#i mean not that i want my future s/o to be a dick to children but it always makes me sad

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Apr 4th

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1. Hello! ITMF multiple WWX's? Like he clones himself or if maybe time travel causes there to be multiple WWX's running around. Can be chaste or naughty, but bonus points for LWJ getting flustered having some many WWX's around! Thank you!

Wei Wuxian’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good First Meeting With His Future by Enigmatree (T, 3k, wangxian, Time Travel, Cloud Recesses, YLLZ WWX, POV Outsider)

How to Deal with the Conundrum of Your Past Self: A Case Study by anatheme (E, 16k, wangxian, A/B/O, YLLZ WWX, Established Relationship, Pining, Sexual Tension, alpha YLLZ WWX/alpha LWJ/omega MXY!WWX: the fic, ft. soft married wangxian, Threesome - M/M/M, yes LWJ gets the knot after xx years, Bottom LWJ, Switch WangXian, Knotting, time travel of sorts, a thesis on making peace with and loving yourself, Happy Ending, welcome to my LWJ has 2 hands for 2 WWX agenda)

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2. itmf fics where ljy is lxc's son! whether bio or not is fine, just looking for some scenes where lxc is like a father to ljy. tyvm!

🔒how to make your dad fall in love with your high school teacher in five steps; the complete and bulletproof guide by ravenditefairylights (T, 90k, WangXian, Modern AU, Coffee shop AU, NB LSZ, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Genderfluid WWX, Nonbinary LSZ, Trauma, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Healing, Hurt WWX, Found Family, Hospitalization, Therapy, Single Parent WWX, Mutual Pining, Teacher LWJ, Unreliable Narrator, Teenager LSZ, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Chronic Pain, Autistic LWJ) although their relationship is not the focus of the story

3zun Raise Jingyi AU series by Deriliarch (T, 94k, 3Zun, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Established Relationship, Fluff, Angst, Happy Ending, Kid fic, Hurt/Comfort)

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3. Do you have idol aus? I want idol Wei Ying. A) Specifically, the idol life, can be before/during/after debut. B) Idol survival show participant wwx

3A)

Bodyguard king by 74243 (E, 8k, wangxian, F/F WangXian, Modern, Idol WWX, Bodyguard LWJ, Female NHS, Platonic D/s, Loss of Virginity, Not NOT inspired by KUWTK s05e04, When u do what u love u never work a day in ur life)

shooting straight into your heart by tangerinechar (T, 13k, wangxian, JC & WWX, Modern, Multimedia, Humor, idol WWX, cameraman LWJ, and a very Done(tm) manager JC)

Amidst the Crowd by GusuBunnie (G, 5k, wangxian, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Idol WWX, Supportive LXC, JC Needs a Hug, Background Xicheng, Angst, Fluff, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, LXC being the best brother, Modern, Idol/Fan AU, LWJ is Bad at Communicating)

3B)

🧡 I Don’t Want to Debut! by countingcr0ws (G, 56k, wangxian, Modern, Reality Show, Idols, Celebrity, Social Media, Epistolary, Romance, Fluff, Footnotes, Kissing, Poetry, Podfic Available)

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4. Hi , idk how to ask about fanfics properly. I am very new to Tumblr . But can you please recommend some fics on Wangxian's parent's generation. Like lan Qiren, Wei Changze, Cangse Sanren, Jiang Fengmian, etc, being teenagers @kwalitymxtxpow7

Cursed Couple by shorimochi (M, 121k, LQR/WRH, CSSR/WCZ, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Out of Character)

The Other Mountain by nirejseki (T, 287k, LQR/WRH, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Mentions of Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma, Domestic Violence, Torture, Sadism, Asexual Character, sex-positive asexual, Past Relationship(s), An Exercise in Gender Roles, Non-Egalitarian Views on Marriage, World Domination, Pedagogical Theory, Ethics, comedy of manners, Implied Harm to Children, Mental Health Issues, Undernegotiated Kink, Canon-Typical Violence, Close POV Narrator, Donghua Imagery) i recommend "the other mountain" by nirejseki, and all her other lan qirenx wen ruohan works

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5. thank you for your hardwork admins! itmf for rich lwj who is head over heels for wwx? and i mean like he is a massive simp for wwx, worship the ground he walks on kind of way ^^

LWJ’s Big Dick Agenda Series by raitala (E, 146k, WangXian, Modern AU, College AU, Porn with Feelings, Light Dom/sub, Under-negotiated Kink, Public Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Cock Warming, Angst, Feels, Domestic fluff, Misgendering, Slut Shaming, Crossdressing, Rimming, Roleplay) try LWJ's big dick agenda!

CEO Billionaire Lan Zhan by detention_notes (T, 2k, WangXian, Modern AU, Parody, Pining Bunnies, Wealth, Crack)

For Safekeeping Purposes by ChilianXianzi (M, 3k, wangxian, Modern, Gangsters, Crime Boss LWJ, Sugar Daddy LWJ, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, And LWJ's going to take care of that, thoroughly, Domestic fluff but everyone's in a crime syndicate, Found Family, Age Difference, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Canon-typical Abusive Jiangs)

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6. For INTMF could you rec some pretty heavy angst with happy and/or hopeful ending? Like Working Title: Everyone Lives (With Knives) series. @dragonfairies

Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX) maybe? do they want canon era stories? I have heavy angst /whump stories but they're not in the canon era

Shameless self rec because angst with happy ending is like my signature at this point.

New Perspective Series by mrcformoso (T, 35k, WangXian, Angst, Hopeful Ending, Fatherhood, Regrets, Flashbacks, POV LWJ, LWJ-centric, Canonical Character Death - WWX, Pining LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī Needs a Hug, Character Development, Dead WWX, Introspection, LWJ is Bad at Feelings, Character Study, Regretful, LWJ Breaking Toxic Cycles, Canon Compliant, LWJ in Seclusion, Post-LWJ in Seclusion, Child LSZ)

Window of the Waking Mind by mrcformoso (M, 8k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, JC & WWX, Graphic depictions of violence, Major Character Death, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Torture, Golden Core Transfer, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Hurt WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX Needs a Break, Flashbacks, Curses, Night Hunts, Suicide, Starvation, Canonical Child Abuse, Canonical Character Death, Cannibalism, Although it was forced by the situation to survive, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, lots of comfort, Soft LQR, Learning To Communicate, Zidian Spiritual Tool, JC Tries, Reaction)

When the Words Stop Coming by mrcformoso (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canonical Character Death, Love Confessions, Rejection, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trauma, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending)

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7. hi, itmf wangxian in a hunger games setting that is not "The Hanging Tree" series by chatonnerie (just read that, it's so good and has me hungering for more!). thx so much!

our lives, never ours by glitteringmoonlight (T, 7k, WangXian, Hunger Games Setting, Angst, Minor Violence, Blood, hunger games typical references to violence, implied happy ending, but it's a bit ambiguous, this exists mostly for angst purposes tbh)

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8. hey admins! itmf longer post canon fics like 'wind rose in the clouds'? thank you ❤️

For 8, what about that fic did the requester like? What specifically are they looking for other than length and post-canon setting? Or are those the only criteria?

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9. IITMF ask; Give me your favorite ‘Wei Wuxian in Wei Wuxian’s body or keeps his body or doesn’t actually die’ fics. I’m in the mood to read more of our favorite boy as his og self. (He doesn’t have to start in his body, but I want my boy looking like himself by the end)

Saw My Life in a Stranger's Face by timetoboldlygo (T, 27k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Married Life, Domestic Fluff, Light Angst, wwx's face changes post-canon to look like his original face, Slight Panic Attack, because lwj doesn't recognize his husband, the mortifying ordeal of not knowing your own body, the terrifying inevitability of change, taller!wwx theory)

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10. fics in which wwx comes back (from the dead/from the burial mounds/from hiding, whatever really) specifically for lwj!! (can be modern too if there r any)

🧡 Ghosts Shouldn’t by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 15k, WangXian, Grief/Mourning, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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11. itmf fics where wangxian time travel to modern times - not reincarnation, but straight time travel. Preferably (mostly) canon typical before the time travel, but the point in canon when it happens does not matter

🧡 The Shade of Old Trees by Kryal (T, 266k, WIP, WangXian, Ridiculously Long Notes, History, Canon Divergence, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Slow Life, Action/Adventure, Magic Returns, BAMF WWX) could technically count if you don't mind it being just wwx who ends up in the future?

take me back to a time by DizziDreams (T, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Modern with Magic, Time Travel, Sharing a Bed, Angst with a Happy Ending, Student!WWX, Time-Traveling Wizard!LWJ, Slow Burn, Character Death, Angst, reference to abuse, Canonical Character Death, Canonical Abuse, Canon!LWJ, Canon-Typical Violence, Mutual Pining, Chronic Illness, Not A Fix-It, Case Fic, implied 3zun, Transmigration, America, [Podfic of] take me back to a time by dreamhazer) not sure if this can work

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12. ITMF for fics where wwx is abused sexually by the jiangs (JFM/JC) or an adult male figure he trusts. (Like the "between a rock and a hard place" series by Mydla but the truth is revealed and it's properly dealt with/ he gets his justice) @linossock

🔒 a choice to call our own by renhui (E, 93k, wangxian, JFM/WWX, WIP, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Forced Bonding, Homelessness, Dubious Consent, Self-Esteem Issues, Soulmates, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining while fucking, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Breaking Up & Making Up, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, Good Uncle LQR, No Sunshot Campaign, Asexuality Spectrum) mostly fits the bill, although the requester should be warned that it's a WIP that ends before JFM gets his comeuppance, although it ends with the beginnings of a setup for that, so it's clearly on the way.

clean from the war (your heart fits like a key) by sysrae (E, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU Reunions, past xy/wwx, xy is fucked up but not evil because it's a modern AU and I said so, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, past wwx/jfm, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Abuse, Rape Recovery, transphobic violence, Victim Blaming, Past wei Wuxian/others, allusions to past self-harm) I think this might fit- note the tags

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13. thank you for this blog!! for the next itmf - any stories that take off like RoseThorne's wonderful ' a grain of millet drifting' - untamed canon-ish where WY is left on his own after the temple scene. angst appreciated - thank you !

tell some storm by qurbat (G, 31k, wangxian, JC & WWX, LSZ & WWX, NHS & WWX, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, liberal amounts of outsider POV, the legend of wangxian, how to create a romance epic for dummies)

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14. Hey can plz anyone tell if there is a fic where wei ying is an omega and wangji is an alpha and we ying is an op omega but no one knows about it like everyone thinks that he is an alpha or something.

backfire by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, LWJ/MXY, One-Sided MXY/WWX, MXY/NMJ, Modern, BDSM AU, Biologically Determined Dom/sub Roles, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Sadism, Masochism, Past Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Self-Harm, BDSM as a Form of Self-Harm, Minor Character Death(s), Arson, Shades of Black Widow WWX, Extremely Dubious Consent, Rape/Non-con Elements, Normalized Homosexuality and Bisexuality, Normalized Polyamory, nonsexual bdsm, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Pining WWX, jealous WWX, Touch-Starved WWX, Professional Dominant WWX, Sex Worker WWX, gentle dom LWJ, Mean Dom LWJ, oblivious LWJ, Past WC/WWX, Minor JGY/WWX, Mentioned WWX/Others, Emotional Infidelity, Angst with a Happy Ending, endgame wangxian, MXY Also Gets a Happy Ending, the tags are scary but i promise there's some lightheartedness too, wangxian love one another so much, WWX is healed by the power of nonsexual bdsm and friendship, and then gets bdsm'd quite sexually and happily by the love of his life, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

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15. helloooo do you know of any fics that are canon events (mdzsverse preferred but cql still fine) narrated from lwj's pov where he's just horrifically pining for wwx? looking for peak canon-compliant lwj pining <3 @nutellacats

🔒 The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide) Novel events from LWJ's pov

The Choice is His to Believe in Me by mrcformoso (T, 11k, WangXian, POV LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence, but only the ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LWJ regaining WWX's Trust, Golden Core Reveal, Good Kid LSZ, Snippets, Post-Time Skip, Love Confessions, Requited Love, Trust Issues, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, WWX Has No Golden Core, Light Jealousy, Fierce Corpse WN, Protective LWJ) CQL compliant but with some novel elements, and with a canon divergence ending. Might want to read New Perspective (link in #6) first for context

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16. Hello! For the next itmf, fics that place heavy emphasis on how what wwx practices is guidao (ghost cultivation) as opposed to modao (demonic cultivation)? Ideally canon dynamics, but no smut is also definitely ok! @lovelyiknow

The Young, the Horny, the Jaded and the Jade: Partners in Time by Admiranda (T, 55k, wangxian, established couple, Crossover, road trip with your older selves, teasing your younger selves about their obvious crushes, yin iron does yin iron things, mdzs/cql crossover, adult wangxian, Teenage Wangxian, genius WWX, LWJ adores his husband, we’re all in this disaster together, xue yang causes problems, WIP)

Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending) Been a while since I last read this one but I recall WWX working & interacting with ghosts & corpses & explaining to other characters how that works

🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 91k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, /Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days) in later chapters

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17. For itmf, what are you guys’ favorite fics that are novel or audio drama canon only fics? No CQL compliant fics please!

two guys r in love thats literally it by victortor (M, 11k, wangxian, Time Travel, the fluffiest thing ive ever written)

🧡 a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke ( M, 180k, WangXian, Arranged marriage, Canon Divergence, Hurt/comfort, Light angst, Canon typical violence)

SanRen by Kyogre (T, 87k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Different First Meeting, Romantic Fluff, Action & Romance, Eventual Happy Ending)

the field meets the wood by astronicht (T, 7k, WangXian, BAMF WWX, slight whump, Ritualistic Self Harm, Canon Era, Tang Dynasty style, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, salt economics, Post-Canon)

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)

SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.

Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader

A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3

TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior

WC: 2.5k

It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.

It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.

Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.

He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.

Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.

You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.

Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.

Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.

No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.

There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.

Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.

You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.

He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.

He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.

Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.

On the third day, you're declared missing.

Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.

Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.

Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).

But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.

Where did his favorite stress-ball go?

It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).

Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?

The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?

Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?

Yes, that's me.

How do you know ___?

We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.

When was the last time you saw her?

Friday night at Floch's party-

-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.

Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.

You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.

[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.

I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.

You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.

But you guys were close once right?

Yeah. Once.

The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”

Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.

At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.

Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.

And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.

There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.

Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.

The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.

He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.

"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.

"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.

You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.

He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.

He hates the sound of his own voice.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.

He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.

Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.

The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."

"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."

"Get out."

"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"

SMASH

The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.

She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.

It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.

Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.

Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.

His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.

He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.

"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"

The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.

"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."

He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.

It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.

His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.

His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.

There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?

He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.

The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.

The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.

He turns the knob.

And Eren Yeager completely shatters.

Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.

He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.

There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.

You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"

[shyestofhearts]

Hey Shy!

Soooo I can’t sleep right now and came up with the headcanon that Damian not only approves of Bernard, but actually enjoys his company. Like, whether Tim stays with Him, or they break up, Damian still hangs with him.

You know what I mean? How some little siblings follow their older siblings’ partners around like lost puppies/ ducklings? I just imagine that with Damian and Bernard, and because it is so random, the BatFam just doesn’t understand. Tim gets annoyed, because he wants privacy, but Bernard LIKES Damian as well.

