#i have never felt this protective over a tv show character in my LIFE

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

With Discretion

Here it is! I hope you guys like part 1. Part 2 is in the works. I am planning for this to be a 2 parter, 3 at the most haha we'll see! You can find more of my work here. In the meantime enjoy this one! (Once again, gif credits to @londonharry 🫶🏻)

Warnings: Infidelity (adultery), inappropriate relationship, mentions of drinking/partying, mild dirty talk, slight praise kink, multiple and forced orgasms, dry humping, choking, oral sex (f receiving described, m receiving mentioned), fingering, sex (protected & unprotected)

WC: 12.7K

You had never intended on sleeping with your husband, Caleb’s, boss but you had six months ago and you hadn’t stopped thinking about him since. It was overwhelmingly excellent and of course, unforgettable. You didn’t even feel guilty anymore when you fantasized about him when you and Cal would sleep together. The way it developed felt almost like a TV drama scriptwriter had taken over your life and was writing your character into a completely surreal situation. 

You had suspicions that Cal was having an affair. You lived in the suburbs so his commutes to work were nearly an hour there and back, so when he had to work late it made sense to get a hotel and stay the night in the city. But it was hard to miss the fact that over the course of the past year, the odd late night at the office had suddenly become more commonplace.

At first you thought nothing of it, but one day he made the mistake of using your joint account to make a reservation at one of the fancier restaurants in the city. You just so happened to be checking the activity of the account that afternoon because you were expecting a reimbursement from a purchase you had made for a client a few weeks before. A simple call to the restaurant confirmed your suspicions that it was a reservation for two. And not even an hour later, you’d received the usual text he sent when he was “working late”. Maybe it was just for business but to verify, you decided to show up at his office an hour before the reservation. Their building was a skyscraper and housed a couple different offices, but when you made it to the 23rd floor and it was pretty desolate your suspicion started rising. You had only visited his office once when he’d first go hired. He had brought you along on a Sunday to help him set up and decorate without disturbing any of his coworkers. The building had been just as vacant as it was tonight. Regardless, you headed over to his office and saw the blinds and door were closed, so you knocked just in case and after not receiving any response you opened it up and peeked inside to find it empty with no sign of him even coming back and you sighed. 

The feeling of reality just bitch slapping you across the face was strong, but before you could even start to feel any disappointment your entire body froze when a deep voice came from behind you: “Excuse me, can I help you with something?” 

The man before you was striking, it stunned you for a second, suspending time as you looked deep into his furrowed eyebrows. He seemed concerned that a stranger was peeking into the CFO’s office. You were quick to explain that you were Caleb’s wife and were stopping by to see if he wanted a dinner break since he was working late. That’s when he introduced himself as Harry Styles, CEO, and verified that he’d only asked Caleb to stay late twice in the 3 years he’d been working for him. When he saw your face fall he caught on quickly and immediately apologized. You then explained that you had suspicions of Cal’s unfaithfulness for months now and had actually come in to confirm your suspicions. He asked if there was anything he could do to help, but you assured him there was not and went home.

You were devastated initially, but as time went on you were just annoyed that you hadn’t caught on sooner. It seemed so obvious now that you were aware, there was even more damning evidence that you had failed to see before. And well, you were afraid of what this meant for you because Cal was a bit older than you and he had money, and had some personal funds invested in your event planning business. You wanted to fight about it or to get him back, but you had a lot to lose if your marriage ended so you decided to be selfish & just let it be. At least now you knew and you could just start to move on emotionally. 

A few months after that interaction with Mr. Styles, Cal had left for a “business trip” with all of the top executives from the office. So you and your friends took a trip to the city to bar hop a bit and much to your surprise, you saw Mr. Styles leaning against the bar and you made your way over and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around he was surprised to see you of all people.

“Why’s the CEO of the company not in Tokyo for the all executive business trip?” You had asked with a playful grin.

“Because there’s no business trip to Tokyo.”  He responded with a smirk. 

You had expected Cal to lie, but the confirmation of it had once again made you close another emotional tie to your husband. Harry had been so kind and ended up buying drinks for you and your friends for the night and even brought you guys into the VIP area with him and his friends. 

He was fun, sweet, and very attentive. Even a little flirty with you, dare you say, but you chalked it up to the drinks you’d each had.  But as the night progressed your friends and Harry’s friends slowly started disappearing one by one. And nearing 1am it was just you and one of your more drunken friends along with Harry & a couple others from his group. Your friend, Cece, was plastered and you wanted to get her to bed so you thanked Harry for his generosity and let him know that you would be heading out, but he insisted that his car service drop you guys off at your hotel. Your friend ended up passing out in the car and because of this, Harry offered to help you get her up to her room. Once she was safe in her own room for the night Harry walked you up to your room and well, that soon turned into a lot more than you had expected…

… SIX MONTHS EARLIER …

“Thank you so much for helping me get her up here.” You smiled as you held your friend Cecilia’s door open as Harry hurried by, carrying her bridal style to her bed.

“Not a problem.” He assured as he gently set her down. She groaned and stirred a bit, “We should probably leave a bin within reach.” He glanced back to you as the heavy door closed with a loud thud.

“Good thinking.” You smiled as you hurried over to the other end of the room where a trashcan was nestled beneath the desk. You sighed when you saw that the liner had not been put in and was just sitting neatly at the bottom so you bent down to do just that. 

Harry didn’t mean to ogle you the way he had been all night, but he couldn’t help himself. You looked absolutely breathtaking and for the life of him, he couldn’t understand how Caleb could just screw you over the way he was. Harry didn’t even know he was married until you had shown up at the building a few months back looking for him. In his eyes Caleb was immature and a complete fool, even if he was 15 years his senior. Because if he had someone like you at his side he would never dream of doing anything to jeopardize that.

“Alright, that’s all set.” You said as you put the garbage can by Cecilia’s bedside, flicked on the bedside lamp, and then turned around to smile at him.

“Well at least she had a lot of fun.” He said as you started making your way out of the room.

“Exactly.” You giggled as you shut off the big lights and opened up the door and you both made it back into the hall. You walked to the elevator in a comfortable silence and then stopped before it, you turned to him to say goodnight.

“Are you up or down?” He asked you as he walked up to the buttons on the wall.

“Up. Much to my displeasure.” You mumbled and he smiled.

“Scared of heights?” He asked and you nodded in confirmation, “Me too. I hate that my office is all windows.” He said with a chuckle, “First time I got in there I decided to look out of it and I got a spell of vertigo for a few hours.” He admitted and you frowned a bit.

“Oh wow, so it’s bad.”

“Yeah, awful.” He confirmed just as the elevator chimed to indicate it’s arrival.

“You don’t have to take me up, I know it’s late and-”

“No, it’s alright. Just want to make sure you get in safe.” He assured as you both stepped inside.

“Thanks, that’s sweet of you.” You smiled as you pressed the button to the 15th floor.

“It’s nothing.” He assured you with a smile, “Ummm…you can tell me to fuck off if I’m prying, but I guess I’ve just noticed that you don’t seem all that upset about Caleb cheating and lying to you about his whereabouts.” He said and you sighed.

“I was at first, after I went to the office?” You reminded and he nodded, “But I then decided that it was out of my hands and like…I don’t know, it’s not that I don’t love him enough, but I just…don’t want to fight and if all this is is like a fling or midlife crisis,” you giggled, “It’ll sort itself out.” You explained and he hummed. “It might also have a lot to do with everyone telling me that marrying and older man was a bad idea.” You admitted with a slight smile and he did as well.

“So no one was supportive?”

“Not really.” You confessed.

“How old are you now, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“30, turning 31 soon.” You said.

“Oh, I just turned 31! It’s just as annoying.” He assured and you giggled.

“Good. People’ve been a lot more invested in my personal life since I turned 30.”

“Oh yeah…"when are you getting married?", "Are you going to have children?", "When are you going to start acting your age?"…” he recited all of the same questions people seemed to concerned to know the answers to and you chuckled.

“Exactly.” You hummed, “I mean, I was 24 when we got married. Literally fresh out of grad school. That same summer.” You said and he hummed in understanding.

“Did you date long?”

“A year and a half or so? We met at an entrepreneurial convention and I was manning a booth for the place I was working at, at the time and we just got to talking. You know how he can just get along with anyone…” you explained and he nodded. “I did fall hard and fast…but I mean, I think he just wanted to snatch me up before I lost interest or something because I wasn’t in a rush to be married. But he seemed to be and well, I agreed because I did love him-er I do, sorry! I do love him.” You corrected yourself, feeling a bit shocked by your fumble.

“I mean, feelings can change.” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah…I mean, clearly his have.” You said as the doors opened up on your floor.

“I mean, sounds like yours have too a bit.” He said as you started guiding him down the hall.

“I think you made a mistake in walking me to my room. I’m pretty deep in.” You explained, changing the subject and he smiled at you.

“It’s no bother. I quite like talking to you.” He said and you smiled up at him.

“I ummm…like talking to you too, Harry.” You assured him. “So what about you? Any lucky lads or ladies?” You asked him and he chuckled.

“Hmmm, sometimes, but not to any serious capacity. I’m always so busy with the firm.” He explained, “It’s not like I don’t want that though…I just want to make sure that when I do have that it’s…as right for me as possible. I don’t know, not so big on wasting people’s time, you know? Like if I were in your shoes I would make a fuss and try to get even in someway…” he said and you chuckled.

“So vengeful!” You teased.

“Well you’re married to the guy! You made a commitment to each other, you know? It’s just disrespectful in my opinion. If something changed for him then he should say that instead of sneaking off with someone else, you know?”

“I wholeheartedly agree.” You concurred as you made another turn, “But if I were to “get him back” or give him a taste of his own medicine I’m just not sure that it would make anything better for me at least.” You explained as you slowed down as you reached your door, “Like, do I think bout it sometimes, yeah! Of course I do.” You chuckled, “But I don’t think it would impact him in any way. I wouldn’t advertise it to him either, you know?” You explained as you glanced down and opened up your bag to search for your key. 

“Well if not to get back at him then just for yourself. I mean, if he’s out there getting his ego boosted by who knows who, why wouldn’t you?” Harry asked and you smiled as your eyes flickered up to his.

“I mean…thankfully, I don’t think I need that validation from anyone else.” You explained and he smiled a bit, “I know who I am and I am happy with who I am, in every way. And, not to sound arrogant, but I know what I bring to the table as a partner and if that’s not enough for someone then… their loss.” You concluded with a simple shrug.

“You’re absolutely extraordinary.” He said softly, as if he were in awe of you. You felt your cheeks warming as all of the blood rushed to your face at his compliment and you looked away. Bashfully shaking your head as if that would help ward off the feeling his compliment elicited from you. 

“Hardly.” You said lowly and suddenly his hands were on your face and he was tilting you up to look up at him. His touch was gentle as his eyes flickered back and forth over your own.

“You are, Y/N.” He assured you softly and you felt like your were on cloud 9, your hands grabbed around his wrists firmly, “If I had you, I would never be so careless with you.” He said with so much conviction. 

His words made your heart beat wildly and your insides melt. You were so affected by him, it was getting hard to keep yourself together in his presence. He was overwhelming in the best way and you wanted to feel completely immersed in the energy that he exuded. The attraction that was brewing between the two of you was reaching its boiling point. It was getting hard to ignore the signals of desire that your body had been giving off since you started hanging out earlier. But now, the subtlety was gone…your pupils were blown wide, his were as well. You were running hot all over, but particularly between your legs, you were so wet for Harry, you were certain that your panties were an absolutely sticky mess at the crotch.

“I think I-uh…sh-should ummm…get inside.” You stumbled on such simple words because you were trying so hard to just behave for another few seconds.

“Yeah.” He agreed, but neither of your were letting each other go. “Did you find your room key?” He asked and you nodded.

“S’in my purse.” You assured and he nodded and reluctantly let you go.

“Good.” He smiled as you dug back into your little bag and retrieved it to show him, “Alright, in you go.” He said softly and you turned around and slid the key into the slot, waiting for it to turn green so that you could turn the handle. He was quick to step forward and help you push the heavy door open.

“Thank you.” You hummed as you stepped past the threshold and turned to face him again, “Thank you for literally everything. The drinks, the laughs, the ride, the chat…” you smiled at him and he returned the friendly gesture.

“It was my pleasure.” He assured you.

“I had a lot of fun tonight.” You smiled.

“Me too.” He confirmed, still standing at the door. Neither of you made a move to retreat.

“Ummm, can I…hug you?” You asked through a timid giggle and his dimples carved deep into his cheeks.

“Of course you can.” He said and you were quick to pull the latching lock out so that the door wouldn’t shut on you when he let it go. 

You were going to hug around his body, but he hunched down at bit so you could reach him better, which resulted in your arms draping over his shoulders. Harry’s arms then naturally wrapped around your waist and as you closed the gap between your bodies you relaxed into his hold for a few seconds, leaning your head against his. He smelled divine, you were tempted to take a big inhale of him but decided against it almost instantly. 

You initiated the pull back and your hands rested on his shoulders, your noses nearly brushing from how close you were. You started to close the gap as your eyes fluttered down to his lips and he nudged your face to the side a bit, allowing him to fit his face better against yours. "What am I doing?" Was the last thought you had before your eyes fluttered closed and your lips met his in a sensual kiss. You two pulled back almost instantly, lust and longing clouding your minds to a dangerous degree. But before you could decide against it, you tugged at the collar of his shirt as your lips smeared together urgently once again. One of his arms remained around your body as the other pushed the room door open until you were both shrouded in darkness. He blindly flipped back the latch and as soon as the heavy door closed your body was up against it as his hands found your face and held you in place as your kiss started to deepen.

You hadn’t been fucked in at least four months by that point and with the attraction that you felt towards Harry, you didn’t care that you were married. After all, Cal had already tainted the marriage with his own affair… with this in mind you just gave in. You licked into his mouth and he ended up moaning before he shoved his tongue past your lips. You guided his hands to the parts of your body that craved that long missed masculine touch. His hands felt bigger than Caleb’s and he was groping at your bottom the second you guided his hands there. He stayed there for a few minutes as you kissed heatedly, but soon he started to slide his hands up your body. He was intentional as he felt and familiarized himself with the curves and dips of your body. Your skin was tingling from his attention and buzzing in anticipation of where his curious hands would travel to next. You immediately got dizzy when his right hand landed over your neck and started to tighten a bit around your throat. 

“Harder.” You begged breathily and he sighed in relief before squeezing harder against the sides as you kissed sloppily.

You felt him trying to nudge your legs apart with his knee so you parted them and as he pressed closer you whined when you felt his thigh nudged against your center just a bit. You needed more though, you were greedy for it and ground down against him and he flexed his quad, the bulge of his muscle created a surface of better friction for you and you moaned as you started to go faster. You immediately felt the turning up of his lips as he smirked, more than glad that you were so eager for it. 

“Better?” He asked and you nodded, “Good. Get what you need, Y/N.” He hummed before he pressed his forehead to yours. Your pants and soft moans were heating up the minimal space between your faces but he seemed to be enjoying this as much as you were. You were clinging to his shoulders for dear life as you humped at his thigh to your heart’s content and Harry would have it no other way. 

Harry only wanted one thing and that was to get you off as many times as were physically possible. You deserved the world on a silver platter and he was determined to give you whatever you would let him tonight. How could anyone in their right mind neglect someone as gorgeous, smart, and extraordinary as you? He didn’t get it…how anyone could neglect your body or choose another’s…that’s why any guilt he felt about this immediately evaporated. His other hand was securely latched at your waist, keeping you steady as you used him to get off. He wanted you to do whatever you wanted, whatever you needed to feel good.

You were so determined! You wanted to come so badly and were doing everything in your power to cling to that little spark of pleasure that would shoot down your legs and make you shudder each time your clit rubbed against his thigh. The slick mess in your panties caused the glide to be smoother and so you started grinding with more intention until your jaw was dropping open as you moaned in celebration of your impending orgasm.

“I’m- oh, I’m coming!” You got out as you lost your rhythm and fell forward into his chest and Harry’s hands went to your hips. You continued grinding wildly to draw out the pleasure of your orgasm as much as possible. Harry was encouraging you with his words while his strong body kept you steady as your legs grew weary from the orgasm that had just taken you out. Your ragged breathing and the pulsing of your pussy were synced with the beating of your heart, you swore he could hear it as well and you tried to straighten up.

“S’alright, I’ve got you. Holding you nice and tight, just take some deep breaths, baby.” He said cooly as you tried to recover.

As the seconds passed your inhales finally became deeper and you were able to relax into Harry’s hold. He was patient, waiting for you to make a move to regain your strength.

“Jeez, I haven’t come like that since I was a teenager.” You confessed through a giggle and he chuckled.

“Is that a good or bad thing?” He asked and you glanced up at him.

“I’m not sure…I just hadn’t been so turned on that I was able to.” You said and he grinned.

“Are you saying I turn you on more than your husband?” He asked haughtily, a satisfied glint in his eyes.

“No, no, no…Don’t do that to me.” You responded through a nervous laugh and he chuckled.

“You’re right, that was low. Sorry.” He apologized and you smiled.

“It’s alright.” You assured him, he could still see the lust glazing over your gaze. “Can I return the favor though?” You asked him, more than ready to do your best for him.

“Can I make you come again first?” He asked and your eyes widened a bit.

“Again?” you questioned him and he nodded.

“Yes, again.” He said as he started walking you back deeper into the room, “And again, and again, and again until your poor, little pussy can’t take anymore.” He said before kissing you deeply. You moaned at his dirty words and gasped when the backs of your legs were met with the edge of bed. You fell back and he climbed over you, still kissing you fervently.

His big hands slid up your thighs, helping you part them around his body so that he could get even closer still and the moment you felt the seizable bulge in his pants pressing near your center you felt an impatience to feel and see what he had to offer you. Of course, his company was lovely, but you were absolutely touch starved and in dire need of a good fucking. Your hands slid back to his firm bottom and you pressed him deeper against you still. His grin broke the kiss and you opened your eyes to meet his playful gaze.

“Cheeky little thing.” He smiled and you only offered a shrug to excuse your handsiness. "Are you still okay with this?” He asked you and you bit your lip to suppress the grin that was threatening to take over your face.

“I don’t know but I want it. Need it.” You said and his gaze softened a bit.

“How long’s it been?” He asked you and you sighed.

“Since I’ve been fucked? Four months.” You said and he looked displeased.

“I mean since you’ve come.”

“Since I’ve come? Not by my own devices…?” you said and he chuckled, “I honestly don’t remember.” You confessed and now he just looked flat out offended at this.

“You’re lying…”

“Why would I lie about that?” You giggled.

“And even after that you haven’t cheated?” He asked with a chuckle and you shrugged.

“Well, I am now.” You said and he smiled.

“Well I’m definitely following through on what I said before. Gotta help you make up for lost time.” He smiled and you playful rolled your eyes at him. “Nuh-uh, none of that bratty stuff.” He said to you and you grinned.

“After everything I’ve been through?” You asked and he grinned.

“Pulling that card are you?”

“Of course.” You smiled and he bit down on his lip, “What?” You asked him.

“You’re just so fucking pretty.” He said, voice soft and sweet.

“Ummm, thanks.” You responded softly. You suddenly felt so small beneath him.

“Yeah, of course.” His smirk was giving you butterflies. His hand started trailing up your thigh, making its way to your center. When he finally reached your panties he did his best to contain his amusement at just how wet you were for him. “Shit.” He whispered lowly as his eyes met yours.

“I know…” you giggled, “M’so wet for you.” You whispered back and immediately wriggled a bit when you felt him slide the material to the side and soon the warmth of his fingers were making direct contact with your slit. 

“Say it again.” Harry asked, his lips tickling against yours as he made his request.

“I’m so wet for you, Harry.” You said again, practically tingling in anticipation. He could feel your arousal seeping through as he ran his fingers down to where your entrance was. Harry almost moaned at how sopping wet you were, you’d made a proper mess for him and he didn’t even ask before kissing you hard and then sliding down to the ground.

