#i can dance + have an excellent sense of rhythm

[feirceangel]

Imagine | Dance (Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen)

Imagine Feyd attending a ball and being bored to tears until you appear in the crowd.

A/n- thanks to everyone who read and supported my other Feyd fic!! I hope you all enjoy this one too :)

Word Count: 1,353

Warnings: none

The ballroom is overrun with diplomats and politicians. All dressed up in their very best attire, each one is hoping to impress those richer and more influential than themselves.

Feyd observes with a bored demeanour, swirling the blood red wine in his goblet. He’s leaning against a white pillar, staring out at the people with keen dark eyes.

A celebration of this degree isn’t something to be missed, his Uncle had said, insisting on his attendance.

So he attends, although he is bored from the lack of any meaningful conversations or actions. The feast was the best part, his favourite piece a bloody rare steak that practically melted in his mouth.

No one has come to speak with him out of a desire to just chat. No, each person who spoke had an ulterior motive and fear in their eyes. They want to be on the Harkonnen’s good side, lest they become victims instead. So, they chat about inconsequential things, all the while their hands shake and betray their frayed nerves.

Feyd found it amusing at first, but has since grown tired of it. These fickle politics and the endless pursuit of money. Money and power make this universe worth living in.

Music begins to play, a sensual drum beat joined by the strumming of string instruments and an angelic vocalizer. The sea of mingling people part as they allow the dancers the necessary space to move.

Feyd’s lips curl as he watches people join in the dance, the ballroom finally used for its original purpose.

People in skin tight dresses, fashionable suits, those showing too much skin, some showing none- the room is flooded with a menagerie of humans.

Each one is dancing with a partner, bending and swaying to the rhythm. All accept one.

He watches her move in perfect synchronization with the lilting music, lifting her arms high in the air. She avoids the stuffy aristocratic dancers who hardly allow the music to carry them.

She looks like a woman possessed. As if the melody has taken root deep within her and bids her to perform a marvellous spell.

It must be a spell, for he finds himself bewitched.

No one else has captured his attention so profoundly this whole event. He hasn’t even spoken with her yet and oh how he wishes too.

He must.

Feyd has never before desired to dance. Not unless it was the dance of battle, of blades clashing and blood dripping.

You have changed that.

As he watches you deftly twirling and clapping gently to the song, he cannot stop his body from acting on its own accord.

And Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen, fearsome warrior, finds himself pushing through the crowd to join you in your hypnotic dance.

You notice when the handsome stranger leaves his spot by the pillar, his eyes fixated only on you. You’re not sure how to feel.

During the dinner, you had walked by him on the way to your designated place. You’re from a minor house, not fit to sit with the guests from the major ones. Not that you minded, it’s always been this way.

He had caught your attention immediately. Brooding and gorgeous, with full, sensual lips and the palest skin you’ve ever seen, how could you resist admiring him?

He hadn’t noticed you then.

He notices you now.

A soft smile graces your lips as he reaches you, dark eyes boring into yours. You stop as he reaches out a sculpted hand.

You take it.

His hand is warm, and you can sense the strength hiding just beneath his skin. This man is dangerous, you realized that when you first spotted him.

To your surprise, he is an excellent dancer, leading you in perfect harmony to the music. You can barely hear the music over the pounding of your heart.

This wasn’t what you expected.

“You are a wonderful dancer,” you whisper once you’re close enough to hear each other.

His smirk is prideful, “A fighter must be lithe and nimble, my lady.”

His voice is raspy, deep. Again, you are taken by surprise.

“You must be an excellent warrior too.”

You spin around, his hand guiding you. He has dropped his smile, replaced it with a predatory look reminiscent of a hungry panther.

“The best,” he replies, supporting your back as he dips you downwards.

The other dancers seem to fade away as you dance with him, this frightening stranger. His touches are like a fire unto you, his gaze a steady burning.

He dances as if it’s a battle of dominance. He leads without hesitation, and you answer with the fluidity and grace befitting a lady.

It’s exhilarating.

And it’s gone too soon as the music dies down and the other clap for the musicians.

Breathing heavily, you simply stare at this man who joined you in rapturous movement, not wanting it to end.

He hasn’t let go of your hand.

You don’t want him to.

“What’s your name?” You ask before he can slip away and disappear forever. If he did, you’d at least want to remember his name.

He smirks, “You don’t know me?”

“No, or I would not have asked,” you point out.

He chuckles, revealing blacked teeth, “I am na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen, my lady.”

You blink at this revelation. You’ve never met a Harkonnen before, let alone a such a high ranking one.

Feyd expects you to recoil in fright, surely knowing the brutality his house is known for. He is taken aback when you smile.

“I am pleased to meet you,” you in line your head slightly as you supply your own name.

He realizes his hand is still clasping yours and that you don’t seem to mind it one bit. Feyd gently tugs you towards him, “Come, it is too crowded here.”

Perhaps foolishly, you allow yourself to be led away from the ballroom and into a quiet hall.

It’s late, and you can see the stars through the sheer curtains of the hallway.

“Are you enjoying the festivities? You seemed unhappy,” you ask. “I saw you by the pillar.”

“I was bored,” he admits without care. “Before the dance.”

“And now?”

“And now I have welcome company and my boredom has fled in the wake of your beauty.”

He traces a hand, still so warm, down your cheek. You bask in the attention, wondering if this is all a dream you’ll wake from in a moment.

Feyd’s hand goes lower, until it grasps around your neck and tightens. Not enough to cause damage, but enough to still your breathing. With his grip tight, he pulls you forward and kisses you deeply.

It’s intoxicating.

He kisses like he dances, dominating and alluring. You bring your hands up to grip his shoulders as he continues his assault on your senses.

“Everything was dull until you danced into my sight,” he rasps as you catch your breath. “I’ve never seen such a vision.”

“I have never seen a man like you,” you confess, resting a hand on his chest. “You have such intensity…”

“Does it frighten you?”

“No, no it thrills me, my lord.”

The way those words roll off your tongue has Feyd hooked, his mouth latching onto your neck as he cups your face with one hand.

“Do you know what I’ve done?” He asks, unsure why he’s asking.

“I know you’ve danced beautifully,” you smile. “And I know your touch feels electrifying. And I know you’re going to take me into an empty room.”

You withdraw from him slightly, awestruck at the hunger in his eyes.

“And what happens then?”

He retakes your hand, not too gently this time, and practically drags you to the nearest room, slamming the pen the door.

Luckily, no one is in there.

“You know what happens next,” you say, already stripping him of his fine shirt before doing the same to yourself.

Feyd is glad he decided to come to this festival, thanking his lucky stars as he stares in awe at your beauty.

He wonders if you make love as spellbindingly as you dance.

He’ll soon find out.

[yunarim]

It's me again, but hear me out:

Chenya asking out his girlfriend for prom that nrc and rsa share, with the help of Trey and Riddle

I'm just so in love with Chenya sorry—

- Reveluv anon

☆ ͡ ݂ SYNOPSIS : CHENYA asking you out for a prom night held for an event shared with rsa & nrc (with the help of trey and riddle but it turned a little wild)

>。TAGS : fem reader (she/her pronouns), reader is yuu, fluff, crack a little, random allusion to 'feel my rhythm' by red velvet near the end just because it fits, implied features of prom nights are mainly based on the country where i live (they don't really contradict with the most popular ones but since in where i live we've got two prom nights, i decided to entertain you a little with the first one we have which is not even a prom night jdksajl) 🌸。NOTES : where i live, there is a dancing ball happening every year after high-schoolers graduate. students perform different types of dances and everything ends with a waltz they personally arrange during rehearsals. it happens by the end of spring, you can see students dancing everywhere, mainly in the city centre. this is the same for the fic! ~

>。SONG : blooming day — exo-cbx (actually the whole album itself fits the fic vibe SO well) — W.C : 2.5k

Chenya was always good at guiding people.

It could be his adorable underclassmen dwarfs getting lost in nrc’s spiral-looking streets during VDC and asking Chenya for help. It also could be senior citizens wondering where a certain building is located now that they live in a city resembling a plastic lxgo constructed dollhouse. Chenya would offer his help to anyone who was in need of that, and sometimes his naturally excellent sense of orientation in space wasn’t limited to directions only. He was also a great guide, helping out people to find a way out from the most difficult situations that happened throughout their lives.

Just like he once did when he first met Ramshackle Prefect from NRC. 

What an interesting otherworldly looking human it was! A little guidance carefully revamped to a riddle (pun intended), as if colorfully wrapped candy from Chenya was enough for Prefect to let a little ‘Ah!’ escape her lips before realization hit her. 

Group chat they had with Trey and Riddle reminded him of Ramshackle dorm Prefect told him about when he was secretly enjoying sweet tarts after the disarray situation that happened to Riddle was resolved. The chat was long ago abandoned like the Ramshackle dorm itself.

And was renovated just in the same way.

It was September when Chenya first asked for the Prefect's phone number and found out she didn't have a phone in the first place. What a wondrous turn of events! He kept up with newest technologies but also preferred to go to places himself, half-transparent or not. 

Chenya also remembered how Trey asked if he got a crush on magicless Prefect, but Chenya only grinned mysteriously, replying with one of his favorite riddles thereby letting Trey remain confused. 

To Chenya, it was even better. Prefect was a funny and interesting creature. What a joy it was to find out she was quick to catch on the hint he dropped. Not only did she figure out everything so quickly, she even thanked him for giving a hint on how to resolve Riddle’s case in a way he enjoyed the most. 

He sneaked into NRC once after that, finally witnessing the Ramshackle dorm and its self-proclaimed dorm leader… doing laundry on a sunny Sunday morning. 

How sweet of her it was to suggest them having a small tea party held only for the two of them. 

Chenya didn't notice how he started visiting her once in a while until he got spotted by the Headmaster. Sneaking out into NRC became a little problem, and even if he was highly interested in Ramshackle Prefect, he also couldn’t have let teachers and a headmaster know there was a girl in all boys school attending NRC without having a school record. Not mentioning she had that otherworldly aura around her and most certainly was from another dimension was no doubt, too.

He asked her out during VDC. Needless to say it was the most strangest confession ever made in world history (Chenya isn’t sure which world exactly) which got trended on MagiCam for its sweetness and now is a symbol of VDC held this year.

And now Chenya realized that maybe Prefect not having a phone could be a real problem. 

She was okay with Chenya sneaking out to see her but most of the dates they had by now were only his initiative since they couldn’t really contact each other. And now the guide who was excellent in explaining directions or giving advice realized he needs guidance himself.

Now that this year’s high-schoolers graduation was near and RSA with NRC being two the most elite colleges for students to try enrolling, Chenya was extremely busy. He already participated in a similar event with the only difference being that it was held by RSA only. He remembered Riddle sighing in disappointment when he mentioned that NRC headmaster is, how he put it, ‘can be rather greedy at times’, so this year a brand new program was about to be held.

So, according to the program both RSA (mostly RSA—) and NRC headmasters decided on, the main part of the event will be held on NRC territory with RSA’s promotions. Needless to say, Neige's upcoming performance alone was enough to attract a lot of visitors. 

