#like I told you im always happy to talk about my children

[professor-beaker]

(Warning: very long rant about growing up religious and aroace. Might delete this in an hour. Idk)

Dear mom and dad,

Do you remember when i was 14, and had my first kiss? You probably dont- for you, it was just another sunday. He was one of my only church friends, and he pulled me, alone, into one of the music rooms after sacrament meeting. You encouraged me to go with him, because you could read the signs i couldnt. He was very polite, but when we kissed and he grabbed my hand on the way out, it felt more wrong than anything id experienced before. I ran back to you, crying, and you walked me through rejecting him. You basically told me that i was just too young, that it would get better, but it certainly didnt feel that way at the time. Every time youve reminisced on it since, it was only to laugh at my expense. At my naievety.

I tried to take your words to heart. I tried to listen each time our church would preach about how essential families were and each time you told me how happy you two were. It didnt work.

Do you remember when i was 15, and i told you, mom, that adopting sounded way better than having biological kids? You got so offended, and i had no idea why. I still dont. You told me it was a natural part of life, that we were supposed to bring children into this world. I tried to explain my reasoning- why would i want my own children when there are those who are suffering on their own? When the thought of procreation made me sick?- but you dismissed it. It was just another day.

Do you remember the brief period when i was 15, when i dated a girl? I assume you dont, because you never found out. I lived in constant fear, because the comments you would make at the dinner table described lgbtq+ as an affront to God, as unnatural. I had thought that men were the problem, and she was my first real partner. But nothing changed, it still felt wrong, and we fell back into only being friends. I hadnt told you about that until today, because i knew exactly what youd say about it. I knew exactly what youd say about me.

Do you remember the boy i met when i was 16? The one with the curly hair and the kind smile. You were always pushing me toward him, because you saw how he looked at me (i saw, too- and i didnt like it). He took me to homecoming, and prom, and danced too close to me for my liking. You always asked if we were a thing yet- and when i said no, you smiled knowingly. I hated that smile. And you smiled that smile for years.

I reconnected with him when i was home over winter break. We hung out once, i told him my sexuality, and he barely reacted. When you asked how it went, i told you i rejected him romantically, but we were still friends. Do you remember what you said, mom? You said, "so you broke his heart and left." I cried that night.

Do you remember when you found my aroace pins a month ago? Im at college in a different state- a religious college you wanted me to go to- and you still made it your priority to berate me for it. I dont know if you could tell how angry i was over the phone, but when you said "asexual and things are just looking for attention", it broke my heart.

Because i figured it out when i was 17. Because it took me two years to finally accept it in a religion that very strongly emphasized the family unit. Because i finally felt accepted, i felt heard, i wasnt being dismissed at every corner. Because i had something to explain why i was like this.

Because i finally didnt feel broken.

I never doubted that you loved me- not once, ever, in my life. Not until you started degrading me for something i couldnt control. Not until you started pressuring me to date people i would much rather be friends with. If youre not going to love all of me, then do you even love me at all?

I hope you know that i still love you, despite everything. But i hate the way you talk to me now, the way you talk to others about me. And i hope that one day, you, too, will realize that im not broken, or affronting God, or unnatural. I hope you realize that im still your child.

I hope you realize im still human.

[calmcoldevening]

• Thomas hewitt (dating)- So Reader knows Thomas like we were born in the same town or were neighbors something of the sorts. And we hear rumors about how the Hewitt family are murders,/cannibals. But we remind our business cause we're like, nah cause they didn't hurt me or I haven't seen anything, They're just a little quirky, We defend their family. But for some reason Luda tells us not to go in the basement, We're like okay, whatever it's not my business. Reader is like a, 'idc not my business type.' Until one day reader hears noises or something, so we get curiousand go down there. But this is where we enter the angst, Cause Thomas or someone hears movement in the basement and thinks a victim is trying to escape. So they do something to us which makes us scared of them (torture or something) and it can end with like fluff or something, Because im pretty sure reader would forgive them.

Thomas Hewitt x reader, who knew out he's a cannibal and murderer

Tw: cannibalism, murdering, blood, violence (well, it's the TCM)

Texas was your home, you loved everything about it, from the picturesque meadows filled with yellow buttercups to the dusty city road. These beautiful orange and scarlet sunsets and golden sunrises reflected in a small lake fifteen minutes walk from your house looked like the most real picturesque paintings. It was hot and humid during the day, and cool enough at night. The air was filled with dust and dry grass. Birds were rustling in the distance.

You liked everything here, because you grew up in this place. Your parents moved to Texas before you were born, so this was the only place you'd ever seen in your life. But it was heaven for you. The city you lived in was relatively small, so everyone knew each other.

You've always been sweet and kind, perhaps even a naive child with a soul too pure for this world. Maybe that's why all the neighbors in the neighborhood loved you. The children played with you, and the kind grandmothers often treated you to sweets or pies. Your face has always been decorated with a satisfied smile and cookie crumbs.

Everyone was surprised when they found out about your friendship with the "strange boy". His name was Thomas, he was one of your neighbors down the road. You called him Tommy. His face was covered with a decent layer of bandages, which he kept awkwardly adjusting with his small hands. You always giggled with that cute gesture, but not out of malice, but in a kind way. After that, you went up to him and gently helped him cope with his little problem. You combed his hair and put his hands in order. The boy always had short-cropped nails with dirt under them and dry palms, probably from housework. But apart from his oddities and inability to talk, and he was quite an ordinary child.

Almost.

Sometimes you'd find him somewhere in the backyard or in the field. He stood there, deep in thought. Next to him, you noticed a small fluffy body and a crimson puddle. Sometimes you were scared of his violence against animals, but Thomas was always in a hurry to calm you down. He caressed your cheek and explained with gestures that he had only found the animal just like that. And you always believed him out of your stupid childish naivety. Time passed, and you got closer. The Hewitt family has always been kind to you. Sometimes, they were even more attentive and caring towards you than your own parents. Even grumpy Charlie. Sometimes a man intervened in disputes if you were molested by local hooligans. He could even punch them in their pretty faces, as long as they didn't touch you, the little girl of this family. Luda has always wanted a daughter, and now you have appeared. The woman was more than happy when she found out how close you are with her son. That's why it was no secret that you and Tommy were dating. On the contrary, Luda helped Thomas in every possible way to impress you, she helped him make gifts for you and told him how to take care of the girls. Charlie just turned on his adult film cassettes, that's all his support.

You really loved each other. You were the only one who really understood and cared about Tommy, despite his appearance. You loved his long dark hair, which you often so gently washed and combed. You loved those frosty blue eyes, like two big deep lakes full of love for you. You loved his masks, and tenderly kissed every scar on Thomas's face and hands. You were perfect. Tommy's heart belonged entirely to you.

And now you're 24. Thomas was a little older, but it was never a problem. The man was still very attentive and caring.

But gradually the city emptied with the closure of the slaughterhouse. It was a big blow for most of the residents of the city, because there were no other ways to earn money here. You turned out to be one of the few who stayed. Maybe you just didn't want to leave your home. Or maybe you didn't want to leave Thomas and his family. Anyway, it wasn't easy for all of you, at least because basically there wasn't a lot of food and all that.

But after a while, surprisingly, everything got better. Not really, of course, but old Charlie started getting meat from somewhere. It wasn't as tender as some beef used to be, but it's better than nothing. Although you weren't a big fan of meat before, so you almost didn't care about it. You helped Luda in her shop at the gas station, and at home in your free time you even grew some vegetables, which also helped the Hewitt family a lot. In general, everything was more than good, and yet, the atmosphere in the house was different now.

There have always been some strange rumors around the Hewitt family, sometimes even terrible ones. And yet, you loved Tommy no matter what. The whole family was kind to you, so you had no reason to doubt them, right? Thomas has always been nice to you. You often walked on cool evenings, just holding hands. You were talking about your day, and he just listened with a smile on his lips. You were the only person he trusted and loved. The guy liked your voice, your way of talking and your laugh. Undoubtedly, in his eyes you were damn beautiful, but it seemed that he was forever looking through your appearance, into your very soul. It was so sweet. You couldn't help but fall in love with him even more.

You were in the kitchen at the Hewitt house making a pumpkin pie. Luda has always been surprised by your wonderful cooking skills, so she wasn't afraid to leave you alone. He needed to go back to the store for a while, where Hoyt had taken her. So you're left alone. Humming to yourself, you swayed your hips to the beat of your made-up song. It's good that no one was watching you now and you could do anything. Finally, you put the pie in the oven and wiped your hands on the fabric of your apron with a victorious smile. After removing all the ingredients and washing the dishes, you sat down on a chair and just began to wait. Hundreds of different thoughts flashed through your head, from this very pie to the little ring you noticed in Tommy's room. You were filled with excitement, which made you happily bite your lip. Could it be...?

Your thoughts were interrupted by some kind of thud from somewhere below. Your body instantly tensed up. It was scary to hear something like that when you were alone at home.

You slowly got up from your chair. The sound seemed to come from the basement. But you clearly remembered that Luda, and the rest of the Hewitt family, told you not to go into the basement under any circumstances. It's strange, isn't it? Of course, you always followed this strange rule, but now that you were alone at home, you were scared of what might be there. You didn't find any better options than just going down to the basement and taking a peek. You're fast, no one will notice. What can happen?

The floorboards creaked unpleasantly under your careful steps. The unpleasantly cold water has touched your ankles.

Your eyes widened in horror, and you covered your mouth in fear. There was a man sitting at the other end of the basement, although he could hardly be called such anymore. His face was disfigured, and his arm and part of his leg were missing. His whole body was covered in scarlet blood. The victim's mouth was gagged and his eyes were painfully closed. There was an old bucket lying nearby. So that's what it was... The man was chained to the wall, and there was a massive hole from a meat hook on his shoulder.

"God.." the only thing that came out of your mouth was when you slowly backed away. My mouth was dry, and an unpleasant feeling of nausea was slowly rising in my stomach. Tears welled up at the corners of her eyes.

You took one hesitant step, then another. Finally, your back hit something massive. In the blink of an eye, a huge hand was placed on your mouth, and then darkness.

Thomas's mind was racing. You've seen their secret. Are you afraid now? Of course you're afraid. The moment he found you in the basement, your body was shaking in fear and your eyes were full of horror. But it's all for the family, you have to understand. Sure, Hoyt said to kill anyone who found out about their family secret, but Thomas couldn't kill you. You were his happiness, his light in life, his beloved. Therefore, he gently picked up your unconscious body in his arms, protectively hugging it to himself. It's just a misunderstanding, isn't it? Thomas left the basement, closing the metal door behind him, and headed for his bedroom. He put you on the bed, trying to make sure that you would be comfortable. You should get some sleep, then you can understand him. It's all for the family, for you. He wanted so much to see you as his little wife, to protect you and your possible children, he wanted it so much. But now his dreams were more fragile than ever.

You woke up in a dark room. It must have been Tommy's bedroom, judging by the big bed. You slowly sat up in bed, feeling a dull ache in your head. After a couple of moments, these horrible images of a corpse in the basement popped up in your head. You instantly wanted to empty your stomach. You put your hand over your mouth, feeling hot tears on your cheeks. Your head was throbbing painfully, and nothing came out of your chest except a long-drawn-out cheekbone. You slid down the bed to the floor, pressing your back against the wall in the corner of the room. Your body was shaking in terror, and your mind was full of vile, terrifying thoughts. I wanted to scream, but it felt like your tongue had been ripped out. You covered your head with your hands, tucking your knees in. You need to get out of here, run. Away from this house, away from this city, away from these people.

Your mental reverie was interrupted by the sudden creak of the door. The dark room was slightly illuminated by warm light from the corridor, the doorway was soon blocked by a tall bulky figure. You instinctively cringed, afraid of the consequences.

Thomas's heart ached as he watched you crawl away from him in fear. As his victims. He carefully closed the door and slowly approached you. You looked like a cornered animal. Thomas didn't like that feeling. He gently grabbed your hand, pulling you onto his lap. You resisted and tried to break free, your mind was racing wildly. But he didn't stop. He took you on his lap, holding you gently against his strong chest. You struggled and cried, afraid that you would be hurt. Thomas felt like his whole world was collapsing seeing you like this. You pounded his chest with your hands, muttering some words, but he wouldn't let go, Thomas just held you closer to him, stroking your back and trying to calm you down. You were afraid of him. It was like that.. wrong.

Finally, you were exhausted, hanging limply in his arms. Your head is on his chest, and only long sobs come out of your mouth. Thomas kisses you briefly on the forehead.

"No harm.." He mutters in a rough voice. He rarely talked, but it seemed like the best option right now, "..love Y/N."

You didn't answer. Your head ached, and your mind was empty, the animal fear in your body gradually subsided, replaced by fatigue. You fell asleep in his arms. Thomas sat there with you all night, afraid that something might happen to you.

In the days that followed, he took care of you and tried in every possible way to show that he would not harm you in any way. He'd rather kill himself if he hurt you. Thomas came into the room and fed you with a spoon. At first you refused and resisted in every possible way, but gradually, because of hunger, you simply did not have the strength left. Thomas brought you something that didn't have meat in it, he knew that meat could upset you. Stewed vegetables, your pumpkin pie, some snacks. Thomas wouldn't let anyone into this room, not even his mom. He had to make sure you were going to be okay. You are his sun, his reason to live.

Over time, it seemed that you had thawed out. It wasn't like you were completely resigned to the fact that the Hewitts were murderers and cannibals. But you realized they wouldn't hurt you, Tommy wouldn't let you. He explained to you that it's for survival. In a way, you realized that this was just the only way out, and yet it was still disgusting and disgusting for you. But Thomas didn't do it because he likes it. He did it for the sake of the family, protected it and fed it. It's necessary.

After a while, you even left the room, although you no longer looked towards the basement. Gradually, everything returned to normal. You even started living at the Hewitt house, Monty made sure to bring all your stuff here. You became the second mistress of Hewitt, Tommy's wife. He finally put the ring on your finger, and you realized all his warm love for you. Luda was glad that her boy had really found his happiness. Now you were sleeping together, giving each other love. You even went down to the basement if Thomas forgot to eat. Ignoring the screams of another victim, you placed the food tray on Thomas's workbench and gently touched his shoulder. The man turned around and wrapped you in a hot kiss. You had a strange feeling when you kissed so strangely to the screams of desperate victims. But it didn't matter. At that moment, it was just you and him, your husband Tommy.

[janovavalen]

✧HER NEW CUT || luke castellan x fem!reader

summary: luke as always admired y/n…from afar, but when she comes to camp one morning he can’t help but talk to her about her very bold hair cut

word count: 3174 (cray cray)

warnings: slight obsession from a far (not joe goldberg type), horrid flirting, y/n had a long to short haircut like taylor russell’s hair type short, slight jealousy, happy and soft ending<3

a/n: for more dramatic feels listen to japanese denim specifically? 3:09 so hope u read fast when it comes to the end bc JAH!

at the camp, luke and his group of friends walked amongst themselves as they laughed at the endless and kind of weird jokes one another was telling.

luke was always lucky with making friends but his friends were kind of—not to be rude—on the weird spectrum. he himself couldn’t say he wasn’t weird either.

‘dude, then the next thing—oh shoot, look who’s gotten out of her cabin this morning’ his friend jake, who pointed over to persephone’s cabin.

as luke looked over he saw none other than y/n l/n. daughter of persephone, goddess of spring and nature. persephone was known for her beauty, and her love, her kind mind towards all even when they’ve done bad.

all of persephone’s children seem to have these traits, but y/n? no. she had them more, she had them down to the freckles on her face that seemed to align like the stars of sirius. the most beautiful, brightest star in the sky.

y/n had been at the camp for only a few months, not as long as luke, but the second she stepped foot into that camp was when luke gave himself over to her willingly. but to her, unknowingly.

as crazy as it sounds, luke has never said a word to y/n. the only thing he did do however? was embarrassingly trip over his own foot, slamming down into the earth below her feet as she stopped her movements, he could remember it alarmist like it was ten minutes ago.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

as luke walked out of his cabin he saw y/n walking with her sisters as they laughed and talked together, their laughs seemed to drown out and the only noticeable one being y/n’s.

at the moment, luke had the duty of taking his wooden swords to the swordsman practice field.

as the girl—mainly y/n walked their way across from herme’s cabin, luke tried to make himself look more attractive? cool? so he straightened his back, the wooden swords being in one arm as he confidently walked down the steps—just as the girl passed, he tipped over a tree stump that had grew out of the ground.

when he did, was well hades himself rose from the ground and put hell on earth—the swords went flying into the air, one hitting y/n’s sister in her head.

‘oh my!—‘ as luke fell stomach first into the ground he grunted.

‘oh my gosh! are you okay!?’ a soft and worried voice spoke above him. as he looked up he saw a worried face of y/n…the girl he was so desperately trying to impress.

‘i—im fine! i’m okay, sorry! i’m so sorry emma!’ he yelled to the girl as he scurried up to grab the wooden swords. y/n turned to see one laying lot to far behind her so she went to reach, but at the same time like some two-thousands movie cliché, he went to reach for the same one.

his larger hand being on top of y/n’s who looked him into the eyes she smiled warmly while he smiled back, cleaning his throat.

‘again i'm so sorry’ he nervously smiled at y/n who kept her eyes trained on his own. she smiled warmly and shook her head.

‘don’t, it’s okay, it wasn’t your fault’ she calmly told him while placing her hand on his chest. he took a deep breath while they looked each other in their eyes.

‘y/n? come on we need to get emma to the clinic’ her sister called out to y/n who turned around. luke kept his eyes trained on y/n who called out—‘o—okay! i’m coming right now!’ as she turned back around she was quick to luke in his eyes.

‘well…i guess ill see you around prince charming’ she smiled with a hint of playfulness in her tone. he nervously laughed while holding onto the wooden swords as she walked away.

not without turning back to look at luke how never stopped looking at her.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

snapping out of his memory, luke looked over to jack to smirked at him.

‘dude, whatever—‘

‘i mean come on luke! you’ve been obsessing over her for how long? like how many years?’

‘about two i think?’ one of this friends said. jake pointed at them to prove his point.

‘see! two! and not to ruffle your edges but she’s a very pretty girl…she’s not going to wait for you forever luke’ he stressed. luke and jake have been friends for some time now and he was tired of watching luke get jealous every time y/n talked to some other guy at the camp.

and eveytime he let it happen, luke would go into his quiet, mystery guy mode and not talk to anyone for thirty minutes or an hour just falling over the fact the guy y/n was talking to and laughing with wasn’t him.

luke rolled his eyes a bit and shook his head.

‘nah it’s okay…besides maybe he deserves someone else, i don’t think i’m first and only in line anyway’ luke watched y/n sadly as she talked to some camper from zeus's cabin.

he was basically torturing himself as he watched the two laugh, her hand falling along the guy's shoulder.

turning around once he saw that, he sucked in a breath and tried his best to brush that off. the overbearing jealousy putting him through a spiral. a way in his mind.

turning around once he saw that, he sucked in a breath and tried his best to brush that off. the overbearing jealousy putting him through a spiral. a way in his mind.

‘okay—guys let’s just go have dinner, have fun, y’know?’

jake looked over to the rest of the group who sadly shook their head at the effort of getting luke to talk to y/n. sighing he followed luke over to the small outdoor cafeteria.

there were all of the kids who laughed and ate.

‘you guys can sit over there and I'll go and get dinner’ luke told them. some of the group didn’t really eat often, they more often ate their snacks they had saved up in their cabins.

‘i’ll go with you!’ jake called out.

as the two of them made their way to were the food was being handed out, luke failed to notice y/n who smiled up at him and called his name softly.

‘luke is that you?’ she smiled. turning around immediately to see y/n smiling up at him he stumbled to turn around to her completely.

‘y/n! hey! how are you? how’ve you been?’

luke was trying his best to make it seem like he didn’t know she been rather okay.

‘i’m good! i’m good, and you?’ she walked him him down the like of food.

‘i’m good as well! uhm…how’s camp going for you?’

‘good, uhh—me and my sisters have small sleepovers almost every night, we’re also doing some get-togethers for the other demigods to join, you can come whenever you like? i already asked mr. dionysus and chiron’s permission. they said it would be a rather good thing for the demi-gods to put their differences aside and get along as a full community’

y/n was always one for having a soft spot for people. even for her own good. but, that’s what luke loved about her. she was always so caring and supportive of everyone aside from the fact they’re all from different gods. that didn’t matter to her.

nodding his head and smiling he agreed to showing up to one of them—‘yeah, yeah i’ll try and make it if i’m not taking care of other things or sleep’ he chuckled a bit at his own joke while y/n did the same.

‘good good, i hope you can. it was really good to talk to you luke, i mean it. i always saw you a couple of times but you were with other people and i didn’t want to interrupt—‘

‘no! no—you could never interrupt, you can always talk to me, i mean it’ he was quick to shut down her worry in trying to intrude her way through conversation he wasn’t even paying attention in.

she smiled and nodded her head while holding a plate of food.

‘well, i’ll see you tonight?’ she tilted her head to him with a smile on her face full of hope. he mindlessly nodded with a glaze in his expression that didn’t go unnoticed by jake but blinded it her.

as she walked away with her plate in hand and her long flowing hair behind her, jake was quick to hit luke with his shoulder.

one thing that was very different from all of her sisters was that her hair seemed to grow ten times the return speed hair takes to grow. she had the length of hair that almost reached her calves. she always liked it long, and luke didn’t want to lie to himself he loved the way it looked on her.

‘ouu! look at you man! get your game on!’ jake make a corny comment making luke look back at him with a shake of his head but a grin on his face.

‘dude she only invited me to some function everyone is going to be at…’

‘yeah, but she smiled and talked to you? what definitely soldier boy points’ jake nudged luke once more before leaving to the table. when luke was down with his own plate and made his way over to the table, he was bombarded by cheers for him getting somewhere with y/n. finally.

luke only grinned and smiled while he turned around to see y/n eating a bit of her strawberry while looking at him with a small smile.

luke felt his chest tighten and his face grow red and warm. smiling back at her before she turned and he did as well—not before letting his eyes linger on her for a bit longer of course.

‘dude! this is definitely going to be your night!’

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

later that night, all of the campers made their ways back to their own cabins. luke with his friends and his own sibling in his own cabin.

like had found himself in a predicament. he was trying to decide if the white shirt or the black one would go well with his gray sweats. he wasn’t one for fashion since at the camp everyone wore one thing. but they got lucky and got to pick out some casual clothing away from the orange shirt and regular pants.

‘look at lukey-pookie trying to find a cute date outfit to see his girlfriend!’ one of his siblings called out with a teasing smile on their face. turning to see them he rolled his eyes.

‘no she’s not my girlfriend and i could care less what i wear…’ luke turned back around still trying to decide what shirt.

‘dude wear the black one, chicks did the whole tight back shirt and sweats thing, trust me’ one of his other siblings told him as they sat their doing their hair.

‘really?’

some of the other unclaimed kids nodded in agreement super fast as he hummed to himself and slipped on the black shirt.

‘make sure you flex your jaw and muscles every now and again as well—‘

‘yeah, you have a very defined jaw and your like jacked’ another spoke while they put on their shoes.

luke nervously turned around—does y/n think he was jacked? or does she think he has a very defined jaw? finding himself thinking of y/n and her smile he grew red and cleared his throat.

‘okay whatever, are you guys ready to go?’ luke fixed his shirt and soothed it down while he pulled out his shoes to throw on.

‘yeah we're ready…we’ve been waiting on you for like ten minutes to decide on what shirt to wear…’

‘yeah you literally stood there looking at the wall for a bit. we thought you left us’ they all laughed as luke rolled his eyes.

‘go! get out’ he yelled with a small smile as they did what he said.

while him and his group of siblings and some other that he still referred to as siblings, began to walk their way to where the small get-together was being held, they were imminently introduced with a lot of flowers.

more than usual. there was a trail of them leading down some part of the forest along with some small fires that were stuck on torches like the ones back at camp.

‘they persephone kids do know how to set a mood huh?’ one of the siblings spoke as he looked at the different versions of flowers that slowly grew in their wake.

luke couldn’t help but take notice of some of the flowers that he immediately knew were y/n’s. not to be a weirdo or anything but he saw her growing some flowers every now and again and sometimes wore them in her hair or as a flower crown.

smiling slightly as he heard small sounds of laughter and a bit of music he looked up to see the crowd of campers laughing with and down at each other.

as they walked deeper into the green patch of grass that seemed to form a perfect circle that was surrounded by trees with the light of the moon above to shine down on all the people below.

‘whoa…’

‘this is actually pretty neat’ some people spoke behind him as they departed from luke.

jake and luke’s other friends however stayed together.

‘this place actually kind of looks entertaining’ jake mumbled to like who had his focus setting for the only person he came for. jake took notice of this and cleared his throat.

‘she’ll be here, why would she invite you then not show up,’ luke looked at jake and nodded his head, trying to calm himself down and focus on the small gathering around him.

‘yeah…yeah no your right—i’m just going to get some juice, i’ll see you in a sec?’ luke departed from jake who let him go with a nod.

as luke made his way through everyone. some of them gave luke a smile and some gave him hugs, he smiled and hugged his way through and to the small table full of snacks and drinks.

as luke reached the pitcher of juice he poured himself some in his cup and drank it a bit. his eyes still searching for her.

while he did he noticed a small group of what looked like persephone daughters. squinting his eyes as he looked to the very distinctive long hair that belonged to y/n he couldn’t help but take a notice to the very short hair girl that stood next to the daughters.

there was something about her? was it her outfit? no…maybe—once he heard her laugh however? was when his thoughts could come to rest.

it was y/n.

as she slowly turned to her friend who walked up to her from behind her, was when he saw her new haircut.

and boy…did his mind go in a ruckus.

he felt as if his once tight enough grip on his cup faltered as he watched her laugh and move some of her hair out of her eye. their hair was extremely short, more short than he’d ever saw. did she ever cut her hair? he can’t recall. but that didn’t matter, not a bit, not at all.

feeling his mind become blank and his eyes go in a daze, the only thing he could every really focus on was her. she smiled and nodded. talked and laughed with her friends and sisters.

she wore this cute flowing dress that reached her thighs and had skinny straps.

it wa plain (f/c) which he took a note looked amazing on her. he never really saw her in anything other than shorts and the orange camp shirt. so he took his time to absorb her new look.

as y/n moved her hair out of her face once more she looked up and it seemed the stars aligned. her eyes met his and he hurried to turn around .

tightly closing his eyes as he cursed myself for doing so, he took a shaky break and sip of his drink. unbeknownst to him, y/n walked her way slowly up to luke who’s back was turned to her.

‘luke?’ she spoke. he hurried to turn around and let out a nervous laugh.

‘y/n? oh my—what? that’s crazy, i didn’t expect you to be here at all! that’s insane…’ he closed his eyes once more to collect and mentally punch himself repeatedly in the stomach for what he just said.

‘uhm…yeah of course i’m here! i invited you silly’ she smiled at him while he smile back. hit face growing insanely warm along with the tips of his ears.

‘yeah—yeah i just noticed that…sorry, i’m so sorry i just—‘

‘you wanna go somewhere more quiet?’ she suggested. luke looked into her eyes immediately to see her signature soft look focusing on him.

god, could she be anymore beautiful than this? he thought.

only nodding in response, he let her take the cup from his hand and place it on the table.

‘come on’ she smiled at him once more while slipping her smaller hang into his large warm one.

he took another note at how her hand seemed to fit perfectly into his. his mind going insane as if he were some teenage girl with her first celebrity crush.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

as the two of them walked hand in hand deeper into the forest and near a more quiet place. luke couldn’t help but let his focus wander onto her and her hair.

while they found a spot near the lake surrounded by some sand and rocks, y/n looked over at him. he gazed down to her and saw how the moonlight traced her face perfectly.

