#i did not like it but mom forcefully got me into one of them when i was a kid okay those classes were bad i admit

[folkloregirlfriend]

why did i leave dance classes

[dinogoofymutated]

SFW!Colossus/Fem!Reader

I've been infected with another fictional man the way in which I pumped this out was ridiculous. I happened to re watch the scene in the movies where the government breaks into the mansion and seeing Piotr act like a big brother/dad to all the kids really got to me. That and the Deadpool movies (even though I thinks he's a little stuffy in those.) I even rewatched the episode he had in the animated series so that I knew I would get his character right and DAMN ugh god I juts have a thing for big men with soft hearts. especially the ones who are family oriented.

ALSO HOLY SHIT TY FOR 600 FOLLOWERS???? when did yall get here???? I swear I was at like 48 two weeks ago lmao time flies when you're thirsty for the X men I guess!! TWs: None? No pronouns mentioned but I went ahead and labeled it as fem because it's basically about kids forcefully adopting you as their mom. Kids having night terrors mentioned.

Can you imagine sort of just being adopted by the students at the mansion as mutant mom?? At that point you don't really get a choice. Like you start out being very patient with these kids and making sure to keep bandaids, burn cream, pain meds and all of that because one way or another something is gonna happen- and you want to be prepared.

And then you start making breakfast. I feel like normally they probably have a schedule for who has breakfast duty but if you wake up and can't go back to sleep and you take over no one really cares. More sleep for them!!

And then a few times turns into every morning. And you're setting out ketchup for one kids eggs and syrup for another ones hashbrowns- and making sure not to cook with nuts and make sure there's at least three different things on the table that are Kosher or gluten free. Keeping an eye on everyone as they come to get food and noting who did and did not make it to breakfast this morning so that you can make sure they eat later-

And one day you're waking up at 5am and getting ready for the day so you can go make breakfast like always, and you look in the mirror at some point and just realise, holy fuck, when did you become a parent?

It's such a regular thing for kids to call you mom at that point, a knowing how so many of them have come from rough backgrounds, it makes you really happy to know they find comfort in you and will come find you if they need comforting.

And then there's Piotr. Big, strong, Piotr. Piotr who wakes up before dawn and does chores around the mansion in the early morning air. You can take the man out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the man. He does the lawn care, chops wood, takes care of whatever animals that might need feeding, replaces the feed in the bird feeder.

Piotr who makes sure to stop by the kitchen to share a small cup of coffee with you before he does chores. Piotr who hangs Hummingbird feeders right outside the kitchen windows because you mentioned you missed the ones your grandmother used to hang. Just Piotr, being strong and masculine and an absolute sweetheart.

He reminds me of that one quote that heard somewhere about masculinity being about protecting femininity, not rejecting it??? That one!!!

Kids call him dad all the time, and even though yall aren't even together, you become the parents of the school. Scott and Jean?? Love them, but they don't have that same kind of parent energy.

It's such a regular thing for kids to find the two of you interacting one way or another. Someone woke up way too early and enters the kitchen to find yall during your coffee, and there's a sweet moment with yall telling them to go back to bed, or offering to make them a quick breakfast. Maybe if they're really young Piotr will offer to tuck them in. He might be really blunt when telling them there are no monsters, but will be a little more gentle when you set a hand on his arm and give him a bit of a look.

The kiddo asks for both of you to tuck them in and you obviously aren't going to refuse them. Which leads to everyone wanting both of you to tuck them in and soon enough you two are doing curfew checks instead of the professor.

It's becomes so regular for the students to treat you two as their parents, and no one actually believes it when they find out that no, you're not a couple. So, they do what kids do and try to get you two together.

First it starts with making sure you two are sat together during everything they can get away with. Then it moves on to things like mistletoe (out of season, Piotr mistook it as an accidental bloom made by one of the agrokinesis kids and took it down) and then more mischievous plans like telling one of you that the other needed help with one thing or another, knowing that either one of you would help out at the drop of a hat. Sureee, they were lying, but you two didn't know that. (most of the time)

The kids just want to see their parents happy and in love. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? It's not like You and Piotr hadn't been helplessly pining for the other the entire time anyway.

You sigh deeply once you finally sneak out of the dorm room, Piotr right behind you. The tall man takes extra care to shut the door very gently, making sure it clicks in place just as silently.

"I thought we were never going to get her to sleep." You whisper to him. One of the youngest girls attending the school had a rather difficult time with night terrors, and would struggle to fall asleep without being tucked in. When you and Piotr were doing curfew checks tonight, she was the only kiddo still awake, and she had practically begged both of you to stay with her untill she finally did fall asleep. It couldn't be just one of you, It had to be both. No matter how many rooms you both had to check tonight, you would never have left her shaken up in such a state. You just hadn't expected it to take an hour.

"Illyana had similar dreams as a little one. It takes time for children to overcome it." Piotr whispers back as you begin to walk down the hallway to check the rest of the rooms. Even when he whispers, his voice is strong and hard to keep quiet. You know there's truth to what he says, and yet you can't help but wish you could do something more to help her with her nightmares. You rub some warmth into your arms anxiously as you think about it, surprised when you feel the warm weight of Piotr's hand settle in between your shoulder blades.

"You're worrying again." He states, frowning slightly when you look up at him. You send him a resigned smile, before it quickly falls as you look away.

"I can't help it. I worry about all of them, her especially. They just... deserve so much more than their lot in life." You say. Piotr hums in response, his thumb brushing idly against your back.

"Their life like us, you mean? Mutants?" His question makes you wince.

"No. Yes? I don't know. I just... I just wish that we could give them more than... this." You say, waving your hands to motion about the mansion. "The school might very well be the only safe space they have their entire life. The world hasn't been kind to them, and I'm not sure it ever will be." Your words begin to quiet down as you finish the sentence, lowing to a whisper that only he can hear. You'd never, ever want any of these kids hear a word of what you're saying. Knowing that hope is really all they have at their age, and you of all people refuse to be the one to destroy that beautiful childlike optimism.

"That is what we are working for as the X-men, yes? To change that?" Piotr asks you point blank, his hand moving up towards the back of your neck in a soothing manner that still gives you goosebumps, feeling the comforting heat of his hand even stronger than before.

"Yeah, but..."

"Then we are doing all we can." He finishes, a smile on his face that's so determined and confident that it very nearly changes your mind completely. Nonetheless, it's a reassuring smile that makes your chest feel warm and fuzzy. You smile back at him finally, and you swear you see fondness in his eyes.

It doesn't take long before the two of you are finally at your door. You give Piotr a short and sweet goodnight as you begin to step inside, but he stops you before you go, gently catching hold of your arm. For the first time, you think you've seen him debate on his words. His mouth opens, but he doesn't speak at first, and you swear you see a blush rising to his cheeks as he does so.

"You'd make a good mother." He says eventually, and it makes you smile widely.

"You'd make a good dad." You tell him. There's silence between you as he brushes a stray lock of hair away from your face in a fond and caring manner, and you swear you could trick yourself into believing that you and Piotr were already in domestic bliss if this moment goes on for any longer. The tall man leans in, and you find your mind short circuiting as he presses a kiss to your forehead. The simple action somehow leaving you beyond flustered.

"Sleep well, Любовь моя. I will see you in the morning." Piotr tells you, before walking off at his regular stiff pace. You stand in your doorway for a minute, watching him leave with a bit of a confused smile on your face. Out of all the Russian nicknames he's called you in the past, you had never heard him say that one before. You wonder if you should pick up a book on the language as you close your door and finally crawl into bed, although part of you is content to leave it be. Colossus had always been blunt, and you're sure he'd tell you eventually. You fall asleep just as you always do, excited to see him when you wake up in the morning.

[ddejavvu]

whipped!hangman who's in the flower shop and he's trying to decide if he wants to get you pansys or tulips, because roses are too straightforward, right? and don't peonies mean love? so he cant go with that. and where did that flower knowledge even come from?? and oh my god he's just seen phoenix and she looks like shes on her way to the shop and oh my god shes going to tease him so bad.

i switched this up just a teeeny tiny bit, i hope you still like it!!

--

Jake shops more for your aura than he does for you. You've got this brilliantly sunny disposition, and he thinks yellow roses would be perfect for that.

His fingers brush against the petals, wondering if roses would be too straightforward, even if they weren't read. A little old lady comes out of a back room, smiling sweetly at him with crinkles in the corners of her eyes, "Oh, yellow roses! For one of your friends?"

"Uh," Jake laughs sheepishly, "A little more than that, maybe."

"Ooh," The woman gushes, grabbing his hand to lead him away, "Not those, then. Those symbolize friendship. What you want are red roses!"

"Uh, no!" Jake stammers, and though he's much stronger than the woman, he can't seem to pull away from her grip, "No, that's- that's too much."

"Okay," She ponders, "Daisies?"

"What're those for?"

"New beginnings," She hums, raising a sneaky brow, "Is that what you're going for?"

"Yeah," He nods, laughing breathlessly, "Yeah, that's good."

"Alright," She lets his hand go, gathering a handful of daisies and gripping them at the stems, "How about yellow tulle and ribbon? For those roses you wanted."

"Perfect," Jake grins, joining her at the counter, back to the door. He doesn't hear the bell above it tinkle as the door opens, because the crinkling of the plastic for your bouquet is too loud.

