#i also feel consistently annoying talking about ANYTHING of mine

[cherrylight]

i am showing you him and talking about him (also because if i dont id die probably) YES i do have drawings of him but its hard to find them now and i hate using tumblr on my phone (it crashes a lot) so ill show you a simple little picrew

im going to be rambling about him btw <3

HI LOOK AT THIS GUY

i mean like hes me in all forms that is Me but look at him

ok maybe my hairs not that long BUT ITS REAL look at him :D

ok so about him ill try to not be super duper in depth but knowing me id talk your head off but ANYWAY! this is kaden aka me (since my name is kaden hi)

i had to redo this a thousand times because i never learn to stfu so

his full name is kaden property. the funny thing about that is my favourite band of all time released an album after epic comic day (you get it) so i think its basically fate saying hey you are going to be in love with this guy. so. i am. hes me. ANYWAY! moving right along to make this short and sweet or as sweet as humanly possible

he loves paranormal, he absolutely adores it. he loves ghosts and all that, he finds poltergeists like the coolest thing ever made and would probably die for them (lol). he is also a mad scientist :) i like mad scientists i think theyre silly.. and their aesthetic is SO EPIC so obviously i made the silly guy wear a lab coat (important to note: hes obsessed with his lab coat)

he has more things about him but because i never learn to stfu this entire post will be twice as long as before so oops i guess

oh yeah: his eyes are grey :) i used my own eye colour before but it made me insanely uncomfortable to a point it felt like i was staring into a mirror but the rest of him is pretty much spot on (sort of)

[call-me-a-simp]

No One Hates You More Than I Do

Talk It Out (Part 6)

Enemies to lovers (Rhea Ripley x fem. Reader):

You're a well known wrestler in WWE and Rhea is your worst enemy. You hate each other in and outside of the ring. Rhea always flirts with you, not that she means it, she just knows it makes you furious and wants to annoy you. But one day everything changes and you start to feel like all of this isn't a joke anymore and that there might actually be something between you two.

You get ready for work and head out the door, grabbing an energy drink from the nearby grocery store on your way. It was a pretty chill day, only a few interviews and more prepping stuff for the upcoming show where they plan to reveal you as the new member of The Judgement Day.

That evening after work you decide to attend the local gym as you didn't have time for you daily workout yet. You don't notice the person following you in your tired state. You probably wouldn't have noticed them at all if they wouldn't have let you known they're there during one of your breaks between some reps.

Rhea's eyes follow you the whole day, noticing your tired expression and weak body from the lack of sleep and proper food. She doesn't even try to deny her being worried about you. So after you left work she decides to follow you. Keeping a safe distance with her car until she sees you enter the towns local gym. She parks her car in a nearby parking lot where she is able to see if you would leave the building again or not.

Sitting there in silence she thinks about her feelings towards you and your reaction when she told you. It made her wonder if you secretly felt the same and just also had difficulties expressing that. After about twenty minutes she finally worked up the courage to confront you with her thoughts and theories so she gets out the car and walks over to the building you're in.

It doesn't take her long to find you since it's a fairly small area with quite few people being there at that time. She waits until you're taking a break to speak to you.

"Hey" you hear a familiar voice and look up. It was Rhea. "What do you want? Can't you see that I'm busy right now?" you attack her annoyed. "Sorry to bother you.." she raises her arms in defence and looks hurt at your reaction, which makes you feel guilty almost immediately. "I'm sorry, I'm just very tired." you mumble and sigh. "What is it Ripley? What are you here for?" "I just wanted to talk about.. some uh.. thoughts of mine.." Rhea admits and blushes.

"Fine by me, want to tell me while I finish my reps?" You ask her. "I'd prefer to wait until we're alone, but I can spot you and maybe give you some tips until then?" Rhea responds in a questioning tone. You shrug and nod.

About half an hour later you're walking out of the gym together. "My apartment is almost right around the corner, wanna meet there?" You turn to look at Ripley. "Bet I'll be there first!" Rhea playfully smirks at you and runs off to her car. You didn't notice you were smiling at her actions until you accidentally saw your reflection on the car window. You quickly replace it with a neutral look and shake your head at your behaviour. Why were you smiling at her stupid jokes?

Five minutes later you unlock your front door where Rhea was already waiting for you. Opening it you begin to question yourself if this might be a mistake, if Rhea was just acting nice to land a critical hit on you. You brush it off as your normal overthinking and hold the door open for your guest.

"I haven't cleaned today or anything so please don't mind the mess.." you mumble more to yourself than to her. Rhea hums and follows you to the big main room, consisting of living room and kitchen at the same time. "I'm gonna order some pizza, you want something too?" You ask without turning around to her. "I'm good, thanks" she denies your offer. She then patiently waits until your done with the phone call before speaking up again.

"So uhm.. like I said I wanted to talk about some of my thoughts with you because i feel the urge to clarify some things but now that I'm actually here it's harder than I originally thought.." your counterpart admits awkwardly.

"Tomorrow's a holiday which means no work which means we've got all night" you shrug and turn around to her with a little smile that's meant to reassure her. Your eyes meet and you can see her relax a little more. You smile at each other and you walk over to the couch, signaling Rhea to come sit next to you.

"Maybe it'll be easier if we don't start with it right away and instead focus on something else. For example finally getting over our egos and start working together for real this time." you say with a serious undertone in your voice. Rhea nods but avoids looking directly at you.

"You're right" she eventually says and lifts up her gaze, meeting yours. "I'm sorry for treating you bad all these years, even after I thought we got over our problems. I somehow couldn't help but spread rumors about you, which again, leads us to why I wanted to talk to you so bad" she sighs.

"I know.." you whisper. "And to be honest.. I kinda feel drawn to you too.." There's a few moments of silence until you continue. "It just confuses me because I never felt this way with another woman before. Does that mean I'm a lesbian now?"

Rhea breaks out laughing and you can't help but chuckle too. "If you're still attracted to men then no, it does not make you a lesbian" Ripley laughs but then gets serious again. "So you do like me back?" she wants to clarify, praying she didn't interpret your words the wrong way.

"I- I don't know, like, the sex we had was pretty damn good I have to admit, and I wouldn't complain if we did it again.." you shyly look at her, nervously chuckling as an attempt to calm the anxiety a little. Seeing her eyes lighten up at those words and the little smile that sneaks into her face makes you feel a certain warmth and ease inside. "I.. guess we could try.." you whisper, breaking eye contact as you can feel the heat rush into your cheeks.

"So- uh.. you're saying you think you do like me back and that you're willing to date me, like.. seriously?" Rhea asks completely overwhelmed. "God damn it, yes, you idiot!" You exclaim and wrap your hands around her neck kissing her.

You both smile into the kiss and you lean back, pulling Rhea on top of yourself as you lay down. "I still fucking hate you for what you've done, just to be clear" you murmur against her lips and she chuckles in response. "And what do you want me to do about it now.." she then teases you. "Maybe fuck you so hard you just forget about it?" she smirks at you. "Mmh.. maybe?" you whisper and smirk back at her.

Rhea kisses you again and begins to trail kisses along your jawline and down to the crook of your neck. Slipping one of her legs between yours, she presses her body down against your own, creating a friction that makes you moan softly.

But before it could go any further the doorbell rings, and you push Rhea off of yourself with a grin. You liked that you were able to make her horny and now she got to wait. She looks back at you pouting, but eventually smiles at you as she watches you come back, already with a mouth full of pizza.

"God I just can't be mad at you" she sighs and guides you to sit between her legs with your back against her chest. "I'll turn on a movie okay?" she says softly and kisses your temple while reaching for the tv remote.

----------------------------------------------------------

I AM SO INCREDIBLY SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING Y'ALL FOR SO LONG!!! I don't know what's going on with me at the moment myself or I would have explained it to you, but ye, hope you enjoy and I'll try to write more now :)

Taglist: @specialinterestshows @butterfly12347 @billiewherearetheavocados @lomlrhea @hatdog96 @plk-18 @babybatlover @wiccanpriestess @kagome2909 @domlynch

[vai3r13]

Hello hello! :) I’m here for our matchup trade for Black Butler! (I sent the pictures for the Paparazzi end :) )

Starting off I am a neurodivergent, queer (but attracted to masculinity) female. I go by she/they and im an INFP Sagittarius.

Physically, I am a 5’2” but wear platform converse or boots every day of my life. Style wise, im definitely alternative. However, Im also a fan of the baggy jeans, tight top, kinda side of grunge. Im also a sucker for black with pastels, so I suppose my color pallete would fall under “Pastel Goth” or something similar. I actually really love the style called “Morute” which stands for “Morbidly Cute”. I just absolutely adore the creepy-cute combination, and i aspire to look like a creepy doll somedays.

That also would lead into hobbies, as I love dolls! I collect them and will gush over them any time i see one in public i like. Especially going to cons and seeing the little stands with BJD dolls? I go feral-...and broke. My entire room is decorated in pretty dolls, anime figures, manga, and cherry blossom vines. (I really want a cherry blossom tattoo on my back but im terrified of needles-) My other hobbies include writing, skateboarding, singing/making music, and dancing! I have a band with friends right now. I’m training my voice to be a metal singer despite having a feminine voice, so im a bit shy with it right now.

