#i feel like there's more im forgetting but nothing comes to mind atm

[lord-squiggletits]

Reasons why I don't buy into "posh, aristocratic, and/or bigot Pharma" headcanons

Listed in no particular order, mostly prompted by a conversation with a mutual (that I've also had many times in the past with other mutuals)

For some reason people assume that being a flight frame is what would make Pharma so prideful and disdainful towards everyone else? But in IDW1 canon, flight frames are actually an oppressed class who were restricted by functionism to only be allowed to be soldiers or cargo lifters. The only flight frames who got to go outside of that mold were ones who got special exemptions (Jetfire) or ones who schemed and took advantage of politics (Starscream). If anything, being a flight frame would be a source of self-consciousness/annoyance for Pharma, since he would be seen as unusual and probably get constant "wow I didn't know flight frames could be doctors" type comments that single him out because of his body and not because of his actual skill or personality. It's possible that he might be proud of being a flight frame AND being a doctor, like being so good of a doctor that being a flight frame doesn't matter. But Pharma certainly wouldn't feel prideful or entitled to anything JUST for being a flight frame.

Re: bigoted and/or functionist Pharma: I think this headcanon comes from the fact that Pharma worked at the New Institute yes, but so did other characters such as Chromedome, Rung, and Brainstorm who are neither posh nor functionists. It seems rather unfair to assume that Pharma specifically must be a functionist or hate the lower class because he worked at the New Institute, when other characters who were in the exact same situation weren't presumed to be bigots just because they worked at a shitty place. Also as my point above states, why would Pharma be a functionist when functionism is the institution that would've kept him from being a doctor if he (presumably) wasn't forged with medic hands?

Speaking of bigotry, it's canon that Pharma and Ratchet were best friends since they worked at the DMF together, which was pre-war; how in the hell would it be in-character for Ratchet to be best friends with Pharma if he was an open bigot and a functionist? Ratchet would literally never. Plus, secondarily, Pharma is canonically in love with Ratchet, so if he were some sort of posh aristocrat, it'd be pretty odd for him to be best friends and shack up with a guy that's as down-to-earth and rude as Ratchet is. Not impossible, but for me personally, it counts as a mark against posh!Pharma because I think the fact that Pharma was best friends with Ratchet means that we can form a broad outline of his personality based on the type of person that Ratchet would like enough to be best friends with.

Pharma's diction and way of speaking isn't "high class" at all. He pretty much speaks like any other "normal" character in MTMTE does, but what's more, there are actually a couple of instances where he speaks in a much more casual and loose way. Little details where he says "coz" instead of "cause/because", uses words like "chap", that time he chainsaws someone and says "Feels rough, doesn't it?" I wouldn't say that Pharma is lower class or anything, but when looking for evidence that he's posh or stuck up, his diction/manner of speaking is a good place to start, but there's really no evidence of any poshness there at all. MAYBE that one time he talks to Ratchet talking about "instruments" and making an analogy between a surgeon and a musician, but in that case he was just using a metaphor to make a point to Ratchet.

In general, the only notable thing about Pharma that anyone talks about related to him (besides "going insane and killing patients") is the fact that he's a good doctor and all the various feats he's pulled off. One would think that if he was some sort of posh bigot, people would complain about it or bring it up when talking about their memories of Pharma, but no. Literally Pharma's primary trait is that he's a hella fucking good doctor. I GUESS you could argue that since a lot of doctors IRL are rich bc they get paid a huge amount of money, that means Pharma is also rich and sees himself as above everyone else, but that seems like a rather large leap to make from what little we know about Pharma. And everything we DO know about Pharma points to the fact that being a doctor was his entire life, and the only specific case where he wants to be seen as "superior" is with regards to Ratchet, another doctor who Pharma feels insecure in comparison to. So again, canon points us to the fact that Pharma really only cares about practicing medicine, and the only person he wants to feel superior to is Ratchet, because Ratchet is a better doctor than he is.

[sunsents]

(I read the tono fic and im literally on my knees for this man rn he’s looks yummy☹️) we need a pt 2 on that beetie, but what if it was him being so rough and aggressive we dont get to see that, him manhandling and corrupting/degrading them whew Lord 🤭

I had the time of my life while writing this because I'm a slut and I want this man to do these exact things to me with no regards to my basic needs. <3 I couldn't really incorporate the corruption I think? I didn't really know how to build up to it 😟 so I'mma practice with my jakey poo, look out for an upcoming drabble

Tonowari - Punishment (M)

read part 1 here

➵ summary: Little plot and pure smut. After your escapade with Tonowari, his neglect tugs at your heartstring. Of course, the Olo'Eyktan is here to soothe your ache and remind you who you belong to.

➵ pairing: tonowari x fem!reader (no use of y/n)

➵ word count: 5.6k (I might have gotten a little carried away with this)

➵ warnings: severe degradation kink/probably age gap/rough ass sex/corruption/dirty talk/cursing/aggression/jealous tonowari/spanking/nudity/sexual intercourse/edging/descriptions of body parts /finger fucking/humping/kissing...and much more I can't remember atm. this work is purely nsfw and not suitable for minors, if you're under the age of 18, DNI

DON’T REPOST MY WORK

➵ vocabulary

syulang - flower

tiyawn - love

yomyo lerik - leaf plate

yawne - beloved

You spend the next few days in bed due to a sore back.

Most would think you pulled something while fishing in the early hours of the morning. Most are wrong, however, as they didn't know about your secret rendezvous with the Olo'eyktan. 

But you couldn't forget. 

How he fucked into your cunt with his thick cock, buried to the hilt and throbbing inside your sensitive walls. How he sat you down on his warm, plush thighs, coaxed your body to press against his chest with sweet whispers and completely engulfed you in his dizzying presence. He'd ask you to hold on tight as he stretched you open - because he knew you could take it. You would take anything he gave you with needy whines and a firm grip that would engrave his touch into your body. 

"You’ve never been touched, have you?" he had asked you, smoothing a hand down your hair, sweetly kissing your temple, slowly pulling you down into a pleasure-ridden world that consisted of nothing but sweaty bodies and heated pants.

As he kissed you tenderly, his hips humped into you like a nantang in heat. "Take it," he would tell you, muffling your mouth with his palm while letting out grunts of pleasure. 

And when he stretched you out specifically to his liking, specifically to be used only by his cock, he was barely satisfied.  "You fit me perfectly now, syulang." was his last whisper before you broke completely, babbling and drooling on his cock with your sopping heat. The rest is a blur, being fucked senseless while he bounced you on his thighs.

It's only when you hear a thump that you snap out of your gaze. "Oh!" you gasp, fishing around the water to find your blade. Your cheeks are flushed because you can feel them, and it's embarrassing enough for you to run a hand over them after dipping your fingers into cold water. You curse under your breath - of course, you can’t reach the blade, because, of course, Eywa is never on your side when it comes to your stubborn crush on Tonowari.

The fish you were cleaning is long forgotten, dropped in your wooden plate to be picked up after you get your bearings straight. The communal fire is bursting with warmth as children dance around and families group to share their food. Though, you’re still quite distant from the shared space. You had opted to get a piece of mind away from all the activity - surely not because you were avoiding the clan Olo’Eyktan. 

It's been exactly a week since you saw Tonowari, and the memories never cease to replay. You clear your throat even though nothing is lodged in it. Nonetheless, you smooth a hand down your hair just like he had done, quickly rinse your fingers in the water again, pull out an old yet sharp blade then continue your filet. 

You hadn’t seen the man all week, and all of a sudden he was commanding your attention by sending you fleeting looks, passing by your frame a little too closely, and gazing into your soul while you tried to enjoy your food in peace. The nerve.

Again, Eywa is barely on your side.

"Need some help?" 

The deep treble of his voice causes you to flinch. Tonowari stands tall in his gorgeous glory with his hands on his hips, adorning hunting garments and his hair tied back in a bun. You see the eclipse constellation on his skin, stretching beautifully over his lithe muscles. A band decorates his firm pecs and enhances his incredibly slim waist that you crave to run your fingers over. His legs stand strong, supporting his mouth-watering frame. You physically feel his authority, trickling down his body and slapping your face. 

You hold back a laugh at the thought - his presence was intense. The thought helps to put your mind at ease, but the quick thumping of your heart commands your attention.

"If it's no trouble," you croak, desperately trying to ignore the lump in your throat. You fail, however, as your voice comes out in a deep rasp. You clear your throat and pat the space next to you. "Please, sit Olo'eyktan."

Tonowari smiles at you warmly before sitting down. You hand him a fish, which he gracefully accepts, then starts the rhythmic movement of his blade. He’s extremely quick in his work - mesmerized, you gawk at his skilled fingers.

With each passing flick, you wait for the man to address the tension between you - because someone has to, and you decide it won’t be you. No, not after he didn’t talk to you for a week, then suddenly plagued your peaceful dinner with his sensual touch and sultry gaze. Taking a deep breath to calm your traitorous heart, you patiently wait for his inquiry. 

One, the scales fly into the water as larger fish nip at them; was he not going to mention that he fucked you raw last week? Two, Tonowari grunts, blade slightly slipping from his wet hands; Eywa, the tension is burning at your skin. Three, you were choking, you could feel it. Your heart was betraying you as it thumped for the Olo'Eyktan.

Four, "So, are we not going to talk about it?" you snap.

Tonowari stills then jerks his beautiful large head (which was fitting to his beautiful large body) to you. "What is there to address?" he mutters, hand resting on his thigh.

"W-well," you clear your throat, suddenly losing all conduct. You're quick to sharpen your tone, "Last week, at your kelku..."

"Oh?”

You hear him swallow before you nod, and his stare darkens with an indecipherable disposition. "And why shall we address it?" he asks, tone rough to match yours.

You have no choice but to abandon your blade and the fish - Eywa bless its poor heart with the way you were fileting it with lust, anger, shame, and excitement all at once. Your ears fold against your head instinctively before you have the chance to control them. It was embarrassing being so clear with your feelings when Tonowari kept a straight face.

"Because," you start, avoiding his gaze. "Right, because..." 

Was he expecting you to tell him, in front of everyone in the clan? Of course, your backs were facing the distant chatter of the people as you sat on a far edge. You were blocked out from their view by a giant tapestry that dated back to the first moons, still, if someone was to peek their head out, they'd see you sitting together.

You shift closer to him, ignoring the thrumming of your heart, then whisper. "Because we did that." 

Even though you didn't say the word, you can't help but flush. It was just so vulgar, and it was the first time you had ever experienced anything so intimate and erotic. You were naive but weirdly enough, knew better. Your act of intimacy with Tonowari was reserved for mates, and you were certain Tonowari never asked to mate with you. 

He chuckles at your humility and your stomach churns. He makes you feel so belittled with his reaction - had your time together been mere seconds in his lust-filled life? The thought brings a pout to your lips before you straighten and manage a neutral expression. Though, Tonowari notices, and he's quick to tease.

"Ah, I see." his coy smile is critical as he speaks in a low, baritone voice. "Did fucking not satisfy you, girl? Is that it?" 

He shuffles close until his plush thigh bumps into yours and the heat of him hugs around your entire being. He’s barely touching you and your body reacts on instinct, craving for him to take you as his munxta. His muscular  arms are not helping your desires whatsoever, looking obscenely huge in contrast to yours. 

"You want me to fuck you nice and slow again? Or do you want me to be rough with you? Can you handle that, syulang?" he leans in, hand inching closer to your thigh. You gasp, unable to control your twitch.

It's too much - his burly frame, his thighs, his sweet whispers. You dart up to your feet, leaving behind a satisfied Tonowari. He looks almost proud at making you feel this embarrassed. Again, the nerve. 

"Olo'eyktan Tonowari, you are needed."

A warrior and good friend of Tonowari's, Zeir, stands tall with a yomyo lerik in his hand. He's chewing on fish as he waits expectantly for his Olo'eyktan.

Your heart hammers loud in your chest. You almost got caught.

If your embarrassment hadn't gotten the better of you, you'd be spread out before Tonowari with his head between your legs, and you’d do nothing to stop your Olo’Eyktan when Zeir, inevitably, encounters the view due to your cravings. 

Humiliation is all you feel as heat spreads through your body. You're red, and Zeir throws you a pointed look. "How sweet," he grins.

Tonowari's head snaps so fast to his friend that you feel obligated to follow his line of sight. Zeir is smiling at you, drinking in your frame because you can feel his eyes on your skin, poking and prodding. 

His gaze isn't unwanted per se, just a surprising development seeing as he never gave you this attention before. You're not complaining, rather, keening at the overwhelming attention you’re getting. It seems after years of curiosity, Eywa was on your side. The noise of complaint Tonowari lets out, however, tells you that Eywa is not on his side. It was delightful to see the roles reversed.

"Zeir, brother, what is so important that you interrupt us," he warns. 

Zeir takes a moment to think about what you assume is a well-strung answer that won't anger the Olo'eyktan. "The people are asking for you, is all." 

Tonowari nods but lingers for a moment longer than necessary. His eyes survey you as he stands up, then strides across the bouncy weaving strung across the open sea. "You," he looks at you, "we are not finished. Stay there."

You gulp, then nod obediently. The sudden change in his demeanor scares you. You didn't know the man enough to comment on his personality, but it was common knowledge that he rarely got angry. He was usually calm and collected, and when something, or someone, was testing his patience, he was calculative in his approach. Many instances where he had taken hunting parties and returned with nothing but fish skin due to the idiocy and naïveté of the young warriors proved this to you. It was almost comical how he listened to Rakxe and Vetsu bicker about who the mightiest fisherman in the clan is while seemingly catching no fish; hands tight, lip a straight line, yet voice surprisingly soft, as if he was explaining the concept of fishing and hunger to a small child. 

Tonowari leaves you alone with Zeir, a fact he forgot to consider in his haste to please the clan. You give Zeir a pointed look that screams, what in Eywa's name are you doing?

"Oh, don't look at me like that." he scoffs, rolling his eyes.

Your lips twitch. "Like what?"

"Like I've done something bad." he tells you, "You and I know both that your little crush will be in vain if you don't do anything."

Your jaw drops at his straightforwardness. "Well," you start, frustrated. "I was in the middle of doing something!"

"Yeah?" he laughs though it's very obviously forced. "It seemed like he was in the middle of rejecting you, or was that just me?"

His words make a pang go through your chest. While his assumption is false (Tonowari was about ready to fuck you nice and deep), it holds some truth. He seeks you out to whisper filthy words and toss you aside when he's satiated, at least that's what you convince yourself. He had merely used your cunt and then disappeared for the entirety of the week. Was he avoiding you, or was he just busy? 

You didn't want that question answered. You were too far gone, and the answer would shatter your heart. 

In your silence, Zeir clears his throat. "Look, Tonowari is very open with his feelings - sometimes they just need a little push...which I'm generously granting you."

You look at him incredulously, "Oh? And how is angering the man helping me?”

Zeir looks at you like you know the answer. "Jealousy!" he snaps.

"No!" you're quick to yell. 

"Yes!" he whines. "I merely looked at you and he was seething like a  hungry palulukan!"

It would be a lie if you said his words didn't make you giddy. Tonowari? Jealous over you? It would only feed into your hope of claiming the strong warrior. You feel tremors rush through your spine at the thought. Now that his words settle in, you're seriously considering his offer. "Okay," you finally decide.

Zeir smirks, then slowly peeks his head through the flap. The bustle is rambunctious, noises filling the open space when the covering is pushed aside. "Uh oh," he quickly rushes to your side, way too close for your liking. "He's coming back. I'm going to put my hand on your waist, and you," he grabs your hands and presses them to your chest. "Act like I made a joke."

The laugh you let out falls on deaf ears as Tonowari returns. You see his face drop into a scowl, then into a look much more dangerous than what you had anticipated. You quickly break away from Zeir and dust yourself off. "You're back."

"What are you doing with her," he seethes through gritted teeth. 

Zeir crosses his arms, "Nothing, just showing her how a real man should be." 

At his comment, Tonowari's eyes turn. He lunges forward and grabs Zeir's neck - you've never seen him this angry before. It's exhilarating. 

"She's mine," he spits, eyes glazed over. His irises have dilated into something much more feral. You see a flash of panic sail through Zeir's eyes before he nods.

"Mine! Don't ever touch her again, I'm warning you brother," he speaks in a low rasp, tail trashing. It's uncontrollable and swats at your hip before thumping on the ground. "If I ever see you even breathe in her direction..."

"What are you going to do about it?" Zeir chuckles nervously. You do feel bad for him, even if it's only for a moment. He suggested this. He suggested that Tonowari harbors feelings toward you. He suggested that Tonowari would get jealous. 

And he was right. 

"Tonowari," you croak out. He dismisses you with a glance, "Don't hurt him."

This seems to set him off. He lets go of the man before rushing towards you. He yanks your hand, then starts pulling you towards his kelku with hurried steps. You look back at Zeir and he grins at you, mouthing told you so. Though before you can reply, The sullen Olo’Eyktan yanks your arm forward which causes you to crash against his warm back. "Stupid girl!" he growls.

Anger drips from his movements; his quick strides, his snapping tail, the way he opens the flap to his kelku and drags you inside with rough force. You're practically flung inside the marui like a doll. And as he paces back and forth, you're regretting your decisions. He was too angry, too uncharacteristic for his serene persona. His ragged breaths alert the flames inside you to burn, scorching your insides and causing you to crave his thick body, warm. He suddenly stops, then snaps his glaring eyes to your face. Thighs rubbing together, you try not to flinch away from his gaze. 

"On your knees." he all but demands. You tilt your head in confusion, was he actually going to punish you? "Are you deaf, girl? On your knees!"

