#he knows Lilith doesn’t want Lucifer and Charlie together and that’s why he tried to split them up in ep 5 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thisonesock · 7 months

Text

Drowning in Shadows

Here is the promised One-Shot. I have to mention once again that a certain part of the dialog is not mine, but comes from a game. More on that at the end. Until then, have fun and hunting season is open for grammar or spelling mistakes. (This is the first time I'm writing in English, so show mercy)

Lucifer was miserable, to put it mildly.

He felt like he was in an endless loop, spiraling deeper and deeper into something, that felt like a never-ending void. Like a black, silky goo, that wrapped itself around his mind and soul, if he even had one left. It shifted his sight and the way he saw the world around him. What once was a bright world full of color, life and opportunities was now nothing more than a greyish, cold place, that wasn’t worth getting up for.

Could anyone blame him, that he rather chooses to lock himself away? That he tried to find something, that might light his heart again? Even if its just a spark, it would be more than enough. He knew, he could do it. He just doesn’t know how long he could still hold on to that fleeting thought.

If he wouldn’t have his family… Lucifer doubted, that he would be still here. The urge, to just end all of this sometimes became so strong and irresistible, that he often wonders, how he overcame it. And it wasn’t that he particularly wanted to die. He just wished the pain, the loathing, the fear to end. He wanted to breath. He wanted to live. He didn’t want to fight with the thoughts in his mind. He wanted to see the world, the way he saw it once. He wanted to be full of passion again, full of cheer and jumping into a day, full of energy, like he had done it so often.

Sometimes he can do that. Sometimes its easier to get out of bed. On some days he was able to prep his wife’s cheeks with endless kisses and twirl his little girl in his arms, just listening to her happy laughing. How he adored it, when she smiled, how he loved it, when his wife watched him lovingly…

The more it hurt, that in the last weeks – months – it had become less and less.

Charlie didn’t know it better. She didn’t understand what was wrong with her daddy. That was main reason why he put on a brave face and smiled at her, when he wanted to cry and curse the whole world to hell, before remembering, that he was in that place anyway.

But Lilith. Lilith did know what was wrong with him. And it hurt.

It just fucking hurt to the point, that it became numb and turned to a part of that endless void. He couldn’t even blame his wife. Who wouldn’t be disgusted with the person, that was just a mere shadow of himself? He wasn’t the man, that she fell in love with once. He wasn’t the beautiful angel, that promised to show her all the horizons, that they wanted to explore. Instead, he became a demonic beast, cast away from its home, deep into the darkest pits of the world for something so meager like free will. For the opportunity to show humanity more, than the limits of their view. And he had dragged her with him. Away from the light. Away from the warmth and comfort of Edens lap. Sure, she won’t have to deal with that bastard Adam… but Lucifer doubted that this was the alternative that she had hoped for.

And that she showed him. Less and less became the affection, that she showed him. Less and less became the moments, where they talked and shared time together. If it wouldn’t be for their royal duties, they wouldn’t probably meet at all. The Public hadn’t noticed yet, but how long would that take? Maybe a month? If even?

But the worst part was, that his dear wife took Charlie with her. Lucifer had understood her first explanations, why she held their daughter away from him.

“I don’t want her to see you like this, my love.”, Lilith had whispered. “You understand that right?”

It had hurt. The words, even said gently and full of care, right in his face. But still he just had answered: “Yes. Tell her that I will make her a new special toy, yes? As an apology?”

That apology – much to his dismay – never happened. Not only because he barely saw his child, but also because no matter how hard he tried… nothing seemed perfect enough. He wanted to build Charlie a Music Box in form of a carousel, but it wasn’t good enough.

He wasn’t good enough. And that thought – that fact – breaks him. Because he knew, he can do it. He knew, he was able to. He had done it so many times before, creating the most beautiful dreams out of thin air and know? He could spend as much time as he wanted. He could polish every detail as long as he wanted. It wasn’t enough. Every time the product was nothing but a dull, gray and empty attempt to gain something, that he had lost a long, long time ago.

So, he could do nothing, but sitting miserably in his workshop, starring at the many attempts and the many sketches he had done, just to throw them away in fits of rage and despair. How often had he pulled at his hair, in hope the pain would numb the pain inside him? How often had he thrown the started project into a corner, because a screw wasn’t at the place he wanted, just to pick it up again and feeling sorry, for destroying the progress he had made?

Lucifer didn’t know, how long he sat there, staring at the failed music box, until he heard a sound. A small clicking and the groan of the heavy door opening behind him. He could smell the sweet scent of roses and lavender and could hear her featherlight steps.

“Charlie had asked, why you didn’t say Goodnight to her?” Her calm voice disrupted the thick silence in the room and Lucifer turned around, to meet her cool and distant eyes. Her dark violet dress felt perfect over her curves and for a moment he felt awful for his appearance. His shirt was wrinkled, his hair spread in all directions, and he didn’t even want to know how deep the bags under his eyes were. The angel’s eyes widened in surprise as he glanced on the small clock on his desk. Past 9. Charlie slept for already one hour.

“Shit.”, he mumbled, running his hand through his hair. “Sorry. I didn’t realize how late it is. I guess, I won’t be able to say it now, right?”, he said with an uncomfortable chuckle.

“No, I guess you don’t.”, Lilith said, her eyes watching him carefully. “When exactly do you think to spend time with your child? Or do you plan to stay in here for the rest of eternity?”

“Excuse me?” – “You know what I am talking about.”

Lucifer felt his mouth open and closing, while he blinked in utter surprise. Lilith’s voice had changed quickly from distant cold to held back anger. He wasn’t a fool. He could see that she was pissed at him and for the first time, he was able to feel something, besides the Numbness inside him. He was doing this for Charlie, right? He sat in here, because he wanted to make her the perfect gift.

“I do this for Charlie!”, he argued back, shifting aside to present her the music box, that he builds, but Lilith, much to his dismay, just shook her head. The long blond strains of her hair fell into her face, her arms crossed in front of her.

Still on the other side of the room, it felt like something held them apart. Like an invisible wall, that parted the room and them. Lucifer wondered if Lilith felt the same.

“I’m not talking about this, Lucifer.”, she finally said, her voice thick. “I’m talking about, that Charlie grows up without you. When was the last time, that you came out and talked to her? Played with her? Do you even know what she had learned the past days? Oh, what am I talking about? Months? While you hid away?”

Not willing to see her glaring and yet painfilled eyes, Lucifer turned his back to her, crumbling over his desk, while he stared at the little carousel in front of him. He felt anger, rising in him, but it was nothing compared to the harsh pain, that came with her words. The problem was that Lilith was right. He didn’t know how much Charlie had learned and done the past… time. But wasn’t it Lilith, that had suggested to keep the girl away from his misery to shield her? How could he have known that this void lasted so long?

“Are you going to answer me?”, she pursuit further, causing him to shrug helpless with his shoulders. “What do you want me to do?”

“Getting out!”

He could clearly hear the despair in her voice, yet she didn’t cross the room and he didn’t turn.

“Getting out of this cocoon that you have created around yourself to keep everyone out, Lucifer. Do you know how much it hurts to see you like this? This…”, she failed to find the right words and he could hear her seeking for breath. He could her the thickness in her normally beautiful voice and he only could imagine how far she was from crying. Still, he couldn’t feel anything. He wanted to feel something. Why couldn’t he feel? Why couldn’t he cry? Why couldn’t he tell her, how he felt?

“Like what?”, he asked instead, lacking any emotion.

Lilith was silent for a moment, before he could hear her crossing the room and turning him around on his chair.

“Is this funny to you?” – “Can’t you see me laughing? Hardy har!”

“You are unbelievable. Do you even care about the people around you?”, she snapped back and that, finally, let him feel something. Anger. Pure anger, that had built itself up over the past weeks, no, months.

“I do care about you!”, the angel shouted, jumping up from his chair, to face Lilith. He could feel his horns growing and his tail appearing. “How can you even dare to suggest something else, Lilith?! I love Charlie and you. You know that!”

“Then why don’t you show it? Why wont you talk? Why do you lock yourself away from us? Tell me!”

Lucifer shut his eyes, clawed his palms in his hair, while he crossed the room to get space. He tight feeling around his heart grow smaller and smaller. Like a snake, that dared to choke him, and Lucifer didn’t know, what he could do to stop it. To give himself some sort of Relief instead letting everything out, that he kept hidden for so long. “Because it was your fucking idea!”

“My idea?!”, Lilith gasped in utter shock. “My idea?!”, she echoed him again, before puffing in disbelief. “I have never told you to isolate yourself from everything.”

“You said that it would be better to keep Charlie away.” – “Yes, so she can have a relative normal life, Lucifer!”

“Well, big surprise, she won’t!”, he shouted suddenly, before continuing his raging thoughts. “And you know why? Because she is in fucking hell! I don’t know what makes you think that any of this is good. But let me tell you something, it isn’t! It’s a big pile of shit, a hole full of the waste and garbage of this world. If something of this makes you see anything good in it, please tell me, because I can’t fucking see it.”

“Why are you angry at me now? I did nothing to hurt you.”, she defended. “I was always at your side and supported you. And know, when I come to pry you out of this miserable hole that you have created yourself, you attack my like Im your enemy.” Tears shimmered in her eyes and Lucifer felt a pang in his chest. He didn’t want to make her cry. He didn’t want to do anything. He wanted to lie down and sleep. To never get up again. He wanted to dream again.

“Is it that, what I am to you? Your enemy?”, she now asked choking.

“No. I just…”, he attempted an explanation, but failed. Hopeless he lifted his hands but let them fall to his sides again. “… just what? Lucifer, please tell me. Talk to me! What is wrong?”

“I don’t know…. I just…”, a new wave of anger overcame him and gave his shattering voice more power. “I hate it. All of this! This shithole that you call a home, this whole situation. Just everything.”. Again, he walked past her, slamming his hands down on his desk and digging his claws deep into the wood.

“Good!”, she now said, nearly mockingly. “At least you can still feel something!”

He could feel her eyes in his back.

“Do you know what I feel, Lucifer? I look at you and I feel nothing. Not the man, that I fell in Love with. Not the father of my child.”, she scoffed. “Not even the hateful monster that you pretend to be. You’re just empty. And that scares the hell out of me.”

He could hear her turn, walking away from him and in a last attempt to have the last word and maybe, just maybe, get the answer, that he was sure he had for him, he said: “Didn’t you forget to mention you much you hate me? How you loath me, for dragging you down here?”

He heard Lilith stopping and turning, just for him, to turn to her, his eyes full of pain and despair to get an answer, that he didn’t want to her, but needed to her, just to justify his fears. “Go on! Admit it! You are disgusted with me, aren’t you? The fallen angel? The demonic monster, that has nothing to do with the beautiful being that you met so long ago.”

“Not this again.” Lilith look dry at him, tears running over her pale cheeks. “But if you need to hear it so badly, I will fulfill your wish, my love. I am disgusted with you.”

Lucifer, even though he knew, that the answer would crash him, felt his heart shatter. For a moment he even thought he could cry, but his eyes stayed dry. Something, that just fed his inner void and despair. He let his chin sink to his chest, just listening to his own breathing and his heart beating.

“But it has nothing to do with the way you look or that I am here with you.”, she continued. “I am disgusted with what you have. And I am disgusted with what you let it do to you. How you just let it change you.”

Her words echoed in his mind. He could hear her sniffling while she watched him, maybe hoping for a response. But he just couldn’t. Without another word, Lilith turned and left his workshop, closing the door behind her and leaving him alone.

The Void grew bigger.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

I hope you had fun and now to the Inspiration to it. The game, that i mentioned is called Layers of Fear, which is in my opinion a great psychological horror game. The particular dialog is from the DLC Inheritance, so all credits for that go to the Bloober Team, who created the game. The Original Dialog will follow after my little monolouge. I will also crosspublish the Story on Ao3. If you really want the full experience of this story, read it with that song: https://youtu.be/om-keDOy5cU?list=PL4fFy6wYdYt90D7sotlvTvu07-f_aiiMY

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"I hate you."

"Good! At least you can still feel something. I look at you and I see nothing. Not the beautiful girl I fell in Love with. Not the mother of my child. Not even the hateful monster that you pretend to be. You’re just empty. I look at you and I feel nothing. And that scares the hell out of me."

"You forgot to say how hideous I am. Go on. I know you want to!"

"God, not that again!"

"I know you’re disgusted with me, admit it!"

"Right, I am disgusted with you! But it has nothing to do with the way you look. I am disgusted with what you let it do to you. How you let it change you."

#hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lilith #oneshot #fanfic #depression #layers of fear inheritance #layers of fear #really a great game #give it a shot!#im sad now #and i can only blame myself

7 notes · View notes

isuckatwritingsobenice · 3 years

Text

alastor x s/o who’s like Cruella De vil

( based off the most recent Cruella movie )

first off, your personalities go great together because your both just as crazy as each other

this leads to so much chaos around the hotel, now due to this i’m gonna say s/o is an overlord like Alastor, which has Vaggie off the damn rails

so while you and Alastor are out causing Chaos, Vaggies wondering how to deal with it since most people know that you both are ‘helping’ with Charlie’s project

Angel Dust isn’t sure to love you or fear you, there’s a little bit of both, but overall he’s one of your closest friends at the hotel

Charlie doesn’t mind you helping out at the hotel, however she does mind your harsh criticism with the decoration of everything, and it doesn’t help that Nifty seems to agree with your ideas

Lucifer and Lilith have only gone to the hotel once, and during that time Lucifer seemed to find some sort of stability with you being there

don’t tell anyone but your his favorite overload

Lilith thinks your ideas for the hotel are good ones, and probably tries talking to Charlie into actually letting you change the place

Vaggie is bothered by literally anything you and Alastor do

like if either of you breath in the same room as her, she will literally hold a blade to your face

now, Alastor loves you, he adores you, your probably the only thing he can openly adore and not feel sorry or embarrassed about it and this is mainly because, your both insanely similar

now i know cruella doesn’t actually kill anyone, at least not in her movie, but if you were a killer, he’d probably love you even more if that’s possible

charlie can obviously see how much Alastor loves you, however it’s a lot harder for her to see how you feel about him, mainly because of how you speak about those types of things.

example one; one time Charlie over heard you telling someone at the hotel, “ My only true love, darling. I live for furs. I worship furs! After all, is there a woman in all this wretched world who doesn't?”

Charlie isn’t sure if she should take that literally or figuratively.. but nevertheless she makes it her second life mission to help you and Alastor get together

She tries to talk to you more, about romance and what you look for in a person

“ So uh, Y/n, have you ever like, had a romantic partner?”

“ why are you asking?”

“ oh you know, im just, curious.”

“… sure let’s go with that.”

“ so your seriously not gonna tell me? “

“ if you tell me why you want to know so bad then i’ll tell you.”

“ alright… fine, what if i told you that there was maybe possibly hypothetically someone that liked you… what would you do?”

“… i’d say they have wonderful taste, but are insanely pathetic to think i’d ever let myself fall so low as to share myself with someone who most likely isn’t even worthy of my time.”

“ oh.. so you wouldn’t date anyone?”

“ i’m not saying i wouldn’t, i’m simply saying there are very few people i’d have enough interest in to do so.”

“ so there are people?! who Y/n?! who?!”

charlie had small hope that you could be talking about Alastor, and if she was proven correctly then this would be the ultimate fuel to Charlie’s ‘ get y/n and Alastor together’ operation

now a few days go by, and due to being pre-occupied with now renovating the hotel, you haven’t had time to see Alastor much, and strangely you find it bothering you

however you try brushing it off, instead occupying yourself with work, picking out floors, colors, chandeliers

it’s that night that you wake up in a frightened state, having a dream of Alastor dying for you that you realize you care about him more than you let yourself think

hurriedly you rush down the halls on the now fancy hotel, desperate to make sure he’s alright

it’s then you peek through the key hole in the door to the library, to see him there, sitting down and reading a book

as you let your a sigh of relief, Alastor’s shadows are fawning around you, letting Alastor know that your just on the other side of the door

he stands up, closing his book and shutting it, before a shadow appears infront of the door, which is soon replaced with Alastor himself

“ hello darling. why are you up so late?”

“ uh,… well, i couldn’t sleep. that’s all.”

“ well dont just stand there, come on in, i’d be happy to read to you dear.”

the two of you sit in the library reading for a few hours, and you contemplate on confessing to him, but alas, you don’t

Unknown to the two of you, Charlie and Vaggie actually wake up a few hours later, wandering around the hotel and checking on everything, only to find the two of you cuddled up and asleep in the library

part 2! the other woman

798 notes · View notes

g-on-ef · 3 years

Text

More blitz x striker head canons along with him and Charlie being siblings because why not

Okay going off my Lilith's Striker's mom AU, the bandana that Striker wears was a gift the last thing his mom gave him before they separated so it's very important to him, however whenever he sees a loved one {mainly Loona and Blitz (Charlie later on)} being sad or hurt he would take it off and wrap it around them his way of reminding them he's gonna protect them from any harm whether it's physical, emotional, or any type of danger if he wraps it around you it's him promising that everything will be alright. {not gonna lie, this idea was inspired by Luffy and how he gives his hat to those who needs it the most}

Blitz being scared that one day Striker will realize that Striker could do better than him

Striker reminding Blitz that he's the best thing to ever happen to him

Blitz purring whenever he and Striker cuddle Striker purposely making Blitz purr because he loves it

Both switch when it comes to sex but Striker is always in control

Bad memories when he would sell his "services" in order to survive

Charlie finding out she has a brother and is excited to meet him

Only to see that he works with I.M.P which makes her mad as they have been giving her a hard time wit redeeming people

And here comes siblings fighting

Charlie trying to convince everyone not to take revenge

Striker reminding sinners that they're in hell because they got fucked over

Charlie going to the surface to save whoever I.M.P is trying to kill

Striker shooting at her whenever she tries to do something

Okay he doesn't but he definitely grabs her and tells the rest of his family to take care of it

Striker giving Angel Dust a safe place to go whenever he wants to get drunk or away from Charlie and her bs

Moxxie and Charlie definitely get along

Alastor and Millie definitely get along

Vaggie hates both Blitz and Striker

The feeling is mutual

Blitz being shocked his boyfriend is related to the queen and the princess

Striker reminding Blitz how he hates the monarchy and is doing everything to bring it down

Que him and Charlie having a debate about what's better for hell and it's people.

Striker and Blitz being assholes and fucking each other in Charlie's hotel and being very vocal

Awkward moments at breakfast

Charlie trying to be a good aunt to Loona

Loona feeling awkward that her family went from an overbearing dad, two annoying imps, to a cool but still overbearing dad, a grandmother who wants to spend time getting to know her and an aunt who's more of a cuddler than Blitz

Lilith coming to Striker's and Blitz's apartment unannounced, she once caught them when Blitz was giving Striker a blowjob

Neither could look her in the eye after that

Tea time, Lilith inviting them all to join her for a cup of tea

Lilith telling Striker and Blitz how Stella keeps bitching about how her husband wants to fuck an imp and how he was knocked out by another imp and his book was stolen

Striker and Blitz not sure how to tell her that they're the imps Stella is talking about

Lilith knows but won't say anything

Loon not sure how to act whenever Lilith takes her out shopping and tells her to buy whatever she wants

Millie and Nifty having a girls night out

Moxxie and Vaggie talking about weapons together

Striker drinking with Husk

Blitz and Charlie actually get along despite her relationship with his boyfriend the two surprisingly get along really well

Striker finding out that Lucifer thinks Charlie is a failure que him wrapping his bandana on her because he doesn't know how to comfort people wit words

Charlie finding out the importance of the bandana and Striker wrapping it around someone

Striker, Alastor, Angel Dust, Blitz, Millie, Vaggie, defending the hotel from people who are trying to attack it

Blitz and Striker enjoying the view that the hotel has.