"So," The woman hums, throwing a quick nod to the customer that's just entered. Hangman doesn't notice, "Tell me about this person. Are they your crush?"

"I'm pushing forty," Jake scoffs, but there's a rosy blush on his cheeks that rivals the flowers, "I don't- I can't have crushes."

"Sure you can!" The woman gushes, wrapping ribbon around your flowers and tying it in a pretty bow, "I'd say anyone you're buying these for is a crush."

"Thank you for the flowers," Jake grins forcefully at her, sliding his card into the reader. When it dings, he removes it, stuffing it in his pocket instead of his wallet, intent on getting out as fast as possible to decompress in the car.

"Have a nice day!" The woman calls when Jake turns around, and the pilot's eyes fly open wide when Phoenix stands before him, a smug smirk on her face.

"Hangman," She sing-songs, having entirely too much fun tormenting him, "Why don't you wait for me to get some lilies for my mom, and then you can walk back to base with me and tell me all about this crush you've got."

[alphajocklover]

As a kid, I watched a film that had these big cavemen tie a nerd to a pole before he was saved by his archaeologist friends. Since then, the idea of a bunch of cavemen taking a nerd to physically turn him into one of them while forcefully dumbing him down makes me so aroused. Too bad it didn't even happen in the movie, let alone real life...

‘Neanderthals!’ has been one of Terrance’s favorite movies since he was a kid, which made most of his friends very confused. A lot of them couldn’t figure out why he liked it so much. Terrance was the founder, president, and only member of his high school's movie club, the volunteer movie reviewer for his college newspaper, and generally the biggest movie buff that most people ever got to meet, but his favorite movie, out of all of the choices, was a C-list kids movie where a bunch of teen archeologist unfreeze three real cavemen who were stuck in an iceberg, and have to deal with their shenanigans. It was nothing special, just a lame kids movie that wasn’t even bad enough to be funny. None of his fellow movie buffs could figure out why you loved it so much, but the answer was surprisingly simple: that movie was Terrence’s sexual awakening. Watching the trio of muscular, hairy cavemen tie up a 15 year old nerd (who was played by a 19 year old actor for some reason) and dance around him ritually woke something up inside of him. He seriously thought for a moment that he was going to watch the nerd be turned into a caveman, and that fleeting thought has stuck in his mind for years like an itch he couldn’t scratch. He became fascinated with the idea of caveman transformations, and had watched the movie dozens of times over the years. Terrance had seen it so much he thought he knew everything about his favorite movie at this point, that he had every scene, every fact memorized. Until he heard about the missing scenes.

Like many small movies, the fanbase for it was incredibly small, but dedicated. It had one small reddit page, with about 7 people who regularly posted on it regularly, Terrance among them. Things were usually pretty calm there, until one day a newcomer to the forum reported that they had found a copy of the movie with deleted scenes. At first Terrance thought it had to be a scam, but the anonymous fan claimed he’d send a copy of the deleted scenes in the mail, for free, and Terrance accepted. He doubted the guy was trying to hack him with a DVD or something, so even though Terrance wasn’t expecting much, he gave the stranger his address (the address of a PO box. He wouldn’t give your address to a stranger, he was horny not crazy). He was shocked when he actually got the DVD as promised, and even more surprised when He put it on. As it blared to life, he immediately recognized the opening! It really was ‘Neanderthals!’ Or at least a version of it! The sender seemed to have cut out most of the scenes that were the same, leaving only the missing scenes and the opening left. Terrance watched in awe, laughing at the bloopers and making notes on the different scenes that were left out. Then, finally, they got to the scene you had been hoping for. 

It started out mostly the same as it did in the original movie, with one of the teen archeologists, Hal the stereotypical nerd, being kidnapped by the three cavemen, who danced around a fire as he was tied to a nearby pole. But soon the scene changed, and unlike in the original, the cavemen turned their attention to their captive. One of the cavemen, the one who gets redeemed toward the end of the movie and marries one of the main character Moms (like I said this was a weird movie), went up to Hal and rubbed some colored mud on his face, making distinct ritualistic markings. Terrance felt warm excitement come over him as he watched the three cavemen chant and dance wildly, and watched as what he always wanted to happen happened. Hal’s skin tanned slightly and his hair grew longer, wilder and dirtier. Terrance watched, entranced, as his muscles grew beefy and defined, practically able to feel the warmth coming from the fire as you did. He could see the actor's eyes glaze over as his brain seemed to melt and devolve, and could practically feel the dumb guffaw he made echo in your ears as his face became more gruff and his intelligence drained. This was exactly what Terrance had always wanted, what Terrance had been dreaming of seeing for years! Terrance’s itch was finally being scratched, and it felt so good. Terrance felt so good. Terrance felt great! Terrance felt… horny! He practically tore off his clothing, struggling with the buttons for some reason, and began to pull at his cock. He felt himself laugh dumbly and began to mutter.

“Terry is so… horny… Terry wants… pussy!” Terrance said, despite having been gay mere moments before. He laughed dumbly as the remains of his clothing magically transformed, becoming a loincloth. Terry continued to jerk his now growing cock as his changes finalized. Terrance was gone, replaced with Terry, a dumb, buff caveman, and all Terry wanted to do was to find a cave girl to plow.

**hey there! First time doing a caveman TF. Found it very hot (but also hard to find pictures for). Hope you guys liked it!**

[text-ink-png]

The hero was feeling terrible. They should have just gone for an engineering or medical degree but instead they went for the most "glorious" job in the country. The TV show which glamorized this job was partly to be blamed. Neither did they get married nor do they have a stable pay. Life is most unfair to the best.

They slowly got back on their feet, unable to completely straighten their body due to the harsh punch which the villain sweetly gifted  them.

"You're so slow today that it's seriously getting boring. It's going to be 12 soon and I think I'll just wrap this up early and go home."

"Actually I've caught a cold. And you...you bastard you are in your top form today."

The villain laughed, walking leisurely towards the hero. "Your government really sucks. Even we have sick leaves." They clapped the hero's shoulder. "See, this is when you need to reconsider your career choices."

The hero took the chance to deliver a straight punch to the villain's guts but they were sadly blocked.

"My mom was correct, goodness is a thing of the past. Here I'm worried about you and you..." The villain tsked disapprovingly. "Now please let me do the honors of becoming the winner of this fight."

The villain's hand on their heart felt like a boulder. For a second, all hero could feel was complete darkness and panic as their heart rate decreased. They could taste death. In fact, they almost shook hands with the grim reaper before they were forcefully brought back to mortal world.

They wheezed and panted on the ground, their ears ringing and their hands shivering. Till date they had just heard about the villain's "superpower" and made fun of it. They were eating their own words now.

They were too preoccupied to notice that the villain was also in the same state. After stabilizing themselves and coming to their full senses, they understood the full gravity of the situation.

Nature had weird laws. One of them was that soul mates could feel each other's pain.

The hero looked at the villain's wide eyes.

"This means..."

"I think the fuck not. I'm out of here. I'm fucking out of here." The villain's screams echoed through the streets as they got farther and farther away while hero sat on the ground, dumbfounded at the turn of events.

Maybe the pay is terrible but they think, that at last, they'll be able to get married.

[rachetmath]

Jaune's Final Act

Jaune: Okay, so from all the information you all have shown me, again thank you all, I think we should discuss some things.

Winter: Indeed. 

Ruby: We need to do something.

Jaune: Okay, first let's discuss the Crown. As Coco told me they were a horrible organization. They target people, especially with valuable semblances. Not to mention they are now partner with Tyrian. A wild card that we may not be able to predict.

Qrow: Yeah he is a slipper guy.

Jaune: We have no idea what their next move will be so we need to be prepared. So I think we send Emerald Sustrai in to infiltrate and spy on them. 

Ruby: What- No!

Jaune: I’m sorry why not?

Nora: Jaune we can't trust her.

Jaune: why not?

Yang: Well she-

Jaune: Penny is dead. You got a new arm. Your name is clear. Get over it. First off, we don't know what Tyrian knows. Tyrian might not know what's happened in Atlas. Even so, we’re not letting go as she but in disguise. 

Nora: But Jaune-Jaune-

Jaune: The woman helped us in evacuation. And has not she not protected this city from Grimm?

Winter: Well-

Ren: She probably informed Cinder and that's-

Jaune: Has anyone interrogated her? Robyn.

Robyn: Well um-

Jaune: So we jump to conclusions. Plus this is perfect for her to prove herself so why not let her walk?

Blake: Jaune she was a-

Jaune: Blake we have files and you told me about your old life so don't try to play. 

Blake: … …

Jaune: Yang didn't you destroy someone's property and drive past the speed limit? Shouldn't you be in debt?

Yang: … … …

Jaune: Ruby you interfered in the hunting business more than one time. You know you could've been charged a fine right? In fact, you be arrested.

Ruby: Um…

Jaune: And Weiss. You. Your sister. Your mom. Or your brother. Someone's could do some time considering the Schnees' shady deals. In fact, Klian can take the fall.

Weiss and Winter: *scared*

Jaune: Like I said let her walk. We need her. Next is the Grimm attacks. They are skyrocketing. This may be due to our mistake of bringing too many people to Vacuo. Not to mention Vale citizens. So… I am afraid we need to escort some of them out.

Robyn: What?! Objection!

Obleck: I agree, Mr.Arc. That is cruel.

