#he being so arrogant and manipulative and self-conscious

[snz-thoughts]

ast//arion from bal//dur's gate 3 sneezing... that's it

[kaluaah]

rating attack on men cock with insane writers block

i wish you could add music to posts..id add brat

ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐

Levi Ackerman 𖹭

Genitalia: Levi’s is on the smaller side, but it’s perfectly proportioned with a slight curve. He’s meticulous about grooming, so it’s always pristine. He’s the type to keep things tidy and controlled, just like his whole persona. Dynamic: Levi’s definitely a top. He’s assertive and precise, and he likes being in control. However, if he really trusts someone and feels relaxed, he might be open to switching. It’s not his default mode, but he can make exceptions.

Erwin Smith 𖹭

Genitalia: Erwin’s is thick and commanding, reflecting his leadership qualities. It’s not just big in size; it’s impressive in presence. He carries himself with confidence, and his genitalia is no different. Dynamic: Erwin is a classic top. He’s used to being in charge and taking control, which extends to his intimate life. He’s confident and decisive, and he knows exactly what he’s doing. You won’t find him hesitating or second-guessing in this area.

Armin Arlert 𖹭

Genitalia: Armin’s is average in size, but it’s sensitive and responsive. He’s a bit self-conscious about it, often overthinking things. Despite that, he’s genuinely sweet and attentive. Dynamic: Armin tends to be a bottom. He’s a bit shy and prefers to let someone else take the lead. However, with the right partner and when he’s feeling more confident, he’s definitely open to switching things up.

Porco Galliard 𖹭

Genitalia: Porco’s is medium-sized and notably thicker. He’s quite proud of it and knows how to use it. It’s not something he hides or downplays; he’s pretty confident about it. Dynamic: Porco is a switch, but he leans more towards topping. He likes being in control and taking charge, though he’s not opposed to switching it up if the mood and the partner are right.

Miche Zacharius 𖹭

Genitalia: Miche’s is notably big, almost intimidating, just like his overall presence. It’s impressive in size and perfectly matches his strong, authoritative demeanor. Dynamic: Miche is definitely a top. He’s assertive and commanding in all aspects of his life, and that includes his intimate moments. He takes charge and knows how to assert his dominance.

Eren Yeager 𖹭

Genitalia: Eren’s is average-sized but has a slight curve. He’s not shy about it and is quite confident. His more intense and driven personality carries over into his intimate life. Dynamic: Eren is a switch, but he leans towards being a top. His energy and assertiveness make him naturally inclined to take control, but he’s also open to switching when he’s in a more relaxed or trusting situation.

Jean Kirstein 𖹭

Genitalia: Jean’s is well-sized and nicely shaped. He’s confident without being arrogant about it. He knows it’s good, and he’s comfortable with himself. Dynamic: Jean is primarily a top. He’s assertive and confident, enjoying being in control. However, he’s also open to switching if he’s with someone he really cares about or feels a strong connection with.

Connie Springer 𖹭

Genitalia: Connie’s is average and straightforward. It’s not particularly standout, but it’s reliable and does the job just fine. He’s easygoing and doesn’t make a big deal out of it. Dynamic: Connie is a total switch. He’s laid-back and goes with the flow, so he’s flexible about his role in bed. He’s comfortable switching things up based on the mood or his partner’s preferences.

Zeke Yeager 𖹭

Genitalia: Zeke’s is bigger than average, and he knows it. He’s a bit cocky about it, which fits his personality. He’s not shy about showing it off. Dynamic: Zeke is a top with a bit of a manipulative edge. He likes being in control and pulling the strings. He enjoys being the one in charge and directing the action.

Reiner Braun 𖹭

Genitalia: Reiner’s is thick and solid, just like his physique. It’s well-matched to his strong and imposing build. Dynamic: Reiner is a switch but tends to be more comfortable as a top. His natural strength and dominant personality make him more inclined to take the lead, though he can definitely switch things up if the situation calls for it.

Bertholdt Hoover 𖹭

Genitalia: Bertholdt’s is larger than he might realize, but he’s a bit shy about it. He’s not fully aware of how impressive it is, but it’s definitely noteworthy. Dynamic: Bertholdt is mostly a bottom. He’s a bit reserved and can be shy, but with the right partner who can boost his confidence, he might be open to switching things up.

ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐

m so sorry my writing is bleh as heck!! writing with nails is my hell. do not ask for floch i dont write about 1 inch shrivelled yucky cocks.

ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐

[dufferpuffer]

What do you think lupin needs in a romantic partner to have a functioning/healthy relationship (as healthy as this man can manage atleast)? What qualities would this person have to have to be able to deal with all the more challenging aspects of being in a relationship with him? But also what does he want in a partner? And what would he absolutely not want?

Me. I am perfect. Remus Lupin hmu

Remus Romantic Partner pt1: Remus is needy Link to pt2: Remus is good Link to pt3: Shipping, I guess (aint done)

In short: Remus Lupin needs an ANCHOR POINT to harbor his ship. 1. Someone interesting he can pour his attention into. 2. Generally up-beat/optimistic, so he has warmth to lean on. 3. Bold enough to be themselves - even if they're different. 4. Kind and accepting of other people 5. A little 'cute'. 'Quirky'. Small 'issues' support. (just a bonus, really) 6. Independent. Can live without him just fine but still want him. 7. Emotionally strong. Immense maturity and stability. 8. Doesn't have much temper, doesn't start drama or fights. Of course he doesn't need ALL of these boxes ticked - but the highlighted ones are the closest to a MUST for the relationship to even have a chance at being healthy. In long: Explanations (and example characters who I think fit) are below. B^)

Remus is an introverted man. He isn't shy (he can take charge of a room, he can speak publicly, he is good at getting people to like him) but when he isn't the focus he is a wall-flower. He doesn't talk much unless he has something to say. He is deeply, irreparably self-conscious. He has trauma of unintentionally hurting those he loves, so he keeps his distance.

((His parents became sick with the stress of having to move house every few months, find new work every few months, keeping their bank account drained... socially isolated with a son they had to lock away every Full Moon - lest he killed them. They loved him but that was a difficult thing for Remus to grow up witnessing, knowing he was the cause. Knowing him leaving for Hogwarts was the best thing to happen for their health since he was bitten... Of course he pushes people away. He can't help being sick - but he can help them not suffer... if he stays away.))

He is always thinking inwardly. He is always anxious. He wonders how he can make himself smaller, friendlier, less scary… Trying to plan how he wants others to relate to him. He tries to control how others think of him, to steer them away from the bad things... He is a wolf in wizards clothing. If he treats everyone as dolls to manipulate, and if they never know the real him... it will hurt everyone less when he leaves.

1. He needs someone who can bust him out of that toxic mindset. Someone that grabs his attention and pulls it away from himself. Someone interesting, skilled, passionate - living a life he can't achieve. Someone with knowledge or stories he can listen to at length and live a little through them... or they can even include him. More of a talker so he can be a listener, so he can focus on someone else's world - but they're also eager to hear whatever he has to say without prying. They aren't arrogant or loud: they can listen, too. Remus needs good, witty conversation over a cup of tea.

2. They need to be generally up-beat, but not in a way that'll crush his down-beat. They invite him to join in if he wants - or else lean on them like they're a heater for his troubled soul while he feels down. Sometimes he will feel bad, or flat, or tired - and they can't fix it.

I don't think he has any visual preferences. What he notices first about people are their mannerisms. He is always shaping himself to fit the room, so I think he admires people who act authentically: Boldness. Bravery. Honesty. Earnestness. Brashness. So... 3. He would be more attracted to people of subcultures and/or strong interests - or are simply out-of-the-expected-norm. I think he would be fascinated about these little nooks of belonging - alternate 'normal's' when the Wizarding world can be so rigid. (Do I think he has a preference for LGBTQIA+? Yeah. General androgyny too.)

4. Kind. Accepting. They need to be kind to others in general. Because he can't always be kind to others. He puts himself first and sometimes that hurts because he WANTS to be more kind. A partner who can pick up the slack? Who he can trust to always be kind and accepting of him - because they are such a way with everyone...? That's just a requirement, really.

5. A small thing I think he likes in particular: A cute factor. A little clumsy, A little slow, Enthusiastic, Awkward, Weak, A bit short/tall... something that isn't an issue but will pop up every now and then, distract him and make him go '...cute. That was cute.' Something he can effortlessly support. Something he can be thoughtful about, thinking of their needs rather than his own. - They struggle to read quickly? He can read out loud for them. - They tend to act impulsively? He can hold them back just enough to let them to give it a second thought. - They struggle in social situations? So he can talk on their behalf. - They keep fumbling and tripping over? He can keep them steady. It's nice to feel useful and kind in a simple, effortless way. Something so obvious to proves he isn't bad at heart - even when he feels awful.

6. They need to be Independent. What he CAN'T have is someone who NEEDS him. Oh god, the pressure… He cant be trapped. He requires a high level of independence... because he WILL FAIL. He WILL leave and break their heart over nothing. He WILL make promises he doesn't intend to keep - because he intends to run away and never look back. If they NEED him, just to stay afloat…? It will break him. He can't be the bread-winner, even if he could have a stable job. He can't be a long-term emotional support, only short-term. He needs to know that WHEN he breaks down and fucks off not 'if' - even if it's FOREVER… that they will be okay without him. 'Not being ok without him' won't make him stay. He will not 'shape up under a bit of pressure'. It will only injure him.

7. He needs someone strong enough to be forgiving. Not a self-harming, forcing yourself to forgive-and-forget either. That is a very real danger with Remus: If he got with someone who was as much a people-pleasing self-depreciator as him…? He will tear them to shreds. He is a toxic man and he requires tough gloves to handle:- Genuinely emotionally strong. Someone he can lean on, far more than they lean on him. - Wise enough to see through his bullshit manipulations and lies - with enough tact to navigate them, understanding he struggles without judgement but holding him gently accountable. - Empathetic enough to understand him even when he can't explain himself properly. - Mature enough to hold him accountable. Can help him understand how he can do better. He is filled with shame - sometimes for very good reasons that need addressing.

He will go through periods of being unable to be contacted, periods of self-endangerment… He needs somewhere, someone, he can crawl back to in shame. Who WILL talk with him seriously about things… but is willing to just let him sleep quietly for the night in their arms, for now. (Am I saying he needs to date a therapist? Yeah, basically. Dating Remus isn't easy.)

8. Doesn't start fights. Doesn't lash out. Doesn't live off of drama. Remus fits himself into situations passively - he doesn't need someone making situations more difficult to feel comfortable in. If they get angry and yell at him - he will yell one hurtful thing back and leave. He has a very limited ability withstand tension. He tries to keep a level head and a level room - he needs a partner who will support those efforts, or at least not sabotage them.

Partners I think have good chemistry, for examples:

NYMPHADORA TONKS. It is annoying how perfectly she has been made to fit Remus' needs, as she is so underutilized. I wouldn't find her as frustrating if she got more fleshing out in ways that weren't the specific things suited to being with Remus… ugh. - She is a skilled Auror, especially for her age. - She lightens the mood of any room by being playful. - She is unapologetic in being herself, accepting people with ease. - She is a bit clumsy - but capable and hugely independent. - Her ability to roll with the punches is insane: every time Remus is hot-and-cold she has both the ability to hold him responsible for how much it hurts and the strength to still stand there for him. - She is firey and doesn't back down, but she isn't trying to start fights. She's just stubborn and confident in what she has to say. To make claims like 'Remus only likes her because she can shapeshift' or whatever is just... no, its because she is perfect for him.

LUNA LOVEGOOD. Surprising, I know. Perhaps in different circumstances they could have hit it off. - Strong interests, a subculture at the edge of Wizarding society yet she is always 'uniquely' and brazenly herself. - Optimistic and up-beat... a little dreamy, air-headed, focus could use some steering sometimes. - Helpful and kind to all, even those that have been mean to her. - Very used to being alone. Independent in body and soul. Quite comfortable being alone - but friends are nice, too. - Emotional strength is a specialty of hers. Even in the worst situations she keeps her head on her shoulders and, despite how aloof she appears, is intelligent, sharp and serious. - Can make demands when she needs to - not a pushover. Bonus: An interest in magical creatures, too. :)

Close, but I think have a large flaw (that might makes them spicy):

SEVERUS SNAPE - Potions Master. Dark Arts specialist. Veteran teacher. All the steady employment and deep, fascinating interests Remus wishes he could have - along with ALSO having been a Spy... and being misunderstood. They have more in common than they don't. - He isn't optimistic, but he is a problem solver, dedicated to making things better than they are. He faces problems head on while Remus would rather curl away. - He understands feeling quiet and low. He might not be warm, but he is a softer place to rest than you'd expect. - He has never changed himself for anyone. He is stubbornly himself, even when it makes him seem like an outcast weirdo. - He has little patience. He isn't gentle or nice. But he cares enough to be kind, even to those he hates... and he is loyal. It isn't ideal for Remus but it gives him a place to fit himself: If Severus is cold, he is warm. If Severus has the quirk of being a snarky, prickly bastard - Remus is skilled at the opposite. - Independent. Accustomed to being alone. Expects to be alone. Being with someone who understands him... a little daunting, really. The main place I think Severus fails here is emotional strength. He is quick to anger and lashes out. He holds grudges. He starts shit and Remus can't handle shit. Severus needs someone who can temper those anger flares, or at least weather them - and Remus can do neither. But perhaps that is the place they can meet in the middle...?

LILY EVANS - Everyone liked her. Talented, bright and strong-willed, She was a popular girl. I think Remus liked her too, but... James and Severus. - She seems a bit cheeky, quick witted - she brightens a room when she walks in. - She was best friends with Severus for years. Maybe she had other friends in her dorm - but if they were as close to her as Severus was, they would have been HIS friends, too. She was willing to be with the outcast, even when popular. - I know it's a movie quote, but I think it still fits from Remus' POV when he says Lily was an 'uncommonly kind woman' and 'had a way of seeing the beauty in others when that person cannot see it themselves.' I think she accepted him fast and firmly. - She didn't need anyone else. She stood up to James by herself. She knew what she was worth. - She seems to prefer ending fights rather than starting them. She hates a bully. Lily doesn't have the 'grit' (for lack of a better word) to take toxicity. She hated James' bullying. She dropped Severus. She has patience and an 'I can help fix him' desire - but they need to put in the effort, too. James cleaned up his act somewhat and she liked that. Remus isn't going to fully succeed at 'fixing' himself. Not just by 'putting some effort in'. It is going to take so long, and be so slow... Severus would be far easier to 'I can help fix him' - and she couldn't handle him. !!!This isn't saying Lily is weak or something. It is incredibly HEALTHY to not being able to put up with toxic shit, to have the strength to say 'enough is enough'. That is a GOOD thing.!!!

