Tumgik
#i lost feeling in my hands three times
iridescentropy · 2 years
Text
i just spent over an hour changing four piercings. the balls wouldn’t come off. it took a sheet of rubber and two pairs of pliers and a lesson in lefty loosie righty tighty. two of them finally let go and things were good. i have a tragus piercing. that bitch had it out for me. spent fifteen minutes unscrewing it then when i did it had the audacity to bleed?? i put some jewelry in. it looked ugly. i put a different kind in. it also looked ugly. i put in a hoop. i took out the hoop. i was mere seconds away from letting my $60 piercing grow over before my beloved mother lent a helping hand and we mutually decided on one piece of jewelry. but dear lord did we not spent twenty minutes trying to screw the back onto that thing. not to mention the fact that i will never be able to get a headphone into that ear ever again. i have to say goodbye to bohemian rhapsody. i have to bid good riddance to california dreamin’. i will never fully experience music again. then? i changed my septum piercing. she’s new to the family, much like the others, but she healed beautifully and was so kind to me when she came out. do you think i could find the hole when i went to put the new one in??? the time spent jabbing aimlessly inside of my nose is time that i will never get back. i did eventually find it, though. i am content now. but i will be holding a grudge. if it hurts when i try to sleep on them tonight i will be screaming directly in the ears of all the gods i don’t believe in to beg for peace.
4 notes · View notes
carlyraejepsans · 1 year
Note
toriel... what are your toriel takes today
i have a headcanon that toriel has a hand-washing compulsion where she does it wayy more thoroughly than needed, instinctively trying to scrub under her claws even when they're perfectly clean because she can still feel the phantom of dirt under them from the time she dug chara's grave.
709 notes · View notes
hella1975 · 1 year
Text
SNORK FUCKING MIMIMI
#my day started at 11AM. ELEVEN. AM. let that sink in. and has just now ended at 3am. (three in the morning. am. 3am. three am.)#i am SLEEPY i cant feel MY LEGS#like we all got ready at 11am. we went to spoons breakfast. we pre'd until like 2/3#AND THEN WE WENT TO THE HORSE RACES! BC THERE WAS A STUDENT DAY THING! IT WAS SO FUN! MUCH BETTER THAN LAST TIME!#and we were there until like? 9? i think?#and then we come home to get our shit together. had a chinese. drank some more. and then we went to the club#and we stayed until close bc when i TELL YOU the dj did not play a single skip song#it was just banger after banger i think ive lost my voice#but oh my god my POOR LITTLE LEGS#I WAS IN HEELS THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS AT THE RACES#6/7 HOURS IN HEELS JUST TO TAKE THEM OFF TO GO CLUBBING??? OW#IM GOD'S STRONGEST SOLDIER TBFH#ALL THAT WAITRESSING DID ME GOOD APPARENTLY MY FEET ARE STRONGER THAN SISYPHUS ON THEIR OWN#FUCK THAT ROCK BOY#ow. ow ow ow. but it was such a good day so idc. i met a guyyyyy <3#i also fucking body checked this one girl and i feel a bit bad bc she was so clearly having her teen coming of age moment in the club#like white girl dancing hands over her head twirling etc. unfortunately for her AND ME that involved bumping into me repeatedly#and like? she kept turning to us to try make us dance with her but me and my mates were having a lot of fun in our little trio so we didn't#which yeah maybe that was mean but tbh if someone did that to me id take no for an answer the first time instead of repeatedly doing it#like she was acting like she was empowering us and freeing us from the shackles of insecurity when rlly we were just like girl no#and she WOULD NOT GET THE FUCK OFF ME like zero spacial awareness to her#the irony of clubs is like yeah obvs ur surrounded by people but it's also looked down upon if ur seriously in someone's space#so i just wasn't having it and in the end i just fully fucking SHOVED her off lmfaoooo. sorry girlie <3#like i felt embarassed for her bc of it like she was so in her own little world and i absolutely ruined it but idc#be aware of other people and their comfort bitch!#anyway yeah it was very fun all in all <3#hella goes to uni
15 notes · View notes
lilgynt · 1 year
Text
threatened to slit my dads throat 🤪
#personal#i’m going to hell i’m going to hell#he’s having such a hard time#and yes he’s HORRIBLE to care for#and i feel like the worst person ever saying that#but he’s so old and so confused#and i’m so tired but i’m not handling this with any grace#my moms handling this a lot better but i know she’s crying to my brother#my dad hates and fears me bc i freak out on#god my hands are bleeding#i ran out the house and was nearly falling to the floor for most of the run#i came back and my mom took over which i feel awful for#bc she’s been caring for him all day while i slept#i also talked about how i think i have to sedate myself with weed for the three days i’m with my dad alone#and she supports it bht then i started crying bc i need it everyday#i’m wasting money and getting addicted to something that doesn’t even work for me anymore bc i’m abusing it#anyway mom gave me the night off so imma clean#he called me crazy to my mom and i totally lost it and then threated to kill him#also yelled at him when he told me it’s not gonna work like that after i freaked on him#i was like well? how does it work? do you leave? you can’t even fucking see#and the first yelling was me just screaming i want to help you but you won’t let me god#bc he wanted to sit on the small couch and i had him sitting there#but he kept getting up and insisting he wants the small couch#and i want to be clear im not ignoring his needs we got up and out of the same chair like 5 times#anyway if you go too fast for him he immediately goes like stop and idk just him self ish#and it’s like dad you want to sit but keep standing i can’t do this for 20 minutes straight#and i feel so bad bc it’s worse for him! it is! he’s scared can’t see and just wants help!#but my mom and i can’t do this and she got approval for a home for him and i feel so bad about putting him there#anyway not even 23 but 23 sure is an age
2 notes · View notes
wintersoldeer · 1 year
Text
i hope everyone who watches videos in public without headphones drops their phone into a puddle and when they go to pick it up they accidentally step too far into said puddle so their shoes and socks get all wet and when theyre worrying about that they drop their phone again and this time the screen cracks 
#seems like e v e r y t i m e nowadays there someone in the train too near me watching tiktok or whatever and i dont fucking want to hear it#also i think i lost my own headphones or maybe left them at work#they were my backup headphones that i bought bc i lost my headphones or maybe left them at my parents’#also my hands still smell like salmon despite washing them like three or five times i cant wait to take an actual shower#small annoyances that ill probably forget the minute i step out of this train but until then fuck everyone who watches videos in public#without headphones and double fuck everyone who watches videos in public without headphones and feeds their dog salmon treats#also fuck me for being so... like this. with headphones and keeping them not lost do ireally need to go buy new ones a g a i n#i say#ok instead of posting i just saved this as draft bc habit so in that time ive gotten off the train and bought some shitty cheapo headphones#from tiger (which i know are shitty bc i went through like three of them in like a week some years ago and if they were shit then theyre#probably worse now. they dont even have any fun colours anymore...) and i instantly feel better#gonna go take that shower now and hopefully finally wash away any lingering dog food stink thank god its friday etc etc etc#//edit 2days later ha found my headphones!! (not the fun pink ones that i still hipe are somewhere back home but the boring gray backup ones#that i was afraid i left in the pocket of my work pants that i threw in the laundry box. i didnt! theyre safe!!)
2 notes · View notes
seenthisepisode · 1 month
Text
.
#i feel like i am having some kind of a crisis. first of all i got sick AGAIN so i am at home coughing and not being able to breathe because#my nose is completely useless right now. the good part is i am on a sick leave so at least no work for three days yeah . but then i have#shifts on saturday and sunday which sucks BUT at least they are morning shifts which means i will be at home by 3.30 pm BUT that means#waking up before 6 am which again SUCKS but at least i don't have to be at work till 10 pm. so there is that. also i will have the next wee#off completely :)) which is fantastic news excpt. we were supposed to travel somewhere (me and my mom ) but we didn't manage to plan#anything so i will most likely stay at home and feel like i am wasting my free time which will make me feel guilty as fuck and not enjoy th#free time because this is ow my mind works and the stress i feel because of it? it's eating me from the inside like i literally can't focus#on ANYTHING because i already stress about wasting my next week. literally someone call a psychiatrist#also we didn't plan anything because the money needs to be saved for. my wedding. so there is a good reason why but that reason?#ANOTHER REASON FOR STRESS. i have been avoiding thinking about it seriously because once i start i will obsess over it and won't sleep#anyway. i have a wedding day coming in 2 months and i feel useless and completely out of control. head in hands.#also i won't be able to attend purcon in may which sucks but i need to sell the ticket because i already lost so much money on crossroads#that i also didn't attend only bought tickets impulsively last year so i want to avoid that happening again which means i have to like#sell them which is this whole thing that is also stressing me out. also i need to do the taxes . another stress factor#i was not meant for this life i was meant to live in a tent by the mountain lake i swear to god#personal
0 notes
myheartxmyman · 2 months
Text
But somewhere over the last year I lost you, the person I still love deeply. Whoever you are now is someone else. I tried to reach you, find you again, but who you are now who you became I don't even consider as a friend.
#you got lost on the way#strange things can happen#when thinking about all the things that went wrong and all the hurt you caused it makes me think I might have loved a phantom#at the end of February you had already changed a lot#people can keep up with a wrong version of themselves for approximately two to three months#is that the explanation?#and still here I am dancing with your ghost#still you're not a hundred percent gone#there is still a tiny silly hope#but with some time I'll set myself free#even if it all was true the colors you showed me in the end didn't align with mine#you're satisfied with YOUR life#there was never room for OURs#feels like I was supposed to just fit in in yours#I mean if I would have gotten pregnant what did you expect?#a pregnant girlfriend who's supposed to give birth between two flats?#wouldn't have worked out like that#at least not for me#but that's what I mean by saying 'you are completely satisfied with YOUR life#feels like we never had a true chance because we never grew together#at least not in enough ways#we never formed our own home#maybe that's why we never got our little Braten#I miss what we had#I am in deep pain and at the same time kinda relieved#it's strange on one hand I feel like all our the troubles this relationship caused all the pain of losing my man in the end makes it hard to#breath and swallow#at the other hand I can breathe in way deeper than I could those last nine/ten months#a burden is lifted#the heart aches nevertheless
0 notes
Text
Last night I had a dream that I only vaguely remember where someone tried to switch hualian and beefleaf but kept failing because too much of Hua Cheng’s character was him being whipped and they didn’t know how to deal with that. I was entirely useless but did find their approach to making Xie Lian gender-fluid interesting (i don’t remember what they did when doing that).
I was basically just sitting there with a sprite I got from a movie theater that was closing (dream right before this one) and being entirely useless as help (but I was entertained)
#emma posts#there were some other things going on at the same time as well#I think someone was trying not to get murdered and we spent half the time on a highway with no car for some reason#my dreams don’t really have a clear plot#a lot happens at the same time#it’s like it has three sun plots at once but one of the sun plots has someone almost dying#I was disappointed when the first place i tried to get a drink had orange soda instead of sprite come out of the dispenser#for some reason I found the gender-fluid thing relatable even though I’m not gender fluid#I don’t even remember how#but in the waking world I only have two sets of pronouns and they are interchangeable all the time#there was also swimming involved at some point but I’m pretty sure that was just because i like swimming#my life was being threatened while i was swimming to escape but I could have probably taken a different route#for some reason the change in depth perception when my glasses were off vs when I was wearing them was even more extreme? like a telescope#I’d say that with my fuzzy waking memory I lost the plot but I’m pretty sure there was more than one to begin with#feel like drawing a picture that is like me: in a beanbag with a sprite watching someone#them: hands in their hair ranting beside their desk#I am half zoned out#but I don’t think i will draw it#them: so much of his character is based around Xie lain#me nodding and going ‘hmm’ while I drink out of a straw in a beanbag chair
0 notes
junovrsmp4 · 2 months
Text
three is not a crowd
Tumblr media
OR
5 times Chris walks in on you and Matt fucking + 1 time he gets to join in on the fun
pairing: established!matt x reader, chris x reader, matt x reader x chris
summary: what it says on the tin basically
warnings: THREESOME, PURE FILTH, dick riding, oral (female & male receiving), teasing, edging, over-stimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting, p in v, slight degradation/praising, slight angst, happy ending yay
word count: 6.9K
author’s note: im a whore for both of them. that is all. (also this has plot, and is mostly beta read but i havent slept in hrs so if some mistakes did slip thru my bad
Tumblr media
1
“Hey Matt, have you seen my-” Chris begins to ask as he pushes Matt’s bedroom door open, expecting his brother to either be lazing around in bed or be at his desk, gaming.
What he doesn't expect is the sight he is instead greeted by, of you, Matt’s girlfriend of the last year and a half, astride Matt’s lap, riding his dick while he leans against his headboard, head thrown back and hands grabbing your hips, guiding you, slowly.
Chris is shocked, understandably, and he should just turn around and book it. Instead, he stands frozen, watching the way your head is nestled into the crook of Matt’s neck, your shoulders shaking. If Chris ignores the sound of his own pounding heart, he can almost hear the soft whimpers you’re letting out at each downward thrust of your hips.
At the sound of a soft, deep groan, Chris’ attention shifts to Matt, who has his eyes shut, and his bottom lip pinched between his teeth. There’s something surreal about this scene, seeing Matt, who looks nothing like Chris, but also looks the most like him, fucking this beautiful girl who’s been on his mind for months now.
“Matt…,” he hears you whine loudly against his brother’s neck, and Chris has to grit his teeth, fight against the urge to shove his hands into his pants and fist his growing erection. This shouldn't turn him on so much, hell, he shouldn't even be here right now. He should have run in the opposite direction as soon as he realized what he’d walked in on, but he’s mesmerized by the way you move, your back arching as your hips move back and forth. The slow, sensual, almost hypnotic, movements of your body as you ride Matt’s dick has him clenching his fists, nails digging into his palms and it’s easy to imagine him in Matt’s place as he gets this view of what it might look like to fuck you. Your moans grow louder, and Chris thinks it might be because you’re getting close, and god, he feels so hot underneath his skin.