The only problem was finding a partner for a dance ball.

Normally it was high-schoolers who danced around, enjoying their long-awaited escape from school and preparation to college. But of course this year just had to be different, so this time college students must have participated too. And if before they just helped arrange a stage and such, or performed occasionally (which only applied to Niege and Vil actually—), this year every first- and third-year student should have participated. Headmasters said something about first years welcoming their future underclassmen and third-years symbolizing their future graduation and role models to follow. 

It sounded fun. It really was, but Chenya also wanted to ask his girlfriend out to be his partner for the dance ball. 

Trite ways of asking her out were out of question: there’s no way he would casually sneak into Ramshackle and say ‘Hey, there’s a ball coming, want to be my partner?’— NO, that’s too boring! He wasn’t even sure if they would allow her to participate and if she had similar things in her world too. Not to mention Chenya himself was preoccupied with too many things to handle to the point it was only one day left before the event. 

So he came up with another plan and got a trick up his sleeve. 

“Does she knyaw there’s an event coming up?” Chenya asked, floating midair and stealing a cupcake Trey was preparing. No wonder he was part of a student group preparing snacks for people to have while they’re enjoying the ball.

“I don’t believe she’s aware,” Riddle answered, drawing his magic Pen in a scolding way and throwed a quick glance to Chenya, knowing perfectly well he can’t be stopped. “She’s been busy after, ahem… You see…”

Yep, she told him about recent Overblot happened but Chenya just nodded, helping Riddle to escape growing uncomfortable silence. He knew Overblots were dangerous and they should have remained unnoticed by RSA out of all people.

“I believe she can participate though,” Trey said, measuring milk milliliters needed for baking. “I mean, no one will suspect she attends NRC since we can choose partners from other colleges if colleges at all.”

“Seriously, I can just ask Ace and Deuce to find her and call here,” Riddle said, writing something in his notebook. Of course he was the one arranging something.

“Nya-h,” Chenya replied, his tail wiggling, showing how entertaining it was to plan asking his girlfriend out to be his partner. “Don’t, she needs proper rest. After all that happened, nya.”

Riddle blinked at him. It was a mystery how Chenya managed to drop something really reasonable out of nowhere and then continue his tangled charades. 

“Buu~ut, I also want her to rewind a little and have some fun tomorrow, which is why…” Chenya lowered himself to match Riddle’s height. “I need you to help me shape a road to take~”

“Wha–” Trey asked, confused. “What do you even mean by that?”

“Alice should enjoy her adventure, coming all the way through the looking-glass by herself~”

“What in the world do you even mean…”

“What I want to say is,” he snatched one more cupcake, and with that only his head and hand holding the sweet left floating. “Guide my Alice to the right place tomorrow. See nya until then!”

“He’s insane,” Trey sighed. 

“We’re all mad here.”

You didn’t get the meaning of the “DRINK ME” bottle that suddenly appeared on the nightstand next to your bed. It was suspicious but you couldn’t really care less when you already somehow managed to survive almost a year here.

You’ve noticed it was weirdly noisy today. Everyone looked as if there was a world’s end coming up with what hurry they moved in the halls, as if practicing some sort of… a dance?

You’ve managed to spot Riddle heading your way.

“Just in time,” you realized he looked even more tired than he always was. “Excuse me for the confusion we might cause to you, but…”

“We?” You asked when Trey suddenly appeared behind you and gently put his hands on your shoulders, guiding you to the main street. “Hey, what’s happening?”

“Guys I can walk by myself, thank you very much, but also please elaborate.”

“Do you happen to have a strange-looking bottle by any chance?..”

You nodded when Trey let go of you and you just couldn’t help but follow them. “Yeah, why?”

“Good,” Riddle sighed. “Please drink it right when we arrive at the venue. It’s not poisonous.”

“Venue, you say?..” Somehow you learnt not to question when something they offer you to drink was poisonous or not. 

You’ve been really tired after the recent Overblot and apparently missing something really important.

When you finally made your way to the venue, you noticed how many neatly dressed students were laughing, taking photos and occasionally dancing here and there. You parted your lips, stunned, and couldn’t take your eyes off everything looking so colorful and fun. 

“Now it’s time for you to drink the potion,” Trey advised. “And then… how was it…”

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road can take you there,” Riddle replied instead of Trey, and you finally caught a note of something familiar in his words.

“Hey, this way of wording, are you perhaps…”

“You’ll get everything right after,” Trey smiled reassuringly. 

You shrugged your shoulders and decided to give it a try. The potion tasted like something sweet, but not extremely sugary sweet, and you suddenly felt ticklish. One blink, and you realized something happened to your uniform.

“He… he knew what he was doing,” Trey whispered to Riddle and received a nod in return.

“You two,” you giggled, finding yourself in a beautiful dress, so that no one would suspect you study in NRC. “Could have just told me in a normal way and not played charades.”

“And credits go to your bo—”

“Alright, alright,” Riddle interrupted Trey. “Will you obediently follow the plan, Prefect? You can go now. According to the quote, you’ll find the right path yourself.”

“I will,” you smirked. “Though I’m not sure if I’ll do it obediently, as you’ve said. Thanks for guiding me though. See you later?”

“Yes, see you,” Riddle nodded and turned to Trey, resuming conversation with him. “I hope we’ll see her not on the news hot gossip column when we first did during VDC.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of it…”

You proceeded to wander around, occasionally taking photos with high-schoolers or other students who recognized ‘VDC Sweetheart’ in you, asking if it was okay to hang out with you later if your boyfriend would be fine with it. 

Was it kind of a… prom night? You happened to participate in one back in your world, but you never imagined something that grand. Popular Twisted Wonderland songs played everywhere and you even managed to jam to some of them. It’s been a year already since you got transmigrated here, not to mention your boyfriend always would hum a song or two when he dropped by. 

“Ah, my dear Ramshackle Prefect!~” A familiar voice caught you off guard and you noticed Crowley right when you turned around. “My my, why haven’t you told me you’re participating too! What a proactive kid you are, indeed. How wonderful!”

“Excuse me?..” You looked confused but also Crowley happened to ignore that little noise escaping your throat. 

“And with RSA student of all people! You’re truly remarkable, aren’t you? I can already foresee the great future with NRC finally putting RSA in the right pla— ahem, finally two schools getting to know each other’s customs better!”

“... Sure thing,” you smiled slyly. 

“Now come to the stage, they’re going to start soon.”

You dropped a little ‘thank you’ and rushed to the stage Crowley mentioned. Heart performed some spectacular flips right in your chest when you thought of Chenya… being your prom night partner.

You were a little late. Everyone was already standing on the stage with their partners, waiting for music to start and also throwing glances at Chenya, who was suspiciously alone right at the moment. 

A crowd gathered before the stage was trying to suppress you but you mumbled small ‘sorry, excuse me’ while trying to make your way to the stage, and when you finally did, music already started playing.

Pairs started waltzing, following a tenderly lovely rhythm, but you started panicking a little when you couldn’t manage to find Chenya from your position. The stage itself was a very high-placed platform which wasn’t really helpful for you at the moment. 

You thought of just rushing to the stage, maybe embarrassing yourself in the process, but suddenly an outstretched hand appeared before your eyes, and you looked up. 

“Chenya!” You exclaimed, not really noticing how everyone’s attention suddenly switched to you two. 

“Follow my heartbeat, would you be so kind?~”

You giggled when he helped you to get on the stage. One of his hands rested on your shoulder, while the other one went straight to the small of your back, as if guiding you. You noticed some of your friends dancing next to you, their eyes widening in shock when they saw you dressed so beautifully and having the best time of your life, your gaze fixated on Chenya only. 

“Didn’t knyaw you can dance~” Chenya said to you, pressing you a little closer to him. 

“I can say the same thing about you,” you smiled. “Actually come to think of it, it’s not unexpected. You can float so elegantly, it is no surprise your movements are so graceful on the land too.”

“I just have the best partner I could ever ask for,” his tail tickled your wrist when he noticed the song coming to an end. “Say, ready to do another mad thing?”

“For you? Always ready,” you giggled conspiratorially and loosen your grip on his shoulders, almost falling but Chenya was quick to catch you, drawing your hand to his face.

Everyone fell silent for a mere moment with the last song’s note finishing the performance, and Chenya left a little kiss on your knuckles before pressing sweeter one on your lips, welcoming audience’s applauses.

“You guys are so adorable!!”

“Imagine if those two would be idols, they would be so popular!!”

“Chenya, just reveal which college your girlfriend attends!!”

“AWWW VDC Sweetheart being so cute again!!”

You laughed, falling right into Chenya’s embrace. What was the last time you felt so free and happy?..

“Soo~ Would you like to see the other things we prepared? Also don’t think it was your only dance today~”

“Sure thing!” You answered cheerfully, grabbing his hand and guiding him off the stage. “There’s so many things I want to try today!”

Trey and Riddle watched you two running around like two little kids, small smiles plastered on their faces.

“And you expect that Prefect won’t go trending on MagiCam again?” Trey laughed.

“Never in my life was I so wrong.”

© yushiiae 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.

[nightswithkookmin]

SET ME FREE REVIEW #1

I said I wasn't going to write a review so I'm not writing one. This is just a commentary. Take a deep breathe, unclench your jaw amd brace yourself for this ride.

I want to start off by saying, admiting, and testifying that Jimin is a genius point blank period. His creativity, his duality, his delivery and execution in every single art work is an attestation to this fact.

If ever his ingenuity was in question, Set me free sets the record straight. It is only Park Jimin that can dare to assemble such imposing sounds, competing talents, daunting expanse and fine rhythm in one room under the single gaze of an equally brilliant director and not get lost in all that magical mashups.

The song is huge. BTS level huge. And for him to attempt to take on a song that takes 7 brilliant minds of our generation, him included, with varying vocal skills and talent- I must say, Jimin has some big balls on him and I respect him for that.

When I tell you my mind is blown, it is.

The song reminds me so much of BTS and everyone seems to agree. However when they say it's a nod to the group I disagree. I'll explain in a minute.

He draws on familiar elements and artistic devices that's signature to BTS as a group thus infusing among other things, nostalgia and that feeling of excellence and excitement we associate with BTS.

But that was the plan all along wasn't it? To show you he is not afraid take on a big shark like BTS or even to be compared to the brilliance of the group? Namjoon told us in words, Jimin just walked the talk.

I don't think this is a nod to BTS however. Because then we have to ask ourselves, is Jimin celebrating the band or has the band been celebrating Jimin all along.

This is bringing to light the artistic inspiration behind the creation of almost all BTS' master pieces. It's jimin. It's always been Jimin, the choreography, the beat, the visuals- everything has been inspired or created around him and his capabilities. The group has always leaned into his strengths in that way. It's why he transitions so well into it even as Solo.

Blackswan comes to mind. The stunning visuals, the contemporary dance styles, the concepts- everything was woven around Jimin. There are pieces of him intricately woven into the fabrics of BTS.

