#i just want things to go back to how they were...i was happy then...why does everything go to shit for me...did i do something wrong...?

[aperrywilliams]

My Lover Boy (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

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Author Masterlist

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Request: "Can you write something super angsty, like the reader and Spencer have something going on, but technically, they're just friends, and then everything with Lila Archer happens? She's sad but tries not to show it to him, and he is mad at himself for getting with Lila. Derek is teasing him, and it's super angsty, but it all ends up okay."

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.

Summary: You think something is going on with Spencer, something beyond friendship. But you start to question it when a case in LA pushes Spencer to spend time with Lila Archer.

Word Count: 4.6k

TW: Angst with a happy ending. Use of some strong words. Some suggestive comments. Mention of having sex. If I forgot something, let me know.

A/N: Thanks for the request! Keep sending them to me.

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"Hey, did you get something?" You ask Spencer when he returns to the precinct. He and Gideon were at a gallery open to obtain information for the case you are working on in LA.

Spencer shrugs. "Not really. They all were more interested in photos and the press."

"Celebrities," you huff playfully, and Spencer chuckles.

"Yeah. Something like that," Spencer agrees.

"I'm going to grab some coffee. Do you want some?" You offer, standing from where you were checking the case folders.

"Sure," Spencer accepts, sitting and grabbing a folder for himself to inspect. You pass by him and squeeze his shoulders in a gentle gesture, subtly kissing his head.

"I'll be right back," you murmur before leaving the room.

Things with Spencer have been kind of odd for a while. Sure, you still are coworkers and friends, but ultimately, it is like you both are getting to terms with the idea that something else is going on. You don't know what it is really, and neither of you has sat to talk about it.

Why? Lack of time, maybe? Fear of being misreading the signals? Both?

Whatever it is, you have been acting like nothing is happening, although you almost kissed after a bar outing two weeks ago. You would have if Morgan hadn't called Spencer when you were about to kiss outside your apartment.

After the interruption, neither of you brought up the topic again.

Now you are stuck in LA, trying to solve a case involving celebrity killings. So, of course, the media and the locals have been nailing your asses for answers.

There is no time for anything else but to try to catch the unsub as soon as possible. Hotch asked you to narrow the unsub comfort zone. It's a task that's usually assigned to Spencer, but Hotch has him tracking information from one of the possible unsub's targets: Lila Archer, an actress with a promising career ahead.

"Pretty boy now has the best assignment in this case," Derek sighs as he slumps into one of the chairs in the meeting room.

Elle and you scoff at his dramatics. Morgan points an accusing finger at you.

"If you have seen her, I'm sure you would agree with me."

Neither of you pays too much attention to Derek's tantrum and keeps working instead.

It's almost night, and when Hotch returns to the precinct with Gideon and no Spencer in sight, you raise an eyebrow.

"Where is the genius?" Elle asks.

"With Miss Archer. We need to keep an eye on her, and Reid has the rapport already," Hotch explains before asking for your progress in the task you were assigned.

How does Spencer suddenly become a bodyguard? You don't know, but don't question it. You assume Hotch knows what he's doing.

An hour later, Garcia calls, saying the cameras at Lila's property show a strange person wandering around. The fact Spencer is not answering his phone makes everyone flock out of the police station, and all of you think the unsub is trying to get into the house.

What if the unsub is already inside and hurt Spencer? Shit, you are a nervous wreck, although you try to mask it to the rest of the team.

When arriving at the house, Hotch split everyone: Morgan and Elle are assigned to the front. Hotch and you take the backyard. Gideon, with the patrols, canvass the main street.

As you approach, your heart beats faster and faster. With your gun aimed, you're ready for anything but the fact you hear laughing coming from the pool.

You are covering Hotch's back, and he is as confused as you after opening the gate.

You both see Lila getting out of the pool in a fit of laughs and Spencer, entirely clothed, inside the pool.

"Are you okay, Miss Archer?" Hotch asks, holstering his gun and checking the surroundings with his gaze.

"Oh, Agent Hotchner. I didn't know you were coming," she mentions casually, wrapping a towel around her torso.

Realizing danger isn't imminent, you holster your gun, too, and reach a hand to help Spencer.

"What the hell happened?" You ask him as you take in his drenched clothes and wet gun resting at the edge of the pool. Spencer doesn't look at you, only mumbling, "I fell."

Well, weird but not implausible, considering Spencer isn't the best-coordinated man in the world.

You help him, grabbing a towel from a chair and handing it to him. You take his gun and remove the bullets from the soaked chamber.

You want to know more about the whole situation, but before you have the chance to ask Spencer, you see Derek, Elle, and Gideon coming.

Finally, the alert came from a paparazzi who was around the house and wanted to take photographs of Lila. And regarding the pool? Lila said that she wanted a dip, and unfortunately, Dr. Reid tripped and fell.

No one says anything about it, but the looks Elle and Derek give Spencer catch your attention, as does the way Spencer avoids talking to you until you are called to return to the precinct.

Despite the incident, Lila insists Spencer stay as you continue investigating the evidence.

So you all come back to the station, minus Spencer.

You don't know why Elle instructs you to check the camera roll recovered from the paparazzi, but there you are, in a dark room, revealing what could be pieces of evidence.

What you do not expect is the kind of images that are showing before your eyes: Spencer and Lila Archer making out in the pool.

What-the-fuck?

Now, the scene you found when you arrived at the place with Hotch makes a little more sense. Spencer was entirely soaked while Lila, with a smug expression, walked into the house with a towel around her torso.

You don't know what reaction comes first. But you can recognize the deception and the way your heart shatters into a million pieces.

They were kissing. In the pool. At night. Like nothing is happening around them.

You have been working your ass to catch an unsub, and the doctor is enjoying himself with a movie star. In addition, they lied about the whole ordeal.

The tears pool in your eyes, but you are fighting not to let them fall. Not here. Not for Spencer. Not for anyone.

Why bother, anyway? You are just friends.

What? Will you ask him for an explanation?

It's not your place, even if you thought something was going on between you both.

How stupid you are. You don't stand a chance with him. Spencer only sees you as friend material.

With the entire film revealed, you shove the photos into a manila folder and leave the dark room.

Elle raises an eyebrow when she spots you walking toward her. You throw the folder over the table.

"Here's what you asked me for," you say in a harsh tone before turning around and walking out of the precinct. Elle doesn't say anything and doesn't need to open the folder to know what's going on.

When the team moves to Lila's house again a few hours later, already knowing who the unsub is, you stay behind in connection to Garcia to coordinate at the police station. You don't need to be there again.

You won't get exposed to see Spencer and Lila together.

Early in the morning, with the killer in custody and Lila Archer safe, you are ready to come back to Virginia.

During the flight, you seclude yourself in the farthest seat, headphones on and eyes closed. It works. No one disturbs you.

But you fail to notice Spencer's eyes on you the entire time.

After touching down, Hotch gathers you in the office to do the debriefing when you only want to go home.

Spencer tries to talk to you a few times, but you slip away from him every time, using whatever excuse not to speak.

Finally, Hotch officially closes the case and sends you home with two days off. Without saying goodbye to anyone, and with your heart broken, you run out of the BAU.

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Spencer looks for you when he exits the conference room, but you're already gone. His guts tell him something happened to you, and he is worried. Usually, you're open to talking to him, and with this thing going on between you both, Spencer doesn't know how to ask you about it. But even if he wants to do that, he needs to have you in the same room first.

And that will only happen once you are back at the BAU in two days.

He thinks maybe he should go to your place but refrains from the idea. Perhaps you're just tired, and he doesn't want to make it worse.

He doesn't know you sulked in your apartment the entire time, and when you all return to work two days later, you are not still talking to him.

Spencer trails behind you like a lost puppy. He tries to make some conversation with you every chance he gets, but you avoid him like the plague. Spencer still doesn't know why you're acting so cold with him, so he goes to someone who might know: Elle.

Spencer walks to her desk, ready to get some kind of answers.

"What is it, Reid?" Elle asks without looking at him. Spencer clears his throat.

"Do you know if something happened to her?" he questions, referring to you. Elle rolls her eyes in annoyance before lifting her gaze to him.

"Are you kidding me right now, Reid?"

Spencer frowns in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

Huffing, Elle digs through the stack of folders on her desk, pulls out the one with the photos you developed, and passes it on to Spencer.

"Serve yourself, genius."

Spencer proceeds to check what is inside, and his cheeks immediately start to burn.

"She - she saw these?" Spencer stutters. Elle pulls a face.

"If she saw these? She developed the camera roll and gave these to me."

Spencer wants to die. It makes perfect sense, but that means he screwed it up.

"Why did she do that?! I mean, no one else could have done it?"

"I asked her to," Elle says, folding her arms over her chest.

"Why did you do that?!" Spencer squeals.

It doesn't matter why, but he still can't believe you saw everything. Spencer knows it was wrong to kiss Lila back, but for him, it didn't mean anything. His heart already belongs to you, even if he hasn't told you yet.

"What did I know that she would find out photos of you and Lila sucking each other's faces? I thought there were only pictures of Miss Startlet swimming and you stupidly falling into the pool. Isn't that you told me happened?"

Spencer Reid has rarely been left speechless, but this is one of them. A mixture of shame, regret, and anger at himself makes his stomach churn, and he wants to dig a hole to disappear.

He needs to explain to you what happened. But how could he approach the subject? You and Spencer are friends in the first place, and he didn't tell you what really happened in that pool. You had to see it for yourself in those pictures.

And thinking about your 'situationship' makes it even worse.

Spencer leaves Elle's desk, thinking about what to say and looking for the best moment to talk to you. But luck isn't by his side: in mid-morning, Hotch announced there is a case.

At least it's local this time.

In the afternoon, he spots you walking alone in one of the hallways. It's now or never, he thinks.

"(Y/N), wait!"

Hearing your name, you reluctantly turn only to see Spencer jogging to catch up with you. You want to turn again and leave, but it won't be subtle if you do that.

"What is it, Spencer? There is something about the case?" You ask flatly. Spencer knows you know it isn't about the case, but he has to assume you don't.

"I - uh. No. It's not the case. I - I just want to make sure you are okay?" His voice is wary, and the fidgeting of his hands is a tale-telling that he's nervous.

"I'm okay. I'm great, actually," you say, faking cheerfulness. Your patience runs thin, and Spencer isn't helping.

He frowns, knowing what you are doing.

"Don't be like that. I really wanted to make sure you are okay," he mumbles shyly. You cross your arms over your chest—a defiant look in your eyes.

"And why I wouldn't, uh? Something bad happened to me? There is a single reason why I shouldn't be okay?"

Spencer contemplates his response for a second. How does he say it in a way that does not sound self-centered?

"I don't know. You haven't talked to me since the last case in LA."

Spencer opts to bring up the obvious and let the overwhelming evidence out of this for now.

"And that bothers you?" You ask in a disbelief tone.

Spencer knows this isn't working.

Damn to his inability to lead meaningful interactions when he needs to.

"Yes! I mean, we - we're friends. You can tell me if something is going on."

The friend card. Spencer thinks it's the safest approach. But he's wrong. You laugh humorlessly.

"Honestly, Spencer? I don't know if we are friends anymore."

Your tone tries to be cold, but behind it, there is a tiny wavering you try to suppress at all costs.

"What? Why are you saying that?"

That's the limit Spencer reaches and pushes you to snap.

"Because friends don't lie to each other! When I asked you what happened at Lila's house, you lied to me!"

Spencer gulps because he knows you are right.

That is what he needed to say first, and not have to wait until you were who threw it at him.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, gazing at his feet.

And then again, the guilt, the embarrassment.

Why did he do it? He isn't attracted to Lila. Why did he kiss her back?

"Yeah, me too. But you know? I'm glad. I'm glad you finally found someone and that now I know where I stand."

It hurts you to say the words. Spencer can see the crack in your demeanor, and he is the one to blame.

"What? No! No, I'm not- I didn't find someone," he chimes in an attempt to clear this up. "It's not what you think."

"Isn't? I saw the pictures, Spencer. I developed them myself. I know what I saw."

"She kissed me!" Spencer exclaims, trying to get afloat because he feels he's drowning.

"So what? If that's the case, you kissed her back!" You spat, angry at the lame explanation coming from Spencer's mouth.

"It was a mistake! I shouldn't have done that! You have to believe me."

Spencer tries to take hold of your hand, but you don't let him, yanking your arm and keeping your distance from him.

"Why do you think it's a mistake? Uh? She's pretty, almost famous, she's into you. I don't think it is," you start, and Spencer frowns. "What I can't understand is why you didn't tell me the truth before I could find out from those goddamn photos. What did you expect? That I would criticize you? What would bother me about your love adventures in Hollywood? You said it yourself: we're just friends."

"(Y/N), please," Spencer tries to get to you but is to no avail.

"It's your fucking life, Spencer. Do what you want with it! But let me out of it."

Without another word, you storm out to who knows where but far away from him.

Spencer knows he fucked up big this time. And his attempt at apology made things only worse.

He didn't see you for the rest of the case. Spencer assumed you secluded yourself in Garcia's office.

From his spot at his desk, he can only see Elle's disapproving look.

There is no reasonable reason for what he did, and that consumes Spencer's brain. He doesn't like Lila. He has been pining for you long enough to be sure he loves you.

'Men are men,' Elle usually says when Derek brags about his conquests. Spencer always felt proud of not being that way. And what happens when a pretty actress jumps at him? He goes with it. Elle is right, then. He is like any other man.

The question is if he will do something to gain your trust - and affection - back. How can he fix this?

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A whole week has passed since the case in LA. The BAU looks pretty much the same as always, if not for the fact you only talk to Spencer when it is strictly necessary. The team doesn't pick up much of it, though. Only Elle knows what's going on, but she won't pester you with questions or unrequited advice.

Spencer is doing nothing extra to call your attention, although you can feel his eyes on you sometimes during the day. But you assume he got your message, and he'll go on with his life.

The problem is you can't bring yourself to do the same. You know your chances with Spencer are a past thing, but your heart still doesn't get the memo. And you try, really try to be neutral, professional, and collected. It works in the majority because nobody asks questions or refers to what happened in LA.

But the state of 'everything is fine' in you is fragile, and you know that.

It's Friday afternoon, and everyone wants to end their reports to go finally home. You see Spencer from the corner of your eyes. He is deep-writing in what you assume are the details from the last case. Elle is doing the same. You are trying to focus on your work, but the tiredness makes you go slower than you want.

Suddenly, the glass doors open to reveal a grinning Derek Morgan walking straight to Spencer's desk with something under his arm. It looks like a newspaper.