“Shh baby, didn't you say we needed to be quiet?” Matt whispers against the side of your head. “Can’t have Chris hearing us, can we?”
At the sound of his name, Chris’ heart hammers faster, and he looks up at Matt’s face, only to see that his brother’s gaze was already on him, watching him with a slight smirk before thrusting his hips up, presumably driving his cock deeper into you, making you moan even louder than you already were.
Breaking out of his stupor, Chris stumbles backwards before hightailing it to his room, slamming the door behind him. It takes all of five seconds for him to get his cock out of his sweatpants, furiously jerking off as he leans against his door, biting into the hem of his t-shirt that he’d pulled up over his chest, and only another five seconds before he shoots his cum all over himself.
2
Chris knows its wrong, wanting his brother's girl. This was never a problem before, because any time he found out Matt liked someone, Chris immediately lost interest. It was the brothers’ code; they never fought over girls, and besides, they always just liked different ones.
You, though…it was hard not to like you, even after he found out Matt had his eyes on you.
Chris remembers the first time he met you, how nice you’d been to him and his brothers, how easily you’d fit into their lives. He’s not going to lie and say he’d wanted you right from the start. It was a gradual thing, slowly creeping up on him before he realized what had gotten him.
You just made him feel so comfortable, and surprisingly, the two of you had a lot in common. But then again, you had a lot in common with Matt, and Nick. And yet, you were so different. You were smart, playful, and so, so kind. You were just the right amount of goofy and serious, and you just, fit well into the dynamic Chris and his brothers shared.
It shouldn't have surprised him when Matt eventually told him and Nick that he was into you and planned to ask you out. It all happened so quickly after that. You and Matt had gotten together and, now you weren't just the new friend that Chris and his brothers were always hanging out with, but his brother's (his brother who was also his best friend, really) girlfriend.
Which is why Chris knows it’s fucked up. Wanting you. And he knows it’s even more fucked up that he wishes he could have a repeat of what happened a few weeks ago when he accidentally walked in on you and Matt. The amount of times he’s jacked off to that memory alone the past few nights is insane, his mind supplying images to create his own version of events where he doesn't run away.
Especially fucked up is the fact that Matt had seen him, had looked cocky that he’d caught Chris watching them, and even that fact hadn’t deterred Chris from chasing orgasm after orgasm to the thought of fucking you, imagining how tight and wet your pussy might be, what it might taste like.
Speaking of the fucker who seemed totally unfazed by recent events, Matt sat across Chris, scrolling through his phone, while Nick sat beside him, editing their latest video. Chris was trying his hardest not to flip the fuck out, but his whole nervous system seemed like it was fried. Nick had already yelled at him twice to stop moving so much because he was apparently jostling the table too much, and Matt had just let out a bemused chuckle without lifting his eyes from his phone the entire time.
Just as Chris was about to get up and retreat to him room, the doorbell rings, before Matt gets a series of texts.
“Oh, she’s here-” Matt says, before shooting out of his chair and rushing to great you at the front door.
“Hey, hey, hey!” your cheery voice rings through the hallway, as you and Matt make your way into the kitchen, and Chris almost chokes on the sip of Pepsi he’d just taken because holy fuck-
You were wearing a short, tight black dress that hugged the lines and curves of your body just right, the square neckline barely covering your chest. His eyes slipped further down to the way the fabric of the dress cinched at your waist, and to the slit at the side of the dress that came up to mid-thigh. That and the combination of tall strappy heels you had on made your legs look…really good. So good that Chris wishes he was between those legs, licking a path up your calf to your inner thighs, leaving bruising kisses to mar the smooth, unblemished skin of your legs, before finally, finally-
Nick hoots just then, exclaiming about how hot your fit looks, pulling Chris out of his daze. He watches as you bask in the compliments being showered onto you by both Nick and Matt now, and can't help but smile at the way you try to hide your blushing face.
So, it’s completely out of left field when he sees you again later that night, sitting on the couch with your hands covering your face but this time it’s to hide the loud moans that threaten to slip from your mouth as you watch Matt kneel in front of you, his mouth pressing kisses into your inner thighs…just like Chris had imagined doing earlier.
It’s ridiculous really, how Chris had been feeling slightly normal after dinner with you and his brothers, because as awkward as he may have been feeling about you and Matt, being around you and his brothers, having good food and just laughing about random shit made him feel really fucking good. Like everything was normal and he wasn't fantasizing about fucking his brother’s girlfriend. Like he hadn't accidentally walked in on them fucking.
Of course it’s just his fucking luck that as soon he’s feeling just that slightest bit of normalcy, he’d decided to go to the kitchen and grab a Pepsi from the fridge at 3 AM, only to find his brother about to eat you out on the couch.
“Matt-” you whine, as your back arches off the couch, one of your hands moving to grab Matt’s hair, the other trying and failing to hold back your moans. “Matt, please- nnggh- stop teasing.”
Chris feels all his blood rush down south and it leaves him lightheaded. The low lighting in the room accentuates the shadows of your body and he can see the muscles in your legs flex as your thighs clench around Matt’s head, trying to get him to move his mouth closer to where you want him. You’re not in the tight black dress he’d seen you in earlier, but in a blue baby tee and black lace-trimmed hipster briefs. There’s an almost imperceptible quiver that wracks through your entire body in anticipation for what’s to come.
Matt doesn't keep you waiting for long. Chris' breathing grows even more jagged as he watches Matt’s fingers push your panties to the side before he runs his tongue flat up your pussy. Chris can't see as much as he’d like to, but his overactive imagination does the job for him, imagining how wet you must be.
Chris feels like such a sick perv for still standing there, watching with wide eyes as Matt (his literal brother) enthusiastically licks and kisses your pussy, and he almost wonders how neither of you haven't noticed him yet. Then again, you and Matt seem so lost in each other, and now there’s another ugly thought circling Chris’ brain, one that makes his chest hurt a little.
He forgoes his Pepsi for the night and quietly returns back to his room, cock half-hard, and his heart just the slightest bit heavy.
3
“Alright, what’s going on with you?” Nick asks him, while his eyes are still fixed on his phone.
He and Chris were sitting on the couch (Chris had been avoiding the section that you and Matt had used during your late night rendezvous), and Chris was idly flipping through his Netflix watch list.
“I don't know what you're talking about,” Chris says with a heavy sigh, slumping further into the couch.
It’s quiet, and the silence makes Chris look up at Nick, who was already looking at him with a curious frown.
“Seriously, what the fuck is up with you?” Nick asks, and he actually looks concerned, which throws Chris off a bit. “You’re usually bouncing off the walls and annoying the shit out of everyone in your nearest vicinity, but lately you've just been, I don't know- I’m like actually worried, did something happen? Is everything okay?”
Chris swallows around the lump that had formed in his throat and takes a minute. To do what, he doesn't know. It’s not like he’s going to prepare himself to tell Nick what he’d witnessed, twice, and how he was feeling about it. Really, how does one go about telling their triplet brother that they’d accidentally witnessed their other brother in an intimate situation with said brother’s partner, not once, but twice, and had enjoyed it, to the point of having nightly fantasies about it?
There were more complicated feelings lurking just under the surface, more than just Chris wanting to fuck you, but he did not have the mental bandwidth to unpack all that, so that was that. It’s not like he had honest to god feelings-
“See, at this point, you would’ve been yapping away-” Nick says, interrupting his train of thought, “-but instead, you’re just sitting there, looking all sad and miserable.”
“Okay, I don't look sad and miserable,” Chris says with a roll of his eyes. At least, he hopes he doesn't. “I’m just tired dude. Haven't been sleeping well lately.”
“Right.”
“What? It’s the truth.”
“Didn't say you were lying,” Nick says, matter-of-factually, in that signature Nick tone that lets everyone know when he isn't buying their bullshit.
“I’m fine,” Chris says slowly, waiting for Nick to stop looking at him so intensely.
“Sure,” Nick drawls out. “You’re also a shitty liar.”
“Fuck you,” Chris grumbles, chucking the TV remote at Nick, who flails to try and dodge it, letting out an indignant squawk when it bounces off his shoulder and falls to the ground.
This, of course, results in Nick throwing whatever was closest to him at Chris, which happens to be an empty water bottle, and eventually they're just chucking it back and forth, cursing at each other in between laughter.
It’s the most relaxed Chris has felt in weeks.
Too bad you had to walk in at that exact moment.
“Hey guys!” you say cheerily, plopping down on the couch, next to Chris. You’d stayed over for a couple of nights now, as you usually do, and Chris should be extremely used to your presence, except he feels his skin prickle as soon as your close to him, close enough for him to feel the warmth radiating off of your skin.
“God, how are you so chipper every morning?” Nick asks, shaking his head with a poorly hidden smile.
You twirl a strand of your hair around your finger, and bit the corner of your bottom lip. “It helps that I wake up to one of the hottest guys ever, and then get to hang out with his hot as fuck brothers,” you say with a smirk, waggling your eyebrows at Nick.
Chris wishes you hadn't just said that because now his mind wanders (more like sprints) to the memory of this morning, when he’d walked past Matt’s open bedroom. He’d heard the telltale sounds of skin slapping against skin, and your voice, whining Matt’s name over and over, which had him stopping right before Matt’s door, eyes wide, mouth agape. This couldn't be happening right? There was no way he’d walked into this situation for a third time.
Chris debates on whether he should just turn back around, go downstairs, out the front door, and bash his head against a tree, or if he should soldier on and just walk past to get to his room.
The sounds were getting to him. His cock strained against his grey sweatpants, creating a very obvious tent. His clothes suddenly felt a size too small, the air around him too thick, and he felt sweat break out on his forehead. He should leave, run far, far away from his house probably, but a sick part of him wants more than anything to see what’s got you moaning this time.
He rounds the corner and is met with a sight that almost has him falling to his knees.
It’s unfair, how incredibly gorgeous you look straddling Matt’s thighs, bouncing on his dick rhythmically, your head thrown back. You’re leaning back on your hands, supported on Matt’s knees, and Chris watches the way your body undulates as you swivel your hips, ribs flaring as your chest heaves. Every gasp you let out is a punch to Chris’ gut, leaving him feeling winded.
You’re so lost in the throes of pleasure that you don't hear when Chris groans out loud, but he knows exactly when Matt hears him, because his head rolls lazily towards him, his hands that had been grabbing your hips tightening, and there’s little to no warning before Matt’s flipping you over and thrusting into you with vigor.
“Does that feel good baby?” Chris hears Matt ask, his voice rough and low. “Tell me how good my dick makes you feel.”
“Fuck, so good, Matt- please, please, please-” your moans turning into whimpers as Matt’s thrust pick up in pace. Chris can tell exactly when Matt hits the bundle of nerves inside you that has you seeing stars because your back arches off his bed, hands scrambling to find purchase. Your fingers clench into the pillow above your head, as you beg Matt to go harder, faster.
Chris’ eyes bounce back to Matt, who’s watching you in awe, and he’s seen that look on his face numerous times before, like Matt can't get enough of you. Chris’ breath hitches, because he wishes it was him, in Matt’s place. Him, worshiping you, making you feel good. He wishes he was the one that was ripping those sounds out of you.
He catches Matt’s eyes just then, and Chris has never wanted to punch him in the face more than he does in that moment, because it almost feels like he’s mocking Chris.
See what I have, what you so desperately want…
Chris holds up a middle finger, directed at Matt and whatever god was up there who’d clearly forsaken him. He had half the mind to just yell but the last thing he wanted to do was embarrass you. So with a scathing look at Matt, and a mouthed fuck you, he walks to his room, the sound of Matt’s laughter the last thing he hears before Chris angrily slams the door and sheds his clothes, pumping his cock to the memory of your voice.
It’s the hardest he’s cum all week.
4
Chris walks in on Matt pounding you against the wall leading to the garage. At this point, it had to be on purpose. The two of you had to be planning this, because how was it always Chris that ended up walking in on them, and not Nick? Knowing his brother, Nick would’ve gone around voicing his disgust at having caught you and Matt fucking, any chance he got.
So, it had to be on purpose.
Matt’s whispering dirty things in your ear, loud enough for Chris to hear every word.
“You’re so fucking pretty baby-”
“I want to ruin you, want you to feel me for days-”
“You’re such a dirty little slut, aren’t you?” and that has you letting out a particularly loud whine. The next bit Matt whispers into your ear is too inaudible for Chris to comprehend but he can tell how much it affects you, because you absolutely lose it just then.
Fuck this. Fuck all of this.
“Can y’all stick to fucking in Matt’s bed?”
At the sound of Chris’ voice, you look up at him, startled, and it’s electrifying, your stare. Chris sees your eyebrows furrow, your lips, plump from being bitten (by yourself, or Matt, who cares at this point), fall open. Matt’s shoulders stiffen for a second, so Chris knows he’s aware that Chris is right behind them, but the asshole just keeps fucking going. And you, you’re still staring.
“Chris-” you gasp, your nails digging into Matt’s shoulder. Chris thinks you’re going to push him away, scramble to pull yourself together.
You surprise him by pushing back down onto Matt’s cock with even more fervor, your hands moving up Matt’s neck to grab onto his hair, pulling hard.
Chris watches you cum on Matt’s cock for the first time that night, all while your eyes were locked on his.
5
Chris doesn't like being angry. He very rarely is. And usually, he gets over it really quick.
Which is why it’s shocking to everyone when he gets cold and hostile towards Matt seemingly out of nowhere, and the anger doesn't subside.
It gets in the way of their work. Filming becomes exhausting, and it leaves all three brothers feeling frustrated and annoyed at each other.
It’s in the middle of filming a new car video when it all goes to head. Nick and Matt had attempted to film a video, but Chris couldn’t hold back the jabs at Matt, interrupting him every time he spoke, insulting him for no reason whatsoever, which only made Matt retaliate just as hard.
