#i don’t have goldfish so I’d have to get some

[rosicheeks]

Little bit goldfish??

Ahhh idk

[pinkponyclubbb3]

Casual.

summary: Y/N finds out Chris has been sleeping with other girls when she thought they were something more than a casual thing. He ends up finding her next to a waterfall drunk and high out of her mind.

warnings: toxic Chris! smoking,drinking mentioned. nudity but no smut

this is all just fiction don’t take anything serious!

I follow Chris to his room with his phone in my hand. Tears streaming down my face. “L-look at the picture she sent me, Chris!” It was a picture of Chris sleeping naked in another girl's bed with a sheet covering his waist down and his arm resting above his head. He groans and looks at the ceiling fan. “Y/n! Have I ever asked you to be my girlfriend?” My heart is beating so fast. “No but-”

“But nothing! We’re nothing, y/n! We’re just casual!” that one word was like a stab to the heart. I can’t stop my tears from streaming down my face. I look at him in disbelief. “Casual? Was it casual when you took my virginity? Was it casual when I was the first girl you’ve introduced to your parent’s?” My voice breaking with every other word that’s coming out of my mouth. He rolls his eyes and looks at me. “It’s not my fault that you were stupid enough to think this was something more than casual.” I can feel the lump in my throat trying to stop me from crying.

“Fuck you, Chris.” I’ve never cussed before, especially not at a person, but I didn’t know any other words to express my feelings. “You know what your problem is? You’re too fucking needy. It’s pathetic. Seriously.” he scoffs.

Matt comes through the door when he hears us arguing. “Okay if we’re so ‘Casual’.” I grab Matt’s shirt and kiss him. I whisper a quick sorry before I slam Chris’s door. I grab my keys from the table and wave to Nick. “See ya.”

I slam my car door and try to slow down my breathing. I look in the center console and find three joints I stole from Chris. I’ve never had a reason to smoke but i’ve always wanted to try it. I pull out the driveway and start heading towards a gas station. I put my phone on Do Not Disturb as I hear phone calls spamming me.

Before I exit my car, I look in the mirror and try to wipe off the mascara under my eyes. I put on some lip gloss to try to look presentable. I close my car door and head inside. I decide to get my comfort snacks: goldfish, takis, Oreos, and a fruit punch to drink. As I’m passing the drinks, I notice the alcohol.

I grab a drink and put it in my basket with my snacks. I pay at the front and go back to my car. I connect my phone to the car to play Billie Eilish and fill the silence. I’m not sure where I’m going, but I keep going straight. I’m trying not to think about anything until I get somewhere to avoid spiraling.

I remember a waterfall I used to go to and decided to go there. I check the time, and it’s close to midnight, so nobody should be there. I park my car, get my tote bag from the backseat, and pack all the stuff. I open the goldfish and take a handful to my mouth. I fold my blanket so it fits in my bag.

I look in the center console for a lighter and see one that’s wrapped in a picture of me in lingerie. Chris gave it to me so we can match. I stare at it for a second and feel the lump in my throat start to form again. I sigh out loud and throw the lighter in my bag. I grab my phone to use the flash and start hiking. I know this path like the back of my hand.

As I walked, I decided to check the notifications I’d gotten, and it was a mix of Matt and Nick—none from Chris. A part of me knew he wouldn’t try to call, but there was still this little piece of me that had hope. After what feels like hours i’m finally at the top where I have the perfect view of the waterfall.

I sit down under a tree and take in the view. As I hear the water splash as it hits the rocks below me. I wrap myself in my blanket and turn on some music. I turn my phone over so a dim light shines. I continue eating my goldfish and start thinking about the events earlier. ‘you were stupid enough to think this is something more than casual’

When I met his parents, their eyes lit up as if I was the first girl they’d ever seen with him. When I was having a bad day, he would come to my house with my favorite snacks, and we’d watch movies while I’d rest my head on his chest and he told me everything would be okay.

Was that all really just casual and I was delusional?

I look through my bag and find the joints. I put one in my mouth and light it up. I inhale for a few seconds and let it sit before I exhale. I started coughing. Obviously, being new to this, my lungs weren’t used to smoke. I start drinking the fruit punch and eventually recover. I open up all my snacks and lay them out so I can easily grab them. I see the bottle of liquor and just stare.

I’ve never drank before either. I say fuck it and open the bottle. The drink burns my throat as it goes down. “Ew!” I say out loud. I start laughing out loud. As I hit the joint more the snacks are tasting like i’m eating a piece of heaven. The song ‘L'AMOUR DE MA VIE’ starts playing and I take a huge swig of the liquor .

“So you found her! Now go fall in love!” I sing and wave my hand out as those lyrics are sung.

couple hours later

I can barely keep my head up. I’m so tired. I pick up my phone for the first time since I got out the car. My vision is blurry and I can’t read the messages.

Chris<3

Where the fuck are you?

a bunch of missed calls from the triplets. I’m too tired to care. I use my tote as a pillow and throw the blanket over me. I stare at the waterfall and I’ve never felt more calm in my life. It’s as if my mind let me have a break from itself. I put another Oreo in my mouth but i’m too tired to chew so it slips out and lands on the grass. “Just five minutes.” I close my eyes to fall asleep.

————————————————————————-

I feel like I’m flying. My hair is all over the place. I smile and stretch my arms out. I open my eyes, and I’m met with beautiful blue ones. He’s carrying me bridal style. “Hi, handsome.” I slur my words. My head falls back. I look up to see the night sky that’s covered in stars. “You know how dangerous this is?” Chris says with a stern voice. I laugh at him. “If you were a dwarf, you’d be grumpy.” I laugh historically, squinting my eyes.

He gets to his car, and Matt’s in the driver's seat. Chris is in the back, and he lets me lay my head on his lap. “Wait, don’t close the door-” I lean over and throw up. I try to grab all my hair, but strands are stuck to my face. I feel a hand grip my hair to get it out of my way. I wipe my mouth, and Matt hands me a water bottle. “Thanks,” I whisper. “How’d you find me?”

“I have your location.” I scoff. “And he says we’re casual,” I tell Matt. I can’t comprehend what he replied. I don’t feel like talking. I can’t think straight. It might be the drugs in my system or the alcohol. I lay in his lap silently, staring at the back of the passenger seat. I feel him playing with my hair. Tears start trickling my eyes.

I hit his hand to stop doing that. “Don’t touch me.” He scoffs. “What’s your problem?” I sit up and immediately get dizzy. I rub my eyes, smearing whatever’s left of my mascara. “Don’t do all this shit, then just call whatever this is ‘casual,’ Chris. Because I know for a fact if this was the other way around, you’d be just as hurt.”

He’s quiet, jaw clenched. “I’ll prove it to you. Matt, pull over.” I take my shirt off. “Woah woah-” Okay, maybe not the best Idea, I tell myself. “Put your shirt back on. Jesus.” Chris pulls my shirt down. I bite my lip, trying not to laugh, still feeling the effects of the weed.

We pull up to the driveway. “What about my car?” It completely slipped my mind until I felt the keys in my pocket. “I’ll pick it up tomorrow.” Matt opens the door and holds out his hand. “Thanks.” I take his hand, and he helps me down. “You’re gonna have to sleep in Chris’s room.” I wave a hand in Matt’s face. “I’ll take the couch.” I go through the front door and run to the couch, tripping over my foot. “The fuck is wrong with her?” Nick says. “She’s high,drunk, all the above.”

“Hi Nick, want an Oreo?” he sighs and holds out his hand. I take an Oreo out of my bra and give it to him. “Ew!” he throws the cookie on the floor. I start laughing so hard tears are coming out my eyes.

“Alright, come here. You need to change.” I follow Chris to his room. I sit on his bed while he looks through his closet. He throws me one of my black lace bras and a pair of shorts. “What kind of pajamas are these?” He throws sweats and a shirt at my face. “What the?” I laugh. He turns around, and I strip in front of him while holding eye contact. I throw on the sweats and T-shirt. I fall back on the bed and watch him turn on the light.

He takes off his shirt, leaving him in just his pajama pants, and gets into bed. He holds me in his arms and kisses my head. “Casual, my ass,” I mumble into his arm. “Go to sleep,y/n.”

————————————————————————

A/N : thank you for reading this was inspired by the song ‘Casual’ by chappell roan.

If you want to be tagged in future fics lmk in the comments . click my bio to send me a request of a fanfic u want or just anything ♥️

Tag list:

@mylove4lana @mattstromboli @gracielovssturniolo @taliaslutiolo @watercolorskyy @eliana-4200 @naisblogsblog

[st4rgrl4l1f3]

Stupid stuff I think the 141 would do if they all lived together

—————

Underwear. Who’s is who’s. They all have a red, black, blue and gray pair. Soap may have a pair with the Scottish flag on it.

“I FORGOT WHO WEARS AN XL” Soap would scream from downstairs.

“I DO” Ghost would reply.

“…fatass.”

“I heard that.”

—————

Most random shit in the fridge. Why is the fridge nothing but the cheese drawer and beer?…Okay, let’s check the cupboards. There’s fruit snacks and one of those gallon buckets of goldfish. Okay. Another cupboard. Four cups, four bowls, four plates…The silverware looks the same.

“Why don’t we have food in the kitchen? What happened to the groceries I bought??” Gaz is terrified. He was gone for a week.

“Soap ate it all, and Ghost followed. ‘Saw a cat outside, figured I’d feed it. Now it’s comin back with ‘er kids…” Price says, that last part more quiet than his first two sentences.

“…Is this your idea of groceries?” Gaz looks at Soap, Ghost, and Price.

All three of them in unison, “…Yes.”

—————

Sleeping in the most random places. Why is Gaz halfway on the couch, halfway on the floor? Soap is drooling all over the couch, Ghost is passed out beside his bed, and Price still has his gear on, sleeping beside his rifle, hat halfway on.

Waking up with a sore back, Gaz opens his eyes. Yawning and wincing at the ache right in the middle of his back, he gets up, holding his back like an old man, and cracks it.

“Well good Lord in Heaven, lad, ye nearly broke yer own back crackin it like that.”

Gaz turns around, Soap is holding up his head with his hand, Mohawk all outta whack. Gaz gives him a small “g’mornin.” Before fixing himself breakfast (tap water and cheese from the cheese drawer)

Ghost wakes up, crawls in his bed and falls back asleep. He sleeps like a log.

Price wakes up, oh God, his back hurts. Maybe it was because of all the gear he still has on. He strips himself of it and puts on a gray t-shirt and some sweats. (He still has his hat on???)

—————

Coming home drunk. Holy fuck. Uber loaded with grown ass men laughing about the man that was break-dancing on the table so hard that tears were coming out.

“Yaswereslads gonna make me fuckin cry you know wha I sayin I’m fuckin dead lads, oh shite—“ Soap says, all in one string of words. His accent really comes out when he’s drunk.

“‘T was like he was-wheeze-goin in slow motion when he fell-Another wheeze” Ghost cannot hold his laugh back. He wheezes.

Gaz is looking straight forward, nearly drooling.

Price is listening to Soap and Ghost shit themselves laughing as he silently laughs, gasps of air every five seconds. Even the Uber is laughing.

“Have you ever seen a breakdance?” Gaz says, chatting up the Uber who’s trying to keep his composure.

—————

Discussing pets.

“Can we PLEASE get a dog??” Soap is pleading with Gaz.

“Soap. Look at the fridge. All we have is beer and cheese.”

“The cheese drawer is a necessity. So is the beer.”

“No- listen. You get half decent groceries without me helping, we’ll get a puppy.”

“Hey, wait, can we get a snake—“

“Fuck no we’re not getting a snake, Ghost. What, make you feel at home?”

“I’m not Australian, Soap.”

Price and Gaz look at each other, wide eyed at their stupidity. They rub their temples, trying to genuinely find the brain in their words.

—————

Microwaveable things.

“Can I microwave this bowl?”

“No, Ghost.”

“Uhhh, pretty sure you can.”

“Why did you ask, then??”

“Just cuz.”

Price goes back to his dad show.

“JOHN?”

“YEAH?”

“…YOU WERE RIGHT. MY BOWL MELTED.”

“Oh for fucks-“

“Yer brain is fuckin mush, lad, how’d you not know you can’t microwave that?” Soap laughs at Ghosts misery, his soup gone to waste.

—————

[hedwig221b]

Do you have any fic recs that involve chasing? Like Derek gives in to the urge to run after stiles and catch him?

I kind of didn't really understand what you were asking lol so here are a few types of "chase" fics:

Mating Run Fics:

Wants & Needs by MadcapRomantic

Derek Hale has been participating in the Beacon Hills Mating Run for a decade, each year coming up without a mate. His mother, convinced this is his lucky year, persuades him to run one last time.

Enter Stiles, a young Omega with an unwanted Alpha nipping at his heels.

Family or not, Peter is determined to have Stiles. But convinced they are True Mates, there isn't anything Derek won't do to keep Stiles safe.

The Cursed Wolf by SinQueen69

2023 Suggestion Anon Wanted: Feral alpha Derek, who has been cursed and got in that feral state. The only way to lift the curse is the "sacrifice" of a pure heart. And Virgin Omega Stiles is willing to help him but the ritual has to be a mating run.

When Things Go Right by SylvieW

Stiles is nervous for the mating run. What if his soulmate is disappointed? Scott’s convinced that Allison will catch him, but Stiles isn’t so sure of his best friend’s girl, and the results could be upsetting for everyone.

Angel Choirs and Magic by LadyDrace

Derek has been very, very patient, and has shown frankly incredible self-control in the face of brutal teasing and flirting for two months. But now it's time for the mating run, and he's about to get his reward.

Except for how maybe it's actually Stiles getting a treat. Win/win.

Stiles gets kidnapped and Derek gives a chase:

Out of Focus by exclamation

Stiles was taken prisoner by a coven of witches. Now his only chance of getting home is if he learns how to control his own magic… and stops blowing stuff up by accident. With surging power inside him that he can't restrain, Stiles must deal with memories of the nogitsune, and fears that he might end up hurting those he cares about.

Meanwhile, his family and friends don't even know if he's alive. His father desperately searches for answers, and Derek will do anything in his power to find Stiles, even if it means asking an Argent for help.

of gods & monsters by Dexterous_Sinistrous

“I’m not the best at conversation. I’ve been told I have no finesse for it.”

Stiles took a step closer to Derek, pushing the billowing silk out of the way. “And what would you say if you looked at me now?”

Derek looked up, startled for a moment when he realized he was now looking at Stiles’ unveiled face. He was silent for a beat, taking in Stiles’ features for the first time, convinced he would never see such beauty unveiled for him alone.

Stiles runs away and Derek catches his ass:

between the click of the light and the start of the dream by thepsychicclam

A twig snaps, and then Stiles hears breathing and the rustle of leaves. He strains to get a better glimpse into the darkness, but it’s pointless. There’s nothing but a black void.

It's Stiles' senior year, and he's trying to concentrate on normal things - like the lacrosse championship, spring break, prom, graduation (and definitely not Derek) - when he starts having nightmares and waking up in the middle of nowhere. Oh yeah, and he's being haunted by a hag. Great.

My Wolf by Dexterous_Sinistrous

“If he wants to mate Stiles, why not let him?” Jackson asked, ready to part with Stiles if need be.

“Because if I did that, I’d be demoting Lydia,” Alpha Stilinski replied.

“We don’t even know how good of a Beta he is,” Lydia countered, bristling some that her status was being challenged.

“That’s because he’s not a Beta,” Alpha Stilinski stated. “He’s an Alpha.”

If you wanted fics with their own chasing scenes, I am sorry to inform you that I have a memory of a goldfish, and do not remember any in particular, though I am sure they exist somewhere in the wild. If someone knows some, please, feel free to add!

Other fic recs: pack mom!Stiles | angsty fics | historical AU | baby/mpreg | outsider POV | possessive Derek | smut | mafia

[kenacoki]

Organized Prompt List

Funny

"Oh my god, i feel like shit." "Gee, I wonder why?

"I have the attention span of a goldfish on speed, and I'm okay with that."

"So, I have a surprise for you..." "Why'd that box just move?"

"If you're feeling down, I highly recommend binge-watching old episodes of 'Friends' and pretending everything's fine."

"It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits." "What the fu-"

"I don't know which is worse: the taste of this coffee or your sense of humor."

"Please tell me you have a spare key..." "...That was the spare key."

"It's three in the morning." "Yeah, and...?"

"Well, that was a terrible idea..." "It was your idea!"

"We've nearly died enough today so please get down before you bust your head open."

"You were so high you had a staring contest with a photograph of my dead grandma."

"I can hear you sighing in disappointment ya' know...you're not exactly subtle."

