#i mean damn we truly were strangers he never even met the adult me

[natandacat]

wait this deserves its own weirded out post

NINE YEARS???

[utterlyhopeful-fics]

Midnight Magic

A/N: Wrote a smutty part 2 to accompany you lovely folks! 🥰🥰

MASTERLIST

Henry Cavill x Reader

Also, if I keep tagging you and you’re not interested or want to be tagged; please let know!

Word Count: 1855k 

Warnings: MUCH PROMISED FLUFF, dirty talk, implied smut, foreplay, kissing, language, teasing

***********************************************

Y/N wasn’t someone to demand attention but tonight was a different story entirely. Whether it be the holiday magic in the air or the sheer happiness exuding from her beaming smile, they’d never know for sure.  She glazed into the fireplace awaiting the arrival of her midnight kiss to show up. The embers flickered uncontrollably creating a spellbinding illusion of comfort. The cerulean blue hue of her dress was majestically magnificent, custom designed to perfection leaving little to the imagination. Paired with a sexy high slit revealed the majority of her right leg; just enough access.

This New Year’s Eve Henry had the peculiar notion to get dressed up as if they were enjoying the evening out. Y/N almost died of happiness then and there seeing the childish reflection in her husband’s hypnotic orbs. 2020 was one helluva year and though it brought them closer than ever as a couple, Y/N wasn’t blind to the hardships occurring throughout the world.  

His loins stirred excitedly as lust glazed over his features growing semi-hard. The only barrier holding them from going at it like teenagers. He licked his lips in anticipation eager to have his wife all to himself. No lavish parties or parades of people to entertain this year, just the lot of them, alone and horny. He continued admiring her from afar pouring two flutes of champagne for the pair.

“You look positively scrumptious this evening, Mrs. Cavill.”

Henry silently crept from behind sneaking up unsuspectingly slow. Goosebumps riddled her gorgeous skin rippling in masses. His breath ticked the tiny, delicate hair adorning her neck shooting a pleasurable surge to her limbs. Both endlessly love drunk on one another. His sensational touch alone kicked every sense into overdrive, heightened every emotion he emitted. Y/N reached back entangling her fingers with his newly deemed ‘quarantine curls’ she’d loved to tug on. Small bites traced down her neck leaving small marks in his wake of destruction.

“May I add how delectable you are in a tuxedo, Hen? My god, my poor ovaries must be working overtime.”

A salacious smirk broke out on his lips eyeing her lustfully.

“You haven’t the finest clue what I want to do to you right now, my love.”

Her hips grinded back on their on accord knocking the air from his lungs. All his remaining blood rushed to the tip of his cock as his belly stirred in playful chaos. They swayed back and forth to the melody playing in the background both reflecting on their last year together.

Henry lined himself up with the shell of her ear wrapping his bulky arm firmly around her waist drawing her as close as possible.

“I’m truly astounded this is our 12th year celebrating as a couple.”

Y/N smiled thinking back when they first met. The year was 2008, Henry was a newly promoted regular to a Showtime series called The Tudors. Y/N was a brilliant writer, the brains behind the complex operation. Henry considered her the beauty and brains; Y/N hated when he talked down about himself saying she’d never once doubted the man who became a wonderful husband and even better daddy.

One unparticular day he’d spotted her struggling to balance a pretty hefty pile of scripts and tumbled right into him. Luckily, his super-size and strength kicked in just in time catching the eye of the attractive stranger. In that moment, Henry knew there was something about this woman he craved to figure out. He was just the lucky bastard on the reciprocating end.

“And thank god your parents volunteered to take the kiddos for the evening. Some private adult time is just what the doctor ordered. We owe them BIG time.”

Y/N winked leading him to decipher the meaning behind her blanket statements. She stepped from his grasp breaking his hold on her. He whined at the loss causing Y/N to eye him curiously.

Oh, you little tease.

Henry’s frisky nature broke through lighting the atmosphere around them. Due to the ongoing pandemic and what not, Henry and Y/N found themselves in wintry London at their main hub of a home. Henry’s roots were deep-rooted and his plea so passionate as she agreed to move across the world with him. Their lives halted for the better allowing the family to spend more time than usual as a unit. Though initially hectic and overwhelming, they were secretly thankful for these little moments with their four children. It was a time they so dearly valued at their imaginative ages.

“Oh, I bet my pops could sense the sexual tension oozing off you, darling. You smell mouthwatering.”

“Hush! Besides it is completely natural to pursue a sexual relationship with my husband outside of our children. Gotta keep you coming back for more…”

“Oh sweets, you have no earthly idea how bad I want to fuck you every day of my existence. You are absolutely divine and somehow all mine.”

“I can’t take all the credit. Nobody’s ever made me cum the way you managed to figure out. You play me like a damn instrument.”

“With pleasure.”

“Ugh, you’re insatiable.”

“Oh, come on. Your sex drive is just as insane as mine. Admit it!”

Y/N bit the inside of her lip collecting her thoughts. Henry pried and teased her ribs forcing her to his whims.

“Fine, fine, you win! I’m a ravenous feign when it comes to you. You’d think having kids would cool my jets but then I see these gorgeous faces I birthed and it’s like I reset. Poof, just like that.”

“Well you’re a phenomenal Mum and quite the MILF too.”

Henry inhaled her perfumed scent taking a long sip of bubbly; anything to keep him from combusting.

“Let’s toast, love. We must.”

“My my, how time flies when you’re having fun.”

Her manicured fingers reached for the chilled glass looking up at Henry and his three-month-old beard. She rose her glass slightly higher in preparation for his speech. Her eyes gleamed with pride as she admired her husband.

“Thank you for loving me, Henry. Seriously, you changed my life in so many profound ways.”

The sap in him was beginning to show as his eyes watered with unshed tears; “My love, it is I who should be thanking for you the unending shower of love and affection. You are the beautiful mother of our four wonderous kids who are the absolute lights of my life because of you. You’re a woman worthy of many praises than my silly ramblings. Cheers to you and for another adventure of a year!”

She swatted his chest immediately shutting him up; “Don’t say that! I am just as equally lucky to have found someone who gets me for …me. It’s a wonderful feeling to have you by my side even if I did have to kiss a few frogs.”

“No doubt I the best possible selection.”

Y/N played along jesting back; “I wouldn’t go that far, maybe the easiest?”

Gob smacked Henry’s wit was rapid fire; “If memory serves, you were there too. And just as ravenous.”

“I was about to get nailed by an insanely hot British man. Can you blame me?”

“One look from you and I was a bloody puddle. I had to recite rugby players to keep from losing my shit.”

No matter life’s challenges the past years of their lives, their resolution to stay equals and lovers was stronger than ever. A sinful glow overcame Y/N as she stared directly up at him; “Cheers to you fucking me stupid then?”

“As you wish.”

She refused to glance away maintaining his smoldering gaze; her Y/C eyes screamed sex. His pupils dilated just as his heart speed up voraciously. Both subconsciously tilted their heads oppositely neither daring to move first, unwilling to yield. Y/N challenged his masculinity testing him. Many words could be used to describe Y/N but priss wasn’t one of them.  

“Oi, you are a true keeper.”  

Y/N checked the matching wrist watch completing her outfit; “T-minus 15 seconds until 2021 is here.”

Still unbreaking of her gaze, Henry stayed silent taking in the beauty of his wife. He could stare at her for the rest of his god given days and die a spectacularly happy man.

10,9,8

“Oh Hen, another marvelous journey with you. Can’t wait to see what 2021 has in store for us.”

7,6

She stared down at his inviting pout unable to look away nor did she truly want to.

“Maybe thinking about another baby?”

Her eyes bulged from her skull as shock illuminated from her pores.

“You’re joshing me?”

His lack of response was more than confirmation enough.

5,4

“There’s something so ridiculously sexy about you being pregnant. I always knew I wanted kids but with you, oh with you I want to have as many as humanly possible. Our very own football team.”

Confusion stamped her features at his terminology. Sometimes Henry forgot they were from different countries.

“Football as in soccer. You know the game with the checkered ba—”

Y/N cut him off; “Jeez baby, save your mansplaining. I’ve been on this side of the pond long enough to understand your oh so clever references.”

3,2

The pros and cons bounced around in her head, doubt never far behind but the mischievous joy coming off him was tantalizing; “Let’s do it.”

2,1

Cheers rang ecstatically from the television as fireworks commanded their attention but they only had eyes for one another. Henry closed the gap kissing her feverishly. He was forever seared into her brain ruined for all other men. Lost in the moment, Y/N barely had time to set her glass down untrusting of her own balance anymore. Henry followed shortly behind. Now with her newfound freedom, Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck locking him in place. His questioning tone was almost cause for concern before his façade shattered.

“Really? I do so enjoy seeing you round with my babe. So, fucking irresistible.”

Henry’s jacket was long removed strewn over the couch. That left him standing only in his tight button up and trousers. Y/N merely leaned back his direction bringing his attention towards the zipper aligning her spine. Henry chuckled undoing her dress too easily watching the zipper flair apart. He couldn’t resist admiring the flex of her muscles and how striking she was. Tugging the material over the curvy hips, Y/N noticed Henry was far too overdressed.

“Take off your clothes, now.”

“You bossin me round, babe?”

His muscular tush ignited in minimal pain as her hand connected with his ass whipping rather harshly. A small red welt appeared instantly. Henry stood shocked as Y/N’s smug smile decorated her face.

“You really shouldn’t push me. I don’t like my authority questioned.”

