#i must be about to start my period because i get emotional like this when i do 🧍🏼‍♂️

[maudiemoods]

I'm so unmotivated rrrrarrrarrr

[fatuismooches]

Could you please write about the Harbingers and their voice lines for the reader? Like them telling the traveler about you and stuff :)

♡𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬’ 𝐕𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 ♡

synopsis: The Traveler expected the Harbingers to be cold and ruthless in pursuing whatever the Fatui's goals were. Hearing their loving voice lines on you was certainly the opposite of what they predicted.

includes: all harbingers (platonic pulcinella) w/ gn! reader

notes: I've wanted to do something like this for a while. It was rather cute and fun to write! Includes five voice lines about you for each Harbinger.

Pierro:

About You - His Lover:

“So you’ve already met [Name], Traveler? I’m not surprised, they like to talk to people, especially when they see me speaking to others. They’re quite energetic and bouncy, aren’t they? But I can’t say I dislike that about them. They are a bright light in my life.”

Chat - Walks:

“Much of our time spent together is on walks outside in Sneznhaya, with the snow gently melting on us. It’s a rather simple activity to most, but irreplaceable to both of us. I hope, after everything is said and done, I can take them on walks in other places.”

About Your Patience:

“They never comment on it, but I know they get lonely without me. For most of the day, they do not see me due to my work, and even when they try to stay up late for my return, they end up falling asleep sometimes. I truly wish I could spend more time with them. But I know, after fulfilling the Tsaritsa’s dream, I will give them everything and more.”

Something To Share - Meals:

“I don’t think about what I eat or when I do very often. It doesn’t matter much to me, but [Name] clearly disagrees. Instead of the maids preparing my meals, they started cooking everything for me and adding little notes too. It’s very endearing of them, but I don’t think I’ll ever live it down when the other soldiers saw me eating heart-shaped cookies with smiley faces on them…”

About You - A Second Home:

“I remember the destruction of my homeland clearly. It is something I will never forget. But even though I have only a small portion of time with them, they never fail to make me feel… content. With them, I can forget about everything, even if it is just for a few minutes. Heh, sometimes I foolishly wish they lived in Khaenri’ah with me for a bit, if only to experience a normal life with them.”

Capitano:

About You - His Lover:

“There is nothing I cherish more than [Name]. Many people often comment on our relationship, after all, we are quite different in all aspects. But I have them to thank for many things. They have taught me many things I could have never learned on my own.

Chat - Souvenirs:

“Traveler, you have been to many nations for extended periods of time. Would you share some items that would make good souvenirs? I always make sure to bring something back for them. If you have any recipes to share, that would be greatly appreciated as well. Whenever I am back home, [Name] always insists on having all of our meals together.”

A Special Item - The Kamera:

“You must be wondering why someone like me carries around something like this. I never cared for the device until [Name] told me about it and asked me to take photos on my expeditions. I guess I’ve unintentionally become a master without knowing it because they always praise the pictures I take when they organize them in their scrapbook.”

Something To Share - Smiles:

“I am not adept at smiling at all, or very expressive in general, something [Name] has an issue with. Oftentimes, they sit on my lap and try to get me to show some emotion on my face. Reading stories, telling jokes… they try it all quite frequently. While I don’t think it’s working very well, I enjoy their antics.”

About You - Reminiscing:

“I remember once I walked in on them trying on my helmet and coat. They hadn’t noticed me yet, and I couldn’t help but notice how small they looked buried under my clothes. But quickly I worried about whether their head could take the weight of my helmet. Before I could say anything, they saw me and scurried away in embarrassment. I never brought it up again, but it was rather cute.”

“Huh… Paimon would have never guessed Capitano was like this. When we go to Snezhnaya, we have to find this guy’s mansion somehow! Paimon wants to meet [Name]!”

Columbina:

About You - Her Lover:

“Hmm~hmm~♫ Oh, hello there, Traveler. Ah, I see you’ve brought [Name] with you too, come here, my dear. Hmm? Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you. They are my partner in love, music, in everything. Perhaps you should come to one of our shows one day. I’d say we are quite good.”

About You - Favorite Pastimes:

“I love going to watch plays with them. The theater is one of the places where we spend a lot of time. I always end up humming along to the songs. Sometimes, when the theater is unoccupied, we act out certain scenes together. Say, Traveler, have you ever heard of Romeo and Juliet?”

Chat - Naps:

“Hmm… what time is it? The weather just feels perfect for a midday nap. [Name] always indulges me whenever I want when I want to doze off. This surface is no match for their pillowy softness, but it’ll have to do for now…”

“Hey, you can’t just fall asleep in the middle of- oh… Paimon doesn’t know how she can knock out that quickly.”

Secret Hobby - Poems About You:

“Your bright smile that can go on for a mile,

Unmatchable style with a laugh that never ends for a while.

Sweet lips that I want to savor,

Ah, I am so glad I am in your favor.

Or should I say “For you make me ever the more braver”...? What do you think, Traveler?”

Something Interesting - Liyue Opera:

“Traveler, I hear that there is a talented opera troupe in Liyue with beautiful music and songs. Oh, you’ve met them yourself? I would love to attend it with [Name]. They love listening to music from around Teyvat, and I have to agree with them. Haha… I can’t wait to take them out of Snezhnaya for a bit.”

Dottore:

About You - His Lover:

“Hmph, you wish to know about [Name], I hear?”

“Yeah! Paimon wants to know what kind of person would stay with a madman- I mean! A Fatui Harbinger! You know, since that’s quite dangerous and all.”

“Hehe, is that so? Too bad, because I have no obligation to tell you. But they are truly… ah, never mind.”

“Aww… Paimon really wanted to know what he was going to say.”

About You And The Segments:

“Some of the segments are quite fond of them, while some do not know them very well. After all, they were cloned at different parts of my life, before and after I met them. I must say… it’s can be hard to get some of the other segments away from them. I didn’t think they would hoard [Name]’s attention so much…”

“Is it just Paimon, or does Dottore’s attentiveness towards them grow as each clone gets older? And hey, is Dottore jealous-”

“Shush Paimon, before he hears you!”

About You - Whereabouts:

"It's time for their medicine... Hmm, have you seen them, Traveler? You saw them leave and go into the city? And you didn't stop them? Tch, useless. I must simply go and find them myself... Now that I think about it, I wouldn't want you talking to [Name], anyway."

About You - Health Concerns:

“Ever since our Akademiya days, [Name] has been plagued with an unknown and virtually incurable disease. It is essential that they take their medicine every day, but they often try to avoid it, after doing it for so long. This is why I and the clones always keep an eye on them.”

“Aw, so that’s why [Name] always looks so tired whenever Paimon sees them… That must be so hard.”

“… I don’t care what methods or tactics I have to employ, or if the Gods or even you, Traveler, get in my way. I will cure them of their sickness. Nothing will stop me.”

When The Sun Is Out:

“Hm, it’s a perfect day for [Name] to take a walk. The fresh air is always good for their health. Perhaps a boat ride is in order as well.”

“Oooh, Paimon loves the sound of that! Maybe we can fish and eat it too!”

“Why would I ever invite you to be with us? I’m sure your very existence would give them a headache.”

“Hey, how rude!!”

Pulcinella:

About You - Relationship:

“You were fighting some hilichurls when someone called [Name] joined you? And they ended up lighting an explosive barrel? Wherever that child goes, they always bring trouble with them. But don’t hold it against them. They are a lovely person to be around.”

Stories To Tell:

“They always pester me to tell them stories. Though, this is not a bad thing at all. Not many are willing to listen to this old man ramble on willingly. Ah, youth is a wonderful thing. Would you like to join us next time, Traveler?”

Chat - New Things:

“Indeed, they have taught me many things. The latest trends, songs, books, and more that their generation is into. Sometimes I struggle to understand some of what they say too… the world is changing so quickly.”

About You - Baking:

“We bake together quite often. Most of the time, I have to direct them, otherwise, they will burn down the kitchen which has happened multiple times before. Pantalone was not happy. I have never seen a youngster with such little aptitude for cooking, but surprisingly, it is great fun.”

About You - Family:

“Ever since they were young, they were quite rebellious. Running away from the castle, pretending to be asleep after bedtime, beating up all the Fatui soldiers during sparring without hesitance. If anyone else besides me had to take care of them, it would not have ended well. But, I am truly glad they are in my care. I have thought of them as my own child for a long time. If it wasn’t for the possible danger, I’d have officially adopted them long ago.”

Scaramouche:

About You - His Lover:

“Huh? How do you know about [Name]?”

“Well, we just happened to see them with you once. You were actually smiling! And later we went up and spoke to them for a bit, and they were really nice! They told us that they were your-”

“Ugh, that idiot! Always trusting people so blindly… Anyway, I don’t need you to know anything else. It isn’t your business.” 

A Little Secret:

“I wonder if they could make dango for me again… it’s been a long time since I’ve had it. But how do I get them to make it without directly asking? How bothersome… huh? How long have you been there, Traveler? You didn’t hear anything, did you?!”

Something To Share - Burdened Feelings:

“I once tried to wipe my emotions and feelings of them away into nothingness. It felt preposterous to me that I could feel something for a human, one that could barely fight nonetheless. But when I lost the Gnosis, when I lost everything, as I fell down, the only thing that I saw in my mind was their stupid smile…”

When It Rains:

“Whenever it rained, they would always huddle themselves close to me under my hat. At first, I pushed them away, but the look on their face made me allow them to continue. Sometimes, I make sure to take them out on a day that’s expected to rain just to see them do that. Don’t you dare tell them that though, Traveler.”

About Beelzebul:

“[Name] is always telling me to reconcile with her, but what would she think of me, or of them? How would she act toward me? Would she even remember me? There’s that irritating shrine maiden too… Hmm? It’s nothing. Let’s keep moving.”

Arlecchino:

About You - Her Lover:

“[Name]? Yes, they are my partner. I suppose those Fatui recruits can’t keep their mouths shut about other people’s business for very long. Hmm? You’re surprised that I was so direct about it? Well, there’s no reason to hide it. But I would prefer that this discussion ends here. I like to keep my time with them private.”

When It’s Sunny:

“This weather is not my favorite. I prefer the cold much more than this blistering heat. But I did hear [Name] say that they would like to visit a beach someday. Hmm… say, Traveler, is Yaoguang Shoal a good spot?”

Something To Share - Quietly Loving:

“I’m sure you have realized by now that I am not very good with words or emotions. These things are far from my expertise. However, they seem to not mind my behavior, talking enough for both of us. But if they ever requested anything from me, I would do it without hesitance. No one else comes close.”