And that's all I got ^^

#helluva striker #head canons #head canon #lilith hazbin hotel #charlie hazbin hotel #striker helluva boss #blitzo helluva boss #helluva blitzo #blitzo x striker #helluva boss striker

53 notes · View notes

kathyprior4200 · 4 years

Text

Haven Hotel: That’s Disengagement!

A princess with long black wavy hair walked out onto a high balcony. She wore a black undershirt with a white bow tie on top. A dark teal shirt, long white pants and white high heel shoes completed the look. Her face was pale white and teal blushes were present on her cheeks. Her eyes consisted of white pupils and dark blue sclera. Perched on her head was a black spiked crown. She was the inverted, antithesis of Charlie, the princess of Hell in a parallel world.

“For all my life, I’ve been taught that all angels have good inside them. But I know that to be a lie. Ever since Lucifer and Lilith, God’s closest angels betrayed Him… I don’t think I can believe in these flawed teachings anymore…”

The princess was Coerciona Egnam, Coercia for short. She was born and raised in Heaven…though she was not at all one would expect her to be in such a place. Self-entitled and pessimistic, nothing much could cheer her up except heavy metal music, rebelling against the rules and the occasional brawl.

“It makes sense that only a worthy few are able to be here in Heaven. Choosing them out of the sea of sinner scum. Yet ironically, even the saints and Heaven-born aren’t flawless all the time. It’s inevitable that all those imperfect beings will go to Hell. They deserve to deal with suffering and challenges. Best of all, they wouldn’t be bound by social expectations. Heck, I wouldn’t be too surprised if it were me. I do enjoy my comfortable life here, just not these restrictions.”

Her servants Pub and Chub were fat white naked cherubs with horns on their heads, small white feathery wings, and black eyes. One tested the strings on an electric guitar while the other shot out torpedoes from a small cannon.

Outside was a white clock tower standing tall against the blue sky. The numbers read 0 then changed to 365 days. Writing above the numbers read “Days until the next cleanse in Hell.”

The black Exorcists did their job in eliminating part of the demon population in 2P Hell like they did every year in the canon Hell. But at the same time each year, the Anti-Exorcists, risen white demons with white bat wings and horns, invaded 2P Heaven. They carried glowing black pitchforks and turned innocent denizens into demons. The Anti-Exorcists would carry books and tempt angels with their innermost desires. Sex, sin, self-expression, sorcery, whatever that need was. Then, once they were hooked, they were stabbed with the pitchforks, causing their wings to burn off and sending them plummeting down to Hell. Nearby families would grieve at their loss.

It was quite the entertaining show for Princess Coercia!

Coercia leaned against the marble balcony and began to sing in a low growl.

(“I’m Always Evading Shadows”)

“At the end of the journey, there’s suffering

Denying it, how often I’ve tried

But my life’s a disgrace

Just a slap in the face

And the harsh truths have all been denied”

“A sliver of despair in this world of light

I know this world’s not free of sin

I search for the good

But get misunderstood

And reality will always win”

“Why have I always been imperfect?

Lost in this brainwashed sea

I wonder if the world’s to blame

I wonder if it could be me”

“I’m always evading shadows

Trapped, drowning in the social flow

Free-will forbidden, my answers are hidden

Lying down below”

“Some people sugarcoat their speeches

I always blab out what I mean

I may be cruel but I am no fool

Things are never what they seem

Believe me”

“I’m always evading shadows

Waiting for people to awaken

In vain”

A nearby portal opened and out came the Exterminators, bloodstains over their wings and bodies and harpoons. They took off their creepy LED masks, their white angelic faces revealed. One by one, the citizens clapped and cheered. One of the Archangels with four black wings flew up to the front, his spiked halo glowing. He took off his mask, revealing a white stern face with yellow eyes and short black hair. In his utility belt were a few daggers, whips, chains and a bottle of emergency holy water.

“Another successful purge,” their leader Samael (Venom of God) praised. “You cleansed more sinners while still keeping the population in a good balance. Well done, all of you.” He cleared his throat and made a cross symbol over his heart. “For the greater good in the name of our Lord.”

The angels repeated the phrase.

“Until next year. Dismissed.” The Archangel soldiers saluted and then flew off separately to see their families. Several of the angels, having been brainwashed in their Exterminator states, shook their heads sadly at what they had done.

All around Coercia, Holy City was basked in a heavenly glow. The city was located up in the sky among the clouds, but no one had to worry about falling, even the ones without their wings out. A large church with the appearance of the Notre Dame Cathedral stood proudly in the city square, made of polished marble. Choirs and songs floated through the stained glass windows as the regular angels went in and out to pray and visit with their neighbors. A large fountain sprouted non-alcoholic wine of a golden color. It had a white statue of Mary and Jesus as a young boy at the top, both with welcoming faces.

The streets were spotless and clean. Roofs and roads were powered by the sun’s rays. The Cloud 9 supermarket had endless amounts of food for sale…no one ever had to worry about going hungry. Charity workers and volunteers worked by the dozens, passing out food and bestowing miracles for those who needed them in the lower levels of Heaven. Metatron, the highest ranking angel, was busy keeping records of human lives, deaths and the messages of God.

This version of Heaven was very similar to the Heaven in the realm next door, the one above the familiar Hell with the Hazbin Hotel. The architecture was almost the same. But unlike those angels with their blonde hair and red blushes, these angels most often had black hair and teal blushes on their pale cheeks. Like in the other Heaven, some of the bipedal angels displayed animal-like characteristics: some had heads of doves, others had swan wings and mannerisms. Many of them had fur, ears, and fluffy tails of dogs and wolves. It was the only place where dogs and cats could dance and prance together without conflict. Still a few others had faces of flowers or even objects like harps and musical instruments.

God’s Palace was the grandest place of all: it was settled at the highest point of Heaven like Mount Olympus. Only a few angels were allowed to visit there. God’s abode, the Empyrean, had an elite group of angels guarding it. Seraph angels with six fiery rainbow wings guarded the throne of God, chanting “Holy, holy, holy!” much to the annoyance to those nearby. There were rumors that in the palace gardens, the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge were grown there, heavily protected.

Lucius and Lilian were Coercia’s parents, those who took the place of Lucifer and Lilith after they were banished. They were named the new king and queen of heaven (Under God and a few Archangels), thus Coercia became the princess.

Lucius had a white face, teal blushes on his cheeks and short dark hair. Lucius wore a gray suit with a dark blue bow tie and a black top hat with two white feathers attacked to the brim. Lilian’s hair was long and black, and she too had the teal blushes and typical angel features. She wore a golden halo crown and an elegant white sequined dress. Both had white wings which could turn black when they were angry or defensive.

In a nearby movie studio, Valentine the butterfly producer, Nil the TV angel and Ashen, the doll angel sat together playing a board game. Despite liking old fashioned shows and the like, they still controlled much of Heaven’s technology and media. Iris, owner of an emporium, cried as she crossed out the name of her former female colleague, Francesca.

Along the street, a red car stopped beside the sidewalk. A tall creature opened the car door and stepped out. The spider angel had a furry dark gray face and body, plus multiple slender arms: six in total. He wore tall boots, green gloves and a shirt with a teal bow-tie near the top. His shirt and sleeves had black and dark green stripes. Green dots resembling eyes were located under his eyes.

“Thank you for the ride,” said the spider angel.

“No problem, Devil Grit,” said the driver Sivart, a white furry owl guy wearing a top hat. He tipped his hat to him and drove away.

Devil Grit walked over to a vending machine and bought himself a granola bar. He then gave it to a homeless guy leaning against the wall.

He walked inside a building and onto a stage in an auditorium. His opponent was already standing nervously at his spot, a microphone rising from the ground and stopping in front of him.

Sir Anguis was the nervous white snake. He had a white face with large slightly teal eyes with white pupils. He wore a white bow tie with a blue circle in the center below his thin neck. Surrounding his face on a flap of skin were bright teal eyes against dark purple. His suit was light gray with dark purple vertical stripes. Finally, he wore a large light gray top hat with a large green moving eye in the center.

The crowd settled into their seats and the debate began.

“Those other brave do gooders will do great with helping me with my presentation. Anyone want to try?”

A couple of hands shot up. Mechanical eggs on robotic legs moved around to help out the white snake lord.

“Oh thank you, my Nestlings,” he said.

Air Anguis pushed a button and a presentation showed up on a screen titled “Heaven Economics and Invention Ideas.”

“I don’t like to fight,” Sir Anguis said, clearing his throat, “and I’m super nervous up here…”

The Nestlings rolled their eyes.

Devil Grit glared at his cowardly opponent who then yelped, “Don’t look at me like that!”

“Heaven doesn’t need any future technology,” Devil Grit argued as he stepped to his podium, “because we already have better things: friendships, food, and fun.”

Sir Anguis glanced down nervously at his note cards and read from them. “At this rate I will persuade the entire East end of Holy City by night’s beginning. Or was it day’s end? And nothing, not a single beauty in this paradise of bliss, will be able to change my mind or escape the constrictive grasp of persuasive argumentation.”

“Heaven will be ours, though it’s mine in my mind. And everybody will know the name of…”

“Scared Snake,” said a female voice.

“W-who said that?” Sir Anguis asked.

“You ready for a debate, old man?”

The voice belonged to Berri Blossom, the opposite of Cherri Bomb in Hell. She was a tall cyclops with black skin, with a single green eye with a black cross in the center. She wore a long dark green dress and white high heeled shoes. Her black skin was decorated in some areas near her shoulders with tiny teal specks. Her long hair was curly, blue at the top and black near the bottom. She pushed her thin dark rimmed glasses up to her face, looking at her organized set of notes in front of her.

She walked over beside her academic partner Devil Grit. “Why don’t you play with your tinker toys somewhere else while I go over the logistics of divine law school?” She looked professional and poised. “Seven Reasons Why Heavenly Traditions Never Fail.”

“You want to go, madam?” Sir Anguis asked, a spark of rebellion in him. He fiddled with a few gadgets before the well-dressed Nestling eggs…egged him on to continue. He flicked his hood back. “Well, let the battle for tenure and status begin!”

A neon logo appeared on the screen, saying “777 News” surrounded by a halo. The names of the news cast appeared on the bottom of the screen.

“Good afternoon, Holy City!” smiled a pale woman with short black hair, wearing a light blue dress. “I’m Catie Carejoy!”

“And I’m Ron Wrench!” said the man next to her, wearing a business suit and who had a wrench for a head.

After discussing the weather, various humane societies, and legends on Earth, Catie continued, “The debate battle is underway between inventor and coward Sir Anguis and professional economics expert Berri Blossom. Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of His Majesty Lucius, who’s here to discuss her brand new passion-project! All that and more after the break!”

Inside the break room, Phalla the romantic butterfly angel adjusted Coercia’s white bow tie. Nearby, a blue tinted sign read “No smoking.” Another sign read “In The Air” in large letters.

“Okay, you remember what to say?” Phalla asked Coercia.

“Yes, I’m ready,” Coercia stated.

Phalla brushed her long black hair from her face, the ends of her black hair teal. Like Vaggie in Hell, Phalla’s thick hair extended down to her legs, giving her hair the appearance of moth wings. She had a glowing green cross over her right eye and her left eye was purple with a white pupil. A teal bow was perched on top of her head. Her skin was light gray and she wore a dark gray crop top with white Xs over her breasts. She also wore leggings, her right legging striped dark green and light gray, her left legging light gray.

“Oh this is gonna be great!” Phalla squealed happily. “How about you make your speech sound more exciting?”

“Come on, Phalla, I know what I’m going to say,” Coercia answered, crossing her arms.

Phalla walked over to the pitcher of ambrosia punch on the table. Pub and Chub ate bagels from the table. Phalla got an idea. “Oh! What if you…”

“Sing a song about it?” Coercia asked, with a roll of her eyes. “I’m not going to. This is serious!” She curled her hand into a fist and brought it down on the palm of her other hand. “They won’t take me serious if I start belting out some random song. Life isn’t a musical.”

“But neither is it an emo tragedy,” Phalla pointed out. “Life is great, especially with all the cute guys around.” Her single purple eye shinned.

“Romance, bleh,” Coercia made a face and Phalla giggled.

“Hey,” Phalla brightened, pulling out a piece of paper. “I have some ideas about what you could say.” She bounced up and down. “The highlighted bits are the best parts!”

“They’re all highlighted,” Coercia replied, scanning the paper. “You call your childish drawing your ideas for me?”

“Sure!” Phalla said. “Look here.” It showed a list of different terms “sinners = winners” “Misunderstood are still good” and “demons and angels party between worlds!” Skulls were lined up at the bottom of the page: “we’re all connected by death.”

“Say, that’s actually pretty good!” Coercia said with a smile of sharp teeth.

“Thanks!” Phalla beamed.

Coercia snatched the piece of paper from her friend and tore it in half, much to her shock. “But you should know my ideas are always better.” She tossed the pieces of paper aside, gave a salute and walked out the door.

Catie waved with a smile. “Hi. I’m Catie Carejoy.” She held out her hand but Coercia didn’t take it, instead remarking, “You can put that away. I don’t touch commoners, I have standards.” Catie, looked stunned, pulling her hand back. “So this project of yours, when did you come up with this idea of creating a hotel in order to…break the law as the rumors say?”

The angel crew murmured nervously.

“I’m gonna keep this short,” Coercia said as she walked over to the desk. “You might think my idea doesn’t hold water, but that doesn’t matter to me. I’m too influential to give a flying feather about what some stuffy old news lady thinks of my proposal.”

The crowd gasped. Ron shook his head.

“Well, if you can’t take constructive criticism and be polite…”

“…and we’re live!” called a voice as a buzzer sounded.

“And we’re back!” Catie said, rushing over into her seat. “So, Carrie…”

“It’s Princess Coerciona Egnam,” said Coercia, sitting in a chair beside her and Ron Wrench.

“Sorry. So tell us about your project.”

Coercia took a deep breath. “As most of you know, I was born here in Heaven, and growing up, I’ve always tried to see the good in everything around me. But recently, I don’t believe that’s always the case. We just completed another Extermination. So many sinful souls lost but for what reason? God said in the Commandments “thou shall not kill,” yet killing random people is okay? If we can’t even trust ourselves with our actions and thoughts, is Heaven truly paradise? Not to mention that ever since Lucifer and Lilith betrayed Him, we don’t know who to really trust. Some people are given too many chances!” She pounded her fist on the desk, startling Catie.

Coercia stood up and made her way forward. “No one is truly flawless. Mistakes are made, but we get blamed for doing things we sometimes enjoy. Sex, drugs, partying, swearing, even violence. All because we don’t live up to impossible standards imposed upon us, both here and on Earth! I can’t stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such lies and propaganda! So, I’ve been thinking…isn’t there a more liberating way to hinder forced compliance here in Heaven? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to express change through…recreation?”

The angels talked quietly amongst themselves. Phalla nodded in appreciation.

“Well I think yes,” Coercia continued. “So that’s what this project aims to achieve.” She walked back to the desk and sat down. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m opening the first of its kind, a hotel that encourages moderate amounts of so-called sin!” She spread out her arms.

The audience stared in stunned silence. Many of the adults were shaking their heads.

“Who is that girl?” asked a dragon watching from inside a soup kitchen. “What’s her deal with trying to cause more trouble for this world?”

“She’s nuts!” added another angel with an eagle’s head and wings, wearing a suit.

Coercia added nervously while still trying to keep a glare, “I figure it would serve a purpose…a place to work toward self-expression. Yay.”

Among the crowd of angels watching the news outside, a tall man with a thin pale face stood toward the back. He wore a light blue dress suit, had blue and white hair, fluffy deer-like ears, and large blue eyes. His white wings were folded behind him. He watched the program with a look of worry. A deer creature made of light appeared beside him. A sign posted on the wall showing the same man as a DJ read: “Counseling and good times with the Techno Angel!”

A camera man shook his head at Coercia. Phalla walked up to him and pleaded, “Please give her a chance.”

Coercia sighed. “Look, I know every single one of you has insecurities and issues that need not be bottled up. If you could just embrace those sides of yourselves…”

Coercia then smirked. “Maybe I’m not getting through to you.”

Phalla clapped her hands and “ooohed” in excitement as Rub and Chub got the electric guitar ready.

Coercia showed a pair of sharp white teeth and black curved horns emerged from her head. Black feathery wings sprouted from her back and an X appeared over her right eye. A harpoon appeared in her right hand and a spiked halo appeared over her head. She was in her dark angelic Exorcist form. She posed over the desk and began.

(“Inside of Every Angel is a Sinner”)

“I have a dream

I’m here to tell

About a fantastic mind-blowing hotel

One of a kind, go and yell

A great place to dwell

Catering to specific clientele”

*Guitar starts and scream vocals*

“Inside of every angel is a sinner

Inside of every do-gooder is a beast

Inside of every jolly go-lucky mentality

Is a subconscious portion we know the least”

“Resist all the rules

You’re not passive fools!

With just a little time

Down at the Hazbin Hotel!”

“So all you rescuers, priests, and heroes

Gifted athletes, jocks, and cheerios

And the sheep citizens, relief is here!

All of you angels, leaders, and stars

Traditionalists with fancy cars

And the activists on Mars

Show no fear

No taboos, no laws

Embrace your flaws

You’ll be truly free

Check in with me

It’s the right path, you’ll see”

“There’ll be no more pressure

And no more status quo

Just friendship, fun, and endless bags of dough

Establishment put to rest

You’ll be like, “Yes!”

In the tunnel of darkness you’ll go!”

“So all your hierarchies, GMOs, politics, and isms

Lectures, labor standards, and diamond studded prisms

Ancient Indian elitisms

All must die”

“All you fantasizers, artists, servers, and lords

Spoiled children, winners of awards

Imposers of chores

Face your fear!”

“Be who you are

And you’ll go so far

Our service will raise the bar

You’ll be the star

Come from near or afar at the Hazbin Hotel!

Yeah!”

“Wow,” said an angel in a top hat. “That was…alright.”

The crowd clapped half-heartedly.

Catie shook her head. “What in the Nine Levels makes you think a single denizen of Heaven would give two feathers about becoming a sinful person? You have no proof that your little experiment even works! You want people to disobey God and the rules just…because?!”

Coercia lifted up her head. “Well, we have a patron already who believes in our cause.”

“And who might that be?” Catie asked.

“Oh just someone named…Devil Grit.”

“The grumpy old spider?” asked Ron Wrench.

“He’s not old,” argued Catie. “He just acts older than he is.”

“Anyway,” said Catie to Coercia. “You couldn’t even get that guy to do something bad, even if a gun was pointed at his head.”

“Oh I beg to differ,” Coercia argued. “He’s been troubled, dirty, and having conflicted thoughts for two weeks now.”

“Breaking news!” called a voice as the screen changed to a recent debate shown in a building.