Henry’s mood shifted at her use of roleplay knowing he was in for a well and good night. Henry stripped removing his boxer briefs last. Y/N strutted towards her bedside dresser pulling out a pair of metal handcuffs. Dangling them in front of him, she grinned bashfully; “You’re going to sit your ass on that bed and I’m going to tie you up now. Got it?”

~~~~~~~~~

Tags:  @thedeadhearted @giveusbackourbucky @henry-cavill-obsessed  @onlyhenrys @omgkatinka @thereisa8ella @threeminutesoflife @homewreckingwreck @gemini0410 @maan14@bluegalaxyprime @sofiebstar @whyyykitkat @encounterthepast  @readermia @ly-canthropewrites @scorpionchild81 @henrythickcavill @snowbellexx @stephartrave @agniavateira  @cap-barnes​ @henryfanfics101  @mary-ann84 @westcoast-nightowl @poledancingdinos​  @justaboringadult @peakygroupie  @nalathefirefly​ @vikingsbifrost​ @bloodyinspiredfuck​ @moderapoppins​ @cooldiva1234​ @icedcoffeeismythang​ @titty-teetee​ @summersong69​ @kaatelyyynn​ @missursulacalmet​ @michelehansel​ @iloveyouyen​ @shyshu​ @star017​ @raynosaurus-rex @radkesgirl83​ @starrynite7114​  @wheretheriversrunintothesea​ @i-love-scott-mccall​  @darkbooksarwin​ @ellieseymour70​ @designerwriterchic​ @studywithrosie01​ @dangerouslovefanfic​ @lebguardians​ @crazybutconfidentaf​ @hen-cavill​  @cavill-sass​ @oh-for-fic-sake​ @icedbottles​ @buckysgoldenheart​ @brexrif​ @gryffindorwriter​ @laketaj24​ @foxyjwls007​ @lawsofthejungle​ @henrycavillfanpage​ @kaboogie21​ @fangirl199812​ @gothicninibalor​ @qualitynightkoala​ @strictlybuckybarnes​ @toomanyfandomsshreya​@hersilencescreams-blog​ @viking-raider​ @sesamepancakes​  @madbaddic7ed​ @fuckoffbard​ @funfickgirl22​ @inlovewithhisblueeyes​ @wolvesandhoundshowltogether​ @hoeforhenry​ @henrycavills-babe​ @abschaffer2​ @loving-this​ @one-of-those-fanfiction-blogs​ @lovelycavills​

[maraudersandlily20]

ok dorcas and marlene as chaotic professors at the same university? could be an AU, could just be Hogwarts

As told in Text Conversations: 

Groupchat: Picasso is a Bitch 

Dorcas: New Teacher alert.

Lily: Department?

Dorcas: Engineering

Remus: Sounds hot

Dorcas: shut up immediately.

Remus: you’re not my mom

Lily: M or F

Dorcas: F

Remus: Dammit

Lily: seem nice?

Dorcas: idk. I didn’t get the chance to actually talk to her. It was more like a moment in passing. She was surrounded by guys, though

Remus: what a lesbian move

Lily: how… how is that even a thing?

Remus: Lils, are you dumb? If girls ONLY hang out with guys, chances are they’re butch. Or they know they aren’t attracted to guys and are wild as fuck and have nothing to lose. They have no one to impress, really. Those are the only two options.

Dorcas: Jesus

Remus: No, I’m sure he wasn’t there

Dorcas: I have to leave this conversation before I physically kill Remus Lupin. Talk to you both later.

Lily: Lunch in our usual spot?

Remus: Tell me if you see the Lesbian again.

Remus: Also, where the fuck is Alice?

---

Groupchat: The Walking Dead

Sirius: Well lads, I dropped off the love of our lives at school. Felt like a proud parent. Almost cried.

Marlene: You are aware that I know how to make explosives from scratch right? I’ve been aching to do it for a while, so you wanna keep doing this? Is this happening?

James: I need him, though. We’re gonna get married eventually. So no. You are not allowed to blow him up

Marlene: Fuck

Peter: How's the new campus? 

Marlene: Small. I mean, it’s a lot smaller of a university, harder to get into and all that. But still. For a place that boasts a great deal of wealth, they certainly don’t show it in building size. 

Sirius: That’s how you know they have money. They have nothing to prove. Classic rich people move.

Peter: You should know.

James: Did you get settled though, Mars? 

Marlene: Enough. I still have to set up the lecture hall to my liking, but it’s nice to have an office that will probably be permanent. And I saw your door just a few down from mine, Jamie boy! Sirius: I should have become a professor. I feel left out. I hate being left out.

Peter: You have the right degree, Paddy. You could be a professor if you wanted.

Sirius: Desk jobs are gross. No thank you. Also, children.

Marlene: It’s not a desk job. And, like, these children are basically full grown adults.

Sirius: Physically, maybe. But I remember what we were like at their age. Mentally, they belong in daycare. 

James: You’re just bitter because those college boys outdrank you the other night.

Sirius: THEY FUCKING CHEATED!

Peter: They didn’t though

James: Whatever you say, Pads.

Marlene: Also, I just saw a very beautiful woman. Will keep you updated if I see her again.

Sirius: WHY ARE YOU ONLY SAYING THIS NOW?!?!

---

Groupchat: Picasso Is a Bitch name changed to Hamlet, that’s fucking gay

Remus: Any sign of the lesbian?

Dorcas: No. 

Alice: What? What Lesbian?

Lily: Oh, while you were sick, Dorcas saw a very pretty girl. Remus thinks she’s a lesbian.

Alice: Ooh, that’s fun! 

Remus: I don’t THINK Lily, I know. 

Dorcas: You haven’t even seen her

Remus: Irrelevant. 

Lily: Do you guys know if Potter is back?

Alice: I saw him this morning. He was getting coffee.

Remus: I love that man so much. He’s so beautiful I could literally cry. With that hot caramel skin and that wild hair and how he always smells like some weird spice. I want him to be the father of my children.

Lily: Don’t encourage him.

Remus: He’s not even here.

Lily: He can sense your enthusiasm. So shhhhh

Alice: Do we still not like him?

Lily: No.

Dorcas: You know it was an accident, Lils. 

Lily: You don’t know that. And I don’t know that. And who in their RIGHT MIND asks someone out after they’ve pushed them into a fountain? Like, the audacity?!

Remus: At least he’s authentic

Lily: Yeah, an authentic bitch. 

Alice: Lol.

Alice: I’m honestly really interested in this Lesbian situation, though. Can we get back to that?

Remus: She’s in the engineering department. So if your cute little math loving butt just wanted to wander over there…

Alice: I’m on my way. 

Dorcas: Why are we friends? You’re joking, right? Please tell me you’re joking.

Dorcas: ALICE

Lily: They’re doing it out of love.

Dorcas: Well their idea of love is something I am not interested in. 

Alice: Blonde?

Dorcas: Fuck.

Remus: Is she blonde, Dorcs?

Remus: IS SHE?!

Dorcas: Yeah.

Alice: Marlene McKinnon. Blonde, blue eyed, I’d say 5”8, 5”9. Masters in Engineering. Very nice.

Remus: Alice, I fucking love you

---

Groupchat: The Walking Dead changed to Update, I’m still gay

Sirius: Why the name change?

Marlene: Needed to get your attention

James: But like… with that?

Marlene: It fucking worked, didn’t it?

Peter: What happened?

Marlene: I saw that beautiful woman again. And I was right. She was beautiful.

Sirius: Sounds riveting.

Marlene: I told you I’d keep you updated, and I am. Stop being ungrateful.

Sirius: Yes commander

James: Who was it?

Marlene: Don’t know. Short, black, curly hair?

James: Where did you see her?

Marlene: She was getting a plate of spaghetti in the Canteen.

James: Hm……….. 

Sirius: James doesn’t know anyone because he’s too busy mooning over Evans.

James: I am so much stronger than you. Do not come for me right now

Peter: Sirius, you have an appointment here, come down.

Sirius: Fuck. 

James: Peter, you know you can just text him personally, right?

Peter: I can’t shame him publicly if I only text him. 

Marlene: Facts.

James: Did you talk to her?

Marlene: Nah, she was with people. I wanted to though. She seems lovely. 

James: Lovely? Who are you and what have you done with Marlene McKinnon.

Marlene: She’s dead now. I’ve inhabited her body. 

Sirius: Thank god, she was a bitch.

Peter: SIRIUS

James: I’ll keep an eye out for her. Let me know if you want me to scout it out.

Marlene: Okay, James Bond

---

Groupchat: Hamlet, that’s fucking gay changed to Dorcas McKinnon has a nice ring to it

Dorcas: Remus, stop changing the group chat name. I know where you live.

Remus: We live with each other.

Dorcas: Exactly.

Lily: Are there lesbian updates????

Remus: I met her. She was wandering around, looking for a pop machine. 

Alice: Yay! I love Lesbian updates

Remus: Good news: she’s funny. Like, super funny.

Lily: Saying good news like that often means there is bad news to follow

Remus: She’s uh… friends with Potter.

Dorcas: Uh-oh.

Alice: Oh no.

Lily: I’m really sorry that you have to eternally break up with this woman, Dorky. Because NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. ANYONE who is friends with James Potter is not worth knowing.

Alice: That’s pretty judgemental, lils.

Lily: .... And?

Remus: Luckily, you don’t have to date her.

Dorcas: No one is dating ANYONE. Jesus, you guys. Chill out about this whole thing

Remus: I don’t think that’s physically possible. 

Dorcas: Can we talk about anything else?

Alice: Frank is taking me out for sushi tonight. 

Remus: I would marry Frank in five seconds, if he’d let me

Alice: I’ll let him know. 

Remus: Thank you, I appreciate it.

---

Groupchat: Update, I’m still gay changed to Emotionally Unavailable Idiots

Sirius: I have met the love of my life.

Marlene: Stop being dramatic

Sirius: Excuse me? EXCUSE ME? He quoted the Princess Bride with me. Word for Word? Marlene, I must marry this man. WHO IS HE?

Peter: Why do I keep missing all of the fun stuff?

James: The fun stuff is watching Sirius gay panic over a stranger?

Peter: Yeah. Obvs.

Marlene: He’s the lit professor.

James: Lupin?

Marlene: I think so, yeah. 

Sirius: An english nerd. Perfect. He can read me poetry while I give people tattoos. We’ll make millions. 

Marlene: I think… he wants to be my friend. He’s come around a few times. He even brought me coffee once, with a croissant. I didn’t know people were so nice to strangers. Am I in a hallmark film?

Peter: It’s cause you're such a catch, Mars. 

Marlene: I will shove that “catch” up your ass, Pettigrew, if you don’t stop being stupid.

James: Impossible. Stupidity is Peter’s middle name. 

Sirius: Yeah Peter Marcus Stupidity Pettigrew.

Peter: My middle name isn’t Marcus.

Sirius: Wait really?

Peter: No?

Sirius: Why the fuck did I think it was Marcus?

James: I think Lupin is bi, Sirius. So…

Sirius: James, you are the other love of my life. I will kiss you when you get home. You provide me with the most valuable information and attention. I can never truly repay you.

James: Finally. Getting the recognition I deserve. Can’t wait.

Sirius: Marlene, please. Be his friend, I am begging you. I will give you our first born child.

Marlene: Pass.

---

Groupchat: Dorcas McKinnon has a nice ring to it changed to I won’t hesitate bitch

Alice: Marlene is so nice

Lily: You’re all traitors. She’s friends with the enEMY

Dorcas: I thought Remus was supposed to be the dramatic one

Remus: I’ll take that as a compliment

Dorcas: Whatever helps you sleep at night. 

Alice: Seriously though. She’s so nice. A lot of my students have her and they’ve been gushing. Apparently she’s one of the best professors some of them have ever had.

Remus: Damn. High praise. 

Lily: Still skeptical

Alice: She asked about you, Dori. 

Dorcas: wait, what?

Remus: ALICE SAY MORE RIGHT NOW?!?!

Alice: She said she had noticed that you and I are close and she wanted to know about you. What your name is, what you teach, how long you’ve been working here, if you were single.

Dorcas: She did not ask that.

Remus: Dorcas, shut up forever. Alice is talking. Alice, my love, please continue. 

Alice: I may have invited her to eat lunch with us.

Dorcas: Uh…

Lily: You did what?

Alice: She’s new, Lily. I’m trying to help her make friends.

Lily: You did it, didn’t you. 

Alice: ummm

Lily: YOU TOLD HER SHE COULD BRING JAMES POTTER, DIDN’T YOU

Alice: He’s her friend. I couldn’t exclude him.

Lily: I never thought this would happen to me. To be betrayed so thoroughly by my own friends. I don’t even have the words. 

Alice: Who knows, it might be fun?

Remus: I’m so excited I could burst

Dorcas: Is it legal to drink on campus in the middle of the day?

Remus: Unfortunately not. Trust me, I’ve tried.

---

Marlene McKinnon to Dorcas Meadowes

Marlene: It was nice of all of you to invite me to lunch. I know it was probably awkward for all of you to have to spend time with a stranger. But I really appreciated it. 

Dorcas: No problem. You’re always welcome.

Marlene: Maybe… we could go get something to eat off campus sometime?

Dorcas: Yeah, of course. We go to the bar on Wright all the time.

Marlene: Oh, I meant like… just you and me. Actually.

Dorcas: Oh.

Marlene: Yeah. Did I guess wrong?

Dorcas: Guess wrong?

Marlene: About you being into women?

Dorcas: Ohhhh…

Marlene: ??

Dorcas: What did you have in mind? For our date?

Marlene: Wait, is that a yes?

Dorcas: I expect like, first class treatment, because I’ve seen you in action now. Anyone who can wrangle James Potter like that is someone who deserves knowing. So yeah. It’s a yes.

Marlene: Yay! Okay, you won’t regret it!

Marlene: Also, my friend is in love with Lupin.

Dorcas: wait, James? 

Marlene: Lol. Nah, James is still hung up on Lily. She’s wonderful, by the way. Tell her I’m grateful she was so kind. I know about what James did last year, so I can understand her bitterness. Fucking funny, though, to see it in person.

Marlene: It’s my other friend, Sirius. He owns the tattoo parlor, Cannis Major, on Levi. 

Dorcas: Hmm. Well, let me know what I can do. I’m sure we can get them in the same room at some point.

Marlene: Are you offering to meddle in people’s lives?

Dorcas: Is that okay?

Marlene: Dorcas Meadowes, I’m pretty sure I’m already halfway in love with you. 

Dorcas: Thank god. 

--------------------

This has been in my ask box for literal months. I’m sorry @tonftyhw !! I had finals and stress and I don’t know how to write. I hope this makes you smile though.

Clarifier for who teaches what if anyone is interested:

Lily-History

Remus-Literature

Dorcas-Art (painting)

Alice-Math

James-Chemistry

Marlene-Engineering/Physics

Sirius owns a tattoo shop because I will die for that AU every time. And Peter works with him, kind of like the brains of the business.

Should I write more of this? It was so fun lol 

[writingblock101]

Waffles or Pancakes? (Tim Drake x Reader)

Miss me? More explanation at the bottom. Enjoy this vent fic! 

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2,600

Tags: @idkmanicantenglish @mayahoelland2013

You pick up a stone, fiddling with it in your hand. You don’t have daddy issues. The complicated relationship with your father doesn’t run that deep, and it definitely isn’t some kink… but there are a lot of unresolved problems threatening to boil over the surface. 

Complicated relationship...More like lack thereof. You suppose that’s what happens when you have divorced parents, and you only see your dad every other weekend. Then other shit happens, he marries the wrong woman, you get older and more involved in your own life, and there’s not much effort on either side. You suppose that’s the origin of most of these problems, but you’re not the adult in this situation, dammit! 

You throw the rock in frustration, watching it disappear off the side of the building, then a puddle of dread pools in your stomach. You’re on top of a building, and pedestrians are walking below, minding their own business. Sure, it may be close to 3 a.m. in Gotham, but still! Your actions have consequences. 

You rush to the side of the building to make sure you didn’t bodily injure some random person, only to look down and see empty streets. Your pebble most likely joined another heap of loose asphalt. Plopping down heavily onto the ledge of the apartment building, you stare into the streets below and idly wonder if Batman and Robin are patrolling. When do they ever sleep? Do they sleep? 

You should be asleep, and you know it. You said good night to the friend you were messaging over an hour ago, but instead of rolling over and passing out, your mind wandered to your family, specifically your father. Probably because you’re going to be seeing him in a few days for the holidays. It’s not exactly dread. Your father is a very loving man who loves you very much, but it never felt like he put effort into your relationship. Of course, it wasn’t until you were older that you realized how little effort he genuinely put in. As a child, you strived for his love, his approval, his interest. That’s what you really wanted. You knew he loved you and was so proud of you, but you also knew he was never truly interested in you or your life. And that stung. 

So now, instead of ever bringing up your dad during therapy, you’re sitting on a roof, throwing rocks into the abyss, and getting teary-eyed over arguments that will never happen. 

“Care for some company?” A voice startles you. 

You turn to see Red Robin of all people, standing a few feet away and looking as non-threatening as possible. You shrug and gesture to the ledge. 

“Plenty of ledge here for the both of us. Besides, I’m sure you could teach me a few things about perching on tall buildings.” 

Red Robin chuckles and moves to the edge of the building. He tosses his legs over the side, sitting a foot away from you, and stares out on the city. You wonder what he sees when he looks on the city. He, Batman, Robin, and Red Hood protect Gotham for whatever reason. You’re not sure this cesspool deserves it, but apparently, they see something in it. 

“I wasn’t going to jump,” You tell him. 

“I didn’t think you were,” He responds simply. 

“I’m not suicidal,” You plow ahead. “I don’t want to die, but I kept spiraling the longer I laid in bed.” 

Red Robin nods along, like he gets it, like he understands. And maybe he does. You suppose despite all the rumors about the Bats, they probably are normal humans under those cowls and masks. Humans with a deathwish, but at this point, who isn’t? 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He offers quietly. 

“With you?” You raise an eyebrow. 

Red Robin pretends to look around the empty rooftop. 

“Well, unless you’re seeing someone that I’m not, then yeah, with me.” 

He chuckles at his own joke, and silence falls between you two again. 

“I know it’s weird,” Red Robin admits. “To talk about something that’s probably really personal with a total stranger, but I’d figure I’d offer. Talking… It helps. So if you don’t talk to me, you should think about talking to someone.” 

You pause, mulling over his words. You don’t know Red Robin. You’re pretty sure Red Robin doesn’t know you. But why would he want to listen to some pity party at 3 am on some random apartment rooftop? Surely, he has better things to do. 

But he sat down. He offered. He’s making an effort. 

That’s more than some people can say. 

You sigh heavily, your shoulders slumping. 

“It’s my dad,” You finally admit. “We’ve always had a… complicated relationship. It’s not that he doesn’t love me-- he very clearly does. He’s always been a very affectionate man, but… it feels like he was never really interested in my life. Not in a malicious way, but in an oblivious way. And when it was happening before my eyes, I was a kid, so I didn’t see it, but now being older… It’s more obvious. It’s so clear that he doesn’t know me… And it stings.” 

Red Robin listens patiently, nodding along with your words. He says nothing, letting you speak. 

“And in my head, I keep bringing up things that happened years ago that still bother me so much, but it was so many years ago. He probably doesn’t remember because he doesn’t think they’re significant moments, you know? It’s things he said in passing that he doesn’t think of as hurtful that left… Much deeper marks than I’m willing to admit.”

You sigh, scrubbing your face in frustration at the burning in your eyes. You don’t want to cry. You don’t like crying. You don’t care if you need to cry-- you cried earlier, and now, you’re not going to cry in front of Red Robin about your damn daddy issues (okay, maybe they are daddy issues, but you’re sure as hell not going to be calling anyone “daddy” in the bedroom). 

“I just… I’m tired. I’m tired of trying to put effort into a relationship that he doesn’t seem to want to put effort into. And the thing is, I doubt he even realizes that he’s doing it! If I talked to him, I’m sure we could figure something out, but… I’m not sure I want to… I love my dad very much, and I know he loves me… But I don’t think I like him.” 

Right as the words pass your lips, you feel instant regret seize your chest. 

“Oh, God, does that make me a bad person?” You bury your face in your hands, fighting back the watering in your eyes. “He’s such a loving man. He’s a damn bleeding heart, and I know if he heard me say that, it would break his heart!” 

The thought alone sends tears spilling over onto your cheeks. You love your dad, you don’t want to see him heartbroken, but it’s getting harder to ignore your own bruises. 

Red Robin scoots closer to you, rubbing your back soothingly. 

“No, it doesn’t make you a bad person,” He tells you softly. “It sounds like you’re really hurt. While we can love our family, it’s hard to like someone who’s brought you so much pain.” 

“But he… He’s so sweet,” You sob, taking a stuttering breath. “He’s one of the most loving people I’ve ever met.” 

“But that doesn’t mean he can’t hurt you,” Red Robin tells you gently. 

The tears well up in your eyes again, and you give up trying to make any sense of your thoughts. Instead, you let the tears fall. Red Robin pulls in arm around your shoulders, rubbing your arm as you lean against him and silently cry. 

You two sit there in silence for what must be an hour before you finally sit up and rub your face. 

“Well, that’s certainly not how I expected this to go,” You admit sheepishly, wiping your face. “Sorry for making you listen to my dumb sob story.” 

“I’ve been there,” Red Robin offers a tissue that he produced from somewhere on his suit. “It’s not dumb. Having someone who will listen makes all the difference.” 

“Thanks,” You say softly, offering a watery smile as you blow your nose and finish wiping your face off. 

“Are you hungry?” He offers. 

“Hungry?” 

Red Robin shrugs. 

“Crying takes it out of you. And it sounds like you’ve had a long night. How about some 4 am breakfast?” 

“But I don’t have my wallet,” You dumbly state as if not having a wallet is the only issue with his proposal. 

Red Robin waves you off. 

“It’s my treat.” 

You look down at your clothes: sneakers, mismatching socks, stained sweatpants, an old sleep shirt, and the first jacket you could find in your room, which was a jean jacket. 

“You look fine,” He assures you. “Besides, it’s 4 am. If anything, you fit the vibe more than I do.” 

You giggle at that, grimacing at how tight your face feels from the crying and the snot dripping from your nose. Wiping your nose with your sleeve, you glance around the rooftop. 

“How are we going to get there? I don’t have a car.” 

Red Robin pulls what looks to be a grappling hook from his side. 

“I have an idea. But I have one important question before we proceed.” 

You look at him warily. 

“Do you trust me?” He asks. 

And considering you just cried on his shoulder for the past hour and info dumped a small piece of your tragic backstory, you suppose you kind of do.

“Yeah,” You tell him. 

“Great,” He smiles. “That wasn’t the important question, but that was needed information. Get on my back.” 

You blink at him. 

“Um. What?” 

“Get on my back,” Red Robin repeats like it’s the most simple thing in the world. “I’m going to swing us to a breakfast place,” He waves his grappling hook.

“Um.” 

“You said you trust me,” Red Robin reminds you. 

And you suppose you did say that, didn’t you? He does this just about every night, he can keep you safe… Hopefully. 

Red Robin bends down so you can hop onto his back. Once he’s sure you’re securely situated with your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, Red Robin climbs up on the ledge of the apartment. Your grip tightens as he stands dangerously close to the edge. 

“Wait,” You say before he jumps. 

Red Robin turns his head in acknowledgment. 

“What was the important question?” 

He grins at you. 

“Waffles or pancakes?” 

“What?” 

“Waffles or pancakes?” Red Robin repeats like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

“That was your important question?” You shake your head in disbelief. 

“It is an important question,” He insists. 

You pause for a moment, pondering your answer. 

“Pancakes,” You say decisively. 

“Good answer,” Red Robin grins, then steps off the building. 

For a moment, your breath is stuck in your throat as everything tenses, bracing for impact. Then, there’s a tugging—something dragging you away from the ground in a long arch. You tear your eyes away from the ground to see Red Robin almost effortlessly swinging with his grappling hook. Every shot is perfectly timed and calculated. It looks like second nature at this point, and it makes you wonder how long Red Robin has been doing this. Who is Red Robin under the cowl?

Eventually, you land in front of a mom and pop dinner which advertises 24/7 breakfast. 

“It doesn’t look like much, but this place has the best pancakes,” Red Robin promises as you slide off his back. 

You shrug, looking up at the old sign and well-loved booths inside. 

“Like you said, it fits the vibe.” 

Red Robin grins and opens the door for you. He directs you to a booth in the back. An older waitress comes by your table holding two mugs and a pot of coffee.

“Hey, Red,” She greets, looking tired but friendly. “Who’s your friend?” 

Red Robin glances over at you with a small smile. 

“A fellow pancake lover.” 

The waitress chuckles as she pours him a cup of coffee. 

“Coffee?” She offers you. 

“Uh, sure,” You’re doubtful that you’ll drink it since pulling an all-nighter sounds less than ideal but holding something warm sounds nice. 

“So, a stack of pancakes for both of you then?” The waitress asks, not bothering to write down the simple order. 

“That sounds great, Brooke,” Red Robin smiles. 

“Sure thing,” Brooke heads back to the kitchen to place the order, leaving you at the table with Red Robin. 

You blow on your hot coffee and wrap your fingers around the mug, enjoying the heat. 

“Alright, another important question for you,” Red Robin begins as he adds sugar and cream to his coffee. 

You smile, ready for this all-important question with rapt attention. 

“Acceptable toppings on pancakes?” 

Midway through your heated debate about which fruits are acceptable to top pancakes with (“Oh, so pineapple can go on pizza, but it can’t go on pancakes?!”), Brooke drops off two stacks of fluffy, golden brown pancakes. While Red Robin is wrong about pancake toppings, he wasn’t lying about these pancakes being delicious.

“Okay,” You say through a mouthful of heavenly pancake. “These pancakes are delicious, but I cannot fathom the thought of you ruining them with Miracle Whip.” 

“It sounds weird, I know,” Red Robin admits, opting to dunk his pancakes in syrup only, thank God. “But trust me.” 

“Miracle Whip,” You repeat. “Like the substitute for mayonnaise.” 

“It’s sweeter than mayo!” Red Robin argues. “It’s like a sweet cream on pancakes.” 

“I think you’ve had one too many concussions.” 

“Oh, really?” You’re sure that Red Robin is raising his eyebrows at you under his cowl, judging by the look on his face. “So, what’s your excuse for orange juice and chocolate chip cookies?” 

“Okay listen,” You point your fork at him. “I never said it was my idea. A friend made me try it, and it wasn’t the worst thing in the world!” 

“How can you question my judgment about Miracle Whip on pancakes when you eat orange juice with your cookies?!” 

“It’s not that different from drinking a glass of orange juice while eating a chocolate chip pancake!” 

“Yes, it absolutely is!” 

By the time you two have your fill of pancakes, coffee, and arguing, it’s close to five am. Red Robin drops you off on your apartment rooftop. 

“Thanks for the pancakes,” You smile, sliding off his back. “You’re right. I did need that.” 

“Helping is what we do,” He shrugs with a small smile. 

“If only someone could help your taste buds.” 

Red Robin laughs then shakes his head. 

“If you think mine are bad, you should see some of the things my siblings eat.” 

“There’s more of you?” You toss your head back dramatically. “What kind of cursed bloodline do you come from?!” 

Red Robin grins. 

“A diverse one,” He answers vaguely. 

“Seriously,” You tell him, sobering up. “Thank you.” 

“Anytime. If you ever need someone to talk to, go to the roof. I’ll be there,” Red Robin promises. 

“Thanks,” You say softly, then you kiss his cheek. “I’ll see you around, Red.” 

He’s frozen for a moment, then a smile stretches across his face. 

“See you around,” He solutes, then disappears into the night like the bat he is. 

You smile to yourself and walk back to your apartment. Some sleep sounds pretty good now…

So, hey guys! It’s been a minute... 4 months to be exact... Sorry about that. I’m not dead! Just in college. I just finished an 18 credit semester so I’ve been busy and tired. Next semester will not be better. It’s suppose to be my hardest semester of nursing school, so that’s great. I am hoping over break to work through some of my requests. I think to help I’m going to try to make them shorter. I also might delete some, so if yours gets deleted, I’m sorry. Eventually request will open again and you’ll be able to request, but as of now, I’m just trying to get content out and some of the things on the upcoming don’t really do it for me. Anyways, I’ve missed y’all and I’m sorry for the wait. Thank you for being patient, you guys are the best and I hope you enjoyed this vent fic! 

[analogicisms]

Music & Poetry - Chapter Three

Summary: Popular-but-not-really-famous lyricist Virgil Quinn meets an attractive poet named Logan who claims to hate music. Virgil, who believes lyrics to be every bit the poetry as the kind found in books and anthologies and inspirational posters, feels the need to prove to Logan wrong.

Ship: Analogical (with others in the background)

Rating & Warnings: PG 13.

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3

AO3: Chapter Three

Thanks to @romantichopelessly, @sunshineandteddybears and @paperghastly for pre-reading.

---------------------

Chapter Three

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♞ LOGAN ♞

Logan sat at the bar, phone in hand as he watched the front door, waiting for the man that he had just met that morning. If Thomas had told him earlier that day that he would meet a really attractive guy and later agree to have drinks with him, Logan would have inquired whether or not the Dean of Students had lost his mind. Then again, not all the men he met were like this one. And thank goodness, or he would never get any work done. 

 Just then the front door opened and Virgil stepped in. Logan ignored the heat that suddenly radiated from his ears and thanked his lucky stars that the bar they had agreed on was pretty dark due to dim lighting. Virgil reached him and grinned that damned attractive smile. Unfortunately, though he was happy his own blush was hidden, the dim lighting meant he would not be able to see Virgil’s cute blush. 

All the more reason to spend more time with him, Logan, the poet told himself. It was a good thing that he had agreed to spend a whole week with him. 

 Laughing to himself, he reminded himself to not count his chickens before they hatched. 

 Let’s get through tonight first.

 “Hello again, Virgil,” he greeted the emo man, holding out his hand. He watched as Virgil smiled and took it, Though he wasn’t sure if it was wishful thinking or not, Logan was fairly certain that the other’s face was just a bit darker across his cheeks. Damn but Virgil blushing did something to him. 

 “Heya, Logan.” A squeeze of his hand and it was released. Virgil took the empty barstool next to him and nodded in the general direction of the nearest bartender. “What’s your poison?”

 Logan considered. 

 “Scotch over ice, please.” 

 Virgil nodded and waved over a bartender. The bartender introduced herself as Quil and Virgil thanked her before ordering Logan a double shot of Scotch on the rocks and a White Russian for himself. 

 “A White Russian?” Logan inquired as he watched Quil walk away to make their drinks. “I am afraid I do not partake of alcohol usually and when I do drink I don’t usually stray from what I know.”

 “No worries, dude. A White Russian is a mixed drink made with Vodka, Kalua--that’s a coffee liqueur--and cream. It’s sweet but not too sweet like a lot of the other mixed drinks out there.”

 Logan nodded. “Why is it called a White Russian?”

 He watched as Virgil opened his mouth to answer but seemed to think better of it because he closed his mouth a second later. He then seemed to be in thought for a good few moments. A few seconds later Virgil shrugged. 

 “You know, I don’t actually know. I assume it is because it’s Vodka and the recipe gives it a sort of white, creamy color… but don’t quote me on that.”

 Logan considered the assumption and nodded. It definitely had merit, even if it wasn’t the actual reason. 

 “I suppose I can see that.” He nodded and allowed the little smile that tugged on his lips to spread across them. Virgil, his dark eyes meeting Logan’s, smiled back. Logan was very pleased to see the skin of Virgil’s cheeks darken just a bit once more. 

 Their conversation was paused when Quil returned with their drinks. Logan took his drink, eyeing Virgil’s with interest and curiosity. He sipped at his own, humming his pleasure as the rich, almost warm flavor coated his taste buds. A contented smile spread over his lips as the liquid slid down his throat and the drink was soon a steady but short-lived burn deep in his belly. 

 Opening his eyes, Logan caught his current company staring at him. When it was clear he had been caught, the other man blushed. This time there was no question in Logan’s mind that Virgil was blushing. A grin slipped onto his lips but he said nothing, allowing Virgil to glance away to catch his composure before the emo man looked his way again. 

 “So… how exactly do you plan to go about this little challenge?”

 Virgil blinked owlishly at him for a few moments, apparently having forgotten the whole reason they had started talking in the first place. Logan waited, certain it would come back to him soon enough. He was correct in his guess as a moment later, Virgil let out a sound of exasperation. 

 “Oh… yeah. Well, I honestly just planned to sit us down and play music for us to listen to… uh… together…”

 Logan smirked. 