“That’s it-” Nick yells, his hands pushing his hair out of his face in frustration. “I’ve fucking had it with you two. I’m getting the fuck out of this car and the two of you are going to stay in here and talk. Don’t even bother coming back in until you sort out whatever-” he gestures wildly between Matt and Chris, “-is going on with you two!”
And with that, Nick storms back into their house.
Chris stares out of the window with his arms crossed, seething. He can tell Matt is looking at him, can see part of his reflection on the window, but Chris isn’t going to give him the satisfaction of breaking first.
Matt, much to Chris’ annoyance, was completely calm and collected.
“Chris-” Matt begins to say, but Chris just chucks his empty Pepsi can at him without looking. He hears it clatter against something (the steering wheel, he thinks), before dropping down onto the car floor with a dull thud.
Matt sighs, and Chris wants to yell, because Chris is the one that should be huffing and sighing, he’s the one that’s tired of all this bullshit.
“Are you trying to prove something?” Chris asks, because he never could stay quiet for too long. “Is that it? What the actual fuck Matt?”
Chris had fully turned to face Matt, who at least had the decency to look somewhat abashed now. His face was tinged pinked, and he was fiddling with his rings.
Chris continues. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but if you’re just trying to get me to see she’s your girl, I fucking get it, okay? You’ve made that really fucking clear. Did I say or do something to warrant this shit, because if you think I’m out to get her, I’m not, okay? Jesus- do you know how fucking insane-”
“She wants you bro.”
Chris blinks. He opens his mouth, and then shuts it.
“I used to catch her staring at you sometimes, and there were times she’d just keep scrolling through pictures of the two of us together- you and me, I mean- and…I don’t know, she’d have this look on her face.” Matt trails off. He looks at Chris, trying to gauge his reaction so far, but truth be told, Chris was still trying to process what Matt had initially said.
“What…?”
“Look, the two of us are happy together. I love her, she loves me, but I think she…” Matt coughs out, and it’s the first time since this whole thing has started that Chris has seen Matt this awkward. “She’s into you too. She never really told me, but it got pretty obvious after a while. And eventually, I- I started bringing you up, when we- um, yeah. She wants us both.”
Chris starts laughing. Because he doesn’t know what else to do.
“Alright, good prank dude- I’m still so fucking mad at you but-”
“I’m not kidding, Chris.”
Right. Because why would Matt joke about something like this?
“Um…”
“Yeah…”
And that’s how Chris finds himself back in Matt’s room. You and Matt were sitting on his bed, albeit a little far apart, meanwhile Chris had taken a seat in Matt’s gaming chair. Chris almost wants to call the two of you out on the pure torture you’d put him through the past few weeks, but one look at your face has him abandoning that train of thought.
You look so…remorseful. You’re slightly curled in on yourself, like you’re bracing for some sort of attack, and Chris’ heart melts. The last thing he wants is for you to feel upset, so he tries to lighten the mood.
“So, do you just wanna see which one of us has the better dick or-?”
He smiles as you sputter, eyes wide as you finally look up at him.
“There we go,” Chris whispers. “You’re finally looking at me.”
“Chris…I’m so sorry,” you whisper, lips trembling. “God, this is so stupid, why did we decide to tell him-”
“Hey, hey-” Chris chides. “I think I’ve been kept in the dark long enough, actually. I just wish y’all hadn’t used such a weird ass fucking way to tell me.”
“Well, to be fair, she didn’t even know you’d seen us that first couple of times,”
“Oh, god-”
“-And, we kinda assumed you’d take the fucking hint or something.”
“Yeah, I thought the hint was ‘I know you wanna fuck my girl, so I’m gonna make sure you catch us fucking every chance we get so you stay the fuck away’,” Chris says with a raised brow, staring deadpan at Matt.
“Wait, what-” you start, but you’re interrupted by Matt.
“Yeah, he’s wanted to fuck you for a while too.”
And that's how Chris finds himself with a front row view of Matt fucking you, up close and personal. Matt has you on all fours, facing Chris, while he pounds into you from behind, hard and deep. Each thrust punches a high-pitched moan out of you, and Chris watches, enraptured by the way you take it.
Chris watches to his heart's content that night, no longer worried about getting caught, no longer stressed about wanting to fuck you.
Chris watches you fall apart in Matt's hands over and over, and all he can think about is when he can finally have his turn.
+ 1
They’d had to wait for the perfect moment, a night they could be sure none of them would be interrupted.
They'd been planning for this night for a few days now, and it was finally here.
Chris and Matt stand side-by-side in front of Matt’s bed, arms crossed over their chest as they watch you squirm in his bed, their combined attention making you nervous. They’re both barely dressed, Chris in a black tank top and grey sweatpants, the front of which were already tented from his hard dick, while Matt was just in his black boxers. The low lighting of the room made Matt’s rings glisten as he rubbed at the stubble that he’d slowly allowed to grow on his face.
“How are we feeling, baby?” Matt asks you, smirking at the way you visibly gulp. “You ready for us?”
You sink your teeth into your bottom lip, looking up at Chris through your lashes before nodding.
That’s all the cue he needs.
Chris stalks over to you, slowly, climbing over the bed and crawling over you, his hands landing on either side of your head as he holds himself above you. You lay back, your hair fanning around your head on the pillow, your eyes wide as you wait for Chris’ next move.
“Can I kiss you?” Chris asks, wetting his lips, and he doesn’t have to wait long for his answer. Your fingers thread through his hair, pulling at the strands close to his nape, bringing his lips onto yours. The kiss is heady, a wild mess of tongue and teeth, because you’d both been waiting for this, dying for it, and here it was, finally happening.
“Chris-” you gasp, open mouth sliding over the hot skin of his cheek as he lowers his head to the crook of your neck, biting harsh kisses into the skin there, before tracing his tongue across your jaw.
“Fuck, fuck- you smell so good, I need you so bad ma-” Chris blabbers, his brain-to-mouth filter long gone. He vaguely registers Matt settling onto the bed, leaning against the headboard, as Chris kisses a path down your body, laving every inch of skin he can access with nips and kisses. You arch your back as Chris circles one of your nipples with his tongue, sucking on it as he flicks the other. He alternates between kissing and nipping your nipples, all the while, you have an almost painful grip on his hair, pushing your chest harder into his face.
Matt watches your face intently, seeing the way your features scrunch up in pleasure, mouth wide open as you gasp and whine. There’s a small part of him that knows he shouldn’t be so okay with his own brother having his way with his girlfriend, but it’s almost like he gets a 4K view of what it might usually look like when Matt’s the one doing these things to you.
Chris continues his path downwards, fingers hooking into the sides of your panties and slowly, agonizingly slowly, pulling them off of you. Your legs instinctively squeeze shut when the cold air hits your wet core, but Chris’s hands gently pry them open, staring at you in wonder.
“You’re so fucking wet, fuck-” Chris groans, before licking a stripe up the seam where your thigh meets your crotch, so close to where you actually want his tongue.
“Please, please-” you whimper, pushing your hips up closer to his lips, feeling his hot breath fan over you pussy. You hear both him and Matt chuckle, before Chris has his mouth on you, licking the wetness gathered in your folds. All you can hear is the blood rushing in your ears and the obscene sounds of Chris’s mouth as he eats you out like a man starving.
It’s almost too much, the way he’s sucking on your clit, before pushing his tongue into you, his face pushed deep, you’re sure he can’t breath. The pleasure builds, heat pooling low in your stomach. You feel Matt’s fingers brush against your forehead, pushing the hair that was starting to stick to it from all the sweat.
“You feel good baby?” Matt asks, tone soft, but his eyes glint dangerously. “One of us wasn’t enough for you, was it? You’re such a dirty girl, wanting me and my brother.”
You whine, head pushing against his thigh closest to your head. Chris laughs, pulling his head back to chime in.
“Greedy little slut, that’s what she is,” he says, cheeks rosy and face glistening from the nose down, his chin absolutely soaking wet. “You gonna cum soon ma?”
You don’t even know what you respond with, just that Chris goes back to eating you out, this time, bringing his fingers to your entrance, sliding one finger, then two, into your sopping wet cunt as he licks random paths across your folds, occasionally circling your clit and sucking on it harshly, all while thrusting his fingers in and out of you, causing you to buck your hips up wildly. Your orgasm, only the first one of the night, is fast approaching, and your thighs clench around Chris’ head. The only warning he gets is a sudden yell of his name before you gush all over his face.
“Did you just- did she just squirt?” Chris asks, eyes wide as he takes in the mess that you’d made. His face and neck were now fully wet, and there was a perfectly round wet spot right underneath you. His fingers flutter over your now slightly puffy pussy, watching your folds quiver.
“Fuck, it’s too much- Chris, wait,” you whine, hands moving to grab Chris’ wrist. He doesn’t stop with his ministrations though, fingers pumping in and out of you, prodding at the bundle of nerves inside you that caused your vision to white out. It was fast, intense, and Chris manages to pull a second orgasm out of you before you’d even managed to catch your breath from the first one.
Chris sits up on his knees, reaching his arms behind him and pulling his tank top off, throwing it behind him. He hooks his arms around your thighs before pulling you down the bed, closer to him, allowing Matt to slot himself behind you.
“Can you turn over for me ma?” Chris asks with a gentle pat against your hip. It takes some effort, your limbs feel loose and languid, but you manage to flip onto your stomach. Hands grab your face, tipping your head up, and you see your boyfriend looking at you with a smirk, tongue peeking out to run across his teeth.
“Enjoying yourself, sweetheart?” he asks, voice like dripping honey with a hint of something razor-sharp. “This everything you imagined?”
“Yes- oh god, Matt- I need you, please-”
“You have me baby,” he coos. “You have me and Chris. That’s what you wanted, right? ‘Cause one dick was never enough to keep you satisfied.”
“Ngghh- please, please, I-” you whimper, mouthing at Matt’s dick through his boxers, startled when you feel a sudden smack against your ass, pain blossoming across your skin.
“If she’s already this cock dumb, I wonder how she’s gonna get when we actually get our dicks in her,” Chris wonders out loud with an amused huff, palming at your ass cheeks as he rubs his clothed dick against it.
You continue begging, your pussy soaking wet and clenching around nothing in anticipation for what’s to come, hips arching off the bed while your back dips low, shoulders tucked between Matt’s spread thighs as you lick him through the only piece of fabric that is keeping you from tasting him, from having his cock fill your mouth.
Chris smooths his palm down your back, making you arch your back even further, before he spreads your cheeks, seeing the way you twitch at being put on display.
“I think she’s waited long enough, hasn’t she?” Matt asks Chris, nodding his head slightly as if to tell Chris to get on with it. Chris doesn’t waste any time pushing his sweats down his thighs, freeing his cock. You turn your head back to try and peek at it from over your shoulder, but Matt has a firm hand on your head pushing you towards his crotch while he pulls his dick out of his boxers. With one hand holding the back of your head, and the other around his dick, Matt slaps it against your cheek, amused at the way you so desperately try and get him to guide his cock into your mouth instead.
Simultaneously, Chris is behind you, rubbing the tip of his dick through your folds, gathering the wetness there. Above you, you feel Matt lean towards his dresser, before rifling through the top drawer and chucking something at Chris. There’s a sound of a bottle cap clicking open, and lube being squeezed out, before you hear the squelch of it as Chris spreads it over his dick.
Later, you’ll think they must have planned this head of time, but both Matt and Chris decide to push their dicks into you at the same time, Matt feeding you his cock, pushing past your lips, applying gentle pressure to the back of your head, while Chris spreads your folds apart and drives his dick into you, the tip catching inside you for a moment, before he thrusts his hips and pushes his dick deeper into you.
“Look at that,” Chris says, smacking the palms of both his hands onto your cheeks at the same time, before kneading at them. “She takes dick really fucking well.”
“It’s like she’s made for it, isn’t she?”
Chris fucks you like he has all the time in the world, savoring the feeling of your pussy clenching around him, fascinated by the sight of his dick disappearing in you at every thrust. You stretch around him so beautifully, and you’re so fucking tight, he wonders how he managed to fit it all in you in one go.
At the other end, Matt watches you with soft affection as you suck on his cock, tears streaming down your face from the exertion on your body and minimal air supply. At every thrust of Chris’ hips, you would get pushed closer to Matt, which would push his dick deeper into your mouth, making you almost gag on it.
You have no concept of time anymore, or where your body starts and Chris’ and Matt’s end. You feel like one big mess of limbs, moving fluidly, with the common purpose of chasing your orgasm. You hear Matt’s groans getting louder above you, and you know he’s getting close. You’re not far behind yourself, but Chris still seems like he’s nowhere close to being done.
Pulling your mouth off of Matt’s cock, you circle your hand around the base of it, before stroking your hand up and down, twisting it around the head. You swipe your thumb across the slit at the top while you tongue at the underside of the head, all while looking up at Matt through hooded eyes.
“Cum on my face, Matt, please-” you beg, mouth slightly open, a line of spit connecting your tongue to his dick. Chris' thrusts are picking up, but you keep your elbows planted firmly on the bed below to keep yourself steady for Matt. There’s a tingle building low in your spine, but you focus on Matt, the way he looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed, bottom lip pulled between his teeth. His hair is a mess, and his body is flushed. The hand he has on your head grips your hair tight, and the other joins your hand in pumping his dick. It only takes a few more seconds of that before Matt lets out a loud groan of your name, spurts of thick, hot cum landing across your face, and you close your eyes as it drips down your face, some of it landing on your tongue.
Matt leans back heavily against the headboard, and before you can register anything, you’re being flipped onto your back, face still covered in Matt’s cum. Your shoulders hit Matt’s chest as Chris crowds against you on the bed, his hands now on the back of your knees, pushing your legs back against your chest, before thrusting his dick back into you.
