#i mean prime would not have worked with a big cast

[ijusthavesomanyblorbos]

can we take a moment to talk about the straight up hilarity of tf prime's setting

i gotta be honest i have no idea what the deal is with the vehicons. i dunno if they're canonically sentient or not but for all intents and purposes their only real role is cannon fodder, so they're basically like... megatron's little roombas. except instead of vacuuming they do crimes.

but ASIDE from that. guys. prime has such a small ass cast. and like they hype everything up so much and the stakes are supposedly so high. BUT THIS WAR IS LITERALLY JUST LIKE 10 GUYS. AT LEAST G1 HAD LIKE PLATOONS. BUT PRIME?? THERE'S NO ONE!! THEY'RE FIGHTING OVER A WHOLE PLANET WHEN THEY LITERALLY COULDN'T MAKE UP A SINGLE AMERICAN FOOTBALL TEAM!!!!!!!! I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS!!

[rubberduckyrye]

Okay DRV3 Fans Let's Talk about Canon Ages.

Because I woke up and my brain connected the dots, and because some of you are fucking weird about High-school students. So let's clear the air here--and let's just say they're probably over 18 years old.

In my Gonta rant (which yes I'm linking here, go read it) I call him a young adult. Some people are under the impression (like that anon I got last night) that the V3 cast is canonly 16 or younger due to... whatever the fuck reason. But! I am here to argue a counter point--that the V3 Cast is actually much older and are more college age than young highschoolers.

First of all, let's remember the fact that in all DR games, the cast has gone to high school for some amount of years before their memories are wiped. V3 Also has this feature, and it is within the canon story that these kids remember attending HPA.

Now whether or not you believe this to be true is irrelevant right now because I need you to remember that the backstory for these characters was that they were being hunted down by the Ultimate Hunt, which means they were Ultimate Students at HPA first. Then they had their memories wiped to go into hiding. Yada yada.

The important part actually comes from Kirumi, however. Kirumi is the character that proves that the V3 cast is older than 18 years old.

Remember this tidbit--where Kirumi was the maid of the Prime Minister? Well, when do you think she became the maid for the Prime Minister, do you think?

I have an answer for you.

This is the dialogue from Kaito's "My Future" cutscene from DR:S. The "My Future" Cutscenes take place at the end of the run with the character chosen, and DR:S takes place right at the end of their 3rd year of attending HPA.

Kirumi doesn't specify who she will be working for, but considering that this person is such a big deal what she felt the need to consult Kaito about it, to help her sort out her feelings, I think we can all agree this is heavily referencing V3's plot where she is the Prime Minister's Maid.

This means that Kirumi only took the job as the Prime Minister's Maid at the very end of high school.

That means that by the time V3 runs around, she's well out of high school.

Now you can argue that V3 and DR:S aren't in the same canon--and you'd be right! I would never consider them to be canon to one another. However, this scene shows that in DRV3 and in DR:S, the intention for Kirumi to have been the Prime Minister's maid started at the very tail end of her time in high school. Same character, same backstory, different situation.

Meaning by that logic, Kirumi--as well as her other classmates--are over 18 years old in V3.

They are young adults.

[markantonys]

I truly think WoT is a well written, well acted show but you never see praise for it like that from most of the fandom (unless I'm following the wrong people). You see people praising GoT and HoTD like it's the best thing ever when I'm bored most of the time. Never anything similar said for WoT. I hope it does make it big in following seasons and gets more appreciation cause I truly think the show is underrated

i haven't seen GOT or HOTD so i can't speak to any comparisons there, but i agree that WOT is underrated! it feels like most of the viewership is either casuals who aren't Online About It and hardcore book fans who spend all their energy discussing book vs. show topics - not always in a negative way, i'm also including in here the show-positive discussions about improvements on the books or speculation for future seasons, but even these discussions are so rooted in book vs. show land that not a lot of people stop to discuss the show in a vacuum. it's often about "how is it similar to and different from the books?" and rarely about appreciating the show as its own standalone work.

which i think could be a difference with GOT and HOTD, they probably have a larger number of hardcore show-only fans who are Online About It discussing show-only things in detail such as writing and acting, whereas in my personal experience, WOT online fandom spaces are VERY dominated by book fans and they aren't talking as much about show-only things, or when they do, it's just to mistake "i personally don't like this change from the books" for "this is objectively bad writing and everybody who has ever watched the show agrees that the writing of the entire show is bad" lmao WOT reader fandom spaces have a reeeeaaaally skewed sense of the quality of the show's writing because they can't let go of their "similar to the books=good writing, different from the books=bad writing" baggage and also because they struggle to understand that good writing For TV is often very different from good writing For Books.

there's definitely also at play the societal tendency to praise miseryporn and characters who are terrible people as the creme de la creme of writing and acting. WOT has trauma and misery, but doesn't revel in it in a gratuitous way, and it has very flawed and complex characters, but the protagonists are all ultimately good people. it's a hopeful and uplifting story at its core and a story that wholeheartedly embraces its fantastical elements and wants to bring a sense of fun and escapism to viewers alongside the deep emotional stuff, and those are rarely taken as seriously as gritty cynical stories. hence, WOT is not viewed as a ~serious~ show worthy of having its acting & writing praised in the same way that GOT and HOTD are.

but WOT does do pretty good viewership numbers despite being kinda under the radar in the cultural consciousness, i think. i could see it gaining more attention in upcoming seasons as we enter the territory of the books that most people agree is the best portion of the series, and if they are finally able to do a proper promo cycle for s3 and beyond. from what i've seen, prime shows are never anywhere close to the level of promo netflix shows do (which is TOO much in some cases, rip to the poor bridgerton cast having to do about five thousand hours of interviews for s3), but WOT s1 came out during the covid zoom interview era and s2 came out during the strikes, so it's not hard to imagine that those 2 promo cycles might've been unusually low even for prime's standards and s3 might have a bit more. we shall see!

but at the end of the day, it's also kinda nice keeping wotshow as a hidden gem because greater online fandom attention would also mean an increase in insufferable takes haha i often find that smaller fandoms are a much more pleasant atmosphere than bigger ones!

[hyperactively-me]

hi!!

i love your work with king ghost and i was wondering if you could potentially write a future wedding scene for the two, as i know that the main character wasnt happy with how it went and now that they’re all lovey dovey maybe they could recreate the wedding but ensure that they are both happy with how it goes?

xoxo

i was honestly super self indulgent in this. i’m not ashamed. also i'm pretty proud of this. peace and love!

You sit across from Simon at the dinner table, the soft glow of candles casting shadows on the walls. The clink of silverware against porcelain creates an ambience, but there’s something weighing heavy on your mind. 

Reminiscing on the past few months of your relationship with Simon was like a shot of espresso to your system. After falling irrevocably in love with each other, there was a slight gnawing sensation at your heart. You were brought back to your wedding day. God, you despised that day. Thinking about it now made your heart ache. You take a breath, the idea stirring in your mind like an impending rainstorm.

Finally, you break the silence. “Simon,” you start tentatively, “can we talk about something?”

He looks up from his plate, his eyes meeting yours with a mix of curiosity and concern. “Hm?”

“Let’s redo our wedding.”

He stops eating for a moment, fork hovering in the air.

“What?”

“Let’s redo our wedding,” you restate. “I mean, we both despised it, right?”

He sets his fork down. 

“It was too big, too forced,” you say carefully, studying his face for any reactions. 

Simon’s expression shifts from confusion to understanding, and then to a contemplative gaze. He absorbs your words, the weight of shared dissatisfaction settling between you like a fragile pact.

“You really think we should?” he asks, a flicker of hope in his eyes.

Nodding, you continue, “I want something that feels like us, not some show for people we barely know. I don’t want it to be a performance for others, like how it was originally.” You take a breath. “And, then, we weren’t in love,” you nearly whisper.

Simon’s heart clenches in his chest. 

He reaches across the table, his hand finding yours. “You’re right,” he admits. “What do you have in mind?”

A smile tugs at your lips as ideas race through your mind. 

. . .

As you both delve into planning, the anticipation of a redo makes your heart sing. You had dedicated most of your free time to coming up with plans, a guest list, a location, a cake, and of course, a dress. The prospect of another wedding becomes more than just a contract agreement; it’s a renewal of your love for each other.

The biggest topic weighing on your mind, though, was writing your vows. You wanted something simple, yet meaningful, pulling elements of your relationship with Simon that resonates with your relationship. 

The days leading up to the wedding redo were a whirlwind of excitement and anticipation. Together, you and Simon poured over every detail, making sure that this time, it truly reflected a union of love. The guest list was trimmed down to include only those who held a special place in your hearts. Your siblings had been invited, prime guests. You had also invited your tutors, a few guards and maids you had become friendly with, some fellow noble people you had grown up with who you had shared fond memories with. Simon had also invited friends, namely Soap, Price, Gaz, Alejandro, and Rudy. The location was in the palace gardens, surrounded by your favorite flowers and billowy trees, a stark contrast to the grand chapel of your first wedding.

You had asked your eldest sibling to walk you down the aisle. You thought back to how you walked down the aisle alone in the chapel all those months ago. You shudder, but proud that you were still able to overcome it in the moment, no matter how scared you were at the time. 

Simon had, unbeknownst to you, fashioned you both new wedding rings. Kastron was widely known for its richly abundant silver mines, so much so that the economy would not function properly if something were to happen to the silver. He had fashioned himself a thick, simple silver band, and you a silver band with a fat diamond encrusted on it. Only the best, most beautiful ring for his beautiful wife. 

. . . 

As the date approached, you found yourself standing in front of a mirror, admiring the elegant dress you had chosen. It wasn’t something you were forced to wear, just a gown that made you feel like yourself. It was tailored perfectly to your body, accentuating your frame in the most flattering manner. Your hair and makeup was what you wanted, not like some done-up cakey…thing, you were before. Your veil was long but not obnoxious, pearls strewn about the thin fabric, sewn to perfection. 