 “What makes you think your company alone will make a difference?”

 Virgil shook his head. 

 “I don’t think my company will make a difference… not really. I do think that my insight into the music might help though.”

 Logan nodded. He had to hand it to the man. Though he was quite obviously not in Science or Medicine or Law, the man seemed to be pretty intelligent. 

 Attractive and smart… there is no way this man is this perfect.

 He did wonder at that. Usually, when people seemed too good to be true, it was because they were. Usually, his instincts were pretty reliable when it came to that and when they weren’t, common sense kicked in. In Virgil’s case, however, Logan felt as if he could already trust him. That didn’t mean he would not continue to be on guard but it did mean he could afford to relax a little. 

 Lifting his drink, he watched as Virgil did the same. He didn’t mean to stare but Virgil was far too fascinating. He was also very attractive. Logan was not used to being so interested in someone. Least of all a stranger. And yet, for some reason, Virgil didn’t feel like a stranger. 

 Uh oh. If he was actually feeling things then that was it. He was too far gone. 

 Remy is right. I am a disaster gay.

 He sighed. 

 Unfortunately, Virgil heard it. Immediately the look in the other’s eyes told him all the worries and fears that were suddenly invading the emo man’s mind. 

 Aha. He’s got severe anxiety.

 Well, that was okay. Logan might not have been in tune with his own feelings most of the time but, when it came to anxiety, typically common sense and logic were great combatants against it. 

 “I’m sorry, Logan. Am I keeping you out too late or--”

 Logan held his hand up and shook his head. 

 “No. I want to be here. If I thought it was too late or if I had not wanted to come, I wouldn’t have.”

 Blunt but to the point. No room for argument.

 Virgil still looked like he wanted to argue but Logan knew his logic was flawless and so the man said nothing. That was not good either though. 

 Logan frowned to see Virgil staring at his drink. Logan glanced at it too and it was then an idea came to him. Sure, it was not his style but he had seen similar flirtation tactics throughout his years as an adult and from the little he knew about Virgil, he was pretty sure this one would work. 

 Saying nothing, Logan reached out and took Virgil’s glass in hand, pulling it toward him. Virgil looked at him incredulously, eyes widening as Logan’s lips closed around the very same straw he had been sipping out from. Though he hadn’t necessarily chosen the tactic to taste Virgil’s drink of choice, the moment the concoction hit his tongue, he let out a happy sound. 

 “Oh. Wow. That really is good.” He smiled Virgil’s way, pretending not to notice the sudden flush of Virgil’s face which was now red enough that even the dimmed atmosphere of the bar could not hide it. Logan tilted his head, looking innocent. “You don’t mind sharing with me, right?”

 He then took another sip, this time holding the other’s gaze as he did. Another happy sound escaped him because truly--it was appetizing. Logan licked his lips as he set the glass back down on Virgil’s coaster, gaze still holding that of the other man’s. 

 “Unless you do mind sharing with me?”

   ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆

💀 VIRGIL 💀

“Unless you do mind sharing with me?”

 Virgil was pretty certain that he was dreaming. He had somehow fallen asleep and dreamed Logan agreed to meet him and now that dream had made Logan a flirt and… 

 “Sorry.”

 Virgil blinked and shook his head. 

 “No! No it’s totally fine! Totally cool! No big!”

 Not as if you just indirectly kissed me or anything!

 Except that was exactly what he had done. Still, Virgil did not want Logan to feel as if Virgil minded his company or his tasting his beverage. 

 “We can um… we can share this one and get another after?”

 Virgil couldn’t help the blush that rose in his cheeks once more as Logan smiled agreeably. 

 “Sure. Perhaps you would like a taste of mine?”

 Virgil was so desperate for something to do, he took hold of Logan’s glass, brought it to his lips, and drank. Perhaps a little too deeply. 

 Swallowing hard, he coughed at the sudden intense burn. Setting the glass back down on Logan’s coaster, Virgil quickly drank from his own drink. 

 There’s that indirect kiss.

 Another blush. 

 “Should we flag down the bartender for another?”

 Virgil blinked and looked down at the glass in his hand. 

 “Oh. I didn’t realize I’d finished it.”

 “Well, I may have drank from it at first as a flirtation tactic but it truly is quite satisfactory in taste.”

 Virgil blinked. 

 “You just admitted to flirting with me…”

 This time Virgil caught Logan’s blush and he couldn’t help the smile that slipped onto his face.

 “I just worried that you might be talking yourself out of seeing it so I wanted to confirm… just so there is no question in your mind that I am attracted to you. I am also keeping myself from talking myself out of… whatever this is.”

 Virgil blushed as Logan’s blush doubled. 

 “Aren’t we just a nutty pair?”

 Logan nodded. Virgil smiled and looked away from Logan to flag down a bartender. Quil caught his movements and joined them a second later. 

 “What else can I get for ya?”

 “Two waters and another White Russian please.” 

 Quil nodded and made fast work of creating the beverages. Placing the waters down first, she then placed the White Russian in front of Virgil. 

 Thanking her, Virgil closed out their tab and tipped her. He then turned back to his date and smiled, lifting the glass to sip from the straw before passing it to Logan. He watched as Logan drank a sizable sip before it was passed to Virgil once more. 

 “I was serious, you know?” Virgil began, setting the drink down on its coaster. “About trying to change your mind about music… it wasn’t just an excuse to spend more time with you but… that is definitely a bonus that I don’t feel too bad about exploiting.” 

 He laughed deeply and leaned in closer to the other man who subconsciously mirrored his actions. There was very little space between them now. Virgil took in the other’s stormy grey eyes and the slight bags under his eyes. No doubt from late hours spent up writing. Virgil felt for him. 

 “I know.” 

 Virgil blinked. Logan smirked at him. 

 “It was because you were serious that my interest was piqued.”

 “Oh.” 

 Logan laughed, the sound almost melodic in the way it seemed to caress his eardrums. He shrugged and then slid a little closer to the edge of his barstool. Virgil watched as this caused the other’s knees to press against his own. Swallowing hard, Virgil brought a hand up to rub at the back of his neck but forced himself to hold Logan’s gaze. He hoped it was not wishful thinking that the hungry look he saw in those deep grey eyes was there. 

 “Yeah… not every day some random stranger makes it his purpose to change my mind… which, I should warn you is not an easy task. The fact that you are really attractive and funny… those are bonuses for me. Your passion and conviction for music though, that I find very commendable, so I’ll allow you to try to change my mind. Just don’t be surprised if you cannot.”

 Virgil allowed a sheepish grin. 

 “I’m a lyricist. To me, lyrics are every bit the poetry that poets write. Just put to a melody. The melody pulls people in and the words get people to stay. They get people coming back.”

 “Well, now I understand why you were so adamant.”

 Virgil watched as Logan reached for the White Russian, his own beverage forgotten. He sipped deeply, the contented sound leaving him as his eyes met and held Virgil’s gaze. A smirk slowly slipped onto the poet’s lip as he continued to drink. Virgil raised a brow in curiosity but as Logan only continued to drink from the glass, it became clear that he was not going to stop unless Virgil stopped him. 

 “That good, hm?”

 Logan nodded, eyes bright. 

 “Then who am I to stop you.” 

 And then he winked. 

 Of all the stupid things⁠—oh my he blushes so prettily.

 Logan had indeed blushed at his wink.

 “Did you want—”

 Virgil shook his head. 

 “You drink it… I like the idea that I turned you on to White Russians.”

 Logan laughed at that and finished off the beverage.

 “Do you want another?” Virgil asked. 

 Logan shook his head, setting the glass back on the coaster. 

 “No… I actually don’t spend a lot of time in bars or drinking… not that there’s anything wrong with it, of course. Just do not typically have reason to. I do know, however, that I am not ready to end the night here with you… would you want to maybe walk around for a bit? Unless you need to call it a night. It is getting pretty late…”

 Virgil snorted. “For most people, sure. I don’t do a lot of sleeping at night. Insomnia.”

 Logan nodded in understanding. “Same.”

 Virgil left a couple more dollars for Quil and nodded at the door. 

 “A walk, though, sounds great.”

 Logan smiled and Virgil grinned in response. Neither made any motion to move, however, which had Virgil laughing. 

 “One of us is gonna have to move first and—”

 Lips pressed against his own out of nowhere, Virgil’s eyes widening before his brain and body got back on track with one another. Logan’s eyes were closed and so Virgil closed his own, pressing gently into the kiss. Logan was the one to pull away and it was his turn to look sheepish. 

 “Sorry about that… I just… I just really wanted to kiss you.”

 Virgil shook his head. 

 “No! Don’t apologize. I… I enjoyed it… a lot.”

 Virgil and Logan both blushed and giggled. The giggling only set them off more until they were laughing and clinging to each other. When they stopped to catch their breath, Virgil decided it was his turn to be brave and reached out, framing the other’s face with his hand before closing his eyes as he leaned in to kiss Logan a little more deeply this time. The kiss lasted longer than the first, Logan deepening it halfway through which only urged Virgil on. 

 “Ah… so… that walk…”

 Virgil nodded. 

 “Right. Walk.”

 Logan bit his lip and glanced down at his lap before looking up once more. 

 “My hotel is not far from here…”

 Virgil blushed but nodded.

 “Well, I suppose it’s time I walked you home.”

 With that, Virgil slipped from the barstool and, after some consideration, offered his hand to Logan. The man considered but ultimately took it, slipping off his own bar stool to join him. 

 Together, the two left the bar and walked out into the night. 

  ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆

Disclaimer:  The author does not own Sanders Sides or any of the characters found therein. They are also not affiliated with Thomas Sanders, Joan Stokes, or the Thomas Sanders team. Only the complete story as it is written is the property of the author and is not to be copied or reposted without express permission from the author.

[noahhernandez]

2/9/2015 v. 8/11/2020

1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. My favorite movie is Scream, and it started when I saw the midnight premier of Scream 4 with my dad back when I was in 8th grade, then Scream 1 came on AMC late on night and I just really like it

I still think Scream is one of my favorites, but Halloween has jumped up there just because I am obsessed with all things horror really lol. I started to love Halloween because of the new trilogy.

2:Talk about your first kiss. It’s really not that interesting but really like embarrassing. It was with my first boyfriend and I had just turned 15 and we were at the school just walking around and we went into the band hall and I was like ok im leaving and he was like wait and we kissed and i was like o

the same ! 

3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. I never really have had intense feelings for anyone. I d k

One my exes- I mean we were dating for awhile so that’s pretty intense to me. 

4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far. I regret… Nothing really I mean, I have done really bad things in my life, but i don’t regret them

I regret failing like 2 semesters of college lmao and almost dropping out. If i didn’t then I would 1- would have been done earlier and 2- would have already completed a year of grad school but IDK also another is wasting lots of money in 2017-2018

5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. The best birthday I’ve had was.. Idk This year was was nice I saw Iggy Azalea in concert, then I celebrated my friends’ birthday then mine and it was just everyone got to get together so ya this year my 18th

For my 21st birthday I went to Portland, Oregon and spent the weekend there and it was pretty and my first time there so it was nice despite what I think about PDX now. I don’t even know what I was doing for my 19 and 20th birthday lol. 

6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. My 17th birthday because I was stuck 2 hours away from home with a bunch of nerds doing a band competition 

That is still probably my worst birthday. I forget to mention that I was gone literally from like 7am to midnight. They werent a bunch of loser nerds, they were my friends, but I still wish I was just at home lol. 

7:Talk about your biggest insecurity. I am skinny, but not fit. If I eat anything I get this like stomach and it makes me so sad. and ever since I got a job I work odd hours and I eat a lot of fast food and I’ve gained 10 pounds in 2 years and I guess i’m insecure about my weight

I am still insecure about my weight, and I probably weight like 5 pounds more than I did when I made this post 5 1/2 years ago. 

8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of. We have band banquets for band, and I only went my sophomore and junior year, and seniors give out awards to underclassmen that are just jokes really, and both years 4 different seniors gave me an award for being the biggest gossip in the entire band and I was proud of that lol

Well since then I have graduated both high school and college. I am proud that I finished college !! A BS in Psych. Proud of myself that I got promoted (in 2017) at my job; i’m proud of myself that I have my own apartment, and blah blah basically just doing regular adult shit. 

9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my nose because of how perfectly fixed it is. I also really like my freckles/moles/dark marks idk what they are exactly, but they’re on my face and they look great

I still feel the same way about this, maybe add my eyebrows- they’re not like clean and nice they’re just expression markers on my face that i love.

10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. I got into a fight with my old friend Angelica and that was almost 4 months ago and we used to be best friends and now we never talk.

When Janett didn’t talk to me all summer of 2019 because I told our other friend Angel something

11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. I cant remember one 12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. I can’t remember one

13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The closest thing i’ve had to like sex was being locked in a back of an SUV with a stranger drunk as fuck and naked and its embarrassing

Just awkward and nothing to which I expected. 

14:Talk about a vacation. When I was 16, the high school band took a trip to Hawaii, and all my friends were in band so it was great. We did a lot of things, we toured Pearl Harbor and even played a few patriotic songs on the USS Miss. and our hotel was on Wakiki beach. I went snorkeling in some beautiful water and shit and idk just walked all around Hawaii having a great time omg we got on stage at the Hard Rock Cafe and sang with German people i miss it

Hm that was fun. But I.. went to NY with my ex and that was pretty cool because I literally love New York, and I went to NOLA two years ago (today actually) and got miserably drunk so that was fun too 

15:Talk about the time you were most content in life. Probably just in the middle of junior year when everything and everyone was going with the flow

I feel like 2016 was a very content year because I remember nothing about it. 

16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. Idk which one to talk about the one where I had a lot of fun and risked my life or the one where there was a lot of drama stirred up and drank myself to sadness. 

I haven’t really been to a party? I have gone out and had good times. Really anytime my friends and I go out I am having a good time 

17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with. I am already friends with people I want to be friends with

18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I kissed a boy on the back of the head and i told I just fell onto his head

Let me think of another one. Back in like fourth grade my friend was in a wheel chair and his backpack was falling from the back and I was trying to grab it and i was only 3 feet tall i couldnt see over or wasnt paying attention and i crashed him right into the bookshelves at the library. 

19:Talk about something that happened in middle school. A girl was mad at me because idk why lol and she pushed me in the hall way and I fucking flew across that hall on the floor and hit the wall she’s pregnant now

When I was in 5th grade (which is considered middle school in my district) I was standing on the play ground and someone threw a stick at my head and it knocked me the fuck out and I was bleeding from my temple.

20:Talk about something that happened in high school. In Jr. Year I was pulling into the parking lot but I was texting and I accidentally put half my car on grass area near the side walk luckily it was 7am and only one person saw me do it lol

One summer going into our senior year we had a party at Michelle’s house. First of all we were very drunk and Coby’s parents were like we are coming over and we cleaned TF UP so fast and sat on the couch and turned on I Know What You Did Last Summer and his parents were like interesting and and left and then we continued to drink anyways- we started playing truth or dare and my friend Angelica was like I dare u to kiss Anthony (someone I had liked prior) and he wouldnt and we started attacking him and calling him homophobic and hitting him with pillows lmao- him and I are still friend-ish

21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I can’t think of something right now.

Literally anyone on grindr.

22:Talk about your worst fear. I’m afraid of having no career and being stuck doing something I hate and living paycheck to paycheck

Yeah, I’m scared of that still but I.. think just like being broke and jobless. RN with the pandemic we aren’t really working and still getting gov’t assistance, so.  IDK being a real real adult scares me a lot. 

23:Talk about a time someone turned you down. I can’t think of a time :)

One time in like 2016 maybe idk - this dude told me to come over and he lived far like not that far maybe 25 minutes lol far for me anyways I got to his apartment and there was a gate code and i asked him what it was and he didnt answer and it was like 2-3am and nobody was coming in or out and so i was like damn this sucks lmao

24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. Nothing really has meant a lot to me. Everyone tells me the same thing over and over again and its so surface level

I still can’t think of anything but I’m sure the friends I have met since this and my friends Faith, Michelle, Peter, and Alisa have said something supportive that meant a lot to me. 

25:Talk about an ex-best friend. Angelica Ramirez. She was my best friend for only 3 years, but together we went through A LOT of shit. We started out senior year just fine, but she lied about a few things and made a lot of us feel like crap in October. I won’t lie, I do miss her. We have too many memories to just forget, too many funny stories and great adventures. She helped me with too much, and sometimes I think about how I cut her out of my life and I mad a bad choice. But only time can heal things and I have moved on and truly found people that won’t make me mad every 30 seconds. 

Brianna Pajak, I don’t remember anything about her except she was poor and we stopped being friends because she always wanted to fight and be annoying. 

26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Lay on bed on my computer and watch TV

I normally just suffer and cry about wishing I was healthy again.

27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. Their…!!>>>??? 

I must have nice hands and ur nose must be nice too! so nose and hands. lol

28:Talk about your fetishes. none

yeah I don’t have any lol not that I can think of. 

29:Talk about what turns you on. Idk i really like kissing and touching and this is awkward. 

30:Talk about what turns you off. bad breath by

that and ugly/rough hands, acne sorry i know it is natural but, shorter than me lol, white people, long hair on guys, and thats about it i think hm i am single yes 

31:Talk about what you think death is like. I think its like idk its scary tho

um idk i dont like thinking about death because i literally want to cry when i think about it. 

32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. I remember being in trees a lot

My step grandma’s a lot because my parents were working and she would watch us. She passed away about a month ago :( 

33:Talk about what you do when you are sad. I usually only tell one person and that person is Alisa and I cry sometimes to her and expect her to make things better and she does thank u

I be doing the same thing, I text someone and that person could really be anyone but it happened the other day and I texted Bri and she was very helpful. 

34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. I have no idea, I’ve never broken pulled strained twisted fractures or anything i have no life

I still haven’t done any of that stuff to my body. I also have burn scars but I did not feel those when it was happening. I would just say i guess my wisdom teeth coming in because I did not get them removed. I have 3 out lol.

35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Pushing potential love interests away 

I have had some ‘love interests’ since this post, but it’s been about a year now since and I kind of push away the opportunity of getting close to someone. I also need to stop being a bitch sometimes. 

36:Talk about your guilty pleasures. eating 

I would say idk eating was a stupid answer. 

37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. never

I was in love and i didn’t ‘think’ I was in love. I don’t know what you mean by talk about them, they were my partner but we broke up hehe.

38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Fireflies by Owl City reminds me of my 7th grade crush Fancy by Iggy Azalea reminds me of my two friends Michelle and Alisa idk anything else

um Idk. i rly cant think  39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. I wish I would have known that

That it’s okay to tell people you’re struggling lol . That is okay to fail sometimes (school).  40:Talk about the end of something in your life. everything is just about to start

When I ended how to get away with murder I wish I never did I love that show with all my heart. 

[borhap-au]

Joe Mazzello: the fluffy chronicles.

Joe’s girl feels down and needs him to be there for her.

 He knew something was wrong. You could see it from just looking at him. He wasn’t like he always was. He was not playful, he didn’t crack jokes. He didn’t smile. He knew you felt bad. And – what broke your heart to a thousand pieces – he thought it was his fault.

“Please, please, please, just tell me” he looked you deep in the eyes, holding your hands in his. He was leaning towards you, sitting on the chair opposite you. Your mind was pure chaos. You knew well what was bothering you, despite telling him you were just in bad mood, without a reason. Yet it was so hard to say out loud. It wasn’t a one-time thing, it was happening for quite a long time… And you never truly admitted to anyone what was going on in your head. But it was the right time, the only right time if there ever was one. Right here and there – just to reassure the man you loved more than anything else in the world that it was not his fault.

“Where do I start… Well, fuck. Do you really feel like listening to all this? Because it is a long story, and as much as it’s important to me, I know nobody else cares, so…” you started. You honestly doubted he was ready for what’s about to come. He probably thought it was just about a stupid fight with your friend, or that you didn’t fit in your favourite jeans. He didn’t know how deeply it was rooted in your brain.

“Yes. I am ready and willing to listen to you no matter how long you want to speak. Please, tell me everything. I’m begging you” you smiled sadly looking at him. Despite feeling down you knew one thing – Joe was perfect. He was the perfect boyfriend, he was so loving, caring, so sweet. And you wanted to give him much more than you believed you were.

“I hate myself” he wanted to interrupt, but you didn’t allow him. “Just let me get all of this out of my chest. Then you can say whatever you want about it.” He nodded slowly letting you proceed.

“It’s not a new thing, I did since I was like… 12? You know, I was one of the cool kids when I was very young. I was believed to be pretty, smart, interesting. Always told by everyone I will go far, I will go wherever I want actually. Got the best grades, boys were interested in me, I had expensive clothes, beautiful hair… You know, the things that are important when you’re 12. And then I entered my teenage years and the reality hit me. Hard. I got much fatter than I used to be, I got acne, I heard for the first time that I’m ugly. We got new subjects and there were kids I could never catch up with, because I prefer languages, history. I was never good at physics or PE. I realised I’m more of an introvert type. I got less and less popular. I had a really toxic best friend that bent my worldview, but also my self-esteem. I was always in her shadow and at her every wish. I’m pretty sure my parents just got me because well, they… happened to have me. Neither of them is really meant to be a parent, they don’t know what they’re doing, really. And when I got into my rebel phase, they never understood me. They still don’t. Nobody in my family really does. They’re all like: “socialize more” or “lose some weight” or “all your problems start with you.” Well of course they start with me, Karen, I am the problem! I’m never good enough. All the people around me make me feel bad about who I am. I’m an introvert, and logically, there is nothing bad about it. It’s just the type of personality I have. But no. “You should go out! Meet people! You’re like a freak all by yourself in your room. You don’t socialize because you have no friends, is that the case?” Or if I’m shy and I don’t feel ready to be an adult yet, I’m scared to go on a job interview, I don’t like strangers, I have a fear of being rejected. And it is not my fault. I’m just that kind of a person. I do make money, just differently, I teach a few kids I know. But no, all the other people my age make fucking millions. “Oh, your cousin has bought a house. Your friend is balancing three job and college. Oh, my friend’s son is travelling all around the world.” Oh, well, good for them for fuck’s sake. I’m not like them. I’m not perfect. Just tell me I’m a fucking disappointment already. Just disown me. Because all of those little comments just make me feel like shit. And yes, it took me years to find a boyfriend so I obviously heard about it too. “Oh, you’re just jealous it’s not you.” No, I’m not jealous. And even if I was, I still wouldn’t like listening about other people’s love and sex life. I’m just not interested in those things. Honestly, I try to be a good friend, but when you’re the only single person that constantly need to give advices to those in relationships… It gets tiring. And of course nobody has ever been proud of me, not since childhood. I try, and try, and work my ass off and when I for example score 90% from a very difficult exam, all I hear is “why not 100%?” I’m not smart enough. I stress about everything. And when I stress, I eat. So I can’t just get slimmer. I can’t get motivation to work out, because I can’t get a motivation to live. I don’t feel like getting out of bed. I’m not smart, pretty, skinny… Not even interesting or charming. I’m annoying. I can see in people’s eyes they had enough of me few minutes into our conversation. I always feel worse, like I’m not good enough for anything, like literally everyone’s better. At everything. I don’t have my own thing. And even if I find something, soon people turn to the person that is better than me. I’m not anyone’s favourite person-"

“Oh no, I need to interrupt you here. You are MY favourite person. You are my favourite person on the whole planet. And I’m really sorry you don’t see how beautiful you are. I know the girls in the magazines look differently. And good! Because they are not real. They’re photoshopped. And we are made to believe this is what we want – this is what girls should look like, and in those kind of women we are supposed to fall in love with. But they don’t exist. To achieve such a small flat stomach you would have to get rid of all your organs. It doesn’t work like this. You are slim. You are beautiful. Why do we even care about the standards of beauty other people tell us we should have? You are my standard of beauty. I’ve never seen more beautiful eyes or smile in my life. I look at you and I just immediately smile to myself, thinking how lucky I am and how happy you make me feel. When you’re laughing, goofing around, when you do absolutely anything. They make money on dieting, sport related things, “healthy” food, proteins, whatever. They want us to hate ourselves. To always try to achieve the impossible. Because then we buy more. Because we are sad, depressed. Easily manipulated by the media. And I don’t want you to let them win. Because you are so fucking beautiful, girl, I had a crush on you since the first day we’ve met. I adore your body. I cannot take my eyes off you when you’re walking past me. You are the reason I’m happy and I want to be the same for you. And I am proud of you. I’m incredibly proud of every single achievement you attain. I always tell people what a good person you are, how loving and caring you are. I notice everything. And if you got 90% from a test I know damn well there is not a single person that got 100%. Because nobody is better than you are. And nobody knows more about the things you’re passionate about. And to me there’s nobody that can overshadow you. You are the one and only, the only one I see when you walk into a room. You’re your own light. And you have enough to give me a bit of that too. Because this is what kind of person you are. You give instead of taking from people. You are very special. And anybody who doesn’t see how blessed they are to have you in their life can go fuck themselves. I see it and I know that I am. You mean so much to me. And I see that you’re trying and honestly in the circumstances given, you really do well. You don’t have to compare yourself to others. They all had a different start. They came from a different place, they had different people around them. Especially since you only had people discouraging you. You achieved it on your own. You owe it all to yourself. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert, when will people acknowledge that? It’s not a mental disease like they want it to appear. “15 ways for introverts to appear as extroverts!” What about manuals for extroverts to be more quiet and understanding sometimes? And you never disappointed me. Since we’re together I’ve been so much happier and I really wish I could do the same for you. I don’t know where I’m making the mistake-“ you stopped him with a kiss.

You were listening to all that he was saying not believing this man is yours. He was like a blessing, he understood everything you had in your mind and was able to help you understand very important things too. And he loved you. Loved you more than you allowed yourself to believe. He was genuinely interested in you and your problems. He wanted to help, however he could. He even blamed himself for not doing more. Yet he did so much more than anyone else in your life before. In that brief moment, you felt happier. You knew it wasn’t the end of fighting for your happiness, it was just the beginning. But you finally felt like you wanted to fight. He made you want to take appropriate steps to change the voice in your head. Because for once you felt like someone actually wants you to be better, but in a sense that they cheer for you, not that they’re disappointed in who you are. And you knew it’s a long fight and there will be many defeats. You knew the excitement you felt now won’t last forever. But the moment you felt his lips on yours, his hands on your back, bringing you close, you knew you had a reason to fight for your happiness for. He was your reason.

“Believe me or not, I actually feel better now… It was good to finally talk to someone about it. But please don’t tell me that you feel bad, because it’s your fault… It isn’t. It started happening long before I met you. I don’t expect you to come into ruins and build a castle from them. I just love you so much for the fact you enjoy what you’re seeing for the reasons others hate it.” He smiled a bit petting your cheeks with his thumbs and kissed your forehead.

“I love you very much. And if they don’t see how amazing you are, it’s their loss, not yours. You have the people that truly care around you. You have me. And you will have me as long as you need me. I’m here, always. Call me at 3 AM, no problem. Text me and I’m here. Stay over at my house whenever you please, fall asleep in my arms if that calms you. Let me know if you need my attention more than usually. Hit me up when you need someone to encourage you. I will do all of it for you, and more, but please, just let me know you need those things. I’m not a mind reader, although I wish I was. I cannot help you if you won’t tell me something’s wrong.” He looked at you concerned. After all, he still wasn’t sure if he did enough. He was truly worried. He really cared.