“Your little brother is the C O O L E S T,”

“What”

“He owns a SWORD, can WEILD said sword, but is a vegetarian after he adopted a cow named that BATMAN AND ROBON saved, and named her Batcow. The coolest,” Tim just internally screeching.

Damian just sits in the corner smug, petting Alfred the Cat, while playing an episode of Bernard’s podcast conspiracy theories.

Or or or

Like, I imagine a young Damian (9/10 year old) meeting Bernard, as he is still adjusting to life in Gotham. Tim is supposed to be watching Damian at the mall, as he is supposed to take a picture with Santa. Running away after snapping and claiming Santa and Christmas are shams, and making like 8 other kids cry, Damian bumps into Bernard. Damian spills hot chocolate on Bernard, and tenses up ready to defend himself (though he ran into Bernard). Bernard doesn’t snap though, he sees the tense way Damian holds himself, sees the look on his face, and instead apologizes to Damian and offers to buy him a hot chocolate instead.

Damian is all suspicious, but would rather grab a hot chocolate than go back and face the scene he made.

“I can kill you with the plastic spoon, should you try anything untoward,” Damian warns, walking into the small shop.

“As you should,” Bernard nods, high both bewilders and comforts Damian.

As they sit there sipping their hot chocolate, Bernard asks what was the problem earlier. Damian, still a bit raw, explodes. He rants about everyone and their strange obsession with the Man in Red. Bernard doesn’t laugh, or judge, or even frown. He sits, listens, actually LISTENS to Damian. It helps calm Damian, he feels heard and respected.

“Then I called the old man a Peeping Pedophile before leaving the mindless parents and their crying children in the line,”

“Well,” Bernard says, and Damian prepares to be told about the spirit of Christmas or some drivel of that sort, but he isn’t prepared for Bernard’s agreement. “You have a point,” He says, causing Damian’s eyes to widen. “At least the songs make him seem like a creeper.” Damian blinks before nodding furiously. “Sees you when you’re sleeping, knows when you’re awake,”

“Exactly!” Damian nearly shouts, “Then he breaks into houses to leave presents? For children?!”

“But that’s just the media,” Bernard says, leaning in to whisper, “They don’t mention what Santa REALLY does, or who he REALLY is,”

Damian spends the next hour listening to Bernard’s conspiracy theory that Santa is actually a secret agent, working for the government to put tracers in homes,so they can track and listen in on their people.

By the time Tim, who had recruited help from Dick and Cas, finds Damian, Bernard has cemented his place in Damian’s mind. Tim has to hold back a groan when he hears Bernard compliment Damian, calling him a “Smart kid, someone who should be listened to more”. However, Tim can’t deny, seeing Damian smile at Bernard that way, not flinching or shouting when his hair is messed up when Bernard messes with it, (a miracle)melts him a bit,

Damian, once Bernard is out of sight, turns to his siblings and declares him to be one of their future partners.

“I do not care who marries him, my one of you must. He is too valuable to lose—“

☃️❄️🌨

Hello there Snow! This is genuinely the funniest take I've seen regarding Bernard and Damian and now I can't stop thinking about it either

Like. Imagine Damian talking to Tim like "you better not break his heart or else he gets me in the divorce"

And Tim is like "Damian we're not married there's no divorce and even then I don't have custody of you so why would he get custody in the divorce???"

[buttterknifeee]

Tims S/O vs. the batfam

You, the reader, are Tim’s significant other. Congrats! you may think the hard parts over right? WRONG. you need to win over the whole ass Wayne family and heres how it goes.

Alfred

refers to you as Mx. L/N; however as you visit the manor more frequently, he begins to refer to you as Mx. Y/N

Since he refers to you as Mx. Y/N, you call him Mr. Alfred because you feel weird calling him just by his first name

No matter what first impressions you gave off to him, he never shared them due to not wanting to be impolite

you quickly realize that none of the bat fam helps with the chores, so you try to lend alfred a hand whenever possible

you try to be polite as possible around him, and he appreciates it

Dick

Is EXTREMELY protective of Tim

So when you first met him, he did the whole “you break my brother’s heart i will break your face” talk and that was TERRIFYING

Tim tells you not to worry about it, but whenever you were with Tim, you could sense Dick out of the corner of your eye, watching

However, as you spend more time around him, he sees that you’re really in love with tim and hes really in love with you

And you see that tim and dick have an amazing brotherly relationship, something you’ve never experienced yourself

One night, you tell dick that you wish that you had a brother as great as him

In that moment, he decided that he was gonna adopt you as one of his siblings and boom hes your big brother too now.

Duke

Duke being considered the newest person in the Wayne Manor, is basically your liaison, explaining all the dynamics and history of the Wayne Family/Manor

Super Charismatic, though hes clearly being observant of your every move, analyzing who you are as a person

But for the most part, he made you feel really comfortable at the manor

So the day you bought him a 1000 puzzle set was the day you basically won him over

You let him geek out about film and riddles, listening to every word he said, which was something that apparently didn’t happen often to him

Also duke straight up just third wheels you as often as he can

Jason

so basically

you were scared of jason

He was rarely at that manor, especially while you were there but when he was, he came in dragging blood or drinking alcohol

once while you were alone in one of the rooms by yourself, Jason came in, mask off, bandage on his right arm

he asked you, “so why are you dating replacement?”

“Why do you call him replacement?”

“Oh you know, because he replaced me when I died”

“oh. right.” Yeah you’re kinda stupid for that one

It takes a while for you to remember that jason is a vigilante who literally died and came back to life, and it takes him a while  to remember that you’re a teenager and not a crime fighting super hero

so yeah your relationship does improve a bit

Whenever you guys get to talk, he always asks you some really deep question that throws you off guard, but you guys end up having really meaningful discussions and you get closer with him that way

Cass

you were even more scared about Cass than Jason

She just silently stared at you sometimes: didn’t even try to hide it

Like duke, she analyzed you a lot during your first meeting with her, although she did it to a more extreme: just by looking at you, she could sense your breathing, heartrate, movements; she was basically reading you soul

From this, should was able to tell just how absolutely frightened you were to meet her, so she made sure to smile to calm you down

Whenever you were alone with her you couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward; not only was there a bit of a language barrier but she was not the most talkative person, at times you just sat in silence

So you would try to do things with her rather than talking: you showed her pictures from your phone, she showed you her fighting moves, and you made conversation through facial expressions and body movements

Steph

VERY AWKWARD SHE PROBABLY HATED YOU IMMEDIATELY THE FIRST TIME YOU MET

i mean whos gonna be happy about seeing their ex’s new s/o not her nope

She kept smiling and laughing but you could see the burning hatred behind her eyes

It took a solid month before she actually talked to you

and it took another month for you to pluck up the courage to ask if she actually hated you

She looked embarrassed and admitted that she did kinda hate you in the beginning but that was solely because you were dating her ex, but she saw how good of a person you were, so she doesn’t hate you anymore

She asked if you hated her, since she kind of ignored you in the beginning

You said no, since she was so cool and you could see why Tim dated someone like her

Yeah so now you’re besties

And you often talking about Tim and his dating antics, sometimes right in front of him lol

Sometimes she would joke about stealing you from him, making sure to give you extra long hugs, and give u a kiss on the cheek just to piss Tim off >:)

Barbara

definitely looked up all your information as soon as she found out you were dating tim

Immediately went to interview mode when she met you

Asked about your future plans with tim, your job, your future college choices, your darkest fears, your median income

“... Im like 16″

Asides from that, shes pretty chill

you dont see her often, but she’s always down for a talk!

Would acted like my aunt from new jersey (in a good way)

Damian

You were super nervous about meeting him

Tim recalled events with him like he was recalling a war

So you were surprised to see a 12 year old kid being the one shooting daggers at you

“Drake brought home another guy/girl/person”

“damian shut the fuck up”

one day you catch him painting in his room

You ask him about his various paintings and he tells you his inspirations from each, going on a long rant for a solid hour

He realizes that hes been lecturing you for an hour and looked at you, blushing a bit

“Damian, you’re an amazing artist.” you say. smiling 

Now Damian always tells tim that you’re too good for him, and everytime you banters with tim damian always took your side

Except when he saw you two kissing/cuddling, he would call you guys “disgusting pigs” and bolt out of the room

Bruce

ah, bruce. the final boss

You couldn’t help but feel absolutely terrified. 

I mean not only is he a super mega rich business man and also like super famous but hes also BATMAN

you are also almost certain that he doesn’t know who you are despite being with tim for a few months by now

Everytime youre both in the same room he is often too busy to look up from whatever hes doing or rushing past you to go somewhere

Tim often confides in you about being the middle child in the family, meaning that sometimes people dont notice him and its really frustrating for him and for you to hear

One day u and tim are chilling in the batcave and bruce comes it and freezes when he sees the two of you

“who are y- what are you doing here-”

“oh um hello Mr. Wayne”

Bruce kinda just looked at you with a perplexed look, but that was when damian and cass walked by

“Father. Drake. Y/N” said damian, with Cassandra smilng and waving at you, to which you wave back.

“Hey Damian” you say nonchalantly. “I saw that you’re working on a new painting. youll have to tell me ALL about it later.”

“Of course. Im sure you’re aware of Georgia O’Keeffe” 

You smiled and nodded, to which he gave the tiniest of a smile back as he and cass headed for the training room

Bruce just stared at you even more perplexed than before, I mean, you just made damian smile

You glanced at Tim, who seemed just as uncomfortable as you

“Oh yeah Y/N, didn’t we have that movie we were gonna watch? yeah lets go like right now.” Tim said as he pulled your arm took you out of the batcave, giving bruce the well talk later look

After that instance he talk to some of his children about you, and they had nothing but good things to say. Even Jason, who literally kills people for a living, put in a good word about you.

The next time you visited the manor, you were greeted by bruce himself, dressed up in a business suit.

“Y/N, correct?” he pulled out his large calloused covered hand and held it towards you

After a brief moment you smiled and took it

“Yeah, thats me”

[vrisrezis]

the matsunos reaction to knowing their s/o have a kid and meeting them?

YES PLS

Also if u want I can do hcs for these specific kids and the matsus bc god . I have ideas

Gender neutral reader

“Wait.. you have a kid?! How?!” Osomatsu asks, bewildered. How hasn’t he known about this? Why hasn’t he met the kid yet? He’s a bit disappointed at first, not that he hates kids he just.. it means there’s another parent in the equation right? So he kinda asks you about that whole thing, are they just dead? Or like were they a dick? Or? Is your kid just adopted?

However, he’s very excited to meet your kid! He wishes you told him about your little girl sooner. He’s not worried he’ll mess up at all, (he probably should be). He doesn’t even ask any questions, he just wants to meet the kid.

You were a bit worried.. and for good reason. Your daughter didn’t exactly .. like people. She was anti social. Besides.. things had been kinda difficult for the both of you upon having to take care of her on her own. She’s been waiting for you to introduce her to Osomatsu, the man you’ve been dating for months now.

Your daughter tended to be a bit judgmental, especially when it came to your relationships. D/n may only be twelve, but she has a knack for being able to sniff out unsuitable future dads/moms/parents. The thing about your daughter was.. she was Osomatsus complete opposite. She’s serious, hardworking, an over achiever type of gal. She knows what she wants and will do anything to get it. Point is, you were a little worried about how she would take you dating a literal neet.

As you walked into your house, your daughter was reading on the floor. As per usual. She looked up, he eyes widening a little to see the male next to you. Red hoodie. She stood up, walking up to osomatsu, and he smiled, taking his hand out for her to shake wordlessly, and she takes it, shaking his hand. “Nice to meet you! I’m Osomatsu!” “So I’ve heard. My name is d/n.” She said, her face more deadpan, in contrast to his smile. He didn’t seem to mind though, like he didn’t care, which made her raise a brow. Your past lovers tended to be intimidated by her seriousness.

Seeing how well behaved your kid was, how serious she was. He didn’t even think she was real, she’s literally the perfect child. Seeing how sweet you were being with her as well. God you were a great parent that raised such a well behaved child and he couldn’t help but sigh out of pure love..

Maybe that’s what won her over, and actually be willing to be nice and have a conversation with him.

“Wait so you’re a neet?” “Yes.” “Are you looking for a job?” “Nope.” She lets out a loud sigh as he smirks. “

They talked for a bit, and honestly? Your daughter couldn’t help but sigh at some of the things he said, only making him laugh more. You are surprised she hasn’t blown up in his face yet.. but.. is she… laughing? At a joke he made? That’s so… unlike her..

You can’t help but smile at the two.

Karamatsu is extremely surprised, but he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t ask about the other parent, it’s personal and he understands if you don’t wanna talk about it. Very excited about meeting the child as well honestly. Tries to keep that cool guy act and pretend he’s not overly excited but it couldn’t be more obvious, he always brings it up whenever you see eachother as well. “So.. heh.. how are s/n and d/n.. hm??” Trying to act cool about it. You simply deadpan, “do you want to meet them karamatsu?” “YES!” He then coughs suddenly, “ahem, yes..”

You wondered if he was excited because they were identical twins. Yes, you had two kids. A son and a daughter, absolute monsters. They’re teens though, so it’s to be expected. Being age fifteen was not easy! But.. you often found yourself scolding the two of them for something new.

You weren’t too nervous about him meeting them, it would certainly be an… interesting night. He seemed rather nervous though. You gave him a reassuring smile before walking in…

Only to find a mess before you, as you expected. You sigh, “d/n!! s/n!! Get down here and clean your mess!!” You yell in a tone karamatsu has never heard you yell. Such a motherly tone with strictness to it. He heard loud stomping, only to see the two rush down the stairs. They originally would just rush, and get back upstairs but the two of them stop upon seeing a man beside you.

“Who is that?” s/n cocks a brow, and before you could answer, your daughter interrupts, hitting his arm. “Ow!” “It’s the new daddy right?! Right? I’m right! Right..?” She smiled excitedly, and he couldn’t help but blush a bit. Dad..dy.. maybe one day? You couldn’t help but blush yourself, “this is my boyfriend karamatsu. Karamatsu this is s/n and d/n. Okay you two, clean up and make it quick.” You say as they both quickly nod, yelling a “nice to meet you!” Before cleaning up all the chip bags, clothes, and wires on the floor.

Karamatsu was having a trouble time acting cool in front of these teens. They were oozing with confidence, and that is intimidating. No matter HOW young they are. They are definitely your kids. They have your confidence, your talkative and mischievous personality, your teasing, everything. “Wait so what’s your job?” “Do you live by yourself?” “Do you have any siblings?”

“Kids..!” You looked at them with that stern look, and they quickly shut up. “Sorry!” S/n grins, “maybe we’re being a bit much..” he laughs sheepishly, as so does his sister. “We’re just excited!” She whines, and karamatsu only chuckles, saying that it was fine.. “I understand you have a lot of questions about dear old me..” he adjusts his shades, “I am a sextuplet.. I love with my brothers..” “woaaah!!” “Seriously?! You love them that much?”

“What about the job?” D/n pressed, and he sweats. “As for a job.. heh.. I..” he pauses. Oh god here it comes.

“I have no plans..!”

“Jeez you paused just for that?!” Your daughter says in annoyance, as your son laughs. “Hahahah! This guy is awesome!”