‘i come here to think sometimes. or just talk to my mom…hope i didn't creep you out on how far we are’ she nervously laughed while letting her hand slip from luke’s.

he quickly let his heavy hand chase after hers as she turned to him with her hand holding his again, her grip soft and his worried that some monster would come and snatch her away from him.

‘no! no, no not at all! not at all i like it out here, i like how quiet and calm it is. very calm and quiet…very’ he mumbled and stumbled over his words.

he only found himself like this when it comes to y/n and he was okay with that. she laughed softly as this and shook her head while looking at him over his face and chest.

breathing and and taking a small doing to what his sibling said he clutched his jaw a bit while mindlessly looking away to make his jaw more prominent.

unbeknownst y/n took a notice and noted this for herself.

‘so uhm…your hair!’ he called out, looking back at her immediately while her eyes snapped back at his own.

‘what about it’ she reached up and turned a bit of the hair pieces over me another. it looked so smooth and healthy he shook his head in a hurry.

‘nothing! it looks good on you, really good…not! in a creepy way! i didn’t mean to say that in a creepy way! y’know im just saying, you look good, very pretty—pretty beautiful—very…beautiful…’ he was almost disgusted at himself for saying such things in such a rushed manner.

what was actually going on? y/n couldn’t have liked something like that. she’s too special for that—she can’t like or even go for a guy like him. why did he even think—

‘i cut it for you…’ she quietly admitted.

looking over at her immediately once more he saw her gaze and her hand slightly gripping his own a bit tighter as she refused to look up at him.

‘you what?’ he breathed out. waiting for her to continue he didn’t fail to notice how her arm seemed to pull him a bit closer so he mindlessly let her tug him closer.

‘i cut it for your attention…i thought if i changed something out myself…you’d notice me. it’s stupid but ever since i saw you fall in front of me with your wooden swords i couldn’t get you out of my head. and for almost two years straight i did things like…talking to other guys or laughing at jokes i didn’t really think were funny so you could hopefully look at me? i don’t it’s stupid i—‘

before she could say anything else luke bent his body and face down to press his lips fully onto hers. as the two of them shared a single kiss. he pulled away to look her in the eyes for her to only look at his pink pull lips. placing her hand onto his face and pulling him closer, she smashed her lips onto his once more.

this time, the kiss wasn’t like the last. it was more desperate, full of energy, and all the times he’s thought about her non stop, over and over and over.

her hands found their way to the back of his neck and through his hair while he grunted a bit and placed his hands on her waist.

the two of them sharing what seemed like a never ending kiss. their were fireworks, bombs, sparklers, a full zoo and war going on all throughout luke’s body and mind right now.

he’s never experienced anything like this before and he was so sure he never wanted to experience anything like it except if it was with her and only her.

y/n smiled into their kiss as luke pulled away and gave her one last kiss.

‘i don’t know, what you were denying about what i feel. i have never stopped thinking about you, ever. it’s impossible to forget you and to stop thinking about you, every morning, evening and night even in between, when i wake up for water, i think about you. y/n…’ placing his hand on her cheek as she smiled dazingly into his eyes he let his nose hover and almost touch her own.

‘…your all i ever see.’ he finished as she gave a small smile and laugh. her hand made its way up to his face and her thumb traced over his scar which he closed his eyes on. their foreheads resting on one another.

‘awh luke…’ was all he could say before placing he slips onto his once more.

as he mindlessly and desperately kissed her back she made sure their bodies were close.

the moon seemed to shine over the two as they shared their moment of glory together.

after a bit more of kisses, luke and y/n pulled away from one another as they held their closeness. y/n found herself wrapping her arms around luke’s body as he held her against him.

after a moment of silence luke spoke—‘i really like your hair by the way’ he told while y/n laughed a bit.

‘and i like your shirt, it's very tight. my sisters kept gawking over it. not going to lie that what noises my confidence to walk over to you a bit more’ she revealed making luke feel a whole lot better at how he always got jealous.

needing to know more he pulled apart and packed his hands along her waist—‘wait! so…were there other moments where you got jealous?’ he needed to know, bad.

while desperately looking at y/n for an answer she shyly looked down at the ground and back into his eyes before placing her finger over her lips as to show she couldn’t tell.

just before he could say anymore, she pulled apart slowly from him and made her way through the forest .

‘wait! y/n, baby— please? tell me i need to know!’ he desperately tried to get her to speak.

‘maybe!’ she yelled back with a smile. as luke followed her he smiled to himself and felt a bit giddy.

she actually got jealous over him? possibly even protective? this was too adorable to him.

running up and behind her grabbed her from hind and spinned her around in circles while she laughed. his kisses spread from her face to her neck.

[ec1ips3]

-;༉‧₊˚✧ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞’𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞

⚡︎ pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader

⚡︎ summary: you and jj aren’t friends, the thought of being friends felt so foreign. after some arguments, boy troubles, and years of yearning and aruging, the idea doesn’t seem so foreign. 

⚡︎ warning: angst, mean jj, you’re a kook, i know that’s clique but i love kook!reader, swearing, she/her pronouns, not proofread, underage drinking, cheating, abandonment issues mentioned, mention of blood, fluff if you squint.

⚡︎ word count: 21, 284

⚡︎ a/n: hi everyoneeee! hope you’re all doing amazing. I decided to write some jj in honor of the new outer banks season i have yet to watch (because of jiara). also i’m guessing this takes place before season 2 because no cleo :(. BUT there is always a next time :). Also im sorry this is so long, i kept writing and i just kept adding and adding and adding, got too into it. also sorry this was late, but it’s okay because i think i wrote the best kissing scene i’ve ever written. Anyway like always, requests and taglist are always open. happy reading! <;33

masterlist | jj’s masterlist | taglist

“If you do it like that, you could break it” JJ complained.

“JJ, I did it the exact way you do it, get over it” You respond.

“Can you two stop acting like children?” Kie pleads.

You and JJ never got along. There was no real valid reason, not that you know of. You started hanging out with the pogues when Sarah and John B got together. She insisted one day you come with her so she actually has someone to talk to because there was still tension with Kie. You agreed because you wanted to help her, but one time turned into a second visit, then it became going every time Sarah went, or when Kie had called you to come over. 

It wasn’t like you stepped on JJ’s foot when he was younger, or that you acted cruel towards him like all the other kooks. JJ Maybank just hated you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your presence. He hated you. And he always made sure you knew he hated you.

It wasn’t like you stepped on JJ’s foot when he was younger, or that you acted cruel towards him like all the other kooks. JJ Maybank just hated you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your presence. He hated you. And he always made sure you knew he hated you.

It wasn’t like you stepped on JJ’s foot when he was younger, or that you acted cruel towards him like all the other kooks. JJ Maybank just hated you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your presence. He hated you. And he always made sure you knew he hated you.

JJ would always pick up stupid little arguments about anything. If you reacted in any sort of way he didn’t like, you wouldn’t hear the end of it. If you wanted to surf you were told you didn’t know how to. And you always fed into it.

“Y/n please, you two have been going at this all day on hms pogue,” Sarah says rubbing her head, hoping to soothe her headache from the arguing. 

“I’m curious JJ, what is my place here? Kook Princess?” You remind yourself of JJ’s comment earlier.

“You may be all high and mighty in kooklandia, but here, you’re a bottom feeder”

The both of you continue to argue, everyone on the poor boat having to listen to the both of you go back and forth. In the beginning, you ignored JJ and his remarks, he was furious when Sarah brought you the first time. He was already unhappy when John B brought one kook princess, but another one was his limit. 

You understood why JJ didn’t like you at first, you were a kook, people that treated people like him like garbage, he didn’t know who you were as a person.

But as you slowly showed up more often, JJ just seemed more annoyed with you. He hasn’t even tried to have one genuine conversation with you, he’s never said anything remotely nice to you, and he hasn’t made any friendly gesture towards you. After a while, you had reached your own limit. You were no longer able to just sit and frown as he said mean things to you, you started to defend yourself.

When John B finally docked the boat at the Chateau you were the first one off the boat thanking him once you landed and walking straight into the small house. You were hoping that Sarah or even Pope had been the one behind you but you knew it was too good to be true when you heard his voice again.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks following you.

“I’m getting away from you so you could stop annoying me” you roll your eyes.

“I wasn’t done talking to you,” JJ said.

“I was,” you say, plopping yourself on the couch, massaging your temple from the headache JJ had caused you.

“J, just let the girl be” Pope defended you, sitting next to you.

“Are you seriously on her side? When she was pulling the anchor chain, she was pulling it too close to us. She would’ve had to get us a new boat” JJ reminds him as everyone else walks in too.

“Like you wouldn’t have liked a new boat with my money” you grumbled.

“You mean daddy’s money,” JJ said. 

“JJ” Kie called him out.

“Am I wrong? It isn’t even her money. It’s the money daddy gives her. She doesn’t even do anything for it, she just has it” he continues.

“Oh, shut the fuck up JJ. You never stop talking about me or my family for more than 10 minutes” you stand up, visibly getting angrier.

“Yeah right kook princess, just like how you never-” 

“That’s enough!” John B cuts Jj off before he could finish. The room was now silent.

It always annoyed John B and Sarah how much you and JJ argue. JJ was like John B’s brother just like you’re just like Sarah’s sister. Seeing two people they loved argue really ruined their moods and sometimes they even had arguments about the two of you arguing. 

It wasn’t like John B didn’t like you, he did really like you. When Sarah would show up to a pogue thing, he would always ask for you, you were really easy to talk to, and you always looked out for him and his friends. JJ included. There were times when you had to pay for things for everyone, times when John B needed a little extra money for food, and even having to bail JJ out of jail. And you were always there to help and talk. 

JJ liked Sarah. That was it. She makes John B happy and that’s all that really matters to him. She always treats his friends right and makes them happy too. JJ is started to warm up more to Sarah and is beginning to have an actual conversation with him now. His only problem with Sarah is that she brings you around.

“I’m so sick and tired of the arguing today. Pope, JJ, and I will stay here. Ladies, do whatever you want, I don’t care. Just take her, away from him and we will all be happy” John B points to you and JJ when he says your name, his arms folded once he’s done.

“Yes! That’s a great idea. We could eat at the Wreck. I’m starving” Sarah jumps in, looking at you with the hope that you’ll agree.

“My dad did ask about you last time,” Kie told you, trying to convince you.

You didn’t need convincing. The second John B had said you and JJ needed to be apart, you would’ve done anything. 

“That isn’t fair. I’m hungry too” JJ complained.

“I will gladly leave,” you say.

“Perfect” Sarah sighs, walking to John B as a Bye and see you later.

You wave to Pope and John B who wave back, not indicating if you were coming back or not. The three of you left in Sarah’s car as she was the one who picked you up and drove to the Wreck.

The minute you stepped foot into the vehicle, there was a large weight lifted off of your shoulders. And when you stepped foot into the restaurant, your entire mood changed from annoyed to happy. Maybe it was the atmosphere, but Sarah and Kie are convinced it’s because you are now completely away from JJ.

The three of you strike up a random conversation, you not wanting to even think about the boy who changed the mood for you. After Kie gets your table’s food from the kitchen and you’re all eating is when someone just had to bring him up.

“Maybe you were just hangry when you had that argument with JJ” Sarah starts, and you roll your eyes.

“Or maybe, JJ is just annoying”

“She isn’t wrong, JJ is very annoying” Kie backs you up.

“Yeah but, Y/n. It’s JJ. You can always ignore him” Sarah says.

“If I ignore him he thinks it’s okay to do it. When I talk back he still thinks it’s okay, but he knows that I’m able to defend myself. That within himself already angers him” you say, sipping on your drink.

“I don’t know, maybe you guys just need to have sex,” Kie says plainly.

“Kie!” you and Sarah say at the same time.

“I’m serious. What if all this fighting is just both of you sexually frustrated with each other? Instead of taking each other’s clothes off, you argue with each other” Kie explains herself.

“I would rather get gum in my hair,” you say, biting a fry.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t find JJ attractive. Hell, everyone in, even Rafe did. 

Before you met him, you just liked to look from afar. When you did, you thought maybe if you were nice enough something would blossom. But nothing ever did, just hatred towards you. Maybe that’s why you never could actually hate JJ as much as you disliked him. Maybe it’s the way he laughs, the way he shakes his head like a dog when he gets out of water. Maybe his pretty privilege gives him a pass.

“Her idea doesn’t actually sound too bad,” Sarah says as she thinks about it more.

“Sarah!” you say.

“Think about it. What if one day you and JJ just fuck, do you think you’ll continue to fight?” Sarah asks.

“I don’t want to think about fucking JJ, thank you very much” you respond, going back to eating. After that statement and a few laughs from the table, Sarah strikes up a new conversation. 

Kie took this time to take other tables, every 20 minutes going back to your table to include herself in the conversation. As she was sitting this time, she noticed something, or rather someone.

Kie kicked your food under the table.

“Ow. What was that for?” you complain.

“Don’t look now but that guy behind you is totally checking you out” Kie says, still looking at the guy.

You did the only thing any reasonable person would and looked back, Sarah following suit. When you looked back a boy was looking at you. With light brown hair and blue eyes, he blushed and looked at his friends after you looked at him. He was really cute, like really really cute.

“I told you not to look back” Kie laughed.

“Yeah and I’m glad I did anyway. He’s cute” You say.

“You could always just, talk to him. Maybe get his number” Sarah suggested.

“Yeah right, he’s probably some guy that’s staying for the weekend, I’ll pass. Can you take me home now” You look at Sarah, her eyebrows knit together.

“You aren’t coming back?” she asks, you shake your head.

You were having a good time, going back to where he was would just ruin your mood. So to not risk it, you wanted to go home.

“To spare everyone from an even harder headache, I’ll stay home. I have things to do anyway” you say.

“You mean binge-watch ‘You’ and obsess over Joe Goldberg again” Kie calls you out.

“I can fix him” you respond.

“He’s a serial killer!” Kie responds

The table laughs until Sarah finally agrees, Kie going with her to drop you off at home. You do exactly what Kie said you would do, it’s a little boring but, it’s better than arguing with someone. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

You’re scrolling on your phone when you hear your doorbell ring frantically. Since no one else was home, you take your phone with you as you quickly run down the stairs to open the door. When you open the door, you weren’t expecting Kie.

“Y/n, you have to come. Sarah got stung by a jellyfish” she said frantically

“Wait what, how? Why are you even here shouldn’t you be-” Kie cut you off before you could even finish your sentence.

“She wants you to pee on her. Just put on your shoes and come!” Kie tried pulling you out of the door but you took a step back. “Give me a second,” you said quickly getting your shoes from the side and holding them in your hand until you get in her car.

Kie drove you to the Chateau when she held your hand to the back you already saw Pope and John B on HMS Pogue. 

If John B was here, why did Sarah need you? “Wait, John B? Where’s Sarah?” you ask, getting on the boat, Pope holding your’s and Kie’s hand. 

“She’s on her dad’s. But she insisted we leave to get you to pee on her” John B explained.

“But you’re literally her boyfriend” you respond, confused.

“She said something about how ‘boy pee is dirtier than girl pee’” Pope said, you rolled your eyes. That is something Sarah would say. 

Eventually, John B pulled up next to Sarah’s boat. JJ was nowhere to be found, you had assumed he would be on the boat with Sarah to keep her company. But it was only her and her painful moans in the water.

You get on Sarah’s boat and you try to lift her, “Y/n, you’re here to pee on me” Sarah said cheerfully. 

You rolled your eyes, “I’m not peeing on you Sarah, I’m taking you to the doctor which should’ve been done when you first got stung” you said, sending daggers to John B’s eyes. 

“But you know that you can pee on someone to take the stinging away,” Sarah says leaning against you.

“I don’t even think that’s true but whatever helps you sleep at night,” you say walking to the edge of the boat so John B could take Sarah, who gracefully does his job. 

Once you hand Sarah off you hear banging, and when you look back the cockpit door is moving rapidly. The loud banging with the moving door only makes you more confused. 

“Sarah… Is there someone here?” you ask, expecting some sort of answer. But all you heard was the motor and silence. “Sarah?” you look back where John B’s boat should be but it isn’t there. 

Your eyes go wide, you see them slowly boat away. “Sorry Y/n, I still love you!” Sarah called out from the boat. She still loves you? What does she mean by-

You couldn’t even finish your thought before the cockpit door opens, but someone comes out quickly. When you see the familiar blond hair you want to curl into a ball and never come out again. 

JJ notices you, his eyes wide. He mumbles something under his breath before he goes to where you are and looks at his friends. “What the fuck?!” He yells at them.

“We’re tired of the arguing! We’ll come back in the morning for the both of you” Kie said.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” you groaned.

JJ looked at you for a second, then back at his friends. He groans loudly, louder than you which already annoys you.

“They’re kidding right, they’re not actually gonna leave us here?” you ask him, JJ just rolls his eyes at you. “Yeah dumbass, they are. We did it to Kie and Sarah once” JJ told you, he sighed and walked away from you, pinching the bridge of his nose.

You suck your teeth and look where your friends were. But when you felt the familiar something in your shorts you squealed loudly. JJ looked back at you to see what made you so excited. But when you pulled out your phone that was when he got angrier. 

“It isn’t gonna work,” JJ tells you.

“You don’t know that Sarah’s boat should have wifi” 

“I do know that and she doesn’t. Remember she said something about how it never works when it’s away from her house.” JJ rolled his eyes.

When you stood up and raised your phone in the air you cursed yourself. He was right, it wasn’t working. You remember Sarah and Kie laughing about when the pogues did it to them. You had hoped that maybe this would help you and JJ. With that being said instead of trying to make an actual conversation with you, JJ pulls a joint out of his pocket, lights it up, and puts it to his lips before he could even offer it if you wanted.

Even if you rejected his offer, it would’ve shown he was actually trying. You roll your eyes and go down to where you and Sarah usually sleep when you sleep over on the boat. If he wasn’t going to make the effort, why should you? You thought.

You entertained yourself with the games on your phone that didn’t need wifi for a couple of minutes. Then minutes turned into hours when your phone died and you hadn’t seen JJ since you left him. You know he’s hungry because you’re hungry so as much as you dread it, you decide to put an end to the arguing.

You took some chips out of your and Sarah’s secret stash and left the small room. When you walk out the first thing that hits your nose is weed. You walk to the middle of the boat just to find him on the edge of it, smoking a joint, looking in the distance. You walked a little harder so JJ could recognize you were around, and he did, looking back at you. You threw him the chips. 

“I know you’re hungry, consider this a piece offering,” You say, opening your bag and taking out a chip to bite. 

JJ just looked at his chip bag and scoffed, he threw it back at your feet. “I don’t want it,” he said lowly. You roll your eyes, of course, he’s acting like a child. 

“Look, I don’t want to do this as much as you but we should at least give it a try. Us arguing is ruining our friendship with everyone else.” You explain to him

JJ laughed loudly, “you mean you’re ruining your relationship with everyone” 

“Excuse me”

“You heard me. Maybe if you weren’t so annoying you wouldn’t be ruining those friendships, but you are” JJ says 

You’re speechless for a second thinking of what to say before you actually say it. “Last time I check JJ it takes two people to hold an argument. I’m not the only annoying one” 

“Sorry, Princess but that’s all you. Maybe if you didn’t act like a kook you would be able to realize how annoying you are”

“Is that the only reason you don’t like me? Because I’m a kook? That’s real childish of you, JJ” 

JJ stood up at the word childish, getting close to you. “Then so be it, but at least I act like my true self,” he says

“What are you even talking about? I didn’t ask to be a kook, I can’t control that” you defend yourself.

“Yeah but you control who you choose or who not to be friends with,” JJ says, venom rolling off his tongue.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you knew exactly what he meant, you just wanted him to say it.

“You’re a princess who lives in this big castle, everyone caters to you. You can do no wrong, everyone loves you. But you chose to befriend the ones everyone looks down upon. It’s fucking weird and fake” JJ says, raising his voice slightly.

“So you hate me because I’m friends with your friends instead of some random kooks?” 

“No, I hate you because you are you. You’re a spoiled brat who uses daddy’s money to get closer to us. You act so innocent like you don’t know what you’re doing but you do! I don’t know why you’re friends with us Y/n but I know that when Daddy is no longer upset at you, you’ll go crawling back to your kook friends” JJ said, every word he said hurting you slightly more, and more.

“You don’t even know me,” you say angrily.

“And I don’t want to. Think about it. When it was just Sarah, everything was perfectly fine. No one was ever begging someone to stop arguing, we were always happy and laughing. That all changed when Sarah decided to bring you around. You changed everything!”

You were speechless, your mouth slightly wide, your eyebrows furrowed together. JJ has never yelled at you once, so seeing him do it now only made you feel pain. To think you actually liked this guy, to think you tried to befriend him. And all of it was for nothing.

JJ took your silence as an opportunity to go further. “You changed everything! And you changed everything for the worse! Do you actually think we enjoy being with you? Do you really think Pope doesn’t care when you ask him multiple questions? Do you really think Kie doesn’t hate it when you bring up something from the kook academy? Do you really think John B likes you? He only puts up with you because of Sarah. They all only put up with you because of Sarah! So get a grip, stop trying to be my friend, and leave my friends alone!”

The sound of his echoes was the only thing heard. Your eyes began to water. You knew he was wrong, if he wasn’t they would’ve all said something to you or Sarah. But there was a small part of you that believed him. 

JJ had only realized what he said once he noticed your entire face go pale. Like all the life and the spirit you had in you was gone instantly. He felt bad, he didn’t mean the words he said. He was angry, he wanted you to stay away from him. He never wanted to ruin you, when he first saw you, that was his one wish for himself. But he did it anyway.

“Y/n… I’m sorry I didn’t- I didn’t mean it. I- I was just saying-”

“It’s okay, I get it,” you said softly, it’s so soft and quiet. He’s never heard you be this quiet and he never wants to hear you this quiet ever again.

“No, this isn’t-” he took a step closer to you and you took two steps back. “Y/n…”

You wipe the tears that fall, “I’m gonna go back inside the cabin. Have a nice night JJ” you said even quieter than before.

“I’m sorry. Y/n I didn’t mean any of it, you gotta believe me” JJ pleaded with you. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, you knew if you did you would only cry more.

 “Yeah JJ. I believe you” you said, looking at him for a second, just a second. Once you do you quickly turn away, walking to the cabin.

JJ didn’t stop you, he wanted to. He didn’t want to make you cry, he never wanted to even see you cry. He ran his fingers through his hair and grabbed the ends of it. He felt like an idiot. He sat down, the unopened bag of chips next to him. He looked at it and shook his head, getting angrier with himself.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

The sunlight fell onto your face, waking you up. Your eyes were tired from all of the crying you did last night. You had a massive headache. Your voice felt so small. Everything from last night made you want to go back to sleep and stay in that cabin for the rest of your life, but you knew that wouldn’t be possible. 

You walked out of the cabin and saw a small bag of chips at the door, the bag of chips you gave him. You throw it back into the cabin and you didn’t even try to look for him. You were on the edge waiting for your friends to come back. 

You finally saw a small white dot in the distance, sighing with relief. But that sigh was too soon because you felt the new presence behind you. The HMS Pogue was getting closer and neither of you said a word. Not until it was almost there that JJ had broken the silence.

“I’m really sorry Y/n. I shouldn’t have said any of those things to you because they all aren’t true.”

You stood up and looked at him, “it’s okay JJ. You won’t have to worry about me anymore” you say, looking at the HMS Pogue.

“What?” his blue eyes filled with confusion.

“I’ll stay away from you and your friends. Just so everyone can be happy like they were before me”

“Y/n” was all JJ said when he heard Kie’s voice.

“Did everything go as planned?” she asked. The both of you were silent.

You had climbed down to the HMS Pogue with the help of Pope, both you and JJ silent as ever. 

“Guess not” John B mumbled, climbing onto Sarah’s boat with Sarah. 

“Why are you getting here?” JJ asked. 

“Well, I need my boat back. So John B and I were gonna drive it back to my house and Pop was gonna take the pogue boat and drive to my house in the twinkie to pick us up. You can join John B and me if you want” Sarah offered JJ.

He looked at you who was looking at the ground below you. So quiet you were. JJ nodded, walking away from the edge of Sarah’s boat.

“Pope, can you drive me home before you pick them up? My mom is probably freaking out about where I was last night” you ask him, your eyes soft and the presence you held within them so small.

“Uhm, yeah. Sure, Of course” Pope nodded, starting the HMS Pogue. 

“Uh, we’ll see you guys later,” Kie told John B and Sarah.

“See you later,” Sarah said, but she only looked at you.

The boat ride to the Chateau was the quietest it’s ever been in. You, Pope, and Kie got in the twinkie shortly after docking and just like he said, Pope took you home first. Not without a bye of course.

When you walked into your house, your mother was already waiting for you in the kitchen. After your long minutes of scolding and your punishment of not going outside unless asked to for a week, you went to your room. To do what you did in the cabin. Cry your eyes out.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

The week’s punishment wasn’t bad. You actually enjoyed it. You had an excuse for Sarah and Kie when they asked to hang out. But once the week was up you gave every excuse in the books to not go. You told JJ you would stay away from them, and you are. 

You would be lying if you said it wasn’t lonely, it was very lonely. You were so used to being with them almost every day that now your day just feels empty. And poor Sarah. You would talk to her every day, there wasn’t one time when you weren’t with or texting her. You didn’t tell her what happened on the boat after she asked. You didn’t want their image of JJ to disappear.

JJ was also going through it. Ever since what happened on the boat JJ was quieter than usual, it made the rest of the pogues worry. He also hadn’t told them what happened on the boat mainly because he knew you weren’t going to.

Every time the pogues brought you up JJ just felt guilty. He knows he is the reason why you aren’t showing up anymore, and in a way, the pogues know it too. JJ didn’t know what to do, he wanted to talk to you but he didn’t know if he should actually go to your house. He had a feeling you would just ignore him and tell him to leave. JJ felt helpless, he didn’t know how to clean up the mess he created.

When you woke up this morning you did your usual routine, mainly just sulking. When you went to eat your breakfast though your mom asked to run some errands for her. You asked her why she couldn’t do it and she reminded you that you haven’t been outside in a while, to soak up some sun. 

She was right though, you hadn’t been out since Pope dropped you off. You agreed to run the errands. You got upstairs and decided to try to look decent since you’ve just been in pajamas. Once you were done and looked at yourself in the mirror you felt more like yourself, maybe you felt even a little happier. 

You went in your car to do the things your mom told you to do, playing your music and you felt better than when you first woke up in the morning. You went to the flower shops, you went to your mom’s office to grab something, you went to the grocery store, and the last place you had to go to was Heywards. You saved that for last because you know Pope is usually with his dad, sometimes JJ and John B even helping for extra cash.

Once you walked in Mr. Heyward already smiled at you. “Y/n, how are you doing? Long time no see”

“Mr. Heyward, I’m alright. How are you? How’s Mrs. Heyward” 

“Oh, she’s doing great. You know you could just call me Heyward, Y/n. Mr. Heyward makes me feel old” you both laugh. “What brings you here?” he asks, the smile still on his face. 

“My mom had made an order a couple of days ago she said, I’m just here to pick it up and pay”

“I’ll get right on that” He starts to walk away but he pauses and looks back “You know, the rest of them have been around a couple of times and I haven’t seen you. Pope hasn’t even mentioned you in a while. I guess what I’m letting you know is that they miss having you around” 

“Oh” was your only response, you didn’t know what to say. It felt nice knowing that they miss you, but it pains you to know they still want you around. 

“I’ll get your order now. I’ll be with you right now sir” Mr. Heyward said to someone behind you and walked away quickly.