“Only if you promise me that you will do the same. Maybe you think I don’t know it, but I do. You feel down sometimes too. And I don’t want to feel like I’m nosey and I try to dig out something you don’t want to tell me about. But I do care so much about you, and I want you to tell me, always. If I see that you don’t, I won’t tell you either. Either we’re both in this relationship, caring for each other and helping each other, or… There is no deal. I don’t want you to suffer quietly and then come here to help me. Men can feel bad too. You should allow yourself for it, rather than keeping it in and pretending all is fine. Men can be emotional, men can cry. And you can cry on my shoulder whenever you want. I’ll do anything I can to help you overcome your problems.” He sat on the couch next to you and you leaned on him, snuggling. He pet your back.

“I promise you. Actually, there’s something- I didn’t tell you this before, but I really like when you ask me all those little questions. Like how am I, is everything alright, did I took everything, how was my day, am I feeling well physically and mentally, did I dress appropriately, didn’t forget to eat… It may seem stupid, but I really love those things. They make me realise how much you care for me, to take time to think about those things. And I like resting my head on your stomach hugging you in bed. It makes me feel close to you, I love hearing your heartbeat. Those little things are important to me.” He smiled slightly when you nodded making sure to remember all of it.

“I like when you text me first thing in the morning. And when you come here out of the blue. I like when you’re showing me affection, hug me, hold my hand, caress my body. I like when you speak about your emotions. I like when you say”

“I love you” you both said at the same time and you smiled.

“Exactly. And I love that you listen.” You added.

“Because you listen too. I have boys who listen to me when I’m excited about sports; mom, if I want to talk about job opportunities or my dreams… I can always find someone who listens if I talk about good things. Nobody else listens when I feel down. Nobody else but you. You understand the importance of my mental health. I hope one day you’ll understand how important your health is. How important you are. ‘Cause to me, you mean everything.” He kissed your head.

“If one day I feel like I’m good enough, it will be thanks to you.”

“You are so much better than just that. You could fucking own the world if you wanted to. You can do, achieve, whatever you really want. You are a queen to me. I love you to the moon and back. And I’m so fucking proud to call you my girl. You just make other people happy. You make me happy. You know how much it’s worth? In the world where everything brings you down? It’s priceless. You are priceless. And I don’t know what more to tell you other than this girl – the one I have in my arms right now – is the reason I go out of bed, if feel like I’m flying instead of walking and whenever I know you got interested in something new, I can’t wait to hear you talking about it, gesticulating and being all excited. I love it. I love those moments with you. I’m always happy when I know we will meet on that day. It makes me feel alive.”

You listened to him carefully. He was better than you could imagine him. You knew he really would come at 3 PM to comfort you if you asked him to. And it was so important to have someone like that in your life.

“I don’t know what to say either. I just love you so much.”

“I love you too. From the moment you said you want to be with me, the life has been surreal. I feel like it’s all just a perfect dream. I’m in coma and I will wake up and you will be gone, my angel.”

“I’m here, Joey. I’m as real as it gets. Why are you here, though, I cannot understand.”

“Because you make me happy. I don’t feel obliged to be with you or any other bullshit the voices have been telling you. Actually, I would be happy if you became my wife one day. Because if I spent my life making sure you feel great and loved, then I would consider my life to be a fulfilling one. I’m not here because I have to, or something like that. I need you. My beautiful, intelligent, attractive, charming girl. My best friend. Just please, stay with me. Just as long as I make you happier than others would. If you find someone better, I will step aside. Because I genuinely only care about your well-being. I love you so much it hurts when I’m not around you.”

“Do you mean all this?” it’s like he’s been reading your mind. He told you exactly what you needed to hear.

“Every single word. Please, just try anything to be happy and I promise to be there, on the way with you, cheering for you and telling you how proud I am for every little step. And I mean all of this too.”

“Who would I be without you?” You asked rhetorically. You knew the answer was “nothing”, but you didn’t want to say it, since it would hurt him to hear you saying it about someone he loved so much.

“An ambitious girl with a bright future in front of her. Honey, you would be exactly who you are right now. I don’t make you whole, you are whole. I’m just an addition. You don’t necessarily need me, but you want me, and I’m happy and proud of it. And I will stay as long as you want me to. Helping you achieve what you would achieve on your own anyway and hopefully much more. I will not leave you. I’m here, for you. Always.”

[thegrimzuera]

Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down into a real-life, real BAD fanfic.

So for the sake of privacy, we’ll say that my name is Zoe. I was raised in heteronormative, Midwestern suburbia. Now for the most part I adore my family and I loved my childhood, but in this case it did not work to my advantage. You see, nobody ever told me I could be gay. Just slipped their minds, I guess. Oops? So for most of my adolescence I walked around like a chump, thinking I was straight. I mean, straight people, you do you! It just didn’t work for me. That in and of itself is Bad Fanfic Trope #1.

I dated this guy on and off throughout high school. We’ll call him Chad. I liked Chad quite a bit. He was nerdy and we had nice conversations. For some reason we just couldn’t click well enough to maintain our relationship long enough that it became permanent (hint: because I was GAY...!). Honestly, we don’t even need to dwell on Chad that much. He’d be the least important part of this story if it weren’t for the fact that during one of our “off again” phases, he met and fell right in love with a person who we’ll dub Sarah.

Here’s where it gets juicy.

Now I’d never met her, but everyone said that Sarah was just like me—but cooler. We were both cute little emo girls, we both liked anime and weird music, and we both for some unknown reason liked Chad. Sarah also had this really amazing accent because she had moved to the states from Wales. All of Chad’s friends called her “British Zoe.” Come to think of it, that title made me a little bitter towards Sarah, and if Sarah ever heard about it, it may have contributed to her feeling bitter towards me too. Of course, being directed to compete over Chad didn’t help.

So Chad dated Sarah for a while, but it was fine, because Chad and I were going to stay friends like the mature 18-year-olds we were. Even though I was still insanely jealous of this mysterious and unattainably cool Sarah person. It was during this time that I figured I liked girls (and boys, I still thought) and as I was toying with the idea of telling Chad about my newly discovered bisexuality, he informed me that Sarah had also come out as bi. Interesting, isn’t it? 👀

I had the opportunity to meet Sarah once. We all went to an anime convention together, and I distinctly remember taking a deep breath beforehand and deciding that this was the day Sarah and I would become friends. There was no need for me to be jealous! If she was as cool as everyone said, then imagine how great a friendship would be. But I was shy. And she was shy. And we had all that baggage between us. I went home that day feeling alienated and disappointed.

Now things began to get messy, because conflicting feelings often do that. I’ll spare you the ugly details, but tell you that my friendship with Chad ended quite abruptly when I discovered that he’d been juggling both Sarah and I romantically at the same time. So I split, made a life for myself 50 miles away, and that was that.

Except it wasn’t. Fast forward about six years—one marriage, one child, one mental breakdown and revelation, and a divorce later. I moved back to my hometown, and one night I walked down the winter streets on the East side with a good friend of mine. I didn’t often come to these parts because I was raised on the opposite side of the city and it was unfamiliar to me. This was actually the first time I’d been here in about...hmm, six years? But one coincidence is all it takes I suppose.

As we walked along, I happened to glance into the front window of a restaurant just off the sidewalk. I had to do a double take, because there was no way that after six years and only one meeting I would immediately recognize...Sarah? Also Chad 😒 I did not say hello. I didn’t know what to do at all! After a mini meltdown, I decided that the best thing I could do was to reach out to Chad on social media.

In truth, I’d wished over the years that I could repair my friendship with Chad—wished that things had played out differently. If we all hadn’t been so dumb, maybe I wouldn’t have lost that friendship. To my great surprise, Chad was very friendly when I reached out. We arranged a time to meet up for coffee, and for several hours we talked and reconciled everything that had happened. We caught up on life, and Chad said that I should hang out with him and his friends—and Sarah—sometime.

I remember the first time I got to spend time with Sarah. It was shortly after that first coffee that Chad, Sarah, and I went to a local pinball bar to play and have drinks. We got together to play board games and have dinner around that time as well. In both instances, I was floored by Sarah’s kindness to me. Despite both of us being rather quiet by nature, we had easy conversation. I also remember feeling like such a dork in comparison. Me and my carefully curated outfits and sculpted hair were overdone and pretentious when compared to Sarah’s shaved head and relaxed wardrobe of black tank tops and some of the coolest pants I’ve ever seen. It was all so effortless for her.

Damn, I wanted so badly to be her friend! Chad kept encouraging me that Sarah thought I was really cool too, but I just didn’t believe it. When I learned that Chad would be moving out of state, I realized I had to stake my claim on Sarah’s friendship fast.

We all got together at Sarah’s new apartment for potentially one last time. Merely stepping foot into this place had my desire to be a part of Sarah’s world skyrocketing. The apartment sat on the East side of town, less than a hundred feet from the very restaurant window where I’d first saw her. It was on the upper level of an old, hipster coffee shop for goodness sake. If I didn’t want to be friends with Sarah just to be friends with her, I certainly wanted to For The Aesthetic.

That night I also met the person we’ll call Katie. This was Sarah’s new roommate. I could just tell as we interacted that evening that something good would come of this. At least, I hoped so. I largely contribute my lasting friendship with Sarah to Katie’s presence, because Katie has such a way about them. They can take even the most shy and awkward folks like me and get them laughing like fools. A little alcohol may have helped as well.

I lamented that night about how lonely I had been, and I did so out loud. That really should be embarrassing, but I’m nothing but grateful for my clumsy and pathetic tongue, because it allowed Sarah to open her mouth and invite me into her life.

“You can be my friend,” she offered earnestly. “Once Chad leaves I won’t really know what to do with myself, so you’re welcome here any time. I mean it!”

And hot damn, was I going to take her up on that. I came home that night absolutely elated. I had found a place to belong. I wrote songs and poetry about how happy I was. I told my parents how happy I was. I had never felt so hopeful, right down to the tips of my fingers. Flowers could have grown straight from my chest that night.

A week or so later, I had plans to have dinner with Sarah, Katie, and another friend of theirs, Rose. I was growing connections. That was also the week that I discovered Sarah and Chad had broke up because of some deeply rooted trash-bag tendencies he’d been revealed to have. We won’t go into that, but Chad was out of the picture, and somehow that raised the stakes. I had no training wheels now, not even in the form of an out-of-state buddy who could encourage me that Sarah truly did want my friendship.

Fortunately, what came to be on that evening with the three almost-strangers was the beginnings of the most instantaneous, wild, and addictive friendship of my life. We talked about everything. We discussed heartbreak, joy, pain, existence as a whole. We sat on a rooftop deck and gazed at the stars, and we immediately planned a get together for the following night where we would meet Lena and Emma, and our core group of instant best friends would be complete.

I can only describe this friendship as a whirlwind romance. These were the true loves of my life, and it had all started with laying eyes on Sarah by means of coincidence or fate that night in the winter—after years of tension and competition! Talk about an Enemies to Friends arc.

But I’m not even done yet.

As I mentioned, our little group became inseparable. We spent all of our time together and poured more energy into our friendship than I had ever given or been given by another adult person. I learned that these people were the coolest to ever exist, and that they thought I was cool too. I finally l believed it, because they wouldn’t allow me to doubt. This was a fierce love.

For some reason, with all this fierce love, I always found myself dying to get closer to Sarah. Closer and closer yet. I also felt particularly protective of my friendship with her. I think this had everything to do with the fact that our friendship was so ill-fated and had been thwarted many times before. I promised myself that I would never let anything or anyone come between us. Sarah was my number one concern.

You can see where this was going.

Bad Fanfic Trope #2: Enemies to Friends [to Lovers]

Now let me just take a pause in our literary journey to tell you some of the reasons I fell for Sarah. Consider this a montage of sorts:

For being a very shy, very introverted person, Sarah lives loudly. She’s the one to show up in the most fabulous, effortlessly cool outfit you’ve ever seen. We once went on a walk to the park with mine and Emma’s kids—Sarah wore black leather hammer pants. She has about ten thousand pairs of black boots, each one unique and quietly elaborate. She just exists this way, never looking like she tries too hard or had to even put thought into her appearance. She just is.

Sarah also loves to dance. And she’s good at it. This was another thing that surprised me, I suppose because I figured that as a self-proclaimed awkward person like myself, she would be too timid to dance. But Sarah can and will dance to anything. Sarah will dance in silence. Sarah also knows and loves every song known to humankind. I’m talking tens of thousands of songs—she knows the lyrics, the albums, the artists, and probably the life stories of said artists.

Sarah is an artist herself. She draws, paints, and does pottery. For my birthday, she threw me the first party I’d had since my absolute failure of a sweet sixteen (in and around eight years prior), baked me the most delicious lavender cupcakes I’ve ever tasted (oh yes! Sarah also is a master in the kitchen!), and gave me the coolest, trippiest, handmade cup. It is my favorite cup. I would probably murder if this cup asked me to.

Most importantly, Sarah is the most kind, gracious, emotionally intelligent person I know. I’ve always been astounded by her ability to forget our past and extend such grace to me. Despite the way we met, she welcomed me into her life. She’s always the first one to check in not just on me, but on all of our friends and even people who have wronged her to be sure that we are all okay. Sarah understands people. She understands feelings and can express them so beautifully when she’s actually given the chance.

We’ve done the whole nine yards over the last year since we met (er, met again). I’m talking midnight kisses, bed sharing, romantic dinners, slow dancing, regular dancing. The problem was in figuring out if it meant anything, because when all your friends are gay, this sort of thing can be confusing.

Nobody told me to feel this way. A smart person would have told me not to. A smart me would have listened. But I love the feeling of falling, so I allowed it. I allowed it and clung to it. It actually happened quite fast. Sarah and I have always been honest with each other; it was something I prioritized due to our rocky beginning. So, when I realized my feelings for her, I wasted no time in asking her on a date.

Sarah said yes, but she also told me she wasn’t sure where she wanted this to go or if she was ready for anything serious. Her relationship with the trash bag had left her pretty severely wounded, and she was understandably still healing from that. And so together we agreed that this would be a date without expectation.

Sarah also told me that she’d never been on a proper date before. Trash bag had never bothered to do that. This was just more motivation to make this a good date. Not to pat myself on the back too hard, but I did a great job. I am good at treating people right. We went axe throwing (yes, very gay, I know), and then had dinner and drinks.

All seemed well, I was happy, she was happy. But, since we agreed that it was a casual date, I didn’t want to apply any pressure by asking her out again too quickly. So I waited and tried to play my hand wisely.

Now during this time, COVID cases were on the rise in my area and in the rest of the country. Hangouts in our tiny group had been easy and safe up until this point because of the nice summer weather and Sarah’s outdoor, rooftop deck where we usually would gather. Winter in the Midwest, however, made that impossible.

Now I thought I might lose my mind if I couldn’t see my people for the entire winter. Fortunately, Sarah asked me to be her “plus one” of sorts—each of the roommates in her apartment got to choose one. Katie chose their partner, and the third roommate in the apartment chose his partner. Sarah chose me.

I say again, you can see where this is going.

Sarah confessed to me that she felt lonely and jealous of her roommates romantic lives. They had partners, she didn’t. They were in love, she wasn’t. But here I was.

Bad Fanfic Trope #3: Fake Dating AU

Now I know what you’re thinking. Why would I do this? Why would Sarah do this? Why, Zoe? Why?

Emotions are a very persuasive bastard, I’ll tell you that. Besides, it made Sarah happy, and I got to go over to my favorite apartment with my favorite person. We actually spent quite a lot of time together in this days.

One particularly magical night for me was the walk we took around a local college campus. This was near Christmastime, so the surrounding houses were all lit up with colored lights and the atmosphere just hit different. Even being out in the open, it felt intimate. We came across the most oddly placed bus stop in the parking lot. Truly it was an island out at sea—it just looked like it didn’t belong there, a little glass building with citrus light leaking out of it.

“That’s a portal,” Sarah joked, spotting it at the same time as me.

I laughed, but I was actually serious when I asked her, “Should we go through?”

So we did. We ventured to the middle of the lot and entered in the left-side door. The inside felt even more otherworldly, and I’m still not convinced that something supernatural wasn’t going on there. But we giggled like kids and imitated the sounds of machine and tearing space-time, and then we stepped out the right-side door.

I’m pretty sure that was the night I knew I was totally fucked. Up until then things had been pretty manageable, feelingswise. But everything about that evening just pumped me up with hope and adrenaline, and whether things went up or downhill from there is kind of hard to tell.

Things really were good! I got to dress up for mini, COVID safe parties and dance in the living room. I got to sleep over on movie nights. I had already been living out my fanfiction dreams to the tune of Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift for the last several months, so what was a few more?

Actually, it was quite painful. I say this was a fake dating AU, but I think I was the only one being fooled—and maybe Sarah too on some level. We didn’t really mean for it to happen this way. I didn’t mean to be the person who couldn’t control her feelings, and Sarah didn’t mean to be the one who led me on. We were supposed to be having fun—and it was fun. Until it wasn’t.

See, holding back your own feelings can be miserable. It’s fun in the moment until you come home to an empty bed and know that nobody will be joining you. It’s fun until you’re reading into every text message and searching for a hidden meaning. Everything somehow felt perfectly aligned and all out of sorts at once.

When I decided I couldn’t take the wondering anymore, I asked Sarah for the chance to talk. She of course said yes, and so we agreed that we’d find some alone time at our next get-together. This happened to be our jazz night party, and Damn, did Sarah look good on jazz night.

We’d had themed parties before, but Sarah really outdid herself this time. She’d taken the lead on this party, and when I walked in I found the entire apartment transformed. The living room furniture had been pushed back to make room for dancing, and the kitchen cart was rolled in as a makeshift bar. The plush bench from the entryway sat in front of a strung-up tapestry as a photo station, and the flat screen was adorned with some sort of “jazz club ambience” from YouTube.

Sarah herself looked like something straight out of the Great Gatsby. I’ll spare you the details because I’m trying not to be too cringe-inducing here, but she was striking and perfectly on theme. I’m pretty sure I looked like a grunge gremlin in comparison, but that’s neither here nor there.

I told her how lovely she looked when I arrived, and truthfully I couldn’t tell if she was the one being awkward or I was. It could have been both, in hindsight, but considering how things went it doesn’t really matter.

It was difficult to focus on the absolute beauty of the party when my hands were trembling and all I could think of was the upcoming talk of be having with Sarah. I didn’t want to look at her too long in case everything went wrong and she didn’t want my eyes on her, but she also looked gorgeous and cool, and she was making us drinks like a real bartender. This was the time of her life, I could tell.

Everyone else was having a good time too. Katie and their partner were two peas in a pod. And Adam (third roommate, thus far unnamed) and his partner seemed pretty much in sappy, romance heaven. It hadn’t been a problem before, but suddenly I wasn’t sure where I fit into this unique equation.

When slow songs came on through the playlist, the couples wrapped their arms around each other and looked fondly into each other’s eyes. Sarah and I danced, but not too close, and I definitely couldn’t meet her eyes right now. It just didn’t feel the same.

We finally managed to get some privacy when the others went on a Taco Bell run. I mentally went over my talking points and tried to prepare myself for what seemed like the most predictable outcome. I would make sure that Sarah felt no pressure with me, because that truly was the last thing I wanted. I would also make my intentions clear—I’d love to go out on more dates with you and just see if there could ever be something between us. Easy as that. I didn’t expect that she would confess her true and undying love for me (I tried not to expect anything really), but a large part of me figured she would at the very least agree to a date or two for the sake of discovery, and maybe she’d even be excited about it. It just made sense to me.

But, even as I was beginning to express my feelings, I could tell the direction this was going. Sarah smiled and said she also felt like we probably needed to talk, and that I was really brave for bringing this up—braver than her, she said. What followed was the kindest, most gentle letting down of my life. Really, she couldn’t have handled that conversation any better.

There were a number of reasons for her decision to turn me down. For one thing, she didn’t want to risk our friendship. We were already so close, and as she’d expressed before, she didn’t want to rush into any serious relationships right now. 100% reasonable. And, it kind of did make sense. It would have been difficult not to become serious very quickly considering how close we were. On top of not wanting to risk our friendship and not wanting anything serious, I suspected that she simply didn’t feel the same way.

At the end of it all, Sarah asked me if I needed some space to process, or if I wanted her to step out of the apartment for a while. That’s right, Sarah literally volunteered to leave her own home during her own party to make me comfortable. I of course told her that was ridiculous and did my best to carry on normally. I wanted to be cool about it for both of our sake. Alas, I ended up making multiple trips to the bathroom for secret crying sessions, and eventually I ducked out early so that I could cry peacefully in my car—and my bed, and my shower, and everywhere else for the next few days.

Yikes. Funny how it hadn’t even hit me until that moment that I’d been making the very same dumb mistakes I read about all the time on AO3. I filled myself up with hope that wasn’t there and nearly ruined everything because of it.

I tried moving on without much luck. I tried remaining friends with moderate success. Perhaps that’s being too pessimistic. Honestly, my friendship with Sarah is stronger than ever. It’s just that almost two months after Jazz Night I finally had to have another talk with Sarah—one where I confessed how hurt I’d been over the whole ordeal. I apologized for my mishandling of the situation, and she apologized for hers. Honestly, we both had a good idea of what we’d been getting ourselves into at the start of it, but we did it anyway.

Am I over Sarah? Not if I’m being honest. But my priority has been and will always be protecting our friendship, and I think she’s on the same page as me there. I hang out with both her and Katie routinely, and I’m doing everything in my power to fix this. I don’t think it’s as big a deal for Sarah as it is me in that she doesn’t have to alter her feelings. I don’t want her to change her behavior either—because our amazing friendship is why I fell for her, she didn’t do anything to make me uncomfortable.

So we’re carrying on. I guess this is an ongoing story, but the fake-dating part is over as are the fanfiction tropes that seem to have overtaken my life for a hot minute. I just thought it was so interesting—interesting enough to share I suppose.

(Honestly part of me things this would make a good story if I went back and documented these events in more detail—like, I dunno, multiple chapters or something idk. If anyone got this far and would be interested in that lemme know. It’s my real life but for once that’s actually quite interesting.)

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Forty-One: A Cave ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Shisui, Hyūga Neji, Hyūga Hanabi ] [ SasuHina, death ] [ Verse: Then It All Went Wrong ] [ AO3 Link ]

They’ve been running for hours.

The fires of the Uchiha compound are long behind them, running atop the surface of the Naka northward. Sasuke still clings to his brother’s back, Hinata atop Shisui’s as Hanabi is slung to his chest. Neji, despite his youth, has little choice but to run.

It all still feels...unreal.

The only two among them truly privy to the goings-on are Itachi and Shisui, both aware of the Uchiha clan’s struggles against Konoha. Since the Kyūbi’s attack only a few months after Sasuke’s birth, the old prejudices against them - fanned by their prior leader - were flared once again. Surveillance was increased, their rights subtly squeezed and redacted...and when they protested, it only got worse.

Fugaku’s months of attempts of compromises were all in vain. No matter his offers, his pleads, he was ignored. So, he went to the only person he felt he had left to ask for aid:

Hyūga Hiashi, the clan head of the other dōjutsu line of Konoha, and a distant brother.

Of course, Hiashi had balked at first, not wanting to be dragged into such an affair. But Fugaku had leverage. Their common roots, and the need for a scapegoat meant that it just might be the Hyūga next once the Uchiha were...removed. All he wanted was support - an ally to help him appeal to Konoha...and stand with them should the village strike.

And strike it did.

The battle had broken out at both compounds with perfect synchronicity, cutting the allied clans off from one another as they each fought their own battles. They had expected as much...but only barely. Plans to send the heirs and their seconds - the siblings, and their first cousins - to safety had been one of the first plans Hiashi and Fugaku made, both wanting to ensure the survival of their children and blood.

But the addendum to have adults accompany them fell through. The Hyūgas’ handmaid had been killed while ushering them out, buying them time to escape to their meeting place by the Naka. And Shisui’s mother - Mikoto’s sister - made a similar sacrifice.

Now six children face the wilderness alone, unsure if they’re yet being pursued by the place they once called home: the eldest fifteen, and the youngest not even yet two.

But Shisui is a tokubetsu jōnin, and Itachi an ANBU officer. Between the two of them, they’re certain they can keep the younger ones safe...so long as they aren’t met with a force too numerous.

What they need now, however, is a place to hide, and to rest.

“Any ideas?” Itachi asks as they run, giving his cousin a glance.

“Not particularly...they probably figure we’re following the river. It’ll make tracking us by foot impossible, and by scent difficult. We can’t really stray from it for that reason...but if we’re going to stop, that means getting off the water...and leaving a trail.”

“Even if we take the trees…?”

“Our scents will linger better. But after being up all day and now running half the night with additional weight...you and I need to rest. And the kids, too.”

Itachi can’t help but feel a bit of irony at the separation between them and the ‘kids’.

He and Shisui can’t be kids anymore.

...they haven’t really been for quite some time.

“Aniki…” Sasuke murmurs. “I’m tired…”

“...I know,” he replies through grit teeth, trying to think of a solution. They’re still over a day’s trek from the place Fugaku marked on their map...they have to stop before they get there. Even if they were going on a full night’s sleep, it’d be pushing it.

“Hey, Itachi…”

“Yes?”

“How’s your geographical genjutsu?”

The younger cousin blinks. “...why do you ask?”

“There’s a cave, up ahead. Maybe we can cast an illusion to hide the opening.”

Following Shisui’s gaze, Itachi brightens. There’s just a hint of a crack in the cliff that lines the Naka to their right. “...I can handle that.”

“Good. Let’s see if it’s worth it…” Veering, Shisui approaches, a hand feeling the rock. A hint of flame is blown into a hand, chakra sustaining it over his palm and lighting the space within.

“...what do you see?”

“This should work. It’s a tight fit to get in, but there’s a chamber...eh, ten paces wide? Enough to rest, anyway. We’ll have to get cozy, but it should work.”

“Very well.”

They pack the four younger children in, all of them looking to the pair with fear and uncertainty in their eyes.

“...all right. You all stay here. Don’t make any noise if you can help it. I know the baby’s gonna be fussy, but just...try your best. We’ll go scout and see if we can find some food. And a way to get water,” Shisui offers, half thinking aloud.

The elder three all nod solemnly, Hinata doing her best to keep her baby sister quiet.

Once back outside, Shisui sighs. “...all right...I’ll head back south a little ways, start looking for any signs we’re being followed. You stay here, start working on supplies. We all need to eat and rehydrate...and sleep, if we’re able. If I see anything, I’ll send a crow. Be ready.”

“Of course.” With that, Itachi turns to the cave entrance. Dark eyes flare red, and the sight seems to blur and stretch...until it’s nothing but a solid wall.

“Perfect. You and I can see through it, of course...but I doubt anyone else can, unless they have a damn good sensor with them. Don’t stray far - I’ll come back in an hour if nothing shows up.”

Itachi just nods, watching his cousin flicker away. Mind forced into a mission state, he begins doing as ordered. A stick sharpened with a kunai manages to spear several fish, which he cooks quickly and without smoke with some katon. Water he brings into a canteen, using what he knows of suiton to filter out any bacteria or microbes. When a pause reveals no crows in the sky, he retreats into the cave.

To his surprise, the four are closely huddled together. Neji seems to lean against Hinata protectively, Byakugan active as he too scouts for danger in his own way. He stares at Itachi, unblinking. Sasuke is on Hinata’s other side, looking a bit less familiar, but close nonetheless.

“Here...eat these,” Itachi offers, handing them the skewered fish. “Be mindful of bones.”

“W-what about Hanabi?” Hinata questions quietly.

“I’ll mash some, see if we can get her to eat it...do you know her diet?”

The elder sister shakes her head. “N...no.”

“That’s all right.” By now, he’s also forgotten what Sasuke could and would eat at that age. They’ll just have to make due. Eating his own catch, he then uses his hands to carefully debone and soften a few pieces of fish. “Here...best you try. She might fuss with a stranger.”

Hinata nods, accepting the food and trying to get her sister to eat. “Hanabi...please…”

Jaw clenched with a whine, the girl makes to refuse. “Nn!”

“Try miming eating it first. She might want to mimic you.” He remembers his mother doing something similar.

Listening, Hinata then tries again. “Mm,” she hums, mocking eating. “This is r-really good!”

Hanabi’s expression wavers, then shifts to a pout. “Ah, ah…!” Little hands reach, and Hinata offers it again. This time she takes some into her mouth, moving it around and managing to swallow some.