Chat - Coffee:

“One cup of coffee, with whipped cream, syrup, and sugar please.”

“…Eh?!! Arlecchino, what are you saying? You always order your coffee black!”

“I know. To be honest, I could not care less about all these extra ingredients. But… they always used to try and add things to sweeten the drink behind my back. I suppose I… miss them. This reminds me of them, a bit.”

“Aww… Paimon guesses that even the scariest and coldest of people can have someone special to them.”

About You - The Orphanage:

“They often spend their time with the orphans. I was initially surprised at first, and so were the other soldiers, but it worked out in our favor. The children love them far more than they will for me or the recruits. [Name] is a gentle and patient soul, after all. Reading stories, putting the kids to sleep… they are quite hard working despite having no need to.”

La Signora:

About You - Her Lover:

“My darling [Name] is the most perfect lover one could ask for. They are beautiful, inside and out. How I love to pamper them so… actually, there are a couple of new outfits I want them to try on. I can’t wait to see how they look. They are all mine.”

When It’s Windy:

“Tch, this wind is messing up my hair and clothes. [Name] used to always brush and take care of my hair after a long day, after I showed them how to do it correctly of course. Traveler, I’m afraid I have to go now. I must see them again.”

About You - Letters:

“Hmm, hmm, hmm… and it’s done.”

“Hey Signora, what are you writing?”

“Just a letter to my dearest. They are expecting something from me soon.”

“Wow, so you can send letters with your fire moths? That’s resourceful!”

“Of course. I always let a few stay around [Name] as well. If any of them happen to be extinguished, I’ll know if anything happened to them.”

About You - Favorite Pastimes:

“There’s nothing that pleases me more than seeing them all dolled up in the latest fashion. They look simply exquisite, especially when we do each other’s makeup. But I also adore seeing them lounge around in their favorite hoodies. They look great in anything, really.”

Something To Share - Past Grief, New Happiness:

“Sometimes, it feels just like yesterday when I lost him. Grief and bitterness wrapped around my heart like a cocoon that would never hatch. But when I fell in love with them, I felt something that I had not felt in far too long. That cocoon started to shatter little by little, as I started to remember how to love again. I truly love them wholly with whatever’s remaining of my heart.”

Pantalone:

About You - His Lover:

“So, you’ve met [Name], I hear. What do you think of them? Beautiful, am I right? Of course, they are nothing short of perfection to me. Hardworking, determined, helpful… I could go on about them. Say, Traveler, would you be so kind to direct me to some of the best shops around here? I would like to find some gifts to send to them while we’re here.”

Worries - Financial Concerns:

“Traveler, I have a great issue on my hands. [Name] has apparently forbidden me from spending any more Mora on them. They keep saying that they do not need anything else, but how can I restrain myself from spoiling my darling?”

About You - Favorite Pastimes:

“Oftentimes, we like to end off the day with some leisurely reading. The feeling of them laying against my chest, legs intertwined, as I whisper certain parts of the book softly into their ear, delighting as they turn warm- oho, your face is all red. Did I make you embarrassed? Apologies, I get carried away when talking about them.”

About You - First Meeting:

“My childhood is not something that I like to remember. But, despite everything, it is pleasant to think about the first time I met them. They were poor, just like me, barely scraping by, though they never failed to greet me every day with a big smile. [Name] would take over the grueling working shifts for me and the younger kids sometimes, and sneak bits of food out the window to me. Even with the fact that I was surrounded by poverty, I couldn’t help but think I had a true gem right in front of me. ”

When It’s Cold:

“I confess, I do enjoy the cold, but most of it is due to how adorable [Name] looks all bundled up in my fur coats. Or how they always dive under the covers and refuse to get up for anything. It is always a struggle for even me to get up from bed when they are so warm, too.”

Sandrone:

About You - Her Lover:

“They are my loyal assistant and lover, always willing to help out with any experiment I ask. I have known them for a very long time. They have always been the one to drag me out of the lab to get some fresh air… as a matter of fact, I think it’s about this time when they come to harass me. Somehow they’ve gotten half the robots on their side, too.”

When It’s Raining:

“This weather is good for testing how waterproof my robots are and the joints of my Automatons. A long time ago, I built a feature for an umbrella into some of my creations so whenever [Name] and I went for walks and it rained, we would be fine. Huh, you’re asking if you can use it? No, you can’t.”

About You - Favorite Pastimes:

“Eh? Sandrone, what is all this? You’re all dressed up!”

“Oh, it’s you. I’m simply preparing for my favorite event with my dear lover. We’ve just finished repairing an ancient Automaton, and they’ve decided a tea party is in order.”

“Wow! Even the robots have spiffy suits on! It smells so good here too, hehe, Paimon wants a taste of the tea and cookies too- w-woah! Where’d all these big robots come from?! Hey, let Paimon down!”

“This is for [Name] and I only. Now shoo. The tea party is set to begin soon, and I must welcome my honored guest…”

Inspiration - New Creations:

“Before I met them, I had never thought of using my skills to create mundane things that weren’t war machines or destructive Automatons. I thought anything else would be a waste of time, but surprisingly, it is not too bad. It’s quite nice to feel their fascinated face in the crook of my neck while I work. I usually gift these creations to them, anyway. They’re not much use to me, but [Name] likes these kinds of things.”

The Future - Fontaine Frenzy:

“I hear that I am set to head out to Fontaine soon. I would love to see the faces of those poor souls when they realize their technology is nothing compared to what the Fatui has created. Ah, I guess that means I’ll be seeing you there too. Will you be able to keep up with [Name] and I, Traveler? I must warn you, they are a formidable foe, with their refined skill and raw power from my mechanical attachments. Now that I think about there, there were some new weapons we wanted to try out… hehe, I can’t wait.” 

Childe:

About You - His Lover:

“Oho, interested in [Name] are you? I don’t blame you - they are truly an amazing person. Sweet, kind, and caring, not to mention, they are incredibly strong as well. Teucer loves them too, always wanting piggyback rides. I can’t wait to introduce them to the rest of my family.”

About You - First Meeting:

“I clearly remember the first time I laid eyes on them. I was passing through Liyue when I heard of an archery competition, and naturally, I was eager to test my skills. I was sure that I would win first place, but what did you know! Someone called [Name] had stolen that spot from me. Long story short, I pestered them until they fought me, and they really did beat me down. Haha, it feels so long ago, now that I look back on it.”

When It Snows:

“I once took [Name] to Dragonspine, because they wanted to see the snow as it was a rare occurrence in Liyue. You should have seen them, hah! Shaking and sniffling like it was the end of the world. And it wasn’t even that cold, as least compared to my homeland. Why didn’t I take them to Snezhnaya? Don’t worry, I plan to, very, very soon…

About You - Whereabouts:

"Have you seen them, Traveler? No? Haha, they must be hiding from me again. I guess I’ve asked them to spar too many times. Comrade, if you happen to see [Name], tell them I’m waiting at Northland Bank for them. Xinyue Kiosk, my treat.”

About You - Safety:

“Heh, I wonder what they’re doing right now. I hope they haven’t been roped into any strange commissions again. They are too helpful for their own good. If anything happened to them while I’m gone… Traveler, if you happen to be around, please help them. I’ll owe you, comrade.”

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

Improving Your Relationship With Food And Movement

Hey babesss I have improved my relationship with food and exercise these past few months. It was hard because I had to break down a lot of negative feelings and thoughts I had built around certain foods. I started yo-yo dieting and restrictive eating when I was 10 years old and it has had a lot of negative effects on my body not just physically, and mentally, but socially as well. These tips have changed my life and I hope they help you as well<3333

Signs you have a negative relationship with food.

♡ You think of food all the time. You think about what you're going to eat next and overthink your meals, and the calorie counts.

♡ Feeling guilt over your food choices. Whenever you eat something that might not fit into your “diet” you feel guilty and say negative things about yourself or “punish” yourself by excessive exercise or extreme restrictive eating. 

♡ You must earn your meals. This ties into the previous sign, you feel like you have to earn your meals through exercise and restrictions.

♡ You binge eat. Binge eating is having a large amount of food in a short period, accompanied by feelings of loss of control.

♡ You ignore hunger cues. You feel the urge to eat but don't allow yourself to because of a certain diet or restrictive eating.

♡ You can’t keep your favorite foods in the house. You can’t control yourself around your favorite foods due to going a long time without them because of restrictions.

♡ You emotionally eat. Using food to comfort you is okay sometimes BUT it becomes a problem when you turn to food constantly whenever something bad happens and causes negative emotions.

♡ It is stressful going out to eat. You can’t enjoy yourself at restaurants or turn down invites to restaurants or events because you are overwhelmed by the idea of food and calories.

♡ You’re stuck in a diet culture mentality. It is okay to want to lose or gain weight and get into a healthier body but you can do this without restrictive eating. 

♡ Your body dictates your food intake. If you are bloated you eat little or skip a meal altogether.

Signs you have a negative relationship with exercise.

♡ You use exercise as a punishment. Whenever you overeat or feel like you have you make yourself exercise for long periods.

♡ You feel guilty when you miss a workout. As women sometimes we can’t work out the way we want to because of our menstrual cycle and you need a break and it is okay to take a break.

♡ You exercise even if you're injured. Rest days are okay working out through injuries only makes injuries worse.

♡ You do workouts you don't like. You're focused on burning calories and not the enjoyment you feel when working out.

♡ Affecting your social life. You might excessively work out to the point you're missing events and invites to work out.

Tips to improve your relationship with food. 

♡ Learn about nutrition. A lot of us are uneducated on nutrition and how we should be eating to prevent excessive weight gain and malnutrition I will recommend a lot of books below to start your education on nutrition.

♡ Practice mindful eating. Slow down and become aware of what is happening to your body when you eat certain foods, and your hunger cues, and don’t make any judgments. Eat foods without distractions such as TV, books, and phones. Take your time to chew and taste your foods. Mindless eating is eating without control or out of boredom.

♡ Stop labeling foods. We tend to use the words “good” and “bad” when talking about foods. However, labeling foods can harm your relationship with foods. Welcome all food groups into your diet. Making food decisions shouldn't make you feel like a bad person or a good person. 

♡ Find enjoyment in food. Focus on enjoying food and the pleasures that come with preparing and enjoying food with others.

♡ Allow yourself to eat the foods you enjoy. It is okay to eat foods you enjoy in moderation, 

♡ Challenge negative self-talk. The way we speak to ourselves regarding food and diet can affect the way we view foods challenge those thoughts with positive thoughts when they come I recommend reading this blog post about your mental diet by @arielsreality

Tips to improve your relationship with exercise.

