#i kind of mucked the setting

[mydadlistenstothis]

New podcast episode is up! This week, we're getting on the dance floor with Wednesday Addams to the music of the Cramps and their classic album Bad Music for Bad People!

[http-tokki]

ʚ⁺˖ ↠ blue

ᰔ pairings: dabi/touya todoroki x fem!reader ᰔ content/tags: mha spoilers, childhood pov, abusive childhoods, childhood crush, blood, allusions to self harm/suicide, explicit language, smut, kinda not really, its smutty talk, angst, allusions to s/a, power dynamics, time jump to when touya is like 26, creative liberties have been taken with the original story, set in the century 2400 ᰔ wc: 10.5k ᰔ a/n: so there is a bit of a weird timeline with this one. instead of touya dying at 13, I've made it he dies at 16 and the subsequent events are a lil delayed, in the manga he is 24 atm but here i have him as 26, please suspend your disbelief for a sec cause the amount of work ive put into this so it makes sense, i almost went crazy

March 10th 2460 Touya: aged nine You: aged eight (and three-quarters)

Breakfast is at five, lunch at twelve, and dinner at seven.

The clock hands tick over the first five graduations and onto the sixth, meaning it is six minutes past seven and dinner is late.

Lateness is not tolerated by the Todoroki clan.

No reason, whether it be big or small, would be accepted nor understood by the head of the family, and punishment for being tardy ranged from groundings to lectures and in the most severe cases, a beating. However, those parameters do not extend to said head, who you think to be more akin to that of a prison warden than a father.

You watch the housekeeper slide the last of the food onto the table and take another look at the clock.

7:08.

The table had been set, food diligently prepared and presented, plates piled high with greens and dripping meat, three different kinds of fish, an array of soups, and other liquid foods. Mrs Todoroki often had trouble eating, so instead opted for warm broths and hot teas, and they were all going cold while you waited for Mr Todoroki to come in from Touya’s nightly training. Saliva coats your tongue as you breathe in the heavenly scents wafting from the mountains of food, your stomach growling in protest at not being filled with the delicious smells.

Ten minutes pass and just before the eleventh has a chance to be observed, the sliding doors to the dining room whoosh open. With the ease and casualness of someone who is above the law of the household, Enji Todoroki strolls in followed closely behind by the eldest sibling.

Touya trails behind his father, movements sluggish and slow, his frail body slumped in exhaustion and what you would only later realise as terror. You can almost see the muck that weighs on his body, dripping off sharp bones in big flat globs of swamp green mud, seeping into the reeds of the tatami mats below. Fresh wounds litter his arms, blooms of dark red blood pock the sterile bandages that were hastily wrapped around his limbs. The stark white began at his wrists and climbed up and up his arms until they disappeared beneath the sleeve of his t-shirt. You follow Touya, eyes lingering on his wounds as he sits down opposite you.

“Fuyumi. Is he-“ Your question is hushed, spoken from the corner of your mouth to avoid raising suspicion of the subject.

“He’s okay, we don’t talk about it.” Her answer comes in a rush, eyes darting towards her father like a prey animal watching their stalker.  “Just eat.” 

Fuyumi’s mouth pulls into a frown for a quick second before her attention moves to the food before her.

You nod, attention shifting from the boy across the table to the plate that had been prepared just for you. A small helping of meat and fish paired with a big serving of rice and vegetables, the nanny even going as far as to put it into a divider plate as though you were a toddler, but you thanked her regardless, smiling up at the haggard-looking woman as she nodded politely and moved onto tending to baby Shouto. The food only holds your attention for so long before you glance back up at Touya, watching as he cuts into his steak with the precision of a man far beyond his years. Each move slow and calculated; every shift of his arms or turn of his head deliberate and purposeful, small actions to avoid raising awareness of his person. Come to think of it, all the children, save for Shouto, moved like that. As if they were in constant apologetic states just for breathing, existing, and with their father you understand why, but it doesn’t stop you from staring at the boy before you.

"Stop looking. He doesn't like it when you stare." Fuyumi whispers, smacking her knee against yours.

"But it looks like it hurts." You whisper back, unable to look away from the red splotches on the white bandages.

You want to ask if he is okay. If he needs a doctor and who did that to him? Was it a bully at school? How was the school not getting involved if he was being bullied this bad?

"Fuyumi," Touya sneers from across the table. "Tell your friend to stop staring at me."

Unabashed hatred simmers in his blue eyes as his glare falls on you. Heat rises to your cheeks, stumbling out an apology, and vowing to never look at him again.

No one had ever looked at you like that. With such hatred and malice, you didn’t even know existed.

"He plays rough, always falling over at school," Mr. Todoroki’s voice booms throughout the room, so loud and sudden it is like a thunderclap on a clear day. "You've got to be more careful, Touya. What would people think if they saw you like this!"

The lack of care for his son’s well-being gives you pause mid-bite. The vegetables fall from your fork as goosebumps skitter along your skin.

What would people think if they saw you like this?

What would they think other than he had been in an accident? Is Touya’s broken body a regular occurrence that people would be so used to seeing that it would start to raise suspicion? Had he been hurt on purpose? Why would Mr. Todoroki say that? Did Mr. Todoroki do that to Touya?

Your attention is pulled outwardly as Natsuo starts to talk about his day, telling his mom and the housekeepers all about the latest games and toys at school, the newest edition of a card game you like captivates you and your thoughts are swept away from the strange boy across from you. 

Dinner ended as it always did.

Mr. Todoroki called the housekeeper over to deal with the mess and children as he retired to his office and Mrs Todoroki took her evening walk around the grounds of the estate. You can’t stay the night despite it being a Friday, you’re never allowed to stay the night. Fuyumi had stayed at yours plenty of times, your parents never saying no to another friend but never you at hers. You thanked both her parents and waved bye to her brother before the youngest housekeeper walked you home. That’s how every Friday night ended.

That routine had become a staple in your life, going on two years, before there was a change to the way of things.

------

July 1st 2362 Touya: aged eleven You: aged ten

The shift was subtle and gradual, like the way a house is warmed by a fire on a winter’s eve. Slow and steady, seeping into all corners of the once-frozen house until all you know is warmth and you can’t remember how the cold felt. That’s how you would describe Touya’s presence in your life. From the arctic interactions each Friday night at the dinner table to someone you would call a friend.

The first thaw of the ice wall that had formed around your friend’s brother, was an accident.

Knee deep in the heat of summer, you had rushed over after summer school, swimmers in your backpack and a dream of jumping into the fresh cold heaven that was the local pool. You had come looking for Fuyumi, hell-bent on getting your poor friend out of the stuffy old house and somewhere she could have fun without the risk of her dad making her or her siblings cry.

You had come to hate Mr Todoroki.

He hadn’t done anything to you personally to deserve the contempt you held towards your friend's dad but you had heard enough from Fuyumi. She had told you all the times he made her mom cry. How there would be arguing and then the sounds of breaking plates followed by her mom’s cries. Mrs. Todoroki never said anything was wrong, never alluded to anything other than a mild argument but there had to be something more, right? Adults didn’t cry over nothing!

“ ‘Yumi, let's go to the pool!” you call down the hall. “I’ll buy ice cream this time.”

The housekeeper had let you in, instructing that your friend was in her room finishing up some school work but after you checked her room and found no sign of her, you went looking.

That is how you found Touya.

Walking into the bathroom under the assumption you would find Feyumi, you are greeted with a situation you are not old enough to understand the severity of.

Touya slouched on the bathroom floor, surrounded by bloodied towels, unspooled bandages, and uncapped ointment tubes. A piece of gauze caught between his teeth as he attempts to bandage his bleeding hand.

He shouts at you to leave, his command broken as he hiccups around the sobs falling from him. Scorched skin covering the majority of his arms, fingers red and blistering as they shake.

That image sears into your brain. Imprinting itself onto your eyelids so that each time you fall asleep, you see Touya; broken and bloody.

There isn’t much you remember from that afternoon, only flashes and stills that live in the recesses of your mind.

The feel of the cold tiles on your exposed legs as you knelt before the once terrifying older boy who had never had a single nice thing to say to you.

The smell of salt and metal of his fresh blood.

The sound of Touya’s cries as you peeled incorrectly placed bandages off raw and exposed skin.

The acidic taste of bile in the back of your throat upon first laying eyes on the scene before you.

It had been too much for little you to comprehend so you just forgot most of it. Thrown it into a locked drawer in your mind and lost the key.

That was the beginning of the thaw, a gruesome and bloody beginning to a friendship that spanned years and ended just as horribly.

------

September 23rd 2463 Touya: aged twelve You: aged eleven

“So it's this really old movie that my mum used to watch” you explain as you click on the familiar title screen. “It’s about a girl who gets transported to this weird world and she has to solve some weird riddle to get out.”

Touya looks at you like you had grown a second head but accepts your weird movie recommendation. You sit down next to him, popcorn bucket jiggling as the couch sinks under your frame.

The beginning animation of Spirited Away starts and the familiar tune wraps around you like a warm hug. This was the movie you liked to watch whenever you felt sad, and you noticed Touya was a little sadder than normal these days so you offered to have a movie night. His siblings had all said yes but upon discovering that the movie was one from decades ago, backed out. So with just the two of you left, you sit in silence and watch as the beautiful world comes to life.

It’s a nice moment between the two of you, sharing something so personal with someone you would have never considered a friend and here the two of you were, watching a movie. Like friends!

“I’m gonna call you Chihiro cause all she does is cry and that’s all you do too,” Touya announces as the credits begin to roll.

“I do not!” you retort, slapping his arm lightly. “I cry a normal amount for a girl my age!”

Touya rolls his eyes. “Whatever, Chihiro.”

------

February 14th 2464 Touya: aged thirteen You: aged twelve

Spring is only a month away yet it feels as if it were the middle of December.

The cold of winter had sunk its claws deep into the city and it seemed as if it did not have plans to let go of it anytime soon. Everyone in Tokyo bundled up against the frost that coated the wind but it wasn’t the cold that had your hands trembling as you gripped a single rose.

It was Valentine's Day and you were about to ask Touya to be yours.

The nerves that had built in your stomach had taken over your extremities. It was as if your entire body was a live wire that every so often touched an exposed pipe and jolted.

In the two years since the bathroom incident, you had grown closer to the oldest Todoroki, sparking a friendship that consisted of more than smiles and shy hellos across the dinner table. Phone calls and text messages were the daily, walking to school and home together was the new norm, all things that one would consider friendly but there was a part within your heart that was growing to like Touya a little more than a friend. You knew it was a crush, you weren’t a little kid anymore, but you also knew that he was unattainable for many reasons. One was that he was a sibling of a close friend and the other being that he was not someone who thought about life that way. There was no room for crushes in Touya’s world. There was only hero work. How to become a hero and then how to become the number one hero.

You had heard this speech a million times. His plans to surpass his father in the rank of heroes and become the ultimate symbol of peace. Heroes had no time for girlfriends, only villains.

But you had no plans of becoming a hero so there was no real reason you shouldn’t try, right? Your mom had bought you the flower this morning, picking up on the crush that you had developed on your friend and very excitedly pushed you to give Touya a gift.  

“What do I do with this?” Touya asks, confused as he takes the flower from your hands.

You had stopped halfway through the walk home and turned to your friend, eyes wide with fear, and shoved the bloom into his hands. Originally the plan was to hand it to him as you said goodbye for the afternoon but you were swiftly running out of ways to regulate your breathing to counteract the anxiety wreaking havoc in your stomach.

“It's for you” you answer, eyes trained on your shoes. 

“Me?” 

“Yes.”

“Are you asking me to be your valentine?” There is a pause. “Do you like me?”

Yes.

“No!” you lie, shouting the word even though you didn’t mean to. “I felt bad that you hadn’t gotten anything, so I got you something and there you go, it doesn’t mean I like you.”  

You hear footsteps, watching Touya’s shoes move closer to yours. “Just admit, you like me.” He teases. 

“I do not!” balling your fists, you stomp your foot. “I already told you why I got them now shut up before I take them back!” 

Another pause. 

“Thank you,” Touya says gently. “Even if it's just cause you felt bad for me” 

Spring had come early for Touya Todoroki.

------

June 28th 2466 Touya: aged fifteen You: aged fourteen

Romance had blossomed between the two of you, then wilted, then blossomed again, then wilted again.

Teenage hormones had been unleashing havoc on your friendship for the past year. One day you were fine and the next, barely speaking but it wasn’t anyone’s fault.

“You two just need some time apart and then you can talk about it, you guys will sort it out.” Your mother had cooed, stroking your hair back as you cried one afternoon after you and Touya had had a ruthless argument.

The topic of fighting was always the same. His insane need to overtake his father and prove him wrong. The need within him had turned insatiable. Morphing from a dream that would one day be achieved with dedication and hard work into something that was turning your best friend into a ravenous beast.

“You’re not listening to me. I need you to listen to me.” Touya shouts as you walk home together.

“I am. You’re just not making sense.” You roll your eyes at your friend, turning your attention away from the raving lunatic walking beside you.

“Why would your dad have it out for you? He’s your dad?”

Touya huffs and stops, hand wrapping around your wrist to pull you back.

“My dad isn’t like your dad. He doesn’t love me or any of us. He just wants us to be better than All Might.” His words are slow as if explaining something to a toddler. “He knows that I am more powerful than him and now he’s scared that I might beat him so he wants me to stop training.”

You groan out his name, annoyed at the constant conversation topic. “Your dad wants you to stop training because you keep hurting yourself. He has told you that a million times, he’s just trying to keep you safe.”

“If he wanted to keep me safe, he wouldn’t have let me train like this. This isn’t about me being safe, this is about me outranking my dad.”

“Touya-“

He continues his tirade. “Enji has realised that I am better than him and Shoto but he doesn’t want his loser son who can only use fire to become the number one hero. I don’t know why you’re on his side. Why can’t you be on my side for once?”

“I am on your side!” you shout, yanking your arm away from his grasp. “I’m always on your side, why do you always make it seem like everyone is against you!”

Touya’s mouth snaps shut at your sudden outburst.

“I can’t keep having this argument with you. I feel like you don’t even want to be my friend so you come up with this stupid stuff to push me away and if you want that, fine. Just tell me so I don’t have to listen to you anymore.” You huff and turn around, starting on your way home without your friend.

You don’t hear his footsteps follow you.

His apology comes in a text later that night.

I'm sorry, Chihiro. Can we still be friends?

------

October 19th 2466 Touya: aged fifteen You: aged fourteen “Can you promise me something?”  Touya’s words become mist in the mid-autumn night.

“Depends.”

You turn to face your friend, feeling the dew-soaked grass squish beneath your shoulders. Hidden behind the garden wall, lost within the shrubbery the two of you hid from the housekeepers who had been tasked with wrangling the children in for dinner. Touya had run first, taking off down the hall the second he heard the call of his name and you followed, unaware as to what you were running from but you followed him everywhere so why wouldn’t you now?

“Please don’t forget me.”

“Forget you?” your brows crinkle in confusion. “Why would I forget you? Are you going somewhere?”

Touya is still on his back, attention rapt on the stars twinkling above him.

“Just when we get older and go to different schools and things change, you know.” He sighs. “Just don’t forget me.”

You sit up, concern overtaking your confusion. Why was he talking about this stuff now? Your friend turns to look at you, mouth pulled down in a frown as tears line his cerulean eyes.

“I won't.” You shake your head, scooting closer across the grass and grab his cold hand, interlocking your fingers together, you squeeze and swear an oath. “I promise, I won’t ever forget you.”

November 24th 2367 Touya: aged sixteen You: aged fifteen

Nights come quicker in winter.

Which means less time spent with Touya.

But at least there is a little extra time when he walks you home on an evening.

It is a little awkward. Walking so close together but not actually touching aside from the occasional brush of fingers that sent your heart into a sprint. There is something unspoken between the two of you, something that teeters on the edge of romance but not something that you are both ready to dive into. It’s not like you are kids anymore, if you are going to date, it will be different than if you just liked each other. You will have to act like a girlfriend and not his friend and you didn’t know how to be a girlfriend. Was it any different than how you acted now? Plus, kissing and hand-holding. God, you want to kiss him.

You both stop at the gate of your house. The lights in the living room are on which means your parents are up waiting for you.

Touya drops your backpack at your feet.

There is a beat of stillness between the two of you, the tension rising with every second. You had not spoken a single word to each other the entire walk home and you don’t think you will even say goodbye. Touya offers you a tight smile and steps back, confirming your suspicions of a silent goodbye.

"Hey, I need to tell you something." You blurt out the words, not wanting him to leave just yet.

"Yeah?"

"I…umm," you stammer, slipping your hands into your jacket pockets. "I know it's your birthday in a few weeks, so I wanted to know what you want as a present."

"That's a question, Chihiro” Touya's mouth lifts at the corners. “You said you needed to tell me something."

“I got mixed up." You amend.

"You sure? There isn't anything you need to tell me?" Touya pushes, taking a step to close the gap.

"I'm sure. I just got confused" You nod, affirming your choice of words. “What do you want as a gift?”

"Hmm,” He pauses and takes a few more steps closer, lips pursed as if deep in thought. “Well, I want some of those cookies your mom makes." 

Touya stops a few feet from you, close enough for a hug but not close enough that it was weird. 

