#i just want to let u know that i love this with every fiber of my being thank u op

[hyunpic]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HYUNJIN 🖤

[teamatsumu]

how about soft! dom xav (& rafayel if u want/can) with a shy, nervous reader?

warnings: fem!reader, smut, nsfw, swearing, soft!dom xavier and rafayel

XAVIER:

I firmly believe that Xavier is a soft dom more than anything else.

He is often unexpressive, withdrawn, and so it can be hard to tell what he is thinking or feeling. But this does not apply to you.

Xavier knows you are shy, and often get anxious. So he tries his best to communicate with you even if it is tough for him.

In bed, he can almost feel your apprehension. It hides in your tense muscles, every fiber taut and strained. He can sense your uncertainty, unsure of what to do, so he takes the lead.

He will maneuver you into a position he knows you would both enjoy, pinning you in place and making sure you are stimulated enough that all the worries dissipate from your mind until it is nothing but mush, focused only on how good his cock feels, the electricity shooting up your spine from how his thumb works your clit.

His lips are pressed close to the shell of your ear, and though he is not big on words, his moans of your name are answer enough.

“So good. You’re so good, darling.”

It’s simple words, but coming from him, they light a fire in you. They make you arch your back up to him, and Xavier hums in approval. He hooks his hands under your knees and pulls them up to your chest into a fucking mating press, until the angle has you creaming around his rapidly pounding cock.

And he will moan in tandem with you, almost as if deriving his pleasure from yours, and when he is close to finishing, he huffs in your ear about how he’s going to fill your pussy up and how you’re going to take it. Not a request, an order, and you comply enthusiastically.

Aftercare is detailed and delicate, with him running his hands over every joint he bent harshly, making sure he soothed your aches. Best believe he will run a bath for both of you to relax in as well.

RAFAYEL:

Let's establish one thing about Rafayel; he is a yapper.

He talks, and talks, and talks, and that includes bedroom activities.

During your first time, he can tell just how nervous you are, so his way of reassurance is with his words.

He’s always teasing, always sassy, but it dims when he sees your apprehension, and it is replaced with sweet encouragement, telling you just how much he loves you, or how pretty you are, or how he’s going to take good care of you.

He guides you through it, hoping that vocalizing will help you become more comfortable.

“Lay back for me baby, just like that. You look so pretty like this.”

As things start getting hotter and heavier, best believe the talking will get filthier. And his voice will get more and more broken.

“Such a pretty little pussy. Can’t believe you were hiding this from me all this time. My cock could’ve been buried in you a lot earlier if I knew.”

He guides you with gentle but firm hands into positions he knows will hit all the right angles, and while his cock has you mewling and squirming under him, his teeth nip at your jaw and neck, leaving tiny marks like he’s marking his property.

“Need everyone to know who you belong to, sweetheart. Nobody else is gonna fuck this little cunt. Only me.”

And it’s this dirty tongue and furiously pounding cock that pulls orgasm after orgasm out of you, cooing and crooning about how sexy you look and how he wants to immortalize you in a painting forever.

Aftercare is more lighthearted. Rafayel is back to his teasing, whiny self. He makes quips about how you moaned so good for him until you groan in embarrassment and try to push him away. He is undeterred though, he has ammunition to banter back and forth with you. Also, he made you cum so many times that you couldn’t even count. This man’s ego isn’t coming down to Earth anytime soon.

[zapreportsblog]

OH MY LORD I LOVE EVERYTHING YOU WRITE FOR ME ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Now imma bother u again lol.

I need more angst and fluff hahah sorryyy.

So another argument between the poly!volturi kings x reader where they say something like “You are my greatest regret to ever have come into my life.”

And reader burst ot in tears and she is already suicidal so yknow she just gives up, they stop her and so on. And then she Apologises or something and they say some like this.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t you dare try and apologize for something you haven’t done or anything to do with!”

Pleaseee🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 Love ya byeee❤️❤️❤️

↱ ending things ↰

➘ summary : remember words can hurt so best be careful with what you say

➘ the volturi x reader , aro x reader x marcus x caius

➘ a/n : I did as asked….though you didn’t say anything about there needing to be a happy ending hehehehe though I gave you the closure of an apology that was the fluff part; cheers!

Within the hallowed halls of the Volturi castle, tension hung heavy in the air, an unspoken weight that seemed to seep into every corner. The kings of the vampire world, Aro, Marcus, and Caius, stood in a circle, their expressions marred by frustration and anger. In their midst stood (y/n), the human mate of these immortal beings, her eyes brimming with a mixture of defiance and hurt.

Arguing had become an unsettling pattern, each disagreement intensifying the fractures within their relationship. Tonight, the culmination of unresolved issues reached a breaking point.

"Why can't you see reason, (y/n)?!" Aro's voice rose with exasperation, his eyes aflame with frustration.

"Because this isn't just about what you want, Aro!" (Y/n)'s voice trembled with emotion, her own frustration taking its toll.

Caius, his usual calm veneer shattered, couldn't contain his anger any longer. "You are my greatest regret to ever have come into my life," he spat, his words laced with venom.

The words hung in the air like a poison, the silence that followed suffocating. (Y/n)'s eyes widened in shock, her heart clenched with a pain she had never anticipated. She felt as if the ground beneath her feet had crumbled, her world shattered by the weight of Caius' words.

Tears welled in her eyes, a mixture of anger and heartbreak roiling within her chest. Without another word, she turned on her heel and fled, her footsteps echoing down the corridor as she sought refuge from the pain that seemed to grip her soul.

As she ran through the twisting passages of the castle, her thoughts were a tumultuous storm. How had it come to this? The love that had once bound them felt distant and fractured, replaced by hurtful words and unspoken resentments.

Reaching a secluded chamber, (y/n) collapsed onto a stone bench, her breath coming in ragged gasps. She wrapped her arms around herself, as if seeking to shield her heart from the agony that seemed to seep into every fiber of her being.

The door creaked open, and she looked up to see Marcus standing in the doorway. His expression was a mixture of regret and sadness, a reflection of the turmoil that had torn their bond asunder.

"(Y/n)," he began softly, his voice a gentle murmur, "I know things have been difficult."

She met his gaze, her eyes filled with a mixture of pain and confusion. "Marcus, what has happened to us?"

His footsteps were soft as he approached her, sitting beside her on the bench. "We let our differences and frustrations build up, and we forgot the strength of our connection."

Tears flowed freely down (y/n)'s cheeks, her emotions raw and exposed. "Caius... his words..."

Marcus sighed, his gaze distant as if lost in his own thoughts. "Caius is burdened by his past, (y/n). It wasn't an excuse for what he said, but it's important to understand that his emotions are complex."

The echoes of the argument still reverberated in (y/n)'s mind as she stepped out of the castle, a tumultuous mix of emotions threatening to engulf her. The cold night air stung against her skin, a stark contrast to the heated tension she had left behind. Seeking respite, she wandered through the quiet streets until she found herself on a bridge that spanned a calm river.

Perching on the ledge, her feet hanging over the water, (y/n) let out a deep sigh. The night sky stretched above her, stars flickering like distant beacons. Her thoughts were a storm of conflicting emotions – anger, hurt, confusion – and they mingled with the ever-present shadow of her mental health struggles.

Gazing down at the water, (y/n) traced the ripples with her eyes, lost in the rhythm of their gentle dance. Her relationship with the Volturi kings had been a source of joy and turmoil, an intricate dance between love and frustration. But tonight, their argument had unleashed a torrent of emotions she struggled to contain.

Tears welled up in her eyes, her heart heavy with the weight of it all. She had always battled her own inner demons, the darkness that threatened to consume her. Her mental health had been a constant companion, sometimes a gentle whisper and at other times a deafening roar.

As she stared at the water, the tranquility of the scene before her offered a fleeting sense of solace. It was a reminder that even amidst the chaos, there were moments of stillness and beauty. But the struggle within her heart was far from over.

With a heavy sigh, (y/n) leaned back, resting her weight on her hands. Her thoughts drifted to the times of laughter and connection she had shared with the Volturi kings. But they were now overshadowed by the hurtful words and the fractures in their once strong bond. She felt lost in a sea of emotions, uncertain of how to navigate her feelings.

Her mental health struggles, too, gnawed at the edges of her thoughts. The battles fought within her own mind often left her feeling exhausted, and tonight was no exception. It was as if her inner turmoil had found its way into her external world, amplifying the pain she felt.

As the moonlight cast its silvery glow over the Volturi castle, a sense of unease settled within its halls. The lower guard had just informed the kings that (y/n) had left the castle, setting their hearts racing with worry. Without a moment's hesitation, Aro, Marcus, and Caius followed the scent that led them through the winding paths of the castle grounds and out into the night.

The scent was a trail of uncertainty, a reflection of the turmoil that had led her to leave. Each step carried them closer to the bridge that spanned the quiet river, and the kings felt their anxiety rise with every passing second.

Approaching the bridge, they saw her figure seated on the edge, her silhouette framed against the moonlit waters below. The wind rustled her hair, and her shoulders seemed weighed down by the burden of her thoughts.

"(Y/n)!" Aro's voice was a mixture of relief and concern as he called out to her, his footsteps slowing.

Hearing their voices, (y/n) turned to face them, her expression a mix of surprise and sadness. The sight of the three kings standing before her felt surreal, a reminder of the complexities of their bond.

Marcus stepped forward, his voice gentle. "We were worried about you, (y/n)."

Caius' gaze was piercing, his eyes reflecting his inner turmoil. "Why did you leave?"

Tears welled up in (y/n)'s eyes as she met Caius' gaze. His voice held a note of desperation that struck a chord deep within her. She had caused them to worry, to fear the worst, and the guilt gnawed at her heart.

"I needed some space," she admitted, her voice wavering with emotion.

Caius' expression softened, his concern evident as he took a step closer. "You scared us, (y/n)."

The bridge seemed to hang in a delicate balance, the emotions of the moment swirling like a storm. And then, with a desperation that seemed to pierce the very air, Caius pleaded, "Please, don't do anything rash."

His words hung heavy, the weight of his concern palpable. (Y/n) could see the fear in his eyes, the raw vulnerability he rarely revealed. It was a reminder that their bond, as fractured as it was, still held a deep connection.

"I sorry, Caius," she chocked, her voice trembling. "I sorry, I’m so sorry,” she cried like a broken record.

The air seemed to thicken with tension as (y/n) and the three kings stood on the bridge, their emotions swirling in the night. Caius' plea had pierced the silence, his concern palpable, and the weight of his words hung in the air like a heavy shroud.