♡ Create your own vision of fitness. Everyone has different body goals and what they want to look like the media pushes an image not all of us want to fit into. So create a vision for what you want to look like.

♡ Try different forms of exercise. Try different types of exercise. If you don't like cardio, try weight lifting. If you don't like weightlifting, try pilates. There are many options to choose from, so give them a try. Do what feels right and brings you joy.

♡ Listen to your body. If your body is sore, skip a day and walk instead of lifting weights. Listening to our bodies is super important ignoring pain cues is very harmful.

♡ Embrace rest. Sleep is our best friend getting the right amount of sleep every night is what helps our glow-up journey over all. Taking rest days is super important as well.

♡ Understand your body changes. Your body at 12 is not your body now and that is a beautiful thing. We especially as women go through a lot of bodily changes so we have to let go of society's expectations of how our bodies should be and look like what do you want your body to look like? And how can you get there? 

♡ Follow women who look like you. Follow women with similar body types like yours. I have a Pinterest of women who have similar body types to mine labeled “Your body is beautiful” I look at it if I need reminders when feeling insecure. I follow a lot of black women on many platforms as a black woman because I like to see women who look like me in positions of success and wealth it motivates me. 

♡ Celebrate non-scale victories. Maybe instead of being stuck on the number on the scale, you tried those jeans that couldn’t fit before but now they are so comfortable. That is something to celebrate!

Book Recommendations 

♡ The Binge Code by Alison C Kerr

♡ Women Food And Hormones by Sara Gottfried

♡ The Food Therapist by Shira Lenchewski MS RD

♡ The Good Gut by Justin Sonnenburg

♡ Feed Yourself by Leslie Schilling 

♡ Reclaiming Body Trust by Hilary Kinavey MS LPC 

♡ The Food Mood Connection by Dr Uma Naidoo

[spatialwave]

"all mine."

pairing: lee russell x fem!reader word count: 2.5k summary: as the youngest teacher on staff, you enjoy taking your peers out for a night of dancing, drinking and gossiping. lee russell was one of the few who joined, the married man you’d fallen hopelessly in love with. warnings/tags: mdni! smut, affair/cheating, dirty dancing, oral (m-receiving), verbal degradation, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, i feel like i made lee a little ooc so forgive me!

“oh, come on, lee,” your voice was soft and gentle, humming sweetly like a songbird, “it’s friday night, and you’d rather go home? really?”

hazel eyes settled on you as you shared a table in the staff room. it was sixth period and you had a planning period. you may have been the youngest member of staff, but you were the most organized, meaning you could waste the hour away with your favourite person at north jackson high.

vice principal lee russell.

your bottom lip was jutted out in a pout as he stared at you with his chin in both hands. he kept a straight face for a few moments until he scoffed and waved you away, “don’t give me that fuckin’ look, you’re too good at guiltin’ people into doin’ shit. you’re a bad influence.”

you gasped, sitting up straight, “that’s rich coming from you. i recall you asking me to help you dig dirt on gamby when he was pissing you off last year, and i followed him around for an entire saturday like some serial-killer stalker. a saturday when i was supposed to hang with my girlfriends, mind you, so don’t get all grouchy with me about being a bad influence.”

he pursed his lips and his gaze flickered between your eyes, “fine, if you must know, i’m starting to feel old as shit, okay? everytime we go out i end up at home at four in the goddamn morning with a migraine and the luxury of a two-day fuckin’ hangover” lee admitted, “it’s a real pain in the ass, you know. if it isn’t for you pukin’ your guts out and needin’ help home every weekend, i’d be back home in the comfort of my own bed at a normal fuckin’ time.”

you lips curved into a small smile as you listened to the man whine and complain, “not my fault that someone buys me shots all night.”

“and that was the last time because i learned my fuckin’ lesson. you can’t handle your alcohol,” he pointed a finger at you, lips lifting at the corners to match your sweet, little smile.

lee russell was smitten with you, and it was a slippery slope that he’d been sliding down. he was a married man, after all, but the marriage came with its own complications.

“great talk. i’ll see you tonight, lee.” you winked at him, taking your coffee, and giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze as you walked past him. lee’s eyes stayed on your body, watching your hips sway with each movement.

you had him wrapped around your finger, and he fucking hated it.

loud music and flashing lights filled your senses as you sipped on your vodka soda, waiting for your peers to arrive as time ticked away. amanda, bill and jen were always ready to crush back shots and forget about the bullshit week of classes with you, but even they were late.

you checked your cellphone as you leaned up against the bar, seeing if you had any missed messages from your colleagues. nothing.

you downed the rest of your drink and made a stop in the washroom to touch up your makeup and adjust your outfit—something special you wore in hopes to impress lee. a short, black skirt that hugged your curves and a black halter top held with thin straps that did little to cover your skin.

staring at yourself in the mirror, you felt a mix of emotions, mostly disgust and embarrassment. lee was married, and here you were hurting your feet with four-inch heels and wearing an uncomfortable skirt in hopes that he’d see you and want to ravage you.

all for him to not even show up.

you swallowed your pride. maybe you would forget about the married man if you met someone nice on the dancefloor. someone single and your age.

your heels clicked against the tiled floor as you left the bathroom, eyes flickering around the busy club when your gaze settled on the man you’d fallen madly in love with. he was at the bar with two shots in front of him, hazel eyes eagerly searching for you. you stayed in the shadows a bit longer, your heart rate skyrocketing as you watched him standing there in his dark grey suit with red-patterned button down peeking from underneath.

he was such a dork—a nicely dressed dork.

those eyes you loved flickered in your direction, and your stomach filled with butterflies when his lips pulled into a toothy grin. he hadn’t even needed to beckon you, your legs working beyond your brain as you sauntered to his side.

“lee,” you beamed, wrapping your arms around your friend and giving him a quick hug, smelling the expensive, intoxicating cologne, “you’re the only one who showed,” your breath tickled his ear as you spoke, pulling back with a coy smile in your lips. you were quick to notice the way he looked you up and down, settling on your revealed skin until he met your eyes.

“really? no one else came?” he was shocked as he spoke, “well, those assholes are missing out,” he slid one of the tequila shots over to you, “because tonight is the fucking night we party our goddamn brains out. we’re not goin’ home until the sun is risin’, baby, i promise you that.”

the casual pet name sent a shiver up your spine, “what happened to being too old?” you asked with a smirk.

“a moment of weakness,” lee replied, “i’m lee fuckin’ russell, i’m fuckin’ invincible. i wanna’ get goddamn wasted!”

the tequila was warm down your throat, but you cringed at the taste. your work companion cheered, inhaling through his teeth sharply, “shit, that’s good,” he breathed, waving for the bartender to bring another round as he laid out cash on the counter to pay.

the second one went down smoother than the first, a lazy grin smeared along your lips as you focused your attention back on lee. he was already staring at you, smirking.

“why are you looking at me like a piece of meat?” you teased, licking your lips, and smoothing down the front of his suit with a delicate hand. your nails were painted a deep shade of red that matched his shirt.

“i’m allowed to admire a pretty woman,” he replied oh-so confidently, and you knew that he had showed up to the club with a few drinks already in his system, “did you dress up for me?”

this was the side of lee russell you always enjoyed seeing. the side that focused his attention solely on you, and made you feel wanted.

“you’re so full of yourself,” you laughed, cheeks warm, “i may have kept you in mind when i was getting ready.”

“i can tell,” he cocked his head to the side, unashamed in the way he reached forward and brushed your hair behind your ear. this was wrong on so many levels, but the thrill was a high that you chased, and you dared not to think about the consequences.

with the alcohol coursing through your body and the loud, bass-heavy music guiding your thoughts to the filthiest parts of your mind, you snagged lee’s hand in your own and laced your fingers together. lee russell was in a trance as he watched you lead him where the crowd of clubbers danced together—bodies grinding and arms strung around necks.

you glanced over your shoulder at him, the hunger in his eyes easy to spon even under the unpredictable lighting.

you were about to spin around and face the man, but you were surprised when his free hand landed on your hip, squeezing over the fabric of your skirt. his chest pushed flush against your back, lips tickling against your ear and causing a shudder to escape your lips.

it had been a long time since you danced like this with anyone, most nights you’d jump around the dancefloor with amanda and jen, sharing drunken laughs as lee watched you from afar. this was better.

his hips moved effortlessly with the music, yours moving in tandem as your ass bumped and swayed against the growing hard-on underneath his suit pants. your arms lifted above your head, his hands sliding up and down your sides, feeling over the bare skin revealed by your skimpy outfit.

you looked around the club, blinking and unable to focus on anything with the bright flashes of neon lights and tens of couples in the same situation as yourself. the alcohol had skewed your vision and all you could focus on was how wet you were between your legs, and the feeling of lee’s fingers caressing your exposed skin

“lee,” you breathed his name out as your head lolled back to rest against his shoulder, able to brush your lips against his jaw while hands tightened over your hips, “this is… wrong,” you could hardly speak.

your morals were showing, but you hadn’t the willpower to stop.

“it’s okay,” he hushed, head tilting enough that his lips barely brushed against yours, and it was then the alcohol seemed to hit you all at once.

you were quick to turn around in his arms, wrapping them around his neck and forcing your lips together in a kiss that had been dangling between you two for months. he licked into your mouth, parting your lips until he could slide his tongue against yours, fighting for dominance that wasn’t hard to win and leaving you wanting more.

everything happened fast.

one moment you two were tongue-fucking each other on the dancefloor, the next you were hidden away in the washroom on your knees with lee’s hands in your hair. his length was pushed deep in your throat as you sucked him off, addicted to the way his face twisted in pleasure as your tongue glided along the underside of his cock.

the music was muffled, but the washroom was loud with the sounds of girls chatting and laughing. doing coke together in the stalls, pouring alcohol out from the flasks they snuck in, and making so much noise that you weren’t worried when lee would choke out a moan or gasp your name.

your hands pressed against the front of his thighs as you bobbed your head, lips perfectly wrapped around him as his cock twitched in your mouth.

“get up,” he moaned shakily, taking your hair in his hands and yanking you from his cock. lips parted from it with a soft ‘pop’ and lee wanted so badly to keep going until your makeup was streaming down your cheeks, but he needed you, “i want to fuck you, baby,” he murmured, staring down at your eager, young face, “you won’t tell anyone, will you?”

“mhm,” you whimpered as you stood, and he pinned you against the door of the stall, “it’s our secret, just ours. i promise—”

he shut you up with his lips, a hand reaching down, so his fingers could push past your panties and waste no time in making you squirm and moan. two fingers plunged inside your cunt, and he smiled against your lips, “you’re so easy, aren’t you?”

the degradation wasn’t surprising, and you welcomed it wholly.