“Really? Awesome?” He asks, trying not to sound hopeful.

“Yeah!” They both say at the same time, smiling.

He had to stop himself from letting out a loud sigh of relief.

Choromatsu spits out his drink, gaping at you. “You have a WHAT?!” He just can’t believe it to be honest, but at least he won’t ever have to have a talk with you about having kids with you (a talk he was terrified of having) so he’s actually thankful you have children already. He was a bit nervous about meeting the two little girls, they were age 10 but they were little demons.

As you walked in the house, you yelled, “girls! I’m home!” and he saw two little girls run up to hug you “mommy/daddy!” You hugged them back, “hey girls.. you gonna say hi?” You gesture to the man behind you, and they back up from the both of you and they wave “hello!” “Hi!” The twins say at the same time. For some reason, he felt like he was in the same room as Todomatsu. Fake cuteness and kindness to it.. god you were so right, these two were gonna be absolute monsters weren’t they?

He was a lot more scared now rather than just plain nervous, however your girls were good at conversing with him despite their younger age, asking him what he likes to watch and stuff. Not really the .. adult stuff. Which he was thankful for, it’s not like they need to know he does nothing… right?

Well, that was until the younger twin said something. It’s always the youngest isn’t it?

“Oh… I… uhm… I don’t really have a job” he rubs the back of his neck, “oh! Why?” She asks, “uhm… because I.. don’t want to..?” He says honestly, and she looks to you “can I not work because I don’t feel like it?” she looks innocently, but you know her better than that, shaking your head no. “Awww!” She pouts, but smiles. “Well, that’s okay! You can just work at home or something, like .. uhm..” she thinks for a moment, the elder twin pops in “like a malewife!”

He felt his face grow red, malewife?

“Okay girls go set up the table for dinner!” You butt in, smiling.

“Okay!” They say in unison, running off, and you notice them giggling mischievously. You roll your eyes.

These two were gonna be a lot, he knew it. But instead of feeling scared, he felt happy, relieved even.

He was a part of a new family now.

Ichimatsu is surprised as well, a kid? Well it’s not like he minds it exactly, he secretly likes kids a lot.. besides this means he can technically have one of his own if he plays his cards right with you. Which hes much more determined to do. A young 12 year old boy, a 16 year old girl. He can’t wait to meet the two of them.

The younger one was… much more energetic, mischievous even. However, he will hand it to him for digging the color purple, as it was obvious from his dyed purple hair, black and purple striped skirt, (yes, your young boy was wearing a cute skirt), a stylish young boy full of confidence. Despite his smirk though, something about him had a similar aura to his own. Then there’s your daughter, complete opposite. Pink clothing to contrast her brother. With a permanent grumpy frown on her face, he assumed that was normal for her, which he wasn’t wrong about.

As he conversed with them for a bit, it seemed like he had a lot in common with the little boy. “Hehe~ I love cats! Big sis likes em too.. she likes to act all tough and like she doesn’t tho!” He said in a teasing tone as for once looks up from her phone and stops texting. “Not true!” She blushes a bit, and he laughs.

He can’t help but smile himself, making your son smirk with a bit of pride at making your intimidating boyfriend smile. He’s definitely been trying to show a good impression this whole time. Unlike your daughter who doesn’t care either way, she’s definitely like Ichimatsu in many ways.

Though by the end of the day, when he didn’t try conversing with her as much as your son she started putting in effort.

“I didn’t take you for an anime nerd.” Ichimatsu admits, “maybe you should meet my brother.” He says, referring to Choromatsu in particular. “Oh shit you have a brother?” “Yeah. Your mother/father didn’t tell you? I have like five brothers.” “Holy shit that’s horrible” your sister looks in disgust, as her younger brother just laughs at her dramatics.

Your daughter showed much more of her true personality upon the shock of him being a sextuplet, and he ended up chuckling at her ridiculousness.

He already loved the hell outta your kids.

“Cool! When do I get to meet them?!” Jyushimatsu asks rather excitedly, and it’s hard for you to be too surprised by that kinda reaction. Of course he didn’t care you had kids.. three, to be exact. Triplets, all three girls. Yeah.. all three. Originally, you had two girls and one boy, but things have changed, and that was just fine by you, who was once your eldest child and only son, was now your eldest daughter.

Jyushimatsu was eager to meet all three, they’re all 16 years old. The eldest, was the “chill” one of the three. She often likes to just relax and can be seen as overly patient and calm. The second, often with a bored or deadpan look, she reminded Jyushimatsu of Ichimatsu. And the third, who honestly was a spoiled brat, she was grumpy at times and she always got what she wanted.

He ended up talking to the girls a lot, talking about being a sextuplet, being a neet, and of course baseball. Your eldest listened, “oh that’s cool! I love baseball!” She went to get a picture showing him pictures she’s taken with famous baseball players, as the youngest rolls her eyes. The second eldest was as quiet as ever as your boyfriend and your eldest conversed about their similar interests, the youngest complaining, Jyushimatsu laughing it off.

He had lots in common with the youngest too, and was able to eventually gain her approval. He eventually talked with the second daughter about things, which was also nice. She seemed to like him. Your second eldest tended to be the shyer nervous type despite the cold exterior that she puts on, so she really liked such a friendly dude.

He seemed to really like them. And he was really good with them. You couldn’t help but think how sweet he was being, he’s always sweet but it’s different. He’s being different with them. It’s nice.. it’s good. He would be such a good dad.

You smile at the thought.

Todomatsu is certainly surprised that you have children. He’s curious to learn more about them too. “So when do I get to meet em!” He’ll excitedly ask, “whenever you wanna totty” you smile, “though, I must admit.. they can be a bit much sometimes” you rub the back of your neck and he gives you a deadpan look. “Have you met my brothers?”

Good point.

And that’s why he’s here now, talking to the three of your kids. Three identical twins!

Technically your son is the eldest, he’s a grumpy guy though. Always yelling or cursing at something, you think to yourself that maybe it’ll go away, he’s only 16. The other twin, your daughter, is much more outgoing and hyper, his complete opposite. And finally your youngest child. They were more of the silent, mysterious type, even shy.

The eldest was nonchalant with him and honestly you could tell your boyfriend was a bit nervous with him. You smack your son at the back of his head whenever he gave a backhanded comment. He didn’t like your boyfriend at first, but he kinda gave in. Only reason was when he noticed how he looked at you when you were helping your youngest with something, it was like that stupid I’m in love with my s/o look.

He got along with the second the most, she’s easy to get along with given her friendly personality. Besides, she is always in on the newest internet drama, she was bound to get along with him the most. She adores him. And of course, the youngest. The youngest got along with him quickly, actually thinking he was pretty cool. They liked his style, his being more pastel and pink, a huge contrast to their emo style. They weren’t as kept with drama but they definitely were in on clothing trends which they both conversed about. They warmed up to him and got out of their shell, even calling him totty by the end of the night along with your daughter, your son refusing to do that.

Seeing how each one of your kids interacted with totty, it was obvious they all liked him.

He was gonna fit in great with this family.

[pla-teau]

WANDAVISION SERIES FINALE THOUGHTS

WHOEVER’S CUTTING ONIONS NEEDS TO S T O P.

hayward | i was one of the many few who really wished death on the man cause he’s just the worst. this man emptied his clip at two children. i’m glad jimmy was able to pull a fast one on this dick and that darcy hit him with the ice cream truck and very happy to see the man being taken away in cuffs.

vision vs. vision | while i would’ve enjoyed seeing them fight it out until one completely lost, it wouldn’t be vision without some philosophic conversation. it’s true vision fashion. he doesn’t fight unless it’s a last resort. he’s logical and can assess other means in which to deter a foe. truly enjoyed the scene and now i’m just curious as to where tf white vision yeeted off to after regaining the memories from hex!vision? some have speculated possibly wakanda since that is the place where he died. twice. i would love to see him possibly interact with shuri since she would’ve appeared in the memory montage that hex!vision provided him with alongside other events from infinity war.

agatha (aka not mephisto) | overall, i loved agatha as a character and i’m glad she wasn’t killed off by the end of the series. i know she was more villainous in the show but i’m glad they somewhat neutralized her even if it was by cruel punishment brought upon by wanda to keep her trapped in westview as a nosy neighbor. it keeps the door open for us to see more interactions between her and wanda. i’m also glad that she was the foe wanda had to go against. i know many (like myself) speculated mephisto would appear and be revealed but i’m happy i was wrong about that. this is the first entry into phase four and to spill out a big bad right away? probably not the best move. i know ant-man 3 is planning on introducing kang the conqueror so i wouldn’t be shocked if mephisto is used as a red herring to distract us from the actual big bad of the phase, kang the conqueror (while still keeping mephisto around obviously for future battles and possibly use him as a big bad down the road).

family is forever | i was sobbing when seeing the hex start shrinking down in the distance outside the boys’ window. i love that wanda and vision made the move to put them to bed as a way of saying goodbye so they wouldn’t have to see them disappear. i hope to see these same boys come back cause i think no matter what your theory was on them, viewers fell in love with them. if planning for young avengers, i cannot wait to see them be a part of it. given that these boys weren’t real and not actually wanda’s children, i think they’ll go the route that they’ll find each other even if not as a blood related family but reincarnations that know that wanda was their mother in one instance and see her as a mother figure (alongside their actual mothers, of course). i just love them and i really wish they stuck around but i know this won’t be the last time we see them!

wanda’s outfit | i love it and i think pays homage to her comic book costume while still fitting the aesthetic of wanda and the mcu. love the attention to detail and the pattern on her headpiece. someone on here also pointed out in a post how it resembles magneto’s suit and it makes me love it more because of that. in conclusion, this is the scarlet witch and she’s hot.

wanda and vision’s farewell | if i was sobbing at billy and tommy’s fate, i was wailing by the time these two started saying goodbye. we learn that the main reason vision was able to be created the way he was by wanda was because of the mind stone. while she is the scarlet witch, she was exposed to and enhanced by the mind stone that ended up becoming vision. like she said, it’s a part of her. he lives on in her and overall, this scene just cemented that these two are meant to be together. they are going to be that power couple in the mcu moving forward, together or apart. we know these two are meant for each other and have so much love for each other and will find their way back always. while they may change, the one thing you can bet your ass on is that they fucking love each other.

ralph bohner | the twist that no one saw coming - peter is ralph. it’s clear that he was being controlled by agatha because the moment monica took off the necklace, he woke up from her spell. a lot of people are swirling around to say that he’s probably woo’s missing person. we don’t know that and it’s something that’s left unconfirmed. while i would’ve enjoyed the reveal to be peter actually being peter from the x-men universe, i’m also happy he isn’t. yes there was a lot of fanfare and hope for this series to introduce the multiverse but in retrospect, it would’ve been too much to throw at us at the beginning of phase four. throwing in the multiverse right away would’ve taken away from the series being about wanda (separate point i’ll get to at the end). do hope to see evan peters in a future mcu project, though!

wanda’s story moving forward | i hope wanda becomes a sort of anti-hero for the future. this does set up her appearance in doctor strange 2 and i can’t wait to see what she does. while agatha said she’s destined to destroy the world and her power exceeds the sorcerer supreme’s, i hope the writers don’t make wanda into this villain that loses her logic because of extreme power. wanda has proven agatha wrong already by acknowledging the error in her ways. when she realized she was hurting the people of westview, she let them go and stopped hurting them. she learned that yes, she is hurting them without knowing so what she has to do is let them go. wanda has learned throughout her years with the avengers the consequences her powers can have on people. we know she’s never been trained by a witch and yes, that makes her dangerous with her chaos magic. the second post credit scene shows us that she’s determined to teach herself even if it’s through the darkhold. in seeing what she’s done and the power she holds, i think wanda will be this gray moral character. she holds a great deal of power, the most powerful being on the planet at the moment, and that can cloud her judgement at times. despite being an avenger, this show has really shown us that wanda is alone. while she was with the avengers, what have they really done? they kept her in check and helped her utilize her powers for good but then when civil war happened, she was detained and treated like a weapon of mass destruction. the avengers are clearly nonexistent and those that are around, haven’t bothered with her. i also hope that this new phase of marvel kinda tears down the original avengers and their actions because while intentions were good, not everything or everyone was perfect and there’s consequences. and i hope those consequences are shown through the main characters of this phase like wanda.

the complaints | while i loved this show so so much, i did have some issues. while i enjoyed that this show fleshed out more of wanda’s past, i’m sad that they didn’t confirm or at least try to make wanda jewish since they completely erased her romani roots from the comics. this goes back to my whole thing with representation which i’ve mentioned before in response to an article. while i love elizabeth olsen’s portrayal and care she has for wanda, a romani actress still should’ve been cast from the beginning. the least they could’ve done was at least make her jewish even if ever so subtly because that is the other half of wanda’s identity, even if it’s been retconned often. if they are never going to confirm her as magneto’s daughter in the mcu, at least honor that aspect of her identity if you’ve erased one major one already. representation matters and i wish they tried to do right by the character since they clearly paid close attention to other aspects of her comic book history and took a deep dive into her mental health. come at me for these thoughts but i’ll stand by them. another is just directed at the press for the show (i’m looking at you paul bettany). while fans went ham on the theories and marvel will do anything to misdirect you, i think there should’ve been a clear up from marvel about bettany’s claims of a big cameo coming in the series when it was about himself. i get you don’t want to spoil the show and the big surprises it may hold for the audience but still. i think there should’ve been someone behind the scenes or bettany’s publicist could’ve kinda told him to stop hinting at a super duper big cameo. yes, fans got carried away but i think when you’re doing press for marvel, it should be somewhat common knowledge that fans are going to analyze and try to figure out wtf is gonna happen. it’s fun theorizing, don’t get me wrong but when it’s gone the way it has for this show, i think it leaves a lot of people unsatisfied. i’ll admit i was being a clown thinking i’d see patrick stewart as professor x again since he’s an actor paul’s never worked with before and would be a huge fan service for the audience like in the mandalorian season finale. tldr; crazy fan theories comes with the territory. my final grievance actually has to do with the set up for monica’s engineer. i was also hoping we’d someone big or someone that could be big in the future, possibly it was a skrull at the end but the tone and way monica talked about it, i think it was underwhelming to see a character that we came not to care too much about.

final thoughts | overall, i loved this show and it was refreshing to see marvel embrace the magical side of their universe as it continues to expand. the cast was amazing. everyone in the cast and crew deserve awards because this really gave us a show about wanda. i think a lot of people lost that (including myself) with all the theorizing; goes back to my complaint about press for the show. it gave us a show that dealt with trauma and grief in a way we haven’t seen before in marvel’s cinematic universe. i’ll admit i didn’t care much for wanda as i did with the others but this show made me care for her a lot more and made me a bigger fan of her and vision’s story. it grounded itself in dealing with wanda’s grief and trauma in a new way while also exploring her character more. so i’m happy that we didn’t get a super big cameo or that the multiverse wasn’t confirmed because then the tone and attention would’ve shifted away from this story being about her. i hope marvel can give us shows like this that make us care about a character’s emotions and feelings rather than just how cool and badass they look in a suit. it was clear that the cast and crew made this with such love and care that had good storytelling and kept us on edge every week. i hope that marvel can show us these types of stories and ranges from characters in future movies as well.