Jaune: Oh really how so?

Robyn: We can't force these people out. They will have nowhere to go.

Jaune: We forcefully brought these people here. They don't like being here let alone with each other. 

Robyn: Well our people-

Jaune: Stop. You talk a big game yet you haven't done jack for your people. Where were you when they needed you? What were you doing besides making their situation worse?

Robyn: EXCUSE ME!? I’ll have you-

Jaune: When you kept stealing from the military did you ever occur to you that could have caused Martial law to be In place? In fact, even without Martial law, you caused more problems like with more security. More guns. Largerer curfew hours. Was what you were trying to accomplish worth that than for your people?

Robyn: … 

Jaune: Not to mention Tyrian wouldn't be here or alive if it wasn't for a certain someone or two people for letting him escape. Was that worth it to you? Considering he hurt your team too.

Robyn: …

Winter: Say that we do consider your suggestion. How would we go about it and where would they go?

Jaune: I already spoke with Mr. Belladonna. 

Blake: My father. 

Jaune: Yep and he agrees to help. In fact, he said he could use some more hands considering the state Mantle was left in.

Ren: That isn't enough. 

Jaune: Well he also wanted to talk with you on this Ren.

Ren: He wants to use my old village.

Jaune: Yep to expand Faunus territory, gain more human relationships, and restore it. He even believes since it's your home you should one day lead it.

Ren: But- 

Jaune: Regardless that village is unclaimed territory right now. If he doesn't get it someone else will. I just want you to have your home back. You can discuss the terms with him. Your choice.

Ren: Okay.

Nora: Wait. Jaune… this could lead to our team- 

Jaune: I know.  

Winter: Okay besides that just Mistral- 

Ruby: Well we have Argus but we also have that one village we went to. And with Apathy gone, we could use that.

Jaune: But if that's the case we still need to send hunters to help.

Raven: Woo-woo kid. We can't send hunters on escort missions. 

Theodore: Yes we need as many hunters as possible. 

Jaune: Yes but we need to escort these people safely out of the city. 

Theodore: Are you suggesting what I think you are?

Jaune: …

Theodore: No.

Jaune: Sir please -

Theodore: They're just kids. First year. 

Jaune: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. And nine for Pyrrha. Ten of you count Penny.

Theodore: Your point?

Jaune: Pyrrha a first year chosen to be a maiden. She died. Penny, another first year, was placed in charge of an entire city. Became soon after. Died.

Theodore: Mr. Arc I will have you know I am nothing like Ironwood and Ozpin. 

Jaune: I know. But my point still stands. These people, students, wanted to be hunters. But they lack experience. So why not give it to them? Let them show what they got. I mean they will be monitored but still.

Theodore: Very well.

Raven: Now for the tribes.

Jaune: We already set up a meeting with them after this one.

Raven: What?

Theodore: It's true. We need to know what tribes will be against us and who we can trust. You Miss Branwen will be my ascort. 

Raven: ….

Jaune: You have more tribal knowledge than any of us. You're our best shot.

Raven: …

Jaune: So. Does anyone have any suggestions or questions about this? 

Everyone is silent. 

Jaune: Look I understand I sound cruel. But I rather for once be ahead of the game this time.

Yang: You can’t control everything Jaune.

Jaune: I know. But at least I’m doing whatever I can instead of being an ass. 

Raven: We’re screwed.

After a long battle.

Raven: Holy crap.

Emerald: That’s right. That’s right. I did this. I came through. Mercury.

Mercury: I’m officially on the hero’s side. I’m nothing like my father.

Emerald: That’s right. 

Ren: My village will restored. And one day I must lead it. Blake, I hope you will help me.

Blake: Of course my friend.

Oobleck: Our numbers have increased. New homes have been established. 

Theodore: We still have the relic despite losing our maiden. But that was the casualty of war.

Ruby: I got maiden powers now.

Jaune: You're the main character.

Ruby: F*** you.

Raven: We really increased our chances. Get work kid.

Jaune: Yeah… *died*

Ruby: No! 

Cinder: *laugh* F*** you b****!

Ruby: I WILL KILL YOU!

In heaven

Jaune: Damn. Well, at least I turned up one last time.

Pyrrha: Jau-Jaune!

Jaune: Pyrrha. Penny! Alyx! Lewis!

Jaune hugs all of them. 

Pyrrha: I’m so- I’m so- sorry.

Penny: I am too. 

Jaune: Don’t be. I wish I’m sorry I-

Pyrrha: It’s okay. You did great out there. 

James: I think-

Penny: Shut up.

Summer: I mean-

Pyrrha: You died for nothing.

Jaune: I mean, come on, I died but at least I gave the world a better chance to survive. I focused on what mattered in the present instead of the future which changes constantly. I tried to bring humans and faunas together for a common goal and maintain relationships even after Salem was finished. 

In hell

Adam: Damn

In heaven

Jaune: I may have lost my life I didn’t go out like a b****. A coward. And a control freak. I went out like a G. Like Roman. 

In hell 

Roman: Damn right.

In heaven.

Jaune: Now you excuse. 

Pyrhha: *lifted bridal style*

Jaune: I think you owe me something for all my troubles.

Pyrrha: *blushes*Um.

Jaune takes Pyrrha away.

Penny: Have fun you two!

[whatthehellami]

The hero was feeling terrible. They should have just gone for an engineering or medical degree but instead they went for the most "glorious" job in the country. The TV show which glamorized this job was partly to be blamed. Neither did they get married nor do they have a stable pay. Life is most unfair to the best.

They slowly got back on their feet, unable to completely straighten their body due to the harsh punch which the villain sweetly gifted  them.

"You're so slow today that it's seriously getting boring. It's going to be 12 soon and I think I'll just wrap this up early and go home."

"Actually I've caught a cold. And you...you bastard you are in your top form today."

The villain laughed, walking leisurely towards the hero. "Your government really sucks. Even we have sick leaves." They clapped the hero's shoulder. "See, this is when you need to reconsider your career choices."

The hero took the chance to deliver a straight punch to the villain's guts but they were sadly blocked.

"My mom was correct, goodness is a thing of the past. Here I'm worried about you and you..." They tsked disapprovingly. "Now please let me do the honors of becoming the winner of this fight."

The villain's hand on their heart felt like a boulder. For a second, all hero could feel was complete darkness and panic as their heart rate decreased. They could taste death. In fact, they almost shook hands with the grim reaper before they were forcefully brought back to mortal world.

They wheezed and panted on the ground, their ears ringing and their hands shivering. Till date they had just heard about the villain's "superpower" and made fun of it. They were eating their own words now.

They were too preoccupied to notice that the villain was also in the same state. After stabilizing themselves and coming to their full senses, they understood the full gravity of the situation.

Nature had weird laws. One of them was that soul mates could feel each other's pain.

The hero looked at the villain's wide eyes.

"This means..."

"I think the fuck not. I'm out of here. I'm fucking out of here." The villain's screams echoed through the streets as they got farther and farther away while hero sat on the ground, dumbfounded at the turn of events.

Maybe the pay is terrible but they think, that at last, they'll be able to get married.

[ckret2]

this is a little bit of a bizarre question but the way you manage to “flesh out” characters while keeping them consistent is really remarkable to me!

I’m having a lot of trouble making characters feel less ‘one-dimensional’ (especially female characters…It’s like my mind just draws a blank)

I understand it helps that most of the characters you’re writing have pre established personalities, aesthetics, etc. but I still feel like you manage to make the characters your own in a believable way.

do you have any advice for someone with this issue? if not, just know that I’m really really loving Bill-Goldilocks-Cipher and always look forward to the next chapter!!!

so the first thing you have to do is get deeply deeply obsessed with the story and then you have to go on walks fantasizing feverishly about the characters

But more serious answer:

Advice #1: Just take whatever you already know about the character and dig dig dig dig dig.

Take Wendy. She's the cool girl. Her character concept when she was designed was The Cool Girl. She's such a cool girl that by the end of the series she's symbolically represented by a bag of ice. She also says in one episode that she's NOT laid back, she's stressed all the time, because of her family.

Why is a 24/7 stressed teenager trying to give off an air of being cool and chill? Why did she start? What's she getting out of it? Why does she feel the pressure to maintain that facade? If she's so stressed, what's going on inside her head when she interacts with people? Her friends? Her boss? In one episode, she responds to both a request to hang out at a carnival and a request to start a romantic relationship with "yeah, I guess so." It's so passive. Why's she so passive in her relationships? Especially when she's so outwardly tough and assertive? What's the source of this side of her that just goes along with what other people suggest with seemingly no interest of her own—again, including a ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP? How does this relate to her being the "cool girl"? How does this relate to her deliberate decision to portray herself as "the cool girl"? In one episode she gets a scrape and the FIRST THING she does is forcefully tell Dipper NOT to freak out—why is her priority hastening to reassure the people around her before taking care of herself? She's got three younger brothers—is that how she interacts with them? Is one of them scared of blood? Does she see Dipper like one of her little brothers? Elder sisters often get handed the responsibility to act like mini-moms at young ages—did that happen to Wendy? Her mom is GONE, did that INCREASE the pressure on her? Is that why her family stresses her? What's it like in that house? Being pushed into acting like a mini-mom is a very traditionally feminine role—nurturing—which is at odds with Wendy's kinda soft butch presentation and way of speaking/acting—but is it at odds with Wendy's overall behavior? Following along with what the guys do rather than deciding for herself, passively accepting romantic propositions rather than pursuing someone she actually wants? Is she comfortable in those roles or does she feel pushed into them? Does it grate at her? Does she ever want to act assertive rather than just appear like an assertive person? Why do we never see her "we're WOMEN and we TAKE WHAT WE WANT" side more than once—and is it significant that she only pulls that out when there aren't any guys around? Does being the cool girl—supportive, accepting, nurturing, passive—chafe at her? Why's she do it?