"If you die, just know I'm bringing you back just so I can put you back in the ground myself!"

“Uhhh…how many of those have you ate?” “I don’t know, like five?”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard all day.” “It’s 9:05 am.”

“I’ve been thinking…” “Well don’t hurt yourself.”

“I need some advice.” “You came to me for advice?”

“Did you go to the doctor?” “No, I slept for nine hours.”

“I think I need therapy.” “I think you need a reality check.”

“Do you remember that time we—” “Don’t…finish that thought.”

Fluff

"Did-Did you just kiss me on the forehead?" "I'm so so sorry, I've been babysitting all week, when I heard you say 'ow', i just acted without thinking."

"Please stop looking at me like that." "Like what?" "All...ya know, soft n' stuff...it’s freaking me out."

“You know, I can tell when you’re mad cause your cheeks turn this cute shade of red.”

“Have I ever told you how cute you are when you pout?”

“Will you just…just hold me?”

“Just pretend to be my date!” “Excuse me?”

“You know how proud you make me, right?”

“Can I…can I hold your hand?”

“Tell me, have you ever seen something more beautiful than this?” “Yeah, you.”

“Hey, I’m always gonna be here for you.”

“Oh my god…you’re jealous!” “I am not!”

“Are you blushing?”

“I love you.” “I know.”

“Would you stay with me…please?”

“I really, really want to kiss you.” “Then do it.”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“I mean, yeah I’d make out with them but like—platonically, you know?” “…You-you can’t make out with someone platonically.” “Sure you can! We’ve done it like…I don’t how many times now.”

“Mmm…you’re so warm.”

“So, uh…how’d your date go?”

“Have you ever thought about…us. Y’know, as an item?”

Angst/Hurt

“You told me that I didn’t have to worry about them.”

“Will you just listen to me for a second?” “What do you think you could say that could possibly make this better?!”

“How am I supposed to trust you after that?!”

“Just-just tell me how I can fix this.” “You can’t.”

“Did…did I mean anything to you?”

“I’m sorry—” “Don’t-don’t apologize if you’re just going to keep doing this shit. Apologize when you’re actually going to change.”

“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”

“You’re here.” “I’m here…just like I promised.”

“You didn’t call. You didn’t text. Nothing.”

“I…I never got the chance to tell you that I love you.” “Maybe that was for the best.”

“Every time I wake up, the first thing I do is look for you…but you’re never there.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” “It’s not your job to worry about me.”

“There’s a part of me that still loves you…and I absolutely hate myself for it.”

“You’re in denial—” “I am not in denial!”

“You can’t just keep ignoring your feeling like this.”

“So what, that’s it?” “Yeah…yeah I guess it is.”

“No! You can’t give up like this!”

“It’s…you’re too late.”

“Maybe we should just…stop.”

“I need you to wake up now…cause I can’t do this without you.”

Smut

“You’ve got quite the mouth on you, ya know? Someone should teach you what to do with it.”

“You don’t have to do that.” “I want to.”

“C’mon, let’s get you into the bathtub.”

“Who do you want?” “You.”

“Why are you in my bed—wait! Are you naked?!”

“Can I at least take my shoes off before you jump me?” “…I guess.”

“I’ll kiss you if that’s what it takes to shut you up.”

“I swear to god, if I’m late because you can’t keep it in your pants.” “I can’t help it when you look so good.”

“Look at how needy you are, even after everything we’ve done.”

“We…we shouldn’t do this. It’s a bad idea…right?” “Yeah…yeah, definitely a bad idea.”

“I’m about two seconds away from bending you over this counter, don’t push your luck.”

“Bite me.” “I mean, if you’re offering.”

“I told you that I’d take care of you, did you think that I wouldn’t follow through on that?”

“Oh, fuck me.” “That’s the plan!”

“So good for me, just look at how much you came.”

“Oh my god!” “You’d better be quiet if you don’t want everyone to know how much of a slut you are.”

“It’s not my fault you keep turning me on!”

“Are you serious?” “Does it look like I’m joking?”

“This stays between us.”

“There’s people here!” “I know.”

//Dividers// sister-lucifer

[luvv4j4ybe11]

With time

✧𝐓𝐰𝐢n 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐥𝐨’𝐚𝐤

✧Tw!!: mentions of death,sibling loss, lo’ak dies instead of neteyam, lots of crying, first time celebrating birthday without your twin brother, mentions of su!c!de, underaged dr!nking, mentions of alcohol,mostly angst with some fluff towards the end (if you squint),feelings of grief and depression and I think that’s all, enjoy this lil Drabble<33

✧Dividers by @benkeibear

✧ translation(s): Skxawng-moron,idiot , kuru-queue, hammerbrow fish- the goldfish that kiri was playing with in that one scene (idk how else to describe it😭)

(Listen to this to make it extra sad🥰)

You woke up feeling the weight on your chest being even heavier than usual. Your face still wet with tears from last nights realization. That realization being that today was your birthday but not just yours, it was his too. Ever since the night he died, you haven’t left your side of the marui since.

Even though it’s been four months since your twin brother died, that day just keeps replaying in your head, the sound of your mother screaming, the look of absolute devastation on your older brothers face, the blood on your hands, the sound of tsireya crying, lo’aks cold expression, the way your father looked at you with complete disappointment and spat out a cold, “you’ve done enough”

Every time you thought about it you felt sick.

And naturally, being Navi twins you guys were connected more than normal siblings were, you felt each other’s heartbeats, felt when the other was happy or sad, uncomfortable or frustrated. So when you felt cold and utterly alone, you knew he was gone.

But yet there’s still times you hear his heartbeat, you feel how lonely he is and how much sorrow he’s filed with. And it makes you weak with sadness every time.

Being pulled out of your thoughts by a small pair of hands on your bicep shaking you back and forth, you turn around to see your baby sister staring back at you with a smile on her face, her eyes still washed with sadness. Yes, she was young, but she certainly wasn’t stupid. She knew how to read the room better than kids your age did.

“Sis, come on, get up! It’s your birthday!” She says while climbing onto you to give you a hug, which was something she did every year, but this one was more gentle and genuine than the others. You break the hug to place a hand on her head, lightly ruffling her braids,“Maybe later tuktuk, I’m still a little tired.” You say,weakly trying to hide the pain in your features with a fake smile.

She frowns at this, making you let out a soft chuckle as you go to push her off of you. Making her cling onto you more. “That’s what you always say!, please sis, can you get up? For me? For lo’ak?” She says while looking at you with puppy dog eyes. The slight mention of his name brings tears to your eyes, not ready to start this day without him.

“Sister, leave her be, alright? How about you go see what kiri is up to?” Neteyam says as he lifts the curtain to get into your side of the hut, holding it open for tuk to run out eagerly to find her sister.

Closing it, he glances at you before siting on your sleeping mat, “Sister, I’m-” “Teyam don’t. I can’t go through today with this fake sympathetic bullshit!, you guys were constantly on both of our asses for everything! You guys never cared about how we felt! How he felt! You know how many times he came to me telling me how dad made him feel like shit? Or how kiri was pushing him about certain things? Or how he caught dad talking to you about how he’s, “too reckless” and he “wouldn’t be surprised if he got himself killed”?”

His ears pin back to his skull immediately, knowing the exact conversation you were referring to. “Sister, you think that didn’t bother me too? I told him that lo’ak only acted like that because he wanted to be like him. But of course he didn’t listen. And do you think I wasn’t aware of how you guys felt? Why do you think I’d always have both of your guys backs whenever you got into trouble? Why do you think I came up with lies left and right to mom and dad so you two wouldn’t get your asses beat? I wanted to avoid making you guys feel like that, but I only have so much control y/n..” he says as he squeezes his his fists in anger, his feelings from that night bubbling to the surface again.

You move from your comfortable position to sit next to him, bringing him into a much needed hug. “Brother, I know you did. I know you try every single day. And I look up to you because of that. You’re stronger than I am. You keep pushing forward even though there’s so much shit happening to you, I don’t understand how you do it.” You say as you feel tears flowing from your face, the hug reminding you of how lo’ak used to hug you whenever you were in a mood.

“I do it because of you guys. Because of him. You guys are the reason I keep pushing. And especially the both of your skxawng asses” he says with a soft chuckle before breaking the hug, placing his hand on your head softly, something he did with you and lo’ak that became a comfort thing for the both of you. “You can do this today sister, I believe in you, we all do.” His tone making tears automatically spill over your eyes, and causing you to notice his tear filled eyes.

Looking for some sort of grounding you place your hand over his and squeeze, taking multiple deep breaths before speaking. “Teyam.. I can’t, I miss him so much. Everytime I wake up I feel so alone and cold, but I can still hear his breath, and his heartbeat. My pain is not only mine, but his too.” You say in between sobs, watching neteyams breathing get more shallow as he tries to hold in his tears. His features covered in concern.

“Oh baby sis..” bringing you into another much needed hug. He places a light kiss on your forehead before rubbing your back and gently swaying you from side to side,trying to calm down your cries.

Kiri walks in quietly, the feeling of your pain drawing her to your room. Her whole body goes slack and cold when she sees your state, making her glance at Neteyam. That feeling intensifying even more once she saw the pain in his eyes. She takes her place behind you, quickly inserting herself into the hug. Wrapping her right arm around your waist and the other overlapping with neteyams so she can hold him too,her chin resting on your shoulder.

“You feel him don’t you? His heartbeat? His sorrow? His breath? Like he’s just a word about to be spoken?” Without lifting your head you nod quickly, too mentally exhausted speak anymore. “I know how you feel sister. Take that feeling as a way of him telling you to keep going. Keep breathing for him, keep your heart beating for him. That sorrow will be gone once he sees that you’re living for him.”

Her words make you sob even more. Knowing she’s right, he’s always hated seeing you cry, and he did anything to fix it. Purposely making himself look like a dumbass, making you go on an ikran ride with him, asking you to go exploring with him, taking you to you guys secret spot, pinky promises. He did anything for you. And so did you.

A wave of calm suddenly hits you, making your sobs come to a complete stop, and your breathing becomes more level. Feeling the change, your siblings give each other a confused glance before looking down at you. “Sister?..” they both say in sync as you break the hug and get up, your features going completely cold. “I’m going to visit him..if that’s ok with you guys” you say while lifting up a blanket, revealing a stash of alcohol you’ve been keeping ever since his funeral.

Quickly you take a bottle and cover it back up, grabbing your hunting knife and putting on both you and lo’aks matching bracelets you made on your 10th birthday. Walking towards the curtain to leave, you’re pulled back by a gentle pull on your shoulder.

“Y/n..don’t don’t drink today. It’s not gonna stop you from hurting, and you know that.” Kiri says while gliding her hand down to your hand that was holding the alcohol firmly. “Yeah, I know that kiri, but it dulls it somewhat. And it stops me from wanting to throw myself off of a cliff so I think it’s worth it. Plus it’s my birthday! I’m allowed to drink as much as I want today!!” You say in a fake enthusiastic tone, your sarcasm reminding them so much of lo’ak.

“Y/n.” Neteyam says in a soft but stern tone, the one that told you that whatever he was about to say was gonna be serious. “Don’t drink. I know you’ve been hurting more than we have but we need you here. Lo’ak needs you here. You know how much he hates seeing you hurt.” He says as his voice starts to crack slightly, remembering all the things the three of them would come up with whenever you were anything but happy and content.

Feeling the tears well in your eyes again, you squeeze the bottle tighter, fighting the instinct to drown your feelings in the burning liquid.

Glancing over at them, your heart breaks seeing the genuine hurt on their faces because of the realization you’ve been drinking this whole time and they didn’t know. Sighing angrily,you shove the bottle into neteyams chest. “Fine, but when I get back just save me a bottle, because I know it’ll be gone by the time I come back.” You say while turning out of your room swiftly, leaving kiri and neteyam there speechless.

Once you get to the spirt tree, you thank payakan and tell him that you’ll see him soon. Ever since lo’aks passing you’ve only really left your marui to go see payakan, knowing he carries the same weight as you do.

While swimming towards the tree, you mentally prepare yourself for this painful experience. You’ve been avoiding coming to the tree in the first place, because you knew how much it take out of you. And he knew the same.

Connecting your kuru to the tree, you’re brought to you and lo’aks secret spot back at your actual home. The only place that brought you two comfort. Tentatively, you walk through the clearing, lo’ak still not in sight.

“Lo?, where are you?” You call out, the sound of your own voice making you realize you weren’t 15, but you were younger. Walking towards a curtain of flora that led to a small river, you catch a glimpse of your brother, making you walk quicker.

Once you get there you see lo’ak sitting at the edge of river with his feet languidly swaying in the water, just staring into the water. Almost like he was waiting for something, or someone. You don’t say anything at first, just taking in the sight of him after not seeing him for months.

“Brother..” you say softly, not wanting to disturb his peace. His head whips in the direction of your voice, his expression lighting up as he gets up and walks towards you. “Sister!!, I thought you’d never show!” He says as he takes you into a hug, the sound of his voice making you giggle since he was also his younger self.

“Of course I did, it just took me a little time. You know I’d always come to see your skxawng ass” you say as you break the hug to shove his face with your pointer and middle finger. He giggles at that, his smile making the weight on your chest get lighter.

Grabbing your hand, he guides you to where he was sitting. Taking your seat beside him, you gaze out into the water with him.Nervously playing with your extra finger, you take a breath before talking about what you were avoiding for so long.

“Brother I’m-” you exhale slowly before continuing, noticing out of the corner of your eye how all lo’aks attention was turned to you. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t be here. It should’ve been me that got shot that night. I was the one that put the idea into your head to go save spider. I should’ve just told you and teyam to go so I could’ve got spider by myself-” “Sister,” he cuts you off, your rambling making the pain in his heart worse. “It’s not your fault. You need to stop hurting yourself like this. It’s not fair to you. You need to focus on now. Not ‘what if’. And plus, It’s not like I would’ve listened to you if you told me to go anyway, there’s no way in hell I’d let that happen.”

Both of you giggle at the last part, knowing that he’s not lying. Once your laughs die down, you look down at your hands, that feeling of guilt still lingering in your chest. Glancing over at you, he notices how you’re playing with your pinkies, a telltale sign that told him something was bothering you.“Sister, what else is it?” He says as he leans back onto his hands, noticing how your shoulders slightly go stiff from his question.

Turning your body to face him, you don’t fail to notice the genuine look of concern in his eyes. “You know what day it is today?” You ask, making his expression completely drop. “Yeah, I know.” The words feeling like a weight on his tongue. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do today without you lo’. I can’t. It hurts too much.” You say as the tears finally spill over your face, the grief crawling back up your throat once again. “No, y/n, you can and you will. For me. Just because I’m here doesn’t mean you can’t live out there. Live for me, y/n. Stop letting yourself be consumed by grief and guilt. I hate seeing you like this and you know that.” He says sternly, making sure you know he’s being serious.

All you do is nod your head, not trusting your voice with the lump in your throat and the never ending tears that keep falling from your eyes. The sight of your hurting form makes lo’aks heart twist in pain. And the fact he couldn’t really do much hurt even more. “Come here, sis,” Placing his hand on your shoulder he pulls you towards him. Giving you a much needed hug, immediately making you sob into the crook of his neck.

“I miss you, twin” he says while resting his chin on your shoulder, letting the tears fall freely from his eyes. You let out a broken, “i miss you more” as the void in your chest grows the longer you two hug.

Once you finally calm down,you break the hug, now seeing each other how you guys remember. “Well shit..” you both say in sync, making you both laugh. “You look so grown. I don’t like it.” Lo’ak says as he admires you a little longer, a feeling of peace swirling in his chest. “Yeah,me neither” you say in a soft tone, once again feeling guilty for moving on without him with you.

Placing left hand on your head, and his right on your shoulder he looks at you with a soft smile on his face, “Y/n,you’ll be ok. I’ll always be watching you, and I’ll always protect you.” The tone of his voice making you inhale sharply so the next wave of tears doesn’t come. He raises his pinky finger towards you, waiting for you to do the same. You let out a soft chuckle at his childish behavior before obliging.

Once both of you pinkies are holding onto one another, he grips your shoulder tighter. “Promise me, that you won’t give up on yourself, that you won’t push everyone away, that you won’t drink your feelings away. Promise me that you can get over this feeling. That you will live through this feeling.”

You squeeze his pinky even tightly as you feel the tears well up in your eyes, realizing that time will make no difference to how much you miss him. But it will for how much you will grow through this feeling.

Tugging his pinky towards yours, you nod your head ‘yes’ before saying, “I promise. I promise I’ll do my best for you. I promise that I’ll try for you.” The words making a smile appear on his face. He brings you into a loving hug, the warmth of comfort washing over both of you guys.