“Harry, what’re you- Oh my god…” You gasped breathily when his thick tongue pushed into your entrance. Your eyes fluttered closed and your fingers buried into his hair as he started to bury his face against you even more, he was nuzzling against you, his nose bumping against your clit a few times before he licked up the entirety of your pussy and then dexterously used it to flick at your clit until your body started to turn to mush, “Oh fuck...that’s so fucking good…” you praised him and when he started to gently suck at you, your vision started to blur and your abs to tense. You would be mortified by how quickly you were building up to an orgasm if everything that he was doing wasn’t distracting you from having a singular thought apart from “Keep sucking”.

He moaned against you as your orgasm starting to take over you. It made you come harder to know that he was enjoying it as much as you were because even as you were withering, he never stopped. He did slow down enough to let you come down from it all but when he’d realized that you’d caught your breath you felt his fingers teasing at your entrance. You parted your legs further, non-verbally communicating to him that you wanted him to finger you. He kissed at your inner thigh and you smiled as you felt him sucking at you.

“Are you-”

“Yeah. S’just for you, for the memories.” He hummed before he sucked a bit more, ensuring that he left a dark hickey and you giggled, but soon your breath was hitching as he laved at your clit as he introduced his index finger first, feeling it out to see what you were able to handle. 

It did feel nice, but you needed more. He wasn’t stingy when you asked for it, instead he rewarded you with his middle finger as well. His hands were so big, so this did make a difference. He was feeling around with his fingers, searching for your spot.

“Just a little bit deeper.” You said as you propped yourself up on your elbows to be able to see him.

“I’m not hurting you?” He asked. His tenderness was making your heart flutter.

“No, I’m alright. Now just curl your fingers into- Oh fuck… r-right there!” You encouraged through a bright smile and he grinned as he watched your head fall back onto the bed. He started to go a bit harder until your legs started to tense up, soon enough they were trembling as your toes curled and you started to come once again. You couldn’t believe how good you felt. Beautiful colors were bursting behind your closed eyelids as you rode the wave of pleasure you had been so fortunate to catch. You could practically hear the blood roaring in between your ears at how hard your heart was beating. And the longer he kept his fingers pumping inside of you the longer your orgasm lasted. You whimpered as your legs shook from yet another orgasm as he expertly prodded his fingers into your g-spot.

“Good girl…come for me.” Harry spurred you on. 

You genuinely felt like you were going to explode because he had found the perfect pleasure point and it’s like you couldn’t be turned off. You felt so much pressure building inside of you, it was making your back arch and your legs shake and your moans to pour incessantly from your mouth, but you couldn’t ask him to stop. It felt too good to put an end to it yet. Fingering had always done wonders for you, but add to that a partner who’s intentional about it, and well your body will do things you never thought it capable of. Again, he’d give you small breaks to help you catch your breath and start up again. Your entire body felt like it was vibrating as he built you up again. Your hips thrusting to try meet his fingers, hoping to feel him deeper as he fucked you with them and used his mouth to lick and slurp at your clit until your body was going limp once again as you came. This time there were no colors, just white as your ears rang.

But then you gasped as he pushed himself to stand, his body loomed over yours and a he gave you mischievous grin before he started pounding his long, thick fingers inside harder and faster than before, never failing to miss the spot you showed him. And as his dark eyes met yours with a hungry gaze you felt completely lost. You could feel your poor little pussy throbbing as he started to work you up to the summit of pleasure again, but this time it felt even bigger than before. You had that pins and needles feeling tickling up your legs and to your core, but it felt like it was coming from the inside. Fighting to get out. 

“Gonna come again. I can feel it.” He said lowly. The deep tones of his voice settled over you like the warmest hints of sunlight, making you feel toasty from the inside out. 

“It feels…fuck, it feels like so much.” You whimpered.

“I know, baby. You’re gonna squirt for me, aren’t you?” He asked and you nodded furiously at the insane pressure threatening to just explode, “Come on then, give it to me. Show me how good it feels, Y/N.” He hummed with a subtle arrogance that you swore was the thing that did you in or maybe it was that he suddenly started to rub your clit with his thumb. Your head fell back into the mattress and your back arched for a few seconds before the fireworks took over. You couldn’t contain your moans and cries as you felt yourself quite literally exploding with your orgasm. He held one of your legs open with his free hand, taking in as your writhed in pleasure, gushing cum for him. He started to slow down, but you had so much more. It’s like a part of you that had been repressed was finally free.

“D-don’t stop! Not yet! I-I need more!” You begged breathily.

“How about I fuck the rest out of you?” He asked instead as his fingers slowed down and rubbed into that spot. You immediately nodded and he was quick to lean over you and attach your lips together. 

You helped each other get undressed and then he fetched a condom from his wallet before texting his driver to dismiss him for the night. In the meantime you made yourself useful and grabbed two towels from the bathroom to put under you. Already you felt wobbly on your legs and Harry was more than pleased. You watched with a salivating mouth as he rolled the condom down his long and deliciously thick shaft. He stroked himself a few times and it made your walls flutter in excitement. 

“Grab a pillow for me, please?” He asked you nodded and reached back, blindly feeling around until your fingers grazed the corner of one and pulled it down, “Thank you. Hips up for me.” He said softly and you did as he directed. You’d heard of this before, never really certain of whether this worked or not, but you guessed you were about to find out. He tucked it beneath you, asking a few times if it was comfortable for you until it was positioned just right.

And from one moment to the next the reality of this situation dawned on you and your excitement turned into hesitation. You were suddenly anxious about this…were you really about to cheat on Caleb? Your husband. With his boss? It just felt like the most surreal situation and when you finally got out of your head Harry was looking at you with a tenderness in his eyes.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” He said and you swallowed thickly,  “I’m sorry if I…caused a lapse in judgement or-” he was cut off as you tugged him down by the neck and kissed his lips with so much need. You didn’t want him to feel bad for this. This total stranger, basically, had shown you more attention and kindness than your own husband had in ages. And you talked yourself out of believing that this was for revenge on Cal. No, this was for you. You wanted it, you needed it desperately. Even more so as you felt the tip of his cock tickling at your labia as he hovered over your body. His hands were securely on your hips. But you parted your legs further, to let him rest against your entrance.

“You sure?” His question was mumbled against your mouth and you nodded.

“Yes. I’m sure.” You reassured him of your decision. “I’m just…nervous.” You confessed. “Like…I never thought I would be in this situation.” you said through a breathy giggle.

“Yeah, this is definitely a unique situation.” He agreed with a smile on his lips.

“I guess I just need you to know that…like I’m not a bad person.” She said and he shook his head.

“I don’t think that you are, Y/N.” He assured, “I think that you’re fun, smart, sweet, strong, and beautiful…or at least from what I’ve seen.” He said softly, “If anything I’m the bad person for…not giving a fuck that you’re married.” He chuckled and you did as well.

“If it helps I don’t think you’re a bad person either.” You assured him and he smiled before he kissed you again.

“Mmm…you might after I’m done with you. Gonna ruin you for my cock.” He smirked as he started to push inside. 

Your eyes fluttered closed as he started to stretch out your entrance with the thick head. “Fuck you’re tight.” He hummed in delight as he added more pressure with his hips. He was just starting to wonder when the tight ring of muscles would give when they did, and the leaking and sensitive head of his cock was sucked into your delicious little pussy. You moaned together in relief as he surged forward, not able to wait for your to accommodate to his intrusion. He just needed to get in you, it was like he had lost all self-control; forcefully spreading your walls apart with his girth and then finally settling inside of you fully. You whimpered at how deep he was and he shifted his hips a bit, doing his best to find the spot that had you in puddles for him. 

“Oh god…” you sighed in relief when his cock finally found your spot. Your thighs squeezed around his hips to push him in as deep as possible. You swore he was in your stomach and it hurt so good. “Fuck me. Just fuck me, Harry.” You implored and he wasted no time in giving in to your request. 

His thrusts were hard and merciless. It almost felt like with each deep thrust he was knocking the air from your body. You felt drunk and dizzy on his cock as he pounded into your spot so hard that your vision started to blur. Before you even realized it your walls were spasming around his erection and your were writhing around with an unexpected orgasm.

When Harry felt you tighten up he grinned and moaned at the feeling of you coming around him so suddenly. He was mesmerized by the way your tits bounced with each powerful thrust. He was melting for your pretty and whiny sounds of approval and of the sound of his name being uttered and moaned from your lips with so much gratitude. 

“Shit…” he swallowed thickly as his cock slipped out from how wet you were now. He quickly guided himself back inside of you, thrusting in the way you had liked and then started rubbing your clit as well. He chuckled as he felt your legs trembling around his hips as you came yet again. His own legs felt like they were about to give, so he slowed down and wrapped his arms around you before carrying you higher up the bed so that he could kneel on the mattress. “Get on your tummy for me.” He said and you did as you were asked, “Let’s get this under you…there you go.” He said as he placed the pillow back under you and you got the chills when you felt his fingers rubbing against your entrance the up to your bum, rubbing against your much tighter hole. Then you felt the weight of his cock back at your entrance and he slowly pushed inside. You squeezed the comforter in your fists as his cock somehow felt even bigger than it had before. You literally gasped and he moaned as he gave a few testing thrusts before some part of you just opened up and let him bottom out, that one did make you yelp. “Alright?” He asked.

“Yes, it’s just so fucking big.” You mumbled into the bedding and he grinned.

“Yeah it is, but you’re taking it all so well.” He assured you as he started to grind into you and your were paralyzed. "Fuck baby, take all of me." he grunted in time with his thrusts. He was right up against your favorite spot this way and it was making you feel loopy as it was stimulated over and over and over again. He wasn’t even going hard, he was just focusing all of his efforts into getting that spot and well, he seemed to be enjoying it too as he moaned and groaned above you. “Fuck you feel so good…you’re so fucking good.” He moaned with a satisfied smile.

You had never come vaginally as much as you had tonight and these orgasms were different than the clitoral ones you typically had. These orgasms felt bigger and like it was taking your whole body to achieve them. Your mind was blanking every single time…and this one was going to be the end of you, you were sure. You could feel yourself throbbing around his cock hard. He started to gyrate his hips and you literally gasped.

“There? Is that it?” He asked with a smirk you couldn’t see, but it was evident from his tone.

“Yes, right there! You’re going to make me come!” You warned and he hummed and put more of his weight over you. You welcomed it and your heart nearly beat out of your chest as one of his hands slid up your arms and to your hand. You let his fingers interlace with yours and squeezed as you got closer and closer to your orgasm. It was absolutely overwhelming as you cried out in ecstasy as your orgasm literally crawled up from your toes to the top of your head. Every part of you was hyperaware and feeling tingly as your mind floated freely in gratification. You were covered in goosebumps and your limbs felt like jell-o as he fucked you through it. You were reeling, completely pliant in his arms and as soon as you started to come down from that incredible orgasm he started to thrust into you nice and deep not letting your orgasm end. His thrusts were timed so perfectly, you were trembling and begging him for more, so he gave you more. He went harder and deeper as he shifted to straddle you and fuck you like that. You were basically weeping as he fucked two more orgasms out of you like this, it just felt so good you couldn’t even stop it. Your body was just responding to it and you were so out of sorts.

“One more like this and I’ll give you a break, baby. Just one more, can feel your little pussy squeezing me, throbbing around my big cock.” He said and you moaned, practically drooling on yourself and the bed by now. 

It’s like you had no say over it, you just surrendered to the feelings and let yourself drown in them with no shame or remorse. That last orgasm was earth-shattering. You were vibrating uncontrollably as your ears rang and the tears slipped from your eyes even though they were screwed shut. You were just grunting in time with each hard thrust he delivered into you until your come was gushing and spurting out of you. You were gasping because the intensity of it all made you feel like your were free falling. It was soaking his cock as he moaned and then pressed inside as deep as he could before he came undone, filling the condom with his come but wishing he could’ve just unloaded in that tight, sweet pussy of yours. His hands pushed you deeper into the mattress, making it just a little bit harder to breathe and that somehow made it all the better. When he finished, he relaxed his body he just fell over you, covering you in his warmth. Time felt suspended as you both caught your breaths. You swore that mentally you weren’t all there now and wouldn’t be for a bit. 

“Am I crushing you?” He whispered, this words tickling the shell of your ear and you smiled, eyes still closed because to you, it felt like the room was spinning.

“Yes, but in a good way.” You hummed bad tiredly.

“In a good way…” he repeated lazily through a playful smile.

“Mhmm.” you said and then your smile widened as his fingers found yours and interlaced with yours again. He shifted a bit and you rolled along with him so that you were on your sides now. His cock was still softening up and you were grateful that he wasn’t quick to just pull out and go. As much as you needed a fuck, you also needed the tenderness and affection of another person and he seemed to understand that. You tangled your legs with his and he squeezed your fingers before pulling your closer into his body.

“Was that alright?” He asked softly and you laughed a bit.

“I’m like…mentally on another planet…I feel like I’m floating… so yeah, I’d say that was alright.” You whispered and he laughed a bit.

“Good.” Is all he said. 

When you had come down enough he proceeded to get back between your legs. His tongue and mouth were a lot more gentle this time around and again, he made you come several more times until your body was so sore that you just couldn’t give any more. You sucked him off eagerly and made him come once more before you both passed out. You woke up around 7am when his alarm went off, but instead of seizing the day he fucked you once more, bare, and it was your turn to mark him up. You were so exhausted that you flaked out on breakfast with your friends and didn’t wake up again until just shy of midday.

“Feel free to shower if you need to.”

“Yeah, I think I will.” Harry said lazily as he checked his phone.

“Mmmkay. I’m gonna order something in, do you want anything?” You asked him through a yawn.

“Will we have time?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a late check out.” You assured.

“Oh alright.” He smiled, “What’re you having?”

“Probably some eggs and pancakes and well coffee. I’m quite drained.” You said with a smile.

“I’ll have the same. Eggs over easy though.” He said as he stretched.

“Oh, same!” You smiled as you rolled over to reach the telephone and he hopped in the shower while you place the call.

Thankfully nothing was tense or awkward which you appreciated. Harry didn’t take long, so you were able to get showered as well and had literally just stepped out in your robe when Harry was placing the tray down on the little table in your room. You guys made conversation, he asked about your business and what kinds of events you liked to do, if you were interested in any other ventures. It was very, very normal. You were just waiting for the bubble to be burst by the metaphorical needle that was your reality…that being that you were a married woman who had just cheated on her husband, but it hadn’t come… and whether it did or not, this couldn’t happen again. Maybe when you were out of his presence and left alone with your thoughts, because you liked him way too much to feel anything bad at the moment. You thought it would happen when it came time for him to go, but that wasn’t how your goodbye went at all.

“Umm…before I go I just think we need to…debrief a bit.” He said and you smiled at him.

“Yeah, sure.” You agreed easily.

“I mean…I like you, I think we’re very compatible and like…we just have a connection I think.” He said and you nodded, “And I mean…I can’t say I respect Caleb as a husband and a man after…hearing what he’s put you through, but I still respect him as my employee and obviously what he does outside of work isn’t really my business.” Harry spoke clearly and concisely, but he was looking for any signs of distress from you at this but you were just nodding.

“Yeah, I agree 100%. Like, thank you…for hearing me out and…helping me out, but obviously this is not something that can happen again. And well, I like you too, a lot.” You said and he smiled a bit, “I just don’t want you to walk away thinking that I just used you to get back at him, you know? And I mean…I don’t think us running into each other often will even be an issue. He doesn’t ever want me involved in any of his work stuff.” You said simply and he nodded.

“Right. Well, I did have a great time with you and ummm…I don’t regret it. I hope you don’t either.” He said more meekly and you shook your head.

“Nope, no regrets.” You assured him with a smile, “Thank you though, again for everything. You’re a really wonderful person, Harry.” You said and he smiled bashfully at your compliment. Moments later you were ensuring he had all of his things as you walked him to the door and you guys hugged briefly before he made his way out into the hallway and gave you one final wave before he was gone and disappearing amongst all of the strangers in New York City.

… PRESENT DAY …

As was expected, you hadn’t seen or even heard anything about Harry since then, just like before. But one thing you couldn’t help but notice was that now Caleb was around a lot more. Well, it took a few months after the whole thing with Harry, but it felt like things were going back to how they had been before. You had no idea what had happened between him and his mistress, but it couldn’t have been good because he was suddenly so present and even doting on you like when he was first trying to convince you to go out with him. And on this particular night you were in the middle of doing your skincare routine before bed when Cal came into the en-suite, just in from the office.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He hummed and kissed your cheek in passing.

“Hi, how was your day?” You asked as he undid his tie.

“Really fucking good.” He grinned, “So on Saturday we’re gonna have a celebratory dinner for a deal that we closed. It’s not everyone from work, but a few of the guys. S’nothing official, just those of us who did the grunt work to get this client. Do you have plans?” He asked as he moved on to his shirt now.

“Nope, no plans. Why?” You asked in confusion, as your eyes met through the mirror.

“Obviously I want you to join, sweetheart. If you want to.” He smiled in confirmation.

“Oh, sure!” You said quickly, “I’d love to.” You happily accepted his invitation. 

“Excellent! It’s formal wear, we’re doing a fancy dinner.” He grinned, “So get yourself something nice in the next few days yeah?” He said.

“Oh, ok. Is there like a specific vibe I should go for?” You asked as you turned to him and he came over to you and grabbed your face gently.

“Hmm…” he hummed pensively, “I’d say something sexy, but really classy. S’gonna be the first time you meet my work friends. Wanna show you off, gloat a bit.” He said to you, voice low and sultry.

“Okay…do I have to wear a bra with it?” You asked and he chuckled before kissing your lips deeply. After a few moments he pulled back with a smirk as his thumbs ran over the apples of your cheeks lovingly. 

“Mmmm, I’d prefer you ditch it for the night…but that’s just my opinion.” He grinned and you chuckled, “Probably pack a bag for overnight in case we get a little too wasted, yeah?” He asked and you nodded in confirmation, “Alright sweets, m’gonna hop in the shower.” He said before letting you go.

Needless to say, you were shocked. Hell must’ve been frozen over because Cal never even took you to the office holiday parties! So of course you accepted his invitation before he could take it back. Seeing Harry at this dinner had definitely crossed your mind almost instantly, but from what you knew, he didn’t really socialize with his colleagues outside of work so you got the possibility of seeing him again out of your head. Specially now that it seemed like Cal had made it past whatever midlife crisis he had been suffering. Maybe it was about time that you put the fantasies on the back burner and focused back on your husband. After all it seemed that he was extending an olive branch with this invitation. Making up for lost time and for his distancing from you. And well, in the interest of perhaps seeing Harry again in the future, you wanted to really wow his coworkers and make sure that you scored more invitations to work things.

*********

You had spent your lunch hours for the next few days scouring all the boutiques in your suburb for a dress that made you feel sexy but that wasn’t too slutty or suggestive. Always in the back of your mind asking yourself if Harry would like it, but then bringing yourself down from that hopeful cloud. You had found a dress that you loved and bought it, but despite that, you had walked into one more shop before heading back to your house.

You were looking through the racks when a beautiful magenta fabric caught your eyes and when you pulled it out of the bunch you immediately smiled at the dress it belonged to. It was a halter neck, which you would never typically go for, but you could already envision it on your body. There was a slit and the back had a little cutout that you imagined would serve to draw the gaze to the curve of your lower back and ultimately your bottom. The dress you had just purchased was a lot more understated, it flattered your shape and was definitely a less showy color, but you were practically drooling over this dress. It was gorgeous.

“It’s stunning isn’t it?” The clerk suddenly appeared beside you with a smile.

“Yeah…” you smiled at her.

“Want to try it on?” She asked with an enticing arch in her eyebrow.

“Absolutely.” You responded almost too quickly and she smiled and grabbed it for you and guided you over to the changing room. "Oh my god..." you sighed dreamily.

You were a vision in it. The color just livened you up and made you feel electric, powerful, and sensational. Your previous dress did make you look elegant and beautiful, but gave more of a demure and understated beauty vibe; it was the kind of dress you’d be expected to go for and typically did. But this other dress, it brought out an air of confidence in you, you could see the difference even in how you posed in it. Caleb did say he wanted to show you off…And well, even if you upstaged the evening, your husband had been having an affair for a year and while he seemed to be coming back to you, it couldn’t hurt to remind him of what he had and perhaps it would help to keep repairing the invisible, but tangible, distance that still existed between the two of you.