Just keep digging. Overanalyze those tiny character details. Tie them together. Become the "I've connected the two dots" "You didn't connect shit" "I've connected them" meme. You can, will, and must connect the two dots. Treat every character like a mystery to figure out.

But your starting point is always whatever you already know about the character. You're building off of that foundation. You throw NOTHING out the window, buster—EVERY detail is important. You're not just wholesale making shit up—you're extrapolating wildly from whatever you already have. Making shit up always feels unanchored and vague. I said in an ask a few days ago that I headcanon Wendy likes that "stomp clap hey" hipster music genre. I didn't grab that randomly. I grabbed it because when we see her bedroom, she's got a poster with a banjo on it; she's super stoked to go to the Woodstick festival, and when she shows some of the featured indie bands to Dipper she focuses on two of the hipsteriest-sounding ("Scarves Indoors," "Wood Grain on Everything") and the apparent headlining band is the Handlebar Bros (just look at them); and she desperately wants to move to Portland, which in 2012 was the hipster capitol of North America—that's the culture she wants to escape to. No making shit up!! BUILD OFF WHAT YOU HAVE.

And Advice #2: you're telling a story, here. You have a plotline. Shape your characters to serve the story you're telling. What kind of a story are you telling? I'm telling a story about the destructive consequences of being a "special" kid—gifted kids, child celebrities, pageant kids, kids pushed to fill adult roles too young—the perfectionism, the burnout, the fear that anything short of excellence is insufficiency, the need for external validation, seeking love through fame rather than intimacy. When I'm looking at shallow characters and seeing how to fit them into the story, I'm prodding at them to see whether anything we know about them holds the potential to comment on themes like that—and then, if they do, that gives me an direction to dig in that already personally fascinates me, because it helps me weave this character into the story I already want to tell. If a character doesn't inherently carry any of those themes—then what can I do with the contrast between this character and the others?

And then, sometimes, I'm telling a story about two guys getting hunted down by a tooth fairy that desperately wants to steal one's teeth and a dentist that's willing to do anything she says but not motivated to furiously avenge her when she's defeated. Now I've got to make up two characters completely from scratch, BUT I don't have to make them up aimlessly. I already know the exact shapes they need to be fill their assigned positions in the story—I know what they need to do to make the story work—and now I can build them from the edges in, to make them the kinds of people they need to be to perform the actions I want to serve the plot they're in. And from there I can build them just like any character—I take the things they need to be, the things I already know about them (the dentist obeys the fairy but doesn't want to avenge her) and I dig dig dig (why would he not want to avenge her if he's so obedient? Does he obey her out of obligation but not true loyalty? Why? What kind of a person does this make him?)

And the tl;dr of all of that advice is:

so the first thing you have to do is get deeply deeply obsessed with the story and then you have to go on walks fantasizing feverishly about the characters

[lostdreamr-blog1]

Seresin's Date

Summary: You had a date that night, but your brother wanted to be there to meet him. Don’t want to give too much away but know big brother Jake isn’t happy!

Pairings: Jake Seresin x Sister!Reader, Mystery Date x Reader

Warnings: Use of swear words, not too much else

Word count: 1.7k

Requested: Thank you Anon for this fun request! I hope you enjoy it!!

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading. Inbox is open for requests, questions, or to say hello! If you have requested something, know that it is being worked on!

Jake was currently tapping his foot on the ground, agitation rolling off him in waves. It was clear to anyone around him that the laid-back pilot wasn’t here today, and they would do best to tread lightly. Natasha had been dying to know what had him all riled up, but the day was filled with training runs and debriefs. It wasn’t until they were walking to the locker room that she was able to poke the bear.

“What has your panties in a twist?” Bob shook his head at how little she cared about his feelings but was secretly curious as well. From past experiences, it took a lot to get him as wound up as he is now.

“Don’t want to talk about it.” They didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered to the clock on the wall, giving them a small clue to work with.

“Afraid you’re going to be late for whatever girl you brainwashed into going out with you?” Natasha knew it wasn’t that simple. Jake hadn’t been bragging all day about who he picked up at the bar. But she knew that was the best way to get him talking.

They reached the locker room and Jake forcefully opened his locker, tossing his helmet inside.

“My sister has a date tonight and I want to be there to meet this son of a bitch. Let him know that she isn’t the kind of girl he can mess with. But now I’m running late, and she made it clear she wasn’t waiting on me.” They all watched him run a hand through his hair, silently taking in this new side of him.

Javy knew this was going to happen. Of all the sisters Jake had, you were the one he kept a close eye on. Growing up, you weren’t the perfect southern bell your mom had tried to mold, and your dad was too focused on his career to do much parenting. Leaving Jake to be the parental figure you needed to stay out of trouble as well as be shown the love and affection that you missed out on. The two of you had an unbreakable bond which made situations like this tough on him. No matter how old you got, you were still his baby sister.

“Your sister? The one who just moved here like a week ago?” Jake sent a threatening glare at Bob who spoke up for the first time. This resulted in him throwing his hands up in surrender, hoping Jake wasn’t going to turn on him.

“Yeah, that one. I don’t even understand how she found a guy that fast. Or where for that matter.” He had finished changing into his civilian clothes and turned to face the guy whose locker was next to his.

“What? Nothing to add, bird boy?” Bradley wanted to say many things but decided to keep them to himself. Jake hadn’t ever laid hands on a fellow pilot, no matter how provoked, but he wasn’t about to test the boundaries.  

“Nah man. Just try not to kill the poor guy tonight. I don’t think the military takes too kindly on murderers.” Bradley couldn’t hold back the small smirk but didn’t dare to meet Jake’s gaze. He knew it wouldn’t end well if he did.

Jake let out a huff and stormed out of the room. Javy told him in passing to call him if needed. He had no issues being back up when it came to the Seresin family.

With some miracle of not getting pulled over on the way to your apartment, Jake practically ran up the stairs to the second floor, taking two steps at a time. He unlocked the door to find you dancing around in shorts and a tank top, music being played louder than it should, not looking like you were anywhere near being ready.

Your face lit up when you saw your brother walking through the doorway. “Perfect timing! I need help picking out what to wear.” You saw the eye roll that was directed towards you, but you knew it was playful. Skipping back to your room, you came back out holding up two simple dresses. A black one and a red one. They really weren’t anything fancy, but colors seemed to make a difference no matter the style.

“Neither. Go put on some jean and a sweater or something.” Jake leaned back on the counter and crossed his arms, watching as you shook your head at him.

“It’s summer in California. While it may get a bit chilly with the wind, I’m not dressing for winter just to please you. I think I’ll go with the black.” You walked back into your room to change, but a knock on the door stopped you. Your date was ten minutes early, something that would please your brother but now had you scrambling to finish getting ready.

You yelled out, “Play nice. I didn’t put makeup on for nothing, so you better not run the guy off.” Grumbling was what was heard from the other room, but you smiled to yourself as you waited for the next few minutes to play out.

Jake opened the door and tilted his head to the side in confusion.   

“What are you…” Then it clicked. His teammate with the obnoxious mustache was standing at your door in a nice button-down shirt and slacks, holding a bouquet of flowers. “Absolutely fucking not. Turn your ass around and leave.”

Bradley knew he was going to be fighting an uphill battle the second you told him your last name a few days ago. Somehow, he got lucky and accidentally bumped into you at the supermarket. The two of you seemed to hit it off, and he almost didn’t believe when you said you were related to Jake.

And it didn’t help that Jake was quicker than he was leaving today. Maverick was doing him a solid and purposely dragging out the debrief, hoping to give him enough time to slip past his teammate.

But one thing he didn’t put into thought was that right now Jake wasn’t his teammate. Right now, he was the overprotective brother who wanted nothing more than to kill him.

“There is nothing I can say right now that will make you happy, is there?” Bradley casually looked over Jake’s shoulder, hoping if he could prolong this conversation, you would come to his rescue.

“Unless the words consist of, ‘Tell your sister I’m sorry and have a good night’ then no.” Jake blocked the doorway, not letting Bradley see any bit inside your apartment. His mind was struggling to figure out what to say, but a small hand appeared on Jakes chest and pushed him back.

“You know, I figured you would be happier knowing that one of your teammates is looking after me and not some stranger I picked up at a bar. Unless you would rather that, then I can head there instead?” Bradley watched as the smirk that Jake always had was used against him by his little sister. Now he saw how the two of you were related. If the situation was different, he probably would’ve laughed. Instead, he bit back a smile and watched as his teammate fumbled for a response.

If he thought Jake’s change in attitude this afternoon was crazy, this took a while new level. The arrogant aviator was nowhere to be seen. In his place was someone who clearly cared for his sister but didn’t want to push her away. He thought about what he was going to say rather than spewing words that were designed to get under your skin. For once, Jake wasn’t in control of the situation, and it was eye opening watching him struggle to stay above water.