“Happy birthday,twin” you guys say in sync again, a soft giggle coming from both of you. Breaking the hug, he grabs your hands and squeezes them tightly “ow! That hurts!” “I don’t care! I want you to have fun for me today alright? Celebrate us! Spend time with everyone that loves you and gives a shit about you. You deserve it!” he says through his laughs, making you smile softly at his childish demeanor.

“Alright I will!! I’ll come visit you again tonight and I’ll tell you all about today!” You say in a giddy tone, noticing that this has been the first time you’ve been somewhat happy since these last 4 months.

“You better” he says while rolling his eyes dramatically, knowing he did it to make you laugh. Once your laughter dies down, you both look back at the water. Not wanting this moment to end already. “I love you,bro” you say while bumping your shoulder against his, making him laugh and do the same to you. “I love you more,sis” he says with a soft smile on his face, one that replaced the one on yours.

You two stay like this for a while, just basking in each others presence and invading each others space. Thoughts of leaving suddenly crowd your head and the second those thoughts occur, your brother says something about it.“Y/n go spend the day with them. You know how they get on our birthday, plus they’ll make you feel better.” He says in a delicate tone, a soft smile on his face from remembering how much they loved celebrating your birthdays. You sigh softly, before reluctantly standing up.

He gets up with you, bringing you into an affectionate hug. Without breaking it, he whispers “I’ll miss you,sister.” With complete sadness laced in his tone. A tear falls from your face from the sound of his voice,“I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know, brother.” You two stay like this for a while, until it starts getting harder to breathe, a harsh reminder of the truth.

Breaking the hug, you give him a look that lets him know that, making him hesitantly let go of you. “I’ll see you later tonight brother, I promise. I love you!” You say while turning around to leave, hearing him let out a little ‘I love you, too’ before you leave.

Once you reach the surface you catch your breath, calling out to your ilu and mentally going over your interaction with your brother to avoid acknowledging that void in your chest.

It’s a peaceful ride back home, until you start getting in your head about ‘having fun’ today without lo’ak. Because it wasn’t just your birthday, but his too. And celebrating without him just doesn’t feel right, even tuk knows that.

But right when you start having those doubts, a group of hammerbrow fish swarm around you and your ilu, stopping you in your tracks. One of them swims up to your face and flicks your forehead, making you furrow your brows and shove it away. They swim around you and you ilu for awhile longer before leaving, one of them staying back a little longer to look at you.

The whole interaction left you with a smile on your face, knowing that it was definitely lo’ak telling you to calm down, and to stop worrying about unnecessary things. Making hope swirl in your chest.

With time, you know you’ll be okay.

A/N~ this took SO LONG to write oh my fucking god. But we made it!! And I hope you guys enjoyed this (and this is my first angst fic so pls cut me some slack if some phrasing gets repetitive😔) because I did, didn’t enjoy the tears I cried while writing this but it was worth it🩷 if you made it to the end and you’re reading this I wanna thank you so much for reading this whole long ass fic, must really love me huh😏?? LMFAOO but anyway! Otw to write for kinkmas now🏃🏽‍♀️💨

Duces🫶🏽,

Luvv4j4ybe11

[wobblyficwriter]

It's Okay, Little Doll

My second fic, and the first time I've tried writing about agere. I hope it's okay! Constructive critism welcome! Sorry I don't know how to do the cut thing.

Bucky Barnes x Little reader.

You're desperate to regress, but your house mate is home and you try not to. He has other ideas.

Can't think of any trigger warnings. I guess *slightly* forced regression, but in a caring concerned way?

You walked into your apartment with a tired sigh. Work had been awful, your creepy co worker had spent the day hitting on you no matter how many times you had told him you had a boyfriend. You didn’t have a boyfriend, but he had no way to verify that. He did know you lived with Bucky though, so you just let him assume that you were a couple.

You dumped your work bag and the stack of files you’d been carrying onto the table and kicked off your shoes. You just needed to get changed into something comfy, find some snacks and chocolate milk, then you could go to your room and regress. Bucky was on a mission and wouldn’t be home for a few days so you knew that he wouldn’t catch you in your little state.

You were just about to go into the kitchen to get your snacks and chocolate milk when you heard him.

“Hey, doll, you okay?” A soft voice said from behind you, making you jump and drop the packet of goldfish crackers you’d been about to pour into a bowl.

“Bucky!” You spun around, wide eyed and desperately started trying to fight off the regression that had been starting to take over your mind.

He chuckled and held his hands up showing you he meant no harm. “Jeez doll, it’s just me!” He didn’t raise his voice, continuing to speak softly, though amusement was evident on his face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you heard me coming.”

You shook your head and smiled. Internally you were screaming. “No, no no! I can’t regress in front of Bucky!”  “I’m fine, sorry I must have been in my own world. You’re back early?” You questioned. Maybe he was just back to get something? You needed to regress and it was hard to fight it. Just had to get a snack and retreat to your room.

“Yeah” He nodded. “Turns out they don’t need a full team, Nat and Steve have gone alone” 

You were fighting the need to slip with every ounce of will you had. “Oh.. what are you gonna do now?” You didn’t hear the slightly higher pitch of your voice, or the way you were fiddling anxiously with your sleeves. However it didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky and he tilted his head, concern flashing in his eyes.

“Doll, you okay?” He stepped forward, placing a hand on your shoulder, his eyes widening in surprise when you stepped back fearfully. He removed his hand, the concern now more prominent on his face. “Doll? You know I’d never hurt you, right?”

You nod and wring your hands anxiously. You could feel yourself slipping and were desperately trying to stop it.  “‘M fine” you said, and you wince inwardly, you heard your voice that time and realised you were slipping faster than you thought. You grab the bag of goldfish, deciding to forget about the rest of your snacks and chocolate milk for now, intending to rush to your bedroom and hide in there for the rest of the night. Bucky stops you with another hand on your shoulder as you try to push past him.

“Hey, hey, where’s the fire? What’s wrong?” He was concerned, he’d never seen you act like this, and you had certainly never acted scared of him before. He waited for you to answer him, frowning when you stiffened under his hand. He let go again and let you go with a sigh. He wasn’t going to force you to stay and talk to him when you very clearly didn’t want to. He figured he’d give you a little while to calm down and check on you later. He made his way back to his room and lay on his bed with the book he’d been reading. He would have stayed there if he hadn’t heard you muttering anxiously in your own room. His super soldier senses made it easy for him to hear,  though he usually did his best to block it out. He couldn’t this time though, not when he could hear that you were so worked up about something.

“No no, not in front of Bucky, come on y/n. You can fight this!” You were pacing in your room, desperately trying not to slip. You knew that now Bucky was concerned about you, he wouldn’t leave you alone the whole night. You knew he would come and check on you and you couldn’t afford to be in your littlespace when he did. He couldn’t see you like that, no one could. If you’d known he was going to be home, you would have been more prepared to stop it, having the whole day to work through it. Unfortunately, you hadn’t known he would be home and had been planning for it all day, so now you were home it was getting harder and harder to fight off. 

You’d already put all your little items in the wardrobe so you couldn’t see them, including the plush toy that usually lived on your bed. You were hoping that not being able to see the things that you usually used in your little time would make it easier for you to stop the slip.

You gasped when he knocked on your door, calling out to see if you were okay.

“J-just a minute!” You hastily looked around your room, checking for anything that might give it away before sighing and telling him to come in.

He opened the door and walked in, taking a breath when he saw you. He could see your whole body was tense and you looked on the verge of a panic attack. “Hey, hey what’s wrong?” He moved toward you, careful not to touch you this time. He knew you didn’t like to be touched. You tolerated the occasional short hug from him, but that was all. The hands on your shoulders earlier were normally okay too, but you’d made it clear to him that they weren’t at the moment, so he just kept his hands where you could see them and crouched in front of you to be less intimidating.

“J-just a bad day” you whispered and gasped when you heard your voice. You were still slipping and you couldn’t stop it! This was bad. You quickly looked to the side, trying to look anywhere but at Bucky. This time, Bucky gasped quietly as it clicked in his head. You were regressing! Well, you were trying NOT to regress, but he recognised the signs. He’d never been in the lifestyle himself, but he knew that Steve had had a little at one point and he’d seen them interact a couple of times. Nodded to himself, unseen by you and decided to just treat you like he would a scared child.

“Shh, shh it’s okay, little one.”

He saw you freeze and your breath catch in your throat. “N-not little!” he heard you say frantically, your voice still in that higher pitch but not quite childlike yet. He could see that you desperately needed to regress, and that you were trying not to so he decided to just carry on, hoping to make you feel safe and go into your littlespace. He edged closer to you, still not touching you yet, keeping his movements slow so you could see everything he was doing.

“Oh I know you’re not, not just yet, but you want to be so badly, don’t you little doll?”

You froze again, slowly turning to look at Bucky. “N-no! D-dunno what you’re talking about!” you had to fight the urge to stomp your foot. This was bad, Bucky was going to see! You couldn’t let that happen!

Bucky just smiled at you, slowly reaching out and curling his fingers around your wrist, gently tugging you toward him. “It’s okay little doll, I’m here. You’re safe with me.” his voice was soft, doing his best to sound calming as he pulled you into him, gently wrapping his arms around you. He felt you stiffen but didn’t let you go this time, he simply gently ran his metal hand up and down your back in soothing circles while gently pressing your head into his chest with the other. You stayed stiff, starting to tremble and he worried that he’d pushed you too far. He keeps going though, murmuring softly to you, taking the fact that while you were anxious, you weren’t pulling away as a sign that it was okay to continue. He stops rubbing your back, using that hand to scoop you up into his arms and moving to the bed with you, he sits on it, leaning back against the headboard and pulls you fully onto him, still making soothing noises and starts rubbing your back again.

“That’s it little doll, you just relax here in my arms. Let Bucky take care of you. Just let it happen… everything’s okay”

You keep fighting desperately but you feel yourself losing the fight. You knew for certain that you were going to lose it when you felt yourself relaxing into his touch despite yourself. “There you go… good girl..” when he called you a good girl you could no longer fight it, and just let it take over. You cuddled into him, your thumb sucked into your mouth and closed your eyes. You heard Bucky chuckle quietly.

“There you go little doll, that’s much better isn’t it?” You blinked up at him and saw him smiling softly down at you. You nodded at him shyly, still worried about being little in front of him, but now you’d slipped, you were much more open to accepting the comfort and safety that his presence offered.

“Nothing to worry about little doll, you just relax here in Bucky’s arms. I’ll take care of you.” He started stroking your hair softly and rocking from side to side slowly, smiling gently at you as your eyes started falling closed.

“Shh, that’s it, little one.. Just let yourself drift away. You don’t need to worry about a thing.”

You sighed contentedly and let yourself drift off to sleep. Maybe being little in front of Bucky wasn’t so bad after all.

[corroded-hellfire]

You Belong With Me - Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: modern!au. Eddie is dating Chrissy, but she’s making him miserable. What would it take for him to notice that he’d be better off with you? Based on the Taylor Swift song.

Note: Oh, so many thoughts about this one. I’ve never been a big fan of song fics, but this song just screamed this dynamic at me and wouldn’t let me rest until I wrote it. And it physically hurt me to write Chrissy as the “bad guy” because I just adore her and Grace so much. But for the fic, it had to be done. Lastly, I literally stayed up all night to write this so I apologize if my sleeplessness caused any more errors than usual.

Warnings: modern!au, language, sex jokes, mention of gun, I think that’s it?

Words: 8.7k

“But that’s not what I meant. No, no, I- Babe, it was a joke. It wasn’t about you! You know I don’t like basketball game- Yes, I’m coming. Of course. I’m sorry, okay? Like I said, it was a joke- Okay. Yeah, okay. I’ll see you there. Okay. Bye.”

Eddie tosses his phone down on your bed and rubs his hands over his face. You sit up near your pillows, wincing through the whole phone call. Eddie getting frustrated like this was becoming far too common for your liking.

“You okay, Eds?” He isn’t, but you’re not sure if he’ll want to talk about it or not.

“Fine,” he says. He has to know you don’t believe him, but he also knows you won’t push him. He climbs on your bed, leaning against your footboard.

“I made a stupid joke,” he says. “I said something about watching a basketball game being like watching a goldfish swim around in its bowl. You’re just looking back and forth at the same thing the whole time!”

It’s not the appropriate time, but you can’t help but laugh. “It’s true, though.”

“Thank you!” he says. “It was a dumb joke but somehow Chrissy took that as me saying I hated going to see her cheer. Is it my favorite thing to do? No. But I do it because she’s my girlfriend.”

You nod your head at him, not sure what you could say. There are a million things you want to say. Break up with her. She’s not good enough for you. I’ve been in love with you for years, you doofus. But none of that would help him. It’d only stress him out even more, which was the last thing you wanted to do.

“I swear, the only saving grace at those God-awful games is that you’re there with me. If I didn’t have you to make snide comments with, I don’t think I’d be able to stomach it,” he says.

It should make you feel better, you think. But in reality, it just makes you want to smack him on the back of the head and say, “then what does that tell you, dumbass? Spending time with me is better!”

“We’re going to the game tonight, I’m assuming,” you say. It’s a Tuesday so there wasn’t a Hellfire meeting, which was the only acceptable reason, according to Chrissy, that Eddie could miss a game. Even those, she wasn’t thrilled he skipped games for.

“Don’t have much of a choice,” Eddie mumbles, picking at his rings. He looks up and meets your eyes. “I mean, you do, though. You don’t have to come with me.”

And make him do this alone? You couldn’t. Even if you had to sit there and pretend not to see Eddie watching Chrissy, or just pretend to not see Chrissy in general. It was never a choice for you if there was an opportunity to spend it with Eddie. You’d stand blindly by his side, supporting him however you could.

“You can’t get rid of me that easy,” you tell him.

He smiles and tosses one of your stuffed bears at you. “Like I’d ever want to get rid of you.”

Looking into his eyes suddenly makes you feel like you could cry, so you jump off your bed and head over to your Bluetooth speaker.

“What do you say? Some Ozzy?” you ask.

Eddie groans and drops his head forward. “God, I wish I could stay and listen. I’ve got two deals before the game tonight, though. I’ve gotta head out.”

You pout and press play on the machine anyway. Ozzy Osborne was not what was queued up next, however. The acoustics of a Taylor Swift song start to play into the space of your bedroom.

Eddie groans again, louder this time. You stop the music and start to skip through the shuffled playlist.

“I am so tired of pop songs. It seems like that’s all that’s playing in my car lately and it’s driving me up the wall. I can listen to it sometimes, but God forbid we listen to any of my music as I’m driving around with her.”

Your pout grows as you keep your back to Eddie. You never know what to say to him when he complains about Chrissy. He wanted to date her so badly that you didn’t think anything could hurt you worse. But seeing the way she treats him? That beat all.

“I thought you didn’t even like Taylor Swift,” Eddie says. It just shows how much Chrissy must be making him listen to pop if he recognized the song by the opening chords.

“I like some of her songs,” you say, turning to face him. “Sometimes it feels like she took a page out of my diary and wrote a song about it. I love Metallica and Black Sabbath dearly, but that is something they just don’t do.”

Eddie stands up off your bed and grabs his leather jacket. He smirks at you as he slips it on. “So, what you’re saying is, Taylor Swift understands you?”

You roll your eyes at him and plop back down on your bed. “Yes, Eddie. That’s exactly what I’m saying. The pretty, millionaire singer, that’s dated all of the hottest guys in Hollywood totally gets me.”

“You sing,” Eddie says with a shrug. “In fact, I wish you did it more. How many times have I begged you to come sing with the band again?”

“It was once, I was drunk, and I’m still grateful that I don’t remember all of it,” you say.

“You were good. I’m not just saying that as your best friend, I’m saying it as a musician. You never sing around me. Why are you embarrassed to?”

The teddy bear in your lap is easier to look at than Eddie. “M’not embarrassed.”

“Oh yeah? Then why not in front of me at least? You’ve seen me puking my guts out and have taken care of me after a hangover, but you’re too shy to sing in front of me?”

“To be fair,” you say, eyes now finding Eddie’s, “you have also seen me puke and taken care of me when I had a hangover.”

“Yet I still sing in front of you.” When you don’t say anything, Eddie starts to get annoyed. “You know, I told Dustin that I wished you’d sing more, and he seemed confused because apparently you sing all the time around him.”

“That’s different!”

“How?” Now he sounds like he’s starting to get mad and it’s the last thing you want. Chrissy had already worked him up and you didn’t want to make it worse.

“You know, Dustin is always singing songs from movies and stuff. You’ve seen him and I singing Suddenly, Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors together. See? I’m not embarrassed in front of you.”