You can't have BTS without Jimin.

He is the secret ingredient that spiced up the group and this master piece of an MV shows it.

It makes sense to say there are songs that were made for BTS with Jimin in mind, choreographies inspired by him and that played to his strengths and uniqueness too.

It's why people accused him of being Hybe's favorite or the director's pet. The writing was on the wall.

Does this mean the others suck?

Yes.

I'm kidding😆

If you want to look at the strength of BTS you only have to look at the strength of the individual parts that make up BTS. From Namjoon's lyrical intellect, Hobi's versatility, Suga's unmatched flow, to even Tae's radiance- you cannot dispute that these men rose not by luck but by substance.

I used to think their Solo phase was them moving apart and away from their shared identity but now I think its the phase for each of them to model and strut across the biggest runway to show the world what they each bring to the golden table that is BTS. It's not a competition among themselves. Not at all. It's a review and examination of the parts that make up the whole and they all have something to prove.

And by Odin's beard, THEY WILL PROVE THEMSELVES. EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. IT'S IN THEIR BLOOD. IT'S THE BANGTAN SPIRIT.

He killed it.

He delivered.

Part two will focus more on the themes, visuals and vocal delivery. Look forward to it.

Hashtag drinking Hennessy. I saw what you did there Jimin. And if you read my blogs closely you'll see what I'm getting at.

Cheers Jimin 🍻

YOU DID IT

[svankmajerbaby]

ok i just watched the mina le video on movie musicals, and im still thinking about how movie musicals are marketed but most importantly to me, how theyre made

so bc musicals are "cringe", three movie musicals have been hiding the fact theyre not musicals in their trailers, and focused on selling, what else, nostalgia and the association with a previous intellectual property. in the actual context, its not a surprise, though it does mean theres a void of actual interesting movie musical projects. i personally think that the fact that we havent had a movie musical of the best original one made in years, hadestown, is a real shame... but considering that, even though its not a particularly hard musical to convert to screen, it would be extremely easy to fuck up through movie star casting and a bad choice of director who doesnt know their way around a musical number... still, i would like to see someone try.

but anyways.

what i personally have an issue with is the decision between movie actors who cant sing and stage actors who cant act in the way movie directors supposedly want. the choice to go with big movie actors the audiences are familiar with, and that also act like the audiences expect actors to act, is understandable. producers suppose actors can do anything if they try hard enough and they can carry a tune and do some dancing with the proper coaches and a month or two of rehearsals. but i personally am of the mind that a theater actor, a stage actor, is a much more valuable performer in a movie musical because they already know how to inhabit a musical character, how to move and interpret the overwhelming emotions a musical character needs to embody. besides, at least to me, the beauty of a musical is to see an amazing musical performance, that matches accordingly with a compelling story and characters. i wouldnt want to watch a billy elliot movie musical if it didnt have great dancing, for example. i wouldnt want to watch a wicked movie if the actors couldnt perform the songs perfectly in character. musicals are at their best, of course, when the music drives the story forward, and i feel like thats a skill that most directors dont have. the reason les mis didnt fully work for me is less because of the "realistic, flawed singing" (which did bother me at times, especially with the more action involved characters like valjean and javert) and because the cast was so badly directed and unbalanced. thats why something like west side story 2021 is so important to me: a movie with 99% musical theater actors, which are all well directed by a movie director who knows how to move the camera around the performers to instill a sense of dynamism and excitement. i maintain that choreographers in general should try directing movies. the in the heights movie, even if i didnt personally care for the music, was excellently directed because it was obvious the director had a sense of the rhythm the movie needed, and that the best way to convey that was through the camera. this is why i thought guy ritchie, an action director, would have been great for the aladdin live action remake –and then i was proven wrong. i keep blaming disney, though: watch the man from uncle and tell me ritchie wouldnt have been a pretty good movie musical director in other universe.

apart from the mean girls musical remake, which didnt even have that good a score in the first place, i do have faith in the future of movie musicals. if we need to go to already preexisting intellectual properties, and have five remakes to be able to have one original movie musical (even if that movie musical is something like la la land), it would have been worth it. i still dont understand why the entire cast of the west side story remake arent established cinema stars, apart from rachel zegler and ariana debose. or why there arent more opportunities for stage actors like amber gray and mike faist to make the jump to screen, or why tried and tested screen actors like amy adams and evan rachel wood who have proven that, given a score that allows for their specific voice types to shine, they can be great at performing movie musical roles. there isnt a bigger focus on the creativity i havent watched the color purple movie musical yet, but the fact that the director has worked with beyonce for her music videos immediately gives me hope that this is someone with the creativity and talent to know how to move the camera with the performers and the music. the wicked movie has the in the heights director, so even if the cast is half movie actors (i have little faith in jeff goldblum and michelle yeohs singing abilities tbh), i trust that at least it will be an entertaining watch. similarly, i try to have faith that, if the hercules live action remake gets out of preproduction, theyll have a strong set of muses actresses coming from stage musicals to carry the best songs, and that guy ritchie will be able to be more creative and take bigger risks –that is, if the evil mouse allows him to.

wonka was a decent, middle of the road movie that just works. to me, it didnt become the great musical it could have been because it didnt fully get the need for a stronger underlying darkness that makes the spirit of roald dahl, and because it kept tying itself with the mediocre 1971 movie. but i think it was a step in the right direction, with the right director and the right music, even if it relied too much on stunt casting.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Cha-Cha - An Enigma - Strictly NRC Dancing

Author Notes: And with this the Octatrio will all have their dance fics. I'm not gonna lie, I think Azul's turned out the best. But that could just be personal taste and/or the waltz speaking. While this specific dance doesn't have any inspiration the judges comments were heavily inspired by the judges comments on Milo Manheim and Whitney Carson’s Cha-Cha from Week 1 Season 27 of Dancing with the Stars. Just like the rest of this AU/series the reader is female for this fic. I hope you enjoy!

If you would like to read more this AU/series, the fics can be found here: Strictly NRC Dancing AU Master-List

Type: Dance Au/ Female reader/ fluff/ platonic but you could probably take it as romantic if you squint a little

Word count: 921

The cha-cha was a playful and rather flirtatious dance, which meant one would naturally want a partner that could keep up with such energy. 

Cater, Ace, Floyd, or Ruggie would be the individuals one would select simply based on that description. But my partner was not on that list.

That said, Jade had no trouble being playful or even flirty. In fact, despite his usual gentlemanly butler act, he seemed to excel at both things. 

What he apparently did not excel at, though, was dancing.

Jade wasn’t like Ace or Lilia, who threw in too many of their own moves, and he wasn’t like Riddle, whose dance was rather devoid of emotion. Jade followed the rules but also managed to get into the basic energy of the dance. 

His trouble also wasn’t that he was lacking in strength or coordination. 

In fact, one could even argue that Jade was rather elegant with little to no difficulty. But then, to be fair, all of the mermen of Octavinelle seemed to have a natural sort of grace.

But despite having the makings of a good dancer, Jade was not good. I couldn’t say he was exactly bad either, but… Well, dancing didn’t seem to come naturally to Octavinelle’s vice-housewarden. 

He perpetually needed polishing if Floyd’s instruction during off-hours at Monstro Lounge were anything to go by. 

It was an enigma, rather like Jade himself. How could someone be so innately graceful yet so unable to dance? Was it a simple lack of rhythm? But that didn’t make sense either, considering Jade could play both the upright bass and the bass guitar in the Octatrio’s band.

It was truly unfortunate, because even during choreography, I could tell Jade had the makings of a good dancer who would be a fun partner. 

He was capable of teasing his partner and having a good bit of fun, save for the fact that while he was dancing, he was so incredibly out of his comfort zone. Because Jade knew he wasn’t a good dancer. 

In fact, he’d fessed up to it the very moment I’d walked into choreography practice and saw him standing there.

“I’m afraid this is more in my brother’s realm of expertise…” He’d trailed off, a rather uncomfortable smile on his face. 

It had been startling since the only other time I’d ever seen Jade out of his comfort zone was usually when he was up at any height, such as during flight class. Other than that, the eel merman seemed to excel at everything. But now I knew something else he struggled with. Dancing.

Despite my usual habit of teasing, I didn’t even think of picking on the young man as we got ready for our performance. Instead, I ended up smiling reassuringly at him, “It’ll be okay. You’ll do fine, and even if you don’t pass this class, there are other dances that I’m sure you’ll be great at.”

The tight smile he gave me was all the answer I needed, but, ever polite, he still responded as he readied himself, “I appreciate the sentiment, Prefect. However, I'd prefer not to have to perform again. I do not relish making a fool of myself.”

I patted him affectionately because Jade wasn’t all bad and I couldn’t help but feel for the usually poised young man. 

Seeing Jade behave awkwardly was… unsettling.

 “You won’t. Just think: you’re going after Ace. As long as you don’t gyrate as much as he did, no one will mock you,” I smiled winningly up at the young man and received a flickering smile to his face, half-amused by my words.

“No, but Floyd will crucify me if I ruin this.” I laughed at his comment, drawing a smile to his face.

And that wasn’t the only time he smiled. In fact, he grinned at me throughout our performance. Slipping in little teasing remarks even as I could tell he was doing his very best to ignore the multitude of people watching.

But even then, he didn’t pass the class.

“Your timing was brilliant, and you have a wonderful stature for a good appearance while dancing. But,” Crewel paused, meeting Jade’s gaze, and the poor boy didn’t even look surprised. 

He just stood there. A polite smile on his face as he received his condemning grade.

“You unfortunately did not finish your moves, and this is common for a boy of your height,” Crewel finished, glancing over to see Trein nodding his agreement before picking up where the younger instructor left off.

“Yes, your height and the length of your limbs seemed to be your greatest trouble, Mr. Leech. You stopped your motions too soon and didn’t stretch all the way through your legs, and even ended up looking a little knobbly kneed sometimes.”

Crowley pressed his hand to his mouth, frowning slightly as he nodded before looking up at the young man next to me once more, “Yes… I’m afraid we cannot give a passing grade for this performance due to too many technical issues.”

Jade accepted his failure with grace, as expected, but I still found myself patting him on the arm as I leaned around to better look him in the eye, “Either way, you did good. And I don’t think Floyd will crucify you.” 

He paused, glancing over his shoulder with his signature sharp-toothed grin of his face that promised he was just as much trouble, if not more, than his chaotic brother. "True, I would give him a great deal of difficulty with that."

If you would like to read more:

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[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Do you have recommendations for autism-friendly (or sensory friendly) evening activities a person with ASD could partake in with their NT partner?

Hi there,

Many articles I’ve found focused more on children, but I did find on that lists some things to do. It’s a long excerpt, so I apologize in advance:

Deep pressure activities involve applying pressure to the body, which can have a calming and grounding effect. Examples of deep-pressure activities include:

* Weighted blankets or vests

* Compression clothing, such as compression shirts or pants

* Swaddling or wrapping the body in a blanket

Tactile activities explore different textures and sensations. Examples of tactile activities include:

* Trying out various water temperatures, like slightly warm, room temperature, cold, and ice

* Making patterns on a surface using wet brushes/sponges or squeeze bottles filled with water.