“I would be happier knowing you weren’t going out with any guy. I just want you to be safe.” Jake was gripping the doorframe with white knuckles, showing just how hard he was trying to keep his cool. But all that went out the door when you said what you did next.

“You come home talking about how great of a teammate Bradley is and how much you trust him to watch your back. Is that not someone you think I would be safe with?”

Bradley watched as your head tilted to the side some, feigning innocence even though you knew exactly what those words were going to do. Jake didn’t know if he wanted to yell at you or Bradley, so he threw up his hands instead.

“I never said that. Don’t go filling his head with lies when we both know it isn’t true.” He turned back to Bradley and pointed a finger at him. “You bring her back by 11 and not a second later. You hurt her and you will have much bigger problems than whether you are going to make the cut for this mission or not. I don’t care that you are a teammate, that’s my baby sister and she means more than your life does. Do I make myself clear?”

Bradley nodded his head and held out a hand for him to shake. Jake looked down at it and sighed, “God this is stupid.” But shook it anyway.

You gave Jake a quick kiss on the cheek and told him you will call if you need anything. But as you were leaving Jake asked, “Could I introduce you to Phoenix? She seems like a way better choice.”

You tossed your head back and laughed, making Jake smile reluctantly in return. “Don’t try and sneak in. I’ll be waiting up for you.” He gave you and wink and let the two of you walk off to the date that he never in a million years wanted to happen.

When the two of you were out of sight, Jake picked up his phone and dialed Javy. “Hey man. How do you feel about crashing a date?”

A/N: Thoughts? Likes or dislikes? Thank you so much for reading!  

[queerweirdness]

CW: mention of addiction

When Eddie got out of the hospital after being practically eaten by bats, he and Steve had started dating. It was going perfectly, the group had accepted them with open arms, Wayne was happy for them, and they had Steve’s entire house to themselves when they wanted it. It was going a little too perfectly for Eddie. He had been raised in poverty, with an abusive dad who gave him one hell of an addiction gene, and then moved in with his uncle, still in poverty but treated better. He wasn’t used to nice things and getting what he wanted. Steve was so nice and gave him whatever he wanted, despite Eddie’s protests.

He’s been out of the hospital for about two months now, his name has been cleared and his wounds have healed enough for him to move around. One of the first stops he made after being able to move again was to Rick’s, to get more supplies so he could keep dealing, after all, the money the government had given them was almost gone after buying a new trailer, new furniture, and new clothes. They had lost everything when the town split, so they had to repurchase everything. They only had a few hundred dollars left after everything was all said and done. He had to start selling again, it was his way of income. Wayne still had the job at the plant, one of the only things that didn’t get destroyed.

Rick had given him some stuff to sell to get himself back in business, and he was eternally thankful. He may have had to upcharge people, but he was getting the money. Eddie had forcefully gotten clean during his stay at the hospital. He hadn’t done anything other than smoke weed in the two months he's been out. That didn’t mean he was going to stop selling. Selling kept the lights on, the water working, and the trailer cooled against the summer heat. He couldn’t stop just because he stopped using.

Things with Steve were perfect, until he found out he was selling again. He tried to hide it at first, worried Steve would think he was using again, but it was kind of hard when the man was attached to his hip. He had come home from a dnd session one day to Steve sitting on his bed, looking pissed. “Is everything okay baby? You seem upset.” Eddie thought maybe he had a bad day at work, or his head was hurting again, never expecting the answer he got. “Eddie. Why is there ketamine in your closet? I thought you were clean. Did you lie to me?” Oh shit. “Baby I promise I'm clean. I’ve been dealing again. I started back up two weeks ago. I didn’t tell you because I was trying to avoid this. Trying to avoid you thinking I was using. I’m clean, I swear. I just sell them.” Steve visibly softened at that. “I’m glad you're clean, but why are you selling? After what happened?” Eddie took a deep breath. “What happened to Chrissy was not my fault. She was going to die anyway. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You know that. I have to sell Steve. I don't have a choice.” 

Steve looked pissed again. “No, it wasn’t your fault. But you have a choice. You don’t have to do this. Tell Rick that your deal is off. I don’t want you selling anymore. It is dangerous. Not only are you tempting yourself but what if someone hurts you? Or you see someone OD? What then?” Eddie scoffs “It’s not your choice. Rick isn't forcing me to sell for him. In fact, he tried to get me to stop selling when he found out I was clean. I’ve been selling since I was 12 Steve. You think I don't carry a knife?” Eddie carefully avoids the OD question. Steve knows that his mom died, but not how. He doesn’t know that Eddie watched her OD on their couch at the ripe age of 6. “What if someone has a gun?” “Then they get what they want. I’m smart enough to know whoever has the gun gets what they want.” “And if you see someone OD? What then?” Eddie scoffs. “Then I will call an ambulance and hightail it out of there. I’m not dumb Steve. And I'm not a child. You don’t have to worry about me.” 

“You’re acting like one. Why are you selling if you don’t have to? Do you really want the extra cash that bad?” That struck a nerve. “What extra cash Steve?! My money goes to the bills! I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don't exactly have nice things! I can’t afford them. And if I don't sell, we don't eat!” “Eddie. Calm down.” “Do not fucking tell me to calm down! Not everybody has a fucking trust fund Steve! Some of us barely eat!” “Wayne works a bunch of overtime at the plant. Where does all that money go?” “To the bills! He makes just over minimum wage! He has to feed me and himself, and now often you! He has to keep the lights on, the water on, the AC on! He can't do it by himself! You think I want to sell?! You think I want to help people ruin their lives?! Nobody wants to do this! But I have to. I don't have another choice. Eddie can feel the tears running down his face, the anger rising in his throat. “I don’t understand.” “No, you don't, and I'm so glad you don’t. But that's the thing. You’ve never had to live the way I have, so you don’t get to judge me for how I survive. I’m poor Steve. I’m just trying to survive.” 

“Okay. Okay. Just sit down and talk to me, yeah?” “Okay. I'm sorry for yelling, it's just that I've done this for so long. I know how to be safe. And I don't have a choice. I have to do this to pay the bills.” “Okay, you have to do this to earn money. Now, I mean this as nicely as possible but it's gonna come off kind of rude. Why not just get a job?” “Holy shit. You really don’t get it do you? My dad made a name for himself, and apparently for me. I was already on the rocks for just who my dad was, then I went and topped it off by getting accused of murder. Would you hire me? I tried to get a job. Nobody would hire me.” “Okay, yeah I forgot about your dad and the murder thing only made it worse. I get why you have to deal. Just, be safe. Please. And talk to me if you think about using again. I promise I'm here for you even if I never went through it.” “I know stevie, and thank you. I promise I'm being as safe as I can be. It;s not like I'm gonna get arrested. The chief of police basically adopted me.” “Fair point. Now come here. I hate fighting.”

Turns out things are still perfect with Steve, that was just a slight hiccup.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

https://www.tumblr.com/allnewalldifferentwildspider/748862622231838720/the-reason-im-so-vulgar-in-regards-to-aangs

What a bunch of bullshit.

"He makes no effort to get to know or understand her" they're literally traveling the whole world together - and their original reason for doing that was because he wanted to help her go to the North Pole to learn waterbending, something which means a lot to her. Just because the writers didn't think the audience was stupid and needed a scene of them sitting down and telling each other a list of their flaws, qualities and motivations, doesn't mean their relationship was shallow.

"We get the MALE GAZE from him" Wow, he thinks a pretty girl is pretty. What a crime.

"He doesn't try to find out what happened to her mom" he didn't have to, she fucking told him basically right away. Complaining about that is like complaining he never asked if Sokka was her brother, even though one of the first things Sokka ever said to Aang was "And this is Katara, my flying sister"

"He always gets surprised when she's mad about something" Aang, the naturally cheery person, is pretty much ALWAYS surprised whenever ANYONE is angry, because that's not an emotionl he usually experiences much. Doesn't mean he doesn't get her - and I say this as a very grumpy person.

And ya know who else gets surprised at Katara's anger all the time? Zuko. The guy that sent an assassin after her group because Katara had to bring Aang back to life after Azula killed him - which only happened because Zuko helped her when Aang and Katara had her cornered.

Funny how things are only bad when Aang does it, but totally okay when Zuko does them in VERY different contexts that obviously paint him in a negative light for good reason.

"He hates the food and culture that she loves so much" Disliking a culture's food is not the same as hating said culture. We only see him talk shit about the Water Tribe's hunting culture once: in the Bato episode, in his friends are accidentally shutting him out of the conversation because they're too excited about being reunited with someone that is basically family. A 12-year-old throwing a tantrum is not the same as him being openly racist. Ya know what IS racist though? Zuko supporting his nation's attempt to genocide the water tribes.

"He doesn't respect her boundaries and kisses her twice without her consent" ONE poorly timed kiss is not the same as him forcefully holding her in place and kissing her, or even asking first then going for it anyway after she said an explicit no. And Katara visibly enjoyed the kiss during the eclipse episode, and was basically cuddlying with him on Appa afterwards.

"He keeps trying to talk for her when she's angry" You mean literally the same thing Zuko did in Southern Raiders?

"He expects her to do the work for their relationship... but he also makes wild assumptions about them being an item already... but he also wanted to talk things out with her to make sure he got it right..." I don't even need to tear these apart, the OP did it for me by making their arguments contradict each other. How kind of them.