The news came on, detailing Devil Grit and his recent TED talk about the 7 Heavenly Virtues.

“Well, it looks like the one discussing the Heavenly Virtues is none other than…conservative Devil Grit! What a coincidence!”

She and Ron did a “ratings!” and jazz hands.

Corceria rolled her eyes.

“I’m sorry to say, but it looks like your plan’s departed on arrival,” said Catie. “I hope you learned a good lesson here.”

Coercia’s eyes twitched, her teeth barred. “Lesson?! I’ll teach you a lesson, bitch!” The princess and Catie fought fist and claw on the desk. Ron called for security.

After Coercia was kicked out, Phalla followed her wordlessly to the white limo. Devil Grit, Phalla, and Coercia rode back to the hotel.

Devil Grit lounged in the far seat, wearing an outfit of black with green stripes and green gloves on his four hands.

“Devil,” said Phalla with concern. “I know you were trying to do good by doing your professional speech. But could you please try not to help society in public? Now people won’t believe us when Coercia says that people are free to express their earthly desires.”

“I’m sorry Phalla,” said Devil from the other seat, “But I have a reputation to keep up. Helping the greater good is His plan for all of us. Besides, a good professional debate is a reasonable form of self-expression right?”

“Not to everyone,” said Phalla. “What about the hotel? People are thinking that you don’t care about Coercia’s project at all.”

“I do care, senorita,” said Devil. “I just don’t think it’s going to be easy to accomplish in such a short time. So many angels are fixated on tradition, myself included.”

“I do appreciate all of your help,” said Coercia, still fuming after the interview, arms crossed. “But I will make this project work, even if I have to do it myself.”

The white limo pulled up in front of the hotel, a pristine building made of glass and marble. The group got out of the car and stepped inside.

White wings made of rainbow scales posed as part of the structure on the roof. The stained glass windows by the door were decorated with apples, a tree of life, and many shades of blue and green. The sign above read “Hazbin Hotel” in big letters on the roof. Inside the lobby, a painting of Adam reaching toward God was displayed on the high ceiling. The hotel had seven floors with seven rooms on each floor. There was even a lab down in the basement which belonged to a man named Baker, the opposite of the demon fish scientist Baxter from Hell. A bowl of blue berries and blue raspberries sat on a table below a welcome banner. Phalla rested on a couch while Devil Grit munched on a granola bar.

“It’s probably a good idea to stock up some more food in this place,” said Devil Grit. “Good or bad, people always seem to be greedy when they’re hungry.”

Devil Grit pulled out a chart and went over probabilities and graphs regarding the hotel and the potential number of visitors. Coercia just sighed and walked away toward the door. She went outside and took out her cell phone, calling her mom.

“Carol cakes!” called her mother through the phone. Coercia cringed.

“Mom, I told you not to call me that! I’m not a little kid anymore.”

“Sorry, I can’t help it,” said Lilian with a giggle. “How was the interview?”

“Meh. It was alright. I proposed my idea, but nobody seemed to buy it.”

Lilian’s tone turned more serious. “Coercia, why do you insist that everyone must go down to that horrible place? Why can’t you just see the good in people?”

“Because,” Coercia said, “Everyone has flaws and they don’t realize it.”

“Yes, but that also applies to you, too. Before you get involved with the lives of others, you need to look inside and critique yourself.”

“I’m a princess. Everyone else has more flaws than I do.”

Lilian let out a long sigh. “Young lady, we’ve been through this I don’t know how many times. You have to push your selfish thoughts aside and just accept the way things are. It’s part of a higher purpose.”

“And what is this “higher purpose” anyway? To be His flock of dazed sheep, dancing around without any care in the world? To not experience ecstasy and adventure, even for just a moment?”

“That stuff is dangerous and forbidden. Thousands of souls would do anything to get up to this level of Heaven. And you just want to throw your life away?”

Coercia paused in thought. “If it means proving myself and serving Him in a way I see fit, then so be it.”

“You have delusions of what entertainment and happiness is, Carol. Sometimes, you need to take the time and appreciate the beauty that’s in front of you.”

“Other than my own refection, I don’t really see beauty in many other things. Well, heavy metal and watching battles…oh and watching sinners beg for their last breaths…”

“You have a lot to learn, dear daughter,” Lilian replied. “I’ll leave you alone to think about it.”

“Whatever.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

Coercia hung up and went back inside, shutting the door behind her. She leaned against the door frame, closing her eyes in frustration…trying to hold back a stream of tears from the stress.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Two knocks, four ones, then a last one. Coercia turned around with a sigh to answer it. She swung the stained glass door open. From outside stood a tall slender man with a pale light gray face, wearing a light blue pinstriped dress coat. A white upward cross was part of the design on his light blue undershirt. He was carrying a modern microphone atop a staff in his left hand. His small antlers were white and his hair and deer ears were blue with white tips. A monocle rested under his left eye. Coercia narrowed her eyes.

“Hi, excuse me…” he spoke quietly. “Is this…”

Coercia angrily slammed the door in his face.

She opened it again.

“…the right address?” finished the man.

“No!” she shouted, slamming it again.

“Hey Phalla!” called Coercia.

“What?” her friend asked.

“The crybaby Deer Man is at the door!”

“What?!” she asked, blushes appearing on her cheeks.

“Who?” asked Devil Grit.

“What should I do?”

“Well…let him in!” Phalla cried, eye shining.

Coercia rolled her eyes and scoffed. She sighed and opened the door again.

“May I talk now?” the man asked in a radio voice.

“Sure, whatever,” Coercia said.

The man held out a white gloved four-fingered hand. “Rotsala, it’s a pleasure to meet you, miss.” He walked in. Worry was etched on his face. “I saw your interview on the picture show and I was worried sick! I was afraid you were never coming back after your argument. Why I haven’t been that upset since the 1929 Stock Market Crash!” He sniffed, “So many poor orphans…”

“Hello there!” Phalla called with a smile, staring up and walking in front of him. She greeted in Spanish. “I’m so glad you’re here to help out my friend with this new hotel! I’m a big fan of yours and just being in your presence is just…” She swooned. “Oh just take me already you cute, pompous, talk show, blueberry pimp lord!”

She embraced him and he stood stunned, his face blushing. “I do love hugs,” he whispered as she stepped back. “I bet all of you would be so nice and soft after we get to know each other for a while…”

Phalla blushed while Devil Grit and Coercia made disgusted faces. “Not gonna happen, creep,” Devil Grit said.

Rotsala gave a nervous laugh, and popped a strawberry and blueberry into his mouth.

“You’re not gonna cling to us are you?” Phallas asked. “Or, you know…”

“Dear, if I wanted to screw anyone here…I would’ve done so already.”

Rotsala tilted his head. His blue eyes briefly glowed with blue upside down radio dials in them. Electricity sparked around cyan colored voodoo symbols in the air. His eyes filled with tears, tears spilling down his pale gray cheeks.

Phalla watched in bliss, while Devil and Coercia rolled their eyes at the show-off.

Rotsala shook his head and his eyes returned to normal blue.

“No, I’m here because I want to relax and help out.”

“Say what?” Coercia asked, eyebrow raised.

Rotsala held up his staff which glowed blue. He said with a sad crack in his voice, “Goodbye, is this thing off?”

He tapped it. A blue sad looking eye appeared in the center of the microphone. It spoke in a mechanical voice. “You’re silent, quiet and unclear!”

“That’s your motivation motto every day?” Devil Grit asked, crossing his four arms. “Pathetic!”

“Tragic and mysterious, I love it!” Phalla squealed. “It’s like the opposite of announcing. It’s…denouncing.”

Devil Grit elbowed her. “Hun, could you not get attracted to every other man you see? I’m your boyfriend.”

“I can’t help it, love!” she cried. “I just get so distracted easily.”

“Um…you want to help?” Coercia asked.

Rotsala appeared behind them after morphing into light.

“With…” he spoke in her growl then his normal shy sounding voice, “…this random thing you’re trying to do. This hotel. I want to help you run it, if that’s okay.”

“Uh…why?”

Rotsala choked a bit on his words. “Why doesn’t anyone do anything? Sheer absolute lethargy! I’ve been partying around and keeping busy for decades. I would like to do something more relaxing and easier.”

“My work became overwhelming, lacking focus. I’ve come to crave a new form of disengagement!”

Coercia rolled her eyes. “Does getting into a fist fight with a reporter count as disengagement?”

“No,” Rotsala said. “It’s violent and messy, not really my thing. Life is truly strange…reality, fantasy, true tragedy. After all the world is a grave, and the grave is a world of disengagement!”

Coercia brightened a bit. “So, does this mean you think it’s possible to taint an angel? That life is meaningless without your own self to temporarily control it.”

Rotsala sniffed and held up a hand. “Who knows? Anything’s possible. Sinning, oh the vice of humanity! I think there’s plenty left that can change such marvelous saints. But then again, the chance that was given to them was the life they lived before. The reward is this!” He spread out his arms. “According to God, there’s no undoing what is done…or at least that’s the way it should be.”

“So then, why do you want to help me if you don’t fully believe in my cause?” Coercia asked.

Rotsala turned around to look at her. “Consider it an investment in ongoing knowledge for myself and others.” He let out a small smile. “I want to watch the blessed of this world struggle to give into temptation, only to repeatedly realize and raise themselves up the golden ladder of success!” His eyes glowed blue.

“Right…” Coercia began.

“Yes indeed,” Rotsala said, both of them walking off to the side. “I see you taking risks and who better to keep you grounded than I.”

“Ah, so what’s the deal with Mr. Frown over there?” Devil Grit asked.

“Wait, you’ve never heard of him before?” Phalla asked. “You’ve been here longer than me!”

Devil shrugged his shoulders.

“The Techno Angel, one of the most complex beings Heaven as ever seen?”

“Eh, I’m not too big on people.”

Phalla sighed and leaned in close to explain.

“Decades ago, Rotsala manifested in Heaven, seemingly in one day. He began to catch the attention of overlords and archangels who had kept to themselves for centuries. That kind of attraction and magic power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his adventures all throughout Heaven just so everyone could experience some joy, tragedy and emotions. Saints starting calling him the Techno Angel, (as unoriginal as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world’s most ancient and constructive heroes. But one thing’s for sure: he’s an unpredictable source of silliness, a depressed spirit of mystery and a loving being of order…or disorder, the likes of which we can get involved in, especially if we want to end up aroused!”

“You done?” Devil asked. “He looks like a blueberry businessman. Or a shady con-man. Either way, you’re delusional.”

“Well, I trust him completely!”

“Do you blindly trust any man? All men?”

Phalla skipped over to Coercia. Rotsala examined a family portrait of Lucius, Lilian and a young Coercia in the center. Young Coercia wore a white dress with a turquoise top to it. Her hair was jet black, braided in black barbed wire, her cheeks had teal blushes. Her mother had long black hair and wore a fancy white dress and a round gold crown. Her father was dressed in a dress suit of white and blue, with blue and black stripes in the center below a white bow tie. He wore a large light gray top hat with a dove and a green apple on it. His cane also had a green apple on the top. Both of them were smiling, showing rows of sharp teeth, white wings folded behind them.

“Coercia, listen to me, you can believe this dreamer. He isn’t just a sad face. He’s a miracle maker, pure good! But… don’t count on him to believe in your cause. He could be tainted and rebel, but we don’t know that. He could very well side with God and your parents. And he’s most likely looking for a way to hinder everything we’re trying to do if it means following God’s rules. But still, give him a chance. He’s really sweet.”

“I…” Coercia began. “…we don’t know that. Look, he’s a crying bitch, and he probably doesn’t want to change.”

Phalla put her hands on her friend’s shoulders.

“The whole point of your hotel is to give people a chance! To have faith things will be better and people can embrace their flaws, their true selves! How can you turn someone away? You can’t. It goes against everything you’re trying to do. Everything you believe in.”

Coercia looked downcast. Her friend had a good point. She hated when people made good arguments against her. But it also gave her a chance to consider her thoughts. Phalla kept her grounded and added some cheer to her overall fake afterlife. Coercia smiled at her.

“You take care of yourself,” she said to Phalla.

“Coercia,” warned Phalla, “Unless you are serious about responsibility, do not make a promise with him!”

Demons often made deals with each other that often resulted in gaining power at the cost of one’s soul or freedom. Usually the one who initiated the deal would gain advantage. A demonic deal was bad in and of itself. Breaking an angelic promise could result in rejection, eternal torture and damnation.

“Don’t worry,” said Coercia. “I learned one thing from my dad.” She mimicked his low voice, “Ya don’t break trust with other angels!”

Coercia marched over to the Techno Angel.

“Ok Mr. Rot... You’re prissy as fuck, and you clearly see what I’m trying to do here is a too-dangerous risk. But I don’t.”

Glowing blue symbols briefly appeared around a concerned Rotsala, then vanished.

Coercia continued. “I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be themselves. After all, it’s in their nature and the sooner they realize it, the better. So, I’m taking your offer to help. On the condition there be no lessons or lovey-dovey speeches made.”

Rotsala twirled his cane and held out his smallest finger from his right hand.

“So, it’s a promise, then?”

The room was surrounded by a pink aura as light spirits roamed around the walls. The wind blew against Phalla’s and Devil’s faces.

“Nope!” Coercia yelled, holding out her hands. The energy stopped. “No shaking, no promises! I…hmmm…”

She paused in thought.

“As Princess of Heaven and heir to the throne, I hereby order that you help out with this hotel for as long as you desire.”

A moment of pause…

“Sound fair?”

“Fair enough,” Rotsala said with a slump of his shoulders and walked on. His cane vanished.

Rotsala stopped and spotted Phalla to the side.

Phalla went up and tickled him under the chin, much to his shock.

“Smile, deer man!” she said.

Rotsala walked on, speechless.

“So…where is your hotel staff?” Rotsala asked Coercia.

“Uh well,” Coercia began. Rotsala peered at Phalla through his monocle below his left eye.

He stuttered. “You’re going to n-need more than that.”

Rotsala walked over to Devil Grit, who was sitting on a stool.

“And what can I do, my business fellow?” asked Rotsala walking over to the dark furred spider, blushing.

“You can suck a dick,” Devil retorted in a grumpy tone.

“AH! Ok,” said Rotsala, blushing and stepping back. “Can it be yours?”

“Fuck off,” Devil added, pulling out a long knife from his belt.

Rotsala summoned his cane. “Well this just won’t do. You want others to cause trouble, yes? I suppose I can cash in a few favors to deaden things up!”

He snapped his fingers and the wall beside the fireplace cracked. The circle went dark, the fire going out. Ice cold water appeared to fill in the circle and a shadowy figure solely formed inside. Rotsala walked over and removed the dripping figure from the water. A large single purple eye was revealed.

Devil Grit, Phalla and Coercia peered at the creature. With a balloon deflating sound and a puff of white smoke, the figure was revealed.

“This little rascal is Klutzy!” Rotsala announced with a worried smile, dropping the figure.

A black-skinned short cyclops female landed on her face on the floor. She stood up with a grumpy look on her face. She wore a dark green skirt with a white stray cat off to the left side. Her arms and legs were white and stick-shaped. Several blue dots stood out from the lighter green color of her skirt. Her shirt was black with cyan paint spots off to the right. Her large eye took up much of her pale white face; it was dark blue with a white pupil. Her short hair was teal with a dark blue spot off to the left.

“I’m Klutzy,” she grumbled, clenching her fists. “It’s a waste of time to meet you. It’s been a while since I’ve seen strangers.”

Her pupil narrowed from side to side.

“Why are you all men?” she asked. “Have any women here? Or video games? Screw this place.”

She briefly picked up Coercia, then let go.

“Oh man, this place is boring!” she exclaimed. She ran over to a vase and proceeded to knock it over with her elbow. It shattered to pieces on the floor. She tossed couch cushions aside.

“It really needs a more manly touch, disorganized clutter’s more fun.” She grinned as she poured dirt from a flower pot onto the rug.

“Yes, yes, yep, yeah!” she yelled as she proceeded to break windows and knock down more stuff. Then she plopped down on a couch once the room was messy. “I’m bored. Make me some food or something.”

Phalla, Devil, and Coercia looked on in worry, Rotsala just stared off into space. “She has quite the temper sometimes.”

A cat angel was working on a Rubik’s cube with colleagues. His furry face was black, framed by white fur. His little top hat was white with a blue band across it. A big teal bow tie was under his neck, over his black furry chest framed by white fur. His wings were a brilliant blue, with black and red mathematical symbols on either side: the pi symbol, E = mc squared, signs for addition, subtraction, multiplication and division, among others. More symbols were visible within his two pointed ears. His teeth were sharp and purple and his long eyebrows were teal. His eyes were purple and sclera white. The angel placed a Rubik’s cube in front of him. “Ha!” he declared in triumph. Read ‘em and weep, boys! Full…whoa…”

He felt himself being transported in a flash of light to the hotel. Part of the science room that the cat had been in was merged with the hotel lobby…posters of the elements, the solar system and Biblical works of art.

“What in Heaven’s name is going on?

Then he brightened when he saw Rotsala. “You!”

“Ah, Core, my old friend,” Stalaro sniffed, his head briefly looking like it was in between antlers from a stuffed deer head on the wall. “You made it.”

“Glad to see you, you son of the sun!” Core said. “I just completed my Rubik’s cube after just an hour.”

The cube vanished as Rotsala looked on.

Core raced over to Rotsala and embraced him in a side hug. The deer-like man blushed. “So, what can I help you with this time?”

Rotsala blinked nervously. “C-Can we snuggle?”

Core laughed. “I mean, seriously, why’d you bring me here?”

“My friend, I’m doing some dirty work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services. If that’s okay?”

“You must be joking,” Core said, laughing nervously.

“I don’t think so,” he replied.

“You thought it’d be a great idea just to pull me out of nowhere? You think I’m some kind of tragic boy?”

“Maybe,” Rotsala sighed, as crying sounds came from his microphone.

“I ain’t doing no dirty work.”

Rotsala appeared behind him. “Well I figured you would be the perfect face to greet and critique the guests at this fine establishment.”

He pointed his staff off toward a stand with vegetable drinks as claps and boos sounded from his staff.

“With your grumpy cat face and love of solitude…”

Core lifted up the corners of Rotsala mouth with his paws. “Aw come on, Al, Don’t forget to smile once in a while!”

His mouth frowned once he let go.

Rotsala walked over to the stand. “Don’t worry, my friend. I can make this more interesting…if you wish.”

He conjured up a bottle of catnip with his finger.

Core stared with wide happy eyes. “What, you think you can buy me with sad eyes and some cheap catnip? Well, you can!” He purred and took the bottle with him.

Coercia, Devil, and Phalla arrived.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Phalla squealed. “Brilliant idea to have healthy drinks!”

“No!” Coercia protested. “This is supposed to be a place that encourages sin! Not some kind of, frilly, Zen, child’s play…”

Core noticed Devil Grit and slid up to him. “Hey cutie,” he flirted.

“Go screw yourself,” muttered Devil Grit.

“Only if you watch me,” Core joked. “Or more likely, Rotsala will watch you.”

Coercia leaned in close to Core. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! You are going to go insane here!” She grinned, her teeth sharp.

“We’re all mad here,” Core replied, sniffing the catnip.

Rotsala walked in, an ever-present frown on his face. “S-so, what do you think?”

Rotsala ran over to him. “This is horrible!” she spat.