* Touching or playing with different fabrics, such as silk or faux fur

Visual stimulation activities use the sense of sight to promote relaxation. Examples of visual stimulation activities include:

* Watching calming videos or nature scenes

* Using a lava lamp or other visual sensory toys

* Using a lightbox or projector to display images or patterns

Examples of DIY Sensory Activities for Adults with Autism

Sensory Bottles

Sensory bottles are easy to make and can provide visual and tactile stimulation. Simply fill a plastic bottle with water, glitter, and other sensory items such as beads or sequins, and seal the lid tightly. Individuals can shake the bottle to create a soothing visual effect.

Sensory Bins

Create sensory bins by using a plastic storage container filled with various sensory items such as rice, beans, or sand. Add small toys or objects for individuals to explore and manipulate, such as small plastic animals or scoops and funnels.

Fidget Toys

Fidget toys are small handheld objects that individuals can manipulate to provide sensory stimulation and improve focus. Examples of DIY fidget toys include creating a sensory bag filled with different textures or making a stress ball using a balloon and filling it with rice or flour.

Sensory Activities for Adults with Autism

Sensory activities are important not only for children with autism but also for adults.

Here are seven examples of sensory activities for adults with autism:

1. Yoga

Yoga is an excellent sensory activity. It improves body awareness and proprioception while calming the nervous system. It also provides a structured and predictable environment, allowing individuals to feel more in control of their bodies. Plus, it's a low-impact physical activity that enhances their coordination and balance. Yoga classes can be tailored to meet the unique needs and abilities of individuals with autism, and modifications and props can be used to provide additional support.

2. Massage

If you're looking for a relaxing and sensory experience, consider trying massage therapy! Not only can it help reduce anxiety by providing deep pressure input, but it can also improve body awareness and leave you feeling calm and centered.

3. Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy involves using essential oils to promote relaxation and reduce anxiety. Certain scents, such as lavender, can be particularly calming and can promote better sleep.

4. Dance Party

Dance parties are a fun and engaging sensory activity for adults with autism. They improve listening skills, coordination, and rhythm. It's a positive outlet for energy and reduces stress and anxiety. Dance parties can be done alone or in a group in a safe and welcoming environment. It is a way to express oneself creatively and emotionally while boosting self-esteem and confidence.

5. Popping Bubble Wrap

Bubble wrap popping is a versatile and enjoyable sensory activity for all ages, including adults with autism. The bubbles provide tactile input, while the popping sound offers auditory feedback. It's a simple yet effective way to manage stress and anxiety and can be done using hands or feet, making it a great addition to any sensory tool kit.

6. Pottery

Working with clay and creating pottery can be a therapeutic and tactile activity for individuals with autism. It can provide a sense of control and accomplishment, as well as promote relaxation and stress relief. The tactile sensation of working with clay can also provide deep pressure input, which can help regulate the nervous system.

7. Autism-friendly Beanbag Chairs

Beanbag chairs offer a secure and snug spot for people with autism to unwind and take part in various activities, from reading to sensory games.

Hopefully you and your friend can find something to do with these. The link will be down below if you want to read more:

Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ❤️

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Kalim Al-Asim Bloom Birthday Personal Story: Part 2

"Happy Birthday"

(Part 1) Part 2 (Part 3)

[Scarabia Dorm – Birthday Party Venue]

Azul: I'm quite delighted to have learned something about you already, Kalim-san. Now then, here is the next question. It states…

Azul: "What is your best class?"

Kalim: I super love music!

Azul: Music class is most essential to help one's imagination develop for magic, and cannot be neglected. And for you to be talented in that is absolutely spectacular!

Kalim: Thanks for all the compliments, Azul!

Azul: There are various music classes, but what in particular do you excel in?

Kalim: That'd be singing and playing musical instruments. And when it comes to my singing, I tend to get a ton of praise from the professors.

Kalim: Uhh, they'd say something like… My voice is good in all the different ranges, and can hit all the right pitches.

Azul: I see. Then… Do you recall the assignment when we were required to use our magic to make water jump from bucket to bucket to the music?

Azul: May I ask what your results were?

Kalim: I got praised for my sense of rhythm!

Azul: Just for your sense of rhythm, I see… Well, understandable, that was a difficult assignment that also required competent magical skill, after all.

Kalim: Yeah, that's true. It was fun to sing, but the magic part was so hard that I couldn't really do it at all.

Kalim: But I'm always having fun in the music classes themselves.

Kalim: Like, the other day, when he had that one assignment where we had to play an instrument of our own choice, there was this one guy who picked a high-tempo song.

Kalim: As I was listening, my body started to just sway… And I ended up totally dancing along with the guy's performance!

Azul: During someone else's performance…? That's seems botherso… Ah, I mean, that seems entertaining, but it may distract the other person.

Kalim: Yeaaaah, that guy also told me to "stop, because it's distracting."

Kalim: But when I told him, "you were playing so amazing that I couldn't help it," he let me off in the end.

Kalim: But then, after that, he got super into playing it too, and then by the end, everyone in the class was clapping!

Kalim: Basically, that means that his playing and my dancing got everyone into a fun mood. See, this is why music is the best.

Azul: So, essentially, you were able to bring everyone together as one. How spectacular! Hahaha.

Azul: …And speaking of music, I am quite proficient at playing the piano. Would you care to perform with me sometime?

Kalim: Yeah, totally! I'll play my own instrument, and we can have a fun jam session, Azul.

Azul: A musical interlude with Kalim-san… Wonderful! Then, let us discuss dates and the like sometime later.

(Part 1) Part 2 (Part 3)

[rikastrology]

dhanishta + spencer (2021)

spoiler warning! (and tw for mentions of EDs)

nakshatras as movies i love

Charismatic and charming, these individuals are often born with an innate sense of physical or emotional rhythm and can make excellent dancers, choreographers, or athletes. However, this gift can present in other ways, such as Marilyn Monroe's (dhanishta moon) talent for micro-expressions and angle positioning while on camera.

Just so, Dhanishtas often see the world as a choreographed dance, with correct moves and incorrect moves. Strangely, the world expects them to be choreographed as well. They're often belittled for having a foot out of place or a wrong opinion. It's common for the Capricorn and Aquarius placements to struggle under this pressure, wondering if being genuinely themselves will ever be a possibility.

Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana both share Dhanishta Moons and cults of personality. The strange thing about fame is that people forget just how crushing and alienating it can be for those in the limelight. Although both celebrities are now remembered fondly, the sheer amount of hate mail, bad press, and vitriol both women received in life was astounding. Dhanishtas (especially femme-presenting natives) are often stuck in a madonna-whore dichotomy, either elevated to a pedestal or thrust into a pit of snakes. Being seen as charismatic by the outside world does not protect you from insecurity, and these natives are often self-conscious and suffer from imposter syndrome.

Notably, the nakshatra is known for having bad marital karma, especially with their first marriage or if they have gotten married early. They often marry people that expect them to keep playing an act, who get upset when they realize the Dhanishta is a living person with flaws and opinions. However, these natives (especially those with moon+venus+7h placements) often find love with a later marriage or if they've waited until they're older to marry.

Nevertheless, the Moon-ruled star often has a fiery temper and tend to be Papa Wolves or Mama Bears, being very protective of their children. Being so tossed around in life, they often just want their children to be healthy and happy.

It has to be said that this nakshatra is known to be comfort eaters, at worst having an unhealthy relationship with food or even developing an eating disorder. This is especially true for femme natives, wherein they begin to see food as an escape, either withholding it from themselves out of shame, indulging excessively, or the latter alongside periods of purging. In our modern society, weight and food is just another societally-controlled measure, which can lead to disordered eating cycles. Hence, this is not true for all Dhanistas, and is just another presentation of the placement's reaction to social anxiety and pressure.

[septembersung]

We had Instapoetry as a topic in class, and we had a long discussion about what poetry is, etc., and the professor said, "everything that claims to be a poem is a poem." This reminded me of the book "How poetry means" by John Ciardi, which you recommended a while ago. Having read a lot of Instapoetry, I'm not sure my prof's definition is valid: if everything can be poetry, then nothing is. Just because something's structured in lines and stanzas doesn't make it a poem. What are your thoughts?

Your professor is as wrong as wrong can be. If I claim to be a pencil, does that make me one? Self-identification means nothing if it's not based in reality. If words don't have meanings, they... don't mean anything. So you're quite right. If any particular thing is a poem, poetry is nothing in particular.

The last century's experiment with changing the definition of art from "a work meeting specific criteria for creation and excellence in a given medium" to "this is art because I am an artist" and "it's art because I say it is" is a case study in degeneracy. "Anything is art" is a failed experiment. You can't get anyone to admit it though because it is so tied to a worldview - like all claims about art, it's really a claim about the nature and purpose of human beings and reality. And people get defensive when you question their religion.

The New Princeton Encyclopedia of Poetry and Poetics entry on "poetry" discusses versification, lineation, and heightened language as essential to this "verbal art." "Prose is cast in sentences; poetry is cast in sentences cast into lines."

Poetry is an art crafted of words that are extremely ordered. As Coleridge said, prose is words in the best order, poetry is the best words in the best order. Contemporary "free verse" like instapoetry, even if it contains incidental rhythm or the occasional rhyme or some other individual characteristic of poetry, is usually a single emotion, thought, or political statement stripped of the very layers of kinds of order that poetry is made of - meter, lines (distinct from inconsequential hits of the enter key,) heightened language, image (concrete, metaphorical, or imaginative), beautiful sound, "an experience irreducible to paraphrase," or even that delicate triangle balance of thought, emotion, and image that constitutes what's considered good contemporary free verse. It's not just about the content, but about what the physical (as it were) words are doing, and - this is where Ciardi comes in - how they do it.

I think the point about lineation is worth coming back to. You said "Just because something's structured in lines and stanzas doesn't make it a poem." Exactly this. Take this paragraph; I could go back through and format it to "look" like a poem, with shorter lines and stanza breaks, but that would not add anything to the content. Poetic lines have actual function in the meaning and experience of the poem.

"True ease in writing comes from art, not chance, As those move easiest who have learned to dance. 'Tis not enough no harshness gives offense, The sound must seem an echo to the sense."

Thanks for this ask!