[kenganparadise]

Would you please grace us with more SFW/NSFW Hayami Masaki HCs? I cannot get enough of this cutie!

Oh ho ho! Hell yes I love this boy with all my heart. You can find my original SFW HCs here and the NSFW ones here

Hayami Masaki-

• We all know Hayami is a huge bookworm. Having another bookworm S/O would mean the world to him. He loves cute library dates.

• Knowing his S/O love to read, he’ll drag his S/O around the library or bookstore and excitedly point out his favorite books. He’s so cute when he does, he’s just so excited to show his S/O the things he likes.

• If he and his S/O move in together he wants a nice reading nook where he and his S/O can cuddle and read together

• He’s a slut for rainy days. That means he gets to spend the whole day with his S/O and listen to the patter of rain outside.

• Hayami wants to teach his S/O judo. He’ll get them a matching Gi. He’ll be so gentle with them, it would be very jovial and lighthearted. He’d have so much fun showing his S/O the ropes.

• It’s canon that Hayami teaches judo to children. It’s also canon that he is apart of a volunteer circle. Hayami adores children. Being able to teach children judo means the world to him.

• He invites his S/O as well. They’ll be able to see the gleam in his eyes and the wide goofy smile on his face. He’s so adorable.

• Hayami wants kids of his own some day. He’ll treat them so much than Katsumasa treated him. He looks forward to that day. He’d be such a good loving dad.

• His S/O definitely makes him look to the future.

🔞WARNING NSFW AHEAD🔞

• He’s got a fantasy... but he’ll never tell his S/O. He really wants his S/O to tie him up and let them have their way with him. His heart swells up whenever his S/O dominates him.

• If his S/O asks him... he’ll timidly tell them about his fantasy. He’d twiddling his thumbs and he can’t quite look at his S/O in the face. His cheeks are tinted red.

• Of course they’ll want to try it out. He feel his heart skip beat after beat. He knows his S/O won’t hurt him. He trust them. He just wants them to use his body.

• He’ll drink up every order they give him. He likes seeing the lust in their eyes as they boss him around. They’ll order him to keep his hands above his head as they ride him. He tries to stay perfectly still but feeling and seeing them bounce on his dick makes him buck his hips up to meet their thrusts.

• He’s so sloppy when he eats them out. He’s moan as he slurps up all their juices. He eats like a starving man and his S/O is his last meal on earth. He could do this for days. He’ll probably accidentally overstimulate his S/O.

• He’d practically cum in his pants feeling his S/O tug on his hair pulling him closer into his meal. He’d love feeling his S/O’s thighs around his head.

• He’s got a slight breeding kink ngl

[contrabandhothead]

Hi! I saw your post about requests! :) could I get some BOB head cannons of what it’s like to date them while also being is easy company? :)

I’m so so SO sorry this took so long, and I hope you like it 🤞🏻also, I couldn’t do all of them because school has been keeping me very busy. If you want to send another request, and i’ll do more for you when I have time 💕 Enjoy!

Dick Winters

generally very private about his relationship

mom and dad™ of easy co. 

 i want to say that he puts you on his team during missions, but i feel like he thinks it’s unprofessional 

so he probably puts you on a team with someone he trusts and that he knows won’t take unnecessary risks *cough cough* Speirs *cough cough* 

doesn’t mean he doesn’t get worried though 

give this man a massage please, he’s stressed af  

you’d never want to jeopardize his position though, so you’re generally okay with it 

however, sometimes you get a little lonely 

Dick notices this and tries to clear out a slot in his schedule in order to spend some quality time with you 

treats you like any of the other men, except when you’re alone

king of stolen kisses behind crumbling walls before a battle

very healthy relationship overall 12/10 would be an amazing father 

secretly wants to get married when the war is over 

i’m not saying he definitely proposed on V-E Day but he definitely did it 

cries at the wedding, especially since it’s been so long since he’s seen you all dolled up because of the war 

also cries because he’s finally getting to marry the love of his life 

drunkenly told Nix at his bachelor party about how amazing you would look at your wedding and then went on and on about the specific shade of your eyes

S I M P 

Nix never lets him forget it 

Lewis Nixon

this man 

let’s be for real here 

he has NO idea how to display affection at all, especially because of his past 

so he does what any rich boy would do 

showers you in gifts that you don’t need 

it’s not that you’re ungrateful for them, you just wish he would understand that you don’t love him for his money 

i feel like everyone forgets that he’s lowkey rich 

can’t relate Nix

he will buy you anything he sees you look at for more than a second

always has them delivered by some random Private 

the men tease you RELENTLESSLY for it 

“hey Y/N, what did that overflowing wallet buy you this week?”

“Shut up Tab”

is always worried about you 

especially since he usually isn’t on the battlefield since he moved to staff

you’re fine 

you can definitely handle yourself after Sobel’s training what a fucking dick

takes you out on small simple dates when you guys actually have weekend passes 

the guys always help you get ready for your dates (they see you as a little sister it’s really cute) 

Ron Speirs 

this man 

oh wow 

the flavor 

never really got to see you until Dog Co. was basically absorbed by Easy Co. 

definitely thinks he’s not good enough for you 

when you first introduced the Easy Co. men to him, they thought the exact same thing (they changed their minds after a while though) 

REASSURE THIS MAN. EVERY. STINKIN. DAY. THAT HE IS GOOD ENOUGH. 

P L E A S E 

secretly is a cuddle monster

will 100% sneak into your foxhole to cuddle and will slit anyone’s throat that mentions it 

this man has arms and legs like an octopus when it comes to cuddling 

will pull you back into his arms even if you need to use the bathroom and will not be letting go 

steals you pretty things for absolutely no reason (Ron, no) 

the man is like a freakin magpie

the men of Easy Co. grow to like him more when they realize how happy he makes you and how he doesn’t hurt you 

he actually values their opinion on your relationship a lot

he knows Easy is like family and you’re like the younger sister 

doesn’t show it though 

pushes you away when he feels insecure 

jealous™

surprisingly domestic 

Carwood Lipton 

wholesome but to the max™

you’re both so in love i feel like i’m going to throw up rainbows

signed up for the paratroopers together

i feel like Carwood is the type of person to marry his high school sweetheart 

so yeah, you guys are that™ couple

best aunt and uncle of easy co. 

Lip worries about you just a littleee more than the other men 

he’s just a worry wart in general 

almost threw hands with Sobel once when Sobel insulted you 

he will not stand for anyone insulting his gal 

isn’t as private as Dick is with his relationship, but is known to hide it from superior officers other than Nix and Winters

aka Sobel

was 100% willing to get kicked out of the infantry to defend you from Sobel 

thinks a lot about how good of a mom you’d be, especially when he sees you caring for the men

is also a cuddler, though not nearly as clingy as Ron

just a loose arm to tuck you into his side, especially during Bastogne 

prefers having you on his team, not only because he cares about you, but also because he admires your skill and accuracy 

you’re a damn good shot, and he’d scream it from a mountain for all to hear 

so proud of his gal 

George Luz

you’re either the jokester and the stoic couple, the shy kid and the jokester couple, or the jokester and the jokester couple 

there’s no in between 

cracks terrible jokes just to see you smile 

still tries pick up lines even AFTER you two are dating (even the guys shake their heads)

you two are the entertainment for easy co. let me tell you 

you’re also the only person that can get George to shut up 

you must thank him in kisses he takes no other currency 

clingy baby™

it’s like dating a 12 year old boy sometimes 

he can be so immature but it’s kind of endearing at times

everyone is immediately accepting of your relationship because it just makes sense and you’re both good for each other

wants a hug and a kiss even if you’re just leaving the dining hall to go to the bathroom 

just give the man what he wants or he’ll pout all day until you kiss his cheek 

you guys once had a match of how long you could ignore each other once 

he was surprisingly dedicated 

but he broke 

he snapped like a twig after everyone went to sleep

he dived into your foxhole and begged you to talk to him

he kept snuggling closer to you until you talked to him again

Joe Toye 

rough on the outside, soft on the inside  

brings you flowers when he asks you out (surprisingly very traditional and respectful when he asks you out)

everyone has a good time when Toye is with you, he loosens up a lot more 

loves when you pet his hair and he can just stare up at the stars while laying in your lap 

he’s just as bad as Speirs when it comes to cuddling 

a cuddle bug but won’t admit it 

actually might be worse than Speirs when it comes to cuddling because he can actually sneak into your bunk while you’re sleeping 

also wants to fight Sobel when Sobel insults you and actually almost threw hands 

he almost got court martialed and was 2 steps away from getting up in Sobel’s face before Guarnere and Luz stopped him

hands down the dumbest thing he has ever done 

you were so mad at him for it 

you didn’t talk to him for a week 

you felt bad because he was always giving you those puppy dog eyes from across the dining hall 

Joe gets teased by the guys for being sweet on you  

“at least I got a broad! the rest of ya’ can’t really say that much.”

will not hesitate to let you win during arm wrestling 

he’s not allowed to arm wrestle with you anymore because the guys know he’s just letting you win 

you’re his #1 fan during arm wrestling 

look at those arms tho

Joe  Liebgott   

y’all thought Toye was soft 

OH BOY 

the way Joe acts around you is definitely bullying material for the other guys 

Lieb drinks respect women juice 

thinks you’re so cool 

would probably walk up to random people and be like “that’s her. she’s my girlfriend. can you believe how lucky i am?” 

thinks it’s so cute when you show off your brand new jump wings to him

you just looked so excited 

he wasn’t even staring at the wings when you started rambling about how happy you were, he was just making this stupid in love face

definitely grabbed your face and kissed you hard after that 

he wants SO many kids???? 

ya know those lists that lots of girls have on their phones and it’s just a bunch of future baby names??? that’s Joe 

this man has 8 names

4 girls names and 4 boy names 

he plans to use every name 

just wants to live the domestic life with you after the war 

will freeze his ass off and take your watch just so you can get some extra sleep 

another cuddle monster (they’re multiplying)

whispers really cute things in german to you until you fall asleep

has also almost fought Sobel for shit he said to you 

David Webster 

you help him fit in more with the other guys 

please teach him the art of socializing  

yes, the men have stolen his journal to read all his terrible poetry about you

still gets shit for it to this day 

shares his chocolate bar with you 

longing stares but from across the room 

doesn’t actually take you out until the war is over because he wants to do it right dammit 

has little to absolutely no relationship experience

please teach him 

or better yet, struggle with him and get made fun of by all the guys 

they actually accept Web more now that he’s with you 

cuz Easy Co. loves you 

sends letters all the time when he’s sent to the hospital 

everyone teases him that he acts like he’s more likely married to Liebgott than to you

you’re the only reason the men will stop teasing him 

definitely more badass then him 

you radiate boss energy and that’s what easy co. likes about you 

especially Web

everyone’s like “that’s my girl!”  

and he just smiles in the corner with the rest of them 

Bill Guarnere 

DID I SAY SOFT??? 

S O F T 

weak for his girl 

arm wrestles just to get your attention (flexes all the time for pete’s sake) 

also wants like a gazillion children and talks about it constantly with Liebgott

this man wants an army of little Italian kids 

no one makes fun of you or Guarnere for his actions to get your attention because they don’t want his fist in their face 

people who have almost punched Sobel for making fun of their girl: let’s add Guarnere to the list 

you didn’t ignore him, you just told him off for being an idiot 

if i could describe it, he sulked like a puppy that got told no more treats

so proud of you when you get your jump wings 

probably makes a toast about it at the celebration 

he was so drunk but it was so cute

literally will do anything for your attention 

chugging three bottles of whiskey so Y/N will pay attention to me??? pass the bottle bitch

not a massive cuddle monster but enjoys PDA and the occassional ass slap

probably has slapped your ass in front of company before

this boy has no morals smh 

don’t worry, you get him back though 

Frank Perconte 

worry wart but multiply it by 1000x 

is always bothering you to brush your teeth 

not because he’s scared your breath stinks, but because he cares about you and your oral hygiene 

now gets bullied about oral hygiene and his relationship with you 

ft Skip. “oh Y/N, take me away my princess. did you brush your little pearly teeth??? i would never want your perfect smile to be ruined.” 

Skip has been chased multiple times around Toccoa for this behavior 

will fight anyone that thinks you’re not a good shot 

is amazed how good you are at darts (knows you’re better than Buck) 

does share a foxhole with you 

is NOT part of the monster cuddler club because he knows when to stop 

has not arm wrestled for your attention but will if so needed 

always needs attention

whiny 12 year old boy P.2

sometimes it’s like you’re dating Luz as well 

Luz has purposefully third wheeled before 

yes, you heard me 

ON PURPOSE

likes spontaneous dates 

would fight Sobel for you but isn’t stupid enough to almost do it 

Buck Compton  

realized he had heart eyes for you before his old girl broke it off with him

WAS RELIEVED WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS DONE WITH HIM IN BASTOGNE 

the other Easy men were like “dude, what the hell are you waiting for. GO GET YOUR GIRL!” 

let’s you win at darts 

is also stupid and needy enough to arm wrestle for your attention

actually wins though 

wants you to kiss his guns (absolutely not sir) 

jealous and protective 

jealous af around Winters 

gets teased a lot about it by the other men

but they can see why he’s insecure about it, Winter’s could sweep any girl he wanted to off her feet

indeed a cuddle monster 

will only share a foxhole with you in Bastogne 

no one else

radiator of heat and thus a good cuddler though 

will only let you make fun of him without repercussions 

wants you to move in as soon as the war is over

always demands to be in your unit during an attack

will keep you safe at all costs (and one of the reasons why he got shot in the ass again) 

Floyd Talbert 

THE ABSOLUTE SWEETEST BABY 

 people use to bully Tab for his condom shipments

now they bully him for the way he acts around you 

tough guy??? no. absolute stick of melted butter when around you 

thinks you’re a saint 

so does the rest of Easy though, so I guess it doesn’t matter

they had everyone from Easy give him a pep talk just to ask you out (Trigger even barked at him) 

he was actually worried you would reject him 

no one will ever reject that man lol it doesn’t make sense

not necessarily a cuddle monster

DEFINITELY A PDA MONSTER THOUGH 

likes when you sit on his lap 

can’t explain it, it just makes sense

will also arm wrestle for your attention 

will honestly do anything for you 

you need me to bring you Jupiter in a jar??? 

sure babe I’ll be right back 

has specific pet names for you 

his favorites are buttercup, angel, and beautiful

Babe Heffron 

P U R E 

does not get bullied for being in a relationship with you because everyone loves him

not a single person in this company, including you, would hesitate to sacrifice their life for that replacement 

whines a lot to you when you don’t give him attention

will arm wrestle for your attention and loses

has not had the chance to fight Sobel before but I feel like he could if he wanted to 

will tear Dike to shreads if he even mutter one hateful word against you 

cuddle monster #2323293

enjoys being the little spoon and the big spoon while in the foxhole 

shares his food with you during meals 

will not hesitate to get shot in the ass for you 

also will not hesitate to get shot for you in general 

is like an angry 6 year old baby when you don’t pay attention to him

is known to give the silent treatment when you’re too busy to talk to him for days