You looked behind you once he left, and it was a guy behind you. Light brown hair and blue eyes. He looked familiar but you didn’t know from where. When you looked back at him it was like his interest had peaked, once you smiled at him and he returned one you turned away. 

There was an awkward silence between the two of you but Mr. Heyward came out quickly with a bag. “Here you go, that’ll be 67.95,” he said. You gave him a hundred-dollar bill. “You can keep the change Mr. Heyward” you smiled.

Mr. Heyward thanked you and you grabbed the bag walking to your car now. You put the bag in the backseat on the driver’s side but when you shut the door the boy that was inside was walking towards you.

“Hi, I don’t want to take too much of your day. I don’t know if you remember me but I saw you t that one restaurant, you were with your friends, two girls.” He says, you jog your memories and it pops up.

“Yes! I was wondering why you looked so familiar. I remember now, what’s up” you give him a gentle smile.

“Well, I was with my friends there too. And they noticed I was looking at you and they wanted me to ask you out. I kinda chickened out and when you left I thought I wasn’t going to see you again. But now that I have, I think it’s a sign to take my chance. So are you willing to maybe, go on a date with me? You could say no of course but I wouldn’t mind a yes either” he gives you a dazzling smile. He was cute. You haven’t been on a date in forever and you don’t have friends to make plans with. The worst that could happen is the date doesn’t go well.

“Yeah, sure. I’d love to”

The boy smiles wider, “great. That’s perfect uhm- Sorry I thought you would say no” he says, sounding suddenly out of breath. You giggle at him. You pull out your phone and pull up to add to contacts, giving it to him.

“Give me your number and I’ll give you mine. Just text me the details and it’s a date” you say, the boy gives you his phone quickly. You put your phone number and put your name down, then you texted yourself a little message before giving the phone back.

“Oh, I’m Jayden by the way,” the boy says. 

“Y/n” you respond, walking to open your car door. “I’ll see you around Jayden” you opened the door. 

“Likewise, I’ll get right on with the details,” Jayden says, you nod and he walks away a smile on both of your faces. 

You enter your car and drive home in a much better mood, you needed this. A cute date with a cute guy. This could lead to absolutely nothing or maybe just a short fling, you didn’t mind either. Maybe this could help you take your mind off of the pogues.

But the pogues wouldn’t take their mind off of you. Especially not anymore. Pope was outside of Heyward’s and watched when you first pulled up to his dad’s business. Not only that but his dad mentioned you were there. Pope saw you walk out and saw a guy he’s never seen before walk up to you. He watched as you listened to what the boy was saying and he saw when you gave him your number.

He didn’t know when he was gonna bring it up but he knew he would tell the rest of them. There was a part of him that felt like it wasn’t anyone’s business, to just leave you alone. But then he reminded himself how much everyone is moping around, maybe this will be a clue.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

Some time has passed since you were at Heyward’s. A month to be exact. 

You were happier than the month prior. The date with Jayden went so well you had another one not long after. Then you started hanging out more and more. Then he kissed you. Not long after he asked you to be his girlfriend.

You felt like it was too short, you hadn’t known him for long and he was already asking you to be his girlfriend. But you accepted anyway.

It’s been almost two months since the last time you saw the pogues. Almost two months since you saw Sarah. God, you missed her. You wanted to tell her all about Jayden, you wanted to have a girls’ day with her and Kie. You wanted to be with the pogues. You wanted to laugh like you used to, you wanted to surf with people who knew how to, and you wanted to feel fun again.

Jayden introduced you to his friends after the second date. Neither he nor his friends lived in the Outer Banks, they all lived on the mainland. They usually came out here for the summer but the commute from there to the mainland wasn’t long, so the relationship was doable when summer is over.

His friends, Austin, Rafael, Kolton, and Garrett are nice, they engage in conversations with you. The girls, April, Diana, and Alana didn’t bother you. They seemed to like you, always finding something to compliment you with. This group of friends was so much different than the one you were so familiar with. The pogues felt like a family, this one was separated into two, the boys and the girls. Everyone spoke to each other but you knew there was something deeper inside the group, a secret not everyone knew about.

You’ve mainly just been with Jayden and his friends, going to one of their house parties a couple of times. It wasn’t like the keggers but it did help you forget about the people you’d rather be with.

You were now getting ready to pick up Jayden to go to Rafael’s house, doing a light amount of makeup since you’ll be in his pool. You hear a knock on your door, you tell your mom she can come in. Your back is turned away from the door so when you hear it close followed by silence you look back. The person you didn’t expect to see was Sarah.

“Sarah… What are you.. What are you doing here?” you ask.

“Are you serious right now, Y/n?” Sarah said she is visibly angry.

You close your eyes and breathe out, once you opened them Sarah didn’t wait for a second to continue to speak.

“I haven’t seen you in almost two months. You haven’t texted me back in a week and a half to hang out with you and every time you do text back it’s some stupid excuse. I try calling you, Kie has tried calling you, hell, even John B has tried calling you to come over. I have to show up at your house unannounced and lie to your mom about being here and why she hasn’t seen me in so long. And your first words to me are asking me what I’m doing here?” she rants

You’re quiet. You don’t know what to say. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t going to solve this problem. Your silence only makes Sarah angrier.

“And Pope- he told us he saw you with some boy last week, apparently this is the second time he’s seen you with him. And not once did you even think to tell me. Is this what you’re doing? Are you just abandoning us for some random guy? Why aren’t you saying anything?!” her voice finally gets loud, she didn’t want your mom to worry but she wanted you to understand how she feels.

“Now, I’m not abandoning you guys. I’m just taking a break. You don’t get it alright” you say, getting up from your vanity and walking back and forth across your room.

“I don’t get it because you never told me anything. One day we were great, we put you and JJ on a boat and the next morning you never speak to me again. What happened on that boat?”

“JJ and I just had a bad argument. Instead of arguing, I’m just taking a break from him so we wouldn’t argue so much” it wasn’t the full truth, but it was something you could give her. Sarah stood silent to let you speak.

“If you were tired of the arguing imagine how I was. And as for the boy, I met him when Pope saw us the first time I’m guessing. But the second time, we had just started dating. We still are dating. I’m going out to see his friends now” 

Sarah was silent, trying to process everything you were saying. You, dating a guy you hadn’t known for long was unlike you.

“I’m fine Sarah. I’m doing good actually. I have a good boyfriend who is treating me right and his friends are treating me like they’ve known me longer than they’ve known him. You and the rest of the pogues can stop worrying about me now. I’ll be around soon but right now, I’m not ready yet”

Sarah sucked on her teeth, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing right now. You started putting on your shoes and started walking to the door, Sarah stepping in your way.

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

“I already told you, I’m going to my boyfriend’s friend’s house to hangout”

Sarah scoffed, “so you’re leaving this here, all for some people you barely even know? This isn’t like you, Y/n. Just talk to me and we could have this all figured out”

“I don’t want to talk right now Sarah and I promised Jayden I would be there today. I’m sorry for everything and I’m sorry for leaving right now but I have to go whether you like it or not.” 

You maneuvered around her and opened the door, walking out of your room and going down the stairs. “Y/n” Sarah called out, you looked back as she was slowly going down the stairs.

“If you need anything. Someone to laugh with, someone to gush about your new boyfriend too, someone to cry on their shoulder. I’m here” Sarah said, her voice shaky like she was about to cry. 

You walked to Sarah and hugged her tightly, tears streaming down both of your faces. You knew this wasn’t a goodbye, this wasn’t something where you would never see her again. It was more of a way of both of you saying you miss each other without actually saying you miss each other.

“I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” you whispered in her ear. Sarah nodded quickly after, “yeah, I’d like that” she laughed lightly, you laughing with her.

You separate from her and just look at her for a moment. You get the feeling to just ditch Jayden and stay with Sarah. Go back to the chateau and just hang out with everyone. You just tell everyone about the new people you met and make fun of them. You knew JJ would like it too, he had a thing for making fun of wealthy people.

But you didn’t.

You walked out of your front door, saying bye to Sarah and you drive to Jayden’s house. You waited for him to come out of his house and you looked at yourself in the mirror, your eyes puffy, a sign you had been crying. But that didn’t matter, your only thoughts were of the pogues suddenly, your only thoughts were of him.

When Jayden showed up in your car and kissed your lips. He didn’t even question your state and just went straight to talking about nonsense. Talking about things you never really cared about. You would look at him occasionally. Just because you were admiring him. You only ever did that with him. But because you started to think did you really like Jayden, or was he some sort of distraction? 

You showed up at Rafael’s house, everyone already in some sort of bathing suit with a beer in their hand. You didn’t want one so once you settled down, you got into the pool. Conversations striking left and right. But you weren’t interested in them. Your mind always wandered to someplace else. You were like this the entire night.

You kept thinking about them and how happier you would be if you were there. Sarah’s words made you feel like you abandoned them. But JJ didn’t want you there. He didn’t like you being there. Then why do you keep thinking of him? Why are you imagining yourself with JJ, being a little too close if he didn’t like you? 

It’s a shame your mind is everywhere else but present. Maybe if your mind was where everyone else was you would notice the pity stares you’re getting right now. Maybe you would notice Diana getting close to Jayden. Maybe you would notice their whispering. But you didn’t. And every time you looked at him, he smiled back at you. 

You felt pity for him. From your perspective, you’re thinking of a different guy while you’re still with him. To you, he isn’t a bad boyfriend. To you, he deserves better. When you get up, he separates himself from Diana, and you walk over to him, sitting next to him. You kissed his cheek and then started to engage in the current conversation.

After you left Sarah went to the chateau, telling everyone what happened. She told them about how you have a new boyfriend named Jayden. She told them what you looked like. You looked normal but you didn’t look like yourself. She told them her suspicions. She told them she thinks you don’t even want to be with Jayden and that you don’t want to be with his friends either.

JJ heard it all. He wanted to go pick you up and take you back here with him. But who is he to you? The guy who made her push everyone away. The guy who made become friends with this random guy’s friends. He caused all of this. So why would you listen to him?

He was jealous when Sarah mentioned Jayden. He had been jealous when Pope had brung it up at first. He was the one who convinced the group that maybe the boy she gave her number to was just a friend. But the group knew he wasn’t, they just let JJ think he convinced them. JJ mainly convinced himself. He was jealous when Pope saw you and him again, “clinging onto each other” in Pope’s words. 

JJ knew he shouldn’t be jealous, he was the one that helped the guy. But there was still that part of him that couldn’t help being jealous.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

You and Sarah slowly started to make up. You met up with her once since she showed up at your house three weeks ago. You spoke more about how you were doing, and how Jayden was, even showing pictures of him and all of his friends. Sarah did the same, talking about the pogues and about how much they missed you. She told you how JJ has been different since the boat. He was a lot quieter and a little calmer. It was getting harder and harder for him o want to go out, John B, Kie, and Pope doing all they could to even get him to surf. JJ loves surfing.

He didn’t even want to party anymore. Just wanted to stay in John B’s bed all day and sleep all day. It was different from the JJ you once knew.

Sometime after the meetup Sarah had convinced you to let Jayden meet her, baby steps she said. This was mainly so Sarah could get his vibe and report back to the pogues but she didn’t tell you that. She claimed it was because she wanted to warn him if he ever broke your heart.

Today was the day, Sarah had told you to meet up at the Wreck so all you had to do was get Jayden and meet her there. You had called and texted him with no response, something you’re getting used to lately because he keeps oversleeping. When he does you have to go to his room and wake him up so you knew that’s what you would most likely do today. You got ready and texted him you were on the way just in case he woke up in the middle of your driving.

You pulled to his house and walked in, already knowing the door was opened. You walked up the stairs and knocked on his door, once, twice. No response. You twisted the knob to see if he had locked it or not. But it was unlocked.

You walked in saying, “Jayden, we’re meant to be seeing Sarah today, can you wake-”

You stopped yourself. The sight in front of you makes you sick. You feel humiliated, embarrassed, angry, and lied to.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you say loudly, Jayden and Diana jumping awake.

Both of their eyes wide, “Wait wait wait wait. Baby, Baby-” Jayden started.

“Don’t you fucking baby me. How dare you? How dare you?!” You ask him.

Diana pulled the covers over her body, “Y/n, I’m so sorry I-” she started.

“Save it.” you kept your eyes on Jayden. “I can’t fucking believe this, how long has this been going on?”

The both of them were silent. “Fucking Answer me!” you yell.

“Since before I saw you at that place the first time” Jayden responded.

Your head felt dizzy. You couldn’t believe this. This was the secret this group was hiding. 

“Y/n, baby. I’m sorry I didn’t- It was an accident” Jayden said getting closer to you.

“An accident? An accident is spilling milk on the floor or tripping somewhere. This is no accident! You putting your dick inside her multiple times is not an accident!” you said getting angrier.

“I have needs baby, come on. We were together for a month and we never had sex. You don’t even send pics. I needed to release, baby. You understand that, don’t you?”

You were stunned. All of this was because he needed to fuck someone? He just needed a good lay? Is he fucking serious? Trying to blame you when he can’t keep his dick in his pants.

Although you didn’t feel an ounce of love for him. This still hurt you. No one likes being cheated on. 

“And to think I was gonna introduce you to my best friend today” tears started to stream down your face. 

“Y/n…” he says quietly, his arms open, taking a step closer. You step back.

“No. We’re done. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t even look at me!” you yell at him, tears still coming out of your eyes. Your eyes went to Diana, “and you. I liked you.” you scoffed. You walked out of his room, the tears trickling down to your clothes, messing your makeup up.

Once you get into your car and start driving to your house, you almost forgot to call Sarah. When you dial her number down she answers immediately, “I’m almost out the door right now-” she started, her voice cheerful as ever.

“Don’t even bother showing up. He’s a dick” you said, it was obvious you had been crying.

“Y/n, are you okay baby? What happened?” Sarah asked, worry in her voice.

You begin to cry again, even just saying the words make you sick.

“Jayden he- he was in bed with Diana,” you said, a cry following after you.

“Oh babe, I’ll be at your house in two seconds. I’ll be there” Sarah said, the sound of her front door closing.

“No, Sarah. I- Don’t come please, I-”

“I told you when you need a shoulder to cry on,  I’ll be there. I’m on my way now” she said hanging up.

She felt awful for you. She texted Kie about the change of plans, she was staying with you for the rest of the day. Jayden cheated on you.

Kie told John B, Pope, and JJ. Hearing you got cheated on made JJ’s blood boil. What was the point of being with you if he was gonna cheat? He couldn’t stay loyal for a month? JJ wanted to do something, anything. He was about to go to your house but Kie had reminded him Sarah would be there with you. 

That’s what stopped him. Knowing you had someone else there with you.

And you did.

Sarah showed up at your house and hugged you tighter than she’s ever hugged you before. You just cried and cried and cried on the poor girl. Sarah helped you clean your makeup off as she reminded you how beautiful you look. Sarah would look at her phone occasionally, it was mostly Kie telling her how worried JJ is and JJ texting her to see how you were holding up.

You told her everything, how Jayden first started to not wake up. Now looking back it was just him waking up Diana and getting her out before you could see her. Or maybe he hid her when you showed up. You didn’t care. You told her what happened at his friend’s house, how after Sarah spoke to you all, you thought about the pogues. All you thought about was how it would’ve been better if you were with them. 

You and Sarah at one point changed into pajamas, Sarah changing into the one she leaves behind. After several hours of crying, yelling, singing, and dancing. It was beginning to get late, your eyes were both tired from the crying but also tired because you were just exhausted.

Sarah held you in her arms, your mind begins to wander. 

“Do they know?” you ask quietly. Sarah knew exactly who you were talking about. She nodded.

“What did he say?” you ask even quieter. Sarah knew who you were talking about, but she wanted you to say it. “Who?” she asks. 

“JJ.” 

Sarah closes her eyes, holding you tighter. You were fully expecting her to say nothing, you were expecting her to say he didn’t care.

“He’s been worried sick. It’s kinda cute actually. Look” Sarah says, showing you her phone and the text messages JJ has sent.

You weren’t expecting so many texts asking how you were, if he could come over, how could he help, when she thinks you’ll be fine. Sarah just kept responding with you were getting there, that he shouldn’t come over, that he shouldn’t help, and that it takes time.

But every time JJ insisted on going over, he wanted to know your current status, he wanted to help. Once Sarah stopped answering, he kept texting the same messages as before. 

At the bottom of the screen, you see the familiar three dots. They disappeared for a second and a new message popped up. “I see you reading my texts. Answer them and let me come over Sarah.”

You smile, something Sarah hasn’t seen in a while. You close your eyes once Sarah takes her phone away.

“I know this isn’t the right time. But whatever he said on the boat, Y/n. He didn’t mean it.” Sarah says quietly, when you didn’t respond, she went on.

“You see he cares about you Y/n. And it isn’t my place to tell you. But you mean a lot to him, he just doesn’t know how to handle it sometimes”

You sighed.

“Goodnight, Sarah”

Sarah was quiet, getting the memo.

“Goodnight, Y/n”

 ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

It’s been quiet now. You’ve just been in your room. Like how you were after the boat. Sarah would come over every single day, even if it meant spending 30 minutes with you, she would come over. She would even sometimes bring Kie with her. 

And every time either of them would come over, their phone would always get a text ping. And every time you glanced at their phone. Even a little bit. It always said either JJ or JJ Maybank.

You’ve been moping around, Sarah was starting to feel bad, summer was about to end and John B had suggested throwing a kegger a few days ago, JJ was not really into the idea. He also said this could be an opportunity to try to get you back with the pogues. Once John B said that JJ was down.

So after Sarah was at the chateau and went to your house to just hang out, she had brought some clothes over so she could leave to the kegger after your house. But she wanted you to join her. 

As she was getting ready in your room, you were snuggled up in your bed, watching her mumble some song lyrics that were playing in your room. Sarah always looked pretty, but she would always outdo herself when it comes to parties. She loved going to them and she loved the thrill of being at them. The adrenaline rushes you get and the energy that everyone has bounces off each other.

“You should come,” Sarah said, sending you out of your trace.

“What?”

“You should come. You haven’t been to a party in forever” she looked back at you.

“That isn’t true. Remember I would go to Jayden’s friend’s parties” you remind her, she rolled her eyes at the name of Jayden.

“Yeah, but those don’t count. I mean you haven’t been to a party with me in forever. If you don’t come right, you’ll have a shitty summer”

“This summer has already been shit.” you roll your eyes. Sarah walked to the side of your bed and pouted.

“I would be really happy if you came Y/n. I miss you”

You laugh, “I’m right here. You saw me yesterday and the day before that and the day before that you even brought Kie.”

“I miss the fun you have.”

You stood silent. The words hurt. Not because Sarah said it in a mean way, but because she was true. You haven’t been having fun, with anyone. You were different. More bland and private. Sarah used to be able to read you completely. Now you built a wall, so thick and so high that she hasn’t been able to break through it.

“Y/n,” Sarah says quietly, looking at you in your eyes. “What did JJ say on the boat?”

Your eyes leave hers. You didn’t want to tell her. You don’t want to. You didn’t want her to think of JJ differently. You didn’t want her to hate her boyfriend’s best friend. But god did you need to get it off of your chest.

“Just promise you won’t think of him differently” Sarah nodded.

“I said promise, Sarah,” you said, your voice stern.

Sarah was confused at the change of tone, “I promise I won’t think of him differently. And I won’t hate him”

You looked at her and nodded.

“After you guys left us, we didn’t talk. I was waiting for him to talk to me. Then the sun started to set and my phone had died, I thought to make a peace offering, I could give him our stash since you guys didn’t leave us food.” 

“I told John B you guys needed something but continue”

You smiled at her for a second. “Let me just say, JJ was pissed that you guys left us alone. Like he was distraught, more so than me. And I only know that because was on the edge of where you guys left us, looking in the direction you left in. But I tried to give him the chips and talk to him but he just refused. We started arguing per usual but this time he just seemed angrier. He was saying things about how I chose to be friends with the pogues and how I could’ve been friends with kooks. He then went on to say how none of you guys liked hanging out with me and gave me reasons why you put up with me”

Sarah’s heart dropped. She knew JJ, and she knew that wasn’t like JJ. She knew what she was going to do at the party.

“I know now, he’s just an idiot and wasn’t thinking before he spoke. He was just upset. He even apologized after he said it, and tried apologizing the morning after. And I don’t fully forgive him. But hearing what he was saying hurt Sarah, terribly. At that moment I thought they were true. So I told him I wouldn’t be around you guys anymore, and I wasn’t around you guys.” 

“Can I hug you?”

You nodded, Sarah getting closer to you as you both wrapped your arms around each other. “I’m so sorry that happened. None of what he said is true. I’ll talk to him tonight”

“No, don’t.” You cut her off. Sarah separated herself, confused. “I just.. I don’t want him to be mad that I told someone. I don’t want him to hate me more than he does”

Sarah laughed, “he doesn’t hate you, Y/n. He never did. He just needed to find a reason to hate you. But since you don’t want me to talk about him, I won’t.” She lied. Of course, she was going to tell him. She knew he wouldn’t be upset, but even if he did, she wouldn’t have cared.

“Thanks” you smiled at her. Sarah smiled and got up from the bed, going to your closet. Your brows knit together. “What are you doing?”

“I’m picking out your outfit for the kegger”

You sat up from your bed, “Who said I was going?”

“I did” Sarah smiled.

“Sarah, I don’t have an outfit, my hair isn’t done, and it’ll take me too long to get ready. I can’t go”

Sarah pulled out a short black dress you had stuffed in your closet long ago. “You have an outfit, I can do your hair and makeup. It’ll be quiet” Sarah said a devilish smile on her face.

“What about my mom?”

“Y/n, you walk out of your house all the time. What’s stopping you now? Just come to the kegger.”

“What if Jayden’s there?”

Sarah rolled her eyes, “he’s not gonna be there, and if he is fuck him. Show him what he cheated on. He’s a loser anyone so it shouldn’t matter if he was there or not.”

You thought about it. A smile crept on your face. You nodded and Sarah squealed loudly. She pulled you out of bed and sat you down on your vanity. She pulled your hair down and quickly went to work, taming the beast you developed over time. Not long after she started to do your makeup, telling you how excited she was you were going. Giggling at just the thought before everything started. She told you how excited Pope and John B were gonna be, she even included JJ in it.

Once she was done with your makeup you got changed in your bathroom, once you were in the dress you looked at yourself in the mirror. You knew you were gonna get clod but who cares? You looked more like yourself than you did when you were with Jayden. You liked how you looked, Sarah did a good job making it look like it took hours to get ready. 

“Are you gonna come out or stay locked up in your bathroom forever?” Sarah called out from the outside. You laughed and opened the door, her mouth opening the minute she saw you. “You look so hot!” she squealed loudly.

“I feel like it too,” you say, Sarah, laughing.

“This is so exciting. I can’t wait to get you drunk” Sarah giggled.

“No way, I’m the DD. I agreed to go, you have to agree with me now” 

Sarah pouted and gave you puppy eyes. “That may work on John b, but it doesn’t work on me. So give me your keys, I’m driving and let’s get the fuck out of here.” 

Sarah smirked, “don’t make me makeout with you right now,” she said, you both laughed, and eventually Sarah gave you the car keys as you both got into the car.

Sarah was controlling the music the whole time while you were driving to the beach. She was yelling and screaming every lyric to every song she played. Her voice just never got tired and it made you laugh the entire time. You joined her for a couple of songs, but you mainly enjoyed the show. You missed this.

When you parked the car Sarah got out after seeing her boyfriend from the window. She smiled at the way she clung onto him like he was her lifeline. You wished you had something like that, but the last thing you needed right now was boy troubles.

You locked the door and walked up to where Sarah was, who was just with the pogues, except JJ. When you showed up John B and Pope’s eyes lit up. Pope hugged you immediately, “God I missed you. I was starting to lose brain cells with these guys,” he said. You just laughed. “Long time no see,” John B said.

“Yeah, Long time no see. Missed you guys” You respond, John B awes you and hugs you.

“Can we please share her? I need to hug her too” Kie said. 

“You saw her two days ago. I haven’t seen her in almost three months” John B defended himself, still keeping you close.

Kie pulled John B away from you and hugged you gently, “Are you back now?” she asked. The rest of the pogues behind Kie waiting for an answer. You roll your eyes playfully, “since you insist” you say.

They cheer, everyone now excited to have you around again. John B gets you a cup filled with some liquor, “I’m the DD tonight, can’t” you respond.

“But it’s your first night back” Kie pleaded with you.

“I know, but I want to make sure everyone is okay for the night. Next one I’ll drink” you promised them. The pogues nodded and John B took whatever was inside the cup for you.

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and catching up. You and Kie finally talk about what happened since you were gone, bringing up the fact that JJ was different. 

“Where is he anyway?” you asked.

“He was here before you showed up, probably off with some girl” Kie responded, going back to how everything was.

You felt a pang in your heart with the thought of him with someone else. This wasn’t the first time you felt that pang when someone mentioned JJ with a girl. But there wasn’t much you could do about it. So you chose to do what you always did, ignored it.

You spoke to John B about Sarah, and how much she missed you while you were gone. But when she started going over to your house every day that she was happier than ever. He acknowledged what happened with Jayden and said he was sorry for what happened. John B always felt like a brother to you, so it was no surprise that your heart grew warm when he felt bad. You told him not to worry about it and to just focus on Sarah tonight and have fun.

You then moved on to Pope who had, so many things to tell you. He was never a big drinker so he was soberer than you are you thought. He told you all of his thoughts and theories he had when you were away. He was giving you updates about schools and such and explained he missed having deep, thoughtful conversations with you. Out of the corner of your eye though, you saw a girl looking at him. You whispered it into his ear and when he looked she blushed. You took that as a sign to find Sarah as you told him to shoot his shot.

You went looking for a certain blond. You hadn’t seen him the entire time you were there and you were beginning to think he left at some point. Sarah found you first though, so when she saw you, she pulled you and started to dance with you. You could tell Sarah was already drunk but you didn’t mind it, the whole point of the kegger was to get drunk and have fun.

You’ve been at the kegger for a couple of hours now, talking to other people, meeting the last of the tourins that were the last on the island. You were enjoying yourself, completely sober, and still having a good time. 

But then you saw him. 

Hanging out with his friends. Pointing at you and looking back at his friends. You were gonna ignore him, he didn’t deserve your time of day. Once the laughing got louder you chose to try to walk away. You didn’t want to start something at the kegger, not after everything you’ve been this summer already.

But once you started to walk away, someone bed your arm. You quickly turn around and it’s April. Jayden’s other girl friend, or maybe someone else he was sleeping with.

“Y/n, where’d you go? Come join us” April said.

You shook your head quickly, “I’m sorry April. I have to get back to my friends” you say, putting your hand on top of her’s so she could let go. 

“We just wanted to talk to you, it’ll take five minutes. Tops.” April smiled, you were cautious. You looked around the kegger for any sign of your friends so you could get out of this situation. But you couldn’t find one, not even Sarah who had been dancing the whole night. When you looked back you were already being dragged back to April and the rest of Jayden’s friends.

“Y/n!” Kolton called out, you awkwardly smiled. He was standing in between his friends, looking at you up and down. Smirking.

“We haven’t seen you in forever. Just because Jayden was fucking Diana doesn’t mean you should ditch us” Austin slurred, the rest of them laughing with him.

“Hey could you guys make this quick, I have to be with my friends,” you tell them, visibly uncomfortable.

“Your friends that you left? That you replaced?” Alana started, “if they were your friends you wouldn’t have replaced them. Stay here with us” you looked at Jayden since he was the only person who knew about the pogues, he didn’t know why you left them, just the fact that you spaced yourself from them.

“I’m sorry if you guys aren’t gonna say something worth my time, I’ll get going,” you say, beginning to walk away. But Jayden had grabbed your wrist.