Caius took a tentative step forward, his gaze unwavering as he locked eyes with (y/n). His voice was a mixture of remorse and desperation as he spoke, his words cutting through the charged atmosphere.

"Don't you dare apologize. You haven't done anything wrong. This is my fault."

Tears welled up in (y/n)'s eyes as she met Caius' gaze. She felt the truth in his words, the raw sincerity of his regret. But the turmoil within her heart couldn't be silenced by reason alone, and a choked apology escaped her lips.

"I'm sorry, Caius. I'm so sorry."

Caius' frustration seemed to deepen as he closed the distance between them, his movements deliberate and careful. His voice softened, a mixture of tenderness and self-blame.

"Stop apologizing. You don't have to carry this burden."

But (y/n) could only shake her head, the weight of her own emotions bearing down on her. "I'm sorry, Caius. I'm tired."

The words were a whisper, a reflection of her weariness. The constant battles within her own mind, the complexities of their relationship – it all felt like too much to bear.

And then, before anyone could react, a shocking moment unfolded. (Y/n) stepped back, her gaze still locked on Caius, her voice trembling as she whispered, "I'm sorry," one last time.

And then she jumped.

Time seemed to freeze in that agonizing instant, the sound of her body hitting the water echoing in their ears. A primal surge of panic coursed through them, their hearts racing as they stared at the spot where she had been.

Aro, Marcus, and Caius were paralyzed, the shock of the moment rendering them immobile. The bridge that had once represented a moment of reflection had now become the stage for a heart-wrenching tragedy.

As reality settled in, Caius' expression twisted with a mixture of grief and disbelief. He felt as though his very soul had been torn asunder, his voice frozen in his throat.

"(Y/n)?" Aro's voice was a whisper, his eyes wide with shock.

The ripples on the water were the only answer, their gentle dance a stark contrast to the chaos of emotions that roiled within them.

[haechvn]

Dating Shuri Udaku Headcanons

Pairing: Shuri x F!Reader

Warning: Fluff, Angst and Smutteroni

Summary/Request: pls do something that has to do with how it’s like to date shuri ! it can include fluff, angst, smut ( if you’re comfortable w that ), etc. with fem!reader <3 thank u for doing gods work !!!

Word Count: 0.87k

Author’s Note: Thank you for the request Anon! Working on multiple request simultaneously so here's one that's short and sweet. I want Shuri to be my girlfriend ong

Taglist :  @melodykissess, @blackhottie25, @tonakings, @coalmistyy, @szalipcombo, @prettyluhlaiiii, @yelenabelovasgff, @callmeoncette, @clqrosmgc

Fluff

Constantly staring in your eyes as a way to let you know that she is always there and present with you. 

whenever you walk into a room, she’ll grab your hands and kiss all of your knuckles will she stares into your eyes 

Never lets anyone talk to you in a disrespectful manner

Puts you before anything and anybody bc you are all that she has left. You have been with her through thick and thin and she feels like her owns you all the best parts of herself

Names science experiment after you and your name nicknames she gives you

Speaking of, she loves to call you princess, my love and lover

melts when you call her kitten, i wonder why

Devote as much time as she can reminding you of your gorgeous looks on a daily basis because “Bast, how did I get so lucky with such a beauty like you. I just wanna eat you up!” Then she does. 

NECK KISSES. CHEEK KISSES. SHOULDER KISSES. HAND KISSES.

She enjoys kissing you more than breathing no cap.

Loves tickling you from behind so she can kiss your neck and feel that ass on her–

Always flying you out when you feel upset or down or just because.

five star hotels, exquisite cuisine from all around the world and anything designer is yours

Shuri may be a Princess but she is definitely you sugar mommy holyshit

if you cry for any reason at all, sends $200k and spends the rest of the day with you so you can feel better

Treats you with the utmost respect and loyalty.

never has wandering eye, not that anyone else could ever get her attention

Lets you in on who she is fully and trusts you with every fiber of her being

Never puts you in harm’s way and is always by your side when you need it.

She is very precious and gentle with you. Her love feel like a warm cup of tea honestly

Dating Shuri is so fun and it’s like hanging out with your best friend all the time

Angst

Constantly having to have conversations with Shuri about how she can’t live her life in her lab if she truly values your companionship.

“Babe, I get that you need to figure out the molecular level of whatever you just said but if you miss one more date with me, you’ll have to miss me.”

which follow with her trying to argue back before realizing her faults and preceding to shower you in gift, money and that DI-

Tends to close herself when she thinks about her family for too long

Buries herself in work whenever she questions her scientific skills to try and proves herself wrong 

usually leads to her forgetting to contact you to let you know how she’s doing or what she may be up to. 

Punches herself if she makes you upset but she has learned a lot recently about dealing with other and has formed more mature and effective forms of communication so it’s not a big issues for the two of you

Overall pretty healthy relationship so there aren’t any actual problems that you don’t talk through

Smut

Shuri is a scientist. Which means she is always building sex toys for the two of you from scratch

She made you your own black panther suit bc she’s a horny fuck and thinks the suit would look so sexy on you.

Fucks your face with her pretty kitty until she has cum at least twice

likes making you eat her out on places that make you nervous so she can watch you freak out while your face is stuffed between her legs

She also love fucking you in her black panther suit

the same way her helmet can disappear, so does the part of her suit that hides her pussy and something about tribbing you in her suit drives her crazy

she can also sync the vibranium strap to her suit and fuck you that way if she wants as well

Off rip, the two of you would make such a sexy couple so there’s do denying that you won’t be able to keep your hands off of each other.

I feel like during sex is when she tends to use a lot of her leadership skills on you

She looking to see you shake and quiver under her just by the slightest touch

She could eat your pussy 24/7 everyday in the week. And she definitely tries to 

Loves choking you but ALSO LOVES BEING CHOKED ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE TOP AND RIDING SHE WANTS YOU TO TAKE CONTROL AND BE THE HERO

HAS A KINK FOR YOU CALLING HER QUEEN/HIGHNESS (that’s why she gives off daddy vibes yall!)

Would be drilling your pussy from the side almost every morning before sunrise since it is a part of her morning “Queenly duties”.

Shoves her soaking panties in your mouth if you are being too loud and she doesn't want people to come by to wake her up early

Loves spitting in your ass/pussy before devouring you then spitting it back in your mouth so you can taste the reason why she’s in love with you

Adores fucking you outside on her bedroom balcony at 3 am because it’s just you, her and the stars

[kkurami]

( LOVE LETTER 2 U ! ) 💌 ² ˚ ༘ fluff

୨୧ ‧ megumi didn’t think he was anything special, not until he received a carefully written love letter just for him <3

like petals unfurling at dawn, my love for you blossoms as each waking day arises.

there’s something so enchanting about being in love, don’t you agree?

i like to believe it gives people a deeper understanding of themselves and their emotions. most people i have seen turn poetic and elegiac when talking about the one they love, which i never quite understood until i fell in love myself. after all, how much can one change just because of another person? the thought had always seemed silly to me.

but if someone were to ask me to describe my feelings for you, i guess i would be a victim of just that.

loving you is a rather unpredictable experience. at times, you make me feel like the happiest person on earth. i get so giddy and whimsical just being around your presence, because you’re the most ethereal person. however, there are times when i’m worried you won’t burn for me the way i do for you. do you feel a fire light up in your soul whenever you see me?

my dearest, your presence is the melody that dances through the corridors of my heart. in the realm of moonlit whispers and star-kissed dreams, your love blooms in the garden of my soul, a symphony of sounds that show we coexist under the same sky. in every heartbeat, i find the rhythm of our connection, a serenade that weaves its way throughout our world. together, we compose a timeless sonnet of boundless affection.

i need to confess… i’ve loved you from the start ♡

a faint blush overtook her features and sat mockingly on her cheeks, as if it waited to expose her inner feelings. she could barely feel the heat that radiated off it, everything in sync with the fast beating of her heart. the inconsistent rise and fall of her chest was synonymous the turmoil she felt deep inside.

her widened eyes held nothing less than affection for the boy who stood in front of her, as his eyes scanned the ivory paper in his hands.

fushiguro megumi, the one who had captured her heart with such grace.

it almost seemed silly, how much the boy had managed to enrapture ever fiber of her soul. after all— they hardly knew each other. she was astonished to find out that he had even known her name.

“this is a love letter?” megumi inquired, an inquisitive eyebrow raised almost as if to think it was silly. “for me?”

y/n’s head bobbed up and down in nervousness. she couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that she was speaking to megumi. “yes! i know we don’t know each other well and you probably don’t like me like that, but i just-!”

“why… me?” y/n put a hold on her rambling to scan her eyes over to megumi, who had his eyeline focused on the letter in his hands.

y/n quirked her head to the side. “why not you?” the question was silly to her. “you probably think people don’t notice you, but they do. i do. i've always admired you, megumi.”

like delicate petals falling from a sakura painted sky, y/n was a blessing that had graced the earth- at least, in megumi’s eyes. he never considered he was anything special, and opted to just live his life as it passed him by. however with just one letter, y/n seemed to reweave the tapestry of his existence. the page, filled with words of love and heartfelt serenades, seemed to hold megumi’s heart within its grasp- and y/n was at the forefront of it all.

“but,” y/n began to speak again when she noticed megumi deep in thought. “you don’t need to like me back. i just wanted to let you know how i feel!”

a sad smile graced her face, and megumi hated being the cause of it.

“let’s get lunch.” megumi roughy stated without thinking, before correcting himself. “i meant, um, let’s get lunch together.” he couldn’t stop the blush the threatened its way up to his face, nor the fast pace of his heart.

with hushed tones and soft smiles, y/n and megumi began their way towards the lunch room. the air was adorned with the subtle symphony of love as their hearts synchronized. amidst the delicate cadence, the world melted into the background, leaving only the warmth of companionship and the promise of countless conversations yet to unfold.

it was the beginning of a perfect love.

[tonkatsubowl]

vampire.

vampire!blade x fem!reader.

hella smut. blade eats u out while it's shark week eheh

"aah... aa—! w-wait, slow... slow down..!"

when you started your menstrual cycle, you were always given the respectable space and distance from blade whenever it was needed. the cramps? the abdominal pain? it was too much to bear, especially knowing that your significant other was literally a vampire as well.

he thrived off of eating and drinking the flesh of blood of his victims, and if he needed nutrients, he would go out and kill to make sure his mara infestation doesn't get too erratic. that was how he lived. sometimes you'd even suggest that he can take nutrients from you, like biting your neck from time to time. but because how protective blade gets with you, he would never oblige to your offers.