Personality wise, I suppose it tends to fluctuate, but i think what sticks the most is that I'm extremely sweet and loyal. I used to be very shy, and can even be pretty quiet nowadays too. Im definitely introverted but, ive gotten much better with it. Friends would definitely say that im bubbly, always trying to laugh. Definitely witty too because I absolutely love bantering and softly bullying people. Id say im very emotionally intelligent when it comes to other people. Im definitely a realist, and im told im very good with advice and empathizing with people. I feel i understand other emotions more than mine sometimes. Which annoys me- Because I have a habit of not expressing anything negative. I think it might be due to past trauma, but I have a hard time staying angry or upset with people. Its like- once you screw me over, i have no issues getting rid of you. I dont like that i can easily disconnect from people, as I feel it makes me sound like a bad person, but I just feel l like if i know my worth, and someone isnt treating me as they should, I shouldnt keep them in my life. That does go to say though, that I am an all or nothing person with people I care about. If i am your friend, I trust you can come to me with anything and I vice versa no matter what. I always come through and i expect the same. 

Another bad habit though would be disappearing. I wouldnt call it ghosting because I always pop back up, but I usually dont respond or see people for weeks or even months, even close friends. Most that are close know that if they need to talk to me, they have to double text or call me. Ill always answer then. I dont mean to, I just for some reason am really consistent with randomly dropping off the face of the earth for everyone but my partner, or person closest. Texts are always paragraphs though! Im not a dry texter, just forget I exist and have to respond :) Not to mention, i have ran away out of state before just for the sake of going and exploring. (Did a lot of Urbex and trespassing- it was fun but i dont think ill ever go to abandon buildings like that again. That doesnt mean ill stop climbing trains though!) I just love road trips and little late night adventures. 

Some notes about me… Id say my fears involve needles, the dark (I sleep with a nightlight but love horror-), Clowns, and deep water. I cannot swim and have nearly drowned before so I actually hate going swimming. I dont see the appeal and start to panic if i cant see or touch the bottom. I wouldnt say im scared of spiders though like most. I actually am the person my job calls for to grab spiders and take them outside. If theyre cute, ill just grab them with my hand. Another thing is that I have OCD and PTSD. My OCD isnt the typical stereotype of being clean, Im just very routine with patterns. The person im with has to be okay with frequent alarms I set for different time frames, my strange eating habits (I cant have anything touching, one food at a time, soft foods over crunchy, and i absolutely love bananas but cant eat them unless someone peels them for me while im not looking) I also get very paranoid about certain things, like for example, i get little episodes sometimes where I freak out because I believe Ill inherent my dads schizophrenia and Ill because dissociated with reality, so whoever im with needs to be able to help assure me i wont just lose my mind- That being said, my least favorite love language is touch! I can be touched, but its very easy to overwhelm my due to past trauma. I also flinch very easily without even thinking and it gets annoying when people make fun of it. Because of this as well, im a very silent walker and tend to scare people because i subconsciously make myself as unnoticeable as possible. Im also an insomniac. I will not go to bed until the sun is up, and even then I wake up very easily. My doctor keeps trying to give me medications for it so i can sleep better, but its so ironic because I stop taking them constantly because I hate feeling tired. SO someone who doesnt mind being up a bit late would be appreciated :) 

Random facts are: I absolutely adore raccoons and rats, and used to be a rat mom! I’ll spit out little rodent facts like im google. I know morse code. Im an amazing driver. I will get you there fast and safe….fast as in i max out my car frequently and if i get one more traffic misconduct i lose my license. BUT i know how to be safe with taking those risks, if that makes sense? Like i know where and when to speed and when not to- Most people fear getting in the car with me. But other than that, i think that’s it for now! Thank you <3

Hello!<3 @xxchthonicreaturexx

I apologize for any mistakes! English is not my native language and I'm new to writing:) Written in "you" perspective

possible tw - talk of mental health, mentions of unhealthy relationship ig? idk how healthy grim reapers r, mentions of drowning and suicide

barely proofread

To start, you're gorg and going off of everything I think your Black Butler match would be..

Undertaker !!

Both visually and personality wise I think you would compliment each-other! In my opinion your energies have something similar.

visual

I think Undertaker would like your piercings, he has an industrial himself.

small head cannons

You both have black nail polish, so painting each others nails as a cute activity:)

Doing each others eyeliner/make up.

classic

Undertakers mbti type most likely is ISTJ while yours is INFP. While your compatibility can seem difficult at first, by appreciating each others differences you "balance" each other out.

Sagittarius and Aquarius are an energetic match, being air and fire signs your elements fit seamlessly. In astrology, air feeds fire.

"i can easily disconnect from people"

Is a trait both of your star signs posses, a similarity that needs to be balanced between the two of you.

In terms of style I can see you in lots of similar/ partner outfits, as your style is somewhat similar too. Undertaker would, just like you, adore pastel goth and a creepy cute, dolly like aesthetic, - not on him but most definitely on his partner.

I think Undertaker would definitely share your love for dolls, acquiring many dolls and gifting them to you.

As we can see in the Luxury Liner arc, I'd say he has his own love for "dolls", if you know what I'm saying.

As for your other hobbies I think Undertaker wouldn't exactly share your interest in them, but he'd definitely support you. Ex. Watching your band perform, making tea to soothe your voice after you've practiced. He'd definitely be one to annoy and tease you in a joking manner, while you're writing or doing other things.

You being more calm/quiet and Undertakers more energetic and chaotic certainly harmonize. You'd participate in a lot of witty banter and Undertakers life mission would be to make you laugh all the time. He'd adore your sweetness and bubbly-ness (is that even a word??) and your loyalty would be VERY important to him. While he acts and is mostly carefree, I think deep down he still wary of deep connections with people, as he doesn't really have friends.

When he achieves said connection tho he might not always act like it but he'd be sort of possessive. Wouldn't let you get very close to Sebastian or Ciel out of a fear, that they would use you against him in some way. It takes a while for him to tell you what he is, it takes him a while to trust someone 100% wouldn't talk about how it happened tho.

I think arguments wouldn't happen very often, when they do tho they would happen out of Undertakers disregard for "human customs", ex. relationships with other people, etc. Undertaker doesn't resort to screaming, he wouldn't even comprehend that you're mad or annoyed with him. After a few days of not talking much he'd try and talk, bring you something, dolls, sweets, whatever. Makes you sit down and explain what's bothering you, wouldn't always get it but he'd try. Makes up by gifting you dolls or figurines.

Would get worried the first few times you disappear, always manages to find you tho. Absolutely goes exploring with you, might not say it but part of the reason why, is because he's worried about you.

Teases you about your fear of the dark, always lights a candle for you at night tho. Undertaker has died through drowning, as shown in a manga panel, so he shares your fear of water. It serves as a constant reminder for him, so you both don't see the appeal.

Might sound weird but he's fascinated with your OCD habits, he asks you about them. Once you explained them, he always makes sure that your food is arranged the way you like it and peels your bananas for you. Doesn't mind the alarms you set, can be your personal alarm clock actually.

Undertaker has dealt with a lot throughout his long life, he has his own problems. He will always assure you that you're going to be okay. Another thing, that might seem insensitive but sometimes he'd joke that you'll be "crazy" together.

Undertaker's very touchy by nature, I would say. After noticing you flinch, he'd be unsure if his presence and being a grim reaper still intimidates you in some way, if he decides talking to you about it, Undertaker will resort to gift giving and quality time.

Being a quiet walker doesn't matter with Undertaker, as he senses your presence, he isn't human after all, or easy to startle.

Grim Reapers require both sleep and sustenance, but have you seen Undertaker? That man runs on two hours of sleep maximum, he also definitely wouldn't mind staying up late. Dancing late at night, while nobody is watching, is definitely a reoccurring activity in a relationship with the Undertaker. He can be a bit overbearing at times.

Depending what century you're imagining this in, Undertaker loves when you drive, it's sort of an adrenaline rush for him.

head canons

-

Doing each others makeup, sitting on a coffin or your bed. "You have to be still, for me not to smudge the eyeliner!!", while he tries to tickle or smooch you.

_

Painting each others nails and making a cute date night out of it, lots of candles around you for the atmosphere. Playful banter, which ends in you two cuddling in a coffin.

-

Going out to explore the woods, him following closely behind you, suddenly disappearing just to appear in front of you, scaring you in the process, making Undertaker burst out laughing. Holding out a hand to help you climb onto things.

-

Exploring the city at night, when the people are sleeping and the bustling and usually loud streets of London are completely empty. Even jumping roof to roof. (This reminded me of that one Howl's moving castle scene. 01:47-02:10 in the linked video)

-

Late at night, while both of you aren't sleeping, Undertakers shop is dark, except for the dozens of candles littered across the room, as a music box starts playing a soft melody. Undertaker coming up behind you and offering you a hand, as you start dancing across his shop, moving through the space together, occasionally stepping on each others feet and giggling.