The sudden shift has you blinking back stars, and this new angle has Chris’ dick brushing against your sweet spot on every thrust, and all you can do is sob at the immense pleasure you feel. Matt circles his arms around you, one hand playing with one of your nipples, while the other moves down your stomach and edges closer to your clit. The tingling sensation grows, and grows, your hands scrambling to find purchase on Chris’ shoulders as he thrusts particularly deep into you before you finally snap, screaming as your third orgasm is ripped from you, the force of it pushing Chris’ cock out of you as you squirt all over him, yourself, and the bed, legs shaking uncontrollably.
You’re fully gasping and sobbing now, the intensity of your orgasm wracking through your whole body. You watch through hooded, teary eyes, as Chris leans over you, furiously stroking his cock as he soaks in the view of you, hot and messy, ruined because of him, before he too eventually reaches his orgasm, cum pulsing out of him and landing high on your chest, across your nipples, one spurt even hitting your chin.
The three of you are a heaping mess of limbs after, all basking in the afterglow of a night well spent, tired, but satiated. Matt and Chris lay on either side of you, stroking whatever part of your skin they can reach, occasionally batting each other’s hands away and pulling you closer to either side, like you’re not all squished together already.
“We should do that again sometime,” you say after a long beat of silence. Matt snorts, eyes closed, but the corners of his lips are quirked up in a small smile.
“Y’all are crazy if you think I’m never fucking you again after I just got a taste,” Chris states. “Besides, I think there’s a lot of lost time I need to make up for, hm?”
After that night, Chris gets to have his turn with you, over and over. Sometimes, Matt is present, and the brothers somehow always turn things into a competition of who can make you cum the quickest, who can make you cum multiple times, who can make you absolutely incoherent by the end of the night.
Now Chris had his own reason for always being so chipper in the morning. It helps that he finally gets to fuck the hottest girl he’s seen, who just happens to also be fucking his brother.
Tumblr media
author’s note: i put too much fucking effort into an idea that essentially started as a joke, its gonna be so funny if this flops because i literally stayed up till 4 am twice in a row to write this lmao- anyways, let me know what you think! my inbox is open and waiting for your thoughts (: likes, comments and reblogs r much appreciated <3
taglist 🩵 (comment on my pinned post to be added or removed):
@luverboychris @bigbeefybitch @liz-stxrn @slut4chriss @sturniolosgirl @coochiedestroyer1 @kvtie444 @vschrissturn @hercigaretteblush @fwskullz @m4rriii @anabanana28 @sturniolosange1 @webbersturn @odeezier @johnniesrealwife @freshsturns @marlenafortuna @carolineheartsmatthew @incndescentglow @starniolosposts @urfavgirllyyyyy @mattsturniolosworld @lilyloveschris @sturniozo @lookingformyromeo @heartss4matthewq @lanasturniolo @ezziewinchester @s-s-842 @sturnlova @55sturn @chrisopeningabag
3K notes · View notes
dashofghost · 3 months
Text
PRACTICE
or, simon riley has a big dick. that's all. mdni.
"Are you sure?" Simon asks, for maybe the fourth time. You pull him down for a kiss, tangling your hands in his grown out buzz-cut. His lips are chapped and familiar against yours, moving in a well-rehearsed dance.
"If you don't fuck me right now, Simon Riley, I will chop your dick off," you tease, pulling him closer. He chuckles, wrapping his huge hands around your thighs, pulling them open. He watches, lip caught between his teeth, as you flutter and clench around nothing, slick coating your inner thighs.
"Tap out if it gets too much?" he confirms, but it's more like he's asking himself, smearing slick over your folds and your opening. You nod, looping your arms around his neck as he braces himself on his forearms above you.
"Si," you gasp as he pushes himself in. He knocks the air from your lungs, the vein under his tip rubbing against you. You arch your back up as you feel yourself stretch around him.
"Oh, oh god," Simon groans, hands landing on your thighs to ground himself. He pulls them apart, head falling back as he watches his your hole swallow him.
"Si, it's big," you whine, feeling the dull, pleasurable ache between your thighs grow. Simon rubs messy circles on your clit, pressing an apologetic kiss to your temple.
"I know, 'm sorry angel, just a little bit to go," he soothes, wiping away a stray tear from the corner of your eye. He pushes himself in to the hilt and watches stars dance in his vision. He's gasping for air, completely lost in pleasure.
His hands are shaking a little as he pulls your thighs up, locking them around his waist. You whimper at the new position, nails clawing down his back. Simon's head drops into the crook of your shoulder, gasping in your ear.
"Si, think I'm gonna-"
"I know," he groans into your neck, "I know, I can fuckin feel it sweetheart, you're so fuckin perfect-"
You cum with a whine, and it takes everything, all those years of military training, to stop Simon from cumming right then. He's pretty sure he's drawn blood from his bottom lip. He doesn't care.
As the aftershocks wash over you, he pulls out just a tiny bit, before rolling his hips back into you, and it's euphoria. He's only done it three times before you're writhing underneath him, leaving crescent-moon marks on his biceps.
"More, Si, I need more, I need it," you beg, tightening the grip on his arms. Simon's head is spinning, he doesn't know if it's the creamy ring of cum at the base of his cock or the fact that you just fucking came that does it to him, but he knows he won't last.
"Greedy fucking girl," he groans, crashing his hips into yours. The slick sounds that emanate from where your bodies meet fill the room, and Simon shouldn't find them hot but he does.
"God, I'll give you fuckin' everything," he gasps, "it's- it's all for you, angel."
◇─◇──◇─◇
Logan if you're reading this get off my tumblr
6K notes · View notes
criminalamnesia · 3 months
Note
Hiii!! I hope you're doing well :))
I just loveee the traitor series. Do you plan on making a part 5 or more?
thank you! here’s part five :)
the other parts can be found in my COD masterlist, which is here
ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE
I’ll proofread later :))
Tumblr media
you stormed out of the gym, eyesight blurry from hot tears. you weren’t crying because you were sad— no. you were furious. furious at how simon was so fucking stubborn. at how he thought he was in the right.
droplets of blood marked your footsteps as you made your way back to the infirmary. you weren’t particularly anxious to be yelled at by the doctor, but getting it over with as soon as possible was ideal.
“bonnie, y’alrigh’?”
soap. you hadn’t even seen him, so lost in your thoughts. you blinked away tears and ignored the scot, continuing to make your way down the hall in silence.
the sound of hurried footsteps was unmistakable behind you. soap wasn’t taking silence for an answer, apparently.
“bonnie, please—” he began, the drawl of his voice catapulting your mind to the past. to better days.
days when soap had patched you up after a fight, his fingers nimble as he stitched up a cut in your thigh.
“s’it hurt?” he spoke, voice gravelly because of his hushed tone.
you shook your head. your head was tilted back, eyes staring up at the ceiling but not truly seeing. you were worried sick— you and soap were the only ones who’d made it to the safe house so far. the others should’ve beaten you there, and now they were over an hour late.
“bonnie, ‘m sure they’re alrigh’,” he told you, poking the needle through skin. you barely felt it, too hyped up on fear and adrenaline.
“they should’ve beaten us here, y’know that—” you began, but he tutted, quickly cutting you off.
“cannae think like tha’, bonnie. they’ll be here any second, aye?”
he stops his stitching, his face tilting up and away from your leg. you faintly register the feeling of his eyes on you.
you felt lost— floating in sea of numbness. your mind is mulling over the millions of possibilities— possibilities in which they never return.
you’d never felt this way before, and the five of you had endured far worse.
the only thing that was different this time was the fact that you and simon were together. you’d never explicitly told the rest of the task force, but they knew.
johnny knew why you were so worked up. he understood.
he reaches a hand up, his dirtied fingers lightly tilting your chin down so you’re face to face.
“y’there?” he asks, his hand dropping from your chin. he moves to squeeze one of your hands, pulling you back down to the ground.
you give a small nod, fingers moving to intertwine with his. he smiles— not his usual playful expression, but a true, grateful, relieved smile.
“im here,” you tell him. he releases your hand, pulling away from your skin, giving your hand a light pat before fully retreating.
“‘m almost finished, yeah? then I’ll go lookin’—”
“no need.”
it’s kyle, breathing heavily as he shuffles into the room. price and ghost are right on his heels, the three men making the room feel much smaller than it did a moment ago.
“you two good?” kyle asks, a small frown on his lips as he takes note of your bloodied leg.
you nod, your eyes flitting from gaz, to price, to simon— who is now moving towards you. he crouches down so he’s eye level with you. you meet his gaze, and although he doesn’t say it, you know what he’s thinking.
he’s relieved, and it’s a deeper relief than usual. it’s heavier, more profound, because he’s started to let you in. you’re more than teammates now, and it doesn’t truly hit ghost until this moment.
“im good,” you tell him quietly. he nods, glances down at where johnny is tying off your stitches.
johnny must notice ghost’s stare, because he breaks his focus and looks up at his lieutenant with a cheeky smirk.
“no worries, LT. made sure to do ma best work,” he grins and shoots the other man a wink, to which ghost grunts, unamused.
the heavy weight of a palm on your shoulder breaks you from the memory. you move without thinking, bloodied fist swinging as you whirl around to attack whoever laid a hand on you.
then you remember— soap.
johnny narrowly dodges your assault, his eyes widened as your fist barely clips him.
“steamin’ jesus!” he speaks, throwing his hands up in surrender and taking a step back from you.
“i was jus’ tryin’ to make sure ya were alrigh’! yer bleedin’, bonnie.”
you blink as you slowly escape your stupor. you’d completely lost yourself in the memory, and you didn’t know why.
probably because your brain was trying to comfort itself the only way it knew how— by seeking comfort from the people closest to you.
old habits, right?
old fucking habits.
“don’t touch me,” you seethe, eyes narrowing as you glare at the scot. he frowns, bites his lip, but doesn’t say anything.
like a kicked puppy. you can’t help but feel sympathetic before you wrestle that feeling back down. he wasn’t sympathetic for you— why should you be for him?
you look at him for a moment longer, taking in his appearance. he looks fine, and that angers you just the slightest bit more.
“look, i— i ken we really messed up, and sorry cannae fix tha’, but please, bonnie. a’least let us try—”
“I don’t owe you anything, mactavish.” you told him, gaze cold as you met his eyes. “and you’re right, sorry can’t fix it. nothing can fix it; so, stop trying.” you step forward, raising a hand as you point a finger into his chest.
“the four of you need to leave me the fuck alone. frankly, I couldn’t care less about how the four of you feel. about how he feels. you did what you did, believed what you believed, and now you have to live with that.”
johnny’s frown deepens as his eyes glance down at the finger you’ve got digging into his sternum.
“you deserve to feel like shit,” you tell him. “and anything you feel— how sorry you are— just know that I suffered a hundred times more in that chair, locked up in that room. so the next time you wanna watch me from outside the infirmary, or you wanna put your fucking hands on me,” your jaw is clenched, fire licking at your veins as you speak to him.
“remember what you did. remember that nothing can fix it. remember that you’re dead to me— all of you are— and that I never would’ve let that happen to any of you.”
“and I hope it hurts like hell, mactavish. I hope it eats you alive, and that you never find peace because you don’t deserve it.”
you drop your hand, your eyes still on his.
“and I hope you tell the rest of them I said that. especially him.”
you turn then, take a steadying breath, and keep walking.
soap watches you go without another word.
Tumblr media
“that was stupid,” the doctor chastises you, her lips pressed into a thin line as she examines your knuckles.
“you blatantly went against my one rule for you. I shouldn’t have even let you out of bed, but you’re too damn stubborn! so I thought I’d give you some grace, but there you go— leaving my iv pole in the hall. bloodying your knuckles. I should let one of the newbies patch you up,” she grumbles, her gloved hands cool against your skin.
over the time you’d spent in the infirmary, you and the doctor had formed an odd bond. it was almost as if you were friends, but she always kept things strictly professional.
but you’d catch her giving you sad glances sometimes. you knew she was upset for you, angry for you, but she would never speak on it. that was okay with you.
it was enough to know that someone was on your side.
“sorry, doc. it’s not like it was planned,” you tell her, and her eyes flick up to meet yours. the look on your face told her everything she needed to know.
she didn’t push the topic. instead, she finished patching you up in silence. wrapping your knuckles in bandages, she gave them one last once-over before sending you on your way.
“kicking me out?” you asked her, raising your eyebrows.
she nodded, her eyes scanning the chart in her hands.
“if you’re okay enough to throw a punch, i think you’re okay enough to return to your quarters. unless you want to stay,” she says, and its unspoken, but you know what she’s implying.
unless you want to stay behind that door, guarded from the 141. unless you don’t want to go back to your quarters and see it as you’d left it before they’d tied you up.
unless it would be too painful to leave.
you shook your head. “im good. thank you, doc. really.”
the doctor gave a small smile and nodded. “of course. you’re due back in a week for a check up, alright? I need to check on those bruises and mending bones.”
you nod and give her a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. “wouldn’t miss it.”
she bids you goodbye before turning and disappearing behind a white curtain. you inhale deeply before heading for the door.
when you step into the hallway, it’s quiet. you pass through base with relative ease, quickly slipping past anyone you come across in the halls.
you don’t see any of the 141, and you’re grateful. you couldn’t handle another interaction with them today— and you didn’t know how much longer you could remain civil.
once you reached your door, you pushed into the dusty darkness of the room. it’d been a while since you’d been in here, and although you were glad to finally be free of the smell and sounds of the infirmary, you weren’t particularly happy to be back in this room.
this room, which was down the hall from the rest of the 141.
this room, which held memorabilia of your time with your team.
this room, which you swore still smelled like simon.
you grit your teeth, willing yourself to stop thinking about him. he was fucking everywhere, and you were starting to believe you’d never be free of him and the 141.
your memories. your pain. your scars. no matter how much you healed and moved on from what happened, it would always be there in the back of your mind. it would sneak up on you when you least expected it; it would haunt your dreams at night.
it would leave you waking up screaming for mercy.
it would keep you untrusting for the years to come.
you flicked on the light and scanned the room. it had been upended, clothes strewn across the floor and picture frames shattered.
in the midst of it all, a vase of long dead flowers sits atop your desk.
there’s a little note hanging off the vase. against your better judgement, you reach for it. the paper feels scratchy against your fingers, and the scribbled pencil inside seems the tiniest bit faded.
your eyes scan the note.
