#i might either post it tomorrow or sometime later

[ciahasnolife]

I knoooow, I should post the second part of the loscar fic but... I might've or might not have been working on a lestappen omegaverse fic?

So here's a wip of it

So the problem with being an omega while everyone thinks you're an alpha is that they treat you like an alpha. It's not like Max wanted any special treatment, exactly the opposite of that. That's why he hid his secondary gender from the public who just then assumed he's an alpha. With his board shoulders, his careless reputation towards the media and with his bluntness it was logical. Since the FIA and pretty much everyone in the paddock already knew, he doesn't have to tell the world which he is grateful for.

He would hate being pictured as a fragile, weak person who needs someone to take care of him. He is a lot of things but weak is not one of them. But sometimes - just sometimes - when people boo at him for example on the podium at the Miami GP, he just wants to hide in his nest, curled around his boyfriend, who would then draw circles on his back with his other hand soothingly in his hair.

There are two problems with that. One is that he for obvious reasons can't do that and the other is that he doesn't have a boyfriend. He doesn't want to share with anyone that he's an omega because of the fear of them telling the whole world if something goes wrong between them, his father made sure he developed this fear very soon after he presented as an omega. His father was so angry and ashamed of him because of something he couldn't even change. So now, he doesn't really trust anyone except for the ones who already know, not that he would have the time for dating, he's too busy breaking records.

Besides, he wouldn't want anyone else but a certain man with the most charming style you've ever seen and his hot accent, a dream come true. Of course, with a personality and looks like that, the alpha has omegas after himself 24/7. Max couldn't even stand a chance.

The point is, that when people whistle or boo at him, he just wants to hide away. Under the covers or preferably behind the alpha but of course in those moments he can't do either.

So when he's about to do his interview, which he doesn't want either and if neither the fans are interested, they could all just leave it, but no, the fans have to boo at him and whistle and make him feel bad because neither of the Ferrari drivers could catch him, he couldn't be more grateful for Charles to shush them. And if he's being completely honest, it makes him fall for the monégasque even more.

He shoots a quick smile at the other and does his interview then goes on with his day like he always does on quali days. Team debrief, stay in with GP to find the perfect strategy for tomorrow's race, go back to the hotel, get the scent blockers off and go shower. What he doesn't expect is a message waiting for him as he gets out of the shower from someone who makes his heart flutter.

Hey, just wanted to check on you, if you're okay?

Charles:

I know that the Italian fans can be a bit harsh on everyone who isn't at Ferrari.

I'm sorry they're so mean to you :(

And Max can't believe his eyes. Because one, did Charles really waste even a minute on texting him instead of basking in the love of the Tifosi and two, was that a sad face?

He just shakes his head and replies.

Yeah, everything's alright.

Max:

Thanks for shushing them, means a lot

The last bit gets deleted before he sends it. Not like it doesn't mean a lot, he's just afraid that he's giving away too much and the younger will learn about his embarrassingly huge crush on him.

He doesn't think too much of it though just makes his way over to his suitcase to get a fresh pair of boxers out of it.

But as he goes back to the bed and picks his phone back up with his WhatsApp with the monégasque still open, he sees the three dots pop up and then disappear only to reappear seconds later.

It makes the omega curious because even if they’ve been on good terms, friends even with the other for a while now they don't really talk outside the track on race weekend so the first message was already unexpected just as it was also sweet of the alpha to check on him, Max can't even take a guess on what the other would want from him.

As he was thinking the text finally came in so he checks it with a bit too much enthusiasm. And Max once again can't believe his eyes.

Which hotel you're staying at?

Charles:

Just as he goes to reply, another bubble comes up.

Fuck, no, that sounded weird.

Charles:

I meant if I could come over to keep you company and I could also get away from the fans waiting for my every move under my window.

It is of course okay if you want to be alone I totally understand that too

Just thought we could hang out a for a bit play

With each mesaage his eyes open wider. Surely Charles finally lost his mind. I was only a matter of time anyway with the shitbox he has under him. He, however, doesn't want to be rude so he sends out a message that - hopefully - doesn't give away too much of how excited he is.

Sure, I have my FIFA on me if you're in the mood of losing

Max:

He can only hope that the other gets the joke because Max has been told that he's a dry texter several times. But today, luck decided to be on his side.

Ooh, it's on

Charles:

Send the address, Verstappen

If you dare;)

And with a grin that could blind the Tifosi camping outside the alpha's hotel, Max sends the address.

[pianostarinwonderland]

TWST Valentines Cards 2023

Hell yeah, it's that time of the year again.

Going to make another post keeping record of this year's set of letters. Some cards haven't been found yet, so this post will be updated as I find more cards. If there is an asterisk beside a character's name, that means I only got the text itself but there may be errors and needs to be verified with the picture of the card itself. If any of you have pictures of letters that are either not there or need verification and don't mind showing to anyone, please send to me through DMs!

Since the cards freshly came out and some are still waiting for their own letters, all letters will be posted under the cut!

Riddle Rosehearts

My dear friend— Thank you for the lovely sweets. I'll have them on my study breaks. If they're good, perhaps I'll set them out at a tea party. You'll certainly be invited if I do. After all, there's no rule that states you can't join.

Trey Clover

Hello, friend— Thanks so much for the gift. It was exactly my taste, with just the right amount of sweetness. I can tell you thought a lot about what to get. I'll come up with a recipe based on these sweets sometime. I hope you'll taste test it for me.

Cater Diamond

Eyyy, friendo! Sweets aren't normally my jam, but the ones you picked out were PERF—and they looked great too! You must've put in some WORK picking them out. So, thanks! I'll make sure to do the same for you!

Ace Trappola

Heya, pal— I kinda freaked when I saw you left a present at my door—in a good way! You actually sent me sweets! You could've just given them to me in person, you know. I haven't had any yet, but I'm sure they'll be great! We should share them at lunch tomorrow.

Deuce Spade

My good friend— Thanks for the amazing gift! You got me those mega-popular sweets we just talked about, right? They were so good! It's kind of a shame I ate them all. Have you had any? I guess it'd be weird if I gifted you the same thing, but come shopping with me sometime and we can pick out some sweets for you.

Leona Kingscholar

Hey— You give me SWEETS? I swear, sometimes I don't know what goes through that noggin of yours. I'll be nice and say I appreciate the sentiment...this time. But don't expect any glowing food reviews.

Ruggie Bucchi

Hey, 'sup. I got the sweets you sent! It's always a good day when someone gifts me food. These are supposed to be real popular right now, yeah? They must've been hard to snag. Shyeheehee, that makes them doubly good! Thanks a ton!

Jack Howl

Hi, I was surprised when I smelled something sweet at my door. Consider your present received. I still can't believe you gave me such cutesy-looking sweets. Not that I'm unhappy about it, of course. I actually like candy and stuff. Thanks.

Azul Ashengrotto

My boon companion— Thank you for the heartfelt gift. I suppose I owe it to you to partake of these sweets. Don't worry. Once I've analyzed the flavor, I'll gift you something equally delicious. After all, fair's fair.

Jade Leech

My good friend— You've outdone yourself. Sweets that pair well with black tea? My deepest thanks. I'm flattered that you thought of me so when selecting them. You've inspired me. I'm going to spend my mountain hikes pondering just the right tea blend to suit your palate. I do hope you'll enjoy it.

Floyd Leech

Dear little shrimpy— I saw your present. You got me candy? That rules! I was JUST in the mood for something sweet. I might not be tomorrow though, so I think I'll polish them off today. Thanks.

Kalim Al-Asim

To my dear friend— Thanks for the present! What colorful and sparkly sweets. They look delicious! I just had an idea! How about we eat them together after school? Gifts like this taste better when shared, after all. I'll pick out a good tea to go with them. Can't wait to see you later!

Jamil Viper

Hello— I was surprised to see you gifted me sweets. At first I wondered if you were hinting for me to make you something similar... But when I pulled the gift out of the bag, I saw all the details you put into it, right down to the ribbon. It's clear this was a heartfelt gesture. I'll treasure these treats as I eat them. Thank you.

Vil Schoenheit

Dearest friend— Thank you for the gift. The sweets were dazzling and most attractive. Did you try to imagine what I'd like when picking them out? If so, you made an apt choice. I'll have something for you later in return.

Rook Hunt

Bonjour, and merci beaucoup! What a lovely batch of confections! They’re so darling that I’m tempted to stow them away in a brilliant bejeweled box. Ah, but I jest. I’ll enjoy every morsel of this gift you’ve so thoughtfully bestowed upon me.

Epel Felmier

Dear friend— Thanks for the gift! Sweets from the city have a real fancy vibe, don't they? I'll savor every bite. I know this isn't exactly a gift, but I just scored some coupons for the cafeteria. Wanna join me for lunch tomorrow? Just wait for me, and I'll find you!

Idia Shroud

@YOU huh? What the wha? im low-key scared here why would u give me sweets??? ig that sometimes i run low on sugar when ive been gaming too long and my aim becomes trash... ok sure, if this is ur way of looking out for me, ill take it

Ortho Shroud

Hello, Prefect― Thanks for the present! The sweets were very charming and cute, not to mention colorful. What neat designs! I'll make sure to save this as a special memory. I've run the data on their base ingredients, and hope to gift you some fitting sweets in return soon.

Malleus Draconia

To my dear friend— Thank you. Never did I envision someone presenting me with the gift of sweet treats. It would be a shame for me to eat them all by myself. I think I'll share them with you. Would you be willing to provide the tea to go with them?

Lilia Vanrouge

Greetings! Your present was delightful. The treats had a subtle sweetness that was perfect for a slightly mature fae like myself. I'll be making you a lovely treat in return, using a very special recipe of mine. I hope you'll enjoy it.

Silver

Salutations— Thanks for the gift. I read once that sugar can boost your concentration. Did you give me these to snack on when I'm about to nod off during my studies? That was very considerate of you. I think I'll try them out today.

Sebek Zigvolt

Human— I've received your gift. It was agreeably sweet. In fact, it might've been sweet enough to make black coffee bearable... But I digress. Regardless, I was somewhat impressed with your choice. You have my thanks.

Grim

Dear hench-human— Mraaah! Is this ALL for me?! I've never seen such sparkly, yummy-lookin' candy before! I feel like a king! But I'd feel bad leavin' you out of this sugar extravaganza, so I GUESS you can have a small piece. I'm lookin' forward to more gifts, partner!

Dire Crowley

Dear esteemed student— Thank you for the delicious gift. And don’t bother telling me I was supposed to share it—I’ve already finished the whole package! If you wish for the staff to also partake, I suggest you acquire more treats. But don’t worry, I won’t say a word if you give the same gift twice. I’m kindhearted like that!

Divus Crewel

Dear pup— Is this a gift for the staff? Excellent. Now that I have some treats to sweeten my breaks, I'll be able to grade your exams with a much more critical eye. I can see the grimace on your face now. Relax, it was a joke. It's usually frowned upon for dogs to be the ones buying gifts, but since you're such a loyal pup, I'll let you off. I'm a generous trainer, after all.

Mozus Trein

Dear juvenile— I must wonder why you decided to get me a present. Is this your way of thanking me for my lecture the other day? If so, gifts are hardly necessary. It's a teacher's job to educate students with a thirst for knowledge. I can't accept any offerings from students, but the sentiment is much appreciated. I expect nothing but excellence from you moving forward.

Ashton Vargas

Dear student— Thanks for the present! Excessive sugar is a no-go when building a beautiful bod, but it'd be bad form to let your thoughtful gesture go to waste. Such is the price of popularity. I'll just have to accept that and work off everything I eat. Keep up those reps!

Sam

Yo, little imp! What is UP? Thanks so much for the gift! You've got a real eye for quality. I'll make sure to stock up on goods that'll pique your interest, so swing by the shop soon!

[bimbowrites]

Twst with Yuu who awkward and stares at them

Warnings; can be seen as either platonic or romantic?

Requests are open!! Don’t worry about much, I do nsfw and sfw content and will have no problem as long as you check my pinned post about fandoms I will do!

Authors note; just needed some non-romantic fics about Twst for once, Duece has more writing bc my brain love this cutie patootie and he is my son

Dorms; HEARTSLABYUL, SAVANACLAW, OCTAVINELLE, SCARABIA, POMEFIORE, IGNIHYDE

HEARTSLABYUL

• The first time you ever stare at Riddle he looks back at you a few seconds later with a confused expression as you keep staring at him. He would then get slightly more confused and then annoyed and asks you what you are doing, to which you just wander off without saying a word.

• This will confuse Riddle even more as he touches his face to see if anything was on him or in his teeth, he realizes an hour later that you were just staring at him for no reason, this makes him feel.. Happy? Or maybe.. prideful that the chance that you might look up to him..? Yes. This must be the answer! Riddle will ask you tomorrow :D

***

• Trey has noticed that you stare at him from both afar and when you both walk with each other. Of course he doesn’t mind it, in fact, you remind him when Riddle was younger and shy when they first met! What an adorable person you are!

• One time Trey asked you a question and you were so zoned out on him that he waved his hand in-front of you face and you looked super embarrassed and answered his question with a crooked smile as he chuckled at your reaction. Maybe he should call you out on it more often?

***

• Cater Takes pictures with you all of the time! You and him are basically best friends, at least he think so. But he notices that you are always looking at him in the pictures as he reviews the pictures before posting them. What a cutie you are! Looking so cute and squishy in the picture! (Platonic love)

• He would send you a picture that he likes of the two of you and leave a smart as comment saying ‘You look like you looove cay-cay’ and giggle at your response and tease you the next day you see each other!

***

• Ace definitely makes fun of you as he notices it almost immediately when you guys are officially friends. You stare at Ace as if you had a problem with him, so he jokingly asks you if you want to fight him and you just fumble with your words as he has a shit eating grin.

• But one time when you were caught staring at him he teased you a lot until you were almost crying, he had a heart attack as you are one of his best friends! (Mostly because he accidentally almost made you cry infront of RIDDLE), so he never teased you too much after that. (Key word; TOO MUCH)

***

• Deuce didn’t really notice (because he’s a little dumb <33) but when he did it was when he first played with Leona in a practice game for the spell drive after Leona’s overblot. He only notices afterwards because Jack pointed it out to him, and now he can’t help but get confused and nervous when you do it. It’s not your fault! Well, maybe it is..? But he enjoys spending time with you, it’s just it creeps him out a bit, sometimes he can’t help but call you out on it.

• Like one time he was walking with you back to ramshackle dorm and he couldn’t help but notice the way you glanced at him and stared every time, Deuce then gives up and asks you about it. Deuce then apologizes as he sees you try to find your words and you kinda look like a kicked puppy and he starts to panic and say it’s alright and he’ll never bring it up again..! (Spoiler alert; he does it on accident all the time)

Hello! Thank you for reading, love you guys and good morning/afternoon/night

[forgetfulminks]

Guide to Prioritising

I saw a post about this and I disagreed with some of the things they said in the post, so I wanted to make my own! While I disagreed with some of the stuff in it, it's still a really helpful guide and you can read it here if you want to.