Again, it's my first time writing and English isn't my first language. I hope you could still enjoy this<3

[melissa-titanium]

id like to preface this rant with a picture of my cat & also a disclaimer that this isn't like. a vent or a call for help ir anything i just like musing about this stuff. talking outloud to myself if you will. i'm doing perfectly well right now but im thinkingggg and id like to spill it somewhere so it doesnt overflow. i don't think i'll be replying to responses if there is any but i'd definitely love to /read/ responses if youd like to share your own thoughts. :)) <3

ok. my cat as promised

alright. ive been thinking. i have always been rather pessimistic, a product of my youth and developmental environment, so i like to take my thoughts with a grain of salt with the understanding that what i see things as can be wildly different from other people. essentially i try my best to be self aware, but i have slip ups. we all do!

and again, i know dark times in your life pass, they always will if you're strong enough to persevere! i'd know, after many terrible terrible times i came close to the brink but managed to bounce back. i have everyone i have ever met over the years to thank, i could not name them all but especially hellholians. even if the server will never have the same amount of activity, even if we are all different people than who we were during the fucking insane years that were 2020-2022, those were some of the most influential years of my entire life & i have so many great and terrible memories from that time. i don't know if i truly have any influence in other peoples lives as they do in mine, but i'm glad to have been atleast a small part of everyone there's life. hellhole got me through some of the most inane fucking bullshit i have ever experienced in my life and even if i was an annoying piece of shit back then i am glad everyone tolerated me. ok sentiment over ill be here forever if i dont end it.

essentially. to reiterate the sentence i derailed. i know everyone has dark times in their life. and i know a good support system and spite can seriously help you get through those times... but to take from a good metaphor i saw some time ago that i can't find the source for the life of me; what do you even do once you've escaped the dark? you lose so much blood on the way to freedom that once you're out of that terrible place you can't do anything but collapse in on yourself. the adrenaline has run out and now the only thing thats left is the husk of what you were before the darkness hit. in some cases people have evidence of who they were, proof that they were /someone./ but i suppose in my case & others ofc, the terrible things happened so consistently and so constantly that i (and again, others) had no chance to even create that concept, to get an idea of who "i" am. sometimes it feels like ive been hollowed out and left to dry in the sun, other times it feels like ive been shattered into a thousand different evershifting versions of myself, and other times it just feels like i'm not even in my body. i'm not acting like this is a unique experience in the slightest, i know damn well there are people who have had it MUCH worse than me. it just frustrates me sometimes to be so little of a person that never existed, especially when people often force their ideas of who that person was onto me.

to describe things a little less cryptically -- i don't know who i am. yeah, i'm not supposed to have it all figured out at 15, i'm not fucking stupid, but sometimes it just feels like i'm falling so behind in the self-discovery department. so many people i know seem (SEEM, i know it isn't always that way on the inside) to be confident in who they are and how they present themself to other people, and then i'm just there struggling to differentiate the dream i had three weeks ago with present reality & juggling three different terrible outcomes to a conversation i made up in my head & also debating whether to kill everyone i know in cold blood and dissapear off the radar. every single interaction i have with people is some fucked up infinitely and needlessly complicated labyrinth of a mindgame. i suppose im getting tired but basically i feel like why im so bad at maintaining friendships is i can never ever find a comfortable level to talk to people with until AFTER i've had time to analyze them & how they behave so i can react accordingly. it's not necessarily that i'm accommodating for them, it's that they've already accommodated for me & i'm simply reflecting their behaviour. if i ever say i'm being sincere, but talk completely and totally different to another person, i'm probably not lying. i've been asked by a handful of wonderfully insightful people (whom i love. you know who you guys are <3) who have sort of unintentionally helped me understand these pwrts of me. but for now im going to sleep intotally lost the motifve of this rant uhhw

[littlewestern]

James. let's hear it, I wanna hear your spicy mamma mia ship opinions on funny red train 🤌

I struggle to nail down my thoughts about James's relationships about 75% of the time, but thankfully @greatwesternway functions as my extant, offsite brain for when mine doesn't work and reminded me of some good ones.

DUCK:

ALRIGHT! Before everyone starts beating me with hammers for typing yet more words about Duck, let me defend myself.

This is probably my favorite relationship that James has in the series, though I can't say I ship it per se. But the pieces are all there, right?

James finds Duck suuuuper fucking annoying, and it's really easy to see why. On a surface level, Duck talks about one thing all the time, he comes off as being no fun (read: more interested in doing his job than looking splendid or pulling important trains), and despite not being splendid or gorgeous or even really remarkable in any way, Duck has all the independence and responsibility that James claims to desire.

This obfuscates the true nature of James's disdain, though. James doesn't dislike Duck because of anything so superficial as looks or station. James is jealous. God, he's so jealous!

Duck, unlike James, places a great deal of value and importance on his identity as a GWR engine, but he also slots beautifully into life on the NWR without much issue. (There was that hiccup with the diesel, but that's besides the point, you can't account for what diesels will do to a yard.)

James, by contrast, has never felt at home on any railway and so has leaned into the idea that he is simply an individual. Who needs a shared identity when you can just be red? Certainly no sour grapes to be found here, nope, no sir! James is just fine by himself and he doesn't need anybody else to feel accepted and wanted and like a real part of the railway.

But Duck... Duck seems so happy! He just does his jobs and works hard and, as if by magic, gets everything James claims to want. He has a branch line, gets consistent recognition for being Really Useful, and no one's ever double or triple-checking to make sure he's doing his jobs without complaint or fuss. He's even got guys who laugh at his jokes! No one ever laughs at James's jokes... It's hard to watch the guy you dislike get everything you think you want.

Of course, James doesn't actually want a branch line or responsibility or any of those other things. What he wants is the belonging, the simple satisfaction of having confidence in who you are without the cherry red veneer James has to throw on top of everything. When Duck rolls on by with his slip coaches and seaside line and the respect and admiration of everyone he works with, James gets a glimpse at what his life could be if he'd only set aside his pride and insecurity. But it's not that easy, is it?

It would be easy, however, to take this in a shippy direction. For James, any strong feeling (positive or negative) about another engine tends to turn quickly to a desire for acceptance, but I fear it's doomed to be one-sided in this case. Duck has guys who like him a lot more than James does, and they're all ten times more responsible and less troublesome than the NWR's number 5. Handsomer, too, in Duck's estimation.

TOAD:

PUT. THE HAMMERS. DOWN.

No, listen! I'm completely serious! Toad is so good for James in Toad's Adventure. And why wouldn't he be? Toad is good for everyone, but especially James.

He only takes Toad on because he has to have a brake van, but by the end of the ordeal not only does James learn a valuable lesson about how accidents are more easily forgiven than simple neglect, he also has gained such a great amount of respect for Toad that he sets him up to tell the whole story to a rapt switching yard. This is such a cool move by a guy who has gained a reputation for being incredibly Not Cool, especially not to his own rolling stock.

Toad is an interesting pick to me because he's a veritable font of wisdom and practical advice, and James is great at taking that sort of knowledge to the next logical conclusion. James the Critical Thinking Engine. Toad would be indispensable for him to have around consistently but he also never poses the kind of threat to James's ego that another engine might. Toad can also stick up for himself when it matters, so you won't see him rolling over if his engine starts to mistreat him. Maybe not the best for shipping, but it's a relationship dynamic I really like.

Thanks for the ask!

[girasollake]

GIRASOLLAKE’s WRITING EVENT ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the event is over now!

❁ hi yall!! i’m doing this event to get creative and write some stuff since i haven’t written in like… forever

❁ basically i’m gonna be opening my requests until the 1st of september and you pick a character from this list (please also read these rules), a trope and a prompt from the lists below:)

❁ feel free to add smth from yourself that you’d like me to include in the one-shot and i’ll try my best to take it into consideration while writing!!

❁ if the request will be very similar to smth i have already written then i’ll probably won’t write it

❁ have fun!!<333

TROPES:

1. one bed

2. friends to lovers

3. enemies to lovers

4. lovers to strangers

5. forbidden romance

6. secret relationship

7. fake dating

8. jealousy

9. sibling’s best friend

10. best friend’s sibling

11. academic rivalry

12. unrequited love

13. childhood besties to lovers

14. mutual pining

15. exes to lovers

16. neighbours to lovers

PROMPTS:

1. "is this okay?" "it's more than okay."

2. their breath hitching whenever the other gets a little closer

3. playing with their hair until they fall asleep

4. holding them close and noticing the smell of their shampoo in their hair

5. annoying any other surrounding friends/teammates with their consistent arguing

6. "you left me! don't you realize i could have died?!" "that was the plan!"

7. not being able to say anything when watching the other get flirted with

8. "if we get caught, i'm blaming you."

9. "i'm sorry did you just say that this is fun?" "yeah, kinda."

10. returning each other's belongings, not wanting to be reminded of the other's existence

11. "why do you seem upset?" "why the hell do you think..."

12. leaving love bites on them

13. confessing their love when the other falls asleep

14. small gestures that mean a lot (ex. buying a fav candy)

15. (them buying a present) „it reminded me of you.”

16. “when was the last time you slept?”

17. you lay a hand on them one more time and i’ll take it clean off of you.”

18. waking up to them cooking breakfast for you

19. eye contact w/ sexual tension

20. subtle touches w/ sexual tension

21. just lots of *ekhm* sexual tension

22. stuck together in a room while being enemies

23. “please, for the love of god, shut up for once.” “why don’t you come over here and make me?”

24. kissing to shut them up

25. “you make me smile ... and also super horny, but that’s not the point. “

26. "come here, say it again"

27. back hugs.

28. when they wipe the corner of your mouth with their thumb

29. getting pinned against a wall

30. “oh, them? i don’t like them.” (they do). 

31. "what.. are we now?"

32. “wait- what if someone sees?!”

33. "I'm right here; I won't leave your side. Go back to sleep, darling."

