. Instead of feeling relieved that I’ve finally told him what I wanted to say, I felt more troubled. I really shouldn’t have said anything.

Eunkwang stayed unmoving as I packed my things. My eyes lingered on him for a while.

“I love you,” I whispered to him before moving to leave his place.

I quickly took out my phone and once again called the person who I could rely on. I know I shouldn’t, not after leaving Eunkwang that way but I couldn’t bear the thought of being alone at the moment.

“Hello?”

“…” It took me a while to answer him. “Seobie,” I choked out. My throat felt like it was closing in on my airways.

“Hey, what happened? Calm down.” he panicked. In the background, I could hear things tumbling as he probably scrambled to get up. “Where are you?”

“Coffee,” I weakly answered before cutting the call.

//

I once again found myself chewing on the straw of my iced coffee in front of Changsub who didn’t look pleased.

“Twice today,” he sighed. “I do have a life too,”

“You were probably lounging around your home,” I uttered. “Sorry. I just didn’t want to be alone,”

“What happened? It’s only been a few hours since we parted ways,” Changsub finally asked. I knew that he had been dying to ask since he saw me on the brink of tears.

I felt extremely terrible for leaving Eunkwang but I couldn’t take any more of his silence. If I stayed, I might have said or done something stupid. Then again, walking away was stupid too.

“I told him and he didn’t say anything,” I mumbled.

Changsub raised his brow. “Didn’t say anything? Did you even give him the chance to say something?”

I bit down on my lip. “No,”

My best friend rolled his eyes. He even exaggerated it to add more emphasis. “I really don’t know what to do with you sometimes,”

“I couldn’t help it! We were there in his dining room, trying to have a meal, when I said it. After I did, he just sat in silence. I couldn’t take it. I felt so suffocated,”

“And what about him? Don’t you think he’s taking this harder than you?”

“I…” I stared at him.

Changsub sighed. “See? You’re not the only one in your relationship. You have to realize that it’s not just you and that the things that go on in your relationship revolve just around you,”

//

I kept on mulling over the things Changsub told me as I walked home. He was right… again. I was being selfish by not waiting for and listening to Eunkwang. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wouldn’t talk to me again.

Imagine my shock when I saw the said man standing beside the door to my unit in the apartment complex I live in. He looked troubled, worried even. Maybe that’s because I wasn’t there when I said I’d head home.

“Eunkwang,” I softly called his name.

He quickly turned to me and relief filled his eyes. The man sighed my name as he moved to wrap his arms around me. I was surprised at the gesture because it was rare for him to be the first to initiate the hug. I stood frozen against him as he held me in his arms.

“I thought something happened to you because you weren’t answering the door,” he explained. I could hear the nervousness in his voice.

“Sorry. I went to the coffee shop instead,” I mumbled against his shirt.

My heart was racing as he continued to hold me. I felt warm. I felt… assured, like he didn’t need to say anything else. I wanted to laugh at myself for being stupid.

Eunkwang sighed as he moved away but still kept me in his arms. “I’m sorry,”

“No,” I immediately shook my head, “I’m the one who should be sorry. I didn’t think of you and what you were feeling. I was being selfish,”

He gently smiled at me. “I should have been more honest with you too. And I should’ve been more vocal about what I feel. It’s just that I’m scared of saying things that you might not like. I didn’t realize that I was hurting you by not saying those things. I thought that I would hurt you less if I just agree with what you want,”

“I know you’re just doing that to make me happy but,” I encouragingly smiled at him, “I also want to do the things you want to do. I also don’t want to do things you don’t want to. I’ll understand. Can we promise to be more open with each other?”

He nodded as he took in a deep breath. “You scared me earlier. I really thought you were leaving me. I’m sorry. I really am,” he slowly spoke as if he struggled admitting those things. “To be honest, I had the feeling that you’d be with Changsub instead of at home. I didn’t want to believe it so I rushed here,”

“What do you mean?”

Eunkwang pursed his lips. “Because he’s always the one you turn to for anything. I’m… jealous of him. I get jealous when you laugh loudly because of him. I feel like I can’t give you that,”

“Don’t ever think that,” I firmly told him. “You give me so much more than I could ever ask for. You give me so much that I feel like I don’t deserve a wonderful person like you. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way. I’m really sorry, especially now. You probably thought that you weren’t giving me enough when truth is, you have,”

Eunkwang nodded. “Thank you for being honest with me. I’ll do my best to speak up more,”

“I’ll do my best too to be more considerate of what you feel,” I promised as I moved to hug him this time. “I love you,”

I felt his arms slowly wrap around my shoulders to pull me closer to him. “Me too,” he slowly whispered after a while.