You looked perfect. The maids fluttering about you had cooed at you, complimenting how beautiful and perfect you look. You thank them warmly, your vision of your outfit becoming a reality thanks to them. 

Emerging from your room, you find your sibling waiting patiently in the hallway. As you step out, they rise to their feet, a smile blossoming on their face at the sight of you. 

“You look amazing!” they exclaim, giving you a tight hug. 

“Thank you,” you say warmly, fluffing out your dress. 

“Oh, by the way, here's your bouquet,” they offer the bouquet in their hands to you, and you accept it delicately from their grasp. It was crafted by one of your younger siblings, adding another personal touch to the wedding.

“Are you ready?” your sibling asks, bumping their shoulder against yours. 

“I’ve never been more ready in my life,” you smile, taking a deep breath. 

With the bouquet in hand, you make your way to the garden, the soft rustle of the veil and the delicate fragrance of the flowers creating a cocoon of joy around you. You peer out a window next to the doors to the garden. You see all of your loved ones outside, sitting in the rows of chairs set outside. Flowers adorned practically every square foot of the garden, ribbons fluttered gently in the wind, and streamers hung from the trees, creating a dreamy, white wedding. 

Your sibling holds their arm out for you, and you take it, squeezing them close against you. Arm in arm with your sibling, you take a moment to soak in the anticipation. The air is filled with a mixture of nerves and excitement, and the vibrant energy of the garden beckons you forward.

As you step through the doors, the soft melodies of a small orchestra fills the air. The garden is a vision of ethereal beauty. The sun casts a warm glow over the scene, and a hush falls over the small crowd. The guests turn to look, their expressions shifting from idle chatter to a quiet awe.

You catch Simon's eyes, and a warmth passes between you, an unspoken acknowledgment of the significance of this moment. Simon, adorned in his silver Kastron armor and numerous military awards, looked at you with a warmth in his eyes that spoke volumes. Tears immediately prick the corners of your eyes the moment you make eye contact with Simon. You take another deep breath, willing your emotions to stay at bay until the right moment. He’s standing under an arch of flowers where your vows will be exchanged. His face lights up with a mixture of relief and admiration as he sees you. The love in his eyes reassures you that this moment is everything you both hoped for.

Walking down the aisle, you feel every step, every beat of your heart echoing in the air. The fragrance of flowers envelops you, and the sounds of nature seem to harmonize with the melodies playing softly in the background.

Reaching the top, you share a tender moment with Simon as he extends his hand to you, guiding you to stand in front of him, and your sibling takes their place among the other attendees. The officiant begins the ceremony, weaving words that echo the journey of love. Simon doesn’t take his eyes off you once, studying every inch of your face. Now, to exchange the vows. The part you were most excited for. You clear your throat. 

“Simon, from this day forward, I promise to laugh with you in joy, comfort you in sorrow, and cherish our moments together. I vow to be your partner in all things, stand by your side with love and unwavering support. With you, I've found my home, my heart, and my forever. Today, I choose you, and every day after, I will choose us.” You flash a teary smile, grasping onto Simon’s hands. He’s just staring at you, completely and utterly infatuated with you. He’s so in love. 

“And, for the groom,” the officiant says, nudging Simon out of his trance. Simon stands up straighter and clears his throat. 

"My dove, today and always, I promise to stand by you. I promise to support your dreams, celebrate your triumphs, and navigate life's challenges together.” He pauses suddenly, swallowing thickly. You squeeze his hands tighter, smiling at him encouragingly. He takes a breath and resumes, “I choose you as my partner, my confidant, and my queen. With you, every day is an adventure, and I eagerly look forward to a lifetime of love and happiness."

You can’t stop the stray tear that falls down your cheek. Simon swipes the pad of his finger over your cheek, smiling softly at you. 

The officiant smiles warmly before continuing. “Now, as a symbol of your commitment to each other, you will exchange rings.”

Simon takes a step back, retrieving a small box from the officiant. Opening it, he reveals two gleaming silver rings nestled inside. You marvel at the simplicity and elegance of the bands, symbols of a promise that transcends words. 

“Made ‘em myself,” he whispers to you, watching you marvel at the diamond on your ring.

“They’re absolutely stunning, Si,” you whisper back, tracing your finger over the diamond. 

Simon gently takes your hand, his touch sending shivers down your spine. As he slides the ring onto your finger, he meets your gaze with an intensity that speaks volumes. The cool silver warms against your skin, a tangible reminder of this sacred moment. 

You reach for the box now, fingers trembling with emotion. With a heartfelt smile, you look into Simon's eyes as you slip the ring onto his finger. The circle completes, a symbol of unending love and commitment.

The officiant continues, “By the power vested in me and the love that you've declared today, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may seal your vows with a kiss.”

Simon's eyes light up, and he cups your face gently, brushing your hair out of your face before drawing you into a deep kiss. He wraps his arms around your torso, leaning you back into a dip as he kisses you, pulling a small giggle from you as he dips you. Your arms reach around Simon’s neck, pulling him into you with a smile. 

The cheers and applause from your loved ones surround you, but in this moment, it feels like time has paused, and it's just the two of you, lost in your love.

As you break the kiss, you find that your cheeks ache from smiling. Simon brushes away the tear that lingers on your cheek, and you share a tender gaze that says more than words ever could.

“I love you,” you whisper in his ear, pressing onto your tiptoes. Simon pulls you closer to him, 

his arms wrapping around you in a warm embrace. “I love you, too,” he whispers back, nuzzling his cheek against yours.

The ceremony concludes with cheers and applause, and you and Simon walk hand in hand, now officially united. The garden, adorned with love and laughter, fills you with nothing but pure bliss. 

The reception is a whirlwind of joy and celebration, filled with toasts, dancing, and the laughter of family and friends. In the midst of it all, you steal moments with Simon, your happiness never once diminishing for the rest of the day. 

As the night arrives and the stars emerge in the sky, you find yourselves alone for a moment. The garden had now been decorated with lanterns and candles, filling the night sky with a gentle orange glow. Simon pulls you into an embrace, and under the moonlight, you both marvel at the beauty of the day. 

“This day was nothing but perfect, dove,” Simon drawls, rubbing his hand up and down your back soothingly.

“I know,” you sigh contentedly. “I’m so happy, Si. I can’t even begin to explain how happy I am.” 

Simon pulls you against him tighter, his warmth enveloping you like a protective shield.

“I'm happy too, darling,” Simon murmurs, his voice a melodic reassurance.

As you both sway gently under the lantern-lit sky, the world outside your embrace seems to fade away. The lanterns overhead cast a dreamy glow, and the night seems to hold its breath, savoring your love.

“I love you, Simon,” you whisper, your words a promise that lingers in the air.

“I love you, too,” he replies, his voice a gentle echo.

- - - - -

(masterlist)

[saintsenara]

I’m curious why you loathe the implication that wizards are immune to muggle diseases. Is it because it reinforces the idea that they aren’t really the same species as muggles?

thank you very much for the ask, @urupotter!

and the answer is - yes, pretty much.

how the body is understood, how illness and disability are thought about, how the medical system works etc. are all questions that i am primed to obsess over in any piece of media - even when they're not actually significant parts of the story.

which is to say, i completely understand the reason why the harry potter series treats these topics in the way it does. magical medicine isn't one of the themes the story is designed to focus on - which means that its purpose is as incidental worldbuilding detail which reinforces the whimsical vibe of the earlier books and the darker vibe of the later ones, and which means that its treatment in the text makes sense within the setting and genre conventions of canon. harry being able to take a bludger - a cast-iron cannonball moving at speed - to the head and living to tell the tale is the same as john wick being able to fall from a great height, land on his back, and then get up and walk around: he's an action hero in a fantasy.

and so wizards being more physically durable than muggles - and also wizards having their own magical diseases, and being immune to muggle ones - all makes sense within the context of the books as literature. kids don't want to read about harry having a cold. they want to read about him being a wizard.

but when i'm deciding to enjoy myself by taking the question of just how fucked-up wizarding society is much more seriously than canon does... the implication that wizards are immune to muggle diseases and that they are broadly unaffected by physical trauma unless that trauma has a magical cause really bothers me. entirely - as you say - because it directly undermines the series' thesis that the purity of magical blood is irrelevant and that the wizarding world's dehumanisation of muggles and muggleborns by treating them as, essentially, separate, lower species is wrong.

the main canon example of this which i detest is dumbledore's suggestion in half-blood prince that merope gaunt could have survived childbirth if she'd simply "raised her wand to save her own life". after all, if a little bit of magic makes one immune to experiencing complications during childbirth [unlike thousands upon thousands of muggles throughout history, who would probably have very much liked to have lived to see their children grow up]... then voldemort is completely justified in thinking merope's death was a selfish, shameful, deliberate choice.

[i do understand that the idea merope chose to die is primarily included in the text so dumbledore can segue into saying that lily "had a choice too", contributing to the gradual reveal in half-blood prince and deathly hallows that she's the key to the whole mystery. but i still think that jkr could maybe have though a little bit harder about what she was suggesting with this than she evidently did...]

and so i think in fandom it's both fun and important not to accept the idea that wizards are automatically resistant to anything which might kill, injure, or disable a muggle - especially because it lets us really play with some of the big worldbuilding questions surrounding the conventions and institutions of wizarding society.

what do disability rights look like in a world which is so rabidly intolerant of difference, and which appears not to have any sort of welfare state? the nhs is a recent invention, created in a muggle britain which is culturally and institutionally separate from the wizarding one: so is treatment at st mungo's free - and, if not, what happens to those who can't pay? how is queerness understood in a society which appears to have views on sexual expression which are fairly conservative - and how does this mean the wizarding state responded to the aids crisis? what do reproductive rights look like in this kind of society? if the dementor's kiss results in - essentially - a vegetative state, what is done with the people the kiss has been performed on? what might it be like for your relative to develop dementia at 100... when you know they might live to 250? what impact do biases about blood status have on how muggleborn patients are treated?

i just think it's interesting!