34. praying that they don't notice their heart racing as they give them a hug

35. grabbing onto their partner's hand to establish their relationship

36. tracing over their scars

37. hugging and absentmindedly kissing their neck, resulting in mortification for one of them

38. telling them they deserve better (and silently wanting to be the one who gives it to them)

39. “this is the part where you’re meant to kiss me.”

40. "yeah no, 'sorry' isn't going to cut it this time."

41. being their server and getting flustered over how attractive they are

42. they forget something important

43. "how can something beautiful as love make one so unhappy?"

44. first kiss

45. first i love you’s…

46. first time

47. sharing an umbrella!!

48. "you. are. mine."

49. "what? no visicous insult about my clothes or hair? nothing?"

50. "my love language is bullying people." "you bully me. a lot." "..."

51. "are you okay?" "i'm convincing myself that I'm not in love with X."

52. "how come your so quiet?" "i don't really feel the need to talk. i like just... being around you."

53. "why can't we stay like this forever?" "who says we can't?"

54. "you drive me fucking crazy."

55. "please stay."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

prompts are mostly by @novelbear and @parker-fics

probably a few others but i forgot the @ cuz i forgot to write them down, pls forgive me:’)

[emilykaldwen]

HI YES HELLO ARE YOU THERE? Right, please RUN do not WALK to go ready this fantastic 'What if Daemon and Rhea Royce ended up having kids' AU because um hi, yes, I'm obsessed. I'm in love. I mean, okay, I've always loved The Roycegaryen kids since being introduced to them last summer. I would die for the Roycegaryen kids (they are even making a cameo in Maiden even though there's no Daemon relationship there they are just that fucking good) and I support all their successes and their crimes. Oooof this is... just such a high caliber AU series, with a flourishing, expansive cast that evokes GRRM at his best.

THE ROYCES! HOUSE ROYCE! So many cousins! Baratheon representation! So many stories and connections. It's a Charlie Day Board of who is tied to who and just goes the extra mile to make this world feel so alive.

This is not a pro-Daemon fic. He is seen through the eyes of his three eldest children which makes things rough, but I definitely feel that it's in character for an angry, abandoned, highly emotional 16 year old who was sent away and then had kids and that's all really fucking complicated.

I think what I love most about this story is the quality of it and that quality is consistent through all my favorite things. The worldbuilding is fantastic. Misa knows Westeros, she understands the houses, and the politics. One of my AU frustrations is when people go 'what if' and then... don't account for the full butterfly effect (and I mean that on a 'they don't change anything' way, not a 'you didn't account for EVERYTHING AND ALL THE TINY DETAILS' way because there's a lot and it's fic). The implications of what it would mean for Daemon to have children, and for Daemon to also have a son is fully taken into account.

The characters. The characters. THE CHARACTERS. First off, hi, yeah, I would take Misa's masterclass course on writing kids because kids are fucking difficult and they feel so real. We spend the first 5/6 chapters dealing with 7-14 year old Yorick and Ella, and Rhaenyra and Alicent and Laenor and Laena. They feel like children. They are full of hope and imagination and bossiness and not understanding how to talk about things. I'm not one who likes going through the 'let's start when they're kids' phases because it's just rarely well done. This? this is well done. This is complex and complicated and innocent and christ almighty, it's just so good.

These characters are imperfect. They have tempers, they fuck up, they make mistakes, they are not always the victim, they are the victim! they can be the villain! They can be the heroes. It's real. These characters feel real. I feel confused that this is not, in fact, how the first half of watching House of the Dragon went, or why are they not in Fire and Blood? I am invested in a cast of OCs in a way I haven't been in awhile because yes, this cast is Majorly OC Centric in the best possible way. (of course, we'll see the TargTower kids coming up) but wow. yeah. I need to sit down and think about my own sense of writing and what I juggle and handle and suddenly I am just terribly inspired.

Hello, yes, I'm filing adoption paperwork for Yorick, Ella, and Aemon. They are mine now. Or should I say, I will share them, because I need @selfproclaimedunicorn to come back from planning hiatus and I am *so annoyed* that I do not have more to read.

[evilpenguinrika]

For that ship-or-character ask game…as mutuals, I get to see your wide variety of interests on a daily basis, and in some (many?) ways Hosie seems very different from a lot of your other fandoms/ships, so I’d like to hear your Hosie origin story and whatever else from option 001 🙏

001 send me a ship and i will tell you

Haha that's incredibly true--to be fair to Hosie, I think that's the only sapphic live action ship I talk about/reblog consistently. Whereas my other ships are 2D (I'm not counting my Critical Role ships in the live action category since CR is an actual-play D&D show and I feel like that's a whole other category in of itself, but I'm putting CR ships in 2D to just simplify things for me) and I think I've mostly been reblogging achillean ships too--well, aside from Imodna of course.

But I think some of my other sapphic ships teeters a lot into rarepair category (e.g. Lightning/Vanille from FF13) or the fandom has died out that there isn't really a lot of content for me to talk about. I also passively ship things where I ship something but I don't actively search out content for them.

So Hosie is definitely one of the rarer sapphic ships of mine where I'm like very active in. And it's nice to see others also being active in the ship so I can reblog fun content!

Although I feel like there are some ships I've reblogged/talked about that are similar-ish to Hosie, but it's escaping my mind right now lol

.

when I started shipping it if I did: So I went into Legacies for Posie after seeing a trailer for an episode that showed Josie and Penelope's relationship and I was like "oh? sapphic? guess I'll watch this". But I ended up shipping Hosie during the twin's 16th birthday episode and the whole "makes quiet things heard" bit. Like that episode itself solidified my shipping of Hosie since I did get a small vibe from them I think in the pilot episode but thought nothing of it since I was still hooked on Posie. But since "make quiet things heard" episode, it really sold the Hosie ship for me! my thoughts: I guess I really love the brooding/loner and sunshine dynamic LMAO at least that's how I see Hosie. But aside from that, I wish the show explored more of their requited crushes on each other--albeit at different times/stages in their life. It would have been really cute to see Josie's reaction that, yes, Hope did have a crush on Josie when they were younger. But hey, that's what fanfiction is for! What makes me happy about them: Oh geez... I mean, aside from the broody/sunshine dynamic, I like how--not just in canon--but even in fics where people interpret their dynamic from how they see it. And that's the thing I enjoy about fanfic sometimes, is seeing what other people see and think about a ship and their dynamic that's totally different from how I view them. What makes me sad about them: that they never got together in the show or talked about their requited crushes on each other :(

things done in fanfic that annoys me: I don't think there's really anything that annoys me in fics when it comes to Hosie? Not unless you count the technical stuff where it's just one huge text block and there are zero paragraph breaks so you end up getting confused/lost on what's going on. But that's just a technical thing in general that I tend to find (and it always saddens me when it happens because the summary and premise would be SO amazing but then it would be difficult to read because it's just one massive block of text) and not really a Hosie thing.

things I look for in fanfic: honestly it depends on what I'm in the mood for. If I'm in the mood for smut, I'll try and find some Top Hope/Bottom Josie. If I want to read some darker, potentially dead dove: do not eat, fics then I'll search for some of that and browse around to see what catches my interest (I enjoy darker fics because they explore darker themes in a controlled environment and if it gets too much, I can always just exit out of the story no question). Rarely I'm ever in the mood for fluff--but when that does happen, I just look for something sweet to read.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Now, if we're talking canonical events via the show/end of s4, then it would be Hizzie and Posie.

I've already explained that I got into watching Legacies because of Posie, but in terms of Hizzie, this is a funny thing that requires a bit of a tangent. So, I don't really ship Hizzie, but I understand and can see why people do! And the reason it's funny is because Hizzie's dynamic is pretty similar, if not the same dynamic, to other ships I do like (Klance being one of them, I feel like there has to be another ship with that similar dynamic but I cannot for the life of me remember). It's very, at least how I see it, very rivals-to-friends/lovers. Although I may not ship it, I think Hizzie makes the most sense in terms of this question, especially because of the whole Lizzie drank Hope's blood and came back as a Heretic thing. And for Posie, well, I mean. Josie's in Belgium. Penelope's in Belgium. Very scorned lovers reignite that flame for each other vibe. Or maybe not scorned lovers, sorry that's a bad choice of words. But like, it's that vibe, you know? Like they're rekindling their relationship/love for each other. I'd like to think that both of them have grown from how they were in s1 and have decided to give it another shot.

My happily ever after for them: On vacation far away from Mystic Falls

who is the big spoon/little spoon: I'd like to think that Hope's the big spoon and Josie's the little spoon, but I also like to think they both switch up being whatever spoons they want.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: I think it's probably just sitting around the living space doing their own thing but still being near each other and in each other's company. They don't have to talk or anything, they're just vibing with each other in silence and I think that's beautiful. Where you and your partner don't have to always interact but can just be in each other's company while you both do your own thing--like parallel play I think that's the word--but like. Yeah. I think it's beautiful and I can see them do that. With Josie maybe reading or tending to her plants while Hope watches a movie or whatever.

[mrsaltieri-real]

His Perfect Victim (Mickey Altieri x OC!Dahlia Levine)

Chapter 8: Scars and Secrets

Words: 3k

Warnings: language, angst, PTSD, fluff, stabbing, blood, arguing, violence, making out, suggestive, mickey actually being sweet, etc

This chapter was both sad and fun to write. My girl has so much trauma and it’s so hard to write but at the same time, so necessary for future chapters. Thank you one again to @bisexual-horror-fan for beta reading and editing this for me. Your additions only made it hurt so good even more. I love you dude.