“It’s amazing!” Phalla beamed.

Phalla leaned in close between Coercia and Rotsala, embracing them in a hug.

“This is going to be very disengaging,” Rotsala exclaimed. Dubstep sounds emitted from his mouth as he stared around with worry. He stepped away from Phalla. “Coercia, I can’t lose you. We can’t lose you.”

Rotsala changed his light blue suit into a dark blue funeral outfit with a matching top hat. He did the same with Coercia, Devil Grit, Core, Klutzy, and Phalla, who were all wearing black clothing from the early 1900s. Coercia wore a short tan flapper dress and a round matching ladies’ hat. She and Klutzy stared at their outfits in disgust, while Devil Grit, Core and Phalla smiled as they stared at theirs. The room changed, the walls now covered with Voodoo symbols, Christian crosses and deer antlers.

“Take it boys,” Rotsala said. Light spirits appeared and played violins, a piano, and a flute in a sad symphony.

Rotsala sang his reprise to Coercia as they did a slow dance. Coercia looked annoyed but Rotsala smiled.

(“Stalaro’s lament Reprise”)

“You’re on a mission

Your innocence fell

And it’s so dangerous but hey, I wish you well

Yes your blunt protests

Will send you straight to Hell

And I can’t bear to see you banished, or your soul up to sell”

“Don’t bring your life to an end

No matter what you say, I’m still your friend

We all have our wounds to mend

And you’re vulnerable feelings are real, don’t pretend”

“Inside of every angel is love and emotion

They have values and lasting devotion (devotion to God)

While you recruit those around

Don’t be swallowed by the ground

The authorities can retrieve you tight and bound (no turning around)”

“Here above the sky

Spread your wings and fly

They’ll spend a little time

Down at this Haven Ho…”

An explosion rattled the windows. Klutzy saw a door flying toward her face and she broke it in half with a karate chop.

The room and everyone’s clothing returned to normal.

Everyone looked outside and saw a podium in the air, held up by flying metallic eggs. A familiar snake debater appeared.

“Look who it is harboring the striped annoying opponent! We meet again, Rotsala!”

“Do I know you?” Rotsala asked.

Tears came to Anguis’ eyes. “Oh yes, you do! Watch this presentation!”

The eggs danced in the air, singing a song about Sir Anguis trying his best to rule Heaven. He read from notecards. “You all can’t compete with me. Your hotel sucks. I…shall…destroy it…with… my…”

Rotsala giggled and blushed. “Your baby weiner havor?”

Anguis looked up from his cards in anger. “Not like that, pervert!”

Rotsala snapped his fingers. A portal appeared and white tentacles shot out, knocking the podium off balance. The metal eggs knocked into Sir Anguis and he yelled, “Ow that hurt! Show mercy!”

Rotsala used a drop of his blood and the podium exploded in green smoke.

Sir Anguis emerged from the crater, arm shaking, fangs shattered. Rotsala waved a hand and the snake was healed.

“Shoot me with your ray gun,” said a metal egg beside him. Sir Anguis face-planted on the ground.

Rotsala looked on, sadly while everyone else stared, stunned.

“Anyone hungry?” Rotsala asked turning around. “Please don’t make me cook jambalaya. It’s way too spicy and it nearly killed me! I much prefer tea and sugared strawberries, oh the way they melt in my mouth… but anyway, you could say the kick brought me straight into Heaven.”

Rotsala lead the way back to the hotel, the group following him.

“Yes sir, new changes are about to take place. Now…”

Rotsala waved his finger at the lit up sign above the glass, gem-encrusted building on the roof.

The sign changed from “Hazbin Hotel” to “Haven Hotel.”

“Stay tuned.” He finished with low whimpers.

#2PHazbinHotel #heavenhotel #havenhotel #2p

10 notes · View notes

nghtmrsndydrms · 4 years

Text

My theories on the most dreaded? awaited? ending for Lucifer (Deckerstar):

So first, Immortal!Chloe and Unredeemed!Lucifer.

So how will she become immortal?

Some say the ring might help Maze with her search for a soul but I don't think so because that ring holds Lilith's Immortality and I don't think Immortality = Soul?

So if Luci gives the ring to Chloe and gives Lilith's immortality to her then Immortal!Chloe.

Some people say Chloe wouldn't be happy with it because we've already seen Pierce suffer and Lilith chose to give it up because she said and I quote, "it's knowing there is an end that makes the rest of it count" and also there's Trixie. Which is yeah, point, but humor me.

Didn't Pierce regret becoming mortal again? Charlotte died in the first place because he was going to kill Amenadiel to have his mark back he got scared of the possibility of finally having an end even tho that was what he thought he wanted in the beginning and didn't Lilith seem to regret her decision giving it up? When Maze saw her Lilith said she tried something and it didn't work out and when she died Maze presumed she died lonely & alone in her apartment. I think they actually found being immortal 'convenient' (for the lack of better word choice on my part). She's a detective, her life's always in danger, it'll be 'convenient'.

Also, if it's true that Hell doesn't really need a warden anymore (i doubt that tho i think Michael pulled that one tho I'm leaning on my gut feel that there would be changes when it comes to Hell's management soon) and Lucifer is still banned from Heaven then where else would he stay? Earth, right? Because Chloe is his home. So once Chloe dies (again, assuming that Lucifer won't get unbanned from Heaven) our dude would be a Mess™. He'd probably wage a war just to see a glimpse of her in Heaven and Chloe going to Hell wouldn't even be an option 'cause Luci would probably, again, wage a war for Heaven to open its gates for Chloe. So to avoid Unredeemed!Lucifer from waging a war have Immortal!Chloe. (With what army would he wage a war if he's not a King anymore, you ask? He alone would wage it he wouldn't care if he has an army or not the devil is in love and he would fight for her)

What about Trixie? Based on the interview with Lesley (Maze) there's a scene where it gets gory and will make Maze release her demonic side and as a mother herself she felt the pain of the scene and cried during the shoots. I think its either one of the kids dying (Trixie/Charlie) or Dan maybe (Luci drinking from his #1 Dad cup foreshadowing him being a Step-devil?) and Lesly was simply sympathizing with the pain of a parent saying goodbye to their child.

Anyways, if Trixie dies and she goes to Heaven maybe, just maybe, it'll be okay for an immortal to see the dead? Like Amenadiel can carry her to Heaven to see Trixie and still be able to spend her days with Luci on Earth as immortals. If Trixie doesn't and dies in her old age, again, take Amenadiel Airways to have them see each other once in a while. She'll see Trixie and still be together with Luci.

Okay next, Mortal!Chloe and Redeemed!Lucifer.

I think this might be the end they might go with. They might just deal with the fact that Chloe will age, grow old, and die with Lucifer (hopefully with an ageing glamour because then that would be just weird) at her side being her devil shield as long as she's in service as a detective. She'll die as a human sure but if Lucifer's redeemed what will stop them from spending their days in Heaven? Together?

Last one is tricky - Human!Lucifer.

I really can't see Lucifer giving up his 'Devilness/Angelness' to be 'with' Chloe. Some say this is a possibility because it might be a parallel with Lilith and Luci. However, we saw what happened with Lilith (regrets?) and how he reacted when he lost his desire mojo and then when he both regained his invulnerability and desire mojo. He was thrilled. He probably felt "invincible" and worthy to be at Chloe's side (see: "My mojo is the reason I'm useful to her in the first place" he's still insecure they'd probably talk and deal with those issues later on). Still, it's his identity. It wouldn't make sense for someone like Luci who struggled a lot during the entire series asking himself (subconsciously) who/what he truly is (good or evil) at his core for him to give up a very big part of himself.

"But he's in love!"

Yes, he is, but just like they said being in love is about sharing and gives-and-takes not gives-and-gives or takes-and-takes. Also, in their kind of partnership if Lucifer gives it up it would just change everything in their dynamic - no more desire mojo, no more devil shield, simply no more Lucifer's 'Luciferness'. Because, ya know if Chloe's still going to die why not go with just a Redeemed!Lucifer and be her devil shield right?

So in summary the endings might be among these three (ranked based on what I think is the most probable):

Lucifer gets redeemed stays on Earth with Chloe and when her time comes spend the rest of their lives in Heaven.

Lucifer doesn't get redeemed might or might not be the King of Hell anymore (somebody else *ahem* Michael *ahem* might take his place) gives the ring to Chloe and live as immortals on Earth.

Lucifer gets redeemed but choose to become Human!Lucifer (WHY!?) spends the rest of his days with Chloe then ascends to heaven with her when their time comes.

Final thoughts: I can see option 1 and 2 happening? Tbh I think those are the endings I can accept. I can see 1 as the most doable and acceptable (on my part). I just hope that Luci can glamour himself and make his appearance age tho 'cause if they do go on this route Chloe getting older with a constant 30s aged Luci at her side would just raise a lot of eyebrows soon the longer they're together. While 2 might be a bit hard and complicated because like what would they do? Pull off a Pierce and change their identities every 30-50 years because they don't age? Well it can be easy, maybe, since Luci has connections but yeah that's tiring. Then option 3 which some might prefer just doesn't sit right with me. We saw Luci with his issues on Chloe 'taking' his mojo, on his fear with the Silent Killer when he was incapacitated, and how happy he was when got both of his 'arsenals' back (i.e. invulnerability and desire mojo). It just won't make sense with me considering how their partnership works. Also, I think Chloe wouldn't also like Luci giving up such a big part of him just to be with her. I can only see option 3 happening if Luci's given an ultimatum of being redeemed if he lives a life of a human/mortal. But idk man I think he 'lived' as a human (vulnerability issues) enough for me and for all the actions and choices that he made throughout his journey in the series - I think he redeemed himself enough.

okay im done rambling if this gets any attention please be kind lol

#lucifer spoilers #lucifer analysis #lucifer meta #lucifer #lucifer theory #lucifer theories #deckerstar #deckerstar meta #lucifer speculation #lucifer season 5 #lucifer s5a #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #mine

24 notes · View notes

samclownchester · 4 years

Text

The day is June 15 2020

The time is 3 am

The situation is that the world has fallen into a pandemic of Covid-19, and my job closed down in March, leaving me with lots of time on my hands. Despite my doubts, I fell back into Supernatural, deep into it, and I am now rewatching it. I thought it would be fun to try and see how much I could remember from earlier seasons before I watch them all

I have watched up to 1x14 at this point, so those episodes are fresh in my mind, but lets see what else I remember

Season 1

“Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days”

“Saving people, hunting things, the family business”

Sam’s girlfriend dies just like his mom did

Their dad is the point of the season but is only actually in like 3 episodes

Sam and Dean break up but get back together

Sam has VISIONS and moves things with his MIND

Meg is a demon, Sam has a bit of a crush on her

They find their dad, but don’t kill the demon

colt

Season 2

Dean dies in a car crash, John sells his soul for him and dies

Bobby Singer is best dad

Ellen and Jo and Ash exist

Purple Nurple

Gordon?

Lots of psychics! Sam can make friends??

Jk, it’s the hunger games

Sam gets stabbed in the back

Dean sells his soul for him

They kill Azazel I think??

“I have … demon blood in me?”

Season 3

Saving Dean from his demon deal

Groundhog day episode where Dean dies everyday

Gabriel?? (trickster)

Blonde Ruby (let’s hear it for Laurel Lance!)

Very short because there was a writers’ strike that year

Hell hounds

Season 4

Dean was “gripped tight and raised from perdition” by Castiel

Sam has a new gf! (Surprise, it’s Ruby in a new body! :o)

Why does she pretend to not know Dean when he first shows up? Is she lying to Sam about who she is this whole time?? Hmmm I wish I remembered

Time travel?? (Sam doesn’t get to come ☹ )

Demon blood

Demon blood detox ☹

Let’s kill Lilith

“Because it had to be you Sam”

“The boy with the demon blood”

Season 5

Dean is the Michael sword

Sam is messed up, trying to quit demon blood

Cas rebelled, and he did it, all of it, for Dean

Adam Winchester is a person who exists

Also I think this is the season with Jesse the antichrist who never shows up again it’s fine.

He only existed so they could have important conversations about nature vs nurture which honestly they should’ve just saved from when Jack was born but they didn’t know that was gonna happen

More time travel??

Future

Cas likes drugs

Team Free Will

Samifer

Fall into the cage

Dean goes to live with Lisa and Ben

The end?

Season 6

Cas is working with Crowley and spying on Dean but not talking to him like the pining idiot that he is

Dean can’t help but inspect monster happenings in town

Soulless!Sam

Dean finds Soulless Sam

Hanging out with some old dude?

Get Sam’s soul back

Meet Death?

Find out Cas is working with Crowley

O: Ultimate betrayal

???

Season 7

Leviathans

Godstiel?? Why?? Idr

Hallucifer

Please give Sam therapy

Sam goes to an asylum

Cas takes Sam’s trauma??

More leviathans

Dick?

Charlie!

Kevin!

Garth? Did we know him before. Idk, we know him now

Dean and Cas go to purgatory!

When does Cas die and walk into the lake? That’s before they go to Purgatory, right? Hmmmm but how does he come back

Cas is Emmanuel and has a wife? Is that in this season?

Season 8

Dean gets out of purgatory!

But no Cas

Sam had a girlfriend and a dog! Nice!

Not nice, he ignored Kevin and didn’t look for Dean

Like they agreed on, but whatever ok sue him for trying to be happy

Dean has a vampire boyfriend

Not so high and mighty about killing every monster are we now, huh Dean?

Right? I don’t remember, this is a conversation that happens though

He does end up killing Benny though, doesn’t he? huh

Cas is back from Purgatory! But he’s got Secrets ™

“I’m gonna become a hunter”

Then he stays in the old folks home and next time we see him he’s all wacky and likes to watch the bees?

Megstiel

You’re just playing sorry

Am I right?? I don’t remember, but all of this happens at some point

Who even is the big bad? What are we fighting? Idk

Oh we have to save Kevin from Crowley and he reads the demon tablet. Only eats hotdogs, doesn’t shave. I love him please keep him safe.

Spoilers, they don’t

Right! The trials, Sam does the trials, they “purify” him

The angels fall, but Sam doesn’t complete the trials and almost dies.

Season 9

Sam almost dies, Dean is like “right, nonconsensual possession is clearly the best answer for this”

Human!Cas, he drinks lots of water. Steve.

§ “you can’t stay here” :o

Abaddon I think?? What was the point

Crowley is sort of our friend now and I think we meet Rowena? Idr

Kevin dies ☹

“What is the upside to me being alive” – Sam

§ Maybe in this season, maybe not. Who knows?

Cas is a cannibal (eats grace) and becomes and angel again at some point

§ Hannah exists

We all hate Metatron

Cain??

Metatron stabs Dean and Sam puts his dead body on the bed

Demon!Dean

Season 10

Demon!Dean and Crowley are living it up!

Sam and Cas try to cure Dean

Charlie and Rowena interact a lot I think

Book of the Damned

When did they find the bunker? Men of Letters? All that? Idr, anyway they have it at this point

Dean kills lots of people

Charlie dies ☹

Dean blames Sam which is unfair and I hate it

They get the mark off and The DarknessTM is release

Season 11

The Baby episode exists

Really weird sexual tension between Dean and Amara while she’s still kind of a child, no one knows why. Please stop.

Cas gets called expendable and then makes poor life decisions

Lbr, though, Misha is the only other one who can play Lucifer with the same spirit as Mark Pellegrino. Sorry Jared, it’s the truth.

Eileen!! <3

Chuck is God :o

Let’s kill Amara!

Except we don’t kill her, she just needs to bond with her bro.

Here, have your mom back

Season 12

Mom????

British Men of Letters

Lucifer F*cks

Boy I didn’t think this would turn into what it did, let me tell you

Winchesters escape from Federal Prison

Cas says “I love you”

But like, the plural you. No homo.

Sam admits he lost his drive to lead, then finds it again and leads hunters against the dang brits! Hooray!

Oh shoot Lucifer wants custody of his kid!

FIGHT

Fatality – Castiel

Fatality – Mary

Oh no wait she didn’t die she’s just trapped.

Season 13

Jack jack jack jack jack

3 dads, all at various levels of dadding

Actually 2 excellent dads, one dad who is too emotionally damaged to dad but he tries sometimes

Yeah Cas pisses of a cosmic entity. That won’t come back to bite him

Jack just wants to be good

Wayward sisters was not picked up which sucks

Apocalypse world

Rowena is our friend now

Custody Battle!!! Who wins? Not Lucifer

We saved the day! And a ton of people

Literally they made a whole deal of the people being like “We won’t leave our home or our cause” and then they got back to Sam and Dean’s world, didn’t have archangel grace and were just like “meh, actually this place is cool. We don’t have to worry about going back”

Psych! We’re not done yet! Luci wants his kid

And Michael wants his planet

Season 14

Michael! Dean

Jack dies

But it’s ok, we fixed you, just don’t use your powers

Oh shoot he used his power

Nick is somehow alive

In love with Lucifer

Burn his ass!!

Oh Mary disapproves

RIP Mary

RIP Dean being a father, now he’s gonna murder

Hi Chuck, nice of you to show up

Oh no.

Season 15

Chuck sucks

Dean and Cas break up ☹

Sam has visions again

But he’s not psychic, it’s just the piece of his soul inside Chuck

Resurrect your girlfriend! Yeah!!

Jack is eating hearts, but it’s ok, Death told him to do it.

Garden of Eden?

Get your soul back boy!

And cry

Honorable mentions (Aka these happened but idr when)

Sam falls in love with a werewolf and then has to kill her and MAN Jared really brought the tears

AU where Supernatural is a TV show

Finding out Supernatural is a book series and the author is Chuck!

Crowley becomes helpful mostly

Crowley has a son??

Meet grandpa

Ellen, Jo, and Ash die

Bobby dies

literally everybody dies

Kill Hitler

They meet that Jewish guy with the Golem who pretended to flirt with Dean at some point.

Jimmy Novak was a devout man who deserved a lot better than he got

Claire Novak is so cool

She moves in with Jody

When do we meet Jody? She’s just always kinda been there?

Gabriel, I don’t remember anything about Gabriel

The council of the Gods’ happens and then I think Gabriel dies in that episode?? Idr

The Four Horsemen

Death, Pestilence, War, Famine

“You’re not hungry Dean”

I literally do not remember what was happening with these guys

Also, they killed Death, killed a reaper, that reaper became the new Death. I remember when all that happened I just didn’t feel like putting it in the timeline.

11 notes · View notes

dragonshoard · 5 years

Text

@markala5

(Because the thread was getting too long i made a new one // I’m sorry for any typos ;( I’m super tired lol)

I agree with the fact that she is super stubborn. She’s set on not only creating an alternative for the extermination Hell goes through each year but also proving herself to her father and the people of Hell in general. It would definitely be something inherent to angel!Charlie because she aches for people to care about her and people to care about.

She’s definitely developed her own sense of self after all these years, but the problem is that it’s based off of validity from people around her which IS NOT HEALTHYYY. It’s actually really sad. She’ll be her perky self and be immediately shut down by the people around her. She may be willing to brawl, but she’s just as likely to shut down.

Long post is long so I’m putting it under read more

On the thing about apathy. I find it an interesting concept with this world. There is a certain level of Apathy to Hell but its the type where everything is super active and violent, just everyone is super blase about it. There’s the half of hell actively always looking for a fight/power and the other half that just sort of... exists in misery.