You laugh. "Really? That's it? You don't want a proper present?"

He nods. "Wrap it up, and it'll be a proper present.”

“Okay, cookies it is” You mirror his nod and smile. Your palms start to sweat, cheeks and ears begin to burn as you look up at your best friend.

“Any more questions?” 

You shake your head. “Nope, that’s all.” 

“Okay, well I’m gonna go 'cause I should have been home ten minutes ago but you are such a slow walker” he teases, bouncing up on his toes. 

“I-Um,” you stutter, unable to come up with a snappy comeback due to his proximity. “Go home before you get into trouble.” 

“I’m gonna.”

He makes no move to go.

Silence fills the gap.

“Ahh, well I’m going to go since-“

You’re interrupted by a soft kiss against your cheek. 

You still, unable to move at the realisation that Touya had just kissed you. 

“Okay, I’m going.” He announces and takes a step back. “I’ll see you on Monday?” 

You nod, raising a hand in goodbye as he starts back down the street.

“I hope you like me too, 'cause that kiss made me late and my dad’s gonna kill me!” he shouts back, already halfway down the street. 

“I do…like you…back” you shout awkwardly, feeling every inch of blood your body had flood into your cheeks. “Good luck. Hope your dad doesn't kill you!” 

------

November 30th 2467 Touya: aged sixteen You: aged fifteen

You speak at Touya’s funeral. 

The third speaker of the ceremony, having been urged on by Fuyumi and Natsuo despite your protests, and the one to close off the day before his ashes were taken home. You tried not to cry, bottom lip wobbling all day and you would have made it had you not been shoved on stage, microphone held to your face as you unfolded the crumpled sheet you had stuffed into the pocket of your coat.

The rest of the day was a blur as was the week,  then the month and only after six full months of grieving daily, crying god only knows how much, did you finally start to see the light at the top of the hole you had buried yourself in but unlike the times you and Touya would play together, his warm hand wasn’t there to help you back up.

------

January 4th 2477 Touya: aged sixteen You: aged twenty-five

You think about Touya Todoroki often.

How your best friend had been killed in some freak accident. How despite his father rushing into the flames to save his son, had come out unscathed yet all that was found was Touya’s jaw bone. It didn’t make sense and you had driven yourself crazy with theories surrounding his death. It was an accident, they had all said. Even if it was an accident, Enji Todoroki was not innocent.

You think about the kind of man Touya could have been if he had lived, what kind of hero he would have become. How he would save the day then turn and smile at his adoring fans, blue eyes blazing bright with pride. You often think about his eyes, remembering how they softened whenever he would smile at you, brighten as you offered half of whatever snack bar you had that day. You think about him enough that you think you’re going crazy when you look up into the eyes of a stranger and see Touya staring back at you.

"Touya?" you whisper as you stare at the strange man.

You had walked headfirst into their chest while crossing the dark street, ducking under awnings to avoid the winter rain. Hoping to cut ten minutes from your usual walk home, desperate to beat your roommate home and into the warm embrace of your apartment’s limited hot water, you took the risk of walking down the alley; what you weren’t hoping for was to bump into your best friend’s dead brother. There was no way it was him, maybe he was a distant Todoroki. Enji did seem like the type to spread it around so maybe a few illegitimate children were running around with the eyes of Endeavour.

His hand reaches out to grab your arm, nails digging into your exposed flesh. You want to wince, to cringe away from him but something within you is telling you to hold your ground. The stranger pulls you closer, all false bravado leaving you as you realise what’s about to happen. Your body tenses, hands uselessly curling into fists at your side.

"Who the fuck are you?" a harsh whisper cuts through the quiet patter of rain.

The hand your arm tightens when you take too long to respond. 

“I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.” Your answer whooshes from you, all air leaving your body in a single sentence.

The stranger ducks his head to get closer to yours and you turn your face away, afraid to look into the face of the man who had the eyes of a long-lost love. This had to be some sort of joke, right? You were not about to be assaulted by a guy who had Touya’s eyes, there was no way the universe was that cruel.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to I’m sorry, please.” Hot tears roll over your cheeks, your bottom lip quivering as you fight the frown wanting to form. You were not above begging despite knowing it wouldn’t do any good, if there was some way to get out of this situation alive and unscathed, you were going to try it. 

“Hey,” the stranger calls to you, shaking you gently. “Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you.” 

Great, he’s playing mind games now. You’ve seen enough true crime to know that there are no good people left in the world, especially the ones who lurk in alleyways.

A cold hand reaches out and grips your chin, lifting your face to his. The gesture is intimate, gentle and familiar.

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean anything by it. I'm sorry, I-“You’re sobbing now. 

“Look at me” he interrupts, fingers tightening on your cheeks.

He repeats his order when your gaze doesn’t move.

You sniffle, blink back tears that refuse to stop coming, and focus your attention on the man before you.

“I’m not going to hurt you so stop crying,” his voice is soft.

The hand that was on your arm now cups your cheek, thumb brushing away the tears that coat your cheeks. His skin is rough and warm, but there is a bite of something cold on his palm. He holds you with such tenderness you feel a tug at your heart not for any feelings towards the stranger but because you had never been held like this before. That a complete stranger who was probably a crazy psycho villain was holding you with the care you hold a baby animal with.

“I need you to stop crying and answer me, can you do that?” he asks, nodding as his thumb continues to brush over your cheek. 

You nod, taking in a shaky breath. 

“Good girl.” Heat floods your cheeks. “Now, why is a pretty girl like you walking alone at night?” he asks softly.

You blink up at him, surprised at the switch in demeanour. 

“I just finished work and this is shortcut.” you don’t have time to come up with an elaborate lie. “I’m really sorry about the whole name thing, you just look like a friend who died and I thought that maybe he wasn’t actually- I’m sorry” You feel the tears welling up again. 

“Well, he’s not me.” He sighs, removing his hands from your face. You kind of miss the warmth they had. “I’m sorry you lost someone, but I don’t think accusing strangers of being dead people is a good idea.”

You nod wordlessly, too stunned at his shift in tone to formulate a response. The man reaches up for the hood of your raincoat, pulling it over your head tight to shield you from the rain. 

“I need one more thing from you okay?” he asks, ducking his head to look into your eyes. “You gonna listen to me again?” 

“Okay.” Your voice shakes. 

“Don’t mention that name to anyone else, alright?” 

He waits for your nod and then releases your hood. “You’re such a good listener” The fact he is praising you has your heart spinning. Wasn’t he ready to attack you a few minutes ago?

“Now go home” he nods his head to the exit of the alleyway. You follow his nod and look back at the light-filled street. “And don’t walk down backstreets anymore, you could get hurt.” 

By the time you turn back to face him, he is already halfway down the alleyway arms raised in a farewell. You watch as he turns the corner and only when he is gone do you let yourself breathe. ------

March 6th 2477 Touya: aged sixteen You: aged twenty-five

"Let it go, dude," Natsuo sighs for the umpteenth time as he packs his books away. "You're lucky you didn't get hurt. He could have been a complete psycho."

Your friend is right and has been every other time you have brought up the strange man from the alley and you can tell by the way he shoves the textbooks into his backpack that his patience is running thin. Over the years, you had grown closer to Natsuo, looking at him like a little brother who you could force to hang out with and do things Fuyumi didn't want to. Unfortunately for him, he was the first person you called upon meeting the stranger (Knowing Fuyumi would have had a heart attack upon hearing about your encounter). Initially, Natsuo was concerned, terrified for your physical and mental wellbeing even going so far as to suggest letting his father know about the incident to launch a formal investigation but you were quick to shut that down. You hadn’t been hurt and the man didn’t seem to be skulking in alleyways to assault anyone so there is no reason you should get heroes involved.

"Dude, he looked so familiar! I know him," you press on, hands splayed on the library table as you lean in as if you were about to reveal a secret. "I think he was a childhood friend."

You had purposefully omitted the fact the stranger bore a striking resemblance to his dead brother or how his entire aura radiated familiarity and warmth something you only really felt from said brother.

Natsuo laughs and zips his bag closed. " 'Yumi was your only childhood friend."

"Fine, a neighbour, maybe I don't know, but I know him."

"Should I schedule you with my family psych, or will this fade by next month?" You frown at Natsu, sigh, and then give in to his pronounced lack of interest.

"I don't need to see anyone because I know I'm right," you start to pack up your things. "But, just for you, I won't mention it again."

------

May 17th 2477 Touya: aged sixteen You: aged twenty-five

You feel stupid.

Really fucking stupid.

So monumentally stupid with every single decision that has led you to this moment. Led you to stand before a thick metal door, the sliding peephole pulled back to allow the man guarding the entry a view as to who knocked like some girl scout. The box of cookies in your hands does nothing to evade that image.

“I have a meeting with…Dabi?” you look down at your phone, squinting at the blurry name on your screen then back to the man guarding whatever was in that building. “I think.”

You have no idea if you’re being set up. If the person you had been corresponding with was the infamous villain or just some poser but what you have deduced from your months long investigation is that you had in fact met Dabi in that alleyway so whether it was him or not you were about to meet, he is your only lead into finally figuring out what exactly happened to Touya

“You think?” You hear the smirk in his voice at the uncertainty in yours. “I think you might have the wrong door, sweetheart.”

It is the right door. The creepy encrypted message you received gave you this very location with the exact time to arrive. This was a giant risk on your behalf. Trusting strangers on the internet to give you accurate information as opposed to being lured into a trap for human trafficking but the need to know more about the mysterious man you had met weeks ago was gnawing at your insides so much that you were more need than person. The hunt had begun with a very broad search into Touya’s death and the records surrounding the tragedy before very quickly veering into villain records and archives. There was a small lead with a hospital admittance for an unidentified burn victim in a hospital a prefecture over from Tokyo but that went cold when the body of the patient was identified two weeks post mortem through dental records. You had all but given up when a weird email in your spam box caught your eye. It was from an unknown sender, hence the immediate spam allocation, and had nothing but a link to a chat site. There is no amount in the universe to quantify the stupidity in your subsequent actions from clicking the link to chatting with the stranger on the other side of the screen but they had the information you wanted and so you followed their instructions to a bookstore, then a bar and then finally an internet café where you logged into the already open discord chat that had the location of the final meeting point. You quickly snapped a picture of the chat before it disappeared and three days later, here you stand in a deserted alleyway surrounded by boarded-up doors and graffitied walls.

“This is the address I was given.” You explain, holding up the phone so the guy can get a look at the message. “I promise I'm not with the police or anything, I just have some questions for Dabi and I know that makes me sound like I’m a police officer but I’m not and I’ve been looking for him for weeks so please, let me in.”

Your mouth sets in a frown and despite wanting to look intimidating and rough, you know you look like a child pouting in an attempt to get more cake. “Please, I’ll give you some cookies if you want.” A shitty bribe but a bribe nonetheless.

The man snorts. “You really have cookies in that box?”

“Yes. Fresh and homemade made and some of them can be yours if you let me in” You wiggle the box.

There is a beat of silence then the sliding peephole slams shut.

Fuck.

You close your eyes, disappointed in the fact you had come so far only to be shut down by some guy behind a door. Maybe this was the universe stepping in and preventing you from getting killed or trafficked. Maybe you should let this whole thing go.

Just as the last of your hope leaves you, you hear the click of a lock and then the door is sliding open. The man who you had been speaking to not ten seconds ago stands before you, muscular tattooed arms crossed over his equally muscular chest.

“Choc chip?” he asks, eyes trained on the box in your hand.

You nod.

“Fine, come in” The man tilts his head in a gesture to welcome you in. “Leave some on the counter.”  

You nod again, your pace quick as you enter the building beyond the door.

The hallway is dim and damp, filled with cardboard and wooden crates stacked along the walls. The ceilings are high with exposed piping and hanging fluorescent bars that would have once lit up the entire walkway. Light bleeds beneath the many doors that line the hall, muted sounds following the flashes of colour that leak from the closed-off rooms. The smell is unpleasant, with mildew and mould growing along every available surface but what did you expect a dirty unoccupied building to smell like?

“Where’s the?” you turn to ask about the counter, but the man has disappeared. The door slides shut caging you in from the outside world, from an escape if need be. “Hello?” you call out and take a step back, dried leaves crunching beneath your feet.

Fuck. Fuck.

You turn on your heels, heading for the door you had stepped through a few seconds ago but are stopped by a familiar voice.

“Did you really bring me cookies?”

You whirl, fingers tightening on the box between them. “Yes, but if you don’t want them, it’s okay. I just thought that I might-“

You watch as the man you had met weeks before steps into the dim light. Breath catches in your throat as you are met with the face of the villain that has filled your screen for weeks now.

Dabi.

He is taller than you remember. Towering a full foot over you, his intimidating figure looms in the dim light. Your eyes follow the line of his scarred skin over his cheeks, down his neck, over exposed collarbones before disappearing beneath the neck of his shirt. Heat fills your face at your wandering gaze and you’re thankful for the lack of lighting.

“Who says I don’t want cookies?” Dabi smirks, taking a step out of the shadows.

“No one.” your answer is a broken stammer, earning a bemused snicker from your companion.

You take in a breath and square your shoulders. “I just don’t want to accuse you of anything.” A better delivery.

The villain hums and takes another step closer. “So, it is you then.”

Another foot closer, and when you don’t back away, one more. His steps are careful; small and reserved as if trying not to frighten you anymore than you already are. The routine is repeated, a hesitant dance of pushing proximity limits until he is less than a foot away. Blue eyes narrowed on you, brows furrowed in intrigue. Same blue as before. Same blue eyes as Touya.

His apprehension and fascination leave as quickly as it came, and you're left staring at a man who looks as if he wants nothing more to do with you.

“So, pretty girl, what can I do for you?” tone casual, pet name rolling off his tongue effortlessly. “You’ve gone through all this trouble to what?”

The thought of lying did cross your mind on your way over but you had already jumped through enough loops to get this meeting, you aren’t in the mood to play games and risk his irritation.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Dabi tilts his head to the side the way an animal does to hear better. There is something so unsettling about the he moves, something not entirely human.

“Talk about what, angel?” his eyes blaze blue as he notices the twitch in your lips at the byname. “About the league? About you? Me?”

“About you.”

Heat pools in your stomach at his affectionate pet name, embarrassment following suit. You should not be letting him get to you the way he is, but it could also be a good bargaining chip. If you couldn’t afford his services monetarily, physical payment would not be entirely painful.

“We can talk about me but first, I want to ask you something.”

“Sure.” The false confidence you had summoned before has not left you yet.

The insincerity of your act is palpable, but Dabi lets you go, lets you take this small win.

“How long did it take you to find me?” his question is genuine, interested in just how exclusive access to him is.

An exhausted sigh leaves your body at the mention of the time that you had put into locating him and his lips quirk at the gesture.

“Four months and 2 weeks, I think.”

An irrationally long time but there are questions that demanding answers.

“So, you’ve spent almost five months thinking about me?” he taunts.

Me. The emphasis on the pronoun doesn’t evade you but you don’t have time to dwell on his excitement.

“Yes. And now I’ve answered two of your questions, can I ask one?”

Dabi shrugs and reaches for the box in your hands. Rough fingers brush against the back of your hands, goosebumps skittering over your skin at the contact. He takes his time opening the small white box, bottom lip pulled between his teeth in contemplation at the contents before him and after a full minute of silent deliberation, does he pick one. Slender unscarred fingers dig into the box, fishing out the biggest and most chocolate filled treat.

“Did you make these?” Dabi holds up the choc chip cookie, inspecting the biscuit in the low light.

“That’s three questions now.” you announce as the unofficial score keeper. “and yes, I made them this morning.”

The making of the desserts had been a coping mechanism on your part. Too nervous to sit still but not so overstimulated you were willing to exercise to shake off the extra energy, you turned to an activity you hadn’t touched since university. The recipe was one you know by heart, having it gifted to you by your mother on your eighteenth birthday, you were free to think as your body worked through the motions. However, the purpose behind you baking said sweets was not entirely self-soothing.

Dabi nods and bites into the biscuit.

“I know you already said you don’t know the guy I mentioned when I first met you and I haven’t mentioned him to anyone again just like you asked me, and I figured with you being a villain, you might have connections that I don’t have and you can access more information as to what happened to him and I promise that I can pay. I’ll pay whatever you want but I don’t really have that much but I’ll pay in food, and that’s kinda why I brought some cookies to show that I can bake but that will only be a small amount because I’m good for a couple thousand-“ you reach into your back pocket to fish out your wallet. “I promise, I won't ever mention this to anyone, but I just really need your help, Dabi.” The juxtaposition of your pastel purple Kuromi wallet holding thousands of dollars as payment for a villain’s services almost makes you chuckle but the lack of recognition from your companion causes you to pocket the purse.

Dabi’s stare is unamused as he chews.

“Why is this guy so important to you?” he asks around a mouthful of chocolate. “You’re willing to blow thousands on some dead guy, not to mention you’ve risked your life coming here, so why is he so special?”

Your fingers curl into a fist, nails digging into your palm before you relax and answer.

“Because he died in a really weird way, and I need to know if there was anything I could have done to prevent it.”

“That’s a stupid reason.” Dabi spits out.

A frown tugs at your mouth.