“I’ll definitely take it.” You said to the clerk with a smile.

After rushing a few streets down, you returned the other dress and then hurried home to your meeting. You’d keep the dress hidden in your closet until Saturday and surprise Cal with it as well.

**********

Cal had been quick to get ready, he didn’t stray too far from his day to day look, he just ditched his tie. You were working on your makeup when he told you that he’d be down in his office when you were ready to go. The dinner was at 7pm and you did have quite a drive according to Caleb, so you hurried to get your look together so that you could get on the road quickly. After spritzing on some setting spray you rushed into your closet and pulled the bag off of your new dress and smiled as soon as you saw it again. You quickly got undressed and slipped into it. You hurried back to the vanity to get a visual to tie the pieces of fabric for the halter top and you were struggling a bit.

“Sweetheart, are you almost-” Caleb’s voice stopped as he just gawked for a moment before he smiled, “Wow.” He said softly as your eyes met though the mirror.

“Yeah? Like it? Is this okay?” You asked timidly and he nodded.

“Yeah. You look great.” He smiled as he came up behind you, “Need some help?”

“Please.” You responded and he aided in getting the ties situated. 

“There you are, my darling. You all packed?” He asked softly and you nodded and allowed him to peck your lips.

“Yeah, my bag’s on the bed.” you said and he smiled.

“Perfect, I’ll take it and go start the car, OK?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” You assured and he went to do that as you wrapped up the final details of getting your shoes on, grabbing your purse, and finally getting on a bit of perfume and tucking a little travel version of it in your bag. You felt like a million bucks for the first time since Harry…and well, it was nice to feel good on your own, not because of another person so this felt so special. Like you were reclaiming yourself in a way. And so with that feeling of confidence making you glow you grabbed the bottle of wine you’d purchased as a gift and locked up the house before you carefully slipped into Cal’s Quattroporte, it was his baby and he’d take it out anytime he was feeling on top of the world. You hoped that you had something to do with it for now. 

The GPS indicated that you guys were heading down towards the Hamptons, which was a bit over an hour drive. Cal was conversing with you about your work and clients, which was kind of odd. He never really cared much for your event planning business apart from giving you the start up money. But you soon realized that he was nervous because he was incessantly tapping at the steering wheel and clearly, he was talking with you to keep his mind off of whatever was making him feel this way. You wondered if it was the fact that this was going to be your first time meeting his work friends? You knew that he always tried to create boxes to compartmentalize his life and merging them could sometime be nerve-racking. Instead of letting it trip you up and darken all of the light and positive feelings your were having over this invitation, you decided to just focus on how good you felt.

“Sweetheart, we’re almost there.” Cal’s voice and his firm squeeze to your knee roused you from your slumber. You yawned and rolled your shoulders back.

“Sorry, didn’t realize I fell asleep.” You spoke a bit groggily and he smiled at you. 

“God, did you guys rent out the biggest Airbnb?” You asked as you looked out the window. You were driving down the line of mansions by the coast.

“No. Didn’t spend a dime on this getaway thankfully.” He chuckled, “We’re going to the CEO’s vacation home.” He explained and you quickly turned to him.

“The CEO rents out his vacation home in the Hamptons to his employees?” You asked him incredulously, Harry seemed way too Type A for something like that.

“No, sweetheart. Of course not.” He scoffed through a laugh, “He’s the one throwing the party for us.” He explained and your stomach literally turned and you swore you were about to start sweating cold.

“So w-we’re sleeping at your boss’ house? You said it was work friends!” You said to him with panic in your eyes.

“Did I not mention that?” He asked and you shook your head, still in disbelief, “Oh, well either way, Harry’s from work and I mean, we’re not really friends or anything yet, but we’re friendly.” He explained, “And well, considering I just made him half a million dollars richer this week alone I’d say we’re about to get a lot more chummy.” He explained with a cocky grin.

“Cal, my tits are out! No one’s gonna take me seriously now…oh god.” You mumbled lowly and he chuckled.

“It’s alright, s’not like this is an official work event.” He assured you. 

But suddenly you didn’t feel so hot in your dress. You didn’t want Harry to think that you wore this dress as soon as you heard it was at his place to impress him or to try and seduce him after you had both agreed that it was a one time thing. Yes, he was hot and you had played with the idea at first, but that’s all it was! An idea. A fantasy that you could keep playing at in your mind but had no intention of following through with. You didn’t seek each other out because you both knew that what had transpired between the two of you so many months ago had been a sort of lapse in judgement that you both just indulged in to do some justice to whatever had been in the air and sparking between you two that entire night. You weren’t a cheater like Cal and you weren’t interested in jeopardizing your marriage because for the last couple of months it felt like you were on the mend and you didn’t want anything to get in the way of that.

“All your coworkers are going to think I’m a whore.” You said with slight irritation and Cal scoffed.

“They will not. You should see some of the women they bring around…”

“I don’t even want to know what that means.” You mumbled lowly. “I just don’t want to make a bad impression or give anyone the wrong idea about…us. You know how people are already and-” 

“You worry too much about what other people think, sweetheart. Who cares? If I cared what everyone said or thought I wouldn’t have you, would I?” He asked you with a small smile and well, the fact that his tenderness did nothing to your heart was a bad sign, “I mean, what’s the point of living life if you’re not going to have fun and take risks? You took a fucking risk, sweetheart! And I’d say it payed off.” He grinned at you and you shook your head before looking away to avoid him from seeing you smile at his compliment, “Hey, don’t turn away, look at me, sweets.” He insisted as he squeezed your knee again and you reluctantly turned back to him, “It’s going to be fine. They’re gonna love you.” He assured you and you just exhaled slowly and nodded, forcing a smile onto your face.

Finally, you were pulling up through a large iron gate and following the path down to the entrance of the home. There was a parking attendant that signaled for Cal to pull into one of the lines that had been drawn out for a parking space. Thankfully, there were already other cars there, so you wouldn’t be alone with him and Harry until more guests arrived. As soon as Cal parked the car someone was opening up your door to help you out, it was all very extravagant. You wondered if Harry always had this level of service or if it was just because he had guests tonight.

“Thank you.” You smiled as the man extended his hand and helped you down form the vehicle.

“Certainly. Do you have any bags you’d like us to put in the guest room?”

“Oh sure, they’re in the trunk.” You informed him and he smiled and hurried on to the back. You shot Cal a look and he looked just as surprised at this level of attention and service. 

Cal did offer to help carry the bags, but the man insisted he would do it as he led them over to the entrance of the home. There, someone else was waiting and took over for the man that had helped at the car.

“Good evening, Mr. Hargrove.” The man greeted Caleb with a nice smile before slightly glancing to you, “And who-”

“Gerard, this is my lovely wife, Y/N.” He said with a bit of emphasis which was odd, specially when Gerard’s eyes widened a bit in surprise. It shouldn’t have been too much of a shock to her…Harry himself had said that he had no idea Caleb was married.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Hargrove.” Gerard smiled and well, you hadn't actually changed your surname, but you didn't have the heart to correct Gerard. He looked to be a sweet man a already had been thrown for a loop just knowing that you were Caleb's wife.

“Pleasure to meet you, just Y/N is fine though.” You assured with a friendly smile and he nodded once.

“Well, I can escort you to the room you’ll be staying in before guiding you to the dining area?”

“Please, that would be great. I’d like to freshen up a bit”, “That won’t be necessary, just tell me which room.” You and Caleb spoke at the same time and then chuckled.

“Umm, you can go head, honey. I just want to freshen up and use the bathroom before we start drinking. I’ll meet you over there.” You assured him.

“Are you certain?”

“Yeah, of course. Go celebrate with everyone.” You insisted and he smiled and grabbed your face gently before kissing your lips quickly.

“Thanks, sweetheart. See you in a bit.” He assured and you nodded.

“Alright, let me show you to your bedroom.” Gerard said and then he got a bit awkward when you were alone as he guided you down a hallway.

“Ummm Gerard?”

“Yes, miss?”

“You don’t have to be weird around me. I expected that Cal had been here before with another person. Or persons…” you explained as you kept walking.

“Right. Well I’m sorry for making you feel odd, I just had no idea Mr. Hargrove had been married recently.” He said and your smile faltered a bit.

“Umm…it’s been seven years actually.” You said as he stopped in front of a door and turned around quickly with a concerned look on his face. “Ummm, have you worked for Mr. Styles for long?” You asked and he nodded.

“About 15 years.” He stated.

“And Caleb has…stayed here with other women how many times?” You asked him.

“I don’t know that I should-”

“I’m not going to cause a scene, I assure you. I just…I need to figure out if there’s anything worth salvaging after the most recent affair. It’s the only one I found out about.” You explained and he looked sad for you.

“I wish I could tell you for certain, but since he started working for Mr. Styles I uh- I’m really not sure, but there’s been a few. I’m sorry.” He said and you sighed.

“Alright, well thanks anyway. Is this it?”

“Yes, this is the room.” He said as he opened it up and let you in. He came in behind you and set your bags down on the large bed. “You have your own bathroom through here. If you need anything ironed or steamed for tomorrow feel free to just leave it hung up on one of these hooks and we’ll take care of it while you’re at dinner.” He assured.

“Thank you so much, this is gorgeous.”

“Of course, Miss. Anything else?”

“Obviously you’re quite busy, how would I find the dining area after I’m done?” You asked and he quickly explained and you nodded, keeping his directions fresh in your mind before you scurried into the bathroom.

You closed the door behind you and then turned around to look at yourself in the mirror. You took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as all of the information that Gerard had shared with you started to sink in. You started to wonder how long ago the cheating had started…maybe it was before you had even been married. The only good thing that could come of this dinner was seeing Harry again. And well, you knew that he probably wouldn’t even speak to you too much, but at the very least you could just steal discreet glances of him and forget about the fact that your marriage was basically a farce. But that wasn't all Caleb's fault, after all you had also slept with someone else. With his fucking boss of all people. But god, you would do it again if he wanted to...

***********

Caleb was glad that you had headed off to check out the room and freshen up. He had been so in his head about so much that Gerard almost tipped you off about his affairs. He had always been a man who wanted the best, who wanted more…and well when he got you he was shocked that he had managed it. You were everything he had ever wanted in a partner and throw in the fact that you weren’t just after his money, well he snatched you up right away lest he lose you to someone else. It’s not that he wasn’t happy with you and everything you had together, but sometimes he just needed to switch it up, he had always been like that so he never advertised that he was married. And while usually his extramarital affairs were limited to single events for work, things started to change when he met Daniela. Daniela wasn’t as ambitious or entrepreneurial as you were. In fact, she was a midlevel employee and seemed happy in her position. But she was about your age, if not a year or two younger, and yes she was smart and gorgeous in her own way, but she never made an effort to stand out all that much, but she was so good at what she did that she naturally stood out.

He met Daniela two years ago when he was told that she was the most reliable statistical analytics person they had. So he started to go to her to double check all his numbers, a second pair of eyes could never hurt when it came to numbers! But he soon found it helpful to also run all of the data he had for presentations to clients and other board members by her. Daniela was sweet and soft spoken and a bit shy while Cal was a people person. So what started out as him just doing nice things to get on her good side so that she would keep helping him, soon turned into gestures designed to increase their interactions because he liked her. His acts of kindness became motivated by these deeper feelings that he himself couldn’t understand at first because she was the opposite of everything he ever really went for, but they were there. Daniela had started to like his attention and thoughtfulness and so they started to have lunch together often or to get coffee together and the attraction grew.

All of this wooing reached it’s culmination after a Thanksgiving party a coworker threw. Caleb offered to walk Dani to her car and they ended up kissing. And after that they continued to see each other outside of work and Cal started to fall for her. He had pulled her into his project with this new client, so that they could spend more time together but also to get her on Harry’s radar because she was absolutely brilliant. But he had fucked it up; upon realizing the depth of his feelings for Daniela he decided to start writing out some talking points to talk to you about his growing feelings for her and brainstorm how to bring up the topic of a divorce to you. But Dani had no idea he was married, so when she saw that notes on his phone she got angry and broke things off with him. And here he was, months later, still heart broken and longing for Daniela.

“You look beautiful.” Caleb spoke softly as he came up to the bar beside Daniela. She sighed as she recognized his voice.

“What do you want, Caleb?” She asked lowly.

“Just to talk and explain. I want to fix us-”

“There is no more us, Caleb. You’re married and I have a boyfriend now so get over it.” She stated firmly and he sighed.

“Please just…I’m going to end it with her-”

“Caleb, please not tonight.”

“Does that mean we can talk soon?” He asked hopefully and she sighed.

“I don’t know, Cal…I’m just processing all of the lies…I just don’t trust you right now.”

“OK, I understand. I’ll just…give you some space.” He said and she nodded, “I ummm…I want to warn you that I did bring her with me tonight. I stupidly wanted to make you jealous-”

“Jesus, Cal..." she sighed feeling the anxiety starting to churn up her stomach, "Just…keep it together because I don’t want anyone to be suspicious and think I’m a home wrecker.”

“No one even knows I’m married. I like to keep the personal things private. So everyone will be meeting her tonight and learning about...my marital status so-”

“Well I don’t want to meet her. I couldn’t, it's humiliating…” she said lowly and he nodded.

“OK. I won’t introduce you.” He said and she swallowed down that awful feeling of disgust in herself, “I’m really sorry, Dani. For everything.” He said quietly as the bartender came back with her two drinks.

“Thank you.”  She smiled to the bar tender and hurried off without acknowledging his apology…again.

“Anything for you sir?” He asked and Caleb sighed.

“Ummm, not right now. Thank you.” He assured and turned around only to see Daniela smiling at the man she had brought with her tonight. 

He looked about her age and was quite bulky and strong, very handsome. Caleb couldn’t help but feel insecure as she watched him being introduced to some of the others that approached her. This wasn’t a big group, just about 10 of them or so, but with the plus ones, the group was a bit larger and well, hopefully he could sit somewhere where he could keep an eye on her. He felt his heart lurching in defeat as her boyfriend tucked her hair behind her ear in a delicate motion, she had this piece from her outgrown bangs that really defied her new hair part. He’d done the same thing to her plenty of times before and he wished he could be the one to do it for her now. 

Caleb had really tried to smooth things over with Daniela at the very least but she felt so betrayed. Understandably so, and she made it clear to him that she wasn’t ready to forgive him and that she intended to move on with someone else and it hurt that she seemed to be fairing well. Caleb had tried to move on too, to focus back on you and your marriage…hopefully being around you more would reignite the love he once had for you, but it wasn’t happening, he was too far gone.

He was running out of lifelines to salvage his chances with Dani. Earlier in the week, when Tamika (Harry’s assistant/intern) mentioned to him casually that she was excited to meet Daniela’s boyfriend at Harry’s dinner Cal felt his heart darken with anger. And in his anger he decide that he wanted to make Daniela jealous back, which is why he invited you, his wife to this dinner… all to make his mistress jealous. He knew that this was fucked up and unfair to you, but he was in love and he was desperate to get Daniela back however he could and she would be his again tonight. He had no idea how to proceed, but he was certain of one thing, whatever he did to get Dani back had to be done with courage, all the love in his heart, and most important of all, with discretion.

READ PART 2!

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Let me know if you have feedback or want to be added:)

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Omg hey I woul like to request something ! Ken x Reader (male, if possible) where the reader teaches Ken about the real world and they're also very in love. Thank you very much !

When Ken returned to the Real World again, he had a vision similar to Barbie's--realizing his owner was nearby.

Instead of a child....it's you, an adult who (like Gloria) inadvertently projected your own insecurities onto him while looking at an unboxed Beach Ken doll in your attic.

When you were younger, you really wanted to play with it unlike other boys who had action figures and nerf guns...but you were sorta shamed into keeping it boxed, as your parents said it would be more "valuable" one day.

Similarly..Ken had been stuck in a box all his life, trapped in the role of Barbie's accessory until recently.

So there's an instant connection when you two meet.

To make a long story short, you're like "ohhh hey I guess I kinda fucked up your mental stability, bro...you wanna come over and we can talk about it, man-to-man?"

He was very eager to go with you and learn more about your world beyond all the patriarchy and toxic masculinity.

You tell him about using your "male privilege" for good, and one defining example was when a random woman taps him on the shoulder, looking terrified and almost in tears.

"H-Hi, um..this is gonna sound really awkward but can you two pretend to be my friends for a second? This guy has been following me-"

"Of course." You reassure her, before looking to the confused Ken and telling him to go along with it.

The creepy guy comes along and backs off when he sees you two standing there protecting this lady, and once he's gone, she thanks you with hugs before leaving.

"I think I did a good job." Ken turns to you for validation, eyes shimmering. "Was that good, [y/n]? I mean playing pretend is all I've ever done so-"

"Yep. You did great." You chuckle, patting his shoulder. "I'm glad she thought you were a safe person to approach."

He nods and is giddy the whole way back home, especially when you get into your car and show him the different mechanisms, with him clinging to every detail.

These life lessons you're teaching him, however, made him think back to the "Kendom"...and he admits to trying to reinvent patriarchy there and feels ashamed of how he treated the Barbies.

He didn't think he'd open up this quickly to you, considering he never had any "manly" talks with other Kens (besides beach-offs).

But besides you being his owner, there's something about you that just made him feel...secure enough to do so. Like he could tell you anything.

You listen and reassure him that acknowledging his mistakes was a great first step to unlearning those toxic mindsets.

With all of that finally hashed out, you decide to show him the simple pleasures of the real world. Like cooking, watching TV, playing video games, etc.

Just mundane things you regularly do, with Ken picking up on some of your habits/routines as well as having some independence of his own.

You two grow closer as a result over the next few weeks, and you began falling for him and his humor and his charming smiles-

Yeah, you're 100% smitten for this doll who crossed worlds to meet you.

But you're not sure if he felt (or even could feel) the same way, since he was made to love Barbie and was...clearly still getting over his "breakup" with her. So you left it be.

That changes when you show him some emotional movie where the lead male characters showed vulnerability (ie Good Will Hunting or Brokeback Mountain) and he unconsciously holds your hand as he stares at the screen, tears staining his cheeks.

While the credits roll, your heart melts as he looks at you with those pretty blue eyes, his watery smile persistent.

"Th-Thanks for showing me this, [y/n].."

"Of course, Ken. Now you know that us guys don't always have to pretend to be tough. We're allowed to have feelings." You rub your thumb across his knuckles, a sweet gesture which makes him blush.

On the subject of feelings, he realizes that the ones he has for you are...leaning more into romance than "bromance" (yeah you taught him that term and it's part of his vocabulary now).

He becomes uncharacteristically quiet when you ask him what's on his mind, before he leans in to kiss you on the cheek. Purely on impulse.

You're both flustered at what happened, yet he panics internally when you don't say anything, trying to get up to leave so you didn't see him cry over the stupid decision he made-

"Ken, it's okay." You take his hands, convincing him to sit back down. "I had no idea you swung that way, but I'm...actually glad."

"Glad? Y-You're not...mad or anything?" He sniffles.

"Of course not. I....was planning to come out of the closet sooner or later. I just didn't know when or how to bring it up, but....I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore, thank god."

"So...does this makes us boyfriend and g....boyfriend?"

"If you want it to be, sure. I wouldn't mind a handsome doll being the love of my life." You wink.

Ken mirrors your smile, relieved to know you reciprocated his feelings.

Then he gets stumped on something and his eyebrows furrow.

"Wait...what closet were you talking about?"

Oh boy.

You just chuckle and give him a kiss on the lips.

Falling in love with a Ken doll from Barbieland certainly wasn't on your bucket list....

But you're perfectly content with that.

[ecoamerica]

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[ashe-studies]

things i wish the sonic franchise brought back or implement.

.