"Aang wants the beautiful image of Katara. He wants that pretty face, those big blue eyes, that body, those long legs, those hips, the chest, and the hair that is just so manageable" While Aang is attracted to her, he NEVER mentioned a single one of those things, ever. The hair thing was literally MENG being insecure about her own hair. If you wanna simp for Katara, go ahead and do it, there's nothing wrong with it, but don't act like Aang only sees her a piece of meat.

"He has no interest in the complex, strong, hurt, angry, and caring person that Katara actually is" Ah yes, that's why he doesn't cheer her on when she's fighting Pakku, or helps her with the Painted Lady thing because he admires her compassion, or tells her she gives him hope, or calls her sifu, or accepts that she won't kill Yon Rah but also won't forgive... oh wait, he did do all those things.

"I'm calling it like I see it" Too bad you need glasses and refuse to wear them.

"Aang doesn't actually like Katara; he's just really horny for her" Considering your random description of why she's so hot in a post that has nothing to do it, all while ignoring her agency that used to choose Aang, I'd say that's more likely to be an accurate description of YOU than of our protagonist. Sorry, just calling it like I see it.

[generousstrawberrynightmare]

the transformers megatron family album the terrans part : 3

MEGATRON : twitch and thrash whenever food organic or not especially organic is left unguarded or supervised and someone is not cautious with them or the food they've become addicted to the organic ever since the kids fed them some and fed for a few weeks and now no one can have food energon or organic without being stared down or watched and often they're food goes missing and often the little trouble makers are caught in the act of stealing the food or eating it twitch and one photo stole the malto mom's cheesy hot dog and growled over it for five minutes before gobbling it down no remorse😂 she's really like me🤣 the other photo thrash stole and a cheesy hot dog from one of the ghost agents and over it for five minutes to and ate it before snatching another and eating it they've stolen food from Optimus prime😂 and attempted to steal from me it failed I gave them the stare and they never tried it with me again😏

MEGATRON : being bilingual has it's perks but can be troubling 😒 frankly I don't think the maltos or any other human should learn our language until we get better Cybertron technology and for security purposes 😮‍💨 but it is fun to watch the reactions from those they attempt to talk like the kids in this accidentally calling shockwave a fragger😂😂 his face when Robby said that and starscream when his sister called him the B word accidentally and scrapper his f was unbelievable and funny😂🤣 they did it with me first both siblings good thing I knew they were practicing or I would've had a talk with the parents about they're kids language at least they're trying☺️😏.

MEGATRON : 🙄😒 another incident with rumble luckily thrash defended himself like I told him to and won I'm so proud 😁 sure he knocked out some rumble's teeth and got stared down by soundwave 🥲 but I'm proud😃 and he defended his sister twitch who rumble was making fun of and bullying 😁 he was bitten badly rumble who ended being forcefully held down while he was administered shots for diseases and tested for diseases especially after the little bugger bit me hard😡🤬 but thrash okay.

MEGATRON : starscream needs to be monitored when on the Internet with hashtag😒😮‍💨 he's been banned multiple times from the Internet for cussing and bad behavior all in front of hashtag who picked up some of the bad words unfortunately😒 perhaps he should be monitored on the Internet even without hashtag and the kids.

MEGATRON : 😃 the kids are so fun both the humans and terrans starscream needed a bath and the kids pushed the stubborn seeker into the bathwater to help and play with him he was not pleased especially since hashtag tricked and pushed him in I taught the kids well😂 starscream was not pleased😂😂🤣🤣.

[inquisitor-apologist]

Force, I am SO frustrated with the Filonification of popular Star Wars. People keep on trying to make arguments about Star Wars, yet they refuse to actually watch Star Wars and make sensible criticisms about it because they’re literally just parroting whatever weird non-canonical shit Felony spit out in an article last week.

I was looking at this article:

And I was legitimately trying to look at the criticisms and see if I can agree with any of them, but they don’t make any sense and I can just feel Filoni oozing off them.

So imma rant, got it?

Mistake Number 1 that led to the fall of the order: They were too much into politics.

More specifically, the article claims that “they very much had a hand in the flipping the Senate” with reference to the Vote of No Confidence for Valorum in tpm, but it’s been a minute and a half since I saw the prequels, so I read the Wookie summary, and I might’ve missed something but I don’t think there’s any mention of them, like, voting or doing anything significant in the Senate in ep1? I feel like it would’ve been mentioned if it was even vaguely implied that the Jedi mind tricked the senate or lobbied for the vote to go one way or another, but it isn’t mentioned anywhere and it don’t square with what I remember, so I’m guessing they just made this up and convinced themselves it was canon? Tell me if you can figure out what they’re talking about or if there is a canon basis I missed.

Other than that, I do not remember a single scene where we saw the Jedi do anything more political than take orders from politicians or exist in the senate building in the prequels.

Mistake Number 2 that led to the fall of the order: Suppressing Baby Murderer’s emotions.

…A Take, certainly. So this one’s talking about Anakin’s grief over his mother’s death, which I agree would be a fucked-up thing to suppress. That’d suck. If it actually happened because… the Jedi do not know that Anakin’s mom is dead. They do not know that Anakin and Padmé went to Tatooine, since they were ordered to stay on Naboo. They are utterly unaware of everything that happens on Tatooine aside from Yoda feeling the Tusken Massacre in the Force. Yeah, Anakin told Obi-Wan that he’d had dreams about his mom dying, and he didn’t do anything about it, but that wasn’t Obi Wan suppressing Anakin’s emotions—that was just him saying that it sucked that he had a bad dream, since I don’t think Anakin said it could’ve been a vision or anything, so this one doesn’t land at all. Where did they get this idea???

Mistake Number 3 that led to the fall of the order: ‘Allowing’ Maul to take over Mandalore (somehow?)

I can feel my brain cells dying. Maul joined up with a terrorist group and some crime gangs to forcefully take over a neutral system. None of that was ‘allowed’ by the Jedi. They also say that the Jedi ‘sent’ Obi Wan to get rid of Maul when I remember Yoda telling Obi Wan some shit like “Send anyone to Mandalore the Jedi cannot” and then Obi Wan went to Mandalore anyway and it didn’t do shit. Anyway I feel like the author of this article might own a ridiculously annoying cowboy hat. Just a hunch.

Mistake Number 4 that led to the fall of the order: Baselessly Exiling Ahsoka (Baselessly?? There very much was base)

So. Wrong Jedi Arc my beloathed. Here we are again. The article claims that the Jedi “exiled Ahsoka Tano on mere suspicion alone and didn't even confirm whether she was involved in the bombing of the Jedi Temple or not”. Which. Hmm. So, there was a big investigation into the bombing that pretty definitely said that Ahsoka was almost certainly the bomber. It wasn’t ‘mere suspicion’, it was all the fucking evidence very clearly pointing to her. She ran away, she worked with a damn separatist assassin, she was found in a warehouse filled with the bombs. The audience know she was framed, but the characters don’t because the whole point of framing someone is to convince the other people they did it. If the Jedi had exiled her for this, they would’ve been being very reasonable and justified. Will also point out that the Jedi were forced by the Senate to exile her and did not want to. They apologized and let her back in as soon as they possibly could.

Also there’s this weird (actually!) baseless claim that Ahsoka was one of the most powerful Jedi in the Clone Wars. Which has no proof because it’s untrue—she’s a padawan with max 2 years of training. There’s no way she’s more powerful than a fully trained knight, of which there were still quite a few. But of course she is, because she’s Felony’s beloved OC who can do no wrong.

Mistake Number 5 that led to the fall of the order: Not giving Baby Murderer power

I am convinced that no one involved in writing or editing this article has actually watched RotS, and has only ever listened to Felony talk about RotS. They claim that ‘they invited Anakin over to the Council as a pseudo-member and his only task was to spy on the Chancellor. Not only was this political meddling once again, but it was also an insult to Anakin’ oh no, they insulted Anakin, clearly this means he’s justified in murdering them! Also, the Jedi Council apparently wanted to appoint Anakin, they weren’t literally forced into it by Palpatine. You know, that scene where Palpatine is like “yeah, I’ve forced the council to put you on the council even though they don’t want you there. You’re my spy on the council now” that didn’t happen actually. The Jedi were completely evil in not allowing the unstable baby murderer a full seat on their governing body when they were forced to put him there through nepotism. Them asking the only guy who’s close enough with the chancellor to investigate him because he’s overstayed his term and is overreaching with his powers is also completely evil and awful and unjustified. Uh huh.

Mistake Number 6 that led to the fall of the order: Mace Windu Wants To Kill Palpatine Right Away (direct quote from the article)

Yeah, you read that right. I can’t make this shit up, but filoni sure as fuck can. So, Mace Windu learns that the shady Chancellor that’s been overreaching with his authority and has overstated his term is also an evil Sith that has manipulated both sides of the war to gain power, causing the deaths of millions, including a shit ton of Mace’s people and friends, because said chancellor drafted them to fight in the war that he created. This would make Mace pretty damn justified in killing Palpy imo, but Mace specifically goes to arrest him for his crimes. Palpatine then kills three other Jedi Masters in cold blood and attempts to kill Mace, and when Mace beats him he still tries to arrest him—y’know that whole “You are under arrest, my lord” bit?—until the guy tries to fucking electrocute him with his fucking hands and it becomes clear that there is no way to take him in peacefully. Only after palpatine murders 3 people in front of him, attempts to murder Mace in combat, and makes it clear that he cannot be taken in alive does Mace attempt to kill him. No matter how you slice it, that’s not him wanting to kill the bitch right away.