As an angel who not only needs people around them but also NEEDS a purpose, it’s an extremely toxic environment. With the system you’re describing... just ow. I can only imagine how many times Charlie has nearly faded and just what needed to be done to get her back.

Like, Vaggie is a recent development (not even 10 years) and there hasn’t been anyone else around Charlie that would function as a support other than her parents, possibly.

(I’m still shocked that Vaggie only died in 2014. She’s super young but comes off as acting like one of the oldest - I genuinely thought she had been childhood friends with Charlie lol)

I’d imagine that instead of fading away, it would be more like she falls into a coma (I need Disney references, she’s literally a Disney princess). And I’d like to think that its more like a self generative state because, again, been established that you can’t exactly die naturally in Hell (or Heaven, presumably). Longest she’s slept would probably me... probably a year? It’s been established that Lilith and Charlie have a close relationship, so I’m thinking that most of the time it’s Lilith bringing her back after the fact and supporting her. There was one time where her father showed he cared enough (the time she slept for a year - he was even nice enough to preen her feathers) but he went back to being mostly apathetic after that (jealousy is no good :/).

Because even people with the strongest sense of self and will power will crash in that environment. Lilith would definitely be her number one supporter until Vaggie (and especially how now Lilith is very busy in canon time), but it wouldn’t be enough (especially when flocks typically have around 10-15 people).

She’d fight for as long as she could. Towards the end of the “cycle” (about to go to sleep) it would be the hardest for her not to sing and her passive song would be the strongest and most violent/desperate (enough that even her Dad can vaguely hear it and typically starts preparing her room). At this point it would be the hardest to keep her angelic features in so she starts isolating herself, speeding up the process. Her song would come out stuttery (imagine the first song in the pilot - constantly singing that one but in between sobs) and she’d try to stay awake but would fall asleep each time.

And when she wakes up her song would be bright, loud and optimistic, determined to break the circle (it never works).

Alastor would have no clue that this happens so the first time she goes through it after meeting him, he is beyond curious. He knows little about angel biology, only bits and pieces he’s picked up over the years. He spends the two weeks she spends sleeping taking care of her and feeling out her (for once) peaceful song.

(I do the same. Making myself sad should be a professional job lol)

Charlie displays steel and passion on her shoulders just as clearly as her insecurities. Alastor was drawn to her from first song, tbh. There was something about it that he found fascinating and when he actually met her she was far more interesting. To be frank though, I’d imagine that initially she reminds him of the type of people he would hunt when he was alive. Meeting her, it would kind of reinforce that because he doesn’t really see her thinking for herself. The more he would get to know her, the more he’d see that she is truly someone born of Hell and the more interesting she becomes to him. She’ll say some things that are so blatantly inhuman that it’ll just make him double take.

She would be an itinerary of knowledge for horrible things (like how to kill, how to torture people, etc) but she doesn’t use or like any of it. It’s just a result of living with her family and in Hell as a general concept. I’m kind of imagining a young Charlie being forced to sit through executions and torture sessions either performed or ordered by her father (maybe even forced to do it herself).

....ok i went on a tangent whoops.

And YES SHE ASSOCIATES HELL AS HERS ALL HERS. This is canon. Actual canon. She doesn’t care about silly turf wars, doesn’t care about who is on whose side. They’re all hers. I remember reading in the wiki that she takes the approach of treating rehabilitating sinners like children. I think this would come in here.

It would kill her to lose so many souls so constantly but, holy hell, she’s also getting just as many people daily so she’s constantly hearing new songs join the already mixed and jumbled song. It would be really distracting and sometimes interferes with her higher process thinking.

But you gotta admit the angel part of her would be super confused at all the killing because, technically, it’s her own kind that’s killing off her people. One half of her would be screaming “WHY WHY WHY DO THIS KIN WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME” while the other half is screaming for blood and respite.

And yeah, being unable to do anything about it and no matter how much her Mom tries to calm her down and how thick the walls of her bunker are, it doesn’t stop her from hearing the screaming and sheer devastation. Coming out after the fact is draining and she spends at least a day or so crying and singing her heart out (her voice practically broken at this point from her own screaming). Her skin would be especially ill-fit but there’s no part of her angel half willing enough to show itself. It’s akin to feeling like you’re swimming in a sweater that’s three sizes too big.

....she is totally a lion. She has the mane for it despite identifying as female xD

Tbh honest, when I first thought of angels in this universe and what not, I likened them to being a species in which you’re one or you’re not. So a hybridization like Charlie is not only rare, but unstable. Her demon and angel halves fight for dominance and, eventually, one half will win and there’s no going back from there. Omg CHARLIE BEING THE FIRST SURVIVING CHILD IS SO SAD. NOOOOO ;((((((

Charlie goes underground during the extermination for a good reason lol. As she gets older, her instincts would severely change. The older she gets (and the more powerful), the more prone she is to fighting back. By the time canon comes around, she has to be chained during the extermination and Lucifer or Lilith have to be there to make sure she doesn’t break out of the chains.

Charlie is aware of this and so she would be terrified af when her friends suggested they get together during the extermination for support. By this point, Charlie is starting to feel more stable and feels that she might actually be able to control herself better with her flock surrounding her.

Alastor probably wouldn’t know about it until he shows up out of nowhere and sees them barricading the hotel and is like wtf are you all doing. He side eyes the chains that Charlie sneaks past her flock. He immediately decides that it would be a splendid and fun idea to join them. Vaggie tries to deny him, but Charlie is quick to agree, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn’t have to be chained.

She sticks close to him when the clock hits midnight and the angels descend. The chains were a precautionary measure and in between Alastor and her flock, she thought that she wouldn’t have needed them but she was WRONG.

Somehow, Charlie manages to hold herself back until an angel shows up at her door. A part of her is whimpering cousin-friend-family-brother-sister while another part of her knew what exactly this meant.and was screaming in the only way she knew how to tell the angel to GO AWAY.

But yeah, they don’t and they get messed up and Charlie ends up revealing her eldritch form to her friends (other than Alastor who has already seen her in this form by this point). Alastor would definitely draw her into a duet to bring her back to herself.

During this Alastor would be so excited to see his angel kill an actual angel. Sadly (to him) they end up getting away. The feathers clenched in her hands were trophies of another kind. He wanted to pin and frame the wing in one of her clawed hands.

But it’s still kind of a horrible moment too because the extermination is still happening and Charlie can still hear and feel her people dying. She’d be crying to tell him to make it stop and all he could really do is sing quietly to her, emphasizing his own song to try and mute some of the carnage.

But if there’s anything Alastor can do, it’s talk and talk about everything but nothing.

FUTURE LA MUERTE/XIBALBA AND ADAMS COUPLE VIBES AHHHHH. I support this so much. I see them in the future as a fairly antagonistic and competitive couple I don’t know why (so kind of like La Muerte and Xibabla xD). They love each other more than anything but, at the same time, they can only handle each other in contained doses. There would of course be the honeymoon period, but eventually when they settle, their personalities and morals combat each other quite a bit. Both of them are unyielding in their beliefs and unwillingness to change so it would cause some clashing.

Can’t live with em, can’t live without em’.

They would be that couple that’s always singing and dancing though, from tango to intense and dramatic songs to slow ballroom. It would annoy everyone around them and Charlie would feel some embarrassment at first but, in the end, absolutely love it.

Lol this was all very very great :DDDDD I feel you. I feel like I’ve written a fic but its great xD

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel charlie #charlastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbinh #origin #markala5 #long post #angel!Charlie

45 notes · View notes

bytemycupcakes · 5 years

Text

v Headcanons for this guy

Okay for obvious reasons, alotta these are gonna revolve around Charlie.

I’m betting alot of these are going to be quickly proven wrong when the pilot comes out

(God I wish we had a name for him)

Gonna be in a readmore cause length

-He’s the son of Lucifers second in command, and thus grew up alongside Charlie

-He and his sister are natural-born demons

-They were very close growing up, both his and Charlie’s parents would always talk about their future rule of Hell

-Its hard to get him to admit that he did always like Charlie- Of course for awhile he thought it was because the adults were always pairing them up

-I can’t say the adults didn’t effect it at all, but he did legitimately like- and soon Love Charlie

-He’s surprisingly kind considering his family- but has his own moments

-He’s quick to loose his temper, though, and it’s very difficult to calm him down when he gets extremely angry

-He’s incredibly protective of Charlie while they’re together, threatning many classmates and various demons that insult her and/or try to harrass her

-Charlie’s already planning her redemtion idea by the time they start dating.

-Charlie takes precautions considering his anger problems. She encourages him to be calm and kind, and tells him to avoid fighting as much as possible.

-He’s surpised how well he does! Every time he finds himself getting angry, or wanting to fight some demon pissing him off, he thinks of Charlie and calms right down.

-Some their peers turn from bothering Charlie to bothering him- He used to be so feared across campus and now he wouldn’t hurt a fly- Literally. They’re calling him weak, saying “the stupid princess is gettin to his head”

-He doesn’t really mind the insults aimed at him, they don’t matter, he’s making Charlie happy, and he’s happy with his choises

-What bothers him is that those who stuck with bothering Charlie.. Got worse about it- It took a bit, but their peers figured out they can’t bother him to piss him off, they have to go after Charlie to piss him off

-And it works. He’s been holding in his anger and getting stressed- He over hears what some classmates are planning to do to Charlie (hint: its really not good)...

-He tried so hard to ignore them. Just go find Charlie.. She’s waiting for you.. Ignore these assholes-

-He fails and ends up attacking them

-Charlie, trying to find him because they had a date planned, ends up seeing this and tries to stop him

-She acts on insinct and jumps in to stop him

-Since he ends up letting out months of pent up anger, he’s in a blind rage...

-He turns on Charlie- Easily grabbing her throat.

-He doesn’t snap out of it and let her go until she’s almost out of air.

-He’s immediately panicing “O-oh my god- Ch… Charlie I’m- A-are you alright…?” he reaches out to help her up- But she shuffles away from him. “D-don’t-! Get- Get away from me-” “Of- Of course… I’m so sorry, Charlie- I shouldn’t have-” She cuts him off, hissing, “This- This is exactly why I didn’t want you fighting. It was only a matter of time before you came after me.” “I-! I didn’t mean- It… was an accident-” She gets to her feet, pushing past him, “Yeah.. sure it was.” She huffs, “I don’t wanna see you for while- Or ever.. Possibly.” “O-of course, Charlie…”

-And thats the last time they speak for awhile.

-He still tries to keep up with the rules Charlie gave him.. Being kind, and avoiding fights as much as possible- He isn’t to great at it but.. Well he’s trying.

-It hurts because he and his family still visit Charlie’s family- He sees her, hears her voice, and knows He’ll never be able to fix what he’s done

-Their families don’t learn why they broke up for awhile, they just know it happened.

-He doesn’t really ever move on- He tries, he really does... But he just.. Can’t

-The occasional demon will recognise him as someone who’s commonly around Lucifer and his family, and will ask him if he knows Charlie, wanting to meet her (and usually other things)

-He’ll answer truthfully, say he knows Charlie. say she’s in a relationship, ect. They never believe the relationship thing, they always think he’s just “trying to keep her to himself”

-This tends to result in him getting in many barfights

-His parents are proud to see he’s fighting more, he’s finally accepting his place as a high demon.

-He ends up becoming Lucifers errand boy. He wanted someone to run small errands and Luci much prefers him over his bitch of a sister.

-Soon Charlie’s opened the Hotel, and Lucifer wants updates.

-Luci sends him to check the hotel every so often

-By the first time he goes there, the Hotel is established enough to have Angel, Alastor, Niffty and Husk.

-Lucifer sent him with flowers to congradulate Charlie and he kinda wants to die

-Really he doesn’t want to do this

-The second he steps in the Hotel, Vaggie’s got a spear in his face, Apparently Charlie didn’t hesitate to tell the others about him. Alastor and Charlie step up behind Vaggie- All three of them are pissed

-Look Alastor may be an antagonist, but even he isn’t cool with what this guy did.

-He explains that he doesn’t want to be here, just as much as they don’t want him here, but he can’t say no to Lucifer

-Vaggie burns the flowers the second they’re out of his hands, not trusting them

-Alastor threatens his life- not only because of what he’s done, but Al finds his smile intimidating

-needless to say, he stops smiling

-He awkardly mentions that he looks up to Alastors work- He.. doesn’t really, but he wants to at least try to get on Als good side

-It really doesn’t work

-He actually really enjoys Vaggie, despite her hating him

-Honestly from his times (being completely ignored) at the hotel, he really enjoys everyone there.. And wishes he were able to hang around them with a legitimate chance at friendship

-Lucifer is intent on getting Charlie to like him again

-He does NOT approve of this- but again: it’s really hard to say no to Lucifer

-He gets his shit together and tells Lucifer why Charlie hates him

-Lucifer laughs it off, “Lilith and I tried to kill eachother hundreds of times before we got married! I’m sure you and her will be the same, give it time dear boy”

-He denies this. He means it. He’s not stepping foot near the Hotel again. He can’t keep seeing Charlies fear and anger every time he steps foot in the building... He refuses to keep putting her through this.

-Lucifer laughs, says something about him gettin his way in the end.

-He’ll keep defending Charlie from a distance as necessary. He won’t force himself back into Charlie’s life. He hopes he’ll move on from her some day, though he honestly doubts he’ll be able to move on from the most inspiring girl he’s ever met.

#Hazbin Hotel #Hazbin Charlie #Hazbin Lucifer #Hazbin Vaggie #Hazbin Alastor #Hazbin Background demons #hazbin hotel headcanons #ask to tag???#MavAu

87 notes · View notes

postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 6 years

Text

Wonky preliminary thoughts

I watched the episode once this morning then I’ve been various degrees of busy and sickly so the episode is sort of nebulous in my mind but I want to throw down the thoughts I remember thinking this morning... on a second watch I could change my mind. Honestly I don’t even know yet what this post is going to be like. I’m gonna make it up as I go. Let’s find out together.

- It’s a finale baby

Okay I haven’t touched my dash but I know my chickens and I know there’s gonna be wank, because people forget that every year when the finale comes out no one likes it. That’s it, that’s the finale, expectations are high because finales are supposed to be epic so people end up disappointed, some things were predicted 8 weeks prior and people complain that they were too obvious, some things were unexpected and people complain they came out of the blue, some people say Cas wasn’t in it enough some people write down explanations why his part was actually meaningful, you know the drill. This has been a typical finale: Dean makes The Sacrificial Decision (having Death kill him, become the soul bomb...) and things don’t just work the way he expected them to (sometimes positively like with Amara, sometimes negatively like with Michael).

I personally expected Dean to let Michael (although until recently I supposed it could be the original version of him) in since 13x15 (the showrunner’s own meta manifesto relatively to the ‘reverse season 5/reverse Swan Song’ nature of the final part of the season) and that it would be about shouldering himself the task of getting Lucifer killed since 13x20 (where he goes after Loki himself and is not enthusiastic about Sam’s revenge intents against Lucifer), and heck the ‘I let you in but you provide the power but I’m behind the wheel’ kind of speech was something I pictured in a thousand scenarios, so I didn’t get any shocks from that part of the episode’s plot, but I still enjoyed how we got there. And then, Lucifer is dead! *celebration noise coming from the fandom*

- Um okay let’s say you did your best

Okay, the impression I got from my first watch: the script worked, but the episode got wonky in its execution. Not even the special effects (insert a wonky gold star for the trying) but I remember being unimpressed by the sound/music? Is it just me? Like, sometimes the sound choices were too over the top? There were also overdramatic zooms but that’s Supernatural, and Supernatural without overdramatic zooms is like Supernatural without the Winchesters.

I liked the recap montage a lot (what do you think came first, Rowena’s line about the music or the idea of having that line inside the season to use it for the finale recap?). I got a bit sad because there was a lot of Wayward Sisters in it, and it would have been better if the finale came in a moment of celebration for it happening rather than anger and bitterness for the CW’s choices. Something I felt missing from the last portion of the season was Jody, but I was obviously okay with it because she was missing in preparation of her role in the spin-off. If we can’t change the network’s decision, I hope next season is packed with those characters.

Anyway, back to the episode - it was weird at times, you all know what times, let’s just run with it and make jokes.

- But in season 5 they said--

No, the act itself of Michael killing Lucifer wasn’t what was going to kill half the planet’s population. It was that act inside the large picture of that spell-like orchestration that was the apocalypse (seals, horsemen, omens, stuff like that). I would argue the large-scale damage that was expected wasn’t an accidental consequence, but kind of the whole point of the apocalypse. I hate myself for bringing it up, but you know Thanos killing half the people to ~save the universe~ or whatever dangerously ambiguous nazi crap that dumbasses have actually fallen for because Marvel is just that bad and dangerously ambiguously conservative? I think that the archangels kind of were similar to that mindset, making a huge sacrifice of humans to bring ~paradise~ because they were tired or whatever. You know, I know some people don’t think Supernatural is particularly progressive, but in the current media climate not framing the mass-murderous, abusive characters with nazi-coded intents as the actual heroes is apparently too progressive for some, so kudos to Supernatural for not making Lucifer or Michael the hero of the story but to stick to common sense and decency. (I know, this part is not about Supernatural but just me being salty at Marvel, but let me, please.)

- So while we’re talking about this...

I can say that what Supernatural did with Lucifer in season 13, in my opinion, has been really good. I’ve never been afraid they were going to ‘redeem’ him, so I wasn’t worried or bothered by the story throwing the tools of redemption at him. Because not only he didn’t pick them up, he couldn’t see them even if they hit him in the face. He didn’t understand what redemption even means. He kept seeing himself as the misunderstood victim, so instead of bettering himself he just felt sorry for himself, and completely missed the point of a ‘second chance’ or whatever he claimed he was after. So, eventually, it was all a lie. I think Lucifer’s “I’ve changed” attitude was partly a schemed lie (because he’s not that clueless), partly something he was convinced of himself, because he has his head up his ass enough to actually believe he was a poor victim. I think this narrative hits the nail on the head - white male fragility works like that, the men wrapped in toxic masculinity and male entitlement think they’re the victims of a big bad oppression from women and queer people and non-white people. But they’re just pathetic, and when the bubble bursts, all they can do is scream in rage and their ‘nice guy’ persona disappears. Lucifer’s 180° change of attitude towards Jack reminded me of the nice guys who start throwing all sorts of disgusting invectives against women after being rejected. So yeah, I think that Lucifer’s arc this season was sort of relevant, if you want to interpret it like this.

Either way, Supernatural, unlike some other pieces of media, doesn’t actually try to make you sympathize with abusive, violent, misogynistic men (unless they actually show to be self-aware and to seek change, and again you aren’t meant to sympathize with their bad side! Toxic masculinity is supposed to be bad, and slaughtering billions of innocents not justified for any reason, and especially does not make you the hero and the ones fighting to save the people the actual villains! *gasp*). There was even a clear dig at Trump, and I am pretty sure that’s Dabb’s answer to accusations of not being clear enough on the subject...