‘You were right.
Hope you can understand.’
— sr
you pick up the vase and throw it against the wall. glass shatters. dead flowers fall to the floor.
your knees give out and you crumple to the floor, sitting amidst reminders of once was.
you let yourself cry for the first time in a while.
3K notes · View notes
ikiprian · 3 months
Text
Tim swears Phantom could’ve been a Titan. Maybe he should be, at this point. They have enough in common to justify it.
“Jeez,” Phantom groans. Abruptly, he drops the levitation and hits the roof without sound. He stretches out on his back like a cat, sore muscles straining in a way Red Robin deeply relates to. “Fighting the living sucks. At least with ghosts I can swing as hard as I need. Already dead means they get back up! But mortals? Way too squishy.”
Red Robin huffs in agreement. “Yeah,” he says. After a moment’s consideration, he lies down, too.“It’s a hundred times harder than people realize. Batman’s always going on about perfect control in training. About how to have it, you gotta be twice as skilled as the other guy. Even without your super-strength, I worry sometimes.”
“How do you do it?” Phantom asks. In a move only achievable to those without bones, or perhaps Dick Grayson, he twists himself over. Gloved hands cup his cheeks. His legs kick back and forth, like they’re gossiping at a slumber party. “I mean. You said you train, so obviously there’s the physical ‘how.’ But how do you keep your emotions nonlethal? How do you keep yourself in check, make sure you’re pulling back?”
“I mean,” says Red Robin. “Murder is illegal, so.”
Phantom sighs. “Yeah. Maybe it’s easier for you.”
… Hm. Maybe Red Robin should redo Phantom’s risk assessment.
Before he can raise too high an eyebrow (though even moving that muscle smarts, ow), Phantom elaborates.
“Ecto-based entities have trouble with their emotions,” he explains. “It’s easy to get lost in an Obsession, or a big feeling like grief. The rest of the world… it bleeds away. Helps to have another emotional anchor to keep it at bay. I use fear.”
“Fear?” Red Robin glanced over.
“Sometimes sheer stubbornness,” Phantom admits. “But a lot of it is fear.”
With a considering frown, he drops his head atop his arms. Exhaustion, regret, reluctance play out on his face. For someone the Bats know next to nothing about, Phantom’s body language is an open book.
“I saw, like, an alternate future version of myself once where I become evil and try to take over the world? So now I gotta be good to keep that from happening. The fear of that future keeps the pressure on me. Makes me focus up. Y’know?”
Tim sits up. “Seriously?”
Phantom nods. “Uh-huh. Kinda bizarre, I know—”
“What the hell,” says Tim. Three consecutive days together and a concussion must loosen his lips, because holy shit, no way. “Dude! Me too!”
“Huh? Seriously?” says Phantom.
“Yeah! I totally saw myself turn evil. Like, Batman but with guns. Guns Batman. I had to fight him and everything. He tried to kill my friends and erase my memory to make sure I couldn’t un-invent him by going back to change the past?”
“Oh my god.”
“What?”
“Oh my god, me too!”
happy wips wednesday!
4K notes · View notes
ao3commentoftheday · 7 months
Note
Do you have any advice and how to write a long fic?
I'll encourage long fic writers to add on in the notes, but as someone who tends to prefer short and medium-length fic, I'll tell you how I go about it.
Get a premise that you just absolutely love. You're going to be writing this thing for months, if not longer, so you want it to be something you're willing to spend a lot of time thinking about.
Embrace subplots. You'll have your main plotline that you want to see through from beginning to end, but you can also weave in some subplots here or there. The way I do this so that I don't get lost down a rabbit hole is that I always make sure that every chapter has at least 1 thing that moves the main plot forward and then if I want to spend 1-2K with some side characters doing something fun I can do that as well. Subplots can extend for the length of the full narrative, but they can also just last a chapter or three. If you're used to writing short fic, these might give you that familiar feeling of "completion"
A chapter is only as long as it needs to be. Don't get hung up on having a consistent chapter length. Don't get hung up on hitting some arbitrary number every time. Instead, figure out what the next part of your story needs to include and write however many words it takes to get that chunk across. Varying your chapter lengths is a normal thing to do and not something to stress about.
The next thing that I find important personally may or may not be relevant to you, but I find that I can't plot anything in much detail. If I get too into the nitty gritty with my plotting, it just feels like I've already written it. I need to keep it at the level of "And then A and B meet C and hijinks ensue." I can figure out the particular hijinks later. It's the characters meeting up that's the next important thing for me to figure out. Getting too far ahead of myself is a death knell for me in writing long fics, but there are other writers who swear by it. Test out different ways of approaching it and see what works for you.
As someone who tends to write more briefly, another feature that's common to longer fics is more extensive descriptions. People spend time painting visual pictures of the setting or the characters or the actions that are happening. Write the more bare-bones style that focuses more on dialogue (if you're like me) and then go back and read through what you've just written and see if there are opportunities to add in more detail. This can lead to some really interesting characterization choices and also help you out with worldbuilding.
When it comes to worldbuilding, you don't have to get it all on the page. You just need to share what's relevant for the reader in that moment and what is useful to lay out now so that it's already there in a future chapter. You can have an encyclopedic knowledge of how your world works in your head, but it's not actually necessary. No one is going to be quizzing you later - and if they do, you can always figure it out at that point.
Most important for me when I'm trying to get myself to the end of a longer fic, have a friend or a group of friends who are also into what you're writing - or at least willing to hear you get excited about it. Being able to get excited about your work is so important. It's like a bottle of water being handed to you on mile 10 of a marathon.
5K notes · View notes
Note
rafe + overstim
Tumblr media
warnings: overstimulation, unprotected sex
“don’t close your legs now, you were just begging for this shit.” rafe yanked you towards the edge of the bed by your ankles, a soft protest leaving your lips once he lined himself up with your entrance. “wait, y-you can’t,” you were still trembling from the aftershocks of your previous orgasm, “m’too sensitive, ‘hurts rafe.” you nearly cried when he started stroking your clit with the throbbing head of his cock. “it hurts?” he taunted, “did you think about it hurting when you were acting like a fucking brat in front of my family earlier?” rafe pushed the tip in, your body jolting in response.
“wanna grab my dick under the table but act all sweet and innocent like you’re some kind of saint. if only everyone knew how much of a cock slut you really are.” he shook his head, slamming into your cunt with a groan. you yelped, hands flying out to grab ahold of his wrists. this wasn’t the first time rafe fucked you when you were overstimulated, but the feeling was still unbearable, your hips moving in an attempt to pull away from him. he grabbed you by the curves of your waist, holding you down as you writhed in both pleasure and pain. “fuck- please, i won’t do it again.” tears were running down your cheeks now.
rafe scoffed. “of course you are, you know why?” he leaned down, “because you love this, ‘love being manhandled and forced to cum even though you whine and say no.” you let out a shaky breath, your mouth falling open in a silent moan when you felt his fingers circle your clit. “is that not true?” he planted a kiss on the tip of your nose, waiting for you to give him the green light to keep up his ministrations. as soon as a ‘yes.’ slipped past your lips, rafe was merciless on your cunt, torturing your bundle of nerves as he fucked into you like there was no tomorrow.
you lost all ability to hold yourself up, your elbows collapsing from underneath you. “you’re doing so good, baby. ‘think you can give me three more?” he smiled down at the dazed expression on your face. three more? surely you’d pass out by then. when you felt your second orgasm of the night approaching, you couldn’t help your thighs from shaking around his waist. “rafe, i-i’m gonna cum..” spots dotted your vision as you fell over the edge, your eyes screwing shut when you felt that band in your stomach snap. rafe shushed you, still holding you in place when your thighs threatened to close around his hand.
“try to move away again and i’ll make the next one so much worse.” he said through gritted teeth. even though rafe was close himself, he enjoyed seeing just how fucked-out he could make you. “too much!” you squeaked. taking your lips with his own, he stopped working on your clit, slowly thrusting into you so you could feel a small sense of relief. “are you okay?” he met your starry gaze. blinking slowly, you nodded. “good, because we’re not done yet.”
2K notes · View notes
storiesforallfandoms · 6 months
Text
new toy ~ felix catton;saltburn
word count: 5901
request?: no
description: when he brings a girl home for the summer, she finds herself struggling to fit into his lifestyle
pairing: felix catton x female!reader
warnings: swearing, mentions of parent deaths, farleigh being a catty rich bitch (affectionate), feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, little bit of angst, things get steamy but no actual smut in this one
masterlist (one, two, three)
Tumblr media
Venetia rushed to the window of her bedroom as she heard the car carrying her brother pulling up the drive. The family had been made aware that Felix was bringing a friend home for the summer. Not that anyone had to tell them. Felix often had a new sad sack in tow whenever he came home from school, who would never be seen again once they returned to school at the end of the summer. Venetia had tried to get some information on this new friend from Farleigh, but her cousin said he hadn't seen anyone new hanging out with Felix during the school year. She was itching to get a peak at Felix's newest toy.
She gasped and turned to Farleigh, who was looking at her in curiosity. "It's a girl!"
(Y/N) stepped out of the car as Felix excitedly talked away. She looked at the giant house with wide eyes. She knew Felix had money; his parents were paying his way through college after all, meanwhile (Y/N) was a scholarship kid. But she never could've imagined he was this level of rich. His house was a goddamn castle!
She was wondering if it was too late to back out of Felix's offer to stay over.
An older man dressed in a black suit opened the front door as (Y/N) and Felix approached. (Y/N) stopped suddenly as the man's glare landed on her.
"Duncan!" Felix exclaimed. "How are you, you serious old brute?"
"Good to see you, master Felix. This is your new...friend?"
The way he said it made (Y/N) wince.
Felix turned to her and threw an arm around her shoulders. "Don't be frightened, (Y/N). This is my family butler, Duncan. He looks terrifying, but his bark is worse than his bite."
(Y/N) tried to smile at Duncan, but he merely continued to stare her down. She shrunk into Felix's embrace, which, luckily, the taller boy noticed her discomfort and brought her into the house. With his arm still around her, Felix brought (Y/N) around the giant house. There was so much to see, so much to know. There was simply no way she'd remember it all. She expected to get lost just trying to get to the bathroom.
Luckily, that wouldn't be a problem at least, as Felix led her into his room. "Your room is just through here. We'll be sharing a bathroom. Hope you don't mind."
She was glad he wasn't facing her so he missed the look on her face at his statement.
Felix threw the door to her room open with a flourish before turning to her. "And this is where you'll be staying. Don't worry about unpacking, the butlers will do that for you. It has a nice view of the garden and such, and I'm just next door past the bathroom, as you've already seen."
He flopped down onto her bed and stretched out so he was taking up the entire bed. (Y/N) pushed his leg over a bit so she could sit next to him. "It's a lot to take in."
"I know," Felix said. He rolled onto his side to look up at her. "It'll feel like a lot, but I promise my family will love you. And if it gets overwhelming, I'll be here."
He put his hand on her leg. She looked down at it, the heat from where his hand was touching rising from that spot all the way up to her face. Her entire body felt like it had been ignited by a simple gesture to try and bring her comfort. She wondered if Felix knew what he did to her.
She tried not to let her disappointment show as Felix stood, removing his hand from her leg.
"I'll let you unwind or whatever," he said. "Dinner isn't until 5, so you have plenty of time to yourself until then. You brought a dress, right?" She nodded. "Good. Mum and dad insist on fancy dinner wear. It's a little embarrassing. I'll be in my room if you need anything."
And just like that, he was gone. (Y/N) sighed and fell back onto the bed.
This definitely was not how she expected to spend her summer. She had started her time at Oxford as an outcast, a scholarship loser among a sea of rich kids. She tired not to let it get to her. Getting into Oxford at all was a big deal, (Y/N) knew to be proud of that. But that didn't make the whispers and dirty looks directed towards her any easier to take.
She didn't seek out friendship with anyone, let alone with Felix. Of course, she had noticed Felix. Who wouldn't? He was beautiful and had charm for days. Everyone loved him. But (Y/N) knew better than to try and approach him. They were from two completely different worlds, and (Y/N) knew she didn't belong in his world.
To her surprise, it was Felix who initiated first contact.
They were in an English class together. Felix had sat next to her one day and asked, "Did you finish the reading for today?" (Y/N) was so shocked that he had spoken to her that she could only nod in response. "Can you summarize it for me? I tried to read it but it was so fucking boring."
Apparently, that one act of kindness was enough to consider (Y/N) a friend. Felix invited her to sit with him at the bar, to come study in his room, to go to the "invite only" parties on campus. His other rich friends didn't seem to enjoy her company, but he did and that's all that mattered.
When (Y/N) told Felix she had nowhere to go for the summer, he invited her to come stay with him and his family in Saltburn. He refused to take no for an answer. So now here she was, in a bedroom that only had a bathroom to separate her and the boy she had started developing feelings for but knew she couldn't have, in a house the size of a castle owned by a family who mad more money than she'd ever see in her life.
She let out another sigh for good measure before sitting up. She still had plenty of time before dinner, but she wanted to make sure she was presentable to meet Felix's family for the first time. She got up and went to the bathroom, locking the door that led to Felix's room just in case. There was no shower, so she had to opt for a bath. She tried to be quick, but once she had laid in the oversized tub and allowed the hot water to engulf her, she never wanted to get out. Maybe she could spend the entire summer in the tub instead of dealing with Felix's family.