“He’s dead. Who cares how he died and whether you could stop it or not.” He continues, rolling his eyes as your pout forms. “What’s the real reason you’re looking for answers? There’s something else.”

“It’s stupid.” You mutter, suddenly embarrassed at the reasoning for your investigation.

“Ohh, it can’t be that stupid if you’ve put all this effort in.” Dabi croons. “Come on, angel. You’ve gotta tell me why if I’m gonna do all this work looking for him.”

You take in a deep breath in hopes of smothering the tears that are threatening to spill but the lump sticking in your throat has other plans.

“Because he was my best friend and I loved him and I never got to say goodbye.” You sniff, nose starting to run as the tears build. “Please.”

Dabi stares at you.

“You made these?” the question comes out of left field.

You blink at the villain, unaware as to where he is taking the conversation but answer him nonetheless.

“Yes, I did. It’s stupid I know, bringing cookies as a bargaining chip but I-“

“Your mom’s cookies are better.”  Dabi interrupts.

My what? My mom?

“What?”

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry but her cookies will always be the best.”

Your jaw slackens as you stare at the man before you.

“My mother?”

“Yes. Your mom made better cookies, and it’s not for lack of trying. Yours are really good, but they’ll never beat your mom's.”

Is he fucking with you? Is this some elaborate psychological warfare that he enacted on all his victims? Are you about to die? How does he know about your mother’s cookies?

“Aww, don’t get upset Chihiro. I'm just being honest.”

The nickname rattles your soul.

Touya.

Before you can even register that you are moving, you have crossed the space between your bodies and swung at the villain.

Your clenched fist collides with his jaw, surprising him out of his teasing. Arms wrap around your waist as you collapse against the villain. Your knees break the fall, bones scream out in pain as they slam into the concrete, and you brace for further impact but it never comes. There is a moment when you truly believe you are going to be killed, incinerated into nothing but ash for your assault but nothing happens and so you are left with no other choice but to get answers from the man under you. There is no clear choice as to why you chose violence, some primal part within you acting out of instinct. There isn’t enough time for you brain to catch up or even process that information that had been thrown at you. . In most high-pressure situations, you would retreat inwards and carefully unpack each and every detail of the occurrence like you were a kid under a Christmas tree; not a package left untouched, but you don’t have that luxury in the current moment.

Hot fat tears stream down your face as you grip Dabi’s cheeks in your hand, his skin rough beneath your fingers.

“You’ve been alive this whole time?” you cry, fingers digging into the gaunt flesh and when no answer comes you ask again, the palm of your hand connecting with his cheek in a sharp slap. “You left me to think you were dead, but you’ve been alive?”

Below you, the villain stares up in disbelief. Eyes wide at the mad woman above him, screeching like a banshee let loose. His thin shirt is scrunched tightly between your fingers, pulling the material taunt against his body. You have no control over your actions, feral and bowing to your emotions. You watch as your hand slips to his neck, pushing at the base of his throat.

Finger wraps around your wrist, pulling your weight off his windpipe and then the world shifts.

You are flipped over as easily as a leaf in the wind. Now on your back, the dust that had been kicked up from the floor sticks in your lungs and you cough as you cry.

Dabi hovers above you. Legs on either side of your hips, hands pinning yours above your head preventing you from causing any more harm to him. You try to kick, to wrench your hands from his grasp, throw him off you with your hips but nothing. You fight back against your opponent, teeth gnashing as you desperately try to find purchase on skin but he has done this too many times before to leave anything to chance. All points of access to an injury on his behalf are sealed up, held high above you and there is nothing you can do to reach.

Your cries are loud and deep and aching. Air leaves you with each heaving sob and you fear you may never breathe again. Spit and tears mix in a hot mess across your cheeks and you would wipe away the mess if not for your hands held above.

“I hate you so much.” You seethe, teeth clenched as you breathe in. “I fucking hate you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You hear Dabi apologising over and over again.

A hand brushes over your forehead, then your cheeks, then your jaw.

“You left me.” You wail. “You left me there, all alone.”

Your chest heaves, air being gulped down as if you had been held underwater to the point of drowning and it felt like you had been. You had been held under for so many years and now you were getting a moment of air, and your brain could not process it. 

You take a few more breaths, calming the blood roaring in your ears and pounding heart and finally when your breathing returns to a semi-acceptable rhythm, do you finally acknowledge the man above you.

Dabi glides his palm along your jaw, thumb brushing over your cheekbone before resting his fingers along the side of your neck.

“I’m so sorry.”

A frown pulls at the corners of his mouth.

There is no longer a villain before you. Dabi does not exist. The boy above you is Touya. Your Touya.

You knew it. You knew it was him all along.

“Is it really you?” your voice is hoarse from crying.

“If I answer, you need to promise to keep it a secret,” he whispers, free hand curling in the ends of your hair that lay splayed out beneath you.

“Promise.” You nod and hold out your pinkie the way you did so many times as children.

Touya interlocks his pinkie with yours.

Fresh tears prick at your eyes.

“Hi, Touya,” you whisper.

“Hi.” He whispers back, hand pulling away from yours to glide over your jaw and slot into the hair at the nape of your neck. “I missed you.”

You wrap your arms around his waist and pull his body against yours in a bone-crushing hug. A laugh leaves your friend as he loops his arm around the back of your neck, holding you close. You pull back, face now centimetres from him and wait for him to make the next move. Your body follows his breaths, following his lead just the way you would follow him all those years ago. A lump forms in your throat and you know you look insane; hair mused, cheeks flushed and soaked in tears, eyes still red and crying.

Touya closes the distance, mouth hovering above yours and you think he is going to kiss you but nothing comes.

“Did you really love me?”

A sob leaves you involuntarily.

“I loved you so much, you have no idea.” The truth spills from you. “I love you so much.”

At the confession, Touya kisses you.

His mouth is soft on yours in the gentlest of kisses, almost as if he was afraid that you would fall apart if he pushed any harder. You part your lips to test the waters and when Touya follows your lead opening his mouth against yours, you grip onto the shirt bunched up around his waist. He lets you lead, lets you take control and set the pace for the first few minutes. Following your moves and pressure against your body to not push you any more than you already had been but as you whimper beneath him, his demeanour shifts.

Fingers tighten in your hair and the hand that had been holding himself up comes to rest on your waist, slipping beneath your body to pull you closer to him. Your mouth opens wider beneath his and you feel his tongue trace your bottom lip before flicking into your mouth. Menthol and chocolate fill your senses and you scramble for more, hands gripping his face as you desperately try to get your fill of him; of Touya. The steel of the staples bites into your palm but you don’t care, don’t care what form you have him in, you have your Touya back.

You’re being lifted off the floor, hoisted to sit on his lap, feeling the entirety of his body against yours.

You pull away to stare at him, not believing this is happening and that at any moment you are going to wake up or snap out of your delusion.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Touya asks, eyes frantically searching for the reason you aren’t kissing him anymore.

Your chest constricts at his concern. The same sweet and caring boy you fell in love with all those years ago.

“I’m okay, I just-“You stroke his cheeks and he leans into your touch, inhaling a shaky breath. “I missed you so much. There was so much we didn’t get to do.”

He frowns and nuzzles further into your palm. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I don’t want you to apologise, I just want..” You can’t form the words. Can’t articulate the need within you for him. All these years you’ve held a torch for your deceased best friend. All these years you could have had him with you and now that you do, you aren’t letting go. “I just want you.”

Touya’s frown deepens. “Even now?”  His thumbs stroke circles along your clothed skin.

You know he is referring to his crimes. All the bad he has done and probably will do. You do not care. You had long ago abandoned your hope in the heroes of society, having been granted a look into the past of the now top hero. There is nothing for you in that world, nothing on offer that could sway your feelings for the man below you.

“Even now, and tomorrow and the day after that and yesterday and the day before and the month before that” You smile, knowing you weren’t making sense but none of this made sense. “I never forgot about you.”

Touya’s eyebrows knit together in an expression you don’t know and for a moment you panic; worried you had crossed a line that you didn’t know existed. You want to apologise, take back the words that had so carelessly tumbled out but his grip on your body stops you.

“I never stopped thinking about you,” he sighs, hands sliding up to press into the small of your back.

“Really?” you beam, unable to stifle the excitement that grows in you at his confession.

You are no longer an adult woman sitting in a dirty and dusty warehouse; you are fifteen and hearing your crush confess words you had been so desperately wishing to be spoken.

Your best friend’s fingers trailing over your spine pull you back to the present.

“Never for a single second,” he tests the waters and slips one hand under the hem of your shirt. “I never wanted to forget you.”

When no protest on your behalf comes, Touya slips his other hand beneath the material and begins to trace shapes into your skin.

“What did you think about?” your question is breathless, head beginning to swim as you feel heat bloom in your stomach.

Touya hums in thought, fingers beginning to climb your ribs. “Good things. Great things actually.” hands splay over the band of your bra. “some bad things but that isn’t important.”

Your thighs slip further apart at the implication; weight now fully resting atop his hips. There is no doubt that he can feel the heat from between your legs, the warmth that had begun to pool in the seam of your panties.

“Bad things?” you ask the question without knowing what kind of answer you would get. “I was nothing but nice to you, what bad things could you be thinking of?”

You feel his cock twitch at your innocence. Perfect.

Your answer comes in the form of an action. Touya leans forward and captures your mouth in a searing kiss. All teeth and tongue as his fingers pressed hard into your spine, holding you against his body as if you are a buoy and he is lost at sea. Your own hands begin to wander, sliding from where they came to rest on his neck, into the hair at the nape of his neck and as he digs his teeth into your bottom, you pull at the strands between your digits.

Touya pulls away, breathless.

“I always kept an eye on you, you know.” he pants, pushing your body away only enough to ogle you freely. “And I’ve gotta say you grew up so well.”

There are two thoughts that cross your mind in that spilt second. One: to bring up the fact he has kept you within his sighs for years, has been in the shadows of you life and how there is a part of you, not that big but enough to plant a seed of betrayal, that you can’t forgive him for that. Two: to throw caution to the wind and give into the part of you that aches for him.

The latter wins out.

“I did always think that Dabi was really handsome” you admit, an air of nonchalance in your words.

“Oh yeah? Even with all the new mods?”

“New mods?” you laugh. “Why do you make it sound like you’ve upgraded a game or something?”

Touya laughs with you.

“I’m serious,” vulnerability swims in his eyes as he looks up at you waiting for praise. “Do you really think that I’m still handsome?”

You nod and duck your head closer to his. “I still think you’re so handsome and you will always be handsome, which is really unfair.”

His lips are pressed against yours in a soft kiss. It's gentle and sweet, with no hint of the darkness lurking just below.

“Even after all these years how do you manage to make me so weak?” Touya pulls away to admire you.”You, my pretty girl, are my weakness.”

He tucks your hair behind your ears, holding your cheeks in his cupped hands and pulls you back in for a kiss and you melt into his touch at the possessive compliment.

“All these years, I never thought I’d get to talk to you again let alone touch you.” His mouth moves to your neck, pressing sloppy open-mouthed kisses against your skin. “but, fuck, have I thought about it.”

Your skin flushes at his confession.

His teeth sink into your neck, hard enough to leave a mark but not enough to break the skin.

“Thought about kissing you like this” his words are slurred.

Slick begins to pool in your panties, the seam of your jeans dampening.

“Thought about having you in my lap, just the way you are and how good you’d feel on my cock.”

Your head swims at his words.

“When I saw you again for the first time a few years ago, it took everything in me to not walk up to you and kiss you right there and then.” He bites lower, nipping at your collarbone.

Rough hands make their way under your shirt, exploring the expanse of your back.

“Thought about holding you and kissing you and taking you home.” he bites again. “God, the amount of time I’ve spent imagining you under me or spread out just for me.” Breathing becomes hard. “All for me, just for me.” He chants your name as if it were a prayer.

You grind your hips over his, feeling his cock hard and aching beneath you. Touya groans against your throat, fingers digging into your skin. Hands begin to wander downwards until they find purchase on the buttons of his pants, stopping at the metal for approval from the man beneath you and when it comes in a rushed yes, please you flick open the clasp. Your movements are awkward and nervous, having never thought this would happen and you can tell Touya is just as jittery. His fingers dip under the waistband of your pants, toying with the soft elastic of the band. Your hands follow his and pull at the material, trying to pull it down but stop at the realisation there is no way you could do this and still look seductive.

“I’m trying really hard to make this hot, but I don’t think it’s gonna work.” You admit, giggling at the absurdity.

Touya shakes his head, removing his hands from your hips to hold your face again. “I don’t want to fuck you here.” He presses a kiss to your nose.

Before you can ask, he is answering.

“I’m not gonna have the first time I fuck you be on a dirty floor in a random building.” A kiss on your right cheek.

“But what if I want that?” you retort, hand reaching down between the two of you.

His breath catches as your fingers brush against his clothed cock.

“I know you want that,” he pulls your hand away and entwines your fingers. “and you know I do too,” A kiss to your left cheek. “But I had a plan back when we were younger,” he brings your hand to his lips. “and I’ve already had so much taken from us that I’m not letting our first time be taken too.”

Your heart squeezes. He really is the same boy you fell in love with.

“So as much as we both want it, please let me do this, okay?”

You pout, a habit you had formed long ago that usually got you what you wanted from him.

“Please, baby.” The pet name is a gut punch.

 You nod and hold up your pinkie.

“You promise?”

Touya grins wider than you had ever seen and entwines his finger with yours.

“I promise.”

May 17th 2477 Touya: aged twenty-six You: aged twenty-five

-------

ᰔ a/n: NOT PROOFREAD! ohmygosh, this was a long haul. I wrote it and then rewrote it and then rewrote it and so on and so forth till I got here. tiny TINY smut cause i didn’t wanna write a whole ass thing so I might do a one shot of it later. this exhausted me holy- also shout out to billie eilish lmao her entire new album helped me write this mainly chihiro, the greatest and blue but also harry styles' as it was and madds buckley's brother

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

please tell me this manga/comic/show exists i do not wanna have to make it

okok I've posted about this before but I'm watching animation content on youtube again while getting work done and by GOD I WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN

There's a specific concept I want to consume as content/art so badly but it came to me in a stupid dream. BUT. Sometimes, a dream means I DID see a hint of it somewhere and my brain accidentally plagiarized it which provides me with the teensiest sliver of hope that exists already and I don't have to work on it

It's a kind of a reverse isekai, right? But instead of an instant portal, it's time passing. And what I mean by that is that it's a Sun Wukong story, but the branch off is that after the main events of Journey to the West he gets either water temple'd or trapped in magic sleep again, not for a few hundred years but a few THOUSAND.

He wakes up to an incredibly far-flung China that remembers his myth and only his myth.

The art style that operated in this dream was sort of. Textured but 3D? Think nimona's buttery lighting but instead of emphasis on light and shapes to operate with the stained glass and solarpunk-medieval style the models are textured in a way that just invokes traditional brushwork and colour bleed even in a more cyberpunkish setting. Think like. Whenever there's a night scene the astigmatism glow of lamplight bleeds a little, like ink feathering on paper.

It's a little bit of a Steve Rogers treatment in a way, the world has moved past him, but also completely mythologized and capitalized on that mythology. Rather than treat that man out of time narrative as an aspect of backstory, it's the MAIN character narrative, because this ISN'T a world that needs him. This world is doing pretty okay, actually.

This a story about him.

Not about his feats or how cool his powers are or the 8 gajillion things the magic staff can do but just.

How ya doing, bud?

From the vaguely coherent notes that I could garner from my sleepily typed googledoc, it seems that I wanted this to be a love letter of sorts to the Asian diaspora experience? A specific sort of loneliness? Where the world you experience has a sort of disconnect in that it makes plain you belong there but you also don't, you never have, and there's no way to go "back" but going forward feels like groping blind through the muck. How much right to the past does he feel like he has? When it's been built into something he can't recognize and is clearly important to other people.

I want the pickup of the plot to gain him friends, family, maybe even a conflict or two but the stakes should never elevate vis a vis physical enemies to battle.

It'd be about 2/3 of this sort of narrative drawn story and the other 1/3 just hogwild worldbuilding and design

I've looked at a few other journey to the west adaptations but they mainly just use him as a funky lil action figure hero that's there to be cool as hell and save the day

99% likely this is just a thing my brain is made up and I'd need a several million budget and about 25 additional skills to start the ball rolling but hey, worth it to ask yall again

[johnpriceslamb]

heyy is it okay if u maybe due a little story of arthur morgan?? i jus love him sm

arthur comes back to camp after a job in a bad angry mood since it didnt go to plan then the reader (being his sweetheart gf) cheers him up :(🩷 -🎀

𝓐𝓛𝓦𝓐𝓨𝓢 𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 , ˗ˏˋ 🍓 ˎˊ˗

˗ˏˋ꒰ The obvious annoyance which swelled in his stomach almost dies instantly when he makes eye-contact with you. ꒱ ˎˊ˗

BEFORE YOU PROCEED! ┆female ! reader . hyper-fem ! reader . Arthur Morgan is a die-for 4 his sweetheart gf . OOC ! Arthur Morgan . reader is mentioned 2 be physically shorter than character mentioned below . not proof-read . 1.0k wrdz

꒰ arthur morgan x fem ! reader . ꒱

Muddy, wet, icky.