[xviiper-rents-houses]

Actually yeah, can we see platonic headcanons for both Yandere Sonic and Scourge?

sometimes friendship can be equally as terrifying.

Platonic Yandere Scourge and Sonic

For sizzle Anon! Any kind of a relationship with a yandere, platonic or romantic, can be terrifying! I decided to do separate headcanons for each hedgehog, lemme know whatcha think! (I might have even included a bonus! 👀). Also, good to cya back Anon :D Thank you for requesting some more. We definitely do need more platonic yandere content, it's an underrated subject for sure :0

TW: Typical yandere tendencies: obsession, possessiveness, controlling and manipulative behavior. This is talked about in mild detail. This headcanon mentions the following: intent to kill, general violence, violation of boundaries ( by this I mean that you have established that you don't want your privacy invaded but it still is), stalking and overall, disregard for the reader's feelings. I do not condone yandere actions in real life. Do not repeat these characters' actions and seek help if you feel you are.

Reblogs, likes and comments are welcomed! Please enjoy, yandere Sonic and Scourge. Also, I'm so sorry for taking forever, Anon! We all know and love that stinking writer's block, don't we?

Sonic and Scourge are polar opposites; Sonic being the original and Scourge, an evil recolor of the famous hedgehog. However, there is one thing that they can agree on, even if they don't interact with each other as much: you are their best friend. And they'll do anything for a companion such as yourself. Anything.

Scourge was quick when he conquered Moebius. While his sweet ol' papa kept the world at peace, he ignored the major underlying issue that would set Anti-Mobius on its path, forever. His son. Anti-Sonic felt neglected by his father, powerless. All his daddy focused on was ruling the kingdom, keeping "peace," and heaven forbid Anti-Sonic ever went to his dad to talk or spend quality time because all Anti-Sonic ever was to his father was an item, a replacement in case all things went wrong and an example of the King's generosity and "genuine" connection to the people. He had no time to spare for a little child like Anti-Sonic.

So it was no surprise that Scourge became the hedgehog he is today, a byproduct of his father's blatant neglect. He was damn fast with taking over the kingdom his dad worked hard to create, killing the old man and casting him away into a cold casket, just as he cast his son out of the throne room. Deadly karma. Anti-Sonic would work hard to destroy any peace his dad worked to preserve. Anti-Sonic then focused on building himself up, branding from the lame-o' Anti-Sonic to Scourge. A real kicker and big baddie. But Scourge is still so insecure. With no validation from his father, he felt like he had to force it out of everyone he met. But you? When he met you, everything changed. Scourge used the same tactic he used to collect his friends, power and the planet. You flipped his world upside down when you treated him decently. Even fed into his ego. He had to keep you by his side.

Scourge wanted a friend like that to stay with him. Forever. It came to the point when his want was more of a need. Scourge would do anything to keep you. Even if it meant severing the bond and breaking you into submission. So what if you didn't want to be friends with Scourge anymore? Okay, not a problem. For Scourge. As for you, you'll have to come around eventually! Scourge is not bullying you, he's just correcting you, albeit harshly. And he thought that you could see all the sides of a coin! How could you be so heartless? No matter how many times you run from your best friend, (your personal tormentor), Scourge will go to all lengths just to take you back. Including murder, being the top option on a silver platter. (Though he wouldn't dare murder someone so fast because he needs to be known).

Anyone who tried to help you escape from him is marked as a prime punching bag, a brand new sparring toy for Scourge to smack down over and over. Any personal friendships you have, need to be kept a secret from your obsessive, BEST friend, lest he find them and unleash hellfire. Scourge is controlling in the "friendship" you have with him. He fully believes that he is the only friend that you've got and the only one that you actually need. However, Scourge gets to have as many friends as he wants to. His need to be acknowledged overpowers any sense of kindness or genuine respect he has for you. Scourge has to take the majority of the spotlight, only giving you some of it just because he feels like it. Scourge is no companion, he is your captor.

Sonic the renowned hero of Mobius, saving the planet from invasion time and time again. The go-to guy if you're needing someone super fly, ready for the all-time high. He's the fastest hedgehog known all around! Almost everyone knows who he is, like Silver the hedgehog from the future and of course, Rob-of-Hedge from his hidden lands. Sonic's been around to do it all, had his best friends, (and even his girlfriends from the past and present) support him through his journey to heroics and finally, his family. Who are we kiddin'? Sonic's friends are also his family! And he loves his family. He would do anything for his friends and family. Anything.

Don't get him wrong, Sonic's all for a little rough and tumble, especially on his seventeenth birthday where Dr. Eggman surprised him with a robotic attack, but he's seen the dangers of fighting. And what it can do to the people you love the most— his dad, a living robot, his friend, Bunnie D'Coolette and so many more. And you, his best friend, every day get-it-going pal, Sonic doesn't want to see you hurt. You happen to be fighting one of Egghead's newest badnicks? Oh you betcha Sonic's zooming in to take the majority of the punches, fighting your battles for you. And you choose to confront him about it? No, listen, you're wrong. Sonic's trying to protect you—clearly you can't see that! That's fine, really it is, take all the time you need, Sonic doesn't have a limit at all. (Flat out lies, though Sonic hates to admit it).

He is constantly checking in on you, to the point where you don't get to have your own privacy because Sonic's made it a point to set up his sleeping space in your room. His excuse? A forever sleepover. Only the dynamic duo allowed— no additives. You kick him out? Okay, two can play at that game. He'll make sure it's difficult to get into his place because, well, you kicked him out! It's not fair that you did that, really. You're being unkind and just a jerk. Sonic will manipulate you into believing this, just so he can control what you do and how you do it. He will even control which of his friends you interact with, just so he can keep tabs on you. Sonic's not above stalking, even when you point out how uncomfortable it makes you. When it comes to your safety, he does not care if he's being overbearing. Sonic doesn't care if he's limiting you from seeing other people—you're not gonna get hurt, ever.

Sonic's gotta lot of unchecked and uncared for trauma that worms its way into your friendship, ruining it in the process. As mentioned before, he gets into your business when he clearly doesn't need to. Sonic overtime, grows frantic, speedy mind running itself into a tizzy all because you got punched square in the face by an unexpected badnick and Sonic wasn't there to block it. Or the time that you went out for a simple walk because, you felt cramped up inside. He often oversteps the boundaries that you set because, and quite frankly, he doesn't care about how you feel. He cares that he can protect his best friend from the worst things in the world, unknowingly being the exact thing he is fighting against. You're not going to get rid of Sonic anytime soon.

In conclusion, Sonic and Scourge would both be very obsessed over you. They would both be controlling, Sonic out of trying to protect you and Scourge to keep you close to him. Any other friendships that you have are at major risk with either of these hedgehogs in your life because, they will stop at nothing to keep you "safe" and that all your precious attention is on them.

If Sonic and Scourge were to meet up ever again, especially with you in the equation, they would most definitely clash heads. Fights between the two wouldn't be all smiles anymore—lucky you— it's a blood bath. Punches are not held back and using weapons in fights is not out of the question anymore. It's kill or be killed when it comes to your attention. Scourge, as much as he likes the attention he gets from Sonic, will do everything he can to kill Sonic.

Forget Sonic. He's the better hedgehog anyway, so having that blue moronic bastard out the way is a welcomed treat. Scourge doesn't care how many times he has to beat Sonic down to a pulp; he's gonna get you in the end and no one will ever get in the way of your friendship. Sonic will fight to the death if it means that you stay out of whatever hell Scourge is bringing with him. He disregards his heroic nature when it comes to Scourge, leaning in on his ego and experience. Sonic isn't shooting to defeat anymore. He's shooting to kill.

[maytheamazing]

Saw another "Keanu is a zionist" post with no supporting evidence or citing and this annoyed me so I'm making a post about it. To preface, this is all in good faith and to educate.

Zionism is, to be put simply, the belief that Israel has a right to make their own homeland, to create a "place for all jews" by clearing out the native population and culture. As Israel is committing a genocide, it is perfectly acceptable for those supporting Israel's genocide of the Palestinian people to be labeled a zionist.

Specifically we are going to be talking about Keanu Reeves and his involvement with the zionist company Paramount, who expressed their explicit support of Israel and has not issued another statement changing their stance as far as I am aware. I will also be adding film making information as needed.

To start off, we only know of two examples of Reeves interacting with people who have a connection to Israel. He has not stated his stance on any social or political movement, full stop. The first of two such instances is his weapons trainer for John Wick 2, who was hired by the producers specifically. And the second is his attending of a party in 2014 by producer Arnon Milchan, who you may know from movies like; Fight Club, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the Chipmunks sequels, and more. At this party Reeves was photographed speaking to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. [image description in alt]

This photo is the only information we have on this party and their interactions. Here is an article gossip mag MalibuTimes released on it. This article also goes to say that Benjamin Netanyahu and his wife made sure to interact with multiple actors- in fact the photo they used for this article is them posing with James Caan.

Seeing as this appears to be their only known interaction and Reeves has been photographed candid and not posed, it is a fair assumption to say they aren't friends catching up. On the film/actor side of things, parties like this are a fantastic way to network within the industry. Arnon Milchan is a well known name in producing movies with a long history and it would not be a smart move to decline or spur his invitation.

Now back to Paramount and Sonic 3, as is our main discussion. Paramount this last October in response to the Oct. 7th bombing announced that they stand with and support Israel.

As you should know by now, six months later, Israel has far gone past "defending itself" as some may claim it has a right to do, and firmly and undeniably into genocide. In this time Paramount has doubled down on their support, donating large sums of money to Israeli based charities and military. In their new Sonic spin off series, Knuckles, one of the human characters openly supports Israel and practices a form of martial arts invented by the Israeli armed forces.