I chuckled. “That’s a start,”

[potterandpreferences]

Okay but hear me out:

We know that Harry managed to get himself up onto a school roof when being bullied by Dudley, but he certainly isn't the only child to have grown up in that environment. So what if children with other problems, like anxiety, didn't use their accidental magic to get away from their attacker so much as hide themselves away entirely?

Puberty is a messed up time for a lot of people, and we know that with extreme emotion even wizards/witches already attending Hogwarts can have outbursts (Aunt Marge). So what if there are kids who already displayed signs of anxiety and their magic responding to that, who suffer more as they grow up - because I personally think the wizarding world is going to be even more backwards when it comes to mental health - and end up using their accidental magic like some sort of disillusionment charm?

For those that have some sort of social anxiety, I can easily imagine them not meaning to but ultimately casting some kind of notice-me-not charm so people just look right on past them. They aren't necessarily invisible, people can still interact if they are specifically looking for that person or the person interacts deliberately with someone else, but otherwise they go unnoticed.

The person, once they get used to it, may actually really like it. Why worry about embarrassing yourself socially if no one is even going to register your presence anyway? And that relief maintains the charm and becomes an ingrained defence mechanism. Teachers would eventually notice something is off, but if they still get their homework in and the grades they average are decent, they would not really have a reason to think of one specific student in a sea of so many, especially during post-war booms.

I think muggleborn students in particular would be susceptible because they would be torn between two worlds. Some half-bloods and other muggleborns will understand their friend's heritagd but other students would really struggle to understand muggle culture. Over the holidays when everyone is at home, that person would have to lie to any remaining friends and family who aren't in the know and will definitely ask details about what GCSEs/A Levels they're taking just to maintain the illusion of a muggle schooling, which they probably know very little about and therefore may cause them to stress about coming across as uneducated.

That much stress, feeling like you don't fully belong in either world, would be a major contributing factor to maintaining the charm, consciously or unconsciously. I have no doubt they would over-analyse everything their parents said to establish whether they are okay with magic, or whether they made a conversation totally awkward at Hogwarts by slipping in a muggle reference that the others didn't understand, and it would eat away at them for not being more wizard-minded or not being smart enough to appear well educated in front of their muggle relatives and friends.

Magic protects them. It takes away that stress. But it's a vicious cycle because they would know when people aren't actively looking for them, and their self-worth would take a hit. But that just makes them want to remain unnoticed rather than force their friendship on someone.

In a culture that can fix so many issues with a flick of a wand or by drinking a potion, I think students with anxiety would be completely overlooked especially with so many flashes and bangs happening in lessons. It's not like there's ever much one-on-one time with a member of staff for something other than career advice and detention. There's not really anyone someone suffering with anxiety could turn to, so they keep on going unnoticed.

It wouldn't even necessarily just be those with social anxiety. Someone who has a disfigurement (something 'real' - I use that term loosely, I just mean something others can see and regard as abnormal about the person's features - or an imperfection only they can see) could maintain a glamour so others can't see it. It may not even be something others would judge harshly, something like acne where it's understood but to the person who is suffering with it, they may not want to let others see how bad it is. It could easily get to the point that the person does not want to remove the glamour even if they could because they grew up being judged for that or overheard a comment or something about that issue that stuck with them. They don't want anyone else to see how ugly they themselves think they are. And these glamours may be instinctual magic rather than a recognised charm, they may have to change their entire mentality before they can will it away.

Same goes with students with disabilities. Maintaining a glamour to give the illusion of so-called perfection, or even attempting to self-heal and making things so much worse. Or if someone suffers something like anorexia, their magic could be used to sustain the lack of nutrients and hide a lot of the problems that would have shown up sooner in a muggle, and the condition could still be fatal if it goes far enough. And with as many staircases as there are in Hogwarts, it would not be difficult to push their bodies way past their limits.

The problem with maintaining these charms and glamours etc is that they would always be using their magic, so they would constantly be tired and not achieving their best because they aren't ever at full strength. They would come to accept that they aren't that good at magic, and it would just loop back to whether they even deserve a place in the wizarding world.

And the worst part? Say there are multiple students who this happens to. They wouldn't even notice the other people who are suffering because they have all hidden their problems away. They would never believe they are good enough. Someone going unnoticed would be unlikely to find someone (platonic or romantic) who means the world to them because how could they form a friendship or more with someone who doesn't see them? Where would they get the courage to talk to a stranger when the people they used to consider friends don't even bother to seek them out? Alternatively, say someone maintaining a glamour got told they were beautiful. They would never believe that because they alone know how they really look. Being complimented on what is essentially an illusion would just further make them feel like the real them isn't good enough. And throughout all of this, they would carry on believing they are entirely alone.