"Hey, lover boy!" Derek claps Spencer's back with a shit-eaten smirk plastered on his face. Spencer looks up at Derek with a frown. "Don't look at me like that Casanova. You are the one who didn't tell me about your little something with Miss Starlet."

Morgan places a newspaper he's carrying on Reid's desk. The cover is a photo of him making out with Lila Archer.

"W- what?" Spencer stutters as his cheeks redden. His eyes quickly move from the newspaper to find yours, and you only want to disappear. Averting his gaze, you try to focus again on the file you are reading. Elle rolls her eyes from her desk.

"My man! You slept with her that night, didn't you?"

"Morgan, stop," Spencer pleads, but Derek doesn't relent, even when the air in the room becomes way thick in instants.

"You can tell me! Is she good? I bet she is-"

"Morgan, no!" Spencer's high-pitched voice tries to make Morgan shut up.

"Come on, give me something pretty boy. She is wild in bed, doesn't she? How many hickeys did she leave on you?"

You actually cringe at Morgan's words. The sole idea of Lila and Spencer sleeping together makes you sick to your stomach.

You're about seconds to stand and get out.

Elle, who is observing the whole scenario - thing Derek doesn't - huffs in irritation.

"Why don't you and lover boy go to spill your gut about your sex life out of here? We are trying to work if you didn't notice."

Morgan frowns. Usually, Elle backs up his teasing to Spencer. But when he is about to say something again, you're - not so subtly - grabbing your things and storming out from the bullpen.

Your collected attitude goes out of the window.

All of them be damned, you think.

Spencer is standing right away to chase after you, leaving Morgan with a confused look, silently asking Elle what the hell just happened.

"I am only going to say that you are a total asshole, Derek Morgan," Elle states before returning to her files.

Meanwhile, you're pressing the elevator button, and you can feel Spencer rapidly nearing you.

“(Y/N)! Please, wait!"

When he's by your side, you intentionally look to another way.

"Not now, Spencer. Just let me go."

Just let me go. That statement has more meaning than the explicit one you're voicing.

"Morgan is only messing with me. I didn't sleep with her."

Spencer thinks blurting the truth will be enough to stop you from running away from him. But things are already more complicated than that.

"It doesn't matter, Spencer. Now, let me go."

Your insistence is more like an agonizing plea. You're so tired. There is no fight you want to engage in right now. You think you won this time when the elevator doors open, but it's short-lived as you see Spencer stepping inside as well.

"No! It does matter!"

The elevator doors close, and now only are you and him.

"Why? Uh? Why is it so important for you to tell me this?"

Your sudden raised voice takes Spencer aback. You're pissed off.

"Because - because it is the truth!" He defends.

And maybe he's right. Perhaps he didn't sleep with Lila, but your heart is already broken, and you only need space to get used to the idea and heal.

"Spencer. I already told you you don't owe me an explanation. Truth or not, it is not my business anyway."

Your tone is not angry but deflated, exhausted. Your gaze drops to the floor.

Spencer wants to scream; there is so much in his chest to say, but his brain doesn't cooperate in spilling something coherent.

"But I want it to be!" He decides to say, and he gets you to look at him again.

"What? are you talking about?"

"I want it - I want it to be your business," Spencer repeats, and you don't know what to say; you don't even know what he means.

The elevator dings and the door opens. You both stand there for a second, frozen after what looks like a confession. Or not. You're not sure.

"You don't know what you are saying," you mumble, deciding to move and pass him to walk into the parking garage.

"I know I should have said this before," Spencer continues walking after you. "I know I should have said something that night when we almost kissed. I regret I didn't."

You stop when he mentions that night. At this point, you thought he didn't care, and it didn't mean anything to him.

"Nothing happened that night," you say bitterly.

"But it should have. Don't tell me you didn't feel it," Spencer poses a hand on your shoulder to stop you from turning away again. Your eyes fill with tears, but you're fighting not to let them fall.

"And what if I did? It doesn't change anything," you shrug, a painful look in your eyes.

"It does! Because I love you and I do really want to make it up to you. I want you back. I want to amend the hurt I caused you for my stupidity."

Did he say 'I love you'? That takes you aback.

"Spencer-"

"I know I messed up. I know it was stupid to kiss Lila back. It doesn't matter if she did it first or not; you're right. But believe me, it didn't mean anything to me because she was not you. She is not you and will never be."

"You're confusing things," you shake your head, still not giving credit to his confession.

"After our fight the other day, I really thought about stepping back and leaving you alone. I have been torturing myself all week trying to conceive a life without you on it, mourning the lost of our friendship, and above all, mourning the lost of the prospect of to be your person, and you to be mine."

You can't keep your tears at bay anymore, so you let them free. Spencer cups your cheeks, and you can see tears in his eyes, too.

"But I can't. I can't let you go. Not without telling you the truth. And if you don't feel the same, that's okay; I won't push any further, and I'll leave you alone."

You can't tell him that you don't feel the same way because that would be the biggest lie in the universe. You are also sure that you love him, and that is why this situation has broken you so much.

You blink away some of your tears as Spencer looks at you, trying to read the truth in you.

"I think I have been in love with you since ever," you blurt out, with a half sob and half chuckle. "And I felt so heartbroken seeing you kissing her, and now Derek comes suggesting-" you trail off.

"Hey, don't think about that. I messed up, and I didn't say anything earlier because, to me, it didn't mean anything. I'm so sorry," Spencer apologizes, running his thumbs under your eyes to wipe some of your tears.

"How can - how can we start over?" you ask him shyly but hopefully. Spencer hastens to reply.

"The way you want it. If you want time to think, or if you want us to go slow, we can do that. If you wish to, can we go on a date first? Officially, a date? We can do that," Spencer rambles, and you smile for real for the first time in weeks.

"Yeah, we can go on a date, officially a date," you concede, and Spencer can't contain his excitement. "But, can I ask you for something first?"

"Of course. Just name it," Spencer says as his hands rub your shoulders lovingly.

"Can you kiss me now?" You request, with the most faked innocent look you can muster, making Spencer laugh.

"I can do that," he nods, looking at you intensely, gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips. Then Spencer leans down, closing his eyes at midway. You wait with batted breath until finally, his lips softly touch yours.

It's a tentative, sweet kiss. Your arms go up Spencer's shoulders until they land on his neck. His hands fall to your hips to pull you closer as the kiss deepens. It's no longer exploratory; it's hungry, messy, passionate, and you couldn't have wanted it any other way. You're sure this kiss is a thousand times better than the one he had with Lila, and Spencer completely agrees with that assessment because it's you.

That makes it perfect.

It's the need for air that makes you part after a while.

"Wow," you both say at the same time, starting to laugh like teenagers and trying to catch your breath.

When the laugh subsides, you narrow your eyes in contemplation and Spencer's eyebrow furrow.

"What?" he asks, and you look at him—a mischievous glint in your eyes.

"We agreed to a date first, right?" you ask, and Spencer nods.

"What if we skip that and make up for the lost time? What do you say, my lover boy?" you suggest, with a playful smirk on your face. Spencer's cheeks flush, but he is definitively excited with the idea. He quickly grabs your hand and runs with you to your car.

There is a lot to make it up, he agrees.

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Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers 

[starkeygirlposts]

Boyfriend turned Step-Bro Rafe Cameron x Reader

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FULL FIC HERE

Summary: You've been dating Rafe Cameron for 3 years, and one day Ward and your mom tell you they're getting married.

This is a snippet of a fic I'm going to see if I want to continue writing. Please let me know if you'd like it to be continued.

I'm not diving too deep on details or character traits in this, as it's just a blurb/idea for a full fic.

Trigger warnings: stepcest, underage, drugs, pregnancy

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The Rafe Cameron who became your boyfriend when you were sixteen years old was not the Rafe Cameron who people referred to your step-brother at eighteen.

The complete opposite, really.

Your parents separated when you were in your sophomore year of high school, your dad moving across the country to California when he met his mistress on a business trip while you and your mom kept a tidy home. The affair nearly killed your mom, and she learned to lean on none other than your boyfriends dad.

Ward was the perfect fill-in for your mom for a while. She was just having a good time, she'd told you. "He occupies my mind Y/N, does that make me such a bad mom?" Like you being upset with your mother being however which way involved with your boyfriends dad was so out-of-this-world believable. Truth was, yes it made her a bad mom. Not just because it put you and Rafe in an uncomfortable position, but because you were struggling yourself after having your family as you knew it blown apart.

But she wasn't just "having a good time." Or rather, maybe she was having too good a time. Because on a Thursday evening at the Cameron's dinner table that you all had gathered for, Ward held your moms hand and told you all that they were getting married.

That day, your world fell apart, and Rafe started to become someone you soon would not recognize. Rafe's hand slipped from your thigh, gone the tender loving warm fingertips, drawing lazy hearts on your skin.

You looked over at Rafe before doing or saying anything to anyone else, and his eyes were higher than yours, connecting with his father's in an expression you could only imagine was pure hatred. Because Rafe could never live up to his father in any sense, and now he was taking away the one thing that kept his feet planted to the earth. Of course he was. You flinched when Rafe's chair scraped like nails on the tile flooring, as he darted from the table outside to his truck, leaving you to pick up the pieces. How badly you'd wanted to chase after him. But when your eyes connected with Ward's, the decision made for you.

You didn't even need to ask.

"Unless you want to live with your father in California, you and Rafe will stop whatever it is you two have going on." Ward had told you.

You looked to your mom as if she'd help you - feel some semblance of remorse for you. You'd met Rafe first. Three years ago. You'd been the only reason your mother even met Ward. But why should you be so surprised that what she wanted was more important than your happiness?

From that day, Rafe started slowly slipping from you. A hollow shell of the boy you loved so deeply and painfully. He'd drink himself to sleep every Friday and Saturday night, breathe cocaine on the other nights, and wave you off when you tried to ask him to slow down.

"Y/N, you want me to stop? To make you happy? What do you do anymore that makes me happy?" You'd touch his cheek and guide his head down to make his eyes meet yours, and you'd stare into them - hoping for a shimmer of your boyfriend to snap back and remember.

He'd shrug away from you, his hand brushing you off and leave you watching his back as he'd resume slowly killing not only himself, but you too. But his coldness didn't stop him from sneaking into your room past midnight to have sex with you. Not that you wish he'd stop, because you so badly craved his touch, eager for it any way he'd offer it. Mean, rough, kind, tender; you'd take any of him just to feel connected.

So when you'd texted Rafe to meet you in your room after dinner on Thursday night nearly one year after your world truly blew apart, hoping you'd get to him before the white powder did, he locked the door behind him and the black in his eyes told you he'd already gotten his fix. But your small hand came up to his chest as he approached you, seated cross legged on your pink floral bed spread, clutching the stick in your other hand. You looked up at him and when you locked eyes, he understood, because he took your hand from his chest and squeezed it in his own before leaning down to touch his lips to yours.

"I miss you, baby. My beautiful girl."

His breath was hot against your mouth, his scent so familiar and home to you. You couldn't stop the tears from falling from your eyes, your hand loosening from his hand to hold onto his forearm that connected to the fingers clutching your jaw tenderly but firmly in place, kissing you like he loved you again.

How badly you missed him, too.

"Rafe, please..."

Your hand falls and his breaks from your jaw, and you take this moment to capture his hand with your fingers and place the stick into his palm. His eyes break away from yours to look down at what you've given him, and you watch with tears streaming down your face as his brows furrow, his feet shuffling to back up and you brace yourself.

He doesn't do what you expect him to do, though. He stares so deeply down into his palm that when his eyes do reconnect with yours, confusion in his own eyes, his head tilting just the slightest and you're trembling, waiting for the shoe to drop.

"This...this is a -- you're..." His eyes screw up shut and he shakes his head like he's imagining things and he's crazy. "A baby?" He finally asks, looking up at you again and you can only nod.

"My baby?" He asks again, and you nearly scoff, because really? Was he kidding? Who else was sneaking into your room after midnight, invading your body and your thoughts?

"Yes, Rafe, I'm pregnant with your baby." You tell him, standing and he's still shaking his head, eyes bunching up as if he's being told the craziest thing in the world - because really, he is. But you've sat with this for the entire day and while your reaction wasn't as confused, you too felt the familiar disbelief.

You watch his chest rise and fall, deep breaths in and out before you're in a whirlwind and he closes the distance between you and pulls you to him, tucking your head underneath his chin, the back of your skull rested protectively in his large palm. His lips are at your forehead when he tells you

"I'm going to take care of it. They're not keeping me from my kid."

----

AH, what do you think? My ask box is open for feedback. Please feel free to use it to ask for what you'd like to see from this fic!

[moutainrusing]

wildfire

492 words, @wolfstarmicrofic

“I am officially a wildfire,” Sirius declared, flopping backward onto his mattress.

“Sorry?” James squinted at him in confusion.

Sirius sighed, “Y’know how wildfires are caused by long periods of dry weather?”

“Yeah…?”

“Well, I myself have been experiencing a dry spell.”

“Like, you cast a bad drying charm on yourself?”

“No, Prongs,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “I mean, I haven’t shagged in quite a bit, and now I’m kinda… sexually frustrated. Like a wildfire.”

“Ohhh, so shag someone. Problem solved.”

“Y’know, there’s a reason I haven’t shagged in a while. I just don’t want to.”

James frowned, “But now you’re sexually frustrated, so clearly you do.”

Sirius waved a dismissive hand at him, “No, I…” He tried to gesticulate with his hands; explain that he no longer found anyone attractive, because for some reason, he was fixated on one person, one specific person, whom he couldn’t shag even if he wanted to. He tried to explain how that person’s smile outshone everyone else’s until it was the only thing he could see, the only thing he wanted to see. All he wanted was to make that person smile, not shag a bunch of pathetic losers who paled in comparison.

James’s eyes widened to the same shape of the ‘o’ his mouth had formed. “You’re in love with Moony.”

“What— When did I— How did you— What?!”

James threw his hands up, “You literally just told me.” He proceeded to demonstrate with his hands, in a similar fashion to Sirius, imitating his voice in a high-pitched squeal, “This is how tall Moony is and oh Merlin, isn’t he just so bloody hot up there, I want him to lift me by my collar and snog me.”

While Sirius gaped at him, James gestured to his eyes and teased, “If Moony’s eyes were the last things I saw, I’d die happy,” then James mimed opening a book and wheezed, “I want Moony to open me up like he opens his books— Pads, why did you have to tell me that?!”

Sirius grinned. “Well, I’m sorry, I guess the truth hurts.”

“Bloody. Hell. Just shag Moony then!”

“I can’t!”

“Look, this can go two ways. You confess, he reciprocates, and he can shag your dry spell away. Or you confess, he rejects you, and you’re free to shag someone else!”