When the water began to go cold, she reluctantly got out and returned to her room. She had packed the limited amount of makeup she owned just in case there were any formal gatherings she needed to dress up for. Now she was definitely glad she had if dinner was meant to be a formal thing. She did her makeup carefully to make sure it was perfect, then dug through her bag for the dress she had packed. It wasn't anything super fancy, just a royal blue, off the shoulder dress with a pleated skirt that came down just above the knee. It was the nicest dress she owned, so eh hoped it would suffice.
There was still some time before dinner, but (Y/N) figured it was time to meet the family.
She stepped out of her room and realized she had no idea where to go to find the dining room.
"Need help?"
(Y/N) jumped and turned to see Duncan stood, blank faced yet again, looking at her,
"Yes please," she responded, her voice soft.
"Follow me," Duncan told her. He didn't wait to see if she was following, she she quickly troted along behind him to keep up.
The Catton family was sat around the dinner table already when Duncan led (Y/N) into the room. All eyes turned to her when she walked in. She suddenly felt very self conscious and wished she was back in the hot, welcoming bath tub.
Until she caught Felix looking at her as if she were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on.
"Oh, Felix, darling," an older woman sat at the head of the table - Felix's mom - said. "She is absolutely beautiful."
His mom stood from her seat and quickly approached (Y/N). She gently cupped (Y/N)'s cheeks. (Y/N) tensed, unsure of what to do. Mrs. Catton didn't seem to notice, or if she did she didn't let on.
"Honey, you didn't tell us how beautiful she was," Mrs. Catton said to her son.
"You never believe me," Felix retorted.
Mrs. Catton turned back to (Y/N). "Welcome, darling. We're very happy to have you here. You can call me Lady Elspeth." She took (Y/N)'s hands and squeezed them, then gestured towards the table. "We left a seat free next to Felix for you. Come, sit. Dinner will be served soon."
(Y/N) quickly moved to the table, oping to no longer be the center of attention. Felix was still smiling at her as she sat down next to him.
"You do look beautiful," he said.
Her face started heating up. "Thank you."
Across from them, a throat cleared. Felix glanced up at his cousin. (Y/N) didn't miss the subtle change in Felix's expression. "(Y/N), this is my cousin, Farleigh, and my sister, Venetia."
"Oh, I know Farleigh," she said, looking over at the other young man. He gave her an obviously forced smile. "I-I mean, I know of Farleigh. I've seen you around on campus."
"Weird that I haven't seen you. It's not like Felix to hide his friends away," Farleigh said.
"I wasn't hiding her away." Felix's face was tense. (Y/N) wondered what the story between him and Farleigh was. They seemed to get along well on campus, or at least Farleigh was in Felix's friend group.
Dinner was served, thus breaking up the tense moment. A plate was placed in front of everyone and they all began to eat. (Y/N) tried not to draw too much attention to herself, but she knew her presence alone was drawing attention. Both Farleigh and Venetia weren't very subtle with the way they were staring at her.
"So, (Y/N)," Elspeth said after a few moments of silence, "what is it you're studying at Oxford?"
"English," (Y/N) responded. "I'd like to be a writer when I graduate, but I know that's not an entirely realistic dream so I'm aiming to be an English teacher as a backup."
"Oh, writing! That's wonderful, darling!" Elspeth said. (Y/N) was somewhat shocked that Elspeth seemed genuine with her interest. "Have you written anything yet?"
"A few short stories." She shrugged. "Nothing major."
"'Nothing major'?" Felix questioned. "She's won contests with her short stories! Remember, you told me one of your stories was published in an anthology of short stories when you were still in high school?"
Elspeth and Felix's dad, Sir James, were impressed, while (Y/N) was surprised that Felix had remembered her telling him that. He was smiling down at her in pride and she couldn't help but smile back at him.
"Is that how you got your scholarship?" Farleigh asked. The look on his face told (Y/N) that his question wasn't as genuine as Elspeth's had been.
"Farleigh," Felix sneered.
"What? I was just asking. It's not like it's a secret that she's a scholarship kid. There's no shame in needing some financial help."
"You would know, wouldn't you?"
"Boys," James said, his voice stern in warning.
Dinner fell quiet after that. (Y/N) pushed her food around her plate, suddenly no longer hungry. She was back to wishing she could melt away into the floor and never be seen again. Maybe it wasn't too late to just go back to the school and stay in the dorms alone for the summer.
Once she had finished eating, she politely excused herself and went back to her room. She had paid enough attention when Duncan showed her to the dining room that she made it back with no issue. The minute the door closed behind her, she let out a sigh. A lump had started to form in her throat, but she was refusing to let herself cry. Even now while she was alone, she didn't want to give in to these feelings. She had to be strong, at least until she could get her things together and figure out a way back to the school.
As Felix had told her, the butlers had unpacked her bag while she was at dinner. It took her a moment to find her pajamas and makeup remover. She pulled on an oversized shirt she had packed to wear on the warm nights and was leaned over the dresser to start taking off her makeup, the shirt riding up just enough, when the door connecting her and Felix suddenly opened. Felix walked in, still in his suit from dinner, except he had removed his tie and the top few buttons had been undone. (Y/N) quickly stood up straight, pulling her shirt down to cover her ass.
"Don't you knock?" she asked.
"No, why would I?" he said.
"What if I was changing?"
"You weren't."
She rolled her eyes and went back to taking her makeup off, this time more cautious about how much of her was being exposed with Felix in the room.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry about how Farleigh acted during dinner," Felix said.
(Y/N) paused for a moment. She glanced at Felix through the mirror. He was looking up at her with an expression that told her his apology was genuine.
"It's alright," she said.
"No, it wasn't alright. He shouldn't be saying those things about you. It's not like he's much different. My parents have financially supported him for years and let him stay here for free. At least you earned your scholarship, he only got his way in life because of his family."
"So did you, though." There was a beat, and (Y/N) quickly turned to face Felix. "Wait, I didn't mean - "
"No, you're right," he cut her off. "My parents have financially helped me, too. You're the only one among us who has really earned your spot at Oxford. It's not fair of Farleigh to try and make you feel small because you come from a different background."
(Y/N) wanted to tell him it wasn't just Farleigh, it was everyone at Oxford. Even Felix's own friend group had shunned (Y/N) when he introduced her to them. It felt like Felix was the only one who truly wanted to befriend (Y/N).
"You don't have to apologize for him," she said instead. "But I appreciate that you'd want to."
"You're my friend. I didn't bring you here to be insulted by my obnoxious cousin, I brought you here because I wanted you to spend the summer with us."
Friend.
Even though she knew that's all they were, it still stung to hear him say it. She wanted so much more than that, but it was wishful thinking to believe that Felix cause ever want more than that.
"I...I think I'm gonna just...get in bed."
He raised an eyebrow at her. "It's still only early."
"I know. All the travel just has me feeling pretty worn out."
"Okay."
He stood and (Y/N) expected him to go back to his room. When he started to unbutton his shirt more, her eyes nearly popped out of her head.
"What are you doing?!"
"I was going to stay over here tonight. If you were okay with that, that is."
"You're supposed to ask these things before you just start undressing."
Felix chuckled as (Y/N) turned her back to him. "You really don't want to watch as I undress?"
Of course I want to watch! "I'm just...trying to be courteous."
He laughed again. (Y/N) could hear the sounds of his clothes hitting the floor. She wondered why he hadn't at least gone back to his room to get a pair of pajamas. At least pajama pants. She was starting to get the feeling that at home, Felix didn't have to ask many questions, and that also extended towards his guests.
"Okay, I am covered."
When she turned back, he was under the covers of her bed, his hands behind his head so she could see that he was at least shirtless under there.
"The bed is big enough for us to share," he said, reading the shocked look on her face. "That is, again, if you don't mind."
"N-No. I-I guess that's fine."
(Y/N) crawled into bed next to Felix. She tried to put as much distance between the two of them as she could but, despite what Felix said, the bed certainly was not that big. She could still feel the heat from his body as she turned onto her side, her back to him. She could feel his nearness. And she could feel the fact that he was only wearing his boxers.
"You don't have to stay, you know," she said. "I'm not going to slip away during the night or something."
He bed shook a little as he laughed. "I know. I just wanted to stay over here. At the very least, I want to make sure you don't have any issues sleeping. I always find I struggle when I'm trying to sleep in a new place."
(Y/N) rolled onto her other side so that she could face Felix. The full moon was shining through the window, illuminating his face. He turned his head to look down at her.
"I really appreciate everything you've done for me, Felix," she said, her voice so soft it was nearly a whisper.
He smiled. "Get some sleep, (Y/N). I don't intend on having a boring day tomorrow if the weather is nice."
~~~~~~
When (Y/N) woke up the next morning, she completely forgot where she was. The bed was far too soft to be the one in her dorm at Oxford, and it was certainly too hot to be just a normal day during the schooling semester.
Not to mention the fact that there was a body laying under her.
(Y/N)'s eyes snapped open as she realized her head was resting on Felix's chest, and his arm around wrapped around her. At some point in the night, they must've shifted so that they were cuddling. (Y/N) wasn't sure if she should pull away or stay where she was. What would Felix's reaction be when he woke up and found them both in such a compromising position?
A knock came at her door. "Miss. (Y/N)?"
It was Duncan's voice. Now she was definitely panicking.
"Just checking if you're awake," he added.
"Uh...yeah! I am Duncan!" she called back.
"Breakfast is being served in ten minutes. Do wake up master Felix and let him know as well. His mother will want him to punctual since she didn't get as much time with him last night."
Her face burned. She wondered if Duncan knew Felix was in here with her, or if he meant for her to go over to Felix's room to wake him.
The sound of footsteps retreating down the hallway told her that Duncan had walked away. She let out a breath, relaxing into Felix's side yet again. She felt him move beneath her and she quickly pulled out of his arms before he started to wake up.
She was shocked at how beautiful he looked in the morning. The same perfect beauty he had when he fell asleep. Not a single hair out of place, no drool on his lips, no sleepy gunk in his eyes. It was really unfair just how perfect he really was.
His eyes slowly blinked open and he smiled when he saw (Y/N) looking down at him. "Good morning."
"Morning," she said. "Uh, Duncan was just here. He said breakfast is in ten minutes."
Felix groaned. "I don't want to get up yet. Why does mum have to have breakfast so early?"
(Y/N) looked at the clock hung on the wall. "It's almost 10am."
"Far too early to wake up in the summer."
She couldn't help but chuckle a little. Felix stretched his arms out and sat up as well. His face was suddenly very close to hers, almost too close.
"I suppose I should get ready for breakfast then," he said.
"Is there any dress code for breakfast?"
He shook his head. "Not for breakfast, but the dress code for today's events is a bathing suit. Once we finish eating, I'm taking you down to the lake."
~~~~~~
A few hours later, (Y/N) was following Felix towards the lake next to his house. It was a scorching hot day outside. One that was definitely better spent in the cooling water instead of cooped up inside.
Farleigh and Venetia were already by the lake. Farleigh was laid back on a towel, reading some book, while Venetia was sat by the lake with her feet in the water. She looked over her shoulder as she heard the two approach and smiled.
"Well, here they are!" she announced. "Finally you're here."
"Pull up a towel," Farleigh said, not looking up from his book.
(Y/N) went to sit on the grass, but Venetia called, "Not you! You're joining me down here. I've been surrounded by this testosterone for far too long."
She wasn't about to argue. She was already coated in sweat just from walking down from the house. (Y/N) sat beside Venetia and placed her feet in the water. The sudden cold was like a shock to her system, but definitely a welcome one.
"So, (Y/N)," Venetia said, "tell me, how did you and my brother meet?"
"We were in class together," (Y/N) responded. "I helped him with an assigned reading he had trouble with."
"Saved my ass from failing that surprise test the professor gave us," Felix added.
"It wasn't a surprise, he told us about it the class before," (Y/N) said.
"I wasn't there that class, so it was a surprise to me."
"Was that the day you were too hungover after a dorm party on a Sunday night?" Farleigh asked.
"A Sunday?!" (Y/N) laughed.
"It was a surprise party for one of my friends in the dorm," Felix responded. "He had gone home for the weekend so we had to have the party that Sunday. I didn't plan to get fucked up that night."
"You never do," Farleigh commented.
"What about your family, (Y/N)?" Venetia interrupted. "Are they okay with you spending your summer with a load of strangers?"
Felix opened his mouth to deter his sister from asking, but (Y/N) cut him off by saying, "My parents are dead."
A silence fell over them. Venetia looked a mixture of horrified and sad. Farleigh lowered his book to look over at (Y/N). Felix was trying not to look at any of them while (Y/N) was fixing her attention on the water in front of her. She was running her feet back and forth, disrupting the otherwise calm water.
"They died when I was ten," she continued. "Car accident, drunk driver. I've lived with my grandparents since then, but my grandpa died a year ago and my gran is starting to develop dementia. When I got accepted into Oxford, I made a deal with the Dean that I could stay on campus during the summers until I could afford my own place."
Venetia looked like she was about to cry. (Y/N) suddenly wished she had lied and made up some story about her parents.
"Way to ruin the moon, V," Farleigh commented.
"I didn't know!" Venetia retorted.
"No, it's fine," (Y/N) cut off their bickering. "It's tough, but I've had years to come to terms with all the death, and gran is in a nursing home now so she's being taken care of. I don't want anyone to tip toe around me like I'm made of glass."
As if to make her point, (Y/N) pushed off the edge of the lake and into the water. She shrieked as the cold engulfed her. Venetia followed suit, and soon enough both of them had convinced Farleigh and Felix to get into the water as well. The conversation was long forgotten as they swam around, splashing one another as if they were children.
~~~~~~
That night, (Y/N) was sat in the garden underneath her bedroom window. With the sun gone down, the air had cooled off, but only slightly. The room was still too stuffy for her, and opening the window just made it worse, so she opted to sit out in the cool air before she tried to sleep again.
Footsteps approached and she expected it to be Felix. When she turned, she was surprised to see Venetia instead, dressed in a sheer nightgown and carrying a lit cigarette between her fingers.