“Don’t worry about them, I just wanted to talk to you. We’re all drunk” Jayden confessed, the rest of them laughing. You tried to pull your wrist away but he kept his hold on it.

“I just wanted to talk to you.” He repeats, one of his hands caressing your cheek, the other still on your wrist. You moved your face away from his touch.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Jayden”

He scoffed. “You don’t want to talk to me? Why? Because I was fucking someone behind your back?” he laughed. “It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. I mean it doesn’t seem like it is now. You’re at a party, dancing like a slut. Talking to other guys” 

Your eyes widened at his words. He probably won’t even remember this in the morning. You didn’t care about him, you never loved him, and he was just your boyfriend for a little over a month. You shouldn’t even count that as a relationship.

But if he didn’t matter, why are his words making you upset?

“I should’ve guessed you liked being thrown around. If I did I could’ve given my boys a chance. Right guys?” he asked his friends

“You know I was already asking for it,” Rafael said.

“I don’t like used-up whores” Kolton responded with bitterness in his voice. His friends laughed at his comment.

“Come on, compared to April? It’ll be an upgrade” Garrett said.

“She’s been used up. I should know. And every other guy here knows it too” Jayden continues.

“Didn’t you say you were fucking Diana because I wasn’t giving it up to you? Retracing your words?” you remind him. Jayden smiles.

“That’s what was my favorite thing about you. You were always so feisty. It’s kinda turning me on now” he said getting closer. 

Your fight or flight kicks in finally, and you try to get his hand on your wrist. “Let go of me” you mumbled to him. His friends around him are saying awful things about it. Calling you a slut, a whore, ugly, dry, used up, fake, annoying. Everything in the books.

“Come on, Y/n. One last time” Jayden said, his lips getting close to yours. But you slap him just before he could. He was holding the side of his face with both of his hands, your wrists finally free.

“Leave me the fuck alone and get the fuck off the island,” You said sternly, you walked away from them and went straight to where the drinks were. 

Their words to you shouldn’t matter, they don’t matter to you. Just some random people you knew for a month at most. Then why are you washing down their insults with drinks? You were taking shots, anyone that handed you a drink, you took, you even made your own. With the alcohol in your system, you forgot everything they said, you forgot everything that happened over the summer. It didn’t matter anymore, you were having fun.

JJ had been watching you from the minute you showed up, from afar obviously. He could tell you were looking for him at some points, but he didn’t have the guts to go up to you. So he just stood watching. 

Usually, JJ would have a drink, but he didn’t have one. You may hate him and he saw that you weren’t drinking but he just wanted to make sure you were okay. He saw the way you spoke to John B, Kie, Pope, he saw the way you danced with Sarah. You looked like you needed this break from the world. He saw you speaking to some old friends and saw you speak with some new ones, but you looked okay.

He saw someone walk up to you, a very drunk girl. He saw you look around but you end up being pulled away. JJ is about to walk up to you but someone else gets his attention.

“JJ!” Sarah calls, sloppily walking over to him, JJ meets her halfway and laughs, his back now facing where you were. 

“Sarah, how much have you had to drink?” JJ asked, still laughing.

“Not enough, but that isn’t why I came over here. I wanted to talk to you about Y/n” she slurred her words, but JJ understood every word. His face became serious when your name was mentioned.

“She told me what happened on the boat. And I just want you to know that I don’t hate you. I really like you.” Sarah says, “but I know you like Y/n”

JJ’s face turned pink, he felt blessed that it was night and Sarah wasn’t able to see that well. “What? Where’d you get that idea” he asked her.

“You’re always asking for her JJ. You’re always looking for her, even before the boat thing. I want you to know I get it, you have abandonment issues. So do I, look at my mom. But I don’t want those issues to define who you are and how you are around people” Sarah’s words are combined, but JJ is listening. “I know you like her. I know you think you shouldn’t be with her. I think the same thing with John B. But you know what I do? I show him more love and affection than he’s ever had before.”

Sarah pauses to catch her breath, drinking what’s in her red solo cup. “And she doesn’t hate you. She never has hated you. I always told John B that you two would look so cute together. And you guys would. But I need you to be better to her, JJ. I need you to forget about your issues for a second and show her who you truly are.” she ranted, “If you want her, you’re gonna have to work harder than before, But it’ll be worth it because she’s worth it. You need to fight for her. She likes you too JJ. That’s why she took your words so seriously. Cause your opinion matters to her more than John B’s or Pope’s or Kie’s. Maybe even mine” Sarah laughed at the last sentence. “So be kind to her, show her how you truly feel about her, and make sure you love her more than she loves you. Because of you don’t, I’ll break your neck” she laughed even louder than before.

JJ was thinking about her words, and even though she was drunk, she wasn’t wrong. JJ has always liked you, he thinks he always will like you. JJ was always a player but when you showed up, he got worse because of it. It came to the point where he imagined you instead of the girl he was actually with. 

John B came over and put his arm around Sarah, “what’s happening over here?” he laughs, sipping his drink now too. John B is now drunk, to be expected.

“I was just telling JJ that he should be with Y/n and that he likes her and that she likes him back” Sarah filled him in, and John B’s mouth opened.

“Dude, I’ve been saying for like ever. It came to the point where I thought you were in love with her” John B laughs, “and she likes you back”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Sarah said loudly, both her and her boyfriend now laughing.

“Then when they start dating we can go on double dates. We’ll be so cute, all of us” Sarah commented. 

“Just go for it. I know she means a lot to you, she always had.” John B said.

“Do I mean a lot to you?” Sarah asked him.

“Of course baby. I love you” John B said.

“I love you too,” Sarah said, their lips then locked on each, making out in front of JJ. 

He internally threw up in his mouth and turned around, but when he looked back he didn’t see you anymore. His eyes scattered everywhere and he couldn’t find you. He saw the new friends you made, he saw the mini bar, he saw some kooks, he saw a guy with his friends holding his face, he saw where you danced earlier.

JJ decided to make himself be seen, he saw Kie who was talking to some girl about ocean stuff. Kie also being drunk.

“Hey, have you seen Y/n?” JJ asked

“No, but she was looking for you earlier. Did you see her earlier she was looking so hot” Kie confessed. 

“Yeah, she was. If you see her, tell me” JJ said moving along to Pope.

“Hey man, I haven’t seen you in a while,” Pope said, clearly sober as day.

“Yeah, just been watching. Have you seen Y/n?”

Pope shook his head, “last time I saw her she was taking shots with some guys. When I went up to her she gave me Sarah’s keys.” he said holding them out.

JJ nodded, he took out the keys to the twinkie, “here, take these. You’ll drive John B and Sarah home tonight. I’ll take Kie and Y/n” 

Pope nodded to the new plan, the two of them traded keys and JJ walked away. He was now looking for you. He started to ask random people if they saw you, everyone saying something different.

Forty-five minutes had passed since he spoke to Pope and he still hasn’t found you. It was 3 AM and the kegger was still alive as ever. JJ was looking for you everywhere and he couldn’t find the girl who last spoke to you. Once JJ walked further down the beach, he then saw a familiar pretty girl in a familiar pretty black dress.

You were wobbling all over the place, talking to some random guy about your problems. Your words were slurring worst than Sarah’s who you saw ten minutes okay. But you then hear a familiar voice.

“Y/n?” he says.

You turn around and there he is. You excuse yourself from the guy, and cling to him “JJ!” you say excitingly.

JJ was so confused, the last time he saw you, you were stone-cold sober. Now he’s seeing you towards the water, wobbling around, talking to the air, and excusing yourself from the same air to hug him tightly. 

“I missed you so much,” you say to him, your head in his chest. You were way too drunk for him to try to stall to wait for Kie. He decided he would take you home right there, Pope could take Kie with him.

“Hey, we’re gonna go home okay?” 

All you do was nod, separate yourself from him, and start walking with him, wobbling next to him. JJ noticed it immediately and held onto you, his hand on your side to pull you close to him, your arm around his shoulders. 

JJ began to look for Pope who he found quickly, he raised his eyebrows and looked at you. Pope got the memo and nodded, now watching Kie. Once JJ knew he walked to Sarah’s car, you were babbling the whole way there. And once you got to the car you were silent, JJ opened the backseat so you could lie down.

He made sure you were comfortable and secure, once he knew you were he went in the driver’s seat. The minute he started driving, you started to speak up again.

“Where are we going?” you ask.

“I’m dropping you off home,” JJ said.

“No no no no no. I don’t want to go home. I want to go to John B’s house. Where you stay”

“Are you sure? I could take you to your hou-”

“No!” you demanded, “Alright, calm down,” JJ said.

“Hey, next one’s on me” 

“Whatever you say, cupcake”

You laughed quietly in the back, then it slowly became louder. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

“So you know about Jayden right? The guy that cheated on me? Well, he was the keeger and his friends were saying so many things to me. Like really mean things, and so was he. But tonight I-” you cut yourself off with your laughter. “I slapped him” you laughed even louder than before.

JJ stood silent, letting you speak longer. “It was so funny, you should’ve seen his face. You should’ve been there,” you said then you were quiet for a while. “Why weren’t you there?” you asked quietly.

JJ looked at you through his top mirror and then looked back at the road. He cleared his throat, “I was there” he responded.

“No, you weren’t. I kept looking for you and looking for you and I couldn’t find you. I thought you were with a girl. Were you?”

“No, I was watching you”

“Like a stalker?”

JJ was silent. Now that you say it like that it sounded creepy. He was just looking out for you but that’s something else a stalker would say. The more he thought about it the more it made him uncomfortable, but you sent him out of his trance with you giggling.

“JJ Maybank is my stalker” you giggled to yourself. JJ stood quiet letting you have your moment.

“Jayden was so boring anyway, I was out of his league anyway.” 

“You sure are” 

“You haven’t even seen him and you’re agreeing. That’s how you know I’m right” JJ laughed at your drunken state. Your words slurring together and the way you’re trying so hard to form a sentence is so cute to him.

“He just wanted to hangout with his boring friends all the time. And I always had to take him because he didn’t know how to drive” you laughed. “Do you know how I found out he cheated on me? We were meant to meet Sarah and then when I got to his house, I found him in bed with his girl space friend. Might as well be his actual girlfriend for how long they were fucking each other, it started before he and I started dating, which wasn’t long but still. And you know what excuse he gave? Because we never had sex, isn’t that childish?” You ranted.

JJ has only ever heard what Sarah has told him, so hearing you say how it went, made JJ upset. More than upset. It felt like when he first heard you got cheated on. He never found out why he cheated on you, but now that he does, he’s angry about it. He cheated on you because he needed to fuck someone and you weren’t willing? He’s a fucking idiot he thought. “You wouldn’t do that, would you JJ?” you ask him.

“No, not to you”

“Not to me or in general?”

“Both,” he said.

You and JJ stood silent. 

“JJ do you hate me?” you ask.

He looks at you through the mirror again, “I could never hate you, Y/n”

“Are you mad at me?

JJ was quiet for a moment, “no. Never.”

You giggled, “you know what I realized, his name is Jayden, and your name is JJ. Isn’t that funny?” you laughed. “What’s even funnier is how you both have the same basic features. His hair is almost blond and he has blue eyes too” 

JJ tilted his head to the side slightly after hearing the news. He thinks he knows who you’re talking about, mainly because he thinks he’s seen him at the wreck with some girl.

“But don’t worry JJ. You’re my favorite blue-eyed person. I can’t say blond because of Sarah. But you’re my favorite guy with blond hair”

JJ smiled, “thanks Y/n. You’re my favorite too” 

He pulls up to the chateau, once he puts the car in park and grabs the keys, he’s already going straight to the back. He scootches you closer to him so he could pick you up instead of making you walk, and he does.

You grab on around JJ’s neck as he carries you bridal style into the chateau and into the room he usually sleeps in. JJ places you on the bed and takes out a pair of sweatpants for you to wear. 

“I know you’re wearing a dress. Put these on, I’ll be right outside the door, and tell me when I could come in” JJ said, leaving you with the sweatpants. When he’s out he hears some groans and mumbles, but nothing too serious. He grabs a bucket and fills it with a little bit of water, a rag, and makeup wipes that Sarah had left, waiting at the door for you.

You open the door to let him back in and when JJ looks at you, you’re not only in his sweatpants but in his shirt, when he wants in he sees the discarded dress on the floor. “This is for you, you could take it off in the bathroom,” JJ said, handing you the makeup wipes.

You look at him in awe. Like he just hung the moon and the stars. And maybe in your drunken state, he did. You take the wipes and went to the bathroom closing the door behind you. JJ places the bucket close to the bed just in case you have an accident in the middle of the night and he isn’t there.

He takes his extra time to change into the same attire as you, a shirt with sweatpants. Usually, he wouldn’t have a shirt but, out of being a gentleman, he will tonight.

You walk out of the bathroom and hand him back the wipes, climbing into bed. JJ puts them away and goes back to you, crouching down so you could be at your level. “I’m gonna sleep on the sofa bed, when Kie gets here she can sleep in here with you. If you need anything just wake me up. I left a bucket f-” JJ was cut off.

But he wasn’t cut off by your words, or by the pogues coming home. He was cut off by a kiss, a kiss you gave him. It was unlike you. JJ was stunned for a moment, but his body moved as in instinct. Your lips were soft and warm. He can taste the alcohol from your lips. If it was any other situation, he would’ve deepened the kiss, grabbing your face. Pulling you closer so your bodies could collide with each other. He would’ve shown you how long he had been waiting and hungry for it but he didn’t think he deserved it. 

But he pulls away from you. When he does, he rests his forehead against yours, and you’re pouting at him. Disappointed in him. “Did I do something wrong?” you ask, sounding like you were about to cry.

“No, baby. No No. I just-” he was thinking of the right words to say. “You’re drunk, Y/n. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret or forget about in the morning”

“But I won’t regret or forget about it J.” You tell him. 

JJ doesn’t know how to respond to that. The only thing he knows how to do is to kiss your cheek to keep you satisfied, which it does. He stands up straight.

“If I were sober, would you have kissed me back?” you giggled. You knew the answer, you just wanted him to say it. JJ rolled his eyes playfully, walking to the door. “Wait where are you going?” you sat up from the bed. 

“I told you I’ll sleep on the couch” 

“Stay here”

JJ looks between you and the door. “Y/n, I don’t think I-”

“Please.”

You flashed your puppy eyes at him, your first time doing it to him. He never understood how you were able to get whatever with it. But now he does. 

He sighs and slowly walks to the bed, slipping under the covers next to you. He feels the heat you’ve gained from under the blanket, he also feels you relax. Once he’s laying down, you wrap your arms around him, leaving a hand on top of his chest. JJ relaxes and puts an arm around your shoulders, keeping you close. His closes for a second, but once you move your hand on top of his chest slightly, he opens them again.

He notices the black and blue mark around your wrist, “Y/n” he whispers. You hum in response, too tired to answer anything anymore. “Who did that to your wrist?”

Your breathing pauses for a beat or two but continues soon after. “Jayden,” you said quietly. “And why did he do that?” he continues to speak in whispers, but you hum back at him. “You can tell me, baby. Why did he make a bruise on your wrist?” he asked, closing his eyes and leaning his head against yours.

You breathed in and out, “He and his friends were saying things about me. Calling me a slut, commenting on my dress, and who I was with. Telling me how easy I was, just saying mean things to me. When I tried to he wouldn’t let go after I told him to. He just kept talking and I think he was about to kiss me. But once I slapped him he let go though. And I left after that J.” 

“And then you got drunk afterward?”

You hum, JJ is quiet. “Are you mad at me?”

JJ shakes his head lightly, “no. Never.”

 ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

JJ had woken up twice. 

The first time was very early in the morning, and you were still in each other’s arms. You holding onto him especially tight. He had opened his eyes and once he saw you, he went back to sleep.

And again in the afternoon. The chateau was quiet, he knew everyone was sleeping. He noticed that the warm body that was next to him was no longer next to him. He wouldn’t be lying if he said he wasn’t upset you were no longer next to him. But he reminds himself you couldn’t have gone far, you didn’t have a car and you’re most definitely hungover.

JJ got up from the bed, rubbed his eyes, and made his way out of the familiar room, his dress still on the floor as he passed by it. He walks out of the room quietly and slowly, Pope sleeping in a small chair and Kie sleeping on the couch. He looks out the door and sees a familiar someone, the person he wanted to see when he woke up. 

When he walked out of the house you were sitting on the edge of the dock, the hms pogue boat on your right. You hadn’t noticed a new person was there with you until the wood you were sitting on started to make noise, it didn’t take a genius to know it was him. 

He stood standing as you were still sitting in his sweatpants and shirt. It was silent for a minute, a silence that made you both want to rip off your skin. But you didn’t. Because he broke the silence.

“Hey”

That’s all he said, after everything, last night all he had to say was hey. 

“Hi,” you said quietly.

“How are you holding up?”

“Other than a major migraine and a bucket full of embarrassment. I’m peachy”

JJ smiled a bit, he’s happy you were able to see it though. “Do you remember anything that happened last night? You got drunk pretty quickly”

“Yeah I remember” JJ stood quiet for a minute. He wanted to make you remember everything that happened last night. From when you first started drinking to when you asked him to stay in bed with you. 

“Everything?” He asked quietly.

You knew what he was talking about. The kiss.

You looked back at him and looked up to look at hin the eyes, “everything.”

JJ breathes in and out quietly, you turn back to the water. “Do you remember how excited everyone was to see you?” You smiled at the reminder. The smiles on their faces. You nodded in response. “They really missed you. I’m sure you already know that, they most likely told you. Does this mean you’re staying?”

You sighed. You didn’t know what you were gonna do. You planned on staying last night, but now with this thing with JJ. The boundaries you crossed. You don’t think you’ll ever be his friend after this, you’ll always feel that feeling of something more, little did you know so would he.

“I don’t know” you answered truthfully. 

JJ stood up straighter, he was confused. You were having so much fun last night, it looked so natural to you. The thought of you not coming back and his friends being upset again crushed him.

“What do you mean? I thought you were gonna back up”

“Things have changed JJ, especially now. I don’t think I can put myself through it, not again”

“Y/n, our fighting isn’t going to happen again. They need you around. You don’t understand what it was like when you were gone.”

You scoffed at that. You didn’t understand what you were going through. He doesn’t understand what you went through.

“I went through the same thing as they did, if not worse.”

“You aren’t seriously comparing the two are you?”

You stood up from the edge of the dock, you turned to face him. “I am because you don’t get to tell me what they felt when I had to deal with the guilt of leaving.”

“And you’re willing to feel that guilt again?” You scoffed at his words, beginning to walk past him. “I can’t tell you what to do but I can encourage you to stay. They want you around Y/n, they need you around” he went on to say, you continued to walk away.

“I need you around”

You stopped. You felt so many emotions. There was a part of you that wanted to run back to him and smother him with kisses. The other half of you wanted to yell and scream in his face for how he treated you.

So you listened to that other half.

You turned around quickly and looked like you were on a mission. “That’s real funny of you JJ because three months ago you wanted nothing to do with me. Now you say you need. Do you need me to be around you? If you need someone around you don’t treat them like shit and that’s exactly what you did to me.” 

“Y/n, listen-”

“No, you listen!” you yelled, not caring if the pogues woke up and see you yelling at him. “I was nothing but nice to you and you treated me like I was trash. Like I wasn’t there like I didn’t exist. Like I didn’t matter. But now. Now! I matter. After I kiss you when I’m drunk, I matter!” 

JJ was silent. You had every right to yell at him, he did this. He made you like this. He understands how the switch-up confuses you. He knows he deserves every second of this, this is something he’s willing to take. So he just lets it happen.

“You remember when I asked you why you hated me? Do you? And you always told me that it was because I was a kook. What about now? Does it still matter I’m still a kook? Or does it just go away?! Tell me JJ. Does it just go away?!” you push his chest. 

“I had to leave my friends because of you! I got into a relationship to forget the feeling! To forget the thought that I abandoned them! And you did that! You made me abandon my friends! It’s not fair how you made me leave them and now you’re telling me they want me back. That you need me back!” You look up at him and all you see are his sad blue eyes.

You push his chest again, and again, and again, and again. There were tears quickly coming down your face, and you were yelling at him. Telling him how it wasn’t fair. Telling him he’s a dickhead. Telling him how you hate how he makes you feel. Telling him how you feel right now.

JJ wrapped his arms around you as you tried to keep pushing. Stopping once he was too close so you just sobbed into him, wrapping your arms around him too. JJ kept kissing the top of your head, trying to soothe you and call you down. He just wanted to be with you.

You hated him right now. Sometimes people say things out of anger. Sometimes people say things they don’t mean. But not you. You meant every word. And you wanted to make sure he knew you meant it, and he did know. 

You did feel like it was unfair. You knew he was a dickhead. You felt angry. And you did hate how he makes you feel. You want to fully hate him. But you can’t, even if you try to convince yourself, you can’t. 

Once you calmed down, JJ pulled away slightly, but you held him closer. You didn’t want to let him go you didn’t want to go back to how you were before. You didn’t want to go back to reality. You wanted to stay here, clinging onto him, and not thinking about anything else.

But once JJ tried to slip away again, you knew it wasn’t possible. 

He looked at you, but you weren’t looking back at him, staring at the floor. JJ lifted your chin to look at him. Once you did he wiggled his other hand to wrap it around your hand. He held your hand so gently, but he still had a good grip on you. 

“I’m so sorry for everything. For the way, I treated you over the years, for the words I’ve said to you. I’m sorry for what I said on the boat. I’m sorry for making you leave us. I’m sorry for not being there for you when I should’ve been. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t there like you didn’t exist like you didn’t matter. Because you do matter. You matter to me. You always have” 

There were tears still streaming down your face, but now JJ was matching you. He didn’t realize he was crying until the droplet was hanging from his face. 

“You shouldn’t say things you don’t mean JJ,” you said quietly.

“But I do mean them. I mean all of them.” 

“JJ-” 

He kisses you. His hand is on the side of your side to keep you close. He was gentle with you, but you felt the hunger from his lips. You felt the longing and felt how bad he wanted this, needed this even. It wasn’t sloppy like last night, it wasn’t a chance he took. It was passionate. It was hard. It was perfect.

He was so warm. He smelled like leftover cologne and wood. JJ’s eyes were closed. His nose was brushing against your’s but you didn’t mind it. His lips feel smooth and it was obvious JJ was a good kisser. He wasn’t rough with you, he wanted you to feel it this time. 

For the first second and a half, you stopped breathing. But you eventually kissed him back, closing your eyes with him. Your hands were on his face and his neck and once he felt you kiss back the hand that once held yours was holding your waist, pulling you close. 

His mind fogged up with just you. Only you. Nothing and no one else, just you. All those hookups meant nothing because right now you’re with him. All those years of yearning for you finally came true.

Your mind fogged up with just him. You’ve always liked JJ, maybe you even loved him. But all the memories from before came rushing back. All of them. 

You pulled back, JJ following you. But then he couldn’t follow you anymore. You both were breathing heavily. Again, his forehead leaning against yours. 

“J,” you said, your voice breathy.

JJ doesn’t respond, waiting for you to finish.

“I have to go,” you say.

His heart dropped. He knew what you meant. He knew what you were trying to stay. He doesn’t want you to go, he doesn’t want you to leave him. 

“No… Stay”

“I have to go, J” stepping away from him, looking into his eyes.

“You asked me last night if you were sober and if I would’ve kissed you back. And I would have. I would’ve kissed you at the kegger. I would’ve kissed you on the boat. I would’ve kissed you at the chateau. I would’ve kissed you when I first met you. Please don’t go”

“I can’t J.” your hands leave him.

“Let me take you home at least, please Y/n.” he pleaded with you.

You shook your head at him. “I can’t let you do that J,” you said

“Why not?”

“Cause then I’ll stay here,” you said softly.

JJ just sighed, looking up at the sky for a second, his eyes getting watery again. He then looked at the ground to avoid eye contact with him.

“I’m taking Sarah’s keys. When she wakes up if you could tell her”

JJ never responded, just silently crying, looking at the ground. You walked towards him and grabbed ahold of his wrist and shoulder to keep your balance. JJ saw the bruise around your wrist again. And you kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you around JJ” you whispered.

You then walked back into the chateau, you were crying too now. You just kept wiping your tears when you walked inside the chateau. You grabbed the car keys and quickly walked out, looking at JJ one last time.

He was crouched down, his arms folded and his head on them. He would move slightly. He was sobbing.

You looked away and got into Sarah’s car, starting it and driving away from him. 

Much to JJ’s unlucky life, the pogues had seen and watched the scene. When you walked in Kie and Pope pretended to still be asleep but you didn’t even glance at them. JJ was out on the dock for an hour before he wiped his tears and went back inside the chateau. When he walked in, the pogues all looked at him. 

He didn’t want to deal with them and their questions right now so he just went back to the room you slept in and locked the door behind him. He went into bed, your scent still engraved in the sheets even when you weren’t there for long. When he sat up from the bed, he saw your dress in the corner of the room.

JJ closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. Wanting nothing more than to just have you with him again.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

Now and again you would go back to the chateau but only went JJ wasn’t around. Usually, he was working and Sarah would promise you he wouldn’t be there for a while. You would go in your car and just hang out with them like you used to. You even had a chance to surf with them. 

But when he came back, before he could even see you, you would quickly say your goodbyes and leave in your car. That’s the only reason why you would bring your car, it was so you could make a quick exit. 

Fortunately for you, the pogues never pestered you with questions. They never asked why you were avoiding JJ. It seemed like they were just happy to have you around. But you felt the absence when you were there. There was a missing piece.

Unfortunately for JJ, they always asked him questions. Every time they saw him they asked him why you were avoiding him. He would simply say, “you guys saw what happened. I don’t know” and then go to the room he stood in.

They wanted you both back together but the boat idea was out of the question, and that ruined everything for everyone. So they didn’t know what they were going to do now.

Today JJ was with the pogues at the wreck, helping Kie do her job. John B’s keys with her mom and Sarah’s phone with her dad so they couldn’t get distracted. But now they were just taking a break, all of them outside of the wreck. Talking about nonsense.

A car full of people pulled up to the parking lot. They were extremely loud, the pogues glancing at them a few times but continuing their conversation. Three girls and three girls get out of the car.

“They look familiar” Sarah mumbled, the pogues then looking at them as they walked to the entrance.

A guy got out of the passenger seat, “make sure it comes quick!” he said, leaning against the car. 

“Oh my god,” Sarah said, “What?” Pope asked confused.

The guy’s friends laughed and walked into the wreck, the guy now scrolling on his phone.

“That’s Jayden,” Sarah said. JJ looked at the guy, with light brown hair, and blue eyes. It was him.

“Whose Jayden?” John B asked, getting overprotective. 

“Y/n’s ex. The guy that cheated on her over the summer. She showed me pictures of him and his friends one time.” 

“Is he? JJ and I have seen him with some girl, it was the girl with the dark hair” Kie said.

“That’s Diana! Oh my god, don’t look at him. I don’t know if Y/n showed me what I look like. Act like we’re having a conversation” Sarah said, looking away, Jayden not even noticing the pogues.

“We were having a conversation,” Pope said plainly.

“You know what I mean!” Sarah whisper yelled. 

The conversation they were just having again picked up, but JJ didn’t engage in it this time. He just kept staring at him. He never left his sight. The bruise on your wrist flashed in his eyes. The memories of what you said he and his friends were saying to you popped up in his mind. JJ just saw red. 

He stood up, the pogues not noticing at first. 

“You’re Jayden, right?” JJ asked, walking to him.

Jayden looked up and looked JJ up and down. He looked confused. The pogues looked up once they heard JJ’s voice.

“Yeah, why?” Jayden responded.

Not even a second later JJ punched him in the face, Jayden getting low to the ground.