“But I don’t want him to reject me!”

“He won’t.”

Sirius gave him a flat look.

James sighed, “And if he does, it’ll be easier for you to move on. So confess.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t see you going to confess.”

“I’m going, I’m going,” Sirius raised his hands and backed out of their dormitory, down the stairs to the common room.

“Moony,” he said to Remus’s back. “I’m… a wildfire.”

“FIRE?! WHERE?!” Instinctively, Remus leapt up and spun around, casting a jet of water out of his wand, drenching Sirius.

Then he hastily began apologising, while Sirius laughed, “Wow. I really do love you.”

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

Okay, my one and only major complaint about Bad Batch is that I don't think they handled Tech's death properly (I still don't think they should have killed him off at all, but here we are; and even if they intend(ed) to leave things open-ended to maybe bring him back later, the titular characters in the show wouldn't have known that); and with all the reasons I've seen floating out there as to WHY Tech's death was handled the way it was and why the characters reacted the way they did (or didn't), I just want to explain why none of the "reasons" cut it for me. If you're satisfied with how Tech was handled in season 3, I am genuinely happy for you (and lowkey jealous, ngl 😉). I've just been thinking about this a lot and need to spell it out!

Reason #1: "Why do we need to see more of the characters mourning? What we got was enough. We don't need a 2 hour episode that's all about the characters grieving." (Yes, someone actually used "2 hours" in their argument.)

Let's recap what we got: 1) A scene where Echo looks sadly at the Marauder's pilot seat, Wrecker actually sheds some tears (bless him), Omega's in denial, and Hunter tells Omega they're going to retire on Pabu because Tech is gone... followed up almost immediately by the villain dropping off broken goggles as the only proof that Tech was ever on Eriadu; 2) a scene where the audience is shown Tech's goggles but Hunter doesn't interact with them- instead, he looks at Lula, proving that his driving motivation is recovering Omega (which is fine when taken from the perspective that he can't do anything about Tech, whereas he can do something for Omega; but that perspective is ultimately just headcanon because the show never reiterates or follows up on this); 3) Wrecker alluding to Tech (not by name) to try to convince Hunter to be more cautious; 4) Omega name-dropping Tech (wait, does Crosshair even know what happened?... yay for context clues, I guess); 5) Echo name-dropping Tech in relation to data decryption with the team looking down sadly for 5 seconds (I timed it) before Crosshair changes the subject; 6) Phee name-dropping Tech in relation to her not knowing what m-count is; 7) Crosshair referring to Tech's information on Ventress; 8) Omega leaving Tech's goggles in the Archeum with none of her brothers around (hot take: it kinda bothers me that the goggles are given the same treatment as Lula, I totally understand the context/deeper meaning of Omega leaving her childhood behind by leaving Lula, but we're talking about the one relic they have of their fallen and irreplaceable brother being given the same emotional weight as a doll); 9) Phee referring to Tech having a discussion with her about Crosshair while Tech's goggles are in the background (and, noticeably, Crosshair doesn't react at all and just changes the subject back to needing a ship); 10) Crosshair says the squad died with Tech, Wrecker says Tech understood the risks, and that's that.

So, what we got was enough to establish that the characters were sad in the immediate aftermath of Tech's death, that some of them may have stayed sad about it all through season 3, and that the show didn't completely forget that Tech had been a main character at one point.

What we DON'T get is any real reference to what Tech meant to the family as an individual and a brother, any real indication of how the loss of Tech (distinct from the mission to save Omega) influences his family's actions or the story's overall narrative, any actual acknowledgement in the show of Tech's sacrifice having any meaning or the family moving past grief to express any form of gratitude for Tech's presence and influence on their lives, any reference to Tech having a true impact on 4 of his 5 siblings (Omega is the closest we get to witnessing Tech's continued influence on any of his siblings and even seeing that involves squinting/head tilts at times)... in other words, we get a few minutes of sadness, but never any catharsis. We see they miss him, but never does this truly inform the narrative or their decisions in season 3, AND it's left frustratingly vague where the characters are in the grieving process (more on that later).

Besides, no one (that I have come across, at least) was ever asking for a 2 hour episode. At most, Kanan got a 22-minute "eulogy" episode, and most of us aren't even asking for that. I'd have been at least minimally satisfied with a "Mayday moment" for Tech - and that scene lasted a grand total of 20 seconds. What would have been more satisfying would have been the show taking all those superficial name drops and converting at least a few of them into meaningful mentions indicating what Tech means to his brothers and/or how he continues to have an influence on his family and/or how his sacrifice is a motivating factor for them.

Reason #2: "There was no time."

Leaving aside the fact that there was apparently plenty of time and opportunity to make Tech (among others) a red herring...

Let's assume that the showrunners were not only told they only had 1 season left to wrap everything up, but were given highly specific time allotments for each episode to where they weren't allowed to add any scenes (I highly doubt this is what happened, but we're rolling with the "no time" thing here). You know what you do in that scenario when you're talking about something like following up on a main character's death that clearly has left your entire fanbase in an uproar? You MAKE time: you trim down the action scenes, you make the characters walk a little bit faster, you decide whether an extended scene of Echo giving Omega a crossbow that is never going to show up again is actually worth saving (I actually like the scene, by the way; just giving an example), you cut out a few of the extremely vague lines of dialogue Fennec and Asajj indulge in. What you DON'T do is kill off a beloved main character and then rely on convenient time lapses/time skips to just brush over all the fallout apart from a few name drops that do nothing to establish just how important said character was to the other characters in the show.

What's more, they could have EASILY included some true closure with ANY of the Tech name-drops/scenes that were already in the show. Have Hunter look at Tech's goggles before looking beyond them at Lula in 3.02. Have the brothers be present with Omega when she decides to leave Tech's goggles in the Archeum in 3.11. Have any of the brothers say one meaningful line about Tech while they're otherwise silently basking in the sunshine in the end scene on Pabu in 3.15!

Reason #3: "They're soldiers."

Of all the reasons given for why Tech's death was mishandled, I dislike this one the most. What does CF99 being soldiers have to do with the aftermath of Tech's death being reduced to perfunctory allusions? (If you want to get into the argument that soldiers in general have to figure out a way to "move on" and The Clone Wars didn't really spend any time on the clones processing losses after battles, let me just say I don't care for how this topic is covered in The Clone Wars either, and Bad Batch was a golden opportunity for the Star Wars franchise to move past this unfortunate trope.) Fallen soldiers in real life get memorials/funerals too, even if it's months after the battle. Fallen soldiers are honored and remembered by their families and those closest to them. If the show is trying to push the stereotype that soldiers move on from tragic deaths of comrades by being "stoic" and holding it all in and never talking about it, I strongly disagree with the perpetuation of this stereotype; and if the characters as soldiers actually DID grieve Tech in a healthy way, why didn't the show depict it?

Reason #4: "Star Wars writers don't know how to write meaningful scenes/payoff regarding death and characters dealing with death/loss."

The Bad Batch writers proved time and again how brilliant they are at writing emotional storylines with maximum payoff. Case in point: Mayday. Enough said (I'm writing too much on this general topic as it is).

Reason #5: "They got over it."

Maybe I'm reading things wrong, but a rather drastic change in behavior for one character (going from cautious and weighing all risks, to reckless and jumping headfirst into situations without proper backup), and another character including Tech's death as just one reason why he "deserves" to go on a suicide mission, does not read to me as the characters "getting over it." It reads to me as "avoidance behavior" and "continued internal conflict." (Granted, Hunter's more reckless behavior in season 3 likely had as much to do with the Omega situation as it did Tech's death, but the point still stands. And if the point DOESN'T still stand, then I've got even MORE issues with how this plotline was handled, so we'll just keep assuming it does.)

Furthermore, if the characters had truly "gotten over it," there shouldn't have been any hesitation or issue with them discussing and honoring Tech in meaningful ways.

Reason #6: "They DIDN'T get over it."

Right, and we ended the show that way, with no clear resolution to them actually coming to terms with Tech's death and honoring his memory. Great.

Reason #7: "Whatever. It's good Tech stayed dead. Tech's sacrifice meant something."

... Did it? Did it really? I mean, I know I say quite frequently that Tech's sacrifice is what made the happy ending possible for the others (because that's the only thought that got me through a rewatch of season 3). But the show, the narrative itself, certainly doesn't act like it really meant anything. Hunter says in the season 2 finale that they "weren't going to waste Tech's sacrifice" because they were going to retire on Pabu... and that discussion promptly gets forgotten and never brought up again, not even when the squad is trying to stay off the Empire's radar in season 3 after Omega returns. Never is there any discussion that "not wasting Tech's sacrifice" by hiding on Pabu to make sure no one else dies (a very understandable reaction, of course) also goes against the very mission Tech pushed for in the first place: rescuing Crosshair. Never do we hear Omega tell Crosshair, "Tech didn't give up on you, I'm not giving up on you, that's why you ARE going to escape with me." Never is there any talk about "Tech wanted us to live and stay together, so that is what we are going to do." Never is there any acknowledgement at the end of the show that they are all going to live in peace on Pabu because Tech made sure they could live.

The last half of season 4 of Rebels is full of references to Kanan's sacrifice actually meaning something and having direct tangible consequences not only for the family but for Lothal and the Rebellion. For one thing, the show itself literally spells out that the mission to shut down the Imperial factories on Lothal was actually a success because all the fuel reserves were destroyed - Kanan had died, but the mission had succeeded and directly led to the success of the bigger mission to completely free Lothal, and while this is very poor consolation for the loss of Kanan, at least the show openly acknowledged it. Kanan and his influence is also openly credited for Ezra foiling Palpatine's plans with the Jedi Temple and the WBW, Ezra learning to let go and again disrupting Palpatine's plans in the finale, and doing what was needed to ensure Lothal was fully freed.

Imagine how different Rebels would be if Kanan's death had been treated like Tech's: no mention that his role on the mission had any impact whatsoever. No reference to Ezra or any other member of the Ghost crew living up to what Kanan had taught them all - or, at best, there's a perfunctory reference in the epilogue that Ezra decided to keep using the Force the way Kanan had taught him to. No depiction of Ezra or Hera or Sabine or Zeb accepting Kanan's death and letting go of the pain while holding on to the memories. Nothing to show that any of the Ghost crew members act in memory of Kanan or that he is a motivating influence on them. No indication that Kanan's sacrifice drives Ezra to decide to follow up on their initial success with the factories and ultimately completely drive the Empire from Lothal.

Rebels just wouldn't be nearly as fulfilling.

Now, imagine if Tech's death had been treated like Kanan's, and maybe it will become more clear why I have a REALLY hard time agreeing with the argument that the show itself actually depicted Tech's death as "meaning something."

[ausssbutlershortstories]

The Fandom & Unhealthy Shipping

Hello. In light of all the uproar and recent focus on Austin’s relationship. I felt moved to post this. As someone who isn’t exactly a fan of the relationship he has with Kaia Gerber, I feel like this is needed. Us “fake fans” as some may call it are tired of being silenced and bullied.

I will like to start off with that I love Austin. I want, as well as other fans like myself to see him thrive. Not just in his career , but in his love life too. I am in a very serious relationship myself , and see myself spending the rest of my life with the man I am with right now. I want that for Austin , I want him to have the love he deserves, that I am sure he craves. I want to see him happy again. The same way he was when he was with Vanessa Hudgens.

As we all know Austin began dating Kaia December 2021. From jump…I knew something was very odd about them. We all did , including those who call themselves “shippers” now. That itself should tell you something when a fanbase as a whole damn near feel something was off about the relationship. None of us were “jealous”. I have been in a few fan bases in my lifetime. Typically you can tell when there is pure jealousy vs genuinely getting a bad feeling about a person.Normally when people are “jealous”, it’s only a select few. A handful of unhinged weirdos who no one really cares for anyways.I have never seen it where the majority of the fanbase are on the same level. The same thoughts and uneasy feelings.I also wanna add when people are just jealous they never give a detailed, logical answer on why they feel a certain way about their favorite’s partner.It’s always some blind rage and childish reasons to be against a relationship.I don’t get that with the people from this fandom who side eye whatever Austin has with Kaia. We all knew something was just not right with them from the get go. Between Kaia breaking it off with Jacob Elordi a month before she got with Austin, and snatching him up before all his Elvis craze. We knew there some shady shit at play here. Especially since her and Jacob dressed as Elvis and Pricilla the Halloween before they broke up.It’s like she had some creepy Elvis fetish.Also, let’s not get started on how no one really knows the true story on how Kaia and Austin met,which is quite unusual. Almost every Hollywood couple has some story on how they met, even the bs PR relationships do. 2-3 years later and we still don’t know anything. Very peculiar to say the least.

As Austin grew bigger, the relationship progressed more. Kaia’s name was always attached to him some way , some how. There were pap walks, her being with him at events. No matter what Austin did , Kaia’s name was somewhere in the mix. That’s when people started to suspect that the relationship had to be PR. Not saying they definitely are PR BUT the way they moved , there was something just so unnatural about it. People started calling it out and voicing their concerns. However somewhere along the line certain fans began to do a 180, out of no where people started shipping them together and actually liking Kaia. Which was extremely questioning.

If you changed your mind about something/someone okay…that’s one thing. But to change your thinking and then proceed to bully others is a no go. Ever since then multiple people have been ran out the fandom, or bullied into to silence for still upholding the same thoughts on Kaia. Not being a fan of her and this relationship, thinking that Austin can do better. It’s like it suddenly became a golden rule to ship the relationship or get backed into a corner and harassed and have people assume that you’re some jealous bitch.

Lately though, some of us are beginning to speak out and stand on what we think. We are simply sick and tired of not being able to enjoy Austin without other fans making everything about Kaia. Everything he says and does. He smiles…it must be about Kaia. He wears a purple hoodie…must be Kaia’s…he mentions a damn dog….ooop he is really talking about mf Kaia. This man is 10 years older than her, he is his own person. Not everything he does is about his “girlfriend.” He has his own thoughts and feelings. His own personality. His own identity. He is not a puppet Kaia controls that just abides by what she says and has her mannerisms.

Us who do not ship this relationship have a right to do so in peace. We have a right to our opinions and a right to discuss them. We have a right to voice our validated concerns for what we see. It’s not like we are reaching and pulling things out of our asses. After all, the whole fanbase almost as a whole all thought the same thing at first about this relationship. Some of us just kept our opinions the same.We didn’t sit there and change it for the sake of followers and clout…like some. We are actually concerned for Austin’s well being.