“bet you’ll take my cock so fuckin’ easy too, won’t you, baby?” he breathed heavy against your jaw, leaving sloppy kisses against your skin as his fingers stretched you just right, “do you want it? tell me how bad you want my cock and i’ll think about giving it to you.”

“lee,” you squirmed, hips twitching as you tried to stay upright with your legs spread for him, “i want it bad, really fucking bad. please, i need it.”

that’s all it took for lee’s impatience to get the best of him. he hooked one of your legs around his hips and replaced his fingers with his cock, slow as he filled you and pulling back to watch your pretty mouth go slack as your cunt ached around him.

“i’m not on the pill,” you were quick to whisper in his ear, your hips shaking as he started rocking his. you buried your face against his neck, scared to scream his name and let everyone in the bathroom know what you were doing.

“fuck,” he groaned into your ear, one hand on your thigh wrapped around him, the other against the metal stall door next to your head while yours tugged on his hair for dear life, “it’s okay, we’ll be okay. just—fuck,” he couldn’t finish his scrambled thoughts, his mind going blank as he fucked you slow and steady, “just shut up and take it.”

you listened obediently like you always had with him, your head falling back against the door as he fucked you, surprisingly tender in his movements. his hips rocked against yours slowly, stretching deep into your heat and leaving you a pathetic mess that could hardly stand on one foot.

“you’re so tight,” lee grunted, biting underneath your ear hard enough to leave a mark, “and you’re all mine, all fucking mine.”

you pressed a hand to your lips, shutting yourself up as lee’s movements quickened. the stall door started squeaking with each forward kick of his hips, and neither of you cared at this point. all you could do was take it like he told you, legs parted and cunt squeezing around his cock until he came, filling you like he dreamed about doing every night.

the following monday had rolled by too quickly for your liking. you’d spent most of your sunday alone in your apartment, recovering from your night out and wallowing in the guilt that came with being lee’s mistress of the night. he’d gone home before sunrise, dropping you off at home in your shared taxi and sending you off with a kiss that had you feeling all kinds of confused.

your stomach twisted as you thought about seeing him today.

the morning bell hadn’t rung yet, and you were lounging in the staff room with a coffee in your hands and listening to the chatter of teachers having their last few moments of freedom.

“bummer that you had to cancel saturday night,” amanda’s voice caught your attention as she walked into the staff room, “but i hope you’re feeling better. there is nothing worse than wasting your weekends being sick.”

you perked up, confusion on your face as she poured her coffee.

“after lee let us all know you weren’t feeling good on friday he planned for us to go to this new bar on the other side of town. it was actually really fun, but can you believe this?” she peered over her shoulder to look at you, “he didn’t even show up.”

[silvermarley]

i know its a tad weird, but... do you think muzan would be ok with period sex? its technically free blood... and reader wont have cramps during it

You’re all good! I mean demon + free blood?? Sorry it’s super late 🙏🏻

Period Sex

Muzan x Reader

Warnings: blood obv, a bit rough?, cunnilingus, fem! body parts, minor degradation, established relationship, unprotected sex

WC: 2.1k

Demons have an unquenchable thirst for blood. They typically don’t care about their human victims, as they’re only a mere blood bank to them. The same is said about the infamous and overwhelmingly powerful king of all demons, Muzan Kibutsuji.

But, he has a unique situation that has taken hold of him for the past few days. You see, he’s not ignorant of the human body, but there’s something he didn’t know about. Mortal women bleed once a month, as their bodies ready themselves for eventual pregnancy.

Muzan’s situation is unique because of his lover. A human woman, one which he couldn’t kill. One that he found himself seeking out, and the person who makes his cold heart(s) beat. It was obvious that since he was a demon, he would seek out any blood he can get. You knew that. So when it was your time of the month, you would make up some excuse to be left alone for the duration of your period. That was your plan every month.

Eventually, the demon king saw the pattern in the times you would ask to be alone. It made his teeth clench just thinking about why that would be. You were a loyal partner, of course, but that fact didn’t come up in his mind when it would start to go over reasons as to why he had to go days, if not a week without you. Who would dare to impose on my relationship, he thought. You were his. He has the right to be with you everyday, so why? Why must you insist on taking.. vacations, as he called it, so often?

For the time away, you would suffer through your period. The cramps, bleeding, and aches.. all of it. Not only were you unsure of what Muzan would do if he knew about this, but you also didn’t want to bother him with your vulnerable and emotional side. In the end, he’s a man-eating demon. It had been long enough for you to understand that he wouldn’t dream of killing you, no matter how angry he felt. But just the thought of him knowing about your period was quite frightening.

Muzan isn’t a very patient man, unfortunately. He wanted to know why you kept leaving and distancing every time. Why you were keeping something from him.

You had your own room, and you didn’t really use it until the time came. You much preferred to spend your nights with him. But in this case, it wasn’t possible.

He knew where you went monthly, considering nothing in the infinity castle gets past him. And now, he was heading there in search for answers. As he got closer to the room, he caught the scent of blood. Your blood?

In a matter of seconds after his keen sense of smell caught that scent, he was sliding open the door to your room. You jumped upon seeing him, not know what to do now that he was here.

“Are you injured?” He asked after a pause. His eyes glowed at the smell, even in the dimly lit space.

His eyes scanned over your form, covered in a blanket and your face, showing many emotions. Confusion, fear, and above all pain. Not pain from any injury, like he was thinking. At your silence, he was about to seethe in anger at who would be brainless enough to lay a hand on you. Until you spoke up.

“No..” your voice was slightly shaky. You had no idea how he would react if you told him about your dilemma.

Heavy footsteps are heard as he walks over to you. “Then?” His arms cross skeptically. “What aren’t you telling me, Y/N?” Muzan’s voice was firm, yet you could tell this was his way of checking on you.

You sigh. This was inevitable. You couldn’t hide this for all eternity, anyways. “I’m not hurt.. I’m on my period.”

His eyebrows furrow curiously. Right.. he likely didn’t know that about you.

“Every month, I..” you calm yourself, only stopping your words to whince at the pain in your stomach. “..bleed. It’s something women go through.”

“Every month..? How come I smell your blood, but i have yet to see it?” He kneels by you to inspect your body. Most of which was still covered.

He wasn’t reacting badly so far, which came as a surprise. Turns out his restraint is much better than you thought. Now, it was just embarrassing to explain it.

“Because I bleed from down there..” you began to mumble, face heating up slightly at how you couldn’t bring yourself to say the actual thing you’re referring to.

His ruby colored eyes glowed once more, this time for a different reason. Before you could protest, he lifted the blanket from your body to see your bloodied lower region. He couldn’t stop the groan leaving his chest as the scent got more prominent. You noticed his grip on the blanket tightened.

“And you thought to hide this from me?” His gaze then returns to your face.

You nod hesitantly. “It’s just.. I didn’t know how you would react. And I didn’t want you to deal with it..”

“Deal with the blood?” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Do you know who I am? What I am?” You felt a cold finger trail from your jaw to your collarbone.

“I-I know.. but the blood isn’t all of it. It also causes stomach cramps and mood swings.” You stutter, yet you felt little to no fear right now due to the look in his eyes. It wasn’t of murderous intent.

His hand trails down further to your stomach and he rests it there. “..Is it hurting now?” He questions, and when you nod again, he inquires more about it. He inhales. “It’s hard to resist the scent of your blood. Especially after hearing where it’s coming from..”

Warmth spread across your cheeks at the comment. You didn’t know where he was going with this.

“I think I know how to assist you with the pain.” This would be a sweet thing to hear, if it weren’t for the sinister smirk on his face.

He begins pushing the blanket completely off your body. After it was successfully moved to the side, he took in the view. He was getting hungrier by the minute. Drool fell from his lips a little at the sight. He needed to taste it. And he wasn’t one to play with his meals.

Muzan pulls down your shorts, tossing it aside to see the mess that is your panties. He groaned again, unable to stop himself from licking a stripe on your clothed core, tasting your sweet blood through the fabric. You gasped, feeling much more sensitive than normal, but also hot due to his boldness.

He rips your sad excuse for underwear and dove right into what he’s been craving ever since he smelled your sweet blood. He’s no stranger to pleasuring you with only his tongue. But god, this felt so good. So different. Like he was trying to devour you whole. Like he’s parched and the only thing that can quench it is the mess between your thighs.

The demon’s tongue moved languidly at first, to savor the taste of both your arousal and the tempting red liquid. But the muscle moved quicker with time, desperately needing to taste all of you. You writhed and grabbed onto the only thing keeping your mind in reality, his wild and now unkempt black locks.

Your needy tugs to his hair only made his movements more determined. The heat in your lower stomach was rising at a rapid pace not even you could keep up with. The area that was previously aching with pain was now flooding with pleasure. Muzan’s nails dug into your upper thighs as he feasted on everything you were giving him. The pain shouldn’t have felt so good, but with the drag of his demonic tongue, god it did.

Your orgasm hit you like a flash, as your arched into his head and stuttered his name loudly. The growl he let out was low and heavy. He licked up your mixed juices while you twitched and shook.

He then lifted himself from you. His pupils were blown wide and his lower face was messy. “Divine, just as I thought.” He murmurs, “Your essence is sweet, and mixed with your blood..” he takes in a breath, and trails off.

You caught your breath, which was knocked out of you for a moment. Before you had time to respond, he’s making his next move. You glanced down as he sat up, noticing his prominent erection in his dress pants. It made you wonder how it would feel inside you now that you were on your cycle. You were sensitive already, but this time it was enhanced surely.

His sharp teeth nearly shined as he grinned darkly at you. “Your blood is irresistible.. and I can’t wait to see such delectable essence on my cock.”

His grin widens a bit more at seeing the you bite your lip with replenished need. You two have been intimate many times before, but this felt like so much more. With this, he could have claim every part of you, in your weakest state. In your most vulnerable time. And that thought alone has been driving him wild since he tasted you.

You barely even noticed when he took off his pants and vest, leaving his formal shirt slightly unbuttoned as he was too desperate to be inside you. Having said that, you also failed to notice when he was now hovering over you and positioning himself at your entrance. You feel his warm breath on your neck as he carefully plunged in. There was a mutual groan shared as he pushes in, inch by inch.

The mix of slick and blood made it easier to stuff you full of his cock. When he bottomed out, he couldn’t resist biting your shoulder. You whined from both pain and pleasure, as he laps up more of your sweetness. The taste of it on his tongue caused him to begin thrusting. “Always such a good little human, hm?” He rasps.