Sometimes, you have unproductive days where you just procrastinate, and that's ok. You are not pathetic or lazy for doing that. Procrastination is usually a sign that you are overwhelmed and burnt out, which means you probably need to take a break. But what do you do when you really need to finish an assignment for school or a project for work and you still want to procrastinate? This is where prioritising can help you! Figuring out what needs to get done first and what things can wait can decrease your overall workload. So, here's how to do it:

Step 0: The Non-negotiables

These are things you need to remember to prioritise above anything else. These are things that people forget about sometimes, especially in times of stress.

Sleep

Drink water

Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner (don't just have little snacks, you need at least 2-3 proper meals)

Take breaks - you need to take breaks as you're working. You can use the pomodoro method if you want, or something else. I like to do 1-2hrs of work and then a 30-40min break.

Make sure that you prioritise these first! Now that we have that out of the way, let's begin with step 1.

Step 1: What are the most important things?

Figure out what things need to be done now and cannot be put off. These are things that need to be done today, tomorrow, or within the next 3-5 days. If you want to write a to-do list, these are the things that should be at the top and should be done first. It might be a bill you need to pay, it might be some homework you need to do, it might be a test you need to study for, or an email you need to send. Whatever it is, start with these things, do them first, get them out of the way, and that will relieve a lot of your stress. If it's something big that will take a lot of time, then that might be the only thing you do today, and that's ok. Whatever it is, make sure you get it done before you even start thinking about anything else.

Step 2: What are things that need to be done soon?

After finishing the immediate things that need to be done, you can start thinking about the things that are coming up. These are things that need to be done in 1-2 weeks. You can either start it if you haven't already, or write a plan on how you are going to finish it. I personally don't like to plan out how I'm going to finish something, I prefer to just start and do a little bit every day, but everyone is different. The point is to at least start thinking about it to avoid stressing in the future.

Step 3: What are the things you can let go?

After doing the things you need to and starting the things that are coming up, you can now figure out what things can wait for later. These are things that are not urgent and can be put off until later, or things that are due in more than 3 weeks. I know that when you're stressed, your brain wants to worry about every little thing possible. But after you do the big things, then you can think about what is actually important and what isn't. For example, if you're worrying about doing your laundry, ask yourself if it really needs to be done now or if it can be done later. If you usually go to the gym and you're stressing about it, maybe that's a sign that you need to take a break from it today so you can focus on other things. If you're stressing about an assignment that's due months from now, remind yourself that you have a lot of time and you don't need to be worrying about it now. However, if you try to put these things out of your mind and you still find yourself stressing about it, maybe that's a sign that you need to start it or do at least a little bit of it just for your own mental health. Sometimes when we try not to worry about things we worry about them even more. This last step is meant to help you stop worrying about the little things, and if your way to do this is to get them out of the way, then you can do that! Just make sure you don't burn yourself out by doing too many or use these little tasks to procrastinate on a more important task.

Step 4: Prioritise You

After you finish the big assignments, get a head start on future projects, and get rid of the lesser important tasks, it's time to recharge and prioritise yourself! You've done so well keeping up with all these things you need to do, now it's time for some me time! Do whatever it is you need to do to relax, wind-down, decrease your anxiety, and just forget about the pressure of life for a little bit. It could be watching a movie or some videos, playing a game, reading a book, writing something, enjoying some self care, eating some tasty food, whatever it is. It's important to remember to worry about yourself after you've spent a whole day worrying about your work.

And that's my guide to prioritising! I hope this helps you with planning out your workload and making schedules!

[gingerjunhan]

Hi besties :) sorry for the lengthy post, but I’ve had something on my mind for a lil bit that I’m deciding to post about

(update under the cut ↓)

I love this account- I really do! I love writing, I love the people I get to interact with, and I love having a creative outlet that lets me express an interest I have (my love for xh and music) while combining it with one of my passions (writing).

The past year has been a blast! But, as the people pleaser I am, I’ve realized I’ve been caught in the mindset of, “I gotta get this request out or people will be upset that they’ve been waiting for [x amount of time]!!” instead of, “I have this idea and I’m gonna write it because I think it’ll be fun to write and read!”

I know this seems a little silly, but my one year anniversary of this account made me realize that I really miss writing original content! This is a passion project after all, so I need to make sure I have fun with it.

So, long story short, for the foreseeable future my requests might not open up as frequently or for as long anymore. I’ll get close to ten requests at a time sometimes, and I feel the need to try to crank them all out as fast as I can because it feels unfair to make you all wait. This is a vicious cycle, because that leads to burnout, which forces you all to wait anyway. My work ethic isn’t great either, so there’s that too (sorry).

So in order to keep my moral up and to keep things fun, this might be how things work for a lil bit. It’s nothing against you guys (I 🩷 my anons and people who send requests), it’s just a little somethin’ somethin’ for me.

For now, requests are closed, but feel free to send me a dm or a message and/or question through my ask box. I’m always down to chat :) I’m also gonna post probably later today or tomorrow, so look forward to that. Thank you for being so understanding! 🩷

TLDR: I want to post more original content, so your requests may come and go less frequently for a while. Sorry.

[lovesangg]

Under Your Watch (J.YH) [pt. 1]

★ Pairing: Jeong Yunho x F!Reader

★ Word Count: 1449

★ Genre: fluff, romance. 

★ Warnings: Part 1 is pretty soft but part 2 might contain some nsfw, Idol Ateez, You’re the manager, curses??? LMAO. HOW DO YOU TAG THESE.

★ Note: I have not proofread this, any grammatical error you might see- they’re not real aaaaadffgdg. Part 2 will be posted tomorrow or later on.

———

You've been managing Ateez for more than five years now. You've been with them since before their debut, and you have never heard a complaint about you, despite only being older than Seonghwa for about eight months. They all wonder how you did such a thing, "must have been from my Strictland," meaning your home.

You have adapted to their lifestyle and live with the boys, making it impossible not to. Sometimes they say you're the female counterpart of either Jongho or Yunho, nearly scared of none- except for bugs; you take care of the bugs. "Noona, there's a fucking cockroach flying in the kitchen!" is something Wooyoung would shout whenever he barged into your room, and you could only sigh to take care of it. Sometimes with Seonghwa's help if he's around.

Usually, the boys are quiet- they have their own lives inside their rooms. Yunho and San are busy with their games, Jongho and Yeosang usually having a competitive workout, Seonghwa is busy binge-watching his dramas, Wooyoung would bother anyone he could, Mingi would sometimes be with San and Yunho, and Hongjoong, he's barely home, and you? Busy with whatever you can fidget in your room, or you're just busy watching in the living room.

Unless- the day comes when they want to randomly bet their money with FIFA; Yunho wins a lot, and Jongho comes second. They teach you how to play console games, or randomly, you'll be seated in front of San's PC with him coaching you behind as you try and trash players in his games, and surprisingly you're good at it.

Remember when they said you're the female counterpart of Jongho or Yunho? None knew that you'd been physically and mentally vulnerable during your sleep, a nightmare. Sure, it's nothing to be scared of, but when it's recurring for almost a week, and it's about you getting devoured by several demons- you wake up in the middle of the night, helpless- hugging your knees as you try to calm yourself.

There has been one name you've been calling unconsciously through the whole week, and San told him about it.

San passed by your bedroom to get a glass of water when he stopped his tracks after hearing something in your room," Y…Yunho…Yunho…" you repeated as you squirmed on your bed. It did not sound right to him; he thought it might have been some fantasy that made him run back to their room with a wide smile. "Yunho…" San's voice trailed; his eyes were smiling in crescents, "hm?" Yunho hummed as a response before looking at the other, confused as to why he was smiling that way, "what? Why are you smiling like that?" he asked, "tomorrow, same time. Try to pass by Y/N's room; no questions asked! Just do it." Yunho was confused, but he dared not say another word, or San would continue to blabber about things.

And so he did, same time, he passed by, and you're there again calling for his name which gave him a little shock, Yunho stood there with his lashes repeatedly batting, "what? That can't be… she can't be doing that…?" he pauses before running back to their room to confirm what he just heard. "Are you going to confront her about it?" San asks while he's busy playing, "I don't know, won't it be too rude?" Yunho frowned while sipping his banana milk, "I mean, you're not going to say it outright, but just be lowkey about it!" San nodded, "Sannie, it's easier said than done," Yunho rebutted. He's right. "Whatever, we'll see. I'll sleep it out for now," he added. And the night passed the way it usually would.

You woke up at the sound of your alarm, and you barely had enough sleep, but you've got schedules to do today; photoshoots, interviews, and some other types of meetings. "Ah, fuck, my head hurts," you muttered under the pillow, but you got up and went with the usual routine; cooking breakfast and waking everyone up.

Hongjoong is surprisingly home today; you woke the eldest first, then the three roommates, then mingi. You heard noises inside Yunho and San's room, "singing," you mumbled before knocking thrice and opening the door, only to see the two already dressed up. Is this some dream? "Good morning, y/n!" San greeted with an eye smile, "you okay? You look like you haven't slept." There was worry in his voice despite you being clueless about the things you do at night, "yea, I haven't slept much. Well, breakfast's on the table. Just go out, I'll prepare the other stuff," you smiled at him before closing the door.

Hours passed, and everyone was in the car; you sat in your usual front seat. Taking a mental note of how long the car ride would be, "3 hours..." you mumbled, "hm?" the driver asked; you just waved your hands before leaning back to close your eyes. Yunho sat behind you; little did you know he's been watching your head move here and there as you slept, and he couldn't bear watching it that way. He looked behind and tapped Jongho's knee, gesturing for the small pillow; once acquired, he slid it beside your head.

"Y/n... wake up, we're here," you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder, "mhmm? we're here?" you mumbled softly; Yunho smiled at you, "mhm, wake up," you only nodded sleepily before trying to get off the bed, only for you to nearly slipping if it weren't for him holding you by your waist. "a fuck, thank you... thank you, Yunho," you heaved a deep breath while holding on to his arm. You smiled at him before pulling off gently, patting his arm, "are you okay?" he asked as you both walked into the building. "Hm? What do you mean?" you asked in confusion, "nothing, I just noticed you seem restless the past days?" Yunho felt like what he may have heard from your room was something else based on how you've been acting the past days. "Oh, yea, there's just a lot of things to deal with the past days, hence, this result," you could only chuckle, "go go, I'll wait for you guys out here" you gently pushed him in, and you watched he go, you could only sigh.

If only you were brave enough to tell them what you're going through, it probably wouldn't last this long, but- you kept thinking, what could they possibly do either way?

 The day went as normal as it usually would; photoshoot done, interviews done, other stuff taken care of, finally. Everyone's finally home; you went straight to your room and plopped on the bed. There's barely enough energy in your body; you blacked out fully clothed and with complete make-up.

 Yet, despite the tiredness, it didn't stop the nightmare from coming in. This time, it felt too real. You're nearly shouting in agony, calling out Yunho's name, and there he was, barging into your room, seeing how beads of sweat roll down your forehead, colliding with your tears. "Y/n! Y/n!" he pulled you to him, hugging you to his chest, "wake up!" he shouted, loud enough to wake you back to reality, and you gasped for air. You were shaking in fear, your eyes constantly flowing. "Shh, I'm here," he spoke softly; he didn't want to spook you with why he was in your room. Yunho pulled off to cup your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumb, "how come you never told us?" he frowned in worry, "I... I don't know how to say it, but I have always been perceived as a strong person, but these nightmares have made me so vulnerable at night. I don't know what to do." your voice cracked as you spoke, Yunho could only wrap his arms around you- his hand soothing your back.

 “but... what are you doing here?" it hit you suddenly, "I was passing by when I heard you.... calling my name," your tears went back up at what you heard, and you pulled off to look at him, "what? What do you mean I called for you? huh?" confusion written all over your face. "You were calling for me, y/n- for days" he was looking down on you, and you were staring back up at him, "ah," was the only thing you could say. You know Yunho would never lie. "It's okay, I mean, like... I... if you need help, I'm here. That's what I'm trying to say," he felt defeated, "you know what, you... should go take a shower. You need it, y/n. Go on," he gently pushes you to stand up.  

I know it’s kinda cut too short but I was too excited to post! It’s my first story after 3892384991 years. Let me know how it is? ;;

[kaysfanficcorner]

Out of This World Chapter 4:

Smuggler’s Moon

Author’s Note: Welcome everyone! This chapter is one that I’m pretty proud of and I’ve been looking forward to sharing. I had a lot of fun with this one, and sincerely hope you enjoy! A few edits have been made since this was posted, as I realized that I forgot to change something. If you’d like to be added to the Taglist please let me know!

Summary: Things on Nar Shaddaa take a turn, and the Earthling is forced to take matters into her own hands.

Pairing: Din Djarin x Female Earthling Reader

Warnings: Cursing, blaster violence, death. This story is strictly 18+

AO3

*****

Spending several hours locked inside the Razor Crest with the little green kid under your charge and your orange feline is nothing new to you by now. After nearly seventy-five days of living on the Razor Crest, its quite the normal routine. You’ve stayed put for all of Mando’s hunts thus far, sometimes for days, so its not a huge deal. What is new to you is the fact that a dangerous alien species might want to eat your brains because you’d agreed to be Mando’s bait. On top of that, you can’t help but feel as if the events over the last couple of days have led to you feeling much closer to the Mandalorian. So your worry for his safety is more at the surface than you’re used to. 

Anxious, you find yourself pacing back and forth in front of the open cot when four and a half hours have gone by without a word from your cosmic companion. You’ve been avoiding using the coms to call him for fear of interrupting the hunt, but its getting late. Mando himself said that Smuggler’s Moon is much more dangerous after nightfall, so as soon as the sun sets you feel incredibly perturbed. The beauty of Nal Hutta’s rings in the dark sky isn’t even enough to ease your mind. 

Inside the cot, the kid is curled up in your black blanket looking cozy as ever. His facial expression, however, is anything but cozy. Ears cast downward, your nanny child looks up at your pacing with worry in his large eyes and a frown on his little mouth. When you stop to look down at him, he makes a noise of displeasure.

“Yeah I don’t like this either, kiddo.” You agree, eyes flicking to the com-link on your wrist. “I should just call him, right?”

The kid responds with a little babble, and you nod. 

“Call him it is,” you say with a sing-song tone of fake cheerfulness. “Hopefully this isn’t a bad time.”

Holding your wrist up in front of your face, you click the call button and a little beeping noise  goes off after a second. “Mando?”

“Is everything alright?” Mando’s voice filters through, immediately calming your nerves a little.

“Yeah we’re fine, I was just checking on you.” You say back, sitting down on the edge of the cot while leaning back to run a gentle hand over the kid’s mildly hairy head. “The kid misses you.”

“Just him, huh?” There’s a lightly comedic tone to the Mandalorian’s voice, and you can’t help but think he sounds slightly flirtatious.

“I mean, I guess I do too.” Quipping back with an air of flirtation yourself, you allow yourself a moment to enjoy the feeling this stirs in you. Then you force your voice to grow a little more serious, “It’s getting late, is it sketchy out there?” 

Crackling filters through the speaker at first, followed by his voice again, “Nothing I can’t handle, but there’s no sign of the Anzat anywhere. I’m on my way back to the ship now. We can try again tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan. Come back home and rest.” You say, content with the knowledge that he’s coming back in spite of your unease with the Anzat being out there somewhere. It won’t occur to you until much later that you’d used the word home to describe the ship. 

“Mm,” he responds with a pleasant sounding hum. The com-link makes anther beeping noise, and he’s gone.