A popular partner I DON'T think works out so easily:

SIRIUS BLACK Sirius Black is a dog. He needs people. He needs constant companionship - especially after Azkaban. He is a mess who needs support, company, loyalty... and Remus can't provide any of that with regularity! Waking up in an empty bed, in a cold room, after Remus timidly promised to 'always be there' for him but was lying... it would shatter Sirius. He doesn't have the strength or stability to lose anyone else. Sirius is honest and sticks to his guns even when times get tough. He would rather DIE than turn his back on a loved one. Remus lies unprovoked and runs away with his tail between his legs at the slightest sign of trouble. Sirius, as a traumatized man, is not going to be able to understand why Remus can just throw away everything he has to run off. How he could just leave him alone again...? Doesn't he love him?! At his worst: he is more likely to try and emotionally trap Remus with him, force him to stay - and that just isn't going to work. Remus is a Wolf. He can't be locked in. I don't even think Sirius at his best, pre-Azkaban, would fit well: - He is upbeat, but in a way that tries to break others out of their funks. It's abrasive for him to hang out with someone sad. ((I'm sure he could learn to do it but his instinct is to help.)) - He is kind - but he has a limit. When that limit is passed, his care is snapped. He holds grudges and he makes judgements. - He is not and has never been independent. He is strong-willed and confident about himself, yes - but he thrives when he is at another's side. He has always been like this Azkaban just made it worse. - He doesn't have what it takes to weather Remus' bullshit. That's not a bad thing either, he know how to cut toxic people from his life when they are too heavy - but post-Azkaban he is even more scared of losing people, which makes him vulnerable. - He starts shit. He jumps into arguments, he escalates, he enjoys the thrill and the drama of it. Remus wouldn't join in, even if he agrees with Sirius, and thus would leave him unsupported. We see this very thing happen in OotP

[zapmth]

Muzan HC's/ thoughts

Am I the only one that thinks even though he's intimidating and arrogant, he def not would be dominant in a relationship like he's just a brat that needs to be put in place

For this reason he's a literal coward and is scared of getting his ass kicked like I'm sure if he was in a relationship' with someone stronger than him than he'd be a submissive but a brat that gets on their nerves

More of a reason I think he likes guys more than girls lmao

He's pretty dramatic and exaggerated in his emotions. He's also very over-emotional, so he'd probably throw a tantrum if he doesn't get his way, or if he's insulted or attacked. Definitely a massive bottom.

Like... He's a sensitive guy. Muzan can be easily upset, he's prone to temper tantrums, mood swings, and fits of anger. Whenever he is challenged or feels threatened, he lashes out with rage and violence. He doesn't cope well with stress or frustration, and usually lashes out physically or verbally. It reminds me of a spoiled child who has never been told 'no'.

 Muzan is a very insecure person, he's always trying to appear strong and powerful, but deep down he's actually quite afraid. He relies on his tremendous power to protect him, and is afraid of being vulnerable or weak. He's also very self-conscious about his appearance and his image, and fears being judged or viewed as inferior.

 Muzan is definitely quite a lazy person. He delegates all of his chores and tasks to his followers, and expects them to do everything for him. He's not motivated to do things himself and would rather have others do it for him. However, he also doesn't like when others are lazy and expects them to be diligent and productive. He thinks he's better than everyone else, and wants people to do things for him. He's kind of a hypocrite

He hates being humiliated and criticized, but loves being praised and admired.

He's definitely a huge egoist, and is very narcissistic, he loves the attention and admiration that he gets from his followers and subjects. He thinks he's better than everyone else, and doesn't want anyone to think otherwise. If anyone criticizes or tries to expose him for the little baby he is, he'll get pissed off and lash out in anger.

How does he fall in love?

 I think that he would be drawn to both a weaker person he can control and a strong person that will keep him entertained and challenge him. He seems to be attracted to strength and power, but he also enjoys controlling and manipulating others. So I can definitely see him having an attraction to someone who is strong and will keep him entertained, but at the same time he'll also want someone he can manipulate to do his bidding.

So in summary, I think that he would be drawn to someone who is strong, entertaining, but also someone he can control and manipulate.

 if he couldn't manipulate and control the person he wanted to fall in love with, he would get bored and frustrated very quickly. He would probably try different methods to gain control and power over the person, but if none of them worked he would likely get bored and move on.

He's a pretty impatient person, so he wouldn't want to waste a lot of time trying to get the person to like him or fall in love with him. If it takes too long or too much effort, he'd probably just give up and move on to someone else.

I think that if someone could successfully dominate and control him, it would bring out a bratty and submissive side to him that he normally hides under his dominant and manipulative persona. He would definitely hate it at first, but I think if the person could maintain control and keep him in line for long enough, he might begin to like be under their control and submit to them.

Relationship with a guy?

Now the category if he was with a guy, and he's the bottom, I think it would be a similar situation with the dominance and submission aspect. Muzan would probably be the more submissive one, and the person he's with would be the dominant one. However, he would definitely play hard to get at first. He might be reluctant to admit that he likes the control the other person has over him, and would initially be very resistant and defiant. But as the relationship progressed, I think he would start to appreciate the control and dominance the other person has over him.

He'd never admit it though

Muzan being the bottom in a relationship with a guy would be quite cute, in my opinion. It would definitely play into his submissive and bratty side, and I can imagine him being very clingy and demanding towards his partner, which would be adorable. The other person in the relationship would probably be a very dominant and commanding partner, who would find it amusing to see Muzan become more submissive towards them. It would be a fun dynamic, with the top taking the lead and making most of the decisions, while the bottom (Muzan) is more passive and clingy.

But not those clingy MF's that be clinging on their whole leg! If you get what I mean LOL

Another thing about him being the bottom in a relationship with another guy would be how protective he becomes. I can picture him becoming very possessive and jealous over his partner, and being constantly wary of anyone else who might express interest in them. He would be very possessive and territorial, always wanting his partner all to himself. If anyone else tried to make a move on his partner, he would not hesitate to fight them.

 I guess any relationship with Muzan is gonna be kinda toxic to some extent. His whole persona is based around manipulation and control, so even if he's the bottom in the relationship, he's still gonna be pretty manipulative and toxic. So yeah, it would be a pretty toxic relationship overall, but I think that's just the nature of Muzan's character. He loves having power over others and doesn't really know how to exist without control, so a relationship without some level of toxicity would probably be difficult for him.

That's it I'm done working my brain for this one? Any suggestions/ requests for other characters or certain HC's (for Muzan?)

[foursaints]

Okay so I've been having thought and questions banging around my mind ever since this ask: https://foursaints.tumblr.com/post/738638080179896320/ok-wait-building-on-my-last-ask-bartys-mannerisms#notes

and i was wondering if you have any thoughts on him when it comes to showering? to like actually having to interact with his body in a really intimate way?? im just so curious to know if youve reflected on this and what you have in mind when it comes down to it. also does he.....touch himself?

firstly there is always the bone motif barty’s bodily autonomy post. but grim made a post here that touches on it a little that i really enjoy.

the way i try to relate to barty is like. in hp we know the soul/"self" is both 1) something that exists 2) is separate from the body. unlike everybody else (as a result of imperius for years, azkaban, polyjuice, the dementor's kiss) barty doesn't really... have a concrete self? if he does its this sorry stifled underdeveloped thing. i mean this narratively speaking not how he personally feels about it. but if everyone else has a soul INSIDE a body, barty is just the body. he IS whatever shape his container is taking (consider imperius, where your inner world=hearing the commands your body is following)(consider how indistinguishable he was from moody. thats probably natural to him)

but we also know that he's clever and manipulative and arrogant and all that despite. so i think the way he sees his body is deeply fucked up (i mean, its Literally a prison) but its also literally all he has. he cant not coexist with it or he has nothing lol... i think he subconsciously views his body mostly as a Tool by which to achieve Ends that he is always Hyper Aware of like he knows exactly what is where and what its doing down to an insane level.

to answer the questions i think he goes through private intimate moments (showering, masturbation) in a manner thats pretty matter-of-fact but otherwise seems outwardly ""normal""? mechanical? its not his Body itself but the conditions under which his body has been used that are traumatizing. he’s still deeply weird & distant about it just not in a way he’s conscious of. he completely lacks normal body insecurities though (“am i ugly” type stuff) like thats just not in the cards for him bc of the Tool thing.

and yet he is still a human being despite!! and i really believe that a little bit under all of that baggage whenever he gets to be alone with himself in those ways its a little heart breaking. peaceful but also terrible? tender but distant? probably his only body-related happy memory is his mother washing him as a child or something. it reminds him of that.

modern au barty is a totally different beast with this stuff though. that guy jerks off like 6 times a day

[peachymilkandcream]

How about them attending a dinner party and Levi keeps fingering her under the table?

Levi x Evelyn -> Keep Quiet

(A/N: Aside from fucking with Petra, humiliating Evelyn is my next favourite thing, part of me is tempted to do something where Evelyn is fucked publicly but that's probably just my demons :P)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc

==============================================

For someone who absolutely hated being late, Levi always insisted on making her late. He had "accidentally" not told her about a very important dinner party with all upper rank officers. She had only found out as he cleaned up the creampie he had given her just a few moments ago. Now she was rushing around like a mad woman trying to find just one clean pair of panties. Levi had made it a habit of either ripping or cleaning off with them and now she couldn't find any. As she picked up the last clean pair she could find Levi snatched them from her hands and put them safely in his jacket pocket, of course he was already dressed and ready to go. The smirk ever present on his face.

"Levi I need those I don't have any others."

"You won't be needing these, don't worry."

"So help me Levi if you do this again-"

"Or what?" He cut her off. "What are you going to do? Got something to say? Speak up."

The words die on her tongue, now is not the time to risk his wrath.

"That's what I thought, now get dressed." He shoves a forest green dress against her chest and waits for her to get dressed.

With no other choice she does as he says, noting the real reason he wanted her bare when he lifted up her skirt three times.

=============================================

By some genius and diabolical plotting on Levi's part, they make it only five minutes late. Embarrassingly though Levi's answers as to why don't hide the reality of what kept them from being on time. Thankfully everyone else was wearing rouge so the blush on her cheeks wasn't out of place.

"I told you we'd be late." She whispers in his ear.

"Of course not. I just made sure to miss all the annoying small talk before dinner was served." As if on cue their hosts motions for everyone to take their seats. "See?" What she wouldn't give to slap the grin off his face.

=============================================

The start of the meal went off without a hitch, Levi seemed to be in a relatively good mood and from what she could tell she hadn't slipped up and found herself out of his good graces. His hand hadn't left her thigh, so either no one had noticed or just chose to ignore it, not willing to risk Levi's wrath. It was uncomfortable and made her self-conscious, but what was she to do? Best to let him be, although the heat from her core wasn't helping the situation at all.

"Mrs. Ackerman, it's so nice to see you around more these days, it seemed like Captain Ackerman had you locked away for so long."

Evelyn opens her mouth to answer but all that comes out is a gasp and a twitch when Levi suddenly runs his finger over her clit.

"Are you alright Mrs. Ackerman? What's wrong?"

Levi gives her a fake concerned look. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

She sees the warning in his eyes, as well as the arrogance, challenging her to call him out. "Nothing, I just brushed my foot against Levi's and it startled me."

Levi seemed satisfied with the answer, rewarding her with a finger rubbing up and down her folds.

"Oh I see, it's nice to see young couples so in love with each other."

She tries to slap his hand away but his grip is iron. "Yes it is-" She pauses to hold in the heavy breathing caused by him rubbing circles in her poor puffy clit, her legs twitching ever so slightly. "And I can just say that Levi and I were just adjusting to married life."

The speaker seems satisfied with the answer and turns to speak with someone else, giving Levi an opening to lean down and whisper in her ear.

"Nicely done. No one would know how wet you are."

"Stop it Levi we're in public."

"Do you think that will stop me? Now be a good girl and stay quiet or I'll push you onto this table and fuck you in front of everyone."

"You wouldn't-"

He raises a brow. "You could very easily find out." His finger plunges into her entrance, making her toes curl as it twists and thrusts into her.

"It's not funny Levi-"

"Then keep quiet. You might think I'm bluffing but I can and will throw you onto this table on all fours like a dog and breed you in front of the entire general staff."

A small part of her heated up at the thought, giving his finger the tiniest of clenches. Whether he noticed or not he didn't say.

"So Mrs. Ackerman." A woman asked, a bit of mocking in her voice, one of the ladies who was not impressed with handsome young Levi being snatched up by a nobody like her. "When will we get the announcement of the next little Ackerman? Or are you one of those women who doesn't want to ruin her body?"

For once Evelyn was grateful for Levi, his movements distracting her from the anger bubbling up. "We're trying for one now if you must know-" Her jaw clamped shut quickly after, as a second finger entered her, scissoring and thrusting into her wet cunt.

Even with just his fingers he was reducing her to a puddle of messy pleasure, if he didn't stop she would cum in front of everyone, and that she couldn't hide. Her dress was a furnace to the heat inside her, she was getting close, so close, she could feel herself almost at the edge.

Somehow, Levi found mercy within him and stopped before she could climax. Removing his fingers completely and wiping them on the napkin. Mischief glinted in his eyes, following by the hint of a wink.

"Good girl." Was all he said as he resumed his meal.

Evelyn's body went weak with relief, able to continue mingling as best she could. Until she felt his hand snake back up her thigh, and she knew she had a long night ahead of her.

[anryuuepic]

Test Subject: Orcus Bio

Name: Test Subject Orcus

Species: Daryan

Race: Blackscale

Role: A Test Subject of Winterkill Works and a young lord from a wealthy family, supposedly bearing a curse where every male loses his mind near reaching adulthood. Paranoid, manipulative, and fixated entirely on his own selfish interests, he seems to be living a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Affiliation: Winterkill Works

Gender: Male

Age: 17

Height: 5’7

Appearance: Orcus is a relatively small young man. While he’s not exactly short, his body is petite, and he doesn’t have a lot of natural muscle. His hair is short, dark gray-brown (almost black), and his eyes are a deep shade of green. His features are handsome and noble, but they’re usually spoiled by his sour expression. He has a small beauty mark under one eye. 

Personality: Orcus grew up under the assumption that he’d turn into a monster, and that did a massive amount of damage to the person he became. Whether or not he’s actually been affected by the so-called “curse” yet, he’s a cruel young man with a paranoid streak a mile wide, who uses people for whatever he can get out of them, never considering others for anything but what use they are to him. He’s selfish, demanding, arrogant, inconsiderate, and perpetually, terribly tense. The slightest things set him off, and the resulting explosions are ugly. Some would insist he was much softer when he was young, and that the root of his terrible personality is purely fear, but little of that vulnerable side ever shows, anymore. 