[jisungshotfirst]

top 10 title tracks of 2023

in which i am a nerd and rant about music<3

10. BYOB - Billlie

this is just the cutest little city pop song! it's simple and catchy and it was a real change to hear such soft voices from billlie! softer title tracks always stand out to me because they are often so so pretty and delicate and byob is so so pretty and delicate! and the lyrics... i have claimed this as an aromantic anthem, it's ours. not relating to your friends having crushes .... billlie i see u

9. Break the Brake - Xdinary Heroes

this song is just straight vibes... the loudest rock we've gotten from xdinary and I appreciate it SO much. the verses r so clean and the falsetto.. its harmonically so interesting so the noise of the chorus feels properly cathartic and doesn't feel like a loss which can sometimes happen in scream-esc choruses. It's arranged SO well to balance all these things and be stimulating while also being so emotive. AND JUNHAN WITH THOSE CRUNCHY NOTES IN HIS SOLO. the dissonance.. its so brain-sratchy

8. In Bloom - Zerobaseone

zebi brainrot is so real friends.. be careful. this song is so beautiful! i think its a perfect example of the song marrying the concept and mv and members tones so well. from literally the first minute of zb1 i was so excited about their concept of mixing natural imagery like flowers with glitchy technology imagery and i hoped the music would match... AND IT DID! its so lyrical while being crunchy and energetic. SUCH a slayful debut

7. #menow - Fromis_9

this song is sooooo pretty. epitome of a soft bop. it's a classic fromis sound but with this sense of maturity and humility that makes it so engaging and emotional. it demands to be taken seriously but still is so fun! the vocal production is next level.. the effect on their voices in the chorus so they're used like instruments... one of favourite techniques ever. i LOVE when the vocals truly feel like part of the arrangement and not just sitting on top and this song truly does that

6. Spicy - Aespa

the absolute cunt aespa serve in this song... who let them. anyone who knows me knows i'm obsessed with everything moonshine has ever made.. and so when i heard they were doing an aespa title... i went crazy. and i am so right for it. THE BASS IS INSANE?? it puts all other synth basses to shame with how in your face it is. and the crispy snare? idk how to describe this song other than cunty because she genuinely does not care about being clean or palatable... like she is In Your Face with sound. and aespa literally ate that up... they are so fun and cheeky and confident! i'm sorry this is the kind of song that only a group of baddies could handle and aespa stepped up

5. Sugar Rush Ride - TXT

txt doing disco... like you already have me at that. it's sooooo groovy and although the anti-chorus was surprising.. i'm not mad at it! I'm so happy they went into it full force with the whisper vocals and the choreo switching mood, it rly helped the genre change make sense. and the DISCOOO at the end.. bop central. the lyrics and choreo and vibes overall r just so beautiful.. what can i say i love songs about gay sex i mean forbidden love...

4. Groovy - Cravity

the funky bop of all funky bops... literally funk pop goodness! there is so much movement in this track theres so many different rhythms happening and the blend together sooo well. the dance break is perfect.. literally everything you want from a dance break with the continuation of the same sounds but a new tone to it and new rhythmic focuses. and the choreo for it literally hits ever beat you want it to and stretches out the time between them perfectlyyyy. but ultimately it is on here because is it a feel-good happy fun bop.. and she excels at it! vity makes me so happy and they are so good at making songs that make you happy

3. Galileo - Kep1er

cutest song of the year! it is so groovy and fun and danceable. it is sooo feel-good it literally makes me smile every time. thank you hiyyih for putting aegyo in a song<3 where is her nobel peace prize. this is the kind of song where you truly can't hear the music theory going on because it just does exactly what you want it to do! any tension chords are resolved perfectly where you want them to. it's the perfect example of chords from minor keys borrowed to make a song that sounds so major and happy. there is absolutely nothing i would change about this song it is sooo perfect. absolutely filled to the brim with joy

2. ROAR - The Boyz

...like literally hello? this song came out of nowhere for me i did NOT expect to be as impressed as i was like my life changed after this song. firstly the whistle.. hot and sexy and catchy. carrying it through as a motif, chopping it up, creating variations, translating it to a singable vocal line... all of that is SO impressive to be able to pull off. crunchy track underneath.. beautiful. but what is most impressive to me about this song is the topline. the vocals are literally insane.. chanhee and hyunjae have my favourite tbz voices and u are crazy if u don't agree that they r the main characters of this song. some of those chorus lines are So high and they can sing them in a way that sounds so effortless. and the backing vocals... the Incredibly high harmony in the choruses makes me want to scream (it's jacob i think.. jail). and there is just voices Everywhere.. everywhere theres little 'ahs' hidden around and it not only fits the songs sexy concept in such a natural way but it just fills up every bit of space in the song. and the lyrics... once again i love a song about ..*checks notes* forbidden love.. that is damned by heaven... definitely not about gay sex tho .. definitely not..

1. Chill Kill - Red Velvet

second moonshine on the list .. no one is suprised. i think this song has complimented red velvet's two sides of creepy and feel-good the most successfully. the tone shift from the verses to the chorus is so obvious... but seamless. and what does it is the harmony! the chords are perfect... it seems redundant to talk about rv vocals but they rly just make the song. and the outro... blending both vocal parts of the chorus together.. it sounds epic. it adds to both the happy and creepy by sounding like a group of friends together.. but also cult-y with all that creepiness still lingering. singing 'forget about your sorrow' with the happiest voices like the verses weren't filled with creepy minor sounds... literally gaslighting queens. this song is terrifying and also the most joyful (hi sooyoung 😘) experience to listen to.... only the dream team of moonshine cazziopeia and red velvet can manage that. and it's no surprise this dream team gets my no.1 spot!

thank you for reading if you got this far ! pls share your favs with me and if we share any i'd love to hear what you think! happy new year everyone I truly hope it treats you well<3 and here's to more bops in the new year!!!

[manysmallhands]

The Brits: Rated!

This weekend I watched The Brit Awards for the first time in an absolute age. One thing it reminded me of is why I don’t usually watch The Brit Awards: the staging was cringe, the presenters forgettable and the winners (Jungle! Bring Me The Horizon!) often completely baffling. RAYE’s coronation as queen of UK pop was at least a satisfying moment of well deserved revenge, but also a colossal round of arse covering and buck passing from an industry that was more than happy to screw her over and has in no way faced any real reckoning over it. As such, the stellar cast who were lined up to perform were basically the only good reason for me to stick around. I rated them as follows:

Dua Lipa - Training Season 

Absolutely banging opener, lots of fancy moves - including Dua being suspended in midair by a bunch of guys with no visible means of support themselves! - and an excellent (if slightly strained) vocal, a notable improvement on her Grammys performance from last month. I like Training Season anyway but this felt like a proper event. 9

Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding - Miracle

I’ve hitherto found Miracle a bit of a snooze but I finally started to warm to it last night and the bit at the end where it all kicked off was probably the best climax of the evening. While the choreography created an engaging sense of spectacle, Ellie was admirably low effort amongst it all and Calvin might as well have sneaked off for a fag, it was quite funny watching him stood at the back doing nothing. 8

Tate McRae - Greedy

I so wanted this to be great cos I can't stop listening to her but sadly that really wasn’t the case. There seemed to be technical issues at times but often Tate looked swallowed up by the size of the staging, just singing the odd line here and there while doing an admittedly top-line dancing routine. Not a patch on her recent NHL show. 6 

Jungle - Back On 74

Despite it being extremely lightweight I’m rather fond of Back on 74, but quite what Jungle are doing here (and winning best band!) is something of a mystery to me. Still, the Sault we’ve got at home put on a pleasant enough show without really straining themselves performance-wise, especially considering its acrobatic video. 7

RAYE - Medley: Ice Cream Man/Prada/Escapism.

I’ll admit that RAYE’s more "authentic" genre reworkings can leave me a bit nonplussed but I thought this performance was fantastic. Ice Cream Man was predictably devastating, Prada held up surprisingly well under its choral makeover and Escapism seems to take whatever she throws at it without so much as flinching. Not much to speak of visuals-wise but she really didn’t need them. 9

Chase and Status/Becky Hill - Disconnect

Chase and Status honoured their best producer award by doing their least good song of 2023. Becky Hill dutifully belted it out but there wasn’t much to draw the eye and the teasers from Baddadan had a distinct ‘look at what you could have won’ quality. 6

Rema - Calm Down 

In the year or more since I first heard it, I’ve gone from bored to lukewarm to kinda liking Rema’s megahit and the live setting here has finally pushed me over the top:  Calm Down is really quite good. It was helped along by a winning dance routine that played into its exotic rhythms but Rema's performance is the thing that really carried it, all understated charisma, flashing smiles and some truly iconic headgear. 8

Kylie - Hits Medley

There was a sense in which I wanted this to be amazing but in the end it was merely an alright performance, lifted by the fact that the UK loves Kylie and it was always going to feel like a bit of a triumph. The vocals were nothing to write home about, the track selection could have been better too, but by the time we got around to All The Lovers I was pretty much sold anyway. Ultimately, there are some people who are above meaningful criticism and Kylie will always be one of them. I mean, who gives a shit whether I liked it or not. 7

[prettylittlelyres]

Ladies Don't Write Music - 15th November 2023 - update

I'm on track for NaNoWriMo because I hit 25,000 words for the month today! I'm so pleased. Attempting NaNoWriMo at all this year was a huge gamble because I haven't written over 25,000 words since February 2023, and even then I only managed just over 37k... but I've written 25k in the last two weeks and a day!

I also finished writing Chapter Twelve today, and brought it in at 5,000 words exactly. That's both immensely satisfying, and a point of pride; it's the fastest I've finished a chapter on this manuscript since I started drafting it at the end of July. The full manuscript is now just over 60,000 words long, and I want to do some more writing before I go to bed.

Below the cut: a celebratory excerpt, my NaNoWriMo 25k badge, and the cover I designed at the start of November, because I'm proud of that, too.

I clapped the right tempo, and counted Fräulein Schneider in.

She began, halting here and there, but, in general, playing very well.

“I’m not sure if you need a teacher,” I said, as she came to the end of the first page, “You sight-read just fine, and your sense of rhythm is strong.”

Fräulein Schneider beamed at me. “Thank you!” she said, “But it’s… it’s the pitch that I struggle with. Did I really…” She looked down at her hands. “Did I really play that correctly? I keep thinking I was pressing the wrong keys, but I don’t like to look at my hands when I’m sight-reading, or I lose my place in the music.”

I shook my head. “There was nothing wrong with the notes you played,” I said, “Considering it was your first time with the piece, actually, it was excellent.”

Louisa raised her eyebrows, and looked from me to the sheet music, and then back again. “That’s… That’s a surprise,” she said, “I’ve always thought I was, well… quite bad at the harpsichord. I practise, but the music never makes any more sense than it does when I start learning a piece. My last two teachers gave up on me, but I keep playing anyway because Papa and Mama said it would be a good way to entertain my husband one day.”

“Doesn’t it sound good to you, at least?” I asked, “I mean, do you like the way it sounds, even if it’s a little confusing?”

She smiled. “Yes, very much… but I worry that it doesn’t sound so good to other people. Full of wrong notes… Who would enjoy hearing a piece they recognise mangled out of shape?”

I tapped the page she had just played. “You certainly didn’t mangle this,” I said.

“Oh,” she said, covering her face with her hands, “That’s a relief!” Then her eyes widened as she dropped her hands to her lap. “Goodness me, how embarrassing it would have been if I’d played it badly in front of its composer.”