When it comes to Sonic 3 and staff and cast involvement, a little more context is needed. Filmmaking takes a long time and a lot of hard work. The script needs to be written before the cast can audition and then rehearsals, prop design, set and location set up, rigging and prepping Sonic character stand ins for their CGI coverups, and more all need to be done before filming can ever start. According to Collider this last summer Sonic 3 was set to start filming in August of 2023; meaning that cast had been hired months before that. Contracts for movies from big studios like Paramount or Disney often include Non Disclosure Agreements so that staff members wont leak anything before its ready and/or a legally binding punishment should a leak happen. We only found out Reeves is playing Shadow the Hedgehog this last week, and filming has completed earlier this month according to ScreenRant who cited James Marsden for that confirmation. Meaning that Keanu has been done for a little while now, if he was only in booth voice acting rather than some combination of on set and in booth. Depending on the NDA the agreement can last for years, according to BrewerLog Attorney's Office the average amount of time a NDA lasts is 1-5 years and depends heavily on what is outlined and what information the business in question wants to be kept secret.

Reeves nor his PR team has yet (as of 4/28/24) to make any statement regarding his role of Shadow the Hedgehog in the upcoming film, but that's the norm for him. Keanu Reeves rather rarely does interviews or public outspeak; he doesn't even make a statement or announce when donating or setting up regular funding to charities in the past.

To wrap things up there simply isn't enough to say Keanu is a zionist. Circumstantial at best, and heavily assumptionist and bad faith at worst. If in the future there is confirmation that Keanu purposefully or willingly sides, supports, or is politically aligned with anything to do with Israel and their genocide of the Palestinian people and their destruction of Gaza Strip then I will absolutely change my tune here. But there's ACTUAL people who are vocal about their support of genocide who I see get no negative feedback. Jerry Seinfeld openly support and even donates to Israel- why say nothing about him? Or Gal Godou. I have literally seen zero posts about either of them.

TLDR; Keanu isn't a zionist, and explaining why

[scotianostra]

Happy Birthday Scottish actor Richard Madden born June 18th 1986 in Elderslie.

Richard was raised by his mother, Pat, a classroom assistant and his father, Richard, who worked for the fire service. He also has two sisters, Cara and Lauren.

His parents were “hippies”, he says, and their house was pretty open, with friends always piling in for big vegetarian meals. Madden spent a lot of time outside, in the woods behind their house. He has several injuries: he shows me where he shot his dad’s old air pistol and blew off part of his finger, then managed to wreck the same finger when he nailed a wooden plank to his skateboard, then crashed it, so apart from the Hippie parents it was much like most of our own days as bairns.

Despite growing up wanting to be an actor, Richard was very shy during his childhood. To overcome this, at age 11, he joined Paisley Arts Centre’s youth theatre program. In 1999 he was given the lead role as Sebastian Simpkins in BBC1’s children’s TV comedy series Barmy Aunt Boomerang, that’s him aged 12 in the first pic with co-star Toyah Wilcox.. By 2000, he’d made his feature film debut in the Iain Banks adaptation, Complicity.

After high school he was accepted to the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama in Glasgow, Scotland and in 2007, he graduated.

Less than two years later, Richard had a recurring role as Dean McKenzie on the 2009 BBC series Hope Springs. Soon after, he landed the role of Ripley in the 2010 movie Chatroom, a film about a group of teenagers who encourage each other’s bad behaviours after meeting online. In the same year, Richard played punk band Theatre of Hate singer Kirk Brandon in Worried About the Boy, a TV film about the life of British singer-songwriter Boy George.

In 2011 Richard landed his breakthrough role as Robb Stark in the HBO fantasy-drama series Game of Thrones. Also in 2011, he played gay paramedic Ashley Greenwick on the short-lived British comedy-drama Sirens. During hiatus from filming Game of Thrones in 2013, Richard was cast to star as Prince Charming in the 2015 Disney film Cinderella.

Richard won his first Screen Actors Guild award in 2014 for the Discovery Channel mini-series, Klondike. He played Bill Haskell, one of two adventurers who travel to Yukon, Canada during the Klondike Gold Rush in the 1890s. He further enhanced his reputation as a good actor when he appeared in the BBC drama Bodyguard in 2018, the following year he played Lieutenant Joseph Blake in the film 2017 and was Elton John’s manager/lover in the biop of the star Rocketman.

In January 2019 Madden won a prestigious Golden Globe for his role as war veteran David Budd in the BBC show Bodyguard. He also appeared in the 2019 war movie 1917.

We last saw Richard in the movie, Eternals, which was okay, but nothing great, he is one of several actors being touted as the next James Bond,

Last year Richard starred in the Amazon Prime series Citadel, I've watcheit and was not really impressed with it,I think he does pull of the American accent well, but I noticed there have been people saying he doesnt, Madden revealed he spoke in the accent for two years straight to prepare for the series. The show has been earmarked for a second series. Richard is set to appear in the feature film Killer Heat next, it is in post production.

In July 2019, Madden received an honorary doctorate from his alma mater, the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland. When asked about his personal life during a New York Times interview following speculation about his relationships and sexuality, Madden stated: “I just keep my personal life personal.”

Madden was recently named one of ‘Scotland’s Sexiest Men' following a new study that identifies the most attractive features for men, he has competition though, also in the running are Bathgate’s David Tennant and Glasgow’s James McAvoy,

Richard, quizzed on what he would like to do next he sad “I’d like to do something in comedy. It’s nice to not… I mean we go to work every day and we’re like, ‘You’re gonna die today,’” he said, adding that he wanted to “do something fun for a minute.”

[thepunkmuppet]

ok i just looked back through my blog and it looks like my big theory from way back last year has just… disappeared?? which i’m pretty annoyed about tbh, but i want to expand on it and update it anyway because the casting announcement and logo all validate it and make it a lot more interesting SO

my big magnus protocol theory and what i think the plot will be

so, this is a world completely without the Fears, until BAM. here they are. and with the arg, the encrypted messages and the glitchy aesthetic they seem to be going for, now further expanded on by the logo literally being a glitchy computer screen, i was thinking what if as the fears entered the universe, there was some kind of mass signal or energy surge.

imagine all the screens and electronics in the world suddenly go static, and a jumbled-up incomprehensible message (like the “statement remains” audio) can be heard everywhere, all around the world. and it goes on for around 20-30 minutes. and in those minutes, every single person in the world is fucking TERRIFIED. just frozen in absolute fear.

and of course this causes thousands and thousands of accidents and deaths and just generally terrifies everyone, so naturally every world government thinks it’s an attack of some kind. hence why we follow civil service workers, specifically those working for Incident Assessment and Response. this would be quite an incident!!

in these first few episodes following the signal, we also hear from the prime minister. and i originally thought it would be REALLY fun if the uk prime minister in this universe is the og Elias. i love this idea with all my heart for many reasons, but it doesn’t look like ben meredith will be in it, so i’ve had to modify it a bit. so, either the prime minister will be gwendolyn bouchard, who could either be a relative of elias or transfem elias (although, trans prime minister?? in this godforsaken country??) OR the tim fearon character, who could potentially be jonah magnus or a similar previously established character. but personally, i’m betting on miss gwendolyn, so keep that in mind as you read the rest of this.

and so at the end of the first or second episode, we hear this prime minister in a big meeting about the incident, and the episode ends on a cliffhanger that reveals what the unscrambled audio really was.

it’s mag 200. which is why jon and martin are (potentially) on the cast list. the fears are ushered into the universe using their voices.

but i think what would be an even cooler cliffhanger is if after this big reveal, after the tape squeals and basira says good luck, we hear something we’ve never heard before.

“oh, hello. are you still listening?”

OR

tim fearon’s voice.

so this is where the REDACTED names really come into play. idk what the actual plot will be, but my idea is that jon, martin, and the tim fearon character, who i personally think is the voice of the original jonah magnus, are:

1, stuck as “ghosts in the machine” of sorts, living on as disembodied glitchy voices and nothing more

2, are huge eldritch entities, who can speak through anything and anyone, maybe possess people, etc, and possibly act as similar entities to the fears in a way, creating their own avatars and suchlike - maybe to fight the fears in jon and martin’s cases

or 3, the fears use their voices to actually speak, probably through recordings and electronics, meaning the REDACTED isn’t just to conceal their characters, they actually just don’t have names

also this is a much smaller point but because her name and presumed age are so out of place in comparison to the rest of the cast, i think lady mowbray is a psychic or mystic woman of some kind rather than an actual noble woman, and will be able to talk to the new jon and martin, whatever they are

so yeah that’s it i guess! i hope all this makes sense, if anyone has any questions, anything to add or challenge, or just want to discuss it please please do!! i want to see what people think of this in light of all the new information because i LOVE this idea so much that if it doesn’t happen i might just write it myself lol

[eelfuneral]

The Bad Batch having a hard time realizing that they are currently and have always been exploited, even when they see things that directly parallel their situation, is actually pretty realistic. A lot of traumatized people and abuse survivors are able to recognize when others are in a bad situation, but have a hard time applying the same logic to themselves. For many, it is far easier to explain away and minimize their trauma, because doing otherwise would shatter their worldview and force them to make decisions that they don’t feel ready to make. I feel like every member of the Bad Batch is a prime example of this phenomenon at work.

The guys were literally made to fight and possibly die in a war and were treated as little more than very intelligent livestock from the time they were tiny. Though horrific, this is the only reality that they know. Acknowledging that this was no way to grow up would cast their entire existence in a new and horrific light that would be hard enough to process if they weren’t living life hand to mouth and parenting a young girl. Admitting that Cid is exploiting their labor like those children in the ipsum mine would likely mean they would have to make a big and difficult decision about how they are going to go forward, and decision making is often a pain-point for IRL veterans returning to civilian life, so it’s not a stretch to imagine that it’s tough on the guys, too.

The Bad Batch, and by extension, all clones, spent their entire lives in a structured environment where decisions as specific as when they were to eat and wake up were made for them. Acknowledging that they need to get away from Cid, a person who somewhat replicated military structure by sending them on mercenary missions, would mean that the guys would have to be a lot more self-directed, and I think that scares the hell out of them. I feel like this is especially true since their last Big Decision (defecting from the Empire) cost them Crosshair.