You let out a strangled moan at the sheer power of his thrusts in an attempt at a response. Your mind couldn’t even think about the pain in your abdomen with how good he was making you feel. His head pulls back to watch your lewd expressions. It was always his favorite. Just seeing how much of a mess he can make of you gets him going.

Even as such an individual as mighty as Muzan, he still falls into the irresistible pleasure he gets from you. The feelings he once was unfamiliar with, came easily when he met you.

His nails dig into your hips this time as with each thrust he pulls you to him, only increasing how deep he hit. Your whines echoed off the walls of your room, mixing with the slaps of skin. A faint but audible set of groans and grunts can also be heard from the man above you. Only you could drag these uncontrollable noises from the king himself.

The demon threw his head back, gripping under your thighs to bring them to your chest. That served to make him go even deeper than you thought possible. Your body was trembling under him, and the feeling of getting close came creeping up on you. The tightening of your pussy made his noises turn into something more animalistic. “Make a beautiful mess on my cock. I know you want to.” He coos breathily, his alluring eyes staring at your face.

And you were more than happy to follow as he said. Body twitching and ecstasy taking over, you came hard. Your mind was effectively taken over by the intensity of it all. A deep growl came out of his mouth as you convulsed and nearly milked him for all he’s worth. He felt close, and quicker than normal. The circumstances played a big part in speeding up his gratification in indulging in you.

You could barely keep your eyes open as he relentlessly thrusted, overstimulation making you shake pathetically. He reveled in your form and the sensation. After a few more harsh thrusts, he gives a final one that fills you with his cum. “That’s it,” he moans huskily, “Take it all..”

When he spilled all he could into you, he pulled out and let his dick lay on your stomach. He looked down at the fluids connecting it to your messy cunt. A sight he could get used to.

Though, he’s no weak man by any means. It wasn’t long before his stamina allowed him to become hard again. A desire-filled smirk was plastered on his face. “You should know that I am far from done.”

As his lover, you definitely knew that. But as a human, you weren’t sure how far he would take it this time. The king wasn’t going to give you time to think about that, however.

——

[ch6sos]

more nanami headcanons (but as your bf !!!)

a/n: hey everyone! thank you for all the support on my last headcanon post. i never really expected it to go far, but somehow it did. it was my first time ever posting a "fic" you know? i was cringing the entire time but it was worth it, for you guys :) since it did well, here is some more!

i used third person by the way so you're referred to as his partner. tried to make this as gender neutral as possible cuz i love you guys

cw: slight suggestiveness (ooooh... but it's not extreme you sillies)

Extreme gentleman. He respects their wishes all the time. If they want space, he will give it to them. He will give them whatever they ask for.

Pays on the first date. He forbids their significant other from doing anything. He will pay because he wants to. He truly wants to, not because he feels obligated to.

Would be kind of shy about doing anything at first, especially Teen!Nanami. Even after a long period of dating, he would always ask before showing affection because he does not know if they feel comfortable or okay with it.

"May I please hold your hand? Are you okay with that?

"...We've been dating for a month."

"I know, but, I must ask, you know? In case it makes you uncomfortable.”

When he (as well as they) grow comfortable, the affection begins to become more "intense." Not intense, but he does it more frequently. He holds their hand more, gives more kisses, more hugs...

He would give the best hugs. He is a cuddle machine. He appears to hate them, but does he truly? Exactly. No, he does not. He loves them so much. He wishes he could give up his job to spend the entire day cuddling with his partner.

"Stay close to me, please."

"I don't plan on moving."

"Good. I wish life were like this every day." He hums, squeezing them gently.

Kisses with him are never short; even if he is late. He never leaves his significant other hanging. He craves and desires to kiss them. He enjoys giving his partner a passionate kiss, drawing them near to his chest, and placing his hand behind their head, leaving a memory of the kiss that is warm, tender, and unforgettable.

Genuinely feels like he could share his emotions with his significant other. Yeah, he is still serious, because it's who he is. He was raised in a family surrounded by serious people. Though, throughout the relationship, he learns how to express his emotions better. He feels like he genuinely could reveal all the emotions he has stored in him already around his significant other. If he's feeling upset, he would genuinely express that to them. If something ticked him off, he would sit down and talk to his partner about it.

Despite all of that, he still is more of a listener than a rambler. He prefers putting others first before him, and that also goes for who gets to talk. He enjoys looking at their partner with a loving gaze, as they talk nonsense. Whether it is about the new show they picked up, their day, or the latest gossip, he loves listening.

He would write love letters. I do not care if you find that corny. He is corny. He will write love letters. Nanami is romantic. I don't care what anyone says he is a romance god who does not get to show it off as much. He loves writing lengthy letters, showing the love he has for his partner. Describes their personality and how much he cherishes them, how much he thinks they're beautiful, and how he thinks that they are the stars in the night sky that stand out.

Playing with his partner's hair is (one of) his favorite ways to show affection. If they have long hair, he loves to try styling it and ruffling it. If they have type 4 coily hair, he starts learning how to take care of it so he can try protective hairstyles on them.

Another thing is lazy Sundays. He loves Sundays. Even though he has to go to stupid work the next day. The sensation of them being in his arms when he wakes up, his arms encircling their bodies firmly, the sheets covering them. He enjoys gently leaning in to kiss their shoulders, the top of their head, and the back of their neck. When they began to stir, he pulled them closer— not wanting to get out of bed. All he wants is to spend Sunday morning in bed with his lovely partner.

Gets flushed at compliments, but it is not as obvious. When their significant other says he is handsome, he smiles softly and thanks them, but on the inside, he is freaking out.

Cooks breakfast in bed for them. Always. He loves getting up just to make his significant other the tastiest breakfast ever; it is his specialty. He prepares a warm beverage and some fruit-flavored crepes topped with Nutella and whipped cream.

Before meeting them, Nanami was kind of an insomniac. He would not sleep; hence why he has dark circles. But after meeting them, he started sleeping more. Despite everything, he continues to get up before his partner to prepare breakfast for them.

Not only that but when he was stressed, he would drink his sorrows away rather than confide in someone. Since the fan book claims that he enjoys drinking, I think that, unfortunately, one of his coping mechanisms is doing exactly that. However, since meeting them, he has kept everything under control. He learned to express himself more freely and genuinely strives to avoid suppressing his emotions.

Bro is a simp. His mouth drops when he sees his partner dressed. His jaw falls to the floor. He is stuttering a bit too. I know he is supposed to be calm and collected but he would NOT be calm and collected around his significant other, people. He would go feral and be a simp for them.

He says I love you first. It was quite unexpected and seemed to come out of nowhere. He just blurted it out without waiting for the perfect moment or anything else. It was probably a simple morning, cuddling with him on the bed as usual, looking at each other fondly, and he said, "You know how much I adore you, right?"

When he realizes what he is saying, his eyes widen slightly, but then crinkle up when they tell him they love him as well.

He will do whatever his partner says. They could be 5'2 or around his height; he is a certified simp who immediately attends to their partner's needs.

Even if that includes forcibly doing silly TikTok trends. He pretends to hate it but he doesn't. He is a munch or whatever Ice Spice said.

He enjoys nuzzling his partner. Guys, I do not care. This man is a bundle of love wrapped up in a stoic-looking man. He enjoys sneaking up behind them, entrapping them in his arms, and nuzzling their neck and the top of their head. Wherever he wants, whenever he wants. And he utters sweet nothings. And leaves tiny, delicate kisses. He also wraps his arms around their waist.

He sometimes becomes overwhelmed, so he requires his own space. However, he does not simply distance himself from his partner. He properly expresses that sometimes he needs his own space. He still adores them but also needs some space. He does not want to cause conflict or misunderstanding because he is not that type of person.

Will be there for them when they are sick, even if they believe they look disgusting. He does not care; he believes they are the most beautiful sight he has ever seen in his entire life (which was cut short) (sorry, I am still coping). He will be there to care for them whether they are throwing up, crying, or whatever.

He cooks for them, he gives them medicine, he cuddles them even though he knows he may get sick...

And he does. Every single time. And he acts like a baby too.

Adorable tall, strong man Nanami acts like a baby when he's sick. He needs to be looked after completely. He starts off coughing (like a grandfather or a father). So his cough is obnoxious and loud, and he frowns. He then looks up at his partner, his expression reminiscent of a puppy who has been denied treats. It is an adorable sight. It's a turnaround from his usual chill demeanor. He then spends the entire day in bed, despite his attempts to do his routine tasks like cleaning and cooking for them, which they forbid. And he pouts about it like a big baby.

"Please let me take care of you. You took care of me, so now it's my turn."

"No, you're sick, Kento."

"That doesn't matter." He frowns.

“You always take care of me anyway.”

“But it is my honor to take care of you, my love.”

and then they end up having seven mental breakdowns

If they bring home a stray one day, he is reluctant on taking it but you know damn well he'd be like one of those dads that is hesitant about taking it at first but then ends up cuddling it the next day and then begging for them to not take it to the shelter.

Genuine sweetheart. Holds the door for their significant other, makes arrangements for them when they can not find the time, prepares meals for them, and if they come from a different culture, he starts to learn about it, particularly if they are involved in it.

...This guy is in no way aggressive. I have seen people mischaracterize him as a dominant "daddy" or whatever because he is serious, and Mappa blessed us with the hair-pulling scene. That scene was primarily caused by rage at Haruta's thoughtless harm to those around him and the fact that the man was going against two young girls. He would never act in such a way toward their partner, particularly when they were in bed. He is more of a gentle lover and is afraid of going too far.

Needs are needs, so if they ask, he will comply with some hesitation. He never seemed to get into it, so he tells them that.

That does not mean he is not into some stuff. Bro be praising. He praises hella and talks them through it.

"My love, doing so well for me."

"So beautiful, so gorgeous, all sprawled out for me like this."

“You’re mine. Until the end of time, angel.”

“God. My love, my everything. You drive me wild, you know that?”

“Eyes on me, sweetheart. Want to see how breathtaking you are from here.” All in his deep, ragged and needy voice.

that made me cringe

help I'm crying at the cringe so sorry

His favorite dates with them involve going to a restaurant. Nanami knows some hidden gems, so he enjoys taking them to restaurants where they can eat delicious food. Being a food enthusiast, it goes without saying that he is aware of the good and bad places to go. Because of Nanami's exquisite taste, they have never had to worry about their food.

As I previously stated, he prefers traditional nicknames such as sweetheart, my love, darling, angel, and beloved. I do not see him calling his significant other "baby," "baby girl," or whatever; I believe he finds it cringe-worthy. This is self-indulgent oops.