"Mind if I sit?" Venetia asked.
"I feel like I should be the one asking you that, considering it's your house."
Venetia chuckled and sat next to her.
(Y/N)'s first impression of Venetia had been wrong, and she was kind of glad it had been. She thought that, like Farleigh, Venetia was also going to be a little catty and condescending towards her. But after their day by the lake, she felt a sort of kinship with Venetia. They were the only two young girls at Saltburn, they had to look out for one another at the very least.
"So, how are you enjoying your stay so far?" Venetia asked.
"It's lovely here," (Y/N) said. "Much better than spending the summer at the Oxford campus along. At least there's a lot of the house to explore, and at least two people who seem to want me here."
"Three, if you count mum. She's ecstatic to have you. If you're not careful, she might just try and adopt you."
"I wouldn't complain."
Venetia took a drag from her cigarette and blew the smoke into the air. "And, um...has Felix been treating you well?"
(Y/N) looked over at her with confusion. "I'd...say more than well. Why?"
"I just..." Venetia leaned over, resting her arms against her legs. "I'm not saying this to try and scare you or anything. I truly like you, (Y/N), and I just want to warn you because I know how my brother is. He often takes someone who is a little more...damaged than him under his wing and brings them back here for a few months. But once the summer ends, or once he's lost interest, he casts them aside for whatever new shiny toy catches his attention."
Venetia's words hit (Y/N) like a ton of bricks. She had been telling herself for months since meeting Felix that their friendship was too good to be true, that he was going to realize he was making a mistake and move on. But when he didn't, when he asked her back to his house for the summer, she thought that maybe she was wrong. Maybe he actually did care for her and wanted to be friends with her. She had a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe this summer would bring them closer together, that they could become more than just friends.
If anyone would know how Felix was, it would be Venetia. She was his sister. She had seen a lifetime of the way Felix acted with friends. If she was warning her of the possibility that Felix might toss her aside once the summer ended, then she felt inclined to believe Venetia.
"Again, I'm not telling you this as a way to make you upset," Venetia added. "Trust me, I want nothing more than for you to stay with us for the summer. I just really do not want you to get hurt if that's what happens with Felix."
Tears were forming in (Y/N)'s eyes again. She was having a harder time at fighting them than the night before after all Farleigh had said to her. She quickly stood and murmured a "goodnight" to Venetia before rushing back inside the house. She got to her bedroom just in time for the tears to start falling.
Stupid! You're so stupid for thinking you belonged here in his world. You're nothing more than a charity case for him!
(Y/N) sunk to the floor and buried her head in her hands. She cried and cried until the tears dried up and she was essentially dry sobbing. Her eyes felt heavy and her body was aching from being on the floor for so long. She just wanted to go to back to the school and pretend this entire trip never happened.
When she finally coaxed herself to stand, (Y/N) went to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth before bed. She looked at herself in the mirror and winced. Her eyes were swollen and red, her cheeks were flush, and there were tear stains on her cheeks from crying. She grabbed a face cloth and wet it down with warm water. Before she could start wiping her face, the door leading to Felix's room opened. She froze, the wet cloth in her hands.
"Hey," Felix said. She thought for a moment that he hadn't noticed her state, until suddenly he was beside her. "What happened? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," she said, wincing again at the sound of her horse voice.
"You don't look or sound fine."
She began to wipe her face, trying to ignore Felix's presence. As she rinsed the face cloth again, she said, "I think I'm going to call the Dean tomorrow to ask if my room is still available at the school, then look into getting the next train back to Oxford as soon as possible."
"What? Why? I thought you wanted to stay."
(Y/N) shook her head. "I don't belong here, Felix. This is your world, not mine. I'm just the girl with dead parents and a scholarship, struggling to figure out how or if I'll ever be financially stable enough to live on my own once the school kicks me out."
"What did Farleigh say to you?"
"It wasn't Farleigh!" she snapped, finally turning to face him. "It was Venetia! She told me that you don't let people stick around for long. That you take in the charity cases and toss them aside when you're bored. And I knew that's what was happening with me, I knew there was no way you could possibly want to be friends with me, but I was also stupid enough to let myself believe that maybe it was all real. That maybe you actually cared and you actually wanted me here!"
She was crying again. She must've looked and sounded insane. She wished she had never accepted Felix's offer to come here. She could only imagine what he would say about her when she left the next day.
"I'm not staying here and waiting to be hurt, Felix," she said. "You may think it's fun to toy with people's emotions, but I don't. Not when I trusted you in telling you about my parents, about my stories, about my sad little poor life."
She had more to say, although she wasn't sure if any of it would've made sense, but Felix cut her off before she could. He took hold of her face and pulled her in for a kiss. It surprised her at first and she pulled away almost immediately. He looked down at her, worried, like he was scared he had just crossed a line. When her brain finally caught up to what was happening, she quickly leaned back in to kiss him again.
Her hands held on to his shirt while one of his still cupped her face and the other started to move down her body. With one quick movement, he had lifted her up onto the counter and wrapped her legs around his waist. Her hands moved to tangle into his hair. His tongue moved across her bottom lip, silently asking for entrance to her mouth. She realized he was commando under his pajama pants when she felt him pressed against her, the only layer between being her panties as she was once again in the oversized shirt she had worn the night before.
Felix broke away first. She tried to follow him, but he held her back, a playful grin on his face.
"I don't want you to go," he said. "I want you here. Not just for this summer, but every summer from now on. I want you in my dorm room back at school, and eventually in my own place when we finish with school. I want you, (Y/N). You're not some toy to me."
"How long have you felt like this?" she asked.
"Since before I spoke to you in class that first day."
"Why did you wait so long to tell me?"
"I kept chickening out. Every girl I've been with has only wanted me for my money, or my looks, or both. No one has ever really cared for me as a person. When you did, it almost intimidated me. I needed to know for sure you'd be here for the long run, so I brought you home to see how you'd react to everything."
"Am I passing the test?"
He chuckled and kissed her again. "With flying colors."
She couldn't get enough of him; of his lips, his smile, his body against hers, his hands on her. She wanted all of him all the time. She suddenly never wanted to leave either of their rooms for the rest of the summer.
"You can still go back to school if you feel uncomfortable here. I wouldn't blame you there," he said. "But if you're going back, I'm coming with you."
She shook her head. "I couldn't take you away from your family."
"Then stay. I want you to be here, too. I want to be with you."
She grinned cheekily back at him. "If you're going to beg, you should be on your knees at least."
He raised an eyebrow at her. "If that's what you want."
She wanted all of him all the time, but she decided not to say that just yet. She was still a little cautious. She had to make sure Felix meant what he was saying, even if she felt deep down that he was. He needed to prove himself to her before she opened up that much to him.
But for now, she would definitely take the sight of him on his knees, his face between her legs as his hands pushed the shirt up around her hips.
5K notes · View notes
i think your love would be too much ; satoru gojo
summary; satoru knows that you’re worried about something. he just doesn’t know what.
word count; 4.1k
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, sickening amounts of fluff, (that’s literally all. that’s it. thank you for your time), you’re both down horrendous, the ”something” reader is worried about is very very silly <333, mostly satoru’s pov!!
a/n; i love this man so fucking much my chest hurts so i dug up the sappiest wip i could find in my drafts <333 you can tell i completely lost the plot halfway through but just pretend that i didn’t ok. i dedicate this to gojo nation :3
Tumblr media
satoru feels your stare prickle at the back of his neck.
he’s rummaging through the fridge, one hand on his hip, grabbing two cans of iced tea from the bottom compartment. peach for him, lime for you. his infinity is down, the pads of his fingers meeting chilled aluminum, condensation licking at his skin.
but the goosebumps that sensation causes is nothing compared to the ones he gets from this — your stare digging into the back of his head, your attention aimed directly at him. when he turns around, closing the fridge with a bump of his hipbone, you freeze. like a deer caught in headlights. 
satoru grins.
”you checkin’ me out?”
”no,” you blurt. his smile only grows.
”aw…” he waltzes across the room, from the kitchen island to the living room, fuzzy socks against the floorboards. ”what’s up, then? something on your mind?”
with a clink, he puts the cans of tea down on the coffee table. you murmur out a breath of thanks, but make no move to reach for either of them.
now that he’s close enough to see you properly — he thinks to himself that you do look a little ill at ease. something in the crease between your brows, shying away from the eye contact he wants. something in the way your voice comes out somewhat strained.
”it’s nothing… i just —” 
you stop. gaze fleeing from his own, slipping down to your lap. he thinks you look particularly small like this. curled up on his expensive couch, curling in on yourself; gnawing at your bottom lip.
”… i’m being dumb.”
he hums. tilting his head, taking you in — wasting no more than a mere moment before taking action. 
you feel him plop down next to you, a shift in the weight bearing down on his couch. comforting. when you glance up, he’s smiling, patient and light. hand sneakily slipping between the cracks of your own, squeezing your palm, running his thumb over the ridges of your knuckle.
”wanna tell me about it?”
from behind the black layer of glass obscuring your frame, satoru watches you intently. watches your expression shift, drinking in the twitch of your brows, how the colour of your eyes flickers in the light. the way your soul sulks and sputters under the weight of his all-seeing gaze. 
you part your lips. slowly, searching for the right words — only to close them again.
you try once more. hesitant. 
all you can manage is a frustrated huff.
”it’s nothing, honestly,” you’re quick to backtrack, wincing inwardly. ”i've just… been thinking. i guess.”
a hum. his smile doesn’t waver. ”about what?”
you avert your gaze. biting your lip, again, turning away from him; resting your chin on the heel of your palm. avoiding his stare like it could turn you to stone. he barely picks up on the words you murmur, flowing out beneath your breath.
”i... can't tell you.”
satoru raises a brow. 
a moment passes. two, three — the silence is telling. you can hear the discontentment in his voice, despite his attempts to mask it.
”why not?”
”i… haah.” you scoot away, just a little more, turning away so he can’t dissect your expression the way he’d like to. ”i just can’t, okay?”
silently, silently, he observes you. the little of you he can see, at the very least; fixating on the side of your face, your cheek, those fluttering eyelashes. as if it could tell him something. you can’t see the way his eyes narrow, behind his shades, black glass shielding you from the weight of his scrutiny.
satoru bites back a huff. 
curiosity and impatience aside, he feels offended. thoroughly so. he doesn't like it when you shut him out, like this, when you don’t allow him to soothe you.
your relationship has been a slow one — steady, a kind of settling in that he never thought he’d experience. calm waves lapping along the edges of smooth sand, washing away tiny pebbles and handfuls of sea glass; delicately coming closer. getting him used to the sensation before gently urging him to take a dip. 
that’s the kind of love you share. 
so it stings, a little, when you won’t let him return the favour. it stings in the same way his phantom scars itch on cold nights.
he knows opening up isn't easy. for you, for anyone, least of all for him — but he still finds himself feeling a little bit dejected. because he's supposed to be your safe space. the person you can trust with absolutely anything.
(if he can’t be that, for you, then what the hell is he even good for?)
he can’t help but feel the slightest tug of worry, too. seeing the tight line of your closed lips, that hardness of your expression. the unmistakable stress accumulating in the corners of your eyes.
but he doesn’t voice that worry. he simply gives your hand another squeeze, and smiles a little wider. ”try me.”
a sigh flows from your lips. 
”you don't get it, satoru.”
your voice has a bite to it, now, just a little harsh. something akin to a soft hiss — defensiveness, he ultimately settles on. but why?
”it’s —” you muster up a glance his way, the slightest little peek, before turning away again. blurting out the words on the tip of your tongue. ”it’s so fucking embarrassing. you’ll laugh.”
satoru blinks.
”… huh?”
”you’ll laugh, and you'll tease me, and — ” he feels your hand slip from his own, muffling a groan as it covers your face. ”i’ll never live it down.”
you’re hiding, squirming, and satoru’s curiosity increases at an alarming rate. he leans forward, trying to catch a glimpse of your face, but you don’t let him. 
now he’s nothing short of intrigued.
”i won't,” he says, simply. voice as clear as glass. you scoff into your hands.
”you will!”
”i promise you i won't laugh.”
”you always say that.” a sigh falls from your lips, deep and heavy, as your hands finally slip down to your lap. ”but you never mean it. you’ll laugh so much. i know you will.”
you bite down on your lip. he wants to cup your jaw and kiss you, mend the bruising with a swipe of his tongue — but he tactfully decides against it.
”it’s — it's so…” you trail off, fidgeting with your hands, nervously linking your fingers together. gazing down with a pout. ”so stupid.” 
”baby…”  his voice takes on a fond tone, tender and patient. everything he strives to be, when it comes to you; you and you alone. ”c’mon. you can tell me anything.” 
with a sense of delicacy, he takes your hands into his bigger ones. tucking them into his palms, bringing them into his own lap — meeting your meek eyes. 
”right?”
through the blue of his gaze, he watches you falter. watches your eyes soften, crumbling a little, as you silently weigh your options. you look flustered.
then you slowly part your lips.
”you’re gonna think i’m just joking, or whatever, but — but i mean it. i’m…” your throat bobs with a shallow gulp. ”i’m seriously worried.” 
satoru nods. ”i’ll take you seriously.”
you look up. all you’re met with is a reassuring smile, familiar dimples, the slightest hint of a kind blue behind his shades.
and you finally give in.
”i… i think i might —”
shifting and squirming, your gaze flits from spot to spot, hands still intertwined with his own. you’re caged in, forced to face him, and it only adds to your nervosity. his eyes never leave your face.