MAKE TIME FOR HIM DO IT NOW 

wants you to meet his Ma in Philly after the war 

has many hopeful dreams that include you after the war 

will only share chocolate with you and Gene

give him a hug, even when he says he doesn’t need it

Eugene Roe 

HOLY SWEET JESUS 

FIRST OFF 

NO ONE IN THEIR GODDAMN RIGHT MIND WOULD EVER MAKE FUN OF YOU, ESPECIALLY AROUND DOC

this man has so many pet names 

he is not afraid to use them on the battlefield, especially if you’re bleeding out because he’ll know you’ll answer to them

“darlin’, mon amour, ma mie, ma belle, ma chérie” 

 please stop Gene, it’s embarassing but also like don’t stop

get us a defibrillator his heart stopped while he was looking at you and we need to do CPR NOW-

thinks you’re the most beautiful girl ever

is not dumb enough to arm wrestle for your attention

he just makes this grumpy or upset face and you catch on quickly 

he’s also not dumb enough to fight Sobel

BUT HE WILL FIGHT ANY SOLDIER WITH THE AUDACITY TO INSULT YOU 

is always worrying about you

especially in Bastogne 

always jumping into your foxhole to check for any wounds

probably lost his sizzuhs that way

always has extra bandages just for you 

treats you with tender care

Donald Malarkey 

THE CUTEST COUPLE EVER

NOT EVEN SKIP HAS THE HEART TO MAKE FUN OF YOU 

is not dumb enough to fight Sobel for you 

doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to punch him though 

is dumb enough to arm wrestle for your attention 

it lowkey depends on the day though 

i mean 

he doesn’t need to arm wrestle for you to admire his arms 

like, have you seen that gif of him taking of his shirt???

loves cuddles in your foxhole but is not a cuddle monster

he’s a big baby when he gets tired

loves it when you take care of him 

has definitely fallen asleep once on your shoulder during watch 

would run up Currahee with full gear 3 times just to see you smile

he needs a hug. give him one now. 

likes to rest his chin on your head 

also wants you to move in (and maybe get married) after the war

treats you kindly, but he’s still a sarcastic little shit 

kiss his muscles

that was literally so long i can’t believe i finished

[mavda]

Beast Tamers

Ch.1 | Ch.2 |

Ch.3: A stroll at night

Naruto sends a notice first thing in the morning to the Hyuuga clan, and he receives an answer a couple of days later. He shares the info with Hinata in one of their strolls, with little fanfare, and Hinata takes it in in the same way, with the softest of hums as an answer. If Naruto had any doubts left in his body, the fact that Hinata shared with him that she did not care if her family could attend their ceremony was enough.

    "When will we h-hold the ceremony?"

    "Two months from now? Three?"

    Hinata frowns and Naruto steals a peck from her lips. "I want you to feel comfortable enough before we get married, I don't mind waiting."

    Hinata looks forward and is ashamed? Glad? Embarrassed to realize that she wouldn't mind getting married sooner, that she wouldn't mind getting more physical with Naruto, that she is already half in love with the man and that her home is in the Uzumaki clan even though she still has the Hyuuga surname attached. She is still fighting the guilt that eats at her.

    "T-two months sounds fine."

    "I will talk with the council, then."

    There are places in the gardens where they are completely covered from prying eyes. There are some roses and bushes tall enough for even Naruto to fit. There is a bamboo grove that works as a wall, too, and a couple of trees that are as wide as they are tall. Hinata doesn't know anymore if it is Naruto who pulls them towards this places or if it's her. She doesn't really mind and Naruto seems to not worry about it, either.

    Naruto doesn't have a problem with his hands anymore, and he likes to cup her cheeks when they start kissing. He then likes to move his thumbs over her cheeks in a caress and by this point Hinata is already feeling the shivers go down her spine. On her side, she likes to put her hands on Naruto's neck and scratch slightly the nape of his head, she loves to hear him gasp in between kisses and he has already shared that her nails feel amazing against his skin. Hinata can only wonder what else her nails can do on his body.

    Everything is new to her and kissing Naruto makes her feel hot all over. She wants to press her body against his, she wants to circle her arms around his neck, she wants to open her mouth wider, she wants to touch him in places were clothes make it hard to reach. And judging by the way Naruto groans and looks at her, she bets he thinks the same.

    There is a voice at the back of her head that calls for restraint, for composure and for her to behave appropriately, and she would have heeded the voice at any other moment if Naruto had been anything other than... well, Naruto. It was him that brought this unabashed side of herself, this freer version, this happier version, this version that was ready to throw herself at a life with him full of hope. And Hinata doesn't know how to express that in any other way that by pressing herself to him, and Naruto has his hands at her back in a second.

    They stop kissing because Hinata is now too close to him and her face fits better in the crook of his neck. And Naruto doesn't mind. He can't remember any of the worries he had had before choosing Hinata as his wife. He can't remember the anxiety that filled him thinking about finding a suitable woman to mother his children. He isn't dumb, he knows this is his dick talking more than anything else, and yet... and yet, he fights his body's urges at night, looks at the ceiling were shadows play and ponders. And all of the things he would have liked to find in his wife, Hinata has.

    Naruto rests his head atop Hinata's and rubs his cheek on her hair. "I'm having a meeting that will drag long today. I won't be able to come see you before dinner... or after."

    "Okay."

    "Remember to eat your dinner."

    "Yes."

    "You have anything planned?"

    "Lord Minato was going to walk me through the... clan fundamentals."

    "Good. Boring stuff, though."

    Hinata giggles and Naruto buries his head on her neck, making her squeal. How could he get so lucky? He doesn't know.

    Maybe this was life showing some compassion and letting him feel lucky for the first time in his life.

⁂

If there's anything Naruto can't help but dread is sitting still for hours on end. It had a lot to do with his hyperactive ass being unable to stay still when he was a child, but now it was more of his body needing exercise and movement because of the damned beast inside him. People got sore muscles, he got headaches and sharp pains on top of that because of the unspent energy sitting still inside of him.

    Naruto rubs his neck for the umpteenth time and his assistant looks apologetic.

    "This really dragged on, you know?"

    Shikamaru Nara is one of the most brilliant minds of this age, and Naruto has the privilege of having him as his aide. Where Naruto lacks, Shikamaru shines. He has a lazy attitude, but doesn't spare efforts when needed.

    "I yearn for my bed," Naruto whines.

    "I'm sure Sakura has everything prepped for you."

    Naruto scoffs, because that goes without saying. Where Naruto and Shikamaru fail, Sakura shines. "Hopefully she went to bed, it would suck if she stayed up waiting for me."

    The answer comes when they turn to his bedroom. Faint and shimmery, but Sakura's outline can be seen from afar.

    Shikamaru shakes his head, "Had it been me, I would have left hours ago."

   Naruto smirks, "Believe me, buddy, I now."

    Naruto's eyes sweep the area out of boredom. Half wanting to see the gardens around him and half wanting to stretch his neck, but there is a figure standing far away and he focuses on it, mystified, the figure doesn't move and Naruto discards options from his head as quick as he can. The moment he realizes that area is close to Hinata's, his feet change direction, Shikamaru is close behind, calling for him. The moment Naruto realizes the figure is a woman he starts to jog towards them. And the moment he realizes it is in fact Hinata standing there, in the middle of the night, in an open space, with the compound's wall a few hundred meters away from her, he runs.

    Hinata hears him when he's close enough, and after recognition lights her face, she smiles. Naruto grabs hold of her and scans his surroundings. Hinata is talking to him, but Naruto's ear are ringing. He has to calm himself, there is nothing near her, there is nothing near them, Shikamaru is next to him, and Naruto feels Shikamaru trying to ease his grip on Hinata to move her away from where they were. But Naruto wants answers.

    "Where is your assistant?"

    Hinata is confused and doesn't understand the urgency in his voice. She notices Shikamaru and is suddenly self-conscious, "He-he's sleeping. I went o-out to get some fr-fresh air."

    Naruto frowns and feels his emotions swirling. "Take her back to her room," he says, as he lets Shikamaru rest his hand on Hinata's shoulder.

    "My lo-" Sakura is jogging towards them. "Stay with Hinata," Naruto orders and Sakura nods once. Naruto is off like a storm, he walks, knowing that there is no haste now, and tries to keep his breathing under control. Hinata is calling to him, but he doesn't hear her.

    Naruto enters Hinata's bedroom and looks at the corner of the room, there, sitting with the covers tidied, sits Neji. Naruto stands in front of him with his arms crossed, menacing. "Do you know what you have done?"

    "There is no excuse, my lord."

    No, there is none. But Neji knew that already.

    Naruto squeezes his arm with strenght. He realizes his anger is being heightened by the beast and breaths out of his mouth with a snarl.

    "My lord!" Hinata reaches the room with Shikamaru and Sakura glued to her back. "My lord, Neji d-didn't know," she walks right next to him, alone, as Shikamaru and Sakura stand far back now, "I left on my own, I-I didn't wake him up. I-"

    Naruto closes his eyes. "It's all right, please, don't worry." Hinata quiets but is restless in her spot. "He will go back to the Hyuuga compound."

    "My Lo-"

    Neji's voice is clear and shuts Hinata's immediately, "As you wish, my lord."

    Naruto grimaces and when he opens his eyes he sees Hinata. Confused and surprised,  with watery eyes. Naruto didn't tell her, she doesn't know.

    "Hinata, he is supposed to be your bodyguard..."

    "I didn't- I didn't wake him..."

    Naruto doesn't know how to explain to her... that Neji made the decision to let her go on her own.

    "He is a ninja on a mission, Hinata, he knew."

    Hinata locks eyes with the floor and Naruto knows that if he keeps his eyes on Neji, he will lose his composure sooner or later. "I will see you tomorrow, my lady."

    He kisses the top of her head and leaves. "Send more guards to this area. Sakura, you guard the room."

    "As you wish, my lord."

    The room is silent and Hinata tries to remain calm. The guilt is eating her alive. For Neji to go back to the compound because he couldn't fulfill his role. Shameful. And it was all her fault.

   "I-I am sorry."

    Neji remains still. Soft and kind, yet weak and useless when born in a ninja clan. There was never a chance for her to become anything else than the shy and stuttering mess that used to follow him around in an attempt to mimic him, in the hopes of overcoming anything at all. There was never any future for her but to remain at her father's side and rot. Who would want a failed heiress? Who would want a woman that could fold with a glare? The answer was obvious, rotten men.

    And somehow, life had decided for Hinata to find the one heir of a clan that somehow fit her like a glove. Destiny was fickle and mean spirited, but sometimes, it gave chances.

    Soft and kind and finally in a place where she wouldn't need to hide those traits.

    "I knew." Neji shares and Hinata looks as confused as ever. Innocent. "I was awake when you left the room, I knew I had to follow you, and yet I didn't. Lord Naruto is correct in sending me back."

    Hinata is shaking her head no and Neji wants to laugh. "I'll talk w-with Lord Naruto, he doesn't have to s-send you back."

    "I knew you went alone and I decided to let you go on your own, my lady. As a member of the Hyuuga clan that also has the clan's technique, and as the future wife of the Uzumaki clan's heir the chances of you becoming a target for ransom or assassination have grown exponentially and yet I-"

    "Still!"

    "You could have died, my lady. Lord Naruto is correct in-"

    "With your eyes... with the Byakugan you saw the c-compound's surroundings, didn't you? With your abilities... you can easily c-cover the whole compound, can't you? You saw that there-there was nothing, right?"

    Hinata is spewing the clan's secrets but she barely registers the fact. She is just trying to find anything to hold onto. Neji... Neji might have been aloof and distant throughout their childhood, but he never did mock her, never made jokes at her expenses, never hit her, never insulted her... Gods, was her childhood such a sad story?

    Neji knows he only needs one more push to get out of Hinata's life. With this show of betrayal, Naruto will have the perfect excuse to reject any other offers from the clan. No one will ever be able to touch her, to order her, to berate her. He only needs to say it... I didn't. I didn't use the byakugan. I sent you out there alone and unprotected and I didn't care. I didn't.

    I didn't

    It's not hard. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.

    But Hinata's voice trembled and Neji can't do it.

    "Lord Naruto is correct in sending me away," he repeats.

    And he can hear Hinata's shaky breath. Relief.

    "I won't hear any m-more on this. I will-I will talk to Lord Naruto t-tomorrow."

    Neji stays kneeled on his futon. And Hinata goes back to hers, turns her back to Neji, and without looking back, with her eyes closed out of pain an frustration, she orders him for the first time in ages, "go back to sleep."

⁂

Hinata has her head glued to the tatami and there is nothing Naruto can say to let her stand upright.

    "It was my fault, m-my lord. It won't happen again... I will have a guard at all times, I promise... P-please let Neji stay."

    Neji sits far back on the room, with a blank stare. Naruto doesn't care for the man. But this is the first time Hinata has asked for something, and although Naruto can't wrap his head around it, the fact is, this is important to Hinata.

    Which means it should be important to him.

    "As you wish, Lady Hinata."

    Hinata doesn't raise her head. Naruto walks to her and kneels, "Hinata?" He whispers.

    "Thank you."

    And he realizes that she's crying.

[creacherkeeper]

find & hold

tdp s3 spoilers - amaya & soren h/c

-

It’s the light that gets her eye—Soren’s armor glinting in the sun. Amaya looks up, just to make sure nothing’s wrong, then turns her eyes back down to her book. She’s resting up against a tree, feet pointed towards the fire. She’s exhausted. They all are.

Something makes her look back up. She isn’t sure what it is. Some feeling in her gut—she’s good at paying attention to those—all the little twinges, the tweaks, the second instinct that prods at her mind and says pay attention, pay attention now, Amaya. She listens to her body. It’s saved her a time or two.

So she looks back up, just enough that she can see as Soren ambles his way over to Callum, who’s hunched over his sketchbook. She watches with a careful eye as Soren leans over.

“What’cha doing?” he asks. It takes Amaya a moment to make out the ‘what’cha’. Only Soren seems to be so sloppy with his speech.

His face is calm, but it’s easy to tell he’s tired by the lines of his body. He’d fought hard on the battlefield. Amaya was surprised the boy—man now, technically—hadn’t complained more about it. In the times she was at the castle, she’d watched him grow up; she forgets sometimes he isn’t the same little kid. 

Amaya does a lot more watching than people think.

Callum says something. His head is turned down to his sketchbook, so she can’t read his lips. She assumes it’s something about runes or spells—she’s been seeing the movement of his charcoal, and it isn’t letters.

“Can I help?”

Callum’s head shakes. He waves a hand.

Soren’s mouth forms a “I want to s—” but then he’s diving for the sketchbook, and Amaya misses the rest. There’s a brief struggle as the two boys smack at each other.

Amaya sets down her book.

Finally, Callum wrestles it from Soren’s grasp. She thinks they’ve been fussing at each other, but she only catches the tail end, Callum’s angry eyebrows and the “Can’t you just go somewhere else?”

Amaya stands.

They both turn to her, startled.

“Callum.” Her movements are bold and harsh. “Don’t be rude.”

“Me?” Callum’s mouth opens and closes a few times, but she doesn’t think he’s actually making noise. He points at himself, then the older boy. “He was the one who—”

“Why can’t he look?”

Callum’s head shakes, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. He gapes for a few more seconds, then his chest jumps in what Amaya has come to realize is a scoff.

“He wouldn’t understand it anyway.”