“Yeah, but you were also putting on that squeaky voice the woman has in the movie.” He sighs and takes a few steps towards your bed. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just like it when you sing.”

You look up at him and give him a small smile. “I like when you sing, too.”

“We’ll go to a karaoke club soon then,” he says with a smirk, and you’re not sure if he’s teasing or not. He presses a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll come by in a few hours to pick you up?”

“Mhmm.” He heads out of your room, but you call out for him before he can fully leave. “Eddie! Can you hit play for me? I think I got the right song up now.”

Eddie clicks the button on your Bluetooth speaker and Crazy Train starts playing, Ozzy’s maniacal laugh haunting your bedroom.

“Much better,” Eddie says over his shoulder as he walks out of your room.

After dinner with your parents, you head back up to your room. Your mom and dad assume it’s to finish your homework, but you’d finished that a little after Eddie left. Instead, you pull up your metal-only playlist and let it run on shuffle. The synthetic voice comes over your Bluetooth speaker.

“I am iron man.”

This song instantly has you reaching to turn the volume up. Black Sabbath’s iconic sound rings through your room and you jump on top of your bed. You head-bang to the opening notes, feeling more pumped up by the second. You spin around, scooping up your hairbrush from your nightstand to use as a makeshift microphone.

“Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all? Or if he moves, will he fall?”

You fall to your knees on the mattress, openly air-guitaring as you sing along.

“Is he alive or dead? Has he thoughts within his head? We'll just pass him there, why should we even care?”

There’s a new voice joining in with yours this time. You slowly turn around and move the hair out of the way that’s covering your face from all your whipping it about. Eddie leans against your doorframe, arms crossed against his chest, and the biggest smile on his face that you think you’ve ever seen. You hadn’t realized how long it’s been since you’ve seen him smile like that. Months? At least.

“Enjoy the show?” you ask as you hop down from your bed.

“Very much,” he says. “Don’t stop on my account.”

You give him a playful glare as you walk over to your mirror. You use your hairbrush/pseudo microphone to get your hair out of your face and looking somewhat presentable.

“How’d the deals go?” you ask as you grab your sneakers.

“Fine. Two usuals so it was quick and painless,” he tells you as you lace up your converse.

Unlike this basketball game will be, you think to yourself.

“Save any for us to use tomorrow?”

“Well, duh. But we’ll have to go somewhere to smoke it. Wayne’s got an old army buddy coming over for dinner,” Eddie says.

“The park?” You take a look at yourself in the mirror and adjust your Iron Maiden shirt. Steve once told you that you should wear school colors to a game. You told him to find you a band t-shirt that had the God-awful orange and green of the basketball uniforms and you would.

“Park sounds good to me,” Eddie says. He pulls on your arm to yank you away from the mirror. “You look perfect, let’s go.”

Your face flushes as you follow Eddie out of your room. Both of you wave to your parents in the living room before heading outside. Climbing into Eddie’s van is second nature at this point, and you make yourself comfortable by putting your sneakered feet up on the dashboard.

Eddie starts the car and Metallica begins blaring through the air. You drum on your knees as Eddie makes the short drive to Hawkins High. Hopefully, Lucas will play tonight. Since he’s been getting better, the coach has been putting him in more. It was great to see his confidence grow.

The parking lot in front of the school is almost as crowded as it would be if school was in session. Eddie slips the van into one of the few empty spots and you both get out. The murmuring from the gym could be heard out in the parking lot. Was this an important game? Was our team doing well this year? You had no idea. You came to most, if not all, of the games, but you hardly paid attention to any of it.

The sounds of the crowd talking loudly to one another, the squeaking of sneakers on the shiny floor, and the cacophony of instruments tuning up in the band section of the bleachers smack you in the face as Eddie opens the gym door for you. You nod to him in thanks before slipping inside. He follows behind you and you wave to Nancy who is on the sidelines with other students from the school paper.

Robin waves and gives you a big smile when you walk past the school band. You blow her a kiss, and she pretends to catch it. In the middle of the bleachers there’s a small gap where you and Eddie could fit. When you get closer to it, you can see it’s empty because Max, Dustin, and Mike have their feet there; their attempt at saving the seat for you guys.

“Finally,” Dustin says. “Thought someone was gonna sit on my feet any second.”

“You better move them quick then,” Eddie says. He moves to sit on the boy’s feet and all three of them bring their legs back to themselves.

From where you’re sitting, the cheerleaders are straight ahead. They’re in your direct line of vision and you get the feeling that your neck is going to be sore tomorrow because you’ll probably spend most of the game looking and talking to Max behind you.

Eddie raises his hand to wave, and you leave your eyes in your lap. You don’t need to see her pretty smile or her bright eyes. Her hair that was never out of place. You reach up to smooth over your own hair self-consciously.

“Stop,” Max says. She’s leaned in towards you so she can whisper in your ear. “Your hair is fine. You look great. And you know he’s going to spend more time talking to you than paying attention to her during the game anyway.”

With a sigh, you turn your head to give her a small smile. She reaches forward and squeezes your shoulder. Your girls knew how you felt about Eddie. With Nancy and Max, they said they had known before you even told them. The pair of them thought it was incredibly obvious to anyone who was paying attention, while Robin was shocked when you told her.

A whistle blows, signaling the start of the game. Your eyes scan the white jerseys moving around the court and on the sidelines. Number eight is standing on the side, hands on his hips and swaying from side to side. From the back, Lucas looks tense and nervous. Maybe this was a big game.

The cheerleaders began with their cheers, the sounds of pompoms crashing against each other catching on the air. Eddie watched the first few cheers before he turned to you.

“I’m already over it,” he says.

“Let me know when Lucas gets out on the court and I’ll care,” you answer him.

“Hey,” Dustin says, popping his head in between yours and Eddie’s. “You hear about the contest down at the bar?”

“What contest?” Eddie asks.

“What bar?” you ask.

Mike breaks his eyes away from the court to join the conversation. “The karaoke bar over by the grocery store.”

“They’re having like, a talent show - karaoke version - or something. I think you win $500,” Dustin says.

“When is it?” Eddie asks. He loved singing in front of people, and if he could win some money in the process, why not?

“Friday, you losers,” Max says, looking at Dustin and Mike. “You seriously didn’t notice that it’s the same night as Hellfire? The end of your campaign?”

“Shit,” Dustin says.

“Damn, that would’ve been fun,” Eddie says. “That’s a pretty big place, too. Nice sized audience.”

“Get up during halftime and sing to this crowd then,” you joke to Eddie.

“Oh God, don’t put that in his head. He’ll do it,” Mike says.

“These people wouldn’t know good music if I blared it in their ears,” Eddie says as he looks around the bleachers. “Ah, look. Harrington with another date. Who’s that one?”

Both you and Max crane your necks to try and see who Steve is with. He’s a few rows higher than you and closer to the band.

“Heidi?” Max asks.

“I don’t think so. Steve said he wouldn’t go on another date with her. Plus, Heidi’s hair is lighter than that,” you say.

Steve catches you and Max looking at him and mimes putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. Max rolls her eyes while you let out a laugh.

“Poor Steve,” you say. “All these girls just aren’t right for him.”

“I keep telling him that he’s gotta figure out what he wants but he never listens to me,” Dustin says.

“Does he listen to anyone?” Max asks.

“Robin, maybe,” you add.

“Has he ever asked you on a date?” Eddie asks you. You furrow your brow in confusion. Why was he asking this? Just curiosity?

“No,” you say. “We’re friends.”

Eddie shrugs. “Sometimes that’s the best thing to be before becoming something more.”

You take a deep breath and feel your stomach clenching.

“I’ve got to use the bathroom,” you say. You stand up and Max stands behind you.

“I’ll come with you,” she says.

The two of you walk out of the gymnasium and into the quiet school hallway. Max stays quiet until she confirms there aren’t any other girls in the bathroom.

“You’re entering that contest,” Max says.

“What?”

“Find a song that expresses what you’re feeling and let it out on stage. You’re good. Good enough to win. And you know the guys won’t see because they’ll be playing DND.”

“I don’t know, Max.” You lean against the sinks and Max leans next to you.

“Oh, come on. You’re telling me a song about wanting someone who you can’t have comes on the radio while you’re driving, and you don’t angry belt it out?” Max asks.

“Yeah, alone in my car,” you say.

“And it’s cathartic, right?”

“I guess.” You shrug and avoid Max’s eyes because you know what’s coming next.

“If that feels good, imagine getting all those emotions and feelings out on stage,” Max says. “I already signed you up.”

You sigh and rub your hands over your face. It makes sense and you hate it. Music has always been your way of expressing yourself. Maybe doing this would help you release some of your anger and sadness.

“Fine,” you finally concede.

“Yes!” Max says. “We’ll bring Nancy and Robin and it’ll be great.”

“No one tells the guys about this, though,” you say. “I don’t need any of the headache that would come with that.”

“My lips are sealed,” Max says.

 After the game, in which Lucas made the game winning shot, friends and family mingled with the players and cheerleaders. You would’ve gone with the others to talk to Lucas if Eddie hadn’t all but steered you in the direction of Chrissy. His hand was on the small of your back and you’d let him lead you anywhere like that. Even here.

“Eddie!” Chrissy calls. She runs forward and wraps her arms around his neck. He wraps his around her small waist and lifts her up, her short skirt riding up her ass. You divert your eyes from the pair of them, scanning the rest of the crowd for your friends.

“You were great,” Eddie is telling her. “And you looked so hot.”

Your fists clench and your fingernails are digging hard enough into your palms to draw blood.

“Like you even watched me,” Chrissy says with a laugh. “I saw you talking the whole time.”

Eddie frowns and his brows pinch together. “I did watch you.”

“Okay,” she says as she gives him a pat on the arm. It’s the condescending tone that’s dripping from her voice that makes you speak up.

“He pointed out to us in the third period when you did the new cheer. The one you came up with when you became cheer captain,” you say. You bite back from adding, “So, see? He pays attention to you even though you’re horrible to him and he deserves far better than you could ever be.”

Chrissy turns, looking at you as if she just noticed you were there. “Oh, hi.”

“Hi,” you respond, trying to keep the venom in your voice to a minimum.

She turns back to Eddie and wraps her arms around his neck. “I’m hungry. Can we go get pizza?”

Eddie glances at you out of the corner of his eye before looking back at her. “Uh, I hadn’t planned on that. I was going to give y/n a ride home.”

Chrissy pouts and it doesn’t suit her. Her lip goes too far out and her eyes scrunch in a way that looks more painful than sad.

“But I hardly got to see you today. Can’t she get a ride with someone else?” Chrissy asks.

“Don’t talk about her as if she’s not here,” Eddie says, pulling back from her a little. Her pout turns to a glare as she looks at him.

“It’s fine,” you say, taking a few steps back. You didn’t want to make this worse for Eddie and you certainly didn’t want to be stuck in the van with the two of them.

“But…” Eddie trails off.

“It’s okay,” you say, though your heart is telling you the opposite. “Go get pizza.”

He frowns deeper but nods his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here.” You give him a small smile before disappearing into the crowd.

Hopefully, Steve didn’t drive his date here and she had her own way home. You look through the mass of bodies for the familiar head of brown hair but come up empty. You don’t see a baseball cap with curls spilling out of it or a redhead either.

With a sigh, you walk to the doors. You head out into the dark evening, the stars and moon shining bright down on Hawkins this night. Most of the parking lot has cleared out and you don’t see a car you recognize other than the big brown van that used to bring you so much comfort.

Home is only six miles away, so you decide to walk. It’s a chilly night and you wrap your arms around yourself, hands rubbing up and down your arms that are bare in your t-shirt. You’ve made the walk before and you estimate it will take you about two hours. Thankful that you wore your most comfortable sneakers, you head up the hill and off school property.

The streets are quiet and dark, which unsettles you. Weird things happen in Hawkins all the time and you’d wager this is how a lot of them started. After walking two miles, a total of three cars have passed you by. You were almost more afraid when you saw the cars coming towards you rather than walking alone in the darkness.

You hear a car coming from behind and you take a step closer to the tree line and out of the road since the driver probably can’t see you.

“Y/n?”

You look back and Robin is hanging out the passenger window of Steve’s car.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“Walking home,” you say as if it was a normal occurrence. Maybe if you act as if this wasn’t that big of a deal, they’d believe it.

“In the dark? Alone? At night? Are you insane?” Robin says. The driver door opens and Steve steps out. He walks over to you and looks at you in concern.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine.”

“Where’s Eddie?”

“He, um. Well, Chrissy wanted pizza. So, I said I’d get another ride, but I couldn’t find one. And home isn’t too far.” You shrug, not meeting his eyes.

Steve rests his hands on his hips and sighs. His typical mom stance.

“Come on. I’ll drive you home. You’re going to have to pile in though.” He doesn’t give you a chance to argue, wrapping an arm around you and guiding you to the car. “Jesus, you’re freezing. You know, you could’ve called me. Or Robin or Max or Dustin or Mike.”

Steve opens the back door, and the three younger faces look back at you. Max scoots over until she’s sitting on Dustin’s lap.

“I don’t know how I feel about this,” Dustin says. He raises his arms in the air so he isn’t touching Max at all.

You slide in and Steve closes the door behind you. Dustin refuses to look at anyone, cheeks flushing. You can’t help the small smile on your face as you tug Max over to sit on your lap instead. She settles easily enough and rests her head against the window.

The car smells like fried food and you find out why when Mike holds a bag out in front of you.

“Burger? Fries?” he offers. “Or…” he rummages around in bags between his feet. “Onion rings.”

“Toss one,” you tell him. He smiles as you open your mouth and tries to throw the fried onion inside. Surprisingly, he makes it, which makes the four of you in the back cheer.

Robin gets dropped off first, her living the closest to school. She grabs her band hat and trumpet out of the trunk and waves before she disappears inside her house. Dustin takes the opportunity to jump into the front seat. Technically, Max should’ve been the next one dropped off, but Steve kept driving straight past the trailer park. Max didn’t say a word, knowing why Steve was avoiding the neighborhood for now.

“Why didn’t Nancy drive you home?” you ask Mike as Steve pulls into the Wheeler driveway.

“Because she’s a priss and has to stay late to work on the stupid paper,” he says.

“Hey!” Both you and Steve yell at the same time as he scrambles out of the car.

“You try living with her,” he says before waving his hand in a goodbye.

Your house is next, and you sag in relief when it comes into view. You hadn’t been expecting to see it for at least another hour at the rate you were walking before.

“Thanks for the ride, Steve,” you say. “I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime that idiot leaves you high and dry just call me,” Steve says, looking at you in the rear-view mirror. You smile to yourself, thinking this must be what it’s like to have a big brother. You now understand why the kids all gravitated towards him.

“Thanks,” you repeat as you get out of the car. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” you say to Max and Dustin. They wave as you head up to your door.

 School the next day is weird. People are excited because the basketball team won; so, the halls were buzzing with that energy. But most people were tired as well, having stayed up later than usual to come to the game. It all gives you a nice cover for how you’re feeling. You feel sluggish and irritated. Though you can’t put your finger on the exact reason why, you knew the people it could be blamed on.

Eddie leans up against the locker next to yours between second and third period as you’re exchanging your books out.

“You didn’t text me last night,” he says.

“What?” you ask, not looking at him.

“When you got home. You didn’t text me to let me know you got home okay.”

“You didn’t ask me to,” you point out.

He frowns. “I didn’t think I had to. It’s just kind of something we do.”

“Well, sorry, I guess.” You close your locker and turn to him. “Was there something else?”

“Are you mad at me?” he asks. His big puppy dog eyes are shining and it’s truly your damn kryptonite.

You take a deep breath. “No.” You don’t know if that’s really true or not, though.

“You’re sure?” Eddie raises his eyebrows at you.

“I’m sure,” you lie.

“Are we still on for the park later?” he asks, hope glimmering in his eyes.

“Of course,” you say, eager to see him relax.

“Perfect. I’ve got everything in my backpack already to go.” The weed, he means. You can’t think of a better day to get high than today.  

 School simultaneously drags on and ends too quickly. Chrissy has cheer practice, so you don’t have to deal with her while you walk to Eddie’s van. Once inside, he cranks Sweet Child O’ Mine because he knows it’s one of your favorites. When you don’t hum along or even tap your foot along to the beat, he knows something is up.

He parks the van across the street from the park and grabs his backpack.

“Ready?” he asks.