”i think… i…”
your voice comes out sounding tiny. gaze stuck to the couch beneath you, as your lips form around the right syllables, and you finally blurt out out the words you've been trying to keep at bay —
”i think i love you too much.”
silence.
you still refuse to meet his gaze. a red hue crawls up your neck, spreading to the tips of your ears, heartbeat pounding under your ribs. the sentence spills out of your lips like an arrow; so rushed he barely deciphers it in time.
before the silence can swallow you whole, you continue. trying not to stammer, holding back an embarrassed wince. pouting softly, brows furrowed as your clammy hands twitch anxiously against his own. ”like... to the point where… it drives me a little insane.”
and then you wait. with bated breath, too embarrassed to look up, bottom lip tensing and softening between your teeth. dreading the explosive reaction he’ll undoubtedly give you.
… except it doesn’t come.
he’s not saying a word. nothing. the silence is so deafening you could cut it in half, lingering, festering in the air around you. all you hear is your own stupid, erratic little heartbeat — refusing to settle down. 
a couple painful moments pass, before you physically can't take it anymore.
as slowly as you can muster, your gaze travels upwards — from his lap to his chest to his exposed collarbone, until his face finally enters your field of vision. you can’t resist the temptation.
(why is he being so quiet? satoru is never quiet.)
you meet his gaze. or what you think is his gaze, anyhow, because you can’t see the way his eyes are squeezed shut. what you do notice is the twitch of his lips, quivering ever so slightly, as if unsure of which direction to go — and you know one of satoru’s sharp teeth must be biting down hard to keep them in place. his shoulders are shaking, only barely, and he breathes out sharply through his nose; in a desperate attempt to keep his promise.
desperately struggling to maintain his composure. 
he makes the mistake of opening his eyes, and all that effort goes down the drain. met with the sight of your flushed face, wide eyes, shining with embarrassment and disbelief. 
like a stack of cards blown over by the wind, satoru’s poker face crumbles. he fails to bite back the wide grin that breaks out across his lips, showing off the white of his teeth, and a soft bout of fresh laughter flows from out his lips.
you gape at him. 
then your brows furrow, harshly, and you choke on a scoff. with a start, you’re scrambling to stand up, tugging your hands away from his. 
”see?” you hiss, almost tripping over your own two feet as you shoot up from the couch. ”i told you! you're laughing!”
you sound so embarrassed he thinks he might cry.
satoru gives up. laughter reverberating throughout his entire body, deep and loud, from the very bottom of his gut — enough to have him clutching at his sides. that only makes you flush deeper, glare harder, and all he can think is that he wants to kiss you silly.
”you promised!”
”i’m —” he chokes on a sharp wheeze, one hand reaching out to keep you from leaving. ”i’m sorry, baby, i —”
but he only ends up doubling over. sputtering with laughter, feeling the leather of the couch meet his cheek. you turn away sharply, and he pulls himself up again. ”wait — sweetheart —” 
a fond chuckle rumbles through his chest, his long arms circling around your waist and pulling you into his embrace. caging you in. you struggle helplessly, trying desperately to break free, but it’s useless — he’s the strongest for a reason.
all you can do is writhe and grumble under your breath, inhaling a familiar scent of vanilla and musk. the fabric softener he uses puts your senses hopelessly at ease, but he’s still laughing — so you can’t help but kick and struggle seamlessly.
”let me go, satoru!”
said man chokes on another little laugh, shoulders shaking, tucking you so close he can feel the pitter patter of your heartbeat against his stomach. you’re so upset with him. but he can’t stop, can't reel it back in, and every weak punch to his chest and muffled protest just makes his composure feel more out of reach. he tried his best. 
he really, really did. 
he tried so hard not to laugh.
(”i think i love you too much.”)
god. just what is he supposed to do with you, huh?
”i’m sorry,” he grins, almost entirely out of breath. ”’m not doing it on purpose, you're just —” 
a sudden fit of giggles. 
"you're so cute.”
”satoru, it’s — not funny,” you whine, practically burning up. every single sound he makes buzzes in your ear. ”i’m serious. i —”
you squeeze your eyes shut. giving in, finally, allowing yourself to melt into his arms. limbs losing their feistiness. he delights in the sensation.
”you don't get it.”
it’s a whisper, muffled against the fabric of his shirt, but he hears it nonetheless. deep breaths, he reminds himself. it’s hard to take such an adorable confession seriously, but he tries. for whatever reason, you genuinely sound troubled. 
”wait, so you —” he bites back an amused breath, but can’t hide the palpable smile in his voice. ”you love me… too much?”
a groan. you hide away, nuzzling further into his chest; your safe harbour. 
”… i told you it was embarrassing.”
”it’s not,” he’s quick to console you. ”i’m just confused.” his palm glides across the back of your head, smoothing down your tousled hair, a grounding weight. he pats your head softly. ”i mean…” 
a deep inhale. his heartbeat finally settles into a calm rhythm, slow and steady, lungs flooding with oxygen. he breathes out through his nose.
”is that really such a bad thing?”
”it is.” a frown finds its way onto your lips. your reply is instantaneous. ”i don’t think it’s normal. i’m just…”
satoru listens. patiently, feeling your fingers grip onto the edges of his shirt — comforting yourself with the soft fabric. then you sigh.
”i don’t know. i just can’t, like…” you grapple for the right word, moving your hands haphazardly, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. ”comprehend how much i love you.”
satoru bites back a smile. 
(his heart flutters, flutters, flutters, like cherry blossoms on a windy spring morning.)
before he has the chance to, you part your lips again; speaking in a soft voice. resigned, he thinks. ”it’s just weird. it’s not exactly bad, but —” 
you bite down on your lip. 
”... it’s scary.”
a soft coo buzzes in your ear. satoru can’t help but pull you closer, closer still, smothering you in the warmth of his embrace. conveying what he knows will be too much for you to hear in words — what he knows he couldn’t convey in the language that you speak. you feel warm, still burning up a bit. like a little firefly. 
he isn’t faring much better, though; a vague heat blooming under the skin of his nape. smiling so wide his cheeks are starting to hurt.
(what on earth did he do to deserve you?)
a firm jaw settles on the top of your head. satoru parts his glossy lips, voice flowing out somewhat breathlessly, affectionate as can be. 
”don’t you think i feel exactly the same about you?”
his pulse trembles against you. when you strain your ears, you can hear the rhythmic thumping of his heartbeat, mingling with your own; still resounding in your ears. 
”… i dunno.”
satoru’s hold around you tightens, ever so slightly. something in the way he cradles you, strong arms around your waist, a low hum accompanying the light squeeze of his limbs. he can’t see your face, from this angle, but his pupils still flicker downwards — hungry for a glimpse of your expression.
then he smiles. 
”i’m terrified of you, y’know?”
you blink. once, then twice, eyelids fluttering. a moment of silence passes.
”… huh?”
”beyond terrified, actually,” his smile builds into a grin. ”i’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it. no one scares me more than you do.”
satoru pulls away, just a little, just enough to finally get a good look at you. your eyes are brimming with confusion. a large palm goes to cradle your cheek, and he tilts his head — inhaling a breath.
”i love you so much that it hurts.”
a soft chuckle slips from out his lips, when he catches your flustered, wide-eyed stare. sneaking a hand towards the small of your back, leaning in to press a kiss against the apple of your cheek.
”i adore you,” he whispers, smooth syllables melting into a purr. you stiffen under his touch. his fingertips trace the lines of your jaw, lips trailing down to your neck, chaste and sweet as he nips at the sensitive skin. muttering under his breath. ”you have no idea.”
and you truly, truly don't. satoru doesn't think you even know the half of it. 
you can’t possibly know what you mean to him — that your very presence makes him forget who he is, what he has to be, a weight on his shoulders he grew used to long ago. you can’t possibly know that just the feeling of your hand in his makes the distance between you feel so inconsequential. 
you are the most precious thing in his life. he doesn't think you could ever understand the weight that sentiment carries — he wouldn't want you to. 
and here you are, so awfully worried, because you're too in love with him. he still can't help but grin. you’re so sweet, so silly. the words make him feel as if his heart is crumbling.
”… i can't believe you’re real sometimes.”
something tender rests under the whisper. something frighteningly sincere. it makes you feel a little like you’ve been sliced open. it’s raw, it’s heavy and light and it’s love. it’s satoru — all his little inconsistencies, and the stability beneath it all. 
and some part of you knows that he's telling the truth. that he understands your ridiculous little confession, your embarrassing worries. satoru understands. 
that alone is enough to quell the turmoil in your chest. 
(what he gives you is a love as boundless as the sky; one that covers everything you could ever be. unconditional.)
”so there’s no need to worry.” 
he pulls back, lips leaving your skin. you still feel their warmth linger. his shades have slipped down, barely hanging on to the bridge of his nose, and you can see the blue of his eyes. they’re shining like jewels, soft around the edges. consumed by love.
”there’s no way you could ever love me as much as i love you.”
gazing into his eyes, as if hypnotized by their glow, your own gleam with a mesmerizing shine. glazed over with something sweet and wonderful, something satoru wants to burn into his retinas so he never forgets it. he wishes he could wring it out of you and put it in his pocket — but it looks prettier behind your cornea.
he savours the moment, slowly, until it abruptly ends.
with a second of pause, your brows draw together, forming into an irritated furrow. lips tugging downwards into a frown. ”that’s not true.”
satoru blinks. still smiling. 
”i love you way more,” you huff. petulant, almost, something soft and amused in your tone. he thinks the sound fits you more than anything; unburdened and stubborn.
(as charming as you are, though — this is one battle he refuses to lose.)
”nu-uh,” he pokes the tip of your nose, delighting in the soft flutter of your blinking eyelashes. ”i love you more. sorry, sweetie.”
a huff. ”you don't.”
”i do.”
”you don't."
this time, you're the one reaching out, the pad of your finger landing on the tip of satoru’s nose — teasingly trailing up to the bridge of it. his heartbeat stutters, but he feigns nonchalance, raising an unimpressed brow; eyes unknowingly gleaming with mirth. 
and mischief.
you barely have time to react. one moment you're seated on satoru’s lap, the next you're looking up at him with your back against the couch. he towers over you, keeping your hands pinned above your head with a single palm. 
a familiar chill runs down your spine.
”i do,” he grins, free hand reaching towards you. recognizing the danger of a situation you've been in more times than you can count, you try to squirm away — but you don't get very far.
satoru’s fingers ghost over your sides, and panic floods your wide eyes. 
even though you know exactly what’s about to happen, a yelp pushes past your lips when he begins to tickle you. mercilessly, fingers trailing over your most sensitive spots. all you can do is squirm, trying your damnedest to bite back the bout of laughter crawling up your throat —
but apparently neither of you are very good at that.
when the familiar cling of your laughter finally spills past your lips, flowing into satoru’s ears, his smile blooms into a grin. big and happy, childish in its innocence — not even attempting to hide his joy. his own giggles melt into your soft wheezes and desperate pleas, as you struggle to break free, straining against the firm hold he has on your wrists.
”i love you way, way, way more,” he continues to tease, halting his movement just enough to let you catch your breath. ”it’s not even close.”
even as giggles breathlessly spill from your lips, you manage a shake of your head. ”no, you —”
”wrong answer.”
he cuts you off with a smirk, and the torture starts anew. you can't get the words out, caught in your throat and muffled by a loud squeak, followed by forced laughter. satoru watches, in pure adoration, waiting for the moment you finally relent. 
it doesn’t take long.
”f — fine, fine!”
he stills. eyes crinkled, shades barely hanging on to the bridge of his nose, fighting the urge to keep going. if only so he can hear your melodic giggles.
”can’t we —” you struggle to catch your breath, words stuck between bouts of leftover laughter. cheeks flushed and chest heaving. ”just call it a tie?”
satoru pauses. he drags it out, exaggerated, building up suspense. eyes narrowing playfully. ”hmmm…” 
then he smiles. a soft, resigned little thing. 
”alright, alright.” he leans forward, keeping you in place. ”that works, i guess.”
his lips meet yours. soft and glossy, tasting of cherries, exhaling a pleased sigh against your mouth. you’re still panting a little, but he doesn’t seem to mind. slow to pull away, with a drawn out mwah, grinning boyishly down at your disheveled state. he lets your wrists go free.
an unimpressed look is all you give him, quick to melt into a soft chuckle. 
”well, that’s that.” you push yourself up with your elbows, fixing your tousled hair. ”now we can forget this ever happened.”
satoru raises a brow. 
”oh, i dunno about that,” he purrs, voice ripe with mischief. a teasing glint flashes in his eyes, as he scrutinizes you, and it’s enough to have your face heating up again. the sight makes him coo. ”you love me so much you can't comprehend it, huh?”
you blink. it takes a moment for your expression to shift, from bafflement to embarrassment — but he thinks it’s all worth it when it does. barely restraining the urge to kiss you again.
”satoru…”
a giggle leaves his lips. reaching a hand out, he pinches your cheek. ”you’re cute.”
with a roll of your eyes, you swat him away; unable to bite back a smile. “quit it.”
”aw.”
he looks so smug. you can’t help but want to bite back, somehow — so you muster up your most shit-eating grin, a distinctly teasing lilt coating your sugar-sweet voice. 
”you love me so much that it hurts, huh?”
satoru blinks.
endearment blooms, in the depths of his cerulean eyes. he watches you carefully, awfully amused — thinking to himself that he must be rubbing off on you. what a scary thought.
”yeah,” he breathes, a sigh laced with sincerity. cupping your cheek with the palm of his hand, settling on the option he knows will fluster you most. ”i do.”
this time, you’re the one who blinks. once, twice, before letting out a groan — slumping against his broad frame. satoru chuckles, breathlessly, consumed by you; by every move you make. all six of his eyes aimed directly at you.
(if he gives you the sky, then what you give him is a love as steady as the ocean; one that’ll drown every bit of his sadness. unyielding.)
”can’t you ever just let me win?” you mutter, breathing in his cologne and tugging at his shirt. pressed up against him, on his couch, safe and secure. right where you should be.
he noses at your neck, pressing a little kiss against your pulsepoint. a quiet, quiet offering at the altar of your soul. ”nope,” he hums, smiling cheekily. 
”i love you too much for that.”
2K notes · View notes