About fifteen minutes or so later, the hatch of the Razor Crest opens and the familiar glint of silver heading up the ramp fills your stomach with butterflies and your chest with relief.  

The baby coos happily and jumps down from the cot, running on his little legs to meet his foster father as the ramp is closing again. Mando squats down to scoop up the kid in his arms, hugging him to his chest in a fatherly embrace as he stands to full height again.

“Hey buddy. Yeah, I’m back. It’s okay,” Mando soothes as the child nestles into him. Then the helmet turns slightly to fix upon you. “Thank you for keeping him safe.”

“He’s my top priority,” you say, “but you’re welcome.” Jupiter is circling your legs, so you squat down to pick her up with a chuckle. “Jupiter helped too. I’m pretty sure she loves him more than she loves me at this point.”

The two of you just stand there for a moment, each of you holding your respective well-loved creatures as you stare at one another. 

After a beat, Mando sits the kid on a crate and starts to strip himself of his weapons. Letting  Jupiter jump from your arms, you move to stand beside him and unstrap the blaster from your thigh before handing it to him to be hung up.

“So am I going out with you again tomorrow?” You ask, tilting your head to look up at him.

The Mandalorian nods, hanging your blaster next to his. “If you’re up for it.”

“I am. I saw a few things I’d Ike to check out if I can,” you reply.

“Hungry?” He asks, turning to face you once his weapons are all put away in their proper places.

Holding a hand to your stomach you grin, “Starving.”

“Would you like to assist me? I could show you how to prepare some of the vegetables we bought today.” His voice sounds so lovely, and what he suggests is so domestic that your heart melts a little.

“I’d love that,” you nod, “If I’m being completely honest, listening to you explain stuff is kinda my new favorite thing.” 

You’re so sure of yourself up until the words leave your mouth, but once they do you’re feeling slightly bashful all of the sudden. Mando’s very being is doing things to you that you haven’t felt in such a long time. It feels ironically alien, as if you’ve completely forgotten how to act in front of someone you’re attracted to.

But then Mando surprises you with his own words as they mirror yours, and the trepidation in you melts away. 

His head tilts in that way that you love so much, “If I’m being completely honest, I enjoy providing you with new information more than you know.”

And so you cook with him, standing shoulder to shoulder in the tiny galley area as he explains some of the meager spices he has on hand. Where each one comes from, what its made of, and what combinations work best together. Then he shows you how to work what is essentially a hot plate that he rigged up himself using spare parts. This ship was not designed for long term living or luxury, it had been designed for military use. So in order to make it livable, Mando has been making little upgrades here or there over the years to make the Razor Crest into a sort of mobile home.

A silly thought crosses your mind while you are thinking about this, eliciting a snort and a laugh from you.

Mando’s head turns from focusing on sautéing the blue tinted broccoli-like vegetable matter, to focusing on you. His body language is some of the most relaxed you’ve seen from him despite where the four of you are and the hunt that still needs to take place. 

His baritone chuckle filters through the helmet’s modulator, “What could possibly be funny?”

“I’ve told you about the vehicles we drove on Earth, right?” You ask, still laughing at yourself all the while. He nods, so you continue, “Well some people had these huge vehicles that encompassed very tiny living spaces to make long term travel more comfortable. We called them mobile homes, or RVs. It just occurred to me that the Razor Crest is your version of a RV. I’m gonna call it the Space RV from now on.” 

The mental image of Mando and the kid sitting in the front seat of an old 80’s Winnebago is so hilarious that it makes you cackle, throwing a hand onto Mando’s shoulder as you lean your head back and hold your stomach with the opposite appendage. What really gets you is that you imagine both Mando and the kid with little Mickey Mouse ears as if they’re driving back from Disney World. Mando’s helmet with black ears on top is such a ridiculous notion.

The Mandalorian looks to where the kid is sitting on a tall stack of crates in order to be level with the two adults, shaking his silver head. “Do you understand why she thinks that’s so funny? No? Yeah neither do I, kid.”

When you finally stop laughing, wiping a stray tear from your left eye, you let go of Mando’s shoulder to stand up straight again. “Oh man, that was great. My cheeks hurt from laughing so hard.”

“Such a strange woman,” Mando says, chuckling again.

“You like it,” another bout of courage emerges from within you.

“I do,” he agrees, leaving you a smiling mess. 

In an effort not to over do the flirting too quickly, you redirect your attention to the kid. As much as you’re enjoying this new level of banter between yourself and the Mandalorian, it’s probably best to ease off a little.

“What do you think about it, Green Bean?” Scooping the child up into your arms, you swing him a around a few times before dancing to and fro as you bounce him. Humming one of his favorite Earth songs as you boop your nose into his, the kid squeals with delight while grinning up at you.

“You’re talented with him. Do you want one of your own one day?” Mando suddenly asks, voice earnest.

“A kid?” Halting your movements, you look down into the huge dark brown eyes of your nanny child and run a finger along one of his long ears. His mouth opens and closes as he babbles. “Honestly? If I have to give birth to it, the answer is no. Pregnancy, or rather the idea of having to go through it myself, has always made me super uncomfortable. I’ve always said I’d adopt a child if I had the right partner to do it with, though. There are too many little ones out there in need of a loving family. Having a biological offspring isn’t important to me in the slightest.”

“That’s a noble way to look at it,” he says after a moment. “Any foundling would benefit from having a mother like you.”

“Thank you for saying that.” Your heart swells at the compliment, and to hear him speak of you in such a way. “You’re great with the kid too, Mando. You’d make a wonderful dad.”

The Mandalorian suddenly sounds vaguely dejected, his shoulders dropping slightly. “I appreciate that.” 

You frown, noticing his change in demeanor. “You okay?”

Coming to stand directly in front of you, Mando reaches a gloved hand out to stroke the kid’s head. “Just don’t want to think about the day he’s not here anymore.” 

The two of you look down at the little green baby, waves of sadness washing over you. Mando’s probably feeling something similar, if not worse. The kid babbles and wiggles his clawed hands around, adding to the conversation in his own little way.

Your eyes flick up to the black visor, and your hand unconsciously rises to cup the side of the beskar as if you’re cupping Mando’s actual cheek. He doesn’t flinch or try to stop you from touching the helmet. This is the first time you’ve ever felt it’s cold exterior on your fingertips. “Then don’t think about it right now. Just enjoy him. Enjoy this time with your foundling.”

After handing the child to the Mandalorian, its very clear that he’s having a deeply emotional moment. The way he gently presses his helmet to the child’s forehead while holding him in such a loving manner causes you to get misty eyed. Staying quiet, you move to finish up with the meal. Mando already completed most of the work, so there’s not much left to do anyway.

A somber silence falls upon the Razor Crest as you stir the blue vegetables and Mando rocks his foster son back and forth. 

*****

The following morning Din wakes up to the sound of your soft humming. His helmet is on, he’s in the cot with the door open, his gloves are off, and he’s holding the sleeping child to his chest.

You’re on the other end of the room in the galley making a pot of caf, and since you haven’t noticed that he’s awake yet, Din takes a moment to appreciate your appearance. With messy hair in a heap above your head and very little clothing, you’re a sight to behold. On your torso you have on a dark purple sleeveless garment that covers your breasts but not much else, and on your bottom half you have on a pair of black pants which only reach down to mid thigh. Your socked feet are hip width distance apart and you’re bouncing on the balls of your feet as you wait for the caf to finish brewing. 

Just as Din is ready to alert you of his presence, you bend at the waist with your chest to your thighs and let your arms dangle below your head. You take a few deep breaths in this position and then you crawl your hands out in front of you and your body takes on an upside down V shape. After taking more deep breaths you extend one leg into the air before bringing the leg down in front of you. With knee and ankle behind each wrist, your other leg slides straight back behind you. You hinge at the waist and bend your body forward, forehead resting on stacked palms.

He’s seen you do this yoga exercise before, but on this particular occasion Din is completely mesmerized by it. Your flexibility and the possibilities of such a skill cause his mind to wander to unsavory places.

Then the child stirs with a loud noise, and the inappropriate trance is broken. 

“Morning guys,” You say from the floor, never once breaking the stillness of your pose.

“Good Morning,” Din replies, yawning softly after. The kid gets up and climbs across Din’s body before he hops down from the cot, moving over to where you’re changing poses.

“Hi, Green Bean. Just give me a sec and I’ll love on ya.” You’re finishing out the same pose but on the other side, and the kid ignores you by climbing onto your back anyway. You don’t move, but your chuckles shake him around a little. “Alright that works too, dude.”

As Din pries himself from the cot, he looks down to where your blanket and pillow are in a heap just outside of the cot. It had been made into a makeshift little sleeping spot the night before.

“Did you sleep okay there?” He asks, stretching his arms out as he stands to full height. 

“Yeah I slept fine enough. This whole Anzat thing is a little creepy so was just nice to be close to you both.” You reply, pushing yourself up with the child still sitting on your back as if he’s riding a blurrg. Slowly, he begins tipping to the left and his whole body inevitably starts to follow.

Din grabs him just as he’s about to slide off of you, and you take the opportunity to stand up again. “You can have the next turn in the cot,” Din says.

“I wont say no,” you groan a little and put a hand to your lower back, “I was doing yoga for a reason.”

“Perhaps when we are done with this I’ll see about getting a second cot put in.” Din watches you carefully as he makes this suggestion, knowing full well that it’s an invitation for you to stay on the Razor Crest for as long as you want. He wants to see if your reaction is as positive as he hopes it will be, and he’s not disappointed. 

Your eyes widen slightly and your mouth drops open into a wide grin. “Really?”

“If you’re going to stick around for a while, you’re going to need a proper place to sleep.” Din’s own grin is spread across his features under the beskar. 

To Din’s surprise you say nothing but instead close the distance between the two of you by hugging him around the waist, careful not to bump into the kid who’s still in Din’s left arm. The right hugs you back a little after a slight moment of hesitation. A beep suddenly goes off in the galley then, causing you to pull away from him sooner than he would have liked. Looking up at Din with a content smile, you kiss the green child atop his little head before moving to go deal with it. The tender sight of it is almost too much for him.

With your back to Din, you look over your shoulder slightly and ask, “Caf?” 

“Please,” Din agrees with an almost dreamy voice, chest so full after such an innocent display of affection towards his foster son. He’s well aware that he’s allowing himself to become entirely too attached to you, but at this point he’s not sure that it’s something he can help.

You bring him a steaming cup, motioning that you’d like to take the kid with your own cup in hand. “I’m going to hang out upstairs so you can have some privacy. The cat’s already up there, so come on, kiddo.”

Din doesn’t want you to go, so he reaches out a bare hand to grab your forearm. His thumb gently runs along the inside of your wrist a little. “You don’t have to.”

“I’m not comfortable invading your space.” You counter, frowning a little. Clearly, you’re confused as to what Din means.

Din thinks for a moment, feeling incredibly conflicted about wanting to be able to do something as simple as share a morning caf with his friend while not actually having that luxury. Then an idea strikes him and he hands you the kid, pulling up a rectangular crate. “Sit here,” he says, motioning towards one edge. 

Looking skeptical, you comply regardless and Din moves to sit on the other side of the crate with his back against yours. The two of you are pressed into each other while facing in opposite directions.

“Are you sure about this?” Your voice is clearly shocked by his suggestion, and he looks back to make sure you’re keeping the kid facing in the same direction away from him.

“I won’t lift it higher than my mouth,” Din assures you. “Before you came to stay with us, I used to do it while the kid was in the room and he never saw my face. I’ll be careful.” 

You stay quiet for a moment before Din hears you take a deep breath and let it out, accompanied with a pleasant sounding noise before you respond. “I promise that I won’t turn around until you give it the all clear. He won’t either, I’ll keep a close eye on him.” 

With that, you lean more of your weight into his back as you get comfortable and Din can hear you take a long sip from your steaming cup with a contented sigh.

So he lifts the base of his beskar helmet just enough to take a lengthy drink from his own cup, a warm contented feeling flowing through him along with the warmth of the caf running down his throat. 

*****

A few hours later, you find yourself back on the streets of Nar Shaddaa with the Mandalorian never more than a a foot or two away from you. This time you’ve donned the new clothes you purchased the day before, and its a look you could find yourself getting used to. Back on Earth you’d been so worried about what people thought of you that you rarely dressed in a way that suited your inner personality, even with the attempts you’d been making to break yourself of the toxic mentality that sprouted in your youth.

Living in this galaxy, indescribably far away from anyone who ever knew you, life feels more free than you ever thought possible. Here you feel more able to be your most authentic self, to present yourself in a way that fits in with the version of you that you’d like to be. It’s invigorating.

Following Mando, face once again hidden beneath the black hood from the day before and blaster strapped to your new suspenders, you feel like you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be in this juncture of your life. The idea of staying in this galaxy, of flying off on adventures to random planets with your cosmic companion and his alien kid, feels so right that the back of your head tingles as something akin to exhilaration flows through you. It’s beginning to sound like the most appealing option at your disposal, despite how the littlest part of you is still very conflicted. What’s going to change if the kid leaves? Palatable fear of heartbreak is also in your thoughts, heartbreak if the kid isn’t around anymore and if Mando never reciprocates your feelings. You don’t want your life to revolve around another person, but instead for his presence to become complimentary to your own.

Do I want this for the right reasons? You ask yourself, watching the Mandalorian guide you trough the crowds that somehow seem bigger than they had the day before. He’s playing a major role in why you can see yourself staying, whether you’d like to admit it or not.

Mind wandering to the morning, how it felt to sit back to back with him while enjoying your morning coffee together, another thought crosses the forefront of your mind. To Hell with the right reasons. You’ve over thought every decision in your life and that’s why you haven’t done anything with it. This could be your chance to finally live.

Watching the man you’ve grown very fond of weave in and out through the swells of various species bustling around, you can’t help but grin widely. Thinking about a life, a real one where your perpetual sense of autopilot is finally turned off, with the Mandalorian by your side leaves you a giddy mess. 

The Mandalorian in question then turns to check on you, and you’re sure the look of giddiness on your slightly hidden features is not mistaken for anything else.

“What are you smiling about?” He asks, stopping off to the side of the foot traffic.

“Oh, you know, this and that.” You reply, still grinning.

“Mm,” he hums, helmet dipping slightly, “What was it you wanted to do today?”

“Well this may sound silly,” you start, and he cuts you off.

Head tilting to the left, Mando’s voice drops a little so that only you can hear him. “You don’t have to preface what you want with an excuse. Ask.”

Although it’s a little hard for you to be upfront about what you want, you take a deep breath and look right into the visor where his eyes ought to be. “I’d like to get art supplies for the kid and I’d like to get my hair cut. It’s too long to properly manage and it’s been driving me nuts.”

His voice is clearly surprised, “Oh. Sure, you can do that.”

“I have no idea where to go, do they even have places like that here?” You ask, feeling awkward about getting a haircut in a place like Nar Shaddaa even though it was your idea to begin with. Hopefully this isn’t about to be a huge disaster that you’ll have to live with for a the next few months.

“Yes there’s actually a place up ahead. Will this take long?” Mando asks, and you shake your head.