With that being said. Stop harassing people and bitching because they do not want to ship this relationship. Stop bugging people when they say that he has good chemistry with someone else other than Kaia. Stop coming into people’s inboxes pretending like you are someone else but really you’re just trying to aggravate people by the questions you ask. People are not dumb , they know they know it be shippers low key on anons. Us here on this side do not come bugging and bitching about your opinions so why do that to us? Why does it matter to you so much that we be on board with what this bs? We are fans of AUSTIN BUTLER..not Kaia.

It shouldn’t matter if we do not support the relationship or not. We are here for his work. Half of y’all do not even care about Austin it seems outside that damn relationship anyway. Which…says a lot. Yet you have the AUDACITY to say we can’t be a real fan just because we don’t care for Kaia Gerber.Just know if you were so confident in Kaia and Austin’s relationship you will not be pressing others about their outlook on it just because it’s opposite of yours. It’s ridiculous you are this uptight like the relationship is yours. You guys are not Kaia Gerber so stop trying to live through her by projecting your raggedy ass delusions on everyone. All you’re doing is creating a divide in the fandom no one wants.

Just stay in your lane and let people who don’t want to make this relationship their entire life stay in their own. While we may disagree with y’all…we let you have your space to discuss your thoughts & feelings on your own platforms , so please do the same for us.

Note: Shipping real life people is weird. It’s fine to think two people are cute together and have good chemistry. It’s okay to do little cute fan edits and such. But when your shipping starts disturbing the peace in a fandom there is an issue. These are real people not a Prince and a Princess in a Disney fairytale. Calm down when people don’t agree with you and let it go!

[bloody-bee-tea]

June of (minimal) Doom 2024 Day 23 - You're doing great

In case you haven't read the tags: warnings for past child-abuse and related trauma

Sometimes Suguru wondered if they had made the right choice, moving in together.

They’d been dating for a while before they made that step and even though Satoru hadn’t been as enthusiastic about it as he is about some other things he had agreed. Verbally. And then he had helped Suguru look for an apartment and even participated in the packing and unpacking a move brought.

And Suguru trusted him to tell him no. Normally at least.

Maybe he should have inquired a little bit further after Satoru’s face had initially fallen at Suguru’s question, even though it had only been for a split second. Maybe he should have made them move slower.

Maybe he should suggest separated apartments again.

Suguru isn’t sure about anything anymore, he just knows that Satoru shuffles through their new apartment like a ghost.

“Hey, you okay?” Suguru asks from his position on the couch when Satoru scurries past him and Suguru doesn’t like the way Satoru freezes for a moment.

“Yeah, sure, why wouldn’t I be?” Satoru asks, a forced laugh spilling from his lips and it only makes Suguru frown harder.

“Because you’ve been acting strange,” Suguru gives back, his voice tinged with worry. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Satoru says again, clearly desperate to get away from him and also just as clearly uncomfortable.

Suguru doesn’t want to make matters worse than they clearly already are, but he has to ask one more thing.

“Do you regret moving in with me?” he wants to know and hates himself a little bit when Satoru’s face positively crumbles.

“No,” he almost cries out and throws himself over the couch, slinging his arms around Suguru’s neck and pulling him into the most uncomfortable hug he has ever received.

Not that he’s going to complain about it, because this is Satoru and Suguru is never going to hate anything Satoru does.

“Are you sure? You can tell me. We can figure something else out,” Suguru softly says. “Living apart served us well before, too. We can go back to that.”

He doesn’t want to do that, of course he doesn’t because he has always wanted to live together with the love of his life, but if it’s making Satoru uncomfortable, if that stresses him out for some reason, then Suguru is more than happy to go back to how they were before.

“I don’t want to go back to that,” Satoru mutters into Suguru’s shoulder and even though his actions don’t quite match what he’s saying right now, Suguru has to believe him.

If Satoru says this is fine, then he has to trust it for now.

“Okay,” Suguru mumbles and reaches up to ruffle Satoru’s hair. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Satoru gives back and at least that, Suguru believes. Whatever it is that Satoru struggles with in this apartment, it’s not his love for Suguru.

“Alright, back to whatever you were doing before,” Suguru finally says when his neck starts hurting from the position Satoru’s hug has forced it into and he pats Satoru’s head.

“Will do,” Satoru says with a smile and then is gone in an instant.

Suguru is not quite sure what he was up to in the first place, but he’s not going to ask.

He’s just happy that Satoru is doing something in the apartment.

When Suguru had first suggested moving in together, there had been apprehension in him, because he had spent enough time in Satoru’s apartment to know what while he wasn’t dirty, he liked things cluttered.

And Suguru didn’t.

But Satoru was attached to his little clutter piles in a way Suguru would never understand and so he had resigned himself to the same piles littering their now shared apartment. And it would have been fine. They would have found a way to make that work, just like they make everything work between them.

It couldn’t have been further from the truth though.

Ever since they moved in together, Suguru hasn’t seen a single thing out of place. There are no piles of Satoru’s games, no piles of dirty or clean clothes, no things thrown haphazardly around. It was almost eerily tidy in their apartment and while Suguru thrives in environments like that, he damn well knows that Satoru doesn’t.

He just doesn’t understand why Satoru would hold back.

~*~*~

Suguru comes home to Satoru standing in front of the bookshelf, wringing his hands helplessly in front of his body.

He’s so concentrated on whatever it is he’s doing that he doesn’t even hear Suguru come in.

“Hey,” Suguru greets him and immediately regrets saying anything when Satoru violently flinches.

That feeling only gets worse when Satoru turns around to him, his eyes wide and a look of utter panic on his face.

“What are you doing?” Suguru asks, stepping close to find out what’s going on but he freezes when Satoru jerks away from him.

“Nothing,” Satoru breathes out and it’s so obviously a lie that Suguru doesn’t even feel the need to point it out. Satoru seems to come to the same realisation because he deflates, hanging his head as if he’s expecting punishment. “I just—I checked out your books and pulled one out to read the synopsis and I wanted to put it back, but I don’t know how. I should have remembered but I can’t recall where I pulled it from.”

His voice is quiet, barely audible and he’s hunching in on himself as if he’s expecting a hit to come his way any second now.

The sight makes Suguru uneasy.

“Just put it back wherever,” Suguru gives back, confused as to why this would give Satoru so much trouble.

“No, but then it isn’t like you put it,” Satoru argues with a frustrated huff and Suguru bites back a sigh.

There is clearly something else going on here and it wouldn’t do to make Satoru think that Suguru is mad.

“But this is also your home, so you can put it however you like. I don’t have them organised anyway, so it really doesn’t matter.”

Suguru tries to keep his voice soft and gentle and he feels a little bit as if he’s talking to a little kid or a scared animal and he hates that he has to make these comparisons, because this is not at all how Satoru should be. Ever.

“But it does. It has to be exactly like you put it,” Satoru mutters and Suguru isn’t even sure if he knows that he’s speaking but it sure breaks Suguru’s heart.

Maybe they should have talked about moving in a little bit more before, he desperately thinks, as he carefully reaches out for the book in Satoru’s hands.

“Do you want coffee? I brought cake,” he says instead of commenting on Satoru’s behaviour, because he already seems stressed enough as it is but at the mention of cake, Satoru positively lights up.

“Oh, yes, please,” he breathes out and darts off, book and strange behaviour clearly forgotten.

Suguru lets out a fond sigh as he drops the book back on the shelf, not caring to put it back properly, because what he said to Satoru is true.

He couldn’t care less where the book ends up.

Suguru just hopes Satoru will eventually understand that, too.

~*~*~

Suguru fondly watches Satoru come out of their bedroom. He’s still blinking against the harsh light, clearly more asleep than awake and everything about him screams soft, from the way his hair stands up in all directions to the sweater paw he lifts to rub at his eyes.

He’s wearing one of Suguru’s shirts, the size almost big enough to swallow Satoru entirely and Suguru even finds it cute how Satoru’s toes peek out from the hem of his pants.

“Good morning,” he says, damn well knowing that Satoru is still too out of it to respond and he’s proven right when Satoru shuffles past him with only a grunt of acknowledgement. Suguru doesn’t take it to heart. “There’s coffee in the kitchen,” he lets him know and now that gets Satoru to shuffle along faster.

Suguru almost chokes on his laugh at seeing it.

Satoru disappears around the corner and Suguru goes back to his reading, content to wait for Satoru to come back out with his coffee and curl into his side like he does almost every morning when they both have the day off.

He hears Satoru clatter around in the kitchen but when he hears a cup shatter on the ground Suguru jerks.

And then he’s off the couch in in an instant, the image of cute, unprotected toes seared into his mind.

“Satoru!” he yells out, because what if he got hurt, what if he stepped into one of the shards and cut himself?

Suguru sprints around the corner, ready to drag Satoru out of harms way, but he freezes completely when he finds Satoru crouched low on the ground, his arms thrown over his head as he moves back and forth in a repetitive gesture.

“Satoru?” Suguru asks, much more quiet now, but Satoru still flinches violently.

“I didn’t mean to,” he sobs out, his voice shaking so much it’s hard to understand him. “Please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, don’t—don’t—” he can’t manage more words but his meaning is clear when he hunches into himself even further, his arms protecting his head as if he has to brace for a blow and Suguru really could have done without having his heart broken on this sunny Saturday morning.

“It’s alright,” he carefully says as he steps into the kitchen, avoiding the big shards laying around. “Satoru, it’s just me here.”

He isn’t sure if Satoru even hears him over his gasping breaths and Suguru is scared to touch him, but he has to do something. So he crouches down in front of Satoru and opts to just put his hand to his knee, letting him know that he’s there.

Predictably Satoru jerks violently, but Suguru doesn’t move away.

“It’s just me, Satoru, and you’re in our kitchen. Everything is fine, there is nothing to worry about,” Suguru soothingly tells him but Satoru shakes his head.

“Broke it,” he gasps out between breaths and Suguru’s eyes dart over to the broken cup.

“It happens,” Suguru gives back. “Are you hurt?”

“You’re mad,” is what Satoru answers him with and Suguru frowns.

“Why would you think that?”

That only makes Satoru’s breath come faster again and Suguru curses himself.

“Hey, it’s alright, it’s nothing to worry about. I’m not mad, I promise. Can you take a deep breath for me?” he asks and takes one himself, making as much noise as he can in hopes that Satoru will hear him and try to match him.

It takes a while before Satoru manages to follow Suguru’s breathing along and when he peeks up between his arms, Suguru gives him a big smile.

“You’re doing great,” he encourages him. “Can you stand up? You’re barefoot and there are shards all around. I don’t want you to get hurt, so why don’t we move to the living-room?”

Satoru visibly hesitates, before he nods and Suguru helps him up, steadies him when he almost stumbles and then he leads him out of the kitchen, making sure that he doesn’t step into anything that could hurt him.

Suguru sits Satoru down on the couch and crouches down in front of him again, peering up at Satoru.

“How are you feeling?”

“Are you mad?” Satoru whispers out and Suguru reaches out to take his shaking hands into his.

“I’m not.”

“But you yelled.”

“I was scared you’d get hurt. I remembered you’re barefoot. You could have cut yourself.”

“I broke a mug.”

“That happens.”

Satoru falls silent after that, clearly mulling something over and Suguru knows that he’s doing better when he flushes a violent red, clearly beyond embarrassed and ashamed.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Satoru whispers out and tries to hide his face away again, but Suguru doesn’t let him. “I never wanted you to see.”

“There is nothing to be sorry about,” Suguru reassures him, even though he wants to scream and yell and hurt the people who hurt Satoru like this in the first place.

What happened just now made it more than obvious that Satoru did not have a good home life, that abuse must have been regular there, and to think that it took Suguru this long to put it together makes him feel ashamed.

He could have helped Satoru so much sooner, if only he knew what was going on.

“Satoru, can I hug you?” he asks and only moves once Satoru gives him a shaky nod.

Suguru sits down on the couch next to him, before he pulls him into his arms and to his relief Satoru comes easily.

“I’m sorry I made you feel afraid,” he whispers into his hair and he feels Satoru freeze.

“I’m not—I’m sorry for messing up.”

“You didn’t mess up, Satoru. You just dropped something. It happens to me, too.”

“But that’s different,” Satoru mutters and Suguru has to bite his tongue to not argue with him.

It’s not the best time, not with how Satoru still shakes in his arms, but this is something they have to talk about. It’s also something they are going to need help with and Suguru wonders if Satoru is open to therapy.

“Satoru, I’m not mad and I love you,” Suguru says instead of arguing with him and he feels how his shirt grows damp with Satoru’s tears.

“I love you, too. I didn’t want to mess this up,” he chokes out and Suguru shifts them around until they are stretched out on the couch, Satoru still save in his arms.

“You didn’t mess anything up,” Suguru promises him. “It was an accident. The only thing that’s important right now is that you’re not hurt. We’ll figure everything else out later.”

Satoru briefly tenses at that but when Suguru drops a kiss to his head he relaxes again.

“We’re going to have a talk, huh?” Satoru asks, forcing himself to sound chipper and Suguru sighs.

“Yeah, Satoru, we’re going to have a talk,” he confirms. “About how we can help you feel safe here. But that will come later. Right now, a nap sounds pretty amazing, don’t you think?”

“It’s you. I usually know I’m safe with you, it’s just—”

“Sometimes you forget,” Suguru fills in for him when he goes quiet and feels Satoru nod. “That’s alright,” he goes on, because with what he just saw it’s already a big step for Satoru to say that he usually knows Suguru is safe.

Today was just really unfortunate with the cup and his yelling but as long as Satoru isn’t normally afraid of Suguru they will figure all of this out.

“You’re not going to leave me now, are you?” Satoru dares to ask after a long moment and Suguru squeezes him tight.

“I’m not going to leave you, ever,” he promises. “We’re going to figure this out together.”

“Then it might be less scary,” Satoru whispers.

“I’m glad. I love you.”

“Love you, too,” Satoru mumbles, clearly on the verge of sleep after all of this and Suguru simply lets him drift off.

They are going to have a talk, as soon as Satoru feels up to it, but for now Suguru holds Satoru close to his heart, glad that he feels at least safe enough to be here with him at all.

[thefrogdalorian]

Hello! 

You may (or may not... I don't like to presume) have noticed my little break from posting. I just wanted to share something in case anyone was worried about me and assure you there is no need to be :) 

There isn't really one reason for why I've been on hiatus, but I guess a collection of things. 

I was really poorly with covid but thankfully I'm feeling a lot better now! But being so sick and stuck in I guess made me reevaluate certain things. 

Since recovering I got to see a lot of people I really adore with my whole heart, as well as being lucky enough to experience so many things I love with them.

And it made me realise what truly makes me happy in life. I suppose it really put things into perspective for me. I'm thinking more and more that tumblr (and being online generally) is something which unfortunately does not spark joy any longer. 