“Badly, not at all,” I assured her, sitting down next to her at the bench, “A little slowly, perhaps, but…” I played the first few bars as they should have been played. “That’s what it’s meant to sound like. And what you played was close enough. Honestly, Louisa, if you practise for even half an hour every day, I think you’ll have the first page fluent in less than a week. Your hands will learn it, even if your ears don’t.”

I decided a while ago that Johann Schneider's character would be tone-deaf, and would enjoy watching music performed for the movement. He has a younger sister and I thought it would be interesting to explore her having the same difficulties. Johann isn't a musician (yet), but Louisa plays the harpsichord and has a lot of trouble feeling confident in what she's playing because she's never sure she's got the right pitch. Luckily, her proprioception is excellent (as is Johann's, which is why he can dance so well), so she can put her fingers on the right keys without needing to see them. This is what Katharina's trying to help her see here, in this ad-hoc music lesson; she doesn't need to hear what she's playing to be able to play it well.

I'm quite enjoying playing around with parallels between Johann & Louisa Schneider and Katharina & Hans Schmidt. In both pairs of siblings, you have the older, more serious one having trouble meeting people's expectations, in contrast with the younger, more humourous one having very little trouble at all. The pairs also mirror each other in their strengths and weaknesses: Katharina and Hans have audiovisual projective synaesthesia and perfect pitch, so can hear and see the music they're making; Johann and Louisa are literally tone-deaf (Johann completely, Louisa almost completely) and music for them is a much more visual thing than it is for most people. Then there's Katharina, whose coordination is so bad it causes problems, being the opposite of Johann, whose coordination makes him an excellent dancer who then has problems because he finds constant poorly-veiled requests to dance at parties very tiring.

[hanarchy]

ok. because i love to talk about how jisung deserves to get the most parts and i STAND BY IT. i want to also say some things the other members bring to the table that none of the others can do or that they excel at beyond the others’ abilities.

like i dont like to pretend they are all equally talented in every area bc they aren’t. and i like jisung partly because the things he’s good at are what’s important to me (singin, rapping, songwriting)

but that doesn’t mean the other members aren’t talented in those areas AND i want to also say that kpop is a genre/culture where visual content, music videos and variety content are almost as important as music.

people love to argue about music quality and i think it’s a discussion that’s worth having BUT i personally believe that the main reason for kpops insane global expansion and popularity is that the industry is entirely unique in how well it uses the internet and social media to generate support and that means variety content and visual media.

and i believe editing/filmmaking/music video making and dance are art forms that stand on their own and that groups need a clear identity and creative vision.

ok so let’s go. unique talent by member.

bang chan:

music production. this one is obvious but it also needs to be repeated over and over. he is an insanely and uniquely talented producer.

work ethic. the dedication and willingness to sacrifice for his work is a LARGE part of what makes skz skz. they would not exist without it.

singing. he has a clear and open vocal that can serve SO many purposes.

lee know:

dancing. again this one is obvious. lee know is such a dance leader because he can not only execute choreographies but explain and develop them.

discipline. it is not a coincidence that he has taken on the role he has. it’s very obvious that he is dedicated to his job and inspires others to work hard in turn.

versatility. so, this one may be controversial and lino is definitely not the best vocalist or the best rapper in the group. but because of the second point, he has become a member that can fill spots that the others may be unable or unwilling to. he develops himself to become what the group needs and it has been apparent since he pivoted to rapping in the variety show.

changbin:

rapping. again, obvious. changbin has a sense of rhythm that is almost unparalleled in kpop. his experiments with it are jawdropping. (if ur interested u shd check out the carkpop youtube channel though i bet most people here already do)

lyricism. similar to bang chan, he is a very talented producer and songwriter but his mastery of language makes him stand out. this is not my opinion btw bc i do not know korean well enough to make that assessment, but i trust the people who say this.

personality. now i started out this list trying not to do this but. he is so stable and reliable as well as just good natured and supportive of the members. he is the older brother everyone needs and that translates to giving the members freedom to grow and develop, ultimately making the group and the music better.

hyunjin:

performance. of course hyunjin is an incredible dancer but it’s the demon that possesses him on stage that makes him so magnetic in my opinion. the combination of how much he loses himself in performance and his proficiency in dance is why he stands out.

visual. i hate doing this to him but. it needs to be mentioned. but being the visual or whatever doesn’t just mean being pretty. modeling takes skill. and he has it. dressing and presenting yourself takes effort. and he puts that in.

dedication to his creativity. hyunjin strives to become the best he can be. he understands that creativity is a knife that needs to be sharpened and he does it. every day and all the time and in many different disciplines. his rapping has improved immensely but so has his singing and his dancing and his painting and and and

jisung:

versatility. jisung has a range of rap deliveries and singing tones and registers that no one else in the group can touch. and versatility is so intrinsic and important to the group identity. this is of course taking for granted that he can even do both this well.

self-confidence in performing. jisung is the cheat key and the swiss army knife of the group because he knows he’s capable. he can take over almost anyone’s part because he knows he has the talent

joy in being an idol. he enjoys experimenting. he loves performing. he was born for this fucking job. i’ve said this before but it’s so rare that you get someone who is both a great songwriter and someone who truly thrives while performing. both of these qualities make skz skz and jisung is the poster child for both.

felix:

he draws people in. (this is 3 points wrapped in one) felix’s personality is what makes him invaluable in the group. he shines in variety content because he makes it brighter and kinder every time. he stands out by being talkative and sociable in interviews and taking on a speaker role alongside chan. many people you ask say felix is the first member they noticed. both his performance and his looks are part of that. both also take skill. much like hyunjin he is a great model and he very obviously takes care of his look and style. he may not always get big parts but he’s always showstopping and his rap skills have developed and grown to fill that role. he may have gotten his deep voice through sheer luck but the way he uses it (for example in victory song) is not luck. and again he shines when he performs. it’s in such a variety of ways too, half the fandom at one point seemed to have originated from that one tiktok. that’s not something any other member can do.

seungmin:

vocals. obvious, serious, so beautiful. skz could not do the balads they do without him.

dedication and discipline. much like lee know, he grew into the role he now fills in the group and he did so by working hard and looking for areas where the others can’t step up. and much like lee know, the other members followed him in that regard. they developed their singing skills partly because he did it first.

reliability. seungmin is the most obviously reliable member of skz. he is only so rarely absent from content or performances, he is present on bubble and on socials. he does well in variety content. the group couldn’t stand without him in the way it does now.

jeongin:

vocals. again again. i urge you to listen to him sing busan seagull. you can never get tired of that.

joy. he is the energizer bunny of this group. he gives the members energy when they are out. they obviously want to care for him, they obviously want to protect him.

willingness to grow. humility is so integral to skz and while innie has always been talented and always been dedicated, he so clearly has high standards for himself and looks to improve every day. that’s a core value of skz so much that they never stop talking about it.

ok. novel over. if you read all of this thank you. if u wanna chime in with what u think makes each member unique i would love that. if u wanna send me anon hate about this, honestly that’d be funny too.

[numetaljackdog]

what i'm listening to 8/5/2023 (SKAUGUST SPECIAL) (song notes under cut)

spot. link⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛yt link

bonjour tout la monde :3 i see you're all working on that first course...... perhaps you'd like another? :3c

now. this is no ordinary WILT. bc as i've mentioned i have been absolutely INFECTED by the skaucous skanking energy of SKAUGUST!!!! i might do a mini-WILT later in the month with some other stuff i've been listening to, but for now this is an ENTIRELY SKA playlist ^w^ well...... almost entirely. there is one exception, of course....

Laura Les - Skaunted: it's skaunted. by laura les. i really did try to find a ska cover for this but as far as i can tell there is none. get on that, people.

Streetlight Manifesto - Everything Went Numb: very likely my favorite ska song i've ever heard, this one's been with me for a good few years now. there's just such a drama to it, lots of storytelling gravitas rather than just a fun pop song. and the HOOKS they cram into this thing, good lord. the rapid-fire lyrics and layered horn section and difference in dynamics all work so well together.... i always find myself running through the part "i don't wanna hear, i don't wanna be near, i do what i gotta do, just to keep my nose clean" over and over and over again. that and the quiet part "a little something like this, na na na na na na, na na na na na na na" i've never heard a band that made na na na's work as well as these guys, and you can take that as an insult to whichever pop punk band you like if you really want, but one way or another this is a fucking golden track and you HAVE(!!!) to listen to it at least once okay?

No Doubt - Just A Girl: probably one of the most if not just the absolute most commercially and culturally successful moments that ska has had..... and it's not hard to see why. this song is a fucking ALL TIME crusher, it's got hooks for days, the little synth part is all crunchy, it's a bona fide feminist pop anthem, and, if we can all take a second to be real with ourselves here, gwen stefani is an excellent performer for stuff like this. i have no trouble imagining young teen girls in 1995 seeing this shit on mtv for the first time and having their lives and brain chemistries irreversibly changed. this and spiderwebs but there's only so much room in the playlist, folks

Madness - One Step Beyond: considering what we still have yet to get to in this list, it's a real testament to how much i instantly loved this one that it's placed so high. it's goofy as shit but it represents so many things i love about 2 tone. first of all, the just intrusively obvious british lameness of it is quite charming, and also just really interesting from a historical perspective. as we'll see, a lot of 2nd wave ska bands hailed from the uk, likely bc of the genre's connections with new wave, which began largely as a british export. and then with third wave ska, the usa became the new hub of ska music, but i feel like that british influence remained a crucial part of the way ska presented itself even then. very interesting, if you're as big a nerd as me. i feel like this is also a tune where you can hear some of ska's jazz influences, which is awesome to think how this revival movement for jamaican dance music not only preserved its basic rhythm structure but also some of its influences. i ALSO like that it hardly has any words - they were just like here's some of the tastiest fucking riffs you've ever heard and a guy yelling "ONE STEP BEYOND" what else do you need? and i was like nothing 😌 you've given me all i need you bunch of goofy suited skanksters

Catch 22 - 9mm and a Three Piece Suit: i see this one as sort of a companion to everything went numb, which makes sense bc streetlight manifesto actually covered the entirety of keasbey nights at one point. 9mm predates streetlight's stuff by a good number of years, and i do prefer the roughness of the original version. it's more of that very fast-paced storytelling type of songwriting, and i've had this song with me for several years as well. not really much i can say about it that wouldn't be repetitious, but definitely love this one to death as well

Choking Victim - Crack Rock Steady: coming from a background of hardcore heavier music, it makes me so happy that people saw the rise of ska punk and said yeah man we need a way to make this all heavy and nasty too. and we'll sing about killing cops. and they did! ^w^ and so enter the creators of a genre named after this very song (though by my understanding of its influences it could have easily been called "crust ska" - but that wouldn't have been a fun pun now would it?). i just love that you could easily get up and skank to this song, it's very upbeat and lively, but it is also VERY about killing cops. like there is no mistaking that this is cop killing song from first lyric to last. so that's dope. or i guess it's crack