You quickly lower yourself, quivering in excitement. He stops before you’re facing his swollen tewng. The carnal beast inside you rages with desire, screaming at you to grab his kuru and mate him. Mate him, mate him, mate him. 

You’re quick to dismiss her, it’s too soon. Will he even accept you as his? 

He grips your chin, too tight for your liking, and tells you all you need to know. His fingers squeeze your face before roughly tilting your head upwards. "You dirty cock-slut," he spits, and your eyes widen. "Are you going to let every man into your cunt?"

"W-what?" you croak, tears burning your eyes. 

He grips your hair roughly and then pulls. You yelp, having no choice but to hold onto his thigh to not topple back. Tears stream down your face at the humiliation. "You heard what I said. Don't make me repeat myself."

Eywa, what had you gotten yourself into? Your chest hurt from the mortification, but you couldn't deny the desire burning between your legs at his words. He looked at you with such intensity, eyes blown out. You merely croak out a, "No."

A feral growl leaves his lips before he pulls the string for his tewng. His cock springs out, and he looks at you expectantly. "Open,"

When you hesitate, he mushes your cheeks and forces your mouth to open. “Why?” you croak out, though it’s muffled and barely audible. “Tonowari, I’m scared. It feels hot, please…”

Teary-eyed, you don’t know what you’re begging for. It’s all the more thrilling. 

“Shhh, you have nothing to be afraid of,” he coos, suddenly gentle as he caresses your cheek. His undulant tones give you whiplash. “You’re going to suck on it, sweet girl. Make your Olo’Eyktan feel good,”

You nod, and with no warning, he plunges his cock into the confines of your mouth. 

Tonowari does not allow you to breathe, he doesn't even allow you to adjust to the feeling of your mouth stuffed full of his cock. It’s your first time, and in an array of emotions, you try your best to keep your jaw slack, and teeth at bay. It hurts to have his tip poke your throat, graze it so harshly with no regard for your respiration. A plethora of gargled noises come from your mouth - you’re trying to complain and failing miserably. It didn't matter, since Tonowari wasn't in his right mind. It was terrifying and thrilling all at the same time.

"Ohh, that's good," he grunts, shifting his hips slightly. You fight back more tears but fail, it's the pain that causes them now, instead of his belittling words. In comical timing, Tonowari grips your hair by the roots and pulls your head back, then slams his hips back in. You clutch his thighs, screaming around his cock. 

"Shut up," he grits. "Shut up and take it, filthy girl."

You nod, crying. Your eyelashes stick together as you look up at him, and Tonowari bares his teeth. "Mmph, fuck...Keep your eyes on me, you’re doing so good, syulang - so good,"

He slightly bends his head, then spits at the base of his cock where your mouth doesn't reach. Your eyes widen, just how wet did he need to be for this...activity. You wouldn't know, and Tonowari is aware of this. 

"Have you ever had a cock stuffed in your mouth, syulang?" he chuckles, yet his words contain zero humor - low and raspy as they burn his tongue. "Look at you, drooling on it like this. Ahh, fuck - open wider and do it properly before I stuff it down your throat," 

You nod again, but whatever you do or however you do it seems to fail at satiating his anger. He grunts, starting to snap his hips into your mouth and you can’t help but choke, gargle, and make obscene noises which fall fruitless. His head is thrown back in bliss.

Your jaw is slack, and your throat burns, - you cannot help but crave more. His thick cock slams into your mouth with crude noises and causes your spit to roll down your chin. Unable to wipe it, you grip onto his thick thighs that flex every other second - rhythmic to his snapping hips. Your nails dig into his skin but the man, pure muscle and sex, doesn't flinch. He doesn't even feel it, too busy fucking into your mouth with noises that border on animalistic. He moans though it's rough and coarse, a complete contrast to the whines he let out last week as he fucked you slow and good.

This was not slow and good. This was possessive, raw, and dominating. 

"This mouth is mine. Look at you, you're pathetic. You can barely fucking breathe, girl. What? You want to stop?"

You nod desperately, hoping for some sort of release. 

"Oh, Eywa...You're not allowed to stop…you're out here, whoring for every man in the clan - fuck," his hips jerk, ", and have the nerve to ask for release from me. This is your punishment girl, you better remember your place from now on."

You shake your head, your body trembling with desire. He suddenly stops his thrusts, heaving out a breath that rumbles deep from his chest. "I..." His cock twitches in his mouth, and you watch him grit his teeth and squeeze his eyes shut. He's edging himself, you realize. He's denying himself release because it would mean your ‘punishment’ is over. "It's time I claim this pussy of yours before those brainless bastards lay a hand on you, hm?"

You let out a shaky cough as he pulls his cock out. The way you heave is enough evidence that this is all new to you, and in his wicked mind, Tonowari is more than pleased as he watches you catch your breath. 

"Up, yawne," he demands. His endearment means nothing, not when he's so harsh with his tone. "Be a good girl and get up."

You try, you really do. But you can't. Your legs betray you as you try to stand and topple over. Tonowari is quick to catch you. "Pathetic little girl," he growls. His large hands wind around your thighs before he effortlessly lifts you. He doesn't even pull you to his chest, he just carries you like you're some sort of toy that he was going to bend into submission. He disregards you on his nest and your back hits the soft weaving with a yelp. Before you can move, his hands grip the back of your thighs, pushing them to your chest. Somehow, he rips your tewng with a grunt and sniffs the scent that circles the marui. "You got this wet from sucking my cock?" he snarls. Your folds, already puffy, must look so plush due to your current position. You can feel his breath on your entrance as he sniffs you like he's borderline manic. 

"N-no," you manage to utter. "That was hardly a punishment..."

"Do I have to stuff my cock in there again? Don't get mouthy with me, girl." he snaps, his anger visibly seething.

Now you've done it. You don't even know what kind of power made you answer back to him, but there was no going back now. He was only fueled more. "What? Want me to rip this pussy of yours so you have no choice but to take me? You know nothing, look at you."

Your chest tightens at his words.

"My dick was the first one stuffed in this cunt, and it will be the last." and with that, he plunges his cock in you. You scream his name in pain, and generously, he allows you to get used to the stretch for a few, short moments. "Ohhh fuck, yawne - so tight."

His generosity does not last long, however. Soon, he's drilling into your aching cunt with untetheredly rough thrusts. His grunts accompany the quick strokes he graces you with, and it's grounding. As his big hands stay firmly planted on the back of your thighs, he uses you as leverage to fuck into the tight hole he's fixated on - it's grounding. So much so that your arms desperately flail around to hold onto something to balance yourself and keep your consciousness intact, but to no avail. Tonowari's wet heat, his noises of pleasure, his abdomen that grind into the puffy pebble that pulses with the desire between your legs, they work together to drag you down into the depth of Pandora and trap you in a prison of pure pleasure. When he gives a particularly hard thrust, he heaves a rewarding whine of pleasure, and you can merely scream and take it. 

Your gummy walls are being pounded and any hope of movement is distant. Tonowari won't even let your hands grasp onto something. He lowers himself, trapping your body with his sweat-ridden chest, and reminds you, once again, that without his permission, his cock, and his sweet words, you’re anguished and empty. He manhandles you into submission and pulls the feral creature that burns in your chest, screaming at you to mate him. 

"Look at you, fuck...whimpering like a lost angstik pup." he coos, never once stopping his ruthless pace. "You see how I fuck into your sweet pussy, yawne?”

He brings your palm to rest on your belly, and urges you to press - you cry out in pleasure and pain all at once. You could feel the bulge of his cock protruding from your abdomen and causing dizzying bliss. "So sweet, my pretty little syulang," he grunts. "My filthy little cock-slut. Mine to use. All mine."

"T-Tonowari!" you whine at the disorienting senses. Lost in all the pleasure he's inflicting with thrusts. His drilling has stopped, opting to grind his pelvis into your aching cunt with the same pace. His pace, Eywa. It hasn't faltered once and with the delicious friction he's providing you, all the while ruthlessly stretching you out, the strings that keep you on reality are about to snap. Something is fast approaching, yet it feels nothing like the release he granted you last week. It’s more, slowly building up around your chest with tingles.  "I feel weird! It's-"

Tonowari pulls out of your shuddering cunt and the emptiness he causes  builds tears in your eyes. It's nothing but cruel - coaxing you to give in to pleasure completely, then taking it away all at once. "It hurts syulang, doesn't it? That's right...I'm the only one that could make it go away."

You whimper, babbling incoherently when he thumbs your pussy. "Shhh," he coos, wiping your tears sweetly. "It's okay yawne, don’t cry. I’ll take care of you," 

But it's not okay. You frantically shake your head, begging for more when he plunges two fingers into your pussy and curls the digits. Your head jerks back, and Tonowari plants a firm slap on the curve of your ass. The long, drawn-out moan that leaves you is lewd, and Tonowari is quick to bend down and drink it all up with a wet kiss. He pulls away entirely - fingers, hands, everything, then grasps your waist and turns you around. Since your escapade last week, you have had no control over your body. He left you a whiny, aching mess, and addicted you to all the pleasure he could give. Especially now, in your cock-drunk mindset, you merely whimper and whine as his hands knead at your skin. 

He pulls you by the waist, fingers digging into your pelvis and causing an embarrassing gush of your juices to flow down between your legs. You relish in his low chuckle with a shudder, until a wet heat graces your ass. When his teeth dig in, you can all but gasp at the delicious pain. “Oh!”

The bastard bit your ass. 

"There we go, yawne." he dares to tell you. 

You can feel his muscular arm gather your hands and lock them tightly in his grip. He pulls them back, causing your back to arch for his pleasure, then wedges his thick thigh between your legs to rub against your wet, aching, cunt - you're about to pass out from the need to have him inside you. You can only beg to be filled as he bends and handles you to his liking. He plants his thick cock between the expense of your ass, then humps into you once, twice, before plunging into your pussy once again.

It's all feeling at this point - you try to look back and see his face, but Tonowari doesn't allow you. He rocks into you while sitting back on his legs, and plants a firm hand on the back of your head to push you into the weaving. Your ears flicker at the sound of his thick thighs slapping against your ass, his deep moans and growls that fill the marui once again, overlapping with your screams for mercy. 

He grants you none. Pulling you back further, his hand let go of your head and slither down your chest to push you up to his chest. You don't understand where you're seated until Tonowari's thighs guide yours to open wide, pushing his cock deeper. You feel him everywhere, in your stomach, your ribs, and your throat as you cry out his name in pleasure. He grips your waist and humps into you like he would burn if he didn’t, grunting and cursing into your ear. One of his hands closes around your throat, and you can merely throw your head back against his pectoral and grant him further access. "You look beautiful, my syulang," he tells you. "So pathetic and needy like this, letting the Olo'Eyktan bounce you on his thighs like a little whore."

"Yes! T-Tonowari, there - ahh, right there!"

And when he hits the spongy spot that would be your rise and downfall all at once, it hits you. It hits you as he drills into your g-spot from below with rugged thrusts, hits you like a heart stuttering scare that's been creeping behind for weeks, only to catch you when you least expect it. "That's right. Only I can, fuck - make you cum like this. Ohh Eywa, yes! Just like that." he encourages, and you can only let out a plethora of yes yes yes’, shuddering and clamping down on his cock like a steel vice. Your walls spasm around his cock, and you feel him shoot hot ropes of cum into you with a loud groan. You pump him dry, orgasm lasting until your juices flow down his thick cock and the expense of your legs, coating you both in the fruits of his 'punishment'.

Limp in his arms, you can merely pant with glazed eyes. You can't think, Eywa, you're not able to. You feel numb, a buzzing feeling throughout your body. You pant in unison with the man behind you, whose cock twitches in your fucked out pussy. You stay like this for a while, tangled in his arms as he presses sweet kisses in the crook of your neck, whispering sweet nothings to soothe his previous harsh words. "You did so well, my tiyawn." he caresses your hair with his gentle touch.

"Tonowari..." you call out to him. After the post-orgasmic bliss dies down, a rush of emotions envelops your chest and tightens your heart - they encourage you to finally set this relationship between the two of you. As much as you like this... arrangement, Tonowari was your first, and you hope he will be your last.

Traditionally, while Na'vi can court a variety of prospects, that's all they would be, prospects. Sooner or later, you’re required to find a mate and carry out the mating ritual that you've done not once, but twice with Tonowari. It was forbidden, and inevitably exciting, but you desire something more. You won’t allow him to use your body as he pleases, then toss you aside. 

Tonowari hums into your hair, taking a deep breath. "We are to be mated, right?" you hesitantly ask. 

Tonowari wavers for a second, and you feel your heart drop. As the seconds stretch, you feel it getting pulled down lower, and lower, and lower, until...

"Of course, yawne?" he asks, confusion evident in his voice. "I have fucked you twice, came in you thrice. I thought I was obvious with my intentions."

"Oh..."

It would be an understatement to say your heart soars. No matter if you had absolutely no idea he was courting you, or that he gave no indication of being interested in you in the past. As you fall deep in thought, you realize you've never really paid attention to anyone - anyone except Tonowari that is. Even then, you were far too embarrassed to approach the Olo'Eyktan of the clan, let alone look at him. He was mighty, strong, and sought after by many. 

"That's right, oh." he chuckles, bringing you back down to reality again. It's almost comical how he was making you lose all your sensibility just moments ago with his skilled hips, and now grounding you with his tender tone. "As much as I love being inside you like this, we should clean up."

Slowly but surely, he grips your waist and lifts you from his cock. You watch as the delicious mixture of your releases drips down from your entrance, then whine at the emptiness. "I know," he coos, turning you to face him, then placing you on his lap again. With a sweet kiss on your lips, his strong frame envelops you once again. 

You're inches away from giving in when it hits you - he was the one who ignored you this past week. "Wait," you plant your palm on his chest and push. He frowns, lips chasing yours with a whine. "You ignored me all week."

He pauses, and you can faintly hear him suck in a breath. "I didn't ignore you, I was on a hunting party."

"How?" you ask. "Hunting parties never last a week."

"Well syulang, when Zeir loses the map to the village, it does."

"Oh..."

You start laughing at all the unnecessary insecurities that plagued your mind for seven whole days, and your mate lets out an awkward chuckle.

[pansyfemme]

Omg kicks my feet. Hii hello. Umm what to talk about. I love oversharing so! Back when I first got on T, I let them take a blood sample. It wasn't needed but I was like "oh yea sure 8)!" bc it wasn't gonna cost me anything.

So, it gets done nice and quick, I get a little like gauze + tape badda bing badda boom. I went through my Whole Thing tm with insurance almost not covering my T Gel (would've literally exploded otherwise n cried).

I'm on call with my partner, to do my first dose. The T gel is drying on my arm, I'm shirtless, I get ANOTHER call. A like, restricted number/one that wasn't showing. Weird! So I tell him like, "hey I got another call?? Hold on???" I answer it, assuming it's going to be spam or a telemarketer.

Wrong!

A nurse from where I went to my appt. is calling. Uh oh!

"Is this so and so?"

"Umm yes!"

"Hello! I'm really sorry but your blood got left out too long in the locker and it froze. So it can't be used anymore. Can we reschedule you for an appointment?"

> blood frozen

BLOOD FROZEN????? I proceed to tell her, yea of course I can reschedule. Althemeanwhile I'm in shock over "did they forget about my blood???? How does it get left out too long????? Hello?????"

I get the new appt. set up, get back on call with my partner and then retell the story.

Originally, I was gonna go back to this place in spring, 3ish months? But now I'm gonma be going back in March to get my blood taken again. Which like, I guess it'll be a way for 'em to see how T is doing atm. And then again at what would've been my truw 2nd appointment.

My dose now has been treating me good I think! But I def wouldn't want to stay at this dose foreverrrr you know? I think I'm getting changes at a nice rate, even if it feels a little slow. I'm gonna ask next time (probably at appt. 3) about switching to shots bc like Greedy Little Guy who wants T changes a little bit faster. I'm getting them!! But like, I want more you know? I'm sure too though a lot more changes have happened but bc I check in daily since I need to apply Tgel daily, I miss the littler things.

This is a very big ramble >_<; hopefully you don't mind!

i dont mind at all i like when u ramble in my inbox TBH ^_^

but that sounds like a whole weird ordeal omg! I get bloodwork to check my t levels maybe twice a year now but when i was first starting out it was every six weeks for the first year and i hated it soooo much.. bc ive had a lot of misc health issues i get bloodwork pretty regurally and each time i would hope that my mom would be the one taking me bc she would take me out to breakfast or dunkin after and that was the only good thing abt getting bloodwork.

weird story of my own thats kinda similar was that i have like. awful veins. like awful awful ones that they can never find and i end up getting poked a LOT when i get bloodwork. but this is worse when i have to get surgery and i have to get an iv and cant drink any water beforehand. So when i was gettin my horomone blocker implant out, i had to get an iv hooked up, which im fairly used to. but they tried for like. half an hour with every method and they could not locate a single vein and had poked me multiple times in both arms so they were eventually like. ok we’re gonna grab an ultrasound for this, its the last resort. and so they did, and my Anesthesiologist for some reason was there and helping, probably bc they were taking so long and they just wanted to get me into the OR. and so the ultrasound is like a big machine and nothing is working on it. like theyre trying over and over again. and then a nurse walks by and comes into the room and is like. hey. you have to plug it in.and that made me feel great about going into surgery lmao…

blood freezing is a new one tho, ive literally never heard of that! i know they sometimes keep it warm but ive never heard of it freezing before.. it was weird bc i actually was interviewed by a few students for an article in a yale journal about my experience transitioning as a child in my city, and it was so weird going over all this stuff that happened ages ago i didnt know where to start 0_o.. im glad t seems to be working out ok, but the first few months r always kinda rocky and weird tbh!! i dont have experience with gel but i know the changes sometimes come at a different pace than injections! i hope u get to increse ur dose soon!