You nod in affirmation and hop out. The two of you walk down the street to the crosswalk. Normally you’d just jay-walk to cross the street, but this intersection was notorious for pedestrian injuries. When you get your signal that it’s okay to cross, Eddie trips and you hear the ripping of material. You look down and see he’s ripped his own jeans by stepping on the hem of them while walking. The tear that was at his knee has now tripled in size and he could easily stick his whole leg through it. You giggle to yourself, and Eddie breathes a sigh of relief at the sound.

The two of you find your usual bench at the park and claim it. It’s hidden by a copse of trees so it’s easier to hide your illicit activities, but still allows you a good view of the park.

Eddie pulls out the two joints he’d rolled and lights one before handing it to you. Though you were used to the sickeningly bitter odor, it didn’t mean you liked it. You wrinkle your nose before raising the bud to your lips. You inhale, letting the burn curl down your throat and into your lungs. You were pretty good at not coughing by now. The first few times you’d ended up in total tears because of the intense hacking.

Eddie takes a hit of his own joint and rests his head against the back of the bench, blowing smoke straight up towards the sky. He closes his eyes and you take the time to admire him. He’d forgone the denim vest today and just settled on his leather jacket over his hellfire shirt. Hints of stubble were starting to appear on his chin and his lips were a little chapped. His long, dark eyelashes kiss his cheeks as his eyes move under his closed lids. He’s so beautiful it physically aches you.

He opens his eyes and turns his head to smile at you. It’s a real Eddie smile and it warms your heart. It’s so rare these days but it’s so bright it could rival the moon at night.

“What’re you thinking about?” he asks.

“The moon,” you say.

Eddie chuckles and takes another hit. “Oh yeah?” He releases the smoke. “What about it?”

“It’s so bright. But you only notice the brightness at night.” You came up with it off the top of your head, but it sounded good to you. You raise your joint to your mouth for another puff.

“Like some people I guess,” Eddie says. He doesn’t sound like he’s finished talking so you wait. “Sometimes you don’t see how amazing some people are until everything else around you dims, but they don’t. They’re still there bright and shining.”

It could be that he’s having a profound thought about his life, or the pot is kicking in, so you can’t be sure.

“I want to go to the moon,” you say. Eddie laughs and you can tell both of you are feeling the effects now.

His laugh is infectious and causes you to start laughing as well. You curl in on yourself, abdominal muscles starting to cramp, and you slide to the side to lay across Eddie’s lap.

“Eds?” you ask, eyes staring up at the clouds above.

“Mm?”

“I miss you.”

He frowns down at you and pokes your forehead with his ringed index finger.

“I’m right here, silly head.”

“I know,” you say.

“I like when we talk,” Eddie says. His head is moving all around, taking in all the sights in the park around you. There are a few squirrels scampering up the tree closest to you. Birds sing in the distance and the laughter of kids comes from the playground a few hundred feet away.

“I like it too,” you say. “It’s so easy to talk to you.”

“Always has been. Since we met.”

“You’re my favorite person,” you tell him.

He grins and drops his head down to look at you. “More than Timothée Chalamet?”

“Mhmm,” you hum in confirmation.

“Wow,” Eddie says with a laugh. “That’s saying something.”

The two of you decide to lay in the grass as you let the pot work through your system. Eddie won’t be able to drive for a while anyway, so you take advantage of the nice day.

“I had a weird dream last night,” Eddie says.

“Yeah? Tell me.”

“I was playing at The Hideout. But when I looked down, I was playing the wrong guitar. It was a nice guitar. It was gold and smooth and sounded beautiful. But it wasn’t my guitar. I put the gold guitar down and tried to find mine. I started freaking out because I thought I lost it. I looked everywhere and couldn’t find it.”

“Did you find it?” you ask.

“I did. But some guy was playing it and it made me so mad.”

“What guy?” You let your heavy eyes droop closed.

“M’not sure. He didn’t look familiar. Could’ve been anyone, I guess. But he was playing my guitar and I wanted it back. But he said I was too late. And it made me really really sad.”

You frown and reach over to take Eddie’s hand in yours. “It’s okay, Eddie. No one is going to take your guitar away. Why would it want to leave you?”

 The high lasted a few hours and by the time Eddie got you home for dinner, the munchie effect was still going strong. You devoured the lasagna your mom put down in front of you. The bloodshot look had faded from your eyes, so you were just hoping your parents thought you were extra hungry today for some reason.

 You should’ve gone to sleep hours ago. It would’ve been easy; you always slept better on days when you got high with Eddie. But you still hadn’t picked a song to sing at the karaoke competition. Your head was in the middle of your bed, and you rested your legs up against the wall over your headboard. You scroll and scroll through playlists, trying to find a song that expresses what you’ve been feeling.

The sound of brakes squeaking makes you move your legs down and sit up on your bed. Your phone tells you that it’s 3:17am. You walk over to your window and see Eddie walking around the side of your house. You frown at him, and he notices you up in your window. You point towards the back door and Eddie nods.

Eddie would sometimes come by in the middle of the night, but he’d usually text first. You creep down the stairs as quietly as you can, avoiding any creaks. Your cat picks his head up from where he’s sleeping on the top of the couch to see what you’re up to. He decides he doesn’t care though and adjusts himself into a new comfortable position to fall back asleep.

Luckily, your dad had fixed it so the back door didn’t stick anymore when you tried to open it. It glides open silently and Eddie steps inside.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” you whisper to him.

He nods but he won’t meet your eyes. You frown and take his hand in yours. As you walk back past your cat, he picks his head up again and deems Eddie worthy of his affection. Eddie scratches his head two times before following you up the stairs.

You pull him into your room and quietly close the door behind you.

“What’s up?” you ask him.

He shrugs and sits on the edge of your bed. “Didn’t want to be alone.”

The sheets are messy, and you crawl on top of them, making yourself comfortable against the mountain of pillows against your headboard. Eddie glances back before leaning backwards so his head ends up in your lap. You start to play with his hair. You haven’t done this in a while, and it warms your heart. His eyes drift closed, and you think he’s fallen asleep until he quietly kicks his boots off so he can pull his legs up on the bed as well.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you ask.

He opens his eyes and stares at your ceiling. “I feel confused.”

“About what?”

“That’s the thing. Everything.”

You frown and trace your pinky finger along one of his curls. “Elaborate?”

“I don’t know how,” he says. “Feel like everything is upside down. I feel like I want things to go back to normal, but I don’t know what’s changed to make me think things aren’t normal. Am I making sense?”

“Sort of,” you say.

His eyes begin to water, and it breaks your heart. You’d give anything to be able to fix what’s wrong, but he doesn’t seem to know.

“Where do I belong?” he asks.

“Here,” you say without hesitation. “Here with me and your uncle and Dustin and all your friends. Here with your favorite guitar and your band and your loud as all hell van.”

That makes him chuckle and your heart feels ten pounds lighter. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes again.

“Did you miss something on that list? Or someone?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” you say carefully. “Did I?”

He licks over his lips before answering. “I don’t believe you did. I think that was a pretty complete list. Doesn’t need anyone else.”

“No?” you ask.

He opens his eyes and shakes his head. “She reamed me out for an hour before because I hadn’t bought prom tickets yet.”

“I didn’t even know they were on sale,” you say. You’re trying to keep your voice calm for him, but it’s proving difficult.

“Neither did I,” he says. “But she goes on and on about how she already bought her dress and the, and I’m quoting here, ‘the prettiest high heels in the world.’”

“Shouldn’t she have waited until, you know…at least until you asked?”

“Right?” he huffs out. He runs his hands over his face, and you start to play with the small curls along his forehead. “I’ve got to end it.”

“I think so,” you say in a small voice.

He tilts his head up so he can look at you. “Friday, yeah? Tomorrow I’ve got a test, so I don’t want the stress added to that. I need to pass this class.”

“Biology again?” you ask. “I thought you were doing better.”

“I am, but I won’t if I bomb this test.”

“You should probably get some sleep then.” You almost said “go home and get some sleep” but that’s not what you really want. He nods and goes to sit up, but you catch his arm.

“Here?” he asks.

You shrug and slide yourself under the covers. “Why not? I don’t have cooties. I got the shot.”

He smiles and shrugs out of his leather jacket before sliding in the bed next to you. Your heart races as his head lays on the pillow next to yours, noses almost touching.

“Goodnight,” he whispers.

“Goodnight.”

 On Friday, you only get to see Eddie between second and third period at your locker. His plan is to have lunch with Chrissy outside and break up with her then. Your paths don’t cross after lunch, and he has Hellfire and you’re meeting with the girls to get ready for the karaoke contest right after school. Your stomach will be in knots until you find out how it went.

Nancy dusts your eyelids with silver eyeshadow as you sit on your bed. Max and Robin go through your closet, deciding what you should wear tonight.

“No, that might be see-through under the lights.”

“What about this?”

“It clashes with the silver eyeshadow.”

“Any texts from Eddie?” Nancy asks quietly as she cleans up the edges.

“No,” you breathe out with a sigh. “But he’s never on his phone during Hellfire. I think that would be blasphemous in there.”

Nancy hums her agreement.

“We’ve got one!” Robin announces.

You open your eyes to see Max holding a royal blue dress that accentuates your curves and feels silky smooth against your skin. You wrinkle your nose at them.

“It doesn’t go,” you say.

“With what?” Max asks.

“My song!”

“Oh, you’re right,” Robin says.

“Fine, fine,” Max says. She puts the dress back in the closet and starts to dig through your drawers.

“I hope there are no sex toys in here,” Robin says as she joins Max.

You roll your eyes as Nancy touches up your eyeliner.

“Jeans,” Nancy says as she works. “She should wear jeans and a t-shirt.”

“That’s what she wears every day,” Robin says.

“Exactly,” you and Nancy say at the same time.

“Okay, fine,” Robin acquiesces. “But what one?”

“Iron Maiden?” Max asks as she picks one out of the drawer. “There’s also Guns ‘n Roses, Black Sabbath, Metallica. Geez, any from this century?”

“Corroded Coffin,” you say. Max looks at you and grins.

“Where is it?” she asks.

“Top drawer.”

Robin and Max pick out the best jeans to go with your favorite tee. Nancy tells you to get dressed before she fixes your hair. She doesn’t do much, just spray a little product in it and tussle it up.

“Perfect,” she says.

 You pace back and forth backstage. You’re not exactly nervous. Not about the singing, anyway. About letting your feelings channel through you in this way. It was a vulnerability you’d never shared before. Even if the audience just thought you’d picked this song because you liked it, you and your friends knew the truth.

The girl on stage now is singing Madonna and you take deep breaths to settle yourself.

 “Hey.”

Nancy jumps at the voice in her ear. She turns her head to see Eddie sliding into the seat next to her. Her eyes widen comically, and Eddie raises an eyebrow at her.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here either, but do I look like a ghost or something?”

“What are you doing here?” Robin demands from the other side of Nancy. Someone in the crowd shushes her, but she doesn’t care. “You’re supposed to be at Hellfire.”

Eddie shrugs with a devious smile and Dustin plops down in the seat on the other side of him.

“His stupid campaign wiped us out in the first half hour,” Dustin says. “We remembered this was happening, so we figured we’d catch the last half.”

Max’s leg bounces nervously on Robin’s other side and Eddie notices the motion.

“What’s wrong, Red?” She raises her eyebrows and shakes her head at him. “Wait, where’s y/n?” he asks.

Robin leans in to whisper in Max’s ear. “Do we have time to warn her?”

“No,” Max whispers back. “She’s up next.”

“Maybe she won’t see with all the lights,” Nancy leans over to add.

Robin groans and drops her head in her hands.

The girl wraps up singing Papa Don’t Preach and the audience claps politely. The manager steps out on the stage and reads from a clipboard.

“Next up we have y/n y/l/n.”

Eddie’s jaw drops before a huge smile forms on his face. He was going to get to hear you sing again. Finally.

You step onstage and Eddie’s taken aback. He didn’t expect an elaborate outfit or anything of the sort but seeing you in a Corroded Coffin shirt took him by surprise.

The music begins and the notes tickle his brain. He knows this song. He knows that he knows it because of Chrissy, even if he can’t place it. Why would you choose this song?

You grip the mic tightly in your grip and lift it to your mouth.

“You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset. She's going off about something that you said, ‘cause she doesn't get your humor like I do.”

It’s Taylor Swift, Eddie recognizes. This confuses him even further. What was it you said about her music?

“I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night. I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like, and she'll never know your story like I do.”

You feel your confidence picking up as you keep going. Looking at the audience doesn’t seem like a good idea, so you keep your eyes vague as they move across the open space in front of you. It feels good to have a microphone in your hand.

“But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts. She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers. Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time.”

Eddie’s stunned to his seat. His jaw hangs open as he recalls what you said. It was like Taylor Swift took a page out of your diary and wrote a song about it. There was no mistaking what and who this song was about. Even for someone who knew how dense he could be at times.

“If you could see that I'm the one who understands you. Been here all along so, why can't you see? You belong with me. You belong with me.”

The grin that spreads across your face is freeing. You never knew being vulnerable could feel this good. You’re sharing your heart with the people in the audience and most of them have no idea.

“Walk in the streets with you in your worn-out jeans, I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be. Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself, ‘Hey, isn't this easy?’ And you've got a smile that can light up this whole town, I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down. You say you're fine, I know you better than that. Hey, what you doing with a girl like that?”

All three of your friends in the audience are caught between watching you work the stage like you were born for it and looking over at Eddie to gauge his reaction. Nancy notices the way his hands are gripping the armrests and she doesn’t know what that means.

“She wears high heels, I wear sneakers. She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers. Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time. If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along so, why can't you see? You belong with me.”

You catch a flash of red hair in the audience, and it widens your smile. So that’s where your friends are out there. You’ll have to get a good look at them when singing the next part.

“Standing by and waiting at your backdoor, all this time how could you not know, baby? You belong with me. You belong with me.”

There’s a small instrumental break and you take the opportunity to lower the mic and look at the row your friends are in. But your eyes catch a very familiar pair of brown ones and your veins ice over and your stomach bottoms out. Eddie’s staring at you with those eyes and they’re enough to make you melt on the spot without all the lights on you adding to the heat. You try not to let it break your stride on stage. Spinning on the sole of your shoe, you face the back of the stage to compose your face and take a deep breath. You continue. The show must go on.

“Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night. I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry. And I know your favorite songs, and you tell me 'bout your dreams. Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me.”

You realize it’s all out in the open now. The Band-Aid has been ripped off and you might as well finish the song off strong. It’s easy to find Eddie’s eyes in the audience, wide as they are, and you keep eye contact as you sing the next part.

“Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you? Been here all along so, why can't you see? You belong with me.”

Eddie isn’t fully sure he’s awake. This has to be a dream, right? He’d pinch himself if he were able to move a muscle. Your eyes boring into his and baring your soul to him. There’s pressure on the back of his eyes and a fist clenching around his heart. How long have you been hurting over this?

“Standing by and waiting at your backdoor all this time how could you not know, baby? You belong with me. You belong with me.”

Adrenaline is coursing through your body and you’re already worried about what’s going to happen when it wears off. You wish the song wouldn’t end so you don’t have to leave the stage and deal with whatever comes after.

“You belong with me. Have you ever thought just maybe, you belong with me? You belong with me.”

The cheers and applause are white noise to you. There’s only one other person in the room and he hasn’t moved a muscle; not even on his shocked face.

You give the crowd the best smile you can before exiting the stage. You drop the mic on a table and find the most isolated corner of the backstage that you can. Resting your head against the wall and taking big, deep breaths is all you can focus on.

Hands land gently on your shoulders, but you still jump. You spin around quickly and come face to face with the one person you no longer knew how to talk to. His big brown eyes are wide and glassy. He’s never resembled a baby cow more than he does in this moment. His mouth keeps opening and closing, as if he wants to speak but doesn’t know what to say. That makes two of you.

“I didn’t know,” he finally says.

You close your eyes and nod. “I know. I didn’t want you to.”

Eddie shakes his head. “That’s not, um. That’s not what I meant.” He squeezes his eyes closed and licks over his lips. “I didn’t know. But she did.”

Your brow pinches in confusion and you shake your head. “I don’t understand.” The last thing you thought would be happening right now is Eddie trying to explain something to you.

“When I broke up with Chrissy.” Eddie sees the wince on your face at her name and it breaks his heart. How had he never noticed before? “She knew I loved you. She said she knew from day one. That’s why I didn’t text you right after I did it. I needed to think. About how true it was.”

“And?” The word barely squeaks out of you. Every nerve in your body was on edge, awaiting his response.

“After that?” Eddie gestures to the stage. “How could I have any doubt?”

His hand cups the back of your head gently and brings your mouth against his. His other hand snakes around your waist and your arms automatically come up to encircle his neck. It’s a gentle kiss, but it gets across all the emotions floating between the two of you. Relief, joy, love, excitement, fear, to name a few.