...but this time, it was different. he needed you. he needed nutrients — and you.

a moment ago, you were incited for whatever reason. you were already on your menstrual cycle, and one of those annoying days came where you would be in heat for absolutely no reason... and blade knew of this.

and now would be the time he'd replenish himself with nutrients and your needs, too. originally, you didn't like the idea. you felt odd being on your cycle and having your partner just devour you there. would it be... dirty? yeah, you felt dirty from it. you felt filthy.

but blade didn't care. he loved you and wanted to be there for you, as well as wanting to satisfy himself (and you).

right now, he has you over a desk, your legs spread wide open for him. he was careful not to cut you with your fangs, but he was drinking, slurping and licking away at your rosebud as you were a messy, moaning mess. you were already at the moment of climaxing, and you had already came on his face once.

he was cleaning you up good. taking in every nutrient and fiber that left your system while also just practically fucking you with his tongue. he was already pent up, even, and was ready to stain himself with your own blood.

a string of saliva was connected between his mouth and your lower region, giving you a chance to breathe as he lifted himself up. you were breathing heavily after climaxing once again due to his masterful tongue, your eyes dazed. your hair a bit of a mess, and your body was full of hickeys, licks and trails of blade's saliva. you watched as your lover began to grind himself against you; his pent up frustration rubbing against your wet folds, hitting your most sensitive area as he was dry humping you.

"uwaa..." your moans were too adorable. too sweet. intoxicating to listen to. your hot breaths hit his neck as he leaned down to hold you, thrusting his hips into you.

"you sound so fucking cute." blade murmured. "you liked it when i had you with my tongue, huh?"

you turn red, murmuring a quiet, "s-shut up..."

earning a chuckle from blade, he raised himself up, unbuttoning his pants, letting his amazing girth reveal itself.

originally when the both of you began having sex, you were unsure if you could take his size, thinking that blade wouldn't fit. but after nights of pounding you in different locations of the stellaron hunters headquarters, he made sure that his pretty little thing could bear the size of his massive length.

when you felt his tip enter inside, a wave of pleasure hit you, granting you a small moan that escaped your lips. you gasp, your sickly sweet voice entranced by your heated breaths, your pupils shaping themselves to little hearts as blade began to fuck you there and now.

he rolled his hips back, already violently and roughly ramming his massive member into you, sounds of your skins clapping and juices squelching could be heard within the room the both of you were in. you could see there were soft traces of your blood painting all over his length, but he didn't care, he was into it.

he was fucking you rough, and boy he was fucking you hard. he made sure that only his princess would get some goodnight sleep after filling you up with his seed, or breeding you a couple of times at least.

blade began to breathe a bit harder, giving a visual indication that he was nearly at his limit. he leans down, pressing his lips against your neck, rolling his tongue all over your skin as he continued to ram inside of you. you felt the head of his member hit into your cervix points, granting you even more pleasure and..

god, it felt amazing.

you close your eyes as you felt yourself ready to cum as well, feeling the overall building up sensation in your lower regions.

"y/n... i'm—"

"b—blade...!"

he began to speed up, and something hot and sticky began to flood inside of you immediately. his seed began to flood from your cute, puffy little folds as he finished pumping into you, filling you up with his seed.

he slowly rolled his hips into you, feeling your climaxing sensation as you twitched underneath him, your breath hitched as you felt everything in your body release, granting you that satisfaction and exhaustion that finally hit you.

you took a moment to realize what had happened. you were seeing stars, and your legs were so dead. your body was out cold, and you were too incredibly exhausted to move.

blade removed himself from you, leaning down to give you a kiss on your cranium. "you did so well," he whispered to you, "i'm so proud of you."

you couldn't respond as you were breathing too heavily, your eyes dazed and still shaped as hearts as you watched your lover began to take care of you. he picked you up, scooped you into his arms and carried you into the bedroom where he took care of you.

he retrieved a towel, cleaned you up, set aside some cold water and some warm tea if you needed it. it was right there on the nightstand next to your guys' bed if you ever wanted it.

as you both laid down, you cuddled blade, still bare naked as your head remained on his chest. your eyes were heavy, coming to a close as you allowed exhaustion to take you.

[seokminkisser]

I don’t know if you write nsfw content but as a new follower if you’re comfortable, I would loveeeee a seokmin drabble of reader riding his abs and he has a heavy praise kink.

If you DONT write nsfw:

A seokmin drabble of him kissing on literally reader’s whole body because reader said they felt insecure today

- Sunny, one seokmin stan to another ❤️

WITH YOU BY MY SIDE.

pairing: l. seokmin x afab!reader

genre: fluff, comfort, a bit angsty

word count: 1.6k

warnings: reader wears a dress but no gendered terms are used! reader has body dysmorphia and is very insecure about it

a/n: thank u so much for ur request sunny! i wrote this on the train lol it’s kind of messy and not proofread 😁 i do write nsfw and decided to make the first part of your req a separate fic!!

there was no way you were leaving the house tonight—absolutely no way.

you had changed about seven times already and the tears had already begun to pool in your eyes. you lay down on your bed rolling yourself into a little ball and taking deep breaths as you let out a scream muffled by your pillow.

no matter how many outfit combinations you had tried, nothing seemed to work. everything you owned felt ill-fitting on your body, they made your shoulders look big or showed off your stomach or your thighs chafed together in a bruising manner. and to top it all off you had a terrible stomach ache.

the screen of your phone lit up with an incoming notification. for some reason, your boyfriend hated ringing the doorbell and preferred to send you a text whenever he stood outside your door. if lee seokmin wasn’t your favorite person on this planet you would have pretended not to be home and wallowed in your self-pity like you tended to do whenever you had a bbd — a bad body day.

dragging yourself up from your bed you walked to the door and opened it to a grinning seokmin. and seeing your boyfriend smile at you with eyes that shone as if he was staring at the person who held all the answers to the world, the tears you had suppressed flooded into your eyes, and before you knew it you were sobbing.

immediately, worry took up every fiber in seokmin’s body and he felt his own tears pooling in his eyes, seeing you cry always brought him to tears. “my baby, what’s wrong,” he says as his arms wrap themselves around your frame. burying his face into your hair, his hands run up and down your back in a soothing manner as you let your tears stain his white shirt.

“i don’t wanna go out tonight.” you reply, your voice muffled as you pressed your face even closer to his chest. seokmin pulled himself off you and wiped your tears carefully, pressing a kiss onto your forehead. a frown settled on his face as he looked at you, before pressing more chaste kisses all over your face. 

“what happened baby, do you want to talk about it?” he responds, taking your hand and leading you to your bed in the corner of your small studio apartment. he sat down and pulled you on top of him, before softly holding the side of your face and pressing it into the side of his neck.

for a while you just sat there, breathing in his scent and calming yourself down. seokmin remained quiet but his hands roamed freely, one hand running up and down your back as the other softly caressed your thigh. 

at that moment all that existed was you and seokmin, your worries seemed miles away as the touch of your boyfriend grounded you. he didn’t pressure you to answer him, instead he just held you. after taking another deep breath you slowly pulled away from the spot your head has been resting in and looked up at him.

seokmin gave you a soft smile as he pressed another kiss on your cheek and wiped away the rest of your tears. your eyes drifted down to the massive tear stain on his shirt and you felt like crying all over again. you even managed to ruin your beautiful boyfriend.

“i ruined your shirt minnie, i’m so sorry.” you hiccup and hid your face in your hands, you couldn’t even look at him. “no no no, y/n my love it’s alright it’s just a shirt,” he responds, hands tenderly wrapping around your wrists as he pulls your hands away from their position on your face.

your lower lip quivers as you look at seokmin pulling your hands to his face and pressing soft kisses on your knuckles and your palms. “do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” he says as he tightly clasps your hands in his. “but you don’t have to.” 

you shake your head and then nod your head, pulling one hand away from his hold as you wipe your remaining tears. “no it’s okay i will tell you, but it’s so stupid and nonsensical.” you sigh and fidget with the promise ring on your finger.

“your feelings are never stupid or nonsensical, y/n.” he answered. you nod again and take a deep breath before answering: “i have nothing to wear for tonight.” you say and you felt like crying all over again. you felt utterly pathetic.

you had an angel as your boyfriend who has never shown you anything other than love and adoration, and yet you still let your insecurities run your life. “all the clothes i have tried on for the party tonight feel too tight and i feel disgusted with myself and so insecure, but i don’t even know why i feel so insecure. i don’t even understand why i am telling you this it’s so pathetic, you shouldn’t even have to bother with this, with me– ”

“you are absolutely not pathetic. never in a million years will you ever be pathetic for voicing your insecurities. i am so grateful that you feel safe enough to share your negative feelings with me. you will never ever be a bother to me, baby, truly never.” he responds and wraps his arms around your waist before turning you both on the bed, you on your back and him laying on his side his eyes never leaving yours.

“is this the dress you don’t feel comfortable in?” he asks as his hands run up and down your arm. you nod softly and he coos, kissing your temple as his hand comes to the zipper. “let’s get this of you then, hmm?”

his fingers slowly unzip your dress as he sits up on the bed, pulling the dress off of you. the room is silent other than your unsteady breathing and his soft murmurs of how beautiful you were, how lucky he was, how he felt like he must have been the most amazing person in his past life to be gifted with you.

you felt like crying again as seokmin folds your dress gently and sets it down on your dresser before coming back to your unmoving figure. he takes your hands into his and presses gentle kisses on your knuckles and your wrists and the tears pooled in your eyes again but you pressed your tongue to the roof of your mouth hoping that that motion would keep your tears at bay. 

“i love you, and i want to make it my life’s goal to show you that every day for the rest of our lives.” seokmin sighs and leaves a trail of soft kisses up your arm until he reaches your shoulder. he presses one kiss, then a second, then a third, kissing up your neck until he reaches your face. “you are so incredibly beautiful to me, y/n. and i will never hesitate to remind you of that.” 

and like the absolute crybaby you were, the tears started falling once again. you feel seokmin’s soft smile as he presses kisses on your right cheek, then your left, before he starts peppering gentle kisses all over your face.

“i–” he places a kiss on your forehead, “love–”, another kiss on your cheek, “every single–”, a kiss on the tip of your nose, “part of you.” he ends his onslaught of kisses with a press of his lips on yours before slowly making his way down your body, with never-ending kisses. 