Dark Sonic

seriously, i love imagining a fight between Dark Sonic and Eggman inspired by Korra vs. Zaheer ( when she was poisoned ). where he loses the cool attitude, the smile, everything, and goes in with full power, charging himself left and right at Eggman. it'd be even more fascinating to still have Dark Sonic lose. not because of his lack of power, not because of lack of skill, even when blinded by rage, but because of Eggman's ingenuity.

a lot of people, to this day, misinterpret Dark Sonic as a murderous, rampaging monster, but that completely misses the purpose of why he exists to begin with. i believe this is a case of people not exactly knowing where he comes from, or just a lot of fans drawing a murderous Sonic and it took the internet by storm one day, but just in case you don't know:

Dark Sonic is from Sonic X, a TV show that is sort of an expansion on Sonic Adventure 2, adding more lore, character arcs, and overall meaning to the game's original plot. Dark Sonic was revealed in the episode "Teasing Time" in s3, and the reason he appeared is because he discovered his friends ( Cosmo and Chris ) were injured and that one of them ( Chris ) was unconscious.

the whole reason this form exists is Sonic's love for his friends essentially fueling his rage. it's like Darkspine Sonic from SATSR, or has similar formula. Dark Sonic isn't inspired by any bloodlust or desire to kill, but rather by burning anger at seeing his friends be put in harm's way.

Dark Sonic is made from the strong desire to protect his friends.

2. An Actual Arc For Shadow

you guys might be confused, especially if you consider some of my previous posts, but lemme explain.

for a long time, it's never felt like Shadow has actually recovered from his trauma, atone for his actions ( yes, i understand he saved Earth ), or live life really at all. it doesn't help that, to this day, SEGA continues to make Shadow relive the past.

i don't consider the movies to be a part of the problem, as Shadow being introduced to the plot was basically a given, and you can't introduce him in your own take without his general backstory ( unless you're Boom or Prime, i guess ). i believe the movie will be doing taking some creative liberties to his story, as they did so with Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles, and i see no reason that they should stop.

the reason why i have an issue with this is because it's an ongoing issue within the games, specifically. Shadow the Hedgehog ( 2005 ) was a disservice to his setup and the 'first arc' ( considering he's still alive after the fans demanded his return ) to his story.

aside from it just giving 'early 2010s deviantart edge', it's just so...

childishly handled.

for one, you're immediately given a Hero or Dark route, like in SA2, which i feel completely misses the point of SA2's true ending. Shadow has redeemed himself ( or began to ), so to give him complete reign to just become an antagonist all over again defeats the whole purpose of a redemption.

it's like what Prime did with Dread, giving him an already established redemption arc ( sort of ), but then corrupting him again for no real reason other than just because.

another issue i have is Shadow's amnesia and attitude in general within the game. technically speaking, yes, it does make sense for him to suffer memory and // or physical issues from his fall from space, but to completely wipe out every single thing he did just to give him the opportunity to relearn his past, do some fucked up shit, do some less fucked up shit, then throw away everything in the past, Maria and her wish included, is...

amazingly obtuse, for lack of a better word.

again, while it's technically not out of bounds, i feel like giving Shadow complete and total amnesia just disrespects SA2's vision and execution of the story. it's redundant, it's lazy, and overall just really damn frustrating to watch.

Shadow deserves to have a story that allows him to heal from his trauma, discover who he is, and respecting Maria's wish along the way. a lot of people seem to think it's either he forgets about his past ( or buries it ) or full-on dedicates his entire life and doesn't bother picking up a life lesson or two, but it doesn't have to be that way.

Shadow can heal, grow, and change. SEGA just won't let him.

3. The Echidna Tribe & Knuckles' Story

Knuckles is one of my favorite characters in the entire franchise as a whole, but his character and story is sorely dismissed. while Shadow has the issue of repetition, Knuckles suffers from being dropped on the head multiple times and played for a joke ( i think Frontiers is one of the more recent games that didn't do this, but i might be wrong ).

one of the reasons why i love Knuckles is how straightforward, yet reluctant he was about finding out his past. at the end of Sonic Adventure 1, he says something to the extent of:

"maybe i'm better off not knowing the meaning behind all of this. because i feel something terrible will happen if i do."

he is content being ignorant for the sake of his own peace of mind.

but in SA2, he's more or less forced to start facing his fear and learn more about the past. unfortunately, though, we don't actually get to see much after this game, because the tribe is almost entirely forgotten. instead, it's brought up in comics that are more or less canon ( i think ), but not fully aligning with the games. i think it's safe to say the comics are their own canon?

like with Shadow, i would've loved to see an actual conclusion on this arc of Knuckles' story. to see more of the tribe in the past, of their wrongdoings, character moments, more of Tikal or Chaos or the little Chao, and how it all ties together.

but instead, we have lots of media repeatedly insulting Knuckles' intelligence, ignoring his tribe and // or his job entirely ( i guess they forget the Master Emerald is portable? ), and just generally dumbing him down to be a hotheaded moron that apparently doesn't care about being the Guardian!

Knuckles is one of the most relatable characters in this series for me, as there's a lot of things i would rather not know and stay ignorant to, but have to face head on in order to fully move past it and grow to be better.

he was completely isolated on Angel Island for so long, yet people still make fun of him to this day for being manipulated by Eggman in SA1 ( even though he didn't even fully believe Eggman, it was just a precaution, but who cares about the details- ). he's not just a hothead, he's strong, he's kind, he's pretty blunt and, honestly, really fucking adorable, i love this echidna.

look at him, just standing there. i love him.

anyway, Knuckles deserves a proper story surrounding his tribe, his identity as the Guardian of Angel Island, his relationships, and to have a satisfying conclusion. or, at the very least, more games or media in general not dumbing him down to an angry hothead with nothing better to do but to yell and ignore his responsibilities.

3. Sonic

"what're you talking about, ashe? sonic's meant to be a flat character! what could be wrong with him?"

yeah, but after frontiers, i want more mentally ill sonic that needs to be concerned for by his friends, okay, that's all i want-

4. Storybook Era

now, now, i know a lot of people don't like the storybook games because of their shoddy gameplay and all that, but i genuinely love these games, their flaws included.

i do believe satbk has a better story than satsr, but i still have an attachment to the latter game, so suck it.

it'd be really nice to see a storybook game with switch, xbox, ps, or similar controls. as the era has Sonic diving into different worlds, maybe a world like Alice and Wonderland could be an interesting game. several elements to work with, locations turning into creative levels or even hub worlds. this is sort of a long shot dream that will probably never exist, but i wanna see an adventure-style storybook game one day.

i'll probably die before that idea is even considered, but it's a fun thought and that's all that matters at the end of the day.

there's no real big reason as to why these matter or anything, as i don't believe you need a storybook in order to send off the messages these games try to give, but they're just really charming to me and i love to see how this type of game could be implemented into video games today, with all the new engines and whatnot.

5. Teams

oof, okay, um-

there's a few games that have teams in them, and i guess you can count sonic forces as one of those games, so i should be more specific here.

i like SA1's flexibility with the roulette-like system, where you could play as any character you wished, but i also like SA2's team system, where they all had a close-knit role within the story from a similar perspective ( hero vs. dark ).

SA1 served multiple perspectives, all giving you pieces of the same puzzle that you have to figure out as you go. by the final story, all of the characters ( except Big, but idc, i love him ) have their character arcs and it's with their changes that the story is fully complete.

SA2 served the entirety of two perspectives and merged them together for the final story, heroes and villains having to work together to fight off the greater evil at hand.

overall, i want more games having the characters work together, having different details // information or even moral differences ( it depends on which system they go with, though ) on the situation at large, but maybe still having to come together.

whether or not they use official teams, i want the sonic franchise to bring back using other characters as necessary plot points with their own individual arcs.

it may not be needed, per say, as there's still a few games that work and don't have either of these systems, but i really miss the adventure games and wish for more of their elements to be implemented in future games.

6. CHAO!!!

BRING THESE LITTLE CREATURES BACK, GODDAMN, WHY ONLY TWO GAMES?!

.

anyway, that's all i can currently think of. i think these would serve either character or charm to the franchise, but maybe you have some other ideas of what the games could give! maybe proper returns of characters, other forgotten stories, or even new ideas!

lemme know what you think.

[heartfullofleeches]

Yandere harem (Angel, Demon, Reaper)  x GN! Reader

Word count: 3.9k

Warning for character death, body horror elements, light gore, angst

Parts 1, 2

Predatory eyes emerge from above, talons chipping paint from the doorframe they stood guard at. Fangs protrude from two pairs of lips; soft growl emitting from the demon’s throat in warning. He crouched to near eye level – exhales hot against your cheek as he spoke. 

“I’m getting tired of the mistreatment, Y/n. You may be my master, but even I have my limits.”

Staring into the eyes of the beast, your resolve remains the stronger party. “Not my problem.”

His aggression takes a dial back, but jealous lingers. “Why does he get to go out with you, but I don’t? You like him more than me don’t you.”

“You’re literally a seven feet tall demon.” 

“..So?”

You sigh, ready to give up on the day before it had even really started – a common occurrence in your daily life of living with demon summoned by your own accord, and your guardian angel. This arrangement had been going on for what felt like ages; neither wanting to leave your side and making your life a living nightmare in the process. One possessive and desperate for every ounce your attention, and the other over protective –  yet the more rational of the two. While you figured out a way to get rid of them both, ground rules had to be set in order keep your sanity. 

Alasdair had requested your company on a trip to the nearby shopping center, Baron butting in as third wheel as he always did. The two often competed for your time; neither wanting to let the other spend a single second longer with you alone; Baron being the worse offender in letting his possession show. At this point you were starting to care less since they hardly listened anyway, but the problem came when trying to enforce one of the few rules you had made for him.

Annoyed by his blatant stalking, you gave Baron the condition that he couldn’t leave the house without a mortal form. From the shadows was one of his favorite ways to watch you. Knowing you were the only one that could see him; the rare moment were he missed your eye and just being able to stare. There was no better feeling for him. The presence over your shoulder wasn’t frightening, just annoying when you could feel him basically breathing down your neck.

“We’ve been over this. You can’t creep around in broad daylight even if people can’t see you.”

“Do I have to?.. I’m..shy..” He replies meekly, hoping for a hand at the sympathy card.

“Yes.”

Alasdair flips a page in the magazine nested in his lap, rested on the couch as he waited. “We would even be in the middle of this conversation if you had let me banish him by now.”

You point back at him. “Stay out of this.” He hums in compliance as you address Baron again. “Can you please just change so we can go?”

He thinks for a moment, before finally giving in. In the end, he could never disappoint you. “Fiine. But only because you said please.” 

A cloud of black smoke shrouds his body, horns shrinking down into his skin as locks of hair sprout from his scalp. Full lips appear on his face, claws exchanged for sharp fingernails and pink skin for a peachy tone; black lines tattooed around his torso, legs and biceps. He shrinks slightly in size, yet remains broad; extending his arms to show the full length of his transformation. 

“Tada!”

Only one thought comes to mind as you look at him.

“Why are you naked?”

-

After squeezing the six foot six man into a pair of your clothes, you’re finally ready to leave. Alasdair was still on the couch, eyes clued on the TV and booklet tossed aside. He prided himself in being on time and proper for every event; dressing at the crack of dawn and in his finest attire. You check the time on your phone. A few minutes behind what you guess, but nothing too off.

You walk up to him. “Ready to go?”

His eyes idle on the television for a beat, before he snaps to your attention. “Yes, of course. Though, I’m not quite sure if we should be leaving now.” 

“What changed your mind?”

His gaze shifts back to the television, yours soon to follow. It was turned to a news station; a sky view of a local bank on screen. Several police cars surrounded the building, smoke billowing from its rear.

“It’s about forty minutes away from the center. I fest that-"

Baron cuts him off. “Who cares. I didn’t transform for nothing, let’s go already.”

-

The ride over goes relatively smooth. Alasdair sits calmly at your side while Baron stood over you both; intrigued by his surroundings. He had seen buses before, but had yet to actually get on one himself. The rumble of the engine beneath his feet was too exciting for him to sit down. Alasdair had to keep his hand away from the yellow lines above, else the trip would have been longer than mapped out. Or got you kicked off the bus.

The shopping center was a part of an entrance to a bigger mall, smaller stores lining up to the larger picture at the end of the road.

“What exactly are you here for?” You ask out of the blue.

Alasdair flushes. “It is… somewhat embarrassing to say out loud. ” 

“You don’t have to then.”

“I-if you must know.. There’s a shop going out of business soon that sells the most adorable angel figurines. Far from accurate, sure, but adore them all the same.”

You knew all too well. You had woken up to a few of the little porcelain demons on your dresser, or having a few spawn around your house every week. You didn’t know where he was getting the money for this addiction, but you didn’t want to ask.

“Some sage and other things to bless the house would be nice as well. Wouldn’t want any pests to keep bothering us.”

“Y/n!” You turn to face the chipper voice behind you, small box in hand. Baron had slipped away to one of the many kiosks around the area. He’s practically bouncing with excitement as he extends his hand to you. “I got something for you!”

“..Where on earth did you get money?”

“Al gave it to me because he said his brain would explode if he heard “stop requested" one more time. I wasn’t gonna complain about that, but I remembered I could use it on you.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Try it on already.” He opens the box and takes your wrist with his other hand. He slaps the leather bracelet round your arm, fitting it to the proper length for you as you turn your wrist to look at the front. A golden clock face was stitched into the fabric, a picture of a moth printed beneath the glass. Silver hands count the time with an auditable tick, marking the time as noon – and counting backwards. 

“You got me.. a broken watch?”

“What do you mean?” You both look at the clock, charging forward as intended. Confused, you drop your arm to your side.

“Never mind, I guess.” 

-

Alasdair reluctantly ventures off on his own, leaving you stuck with Baron by yourself. Having him anywhere near fragile objects wasn’t the brightest idea, especially when they were soulless cherubs staring deep into his own soulless body. You wander around the mall until Alasdair returns, Baron pointing out everything that piques his interest like a kid in a candy store. It was a bit refreshing to say the least. At least his full focus wasn’t on you.

“Y/n what’s that?”

You were walking along a shaded path when he found his next target of attention. It was a tall, black box; mirror glass planned around the under half and white text scribbled across its border. 

“Fortunes untold.” 

The most peculiar thing about the item was the figure within. Adorned with a black hood, skeletal fingers gripping the chair it sat upon. Blue led lights flashed from its sockets, shimmering faintly in the midday. 

“I think it’s a fortune teller.”

“A what?”

“You give it money and it predicts the future.”

“Sounds like a scam. Let’s do it.” Baron drags you over to the machine, taking his turn first as he deposits a coin into it. A card pops out from a slot beneath, Baron picking it up and reading aloud.

“ “Your aggressions may be your downfall” …. No clue what that makes. Your turn, Y/n.”

It’s not like you had anything better to do. You take the coin Baron holds out to you, walking up to the machine to place it inside. A card slides out even before the coin pasts through the slot, paper browned with age unlike Baron’s. The text is less bold, and more scratchy; five words spelled out that make a lump form in your throat.

“The fates are against you.”

Your hand shakes. Normal stuff like this wouldn’t get to you, but something feels off. You look back up at the fortune teller, head tilted ever so gently your way. Its eyes pierce through your skull; jaw more slack than before.

Leave.

“Y/n?’

Baron grips your shoulder, worry an easier expression to read with full features. “You’re spacing out again. Are you okay?”

“Yea, I’m good.” An idea comes to mind as you hold your head. “Actually, can you get me something to drink? It’s getting kind of hot.”

He lowers his head a bit. “Are you sure it’s okay to leave you alone?”

“I’ll be fine, don't worry.”

“Okay.” He races off to find the nearest drink stand. The air feels lighter once he leaves. Even though it started only seconds ago, it had been forever since you had a moment of peace to yourself. It couldn’t hurt to make it last longer by wandering off, would it? You look over at the fortune teller one last time. Its skin had returned and its eyes were a faded brown.

-

Looping around the corner, you venture on the outskirts of the center. A full weight had been lifted from your back the longer your isolation lasted. If you knew it wouldn’t send them both into a panic, this would have been a perfect time to do more research on freeing yourself from the chains that were your housemates. 

You pull the fortune card from your pocket, reading the words over and over; more carefully each time. Silly as it was, you wondered what real life connection could there be to it. The only thing that came to mind was them; two otherworldly forces under one roof with a love for one being fragile and bound to mortality unlike them. What could possibly be so special about you that made them crave existence by your side so badly.

The paper flies from your hand. The ticking in your ears beings; so faint that you pay no mind as you go after it. The wind carries it across the vacant street, stopping at the edge of an alleyway. Sirens blare as you pick it up, shaky breathes like a whisper from the alley – one growing stronger by the second. 

You turn your head, just as he does. A ski mask hangs in his grasp, a panicked gaze trained on you. He whips his other hand in your direction, and suddenly you’re facing down the long arm of a gun. You raise your hands above your head, knowing the best way to ease the situation was to remain calm. It didn’t matter either way. You had already seen his face. The ticking grows louder.

“What are you doing here?” 

“I’m just taking a walk.” 

He speaks through clenched teeth, tears hot at his cheeks. “You’re going to tell them where I am, alright you?”

“I didn’t see anything.”

“You saw my face…” His hands shake. He – he didn’t want to hurt anyone, but the fear of getting caught overturned any sense of righteousness in him. Muttering to himself, he repeats. “It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

You’re speechless. Nearly every scenario running through your mind comes as a blank towards any positive outcome for you – all but two. You know that one of them would save you, but would it be right to finally break in independence at your weakest moment? It would be hypocritical, but why were you pushing them away so hard in the first place?

“I’m so sorry.”

If there was one thing you should know about the man about to kill you, it was that he had no proper training with a gun before this morning. With an unsteady aim and improper resolve; it was nothing more than a stroke of ill fortune – when the bullet pierced straight through your heart. 

“Bar-"

It’s almost funny. Between an angel and a demon, the thing to put you out of your misery was the cruelty of humanity.

-

“Y/n? Where are you?”

Baron huffs in annoyance. He knows he got a little sidetracked, but that didn’t give you the right to run off without him. Refreshment and new gift in hand, he searches the sector for you.

“Y/n? Y/n?” 

With no luck with calling out, he decides to use other methods to find you. He sniffs the air. The scent of other humans is crowded, but the faint trail of yours reigns familiar and stronger than all. He follows it, far from the original meeting place and to a place where few inhabit. He catches a glimpse of someone turning the corner in the distance, picking up speed as he gives chase. 

“Hey, Y/n wait u-"

A muffled pop rings reverberates off the empty streets. 

The smell hits before he sees anything. 

One he had bore witness to only once before. The blood of the one that brought him back to the mortal realm. 

Something snaps within Baron. Like a rope with too much weight at one end. Something’s fading; dwelling from existence and leaving a hollow ache in his chest.  He can feel it. And Alasdair does too.

The distance between you and him is cut in a flash, distance footsteps still ringing into obscurity. His shoes become dyed in the horrible scent of the pool surrounding you. So sweet, and enticing it becomes nauseating. Your eyes were closed, limbs sprawled over the earth where you lay motionless. Baron falls to his knees beside you, the cooling blood soaking into the legs of his pants.

“Y-y/n?...” 

He scoops you into his arm. Your skin is clammy, the wound still leaks fresh blood. He tries to stop the bleeding, shaking you softly as tears run on your cheeks.

“Hey, wake up.”

You don’t respond. He shakes you a bit harder.

“Open your eyes. We can get you to AL. He can make you better. Please…”

You remain silent. Baron stands on wobbly legs, holding you tight against his body. He falters, crashing back down to the ground and squeezing you closer. This wasn’t how it should’ve ended. You had more time. You just had to. You needed more time together here. There were so many things he wanted to experience with you – it’s not far. Where were you now? Who would get you in the in? The thought of you at those pearly gates made him shake more. Alasdair can’t have you, not yet. Noone can have you, but him. 

“Y/n, don’t leave me.” 

You’re so cold. He lets out a wail unlike any creature imaginable. 

-

Drifting.

It feels like you’re lost out to sea, floating whichever way its waves took you. Silky, yet firm; it felt unlike any body of water you had ever been on. It feels relaxing; tranquil – like nothing existed before or after this moment. You open your eyes. Gray sand stretches for miles around you, no seeable end on the horizon. 