To be honest, (as I'm sure many people who were given far too much unsupervised access to the internet at a young age also do), I have a complicated relationship with social media. It doesn't make me feel good most of the time. I don't know how to handle some of the things I read and some of the things people have said to me. And just like I do irl, if the vibes feel off, I usually retreat into my shell to regroup. 

While I have made so many friends over the years of being chronically online and spoken to plenty of great people, I can feel myself getting drained again. And I really haven't missed it during the time I've been away.

I've filled my time with a lot of reading (I read Pride and Prejudice THREE times... doing amazingly), some writing and lots of long walks in nature. It's been really good for me!

As a result, right now, I just don't feel like continuing to post on this blog.

This decision wasn't caused by anyone or anything in particular. But when I've made my mind up about something, it's pretty impossible to change it. I've been mulling it over for a few days and my heart is telling me to go.

Anyway, I'm going to continue working on my WIPs and most likely continue posting them to AO3. It's by far the least social media-ish platform out there, and I really like posting on it. 

I need to take a step back to remember why I started writing, which was really as a way to get emotions out and to scream into the void a little. I don't enjoy sharing my work on tumblr, I kind of felt like I had to rather than genuinely wanting to. 

Truthfully, I just want to create and consume others' work in peace. I don't want to feel like I need to market my writing or whatever or compare myself to others. As much as I try not to, I think it's only human nature. 

So, I guess I'm really making this post to say I'll be going on a hiatus from tumblr. But I don't intend to stop writing or posting to AO3 and I hope to see you over there! 

I have no idea how long I'll be away for. Who knows... when winter comes around and my seasonal depression returns, or perhaps there is a major Mando update, maybe I'll return! 

For now, all there's left to say is how much of a pleasure it was posting about Mando and talking with you lot all these months. 

If anyone (mutual or otherwise) would like to keep in touch, feel free to message me for my discord! I'd be happy to continue chatting to you on there.

For me, in the headspace I'm currently in, one on one conversation is far less intimidating than being perceived by lots of people lol. 

I'll likely drop in at some point soon-ish and check for any of those messages, but until then, it's not a goodbye, but a see you later! 

Please care of yourselves and be kind to others :) 

Love,

Spud 🐸🩷

[hockeygossipunhinged]

Hello, there’s a lot of questions, so to keep from cluttering the blog I’ll answer here before I go to sleep. If there's more I'll answer in the morning.

Does the friend group go on Tumblr or know people stalk their filmandfrendz account?

Yes they are on here (i'm probably gonna get jumped lol). And yes they know people are watching, they love the attention.

does sammy keep her account private for her sake or does the hughes tell her to and she wants her account to be public?

It's a personal choice, she doesn't want hate or harassment from people.

How do they fight exactly lmfao

idk what you mean by this question, but mainly over the phone unless they're together. Idk they yell at each other a good bit.

Wait so Jack doesn’t give a shit that Sammy did that to his brother?? Wow could you tell us more anon on why he doesn’t and isn’t weirded out if you do know! 

I love Jack to death, I truly do, but bro doesn't use his head unless it involves hockey. I do want to say in Jack's defense, when Luke would tell people about Sammy he never referred to her by name, my ex and I only knew bc we witnessed it. He didn't confirm it was Sammy until like January, but by then Jack was so smitten with Sammy he didn't care. I think it's weird as well and a lot of people in that circle do too, but Jack's mental health was really bad last season so that's why people are being more careful with criticizing their relationship bc despite her faults, she was really there for him during injuries and bad games.

I have to ask, anon. Why does he compare get to an owl lol? 

Because Sammy looks like one, that's about it.

hello knowledgeable anon! ik you can't send proof, however may i ask a question that could prove you do generally know the boys? associates of jack would know, but what was he getting up to in PA in may 2021? yes this is a test lol. not to expose him fully bc I know this isn't really public, so you can put it in vague terms.

Bad bad boy did bad bad thing while being a behind a vroom vroom ( i cannot give specfics or i'll get jumped or sued his team lurks here and they'll know it was me). The only thing I will say specifically is that he didn't do anything that was insanely illegal, like behind bars level. He's just an idiot (i say lovingly).

Secondly, do you know if Luke is seeing anyone right now? One anon said they spotted Luke in Michigan holding hands with a brunette but he’s still following girls on Instagram so idk 

Last I heard he was texting a few girls (i felt like a proud mom) but I don't think he's particularly seeing anyone yet.

What does not serious mean? Like they aren't dating but are exclusive? Or does it mean moving in together, marriage, etc?

Like moving in, possibly getting married in the future etc. They are exclusive.

To the anon with all the tea, is Jack actually 5’9? Cause he always looks really short, but I know he’s listed at just under 6’0

Well brother would look 5'11 if he ever learned how to stand up straight and quit bending his knees when he stands. But I think he's actually like 5'10 1/2 or 1/4 idk somewhere around that.

Were they always toxic or did this start a couple months ago? they seemed so happy at the family skate like he kept looking back and smiling at her.. it could be for show who knows

this is fairly recent, ever since they've been doing long distance.

I am not saying this against anon. So if Jack and Sammy are super volatile, she hasn't visited him after surgery, they blew each other off in NY etc, how did her joining him at the lakehouse/concert come about? Like they had an argument months in the making, hooked up, and suddenly he was like "yo you want hang out in Michigan for a few days?" I have minimal experience with situationships, but just the thought feels exhausting and peculiar.

Their relationship wasn't toxic in the beginning, that's a new development. Jack had a really rough season and his mental health was really low at a lot of points because of that and Quinn and Luke having good seasons. Sammy isn't a good person, but she was there for him when he was injured and when he had rough games. I think Jack is holding onto those good times and really looking through rose colored glasses when it comes to the toxicity of it all. He really thinks their problems stem from long distance so her being there will fix everything.

What did Olivia think of Sammy?

Olivia is a sweetheart, so she probably liked Sammy. Sammy is nice to people she deems important, so she was probably nice to her bf's brother's gf.

Thank you anon

[satureja13]

Summer Solstice - Part 3 It starts -> here

Jack thought it's time for the others to finally get up too. To not waste their precious time here in Henford. This is supposed to be a special trip for them since it had been Vlad's last wish to come back here because they'd been so happy and carefree here on their first visit. Ji Ho and Sai are too tired to have an opinion about this, but Jack, with his endless energy, dragged them to a clearing where they started with their daily yoga practice (which is helping Jack with his pain).

Even though the night had been short - and Ji Ho is still a bit drained from teleporting the TukTuk - they felt a lot fresher and fitter after practice. Before the others return, Ji Ho wanted to talk with Jack and Sai about what Princess Jihovere learned about in Saarburg: Tantra.

They sat on Jack's blanket and Ji Ho told them about the benefits of this kind of yoga. Noxee had sent Ji Ho two books and now he shares what he already found out. (Noxee was very excited about Ji Ho's request and she thinks that it would help Sai and Jack (her 'kids') a lot! (She'd kind of adopted Jack and Sai after they'd been rescued from the Lab a few years ago. But this didn't stop Jack from having a major crush on her, neither that she's in love with his biological father, Greg...)

But back to topic. Ji Ho: "Here, this book says: 'Tantra is a method to expand the mind and liberate the dormant potential energy. Tantra principles form the basis of all authentic yogic practices.' It's not just about sex, like many think. There are a lot of beginner friendly exercises for us we could do together. I would love to do them with Vlad since it could help us to build a better and deeper relationship, but I know that he would hate it ^^' There are Tantra yoga and meditation practices so we just could replace our daily practice with Tantra exercises. If you like?'' (It seems the Little Goats/Satyrs are already very interested. Food for their plots and twists ^^')

That does sounds interesting indeed. Saiwa is positive that this could even be a replacement fo their therapy until they can safely log in again, if ever... Maybe it will even help him to get back together with Jeb? And Jack is up for it too (Jack has too much energy anyway, so usually he's up for anything, but he's also easily distracted by something else ^^') Ji Ho told them a bit more and they started with a few breathing and meditating exercises.

When Vlad, Jeb and Kiyoshi returned from jogging, they had breakfast together, took a quick shower (not together ^^') and called the horses. The rest of the day they are going to spend by the river.

It had been here, in Otherworld's Bramblewood, where Ji Ho found Yang Mal, his horse. We took such beautiful pictures of them -> here and here.

They took their time to explore the surroundings. It's so beautiful here, Jack didn't think much about his nightmare and trauma. He remembered the good times they had here during their first trip. It's good to see Jack is leaving his trauma behind. It was a good and brave decision to stay here. And not to give in to his fears. Jack to Ji Ho: "Haha do you remember when we rehearsed for the trailer video after I'd lost my swimming trunks?" Saiwa to Jack: "I do! You almost got killed because some monster hunters thought you were attacking Ji Ho and kidnapped a boy omg!" (TMI: Oh my, that's almost 2 years ago! And the monster hunters had been adult Jack's sons from our other story universe! And my posts had been only 1-3 pics long ^^' And we never found out how Jack managed to lose his trunks... ö.ö)

They dismounted the horses by the river to go for a swim. The perfect day and weather. A bit cloudy, so it wasn't too hot. The only thing too hot - in Jeb's opinion - was Saiwa in his stupidly short shorts and this too tight tank top...

We weren't able to call the horses before ~ 6 am because they 'were sleeping'. So why, only a few hours later, are they so tired again? -.- Plus - it's happening very often that the relationships between the boys and their horses get erased and they don't know each other anymore. I had to move in Valerian and Kiri because we weren't able to call them. Lol and Saiwa, Jeb and Kiyoshi were running to the other 'entrance' of the river even though I'd told them to go swimming where Ji Ho, Vlad and Jack went in... Nothing is easy in these worlds. Maybe Jeb needed to cool down after seeing Sai in his new swimming trunks.

Nonetheless they had a lot of fun! And it was healing. When they'd been here for the first time, they had no worries and troubles. Well a few, but not like it is now. I hope they will have more peaceful times like these in their future.

They spent the rest of the day by the river before they packed up in the evening and the TukTuk took them back home to Tomarang.

Ah, this was a nice and healing Summer Solstice! Jack did so well. The others too. They made huge steps towards living all together again (more or less) comfortable. Like before. And they could scratch one point off of their bucket list :)

'Lady, running down to the riptide Taken away to the dark side I wanna be your left-hand man I love you when you're singing that song And I got a lump in my throat 'Cause you're gonna sing the words wrong

I just wanna, I just wanna know If you're gonna, if you're gonna stay I just gotta, I just gotta know I can't have it, I can't have it any other way'

Riptide - Vance Joy

The Therapy Game Master Post with the sessions and places so far is -> here

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest Current Chapter: 'Who killed Jack?' from the beginning ▶️ here Last Chapter: 🕹️ 'The One' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

[milacandless77]

𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 | 𝐉𝐔𝐉𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐔 𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐍

ηαηαмι кєηтσ/ яєαɗєя ѕυgυяυ gєтσυ/яєαɗєя gσנσ ѕαтσяυ/ яєαɗєя

IMPECCABLE— NANAMI KENTO

cнαρтєя 4: тняєє ɗαтєѕ Ɩαтєя

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

chapter summary: Things get chaotic in the car with Suguru, just as they do on the dance floor of the bar with him and his friend Satoru. However, the next day you wake up to find out you have a scheduled therapy appointment. This is where you meet Nanami Kento, and you're captivated by his aura from the very first moment.

After a long day at the university, you arrive home exhausted and collapse onto your bed with a sigh of relief, releasing all the accumulated emotional burden.

The exhaustion comes not only from the amount of homework but also from the damn rumor that spread like wildfire: "You saw your ex-boyfriend die and probably caused it." The stares and whispers behind your back relentlessly torment you. To make matters worse, the kiss on the cheek from Suguru and the company of his friend Satoru, who doesn't belong to the design faculty but to business, added fuel to the fire, if that were even possible. Learning that both have open relationships with attractive girls and the idea of being their next "shared lover" only complicated things further. Now you understand why they laughed between themselves when Suguru mentioned he didn't want to share this time.

Could this be more overwhelming? But amid the chaos of the rumors, there is Nobara, defending you like a medieval warrior. Then Itadori appears, explaining that he left class early just to check on you. His caring gesture comforts you; the boy really is a sweetheart. You tell them that you finally accepted the recommended psychological help and already have an appointment scheduled at the mental health hospital. They both hug you, happy with your decision.

In the middle of the mess, it reassures you to know that you have Nobara and Itadori by your side, reminding you that you are not alone in this madness. You laugh, remembering how they supported each other to avoid hitting those who spoke ill of you.

"What did you say about her? Why don't you come and say it to my face? I warned you, I'm going to beat you up!" The defiant voice of Nobara and her fist ready like a machine gun still resonate in your mind.

Itadori avoids fights, always protecting you and stopping Nobara when she gets upset. But when they call both of them crazy, he becomes an unrelenting pursuer.

"Hey, what did you say about my friends?! Come here." Then he runs after the person until he gets tired, returning only when you tell him

“Itadori, it wasn't necessary." Remembering these scenes makes you shed a few tears of gratitude that you quickly wipe away.

You change the subject in your head to what really worries you: going to the bar "Eden" to meet Suguru. You wonder if his friend will also go. Wait... does his friend also know what you did? Oh, God, you just hope not. You look at the clock and realize it is already 7:30 in the evening. If you were a cartoon character, you would have a big exclamation mark above your head, as you are always late for any place you are supposed to be.

Your excuse? You are just a girl who needs a three-hour routine to leave the house confidently, knowing you look good and can't skip any step of it. You quickly hop into the shower to take a bath and start getting ready.

You don't want to dress up like this, but it is necessary because the place you are going is usually frequented by wealthy people, which means dressing up more than usual, even though it is a youth bar where people dance, drink, and probably use drugs. After getting ready and checking the time again, it is now 8:30 pm. You opt for formal pants as the base and a black corset as a top, complemented by small black-heeled shoes.

You remember that you had invited your friends Itadori and Nobara to the bar. However, an hour after the agreed time with Suguru, both were stunned when you suggested the idea. They quickly accepted, although they usually go with other friends and not with you. They were surprised that you wanted to go, given that you had always declined before. When they asked what made you change your mind, you simply mentioned that you needed to distract yourself, relax, and get a little drunk. After this sudden change in attitude, they accepted even more enthusiastically, especially Itadori, who excitedly said he would introduce you to his friend Megumi so you could finally meet him.

Now you wonder if you will arrive on time to meet different people at different times. You estimate you will arrive around 9:30 pm and hope the conversation with Suguru will last at least half an hour, though you would appreciate it if it were even just a minute.