“i love this part of you the most.” he says, pressing a soft kiss on the skin over your beating heart and you feel so full of love in this moment that you don’t even have the strength to wipe away the stray tears on your cheeks. “but i love every part of you, and i hope you can love yourself the way i love you.” 

you nod softly, running a hand through his hair as you blink away your tears. his eyes flutter shut as he feels your nails softly rake through his hair, breathily pressing kisses on your ribcages as his arms wrap themselves tighter around your middle.

it feels as if you and seokmin had become one being, connected through the love that you shared for each other and the adoration seokmin held for you and every part of your body. 

as time passes, his kisses move downwards until he ends up at your ankle pressing final kisses on each one. seokmin sits up on the balls of his feet and gives you a grin before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss on your lips.

your tears had subsided a while ago and the love you had felt seeped into every fiber of your body replacing the ugly feelings of your insecurities. you kiss him back hoping and praying that he could tell that you loved him more than words could explain. 

“i think we are going to be late for soonyoung’s get together minnie,” you say, a gentle smile on your lips as you push your boyfriend off of you and reach for your discarded dress on the bedside table.

“we don’t have to go if you don’t feel up to it y/n, i’m sure soonyoung will understand.” seokmin says, watching you with careful eyes as you start getting ready.

“with you by my side i think i can do anything.”

[glorified-red]

Sometimes u just need Damian to hold u while u cry y'know¿??

I feel this with every fiber of my being, you have no idea.

Actions Speak a Thousand Words

summary: Damian was always a man of little words, but in moments like these, he wished he could do better to comfort you. word count: 1,280~ warnings: self-doubt, self-hatred, Damian sucks at emotions but he's tRyiNg. Light hurt/comfort In honor of summer classes sucking ASS and Damian's cameo in the Pride comic, here's this, because I feel like everyones a little bit tired right now.

You felt a shoulder bump into yours, effectively washing away all your thoughts. You hummed in question, your gaze barely lifting from where it was stuck. 

“You’ve been staring at the wall for long enough that I’ve begun to think it’s personally wronged you.” 

You hummed into the fingers that nestled against your chin, it was subtle pressure but it was enough to keep you from floating away. The hum almost died in your throat, having gotten caught in the heat that taunted you. 

When you didn’t laugh or even budge, Damian grew worried. He attempted to—as you taught him—lighten the mood once more. 

“I could fight the wall for you. It seems as though you’re mortal enemies.” 

You responded that time, but the attempt at banter fell short when your voice was nothing but a whisper. “We’re in the middle of a staring contest, that’d defeat the point.” 

It was Damian’s turn to hum, he tried to sound like he was on board with the idea but the tail end of the noise lifted into confusion. He slipped onto the seat next to you. 

“Are you at least winning?” His gaze attempted to reach yours. Green eyes were at the edge of your vision if you just turned your head to look at him. He felt his eyebrows crease together when your eyes fell from the wall and onto the desk in front of you. 

“I don’t think so,” you whispered, much softer than the last time you spoke. If Damian wasn’t inches away, the wobbles in your voice would have faded into nothing, to never be heard. The lips behind shaky fingers struggled to suck in a breath. 

Damian sifted ever closer to you until he could feel your silhouette against his. He hesitated, if not for a moment. He wasn’t good at this, he was trying to be—god he was—but it didn’t stop the lump in his throat from forming every time he saw you in hardship. 

He started with the first step: “Are you okay?” 

That sentence alone felt like he had said it wrong. He could mimic the exact inflections as everyone, down to the last breath, and he would still feel so out of place saying it. He hated the sound of his own hesitance—why couldn’t he be good at this, just once? He’d watched for years as his oldest brother danced through emotions so effortlessly, even his father had grown in an aspect Damian would never admit he was jealous of. He’d seen it—experienced it himself—yet he could never navigate this as easily as the others. 

You told him he was doing wonderful every time. You noticed his efforts and smiled at his mistakes, told him he was human and that it was okay. But damn, did Damian want to be better for you. You taught him what it was like to feel alive. He wanted to return that feeling tenfold until your body buzzed with his love for you. 

He just didn’t know how. 

The silence between you too lingered for longer than he liked. Every fiber of his being itched to fix the problem, to make sure whatever was making you feel this lost was squandered. But he quieted that part of him; he told himself “later.” Right now, that wouldn’t help you. That wouldn’t help you process this or feel whatever you were feeling right now. He had to give you time. 

So he waited, even as the milliseconds stretched into seconds. He let your brain filter through his question and piece together a response. 

“I’m just tired, Dames.” 

He picked at his pants, feeling the seams roll under his fingers. 

“Do you want to take a nap?” died in his throat. 

“We could cuddle?” slipped from his tongue. 

“Maybe take a break?” seemed impossible to say. 

Those are solutions, they wouldn’t help right now. 

“From?” he settled on. The green from his eyes never left your face for a moment. He was sure you could feel it, the weight of his gaze. It slid from your temples down your nose and across your jaw, tracing each line over and over again so he could see when they shifted. He could analyze your face for hours, it’s how he knew the twitch between your eyebrows was a sign you were trying to form the words on your tongue. 

He knew you. And he knew you wanted to smack a smile on your face and move on, to laugh it off and apologize for everything and nothing all at once. He often did the same, just with a different way of shrugging off emotions. He hid behind a stone wall where you hid behind a mirror. 

It was funny really, how easily you could penetrate his walls and how easily he could see through a two-way. 

“Everything.” Your eyes finally met his and the feeling of his heart sinking wasn’t one he could ever get used to. The sight of tears forming constellations on your lashes was enough for his heart to lurch. He felt it deep in his ribcage and up into his throat. 

He struggled on his next word. The words had to claw their way out of his mouth, enemies of hesitance and anxiety blocking their path. He wanted to tell you everything would be okay; he wanted to say it would get better; he wanted to say something that would help—anything. 

But Damian was never a man of many words, and oh, did he hate himself for it. 

No matter how many times he was told his strengths, he could only ever see the weaknesses, the imperfections, and the traits of him that could be traced back to his grandfather. Even after so long of trying to be better, it was useless. 

He was trying to be someone he wasn’t. 

So he let the words die. He let the resonance turn into a steady breath and did what he was good at: he held you. His arms wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest. You all but fell into his embrace, your head finding its way under his chin out of habit. It felt natural here, with you in his arms. Damian felt like he could breathe easier as if all his insecurities washed away. 

He hoped you felt the same. 

“I'm so tired,” you sobbed. Fingers clung to his shirt and pulled on the fabric but he stayed steady. He was, and always would be, your rock: the steady force in your life while all else seemed to swirl into chaos. He would always be there for you, despite everything. He was an immovable force and he slowly took pride in that fact. 

His lips pressed into the top of your head, the words hidden behind those lips ached to break through. Instead, he wrote the words into your body and kissed them into your skin in hopes the message was received all the same. 

The pads of his fingers squeezed consonants into your shoulders and slid vowels down your back and up again. His thighs carried the weight of yours and promised strength in return. His chest breathed in your sorrows and pressed affirmations into your heart. 

“I’m here.” 

It was short—that much Damian knew. But it was all he had to say. Every single word trapped in his chest was released in two simple syllables. There was nothing else. It was so simple, yet he overlooked it everytime. 

He could feel your body leaning into his, the way your hands had to convince themselves he was there. He knew you. And he knew this was enough. 

He would always be enough. 

As he was.

Taglist ♡

@anothertimdrakestan

@cherry-dropp

@missredrobin

[vendoramachine]

open robe pt. 1

velvet x fem pop star reader

i think we were absolutely robbed from seeing vel in a robe, so eat up 💜

notes : fluff, mild/light cussing

the mornings after shows are always the worst. your throat is always sore from singing all night, your muscles are tired from the intense choreographies, and overall, you just feel like crap. in the moment, everything is great. you hit that high note, you landed that backflip, and your fans love you. post-concert exhaustion is a musician’s equivalent to a hangover.

i groaned as i tossed around in my bed, staring up at my ceiling like i could see the heavens. last night was insane. i was the opening act for velvet and veneer, my two favorite people on the face of this planet. weakly, i picked up my phone from my nightstand. the screen lit up, it’s brightness burning my retina.

veneer and i were best friends during our childhood, so when the two announced that their plans to start their careers in music, i was a tad doubtful. those two couldn’t hold a note if a gun was being held to their foreheads. i admit, their success was a little suspicious, but i just figured that their voices had matured and gotten better over time. in fact, they inspired me to become an artist as well, and they helped promote me and my music.

opening up my messages app, i texted the person who was on my mind 24/7; velvet.

“hey vel 🤗 we did so good last night!!!! i had so much fun, thanks for letting me open up for u and veneer 💟” my thumb clicked the send button. it was 8 a.m. and i didn’t expect velvet nor veneer to be awake, especially not after that hell of a night. i sat up in my bed, attempting to stretch the exhaustion from my muscles and rub the tiredness from my eyelids.

every fiber of my being told me to take it easy today, but where’s the fun in that if i’m not with my girlfriend? resting in bed all day without her just makes me feel like a lonely person. i forced myself out of bed to brush my teeth, take a shower, and eat breakfast.

as i finished chewing the last bite of my waffles with damp hair and a soft, velvety robe wrapped around me, it was now 11 a.m. i checked my phone, and still no response.

“wow, that girl must be knocked out.” i chuckled to myself, opening veneer’s contact and calling him. it took a few rings for him to pick up, but something about his hoarse voice and dim room told me that i had accidentally woken him up.

“what do you want?” he huffed, sass in his strained voice.

“good morning to you too, veneer.” i scoffed, making him roll his eyes and smirk playfully.

“okay, okay, sorry. good morning, y/n, what could you possibly need that was worth waking me up?”

“rude, but i was wondering if vel-“

“can’t you just call her instead?” veneer cut me off. jeez, where are this guy’s manners?

“i don’t want to wake her up. also, if i did wake her up, she’d be mad at me all day; don’t you know anything about your sister?”

“oh, whatever. come over, otherwise velvet and i will literally sleep all day. we need your motivation to get up.” say less. i hung up before he could speak another word.

time skip cause i’m lazy lmfao 💁‍♀️

i rang the doorbell to their giant house, and veneer talked to me through the doorbell.

“the door’s open, girl.” i shrugged and walked right in. wandering through the halls, i saw my girlfriend’s brother sitting at the kitchen table with his robe.

“hey, i’m on the phone with ritz.” veneer perked up, blushing angrily once he noticed that i was joking. hilarious. i sat down on the chair beside him, noticing the absence of my girlfriend’s presence.

“i don’t understand why you don’t just ask him out already.” i stole a grape from his breakfast plate.

“easy for you to say, my sister made the first move on you. i’m just waiting for him to do the same. if he wants to, he will.”

“please, that’s only because velvet is way too prideful to let someone make the first move on her. she would literally rather die. in your case, however, both you and ritz are shy, embarrassing messes. you just lack your sister’s confidence, ven.” i teased, veneer hit my arm with the back of his hand. his pathetic attempts to hide his smile just made the situation funnier.