Positive Traits: Orcus started out as a soft-hearted person who was deeply afraid of succumbing to his family’s curse and becoming a monster. When he was younger, he was very gentle and cautious... though he’s mostly grown out of those traits. Even now, though, he’s a highly emotionally aware person, conscious of both his feelings and the feelings of others, and skilled at reading people’s intentions, even when he doesn’t want to know what they are. He often wishes he could pick up on less than he does. 

Negative Traits: Orcus’s most dangerous trait is his self-destructive belief in his own damning fate. He’s convinced that he’s destined to become a monster, so even though he appears desperate to avoid that, a part of him is already resigned. He’s a weak-willed coward at his core, too afraid to fight what he thinks he’s meant to become. He’s also a highly selfish person; even though he’s hyper-aware of the feelings of others, he’d rather ignore them or use them to benefit himself than do anything good for anyone else. 

History: Orcus is from a fairly wealthy Daryan family known to have a particular curse— upon reaching young adulthood, the male members succumb to a particular, violent form of insanity. Orcus grew up desperate to avoid this fate, which eventually led him to join Winterkill Works on the promise that the organization would offer him some means of avoiding the curse, or at the very least, lessening its effects. When he joined, he took Proserpina, his childhood servant and sort-of friend, with him. 

Relationships: Orcus doesn’t get along with other people well. He’s constantly terrified of being hated by others, so his relationships are fraught with paranoia and lashing out. The only person who’s regularly able to tolerate him is Proserpina, and she has little choice in the matter. Among the other Test Subjects, Mars and Mercury bear a particular grudge against him, and the three of them are highly antagonistic toward each other. 

Interests: Orcus likes stability and routine, his childhood home, and getting his way. He dislikes uncertain situations of any kind, being hated, and feelings of jealousy. His interests include the study of fine art and formal sword fighting, both practices he picked up during his privileged youth. 

WW Role: As one of the specially selected Test Subjects, Orcus was given a particular experimental power. In his case, it’s the ability to force people to unconditionally adore him. Of course, this power came with a cost— it merges love and hate in an unpredictable, unknown combination, so using it is always a risk. He’ll never be abandoned, but he might be despised. 

Miscellaneous: Despite his family only being minorly wealthy, Orcus has some major “rich boy” tendencies; he acts like a spoiled noble, and comes across as twice as pampered and lavishly raised as he really is. Proserpina was given to him as a sort of “morality pet” when they were children, meant to keep him sane by being a permanent companion. He’s treated her cruelly, but he’s also desperately attached to her by now. While he won’t admit it, it’s likely he started the intense feud between himself, Mars, and Mercury by using his ability on the other two. He’s surprisingly routine-motivated. 

Connotative Description: A paranoid young lord who lives a self-fulfilling prophecy in the form of a family curse. Terrified of being hated, yet becomes a hateable person all on his own through his responses to his fear. 

[a-weird-writer]

Given how manipulative our beloved stardroids are, I’d say there’s a high chance of them being yanderes of sorts. Moreover manipulative but some being more isolating than others.

Speaking my language, anon.

Terra is a fine example of yandere. He strides to steal everything and much more from you and all else you may know, burn your beloved home world down to bitter ashes and dust. No amount of bloodshed, devotion or worship you show will ease the hardships he drives you through, everything is for Terra's own personal gain and entertainment.

Terra is the prime definition of danger, a harbinger of negativity. Physically and mentally abusive even with his own family, critical in every shape and form, so no soft spots. You can't love a pet; you can only 'care' for it. 'Care' is already a huge stretch for whatever Terra feels for his S/O. Towards his darling, no true generosity lays in his sharp smile, no kindness above what he personally believes they deserve, which is very little, might I add.

The pride in his talents is truly massive, one who reaps fear and terror. With an ego high as kites, Terra is perhaps unhinged but a mighty foe to face. "Destructive', to use a better word.

His pride isn't out of place,

completely anyway.

Terra is the embodiment of a master manipulator and is far from a fool. Isn't as easy to trick him as it will be easy for him to trick you. The arrogance he lays within his strength plays a large role in his play, as he bats no eye to lie nor to keep secrets under the carpet.

Hell, he probably doesn't even bother to deny hiding things from you. Assuming he doesn't have cards aplenty up his sleeve already. He is just that confident in meeting victory, determination is one hell of a drug, Terra is almost always ripe in motivation. He is a destroyer after all, he never runs away from his target.

That said, Terra isn't above creating an entire shadow of his former self to lead you in a false sense of trust and security. Given he destroys planets and genocides weak races for a living, guilt is next to utterly absent in his mind. Psychopathic, if not, then sociopathic.

It all becomes worse for wear when you finally fall, right where Terra wants you, sitting in the controlling palms of his hands. Ideally with a lowered head and devoted, submissive eyes.

Underestimating Terra's careless conscious is the last thing on Earth you ever want to do. Because when he proves you wrong-and he will prove you wrong-you're going to regret everything you ever did to piss him off. Never soft, never ever compassionate; Terra's mood is pretty fickle on his best days, even then you're always on edge. Always dancing on thin ice, and that ice grows thinnest when boredom suddenly hits.

And Terra enters his worst state when he's bored, because he finds any excuse-any at all-to take it out on you. And best believe he will find one.

Occasionally, merely a glare sets him off, other times it's when your pain and suffering doesn't entertain as much as it used too. Sometimes he gives you complete isolation all together, which honestly, are your best days. You are a pet to him, a weak plaything. And he has no plans to treat you any better sooner or later. Overall, Terra's temper is a fine line in-between what is humanly normal and whatever the fuck robotic aliens identify as insane.

You learn quickly that fucking with Terra never ends well, for you at least. Terra talks to you like trash, in the voice of a disappointed mother and plays games like an impatient child, waiting for their precious toy to do something interesting, only to be angry when nothing actually happens.

Terra's solution?

Make something happen.

Everything is difficult on purpose, to drive you mad. To mess with you and give Terra sincere pleasure and glee. He wants you anxious, wants you dependent and obedient to a fault. Through trauma and pain, you will learn your place, prove your usefulness. Nonetheless, reguradless of how find he may grow, Terra will always figure out another way to hurt you.

His impatience is a plague, a disaster in your daily life underneath the filth in the floor, the dirt at his feet. Centimeter aways from tearing a limb off and leaving you to silently rot all alone in whatever hellhole planet your caged in. He is no doubt cold, cruel and wears his sadistic nature like a badge of honor. With the potential to be worse on top of that. He will go far, further and even further than wherever 'further' is. Being no stranger to pushing the limits and going beyond to ensure he reaches his desires and achieves his goals. If it works, if it proves useful in gaining the most preferred result, Terra will do it.

Sunstar expects nothing but perfection from his underlings, it was hammered into Terra's head since his first awakening into this pathetic existence. And Terra cares not for failures, to never give anything less but the best, no matter who it hurts on the other end.

Including you.

Pain is all Terra truly knows, all he has ever gave or took from anyone in the vast universe he has divided and conquer for his dear lord. Terra is tough, extreme. The most useful and strongest tool Sunstar has ever had in his arsenal. Sunstar's right hand man, his most trusted lead strategist, and it shows.

Despite all this, Terra is only the second most dangerous yandere amongst the Stardroids, excluding Sunstar.

[yanderenightmare]

any tips in writing a yandere midoriya? i’m currently writing this book — and honestly the way you write midoriya is spot on! it’s hard for me to grasp characters, especially since they’re gonna be tweaked since they’re yandere. it’s not only midoriya that’s a yandere, it’s poly, so how do you think he would go about sharing his darling as well?

How to write yandere ! Midoriya Izuku

First: let’s look at the basics, as in key personality traits.

Midoriya is seemingly two things personality wise: he is optimistic and passionate. These two things however are strictly based a certain mindset, certain emotions, emotions that are highly volatile, as in changeable. What we can take from him being optimistic and passionate, is that he is calculating, observant, diligent and tireless. These traits, as opposed to the emotional traits, lack needing to be fueled by certain emotions such as happiness, and will therefore survive no matter his emotional state, which in turn makes them his key personality traits. Viewed in other ways: these are his key personality traits because they are unshakable as opposed to his awkwardness, anxiety and self-doubt, which are also things he can overcome, (things he has overcome in my take of him). All in all, no matter his emotional state, he will always remain calculating, observant, diligent and tireless.

-

Now: having these traits calls for different abilities, a.i. they add up and award him with certain titles. Titles such as Hero, Genius... God.

Being a genius, where his experience as one of the most revered people in the world has led to many opportunities in dissecting and analyzing all his peers, meaning he has a great understanding of the human psyche, which in turn distances himself from them and makes him feel above them. Because, despite being superior, he is still human and still vulnerable to all human faults, and when humans are worshipped, they will think they are God, forgetting their purpose in the light of glory, forgetting that he is a Hero for the people, of the people, by the people and beginning to believe he’s above the law, (which eventually leads to him justifying kidnapping for his pleasure). He genuinely believes no other human can achieve his level of strength and smarts. And having a God complex as well as being psychopathic-smart, will lead to the bending and eventually breaking of morals, where he can excuse his depravity with it being conscious and not mindless, he can excuse it for being for the greater good, something above regular human understanding. Thinking that: because he’s aware of it being wrong, that it is somehow allowed, somehow less dangerous and justified. Completely blinded by his own sense of superiority, never once seeing just how dangerous his feelings of being above the law can become, (definitely not seeing it when eventually regarding his darling).

Secondly: we have to take a look at how Midoriya views love.

Because Midoriya is such an intelligent person who knows the natural laws and works behind love, knowing how it’s simply a chemical reaction made to make animals breed with nothing supernatural or mystical or heavenly about it, he’ll naturally have a very unromantic and practical approach to finding a partner. He’ll want to resist falling prey to dependence.

But, even he cannot fight the vicious bite of loneliness. Finding a perfect someone after so many years of resisting and ignoring and denying those primal urges obviously gets to him in the end, where finding his darling feels almost like godsend. Which was exactly what he was trying to avoid falling prey to, where he was aiming to rise above regular human needs, regular human beliefs regarding love: a concept he had no faith in, a concept he didn't want to have any faith in, but fell for anyway.

However, while beholding his darling as something precious, his own God complex gets in the way of viewing her as his equal, where she’ll often feel as though he doesn’t even view her as human, more like a pet or even a plant, not something to communicate with, but something that should sit still and look pretty, something to maintain and admire, not intelligent like him. 

But, there are different types of smarts in the world. Whereas Izuku has practical, social and analytical intelligence, he’s more or less let go or forgotten about true emotional intelligence. Which is something that will surprise him about his darling, or something that will surprise him about himself, how much he enjoys her presence, her humanity, her basic straightforward moralistic compassion, her need for contact, things he’s long ago forgotten, things he’s only now realizing that he’s missed dearly. At first he believes he’s simply entertained by her, but then he realizes he quite admires her, envies her even, because she’s innocent enough to feel things that he no longer can.

Thirdly: we have his yandere characteristics: sadistic, obsessive, possessive.

-Sadism (groundwork)

It is simply my belief that all yanderes have an inch of sadism dwelling inside them, because I find it hard to digest that any other human without such desires would enjoy controlling another human being. However, the amount of sadism inside may vary drastically.

Midoriya’s sadistic tendencies lies dormant, yet can come out at any given moment, making him rather radical, as in unstable or unpredictable. Though, not like an animal is unpredictable, as he will never act without finesse, he will never act without having complete control over the situation, including himself. We have to remember that Izuku takes great pleasure in knowing how he can rise above impulses. His sadism is more like a hunger that arises every now and again, where which Izuku realizes he is hungry, followed by Izuku luring and trapping his food then playing with his food and finally eating his food. Executed with finesse.

-Obsessive (one side of the coin)

Obsessiveness in general: is not just about laying worship, not just about adoring someone so much that it hurts, it’s about needing someone, needing someone so much that it outweighs and overcomes all obstacles that stand in his way to achieve having them

Obsessiveness in Midoriya: is slightly delusional, where which it tells him that him and his darling belongs together, where he’s optimistic that time will eventually gift him with her love in return. This is his softer side, his more lenient side, his understanding side, his tolerant side. And despite it being slightly delusional, this is actually his more logical side as well, where he’ll bare patient understanding that it’ll take time for her to reform herself, where he takes her emotional status into mind.

-Possessive (the other side of the coin)

Possessiveness in general: is not only about ownership, not only about restrictions, it’s about fear, it’s about reassurance, it’s about finding security in knowing that he and only he will ever have the liberty of having his darling, where he finds an inane amount of uneasiness in thinking she wasn’t always his, needing to find a way to make him forget that disgusting thought by having her belong to him in every single possible way.

Possessiveness in Midoriya: is slightly denialistic and protective, where it tells him that she belongs to him, no exceptions, no room to misunderstand, where what she feels doesn’t really matter because he loves her, he’s chosen her, and she’s simply not allowed to love anybody else, where any refusal will be corrected, will be proven futile.

Fourthly: what is Midoriya’s attitude towards his darling:

Here we add up everything we’ve just considered!

His intelligence calls for a type of deserved arrogance, a vain imagery of himself, making him a narcissist, which again makes him prone to dumbification when approaching his darling, manipulative suggestive language constantly making her feel like her rightful place is beneath him. This can be done in many ways, more so than degrading verbal comments. In visual effects: he can dress her up in innocent clothing just oozing with childlike naivety, braid her hair, decorate her with pastel bows all making her look like a sweet harmless little thing, but more importantly making her feel like a sweet harmless little thing. He can also act out degradation: through head-pats, carrying her places, bathing her. One can even take it so far as infantilization.

Obviously, the creation of rules and laws will build, also the product of his degrading nature, where the list of things his darling can and can't do or should or must do will grow longer over time as he finds that he quite enjoys having this type of control. I believe Izuku is quite lenient but has a breaking point. He won’t enjoy punishing his darling for every single little indiscretion she dares make, believing that this is both time consuming and a waste. His method is to wait until his darling has made a certain amount of faults, her mistakes topping each other like building blocks until the tower eventually tumbles, where which he will deliver a rather large punishment meant to correct her attitude once and for all, or at least until the tower topples again.

He’ll constantly be making a case of how much smarter and stronger he is than her, not in an aggressive way, but in a demeaning, patronizing way, often accompanied by him smiling a chiding smile that looks sweet yet when accompanied by his threatening eyes just look like teeth. Exercising dominance will become like a drug to him, where I’d say he’ll develop both a daddy-kink and a size-kink. His daddy-kink calling for patronizing behavior, teaching her manners and posture and punishing her when she refrains from doing what daddy tells her. And, his size-kink evokes the love to measure everything of his up against everything of hers, often comparing her soft petite precious hands to his deadly scarred ones, how she has no chance of pushing him away whereas he’ll have no problems in crushing her skull if he so wished.