They all sigh in relief. “Here...some water, too,” he offers, watching them pass the canteen around.

“Aniki, where are we going…?” Sasuke then asks.

“...I don’t know. Someplace our father thought suitable. North, in the mountains.”

“An Uchiha outpost…?”

“It’s possible…?” Itachi knows most of their clan’s history, and he doesn’t remember such a fort. But maybe he missed something.

“Coming in!”

Glancing up, Itachi watches as Shisui fades through the illusion. “Anything?”

“Not yet...but best we take turns guarding.”

“Agreed.” He hands Shisui some food, which the elder gratefully accepts.

“How are things here?”

“We got the baby to eat a bit. The rest of us are doing the same.”

“Good...you mind taking first watch?”

“Not at all. I’m not too tired.” His body is weary, but his mind still sharp.

“Thanks...packing two kiddos is a bit much, honestly. Especially at that pace.”

“I agree. Don’t worry - I’ll keep watch.”

Once all the food is gone, water drank, and those needing it relieved outside, they arrange themselves for the remainder of the night. Shisui props himself next to Sasuke, still beside Hinata with Neji on her other flank.

“How you holding up, Sasuke?”

He doesn’t really reply.

In truth, Shisui hardly expects him to be well. Their entire clan is likely dead by now, or if any survived, scattered to the four winds...as the Hyūga will also be. It’s not easy...and it’s only his current object that keeps him grounded. “...it’s gonna be all right. We’re still alive. I know it isn’t easy...it hurts. But the important thing is now that we keep moving. We can’t let what our parents gave up for us be for nothing...okay?”

Tearing up a bit, Sasuke manages a nod, looking up to his brother. Itachi stares through the illusion with his Sharingan, a kunai kept gripped in one hand.

“...are they dead, Shisui?”

“...I don’t know for sure, Sasuke. Maybe some got out. We might never know, but...we can hope. For now...we have our mission your father gave us. And all good shinobi follow the mission, right?”

“...right.”

“...we’ll be okay. Maybe not today, or tomorrow...but we will. All of us. For now...we rely on each other. Keep each other safe. Got it?”

All three conscious kids nod, Hanabi thankfully asleep.

“T...thank you, Shisui-san,” Hinata murmurs.

“No need for honorifics, Hinata-chan. We’re all in this together. We’re all equal and familiar now, right?”

“...right…”

Smiling wearily, Shisui then sighs, doing his best to settle down and get some rest.

Watching him for a moment, Sasuke then glances to his other neighbor. “...Hinata-chan…?”

“Yeah?”

“...I’m scared.”

“Me...me too. But...Neji-nīsan, and Shisui-san, a-and Itachi-san will protect us. Right?”

“...yeah…”

Seeing him look unsure, Hinata wriggles one hand free from her sister, offering it palm-up.

After a pause, Sasuke gently takes it with one of his own.

“...w-we aren’t alone, Sasuke-kun. At least...a-at least we have each other, ne?”

“...yeah.”

                                                               .oOo.

     (This is a sequel to day 99!)       ...I think this is the longest gap between updates so far xD Over 200 days since the first 'part' of this was published, holy smokes! And I still ADORE this concept. This is...a little rushed, what with it being a daily (and me being sick and a holiday tomorrow, woo). But I like the overall idea a lot, and I think it's one I'll revamp / continue after the challenge (and my break lol).      I just...really love these kiddos, and this AU! They're arguably all among my top ten characters, so getting to write them all together is neat, and the setting and plot is one I'm really liking. So here's hoping making it a fuller fic will work! I have a few ideas already, ahaha~      BUT for now...it's very late, I'm very tired, and tomorrow will be a VERY long day. So I'll call it here. Thanks for reading!

[godofevrerything]

Hell Rising Chapter Four: Rin

I hated close knit neighborhoods. They were the most dangerous places to be in. Everyone knew everyone, and a stranger, especially a colored stranger, could be picked out in a second.

I looked around, feeling sick. The air smelled like exhaust and tar. Nothing like the clean air and spice from India.

The cargo ship had been suffocating. I had been running all around the ship for a week, in a constant state of panic.

It was a damn miracle that nobody tossed me overboard for trespassing.

I walked down the sidewalk as quickly as I could. The sooner I was out the the neighborhood, the better.

"You're not from around here, kid. What do you think you're doing?"

I jumped, fear pumping through me. But the question wasn't directed at me.

The security guard glared at the brunette boy in front of him. I ducked into the alley, and peaked out at the scene.

The boy was shaking. "I was j-just passing through, s-sir! I mean no h-harm, I swear!"

I felt a surge of empathy for the boy. He was taller than me, and several years older, maybe 17.

His blue gray eyes darted around in a panic. They swept to the alley and met mine, silently pleading me to help him.

I was conflicted. If I stepped out to help him, I'd get the brunt of the punishment. If the security was this gruff to a light haired, white boy, who knows what they would do to me.

But at the same time, if I helped him, he'd be in my debt. I could use him as my shield to get anywhere.

I drew in a breath.

Allah protect me.

I stepped out of the alley and plastered a relieved look on my face.

"Master, there you are!" I gasped. "Come along, the Madame will be furious if you aren't home for dinner!"

The guards head snapped to me, scowling darkly. "Are you this boys maid?"

I dropped into a low curtsy. "Sir, I am so sorry that the Master went astray. But we must go."

The guard took a step towards me, his eyes flashing. "What kind of damn brainless fool are you to lose your master? A stupid islander like you should know to keep close to their superior."

I bit back a yell. I shoved my hands into my pockets. I could feel the sparks crawling up to my wrist. No. I couldn't kill the guard. That would be the opposite of escaping quietly.

"Once again, I sincerely ap-"

"A cheap sorry, especially an apology from an islander doesn't change the fact that you superior has trespassed." he spat.

"Sir, do not speak to my maid that way."

We turned. The boy had drawn himself up to his full height. He was actually as tall as the security guard, if not, he was taller. But the scary thing was his cold eyes. All the nervousness was gone, replaced by a icy sense of confidence and superiority.

The security guard frowned. "It's a maid. She's not worth much."

"It doesn't matter." the boy scoffed. "She is my maid, and I do not tolerate anyone speaking to my staff that way."

Oh god. Didn't this kid know that people didn't think much about their staff? He was going to get us locked up for being decent.

"Also, if it's anyone who can speak to my staff that way, it's me. God knows how many times she screws up. And if her esteem goes too low, she won't be able to work as well." the boy added.

Well. Never mind.

For a long moment, the guard stared at us, his eyes narrowed.

Then he shook his head. "Go on then. Just remember to not loiter. And make sure to keep your staff in check." the guard addressed the boy.

The boy nodded. "Of course." he tossed a glare at me. "Now hurry up. If I'm late, you won't get any dinner tonight."

I gritted my teeth. Christ, he didn't have to be such an ass.

"Of course, Sir." I muttered.

We walked away from the guard as quickly as we could. I kept my head down, my heart in my throat. The boy was silent.

We made it a few blocks outside of the neighborhood when he spoke up.

"Um, thank you."

I glanced at him, raising my eyebrow.

He shifted, looking at anywhere but me. "For what you did back there. You, uh, saved me."

I scoffed. "Yeah, I know. And are you thanking the tree, or me?"

He looked at me, startled. "Huh? I'm thanking you?"

I smirked up at him. "Sounds like a question. And typically, you look at the person when you're thanking them."

He flushed. "Oh. Sorry."

I waved my hand. "Forget it. I don't need a thank you."

He frowned. "Then why were you making a big deal about it?"

I shrugged.

The boy swallowed. "So, I'm guessing that you need my help."

I chuckled. "Glad you brought that up. I'm going to need to travel with you."

He blinked. "Why can't you travel on your own?"

I sighed. "I could, but that would be extremely hard. I've traveled on my own for about a decade, and I can tell you; it's no picnic. You know that guard that you just talked to?"

He nodded.

"Well, imagine that you have to deal with that a hundred times a day, the harshness is ten times worse, and you don't ever have anyone like me to pop out and save you." I speared him with a look. "Now imagine dealing with that for every day, for a decade. Not pleasant, right?"

He shuddered. "No. But, if you've dealt with that for a decade, then why can't you deal with it for a bit longer?"

I groaned. "I can, but I don't want to. I mean, nobody would want to. And not to mention that if I slip up once, I'll be thrown in jail for life."

His mouth opened. "They're that harsh? Please tell me you're kidding!"

I smiled grimly. "Nope. Thats my life. I mean, the guard was awful to you, and you're white. I'm Indian, and not to mention, a girl."

He drew in a breath. "Alright. I'll help you. I have two tickets to Missouri. The train leaves at noon."

I grinned. "Great, lets go."

His eyes widened. "What? But you don't even know my name!"

I snorted. "So? Names don't matter to me. People come and go. No use trying to remember them. It's not like they're remember me."

He stared at me.

I sighed. "Look, are you coming or not?"

The boy held his hand out to me.

I frowned. "What are you doing?"

"It's a handshake." he said.

I glared at him. "I know that. But theres no point. It doesn't matter."

He shook his head. "It matters to me. Come on, it'll only take a minute."

I stared at his hand and sighed. I shook it quickly. "There, happy?"

He sighed. "That wasn't a proper handshake."

"It doesn't matter. You'll forget me anyways." I sneered.

He shook his head. "No, I won't."

I sighed. "Liar."

He frowned at me. "Are you always this cynical?"

I chuckled. "It's called being realistic. And since I don't think you'll stop asking, my name is Saundrine. But call me Rin."

He smiled. "I'm Ivan."

I glanced back at Ivan. He was just as innocent now as he was five years ago. He had become more confident, I supposed, but he still had the optimistic innocence.

I kept telling him that the world wasn't good. People died every day and the ones who lived came and went. Few stuck around, and most hurt you. If he had went around without me, I had no doubt that he'd be locked up in a lab by now. He'd probably blatantly flirt with some man, and the officials would drag him away.

He wore his heart on his sleeve. And never held his tongue.

I sighed. He was going to get killed someday if he didn't watch himself.

Rana squeezed my hand. "What are you thinking about, Sunshine?"

I drew in a breath. "When I first met Ivan. He's just as oblivious to the world as he was back then."

Rana smiled. "Cute. I'm just glad that you two didn't meet like Darcy and I met. Wouldn't want you to have nightmares like me."

I sighed. "That makes the two of us."

Kai tugged on my hand. "Amma?"

I looked at him. "Yes?"

"My feet are tired. Can you carry me, please?" he asked.

I chuckled. "Sure."

I put Kai on my shoulders. He yawned and lay his head on top of mine. I glanced at Rana. Sabrina was curled in her arms, fast asleep. I couldn't imagine the toll it took on them to escape the hotel. No wonder why they were exhausted.

We walked through the city, keeping our heads down. Ivan and Darcy were walking behind Rana and I, something they never did. They always walked in front of us, to sort of shield us from any officials. But now I supposed the roles became switched.

"-Johnson and Ivan Stravinsky. The two young adults not only destroyed their hotel room and grievously injured our police force, but have also been helping two convicts to flee from the law."

My head snapped up. There, on a TV screen in a shop window, were Darcy and Ivan's faces. Right on the news.

"That's right, Dan." the reporter continued. "Johnson and Stravinsky are reported to have helped the escaped convict Namarana Ishimi and a young woman. Ishimi is also reported to have two young children with her, and has been dragging them all around the country. It is unclear if the young women is Ishimi's accomplice or captive. Now, let's hear from David Ricker, the head of the police force."

"Ricker." Rana snarled.

Ricker appeared on the screen, wearing an oily smile. "Thank you Lindsay. I believe that Ms.Johnson and Mr.Stravinsky were simply brainwashed by Ishimi. They were two good young people who Ishimi manipulated into helping her. Nevertheless, they did cause considerable property damage, and not to mention the damage done to our fine police force."

"Well what were we supposed to do, you sick bastard?" Rana growled. "Let them kill us?"

"Rana, quiet." I hissed.

She exhaled angrily, her eyes trained on the screen.

I glanced back at Darcy and Ivan. They were stock still, their faces white. To my horror, there was a small crowd surrounding us, listening to the news.

"I truly believe that Johnson and Stravinsky can become sane again if they simply turn themselves in." Ricker sighed. "We have plenty of outstanding psychologists and medics who can help them through the trauma that Ishimi put them through. And once she is taken care of, I truly believe that the city will be safe again. For she is the reason of the unrest in the city."

"You sick son of a-" Rana hissed.

I stomped on her foot, cutting her off. She glared at me, and I glared back.

"Is there anything that you'd like to say to Ishimi, sir?" the reporter asked.

"Absolutely."Ricker chuckled. "Ishimi, I suggest that you turn yourself in. You've terrorized the country enough, and even manipulated innocent people into helping you. Turn yourself in, or we will be forced to drag you into government custody."

"Forced, my ass." Rana mumbled.

Luckily, nobody seemed to hear her.

"Come on." I muttered. "We've heard enough, let's go."

I grabbed Rana and Kai's hand, pulling them out of the crowd. Darcy and Ivan followed us, silent.

We made it two blocks before Darcy spoke, her voice shaky.

"You know, I always wanted to be on TV when I was little. But this is not what I meant."

Ivan shook his head. "None of us did."

Kai spoke up. "Haha, why were they saying all that stuff about you?"

Rana didn't answer, choosing to stare down at Sabrina in her arms.

"Haha doesn't want to talk right now, Kai. But don't mind what that man on TV said. He was lying." I whispered.

"But why was he lying?" Kai asked.

I shook my head. "Because he is evil. That what evil people do. They lie all the time to make themselves look like heroes. And they paint the real heroes as villains."

"That's awful." Kai whispered. "Can I kick him?"

"Yeah, I'll join you." Rana muttered.

"No, Kai. Kicking him won't solve anything." I sighed.

"But it would make me feel a hell of a lot better." Rana scoffed.

"It still won't change anything." I sighed. "If it would, trust me, I would have beat him black and blue already."

Rana let out a weak laugh.

We walked into a bookstore, ducking into the back isles.

I turned to Darcy. "In the cab, you said that you had a friend who would help us. You said she'd meet us here."

Darcy blinked. "Oh. Yeah."

"Yeah?" I asked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hi guys. Glad you made it out."

We turned. A girl approached us, smiling faintly. She was a bit younger than Rana, with short pastel pink hair.

Rana stared at her, frowning. The girls eyes were silver, and they flashed slightly when she looked at Rana.

"Something on my face?" she asked.

Rana blinked. "What? Oh no."

"Great." she sighed.

"Guys, this is my friend, Jae." Darcy said. "Rana, you've already met her when she took care of the kids. And Ivan knows her. Rin, Jae. Jae, Rin."

I nodded. "Hello."

"Hiya." Jae chuckled.

She turned to Darcy. "So are we going or not?"

"Going?" Rana asked. She held Sabrina a bit tighter, her eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, to the safe place." Jae snorted.

"Safe place?" I repeated.

"Well, one of them."

Darcy frowned. "Jae, you've never mentioned safe places."

Jae laughed lightly. "Ah, well. I've only known you for what, nine months? I couldn't trust you yet. Y'know how people turn your trust against you."

"I can relate." Rana muttered.

They shared a grim smile.

I frowned. "You said that there were multiple safe places. Why haven't we heard of any of them?"

Jae sighed. "Practically nobody knows about them. We have to be extremely careful about letting people know about the safe places. They're all connected, so if one wrong person hears about them, the government will be able to connect and destroy all of the safe places in a whole state. And then the ones out of the state."

"That's dumb." I muttered.

Jae glared at me. "Excuse me?"

"That all of the safe places are connected. I mean, every safe place shouldn't be shut down just because one is discovered. Really, at the most it should be all the safe places in a city connected. Not all in the state. And even if they're just connected in the city, it's idiotic." I scoffed.

Jae sneered at me. "Well, you aren't in charge of the safe places. So could you please shut your mouth and listen to me. Like you said, you didn't even know that they existed."

"Do not talk to Rin like that." Rana snapped. "You might know more about the safe places, but that only proves that you don't have as many street smarts."

Jae's mouth opened slightly. She stared at Rana in shock. Rana glared at her.

"Ummm... So, what about the safe place?" Darcy squeaked.

Jae looked her, lips pursed. "It's hidden. Follow me."

"Oh, so we're just supposed to trust you without any evidence that you're telling the truth?" Rana asked.

Jae paused. "I am telling the truth. I would never lie to you."

"We only met you today." I sighed. "We don't trust you."

Her eyes flashed. "You don't trust me. Darcy and Ivan trusts me."

Ivan raised his eyebrow.

"Is there a problem here?"

We all whirled around. There was young man standing a few feet from us.

"What?" Rana whispered.

"I asked if there is problem." the young man said. "You all are quite loud and rude. Also,"

He paused and frowned at Kai and Sabrina. "Children aren't allowed in the library."

"What are you talking about?" Darcy asked. "Libraries are for everyone."

He scoffed. "Well, they are not for people who aren't mature enough to take their private matters outside."

"Oh, and they are for people who stick their noses into other peoples private matters?" I scoffed.

The young man sputtered indignantly.

Rana shot me a glare and gave the man a sweet smile. "I'm terribly sorry for the disturbance, sir. We didn't mean to be this loud."

He sniffed. "Well, you have been."

Jae smiled. "We meant for it to be a small discussion, but it got," she paused, searching for a phrase that wouldn't have the man be suspicious.

"out of hand." Rana finished. "Truly, we apologize for the disturbance. And we'll be right out of your hair."

The man frowned at us. "Hold on, have I seen met you?" he asked.

He asked Darcy.

She froze. "What? N-no. Why?!"

Rana laughed quietly. "We've never seen you in our lives. Now if you'd excuse us,"

He shook his head. "No, I know I've seen you two."

He pointed at Darcy and Ivan.

They froze.

"Well, my two friends are stunt doubles!" Jae chirped. "You probably recognize them for a show."

"Yeah, they've had to stand in for some actors as well." Rana chuckled. "I'm so proud of them."

She gave Ivan and Darcy a bright smile.

The man frowned uncertainly. "No, I've seen them somewhere-"

He winced suddenly, grabbing his head in pain.

Rana frowned. "Are you alright?"

"Headache." he mumbled.

"Ah, well we'll just get out of your hair then." Jae chuckled.

She grabbed Darcy and Ivan's hands, slipping out of the mans view.

"Yes, we'll get going now." Rana said brightly. "After all, dealing with strangers might worsen your headache. And I know how bad headaches can get."

She grabbed Kai and my hand, rushing out of the bookstore before he could answer.

We met Jae, Ivan and Darcy a few blocks down.

"That was close." Jae croaked. "We have to get you to the safe place now."

"Then let's get going." Rana snapped.

They started walking down the sidewalk. All of them, without a single question or complaint.

I rushed after Rana and grabbed her arm. She jumped, glaring at me. I didn't care. I took Sabrina from her arms and gave the baby to Darcy. I told Kai to go walk with Ivan. He listened, and I went back to Rana.

"Rin, what the hell?" Rana demanded.

"Keep your voice down." I hissed.

She glared at me furiously.

"Why are you trusting Jae?" I whispered. "You don't know anything about her! For all you know, she could be leading us right to the Admin!"

"Jae is Darcy's friend." Rana whispered. "I trust Darcy's judgement."

"Darcy's judgement is what got us wasted in a dumpster and covered in hot sauce in Houston!" I snapped.

"Don't bring that up." Rana scowled. "I don't ever want to think about Houston. And I trust her judgement with people, not alcohol."

"Are you kidding me? Darcy is the type of person to trust a serial killer in the middle of the woods!"

"That's Ivan." Rana corrected.

"And," she hesitated. "I trust Jae. There is something about her that makes me trust her."

"What?!" I yelped.

"Look, if you can't trust Jae, then trust my judgement. You can do that, right Rin?" she asked.

I frowned. "Of course I trust you, but-"

"Great." she interrupted. "Now let's get going before the Admins men come back and try to kill us again."

"I second that." Jae called out.

"Were you eavesdropping?" I snapped.

"Nah, just heard the end bit." Jae chuckled. "Now hurry up."

We went down the street and ducked into an alley. I held onto Rana's hand tightly, frowning at Jae's back.

She yanked the manhole up and grinned at us. "Come on."

Jae dropped into the hole.

"No! Hell no. I am not climbing down into a sewer!" Darcy yelped.

Rana pulled her hand from mine and scooted into the hole. "Then enjoy getting pumped full off drugs and endless interrogation."

She disappeared from view.

Ivan hesitated and then went after her.

"Kai, sweetheart, come on down! I'll catch you!" Rana called up.

"Kai, no." I hissed.

He hesitated.

"Come on Kai, we got to move!"

"Come on, Amma." Kai said. "Haha will catch us."

"Kai?!" Darcy yelped.

He climbed down in the damn hole.

Darcy leaned over the hole. "Um, can I drop Sabrina down?"

I stormed over to Darcy. "Absolutely not. Drop her down that hole and I'll push you in."

"Don't listen to Rin!" Rana yelled. "Drop Sabrina. She won't push you in here, don't worry."

"Darcy." I hissed.

She dropped Sabrina.

And climbed down instantly.

I dropped to my knees and looked down the hole, my heart nearly beating out of my chest. What if Rana didn't catch Sabrina? What if Kai didn't get down alright? Why didn't I hear him? Why didn't I hear Ivan? Were they de-

"Got you, Sabi!"

I heard Sabrina squeal in delight, and Rana laughed. I heard Kai talking to Sabrina, and Ivan helping Darcy down.

Thank you Allah.

"Rin, come on!" Rana called. "We have to go. Hurry up!"

I swallowed. If Jae was leading us into a trap, well....

She was going to regret it.

I swung my body into the hole and yanked the cover closed. I climbed down the ladder as quickly as I could.

Rana grinned and gave me a quick peck. "There you are! Thought you weren't coming, Sunshine!"

I shook my head. "As if I would let my family walk around with a stranger."

Jae groaned. "We get it, you hate me. Now let's get going."

"Hate you? I don't-" I started.

But she was already walking away.

Rana grabbed my hand. "Come on, Sunshine. You can fry her if it's a trap, don't worry."

"How can I not worry?" I sighed.

We went down the sewer, holding hands in the dim light. Eventually, Jae stopped in front of a wall. She kicked the bottom of it.

"What are you-" Rana started.

A panel appeared on the wall. Jae leaned in and spoke quietly.

"It's Jae. I have some newbies with me. Darcy Johnson, Ivan Stravinsky, Namarana Ishimi, and-"

She glanced at me.

"Saundrine Iago." I said.

"- Saundrine Iago." she finished.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then there was a rumble. And the wall opened.

We stepped inside.

My mouth dropped open.

It was a huge pavilion, with hundreds of tent and booths. Everything was colorful. Voices filled the air.

Happy voices.

Jae grinned.

"Welcome to the Haven."

[stars-and-rose]

|Heart Point| Chapter One

Is Emily staring another story when she already has like eight others planned?

You fucking bet!

This AU is a collab between me and @planetkookie ! Kai is an absolute Queen! She's the one behind all the amazing art in this AU (you can see the character designs if scroll through my account, or search the tag #heart point au!) She'll also be writing one-shots when she feels inspired too!

Meanwhile, I'm writing the main fic!

Notice: I own none of the characters in this! Vance and Cassidy belong to Aphmau, and the boys all belong to Thomas Sanders!

The general plot and some dialogue belong to Aphmau as well

Without further ado....

Fandom: Thomas Sanders/Sanders Sides

Pairings: Logince, (Eventual) Prinxiety, (Eventual) Logicality and (Eventual) Remceit

Summary: In which Roman suffers through a break-up and proceeds to accept a gift- which probably wasn't a good idea.

Word Count: 2892

Trigger Warnings: Break-up, Fainting, Cursing because I cannot contain my potty mouth, not anything really severe this fic is very fluffy

next>>

Chapter One: When momma said "Don't accept gifts from strangers," she might of been on to something

"You're breaking up with me?"

Roman could not believe this was happening. He loosened his grip on the hot chocolate he'd been drinking; the hot liquid had turned bitter on his tongue. He stared at his boyfriend, who wasn't making eye contact with him.

"That's,  um, a way to put it. Definitely." Roman's boyfriend, Vance, still wasn't meeting his eyes.

"Definitely a way to put it or definitely breaking up with me?" Roman's voice still had the tiniest bit of hope in it. Maybe he'd heard Vance wrong. Maybe he was jumping to conclusions, a skill he was fantastic at.

"Both?" Vance finally raised his eyes and they met with Roman's. Vance's blue eyes were filled with apprehension, sadness, and something that looked suspiciously like pity.

Meanwhile, Roman was trying not to cry, his green eyes scrunched with his effort. "Oh."

"Ro?" Vance's voice was soft. "You okay?"

"Did I do something wrong?"

Vance shook his head violently. "Do something? Are you kidding? No, no way! You've been an awesome boyfriend-"

"But you're breaking up with me?" Roman blinked a few times, desperate not to cry.

Vance let out a sigh. "Yes."

"For Cassidy. On the track time." Roman's voice gained a bit of an edge as he spoke.

"Heh… I see word travels fast." Vance grumbled, looking away again. Roman covered his head in his hands. Little tears were starting to fall down his face and he'd be damned if he let Vance see them.

"You're dumping me for Cassidy on the track team?" Roman's voice was muffled, and Vance sighed.

"Oh no… Roman…I'm sorry… please don't cry…. Ro come on, we're in public."

"Crying? Who's crying?" Roman lifted his head from his hands, eyes a bit red.

"Roman…."

Roman let out a laugh that held no humor to it. "Why would I be crying, I'm an adult, thank you."

"Don't call yourself an adult when you have stickers all over your face."

It was true, Roman did have stickers on his face: two gold stars, one on his left cheek and the other near his right eyes. It was one of many ways Roman showcased himself to the world, and he was proud of it.

"I can have stickers all over my face and handle my boyfriend breaking up with me three weeks before prom because that’s what adults do!" Roman's voice grew louder as he spoke, drawing attention from the people around them. Neither boy cared. Roman loved attention and Vance was used to it, due to Roman's dramatic flair.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Vance's voice had become soft again.

"Absolutely."

That had been twenty minutes ago.

Currently, the same boy who'd said he was 'absolutely' okay was sobbing on his bed with his best friends arms around him. Patton always smelled like cookies and vanilla and the smell was a comfort to Roman.

"Oh, Kiddo, breathe, just breathe it's going to be okay." Patton soothed, rubbing the taller boy's back as he continued to sob. He looked around at the other boy in the room. "Remy, we're going to need more tissues."

"How did I end upon tissue duty?" Said boy huffed, walking across the room with the tissues in his hands and his signature sunglasses pushed back.

"You were compelled by the ancient right of friendship!" Patton told him, before turning his attention back to Roman. "Here you go! Just take one-"

Roman proceeded to bury his face into the box.

"Or do that whatever works for you!" Patton looked back up. "Remy, we're going to need ice cream! Double-chocolate chunk, stat!"

"Now I'm on ice cream duty?" Remy sighed, crossing his arms.

"The power of friendship. It compels you!" That, or the fact Patton was starting to get into extreme dad mode, and that was a sight no one truly wanted to see.

"Gurl, I have track practice in fifteen minutes and if I don't get a coffee between now and then I am going to lose it."

"Vance..is on the track team! And so is Cassidy!" Roman instantly went back to sobbing at an even higher pitch than before. Patton winced.

"Oh my goodness, can we not bring up Track for now? Vance just dumped Ro-"

"-for Cassidy Stevenson?" Remy interrupted. " From the relay team? Yeah, I know. Cassidy hooked up with Vance at the post-meet and greet last week and then proceeded to spill everything to Alexandria Waters who is such a big mouth and told me- why are you looking at me like that?"

"You knew about this?" Patton growled.

"Um, yes darling I pride myself in knowing all this school's gossip-"

"You knew about this and didn't tell Roman?" Patton yelled, reaching over-protective dad mode, his eyes blazing as Remy took a step back.

"Hey, I didn't want to trigger that!" Remy waved his arms at Roman, who was still managing to cry even though he had been doing so for almost a half-hour now.

Patton sighed, backing down. "Fair. Ro, kiddo, how we doing?"

"They're probably warming up together wearing those stupid short- shorts! Vance looks good in stupid short-shorts! Why is running even a sport anyway? It's just walking a little faster!" After his stunning contribution, Roman went back to the tissue box.

"Okay, that's my limit, I'm going to get myself coffee and go to track." Remy flipped down his sunglasses. "But, Roman? Forget about him. You're perfect just the way you are."

Roman wasn't feeling that perfect- his eyes were red from crying and his throat burned. "Even with stickers on my face?"

“Especially with the stickers. Okay, hon? Okay."

"Okay." Roman agreed softly.

"I'm going to go. AND IM GOING TO SMOKE DOWN THAT UNGRATEFUL STICKERLESS ASSHOLE FOR YOUR HONOR!" Remy cried out, exiting the dorm with a whoop!

"Yeah, Remy! Be our Prince's knight! Roast him! With butter! And organic peanut butter!" Patton cheered.

"Thanks, Remy," Roman whispered as he watched his friend leave.

"See, Ro? Everything will turn out a-o-kay!"

Then, the door swung open. "My apologies, I got here as soon as I could, by which I mean as soon as the scholastic decathlon mixer wrapped up-" Despite his breathing making it sound like he had run to the dorms, Logan still managed to look as professional and orderly as ever. Patton gave him a quick smile.

"Took ya long enough! Ah, don't look so guilty Lo, I'm joking."

"Is he okay?" Logan asked, scanning the room for their usually over-the-top friend. "Where is he?"

Patton simply pointed to Roman's bed, where the boy had wrapped his arms around his legs and curled into a ball. He had finished sobbing, but a few stray tears slipped down his cheeks. Logan walked over to him and bent down.

"Hey Roman," Logan whispered softly, knowing by now how to deal with Roman after the brunet had a meltdown. None of his usual big words- that would only make Roman feel stupid and in turn make him feel worse "I had planned to save these for your birthday, but I got you some stickers…"

Roman looked up, his green eyes brightening the slightest of bits. "Stickers?"

"Yes, Ro. They have little crowns on them."

"Crown stickers?" Roman mumbled, his voice rough from his sobbing.

"And they're glittery too."

"Glittery crown stickers?"

"Mmhmm. All yours." Logan gently put the stickers down on the boy's knee. Roman instantly snatched them and turned around.

"Hey now, staying in your dorm and putting stickers on your face isn't the best thing for your mental health-"

"Huh?" Roman turned back around, one of the glittery stickers placed above Roman's nose.

"Oh Newton, ah, let's go for a walk. Fresh air and sunlight are proven to help increase mood." Logan helped Roman up and flashed Patton a nervous smile. "I'll take care of him, don't worry Pat."

Patton flashed him another smile, and Logan saw how Patton was exhausted. Dealing with Roman's meltdowns happened to have that effect on people. Logan knew in a single glance that Patton needed a break from his roommate.

Soon enough, Logan managed to drag Roman outside. "See, Roman? Don't you feel a little better with the sunshine?"

In response, Roman let out what sounded like a hiss."The vitamin D is infecting me."

Logan gave the other boy a small grin, happy that Roman had a least remembered one thing from science. "Then it's doing its job."

"Why am I outside?" Roman whined. "I could be covering my notebooks with pretty crown stickers and crying until the sunsets."

"Hey, hey, no thinking like that. It will only decrease your already unhappy mood. How about we head down to the café, get some smoothies? The fruit in them will make you feel better."

Roman crossed his arms. "Vance dumped me at the café."

Logan paled but immediately responded. "Okay, so I'm going to get us smoothies from somewhere that is most definitely not the café, okay? You stay here and take a moment to relax, okay?

Roman nodded, "Thanks, Lo. You're the best."