“you’re so annoying. i don’t get how vel tolerates you.” he forcefully refused to let the muscles on his cheeks upturn into a smile.

“you couldn’t even bother to change before coming over here?” veneer attempted to switch the subject, no longer wanting to talk about his pretty-much boyfriend.

“hey, you can’t come at my robe when you’re wearing one too.” the sound of a door opening behind us made my face light up.

“hanging out without me? how rude.” velvet commented. my head whipped around. her hair was messy, and her robe was wide open, the strings hanging loosely by her sides. she wore nothing underneath her robe besides her shorts and a bra. oh. my. god.

[asmobeuses]

Asmo give me any atsushi hcs fluff, angst destory my atsushi lover self DO IT!!!!!

Me ^

Atsushi HCS!

Warnings: Insecurity, mentions of bickering and arguments, hurt/comfort (u said angsty. Ask and u shall receive.)

I apologize in advance if these r ooc, I don't know much about his character UEUEUEUEUE💔

Tjis fucking loserboy!! He's completely whipped for u no doubt about it

He's constantly doting on you! Making sure you're okay, tending to any of your needs,

,,,making sure you're okaaaayyyy

(Ran out of things he does it's 3am spare me)

Treats you as if you're married lol

"Astushi we don't even live together"

Him cuz u said that

"How could you" :(

Apologize rn.

> Angst below the cut

Angsty (this is my shit right here)

He was very insecure about your relationship when it first began

He would always make sure to go above and beyond because he thought you'd leave him if he "wasn't enough" :((

Hug kiss and tell him he's important to you right NEOW!!!

No but fr his love language besides physical contact r words of affirmation

He constantly needs reassurance.

He may not need as much further on into your relationship, but don't think that means u stop giving it to him 🤨 (pause.)

Obviously like any couple, yall will have occasional disagreements that MIGHT turn into arguments if you're not careful

He loves you but damn does he get heated and passionate when it comes to his views on smth

At the end of each one he feel rlly bad tho, even if he wasn't the one who started it

Literally him after yall argue

Yall always end up making out up after every argument yall have.

You both end up forgetting about it after a night of movies n snacks n cuddles

The next day the Ada r like "you guys are on talking terms again?"

U and atushi in unison: "we weren't?"

Bonus angst

Thinking about atushi's reaction to you wanting a break and what caused it.

You love your boyfriend with every fiber of your being

But that doesn't mean you have the space on your shoulders to carry both his and your baggage.

Obviously you're there for eachother during your lowest, dont get me wrong!

There will be moments where his past is weighing in on him and he wants nothing but your reassurance!!

Butttttt his judgement gets clouded sometimes and he loses his emotional intelligence

Causing him not to notice when you're down in the dumps.

And this varies for whoever reading obv but in this case let's say you're the type of person to bottle up your emotions until one little thing tips the cup over

You end up blowing up at him over something small, really only because of how overwhelming your emotions got.

Now it's your turn to be like

(Hopefully) You end up feeling very guilty about your outburst

"Look, atsushi, I really think we need some time apart."

Whether you say that bevause you feel horrible about blowing up at him or you just need time alone to process your emotions is up to you 🫡

Prepare to be bombarded with questions.

"Are you breaking up with me?" no "Are you getting tired of me?" no "Is it because of something I did?" no

The list goes on

For the love of all things holy please make him shut up tell him you love him and just need time to yourself!!

He will understand and respect your decision, but prepare for him to look like a kicked puppy

Er... kitten?

Some type of cute creature that makes your heart clench when it looks sad.

Sorry idk where I'm going w this anymore

Yall always have a happy ending tho!! No matter what, there's no force that can keep you away from eachother permanently.

Would you like some coffee fluff with your sugar ansgt?

[anashins]

hello author! :> can i request a jaehyun scenario based on niki’s backburner? it can be very angsty if you want! it’s also up to u if happy ending or not hehe

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader

Genre: angst, slight fluff

Warnings: mc is in an unhealthy relationship

Word Count: 1k

Summary: You know you have to break up with your boyfriend who made it clear that you're not his priority. But if one good day makes up for seven bad ones, you consider that it might be all worth it in the end.

A/N: This hit wayyyy close to home, wow 🥲 Hope you like it 💖 

“I’m sorry I haven’t called earlier.”

You were currently on your way home from the airport, not having expected Jaehyun to call. In fact, he hadn’t called all week while you had been abroad for a business trip despite you always updating him about your whereabouts and feeding him with pictures of places he had never been to before. It was top tier girlfriend behavior from your stance. You had always been a perfect partner to him.

But, as of now, you didn’t even know what you two were for each other anymore.

“You ignored me for an entire week, Jaehyun,” you said into the phone while carrying your bag and suitcase across the street. “The past two days, I even stopped texting you altogether and you didn’t even care. You didn’t ask how I’ve been, what I was doing… whether I was even still alive!”

You heard him snort into the phone, and that fueled your underlying anger even more that had somehow developed from your pent up frustration. “Come on, y/n. You were with many other people. What should have happened to you?”

It was not the first time that you were leading this conversation and you were tired of going around in circles, which was why you didn’t even decide to argue against his ridiculous excuse. You asked yourself if he would have even noticed had you not returned, had something truly happened to you. And the possible answer drove you to the brink of tears. 

Your silence was an invitation for him to continue with a voice that almost convinced you of his feigned regret, “It was a very busy week for me that also took a toll on my mental health, so I was out with friends a lot. Of course I looked at your photos and appreciated them. How could I not, knowing I have such a beautiful girlfriend? But I was under so much stress and often couldn’t bring up enough strength for daily tasks. I can only apologize again that I made you feel neglected.”

You sighed deeply that he was most likely to hear. Somehow, anger gave way to love again - like always. When you had read his name on your display earlier, your heart had almost jumped out of your chest, that was how happy you had felt to finally get a sign of life from him before rationality settled. 

After all, you still loved him with every fiber of your body. Even though your brain had been telling you to leave, your heart just couldn’t align.

“It’s always like this, Jaehyun,” you brought yourself to say eventually. “Whenever you feel overwhelmed and want to detach from the world, you’re detaching from me too. But it’s somehow always only me who ends up getting shut out by you while you remain in all your other friendships and relationships. And I’m tired of feeling this way, I’m tired of you never letting me in, of being put aside, of getting hurt by your behavior. Please don’t call me anymore. Never again.”

You didn’t know whether it was the newly gained courage of a successful business trip, newly found confidence after doing sightseeing all by yourself or just your brain finally dominating over your heart that had made you say that, but it hurt like hell and you regretted it instantly.

How many times had you found yourself in this position? How many times had you still agreed on working through and ended up at this point still? 

“Well, that’s kind of unfortunate,” Jaehyun spoke. “Because I’m already here.”

The next moment, you found yourself in front of your entrance door and your boyfriend waiting right next to it. Suppressing the urge to drop all your luggage and jump into his arms right away, you approached him reluctantly, your facial expression bland, his beaming with joy on the other hand.

When Jaehyun wrapped his arms around you and welcomed you back, your hands loosely hung to your sides. Had he just forgotten the words you had said a moment ago? And had you forgotten as well when your own arms acted on their own and slowly wandered up his back, your head resting on his shoulder, hugging him tightly?

“I truly mean it.” He pressed a tender kiss on your parting. “I’m so sorry.”

A tear escaped from the corner of your eye, but you swallowed the rest down, not wanting to show weakness in front of him. “I missed you so much.”

No “I missed you too”, no “I love you”, no kiss on the lips as expected, but the happiness you felt being so closely embraced by him again after a week of no contact overshadowed all sane thoughts that swam in the back of your mind. 

“Let’s go upstairs and order some food,” Jaehyun suggested. “I have to get up early for work tomorrow, which was why I couldn’t join my friends for a drink. So I was very lucky to have you back today.”

This was wrong. So, so wrong. But his presence was like a drug, and the thought to go entirely without him from now on hurt so bad, it nearly suffocated you. Perhaps, this was your fate. To quietly suffer the majority of the time just to be happy for a day or two. Didn’t everyone have to pay a price for their happiness? In the end, no one could be happy all the time in a relationship, couldn't they?

Jaehyun walked in front of you into the building while you carried your entire luggage yourself, asking yourself again whether this was all worth it, to be the back burner. Or whether to end it once and for all, feel the pain for only a short time, and then start anew.

But when you found yourself lying in his arms and listening to his regular breathing later that night, you felt so happy again that your heart almost burst, quieting your brain once again.

In the end, it was worth it, being in the back of his mind.

[not-alien-girl-v]

more frat kyle or frankenkyle idec i love both maybe just some fluff or whatever u feel like !!! i love ur fics 😫😫💞

warning: reader is drunk like really drunk, nausea but no throwing up, general party stuff yeah

note: writing this while watching asylum for the first time i’m gonna be real i haven’t seen it before. YES i know i changed tenses halfway through this but it’s 2am i’m not changing it

it had been hours since she first put on that skimpy black party dress, applied shades of pressed powder onto her clean skin, curled her lashes, tied her hair, did a coquettish twirl before her mirror for one last final look, then walked to the party a few blocks from her home.

the air was swirling in a most intoxicating fashion, music so loud she swore she saw the sound waves rippling down the packed halls and she felt at home, surrounded by drunk college kids, she fit right in, seeing as she was getting an undergraduate degree in some random major she had no idea how she was going to make a career out of, and the fact that she, too, had intentions to become drunk as fuck.

she doesn’t get drunk often, that’s one thing for sure. when kyle invites her to these types of parties, he goes all boyfriend mode and insists she stay sober so she can keep herself safe and he won’t have to spend all night looking after her while he has a whole frat house of men he has to do so with already.

but tonight, kyle had a pounding headache, likely due from the hours upon hours on top of hours with a side of hours à la mode he spent studying for his final exams of the semester, along with the actual stress of taking said exams. it was all over as of today, and some are choosing to celebrate via a party, but kyle would much rather get a solid nights rest.

he makes it maybe 3 hours into a good nap before awaking for no reason whatsoever, headache dissolved, but mouth dryer than the sahara desert itself, so he leaves the comfort of his warm bed to fetch himself a glass of water.

one careful sip, feeling the water soothe his dry throat, and his phone begins to ring. with every bone, every fiber in his body, he doesn’t want to answer it, but something inside him tells him he better, and to his surprise, it’s her.

he’d be lying if he said a lovely feeling didn’t sprout in his stomach when he saw her name lighting up her phone, and he almost lets it ring too long, dumb smile staring at her name, but he does pick up in the end.