“I mean maybe an hour tops if there’s no wait.” You reply, yelping when your shoulder is roughly bumped by a pedestrian who walks a little too close. Shooting a glare in the person’s direction makes you feel slightly better, but you look back to Mando with irritation in your voice. “Damn, that guy could have said excuse me or something.”

Mando watches the person closely for a few moments before his attention falls back onto you. “Would you be comfortable with it if I take care of a few things while you’re in there? I’ll be done before you so I can grab the things for the kid, and I’ll wait for you outside until you’re finished.” 

“Works for me,” you agree, waving your wrist carrying the com-link around. “I’ll call if I need you.”

“Likewise,” he says.

*****

Din is almost certain that the man who’d bumped into you is not entirely human, and so a red flag goes off in his head as soon as he gets a good look at the guy. Although Din didn’t get a good look at it, something about his face is just off. Particularly his slightly flared, bulbous nose and grayish skin tone. On top of this, it ad been no accident. The man had deliberately knocked his shoulder into yours. If Din were to bet on it, his credits would be on this man to be the suspected Anzat.

But why would he make his presence known on purpose? The only reason Din can surmise is that the Anzat is also hunting, and that had been some form of tactic on his end. Din wishes desperately that he hadn’t been foolish enough to take a bounty puck for a species that he only carries basic knowledge of.

He could be endangering the kid and he could be endangering you. And why? Just because he’s confident in his abilities both as a warrior and a hunter? But what if that’s not enough?

Regardless, Din decides not to alert you to any immediate threat as he drops you off at the beauty shop. Once he’s sure that you’ll be there for the next hour or so, he heads out into the crowded market in search of the possible Anzati man. Din hopes to Maker that leaving you on your own isn’t a huge mistake.

The better part of a half hour goes by, leaving Din with no trace of the man he’d seen earlier. He picks up some art supplies for the kid per your request when he stumbles across a small stand for it, along with a few personal items for himself at another, but he’s never not on high alert. 

Which is why it startles him some when a vaguely familiar voice interrupts his train of thought.

“Oh, so the Mandalorian is back,” it’s the elderly Twi’lek from the day before. Somehow Din’s ended up back in front of the jewelry stand. “Where’s your wife?”

“Not my wife,” he says curtly.

“Whatever she is to you then, where is she?” The woman croaks, coughing after.

“What does it matter?” Din responds, turning to walk away from the woman entirely.

“She must be important. A man paid me a lot of money to tell him where the two of you went yesterday.” She smirks, “If you meet his price I’ll tell you where I last saw him. I’ll even throw in that cheap necklace your woman was admiring for free.”

Din’s spine straightens, muscles tightening. He turns back to face the Twi’lek with loose morals and moves to stand in front of her. “How much?”

“Fifty,” she says evenly, and Din drops half the amount of credits on the table without hesitation. She looks down at it with a scoff, then back up to the Mandalorian. “That’s twenty five.”

Protecting the ones he cares about is his only priority in this moment. His hackles are more than raised. Din squares his shoulders and fixes her with a glare beneath the beskar. “If you told him where we were going then you don’t deserve anything at all. I’m being generous.”

The old woman fixes Din with a hard stare before her features melt back down to uninvested and she shrugs her shoulders, looking away. “Suit yourself.”

Din carefully sets his blaster down on the table and points it at her, voice low and even as he leans forward. “I wouldn’t kill an old woman, but I would definitely ruin her afternoon.”

Green hands in the air as a sign of surrender, the woman shakes her head. “Fine, I’ll take the twenty-five.”

Din puts the blaster back in its holster while she scoops up the credits and stows them away in a pocket. The Mandalorian continues to glare at her, hoping that his body language is getting his anger across. “Speak.”

“I told him that you were going back to your ship. I heard you name the vessel when you walked off with her. He passed by here again earlier today, but I did not speak to him.” Her unhelpful response makes Din want to shout, but he stays cool. 

“Do you know anything else about him? Where he went after you saw him?” 

“He went down towards the food stands. That’s all I know. But I’ll tell you this: I think he’s not human.” Shaking her wrinkled head, she repeats the last statement. “Definitely not human.”

Din stands to full height again, turning his back to the woman. “Thanks,” he says, wanting to add  a ‘for nothing’ but decides not to. 

But then her voice picks up again so he stops. “If I’m right, you might want to be careful. His kind can control the minds of others in order to get what they want. Some kind of genetic ability.”

Stomach turning, a suddenly nauseous Din Djarin processes this information while deciding that he is, indeed, a fool. He’s got to get you back to the ship as soon as possible.

On his way out from under the Twi’lek’s canopied stand, he sees the planet necklace you’d admired the day before and he pauses to look back at the old woman with his hand hovering over it.

“Go ahead, I’ve got a whole crate of those. It’s shiny junk.” She waves him off, turning her attention to something mundane on the table

Din pockets the necklace and starts to head back in your direction when his com-link beeps.

“Hey, Chrome Dome. I’m almost done, where are you?” Your voice filters into his helmet’s speakers. 

“I’ll be there in a few minutes. Stay put.” Din’s on edge, and knows that he probably sounded as much to you.

“Copy that,” your reply comes, and with a another little beep your voice is gone.

Din takes off in your direction briskly, well aware that the Anzat could be close by. This is man a hunter and Din knows the language of a hunter better than any of the many languages he can speak. 

He rounds a corner after a long five minutes of dipping and dodging, and Din sees you standing with your back to him in front of the beauty shop. Your hood is up but when he recognizes your body and clothes right away, a sense of relief washes over him. The Anzat may be close but now that Din has you he can get you back to the kid and deal with the brain-eater in the only way he knows best.

When he approaches and you turn to face him, pulling back the hood once you realize it’s him, you barely look like yourself for the first few seconds he’s observing you. Din says your name in a questioning tone and then adds a stunned, “wow,” when he truly takes in the sight of you.

Your wild hair, once long and unruly, is cut nearly as short as his own hair is beneath the helmet. It’s the shortest in the back and gets longer in the front, with wavy pieces falling elegantly across your forehead. On top of such a drastic change, the color has been altered to a dark shade of purple. 

Din is so floored that he momentarily forgets that there’s danger afoot, wishing that he could reach a bare hand out to touch it. 

“I’m obsessed,” you say with a grin as you reach up to move it around on your forehead a little, clearly more than happy with the results. “They used some guck from a morogian snap plant to dye it. Apparently the color will hardly ever fade, and it didn't take as long as a dye job back home. I would have been too self conscious to try hair like this on Earth, but I’m so happy that I went for it.” Then your face suddenly becomes bashful, voice taking on a timid tone. “You like it?” 

“Mesh’la,” Din breathes, then quietly adds on for your benefit, “beautiful. Mando’a for beautiful.”

Cheeks flushing, you dip your head in a nod. “Thank you, ner burc’ya.” 

Then you notice the bag he’s carrying and ask if he got the supplies for the kid, and Din snaps back into reality. The effect you have on him is worrisome if it can distract him this much.

“You need to get back to the Razor Crest. We may have a problem.”

*****

Ranik A’kazz follows the woman and the Mandalorian all afternoon, attempting to break into the woman’s foul smelling mind for most of it. She appears to be the weaker of the pair, and so he assumes that entering her mind will be one of the easiest attempts he’s ever made. 

Ranik assumes wrong. No matter how close he gets, he cannot break into the mind of the woman to save his life. It must be whatever is wrong with her that makes her smell so awful. Perhaps where she comes from is a tainted place. 

No matter the reason, Ranik is unsuccessful and must give up. Even though it pains him to have attempted it, he cannot even break in after making physical contact out on the street. Touch usually creates an instant link, and this results in nothing whatsoever. Having to touch her is indescribably awful for Ranik, offending every single one of his senses.

After Ranik realizes he will not be able to break into the woman, he knows he must attempt to break into the Mandalorian. 

Then the pair goes their separate ways and he follows the Mandalorian from higher up, using his excellent skills in agility to climb along some of the buildings. Ranik watches as he stops to speak to the old crone at the jewelry stand again. The bounty hunter pays her for information regarding Ranik himself, and then moves on to find his woman again.

Ranik drops down once the Mandalorian is out of sight, moving swiftly to the jewelry stand. The old crone doesn’t even get out a word before Ranik puts a blaster to her head and pulls the trigger.

*****

Stomach in knots, you’ve got an uneasy feeling in the pit of your gut all the way back to the ship. The Mandalorian is booking it, so you really have to pick up the pace in order to keep up. Once you're inside and you know that the kid and Jupiter are still safe, the uneasy feeling doesn’t subside.

Out of breath, you pant, “Mando, please be careful.” You look up at him with a grimace. “I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is gonna happen.”

“I’m always careful,” Mando replies. You think he must have really noticed the contorted look on your face because he quickly adds, “I promise I’ll be as careful as I can. You be safe and take care of the kid.”

“I promise,” you say almost sadly, holding on to yourself. 

Then the Mandalorian surprises you by closing the distance between you and placing a hand on your shoulder. Leaning forward, he gently rests his beskar clad forehead to yours. The metal is so cold, your nose fogging up the visor a little as you realize that his eyes, his face, it’s all so close to you. 

What you wouldn’t give to kiss him.

“I’ll be back,” he says after a long moment. 

“You better,” you reply seriously.

Then you break apart, and he reminds you that the com-link is still open and you’re welcome to use it if you need him. You know to use it sparingly if he’s on the hunt, but the fact that you have it at your disposal is a welcome comfort. 

Mando scoops up the kid for a little hug before handing the baby over to you, he pats the cat on the head, and then he makes his way down the ramp of the ship. He turns to look at you as the hatch closes back up.

You hate seeing him slowly disappear, and you hate how vulnerable you suddenly feel without his presence. 

Sighing, you take the baby and the cat back over to the cot so you can shut the three of you inside while hoping for the best end result to this situation. Of course you bring the blaster in with you, just to be safe. Although you're still not a great shot, the practicing you’ve been doing with Mando has paid off considerably. You’re much better than you were a few weeks ago.

There you spend the next hour fiddling around nervously on the iPad while checking the com-link every couple of minutes. The kid is preoccupied with your new hairstyle for a little bit but after a while he’s clearly getting bored, restless, and worried for his foster dad. It’s getting on your nerves a little but you don’t feel comfortable leaving the cot just yet. He’s fussy and on edge just like you are, and for that you can’t blame him. 

Suddenly, causing you to jump, the com-link goes off. The baby looks down at your wrist with a concerned look on his face, ears casting downward. 

“Hunt is almost complete,” Mando’s voice filters through, but something about it sounds completely off. Your heart sinks with dread. “I’ll be back to the ship soon.”

Perhaps you feel as if he’s off because you’re not used to speaking over coms when he’s on high alert. You respond with, “Copy that,” and he goes radio silent again.

Within fifteen minutes you can hear the hatch of the Razor Crest open back up and relief floods your system. This entire situation has you so unnerved, and you’re looking forward to being done with it. 

When you hear the ramp shut again, you press the little button beside the cot door and the thing slides up to open. The smile you were planning to greet your friend with drops upon seeing the scene before you. 

Mando is walking towards you with his hands behind his head, and he’s being followed closely by a man you’ve never seen before holding an open hand out towards Mando’s back. Instinctively, you move your entire body in front of the open cot to hide the kid.

“Can I help you?” You ask sarcastically, eyeing the stranger with a narrowed expression of distrust.

The man has a round bulbous nose, grayish skin, and seemingly human looking features. Long brown hair tied back and tan colored clothing make him look less harmless than he actually seems to be. If he has Mando held up, he’s clearly dangerous. 

“So you’re the one who smells so repugnant,” the man says, holding back an obvious gag as he speaks to you with a strange accent. 

You snort, trying your best to play it cool even though you're losing it inside. “Aww! Thanks for the compliment, dickhead. What do you want?”

His facial expression changes from that of revolted, to one of obscene pleasure. “The child behind you, madam.”

You look down to see the kid peeking out from behind your legs. The cat comes out of the cot as well, hissing violently at the intruder. 

“Fat chance, dude. Mando, what’s going on here?” You address your cosmic companion, but he doesn’t answer. Nor does he move a muscle.

“The Mandalorian is under my thumb for the time being, I’m afraid.” With that, the man waves his hand and Mando drops down to his knees with a painful sounding thud. If he felt any pain from that, he makes no obvious show of it. The stranger continues, “My name is Ranik. I am the bounty your friend here was looking for.” 

Okay, so the Anzat has mind control powers. Although you’re absolutely terrified, an adrenaline fueled maternal instinct to protect the child takes over and allows you remain calm on the outside.

“Cool, nice to meet you. You’re still not taking our kid.” You reply evenly, fully aware of the phrasing.

“Oh but I think I am. There’s nothing you or your friend can do to stop me.” He then moves his hand away from Mando, who fully drops to the ground in a heap, and instead points his open palm out towards you.

A small prickling feeling starts at the back of your head, but that’s all that ever comes and it quickly fizzles back out. It feels just like an odd sensation you’d felt earlier that day in the market, the realization of what that means washing over you.

Ranik seems to grow frustrated by this, “What species are you? Your brain chemistry is unlike anything I’ve ever come across. Your soup is abhorrent.”

“Human,” you bite back, “I guess where I’m from we’re just built differently.” Taking a chance, you glance down at the kid and then to the blaster still strapped to your hip.

“Regardless, I’ll be taking my meal now.” Ranik draws out, and to your sickening horror fleshy tentacle like things begin to wiggle out of from little holes on either side of his face.

The protruding gray flesh is appalling, and when you imagine him using those to kill the child you’ve come to love, your stomach turns while your anger flourishes. 

On the ground Mando groans, curling up into a fetal position while cradling his helmeted head in his hands. He’s not going to be any help any time soon, and you quickly realize that this situation is entirely on you to handle. 

Just as you’re trying to figure out what to do next, Ranik’s hand moves down to point at the kid. Struggling to fight back, the green toddler puts his own hand up and closes his big brown eyes. His little arm begins shaking, and then his eyes open again. They seem to be glazed over, his arm dropping to his side as he starts mindlessly scooting out from behind your legs. 

Ranik has a mental hold over him. You do not allow yourself to panic, though, grabbing the blaster from your thigh and flicking the safety off just as Jupiter launches herself at Ranik. He cries out in anger as she digs her claws into his leg an bites down, batting her off of him with a force you do not appreciate. She’s unscathed, but he knocks her back a good five feet and your blood boils.

Seething between your teeth and scared out of your mind, you hold the blaster just the way the Mando taught you. “You’ve got one more chance to fuck off. I suggest you take it.”

The kid is nearly to Ranik now, the sickening tendrils from his face whipping around wildly. Almost as if the tendrils themselves are excited at the prospect of a good meal.

Ranik goes to bend over in order to pick up the child, and you fire. The first shot misses and Ranik stands up, angrily regarding you. 

“Your presence is becoming tedious, foul woman.” He spits, forgetting the child just long enough for you to fire again.

This time the blast hits him directly in the chest and you let out a scream of rage. You fire multiple times, peppering him with shots until he drops to the floor. Shaking all over, you run over to where the Anzat lay bleeding on the floor. He twitches, tendrils still waving around wildly as he makes little sputtering noises. Then he begins to pick himself back up, coughing up oddly colored blood all the while.

Without a second thought, you put the blaster to his head and pull the trigger.