The Bad Batch, and by extension, all clones, spent their entire lives in a structured environment where decisions as specific as when they were to eat and wake up were made for them. Acknowledging that they need to get away from Cid, a person who somewhat replicated military structure by sending them on mercenary missions, would mean that the guys would have to be a lot more self-directed, and I think that scares the hell out of them. I feel like this is especially true since their last Big Decision (defecting from the Empire) cost them Crosshair.

Everyone in the Bad Batch is very much in denial about his situation, and I think that we are being shown all of these parallels to build up to a big “oh shit” realization for all of them later in the season.

[twistedtummies2]

Top 10 Portrayals of Mycroft Holmes

In my last couple lists for the supporting cast of Sherlock Holmes, I discussed two of his closest allies: Mrs. Hudson and Inspector Lestrade. It’s now time for another of his allies, though perhaps the most begrudging of them all: his elder brother, Mycroft Holmes. Mycroft is an intriguing character, because there are essentially two completely different ways to portray him. In the original books, Mycroft is declared to be even smarter than Sherlock is, which is already quite interesting. What makes him even more fascinating, however, is the reveal of his career: Mycroft “IS the British Government.” He’s the head of political and military intelligence, his power seemingly second only to the Prime Minister and the Royal Family themselves. With so much power and brilliance, one would expect Mycroft to be a rather imposing figure…but in Conan Doyle’s stories, the character is actually depicted a sort of comical figure. Mycroft is a sort of stereotypical, pompous bureaucrat in the books; like Sherlock, he’s a trifle eccentric, as well as rather pompous and slightly foppish in demeanor. The humor comes from his blustering attitude and exaggerated rotundity, which are completely at odds with the potential for something more dangerous when you realize what and who he really is. As a result of this dichotomy, different reimaginings and adaptations of Mycroft tend to gravitate more towards one side or the other: some versions play the character very much in the Conan Doyle vein, as a comically uppercrust caricature. Others, however, have focused much more on his political prowess, making him a much more serious character, with the humor stemming now from his dandy manners and the relationship he has with his brother. In the books, Sherlock and Mycroft have a SLIGHT sibling rivalry, but they actually seem to get along fairly well; most reinterpretations, however, really play up that rivalry and have the two constantly at each other’s throats…but when push comes to shove, that brotherly love still shines through. With so many different ways to handle Mycroft, choosing my favorites was rather difficult: this duality to the character and the way he’s been portrayed means that he is both easy to mess up and yet hard to mess up at the same time, if you can imagine such a paradox. I think, however, that the choices I’ve made are more or less finite, though a few may rise or fall on the scale depending on my mood, more than anything else. With that said, here are My Top 10 Portrayals of Mycroft Holmes!

10. Rhys Ifans, from Elementary.

It took me a while to warm up to this version of Mycroft, but ultimately I did come to like him. In here, instead of being the head of British intelligence, Mycroft is simply an AGENT of said intelligence: he’s essentially this universe’s version of James Bond, a suave and classy spy for MI6, who works under the facade of a restauranteur. While I do have a few issues with this take on the character, overall I think it’s an interesting one; a big part of what makes him good comes from Ifans’ acting.

9. Robert Morley, from A Study in Terror.

This Mycroft COULD have been in my Top 5, at the very least, if he had a larger role. Morley is probably the most book-accurate take on Mycroft ever, but he’s only in the film for a couple of short minutes, and…well…frankly, he has absolutely NO purpose to be in the story at all. I feel like someone just included him BECAUSE they wanted to see Robert Morley play this character, and…fair play to them, I suppose, I’m glad it happened. I just wish he had more of a reason to be there, and more screentime in his pocket.

8. Peter Jeffrey, from Hands of a Murderer.

In this period remake of “The Woman in Green” (one of the Basil Rathbone films), Jeffrey’s Mycroft ends up being kidnapped by Professor Moriarty, who is seeking information he wishes to sell to enemy agents. (Which actually sounds similar to a completely different Rathbone movie, “Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon,” but I digress.) While his role is relatively peripheral, I enjoy Jeffrey’s work with the character, and they really play around wonderfully with the relationship between the two brothers.

7. Richard E. Grant, from Sherlock: Case of Evil.

While Mycroft’s role in this film is small, his presence is important: it’s revealed that part of the reason he is such a reclusive figure is because he was captured and tortured by Moriarty (after the previous pick, I’m sensing a pattern) during Sherlock’s first encounter with his arch-nemesis. Mycroft’s brain is as sharp as ever, but his body still bears scars. This is one of the most supportive takes on the character out there, and Grant plays him very well.

6. Boris Klyuyev, from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson. 

Arguably one of the funniest versions of Mycroft, in my opinion. This Russian-made TV film series used Mycroft fairly often, and he was always fun to see in action, really leaning into the comedy of the character from the original stories, and even doing a few new things with him, such as having him help Mrs. Hudson during “The Tiger Hunt” (their adaptation of “The Empty House”). Very, very amusing to watch.

5. The Version from Moriarty the Patriot.

This version takes some obvious cues from the rendition from “Sherlock,” portraying Mycroft as a more traditionally handsome, limber fellow, and really emphasizing his power as “the very embodiment of the British government.” However, he’s a much “warmer” character than the BBC version, which I think helps make him stand out, and gives him a little more of the humor that was present in the original stories. In Japan, he's voiced by Hiroki Yasumoto; the English dub is played by "Black Butler" star himself, J. Michael Tatum.

4. Stephen Fry, from the Guy Ritchie Films.

Mycroft appears in the second film, “Game of Shadows,” in another case of a “small but important” sort of role. Some of the funniest scenes in the film are thanks to him, and he’s also important in terms of the movie’s climax and conclusion. Fry is a shockingly book-accurate take on the character for the modern era, both in appearance and portrayal, and I think that’s a big part of why I like him. For all the things these films did differently from Conan Doyle, Mycroft almost feels ripped straight out of the pages.

3. Christopher Lee, from The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes.

Lee was the first “serious” Mycroft, depicting the character as a more athletic and icy sort of character. This is ironic, since “The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes” is mostly rather comedic in nature, although it does have its hard edges. With that said, while he is a bit more dramatic than earlier interpretations, he still has a lot of humorous bits and moments. Plus, it’s Christopher Lee: of COURSE he’s awesome.

2. Mark Gatiss, from Sherlock.

Gatiss not only plays Mycroft in the series, but is also one of its chief creators. As if the guy needed MORE power. This version rather famously plays up Mycroft as a very, VERY authoritarian figure: much colder and more mean-spirited than almost any other interpretation. At times, he’s more of an antagonist than a protagonist in the show. However, he does still have a heart hidden under his dictatorial ways, a fact that’s made clear literally from the start of the series, and does help Sherlock out in various ways throughout the show. I was sorely tempted to make him number one…hopefully the person I chose instead won’t disappoint.

1. Charles Gray, from the Granada Series.

Gray first played the character in the film “The Seven Per-Cent Solution,” but it’s the Granada series (with Jeremy Brett as his younger brother) that I REALLY recognize him for. Alongside Robert Morley (and possibly Stephen Fry), I would argue that this is the most book-accurate take on Mycroft there’s ever been. I love how even though he is depicted as the generally more lighthearted figure from the original stories, he’s not played up as a caricature or a cartoon, and can be serious when the moment calls for it. The show even had two episodes where Mycroft took the place of each of the Baker Street gang, with one episode teaming him up with his brother, and another teaming him up with Watson. Gatiss may be more recognizable nowadays, but for me, Gray IS Mycroft, just as Brett IS Sherlock and Colin Jeavons IS Lestrade, plain and simple.

[you-me-we-04]

My pitch for the community movie is that it is centered on a wedding, specifically Abed’s wedding. The catch is no one knows who he's marrying. Abed uses a Mr. Big style nickname, so the group has no clue who this person is. The whole movie could be about getting the gang back together for Abed’s wedding day. The two main plots are the gang trying to locate Troy so he can be Abed's best man and the gang trying to work out who Abed is marrying so they can do the whole shovel talk with them. This would be a great way to bring in a ton of fan-favorite characters without having to set it at Greendale since they’re all here for the wedding.

 Along with this, it could kinda push the whole Abed fucks thing, since the group could discover that back in Greendale Abed really got around a lot more than the thought (hell maybe throw in a joke that he and white Abed actually slept together). The group would then come to believe that Rachel is the person Abed is marrying and after falling to locate Troy and some type of fight happening due to the group trying to give Rachel the shovel talk (even if I don’t really like the trope of “Long term friends finding out that they never really understood/knew each other” could work really well here) 

The gang including Pierce’s Energon pod (shove a bow tie on that pod) comes together to make Abed’s wedding memorable and prove that they do value their friendship; Jeff and Britta try to see  who can throw Abed the best Bachelor party, Annie falling into the wedding planner role and fighting with the actual wedding planner, something happening with the baker so Shirley steps up to make the wedding cake stuff like that. 

As they are seated for the ceremony we find out that Rachel is the best man (maybe they made a successful sitcom together? and worked out they work better as friends) and of course, the other groom is Troy (and him hiding from the group was his way of bringing the group back together as his wedding gift to Abed was a reunion episode)  At the reception warp up any major storylines ie Jeff and Annie or Jeff and the Dean. Jeff gives a toast and makes the Jeff Winger Speech to end all Jeff Winger Speeches. It's a party and everyone is having a great time. 