@lizey-thornberry for tags.

Secrets. I have never much liked secrets.

My own, or other peoples, I’d rather people just not tell me anything. My reasoning was that it was better not knowing, so I wouldn’t accidentally run my mouth or feel the overwhelming, bone breaking and soul crushing pressure of having to lie about something.

But this is one secret I didn’t mind keeping, not at all.

Mickey and I decided to keep our “relationship test run” on the down low, and I honestly preferred it this way. It wasn’t because either one of us were ashamed or conflicted, it was simply because it was easier.

I didn’t need the disapproval from Randy, I could picture him sitting across from me, his expression tattling on his extreme displeasure and when questioned his lips would purse, eyebrows would raise, hands up he would say, “Nothing.” But it’s not nothing, I know it and he knows it, his fucking shitty tone showing it as clear as the sky is blue. I also couldn’t take the pressing questions from Hallie, could practically feel her hand crushing mine as she talks a mile a minute, it was enough to make a headache crop up if I lingered too long. I just wanted to remain in the newly blown bubble that was being with him.

There was a small kind of thrill in the sneaking around. He took me on secret dates to the movies or for dinner, always met me before and after classes, walked me to my lectures, just hanging out in the square and we talked.

Fuck, we talked about anything we could think of. It was mainly about him, that being my own choice. I didn’t like talking about myself, because the questioning will always lead to the one thing I didn’t want to talk about. That one thing, or rather one person, should be obvious.

Stu.

Even back then, I wasn’t stupid. Mickey knew Stu was my cousin and how close we were, so it was only natural for someone to be curious about the missed signs and warnings that he was who he was. He’d asked gently a couple of times, but I’d simply shrugged off the question or made a small dismissive comment and swiftly changed the subject back into his affliction with movies.

No matter how much time I spent with him, I never understood how he got so into his films. He’d watch the same ones a thousand times over and over again and be just as eager and engulfed as the first.

It was endearing, but I never understood. He would try to explain the complexities and deep-rooted meanings behind the films but was met with nothing but a blank stare which just made him laugh. No matter how much he expounded it never clicked for me, but he didn’t mind, if anything it seems like he relished the challenge and hoped it might happen, or, he was at least into the fun we had along the way while he kept trying.

I liked how he made me feel normal. How he didn’t look at me like the crazy girl from Woodsbro, but instead with intrigue and an intense curiosity that should have made me uncomfortable, instead of that though, it made me feel seen for the first time in my entire life.

But the thing that I liked most about him? Mickey never pressured me, never tried to coax me into absolutely anything I didn’t want to do. Honestly, his patience surprised me. He never failed to surprise me. If I continue to be honest, the annoying thought in the back of my head was consistently that he wouldn’t be able to hold out, wouldn’t be able to wait and would simply have to fuck it out of his system with somebody because I just wasn’t ready. I liked him, but I didn’t fully trust him enough to hand over that part of myself to him just yet.

But he never did.

Spending time with him was even more fun, even more playful. He told awful jokes, sending me into fits of laughter over and over again. But although we talked, there was always something… Off. Everyone had secrets, but there was just something about him that seemed a little more closed off than the average person.

He’d occasionally get phone calls and excuse himself on dates, coming back and being oddly quiet and distant afterwards. It was disconcerting, but I tried to not let my imagination go into overdrive. It was hard, but like I said. I hated secrets, so I remained blissfully ignorant.

Stupid, right?

One morning, after a couple of weeks of seeing Mickey, I got a phone call from Randy. I realized, over the last few weeks, I hadn’t really seen much of him. Of course, that was completely my fault and I felt terrible, so I eagerly agreed to meet up with him to talk.

I sat in the library, picking at my nails, and I felt nervous. Why did I feel so worried about seeing Randy? Because the kid saw straight through me. He’d know instantly if I lied to him about absolutely anything, and I hated knowing that I couldn’t tell him about one of the few things that brought even a small smattering of joy to my life.

He wouldn’t understand.

When I heard the doors swing open and glanced up and saw Randy walking down the small aisle, a halfhearted smile on his face as he sent a little wave my way as he approached me.

I smiled widely back at him before he settled down across the table from me with a sarcastic, “Long time no see.” My smile falls, and he asks, “Where the hell have you been?”

“I’ve been busy.” I replied with a dismissive wave of my hand before dropping it to fidget with one of the rings on my fingers. His eyes dropped to the action, eyebrows raising a fraction.

“Busy with Mickey?” He asked, a strange and almost biting tone to his voice that made me give him a look. He was refusing to look at me, as if caught up in how nimble fingers twirled the ring around and around.

“Don’t start, Randy.” I said with a sigh, I stopped fussing with polished sliver, leaning back on the chair.

His eyes are back on me as he insists, “We don’t talk anymore, Dahlia. We haven’t in weeks, and I’m assuming that’s thanks to him.”

I said nothing, simply staring at him with narrowed eyes.

A beat of silence, heavier than I’d like. He breaks the tension and says just what I expected him to, “You lied to me, you told me nothing was going on between you and Mi-“

“Why the hell do you care?” I interrupted him, my voice sharper than I intended it to be. I don’t soften my tone as I continue, “So what I’m hanging out with him, why the fuck does it matter, Randy?”

“Jesus Christ, Dahlia. Don’t be so transparent, you’re a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them.” Randy rolled his eyes, before his hand came up, rubbing over his face before he continued, “He’s a fucking asshole, why would you waste your time on him? After everything you’ve been through with-“

“You know what-“ I interrupted him again, standing up, palms smacking against the wood as I did, Randy jumping slightly at how loud and sudden it was. I leaned over, snatching my bag off the seat next to me with a scoff, “- Fuck this. You’re the one who told me that Mickey makes me seem like a person again, and now you’re telling me I’m wasting my time with him? Fuck you, I don’t owe you or anyone else an explanation, so get off my dick.” I snapped as I angrily walked behind his chair toward the exit.

“Yeah, spoken like a true fucking lady. You know what, don’t come crying to me when he breaks your heart, Dahlia.” Randy swivelled in his chair, staring at my retreating form as he yelled after me, earning a few angrily hushed whispers from other students.

I ignore him, hands hit the door hard, swinging it open and stepping out into the bright sunlight again. As soon as I was outside, I sucked in the fresh air, the door swings closed, and I stepped to the side, my eyes closing as I leaned against the cool brick of the building.

I loved Randy, he meant the world to me, but his growing dislike for Mickey at that moment was killing me. I hated it. I hated that my best friend only somewhat tolerated the guy I was seeing and vice versa. Mickey had had plenty to say about Randy over the last couple of weeks, stuff I instantly shut down.

“Come on, Dahl,” Mickey had said with a roll of his eyes as he sat on my bed, snatching up my pillow and shaking it out, before putting it back down and leaning against it, he was looking at me with an amused expression, “Meeks is down bad for you and everyone can fucking see it!”

“Someone jealous?” I’d asked playfully, walking over to him, a knee hitting the mattress, his eyes dropped momentarily before flicking back up to meet my gaze, as I get onto the bed. A few easy moves on my knees and then perching myself on his lap. His hands automatically rested on my waist as the breathtaking smile took over his face.

“No, I’m just observant. I don’t do jealousy.” He’d said nonchalantly with a slight shrug.

“Oh, you don’t do jealously?” I scoffed, hands moving to the back of his neck, fingers lacing together and pressing over his spine. “Bullshit.”

His smile shifts slightly, more of a half smirk as he asks, “What have I got to be jealous about? I’ve got you, he doesn’t, and he never fucking will.”

He had an edge to his voice, something I didn’t catch on to, and now? I desperately wish I did.

After I got home from the awful meeting with Randy, Mickey was already waiting for me, sat on my bed with his eyes glued to a television that definitely didn’t belong to me.

“How the hell did you get in here?” I asked with a sigh, tossing my keys into the bowl by the door and dropping my bag next to the door.

Mickey’s eyes flickered to me, a small smile on his lips as he shrugged, “Not gonna tell you that, let’s just say I’ve got my ways.” He replied, arms automatically opening to me. I obliged him, strode forward and fell onto the bed and into him, letting him take me into his arms and kiss me softly on the lips, the smile still present on his face.

“I got you a television and a VCR.” He mumbled against my mouth before pulling away and gesturing to it, “I’m going to get you back into movies if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Sure. And it’ll be the last thing you ever do if you try and get me to watch Halloween again.” I muttered back, making him chuckle and lie back down on the bed, carefully pulling me next to him.

“You look sad, what’s wrong?” he asked straight away, the smile quickly turning into a frown.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said softly, raising my finger to trace the small frown lines appearing on his face. “Let’s do something else then.” He said gently, moving to hover over me a little, his lips touching my throat, my jaw and then my lips softly. It had no hidden meaning behind it, just very tender and sweet, so much so it made my argument with Randy almost entirely leave me.

Almost.

The ending credits to a movie on the VCR were rolling, how long had he been here? We were making out in my bed, his hands were moving over my body, light as a feather and honestly, it felt good. I felt normal, no trauma, no pain, no memories. That was until, Mickey’s fingers lightly grazed over the scar of my stab wound.

Everything changed very quickly after that. It felt like all the air was sucked out of the room, stomach drops and heart pounds, sweat springs to the surface of my skin.

I could see everything. It was like I was there again and Billy Loomis stood over me, face furiously excited above me, his brown eyes wild and menacing as his body loomed over mine.