Ranik crashes back down to the floor, the sick realization that you’ve just killed someone washing over your body. The blaster falls from your grasp with a loud clink on the ground, and you drop down onto your hands and knees. Dry heaving, you hold your stomach as you sob wildly. 

“What have I done?” Saying this over and over again, you fall over onto your right side.

Mando’s voice is in your ears then, saying your name. It’s weak, but he sounds like himself again. “Ugh, my head.” He groans painfully, attempting to pull himself up with shaky arms.

“Mando?” Your sobbing subsides for a moment when your need to check on him takes over, crawling over to where he’s trying to gain his bearings. The kid is sitting up next to his foster father, blinking wildly while holding onto his own head with little claws, face scrunching up in pain. Laying a hand on Mando’s chest, you touch the forehead of his helmet with the other as you peer into the visor.

“Wha- what happened?” He asks, shaking his head around. Once he’s able to sit up again, his breathing is heavy and strained. You break apart and slide back a little.

“I killed him,” you say quietly, arms holding onto each other as your rock yourself.

“Shit,” Mando curses, saying your name again followed by a string of apologies.

Jupiter comes over to sniff at the three of you, ensuring that the humans and her little green friend are still in tact, before hissing down at the body of the Anzat and scampering off. When you down look at his lifeless face, long tendrils still hanging limply from his cheeks, you fall onto your back as you panic once again.

The child waddles over to you and places a tiny hand on your forehead, and you start to sob even more hysterically at the thought of what would have happened if you hadn’t just killed someone. You grab him and hug him to your chest tightly, “I’ve got you, little Green Bean. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Then you pass out.

*****

Sever hours later, you awake in the cot with your blanket draped over you and Jupiter sleeping by your side. Head pounding in painful waves and body dripping with sweat, confusion fills your mind as to why you’re in bed and why you feel horrendously. You sit up as if your body weighs a ton, and you finally understand what people really mean when they claim to feel as if they’d been hit by a truck.

“Mando?” Calling out to the Mandalorian, you peer around your view of the first floor for a moment before your eyes land on an oddly colored stain on the floor and the memory hits you like a brick.

You see every moment of it play out before you, seeing the Anzat die by your hand as pang of nausea drops through your belly.

“Oh, fuck,” you exclaim, taking a few deep breaths with your eyes closed in order to try and clam yourself down. 

Suddenly Mando’s voice is in your ears saying your name and your eyes snap open. He’s crouching in front of the cot, watching you closely. The cat jumps down and runs off.

“Mando, I-I,” your lip begins to quiver as you stutter off.

“I’m very sorry that you had to do that,” he says gravely.

“I can’t believe I killed someone.” Your body starts to twitch and convulse with anxiety.

His shoulders square a little as he shakes his head. “You shouldn’t have had to. It’s my fault for taking this quarry. Taking a life for the first time is something that will be with you for a long time, but you protected the child, and for that I can’t thank you enough.”

“Where is he?” You’re asking about the kid.

“Sleeping in the pod over there. He’s worn out but he’s okay. Unfortunately this sort of thing isn’t new for him.” Mando responds, gesturing to where the closed pod is sitting on the floor nearby.

Thinking about how devastated the two of you would be if the child had been killed instead, some of the guilt you feel subsides and your nervous system evens out a little. You know that you may never not feel guilty for taking a life, but you were defending an innocent toddler from horrific murder. Saving the child means you also saved Mando from unspeakable heartbreak. As much as this is huge a shock to the system, you’re grateful that the ones you care about are still with you.

“It’s not your fault, Mando.” You say after a moment, sighing as you run a hand through your hair and are shocked by what you feel. “Oh shit, I forgot this is short now.” 

Mando also sighs, looking away from you. “I think it’s best that you stay on Nevarro when we return.” 

Your heart sinks, “What? What are you saying?”

“I endangered the child. I endangered you. I am not fit to care for him or to be your friend. I’m going  fulfill my duty by getting him to his people as soon as possible and you’re going back to Nevarro.” His voice is both strained and cold. 

“No,” you say angrily. 

“Yes,” he bites back.

“No. You’re not going to punish me or yourself for a mistake that wasn’t completely your fault.” At this point your head is pounding so badly and your temper is rising so much that you want to scream at him.

The Mandalorian’s head dips, “Your presence here is distracting. When I’m distracted, people get hurt. I don’t want to hurt either of you.”

You can’t help but argue, a storm of emotions thundering trough your body. “You haven’t hurt anyone. A stranger tried to hurt us. I feel sick knowing that I killed him but nothing was going to harm that baby while I was around. The only reason the kid is still here is because the Anzat couldn’t control my mind. And the fact that he controlled yours is not your fault. Nor is it mine. How could we have known that would happen? Without that being a factor you would have taken him down like it was nothing, and you know it. People fear you. I’ve seen it for myself. That’s because you’re good at what you do.” 

Looking back at you, his voice becomes bitter. “Taking the bounty was reckless and cocky. I should have learned more before jumping into it.” 

“So you make a mistake and suddenly we’re not allowed to be friends anymore?” Now tears are forming in your eyes, fists balled up in your lap. “That’s not fair.”

“I didn’t say that. I said I’m not fit to be your friend.”

“Yes you fucking are.” 

Crawling from the cot and onto the floor, you’re sitting on your knees right in front of him. Close enough to touch. He doesn’t say anything, just watches you, and his silence pisses you off. Angrily shoving at his beskar covered chest, a tear escapes from your left eye and runs down your cheek. He doesn’t budge, continuing to watch you closely.

Letting out a guttural noise of frustration, your brow swoops down to narrow at him. “I killed that guy to protect the little one we both love dearly. I also killed him to protect you. You are my friend. In fact, you’re the best friend I’ve had in a very long time. I am not going to give up on that because this happened, and if you did it would kind of break my heart.”

Silence befalls you both. The Mandalorian’s movements are slow and precise as he crawls forward and turns to lean his back against the wall, grabbing you around the waist to pull you to him. You’re suddenly seated between his legs with your back pressed to his body, warm in spite of the beskar. Arms still circled around your waist, he slowly takes both of his gloves off. The skin beneath reveals itself to you, breath hitching in your throat when the fingers of his right hand come to intertwine with those of your left. Your body melts into his and you feel like you could stay this way for hours.

“I’ve killed many people in my life in order to protect others. This is The Way,” he says after a moment, “but you are not Mandalorian. You have not been trained to fight like I have. To process what it means to kill another living being. I should have never put you in this position.” Leaning his head down to rest on top of yours a little, his beskar helmet is pressing into you. The metal feels even harder against your head now that there’s less hair to cushion it.

You grip his hand, tracing small circles into his tan skin with your thumb as you press back into the helmet gently. “But even still, I do not and will never regret my choice to save the kid. This is definitely going to fuck me up for a while but it’s my responsibility to heal from it, no one else’s. Something like this could have happened without your involvement, so please hear me when I say that I am never going to blame you for this. Life can be ugly sometimes, but the ones we care about are what make the ugly moments more bearable.”

“As foundlings we are taught that protecting our fellow Mandalorians at all costs is essential to our way of life,” Mando begins to explain, “Our creed dictates that loyalty, solidarity, and keeping one’s word are all traits of a true Mandalorian warrior. Today you wore the traits of a Mandalorian and you wore them well. You may not be one of my kind, but I believe you have the heart of a Mandalorian. There is a warrior somewhere within you.”

At first you don’t really process how significant what he just said really is, and then it hits you. Your mouth falls open as you blink a few times. “Wow. Thank you. That’s probably the best compliment I could ever receive from you, Mando.”

Words taper off for a few minutes, the two of you holding each other on the floor of the ship you both consider to be home. Then the stillness is broken when the Mandalorian suddenly speaks again, voice a low hum within his armor-plated chest.

“Din,” he whispers in your ear, arms tightening around you considerably as he says it. 

Leaning your head to rest on his shoulder, you look up at him and whisper back, “Is that Mando’a for something?” 

“It is my name,” he breathes, “Din Djarin.”

Your heart is both heavy and full at the same time, chest swelling with more emotion for him than you can really process in such a weakened state. “Din,” you repeat quietly as a sleepy little smile spreads across your face. “It’s handsome, and it fits you so well.”

“Only others of my kind or those I trust completely know my true name.” Din’s baritone voice sounds so much more lovely to you now that you have a real name to put to it, to the man who has slowly been bewitching you for weeks on end.

You want to say it a million times, adoring the way it rolls off of your tongue. “I understand. Thank you for trusting me, Din.”

“Thank you for saving us,” he responds, “I am in your debt.”

“Just save my ass next time the occasion calls for it and we’ll be even,” you laugh a little, then when the ugly memory runs through your mind again you grimace. “Ugh, I feel like shit. The guilt is eating me up inside and its making my head hurt.”

“I know,” Din says soothingly. “When we get to Nevarro I’ll get a room with a real bed for a few days. You need proper rest.”

As he says this, the child’s pram opens up and his little green head pokes out. He looks just as exhausted as you probably do and how you assume Din also looks under the beskar. Slowly, the kid climbs out of the pod to come join his humans. Little legs carry him to the two of you, noises of discomfort leaving him as he does so.

When the kid climbs into your lap and nestles into your stomach, you run your free hand over his small head while still squeezing Din’s fingers with the other. Din’s free hand moves to his foster son, a three-clawed green hand wrapping around Din’s thumb as the kid holds him back.

You sigh, “All three of us need proper rest, Din.” 

“Mm,” he agrees with a hum. Then a slap-happy, giddily little laugh erupts from you, causing Din’s chest to rumble beneath you. “What is it?”

A loopy grin spread across your face, you snuggle into his beskar covered shoulder more as you cradle the child. “I just can’t believe I know your real name. I love saying it.”

“I love hearing it said in your beautiful voice.” Din nuzzles his metal covered head into you. “I’m sorry that I considered leaving you on Nevarro. Fear poisoned my thinking.”

“I forgive you,” you accept his apology, “and I’m afraid too, if it makes you feel any better. All of this scares the hell out of me.”

Without much forethought, you pull his hand up towards your face and press your lips to his knuckles. Din makes an indistinguishable but attractive sounding noise, and you can’t help but feel a little proud of yourself for causing it’s occurrence. 

*****

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Masterlist

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Taglist:

@luc-k-y | @theslytherinwriter | @somewereinthegalaxi

[oftenderweapons]

Every Little Tomorrow | KNJ

Pairing: Namjoon x reader (nicknamed Vixen)

Wordcount: 2.8k

Genre: angst, fluff, hurt to comfort

Rating: suggested 18+

Synopsis: As they make their way back to each other, and adjust to the changes their lives are going through - and will have to go through - Namjoon and Vixen step into the next chapter of their lives together.

Warnings: There are angsty bits related to self-consciousness due to pregnancy and post-partum body. Extremely serious topics are touched, such as intimacy issues, the husband stitch, medical malpractice, and birth complications. Some side-effects of pregnancy are also mentioned (mostly light topics, such as body temperature, hormonal imbalances, and other blood-flow related issues). If you are sensitive to themes such as "bouncing back" after a pregnancy, and fearing your partner might leave you after your body changes, or that your intimate life might come to a halt after having a child, this fic could feel a bit heavy, though Vixen's worries are met with understanding and tenderness on Namjoon's behalf.

If you have struggled or are struggling with accepting your body after bearing a child/children, or you think that becoming a parent put a strain on your relationship, I want you to know I am close to you and you can come to me to just rant and let it all out. You are not alone, and you are understood. Your feelings are always, always valid. I love you, and I've got you 💜

As usual, I'm leaving you my masterlist linked right here, and the fic's below the cut!

Your index finger ran aimlessly up and down the bridge of Namjoon’s nose. You were propped on your elbow, the comforter rolled up to cover your naked chest. 

He looked so peaceful. 

The last five months had been a nightmare. When you’d decided, together, for you to go off the pill, you hadn’t expected anything, and he hadn’t either. 

You’d just been happy at the prospect of someday, potentially, eventually, starting a family. In the future. 

Neither of you had meant it as a “right now”. It was more of a “if we get pregnant, we’ll arrange”. Even more of a “we’ve stopped not wanting kids”. 

But going from that to actually having them…

You just shook your head and chuckled at the irony of it all. 

Of course you’d got pregnant way before either of you — and your obgyn — had expected. 

And the fact that Namjoon had been working way more than usual, to the point that he sometimes stayed at the studio— well, it had bugged you to the point that when you found out you were pregnant and he forgot about the dinner you had arranged to tell him, you had decided to put him on hold. 

He had managed to bring you home a few days after your escape, mostly because morning sickness and your general wellbeing were putting you at risk. 

The main reason you were convinced was that it wasn’t just one baby you were carrying, but two twins, and with Namjoon’s recurring nightmares you couldn’t afford leaving him alone. 

The two months following your return home were almost as difficult as the two months spent in his absence. 

It was constant fits and starts, with Namjoon’s enthusiasm and your cold feet, your fear, your health continuously wobbly. 

And the cold. You’d never felt so cold, and a few seconds later, you were hot all over. Your body entirely lost its homeostatic function. As if your blood wasn’t enough to keep you heated through the day, and then suddenly it came all bubbling up.

You ran him insane with your kicking off the blankets, then burrowing back in them, then asking for more of them, just to start all over again five minutes later. You went about your day in a t-shirt, with a button down on top, with a sweater on top, and then an extra throw in your bag, just in case the cold got to you. Not to mention the fact that you started storing a blanket even in your office, and your feet, for now only occasionally swollen, were perpetually freezing.

You were scared all of the time, and when you weren’t scared, you were either nauseous or hungry. Sometimes both, which is a seriously ludicrous and unfortunate combination. 

And Namjoon treated you like a vessel made of glass, always considerate, always gentle, to the point that it almost hurt being around him. 

You just wanted him back, the way it used to be, your reckless, relentless lover, and not this museum guard who treated you like a delicate painting — or maybe, the frame of it, because for several weeks it was like you were simply the person carrying his children. Not his wife, not his lover, not his person. 

You spent hours crying in secret, imposter syndrome choking you as you felt pampered and loved just as a means to an end, as a way to love the babies inside you, and not the person that you are. 

It was a slow, heart-shattering agony, until you told him, broken and exhausted, that you couldn’t handle it. 

But now, there you are, his heart strong under the palm of your hand. 

You aren’t cold, mostly because of the thermoregulating blanket he’s got you. But also because of your husband. 

His eyes open, lazy slits shining just a shard of his pupils as he aims his gaze your way. “Was I good enough?” he asks, a lopsided smirk on his face.

You nod. 

After almost a month of therapy, you and Namjoon have found a way to reconnect, and it felt so right. 

After rushed encounters that felt more like hooking up than making love, today had been it. 

Today felt like a milestone. 

Your hand traces his stomach. “You’re always good to me.” 

“Last time I wasn’t.” 

You wait, tracing patterns on his skin, collecting your thoughts. Last time you’d been so passive, almost indifferent, that you’d both given up on having sex in that moment. 

“Last time was complicated. I felt very… Disconnected.” You try to get closer to him but your belly gets in the way. It’s not large yet, but it’s there, foreign, somehow.

Namjoon reads the disappointment in your eyes and rolls you onto your other side, spooning you. “It scared me. We’re already struggling with our words, and when we don’t talk things out we usually— I felt like I was losing you for real.” 

You sniffle. “It’s because I was losing myself, first and foremost. How could I help you hear me when I couldn’t hear myself?” 