[trash-iest]

1,4,12,15,23,35,38,40,4650,55,60,75,78,83,86. You don't have to answer these. It's alot I know and I'm sorry. Just.. curious 😅

1. What do you crave in a psychological sense? Intimacy, passion, purpose, belonging, social interaction, etc.?

Passion & purpose (im sorry it's impossible to choose one)

4. Who's the most important person in your life right now? Why?

Myself because i need to consistently work towards my 5 year goal. Its the bare minimum but feels a lot so im hoping ill adjust and become a better version of myself if not the best.

12. What's your most controversial opinion? Would you state it publicly? What's the most controversial opinion that you would publicly support, if it's different?

The moon is made of cheese and pluto is a planet. Oh i would shamelessly state that publicly and stick out my tongue if the other person tries to educate me on the matter (im sorry if you were looking for serious answers, we dont do that over texting)

15. Is there a song, book, movie, or other piece of media that has drastically altered your life? What was it, are there multiple?

This is stupid (but youre allowed to laugh at how basic i am) Book: 13 reasons why. So just a bit of context: Up until grade 7 i was an extremely insensitive kid like id mindlessly laugh at people in school, made fun of their insecurities and was completely clueless about feelings/emotions. It was just considered banter since i was the class clown but the way id gang up with my group and tease other kids was wrong, yet no one corrected this behaviour (tbf i didnt grow up with cousins and they rarely ever visited so there was no sense of realisation) Now end of grade 7 i came across this book and I casually started reading it like any other book and lets just say i didnt expect the traumatising details. It was nothing like the stuff i used to read and it ended up giving me the biggest reality check. I started analysing my behaviour and realised how i might be an actual bully and i couldnt fathom the thought of someone resorting to self harm or suicide because of my silly jokes so i stopped and apologised to those few people. Lets just say this book was the first step towards developing eq and becoming a better person.

23. What would you never admit to in real life?

A LOT of things. I cant really think of anything atm but i mostly just stay quiet when people say questionable shit because i dont have the energy to explain my pov and idc about their opinion lol.

35. What's wrong with you? Physically, mentally, whatever comes to mind. What's right about you? What are your best and worst traits?

Physically— i have a HUGE nose, kinda short, dont have grey/hazel eyes, i wear specs (doesnt look cute), my nails chip every time i grow them out and theyre not a natural pretty shape. Also, i dont feel pretty like an actual girl; im not elegant or any of that and neither am i a hot tomboy. Im just eh. (Edit: i just remembered the dark circles and i look dead without lipstick/lip taint lol)

Mentally— anxious sometimes but thankfully no more anxiety attacks. I feel like my major trust and commitment issues come under personality disorders but ill just list them here. My therapist said im stubborn and very rigid (and I believe him over anyone else) and quite frankly i feel incapable of forming a real human connection. To sum up my worst traits: Im mostly horrible at reciprocation, im always emotionally unavailable, im selfish, hella lazy, careless, stupid. Im definitely forgetting something so whenever I remember it ill add it here lol. My best traits: im very understanding when it comes to the other person needing their space. Im a good listener because i rarely have good advice or solutions lol. Im calm and rarely ever lose my temper which doesnt really last long. I believe in communication instead of letting misunderstandings grow until they explode (im guessing thats good because it has strengthened my friendships)

38. Who do you miss, if anyone?

My 15 year old self. She was so happy, loved the way she looked and was so mentally stable (i might be considered a narcissist at this point)

40. Would you sacrifice your life for a stranger? An acquaintance? A loved one?

I WILL SACRIFICE MY OWN LIFE FOR PAKISTAN (its hard for me to be consistently serious, bear with it pls)

46. Do you have a "right person, wrong time"?

Yeah feels like it

50. What qualities do you find charming?

Whatever prince charming brings to the table (its so hard to be serious about this im sorry it reminds me of middle school)

55. What reminds you of your childhood?

Certain songs, snacks and a few places.

60. What are you afraid of? What are your worst fears? Are you afraid of any of the following - the dark, fire, heights, being alone, people, spiders, snakes, blood, drowning, or death?

Betrayal/abandonment from someone i truly love, getting attached to the wrong person, staying unemployed after graduation, childbirth and raising my own kids, emotionally depending on someone and lizards 💀 Of the following: people, only the big spiders like tarantulas etc, snakes, drowning only because i dont know how to swim and its a very painful death from what ive heard so no thank you.

75. What is your favourite fairytale?

Definitely hansel and gretel because of that edible cottage (still such a dream) but I recently read the story of the youth who went forth to learn what fear was (grimm's fairytales) and its my favourite one as an adult now.

78. Have you ever written a poem or song about someone? Or had someone write one about you? Do you hope to have either of those experiences in the future?

Nope i havent. My best friend has written poetry for me, about 3 times. It was super cute but it constantly made me feel indebted because ive never made a grand gesture like that and what she wrote was proper poetry and she appreciates me so much. Ive only ever written her letters with my ugly handwriting yet she treasures them. Hypothetically if i do find someone in the future like that idk how id react but ill definitely be thinking about ways to reciprocate.

83. What's your type? Otherwise, do you think you attract a certain sort of person?

An aromantic asexual or at least someone whose love language isnt physical touch and theyre naturally not a cheezy person but i feel like im asking for a lot here since most people associate romance with their partners and what i say is considered abnormal or bs so lets not go there. Ill need to be attractive to attract a certain type of people or anyone for that matter lol.

86. What could you talk about for hours?

Honestly my chattiness depends on my mood or the type of day im having instead of a particular topic.

[rjshepherd]

Rather then a Heat, since Karl is such an Alpha male, I'd love some headcanons or drabble of him going into Rut and waiting nothing more then to WRECK his partner. Him struggling between fear of seriously hurting them but also overwhelmed with the primal need to claim.

(Definitely a breeding kink with it I'd imagine. Lots of manhandling of the partner, sex all over the place(made 25% of the time using the bed 🤣)

Y'all know the drill, spicy under the cut . doing head canons bc im working on fics atm

Ok so please don't hate me nonnie but i just can't see karl as a pure alpha male. Alpha of the lycan pack, sure but i just have a hard time imagining him being a constant dominant over his partner. I can for sure see him going into a rut and wanting to wreck but he’s still a sub for you and you alone. He’d wait until you give permission like a good boy before going to town or giving in to any urges

If you made me point to a b or o i would say beta. He's a switch with a preference for subbing and/or bottoming since he never gets to do it. In a rut he’s feeling more top but still submits to your whims. He’s a service top, basically. 

My canon has him having more heats than ruts but he does still have them. In the past he’s mostly been with the lycans during these times so he can be as rough as he likes without fear of hurting anyone. Ruts with you are a LITTLE different. He could definitely kill you mid fuck if he’s not careful. Lycans rip out each other's arteries all the time when they bite to mark their partners. He’d really rather not come down from a lust high to find you bleeding out. He’s seriously considered bite guards for himself just in case. 

As he gets more comfortable with you, he feels a little freer to let himself go with you. Expect some energetic sex all over the factory, in weird places and whenever the mood strikes you both. He does manhandle you but he’s equally game for play fighting or fighting for dominance with kisses. If you wanted to manhandle him too he wouldn't complain too much. 

But being such a partner pleaser as he is, even when you've been together for years, he needs to constantly check in to make sure he’s doing a good job, that you're having fun and he’s not hurting you. It can get a little stressful at times, worrying about you and trying to ignore his need to go full rut, go absolutely feral . This  is usually why I say he likes you to take the lead, even if he’s the one doing the giving.  It's less for him to think about. 

God he is so frightened of hurting you. Even if you were as tough as him he still has a habit of treating you like you're made of glass. In the past he just hasn't told you about his ruts, tried to deal with them alone so he doesn't have to worry about you. Forgetting that you might actually be into this shit. What can I say, horny brain is not exactly good at thinking things through. 

You are 100% right about the breeding kink mind you. Even out of his ruts the thought of breeding you or you breeding him is an instant turn on. I don't actually think he wants kids right now, but the idea of spreading his seed, filling you up or ( if he has a partner with a uterus) getting you pregnant with his progeny is insanely arousing to him. 

Karl is a LITTLE sheepish about claiming. Even in a rut, hell, even mid fuck when he has his teeth bared to sink into your neck he still hesitates. He grazes the skin, stops and starts and gives kisses like he's preemptively apologising.  He’s afraid of seriously hurting you or leaving a lasting scar. He sometimes gears up for a big bite only to stop last second and just give you a little hickey instead. It's cute but I'm sure sometimes you’d rather he just went whole hog or not at all. 

Does not work that way on him though. He loves it when you bite him, even as he ruts between your legs. If you wanted to take the initiative and give him a quick nibble he might not be able to control himself. 

Perhaps a controversial opinion but i think he might find it really hot to have a dominating partner deny him the chance to rut ( at least for a while). Treat this big bad wolf like your plaything and he’ll cum on the spot.  Imagine him coming to you, begging for release, to be allowed to rut, only for you to say “me first”. If he wants to rut inside you he’s gotta earn that right. He’ll go down on you with vigor, use his hands like an expert or make out with you for hours if that's what you want. He wants to breed, yes, and it's killing him not to . but he's far more desperate for your approval first. 

Hey there nonnie, i'm sure this wasn't QUITE what you were expecting but i hope you enjoyed it regardless.  It's certainly far more in line with how I write karl. Man has issues and he needs his partners approval like he needs air. If you can imagine Spartacus from the movie 300 looking to his wife for approval before being a badass, that's basically karl lmao.

[cherrysha]

Uvo’s First Time With You

This is tooth rottingly sweet Uvo because i really cant help myself. im weak fr that big ass boi.

Requests are Open atm

Summary : I have this headcanon where Uvo doesn’t physically punish his girl *ahem* captive fr not wanting him... he just slips her a lil smthn smthn at dinner one night..

Word Count: 3,691

Warnings: dubcon/noncon, Yandere!Uvo, drugs, unprotected sex, cockwarming, kidnapping, tiniest mention of blood, mentions of violence, aaand I think thats it.

As per usual 18+ crowd here. No minors should be reading this.

He just sits there after dinner, quieter than usual as he waits for it to kick in.

His arm draped across the back of the couch and he just feels you slowly start to squirm around more and more, he lets his eyes wander over you.

“Is everything okay sweetheart?”

“Yeah...it’s just.. really hot in here Uvo” you whisper to him.

And you saying his name like that,, already so needy for...something, has him trying to hide the smirk on his face.

“I’ll adjust the temperature for you then.”

And beFORE he even has a chance to get up your whining at him not to leave. (which is COMPLETELY out of character since you usually are uncomfortable just being around this giant of a man who quite literally kidnapped you)

“I just wanna lay down Uvo.. I don’t feel good”

And there it is again. Usually he can’t even get you to look him in the eye but nOW?! Your saying his name and clutching onto his t-shirt like ur fighting the urge to wrap yourself around him.

He nods his head, keeping a straight face as he gruffly replies with “Go lay down then”

You just let out an impatient sigh and bury your face into his side.

And the bastard KNOWS you want HIM to lay down with you!! But he wants to hear you say it. Wants to see that pretty blush on your face when you get flustered.

You whine out “Uvo...” and stare at him, mentally trying to communicate your need without having to say it out loud. Not really understanding what you want, or maybe you do but you’re so far in denial that you don’t want to acknowledge it.

“Tell me what you want or I won’t give you anything at all.”

And he watches as a pout makes its way across your features.

With a huff you crawl into his lap, arms reaching as far up his tall frame as they can to grip onto his shirt again. Pressing yourself completely against him. You make eye contact for the first time that night.

“I - I want you to lay down with me... please Uvo?”

To say he’s shocked is an understatement

The man is beyond words. It’s only been 15 minutes since he slipped you the drugs and you’re already more comfortable with him than you’ve been since he took you months ago.

“All you had to do was ask sweetheart.”

It’s only been seconds from your statement and you don’t even care about laying down anymore. Can’t even really remember that you were having a conversation or what it was even about. All you can think of now is how hot you are, how your clothing is too itchy and constricting. Your skin is on fire.

Uvo’s body temperature is way hotter than yours normally, and even now he’s still very warm. But to you it feels like heaven. His warmth like a soothing balm over your skin.

“Uvo I need.. I need to take this off” you squirm and try your hardest not to fall off his lap as you wrestle out of your shirt.

His grip on your hips tightens a little. You miss the groan that manages to pass through his lips, too distracted with your own mission of getting out of the straight jacket of a shirt.

He watches you for a minute, panting at the way you’re accidentally grinding down on him. So focused on getting comfortable that you completely forget where your sitting, or that Uvo’s eyes are watching you undress.

“L-Lets get you into bed first sugar” and he removes your clenched fists from the fabric of your shirt. He’s playing the part of an innocent man, but his true motive is that he wants to savor this. He doesn’t want to rush through the moment so quickly that he doesn’t have time to truly indulge in it. To drown in it.

At this point the drugs are kicking in HARD. All you can think of is your need for.. something. You just need it. And the frustration from the denial is mixing with the pain in your gut.

“No Uvo! I need it off.. all of it off! Please it hurts so bad. Please Uvo...”

You’re crying now, hitting his chest weakly with your closed fists.

Uvo’s lap us soaked from the wetness betwen your thighs. He’s not sure if you even notice. That along with the way you’re throwing your little hissy fit, squirming all over him has his head leaning back against the couch, stifling the moan that’s threatening to make it past his clenched jaw.

He collects himself, taking a deep breath before standing up, hands firmly planted on your ass to keep you as close as possible to his body.

He’s so tall that he has you pressed against his lower abdomen, your legs wrapped as far around his trunk of a torso as they can.

Your moving harder in his hands, panting as he takes you up the stairs.

At first he thinks youre struggling to get away from him, so used to your rejection that it takes him a minute to realize you’re rubbing your clothed crotch against his stomach, sighing at the friction of it.

You don’t even realize your doing it tbh. The drugs clouding your mind of any awareness you had. All you know is that moving your hips is making the pain in your gut a little more tolerable.

Uvo stops and just watches. Your breathing heavy as you rub yourself against him, little whispers of his name passing through your parted lips.

He realizes in that moment that he’s a goner. He expected this to be different, expected you to fight against it tooth and nail just like you fought against him over the months he’s had you. He knows you won’t stay this needy, but even now the intimacy you’ve shown him is enough to last him years to come. He’s prepared to go through whatever means necessary to feel this again.

You don’t even register he’s stopped or his heavy gaze watching you intently. You grab his shirt, hiking it up so you can feel the dips and curves of his stomach, greedily soaking up the soothing warmth against your hands, your body still unconsciously moving against his now exposed chest. 

He listens to you moan in relief, watches as your face contorts in pleasure. Uvo starts walking again, albeit a little quicker this time. His mind wandering to the warm slick you’ve just covered his stomach with. He’s painfully hard, needing it just as much as you do.

And in all honesty I don’t think Uvo could deny you anything besides leaving him ofc.

So he gets you in bed and helps you remove everything besides your underwear even though you tried to take that off too and just waits for it... lays there and holds you, waiting for you to tell him what you want from him.

Yes, he could take you by force if he wanted to but this man craves your love and he knows if you give in willingly you know besides the fact he drugged you you’ll see him as your savior. There for you when your hurting, aching, desperately needing help. 

“Uvo.. please.. shirt off” is all he can make out of your incoherent mumbling.

And this fucker

“Your shirt is already off baby”

He’s making it difficult on purpose. Stringing you out so he can see you sob for him.

“No...no. You undress. Please? Please..”

And that’s enough.

His patience is wearing thin. Months and months of craving you. Wanting you to love him but only getting one word replies and scared tears had him yearning for your affection, to the point it made him sick.

He’s never wanted anything as desperately as he’s wanted you. And you wanting him back? He’ll do anything to have his feelings reciprocated.

He takes everything off, even stripping out of his boxers.

You sob when he pulls away to shuck out of his clothing, fat tears sliding down your face at the loss of his touch.

It only takes him seconds but it’s long enough to have you in hysterics

He shushes you, laying you on his chest as he wraps an arm around your waist. Running his fingers through your hair, whispering in your ear:

“It’s okay”

“I’m here”

“I’m not leaving you baby”

Until you’ve calmed down. His skin on yours is a godsend. You actually kiss him first, moving in as he’s whispering to you and catching him off guard.

It’s open mouthed and sloppy, your need making you desperate.

When he starts to kiss you back you whine into his mouth, not being able to stop yourself from moving your hips.

Uvo grunts, letting himself roll up against you; loving the squeak you let out into his mouth as his hands grasp your hips.

He could stop right now and it would still be the best moment of his life. His tongue in your mouth tasting your desire and his hips moving in tandem with yours. It’s heaven.

To you it’s pure ecstasy. You’ve never experienced this type of gut wrenching pain before. A need so desperate you’ll do anything to quell it.

Even if it meant letting your captor fuck you senseless.

You’re unashamed. There is no room in your head to think about such things when your body is on fire like this, burning as your floor muscles clench and unclench so hard it’s excruciating. Trying desperately to squeeze around something and adding to the fire when they find nothing.

The little drop of relief you felt with Uvo was enough to spur you on. If he was the cure then consequences be damned. You were trapped anyway.

You learned you couldn’t outrun him, definitely couldn’t fight him, and now you’d just proven that given a little push you’d actually be with him. You let the thoughts float away

If this was your bed, you’d lay in it.

“Y/n” he lets out a grunt as the spot between your thighs coats his cock through the soaked fabric of your panties.

“Y/n... let me take these off.”

You don’t respond. Instead you grind down harder against him.

Uvo tears the flimsy material off of you body, your bra following soon after.