I felt his body lower, one of his hands gripping my throat as the cold steel of his knife embedded in my torso, once, twice, three times. I gasped, pathetically trying and failing to move, to push him off of me, but he just held me there, his strength far too much for me as he twisted the knife inside of me until I screamed soundlessly. My head twisting to the side and my eyes meeting Stu’s wide blue ones. He looked away, flinching just slightly at the weakening sounds of my agonized gasps. I could feel my own blood spilling from my stomach, staining the linoleum beneath me with a rapid flow, completely coating my skin, soaking into my shirt.

“Billy-“ Stu spoke, his tone strained as his eyes shifted to Billy, unable to look at me.

“She’s a loose fucking end, Stu! Family or not.” Billy spat, forcing his weight onto the knife as my body began to go limp, eyes still fixed on my cousin and unable to move away. If I was going to die, I wanted him to be the last person I saw. Not this part of him, but the fond memories. Growing up together, playing together in his backyard, wreaking havoc during family gatherings, “What? Do you really think she’s just not going to tell anyone what we did?”

“She wouldn’t-“ Stu tried uselessly to argue, but that’s the last thing I heard before everything turned black, and I gasped out a final breath.

“Dahlia? Dahlia- Ow, fuck, Dahlia!”

My eyes snapped open and Mickey had my hands pinned over my head. I gasped breathlessly, head falling down to look at my exposed stomach. No blood, just the healed over scar slightly protruding above the smooth surface of my skin.

Mickey’s eyes were confused and concerned as he stared down at me, finally releasing my wrists as he watched the realization wash over my face, the tears welling in my eyes.

I didn’t cry, I wasn’t that person anymore. But fuck, the tears suddenly wouldn’t stop as I stared up at Mickey, completely frozen as I noticed the slight faint red mark beginning to blossom across his cheek.

“What happened there, huh?” His voice was gentle as he slowly sat back on the bed, hair messy and ruffled from my fingers previously woven through the thick dark strands.

I shook my head once, arms shakily moving to wrap around myself protectively as my eyes moved to fixate on the wall, counting one, two, three, one, two, three over and over again in my head to try and relax myself.

“Dahl?” His voice was quiet, almost hesitant as he leaned forward a little, head tilted slightly to the side.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled quietly, still not being able to look him in the eye.

“For what? Oh, this?” His hand rose to his cheek and he chuckled gently with a shake of his head, “I’ve had worse.”

I sniffed once, forcing myself to look at him and reached out my fingers to lightly touch the flushed red skin and I sighed, cringing in embarrassment and guilt. “I’d never do that on purpose. I just-“ I sighed, dropping my hand and pulling my legs up to rest my forehead on my knees. He stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue.

“It hasn’t happened in a while, but sometimes I get these… Flashbacks of what happened in Woodsbro. It’s like I’m there again. So when you touched my scar, I guess it just brought it all back.”

My voice was muffled, but I knew he understood me when I felt his hand rest softly on my shoulder, and he said lightly, “Hey, we’ve all got our demons. It’s not going to be like that forever, Dahl.”

“I know. I’m sorry I hit you.” I peeked up at his face and was surprised to see he was half smiling at me, expression torn.

“Pfft, you’re sorry? You got a mean right hook on you baby, don’t apologize for that. At least I know you can protect yourself if-“ His voice trailed off quickly, and he shook his head, gently gripping my bicep in his large hand and pulling me next to him, “There’s no rush, okay? If you aren’t ready, if things are too much right now, we can wait.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, eyeing him and feeling a little skeptical. At that moment, Randy’s previous statement about Mickey breaking my heart couldn’t be ringing further from the truth.

His smile warmed, and he nodded, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into my arm. I didn’t miss the quick glance downward to my stab wound before his eyes flashed back to mine.

“It’s gross, I know.” I sighed, gently moving so I could tug my shirt down, self consciousness rife in the motion.

“Gross? No. I think it adds character.” He commented, letting go of my arm as his phone buzzed softly on my bedside table. He grabbed it quickly, eyes scanning whatever text he received with a small frown before he stood up, sliding his cell into his back pocket. He stood over me for a moment, his finger moving under my chin to lift my eyes from his disappeared phone and to his face as he spoke, “I gotta go ice my cheek,” he half joked, but his expression remained the same, “Are you going to be okay?”

I nodded, not trusting my voice as his head ducked down, responding to his lips halfheartedly, which he didn’t seem to notice as he left my dorm, leaving me sat on my bed staring at the closed door.

CHAPTER NINE HERE

[wihlted]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN. | respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have?

serena has been an oc of mine for almost like... ten years ♡ obviously she has changed a lot over the years, but her general appearance and demeanor have stayed the same. i've always loved writing soft girls, so that's something that's been consistent with her that i really enjoy. serena atp is just a part of me, she's like my favorite toy. i love writing her, no matter how long a hiatus i take, i always come back to her.

is there anything you don’t like to write?

uhhh not really, i enjoy writing most things! it just depends on my mood at the time. most of the time i don't enjoy writing or talking about smut. like i do, but i just need to be in the mood. and constantly talking about smut does get annoying for me ;w; (but i don't DISLIKE IT i have to be CLEAR)

is there anything you really enjoy writing?

i luuuuuv <333 writing romance <33 and shipping <33 i'm so annoying <33

but beyond that i also like absurd plots, and fun, ongoing complex plots that just become an entire universe ala the romy and love cinematic universe <3

how do you come up with headcanons?

i just sit and think about my muse! i listen to music, look at pinterest, talk and plot with my friends, and just look at media that reminds me of her. all of that brings me back to just thinking about her, and how that headcanon makes her more 'fleshed out' and if it conflicts with other things about her. and if it does conflict, is there a reason that makes sense?

do you write in silence or do you play music?

music. i actually really dislike writing in the silence. i almost always have something playing - usually just music or youtube.

do you plan your replies or wing them?

wing them!! i only ever really wing my replies, except with certain people that i talk about threads really in depth with. like, with romy, sometimes we'll really talk about a thread scene by scene with each other. i looooove getting to do that, especially since we can't always throw replies back and forth </3

do you enjoy shipping? 

YES i think shipping is really fun, and i'm a hopeless romantic with nowhere to put all that love <3 so i just live vicariously through serena. so i love writing those deep feelings, and I LOVE WRITING / READING PINING SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!!!! I LOVE PINING!!! sometimes the yearning is even better than the relationship to me.

what’s your alias/name?

love / rosalie / juliet

age?

25 ⊹♡

birthday?

may 13th!

favorite color?

pastel pink and white!

favorite song?

rn it's probably recency bias but i am LOVING eternal sunshine

last movie you watched?

uhh i genuinely do not remember

last show you watched?

currently watching 'deadly sins' which is just a true crime anthology connecting crimes to deadly sins. the presenter is kind of an asshole and his glasses look like cardboard.

last song you listened to?

eternal sunshine 𓁹‿𓁹

favorite food?

spicy tuna roll sushi / hibachi and literally plain steamed white rice

favorite season?

spring! i love the flowers and the aesthetic, the rain, the cool air. once my allergies get under control, i have a wonderful time!

do you have a tumblr best friend?

fuck THESE bitches in particular (doe romy abby n cassidy)

tagged by @tapalslegacy ty!!!!

TAGGING @sorehsu / @feelsinister / @shoelacestied / @musikensangel

[mushroomjar]

🔥 about anything vocaloid/vocal synths!

I may have a couple, I'll just list some of the ones I can think of rn (lmao Utsu-P started playing on shuffle as soon as I started writing this)

I don't think the goal of vocal synths should be to try to sound as realistic as possible. That can be a part of it, sure, but like, you can have so much fun with vocal synths precisely because they're not real human voices and they have been synthesized by computers, so many different sounds and stuff you can't accomplish with real human singers. I actually really like it when the computers sound like computers

I see a lot of complaining about how all vocaloid MVs these days are just a drawing of a character/the vocal synth doing a funny pose and having the lyrics appear on screen, and while I also have my gripes with how often these types of MVs are used... I started thinking about it and it's just blatantly untrue that all vsynth MVs are like this nowadays? Mitchie M has never done this for example (if he has I'm unaware of it like I'm genuinely trying to recall a time he did this and I can't recall any), Deco*27 this year alone released at least 3 songs with either fully animated videos or multiple drawings that tell a story, Slave.V-V-R has his somewhat more recent songs with Miku like Eeeeye which use MMD, and those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head, like there's still a bunch of more animated MVs for vocal synths and yet people don't talk much about them

Another thing people say about the "character doing a pose" MV is that it's more prominent now (I've even seen some people blame specific producers for this like Chinozo), and like, I get it, but at the same time, many of the classics of the vocaloid scene also used this formula. Romeo and Cinderella, Butterfly on Your Right Shoulder, World Is Mine, Luka Luka Night Fever, just to name a few, all used the "funky pose" formula, and many producers, like kiichi, have only ever done this type of MV (again, as far as I'm aware. Maybe kiichi does have animated MVs, but some of his more popular songs such as Love Love Nightmare and Virgo don't)

I think we just tend to remember it less? I don't know why that may be but I have some theories, like a lot of songs back then used to get fan MVs (eg Rolling Girl, World is Mine, Melt, etc), or just the way we listened to those songs was different, like when I was younger I used to listen to the songs by watching the Project Diva PVs and stuff, and now when I listen to songs I always try to actually link back to official uploads by the producers, which will inevitably not look the same

This one is an even vaguer theory, but it could also have to do with how often songs are released now? Like for example, Utsu-P releases new songs semi-frequently, so I feel like I can't fault him for not having fully animated MVs for every song (that and the fact that he has like five other music projects to worry about at the same time lmao), or Deco*27 and Inabakumori who I'd say release new songs with about the same frequency, it's like, idk maybe they don't have the time or resources to invest into more engaging MVs

I guess my TL;DR for my second unpopular opinion would be: yes, it's a bit annoying that so many vsynth MVs consist of "drawing of character doing funky pose", but like, we still get many animated MVs as well, and also this isn't something new it's always been present in the scene, so you can chill a bit

Wow this got so much longer than I expected! Anyway if anyone wants to add anything about any topics I mentioned please do, these are things that I'm really invested in talking about and I'd love to see other people's opinions on it

Ask game

[coolwali]

Minor Gaming Pet Peeves: Mandatory Story Breaks in Open World Games.