Then of course, his feelings of entitlement call for him taking giant liberties when he’s craving she give him something she’d rather keep to herself. These entitlement feelings coming to fruition through his status as the world number one hero, his morals disappearing in those seconds he manages to twist his view of his darling as her own person into seeing her as his reward, as the world’s way of saying thank you, made simply to please him and having no purpose outside of him.

But, his idealization of his darling encourages him to pamper her, or at least in a way that he views as pampering. He’ll often ask her if there’s anything that she may want, either it be a wish for activity such as art supplies or reading material, or accessories such as jewelry, lingerie, cute little dresses. And when she never asks for anything he wants her to ask for, when her response is always a demand that he let her go, he’ll give her something anyway, something she’ll cry so preciously for to make him stop.

Obviously, I have expanded my view of him here, but I believe the key attitude he’ll carry towards his darling is simply being sweetly degrading, demeaning and patronizing.

Fifthly: how would he go about sharing?

In order for him to feel comfortable enough to share his darling with someone, they have to be someone he respects, someone he can almost look at as an equal or someone he looks up to and idolizes.

In other words: Midoriya will have to love his yandere partner in some form or way to share his beloved darling with them, either it be through mentioned respect, or through loyalty, where platonic or fluid friendship could also be a possibility.

Here are some examples I see being possible poly relationships:

MIDORIYA - ALL MIGHT - relationship based on idolization MIDORIYA - BAKUGO - relationship based on equality/respect MIDORIYA - SHINSO - relationship based on admiration/respect MIDORIYA - “FAN or FREIND” - relationship based on loyalty/trust MIDORIYA - URUAKA/TENYA - relationship based on friendship

I don't see sharing being much of a problem, unless the darling picks favorites. But, because Midoriya is likely much softer than the other yandere, I’m presuming, the favorite will probably be him and not his partner. In that case, he might really like having a parter to compete with! He’ll enjoy how she’ll resort to pleading with and appealing to his soft nature as opposed to the other yandere. He’ll probably love that sort of attention. 

I also think Midoriya will like cornering his darling with the help of his partner, trapping her together. I can definitely see him love playing good cop/bad cop. Perhaps even sharing the daddy-kink. Dynamics like Daddy/Master/”DARLING” or Sir/Boss/”DARLING”.

Also, I think he’ll love gossiping about their darling with each other behind her back, talking about how cute she is when she does this or that, how lovely she looks in that specific dress, how well-behaved she’s gotten, and all sorts of stuff, kind of like parents talking about their child.

[curewhimsy]

Vocal Synth Total Drama Island AU Concept (so far)

———Very Short Character Introductions——— (56 campers in all, aged 14-18) Haku Yowane- A sweet, lonely, sensitive girl with a lot of heart. Age 17. Neru Akita- A courageous tomboy who is misunderstood. Age 17. Miku Hatsune- A bubbly, cheerful, outgoing girl with a lot of friends. Age 15. Luka Megurine- An artistic girl who has a bit of anxiety. Good friends with Meiko. Age 18. Teto Kasane- A bubbly, cheerful girl with an unexpected temper and badass side. Age 15. Megumi “Gumi”- A bit shy, but underneath, she is very brave and resourceful. Age 16. Meiko Sakine- The Mom Friend. Confident and likes to help people. Age 18. Momo Momone- The nicest girl, to the point of being a pushover… Age 15. Rin Kagamine- Unhinged gremlin sibling 1. Loves causing mayhem. Age 14. Len Kagamine- Unhinged gremlin sibling 2. Loves causing chaos. Age 14. Eleanor Forte- The mean girl and drama queen. Cause of lots of drama. Age 17. Kaito Shion- The dorky boy who always has a cheesy smile on his face. Age 17. Akaito Shion- The moody playboy. More serious than Kaito, but bad-tempered. Age 18. Koto Fuuga- Nature girl. Knows all about bird calls, animal behavior, and more. Age 16. Taya Soune- An extremely polite guy. Always dresses formally. Always. Age 15. Ruko Yokune- Despite her height and quirky love of coffee, quite level-headed. Age 15. Ritsu Namine- Loud and obnoxious, but has a caring and wise side? Age 15. Merli Aoki- A snobby, pretentious girl. Not Like Other Girls. Age 17. Lapis Aoki- Mischievous and up to trouble. Merli’s sister. Age 15. Gakupo Kamui- He’s… just strange. And eccentric. And awkward. Age 17. Miku “Zatsune”- A wannabe goth. Basically, she’s in training. Thinks she’s edgy. Age 15. Uta “Defoko” Utane- A sarcastic, moody teenage girl. But she does have a sweet side. Age 15. Dell Honne- Haku’s grumpy, angsty half brother she hasn’t seen in years. Age 18. Yuuma- The popular boy. Eleanor likes him. Can be materialistic. Age 18. Dandy “704”- A very arrogant and vain guy. Quite selfish and loves to show off. Age 18. “Lady” Parsec- A commanding bully who demands and orders people around. Age 17. Yuu- A cheerful guy who likes parties and fun. Age 16. Wil- A somewhat quiet, mysterious guy who keeps to himself. Age 16. Kyo- A wild guy who is impulsive and kind of dumb. Age 16. Daina- Basically, she’s a furry. Her fursona is a fox. Age 17. Dex- Basically, he’s a furry. His fursona is a wolf. Age 17. Ruby- A girl who likes memes and is basically just vibing through life. Age 16. Yukari Yuzuki- A modest girl who has a crush on Ruby. Easily impressed. Age 16. Shian- An innocent girl who is also quick-tempered and pouts easily. Age 14. Muxin- A kind, knowledgeable boy. He loves history and astronomy. Age 14. IA- A bit mysterious and seems cold and expressionless. Age 16. Piko Utatane- Shy, quiet, and cold. Gets along with Muxin due to similar interests. Age 15. Genbu- Overly-enthusiastic and brash. A bit of a loudmouth. Age 18. Chiyu- Bold, brash, and brave. Kind-hearted and strong. Age 17. Haiyi- Talks a lot. Usually has something up her sleeve. A prank perhaps? Age 16. Leeds Kasumiga- A timid girl with a mysterious heart illness that inhibits her. Age 14. Mew- A real goth, unlike Zatsune, who is a goth-in-training. Age 18. Tei Sukone- A dastardly, manipulative villain who fools people, then bites. Age 16. Cider- A smug, self-absorbed inventor of elaborate but stupid inventions. Age 17. Bruno- An agreeable, outgoing guy who likes spreading good vibes. Age 18. Clara- Bruno’s girlfriend. A little bit timid, but always kind and optimistic. Age 17. Aku Yamine- Quiet and a bit melancholic. She’s… a different type of goth. Emo? Age 14. Lily- A tough high-school delinquent who stands up for the weak. Age 17. Amy- Cheerful, optimistic, yet quite chill. Doubts herself often however. Age 16. Chris- He might be a big guy, but he is quite shy and very gentle. Age 18. Kaori- She seems confident and bright on the outside, but hides sadness? Age 17. Ken- He’s talkative, smart, kind of a dork, but very focused and brave. Age 17. Iroha Nekomura- Innocent and sweet, but agile, with cat-like reflexes. Age 14. SeeU- Energetic, hyperactive, makes bad puns, silly, makes bad puns… Age 16. Kiyoteru Hiyama is the host of the game show. Big Al is in the role of Chef. ——Episodes——— Prologue 1- Introduction to concept. Characters see the advertisement for the game show and contemplate going on it. The winner gets a million dollars! Prologue 2- Introduction to characters via their audition videos, part 1. Kiyoteru chooses contestants. Prologue 3- Introduction to characters via their audition videos, part 2. Kiyoteru chooses contestants. Episode 1- Everyone arrives at Total Drama Island and meets each other. Some get along, and many clash. Notable big-drama-causers include Tei, Eleanor, Dandy, Parsec, Cider, Merli sometimes, and Zatsune sometimes. Koto, Genbu, Ritsu, Haiyi, Daina, and Dex stick out for being especially wild. But really, everyone’s unique personality contributes to the drama and pot of chemistry in their own way. Another camper who sticks out is Gakupo Kamui, who enthusiastically boasts about his skills in martial arts and how ready he is to win Total Drama Island. He begins to get on the nerves of the other campers. “I can out-run, out-kick, out-sing, out-wit, and even out-PISS anybody else here.” Gakupo says. “Well, can you do us a favor and GET-out?” Meiko says. Episode 2- Campers have to jump off a one thousand-foot cliff into a shark-infested lake. Then they have to pull some crates back to camp, and the team from before with the most people who jumped get carts to help them. Then they have to build a hot tub from material found in the crates. The team with the best hot tub wins the challenge. The campers who were too scared to jump off the cliff have to wear chicken costumes for the rest of the day. Despite his incessant bragging previously, Gakupo is one of the few campers who does not jump off the cliff, because it is revealed he is scared of heights, sharks, AND deep water! He even pisses himself and dramatically faints when he gets close to the edge of the cliff... and then he faints off the cliff! However, his jump isn’t accounted for, because Gakupo was not conscious during his fall. Luka has to be the one to jump in after and rescue him! This causes Gakupo of The Dangerous Dolphins to be the first campter voted off. “Well… I guess he was right about out-pissing everyone here.” Neru laughs. The other campers too scared to jump are Taya, Dandy, Eleanor, Clara, Muxin, Chris, and Kaito. Haku is at first too scared, but her best friend Neru encourages her to be brave. They jump together and yell funny things on the way down. Even though Eleanor is scared, she ends up going over anyway after Chiyu pushes her off the cliff, being sick of Eleanor’s arrogance. However, it isn’t even accounted for, because Eleanor did not jump by her own will. Clara is too frightened and doesn’t make the jump, which is surprising, because she was so enthusiastic before. However, her boyfriend Bruno jumped without her… Taya takes one look down the cliff and starts backing away, crying from fear. He feels ashamed that he’s so scared, but he cannot help it. He gets pats on the back from Clara. Dandy makes an excuse as to why he can’t jump. He says he has an open wound from a fencing accident. In reality, Dandy does not fence. Muxin is too scared, but asserts that he doesn’t have to jump off the cliff if he doesn’t want to, and that the challenge is ridiculous. He then comforts Taya, who is curled up sobbing, and tells him not to feel shame. Taya and Muxin become friends, but sadly are on different teams. Chris is too scared and actually starts crying too. People don’t expect it. Kaito is scared to jump, panics and makes a bit of a scene, and is then picked on and belittled by his brother Akaito for the rest of the day. Kaito then vows he will become braver from here on. Braver, and stronger! Leeds actually does jump from the cliff, but it causes her heart to become weak and she has trouble walking for the rest of the day. Some of the members on her team rudely deem her a nuisance, but others tell her to take it easy and understand her. Afterwards, Clara gets a bit sour at Bruno, who is her boyfriend, for jumping the cliff without noticing she was too scared. Koto jumps the cliff and she actually has fun. But afterwards, she wears a chicken suit anyway, because she loves birds. Episode 3- The challenge is to stay awake the longest in the "Awake-A-Thon" after running twenty-kilometers and eating a huge meal that includes turkey, which is known for making people sleepy. Dell of The Killer Porpoises gets voted off for falling asleep first. He generally has a bad attitude and is apathetic. Haku feels heartbroken because Total Drama Island was the first time she had seen Dell since her parents’ divorce (by complete chance, even,) and he is not the warm person he used to be. Also, the time was so short. But unexpectedly, Dell acts nice to Haku right before he leaves, calling her to his room when he’s packing to go off the island. They have a nice conversation. Before Haku says goodbye, Dell says “Listen, I’m just not cut out for this wacky game. So you better win. I KNOW you can do it.” Haku begins crying and hugs Dell. Just like when they were kids. There will eventually be a list of who falls asleep first to last, but that’s quite convoluted. So I will say Dell falls asleep first, and Ruko second. Campers were not allowed to drink coffee during the challenge, rendering our Long Sleeper without access to her “secret weapon.” Koto stays up the longest, because she is a bird lover and loves birds too much to consume them. She was the only one who didn’t eat any turkey with her meal, and therefore didn’t become as sleepy. Also simply because she is badass and feral. Episode 4- A best-of-five dodgeball game. Five people are randomly chosen on each team. This is repeated three times for a total of three rounds of dodgeball. The Dangerous Dolphins win 2 out of 3 games. Zatsune of The Killer Porpoises gets voted off for being scared of dodgeball. It was a fear ingrained into her from her elementary school days, when the “dodgeball kids would bully her.” Sadly, since Zatsune always acts so cocky, nobody feels much sympathy now. Taya and Muxin want to spend time with each other. Being on different teams, they can’t, and are deemed traitors. But when Tei, on Taya’s team, suggests Taya could get valuable information about the other team via Muxin, Taya refuses to sabotage their friendship. This causes Tei to begin picking on Taya… Episode 5- A three-on-three talent show contest. Dex of The Killer Porpoises gets voted off for no reason. He wasn’t even in the talent show! Dandy wanted to get chosen by his team, the Dangerous Dolphins, to be in the talent show, claiming his “talent” was unmatched. However, he wasn’t chosen because he didn’t exactly have any real actual skills despite his claim! Taya, Luka, and Gumi are eventually chosen by the Dangerous Dolphins for their talents in music. Luka will play piano, Taya will play the violin, and Gumi will play the electric bass as they all sing a song cover. This causes Dandy to criticize their every note and call them amateur. Given Taya and Gumi’s low self-esteem, Dandy’s criticism gets to them before the final talent show. As for the Killer Porpoises, Yuuma, Ritsu, and IA get chosen as the team’s musicians. They form more of an idol dance group, with a pre-recorded background track. (It will also be a cover.) The Dangerous Dolphins actually win. If they were to have lost, Dandy would’ve probably been the one voted off for being a prick. Episode 6- Campers have to go to the forest, stay out there overnight, then race back to the campgrounds in the morning. Yukari of the Killer Porpoises gets voted off. See, it wasn’t really Yukari’s fault, but… she got attacked by a bear and is now too injured to stay for the game, so the voting off was mandatory, even though the Killer Porpoises otherwise won. Everyone becomes more-or-less traumatized at this, and feel very hurt for Yukari. Episode 7- Campers have to face their worst fear, specific to each camper. Yuuma gets voted off. Koto’s worst fear is the perfume department from Spongebob, because that scene scarred her as a little kid. So the host of the game show, Kiyoteru, magically opens a door to the perfume department at a real department store and Koto has to walk through it. Koto only makes it 5 steps in before she runs out, screaming. She does not pass her fear test! Yuuma is scared of the Crab Rave because there are too many crabs. So he is taken to a part of the island overrun by crabs, and Kiyoteru turns on the Crab Rave song and they all start dancing. Yuuma dives into the water screaming. But the crabs chase him. He doesn’t pass his fear test. Taya attempts to outwit Kiyoteru and pretends he is afraid of strawberry shortcake, which is actually his favorite food. But everyone remembers how scared he was in the first challenge at the cliff. So Taya’s specific challenge is to jump off the cliff this time… Episode 8- Row a canoe to Boney Island, portage across the island, start a bonfire, and canoe back to camp. Wil gets voted off. Episode 9- Hunt the other team dressed as deers with paintball guns, or if one is a deer, avoid being hit by them. Piko gets voted off. Episode 10- Create a three-course meal for Kiyoteru to judge. Three chefs are chosen from each team. Miku gets voted off. Episode 11- Participate in a set of three-out-of-five trust exercises. Shian gets voted off. Episode 12- Make it through Big Al’s life-threatening and disgusting boot-camp challenges. IA gets voted off. Episode 13- Participate in three extreme sport challenges. The challenges are "sofa skydiving", riding a moose while avoiding being tossed off it, and water-skiing on mud. Lapis gets voted off. Episode 14- Eat a nine course meal of disgusting food made by Big Al. Drink shot glasses of blended cockroaches. Yuu gets voted off. Episode 15- Episode 16- Episode 17- Episode 18- Episode 19- Episode 20- Episode 21- Episode 22- Episode 23- Episode 24- Episode 25- Episode 26- Episode 27- Episode 28- Episode 29- Episode 30- Episode 31 Episode 32- Episode 33- Episode 34- Episode 35- Episode 36- Episode 37- Episode 38- Episode 39- Episode 40- Episode 41- Episode 42- Episode 43- After this challenge, the teams are disbanded. It’s now every camper for themself. Episode 44- Get through several rounds of torture, lasting at least ten seconds in each one. Eleanor gets voted off because she can’t take torture. Episode 45- Receive a clue to find a key hidden somewhere in the island to open a treasure chest containing a prize. Ritsu found a dud chest and his prize was… getting voted off. Episode 46- Avoid getting sprayed by Big Al’s water gun in a game of hide and seek. Parsec gets voted off. Good riddance! Episode 47- Build a bike from scratch, and then race it. Who rides who’s bike? Anyway, Dandy gets voted off. Probably because he’s 7 foot 4 and huge. He probably broke all the bikes. Episode 48- Watch a horror movie and then avoid being captured by a "deranged killer". Gumi gets voted off because she was scared. Episode 49- Catch the specific animal assigned by Kiyoteru and bring it back to the campground unharmed. Taya had to bring back a raccoon. He came back first. Koto had to bring back a bear. She came back second. What a total beast! And I’m talking about KOTO! Genbu had to bring back an eagle. He came back third. Leeds had to bring back a frog. She came back fourth. Kaito had to being back a squirrel. He came back fifth. Haku had to bring back a moose. She came back sixth. Tei gets sent off because she couldn’t bring back a mere chipmunk. The little chipmunk was trained in king-fu and ended up beating her up! Hooray! Episode 50- Compete in the following while handcuffed to one of the other campers: eat disgusting food with your hands behind your back while the person handcuffed to you feeds you, return a fragment of Haku’s cursed tiki idol to Boney Island, and assemble a totem pole with the wooden heads of the voted out campers in the order that they are eliminated. Taya gets voted off. Episode 51- Campers have to find Kiyoteru and Big Al after being washed away by a storm. Leeds gets voted off because her condition came to its worse. Her weak heart had finally failed on her and she suffered a heart attack. She was doing so good in the game despite her shortcomings, and will serve as an inspiration for many. Leeds will not die. She is in good hands. She will get top medical care. Now, a twist is revealed to the audience. Everyone who was voted off actually went to go to a beautiful island resort. The remaining campers still don’t know about this. When Leeds finally gets consciousness back, she finds she is in paradise. At first, she thinks she is dead. The room then fills up with everyone else voted off, and she begins crying. “They really killed you?” She cries. “No, Leeds!” Yukari says. “You’re alive! You made it… to Paradise Island!” Episode 52- An episode dedicated to the Island of Losers, which is actually a five-star island resort paradise. Yukari has fully recovered from her injuries. Gakupo and all the others who were eliminated early finally get their time to shine! The losers will also be involved in the episodes to come, as they will be the audience. Episode 53- The campers have to find their way back to camp after being left in the wild with limited supplies. Unexpectedly, our total beast, Koto Fuuga, comes back last. Rumors have it, this is because she found a bird sanctuary and got distracted. Episode 54- Survive a series of dares, given by the eliminated campers until someone drops out. Haku is forced to do something horrible by Tei. Tei dares Haku to joke around and portray offensive stereotypes. On national TV. She just can’t do it… She drops out, but not before insulting Tei to her face. But Kaito says Haku made the right choice. She sacrificed her chance to win a million dollars so that Tei didn’t have to force her to make a choice that could hurt people when they see it on TV. Kaito thinks Haku deserves an amazing consolation prize. Genbu respects Haku for this as well. Episode 55- The two remaining campers have to climb a pole and retrieve a flag, walk across a board on top of shark-infested waters while carrying an eagle's egg, and run a race to cross the finish line. Kaito is about to give up… but… There is ice cream at the finish line! Kaito makes a mad dash to the finish line and wins Total Drama Island!! Episode 56- Kaito won! But there is a twist. In order to actually win the million dollars, he has to find the a case containing the $1,000,000 and bring it to the Dock of Shame before anyone else does! This is a race between him and all the other campers! If any of the other campers being it to the Dock of Shame before Kaito, there will be a whole second season of Total Drama Island, and Kaito will have to win all over again before he gets his million dollars… ———Teams——— ———The Dangerous Dolphins——— Taya Chiyu Meiko Kyo Koto Tei Momo Neru Akaito Clara Gakupo Gumi Shian Dandy Luka Merli Daina Haiyi Lily Len Amy Ken SeeU Cider Teto Haku Uta ———The Killer Porpoises——— Yuuma Zatsune Mew Eleanor Ruby Dell Kaito Ruko Ritsu Wil Leeds Genbu Dex Bruno Iroha Miku Piko IA Chris Kaori Yuu Parsec Rin Lapis Yukari Aku Muxin ———Notable relationships——— Familial- Akaito and Kaito are brothers. Lapis and Merli are adoptive sisters. Haku and Dell are half-siblings who don’t live together, and haven’t seen each other in years before Total Drama Island. Rin and Len are twin siblings. Haku and Miku are cousins. Amy and Chris are cousins. Kaori and Ken are twin siblings, yet distant. They didn’t grow up in the same household. Ruko has a close cousin named Rook, who isn’t on TDI. Momo has an older brother, Momotaro, who isn’t on TDI. Uta has a younger sister, Koe, and two older brothers, Hibiki and Kanade, who aren’t on TDI. Teto has an older brother, Ted, who isn’t on TDI. Leeds has an older brother, Loop, who isn’t on TDI. Yukari has a little sister named Akari who isn’t on TDI. IA has a little sister named One who isn’t on TDI. Friendship- Miku, Rin, Len, and Luka have been a group of friends before TDI Haku and Neru were best friends before TDI Dex and Daina were best friends before TDI Momo, Teto, and Uta were best friends before TDI Ruko meets Ritsu and they become best friends Taya and Muxin become unlikely friends, despite being on different teams Romance- Bruno and Clara were dating before TDI Teto and Momo’s friendship eventually becomes romance. Haku meets Luka and they form a budding romance Amy meets Kaori and they form a budding romance Taya meets Uta and they form a budding romance Muxin meets Piko and they form a budding romance Lily meets Gumi and they form a budding romance Crushes- Len has always a crush on Miku. Tei has an obsessive crush on Kaito. Yukari has a crush on Ruby. Leeds has an embarrassing crush on Genbu. Eleanor has a crush on Yuuma. Ken has a crush on Chris. Dandy has a crush on Parsec. Akaito has a crush on Haku. Zatsune has a crush on Mew. She denies it. Gumi has a crush on IA. Dislike- Dandy and Cider always fight… with a weird sort of tension. Akaito and Uta don’t get along Miku Zatsune and Miku Hatsune don’t get along Lily and Merli don’t get along (MORE COMING SOON)