Logan nodded and turned away, hoping he had succeeded in hiding his growing blush from the other male. "It's okay, Ro. It's not a problem- it never is, not for you, you being a very good platonic friend." Smooth.  Logan quickly walked away before he could embarrass himself.

"I appreciate it," Roman called out after him, a small smile forming on his lips.

"He likes you." Roman jumped and spun on his heels. A boy was standing on the fountain behind him, his heterochromic eyes meeting Roman's

"Holy goth boy batman- where did you come from?"

"The fiery pits of hell." The way the boy said it, so deadpan, Roman wasn't exactly sure if he was kidding.

"Really?"

"No, I just got out of band practice." The boy said, rolling his eyes. Roman huffed.

"Oh, cool." Roman knew his boy, he just couldn't be a finger on the name… aha! "You're Damien, right? I think we have home ec together?"

"Yup, you're the boy with the stickers."

Roman nodded. "My reputation proceeds me. I'm Roman."

"Roman… I've heard a lot about Roman recently." Damien looked him in the eyes again. "You just got dumped."

Roman winced. "If I did, it was for reasons completely unrelated to stickers."

Damien laughed. "I'm sure. How are you holding up? A broken heart is no small matter."

If he was honest, Roman was surprised that Damien, a boy he'd had about three conversations with, was concerned for his well being. "Me? I'm totally fine! Some people just can't handle me!"

Damien looked unimpressed. "Your eyes are red and your voice keeps cracking."

"Hmpft."

The other boy sighed from his position on the fountain. "You don't think Vance was in love with you?"

Roman huffed. "I never know! People are so annoying! They all lack the ability to communicate properly and show affection-  I wouldn't know if someone liked me if they came up right behind me!"

"Roman!" Roman turned on his heels and saw Logan peeking out a doorway. "I'm aware that your favorite smoothie is-" Logan proceeded to spell out Roman's overly complicated order. "-but is there anything else you need? They have red velvet cupcakes? With rainbow sprinkles? I know that's your favorite."

"Oh, that sounds amazing! Here, I think I have a few dollars-" Roman started to rummage around in his pockets.

"Not necessary, Ro. It's on me."

"Oh, really? Are you sure?"

"Affirmative." Logan ducked back into the café, and Roman turned back to Damien, who had jumped off the fountain and came closer to the brown haired boy.

"Can't show affection?" Damien grumbled.

"Mmhmm! As I was saying, Humans? Brick walls. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. They wouldn't know how to show lo-"

Damien stared at Roman like he was having a hard time processing what Roman was saying. "Riiiight. I think I might have something for you that will help your current…predicament."

"Huh?"

Damien pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, pulled something off it and stuck it to Roman's cheek. It was another sticker, this one a rather large red heart.

"Damien?  Did you just give me a stic-"

The other boy gave him a smile. "Abracadabra."

Then, Roman proceeded to faint.

.....

Processing...

Welcome New User

Welcome to HEART POINT

.....

Roman's thoughts were murky as he started to wake up.  What had happened? He had been talking too that senior- Damien!- and Logan had gone out to get smoothies and cupcakes- so why did it feel like Roman was laying against his bed?

Patton's voice woke him up faster. His best friend sounded really worried? Had Remy gotten hurt at Track? Had he found out that Logan still was staying up late studying? Roman opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. So he was in his dorm.

"Should we take him to the nurse?' Patton fretted, and from what Roman could hear, was pacing.

"For what, a broken heart?" That was Remy.

Roman sat up and groaned, directing both boys’ attention to him. "Kiddo! You're okay!" Patton ran over to his bed and helped Roman up. "You gave us quite the scare, fainting like that! Logan had to carry you all the way to our dorm."

"Yeah, babe, he was really freaked. Totes unusual for him." Remy took a sip of his drink.

Roman squinted at his friends. There was something off here… oh, wait… that was new…

"Why are there stars above your heads? And that's a heart?" There were indeed stars and hearts above his friends' heads: four gold stars floating over Patton's, and three gold stars and one red heart over Remy's. Roman blinked a few times, but the images were still there. In the corners of his vision, he noticed something else. In the bottom left corner, there was a red and gold circle with the words: Roman, Level One cutting through it. In the top right, was a similar circle with the words: Dorms and Evening cutting through it.

What was happening?

Remy looked up but apparently could not see that floating images above his head. Patton looked two, and at the same time both boys muttered, "Oh, Roman.."

"And what's with this border thing? I'm on level one? What?" Roman shook his head a few times, trying to shake it off. "It's all around my vision- I can't get rid of it!"

"Ro, calm down! You probably hit your head when you fainted, It's okay." Patton, on his tippy-toes, placed his hands on his friend's shoulders. "Breathe, okay?"

Roman nodded and took a few, long breaths. The stars, heart and the weird border were still there.

"Roman, hun, we good now?" Remy asked. Roman simply nodded, even though he was most definitely not good.

There was a knocking on the door, and Patton removed his hands and went to answer it. "That's probably Lo! He went to get you some ibuprofen!"

Sure enough, it was Logan, carrying a little bottle in his hand. "Roman, I see you've woken up. You had me nervous for a bit there."

"Nervous isn't the word I'd use," Remy mumbled into his drink.

Roman sucked in a breath. "Logan?"

"Yes, that is my name." Logan turned to Patton. "Is he okay?"

Patton sighed. "It's been a long day, we're going to cut Ro some slac-"

"That's a lot of hearts." Roman blurted, because, in fact, floating over Logan's head were three gold stars and four red hearts.

"Hearts? Roman, do you require-" Logan continued to talk, but Roman subconsciously blocked him out. He raised his head to his cheek, and it rested on the sticker Damien had given him: the red heart.

[ezzydean]

your hubris brings me to my knees (14)

for @ushioi-fanmonth I am going to put each day of the week’s prompts in the same au (aka all the Mondays will be one, Tuesdays will be another, etc, etc)

finishing off the month with doubling the prompts.  so the last two prompt of each day will be smushed together because 1) i am a week behind with writing and 2) i do what i want

enjoy this last week friends!

Tuesday - superhero/villains & single dad au

under a cut cause this bad boy hit 2k!

A pair of big hazel eyes stared up at him from under a mop of messy light brown hair.  Tooru stared back down into those eyes.  He felt a little bit like he could see eternity in them.  It was an oddly familiar sensation.

“Yep,” the little girl said loudly, nodding like Tooru had just confirmed something for her.  “Here’s my papa.”

Tooru jerked his head back a little and looked around the library for another adult.  He was trying to figure out just what the heck this little girl was talking about because as far as he knew he had never done anything that could produce a child.  Not unless you really could get pregnant from kissing.  And if you could then… damn.

“Um.”

“Call me Misaki,” she whispered conspiratorially.  It was a strange thing to hear from a small child but there was no mistaking the look in her eyes.

“Right.  Um.  Misaki.  I think you mistook me for someone else.  I’m not anyone’s papa.”

He looked around.  The library seemed to be deserted all of a sudden.  What had been a quiet background murmur of people paging through books was now an eerie silence.  Like they were in a vacuum.  A black hole of sound right here in the History section.

“Silly papa.”

Tooru looked back at her and opened his mouth to reply when someone stepped out from the end of a nearby aisle.

“Misaki there you are!  You can’t just-”  The librarian stopped when she spotted Tooru.  “Oh Oikawa.  I didn’t realize you were who she was talking about all this time.  My apologies.  But you really shouldn’t just let her wander around.  You never know what sort of horrible people could be waiting to snatch up this precious little girl.”

Before he could say a word the librarian was gone again and he was alone with Misaki.

“I am so confused,” he whispered.

Misaki took his hand and tugged him towards the chairs set up a few feet away.  “It’s okay.  She confuses me sometimes too.”

“She is right, you know.”  They’re seated next to each other, chair arms touching after Misaki had stared at him until he moved the chairs where she wanted them to be.  “You can’t just go around claiming someone is your papa.  What if I had been a bad person and snatched you up?”

She laughed at him, high and carefree laughter that only seems to come from a child, and shook her head.

“Nope.  You’re a good person.  You’re Takeru-chan’s uncle.  He comes into the school and helps teach us all the time and he talks about you a lot.  And you’re here in the library all the time.  I always see you.”

It was a strange thing to say.  Because he couldn’t remember ever seeing her before.

They had been there for almost an hour, Tooru barely listening to her chattering while trying to figure out why the librarian just assumed she was his daughter and if he had ever given any indication he had children and when exactly Misaki had seen him and why she decided that he was her papa, when her irritated huff drew his attention.  It was nostalgic in the way that hearing Hajime call him ‘Shittykawa’ was nostalgic and with a sudden clarity he snapped his eyes to her.

“And then Yasu is just all ‘volleyball this’ and ‘soccer that’ and father just doesn’t get why I like books so much but he tries to.  So he brings me here while Yasu is at practice.”  He watched her eyes slide past him towards the front of the library and her face lit up.  “Oh there they are!”

He didn’t even have to turn around to know who her father was.  The way her face lit up, subtly but there if you knew what to look for, and the way she straightened her posture, not that it was bad to begin with, were so familiar he could have described them without ever having seen them on her.  She was a tiny feminine version of Wakatoshi right down to the way she blinked in confusion when she glanced over at Tooru’s awestruck expression.

“Misaki we have talked about bothering strangers.”

“But he’s not a stranger father.  I promise!”

Tooru took a steadying breath and turned around to look up at Wakatoshi.

“Hello Ushijima,” he said softly.

It was only because he knew the other man so well that he could read Wakatoshi’s.  His face showed next to nothing, his gaze never flickered beyond recognition, his body stayed exactly the same tenseness.  The only tell was the way his fingers twitched ever so slightly and he blinked a few more times than usual.  And the fact that Tooru could remember was a ‘usual’ amount of blinking was for Wakatoshi just cemented what he already knew: he had never really gotten over the other man.

Misaki leaned around from behind Wakatoshi and Tooru nearly startled before he realized that this must be Yasu.  Yasu had the exact same messy light brown hair and big hazel eyes as Misaki.  There was a light dusting of freckles on Yasu’s forehead that Misaki was lacking, probably due to Misaki preferring the indoors and books instead of outdoors and sports.

Twins.  Ushijima Wakatoshi was a father.  To twins.

—

“I truly am sorry for any trouble Misaki caused you.  She can be rather impulsive.”

Tooru glanced from where the twins were playing on the swings to the man sitting on the bench beside him.

“Oh she wasn’t any trouble at all.  A bit more talkative than I’m used to from a child who has never met me.  But no trouble I promise.”

“Talkative?”

Tooru studied the man beside him.  Ushijima hadn’t changed all that much in the years since they had graduated.  He was still all broad shoulders and serious expressions.  But there were lines around his eyes and a few gray hairs scattered on his head.  He held himself the same as always but there was a looseness to it that told of age and experience.  The softness in his eyes when he looked at the twins was a thing that Tooru would have killed to have directed at him when they had been together.  Not that Ushijima wasn’t soft or kind to Tooru back then.  They had just both been kind of shit at being able to express it when they weren’t tipsy or being goaded on by their friends.

“Yeah, talkative.”  He jolted back to the present when he heard Misaki laughing.  “I heard all about how you’re a big superhero who fights off all the villains in the world.”

Ushijima let out a quiet huff of laughter.  “She doesn’t quite understand what a paramedic does.”

“Or she does and she just likes to add to her stories.  Either way you’re her hero.”

“If it makes you feel any better you are Yasu’s hero.”

Tooru scoffed.  “Me?  The kid doesn’t even know me.”

“Yasu has heard many stories of you.  I believe they idolize you a little.”

“They idolize me - the washout high school star who blew their knee and their chances of going pro?  Over you - the superstar?”

Wakatoshi shook his head sadly.  “You never did see yourself the way I saw you, Tooru.  I suppose my stories of you colored you in a different light for Yasu.”

—

The library had become their thing to do.  Tooru still wasn’t sure why Misaki was always here during practice times and not off with her mother or something.  And no matter how many times he had tried to mention it to Wakatoshi the other man refused to tell him anything.  But that was okay.  Because it meant that Tooru got to spend time with Misaki.  And then after practice Wakatoshi and Yasu would wander into the library and the four of them would go to the park or, if the weather was bad, they’d hurry to the diner down the street.

He had Wakatoshi back in his life after nearly a decade and it was all thanks to the little girl curled up in the chair beside him paging through an astronomy book for children.

“Why did you decide to say I was your papa that day?”

Misaki looked up at him after a moment and scrunched her face in thought.  “Well,” she said slowly, like she wasn’t sure how to tell him.  “One time when mother and father were still together they argued and the didn’t know Yasu and I had made a fort in their closet in their room and I was reading there.  They didn’t mean to argue in front of me.”  She looked up at him with her big wide eyes and he nodded understandingly.  “They didn’t like arguing.  And never in front of me and Yasu.”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t have done it if they knew you were there.”

“No. They wouldn’t have.  But they didn’t know.  So they did.  They argued and mother told father that he should just go find you and make you my and Yasu’s other dad because he still loved you more than her.  So when I came to the library and saw you I figured if father loved you so much that you wouldn’t mind being my papa.”

There was a lot to take in and Tooru simply nodded and let Misaki turn back to her book.

—

It had been nearly eight months since the day Misaki had come up to him in the library and it was the first time he and Yasu were left completely alone.

“Will Misaki be okay?”

Tooru looked down at the child sitting next to him on the park bench.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine.  She’s got your father looking out for her after all, right?”

Yasu’s face scrunched up with worry.  “I guess.  It’s just weird that father’s not here.  He always takes me to practice.”

“I know he wanted to be here.  But, between you and me?”  Tooru nudged Yasu’s shoulder gently.  “You got the better end of the deal.  I’m horrible at taking care of sick people.  Just ask your father about the week I had to help take care of him and my roommate in university because they got the flu.”

Yasu smiled just a little.  But knowing their father and his expressions the way he did Tooru counted it as a huge win.

“He had told us that story once.  Not long after mother left and I got the flu.”

Tooru went still beside Yasu.  Yasu and Misaki spoke of their mother kindly, but rarely spoke of her around Wakatoshi.  He wondered if it was simply because they didn’t want to bring up potentially bittersweet memories to their father.  Maybe they didn’t even realize they did it.  They were only six after all, still plenty young enough to not fully understand adult things like that.

“I’m sorry,” Tooru said softly.  He wasn’t sure what exactly he was apologizing for.

“It’s okay.  Mother gets to see the world.  And father still has us.  And now we have you.  Maybe?”

Yasu looked up at Tooru with so much hope in their eyes that Tooru could barely stand it.  It was an easy question to answer.  It kind of always had been.

“If all of you will have me then who am I to say no?”

—

“Papa,” Misaki’s voice dug into Tooru’s skull, pulling and yanking at every last trace of sleepiness in him.

“Papa,” Yasu whined softly and Tooru snapped awake, instantly on alert.

“Father’s making breakfast,” they said, perfectly in sync, and Tooru was on his feet and halfway down the hallway before their giggling faces even registered.  Wakatoshi was not a good cook and Tooru didn’t need a visit from the fire department today.

“Happy anniversary,” Wakatoshi said as Tooru skidded across the tiles of the kitchen floor.  Last night’s leftovers sat innocently on the table, safely reheated and dished out without a single char or crispy piece to be found.

“Your children are menaces,” Tooru announced.

Wakatoshi kissed his cheek and guided him to a chair at the table.

“Our children,” Wakatoshi reminded him serenely, “are growing up into wonderfully independent thinking individuals.”

Something thumped to the floor from the direction of the bedrooms and muffled laughter followed.  Most likely yet another attempt at turning the hallway into a fort of some kind.

“Menaces.”

“Happy anniversary,” Wakatoshi repeated, drawing Tooru into a soft kiss.

“Happy anniversary,” Tooru murmured against Wakatoshi’s lips.

[extraterrestreilegal]

Chapter IX

It was getting towards the end of my first freshman year and I’d done nothing but skip school, smoke weed, and work. I stopped going to the gym every now and then because I’d developed a new addiction, working out. It was getting out of hand, I’d become obsessed with losing weight that I stopped caring about other aspects of my life. I wasn’t even focused on bettering my mental state anymore, I figured if I could change how I looked, my parents wouldn’t have to look at an ugly disappointment. The unfortunate thing was that they probably liked that I was working.

They were no longer buying my brother or I anything. Their only worry was getting my younger brother to not turn out like us. I’m glad they cared about him and now were truly focusing on being better parents, but they forgot Alex and I were still children. We needed our parents now more than anything, but they found it easier to mold a newborn than realize their two other children were hurting.

It didn’t seem like it to anyone outside of my family, but that household was a toxic environment to grow up in. Remember how I said my parents used to beat us? Well they also beat us when we’d misbehave or as much as move a muscle without being told to. They beat it into our brains when we were younger to not speak unless spoken to. To be quiet when the adults were talking. They didn’t teach us these things, they were beat into us. Whatever they could find near them, that was what was used to hit us. One time it was an old brick of a phone made by the company Nokia that knocked me unconscious. Another time it was a knife that luckily the back end hit my head. On another occasion it was a bowl of boiling soup being thrown at Alex’s face. You see, I grew up hearing kids complain about their parents smacking them or hitting them with a belt. I wish it had just been a belt. I wish it had been just a smack. I wished for years that the torture would end. And it never did because I was stuck on trying to make my parents happy and proud of me instead of doing it for myself.

I spent most of life trying to please them, and then one day I met someone who would change my life forever. It had been raining during the day and my friends and I had made plans to go out to the club. I was young but I had been going to the club for a bit now. There was a local hispanic night club and the bouncers knew my brother and his friends, so they would let us in to party. I didn’t talk to them much but I went because either my parents didn’t want me to be at home, or I myself didn’t want to be home. One night my plans fell through and I was walking the road behind my neighborhood. I’d left my phone at home because it was another one of those days where nothing was going right, so I just wanted to distance myself from everyone. It eventually stopped raining and I decided to go on a walk with my clothes still on ready to go to the club.

As I’m walking in the middle of the road, I’m looking up at the now-clear night sky thinking. I was feeling upset because I by now I had been using the club to get myself to try like women more. I tried really hard to find women attractive but as I was getting older, I was only looking at the men. I would go to the club with the thought in my head that I would go up to a woman and ask her to dance, but it never felt right. I didn’t know it then that nothing was wrong with me, but it was something I didn’t want. I wanted to be normal like everyone else and not have to think this way. But whenever I’d get the courage to ask a woman to dance, I’d get nervous because I’d start to look at their man and think to myself, “Damn, can’t I just ask you?”

As I’m walking down the dark road, I see a light appear behind me. It was only about 10:00PM but growing up undocumented, I was raised to constantly watch my shoulder. I was raised to always make sure I knew which way to run if any danger was near. No one saw how my upbringing and undocumented status was causing me anxiety and paranoia because I was also raised to hide it. Who knew I’d be playing hide in seek in my own messed up ways, unlike the other kids who got the chance to live out their childhood as the children they were.

As the light was growing closer, I tried to look over my shoulders to see what kind of car it was. I had no luck as the bright lights were blinding me from seeing the top of the car to check for police lights. The lights were now directly behind me but they’d stopped moving towards me. All of a sudden I realized the car had stopped directly behind me. If you know anything about the road I was on, you’d understand why I didn’t run yet. The particular part I was by, the road had ditches on both sides of the road. If I made a run for it over the ditches though, there was a chance I’d fall in, defeating the purpose of me leaving the scene as soon and swiftly as possible. But if I ran in any other direction, the car could easily follow me, since there was no where to run towards but an open field or down the road.

All of a sudden I heard the sound of a window sliding down. Unsure of what was going on I continued to walk like nothing was wrong. But then I heard a girl’s voice yell, “Hey you! Walking! Come here!”

I know what some of you may be thinking, wasn’t I just scared of the car? I was, but curiosity took over me and I stopped walking and turned around. I made my way towards the car and I could slowly but surely make out the silhouette of two girls. As I approached the window, I saw a brown haired, fair skinned, girl smiling at me. She looked lost but seemed glad I actually turned around to talk to a stranger in the middle of the night on a dark road. She then proceeded to introduce herself, “Hi there! I’m Sarah, first of all, why are you walking alone on a dark a road in the middle of the night? And secondly, I got lost and I was wondering if you could help me out and point me to which direction the highway towards Detroit is.”

Confused but now sure they didn’t mean any harm, I replied in a tone I can only describe as the gay-lisp, “Oh you know, plans fell through. The usual haha. But you’re actually very close, you just keep going down the road, make a right, and eventually you’ll get there.”

Before I even gave her a chance to respond, I turned around and started walking my little gay ass back in the direction I was heading. As I was walking away I could hear slight arguing coming from their car, but I didn’t pay attention to it until I heard the girl in the passenger seat say, “No! He looks too young!”

Then I heard Sarah’s voice calling for me, “Hey night walker! Come back!”

Hesitantly but surely, I turned around and made my way back towards the open window. As I was walking up, I could see Sarah smiling now that my vision had adjusted to the brightness of the headlights. I get to the window and she said, “Hi, Sarah again, what’s your name? This is Tina.”

I smiled and said, “Hi, I’m Frito, so what exactly am I too young for?”

She giggled and said, “Don’t mind Tina, she just doesn’t seem to remember we were all young at some point. How old are you?”

I thought about it for a second and I wasn’t sure whether to tell them how old I really was, “Four—sixteen.”

She laughed for a second and said, “So are you fourteen or sixteen? Come on there’s no need to lie haha.”

I sighed and said, “Okay fine, yeah, I’m only fourteen, but what am I still too young for?”

She said, “Well, you said your plans fell through. I was just wondering if you’d like to join us.”

At this point I hadn’t processed much of what she had said or I probably would’ve never done what I did. I simply asked, “Join you? I don’t know you guys.”

She laughed and said, “Well join us and you can get to know us. I don’t think we’re that bad haha.”

I laughed and said, “Alrighty, where are we going?”

She smiled and said, “Oh, we’re just going to Walmart for a few things.”

Now, I hadn’t thought about why she originally was asking on directions towards Detroit, but that would eventually become apparent. Without much hesitation, I agreed and she unlocked the doors to let me into the car. It was a 2003 Buick LaSabre and the seats were a beige fabric that was clearly stained with ashes. I could smell the faint smell of freshly burned marijuana and cigarettes. I of course didn’t mind because by now I was smoking every day so I’d been accustomed to it. We were making our way towards Walmart, which they also had no idea where it was, and suddenly Sarah turned and asked me, “Do you drink?”

Now I know I said I’d grown up drinking my whole life, but when I really started smoking weed in eighth grade, I’d found that it’d been helping with my now developed eating disorders and mental disorders. Whenever I drank by now, I never felt like myself. By now it’d always felt like the more I drank, the higher the chances were of me turning out like my father. So I tried not to as much as I could—which unfortunately is hard to avoid living in a hispanic household. But without much thought, I simply responded with, “Not too much these days.”

Sarah smiled and said, “Oh, these days?”

I just looked at her and smiled because I didn’t really want to explain my messed up life and how I’d been living until that point. The rest of the ride to Walmart was short but quiet. We eventually made it to Walmart and I will never forget the grin on Sarah and Tina’s face before we stepped out of the car. I knew something was up but I tried to dismiss it as much as I could because I didn’t want to make it clear that I was now feeling slightly uncomfortable.

As we made our way to the door, Sarah and Tina were playing around like elementary school kids. Trying to jump on top of each other but laughing and yelling hysterically for each other to stop. I smiled because I hadn’t been around genuine happiness like that, I was used to being around people who found happiness artificially. I was admittedly jealous that I didn’t have anyone I could be like that with. But I was now feeling glad I had made the choice to come along on a trip with two strange friendly girls. Unknown to me then, this night would be the start of the life I lived in secrecy. The start of excruciating pain that’d last a life time and traumatize my young mind for the rest of my life. I was looking for happiness and love in places unknown to me. I was used to doing things on my own, so why should my quest for finding those things be any different? I had to do it all on my own. And I eventually did.

[panda-noosh]

Runaways {Keith x Reader}

Words: 9k

  Summary: In which you and Keith are both runaways who end up meeting outside of a motel – neither of you have enough money for one room, so you end up taking a risk and putting your money together, buying one room between the two of you – despite being complete strangers.  

  Genre: fluff - angst

  Notes: masterlist - soft keith for the win 

  ---

     “You've got to be fucking kidding me.”

   You patted the pockets of your jacket in haste, as if doing so would somehow make your wallet appear within one of them; you could not believe yourself. You could not believe you had decided to run away from home and forgotten the one piece of equipment that would actually get you a place to stay; your wallet.

   The few coins and notes bouncing around in your pockets jingled as you patted your shirt, but they would surely never be enough. You had only just managed to grab a few bits of change off the kitchen table before you were telling your parents to go to hell and fleeing through the front door, swinging your backpack over your shoulder. It would have just been embarrassing if you would have run back into the house to retrieve your wallet.

    You grunted and leaned back against the wall of the motel you had walked to. It was the cheapest, closest one you could find, but with what little money you had, it didn't matter. There was no way in hell you'd be able to buy a room with only a couple of coins. If you were to show them the handful of coins you had, the few notes you had grabbed, the people at the front desk would most likely laugh in your face and tell you to stop messing around.

   The thought of sleeping outside haunted you as you slid down the wall of the motel and gripped your head in your hands – the argument you had gotten into with your parents had been the worst yet, basically forcing you out of the front door without looking back. Sure, adrenaline was mixed in there. You had been rash, a proper teenage reaction to something that was so normal, but there was no turning back now. You didn't want to live with your parents, especially not now that they had made their feelings towards you incredibly clear. Neither of them had bothered to come searching for you, though you had expected nothing less.

   As these thoughts drifted through your mind and the sun slowly started to set, casting your small town into darkness, a man approached the door of the motel.

   He couldn't have been much older than you, dark hair that was neat in the front but flicked out at the back. He, too, was busy patting the pockets of his red jacket, mumbling under his breath. By the looks of things, he had come a long way – he had a bag slung over his shoulder, a hat clipped to his belt in the way tourists often did.

   You watched him curiously.

    “You have got to be fucking kidding me,” he whispered to no one in particular, making you grin. Those were the exact words you had spoken only moments before, and by the looks of things, he was in a similar situation to you. “Did my dinner really cost that much...?”

   He pouted and glanced up at the flashing sign hung up above the door of the motel. He read it over a few times before looking back down at the small assortment of coins he had gathered in the palm of his hand; he started to count them, shook his head and stuffed them back into his pocket.

   “It's worth a try,” he grunted. He shook his shoulders out, stepped forward, placed his hand on the door -

   “I wouldn't bother if I were you,” you spoke up.

   The stranger started, jumping away from the door and glancing around rapidly. You had been hidden in the shadows, but the strangers eyes soon zoomed down to look at you.

   He raised a brow.

   “What?”

   “I wouldn't bother,” you repeated, nodding towards the sign. “They're already a failing business – there's no way in hell they're gonna give you a discount.”

   The stranger frowned, letting his eyes linger on you for a moment longer before he glanced back towards the motel doors. “You're sure?”

   “Positive,” you replied. “Trust me – I would be the first through them doors right now if I thought they'd give me a room for free.”

    The stranger groaned, throwing his head back and rubbing at his eyes in exhaustion. You watched him, resisting the urge to grin at him; neither of you were in any situation to be grinning. Whilst you were fairly certain you were going to have to sleep on the side of the road until tomorrow morning, the man before you had clearly spent his last remaining coins on his dinner, meaning he, too, would have to find alternative sleeping arrangements.

   It was not a good day.

    The stranger slumped down against the wall next to you and buried his head in his hands. He looked exhausted, his head lingering in his palms for so long that you were truly beginning to think he had fallen asleep. But then he slowly dragged his fingers down his face, revealing the pale skin and the bags beneath his eyes.

    “What are you doing out in the middle of the night?” he asked suddenly.

   Your eyes snapped over to him, an eyebrow raised. He shrugged, obviously not caring about what you thought about his curiosity.

   “Tell me, or don't,” he grunted.

    You scoffed. “I'm in the same boat as you, buddy. I don't have enough money for a room, which means I'll have nowhere to sleep tonight.”

   “Oh shit, really?” He shuddered. “You new to town?”

   “No. I live down the street.”

   He raised a brow. “So why are you-”

   “I'd rather not get into the details,” you grumbled. “I'm Y/N.”

  “Keith,” the man replied. “Well, Y/N, it looks like we've both positively fucked ourselves over. I've been on the run from my boarding school for nearly two weeks now.”

   You very nearly choked on air, shocked at how calmly he had told you such a thing, shocked that he was on the run in the first place. Your head snapped around to look at him, but he was too busy chewing on the inside of his cheek and gazing around at the eerie shadows to notice.