Then cut to a quiet moment between Troy and Abed, Abed thanking Troy for this reunion episode even if he thinks it's more like a movie, (If you wanted to make it bittersweet you could do an whole speech about how Abed is okay with this potential being a one of reunion since that what makes it special and sometimes people ((tv shows)) are just the friends you need at that point in your life and you can have years of laughter and joy from those friends but even if you outgrow/end those friendship ((TV shows ending natural or being canceled)) it doesn’t ruined the time you had together and sometimes bring those friendship back can taint the original memories ((needlessly rebooting tv show past their prime)) it okay to miss those friends but it's impotent to move on, we can value those old friend while still making new and different friends,((find new shows with new ideas that we love, that doesn’t mean we like the other shows any less)) that just a part of life) 

 Abed gives Troy his gift, it's a film script Rachel and him are working on about a group of misfits who come together to save their community college from an all powerful evil and on it there is a note that says “write with us?” with Abed asking Troy to join them in writing it since the script needs heart and Troy has the biggest heart out of anyone he’s ever met. He agrees and we get a Troy cries/handshake/kiss moment. It ends with a group hugging and the cast dancing to Roxanne or the opening theme in a cute post-credit bit (in or out of character)

[tarklesbehindthescenes]

So many RiD01 requests, I'm in heaven~ Thank you @hotshotsgirl26 and here is part one!

Continuity: RiD01

Characters: Side Burn, Railspike

Requests | AO3

“That jerk… That complete and utter half-clocked piston head!” Side Burn stopped to let out a long, loud scream of frustration, and then flopped backward in the grassy field he’d been traipsing through to glare up at the cheerful blue sky decorated with fluffy white clouds, his lower lip stuck out in a pout.

Prowl had gone too far this time. How dare he accuse Side Burn of not taking his position as an Autobot seriously?! Imply disloyalty, even! Just because he got sidetracked occasionally with little red sports cars… It wasn’t like Side Burn wasn’t doing his job! He always pulled through when push came to shove! And he knew how to prioritize! Prowl was just a stiff who didn’t know how to have fun, so liked to wreck it for everyone else! There was nothing wrong with what he was doing!

His thoughts would have continued down this train of thought a bit more… however an actual train suddenly loomed over him, casting a shadow over him and blocking his view of the sky. Railspike, specifically, had stepped into his line-of-sight and was peering down at him curiously. “Now what’s a car like you doing in a field like this?” the old mech mused.

“I’m not slacking off!” Side Burn snapped impatiently. “This is downtime! I’m allowed to go where I please!”

Railspike raised his hands in surrender before slowly lowering himself to crouch on his legs and put himself closer to Side Burn’s level. “Easy there, sport. I’m not sayin’ any of that,” he soothed. “Just saw ya while I was rolling between jobs. Ya sounded revved up over somethin’. Was wondering if there’s anything I can do to help.”

The blue Autobot brother huffed and considered telling the train bot to just go about his day and leave him alone, but Railspike had made the effort to stop what he’d been doing out of genuine concern for Side Burn’s mood. Noting this, his expression eased up slightly and his tone softened as he addressed his fellow Autobot. “You’re sure you don’t have anything better to do?”

“The station can keep their timetable without me,” the train bot reassured, moving to have a seat beside the sulking bot and turning his head to peer down at him with his full attention. “Now, what can ol’ Railspike do for you?”

“Think you could teach my stick-in-the-mud brother how to lay off?” Side Burn suggested bitterly.

“Another fight, huh?” Railspike put together. “The red sports car thing?”

“He said I’m neglecting my duties! Shirking my work!” the blue Autobot exclaimed with exasperation. “Even said that if I’m not taking my job seriously that I should just hand in my badge to Prime! It’s not like the big guy has any issues with my work or how I do it! It’s just Prowl! And T.A.I., I guess— But this is about Prowl!”

“That does sound a bit harsh,” the older mech admitted. “You’re a goof, sure, but—”

“Gee, thanks…”

“But I’ve never questioned your dedication to the cause,” Railspike finished, ignoring Side Burn’s sarcastic remark. “We all got our own ways of givin’ to the Autobot cause. Just ‘cause you don’t do it the way Prowl does it, don’t mean you don’t care.”

“Exactly!” the younger mech exclaimed, pushing himself to sit up and gesture at Rail Spike with energetic agreement. “You get it! The boss mech gets it! So why can’t he?!”

“You’re both young bots with lots of lessons to learn. Give it time,” the train bot soothed, gently motioning for him to cool his jets. “He’ll figure out how to loosen up, you two will compromise, and everything will be smooth.”

“That’ll be the day… Still… I appreciate it, Railspike,” Side Burn thanked, giving him a faint smile. “I’m still kind of frustrated, but it helped to get all that off my plating and hear that I’m not just living in my head, you know?”

Railspike nodded with a knowing grin. “Trust me, I get how it goes. I’ve bore witness to enough arguments between Midnight Express and Rapid Run.”

“They’re just as bad, huh? Yeah, I can see that,” the Autobot brother chuckled.

“Both sides got points, but usually it’s just that they’re too caught up in how they personally do things that they can’t stand the thought of it being done any other way,” the old mech mused. “Takes an open mind to get anywhere when everyone’s got different personality chips.”

Side Burn’s expression turned into one of deep thought upon hearing this take. “An open mind, huh?” he echoed softly, running through his and Prowl’s argument again. …Maybe there was something he could take away in there. Just maybe. He’d have to do some serious thinking about it, though.

“Fuel for thought,” Railspike said, suddenly pushing himself to his feet. “You enjoy your break, little buddy. I’ve gotta head off now.”

“Oh, sure thing, Railspike,” the young bot uttered as he snapped out of his thoughts to watch the bullet train walk away. “Thanks again!”

“Any time,” he called over his shoulder as he strode away.

Side Burn laid back down and stared up at the clouds drifting through the sky, going back to his thoughts. “An open mind, huh?” he murmured. He could probably do that. It could help him figure out why Prowl was such a stiff about things. “…Yeah. I can do that,” he decided.

[blade-liger-4ever]

Just saw this last night, and HOO-BOY, I LOVED IT!

So, I won't really get into the plot, at least for now, because I just gotta get the cast talked about first.

The casting of Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief is perfect! Pierce Brosnen nailed Chiron, and I get the feeling he would have stolen more scenes if he'd had more screentime (the moment he said "Are you kidding? This is the best part", he became one of my favorite background characters.) The kid doing Percy made me really like the character; I never read the books until recently, and even then I skipped straight to the second arc where the Romans are involved, but even with this current book where Percy is a POV character, I did and do not care for him as much as Movie Percy. Kid was great, ten outta ten acting.

Annabeth struck me as far more interesting in the movie than the books. Heck, even before I read from her viewpoint she didn't interest me at all; in the movie, she's rather arrogant and snobbish, but it works in the character's favor and makes her far more compelling. The actress did great, and props to her for endearing Annabeth to me: that was a feat.

Grover was THE BEST of the trio, I will not take criticism. He protected Percy, took everything in stride, and figured out what they were dealing with on the fly easily - all without being Mr. Perfect and still being humorous (e.g. when they leave Medusa's severed and sunglasses-laden head in the hotel sink, Grover responds, "Guys, really? I cannot pee with her staring at me." Top notch comedy, I need more films with this actor.)

Sean Bean was good as Zeus. I don't have much to say about his part, honestly; he wasn't there much, but 1 he made Zeus tolerable, and 2 he had the most presence out of all the actors, with Kevin McKidd being a close, and I mean close, runner up.

Speaking of, Kevin McKidd, AKA Fenn Rau from Star Wars Rebels (and the big draw of this film for me), was. Absolutely. AWESOME.

And he only really had ten minutes in the film!

Seriously though, he played Poseidon so well. You could tell he was thousands of years old, still in his prime, and resisting every instinct to run over, hug Percy, and never let him go when they were within a hundred feet of each other. Even when all you could get from him in the movie was his voice, the care and urgency for his son's safety carried through beautifully.

The other actors - Hades, Persephone, the mortal actors in the background - they were all equally great. They made the characters likable, despicable, or somewhere in between. Bravo, people!

And then there's the second draw of this film for me: Jake Abel as Luke, son of Hermes, and the true lightning thief.

If there was ever anything that showed how much wasted potential the writers of Supernatural had when consistently throwing Jake Abel out the window after having him appear like six times in the show, this film was it.

He made Luke funny, likable, and mischievous, garnering the love of the audience, and then broke the hearts of those who liked him when he turned around and revealed he was an angry, hurt young man who wanted to overthrow the Olympians and take over in their stead in order to "right" their wrongs of being neglectful jerks (the only one who wasn't actually completely neglectful on purpose was Poseidon. My guy was trying his hardest to stay in touch with Percy and did everything he could to help him out.)

Jake Abel, I'm sincerely sorry you never got the next four films that should have come after Sea of Monsters, and even more sorry that you got so dissed in Supernatural. Consider this post of mine a letter of apology.

Okay, plot discussion time - well, at least the gushing of how it was handled.

So, setting up the whole war between the Olympians actually doesn't strike me as horribly handled. Yes yes, there's more "concrete" reasons for it in the book, but for the public who have never heard of these books, it's not all that farfetched. I mean, public opinion of Hades is always bad (I'm sorry Hades, you really don't deserve that rep), Poseidon doesn't particularly care for drama, and his mood tends to switch on a dime, and Zeus? Please, we all know how much of a jerk-butt he is. Be honest: Is it really all that hard to believe Zeus declaring war if his master bolt isn't returned in two weeks? And as for him jumping to the conclusion of Poseidon's son stealing it - just look at the opening scene of the film. The way Poseidon got physical that fast, and moments before was practically spitting venom at Zeus for banning him from seeing his son, it's no wonder Zeus thought Poseidon would've done something to make Percy steal it from him.

Now before you come at me, let me put it this way.

Think of yourself in Zeus' mindset. You're a capricious jerk, who won't take the blame, don't care for your offspring at all, and are constantly at odds with your brothers over power/territory struggles. Using your kid is gonna be as natural as breathing to you, so why wouldn't you assume your brothers would do the same? Hmm?

Now, the family and school drama was done excellently as well, especially that moment where one of the kids at the school grabs another and slams him against a locker while Percy and Grover make tracks. Gabe was perfectly detestable, and it was immensely satisfying to see Grover wallop his butt. The race to Camp Half-Blood was done well, although the Chevelle didn't deserve that fate (I will, however, accept the obvious fact that it only got dinged up and lost the hood. A modern day car would have exploded on impact with the ground and sent shrapnel everywhere.)