[emachinescat]

So I've been wanting to write this since 5x10, but just now got the chance. This is a look at the ending scene from Murdoc's creepy, possessive obsession with Mac, and it plays with the idea of what might have happened if Bozer hadn't done the trick with the static (sorry Boze for taking away your moment of glory, but creepy Murdoc trumps hero time). Anyway, I hope you enjoy my twist on this episode. It was fun to write. Murdoc is fun to write. What does that say about me? ;)

Title: Murdoc + MacGyver - Everyone Else | Fandom: MacGyver 2016

Summary: AU ending to 5x10. Murdoc never planned on killing MacGyver in that skyscraper. Certainly not for the likes of Andrews. Or, in which Bozer doesn't do his trick with the comms and Murdoc sends a very clear message to all of Codex that MacGyver is HIS.

Characters | Pairings: Murdoc, Mac, Andrews, Riley, Desi

Words: 2,594

TW: Murdoc being creepier than usual, I guess

AO3 Tags: Murdoc Is Obsessed with MacGyver, Obsessive Murdoc, Possessive Murdoc, Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016) Whump. Hurt Angus Macgyver (Macgyver 2016), Season/Series 05, 5x10, 5x10 au, Implied MacRiley, Manhandling, Creepy Murdoc (MacGyver TV 2016), Obsessive Behavior, TW Creepy Obsession, Diamond + Quake + Carbon + Comms + Tower, Murdoc POV

Full story here or on AO3!

It was adorable, really, Murdoc thought as he lowered the improvised cutting torch slowly, steadily, agonizingly closer to MacGyver’s bruised and bloody face, that Eric Andrews thought that Murdoc was going to go through with this.  The general was a ridiculous man, the kind that Murdoc most enjoyed killing.  Arrogant and pretentious,yet stupid enough to believe he could manipulate, even control, Murdoc, he was a man who would look lovely with Murdoc’s gun pressed squarely between his eyes.

Yet despite his faults, he had been useful.  He’d helped Murdoc escape from the blacksite, and in return, Murdoc had vowed to help him set a trap for MacGyver.  Andrews wanted to broadcast Angus’s death to the heads of a terror cell.  It was his way of “interviewing” to become the head of the organization.  And what would Murdoc get out of this arrangement?  Other than his freedom, he would be given the opportunity to play with MacGyver before Andrews dealt the final blow.

So Murdoc used Andrews to escape the blacksite, and together they set this ingenious little trap for the genius himself.  He’d used Andrews and his resources as a means of playing his newest game.  He smiled and nodded when Andrews spouted his rhetoric, adjusted his plans as Andrews directed, and valiantly kept from gutting the egocentric wackadoodle – somehow – during the course of their time together.  He’d almost snapped and killed the guy, once.

He hated the way that Andrews spoke about his Angus MacGyver, gloated about how cathartic it would be to see the light go out of those blue eyes.  How he relished the notion of feeling MacGyver’s life sleep away, how he fantasized about wrapping his chains around that smooth, pale neck and squeezing , slowly and intimately, with all of Codex watching – after Murdoc had had his fun with him, of course.

Murdoc’s profession had always allowed him to maintain a rather fluid lifestyle, and until MacGyver had come onto the scene, the killer had moved from one job to the next without distraction.  He had never been one to get caught up or fixated on any one thing – as a killer, he understood the impermanence of life in a way few others could.

That is, until Angus “Boy Wonder” MacGyer.  Suddenly, Murdoc had a muse, a partner in his games, a worthy opponent, his very own Sherlock to his Moriarty.  And the thought of anyone – especially Andrews, that self-important crackpot who was so empty all he could do was spout the words of people who’d come before him – looking at Angus MacGyver with that kind of fire in their eyes, that kind of hatred, that dark intent, stirred something primal and angry deep within the hollow, twisted remnants of Murdoc’s soul.  Even worse was hearing that obnoxious, pedantic voice boasting about all the ways he planned to hurt MacGyver, all the ways he planned to kill him in front of a live studio audience.  A foregin, almost protective rush had overcome Murdoc.  The things that Andrews described, the torture, the killing itself – those were things that no one except for Murdoc himself could do to Angus MacGyver.

Murdoc could have snapped and killed him, then.  He almost had.  The trap had been set, MacGyver would soon be on his way.  Murdoc could take out Andrews in one surprise hit and wait for his BFF to arrive.  They might even get some time alone together before the rest of the love triangle showed up.  But he had stayed his hand.  He needed Andrews to contact Codex.  He had a message he needed to send.

And so he’d resisted the drumbeats of death so loud they blocked out his thoughts, and hadn’t put a bullet between Andrews’s eyes.

And now, here he was, in the moment of truth.  It had been a bold move, out of character, if you will, for Murdoc to take on MacGyver in hand-to-hand combat.  Normally, Murdoc avoided using brute force, not because it wasn’t fun – because, boy howdy, was it fun – but because his tools were much more precise than fists, and could cause more pain with less chance of unintended damage.

But this was a special occasion, and he allowed himself to indulge.  And it was a truly delicious situation, made all the more exhilarating with the knowledge that so many people were watching him work.  Not Codex – he hadn’t given a rat’s ass about Codex in that moment – but Phoenix, whom Murdoc had just manipulated and played with like a puppet master with his creepy little mannequins.  He kept an eye on the girls, and chills ran down his body as he saw the fear and desperation in their eyes, the way they strained helplessly against their bonds to get to their friend who was himself completely at Murdoc’s mercy.  He couldn’t see Matilda or Bozer or Taylor, but he could hear the fear in their voices when they spoke, and his mind’s eye conjured a splendid picture of their terrified eyes fixated on the screen, forced to watch as their golden boy was beaten and eventually murdered in front of them.  It was glorious .  Murdoc wished that moment could go on forever.

He truly had relished every hit he’d landed on MacGyver.  Bless him, he tried to fight back, but he was just a spy trained in field comat.  Murdoc was a killer.  Just because he didn’t use his fists that much anymore, it didn’t mean he didn’t know how to.  He was quick, and stronger than his lithe frame would suggest.  Beneath the long-sleeved shirts and black leather jackets, lean, deadly muscles lurked like a snake in the grass, always ready to strike – and strike fast.  Every kick, every hit, every punch to the face sent bolts of electricity up Murdoc’s arms.  He saw the moment when MacGyver’s cheek split open, watched the blood slowly trickle down as he wound up for another hit.  After about three hits directly to the face, MacGyver couldn’t hold himself up anymore and he made weak, desperate grabs for Murdoc’s jacket.  Murdoc felt the tug on the fabric, relished the feeling of MacGyver needing him in that moment.  When he threw MacGyver against the heavy metal support, he felt like a god.