You hear the sound of running sand. Hourglasses hang in the sky above. Some just at the beginning of a cycle, while others reached their ends. Looking up, you notice something else over you – or someone to be more precise. 

A dark hood covered most of their features, chilly blue eyes staring back at you. Their skin clung so slightly to their bones there was hardly any different at all. Shadows wisped around their spidery limbs; six in total and coming from the center of their robe. Wings akin to a butterfly’s stuck from their back; riddled with holes and a pale black. 

Unfair. Unfair.

Its voice is soft, yet raspy; carried on the still winds. You struggled to understand.

“Huh?...”

“It is unfair. Such a prosperous life snuffed out so soon, before its time. Unnatural, yet still deserving of a chance.”

“What are you talking about?” 

It points to your chest. The wound was still there, but the skin and blood around it had grayed.

“It was not your time. It shouldn’t have been for a long time by mortal standards.”

It raises a hand upwards, plucking an hourglass from the fray. Unlike the others that had simply run out, this one was smashed open. 

“You hold the obedience of agents from both heaven and hell in your hands. An abnormal force, in a world that tries to see itself as balanced. By nature's rule, you should not be allowed to continue existing.” 

It holds the hourglass closer to you, images reflected on the last through your dead eyes. Blood splattered along the concrete, but it was not yours alone. Some spots were fresher, others were black. You spend so much time on them that you had yet to take note of the writhing body trying to pull itself closer to your corpse; stopped only by a beam of light through its backside.

Baron hisses in pain, but that doesn’t stop him. Clawing, banging, thrashing; in an attempt to grab you. His body was covered in wounds. Lighter nicks from human nails, and whole chunks of flesh torn from the stabs of a blade. He had reverted to normal form, skin caught in both sets of teeth. A foot holds him in place, heavenly light coming from above. 

“You need to calm down. Doing this won’t change anything.”

Baron snarls. He doesn’t care. The revenge on his tongue wasn’t enough. None could satisfy, yet he still craved more. The policemen that failed to catch the robber, his companions, every bystander in his way. All would be a sacrifice to his anger. Rage surging; pain still riddled his face as he reached out to you, calling your name weakly.

“You won’t bring them back like this!”

Alasdair; the voice of reason, wavers himself. He refuses to look at your body, to fully accept the fate that has fallen upon you; knowing it would ruin him even worse than it had Baron. Even with the chance of seeing you again, he could stomach seeing you like that. The mortal body was just as beautiful as the soul housed within. His eyes fall upon your corpse momentarily and that’s when Baron is able to break free once more.

You watch in silence, eyes falling to your hands in your lap. You were so tired. 

“So.. I’m guessing you’re a reaper?”

The figure nods.

“… Well, what happens now?”

“You return.”

“What?”

“It is… understandable how you have gathered those above you. I have seen your entire life within a single grain of sand.. I cannot let what nature decides be what takes you away. Wondering the sands of time, your glass has been like a gem in the rough.”

A hand scoops a handful of the sands around you, shoveling them back into your hourglass. In another, the reaper holds each shard of broken glass, placing them in order along the frame. It seals together with the placement of the last piece, leaving the rest of the glasses in the sky. The warmth returns to your skin, body full of life and functioning even with your heart blasted to bits. The damaged organ somehow manages to still pump blood.

“There still remains the state of your mortal form. The heart is too damaged to sustain you. I give you mine in its stead.”

It removes your heart as easily as a wart, hands snaking through its own ribcage to pull out a blackened heart. Just as easily, it places the organ into your chest. It feels no different than a normal heart, but you can tell it doesn’t belong. It holds yours in one hand like a prized treasure; fondly gazing over how it drips in its hand.

“I will return it on the eve of your true death. For now it is time for you to go back. We’ll meet again soon.”

-

And just like that, you return to your body. Your hair is sticky, clothes weighed down by rivers of blood. You slowly sit up, placing your hand over your chest. The hole was completely sealed, heart beating steadily. You slowly stand up, remembering the fight going on while you were dead.

Feathers and gore line the back alley streets, leading you right where the two were. Baron was on his back now, Alasdair kneeling on his chest and sword seconds away from decapitating him. The hatred in his eyes was worse than Baron’s fits by tenfold. He planned the demon for your death. For ruining those peace days you and him spent together, you blissfully unaware of his presence as it should have been. He’d make his death painful. Each time he crawled from hell, Alasdair would be there to cut him down once more. 

“Alasdair?… Baron?..”

Both individuals face you. Your voice is like a mirage to a dehydrated man’s delirium. A bit shaken up, you stand before them in perfect health. 

“I wish I stayed for that drink. My throat is killing me.”

“Y/n…?” Your name is uttered quietly by both, neither believing you to be alive. Believing isn’t necessary.  They can sense it. Every breath you take in. Every movement you make. Even the essence of life flowing through your body. 

Alasdair is on you first. This must be some trick. His grip on his weapon tightens. Just a trick by some lower level demon to get him to lower his guard for a chance to strike; but in the end – he does. He tosses his blade aside and wraps you in his arm. He apologizes, for failing you as your guardian. He promises to never let you far from his sight again. 

“I love you so much, my little cherub.”

Baron watches from the sideline; the pain in his body numb at the sight of you. He hugs you from the opposite side, laughing in disbelief as he inhales your scent. 

“You said my name… You came back.. Don’t leave us ever again.”

-

You return home with a piggyback from Alasdair. Baron protests and tries to get you away, but eventually gives up; content with watching you rest peacefully on the angel’s back. 

You all step inside, all lights on despite the fact nobody should be there. A scrawny body lays over your couch, face pressed into the cushions and in blissful slumber. As if sensing the other presences in the room, they awaken, rubbing sleep from their eyes with a dreamy smile.

“You’ve finally returned.”

Alasdair and Baron share a look.

“Excuse me-"

“Who the fuck are you?”

The new member of your household merely smiles more, showing a cracked watch hooked to their wrist. 

“Noone. Just the person that has taken Y/n's heart.”

[heavenbelongstociaran]

me and my wilmon playlist

i like to think of myself as the second coming of christ when it comes to making playlists right, and i have this completely reasonable in length young royals playlist and i feel like i nailed it, in terms of the general vibe of the show AND scene specific themes.

ANYWAY, the reason i'm bringing it up is because i think there are a few songs that are very season specific that are in there.

season 1: visions of gideon by sufjan stevens

I KNOW everyone and their mother would agree that this song is very tragically wilmon.

"I have loved you for the last time

Is it a video? Is it a video?

I have touched you for the last time

Is it a video? Is it a video?"

giving very much episode six, when simon and wille were saying goodbye just before wille left for the palace. even though simon was being reassuring, comforting and encouraging (calling him brave, saying the royal court couldn't force him to do something he didn't want to do), wille (imo) didn't seem to believe him. and i think the way they kissed just made it seem like wille had already made his mind up, even though he said that he wouldn't lie about the video. it felt like he knew he was going to do it, and that it would inevitably be the end of the relationship, hence the lyrics being "i have loved/touched you for the last time."

honourable mentions include:

i'm your man by mitski

on and on by djo

favourite crime by olivia rodrigo

love in the dark by adele

it almost worked by tv girl

hurts me too by faye webster

take me home by pinkpantheress

let light be light by lizzy mcalpine

season 2: crack baby by mitski

gonna start with the honourable mentions first because there are loads:

i loved you by sunday cruise

thursday girl by mitski

why didn't you stop me by mitski

capable of love by pinkpantheress

genuinely, there are so many more but these are the ones that popped into my head as i was scrolling through the playlist.

you know that one saying that's like, "you never know how good you had it until it's gone" or however it goes? that's how season 2 felt.

both simon and wille were trying to recreate what they had or could have had with other people (marcus and felice, respectively) and realised that that would be impossible.

"Crack baby, you don't know what you want But you know that you had it once And you know that you want it back Crack baby, you don't know what you want But you know that you're needing it And you know that you need it bad"

said realisation definitely hurt wille incredibly, considering he said he wished it hadn't happened. it made him realise what life could be like, but he threw that away because he thought he was doing the right thing by denying the video ("protecting" simon). i actually have no idea how to explain this but like, trust me bro.

season 3: too many to name.

heaven by mitski. these fuckers were so in love this season, it was quite sickening (/affection). thinking about season three wilmon makes me want to cry, ignoring their communication issues, and other things that had a negative impact on their relationship.

a part of that by anna kendrick. HERE ME OUT. so, the song is from the movie adaptation of the play "the last five years" and anna's character, kathy, is watching her husband succeed and do all these amazing things in his life and is wondering where she fits into all of it. in season three and maybe the whole series, there's the topic of where the big five fit into the society or positions they're placed in and their positions in each other's lives. wille's struggle w/the monarchy and wanting out, august wanting in (for example).

dark circles by ryan beatty. this has simon written all over it.

casino by ryan beatty.

capable of love by pinkpantheress. goes with what i yapped about regarding season two. whenever they break, or rather when simon breaks up with simon, they seem to feel like this is the be all, end all of everything and that they won't love anyone ever again. in capable of love, pinkpantheress is saying that people pretend that the bond that she has with her love interest doesn't exist, ie people ignoring the fact that simon and wille were together at one point and only acknowledging wille when he got with felice BUT she also says that that doesn't matter, considering everything they went through to get to where they are now. she goes on to say that she'll never be able to love anyone the same way if they were to ever break up and i think that, throughout the series, this has shone through.

ribbons by ryan beatty. https://genius.com/31122186/Ryan-beatty-ribbons/Whos-gonna-hold-you-while-you-sleep-well-its-brave-to-be-nothing-to-no-one-at-all

little faith by ryan beatty!!!!!! (quite frankly, the entire album, Calico.)

general

there are a lot of songs that could encompass the show. capable of love. literally any loyle carner song about struggling with your identity and familial relationships and breaking cycles (polyfilla). sufjan stevens (mystery of love, everything that rises). so on and so forth. but wilmon and the young royals are not one dimensional enough to be described by one or eighteen songs, they're a whole catalogue. that playlist on paper is the most random thing i have ever crafted because fo&o, boygenius and brockhampton have no right to be in the same playlist, but hurt like we did, cool about it and any way want me absolutely deserve to be together; in a cool way, i think that's literally what simon and wille are like: on paper, they don't make sense. the crown prince of sweden, white and privileged and a gay brown boy from a small town who just happens to be an antimonarchist, but if you take that all away, they're two boys trying to find their place in the world, making mistakes.

feel free to give feedback and song recs !!!

playlist links:

apple music: https://music.apple.com/za/playlist/young-royals-but-i-made-the-soundtrack/pl.u-6mo4ZzvSBedVApW

spotify: (i haven't updated it on there in at least six months): https://open.spotify.com/playlist/25Pf9bDFBl6vtXOH9cvJC5?si=0b8a0ff36bb5435e

[call-me-a-simp]

Don't be scared

(oneshot)

Rhea Ripley x Reader x Damian Priest

Mami!Rhea X Afab!(trans ftm)disabled! Reader X Daddy!Damian, smut

You're in your apartment with your partners, cooking dinner while they relax on the couch. They had a pretty rough day and are now watching their favorite TV show.

You join them in the living room, trying to balance the tray with food on your legs and pushing your wheelchair. It's quite difficult since you don't have any feeling inside your legs due to an accident a few years ago, but you've gotten quite used to it by now and it's not that much of a challenge anymore in your daily life.

"Oh sorry babe, let me help you" Rhea says and is about to get up but Damian holds her back. She looks at him confused and before he can explain, you interrupt him. "I don't want help, even if I know you only mean well but I want to make it on my own" you give her a warm smile and she returns it, relaxing onto the couch again.

"Alright then, sorry, what did you make?" she asks curiously. "No need to apologize, you didn't know better. I didn't make anything fancy todas, just pizza with some extra cheese since I know how much you love it" you wink at her and put the tray on the little table in front of the big couch.

You lock eyes with Damian and he get's up, helping you out of your wheelchair and onto the couch next to Rhea. "Now I'm confused.." Rhea says. But you can't blame her, she's new to your polyamorous relationship and doesn't always know when or if you need help.

"he doesn't have the strength in his arms to lift himself out of the wheelchair and onto the couch" Damian explains and you thank him with a smile. "Oh ok" Rhea shrugs. "Don't worry, I usually always tell when I need help but Damian got so used to it that I don't need to say anything anymore" you chuckle.

You eat in silence in front of the TV, even after you're finished no one says a word. Until the main character of the show is making out with another person and they end up showing them in bed. Even though you can no longer feel your legs, there is still a lot of feeling in the area around your hips and lower abdomen.

Damian notices you trying to grind on the sofa without success and smirks, deciding to let you suffer in silence until either Rhea notices by herself or you speak up, which you usually don't do when it comes to being horny.

Rhea sees you trying to shift positions next to her and asks if everything's okay and if you need help, but Damian jumps in saying you're just honey but not able to do anything about it on your own. "Yeah but you two could change that" you smirk at them.

You notice Rhea feeling uncomfortable, she never had sex with you before and it made her nervous. As tough as she might seem out there in the ring, she was a very soft and sometimes really insecure person and you always felt the need to protect her.

"Dont worry baby, there's nothing you have to be afraid of" you lean over to her and kiss her cheek. "but what if I do something wrong, like.." she whispers and sighs. "I think you already know the answer sweetheart" Damian tries to calm her and hugs her, pulling her close to his chest.

"Okay but can we do something now?" you beg "I hate teasing you know that Damian!" you whisper-shout. Your two partners chuckle and this time Rhea picks you up and carries you to the bedroom where she let's you down on the bed. You take off your shirt and pants, revealing a pretty sexy set of lingerie.

"Oh damn" Damian says and whistles. He's standing in the door frame as he put the dishes away first. You grin and pull yourself into the middle of the big bed. Rhea, overwhelmed with the whole situation, just stands there awkwardly as Damian begins to take of his shirt.

"Come here Rhea baby" you say and hold your arms open for her. She hesitates a little but does as you say and snuggles close to you. You pull her on top until she's hovering above you. You cup her cheek, putting a stray strand of hair back behind her ear.

"I know you're afraid of failing, but first of there's nothing you could do wrong and second of all, I promise this is worth it" you whisper and kiss her. She hums into the kiss making you smile, it sounded almost like a moan. You feel Damian joining you two in bed, pulling Rhea off of you so she's only laying half on top of you. She doesn't break the kiss though. Priest then get's comfortable behind her, spooning her and carefuly trailing his hand up her body making her shiver.

You pull away from the kiss and Rhea lays flat on her back, looking at you and then Damian who's smiling at her. You lean on your elbows and bend over to her, whispering "no need to be scared" and kiss her again, more passionately this time. Damian slowly moves his hand up, but is stopped by Rhea who is still very insecure and not ready.

You cup her cheek and deepen the kiss, reassuring her enough to let Damian continue. He starts to play with her chest under her shirt and she moans into the kiss. You pull away again so your boyfriend could also have a turn and move yourself over to the nightstand while your partners are making out, and pull out a vibrator from the drawer.

Damian has removed Rhea's shirt and bra by now. She grew more and more confident with every second and let her hands move dangerously across Damian's body. He pins her down, dominating her again.

They exchange heated kisses and you can almost feel the knot building in your stomach just by watching them. You lean over to them and lightly drag the toy up from Rhea's bare abdomen to her breasts where you turn it on and listen to her whimpering.

She pushes Damian away to break the kiss and curses "fuck y/n don't tease me like that! I want you both, now!" "that's how I like my pretty girl" Damian praises and moves to unbutton Rhea's pants. She helps him, not wanting to wait any longer, and takes them off together with her panties to throw them off the bed.

You notice your girlfriend almost staring at the bump in your partners pants. You're sure, if she were to open her mouth drool would start dripping out. "You need to take off your pants baby" she breathes out but you push her back down on the bed and place the vibrator on her clit, turning it on without any warning.

"Oh fuck" she moans loudly. And you grin, it always turned you on so much, seeing a partner making faces from pleasure. "I- oh yes- y/nn" she cries out and sharply inhales as she feels Damian's hard cock against her entrance.

"Relax" he says in a deep, lust filled voice "I'll be careful!" and kisses her forehead. You see a single tear escaping from the corner of her eye as Damian slowly pushes into her. She exhales shakily and you cup her cheek and kiss her.

One of her arms wraps around your waist pulling you closer and the other ones takes the vibrator away from you. Your hand moves to the back of her neck, deepening the kiss. You both moan into the kiss as you hear Damian grunt. He's all the way inside his girlfriend now, giving her some time to adjust.

Since your hips are about three feet away from Rhea's body you try to turn on your tummy, Damian helps you by grabbing your waist with one hand and pulling it over. Your upper body now hovering over Rhea, her arm still around your back trying to get your bra open.

Your boyfriend takes the vibrator from her hand and begins to tease you with it. You didn't expect it and let out a surprised sound which quickly turns into moans. Damian also started to move inside of your girlfriend who seems to be very overwhelmed by the whole situation.

Her moans grow louder as Damian fucks her faster and harder and you decide to edge her even more by rubbing her clit. Rhea is now literally crying from pleasure, tears streaming down her face, hands clenched to the bedsheets.

"I can't take this any longer" she whines and pulls you down for a kiss. "Don't come until I say you can" Damian presses out through gritted teeth. You could tell by the look on his face that he was close too.

With a few more hard thrusts he gives Rhea permission and they both cum with a loud moan. Your boyfriend tries to keep himself from collapsing on his partners and you pull him down for a sloppy kiss.

"Shit" Rhea pants. They're both heavily breathing but you all knew this wasn't over yet. You once again let out a surprised moan as Damian turns the vibrator up to max level. Rhea pulls you in for another heated kiss as Damian pulls out of her, switching places so you were the one under him now.

"Come on Demi, we're not done" he smirks and Rhea sits up. They help you in a position, somewhere between laying and sitting. You notice Damian and Rhea exchanging eye contact and smirking before your girlfriend speaks up.

"From now on, whenever you speak to us, it's either Mommy or Daddy! You understand that?" she advises you. "Yes Mommy" you reply making them grin. Damian lifts one of his legs over your torse, kneeling in front of your face now.

Rhea spreads your legs and begins to kiss your tummy and lower abdomen. "You know what to do princess, suck it" the man's voice is so sexy and turning you on, you could cum just by listening to him speak.

"Yes daddy" you moan as Rhea bites down on one of your sweet spots. You use your hands to stroke him a few times before kissing the tip and swirling your tongue around it. Damian's breathing get's heavier again and as Rhea plays with your clit and teases your entrance you open your mouth to inhale deeply.

Your boyfriend uses the opportunity to grab you by the hair and force his dick into you. "Mmhm" you moan, drool dripping down your chin as you begin to pleasure him. Rhea finally pushing one finger into you and immediately hitting the right spot makes you gasp and Damian pushes further into you.

You gag and grab his hips for support as he fucks your face harder. Your girlfriend's tongue dancing around your clit, her fingers managing to always curl in the right spot, hitting your g-spot every single time.

"Ohh yess" Damian moans, his head falling back and his eyes fluttering close. He speeds up his thrusts in your mouth until he cums, filling you up all the way. "Don't forget to swallow, pretty" Rhea interrupts her work to chuckle.

Damian pulls out of you and strokes himself a few more times until he cums a third time on your tits and face. You have a hard time swallowing but manage to do it. As soon as you can speak again you moan for Rhea to not stop now as you were close yourself.

Rhea moaning against your pussy as Damian slaps her ass is everything you need to cum all over her fingers "ahh shit keep going mommy, keep going" you scream and end up squirting everywhere. "Good job baby" your boyfriend praises you as you pant heavily and kisses you.

"Damn" he says to Rhea "I've never been able to make him sqirt, you really must know which buttons to press" he smirks and Rhea smiles proudly. "Thank you mommy, thank you daddy" you say once your breathing steadied a little again.

"Everything for our princess" Damian says, kissing you again and getting up to get some towels from the bathroom to clean up. "You were right" Rhea whispers and curls up to your side, snuggling her head in the crook of your neck.

"This really was worth it! I don't think I've ever had sex that good". You smile at her words and wrap your arms around her, kissing her forehead. Damian returns and cleans everything up, before tossing the towels aside to your clothes and spooning Rhea again from behind.