Sings softly to them while they are sleeping. He sings a song while they are sleeping because he is too ashamed of his singing. His vocals are not bad; he is just shy. (Little did he know, they had several recordings of him singing in secret...)

He will sacrifice his blanket in bed just to wrap it around his partner if they're cold. Bro would give them 90004868787893 pillows, and 8 blankets if they said they were cold.

He exaggerates things. And when I say he exaggerates, I mean he goes to great lengths to win his partner over. If they enter a new niche, he buys *everything*. On date nights, he gives them large bouquets if they like that, and he treats them as if they were royalty.

"You didn't need to get me this entire figure collection from *series*... I feel so bad."

"Well, do not worry, I enjoy buying these things for you. I see how happy you are, and it immediately warms my heart.”

Arguments with him are not bad. He truly never gets upset to the point of yelling because that is not who he is—he is not a guy who yells and he does not want to cause trauma to people in general. Again, though, he seems composed, and it might be frightening. But he then does something right away that causes his partner to instantly give in. Bro could just breathe and they're like "OKAY" and yeah. I understand. I would fold so hard bro.

His love languages include quality time and acts of service. He loves spending every single second with his partner and is immediately angry at the world when he has to work overtime and can not have more time with them. He enjoys taking them on dates or simply staying at home on lazy days. He loves spending time with them. Furthermore, he expresses his love by doing things for his partner, such as assisting them with their work (if he could), giving them massages when they are stressed, cooking for them all the time, washing their dishes even when they beg him not to, eating the olives off of their plate if there are any... He is the king of acts of service.

He is not good at taking pictures. His large thumb keeps covering the lens, so they have to force him to take the pictures repeatedly. Despite this, he never becomes irritated because he gets butterflies just watching his partner pose in their gorgeous clothes.

Speaking of photos, he already had an Instagram account beforehand. (As much as he hates to admit it, Gojo is sometimes the one who takes the aesthetic photos on his page.) He was not active, but he has a few posts on it, but as soon as they got a partner, oh lord Jesus. Bro will post on his Instagram story every single second.

Even though this happens, he prefers to make his relationship private. Private but known, you know? He wants the world to know that he is lucky enough to date them, but still not reveal information or talk about his relationship to anyone. So he would take those private but not secret type relationship photos.

Captions are always complimenting them and are extremely poetic. He's just that guy.

"saw a breathtaking sight. the beach is also there."

“every aspect of you captivates me, body and soul.”

"we are all floating around with the stars and the universe, and it somehow led me to you."

cringes again

Off-topic but not, Nanami would NEVER, and I mean... NEVER, go for his student if he was a professor, even if their relationship is legal. I can't stand it when people do that. He understands that there's a power dynamic behind it and it's low-key creepy how much people enjoy it.

Along with stepcest. Why do so many of you like stepcest? Nanami is not touching any of his family members. I'm scared to say this and this is probably hella controversial for this app but he's not touching anyone even if they're not technically related.

Age gap too. He would not date someone extremely younger than him. He is not going to be 40 and dating a 19-year-old. I just can't see it.

Other than that, he does not have any preferences when it comes to appearance. He has turn-offs, but not in terms of appearance. He could care less about what someone looks like.

In terms of personality, he dislikes negative people. He despises that. He would feel guilty if he became involved with someone unconcerned about the world. He also dislikes immaturity and pettiness.

He prefers people who bring positivity into his life, you know? Someone much more outgoing than he is, but still a mature person with whom he could relate. The more extroverted they are the more they bring out of him. As long as they're not so overwhelming to him.

Even so, he simply enjoys people for their kindness and consideration. How willing they are, how passionate and motivated they are. He simply wants someone who is driven by their goals.

Texts them dad memes he found on Facebook.

“Look at it, it’s funny.”

“...lol”

“You laughed at least a little bit right?

“...No?”

“Okay. I apologize :(“

LAUGH AT HIS FACEBOOK MEMES PLEASE. THEY ARE NOT THAT BAD PLEASE.

When he met their family, he appeared calm and collected, but he was nervous. He was fidgety on the way to their house, something he had only ever done in high school. He experiences anxiety about whether he would be accepted by them or whether he would be good enough.

“Wow, I have never seen you this fidgety before.”

"I apologize. It’s just… What your family might think worries me. I am not sure if I will meet their expectations. I simply want to let them know how much I genuinely adore you for who you are and how much I want to be yours forever."

And they are like ??? because this man is perfect? He is the dream man anyone could ever ask for.

Do not take this man mini golfing bro he sucks ass… I know you guys think just because he is partly white he will immediately be good at golf but no. He sucks ass.

He would be protective, but not excessively so. He is devoted to his partner and will intervene quickly if someone upsets them, intimidating them with his composed demeanor.

"I advise you to distance yourself from them before I regretfully have to take action, okay? We wouldn’t want that, right?” Dumbledore says, calmly. While puffing out his chest. And mewing. And mogging. Whatever that means.

Okay fine, he will watch Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives, Love & Hip-Hop, etc with them. Pretends to hate it but he is invested.

Imagine just going to the bedroom and just seeing him in his reading glasses, sitting up against the headboard, immersed in the book in front of him. The only thing he has on is a simple white tee that does justice to his figure and pajama pants.

Yup feral.

Tries to get into the things their partner likes just so he can understand when they yap about certain things. He just wants them to talk about everything to him. He finds it adorable.

Allows their partner to give him a skincare treatment. He then begins to do it himself. Well, he would only use one product—a cleanser. That being said, he started using toner, serum, and other skincare products. And, yes, he allows them to put ridiculously cute facemasks on his face. And the cute little star pimple patches.

Do not take that man ice skating or rollerblading either. He would be so hesitant on going because he sucks at it. He just goes because his significant other told him to. He fell immediately.

“This sucks.”

“Stop sulking and hold my hand.”

“...You don’t even need to ask.” He says, all giddy.

Please show him the love and care he deserves.

When he works out he will flex on them on purpose. He thinks it is all funny to be all yummy. It is NOT funny.

Yup, he does push-ups while they’re underneath, each time he goes down he gives them a peck.

Yeah so imagine that with him in his compression shirt and shorts…

I could read your mind, people. You are not slick.

This man will not let his significant other have insecurities. He is the type to leave notes all over the bathroom, and every mirror, with encouraging words. Praising their looks and more. Plus he shows in…other ways (wink) how much he appreciates how beautiful he thinks they are.

If they are unhappy, he will truly be devastated. He is miserable when he sees them upset, so he does everything in his power to cheer them up. Whether that’s cooking something for them, taking care of them, trying to make them laugh, getting them something from the store, or sitting down and talking to them about their problems, he needs to make them feel happy.

When he drives, he would not put his hand on his partner’s thigh. He would much rather grab their hand, and put it on his lap, as he listens to them hum along to the radio. He purposely moves the mirror slightly toward them, just so he can see how pretty they are through the mirror. He also looks at them with a slight smile at every stop-light, occasionally leaving small pecks on their face.

Does not mind if they steal his clothes. Go on then silly. He could care less. He thinks it’s cute as hell.

Would teach them how to do things. For example, he will teach them to play an instrument if they do not already, especially if he knows how. He looks like a lovesick fool as he watches them replicate what he did. Unable to resist the urge, he kisses them without reason.

“What was that for?”

"I could not hold back. You are very tempting."

“Is that a good thing?”

“Yes. You are everything I think about and want."

Butterflies all around people.

His only red flag is that sometimes he may prioritize work over his relationship. He unfortunately gets into the stress of work and begins to grind more at work. Call him out and he gets back into his senses.

Buys more storage space for his Samsung S24 Ultra to retrieve more pictures of them. His camera roll is nearly full. Just because of his significant other, his camera roll increased from roughly 150 images to over 13,000 images.

When he comes home from work, he immediately collapses on the couch or their shared bed, on top of them. He then looks like a sleepy puppy.

“Someone’s tired.”

“I hate overtime.”

“I know you do. I cooked something for you.”

“I could have just cooked for the both of us…”

“But I knew you’d come all tired from work. So no.”

“That doesn't matter, you know? I love taking care of you. Just to see that pretty smile on your face.” He pouts, once again.

He ends up making it up to them. You can interpret that however you want.

As soon as this man sees them in formal attire (or in general) it is OVER. His jaw is on the bottom of the earth, his eyes are slightly widened, a blush on his face.

“I have no words. God, I don't know how someone could get even more impossibly perfect, yet here you are, darling. No matter how many times I see you, you still manage to take my breath away.”

yup heart attack

Prepare for so many compliments daily. He talks like a true romance book. None of that Colleen Hoover stuff.

Talks about his partner like a true gentleman. He's not like those types of guys who just talk about their significant other as if they're his property. No. He talks about them as if they are an art piece.

Overall, he just loves his partner so, so much. He expresses it in a variety of ways, from taking care of them—to telling them every single second of the day. In his own words,

"Your presence in my life is like a breath of fresh air, keeping my heart full and content. I love you more than anyone could ever fathom, and I promise you, you have my heart for eternity."

i love him </3 NANMINPLEAEE BE RELALRHABADHDJSKDHSNEB

[adventures-in-mangaland]

Dead Boy Detectives: Fic Recs

My latest hyperfixation is Dead Boy Detectives, so oc I've been reading and commenting on a ton of fic. And it's been really nice because the response of the authors has been so warm. I don't think I've ever gotten so many replies so quickly! Also, the fandom has inspired me to actually start writing again for the first time in two years and I've got a great idea for a fanvid. (Any tips on how to make one would be appreciated! 😅)

So in tribute to the lovely fandom, here's a fic rec post (nearly all payneland):

in this city there's a thousand things I want to say to you by laiqualaurelote

Edwin has a sexual awakening and it blows Charles' mind. And other things. Very funny and well written. Also features minor Edwin/Cat King and Edwardian flirting.

I also highly recommend the saviour of the broken, the beaten, and the damned by the same author, which is a kind of multiverse!Edwin fic? Featuring Edwin dying? And Niko time travelling? Trying to save time? Anyway, interesting to see Edwin alive, ageing and in different periods of time/his life.

For the First Time Twice by MmmCookies

Amnesia fic! Charles loses his memories and thinks he and Edwin are married. Very cute (tandem bike date!) and well written, though Edwin's point of view still manages to be angsty. Also, the yearning is off the charts and the most recent chapter turned up the heat.

I guess you're stuck with me by Punny_Puck

AU in which Edwin and Charles actually got married pre-show. Funny, cute with a sweet marriage proposal prequel. Instant comfort fic.