Namjoon kisses your nape, the side of your neck, your temple. “But we’re here now. I’m here. I’ve got you.” He pauses. “I’ve got you, on top of all my priorities.” He cups your face, kissing you on the mouth as you both stretch. “Just you. My wife. My companion. And then it’s the kids. But they will always, always come after you, okay? Even if it’s just a millisecond, they come after you, love.” 

You burrow yourself deep into his hold. 

“You know about my parents… They never loved each other like we do. They married, they fell into a polite companionship. Mother had me, and birthing me left permanent marks on her. Father loved her so much he never asked for another child after me, but I guess Mother always blamed herself for not giving him a son. A heir.” 

Namjoon noses at your hair, his fingers tracing the ridges of your collarbones. “I guess you never told me.” 

You shrug. “Having me created a gap between my parents. I don’t want us to be like that.” 

He hums in acknowledgement. “But you said it first. They never loved each other like we do.” 

You turn your head to the side, your hand wrapping around his. “I’m afraid still, at times. We won’t have the time or the energies we had before. I’ll be tired. My body will change, I won’t have as much time as before to take care of myself, and the twins—” You shake your head. “They’ll destroy me, Namjoon.” 

Fear grips him out of the blue. He grips you harder. “I won’t allow them. I don’t care about how your body will change. No ‘bounce back’ bullshit in here. You will have the body of a wondrous woman who grew not one, but two lives inside her. In my personal perspective, that’s an honour. Large one. But I’m here for it all. You want surgery to go back to what you used to be? Fine, I’ll book all the appointments with all the best surgeons. You want to have free weekends without the kids? I’ll arrange. We’ll find babysitters. And I’m their father, it’s not like you’re parenting alone, okay?” 

“What if you don’t like me anymore?” Your voice is weak, fragile. “I mean, I’ll change down there too and—” 

“And what? I won’t enjoy having sex with you?” You can tell he’s stressing by the way he was struggling to hold you. “You think I’m going to love you less? You think I’m going to crave any less the feel of being inside you?” He shakes his head. “I’m speechless.” 

You turn around fully this time. 

“You think I’m a piece of garbage like that?” 

You frown, sadness like a cloak on your linings. “I’m not saying that, I’m just worrying whether we’ll have that same connection, the chemistry that brings us together.”

He cradles your face and kisses your lips. “You have no idea, do you? The effect that you have on me. You’re my ride or die, babylove. You were since the night I almost lost you, when you called it quits. Remember? Before you came to my studio, and I told you that I love you.” Namjoon presses his forehead to yours and it almost hurts. “I bet my everything on you, Vixen. We gotta win this race. And then we’ll keep running, baby.” He breathes in your exhale, the two of you coexisting as an ecosystem of your own. Outside the room, a raging concrete jungle grows, a whole metropolis full of millions of people. But again, that is outside your room. 

Now, here, it’s just Namjoon and you and the twin war drum hearts beating inside your belly. 

“We’ll keep running,” you say, brushing your cheek against Namjoon’s chest like a needy cat. 

“I’ve married you because I know you’re the only woman who I trust running as fast and as hard and as reckless as I do.” His voice cracks, and you try to comfort him more fiercely. “I know that sometimes being by my side is being condemned to run through the most unkempt paths, exploring, never feeling entirely safe, always feeling like I’m giving more attention to the scenery than to my companion. I know it sucks and sometimes I feel guilty for dragging you into this. But if it’s not you, then it’s nobody else, fox. No one else I’d be doing this with.”

Your eyes water, the hormones bringing you to the brink of tears. “Don’t say it like that. I knew what I was getting myself into. You’re not the only one who needs running. You’re not the only one who needs someone who can keep the pace.” You chuckle, even through the lump in your throat, through the tears. “You really think I’d have let anyone else blow me up like a balloon with their ginormous babies?” 

You manage to make Namjoon chuckle with that, which pleases you immensely. 

You even puff your chest in that specific “I’m extremely proud of my win” way.

“I wouldn’t have, sir. I’m doing this because I trust you.” You hold his face and he holds yours, both of you drying the tears the other has shed. “But I swear to god, if I get less sex, less love and less time than before, I will sue you. I will make Kitten draw won after won out of you. Understood?” 

He nods with surety. “But we’d go to therapy first and we would look for a way to solve things. Like we’re doing now.” 

“You think you’re the only ride or die in here?” You click your tongue in disappointment. “Nope. I have every interest in keeping you, so I won’t let go until I can’t hold you anymore. And I have two extra reasons not to let go, now. Two very large, very active and potentially very expensive reasons not to let go.” 

He chuckles. “Good thing money’s not an issue.” 

You arch your eyebrows in surprise. “You think I’m joking? Do you know the cost of a child?! In this economy?! Go figure two of them!”

Namjoon laughs harder and pulls you closer. “Come here, smart mouth. Let me worry about the economy. You just push these two out and make sure you make it out okay.” 

You bite your lip at the comment, knowing how much it costs him to joke on something he had nightmares about. 

“Can I keep them in here for another year or so…? Just to make sure they’re really, really ready.”

Namjoon traces the shell of your ear with his fingertip, his eyes deep and reassuring and meaningful as he scans your face, looking for any trace of fear. “I can’t allow you to hold them hostage. I want to see them. I want to touch their little hands and their tiny feet. You feel them with you everyday, all day long. I wish I could have that too.” 

You comb his hair away from his face, conveying the sweetness you feel for him. “I can lend them to you, if you’d like. Just so I can properly stretch at least for a few hours a day.” 

He tuts and sighs, playfully disappointed by your light-hearted joke. “I’m not kidding. Right now all I think of is that song about swapping places. I wish I could swap with you right now. Just to feel them live inside me. Feel them awaken and stretch and—” 

“Trust me, a lot more unpleasant, a lot less romantic.” 

His giggle caresses the hair at your temple. 

“They nap on your spine. Sometimes they move and suddenly you’re ready to fart so loud you’re gonna wake up the neighbours.”

Namjoon bursts out laughing so explosively that you aren’t even embarrassed about admitting that. You are overpowered by the joy of hearing him so undeniably, unarguably happy. 

“And that’s when you’re not thinking about pushing them out. Do you know how common it is for the perineum to rip?” 

Namjoon stops laughing. “Rip what?” 

“That lovely patch of skin that stretches from the bottom edge of the opening of the vagina to the anus. That can rip.”

Namjoon’s eyes go wide. “Really?”

You nods. “That’s why I’m worried about sex. You rip there and they’ve gotta stitch you up—”

“Stitch you up?” He is visibly shocked.

“Yes, they stitch the skin so it seals back, but it takes weeks to heal. Sometimes they even add an extra stitch. To make it tighter, you know.” 

He blinks and frowns. “What?” 

“It’s called the husband stitch. The entrance gets tighter because they make it smaller. They stitch back together more than what actually ripped.” 

“And people get that? Willingly? I mean, women want that?” 

You shrug. “Sometimes they do. Sometimes they’re not even conscious and it’s the husband making the decision.”

“Do you want that?” Namjoon asks, apprehensive and concerned. 

“I kind of don’t. It’s gonna be a warzone down there for a long time. It feels like it’s a silly thing to do. And tighter means more painful, so— It could just rip again, of course, there’s that too.”

Namjoon hisses, a disgusted look on his face. “Why would one do that…” 

“Pleasure. Wanting to feel ‘new’ again. Going back to before one had kids. The list goes on.” You toy with a lock of his hair, staring at it to avoid making eye contact with him. He still searches for your gaze. 

“And you don’t want that.”

“You’re not the kind of man who lacks in measures. And I’ll try fix my pelvic floor with appropriate exercises. But the thing with the hymen — the skin around the entrance — is that it’s elastic. Of course it won’t bounce back to what it used to be, but I’d rather it be a bit too loose than so tight that every time we have sex I feel like crying.”

Namjoon nods. “I never thought this existed in real life.”

You snicker bitterly. “Oh, it does. And there’s more of it.”

“What’s that called again? The stitch?” 

“Husband stitch.”

“I’ll look that up. It’s insane. And you tell me there are men who willingly tell their partner they want that?” Namjoon seems seriously concerned about the idea. 

“Yes. Some couples agree, others don’t. In some cases it’s the man giving permission to it without consulting his partner. Sometimes it’s the doctor that adds stitches, without anyone requesting them.”

Namjoon stays silent for several seconds before he exhales, collecting his thoughts. “We’ll talk about this with your obgyn. We’ll specify we both don’t want it and we’ll sue for malpractice if that happens.” He seems extremely resolute about his decision. After a while, he adds, “Do you think they’ll agree to belly binding? I read about it the other day and I mean, after carrying two babies I guess you could really benefit from it. Also, since you’re worried about your postpartum, and how much the belly will bother you afterwards, I think binding could be also for aesthetic reasons over the obvious health ones.”

You agree. “We’ll discuss it with the doctor. I really should make a folder with all the information we’re discussing, since twins usually come out early. We really don’t know when they’re gonna come.”

Namjoon pats your head and kisses the crown of it, your growing belly causing your and Namjoon’s body to turn into two very protective parentheses, bracketing the precious treasure the two of you made together.

“I can send an email in the morning. Just to make sure the stitch situation is laid down clearly. And for the binding.”

You nod, eyes fluttering close at his soothing touch. “Do you wanna hear about nipple calluses?” you ramble, half asleep.

“WHAT?!”

Thank you for reading! Always remember that a reblog and/or a comment can make a writer's day!

[heartbot-2002-2024]

Before I introduce the characters, I want to warn you that the color palettes of the characters will be tomorrow because you know that more than 10 photos in one post are not allowed

List of new characters:

1) Leonard

2) Arthur

3) Juleka

4) Blaze (the character is not mine, but I decided to add her to my AU)

5) Peak

6) Elsa

The events about Leonard, Arthur and Juleka take place after the events of the future fan fiction "Sonic Boom: Time Paradox" and Leonard and Blaze are the same age as Sonic and his friends and Smarty and his sisters

Let's start with Leonard. Leonard is an ordinary purple cat who was born to his parents. He is the older brother of Blaze, who has the ability of pyrokinesis. As a child, he dreamed of becoming an emperor, so as an adult he went to find an empty island where he would begin his reign. When he sailed away in search of the island, he suffered a hurricane that brought him to the island where Sonic and his friends live. When he woke up, he saw the children of Orbot and Cubot and their wives in the mobian version walking from afar. Leonard, noticing Tikki, immediately fell in love with her. Next, he met Sonic's Team and their children (yes, this happens a few years later, when Sonic, his friends, and Eggman's robots have children who are currently teenagers). The next day, Eggman, as always, attacks the village and Team Sonic with their children fight with him, but Doctor [DATA DELETED] also temporarily returns, but Team Orbot with their children began to fight them, who turned from robots into mobian versions. Leonard, seeing that the red robot, which looks like a Heartbot, turned into the same cat he saw yesterday, was shocked and loved her even more. After a double battle, Leonard decided to find out where Tikki lives. He asked Team Sonic if they knew a red robot that turns into a cat. They answered him that yes, and told him that it was Tikki and who she was and that Eggman's robots (that is, Team Orbot and their children) can turn into a mobian version thanks to the rings that Eggman invented for them, but they turn either at will or for battle (about the rings and there will be a post about this, but maybe sometime next week). Leonard was still in shock from this and he happily remembered the name of the girl he fell in love with. And in short, Leonard spent several days trying to win the heart of Tikki, who only refused him. But one fine night, when Tikki was sleeping in the mobian version, Leonard snuck in to her and with his anger told her why she didn't want to be with him and that he dreamed of being his future empress and that he wanted an army of children with her. And after those words, he impregnated her. But during this process, Tikki felt that she was in pain and she screamed in pain and called for help, which fortunately Orbot and Cubot came running with their wives and children. Upon learning this, Heartbot comforted her daughter, and Orbot gave Leonard a black eye and shouted at him never to come back and touch his daughter. Leonard left after that and later got to where Smarty lives with his sisters and Cowardbot. Leonard became friends with Smarty almost immediately, he also became good friends with the girls, and he did not immediately make friends with Cowardbot because he sensed with a sixth sense that he was a relative of his former love, but later also became friends with him. A few days later, Leonard developed feelings for Fenya that later he and Fenya became a couple

Next, Arthur and Juleka. They are the children of Leonard and Tikki. Juleka got the red eye color from Leonard's father. After Arthur and Juleka were born, Orbot did not know where to put the babies. On the one hand, he didn't want to leave, but on the other hand, he can't keep them, because they might one day ask where their dad is, whom Orbota kicked out of the village. And Orbot, thinking about it, decided that he would take them to the Roboken. But before that, Orbot made a ring for Juleka and by pressing a button on the ring turned her into a robot that looks like Heartbot and Tikki, but with different colors. He decided that it would be better if she grew up as a robot. After he really decided everything, Orbot said to the kids "I'm sorry, my kittens...". When he flew with them to Roboken, he asked the cyborg clones of Sonic and his friends to become foster parents of these babies, which the cyborg clones did not mind. As a result, Cyborg Sonic and Cybrog Amy became officially foster parents of Arthur and Juleka

Now Blaze. She is Leonard's younger sister and she is the only one among her family who possesses pyrokinesis. When she grew up, began to live her life and found her soulmate (guess who)

Let's move on to Peak. A pixie cat who is the father of Leonard and Blaze. He is rude by nature, but inside he understands what love is. Leonard inherited his character and appearance from him

And finally, Elsa. She is an ordinary cat who loves her children and her husband. Leonard inherited her eye color. Blaze is practically a copy of her, except for her hair

Interesting fact: Leonard is considered the "prototype" of a character named Peak from "13 cards", and his father is named after him

[f3mme-f4tale]

new possible series might get uploaded either tonight or tomorrow! and then appaloosa bones might get posted sometime later this week idk yet. also working on bbb!! i've hit a wall with a brew of history, so that work is on pause for the time being. if you want to be added to my general taglist for all works, just let me know

unrelated, but i applied for my first big girl job post college graduation in april!! it pays super well and is within my chosen field. fingers crossed lmao

and as always, free palestine! remember to not buy tlou2 remastered, boycott naughty dog and neil, and above all -- fuck z!onism :)

[elocinnicole]

Live Stream

Pairing: Collin Hoskins x OFC Black!Reader (Shauna Lewis) Rating: 18+ M for language, implied smut, praise kink (very slight, if you blink you might miss it) Summary: Shauna is live streaming her makeup routine when Collin makes an appearance. Requested: No, just a quick Drabble. I missed my favorite Pairing especially since I’ve been looking at Season 2 of Blindspotting. Word Count: 688

“Hey everyone! Thank you so much for the love! Keep sending in what look y’all want to see next. This was requested by one of my followers, they want a soft glam date night look. Which is perfect because my man is taking me out tonight.” Shauna smiled

Shauna started doing live streams and tutorials during the Lockdown when she couldn’t do hair. She quickly gained a decent following from her clients and then when she did the don’t rush challenge by herself she went viral. Her video gained almost a million views and was shared all over social media. Now that the pandemic is over, she still posts videos but now they’re of her doing her clients' hair or makeup. Occasionally she’ll live stream either herself or she has a client in her chair. For the most part, when she’s live streaming she’s by herself showing a makeup look, hairstyle, and most recently an outfit.