The invitation to your friends is also to have a decent answer when your mother asks where you are going. Saying, "I'm going to a bar to talk to a stranger about how he will save me from going to jail for fun and wants to take advantage of me," is definitely not an acceptable response.

You grab your cell phone with a growl, irritated by the constant buzzing of messages that have been coming in for half an hour. Checking, you see they are from two unknown numbers. You decide to start reading them, automatically deciphering who they could be just by reading their messages.

Unknown Number 1:

- Hey, how are you getting to the bar?

- Will you be late as always, Mary?

- Forget it, I'll pick you and your friends up too. I expect you to be ready at 9 pm sharp.

- You don't need to give me your address; I already know it. ;)

A shiver runs down your spine. How the hell does he know your address? And that you invited your friends? Worse yet, how does he know you are always late? You decide to save the contact as "Suguru Extortionist" and move on to the next number.

Unknown Number 2:

- Hey pookie~

- Suguru said he would pick you up; I wish I could have done it myself :(

- It's unfair; ever since he's had his eye on you, he hasn't shared like before, but you can schedule me as the best sex of your life ;)

N-O. W-A-Y. You don't need to think twice to know who it is. You save his contact as "Satoru Albino Rat" and head to the group chat with Itadori and Nobara to let them know you will pick them up. Both respond, puzzled, knowing you don't drive well, but you promise to explain when you get to their houses.

The sound of a car horn outside makes your stomach churn. Incredible, he really knows your address. You leave your house, trying to calm yourself as you head towards the car that screams "luxury" from miles away.

"Hey, Bloody Mary," greets Suguru, stepping out of the car with his typical playful smile and a cigarette in hand.

You respond with an intense look, to which he lets out a light laugh. You get into the luxurious car and quickly fasten your seatbelt, feeling like the man drives as if he were in Formula 1.

"You look gorgeous, I loved that you dressed up for me," he says while looking you up and down with a smile.

"Don't get any weird ideas. Did you expect me to go in pajamas to a place like that?" you respond, rolling your eyes. You decide to address the topic that concerns you. "Can we quickly discuss what we need to talk about? After picking up my friends, we won't have time in the bar."

"You want to talk about that in front of your friends? I didn't know they also knew," he replies with clearly feigned surprise.

You stare at the road, trying to ignore the colossal idiocy that came out of his mouth, as you realize you are close to Itadori and Nobara's houses. At this point, you are not even surprised that he also knows their addresses.

Minutes after picking up Nobara and Itadori, Itadori breaks the silence to mention that Megumi will meet them at the place, while Nobara indiscreetly asks how you became friends with Suguru, the idiot guy who burned you with a cigarette days before. You simply say he supported you that same day of the accident, almost forced by Suguru's gaze.

The journey continues in silence until Suguru speaks.

"You can connect to my car's Bluetooth if you want."

You take the opportunity and connect, quickly choosing "Obsessed" by Mariah Carey. You laugh mockingly at Suguru's expression upon hearing the song.

"It looks like you regret letting me connect, huh?" you say as he disconnects your phone and plays "Lost In The Fire" by The Weeknd with his own.

Now it's your turn to make weird faces, feeling your friends' eyes full of questions. Both are throwing musical hints, and Suguru laughs at your annoyance with just the beginning of the lyrics.

"No!" you protest, trying to change the song, but he lightly slaps your hand and gestures "no" with his finger, clearly enjoying the moment.

Upon arrival, Suguru gives the valet his car key, indicating to park it next to his friend Satoru's car. You almost freak out knowing he had also arrived. You get out of the car with your friends, leaning on them to keep your balance, but they immediately overwhelm you with questions.

"Are you dating him? Since when? Did you guys do it?" Nobara whispers.

"Did he visit you at the hospital? Is he a good guy? How did it start...? Hey, Megumi, over here!" Itadori shouts, calling out to a spiky-haired guy.

"No need to shout, Itadori," Megumi responds with slight annoyance.

Itadori introduces you as a great friend, and you thank Megumi for taking Itadori and Nobara to the hospital.

"Thank you for caring for a stranger" you say, shaking his hand with a smile.

"It was nothing. I like helping my friends," Megumi replies, blushing slightly as the five of you head to the bar entrance.

Suddenly, you feel Suguru grab your arm roughly and pull you quickly inside the bar, leaving behind your friends and your new acquaintance, Megumi. You try to turn to see them, but soon lose sight of them. You give up, thinking that in this big, crowded bar, it will be difficult to find them.

The long-haired boy guides you through the bustling bar, the sound of music filling your ears along with the sharp smell of alcohol and tobacco. Finally, you reach a reserved area, marked by a red ribbon. There you see Satoru, the white-haired guy, surrounded by women and men clearly flirting with him.

Suguru doesn't need to say anything; his presence alone is enough to make everyone move aside, making space for both of you to sit next to Satoru. As you sit, Satoru leans in, breathing on your neck and whispering:

“You look too beautiful right now, darling.”

He kisses your neck and then pulls back, lowering his glasses to look at your reaction. You can't express your annoyance; his aquamarine eyes shine brightly, mesmerizing you even in the darkness of the place.

“Do you want some?” Suguru interrupts your trance, offering you an alcoholic drink that looks delicious and a joint.

You know that accepting is dangerous, but danger has always attracted you. You take the drink and sip it like water, then start taking hits from the joint, feeling the excitement of the forbidden course through your veins.

.

.

Everything went to hell, but this time because you decided it. You felt high, and for some strange reason, you had found your friends on the huge dance floor. You knew they were also drunk, maybe even as high as you. You had no idea how you got there, but you knew Suguru and Satoru were also on the floor. Nothing mattered to you. In fact, you felt attracted to the danger. Smiling coquettishly, you began to approach them, enjoying the game as the seductive music played everywhere, facilitating your entry into the role.

“Hey, look who we have here” Satoru gave you a flirtatious look.

Satoru positioned himself behind you and Suguru approached from the front, forming a human sandwich around you.

“Tell whoever you want what you know, no one would ever believe a junkie like you” you whispered in the dark-haired guy's ear as you stood on tiptoes to match his height, causing him to laugh.

“Junkie? Are you referring to yourself?” Suguru responded as he lit a cigarette and began gently touching your jaw, and Satoru placed his hands on your hips.

“What do you mean by that? What do you know, Suguru?” Satoru asked playfully as he gently caressed your rear.

“No idea, she's as high as we are” Suguru lied with a victorious smile at you.

The tension became suffocating, completely taking your breath away. They started to dance provocatively: one approached from the front while the other slid sneakily from behind, brushing your rear with increasing intensity. Satoru, wasting no time, lunged at your neck to start kissing it, and you couldn't help but shudder, feeling the heat ignite between your legs. Suguru's lips called you insistently, but you resisted giving in so easily. However, the guy didn't wait for you to decide and approached you, bumping noses and breathing heavily, until he finally kissed you with a voracious passion, as if he hadn't tasted lips in years. The situation became increasingly wild: the kisses were messy, sometimes you turned to kiss Satoru, and other times he continued kissing your neck. Occasionally, they even shared passionate kisses between them, while their hands explored your breasts and rear. It stopped resembling a dance and turned into a public threesome, with tension flowing without limits.

.

.

You wake up with the worst headache of your life and the strange sensation of not being in your bed. The sun's rays hit your eyes, and as you cover yourself, you perceive a strange smell in the sheets. The chaotic memories of the previous night flood your mind. You realize you're still wearing the clothes from the day before, and this isn't your room. Did what you think really happen? You scream shamelessly, not caring if someone hears you.

Suddenly, a white-haired guy runs in, wearing only underwear, with a frying pan on his head and a dish soap bottle as a weapon, followed by a dark-haired guy who seems to have just woken up. You are startled to see them.

“What's happening? Who came in?” exclaims the white-haired guy, and you react by hitting him with a pillow as he runs away.

Suguru stops you, carrying you like a sack of potatoes while you struggle.

“Calm down, we just kissed the three of us, nothing more” he tries to reassure you as he sets you down on the couch.

“What?! You know, I still don't believe you” you protest, but Gojo laughs at you.

“Relax, besides that, we didn't do anything to you. You're intact” he says, but you remain skeptical.

You check your phone and discover missed calls and worrying messages. Your appointment was unexpectedly rescheduled to an hour from now.

“No way!” you exclaim upon seeing the rescheduling and run to the bathroom to see your disastrous appearance in the mirror.

The white-haired guy recounts how he read your text messages, replying to your mother that you slept at Nobara's and to Nobara that you are fine, and learning about your rescheduled appointment with the psychologist, while the dark-haired guy eats cereal without concern.

“And why didn't you wake me up?” you hit the white-haired guy with the pillow while the dark-haired guy watches impassively.

“I can take you” Satoru offers, pointing to himself as you continue to hit him until he offers again and you stop.

“I can't go like this, I look like a mess. They would put me in the psychiatric ward” you complain.

“Believe me, even if you fix yourself up, you'll end up in the psychiatric ward” Suguru jokes, earning an annoyed look and a middle finger from you.

“I'll lend you some clothes” the white-haired guy says excitedly as he does a hip dance and then takes your hand to lead you to his closet.

“Wait, do you live together?” you ask while the guy rummages through the closet, scattering clothes on the floor and some garments falling on you.

“Nope, but we almost always hang out at each other's places” he responds with a smile, pointing out a knitted sweater along with some pants.

“Okay... I'm not going to ask why you have women's pants in your closet” you comment with a puzzled expression, but then laugh, at least knowing the sweater is his “At least the pants are clean?”

“I assure you” he says, pinching your belly with his index finger, making you laugh.

You quickly changed, although you had a little argument with the white-haired guy because he acted as if he didn't hear you when you asked him to leave the room so you could change. The dark-haired guy joined the fight, as if he had finally woken up from the sleep that kept him drowsy. After miraculously winning that fight, you locked the door and emerged wearing Gojo's clothes. You said goodbye to the dark-haired guy and almost ran to the luxurious car of the white-haired guy, who made a silly joke by starting the car and pretending he would leave without you.

The white-haired guy didn't stop teasing you about your reaction throughout the car ride, making you roll your eyes and huff as you crossed your arms. After a few minutes, you arrived at the hospital and stayed inside the car for a few seconds, during which the guy teased you again.

“Oh come on, it was very funny” he said, but you just rolled your eyes at his comment.

“Look, it would have been funny if you hadn't done it to me. I have to go, thanks for bringing me” you said, smiling slightly although still pretending to be annoyed.

You got out of the car alone after the guy mentioned he had to attend to some matters, which you didn't care to ask details about. Although he offered to pick you up later, you refused, knowing he would probably try to be funny again and you wanted to avoid that with the headache you already had. You could only think about how bad you looked now, with makeup smudged and oversized clothes. The sweater was enormous, like you were swimming in it.

You entered the mental health hospital, nervously walking through the area. You had no intention of seeking psychological help; for you, it was a waste of time you couldn't afford. You hated opening up to strangers about your problems, but you agreed to please your mother and friends. After walking down the hallway, knocking on the assigned office door with insecurity, a soft voice welcomed you.

“Come in” you were relieved to recognize you had been assigned a female psychologist, as you had requested over the phone. If it was already uncomfortable to open up to a stranger, it would be even worse if it were a man.

The relief was brief. Upon entering, you saw two people: a brunette woman sitting at the main desk, with scattered papers, calmly observing you.

“Miss, if you would like to sit, please” said the psychologist, pointing to the armchair in front of her desk. You froze for a moment, perhaps because of her obvious tone.

As she indicated where to sit, your eyes were drawn to a blonde man in the corner. He wore glasses that accentuated his gaze and was focused on writing in his notebook, seemingly unaware of your arrival, yet exuding a natural charm that captivated you. You felt a magnetic pull towards him, slightly hypnotized as you watched his graceful and concentrated movements.

You tried to offer a smile, but the discomfort and tension within you intertwined in a tangle of emotions that made you feel very vulnerable. When the blonde man closed his notebook and looked up at you, his perfectly sculpted face displayed a seriousness that seemed to know your deepest secrets with just one glance.

“Hello, nice to meet you,” you managed to articulate, feeling a lump in your throat as his eyes seemed to strip your soul bare. He crossed his arms, observing you with curiosity and a hint of something more difficult to identify. “I’ve never been to a psychology session before; I thought it was usually just one person who conducted the consultation.”

The psychologist, a brunette woman with a reassuring smile, searched her desk for some papers while exchanging a puzzled look between the blonde man and you. It was as if the air was charged with silent electricity among the three of you, each aware of the tension floating in the atmosphere.

“Oh, now I understand why you looked a bit lost when you came in,” the psychologist laughed, trying to break the ice that had suddenly formed. “They probably didn’t call you as I asked to inform you that we’d have a supervisor visiting during the consultations. I know you preferred to consult with a woman. Is this your name, right?”

You nodded, taking the papers she handed you while struggling to keep your composure in front of the man’s presence. As you filled out the required information, you could feel his penetrating gaze following your every hand movement.

Finally, the mysterious man introduced himself as the psychiatry specialist, his deep voice resonating in the room, sending a shiver down your spine. He extended his hand to you with a gentle smile that nevertheless couldn’t hide the intensity between the two of you.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Nanami Kento,” he said, his voice warm and deep in the small space between you. “Stay calm, as if I’m not here. These visits aren’t frequent; it was just luck that you got this on your first time.”

Although you tried to remain calm, it was impossible to ignore Nanami’s overwhelming presence. His attractiveness was undeniable, and you found yourself battling a tide of emotions that seemed to increase with every second you spent in his presence.

“Here you go,” you handed the papers with your information to the psychologist, unable to avoid looking at Nanami.

“Thank you very much,” the woman quickly reviewed them and maintained her calm smile. “You can start by telling me why you decided to seek psychological help these days; there can be several reasons, don’t worry.”

As the psychologist handed the papers to Nanami, he began to review your information with growing interest. He had heard a certain pink-haired boy mention a similar situation.

“You see, a friend recommended this mental health hospital to me because he mentioned that it’s run by a man he considers like family, his second father, to be exact,” you paused before continuing. “The real reason? As I wrote in the form, I witnessed my ex-boyfriend getting hit by a bus right in front of me.”

Nanami’s eyes widened with surprise. Something clicked in his mind; you were the same girl Yuuji had talked about. He gripped the papers more tightly and observed you with a sparkle in his eyes that you couldn’t tell if it was curiosity or something else until he intervened in the conversation.

“Excuse me, Shoko. I know I told both of you that I wouldn’t interfere in the session, but this is the girl Itadori mentioned.”

Your head seemed to explode. How could this extremely attractive man be considered a second father by your friend? Was he joking? He definitely had “dad” vibes, but not exactly like a common father, more like “daddy.”