Sweat easily adheres to his already warm skin, rolling down the creases on his forehead and clinging to the ends of his hair. His clothes are attached to his sweat-stained skin, rusty spurrs jingling loudly with the leading sounds of water-filled boots. The sun glares down at him, taunting him even, to make his day even more miserable as it scorches the back of his neck because of the hat; lack thereof- lost from travelling back.

He’ll go find for it soon enough. Just not now.

It’s unlikely for a usual stagecoach robbery to go wrong, he’s done this many times before. Maybe he was starting to feel the effects of ageing. But somehow, things went south a bit too quickly and the man ended up in.. water. With many dead bodies floating around, and cash that wasn’t even worth it at the end.

Just thinking about that whole situation almost makes a vein pop in his head.

A grunt and a low huff escapes his chapped lips when entering the vicinity of the camp. The same water-filled boots squeak each step he took as he storms back to his bed-roll. Everyone knew he was in a bad mood, despite being far away.

Unfortunately for him, someone could not take the hint.

Miss Grimshaw.

“Mister Morgan.” She greets.

“..Miss Grimshaw.” He grunts, wiping the mud off his face just to seem less.. bearable to look at.

The older woman stares down at him for a while, sizing him up with narrowed eyes. “I’ve noticed that you haven’t been putting money in the camps communal funds for a very long time.” She prods at him.

She does not leave any room for him to reply back with just one simple glare. Arthur is smart enough to let out a low sigh and nod at her words mindlessly, not really paying attention. Said-woman sneers at him as she usually does with the others. The sight of the mud coated on his garments caused the wrinkles on her cheek to crease further, furrowing her brows in disdain.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” She flails her arms around, “A grown man covered in crap like this—” Her hand is raised, but with a light tap on her shoulder from behind comes the reluctancy of lowering her hand down to peer whom distracted her.

A meek, soft voice from behind immediately catches his attention, “Miss? Ive finished folding your clothes.”

Her attitude does a huge spin. She’s softer now, bickering to herself before mumbling a ‘thank you, dear.’ You tell her that you’ve set it by her bed-roll, to which she nods and walks away, leaving you with the man whom seemed like he was about to burst from irritation. He swore you were some kind of angel in disguise, how you manage to make her soften up just a bit is beyond his comprehension.

His eyes land on yours. It was almost like a non-verbal way of saying ‘thank you’ from practically losing the beast.

You look up at him with those familiar beady eyes, a small smile etched on your face as you eagerly come closer to him. Almost immediately do you feel the aura he radiated- tired, exhausted, angry.. and most importantly, wants to be comforted.

“Oh, dear..” You pity him akin to a pup getting kicked. The way his muck-covered clothes wiped a bit of grime on yours is something you don’t question, “Are you—

You don’t have time to say your full sentence. He’s grabbed you by the waist and easily pulls you to his tent. A soft squeal escapes your lips at the sudden movements, eyes widening at how quick he was.

And you’re squished to his chest, practically glued to him as he wraps his arms around you. The muck is easily visible on your clean dress, but did you mind? No.

You loosen up in his tight hold, placing your chin on the curve of his neck. Your finger-nails drag up and down on his back, drawing little patterns and shapes. Despite being absolutely humid, Arthur doesn’t let that become an obstacle when being with you.

Your serenade-like voice pulls him back to reality, sleepy eyes staring down at yours.

“Was it that bad?” You unconsciously touch his growing stubble, noting to yourself to cut it later. He leans into the palm of your hand, nodding wordlessly.

“Bad don’t even manage to describe the hell I went through today.” He squishes you tighter like a stuffie. He buries his face in your shoulder, the faint scent of pinewood and cinnamon invading his nose- and gosh was it such an addicting smell. He notices the simple bow you adorned in your hair, and the little bow sewed to your top. He noticed every single thing, despite feeling like he’s about to burst.

Slowly but surely, did the irritation fade away from his stomach as he holds you closely.

“‘M sorry to hear,” You apologised, frowning at the sight of your beloved so worked up. Sometimes, he wondered how the hell you even manage to be apart of this gang, “D’ya wanna talk about it?”

He shakes his head with a low grunt, “Nah. Just wan’ be near you.”

The layers-upon-layers of light pink coloured frills covered his lap as you were plopped on him. He mindlessly fiddles with the pretty design, sighing loudly.

“‘M always here to talk to, y’know?” You press a kiss on his cheek.

“I know.” He sighs, cuddling you closely. You really were an angel.

“I don’t deserve you.” He mumbles quietly. You squint your eyes at his own comments, clearly not like it.

“You do.”

A moment of quiet and peace between the two of you, his hand affectionately squeezes yours as a way to comfort himself more than you.

Suddenly, the realisation hits you.

“..Arthur, think you ‘n’ I needa get a bath after this.”

[valkyrieromanoff]

BED CHEM (18+): JAMES KELLY X READER

summary: James is your neighbor at the trailer park, he sees you washing your trailer, and he offers to help. One hand washes the other, and you find yourself in a pleasant situation.

warnings: sexual content, oral sex (female receiving), semi public sex, porn without plot.

word count: 3.4 k

n/a: after making my dad watch 'American Heist' with me, for no other reason than to be able to watch Hayden Christensen for an hour and a half... I remembered why I have such a huge crush on this man, and poor James, he just wanted to open a mechanic shop, he suffered so much, poor thing.

anyway, I couldn't resist the opportunity to write something self-indulgent, so I hope you like it, comment if you liked it or if you would read a sequel? Kisses 💖

p.s: probably the most obscene thing I've ever written, but I liked it anyway

The sun blazed in a wide expanse of blue, with only a few wisps of clouds drifting lazily overhead. After days of relentless rain that left nothing but thick puddles of mud and a layer of grime clinging to every surface, the clear sky felt like a rare gift. It was the perfect day for a deep clean, to scrub away the muck that had built up around the trailer.

You sighed, glancing at the cluttered mess outside. Your mother had disappeared again, off to deal with whatever trouble your grandmother had stirred up this time, leaving you alone to face the chore. With a reluctant huff, you knew there was no escaping it; the task would fall to you, as always.

Changing into an old white shirt and a pair of faded blue shorts —clothes you didn’t mind soaking —you grabbed the hose and filled a bucket with water. The warmth of the sun kissed your skin as you stepped outside, your feet crunching against the gravel beneath you. You set the bucket down with a small splash and grabbed a sponge, beginning to scrub the window in steady, determined circles.

James lets out a low whistle, his blue eyes sweeping over you with a playful gleam. "Well, would you look at that," he drawls, a slow smile spreading across his face.

"James!" you exclaim, quickly crossing your arms over your chest, caught off guard by his sudden appearance. He must have snuck up on you; you hadn’t even heard him coming. "Do you always have to sneak around like that?"

He chuckles, his gaze never leaving you. "Can't help it, princess. You’re putting on quite a show." He takes a step closer, his lips curling into a grin as he licks them. "Why don’t you let me give you a hand?" His eyes dart to the trailer, where the mess still looms large. "Looks like you could use some help."

You huff, rolling your eyes. "Oh, really? And what do you know about cleaning?" You shoot back, eyeing him skeptically. James’s trailer couldn’t exactly be described as spotless—tidy at best. You can’t even remember the last time he gave it a proper clean; the rusty notes separating his trailer from the others speak for themselves.

He shrugs with a teasing smile. "More than you’d think, princess. And let’s be honest, you’re not gonna clean all this up on your own." He leans in a little closer, lowering his voice. "But I’m not doing it for free. I help you with the trailer, and you owe me one."

Your brow furrows, suspicion evident in your voice. "What kind of favor are we talking about?"

James grins, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Use that imagination of yours."

"I’m not helping you sell drugs, James," you snap, too quickly, not wanting any trouble with the police.

He throws his head back, laughing, his tattooed hand scratching the back of his neck. "Oh, come on, you think I’m that predictable?" He leans in closer, his grin widening. "I was thinking of a different kind of favor."

You feel a flush creep up your cheeks, catching his implication. "I’m not sleeping with you," you declare firmly.

He shrugs, the smug smile still playing on his lips. "Your choice. But just so you know, I can be pretty persuasive." He steps even closer, his voice dropping to a low, teasing rumble. "And who knows, you might even enjoy it."

You chew on your lip, weighing your options. On one hand, you could definitely use the help with the trailer; on the other, making a deal with James Kelly, your older, flirtatious neighbor, seemed like a gamble. But then again, what choice did you have? "Fine," you finally say, meeting his gaze with a challenging look. "Just help me clean the trailer, and I’ll owe you one."

James grins, extending his hand with a playful flourish. "Deal, princess. Let’s make this place sparkle."

You uncross your arms, a smirk tugging at your lips as you bend down to grab a sponge from the bucket of water. Without warning, you fling it right at his chest, soaking his shirt. "Sparkle, huh?" you tease, before turning back to scrubbing the trailer window.

James looks down at the wet sponge now stuck to his chest, then back up at you, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “Well, look at that. Already trying to get me out of my clothes? I like the way you think.”

You roll your eyes, but a small smile tugs at the corners of your mouth despite yourself. “Keep dreaming, James.”

He chuckles, taking the sponge and slowly squeezing out the excess water, droplets trickling down his arm. “Maybe I already am, princess,” he teases, his voice low and suggestive.

He falls in beside you, picking up another sponge and getting to work. Despite his earlier teasing, he starts scrubbing with surprising efficiency, moving in smooth, quick motions. Every now and then, he throws in a wink or a cheeky comment, but he sticks to his word and focuses on the task at hand.

As the minutes pass, the two of you settle into an easy rhythm, working side by side in companionable silence. You have to admit, his help makes a huge difference; the work is going by much faster than you’d expected. And, despite your initial wariness, you find yourself… enjoying his company. There’s something unexpectedly satisfying about watching the trailer transform under your combined efforts, the dirt and grime giving way to a fresh, clean shine.

Maybe it’s the sun, or the unexpected teamwork, but for a moment, you almost forget why you were so hesitant in the first place.

At one point, you were hanging from the tire attached to the back door, cleaning the roof, your breasts pressed firmly against the trailer's frame through your clinging, soaked blouse. From this provocative position, your lush, round ass jutted upwards as you stretched to reach everywhere.

James, who had been cleaning the wheels, froze mid-scrub, releasing a low, appreciative whistle. "Now, that's a sight for sore eyes," he murmured, his gaze fixed and unwavering on your alluring display. He shielded his eyes with a hand, blocking the sun's glare as he continued to drink in the view.

You look over your shoulder at him. “James” you warned, trying to keep the amusement from leaking out of your tone. "Eyes on the wheels, I want them shining."

His smile was unapologetic as he responded, "I can't help it, princess. You're putting on quite the performance up there. I'd be a fool to miss it."

"Pervert." You rolled your eyes, but you couldn't deny the fluttering in your stomach at his words and the hypnotic cadence of his voice. Could these be the butterflies that books talk about so much?

James chuckled, his blue eyes finally returning to the task at hand, alighting on the underside of the trailer. "Guilty as charged, princess. At least I'm honest about it."

**

A while later, you hear James clear his throat below. “Hey, princess? Careful up there. I’d hate to see you fall and hurt yourself.”

You glance down, caught off guard by the unexpected softness in his voice. His usual playful grin is absent, replaced with a look of genuine concern that makes your heart skip a beat. “Oh, right, thanks” you reply quietly, a warmth spreading through you that has nothing to do with the sun beating down on your skin. Maybe there’s more to James Kelly than just the flirty mechanic.

You sit perched on the edge of the trailer roof, hesitating as you look at the ground. It suddenly seems a lot farther down than it did when you climbed up. You bite your bottom lip, a flicker of uncertainty crossing your face.

“Um, James, can you help me down?” You ask shyly, a shiver running down your body as the suds drip down your wet breasts under your blouse, your peaks hard as the suds slide down your thighs. 

James's gaze hungrily devours your disheveled state, and he quickly nods in agreement. “Sure, princess. Just give me a second.”

He tosses the sponge back into the bucket and strides purposefully until he's directly beneath you. "Jump," he instructs, stretching out his arms. "I'll catch you."

You hesitate for a moment, biting your bottom lip, before taking a deep breath and stepping away from the roof of the trailer. James catches you easily, his firm, tattooed arms wrapping around you, holding you against his chest. He keeps you pressed against his body, and you can't help but feel the hardness pressing against your belly.

He sets you down gently, but his arms linger, his eyes dark with desire as they meet yours. "Are you okay, princess?" he asks in a hoarse voice.

You nod, unable to speak as you stare at him, your heart pounding. He leans in closer, his lips inches from yours. You can feel the warmth of his breath on your face, and you lean in as well, eager to taste his lips.

But as he's about to kiss you, he abruptly pulls away, a wry smile on his face. "I told you I could be persuasive," he says, releasing you and taking a step back.

You blink, surprised and embarrassed by his sudden withdrawal. "W-what?" you stammer.

He turns back to the trailer, flashing you a nonchalant grin. "Nothing, princess. Let's get back to cleaning."

Your cheeks burn, though you can’t tell if it’s from the relentless sun or the shame of almost getting caught staring at James's lips, imagining what it would feel like to kiss him. Your thoughts are a jumbled mess, your heart pounding with a mix of embarrassment and something else you don't want to admit. You turn back to the task at hand, scrubbing the trailer window with renewed intensity, channeling all your frustration and confusion into making the glass spotless.

You can feel James’s gaze on you, a quiet heat that only makes your pulse race faster. The air seems thicker somehow, the sun hotter, and you focus on the steady, rhythmic motion of your hand against the glass, willing yourself to ignore him.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs softly, his voice carrying over the sound of the water splashing against the trailer.

You freeze, your breath catching in your throat. Your cheeks flush deeper, and you feel your heart hammering against your ribs. You risk a glance over your shoulder, catching the look in his eyes—intense, sincere, with a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips.

The unexpected compliment sends a flutter through your chest, and you swallow hard, trying to steady your nerves. You force a smile, though your voice wavers slightly as you respond, “You’re not so bad yourself, James.”

He grins wider, clearly amused by your flustered reaction. “That so, princess?”

You roll your eyes, trying to regain your composure. “I meant your help,” you add quickly, turning back to the window. But you can’t quite shake the feeling that, for a moment, he’d seen right through you —to the thoughts you’d been trying so hard to hide.

"This scorching New Orleans sun doesn’t give you a break," you complain, the sweat glistening on your forehead, a testament to the unyielding heat that envelops you like a suffocating blanket. You feel as if you're a lump of ice melting under the oppressive, steamy air, and you can't help but loathe the climate in this state.

Seeking respite from the incessant heat, you grab the hose, lifting it over your head, and let the cool water cascade over your body. The water clings to your skin, your clothes molded to your curves like a second skin, leaving little to the imagination. Your breasts, heaving with each breath, are clearly visible through the wet fabric, while the shorts cling to the lush curves of your ass.

James's eyes widen as he takes in the sight, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows hard, the desire in his eyes unmistakable. "Fuck, princess. You're killing me here," he murmurs, his voice thick with lust.

You look up at him, a coy smile playing on your lips, your eyes sparkling with mischief. "Am I?" you tease, allowing the water to trickle down your shirt, tracing the lines of your breasts and hips, eliciting a low groan from James.

He runs a hand through his dark, damp hair, his face flushed with desire. "Yes, you fucking are," he states, taking a step closer to you. "You know what you're doing to me, don't you?"

You tilt your head to the side, feigning innocence, your eyes flickering with a hint of playfulness. "I have no idea what you're talking about, James," you lie, biting your lip to keep from smiling.

James's patience snaps, and he reaches up, his fingers wrapping around your wrist and pulling you roughly against his body. "Didn't anyone teach you that lying is bad, princess?" he growls, his voice a low rumble that sends shivers down your spine.

You gasp as you feel his hardness pressing into you once more, the sensation intoxicating. James takes advantage of your open mouth, crushing his lips to yours in a hungry, demanding kiss. You surrender to him, kissing him back fiercely, your bodies pressed tightly together. In the midst of this passionate embrace, you lose your grip on the hose, allowing it to slip from your fingers and clatter to the gravel below.

James grabs your neck from behind to deepen the kiss, his tongue meeting yours, you gasp at the sensation, his other hand coming down to grip your waist. You moan against his mouth, your body arching into his as his hand on your waist slides down to cup your ass, pulling you even closer. His thumb hooks into the waistband of your shorts, tracing the edge of your panties and sending shivers down your spine.

He breaks the searing kiss, his lips trailing a torturous path down your jaw and along the sensitive skin of your neck. He nips and sucks, each touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake. "Fuck, princess," he growls, his voice a husky rumble. "You taste so good."

You tilt your head back, offering him full access to your vulnerable neck, your body writhing against his in an urgent, desperate need for more. "James," you gasp, your hands clawing at the muscles of his back. "Please..."

He groans, his hand sliding lower, his fingers pressing against the front of your shorts, the thin fabric the only barrier between him and your needy core. "Please what, princess?" he whispers, his finger teasing you, rubbing in slow, maddening circles. "Use your words," 

"Touch me," you beg, your eyes fluttering shut as you're consumed by the swell of pleasure. "Please, touch me."

The air is thick with the heady scent of lust, and the tension between you both is palpable, begging for release. James's fingers tease you mercilessly, prolonging your agony as he decides to what extent he'll indulge you. The anticipation is as much a part of the pleasure as the touch itself, leaving you trembling and needy.