“hey baby you alright?” he always starts their phone calls off the same way, even if he’s the one who calls first. there’s something so sacred to him about enduring her safety before anything else in conversation with her. he tries to do everything in his power to show how much he cares.

“kyle?” one word from you is all it takes for him to be grabbing his keys and jacket off the dining room table. something about the slur in the word she spoke, the way it came across as a question, kyle figured she needed him right now. sometimes he wonders if he just really likes being needed.

“where are you right now, sweetheart?” the pet name and the familiar drawl informed her that her suspicions were correct, she was, in fact, speaking with the boy she loved, the boy who didn’t come to this party.

“at a party,” she hiccuped and stretched her arms out wide, hearing her joints crack and pop.

“awesome. can you tell me where?”

“maybe…” she laughed too hard at her own joke and his deafening silence made her uncomfortable so she gave in, mumbling something about a blue house and austin and will, two guys kyle knew who lived in a fraternity with blue painted walls.

when kyle arrived at the house, the party was mostly over, a few stragglers straggling about on the front yard straggedly, and the house wasn’t packed wall to wall like he assumed it once had been that same night.

it wasn’t hard finding her, she was lightly singing to herself while she kicked her legs back and forth childishly, sat atop the kitchen counter. her attention was diverted to the tired boy once he came in to her line of sight, however.

“hey handsome. can i buy you a drink?” he’s worried for a second she truly doesn’t recognize him, but when her arms open sluggishly to engage him in a drunken embrace, he pushed the thoughts aside.

“cute. come on, let’s get home, sweetie.” he takes advantage of her already open arms, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her, feeling her slump over the curve of his shoulder and her chin resting on his back slightly.

she’s yapping amongst herself the whole walk to the car, her small happy voice muffled by the cloth of his t-shirt. he approaches his car, setting her down on the ground to fumble around in his pockets for his car keys. meanwhile, she walks her body straight into his, crashing her face into his chest in a sloppy manner, not even bothering to hug him or anything, just pressing herself into him.

“did you know that i love you?” the inky black sky is lit up by only a few stars, a sign that the two were surrounded by city, and with it, dense light pollution that prevented them from ever seeing more than a few twinkling spots here and there once the sun sets.

the keys aren’t in his pants pockets, and frustrated, he tries his jacket pockets now. “yeah, i knew.” finally, feeling cold metal touch his searching fingers, he whips the keys out of the inner pocket of his coat, inserting it into the car door to unlock it and escape the cold night that was upon them tonight.

he opens the door for her, but when he turns to her to coax her into getting in, he is met with a teary eyed look on her intoxicated face.

“hey, what’s with the tears, huh?” he finds a gentle pace rubbing up and down her arms, half to comfort, half to warm up the goosebumps forming from the frosty air nipping at her more and more with every coming second.

“you didn’t say you love me back,” she uses the back of her hand to smudge away the hot, salty tears rolling down her cheeks.

from keeping her at arms length, he closes in the distance and pulls her into his chest, one hand on the back of her head to rub gently with his thumb. “i thought it was implied, my darling.”

his touch feels like a fuzzy blanket on a cold winter night, like petals of a flower blooming and blossoming to her hearts content in her mind, she leans into it to show her appreciation for his presence and ability to care about such trivial matters.

wordlessly, she breaks from him, letting herself into the car and managing to strap herself in successfully, and kyle almost feels proud, as if she normally doesn’t possess this ability.

she waits until kyle has started the car from his seat next to her to speak up again. “can you hold my hand?” she looks at him with tired eyes and he’s fairly certain he’d chop off his entire hand and eat it for dinner if she deemed it necessary.

he inwardly melts, nodding and grabbing her hand from the top of her thigh, giving three gentle squeezes in hopes to make up for his previous wrong.

“alright baby, let’s get you in bed now.” he’s suddenly appeared right next to her, outside the car with the door opened next to her, she must have fallen asleep; because if she remembers correctly, he had just started the car up, now he’s out, and they’ve reached a destination. she squints at the building before her through the window.

“this isn’t my house,” she states plainly as if perhaps he wasn’t aware of this and had made some fatal error.

“yeah, it’s my house. well, not just my house but i do live here.”

“why not my house?” he tosses her arms around his neck before lifting her into his firm hold. he wouldn’t dream of dropping her.

“i figured,” the front door is already unlocked, likely the doing of a forgetful roommate of kyle’s, but it saves him some trouble as he continues down to his bedroom, “since you know, you’re in love with me and stuff,” he kicks his bedroom door open, “that you’d be okay with having a sleepover.”

“i love sleepovers! can i paint your nails?” gently, she’s set down on his bed with care and he’s quick to potter about in his drawers with a chuckle.

“if you really want to, in the morning, sure.” he chucks a clean t shirt and some shorts she left in his room last night she was over at her figure on the bed. “put these on,” he doesn’t mean to sound so demanding, but he figures she doesn’t notice/care.

“can we call cute boys? oh em gee, we can ask them to rate us! how fun would that be?” she’s getting herself all riled up and giddy as he walks back to the bed, shooting her a conflicted look.

he imagines them huddled up around a telephone with a phone book in hand, giggling and dialing the numbers of boys from other frats. a humorous sight to fathom, but not a likely one. “maybe another day, baby?”

“whatever,” she puts on a faux valley girl accent once she finishes in putting on the clothes and now she’s laying down under the green blanket, onto the black sheets next to the boy. once she’s done a comical amount of tossing, turning, adjusting of her clothes, brushing hair out of her face, cracking her back and knuckles, she needily cuddles into her boyfriend, hugging his head into her chest like he usually does to her and holding him there firmly.

he’s pressed up against her boobs, so he’s not complaining, but he does have to turn his head to the side so he isn’t being suffocated by her love.

“you’re pretty cute. you’re a cute boy. give me a rating, cute boy,” she commands and misses the aggressive rolling of eyes he presents as she can’t look at his face.

“rating women is bad for their self esteem. as a young man, i should know better than to reduce a girl to cheap modern beauty standards. you said that, you know?” he tells her with admiration dripping from his words, each consonant soaked in love and happiness.

she laughs too loud for two people huddled up in a room alone. “ok, sure, you big ol’ feminist. you are cute though. you’re so cute. like really, really cute. why did they make you so cute?”

he sighs, not wanting to engage in her antics and hoping if he calms her words, she’ll be closer to falling asleep. his arms circle around to her back, “dunno, sweetie.”

she hums happily. “you called me sweetie.”

“mhm.”

“i like when you do that. hey, never stop doing that, okay? even when i’m old and ugly and crabby and not sweet anymore. please?” her drunken words hold much more weight to them than she imagines, and a pretty feeling sprouts in kyle’s stomach. just the thought alone that even drunk, she sees kyle and her together so far into the future is enough to stir up his insides with a metal whisk.

“promise, sweetie.”

she’s quiet for a good long while, and he cuddles into her more, enjoying the attention and intimacy of behind held like this. he loves her more than she’ll ever understand.

“which boob is your favorite, left or right?” she speaks her mind and it takes every mature bone in his body not to burst out laughing.

“i can’t choose, i love them both equally as much as i love you.”

“ok but if you had to choose just one?”

“i’d have to say probably left.”

“of course you would, you pig man. the left one is bigger. you’re gross.” he can’t help but giggle at her, he wonders if she knows how funny she can be sometimes.

“if i’m so gross, then why are we cuddling in my bedroom, huh?”

“beats me. i didn’t even get a say about coming here. in some books, this counts as a kidnapping.”

“are you gonna call the cops on me, baby?”

“nope. i have stock hole syndrome or something. i’m totally obsessed with you now.”

“good. i like how obsessed you are with me. makes me feel like less of a creep for being so obsessed with you,” he speaks more truth that she seems equipped to handle right now, but she takes it well.

“i bet i’m more obsessed. sometimes when you’re in class and i miss you, i put your hoodie on a pillow and cuddle it n stuff and i pretend it’s you.”

“wow, what a freak you are.”

“hey! at least pillow kyle is nice to me! he can’t even talk. i think i like that better. you should shut your big fat mouth once in a while.”

“if i couldn’t talk, how could i call you sweetie? does pillow kyle call you sweetie like i do?”

she sighs. “you got me there…”

“i have a folder in my phone full of pictures i took of you when you didn’t know i was. i look at them all the time just cuz you look so pretty in them.”

“aww, you think i’m pretty when i’m not looking?”

“i think you’re pretty all of the time.”

“you’re such a sap. you’re pretty too though, don’t worry.”

“i wasn’t worried. i already knew, all the boys round these parts tell me all the time,” he jokes.

“oh yeah? you’ve been getting busy in this house?” she sounds much more sober than she first was when she called him, not completely, however.

“you know it. i’m the hottest piece of ass in this house. just cuz we’re all into chicks doesn’t mean we don’t take advantage of that every now and then.”

“really?” she sounds too close to convinced, so he tears away from her cradle and gives her a silly look.

“no.”

she reaches up to brush some blond hair from his dark eyes and lets her hand linger while she traces absentmindedly across his facial features.

“you haven’t kissed me all night.”

“didn’t know if you wanted to be kissed, sweetie. i wait until you’re sober for consent, i’m cool like that.”

“kiss me.” she was the one who instructed him to do so, yet she’s the one who pulls his face into hers, pausing a moment before making contact, letting their lips just gently brush, then pressing them together sweetly.

[riekomi]

dreams

▪︎° fluff, this is kinda long

xiao x gn reader (u can see it as romantic or platonic)

tw: spacing /j

I died a bit inside writing this /hj

summary: basically u sleep with xiao my friend ask me if it was a loop honestly idk the plot to my own writing

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀︶⏝︶ ୨♡୧ ︶⏝︶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Xiao’s gentle snoring fills your dreamscape with a soothing harmony.

It surrounds you like a warm blanket of love and comfort, as you drift back into a deep sleep…

…And Xiao will always be there to protect you.

Xiao will be there...

Always…

Xiao's dreamscape feels like a sanctuary.

It feels like the warm embrace of home and family...

A sense of calm, love, and comfort.

Of everything good.

Everything you want.

...He is sleeping soundly beside you.

...

...

...You cannot feel it, but he holds you close to his heart.

A faint warmth seems to emanate from his body, and slowly you feel a sense of peace come over you...

-♡-

You feel him yawn and snore against the top of your head. His chest seems to rise and fall rhythmically as he sleeps, the soft sound of his breathing like a soothing calm which falls over you like a blanket of warmth.

And like a soft and soothing lullaby, you too drift back into a deep and restful sleep…

-♡-

Xiao: “I… never hated you…”

He pulls you even closer to him, as if to protect you with every fiber of his being.