Also the article tries to say that Anakin wanted to bring Palpatine in because he recognized that he should stand trial, which is technically what he says, but he also screams “I need him!” in that same scene so I think we know why he really doesn’t want Palpy to die.

Mistake Number 7 that led to the fall of the order: They didn’t train Luke and Leia

Now this might seem baffling because the article is supposedly talking about things that caused the fall of the order and Luke and Leia weren’t even born until after the fall of the order, but I can assure you that the article does not explain this in any way.

Still, let’s pretend this makes sense with the subject of the article and press on. The article asks what was stopping Obi Wan from training Luke as a Jedi on Tatooine. I feel like the answer might have something to do with the fact that the twins were so powerful that the Jedi were afraid that the emperor could sense them if they were next to each other. Formal training would make them stronger and more likely to be sensed, so they didn’t do it until they had to. This probably would be the most reasonable thing in here if the article wasn’t about what caused the fall of the order.

Mistake Number 8 that led to the fall of the order: Not telling Luke about Vader

Yet another Thing That Lead to the Fall of the Jedi Order that somehow happened after the fall of the order, but if I focus on that I might start screaming, so we move on.

This article leads you to believe that all the problems in ESB could’ve been solved if only Obi Wan had told Luke about Vader. Hmm. Yoda says in RoJ that Luke wasn’t ready for the information when he was told at the end of ESB, which seems very true based on the fact that Luke was unable to accept the information when told, was described by George Lucas as suicidal afterwards, and is suddenly unable to consider killing Mr. Evil Baby Murderer Space Fascist afterwards because of their family connection, and you want Obi-Wan to tell him earlier?

You know that OT Luke would, upon hearing that information before Cloud City, have immediately jumped in his X-Wing and raced to confront Vader. If he found Vader in that state, Luke would’ve been even more unbalanced and unfocused, which would’ve lead to him losing the duel worse and being either killed or captured by Vader, since Leia wouldn’t have been close enough to save him.

Mistake Number 9 that led to the fall of the order: Not believing people who had been dead for 1,000 years were back without proof

I want you to imagine a hypothetical with me: a guy that is somehow vaguely influential in politics walks up to the UN and tells them that Leif Eriksson and the Vikings are back and coming to kill everybody. This man has no proof beyond what he and a couple of people with him say , and there has been no indication of this at all before he shows up. I know in that scenario I’d want the UN to throw him out until he had proof.

That’s the modern day equivalent of Qui Gon telling the Jedi the Sith are back. He’s making a huge claim with no evidence. You can’t expect the Jedi to immediately believe him no questions asked. The instant there’s actual proof of this, we see the two most influential and powerful Jedi, Mace and Yoda, talking about how they need to look out for other Sith. They are taking the threat seriously, they just aren’t omniscient like the audience.

Mistake Number 10 that led to the fall of the order: When they were enemies of the state who would be killed if they didn’t hide, they hid

Truly, a horrible mistake. Now they’re mad at Obi Wan and Yoda for going into hiding, unlike other survivors of Order 66. Other survivors such as Kanan, Ahsoka, Cal, and Quinlan, perhaps. All of these characters went into hiding. Cal and Kanan were forced out of hiding, and Ahsoka helped with the early rebellion while remaining in hiding, but pretty much every order 66 survivor tried to go into hiding.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go cry.

[t00thpasteface]

How do you like the mash movie?

I saw the series first, my dad is a fan and we used to watch it together, and was surprised at its more serious tone. Frank Burns also struck me as also a pathetic idiot but in such a different way and also has these evil vibes. Because of you I discovered the books, got them, and im having even more shocks!

i fucking LOVED IT. i was absolutely HOWLING the entire time. my favorite bits were:

the opening where you see the dangling arms of the bodies in the choppers??? oh my god. i was like GASP. the insane blood and gore was awesome and really drove home how petty and wacky everyone's being

hawkeye's stupid tinted glasses and bucket hat <3 sooo 70s.

mulcahy getting immediately ignored the second he's introduced. mulcahy basically acting like a frightened mouse in every scene he has. he is so sad. he's really not cut out for this

frank being introduced as an aggressive bible thumper (very funny contrast to the likeable and shy priest) so him cheating on his wife with margaret, who is also married, is even funnier

radar(!!) being the one who puts the mic under frank and margaret's bed

mulcahy hearing them bang, leaning in bc he thinks it's a radio program he enjoys, and going D: when he Realizes

suicide is painless. holy shit. did you know a 14 y/o wrote the lyrics? his dad said "i needed the lyrics to be extremely stupid, and 14 year old boys are masters of stupidity." mom just learned that and has been telling all her 50-60 y/o friends. also both versions in the movie are sung beautifully (and thus hilariously)

the unbelievable fruitiness of hawkeye and trapper at all points but especially in the golf related scenes

trapper spawning the olives out of nowhere. player.placeatme olivejar 1

bring me the sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes! (dramatic zoom)

RADAR STEALING HENRY'S BLOOD??

hawkeye's entire interaction with painless just SCREAMING "chaotic bisexual who's been out the longest of anyone in the friendgroup and will forcefully yank you out of the closet the second you start questioning"

racists do not get dignified with a response. racists get shoved out of their chair

DON'T LET HIM KISS YOU HAWKEYE!

frank getting carted away in a straitjacket and never seen again

margaret hating the idea of football until the general wants it and suddenly she's a cheerleader with pigtails bc she's completely spineless. god she's so evil in this i LOVE horrible evil women. full agency at being the worst person ever <333 i support women's wrongs and i love watching chicks who are just slow-motion car crashes

"i was thinking we should have some plays, cause yknow, football teams always have plays" "actually i took the liberty of drawing about seven or eight plays for us to try ^_^" "great! ...what do these arrows mean?"

MASH EM! SMASH EM! KILL, KILL, KILL!

OH MY GOD THEY SHOT HIM!!!

hawkeye suddenly not wanting to leave once he's actually able to 🥺

end credits being read over the loudspeaker like the other movie night announcements. so. cute.

okay sorry. good movie. i had fun and cried laughing ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[thestarfishinjootsoffice]

Love at first sight pt2

RZ Michael x gn reader

Summary: little dude lashes and you're lowkey scared of him so now he tries to make it up to you.

_____________________________________________

So he forcefully grabbed your hand made you turn to him and intensely stare at you with those dull black eyes. he thinks it's clear now that he's sorry but it's not. You feel as if your spine and heart is gonna jump out of your body and run away without you. Did you do something wrong?

"Uhm.. Michael.. Did I do something wrong? If so I'm sorry...!"

Michael thought, yeah you did something wrong, you ignored me! And you talked to somebody else the whole time too...

While you were thinking something stupid like accidentally talking too loud or maybe brushing against him too roughly.

"Forgive me..." You muttered that last part because how ashamed and stupid you felt, noticing how you bad you feared the one person who you talked so happily to.

The painfully tight grip never leaving your wrist as if to not let you go, which is making you nervous. You know his history with violence, he doesn't give mercy to both girls and boys or anyone in fact. You thought he was thinking of beating you up.

Michael was thinking as to how he can show to forgive you since he's doesn't wanna speak and then memories of he and his mom came to mind, at how when he breaks something and his mom forgives him by hugging him. He was a bit reluctant since he hasn't done had or gave affection to anyone for so long but it's just putting your arms around a person's body, easy.. Right?

Poor boy didn't know how flustered and awkward he would get. He was slowly lifting him arms up and you were he was gonna strangle you. You were mentally preparing yourself while also hoping guards would help you because you did not want to die just yet.

He wasn't even touching your body yet his face felt so warm. He warmed his arms around you really tightly which lowkey surprised both of you, especially you. Is he going to squeeze you to death!?

If he wasn't wearing his mask you would think he added too much blush on his face. It stayed like that for a few seconds no matter how much Michael's brain was telling him to push you off it seemed his heart was in the lead finally starting to accept it? And you were starting to like it too. But that moment was disturbed when guards who were passing by saw what was happening and thought he was trying to kill you.

"You beast! The hell are you doing now!?"

"Michael let go of them."

You couldn't even speak before the guards pulled you apart. "Tryna be sneaky motherfucker?" The mean guard who was behind you said, great. You got the mean guard again. Michael growled at them.

"No! He wasn't trying to do anything!"

"What, you thought he was hugging ya?" He started laughing hideously.

"Yes.." You look down.

Both of them stop and look at you.

"You sure he was hugging you?"

"It was like that for 15 seconds or more, if he wasn't I would already be dead. Wouldn't you agree?"

Oblivious to you Michael was absolutely burning inside out of embarrassment and was so close to to actually strangling and squeezing you playfully for you to stop talking but the handcuffs behind were refraining him from doing so.

_____________________________________________

"What!? This is absolutely fascinating and incredible!" Doctor loomis exclaimed.

"Bring them in!" He said once again.

And then suddenly you were in loomis's office and loomis was more focused on Michael than you commanding him to talk Or respond to him.

And you just sat there feeling immense guilt, just when he finally interacted with you this happens.