He’s watching the way your breasts bounce at the force, eyes only ripping away when a high pitched whine leaves your throat.

Your eyes are closed, only focusing on his cock sliding between your folds with every glide of your hips.

Hot and thick, you sob with relief. And still, it wasn’t enough.

“Please Uvo”

“Please what baby? What do you want?”

And with the most conviction you’ve had tonight you beg him “I need you inside of me. Please Uvo. Make it stop.”

He’s breathless. You’ve never wanted anything. No gift would satisfy you, no amount of money could buy your love. And with one measly pill he’s got you writhing on top of him, begging for him to fill you up with his cock.

It gives him a head rush. The only thing you’ve ever asked for is to be stuffed full.

And we all know Uvo is packing some heat right?

Uvo even knows he’s huge, and right now this mans ain’t trying to tear you open unless you wanted him to.

Even though he wants nothing more than to simply seat himself fully inside the tight clutch of your warmth, and god how easy it’d be in this position to just pick you up and sit you down on his length, he flips over. Being careful not to use too much strength in his excited state, so you’re laying beneath him on the bed.

You’re disoriented, and by the time you even fully process what’s happened he’s got his middle finger knuckle deep inside of you.

You arch your back, vision going black and mouth opening into a silent scream with how hard you cum just from one drop of relief.

And he’s trying so fucking hard to keep it together. The way your eyes roll back and your sex already trying so desperately to milk him, tightly clenching and unclenching around his digit.

He’s sure you’re going to drive him mad with desire.

You catch your breath and Uvo’s panting along with you too.

“Did that feel good baby?” And you nod up at him, still too dazed to speak.

“I bet you needed that huh?” smiling down at you, eyes blown wide with lust.

But even though his finger is plenty thick enough, it’s like your body KNOWS that it wasn’t his cock. You still ache for him, the release just pouring gasoline to the flames licking up your spine.

Your voice is just a whisper when you ask him

“More...” you look up at him, lips puffy and trails of tears running down your face. “Please”

And not for the first time tonight, Uvo almost snaps. He closes his eyes, blinking slowly before he takes a deep breath.

“Fuck baby... yeah, yeah I know what you want. Just. Just let me get you ready first okay?”

You give a reluctant nod and Uvo slides a second finger into you.

Any pain you feel at how thick he is, is masked by the spine curling burn in your veins. All you feel from the stretch is white hot pleasure.

And with a shaky breath your thanking him again, boosting his ego as he flicks his wrist to push and pull at the heat clutching around his fingers.

It feels like he’s stuck in a vice. So tight and wet for him... only ever for him. Eyes blown wide he watches as you shake beneath him, chasing any chance of stopping the pain you feel. He scissors his fingers open. He needs to stretch you out enough to fit.

When you start to get close again he pulls out. While he does want to draw this out, he mostly does it out of curiosity. Wants to see what you’ll do when denied your pleasure.

He gets his answer quickly as you let out a scream of frustration, moving your hands from the sheets beneath you to grip his hair, using all your strength to try and get his mouth down to yours in search of any piece of him you can get.

Obviously he doesn’t budge he’s like a thousand times stronger than you. BUT you do succeed in lifting yourself up to meet his lips, biting at them with a low growl in your throat.

For once in this relationship Uvo feels completely in control. He has you right where he wants you. Completely feral for him. Your reward is not only the return of his digits, but also a third finger fucking deeply into you as well.

“Lay back down” he growls out “ be a good girl for me again”

And you do. You’ll do anything for him. A sigh leaves your lips as the pain recedes, replaced with the pleasure Uvo is giving you. It towed a thin line between pain. Any time he slowed down it creeped into your consciousness again. He was your salvation, your only respite from whatever was doing this to you.

He’s your god, and after what felt like forever, he finally answers your prayers.

“S’gunna sting baby. Don’ wanna hurt you but I can’t... I can’t take any more.”

His fingers are gone. In their place is the head of his cock sliding between the soft petals of your pussy.

Uvo moans at the feeling. The feeling of you wanting him, slick and waiting for him.

Such a pretty little thing. He wants to mark you up, leave your body bruised with his signature. To feel the weight of your breasts in his mouth. Wants to bite down gently on your shoulder and taste the iron of your blood on his tongue. To feel your lips swallowing around him, to drown in the taste of your cunt as it clenches on his tongue. He wants every single part of you. But most of all, He wants to ruin you.

You moan, pulling him out of his reverie. “I - I need more Uvo! Not enough, please.”

All of those things can wait for now. His focus in this moment is on making you realize just how much you need him.

Gritting his teeth he slides the tip in, watching with wide eyes as it disappears inside of you.

It’s stretches you out, a whine escaping at the noticble sting of it. Uvo watches your face before slowly plunging deeper within you. You let out a cry as he stretches you out.

after a few pushes and pulls, slowly fucking you open Uvo finally sinks down until he’s fully sheathed inside, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He’s paralyzed for a moment, his attention solely on how warm and wet you are. It’s firm yet gentle around him. Better than everything he imagined. Like silk, only alive, and he swears he can feel your heartbeat enveloping him.

He buries his head in your neck, licking a stripe up a line of sweat until he’s kissing you again. Swallowing every whimper that slips past your swollen lips.

His mouth stays on yours as he slowly pulls back and ruts his hips against yours completely for the first time. You’re scratching his back and god he wishes you could mark him up. Wishes beyond measure that he could carry the sting of you wherever he goes.

“Yeah..right t-there. Fuck!”

 Your shy demeanor is being forcibly torn away. This is the first time he’s heard you curse, the sound of it making him let out a low growl. Thoughts of how he’s awoken some part of you he’d never seen before floating into his mind. his dirty little girl... he wonders how far he can push you until it becomes too much? It’s a question for another day. One where you’re used to taking his hard length, a day he’s not fucking you open.

“Tell me how you feel sweetheart”

You can’t even remember your own name, let alone construct a fully fledged sentence for the man above you. He’s pressing something deep within you that’s making your head even more dizzy than it was before. You clutch him as he rolls onto his back, laying you on his chest as he swivels his hips up into you, lazily grinding against your clit until your mewling.

“You needed this? Needed me? Just too shy to say it...”

He’s rambling, too far gone with pleasure to dice his words.

“Wanted to fill you up for a long time. You love this huh sweetheart? Love me inside of you like this.. so tight, made for me...All mine.” And then he quiets for a moment. His thoughts leading him elsewhere.

He pulls you tighter against his chest, your name falling from his lips like a prayer. Trailing his hand down to your clit, picking up the pace as he feels the beginning of your orgasm approach.

The pain is a distant memory at this point. The only feeling now was the all consuming pleasure Uvo was giving you. You try to writhe against him as the coil in your stomach threatens to snap, but his grip is iron clad on you. You’re so close, so close that your back starts to try to arch against him.

But with grunt he pulls completely out of you, steeling himself against the agonized wail that pass through your lips.

 “Tell me you love me y/n.”

The denial.. the pain slowly consuming you once again. Your cunt clenches around nothing, broken cries leaving your dry throat.

“Say it and I’ll make you feel better. I’m the only one who can make you feel like this. “

He’s tense but his words are desperate. Brows furrowed as you try, and fail, to squirm out of his grip.

“Uvo...”

“Say it for me sweetheart.”

You gulp, the choice excruciatingly clear as the seconds tick on.

Uvo I ... I love you.” it’s whisper quiet but the way that his fucks back up into your aching core with renewed vigor is proof enough that he’s heard you.

Delirious with your confession he starts talking again. Mumbles interlaced with his sounds of pleasure of how good you are, how tight, how he’d kill anyone who harmed you, whatever you want is yours just say the word, he’s yours. All of him until he draws his last breath.

As he hits that sweet spot inside of you again and again and again the coil snaps. A pleasured cry wrenches what little voice you have left from your sore throat as you’re hit full force. You can’t help how your body thrashes to escape his grip. He makes you cum so hard you almost pass out, black dots clouding your vision as he stills inside of you.

He stops thinking, stops talking as his mouth falls open at the clench of your pussy around him. You squeeze his length, so hard that he doesn’t have to move to cum. He lets your body finish him as he plays with your clit, turning a deaf ear to your overstimulated whine. 

The feeling of your pussy milking the rest of his release inside of you quickly becoming addicting. He’s never cum so hard in his life.

Months of pent of frustration paint your walls, the warmth seeming to soothe what is left of the painful ache of the drugs in your system. You let out a sigh of relief and relax as Uvo moves so he can spoon you, making sure to stay firmly rooted between your legs.

He pets your hair and whispers praises between gentle kiseses to you neck. You must be so exhausted, he knows. You let your eyelids droop, nows not the time to think about consequences. With Uvo’s strong arms wrapped around you, his cock still buried deep, you let yourself be lulled to sleep.

[ficsnroses]

Touch - John Wick x Reader

summary : you wake John up with a morning handjob.

warnings : handjob, implied oral sex. x f! reader. fluffy fluff fluff! 2k.

notes : hi loves! this is another fic I never posted because I thought it was a little too similar to another fic I’d wrote. Im posting it now, months later since I don’t have any new content for you atm! feedback is so appreciated. hope you enjoy! xx 

In the dewy AM light, your heavy eyes soak open morning glow, a throbbing ache to your temple pitches just as the rays protrude your darkened eyelids. In the wake of the moment, you’d hardly noticed the dip of the mattress beside you, a heavier weight positioned, a tangle of legs and heft of your love’s bulky arm loosely held across your waist.

John holds you so close, so proximate, the gentle brush of his calm, relaxed breathes paints to the soft curve of your neck. The quietude is special, his snooze pacifies, calms something inside you that raced the night prior.

Retiring, falling asleep to a bed empty of his body beside you would never prove easy. The grim thoughts never surrender, the cold, stoic hollowness that comes with him being away far too long had never quite become less crushing.

He’d often come in this way; late in the midnight AM, quieter than a whisper as he’d return in your arms. Perhaps you remember feeling him draw your skin closer, unbeknownst to the surrender of snooze that clouded around you, encapsulated you upon his late night return. In the sea of surrounding blankets and feathery pillows, your lips curl to a gentle smile, a ring of a content hum falling dripped, honey doused off your warm smile his way.

Mornings like this; waking up, with him safe beside you, were quite literally,

incomparable.

His body moulds to yours, body heat collective, nesting together in utter, quiet, harmony. John, this way, was a beauty to be seen. In moments like this, where sleep comes, kisses him, engulfs; wraps him in a serene reduction; you feel most at ease.

Knowing he’s at ease, he’s content, he’s whisked away in nothing but surrender to the part of him that will always stay human. The part of him that rests, reminds him that he is still human, despite the sins that refuse to let him go.

With his warm skin stippled to yours, you feel yourself drift further into his embrace, a content, drowsy smile of your own curling to the gentle twist of your blush stained lips. Although his heavy chest heaves in small, gentle exhales, he seems in ease. He seems calm, a flutter behind his sleep soaked eyelids sure of a visit in dreamland.

You inch in closer, slow, and he stirs slight to the feel of your gentle lips tracing over his skin. Softly, you pepper a love laced peck to his jaw, face nuzzling into his neck; John’s eyes blissfully unaware to the sunlit dew that surrounds him. Habitually, his arms tighten around you, a content, oblivious sigh echoed off his lip. Relishing, your lips nip at the skin of his neck, half slumber absorbed movements laced with nothing, but pure affection as you bundle close to your love. His skin exudes the familiar scent of long forgotten cologne, and something so uniquely, exclusively John.

A scent that reminds you he’s here, along side you, where he’d always belong.

Without mere thought, your hands position to his chest, soothing small, rubbing comforting circles to the broad of his bare chest; John preferred to sleep with his shirt off.

Not that you’d lament; the heavy tattoos that litter his back are gorgeous, yet John often shies away from showing you their portrayal. On particularly good nights, sometimes, John will let you trace the delicate ink, allow you to fully absorb each dip, each sharp curve of the once penned art that paints to his back.

John’s back, in all its glory, all its beauty, is a story untold. The intrigue, the beauty, the basic seams that compose of this man you’d received the delight of calling all yours, is nothing less of a miracle.

John Wick is a miracle; his back carries a story,

       that the spine of a book could never hold. His story lives within him, claws, cuts away at him.

He’s a miracle, to be what he is,

       coming from where he does.

Apart from the rare look into the symphony that tells tale to his skin, often, John enjoys his skin so close to yours, shielded by no barrier. On particularly rough nights, or evenings where John needs nothing but you to melt the dread of the day behind, he finds asylum in your skin.

Skin to skin with John is one of your favourite ways to unwind; to forget. You’ll shelter in his arms, both your bodies bare, exposed, relishing within each other.

You don’t need sex in moments like that.

You solely need him,

And he only needs you.

All the curves of your frail body relax into the strength of his.

As your lips continue, drenching into his bruised skin; you sigh, airy and light. You sigh, marking his body with the nectar that flows off your lips, only for him.

A gentle mark to his neck, a softer one just below.

A softer kiss to his jaw, a softer, lighter one to his chest. Slow and steady, you delight in his body, pulling the callous of his form closer, nearer, sighing when he stirs so slight, the content smack of his lips assuring a relaxation he so desperately deserved. Slow; as flowers fall from your lips onto his skin, your gentle hands move composed, leisurely, smoothly down his chest, brushed delicately across the firm of his torso, the structure; the art of his abs,

Your fingers draw gentle circles and mindless shapes, playing his skin in a beautiful melody; John’s touch dances on your fingertips, his skin a song you’d memorized a lifetime ago;

           Slowly, the soft pads of your hold brush over his clothed manhood, full, thrived, glorious in his cotton boxers. His shaft is firm against your wrist, the heaviness of his entirety thick against your fingers. With a cheeky smile, and warm grin his way, your face buries under the dip of his neck, just under the abrasive stubble of his chin, your lips peppering sincere, love baked kisses to his drowsy figure, two fingers of your inquisitive hand dipping into the waistband of the fabric that holds his cock, full.

John’s cock is one of your absolute favourite treats.

His girth,

His heaviness,

His weight, his taste, that throbbed vein that runs like a lightening bolt up his overwhelming length, the rich shade of pink his tip becomes when erect for you; John’s cock is a luxury in its own right.

Gently, your fingers intrude into his boxers, skin brushed past the full bush of dark hair that surrounds his member. John keeps himself tame, groomed to a tolerable trim down under just for you. Before you, John didn’t care much. Now, however, he prefers to keep himself presentable, just for you.

As the soft pads of your lotion silken fingers greet his bulge in a tender brush, shockwaves pierce inside you, the sheer feel of his cock wrapped in your hand causes a tender ache between your legs.

Butterflies float inside,

Nerves twist inside your core, the familiar bite of anticipation, of need.

Your body sears for him, pleads for him to wake up and make love to you. Yearns for his cock to make home within you, thoughts hazed in a crisp desire for him to fuck you the way he so expertly does.

Yet; you hold. You tenderly, warmly, delicately begin to stroke his shaft, making sure to swirl his tip with your thumb, feeling the thin skin of his member melt through your grip.

John deserves to feel good, deserves to feel love kiss him, graze him in the most tender of ways. John deserves for relief to wash over him; to kiss any worries that clog his weary mind away.

Stroking firmer, harder, faster, his arousal jerks in your satin grip, in a ballet fumed through your affectionate pry, lovebites and wet kisses still mottling to his collarbone. John’s cock throbs, aches, pulses in your hand, his sleeping frame slowly, barely waking in the midst of your morning favour.

Gently, you massage his heavy balls, tenderly stroking them, paying well attention to each inch, each curve, each dip of his magnificent manhood. John stirs, eyes fluttering awake through a quiet moan dripping off his tongue; eyes still shut as soft, gentle groans coil in his throat, and his palms find the small of your back, holding on dearly. The warmness of your kisses on his jaw welcome him awake; each inch of him envelopes in love, in a sea of all feelings good; all feelings free.

Velvet and rich, his moans melt in your ears, the sound of his tender baritone quietly, softly whimpering for you a song you’d memorize till’ the end of time. You continue, stroking his cock, faster, and faster, and faster, twisting, pumping, slicking the smear of dewy pre cum slipping out his head.

“Fu…fuck…” John moans, heavy palms finding your waist as they hold your hips tight, fingers sinking into the soft flesh. “Fuck, sweetheart, it feels…” The words die in his throat, cut through a louder, gravellier groan, a groan that moistens the insides of your glossy arousal building for him.

“Feel good, baby?” You wonder, painting yet another delicate, mauve bruise into the skin of his chest.

“So good, don’t stop.” He requests, through broken breathes and weary gasps. “I’m gonna cum,” John warns, his own hand trickling into his boxers to massage his balls simultaneously, while you work wonders to his swollen shaft. With a few more particularly tight, sloppy pumps, John’s hold on you tightens, sweet, dripping praises of your name fleeing his lips as his cock burst, spurts of creamy, warm release coating the grip of your palm.

He feels silky, wet and sticky in your touch, and you grin a warm kiss his way, watching the beauty of his dark features relish in aftershocks, riding the waves of delicious release as you softly, slowly pump him limp. Pulling your body closer, John’s snuggles further into your hold, sighing against your skin; his cock still bundled in your tender grip. “Good morning, handsome.” You giggle, feel of his laboured breaths hot against your skin, as he peppers a soft kiss to your breast. Smoothing over your hips, his deep baritone sighs a fond exhale, heavy hands smoothing over your peachy ass.

“Good morning it is,” He smiles into the valley of your breasts, his hands trailing suggestively into the hem of your shirt. Kissing, peppering affection to the swell of your chest, John chuckles, his own palm moving to brush over your drenched, needy pussy.