“Oh, yes, of course, go ahead,” responded the psychologist, apparently named Shoko. You realized that it seemed like the whole hospital knew about your special case.

Your dear, gossip-loving friend would get a good scolding from you, you thought to yourself.

“See,” Nanami began, standing up. It was incredible; the man was already impressive sitting, but standing was something else. Besides being handsome, you could see every muscle through the cream-colored suit he wore. You felt attracted in a way that made you feel terribly guilty, considering how special he was to Itadori. You were probably staring too blatantly, but Nanami snapped you out of the trance as he continued speaking. This time, he knelt in front of you and lightly touched your thigh, perhaps to comfort you, given that he already knew your whole story beforehand.

“I understand that this has been very difficult for you,” Nanami whispered in a soft, deep voice, his intense gaze fixed on yours. “I’m here to help you process all this, step by step. Yuuji has told me a bit about your situation, though I guess you already figured that out a few seconds ago.”

You wanted to respond, but the words got stuck in your throat. You decided to let him speak.

“So, Shoko, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take charge of your patient’s sessions,” he turned to the psychologist, who quickly nodded, allowing Nanami to address you again without removing his hand from your leg. “I know you might think you don’t need the help of a psychiatrist, but what you’ve been through is very difficult to process. You’ll probably need medication to control some reactions like nightmares. Do you agree with all this?”

Upon hearing that, you simply nodded, enjoying his closeness. The subtle touch of his fingers on your skin sent a shiver of excitement through your body. You felt a magnetic attraction enveloping you, an emotional connection growing with every gesture and word from Nanami, while he just smiled calmly. Meanwhile, you felt like you were melting inside just from that.

.

I don't have much to say except that from this chapter onwards, things will get more complicated and spicy 🌶️😎. Love you all, goodbye, and thank you so much for the virtual support. 💗

(The fan art it’s not mine)

You can find me on AO3 as @milacandless77

The anterior chapter:

[itsalwaysforyou]

hold me together.

kenny ortega, descendants 2 / holly black, red glove / nicole homer, underbelly / ada limon, a new national anthem / k c cramm, christmas eve forever / kenny ortega, descendants 3 / the crane wives, curses / silas denver melvin, let dead dogs lie / natalie wee, least of all

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

[shepherdenjoyer]

this is the information that we had about D dog. that's the info on her page (put through a translator, but its accurate) regarding how she is with other animals, and during the interview reactivity was only mentioned as a possibility not as a known fact about this dog. only dog? no problem. no cats? even less of a problem. potential for reactivity? sure. it can happen with any dog. known aggression towards other dogs? why the hell are you waiting for people to apply and go through a fucking interview before letting them know a week later that they're not fit for this dog and that that's the reason why. all that does is give people false hopes and upset that could be avoided by clear, direct, honest communication of a dog's issues/challenges. i heard about the specific language/way of wording things shelters and rescues use but i had hoped it wouldnt be a universal thing, at least not something i'd experience myself. turns out i was wrong!

maybe im being immature and unfair to these people, they probably dont all have the same amount of knowledge of the dogs and communicating all that inbetween volunteers/workers/and us can be difficult. but im angry and im allowed to express that ffs.

[sk3l3t0n444]

.

[tonycries]

One More? Please? - G.S.

Synopsis. A kiss always solves everything! But when a kiss turns into something more…well, it’s only a desperate attempt to unseal yourselves from this damned prison realm, right? Right?

Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, unprotected, coworkers to lovers, being stuck in that damn box, oral (female), mutual másturbation, spitting, fáce-sítting, máting press, Satoru is down bad for you, chóking, overstim, multiple rounds, créampie, pet names (sweetheart), swearing.

Word count. 4.4k

A/N. Happy belated two months to this blog! Concept inspired by this post by @kingkonoha.

“Maybe we should kiss and see if the box opens?”

“That’s the dumbest fucking thing to ever come out of your mouth.”

“Hey- it works in the movies! True love’s kiss and all-”

You heave out a heavy sigh that makes even the skeleton at your shoulder shake its head in pity. Goddamn, if these curses weren’t going to kill him then you will. 

“I take it back. That’s the dumbest fucking thing to ever come out of your mouth.”

Satoru hooks a thumb over his blindfold to gaze at you with mock seriousness. Oh, how the mighty have fallen - and how you were teetering dangerously close to a stroke with each dramatic bat of his long lashes.

“C’monnn~” he whines, with the flair of someone that was not sealed in an inescapable prison, “Don’t tell me that in all these years you’ve never once been at least a little tempted to kiss me, sweetheart.” 

“I’d rather kiss that dusty skull.” Shooting him a pointed look that makes even the skulls at your feet recoil. It would almost be hilarious if it wasn’t for the fact that you were trapped. In the prison realm. With Gojo Satoru of all people. Possibly forever.

Shit, is this karma for all those times you ditched Satoru with Nanami instead of dealing with him yourself?

Now, Satoru might be going about it with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, but just a few minutes ago when his life flashed before his very eyes at the mere sight of Suguru - or at least, the monster wearing his body - he’d expected some of his favorite memories to be the ones with you in it. 

You - his lil’ coworker - in all your gorgeous, smart-mouthed glory. And maybe if he was lucky, he even expected a couple glimpses of you in his future. Preferably with a giant rock on your finger.

But that’s a story for another time, what he certainly did not expect was for your stupidly heroic (and quite beautiful) ass to jump right in the middle of the prison realm’s ensnarement. 

Although, honestly, right now he doesn’t think he’d want to be locked up in here with anyone but you - and that withering glare you send him. 

Undeterred, Satoru has the audacity to throw his head back and laugh. Laugh. A sound you’ve come to realize over the years, as innocent as it sounds, does not bode well for you or your sanity. 

A sanity that’s been slowly dwindling since your first day of meeting Satoru. Back then, a brash, cocky new teacher that waltzed into the halls of Jujutsu Tech in those pretentious sunglasses like he owned the place. 

Well, not that he was any different right now. Lounging over some disgruntled skeletons, you half-expected him to pull out a deck chair and start sunbathing amidst the bones. Your begrudging coworker - and occasional bane of your existence - seemed right at home. 

You, however, were decidedly not having the time of your life. 

“I swear, you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” you grumble, wincing at the bones prodding you from almost every angle. 

“Can you blame me?” he hums, now fully tugging down his blindfold to hang around his neck, “It’s not every day I get to spend quality time with my favorite person in the world.”

You scoff, strangely self-conscious as those striking blue sweep your figure from head to toe. “Lucky me. Well why don’t you spend this quality time helping me figure out how the hell we can get out of here.”

“I already told y-”

“Anything but that.”

With a sulky huff, Satoru peers down at you, “Then we just wait till someone gets us out of here. I’m sure Megumi-chan is just tearing his emo hair out trying to unseal this thing.”

“...”

“You’re absolutely correct, Yuji then. Or…” he tilts his head towards a sad pile of bones, “We end up like our little friend over there. Though I’d make a far better looking skeleton-”

You don’t hear the rest of Satoru’s rant over the small noise of concern that falls from your lips. Something hot and prickly pooling in your stomach at the fact that yes you really were stuck in the prison realm with Gojo Satoru. Possibly forever. And no this wasn’t some strange dream like when you and Shoko accidentally raided the wrong brownie box in the kitchen.

Shit. 

And perhaps it showed on your face, because you’re jolted out of your reverie by warm fingers intertwining with yours. Grounding. Satoru’s eyes now searching yours with an intensity that made you squirm uncomfortably. 

“Hey, we’ll figure this out, okay?” he mutters softly. “Remember that time we accidentally set the training ground on fire?” leaning in closer now, “Or that mission we got chased by that cursed vending machine?”

You roll your eyes, a reluctant smile tugging at the corners of your lips despite yourself. “Yeah, and then you nearly got us killed trying to order a sweet tea. ”

Satoru chuckles, squeezing your hand reassuringly. “See? It worked out, didn’t it? It always does, sweetheart.” 

And if your heart does a strange little lurch, well, then you just blame it on the femur jabbing into your side. 

All is quiet in your little hell. That is, until.

“Hey, Satoru…does kissing really work in the movies?” 

You barely catch the way Satoru’s breath hitches ever-so-slightly as he leans in closer. eyes sparkling with mischief. And oh you knew that look - one that was usually accompanied by a lecture by Yaga, one that sent shivers down your spine. He grins, “Well, there’s only one way to find out, hm?”

Embarrassment and amusement bubbles inside you, tumbling out in the form of a barely-audible, “A peck. One.”

“Awww. Eight?”’

“No.”

“Five?”

“Satoru.”

Minty breath fanning your face, “Okay okay, one peck and a kiss to your forehead. C’mon, it’s a bargain~”

Pinching your nose, you sigh out a weary, “This is so stupid. Fine, but if it doesn’t work then I’m strangling you.”

And it’s all that is said before his lips are on yours.  

Soft. Satoru’s lips were so soft. And he tasted so unfairly of caramel apples and sweet, sweet mischief. Just like him. Feather-light and fleeting - yet the kiss burns into your brain with an intensity that you strangely didn’t mind.

It’s over before you know it. The cold air hits your lips as Satoru’s words ring in your ears, a disappointed little, “Aw, that didn’t work.”

Barely even risking a glance at the still very sealed realm, your body reacts before your mind - the expensive cotton of his uniform collar soft against your fingers as you pull Satoru towards you with a sense of urgency you can’t quite explain.

And then you’re kissing him. And he’s kissing you because shit this is all that Satoru’s been dreaming about since he turned 23 and suddenly realized that oh you were frighteningly everything that he ever wanted. 

“S-Satoru,” you whisper, breathless against his lips. 

“Shhhh, my girl. One more. Didn’t work.” 

His lips are searing on yours. Urgent and greedy, because fuck if it took getting trapped in the prison realm to finally kiss you then God knows when he’ll be able to again. 

Which is why he breathes you in like he doesn’t have enough time, and probably never will - even in this godforsaken box where time never passes. 

“Shit. O-one more.”

Drinking in your sweet gasps as he intertwines his tongue with yours, tasting how sinfully delicious you were. Satoru’s hands wander the expanse of your body, cupping your head to kiss you deeper, snaking down to squeeze your ass - and everything in between. 

Pulling away ever-so-slightly with a playful bite to your bottom lip, he leaves a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck. The disappointed whine that leaves your pretty mouth makes all the blood in Satoru’s body rush to his cock. 

“Sweetheart.” he grunts into the crook of your neck, lips ghosting over your racing pulse. “Y’think I kissed the wrong lips?”

Oh? 

Satoru’s words send a jolt of electricity running down your spine - all the way down to your heated cunt. “W-what?” you managed to choke out, cheeks flaring as he raises his eyes to meet yours and-

Oh.

Oh, shit. If the curses weren’t going to kill you then Satoru sure might. 

You’re snapped out of your thoughts by Satoru carefully jostling the two of you so that he’s lying on his back, your body manhandled to straddle his pretty face. 

“Satoru, when you mean ‘wrong lips’...here?” you trail off, still reeling from him and the abrupt change in position and him. 

“Exactly what I mean,” he chuckles, the sound rumbling through his chest and vibrating beneath your dripping cunt. “Now, spread ‘em wider f’me. Let me taste you- Need it s’bad.”

Body moving as if on autopilot, your knees part wider to let him greedily take in the sight of your soaked panties. Beads of slick seeping through the thin fabric each time his hot breath meets your cunt. 

But not for long - the cool air hits you before you realize what’s happening. Because Satoru is ripping your flimsy panties off with one hand. Throwing it behind to God-knows-where with the urgency of a madman. 

“Shit, so wet f’me already.” he groans, mouth watering at the obscene sight of you clenching around nothing. “S’gorgeous. You really are perfect everywhere, huh?” he mutters through lazy, languid kisses along your thighs. Tongue darting out just so to leisurely trace circles along the heated skin. 

Strong arms wrap around your thighs, the stretch nothing with the two long fingers spreading your swollen folds apart. Your face burns from just how adoring Satoru looks below you.

You buck into his touch, “Hngh- Please. Wan’ your mouth on me.”

And perhaps the great Gojo Satoru decided to be merciful for once in his life, because without another word, he’s surging forward. Tongue flicking out to tease your sloppy entrance, pooling your juices before tipping his head back, back, back to let it slide down his throat so sinfully.

Shit, Satoru could just cum in his pants right now, of course you taste heavenly. Better than he could’ve ever imagined on any lonely night. 

You shudder as he flattens his tongue across your folds, sliding teasingly between them, grazing your swollen clit just barely at an unhurried rhythm that almost has Satoru forgetting where he was. But quite frankly, he couldn’t give less of a fuck about it either.

“This what you wanted, sweetheart?” he hums around your clit, the vibrations making you squeal. Sucking gently, tongue rolling harshly against your bundle of nerves, over and over- “Cause it’s what I’ve been wanting for years.”

The words ring in your ears almost as much as the lewd squelches below. Years?

“F-fuck- feels hngh- What do you mean y-years, Satoru?” 

Oh, Satoru thinks he could pass out just at the way you whine out his name so prettily. Eyes rolling to the back of his head, a hand hastily snaking down to unbuckle his pants. “Mhmm~ Couldn’t go a day without sparring with you where I didn’t think of bending you over and tasting you right there y’know.”

Your eyes snap down to meet Satoru’s hazy, half-lidded ones. Something dark and feral shining within them. And right now, thighs wrapped around his head, you don’t think he’s ever looked happier. White locks splayed out, a fucked-out expression on his face as his tongue bullies past your folds, you could feel the slight smile curling his lips against you. 

It’s overwhelming - both his confession and the way Satoru was making out with your cunt like a man starved.

Nose-deep in your pussy, tongue alternating between its abuse on your throbbing clit and dipping in and out of your sloppy hole at a maddening pace. Mouth only speeding up ruthlessly at the way you convulse and grind involuntarily on top of him.

God, Satoru was going insane at the way your walls were sucking him up so good, clamping down with each push of his tongue. 

“Shit- made jus’ f’me. You like that, don’t you?” he growls against your cunt, voice hoarse with desire. “Like fucking my face with your pussy?”

“Oh! Ngh, yes Satoru- L-love it-”

A bruising grip on your hips, encouraging you to rock against his face. Harder. Tongue more desperate. He couldn’t get enough. Meeting your every grind, tongue lapping at your cunt so obscenely. 

Breaths ragged and hot against your cunt, drinking you in with the desperation of a man that wouldn’t mind giving up air for your essence. And it was Satoru - of course he wouldn’t mind.