“JJ!” Kie yelled, the rest of the pogues getting up to stop him.

But JJ never stopped, he just kept punching him, and punching him, and punching him. He couldn’t stop. He just kept thinking of the bruise, and your face when you told when what they said. He kept thinking of you.

Eventually, the pogues finally pulled JJ off, “What the fuck man?” Jayden yelled, blood leaking out of his nose.

“Why don’t you give me a bruise huh?! Give me one!” JJ yelled out. 

John B and Pope were trying to calm JJ down, holding him back away from Jayden. The both of them yelled at each other, Sarah trying to calm down Jayden from the other side of the parking lot.

Because of the amount of noise outside, people started to notice, includg Jayden’s friends who walked out.

“Diana, call the cops,” one of them said, the dark-haired girl nodding.

“No, don’t call the cops!” Kie said, the girl just looking at Kie like she was crazy.

“You think you can just cheat on her and not face the consequences?!” JJ yelled

“Holy shit, you’re with Y/n?” Jayden laughed. 

“That slut?” one of the girls laughed.

“What did you just say?” Sarah asked, walking to the girl that said it. 

“Sarah, don’t.” John B warned.

“I should’ve known she had a thing for dirt. I’m not surprised, she’s dirty herself” Jayden continued to laugh. 

“Say that again!” JJ yelled. 

JJ was itching to go back at him again, and he knew that if he kept talking about you. It wouldn’t end well.

“I called her slut, is there a problem?” the girl said.

“Yeah, it is a fucking problem. That’s my fucking best friend” Sarah got in the girl’s personal space. 

There was so much yelling going on, the boys were yelling at each other, Sarah and this random girl were coming up, and Diana was on the phone as Kie was arguing with another girl who wanted Diana to call the police.

“She’s all used up now and you still want that bitch? I could only imagine how slutty she is now” Jayden said.

That was JJ’s limit. 

JJ pushed John B and Pope off of him and went straight to Jayden, yet again punching him.

Jayden’s friends ran towards JJ and John B and Pope went to get them off of JJ. The boys have their brawl of three going against four.

Sarah took this as an opportunity to hit the girl in the face. Another girl came up from behind her but Kie went after her, that being the only fair fight of two going against two. Diana was already on the phone with the police. 

Multiple people from the restaurant ran outside to record the brawls instead of trying to stop them. The pogues seemed to be winning, JJ even holding his own when Jayden and one of his friends tried going after him together.

Not long after, the cops had shown up, separating everyone from everyone. Now it was a yelling match between the pogues and some random people on the island. The randoms had visibly more injuries than the pogues did. The only injured ones were Sarah and Kie who only had a scratch. The randoms had blood coming out of their noses, their cheeks were cut, and their lips were cut. And JJ knew he broke Jayden’s nose. They looked like they went through a brawl. While the pogues looked like they got a little dirty.

“Talk shit about my girl again and see what happens!” JJ yelled

“How you tried to fight her when she was already beating your friend’s ass?!” Kie yelled at the girl

“What did you think was gonna happen when you put your hands on him?!” John B yelled.

“Get the fuck off the island!” Sarah yelled.

“Don’t say shit you don’t mean” Pope yelled.

“Your girl? Or the island’s?!” Jayden yelled.

“You should’ve told your friend to back off man!” one of the guys yelled.

“She beat my ass?! Please” A girl yelled.

Everyone was being held back, the officer who had JJ having to work harder than the rest of them. JJ just kept pulling and pulling. He was ready to pounce on his prey and beat him again. Eventually, everyone was in handcuffs. The random guys with each other in one car, the two random girls in another with another random boy. Pope, JJ, and John B in one car, Sarah and Kie in another.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

You were watching tv as you were eating your cereal. Sarah or Kie texted you that they be free and JJ was with them so you decided to keep yourself busy. You had just cleaned your room and bathroom, so you just needed a little break before you could do anything else.

Your phone started to ring next to you, and when you looked at the screen it was a random number. You usually don’t answer random numbers you don’t know, but something in you told you to answer this one, so you did.

“Hello?”

“Y/n! Thank god you answered. I need a small favor from you.”

“Sarah? What’s going on? Is everything alright?” 

“No actually. Uhm.” Sarah stopped for a second, she sounded like she was speaking to multiple people but went back to you. “We got arrested” 

You almost dropped your cereal, pausing your movie. You got up from the couch and walked to your kitchen. “We? Whose we? Who got arrested? How did you get arrested? Why did you get arr-” 

“John B, Pope, Kie, JJ. We were at the wreck and- I’ll tell you everything. But we just need you to bail us out. Please. I didn’t want to call my dad and he-” 

“Of course, I’m on my way,” you say, putting a hoodie over your shirt but keeping your shorts on.

“You’re a lifesaver, I owe you one,” Sarah said, the stress coming off of her shoulders.

“Don’t even worry about it. I’ll be there as quick as I can, alright?” You say putting on your shoes.

“We’ll be waiting,” Sarah said before hanging up.

You drove as quickly as you could to the Wreck. Grabbing something in your car before, getting out, and seeing Kie’s mom immediately. “Hi, uhm. I don’t know if you heard about Kie yet or not. But if you did don’t worry about it, I’m getting everything solved right now. But did they leave anything behind?” you ask her.

Kie’s mom nodded and made you follow her to the back, “This is Sarah’s phone and John B’s keys. I don’t how you get it done, just get them home. Safely” she responded, you nodded and quickly walked out.

You got in the twinkie instead, you knew you wouldn’t be able to fit all of the pogues in your car. You drove to the Sheriff’s department quickly, once you parked, and quickly walked in and went straight to Shoupe’s office.

The receptionist tried calling you to stop you but you didn’t care, when you walked into his office and the receptionist tried to stop you, Sheriff Shoupe stopped her.

“That’s alright, She can stay,” he said, putting his hand up to defend you. She huffed and walked back to where she usually sat. “What can I do for you today, pum-”

“I know you have my friends. I want them back” You say in a stern voice.

Shoupe sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You want your friends back” he repeats, more so for himself than for you. “Do you even know what they did? They got into a brawl with people from the mainland. This isn’t some stupid prank, JJ broke a boy’s nose”

You closed your eyes and breathed in and out. You knew the people from the mainland were Jayden and his friends. And you knew the boy JJ broke his nose was Jayden.

“And where are the people from the mainland now? Running free while my friends are-”

“They’re here with them if you would like to see them,” he said.

You ran a hand through your hair, you didn’t want to see them. Shoupe knew you were starting to get stressed.

“Y/n, does your mom know you’re here right now?”

You laughed at that, he was trying to scare you with your mom. She would be upset you were there, and she would be even more upset that you went to bail your friends out. But you didn’t care about that, not right now anyway. 

“Can’t I just bail my friends out? Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be”

“There’s a lot of paperwork that involves an adult. I’m sure you know that by now with JJ. I don’t think you would want to deal with that again. So Miss Y/l/n. You may leave my office right now” Shoupe said going back to his computer. 

You threw an orange envelope on his desk. Shoupe stopped what he was doing and looked at it. “What is this?” he asked

“Ten thousand dollars. Three thousand three hundred for my friends. Four thousand seventy for the mainlands. The rest of the two thousand, seven hundred, and forty dollars goes to you and the money you can use to make sure this incident isn’t on their records. On my friend’s records.”

“Are you bribing me, Miss Y/l/n?”

“I’m helping my friends. Ten thousand is my only and final number” You warned him. 

Shoupe was in thought, he was thinking about the choices he had here. He then spoke into one of those police speakers, “let the kids out. All of them” he said, you smiled and walked out of his office. 

None of the pogues went through the system and all of this was being kept off of their record, they were safe another day. Sarah was the first to walk out, running and hugging you when she saw you.

“You’re the best” she whispered in your ear. 

“Yeah I know” you laughed. 

Kie walked out after, also hugging you. “Oh my god, I love you and your money,” she said, you laugh at her, “I love you too I guess’ you say with a smile on your face.

The three of you walk outside, Sarah explaining what happened, Kie adding to her story. The three of you leaned against the twinkie so the rest of the pogues could see you guys. And they did, all three of them coming out at the same time.

“I knew you would come in handy,” John B said, 

“Yeah yeah, get in the passenger. I’m driving” you respond.

John B nods and the rest of the pogues get in the back, talking over each other trying to tell you the story. Everyone except JJ was quiet. Too quiet. He would glance at you but nothing more.

You were about to walk into the driver’s side but saw Jayden and his friends walking out. “Stay here” you mumbled. 

Everyone but JJ was calling you back as you started to walk to Jayden. Once you were finally in his view he scoffed.

“You got your friends to gang up on us?” Alana asked.

“No, I didn’t. But from what heard, it was a fair fight. If anything you guys had the upper hand, there was more of you” you respond.

“It doesn’t matter, what does matter is the lawsuit they’re gonna be bombarded with,” Jayden said, warning you.

“That’s what I came here for. You won’t be pressing charges” 

“And why’s that?” Jayden asked, amused.

“Who do you think paid for your bond? I do something for you, you do something for me, and don’t press charges” You explain.

The rest of his friends stood quiet. “Your boyfriend broke my nose” Jayden argued with you.

“And you deserved it, if not more.” You got close in his personal space, “you aren’t going to press charges. None of you are. But if one day I find out you are. You’re gonna fucking wish you never saw me at the Wreck the first time” you say, walking from them and back to the twinkie.

You got in and started to drive to the chateau, the drive there is silent. Too silent. You don’t know how you’ll get your car back from the wreck but, you’ll get it eventually. When you arrive at the chateau and when John B opens the back door, JJ is the first to run out, saying he needs a shower.

 The rest of the pogues followed him inside, Pope sitting on the couch, Sarah and John B whispering things to each other, and Kie pacing back and forth. You were still here though, but your mind was just on him. Why did he fight Jayden? Why did he start it?

You needed to clear your mind, you knew the ten thousand dollars in your car would come in handy, but you didn’t expect to finish it in one go. Now you’ll just keep a small amount. “I’m going to the beach,” you say before leaving the chateau. 

The beach wasn’t far from John B’s house, so you just walked there. So when you did get there, you saw down and looked at the water.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

JJ got out of the shower and he needed to talk to you. But when he walked out he didn’t see you. At all. He only saw Pope, Kie was on the phone with her parents, and John B and Sarah were on the hammock. 

“Where’s Y/n?” JJ asked. 

“She said she was going to the beach. I’m guessing she isn’t lying ‘cause she didn’t take the twinkie” Pope said. 

You were at the beach. JJ thought for a moment he shouldn’t go there. He thought you needed your space, your peace. But that went out the window when he thought about it longer. He threw the towel into the room he stays in and walked to the beach. 

He got there quicker than you did because he was running. But he saw your silhouette, he breathed in and out and sat next to you. Looking at the water with you.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” you ask.

JJ just nods. The silence killing the both of you inside.

“JJ”

He hums.

“Why’d you break Jayden’s nose?” you ask, looking at him. JJ hung his head low after that sentence. There were so many things he wanted to say. But he couldn’t.

“Sarah said he was Jayden, and I thought about your bruise. And remember the words he told you. I just had a switch inside me. And once I hit him, I knew there was no going back.”

You sigh, “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me JJ. I can handle them by myself”

“I know that. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” He apologizes, finally looking you in the eyes. 

The two of you were quiet, just looking at each other. He never explained why he was so rough to you. He needs you to know why.

“Y/n”

You hum.

“The reason why I treated you like shit was that I liked you. A lot. Too much even” JJ confesses. Of course, it was for a stupid reason, you thought.

“I don’t want this to sound like, ‘when a boy is mean to you, it’s because they like it’ but-” He pauses. “You know my mom walked out on me pretty young. You know I’ve known Big John and John B for like, ever. So when Big John disappeared, I felt like he walked out on him.”

You don’t say a word, letting him have his moment.

“And I had these girlfriends that either cheated on me or randomly left. So I started to just, hook up with people. I was okay with them being meaningless. And then you came along and- you changed everything for me. You weren’t like the rest of the kooks. You were nice and sweet. You were smart and beautiful. You have a future. And you still have those things in you but. I didn’t. I don’t even think I still do.” 

A tear comes down his face and when you go to wipe it away, he stops you, nodding slowly. 

“I knew I liked you, John B knew, Pope knew, Kie knew. Maybe even Sarah knew. But I also knew that you were too good for me. That I didn’t deserve you. So when you first started being nice to me, I thought if I would push you away hard enough, you would realize how bad I am. It didn’t work in the first year. But then I saw this switch in you, and I knew it did from that moment.”

He breathes in and out.

“I know I pushed you too far. I’m truly sorry for what I did to you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for it. And I’m not excusing my behavior. I just wanted you to have the information before I go further with this”

He pauses for a moment, thinking of what he should say next. One thing about JJ is that he gets into his head too much, and this was one of those moments.

“Just say what you feel, J” you reassure him. JJ looks at you and nods.

“I really like you, Y/n. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You make me nervous and you make me want to just, keep you safe from the world when i know you can take care of yourself. You make me feel like I have a future in store. Maybe this is love, I don’t know. But if this is love, I don’t want to feel this way with anyone else but you” he confessed. 

You look at him, his eyes so soft.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I am willing to try this if you are too. I want to be around you all the time. I want to hug you and kiss you every time I see you. I to be able to call you to mind. I want to show you off to the world. I want you, Y/n.” 

The silence is back again, and it bothers JJ more than anything. He can’t read your mind. With the way you’re looking at him, this could mean you’ll give him a chance, or that you’ll reject him.

You nod at him, “I want you too, JJ.” you whisper.

JJ’s eyes changed, from being so fearful to being hopeful.

“You want me too?” he asks

You nod, a smile on your face. 

“You want me too?” JJ repeats, a wide and goody smile on his lips.

You laugh at him, “yeah” 

JJ laughs a bit and grabs your face and pulls you in for a kiss. For a hard, hungry, meaningful kiss. He smiles into it and you smile back.

When his lips leave yours, he starts to smother you with kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle and laugh loudly.

“I can’t wait to show everyone that you’re mine and mine only,” JJ says more to himself. You giggle at him, “hold your horses. I want a date first” you say

“A date?” 

You nod, “okay, where?” he asks, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. 

“Anywhere, you could take me to McDonald’s. I just want that me and you, where one doesn’t end up leaving the other. And we don’t argue”

JJ laughs and nods his head. “Deal”

You smile at him, he’s listening to you with no further statements or anything to come back with. You give him a peck on the lips and then lean your head on his shoulder. Watching the waves with him as he leans his head against yours. “I could get used to this” he whispers, kissing the top of your head before leaning again.

You smiled, not saying another word to him. This was the silence you loved, the comfortable silence. Now, this was something you could get used to.

again I'm sorry this is so late and so long :(

[justmeinadaze]

We're A Family Part 17 (Steddie X You)

A/N: Thank you for your patience with me. I'm still moving a bit slow but I've been living in my comfort fics while writing a new comfort fic so yeah <3

Warnings: Dads Steddie and Mama Fem Reader, SMUT, mostly near the end with a lot of passion between da boys. FLUFF , we have an adorable addition to the Munson-Harrington crew <3 as well as Ro's birthday. ANGST because I'm me, Steve does something stupid with the best intentions, Him and Eddie get into a fight, Eddie's dad makes a cameo, Eddie talks about first moving in with Wayne, Dylan talks about divorce (dont panic! Its fine. We're all fine. Im not that angsty.) and I think that's it.

Word Count: 5369

“Ok, ladies and gentlemen, what are the bets this time around?” The doctor grins as he looks at your little family. 

“We’re at 3 to 2 with girl being in the lead.”, Steve beams.

“I love it. Let’s take a look.”

It had been about four months since you found out you were pregnant again and this time around was rough. The first few months were spent throwing up pretty much everything you ate and your cravings had been stronger than they had been before. You found yourself getting grumpier and more irritable which the boys didn’t seem to mind, doing everything they could to make things easier. 

You got the house by the lake and everyone (especially Wayne) was excited for the move. Aurora’s birthday was coming up soon which, while still happy, always made you and Eddie nervous. That first year his mom showed up at your door and the two birthdays after she called his phone begging him to come speak at his father’s appeal. 

Steve finally told his mom that you were pregnant with his biological child and she was over the moon. He begged her not to tell his dad and so far she seemed to honor his request. 

“Alright, Munson-Harrington gang. Congratulations, it looks like we have a healthy baby boy!”

***

“Ok, we have to think of a name.”, Eddie mused as he took a bite from the burger on his plate. “What do you think, kid?” Dylan shrugs causing the metalhead to playfully role his eyes. “You’re no help. What about you, my angel?”

“Han.”, Aurora smiles as she chews on her fries.

“I wouldn’t hate that. Harrison Ford in those earlier movies was so sexy.”

Your son makes a face as both men laugh. “You don’t have any special memories with a name? Like I did with Ro?”

Eddie thought for a moment before a smirk crept across his lips. “James.”, he nods, shifting his gaze towards you two. “When my mother left me with Wayne, I was confused. I genuinely thought she would be coming back so I sat on his couch by the door and just waited. Every now and then he would ask if I was ok or if I needed something and I always told him no. Right before dinner that night, he sat at his little table in the trailer with this rickety, old acoustic guitar and started playing Dio’s Rock n’ Roll Children.”, he chuckles. 

Dylan leaned against his side and Eddie lifts his arm to wrap around his shoulders. 

“Now my uncle is a god-awful singer but man could he play. I was so fascinated by how his fingers moved that I got up to sit with him. He smiled, placing a sandwich in front of me and I ate as I watch him. From that moment on, I knew I wanted to play the guitar. It took me a few days to realize Lynn wasn’t back but Wayne was always there with a new song. Anyway…”, he sighs as his voice becomes lighter. “The lead singers name is Ronnie James.”

You and Steve smile at him as you caress his leg under the table with your foot. 

“I like James.”

“Me to.”, the other man agrees. “James Wayne Munson-Harrington.”

#########

 “Oh, Y/N, you guys don’t have to do that.”, Wayne bashfully grins. 

“We know but we’re going to because we want to.” Winking at him, you stick your fork into the cake on the counter. 

“Honey, we have plates.”

“Yes, baby, we do. It’s this thing UNDER the cake.” Steve playfully narrows his eyes in your direction. “Look everyone else said they were full and I’m eating cake for two!”

He holds up his hands defensively as Eddie rounds the corner with Ro who reaches for her grandpa, demanding he hold her. 

“Listen here you. No more birthdays. We’re stopping today at four, understand?”

“No, granpa! I…be…a big girl.”, she declares tossing her hands in the air. 

The phone rings and Steve chuckles as he reaches over to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hello. This is a collect call from Hawkins Penitentiary from inmate: Al Munson. Will you accept the call and charges?”

The man glances at Eddie who now has a big smile on his face as he tickles Aurora who in turn hides in Wayne’s neck hoping her father can’t reach her. After a few seconds, he hangs up.

“Who was it, baby?”, you ask.

“Wrong number.”

****

Steve’s foot bounces as he waits behind the glass, eyes constantly searching his surroundings. A guard on the other side, opens a door and brings over the prisoner placing him front of the awaiting man. He had never met Eddie’s dad but he had seen a few pictures. The inmate looking at him now was much older and worn by prison life. He did have a lot of his husband’s features especially in the face but his eyes weren’t as soft as Eddies. 

“You’re not my son.”

“No…no I’m not and neither is Eddie.” Allen squinted at his guest in confusion. “Look, I just came down here to tell you and Lynn to leave him alone. Every time we change our number, you guys always find it again and bother him on what is supposed to be a day about his daughter, not you. He spent so much time worried about you both and paying for the sins of everything you guys did to him. It’s time for him to be happy.”

“I see. And what are you going to do if I don’t, Mr. Harrington? Call the cops?”, he snickered. “I have done more than enough time to pay for my own sins. Edward could really help me out here and as my son he should want to.”

“What he wanted was a father and he found that in Wayne when your wife abandoned him. He gave up on you a long time ago.”

“Why are YOU here? Do you speak for him now since you fuck him?” Steve’s eyes narrowed in annoyance at the man’s comment. “Oh yeah. I know about you, him, and that girl…what’s her name. Honestly, I don’t give a shit about any of that. If my son wants to bend over and—”

“Don’t. Don’t fucking finish that sentence, Allen, or I swear God.”, he growled. “Listen, leave him alone and I can help you in here.”

“How can you help me?”

“I have some money set aside. I can give you some to make things a bit easier.”

Eddie’s dad’s jaw clenches as he weighs his options. “$500 a month and we have a deal.”

###########

A few months had passed and your little family had moved into your new home. Right on time to because about a month after James decided he was ready to join the Munson-Harrington clan. 

Aurora was completely fascinated by the new baby. 

“Dada, bra-der tiny.”

“He’s going to be tiny right now, honey. You have to be very careful with him.”

Her eyes widen as she gently pets the top of his head before leaning down to kiss his nose.

One night while he was crying, she watched as Eddie heated up a bottle and rocked him in his arms as he fed him. 

“Daddy, what’s wrong wit James?”

“He’s just hungry, princess. Babies eat EVERYTHING.” He widened his eyes making her laugh. “Do you want to help me?”

She nods, following him to the couch and takes a seat in his lap. Placing her little hand on the bottle, he allows her to hold it up as the baby continues to suck at its contents eagerly. 

Where Ro was a daddy’s girl, James was a mama’s boy. He loved being in your arms the most and the first time he smiled it was because you were kissing his chubby cheeks. 

Dylan, as always, was a wonderful big brother. He helped out where he could and even offered to babysit his siblings every now and then so you and the guys could spend some time alone. 

“Hey mom. I need some money for baseball. They said that we need $100 for boosters and some equipment.”

“Geez, isn’t that what boosters is for? To raise money for you people?” Dylan beams at you as he gives you a hug making you smile. “Steve? Little man needs $100 of baseball.”

“Jesus, why so much?”

You glanced in his direction taken a bit off guard. Usually when it came to the kids, if they needed anything financially, he didn’t think twice. Between the three of you, money wasn’t as tight but with the new baby and house things weren’t as easy as before so you let it go. Dylan answered his question and he dug in his wallet to give his son what he needed.

“Everything alright, babe?”

“Huh? Yeah, you know me. I just want to make sure we have everything, you know?”

Your head tilted to the side as your wife and mother senses started tingling again. He was hiding something but what could it be? If it was something involving a surprise for you or the kids his face and body language would normally radiate excitement. Something was wrong. 

“Hey, Dylan, do you mind keeping an eye on the other weirdos while I talk to Steve for a minute?”

He nods as you grab the man’s hand and tug him out towards the back porch. 

############

When Eddie got home from work, he found you sitting on the couch gnawing on your thumb as Steve paced in the living room. His eyes found yours as you motioned for him to come sit beside you. 

“Is everything ok? Where are the kids?”

“I asked my sister to watch them so the three of us could talk.” You softly smile as you kiss his cheek. “Steve has something he needs to tell you.”

“Okay? What’s going on, Stevie?”

The way Eddie looked up at him with concerned eyes made him feel so much worse at what he was about to tell him. 

“Um, so, remember how on Aurora’s birthday, you were ecstatic because your mom hadn’t called? Well, uh, your father actually called from prison that day. I answered and hung up on him.”

As the man spoke, you kept your eyes on the metalhead’s face as it slowly fell.

“I-I-I went down there to see him, Ed, and I warned him to leave you alone. He said he needed you and was tired of being in jail, that he and Lynn wouldn’t stop until you showed up at an appeal. So…” Steve’s panicked gaze shifted your way before he looked directly at the man he loved. “For the past few months, I’ve been paying Allen $500 to leave you alone.”

Eddie’s jaw tightened as he tilted his head subtly towards you. 

“Did you know about this?”, he whispered.

“No. I just found out everything today.”

He nodded as he rose to his feet, placing himself in front of Steve. 

“Eddie, I swear, I was trying to make things easier for you. I hated—”

The metalhead’s fist flew knocking the man backwards before climbing on top of him and swinging his arms. 

“Eddie, baby! Stop!” You tried to break them apart but he was too strong. Quickly, prepared for anything, you pushed a few buttons on your phone, sending a text to the one person you knew could get through to him. Three minutes later, Wayne flew in and pried his nephew off the man beneath him. 

“Hey! That is enough! I need you calm down, son.”

“How dare you fucking go behind my back like that, Steven! I told you both NOT to go down there!”

“I was trying to help!”

“By giving him money that can be used for our family, you fucking asshole! You think this is going to stop him?!” He tried to charge at the man again but his uncle held him back. “You have no idea what he’s like. I do!”

“Steve, maybe, you should go for a drive or something. Let him cool down.” He glanced your way and you softly nodded in agreement causing the man to hang his head as he quietly left the house. “Now you look at me, Ed.” Wayne grabbed the metalhead’s face forcing him to focus as he murmured low enough so only he could hear. 

“Eddie, I know you’re angry. I completely understand that but I need you breathe, ok? Your kids may not be here but Y/N is and she’s worried.” His chocolate eyes glanced at your concerned face as you hugged your arms around your body. “There you go. Can you sit on the couch calmly?”

He nods as he moves to take a seat. Without looking your way, his ringed fingers gesture for you to come closer and he pulls you onto his lap, hugging you to his chest. 

“I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“You didn’t. When he told me what he did, I was angry to. Not just because of what he did but because I knew it would hurt you. Eddie, you know how Steve is. He genuinely thought he was protecting you.”

“No. No, Y/N. This is serious. This isn’t like when you went to his mom for money so he could go to school. My father isn’t someone who can be trusted. So many things can go wrong that can get Steve in real trouble. I…”, he shakes his head as he feels his anger rise again. 

“Baby, I’m not excusing what he did but, maybe, if you explain to him more about your father and how this could backfire—”

“Which I could have done if he came to me first.”

“I know, honey. I know.”, you coo as you rub his chest. “Wayne, would you like to stay here? You’re more than welcome. Plus, I’m sure the kids would love to see you when they come back tomorrow.”

***

Eddie’s uncle did spend the night while Steve ended up sleeping a hotel. He texted you letting you know where he was and that he thought it was best to give his husband some space. 

The two youngest kids were excited to see their grandpa when they got home but Dylan sensed something was wrong especially when he walked in and noticed his dad wasn’t there. 

“Is it because I asked for money?”

“No, baby. No.”, you whispered as you kissed his forehead. “He’ll be home later.”

Your answer didn’t seem to sooth him as he sat next to Wayne and watched him try to make James smile. 

“Sir, you have the fattest little belly I have ever seen. I could just…”, he made munching noises in his stomach making the baby giggle as he scrunched his head into his shoulders. 

“Beep beep.”, Aurora parroted as the front door opened and Steve cautiously entered the home. “Dada!” She ran to his arms and he scooped her up giving her a big hug. “Dada, you have an ouch.” When she pointed to the light swelling where Eddie had hit him, he flinched slightly. 

“Yeah, dada is dumb.”

“No.”, she giggled before pointing at Wayne. “Granpa is here. He…he’s making…bra-der happy.”

Dylan’s eyes scanned Steve carefully as he sat across from him in one of the chairs. “You alright, dad?”

“I’m fine, dude. I just missed you guys.”, he smiles. 

You come around the corner and playfully swat at Ro’s curls before tickling her neck with your finger. “You. Scoot so I can say hi to dada.”

“Mama! Stop.”, she laughs as she slides down and sticks her tongue out at you. “You’re mean!”

You laugh along with her as you climb onto Steve’s lap and wrap your arms around his neck. 

“Are you okay?”

“No. I hurt someone I love. He should have hit me harder.”

“Baby…”, you sigh as you press your forehead to his cheek. “We’re going to talk again later after the kids go to bed especially since he’s had time to calm down and process everything.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys. I know I should have—” You fingers cut him off as you place them on his lips. 

“We have eyes on us. Later, ok?”