He chuckles, a low, carnal sound that sends shivers down your spine as he unbuttons your shorts with practiced ease. His hand slides inside, gently pushing your panties aside to reveal your bare, wet flesh. His fingers brush against you, eliciting a soft moan from your parted lips.

“Like that, princess?” he asks, his voice dripping with seduction as he slides a finger into your slick, heated core. You cry out, the sudden invasion making your knees buckle. James reacts quickly, wrapping his arm around your waist, steadying you as he continues to pump his finger in and out of your quivering depths.

His thumb circles your clit, adding another layer of pleasure to the sensory overload. “Yeah, just like that,” you sigh, your hips undulating in response to his skilled touch. “Oh God, James, yes…” 

He claims your mouth in another searing kiss, his tongue dueling with yours as he devours your moans. You’re at his mercy, your body responding to his every touch. He adds a second finger to the first, stretching you and increasing your pleasure, each thrust bringing you closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy.

 Suddenly, he pulls his hand away, leaving you breathless and aching. Your eyes fly open, confusion etched across your face as you stare up at him. “Why did you stop?” you ask, your voice thick with desire. James’s smile is both wicked and knowing, his eyes filled with the promise of more pleasure to come.

He grins wickedly at you, licking his fingers clean, his eyes gleaming with desire. "Because, princess, I want to taste you when you cum," he explains, his voice a sultry rumble. Without warning, he drops to his knees in front of you, the swift motion of pulling your shorts and panties down leaving you momentarily breathless.

You're too stunned to protest as his face buries itself between your legs, his talented tongue delving deep into your slick folds. A moan escapes your lips, and you find your fingers instinctively tangling in his hair as he maneuvers one of your legs over his shoulder, gaining a better angle to feast upon you.

James grips your thighs, holding you steady as his tongue explores every inch of your wet, quivering core. He sucks and licks with relentless passion, each movement pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your breath comes in short, frantic gasps as you grind against his face, the pleasure building to a crescendo.

"James, oh god, James, I'm gonna cum," you moan, your fingers digging into his hair, holding him in place as you're on the brink of release. He growls against your sensitive flesh, the vibrations sending shivers down your spine and sending you careening over the edge. You cry out, your body convulsing as waves of ecstasy crash over you.

James doesn't let up, continuing to lavish attention on your spent form, his tongue and lips teasing you until you're writhing and pleading for mercy. The sensation has become too much, your nerves electrified from the intensity of his ministrations. Finally, he stands, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, a satisfied grin on his face.

"Delicious," he murmurs, pulling you into a searing kiss, allowing you to taste the sweet evidence of your pleasure on his lips. You melt into him, your arms wrapping around his neck as you return the kiss, still riding the high of your orgasm. When you finally pull away, you rest your forehead against his, your eyes closed as you catch your breath.

"That was... intense," you whisper, a small, satisfied smile gracing your lips. James chuckles, his fingers gently brushing a damp strand of hair from your face. 

"That was just the beginning, princess," he promises in a low, dangerous voice. "We're just getting started."

It takes you a few moments to collect your thoughts, the intensity of the moment leaving you slightly dazed. You're grateful for the early hour and the fact that your neighbors aren't home, the knowledge adding a thrilling layer to the already sensual encounter. You pull your panties and shorts up, a soft moan escaping your lips as the fabric brushes against your still-sensitive flesh.

You turn to James, your voice husky from the recent pleasure. "Thanks for helping," you mumble, grabbing the bucket and sponge, your movements slightly unsteady. You walk past him, your hips swaying in a way that you're sure doesn't go unnoticed, and enter your trailer.

James watches you go, a mix of confusion and frustration etched on his face. He runs a hand through his hair, muttering a curse under his breath. "Well, fuck it," he says to himself, his gaze sweeping over the now-clean trailer. With a shake of his head, he gathers his belongings and heads back to his own trailer, leaving you to ponder the unexpected turn of events.

As he walks away, he calls out, his voice carrying in the quiet morning air, "See you around, princess!"

You don't respond, leaning against the door you've just closed, your heart pounding in your chest. What had just happened? You hadn't intended for things to go this far, but somehow, James had a way of making you lose control. You take a deep breath, trying to calm your racing thoughts. You knew you needed to figure out what you were going to do about James Kelly.

One thing was certain: he wouldn't leave you alone any time soon, and the anticipation of the future interactions left a tantalizing tingle in your core.

[agoodflyting]

Why Aziraphale's White Satin Pumps Are Ridiculous (And I love them)

So this is a continuation of the lengthy rant I posted here about Aziraphale's outfit in the Bastille scene of GO and all the ways it would have pissed people in Revolutionary Paris off. I got to the shoes and realized they needed their own post.

Aziraphale's Blessed Little White Satin Pumps

To recap: in 1793, Paris is in control of The People, who are making up for decades of oppression and poverty by beheading the fuck out of everyone remotely nobility-adjacent. And into this mess strolls one Angel in white satin heels.

Some facts about this style of shoe:

The buckle means they're specifically court shoes as opposed to streetwear. Buckles were out of fashion unless you were hanging out with royalty and needed to look fancy. Everyday shoes had laces by this point.

This heel style for men is specifically called Louis Heels because they were popularized by Louis XVI. Y'know... the king Paris just beheaded in 1793. Here's a pair in a similar style from the late 18th century:

One big difference you may notice in Aziraphale's shoes and the ones above is that the ones above are normal, practical leather whereas Aziraphale is wearing white satin shoes. This is because Aziraphale is ridiculous.

The Allure of White Satin Shoes

In this modern world of laundry machines and affordable shoes I feel that people do not fully understand how absolutely over-the-top ridiculous a pair of white satin shoes would be to people in 1793.

First off lets address the fact that they're white:

If you have ever known anyone who was super into sneakers, you know that keeping white shoes white is a full-time job. It was even more so in the 18th century. The fact that Aziraphale is wearing perfectly clean white shoes says one thing: "I am rich enough to be able to pay someone to clean these, and to replace them when they invariably get stained."

And they would get stained. Oh would they get stained.

Because he is not wearing them for their intended function - lazing around indoors. No, he is wearing them on the streets of 18th Century Paris. And 18th Century Paris was fucking disgusting.

Kind of like how London had its famed London Smog, Paris had its own brand of filth. A unique Parisian muck made up of mixtures of mud, offal from the slaughterhouses, animal waste, human waste, household garbage, and rotting dead animals, all mashed down into what a British visitor called, "A thick, black, unctuous oil, that where it sticks no art can wash it off."

Voltaire said: "We blush with shame to see the public markets, set up in narrow streets, displaying their filth, spreading infection, and causing continual disorders…" and called Paris a city, "Partly of gold and partly of muck."

This is a city with over a million people, with no central plumbing, and no public sanitation laws. Households threw their waste in the streets. Businesses like tanneries and slaughterhouses threw their waste right out into the streets. Horses were the main mode of transportation and nobody was cleaning up after them. It was apparently a thriving hustle that Parisian beggars would hang out in the worst areas with big pieces of wood, and charge wealthy people money to walk on the board over the worst puddles of filth.

That's where Aziraphale is wearing his pristine little white satin shoes. In a city so gross it has its own world-renowned stinking black mud.

And on the subject of those shoes, lets look at the satin part... By the 18th Century, France was no longer dependent on Asia for its silk and satin. There was domestic production, but it was still expensive. A book about the cost of living published in London in 1770 lists the price for a single yard of satin at just over 18 shillings. For comparison, here are some other things you could get for 18 shillings in London at the time:

two box seats at Covent Garden

six barrels of oysters

a really nice wig

a week's wages for a skilled tradesman

15 steak dinners

3 secondhand coats So the outer fabric alone on Aziraphale's shoes cost what it would take a skilled worker about a week to make. Again, that's just for the fabric. Since the shoes themselves were high quality, would be handmade, and required skilled labor, the shoes themselves would be expensive even without the satin. In 1788 a pair of leather gentleman's court shoes cost about 6 livres in France. By comparison, a pound of bread, which was considered a day's food for a peasant, cost roughly 10 sous. So we'll roughly estimate that Aziraphale's shoes without the satin cost the equivalent of 12 days worth of food for an average person.

And, I cannot stress this enough, he is wearing these white shoes, which could easily feed an entire family for weeks, in a city that is abso-fucking-lutely filthy with stinking, staining, sticky mud.

Aziraphale's shoes, probably:

I mean - imagine you're a normal everyday French peasant during the Revolution. You spend decades struggling to feed your family, and some dingbat walks up to you in white court shoes styled after the king you just executed. Shoes that cost more than you make in a month, which he is wearing around your notoriously filthy city with apparently 0 fucks given for the fact that they will be absolutely ruined and will have to be thrown away. (Obviously Aziraphale could just miracle them clean but you're a revolutionary peasant, you don't know that.)

And then this walking audacity asks you for cake.

Aziraphale, hon, you are so lucky they decided to try to execute you and not just like. jump your dumb ass in an alley and steal your pretty little white satin shoes.

[ambermotta]

Protection Magic: Some Important Concepts

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Long post based on my experience and research. Meant to be informative. I don't claim to know the absolute truth.

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Protection magic is any type of work meant to protect A from B, and there are many ways that this can be done: prayers, charms, talismans, tokens, casting circles, setting up wards, visualization. The list can go on and on because it can be done in many different ways and combining many different methods.

But methods are not the topic of this post today. No, today I would like to talk about some key concepts to keep in mind before getting started on making protections and keeping them effective.

The Importance of Cleansing

Before doing any protection work I like to do a cleansing. Imagine you have an open water bottle, and because it was open, a lot of dirt has found its way into it over time. You decide to seal the bottle so no dirt comes in, but you don't pour out the old water, so you end up sealing it in. Yes, you'll keep more dirt from coming in, but the muck is still there.

It is easier to see this being applied to a physical location, but I personally also apply this to personal protective tokens. I feel they work better when you are taking care of your energies by doing regular cleanses and managing internal negativity.

Important Definitions

Protection ≠ Banishing ≠ Cleansing

I feel a lot of people are under the impression that these are all the same. I think they all work together towards a similar goal, but their jobs are different.

Protection: protecting something from something

Banishing: driving out entities

Cleansing: clearing out energy

You can do cleansing, banishing, and protection at the same time, but that doesn't mean they are the same. You can do a ritual including all of them, but you can also just do a cleansing or just do warding (which is a form of protection).

Note: cleansing is not restricted to “negative energy”. You can cleanse any kind of energy. Exemple: a friend of yours decides tarot is not for them and hands down their deck to you. If you wanna work with that deck it is highly advisable that you do a thorough cleansing of it and then infuse it/consecrate it with the energies you want. It's not that your friend has “bad” energy, it's just that you might not want to work with the same energies they have, or use a tool that has someone else's energy in it.

Not Necessarily a Lazy Job

One important thing with protection magic is that no matter how strong or how successful are at doing it is that it is not failproof. I have yet to see protection work that lasts forever, and there may be a few reasons for it.

Negativity also comes from within

Imagine you have a fish inside an open fish tank. Just like the bottle example earlier, you decide to put a lid on so you prevent leaves from falling into the tank and polluting the water. However, there's a fish, a living being in there, and it produces waste. It is impossible for the fish to live without producing waste. If you don’t regularly clean the water, ammonia and fecal matter will build up.

In this analogy, you are the fish. I am the fish. Humans literally cannot live without ever having a negative thought or feeling, it is part of our existence and we have to live with it. No one lives in constant bliss.

That doesn't mean we have to live in the muck though. That's why cleansing yourself is important.

No one is immune to the environment

Here I have another analogy for you. Imagine you're facing a harsh winter, but you are safe in the security and warmth of your house. Your house is protected from the cold so you don't even mind it. However, you have to go outside. You dress up, go out and you feel very, very cold. You could perhaps wear something warmer, but it will never feel the same as home. Yet it is better than going outside naked, no?

Same thing for energies. You can have protection, but depending on how strong the energy in the environment is you are sure to feel it to at least some degree. However it's best to have some protection than no protection at all.

And there is a difference between Feeling an energy and dwelling in it vs Feeling an energy and not letting it latch onto you.

Energy can wear off, and new energy can build up

Energy is ever changing, ever moving. If you do a strong protection spell once, it can last for a long while, but if you forget about it it will likely lose a lot of its strength over time. Some of what you put out there might wear off and be substituted by something else. The energy can also grow stale, which means it becomes less effective.

But if you do a strong spell every month you will not only make your protections stronger, but also constantly renew the energies and not let them stagnate.

So keep doing cleanses and every now and then give a boost to your protections so they are refreshed and recharged.

Note on "Negative Energy"

One of the main reasons someone might choose to do a protection ritual and a cleansing is to ward off negative energy. But is that really needed? What is "negative energy"?

Negative energy might feel like a sense of heaviness, dread, pain, sadness, feeling ill, angry, sad or anxious. Emotions produce and attract what we can call "negative energy", the same way it can make us feel those things.

And while I personally think nobody wants to feel them, we must understand they are not always bad at their core.

The uncomfortable feelings they can cause may also be a gateway for healing and transformation. Pain tells us there is something that needs to be worked on, that needs change.

If you are feeling negative, ask yourself why. Why does this bother me? What makes me feel this way? What can I learn from this pain?

If you happen to feel negative energy, it is good to cleanse and protect. But I advise you to always look for the source to see what can be done about it or what you can learn from it. Don't just try to use spellcasting to run away from your shit. Own your shit. Deal with it.

Otherwise, it will keep coming back no matter how much protection you have.

Conclusion

It is impossible to always be free from “negative energy” all the time, no matter how strong your protections are. But protections can absorb some of the blows that you would otherwise take and ease the ones you were going to take no matter what.

Protection magic alone will not solve all your problems. It is a great tool to help you keep your center and remain grounded, but it is not usually something you do once and forget. It is a continuous, ever evolving work, meant to be used in conjunction with other types of spellwork.

And most importantly, it can give you some comfort through the many trials of life.

Thank you for reading, and good luck on your path! ♡

[iceiceicecold]

What Your Favorite Band of Brothers character says about you (revamped and based on personal experiences)

Winters- You’re either a pretty level headed person or your life is in complete shambles and you find comfort in characters that know how to handle stress.

Nixon- You love a good self destructive character and more than likely see yourself in them. Also, how is your undiagnosed mental illness treating u lately?

Lipton- You just want to be held and cared for so bad it’s not even funny anymore.

Speirs- You most DEFINITELY read wattpad stories as a kid. The mafia kind. You’re also unnecessarily horny on the internet and probably say he’s “Lana-coded.”

Roe- You love a good tragic and tortured character, I’ll give you that. You also listen to boygenius and love religious imagery.

Babe- I’m gonna take a wild guess and say you’re on some type of lgbt or autism spectrum.

Liebgott- You have a really weird self-confidence complex and read a LOT of enemies to lovers. I’m lowkey scared of you even though you’ve probably never hit anyone in your life.

Webster- You’re an artist at heart and view the world in a way that might set you apart from your peers. You can never and will never tell if that’s a good or a bad thing. Also you call grown men “babygirl.”

Guarnere- You have TERRIBLE taste in men and can never tell the difference between being mean or flirting.

Toye- Ditto ^ but also may I add you probably have a thing for people in uniform.

Buck- You are a very simple person. You like everything to just be kind of normal and calm all of the time. Sometimes you dip your toes in the water, but it’s more of a once a year kind of thing. Your favorite superhero as a kid was Captain America.

Luz- You are just cool. Very Ferris Beuller, Bill and Ted, Matthew Lillard kind of cool. You’re also probably transmasc or into guys to some degree.

Shifty- You’re either one of those “omg smol bean” people or you just love a good ray of sunshine kind of character. Your favorite pony as a kid was probably Fluttershy.

Malarkey- I’m so deeply upset just looking into your eyes dawg you need to take a nap and book a therapy session. Not a single one of you guys is completely and totally stable.

Renee- You so desperately wanted this show to pass the bechdel test and wished more women were included in the production. You’re also into women.

Perconte- You’re either really cool or you’re really annoying. No inbetween.

Bull- You really liked the SNL “Big Boy” skit with SZA

Muck- You want to be the funny friend so bad and you’re still not sure if you’ve earned that title yet. Mad respect though bc I know ur ass has seen supernatural in full. More than once.

Welsh, Penkala, Spina, Talbert, Grant, Martin, Penkala, Hoobler, Skinny- Either you’re lying to be different or you genuinely love a good underrated background character.

Blithe- Mm you’re lying lol

Sobel- Hey, girl! What the fuck!

[just-some-random-blogger]

Bright Eyes | 1

Part 2

Prince Aemond's marriage was borne out of necessity and political advantage. Let it never be said that he did not know duty, for duty was what kept Aemond Targaryen grounded. But in truth, the prince felt cheated by the match, for he felt his wife was getting scraps as her dowry. After all, she was chosen for him because of her family's wealth and resources. It was then rather scandalous when the icy prince became temperate to his bride.

Aemond Targaryen x Reader | 2k+ | cw: fem!reader, arranged marriage au, smut (virginity loss, vaginal penetration), reluctant lovers ig, typos, etc.