   “Are you serious?” you hissed. “Are you not gonna get in so much trouble?”

   “Only if they find me,” Keith replied. “Which, at this rate, they probably will. It won't be difficult to find a kid sleeping in the middle of the damn street.”

   You hollowed out your cheeks. “That's crazy.”

   “Yeah, well.” He shrugged before turning to look at you; it was only then that you noticed the violet colouring of his eyes, a subtle ring of blue around the outside. You very nearly found yourself staring at them and gaping, but managed to catch yourself before your awe became too obvious. “How much money did you bring with you, anyway? Surely your parents didn't let you leave the house empty handed?”

   “I brought twenty pounds and some change,” you replied, fishing the twenty pound note and the coins out of your pocket as if needing to prove to him that that was all you had. “And you?”

   He reached into his pocket and pulled out a twenty pound note of his own, along with some pound coins that glittered in his palm. “Thirty. I had thirty five, but I must have spent a fiver on my dinner today without noticing....”

   You frowned, shifting your gaze between the money held out in front of you – your twenty and his thirty would buy you both a room for at least a night, you knew that much . . . But the idea of sharing a room with a stranger. . .

   Your thoughts of apprehension were cut off by the sound of police sirens wailing in the distance.

   Before you could react, Keith had jumped up, grabbed your hand and was pulling you behind the wall of the motel. You yelped, flinching as he shoved you against it, put one hand at the side of your head so he could tilt his own head forward to catch a glimpse of the passing authorities.  

   “What the hell?” you hissed, shoving him away. He stumbled, eyes wide and trained firm on the passing police car. “I thought you were gonna murder me!”

   “Are there always police cars speeding about around here?” he asked, ignoring your previous comment.

   You raised a brow. “I don't – I mean, none more than other places, I'm assuming. Why? You're not a criminal, are you?”

   Keith bared his teeth as if the question brought him pain to even think about. “No, I'm not a god damn criminal, but the head commander at my school no doubt called the police and reported me missing – any of them police men could have my face plastered up in their station, meaning one glance at me and-”

   You were speaking before your brain could really filter what you were saying. “How about we put our money together and get a room to share for the night? It'll get you off the streets, and it'll give me a warm bed to stay in until I can find somewhere else to stay.”

   Keith froze, his mouth opening just slightly, as if a reply was playing at the tip of his tongue but was unable to genuinely form a sentence. You flushed under his gaze, suddenly wishing you could retract your words and replace them with something else; perhaps a 'goodbye' would have sufficed.

    But slowly, Keith started nodding. “That's a good idea. I don't know why I didn't think of that.”

    Because it's absolutely insane. That was all you could think as you followed Keith into the small lobby of the motel. You tipped your money into his hand and let him approach the front desk, giving him the orders to get a single room with two single beds inside of it.

   This is insane.

   You had never spoken to this man before in your entire life – not until tonight. Not until the two of you had run into each other in the dead of night, both of you runaways, probably making the worst decisions of your life. Perhaps that was why you had bonded almost immediately – you were both well aware of the impending downfall your choices were going to lead you to, and somehow, having somebody to come along for the ride was a comfort.

   But sharing a room with him? Handing over the only money you had got with you, as if this stranger was nobody more than a friend you had known for years – it was insane, went against every life lesson your parents and every other adult you had met growing up, had taught you.

    But it was the only option. Sleeping under a bus stop was always there, but you wanted to keep it as a lost resort. You had run away to get away from your problems, not be faced with even more.

  After a few moments of bartering over the desk, Keith turned to you and waved the room keys in your direction. You let out a sigh of relief, though you weren't entirely sure why – your stomach was still filled with butterflies, and you still forced yourself to keep a healthy distance behind him as the two of you walked through the narrow hallways in search of your room; you had no idea who he was, though you doubted he had the power to do anything to you. Still – it was best to take precautions.

   Eventually you both came upon the room that had been assigned to you, and Keith pushed open the door. The smell of window cleaner immediately attacked your senses, and you crinkled your nose up in disgust. Keith grunted, clearly taken off guard by the smell himself.

   At least the room was in tact. You had read enough fanfictions to know that it was apparently a common occurrence for motels and hotels alike to mess up bedroom orders, leaving two occupants with only one bed between them – that wasn't the case this time. Two single beds were pressed up against either wall with freshly washed sheets draped over them and a lamp beside each.

   You immediately scattered across the room and slumped down onto the one nearest the window – the view was nothing special. The back of an old night club, a brick wall with dustbins laid out around it. You could see a couple making out in the corner and a man emptying the contents of his stomach on the other side of them.

   You closed the curtains and flicked your lamp on instead.

   Keith was still inspecting the room as if he believed the workers at the motel had somehow wire-tapped it or something. He paced back and forth, picking up pillows and checking beneath them, opening random doors and checking the contents. You watched him curiously, fighting off that smile of amusement which was trying to force its way forward.

   You immediately knew where he came from.

   “So that boarding school you're running away from,” you said as Keith shook up a bottle of water and checked for anything inside of it. “It doesn't happen to be the Galaxy Garrison, does it?”

   Keith looked over his shoulder at you. “How did you know?”

   “Just a hunch.” In truth, you had been friends with plenty of people who had gone off to the Galaxy Garrison – it was one of the most well-known, prestigious flight schools in the country, and almost everybody who went there came out with a military level of paranoia. They were taught to not trust anything or anyone – it was clear that Keith had left early, since he had very willingly walked into a small room with a complete stranger.

    Keith continued his search for a number of minutes before finally flopping down on the mattress of the other bed and kicking his shoes off. They landed on the carpet with a thunk, and you winced as dust particles flew up around you.

    “Well, what can you expect for fifty pounds?” Keith grunted, rolling over onto his side and curling his knees into his chest. “I'm exhausted.”

   “Get some sleep, then,” you advised. “I'll wake you up if any police come knocking.”

   Keith peeked open an eye, shooting you a glare. “Not funny. I'll be a dead man if they find out where I am.”

   You chuckled, leaning back against the wall and folding your arms over your chest. Outside, you would have done anything to slip into a comfortable sleep, but now you found yourself energized, suddenly wanting to speak to Keith, learn stuff about him – maybe then you would trust him a bit more and not feel so hesitant to let your guard down.

    “So the teachers from the Garrison are really just thinking you went missing?”

   Keith propped himself up on an elbow, leaned his head against his palm. “I guess so. I haven't really gone back to check or anything – I left a few friends behind who I want to find a way to contact, but it's too risky at the minute. Too fresh.”

    “And your parents aren't . . . Well, I mean, they must be worried, right? Surely the teachers would have called them up to tell them their son's just disappeared off the face of the earth.”

  Keith frowned, the expression exaggerating his exhaustion that much more. You felt bad for keeping him awake, but the questions were rolling off of your tongue without leash.

    “I don't exactly have parents who worry about me,” he replied. “I don't have parents at all.”

   Even though you didn't know him all that well, your heart still stammered in your chest; here you were, running away from your parents over some petty argument you had had with them – and this man in front of you didn't even have parents.

   “But let's not talk about that,” Keith said quickly. He waved his hand in front of his face, dismissing the topic entirely. “Tell me about what you're doing – what's made you run out of the house and risk homelessness?”

   You winced at the way he said it, as if it were the most casual thing in the world. In all honesty, the idea of homelessness was one that had your stomach reeling – you didn't want to be homeless, but if your money continued to run out at the speed it currently was, you were fairly certain you would be left with no other choice.

   You picked at the strap of your bag as you spoke, voice barely above a mumble. “My parents and I got into a pretty big fight and I just – I just packed my stuff and left. It was only a few hours ago, but neither of them have come looking for me – I'm fairly certain they're celebrating over a glass of wine right now.”   You laughed breathily, trying to add some level of humour to the horrible reality, but Keith didn't laugh along with you. He kept staring at you, a frown forming on his face that had you flushing and looking away quickly.

   “But it's okay,” you added. “I plan on contacting some friends in the morning to see if I can crash with one of them until I get my next shift at work and can earn enough to get a place of my own. It shouldn't be too difficult.”

   Keith hummed, a clear hint of disbelief in his voice.

   You shrugged, resisting the urge to wither under the weight of his violet eyes. “Anyway,” you coughed. “I should probably be getting to sleep. What time do they want us out of here?”

   “Any time before midnight tomorrow. So we have all day in here if we want.”

   “I'm afraid I can't,” you said. “And neither should you. You should be looking for somewhere to stay – the streets are dangerous at night.”

  Keith let his hand fall so his head clashed against the pillow lazily. “You barely even know me and you're already giving me a lecture on safety. I'm pretty sure I'm older than you.”

   “How old are you?”

   “Twenty.”

   You silently cursed. Keith grinned.

   “I take it I am older than you?”

  “Only by a year,” you grumbled. “But that's not the point! Just because you're older than me doesn't mean I can't give you pointers – you'll probably get robbed if you stay out at night.” You turned to look at him, unsure why you had suddenly grown so protective. “Promise me you'll spend all day tomorrow looking for some place to stay.”

   Keith smirked at you, eyes glittering with tired amusement. “Okay. I promise.”

   ---

   It turned out, Keith didn't really need to promise you anything.

   You would be able to keep an eye on him throughout the rest of the next day, anyway.

   The map that you were holding between you was blowing carelessly in the wind, making it extremely difficult to read. Keith apparently had incredible map reading skills, which he didn't hesitate to exaggerate to you whilst asking the old man if he could borrow said map – you had suggested simply using Google, since you still had a working phone on you, but Keith had refused.

   “We're on an adventure,” he had claimed. “We'll do things the traditional way.”

   The traditional way was looking to be a lot more hassle than Keith or you had expected.

   People were bustling around you, shoving your shoulders to get past as you and Keith stood in the centre of the pavement, looking down at the map in your hands; it was clearly old, some of the writing having been smudged, black Sharpie obscuring some of the streets you were trying to distinguish – you had, once again, suggested Google Maps, only for Keith to insist that he could make out what the map was saying perfectly fine.

   “You're not even from here,” you reminded him. “If anything, I should be the one in control of the map.”

  Keith rolled his eyes and snatched the page out of your hand entirely. The oversized map fluttered around him now that one side was free, and Keith grunted, swatting it out of his face. This action made the page rip entirely, leaving one side of the map totally useless.

   You let your eyes drift closed. Keith had frozen, staring at his mistake as if he couldn't quite believe something had gone wrong – despite everything going wrong beforehand.

   “Great,” you exclaimed. “Just great. Now we're poor and we're lost.”

   “Stop,” Keith hissed, nudging you with his elbow. “People are gonna look at us.”

   “Sorry. Do you want me to fix your hair for you? Maybe let you borrow my sunglasses so your commanders don't recognise you?”

   Keith gripped your arm and pulled you forward. You groaned, stumbling into his grip with little defiance, but a clear hint of annoyance etched onto your features – you were cold, and hungry, and your back was in pain from the bumpy mattress you had been forced to sleep on the night before. You wanted to go home. Your house was only a few hours away – you could easily catch a bus, go and beg for your parents forgiveness and be back to normal.

   But for some reason, the idea of leaving Keith all on his own kept you from doing any of that.

   “Look, I understand why you're in a bad mood,” Keith said, keeping his voice low. “We'll go and find a cheap cafe, eat our food and clear our heads. Everything will be okay.”

    “We don't have money for food, Keith.”

   “I have a few coins I can spare,” he replied. Your eyes softened, mouth opening to protest, but Keith cut you off. “We both need to eat. I can spare a few bits of change to pay for your food.”

   And he didn't let you say anything else about the topic. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, gave a passing old couple a large, overenthusiastic grin before he started leading you through the crowd towards the cafe he had in mind.

   The cafe was small, a large group of teenagers swarming around outside that hollered at you as you arrived at the doorway. Keith scowled, shooting them a glare over your shoulder before pushing you through the door.

    “Teenagers,” he grumbled, as if forgetting that you yourself were a teenager. You didn't bring it up, instead following him up to the counter with an amused grin on your face; you had only known this man for a short amount of time, but already you found great amusement in his frustration.

   Keith walked up to the counter and ordered two waters and two sandwiches – it was nothing big, but you didn't dare ask for anything more than that. You two would have to be on a very strict budget from now on, until you got your next wage from work and could finally pay towards eating decent food.

  You both found an empty booth at the back of the cafe and tucked in.

   The entire time, Keith kept his glare fixed directly on the boys outside. The large windows did very little to hide them, and the volume of their voices didn't add to their subtlety, either. One of them had even fallen into the pane on numerous occasions, making a loud knocking sound reverberate through the small cafe.

   You chewed, continued to stare at Keith. How he could sit in silence so comfortably was beyond you, but his mind was clearly on other things. You so desperately wanted to form some type of conversation with him to fill in the silence, but any time you tried to bring anything up, he either grunted in response or gave you a one word answer that added nothing to the conversation you were trying to have.

   Eventually, you had had enough. With a groan, you set your half-eaten sandwich down on the paper plate and span around in your seat, turning to get a look at the boys Keith seemed so interested in – they couldn't have been older than fifteen, some of them sat down in the high stools whilst some of them were balancing themselves between the window and the bikes they had mounted.

   As you span around in your seat, all of them suddenly looked away, as if they had been caught staring.

   “What is your problem?” you asked, turning back to Keith with a raised eyebrow. He was shaking his head in what looked like disbelief, his jaw open and his eyes still firm on the flustered boys outside. “They're just teenagers, Keith. They're not doing any-”

   “Did you see the gestures they were making behind you?” Keith exclaimed suddenly, the most words he had said since you had sat down.

  “What? No. I don't have eyes on the back of my-”

   “You know what? I think I'm gonna go talk to them.”

   Your eyes widened. Keith had already stood up. You just barely managed to grab his wrist before he could get much further than your booth. He froze.

   “You're gonna get yourself in even more trouble if you start yelling things at fifteen year olds,” you hissed, trying to keep your voice down. “We're trying not to attract attention to you, remember? Whatever they were doing, Keith, I don't mind, because I know they're only teenagers. They're just trying to be funny.”

   “There's nothing funny about being a gang of douchebags,” Keith mumbled, though he slowly lowered himself back into his chair. “I just don't understand what kids find so fun about making gestures like that to girls. It's . . . It's gross.”

   You shrugged, going back to eating your sandwich. “As I said, they're only teenagers.” You looked up at him then. “If they were my age, though, and I caught them doing anything, I'd very happily punch them in the balls.”

   Keith scoffed, a smile appearing on his face. That seemed to do the trick in easing him back into calmness, as he leaned back in his seat and started eating his sandwich again, this time starting a genuine conversation.

   You two must have sat in that cafe for hours, even after the food had been devoured and the waters had been downed. You leaned on your elbows as Keith lounged casually on his own chair, and you listened to each and every story he had to tell you; his life was so interesting, albeit a little sad at times. He told you about his parents, how little he knew of them, how his mother had left when he was only a baby and his father had died when he was young. He told you about how he had got into the Garrison, how he had truly thought it would be everything he would ever want in life – to become a pilot, to live amongst the stars like he was always told his mother did.

   But things had gotten too much for him, and he soon came to realise that the Garrison really wasn't the place for him, which was why he had ended up leaving.

    You told him about your life in a less enthusiastic tone – you didn't have half the experiences to your name that he did, meaning your stories mainly consisted of your life growing up in a normal retirement estate with your two parents. You struggled to tell him about the strained relationship you always had with your parents, but he listened nonetheless, kindly told you that you didn't have to go into detail if you felt like you couldn't.

   It was getting dark again by the time you and Keith were finally kicked out by the cashier who claimed she needed the table. The two of you walked out of the cafe, Keith just finishing off his description of Takashi Shirogane, his friend back at the Garrison.

   “He sounds like a great guy,” you said, stepping out into the cold air. “I wanna meet him one day.”

   “I'll get that arranged,” Keith said. You felt yourself blushing, the underlying promise of you and him seeing each other again after tonight pleasing you more than you cared to admit.

   “It's getting dark,” you said in an attempt to hide how flustered you were at such a simple concept. “We should probably be getting to bed soon, huh? Have you got somewhere to stay?”

   Keith didn't even hesitate when he nodded, and you found yourself blooming with a mild sense of disappointment – you should have been happy for him, of course. He had found himself some place to stay. He wouldn't be on the streets tonight whilst you were cuddled up under the covers at your friends place. But still – you would be lying if you were to claim you hadn't enjoyed the past day and a half with him. He kept you entertained. He made you laugh, and everything was so natural with him.

   You nodded back to him, pursing your lips against the cold. “Guess we should be going then, huh?”

   “Yeah,” he said, turning to you and smiling. “Tell your friend I said hello.”

   “And you tell yours I said hello, as well.”

   “I will.”

   “Good.”

  “Good.”

   ---

   “Oh, Y/N, it's like a damn romance novel!” Allura exclaimed, all-but throwing herself on top of you. “Was he good looking? I'm a sucker for black hair. And you said it was styled nicely? He cleans up well?”

   You winced, shoving Allura off of your legs. “I said he looked homeless when I first saw him.”

   “Did he have the bad boy look?”

   “He looked like he hadn't washed in a few days.”

  Allura gaped, shaking her head. “Truly incredible. I have to meet him.”

  You scoffed, laying back down on the sofa Allura had oh-so-kindly let you borrow for the night. “I don't think that's gonna happen. I don't think he had a phone, so I didn't get his number.”

   “What twenty year old doesn't have a phone?”

   “A twenty year old who doesn't want to be tracked down by police,” you replied.

   “Oh yeah.” Allura grinned, nudged you with her toe. “A bad boy.”

   You rolled your eyes. She had been talking to you non-stop about Keith from the moment you had brought up how you and him had shared a room the night before – she wanted to know everything about him. She wanted to know about his look, his life story, how the two of you had clicked so well and so quickly.

   It all sounded a big cringey to you, now that you retold the story; you tried your hardest not to make it all seem like some mushy, teenage love story, because that wasn't what it was. Keith had been attractive, of course – anybody who was attracted to males could easily see such a thing, but it didn't mean you wanted anything more than a friendship with him.

   “I only knew him for two days,” you said, noticing the amused smirk on Allura's face.

   “Time doesn't have anything to do with it – you two basically went through hell together. If that doesn't make two people love each other, then I most certainly don't know what does.”

   You groaned. “Enough, okay? Can we please just go to sleep?”

   Allura giggled, finding your frustration amusing. Nonetheless, she respected your exhaustion, turned off the big light, said her good nights before she was heading up to her own room, leaving you alone in her living room.

   You sighed into the darkness. Try as you might, you couldn't bring yourself to think about anything other than Keith – where was he right now? You hoped he had found his way to his friends house. He wasn't a local, meaning it would be very easy for him to get lost. You also hadn't been lying when you had warned him about how dangerous it was walking alone at night in this neighbourhood – if he was still out after the sun had set, it wouldn't be a huge surprise to imagine he had been jumped and was currently bleeding out in an alleyway somewhere.

   You pushed the horrific thought out of your mind, rolling over and hugging the quilt closer to your body. There was no use in worrying about it – he would be long gone by now. Judging by the backpack slung across his back whenever you had first met him, he didn't stay in one place too long. Chances are, he would be in a completely different neighbourhood by tomorrow morning, and you would never hear from Keith Kogane ever again.

    You weren't sure why the thought made you sad.

   That night, sleep refused to greet you, and you eventually decided to say fuck it. Allura's living room was becoming stuffy, and you had already risked your life on multiple occasions the past few days – what was one more risk going to do to you?

   So, with basically no hesitance, you slipped out of the covers, pulled on a coat and shoes, and headed out the door into the darkness.

     The moon was shining extremely bright tonight, and the street lamps were on. A boy on a BMX did a wheelie as he rode past you, gave you a wink before cycling off at full speed down the road.

   You tucked your hands into your pockets and continued to walk, thinking about the teenage boys who had been gesturing at you in the cafe that day – you still had no idea what gestures they had been giving to you, but judging by Keith's disgusted reaction, they had been nothing short of disrespectful. Keith had been so bothered by them – you wondered why, before quickly reminding yourself that Keith wasn't an absolute douchebag, and he probably didn't like it whenever women were disrespected purely for being attractive.

   This thought made you smile.

    You felt like you had walked for hours, but it couldn't have been too long.

   Keith clearly hadn't gone far.

    You were shocked whenever you rounded the corner and saw him sitting there; he didn't look up, too busy shuffling through his backpack to even notice you were standing over him. Your jaw fell open, eyes widening – what was he doing out in the dark? He had told you he had found himself a place to stay!

   “You promised!” you exclaimed.

   Keith screamed.

    He jolted upright, the zip of his bag getting caught on his sleeve and tearing off completely, but he didn't seem to care as he looked up at you with those wide, violet eyes etched in shock. As soon as he saw you standing there, his features hardened into a look of panic.

   “What are you doing out so late?” he hissed, scrambling up so he was towering over you. “It's dangerous out at night, and it's cold!” He tugged on the collar of your thin coat, shook his head. “You expect this to keep you warm?”

   “Keith,” you groaned, slamming your hands into his shoulders. He frowned, rubbing the place you had just smacked with furrowed brows. “What are you doing? You're gonna get hypothermia staying out here all night.”

   “I'm fine,” he insisted, but even as he said it, you could see the purple tips of his fingers. He noticed your gaze slide down to them and quickly hid them behind his back. “I'm fine,” he repeated. “Just you get yourself back to whoevers house you were staying at and don't worry about me.”

   “You're coming with me,” you said before you could think through the consequences. Allura wouldn't mind – she lived with her best friend, Coran, and the two of them were never dismissive of having their house packed with guests.

   Keith raised a brow. “I don't think so.”

   “Well then I'm not leaving,” you insisted. “You're not staying out here all night on your own, Keith. You told me you had a place to stay!”

   “Because I knew you'd react like this,” he grunted.

   “Of course I'm gonna react like this!” You groaned, frustrated that he didn't understand, that he was really ready to throw away his own health just because he was too afraid to tell you he had no place to stay.

   Without asking permission, you bent down and snatched his bag up from the ground. The zip was completely snapped off, so you held the top of it closed, turned on your heel and started walking away.

   You heard Keith scrambling after you. “Hey! Hey! Give me that back! Where are you going?”

  “We're going back to my friends house, and you're getting a cup of tea in you,” you replied. “And then I'm setting you up a camp bed and you're going to have a good nights sleep for as long as you need it.”

   “Your friend won't mind?”

   “Oh, trust me.” You looked at him over your shoulder. “She's very excited to meet you.”

   ---

   Allura was, indeed, very excited to meet the infamous Keith Kogane.

   As soon as you walked into her and Coran's shared flat, she was launching herself towards you and engulfing you in a desperate hug. “Where have you been? I walked downstairs to warm up some milk and you were just gone! I thought I'd been robbed!”

  You hugged her back, subtly tossing Keith's bag onto the sofa at the same time. Coran was standing in the corner, looking at Keith with a raised brow, yet an amused smirk was evident on his face.

    Keith stood awkwardly in the doorway, his hands tucked into his pockets. He clearly didn't know what to do with them now that he didn't have the strap of his backpack to fiddle with.

   Allura pulled away, opened her mouth to make more of a big deal over your disappearance, but her words died in her throat whenever she caught a glimpse of Keith standing behind you.

   You took this as your cue to start explaining.

   “Allura, Coran – this is Keith. He's a – uh – a friend of mine. I was wondering if he could stay here for a few days whilst he gets back on his feet?”

   Allura and Coran shot each other shocked glances. For a moment, you truly thought they were going to send Keith packing, despite it going against their normal character incredibly. But at the end of the day, you would be a fool to say that Keith didn't look a little rough around the edges – he hardly looked like a very respectful house guest with his ruffled hair and disgruntled fashion sense. That, plus the constant glare he seemed to keep on his face at all times.

   But then Allura burst.

   “Of course he can stay!” she exclaimed – she may as well have full on screamed. “Oh, Keith, Y/N was telling me all about you only a few hours ago! This is crazy! Come in! Come in! Make yourself at home.”

  Her and Coran had already started busying themselves with the pillows on the sofa, propping them up and fluffing the quilt. You frowned – you were fairly certain the sofa was your bed, but you decided not to bring such a thing up just yet.

   You grabbed Keith's arm and tugged him fully into the room. He stumbled, shoulder clashing with yours. He sent you a panicked glare that you replied with by smiling sarcastically at him, standing on your tippy toes and whispering, “Make yourself at home,” into his ear.

   You could barely hold back the laugh that was making it's way to the forefront at Keith's horrified expression. He bent down and whispered back, “You should have let me get hypothermia,” which only made you laugh to yourself that little bit harder.

   ---

   You weren't entirely sure how a month and a half had passed.

   No, it didn't make sense. At least, not to you, because it definitely didn't feel like an entire month and a half. It felt like a matter of days – but perhaps that was because you were having too much fun.

   You hated to admit it; you hated to be one of those teenage runaways who loved sitting around some persons house, chatting all the shit about their parents and pretending their life was perfectly intact when it very clearly wasn't – your parents had started ringing you only a few days after you had moved in with Allura. With Keith nervously watching, you had picked up the phone and told them you didn't plan on coming back – instead of being kind and soft about it, they had screamed at you down the phone until Keith had pulled the thing from your ear and hung up on them.

   That was the first night Keith had hugged you.

   Since then, a month and a half had passed, and you were fine. Your parents still texted you from time to time, and you always replied – told them you were okay, made sure to give them updates on the shifts you were getting at work, just so they were made aware that you weren't surviving purely off of the twenty pounds you had swiped off the table after you had left that day. They had even been kind enough to send you some money and some of your clothes, giving you the illusion that they had finally come to terms with the fact that their 'little girl' was gone.

    Keith, on the other hand, wasn't as lucky.

   He was still hiding and ducking away from every single police car that made itself known in the area. He was still hiding behind you, keeping his head low whenever he walked along the street. Every now and then he would see a car that he thought looked slightly like one of his old commanders cars, and that was when he would turn around and head back to Allura's, insisting on seeing you after you had finished your shopping.

    You never looked too much into it; him feeling safe was the most important thing, and now that you were certain he wasn't sleeping on the streets, you found little room to complain.

    It was a cold morning whenever the knock sounded on the front door of Allura's house.

   Your eyes popped open at the sound of it – nobody else was awake. A group of teenagers living in a house together meant it was very rare there was any movement before eleven o' clock, unless one of you had work. For a moment, you thought that was what was going on – you had slept in whenever you were due in for work.

   Panic rose in your throat, and you were soon slipping off the edge of the sofa and scrambling for the door handle. Keith groaned, looking up from the camp bed he had been sleeping on for the past month and a half, his hair a mess and his eyes narrowed.

   “Could you be any louder?” he groaned.

   You paid him no attention as you pulled open the door, smoothing a hand through your hair at the same time. An apology for tardiness was dancing on the tip of your tongue, but it died soon enough at the sight of the man in black standing in front of you; a man you had never seen before.

   He was tall, definitely well built. Despite no skin showing through his black and white jacket, it was obvious in the broadness of his shoulders, the sharpness of his jaw that he was very much a man who took great pride in his fitness regime.

   You swallowed the lump in your throat, forcing yourself to look up into his slanted eyes.

   “Can I help you?” you squeaked out.

   “Hi.” His voice was deep. Very, very deep. “Sorry for showing up when you're clearly not – uh – ready to talk to anyone.”

  You flushed, glancing down at your pyjamas which consisted of a pair of shorts and a tank top. “That's fine.”

   “I was just looking for my friend Keith. I heard he's been staying here recently and I'd-”