She glares. Callum’s mouth clamps shut.

“Aunt Amaya …” he signs, looking sheepish. “Please don’t—”

But her hands are already flying—too fast, she knows, for him to keep up. He gets the gist. This is a chewing out if he’s ever seen one, and he doesn’t need an interpreter to know she’s unhappy. He shrinks back as she continues, hands cutting and jabbing, fingers pointing and curling. He nods, a wince on his face.

Eventually, he holds up a hand in surrender. The other comes up to say O-K, O-K, I understand.

She takes a breath, letting her hands fall on her hips. She looks back and forth between the two of them, then her finger comes up, motioning to them both. “Say sorry.”

Callum’s head turns. The two boys exchange words.

He looks back, hesitant, as if looking for permission to get back to his task. Amaya levels him with a sigh, just to show she’s still not pleased (she had been told by her sister that a well-timed sigh could be devastating to a hearing child). After a moment, she lets her flat hand touch and fall from her chin. Thank you.

He nods, shuffling from his place on the ground next to the fire. He raises a closed fist and lets it circle a few times on his chest. Sorry.

She nods, and turns away.

Her book is in sight, almost back to her resting place by the tree, when there’s a tug on her arm. She turns.

There’s a shy smile on Soren’s face. He makes a two with his fingers and motions between them, raises his arm to tap his hand against his chin, then points away from the camp.

She smiles, nodding. She leads him away to an empty spot, free of soldiers or elves or children running underfoot. Well, teenagers, most of them. Amaya can’t help but think of them as kids. Even Soren—taller than she is now, beard growing in as full as his father’s.

The thought turns her stomach.

“Thank you,” Soren signs.

She points at him, then circles her fingers, eyebrows raised in a question. You sign?

“I’m learning,” he signs back.

“Why?”

He smiles, suddenly looking nervous, and also like he’s trying not to look nervous. Soren has never been a hard boy to read, but Amaya admits he’s been surprising her lately.

His hands rise again, movements shaky.

Future—he signs—you me-fight-together.  He smiles again, but he still looks unsure, as if he’s expecting her to be unhappy. I-want.

Her chest warms.

She keeps her signs clear and slow. Future-I-want-same as you.

He beams. He looks relieved.

“I’m sorry Callum snapped at you,” she continues, watching carefully to make sure he understands. “Everyone is tired from the fight. I’m sure he feels bad.”

He waves her off. “It’s okay. I know I—” His hands still, unsure of the next sign.

“If you need to talk, that’s okay.”

He nods. She watches his lips as he says, “I know I was probably being annoying or too pushy or something. I probably deserved it.”

Her brows furrow. “Why do you say that?”

“Well I—”

He can’t come up with an answer fast enough. She signs, “You’re being mean.”

His brows furrow. He repeats the last sign back to her.

M-E-A-N, she spells.

His eyebrows raise. “I- I know, I was just saying—”

“No. Mean to yourself.”

He stares. It’s like he’s never encountered that concept before, Amaya thinks.

“Soren,” she spells slowly, “you’re a good boy. You have a good heart. When other people are mean, it’s not your fault.”

He blinks at her, owlish. “I don’t understand.”

“You understood the signs.” Her eyebrows aren’t raised—it’s not a question.

He gives a little nod.

She sighs, fingers of one hand wiggling as she tries to figure out what to say.

“When I was young,” she starts, making sure not to blend her signs together, “we didn’t know I was deaf. Doctors told my parents I was dumb, and that’s why I didn’t speak.” She pauses, flicking her pointer finger by her forehead. He nods back, confirming his understanding. She continues, “I knew other people treated me badly for it. They thought I was dumb, and they treated my sister and I differently. I couldn’t hear the words, but I understood that, and it hurt me.”

He stares at her. His face has fallen grave.

She flicks her finger again, and he nods.

“My sister is my heart,” she continues. “I didn’t blame her. I love my sister. But we were different, so people were mean.”

His eyes fall. Her instinct is to wave and get his attention, but she lets her hands still as she waits for him to look back up.

Eventually, he does. He’s understood her story—she can tell by the droop of his expression.

“Why are you telling me this?” he asks.

“You and your sister are different. She likes books. She likes magic. You like—”

“Fighting,” he supplies, glum.

She nods. “You like fighting. You don’t have the skills your sister does, but that doesn’t mean people should treat you badly.”

His eyes drop again. “Claudia’s really smart,” he says. Amaya has a hard time making out the words—she thinks he’s whispering them. “I’m not. But people aren’t- He never meant to—”

He catches himself, looking up with a guilty expression.

Amaya watches him. She’s not sure what she’s going to say will be accepted, but she’s never been known for tiptoeing around a situation. Even when the boys were kids, she didn’t put on child gloves for them. Her hands did the talking, and they could take her meaning or not.

“People can’t see you. They think you’re dumb, so they’re mean. Your dad was mean. Even Claudia. That’s not your fault. And I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.”

He swallows. His hands twist in the fabric of his cape.

Amaya’s fingers wiggle by her side, thinking. She hates that she has to limit her signs, but this isn’t a conversation she can pull Gren into, even that elf—Kazi. This needs to be between the two of them. He’s not going to listen if it isn’t.

Her fingers hum, itching to move and fly, to say, Your father was a bastard and I’m glad he’s gone. I should have gotten you away—both of you—before all this happened. I’m sorry I didn’t see the truth sooner, I’m sorry I keep failing as a protector, I’m sorry people make you feel like less. You’re not less. You’re brave and noble and strong, no one should be making you feel that way. He was bad, Soren—he was wrong. You didn’t deserve him.

She clenches and unclenches her hand.

He watches her from the corner of his eye as her hands rise again.

“There are people who make you feel good. Who are they?”

His lips stay closed. His hands are silent.

Her heart cracks.

“Those people, the good people—” Her hands don’t shake out of willpower alone. “-you find them. You hold on. That’s what it is to start a family.”

“I had a family,” he says. This, she knows, is in a whisper. “They didn’t have me back.”

Her hands drop. She nods.

He nods back, lips twitching. He raises a hand, palm meeting his cheek, his eye. He sniffs. “He really was a dick, huh?”

One corner of Amaya’s mouth pulls. She nods again.

“So what do I do?”

She tilts her head as she looks at him, not sure what to say. What does she even say? There’s no shape her hands can make that will undo all this hurt.

Her arms rise.

He stares back for a moment, cautious.

Her fingers wiggle as she waves him forward. 

After a moment, he steps into her arms. Their armor clinks together. She wraps her arms around him and squeezes, and after a moment, he hugs back, chin resting on her shoulder. She lets him stay there for a moment, just holding him as a long breath escapes his chest. Then, she drops her center of gravity, braces, and lifts him right off the ground. She can feel his shout in the hum of his armor, but she’s laughing, and after a moment, he is too. 

He pats her back, and she drops him. There’s a grin on his face when they part, and she doesn’t make comment on the shine on his cheeks. She reaches up and ruffles his hair—she hates that he’s grown taller than her—and he laughs again. 

He reaches up to his chin, then drops his flat hand. Thank you. 

“Find your people,” she signs back. “Hold on.” 

He’s still for a moment, watching her. His expression is soft, so soft she almost misses his words. 

“I think I just did.”

[theshinsun]

A-Z for honesty hour because I'm an asshole. :D

A - If I’m in love.

...yes. I never thought I would be again, I thought I’d been too hurt and jaded to feel this way again, but against all odds, I’m back to being 17 in full force.

B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.

The only one who ever calls me is my mother. And customers at work.

C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.

damn, almost a year now… not since my last relationship ended back in October-ish. even then, it was mostly casual pecks idk if we ever seriously made out tbh.

D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.

already answered (twice) but I'll keep going… I've got a definite preference of guys over girls, but I'm also a bi disaster and sometimes it doesn't make a lot of sense why this person is instantly attractive to me while that person isn't. certain aspects of femininity do appeal to me, but weirdly other aspects seem to be a turn-off and I can't always put my finger on what or why. ...that caveat does not apply to masculinity though, even if it's traditionally "masculine" features on a feminine-presenting individual I am 100% down every time.

E - How many holes I have in my ears.

two and a half? I got a third piercing at some point halfway up the lobe but it got infected and scarred over I think. the holes I do have are also stretched (I'm up to 0G now) and I've been meaning to get some more.

F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’

wasn't given any options, so I guess I'll go with hot or cold lol. I prefer hot, I'm one of those weirdos who loves summer because of the heat and I'll usually take a hot food/drink over a cold one.

G - The last person I said ‘I love you’ to.

my mom, over the phone just now.

H - The last person I hugged.

my roommate. we're not always super touchy-feely with each other but I've been feeling kind of down and she noticed.

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.

I'm not usually a very jealous person, but the last time I really felt that way… I'd recently broken up with my ex, and they were sitting on someone else's lap and I… felt things. part of the reason I realized I may have made a mistake.

J - Are you insecure. What about?

K - What my full name is

already answered, my first and middle are Jacob Brooks, I'm not putting my last name out there sorry I don't trust like that.

L - If I have siblings.

already answered, I've got two, an older brother and a younger sister.

M - If I forgive betrayal.

I mean, I forgive but I don't forget, ya know? like I'll accept an apology if it's sincere and welcome the person back and never bring it up again, but I'm probably gonna be cautious around them in the future, and not trust them as readily as I would have before.  

N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.

if I call someone my friend it means I really feel close with them, and I treat my friends basically like my family. I try to always be honest and supportive of them, bc I love and appreciate them and just want them to be happy. 

O - If I like my school.

I love my school. the campus is beautiful, the teachers are fantastic, and I just love being there and learning and growing in my classes. I'm really sad this semester is probably going to be mostly online because I really feel like I belong in those studios and on that campus and I miss it.

P - What kind of music I like.

already answered, and it mostly boiled down to all over the fuckin place, so this time… band recommendations, here we go. no you have no say in this.

here, have a clump of random favorite bands off the top of my head: mother mother, bad suns, nothing but thieves, hozier, shearwater, the neighbourhood, steam powered giraffe, rainbow kitten surprise, the oh hellos, gregory alan isakov, caravan palace, mystery skulls, khai dreams, autoheart, muse, silversun pickups, thousand foot krutch, two door cinema club, twenty one pilots, blue october, jukebox the ghost

Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.

I'm not a partier at All, but I did have a bunch of friends over for the 4th (okay I say a bunch but it was like four people from our usual less-socially distant circle). I have no idea when the next get-together will be, it's kinda hard to plan those kinds of things lately.

R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.

the phrasing of this question is weird but I'm gonna assume it means things I'm curious about? let's go with that.

travel. I haven't ever been out of the country and I'd like to see other parts of the world at least at some point in my life.

tattoos. both getting them and learning to do them, it's a niche branch of art that I'm just fascinated by and I might like to do it as a career if I knew more about it.

same thing with being a florist. I'm really drawn to it as a concept and I'm super curious how it works, but I have no idea what kind of… qualifications and whatnot I'd need for that.

 surfing. I'm surrounded by the lifestyle and now kind of own a surfboard, I just want to know what the appeal is.

this may be a bit tmi, but I'm really curious what it's like to have a dick. I don't suppose I'll strictly ever know, but I still really want to… probably one of the biggest things to clue me in that I'm definitely trans is the literal penis envy ngl. 

I've always kind of had a fascination with the ocean, and I'd love to go like, scuba diving or something someday, to see it up close and personal.

I think everyone has the impulse thought of shaving their head at some point. maybe someday I will I don't quite have the balls to do it now.

I've gone this long in my life and never wielded a sword? a travesty. I don't pretend to have the grace to actually know how to use one, but I've like, never even held a real one and the idea interests me a lot.

this one might be slightly morbid curiosity, but I don't think I've ever been like, properly drunk or high before, like I've been tipsy but I've never been wasted, you know? the idea kind of scares me and I don't think I'm going to go out and remedy it, but it's still there, and even if I know it's not a good idea, I do still wonder what that's like.

same vein, maybe even a little darker, but I've got at least a little morbid curiosity about like, death and real danger. again, not planning to act on it At All, but the thought is still lurking in the back of my mind like what if…? you asked for honesty.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

S - 2 habits.

bit of a new habit, but I have a whole ritual of disinfecting groceries when I bring them home, and then disinfecting the door knobs and counters. I don't know if it'll persist after the pandemic is over, but it's already ingrained in me and I don't feel comfortable if I skip it or do  it differently.

I apologize for things that aren't my fault. it's such an instinct at this point to say "sorry" when I'm uncomfortable or anxious that it doesn't even register anymore, even when people tell me not to be sorry, I'm still gonna say it, sorry.

T - 5 things I love unconditionally.

already answered so here's 5 more

my family. if I haven't got my family I haven't got anything, we've got each others' backs and I won't turn on them for anything

my friends. same deal, I owe so much to my friends, I love them, and that won't change no matter what they decide to do or be.

sleep. I love sleep so much, even if it's just an involuntary nap, though for someone who loves it so much I sure don't get enough of it

spotify. I know it has problems, I know there are probably more streamlined/cheaper music streaming services out there, but at this point, I've sunk too much of my time and energy into this one and I'll never give it up

my ocs. I don't talk about them very much on this platform, but I have them, they're my children, and I love them even if they're assholes and never easy to write/draw. 

U - How many texts I send daily.

already answered, the number varies, and sometimes swings drastically between like, 5 and 35 on any given day.

V - 3 big dreams.

graduate art school. it's gonna be a serious undertaking and probably take several more years and a lot of loans at this point, but I'm still determined to get there someday.

someday I want to write a book. I know I've said that before on a different prompt, but it wouldn't be a list of dreams without including this one that I've held onto since childhood. 

this one's kind of vague, but someday… I want to not be afraid anymore. like I want to finally be in a state of mental/financial security so I can live my life without the fear of what's coming next. 

W - An idol.

it's probably really basic to list a youtuber, but I've still gotta go with Chase Ross. the guy was an inspiration and a major source of information and support for me early-on in my transition, and even watching him now I still want to approach life with the pure positive energy and confidence that he has. 

X - If I’ve done something I regret very much.

yes. a couple things, really… some of which I don't think I'll ever be able to make up for.

Y - If I like my town and why.

my current town? yeah, it's got its problems but it's also beautiful and full of life and art and unique energy and I miss the days before the Corona End Times when I could actually go out and enjoy it.

Z - Ask any question you want.

??? I did not receive any specification for this one, and given that I didn't skip even the duplicate answers and this is ridiculously long, this one I'm gonna SKIP.

[duhragonball]

7 Comfort Movies

Tagged by @pandemicpicnic . List your seven favorite comfort movies, then tag 7 people.   

This is a good thing to pass around, since I could use the diversion, and as I think about this list, I realize how long it’s been since I last saw a lot of these movies.  

In no particular order...

1) Dragon Ball Z: Fusion Reborn

I dunno if these are necessarily comfort movies, as opposed to just movies I like the best, but I don’t watch movies a whole lot, so I’m guessing my all-time favorites are probably close enough.   Movie 12 is good watchin’, period.   This is a movie about everyone working together.    Friends, enemies, strangers, the living and the dead, the damned and the divine.   I watch this movie and wish that we in the real world could put aside our differences so easily and blow up all the Nazis.

2) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

People say this is the worst Superman movie, but fuck that noise.   This is the only one where Superman throws all the nuclear weapons into the sun.    But one of them has a chicken nugget attached to it, which grows into a clone of Superman with scratchy fingernails, his only weakness.    So Superman has to kick his ass on/with the moon, and then tell everyone that nuclear war is too big a job for Superman, because we’ll just re-arm the minute his back is turned. 

This is a story about high school physics, Luthor.     Sometimes the things we fear the most are only the darker side of our greatest strengths.   If humanity has the power to destroy itself, then doesn’t that mean we have the power to save ourselves as well?   The choice is ours.  

3) Spaceballs

Some killjoys actually hated this movie, and point to it as evidence that Mel Brooks lost his touch.   I respectfully submit that those people are dumb.  Spaceballs came out during the dark years between Return of the Jedi and Phantom Menace, when we all wanted more Star Wars but thought we would never get more.    Brooks heard our pleas, and gave us this movie, which is basically Star Wars with dick jokes all over it.   People always go on about how Star Trek predicted smartphones and the Simpsons predicted the Trump administration, but only Spaceballs was prescient enough to declare: “Fuck!    Even in the future, nothing works!”

This is a story about following your heart.    If all you care about is duty, and obligation, and profit, you’ll end up marrying some dullard, or owing your soul to a talking pizza, or roaming the universe in search of air.   

4) Batman: Mask of the Phantasm

This is the best Batman movie ever, and maybe even the best comic book movie period.    In 1994, Batman the Animated Series was popular enough that they made a feature film and ran it in theaters and everything.  I remember some smartass article at the time questioning whether parents would see the point in taking their kids to watch a movie of something that’s on TV for free, which is just dumb.    It’s not like they ran four episodes of the TV series for this thing.   It’s an original story!   Anyway, Batman has to figure out what the deal is with this new vigilante who fights crime with murder, which is also a crime.   He also gets very sad in place and it’s very emotional and I bought the soundtrack as soon as I could because I wanted to listen to it and feel things.

This is a story about the future, and promises, and the roads not taken.   And when all is said and done, maybe the choices we made were the right ones after all, in spite of our second-guesses.

5) Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

I considered putting Revenge of the Sith on this list, since that’s usually the one I look up clips from on YouTube, but there’s no topping Jedi.   I saw this in the theatre when I was six and everything was awesome.    Jabba the Hutt, wint-o-green lightsabers, speeder bikes, Ewoks breaking stuff with logs and rocks, it’s just a pleasure to watch.   Also, this movie introduces Emperor Palpatine, and lays the foundation for the Sith lore that made me love Revenge of the SIth in the first place.  Not long after we got home from seeing this movie in 1983, I tried to draw this scene in the screencap above, because it left such a deep impression on me.   

This is a story about feelings.    Every butthole in Star Wars is always telling everyone else what to feel and how much they should feel it, and don’t get too attached to this or that.     But in this movie Luke has to exercise restraint and then cut loose, give into his passions and then reign them in, care for his friends and family but also be willing to let them go.    Everyone can give him advice, but he’s got to hoe that row himself, and figure it out as he goes.   He doesn’t always get it exactly right, but he still gets it.   

6) The Transformers: The Movie (1986)

The historians will say that cartoons like the original Transformers were nothing more than glorified toy commercials, made possible by the deregulation of children’s entertainment in the 1980′s.    I find this incredibly unfair, because that analysis ignores the fact that Transformers was a fucking awesome cartoon.    They’re all robots, so they could shoot and punch each other without any guff from standards and practices. And since the show was designed to promote an entire toy line, there were literally dozens of characters, each given a surprising amount of character and personality.   Starscream (center) and Ramjet (right) are practically the same toy, but kids wanted both of them because Starscream is a whiny, shitty drama queen, and Ramjet is a dumbass who likes to hit things with his head.     Astrotrain (left) is just a cool dude who can be a train or a space shuttle. 

This movie is the height of the franchise, where they could raise the stakes even higher, and introduce even crazier concepts like planet-eating monsters and robots actually killing each other for keeps.    I see fans from my generation acting all traumatized over all the deaths, like they never should have done that in a movie marketed for children, but this was a story about renewal.   The old order changeth, and it falls to the newcomers to rise up and carry on.    I’ve always taken a lot of comfort in the way these characters pass the torch.    The Smurfs were never brave enough to have Papa Smurf name his successor.  

7) UHF

Geez, I haven’t watched this one in forever.    I’d have to double-check to see if I even have it on DVD.    UHF was the ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic vehicle from the late 1980′s.   I want to say ‘89.    He plays a guy who takes over a TV station and runs all these ludicrous shows on it until it becomes the most popular channel in town.   It’s basically a bunch of sketch comedy stitched together into a movie, and it doesn’t try to apologize for this.  

This is a story of the importance of imagination, and of being true to yourself.   Al’s character has trouble finding a steady job, and its’ easy to conclude that there’s something wrong with him, but it’s really just that he hasn’t found the right opportunity for his passions and skills.   Once he finds his place, he rises to the occasion.  

And that’s my list.   Now I gotta tag people.   @auralime, @ediblenonsense, @semercury​, @twobellsilence​, @drowning-in-this-starry-serenade​, @cozymochi​, and @glintea​.

[everyonesawhoregrace]

O B S E S S I O N S - 04 “I’m Not Going Anywhere”

3

2 

1

Her fingers danced along the piano. It's the crack of dawn, the beginning of a new day. Music flowed from the keys, dancing its way throughout the couples small home. The smell of camomile tea whisked with a hint of cinnamon.

Cleo hasn't slept very much, the overwhelming urge to hiccup as her acid reflux continued to punish her. She was tossing and turning in bed, unable to do anything but sit up and drink heaps of water.

It was a day after Arthur was over for dinner. A day after Tommy and Cleo slumped back into their chairs and dragged their sorry arses to clear up the table.

She was biting on her lip, recalling what happened only a few hours ago. She recalls Arthur's foul mouth, she recalls Tommy defending her.

Cleo's fingers moved like zipping bees, she was fast as she got lost in thought.

Her eyes watered as she kept on hearing Arthur's hurtful words. You ought to put a muzzle on that one, she's got a foul mouth like her mother.

I am nothing like her, she repeated over and over, trying to keep herself from crying but poor Cleo couldn't help herself.

It was perhaps, the biggest insecurity of hers. Her mum. Greta was frail, and weak, and an addict. She couldn't provide for her child, and it embarrassed Cleo more than anything seeing how well treated her fellow classmates were. Coming to school with full bellies and a clean clothes. She saw all the mums walking their children to school, kissing them away. Cleo didn't know that lifestyle, nearly every morning she'd have to step over her drunk mum to get to the door. She hated her mum, but she also loved her tremendously.

It was a twisted relationship, but it was something Cleo endured for years.

The memory of her mum, the way she'd choose morphine over her starving daughter. Fill her belly up with liquor, while Cleo was forced to suffer.

Cleo's hand fell over her belly, she swallowed, feeling her throat swell up. "I'll never be like her, little one. I promise you, your papa and I, we'll protect you..."

The sound of his screams jolts Cleo to her feet, she races down the hall, to their bedroom. He wails, he arms thrashing all over the place. He screams, begging for someone to help him. She instantly begins to shake, petrified for her husband.

What used to happen to her lover all the time, only happens once in a while. This night terror that didn't seem to go away. She would grab him, and shake him awake, assure him that he's safe. He's home.

She rushed to his aid, and coddled him. Cleo got on her knees, looking at him as she run her hand over his face. He was sweating, but it was chilly indoors.

"Tommy," She breathed, pressing her lips together. "Tom, wake up!" She shook him. "You're home! You're here, Tommy. You're here!"

He squeezed his eyes shut, thrashing. She tried to gather his arms in her hands, but he was too strong.

"Thomas please!" She begged, her getting louder, closing her eyes.

Finally, he had snapped out of the mines that he was suffocating in and gasped a breath. He sat up, grabbing his chest.

"Tommy," Cleo stood and sat down beside him. "Baby," her hands fell on his cheeks. "You okay?"

He stares blankly into her eyes. The two sit in silence as he catches his breath.

"Cleo..." He manages finally, breathlessly. I'm home.

He was stuck in the mines, it was an ongoing nightmare he had. Where it was him, alone, and the dirt around him tremors and it craves in on him.

"I'm just buried alive." He retells the story as she pours him a cup of tea. "It's like, I can breathe, I know I can breathe, but around me is just dirt. No sign of life. And I'm dying, suffocating, six-feet under, being crushed begging for help but no one can hear me..."

She catches a tear from her eyes as she sits down across from him. Rather than reaching for the cup of tea, he reaches for her hand.

"Did I scare you?" He leans in and wipes under her eye. "You cryin'?"

"Yes but-" She shakes her head, "Tommy, don't worry about me!" She sniffles and begins to cry all over again. Cleo wraps her arms around him and rests her head on his shoulder. "I just hate to see you hurting." She exhales, squeezing him, "I love you so much, baby."

He shuts his eyes, listening to the vibrations of her voice drum against his. Here is where home is. In her arms, fuck everything else. There's no one else in this world like Cleo. Not a single soul who'll listen the way she does.

"I love you so much more." He plants a soft kiss under her earlobe and tucks his head in her neck.

There's nothing better than being in her arms, he's certain of this. And she's just as positive about that too, he's such a good hugger.

But it's Cleo who pulls away first, out of curiosity she asks. "Are you feeling better?"

He glances down at her, his eyes a cloudy grey.

Finally, Cleo gets up, I know what'll help.

"Come on," She extends her hand, "Let's take a bath."

The two sit naked in their bath, it's Tommy against the tub, studying Cleo's back. He soaks her skin with the deliciously warm water, that has hints of lavender in it. He listens to her moan as he drags his teeth along her shoulder. He kisses her softly, unable to help himself. She giggles as he kisses the back of her neck, Cleo's always been ticklish.

She quickly pulls herself away, turning around to face him. The two now opposite to each other, looking at one another. He notices her nipples popping up above the water.

"I have to tell you something." He begins, submerging himself beneath the water. He comes back up, the steam rolls off of his body.

He stares intently at her before continuing. "I would be lying if I said I wasn't seriously considering taking up Arthur's offer in joining the Peaky Blinders."

Cleo's natural, and instinctual reaction would be to bicker at Tommy. Call him naive for thinking it was ok to join the Peaky Blinders. The mere thought of him joining the gang, it's borderline suicide!

"So, what's stopping you?" She asks, thinking she should probably have thanked him for being so transparent. It's a quality she always admired about Tommy, he wore his heart on his sleeve. He was always honest, he didn't hide much. Unless it was for her own good.

"I don't want things between you and I to change." He murmurs, a trace of fear in his voice.

Her mouth dries as she digests his words.

He's right, ultimately, things between the two would change if he did join the gang. With a lot of money, the two could create a lot of problems. Not to mention, the lifestyle of Arthur and John was fuck women and get money. There was nothing substantial. They had a fully loaded pistol in one hand, and their dicks in the other!

Tommy had a future in front of him, the two were working towards that. Train horses, teach children, out one of them up in the Darby. Raise a family, be merry, and proud. Grow old someday and have their children take care of them. The two were working towards that! A life together, a good, meaningful life.

Cleo frowns, looking at her hands through the clear water. "Why do you want join them?" She pauses, before meeting his eyes. "Is it the money?"

He runs a wet hand through his hair. "Yes. And the instability, I don't want you to have to count your change at the market. God forbid our child struggles to afford a simple snack..."

"We can find the money in an easier, legal way, Thomas." She looks him straight in the eyes. "You saw how lost your brother looked yesterday..." She hated mentioning it, but it was true! Arthur had red around his eyes, he looked drunk and high.

"I'm just saying I need to support my family, and I trust myself enough to know that I'm not as weak as Arthur is..."

"What are you talking about?" She inhaled. Wow this conversation has taken a turn. "Baby," He's been really thinking about this. Damn it. "What's going on?"

His eyes blaze, and though he doesn't raise his voice, she can tell he's trying to rein in his temper.

Thomas swallows, "The bills are piling up, Cleo, we can barely afford a crib for the baby let alone groceries."

"Then I'll sell the gold I got from my mums friend."

"And what happens when that runs out?" He raises an eyebrow, challenging her.

"Then, then we find you a job in the city. I'll see if I can work-" She responds sternly.

His eyes narrow. "You're pregnant."

"You are not joining them!" She shouts.

Blue eyes watch her closely. Cleo. Thomas almost gives up, he wants to hold her. But Cleo looks up, her lips tilt downwards. She lets out a shaky breath, pressing her hand to her forehead. A tear rolls down her cheek.

"I nearly lost you when you left for France, Thomas. I nearly lost you. It was a dammed miracle that you came back to me. And now you want to join a gang whose motto is, 'don't fuck with us or else we'll blind youse'? Has it ever occurred to you that I have no idea what to do if there is no you?!"

Thomas sits there, petrified to say anything as she weeps. This whole pregnant this is still a shock to him, Cleo cries at everything. She overthinks way too much. Who the fuck said I was going anywhere?

He pulls in through the water and leaves no space between him and Cleo. He tilts her chin up, "I'm not going anywhere, ey?"

"You don't understand how much you mean to me..." She struggles to say, crying helplessly. She clings onto those words, wishing they'd wrap around his head before it's too late.

"Cleo, look at me,"

She does, wide-eyed and sad.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby, alright?"

She doesn't nod, doesn't frown. His eyes shine as he leans down and kisses her gently. Cleo feels herself responding automatically. She latches onto his body, matching her kisses with his. He grabs both sides of her head and kisses her deeply, devouring his mouth with hers. The atmosphere of the bathroom changes, from a rage and arguing, to pure sex.

Cleo gets on her knees as Tommy grabs her hips, she slowly eases into him without another thought. She gasps into his mouth, as he groans, closing his eyes. Clasping the baths ledge, Cleo moves up and down, with the help of Tommy's hands.

"Ahhhhh." She rocks back and forth against his cock, he fills her up, and she can't help but cry out his name. Finally, Thomas kisses her breasts, biting on her nipples.

"Please!" She cries out, begging for more.

Thomas listens and meets her thrusts with his own. Matching hers, each time. She leans down, kissing him firmly. "I'm so close..." She pours into his mouth.

Thomas can feel himself getting higher and higher. He grabs a handful of her hair and pulls, tilting her head back. Thomas kisses her neck, licking her, nibbling on her skin.

"Come for me..." He taunts, biting on her earlobe. "Come on baby,"

He tightens, as she freezes, and he continues. Thrusting harder and faster into her. Thomas doesn't stop as she obviously reaches her climax. But he realizes he should have because once he comes inside of her, she falls backwards and he has to catch her from falling.

"Oh my..." Her eyes open and she smiles all lopsided. "I don't think I can get out of this tub."

He chuckles, unplugging the sink. "I think you're due for a nap,"

She nods. "Good idea."

He carries his wife to their bed and tucks her in. She falls asleep instantly, sex is amazing, but with her being pregnant she wears out pretty easily. Thomas watches her sleep, smiling at her beauty. Her innocence.

"Hey," He whispers into her ear, coming out her hair. "I won't do it if you want to me okay? I love you."

[honestsycrets]

NSFW Alphabet || Bjorn Ironside

A = Aftercare 

“We can spend it in bed.” He shifts in his chair, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “It’s my only rest.” 