You feel her smiling against your skin, knowing it's because she can feel her boyfriend's cock against her ass, just like you did many times before. You chuckle and Damian kisses her neck before pulling a blanket over the three of you. Damian snuggles closer as Rhea whispers "Thank you for this great night" and he wraps his arm around her waist.

---------------------------------------------------

Requested oneshot by @babybatlover, hope it's way you wanted it to be and you enjoy it and btw this the first time I wrote a disabled person

Requests are open!

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

[askew-d]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

hello, there! thank you for following me, by the way. this ask’s a sweet surprise! i don’t mind at all, i’ve never answered this before :) i’ll make a list of all the characters i cherish. it’s not ranked over who i cherish more though (they’re all special for me). they’re all random nonetheless, but let’s see if you can catch a little bit of a ‘type’ here, haha.

1. kageyama tobio, from haikyuu!! — i first found him to be a very bothersome character in terms of background and personality. perhaps a little bit aggressive, unnecessarily so. however, i can see how much he’s changed after finding a team like karasuno and hinata especially, and over time we go unraveling his attitude to find an actually sweet person who probably only thinks about milk, cats, leaving his nails neat and other stupid things. he’s one of those tsundere characters and that’s nice. he’s overall a nice person who’s judged unfairly. and his awkwardness turns out to be adorable, so that’s a plus.

2. minato, from the film kaibutsu — this japanese show absolutely wrecked me. it seriously did. how the hell could they expect me to move on after it? i have no words for how much this story impacted me. this main character brings such a tender feeling of youth and fragile love towards another person that sweeps me off my feet. he’s got a repressed heart that slowly comes free and it made me feel very protective over him.

3. violet, from the anime violet evergarden — heartfelt letters aside, this anime felt to me like a coming of age show. or perhaps more like a coming of ‘human’. i love her because she’s truly intrigued about the world, the people, feelings as a whole and what it means to be a breathing creature. she’s just a child. she wants to see everything. to understand her heart. she’s a force of nature that beholds so much and doesn’t even know how to put into proper words, even if that’s her job.

4. lu guang, from shiguang daili ren —i just watched link click recently, but this boy surely made a way into my heart. i love how he’s ready to fight the world on behalf of cheng xiaoshi, and although he’s a hypocrite through and through, he’s real. he’s one of the realest people i’ve seen being portrayed. because who in heavens would choose someone unimportant to tou if you can choose someone you love? and how he hides his emotions? chef’s kiss. i love that he’s an ‘actions speak louder than words’ kind of guy; he’d call you an idiot in one moment, then burn the world for you in the following one.

5. the little prince, from the book the little prince — i cannot forget this book not even in a million years. changed me as a person. this vulnerable, free character makes me think he’s not just a hallucination from the author, he’s a magical shiny little person who’s discovering about life. i love him because he’d never change, you can’t change him, because he’ll always be a child at heart and mind. he’s everyone. he’s you, he’s me, he’s who we were. and that breaks me apart. he makes me cry, this one. he makes me remember that i’m a child too, regardless of how many time passes.

6. léon doré, from the film it’s not me, i swear! — i was a fifteen-year old watching this after having reconnected with my mother and that’s why it marvelled me. it’s a lot of what i’ve been through, of what i’ve been. i love him because i relate to him, and i wish i could’ve had that courage. i won’t spoil the story, but i really recommend it! my favorite film of all time. it has trigger warning for child abandonment, suicide attempts and child abuse though.

7. wei wuxian, from mo dao zu shi — oh, boy, i can’t relate to this one at all. i think he’s the only one from this list that doesn’t fall into the ‘introvert with hidden feelings and traumatised past’ type, not entirely. he only falls into the traumatised past. i think he’s the only extrovert character — besides hinata shouyou — that i actually like. i’m an introvert at heart, so at first he annoyed me too, lan wangji, i get you. but his strength? how he looks into the world that broke him and says ‘i’ll keep trying, i’ll keep smiling’? how he loves to the point of sacrifying himself? how he’s not attuned to his feelings because he’s more worried about being excited over little things? how he’s just overall so rebellious, but intelligent, sincere, witty, and does this all for the good, regardless if he’s being misjudged? how he’s been through hell but chooses to find reasons to keep going instead of looking back? oh, how i love him.

8. todoroki shouto, from my hero academia — i don’t enjoy boku no hero anymore, it has lost the entertaining bits for me. but i do expect the best for this boy right here, i love him for his cool nature, how he walks into life trying to let go of his resentment (after he befriends midoriya), and how he cares for his friends more than words can be let out to express. i wish the anime had grew to be better so i could watch more of him, but the feeling’s gone for me now. nevertheless, i still cherish him.

9. gin, from hotarubi no mori e — he’s a mystery, that’s for sure. he deserved so much more. he deserved life, he deserved a chance to live. i love the tenderness in him, and the sheer tenderness he showed our main character even if he didn’t even managed to be a real, normal boy! how can beings find the love in themselves and be so painfully alive even if they’re not in fact in the human spectrum? i love that he taught us this concept of love. i love this type of trope. i love and hate it at the same time.

10. dr. house, from house m.d — i had a hard time wondering if i should indeed add him here. because he’s an asshole. why do i like him? i don’t know. i see this flawed, asshole man and i see the pain in him and though it doesn’t justify anything at all, it’s what humans are all about. he judges everyone. he shames everyone. he shows people’s true intentions. he hides his true intentions. he’s repressed and lonely and he’s doomed. but he’s got this relationship with wilson, and women, and monster trucks games, and he lives. and he’s an awful man, but aren’t we all at core? i love to hate him.

bonus: nozomi fujisaki, from cherry magic, and nano, from girl from nowhere. they’re wonderful. they’re everything. love fujisaki’s view in life (it matches mine) and nano’s brilliance ✨

haha, well, this got longer than i thought, but wow, i enjoyed this a lot. thank you for asking me this, really! big hugs!!

[the-pjo-analyst]

The Lightning Thief Summary

Here I was thinking I'd finish editing this today and still have plenty of time before the show airs and then they release the episodes early sjkdfhsdkfh

Anyway over a year later and it's done! Thank you for everyone who's been patient with my posts despite taking so long to finish. I'll put a pause on my book analyses so I can focus on reading the Trials of Apollo (I never finished the series,,,,,) so I can finally read all the new content we got this year! Maybe I'll make live posts as I read 👀 I kinda want to make posts about the tv show when it airs too.... we'll see :D

Until then, here's a summary of the first book:

Themes

The concept of home In terms of a physical place, Camp Half-Blood is the biggest example of this, as a sanctuary for demigods who struggle to survive and fit in in the regular world. I find it interesting how in every book something threatens the existence of CHB as a safe place. In this case it's something small, the hellhound that Luke brought in. Luke even says he did it so Chiron would believe camp wasn't safe and send Percy off on a quest. Each threat progressively gets worse, which forces the demigods to go on quests to either directly or indirectly save/help their home. There's also people as a place to call home, like how Sally is to Percy. Funny enough the motif of demigods going on quests to protect their home also applies to here because Percy doesn't accept his quest to save CHB, he does it to save his mom, the only person at that point he felt at home with. Because brain is hardwired to think about percabeth all the time I'll put this out in the open: Percy and Annabeth stand on opposite ends of the "what is home" spectrum at the beginning, Percy's being a person and Annabeth's being a place, and then they kinda switch with Percy finding a home at CHB and Annabeth learning to call her mortal family home. But haha psyche it's actually them growing to call each other home. Like when Percy is on the fence whether to stay at camp for the year or not, a major reason he decides against it is bc Annabeth won't be there. And then Annabeth would never have considered living with her dad again is Percy didn't encourage her.

Supporting others and having support from loved ones This pops up a lot in the book and it's an important driving force for a lot of the characters: Percy having a loving mother, the trio having each other's backs throughout their quest, the trio supporting each other's goals, even Poseidon watching over Percy. When they're at their lowest, when they think about giving up, they all had someone who picked them back up, someone who eased the pain a little, and that helped them keep going and lift them up. On the topic of Percy vs Luke, this is a major point that distinguishes the two as heroes. Percy has a support system that he can fall back to when he makes mistakes or bad things happen to him while Luke doesn't, not really. Although it's hard to tell from Percy's pov whether Luke had any close friends or not, it doesn't seem like he had anyone to confide in (at least after Thalia). He's left to stew in his negative emotions, another reason why he was so easy to be manipulated.

Identity Maybe too early to really talk about this, but the first book introduces this idea of how characters identify themselves, and especially who they identify with. Demigods being categorized demigods by their godly parent and also them choosing whether to identify by that or not. On the flip side, demigods feeling lost or not seen when they either aren't claimed or don't have a cabin to truly call theirs. There's also Annabeth who practically grew up in this system and internalized it, and came to find there's more to the world than just who your godly parent is. And Percy on the opposite side again lmao, who considers himself Sally Jackson's son first and foremost, and then learns to accept Poseidon in his life in whatever form it entails.

Worship of the gods and broken systems Probably the most important theme to the plot line of the series. I talked a lot about this in terms of Percy vs Luke for my ch 21 and 22 posts, essentially how demigods' over-reliance on the gods breeds a flawed and defective system. A subtheme for this is the gods and responsibility: who gets blamed for the actions of the gods? are the gods obligated to claim and acknowledge their children? I think what makes Percy the perfect Child of the Prophecy is that he has never relied on the gods as omniscient and almighty beings to give him what he needs, he instead relies on his own power, and that allows him to work with the gods to create change in future books. He never had a moment where he worshiped the gods and also never had a moment of disillusionment bc he was immediately thrust into a situation that revealed out broken the system was as soon as he was brought into the world of immortals. He sees the gods and their world as they are, both the good and the bad.

Characters

Percy: I'll just summarize his core qualities since I talk too much about this kid 😂: Percy is strong-minded and doesn’t back down easily, he has high integrity, he’s incredibly loyal to his friends and stands up for them, he heavily relies on his instincts and is impulsive, he's also very street-smart! he's impertinent lol and doesn't take well to authority if he feels it isn’t deserving or fair, he loves loves loves his mom, he always fights to protect, he has an incredibly low self-esteem and desires others to see beyond the trouble that follows him, he doesn't like "bothering" people with his problems. His sass and spite probably formed as a defense mechanism against his low self-esteem and the abusive environment he grew up in. It's interesting reading the book while fully looking at Percy's characteristics in terms of how growing up with Gabe affected him. For example, if he had a stable home, would his self esteem be as low as it is?

This pops up at the end and becomes hugely important in the later books, but Percy tends to take on responsibilities way too personally and they tend to become fixations. After Luke's betrayal, Percy is like I have to go find him and I can't just sit around while Luke is planning to destroy the world. He's like,,,, proactive to a fault.

Traits he probably gets as a child of Poseidon bc I love discussions that try to pinpoint this: the inability regulate strong emotions, like his temper; his brooding expression that gives him the air of a troublemaker and loose canon; his difficultly in following the rules; obv his love of beaches too.

Annabeth: As I've said before, Annabeth makes a good foil for Percy as the logical and book-smart person to Percy's heavy emotions and instincts. She's introduced as someone who's opposing to Percy in almost every way: someone who's entire world is her godly parent and the immortal world, who relies on her brain first before anything else, who's a bit manipulative, who's very confident in her abilities. But they also have some similarities: where Annabeth has faced lots of abandonment and Percy has faced a lot of rejection, and from these experiences they both have come to desire acknowledgement of their worth and the good in them. And they come to find these things in each other. It's also important to note how they learn from one another on their quest, like Percy starting to form strategies in his battles and Annabeth finding that the immortal world isn't everything.

Annabeth's aspirations and fatal flaw are very much tied together, since she's learned growing up that she can only rely on herself to do things right, plus having incredible pride as a child of Athena, led to her developing hubris. And it goes hand-in-hand with her desire for something permanent since she's never had something stable prior to arriving at camp. Her dream to be an architect allows her to both create something that will last eternity and make her stamp on the world.

Grover: The growth for Grover is a little less prominent compared to Percy and Annabeth. He's introduced as being meek with low-confidence but he has Big Dreams for that Tiny Body. It's really because he has Percy and Annabeth that he's able to grow and gain more confidence in himself, without them his aspirations would just be a pipe dream (I'm sorry I made an accidental pun lol). Grover rises to the occasion because he has people who believe in him and frequently tell him so and he also wants to meet those expectations. And that support takes physical form at the end of the book, both with Grover gaining his searcher license and him getting a growth spurt. You can see with your eyes how much he's matured, filling into the shoes of the person he wants to be in a literal sense.

Luke: Whereas Annabeth is different from Percy in every way but the ones that really matter, Luke is similar to Percy in every aspect except ones that really matter. He's a very caring and supportive person, so much so that he takes Percy under his wing when no one else does when Percy arrives at camp. He sees a broken system in the immortal world and wants something better for demigods. And yet he's also incredibly selfish, he leans more into putting himself and his desires first before anything else. He had relied too much on the gods to fix and provide everything and becomes bitter when that doesn't happen. Despite being a source of support for others, he doesn't have that for himself. And because of these differences, Luke is way more susceptible to Kronos' influence than Percy is. Kronos can offer glory and power and self gratification, and where Percy would refuse because it goes against his morals and who he is (someone who thinks about others before himself), Luke is more likely to be swayed.

Honestly Luke seems like a "what if" in comparison to Percy. What if Percy lost his mom? What if he was left at camp when he was younger? What if Percy never found a support system? All the examples I'm thinking of boil down to Percy having a parental figure that guides him and teaches him important lessons, while Luke doesn't lmao.

There's two sides in Luke, love vs anger, kindness vs selfishness, gods vs titans, celestial bronze vs steel, and this conflict appears frequently throughout the series. I want to see what moments this conflict shows itself in the later books!

Other things to keep in mind for the series when I continue reading and other notes:

Does Percy have claustrophobia? Or does it only show up at St Louis lol

The parallels between Percy and Luke

Ways Percy and Annabeth get closer and learn from one another

[B2 Summary]

[thephantomcasebook]

Oh, this lack of episodes is driving me crazy haha What do you think Daeron and Alicent's relationship will be like? Since it seems that in the series "her favorite son" is Aemond?

Hmm ...

How i would handle Alicent and Daeron's relationship in the show?

I'd actually like to see Alicent as a close mentor to Daeron, in the same vein that Criston is to Aemond.

I've always maintained that Aegon and Helaena are the most damaged of Alicent's children, because, they were old enough to remember being ignored and unloved by Viserys and what it was to have an absent father.

While as Aemond and Daeron both grew up in a time when Criston and Alicent were together and so they never knew what it was not to have a father that didn't care, cause I don't think that Aemond and Daeron really see Viserys as their father. When they think of their dad, I'm pretty sure both boys think of Criston, because, he's been there their entire lives. Though, Daeron might also see Otto in the same light.

Which is why I feel that Alicent being the Merlin to Daeron's Arthur might actually be interesting.

I think that Daeron has had no shortage of male role models - from Criston to teach him about honor and how to fight, to Otto who taught him how to rule - but I think that Alicent would play a major role in his life as a spiritual and moral adviser as the sort of model, almost angelic, feminine influence of which he has had so very little of in his life.

Growing up being raised by Criston and influenced by his world view and morals, I think both Aemond and Daeron also view Alicent as this saintly or angelic figure of piety. And, having been ripped away from her at a formative age, I think that notion of Alicent would be felt double by Daeron in all the long years he's been away - especially if he's been fighting in the Stepstone Wars. So, I think that, like Criston, Daeron would also view Alicent as this beautiful saintly sage of whom he confesses his sins and takes advise from and comfort in.

It might be that Daredevil is in my top five favorite superheroes and the Netflix show is one of my all time favorite tv shows. But if I was put in charge of Daeron, I'd take a huge inspiration from Matt Murdock/Daredevil.

Since there is a long gap of Daeron doing nothing in the war but protecting Alicent and King's Landing. I'd love to see Daeron get mixed up in the King's Landing underworld. Inspired by "Blood & Cheese" and Daemon's continued influence in Flea Bottom and in the City Watch, Daeron takes on a Zorro or "The Shadow" type vigilante persona that goes out at night in a hooded sash and fights thugs and criminals on the streets to protect the common people and to avenge his nephew and Helaena. "The White Worm" would be his nemesis that he trying to bring to Justice. While also chasing the rumor of a kingpin type character that is starting slowly take over King's Landing in the vaccum that Daeron's actions are creating.

It would help introduce and build up elements that become super important later under Rhaeynra's reign and when those underworld elements take over that city after the riots. It would also establish Daeron as a master of disguise and give him familiarity with the many factions of King's Landing for when "The Hedge Knight" arrives after the Second Battle of Tumblestone.

You know the random guy that organizes a well ordered fighting force out of the citizens of King's Landing, marches them to the Red Keep and retakes it from the remainder of Rhaeynra's Garrison. Just the random Hedge Knight that goes in and immediately frees Alicent and the rest of the imprisoned Greens. And also - suspiciously - captures then slowly and brutally kills "The White Worm" personally ... almost as if this random and before unnamed "Hedge Knight" had a vendetta against the woman responsible for "Blood & Cheese" and "The Brothel Queens" or something ... before disappearing from history after Aegon returns.

Weird isn't it?

But more to the point, I'd love to see them legitimately tackle questions of faith and violence in an intelligent and thoughtful way. I know I'm barking up the wrong tree when all faith in GRRM's world - and worldview - are just empty institutions to wield power. But, since Alicent is legitimately religious in the show and in canon Daeron struggles mightily with the balance between the morality of violence. I feel that there is potential for some great intellectual debates and conversations between Alicent and Daeron about the nature of war and morality.

Imagine Alicent and Daeron sitting together in the Grand Sept - right were she and Rhaenyra used to pray together and where they found Aegon. Alicent is resting on her hip, her legs drawn under her bottom comfortably, Daeron is lounging back against the stone alter - mother and son hiding together from the world by candlelight above them. The Queen's eyes are rapturous with glassy eyed attention as her little boy - a man grown now - speaks softly to her with vulnerability he can't show to any of their men.

We hear how Daeron is one of the best swordsman in the realm, but he doesn't know how to square that with the gods if his one talent is murder. He tells Alicent that he cannot be a righteous man, a true knight, when he's fought so many battles on the Stepstones riding this death beast and burning to ash all that the gods have created.

He turns to Alicent - this beautiful and pious saintly angel that he dreamed of in terrible nights among death and war - and tells her how he fears the violence, the rage, in him since he was torn away from Aegon, Helaena, Aemond, Criston ... and her. How they put a bastard sword in his hand and a saddle on Tessarion and told him to go kill the little brown men from Essos on a chain of barren rocky islands for six FUCKING years. How this weakness of character, this vengeful madness of what was stolen from him - his childhood, his life ... her - has made him capable of mass murder and destruction atop of Tessarion ... and all spoken in one powerful single word.

Alicent, reaches out and touches his cheek, stoking it intimately. She is strong and regal when she tells him that each god is but a face of a whole to one being, just like humans. That everyone has the Warrior, the Smith, the Mother, and the Father, in them. That no one is truly but one aspect, but many, and that what the gods truly desire is balance. When he took his oath as a knight. he vowed to protect the helpless and help the weak. That all that was done in battle, in war, was done fulfilling his oath, his vows, his duty, to the realm, to his family ... and to her.

That he need not love the blood his sword has shed, but instead endure what must be done for the love of those he protects.

Then, going full Virgin Madonna iconography, Alicent gets upon her knees and lays Daeron's head against her silken breasts and holds him to her, saying that she cannot absolve him of his sins or his guilt ... but regardless of all of them, now and in the future, she will love him forever.

I just want these close, intimate, and unguarded moments of wisdom and advice between Alicent and Daeron. Just give her character another gear, not just this perpetual sexy sad girl who is always crying or frozen in anxiety. Quiet competency and gentle moments of love from a mother and son, and wisdom and advise from a mentor to a valiant young heroic knight. Give them an equally valid but different touch to the father-son Criston and Aemond's relationship.