“So I’m gonna do my makeup, my hair is already done, I installed this wig yesterday and I will be posting that video on my YouTube—will I ever stream on YouTube? Probably not, I like using TikTok to stream. Who does your lashes? Me, girl! If you in Oakland come get lased by ya girl Shauna. Alright, let’s get started on these brows. Remember your eyebrows are cousins, not twins.”

Collin walked into your shared apartment after having dropped Zan off with Ashley and Sean. He has been planning this date night for months but either he had to work late, Shauna has a client, or nobody could watch Zan. Not that Collin and Shauna didn’t mind going out with Zan but sometimes they wanted to spend time together as a couple. He saw the bedroom door open which usually meant Shauna was recording content to post later on. Collin typically didn’t bother you when you were recording mainly when you were streaming, but if you were just recording a routine, Collin would at least say hi, knowing that you could edit it out.

“Alright, so here is the final look, like I said you don’t have to wear this exact outfit but this is the perfect date night look. I got this dress from Cider, the shoes, purse, and jewelry from Amazon. Don’t break ya wallet ladies, it’s not that serious. Oh, hey babe!” Shauna smiled seeing Collin standing in the doorway.

“Hey, baby.” Collin entered the room and kissed you gently, being sure not to mess up your makeup.

“How was your day?”

“Good, I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick, get changed, and we can head out. You gonna be done by then?”

“Yeah, I’m almost done. I’m not gonna post until tomorrow.” Shauna blushed at the way Collin was looking at her. Well, he didn’t have to do much to make her blush in the first place.

“I love your make up Shauna, it looks really good. I know you put a lot of time and effort into it.” Shauna smiled bashfully at the praise

“Thank you, Collin.” Then Shauna saw a familiar glint in his eyes. Before she could stop him, Collin wrapped his hand around Shauna’s neck causing her to crane her head up at him.

“I can’t wait to mess it up later,” He said huskily Shauna went wide-eyed

“Collin! I’m recording,”

“You can edit it out,” He replied grabbing Shauna by her waist and pulling her closer

“It’s live!” She stressed

“Huh?”

“I’m live right now!” Not believing her, Collin got closer, and sure enough almost 2,000 people saw and heard the whole exchange. Many people in the comments were sending laugh emojis or commenting on how cute the two of them are.

“Oh shit,” He mumbled Shauna started to playfully nudge Collin out of the bedroom. “What up y’all.”

“You about to get me shadowbanned! Go get ready.” Shauna closed the bedroom door and went back to her stream

“Alright, everyone, here’s the look I’ll post pictures on my Instagram. As you’ve seen and heard, I got some things to do. See y’all later! Bye!” sshhauna.lewis has ended the Live Stream

Tagging: @nikole-witha-k @blackpinup22 @iknowthekoolaidflavor @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @ramp-it-up @daveeds-wife @chattykathysquietsister @mellie-teh-goblin-queen @azxulaa @endless-romantic-stories @chrisevanswife0405 @gothic-slasherfan-weeb @pinkbonnetandglasses @cocobutterbaby @moxleys-fav @aonungmyaddiction

[thekingofwinterblog]

Yeah Hori seems to have sacrificed everything in the last chapter just for the twist/"comedic" moment of all might smashing the logo and having Deku live his dream again

Basically he ironically made it neither realistic nor a wish fulfilment ending, the worst possible scenario - just so the "reveal" could theoretically be more impactful (which is also dubious, seems if it was just pushed to a reunion the first year after graduating, hori could have kept that "oh I guess I have to live realistically while others have their dreams- psyche" thing, if he really wanted to have it, eh)

Yeah, im gonna make a bigger post about this sometime later(eithe rtoday or tomorrow), ut the big tonal problem with the final chapter is that it tries to be both tones.

It tries to be a full on bad or bittersweet ending, similar to how the previous epilogue chapters were, as reality ensues as Izuku lost his quirk, he became forgotten by the public(notice only hero otakus know who he is) because no matter how big his deeds were the system rewards long term success not the greatest heights, he didnt get together with the girl he likes, and his friends moves on withouth him.

But it doesnt have the bitter tone necessary to make it work, and subsequentially make the final twist work as a reversal either.

It instead portrays itself as this is just a happy ending with some sad but realistic consequences... Completely ignoring that this is(right up until the end) by all accounts a full on bad ending.

The whole his relationships breaking down and him building a quirkless life for hinself for 5 years does not work if it's within the context of "This is a happy ending" as the chapter tries to paint it.

If Hori wanted this happy tone despite everything that happened, he needed to go all in on it. Have izuku embrace his new life, if not Uraraka, have him marry someone else, hell a new character we had never met before would have worked better than what we actually got.

We needed to see him actually interact with students who love him rather than just a brief glimpse from Kota and having Aizawa talk about it.

The chapter needed to either be tragic enough for the twist to actually feel like a reversal, or just a glorious final note to wnd on.

It could not be both, but thats what it tried to be, and as such it failed.

Something changed in the production stage, wheter it was due to Hori or his editor, but exactly what im not sure, other than the fact the original ending would have involved Izuku hooking up with uraraka.

My guess is that his transitioning into Iron deku would have been much more brutal with him losing and replacing his arms with steel, mechanical ones permanently before the editor deemed it too brutal. Other than that, i dont care to spectulate.

[dragonbleps]

I can no longer hold my silence

who is dal? everywhere I go, I see his face. I've heard so much about the man and yet I don't know who he is. oc? sona? simply an incredible fictional character?

(aka I dont member but am intrigued so i'm specifically asking you to ramble about your guy. I need twelve paragraphs by noon tomorrow /lh)

you've activated mY TRAP CARD

MY BOY!!!

SO, Dal is my OC! Or, rather, Dal is the nickname for my TES OC, Dalamus Rex, but when talking about other AUs of him, I'll also use the name Dal often without clarifying, usually forcing people to either assume or figure out from context which version of Dal I'm talking about. A few of his AUs keep the Dalamus first name, or have a name that can be shortened to Dal, even if the name they actually go by is different (ie "Modern Dal" Damon Rex, whose birth name is Dalmatius). Sometimes, if talking about multiple Dalamus' in the same post, I might differentiate between them by using last names (Rex, Sarangerel, Strighym). Or sometimes I'll tag something as "Dal" because it applies to all of them, or vaguely makes me think of Dal even if it isn't entirely accurate to a specific version of him.

Clear as mud, right? WELL, allow me to go through the list!!! (All AUs are specifically AUs of Dalamus Rex. No weird permutations. Dalamus Rex is the origin of all and acts as the base.)

Dalamus Rex (he/him) is the original Dal, and one of two that can be safely assumed I'm defaulting to when I just say "Dal", (the other currently being Dalamus Strighym, and we'll get to him later). Dalamus Rex is a TES OC! He's a Dunmer/Bosmer (Dark elf/Wood elf) vampire who was originally intended to be a one-off antagonist for my other character, Thaerondil, to face. I felt I had hit a wall when writing Thaerondil, and needed something to force me to get him to mature a bit, so I started writing Dal. Dal was eventually supposed to just disappear or die and. Well. It's been 12 years and he's still here! And he's infecting the rest of my braincells.

Dalamus Rex started out life in Morrowind, to a family with a terrible father and a mother who tried her best but was treated just as awfully by her husband. I won't go into specifics unless asked, but you can search Dal's blog and find info (just mind the trigger warnings)! After his mother died, he ran from home and just kept running, eventually making his way into Skyrim at a young age. So while Morrowind might be his homeland, he basically grew up in Skyrim.

In Skyrim, he continued to use his stealth and thievery skills to survive, jaded and unstrusting, until eventually he caught ill with serious respiratory illness and collapsed outside the door of a Bosmer named Falin (fuh-LEEN). Falin took care of him and nursed him back to health with food, kindness, and herbal remedies because Dalamus does not trust mages or healing magic. In spending so much time together, they become fond of each other and fall in love.

Unfortunately, it would be cut short. At Falin's behest, Dalamus accompanies mercenaries to help clear a den of vampires, and ends up knocked unconscious and unknowingly infected with vampirism himself. Near the end of the week, Dalamus would wake a vampire in the middle of the night and kill his beloved Falin for his first feeding.

Wracked with guilt and shame, he runs and goes into hiding. For nearly two centuries he oscillates violently between ridden with guilt and starving himself, and succumbing to the Thirst and becoming a terror to anyone or anyplace nearby. He is stealthy, and wickedly fast, so god help you if you try to run, because he enjoys the chase. While not the strongest vampire, his agility and athleticism more than makes up for it.

Near the end of the two centuries, he finally evens off into a sort of homeostasis, emotionally speaking, allowing him to integrate himself into society if only to lure people to their death in typical Suave Charming Seductive Vampire fashion. This is where his blog canon takes place.

As he manages his Thirst better and can spend more time among people without needing to feed, he spends his time thieving from people and seducing them for more.. mundane needs. But it also means he has the time and ability and wherewithal to have conversations with people, and conversations often lead to connection. And he starts getting attached. (The next bit is going to be incredibly condensed and summarized because otherwise it's 10+ years of storytelling).

He starts building bonds with people. He learns to trust. He starts making friends, some to the extent of considering them family. He learns how to be vulnerable. He accidentally hurts friends. He learns how to apologize. He makes up with friends. He finally finds love again. He has a daughter. He cheats on his wife. He learns that apologies are not always enough. They get a divorce, and it hits him hard. But he has supportive people in his life now, his closest of which know he is a vampire and know of his past and that he has killed on his way here.

He learns how to change his behavior while still remaining himself, becoming ever closer to his friends and family. He finds love again, and is now in a stable relationship with an Agent of Mara, who also happens to be a Healer and a werelion. He has several close friends who he quite literally owe his life to, and for whom he would risk his life in an instant to keep them safe. Dalamus is not religious and is still afraid of Healing Magic but he occasionally reads about teachings of Mara when struggling, and he is slowly, slowly working up the nerve to be accepting of magic, although traumatic experiences and misunderstandings of how magic works are significant bumps in the road.

Damon Rex (he/it) -- A vampire in a fantasy Modern Earth who owns a jewelry store called Aeternum Rex ("forever the king", "forever king", "king forever", "eternal king", however you wanna think of it). CEO, owner, manager, boss, he's all of it. This is his store, and he uses it to swindle wealthy people :)

He's also a jeweler, gemologist, silversmith, gemcutter, etc etc. He's had time to learn it ALL. And he does make some of the available jewelry for the store. Some of it is stolen from the rich and altered to hide the fact. And some of it is synthetic jewelry altered to seem natural. The idea is that he steals valuables from the rich, changes them slightly, then sells them back to the rich when they come around looking for a replacement. Selling the synthetic gems at such a high profit margin also gives him leeway to give discounts to.. whoever he wants, really. But generally it is given to those who are not rich or wealthy, those looking for one-time gifts who will likely not be repeat customers.

He employs mostly teens and young adults from less-than-ideal living situations, or generally those who are desperate for the financial stability to get out of bad situations, buy necessities, etc. How he does this legally, who knows. But he pays them very generously for easy work, and time off is given on the honor system, assuming you will show up when you can work. See, with his speed and with how small the store is, he doesn't really NEED the help, but he wants to help others.

His own backstory is similar to TES Dal's in terms of family situation. But where TES Dal's mother died, Modern Dal became a vampire and returned to save his mother from his father. He then was able to live with and take care of his mother for the rest of her natural life, and this helped give him skills to integrate into society in a healthy manner earlier in his life.

Few people know he is a vampire aside from other supernatural creatures. His employees (who he eventually comes to see as his own kids, in a way) joke about him looking like one or dressing like one, but none of them actually believe anything out of the ordinary is happening. He's just goth, that's all. He's a little scary but he only ever uses his scariness on people who are disrespectful of his employees so it's fine.

Dalamus Sarangerel (he/they) -- FFXIV AU. A Xaela Au Ra who grew up in the Steppes in the Sarangerel tribe. His father is an herbalist, and his mother a hunter, giving him the chance to learn a well-rounded skillset for survival. The particulars of his tribe are TBD, but in my head they're more bestial than is shown in-game.

They were a peaceful tribe. His tribe worshipped the moon, Dalamud, as a guiding deity--Dalamus' was even named after it. But when Dalamud turned red and began descending, all manner of creature and people began behaving strangely. Dalamus' tribe was affected gradually, so gradually he hardly noticed, until they started treating Dalamus himself as a harbinger, and sacrificing animals for their deity.

When the Calamity happened, and Dalamud split open to free the dragon Bahamut, Dalamus got the wake-up call he needed to leave the tribe. Their violence continued, but Dalamus was determined to find a way to reverse their madness.

So, he left for Eorzea (where the game takes place), and discovered that the reason he was unaffected by Dalamud was this mysterious power called the Echo which he unknowingly had. And it meant he was a Warrior of Light. Out of one "prophecy" and into another. Chosen One for a different camp. But if defeating Primals will help him find answers on how to help his tribe, he is willing to do what they ask...

(I haven't played super far into the game, so, alas, his story is limited!)

Dalamus Strighym (he/him) -- BG3 AU. Dalamus Strighym, a Drow born simply as Dalamus, as surnames denoted nobility and a House, and he was born a commoner in the subterranean city of Menzoberranzan 200 years before the events of Baldur's Gate 3. (Disclaimer: Lolth-sworn Drow society in DnD is all kinds of messed up and potentially Problematic, and I'm well aware, but I'm not going to be the one to fix it; I'm mostly taking it as-is).

His family's trade was gemcutting, but neither of his brothers showed much aptitude for it. He had two older brothers. Orgoll, the eldest, a mean sonovabitch who delighted in harassing his youngest siblings. Orgoll became a military officer, strong and powerful, and most importantly, feared. Orgoll was jealous of what small amount of favor Dalamus was shown for his gemcutting skills, and would often sabotage his work.

And Nilaufein, second eldest, a weirdo by Drow standards, passionate about his job raising and training Riding Lizards and Pack Lizards, with a curiosity and fascination about the Surface. In private, he was kind, and hated the cruelty which ruled Menzoberranzan, and avoided being cruel whenever possible, instead using his wit and charm to diffuse situations and altercations. Nilaufein tried his best to keep his brothers from seriously injuring each other.

Nilaufein was selected to join a Raid on the Surface when Dalamus was 30. It was to be Nilaufein's Blooding, the coming-of-age ritual that would see him socially treated as an adult, if he survived. But he never returned, and is presumed dead. Dalamus' own Blooding was to battle a Displacer Beast with a handful of other Drow, and he survived, but not without massive scarring from a tentacle. To celebrate his success, Orgoll visited at the behest of their parents, but used the opportunity to mock both Dalamus and Nilaufein. Dalamus killed Orgoll later that night.

For a while, Dalamus had peace as the only child. He is excellent at gemcutting, one of the best. He makes good money for himself and his family. Then his sister, Taliira, is born, and immediately becomes the family favorite (Menzoberranzan operates under a Matriarchal Theocracy, where men are second-class citizens at best, and Priestesses of Lolth rule with fear and cruelty). If Taliira can undergo clerical schooling to become a Priestess, the family can be elevated.