Eddie’s lips dance across yours again and again. You pull him closer, and he gets the hint, his tongue coming out to glide across your bottom lip. You happily part your lips for him.

“Y/n y/l/n….y/n y/l/n…y/n y/l/n?”

Eddie finally realizes your name is being called and pulls back from your lips. You whine and go to chase them, but Eddie chuckles and points towards the stage.

“Babe, I think you won,” he says.

You grin, never taking your eyes off him. You cup his jaw and lean in to press a soft kiss against his lips.

“Oh, I know I did.”

[marlynnofmany]

Scary Stories in Space

If you’ve ever wanted to experience the rapt attention of bodybuilder-shaped swamp monster/goldfish crosses, who are equal parts muscles, fins, and floaty silk clothes with absolutely zero interest in blinking, then I can’t speak highly enough of telling ghosts stories to a pair of Frillians.

That hadn’t been the plan; it just came up in conversation while we tidied the storage hold. Our ship was going to take on a lot of cargo soon. There were things on the floor that needing picking up, which was boring, so we passed the time with stories.

As it turns out, Frillians love ghost stories.

“Then what happened??” asked Blip when I paused for effect. She’d frozen in place holding a wrench and a heat sensor, wide-eyed in a cloud of fluttering silks and fins, all electric blue and bright red and deeply invested in my story. Her brother Blop was her mirror in aqua and lavender.

“Then,” I said, picking up a crowbar, “When he went to let her out of the car, he found a hook on the door handle!” I caught the crowbar on my hand dramatically.

“Ohhh!” they chorused with a gratifying flinch, for all the world like frat bros watching someone get hit in the nuts. “Near miss! Oh, wow!”

I grinned and put the crowbar in a cabinet while they rehashed the very simple story to each other. I’d already told them a few others, and I was going to run out of stories before they ran out of enthusiasm.

Blip asked, “What do you think they did when they found that?”

With a shudder like a bird fluffing feathers, Blop suggested, “Throw it as far away as possible? Run into the house?”

Blip nodded, fins still flared slightly. “Maybe both. Then call the authorities.”

I walked past to collect a stray cable. “I don’t know about the authorities where you’re from, but mine wouldn’t have been much help.”

The twins discussed this some more, then agreed that the best response would be to run screaming into the house and lock every door they could find. Only then did they remember that they were supposed to be cleaning, and resume putting stuff away.

After three seconds of silence, Blop asked, “Know any more?”

“Maybe,” I said. “Lemme think.” I shelved a box and looked around the room for inspiration. No ghosts hid in this storage hold, though it had been home to many an animal cargo. The reinforced clear pen was still empty, and had been for a while — our cargos were mostly boxes these days. The door to the hallway stood open, and I almost had a thought about some doorway-based haunting, but couldn’t pin it down. I moved to stack a few stale tubs of animal food while I thought.

Then my cat Telly walked in, recently free to roam the ship on a provisional basis, and I had an idea. The fact that Telly had made a beeline for Blip’s spare overcoat helped. She burrowed right under, sniffing out the shrimp sticks that were undoubtedly hidden in several pockets.

Neither Frillian noticed.

“There was one story,” I said, watching them both perk up like meerkats. Fishy, musclebound meerkats. “The legend of the Pants With Nobody Inside Them.”

“Pants With Nobody Inside Them?” they dutifully asked.

I tugged at my own pant leg. “People where I’m from wear a lot of clothes that are shaped to fit our bodies, and have the same silhouette when they’re empty. Just imagine how creepy and unsettling it must have been for the first person to venture into a dark forest at night, and see the shape of another human — but only the bottom half. Walking … steadily … towards them.” I took slow and deliberate strides toward the far side of the animal pen, drawing their gaze away from the shrimp stick excavation.

“That sounds terrifying,” Blip declared. “Did they run?”

“Oh, you bet they did!” I said, jogging slowly in place, then speeding up. “But the pants ran after.”

Blop squeaked in fear, muscly arms bent to bring his hands to his mouth.

They had no idea how hard I was working not to laugh. “That first person got away, and so did the next. But it kept happening, and the pants got faster each time. People started to worry about going outside, and wonder about their own clothes — they’d look at a pair of pants on the floor, and imagine it starting to get up on its own. Then OH JEEZ WHAT’S THAT?!” I pointed through the clear walls of the pen.

Both Frillians whirled and screamed at the sight of — as promised — an item of clothing moving around.

Telly bolted in panic, with one shrimp stick in her mouth and several others scattering in all directions. I heard someone down the hall yelp, though it was hard to make out over the Frillians screaming.

“WHAT WAS THAT?”

“WAS THAT AN ANIMAL?”

“WAIT, THAT WAS YOUR ANIMAL, WASN’T IT?”

“WHAT WAS IT DOING IN MY COAT??”

I leaned against a wall, laughing. I couldn’t hold it back any more. “Stealing your shrimp sticks,” I managed. “Sorry.”

After a little more yelling and hyperventilating, during which three other crew members came to see what the emergency was, they finally calmed down. The rest of the crew was waved away.

“So,” Blip said, clearly determined to speak evenly, “How does the story end?”

I was still grinning. “Somebody makes friends with the pants. They were chasing after people because they were lonely.”

“What!” Blip exclaimed, fins spread and eyes wide, which just made me burst into laughter again. Blop echoed her.

“It’s a children’s story,” I explained. “I think the pants wanted to dance with other people. Or they wanted someone to wear them; I honestly don’t remember the details. But they were lonely.”

Blop shook his head. “Lonely haunted clothing,” he said. “Your planet sure has some memorable ones.”

Blip picked up her coat at arm’s length, and I couldn’t tell if she was looking for damage or ghosts. “Maybe it was hungry,” she suggested.

“I’m sure many ghosts like shrimp sticks,” I said, picking one up from the floor. “I’ll bet we could think up a new story about that. Maybe they’re haunted by the ghosts of the shrimp, mad about being eaten?”

Their dismayed expressions told me that such a story might ruin their favorite snack for them.

“Or,” I said, turning on my heel, “We could think up a story about a haunted… stun gun! Maybe it keeps a ghostly copy of all the people it’s stunned. How do you think a story like that would work?”

To my delight, Blip and Blop proved just as interested in composing new stories as listening to old ones. The rest of the tidying session passed quickly.

I take no responsibility for the nightmares they inflicted on the rest of the crew.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come!

(And yes that’s a reference to the Dr Seuss story.)

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #19 – Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro

This is the third book I’ve picked up as part of my whole aspirational ‘read a piece of non-SFF capital-l Literature every month’ New Years resolution. Of those three, it is the second I opened only to discover it actually is science fiction and/or fantasy after all. Which is just a very funny thing to happen twice, and also meant the book was significantly less outside my comfort zone than I’d expected. Which did make it quite a pleasant read.

The story follows Klara, an AF (Artificial Friend, a companion robot for children) in a broadly sketched and mildly dystopian future America. At first it just follows her life in the shop where she’s kept, observing the world around her and interacting with the store manager and the other AFs, but the meat of the book is her life with the family who buys her. Over time you learn that Josie, her child, suffers from severe and increasing health issues as a consequence of being ‘lifted’ (genetically enhanced, in some unclear way) in the womb. Klara, being solar-powered and having quietly developed a one-robot religion underpinned by a firm belief in the power and benevolence of Mr. Sun (and a moral opposition to Pollution, which obscures and drives him away) does her best to invoke his help in nourishing and restoring Josie. At the same time, she learns that her job is not just to comfort Josie but, should she die, to be her mother’s replacement goldfish and imitate her perfectly.

The setting is broadly sketched and never really exposited upon – it’s just not something Klara is particularly interested in – but it’s a very modern sort of dystopia. Much of the populace, even among the American professional elite, have been left ‘post-employed’ by robotic automation. The remaining meritocratic elite have embraced novel and risky genetic enhancements for their children, as the only possible way of ensuring they get into a good school and one of the few good careers left. There are fascist militia compounds off in the distance somewhere. The overall feeling is that of a society dimly aware it’s midway through collapsing, but with no ideas of how to arrest its fall. But since Klara has no interest at all in either politics or economics, we only see this as it directly intrudes upon the story, with nary a lecture or manifesto to be seen.

I’ve only ever read one other book by Ishiguro, so I really don’t know how much this generalizes, but the similarities to Never Let Me Go really were striking. Both books are set in really rather horrifying societies, but portrayed in an utterly normalized way by someone who never even thinks to question the real rules they live under. Which is even more striking because in both cases the protagonist is seen by society as only quasi-human – like a person, but existing only in relation to and for the benefit of the people who really matter. And in both cases the story follows the protagonist who lives their life moving through the role they were made for without ever really resisting it, let alone changing it. Not that the roles of ‘friend to sick child’ and ‘mandatory organ donor’ are exactly comparable but, you know.

A definition I’ve always kind of liked for what makes literary fiction, well, literary is that it’s as or more concerned with the beauty and presentation of its prose than it is on the information the prose is conveying. Not at all true in terms of how the term’s actually used (genre is marketing), but it works for me, and lets this book count as literature quite handily. The whole story is told quite tightly from Klara’s point of view, and it’s a pleasure to read. Even if it took me more than a few pages to really understand how she described scenes, always foregrounding the ways they were divided by grids or patterns of the sun’s light.

Portraying the normal human society through the eyes of a naive and somewhat alien narrator to get away without explaining everything is a classic sci fi trope for a reason, but it’s overall used really well here as well.

I’m still not entirely sure how to interpret the sudden intrusion of magical realism with the ending. But otherwise, really quite a good read.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

could i request some chris pontius or steveo x shy reader? where maybe it's her first day on set and she like works in makeup and he's just flirting w her making a blushing mess lol tysm

Cat and Mouse

Y/N gets her first real job and gets caught up in a romance she could have never imagined!

Steve-O X Fem!Reader

(Fluff)

2.8k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, slowburn, flirting, teasing, crude language, drinking, accidental injuries, praise, stalkerish behavior from Y/N if you squint

An: Thank you so much for the request!! Finals hav been kicking my ass lately but I somehow managed to crank this one out XD There’s something about the dynamic of this fic that just enchanted me and I would be more than happy to write this kind of fic for some of the other guys! I’d especially love to see what would play out with Johnny, but maybe that’s a little self indulgent X) Anyways, as always, my requests are open and I’m still accepting fic requests for my 100 follower special, so keep sending them in!! I have a few good ones of my own coming down the pipeline so keep your eye out! ;)

It was your first day on set, so it was understandable that you were nervous as you walked into the trailer on the Paramount lot, your makeup kit in tow. All you were told when you first got the job was where you would report to and that you would be working on a movie set- that’s it. Kinda sketchy but hey, maybe it’s a privacy thing. It was just you in the makeup trailer as you collected yourself, taking a deep breath as you flipped the bright white vanity lights on and started to set up your gear on the counter.

You were so immersed with arranging brushes and products that you didn’t even hear the trailer door open as your client walked in, only being alerted to his presence as you felt the foldy director’s chair he was sitting in shift a little as he took a seat. Holy shit. Speechless, you blinked a few times, trying to register who you were looking at- not that you didn’t know him, it’s just this was too good to not be some dream. “Are- are you Steve- O?” He chuckled, flashing you that boyish smile as he sat back in his chair, “In the flesh, baby.”

It was about then when you realized that maybe you were leaning a little too close to him- your boobs were practically squished against the back of his head. He didn’t seem to be that bothered by it, not looking upset in the slightest as you stepped away, blushing. It would be impossible to deny that you’d had a crush on Steve ever since you saw him on TV, back when he was swallowing goldfish for a living, and this first impression wasn't helping the feelings that stirred inside of you.

Trying to distract yourself, you grabbed a shade of concealer that looked like it matched his skin tone to cover up the blotchy mauve shiner that covered nearly a quarter of his face- a product of a movie star lifestyle you could only dream of. “Hey, don’t worry about it.” Steve gestured to the glaring mark with a finger, his voice low, “Kinda wanna keep it there. Looks pretty rad, y’know?” You nodded, the only response your body could give, your eyes wide. He seemed so cool, so calm in comparison to his usual obnoxious stunt dude behavior.

And so you continued with what you were being paid to do, trying your damnedest to stay professional. This was hard, especially when you needed to lean in towards him, maybe four inches away from Steve’s face, tilting his chin up with your left hand to get the angle you needed to look at something or other. Of course, he wasn’t making it easy for you with how he kept catching your gaze the whole time with those sweet eyes of his. Part of you was a little pissed off- what gives him the right to do this? To make you all flustered with nothing but a look- but another part of you was maybe a little too excited at all of this.

A few minutes in the same room as him and you were already wrapped around his finger. Hell, you weren't in the slightest turned off when you caught him stealing glances down your shirt when he thought you weren’t paying attention. Weirdly, you found that kind of endearing, maybe even attractive. Those five minutes in the makeup trailer felt like an eternity and you breathed a sigh of relief as you stood up after you finished your job. Turning around, you went to zip up your case when you heard something behind you, “Hey, what’s your name, makeup lady?” Your heart jumped a little when he spoke up, his raspy voice barely above a whisper. You whipped around, nearly nose to nose with Steve as you avoided looking at him as much as you could, concealing your pink face, “My name’s Y/N.”

You couldn’t see it, but there was a little glint in Steve’s eye when he realized just how much he was affecting you. “Well,” His voice took on a slightly different tone, “I guess I’ll be seeing you around, Y/N.” And just like that, he was gone out the trailer door that he didn’t bother to close on his way out.

And you wished it ended there- that you could just be left alone with your silly schoolgirl crush on the cool movie star, but of course it didn’t. It couldn’t. Of all places, it happened in the white food tent around lunch time. You were going down the line of fold up tables, picking through what the catering services had brought in those silver aluminum pans- chicken, some vedgie thing, and some crinkle fries- when you heard someone call to you from a ways back, “Hey, makeup lady!” Assuming it was some production supervisor (they never seemed to respect you), you rolled your eyes, not even looking back as you replied, “I have a name, you know.”

“Oh yeah! Shit, what was it…Y/N!” Your heart sank when you realized who it was as they slipped in next to you in line. Steve seemed totally unphased, still as friendly as he was before but with a suggestive tone in his voice that made you shiver, “So, how’s your first day goin’? Everyone nice?” He didn’t take anything from the trays as he moved along, seemingly only there to talk to you, “If not, I’ll totally kick their ass.” You hoped Steve didn’t notice how much your hands were shaking as you nodded and smiled, hiding the warmth on your cheeks as you speed walked away with half a plate of food.

He wore that smug ass look on his face with pride as he sat down at the table with the guys like he just won the Super Bowl. Understandably, they were a little confused at his bravado. Johnny wasn't impressed, “What the hell was that?” Steve just grinned as he took a sip of his beer, shooting a glance over to where you were sitting with your back turned to not look conspicuous, “That chick’s in love with me. Watch.” Steve turned his head back and just as he did, you whipped around almost on command to try and catch a glimpse of him with that needy look in your eyes like a lost puppy. Unbelievable. Of course, all the guys besides Steve immediately turned towards you and made eye contact. Faced with this, you were a deer in the headlights, and quickly returned to your food.

Bam chuckled, a sly grin spreading across his lips, “Dude, if she’s got the hots for you that bad, you gotta get that ass!” He spoke as if he was some experienced playboy, but he had no clue. It’s not just about sex- there was a lot more to whatever it was that was going on between Steve and the makeup girl. When broken down, the two of you really wanted the exact same thing, the only difference was that she was too shy to admit it and he wasn’t. It evolved into a hunt- a cat and mouse game. This was more than getting ass. “Whatever, Bam.” Steve rolled his eyes. Ryan leaned to one side to get a better look at you, “Oh yeah- you gotta tap that.” Johnny cracked up at his bluntness and Pontius simply shoveled a bite of food into his mouth, flipping Steve a thumbs up.

You knew it was in violation of your contract but something you weren't proud of inside you compelled you to do it. On the lazy afternoons you weren't doing makeup but you were still on the clock, you found yourself snooping around the set in hope of getting a glimpse of Steve. It wasn't a tall order to blend in with the nameless PAs and set people, so you mostly went unnoticed, ducking behind corners and slipping into empty dressing rooms. Every time you saw Steve chatting with the guys with a beer in hand, or in the middle of a stunt if you were lucky, you had to hold yourself back from giggling like a teenage girl. However, it wasn't always that easy to get your fix.