Quiet. Bjorn is known to stroke along your back or waist, drawing your body closer on top of his. Lazy conversations and staring off while you both talk about your future with one another.

B = Body part 

"Your legs.” 

He has a love of legs and round hips. His hands always seem to end up somewhere between your inner thighs. When he’s jealous, he might slip his hands around your hips to claim whats his in front of anyone else.

C = Cum 

“In you is good. On you is better.” 

His absolute favourite is pulling his dick from your clenching cunt, jerking his cock off over your round cheeks and cumming over them. Sure, he loves pounding you full too, but he’s a fan of facials as well. It makes him feel, well, powerful.

D = Dirty Secret 

“Someone small.” He takes his pick of a lot of slave. “Tiny enough that I can ravage her properly.”

Size difference is one of his favourite dirty little kinks. He enjoys finding women smaller than him and plucking them up over his large shoulders, walking off to ravage them in small areas that aren’t at all private. Because well, he’s Bjorn Ironside. Who is going to bother him?

E = Experience 

“I’ve been around.” 

He’s been around a long, long time. He’s learned a great many things in his travels. So if you can show him something new, his lips might curl into a curious smile as he lets you take control.

F = Favourite Position 

“Let me see it, yes-- fuck.”

Anywhere that he can see your body taking him in perfectly. Whether that is pounding you from behind, letting you ride him or bizarre positions that you suggest, he’s willing to give it a go. Just as long as he can watch.

G = Goofy 

“Be goofy with your children.” He snorts. “Not in our bed.”

No, he’s not. The only place in which Bjorn is goofy is with his children. He’s intent on keeping it that way.

H = Hair 

“Are you insulting me?”

He’s groomed, damn it! He’s a Viking, he isn’t about to go looking like something as disgusting as a Saxon.  When he is busy, he is known to get a little fuzzy-- in which you’ll have to bother him about cleaning up. 

I = Intimacy 

“If its safe.” He mutters under his breath. I love you’s? Those were in short supply.

It depends on whom with. If you’re a fuck buddy, of which he has many, he’s not prone to be too romantic. If you are a wife, well, sometimes he does tend to get a little mushy. It’s a secret you’ll have to keep for him.

J = Jack Off 

He’s been spoiled on tons of women-- but, when he needs to jerk off, he does it in front of a warm flame exploring his body. Trailing over his shaft and massaging his balls, jerking until he’s caught. And then, well, he just keeps going.

K = Kink 

“Where do we start?” He has so many.

As a man who has always had the heavy burden of the crown over his head, he has a preference for throne sex. The power is intoxicating-- and there’s nothing like having his little wife crawling on all fours to him.

L = Location 

“Do you want to see if Ivar will watch again?”

As a man with a exhibitionism kink, he’ll often try to get you somewhere semi-public. It’s a show of his conquest, sure. But more than that, it pleases him to make everyone know that you’ve been well pleased.

M = Motivation 

“Who needs motivation for sex?” His face screws, rationalizing the ridiculous question you just asked. “It’s sex!”

Sex is pretty basic for him, he doesn’t need much motivation. He has stress, he sees something tasty, well, he’s going to go after it. 

N = NO 

Being the proper Viking that he is, he isn’t a fan of pegging. If he’s going to have sex, he wants to do it on his fucking terms or not at all. Besides, that’s a position for bitches.

O = Oral 

“Spread them and see.” He leans over, sliding his hand in the line that forms your legs tightly pressed against one another.

The best way to keep a woman is to eat a woman. His dick wouldn’t mind some loving too, though. 

P = Pace 

“I can slow down-- as long as we don’t stop.”

On average, Bjorn is a man who likes his sex fast and hard. If something is emotional for him, sure, he’ll go for some slower sex. But if its not... well, don’t expect him to slow down a whole bunch. 

Q = Quickie 

“I enjoy them.” Bjorn folds his arms. “We can see how quickly we can fuck before the children come inside.”

There is no issue here for him. He likes long sex like any other man. But any man knows the desperation, the heat and mesh of two bodies makes him excited. Especially when its with a beautiful woman.

R = Risk 

“Is there something you want to try?” He asks, studiously considering you.

He’s listening to your requests. Bjorn has always been a man that is open to different sexual acts. Though, if its too weird, he might make a face at you. Be ware the face.

S = Stamina 

“Until you’re well pleasured. Well fucked. Well loved.”

The one that won’t stop going.

T = Toy 

“What toy?” Bjorn sneers. “What is that shit?”

No. He has this preconception that more sex toys means less time on his dick. Less dick time? Not happening. He’s your fucking sex toy, so get to using him for it. 

U = Unfair 

“I don’t have the patience for teasing.” Bjorn states-- but everyone. Everyone knows that he does love a woman who makes him wait to be ravaged.

Not at all a tease. Bjorn tends to be a man that wants to rip open his gifts right away. Both of women and things that you might get him. Though, he’s known to love a good chase.

V = Volume 

“Not much.” He rumbles under his breath. Making noise-- that’s for women.

Bjorn makes little noise. He speaks when he needs to speak, but usually he is filled with short grunts and deep growling moans until he cums one way or another.

W = Wild Card 

“If I could have it all?” His lips spread, curiously reasoning to himself the ambitions of his father. To have Aslaug-- and more importantly, his mother. “I would.”

With his love for women, Bjorn most undoubtedly could end up with a harem. He does have a love for women and a prick that doesn’t discriminate all that much. But, if not, he does enjoy breeding oversees and leaving a host of children behind.

X = X-Ray 

He grins.

Whether he takes after Ragnar or Rollo, he’s well endowed. Thick and proportionate to his big size. Obviously his prick has gotten a lot of love over the years-- more than any of his brothers by far!

Y = Yearning 

“I can’t make any promises.” He hums. “If you don’t come with me.”

High. He has needs to be met all the time. The more that his needs are met, the more he needs it. He’s like his father, though. He can go just a few days before needing some more.

Z = ZZZ 

Like his father before him, Bjorn is a man who stays awake in his thoughts. 

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[recurring-polynya]

I mentioned recently that one of my 2020 New Year’s resolutions was to watch a kdrama, and it is In Progress. We have started watching Goblin aka Guardian: the Lonely and Great God. @gizkasparadise wanted updates, so I decided you’re all going on this journey along with me.

You can watch it for free on Viki Rakuten. We have a Roku, and we were just able to add it as a channel. It has commercials, and I think they are inserted automatically, just like in the middle of a scene or something, so that’s pretty annoying. At least when it comes back, it rewinds about 10 seconds so you can remember where you were. Oh, well, it’s free. There are 16 episodes and 3 specials, which range between an hour and an hour and a half.

Cut for S P O I L E R S

Episode 1

What has happened so far:

Kim Shin is a badass general who kills a million dudes with his sword, it is very cool. He gets home from this terrible battle and the king (who has an evil vizier whispering in his ear) accuses him of being a traitor, even though it’s obvious that he’s very loyal, and the king kills his family in front of him and then has him killed (the king is nice enough to let Kim Shin’s army bestie do it for him). We are presumably going to get more background why this all happened in the future flashbacks, I will be pissed otherwise. The people are really upset and pray a lot, and between that and the fact that Kim Shin killed just… so many people, he comes back as a goblin, a guardian spirit who wrecks assholes. Like the Incredible Hulk, he’s cursed to wander the earth until he meets his bride who will… pull his sword out of the ground? Pull the sword out of him? I was unclear on that part.

Time jump! Shin is wandering around town and he sees the Grim Reaper, Wang Yeo. I guess they are professional acquaintances or something. Shin immediately roasts Yeo’s hat.

A young pregnant woman is hit by a car, and prays for help, and Kim Shin takes time out of his busy pop-drinking schedule to go talk to her. He is moved by the fact that she wants her baby to live, and breaks his usual policy of not messing around with human life and death and saves her. After she gets taken to the hospital, Wang Yeo shows up and there are no souls to take and he’s like “wtf.” This is important later.

The baby grows up and can see ghosts. Her mom dies and Wang Yeo shows up and tries to take her as well, but the old grocery lady her mom was friends with pulls some bureaucracy on him and he leaves, pissed. (This show is hard to recap because so many tiny things happen that are important later!) The girl, whose name is Eun Tak, gets sent to live with relatives.

Time jump again! Eun Tak is now a teen! She doesn’t really have friends at school and ghosts pester her all the time. Her mean relatives are mean to her, so she goes out to eat her birthday cake alone on a jetty in the rain (BIG MOOD). She breaks her usual policy of not making wishes by making a birthday wish for a part-time job, a better life, and a boyfriend and accidentally… summons Kim Shin. He is like “wtf?” She is like “wtf?” She roasts him. He leaves.

I forgot! Kim Shin has this family of servants who take care of his house for him when he goes out to look for his bride. The grandfather of the family is getting too old, and has passed this responsibility to his trash grandson. Kim Shin gets home, and the grandson, Deok Hwa, is like, “oh, I didn’t know you were coming back so soon, I rented your house out” and OH NO, he has rented the house to Wang Yeo. Shit, fam.

Some other stuff happens. Eun Tak figures out that she can summon Kim Shin by blowing out candles. She figures out that he is a Goblin (which he denies) and deducts that she might be a Goblin Bride on the basis that ghosts call her “Goblin Bride” all the time (he denies this, also). He is tired of her and walks out a door and goes to Canada. She follows him. She is so flabbergasted to be in Canada that she decides she is in love with him. END EPISODE 1.

Thoughts:

Kim Shin has huge Christopher Lambert Highlander vibes. I don’t know if it’s his collection of 90’s sweaters (this came out in 2016!), or just his general demeanor. He was super hot back when he was a general, but I am less impressed with him in the present, he’s kind of a dick. His floppy hair is so good, tho.

I love Wang Yeo, the Grim Reaper, so, so much. (Polynya, no one could have predicted this. No one.) I love his terrible hat. Seriously, it’s real bad. I love his horrible bedside manner. I love that he makes tea for dead people. I don’t think you’re supposed to love him. I love him.

I have been having a lot of ghost mom feelings lately (y’know thinking about dying and protecting your children against supernatural forces, these are normal feelings that everyone has, don’t at me), and I loved Ghost Mom. She was really cute and the old grocery lady was unnecessarily mean to her and it sucked that she got hit by a car twice. I assumed that it’s because she was supposed to die that way the first time, and it was just her fate catching up with her, but lady, learn to look both ways, seriously. I am guessing we are not going to see much more of her and I’m sad about that.

It’s like they really wanted Sarah McLachlan to do the soundtrack and she was busy or something. They even went to Canada at the end, I assumed that was why.

The roasts in this show are next level. “A teen drags mystical beings” is my favorite genre of fiction, and this is just ::chef’s kiss::, but the Kim Shin / Wang Yeo roommates sitch is obviously also going to be off the chain. Also, old magical grocery lady was brutal.

Eun Tak is a Perfect Teen. She cannot be reasoned with. She is absolutely feral. I am declaring her my precious daughter. Kim Shin is in so much trouble.

I read a lot of stories about immortal beings, and I wonder, often, if an immortal being would even be interested in a teen. Even without the legal ramifications, the very idea of dating a teen makes me so, so tired. Imagine being 400 years old, and falling in love with someone who constantly tries to explain TikTok to you. I guess maybe the idea is that they are so tired of existence that it’s refreshing to meet someone who doesn’t even know who Paul McCartney is.

Watching this show made me realize that “member of a clan of mortals who support an immortal being over many generations” is the ideal career path for me. I would be so good at setting up fake identities and maintaining different houses and knowing a bunch of lore and wearing cloaks. If you are an immortal being who is unhappy with your current family line of servants, feel free to slide into my DMs. I even have a son already who would also be aces at this. (no vampires, pls)

My darling spouse seemed kind of skeptical about the whole kdrama thing and I was worried I was going to have to watch this by myself, but he just wandered in and moaned, “I’m not sure I want to wait a whole week to watch another episode of Goblin…” so this experiment is going pretty good so far.

[imagines-mha]

Fluff alphabet, M,L,K,I,S,U,T,V, and H for Narita, Kinoshita, and Ennoshita please! You can chose who gets what! I love my forgotten boys!

OH MY GOD I CAN’T THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THIS REQUEST. My babIES. The CHILDREN.

Fr tho if narita, kinoshita or ennoshita are your favourites in haikyuu then 👌🏻👌🏻 u supreme 2 tha rest and ily most 💕💫😤

Ennoshita

M = Marriage(Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

Ennoshita? Marriage? It’s the boy’s dream. He wants a traditional wedding- one with the classic black and white theme. Not too big of a ceremony but not small either- just perfect size for him. Overall marriage is something high up in his life goals- and you are right up there next to it, underlined in red pen with hearts around your name awwwww

U = Unique(What makes them unique as a s/o?)

Something unique about him is that he can be a little bit bossy at times. But fear not bro!! it’s only because he loves you- so if he’s nagging at you to do homework or go to bed earlier he’s NOT just being a dick- it’s in his future-captain nature to sound bossy but to mean well don’t worry bro it all out of love 😎👌🏻

V = Vulnerable(How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

It takes a while for him to really open up about his past and insecurities to you. The last thing he wants is his s/o seeing his weaknesses- but he soon realises that love is built upon acceptance and unconditional positive regard, and confides in you. He learns to love his vulnerability, because he knows he always has you to cheer him up when he feels lost

Kinoshita

H = Hugs(Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

OH MY GOD. He takes clingy to another level AND IT’S ADORABLE. He just loves being able to feel your presence and nothing makes him feel more secure than a hug from you. Loves those spinny hugs where he can really just sweep you off your feet and kiss you wow u better give him so many smooches bro

K = Kiss(Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

Yes!!! He is an amazing kisser!! Little smol kisses that are shared with giggles and hand-holding!!! Eskimo kisses!! Kisses all the time he LOVES kisses!!! His lips are soft and sweet and he was just born for sweet little kisses trust me bro

S = Sleep(How do they sleep with their s/o?)

Do you love cuddles?? Do you love adorable boys who love snuggling up to you???

WELL YOU’RE IN LUCK!!!!!

kinoshita is the most adorable sleeper. He’ll bury his head into the crook of your neck, sling his arms around you and nuzzle his floofy hair into you until he falls asleep. He snores lightly and it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever heard protect my baby i beg of u

Narita

I = Intimacy(How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

This boy. Is. Prince charming y’all. He may seem chill and cheery on the court, but oh my god in a relationship?? It’s magical. He’ll be your best friend AND your boyfriend, and no matter what he’ll make you swoon- either by cheesy gestures or romantic one-liners- he has it all up his sleeve

L = Love(When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

He says i love you when both of you are ready. He’ll wait until the atmosphere feels right, and until he feels he’s in a romantic movie and is 100% sure you feel the same: then he’ll softly tell you. After that it’s a one-way lane bro- he says it ALL the time, but prefers showing it through adorable gestures (especially HAND KISSES)

T = Trust(How much do they trust their s/o?)

He trusts you a hell of a lot. He’s a pretty calm boy, and he doesn’t feel the need to hide much stuff around the person he devotes himself to. If he has smth going on, he’ll tell you about it. If there’s karasuno drama™️, you’ll be the first 2 kno. As i said he’s a boyfriend and a bff all in one so in conclusion he’s perfect and we should all die for him.