Dance the Night by Gruoch

The gang are hunting an energy-sucking vampire that targets beautiful people, so naturally Edwin MUST disguise himself as the hottest girl in London. This one starts out fun and campy then takes a hard left turn into Serious Business. Prepare yourself for emotional moments, worldbuilding and some really excellent horror.

Long Past Time by sanctuary_for_all

Charles proposes to Edwin post canon. It's a short and sweet established relationship fic with some cool worldbuilding about ghosts and their ability to shape their clothing/appearances.

lay my hands on heaven by Opossum_Subatomic

I had to include a PWP and this is a great one. Extremely well written, in character and romantic. And explicit, obviously.

Data Points by Asidian

Edwin learns to cuddle. It's a production and completely adorable. I love a fic that explores the difference between the boys' physicality and this one's really on point. The writing and characterisation are great and it's nice to see Edwin taking care of Charles.

I also recommend Lanterns In the Dark, which sets the scene for Charles and Edwin's first meeting with some gut-wrenching details about Charles' homelife and Edwin's escape from Hell.

When I Was a Young Boy by flowerbritts

A Good Omens crossover and AU in which Aziraphale is Edwin's adopted father. Family reunions and revelations abound. Also, Edwin gets to be a teenager and slam doors while shouting, as he deserves.

The author has also written Wait, I'm Coming Too, which is a very sweet post canon 'Charles Worries About Edwin and Realises His Feelings' fic inspired by that 'Edwin reading Heartstopper' fanart. Both fics deserve more love!

A Slight Miscalculation by kantigone

Idiots in Love and Didn't Know They Were Dating. Crystal and Niko are the real MVPs, for real. A treat.

Terrible at Keeping Secrets (5+1) by ASingularSadSoggyPringle

Interesting demon!Edwin AU. Charles is a precious cupcake in this fic and Edwin is mostly the same with some Darker moments. I loved the concept and the author adds in some great, creepy details.

somaesthesia by perexcri

Edwin's journey from being touch-averse to touch-starved... at least when it comes to Charles. Palmistry is involved. I loved Edwin's characterisation and the unresolved sexual/romantic tension was on point.

And possibly I like the thrill (of under me you quite so new) by Leandra

Edwin explores his sexuality and re-negotiates his relationship with Charles. Meanwhile, the gang take on the case of a ghost who wants them to matchmake his still-living lover. Crosses over with The Sandman. And Edwin gets to be confident and flirty as a treat.

Always by How You Doing (FancyMeetingYouHere)

Hurt/Comfort fic in which Edwin has a traumatic flashback to the doll-head demon spider and Charles looks after him. Charles reading Good Omens to Edwin is a nice, meta touch.

Made You Look by Baby_Spinach

The agency are hunting an incubus that decides to take on Edwin's appearance. A repression explosion ensues. Fun fic.

Shape Me by dearheartdont

This one's actually a character study of Charles and his mixed race Indian heritage (so no Edwin) and it's so well done. It's also part of a series in progress about Charles growing up in the 80s with all the racism and homophobia that that entails. I look forward to seeing where it goes.

The Most Tender Place In My Heart by coloursflyaway

Edwin shares memories of how he fell in love with Charles, who figures out his own feelings in the process. It's super sweet and involves fun pre-show flashbacks and defintely deserves more attention!

I also loved Won't Fear Love by the same author, in which Charles takes Edwin out on dates and breaks the cuteness scales. And shout out to Good Enough which is the first fic I bookmarked for this fandom! 🥳

Anyway, thank you to all these amazing writers for making this fandom so special! 🥰

[nocturniashifter]

𝓐dvice for your Shifting Journey | Pick a Pile

Hello, my angels! After a long time without posting any PAP, here I am. This time it will be advice for your shifting journey and I will be using Lenormand for the first time on a pap as I am new to it, so I really hope you like it! ♡

┈─★ Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only and shouldn't be taken seriously or used as a substitute for legitimate advice. It's also a general reading, so it may or may not resonate with you. ┈─★ How to choose: Close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the image that catches your attention the most, trust your intuition.

── .✦ PILE 1

Cards: Moon, Mountain, Sun, Crossroad & Man ꤮ ࣪ ⏜ ꤮ 𝅄 ꤮ ࣪ ⏜ ꤮

Hello, pile one! You have already gone through several ups and downs along your journey and due to having faced difficult moments such as “failed” attempts or due to the fact that you have been trying for years, you ended up getting discouraged and some of you may have even stopped trying or felt like giving up halfway through. But, if you want to finally shift, you need to get your head up and do something about it because you will achieve it if you don't keep standing still and doing nothing.

Things may be difficult for you on your journey right now, but know that you will be able to get through this difficult period if you take the first step. The cards ask you to maintain a positive mindset because you will be successful on your journey – and when I talk about maintaining a positive mindset, it doesn't mean that you should get carried away by toxic positivity. On the contrary, throughout your journey you will encounter obstacles that may end up affecting you emotionally and the last thing you should do is repress your feelings and pretend that everything is fine as if negative emotions and feelings are going to stop you from shifting. Spoiler: that doesn't happen. So, when you come across a rock in your path that lets you down, don't repress your feelings but rather allow yourself to feel and express what you are feeling, take the time you need to process them and then let them go & continue your journey with your head held high.

At this moment, you need to decide which path you will take on your journey and you must leave behind the baggage of the past with all those things that no longer serve you, such as the limiting beliefs that you have cultivated in yourself. Stop for a moment and reflect on all the beliefs, good or bad, that you believe to be true about yourself or about shifting. Do you believe that you are capable of shifting and that you are already a master shifter: yes or no? Depending on your answer, you will already know where to start changing your mindset to one that will favor you and bear good fruit.

When you're working on your mindset/self-concept change, don't backtrack because it will only slow you down. It's like Neville Goddard said, you can't serve two masters at the same time – that is, you can't be in two states of being at the same time. Either you are or you are not. Either you are a master shifter who has shifted millions of times effortlessly or you are the person who regrets that they never managed to shift. In fact, there is absolutely nothing stopping you from shifting other than yourself and you may already be tired of hearing this, but it is the purest truth. You are your only limit.

── .✦ PILE 2

Cards: Lily, Scythe, Rider, Stork & Mice ꤮ ࣪ ⏜ ꤮ 𝅄 ꤮ ࣪ ⏜ ꤮

Hello, pile two! You are a person who has been in the shifting community for a long time (some have been there for months and others for years) and who over time has tried many different ways of shifting such as methods, meditations, subliminals and many others. And because you've been on this journey for a long time, you've become comfortable with the way things were or are at the moment. Too comfortable. There are two cases here: the first is that you ended up having many “failed attempts” that demotivated you and you ended up conforming to the false idea that you can't shift and the second case is that you ended up falling into your comfort zone and decided not to have new experiences on your journey – that is, you just do the same thing over and over again even if they aren’t working like they used to and don’t try new things.

Regardless of your case, at this moment you are stagnant and it is time to put an end to it if you want to move forward once and for all and free yourself from this period of stagnation because it is only holding you back. You need to stop for a moment and reflect on everything you've experienced on your journey so far, so you'll be able to identify the limiting beliefs you've placed on yourself that give you the false idea that there's something stopping you from shifting. Furthermore, you will be able to identify what worked for you and what is no longer working so that you can make space for this new phase in your journey. And by doing this, you will be able to change the direction things are going and you will be able to start over towards success.

I also see that you feel envious of other shifters who have already managed to shift, whether before you who have been in the community for a long time or even those who shifted more easily than you – and I don't blame you for that, but you must understand that if they can do it, YOU CAN FUCKING DO IT TOO! What makes you different from them? What makes you so special that you are the only person in the multiverse who is incapable of shifting to the reality you want when you have always done this your entire life without even realizing it?!

You need to be kinder to yourself, take care of yourself and stop comparing your journey to other people's journeys because we are all different and what works for one person won't necessarily work for you and that's okay, you just need to do what works best for you because it's your journey so you have every right to navigate it however you want. It is necessary that you cut once and for all everything that is no longer serving you on your journey and as soon as you do, a new chapter in your journey will begin.

── .✦ PILE 3

Cards: Bear, Stork, Tower, Mountain & Rider ꤮ ࣪ ⏜ ꤮ 𝅄 ꤮ ࣪ ⏜ ꤮

Hello, pile three! You have great power – especially because, at the end of the day, we are all the gods of our reality – and you may be tired of hearing that. But although you are aware of this, you do not actually recognize your own power. You don't really believe that you are really powerful, that you can shift realities whenever you want without anything stopping you and you don't trust your own potential, much less your abilities to change. Many of you even put your desired realities on a pedestal as if it were something unattainable or very difficult to achieve and that requires a lot of effort - but if you stop to think about it, it doesn't make any sense because there is nothing to try to achieve when you were always in your DR even before you discovered shifting.

Because of this, it is past time for you to start seeing yourselves as the powerful people you are and finally recognize your own power so that things can finally change once and for all. If you want things to change on your journey, YOU need to change first because you are in complete control of your journey and if you don't change, nothing will change. You need to go through a period of self-reflection, that is, set aside a moment in your day to reflect on your journey – on everything that has worked for you and what hasn't.

But most importantly, you need to change your self-concept about being a master shifter. If you assume you can't shift, you're right and the same goes if you assume you've already shifted and are a master shifter. Many shifters and manifesting people believe that when they assume a new state of being, they shift to a reality where this assumption is true. So if you assume you are a master shifter, you have just shifted into a reality where you are one and vice versa. That's how the law works, so do yourself a favor and use it for your own benefit and not to make things harder for yourself.

At this moment, things may be challenging on your journey or it will be challenging for you to change your self-concept - mainly because you will feel stuck in the old version of yourself (i.e. when you were the person who couldn't shift and are becoming one who has already shifted) while working to change your mindset but just keep persisting, that is, being the person who is already a master shifter without seeking validation in 3D because it's the 3D that needs your validation. But, regardless of what your case is, you will be able to overcome this and all your effort will be worth it in the end because you will have finally managed to achieve your goal!

© nocturniashifter – don't copy, redistribute or edit my content | dividers

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Thinking again about the darknesses that lurk underneath the surface of Sense and Sensibility (I have talked before about how Edward despite being the eldest is subjected to what we can argue is emotional and financial abuse by his family for years, and how the Dashwood women are disinherited on a whim of their great uncle), and this time specifically about the Brandons.