The Specials - A Message to You Rudy: the specials cover an enduring jamaican ska classic... it's a tale as old as time. i love the arrangement on this soooo much, and the pretty and subtle harmonizations. this is almost kind of a dreamy song to me, the way it just floats through the air. that has more to do with the base melody itself, but i do like the dandy livingstone original a lot as well! once again, only so much room on the playlist. the specials join madness as the two bands that i would deem most prominent and influential in the second wave, but i think the specials were a little less new wave and had some more of the original ska spirit in them. not a dis on madness, of course, i've already expressed my enjoyment of them. just an interesting difference between the two

Rancid - Time Bomb: just a girl might be ska's big moment for a lot of people, but for ME, it was time bomb. i heard this one on the radio as a kid, and it was one of the first ska songs i was exposed to, and i LOVE IT. it's definitely a little basic but it just epitomizes the phrase "ska punk" to me. so guitar-forward and with super rough vocals but also so fun and real and bouncy with an absolutely endlessly repeatable chorus. i love you time bomb

We Are The Union - Morbid Obsessions: oh, i'm sorry. did you think i was gonna make a list of my current ska favorites and NOT include a selection from we are the union's 2021 album ordinary life which documents the lead singer's journey and self-discovery? well you thought fucking wrong, dumdum!!!!!!!!!!! this was such a big album for me when i was. uh. how old was i in 2021. when i was like seventeen. i would almost go so far as to say that this album was my "transgender dysphoria blues" if not for the fact that i was also listening to that album a lot around the same time. there were some discoveries happening. but anyways this is such a great little album, i really recommend the whole thing. chewy tasty indie pop with a delightful ska base. and the band even has jer (of skatune network fame) on trombone!! how cool is that!!!! also AGAIN i kept it to only one song but if you only check out one other track from this record, listen to the closer "december." that shit makes me cry

Smash Mouth - Walkin' On The Sun: I'LL ADMIT IT. THIS IS ONE OF SEVERAL TIMES THAT I'M GOING TO CHEAT ON THIS WILT. in the sense that this isn't really a ska song - it's a song by a ska band, and has some ska flavor in there as an influence. can you evar forgive me 🥺 but also like. look. it's fuckin smash mouth, okay. and this song is Loaded with them fucking HOOKS babeyyyyy. and it really is interesting, how smash mouth managed to be so commercially successful that they really existed as a goofy corporate pop rock band that had a couple big all-quadrants hits. but like you can feel that they have background in "The Scene." you can practically smell the punk on these guys, the same way you can smell the nu metal on sugar ray. these are always bands that used to be Something Else and that Something Else is undeniably cooler than what they are now, but what they are now is definitely catchier. so. walkin' on the sun! i like this better than all star, for the record, but it could also be a matter of overplay on the latter's part

The Selecter - On My Radio: this and one other song we'll get to are like the epitome to me of how second wave ska had huge crossover with new wave. the first time i heard this one i was kinda like ehhh yeah it's cool i guess. and then after a couple more listens i realized how well constructed of a song it is, and how great the performances are. the lead vocalist here is a real treat, apparently some people call her the "queen of ska" which is fucking awesome. also i love a good song about a radio, especially in retrospect now where it's like eh yeah you darned kids had better learn about what's what on the radio bc back in my day-

Operation Ivy - Sound System: this is like, the birthplace of ska punk/third wave. okay maybe not this particular album, but you could certainly make an argument for that early op ivy ep! point is, they were on the ground floor, and sound system is definitely the catchiest song i've heard from them. and, not dissimilar to songs about radios, i can get behind a song about a sound system! love it! honestly, despite being rough and punky, this song's almost... cute? like aw :) the sound system is the one thing he can depend on. i'm glad he has that kind of relationship in his life!

Less Than Jake - Nervous In The Alley: LTJ is the first ska band that i really became a fan of, probably bc of how accessible they are, particularly to the typical pop punk or skate punk enjoyer. they have three songs in this playlist that i have enough history with to warrant including but i don't have much to say about any of them. the fast part of this song is the best part, obviously

The (English) Beat - Mirror In the Bathroom: it's so funny to me that they're called the english beat but only sometimes. sometimes it's just the beat. i understand why but it amuses me. anyways THIS is the total new wave song i mentioned, and like with on my radio i didn't really "get it" at first. but man, what a track. not only does it have great composition and a delightful balance of new wave polish and ska beat, it's also just kind of a unique concept for a pop song. self-obsession pushed to the point of madness, framed entirely through the listing of different common objects one can look at themselves in while carrying out everyday business. just an interesting little chune :3

Less Than Jake - Bomb Drop: honestly this one could probably go higher i fucking love bomb drop. but once again i don't have much to say about it. i will say that i didn't realize until watching the music video while making this list that this is apparently about like, cyberbullying? the video's kind of lame honestly, but the intentions are good. i've had this song so long i forgot how recent it is, but i guess it's a testament to how consistent LTJ has stayed, and perhaps as a consequence, how little they've changed. you could send this song back to 1998 and apart from the slightly slicker production nobody would bat an eye

Derrick Morgan - Tougher Than Tough (Rudie in Court): had to get at least one first wave song that wasn't a 2 tone cover in here, right? this is another classic that earns the title of "rude boy anthem." without getting too serious, i do think there's something to be said about rude boys' existence as a subculture and the way that blends with the punk ethos later but also how the term exists more in isolation in jamaican ska. as the title suggests, there's definitely an element of getting into trouble here - was that something that inspired the revival of ska at the hands of rock bands later on? i can't say. but i think about it

The Aquabats! - The Shark Fighter!: if i'm 100% honest i don't tend to really like the aquabats. i wish i did but i don't. but this song is sooooo catchy. i did watch the full episode of the super show that the song appears in (which is in the youtube playlist btw) and it was some campy fun but not anything that made me want to watch more. what i will say is that not long ago i was rewatching robbydude's vods of reel fishing: road trip adventure, a vod series that contained a lot of ska references (not the least of which relate to the title and the continued botching of it to instead say "reel big fishing"). but one of the bits was that every time he went to catch a hammerhead he would play this song. so now it's lodged in my head forever. go make the same happen for yourself

Less Than Jake - Goodbye in Gasoline: some b-side action for you. the video for this one that i have in the youtube playlist is so funny, it's from SUPER early youtube and it's just a bunch of stupid random pictures over a low-quality mp3 of the song. there's only two comments and they're both people being like "this is dumb why did you make this." as far as i'm concerned this may as well be the official music video for goodbye in gasoline

Rancid - Hooligans: HOOLIGANS! rancid! RUDE BOYS! rancid! HOOLIGANS! rancid! RUDE BOYS! rancid! on a loop forever in my mind

Lazy Town - We Are Number One: once again i am super cheating bc this shouldn't count as a bonus track really, it's just not on spotify anymore. so whatever there's 20 songs, sue me. i don't need to introduce you to this song but what i do have to say is MAN is this a banger or what?! like yeah it's a kid's song and yeah it's a meme, but i really do love it! i've never seen an episode of lazy town in my life! i remember a tomska & friends video where they did a meme review of the 2010s and tom (who, as you may guess, is a noted ska fan) picked this song for 2018 or whatever fuckin year this blew up, but he noted that while he didn't really have very strong feelings about it one way or another, he had to take the opportunity to be excited that a ska song had become popular online. i can respect that. rest in peace of course to the actor who played robbie rotten, he seemed like a nice man and i'm glad we all are preserving something he worked on so passionately :)

wouaghhh. so that was the skaugust special!!!! thanks for reading, i hope your love of ska is improved by the work we've done here :3 i feel the need to give thanks to the wonderful violet of the gec (hi :3), fellow musicgirl and the creator of skaugust, because. oh man. i have not felt this energized to listen to and talk about music in MONTHS. in case you were confused about the thing i said about a first course earlier, go check out vi's batch of songs for some more certified bangers. do it NOW. okay thankies see you next month ^w^

[that-1d-blogger]

This is Part 3.

Part 1

Part 2

The weeks following Zayn's admittance to the hospital passed in a blur of fear and desperate hope. His family kept a quiet bedside vigil, watching in anguish as his condition deteriorated with each passing day. The gut-wrenching reality that he required an urgent liver transplant to survive loomed over them like a menacing storm cloud.

Specialists and surgeons came and went, explaining in grave tones about the complicated process of finding a suitable donor match. With Zayn's relatively uncommon mixed ethnicity, the odds were not in his favor. His name was added to the national registry, but the waiting lists for cadaveric donors were frighteningly long. His best chance was to find a living donor willing to make the ultimate sacrifice - but even that was an enormous gamble rife with risks.

Through it all, Zayn suffered in a haze of confusion and anxiety. Though he couldn't clearly articulate it, some deeper instinct told him there was something monumental he was forgetting. His amnesia made his world feel like an abstract painting - he could discern vague familiarity in the faces of loved ones surrounding him, but the details were maddeningly blurred. Only flashes of old memories sparked in his subconscious, whetting his appetite for the past he couldn't retrieve.

Late one evening, Zayn startled awake from a bizarre dream. Visions of a beautiful young woman with warm brown eyes and flawless bronze skin still danced in his mind's eye. She was smiling at him with an expression of pure adoration, like he was the only man in the world. He felt an overwhelming sense of love and longing when he looked at her, but he couldn't place her identity.

"Who was that?" he rasped out loud, his scratchy voice rousing his mother from the vinyl recliner where she slumbered.

Trisha's eyes fluttered open and she was instantly at his side, taking his clammy hand in her own. "Who was who, beta?" she asked groggily.

Zayn searched in vain for the right words to describe the dream. "I don't know…there was a woman. She was…she seemed so important, you know? But I can't remember anything else about her."

The creases in Trisha's forehead deepened with unmistakable sadness. "Oh Zayn…I wish I could help put the missing pieces back together for you. Maybe once you're feeling stronger, it will start coming back."

She stroked his arm in a soothing rhythm, willing her son to drift back into a peaceful sleep. But Zayn's mind was restless, nagged by the feeling that he'd lost something profound and earth-shattering. If only he could remember…

Zayn's health was a roller coaster in the ensuing days, the damage to his liver taking an increasing toll. He grew weaker, more lethargic, the whites of his eyes taking on a distressing jaundiced hue. Simple acts like sitting upright in bed left him winded and beaded with sweat.

His family knew time was running out. If a donor didn't emerge soon, they'd be forced to say goodbye well before they were ready.

Then one spring morning, a spark of hope flamed to life in the solemn hospital room. The door opened and the familiar face of Zayn's doctor appeared, carrying a cipher of guarded anticipation.

"I have news," the doctor said solemnly, his hazel eyes finds Zayn's amber ones. "We've received word that a living donor has come forward and been approved as a viable match for your transplant."

A collective gasp fell across the room's occupants. Trisha clutched Yaser's hand tighter, fresh tears springing in her eyes.

"A…a donor?" Zayn murmured in disbelief, still trying to process the enormity of the situation. "Who is it?"

The doctor's expression turned regretful and he shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't divulge the identity at this time for privacy reasons. But I can tell you the donor is an excellent biological match, which increases the chances of a successful outcome exponentially."