This routine went on without any hiccups for about a week before a problem was presented. Filming was outside for a stunt involving the Three 6 Mafia, but the dense summer heat was pushed completely out of your mind as you peeked out from behind a white trailer. There, in front of all the cameras, was Dave, Bam, and Steve, filming some bit where Dave eats horse shit. All vomiting aside, the only thing you could see was how cute Steve looked in the little farmer’s outfit that the costume department whipped up. Sweat glistened on his skin under the midday sun as he took off his straw hat, using it to fan himself. It’s rare for a guy to be able to pull off the overalls no shirt look, but he certainly could. Damn.

But just as you were thinking about how you wouldnt mind shucking his corn, you accidentally made eye contact with Bam. Oh shit. There wasn't a way in hell that he didn’t see you. You hadn’t even noticed that you were steadily creeping out from your hiding place until you were far from the safety of the trailer wall, so, acting on prey animal instincts, you ducked behind the nearest object.

“Hmm?” It was only then that you noticed what you ducked behind was a man- Ryan, to be specific. God, if this could get any worse. Drink in hand, he just raised an eyebrow, looking down at the strange scene- you, crouching behind his foldy chair, “Makeup lady?” Oh, you were screwed. You could feel your fingers go numb as you panicked, your fight or flight instincts kicking in as you skirted away, your heart beating out of your chest. Ryan shrugged, taking a sip of his beer.

It was embarrassing how flustered you got around Steve but you just couldn’t help it. You had a lot of time to mull over it before you came into work the next day and it was apparent; something had to happen or else you were sure you would spontaneously combust. The tension was killing you, but there was no way he’d pay you any mind. Immagine a celebrity like him dating- hell, going on a date- with some makeup artist he met on set. Be reasonable, you thought, cleaning off your brushes idly.

Steve strutted into the makeup trailer, cool as ever, “Hey! How’s my favorite girl doin’?” Your knees felt a little weak under you at his words, holding yourself up with one hand on the back of the chair as he sat down. His favorite. No, no, he didn’t mean it like that. No way he would. “I’m, uh- I’m good, yeah.” You hardly noticed the smirk on his lips as you hurried to distract yourself, busying your hands with your brushes to still their nervous shaking. This was not what you needed this early in the morning.

Suddenly, time froze as you heard the hard thwack of your elbow against the side of Steve’s face. Your jaw fell and you stumbled over your words, hurriedly apologizing at your absentmindedness, “O-oh my god! I am so sorry- I can’t believe-“ He was still a little stunned, the mark on his face reddening, when you realized that you had instinctively reached out, gently touching the soreness on his perfect cheekbone out of concern without realizing what you were doing. It was like lightning shot through your fingertips, traveling up your arm, and your face said it all. Steve just smiled that cute, boyish smile, making eye contact for just a second longer than a person normally would, “Hey, it’s cool. I don’t mind.” You felt the tips of your ears get hot as he winked at you, “But hell, you of all people know how’t touch it up.”

Taking a deep breath, you pushed down all your nerves as you cleared your throat and tried to sound confident as you grabbed something to cover up your blunder, “I really liked your performance yesterday.” It was a vain attempt at small talk, sure, but it was something. He looked up at you, “Oh, did you?” There was a funny tone in Steve’s voice- sweet and kinda teasing- that gave you butterflies in your stomach and made you wonder if you were really as sneaky as you thought you were being, “What part did’y like? The puking or me shovin’ stuff in my ass?”

God, how he laughed when Steve saw how embarrassed you got. Stuttering a bit, you tried to come up with an explanation, but he just waved you off, “Ah, I’m just fuckin’ with ya. But I mean, if you wanna watch sometime,” The euphemism wasn't lost on you and he could practically see the thoughts running through your head as he continued, “I could bring you to check out the set sometime.” All you could do was nod. Oh, he knew. And the worst part was he didn’t care.

Steve chuckled as you practically led him around the set. It was like you knew the place because, well, you did, but he pretended not to know about your little stalker activities. While you were busy, Jeff came up and tapped him on the shoulder, “Hey, dude. Rick needs you- something about that rake jump stunt.” And when you looked back from ogling some camera equipment, Steve was gone.

But from across the set, you met eyes with Chris who smiled at you with that dopey grin you’d seen so many times on tv. One week in and you were still getting starstruck. He walked over to you, striking up a conversation, “Hey, Y/N! You know what I heard?” Chris leaned in towards you like he was gonna tell you a secret, shooting a nod towards Steve as he was walking away, “I heard he’s awesome in bed. I mean, that’s what I’ve heard from the ladies.” You could tell that Chris saw this as a perfectly normal conversation topic, but you still got a little flustered, “O-oh, he is?” Chris nodded.

Sitting on camping chairs under one of those fold out tents you see at barbecues, Johnny and Bam watched from afar, cracking open cans of Miller High Life. Bam turned his head to one side like a dog, peering around Chris’ shoulder, “Looks like Pontius is tryin’t steal Steve’s girl.” Johnny chuckled, bringing his can to his lips, “Once he gets his claws in her there’s no way he’ll get her back. We oughta’ go interviene.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a blur of two men who you recognized as Johnny and Bam. Chris waved, “Oh, hey guys! We were just talking about how great Steve is in bed!” He gave Bam a nod, “Isn’t that right?” His eyes went wide for a second before he caught on, “Oh, yeah! He’s, uh- he’s great.” Johnny quirked an eyebrow from behind his sunglasses, “Have you slept with him, Bam?” It was like a Three Stooges bit as Bam rushed to cover his ass, putting his hands up, “No- no! I mean, I heard that he was good.”

“I mean, I’d get it from Chris, but I never expect that from you.” Ignoring Johnny’s teasing, he reached out a hand to you at the perfect time to formally introduce himself, “Hey, I’m Bam. I really like girls.” Eyes wide at all the action that was suddenly happening around you, you just nodded. You couldn’t decide if this was him hitting on you or not when you felt a protective hand on your shoulder as someone spoke from behind you, “Okay, guys. Get lost.” Jumping a little, you turned around and might as well have leapt ten feet off the ground. It was Steve. All the guys joked and dispersed as he spun you around, turning you to face him and that smile that always got to you, “They didn’t say anything bad about me, did they?” You fiddled with one of your nails, looking anywhere but his face as you joked back to try and ease the tension, “Oh, on the contrary!”

Steve smiled, leaning a little bit closer to you as the low tone of his voice slipped into nearly a whisper, “I’m gonna be honest with ya, Y/N. I really like ya.” The way that he could just go out there and say that with such confidence made you break a sweat, and you were practically glued to the ground you stood on as he nearly whispered into your ear, “Let’s get drinks sometime, yeah?” All you could do was nod in response.

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

So Yuu starts copying anything the monster students do, imagine Yuu licking their drunk the same way cats/dogs do because they saw other students doing the same

The idea of Yuu/mini!Yuu unconsciously/consciously mimicking the others fills me with such giddiness, because I remember I used to try and mimic different animals as a kid. Nibbling on any cracker in as many tiny bites as possible whether it was a saltine/Cheez-it/goldfish cracker? Picked that up from watching hamsters/mice/squirrels/chipmunks eating their food. Sometimes I still do it every now and then. XD Walking on the tips of my toes? As a kid I wanted to walk as elegantly as a cat does…which–now that I think about it–might explain why I hardly make a sound these days whenever I walk and accidentally scare the life out of people. Heck, I would often “gallop” like a horse (or at least in my mind I was, though it likely looked like some weird hop-skip). Don’t even get me started on how I’d always run up the stairs on all fours like a dog or hopped like a kangaroo around the yard!

Ah, humans. Such an adorably silly species~!

I guess it really depends on the Yuu, but one thing that’s certain is that the longer they spend around the monsters, the more likely they’ll pick up on some habits here and there. It’s part of human nature to adopt behaviors from those they spend a lot of time around, so they could adopt: Riddle’s habit of following the rules, Lilia’s habit of sneaking up on others and scaring them, or even Idia’s skittish nature. The possibilities are nearly endless! With mini!Yuu though…

Deuce: “Hey, Ace. Since we’re watching Yuu today, Trey made a fresh batch of cookies for us! I managed to get a few, though only if I promised to make sure Yuu brushes their teeth.”

Ace: “Score!” *takes one and starts nibbling on it, scrolling through his phone while humming* “Let’s see…c’mon, where is it?”

Deuce: “Still looking for that photo?”

Mini!Yuu: *looking between the two and watches Ace, taking small nibbles on their cookie while glancing at him every now and then*

Cater: *walks in and notices this while Ace and Deuce are talking, stifling laughter as he hits record* “Oh, Seven, this is priceless!”

/Later/

Riddle: *carrying books and trotting along outside*

Mini!Yuu: *trying to keep up and doing their own bounce/trot with a look of concentration*

Deuce: *comes trotting along in the opposite direction*

Mini!Yuu: *tries to turn and follow him at a trot and trips* “Ow!”

Deuce: “Huh? Oh!! Are you okay?!”

/Lunch Period/

Epel: *pours juice into cups for the other first years and mini!Yuu* “Here you go! My folks sent me some apple juice from their stock. I think you’ll like this, Yuu!”

Grim: “Oooh, it smells so good~!” *tilts cup and starts lapping at it like a cat, purring happily*

Mini!Yuu: *stops before they use the straw and watching Grim for a moment before trying to copy him, tilting the glass too far and spilling some juice on their shirt*

Ace: “Pfft…what are you doing, Yuu? Trying to copy Grim now?”

Grim: “Huh? Oooh, haha! Of course the human wants to mimic the Great Grim! Who wouldn’t want to be like me~?”

Jack: “Well…so long as they don’t copy any bad behaviors from you.”

/Outside/

Mini!Yuu: *finds a normal yet pretty looking rock on the ground and tries to eat it*

Sebek: “Human!! Put that stone down this instant!!”

Mini!Yuu: *runs off with the rock*

Ace: *chasing after them* “Dammit, Grim! Why’d they have to pick up that habit from you?!”

Grim: “Hey! Those black rocks were delicious, so don’t go blaming me!”

Deuce: “Yuu! Come on, give me the ro–oh no! No no no no, spit it out! You’ll choke on it!”

In the end, Epel managed to trade the stone for a tasty apple, leaving the first years feeling both relieved and more vigilant about watching what Yuu tries to think is food the next time. At least they didn't get in trouble with the staff!

[oftlunarialmoon]

5 Fun Ideas for Your Agere/Littlespace Bag!

Ciao lovelies! Before I begin, I’d like to thank one of you lovelies, named Isobel, for the suggestion behind this post! I am slowly working my way through the requests currently in the blog post request form, but don’t let that discourage any of you from sharing your requests! ^-^ and thanks for the patience on that so far! In today’s post, to answer Isobel’s request for something related to an agere bag, I will be sharing 5 fun ideas for your agere/littlepace bag! Including decoration ideas, things to pack within, and some subtle/discreet regression ideas too! I hope you like this post, and let’s get into it!

Once again, thank you Isobel for this suggestion! 

I know many of my fellow age regressors / littles out there can’t openly be themselves for fear of judgment or bullying, so a lot of you have to be discreet or subtle about your littlespace. I wish we could live in a world that’s more open and accepting to everyone, but for now, this list has some discreet regression suggestions for you ! Let me know if you’d like to see more ideas like that in the future!

5 Fun Ideas for Your Agere/Littlespace Bag!

IDEA #1: Personalize / Decorate a Plain Backpack!

there are many other ways to make your agere bag unique! You could use patches, buttons, keychains, fabric paint….there’s a lot you can do with a plain backpack! For those worried about being discreet, you can always explain a cute bag as kawaii or alternative fashion inspired, and doubly so if you use fandom decorations from shows you like when small! :)

Your bag would be super personal to you, and also shows your secret little side~!

Now let’s move to some ideas of items that can be packed in your bag for discreet regression! 

IDEA #2: Subtle Babey Snacks!

It’s super easy to bring along snacks like fruit snacks, goldfish, bite size muffins, etc, and these can double as regression snacks! 

I personally like goldfish, fruit snacks, and scooby snacks! (Scooby snacks are also good for those of you who pet regress!)

You can take this a step further with cute or kawaii food storage containers, or just tupperware that you can cover with stickers!

IDEA #3: Personalize your Devices!

So you could get a cute phonecase , which is an easy and cute way to feel little, but you could also personalize your phone or mp3 player with things like cute stickers on the outside! AND, now with the iphone updates, you could customize the icons in your phone, lockscreen images, etc! :) You could even make your passcode a secret reference to a small time show you like !!

Another thing you can do is DIY a cute case for your phone out of felt! Check out THIS DIY from OFT’s past where I made a cute cat pouch for your device!

IDEA #4: Tiny Toys! 

Okay, this is a little less subtle, but you can bring small toys or minifigures in your small bag! It may feel a little uncomfortable to do so at first, but you can give a lot of reasons for this!

Possible explanations for toys in your bag:

“I have a job as a babysitter after school and these are for the kids there.”

“I am an ameteur photographer and I like using these for practice.”

“I thought these looked cute and possibly would make nice fidget toys”

“I like to have something in my hands when I focus”

Etc, but you can also just give a simple:

“I think they’re cool.” 

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for the things you like, and you don’t need to be ashamed. What you share with others is your business, and your business only!

IDEA #5: Cute Memo Pads!

This is a fun one, because it can be so easily explained and can add this awesome moment of cuteness and secret smallness to your day! A lot of people carry memo pads or to-do lists, and it’s not unusual to have cute ones! You can even pair this up with a kawaii pen or pencil, and it’s totally normal, and flies easily under everyone’s radar. Kawaii stationery has been a common interest for a while, so it won’t make anyone suspicious.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this, Isobel, and everyone else as well!

And now the most important part: please remember to stay AWESOME and LOVE yourself!! You are epic, awesome, and amazing, and you deserve to know this each and every day! Be sure to give yourself positive affirmation each and every day! 

I’ll see you in the next post, video, or whatever comes next!

[godneuteredmeforbeingtoopowerful]

CW: discussions of child neglect, food policing, abusing autistic children, fatshaming

I’ve always been confused why I have food insecurity trauma behaviors, but my family has always had the privilege of having enough food and money and whatever else. I was reflecting on this with one of my partners this morning, and realized that my parents had a lot of rules around eating that other people… didn’t? So I wanted to share some of them and… idk. I just don’t want to feel alone. Also, understanding that I am (undiagnosed as a child) autistic with sensory issues that sometimes explode into ARFID, is vital to this conversation and adds a whole other layer. Again, CW ahead.

We always had ingredients, not pre-prepared meals. And you couldn’t eat things bc they were an ingredient

Things like cheese you could snack on but you could only have a little. If you’re hungry, eat a fruit or a vegetable (notoriously some of the worst things for textural sensory issues.)

Pre-packaged snacks have a purpose- if we’re leaving the house, or if you want to take one to school. You may have one snack after school, but there’s a specific amount you’re allowed to have, and it cannot be pre-packaged. I was banned from goldfish for a period of years bc I kept ignoring the rule with it. (I was unwittingly self-medicating for POTS, because it was the saltiest thing I was allowed. The diagnosis came years later.)

Sugar was evil. I could have it several times a week, but only as dessert. I had no say in what dessert was or when. If I asked for it, the answer would automatically be no. Breakfast cereal, one of my only safe foods that I could count on, was not allowed to contain more than 8-9 grams of sugar. That ruled out things like fruity pebbles, my favorite cereal. Occasionally this rule would be broken for things like Golden Grahams, because my dad liked them, but not for anything else unless it was a special occasion.

If you miss your time slot during the day, you just don’t get that thing: i.e. snack time is from 3-4pm. If you don’t eat then, you can’t eat until dinner at 6. No food after dinner. No food between 8am and noon. No food between 1 and 3. This schedule was only allowed to deviate if mom deviated from it.

Also, if you don’t like what’s been prepared for a meal, too bad. Eat it or eat nothing.

In a similar vein, if you don’t eat all of your lunch at school, the leftovers are now your snack after school the next day so mom can watch you eat it. It was supposed to teach me to eat all my food at school. Instead I just learned to throw food away.

Foods other kids got a lot, we didn’t really. They were only for car trips or birthdays, so a few times a year. Things like chips, soda, cracker jacks, etc.

Since safe foods were policed so heavily, I learned to eat a shit ton when I could, so I could make it through potentially not eating anything else substantial until the next day, or even several days. This was usually breakfast cereal, which was guaranteed, and snack time food, which was usually something like popcorn or peanut butter celery (which I did like) or pretzels or yogurt. Hated trail mix and granola bars with a passion. This got me consistently criticized for “eating like a pig” or “wasting food” or “eating up money” when I would have 2 bowls of cereal for breakfast, especially in middle school and high school. But if I wasn’t really eating anything else during the day, and I ran out of energy from those 2 bowls by 10am, what else was I supposed to do but take it?