The scenes with the camp were good, especially how it was quickly yet subtly established that everyone there had lived there for some years and were already pros at combat and other physical activities. Hades' entrance was great, the progression across the country was well-paced, and Luke's help throughout was done neatly and in a manner where the audience only got a glimmer of resentment from him before the bolt was found in the shield.

Speaking of, the scene in the Underworld is severely underappreciated. The effects were grand, the acting well-done, and the positioning of the Underworld in Hollywood is genius on many levels.

The fight scene in Manhatten was good, though I confess Luke's aerial combat was a bit spotty at the beginning. Otherwise it was great, and the first show of Percy's powers was magnificent. No joke, that CGI and other effects are gonna hold up for another thousand years.

Olympus was beautiful, quite honestly, and I love 1 the sheer difference in scale they showed between the humans and the Olympians, and 2 how Poseidon "sheds" water to shrink and appear more normal. More effects that are spectacular and underrated.

The last scene - the return to camp and training - not much to say, other than that it felt really organic, natural, and beautiful. All in all, a great film that's unfairly hated on.

Okay, now for some personal gushing on my part.

So, I'm sure you guessed by now that I was here for Kevin McKidd, mostly because I knew him first in Star Wars Rebels. This is my first time watching him onscreen, but it was amazing and captivating on his part. Not only did he make me believe that he was the Greek god of the seas, but he made me feel Poseidon's pain of not being with Percy and his desire to connect with him, and he certainly made me believe that Poseidon would do anything in his power to help Percy, no matter what loophole abuse he had to commit lest raising Zeus' ire.

As for the dynamic itself, I'm so so happy.

I love how Poseidon risked so much to physically be at the museum while Percy was across the street from him, just to make sure that he could both warn Percy completely and see him in case something went wrong. And although it's a sore spot for the fans, I love how Chiron shows Percy his own little home at Camp Half-Blood, and outright states that Poseidon built it for him. Just Percy, no one else; that's like a father making a specific room for his son, and the fact that they allowed Poseidon to be shown to love Percy more than anything through little things like that is enough to make me burst in happiness.

I loved how Poseidon guided Percy to the water to heal him and give him a second wind in Capture the Flag, and that he woke up Percy and refused to let him be lulled back into the Lotus Eaters' trap until he was sure Percy was back to his senses and able to get out on his own. And when Percy's in the hall of Olympus, Poseidon is practically begging Zeus, his younger brother, to let him speak with Percy, because he knows a chance like this won't arise again for a while. And the sheer relief in his face when Zeus allows it, man, I could've died at that.

The talk between father and son, it was beautiful. It makes sense that Percy has some remaining resentment toward Poseidon for leaving, for not kicking out his stepfather, and the fact that Poseidon doesn't even hold it against him is wonderful. The moment he explains why he couldn't see Percy, and the second Percy realizes the law forbidding the Olympians from seeing their children had been passed because Poseidon loved him so much he was abandoning his duties is golden. And Poseidon telling him that he was always watching Percy and helping him as best he could, and how he promised to always be there for Percy, even in his thoughts and dreams - beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

And the icing on the cake? You remember that I mentioned a training round at camp at the end? It's between Percy and Annabeth, and they're on a hill, but guess what can be seen below the hill?

The lake.

Where Poseidon can watch his son training, and has an easier time of making contact with him.

This movie is a masterpiece, and if you're not a fan of the books and have never seen it before, please, go give Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief a watch! You won't regret it!

[dual-cetacean]

Choas Energie vs Prism Energy.

Heyo! I've been in a funk for some time and feeling stilted. So why not do something different and just air out some ideas and thoughts I have about Sonic Prime? I've always wanted to do a deep dive or write some fun headcanons but never found the courage to do it. After agonising about it for some time, I realised that this is Tumbr, and I have nothing to lose by posting my thoughts here.

One, I fucking love the idea of Choas Energy being the reason why Shadow cannot enter the gates except for Ghost Hill. Ghost Hill still has traces of Sonic and Shadow's old world, a graveyard with roaming phantoms spouting the same rhetoric over and over again. With nowhere to escape the grey haze, it is not surprising Shadow preferred the Void over the hollow husk of Green Hill. (And well, to make sure he was able to catch Sonic and drag him down from his adventure to face the music of his actions)

Throughout the series Choas has been something revered, ancient and mysterious. The mugful of the Sonic Universe gathers the seven mystical elements and defeats the bad guy of the game kind of shenanigans. The very idea that it works against one of the most powerful wielders of said energy is pure irony. Especially since the one who goes Super is allowed to go through these worlds.

Beyond this point, there will be spoilers for the last season of the show; please do not continue if you still have to finish it.

Sonic was the last part of Paradox Prism; of course, as long as he ran fast enough, he could break the boundaries of the world. The Prism energy negated the Choas Energy. But not without a price. Without Nine's tech, Sonic was unstable (Sonic's subtle need for Tails shines through, which is only natural as that is his little buddy! I am so glad the series emphasised Sonic's unwavering trust in Tails, which transfers to Nine. Like his best friend becoming his worst enemy is such good grub. I was fed by the tail end of the series. Pun intended)

One contender is that because of the nature of the incident, Sonic cannot control his running. It is as if he is in a constant state of stop, go, stop, go because the energy inside him keeps reliving the same action over and over again—a loop, if you will.

Or, and this is more fantasy than fact, the Prism and Phaos energy inside of Sonic were clashing with each other and making it impossible to get anywhere without zipping all over the place. Perhaps if it had gone on for too long, Sonic's body would have taken a toll from the constant stress his body is in. I mean, we did not see Sonic eat or sleep in the show (which I suppose makes sense as the show barely had time to focus on such mundane things. Nine drank a juice box, though, which good for them), so I am only guessing that Nine's invention and his determination is what kept him upright. That and time distortion, which is canon! But a detail that is easily forgotten among the more exciting things.

But more about that later, finishing my thought about Choas Energy. the last bits of Choas left are Sonic, Shadow, and the Choas Emerald Shadow accidentally dropped in the Void (it appeared back in Shadow's hand in the final after Green Hill was restored, but I wonder what that means for the Shatterverse if everything has been set back to its 'original state'). It is only natural since the Paradox Prism used Mobuis as its template to create the other worlds (and so also Sonic's pals and Doctor Eggman, Big was also splintered, so that means close proximity to the Prism was not needed to become split. What a shame we did not see any other characters from the cast Cream and Cheese or the Choatix). It would use its own energy to replace the missing Choas Energy.

After all, the shards act like emeralds in the sense that they supply endless power. However, their capabilities lay in manipulating their surroundings rather than Choas, which amplifies the power inherent to the user. (Only the Choas Council used their shard like a battery, which is unsurprisingly uncreative of them) I am not a Sonic veteran, and I am probably wrong about this, but the Choas Emeralds do not seem to react to just about anyone. Maybe it is because we only saw it interact with the important characters of the show rather than the background characters, but Prism Energy seems to be more responsive than Choas. Maybe because the changes were made so recently? Or is it in the Prism's nature to be so easily manipulated? Neither do the shards of the crystal have a master emerald to soothe them or act like an anchor. It is all quite interesting. There are so many holes in the Shatterverse. Without Sonic interfering, I am sure the whole Shattverse would have collapsed in on itself, as its nature is to be unstable. None of the characters are balanced because they are born from splinters. They become their own people eventually, but it is in their nature to be unsatisfied and seek what makes them whole.

The last fun headcanon I have is that Choas is corrosive to the worlds the Prism created. For example, when Shadow performs a chaos blast, it is a big explosion because that is the nature of a blast. What if, if he were to use it, the explosion is intensified and corodoes everything it touches? I am uncertain in which canon Shadow uses chaos abilities without the emerald (or maybe that is something Fanon came up with. ), but it could be a reason why Shadow did not use Choas Blast or Spear during the events of the show. Besides, well, there had to be an even playfield to make the story engaging. So, Shattverse gates repel Shadow because he is a walking toxic vile. With only one leak, his life force can eat up the fabric from which the worlds are created. It certainly is a fun idea to write with.

Kinda makes me wonder what would have happened if Shadow brought the Choas Emerald inside one of the worlds or Choas Controlled within its bounds. Hmm, that is a delicious idea to write for.

As for time, I have not exactly calculated how much time Sonic actually spent in the show trying to restore his world. I can't even remember if he was ever knocked unconscious, which could distort his sense of time further. But in Season One, when Sonic meets back up with them, Nine mentions that he's been gone for a while. For what was at most an hour or four for Sonic could have been days or even weeks for Nine and the rest of New Yoke. I seriously need to rewatch the show for the details, but time distortion is a big thing I've been playing with in my writing. The idea of time flowing differently in every world is fascinating to explore. And *rubbing hands together* good angst fuel.

Anywho, I`m glad I got that off my chest. Please tell me if you want to hear more of my ramblings or ideas! That's how I know people want to see more of it. Bye! ヾ(*^▽^*)

[greyplainsttrpg]

5e Villain Arc 3

Sorry for the delay on this. I was working as a bartender for CNN during the RNC here in Milwaukee. Those were like 12 hour days that go well into the early morning, and those consecutive shifts are hard on me. I now have enough brain-space to continue my 5e villain arc.

This is about the Beast Master Ranger, and why it is emblematic of larger problems in 5e.

The Beast Master is truly horrific. At 3rd level, you get a friendo (so long as they are not larger than a medium creature). ONE friendo. Just one. You are a master of exactly one beast. Wow. Truly, I have mastered taming animals. It would be a real shame if this archetype was undermined by a few, easily accessible elements in the game.

So, what does this friendo do? Well, you can tell it to move anywhere within your movement for free "(no action required)". Side-point, if ONLY we had a key word for actions that can be done without costing either your "action" or "bonus action." A "free action," perchance? Image from SRD. Remember what they took from us.