Now here we was, with his greatest foe having literally just been under his boot.  His left hand was wrapped around MacGyver’s right wrist, pinning it down, his knee pressed against the half-conscious agent’s chest to keep him in place.  In his hands he held a tool that, as he had said moments ago, would be the most poetic end to MacGyver he could have concocted – finally silenced by one of his own fancy little inventions.  For a moment, Murdoc was tempted to plow ahead, not to kill, but to play, to hurt , to watch the dazed fear in his muse’s eyes turn to pain and sheer terror… but he had more important things to do.  Maybe he would take this toy with him when he left, and save it to use on MacGyver another day.

He leaned in close, his knee pressing harder into MacGyver’s sternum, and the boy wonder grunted in pain, gasped for breath.  Murdoc leaned closer, his face inches from his prey’s, and watched MacGyver’s concussed eyes go wide at the close proximity.  Murdoc noted with satisfaction that he’d really done a number on his blue-eyed buddy this time – the pupils were unequal, one dilated and the other not.  Murdoc whispered in Mac’s ear, “Don’t worry, friend, I would never let a pig like Andrews kill you.  I’ve got your back.”  He pulled back and winked conspiratorially.  Then, in one fluid motion, he dropped the torch, drew his gun, and shot Eric Andrews one, two, three times, right in his smug, ugly face.  The general didn’t even have time to be surprised by the betrayal.  He was already dead.

From across the room, Murdoc could hear one of the girls – probably the loud, bossy girlfriend – yelling something, but he didn’t pay attention.  Instead, he gripped MacGyver by the front of his jacket, hauled him to his feet (sort of; MacGyver slumped in Murdoc’s arms, unable to stand on his own, but Murdoc had no problem with that at all), and stood there facing the drone.  He could feel MacGyver trembling in pain, and it nearly sickened him that he was going to cut this meeting short.  Still, once he took care of this pesky Codex visit, he could look forward to plenty more games with his adversarial soulmate in the future.

Glaring up at the camera, Murdoc gave Mac’s weak, beaten form a little shake.  “See this guy?” he demanded, not waiting for an answer.  In the second of dead space between his question and answer, he did notice that Desiree had stopped yelling.  No one at the Phoenix was speaking.  Everyone was waiting, he knew, with bated breath, to see how this would turn out.  “Angus MacGyver, here, is mine. ”  He felt MacGyver stir weakly in his arms, protesting Murdoc’s claim even when concussed and barely cognizant.  “Hush, now, Angus,” Murdoc hissed.  “I’m trying to save your life.”

To Codex, he continued, “I love a good murder as much as the next guy.  Hell, more than the next guy.  Way more than him, actually.  So much more that I’ll kill the next guy just to scratch that itch.”  He grinned his most feral grin.  “But MacGyver is not on the market, you hear me?  The only one who is allowed to murder him is me .  Your Andrews was pathetic, a great brute who pretended at being a scholar because it made him feel important.  I meant what I said earlier, fellas – and ladies – this guy is so smart.  Way too smart for the likes of you.  Too smart for Andrews.”

He bared his teeth, shaking MacGyver once more to emphasize his point.  “Angus is my muse.  He’s my dance partner in this crazy murder-tango we’ve been doing for the past few years.  You thought I was being dramatic when I started reminiscing about the good old days earlier?”  He paused, thought, then amended, “Okay, so I was being dramatic, but I meant. Every. Word.  And it all boils down to this: The only one who’s going to end his life is me .”

A voice from the speakers, a female’s, cold and dead, offered, “Then kill him now.  Perhaps we can find a place in Codex for one as ruthless as you.”

Murdoc laughed out loud, throwing his head back.  His body trembled with giggles, and he heard MacGyver emit a grunt of pain at the motion.  “Whoops, sorry, buddy,” he apologized giddily, then shook him a bit more, this time for fun.  MacGyver stayed steadfastly quiet this time – bor -ing!

Murdoc sobered in an instant, letting every ounce of hatred, death, and chaos flood his gaze as his lips set into a thin line and he tightened his grip on MacGyver, who pushed feebly against his arms.  “You really think I want to be a part of your girl scout troop?  Please.  Codex before Angus MacGyver happened to it, maybe.  But now?  You all are ridiculous, dethroned kings who scrabble hungrily for any crumb left to you in your moldering ruins.  You aren’t powerful.  You aren’t smart.  That Leland was the only good thing you had going for you, and now he’s gone.”  He all but purred his next words: “And with what, a shot to the chest?  Precisely aimed, almost like a hit man had taken him out?  Hmmm….”

“ You are claiming responsibility for Leland’s death?”

Murdoc shrugged.  He finally, reluctantly released his grip on MacGyver, and the blonde tumbled to the floor.  Murdoc watched from the corner of his eye as he immediately began to drag himself slowly, agonizingly, away from Murdoc and toward his gal pals.  Murdoc rolled his eyes and clamped his boot down on MacGyver’s bruised back once more, effectively pinning him in place.  Too easy.  He peered into the camera again, rolled his shoulders, cracked his neck, and hissed, “Believe what you want about Leland’s death.  But do you really want to mess with the bastard who killed this great paragon of new wave terrorism?  Not saying it was me, but damn.  Whoever this guy is must be one tough cookie.  And I would advise you, friends ,” – never had that word held so much derision – “to not play with his toys.”  He ground his heel into MacGyver’s back a little deeper.  “The TL;DR?  MacGyver is off-limits.  If you kill him, I kill you, ten times more slowly and painfully than I plan to kill him.  Got it?”

Without giving the council a chance to respond, he raised his gun and shot the drone out of the air.  He tossed the gun aside, sighed, and stepped off of a weakly moving MacGyver.  He grabbed the genius under the armpits and dragged him to the opposite side of the room from the girls.  Producing another zip tie, Murdoc secured MacGyver to the nearest piece of equipment and stood back to observe his handiwork.  Paying no mind to the sorry state he was in, Angus was already stubbornly pulling himself up to a sitting position, bloody face set in pain and determination.  “You,” he panted, lifting his eyes up to meet Murdoc’s, “are insane.”

Murdoc laughed.  “I thought we’d already established that long ago, dear.”

“Don’t call me,” MacGyver wheezed, “dear.  Despite your… delusions, I do not … belong to you.  Or to anybody.”

“Expect maybe Miss Davis?” Murdoc mocked.  “And please , Angus.  Can’t you see that I was just putting on a show for the ‘evil Zoom meeting’?”  He hadn’t been, and he could tell that MacGyver was seeing straight through his lie.  “Look,” Murdoc said, “I hate it when we fight.  How about we both take some time and pick this back up when we’ve had a little time to heal and reflect?”

Through gritted teeth, MacGyver growled, “How about you go away and never come back?”

“Tsk, tsk, Angus .  That isn’t any way to treat your rescuer.  But you are concussed, so I’ll let it slide.  Actually, I need to motor.  Now that the situation’s neutralized, the authorities will be all over this place.  I really don’t fancy going back to that blacksite, so I’ll leave you here to wait for your buddies.”  He bent down, patted MacGyver on the face, grinned when his adversary jerked his head away from the touch.  “‘Til next time, Mac .”  He made a face.  “Actually, scratch that.  My calling you Mac is almost as unsettling as Taylor calling Miss Davis Riles .”  He heard an indigent noise from over the comm – he’d almost forgotten Phoenix was listening in, they’d been so quiet.  He chuckled, relishing how fun Russ Taylor was to annoy.  “Anway, I’ll see you soon, Angus.”

Murdoc removed the comm and crushed it under his boot, then backed away and sauntered from the room, whistling his slow, eerie funeral dirge, “Home on the Range.”

He knew that even while injured and concussed, MacGyver would be out of the zipties and releasing his friends before the polícia arrived.  He’d then be whisked away to a hospital, and all of Phoenix would have to deal with the fallout of the secrets that had been revealed.  He wondered if MacGyver would choose Desiree or Riley.  In the end, though, he knew that it wouldn’t matter who MacGyver chose.  He could deny it all he wanted, but in the end, there would be Murdoc.

There would always be Murdoc.

[rochiomaru]

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY

The first time Sir Crocodile met the feather brained idiot was at a meeting of the warlords with the marines. The only reason the man had agreed to come to this meeting was because Donquixote was being inducted into the Shichibukai, and Crocodile felt it would be beneficial to know all he could about this person. So he sat amongst his peers trying hard not to roll his eyes at something Sengoku was rambling about when he had the distinct feeling of eyes upon him and his skin began to crawl.

 

Crocodile had spent years never trusting others and would quickly use his observation haki to unravel the motives of others to turn against them. However, as he scornfully turned his slate grey eyes to the blonde man sitting next to him, he found that he could not easily find a way behind the man’s defenses. Though he could not see the other’s eyes behind those gaudy sunglasses, he knew that the man was focusing attention on him and it unnerved him greatly.

 

It was not so much the fact that the other was staring, it was the raw lust that practically rolled from the other male. Now, Crocodile was not one to be afraid of attention from men, after all sex was something that he had enjoyed on occasion with either gender in the past. It was more the feeling that the other was staking a claim. It was as though he was the only other one in the room and was disregarding every other person. There was also the fact that this person was new to the Shichibukai and should not be so arrogant and confrontational. Everything about him was just…off. Crocodile did not like it at all.

 

He watched as a long, pointed tongue curled from between Doflamingo’s lips and ran wet, glistening trails before tucking back into his mouth. Suddenly, Crocodile felt even more self-conscious and he automatically began to run his fingers along the wrist of his missing hand until he felt the cool metal of his hook in a way he had not done in several years. He thought he had moved past his youthful insecurities behind his scars and the missing limb, yet somehow the way the other man was looking at him caused him to relapse into old, forgotten behaviors.

 

The blonde man’s lips curled into a condescending, almost cruel, smile and he cocked his head to the side as if he found something extremely amusing. This movement triggered Crocodile’s anger and the vein popped out on his temple as rage clouded his vision.

 

How dare that man think he could gain power over the smaller male! Crocodile was the leader of Baroque Works and the future king of Alabasta! This man should be groveling at his feet, not attempting to intimidate him. He swung his hook at the offending face and then spin to bring his hook back down on top of the blonde's head before storming out of the room. He could feel everyone staring in shock at his violent outburst, but really couldn't bring himself to care.

 

 

The other man’s laughter was not lost on Crocodile, though he refused to acknowledge it as he continued walking down the hall and towards the dock where his crew was waiting for him. This is the reason why he avoided being around others that were not either his subordinates or persons to manipulate to his will. He knew where it would lead. It was better to stay alone and above it all.

[dumb-hat]

Character Sheet - Evander Winsome

—————- Link to blank template!

Rules: Things in brackets are meant only as guidelines, to be erased and your answers written in place of. Things separated by | are for bolding and italicising.

Tagged by: No one! I saw this reblogged by @mooglemeet​, so I went ahead and grabbed it directly from @bluespiritfire​. Link to the blank template is up above! Tagging: No one specific/anyone who wants to. Feel free to tag me back so I can see it!

Name: Evander Winsome Age: 26 Pronouns: He/him Birthdate: 12th Sun of the 5th Umbral Moon

~~PLACE OF ORIGIN~~ Race: Hyur From the First: Interracial heritage:

Hometown/city: Limsa Lominsa Current residence/popular haunt:Ul’dah

~~APPEARANCE~~

Eyes: brown | blue | green | gold | red | purple | multicoloured | other (amber) Hair: brunette | black | blonde | red (ginger or crimson?) | grey/white (aged or natural?) | multicoloured | none | other (…) Hair type: straight | curly | ringlets | wavy | wiry | frizzy | voluminous | thin | other (unruly) Hair style: A shaggy mop deeply in need of a trim, permanent hat hair. (It’s Aymeric hair. I can’t imagine he’ll ever wear the outfit, but the hair was worth it!) Body type: beefy | curvaceous | fat | lean | muscular | petite | skinny | stocky | other (…) Height: short | tall | specific measurement (5′9) Skin: ashen | caucasian | dark | fair | freckled | olive | tanned | other Facial features: birthmark | beard (stubble) | face paint | fur | scales | scars | tattoos | other (…) Body features: birthmark | beard | ears (anything unique about them) | face paint | fur | missing limb/s | scales | scars | tail | tattoos | other (…)

Favourite/commonly used clothes:

~~SKILLS~~ DoL/DoH Botanist | Fisher | Miner | Alchemist | Armorer | Blacksmith | Carpenter | Culinarian | Goldsmith | Leatherworker | Weaver fun | profit | self-sustainability

~~COMBAT~~ Main discipline Gladiator/Paladin | Marauder/Warrior | Dark Knight | Gunbreaker | Astrologian | Conjurer/White Mage | Arcanist/Scholar/Summoner | Thaumaturge/Black Mage | Blue Mage | Red Mage | Pugilist/Monk | Lancer/Dragoon | Rogue/Ninja | Samurai | Archer/Bard | Machinist | Dancer

Secondary/Tertiary/Extra Classes Gladiator/Paladin | Marauder/Warrior | Dark Knight | Gunbreaker | Astrologian | Conjurer/White Mage | Arcanist/Scholar/Summoner | Thaumaturge/Black Mage | Blue Mage | Red Mage | Pugilist/Monk | Lancer/Dragoon | Rogue/Ninja | Samurai | Archer/Bard | Machinist | Dancer

Fighting style aggressive | cautious | hard-and-fast | tactical | defensive | protective | all out | wait-and-see | charge in headlong | reckless | self-sacrificing | party-oriented | loner |

Any difficulties with magical/physical disciplines? Nothing in particular

~~PERSONALITY TRAITS~~ abrasive | abusive | accepting | aggressive | analytical | anxious | arrogant | assertive | brave | bossy | calm | caring | cautious | cheerful | chronic liar | confident | controlling | cowardly | creative/inventive | cunning | curious | determined | disinterested | envious | fearless | frosty | frugal | generous | greedy | gullible | honest | humorous | impatient | impulsive | indifferent | insecure | intelligent | irresponsible | jealous | just | kind | loyal | lustful | manipulative | materialistic | meek | modest | money-driven | naïve | narcissistic | oblivious | overbearing | patient | passive | perceptive | possessive | prickly | quiet | relaxed | religious | sarcastic | secretive | self-assured | self-conscious | self-deprecating | selfish | selfless | spiritual | strict | stubborn | tired | thoughtful | unpredictable | virtuous | vocal | wary | wise | other

~~LIKES~~ Environment: forest | city streets | markets | the beach | open sea/on the water | mountains | jungle | battlefield | being at home | surrounded by books | other (…) Weather: wind | snow | rain | sunshine | storms | cloudy days Flavors: sweet | salty | sour | bitter | spicy | tart | gamey | spiced | fruity | nutty | leafy greens | other Textures: silk | velvet | cotton | metal | leather | water | spongy | dry granules (sand, sugar, etc) | other (…) Favorite Dish: Dzo steak & popotoes (small, seasoned and baked ones are best, but he won’t turn away mashed or fried) Favorite Color: Whites, browns, grays Favorite Sound: Soft, quiet breaths; glasses tinking together, machinery clicking into place Favorite Smell: Juniper, jasmine, iris; citrus and sandalwood, hard liquor Favorite Place: Anywhere he can find a good drink and great company Favorite Holiday: the Moonfire Faire Other: Evander likes free-spirited people, people who know how to relax, people who aren’t afraid to call him out on his shit, but also aren’t too eager to do so

~~DISLIKES~~ Environment: forest | city streets | markets | the beach | open sea/on the water | mountains | jungle | battlefield | being at home | surrounded by books | other (…) Weather: wind | snow | rain | sunshine | storms | cloudy days Flavors: sweet | salty | sour | bitter | spicy | tart | gamey | spiced | fruity | nutty | leafy greens | other Textures: silk | velvet | cotton | metal | leather | water | spongy | dry granules (sand, sugar, etc) | other (sticky) Least Favorite Dish: Emerald soup, lutefisk. In general, he shies away from things that are really bitter or cloyingly sweet. Least Favorite Color: Really, really, really bright greens, yellows and pinks. Think neon.  Least Favorite Sound: Pained screams, metal grinding against metal Least Favorite Smell: Blood, rot, vomit Least Favorite Place: Jail Least Favorite Holiday: Starlight Other: He has a general disdain for nobility, law enforcement and people who take everything too seriously.