There was also a lot of competition for getting ahold of my safe foods when they were in the house- because I have 3 siblings. So I grew a habit of stealing and hoarding food in my room- even though that was strictly forbidden. I got busted often, but I was fucked otherwise. Or when we had things like pizza for dinner or other safe foods, I’d have several helpings (consequently getting fatshamed) because I wouldn’t know when I’d have a pleasant sensory experience again, or when I’d get to really eat again.

Also, had to clean my plate whenever I complained about dinner. Think I got bungee corded to the chair once. Had to sit at the dinner table past my bedtime a few times because the lasagna or avocado was too much and I’d puke. And then get verbally abused for it. They stopped that with my siblings. They were allowed to have pb&j after eating 3 bites, but only pb&j. What I would have given for that when I was a kid.

Anyway. Any solidarity is unfortunate but appreciated. A bit sobering now that it’s all listed out like that.

[a-random-fan4444]

Hockey Stick brainrot is real. Have some ramblings! :D

(Also thank you so much to every single person whose rebloged, liked, or commented on my Hockey Stick stuff!!! 💕💕💕)

Part 1 | Part 2

Quick summary on “Hockey Stick”: Casey jr gets an emotional support animal, but the emotional support animal is Brother Kraang in disguise. Junior names his pet Hockey Stick.

———————————————————

Casey Jr on the pet forums. His posting history is along the lines of:

“Is it normal for my pet to try to kill anyone who visits my apartment?”

“Is it normal for my pet to screech at midnight?”

“Do animals have a sense of morality?”

And respondes of:

“Yes, my own dog and cat have been acting similarly skittish since the alien invasion. Your pet just wants to protect you. I’d advice slowly introducing new friends to your pets, like through scent! Hope this helps.”

“Yes, all animals do this. I had a little mouse who was silent as well, a mouse, during the day but at night screeched like a banshee. The only insistence where this would be considering not normal is if your pet was a fish.”

“No, people may try and fool you into thinking it’s just cats that lack morality, BUT THEY’RE WRONG!!! My brother’s fish was planning to drown me, I don’t have proof BUT I KNOW I’M RIGHT!!!”

———————————————————

Hockey Stick being scared of the vacuum, Hockey Stick being afraid of the vacuum, Hockey Stick being afraid of the-NO WAIT! Both Casey Jr and HockeyStick being scared of the vacuum!!!

The sound the vacuum makes reminds them both too much of the sound the portal to the Prison Dimension made when it closed.

April has on more than one occupation vacuumed Casey Jr apartment while he and HockeyStick (hidden in Casey Jr’s hoodie as to not be spotted) hissed at her from the top of the fridge. Both have ear muffs on (HockeyStick’s mini earmuffs were provided by Mikey).

———————————————————

Both are discovering what it means to be “normal” by human standards.

Casey Jr adjusting to being in a world where he isn’t constantly on survival mode. Where his normal actions are now “paranoid activity”

Brother Kraang not existing in a dimension that’s nothing but vast emptiness and rubble. Pretending to be a normal part of a world that has a lot of biodiversity in comparison to the prison dimension.

Both are experiencing the beauty of planet Earth for the first time, and the joy of just being able to simply enjoy existing for the first time. (•,n,•) I’m making myself emotional.

AND both feel alone because their families are just out of reach!

Casey Jr’s family doesn’t exist anymore, the present version of them will never become the versions of the family who raised him.

Meanwhile Brother Kraang knows his siblings are alive and where they are, but he can’t do anything to free them.

———————————————————

Other Random Detail:

Casey Jr lives in the same apartment complex as Draxum and April.

The name “Hockey Stick” was a suggestion from Casey, she had a goldfish in her childhood named Hockey Puck.

Hockey Stick when first taken in by Junior was the size of a stuffed bear, but is slowly getting back to his regular size.

Brother Kraang despises all animals, they have very good intuition so they attack him on sight.

———————————————————

Little Plot Bunnies, Specifically the Kraang & EPS:

Prime Kraang and Sister Kraang know each other to be alive. They don’t know if Brother Kraang is alive.

Sister Kraang spends her time imprisoned thinking about how she’s gonna torture the turtles. Specifically how she’ll torture them in front of each other, making them give up any information of where her brother is. She misses her psychotic little brother.

Speaking of, the EPF (Earth Protection Force), is looking for “The Infector” (Kraang Brother). They have “The Destroyer” (Kraang Sister), and know that Kraang Prime has somehow been exiled from Earth.

Yes, the EPF can get Kraang Prime’s name right but not the other two. Sister Kraang doesn’t plan on correcting them anything soon.

Honestly I could do a whole spin off on Kraang Sister’s side of the story. While “HockeyStick” is getting belly rubs and napping, Sister Kraang is setting new records for how long a security guard can last before pleading with their superiors for a transfer.

———————————————————

And Finally, Art Time:

Casey Jr with HockeyStick (What are they looking at? 👀)

Brother Kraang shifting into his animal form for the first time.

[lukkabloom]

Fun facts abt residents according to Ikevamp Radio (ヴァンなま) Part 5

The last post of this series, featuring episodes 13-15!! Let's get on with it!!

Episode 13: feat. Dazai’s VA Yashiro Taku

Makki messed up his lines a bit so he said “Subas” instead of “Sebas” (so cute)

Dazai’s happy that Vincent enjoys baths

Dazai baths a bit earlier than them, that’s why they don’t usually meet

Dazai’s writing a novel about a “married woman and a blossoming love and desire—” Sebas: “Nonononono! Stop!” bc it got too out of control

Sebas: “Master Vincent’s here, so let’s keep it at the same level as an educational children’s TV show” Vincent: “were we so strict about it here?”

Dazai agrees to answer some questions for Sebas & Vincent as they were curious about him

Vincent first asks him what the object he hung in the entrance where it makes ringing noises when the wind blows it. Sebas: “Rather than Dazai-san’s personality, you’re more interested in that, huh?” Vincent: “well, it was really pretty, so I got curious” Dazai teaches that it’s a windchime, tells him that it allows people to enjoy the summer with both their eyes and ears

Vincent got curious abt ways Japanese ppl spend their summers

Dazai says he used to watch fireworks, look out at the sea, eat shaved ice. Dazai asks Sebas if he’s done something similar, Sebas replies “Yes, I’ve also gone out to watch firework tournaments (花火大会). When I was in Japan, I’d wear a yukata and go out to watch them” Sebas also enjoyed caramel-apples and goldfish-scooping (金魚すくい)"

Dazai: “It may seem normal, but Sebas has had a childhood as well, huh?” Vincent: “Really. Sebas didn’t become Sebas as soon as he was born…” Sebas: “...what do the two of you think I am?”

Dazai explained that the best part of the fireworks tournament is the atmosphere. The sound of fireworks and the geta (shoes you wear w/yukatas), the enthusiasm of the happy individuals, and most importantly, women wearing yukatas. Vincent: “Yukata… It’s what you typically wear, a type of clothing in Japan, right?”

Dazai: “Women in yukatas are especially good. The skin you can see from their hair raised up, and their skin lightly coated in sweat—” Sebas: “Nonononono—”

Dazai: “... are you excited?” Sebas: “...yes” Dazai: “Oh, you are excited.” Sebas: “A little bit” Dazai: “So even Sebas can get excited” Sebas: “the topic of the conversation ended up a bit off, so I had to put a stop to it”

Dazai: “Even for Sebas, don’t you have a favorite yukata for women?” Sebas: “Let’s see… for women’s yukata, I like a dark blue color. Also, I prefer when the hair is tied loosely near the ends. I also really enjoy it when they fix a loose strand of hair…” Vincent: “Umm.. Sebas?” Sebas: gasps “I apologize. However, Master Vincent must also have a color that you’d like a woman to wear?”

Vincent: “Hmm… I think any color would fit, but probably bright colors would fit the most.”

Dazai likes graceful (?) colors like a deep purple to contrast the color of their skin, make them look prettier

Taku is really good at drawing?? In the “Van Gogh’s drawing section” the VAs had to draw in the theme of “Ikemen Vampire light novel! By Dazai Osamu” and Taku drew (the real) Dazai & it was really well-drawn?? (Dazai draws Dazai haha)

“Can you tell me… your name?” segment comin up!! First up is Vincent! His options were “It’s really hot… let’s just take everything off” “Since it’s hot… do you want to take a shower together?” “I can make you forget about the heat” “Hm? The thing in my mouth? It’s ice. You want it?” The chosen line was the last one. After saying his line for the last time, he continued “Here. Ahhh~” (listening to it when it’s winter was kinda counter-intuitive but… it was nice ig)

Dazai’s options were “If you’re hot, why don’t you take off your clothes?” “We can reenact that passionate night that will make us forget about the heat” “You don’t like the heat? Then, you can spend the time with me until the season becomes cooler” and 4, which is a combination of all three (Which was the one selected)

His voice is so good??? “(y/n), it was a really hot night. Until it cools off—no. Can you stay here with me forever?” He actually said his lines properly unlike Morishi and Makki so it was even more amazing 

And Sebas’s options HERE WE GO “You need guts… to go in saunas” “Do you want to start a chilled Sebas?” “I can make you feel cooler. *insert terrible pun* (吸血鬼のお尻が９個で９ケツなんちゃって)” (I can’t translate the pun itself bc it wouldn’t make sense, but just know that it’s a pun involving vampires and 9 butts lol) and option 4, “Even when you’re struggling in the heat… you look beautiful” The chosen one was the second option “Do you want to start a chilled Sebas?

There were two funny options (options 2 & 3) I didn’t know which was gonna be chosen

Anyways there was “Yoshihiko, do you want to start a chilled Sebas?” Makki: “Yes, please” the last one he said was “(y/n), do you want to start?” and the others were like “start what??”

Episode 14: Vincent & Sebas w/an audience once again

This happened at the time of Ikevamp 1st anniversary, this episode celebrates this event

They also talk about the 1st Ikevamp election & the rewards players get when each resident completes a certain goal (place within a certain ranking, gets more votes than a certain character, etc.) Makki and Morishi create their own goals for the election too.

For Morishi, if Sebas places within 10th overall, Makki and Morishi will do the radio while drinking. For Makki, if Vincent gets first, he plans to telephone an audience member live during the radio

Very unrelated but you can tell Morishi really knows his game knowledge since he knows what blanc was, as well as the ikevamp 1st anniversary song when it played in the background

The theme of this episode’s “I love yu” segment is “Thank you, and please take care of me from now on too”

Sebas was already in the baths when Vincent entered, he said he’s been waiting for Vincent for the past three hours Sebas: “I was conversing with the audience, and before I knew it, three hours had passed” 

Vincent: “Audience? We’re in front of an audience? When we’re naked?” Sebas: cough “W-well… please don’t worry about that”

Vincent & Sebas reminisce about the time they had spent in the baths together (April Fool’s w/Leo, Sasuke entering the bath w/them, turning into idols)

Vincent asks who Sebas has been talking to, Sebas replies, “Don’t worry about that, my angel”

Vincent says that he’s been enjoying his time w/Sebas in the baths, but he’s worried that he’s relying on him too much. His solution? To change bathing times with Sebas

Sebas is shocked. “My oasis… is about to disappear… Lost on Eden… Master Vincent, I won’t record your voice or take pictures of your angel smile or shiver and shiver because I want to see you! So please! Please! Rethink your decisions…”

Vincent says it was all a joke. Wanted to scare Sebas for a bit, and apologizes for scaring him

Sebas is relieved & forgives Vincent. Vincent admits that he likes spending time w Sebas, to which Sebas agrees.

Sebas keeps referencing the audience, Vincent: “Hey, Sebas? You’re seeing things that I can’t see, right?”

The next segment is the “Ikevamp radio 1st anniversary awards” The first award is the “best guest awards” with the nominations being Tsuda Kenjiro (Leo’s VA), Sato Hisanori (Theo’s VA), Yashiro Taku (Dazai’s VA), Horie Kazuma (Comte’s VA), and Morishima Syuta (Sebas’s VA). Ofc Morishi won that category

2nd award is the “Best Drawing awards” the winning drawing is “Movie ‘Love promised under the cherry blossoms~my love is always full bloom~’ PR poster by Makki”

3rd category is the “Best Word Award” with the winning word being dyungyun (obv). In happiness with his word winning the category, Morishi performs voice percussion

No “Can you tell me… your name?” segment today :((

Episode 15: The last episode I can get my hands on…

Morishi wants to go on a vacation trip w Makki. Makki asks him where he wants to go, to which Morishi replies, Paris, the Louvre Museum.

Makki: “What will we be doing there?” Morishi: “Going to the Louvre, looking at some paintings, then opening the door. And then be like ‘What? When I opened the door, there are 12 historical geniuses…?' And we’ll stay there, just the two of us” Makki: “No, I don’t want to!”

Morishi: “I think it’ll be a while until the two of us actually go on a trip together. It would be more realistic if Sebas and Vincent did instead. So! Scenario-writer! Please write about a situation where Sebas and Vincent go on a trip together! And Yamada Shiro-sensei! Please draw an illustration like that as well!”

They announced the winners of the Ikevamp election that happened that year & the merch/events released to celebrate certain characters’ poll victories

“I love yu” skit! Starts off w Sebas saying “Sigh, it already ended. The Ikevamp election. Oops, I shouldn’t be thinking like that. Ta-da! (in a Doraemon-like voice) Historical genius observation journal! I need to note the other’s excellence here. Just like usual, Master Napoleon was very courageous, and Master Leonardo was as sexy as usual. Sorry, my angel, Master Vincent was an angel as always—”

Vincent: opens the door “Who. Is. An. Angel?” Sebas: “Master Vincent?” Vincent: “Really, I’ve been drawing all day, and I’m so exhausted” (he says this is a rough tone) “Sebas, I’m going in, so I need you to move to make space for me” Sebas: “oh, o-okay”

Vincent: “The temperature’s a bit lukewarm, so it’s not that satisfying. Well, I’ll let you off the hook for this one” Sebas: “Master Vincent? What happened to you? It seems you have a different tone than usu—” Vincent: “It’s just a part of your imagination, Sebas!” Sebas: “Yes! Of course!”

Sebas asks what’s happened to Vincent, asking if he got into a bloody argument w Theo. Vincent replies “We don’t get into arguments! That’s uncool!” 

Sebas asks if Vincent’s hit his head somewhere. “If that’s true then, I need to take him to a doctor—” Vincent: “I need you to leave me alone!” Sebas: gasps “Master Vincent?”

Vincent: “From now on, I’m going to change.” Sebas: “Change?” Vincent: “Yeah. I’ll keep on going on a bike that I stole from who-knows-where and break the windows of the school at night and I won’t be manipulated by the adults! (It’s basically what delinquents [ヤンキー] in Japan used to do)”

Sebas: “Why do you say things like Ozaki Yutaka and Keyakizaka46? That isn’t like you, the great angel Vincent—” Vincent: “If you keep on calling me ‘great angel,’ it’ll only make me upset!”

Sebas: “Master Vincent’s—Master Vincent’s ‘idiot’ (ドアホ). I don’t know what happened to you, but please open your eyes. Take this! Perverted butler, Sebastian’s forehead flick of love!” Vincent: “Gah! O-ow… Huh? I—”

Vincent: “Sorry about that Sebas… It seems I lost myself.”

Sebas asks what had happened, Vincent promises Sebas that he wouldn’t laugh at him. Vincent: “I-I wanted to be a different self. Do you remember the one event where we asked who she (MC) likes? Hearing the results of it, I wanted to be more liked by her… so...”

Sebas: “Master Vincent, please listen carefully. What if I had wondered the same thing you had, and become like Master Arthur, saying ‘Hey, can I kiss you?’ (in Arthur's tone) What would you think about me?” Vincent: “I would think it’s very repulsive.” 

Sebas: “Of course. Or like Master Shakespeare ‘I would like you to dance on my stage in the theatre’ (in Shakespeare's tone) What would you think about that?” Vincent: “I would think it’s very scary”

Sebas then tells Vincent that he understands his desire to change, but does she (MC) actually wish for that? I think she likes Vincent as is.

Discovered that there’s a Ikevamp LINE stamp and honestly it looks pretty good link here (idk if I would ever use it considering I only ever text my family members... lol imagine sending a sticker of Isaac to your parents haha)

Because Sebas got more votes than 1 suitor, Morishi will do ikevamp radio while drinking (sad that I couldn’t find the episode) they were planning to drink the blanc that will be released soon

No "Can you tell me... your name" segment im sad

And... that's the last episode!!! I'm really happy that many people enjoyed reading this as much as I did when I watched & wrote this. I'll be looking for more of these radios & in the future I'll see if I can write things similar to this as well. Anyways I hope everyone has an amazing rest of your day/night :))