“Darling,” He whispers, larger frame shifting to hover over you, grinning with his mouth travelling to the silky dip of your neck, where his tongue dances over soft flesh. “You have to let me return the favour.” Quietly, his tone sends vibrant want spark inside, breath hitching to the way his study fingers rub against your bare slit, lapping, smearing the sap that drips just for him.

“When,” He whispers into your skin, praising, returning stolen kisses. “Did I,” a gentler kiss to your collarbone, as he trails lower, peeling off whatever fabric shields the haven of your body from his wanting gaze. “Get so, lucky?”

           And to the sound of your soft giggle, his eyes lock with yours as his face positions just above your hips, bulky fingers stripping your pajama bottoms down. His lips work tender kisses to the insides of your thighs, loving hands grazing over the soft skin as he whispers, taking hold of your hand, ready to return the morning affection.

           “You’ll be the death of me, Mrs. Wick.”

➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴

My taglist will be posted in reblogs, let me know if you want to be added or removed! :)

[books-and-dragons]

pegoryu (pre-established) post-interrogation hurt/comfort fic. has mentions of nightmares, trauma, and implied physical assault. unedited and for that i big apologise in advance

___________

okay!!! so this fic has been sitting in my drafts for months (lol what else is knew i know, shush i’m getting to the point) and i was supposed to post it on ao3 at the same time as i did a couple of others, however never got around to it bc it needed editing and im too lazy for that

likelihood is, i will edit and post to ao3 at some point, but it needs some BIG rennovations and i just can’t be arsed atm

so yeah, apologies for the shoddy writing in advance xoxo

but for now, i wanted to post it on here. today. as a sign of goodwill for the year to come. (ie. i own p5r, still havent played it, need to play it, and hope posting this will kick me into gear)

so, hope you enjoy!! and lmao if not it’ll just get buried as i start to revive this blog so,...win win?

In the first few nights since the interrogation, Ryuji stayed awake, listening to the fragile shudders of Akira’s breath in the night. So sensitive to every breath of air restricted by broken ribs, Ryuji hadn’t needed to look across the room, to gaze at the beaten figure on the bed, to know how his face was contorted in pain- unmasked in sleep.

He refused to so much as close his eyes until Akira’s breathing levelled out, still shuddering and restricted by pain, but deep enough to assure him that Akira was asleep. Only then, Ryuji allowed himself to rest.

Nobody else stayed the night. They lingered until the last train, crowded around the attic bedroom, gaze worriedly resting on Akira until the final second, where they’d leave with the accompanying chime of Leblanc’s door closing. But not Ryuji.

Ryuji, who had refused to leave Akira’s side since the moment he’d returned to their arms, beaten and drugged up, hardly coherent, but so relievingly and perfectly alive.

Akira hadn’t been alone since, Ryuji ensured that much. Torn over so much as going across the road for a bath, he couldn’t leave the other boy alone- something pulled at him to never let that happen, a pit of fear in the bottom of his stomach that pulled at his every nerve.

Maybe it had something to do with the nightmares, the visions of Akira lying broken on cold tile, at the mercilessly unrelenting hands of the police, the images of Akira lying dead, blood pooling from his head, the way the images seemed to haunt him even when awake- but there was no point reading into it. It wasn’t important, especially not now.

What mattered was that when he woke up, breath haggard and skin shining with sweat under the light of outdoor streetlamps, Akira never woke. Wasn’t even perturbed. 

Ryuji tried to be thankful for it, tried not to think about why Akira was suddenly such a deep sleeper. Ignored the puncture wounds on his neck, the bottle of painkillers by his bedside. Akira was resting, and that was enough.

Even if it didn’t make sense that, when morning rose, the dark circles under Akira’s eyes had grown. That he tried to muffle pained yawns behind bandaged hands, and begged for more coffee- even though Takemi had put him on a temporary ban.

Because Ryuji had seen him sleeping, watched the rise and fall of his chest as Ryuji reminded himself that Akira was alive and safe, it was the sight that lulled him back to sleep from a nightmare. So why did Akira always look so tired?

He tried not to let his growing concern show, there was already so much to be worried about, he didn’t want to add another. Especially not when it could be nothing but his own annoying thoughts.

It wasn’t until the next night, after a particularly painful and thorough visit from Takemi earlier that day, that Ryuji started to reconsider.

Blearily opening his eyes to the dark lighting of the attic, Ryuji didn’t need a clock to know it was well into the middle of the night, and that he’d been woken up from his sleep, again.

But it was weird. There was none of the usual constricting fear, the blind panic- he’d hardly even started seeing the figure of a beaten Akira surrounded by shadow, let alone begun imagining the worst. 

About to blame it on the lumpy and painful springs of the couch and try to fall back asleep, Ryuji caught it. Quiet, as if muffled by something, but just loud enough to penetrate through the silence in the attic and reach Ryuji: crying.

No. Not crying.

Sobbing.

Ice burning in his stomach, he carefully lifted the blanket and rose, wary of creaking springs and the sound of rustling fabric, towards the shaking figure on the bed.

His voice was barely above a whisper, carrying clearly and softly through the silence as he carefully extended an arm, not touching, only hovering, “Akira?”

The responding flinch broke Ryuji’s heart all the more, as a head rose from under the covers, bloodshot eyes wide and darting around the room in panic, hair wildly askew. 

Moving as slowly as he dared, Ryuji sat at the side of the bed, “Hey, it’s okay, it’s only me.”

As the mattress shifted under him, Akira froze. Muscles tight and unyielding, back as ramrod straight as his broken ribs would allow, the entire body braced for something Ryuji didn’t even want to think about. His gaze was distant, somewhere far away from Leblanc, from the blond sat right beside him.

It reminded Ryuji of his Ma, in the months after the divorce. Curled up together on the dingy bed, they’d cling to each other so tight even in sleep, waking up in the morning sweaty and sometimes a little uncomfortable, never minding because they woke feeling completely safe. But there were the nights when his Ma’s screams would wake him in the early hours, recoiling and shaking even in her sleep. Ryuji would sit upright and watch over her until sunrise, would try to pull her from the memories he knew haunted her. Haunted them both.

Looking at Akira, the striking familiarity of the situation made him want to hurl.

He didn’t move, no matter how strong the urge was to reach out and console his hurting best friend. Instead, he kept his voice quiet, just audible above the laboured sobs, and waited.

“You’re okay, Akira. You’re safe, I’m not goin’ anywhere, alright? You’ve got me, it’s okay-”

Slowly, the frantic scanning of the room stopped. Staring at the artificial yellow light that bathed Leblanc’s street, following it into the shadows of the attic, where dark figures seemed to fade away. The flash of blond in his vision, perfectly still, aside from the hushed mutterings leaving chapped lips.

Akira focused on that sound. It felt safe.

As Ryuji uttered soft words of reassurance, he watched the tension slowly leave Akira’s body. Shoulders slightly slouched, jaw unclenched, his lip was bleeding- but he could worry about that later. All that mattered was the softening of Akira’s lines, as he slowly came back to Ryuji.

Delicately as he dared, he reached out. Hand brushing against bruised skin, careful not to as much as press on the marred areas. For a moment, there was no response. He waited, watching the panic continue to leave until, slightly trembling, Akira’s hand interlaced with his own.

“Ryuji?” The hazed look in his eyes was clearing, staring at Ryuji with a newly discovered relief, which was quickly overtaken by shame, “Shit- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, just go back to sleep I’m fine-”

“Hey no, no man it’s okay, really-” Feeling Akira begin to pull away, Ryuji let his thumb run over the back of his hand, determinedly meeting Akira’s gaze, “I don’t mind.”

Akira opened his mouth, ready to retort and insist, but found himself silenced by the look in the other boy’s eyes. Ryuji’s hand was warm, and for a moment Akira forgot there were even any injuries there at all, thumb tracing over them with such a delicate touch he hadn’t known the blond to have possessed.

Staring into Ryuji’s eyes, he wondered at how they were always so open and unguarded, never with anything to hide- a true reflection of his best friend, passionate and honest to a fault. It was something Akira had often envied, that ability to always be his true self, to freely display his emotions. 

He almost took that back now, staring back into deep brown eyes. Eyes which so clearly reflected hurt and worry.

The raw concern so honestly displayed to him that, just in this moment, Akira decided he would allow himself to be vulnerable. Just this one time. Knowing that, as they had done for each other so many times before, Ryuji would never judge.

Hesitantly, Akira pulled his hand out of Ryuji’s and, ignoring the concerned look he got in return, allowed his hand to trace higher, around his forearm, pulling him closer with a silent plea.

As always, Ryuji understood.

Carefully reaching out, Ryuji wrapped his arms around Akira, pulling him to his chest. His touch is firm, but cautious of the bruising and bandages decorating Akira’s abdomen. Even then, careful as he was, the occasional shift sent twinges of pain up Akira’s spine. And yet, he found he didn’t mind- not when he was so surrounded by warmth and comfort and the steady beat of Ryuji’s heart just audible through his chest, that for a minute Akira feels like he can just forget-

Somehow, Ryuji shifts so they’re leaning against the back wall, Akira’s head resting high on Ryuji’s chest, ear pressed to his left side. Logically, Ryuji supposed now would be a good time to ask about what just happened, about the dark circles under Akira’s eyes and the fear still lingering when he caught sight of shadows in the room- but there would be other opportunities. When Akira wasn’t so damn exhausted and clinging to Ryuji like he’s the final lifeline holding Akira together. When neither of them would be waking up in the middle of the night, a frenzied mess, and worrying about suspicious strangers in public and carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Yeah, there would be other times to talk. But for now, Ryuji would stay with Akira and listen as his breathing mellowed out into deep breaths, as his grip on the blond weakened and he cuddled closer still, lost to the throes of sleep.

Ryuji will stay with him until the sun rises.

Neither of them were plagued by nightmares for the rest of the night.

[mementovivere]

✨if your ocs had to choose between saving their love interest or saving the world, which one would they choose? (this is such a common question on people's oc blogs but the answer always interests me)

omg I had so much fun answering this question, I've never though about this until now so thank you!!! 💜

it got pretty long so answer under the cut

saves their love interest

Innes Talovaire (A Mage Reborn) • the interesting thing about her choice is that it would be different pre-resurrection than post-resurrection so this answer is mostly post-resurrection. there is no official LI for her atm but no matter who she romances the answer would still be the same. the world has done nothing but bring her pain, and after the way their treated her she feels as if she owes nothing to them so she would not feel guilty at all about for sacrificing the world. *pre-resurrection she would have saved the world, unless Eli was alive in that case she would have saved him*

Maeve Peg'asi (Andromeda 6) • it comes as no surprise to me that she would save Damon but it was surprising that she would feel a bit of guilt about it. the world has not done anything to her, it mostly just came from her family, so she would feel bad to bring this to them, especially to the crew. she wouldn't exactly regret her choice but it would take a while for her to stop thinking about it.

Brynn Delvaux (When the Night Comes) • she would definitely struggle with this one. her reflexes would have made her save the world since she is a hunter and that is what they are taught to do but in the end she would save Alkar because her love for him is stronger than her sense for duty. she would mourn the lives lost, of course, but she would not feel guilty or regret her choice.

Kira Seong (Perfumare) and Jennifer Jones (Sentinel) • their reasoning would be the same: Reed and Shaw are all they have. they wouldn't even hesitate. Jennifer, however, would feel guilty for not even thinking about it but not guilty enough to regret her choice.

Amaris Voight • it angers her. it angers her to be in this situation and it angers her to be this conflicted about it. she's a hero, she's done so much for the citizens and has given up so much for them but they love her since she is their savior... but what kind of savior is she when she's thinking of sacrificing them to save the villain that she loves? she would wait until the last moment possible to make her choice, if only to decrease the guilt. would she regret her choice? only time will tell.

Blaise Montague • he has waited for Eden for so long. has found her time and time again in every single one of her lives. he knows she will come back, she always does. but he will not risk it. he wouldn't even hesitate. would not need to be asked twice and he doesn't need to confirm his choice. he will save her, he will always save her.

saves the world

Kai Morgenstern (Keeper of the Sun and Moon) • this one came as a surprise for me the more i thought about it because Kai doesn't really care about the world, especially NMC since they gave her no other choice but to stay while all she wanted to do was forget what had happened and go back to her old "boring human life" where all she had to worry about was passing her finals in college, not what kind of creature will try to kill her next. and she loves Leon, she really does, and she would do everything for him. but saving the world means saving her dad and her aunt, and Kai would never forgive herself if something were to happen to them because of her. she would be devastated when making the choice and would even apologize to Leon but she wouldn't change her mind. *however if the choices were to save the people she loves or save the world then she would not hesitate to save her loved ones*

Connie Navarro (Keeper of the Sun and Moon) • don't do this to her, she can't take it. she's a keeper so it is her duty to save the world but Altair is the love of her life and she can't do that to him. she would have to be consoled by Altair or her mom or literally anyone around her but she would eventually choose the world. she would be saying "im sorry", "forgive me" and "i love you" to him over and over again until it happened. this made me so sad but this would honestly change her. she would try to justify it, to say that it was one life vs millions but whether she's trying to convince herself or everyone else...

Aspen Peg'asi (Andromeda 6) • i was going to do Aspen until i realized her answer would be the same as Connie, just changing Altair to June. though she would take it the worst since June saved her and she couldn't do this for him.

Angelina Hawthorne • out of everyone here, she's the one most likely to actually regret her choice. she is a hero, she has protected her classmates countless of times and even fought a war for the freedom of people so between her and Brynn, Angelina is the one that actually goes with her reflexes and saves the world. that is her undoing in the end, not actually trying to fight it and make a different choice. the more people mention it, the more she breaks.

Dorian Sinclaire • he is a hero, the son of Zeus. he has been taught since a very young age to fight for the people, to give up everything for them. and he would. the only consolation he has is the fact that his partner would do the same. however, he will try to forget about it and would snap at everyone who mentions it. will take the "ignorance is a bliss" to a whole new level.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go

ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution

hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.

its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out

oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!

ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)

ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)

thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)

ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e

yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.

"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.

falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.

i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.

bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.

my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!

DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.

[moonlitmessages]

Reasons I think Saeyoung has ADHD

- Messy house. Hard to keep it clean. Everything just kinda piles up and he relies on Vanderwood to not live in a pig sty.

- He says early in his route (day five first story mode I think. When Vanderwood is first introduced) he says that Dr. Pepper helps him focus. He drinks it and gets super focused, but then the mess piles up even more because of the soda cans.

- Super smart, especially about very specific niches. I mean he's smart in general but also has his Thing™ (this can be applied to both ADHD and the autistic spectrum. )

- Insomnia. This is part of his work obviously as well but he's clear about the fact that his sleep schedule is hecking out of whack.

- Can't focus?? Let's do everything besides the thing we need to do. Even though it will do nothing to help the situation at hand.

- Cars. Going nyoom down the road could help with stimulation and sensory issues that come with ADHD. Something about the speed just makes it make sense.

- Hyperfocus. "Don't bother me I'm trying to work". Being so focused on work that he doesn't take the time to really even order a hot meal. Forgets to eat and sleep sometimes because of it. (a lot of instances it's simply that he CAN'T or he won't meet deadlines too so that also has to be kept in mind). Building robots out of thin air too is an example.

- Inattentive. When not super focused its almost like a disinterest in anything. His focus is on MC? Well gotta do something for MC. She'll like a flamethrower pup. That will keep her safe. Wait no it wont...I thought it would tho. Gotta work!! No but MC isn't safe. (Inattentive to his work cause super focused on MC)

Symptoms of ADHD include:

Disorganization 

     - This goes along with the messy house. There’s a picture where he’s shown surrounded by chip crumbs. Vanderwood claims that his couch smells like soda. There are likely aspects in which he can actually be quite organized, but those would likely be in reference to his job, and computer/automotive repair.

Lack of focus 

    - This happens a little bit through different routes, where he complains about not being able to focus and doing some procrastinating, but for the most part the biggest example is the very beginning of his route where his focus is faltered because his mind is on MC. While that is a normal reaction to have for anyone regarding what was going on, it can’t be ignored that 1.) He WAS unfocused to the point he couldn’t do anything besides worry, or work on things that ‘Could help protect MC” regardless of if they were useful or not. and 2.) Dr. Pepper is part of the reason he is able to focus on things when he DOES focus. He says this himself in the first story-mode for his route. That he drinks it, then gets super focused. Caffeine has been proven to actually help the ADHD brain focus.

Act or speak without thinking 

    - “Im leaving the RFA”, breaking the RoboCat, and some of his procrastinating during his route could be considered put into this category. Also, I know he is by all technicalities saying things with thought in regard to MC when he’s saying hurtful stuff, however I still think it could be put in here because while it was said with the thought “I want to make sure MC stays away from me so she will be safe,” it’s without thinking about how he feels/what he wants and he ends up regretting it down the road.

Restlessness 

    - Lets see, he has trouble focusing and when he can’t focus he ends up doing other stuff to keep his hands and mind busy. He has sleep troubles. I doubt he can sit still very easily if he isn’t super-focused on something life-or-death and/or a special interest. A good example could once again be the robo-animals he built. His focus was somewhere else, there’s little he can do to remedy the situation, he gets restless and tries to occupy himself with something he CAN focus on.

Difficulty coping with stress 

    - Source: His Whole Route

Mood Swings 

    - What I’m seeing as mood swings could also just easily be his stress and anxiety in the situation during his route causing him to bounce back and forth/ the mask he tries to put up to protect MC from getting involved with him being thrown up when he feels like he’s letting her to close. But nonetheless there are points where he will just seem sad and melancholy then get angry. 

Anxiety 

   - I mean idrk how to explain this one for him, I don’t necessarily think that he has social anxiety, but maybe general anxiety (tho I’m not really sure how to explain how I see that in him) but regardless when he does experience pressure, he seems to have heightened anxiety levels. It just makes sense in my head so take this one a little lighter than the others. 