A/N: HIIII THIS IS PART OF THE HOUSE OF THE DRAGON BIG BANG CELEBRATION 🎉🎉🎉 I split mine into 3 parts but I can only post the other 2 parts here on Tumblr after the whole event has ended to respect and give way for the other submissions. It will be available on AO3 to read though so yeah! Thank you so much to the love of my life @ewanmitchellcrumbs for making the art for me (and in such short notice too cos my artist unfortunately deactivated their Tumblr). I'm so luv youuuu Also i haven't written anything for hotd in a while so i don't remember who I'm supposed to tag so kejhshs surprise! And enjoy ig!!! HIHIHI

Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx @delicious-xx @deniixlovezelda @targaryenmoony @risefallrise @slavyanskiyahui @thebullship @sa3losa

"Perhaps," I extend a hand to him, "you ought to hold my hand."

Aemond straightens from where he stood, lone eye darting from his feet, to my hand, to my face. He finds offence in this offer, a line threatens to dig deep between his brows.

"The-" I trail off and look away, my gloved hand, however, does not retreat, "-terrain is quite bumpy." I look back to him expectantly, "I know the land well. It would be easier for me to lead you through-"

"Then lead me," Aemond cuts, both hands going behind him, "skip the fussing."

I purse my lips and watch him for a moment.

The wind strengthens. It blows past me yet I do not move with it, even with my thick dress pulling me back. In contrast, Aemond shuffles in his spot, his coat catching the gush of wind and his hair raking his skin. I had offered to braid Aemond's hair to keep it out of his face and he said he could manage because what was the breeze on a meadow compared to the ripping air at the back of a dragon?

He realizes meadow was too kind a term for this patch of land I was showing him. It was a hellscape, not lush or flowery like a meadow at all. The field stretched out to a cliff, and below it laid viscous waves that added to the horrible weather.

I nod and bring my hands to my skirts instead, "please watch your step. A few more paces, we'll reach the area that has many-"

Aemond grunts when he steps on a hidden divot. His heel digs into the mushy surface and he nearly twists his ankle.

I whip my head back and look at him, finally completing my thought, "-holes in the ground."

He clenches his jaw and yanks his foot out of the muck. I silently turn away and continue walking.

The prince mumbles to himself as he follows me.

Finally, I reach the top of the slope. I situate myself atop a rock and look down at the land. I clasp my hands together as I feel the man walk up beside me. I make it a point to really just let the silence simmer, to let him take in the view, though in truth, there really wasn't much of it. It was just-

"Dirt as far as the eye can see."

I turn to Aemond when he says this.

"How good," he purses his lips and brings his hands behind him, "I've always wanted a hill of dirt all for myself."

I slowly step down from the rock and lift my eyes up to my husband-to-be.

"Vhagar might even like it," he says, lone eye scrutinizing me then the land, which was part of my dowry.

It was the worst pickings from my family, that much was clear. But with my three older brothers set to inherit much of my house's estate, I couldn't really complain, after all, I was the youngest... and a woman.

Aemond, of course, would do the complaining, as he has been.

"I am glad to hear that, my prince," I offer a smile.

The look Aemond gives me is one of astonishment. I can practically make out how his covered eye widened underneath his eye patch. He mutters under his breath, "gods, she's fucking thick."

I pretend I don't hear it and follow after the man when he begins to walk away.

The long haired blonde struggles yet again against the uneven terrain. I no longer make the mistake of offering my assistance. For his sake, or perhaps my own, I leave a good distance between the two of us, so that if he were to topple, even if I did instinctively reach out to him again, he would be too far to reach.

I mirror his steps, right leg moving only after his did. Of course, I did not step in the holes and bumps that were so obvious to me. Still, I tail him diligently.

This was why I froze when he turned back and scowled at me.

"What are you doing?" asks the prince with furrowed brows.

I part my lips, "I-"

"Come here," he reaches out, "I have things to discuss with you."

My eyes turn to his extended hand. I look at his large, ruddy palm and feel my belly swirl in reaction. Apprehensively, I place my hand in his, and he rather discourteously snags me close to him. It nearly costs me my balance, but I'm glad it doesn't.

I watch as Aemond links our arms together before he walking off. My eyes dart from his bicep to his profile. I take in the shape of his nose and think about how our children would inherit it. I press my lips into a line at the thought.

"Our marriage is that of convenience," he turns to me, "and duty."

When Aemond does not continue, I tighten my lips together and nod.

He looks away and walks at a slower pace, "we are to be married in a few days time, and after that, you will no longer belong to your house, you will belong to mine," I notice how his expression hardens, "you will belong to me."

"I understand this," I retort.

He tilts his head, "do you?"

I nod, "I do," I tighten my grip on his arm, "my whole life I have been groomed to be the perfect wife. Once I am yours, everything that I am will be for you."

Aemond's face is blank when he looks at me, and yet I can tell he wishes me to clarify.

So I do, "I will be your wife, your princess, the lady of your house, the mother of your children. I am for you... and you for me."

"Mmm," he looks away and adjusts my grip on him. He loosens it, "yes."

For a moment, we both simply walk on the rocky ground.

Aemond draws a deep breath and turns his head to gaze upon the façade of what would be his castle after our marriage. It was a shabby little thing, run down and without servants, but it was situated in a strip of land that would prove to be beneficial if, say, war came.

"Your father is character," Aemond starts, "a rather ambitious man, wouldn't you agree?"

"He is," I chew my lip, "if he could, he'd take the stars and put them on his walls."

The prince hums, "do you share in his ambition?"

"I-"

He squeezes my arm. He throws a look, as if displeased that I would answer so quickly.

I raise my brows, retaining what I meant to answer, though saying it much slower than I would have, "I have no other ambition than to be a dutiful bride. My ambition is your ambition."

Aemond does not respond nor speak up until we make it back to the carriage.

There, both our mothers are waiting, both equally pleased by our return.

"There they are," my mother says with a smile, "I trust you enjoyed your stroll, my prince."

Aemond eyes my mother as he breaks away from me to walk over to his. Queen Alicent smiles at his son and brushes the hair that was flying to his face.

"The walk was too aggravating to be enjoyed. There was not a single patch of leveled ground," the prince say, "I doubt even sheep would enjoy it here."

I play off my agitation while my mother laughs, "you needn't worry about the ground being level, prince Aemond. You'll have peasants to do that for you."

I walk towards my mother when she reaches out to me. She smiles and takes my hand, "come, my daughter. Today will be your last day as my baby."

I lock gazes with Aemond as my mother kisses my temple.

I feel embarrassment creep up my cheeks.

The honest truth was, I don't remember what happened between that moment and when my husband was undoing the back of my dress. I vaguely remember the wedding, sharing dances with my brothers, with Aemond's brothers, with Helaena. I can recall King Viserys retiring early because of his headache, but then again, he did this often, so it could simply be a memory from another day.

All I know was that Aemond's fingers were hard, hot, and nimble. What would have taken me ages to take off my dress, he did so in a few seconds. I do my best not to breathe heavily, but even though I was not facing him, I couldn't seem to keep from heaving.

It was quite dark. The few candles that were lit did not really help in illuminating the room, but that did not make the idea of being naked in front of a man any easier for me.

My hammering heart commanded my eyes shut as the feverish dragon stripped me bare before him. I swear his touch burned my shivering skin as he slowly revealed my body to himself. I feel him brush his palms down my arms as he pulled my dress down my shoulders. Soon enough my entire body prickled as my shift dropped to my feet.

I cover my breasts with my arm and block my sex with my hand.

"Would you like to undress me, wife?" he mutters.

I feel the hair on the back of my neck raise when I feel his hot breath hit my skin. It was such a plainly worded question, yet it made me want to jump out of the window.

I slowly turn my head, opening my eyes to steal a look of him from over my shoulder. I don't know why, but I say, "yes."

The fact was I didn't. I didn't want to undress him. I would like to think it was quite apparent with how I slowly turned and apprehensively uncovered myself to be able to undress him.

I did not know why I was so shocked that he was unabashedly eyeing my body. I did not know why I was so shocked when his hands reached out to my waist, when his fingers pressed into my flesh, and his nails left marks on my skin. I let out a squeak and fidgeted with his shirt as he did so.

He only releases me when I pull his top off. I step out of my shift, bunched by my ankles, and walk closer to him to undo his breeches. I do not look at his face once, but I know he is still looking at me.

Once his ties were loose, I ghost my fingertips by his waistband, uncertain and hesitant of what to do next.

Recognizing this, he takes my wrists, but he freezes the next moment, clearly not expecting me to do what I did next.

I kissed him. I tilted my head and pressed my lips against his. It was chaste-- probably how I kissed him when we were proclaimed man and wife, but gods did it make my body burn.

I lick my lips after pulling away. I think about clutching his face, and so I do. I reach out to his cheeks and shift on my toes, leaning in for another peck.

I whimper when he pulls me flush against his chest. The contrast of my softer, colder body on his leaner, warmer one was something welcome. Apart from his hands tugging me close, it was like his very essence was drawing me into him.

We do not break our kiss even as he pushes me towards the bed, not even as I topple back and land on the mattress. There is a desperation in his kisses, as if the act of ending it would cause him harm.

He guides me underneath him. He parts my legs and makes room for himself between them. He rubs against me, and it is then I am reminded that I had failed to strip him fully naked. He immediately moves to remedy this, which is then when he pulls away.

When he does so, he rips at his trousers, hell-bent on freeing himself in as little time as possible.

Aemond gets on his knees and gracelessly pulls his remaining clothing off. It may have been dark but I could see him. I could see all of him now. It made my core pulse with excitement, dread, anticipation, and apprehension all at once.

I sigh when he sinks down and presses against me. He kisses me again and I feel his hardened length press against my belly.

I mold my body against him, curling myself in a way that fit snug with his form. I bring my thighs against his hips and feel encouraged when his hand squeeze and pull them closer to him.

He breaks our kiss to draw in a much needed breath and the haze that built in my mind grows thicker when Aemond begins to trail his lips down my jaw and neck. My nails find their way to his spine when he begins to buck his hips into me.

My skin prickles and my heart pounds when he whispers something into my ear. I did not know what he said, but I was certain it was High Valyrian. I was also somehow certain it had something to do with the way I felt.

Aemond hums and sinks his nose behind my ear. I whimper in response, arms tightening around him. I embrace him like I did not intend to let him go, and it truth, I really didn't.

"You make such pretty sounds for me."

I feel embarrassment creep up my cheeks. I am glad he does not see it.

I make another sound when I feel Aemond's hand trail between my thighs. We both hiss when his fingers find my sensitive center.

He pushes himself up on one arm and lifts his body. Aemond grabs himself and makes me yelp when he rubs his cock against my folds. It was then I realized how wet I've become. 

He does this for a while. He coats himself with my dampness. He continues until I feel my body drip with sweat and arousal, until the arm keeping him up tires, and then I feel him slowly push into me.

When he does so, he sinks down and fits into me oh-so perfectly. The intrusion was not at all uncomfortable, in fact, it made my belly burn with need.

I find myself kissing the crook of his neck as he laid atop me. I feel him sigh in response.

"Please," I whisper, thighs rubbing against him, "I need more."

Aemond wastes no time in attending to my plea.

I mewl when he begins to thrust his hips. His movements are short and tight; he barely pulls out. He continues like this then changes pace when he grabs the back of my knees and pushes them close to my ribs. His movements grow bolder, more deliberate and harder.

He, himself, makes pretty sounds as he moves into me. 

I feel sweat begin to build on my skin. I feel a pressure begins to tighten in me.

"Take my seed like a dutiful wife," he kisses my jaw, "I'll put a dragon in you."

My back arches, "Aemond."

"I wish to see you full of me," his one hand comes up to my breast and squeezes it, "I wish to fill you with me."

"P-please fill me," I respond with a shaky voice.

Aemond grunts, "I will."

My heart nearly stops when I feel burning pleasure break into me. My mouth releases the remaining air in my lungs as it calls out my husband's name.

Aemond makes gutteral noises as his movements grow rough and eventually stop.

I bury my face into his shoulder and catch my breath. Aemond follows suit but takes only a few breaths before lifting himself up and rolling off me.

He brings my legs together and covers my form with a blanket. I tense when he stands and walks off, feeling a panic come over me when he disappears. It only intensifies when he does not come back quickly.

I am about to sit up but then I freeze when I see him walk over to me. He is now clothed and had something in his hand.

"Clean yourself up," he places something on the bedside table, "you will not enjoy it when you wake," he turns to me, "I suggest you get dressed as well. You are rather cold."

I feel my body burn as Aemond walks off, circling the bed, coming under the sheets on his side.

I do as he says, slowly pushing the blanket off, feeling a chill run down my spine when my bare feel touch the cold ground. I stand and see that there was a wash basin on the table, as well as a towel.

I take in a deep breath and wipe myself down with warm water that was prepared for me. Once I was done, I examine the floor and pick up my shift. I put it on and put out the candles. 

I climb into bed and do my best not to touch Aemond. My voice breaks when I call out, "good night."

He does not respond so I tell myself he was asleep. It takes a while for me to do the same.

[kinjedl]

A new migrant's perspective on how Tumblr works

So, basically, how Tumblr works is this:

We are all, all of us, in a series of caves. Some of the inhabitants of the caves have dug little holes or access routes to the surface, where strange things like blue tweeting birds dwell. Some of us have fled here from a site the alien rules, and a few of us are splitting our time between their weirdly bright and shining domes and our comfy moss-covered holes.

From within your cave, you can dig tunnels. Some people choose to dig tunnels up to the top of other peoples' caves just to observe. Occasionally they might sneak down and steal a choice morsel to drag back to their own hoard, sometimes they just observe. Some tunnels don't lead to the caves owned by other individuals, but instead to dumping grounds where people shove copies of things that they think are related to a single topic. There's no actual rules to that, per-se, it's just a sortve rule by collective consensus about what kinds of things should go in that cave. Sometimes things get shoved in there which don't really belong, but that's fine too.

Some people cultivate their caves to reflect their own specific sets of interest - maybe their hoard has a theme, a motif, a genre. Some people just grab whatever looks shiny and show it off to whoever comes by to look.

When you find something that's interesting, you can - and should - grab it and run back to your cave and put it on display. As everyone knows, piracy isn't stealing, since it makes a copy, so the original is left untouched. That's how things spread down here. There's no real pacing to it, so sometimes someone will make a thing, show it off, and no one will notice that it's there until later, at which point it might take off running through the caves as everyone grabs a copy. Sometimes it does that in fits and starts. Sometimes it hits a particularly nutrient rich patch of the caves and grows way out of control, far beyond its original creator's intentions. Like a slime mold that hit a big ol batch of protozoa. The slime mold thing is probably more accurate than it should be.

The point isn't the spread, though. Tumblr works opposite of how most other big content sites like Facebook and Reddit and Twitter work. In all of those, the point is to yell at the top of your lungs and get as many people to hear you. If you can't get enough people to hear you, you might spend billions to buy the platform and try to buy more of an audience that way, because the audience is the point.

On Tumblr, instead, the audience is irrelevant. The treasures you can bring back to your cave are the point. The point is to hoard and collect and grow your shinies. It's nice to show them off (because who doesn't like it when their hoard is admired?) but it's the having and the getting, not the giving.

it's more work than reddit or facebook or twitter, because no one is out here trying to tell you what should go in your hoard. Everyone everywhere else has strong feelings on what kind of kitsch and treasures and knickknacks you should have. Here, you have to dig. You'll find a lot of trash in the process, but you have the choice of where your tunnels lead, and which garbage pi... other people's hoards you're sifting through, so it's a friendly sort of grubbing in the dirt that feels comfy once you're used to the muck.

I like it here.

[metalotaku-da]

Dcxdp Danny phantom and klarion are friends.

Danny as the ghost king who loves to prank loves teaching a younger appearance klarion all kinds of fun gags and tricks of magical nature. It's like the younger sibling he always wanted. And is a nice break from some of his royal duties. But things have been a little busier than usual they haven't gotten to really get out and have fun. Danny is 30 looks 20. Klarion is looking 14. But in the thousands for age.

Klarion is bored and upset. He wants time with Danny to himself. No interruption from clockwork or the eternal. Other ghosts. No one. It's not fair. He needs a plan to sneak Danny out of the infinite realm, hide him and not be the fall guy when they get caught. Because it's clockwork they will be caught it's the when. He needs someone else to do the summoning work. But who and how.

He lands on John Constantine. Clockwork doesn't like him much. And Danny inherited all the old kings claims. So he be able use that if things got dicey. And klarion is not a fan either of the jerk. To buddy buddy with nabou. So he has a fall guy to blame for the summoning. Just needs to setup a prank so good that John thinks he has no choice but to summon someone who could destroy the world.

Takes him a week to land on act like I'm gonna do it so he has to first. Easy. And he can brag to a bunch of villains to really drive the urgency. Perfect.

Plan worked like a charm. Maybe to good though. John got a bunch of heroes to help. No good no good. John is lieing to his super jerk friends. Klarion can see the seal. It will make Danny weaker and lock him to the jerk like a dog on a leash. Not to the artifact he said they could lock him away with. He's gotta fix this quick. He drops in the pawns he recruited to distract. While discreetly changing the ruin on the summoning without mucking it up so it doesn't work. All while fighting zantana, and racing the circle lighting up.