The little color remaining in Yaser's face seemed to drain away as the weight of those words hit him. "What about the risks? To the donor, I mean? This is an incredibly dangerous procedure…"

"You're correct, the risks are substantial," the doctor acknowledged soberly. "We'll be removing nearly two-thirds of the donor's liver, which will hopefully regenerate over time. But there's no downplaying the potential life-threatening complications - blood clots, bleeding, infections, liver failure and death in the worst scenarios."

Zayn felt like he'd been kicked in the chest, all the air buffeting from his starved lungs. Some selfless individual was literally putting their life on the line to save him - a reality that was both humbling and terrifying.

"Are they…are they aware of the dangers?" Yaser pressed, his brow creasing with paternal concern for this anonymous sacrifice.

The doctor's expression tightened and nodded gravely. "The donor is fully informed and accepting of all the risks involved. In fact..." he paused, seeming to carefully weigh his next words. "Well, let's just say this particular donor was immensely difficult to dissuade once their mind was made up."

An image of the beautiful woman from Zayn's dream flickered in his mind again, though he couldn't fathom any logical connection. He blinked slowly, suddenly overwhelmed by a bone-deep weariness.

"When...?" he murmured hoarsely. "When is the surgery?"

"We need to move forward as quickly as possible, before your liver deteriorates further," the doctor stated. "We're tentatively slating the procedure for the end of this week, barring any new complications on either side. I'll keep you updated as we get closer."

With that ambiguous promise, he gave a solemn nod and departed, leaving Zayn's room in a state of mixed relief and tension. Though overjoyed at this miraculous turn of events, the risks hung like a shroud, reminding them all that nothing was guaranteed.

The next few days were a flurry of pre-operative appointments and testing, both for Zayn and his anonymous savior. He spent hours hooked up to wires and monitors, his chalky skin and protruding ribs a sobering reminder of how far his condition had deteriorated. Vials of blood and various other fluids were drawn, records meticulously updated, and a final pre-surgery consultation scheduled.

When the appointed day arrived, Zayn was wheeled into the stark, sterile operating suite just before dawn and prepped for the marathon procedure. An IV line was skillfully inserted into his spindly forearm, sending a potent cocktail of medication washing into his system. He felt himself growing deliriously lightheaded and pliant as the anesthesia took effect

-------------------------------

Zayn groaned as he opened his blurry eyes to see his family and doctor already looking at him

"Mr. Malik, your surgery went as well as we could have hoped. The new liver is functioning properly…" He paused, seeming to steel himself for his next words. "But I'm afraid I have some very difficult information to share about your donor."

Zayn felt his brow crease in confusion, his mind still foggy from the anesthesia and potent medications. Donor? What did the doctor mean by that?

Trisha sensed her son's bewilderment and reached for his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as she looked at the physician with pleading eyes. "What is it? What's happened?"

The doctor drew a fortifying breath. "The liver you received…it came from a living donor. A young woman named Zuri Simmons, age 25. She insisted on being the one to provide this life-saving gift, despite our urging about the extreme medical risks involved."

The name sparked an instinctive flicker of recognition in Zayn, though he couldn't immediately place the connection. Zuri…the beautiful woman from his fragmented dreams and visions. Hadn't she been important to him somehow?

"During the procedure to extract a portion of Ms. Simmons' liver, there were…complications," the doctor continued with obvious difficulty. "She suffered a catastrophic hemorrhage that we couldn't get under control. We did everything within our power, but I'm so dreadfully sorry…Zuri didn't make it off the operating table alive."

A deafening silence seemed to descend over the room in the wake of those words. Zayn's mouth moved wordlessly as he attempted to process this staggering revelation.

Zuri…the young, vibrant woman who had given up her life just so he could live another day? It was unfathomable - an act of love and sacrifice so profound that he could scarcely comprehend it.

Suddenly fragmented images and sensations crashed over Zayn in waves - flashes of Zuri's warm, crinkly-eyed smile…the feeling of her silken hair brushing his skin…the scent of her favorite vanilla perfume lingering in the air. She had been so, so important to him once, he realized with a sickening jolt. But his amnesia had ravaged those memories, leaving him adrift without the past they'd clearly shared.

Zuri had been willing to die for him - and now she was just…gone. Violently ripped from existence because of her unwavering determination to save his life, no matter the cost.

The anguished wail that tore from Zayn's throat was utterly primal - a guttural expression of heartbreak, loss and guilt so exquisite that it transcended rational language. Hot tears blurred his vision as ragged sobs wracked his healing body, the deep stitches screaming in protest at the strain.

"No…no, no, no!!" he croaked between the paroxysms of grief. "How could she…why would she do that for me??"

Trisha and Yaser could only clutch each other and weep freely alongside their son, sharing in the lancing pain of mourning this selfless young woman who had made the ultimate sacrifice. Even the doctor seemed visibly shaken, his professional mask slipping to reveal the deep well of empathy stirred by Zuri's tragic story.

Once the initial tsunami of emotion passed, Zayn felt something akin to shame creep in around the edges. He had been so consumed in his own amnesia-warped state that he had clearly pushed away someone who was the very embodiment of unconditional love. Zuri's total willingness to lay down her life to preserve his spoke to emotional depths he couldn't begin to fathom - or even remember sharing together once upon a time.

"We were…together," he murmured in a sandpaper rasp, his red-rimmed eyes scanning the room, "I dont deserve to live after how i treated her few days back..Oh god" his voice broke with realization at the end as he started crying again.

"Im so sorry for your loss" Doctor said with a sombre expression before reaching out to pull out a letter from his pocket. "Ms Simmons knew about the death risk and ..wanted you to have this."

Unstopping tears dropped down his cheeks as he scanned the letter over and over again, just have a glimpse of her through her beautiful handwriting etched on the paper, he buried his face on the paper , hoping to feel close to her last memoir of her.

He started hearing her sweet voice whisper comforting words in his ear. He imagined her stroking his hair, not because he remembered her doing that but feeling as if her actually doing that would be the only thing to get him to breathe again. Her sweet but heartbroken smile silently reassuring him that everything would be alright.

And the cruel truth-

That he'll get to see her, adore her,

Only in his imagination.

Mainblog

I have two ideas for the epilogue , I'll decide on one and post it after the liam fanfic

[swanconcerto]

part 1 of my redacted classical music au- damn crew

as per @super-trouper-lights 's encouragement, here is an attempt at organising this classical music au that takes up 90% of my brain space at all times.

i've (hopefully) including links to a few pieces that i think suit each character as well :)

psa! i am a pianist, not an orchestral musician, so most of this is coming from anecdotal evidence that i've seen and heard as a serial concertgoer and music student. and my bonus powers of special interest and being right about everything ever.

freelancer: i usually alternate between clarinet and oboe, but i've settled between clarinet being their principal. i also think they've considered trying their hand at conducting! excels at an eclectic mix of classical/modern/jazz pieces- enjoys at the camaraderie of playing symphonic works with the rest of the orchestral, but prefers the freedom and craziness of 20th century music when playing solo. favourite composers are like bartok, prokofiev, shostakovich, stravinsky etc. turns on rite of spring at a house party like "this is my jam!!!" gavin is their go-to accompanist and together they are an absolute dream team because they work together so perfectly, even if they make eyes at each other the whole performance. really good composer too but they're too shy to show their work to anyone outside of the friend group at the minute.

pieces: bernstein sonata for clarinet and piano, templeton pocket sized sonata no.1 III : in rhythm

gavin: pianist, with a heavy focus on ensemble playing. gavin thrives when he can work off the other person(s) energy, and accompaniment really lets him have a lot of fun! really good at keeping up with the soloist even if they switch it up DURING the performance (i can see freelancer doing this...). annoyingly and effortlessly excellent at sightreading and transposing. he can play solo too but i think having all eyes on him alone on the stage makes him uneasy. if he is playing a solo work i can see him being really into all the basic romantic pieces he's definitely best at chopin and liszt. i can also see him being a fan of brahms! he's really not a fan of the earlier baroque stuff. BIG hand span so he's good at playing rachmaninoff as well. basically, he's a romantic and it shows.

pieces: liszt liebesträume no.3 (this piece is about a love that transcends death. thinking about gav's immortality vs fl's mortality...), chopin nocturne in g minor op. 37 no. 1, brahms intermezzo op. 117 no.2

damien: cellist. second chair (you'll see who is first chair later!) and slightly bitter about it, but he prefers playing solo anyways. very prone to injuries as he tenses up when he loses himself in the music, but he's working on it. REALLY scary to be in a chamber ensemble with. scarily good sense of time and will call you out if you are out by even a millisecond. thought about conducting but decided against it after he nearly made lasko cry for rushing a phrase. serial string breaker. gets a little starstruck around musicians he really respects. a real asset to the orchestra because his passion and drive is infectious. actually counts his rests LOL. has a beautiful tenor voice but rarely shows it off. has a notebook dedicated to cello and takes detailed notes after every lesson, rehearsal, and performance. loves having an art form to just throw himself into.

pieces: brahms cello sonata, elgar cello concerto

huxley: PERCUSSIONIST! him and xavier man the percussion section at the back of the orchestra- huxley has definitely gotten too into the music and accidentally launched a mallet into the orchestra before; apologised profusely afterwards. likes to play tuned and untuned percussion equally. goes ham on the timpani! amazing sense of rhythm. often taps out little bits of what he's playing whilst he's going about his day. often has a little dance when he's playing! is also super good at little jazz or bossa nova improvisations on the piano. huxley really doesn't play anything pre-19th century, but sometimes if he'll listen to some early baroque pieces whilst he's walking home or lying in bed, and hum along. really likes bach's cello suites to calm down. gets damien to play them for him while he lounges on the floor like a very happy cat. the most interested in music outside of the western canon- he thinks it's all super fascinating.

pieces: márquez danzón no. 2, reich mallet quartet iii: fast (this one sounds really earthy to me? for some reason.)

lasko: did you really think he would be anything but a flautist?! flute posterboy. amazing breath control, but often rushes phrases (he plays like he rambles!) likes being in the same section as freelancer as they always give him a little thumbs up before he has any solo parts. gavin usually accompanies him for solo work but sometimes lasko gets so flustered he breathes funny into his flute and all that comes out is this strange honking sound- gavin isnt sure whether it came from the flute or lasko himself. his favourite composers are ravel and debussy as he just loves the impressionist sound- always listens to debussy's preludes when he's winding down before bed. recently has been obsessed with debussy's la mer- perhaps it reminds him of a certain someone...? also quite the mozart fan! lasko gets really lost in the music when he plays and tends to lose all of his inhibitions- it's lovely for his friends to see him relaxed and happy like that, and it's also very therapeutic for him.

pieces: glick flute sonata i: fast, mozart concerto for flute and harp 2nd mov (with a certain water elemental playing the harp part...) , ravel valses nobles et sentimentales ii: assez lent (okay i know the flute isnt that prominent in this but it just reminds me of him)

bonus: caelum is a very enthusiastic piano student, hoping to take after his big brother gavin :D