Steve’s own orbs scan the room finding Dylan watching you both as well as Aurora before she smiles and waves in your direction.

###########

One benefit of having three parents in the house is everyone can focus on one of the kids at any given time. After coming in to check on Ro and kiss her, Eddie stayed behind to tuck her in. As you passed Dylan on the couch downstairs, you poked your head into James’s room to find Steve with a sleeping infant in his arms.

“Alright, my love.”, you exhaled as you dramatically plopped your body down next to your son. “Time for you to go upstairs and get ready for bed.” Silently, he turns off the tv and begins to stand but you tug on the back of his shirt, bringing him down into your arms. “I know you and I know your big, beautiful brain. You’re a worrier like me. You didn’t do anything wrong, ok? You know we don’t mind giving you money for something you enjoy.”

“Everything got weird after I asked.”

“And that has nothing to do with you. Believe it or not, adults have issues sometimes that don’t involve their kids.” Dylan chuckled at your sarcasm as you kissed his cheek.

“I just don’t want to be the reason you guys get divorced or something.” 

As he began to stand, you quickly yank him back again. “Baby, they aren’t Charlie. Just because Steve wasn’t here this morning doesn’t mean that we’re going to break up. The three of us have been together too long and been through too much. And…”, you sigh hating the thoughts that fill your mind as you continue. “Playing the devil’s advocate here, if for some reason we ever did break up, I assure you no matter what, that reason would never be because of you guys or anything you did.”

Dylan smiles as he hugs you before getting to his feet and pulling you up with him. As Eddie comes down the stairs, he meets him half and tugs him into a hug.

“I love you, kid.”

“I love you to.” 

The moment he hears his footsteps bang up to his room, Steve appears and softly smiles in your direction. 

“Counseling degree at work again?”

“No, that would be my mom degree. I saw it on his face when you came home. Even though he knows you guys aren’t like Charlie, I think there’s still a part of him that feels like he could lose you at if one thing goes wrong.”

“I know the feeling.”, Eddie mumbles as he shuffles his feet. “Sometimes I was afraid Wayne would give up on me to. Obviously, that never happened.”

Your hand gently rubs his back and you gesture with your head for you three to head for the bedroom. 

***

The silence was deafening as you sat on the bed near the headboard as Eddie placed himself on the edge with his chin near his chest. Steve pulled one of the chairs from the living room so he could sit in front of you both, fidgeting with his fingers as he waited for someone to speak. 

“Did he ask you for money or did you offer?”, the metalhead asked. 

“I offered. He came up with the amount.”

“Steven, what do you know about prison? In general, I mean.”

“Uh…”

“Did you know that things are snuck in all the time? Drugs, weapons, food, etc.” Steve shook his head. “Did you know he can use your money to get shit like that or give to other inmates to do that? Did you know that people could find out where he’s getting so much money from and send people to harass you for the same treatment?”

When the man shook his head again, his eyes downcast towards the floor in shame. 

“Do you know how I know that? The first time my father went in Wayne tried to help him by sending him $100 a month. A couple months later he asked for more and my uncle told him no. The next day someone broke into his trailer and stole half his shit. We learned later Allen owed some people inside money and when they found out he would be getting out soon they wanted it all upfront. When Wayne told him no, my dad told them where he had been getting the cash from so they sent people to get the rest however they could. Thankfully, he was at work that night.”

“Eddie, I…”

“You’d think prison would reform him but it doesn’t. That’s why he’s there, Steve. He does the same shit in there that he did when he was out. He cons people or steals from them and every time he always loses.”, he sighs angerly. “And that’s just one of the many reasons I’m pissed. We just had a fucking baby, Steven! $500 barely covers half of what he needs, plus Aurora and Dylan’s essentials. That’s for the kids. The three of us need things to including this house!”

You scoot closer and wrap your arms around him as you lean against his shoulder. You had never seen him like this. When he had gotten angry with his mom at Ro’s first birthday that was one thing. Right now, this was fury out of fear for you five and something that could have been avoided if—

“But I think what pisses me off the most is you didn’t fucking talk to me. I have always been up front with you when it came to your parents and especially your dad. Your dad isn’t like mine Steve. He could get someone fucking killed and I’ll be damned if it’s someone in my family. I don’t just ignore him and Lynn for me. I do it to protect you guys. It’s a simple thing and you made it way more complicated.”

A tear escaped down Steve’s cheek that he quickly wiped away as he sat up straighter and cleared his throat.

“I’m, um…I’m sorry, Eddie. You’re right. I should have talked to you, both of you. No matter what my intentions were. I—”

“Don’t do that.”, you cut him off. “Don’t do that authoritative, businessman style voice and dialogue you do because you think it’s what people want to hear.” His eyes roll as his leans forward and his leg bounces. “Be honest, Steve. Be yourself.”

“When he called you were making Aurora laugh, Ed, while Wayne was holding her. Y/N, you were eating cake out of the pan with a fork because you were pregnant and you and Dylan were leaning against each other smiling…it was perfect. A perfect fucking day without Charlie causing problems or Lynn calling to trigger his pain. My dad wasn’t appearing out of nowhere to fuck shit up or you mom to remind you that you’re still the town whore!” Steve’s beautiful brown irises looked at anything but you two as he tried to control his emotions. 

“For this one moment, everything was exactly as it should be. Then your dad called, Eddie, reminding me something was always waiting…looming in the background to fuck everything up. So, yeah, I went down there to protect us; to protect you. Motherfucker is lucky there was glass between us.”, he growled. “With Lynn and Allen, I don’t know how you turned out so fucking amazing. I can understand why you would want them out of your life for good.” Steve shrugs as he leans back again. “Since I couldn’t hit him and I couldn’t convince him, I did the only other thing I could think of.”

“Well thank God you didn’t become a businessman like your dad wanted or he would have lost a ton of money.” Their eyes meet for the first time since they entered the room as they both let a breathy chuckle. “Steve, when will you realize that you don’t have to protect us and be the hero alone?”

The baby monitor starts to light up and you hastily get up before they can to check on James. 

“I’m sorry I hit you.”

Steve got up from his chair to sit beside Eddie and wrapped his arms around him like you had. 

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m so fucking sorry, babe.”

The metalhead sighs using his fingers to lift his chin and bring his lips to his. 

“Even though I’m mad at you, I still love you. I hope you know that.”

The boy nods as he kisses his lips again before trailing them down his cheek to his shoulder. 

##############

Allen glances at the three Munson-Harrington adults, sitting on the other side of the glass before really taking in his son in front of him.

Eddie knew he’d have to go down to the prison to fix what Steve had done but you were surprised when he asked you two to join him. On the drive there, he inhaled one cigarette after the other until you reached over and stole his pack so he wouldn’t overdo it. While you waited, his eyes darted around as he occasionally babbled to block out his internal panic. 

“It’s been a while since I’ve been here. The last time was when I was 10, I think. My mom brought me and I remember them arguing about him being stuck in here. She said she couldn’t handle me alone.”, he shakily laughed. “Actually, it was more ‘what am I supposed to do with him.’”

“Eddie…”  Turning his head, you kiss his lips as you caress his cheek with your thumb. “Everything is going to be ok. We’re right here with you.”

He nodded before gazing at Steve who was glaring into the void as Eddie reached to hold his hand before leaning to whisper in his ear. “Come back to me, sweetheart. I need you.”

“Well shit.”, Allen sarcastically smiled. “To what do I owe the pleasure? Your boyfriend and I already came up with an arrangement so you didn’t need to come down here.”

“Husband. Not boyfriend. Always glad to know you’re just happy to see me, Allen.”

“Allen? Really? You call Wayne daddy now?”

“More or less for the last about 18 years.” They glare at each other before Eddie snickers. “You’re not even going to pretend to be nice to win me over, are you? I have no idea why you or Lynn would ask me to lie for you if you can’t even say something civil like ‘Hey Ed. Nice to see you.’”

You intertwine your fingers with his as your heart breaks. This was probably just a taste of what little Edward Munson experienced and it killed you. 

“Look, we weren’t planning on staying for long. I just wanted to tell you the money Steve has been sending stops now and if you tell anyone that my family gave you that, I swear to God, I will make it my personal mission to make your life a living hell in here. You think things are bad now…”

You’d be lying if you didn’t say his dominance turned you on. There was nothing sexier to you than seeing them both be protective over you and the kids. Usually, it was Steve acting as protector and when he did it with Mr. Osbourne it drove you crazy. Hearing Eddie do it now was not only making you proud of him but excited to jump him later. 

“Fine but in return I want you to go the appeal for me.”

“No, that won’t be happening either and let me tell you why. If you keep calling me, sending letters, or any other bullshit like that, I will come to your appeal but it won’t be on your behalf. I’ll remind the judge that you’re a scam artist and a fucking car thief but I’ll also enlighten them on what a great father you were to me between the black eyes and verbal assaults.”

Eddie leans closer to the glass as his eyes burn into the man on the other side. 

“I am not a kid anymore. You two think you can still bully me but you’re wrong. You both need me way more than I need you.”

With that, he rises from the chair to leave before pausing and gesturing towards his father to wait with his index finger. Abruptly, he grabs Steve’s collar and tugs his lips to his for a passionate kiss. When he finally lets him go, the other man smirks, drunk off Eddie’s taste alone as the metalhead flips off his dad and turns to leave him behind. 

****

About a mile down the road from the prison, Eddie swerved his van into an empty area, hurling off his seatbelt and shoving Steve into the back where you had been sitting. You stayed out of the way, allowing the metalhead to take control. There was a sense of urgency in their kisses, both needing each other in that moment. Eddie needed to convey to him that he could take care of him to and Steve showing him that he could willing give up that urge to control for his husband to take be there for him.  

As they shoved down their pants, you slid your fingers down your own, rubbing your clit as you watched Eddie spit in his hand and stroke his cock before breaching Steve’s entrance. 

“Fuck, yes. I love you so much, baby. Let-Let me take care of you.”

All Steve could do was nod as he wrapped his arms around him and clung to him as Eddie pumped into him harder. His ring lined hand reached out into the air and it took you a moment to realize he was trying to find you. As you leaned into his touch he yanked the back of your neck, bringing your lips to his.

When he dipped his fingers into your jeans and between your legs, he couldn’t help but smile against your lips. 

“You’re so wet, princess. You like watching us together?”

Your own palm held the back of his from the outside of your pants as you rested your forehead on his. 

“I like watching you—mmm—take care of us. I love you, Eddie. I’m so proud of you.”

He heavily sighed as he thrust into you both faster. Hearing Steve loudly grunt, you two watch him as his face scrunches and he releases his spend near the bottom of his tummy. Eddie grins as you push against his hand, guiding his pace until he feels you shutter and cum on his fingers.  As you collapse next to Steve, he leans over the boy’s face as he chases his high. 

“You’re both so—f-fuck—fucking pretty when you cum.”

Watching with half lidded eyes, you softly smile as Steve reaches up to caress his face, listening as he whispers sweetly to him. 

“I love you to, honey. So fucking much. Cum, Eddie, please. We want to see it. I want to feel you fill me up. You…you deserve to…fuck…” He struggled to get the last few words out as the metalhead pumped into him so hard you imagined the van was shaking from the outside. They both grunted at the feeling as the boy came inside of him and like you collapsed on his other side.

The three of you panted as you starred at the ceiling. 

“I am sorry I put you in this position, Munson.”

“I mean… I put you in this position but you know me…I’m open to any and all positions as long as it feels good for everyone.”

They smile when you giggle as Steve shakes his head playfully. “You’re so stupid.”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing. I forgive you, Harrington.” He leans up on his elbow to kiss him before dramatically leaning across him to do the same with you. “Alright, you two recharge and I’ll drive us home.”

@dad-steddie @manda-panda-monium @alligator-person

#############

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@moviefreak1205 @waylandmorgernsternherondal-blog

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[pathetichimbos]

can you write about how thomas would react when reader is on their period? like how would he take care of them and everything

pampering them with gifts or pushing the family away especially hoyt because he doesnt want them near in fears youll break yk?? anyways, ty! i love ur writing

(male or female reader im not picky!)

Honestly... I don't think it would happen that way.

See, the thing is, the Hewitt family is extremely self sufficient, which means that everyone has to pull their own weight to keep the farm running smoothly. That includes when you're on your period. They've got that "if you can walk you can work" mentality. And they really mean it. Unless your cramps or pms are literally debilitating (i.e. you are literally bed ridden and cannot walk due to the pain), you're going to be expected to work. Cramping and bleeding or not, the hogs still need to be fed and the eggs need to be collected. None of that's going to change, and Luda Mae, Hoyt, and even Monty aren't going to excuse you lacking off just because you're on your period. (Again, unless it's literally debilitating).

And as for Thomas, I've said it before, I'll say it again, Thomas will not stand up to his family for anyone. He's not going to pick fights with them, or argue with them, or anything really. He's not a confrontational person. And, again, this is a small southern town in the 1970s, Thomas doesn't even know what the hell a period is. Luda Mae is very obviously a proud woman, and even to this day, a lot of older women won't talk about their periods because they see it as a private and shameful matter, so I doubt Thomas has any idea of what a period is, except for maybe having heard of it in passing.

So, when you tell him you're on your period, he's not going to understand what that really means. And after you explain it to him, he'll be sympathetic, sure, but... If most women have a period and continue to function in their normal everyday lives, why can't you? (Again: unless it's LITERALLY debilitating)

He'll be happy to help in whatever way he can, whether that be through getting you medicine in the mornings, or being your personal heating pad at night, but I don't think he'd really pamper you. After all, he still has his chores and work to do, which take up a large part of his day (depending how recently the last batch of victims came through, but even then, he has regular chores as well), and if you are bed ridden due to your period, he'll have to pick up your chores as well.

He's not mean, or mad about it, he loves and cares about you, and he's happy to do things for you when you need them, but he can't throw his responsibilities away just because you're on your period. I mean, think about it, periods last for one week out of every month, that is a HUGE amount of work lost now not only on your end, but his as well. That wouldn't fly over with any of the Hewitts. Especially Hoyt.

And on the topic of Hoyt, I mentioned this in my post about what it would actually be like to start dating Thomas, but Hoyt is like a father figure to Thomas. Thomas looks up to him, and respects him, and actively seeks his approval, he isn't going to force Hoyt to avoid you in his own house. If you're really that afraid of Hoyt hurting your feelings while you're on your period, you're going to have to avoid him on your own terms. But Hoyt isn't going to become more of an asshole just because you're on your period. Maybe a few misogynistic jokes or comments, sure, but Hoyt is always like that. That's just something you're going to have to live with to be with Thomas, because I don't think Thomas would ever move out his family home. Not unless something dramatic happened like I wrote about in one post a long, long time ago, where in the drabble Hoyt had left the stove on while watching Thomas' baby, which led to them being severely burned and scarred to the point that Thomas' s/o told him they were leaving and taking the children and he went with them because, again, Hoyt literally almost killed his baby and gave them severe and traumatic scarring. But even then, I don't think he'd move much farther than down the road. And that's only because of his child's safety and well being.

(And just a quick side note while I think about it: Thomas is also like a son to Hoyt, and I don't genuinely believe he'd ever attempt to put his hands on Thomas' s/o for the pure fact that he respects Thomas and wants to see him happy just like Luda Mae does. Do I think he'd make the occasional flirtatious or sexual remark? Yes. But it's a different culture and time, those things are considered a lot more normal than they are now, but Hoyt wouldn't attempt to touch Thomas' s/o.)

So, yea, I think that just about sums up what it would be like. Life would continue on as normal unless you were bed ridden, in which Thomas would pick up the chores you could no longer do.

Thanks for sending in the ask! <3

[ghostiiess]

[NSB HEADCANONS] - christmas with them!

synopsis: it's christmas and you spend the holidays with them!

warning: some swear here and there, darren being dirty-minded and pervert, mention of the word ass… i think that’s all? let me know if there’s more!

type: fluff

members: all of them

merry (late) christmas everyone! i hope you all day wonderful holidays 🤍 thank you very much for this wonderful year that we had together! i can’t believe it’s actually been one year that i started writing about the boys! 😊 thank you for all the support, the likes and the love!! it is so much appreciated <33 happy new year in advance and may 2024 be the best year for you :)

reblogs and likes are very appreciated!

OLIVER MOY

BEST HOLIDAY ON EARTH??

we know oli, we know how he is, we know how boyfriend material he is…

so is it really a surprise if i’m telling you that you would pass an amazing time with him during christmas? not really.

he would spoil you so much!

« what? can’t i treat my girl right? »

he would make sure that you know that you look extraordinary beautiful

he would hype you up so much

« oh my god… you’re so beautiful, omg » he said while covering his mouth with his left hand

he would giggle.

he would also have bought matching pyjamas

« so i got the santa one and you got the reindeer! isn’t it so cute? »

cutest boy alive, no cap (yes im a simp)

he would write the cutest things in your christmas card

“thank you for making the world a kinder place”

“thank you for existing and making me a part of your routine”

“thank you for always being you and always making the world a greater place”

“you’re making fall in love with you more and more everyday”

crying bc he’s so damn sweet 🤧 i love him sm omg

random thoughts: oliver would sing you christmas song

and maybe… he would even ask you to sing with him? lol

oliver would literally heal your inner children, with his family 🥹 in one nsb video (or was it in seb’s? i forgot, sorry) all the nsb boys came to see oli’ and seb’s mom and dad, and omg that was so cute

he’s a gentleman, he’s a golden retriever, he’s a boyfriend material, so of course he would make sure you’re always feeling okay and comfortable around him

« this is our christmas baby. we spend it together, so as much as i really love my family and spending my holidays with them, i want you to be comfortable and happy during this time. so if something isn’t right or you want to take a break, please let me know, alright? »

i just see oliver caressing your back and whispering sweets nothing to you :((

anyways, let this boy give you the best because you truly deserve it <33

(others members’ part under the cut!)

SEBASTIAN MOY

FUNNY HOLIDAYS!!

this man’s so funny

sebastian could do anything and it would be funny, i truly don’t know why

so obvs, he would try to pull little pranks on you (not as much as kane, but still)

« babe, look! there’s a mistletoe! looks likes you have to kiss me! »

« babe, you’re supposed to kiss me on the lips not on my cheek! »

“wdym it wasn’t specific enough!! i thought you’d knew what i wanted!”

he would def convince his younger brother (mateo!!!) to pull a prank on you and oli

sebastian would be the type to give you a big, big Christmas gift that is in a box, that box is in another box, and that box is in another box… just to make you wait for the gift

and the gift be like « free pass for a kiss! »

“isn’t this the best gift ever?”

what can i say? he loves your kisses (and your hugs)

did you see his stories?? if not, expect him to put (almost) EVERYTHING on his ig/sc stories

he would def watch them all over the holidays too 🫣 don’t tell him i told you that

seb would give you sweet treats, like chocolates, massage, bubble bath if you’re into that kind of thing… things he know that will make you smile and make you feel good

“i could give you another thing to make you feel good…” then he would smirk

“I WASN’T TALKING ABOUT THAT, OMG?!! You are so dirty minded, omg”

anyways like oli, he would be very considerate of your feelings

« you okay, babe? »

« is everything’s alright, baby? »

he cares sm about you

i feel like he would randomly hug/kiss you out of nowhere and smile

« nothing’s wrong, you’re just really pretty »

“mine”

RYAN NGUYEN

would def heal your inner child, 100%

the holiday with him would be so funny (and prob iconic too)

ryan’s family sounds so lovely and so cozy… (you wouldn’t be boring at their house)

last year, ryan did a q&a with his sisters and it was super cozy and super relaxing to watch

so i think it would be the same if you spent the holidays with him

lots and lots of animes nights

you’d also be a pro at videogames too

ryan would have matching pyjamas sets for you

« i thought we could wear it during the holidays.. »

he would def hold your hand all along the festivities, like this man’s whipped for you

« what? can’t i hold my pretty girlfriend’s hands? »

his fam would love you sm

ryan would def be a bit jealous that you’re passing more time with grace & ava (his sisters) than him

“can’t you talk with them later? -_-”

“i’m not jealous, what are you talking about?”

would ask his mom to cook your favourites meal :D

« yeah, i asked my mom to cook your favourite! »

ryan who def make videos with you and spend a lot of time with you, including cuddling because even though it doesn’t look like that, ryan’s a simp for your cuddles and your hugs and your kisses

would def put a lot of mistletoe around the house and use the excuse « it’s just for decorating the house »

indeed, he only want to kiss you 24/7

yes, he likes it that much 😌

JUSTIN PHAN

spending holidays with him seem so fun

trust me, you guys would have matching outfits too lololol

he would literally go to target to shop some matching things with you

and also buy you random things that you probably don’t needed, but that he bought because he thought of you when he saw them

also, i’m just seeing him going to target with you to shop for last minute christmas present

ofc, he would pay for your things

because he’s that gentleman with you

and also bc he never want to see you pay when you’re with him

“it’s the holidays, can’t i spoil my girl?”

“shut up, let me pay for you”

“you’ll pay next time!”

“wdym i said the same thing the last time? i didn’t!”

he would make sure you’re always comfortable, always happy and always smiling

he would hold your hands during dinner if you’re stressed/anxious/nervous

justin seems the type to be super romantic

he would literally give you a christmas card and thank you for every things you did for him

a bit like oli!

“thank you for always making me happy. the world needs more people like you”

he would literally give you cute stuff

like hello kitty stuff bc we all know how jp like hello kitty 🫶🏻

believe it or not, justin’s the biggest simp for his person

so expect a lot of compliments coming towards him

the type to say: “my mom likes you more than me, i’m sure of it”

KANE RATAN

i can’t tell how much i like this man

yes im a simp, and what abt it? 🤭

would def help your inner child too

he would always try his best to always make you smile/make you happy when you’re with him

he would always support you in anything you do

he would also give you a shoulder to cry on if that’s something you need

“babe… don’t cry…”

“it’s okay, i’m here..”

“idm if my tshirt get wet… i have others tshirts, don’t worry about that baby”

“I’m so so sorry about what happened when you were younger… do you want to talk about it?”

to me, kane’s the definition of the word “fluff” and “comfort”

he would literally make your days brighter with his smile 🤭

no bc his smile is so cute

he would give you ALOT of gifts

his family is kinda a bit rich lol (check their hide n seek video and the price of the mansion… 🤩) so… yeah.

would be the type to buy you plane tickets for a special destination

“wdym?? baby, it’s plane ticket! we’re going to travel together!”

“i know you always wanted to go there, so… i thought it could be the perfect moment to go there together!”

sweetest holidays with him :(

“what do you mean i bought you too much gifts? baby, you deserve it”

he would def make activities with you and his siblings and let you win on purpose

“me? made you win? there’s no way i did that!”

kane would make you do pranks with him on his brothers / sisters

but junior (his younger brother) wouldn’t let that slide so you’d literally do pranks on kane hahaha

“baby, what?? i thought you were on my team!”

“god, and i thought you’d side with me for this prank”

spending holidays with kane seems so great and fun 🫶🏻

DARREN LIANG

the sussiest holiday ever, ngl

i never saw in one nsb videos darren not being dirty minded, sorry not sorry 😭

so i rlly hope you’re not innocent, bc if you are… well, let’s say he won’t let that title up

bc this man says the most random ever things ever and turn them into dirty things, so if you’re still innocent after spending like 2-3 weeks with him… this is impressive

darren could turn everything not suspicious to something very suspicious (but we like him like that 🫶🏻)

would definitely not hide his true ‘personality’ to his family…

atp, i think his fam is aware that their son is dirty-minded

mostly during the Christmas presents part…

“didn’t give you much gift, bc i thought i could be your gift for this year”

“what? didn’t meant in that way… unless..”

“oh yeah!! this present is so cool!! i heard it could hide hickeys pretty well! isn’t that so cool?”

ofc, darren isn’t only naughty and pervert 😂

He’s also very caring and sweet :((

So ofc, if he see you being uncomfortable due to this comment or his moves or anything he’s doing, he would stop

No need to ask him twice

We all know how good dar’ is with cooking, so ofc he would cook something for you and his fam for Christmas

might even do it with you

He would have bought you matching aprons! and you know him…. the images or texts on it would be anything but wholesome

Being with Darren during the holidays also mean he would take good care of you

He would buy you a ton of skincare if that’s something you like

He would also help you with your routine (would never let you sleep with makeup/unclean face)

“Baby, let me take your makeup off”

“let me wash your face”

“Just sit on the counter and let me do the rest, okay?”

“Stop moving!!!”

“Wdym it tickles, baby it’s my fingers…”

“Are you saying my fingers are tickling you? 😏”

Funniest (and sussiest) holidays, I’m telling you

REGIE MACALINO

Darren part 2? Jk

This man’s a keeper 🫶🏻

He would make everything so funny, so fun, so cool, like it’s the regie macalino we’re talking about

I think regie would be the same guy he is in the videos, with you

he’s very nonchalant

He would def sleep on your shoulder while his family is opening xmas gifts

“Wdym wake up?? I wasn’t sleeping bruh”

“I was resting my eyes, that’s not the same thing”

He would also try his hardest to make you blush ☺️

And if you can’t blush, he would try his hardest to make you smile

i’m just imagining him, on the other side of the couch, giving winks here and there

AND HE WOUD BE HAPPY TO SEE YOU TRYING NOT TO SMILE/BLUSH

“I ain’t doing anything, whatcha talking about?”

He would def (10000%) says dirty things in front of you and act like he didn’t mean it in that way

“Damn that’s a cool sweater… wonder how it could look on the floor…”

“Why you’re looking at me like that, stop being dirty minded y/n”

Regie would def laugh his ass off because of what he’s doing to you

i just know he would be so proud of himself

btw, during the holidays, expect to go in the snow

Regie’s so cute when he first saw the snow 😔 like give him the chance to see snow again, pls?

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go see the nsb’s video where they go play in the snow lol

He would do snow angels with you 🥹 and call you his angel

“You just did yourself in the snow…”

“eww that so cringey of me, I’m sorry”

“wdym you liked it? damn, you’re a simp for me, bruh”

taglist (open): @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0 @yawnzzznnn @ghostyycat7

[thesupreme316]

I'm not sure if you are doing request<3 but I was wondering if you can do aew stars reacting to you bring pregnant and then they tell everyone on social media 🥺❤️

AEW Stars React to: You Being Pregnant

Pairings: Darius Martin X Fem!Reader, Hook X Fem!Reader, Ricky Starks X Fem!Reader, Eddie Kingston X Fem!Reader, Daniel Garcia X Fem!Reader, MJF X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 778

Supreme Speaks: thanks to anon for requesting! MY INBOX AND REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN. i hope i did this idea justice. please remember that you are loved and appreciated.

Warnings: not proofread sorry, self promoting takes place,

Taglist: @hooks-martin @wwenhlimagines @hookerforhook @triscillal @eddie-kingstons-wifey @sheinthatfandom

Darius Martin (somewhat shorten version of this...self plug)

Almost fainted when you first told him

Ran around the hotel telling everyone and their momma about it

“IM GONNA BE A DAD”

This man is the cutest being ever

Made t shirts for him and the lads about being a dad and uncles

Already bought a lot of baby stuff to prepare for future

Will make a long post about you and yall’s relationship

Will talk about how great of a mother you will be

“Thank you for blessing me with a child and I know you will be the best mother in the world.”

Hook

Was in shock at first cause he was nervous about being a dad

Immediately went to his father for advice

Who just told him their is no way to prepare and to take it one day at a time

Is still very nervous about being a parent

“Yeah, I’m scared. But as long as I have you and our child, I’ll be alright.”