So yeah, I think this season’s big bad was an allegory for white male entitlement and the ‘nice guy’ victim complex, and Dean stabbed him (I’d say with the help of a Black man, sure it’s actually Michael another villain but momentary symbolism, I guess? Or maybe that just isn’t supposed to be relevant.) I felt someone cheer that was still bitter that Sam killed Alastair. You just know someone out there was still bitter about it. I mean it was teamwork, of course, but Dean provided the power and the stab. Oh, Dean letting Michael in to acquire the power to kill Lucifer (who killed Cas and Sam) as a parallel for Sam’s demon blood usage to acquire the power to kill Lilith (who killed Dean) *insert lengthy reflection here*

- Speaking of parallels--

Someone was irked at the apparent belief across fandom that Dean leaving Sam to the vampires in the cave was ~the codepencency being broken~? (I am not a fan of analyzing the show in these terms that have become so simplified, in case you’re wondering.) And of course now we see that that wasn’t so simple, because Dean makes the same face when Sam disappears with Lucifer and Jack, and Cas tries to stop him, but Dean decides to do the sacrificial decision (did he really expect Michael to keep the deal, really really?). But! (I wasn’t saying that things are still stuck in the 10x23 mud puddle, don’t misunderstand me!) This time it’s not just about Sam, it’s about Lucifer being set on really breaking dad’s toys on a large scale this time. Dean Winchester gives up his humanity to save humanity, because that’s his middle name, and not just to save his brother at the cost of harming the universe. Of course Michael is still on the loose and with a stronger vessel now, but hey, one threat at a time... But I also think there’s something significant with the fact that the last sequence of the episode shows Michael on earth, looking in his element and satisfied about it - to stop Lucifer, Sam, with Lucifer inside, went to hell; to stop Lucifer, Dean, with Michael inside... is on earth. Of course, next season he’ll probably be involved with heaven and whatnot, but I think there’s something significant there, but I’d wait to make much meta about Michael-in-Dean when we actually are shown more about it.

- So, overall?

Overall it was a good finale! Satisfying to have Jack discover Lucifer’s true nature and the nice guy lie shatter, emotional the Jack stuff, powerful that we didn’t see Dean actually getting possessed and Cas seeing it but only Cas being fraught about it, just there, kind of like the narrative was telling us, what do you even expect Cas’ face while losing Dean to Michael to look like? Now, this post is long enough and I’ll need a rewatch and some health points more to analyze the details, but I am sure that I’m going to enjoy analyzing them.

- And what now?

Oh, I expect a lot of fanworks of Charlie and Rowena during the hiatus. It’s probably already started...

Alright, more coherent and hopefully meaningful thoughts coming shortly (...maybe) to your screens ^-^

#my spn thoughts #spn spoilers #spn 13x23 #spn meta #spn

133 notes · View notes

belabee · 6 years

Text

I’m Not An Angel: Chapter 3

Chapter 3: To Fly With Me Won’t Be Easy

Rating: Not rated (this will be changing in the next chapter)

Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Past Sam/OMC, Past Dean/OMC

Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Past prostitution, (definitely more to come)

Summary: Sam and Dean run into a blast from the past, and old secrets come to light.

Chapter Summary: Sam and Dean have a little heart to heart.

Author notes: I'd like to thank @daydreaming-scribe for betaing the first 2 chapters for me <3 :* I've uploaded the edited versions and I think they flow better now. I'd also like to thank @teamfreewillbettertogether when I got stuck in chapter 2. I've had a really hard time with writing this past year, despite my best efforts. I've been putting more effort into it lately and hopefully, I'll be able to start posting more regularly. This chapter hasn't been betaed with anything other than my own eyes and Grammarly, so please forgive any mistakes.

Anyhoo… Enjoy?

Read on AO3

The boys trudged into the motel and Sam made his way to where his duffel was on his side of the room as Dean quietly shut the door behind them.

“What’re you doing?” Dean asked quietly.

Sam paused in his task of unzipping his bag. “I...uh. I figured you wanted me outta your hair as soon as possible. I mean, pick a hemisphere, right?” he replied, not meeting Dean's eyes.

God, he hated letting his brother down like this. Just another sin to add to his already long list of unatonable choices.

Not looking harder for Dean when he was in Purgatory. Allowing Dean to think that he hadn't tried at all. Ruby and the demon blood. Lilith. Saying yes to Lucifer. Everything he'd done while soulless. Sticking around when he was obviously a burden with his hallucinations. Getting Charlie involved with the Book of the Damned. Setting Amara free. Getting involved with the British Men of Letters. Trying to drown out his love for Dean by getting involved with other people.

All of them. All of them his choices that got people killed. He had no business loving Dean. He had no right to taint Dean with his affections. Dean deserved better. Dean deserved to be as far away from his impure, despicable-

Sam's internal rant of self-hatred was interrupted by two strong arms wrapping around him. Dean's hands rested on Sam's wrists, halting their task of furiously shoving his belongings into his bag.

“Sam. Stop,” Dean said, gently turning him around to face him. When Sam still wouldn't look at him (Fuck, when had he started crying?), Dean cradled his face in his hands and lifted it to force Sam to look him in his eyes.

“Oh, Sammy,” Dean said, wiped the tears away. “Shhh, it's okay. ” Dean pulled him close, and Sam couldn't help but hide his face in Dean's neck, clutching tightly at his shirt.

Sam choked back a sob, before shoving Dean away. Dean stumbled back a couple steps with a look of hurt shock on his face.

“No, Dean. It's not okay,” he said, angrily wiping the rest of his tears away. “It's not ‘okay’. I'm sick. I'm wrong. Hell, we've known it since day one that something's not right with me.” He stalked away from his brother, furiously pacing the room, grabbing his belongings and throwing them onto his bed. “I've tried to fight this, Dean. I've been fighting this for longer than I can remember. And every time. Every time I break, I let myself be selfish. And weak,” he said with disgust. “And every. Time. Someone gets hurt. Or worse. Dead. ” He spun around to face Dean.

“You deserve better. Even you've said so. Hell if I could, I'd bring Benny back for you. Because you were right Dean. He'd been a better brother to you, then I'd ever been,” Sam's angry tirade petered out as tears welled up in his eyes again at that last sentence.

“Oh, fuck you, Sammy” Dean said angrily. “Don't throw that old shit back in my face.”

“I'm not! I'm just reminding you what's true! We both know Benny had been more loyal, more trustworthy than I've ever been. And then there was the siren.” Sam threw his arms out to his sides, frustratedly trying to get Dean to see reason. “Even the monsters could see that you deserve a better brother.” Sam pushed past Dean to continue packing his bag.

“Sure, we're stronger together. Sure, there's nothing we can't do if we put our minds to it. But that doesn't mean we're better together. You're better off without me. And Cas is back, and Jack is doing fine now that he's got someone to guide him. And who better than the Righteous Man and an angel of the lord to guide his way. Jack would be better off not having the Boy with the Demon Blood to corrupt him. And I can just keep hunting, and you'd be safer, happier-”

Sam was cut off by Dean shoving him against the wall. “Jesus, Sammy. For once in your life just shut the fuck up and listen to me,” Dean said lowly. He rested his forehead on Sam's. “Goddammit, we’ve been through this. None of that shit matters. Come on, Sammy. You're supposed to be the smart one,” he whispered.

“Dean, we both know you're just as smart, if not more than-mmf!” Dean placed a hand over Sam's mouth.

“I thought I told you to shut up,” Dean said, cocking an eyebrow. He smirked when that got him a silent bitch face. “There's my pain in the ass little brother that I know and love.” Sam's eyes widened. “Yeah, Sammy. I love ya. I know I never say it directly. You know I suck at this touchy-feely shit. But hell, Sammy. I thought you’da figured it out when we stopped the trials. I told you, there is nothing, past or present, that I would put in front of you.”

Sam’s vision started to blur again. He shut his eyes tight to try to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. “No, Sammy. Look at me. Look at me, dammit.” He opened his eyes reluctantly. “Now you listen to me, Sammy, ‘cause you know I ain’t gonna wanna say this shit again.” Dean took a deep breath before continuing. “I know these past few years have been a roller coaster of shit - hell, our entire life has been a roller coaster of shit - and I say stupid hurtful crap all the time. But you know how I get when I get scared, when I’m hurting. You know because you know me. And all that shit about deserving better, that’s bullshit. Because there ain’t nothing better for me than you, Sammy. You think I’m mad about you loving me as much as I love you?” Sam gasped under Dean’s hand, eyes wide. “I ain’t mad about that, Sammy. I’m hurt. You deserved better than Seth. And I shoulda done more to protect you from that.” Dean slid his hand away from Sam’s mouth to cup his jaw, touching their foreheads together. “Why the hell didn’t you just tell me?” He whispered brokenly.

“What the hell was I supposed to say, Dean?” Sam whispered. “To be honest, I’ve been trying like hell to just block it out. Just lump it in with all the other nightmares, all the other shit we’ve been through. We both know that compared to everything, compared to Hell, it’s nothing. A drop in the bucket of shit that the universe has thrown at us.”

Dean snorted. “Vivid.”

“Dean,” Sam smiled exasperatedly, and Dean chuckled.

They stood there in silence for a few moments, so close that they were breathing each other's air.

“So… um… did, did you really…um..” Dean stammered out quietly, blushing.

Sam smirked. It wasn’t often that he got to see Dean flustered like this. The little brother in him who wasn't dreading the rest of that question couldn't help but want to relish in it. “Did I what?” he prodded in spite of himself.

“Did you really call out my name when you were with him ?” Dean continued, not meeting Sam's eyes for once. Sam blushed. Damn, guess it had been too much to hope that Dean would have forgotten about that part. “Uhh, uhm, y-yeah,” he replied, looking down.

“Jesus, Sammy.” Dean rasped out and as close as they were, Sam could feel the full body shiver that ran through his body.

“I…I'm sorry, Dean. I really am,” Sam whispered. He closed his eyes, renewed shame fulling him.

“Shh, Sammy. I told you. It's okay,” Dean said pulling Sam closer, wrapping his arms around him. Sam returned the embrace fiercely. “I told you, I'm not mad at you.” Sam closed his eyes and breathed in that nearly forgotten but still familiar scent of home. Of gun oil, and leather, and Dean. “Still, I wish I'd saved it. I'd wanted to,” he whispered.

“I don't think I would've been able to do anything even if you had, sweetheart. It's bad enough I got you mixed up with Seth-”

“Dean, what happened with Seth is on me, not you. I'm the one who decided to taint myself like that. Not that there was much left to taint.” Dean pulled back a little to look Sam in the eyes. “Why do you always do that?” Dean asked, exasperated.

Sam tilted his head, confused. “Do what?”

“That whole impure, tainted thing? You did it during the trials too. Why do you keep painting yourself as less than me?” Sam jerked his head back a little. Surely Dean wasn't that blind.

“Because you are better than me. Always have been. You're noble and selfless. You're stronger than anyone else I've ever known, and the smartest, most beautiful person. Why do you think Heaven chose you as the Righteous Man?” Sam looked down, “I've never been anything more than the Boy with the Demon Blood, trying fruitlessly to atone for everything I've done.”

“God Sammy, for someone so smart, you sure are an idiot sometimes.” Dean cupped Sam's jaw and tilted his face up. “All that shit? Being good, and strong? All of that has always been for you. And I ain't pure, especially not after all the shit we've been through. I don't give a rat's ass what Heaven has to say about that, we both know that their sense of judgment is more than a little fucked up.”

Dean leaned forward, bringing their faces closer, their lips so close that Sam could almost taste it.

“All I've ever wanted was to be the best that I could be, for you. Because to me, you've always deserved the best.”

End Notes: The next one is gonna take a little bit since it's like twice as long as the rest of the chapters and I'm still trying to find a good point to end it XD Plus it'll actually get to the smut and I'm super nervous about that XD I'm also on twitter though I'm not very active: @belabee33

#bela's writing #my writing #writing is hard #wincest #sam winchester #dean winchester #samdean #angst #I'm Not An Angel

1 note · View note

hekate1308 · 7 years

Text

Another Today, Chapter Two

Read it on AO3

Crowley would admit that they hadn’t discussed details when they had made their deal (and quite frankly, he had no one to blame for that but himself) but he was rather sure he hadn’t agreed to his house becoming their base in his coven’s grounds.

But the very next evening, there was a knock on his door and when he went to open it, Charlie Bradbury strolled in, her fairy bluebird familiar perched on one of her shoulders and Dean in his squirrel form on the other.

“Hey, Mr. Crowley”.

“Just Crowley is enough, Miss Bradbury. Gilda”.

The bird chirped.

He looked at Dean.

“Squirrel”.

He glared at him – hardly an intimidating gesture from such a small animal – and, to his surprise, jumped unto his left shoulder in a mirage of the bonded pair in the room.

“Dean said I was right about you not liking Lucifer. Glad to hear it”.

There was an underlying threat in her voice that made him respect her more than he had beforehand.

“I don’t know what he told you, but I am mostly interested in staying alive”.

To his own surprise, he valued his continued existence more than he’d realized.

“As good a reason as any to rebel. At least when you’re scared for your hide you’ve got no reason to betray us”.

“Jesus, Charlie” Dean said, after hoping down on the floor and transforming, “Calm down. He’s on our side”.

Technically he wasn’t on anyone’s side but his own, but he didn’t correct him.

“You’ve never seen Lucifer. His powers...” Charlie shuddered. “I’m just worried, that’s all”.

“It’s gonna be alright. Our family has taken on many bad guys over the centuries”.

He might have underestimated the influence the Winchesters had. Charlie and Gilda clearly looked up to Dean, and his word seemed to be enough for them to trust Crowley, if only warily.

Being chosen to be a Winchester’s witch would be an honour.

Where had that thought come from?

“Let’s get started, then”.

Dean turned to him.

He still hadn’t stepped away from him, and they were close enough that Crowley could distinguish the different shades of green in his eyes.

Not that this was of importance.

“What can you tell us about Lucifer?”

“Why do you think I have any interesting information regarding him?”

Dean shook his head.

“Come on. Guy like you, you probably have a file on everyone you associate with”.

“I haven’t drawn up one on you, yet”.

“Feel ready to begin whenever you want, I ain’t stopping you”.

“Gentlemen, could you quit flirting so we can focus on then monster trying to take over the world for a second?”

Crowley blinked.

Flirting? They hadn’t been flirting. He never flirted. His one night stands knew well enough what he wanted, there was no reason for preliminary rituals.

“Gilda, tell your witch she shouldn’t call the kettle black”.

The fairy blue bird transformed into a pretty young woman a bit shorter than her witch.

“You know as well as I do that no one tells her anything.”

“And you love it, babe”.

So he’d been right about their witch-familiar relationship.

Not all bonds were sexual, of course, although he had always had his suspicions about his mother and Abaddon, and Gavin and Fiona were talking about having children.

“Excuse me if I interrupt this charming display, but you seemed to think time was of the essence”.

“Right. So. Lucifer Pellegrino. What do you know?”

“He arrived here about ten years ago”.

“You had another Supreme then?”

“Yes, Lilith Cassidy”.

Crowley hadn’t been very fond of her either, but as a respected witch, and her occasional lover, he’d known how to get what he wanted from her.

He’d known from the first there was no point in attempting the same with Lucifer. And with his arrival, any interest Lilith had had in Crowley had been gone, as well.

“They started living together; I think she imagined them as the next power couple. It didn’t work out like that. He killed her” he said matter-of-factly.

“You got proof?” Dean asked.

“Of course not. But both her and her familiar burning up during a spell gone wrong... She was always careful, planning every detail. She wouldn’t have risked something like that alone, even though she and Ruby were pretty powerful”.

“At the very least her familiar would have tried to stop her” Gilda said. “We usually do”.

She glared at Charlie.

“It was just once!”

“You wanted to bring Star Trek characters to live”.

“Bones deserves a break with all the saving the crew he does!”

“First of all he does, but we all know what kind of mojo would have been required” Dean said lightly.

“That said, if you ever come across something powerful enough, I wouldn’t say no to young William Shatner crawling out of my TV”.

Crowley was somewhat at a loss, for no coven he’d ever been part of had acted like this.

They seemed less like allies out of safety and habit and more like a family.

“We’re getting off topic again. So he killed your old Supreme?”

“Correct. He then proceeded to take over”.

“And you were all just okay with it?”

“There were... several accidents that year, let’s leave it at that”.

“And that damn mutt probably caused a few” Dean muttered to himself.

“You’re sure you’re feeling alright?” Charlie asked, immediately worried.

“Yeah, like I said, Crowley healed me”.

Her eyes lit up.

“That’s right!”

She turned to Crowley.

“I completely forgot! I was still freaking out about Dean getting hurt, and for all we knew, you might just have been an uninterested bystander, so I wasn’t holding my breath in the first place, and I had a bad night when Dean didn’t come back, and – I’m so sorry, let me do this properly!”

He’d rather have known what “doing this properly” contained before she did it, but before he could moved, she’d drawn him into a tight hug, whispering “Thank you thank you thank you” over and over.

She’d been more subdued when she’d visited before.

“Come on, the poor guy just truly met you” Dean said. “Charlie, I’m pretty sure he has trouble breathing at this point”.

“Oh I’m sorry” she stepped away and Crowley only then realized that, in fact, he had barely gotten any air while she’d squeezed him.

“It’s alright” he said for lack of any other response he could think of.

The simple truth was that he wasn’t used to this kind of treatment.

People didn’t thank him.

People weren’t nice to him, period.

People either left him alone or were scared of him, if he didn’t downright inspire hatred, and he was fine with that.

“So now that you have been introduced to the patented Charlie Bradbury hug, what do you say we move this elsewhere?” Dean asked.

He glanced at him. He couldn’t possibly –

“Your powers extend down into the earth quite a bit. You have a cellar”.

No one else had ever realized that.

Gilda looked at Dean, a puzzled expression on her face.

“It’s there” she said slowly, “but it’s not easy to notice”.

Dean shrugged.

“What can I say, I am just that awesome”.

But none of that explained why Crowley ended up showing them what he had come to call his safe room.

Or how Dean had known it was there.

He’d so carefully shielded it from all detection that not even his mother, who knew his powers the best, had been able to feel it.

“Ah, that’s the reason” Charlie said as soon as she stepped down the stairs, and for a moment, he hoped she’d found an explanation, but instead she just chuckled and pointed to his record player and vinyl records.

“He probably felt the vibrations from those babies. Can’t keep Dean away from music for too long”.

He’d already stepped up to Crowley’s collection. He found himself actually curious what he thought.

“You a jazz guy?”

“I like the classics”.

“Yep, definitely what drew Dean down here” Charlie mumbled.

Gilda threw her a glance. They seemed to communicate through their bond for a moment.

It had always made Crowley uneasy when witches and familiars talked privately in front of him like this, but he didn’t mind when it came to Charlie and Gilda.

Maybe because he could hardly imagine either of them attacking him after that hug.

“This is somewhat more... comfortable than I imagined it” Dean commented.

He had made sure his hideaway was as pleasant as it could be, bearing in mind that he couldn’t have windows.

All his favourite books and movies, a large assortment of Craig, good furniture...

“I actually like it better down her then upstairs. Just how much of yourself do you keep hidden away?”

“That is a rather deep question considering two days ago I had no idea who you were, don’t you think?”

He was surprised that he wasn’t angrier – he was slightly irritated by the question, sure, but nowhere near as furious as he would have been, if Rowena had dared ask the same.

Charlie nudged Gilda. They talked through their bond again.

“Come on, girls” Dean complained. “If it’s important, let us know”.

“Oh, it is, but it doesn’t concern our current problem”.

“Here” he said, stepping up to a file cabinet.