Back on track with the point. Cool, I can send my friendo anywhere within its movement. Once it gets there, what can it do? Oh. I can use MY action to make it either Attack, Dash, Disengage, Dodge, or Help? MY action. The friendo uses MY action to do a shittier version of what I could do. Don't worry, once I get Extra Attack, I can still use AN attack on my turn if the friendo also attacks (not if it does anything else, however). It gets up to 4 times Ranger Level in Hit Points, also known as Wizard HP without a constitution modifier and no spellcasting.

At 7th Level, I can make my pig do two things (again, with my action) SO LONG AS NEITHER OF THEM ARE ATTACK. Now, I can disengage AND dash. Wow. Incredible.

At 11th Level, the beast FINALLY gets an extra Attack. However, again, I must stress--what the hell? MY ACTION?

At 15th Level, if I cast a buffing spell on myself, the friendo also gets it. Cool. Why is this not a 3rd or 7th level feature?

Summary of archetype finished, what the hell were they thinking? How is this class significantly better than just using animal handling on a war dog or a trained bear? Oh wait, young adventurer, Animal Handling does not do what you expect.

This skill is so limited and specific, it nearly never comes up during play. Animal Handling, very specifically, does not let you train animals. The only way to train animals, or should I say AN animal, is through the Beast Master Ranger Archetype. Big lmao. I looked up "Animal Handling" into my web browser search engine to see what GMs think about this skill. I got this result which I find to be indicative and very funny. This was the first result besides listing of Skills, word per word, from the book, so assumedly this might be what the average player encounters if they look up this skill. I mean no ill will to this person, but may I suggest maybe playing a different game?

They capitulate that the rules do not allow you to tame or train animals. However, they suggest that "most GMs allow it anyways." And internet funny people let me do it? Don't you want to be like cool internet funny people? But most GMs should not allow it because that directly interferes with the Beast Master Ranger. It is like, literally, the only thing they can do.

This is a prime example of 5e being ridiculous. On the one hand, they don't want to give martials super-human powers because "that's not realistic." Usually, people point to magic and say "well that's not realistic either." True, but I find a more compelling argument to be that 5e consistently limits what you can do that IS literally possible. Such as training animals.

Side note: Did you know that the current pigeon is a domesticated animal (and then let outside without supervision, thus a feral species)? Like, the pigeon as we generally experience it is not a natural creature. That's why they are such "assholes" and take up space so boldly on city streets. They are not assholes. We bred them to be comfortable around people. They are just not intimidated by people like other animals because we bred that out of them. Very funny.

Pigeons are impossible in the framework of D&D 5e, because it is literally impossible to domesticate more than a single animal at a time, and only level 3 Rangers can even attempt to perform animal husbandry with a single animal. Cops can train their dogs to pretend to smell weed in my car, and cops do not have a high wisdom score, nor are they at least level 3 rangers (but park rangers with rescue dogs might be). Dogs are impossible. How are there dogs in D&D 5e. Are there just enough Beast Master Rangers that they can manage to breed wolves over hundreds or thousands of years to be best friends with us? Pigs? Impossible. Cows? Impossible. Chickens? Impossible. None of these animals can be tamed or trained in any capacity. You can just calm them down (if they are already domesticated, despite this being fundamentally impossible, rules as written) or read their intentions (hopefully their intentions are "I want my progenitors to be domesticated animals, please").

Not only can martials not do super-hero feats, they also can't do basic, normal things. I know that rangers are not strictly "martial" characters, but their spells are... not great.

Ranger spells that effect yourself that can also meaningfully help the beast (like, that it can actually use the effect):

Jump (niche),

Longstrider (by 15th level, not great)

Speak with Animals (I gues the animal can now speak with animals? that's funny)

Barkskin (you will not benefit from this, but considering how shit your friendo is, it might be worth doing?)

Darkvision (niche, because there's a good chance both you and your friendo can see pretty well in the dark)

Find Traps (unironically, the best spell of its level to slap onto a friendo)

Lesser Restoration (if both you and the friendo need this spell, then you save a level 2 spell slot, and there was much rejoicing)

Locate Animals or Plants (not a good spell, not helped by a friendo considering range is 5 miles)

Pass Without Trace (you have two nodes of this, maybe? That can be useful within the range that you can control the friendo?)

Protection from Poison (niche + better resolved with a potion + same problem as Lesser Restoration + L + ratio)

Nondetection (lmao, now your dog or whatever isn't giving off psychic traces--cool)

Protection from Energy (actually usable. First spell since Longstrider that has a consistent use-case, btw)

Speak with Plants (lmao)

Water Breathing (Demon Slayer is cringe)

Water Walk (niche)

Freedom of Movement (has uses, not as consistent as Barkskin or Protection from Energy)

Locate Creature (same problem as Locate Animals or Plants)

Stoneskin (now we're talking. only consistently useful spell since Protection from Energy, btw)

Commune with Nature (this technically applies to your friendo, however there is no additional effect, except that if somebody cast Speak with Animals, then they could get that information out of the friendo instead of you, for whatever reason)

Tree Stride (this could be useful, actually)

This leaves us with around 6 spells you would consistently consider casting for the benefit of your friendo: Longstrider, Barkskin, Find Traps, Protection from Energy, Stoneskin, and Tree Stride. A couple of spells will see occasional use: Jump, Pass without Trace, Water Breathing, Water Walking, and Freedom of Movement. The rest are terrible. Is this really worth waiting until 15th level?

The key issue here, and why the class is so horrible (to the point of dooming the world to no domesticated animals) is the author's perception of action-economy cheating. All game developers need to consider their action economy when designing their game. I feel that WotC design D&D's action economy with similar consideration to Magic: The Gathering. I am no master of Magic: The Gathering. I tend not to like playing it, personally, but it's a fine enough game (for clarification). Cards in Magic that allow the Player to "mana-cheat" are generally considered to be good. There is a scale to this, of course, but it is a generally powerful effect. WotC seem to perceive action economy similar to how they perceive mana (from my experience playing both games). A Character's level and features are akin to their Mana, and the thing that they are doing similar to the text of a card. Some cards, such as the Bear, are honest cards with attack and health. They are like characters who are not specialized to do that action with various proficiency. Think of a Wizard making a melee attack: that's a bear. Other cards are 3/3 with upside (apparently Mayhem Devil is good? idk enough about Magic: The Gathering to care). Those are characters are specialized in that action. Think of the Paladin using smite, and compare that to the wizard. Then there is mana-cheating, basically being able to play more cards then you are "supposed to" during the turn-number/land on field (which could be considered akin to character level). If the Beast Master Ranger could perform an action and command their beast to make an action, that would be considered akin to mana cheating. The Ranger is cheating the action economy by getting "extra attack" (with downside of the extra attack sucking ass because it comes from a 1/4 at max HD creature) before level 5. "THAT WOULD BE TOO POWERFUL!" Squawked Chris Perkins, perched on his stand, hunched over the WotC writers as he ruffles his wings (for some reason, idk, this is the imagery that came to mind lol). Meanwhile, the Moon Druid could turn into a bear... last level... and get a multi-attack from being a bear. And the effect of Longstrider from being a bear. Plus a bunch of extra health from being a bear. Plus extra strength from being a bear.

I just. I just don't understand. Like, I literally understand what they were thinking, I believe, but I cannot manifest into my brain why they considered an extra attack or action from a 1/4 hd creature to be "unfair."

Side-note: how is the beast companion capable of taking the "help" action? Like, how? What can it do? How is it helping with Dexterity (Stealth), or Dexterity (Slight of Hand)? I can see Help as a contextual option based on the kind of animal and what they are being asked to do, but I feel there are better ways to address this (this will come up later).

The most tragic thing about the Beast Master Ranger is that their special gimmick is largely outclassed by the spell, Find Familiar. Not only is this spell better than the Beast Master Features in several ways (as the level three version, but also into the future for a while), but anyone can access it at Level 4, with upside. If you take the Magic Initiate Feat, you can choose Find Familiar as your Spell AND you get two Wizard cantrips. That's pretty good. Any human can be better than the beast master at Level 1 with their bonus feat.

The major benefit of Find Familiar is that the familiar can act independently of your character. There are other upsides:

You can communicate telepathically, which I do not think you can do as a Beast Master Ranger.

If it dies, it simply rematerializes if you cast this again. You do not have to go find another animal (which can be a serious obstacle).

You can unsummon it, unlike the Beast Master's Companion. In any environment that is not the wilderness, the familiar is simply less awkward to maintain.

The Familiar can CHANGE ITS FORM by casting the spell again.

You can send touch spells to another character via the familiar. This is MUCH better than sharing a spell that effects the user with the animal companion ("in many cases"), and it comes PRE-BUILT INTO THE SPELL. This is not a 15th level feature of the familiar. You get this right out of the box. What the shit? Was the writer of this spell not aware of how particularly cruel this mechanic is to the Beast Master Ranger? It is actually so funny.

"Well, if you're so smart, how what would YOU do to fix it?" a 5e defender might say. I have two fixes to this.

Remove it. Just remove the archetype from the game. It should never have been published. It is bad. Replace it with something better.

Okay, so let's say that the Ranger has a number of "Points" to spend equal to their Ranger Class. These points can be spent on a number of Beast Companions, giving them special traits (like bonus to attack or damage, being proficient in skills, bonus to AC, etc). The Ranger can use their action to make all their companions take actions. There would be limits to this that make sense. For example, say at Level 3, the maximum CR a companion can be is 1/4, but at 7th level this increases to 1/2, at 11th to 3/4, and 15th to 1. I don't know how much each CR monster would cost in terms of Points (2 points per 1/4 CR seems reasonable, but that would require testing), and I don't off-hand know what the various elements you could attach to the beasts are. This basic framework, however, would make you truly feel like a master of beasts. This way, Wisdom (Animal Handling) can also be a real skill that does what you would expect it to do. Training a beast to do certain actions is not nearly as powerful as turning a bunch of friendos into awesome and versatile little fellows.

Okay. That's it for this post. Beast Master Ranger sucks because Wizards of the Coats genuinely does not understand or respect their action economy. That's the TL;DR of it all.

-trans rights -free Palestine -WotC sucks -buy my book

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