[tieflng]

past imperfect future unknown signup letter (wip)

hello gifter! you’re probably eva. if you’re not eva, i’m sorry for assuming!

overall i’m interested in really getting into the weird aspects of these canons-- all of them have canonical time loops or at least heavily implied cycles, and what if it were more explicit? i love canon detail, i love worldbuilding and worldbuilding headcanons, i love really intricate explorations of place or character or relationships, i love adversarial or inimical dynamics and i love close conspirators and found family. rich with detail and thought, i think is my overall preference. something that makes me think.

also have a deep, deep soft spot for requested characters as autistic, otherwise neurodivergent, and gay/trans/nb when not shown in canon. for pyre especially i’d love an exploration of any of the requested characters as moontouched.

as far as general dnws go:  detailed hand/eye trauma, detailed unsanitary descriptions, detailed descriptions of spiders or insects, mentions/references to coronavirus (fictional plagues/diseases are fine), homophobia/transphobia-- fantasy or otherwise, canon-typical or otherwise.

for pyre, please no requested characters in m/w relationships, i see most of them as gay. for transistor, no requested characters shipped with each other, royce or grant x women, requested characters x process (just nasty), or anything to do with suicide, even the canon suicides. for bastion, no requested characters shipped with each other, and nothing that justifies the calamity or ura genocide, vilifies the ura, or has rucks as a sympathetic character.

pyre: Baby You Know I Have Scribes Brain. again. i’ll break this down by characters or relationships and what tropes i was thinking of, though if a different trope combination strikes your fancy i’d love to see it! ‘time travel via dreams and visions’, for example, works Very well with canon and i’d like to see any take on it.

vagabond girl: i like her name to be chae! unstuck from time? traveling back to a traumatic experience in someone else’s past? time travel via dreams and visions? an exploration of what being moontouched means-- any unrequested relationship with scribes would be good, but ESPECIALLY interested in gol and khaylmer-- can’t tell khaylmer his fate? parallels with the nomad scribe who sends her home if she’s liberated, and with the grand traitor who was the original example of her archetype. meeting either of them when they were younger? or their in-depth conversations with a young chae?

khaylmer rope-caller: khaylmer as being the only person who can remember multiple timelines Really interests me, though i could also see that with gol. gol and khaylmer stuck in a time loop together, being the only ones aware, either doing their spy vs spy bullshit ad nauseum or else reluctantly being forced to team up together-- i see their topside relationship as one of deep fear, misunderstanding, and loathing, and khaylmer as older enough to be an uncle figure to soliam. soliam and khaylmer’s dynamic really interests me, too-- so close and trusting right up until the betrayal, a betrayal soliam didn’t even realize until later.

any of the tropes involving a love interest are gol/soliam and i could see them from either perspective-- soliam traveling back and meeting a younger gol, or gol realizing in a vision that he ends up with the Actual Emperor......go ham!

gol golathanian: if you write any of these tropes with gol golathanian i’ll love you forever. looping character keeps dying, accidentally ending up in past self’s body, meeting a younger and brasher version of the master-general, wildly op time traveler (as befitting an eldritch basketball saint), needing past soliam’s help? but basically anything, if you’ve seen me around you Know i have golathanian brain.

soliam murr: ‘time travel back to before redemption/when they were still a massive jackass’ was Made for this man. so was, in a way, traveling back just to savor the past, or else desperately trying to change his past-self’s ways and avert the empire’s fall. soliam unstuck in time on the banks of the river sclorian, having visions of alternate timelines? i just really want regretful sad soliam murr. some angst here is more than welcomed.

ha’ub & ti’zo: i didn’t have anything specific in mind for these two, i just love the idea of a family reunion! let ha’ub visit his favorite grandson and impart some imp wisdom.

bastion: the ng+/restoration ending HEAVILY imply a time loop and a repeating cycle, so why not lean into that? like ‘original outcome cannot be changed’ is literally the point of the game imo. jawson’s bog and the who knows wheres also have elements of time travel through dreams and visions to them. and what about kid’s alternate shadow selves? what’s their story? any of the requested characters with any of the requested tropes, exploring the alternate kids, deep dive into the process of the restoration ending, zulf’s relationship with kid and zia, all that good stuff.

transistor: royce centric, absolutely, though i’d be very down for red or grant’s view of him as a deep dive. i’m really fascinated by recursion and royce’s status as a visionary, maybe red and royce as the only people who remember through recursions? if you can get into the nitty gritty of what the process Does and what cloudbank Is i will love you, same with really getting into royce’s head and examining his past and his mental state.