Hello everyone, today I want to talk about a pet peeve of mine I've seen in 2 open world games in particular, Spider-Man PS4 and Cyberpunk 2077. The feature in question is that certain points during certain missions, the game will tell the player to wait for a while before the next stage of the mission can begin. In Spider-Man's case, it's mostly limited to the main quest where after a major climactic event, Peter will say something like "that was intense, time to cool off for a while and go on patrol". Then the next main mission will not pop for a while, encouraging the player to partake in side activities. In Cyberpunk it's a similar case, only it can happen for any class of quests, not just main and the time to wait isn't consistent, seemingly being anywhere from a day in-game to several days + a few minutes.

Let's consider the pros; firstly it allows for story sanctioned breaks that may allow for more optimal pacing than if the player took the break during say, an urgent series of quests. It communicates to the player they can take a break now and it encourages the player to do some side content. It's also a nod to realism that some stuff takes a while to happen

But I find it not worth it and more annoying than anything.

Firstly, I like to play open world games by doing EVERYTHING before touching the main story and then blasting through the main story. So in Spider-Man, the game expects me to go out and do some side activities like finding backpacks or research labs, but I have already done everything. So I'm left just sitting there playing on my phone until the game lets me play the next story mission. For Cyberpunk, it's often not clear how long I have to wait. So I have to use the in-game sleep thing to sleep for 2-4 days at a time and then go around walk around for a while and hope the mission updates with the call. I imagine most players probably have some quests left when these breaks pop up so it's less of an issue but still.

Secondly, I find it interrupts the story more than it helps. Like in Cyberpunk, I want to see more of Panem's story, but there's frequent breaks and even if I have other quests to do, it feels like an interruption so I either have to go do other quests for a while or sleep for 4 days and then go and do another quest before I can finally get back to the storyline I am interested in. I'm going to go do all the quests anyway. This just feels unnecessary and it takes my agency. Plus it can seem punishing if you do some side questing before you get one of these waits, like if you had done your questing a couple missions later, your time wouldn't be wasted.

Imagine if you're watching the Mandalorian and part way through an episode you have to go the bathroom. Instead of just pausing the show to go to the bathroom, the Mando turns to the camera and goes "If anyone wants to go the bathroom, go now, I'll do nothing for the next 7 minutes aside from stand here and polish my guns or something". While that is generous, it wouldn't really be a fun or efficient idea. And if it did do that, most people would probably fast forward through it every time it happens because they don't have to go the bathroom at that moment. It's the same with video games, if I want to take a break to go do side quests, I'll do it anyway. I don't need the game to force me to do them. Plus if I do them early, I should be set for the rest of the game.

Now, I understand this is a minor issue in the grand scheme of things. The time wasted in doing these waits isn't so long. But regardless, are there ways to compromise so you maintain the positives while minimizing the negatives.

Solution 1: The Cyberpunk approach (ironically).

Cyberpunk has a solution for this. Some quests that ask you wait have a marker at the mission start area where V will sit and wait at and the next quest will start automatically. As an added bonus, it also adjusts the setting depending on the quest (like spawning NPCs and cars that are required for the quest). This helps because it maintains the appearance that time has to pass while still letting the player play on.

Solution 2: The Batman Arkham Knight Approach.

In Batman Arkham Knight, instead of asking the player to wait at certain points, the game just goes "Master Bruce, things have gotten quiet for now, you can use the time to go do side quests or keep investigating the Arkham Knight/Scarecrow i.e the Main Quest". The beneifit here is that it tells you the story is taking a lull for a short while but still gives the player full agency in what they have to do without wasting any time whatsoever.

But if we must have some waiting, there is one option:

Solution 3: The GTA V approach.

In GTA V, quests for heist prep activate after a while with a text message. But normally you have other quests also active or given to you at the same time so you always have something to while you wait. The smaller number of timed quests given at specific times also mean there is way less of a chance the player has nothing to do but wait even if they do all the side content first. Personally, I'm still not fond of this because it means I have to step away from the heist missions I'm so interested in.

So what are your thoughts?

[fishylife]

i have a classmate from high school. we carpooled from school together for several years, so for those years, we spent a lot of time together and i'd say we were pretty friendly. towards the end of high school, we no longer carpooled, and we also naturally veered towards our own interests. but it was a pretty small school so we were still talking like every day.

i think maybe that over those years, we might have spent too much time together. because towards the end of high school, there were some times when i felt annoyed by her. but again, we were still friends.

after high school, we only sent birthday greetings, occasionally holiday greetings. i generally send birthday greetings to all of my friends but it's not common to receive them. she was one of the few who consistently did so, so to be polite, i returned them. it's continued on to this day, over 10 years later. we exchange greetings, we update each other. it's extremely civil.

despite keeping this ongoing correspondence, i have no interest in deepening (or re-deepening our friendship). i thought that perhaps some of it was jealousy and resentment. she's found great career success. she's getting married today (has been engaged since last year). meanwhile, i'm the loser who's never moved out, never worked for a big internationally company like her, never moved to a whole new different place for work and established independence. maybe because we spent so much time together as young people, i can't help but measure myself up against her.

i'm not sure if there's something else that makes me not want to spend time with her. maybe it is those small things that made me annoyed with her when we were in high school. which is completely unfair. i was 2000% cringey and annoying as fuck as a teenager. other people are allowed the same.

over the past year, every time we've corresponded, she's brought up her engagement/marriage. i say congratulations every time. weddings are a happy occasion. she also talks a lot about her situation, and i barely share much about mine. again, maybe it's the inferiority i feel. normally i feel resentment over not being asked questions. but i'm very whatever about it in this case because i don't have intentions on carrying out this conversation for too long.

since she kept bringing up her wedding, i thought i would just send her a quick congratulations message today, which is when she's getting married. she responded and said that maybe we could meet up in the future, next time she's in town. which i don't want to do. i very much see our relationship as parallel lines that only cross very occasionally (through quick birthday messages).

which i feel guilty about because literally what should i be holding against her? something she did or said in high school? clearly she never held anything against me so i know i'm being an asshole. but i just don't feel comfortable meeting up.

we have a mutual friend who i still meet up with regularly. this mutual friend has admitted to me that she hasn't contacted this friend at all ever since high school. so maybe i'm one of the few people that the friend still keeps in touch with.

i'm figuring out how to respond to the message without outright saying that i don't want to meet up. maybe i'll reply with a thumbs up emoji after like a week to show lack of enthusiasm. it's not like this meetup will happen in the near future anyway because she lives in another city on the other side of the country. i have no plans on visiting there, and i suspect she doesn't come back all that often.

people looking in on the outside will probably say that i need therapy or something. i agree with that. but for now i've been enjoying a very civil acquaintanceship where we painfully exchange messages and i would prefer to keep it that way.

[passingdaysthings]

02.13.24 - Holding it Together

Today is Tuesday.

I have been going to school full time as well as working full time for sometime now. To be more exact, I have been doing it for about 6 weeks because I am currently in my 6th week of this quarter. I was holding it together pretty well, but I think I really need to get my priorities right. I need to be spending more time on my Machine Learning homework than my Algorithms one. My ML assignments are much longer and more involved than my Alg ones, and there are only 5 assignments for ML, so that means I don't have a buffer or anything. There is also no final for the class. I got a B on my first assignment and an A on my second one. I am hoping to get another A on this 3rd assignment, but I am turning it in late which means I automatically get 10% knocked off my grade. I was doing very well going to the gym at 5am, going to work, taking a short nap, and doing my assignments, but this week is just harder. I think I am having a hard time this week because I chose to slack off on Friday AND Sunday, and I didn't work on any assignment. That was a terrible idea. I shouldn't have spent all Sunday doing nothing. Especially because I have a huge learning curve in my classes right now. I had a little mental breakdown today, and poor Taylor caught some of it. I called him to hangout, but then I abruptly hung up on him because I was pissed off. I am pretty sure he is mad at me though because I tried to call back and apology, but he ignored my call. I know he ignore the call because he responded to my apology right away on snapchat. I don't blame him though because I was being rude. I also told him that I would watch Pokemon tiktoks with him, but I couldn't mentally do it. I need to get over feeling bad about it though because I don't owe him anything. I apologized, and he said it was fine. I hate when I do things, and then the feeling of guilt hits me. It's really annoying, and I am sure it was not that big of a deal to him.