“This is all I have on Lucifer”.

Dean took the file he handed him.

“You could find nothing on him before he came here!? The guy either lived the most boring life imaginable and suddenly decided to become your Supreme, or he has something to hide”.

“And all probability points to the later” he agreed. “But sadly, my contacts couldn’t help me. No one has ever heard of this guy”.

“No one who’s alive, at least” Charlie mumbled.

“Why did your Supreme take him in?”

“Lilith was all about power, and he has more than enough of that”.

“I’d say, if he ordered his familiar to kill you” Gilda said. “What exactly is their relationship like? I love Charlie, but I wouldn’t commit murder if she told me to”.

After a pause she added, “Unless it was justified, of course”.

Crowley smirked before replying, “I’m not sure. I have never been particularly apt at feeling bonds. My mother might know, but she’s sadly enamoured of Lucifer. From the looks of it, I always thought they were like master and slave”.

Gilda made a strange noise that sounded like the human form of a frustrated chirp, and Dean looked furious.

He understood that. It couldn’t be pleasant, hearing about a member of their species being used like that.

On the other hand, it was Michael, and the thought of him suffering didn’t inspire pity. If he was even suffering at all. Maybe he liked doing whatever Lucifer told him to.

But this was more complicated than whether Michael had chosen to become Lucifer’s pet or not.

For centuries, witches had looked down at and dominated their familiars as useful conveniences. Things to channel their magic through. It had taken a long time for them to establish themselves as individuals with rights of their own.

Of course any self-respecting familiar would hate a witch who still believed in this old-fashioned nonsense.

Crowley never had. He had met too many idiotic witches and fiendishly intelligent familiars to even consider it.

He was starting to think both Dean and Gilda were more proof of the power of familiars.

A thrill went down his spine.

“Someone’s at the door. Someone I don’t know”.

“Who is it?”

Crowley concentrated on the spot.

“It seems to be a witch, a young woman, and a familiar... in Moose form”.

“Should have known Sammy would show up soon – he said he just had to finish a case before he and Sarah came along.”

“Wait, that’s your brother?”

He’d collected more information about the Winchesters from the moment Dean had left him yesterday, of course.

“Of course you know his name... And don’t you dare make even one joke”.

“I can’t imagine what about” he deadpanned as Dean, with a glare, transformed to make a point and skipped up the steps to meet his brother.

“Winchesters. Trust me, they’re worth every single nerve they cost you – Charlie’s basically one of them, too” Gilda told him, but he couldn’t for the life of him understand why.

It wasn’t like he and Dean would see much of each other after they had dealt with Lucifer.

#my writings #drowley #witch!crowley #familiar!dean

5 notes · View notes

kathyprior4200 · 4 years

Text

Haven Hotel: That’s Disengagement!

A princess with long black hair walked out from a balcony. She wore a black undershirt with a white bow tie on top. A dark teal shirt, long white pants and white high heel shoes completed the look. Her face was white and teal blushes were present on her cheeks. She was the inverted, antithesis of Charlie, the princess of Hell in a parallel world.

The princess was Caroline Egnam, born and raised in Heaven…though she was not at all one would expect her to be in such a place. Self-entitled and pessimistic, nothing much could cheer her up except heavy metal music, rebelling against the rules and the occasional brawl.

“It’s inevitable that all those imperfect angels will go to Hell. They deserve to deal with suffering and challenges. Best of all, they wouldn’t be bound by social expectations. Heck, I wouldn’t be too surprised if it were me. I do enjoy my comfortable life here, just not these restrictions.”

Her servants Pub and Chub were fat white cherub angels with horns on their heads, black wings, and black eyes. One held an electric guitar while the other shot out torpedoes from a small cannon.

Outside was a white clock tower standing tall against the blue sky. The numbers read 0 then changed to 365 days. Writing above the numbers read “days until the next cleanse in Hell.”

Caroline leaned against the marble balcony and began to sing in a low growl.

(“I’m Always Evading Shadows”)

“At the end of the journey, there’s suffering

Denying it, how often I’ve tried

But my life’s a disgrace

Just a slap in the face

And the harsh truths have all been denied”

“A sliver of despair in this world of light

I know this world’s not free of sin

I search for the good

But get misunderstood

And reality will always win”

“Why have I always been so imperfect?

Lost in this brainwashed sea

I wonder if the world’s to blame

I wonder if it could be me”

“I’m always evading shadows

Trapped, drowning in the social flow

Free-will forbidden, my answers are hidden

Lying down below”

“Some people sugarcoat their speeches

I always blab out what I mean

I may be cruel but I am no fool

Things are never what they seem

Believe me”

“I’m always evading shadows

Waiting for people to awaken

In vain”

“Another successful purge,” their leader Samael praised. “You cleansed more sinners while still keeping the population in a good balance. Well done, all of you.” He cleared his throat and made a cross symbol over his heart. “For the greater good in the name of our Lord.”

The angels repeated the phrase.

“Until next year. Dismissed.” The Archangel soldiers saluted and then flew off separately to see their families.

All around Caroline, Holy City was basked in a heavenly glow. The city was located up in the sky among the clouds, but no one had to worry about falling, even the ones without their wings out. A large church with the appearance of the Notre Dame Cathedral stood proudly in the city square, made of polished marble. Choirs and songs floated through the stained glass windows as the regular angels went in and out to pray and visit with their neighbors. A large fountain sprouted non-alcoholic wine of a golden color. It had a white statue of Mary and Jesus as a young boy at the top, both with welcoming faces.

This version of Heaven was very similar to the Heaven in the realm next door, the one above the familiar Hell with the Hazbin Hotel. Unlike those angels with their blonde hair and red blushes, these angels most often had black hair and teal blushes on their cheeks. Like in the other Heaven, some of the bipedal angels displayed animal-like characteristics: some had heads of doves, others had swan wings and mannerisms. Many of them had fur, ears, and fluffy tails of dogs and wolves. It was the only place where dogs and cats could dance and prance together without conflict. Still a few others had faces of flowers or even objects like harps and musical instruments.

God’s Palace was the grandest place of all: it was settled at the highest point of Heaven like Mount Olympus. Only a few angels were allowed to visit there. Seraph angels with six rainbow wings guarded the throne of God as well as the outside of the palace. There were rumors that in the palace gardens, the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge were grown there, heavily protected.

Lucius and Lilian were Caroline’s parents, those who took the place of Lucifer and Lilith after they were banished. They were named the new king and queen of heaven, thus Caroline became the princess.

Lucius had a white face, teal blushes on his cheeks and short dark hair. Lucius wore a gray suit with a dark blue bow tie and a black top hat with two white features attacked to the brim. Lilian’s hair was long and black, and she, too had the teal blushes and typical angel features. She wore a golden halo crown and an elegant white dress. Both had white wings which could turn black when they were angry or defensive.

Along the street, a red car stopped beside the sidewalk. A tall creature opened the car door and stepped out. The spider angel had a furry dark gray face and body, plus multiple slender arms: six in total. He wore tall boots, green gloves and a shirt with a white bow-tie near the top. His shirt and sleeves had black and dark green stripes. Green dots resembling eyes were located under his eyes.

“Thank you for the ride,” said the spider angel.

“No problem, Devil Grit,” said the driver Travis, a white furry guy wearing a top hat.

Devil walked over to a vending machine and bought himself a granola bar. He then gave it to a homeless guy leaning against the wall.

He walked inside a building and onto a stage in an auditorium. His opponent was already standing nervously at his spot, a microphone rising from the ground and stopping in front of him.

Pentious Senor was the nervous white snake. He had a white face with large slightly teal eyes with white pupils. He wore a white bow tie with a blue circle in the center below his thin neck. Surrounding his face on a flap of skin were bright teal eyes against dark purple. His suit was light gray with dark purple vertical stripes. Finally, he wore a large light gray top hat with a large green eye moving eye in the center.

The crowd settled into their seats and the debate began.

“Those other brave do gooders will do great with helping me with my presentation. Anyone want to try?”

A couple of hands shot up. Mechanical eggs on robotic legs moved around to help out the white snake lord.

Senor pushed a button and a presentation showed up on a screen titled “Heaven Economics and Invention Ideas.”

“I don’t like to fight,” Senor said, “and I’m super nervous up here…”

Devil Grit glared at his cowardly opponent who then yelped, “Don’t look at me like that!”

“Heaven doesn’t need any future technology,” Grit argued, “because we already have better things: friendships, food, and fun.”

Pentious Senor glanced down nervously at his note cards and read from them. “At this rate I will persuade the entire East end of Holy City by night’s beginning. And nothing, not a single beauty in this paradise of bliss, will be able to change my mind or escape the constrictive grasp of persuasive argumentation.”

“Heaven will be ours, though it’s mine in my mind. And everybody will know the name of…”

“Scared Snake,” said a female voice.

“W-who said that?” Senor asked.

“You ready for a debate, old man?”

“You want to go, madam?” Pentious Senor asked. He flicked his hood back. “Well, let the battle for tenure and status begin!”

A neon logo appeared on the screen, saying “Divine News” surrounded by a halo. The names of the news cast appeared on the bottom of the screen.

“Good afternoon, Holy City!” said a woman with short black hair, wearing a light blue dress. “I’m Catie Carejoy.”

“And I’m Ron Wrench,” said the man next to her, wearing a business suit and who had a wrench for a head.

After discussing the weather, various humane societies, and legends on Earth, Catie continued, “The debate battle is underway between inventor and conservative coward Pentious Senor and professional economics expert Berri Blossom. Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of His Majesty Lucius, who’s here to discuss her brand new passion-project! All that and more after the break!”

Inside the break room, Agatha adjusted Caroline’s white bow tie. Nearby, a blue tinted sign read “No smoking.” Another sign read “In The Air” in large letters.

“Okay, you remember what to say?” Agatha asked Caroline.

“Yes, I’m ready,” Caroline stated.

Agatha brushed her long black hair from her face. Like Vaggie in Hell, Agatha’s thick hair extended down to her legs, giving her hair the appearance of moth wings. She had a green cross over her right eye and her left eye was purple with a white pupil. A teal bow was perched on top of her head. Her skin was dark gray and she wore a dark gray crop top with white xs over her breasts. She also wore leggings, her right legging striped dark green and light gray, her left legging light gray.

“Oh this is gonna be great!” Agatha said happily. “How about you make your speech sound more exciting?”

“Come on, Agatha, I know what I’m going to say,” Caroline answered, crossing her arms.

Agatha walked over to the pitcher of ambrosia punch on the table. Pub and Chub ate bagels from the table. Agatha got an idea. “Oh! What if you…”

“Sing a song about it?” Caroline asked, with a roll of her eyes. “I’m not going to. This is serious!” She curled her hand into a fist and brought it down on the palm of her other hand. “They won’t take me serious if I start belting out some random song. Life isn’t a musical.”

“But neither is it an emo tragedy,” Agatha pointed out. “Life is great, especially with all the cute guys around.” Her single purple eye shinned.

“Romance, bleh,” Caroline made a face and Agatha giggled.

“Hey,” Agatha brightened, pulling out a piece of paper. “I have some ideas about what you could say.” She bounced up and down. “The highlighted bits are the best parts!”

“They’re all highlighted,” Caroline replied, scanning the paper. “You call your childish drawing your ideas for me?”

“Sure!” Agatha said. “Look here.” It showed a list of different terms “sinners = winners” “Misunderstood are still good” and “demons and angels party between worlds!” Skulls were lined up at the bottom of the page: “we’re all connected by death.”

“Say, that’s actually pretty good!” Caroline said with a smile of sharp teeth.

“Thanks!” Agatha beamed.

Caroline snatched the piece of paper from her friend and tore it in half, much to her shock. “But you should know my ideas are always better.” She tossed the pieces of paper aside, gave a salute and walked out the door.

Catie waved with a smile. “Hello, Caroline. I’m Catie Carejoy.” She held out her hand but Caroline didn’t take it. Catie continued, pulling her hand back. “So this project of yours, when did you come up with this idea of creating a hotel in order to…break the law as the rumors say?”

The angel crew murmured nervously.

“I’m gonna keep this short,” Caroline said. “You might think my idea doesn’t hold water, but that doesn’t matter to me. I’m too influential to give a flying feather about what some news lady thinks of my proposal.”

The crowd gasped. Ron shook his head.

“Well, if you can’t take constructive criticism and be polite…”

“…and we’re live!” called a voice as a buzzer sounded.

“And we’re back!” Catie said, rushing over into her seat. “So, Carrie…”

“It’s Princess Caroline Egnam,” said Caroline, sitting in a chair beside her and Ron Wrench.

“Sorry. So tell us about your project.”

Caroline took a deep breath. “As most of you know, I was born here in Heaven, and growing up, I’ve always tried to see the good in everything around me. But recently, I don’t believe that’s always the case. We just completed another Extermination. So many sinful souls lost but for what reason? God said in the Commandments “thou shall not kill,” yet killing random people is okay? If we can’t even trust ourselves with our actions and thoughts, is Heaven truly paradise? Not to mention that ever since Lucifer and Lilith betrayed Him, we don’t know who to really trust. Some people are given too many chances!” She pounded her fist on the desk, startling Catie.

Caroline stood up and made her way forward. “No one is truly flawless. Mistakes are made, but we get blamed for doing things we sometimes enjoy. Sex, drugs, partying, swearing, even violence. All because we don’t live up to standards imposed upon us, both here and on Earth! I can’t stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such lies and propaganda! So, I’ve been thinking…isn’t there a more liberating way to hinder forced compliance here in Heaven? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to express change through…recreation?”

The angels talked quietly amongst themselves. Aggy nodded in appreciation.

“Well I think yes,” Caroline continued. “So that’s what this project aims to achieve.” She walked back to the desk and sat down. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m opening the first of its kind, a hotel that encourages moderate amounts of so-called sin!” She spread out her arms.

The audience stared in stunned silence. Many of the adults were shaking their heads.

“Who is that girl?” asked a dragon watching from inside a soup kitchen. “What’s her deal with trying to cause more trouble for this world?”

“She’s nuts!” added another angel with an eagle’s head and wings, wearing a suit.

Caroline added nervously, “I figure it would serve a purpose…a place to work toward self-expression. Yay.”

Among the crowd of angels watching the news outside, a tall man with a thin pale brownish face stood toward the back. He wore a light blue dress suit, had blue and white hair, fluffy deer-like ears, and large blue eyes. He watched the program with a look of worry. A deer creature made of light appeared beside him. A sign posted on the wall showing the same man as a DJ read: “Counseling and good times with the Techno Angel!”

A camera man shook his head at Caroline. Agatha walked up to him and said, “Please give her a chance.”

Caroline sighed. “Look, I know every single one of you has insecurities and issues that need not be bottled up. If you could just embrace those sides of yourselves…”

Caroline then smirked. “Maybe I’m not getting through to you.”

Agatha clapped her hands and “ooohed” in excitement as Rub and Chub got the electric guitar ready.

Caroline showed a pair of sharp white teeth and black horns emerged from her head. Black feathery wings sprouted from her back and an X appeared over her right eye. A harpoon appeared in her right hand and blue curved horns emerged from her wavy black hair. She posed over the desk and began.

(“Inside of Every Angel is a Monster”)

“I have a dream

I’m here to tell

About a fantastic mind-blowing hotel

One of a kind, go and yell

A great place to dwell

Catering to specific clientele”

*Guitar starts and scream vocals*

“Inside of every angel is a monster

Inside of every do-gooder is a sinner

Inside of every jolly go-lucky mentality

Is a subconscious portion that’s always dimmer”

“Resist all the rules

You’re not passive fools!

With just a little time

Down at the Hazbin Hotel!”

“So all you rescuers, priests, and heroes

Gifted athletes, jocks, and cheerios

And the sheep citizens, relief is here!

All of you angels, leaders, and stars

Traditionalists with fancy cars

And the activists on Mars

Show no fear

No taboos, no laws

Embrace your flaws

You’ll be truly free

Check in with me

It’s the right path, you’ll see”

“There’ll be no more pressure

And no more status quo

Just friendship, fun, and endless bags of dough

Establishment put to rest

You’ll be like, “Yes!”

Once you check in with me!

“So all your hierarchies, GMOs, politics, and isms

Lectures, labor standards, and diamond studded prisms

Ancient Indian elitisms

All must die”

“All you fantasizers, artists, servers, and lords

Spoiled children, winners of awards

Imposers of chores

Face your fear!”

“Be who you are

And you’ll go so far

Our service will raise the bar

You’ll be the star

Come from near or afar at the Hazbin Hotel!

Yeah!”

“Wow,” said an angel in a top hat. “That was…alright.”

The crowd clapped half-heartedly.

Catie shook her head. “What in the Nine Circles makes you think a single denizen of Heaven would give two feathers about becoming a bad person? You have no proof that your little experiment even works! You want people to disobey God and the rules just…because?!”

Caroline lifted up her head. “Well, we have a patron already who believes in our cause.”

“And who might that be?” Catie asked.

“Oh just someone named…Devil Grit.”

“The grumpy old spider?” asked Ron Wrench.

“He’s not old,” argued Catie. “He just acts older than he is.”

“Anyway,” said Catie to Caroline. “You couldn’t even get that guy to do something bad, even if a gun was pointed at his head.”

“Oh I beg to differ,” Caroline argued. “He’s been troubled, dirty, and having conflicted thoughts for two weeks, now.”

“Breaking news!” called a voice as the screen changed to a recent debate shown in a building.

The news came on, detailing Devil Grit and his recent TED talk about the 7 Heavenly Virtues.

“Well, it looks like the one discussing the Heavenly Virtues is none other than…conservative Devil Grit! What a coincidence!”

She and Ron did a “ratings!” and jazz hands.

“Don’t look at this!” yelled Caroline, waving her arms from behind the screen.

“I’m sorry to say, but it looks like your plan’s departed on arrival,” said Catie. “I hope you learned a good lesson here.”

Caroline’s eyes twitched, her teeth barred. “Lesson?! I’ll teach you a lesson, bitch!” The princess and Catie fought fist and claw on the desk. Ron called for security.

After Caroline was kicked out, Agatha followed her wordlessly to the white limo. Devil Grit, Agatha, and Caroline rode back to the hotel.

Devil Grit lounged in the far seat, wearing an outfit of black with green stripes and green gloves on his four hands.

“Devil,” said Agatha with concern. “I know you were trying to do good by doing your professional speech. But could you please try not to help society in public? Now people won’t believe us when Caroline says that people are free to express their earthly desires.”

“I’m sorry Aggy,” said Devil from the other seat, “But I have a reputation to keep up. Helping the greater good is His plan for all of us. Besides, a good professional debate is a reasonable form of self-expression right?”

“Not to everyone,” said Agatha. “What about the hotel? People are thinking that you don’t care about Caroline’s project at all.”

“I do care, senorita,” said Devil. “I just don’t think it’s going to be easy to accomplish in such a short time. So many angels are fixated on tradition, myself included.”

“I do appreciate all of your help,” said Caroline, still fuming after the interview, arms crossed. “But I will make this project work, even if I have to do it myself.”

The white limo pulled up in front of the hotel, a pristine building made of glass and marble. The group got out of the car and stepped inside.