And so, much of Dalamus' money becomes saved and dedicated to Taliira's teachings. While she is still small, Dalamus is often left to take care of her. He does not dare punish or discipline her, leaving her to do whatever she wants. At first, this meant hanging around him and curiously watching him work on his jewelry. She'd ask innocent questions, he'd give straightforward answers. But as she grew up and was encouraged to be cruel, Dalamus became target practice for her budding magic skills. Despite only being a teen, she was a hellion, and further compounded Dalamus' dislike of magic, especially anything that manipulated the mind or body.

She eventually was sent off to schooling, at which point Dalamus got a few years of peace. Until the minor noblewoman, Nedvyllanna Strighym, set eyes upon him. She thought he looked handsome, and interesting (his eyes and hair are not the typical Drow colors often selectively bred for), and his jewelry skills were second-to-none, and she wanted him for herself. And so she did. He became her personal gemcutter, jeweler, and favored consort.

I won't go into details what that entails bc again, messed up society (if you're interested then you can check his blog where I've written headcanons). But we will just say he is not treated kindly, and yet, because of how twisted the society is and the expectations for men, he thinks it's fine, even preferable in some cases. After 8 years, they have a son. He is not allowed to see or be around the son and does not get attached.

Two years later, he gets caught stealing from another noble (at Nedvyllanna's request), and his punishment is exile. She injures him with a whip and sends him out to wander the Underdark and hopefully die. But he survives, using his piwafwi for stealth, his knowledge of Underdark flora to stanch his bleeding, and a little subtle help from a Goddess he does not worship (and doesn't realize it's her doing). He doesn't escape unscathed, though, as an encounter with a bear-like creature called a Quaggoth gives him a back injury that'll prove permanent and be a source of both chronic and acute pain.

But he makes it to the Surface. And despite being blinded by the light and exhausted by the heat, he makes it to a town, and then a city, and commissions a back-support corset to be made. About a month later, he receives the corset--and the Nautiloid appears over Yartar and begins abducting people, Dalamus included.

So now he's got this mind flayer parasite behind his eye, his back injury is still healing, heck his face and neck scarring isn't completely healed yet, and now he has to work with strangers on the Surface where the sun burns his skin and blinds him, to try and figure out how to remove the parasites before they all become Mind Flayers.

It's been a helluva time the past few weeks for him.

Other versions of Dal I occasionally talk about but don't have specific blogs for:

Dalrex -- (Fallout) An odd, intelligent dark-colored Alpha Deathclaw. Seems to have a proclivity for finding shiny loot to try and decorate his hide with. Curiously able to speak, but not much more than a child. Extremely dangerous, and yet some say he's actually docile unless given a reason to be otherwise. Not many are willing to test that theory, though.

PokeDal -- (Pokemon) An adult pokemon trainer named Damon. He's gaunt, has bags under his eyes, is pale, and a Lampent follows him around. It's believed Lampent is a sort of emissary of death, appearing right before someone dies to take their soul, and yet Damon is still here. Some say it's because he's actually a vampire! But he's not. Probably. He's just a tired recluse who lives in a castle. He takes care of a sanctuary for pokemon who can't, won't, don't want to, or shouldn't become partner pokemon for trainers for various reasons. His team consists of mostly Dark types. Lemme see if I can remember... Houndoom, Corviknight, Umbreon, Zoroark, Lampent, Crobat. I think.

Stardew Dally -- (Stardew Valley) Dalmatius is a farmer who got tired of the monotony of working for a corporate entity. He's a bit pale and thin but surprisingly strong. He always wears his straw hat because he burns in the sun so easily. Just might be a vampire. He mostly keeps to himself, but holds respect for the townspeople.

MonHun Dal -- (Monster Hunter) An arrogant, tall Wyverian man named Dalakai. Unlike many of his people, who dedicate their lives to the study and understanding of the world around them through scholarly endeavors, Dalakai thrives being a Monster Hunter. He is considered immature and brash by his people, but his skills are nothing to sneeze at.

[sam7sparks7]

Only making this because I'm very emotional right now and I don't want to go to any of my online friends with this because it's the kind of thing that only hurts temporarily and I will be fine later so I don't want them to make efforts when it will get resolved by itself, so I am putting this here for the void.

I will feel better when I type this out and go to sleep, tomorrow this won't hurt so much cause that's how my brain works. Just need to talk it out and cry.

I really like a person. They like me too. We were close then they got a lot of real life and we drifted apart. I missed them so so so terribly I went and did thing something I would never do unless I was explicitly asked - join a group chat.

I am terrible in group chats. I am a wonderful conversationlist one on one, but put me in a group and all of it goes away. Somehow anytime I speak in any chat (barring a few very nice ones) I end up getting ignored so badly it is almost funny now. Almost.

Anyway that person, I missed them and all the things I could talk with them. So I found a group and started sharing some of my thoughts there (I'm being deliberately vauge).

I was not as ignored as I had steeled myself for. I was so happily surprised that I let myself feel hopeful that I had gotten over my groupchat curse. Feeling comfortable I shared something I had created (it met the guidelines), I was optimistic about the kind of reception it might get. I waited. No one interacted with it. I waited. Days later someone else posted a different thing after my lonely post (kinda feel like adding a lol at the end of the line because I think I am writing too dramatically about my flop post lol). They got a conversation on their creation.

Obviously it felt very bad, my thing laying there for days and nothing and then someone else posts they get so much. The group are good people with an encouraging and supportive environment, and here I was feeling like such an outsider, like somehow what I made was so bad that no one wanted to even think of it. Wanting a good grade in groupchat, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve ha.

And rationally I know, timezones exist and real life is a priority and sometimes people just do not have the energy, especially for a stranger, like even when you're tired you'll be making an effort for a friend, not for someone you barely know. So yeah I know all of this and I understand this, and yet right now my heart is so hurt.

I am angry and I am sad and I am crying because before I met that person I was as alone with my ideas as I am right now, but at least I did not know what it feels like to have someone respond when you share, someone showing an interest and giving you love. And it's not the group's fault and it's not my person's fault, I'm not angry at either of them. There are days when life just sucks and right now it's one of those moments for me.

I believe in better to have loved and lost, than not have loved at all. I will feel better tomorrow morning, when I wake up with my cat asking for food. I will feel better tomorrow night when I watch television with my parents. I will feel better with time and work and I will again talk in the group chat because it's not a big deal, texts get lost in the volume of an active conversation all the time, it happens and it's alright.

Right now though, right now I will cry a bit more and feel bad about myself until I fall asleep.

[ellieoes]

Light a candle

I can’t remember the first time I ever heard of this thing called a blog. I know it was many many moons ago.  I never thought it was for me.  I mean, I lived an entirely ordinary life and always seemed to say what I always thought were the wrong words and even if they were the right words, I didn’t have much to say and was always worried that I would say something that might offend someone or just plain old sound stupid. So, go easy on me ok?

I sit here this morning writing this because I just read my dear friend’s final entry in his own blog. He started his blog ‘oldbutnotyetwise’ 9 years ago. And I just learned of it last year when I reconnected with him. I've read every one of his posts including his last... his self-authored obituary. His last piece of advice - "Don't keep putting things off until tomorrow, because sometimes tomorrow doesn't come." Advice well taken my friend, wish me luck (I can see you smiling with that smirky smirk ;-)

Life is a funny and wondrous thing and often very challenging thing. It takes you on little side trips that seemingly don’t make sense and move you in different directions that you never thought you’d move in. And then, all of a sudden, all of the tumblers fall into place and it makes sense. Sometimes painfully so.

My friend Suzanne suggested I meet David. My marriage was in its final throes and I needed a male perspective. So we met. I liked him. Instantly. We talked as if we’d know eachother for many years. And he was delightful. He was a gentle giant who listened so intently and then asked you the most thought provoking and revealing questions to help you better understand and come to your own conclusions about whatever you were uncertain about.

Not long after we met, we were chatting one night about Sue’s birthday coming up and were trying to figure out something special we could do for her. Well, a visit to Winnipeg in December with -40 celsuis degree temps (well maybe it was -20 but it sure felt like -40!) with an almost stranger wasn’t what I was thinking but somehow, he convinced me that it was a great idea and before you knew it, we were off! We became great friends and, for reasons I won’t explain here and certainly not through any fault of his, we communicated only once a year (when he’d sent me a birthday text or email). He did so every year for almost 8.  

Fast forward to June 2023.  I read a facebook post of David’s that had me concerned.  Robin (his beautiful wife) and he were leaving their dream property in Nipissing and moving to Cambridge. When I asked him why, he told me something that took my breath away much like a gut punch would.  He had been diagnosed with ALS.

ALS.

At that time, I was enveloped in taking care of my 93 year old mom. She had Alzheimer’s, couldn’t speak or walk or later even eat. It was a terrible time and a horrible death.  Still, she was surrounded with love and our family did all that we could to let her know how much she was loved. But more on that maybe in another post.

I suppose I tell you this because I’m trying to find a reason why I didn’t fully enter back into David’s life until about October/November.

My friend Dana had once brought me a meal when I lost either my brother or my sister (sorry, can’t remember which) and then my friend Karen did the same when I lost my mom. I can’t tell you how much their thoughtfulness meant to me and how grateful I am to this day for their kindness. So, I was determined that this is what I would do for David and his wife.

He suggested I watch Tuesdays with Morrie - a movie about a man with ALS. I did and promptly asked David if we could be Tuesday people.  Well, it wasn’t every Tuesday and it wasn’t always Tuesdays but as much as his schedule and mine permitted, I would bring a meal for the three of us to share. It was a very special time for which I would be eternally grateful. We would eat and talk and enjoy eachother’s company. Often times David and I would take their ever-so-sweet Australian Shepherd named Kiwi for a walk around the neighborhood. David in his $30,000 wheelchair that seemingly did everything but make you dinner ;-)

It was on these walks that we had our deepest talks. Sometimes about what was to come and the inevitable outcome of ALS; sometimes about love and relationships; sometimes about favourite books and movies.  His favourite author was Robert James Waller.  One of his favourite movies was based on his book, The Bridges of Madison County. Other movies he loved were Life Itself and Boyhood. I’ve watched them all now and thoroughly enjoyed every one of them. I felt that by watching them, I would know David better.

He loved the natural world. He loved the paradise that Robin and he called home in Nipissing. He loved his dogs, every one of them. He loved his friends. He loved Chicken Parmigiana, Lasagna, Butter Tarts (without coconut), Boston Cream pie and, given he had a second helping, he at least liked my Goulash.

But most of all, he loved Robin. Oh how my heart aches at the thought of the beautiful, deep and pure love that they shared. It was the stuff of books and movies. It was the real deal. Even with thoughts of all the challenges of ALS and his imminent death, the one thing that brought him to tears and made him hurt the most was the thought of having to leave his beloved Robin. He didn't want to. If he could, he would have moved heaven and earth just to be able to stay by her side. And I know Robin would have as well.

Robin is an unexpected gift in all of this. She is incredibly kind and funny and sweet and truly beautiful. She is strong and courageous and so loyally and steadfastly took care of David until his last day. Though she had done so much - had given everything to David so that his dignity would be protected, his spirit supported and his heart filled with her love - she was still worried that she hadn't done enough and that she made a few mistakes. Robin, you don't know how incredible you are and what a gift you gave him. You are a hero in every sense of the word. I love you for everything you did for David and for how much you loved and protected and helped him. You were his everything and it's so clear why. I'm so grateful we connected and look forward to many more years of friendship if you'll have me.

The most heartwrenching text I've ever received from anyone was from David. It was his final text.

At 9:38pm on Thursday, May 23rd, 2024 he wrote:

"Light a candle at 10:00 tonight, I love you."

His time had come. I wrote him back. I didn't know if he'd read my text until the 25th. Robin told me he had. She also told me that he wanted his celebration of life to be on June 2nd so I could attend. These final gifts of his are indescribably important to me and have touched me so deeply.

He meant so much to me. And he gave me so much. Winnipeg, Justin Hines (especially "Say what you will"), little surprises like dessert from Bread Bar, an Ethopian restaurant, a little mom-and-pop italian restaurant, sushi, a beautiful hand-turned pen that he made himself, a book by Jann Arden. He gave me permission and encouragement to try things; to get out of my comfort zone; to believe in myself and even to love myself (because there was a time when I couldn't do either because of who I'd become and the ones that I'd hurt); to forgive myself; to accept things as they were and not to worry about things you cannot change; and to always see the good even in the worst - because, as he said, there is always good. Even ALS, he said, brought him gifts. The gifts of the love of friends and especially the deepening of the love Robin and he shared.

On May 8th at 10:45 am he sent me this and said that this was what he was pondering that morning and he thought that I might also appreciate it:

"You can't skip chapters, that's not how life works. You have to read every line, meet every character. You won't enjoy all of it. Hell, some chapters will make you cry for weeks. You will read things you don't want to read, you will have moments when you don't want the pages to end. But you have to keep going. Stories keep the world revolving. Live yours, don't miss out."

-Pillow Thoughts

I'll leave you with that for now but in David's tradition, I will also leave you with a few questions to ponder...

Who do you miss and wish you had back in your life? I encourage you to connect with them now not later if you can.

Do the people you love know you love them? Have you communicated how much they mean to you?

What's your story and are you really living it?

Whatever your answers are to those, I wish you a love like David and Robin's, an appreciation of the natural world and all the animals in it, good health, peace in your heart, courage and wonderful adventures!

[pumpkin-master]

Hello to all the humanoids in here!

You can call me Pumpkin and this is my first time using Tumblr! I go by She/Her and I’ve honestly been eying using this since almost everything I wanted to see somehow originates from or has more content here. And by that I mainly mean Fanfics, Comics, and Artwork of course.

Another reason was because I have my own AO3 account under the name The_Pumpkin_Night_watcher and wanted to post things about my own fics, prompts, and AU’s that I come up with.

This is a whole new world for me tomorrow explore a I hope to experience it with everyone else!

Now then, for the Fandoms that I’m a part of, I usually rotate between what I’m into at the moment, but it always circles through the others eventually. That’s to say all my hyper-fixations get a turn.

I also really love exploring the posts and tags connect to these fandoms so I might come with something like that out of nowhere.

Fandoms that I mainly partake in:

One piece

MDZS (Mo Dao Zu Shi)

SVSSS (Scum Villain Self Saving System)

Kingdom Hearts

Final Fantasy 7

LOTM (Lord of the Mysteries)

Legend of Zelda

FNAF (Five Nights at Freddy’s)

Ace Attorney

And that’s mostly it, I’ll explore other medias and fandoms but these are the ones I usually stick to.

Regarding Fanfics

I do like to post prompts and fic ideas from time to time, and if it particularly tickles my fancy, then I’ll explore the AU of fic idea a little more. But chances of it becoming an actual fic depend on whether I would have enough motivation to actually write something like it.

I also can’t promise consistent updates, my IRL schedule is wonky at the best of times and stressful at worst.

One thing with Fanfics is that I adore crossovers, it’s one of my favorite things to see two worlds collide to either create a mess or solve it.

Thing with Art

I like to draw and make art, sometimes of prompts or fics, but mostly just for fun and whenever I feel like it. I can’t promise da Vinci levels of art or be the next van goh but i’ll certainly make it good enough to look at.

Conclusion…I guess?

Well, I think that’s mostly it, anything else I need to mention will be mentioned at a later date within the actual homepage itself. So anyway…

That’s all folks!