[jayswing101]

Y'all. I have just finished reading one of the most incredible fics I've ever read in my life. It was so good and hopeful and moving and thoughtful and I just. I don't know really how to describe it, or explain how I felt while reading it or how I feel now after having finished it, except to say that the world feels a little less grey, a little less lonely, and a little more hopeful.

The fic is a Guardian fic, and it's the story of Shen Wei's life told from the perspective of people who have helped him along the way. It's in seven parts, from the perspectives of seven different characters, and the whole thing is written from the pov of those characters looking in on what parts of Shen Wei's life they can see.

It's set in drama-verse and does follow the canon ending of things, but just like how the drama ends with that hopeful little promise to meet again, this fic also ends on a note of hope, even after everything that happens.

And it is told from the pov of several OC's which I know isn't everyone's cup of tea, it usually isn't mine either, but it's done so well and with so much care, that it genuinely feels like those characters were there all along, that they were always meant to be there, and the author integrates them so well that you can see how those characters could've influenced Shen Wei. Like, they weren't present in the show, their names aren't mentioned anywhere in the wiki page, but you can still somehow see where their hands have guided and supported and healed Shen Wei.

The fic is 68,662 words long, split over seven chapters, each chapter being a different part of Shen Wei's history and told through the perspective of a different character. The author is good at providing specific warnings before the start of each chapter, but please check the tags and archive warnings as well and keep yourself safe!!

Anyways, 100/10 would recommend!! Genuinely one of the best fics I've ever read, and also one of the best stories (or rather, collections of stories) I've ever read too. I will be thinking about it for days and weeks to come, and will be reading it again.

Title: a hand within a hand (holding light)

Author: @forerussake

Summary: Shen Wei doesn’t remember the face of every single person who’s ever helped him. He tries. He really does. Shen Wei tries to remember, but he doesn’t always manage. Perhaps it’s cowardice, or perhaps it’s his mind’s own way of trying to protect him. There are only so many memories a mind can store before it starts to fray around the edges after all. So he remembers the truly important faces. He dreams of them sometimes – Fu You, Ma Gui, Kunlun, not his own parents though, somehow never his parents – and others have faded away with time.

No, Shen Wei does not remember the names and faces of every single person who’s ever helped him, but he remembers some, and they remember him in turn.

or, a catalogue of unassuming strangers and their stories of helping Shen Wei.

[laysdimplesareillegal]

Character Development: Chapter 6

Some Days in the Life

Pairing: Monsta X Changkyun x Reader

Word Count: 

Warnings: yandere themes, kidnapping, general delusion, angst

Character Development Masterlist

Everyday Changkyun and I found a new topic to fight about.

Day 2 with Changkyun

I was sat down on the couch flipping through TV channels. Changkyun messed around in the kitchen before coming to stand behind the couch, hands resting on the back. I continued browsing the channels. We fought over the remote when I landed on the news because, “this is boring and depressing, let's watch a drama!”

But I needed something to connect me to the outside world. Changkyun wandered around behind me opening and closing cabinets in the kitchen, probably looking for a snack. And then I saw it—my picture was blown up to fill the TV screen. It shrank down as the newscaster broke down the story of a young woman—me— “proclaimed missing three days ago.”

If I was standing, I would have been knocked off my feet. A fire re-ignited within me; I wanted to turn around and lunge at Changkyun. The police have probably already given up hope looking for me. What was everyone thinking right now—never mind, I knew. At this point, people are thinking I’m buried in some shallow grave. I could envision people crying, and people who barely knew me reminiscing about “that time.” Sure, I’d thought about this before, but I was also so wrapped up in the fact that, at first, I was more or less safe.

“That’s a nice picture of you,” Changkyun muses, “when is that from?” He was sick and callous.

“Did you know this was on the news?” I screamed at him. I didn’t wait for his answer. “This is you! You’re a criminal and this is your crime do you know that? People think I’m dead and you stand here casually asking when I took this picture! You’re soulless!” I felt angry and sad and cursed, and I wanted to run all the way home Surprise, my accounts got hacked or I went camping or some excuse that could cover up being off the grid for 10 days so I wouldn’t have to ever think of Changkyun again, let alone relay the story to someone. Changkyun stood there, arms crossed. Are you done yet was visible on the tip of his tongue while he waited for me to finish.

Day Three with Changkyun: Family

“Just let me tell them I’m still alive!” I begged. “A text or a letter.”

“No.” I imagined Changkyun wearing a cloak and flourishing it while he walked away, I imagine he would be that melodramatic given the chance.

Soon he got sick of me pestering him on this, opting to blow up at me. “Why do you care about them so much? If they really loved you, they would have found you already! I had to search everywhere for you when you left school!” after pointing this bullshit, he stopped yelling. “Besides, no one just runs away for a couple weeks. We’ll go see them once you’re settled here.”

“You mean once you've finished brainwashing me?”

“You’re just scared of change.”

I threw my hands up in frustration, “Stop acting like you know what I’m feeling. I’m scared–” I growled “–of you!”

Promptly, Changkyun delivered a hard slap to my face. “I’m protecting you" I looked at him. “You’re absurd, what was that then?” I held my cheek

“There’s a lot more than that waiting out there for you.”

“Are you threatening me? You make no sense” I yelled. Again, he held up his hand prompting me to shut my mouth.

“I did it to show you what it feels like when you say such mean things to me.” Changkyun had big sad eyes as he soothingly rubbed the hand he hit me with, still red from the impact.

Day Four with Changkyun: Going Outside

“I want to go outside.” I stood in front of him while he lounged on the couch.

“No.” His favorite word.

“Just in the backyard. I’ll stay on the patio.” He ignored me.

Trailing behind him all day, begging, whining–even crying, all amounted to nothing. I felt like a toddler.

“I want to go outside!” I slammed my hand on his desk, not missing a beat, Changkyun grabbed me by the wrist and yanked me down. Losing my balance, I dropped hard onto the desk while he pulled my arm taught to his side. “My niece understands no better than you do.”

It crossed my mind that he’d never mentioned having siblings, nonetheless nieces or nephews, but his family tree wasn’t my first priority at the moment.

“You never even asked if I’d go with you.” I open my mouth, but he cut me off, “I won’t. Maybe if you were good, sweet, obedient for more than an hour I’d reward you and we would go outside. Together.” I debated if this trade-off was worth it. Obedience or House Arrest? He watched me weigh the two in my mind. “We’re a long ways away from going outside. That’s more of a…” he guided my hand back between us “final reward for you.” I jerked my hand back and stood up fully. “Now, stop asking.”

Day Five with Changkyun: Sleeping Arrangements 

“I hate waking up next to you.” I threw out while eating breakfast. He was not impressed, and knew where I was going with this conversation.

“You’re not staying in one of the other rooms.”

“Why?”

“Because we love each other, and when people loved each other, they share a space.”

“I don’t–” Changkyun’s glare cut me off. “I don’t want to live with someone before we’re married.” I deterred.

Changkyun scoffed. “Come on, I know you.”

After that, we ate quietly. It was surprising Changkyun hadn’t exploded already. On cue,

“Why does nothing satisfy you!?” He hit the table. Silverware rattled “I could give you the world and you’d still ask for more.” I cringed, was I really that selfish? “Can’t you let me have one thing?”

“I’m right here.” I murmured sarcastically to myself. He’s asking a lot from a prisoner. He wasn’t meant to hear me.

“And I’m asking you to see me and understand that everything I do is for you. Please stop antagonizing me.”

Then stop being an antagonist I huffed. Maybe I could stand to complain a little less, then maybe I could get one of those rewards he’s always holding over my head.

Day Six with Changkyun: Activities

“I’m bored.”

Changkyun looked up at me from his phone. We sat together on the couch, my legs across his lap as his CD played. He claimed he was responding to work emails, but that couldn’t be all he was doing on his phone. My fingers itched, I craved it like comfort food, like a breath of air after drowning. Of course, he noticed my eyeing his phone. Smoothly, he turned it off and slid it into his sweatshirt pocket.

He rubbed my leg “I can think of a few things to do.” he wore an indecorous smile.

“No.” I pulled my legs in, he playfully tugged them back, yet not moving to do anything else. “What do you even have do here?” I tried to change the subject.

“Well, when I’m not learning about you,” ah yes of course “I work, make music, I work out.”

And I could tell.

While Changkyun typically wore sweatshirts and large baggy hoodies, he also wore his fair share of compression shirts that stretched tight over his chest and arms. Not to mention how they accentuated his small waist. Changkyun saw my eyes trailing to where the zipper of his hood stood, exposing his collarbone but little else.

“Should I take it off, Changkyun challenged.

“Shut up. You never even leave to go to the gym.” I don't want to admit I’d even spared a glance at him.

“Why would I when I have one here?” He l took his phone back out.

“What? Where?” I wasn’t convinced.

“Through the kitchen.”

“The garage?”

“I just wrote that so you wouldn’t try to go in there.”

[autisticempathydaemon]

For the Redacted match-up! ^_^

A song I’m currently fixated on: “the lakes” by Taylor Swift. The whole song is just so beautiful and wistful. 😭 And something about the melody of these lyrics just hits so right.

Specific lyrics: “I want auroras and sad prose/I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet/Cause I haven’t moved in years/And I want you right here”

Enneagram type: 6w7. (And just for fun, I’m an ISFP as well)

YouTube essays: I don’t think I can focus my attention on a video for that long, tbh. It’s the same reason I can rarely get through movies in one siting. 😂

Imaginary childhood friend: I think her name was Amy? Don’t remember much else, though.

Falling asleep: I always sleep with my fan on, no matter the weather. I have to have the white noise, otherwise it’s just too damn quiet in my room. Usually I’m propped up by two pillows, cuddling one of my stuffed animals or something. If find that I can’t sleep, or just want something to fall asleep to, I’ll put on one of Redacted’s sleep-aids.

Name change: Cheesy as it sounds, if I didn’t have my current name, I’d love to be named Juliet. It just has such Main Character Energy™️ (and I mean that in a good way) and is freakin’ romantic as hell to me. (And yes, I’m aware that the play is a tragedy, not a romance. 😂)

Favorite Redacted audio: If I had to pick one, I think “Serenity Daemon Helps You Relax and Sleep”. That video is just so freaking comforting and sweet, and it’s knocked me out more times than I can count.

Redacted boi with no appeal: Regulus. Yanderes just aren’t my thing, and he legit scares me. 😅

Book/Movie/TV show you could quote entirely: I’ve watched The Breakfast Club so many times, I could quote it forwards, backwards, and sideways.

Redacted BFF: Elliott. Take away the “Lovers” aspect of his relationship with Sunshine, but keep all the playfulness, teasing, and banter that they have together, and I’d be perfectly happy. 😊

(It’s also a really perfect coincidence that Eli’s said he’s the “Protector” type, and I just so happen to like being protected. XD)

Go-to tired ramble: Most of the time when my any of my friends and I would have a sleepover and it was late at night, we’d just get really deep and start talking about life.

Go-to gas station combo: I try to avoid gas stations when I can, just because I hate the smell of gasoline. But I’d probably get a plain Hershey bar and a bottle of water. (I know, I’m boring. 😂)

Favorite playlist: Do you mean Redacted, or just in general? Because the answer depends.

For a general answer, Jacksepticeye’s play through of Night In The Woods. That game is honestly such a comfort one for me, and I can watch that playlist a million times over and never get tired of it.

In terms of Redacted, Ollie’s. If there’s angst abound on the channel, or I’ve just had a bad day at work or something, I can run to his playlist and feel like I’m getting a big, warm, metaphorical hug. 🥰

Guilty Pleasure: I still read, and love, young adult novels. I don’t care that they’re “predictable”, and that I’m “too old to be reading them”. You can pry those fluffy, romantic, cheesy-ass books from my cold dead hands. 😆

Anything else about me:

I seriously think I’m the biggest Swiftie I know. When I say I’m obsessed with her music, I am not kidding. 😂

I’m a huge musical nerd. And coupled with that, I love, love, love to sing. (Provided I know that no one’s listening, anyway.)

I’m a total introvert, and am pretty shy/quiet in general, unless I’m around my friends.

My love languages are quality time and physical touch.

I maaaaay or may not have a slight candle obsession. (Bath and Body Works ones, specifically.) Seriously, I have like, four unburned 3-wick candles sitting on my dresser, and I’m convinced I just like to collect/look at them as opposed to actually lighting the things. 😂

I’m a cat person through and through

This one’s random, but I felt like adding it anyway. I basically live in one beat up pair of combat boots. There are not a lot of shoes in my closet.

I have this thing where I either tear through a TV series in like, a few days, or I don’t touch it for months. The same with books. I don’t know why I do that. 😂

My favorite colors are blue and purple 💙💜

Well, if you’re a cat kind of guy (gn), you know that’s gonna make things easy for me! Though it might not be the boy you think, because I’ve got a case to make for you and Milo Greer.

What I really like about y’all is how the things y’all like (other than cats) contrast and how cute that contrast is. Like, I don’t think Milo’s a Swiftie but man shows up and shows out to take you to her Eras tour. The Breakfast Club isn’t his favorite movie, but he’s seen it with Marie; he’ll say the iconic lines with you when y’all watch it for the hundredth time. He doesn’t really love musicals but he can hum along to Alexander Hamilton with the best of them because that’s an ensemble piece and you need a backup singer.

Milo’s just a really great boyfriend who shows love with a combination of Quality Time and Acts of Service with little sprinkles of Gifts. It’s not just time spent with you, it’s time spent engaging in the things that interest you and make you happy. It’s the time thinking of you when you’re apart and bringing home fun, new candles he saw at the store. Although he is definitely not opposed to physical touch- y’all have a lot of cuddle nights, just you and him and Aggro.

Song:

However big, however small/ Let me be part of it all/ Share your dreams with me/ You may be right, you may be wrong/ But say that you'll bring me along/ To the world you see/ To the world I close my eyes to see

Now, I said Milo’s not really a musical man. You know what he is? A bisexual king with good taste, which means he loves you and a good Hugh Jackman flick especially since Zac Efron is involved. So I think he’s a big fan of The Greatest Showman and of singing the addictive, earworm-y songs with you. A Million Dreams is the sentimental choice, but y’all go fuckin hard to This is Me.

Runner-Ups:

Guy is absolutely a Swiftie and a musical theater kid, okay? Erik hasn’t confirmed it, but I know it in my spleen to be true, so he’s a fantastic runner-up for that reason. Vincent is a runner-up because he adores but despises that you stick to one pair of torn-up shoes and constantly showers you in luxury footwear. I think that’s cute.

note: I understand you completely candles are not just scent pieces they are decor

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[translationandbetrayals]

Howl's Moving Castle, BPD and why representation matters.

I remember watching Howl's Moving Castle for the first time at a very young age (my father raised me and my brother watching Ghibli's films religiously) and immediately feeling some kind of understanding of the character in a way I've never did before. I have struggled with emotional disregulation all my life, being called dramatic and even hysterical since I was a child. So, the first time I saw Howl having the "temper tantrum" moment over a small inconvenience was something that made me think "he's like me" really quickly. Obviously, as an eight year old, the thought wasn't really developed much further, and my attention was more drawn to the beautiful scenery and this idea of everlasting love that many young girls dream about. However, as I grew up re watching the film over and over again, things started to click.

The first time I received a pre diagnosis for BPD I was around 14 years old, although my first official diagnosis wasn't until I was 19, since you can't be diagnosed with a personality disorder before you are an adult.

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), Borderline Personality Disorder is a a "pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity, beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts". To receive a diagnosis, one should typically meet at least five out of nine symptoms.

Cluster B personality disorders are some of the most stigmatized mental illnesses, especially by their depictions in popular media. You get characters that fall under the "unstable villain" category, or somewhere closer to the "manic pixie dream girl" trope, both harmful stereotypes that affect the way people perceive patients that have BPD. One should also take into account that mental health issues are just starting to become more normalized topics of discussion, so most people in the past only had films and TV shows to form a mental image of what mental disorders look like in real life.

Please note that further on, I will be discussing mostly headcanons, as this character has never been confirmed to be neurodivergent and probably never will. So, this is just my opinion as an anime fan and a person with BPD, and you're totally entitled to disagreeing with me.

Going back to my personal experience, I remember watching the film in 2019, shortly after receiving my official BPD diagnosis, so the topic was really present in my mind at the time. I found that the way I related to this character was heavily linked with his emotional complexities, but I also felt a sense of comfort by watching him develop as a human being in a supportive environment. I quickly realized that the thing that made Howl different from other characters I related to was, precisely, that he was mostly presented in a really positive light. He was, after all, charming, loving and protective of his found family. He was complex and nuanced, but genuinely loved as well. This solidified him as one of my all time favorite characters, and now I'd like to discuss his personality traits linked to BPD criteria.

Chronic feelings of emptiness.

Howl exhibits this one frequently during the film. From his constant questioning about his role in the war that he's forced to participate in, to the depressive-like state in which he is portrayed while laying in his bedroom, with Sophie trying to get him out of bed. A lot of people with this disorder often feel like life has no inherent meaning when they're not engaged in risky behavior, not being able to really explain the source of this lethargy that prevents them from doing things or even be excited about daily life events. This emptiness comes from deep within and can be the reason why they seek filling the void with all sort of what could be considered as harmful behavior patterns.

Feelings of dissociation, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside one’s body, or feelings of unreality. Transient, stress-related paranoid idealization or severe dissociative symptoms.

Somewhat linked to the first symptom, Howl does fluctuate between complete disconnection from himself and his body, and high paranoia about losing himself to the horrors of war, and also being harmed by the queen and her curse. This might be a reach, but I also see it in the way his heart is physically separate from his body in the form of Calcifer. One can feel as if their emotions are so out of control that they seem to be someone else's, or that they act separately from one's will. This dissociative state also prevents patients from actually realizing how harmful their decisions and actions can actually be.

Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events (e.g., intense episodic sadness, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

This is one of the most obvious throughout the film. He can appear completely numb in one scene, then frantic in the next one, then happy and loving towards others, then enraged. As emotional disregulation happens very often to people with BPD, these intense and changing emotions drains us of our energy, and is extremely hard to manage without proper medical aid such as behavioral therapy. Some people do look at some sort of bright side of this experience, where we feel happiness and joy just as profoundly as other emotions.

Frantic efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment, such as plunging headfirst into relationships—or ending them just as quickly.

This one doesn't need a lot of explaining. Howl constantly seeks Sophie's reassurance and is totally willing to change his lifestyle and his home just to make her comfortable enough so she doesn't leave. This can come across as sweet, genuine displays of his love for her, but in real life, a person with BPD can lose themselves in the process of avoiding their loved ones leaving. The constant gifts and changes with only Sophie's well being in mind wouldn't be sustainable in a world without Howl's magical powers, after all.

Identity disturbance with markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

Here we have the iconic green slime meltdown scene. He, quite literally, cannot cope with the idea of his hair changing without his control. This comes across as his vanity coming to life, but I feel like there's a deeper sense to it. When he says he sees "no point in living if he can't be beautiful" he means it: he has built a great part of his identity around being perceived as pretty. This is really common among people with BPD, where the lack of a stability in identity can be overcompensated via physical appearance and presenting oneself as desirable. He acts like the world is ending because for him it is, not because he cares more about his looks than anything else.

Impulsive behavior in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).

Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats, or self-harming behavior.

I'm including this two symptoms together because the way they're portrayed overlaps a lot. The way Howl acts around participating in the war comes across as just a way to endanger himself, as he explicitly says that he's not interested in the political implications of the conflict. However he keeps going into battle, transformed into the monster-like shape which Calcifer keeps pointing out as dangerous and that it could be potentially irreversible. His sense of duty towards a country is also absent (he, quite literally, plays a part in both sides) so one can only speculate what are his true motives to expose himself to deathly situations. To me, it is just the idea of danger that is appealing, these impulses to self harm whenever the opportunity arises.

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

This one I also see in his monster shape: full of wrath and estrangement from everything he holds dear. When the transformation is complete, he's no longer himself, just a terrifying form of anger. People with BPD sometimes do feel like their emotions, especially rage, makes them a completely different person, harmful to themselves and others as well.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation (also known as "splitting").