“I never hated you at all…”

He strokes a hand through your hair as he looks deeply into your eyes…

…

…

“Never…”

He says the word as if it was his final declaration…

…

He closes his eyes as he drifts off to sleep…

And he starts to snore…

-♡-

Xiao: ”I never hated you….”

His voice as he speaks is soothing, reassuring, and comforting.

His words warm you like a hug.

A hug that tells you, tells you that everything will be okay…

It is then that you realize the truth.

The truth that he never hated you.

He was just afraid.

Afraid to trust and…

Afraid of failure.

…

You feel like everything is going to be okay...

Xiao: “We have slept together here for three days without moving… You’re beginning to realize just how tired you are…”

He pulls you closer to him, resting his head on top of yours…

He smiles sweetly at you before closing his eyes…

“…Let's sleep some more…”

You wake up in Xiao’s arms, as if from a long, deep, and restful sleep.

You feel safe.

You feel warm.

You feel…

You feel loved…

Your dreams are filled with an unbridled joy…

You dream of endless possibilities…

Of what you can accomplish…

But you always know…

…There is one constant in your life…

…

Xiao.

forever...

You have never felt this safe before in your entire life.

You feel the most intense love that you have ever felt.

There is no one else here besides the two of you.

Just the two of you, together, and forever…

Together forever…

“I would be happy to stay by your side forever…”

His voice is soft and comforting as it fills your dreams…

His presence is warm and cozy as he holds you tight…

He is your safe place…

He is your home…

And you are his.

…Together forever.

let's stay together for ever

Xiao is still there next to you.

In your dream, he seems very close to you…”

He wraps an arm around you, protecting you, keeping you safe in his loving embrace. His body radiates heat, and warmth, a feeling which you feel from his very being. From his very soul.

“I’m here…”

With a slight smile on your face, you fall once more…

…

…

…And into deep sleep.

You dream…

And in your dream, you…

Feel safe and loved.

happy

Xiao is there next to you, sleeping as well, as you drift into a deep sleep…

Just before you fade into oblivion, you feel a warm and loving presence embrace you…

…

You dream…

You feel like you are finally home…

You are at peace…

…

You are…

Happy.

”…I love you .”

And with that he silently drifted straight into a deep and peaceful sleep.

...Leaving you feeling the warmth coming from Xiao, his love for you is like no other…

...It feels like home…

"I love you too...xiao"

Xiao: “You know… I think that you are someone who will… always… be… in my life…”

He nuzzles your head…

“...I think that you are someone… I love…”

He sighs softly as he drifts in and out of sleep.

“...I’m happy with the way things are…”

A quiet smile, a faint hint of a nod.

Xiao’s presence feels…

Like home…

Your dreams are filled with peace…

Your dreams are filled with joy.

You dream without restraint or worry.

Your dreams are filled with warmth and comfort…

Your dreams are…

Beautiful.

Xiao is there in the dream with you…

He is watching over you and guarding you…

A guardian of dreams…

A guardian of the sleeping…

The guardian who was always beside you…

In the light…

And in the darkness too…

Xiao says nothing, he does not need to say a thing…

You can feel it in your very soul.

“...I am here.”

You can feel his arms relax around you…

He slowly falls back into his sweet, deep sleep…

...Leaving you in peace.

:)

notes: first ever fanfic on this shi, if u liked it thank u ♡♡ I'll take criticism like that chad don't worry also if u like aesthetics and cute stuff pls talk to me ٩۹(๑•̀ω•́ ๑)۶

[bluiex]

good luck with the sleeping schedule bluie!!! here is a ficlet for when u wake up lol (sorry it got long) --------------

"You have to help me," the young man whispered, his words hissed out with weighty intention.

Mumbo recognized the emphasis; he was trying to cast a spell. It did nothing to quell the anxious knot forming in his stomach, nor did it even work, but it told him a few things.

One, this person had magic. Two, his magic wasn't working. Three, he wasn't above using magic to get what he wanted. What an incredibly safe person to be around!

Not.

But there were other things about him too: his hair was shaggy and uneven, his face thin and gaunt along with the rest of his body, and there was a tremble about him, that every fiber of his being was itching to run the second he had the chance.

"Why should I?" Mumbo whispered back, eyeing the bedroom door every few seconds. This was insanity, he was a guest in the house of an elf, to be harboring a stranger in his bedroom that moments ago was bolting down the hallway in the middle of the night had to be the height of inappropriate behavior.

"Scar is lying to you," the man said, deathly serious. "He's going to keep you prisoner."

Mumbo shook his head in disbelief. "Do you really expect me to believe that? Scar has been nothing but kind to me, and I don't even know who you are! This is outrageous, I'm telling him—"

He tried to step around the stranger, who darted back in front of him. "Just let me explain! Please, we can't have much time left, and what do you have lose listening to the ravings of a crazy person?" When Mumbo didn't budge, the man carried on, "I'll tell you my side, and if you still think I'm crazy I'll turn myself over to Scar personally."

The stranger made a fair point. What did Mumbo have to lose?

With a small nod, the stranger stepped back with a relieved sigh. "God, thank you. Thank you."

"Make it quick," Mumbo muttered, glancing at the door again.

"Right. Hello, my name is Grian," he said quickly, "and I was like you once. You traveled alongside the mountain range when a snowstorm was about to hit, right?"

When Mumbo nodded again, Grian's jaw tightened. "A snowstorm is always 'about to hit' around here. When I was traveling, it was late June and clouds still rolled overhead. But you can't hear the storm at all, can you?"

They listened out, and surely enough, the manor was silent, as though they were the only two people breathing in the home. Mumbo's stomach churned again.

"He brought me home with him," Grian continued, "by offering his hand. He took my coat, and gave me dinner, and we spent all night by the fireplace, talking about so many things. If I'd had the time, I probably would've spent a few days more with him."

There was a guilty look in Grian's eyes. "It's part of his game. He makes himself out to be such a worldly person, you could talk to him forever. You don't want to stop, because he makes you feel heard, and laugh, and it's as though the outside world ceases to exist. There's a magic in his words, and in this place that's lethal to humans."

Mumbo hesitated. "…This isn't the real world, is it?"

Grian pinched his lips together. "He's not an elf, either."

There's a gentle knock on the bedroom door, and Grian yelped, bolting behind Mumbo. "He's fae," Grian whispered hastily. "He's a fae and he wants a mate, someone to play with. He goes after human travelers, makes them into fae too, and keeps them here like trophies of war."

"How long have you been here?" Mumbo whispered, the knocking growing slightly louder.

"Five years. Five. Years." With a grit of his teeth, "I've seen mates come here to die, I've seen them disobey one too many times and suffer the consequences. I used to listen, because I thought eventually he would let me go, but he just thinks I'm falling in love with him and holds on even tighter. Tonight was my one chance, and I've ruined it, god…" There was a muttered curse under his breath, and Grian grabbed tight onto Mumbo's arm when the knocking echoed again.

"Lock the door," Grian hissed. "Freeze it or something, spell it shut."

"Why don't you do it?" Mumbo hissed back.

Grian glared up at him, and Mumbo could see magic sparking in his eyes that kept dying down. "I'm his pet, remember? He's ordered me to not use magic. I can't."

There wasn't a difference to be made in who cast the spell, however, because they were both too late. The was a whispering on the other side of the door, and the deadbolt unlocked.

"Well, hello there," Scar said with a smile, slowly opening the door. "I didn't expect you two to meet just yet, but I suppose it was only a matter of time."

"Although," Scar's smile wavered, "I don't think barging into Mumbo's bedroom is all that nice of you. Why don't you go off to bed now, Grian? Wait for me."

If Grian's words earlier had been heavy with magical intention, Scar's were woven with it, as though there were no difference in those that were spelled and those that weren't. Grian averted his eyes, though from fear or rage was hard to tell.

He walked quietly out of the room, and Scar turned his attention back to Mumbo.

"I hope he didn't startle you," Scar said, stepping forward and shutting the bedroom door behind himself.

Mumbo took a step back, his expression stiff and cold. "I don't want to be rude," he said carefully, "but I don't think you've been an honest host. Why don't I take a quiet exit, and we forget this ever happened?"

Scar blinked, his smile turning naive. "Forget what happened?"

Mumbo's relief only lasted a moment. "Nothing, nothing at all! I'll just pack my things—"

"Oh, right, you trying to run away from me, that," Scar laughed. "That was a good try, I have to admit, but it's going to take more than some paltry human magic to make me forget you. As a matter of fact, I don't know that you need that magic down here anyways."

Scar wasn't spelling him yet. He was giving Mumbo a choice. Obedience, or forced submission. Either way, it was implied he was staying.

"See, it makes sense to agree," Mumbo said, slowly nodding along. He bit his tongue, praying that what he was about to do wasn't the stupidest thing ever.

"But I don't want to be trapped in a cage," Mumbo said, bracing himself as the bedroom door behind Scar crumbled to dust, and he bolted around him, making a mad dash around random corners of the manor.

He didn't know where was front from back, what was an exit or what was a dead end, but if he kept moving, maybe Scar would give up the chase eventually.

Unfortunately, Scar didn't need to chase after Mumbo himself. He was disappointed as he walked towards Grian's bedroom, a wilted look to him. There was so much promise in this new pet, but then again, he thought Grian was perfect once upon a time too.

Humans were inherently flawed, but enough time here would eradicate those imperfections.

"Grian," Scar said, opening the bedroom door to see the human sitting stiffly on the bed, waiting. "Our new friend isn't following the rules. Why don't you go get him for me?"

Against his will, Grian stood up, walking swiftly out the door. Scar stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder. "Curse him if he speaks out. Just this once."

It went unspoken that this was Grian's redemption, his mercy from another miserable death like the others. Like it or not, the introduction of another disobedient pet had made Grian's position interesting again, and Scar was always excited to continue his favorite game.

It was the only thing keeping the two of them alive.

Seems I've failed my task XD

BUT MAN SUCH A GOOD LITTLE FICLET TO WAKE UP TOO OMG

God i bet Mumbo, whne he sees Grian is surprised but relieved cuz now they both can go together. Grian is smiling until he gets up to him and then just tried convincing him to come back to Scar.. Grian is forced to curse Mumbo- but with what tho

[thesecondplacename]

Title: Immortality

Summary: If you let me consume you, the world would pay for it.

 —---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It hurts. I loved him first and I'll be the last person to love him. With all my years and my never aging appearance, my curse to love so much it consumes my whole being and sets it ablaze leaving me with nothing but the ashes of what could have been if I wasn't me. 