Made a very simple post on instagram with a black heart and your expected due date

I CAN SEE HIM DOING IT WITH A BABY HOODIE THAT SAYS HOOK ON IT

Will post update pics every trimester and with your permission first

Eddie Kingston

Now, this man will have a very emotional rollercoaster (but the man is overall thrilled of the news)

Ranging from happy to scared back to happy to nervous to stressed

I feel like Eddie would be worried about not raising your child properly/to the best of his capability

After reassuring him, Eddie would finally put his fears to rest (for now)

Will leave work early for you screaming; “MOVE! MY WIFE/FIANCE/SOULMATE/THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD NEEDS ME!” (He would say that in that order…fight me)

Will buy books about parenting

In terms of posting, he will post a picture dump of your ultrasounds and boxes of nursery

Will curse out anyone if they something negative about you, ya’lls child or about pregnancy in general

Ricky Starks (Honestly a short version of this post….lol self-promotion)

Like I said in the past MAN IS EXTRA AS HELL

Will cry when you tell him that is gonna be a dad

Like Darius, he already bought a lot of baby stuff

Already set up a gender neutral nursery

Will produce a big blown out baby shower and gender reveal

Im talking waterfalls, two people wrestling to reveal the gender, no gifts are gonna be under 50 dollars, everythang

For the reveal on social media, he will post pictures of the baby shower with a nice caption

“To my future child; I love you and you got the best and most good looking parents in the world. To my future wife; I love you and I cannot wait to grow with you in this next stage. Sincerely, Stroke Daddy.”

Daniel Garcia

THIS MF IS A SWEET MENACE

Will joke around about creating a baby with you

“So was it the time I turned you-“ “Shut up you miscreant”

Will become very soft around children and seeing new parents with their kids

He’s thinking about how you guys will act with your kid(s)

Doesn’t go out anymore, rather stays inside with you

Already planned family trips and moments

Will announce it by posting your maternity pictures

“I love you and I cannot wait for my mini-me to come in the world.”

MJF

Y’all know Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively’s PDA? Yes. That is all.

Will make jokes about you, cross your face out of pictures, talking about how HIS child is coming to the world

It’s okay cause you do the same

But behind doors, he is so hyped about having a child with you

Will request best care and materials for you during your pregnancy and when the child is born

Will ask some of his friends about how to help you during this time

His instagram post will feature a picture of you two (with him having a big ass smile and your face cropped out) with a caption

“My future child is better than you (and your below average child) and you know it.”

Will post the full picture of you guys and say “She said I had to upload the full picture or she’ll choke me with the baby’s umbilical cord.”

Max Caster is def crying and asking to be Daddy #2

[sigmoon]

hioooo im back cus i cant get enough of u & ur headcanons !!!! but this time im thinking….nikolai introducing his s/o to his mama (つ﹏<⸝⸝‬ )

Hehe, I’m glad you’re insatiable, my love, because I have a lot more in store >:)

When Nikolai is in love, he falls hard, so it’s only natural he wants you to meet his mama! I think she’s already very kind and affectionate to her Kolya‘s friends (she’s unofficially adopted Fedya, always pampering him when Nikolai brings him over), but oh, she adores his s/o! You’re practically part of the family the second you enter her house.

Like her son, she’s very cuddly and touchy, immediately hugging you really tightly while chirping about how pretty you are, how much Nikolai has already told her about you and that she’s been looking forward to meeting you for so long. Nikolai’s mama probably cooked a while five-course-meal (including her special piroshkis), and encourages you to eat more, even if you’re full already. The moment you put down your fork, she’s putting more food on your plate with a wide smile. Be prepared to get flattered to no ends, because not only is his mother extremely friendly, but Nikolai himself will praise you the whole time.

Once you’re done eating, his mama will show you old photo albums with pictures of baby Kolya, some of them adorable, others embarrassing, with him in the bathtub, and a lot of them with Kolya and the signature permanent marker smears on his face. She tells you endless stories about Nikolai’s childhood, about how he used to run all around the house buck naked after each time he was bathed, not wanting to put clothes on, or how he loved to feed the ducks in the park.

Nikolai may or may not tell the „peach story“ because he has no shame even around his mother, and she scolds him for being so vulgar, especially around a guest. Nikolai’s dad is a no-no topic, so you should avoid talking about him. Maybe you’ll play cards or a board game after, and Kolya will not miss the chance to show off by doing some magic tricks, making one of your cards disappear and pulling it out of his sleeve, or cheating, earning himself a loving pinch of his cheek by his mom, who tells him that he should play fair and stick to the rules.

Depending on how long you and Nikolai have been together, his mom will ask you if you’re planning to have children, and if you do, she’s literally gonna burst from happiness.

When you and Nikolai leave again, she’s saying goodbye at the door with another warm hug and gives you a bunch of Tupperware filled with leftovers.

[hazbinhotelexpansion]

Oh I was BORN to answer your request, prepare for all of my random discord quotes

Are you climbing the inside of the elevator??? ..........maybe

"I want them Zoloft boys"

"ok I think the phone has been in the microwave long enough"

She could run a kingdom, people would listen to her, she's very loud!

I'll sop your wet! ... I'll wet your sop? No, neither of those sound right, joke canceled, goodbye

You know me I love dead people

You want me to go straight to bed? Why not gay to bed???

"this tastes like battery acid, but if battery acid was tasty"

Gusty showers sounds like a terrible name for a retirement community

What happens if you have nipple pasties that just look like nipples? "Then you need nipple pasties for your nipple pasties" Nipple-pasty-ception "Get a bra that looks like boobs and put nipple pasties on that"

Yeah I'm like canonically allergic to chihuahuas in specific

"Jesus told a tree to off itself and then he threw a table"

"am I a Honda or a person?"

"NOW GIVE ME YOUR FACE AND DONT ASK QUESTIONS"

Gasp! Someone cheesed him!

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE MY LITTLE BOY INTO LEMONADE

"using my telekinesis to lift my daughter out of her crib just in time for her father to see her levitating randomly"

"why are we talking about bacon now I thought we were talking about your daddy issues"

I do not have a gender, I have a question

oh pants stopped happening like 30 minutes ago

just calling me Charizard is unhelpful team

I AM THE PICASSO OF MEMES

Ope there goes angel climbing into the China closet again

EVIL JELLO MY NEW GENDER

"I have a *weird* problem, are you ready to hear about my *weird* problem" "always" "my brownies are too oily"

"Before I can own a pigeon, I need to get my bird permit" Your..... Birdmit

It doesn't have to be a bunch of sad white women drinking wine sitting in a rented conference room with a bunch of tables all done up in tablecloths with droopy streamers and half floating balloons

he can be a soft boi *and* a crackhead!!!

"they're Jean shoes" YOU GOT THE FUCKIN JHOES???

Please refrain from happy biting the cannibal

WOOHOO KEVIN GOT BOOPS

Two pigeons, chilling on the sidewalk, five feet apart cause they're not gay

"you're watching a weiner schnitzel be made? Isn't that a dog?"

"she wouldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo"

About husk: probably grumpy enough to overpower catnip by the sheer force of cynicism

About niffty being drunk: she's a spastic caffeinated squirrel in traffic that's just taken a nice long inhale of, uh, snow

no actually I think you're right! I like my impulsive, self destructive behaviors

don't turn yourself into one of those cooked children in the backseat you're always hearing about, Pls don't cook yourself over your trauma

YEAH WE HAVE CHILD LABOR ON THIS BUS!

Mickey mouse voice: you can't spell drunk driving without U and I!

He has the mcdonald's headset of infinite wisdom

*angrily* IM GONNA TURN YOU INTO TREE FOOD

Sudden vox in my head: and now introducing, this.... Fuckin thing..... *gestures to cursed cat alastor on a small runway behind him*

HOPE THESE HELP YOU GUYS IM LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING THE NEW CONTENT!

Friend, I am

CRYING

[grievedeeply]

Maybe some headcanons or one shot for Heimdall falling for a mortal reader??? Living outside the walls of Asgard and him coming to visit them with that “ fake ass I hate mortals attitude “.

this is so cute!! thanks for the request!! hope you enjoy :) gonna pretend heimdall survives ragnarök for this because it makes more sense. also this is long and im so sorry LOL

gn!reader | tws: kinda angsty at points but mostly fluff | join my taglist!!

heimdall with a mortal s/o headcanons

he is probably the most stubborn man in all the nine realms. his opinions and thoughts are set in stone, and his conception of mortals is that they're weak— and essentially useless

when his father decides to take mortals from midgard and keep them outside of the walls of asgard, he thinks he's a fool. he says he's "saving them from fimbulwinter". they're just mortals. why should gods care?

from his patrol on top of the wall, he sees the mortals below him often. he hears them— laughing, talking and rejoicing for their safety

the allfather decides to send him into their town as a way to check in on them. he hates the idea, but he can't really say no to him. it's there where he finally meets you

he doesn't spare another glance at you, but you stand out to him. you're helping the other mortals around you. making them meals, sewing their clothes— and he can't help but to wonder why

he doesn't talk to you first. you tell him, "thank you" and he says nothing in response for a few moments. he'll only reply "it wasn't up to me" and leave

soon, his visits become regular, much to his dismay. he would assume that the allfather would send someone else instead of him— perhaps one of the valkyries— but he was wrong

he runs into you a few separate times, and it takes a long time for him to even begin talking to you. your relationship is the definition of a slow burn

after all, he thinks mortals are essentially worthless in the long run. why would he talk to you when he's a god?

though.. he sees your kindness and he wonders why you do everything you do for your peers. he asks you one day, and you smile up at him

you explain to him that helping others helps you. it makes you feel useful, and seeing how your actions can benefit others makes you happy

after this conversation, he finds himself talking to you more and more. of course, he insists on keeping his opinions on mortals the same, but you were.. different, almost

you treat him differently. of course, still with kindness and respect.. but you treat him like a person. he was more than a god in your eyes. he was a real person with thoughts and emotions behind his tough exterior

you quickly found yourself wanting to tear his walls down, and remedy his thoughts on mortals somehow. you tell him you want to change his opinions, and he tells you he's stubborn. you only say, "i know" with a cheeky grin

you're like sunshine. always bright and positive. he doesn't understand how. your home on midgard was buried under mountains of snow.. how could you be happy?

you would tell him that everyone you cared about was with you. that was all that mattered in your eyes

what was it about you that had him so entranced? he wanted to learn more. he had to. he was.. captivated by you and your attitude. you looked up, even when everybody else looked down

you begin to think of him as a friend after a few months go by, and he visits at least once a week. he spends more time around you than anyone else, by that point

thor catches on, and says he's going soft. heimdall denies his words, but he thinks about them. they sit in the back of his mind. was he?

he thought of you. your smile, your gentle hands weaving through fabrics and children's hair as you braided the strands. he thought of your eyes, how bright they would shine in the light

maybe he was. it made him weak. he hated it

he couldn't help it, he told himself. he felt the pounding of his heart against his chest whenever your face came into his mind. he felt his breath hitch in his throat when your eyes met his. he felt you. it scared him

he disappears for awhile, and a valkyrie takes over his responsibility of looking after the midgardians. you miss him. you wouldn't deny that

you missed his company. you missed how he teased you. you missed how his eyes would watch you, intently and inquisitively. as much as he said his mind wouldn't change, you thought different

you watched as he opened up. his body became less tense in your presence. his hair became messier. his shoulders would slump, and his muscles relaxed. his body language told you everything you need to know

but you were.. angry. you were angry at him for leaving without saying a word. you would understand. you would understand if he had more important duties— but he said nothing. he just.. left

he returns after a few weeks. the truth behind his absence was he was looking to get away from you. the beating of his heart scared him, and he thought that being away from you would fix it. it didn't

he thought of you so frequently that he began getting distracted doing other things. though, being as stubborn as he was, he refused to see you again

when he shows his face to you again, you have mixed feelings. a part of you is happy. you want to give him a hug, tell him you missed him. the other is furious. you want to slap him— tell him you never want to see him again

instead, you say nothing at all. you turn on your heel and retreat back into your home, leaving a defeated heimdall on your doorstep in the rain

it takes a few days for you to find the words to say to him. when you do, your voice is quiet. you tell him everything you wanted to say before. that you were mad, upset at him for leaving

he asks why you cared. your brows furrow in anger, and you snap, "because i actually like you!"

he tensed. what were you talking about?

you fall silent, and purse your lips. you cursed yourself out in your mind, hoping that he wouldn't say anything else. he doesn't. at least, not for a couple of minutes. you rendered a god speechless

"what did you say?" he finally speaks up, and you sigh. "i like you." you shrug your shoulders, avoiding his gaze. suddenly, everything around you was more interesting than he was

his voice was so gentle.. the softest you'd ever heard it. the truth was, you had found him cute since the moment you saw him. he was a god. you had no chance— but that didn't stop you from developing feelings

that was okay, though. you'd keep them a secret, and all would be fine

heimdall only stares at you. you notice his flushed cheeks, and the longer he stays silent the more anxious you feel about his response

"me too."

"what?" you raise an eyebrow, finally turning your head to face him. "what are you talking about?"

"i like you, too." he whispers, and you freeze in place.

a god.. liking you? a god like him? the man had been so difficult when you met. he never took no for an answer. he looked down upon you and your people and yet.. here he was— practically a mess in front of you as he confessed

you laugh after a moment, and take one of his hands in yours. it's the first time you've ever touched him. his hands are rough compared to your own, but it wasn't a surprise

you ask him to be your boyfriend then, and he only nods his head. he's embarrassed. you can tell

your relationship is an interesting one. he learns more about mortals through you, and he finds himself changing his opinions on them

he changed his mind because of you, and only you. you've taught him that mortals can be strong, intelligent and capable. though.. when he thinks of mortals, he only thinks of you

since he started dating you, he worries more about losing you. he's a god. he's immortal. you aren't. the thought of you dying is more than he thinks he can handle— but he promises himself to be by your side when that time does come

you reassure him that you're still young. you have plenty of time to spend with him, and he can only take your word for it. anything could happen, though

he takes safety precautions with you. he always keeps his eye on you to make sure you're staying safe in your surroundings. he worries, as much as he hates to admit it

he feels the safest when he's in your arms. he doesn't know why, but it's the truth

he's surprised that a mortal is the one to understand him the most. you can read him like a book. you know when he's upset, angry, anything

you know why he acts the way he does. he doesn't understand how.. but you comfort him well. better than anyone else ever has

if he's honest, you're the person he thinks cares about him the most

if anything were to happen to him, you would burn the nine realms down in search of vengeance, and he knows it. no one else would do that for him

you're wise beyond your years, and he thinks it's surprisingly cute. your intelligence is one of your best qualities

you make him flustered incredibly easily. he tries not to let your sweet words get to him, but when you whisper in his ear or when you hold onto his hips.. it makes him embarrassed

he feels so small with you. safe. protected from everything that could ever harm him. he knows he's supposed to be keeping you safe, but you never seem to mind

he thinks of himself from before he met you. you helped him. he won't admit it, but you can tell he's happier. he has a open mind, and an open heart. he's willing

he understands why he fell for you. your kindness. the warmth that surrounds you. the love you showed to him, even from the day you met

the first words you ever said to him were thank you. words he didn't deserve

he fell for you. you're more than a mortal in his eyes— you're everything.

tags: @graciegizmo3184 @anzanishira @uncoveredsun @caelestis-lyrae @prio-motu @bluehorizon987 @freyrees @rohansregret @multifand0m-gal0re @huan-chan @onlydeas @orangeflavouredwitch @hayleethefrog @dott-up @imcomingforyourskin @itsnat-bitch @mimothemoth @elizabeth-hatake @fandomcatchall @ss-kimo @lacm-ac @thatspookyagent @kise-kae @closet-creature @judyfromfinance @hobistangerine @aikochan4859 @xoxoliyahhxoxo @lil-anxty @black-star1472 @trippingoverstars @aiciteaa @0-kheiron-0 @fennsinhumanity @dijanur @sp-the-fae-queen | note : a lot of people aren't included. if you filled out the form, and aren't here, i couldn't tag you for some reason. sorry :(

[luvanniiee]

Hey dear, i would like to request a slight angst, fluff , poly. twice NaSaHyo×fem reader.

R and Nayeon where dating for years, they been happy and all but one night

While Nayeon and R where laying down on their bed, Nayeon confessed that she cheated on her and she's pregnant, using the excuse of " i wanted kids and he seems nice"

R won't overreact and just ask Nayeon to break up with them, so she won't have to lie about their break up. And just say that they broke up mutually.

(The reader is a KG teacher along with Sana, and Jihyo has a Daughter from a failed marriage. )

The R losses her sparkles and becomes less energetic, forgets everything easily, ends up not feeling a live, just a walking object.

Jihyo's 5yrs old daughter notices the changes in the R and starts to give her alot of attention. Asking her how she's Daily and ofc tells her mom about the changes she noticed in her teacher.

Sana have been crushing on R for as long as she remembers so when she sees the R recent change, she tries her very best to know what happened but R is very secretive.

Jihyo also likes R, but is afraid to confess for her failed marriage hunts her 'till this very day.

___________________________________________

I hope that makes sense and i expressed my request in a understanding way.

Thanks for your time and

Can i be 🪷 Anon!!!???

feel a way

• pairings : nayeon x fem! reader , sana x jihyo, sana x jihyo x fem!reader

• synopsis : your long time girlfriend , nayeon, confessed to cheating on you and getting pregnant. it broke your heart. even though you never openly said anything about to anyone, it was apparent. Park Heiran, the daughter of Park Jihyo and step child of Sana Minatozaki , witnessed this and told her moms. Sana had already been crushing on you for a while. so was Jihyo. can the help bring the light back in your eyes?

• warnings : angst , mentions of cheating , pregnancy , slight toxicity , fluff at the end , heartbreak , mentions of food , mentions of crying, its sad but has good moments, mentions of divorced parents.

• a/n : okay so i was writing this yesterday, but the app crashed and i lost all of that work. but i was thinking about making it a mini series because why not. also anon if you are seeing this: of course you can be 🪷 anon!! but yeah anyways i hope you all enjoy this!!

• story under the cut ;)

you had just come home from work. youre a kindergarten teacher. you love your students like your own children. and they were part of the reason why you wanted kids. nayeon, your longtime girlfriend, was laying in bed. she has been sick for the past couple months. you wanted her to go to the doctor but she always refuses. normally she would have no objections but you decided not to upset her and stopped asking her. she had her fingers in her mouth biting on her nails and had tears falling from her eyes.

nayeon? whats the matter sweetheart? i asked gently. shes also been very moody lately. ever since she came back from her friends house a couple months back , shes been a mess. she sniffled and looked at you. i need to tell you something y/n. she spoke softly. i approached the bed and laid next to her. whats up? i asked. she was trembling softly but it was still noticeable. y/n, do you remember when i went to my friends house? she inquired. yeah. uh Haneul, right? you replied. well hes not just my friend. she spoke.

you blinked a couple times trying to process this information. hes my boyfriend. and we talked about having kids. you know how much i want kids of my own, and he seemed nice. so one thing led to another and now im pregnant. she confessed. your mind went blank for a second. then the reality hit you like a ton of bricks. your longtime girlfriend of 5 years, confessing how she has a boyfriend and is now pregnant with his child. nayeon, i know i cant give you kids, but we talked about having kids when we got married. you said you could wait until then. you spoke, hurt and betrayal now apparent in your voice.

she looked at you. i know y/n, im sorry i hurt you like this. but please, stay here with me. she said. you stood up and started to pack your bags. please y/n. she begged. no nayeon, what the fuck did you think was gonna happen huh? you think im stupid enough to stay here and provide for you when you have a whole ass boyfriend who obviously is more than capable of taking care of you and that child? did you think i was gonna stay here and let you run over me? you paused to see her reaction. she only hing her head low. you must think im dumb. you must think im that fucking naive. well news flash , your wrong and just as stupid if you actually think im gonna sit here and be your puppet.

you huffed as you kept packing. nayeon staying silent. honestly nayeon, i thought you loved me. i thought you cared. you said as tears started coming down. she looked at you, she was hurt too. goodbye nayeon. you said and you picked up your bag. as you started to walk out, you looked at her one more time, tears falling from her eyes. you turned around and walked out. the feeling of leaving her made you sick to your stomach. you felt yourself about to breakdown. you were leaving the woman of your dreams , but you kept walking. you got in your car and drove to the nearest hotel. were you spent the night crying.

luckily, it was friday. so you had the whole weekend to cry. you decided to call one of your friends and you told her what happened. when you asked if you could stay until you got back on your feet , she was more than happy to have you home with her.

today is monday. youve spent the weekend crying. you cried so much, it looked like youve been beat up except your eyes were red. but by monday most of the puffiness was gone. you got ready to set everything up. you got your notes and things ready to present today. the bell rang for the students to come from in from breakfast. you wanted to smile but you were still hurting too much. you put on a mask so that only your eyes were showing. you spoke in your usual tone with the kids.

goodmorning class! how was your weekend? you said cheerfully. you were getting different replies from the kids. some said they went out of town, some said they hung out with eachother, some even said they did nothing. but one student, her name is Heiran, she just stared at you. she was looking in your dark eyes. she noticed that the sparkle that was normally there was replaced by grey skies. Heiran, what did you do? you asked her . oh i hung out with my mommies! she said cheerfully. you smiled softly at her and she smiled back.

you admired Heiran. her biological mother had a failed marriage. they got divorced when Heiran was just a baby. and she had to grow up with a single parent who wasnt making a lot but sure made sure that she had everything she needed. then she told you that her mother found a girlfriend and they were happy. she really didnt fit in with everyone but she didnt seem to care. you admired her because she always smiled even if her feelings were hurt. she was raised well.

it was now lunchtime. all students went to the cafeteria to eat their lunch. you opened your bag and took out a sandwich. normally with nayeon, she would pack you a homecooked meal, and even put a note in there to encourage you throughout the day. your eyes started to well up again until your favorite teacher friend , Sana, walked in. hey honey! she said. oh hey sana! you greeted back. you alright? you look like youve been crying. sana said, concern in her tone. yeah im fine, allergies. you spoke back. she side eyed you. y/n i have been around you long enough to know that allergies dont make you cry over a sandwhich. sana said. just leave it alone sana. you spoke a little harsh. hurt was becoming apparent in your tone.

alright. she said. then she took her lunchbox out and pulled her meal out. hers looked so good. it looked way better than the sorry sandwich you had in your hands. she noticed you staring at it. do you want some? she asked. no. im fine with this. i just wanted to see what you had. you said in a monotone voice. she only huffed out and started eating with you. she always did that. ever since you started working here, she always made sure to sit and eat with you. you looked at sana. her mouth was full, but you thought she looked cute. you always thought she was cute.

the bell snapped you out of your thoughts. sana hurried and finished her bite before she cleaned up. bye y/n. sana said. and she walked towards the door but turned around to look at you. she flashed the warmest smile ever. and walked away. the kids were quick to pile in after that. sanas smile seemed to make you feel slightly better. but you didnt give it much thought.

the bell rang for the last time today. it was dismissal. everyones parents were there to pick there kids up. the small children running into their parents arms. it made you think of nayeon. soon she will be of those moms with the man she cheated on you with. snapping you out of your thoughts, you felt someone tug on your hand. you looked and saw little heiran there. she looked up at you with a bright smile. you keep flashing that bright smile honey, youll outshine the sun! you told her. she giggled. uh, ms y/n? heiran asked. yes? you answered. um…nothing. she said. you only giggled at her.

whats your moms name? you asked her. my mommas name is Jihyo, and her girlfriend is Sama! she answered. Sama? that sounds kinda like sana. then the mom honked her horn. Heiran gave you one last hug before running off and getting in the car. her mom rolled down the window and waved. you waved back. and they drove off

[Jihyos Pov]

how was school today? did you make friends? i asked my daughter. shes had a hard time fitting in. i think its because she has two moms instead of one mom and one dad. no, but mommy, i think ms y/n is sad. Heiran said. oh? whats wrong with her? i asked. i knew Heiran loved her teacher. she always talked about her. and Sana too. and from all ive been hearing, ive seemed to have fallen in love with y/n. even if i havent spoken to her directly. i dont know mommy. Heiran said. i looked in the rear view mirror at her, she smiled and looked out the window.

soon we arrive home. i get dinner started and wait for my girlfriend to get home. and two hours later, she came home. hey honey! i greet her as i kissed her cheek. hi baby! she said and kissed me back. hi heiran! sana said. and heiran ran into her arms. after sana puts her coat down and gets comfy, i set the table and server dinner. we all ate and heiran went to her room and played with her toys. so uh heiran said that y/n was sad today. oh yeah. she was missing her usual spark. she was about to cry over a sandwich. she was staring at my food. she was just very dismissive which isnt normally like her. so i decided to call her girlfriend nayeon. and nayeon said that they broke up last friday. so i think shes just going through a tough breakup. sana and i conversed.

[end of jihyos pov] [first person pov]

the next day you went to work, you saw a box. it was on your desk, you furrowed your brow and walked over to it. there was a note on top of it. ‘im jihyo! heirans mom. please call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx! enjoy your meal’ is what it read. you opened the box and there was a nice meal in there. you smiled and set it aside for lunchtime. y/n? sana called. it startled you from the sudden voice. uh yes sana? you answered.

you and i need to talk… sana said

this is part one. there will probably be two parts but i had to end it here cuz im exhausted babes !! anyways i hope. you enjoyed this so far ! i have a surprise for my ateez lovers after this story is done. but anyways i hope you stick around to the next story. it gets juicier than kylie jenners lips. anyways love all!! even my new mootie ;)

©️luvanniiee on tumblr !!

[seoafin]

nail in the coffin

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader x geto suguru warnings/tags: established relationship, definitely not healthy relationship dynamics, explicit mentions of sex, dubious consent, happy birthday to my babygirl geto suguru im sorry this is so depressing, not exactly angst but not exactly fluff, unhealthy jealousy. talk of pregnancies and children. also mandatory gojo warning tag and he's not even in the fic. word count: ~3.8k read on ao3

“I don’t know what to get Suguru for his birthday.”

Shoko looks up from her paperwork at you. You lay on the infirmary bed closest to her desk, hands neatly folded over your stomach, as if about to relay all your worries to a shrink.

Your distress must be palpable because she shoots you a look of pure amusement. “You’ve done fine these past few years. I’ve never seen a man so happy to receive a potted plant.”

You stare at the ceiling, gnawing on your inner cheek. “It’s different now.”

“Oh?”

It is different now. Or maybe it isn’t. Maybe you’re overthinking it, about all the infinitesimal ways things have changed when they haven’t. It feels like you’re the only one floundering, overwhelmed, trying to navigate the dynamics of your new relationship with Suguru and Satoru. Except the two of them are the same as they’ve always been: smiling, laughing, touching you like their hands belong on your skin, bringing you close with the same confidence of two high schoolers ready to take on the world.

Except it isn’t exactly new, according to your two boyfriends. Satoru had said nothing would change. Suguru told you that you didn’t need to be scared, that now, the three of you could stay together forever, and isn’t that what you had wanted in the first place? A relationship was a promise. A promise the three of you shared.

You’re still uncertain. Terrified.

Maybe nothing had changed for the two of them. But you approached the idea of a romantic relationship with apprehension and the panic of a fleeing hare. You’re not made for it, built for their love in a way anyone else would be. A normal, happy person would be ideal. You’re formed a little too oddly: not exactly straight, bent and twisted in sharp angles, and battered in places only a child can reach.

But when they hold you, the world feels like a better place, and everything feels a little more okay. You wonder if they feel the same. And when they kiss you, you do all you can to cling to that feeling, otherwise you’d drown in your constant worries.

It’s a temporary solution to a sinking ship. 

“You’re spiraling,” Shoko hums, the pen in her grip twirling around her hand. “Come back.”