Low self esteem 

    - ‘I’m not a good person” “Why do you like me?” I would say that when it comes to his looks he’s fairly confident. But when it comes to his personality (I mean he has a whole identity crisis) and actions, it’s a whole other story. He puts himself down a lot because he genuinely thinks that he doesn’t deserve MC and that she should be with someone better than him.

Impulsiveness 

    - Again, breaking Robocat. Felt impulsive and done without thought. His car rides could also be considered impulsive depending on how risky and speedy they may be. I recall at one point he texts MC while driving. 

Trouble controlling anger 

    - Source: His Whole Route

Procrastination 

   - I feel like I keep bringing up the robo animals a lot, but they were also a form of procrastinating his work. (I suppose there are a lot of things that could be tied to those animals then, or maybe I’m just reading to deep into things). Uhm, idk I can’t think of anymore examples atm, and I know he tries not to procrastinate super important stuff. I feel like if I were to play the game again (it’s been a couple weeks) I would be able to find more examples for this even on a minor scale. Sometimes him teasing Yoosung could be seen as both him trying to relieve some stress and put off doing his work.

~•⭐ D e p r e s s i o n ⭐•~ 

- Yes I know his depression comes from trauma and abuse. However ADHD overlaps with different disorders quite commonly. A lot of his ADHD symptoms overlap with depression as well, such as the disorganization, mood swings, and insomnia. And depression can very often accompany ADHD too just simply due to the fact that mental illnesses do tend to come in multiples, and also the ADHD itself can be a contributor to depression.

Those are 12 different signs that he might have ADHD...and of course I’m no doctor. Everything that I listed were things that I found through an attempt to analyze him and his route, and online research regarding ADHD. I’m sure there are things I might have over-analyzed and taken some things out of context as it has been a couple weeks since I finished his route...So feel free to add your own thoughts/opinions, regardless of if you think I’m right or wrong. This has been in my drafts for a while and I finally got it finished and will likely go through editing later but I want to post it now. If anything is hard to understand let me know and it will get fixed to the best of my ability.

[riskeith]

good morning love! (or afternoon for you hehe)

deku vs kacchan part 2 is my favorite ep of the entire series actually. i’ve watch that ep so many times as well it’s just perfect. i got into them when i watched that episode actually! the voice acting god..... literally shivers. now that i think about it it might even be my favorite anime ep of all time help. i just love how bakugou lets it all out and we get to see that side of him.. the insecure scared child he tries to hide. god i could ramble about it forever idk just love it. OH YOU WATCHED THE MOVE RIGHT AFTER? a scene with bakugou and todoroki is guaranteed a good time.. and they work so well together. haha that’s such a nice coincidence tho their dynamic is great in that movie even if it’s mostly kiribaku sjsksjk. what do you think about kiribaku btw?

RIGHT!!! at least we have a couple days to decide hihi.... paimon no longer emergency snack.. only seelie. 🥴 oooh? what kind of thing have you envisioned? (if you wanna share ofc!)

i’ve seen so many people mention that!! like one of the worst parts of the game is that in the higher level you get the less there are to do.. ssjksjdk at some point all you can do is grind domains and try to level up shdkdfhdj

LEVEL 40 INTO A LEVEL 70+ FIGHT ok that’s honestly hilariously brave doesn’t she like die right away 😔 oh yeah you’ll be leveling up Again soon *praying for you*... can’t believe they don’t keep the easy bosses anymore sjdkfh that’s so rude. this game is just grind grind grind. WE NEED A BENNY STORY SO BADLY. like imagine a story with him wanting to seek out diluc because he wants to learn how to fight from a master or something like that. i saw it in a comic and i can’t stop thinking about it 😭 all of them deserve stories!!! there’s so many ways they could make it happen pls mihoyo... chongyun x xingqiu story... <333

shfkjdskdjhf nope right now i’m playing with noelle as my main damage dealer, traveller, lisa and barbara actually. so i think i have a pretty good balance atm.. 2 long range 2 short range-ish. i usually trade out barbara for another character if i have to tho, hehe. that’s only combat though ^ benny is with me when we explore. mood is me having a 5 star and not even using her... i still need to think of ways qiqi could fit into the group yk. is your group still looking the same as before? ooooh if you could rank the elements what would your ranking look like?

172!!!!! that’s a bit short though when you said tall i thought like... 190 or something sjksjdxk. wait how tall are You?

oh i just meant like... people bashing others for spending too much money on the game vs those that bash people for not spending money and complaining that they don’t get 5 star etc? idk yt comments can be so ugly though so it’s a good thing that you don’t read them sjdjdjdkd

that’s super smart!!! you just follow along the plan and delete when you come to the part. must feel so satisfying too i imagine. haha, what little notes i have i put in the notes app and just check up on when i need to. sometimes i even forget they’re there shdkdhsks. my notes are filled with half-assed dialogue or random one words notes that don’t make any sense to me anymore.. nskdhddjdj

you’re right!! so you write at night? sometimes i just open docs on my phone and write a bit before i sleep and when i wake up it’s either a grammatical mess or just... super bad hskshd the brain is simply too tired to create anything shakespeareian

nooo i’ll def check these out and let you know what i think. i’ve seen halsey being in pretty much every klance playlist on spotify so i imagine she portrays their vibes pretty nicely. doesn’t she have a song she sings about being blue and red or something... shdjfhdj such a bad description but i see it being used in edits a lot. also now that i think of it melanie has a song called pacify her that i really like!! do you like it?

THATS SO CUTE YOU ARE A CRYBABY. 🥺 same here tbh i actually like crying sometimes... sjskdjdjd like you said it just feels nice to get it all out. i cry to almost movie or series or book i read i’m a super emotional person but i also think it adds to the experience? you feel more immersed in it that way.

RIGHT??? ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! and it’s our boys 😭 and they’re cuddling 😭 under the sun 😭 ssjdjdhdjdj 😭

can’t wait to hear from you again <3 yours, ma <3

good night! more like ahhah

:o!! that’s so legendary of them wow.. <33 and yeah honestly the voice acting is phenomenal.. and all the implications behind the fight too? bakugou finally opening up? midoriya understanding that what he needs is to fight him? ugh. kiribaku is fine! fhdsjfks my brain is so full of todobaku that any other ship is really just... in the background hfskjfs but i can appreciate the relationship they have! with kiri being the only one bakugou has really acknowledged and seeing as being on the same level, that iconic hand clasp when bakugou was being rescued... i have a kiribaku fic in my drafts but idk if i can ever get to it ahha. you like them a lot right?

ikkk also i didn’t know we had to wait until the very end to buy? i have more than enough to buy it rn but when i clicked it said ‘must explore area 14 first’ and i was just... bruh. AHAHAH. okay so in my mind it’s like.. chongyun at a funky angle we’re kinda looking up at him and his body is like bent down towards us fhsdkjs idk how to describe it but i can picture it very well but i also cannot put it to paper/screen. and then his clothes are just black instead of white! HAHAH. tho i kinda wanna see if i can draw a xiao first to offer up to the gacha gods hfsdjkfs (and if i can i’ll do a version w a dark outfit too for u hehe)

legitttt im literally just logging in and grinding the talent domains every day fhsdkjfhskfhjd there are some artifacts i want as well but the domain is literally SO difficult for me fuck.

i just go in and use her skill then heal a bit and switch right away fhsdkjfsd it going alright! and then i go ham with my other 3 charas and switch back to her to heal again fhskfjd. OMGGG that’s so cute please... i miss diluc too... come back!! i wish we had a way to replay the old quests even if we get nothing out of them like i just wanna experience it again ya know.

oooo! that’s pretty nice. hfskjd you could switch barbara out for qiqi! since she’s a healer as well. omg wait you have lumine right? so your combat team has no males? legendary 😩 we love fighting queens! ya! traveller, chongyun, xiangling, fischl. and then i switch depending on the domain/boss i’m gonna fight. hmm elements I think would go: anemo, cryo, electro, pyro, hydro, geo, dendro? LMAO i reckon if i had diluc tho pyro would be higher... i also almost forgot to add geo to that list lmaooooooo oops, hbu??

I JUST SAW THE LINK.... AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! the bestest boys look how cute they’re sjdkfjdjjdd i’m obsessed. the picture where benny has his back turned sjdudjdjddnd stop. 🥺 they’re so neat. 🥺 also NO ARE YOU SERIOUS? that’s so upsetting are you gonna try it out nonetheless or do you think it’s too risky?

they’re SO neat!!! and bennett facing the other way was so fhskjfd yeah cute <3333333 I KNOWWW IM SO SAD :((( and no...... im not gonna try 😭😭😭 i told my brother about it too and he asked how many rolls i was at and i said 70 and he was straight up ‘you can’t try then’ and i was like ‘i know 😔😔’. @ xiao... i am giving up xingqiu rate up for you 😤😤😤😤 ugh i hope i can still get xingqiu in xiao’s banner tho even tho the chances will be shit. are you gonna roll ganyu’s banner?

FHSKJFSD NOOOOOO don’t tell me 172 is average for you wtf... (apparently the average male height in japan is 160cm! for reference ahah) and i myself am. one hundred and. fifty something cm hfsdjfhskjdfhskdjfhw9uehdsifhwsdkjfhsdkfhsd 😔 big sighs lmaoooooooo. how tall are you? (im assuming much taller 😔😔😔😔😔)

ooh notes app? nice ahaha. fhdkjfhskfsk hdthat’s the mood tho! if i don’t have my laptop with me i’ll write out everything on notes first then transfer to my laptop~

AHAHAH yeahhh i think mostly i do? bc during school times i’ll only write after i’m done with my work which = night time. for a while Peak writing time for me was like 1am lmfao but i do that in a like half-asleep half-conscious state so when i come back the next day at a “normal” time i run into the same issue as you fshdfkjshfs

she does!!! it’s called colours 😩 but i think the one i related to voltron most is control! there was this really good shiro edit with that song i still remember it to this day <3 yeah i do!!! i like most of melanie’s songs actually ahahah. i think my favourite for a while was show and tell~

it totally does!! like it’s satisfying as well you know... like the characters have gone through so much and you experienced that with them so it’s natural to get emotional about it. that reminds me, what kind of books do/did you read? did you read all Those YA novels ahah talking about crying has reminded me how i cried reading those..

<333 i wanna be there with them 😩 actually no i want to BE them 😩😩😩

eager for your response <33 love, c.r.

[sharp-teeth-and-archived]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐀 𝐑𝐏 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓 / 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat. Long post!

MUN NAME: Bambi / Eden     AGE: 18       CONTACT: IM, Ask, Discord (search discord up on my blog)

CHARACTER(S): a shit ton

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Dragon Age, rdr2, assassin’s creed, star wars (sorta??)

FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR:  Modern verse, r.dr2, da, skyrim (haven’t touched my bio for it for a while so I may have to touch it up a bit) and that’s pretty much it for any au verse. They’re just crossover verses.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / SCIENCE FICTION / HORROR / WESTERN ( my brand ) / ROMANCE / THRILLER / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / EROTIC / CRIME / MYTHOLOGY / CLASSIC / HISTORY (my 2nd brand) / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / ANCIENT / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / SPORT / MUSIC / SCIENCE / FIGHTS / ANGST / SMUT / DRAMA / ETC.  ( I’m open to most things, it just depends on plot & muse )

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: ONE-LINER (it happens but I tend to not favor it) / 1 PARA / 2 PARA / 3+ PARA / NOVELLA. / ALL

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES / NO / OCCASIONALLY   - only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / CASUAL / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. / ALL

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. 

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ WEEKS / MONTHS / YEARS. / DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY

I’M OKAY INTERACTING WITH: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / A RELATIVE OF MY CHARACTER (AN OC) / DUPLICATES / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / SELF-INSERTS / PEOPLE WITH NO AU VERSE FOR MY FANDOM (really depends on if you have oen in mind and we discussed it, it’s just not posted) / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. ( varies, but overall I tend to post more ooc? )

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING:  im me or talk to me over discord

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: Not too much? I’d like for there to be a plot in mind, but I can understand if that’s not the case. I’ve had instances where I want to interact with a character, but have absolutely no idea in mind. Usually sendign in an ask meme can help in that regard.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?:  I strive to not be one-sided myself, but I do have instances where I can’t think of anything. I’m not sure? Maybe ask the other person if they’re into it or if something else is at play (dealign with real life problems and it just affects their mood voerall).

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  I always try to give ideas of my own if I have any. Coming to a equally agreed, general idea is fine. I’ve had instances where I was on both sides of this, but I always try to add input and be equal with the other person.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - AND WHY?: Sometimes I don’t notice it, but sometimes I do. Generally, I like to know, but I understand if someone doesn’t wan tto reach out. Just at least try to let me know and we’re fine. 

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?:  It depends really. Sometimes I just don’t have muse for a thread, or an instance where I have dropped a muse entirely. Sometimes it can be timing, but that’s rarely the issue. Most of the time it’s just I can’t think of anything and I feel like it hasn’t really gone anywhere? I have stuff in my queue for a while, so soemtimes it appears that way until it’s posted and I’m sorry about that.

WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. ( I do have instances where I was forgetful and I haven’t told my partner int he apst adn I’m sorry about that. )

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO. - AND WHY?: I don’t need to be tlaked every day, but stronger friendships ( ooc & ic ) are formed when I talk to a person. It doesn’t need to be often, but it helps me understand your chaarcter and your approach. With that, I can come up with ideas and understand you rmuse more. I understand if people aren’t fond of ooc chatting, that’s completely understandable to me.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: Criticsm is a good way to grow. Criticsm is different from completely bashing a perosn’s portrayal and not giving any pointers (ex: “your portrayal sucks.”). Or even for a person. If you feel like I am portraying something wrong, like depression or something similar, let me know. If you feel like Lydia’s adhd isn’t properly portrayed, let me know. 

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: All of my muses are written and taken an interest in for different reasons, sometimes I don’t even know why I decided to write them. I roleplay because I love exploring different characters and dyanamics and it’s easier for me to write like this than forming my own story. But a goal in mind? Be a good rp partner I guess? Or at least try to make things interesting and try my best to portray my characters correctly or in an intruiging manner. 

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  Varies on muse. I have different plots in my wishlist tag: ( wishlist ). 

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE:   Potential triggering content ahead. Rape, noncon, abuse, incest, drug use -not alcohol- ( lyrium I can write fine, it’s just the realistic stuff I can’t do. ), inappropiate under age stuff. Themes where I write a stalker. Sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and racism will never be mentioned by any of my characters. I won’t write smut probably ever, so themes with that I tend to not write. Very likely more, I just can’t think of anything. Within dragon age, I do have a characetr ( Sera ) who will refer to elves as elfy-elves and be pretty anti-elf, which can be triggering to others. Also, animal abuse or gore of any kind.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: I can’t work with starters that don’t really have any dialogue (handing something over with nothing vocally said is fine, but when someone is just sitting there, that’s harder to work with unless somethign is plotted). Generally, I like outside circumstances to be explained (locaiton, where in a game/setting this might be occuring, etc), I really like when dialogue is added and body landguage is explained/noted.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  Honestly? it varies. I tend to really be into deep, complex characters or characters that appear can be sterred in that direction with more added. Bubbly, energetic characters, fighters (typically female). Quick witted or flirty characters & mysterious types. 

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?:  I hate using the term but mary-sue/gary-sue. I hate saying that, but if a character has no flaws, I won’t be interested. Or characters that seem to just be placed there with no development. 

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I try to add as much effort, or at least a lot of effort, in replies & interaction. I am very open-minded and when I get passionate about soemthing, you can really tell. I am easy-going, so feel free to tell me if you want to drop a thread or have a concern. I tend to work well of other’s people’s ideas, usually able to add my own.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I am slow and my queue tends to be slow since I try not to overhwelm myself and stress myself out to the heavens. I try to reach out, but sometimes I just can’t think of anything to say. My muse can be very flickle at times, so replies to stuff can vary. My msue tends to be more for ask memes than replies at times. 

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. 

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN, FADE TO BLACK?: YES / NO.

WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?:

ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?:  all of it

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?:   YES / NO 

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. ( I love ships, but I am selective with it and require chemistry -unless I know your muse and you occ super, super well-. It’s nice but it isn’t he full focus of this blog. I want to explore my characters and witness other people’s characters and their development. )

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / SINGLE-SHIP ( Jacob ) / DUAL-SHIP  —  MULTIVERSE / SINGLEVERSE.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: Varies on muse, but for my rdr2 characters I’ve been really wanting a sorta of “outside” character where they aren’t directly involved in the gang, but they are in a relationship with oen of their members. Where my muse,w hose in the gang, will tell you rmuse about it and the whole aftermath of everything. Where their partner will understand to an extent, but try to undestand? if that makes sense? I also want enemies to work on a job/project together and deal with that. But this all also varies on muse.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.  ( I find it easier to write to assume people knwo each other, but an immediate friendship isn’t required. Like my muse may know yours or hear about yours, but they haven’t directly met you before ). 

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: I have a large amount of different muses, but all of my muses all bring something new to the table. Want a guy who seems nice, but can be an asshole with a flick of a dime, who has a secret betrayal plot hidden behind his back? Pick Robert. Want a guy who’s humurous but seems to be hiding under a fake persona? Pick Charley. Want a female assassin who’s very talented anr professional in her work to a fault with her work-alcoholic ways? Pick Evie. Want a sweet and caring character with a heart of gold and will give you advice and comfort? Pick Cassie It depends on the plot, too, but I try my best to add as much to reply to to another. If you ever want more added, tell me! I could give multiple plots, so it’s really hard to put something down.

WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  If someone isn’t interested or outwardly hateful of my muse without a valid reason when starting to interact. Beign enemies is fine, but maybe we could write how it became that way? This really varies, so don’t let this steer you away. Just give me something to work with, brign soemthing to the tbale, and I’m usually fine.

WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, WHAT IS THEIR GOAL?:  Varies on muse. Robert: fame/recognition, a legend made out of him. Charley: just to live life happy? He wants to be okay money-wise. Evie: to take down the Templars & help the people of London, not fail and always be successful and outwit her foes. Cassie: everyone around her happy. Sean: His gang to be successful, btu also be sucessful himself, he wants to be admired as well.

WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  Just using the same muses lmao. Robert: Someone who just listens to him and isn’t quick to make fun of him. Charley: If they have a sense of humor and someone he can stand, he’s pretty much fine tbh. Evie: If they can give her any information or aid with her cause. Cassie: How they are feeling. If they let her just listen and seem more open than closed off. Very personality-based. Sean: soemtimes looks, but mostly if they have a similar personality as him.

WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  Evie: devotion, kind spriit, efficiency, loyalty. Robert: willingness and empathy despite having little himself. Charley: Honesty. Cassie: Consistency. Sean: reliability. 

WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  generally all of them like books (except Sean), events around them, their interests.

WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?:  For half of them, anything mundane or boring. Anything that isn’t relating to anything that’s spoken around / surrounds them.

DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  Robert & Charley (more Robert) witnessed a murder, Robert actually doing that act. Cassie: hearing about the violent nature of her father’s death. Sean: the things he went through with the bounty hunters.

WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  A gunshot or anything that could overpower them.

IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  Sean: rich people, Scots for some reason, English people sometimes. When someone disagrees with him on soemthing he is passionate about. Pronouncing and Irish word wrong. O’Driscolls & anyone that’s an enemy of the gang. Evie: Templars, Starrick & Lucy Thorne. People who lie or misled her or others. Injustice. Robert: Someone makign fun of him tbh. Charley: People who don’t plan out anything or are really reckless.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO.    - BEST WAY TO APPROACH THEM?: Talk to them. Initiate a conversation. Pretty much that across the board. 

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: None of my muses are perfect. Some are worse than others, but generally msot of my muses will listen to you and usually be nice to you if you appraoch them well. All my muses are different from one another, so expect different results / reactions

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

TAGGED: stole it

 TAGGING: steal it and pelase tag me ! I want to see your results

[aenslem]

Ask game for Madam Spellman! 😁

Hey anon, thanks for the ask 😊

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them: probably the moment lilith walked down the stairs and zelda looked at her 😁

My thoughts: i have too many thoughts about them, but honestly who cares? Even i stopped caring about it at all, the last season was not what i expected, and i am not talking about the ship here, but s2 made them high priestess and queen and all was good and then suddenly we are back on s1 level of character development for some. Or just idk they dont need to be so cruel to some characters but they are, while also praising other characters dumb decisions... whatever, i think the ship is great, at least in my dreams, i am not sure it would work on screen tho, since we have no interactions between characters, but that ep6 or whatever episode it was where lilith comes for help and zelda just says no was like... idk, but, yes she is lilith and bad guy and all, but she was the one helping you in the first place, you would not be where you are without her at all??? And also forgetting lilith has powers and also forgetting that lilith actually was badass agains satan in p2 and then suddenly runs away without fighting, i know there are a lot of issues here but honestly, in p2 it was all a little different and suddenly none of it is in p3...🤦‍♀️ to make madam spellman work they need actually work on their relationship in the show but it seems like this show does not even care about characters on their own and what they have been through, so i dont even want them to make ms in the show. 🤷‍♀️

What makes me happy about them: miranda and michelle 😂 seriously nothing this show puts them through makes me happy. Whatever makes me happy about them is always what cast is doing, especially how supportive they are.

What makes me sad about them: everything i wrote above and more but too much negative feelings to write it all atm

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: honestly have not read much, and whatever i read is not enough to say anything.

Things I look for in fanfic: i don't?? I honestly like ms in my head only 🤷‍♀️ in the beginning when i tried to read i was mostly searching for aus, because whatever could be done in the caos world always was about more suffering for them or so ooc i could not read.

My wishlist: can they finish with p4 and let them just live and not suffer?

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: lilith should end up being the queen, but not as in sabrina just does not want it so she gives lilith the throne, i want her to get it herself and be the queen, that is the perfect ending for me with lilith, i dont want her to be with anyone even zelda in the show, she has been through enough and needs some time to be herself and love herself for awhile. As for zelda, i just hope mambo marie is not some villain pretending to be good or whatever and zelda will not end up suffering more, so if she is good to her and cares for zelda then let her be with mambo marie. I will be ok with it. I know i made cracks on that topic and all, but i feel like no one actually git the point what irritated me with zarie in general.

My happily ever after for them: in the show? Them being queen and high priestess of whatever new church they will have and not be in relationship, just have some time on their own, and then slowly working with each other and developing feelings, i dont really want them to have just some passion and angry sex or whatever, even though that is my thing most of the time lmao i want them more as two women supporting each other and understanding each other, and respecting each other and only after that starting to actually care about each other in more ways 😊 but hey, this show sucks and we will never have anything good there and probably lilith will die in the end just for the sake of drama and let's be honest brina will never be a good candidate for a queen while lilith lives 🙄🤦‍♀️

Anyway dont mind typos im on mobile 🤷‍♀️😁

[heystuckstuck]

doll parts part one

eridan ampora x reader

part one ==> HERE

part two ==> coming soon!!! <3

YOU ==> WAKE UP

You do. You are sprawled out on your own bed, which is soft, softer than anything you’ve slept on in awhile. You are lying on your stomach, your arms crooked under your pillow to support your head. This is the way you almost always sleep. Your phone dings to the left side of your head, and you blearily shift to your side to check it. It would appear that someone is trying to get ahold of you.

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trollling chumHandle [CH]

CC: )(-Ey t)(-Er-E, Y/N!

CC: )(ow ar-E you f-E-Eling today?

CH: im feeling fairly pleasant atm

CH: just woke up

CH: you?

CC: I’m FINTASTIC!!!

CC: )(-E-E )(-E-E

CH: cute

CH: glad to see youre still doing the fish pun thing

CH: why exactly do you do it?

CC: I lik-E fish

CC: SO!!!

CH: :?

CC: ar-E you coming to my party tonight?

CC: I r-E-Elly hope so!

CH: shore

CH: ;)

CC: Aww )(-E-E )( -E-E!

CC: You us-Ed a fish pun

CC: )(ow glubbing cut-E!

CH: thank you, fef

CC: And don’t fr-Et!

CC: W-E’ll have som-Ebody watch out for you!

CC: So what )(app-En-Ed last tim-E won’t )(app-En again!

CH: …

CC: I’m sorry!

CC: I shouldn’t )(av-E brought it up

CC: 38(

CH: no, that’s ok

CH: it happened

CH: it’s okay to talk about it

CC: )(ow was it?

CH: how was what?

CC: T)(-E )(ospital?

CH: it was ok

CH: im totally better

CC: I’m sure as s)(-Ell glad to )(-Ear it!

CC: Sollux and the cr-Ew will b-E t)(-Er-E to pick you up

CH: the crew?

CC: I’m not shor-E who it’ll b-E but Sollux is driving a bunch of our fri-Ends ov-Er

CC: I asked )(im to pick you up too!

CC: 38)

CH: thanks feferi

CH: youre the best

CC: I c-Ertainly try

CC: T)(-Er-E’s no way to wink at you wit)( my -Emoticon

CC: So just picture t)(at in your )(-Ead

CH: ;)

chumHandle [CH] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling chumHandle [CH]

TA: y/n

CH: sollux

TA: thii2 ii2 gonna be a really weiird que2tiion

TA: plea2e don’t get mad

TA: but

TA: would you fuck ed

CH: what why

TA: becau2e seniior year is almo2t here and iif he doe2nt lo2e hii2 viirgiiniity before hii2 biirthday ii can’t be hii2 friiend anymore

CH: what makes you so sure he’s a virgin

TA: y/n

CH: fair point

TA: ii ju2t know that you have 2ome pretty lax 2tandard2

CH: are you calling me a “2lut”

CH: is that what’s happening right now

TA: god no

TA: ii ju2t wanna get the ba2tard laiid

CH: fine, i’ll do it

TA: y/n you are a 2aiint

TA: 2eriiou2ly

TA: nobody el2e would touch that ugly fucker with a ten foot pole

CH: you and i both know that eridan isn’t ugly

CH: he’s actually quite handsome

TA: god gro22

TA: ju2t thank you

TA: you’re doiing u2 all a favor really

TA: ed fuck2 you and then he’ll 2hut hiis fuckiing iidiiot mouth about not fuckiing anythiing

CH: how many times are you gonna say fuck

TA: fuck

CH: that’s fair

CH: yeah i’ll do it

TA: cool

TA: fiinger gun2

TA: ii’ll piick you up at 6

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling chumHandle [CH]

Sollux is there for you promptly at six o’clock. You’re standing on the curb, waiting for him, when his familiarly tiny rusty red car pulls up alongside you. The music is so loud you can hear it through the closed doors and when you glance in the passenger’s side window, Aradia gestures her thumb back behind her. She must’ve called shotgun, or maybe Sollux got her first. You open the door to the backseat and clamber inside.

Karkat is on the far end, smushed into the door. He looks as disagreeable as always but he offers you a softer-than-usual smile as he adjusts his traditional black t-shirt. Eridan, in between the two of you, looks far more uncomfortable. You notice the way he is desperately trying not to look at you and in retaliation, you put a soft hand on his thigh. He looks as though he might faint, cheeks flushed and forehead beaded with sweat. He doesn’t say anything to you, but Karkat does.

“Alright, Y/N?”

Yes. Why wouldn’t you be?

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”

Karkat shrugs although from the hunch of his shoulders, you can tell he wants to argue. Everyone knows that he’s lying. You know he’s lying. You know why everybody wants to know if you’re alright. And frankly, it’s nobody’s fucking business.

Not even if they stroked your hair and whispered soft little nothings to you all the way to the emergency room. Not even then.

As you walk into the party, you notice a tall, slim figure posed at the front of the grand entrance hall. He’s smoking a cigarette and he has sunglasses on indoors. Dave Strider. He greets your friends casually but when he gets to you he falters and peers at you over the top of his shades.

“All better, Y/N?”

“Yes, I’m totally better. I eat almonds and yogurt and soup.” He nods curtly, but you can see the tension in his face. It would be difficult to miss, as difficult to miss as those reddish brown eyes of his. You remember the last time you saw them.

You were lying on your back with the left side of your face caked in vomit. Your limbs were seizing up and you wanted to scream but it was like your voice was invisible. Dave knelt over you, eyes as wide as saucers as he begged you to stay awake, please stay awake, oh god, what did you do, why did you do this, god no, please no, no no no no no nonononononononononono.

And you put your hand on his face and said, “Hello David.” Or tried to. You’re sure that what came out was a flubbed version.

“What did you take?” He’s begging you please tell him, tell him so he can get you to the hospital and they can pump your stomach, god please.

“13 valiums and a bottle of gin.” You try to tell him that you were just trying to float and stop your misery and stop the not eating and stop stop stop stop stop. But he can’t hear you. He screams out a feeble and watery Karkat and then you’re in a car with Karkat petting you and his mouth was moving but all you could hear were sirens. You wanted to sleep more than anything but Karkat kept shoving you awake and talking to you and telling you stories and begging you don’t go to sleep, no.

So you suppose if anyone has the right to ask you if you’re okay, it’s Dave, and you’d better tell him too. So you do, but you can tell that he doesn’t fully believe you, but to your relief, he leaves it.

The music is loud. It makes your ears numb. You see Feferi but you don’t go and say hi because she’s kissing Sollux on his mouth and tracing her fingers up his arm and you know you shouldn’t interrupt, so you don’t and push your way further through Feferi’s house. The lights are all pink and blue and hazy and you can’t see through the smoke in the air and you can taste the acrid tang of cigarettes in the back of your mouth, which makes it feel like cotton. You stumble and trip over something-someone lying on a beanbag on the floor, who doesn’t try to catch you when you fall into his bony chest.

“Well hey there, little sis, how’s it motherfuckin’ hangin’?” It’s Gamzee, with his dark, splotchy face and lazy looking eyes and dopey grin. He doesn’t help you up, the idea doesn’t even seem to occur to him. His eyes are bloodshot and his left hand’s slender fingers grip a short, lit blunt, which he offers to you.

“You want a hit?” Nobody except him in your friend group smokes pot. They drink and snort crushed up pills but they don’t smoke weed. You’ve tried it before, but only a few times. You didn’t like how it stung your throat and made you cough.

“Nah, that stuff makes you hungry.” That was your least favorite thing about it. The last time you smoked pot, you’d woken up naked on John’s couch with your hands and chest smeared in food goop and no memory of how it got there. You didn’t need that again. Gamzee doesn’t seem to mind, and just takes another drag.

“It’s no problem sis, more for me.” You watch him as he puffs on it again, noting the way the slight orange glow offsets the neon lights in the room.

“Anyway, chica, long time no see. How’s it been?” You shrug and Gamzee laughs.

“That’s so motherfuckin’ righteous, sister. Seriously, be all up and motherfuckin’ careful. Don’t want anything bad happening to you or anything.” You’re dumbstruck by the fact that Gamzee of all people, slow-witted, slow-reacting, oblivious, with a brain half-ruined y marijuana knows. God, how does Gamzee know?

“I saw you, all up and covered in that puke. Shit, y’know, it fuckin’ scared me. I love you and I don’t want you to die or anything. You were shaking and crying and everyone was all just sitting there, not knowing what to up and do. It was the opposite of a miracle. But maybe the fact that you’re not dead is a miracle and whatever god exists kept you alive for us. I’m motherfuckin’ happy about that. I’d miss you if you were dead. I think everybody would, even if they pretend they wouldn’t.”

Gamzee then punctuates his profound statement with a soft belch and he gives you a watery, peaceful smile, close-lipped, with his eyes shut. You return the smile, though yours is more strained than his because god just stop fucking talking about it.You get it. You don’t really want to be dead anymore but you wish everyone would stop reminding you of it. You want to forget as much as anybody else. You never wanted everyone to see you, shaking on the floor, eyes rolled up into the back of your head with foam oozing from between your lips all over your white tanktop, staining it pink. You want to forget. You want to forget Feferi screaming and and Sollux saying, hush, hush, FF, it’s okay, and Dave’s tears dribbling onto your face and getting into your mouth. They were salty on your numb tongue.

Gamzee’s hand begins to snake down the front of his sweatpants and you decide to leave before this gets awkward. You abandon Gamzee and trip on your way to the stairs, which you clamber up, on your way to Feferi’s second story bathroom. You don’t have to go, you just want to inspect Feferi’s mom’s medicine cabinet, see if she’s gotten anything new since the last time you were here, before. Before. Before you took John’s grandmother’s pills out of the kitchen and fell on the floor and Feferi screamed and Dave cried and Karkat crooned in your ear and you felt more loved than you ever had before, which was bullshit because of course everyone loves you when you try to die.

She doesn’t have anything new, you note with mild disappointment, pocketing some old pills that haven’t been touched since the last time you were here. You read the label before hiding them. Oxytocin. Pain pills. You shove it, along with your hands into your oversized maroon jacket, and just in time too, because the door you were certain you locked opens to your right. You turn and meet an abashed-looking Tavros, his face alcohol and embarrassment-flushed.

“Oh, I didn’t realize that anybody would be in here. I just needed to, um, well, yeah, you know.” He stumbles over his words and looks flustered, so you smile at him.

“Oh, that’s alright, I was just leaving.” You grab a tiny white paper cup, designed for mouthwash and fill it with water before exiting the bathroom, brushing past Tavros’s shoulder. He closes the door and you pull out the pills and take two with the shot of water you have. You aren’t addicted to popping pills, but it is an outstanding interest of yours. You wait a few minutes and then you feel fuzzy and it’s a bit like you’re walking on the ceiling as you trample down the hallway. You walk back down the stairs on watery legs, trying admirably not to fall on your face, which you don’t.

You walk to the kitchen, where Vriska is leaning with her back and elbows resting against the counter. Terezi and John are with her and you notice them eye you suspiciously as you open up all of the cabinets and count the cans inside.

“Hungry?” John asks, voice shaking a little bit. You remember seeing him, driving the car, speeding down the freeway, pedal to the metal. He kept frantically glancing back at you, blue eyes enormous, even more so than usual. Hs too-large front teeth were worrying his bottom lip and his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel. You know why his voice is shaking. You’re starting to get tired of this.

“No.”

“What’re you doing then?”

“Counting.”

“Okay,” he says, sounding uneasy. God, why can’t people just stop being fucking worried about you? Why does John have to quirk his perfectly arched and adorable eyebrows at you like that? Why does he have to bite his lip and why does goddamn Vriska of all people look worried about you? You know perfectly well the reason why, but you don’t care. You don’t care that they all saw you. That everyone knows. You couldn’t care less.

You exist through the backdoor in the kitchen because you need some air, jesus. You can’t stand the way they all look at you, with such pity and fear. It was a mistake and you’ll never live it down because you scared everybody shitless. You take a deep breath of untainted air and somebody sighs right after you exhale. What the hell?

“What the hell?” You glance around and huddled at your feet is Eridan, his floral short-sleeve button down too tight in the arms. He’s wearing slacks too, which is such an Eridan thing to do and you are filled with an overwhelming surge of affection toward your friend. This is all he is, your friend. Your friend that might fuck you later, according to Sollux.