Especially with the large hand snaking up your thigh, going from drawing reassuring patterns at your hips to rubbing tight, little circles on your pulsing clit. Hasty, and urgent - like he had no time to waste. “Tha’s right, my girl. Give it up for me,”

Every cell in your body is on fire, every nerve ending singing with pleasure at the way Satoru plays your body like an instrument. 

“M’close, Satoru- Hah- s’close.” you moan breathlessly, a hand tangling in his soft strands. Using it as leverage to ride Satoru’s pretty face just the way you like it.

But you didn’t have to - because Satoru seems to already know exactly what to do. Exactly how to quirk his tongue just right to brush against all your most sensitive spots. Exactly how to match the rhythm of his abuse on your clit to the way he was tonguefucking you into delirium. Exactly how to look at you with such a hungry expression that devours you almost as much as his mouth. 

“Cum f’me, sweetheart.”

Satoru didn’t even have to ask. Because you’re cumming with a strangled gasp of his name. White-hot pleasure coursing through you like lightning, body trembling as you cum all over Satoru’s pretty face. 

Hands moving your limp, boneless hips across his face, forcing you to ride out peak after peak on his red lips.

As the blood roaring in your ears bates, and you blink back your vision, the first thing you see are those familiar blue eyes gazing up at you. Holding you steady, lips brushing gentle kisses along your inner thighs. 

Oh, how beautiful he was like this.

“S-S’toru?” you mewl, still sensitive from your orgasm as Satoru shifts underneath you to sit you prettily in his lap.

“Mhm?” he nuzzles your neck.

“One more. It didn’t work.”

Oh, if you knew the only way to shut up Gojo Satoru was to say something like this then you would’ve done it a lot sooner. 

But Satoru’s stunned silence doesn’t last for long, because he grins, low and sultry, “You’re right. It didn’t work.”

The metallic clinking of a belt echoes in the stuffy chamber as Satoru hastily pushes down his pants. Cock springing free to hit his lower abs, “What a shame.”

You blink at the sheer size of him - he was going to split you in two. It was unfair, really. Water is wet. Gojo Satoru has a big dick. 

But oh was he pretty - so pretty.  Prominent veins glistening in the dim lighting, fat tip flushed your favorite shade of delicate pink, leaking furiously in between your thighs.

Gulping, you reach out to wrap your hand around his achingly hard cock. So warm and heavy in your hands. “Y-yeah, what a shame.”

Both of you watch - entranced - at the way he twitches in your grasp at the mere sound of your voice. A maddening little bump! bump! bump! against your palm as you begin pumping him slowly - so agonizingly slow. 

“Oh- Feel s’good, sweetheart.” Satoru hisses lowly as you swipe at the precum beading at this head. Thumbing teasingly under his sensitive slit, tracing delicately along his veins. 

And by God does it do something to you to see the great Gojo Satoru falling apart for you, hair tousled, lips kiss-bitten, and eyes looking at you like he wanted to positively eat you alive. It made your cunt throb so desperately, slick forming a dark wet patch on his trousers. 

Not one to be left behind, his long fingers deftly snake down to your dripping cunt. Not wasting any time before bullying his fingertips past your swollen folds, curling expertly to press down against that one spot that has your fist faltering on his cock. Hard. 

Pretty little moans left your lips at the way Satoru so easily matches your pace. Thrusting knuckle-deep into your pussy in and out - hitting that spot over and over.

“Shit, Toru- s’deep inside me. I’m- hngh-”

Satoru was in heaven, really. You were so warm and wet around both his fingers and his throbbing cock. 

Only two thoughts running through his mind right now - 1. He was right, your hands were softer and more sinfully delicious around his swollen cock. And 2. The hardest battle he’s ever fought was probably right now - at your mercy, trying not to spill all over your hands because he’d be damned if he finally scored the girl and came in two seconds.

Shit, he thinks fingers almost erratic now, he needs you to cum. Right now. 

As if sensing his urgency, your moves become more frantic, Satoru’s brows furrowing at the way you increase your pace. His hips twitch, as if trying to thrust into your fist. matching your pace as you start stroking him harder, faster. 

Ah, but alas, the great Gojo Satoru’s reputation precedes him. 

“Oh, fuck- M’gonna-” And soon enough, you’re seeing stars behind your eyes - or maybe those were tears - as you cum. Hard. 

Body moving before your mind, you’re clenching around Satoru’s fingers, grinding down so ferally as you edge him closer and closer. “C’mon, Toru. One more, right?” you whisper brokenly, lips ghosting his ear.

Breath coming in short, strained gasps of what sounded like your name now, “Oh- fuck ngh- so close.” he warns, voice hoarse. “If you keep doing that, I won’t be responsible for what happens next.”

You smirk, raising a brow, “Is that a threat, Satoru?”

Willing his fucked-out eyes open, they bore into yours as he utters, “No, ah- it’s a p-promise.”

Without warning, Satoru clasps your wrists, forcing you to stop pumping him. The disappointed mewl threatening to spill from your lips is cut off just as your back hits the ground.

Slam!

You think you could almost get whiplash from how swiftly Satoru had you caged and splayed out so shamefully beneath him. 

You whine, “But you didn’t even get to-”

“Fuck, not now. Gotta feel you or else m’gonna cum so embarrassingly all over your fist.” He rests his throbbing erection laid out so enticingly across your stomach, leaking hot precum onto your skin. And that makes you shut up, eyes mapping where it ended and realizing that yeah, you might’ve faced more mercy with the curses outside of this box. “Besides. One more, right?”

And before you can respond, Satoru’s spitting on you once. Twice. Thrice.

You flinch as the wads of saliva hit your dripping cunt, mixing with your slick so obscenely as Satoru smears it across your swollen folds. Your mouth drops into a soft oh! of disbelief as he promptly pops his thumb into his mouth, groaning at the taste. 

“Shit.” Satoru hisses lowly, “One more might just not be enough.”

Not wasting a moment longer, he’s bullying his throbbing cock into your snug cunt. Head thrown back as your plush walls desperately try to accommodate his size.

“Oh. Oh shit hah- should’ve been locked up here ngh- sooner.” he groans, words straight from his cock. “Feel s’heavenly around m-me.” Because God Satoru thinks he wouldn’t even mind staying here for the rest of his life if it meant he got to have you like this.

You moan at the positively delicious stretch of your pussy, plush walls unable to decide between pushing him out and milking the soul out of him. “Hah- Toru s’too big. I can’t-” 

“You will.” he grits out, teeth clenched and brows furrowed as he focuses on letting you adjust. Pressing inch by fucking inch. Eyes rolling to the back of his head as he fights that feral part of himself that just wants to plunge into your pretty pussy till his tip kisses your cervix, and you’re drunk on nothing but his cock.

But he didn’t have to - because you’re immediately wrapping your legs around his toned waist, pulling Satoru to you recklessly until his heavy balls smack your ass. Tufts of snowy white hair - already so wet with your slick and his precum - finally meeting your cunt.

“Ah! Shit, s’full Toru.” you keen, body bowing into his.

There’s not even a hair's breadth between your bodies now as Satoru chuckles darkly. “You little minx. Thought you couldn’t handle me, but you really wanted to be split apart on my cock, huh?”

You feel almost shy under his gaze as you mumble out a quiet little, “Well you did say one more.”

Ah, Satoru thinks deliriously, if you aren’t Mrs. Gojo by the time you two get out of this then there’s seriously something wrong with him. 

But he doesn’t tell you that. Instead with a satisfied smirk, he claims your lips in a searing kiss, sucking your tongue so lewdly as he did with your cunt. Parting for only a second before pressing his lips to yours again. And again. And again, as if it hurt to part.

“Mhm. Always wanted to do this, sweetheart.” he hums against your pretty lips. “Fuck ever since you hah- walked in on that first day.” 

Kissing you sweetly with a tenderness that doesn’t translate to his hips as pulls back, back, back. All the way till his angry, hard tip was just grazing your sloppy entrance. “One more.”

Body moving before his mind, his hips start fucking into your dripping cunt recklessly. Satoru doesn’t fuck you with the finesse he imagined he would all these years, rough, harsh thrusts fueled by pure need and all the desperation from these last few years.

In one, fluid movement, the burn of the stretch hits you before the realization that Satoru has thrown your legs over his sculpted shoulders. 

“Ah- So good, Toru. Oh my god- hah-” you mewl at the change in angle. His pulsing dick expertly hitting that one spot inside you which has your words slurring together, body arching off the floor to press so impossibly close against him. 

And, well, Satoru isn’t any better - because he’s slamming his cock into you mindlessly. Hitting that spot over and over. 

With one hand, he caresses your stomach. Whispering out a ragged, “Feel me inside? Feel me right…” Pressing his palm down hard, “Here.”

The other forces you to look up at him, drinking in your whines of “Yes yes yes, can feel you s-so deep hngh- inside me, Toru.” 

You’re so cockdrunk and full of Satoru that you barely notice the hands groping their way down your body. Catching harshly on your swollen clit, starting to draw, quick, frenzied circles that match the cadence of his hips smacking into yours. 

“Look at me.” he murmurs raspily, “Open your mouth.”

And you can do nothing but take it, tongue lolling out so lewdly for the warm stream of spit that hits it. Once. Twice. 

You look up at him with teary eyes, as you take it all -  anything and everything he was giving. And it makes Satoru bow his head with a fucked-out groan, cock twitching so animalistically as it keeps plunging inside you roughly. Deft fingers on your clit becoming more desperate.

Harder. Faster. Balls squeezing so painfully. Like a lamb to slaughter, he was going to eat you up - and you were going to let thim.

You squeal at the overstimulation, hips bucking up for more more more-

“God, sweetheart, you don’t know what you do to me.” he moans, voice strained with desire and the euphoria of getting everything he’s wanted for so long. It was driving him insane. “Now c’mon. One more. Give me one more like my good girl.”

“Hngh- yes- Toru!”

You don’t even know what “one more” means anymore - all you do know is that you’re cumming and cumming all around Satoru’s unforgiving cock. Walls fluttering so snugly, your body convulses as you cream around his cock. Nails dragging down the expanse of his sculpted back, Satoru’s name leaving your bruised lips and into the heady air like a prayer every time his tip kisses your cervix. His new favorite melody.

And that seems to be what makes him snap as well - because with a final, sloppy thrust, he’s painting your walls such a sinful white. Pumping thick, hot ropes of his cum into your quivering cunt. 

“Shit- yeah, my girl. Take it. Take it all f’me.” Satoru shudders above you, head thrown back, chest heaving as he fucks you through your high. Movements nothing more than shallow, mindless little thrusts to get you both off so animalistically. 

It was so fucking filthy - and exactly what you needed so badly. He was exactly what you needed so badly. 

Now, Satoru only had to take one look as you use him so obscenely for your pleasure - eyes dazed, drool trickling down the corner of your mouth - before he thinks he might just cum again. And again. And again until he physically couldn’t anymore.

But first…

Pulling out of your heavenly pussy with a lewd pop! His long fingers delicately collects the mixture of slick and cum now gushing out of you obscenely. 

Aw, what a waste, Satoru muses as it pools below you sinfully. If it was up to him he wouldn’t waste a single drop from your pretty cunt. 

But no matter. 

Abruptly, Satoru bullies two fingers into your mouth - forcing you to taste yourself, to taste him. Pressing right at the back of your tongue in a way that has you choking and gagging around him, teary eyes just begging up at him. Perfect - you were so perfect for him. 

Kissing your forehead with a tenderness that doesn’t match his actions, he hums, faux innocence lacing his words, “What a shame, the box didn’t open yet.”

And oh does he love the excitement lighting up your exhausted eyes. Pretty thighs twitching underneath him as a slow, fucked-out little smile curls your lips. 

“One more? Please?”

A/N. Plagiarism not authorized.

[qqueenofhades]

https://www.tumblr.com/qqueenofhades/743255237060689920/the-thing-that-confuses-me-about-the-dont-vote

The “don’t vote” left’s point is basically that, if Biden gets a second term, it’ll basically signal that “They’ll vote for us as long as we’re not Republicans, why don’t we do some REAL fucked up shit, if we can get away with it?” It takes the power out of the people’s hands and places it firmly in the party’s.

I can’t completely disagree with that, my caveat is that there’s no real alternative system or party in place, because top-down change is ineffective; a third party president has to contend with a two party congress.

Except no. This whole "Biden just wants to do as much fucked up shit as possible while not being a Republican, and if you give him a second term he'll do more fucked up shit deliberately to spite you" mindset is only possible as an interpretation if you a) deliberately and comprehensively ignore everything he has done to date, and b) you approach the situation with the maximum bad faith possible. Not to mention, the ultimate outcome of this Big Important Teaching Biden A Lesson is that Trump gets back into power and makes everything orders of magnitude worse, because he does in fact want to deliberately do evil shit to everyone and says so at every opportunity. There is not some magical happy alternative that springs into existence by not voting. If you choose this as a year to Teach Biden A Lesson, you are enabling Trump. Trump will be much, much worse. If you don't care about that, I still do not care what your Great Ideology is. You are not helping anyone and you are directly and irreversibly hurting everyone.

I made a post a few days ago wherein I mentioned that I want to assess Biden fairly, taking into account both strengths and weaknesses, but the rampant bad-faith, lying, misreading, misrepresentation, and open sabotage of him (especially by the online left; the GOP sometimes only wishes they were as good at turning Biden's voter pool against him) makes it really difficult to do that. My frustration with those people makes me just want to go "BIDEN IS GREAT THE END." I know he is a flawed old man (though by literally every account of a career spent in public service, he really does care about making the world a better place and any remotely good faith reading of his accomplishments thus far can see that). It is also very likely that he goes MORE left in a second term because he won't have to face the electorate again, he has always gone more left when pushed before, and he's not actually the scheming genocidal mastermind that leftist social media paints him as. Shocking, I know.

I know there are things in the world we don't like and don't want and want to stop, and therefore we blame our own president for not making it stop. But I have zero, no, none, absolutely none whatsoever sympathy for this pseudo-populist "WE NEED TO TEACH BIDEN A LESSON BY ELECTING TRUMP AGAIN, I AM VERY MORAL MUCH ACTIVIST" mindset. There's this funny thing about America wherein it is still (for now) a democracy. If Biden wins a second term, he can't run again. I would take literally anything these people said more seriously if they focused on developing their dream progressive successor for 2028 (and also figured out how to get that person elected and in a place to make real change) rather than cynically sabotaging Biden in the most consequential election year, again, of our lifetimes. If you don't like him now, find a way to make his successor a better option. Throwing a toddler tantrum and handing the country back to a senile, deranged, fascist, revenge-riddled, theocratic Trump HELPS. NOBODY. I still don't know how many times I'm going to have to say that, but yeah.