You blink, feeling suddenly restless. “I just…want it to be special. More special.” You hesitate. “Satoru’s abroad too, so…”

Suguru hadn’t said anything about his upcoming birthday. Not even a mention of it. As if he had wanted to spare you this exact mental and emotional turmoil. Overthinking and agonizing over a seemingly mundane event. This morning, he kissed you, a brief passionate thing, before heading to Kyoto for a meeting at Kyoto Jujustu Tech, promising to be back before six. He had headed out the door only to come back three minutes later to take you on the counter, leaving you breathless and sated, your mind in twists and knots. Then while you had been in a daze, he had smoothed over your clothes, hands running over your body (a teasing pinch here and there), drawn you back back on two feet, and kissed you again, murmuring low declarations of love against your lip. 

I love you. I’ll see you soon.

Love, love, love. 

He pocketed your panties.

“You’re overthinking it,” comes Shoko’s reply. “From you, he’d be happy with a rock.” She eyes you as if she can discern every thought. “You don’t need to overcompensate. You’ve always been enough.”

Warmth blossoms in your chest at her words, tension unraveling, despite your uneasiness, and you appreciate them. Any other year, a new book and your sorry attempt at baking a cake would have sufficed. But now you aren’t sure. What do people get their lovers on their birthday? What had Satoru gotten for Suguru on his previous birthdays? Suguru for Satoru? You won’t be able to measure up. Not with all your failings in romance.

After a disastrous first date, and Satoru’s absence, you only want to make him happy. 

You reluctantly rise from the bed. “If Satoru were here…” You trail off. Two weeks abroad in the Philippines experiencing the last of torrential monsoons, discovering the sweets of a different culture, and documenting it all for you and Suguru and Shoko. You never get used to the feeling of missing him.

His presence would be welcome, but you aren’t sure this is something you could confide in to anyone but Shoko. Sometimes, you think your doubts are something they just wouldn’t be able to comprehend.

Just as you feared, a romantic relationship is profoundly different from sex. A purely sexual relationship with Satoru and Suguru had also meant your friendship could remain intact. Separate. Maybe at first, you had told yourself you didn’t mind, not when it made them so happy. Maybe you had always wanted it, but you didn’t need it. You were happy before, content. You don’t know how to be a lover. You don’t even know how to love, not in the way they deserve.

Bent and twisted.

You glance at the clock, feet hanging over the bed. “I should go. Tsumiki’s going to help the girls make a cake for Suguru.” You smile at the thought. Of course, you’d be relegated to clean up duty, but you wouldn’t be alone. Megumi would keep you company, just as he always did. A small extension of your shadow glued to your side while the girls fed batter to Megumi’s divine dogs and laughed, chattering about school assignments and their upcoming school field trip to the aquarium. 

Only then would you be able to forget about your worries for a while.

Getting to your feet, Shoko stops you.

“If you’re really that worried about a gift. Have you considered pregnancy?”

You nearly trip over your feet.

She shakes her head, laughter on the tip of her sigh. “That got your attention, didn’t it?”

……..

Suguru comes home just as the cake has been wrapped and placed into the oven to cook. Nanako immediately moves to stand in front of the oven with Tsumiki, their bodies blocking the cake. Suguru feigns ignorance about the cake as Mimiko clings to his leg. He picks her up in his arms and plants a kiss on top of her head, drawing Nanako away from the oven to demand a kiss for her too.

You’re washing the dishes, giving them to Megumi to dry when Suguru’s arm snakes around your waist and brings you chest to chest. Before you can utter a syllable, Suguru kisses you.

To the delight of the girls, and the great suffering of Megumi, who wrinkles his nose, places the dry plate in his hands on the rack, climbs down the stool, and shuffles away, divine dogs nipping at his feet. The girls follow after him, giggling. Video games in Megumi’s room, you’re sure.

He’s unusually happy. You could’ve sworn he had been whistling the same tune you often hear from Satoru’s lips. “I’m home.”

You place a steadying hand on his chest, a slow smile spreading on your face. “Welcome home.”

Suguru chuckles, brushing the hair out of your face fondly. “You sound like a housewife.” Then he glances at the apron tied around your waist, and kisses you again until you’re breathless, fingers fisted tight in his shirt.

“I was thinking,” he says, not disheveled in the slightest. Unlike you. “How about we go out tonight? There’s an izakaya that just opened up not far from here. We can go and decide whether or not it’s good enough to appease Satoru’s high taste.”

As long as there were sugary drinks and more sugar, you’re sure that would be more than enough to keep Satoru quiet for dinner.

“I don’t mind.” You look on the counter and realize Suguru brought home takeout KFC for the kids. Mimiko will be delighted. “I thought you had to get up early tomorrow—”

“I can be late,” he replies, lips curling into a mischievous smile. “I wasn’t planning on an early night anyway.”

Your face heats at the implication. At the memory of his lips this morning, the shape of his hands, and the burning desire of his gaze. You look to his pocket, unconsciously, and his lips pull into a teasing smirk. You look away, embarrassed. Feel heat pooling between your thighs underneath his darkening gaze.

You don’t get to ask him about what he might like for his birthday, what Satoru’s gotten him on his previous birthdays (before you had been added to this convoluted romantic equation), or anything of that note. Mimiko runs back into the kitchen and demands Suguru’s attention for a school project.

……..

The izakaya is bustling, close to bursting open with the amount of patrons seated around the wooden counter and in small, packed tables around the restaurant, forcing people leg to leg, shoulder to shoulder. Suguru leads you in, and you can’t help but be amused at the way the waitress brightens at his arrival, and the sight of her disappointment when she catches sight of you, next to him. There are two empty seats at the counter and you raise an eyebrow at Suguru. On a piece of paper in front plastered to the front door: No reservations.  

Upon being seated, Suguru and the waitress, Akari chat about the popular items on the menu as you look around the small area bathed in dim lights, and the scent of meat grilling on charcoal. You’d like to come here with Shoko on your next night out, and drink. Cheers erupt from across the izakaya. Five or six tables haphazardly pushed together to make one long table seating what looks like drinking college students. Girls on one side, guys on the other.

“A mixer,” Akari says, almost apologetically, as Suguru takes your jacket and hooks it behind him. She takes out a notepad and a pen. “I’m sure they’ll be ready to leave soon. You know how college students can be!”

“A mixer, huh,” Suguru muses. “I don’t miss those.”

“I’m sure you were popular with all the girls,” Akari blurts out. As if realizing her words, she flushes prettily. Suguru looks faintly embarrassed at the compliment, ducking his head.

“Well, I doubt I would’ve noticed either way,” Suguru says with a short chuckle, apologetic. “There was only one girl I was only ever interested in so…”

He’s looking at you. Even though the izakaya is thoroughly heated to stave off the winter cold outside, your face warms, insides twisting, and you swallow. Suguru takes your hand, massaging, warming it up from the biting cold.

“Oh!” She replies, clasping her hands together dreamily. “How long have the two of you been together?”

“Three years, give or take. It feels like we’ve been together since highschool though.”

You blink. Three years? Since high school? According to your estimations, it’s only been three months. You don’t have time to dwell on it because Akari asks if you’re ready to order. 

Suguru orders a little bit of everything. Braised foods, grilled foods, potato and cucumber salad, tuna and salmon sashimi, and two large pints of hakkaisan. You hadn’t planned on drinking tonight, but Suguru only grins conspiratorially, (“you have to try the seishu if you want to come here with Shoko”) and he’s right. Only the best for her. You note the menu has an entire subsection dedicated to western ice cream sundae desserts. Satoru will definitely like that.

Akari takes your order and briefly returns with your appetizers and two large pints of Hakkaisan. Suguru takes a picture and sends it to Satoru. Your phone vibrates from the force of the rapid stream of texts sent by Satoru's fast fingers. You turn your phone on silent.

When you take a large, long sip, it’s Suguru’s turn to raise an eyebrow. He wipes the foam off your lips and licks it off his thumb. You pointedly look away. Suguru’s laugh is good natured.

“Now,” Suguru murmurs, still audible despite the increasingly present background noise. He lightly bumps his leg into yours. He looks concerned. “What’s on your mind?”

Three years. High school. Birthday presents. His birthday. It all dies on your tongue.

“How was the meeting?” You ask instead.

Suguru doesn’t push. “Fine. Boring. Naoya was there.”

You down the rest of your Hakkaisan as Suguru looks on. You don’t know if you can be sober for this conversation. You don’t know if you want to. Satoru- kun , Suguru- kun . You frown. When there’s nothing left in your glass, you let him feed you a glazed meatball.

“Nothing about—”

“If Naoya wants to inherit the clan, leaving Megumi alone works in his favor. We both know how he feels about his inheritance, and I doubt he’ll change his mind.”

(Megumi, aged ten, coolly staring down at a seated Naobito: No. Thanks.)

“ Killing Megumi works in his favor,” you point out. It’s awful. He’d do it too like the coward he is. You’d previously held no strong feelings towards the Zenin other than annoyance and mutual dislike. He had liked Satoru and Suguru well enough, trailing after them while thinking you an eyesore, severely annoyed at your resistance to calling him Naoya- sama like his servants back home. Where, to him, is exactly where you belonged.

At least Shoko- chan is useful . Even if she is a woman, he’d said. You didn’t need him to tell you what you already knew. When he crudely told you that there were more useful things she could be doing, like passing down her reverse cursed technique, you had activated your own cursed technique and pushed him into the lake.

You supposed he was still sore about that, although you, yourself, had forgotten about it. After that altercation in high school, you never saw him again. Until Megumi.

“They won’t take him.” You say severely. “I won’t let them.”

Megumi and Tsumiki were yours , just as much as Mimiko and Nanako were Suguru’s, and you’d fight tooth and nail, just as you had when you were a high schooler to protect them. 

“ We won’t let them,” Suguru says gently. “We’ll protect the children.”

You relax at his words. The three of you. Just like it had been in high school. But also it’s not really the same is it? Now Suguru and Satoru kiss you like they’ve always been doing it. Nothing’s changed, you hear Satoru say in your head, but everything has. Now you regularly fall asleep to the sound of soft breathing, sandwiched between two bodies, and wake up to hands roaming your body as if they belong there. And when they fuck you, it’s so tender you’re unsure of what to do. You never dwell on it too long, you can’t, because they’re insistent on keeping you with them, in the heat of the moment, until you’re so strung out you can’t formulate words. Again and again, over and over—

Have you considered pregnancy? 

You aren’t even sure Satoru or Suguru want children, least of all with you. You’d be a horrible mother. Children—

You don’t know. Not anymore. It’s all so confusing. So you order the strongest whiskey cocktail on the menu, and ask for an extra dose of whiskey as Suguru looks on, and when Akari delivers it along with your first courses, you down the entire thing. And then order another.

……..

To everyone’s great astonishment, you had been twelve drinks in when Suguru cut you off. You’re not drunk. You think. Everything is slightly tilted towards the right but that might just be the weight of your head tilting precariously to one side. Even the dim lights are bright to your eyes. Okay, you’re drunk.

Suguru is looking at you, slightly swaying on your stool with such a lovestruck expression that the tangled bundle of nerves in your stomach slightly settles. You love him so much. But you also know that you are poisoning this relationship, this thing you have Satoru and Suguru, with your fears and concerns. It’s not right. It’s all your fault.

You love him and Satoru so much it feels like your heart might burst. You’re so happy that any day you’re terrified it might come to an abrupt end. You’re not ready for it to end. It will end. It always does. And it’ll be your fault for being so weak. For giving in. 

You stand, placing a hand on Suguru’s shoulder to steady yourself. His hand automatically goes to your waist.

“Washroom,” you tell him and you slowly make your way to the door, Suguru’s gaze following you all the way inside. The buzzing of the fluorescent lights scratch your eyes as you hover over the sink and sigh. You shouldn’t have drank so much.

You breathe, splash water on your face, and wash your hands. You aren’t sober, but you’re on your way. When you exit the bathroom, two college aged girls are sidled up to Suguru, and you stare.

You aren’t quite sure what to do. From the looks of it, they could just be having a conversation. You’re ill equipped and unprepared to handle a situation like this. But then the brunette puts her hand on Suguru’s shoulder and smiles, white teeth flashing, lips ruby red. Her friend with dyed blonde hair and a voluptuous chest begins to start playing with a lock of Suguru’s hair.

The hair that he had left down because you liked it down the most.

Everything’s changed, you think, making your way over. It’s not fair for Satoru to say it hasn’t. If it had been before you would’ve been fine. You would’ve quietly excused yourself and made yourself scarce. You would have encouraged it. You would have wanted them to be happy with a nice, normal girl. It was alright when it was just sex. They promised that that was all that it was. Just sex. A way all three of you could feel good. Mutually beneficial. But they had to kiss you, bring you to tears and then kiss those tears away.

Maybe if you give us a kiss first , Suguru would croon, underneath you, watching your heaving, desperate body with lidded eyes. Satoru’s nearly luminescent gaze hungrily trained on you as you struggled to form words.

They had to want more than you could give them.

When you get to your seat, conversation falls to a sudden silence. The two girls size you up, but you don’t pay them attention. You don’t bother to say anything. You grab a still seated Suguru by the middle of his shirt and pull him up into you for a long kiss.

You try to keep it chaste, but Suguru doesn’t let you, doesn’t want to. There’s a nip at your bottom lip, a demanding swipe of his tongue, but you refuse him entry. He’s smiling into your lips when you squeeze his shoulder, hard enough to hurt, and the two of you separate. He’s not even out of breath. Just so pleased with himself you wonder if he planned this, let some random girl touch his hair, touch him.

You tell yourself you don’t care. 

You turn on your heel, leaving him with the bill.

It doesn’t even take him five minutes to catch up with you.

“Are you mad?” He asks, your jacket on his arm. “You forgot your jacket—”

“Suguru,” you say. “What do you want for your birthday?”

You can tell he hadn’t been expecting that, because he momentarily blinks. Then smiles. When Suguru is taken off guard, it’s difficult to tell. Because he always smiles, but there are tells in his expression. “Anything wou—”

“Shoko said I should get pregnant.” You leave out the part where she had been joking. “Is that what you want? You and Satoru? How many children?”

You’d be lying if you said you had never thought about it. Birth control was only so secure, and Satoru and Suguru liked it, finishing inside of you.

You wouldn’t be averse to it. Satoru would give you a girl. Suguru, a boy, and maybe another girl. 

Suguru’s throat bobs, watching you. He thought you were joking. You’re not. “A couple,” he says slowly, gauging your face. “Girls,” he says, expression soft as he looks at you. “Satoru wants girls. A boy or two, so Megumi wouldn’t be alone.”

There’s a future here. It terrifies you so much. They want it, the both of them, this future you aren’t even sure you’ll be present for. 

“Now,” you say, licking your lips. You won’t let him look away, not now. “Tell me what you want for your birthday.”

“You,” he breathes out. He looks sad. “All of you.”

“Okay,” you say simply. Quietly. You’d do anything for him. For Satoru and Shoko. You look down at the frost lined streets and let your breath mist in the chilly air. You wordlessly take your jacket from Suguru and put it on.

You press your face into his chest. His arms envelope you. He’s warm, and for a few seconds you listen to the steady rhythm of his heart.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You don’t mind if they hurt you. Never did. You look up at him. “I love you.”

His hands are surprisingly warm when he cups your face like you are the most precious thing in the world. But now you’ve made him sad. “I love you,” he says softly. “I love you so much.”

His words are undeniably true. He loves you. He and Satoru, in ways you never asked for. In ways that have brought them nothing but suffering. You don’t know if it’s worth it. You wonder if they regret it. You would’ve been forever content as a spectator.

In four days Satoru will be back home, right back in Suguru’s arms. He’ll kiss you greedily, all consuming, as if to make up for the lost time, and then the three of you will end up in the bedroom the three of you now permanently share, clothes strewn all over the room. Satoru will fuck you first if he hasn’t already had Suguru. Then Suguru. Then he will spread the rest of the night buried between your thighs, below you, on top of you, leaving his mark on your body, as if to make up for the lost time while Suguru takes your mouth. Then the two of them will fuck you together. You will cry, cling to them, and kiss them. Messy, cum swapping, consuming exchanges that swallow you whole. They will kiss you back to devour you, and only then will they be satisfied. 

In the pale light of the morning, sometimes you press your ear to their chests, close your eyes, and listen. Like listening to the call of the ocean, the tides, in the opening of a conch. No two heartbeats are the same. Not even theirs.

But right now Suguru is not asleep. You close your eyes and dedicate yourself to memorization. In four days you will lie awake on Satoru’s chest, and listen to the heartbeat that makes him human.

Right now though, you think, this is enough, and you are content.

a/n:

-when i conceptualized this it was initially haha you get drunk and kiss geto. wouldn't that be cute. and then it turned into this. in an effort to defend myself i will say that the people wanted an established relationship!

-so i know this fic ends on a debbie downer mood but i swear they will talk about it. sometime later. maybe. rip!mc is just a lillll dumb so. she just needs space y'all (and maybe an apartment (to herself))) and we all know what boundaries mean to One Gojo Satoru. also yes geto can be a male manipulator at times. that's why we love him.

-yes rip!mc attempts to murder naoya yes she forgets about it right after. that's just how irrelevant he is. she probably saw a cat right after or smt idk.

-rip!mc still does not know stsg have been pining since hs. shoko is like you still haven't told her and geto is like. baby steps.

-nail in the coffin is a whisky cocktail made with japanese whisky. i thought it was hilariously ironic. also if ur a true shoko fan you should know she orders whisky cocktails in the light novel!!!

[winters8child]

It´s been a long, long time

Chapter 3

Nothing could have prepared me for the life I would eventually lead. I was supposed to be ordinary, inconsequential even. Go to school, be a good girl and eventually become a good wife to a simple man. He did not have to love me or even like me, as long as I did not complain and bore children, life was good. At least thats what I had been told. I was getting older and life was becoming more serious. On my 16th birthday my mother took me aside and told me "You are a woman now, so act accordingly or no man will want you." I did not know what accordingly meant, but I did not like the sound of it. "You cant keep hanging out with those boys anymore if you want to find a good husband" She looked kinda sad saying this but I knew she meant it. "I have seen the way you run down the stairs whenever they come by, but he is not the right fit for you, that James. Dont get me started on that Steve boy, how can he ever think of protecting you, looking frail like that". But I was not having it, I turned around and stormed out of the house.

I ran to the one place I always hung out at, when everything around me was beeing too much. I called it my quit spot. It was a low wall where I could sit, looking out to the river. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was shining and I could hear children play and laugh outside. I dont know when I stopped beeing one of those children but today it felt like it was over for good. Those careless days, behind me forever. I did not know how long I had been sitting there, when I heard steps behind me. "Hey, I was at your place but your mom said you were out. She seemed distressed. Everything alright?", Steve asked while sitting down next to me.

"Im getting old, Steve. My mother expects me to get married anyday now, it feels like. I dont even know if I want to get married, but that is what is expected of me. Get married to a man I dont care about and have a ton of kids." Steve was taken aback by that and was struggling for words. "Maybe you will find someone that you like or even love?", he finally said. "But maybe I want someone that loves me back? Or is that too much to ask for?" He took my hand and said: "Any man would be happy to have you, believe me. And if all fails, Ill marry you." I did not know what to say to that, so I just stared at him.

"You know we cant do that. You deserve to marry someone you love, Steve. Not a marriage of convenience.", I stated. He let go of my hand and looked out at the river without a word. He seemed sad all of a sudden. After a couple of minutes passed in silence, he got up and took something out of his pocket and handed it to me. "Happy birthday, I hope you like it and if you dont I can find something else but I thought..." Before he could finish his sentence, I opened the little box. It was a pin shaped like a ladybug. The colours were so vibrant and it glimmered in the sun. "The day you moved here, something changed. Like my life would finally go into the right direction. Just out of pure luck, the most darling and sweet girl moved into my neighbourhood. So when I saw that pin, I had to think of you. I hope thats alright."

I was lost for words, no one had ever made me such a thoughtful gift. Steve crouched down to me "May I?" I handed him the pin and he carefully put it on my collar. He smiled at me and I leaned forward and gave him a tentative kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, its gorgous." He blushed and it was so sweet that I blushed in return. We sat there until the sun went down and we ran out of things to talk about.

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

replying to @caozihuanismyson

"If that was love, Cao Pi didn’t need it. Didn’t want it. It was better to be indispensable than cherished. He needed to become something that could not be left behind. Something that Father could not live without." my jaw just fucking dropped #i love this. im in love. holy shit#HE NEEDED TO BECOME SOMETHING THAT COULD NOT BE LEFT BEHIND SOMETHING THAT FATHER COULD NOT LIVE WITHOUT#(im screaming louder so people in the back can hear)#(jk there's no one in the back cuz it's san guo on tumblr.com but still)#💀#thank u op i have ascended#also all the little details of ang trying to make up for father's absence for his lil bros..... when pi wiped his tears my heart broke#that part where cao pi imagined ang's last moments? holy shit i've never thought of it that way it's genius and horrifying#(ok i need a moment)#also............... i'm going insane about the part with fish and jade#and cao pi describing cao cao's expression of love towards cao ang as painful#and wanting to put him in his mouth like how soldiers keep their precious things safe#i thought this was going to be about ang's tragedy .... but it turned out to be about that and the horror of pi's existence#thank u for the meal op i'm so grateful

thank you so much, this is such a nice comment to wake up to!!!! it makes me so happy to have such dedicated readers who catch every single detail ;u;

Cao Ang has been my blorbo for a long time because he is a fascinating contradiction. he achieved nothing and did nothing of note, but seems to have left a significant impression on those around him. Cao Cao expresses regret for him on his deathbed. Cao Pi talks about how he should have been the rightful heir. Lady Ding was willing to disobey the most powerful man in the empire in order to get the smallest measure of justice for him. His death always struck me as, well, a feel-good narrative told by a guilty conscience. Cao Cao could have ordered any one of his bodyguards to give up his horse, but he didn't. It makes sense in the coldest, most logical way. Why lose an able-bodied fighter for a brat? You can always make more. I came up with a bunch of scenarios of what "really" happened, but in the end i realised it doesn't matter. Cao Cao still left his son to die. the horror comes from the ambiguity itself. I also wanted to explore how his actions would impact the remainder of his children. They realised overnight that they were all disposable and no one was safe. the real tragedy doesn't come from Cao Ang's death, but his father undoing all his hard work. Ang tried his best to give them love, curb their worst impulses, and foster good relationships between them, only for his father to stick them in the Sibling Royale. Climb to the top and uproot all your competition. ect. ect.

But I am an optimistic person and I believe true love can pierce the veil and save the day and all that. Cao Ang's ghost continues to haunt the narrative and in the end, he manages to effect his brothers in some way. Cao Pi comes to realise that, hey, this kinda sucks, actually. i think we're emotionally stunted and perpetuating the cycle of violence. maybe i don't have to trample all my brothers to preserve my own life. maybe i shouldn't become exactly like father. hmm much to think about. Cultural Context, for those interested:

funerary practices are not historical, but based on the modern shangdong ones i've experienced.

"putting your child in your mouth" is an expression of helpless tenderness. the full phrase is "i want to you hold in my hands, but i'm afraid of dropping you. i want to hold you in my mouth, but i'm afraid you will melt." i wanted to show this conflict within cao cao, the warlord vs the man. how his ambition corrupts him. ultimately, cao cao does not put his son in his mouth to protect him. he consumes him instead.

the opening scene is based on Cao Pi's poem "Traveling on the city wall." His poems are notable for being very emo, he talks about feeling isolated and unfulfilled despite having every worldly possession. I decided to connect it with Cao Zhi's (ahistorical) bean poem. the metaphor is less profound, but what can you do? he is the lesser poet after all ;))) .

[youremyheaven]

Hello how are you?. I just want to give you my experience with another encounter and experience with Venus dominant woman

My abusive mother is Purvashadha Sun (3rd house again same with my ex friend), Danishta Moon ( 4th house) and Chitra (1st house) Ascendant. She also has Mars in Vishaka 1st house and Mercury in Mula Conjunct Sun in Purvashadha in the 3rd house .

While me Saturn Conjunction Ketu in Uttarabharapadha in the 2nd house, Sun Conjunction Rahu in hasta in the 8th house, Krittika Moon 4th house, Hasta Sun 8th house and Purvabharapadha Ascendant 1st house

*warning mentions of abuse, rape

She never loved me in the first place. I remember in my childhood I get to see my mother love and take care other adult women and girls same my age as her daughter but not me.

She loves wealth than her children. She starve us and never use the money onto us but more on her own jewelries. She uses the loan and debt to buy us for food.

Shes a manipulative gaslighter and enabler too especially always sided to our abusive father.

She always criticize our weight and the need for us to be skinny and model like beauty and body. She always criticize me and my siblings what we wear what we do in our lives what career and everything.

Shes obsessed with perfect beauty and being youthful. But it never happens on her but only to me.

She secretly competes with me everyday painted me like a bad guy and being delusional at all times.

She made my life like a living hell. Until her health starts declining and all she wants in her life didn't happen even controlling us.

She did creepy thing like not respecting boundaries and always told us to fit in and do what people has to say. She let other people destroy our boundaries.

She took pictures of my backside and butt area when I was asleep.

She even lets stranger go inside our house and called them a part of the family and we didn't even know them.

My brother saved me from possible rape that she accepted as a " brother". And my only brother are there to save me and my abusive mother are not there to save me.

She never let the man in jail because the mother of the stranger that almost raped me was asked to never put him into jail and she agreed.

She is very obsessed delusion of looking of our speaking pattern, tone and everything then tell our private conversation without knowing, try to strain our siblings dynamic but she didn't win.

Always looking for drama and recently she is added to a groupchat with her abusive siblings that she has drama with (they make fool of themselves)

She's having the delusions every man she talk with had a romance interest in her

She always are very jealous and envy when other people called me beautiful or always talk about me.

She has self entitlement and also a narcissist.

She always called her children even when we are healthy as fat pig

She has insecurity with herself and likes to be a leader of women empowerment but hates women who go achieving their dreams and she hate and resents me and other women who "NEVER HAD A CHILD IN THEIR TWENTIES" AND CHOOSE NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN.

She likes to repress our sexuality freedom which she never win.

She is angry at women who was being like and perverted by my abusive father even if it's a minor or have evidence that he sexually harassed them.

She is happy that me and my siblings didn't ask her for help and money

And always take toxic positivity and mindset in dealing with us through FACEBOOK Cringe outdated motivation and issues in relationship and have healthy dynamic

Her karma is her own marriage and me and my siblings font talk to her.

omg i hope you're in a better place now. im sorry you've had to experience all this :(

tysm for sharing your experiences tho

my Purvaphalguni Moon grandma is very similar to your mom. i once fell down on the hilltop next to her house (thankfully i didnt roll down the hill or anything, i just fell) and i bruised my thigh area and hurt my legs pretty bad and she made a big fuss about how this happened because of how all the people in the neighbourhood were giving me nazar/evil eye because of my big booty 😶and she told me i shouldnt walk around "enticing" the neighbourhood folk with my ass??? lol? and i told her that made no sense bc there were hardly any men in that area, just old ladies, their daughters etc and she said "yes they're jealous of you because theyre not built like you" and i was like ok grandma might as well call me a whore with the way i entice senior citizens with my giant ass 😤my grandma body shames a lot a lot a lot as well but thats a whole another thing. my grandmom is lowkey obsessed with my mom (in a very love-hate way) and she always ALWAYS talks about my mom in a highly sexualized way and compares me to her and its soooo icky

she's also obsessed with beauty, looks etc and she takes A LOT of pride in my mom being stunning which makes her other kids feel upset lol (you'd be hard-pressed to have a convo with her without her mentioning how down bad the whole village was for my mom in her youth) ive always thought that in a different culture/era, my grandma would 100% be a stage mom who tried to milk her daughter for fame/money (lowkey reminds me of brooke shields and her mom)