I can't wait to be done with school. I just don't want to do it anymore. Everyday day is genuinely so hard, and I am trying so hard to hold it together. It definitely gets harder day by day too. I am also becoming really self-conscious about myself looks wise. I realized recently that I have been extremely harsh on myself when it comes to my looks because I have even thought about getting botox. I have already been insecure about my round/big face, but I have never thought about getting plastic surgery. That's how I know that I have been on Instagram too much. I think I am going to go on an Instagram cleanse for the next month or so because it's really ruining my mental health. It doesn't help that most of my feed is kpop, make up, and working out. All those things involve my looks. I do not think I am ugly per say, but I do wish there were things I could change about myself. I am currently working on things that I can change though, and I am proud of myself. I would be best that I take this week off and focus a little more on school though. I'll go back to working out next week or over the weekend while I am at Hailey's cat sitting. I also need to be more careful about what I eat. I ate a lot today, and i am not feeling so great.

Get it together Paula, you're almost done:

Remind yourself that you can do this. You've been doing it for more than a year.

You only have 2 quarters/4 classes left after this.

You are will always have things you want to change. Focus on things that are in your control.

Taylor is not someone you should harp on. He won't be in your future.

Keep working out consistently and eating properly. This is change that you can control.

Stop spending so much fucking money on useless shit. You don't need anymore Pokémon cards.

You got this. Pull yourself together.

-P I am adding this after because I was reading around last Christmas (2022) time, and the difference in mine and Taylor friendship is crazy. He barely talked to me last Christmas, but we literally spent Christmas together this year. We even opened advent calendars together, and he ignored his friends from like 2 weeks because I was on break from school and in town. Absolutely wild. We don't talk about sleeping as much anymore. Thank god, and I hope it continues this way long enough that it just stops. I did try to stop it on Oct, but it ended up happening again around Dec. There is something about our 3 month quiet periods. We will see around March/April how that goes, ig LOL.

[indecisive-dizzy]

I have more ideas because yes

Daisey still had three evil exes that consist of Holly and two other ocs of mine (Andreas and Kiko) but I think Howdy just scares the three of them

Holly is kind of a bully character at the start but she warms up to the other neighbors (mainly the girls, she hates men relatable)

Eddie and Howdy experimented with each other in high school, that’s how Howdy figured out he was bi (my hc ofc)

They didn’t work out romantically but they’re still super close

Daisey can carry Howdy. I just think that’s funny considering Howdy is almost twice their height

Howdy moved out of his parents’s house when he was barely 18 because his parents kept treating him like trash for not being as “accomplished” as his siblings. The only reason he still talks to them is for his siblings’s sake

Howdy stayed at Eddie’s place after he left home, he bunked in the guest bedroom and helped with chores around the house while he looked for a job to pay rent (it wasn’t required, but he still wanted to pay because they were super sweet to let him stay)

Howdy took care of Lizzy the most, even suggesting the nickname Lizzy to begin with. Everyone just called her Ellie before that and she hated that nickname. That’s why she stayed with him after the whole turning into a butterfly thing

Howdy drives Lizzy to school and embarrasses her like an dad plying loud music to annoy her when dropping her off at the school

Holly is an ice skater, she wins local competitions all the time. Wallace is a photographer, his portfolio is full of pictures of Holly performing. He just liked taking photos of his sister being happy

Daisey cries when wintertime comes around. They just can’t stand to see all the plants die because of the cold. They legit cry over every little flower they see dead and covered in snow on the ground. They get cuddles as a form of consolation

Frank knits in his spare time, he makes scarfs for all his neighbors

Sally and Holly are besties. Sassy besties/gfs maybe?? 💅

Wallace might or might not have a crush on Barnaby, Holly judges him immensely for it because she thinks Barnaby is stinky and weird and very annoying(she’s half true), but whatever makes her brother happy I suppose

Andreas and Howdy don’t get along. Andreas reminds Howdy of a very specific brother of his and he wants nothing to do with it

This is random but everyone does karaoke

Again, I put too many :,>

Also I’m just gonna put it here, if you have any ideas or questions or just anything you want to share with me, don’t be scared to send an ask! I like hearing other people’s ideas :D

Howdy scaring anyone is hilarious to me, with what? His insane scamming- I mean Business techniques?

Ah yes Eddie and Howdy having dated at some point is great. Howdy would rather it Not be mentioned I imagine while Eddie is just proud of himself for being Howdy's Bi Awakening pfff

And just everything about Howdy staying with Eddie's family, just,, yes. Love it

Howdy being the extremely embarrassing dad/older brother checks out lol

I feel like Holly would threaten someone with her skates,, and mean it. Sally is very impressed and encourages it haha

I also cry when my favorite tree loses it leaves/flowers so me too Daisey

Frank and Poppy get together to have tea, knit, and gossip. It's canon I was there I promise

Wallace go get your dog, don't let anyone stop you lol

hell yeah karaoke. Sally gets really into it. Frank and Julie are dueting. Wally is just reading the lyrics.

[finned-fish]

Vent Post

⚠️Trigger WARNING⚠️

Physical Abu//, Sui//, Sui//al ideation.

Really do hate interacting with new people. It's been so long since I've done that. Well, did it today in phasmo and rediscovered that I am a nuisance to all.

I am that "everybody leaves me" person, except it's more accurate to say they don't interact with me on a closer level in the first place. People do figure out why.

Autism, OCD, ADHD combined type, Chronic Generalized Anxiety, Chronic Major Depressive. All diagnoses of mine. Traumatized regularly and consistently.

I forgot that I talk too much, or that I do something wrong. Idk what I do. I don't know what it is about me but no matter how much I mask, mirror, or even script up entire new personalities, I'm just off-putting. People dislike me. Either that or they coddle me. Treat me like some young adolescent that still needs to learn how to properly communicate and interact with others. I hate it.

I always see people talk about how horrible the "everybody leaves me" person is, or the "nobody wants to be friends with me" person is. Someone was talking abt that and said "especially when they don't even know why." I don't know why. I don't know what I do wrong. Nobody will tell me. It doesn't seem like I've wildly offended anyone. I don't know what I do. If someone just told me what I do wrong I'd fix it. Why am I such a problem? What do I do wrong?

I'm consistently ignored, undermined, dismissed, and coddled.

That or I'm constantly annoying, frustrating, too loud, or too talkative.

I try so hard to be right for other people.

And I hate it when people give me that fucking "just be yourself bullshit." All that "being myself" got me was severe physical beatings multiple times a day.

I'm supposed to move in with the two people I love most. Never in my life have I cherished a connection as much as I do with these people.

Even when I had someone who I was deeply in love with and who was deeply in love with me. She gave me everything and accepted me purely as I was. And then she killed herself. And I didn't know to cherish the connection more. I cherished her more than anything, but I did not know then that cherishing her and cherishing our connection were two different things.

So I don't know if I can move in with these two people. If I am that "everybody leaves me/nobody wants to be friends with me person", I don't want to interact with them or hurt them like all those videos and all those people say the "everyone leaves/no friends" person does.

What should I do? I don't know what to do. I've hovered my finger over that block button so many times. To just disappear.

Is it greedy not to? Should I just disappear for them? Am I being selfish? I love these two people so much, and I don't want to disappear from them.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just sinking. I'm so comfortable with them and I am myself around both of them, and every time I say something or send a message, it feels like I pinched a nerve. I worry so severely that I've done something wrong. It doesn't even matter if they're typing their response or talking to me, I still worry.

And I try to act like I don't worry. I don't constantly put myself down or require constant reassurance from them. I am not forcing a codependent relationship or anything. So I don't think that's it either, since I do a pretty good job of that.

I don't know what I'll do when it comes time to move in. I can't imagine myself getting any better or being any better by then. At so many different points at my life I've been sure that I reached my max potential and still wasn't enough, and I was wrong. It's happened over and over and over again. And after all those times of still getting better, I'm also still not enough. And once again I'm at a point where I think I've reached my max potential. And that there is nothing left for me.

And so now I just wonder how long I can keep going before I make a decision? I have such a strong feeling of doom. And I know what it is. I feel it in the strings, and I know that I'm only going in one of two directions.

I move in with them, and that's as far as I can see. The strings end there. Or I fall the other direction.

If I may be dramatic for a moment:

It's a massive pit. It's oozing such horrible doom. I can't describe the potency of it other than saying that it squelches out and climbs up the strings that I feel are tugging me into it.

And saying these "two directions" I already know I'm only going in one already. I am careening towards suicide so rapidly. I think I just didn't wanna sound utterly hopeless or cliché but there isn't another direction. No strings pulling me towards those two. I look and there's none. And I'm not going to make any.

I don't know when I will commit, but I know it's going to happen within the next six months. It feels somewhere between late January and early April.

Is it cold or heartless to be this analytical? Is that the problem? I can use "both halves" of my brain — emotional and intellectual — in tandem and as completely separate entities. It's not the same as turning my emotions off, either. No matter how heightened my emotional state it I have perfect analytical clarity. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe people can somehow feel that and they don't like it.

Now i do feel heartless. I feel entirely neutral — and even at peace — when I ask myself "which part do I cull?"

And I don't care, actually, because I'd do anything to fix myself. So I don't really feel anything about how horrible I imagine that ultimatum must sound to others. And even then I don't know if it sounds that horrible. But if I had to terminate one of those two parts of me I wouldn't hesitate, I just need to figure out which one it is.

And unfortunately, there's no strings with the answer to that.