The summoning is completed. But something obviously went very very wrong. Klarion has teakle distract zantana while he goes over the summoning again to see what he shifted. Oopsie. The ruin for shrinking power turned to shrinking age. But thats ok. It can be fixed later. Maybe. Probably. He didn't get the teather changed before it set. But that's an easy fix by killing Constantine. But his friend is here. And now they can really play. So it's all good. Klarion is ecstatic. So much so teakle runs to him as he shrinks causing one of the supers to over swing on an attack on his familiar.

But Danny needs a minute. As he blinks wearily on his feet. Rubbing at his face. Ugh summoning. He hates summoning. And this had to be a strong one. Because he couldn't resist like most of them. Whatever once the brain fog clears he'll be good and can really give the jerks who did a real stern talking to. Or maybe he'll scare them. That sounds better. Standing infront of him is a blonde man looking like a dirty drunk cop dective from TV. Who is gapping at him as a cigarette burns on the ground at his feet. This guy has to be like a gaint too cause Danny has to really crane his head back to look up at his face. There is a bunch of commotion going on but he's to focuses on this weird feeling he has towards this weirdo. Who seems like he's confused. Maybe it was an accident. Whatever. Danny still isn't happy. He puts his hands on his hips. "Hey jerk face! What do you think your doing?" Then Danny's eyes went wide. "Oh by the ancients is that my voice! What's wrong with my voice!" Danny now clutched his throat before waving his arms wildly at the creepy man. "What did you to me you weirdo! I sound like a baby!"

"It a bloody fucking child."

"It's bad to cuss infront of kids Constantine." Someone else says outside the circle.

Danny's head snaps their direction. Danny's eyes widen as he puts his hand into view looking at himself panic taking over and he looks around at all these tall people looking at him or fighting. He opens his mouth to scream in fear or frustration he doesn't know till he hears a voice he recognizes.

"Don't wail, don't wail!" Danny closes his mouth and looks around for the source.

"Klarion?"

"Sorry my bad. I messed up change the circle so it wouldn't weaken you. And well oopsie " klarion rushed into the circle hugging little Danny tight. "But you are here. So now we can play." Klarion gasped as he pulled back from Danny. "I can be the big brother now!"

"Noooooo, klarion I was already a little brother. I wanted to be a big brother more." Danny whined. His white hair flopping over as he rolled his head in complaint.

"To bad. I'm the big brother now. We are gonna have so much fun. You just have to get rid of this looser so we can go do our thing." Klarion gestured towards Constantine.

[ichorandpride]

some morgott headcanons i have

just a list because i love this old man a lot. a mixture of both general and ship hc's

morgott nests. he has a bed but prefers nesting and has gone to great lengths to create a nest that is comfy enough for him. it's made up of furs, hides, bed sheets, blankets, even window drapes. it's not the best thing in the world but it's his and he likes it.

if, say, your tarnished is somehow able to start a relationship with him and ends up sleeping in said nest, he will actively make it bigger. just don't try to help him; despite the good intentions, you will just get in the way. you might get a tail in the face.

he doesnt move around lots in his sleep. he's a large, heavy guy that just kind of becomes a furry brick when passed out. that being said, he sleeps lightly. growing up in such horrid conditions under constant threats has him unfortunately unable to fall into a deep rest. if he does ever get into a solid sleep, it goes on for like 13 hours - his body probably overcompensating and getting what it can while it can.

he's got a rough relationship with food. he may feel stressed if at, say, a banquet and there's tons of food around. he's used to not eating a lot and as such continues to eat as little as possible. it's not because he doesnt think he deserves it. rather, he's just gone his entire life without a stable source of food and is used to it.

that said, he forages lots. my man is a scrounger. i know this mf scrounges around for mushrooms and herbs to bring back to his nest. at any given time, you can find at least a few scraps of herbs around his space. he probably eventually starts a small garden.

if he's eating something and you try to jokingly take a piece, he will growl at you. it's one of the few times he ever vocalizes like that (compared to his brother, who constantly growls and isnt afraid to snarl). his growling is deep, more from his chest than his throat, and it will be one of those rumbles you can feel.

other than growling, he can also purr. it's embarrassing and unbecoming, but if you get him relaxed enough (a feat in and of itself), he will absolutely start purring and doze off. please get him a big enough rocking chair to be able to snooze in.

he either doesnt bathe, or he bathes far too much. no in-between. it's really hard for him to be able to keep to a set schedule and so it's kind of become a thing of extremes for him. it depends on how he feels. either he feels like it doesnt matter bc he's gonna get dirty anyways and so he just doesnt for a while, or he goes through a period where he just cant get the memory of the stench of sewers out of his nose and ends up bathing like three times a day.

normally his hair and fur is wiry and kinda... 'off' looking. that's when he's in a period of bad hygiene. when he does bathe, though, his fur puffs tf out and actually gets quite soft. maybe even lighter in colour now that all his body muck is gone.

despite his occasional bouts of hygiene issues (and his own personal fears of smelling like the sewers), morgott surprisingly smells fine most of the time. maybe a bit of musk or perhaps the scent of iron and soil from his times battling, but otherwise it's not actually overwhelming or bad.

he'll never admit it but if you ever gift him some food and reassure him that it's all his, he probably spends the next several minutes just staring at it instead of eating. there is not a scrap left after he's done with it though.

[engie-ivy]

I wrote a follow-up to my previous microfic to turn the break-up fic into a Break-Up, and Make-Up?, fic!

1576 words

Remus and Sirius went from being close friends, to dating, to being friends again. Difficult as that may be, outwardly, they seem to be doing great...

Regrets & Mistakes

“Because she's my best friend!”

“That's all the more reason to tell her!” Lily argues, as she stands in front of the couch Marlene is curled up on. “You know what a good fit you are, you know how well you get on, you know Dorcas is not the kind of person to ever mock you for it, even if she doesn't feel the same,” Lily starts listing off as she paces up and down. “And if she does feel the same, you'll have this great foundation of friendship to build a relationship upon, and you'll have-”

“So much to lose!” Marlene interjects. “Lily,” she sighs, letting herself fall on her back on the couch. “Dorcas is my best friend, one of the most important people in my life. If she doesn't feel the same… Hell, even if she does feel the same, but we somehow muck it up, there's no coming back from that. We'll be forever changed, never the way we were.” Marlene shakes her head. “I don't think I'm willing to risk that.”

“Marls, do you know how many assumptions you are making?” Lily asks. “That it's bound to go up in smoke, for starters. But even if that happens, that doesn't have to permanently damage your friendship.”

Marlene gives her a skeptical look. “How on earth could that not affect a friendship?”

“Remus!” Lily suddenly exclaims, and Remus gives a start, almost dropping the piece of chocolate he was about to eat from the pile they had brought to cheer up Marlene (and if she's not eating it, someone's gotta).

“What?” he asks.

“You and Sirius were best friends,” Lily states. “Then you got together, dated for a while, broke up, and now you're still close friends.”

Remus nods.

“So it's possible!” Lily exclaims. “It's possible to go through a breakup and still be best friends after! Tell Marlene it's possible! Tell her that even the worst-case-scenario doesn't have to be so bad!”

Remus turns to Marlene. “It's not so bad,” he says dutifully.

Lily smiles triumphantly, but Remus continues. “At least, if you don't mind being constantly reminded of the worst mistake you ever made and seeing every single day how you let the best thing that ever happened to you get away, that is.”

"Okay," Lily says slowly. “Let's unpack that-” she gestures towards Remus as a whole “-later. We're now focusing on Marlene's issues.”

“Nope,” Marlene says, picking up a pillow and hiding her face underneath. “Absolutely not. I'm never ever telling her about my feelings now.”

“Here you are.”

Remus slides into the seat across from Sirius, who's drinking his coffee in a coffeeshop different from where they normally go.

“Oh,” Sirius looks startled. “Ehm, I was actually just going to…”

“Avoid me,” Remus states, crossing his arms over his chest.

An angry look passes over Sirius’ face. “Well, I thought you might want some time apart from me.”

“Want time apart from you?” Remus repeats, non-understanding . He's never wanted time apart from Sirius. Even when Sirius had been so intense that Remus had doubted he would ever be able to give Sirius what he needed, and in his anxiety decided to just end things before he would inevitably disappoint him, even when the wound was still so fresh and seeing Sirius made it bleed all over again, even then, Remus had not wanted time apart from Sirius. The pain of seeing Sirius simply wasn't as bad as having to miss Sirius. “Why would I want time apart from you?”

Sirius shrugs, trying to look casual, but Remus can see the tension set in his shoulders. “I dunno. Can't imagine it's very fun to be constantly reminded of ‘the worst mistake you ever made’.”

“Ah,” Remus says, finally understanding what all this is about. “You heard about that.” He still wonders what exactly Sirius is so miffed about. That he talked about their previous relationship behind his back? That he hasn't been honest to him about how hung up he still is on him? Or just the fact alone that he is still hung up on him?

Sirius averts his eyes. “I heard Lily and Marlene talk about how that's what you said.”

“I'm sorry,” Remus says. “I shouldn't have talked about our relationship behind your back.”

Sirius’ eyes snap up to Remus’ face. “It's not that you talked, Remus, it's how you talked! A mistake? Like it's something you regret?”

So it is the fact that he regrets the breakup itself that Sirius is angry about. Honestly, Remus can sort of understand. After all, salvaging their friendship afterwards had been hard, even seemed impossible at times, but they managed. And now, when they have finally established some sort of normalcy between them again, Remus suddenly goes and brings up these lingering feelings.

But even though it took Remus a while to admit to himself that breaking up with Sirius had been a mistake, he's never been particularly happy about the breakup, so it really shouldn't affect how things are between them that much.

“It doesn't have to change anything.”

“How can you say that?” Sirius replies. “How can the knowledge that you consider something that still means so much to me a mistake not change anything?” He shakes his head. “You broke my heart, Remus, you know that.” He's simply stating a fact, which supposedly it is. “And yes, sometimes when I look at you, I still feel so much that I wish I could rip my heart out just to stop it from hurting. But when I recall our time together, I recall falling asleep in your sweater with my head in your lap, dancing to our favourite songs in the living room, wrapping my arms around you from behind as you're making your morning tea. Despite the pain, I would not, I could not, call it a mistake.”

Oh.

With Sirius overhearing Lily and Marlene talk about what Remus said, something clearly got lost in translation. Sirius does not know Remus was referring to the breakup being the worst mistake he ever made, not the relationship itself, not Sirius himself.

“So yeah,” Sirius says eventually, his cheeks slightly colouring, as Remus, still processing this new knowledge, stays quiet. “I figured some space would be good.”

There are so many things Remus wants to say all at once, he doesn't know where to start. “I don't want space,” he begins.

“Well, maybe I do!” Sirius snaps. “Damn you, Remus. How much hurt do you think I can take?” He pushes his chair back and gets to his feet. “I care so bloody much about you, you could basically stab me and I would still love you, but I do have a limit, and after being blindsided with the breakup and now you telling people us dating was a mistake, I think I've reached that limit.”

Before Remus can say anything, Sirius turns on his heels and leaves the coffeeshop.

Emotions are swirling through Remus’ body. Sadness and guilt for how much he has hurt Sirius, of course, but also, perhaps misplaced, hope.

‘I still feel so much’

‘I care so bloody much about you’

‘I would still love you’

Maybe the chapter isn't fully closed yet for Sirius either?

Remus jumps to his feet to follow Sirius, but then he realizes they haven't paid for the coffee yet, and he frantically starts patting his pockets for some cash.

“Oh, just leave it!” A voice says from behind, and Remus turns to find the waitress standing there, with her hands on her hips. “Just go! Go after your man! Go!”

Mumbling a quick ‘thank you’ Remus rushes out of the coffeeshop.

“Sirius, wait!”

Remus grabs Sirius’ elbow, and Sirius stops, sighs, and turns around to face him.

“I don't think of you as a mistake,” Remus says. “It's not dating you that I see as the worst mistake of my life, it's breaking up with you.”

Sirius’ eyes widen and his mouth opens in a silent ‘oh’, and, slightly encouraged, Remus takes a step closer to him.

“Sirius,” Remus says softly. “I regret being a cowardly idiot and giving into my fears by breaking up with you before I could somehow mess it up, but I do not, and will never, regret having been with you.” Without thinking, he places a hand on Sirius’ cheek. “I do not regret falling in love with you, and I do not even regret loving you still.”

Sirius blinks at him. “You… You still…”

“Yes.” Remus leans in just a bit and briefly presses his lips to Sirius’.

Like coming home.

Sirius opens and closes his mouth a couple of times before saying “I… I can't get my hopes up if you'll just run the moment things get too real.”

“I won't,” Remus immediately says. “I've learned my lesson, and I will not hurt you again. I hate that I hurt you in the first place, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that, if you let me. No, scratch that,” he shakes his head. “I'll do that anyway. How I'll do that, that is up to you.”

Sirius hesitates for a moment. “I guess you can make it up to me…” He says, slowly reaching out and placing his hand over Remus’. “By being the best boyfriend I could possibly wish for.”

A smile breaks out on Remus’ face. “You got it, love.”

[suugarbabe]

[Chapter 10]

Word count: ~3.5k

Warnings: panic attack, flashbacks, anxiety, torture, mentions of blood, mentions of violence

Turning around you did your best to avoid the big brown eyes that were following you around the bar at the club. You settled your elbows down on the bar top with a huff, Blaise giving you a puppy dog frown. His eyes reminded you of old brick libraries and vintage books, which was fitting since he was definitely reading you like one at the moment. You stood once more, trying to keep yourself busy and distracted with stocking tasks before the club officially opened for the night. It was your first day back at work since the incident and admittedly you were a little nervous. It wasn’t that you thought Damiano or any of his minions could get you while at the club, you fully understood that the name of the club itself worked as a protection charm against anyone who seeked harm against the family and as all of them had put it over the last several weeks, you were family.

You set the bottle in your hands down harshly, the class clinking on the bartop causing Blaise to jolt out of his trance. “Okay, B, out with it,” you plastered on your own annoyed grimace as he leaned back in his chair. “Dunno what y’mean, luv,” he took the cigarette from behind his ear, using the tip of his wand to light it before taking a deep inhale. Turning his head he blew the smoke away from you both before meeting your eyes once more, a saccharine smile on his face. You rolled your eyes, “I’m serious, B. I can’t take you looking at me like that all bloody night, w’drive me insane.” His smile dropped instantly, shoulders slumping slightly, “M’just worried bout ya Birdie.”

Groaning you leaned your elbows on the bar, “What is there to worry about? This is the second safest place for me to be besides the manor.” Blaise took another long drag, smoke billowing from his mouth as he responded, “Physical safety is not the only thing to worry about, sweetheart. What you went through could break even the strongest of witches, and I know how bloody strong you are.” You walked round the bar, pulling out the seat next to him, “I really appreciate your concern, B, but I promise, I’m fine.” He gave you a look that told you he definitely did not believe you, but he wasn’t going to argue with you. Instead, he stubbed the butt of his cigarette in the ashtray in front of him, standing up and smoothing out his blazer.

“Think you’ll be able to manage the bar by yourself tonight?” You looked at him quizzically, “Is Enzo not working tonight? Was kind of hoping he’d be here. I miss bantering with him on bar nights.” Blaise gave a shake of his head, “On business tonight, the lot of them.” You raised an eyebrow in question and Blaise let out an annoyed huff, “I know you know who I mean, but just to be clear I do mean Enzo, Theo and Mattheo.” You nodded your head in thanks with a cheeky smile. You grabbed one of the rags from behind the bar, giving the top a final cleaning before the club was set to open, “Draco left in charge then?”

“Yes, I am. So that means no mucking about,” Draco was strolling up behind Blaise, giving you a playful glare with his words. You rolled your eyes, “And what if I do? Think we all know who’d win in a duel between you and I, Malfoy.” You gave your eyebrows a teasing wiggle. “I’d tell Mattheo, let him deal with you, obviously you listen to him,” there was a double meaning in his words by the smirk adorning his face. Blaise came to your rescue though, “So you’d be a rat, then?” Draco scoffed, “I’m not a rat, Zabini.” Your mouth upturned into a devilish smirk, “Ferrets are part of the rat family, aren't they?” Draco glowered at you, “Fuck you, Birdie. That was like twelve years ago!” You shrugged your shoulders, shouting back at him as he walked towards the office, “People don’t forget!”

Blaise helped you with the final bits of set up for the bar, taking on the responsibilities Enzo usually did, grabbing the kegs and setting them up, testing the taps, flipping down the rest of the chairs, etc. He reminded you again that he was there if you needed to talk about anything and you assured him that you’d be just fine, but appreciated the gesture nonetheless. Patrons started to file in per usual. A few of your regulars came up to the bar first, letting you know how much they missed you. You did as Mattheo had instructed and told them you had ‘been on vacation’ and ‘yes you had such a great time’ and ‘yes the south of France is so lovely’.

Surprisingly you were managing the bar alone pretty well. You weren’t sure if the regulars just missed you, or if you were just really getting into the work today as a means of a distraction. You may not have been completely honest with Blaise earlier. Yes, you were fine, relatively, but thoughts still creeped into your mind, still tried to sneak into your memory. Ever since Theo got hurt, you were pretty good at pushing all the bad aside. His getting injured really put into perspective how needed you were, how important you were to the family. Draco is a good healer, Narcissa taught him well. He was able to heal all of your wounds with minimal to no scarring, except for the one.