   “Shiro?”

   You jumped at the sound of Keith's groggy morning voice. Instinctively, you stepped out of the way of the door, allowing Keith and Shiro to finally catch glimpses of one another. Keith's jaw fell open, one hand zooming to his bedhead which he rubbed in slight disbelief.

   You raised a brow, having never seen him look so . . . full of emotion before.

   Shiro grinned and stepped inside. “Keith. You're alright.”

  “Of course I am,” Keith said. “What are you doing here? The school year isn't over for another-”

   “You didn't really think I was just going to let you leave the Garrison without asking you why, did you?” Shiro chuckled, a laugh that reminded you weirdly of a father laughing at one of his kids crazy antics. “We have a lot to talk about, Keith.”

   You let Shiro inside and headed into the kitchen to make him and Keith a cup of coffee, giving them a bit of privacy; the privacy wasn't all that private, due to the kitchen and the living room being split only by the counter, meaning you could see and hear everything they were saying to one another.

   Keith was still sat on his camp bed, his legs folded so they were all tangled in his bed sheets. He wore only a black shirt and a pair of Coran's basketball shorts. Shiro didn't seem too bothered by the fact that it was currently half past ten in the morning and you and Keith were still struggling to form words with the exhaustion running through you.

   “You should have told me you were feeling bad about everything, Keith,” you heard Shiro say as you gently stirred their coffees, leaning against the counter. “I could have helped you through it. You could have stayed and become a pilot – just like you always wanted to.”

   Keith shook hair out of his eye, though you could see it was just an excuse for him to look away from the prying eyes of his friend. “It wouldn't have helped anything.”

   “It would have. The commanders – they listen to me. I could have said something to them, made changes to make things better for you-”

   “I didn't want special treatment, Shiro,” Keith bit. “I just wanted to leave. There was no issue with the school, no issue with the commanders – it just wasn't my place to be. I'm much happier now that I've left. Happier than I was.”

   Shiro raised a brow, glancing around the room. “You prefer sleeping on a camp bed in a persons living room? Really?”

   You fought off the urge to tell Shiro to mind his own business – he seemed like a nice bloke, and you couldn't exactly blame his scepticism, though you still found yourself getting a little bit protective over the place you had been calling home for a month and a half now.

   “It's better than it looks,” Keith grumbled. “And I've been looking into other pilot jobs over the past month. I'm not just rotting away like you seem to think I am.”

   “I don't think you're rotting away,” Shiro assured. “I just think you're throwing away the potential you have because you're scared of failure. You know you're scared of failure – I've seen you back out of a lot of things because of it.”

   “Well I can't help that, can I?” said Keith, voice rising ever so slightly. “Nobody likes failing.”

   “That's true.” Shiro nodded, keeping his eyes firm on Keith. You grew protective again, suddenly wanting to stand in front of your friend to keep Shiro's judgemental eyes off of him. “But it's one thing being afraid of it and another thing letting it control your life. Why don't you come back with me? Commander Iverson will be more happy to see you safe than he will be angry-”

  “I'm not going back.”

  “Keith-”

  “Shiro.” Keith closed his eyes tightly, raised a hand as if debating whether or not to start yelling. You slowly stood up straight, still stirring the coffee in front of you, but much slower this time.

   Keith was going to burst.

   “You know I respect you,” he continued through clenched teeth, eyes still closed and hand still raised in a fist. “But this is something you'll have to respect me on, okay? I'm not going back there, and that's all there is to it.”

   Shiro paused. “I really didn't take you as a quitter.”

   That was it. Both for you and for Keith.

  Keith's violet eyes snapped open and he was suddenly scrambling off of the camp bed. The blankets fell away from his lower half, landing in a heap on the floor. He glared down at Shiro one last time, opened his mouth to say anything but the room was still engulfed in silence by the time he finally decided to storm past Shiro and rush up the stairs.

   You were bustling out of the kitchen before you could stop yourself, leaving the coffees behind.

   Shiro didn't look at you when you appeared in the doorway. You shot one glance over at the crumpled bed sheets, one look at Shiro before you were running up the stairs after Keith, not bothering to waste your time giving Shiro a lecture on how nobody hurts my friend.

   You just needed to make sure Keith was okay. You needed to make sure he wasn't doing anything stupid.

   “Keith!” you called, no longer caring about the sleeping Coran and Allura who were only a few doors down.

   You slid to a halt outside of the bathroom and slammed your hand against the door – it was locked.

   “Keith!” you yelled, a little louder this time. “Please, Keith, come on. It's me. It's Y/N. Let me in!”

    You continued to slap your hand against the wooden door until Keith unlocked it and dragged you inside. You stumbled with the speed with which he did so, stabilizing yourself against the sink.

   Keith slammed the door shut behind you and locked it again, before collapsing onto the edge of the bath and ducking his head into his hands.

   You were fairly certain that this was the saddest sight you had ever seen in your life.

   He looked broken, as if the world had come pouring down on top of him in a matter of seconds. You remembered those late night chats you would have with him where he would gush over Shiro, telling you about how much he looked up to the man, how much he had learned from him in the short amount of time he had been in his presence. Keith truly thought the world of him, and Shiro had walked in here and called him a quitter.

   “Keith,” you croaked out. “It's okay.”

   “Is he still downstairs?” he asked you, not looking up from his hands. There was a waver in his voice, making it clear to you that he was trying to stop the flow of tears.

   “I didn't tell him to leave,” you replied.

   “Why not?” Keith looked up then, his eyes bloodshot. “He's gonna come looking for me now. He's gonna come and call me a failure.”

    You lowered yourself onto the edge of the bath beside him. “You shouldn't listen to him. It might be hard to believe, but sometimes our idols can be wrong, okay? And he was definitely wrong for calling you a quitter out there. You're the bravest man I know-”

   “Oh, don't flatter me,” he grunted. “He was telling the truth. I know it. He knows it. You know it, you're just too nice to agree.”

   “Hey,” you hissed, grabbing his arm. “Don't tell me what I do and don't believe. You may think you're a failure, but I know for a fact you're not. Sure, life isn't exactly turning out how we were planning it to work out, but that's just how it is. You're gonna pull through – you have been pulling through. A few months ago you were at risk of sleeping on the streets, and now you've got a bed to sleep in and you're looking into jobs. It's not much, but it's something. It's a step in the right direction, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you sit here and overlook the successes you've had just because some guy came in here and reminded you of your failures.”

   You inhaled deeply as the words stopped flowing. Keith was staring at you with wide, bloodshot eyes, and you were fairly certain your cheeks had sparked bright red in your moment of passion.

   You turned away, letting your hair cover your cheeks as you did so. Never before had you said words that held so much weight to them, but they were the truth. They had poured out of you because that was what you felt – that was what you truly believed. Keith had had a tough time of it, and during the months you had known him, that hadn't been kept a secret. But he still smiled, and he still loved people, and he still did everything in his power to make sure his family and friends were okay, and if that didn't scream strength then you didn't know what did.

   And perhaps that was why you had leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

   Just his cheek, even though his lips were a breath away from your own. The kiss was only small, barely grazing the skin before you were flushing even brighter and pulling away from him, tangling your hands in your lap.

   “So yeah,” you said, ignoring his burning gaze which was now peppered with shock. “I guess I just wanna say that you're kind of – um – an inspiration to me, and that you shouldn't listen to a word he said about you. Okay. That's all.” You stood up then, suddenly in a rush to get out of the small bathroom and into the fresh air. “I'm gonna go tell Shiro to leave now. Your coffee's still on the counter if you decide to-”

   But Keith didn't let you finish. He was standing up, taking that single step he needed to take for his chest to be hitting against yours. You grunted in shock, hands instinctively snapping out and winding around his middle to keep yourself from falling-

   His hands wrapped around your waist, tugged you into him, and his lips were on yours before you could process what was happening.

    The bathroom was so small, but as Keith held you, it suddenly felt too big. You wanted it to be smaller, purely just to give you an excuse to be closer to him. Even though your chests were pressed together, and your lips were pressed together, and everything was touching, you needed more.

   You reached up and tangled your hands in his onyx hair, pulling his head tighter to your own. The movement made Keith chuckle, the first sound of happiness he had made since Shiro had stormed in causing havoc. It was such a pleasant sound to hear after baring witness to the heartbreak that had sounded in his voice after his idol had walked in and crushed him.

    Keith pulled away all too soon. Your lips chased his own before you pulled away yourself, flushing as red as Keith's jacket.

    He was panting, but he still managed to speak, despite sounding breathless. “I – I really needed to – uh – do that. Feel free to – um – you know – tell me not to do it again if it wasn't – if it wasn't good.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “It's been a long time since I – since I actually-”

   “Keith,” you said. His violet eyes flicked to yours, panic flashing through them – that was until he saw the smile forming on your face, and he let his hand drop back to his side.

   “Sorry,” he grumbled. “I've just really liked you for a long time, and you've just said the things I needed to hear so badly – I got carried away.”

   “Thank god you did,” you said, reaching up and winding your arms over his shoulders. “Do you know how difficult it was restraining myself to just kissing your cheek?”

  Keith's eyes flashed. “You mean that?”

   You giggled. “I thought we learned that I don't just say things I don't mean.”

   “Right.” And then he kissed you again, and for a moment, you forgot that your and Keith's love story all started because the two of you were runaways.

[ahumanintraining]

houston, we have a problem At this latest Halloween-themed frat party, Shiro lets his nerd side come out as he dresses up as an astronaut. After encountering some pointy-eared, pink-marked person (presumably costumed as an alien), he strikes his lamest punny pick-up line out there: "guess there's life outside of Earth after all" — but finds that by the end of the night, perhaps proof of extraterrestrial life is staring right back at him. — shallura. college AU.

written for the @voltronhalloweenbigbang and paired with @pineappleyuki‘s gorgeous art to accompany. their art was finished before the writing was even done. isn't that incredible? go give them some love.

i mean, clearly this was started a while back and only just finished now lol. i suppose i could have been more timely but what the hell it’s halloween everyday when you’re dressing up like adults who actually know what they’re doing. regardless, happy holidays everyone.

(ao3 link)

Shiro knows his costume looks terrible the moment he steps out of his dorm room — more specifically the moment he sees tight-pressed lip and disapproving gaze on Lance’s face and the wide-eyed and eyebrow-raised expression on Hunk’s face.

“You don’t like it,” Shiro concludes.

Hunk, dressed in what seemed to be a pumpkin — all orange with what looked like a green hat with a stem and small vines on top — waves his hands in front of him sheepishly. “No, no,” Hunk says. “It’s great! I just didn’t expect it.”

Lance is a little more to the point. “I mean if you’re going for dusty marshmallow, then you’ve definitely got it on the mark,” he says.

Shiro looks down at the silver cloud jacket and gray tight jeans he’s wearing — all articles of clothing he had found at the nearby secondhand shop while in a crunch for costumes and strapped for cash. The jacket has three punctures in it, the white stuffing popping out. “I’m not really looking for society’s approval,” he replies indifferently, turning his hands to inspect the black polyester gloves over them. He mindlessly picks off a hanging thread from his left glove forefinger, holding a makeshift bucket helmet under his arm.

“Well, we need to get you out regardless,” Lance sighs, shrugging and folding his arms. “How else are we going to get you out of this funk?”

Shiro can’t help the grimace that straightens over his lips. Adam had left him two months ago, and Shiro wasn’t seeking replacements any time soon. He had only agreed to come to the Phi Lambda Delta Halloween social to get his friends off his case — yet ironically here he is, and they’re still on his damn case for a costume that apparently isn’t executing right.

“I’m already over him,” Shiro reminds them. “I don’t need to be ‘doing something’ just for the sake of getting over him or just because he broke up with me. I don’t want be doing things because of him.”

Lance rolls his eyes. “I didn’t even mention Adam,” he chides. “We’re just taking you out because you’ve been cooped up inside your room since the beginning of September.”

Shiro purses his lips. Yeah, okay, maybe he’s not completely there yet. Two months by himself isn’t going to undo the memories of four years together.

“Whatever,” he says. “You already got me halfway out my door. Let’s just go.”

“Exactly,” Hunk affirms, patting Shiro on the back.

“Won’t let you regret it,” Lance promises him.

“I already am."

“Okay, well then, how about we make sure you don’t even remember it?”

And to this, Shiro can only respond with a reluctant sigh.

Lance is not kidding about making sure Shiro doesn’t remember a thing, passing Shiro every other shot he finds, which Shiro obligingly downs. The alcohol isn’t hitting him yet, but he can feel the fresh warm burn deep in his throat and the start of the creeping flush over his cheeks, and he knows he’ll feel every sip of those drinks within the hour.

Lance comes back to their friend circle with two red cups in his hand. “Here,” he says, immediately passing Shiro the more full one.

“Already got one,” he refuses, lifting the cup in his hand.

“That’s empty,” Pidge points out.

Shiro shoots a threatening stare at Pidge, as Lance promptly stacks his cup into Shiro’s empty one. “I’m going to keep making you drink until you actually get yourself out there and start talking to people.” Lance waves off to the other side of the room. “Look at Keith. He’s making a good example of how to socialize. Be like him.”

Shiro turns to identify Keith’s mullet in the direction Lance is pointing, and then laughs when he sees Keith leaning against a wall in the corner by the beer pong table, clear disdain written over his face. Keith isn’t even dressed up in any form of costume, truly embracing the Halloween spirit of the party.

“Alright, I get your point,” he says, and suddenly very sick of listening to Pidge, Hunk, and Lance urging him to go have fun, he makes a determined step out from their circle. His foot lands a little heavy, a sure sign that he doesn’t need the extra drink in his hand.

Behind him, his friends give him an encouraging cheer, but he doesn’t really hear, already swallowed up in the next crowd of people and the beat of the music.

What to do, what to do… As appealing as the thought of just sitting back and letting the music thrum through him is, Shiro decides that he should at least try and dance through three songs, maybe even meet one stranger. At least for the sake of his friends that have been so supportive and helpful since the break up.

He wades through the room, careful not to bump into grinding couples or sticky tables. He passes a row of plastic pumpkins filled with chocolates, taking some and immediately ripping off the wrapper to eat the candies, thinking that maybe the sugar and nuts will help the alcohol not rush through his system.

But now he has another problem: four candy wrappers and no trash in sight. There’s trash all over the table and floors nearby, but Shiro’s conscious would never let him just drop the wrappers. And the wrappers have smudges of melted chocolate so he can’t put them in his pocket either.

Presuming the large black bag taped over the other side of the table is the trash, he slowly moves toward it, tossing the wrappers once he’s confident his arm length could make up for the distance.

Unfortunately, one of them doesn’t make it into the trash, and he sighs as he watches the wrapper pitifully fall to the ground. He stoops down to pick it up, only for someone to knock into his shoulder as he’s reaching for the floor.

“Oh, sorry!”

“It’s fine,” he murmurs, although he’s pretty sure that whoever it was that bumped into him can’t hear. He picks himself back up and turns around, finding someone directly behind him.

“S-sorry,” he stammers, surprised.

She nervously smiles. “Oh, no, no, I’m sorry,” she replies apologetically. “I practically knocked you over.”

Whoever she is, she’s pretty — he’ll give her that. Well, okay, maybe she’s a little more than just pretty. She’s more like strikingly beautiful, like she just popped straight off a fashion magazine cover — dramatic lighting and fake wind included.

“It’s fine,” he assures her. “Lots of people here.”

“Yes,” she agrees. “Lots of people.”

He takes the pause in their conversation to properly look at her. She has long wavy white hair on, with what looks like elf ears — narrow and pointed at the tip.

Her eyes are blue, a deep vibrant blue that reminds him of the ocean at sunset. So blue, they had to have been contact lenses. Just under her eyes, two bright pink marks painted over her cheekbones. They shine radiantly over her brown skin, which itself glows with a healthy flush.

Why does she look so familiar? He is one hundred percent certain he’s never met her even though it feels like he’s known her his whole life.

She gives him a quick once-over, her eyes flicking down to his shoes and back up to his face. “Astronaut?” she asks him.

“Wow, yeah, you got it,” he affirms, blinking with surprise. His cheeks feel extra hot, and he’s not sure if it’s entirely the alcohol. “And I thought my costume was pretty bad.”

She laughs into the palm of her hand, with a light chuckle that he somehow can hear over the stereo music. “It is,” she teases. “I was just guessing that was what you were going for.”

He snorts, embarrassed but trying to play it off. He still can’t figure out why she looks so familiar.

“I mean, I didn’t have that much time to prepare for this party. Honestly, I didn’t even really want to come in the first place.” Shiro stops mid-explanation, realizing that he was beginning to ramble under the influence and that despite her very attentive stare back at him, he knew she probably didn’t care at all about any of that. “I — um, I’m guessing you’re dressed up as an elf?” he asks her.

She flashes him another one of those dazzling smiles. She suddenly leans in close to his ear, and Shiro feels his heart skip a beat. He swallows.

“I was going more for alien,” she admits, then stands back up straight, shrugging. “But I suppose my disguise just isn’t as good as yours.”

She looks beautiful, regardless, he thinks.

“Well then, I guess I have to report to Houston that there’s life outside of Earth after all.”

He coughs despite himself. God. What a terrible line.

She laughs. Her laugh is gentle and plays in his memories like a melody he once knew.

“And how do you feel about being the first man to meet an alien?” she asks him.

He bites his lip. “Honestly?” And maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s her beauty, or maybe it’s her entertaining sense of humor, but he suddenly gathers the courage to flirt a little more aggressively. “Honestly I wish I had spent more time making sure I looked better before I left the apartment.”

She smiles wide, her teeth flashing. “Well, I personally think you look just fine,” she says with a wink. Or at least what he thinks is a wink. She saunters up close to him, her eyes on his until her nose is just an inch from his helmet, acting as though there actually is a glass barrier and not just open air between them. Her lips purse thoughtfully and he watches her eyes look up and down his helmet.

He is suddenly very aware of a drop of sweat along his hairline and the light itchy spot at the back of his scalp. He really wants to take this helmet off — honestly, fuck this headpiece.

“How’s your oxygen level in there?” she asks him in a soft breath, tapping the helmet. “You look a touch hypoxic.”

“I’m good,” he sputters, the warmth of his breath feeling trapped under the plastic... and where is she going with this question? Does she want the helmet off? And if she does, does she want him to...

His chest flutters.

“I was thinking of going outside and getting some air,” she tells him with a slow smile. “Would you like to join me?”

Yes. Yes. Yes. His heart thumps in immediate reply.

He swallows and nods his head vigorously.

She gives him another smile and before he knows it, she takes his hand in hers and pulls him across the room, through the friend circles and dancing drunks, around the pool table turned into an empty cup rest, over the sticky fake wood floor of the frat common room, out the backdoor where the cool California night air teases the hot skin just under his collar.

He takes a breath — hot and humid under his helmet — and his eyes automatically look up to the black sky. It’s no surprise that he's studying aerospace engineering. He can’t help his eyes from lifting up beyond the rooftops and the tree lines.

Suddenly, she spins around, placing her hands at the base of his helmet and lifting it off his shoulders, dropping her forearms around his neck in one swift motion.

His breath catches as he feels the helmet drop behind his feet, as the sharp crisp air runs through his hair, as the thrum of subdued house music from inside echoes in his chest, as her fingers lace together at the back of his head.

“Better?” She asks, her voice tickling his ear — now no barrier between them.

“Yes,” he says, unable to figure out what else to say. He’s mesmerized by the shimmering pink glow under her eyes and the curve of her lower lip.

Her eyes follow his lead and look up to the sky as well. His hands, frozen at his side, slowly lift up to settle on her waist. He looks back at her to check her reaction. If she notices, she doesn’t do anything in response. She keeps her eyes up at the stars, and he more confidently smooths his palms over her. She’s swaying from side to side ever so slightly, and he follows her lead, stepping his body closer to her until his body is right against hers.

“You like watching the stars?” she asks him, turning her eyes back to him. Her eyes sparkle as if they were the stars themselves.

“When I was a kid, I was obsessed. I used to know all the constellations,” he admits. "Not so much anymore. Well. No, that would be lying. They're very familiar to me."

“Nerd,” she teases, softly laughing.  

He shrugs. “I can’t help but wonder how vast the universe is beyond our atmosphere.”

She hums in agreement. She’s pressed herself closer to him and he can feel the warmth trapped between them, the vibration of her approval.

God, what is this irresistible sense of connection he has to her? He just can't explain it.

Her hand suddenly lifts from the back of his head and she pushes his bangs back over his forehead.

“A philosophical nerd,” she then replies.

Before he can refute her insult, she comes forward, cupping his jawline under her hands and pressing her mouth over his. He accepts it readily, closing his eyes, tilting his head to the left, and settling his lips over hers. His hands travel up her back to support her as he leans in, deepening their kiss.

He feels her smile against his lips. Her mouth opens to take a breath, and he takes the opportunity to catch her bottom lip between his teeth. She giggles, pulling away before resettling over his lips again, gently retaking control. The tip of her tongue flicks between his partly lips and he allows her entrance. She tastes like sweet alcohol and bitter chocolate.

He’s not sure how much time passes between their lips, but he knows the next time he opens his eyes, the moon seems much brighter, the night more illuminated, her blue eyes practically electric.

She smiles, and for an instant, he thinks to kiss her again, but he more wants to savor this moment — the peace in his heart, the quiet of her breath, and the slow rhythm of their hips.

“So,” he muses. “I know we made out but I just realized I don’t know a thing about you. I apologize. How rude of me.”

She presses a finger over his lips. “Shhh...” she shushes him, with a smile. “What do you need to know about anyone to kiss them?”

“Hm,” he considers. He knows she’s right, but he moves forward with a question nevertheless. “A name would be nice.”

She bites her bottom lip, as if trying to keep it a secret and licking her lips guiltily before revealing. “Allura,” she tells him in a hush.

“Allura,” he repeats, testing her vowels and consonants over his tongue.

She giggles, tapping the tip of his nose. “You won’t remember anyway,” she declares.

Does he really seem that drunk? He shakes his head. “I’ll make sure to remember,” he insists, his hand fumbling into his pocket for his phone.

Her hand catches his hand over his pocket. He gasps silently, feeling her hand pressing down over his hip — a place almost indecent.

She doesn’t seem to notice her effect on him. Her fingers slip around his wrist and lifts his hand to replace it over her waist. “Even if you do remember, it wouldn’t matter,” she replies. “I’m not planning to stay for long.”

He doesn’t understand what that has to do with anything. Even if she had dropped in from the next city over, he would be more than willing to drive down a few additional hours for her kisses. “You’re coming in from off campus?” he asks.

She nods. “From far, far away,” she assures him.

“Hm,” he replies, albeit disappointed. Maybe she didn’t want to manage distance, or maybe she wasn’t looking for a replacement — just a stranger to kiss and touch for the night.

“Well now you must tell me your name,” she tells him, and for a second, he thinks that maybe she’s reconsidered him, but he tampers down his excitement with a hard swallow.

“Takashi,” he then blurts.

“Takashi,” she repeats without missing a beat, and the sound of his name in her voice is so comforting he decides to not mention she can call him anything else. His nickname suddenly feels too distant for how intimate he feels with her. “Takashi,” she says again, this time with purpose, and he feels his heart stir. “I’ll remember you.”

“Yeah?”

She grants him a smile. “Yes,” she assures him. “Thank you for sharing such a lovely time here with me, Takashi. I’ll remember you in my travels.”

“Your travels?” he asks, but the words don’t leave his mouth before she catches them against her lips.

She kisses him for what feels like forever, but when he feels a cool night breeze swirl over his cheeks, he opens his eyes and realizes that she’s all but disappeared.

He blinks, confused, looking around to see where she might have gone.

And for some odd reason, the first place he looks is up. He can’t explain why he can't take his eyes off the night sky, but suddenly the stars seem much more familiar.

[putabourqueinit]

Accidentally Brave

I wish I were the one to have coined this title.  What does it mean to be “accidentally brave?”  Most of us have been through things in our life where we were blindsided.  What you thought was A,B,C was not any longer it was F.U.C.K.E.D.  If you have never experienced this in your life, we need to have a little chat. 

LIFE

Life is tricky and it doesn’t always play fair. Just when you think you have it all figured out, “Life” lets you know you were deeply naive and slightly foolish.  Why should we all have it so easy?  Some of us are born in shitty situations--there are too many scenarios for me to list, but the amount of obstacles to climb out of said situations is often impossible.  

I had my fair share of challenging times in my life.  I think the #1 in my early years to young adult, was my father who adored me, but due to his demons couldn’t find me.  The roller coaster ride I went on for so many years trying to understand it all was exhausting.  Ultimately, I have come to terms with my relationship with him.  Unfortunately, just when I am ready to be there for him, he is gone.  

For Better or For Worse   

Dylan and I are not married so we did not ever make the vow to love for better or worse.  We have been together 9 yrs and have 2 kids.  We have been through some treacherous times- ones to possibly throw in the towel, but we are still together.  I don’t necessarily think we needed a vow to commit for better or worse, but damn it isn’t easy when the rough gets rough.  We continually struggle with our own issues- personally and as a couple.  We sometimes hold each other and hope that love will pull us through.  For us it always does, but there are times we have been tested.  

Serendipity

My favorite word.  It means good fortune by happenstance.  I like this word because often times people have good fortune by preparation, skills, education or good ole luck.  To have good fortune by happenstance to me means the “Universe” was in play and said I know more than you do so sit back and go along for the ride.  I read this recently and it made so much sense to me:

“Universe be like....

Yo, I heard you like growth.  So I put some challenges on top of your challenges so you can grow from your challenges while you grow from your growth.”

Maddie and Me

Once upon a time “Life” was beating me up and the “Universe” was challenging the shit out of me.  I was lost.  I was confused.  I literally didn’t know what was up or what was down and inside was definitely somewhere on the outside.  I was struggling.  I reached inside my deepest inner being and couldn’t find answers and I looked to everyone close to me to carry me through this hard time.  They all tried and I appreciate them for their efforts but it wasn’t them or me who held the magic words I needed to hear. 

Serendipitously I heard of a woman who was going through stuff worse than me—so I thought.  I reached out to her randomly via email never ever speaking to her or meeting her before.  I don’t even know what I said, but it was something like “I get it.  I am suffering too.  I am fractured.  I am vulnerable.  I don’t know what to do.”

She answered immediately. She shared more with me than I thought a stranger could ever share.  I leaned on her and she comforted me (even though she was falling apart.)  She sent me daily words of encouragement and I sent her daily updates, thoughts, feelings, tears, triumphs.  She would counter me with hers.  We formed this bond of friendship through hardship and I just cannot put into words how unbelievable it was- I mean truly not believable to have connected with someone so quickly. She lived north of Manhattan and was moving closer to the city just as we were heading out of NY.  There was one day we could have possibly met and we couldn’t make it happen.  I moved so far away.  Another lifetime away.  We didn’t keep in touch via daily messages or every once in a while updates anymore.  Both of our lives shifted on a dime.  We have been there for each other via  ❤️’s on social media.  I have often wanted to reach out and to this day I am not sure why I haven’t.  Maybe it would bring up those memories?  Maybe I would just be so sad to still have never met this soul who has played such a pivotal role in my life?

I am not sure what the opposite of serendipity is--maybe shit luck?  There was one time she was in New Orleans (an easy 2 hours from my house) and I was literally on a plane with my kids to NY to visit D while he was working.  I had to just laugh at life and the universe wondering if they were somewhere sitting around having a beer and laughing at this cruel joke.  

She recently messaged me via Instagram “It’s crazy that we haven’t met.  You were there for me and my family at my lowest, scariest moment and so was Dylan.”  

My sweet Maddie- I am not sure I have ever read words that have precisely matched what I was feeling inside. 

ACCIDENTLY BRAVE  

What does it mean to be accidentally brave?  I am still not sure, but I think mostly to me it means facing the darkest part of your soul and confronting it.  Then celebrating that you survived and more importantly it made you stronger and a better person.  It means inviting “Life” and the “Universe” for a date night and saying “I got this.”

My friend Maddie has gone above and beyond the call of healing.  She has written and is performing in a play called “Accidentally Brave”  which performances begin March 11th.  ‘Accidentally Brave’ an inspiring true story by my fierce friend Maddie.  I am just over the moon for her courage and awesomeness.  

Unfortunately I may not get to see the first go round as I don’t plan on being in NY any time soon (boo hoo,) but I know it will continue on.  

I have a strong feeling the first time I meet Maddie will be to give her a big hug back stage and congratulate her on the woman she was, the woman she is now and the woman she is about to step into.  I love them all dearly.  

Thank you Maddie for being a true friend for all of these years.  

#accidentlybrave.com