~~HOBBIES~~ art (what medium/s?) | adventuring | cooking | fighting/sparring | finance | gardening | golden saucer attractions (Lord of Verminion, chocobo racing, Doman mahjong, triple triad) | hiking | hunting (game or hunt marks) | lacks hobbies | music | physical sports | reading (almost anything he can get his hands on, though he regards romance novels as a kind of quiet, not-quite-guilty pleasure) | running | scrapbooking | sewing/knitting/other needlework | sightseeing | socializing | swimming | training | writing | other (…)

~~RELATIONSHIPS~~ Parents/Legal Guardian/Parental Figure: mother | father | aunt and/or uncle | grandparents | adoptive | foster | mentor | family friend/godparents | other Siblings: One older brother; deceased Children: None that he knows of Romantic: single | unrequited | crushing | dating | engaged | married | divorced/separated | widow/widower | recently split | it’s complicated (I mean, not to him. To him, it makes total sense. Well, most of it does.) | other (…) Friends: Evander tends to befriend and trust people fairly easily, though it can take him a bit to really open up. Once you’ve hit that point, you’ve likely got a friend for life. Rivals/Enemies: To the best of his knowledge, he’s left these all behind somewhere or other, thanks largely to his restless need to wander. That said, there’s surely a few lurking in the past and there’s always room for more, of course!

Any special gestures of affection they have with people in their life? He’ll often make complaining noises about paying for drinks and dinner, but he’ll do it every time and would be slightly hurt if people didn’t let him.

~~HAVE DEALT WITH/IS DEALING WITH~~ abuse (ongoing or recovering, verbal or physical) | acceptance | a new relationship (unlikely friendship, step-sibling/parent, etc) | a new romance | betrayal | broken heart | budgeting | bullying | caution | confidence | crisis of faith | depression | grief | health issues | how to trust | learning from a mistake (as in “doesn’t enough) | loss | love | new people | new place | opening up to someone/others | parenthood | physical changes (loss of a limb or other sense, inability to do things previously able to) | politics | PTSD | poverty | racism | reconciling previously held beliefs | responsibility | sacrifice (self or of another) | self-acceptance | self-esteem | to value myself | to value others | trauma (medical, mental, emotional) | war | wealth | other (…)

How are they dealing with the most prominent of the above? How does it affect their in day-to-day life, if at all? Poorly, typically.

~~ODDS AND ENDS~~ Notable Weapons He doesn’t have any particular bond with any of his weapons, really. He sees them as tools, and ones that he uses only reluctantly. He sometimes enjoys tinkering with the ones he builds, but that’s more of a hobby than anything. 

Notable Mounts He has various vehicles and machines he likes to fuss over and drive around, but he’s particularly fond of his SDS Fenrir.

In addition to his chocobo—a particularly stubborn beast named Doreen—he’s also fond of his battlesheep, Doctor One and a colossal crab he’s dubbed St. Barnabus.

Notable Minion/s Besides Doctor One and St. Barnabas, Evander is especially fond of various clockworks, automata, wind-ups and models that he’s put together. His favorite is a drone modeled after a Magitek bit that he’s named Valencia.

Keepsakes/Mementos

A pendant in the shape of a swan, a few too many flasks

Chronic Illnesses or Disabilities Evander lives with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I’ve written about it a few places, most notably at length here and in brief here. How do they deal with these? Depends on the day, really. This isn’t really a thing he has a name for, so it’s not a thing he can easily address. He’s got a sloppily slapped together set coping mechanisms that work about half the time, if he’s lucky. Other than that, he mostly hopes for good days full of things he can convince himself he’s interested in.

Education Level He likes it when people underestimate him, so he’s not always quick to admit to the formal Ishgardian education afforded to him by the family that took him in when he left Limsa Lominsa. He’ll often try to pass it off as eclectic, self-driven studies... Which, admittedly, also played a big part in shaping him. 

Habits There’s a lot of excess in his life. He drinks too much. He eats too much. He stays up too late, too long, and then sleeps too late, too long. He’s almost always got a flask or four on his person, and he often finds that he’s picking up the dinner or drink tab wherever he goes. 

Other Nothing immediately springs to mind, but I’m sure there’s like a dozen things I should put here. This thing has been sitting in my drafts for god-knows-how-long, so I’m just glad to finally get it out there. 

[random-thought-depository]

The Star Trek TOS episode Space Seed was on TV Saturday; the episode with Khan (the genetically engineered “superman” Khan, not the guy who built Data Khan).

And a thought occurred to me. So, in the episode they comment on how Khan has “magnetism” and he’s portrayed as charismatic and seductive (both in the sexual/romantic sense and in the more general sense). Personally I didn’t really see the appeal, he seemed like basically just an unpleasant violent narcissist to me, but then I guess some people are into that; I guess he might appeal to the sort of person who really likes Donald Trump.

But I had a thought... OK, Khan is supposed to be a genetically engineered “superman,” created to be superior to ordinary humans; stronger, smarter, etc.. And a lot of physical attractiveness is features that indicate health and genetic fitness. So maybe Khan would look unnaturally handsome. Like, maybe he has super-symmetrical facial features and absolutely perfect skin and teeth and he moves with the speed and grace of a natural Olympic-level athlete and Julliard-level dancer and so on. He doesn’t look that way to me, but we can apply the logic fans have applied to Klingon foreheads and the rubber suit Gorn in TOS and assume what we see on the screen is an imperfect reflection of what Khan “really” looks like. Maybe a lot of Khan’s charisma is just halo effect from him being unnaturally handsome! He has such a big ego and is so proud of his own cleverness and “natural leader” personality traits, I think it’d be funny if a lot of his charisma is really something stupid like that and he’s smart and observant enough to realize it and deep down it bothers him a little!

Mmm, concept:

It does bother him. He uses it, of course. Charisma is a powerful tool and weapon; to refuse to use it out of petty pride would be foolish. And he really is charismatic in the ways he’s proud of being. He really is smart enough to figure out what makes people tick and use that knowledge to manipulate them. He really does have the drive, ambition, vision, and aggression of a natural conqueror, and people sense that and respond to it. He really does impress people with his intelligence and strength. It’s hard to untangle all this from the boost his charisma gets from his unnatural beauty, and to try is at best a matter of blue sky curiosity, at worst indulging one of his few gnawing goblins of self-doubt. Khan is smart enough to know what his charisma is, and pragmatic enough to use it to its full potential.

Still, deep down it bothers him to think that some of his charisma is something that stupid; to think that a difference of a few millimeters of bone and tissue here and there might have made him less successful. Khan relishes bending people to his will with his mind; knowing that something as stupid as “deep down that person wants to please me because I’m beautiful and it feels good to be liked by a beautiful person” is part of the “recipe” taints his triumph, makes him doubt himself. It’s one of the few sources of self-doubt Khan has.

Not everyone responds to Khan’s unnatural handsomeness the same way. A significant minority are actively repulsed by it; they find him too handsome, too perfect; they find it uncanny valley-ish, creepy. And some people just don’t seem to notice physical attractiveness much, or just don’t seem moved by it. And sometimes people are uncomfortable with the feelings Khan’s unnatural handsomeness creates in them and this makes them hostile to him; that happens especially often with men. Khan relishes dealing with people who don’t respond positively to his beauty, manipulating them, bending their minds and hearts to his will. With them he knows it’s a true match of wits and personality; with them his victory is pure.

On a certain level, deep down, Khan envies people like Adolf Hitler, who were charismatic but physically unattractive. They could be secure in the knowledge that their power came from the strength of their minds. When he was younger he once half-seriously considered mutilating his face or getting plastic surgery to make himself uglier, just to make manipulating people more of a challenge, but that was a foolish idea, and he no longer entertains it with any seriousness.

His fellow “superiors” have the same unnatural beauty, and he sometimes wonders if they have the same feelings about it. He’s discussed the matter with a few who he’s closest to, but it’s not something he talks about much.

He tells himself that people responding to his beauty are just responding to his natural fitness to lead in a roundabout way. He asks himself rhetorically why people desire to please and serve beautiful people, and he answers his own question thus: partly because beauty is correlated with health and genetic fitness, and therefore with intelligence and sanity! This leadership-selection strategy is not conscious, but natural selection has carved it into human behavior at the genetic level. This makes him feel a little better, but still... He knows well how sloppy such intuitive heuristics are, and the idea of owing some of his success to something so loosely connected to the strength of his mind bothers him a little. It bothers him, mildly and secretly but persistently, like a cigarette burn under his shirt.

Sometimes Khan wonders if some beautiful women, Marilyn Monroe for example, felt something like the way he feels. To consider this thought gives him a strange feeling; it makes him feel an empathy based on shared suffering of a sort, and he’s not used to empathizing with normal humans that way.

Khan is good at empathizing with people in the sense of cognitive empathy, of knowing how they think, of course. It’s an important part of his charisma; to manipulate people it really helps to understand them. Some conversation with a normal and observation of them and he can often predict their reactions better than they can. But the sort of empathy that comes from shared suffering ... he’s not used to feeling that toward normals. He’s really not used to feeling it toward anybody, because he’s experienced very little suffering. There was the suffering of defeat at the end of the Eugenics Wars, of course, and ... that was about it. He grew up pampered and privileged, surrounded by his creators, who treated him like a prince and told him he was special, better than most people, the next step in human evolution. He had tremendous power and privilege for most of his life. His perfect body has only ever known two kinds of pain, injury-pain (rarely) and exhaustion-pain (mostly only mildly); he has never felt a headache or a back-ache or anything like that, he has never been sick. Even the suffering of defeat was mostly an abstract intellectual and emotional pain; only at the very end was he in any sort of direct physical danger. He has been in battle, he fought hand-to-hand during the coup that first brought him to power and during the chaotic last days before he fled from Earth, he has directly killed people in combat ... but that was more exhilarating and fun to him than anything else; his creators gave him the temperament of a brave warrior.

Once, early in his rise to power, Khan tortured a prisoner by burning them with a lit cigarette. How the weak little thing squirmed and squealed! Afterwards, he tried burning his own arm with a lit cigarette, just to see what it felt like. The pain didn’t seem so bad to him, but then his creators made him resilient enough that he doesn’t need to coddle every little injury, and they adjusted his nervous system suitably, gave him a high pain threshold.

Sometimes Khan does experience a pang of sad visceral empathy toward the unfortunate. He imagines what it would be like to be one of the wretched of the Earth: poor, slow, stupid, weak, sickly, ugly, awkward, wracked by physical and emotional pain, tormented by hunger, thirst, heat, cold, chronic pain, sadness, anxiety, fear, loneliness, impotent anger, shame, sexual frustration, battered about like a leaf in a storm by forces they can’t understand and can’t effect, used and tricked and abused by people smarter or stronger or just higher-status. That ... that must be awful. In his own arrogant, condescending way he really does want to help the normals. He really does want to fill full the mouth of famine, and bid the sickness cease. He intended to make the world orderly and peaceful, and to make sure everyone had the food, shelter, clothing, medicine, etc. they needed and lived in what he considered reasonable comfort and dignity. He created as close an approximation as he could of those conditions within the domains he controlled. They say he was the best of the tyrants.

He’s a convinced elitist, but it would only have been temporary. If he’d won, within a few generations everyone would have been a superior, like him. With time the process that created him could have been made cheaper, made available to everyone who wanted to make a child; if he’d won he’d have made that a great civilizational project, as important as the fusion reactors he saw providing endless cheap energy by burning the deuterium of the oceans and the great vaccination and infrastructure-building campaigns he intended to launch in Africa and Asia and Latin America and the asteroid mining and the... No more need for an elite of superiors when everyone is a superior. And no more arthritis, or depression, or ... so many bad things would have disappeared into the history books when the last generation of normals expired peacefully of old age (joining war and poverty, which he intended to banish into the past much sooner). And in the mean time he’d have seen to it that the last generations of normals lived in as much comfort and dignity as their flawed bodies and limited minds permitted.

And that would have only been the beginning! He looked forward beyond that, to future generations that would be as far beyond him as he was beyond the normals - further! He looked forward to a future of - who knew, immortals seemed like the next obvious step. And after that perhaps god-like immortal minds freed from the limitations of flesh, building for themselves vast magnificent new bodies of silicon and steel in which they would outlive the stars. He probably wouldn’t have seen it, as perfect as his body is it still ages. He wouldn’t even have outlived the last normals. Like Moses, he would have led his people to the border of the promised land but died outside its gates, it would have been to his successor or his successor’s successor to lead them through into the land of milk and honey and dwell there with them. But, perhaps, huddled around one of the last black holes at the end of the time, sipping Hawking radiation to power slow thoughts that took a thousand years to think, there would have been beings that remembered him, that saw his face and touched his hand in the staggeringly distant era when they were still human and had chosen to keep the memory of that as the stars burned out and all through the long bright joyous festival in the cold of the ultimate night. That concept pleased him.

It was not to be. Well, he doesn’t blame the normals too much for rejecting him. The way he figures it, most of them just weren’t smart enough to understand what he was offering, and getting angry at them for that is like getting angry at a non-verbal autistic for being unable to speak.