Your fingers traced the slightly raised skin just below your hip, your brain going back to what Draco had whispered to Mattheo after assessing the damage done to you when you were captured. “There’s no healing I can do to take that away from her”. You wished you could erase it, just obliviate it all without risk of losing everything. But you knew it wasn’t possible, you knew you had to be strong, had to push through it. And you were doing so, quite successfully if anyone had thought to ask you. You weren’t sure if the others would be proud or scared of how easily you could keep yourself distracted by mindless tasks and work behind the bar. Hell, you were even doing bar service, bringing drinks and bottles to different tables. If the boys could see you now.

The night was essentially moving flawlessly. The closer you got to closing, the more excited you got to tell Mattheo how well you did your first night back. You knew he was worried, they all were, but you were doing just fine. And that’s what you kept telling yourself. That you were just fine. That everything was going to be fine. And then you started to hear it. At first it was just like everything else in the background, something that was sort of going in one ear and out the other. But the rhythm caught your attention. The more you recognized it the more you felt your chest start to tighten. Each time you breathed out it seemed like you were getting less in with your next breath, like a python was wrapped around your chest and squeezing you.

Your skin felt like it was on fire, sweat beading along your neck and down your back. Your peripheral started to become blurry. Each flash of light from the stages had glimpses of Pansy dancing in front of you at the club in London. Your heart rate seemed like it was increasing quickly, each pump and rhythm like it was trying to beat right through your ribcage. You did your best to smile through it, to ignore every raging signal your body was giving you to walk away, find someplace quiet to calm down, to force yourself to forget. You were almost to the table anyway, one of the club’s most expensive bottles in your hand when the lights began flashing on the stage again, and then they flashed red.

Everything was moving so slowly but so quickly at the same time. You didn’t even notice the bottle slip from your grip until you heard the glass shatter on the ground. Mindless babbles and apologies were all fell from your mouth as you bent down to start picking up the pieces, not even realizing you were kneeling in the shards. You nearly jumped out of your skin when a pair of hands enveloped your shoulders. “Shh, luv, s’just me. It’s Blaise, c’mon. Come with me.” His hands gently but quickly lifted you under your arms, leading you towards the back hall and into the office. He led you to one of the bigger chairs, leaning down in front of you.

Your eyes darted around the room, internally knowing there was no real danger around you but not being able to slow your mind down enough to actually convince it that you were safe. Blaise locked his hands on either side of your face, forcing your eyes to meet his, “Birdie, look at me, luv, eyes on me. I’m gonna place my hand on your chest okay?” You nodded, eyes never leaving his. Blaise took one of your hands, placing it on his own chest in a similar manner. Blaise took a deep breath, a massive opposition to your short and shallow ones. “Just like me, Birdie, you can do it.” He took another long breath. You could feel the movement of his chest. The slow rise and fall, the fullness when he took a breath that fully filled his lungs and the small concave when he let it all the way out.

In a short while your breathing started to mimic Blaise’s. “I’m so sorry, B, I just…I don’t know what happened.” He shook his head, “Sweetheart, no. No, no, no, no, s’not your fault. Talk to me, tell me what happened. What’s going on in that brain of yours, hmm?” You let out a shaky breath, looking down at your hands. Blaise ducked down, forcing your eyes to meet his. A small frown formed on your lips, pulling at his heartstrings. “Once you get it out it’ll hold less power over you.” Your eyes shot to the ceiling, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. You let out another shaky breath before trying your best to explain the knots in your brain.

“I r-really thought it’d be fine. I just, when that song came on it was like…it was like I was there all over again. Flashbacks blurring my vision until I couldn’t focus and then I couldn’t breathe and I dropped the bottle and…I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, B, I’m-”

Blaise immediately pulled you into a hug, you reciprocating and holding on to him tightly, not able to control the tears that started to fall. “Shh. It’s okay, Birdie. It’s okay. They’re gonna find him. You’re safe now. He can’t sneak in here or the manor and that’s the only two places you’re gonna be until he’s dead.” He held you until you calmed again, asking if you wanted to go home, promising he could find someone else to finish your shift.

You shook your head, telling him you wanted needed to finish it. If anything for your own pride. Blaise used his wand to clean the shards from your knees, you brain having blocked out the wound until it started to be worked on. With a simple wave of his wand the glass and wounds were gone, as was the physical pain. Afterwards, he went back to his booth, striking the song from all playlists and casting a spell to ban it from the establishment.

After the shift Blaise apparated with you back to the manor. You had assured him you were fine by then but he insisted you go together, even waiting at the bar while you finished cleaning the glasses. In the foyer, Blaise checked on you one last time. “I’m fine, B. Really. Thank you for…everything. Do you think we could, ya know, not tell Teo about it?” Blaise looked at you with a sorry excuse for a smile. You rolled your eyes, knowing exactly what that meant.

“Birdie. My office. Now.” Mattheo’s voice seemed to reverberate off the marble floors. You glared at Blaise as you turned towards Mattheo. Not satisfied with your pace Mattheo’s voice boomed again, “Faster.” You moved quicker, Mattheo grabbing hold of your wrist and all but dragging you into his office until your arse hit the edge of his desk. As soon as the door to his office closed he turned to you. Walking up both hands cupped your face, brows furrowing, “I knew it was too soon.”

You shook your head, “No, no it wasn’t it was just-just an accident. I’ll be fine for another shift. I promise. Please don’t take it away from me, Matty. I need the distraction.” Mattheo frowned, thumb rubbing gently over the apple of your cheek, “You’re so strong, Princess. But don’t push yourself too far. It’s okay if you’re not like the rest of us. It’s okay that you still…feel things sometimes.” Using your fingertips you swiped the tears brimming your waterline. “M’fine. Really, Teo. But it’s sweet of you to check on me.”

Mattheo leaned in closer, his lips catching yours in a gentle kiss. His lips seemed to convey what he lacked in words, how much he truly loved and cared for you, how much he wanted to protect you. As he pulled away his thumb traced your bottom lip, pulling it down and watching it fall back into place. He placed his hands on either side of your face once more, “I have something to tell you, Princess, but…you’ve got to promise me you’ll stay calm.” You looked into his eyes, the usual onyx color lightened to a deep brown displaying how worried he was to tell you what was on his mind.

You grasped both of his wrists, thumb rubbing the inside at his pulse point. “You can tell me anything, Teo. You know that. Staying calm, I’ll do my best, but I’m not sure what you’d have to tell me that I would freak out about. Not unless you have Damiano locked under the house or something.” You punctuated the end of your statement with a half hearted laugh but the look on Mattheo’s face had it quickly dying on your lips. You felt your face drop, not even attempting to hide the reaction from him as you started speaking quickly, “Matty is he here? Is he here in the manor right now? I need to see him. Let me see him Teo, is he with Enzo? He’ll kill him, you promised not to kill him until I got to see him! Bring me down there, wherever he is, bring me down there right. Now!”

Mattheo grasped each arm tightly, gritting his teeth, “Birdie, you need to calm down. I won’t take you until you’re calm.” Your gaze never left his as you did your best to steady your breathing. Once Mattheo deemed it even and steady he slid his hands down your arms until his fingers locked with yours. “Enzo is with him now with strict instructions not to kill and Theo is there to make sure Enz doesn’t get carried away.” You nodded, assuring Mattheo you were calm and you were ready. In a whirl he apparated the two of you to a space you had never seen before.

You were still at the manor. You’d lived there long enough you could sense when you’d left the grounds and when you hadn’t. The room you were taken to was large, like a hidden room at the end of an underground tunnel or something. The room was made of brick, of which looked centuries old. There were dark colored stains that painted many parts of the room; walls, floors and ceiling. Each wall had a series of different chains and cuffs attached to them, what appeared like rust on nearly all of them.

To the average person it would all seem alarming, but you knew this is probably where Enzo did his best work. Your assumption is proved correct by the scene in the center of the room. Enzo essentially stopped whatever pain he was inflicting at the sound of your arrival, turning to the two of you and seemingly having a silent argument with Mattheo. His movement allowed you to get a full view of the center of the room. In a strong metal chair that was bolted to the ground sat Damiano, or at least you knew that’s who it was.

His face was nearly unrecognizable, one eye swollen shut and black. There were too many nicks and cuts on his face to count, each either red or bleeding. You assumed the shirt he arrived in was originally white but the top half was all scarlet. His ankles were chained to the chair, each wrist chained to the floor. There was little slack, but enough that the chains rattled when his head finally lifted and his good eye locked with yours. You walked closer to him, until you stood right in front of him. Before you even realized what was happening you reared your fist back before launching it forward, the crack of his already broken nose breaking more like music to your ears.

Before you could do it again a pair of arms were wrapped around you, pulling you back a few feet before setting you down. Setting you down was a mistake. In a flash your wand was in your hand, the word leaving your mouth with zero remorse, “Crucio.” Damiano’s head reared back, mouth agape as a blood curdling screech left his throat. The veins in his neck looked like they were near bursting, his arms contorting and straining against the chains on the floor. You broke the spell, the red light disappearing back into the tip of your wand.

Damiano lifted his head once more, making eye contact with you as he spoke, blood falling from lips with each word, “I’ve been wondering when you’d show up, Sunshine.” He licked his lips, the mix of saliva and blood shining against the muscle, “Glad to see our little rendezvous didn’t diminish that fire inside yo-”

“Sectumsempra,” through gritted teeth you landed another spell, lashes and cuts scattering his body. With another flick of your wrist the majority of the cuts were healed. Damiano gasped for breath, the three family members standing behind you all wore matching confused expressions before they heard you speak the curse again, blood flowing heavily from Damiano’s body before you healed the majority of them once more. Theo leaned closer to the two boys next to him, “What is she doing, why is she healing him after inflicting wounds.” Mattheo shook his head, but Enzo knew the answer. “She’s prolonging the torture.”

It was Enzo who eventually pulled you back, handing you over to Theo who held a hand to the back of your neck as you watched Enzo and Mattheo. You watched them continue Damiano’s torture. Watched him continue to bleed. Watched his body slump lower with each spell, each punch. Watched his head roll and muscles twitch and strain as he was hit with the cruciatus curse again, and again. When it seemed like he was finally spent you knew there was only one thing left to do.

“You started something you couldn’t finish, but now it’s finally over. I hope you enjoyed tonight, Damiano. Because it’s going to be your last. You watched as Mattheo took a few steps back, raising his wand and pointing it straight towards Damiano’s chest. Walking up you wrapped your hand around Mattheo’s forearm. His head turned, locking eyes with you, eyebrows raising. The look in your eyes seemed to convey everything you needed, Mattheo nodding. He lowered his wand, stepping back.

In his place is where you stood, hand now gripping your wand tighter than you ever had before. Raising your arm you position mirrored Mattheo’s earlier one, though for everyone in the room the view seemed to hold more intensity. Damiano’s head lulled, seemingly not having the ability to hold it up any longer. The hand that didn’t hold your wand lifted two fingers into the air, Damiano’s head mirroring the action, his swollen and bloodied face now facing yours. You took a deep breath, relishing in the moment you had waited for for the last year, the moment you had dreamt about, had yearned for whenever thinking about your past and what you endured. You spoke steady, and slowly. The calmness in your tone eliciting a chill up even Enzo’s spine.

“Avada Kedavra.”

[celestialprincesse]

🎀💞

The Simon Riley equestrian demographic is unexpected but also thoroughly entertaining for me😋 Without further ado: More Simon and (multidisciplinary) equestrian gf

He sets up the jumps for her and gets nervous when she keeps telling him to put them higher, just kind of stands there looking incredulous.

When it's cold out he's all "The hell are you putting a carpet on the horse for?" And she's like 😐 "Because he'll get cold?????"

He doesn't get it but he likes the way her ass looks in jodhpurs and therefore is very very happy to help around the yard - occasionally tries to pull her into one of the stalls for a quickie and she's like "Simon?! The fuck?! It's nasty in there? N A S T Y."

She tries to explain dressage to him as she's stretching her horse and he just stands there nodding even though he's utterly perplexed at 'horse dancing'

Lowkey thinks she's majestic as fuck riding around on her fancy horse like some kind of medieval princess.

He shortens her stirrups and tightens her girth for her when she's too lazy.

Her horse just wants to be his friend, literally follows him around the training arena until she makes him wait past the gate to watch so that she can train without a distracted horse.

He watches her do a practise round and is actually so impressed with how easy she makes it look.

Obviously asks her why she doesn't ride him like that because he's just a man😔 Its ok tho because she chases him around with a crop and puts him on mucking out duty.

𝜗𝜚

Brain is like soup today and I can't ride atm so pls enjoy more niche Simon X equestrian because I'm yearning for my baby🥲 (Horse, not Simon) Although i'd be happy w both

[fermented-writers-block]

Not gonna lie, with the Spot’s upcoming time mucking shenanigans as suggested by the flashes of the future in Miles’ vision, I would not be surprised if the dimensional collapsing theorized by Miguel to come from averting too many “Canon Events” will turn out to be a side effect of something the Spot will either do himself or set up to screw with Miles.

Particularly, with how much his origin monologue to Miles and Jeff centered around the idea that he made Spider-Man and vice versa, note how incredibly well that mentality would dovetail with Miguel and the Spider Society’s belief that the “Canon Events” are what made them Spider-Man.

@kindaorangey has a good post pointing out how the Spot’s mindset of “filling the hole with more holes” is a pretty apt metaphor for the way Miles, Gwen, and likely the other spider people diving into the identity of Spider-Man as a crutch for dealing with the isolation caused by said identity, but suffice to say, OP and @sir-adamus had these tags which I'd like to use as a jumping pad:

For this, we can analyze Miguel and Spot as two sides of the same coin, where Miguel’s side is about allowing canon events to play out through inaction, and Spot's side could potentially lead up to (as a side effect of his grudge against Miles) actively ensuring that only those canon events happen, with any deviations that don't fit into their views being cast aside.

The former position projects personal traumas as absolutely necessary and destined to happen onto others, the latter position rejects any possibility that things could go differently in a quite literal manner. But in the end, both ultimately are about "filling in the hole with more holes" and dictating what Miles "should" be like.

Miguel doesn’t think Miles is a real Spider-Man and that him becoming Spider-Man was a mistake that never should have happened, all from his obsessive mentality surrounding Canon Events. He and by extension the other Spider-Men stuck in their hole of guilt and fatalism, surrounding themselves with other Spider-Men stuck in their holes of trauma and grief to where they have formed an echo chamber that tells them Miles cannot save his father's life and that they cannot do anything to save people anymore.

And in the Spot's case, the metaphor already came from him, but it's all about obsessively centering his new, lonely existence around being not just A, but THE nemesis to Miles' Spider-Man. He lost everything and has nothing except his connection to Spider-Man. To fill that hole, he's not only only making himself a villain that Miles will actually respect. He's going to try his damnedest to make sure that Miles reaches his full potential as Spider-Man just like he talked about in Mumbattan, and fill the hole with more holes in Miles' life until Miles is devoid of everything except the Spot.

Given the flashes of future events in Miles’ vision, if and when the Spot inevitably hears about Miguel's theory of Canon Events, it would only be fitting if the Spot retroactively becomes responsible for all the previous dimensional destruction the Spider-Society dealt with. And thus, Miguel's theory obsession would be its own recursive creator.

A vicious cycle of telling themselves that things have to happen a certain way, of blaming uncontrollable circumstances on something they think they can and should control, and of refusing to let go of the spiral they've fallen into.

After all, Miles already had an Uncle Ben-type event and the Spot is trying to set up a Captain Stacy-type event. Since the logical conclusion to the themes of Miles choosing what kind of Spider-Man he wants to be and not allowing preventable tragedies to happen would be that Jeff lives, well…

It would only be narratively fitting for the Spot to try to set up a Gwen Stacy event later down the line.

Because if Miles being bit and the Spot getting caught up in the collider wasn't destiny, if the intersection of their lives was simply due to circumstances they had no control over, if the dimensional collapses weren't because preventing Canon Events is inherently destabilizing to reality in of itself, then Miguel and the Spot would have to look inwards and actually try to figure out how to fill the holes in their lives.

So Miguel tells himself that what he does has to be done, that only he is strong enough to do it, and that everyone should follow his lead and stop caring.

As for the Spot?

If he fails to kill Jeff and Gwen, and when it's proven to everyone else that Canon Events are not required lynchpins of reality like Gwen found, he might just decide to try to make them actual lynchpins across time and space.

Or at least, making it so that the only realities that can exist are ones where those events happen.

Aka trying to forcibly changing the multiverse so suffering huge tragedy becomes an inherently integral part of Spider-Man the concept, rather than a mere possibility. So many Spider-Men and their dimensions getting hurt in the crossfire, and all in the process of targeting Miles Morales specifically.

Truly, it would be quite resonant if and when the Spider-Society let and help Miles get to save his Captain and Gwen Stacy. Beating the Spot would no longer be about the concept of stopping a threat to the multiverse and their canon events, but about metaphorically ending the cycle of suffering and finding a way to move forwards beyond the guilt. They probably can’t actually change the past, but with this, they can fight to prevent it from happening to others.