White wings made of rainbow scales posed as part of the structure on the roof. The stained glass windows by the door were decorated with apples, a tree of life, and many shades of blue and green. The sign above read “Hazbin Hotel” in big letters on the roof. Inside the lobby, a painting of Adam reaching toward God was displayed on the high ceiling. The hotel had seven floors with seven rooms on each floor. There was even a lab down in the basement which belonged to a frog man named Terry, the opposite of the demon fish scientist Baxter from Hell. A bowl of blue berries and blue raspberries sat on a table below a welcome banner. Aggy rested on a couch while Devil Grit munched on a granola bar.

“It’s probably a good idea to stock up some more food in this place,” said Devil Grit. “Good or bad, people always seem to be greedy when they’re hungry.”

Devil Grit pulled out a chart and went over probabilities and graphs regarding the hotel and the potential number of visitors. Caroline just sighed and walked away toward the door. She went outside and took out her cell phone, calling her mom.

“Carol cakes!” called her mother through the phone. Caroline cringed.

“Mom, I told you not to call me that! I’m not a little kid anymore.”

“Sorry, I can’t help it,” said Lilian with a giggle. “How was the interview?”

“Meh. It was alright. I proposed my idea, but nobody seemed to buy it.”

Lilian’s tone turned more serious. “Caroline, why do you insist that everyone must go down to that horrible place? Why can’t you just see the good in people?”

“Because,” Caroline said, “Everyone has flaws and they don’t realize it.”

“Yes, but that also applies to you, too. Before you get involved with the lives of others, you need to look inside and critique yourself.”

“I’m a princess. Everyone else has more flaws than I do.”

“And what is this “higher purpose” anyway? To be His flock of dazed sheep, dancing around without any care in the world? To not experience ecstasy and adventure, even for just a moment?”

“That stuff is dangerous and forbidden. Thousands of souls would do anything to get up to this highest level of Heaven. And you just want to throw your afterlife away?”

Caroline paused in thought. “If it means proving myself and serving Him in a way I see fit, then so be it.”

“You have delusions of what entertainment and happiness is, Carol. Sometimes, you need to take the time and appreciate the beauty that’s in front of you.”

“Other than my own refection, I don’t really see beauty in many other things. Well, metal and watching battles…oh and tragic poetry…”

“You have a lot to learn, dear daughter,” Lilian replied. “I’ll leave you alone to think about it.”

“Whatever.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

Caroline hung up and went back inside, shutting the door behind her. She leaned against the door frame, closing her eyes in frustration…trying to hold back a stream of tears.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Two knocks, followed by five fast ones. Caroline got up and turned around to answer it. She swung the stained glass door open. From outside stood a man with a pale face, wearing a light blue pinstriped dress coat. A white upward cross was part of the design on his blue undershirt. He was carrying a modern microphone atop a staff in his left hand. His small antlers were white and his hair and deer ears were blue with white tips. He wore glasses as well. Caroline narrowed her eyes.

“Hi, excuse me…” he spoke quietly. “Is this…”

“Fuck off!” Caroline spat, slamming the door in his face.

She opened it again.

“…the right address?” finished the man.

“No!” she shouted, slamming it again.

“Hey Aggy!” called Caroline.

“What?” her friend asked.

“The crybaby Deer Man is at the door!”

“What?!” she asked, blushes appearing on her cheeks.

“Who?” asked Devil Grit.

“What should I do?”

“Well…let him in!” Aggy said, eye shining.

Caroline rolled her eyes and scoffed. She sighed and opened the door again.

“May I talk now?” the man asked.

“Sure, whatever,” Caroline said.

The man held out his white gloved four-fingered hand and smiled. “Stalaro, it’s a pleasure to meet you, miss.” He walked in. Worry was etched on his face. “I saw your interview on the picture show and I was worried sick! I was afraid you were never coming back after your argument. I haven’t been that upset since the 1929 Stock Market Crash!” He sniffed, “So many orphans…”

“Hello there!” Aggy called with a smile, staring up at him and walking in front of him. “I’m so glad you’re here to help out my friend with this new hotel! I’m a big fan of yours and just being in your presence is just…” She swooned. “Oh just take me already you cute, pompous, talk show, blueberry pimp lord!”

Stalaro gave a nervous laugh, “Dear, I’m mostly into guys but I appreciate the sentiment.” He conjured up a strawberry in his hand and popped it into his mouth.

Aggy deflated a little.

“But if I wanted to take anyone away…they would be gone already.”

Stalaro tilted his head. His blue eyes briefly glowed with blue upside down radio dials in them. Electricity sparked around cyan colored voodoo symbols in the air. His eyes filled with tears, tears spilling down his pale brown cheeks.

Aggy watched in bliss, while Devil and Caroline rolled their eyes at the show-off.

Stalaro shook his head and his eyes returned to normal blue.

“No, I’m here because I want to relax and help out.”

“Say what?” Caroline asked, eyebrow raised.

Stalaro held up his staff which glowed blue. He said with a sad crack in his voice, “Goodbye, is this thing off?”

He tapped it. A blue sad looking eye appeared in the center of the microphone. It spoke in a mechanical voice. “You’re silent, quiet and unclear!”

“That’s your motivation motto every day?” Devil Grit asked, crossing his four arms. “Pathetic!”

“Tragic and mysterious, I love it!” Aggy squealed. “It’s like the opposite of announcing. It’s denouncing.”

“Um…you want to help?” Caroline asked.

Stalaro appeared behind them after morphing into light.

“With…” he spoke in her growl then his normal shy sounding voice, “…this random thing you’re trying to do. This hotel. I want to help you run it, if that’s okay.”

“Uh…why?”

Stalaro choked a bit on his words. “Why doesn’t anyone do anything? Sheer absolute lethargy! I’ve been partying around and keeping busy for decades. I would like to do something more relaxing and easier.”

Aggy wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Stalaro blushed uncomfortably. “Please don’t hurt me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it!”

He gently pulled her off him. “My work became overwhelming, lacking focus. I’ve come to crave a new form of disengagement!”

Caroline rolled her eyes. “Does getting into a fist fight with a reporter count as disengagement?”

“No,” Stalaro said. “It’s violent and messy, not really my thing. Life is truly strange…reality, fantasy, true tragedy. After all the world is a grave, and the grave is a world of disengagement!”

Caroline brightened a bit. “So, does this mean you think it’s possible to taint an angel?”

Stalaro sniffed and held up a hand. “Who knows? Anything’s possible. Sinning, oh the vice of humanity! I think there’s plenty left that can change such do -gooders. But then again, the chance that was given to them was the life they lived before. The reward is this!” He spread out his arms. “According to God, there’s no undoing what is done…or at least that’s the way it should be.”

“So then, why do you want to help me if you don’t fully believe in my cause?” Caroline asked.

Stalaro turned around to look at her. “Consider it an investment in ongoing knowledge for myself and others.” He let out a small smile. “I want to watch the blessed of this world struggle to give into temptation, only to repeatedly realize and raise themselves toward the golden ladder of success!” His eyes glowed blue.

“Right…” Caroline began.

“Yes indeed,” Stalaro said, both of them walking off to the side. “I see you taking risks and who better to keep you grounded than I.”

“Ah, so what’s the deal with Mr. Frown over there?” Devil Grit asked.

“Wait, you’ve never heard of him before?” Aggy asked, blushing. “You’ve been here longer than me!”

Devil shrugged his shoulders.

“The Techno Angel, one of the most complex beings Heaven as ever seen?”

“Eh, not big on certain politics and the arts.”

Aggy sighed and leaned in close to explain.

“Decades ago, Stalaro manifested in Heaven, seemingly in one day. He began to catch the attention of overlords who had kept to themselves for centuries. That kind of attraction and magic power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his adventures all throughout heaven just so everyone could experience some joy, tragedy and emotions. Do gooders starting calling him the Techno Angel, (as unoriginal as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world’s most ancient and constructive heroes. But one thing’s for sure: he’s an unpredictable source of silliness, a depressed spirit of mystery and a loving being of order…or disorder, the likes of which we can get involved in, especially if we want to end up aroused!”

“You done?” Devil asked. “He looks like a blueberry businessman. Or a shady con-man.”

“Well, I trust him completely!”

“Do you blindly trust any man? All men?”

Aggy skipped over to Caroline. Stalaro examined a family portrait of Lucius, Lilian and a young Caroline in the center. Young Caroline wore a white dress with a turquoise top to it. Her hair was jet black, braided in black barbed wire, her cheeks had teal blushes. Her mother had long black hair and wore a fancy white dress and a round gold crown. Her father was dressed in a dress suit of white and blue, with blue and black stripes in the center below a white bow tie. He wore a large light gray top hat with a dove and a green apple on it. His cane also had a green apple on the top. Both of them were smiling, showing rows of sharp teeth, white wings folded behind them.

“Caroline, listen to me, you can believe this dreamer. He isn’t just a sad face. He’s a miracle maker, pure good! But… don’t count on him to believe in your cause. He could be tainted and rebel, but we don’t know that. He could very well side with God and your parents. And he’s most likely looking for a way to hinder everything we’re trying to do if it means following God’s rules. But still, give him a chance. He’s really sweet.”

“I…” Caroline began. “…we don’t know that. Look, he’s a crying bitch, and he probably doesn’t want to change.”

Aggy put her hands on her friend’s shoulders.

“The whole point of your hotel is to give people a chance! To have faith things will be better and people can embrace their flaws! How can you turn someone away? You can’t. It goes against everything you’re trying to do. Everything you believe in.”

Caroline looked downcast. Her friend had a good point. She hated when people made good arguments against her. But it also gave her a chance to consider her thoughts. Aggy kept her grounded and added some cheer to her overall fake afterlife. Caroline smiled at her.

“You take care of yourself,” she said to Aggy.

“Caroline,” warned Aggy, “Unless you are serious about responsibility, do not make a promise with him!”

“Don’t worry,” said Caroline. “I learned one thing from my dad.” She mimicked his low voice, “Ya don’t break trust with other angels!”

Caroline marched over to the Techno Angel.

“Ok…so Stal... You’re prissy as fuck, and you clearly see what I’m trying to do here is a too-dangerous risk. But I don’t.”

Glowing blue symbols briefly appeared around a concerned Stalaro, then vanished.

Caroline continued. “I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be flawed. After all, it’s in their nature and the sooner they realize it, the better. So, I’m taking your offer to help. On the condition there be no lessons or lovey-dovey speeches made.”

Stalaro twirled his cane and held out his smallest finger from his right hand.

“So, it’s a promise, then?”

The room was surrounded by a pink aura as light spirits roamed around the walls. The wind blew against Aggy’s and Devil’s faces.

“Nope!” Caroline yelled, holding out her hands. The energy stopped. “No shaking, no promises! I…hmmm…”

She paused in thought.

“As Princess of Heaven and heir to the throne, I hereby order that you help out with this hotel for as long as you desire.”

A moment of pause…

“Sound fair?”

“Fair enough,” Stalaro said with a slump of his shoulders and walked on. His cane vanished. Caroline did a thumbs up.

Stalaro stopped and spotted Aggy to the side.

Aggy went up and tickled him under the chin, much to his dislike.

He pushed her arm gently away. “Frown, my dear. You’d be too fully dressed if you were a man.”

He walked on, Aggy perplexed at being rejected. “Why does he have to be gay?” she mused, sadly. “Liking nude men…oh I could just swear right now…darn.”

“So…where is your hotel staff?” Stalaro asked Caroline.

“Uh well,” Caroline began. Stalaro peered at Aggy through his monocle below his left eye.

He stuttered. “You’re going to n-need more than that.”

Stalaro walked over to Devil Grit, who was sitting on a stool.

“And what can I do, my business fellow?” asked Stalaro walking over to the dark furred spider, blushing.

“You can suck a dick,” Devil retorted in a grumpy tone.

“AH! Ok,” said Stalaro, blushing and stepping back. “Can it be yours?”

“Fuck off,” Devil added, pulling out a long knife from his belt.

Stalaro summoned his cane. “Well this just won’t do. You want others to cause trouble, yes? I suppose I can cash in a few favors to deaden things up!”

He snapped his fingers and the wall beside the fireplace cracked. The circle went dark, the fire going out. Ice cold water appeared to fill in the circle and a shadowy figure solely formed inside. Stalaro walked over and removed the dripping figure from the water. A large single purple eye was revealed.

Devil, Aggy and Caroline peered at the creature. With a balloon deflating sound and a puff of white smoke, the figure was revealed.

“This little sinner is Klutzy!” Stalaro announced with a worried smile, dropping the figure.

A black-skinned short cyclops female landed on her face on the floor. She stood up with a grumpy look on her face. She wore a dark green skirt with a white stray cat off to the left side. Her arms and legs were white and stick-shaped. Several blue dots stood out from the lighter green color of her skirt. Her shirt was black with cyan paint spots off to the right. Her large eye took up much of her face; it was purple with a white pupil. Her sharp teeth were black. Her short hair was teal with a dark blue spot off to the left.

“I’m Klutzy,” she grumbled, clenching her fists. “It’s a waste of time to meet you fools. It’s been a while since I made new rivals.”

Her pupil narrowed from side to side.

“Why are you all men?” she asked. “Have any women here? Or video games? Screw this place.”

She briefly picked up Caroline, then let go.

“Oh man, this place is boring!” she exclaimed. She ran over to a vase and proceeded to knock it over with her elbow. It shattered to pieces on the floor. She tossed couch cushions aside.

“It really needs a more manly touch, disorganized clutter’s more fun.” She grinned as she poured dirt from a flower pot onto the rug.

Aggy, Devil, and Caroline looked on in worry, Stalaro just stared off into space.

“What in Heaven’s name is going on?

Then he brightened when he saw Stalaro. “You!”

“Ah, Core, my old friend,” Stalaro sniffed, his head briefly looking like it was in between antlers from a stuffed deer head on the wall. “You made it.”

“Glad to see you, you son of the sun!” Core said. “I just completed my Rubik’s cube after just an hour.”

The cube vanished as Stalaro looked on.

Core raced over to Stalaro and embraced him in a side hug. The deer-like man blushed. “So, what can I help you with this time?”

Stalaro blinked nervously. “C-Can we snuggle?”

Core laughed. “I mean, seriously, why’d you bring me here?”

“My friend, I’m doing some dirty work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services. If that’s okay?”

“You must be joking,” Core said, laughing nervously.

“I don’t think so, motherfucker!” Stalaro replied.

“You thought it’d be a great idea just to pull me out of nowhere? You think I’m some kind of tragic boy?”

“Maybe,” Stalaro sighed, as crying sounds came from his microphone.

“I ain’t doing no dirty work.”

Stalaro appeared behind him. “Well I figured you would be the perfect face to greet and critique the guests at this fine establishment.”

He pointed his staff off toward a stand with vegetable drinks as claps and boos sounded from his staff.

“With your grumpy cat face and love of solitude…”

Core lifted up the corners of Stalaro’s mouth with his paws. “Aw come on, Stal. Don’t forget to smile once in a while!”

His mouth frowned once he let go.

Stalaro walked over to the stand. “Don’t worry, my friend. I can make this more interesting…if you wish.”

He conjured up a bottle of catnip with his finger.

Core stared with wide happy eyes. “What, you think you can buy me with sad eyes and some cheap catnip? Well, you can!” He purred and took the bottle with him.

Caroline, Devil, and Aggy arrived.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Aggy squealed. “Brilliant idea to have healthy drinks!”

“No!” Caroline protested. “This is supposed to be a place that encourages sin! No some kind of, frilly, Zen, child’s play…”

Devil rammed into Caroline. “Shut up! Shut up! We are keeping this!” He pointed all his fingers toward Core and the stand.

Core noticed Devil Grit and slid up to him. “Hey cutie,” he flirted.

“Go screw yourself,” muttered Devil Grit.

“Only if you watch me,” Core joked. “Or more likely, Stalaro will watch you.”

Caroline leaned in close to Core. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. You are going to go insane here!” She grinned, her teeth sharp.

“I lost the ability to go crazy years ago,” Core replied, sniffing the catnip.

Stalaro walked in, an ever-present frown on his face. “S-so, what do you think?”

Caroline ran over to him. “This is horrible!” she spat.

“It’s amazing!” Aggy beamed.

Aggy leaned in close between Caroline and Stalaro, embracing them in a hug.

“This is going to be very disengaging,” Stalaro exclaimed. Dubstep sounds emitted from his mouth as he stared around with worry. He stepped away from Aggy. “Caroline, I can’t lose you. We can’t lose you.”

Stalaro changed his light blue suit into a black funeral outfit. He did the same with Caroline, Devil, Husk, Klutzy, and Aggy, who were all wearing black clothing from the early 1900s. The room changed, the walls now covered with Voodoo symbols, Christian crosses and deer antlers.

“Take it boys,” Stalaro said. Light spirits appeared and played violins, a piano, and a flute in a sad symphony.

Stalaro sang his reprise to Caroline.

(“Stalaro’s lament Reprise”)

“You’re on a mission

Your innocence fell

And it’s so dangerous but hey, I wish you well

Yes your blunt protests

Will send you straight to Hell

And I can’t bear to see you banished, or your soul up to sell”

“Don’t bring your afterlife to an end

No matter what you say, I’m still your friend

We all have our wounds to mend

And you’re vulnerable feelings are real, don’t pretend”

“Inside of every angel is love and emotion

They have values and lasting devotion (devotion to God)

While you recruit those around

Don’t be swallowed by the ground

The authorities can retrieve you tight and bound (no turning around)”

“Here above the sky

Spread your wings and fly

They’ll spend a little time

Down at this Haven Ho…”

An explosion rattled the windows. Klutzy saw a door flying toward her face and she broke it in half with a karate chop.

The room and everyone’s clothing returned to normal.

Everyone looked outside and saw a podium in the air, held up by flying metallic eggs. A familiar snake debater appeared.

“Look who it is harboring the striped annoying opponent! We meet again, Stalaro!”

“Do I know you?” Stalaro asked.

Tears came to Senor’s eyes. “Oh yes, you do! Watch this presentation!”

The eggs danced in the air, singing a song about Senor trying his best to rule Heaven. He read from notecards. “You all can’t compete with me. Your hotel sucks. I…shall…destroy it…with… my…”

Stalaro giggled and blushed.

Senor looked up from his cards in anger. “Not like that, pervert!”

Stalaro snapped his fingers. A portal appeared and white tentacles shot out, knocking the podium off balance. The metal eggs knocked into Pentious Senor and he yelled, “Ow that hurt! Show mercy!”

Stalaro used a drop of his blood and the podium exploded in green smoke.

Senor emerged from the crater, arm shaking, fangs shattered.

“Shoot me with your ray gun,” said a metal egg beside him. Senor face-planted on the ground.

Stalaro looked on, sadly while everyone else stared, stunned.

“Anyone hungry?” Stalaro asked turning around. “Please don’t make me cook jambalaya. It’s way too spicy and it nearly killed me! I much prefer tea and sugared strawberries, oh the way they melt in my mouth… but anyway, you could say the kick brought me straight into Heaven.”

Stalaro lead the way back to the hotel, the group following him.

“Yes sir, new changes are about to take place. Now…”

Stalaro waved his finger at the lit up sign above the glass, gem-encrusted building on the roof.

The sign changed from “Hazbin Hotel” to “Haven Hotel.”

“Stay tuned.” He finished with low whimpers.

#haven hotel #hazbin hotel #heavenuva boss #helliva boss #2p #2p characters #alternate universe

10 notes · View notes