You flop down next to him. He doesn’t react, just takes a long sip from his red plastic cup. It’s probably beer, which you’re sure upsets his sensitive palette but he’s actively not complaining in dramatic, emotional theatrics for once so you don’t question it.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“What’re you doing out here, ‘Dan?”

“Everywhere else was full.” It’s true. All of your friends are rambunctiously partying in every corner of Feferi’s party. Except the bedrooms, you suppose. But maybe Feferi and Sollux have already made their way there, you know they will eventually and Feferi will call you tomorrow and tell you all about it. You know every detail of her sex life. She knows every detail of yours and while you are always supportive, sometimes she frowns at you and shakes her head.

“Ah.”

You’re both silent for awhile, the only sounds being of your breath and Eridan sipping his beer solemnly and yet, delicately. Feferi has a trampoline in her backyard and you haven’t jumped around and just had fun in god knows how long so you get up and offer your hand to Eridan. He accepts, although with a cocked eyebrow, and his hand still firmly in yours, you guide him to the trampoline.

“Really, Y/N? You wanna play on the goddamn trampoline? That’s fairly, just, it’s juvenile, don’t you think?”

“Yes, absolutely.” And you take off your shoes and fling your body onto the black netting and bounce a few times. Eridan hesitantly follows you.

“What if someone sees us?”

“Let them. We’re young and you’re drunk and I want to fly,” you say, leaping into the air and coming down with a spring. Eridan doesn’t jump at first, not until you grab his sleeve and tug on it and oh, Danny, I’m having so much fun, I’m flying, this is like the fucking Notebook, I’m a fucking bird, tell me I’m a bird like the Notebook. You’re laughing hysterically at yourself and Eridan is fucking giggling at you and then he starts jumping too and you dance in circles with only the soundtrack of summer cicadas to keep a melody. You grab his hands and his fingers twine with yours and suddenly he’s falling and you’re bouncing your back against the trampoline, narrowly avoiding hitting your head as Eridan lands on top of you and bounces off but only after squishing the life out of you.

You’re laughing so hard no sound is coming out and you’re gasping and so is he and you grab his hand from where he’s laying beside you.

You look up at the stars. You haven’t seen the stars in over six weeks. You missed them.

“So, how are you, Y/N? I’m sure sorry that I couldn’t come an’ visit you.” You do the best shrug you can while lying down.

“Nobody was allowed to visit me, except in the ER.”

“Still, I should’ve come. Fef went. John went.”

“They’re the only ones that did.”

“Really?” His voice is incredulous.

“Everyone texted. Until I had to go to the psych ward. Then I wasn’t allowed texts anymore.”

“Yeah, I know.”

You don’t want to be sad anymore so you change the subject.

“Eridan?”

“Hm?”

“Are you going to fuck me later?” He chokes, a loud spluttering cough, and jerks up to lay on his arm, staring down at you.

“What?!”

“Sollux told me that you were going to.”

“God, oh fuck, he told me-he-he said-he told me you didn’t know!”

“I know.”

“Well, I know that now!”

“It’s okay. If you want to, I’m okay with it.”

“Okay with what?”

“You fucking me.”

His face flared red, which was a feat in and of itself because his skin was soft brown. He looked beautiful in the starlight: his eyes, a gorgeous golden-hazel with long, dark lashes, his nose sturdy and strong, his lips fairly thick and soft and most especially the freckle he had, on the left corner of his bottom lip. His hair fell in his face, dark brown and highlighted by a thick bleached streak in the front. He wasn’t just pretty, not just beautiful, he was gorgeous. You wouldn’t mind snagging his virginity. Not one bit.

“I don’t think-I mean-well-I-I-I want to but I just think that maybe we should wait on that.”

“Okay,” you say, staring into his eyes, fighting down a pang of disappointment, “But if Sollux asks, you can say you did.”

His eyes narrow a bit and then he’s nervously looking at anything but you.

“But I wanted to know. Could you, maybe-I don’t-just-kiss me?” You smile, a full grin with teeth showing an everything.

“Yes, Eridan.”

And then you get up to your knees and pull him up to meet you and your lips are together and his lips are soft, a bit firmer than you imagined, and they’re clumsy and he accidentally clips your teeth together. You wrap an arm over his shoulder and he puts his hands at your small waist, pressing on your hips with his fingertips. You reach your other hand down and take his. You guide it over your breast and his whole body stiffens. His fingers begin to itch around and grope at the soft flesh under his hand and you slip your lips down to his neck. He makes a noise that is a cross between a purr and a croon and you push him down beneath you. The two of you break apart and he stares up at you, fingers touching his swollen bottom lip like he can’t believe what just happened. You realize suddenly that you just bagged his first kiss. You gently kiss his cheek and roll off of his abdomen.

When you wake up in the morning, you’re inside on the couch with Eridan spooned up behind you. A shirtless Equius lays across the floor with Nepeta’s head on his belly. Terezi’s legs are sprawled across her chest. Everyone else is still asleep but you can feel Eridan start to stir behind you. He nuzzles into the crook of your neck and mumbles a quiet good morning into the skin.

“Morning.”

“Mm.”

“Eridan?”

“Hm?”

“Your stiffy’s digging into my back.”

“M’sorry.”

“S’okay.”

[kotofvi]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Leo      Age: 27       Contact: IM, Inbox, Disco

Character(s) I rp: Canon: Shiro, Sebastian, Dirk, Kyoya, Kurama, Nelliel, Maka, Dwicky. OCs: Hades, Google, Emogene, Dominic, Seirios, Iso, Felix, Reeves, Nyx, Zeru, Ren, Charlie, Dakota, Nemo, Bluejay, Koko, BD, Raven, Cora, Sammie, Lucie, Poppie, Ollie, Alphie, Bambi, Abbigail, Hiraeth, Bonnie, Rei, Rory.   Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Nelliel, Shiro, Rei, Bonnie, Hiraeth.  Current Fandom(s): Bleach, V/LD, Naruto. (I’m not deeply involved in the fandoms themselves anymore.) Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  Uhhhhh.. I basically have an AU for any fandom if I know it well and am asked for it.  My language(s): English. (I’m learning other languages but I don’t RP in them unless it’s just a sentence or two.)  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: Modern, Mythology, Medieval. 

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. (I legit love all lengths, tbh, it’s more so with one-liners I tend to lose interest if there’s no substance to further it.)  Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  (I’ve admittedly been v busy, so if you’re fine with me takin’ forever-- YES) Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT.  How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) (It really depends here.) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC.(I post more IC, but the gaps between IC and OOC make it seem like there’s more OOC at times???) Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  (This is entirely because half the fandoms some of my muses come from are absolute shit so I have to be careful.) 

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM or Inbox-- tbh, Just kick my inbox in and screech that you wanna plot/rp with me so long as you’re a mutual. I’m honestly so laid back?? Sure, it might take me a minute but this is entirely because IRL things and not because I’m putting anyone off. 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  Having fun? Having ideas? I guess, just, mutual interest? I mean, I’m here to write! I’m here to have fun! If you’re not interested in that much alone then?? I guess bye?? ‘Cause I’ll become very annoying to anyone who doesn’t have an interest purely because I’ll randomly ambush my partners with excitement and ideas. 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  Oh I’ll just straight up ask if they want to continue the thread or start a new one! I mean, I get it, you can lose interest or otherwise just not feel it anymore and that’s fine! If you’re not interested in that particular thread, then no worries, we can always start more! If you’re just being one-sided in general, however?? I’m not gonna be interested at all and I’ll likely tell you as such. 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  Normally it’ll just happen? I’ll do my “Hey what if they ___” thing and then a rapid bombardment of inquiries and excitement later, there is a thread. It’s usually mutual, the involvement of creating this plot, but sometimes it’s just me being excited and them being excited and then suddenly BAM THERE BE THREADS. S’all good over here! 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: I mean?? I’d like to know, yes! But I get that sometimes it’s incredibly anxiety ridden trying to tell someone that you’ve lost interest in a thread. It’s alright if you don’t tell me, but if you can muster up the courage to do so I’d appreciate it! I’m not gonna be upset at you for losing interest/muse in a thread! If I cared deeply about the story, I might poke at you and then you can tell me?? Either way it’s fine and tbh, I don’t mind. However, please let it be known that you can take forever on a reply as well so don’t worry about just hoarding a draft too! Tbh, I had someone reply to a thread literally a year later and I was still excited for it!  - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  Just shoot me an IM or hell, make a list of threads you’re dropping and tag me in it??? Which ever! Or don’t even tell me at all, whatever works for you sugar! 

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  Hmn, being overwhelmed-- I tend to accumulate a lot of drafts and 90% of them are long so sometimes I’ll drop a thread or two to help myself get by. Also lack of muse/interest is a factor. I won’t drop a thread purely out of being overwhelmed unless I just can’t muster up the muse to respond to it.  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. Sometimes I get overwhelmed myself and I’ll drop a thread, forget to tell my partner, etc. Other times I’ll tell them before I even delete the draft! 

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  Yes and no~ Yes primarily! I get that others can take a minute to muster up the courage to talk to others and would just prefer to keep things to a few sentences at first! However, I can and will ambush you with conversation and interest nonetheless. Because communication is important. If you’ve got something you wanna say to me, say it! I’m here for it!  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  Yup! If you’ve got an issue or something that might come across as criticism to say, say it! Civil discussion is absolutely wanted here and I would like to work out any issues you may have with me or my portrayal.  - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  To write and have fun! To explore in depth the characters I create or take on! I mean, c’mon, lbr here-- my gremlin ass muses require some more in depth speculation and investigation into their characters! I love the creativity, the world building, the constant drive to do better and to make others feel something from words alone. The capability to rend emotion from another living being simply from reading and reacting to something I created is amazing and I want to make others cry, laugh, smile and think. I want to create. 

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  Oh man, there’s an endless supply of things I’d like to do! I want to explore the depths of my muses’ histories more?? Like Shiro, I want to write out the things he must’ve seen, felt, experienced. How Nelliel was when she was alive, how Shiro fared in the Arena when he wasn’t fighting, Seb’s life torn between the various throws of data and reality-- there’s so much! And ALL THE AU’s!!!! All of them!!!  

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore: Sure, I work with a lot of darker themes like torture, gore, etc-- but I will not write Rape, sexual abuse, nor will I write child loss.  

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: I can work with most starters! However, if I’m randomly given a starter that I can’t work with for the muse selected, I’ll inform the person who wrote it! I appreciate the effort given but don’t expect me to be able to reply to every random starter given! Sometimes, they don’t even show up in my tag. 

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  Okay, I’m a sucker for the underdogs, aggressive folks and the villains. I’m not even going to try and lie and say I don’t immediately look at the Aizens and Kenpachis and go ah yes, those fucking gremlins, give me ten. I also love the background characters? The side characters in a show that seem so unimportant but have a crucial role? I love characters that have such an obscure involvement that you have to stop and ask why and how their involvement was crucial. I also love the soft beans? The ones who are so hyped with positivity and gleaming interest that they just can’t be ignored?? But then turn around and whoop some poor sap’s ass with that sparkle sparkle smile. Also love the upstanding moral types that also acknowledge that some things can’t be avoided and that morality is a grey area dependent on the perceptions of the individuals themselves. 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  Hmn-- I guess the kind that don’t seem to have much substance to them? The ones that are just uncharacteristically too kind. Yes, I love the overwhelmingly positive types but?? Also?? The ones that are too kind and without flaw just?? Don’t strike me as interesting. Also the ones that are just cruel for some obscure reason just to give them a reason to be villains. I mean I understand but also?? Villains don’t have to have a reason?? They can be cruel just to be cruel. Idk that’s always just been a thing with me.

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I guess that I’m fairly laid back? I don’t mind if you take 10 years to reply, I’m going to get excited if you message me with some random idea, I’m not going to be bothered by any ideas you suggest?? I can also sometimes give u doodles?? I don’t have time to doodle a lot but sometimes, once in a blue moon, you’ll get a random offering of doodled booty for ur blessing. Also gonna hit you up with random HCs, ideas, threads, etc?? Always?? Idk, I’m not too good at thinking about positive aspects of myself lmfao. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: Hnnn, I’m too laid back at times. I take too long to reply and I’m busy af IRL. I’m often goaded into being irritated by some asshole or another so I can come off aggro af too when I don’t mean to be. Sometimes I can get overwhelmed and disappear for a week, other times I can end up overwhelming someone else by being too excited? I tend to watch how much I do and say because I feel like I might come off as smothering and am too used to being shut down and told to shut up so I just don’t?? Do anything sometimes. I’m also not very good at initiating contact sometimes so I tend to go days and weeks without speaking to others. 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  Usually only if it’s developmental for the characters involved. Sometimes it’s just fun to do! It really depends on the characters involved + if I have any muse in general for it.  - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  ???? Kinda vague, Idk? I mean if I don’t wanna rp somethin’ I’ll say so. 

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  The relationship, the depth of two muses who can be wildly different or even similar. The multifaceted involvement of others to that relationship, the angst, the arguments, the sad moments along with all the happy things and how hard one might try while the other is cold-- etc. I don’t just want happy dates and sunshine, that’s not how relationships work after all!   - What is your smut tag?: Kettledrums

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: I like a lot of pre-established relationships! However, I can be a tad wary of child muses? Aka: The ones who are children of one of my muses. Reason being, sometimes even I don’t know how they’d raise a child so the muse in question would be off putting to me because it’s out of my realm. Beyond that, I’m down for just about everything! 

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  Since I have so many damn muses, I’mma just go with Shiro for all of this-- I suppose what they could find interesting is his very multifaceted dynamic as a soldier, human, technical non-human (Zombae), war worn, space exploring person. He can be rainbows and sunshine but also can suddenly become incredibly aggressive and cold. He’s not one or the other, he’s all and everything that he’s learned and encompassed while still remaining fragile and human in the end. Writing with him can be inspiring and can be soul wrenching, depending on the thread. As for plots, dude your character could be in space in one thread if the otherwise couldn’t be. There’s so many ways to go about writing with him?? He’s such an amazing character and the plots he can be instilled in are almost limitless with just his main verse. 

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   Hmn-- I guess the main one I have issues injecting him into place with would be the ones who are strictly non-tech oriented?? I mean, I can still have him there but getting him to fit is just?? Really difficult. Also with people who RP villains of his fandom and expect him not to be volatile. I’m sorry, but if you’re writing a S.endak or a Z.arkon-- you’re not going to get roses and butterflies with Shiro, plain and simple. If that’s something you can’t accept then don’t approach him with those muses.  - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  He works really well with most anyone! So long as one goes into it knowing he can be hostile with soldiers, Galra, etc; then he can be used no matter what. He’s one of my most capable muses that doesn’t have much of an issue when it comes to responding. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  Space, mechanics, biomedical engineering, people, freedom, fighting for a cause, flowers, his mother, violin, cats, sparring, getting stronger, constellations, nebulae, engineering, literature, alien languages, cooking. - What do they desire, is their goal?:  The safety of others, the freedom of others, the ability to choose, hope-- he wants to make sure those he cares for and all others are free and safe from the Galra take over.  - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  How they look at him. If they show signs of pity, of fear, he tends to walk away from any possible meeting with them. Otherwise, their appearance is what first catches his eye. How they dress, how they respond to him, how they talk and if he can make them crack a smile with an awkward joke.  - What do they value in a person?:  Hope, Strength, Loyalty, Purpose, Honesty, Patience. - What themes do they like talking about?:  Shiro’s more of a listener than a talker, but honestly he’ll talk about anything of interest and question anyone’s as well to get them to talk about it. It’s what makes conversation with him easygoing most of the time.  - Which themes bore them?:  Himself. He’ll try to avert any conversation about himself if it’s too personal or too close to something. It’s not so much that it bores him but that type of talk is reserved for those insanely close to him. Also talk of command bores the FUCK out of him. He’s never been one to really like rank. 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  So. Fucking. Much. Between being a prisoner of a war he was never involved with to being told he was a leader of a rebellion for said war, being a prisoner in the Arena and forced to fight and kill others, being held down and sedated as he tried to warn the others, DYING-- this boy has been thru too much.  - What could possibly trigger them?:  Certain noises, textures, Galra, medical equipment, certain lighting.  - What could set them off, enrage them?:  Galra, someone protecting him. - What could lead to an instant kill?:  Any bloodlust towards him or those he cares for. Most of the time, he has this under control and tries to be merciful, give them a chance; but sometimes, especially during an episode; there’s no stopping him from gunning for someone’s throat if they had any intent to harm another or himself. 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  Z.arkon, S.endak, L.otor, H.aggar, Druids, himself a lot of the time. - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   The paladins, space fam in general, his mother, his friends, people in general. 

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  Just approach him? Honestly, Shiro’s one of the easiest persons to converse with and get near. That doesn’t mean his guard is dropped, but he’s very easy going a lot of the time outside of battle. So long as you have a reason to approach him (even simpler ones like: his appearance, his arm, etc) then you’re set.  - Where are they usually to find?:  Oof, honestly? Anywhere. Space, Earth, other places-- he’s constantly on the move. If you want a set place, just say somewhere on Earth and I can work with that. 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  Shiro is certainly easy to get along with, but he is not without flaw or issue. He has a plethora of issues even after the fall of the Galra Empire. He’s not without his scars, physical and otherwise. Approaching him is easy but getting close to him is not. Don’t expect him to be an open book. Just because he can talk about war, battle, fighting with a straight face doesn’t mean he wasn’t effected by it. He has suffered greatly and it will show the closer you get to him. 

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @skyvar​  [ <3 ] Tagging: IF YOU WANNA PARTAKE IN THIS INSANITY, PLEASE DO AND TAG ME IN IT SO I CAN READ IT!!!