_____________________________________________

You were sure Michael hated you again but was surprised when he sat next to you at breakfast and he brought some papers and masks to make!

He scribbled something down barely readable, "you said you had three in mind" He listened!

"Oh yeah!"

"So I was thinking of adding red dripping and..."

It seemed as if time had stopped and the world was mute. He was cherishing the time he had with you and it all felt so lovely... He loved you. Wait what? He loved you?

What Michael just thought scared him and he rushed to the bathroom to compose himself. He was in love? What do you keep doing to him Y/n... When did he start catching feelings? Yesterday? No. A week ago? No. A month ago? No! Then he traced back into his memories when he first saw you. At how his heart dropped when he saw your face.. It was a love at first sight. It was five months ago... He was in love for five months without him even noticing. He felt so warm when he was near you which weirded him out since he had never felt this way before. But.. He won't let anyone else feel this way about you.

He came back looking a little rougher.

"Hey Michael! What happened?"

He just shook his head in response and continued making masks with you. Unknown to you while you were talking to him that he couldn't actually seem to focus on anything other than you and your voice. He's on edge at the new realisation and was thinking of the outcomes of what will happen if he confessed. He likes scenario B. You accept him in scenario B.

While you two were finishing up Dr. Loomis announced that two inmates will be sharing rooms now since the hospital is packed and needs more space.

"Ah Michael, Y/n." Dr. Loomis came up to you two.

"Yes Dr. Loomis?" You ask.

"You and Michael will be sharing a room." wink wink

"Oh, that's wonderful!" You exclaimed, sharing a room with your crush friend? How could you not be excited?

Michael didn't know how to feel, he was a bit nervous yes, but atleast he can be with you all day and night.

_____________________________________________

My guy's getting a little too possessive wink wink.

Also sorry if the first half doesn't make sense I literally started making part two right when I woke up. And sorry if this was too short and boring I didn't have much of an inspiration to write. 😿

[freakshowtwopointoh]

When The Chips Are Down - All I've Ever Known Part 8

Help yourself, to hell with the rest

What you gonna do when the chips are down

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Finals season flew by and all of a sudden, the semester was over. There was this holiday benefit thing that I had to attend, so I was dressed to the nines, with red lipstick and pearls like a true lady. Gag me. I straightened the emerald green bodice of my gown, feeling incredibly nervous and out of place. At least the dress was gorgeous, and it did fit me alright. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t in the top 10, my brother was, so there we were with Cate, adjusting each other’s hair and clothes. Then, we entered the golden ballroom for the annual holiday gala. 

We stepped into place on the red carpet, Cate on one side of Luke in a gorgeous red gown color-matched to his tie, and me on the other. Photo after photo - some of the two of them together, some of me and my brother, some of just me, some of all three of us... I felt like my cheeks might fall off. Brink stepped in from the other side to pose with his number one student, and I made my way to a table a little separated from the crowd.

I saw a few familiar faces - Grace Jones and Professor Park chatting surreptitiously over some fancy looking hors d'oeuvres, for two. Jordan and their parents stepped up to take photos next. They looked stunning in a burgundy embroidered suit, and I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks as I realized I was staring. Despite their beauty, I could see the struggle in their eyes - they didn’t want to be here either, especially not with their parents. They get a few photos with Brink before being forcefully guided by their parents to a series of donors and trustees. Ah, what a way to welcome in the holidays. 

Luke finally finished with his photos and came to sit by me while Cate went to speak with Shetty. He passed me a flute of champagne and I nodded in thanks. 

“So, what do you think about all this junk? We haven’t really... talked much since you got #1.” I asked awkwardly, feeling the familiar guilt rising in my gut about the distance between Luke and I. I never doubted my decision not to tell my family about The Incident - they had too much on their minds. But it was just another wedge in the widening gap between me and my remaining family. 

“Oh, ya know. It is what it is. I don’t love that it all has to be so... quantitative. But I know if I do well here, it’ll make my future easier.” I nodded at that, understanding all too well the allure of a stable future. He looked at me for a long while, a look in his eyes that I couldn’t quite read. “I love you, Mags.” He said softly. “I’m glad you’re here.” 

“I love you too, Luke. I’m... still getting used to it here. But the people have been really nice, and I’m learning a lot.” I said hesitantly. Luke’s eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, and I bit back the snappy retorts that came to mind.

“You fit right in here, Mags. And you’re set up for a great future. Try not to worry so much.” My jaw tightened as I recognized our father’s words coming out of his mouth. There was so much I wanted to say. Does it count as a great future if I don’t want it? If I have to live a lie? I could’ve had a real future, the future I wanted, but it was taken from me. Taken when I was taken from that fucking party. Taken when our brother vanished into thin air. And you want me not to worry? I could feel the rage threatening to consume me, and I caught Jordan’s eye across the room once more.

We didn’t even share a smile - just a moment of eye contact - but it carried understanding and empathy in a way that nothing else could. A reminder that I’m not alone. I have an ally. 

“Uh, are mom and dad here?” I asked, hoping to change the subject.

“No, they couldn’t make it. But they wanted you to meet some people.” By that he means that dad wants me to schmooze with some associates of his. I down the rest of my champagne, daring my brother with my eyes to say anything about it. I couldn’t deny the small bit of pleasure I got when I saw his jaw tighten again. Good. I let him lead me to the group of men in suits, drawing my back up straighter and pasting a demure smile on my face. 

“Happy holidays, gentlemen. I’m Margaret, it’s wonderful to meet you all.” I said formally, beginning to make conversation about vacation plans and family functions. I don’t recognize any of their faces but there was still something that felt... familiar. Like a dream that I couldn’t quite remember. The usual games were played - they ask about my father like they care about the answer and I answer like I know anything about my father’s life. They ask about school, and I sell myself like a used car salesman. We were discussing the most recent guest speaker in my ethics class when darkness took over. 

Someone cut the power. A few screams echoed in the ballroom, and a strangely familiar smell of eucalyptus and cigarette smoke invaded my senses. I felt hands on my arms, bodies bumping against mine, and panic wracked my system. I felt strong fingers grasping my wrist and another hand attempting to grab my shoulder, and everything suddenly became too real. In the darkness and panic of the crowd it was hard to tell at first which hands were looking to help and which were not. I found myself wishing I was near anyone I knew. Jordan, Cate, Luke, even Grace would be preferable to the strangers surrounding me, pushing, shoving, grabbing, pulling, tugging. They were pulling me away, pushing through the crowd that was closing in around us. Politeness flew out the window as panic threatened to take over. This was all too familiar. But I had already been to hell once and I wouldn’t be going back. I took a deep breath before pushing out the energy field around my body, causing the two men to be pushed back, stumbling over their feet. I felt them coming closer again and I knew my only option was to run. 

I booked it in the direction that seemed to have the least people, praying these stupid fucking heels would hold out for long enough. At this point I wasn’t sure how much of my fear was projection and how much was because the situation really warranted this level of panic, but it didn’t matter. My legs were moving on their own, taking me as far from the situation as they could. Not home, that’s the first place they’d look. Not any of the crime fighting buildings, that’s too close to the gala. I found myself hiding out in a third floor bathroom of the performing arts library, perched on top of a toilet and trembling. I carefully unstrapped my heels and thanked my lucky stars that I had decided to bring a clutch instead of leaving my phone in my coat, which was still at the gala. I took it out with shaking hands, seeing a flurry of phone calls and texts, most from Jordan. Even Andre had tried to call me, but neither Cate nor Luke had even texted. It shouldn’t have bothered me - they were probably just as swamped and panicked as I was. But shouldn’t my older brother be the first to make sure I’m safe, not the last? I turned my phone off, worried that somehow it would lead someone to me.

A dark thought occurred to me, one that had been occurring to me more and more recently: how involved is Luke in doing our dad’s bidding? Would he stoop so low as to interfere in my life for him? 

It’s usually at this part in my spiral that I wrench my mind away from these questions and focus on the present. But I was alone in this dark toilet stall, heart still racing, and I couldn’t help but entertain the thought. Luke had access to my journals. He knew about my research. He was home for a weekend trip two days before Sam disappeared. He delivered me into the hands of those men who did not seem fazed by the power outage nor eager to ensure my safety. And that smell - so eerily familiar. All together it gave me a sickening sense of deja vu. I hated that I was questioning my own brother, but I had been questioning everything since Sam disappeared.

It sounds cliche, but truly nothing had been the same since. Even before The Incident, nothing was right without him. Luke became even more of a carbon copy of our dad, laser-focused on future success.. Our mom slid further into her shell. Our dad ... well, he didn’t change much. He was always a distant man, a family man only by duty and never out of love. He was our dad, of course he loved us. Of course he wanted what was best for us. It didn’t matter if his actions aligned with that notion, he was our father. But with Sam gone, any semblance of a “real” family disintegrated. I had woken up to the empty platitudes and the way they sugar coated the truth. The people who should have understood what I was feeling looked on in apathy.

After almost half an hour of anxious stewing, I turned my phone back on, and saw another bevy of messages from Jordan. I texted them one word: safe, hoping that would assuage their worries. And then I turned it off again. I knew logically that I would be safe here. But every time I thought about leaving, I swore I could smell him again, or that I could hear laughter echoing in the hallways. I wouldn’t leave until I saw morning light peaking through the window.

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