Once, when he was a child, he was walking alone through the expansive beautiful pleasant garden of his creators’ compound, in the pleasant cool of evening after a hot Indian day, and he found a bird with an injured wing. He supposes Dr. Hibbert’s cat must have mauled it and then gotten distracted by something and wandered off. One of its wings was bloody and wounded and broken and twisted, dragged against the ground as it walked. When he walked toward it, it walked away from him as fast as its little legs could carry it, and then it tried pathetically to fly, flapping its wings furiously and impotently. The sight of it filled him with a queasy mix of revulsion and pity. His first impulse was to run away from it, and his second impulse was to seize a stone and put it out of its misery, but his third impulse, the one he chose to obey, was to capture it and try to fix its wing and tend to it and feed it until it healed. It tried to escape from him as he tried to capture it, and it struggled furiously as he seized and held it, beating its wings furiously and scratching at the air and his hand with its claws. The panicked, vital thing in his hands revolted him, and its claws scratched his fingers and drew blood, but he forced himself to be as gentle with it as he could, to bring it inside and clean and apply antibiotic to its wound and reset and bandage its wing as it tried to escape his grip. He knew it was only natural that it would fight him and try to escape from him; it couldn’t understand that he was trying to help it; its brain couldn’t be much bigger than a peanut, far too small to contain the knowledge of what he was trying to do for it, too small to contain anything but that which was immediately relevant to its wretched and limited life, the search for food and the avoidance of and flight from predators and the building and tending of a nest and mating and laying and tending of eggs and tending of any young that might hatch from them. If it thought at all about what was happening to it, it probably thought he was trying to eat it, or more likely its struggles were simply instinctive, and the process of setting the wing and cleaning and bandaging the wound must have caused it pain. He set its wing and cleaned and bandaged its wound despite its efforts to escape him, and then he put it in a cage Dr. Pretorius gave him and he fed and tended it until its wing was healed, and then he took it into the garden and let it fly away, to continue its wretched and limited and meaningless life in the wild. Perhaps it lived to its kind’s version of old age (perhaps 15 years, he looked it up, and he has an almost eidetic memory) and knew a few moments of something like joy now and then, or perhaps it was eaten by a cat the next day.

When he thinks of the defeat that forced him to flee from Earth, deep into the dark, he thinks of that bird scratching his fingers as he tried to help it.

They say he was the best of the tyrants.

He killed more people than Hitler and Stalin.

------

Note: this is a model for, like, approximately Space Seed period Khan; Wrath of Khan period Khan has known real suffering intimately and would be a lot more bitter. Negative character development lol. Especially as the whole “we couldn’t tell two completely different planets apart” thing in Wrath of Khan is so absurd that I kind of headcanon that would actually happened is that Khan wanted revenge for his wife’s death, decided he’d rather be the ruler of a populous world than the leader of a 72 person village, tried to MacGyver up a small starship to reach a civilized world, ended up crashing on the much less habitable next planet out in that solar system, and in true Hitler/Trump-like fashion blamed somebody else (Kirk) for the consequences of his own overreach and disastrous failure.

[ibringyouasong89]

Self-Awareness Time, Part One:

So I’m reading this article one day, (see article here: https://psych2go.net/6-signs-youll-be-single-forever/), and realize how some of this is true, but also some of it is bullshit. Spoiler Alert: I haven’t had a boyfriend since I was 18.  Is it because I haven’t wanted to be with someone, or be in a relationship, since that one ended? Quite the contrary, actually. I have dreamed, since I was a small child, of a perfect soulmate for me, and that it would be a Disney-movie-ending come true for the rest of my life. Having my first (and since then, only) boyfriend break up with me (so he could go out with my ex-best friend, who in turn, dumped her boyfriend of three years - who was my childhood friend from elementary school - in order to be with him; it was dramatic, stupid, and messy, i.e. we were teenagers who thought they knew themselves but didn’t have a clue) did not, in fact, deter those dreams at all. The problem is that I didn’t learn to love myself. I learned to move on, which is always wonderful, but I didn’t hold myself in any higher esteem than I had before, and while I was with him. It wasn’t a reflection on being with him, but more or less, a reflection of myself and how I saw myself, based on my childhood and certain experiences. Fast forward a couple of years later: my parents are divorced, my father is dead, my childhood friends have disappeared out of my life for the most part, I live with my mother and grandfather (who was close to dying himself), and I am now living in a different state, faraway from everything I know and love and hate everything about this new place. I hated (and still do, for many of these points) the polluted environment, I hated the lack of nature (I moved to a metropolitan-region within the realm of a major city), I hated how crowded it is, I hated how everyone lives on top of one another; I hate the noise, the traffic, and most of all, I hated how alien and out of place I feel. I knew I didn’t belong, but because of finances, and having an ineffective bachelor’s degree (that didn’t come with a lifetime guarantee of having a career, as promised by my parents and elder generations. Though it did come with the nice guarantee of student loans), I was unable to move anywhere else. I was unable to be independent, financially or otherwise, and could do nothing to make my dreams a reality or to improve my life. In short, I was stuck. And hating every minute of it, along with myself. To be fair, I wasn’t an emotionally healthy person to start off with - but I mean, who is by the time they’re 23, 24 years old, and a culminating reflection of time, pressure, past abuse, parental issues, trust issues, abandonment issues, lack of socializing/being ostracized for being different, and self-worth and self-love issues? No one, and I mean, NO ONE, is taught how to love themselves, completely, as a child. I don’t care who raised you or where you grew up. This is a fundamental truth and fact. But I met someone. Lo and behold, there came this divine gift, one day, of someone who was just like me! He didn’t have the same issues as I, but he understood in a general sense (as any individual who has a certain degree of sympathy and empathy can do), and made me feel seen (even if I hated it at times). Someone who, in all honesty, has fundamentally changed me forever. And to think I met him at my job! (i.e. retail). This person...well, I thought he might’ve been THE ONE. I was really, REALLY in love with him. More so than I ever thought I could be with someone.  Our connection was real and based on emotional, mental, and spiritual intimacy (there was none of the physical, which was probably for the best, in the end), and I had never loved anybody before, in the entire history of being connected to family and friends, the way I had loved him. I thought he was truly something special - a gift from the universe that not only allowed to experience this once-in-a-lifetime kind of love, but also because of how OBVIOUS it was that we were meant for each other. (I was so arrogant back then and admit it heartily now). Well, suffice to say, it didn’t end in rainbows-and-sunshine-for-years-to-come. He had already been entering a relationship when I met him, while also having his heart broken by another girl. As the saying goes: wrong place and time. While I was busy pining over him and fantasizing about us being together romantically (after building this incredible connection and deep friendship), he was happily living his life and enjoying his relationship...even though, for a time, he went out of his way to spend time with me and deepen our emotional intimacy further. He told me things about himself, and his life, that he swore he had never told another human being before in his life. But it all came to a grinding halt one day - out of the blue - when he severed our connection with all of the swiftness and severity of a well-placed swing from a sharpened blade. Later he would confess that it wasn’t intentional - it was because he was busy cutting other people out of his life and I got caught up in the “crossfires” of it all via social media and the like *insert eyeroll here* - but that he had also been conscious of my burgeoning feelings for him, and felt “flattered” that I had come to regard him so greatly. He promised to re-open the lines of communication between us again and to be a better friend. Spoiler Alert Part Two: None of these promises were fulfilled. Now, some of you (or whoever reads this long-ass personal post) might say “Well, maybe in knowing about your feelings, THAT was why he didn’t bother talking to you anymore. It made him uncomfortable, especially since he was in a relationship with someone else. He just wanted to make a clean break.” To be completely honest, I was aware of that possibility from the get-go. The problem is that he claimed (during this period of seeking me out and spending quality time with me) his relationship with his girlfriend was “casual.” That he was more than aware that he was her first boyfriend, but that he knew it wouldn’t last. In knowing that, he still pursued a relationship with that girl (though his self-prophecy did come to pass...three years later). Now, there were never any promises made about entering a relationship with ME, as some of you may point out as well. I agree. There are, and never will be, any guarantees when it comes to the heart. Someone who learns to love another is quite capable of also learning how to un-love that same individual, at any time. And hatred, as many know, is not the opposite of love; apathy is its true counterpart.

No, what was truly hurtful was that he knew that truth, honesty, compassion, consideration, and genuineness were core values of mine. Values that I thought he shared...but turned out to be lies when he revealed his regard, or lack-there-of, for me in the end. When he did not confront me over my feelings for him and instead played ignorant for the sake of his own happiness. When he promised that this did not interfere with his ability to be my friend, even after confessing said romantic intentions to him, and probably lying about it all the same. He knew of my past, my issues, and had probably guessed at my level of loneliness and knew about my lack of friends since moving away from my hometown...and didn’t think twice of ditching me, nor of how his sudden “ignorance” about our bond would effect my feelings. That being “one of the guys” was my true status - despite the fact that I have breasts, a vagina, lack a penis, and had never acted in a “masculine way” around him (aside from being intelligent, having common sense, being interested in comic books, music, and movies, having a deep appreciation for classic muscle cars, and a biting sense of sarcasm); i.e. no hanging out in bars with him and his male friends, no doing stupid shit for giggles, no running around in the middle of the night to each other’s houses to smoke pot and drink in the basement, not being into sports and wrestling, recalling the same stupid stories from high school and retelling them, over and over again, along with the same stupid jokes, etc...And I’m not judging any female (or person) who does DO this, or enjoy these things! I’m just simply describing how he, and his friends, acted and what their similar interests are. I was “friend-zoned” (which is a ridiculous phrase, but I can’t think of anything else to describe it as), but was NOT treated like a friend any longer. I was treated like a stranger or an acquaintance that you remember vaguely seeing in the hallways and cafeteria when you attend your high school reunion (that guy who makes you go “Oh, *Insert Name Here*! Omg! How are you?! Wow, it’s been a while! Great to see you lost all that weight! So uh...how’s things?”). In short: I was being gas-lit. For anyone who has experienced this, you have my deepest sympathies and my ear and shoulder, whenever you would like. Of course part of the blame falls on me too: for treating romantic love like a drug I couldn’t live without, for depending on someone too much for my happiness, and for allowing myself to be treated as someone who is less than worthy of real love, respect, consideration, kindness, compassion, and honest, open communication.

So, not only did this guy break my heart, but he also threw me, and our friendship, away like it all meant nothing. It became obvious then that I, and our bond, had never mattered to him at all.  The worst part is that he continued to flirt with me, stringing me along (unknowingly or not), while also maintaining this enforced distance! (Which is also COMPLETELY WRONG TO DO TO ANYONE!) In truth, I think he’s an unaware narcissist who doesn’t realize, on an unconscious level, how manipulative he can really be. It’s sad. But I know, without wishing for it or egging the universe on, that there is a lesson waiting for him in the wings of the cosmos that will enable him to truly understand the lows, and highs, of true personal awareness (if it should come to pass - anything is possible, in any way, shape, or form). But back to the point: In conclusion, my soul was shattered. My heart was a destroyed. I fell into a depression based, not only on this heartbreak, but also my heart being broken by ME. I was so unhappy with everything going on, and not, in my life and it all felt so hopeless and pointless. I could see no path forward, no future for myself, that didn’t result either in me being unhappy or being unstuck. (Hell, even writing about all of this is allowing the phantom pains to rise from their graves in my heart, which makes me realize how much healing, and self-love, I still have to gain). This, however, was the beginning of my awakening for me.

It dawned on me like the rising sun within me that I really SHOULDN’T put stock into having people depended upon so much to MAKE me happy. I should be making MYSELF happy. But then the deepest question, out of the pit of darkness within my soul, arose: Why WASN’T I happy with myself?

[tangleweave]

HC Questions for Stephen - 1, 8, 11, 12, 20, 23, 28

What is your muse’s love language / how do they show affection?

Stephen has been known to show affection by buying gifts for his paramour, but this has a subtle ring of manipulation to it when he offers The One Thing She Always Wanted right in the moment of a heated argument. For his more genuine love language, he goes for gentle touches. He's still self-conscious about letting people see his hands so anyone he touches when they're bare is someone very important to him.

Does your muse like to dance? Would they dance with another?

Stephen knows how to ballroom dance, an article of education from a slightly stuffier upbringing. If, as per the above, he has someone to whom he's comfortable showing his hands, he'd be happy to take them dancing.

What pet names would your muse give to others?

When he's feeling whimsical, he likes to try to tag people with the names of musical artists he enjoys (see Wong = Beyoncé). If he's feeling amorous, then he'll go for usually appearance-based ones (lovely, beautiful, gorgeous). He also keeps an ear out for context clues -- if a partner calls him a gender-neutral pet name (honey/hun, baby/babe), he may return it; for all he knows, they want to be called what they're calling him.

What pet names would your muse want to be called?

Oh dear, this question. Stephen doesn't actually like most pet names used on him because most of them feel vapid or condescending. (Yes, he's aware of the flaky double-standard, and being the arrogant ass he is, he doesn't feel like apologizing for it.) But he'll accept being called "handsome." And if someone is feeling playful, he does actually like being called "Doctor."

What does your muse love about themself?

A lot of things, truth be told. Stephen loves being relentlessly driven. He loves his photographic memory. He loves his restless spirit. He loved the career he had and his gift for saving lives through seemingly miraculous feats with his feather-light, rock-steady touch -- and he loved having that, too. But more than those things, now, he loves his own proficiency with magic and his capacity to explore realms most people can scarcely imagine.

How is your muse with children?

Interacting with them has always been an exceedingly rare thing. In his past career, when faced with a child, it was usually unconscious on a gurney, followed by a 5-minute consultation in recovery. Token words of gratitude, an offering of a sympathetic smile, not much more. In his capacity as Sorcerer Supreme, he'll sometimes meet children in the context of having been possessed or tormented by some malign force, such as Dormammu or Nightmare. It's always because of his job that he meets kids... he doesn't ever really take the time to interact as just a normal person. He can be comforting as the occasion calls, but he's never spent an extended amount of time with kids.

Does your muse want to have children, would they make a good parent?

This is rather a terrifying pair of questions for Stephen. He has no active desire for children of his own; it's a level of sincere responsibility he knows he'll never be truly ready for (though how one ever is, nobody knows). That said, he's toyed with the idea once or twice, even as scary as it is. If he were to have them, he'd want to be sure it was with the right person, preferably one of magical means and a firm grounding.

Whether he'd be a good parent is something else again. His own parents were not particularly loving, preferring to focus more on ensuring their children were successful in career and financial stability than ensuring they felt the warm fuzzies. He constantly fears that he himself would be less loving than a parent should be, as his own parents were to him, because as much as he hated it, that's the example he was shown.