For this one, you have to read a bit between the lines. At the start of the film, Sophie talks with her sister about Howl and his desire to "eat beautiful women's hearts". A lot of people with BPD jump from one relationship right into a new one, partly because of this seeking of filling the emotional void they feel, partly because of their impulsiveness. Earliest versions of the DSM referred to this as being promiscuous, and although this can have quite misogynistic undertones (as a majority of people diagnosed with BPD are women or assigned female at birth), risky sexual behavior is also a part of the symptoms that can be present in the disorder. Of course, this film is rated PG and I'm only analyzing the character through my own experience with the disorder, but this is a subtextual hint that I can see.

Even though the following two topics aren't considered diagnostic criteria, it seems important to mention them as they are commonly shared experiences among people with BPD.

First, a complex relationship with family and the idea of it. People with BPD often grow up in dysfunctional or hostile environments, one of the speculated causes of the disorder. As they navigate towards adulthood, the once neglected or abused child develops somewhat of a mixed-feelings type of relationship with families, some of us reject the concept as it brings up painful memories, and some of us become especially protective of or likely to "adopt" vulnerable children in our environments, as we see ourselves in them, and we're offered the chance to be the adult we needed but didn't have.

We know that Howl comes from a background that is, to say the least, neglectful. He raises himself in his uncle's cottage, and then he's placed under Madame Sulliman's care, a woman that is exploitative towards him in many ways. We know little else about his family background, at least in the film. However, as he becomes an adult, he quite literally adopts Markl, a young boy, as his apprentice. Towards the ending of the film we see that they have a bond that can only be described as familiar, he's protective towards Mark, and in the final scenes we see the characters acting like a happy family. This is one of the more positive aspects that can stem from the disorder, and that the film portrays in a really positive, wholesome way.

Second, the concept of a "favorite person" or FP. A FP is a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes. This is very different from having a best friend or a partner you love deeply, as FPs become the center of the person's life and directly influences their mood, their behavior, even their sense of self. One feels as if they simply cannot live without this person, not in the romantic sense, but quite literally. This leads to an intensification of symptoms such as impulsive behavior and fear of abandonment.

Sophie is, by all means, Howl's favorite person. Taking the whole time travel trope aside, he falls really quickly and deeply for her, and as I've mentioned before, changes his whole perspective in life because of this love. He tells her that the new most important thing in the world for him is now to protect her, and goes to war a last time just to fulfill this purpose. Sophie also has the ability to directly influence Howl's mood in a way no other character can. The important detail to note here is that, where this can be a toxic or obsessive behavior pattern to people with unmanaged BPD, here Howl learns how to navigate this newly found love and all his other emotions in a healthy way, after his heart is back on his chest. This is not automatic, he expresses the burden of this new heart, but he will gradually become accustomed to it, and this leaves you with the feeling that he's actually growing and evolving as a character, rather than things magically solving themselves when the star-crossed lovers get together.

So, why does any of this matter? Well, to me it does because of a few reasons. But this is the main one: I'm not the only person that has noticed this similarities between Howl's character arc and this disorder. Many neurodivergent and mentally ill people tend to look at characters that act similarly to them and think to themselves "hey, that's me". This innocent gesture of identifying oneself in media is really common, but for groups of people that are often marginalized, stigmatized or isolated, it becomes a sort of coping mechanism. Our experiences don't appear in your regular happy coming of age film, and we're too often forced to identify with either the villain or the really, really morally questionable characters. So, to see yourself in a character that is as loved as Howl (one of the anime community's official heartthrobs) can be really healing. After all, he's one of the good guys, and he gets his happy ending.

To conclude, I really recommend you go watch this film if you haven't already, and if you happen to watch it again in the future after you read this post, I hope I was able to give you a new perspective.

Sources used in this post: 

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder#:~:text=A%20pattern%20of%20intense%20and,reckless%20driving%2C%20and%20binge%20eating. 

https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/what-is-bpd/bpd-overview/ 

https://www.theravive.com/therapedia/borderline-personality-disorder-dsm--5-301.83-(f60.3)#:~:text=The%20DSM%2D5%20describes%20Borderline,American%20Psychiatric%20Association%2C%202013).

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms/

https://www.verywellmind.com/borderline-personality-disorder-diagnosis-42517

Melián Trujillo.

[sweetcitrusboi]

I just watched the finale yesterday guys and literally I cried bc seeing Dean on my screen again it made me so unbelievably happy that I was just shedding tears. But first of all I’m so happy that my theories on the Winchesters was right. At first we were all confused on how the Winchesters wouldn’t retcon canon. And I just assumed that the Winchesters would be set in one of Chuck’s other storyline universes that he thought about playing around with but just dropped the idea. Bc we already know there are multiple universes in spn, with multiple different endings. So I’m glad I was right about that (feeling super smart, yes). 

Also I fcking knew this man had a plan!! Unfortunately it wasn’t some romance with past Cas and Dean time traveling. But it was literally fcking Jensen admitting on tv that he didn’t see the finale as his happy ending. I literally was babbling at this point y’all while watching 1x13. This man made this whole series into a fix it fic basically. Y’all were doubting the Winchester’s and this man was scheming the whole time. And I love tht for him. 

I cried even more seeing Baby on my screen and then when Jack fcking appeared and did his little wave I literally couldn’t stop crying until the episode ended. Jack basically came to scold his dad on messing with the universes again. That made me so happy but so sad bc imagine if Cas was next to him and both of them are just like squinting disapprovingly bc he’s being such a hunter again. 

Also Jack fixed heaven but accidentally left an opening between worlds which is so chaotic but we’ll ignore that little mishap since he’s only 4. But Dean saying “I just decided to give it a little nudge” was amazing and such Dean behavior. Bc even in heaven he’s still gonna have his little hunter ways about himself. But him also being restless and admitting that heaven shouldn’t have been his happy ending really hurts honestly. Dean deserved so much more and not only that he was looking for a happy ending for his family in general. So many characters deserved a happy ending and we never got to see that for them. And we all know Cas especially deserved one,,

But moving on to some little things I’ve noticed in this episode and wanted to talk about which first of all Dean’s appearance. I seen comments saying that this is Dean dressed as Jensen which, yes you’re kinda right. But Jensen is such a good actor that it doesn’t matter what type of clothes Dean is wearing, we’ll still know it’s Dean. But my point for why he was dressed like that is bc this is Dean finally being able to relax. And that plays into his appearance. Clothing was an important thing to notice in Supernatural. Especially on Dean’s character. He’s always wearing layer after layer as some form of protection between himself and others. And we know it’s basic hunter attire but for Dean this was a form of comfort. And I know I’m not the only one who noticed that Dean added a few more layers over the years especially after Hell. I always imagined that when Dean was finally able to live the life he deserved he would shed some of those layers that he used to cover himself bc he didn’t feel like he needed the safety net of his clothes anymore. It was alright to want to wear softer clothing or even show some skin. I also felt he wore a lot of layers bc of insecurities, especially involving scars on his body. And seeing Dean in heaven wearing much softer clothing with his hair grown out is basically Dean started to let go and just be. So I know y’all complaining about him not being dressed as Dean but literally think about how this is what Jensen wants Dean to look like. He wants to show us a relaxed happy Dean. 

Also I seen some of y’all complain about Sam not appearing in the Winchesters and now that we know it’s based around the time Sam was still alive, please stop fcking complaining. With the way the show was set up it wouldn’t make sense for Sam to appear bc he basically quit hunting after Dean died and went to play family with the blurry woman. So let Jensen write the story the way he wants, please. 

Also Baby slayed in this episode. I was crying seeing her as well. Looking amazing and polished as always and, her being Dean and Mary’s protection while in the portal. Her basically being the thing that gets rid of the Akrida Queen. Like she played an important part and I was so happy to see her. 

Jumping back to family though, when we see Jack and the way Dean introduces him and Bobby as his family (I was crying more btw). The way Jack scolded him but it’s still so light hearted and Dean looks happy too see him. It makes me happy knowing they probably got to actually reconcile in heaven. I was always so upset over Dean and Jack not actually getting to talk it out. Especially since Dean is a caretaker and Jack saw him as his father as well and the last episodes of s15 was pain for all us, especially with the way Dean was acting. I mean the last few episodes ripped away the feeling of “found family” that spn was built off of.  

The Winchesters finale basically gave us back what taken from us in spn’s finale. Which was found family, love, and free will.  I know not everybody was enthusiastic about watching John and Mary’s love story at the beginning. But I’m glad I personally watched the show. Everyone did such an amazing job, and knowing their universe is where everyone might get the actual happy ending they deserve makes that pain just a little a bit less.

I’m still going to be crying knowing that Dean was traveling through different universes looking for a happy ending for his family but also a happy ending for him and Cas. 

[theadorationofmars]

The World we Lost, the World we Got  - The Walking Dead AU

*TW: Themes of abuse, suicide, violence, sa

A/N: Hey all, this will be my first The Walking Dead fic ever, inspired by my recent venture into rewatching the TV shows and reading the comics. A lot of these themes I’m writing in this I’m definitely a novice at, but I hope you guys enjoy it! I’m not sure yet how much of this will follow the full plotline, it’s more of my characters immersed in their world and seeing how the plot changes as a result of that.

Summary: S6 Alexandria. At the start of the apocalypse, James was a 17 year-old girl living in a halfway house in Atlanta with her mom. As the years pass, James transforms into someone who is merely a shadow of that once scared young girl. 

“When I was little, my mom was terrified of driving. And I mean terrified. If she ever had to get behind the wheel, tears would roll down her face and she’d start praying like it was last day on Earth. Her hands would shake, and to be honest, I was always scared that she’d lose her grip on the wheel and we’d veer off the road from her sheer nerves alone. Just as she was terrified of driving, my father was a terrifying driver.

It wasn’t because he was bad at it- no, he was pretty good, the things I’ve seen him do.” A humorless chuckle filtered out through my mouth.

“He would threaten us, me and my mom. ‘See that little boy there?’ He asked us once. ‘If you don’t shut your goddamn mouth up about that fucking Chatty Cathy from down the fucking street seeing your goddamn black eye I’m going to ram straight into this boy and it’ll be all your fault.”

“He never hit the boy, but he came awfully close. My mom-” a few tears threatened to run down my face, and I felt the strangulation of painful memories beginning to tighten its grip. “My mom had to grab the wheel and swerve onto the other lane to avoid him.” I was kneeling on the ground, gravel digging into my knees, head inclined downwards, eyes shut as to relive that day behind closed curtains. “The kid was barely five,” I whispered out, words scrunched together. 

“We didn’t him him, but we were going so fast that when we swerved into the other lane, the car behind us didn’t have any time to react.”

I let myself peer out a sideways glance through the protective cascade of hair that had befallen over my expression, but I was not brave enough to fully follow through and scan the watchful eyes of the people before me. 

“There was blood everywhere... screaming, tires screeching. And my Dad, oh- my fucking DAD! He just kept on fucking driving!

We went on home, my Mom and I scared shitless. I didn’t understand how to cope with anything like that at my age, but I understood the severity of the situation, so it was good I didn’t cry. But my mom, she couldn’t stop sobbing, couldn’t stop replaying that scene over and over in her head… she got the beating of her life.

I still remember my Dad screaming at her, telling her it was her fault for killing that boy.

Next thing I remember she’s passed out on the floor with blood dripping from her head and my Dad standing over her body. I didn’t see the shotgun in his hand, but I saw it when he put it in his mouth.

Yet instead of a gunshot, all I heard was a knocking on the door. Guess who it was?

Cathy. She heard all of the commotion and came to check up on us. My Dad must have had a moment of clarity then, because he pushed past her and never came back.

We were lucky Cathy was a nurse. She saw Mom on the ground, saw she was breathing, checked to make sure if I was okay, and then stitched her up real good. As soon as she recovered, we never looked back.

When my Mom got in that car for the last time, she wasn’t scared. It was weird, not seeing her pray, not a single emotion or thought present on her face. She drove real steady that day, and parked it right in front of Atlanta P.D. with a note on the dash.

Our next stop? A halfway house for ‘disadvantaged’ women and children. We were there for about a month. For a few years after, we were in and out of there, my Mom never able to find something stable, and still with a fucking baaad taste in guys.

Finally, to end this long story, we were, guess where? Back in that goddamned halfway house when the shit hit the fan.

Maybe about a day or two after the news of the virus was on TV, family members started showing up, collecting their wives, mothers, sisters, nephews, grandkids, whatever.

A lot of those piece of shit husbands didn’t show up, however. Some of those women cried, still holding onto hope that their dickbag husbands loved them and would come rescue them. And, of course, there were the dangerous ones. The women we fought tooth-and-nail for to avoid them getting in the hands of their shitty husbands.

Once the news stopped broadcasting, we saw the sick walk. We holed up inside, families still coming to the rescue.

But there was this one guy, he managed to get his little girl out of there, but his wife would not budge. Susanna. She was so sweet, so scared. He had almost beat her to death twice, and he was still sickly enamored with her.”

In the middle of my speech, I only took one pause to think about the woman that Susanna was. I traced the gravel around me with my fingers, tranced in the thought of how in that horrific moment Susanna had never been more frail. 

Around me, I could hear the heavy breathing of the people that were either my friends or my enemies. It wasn’t common for me to bare my soul so freely, not even to myself, but I had felt a burden lift off my chest when I found this place, and these people demanded answers. Their weapons were still out, slick with blood, and I knew that if I was worth anything good, they’d be the right judge of me. 

“He reminded of my Dad,” I started. “Behind him, one of the sick walked up, biting the air and dragging his feet slowly, but the guy would not kill it. Not until Susanna moved. All she could do was pray and sob, paralyzed by fear. So then he threatened to kill the little girl, feed it to the sick one.

Where was I in all this? Right in the middle of it, and all I could see was the millions of times where my father made an ultimatum my mother and I weren’t comfortable with. The day where my Dad had crossed the line. And then I remembered when he had the shotgun in his hand, standing over my mother’s body, probably not sure whether to finish the job or just end his own life. Until Cathy barged in. 

So I killed that guy. I made the decision for him and that little girl and Susanna, so she could live and she would finally be free.

I made the decision to leave that hell-hole, and fucking murdered the rest of those piece of shit husbands I ever came into contact with.

You ask me how many walkers I’ve killed? Dozens, hundreds, thousands.

How many people I’ve killed?

Seven, at least at the start. A handful of others, too, that came much later. 

Why?

Because I’d regret seeing them all still living.”

I finally gathered the courage to look up, and I scanned the faces of the few people around me, making eye contact with each one. The man in front of me, the leader, I presumed, stared at me with his mouth pursed and pensive eyes. 

I glanced around the others, and despite my hard-shelled exterior, I was silently begging for one of them to speak up and break the tension. If this was one of their tactics, I praised them. Keep the tension building, and the one under it can crack in the oddest of ways. 

I gazed one final time into the eyes of the man before me, and set my stony gaze on the face of the woman next to him. “Hi, Carol,” I smiled.

[ojcobsessed]

TVLINE | Surface is such a captivating mystery full of juicy twists and turns. What was it about the project or character that immediately pulled you in? OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN | I guess it was the script. I don’t think I’ve read anything that was so compelling and such a page-turner to read. It started with that, but there were so many factors. There was Sam Miller, who was our main director and did most of I May Destroy You (which I thought was the greatest show of 2020). It’s him and Gugu [Mbatha-Raw] and [production company] Hello Sunshine — I think they’re incredible producers over there. It was a combination of all of it.

Ultimately, I loved the idea. I think it was such a brilliant concept to have your lead character not know anything about herself and all of these people around her holding all of these secrets. I think that’s such an interesting premise. So with James, there was so much to get into of how much he’s withholding and when we choose for him to share what he’s holding back. If he ever tells the truth, what is he protecting? What is he hiding? There are so many different and exciting layers in there, I just really wanted to be a part of it.

TVLINE | At the start of the series, how would you describe the marriage between Sophie and James? To the outside, it’s this sort of picture-perfect life that they live. They have this incredible house, this money, they have all of the outwardly material stuff that anyone could aspire to. But there’s something fragmented within their relationship. James is so busy using all of his energy to cover up and sort of paste over it. I think [creator] Veronica [West] does that very, very well. She writes the intricacies of secrets that are withheld within relationships and why they’re withheld. There’s something incredibly broken — I guess that’s probably the best word for it — about their relationship.

TVLINE | You mentioned Gugu. How was it working with her, and how did you two navigate the rollercoaster of emotions these characters go through? There was a period of time in August, I think it was about six weeks, where every single day we were going into work and it was like ripping our hearts open. Then you go home, get up the next day and do the same thing over and over. Gugu’s incredible. Gugu and I met probably about 15 years ago. I think it was her first job and my first TV job. So we had sort of known each other and seen each other over the years. We’d already had a friendship from before so I think that always helps jumping in and trying to build relationships and trust and all of that stuff.

TVLINE | For so much of the series, it’s unclear whether James can be trusted. What went into playing up that back-and-forth between a hard-edged guy with loads of secrets and a heartbroken husband that we simultaneously want to sympathize with? You know what? I don’t think I did. I actually think all of that comes down to an edit. [Laughs] If someone puts a coat over someone’s shoulders, that can seem like an act of kindness, but it can also seem like possessiveness. It never felt right in the show to play up any part that was inauthentic. We didn’t want to push things, that felt like a cheap trick. What we wanted to achieve was that people would watch the season and then go back to the beginning and watch it again and see how it was all so clear from the get-go. So at times, I think there’s credible power in withholding information, and regardless of what the intention is, that can be interpreted so many different ways, so we would play with that. What is it that happened that day? What is it that is said that then triggered something that can be a painful memory that then registers as menacing behavior? So it was all about trying to paint the colors in where we needed them.

TVLINE | Did you draw from any other mysteries or psychological thrillers when crafting this character? I don’t know necessarily if I had any in mind. I’m always a bit wary of trying to take inspiration from work that’s already been done. I think it felt very important to just deal with the task that was Surface. But there was a documentary called Tell Me Who I Am on Netflix. I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but it’s a harrowing film about twin brothers who had a horrific childhood, grew up, and then one of the brothers had a motorcycle accident and lost his memory. So the other brother filled him in but told him only the good bits and left out all of the bad bits that happened to them. It’s such an interesting documentary because it follows the cost of holding on to that secret and having to bear the brunt of that in order to protect someone else. That felt incredibly apt for our show. I watched that and that sparked a bunch of stuff in terms of the approach to James and Surface.

TVLINE | I haven’t seen it, but I’ll check that out. It’s horrific, though, be careful!

TVLINE | What does this series say about trust in relationships? So much! I’m not married, but friends I know that are married and have been together for a long time, you start to realize there are things that are not necessarily said to one another, that are withheld. Secrets exist. And the bigger the secrets, the bigger the gap between the two people in the relationship. I think the show deals with that in a very human way where. It’s very interesting for Gugu, playing a character who basically wakes up in a world surrounded by people she’s been told she should trust but she can’t. She has to go out and make her own decisions about it.

TVLINE | James is such a loaded character. How are viewers going to perceive him after everything’s said and done? I think stuff like this is very interesting. I did a show about two years ago for Netflix where I played the quote-unquote villain [The Haunting of Bly Manor], and it was very interesting to see how an audience responded to that character because he was an absolute piece of s–t. But it’s boring watching someone be the villain. I’m interested in the gray area in between that. If I’m honest, I’m quite scared to see how people respond [to James], because I do think… I’m sure there’ll be certain people who have sympathy for him, but again, it lives in this gray area where, without spoiling too much, it can be perceived in so many different ways, so I don’t know! Why don’t you call me back in September and I’ll let you know!

TVLINE | I’m sure Twitter and Reddit will have a field day with this guy. I’ll be throwing my phone in the ocean by then. [Laughs]

TVLINE | Without spoiling anything, can you give readers a tease for what’s in store for them? Oh my God! It’s just doesn’t go where you think it’s going to. Episodes 7 and 8 are like a whole day at Six Flags. It’s so insane what goes on in those episodes. Just when you think you’ve got a handle on it, it then flips the tables on itself. It’s quite a stressful and delicious experience!