Mortality, something that struck fear into so many people, a reminder that the clock never stopped for no one, the constant reminder that at any chance they could die. Immortality, people have gone to war and killed just for a chance at having it. I wished with every fiber of my being that the next time I looked into the mirror I saw the signs of wrinkles and the imperfections that come with age, but my prayers fell on deaf ears for any God that listened could not hear my shout and pleases, I didn’t have a soul that any being could save. When you have outlived dynasties and empires, seen water turn into land, and been fought in every war that came about, you no longer have a name, have no origin, just a nameless face among a sea of people. 

A long time ago I came to the realization that loving someone could only cause pain, for when they die, and so many years had passed I would no longer remember their face, their mannerisms, what made them laugh, I no longer could remember who I pledged my heart to. The pain of their death and only an abandoned grave with a name that was no longer legible, it was like they never existed and the faint memory of a laugh or soft touches were the only thing left but soon that would disappear from my mind and the pain would stay knowing that I loved a ghost.   

No matter how hard someone tries it is impossible to make your body do what your brain wants instead of your heart. The way heat would rise to my cheeks and the way my stomach would come alive with butterflies, all the signs were there and it only made it harder to stay away. His laugh was contagious and he gave his smile out like it was halloween and I was a child, gentle touches that left marks that burned and imprinted onto my skin. I was in love with a man named Richard John "Dick" Grayson, and I would do everything in my power to destroy that, the man that lighted up the dark clouds in my life, someone that made the pain of living bearable.  

It was hard pushing away someone who wanted to stay, I tried to be hurtful and make my words turn into blades that left wounds so deep that they would scar. But every time I opened my mouth I couldn’t be as mean as I wanted, the thought of destroying  a light so bright and glorious that made people stop and wonder if the sun had come down and taken human shape. The only thing that I could do that would not destroy that light was to leave in the dead of night far away for Gotham and everything that had to do with him, China or Brazil, something that would not remind me of him of the smile that made me stop and hold my breath. Because if I stayed and let myself have him I would consume him and everything he gave me freely, and if that happened, if I engraved a place in my heart and let my whole being be set ablaze by him. Then to only lose him to time, having to hold his body as age took him or if I lost him sooner than I was meant to I would burn the world in my madness, no one would be safe, men, women, and even children would feel my pain for generations.  

I would make the world remember the soft smiles and the soft touches, I wouldn't let his grave be lost to time, I wouldn't let him be lost to time. I had given so much of myself to him. I don't think he even understands how much I have given to him, it’s not normal to love like this and it was dangerous. So I did the only thing I knew, I left without  a trace, I wanted to be remembered only as a bad dream and nothing more and hopeful in a new millennium I would no longer remember the love he so freely gave to someone so undeserving.  

[halo-lll-odst]

ok anyway continuing from this post

wanna preface this with i am still pretty new to writing and just figuring shit out as i go 💀but i REALLLY wanted to write shit for my ocs. feel free to leave any criticism u have ok here i go gonna start with the poems first. none of these really have names so i'll just put dividing lines between them ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ a tongue tied by years of misuse flower petals disintegrating under the sweltering sun my eyes are pained by the sight

i remember your hands well held together by adhesive, too unreliable otherwise yet they were loved all the same

i don't know how something could've gone so wrong

a heart stretched thin by decades of mistreatment a cold snow drifting over the landscape my eyes are shut

i don't want to remember it anymore. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ what is a body defined by? its shape? its volume? a body should be made of flesh, so thought the unwise but i myself am a shining example contesting that

the point where a blade cuts meat, that is where i lie a singlehandedly unique experience among the other cutlery it's either this or that, but i am neither a part i walk lines filled with uncertainty

does a butcher consider this? does a butcher ever stop to think? a new creature made from gore and metal, born in his shop perhaps he doesnt ever realize it perhaps i'm never going to be seen.

my body buried beneath the earth, yet i still horrifyingly remain my flesh has sloughed away in ripples, yet again, i remain metal scratches and whines as it glides over similar structures my blood may have turned to mist aeons ago, but i will still be here

i watch and wait for a similar experience cutting through cartilage and snipping tendons with stainless steel replacing beautiful blossoms with polymers day by day i shift and warp

i am something subhuman. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    i keep my still heart close and my knives even closer

drifting through a confusing, uncaring world knowing only how to float along the winding roads they no longer speak to me their chords all ringing wrong

stepping on pedals, seeing what they do testing them with reckless abandon, just wanting to hear something similar it's a billion to one, i've checked it time and time and time again my song is never going to play for me anymore

the music playing before me falls onto deaf ears it irks me, but what can i do? this world has moved past me with little regard i cant help but grasp the handle as tight as i can

i'm losing my grip i can feel it with every millisecond that passes this world turning into a blur of sounds and sights and i have no say in it

can you blame me, then? for being so fierce and fearful? the sands of time trying to wash me away yet i'm going to keep carving my place here with every fiber of my being

i'll keep on carving as long as i need to even if it drowns the song out with knives so polished it mirrors your every move placing my body into the scales, becoming one with an object

perhaps i'll create a new heart, just for me a place to restore my once lost rhythms my personality built from the ground up made of wood and glue

i'll keep on carving and if i don't, cut my strings let me drift into freefall i'll be damned if i can't find a place for this still heart

i'm keeping my promises and i'll keep my knives even closer than before ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ok now for the actual fics and shit :D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hey. it's me  you awake? > mmhn > yea i'm awake  good.  hey, look, i-... i'm sorry. > ?  i just  ugh.  fuck. > that's a new one coming from you  oh, hush > LOL > but besides that > i'm not gonna be able to take an apology i don't know the purpose of  i know i know i know  i just  need to collect myself. > ok  i'm. sorry for what i did to you. you shouldn't have ever ended up as... this.    > it's ok  it's really not. i went behind your back. i never told you what i was doing. i planned so much and told so little, you deserved to know.  i'm a terrible mother. > ...  don't feel obligated to say anything, please.  i messed up. > stop  i messed up and your whole life is different now. if i h > mom  ad just let you go peacefully, things would > Mom.  be okay > MOM > i'm sorry, i had to get your attention somehow  it's okay, i probably deserve that. > now you hush > but i don't think you're as evil as you think you are. > you may have messed up, sure, but your heart was in the right place. > isn't that all that matters? > sigh > look, i'm not going to pretend this hasn't taken its toll on me. > but there's no sense in mourning over a missed opportunity. > might as well roll with it  i guess you're right. > see  how many times are you going to make me tell you to hush? > LOL but i guess you're right. i just, hope we can move past this. i'm sorry i interrupted your recharge cycle > how many times are you going to make me tell you it's ok?  hush. > hee hee hee but, seriously. you're at low charge last time i checked, which was no more than an hour or two ago. you should go back to bed. > you're not my mom :p  i have bad news hun, i am. i love you. > love you too  goodnight. > same to you, and hey  yeah? > good luck with work in the morning ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > journal 63. 2 months already, wow. > i don't really know how to open this one, so i guess i'll just start with the usual stuff. i drove a little over 14 hours today, got caught in traffic maybe 30 minutes or so outside of des moines which pushed the 13 hour drive to 14, but i made it from the love's stop in battlement mesa colorado to the one outside edmond oklahoma. don't really know why those ones are always my choice, but the workers have this air of exhaustion about them that lets me slip by without any worries. they always have good electronics i can scavenge from too. > i would've taken the route through kansas instead, but there was loads of rain forecasted throughout the state. didn't want to have to just park my semi on the side of i-70, would've almost certainly gotten the highway patrol called on me. > i was kind of thinking though, when going through one of the smaller towns, hartley, just how wide and vast so much of this part of the states is

> my current image encoder sucks ass, sorry future me, but you can see a small semblance of what i mean > and i don't ever like to be the type to mull over things for too long, but i got to thinking, just how the hell did i get here? > seriously, i mean my case must be one in a million, right? > hell not even that generous. one in... fuck. i don't even care to count right now. but crunching the numbers super quickly of just how many of the people like me there were in that facility, and maybe in others, that's... what, 500 people, max? i'm just pulling numbers out of my ass, again, i don't care enough right now to do statistics and likelihoods of there being other facilities. but from what i am now, it doesn't seem like something that would just be thrown to the side. > damnit, i'm rambling again > my point is that i divided that random guess number by the current population, and got 0.0000000803083841953. that's a 0.00000803083841953% chance that some random schmuck on the side of the street is like me. > some mechanical fucking freak. > i don't know why i'm getting so angry all of a sudden, but i just wish i had an explanation. > i wish i knew why i ended up like this. > the only thing i remember before waking up on that glitchy old ms-dos computer (bless their soul, they were trying their hardest, but i could tell they hadn't seen maintenance in years) was a doctor telling me that i needed surgery again. > and i don't think in all my years in and out of the hospital that THIS was ever an option. > i didn't choose this, and i sure as hell don't know what to do now > lord > i hate being angry. i really honestly do, but i don't know what other emotion to rely on > i'm frustrated. > i don't even know where to begin. > who do i tell this shit to? sure i have internet access, but forums only get you so far. do i just scream at a wall until it crumbles? > i thought not having medical issues would help me. > clearly fucking not. > what's that one book > i have no mouth and i must scream? > that > where do i even go from here > i can keep driving forever virtually. > i could keep driving and driving and driving until i'm found out by the cops and deconstructed or whatever > i don't know how i thought life would be any easier if all my issues were just lifted away > i'm just lost and drifting now > i can keep creating but that's only going to keep me sane for so long > fuck > at this point i'd be content with some random scientist coming up to me and telling me why i'm this way all of a sudden and why this happened and what to do > i just need a sense of direction > i just need a fucking sense of goddamn direction. > i'm scared and this body can't feel exhaustion > i can't just sleep this off i can't just reset my brain > i can't do anything to stop this damn nagging fear > i don't think i've ever had to confront something this way before > i'm rambling and i'm panicking and i can't even cry about it > closest i can get is spinning up my fans faster than light itself > if there's a god, he's sure as hell laughing at me > i don't know how to end this entry > i'm just stressed > i wanna go home and see my mom > i want things to go back to normal > whatever > i can't deal with this right now. i'm leaving this for now. fuckin hell. > til tomorrow future me. > night i guess. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ok those are all i have rn :3 hope u emjoyed and criticism/comments or anything are always appreciated!!!!!  btw sorry these are all kind of out of order on the in universe timeline, i posted them in order of when i wrote them (save for the 4th thing i wrote that first but wanted to group it with the other fic). also the first poem is written by the one character who types like “> this”’s mom. the next two are written by her herself also i can explain these ocs story a bit if you want!!!!!!