We get so little about them, and what we do get about them is all bad:

This lady was one of my nearest relations, an orphan from her infancy, and under the guardianship of my father... At seventeen she was lost to me for ever. She was married—married against her inclination to my brother. Her fortune was large, and our family estate much encumbered. And this, I fear, is all that can be said for the conduct of one, who was at once her uncle and guardian. My brother did not deserve her; he did not even love her... I have never told you how this was brought on. We were within a few hours of eloping together for Scotland. The treachery, or the folly, of my cousin’s maid betrayed us. I was banished to the house of a relation far distant, and she was allowed no liberty, no society, no amusement, till my father’s point was gained... My brother had no regard for her; his pleasures were not what they ought to have been, and from the first he treated her unkindly.

Mr Brandon Sr is shown to us as being a greedy man, a bad administrator of his estate, and a cruel father. His first son seems cut of the same cloth, and his pleasures were not what they ought to have been is one of the most, if not the most sinister line between all the Austen novels. But there's more about him!:

Her legal allowance was not adequate to her fortune, nor sufficient for her comfortable maintenance, and I learnt from my brother that the power of receiving it had been made over some months before to another person. He imagined, and calmly could he imagine it, that her extravagance, and consequent distress, had obliged her to dispose of it for some immediate relief.

The Brandons were married for two years; the colonel returns to England and starts looking for her 3 years later. Young Eliza was then a 3 year old toddler. We are obliquely told that Brandon cut all ties with his brother:

It was a valued, a precious trust to me; and gladly would I have discharged it in the strictest sense, by watching over her education myself, had the nature of our situations allowed it; but I had no family, no home; and my little Eliza was therefore placed at school. I saw her there whenever I could, and after the death of my brother, (which happened about five years ago, and which left to me the possession of the family property,) she visited me at Delaford.

Eliza is now 17, so the eldest brother died when she was 14, which is 16 years after his marriage with the older Eliza. In that period of time, he managed to squander the whole of her fortune, and put the estate in debt again, as we are told earlier on by Mrs Jennings:

Poor man! I am afraid his circumstances may be bad. The estate at Delaford was never reckoned more than two thousand a year, and his brother left everything sadly involved. I do think he must have been sent for about money matters, for what else can it be? I wonder whether it is so. I would give anything to know the truth of it. Perhaps it is about Miss Williams and, by the bye, I dare say it is, because he looked so conscious when I mentioned her. May be she is ill in town; nothing in the world more likely, for I have a notion she is always rather sickly. I would lay any wager it is about Miss Williams. It is not so very likely he should be distressed in his circumstances now, for he is a very prudent man, and to be sure must have cleared the estate by this time. I wonder what it can be! May be his sister is worse at Avignon, and has sent for him over. His setting off in such a hurry seems very like it. Well, I wish him out of all his trouble with all my heart, and a good wife into the bargain.”

We know the Bennets, with five daughters, and without a saving mindset, still manage to live very comfortably with 2000 a year, and if they had had any mind to save money, they could have provided all five of them with decent dowries/money enough to keep them out of poverty when their father died if they were single. It is clearly not that the money isn't enough, or that Delaford is an unproductive estate; in fact, it is described to us as almost paradisiac:

Delaford is a nice place, I can tell you; exactly what I call a nice old fashioned place, full of comforts and conveniences; quite shut in with great garden walls that are covered with the best fruit-trees in the country; and such a mulberry tree in one corner! Lord! how Charlotte and I did stuff the only time we were there! Then, there is a dove-cote, some delightful stew-ponds, and a very pretty canal; and every thing, in short, that one could wish for; and, moreover, it is close to the church, and only a quarter of a mile from the turnpike-road, so ’tis never dull, for if you only go and sit up in an old yew arbour behind the house, you may see all the carriages that pass along. Oh! ’tis a nice place! A butcher hard by in the village, and the parsonage-house within a stone’s throw. To my fancy, a thousand times prettier than Barton Park, where they are forced to send three miles for their meat, and have not a neighbour nearer than your mother.

One interesting character, though forgotten because only mentioned in passing, is the Brandon sister. On one of the quotes above we get that she's in Avignon for her health, and we know her husband is wealthy (and probably abroad with her) because it is his estate that the planned picnic is for:

A party was formed this evening for going on the following day to see a very fine place about twelve miles from Barton, belonging to a brother-in-law of Colonel Brandon, without whose interest it could not be seen, as the proprietor, who was then abroad, had left strict orders on that head. The grounds were declared to be highly beautiful, and Sir John, who was particularly warm in their praise, might be allowed to be a tolerable judge, for he had formed parties to visit them, at least, twice every summer for the last ten years. They contained a noble piece of water; a sail on which was to form a great part of the morning’s amusement; cold provisions were to be taken, open carriages only to be employed, and every thing conducted in the usual style of a complete party of pleasure.

It is implied that Brandon and his BIL are in very good terms (and we know he's not afraid of cutting ties with bad relatives), and one can safely guess that at the very least he cares enough about his wife as to have her travel for her health. Another guess can be made about her getting married about 10 years before the events of the book. Whether she lived at home before that, or was at school or somewhere else, it isn't said.

But this way you can feel there's a parallel in a way, between the Brandons and the Tilneys: a greedy, cruel father, a son that follows on his steps, and a younger brother and sister managing the toxicity as best they can. Talking about this with @bad-at-names-and-faces, she brought up the idea that in that scheme, Cathy would be Eliza (if it wasn't her not being an orphan, or a rich heiress, and how that connects with Austen's line about Cathy not being born to be a heroine at the beginning of Northanger Abbey). Certainly part of it is the romantic gothicness of the Brandon backstory, united with NA's commentary on Gothic tropes, but to me it drove home with even greater force how such a situation would break a man; losing Cathy that way would have definitely broken Tilney, and if we had met him 14 years down the line, would he have appeared to the unacquainted much different than Brandon appeared to the Dashwood sisters?

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 6.7 K Warnings: None. Prompt: It's a night to talk This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

Chapter 27: Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

Remus didn’t need to see your flushed cheeks nor did he need to hear your now slightly hoarse voice to realise what had happened behind the curtains. No, he would’ve noticed the moment you dipped back inside the cloak, you smelled divine, it was that combination of scents he just couldn’t get out of his head. 

Unfortunately, he had realised earlier, not because he was trying to pry, but because he had a really keen sense of hearing, sometimes the perks of being a monster weren’t all that convenient. He had leaned into the wall as he heard Sirius kiss you. He had seen him do it so many times, he thought he should already be immune to it. But fuck did he wish he was you at that moment. Which made him feel like shit, yet again. 

And then you came out, looking a little dizzy, trying to hide your stupid lovesick smile and he almost broke, how ever could he wish to take your place, when you looked so pretty like that? Sirius was lucky, you were lucky, and he was fucking miserable. 

And then you turned to him, a mischievous smile on your face as you placed every single ounce of your attention on him and he almost forgot why he was feeling so luckless. “I believe you have a certain thing to show me…” 

Remus, who was still a little fazed from all the emotions he had gone through in such a short period of time, had absolutely no idea what you were talking about “I do?” he asked. 

You arched your eyebrows, tilting your head down just a little, Remus swallowed, how was it possible he had been so close to having a heart attack from Sirius earlier and now that he was looking at you, staring at him like that, he felt completely and utterly enamoured by you instead? He must have had some serious issues if his mind could switch just like that in a matter of minutes.  

At the lack of response, you leaned towards him just a little, the same smile still playing on your lips, and you whispered “Something about a certain map I could finally see?” 

Remus seemed to finally know what you were talking about “Ah, the map!” he said with a smile and pulled a piece of parchment, the same one he had tucked in while Sirius pulled you between them that night. He handed it to you, a rather satisfied smile as you looked at it, moving it around and unbending the pieces of parchment glued on top of each other to try and find the map, but it was empty. 

You heard the boy chuckle and you narrowed your eyes at him, pulling your wand and placing it on top of the parchment “Revelio,” you whispered. Nothing happened. The boy chuckled again. You looked at him, mouth shut tight as he stared at you, clearly diverted. “Did you just hand me a blank piece of parchment to wind me up?” 

He shook his head, his lips pressed tightly as he tried to suppress a smile. He took a step towards you, closing the already short distance the cloak allowed the two of you to keep, and he leaned down a little, “Wand on the parchment,” he said. You gave him another look but followed his instructions, “bit more in the centre,” he said as he grabbed your hand to place it where it should be. 

You looked up at him, he was too focused on getting your hand in the right place to notice you were staring. He looked so pretty in the low light of the castle at night, his skin looking a little more golden and softer, the gilded specks in his eyes shining a bit more than normal. Britain really had gotten its hands on all the handsome bachelors of the century, there weren’t boys this pretty in your older school. You wondered if Alice knew how freaking lucky she was. 

Remus leaned in just a little bit more, close enough for his mouth to brush on your ear as he whispered something, the whole thing sent a shiver down your spine, you were not expecting his slightly rough voice to sip into your brain like it did. 

You gulped and nodded, he pulled back, and then you smiled, whispering “I solemnly swear, I’m up to no good.” Ink started appearing on the map, from the centre of your wand to all around it, you marvelled at the intricate details and letters drawn over the map. 

“Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers

are proud to present

THE MARAUDER'S MAP”

You looked at the drawing of the Whomping Willow and awed at the details of text written on every branch, aside from being a map, it was a piece of art, worthy of display. You looked up at him, the astonishment evident in your eyes, he smiled proudly, he knew for a fact you’d be fascinated by it, and you hadn’t even seen the entire thing. “Open it,” he prompted. 

You did as told, inside it was a detailed map of Hogwarts, from passageways to names of classrooms, to a way more elaborate version of the map Remus had drawn you a while back so you could feed your fireworms. You instantly recognized it and brushed your fingers over it, giving him a questioning look. He nodded, “There’s many more of them, the map has all the ones we’ve discovered.” 

Then you noticed, the small star was moving in one of the passageways, there was a deer and a rat in the common room and there was a moon right where you stood. You took out the moon charm Remus had given you earlier, it had exactly the same shape. You smiled “You’ve tagged each other, that’s how you found me!” 

He nodded, “Peter’s working on making one of you,” he said with a smile, “he’s using the charm of the necklace Sirius’ swiped from you a couple days ago.” 

“But… that’s silver,” you added alarmed, “I thought he was taking it away because he knew it’d hurt you, like he did with the ring that day. I was going to get rid of it.”

Remus smiled, “He’s transfiguring it into aluminium, it’s too pretty for you to throw it away just because it hurts me.”

“Nothing will ever be ‘too pretty’ not to throw away if it hurts you, Remus.” 

He cleared his throat after that, really trying to ignore the butterflies your words had made him feel. You thought of him as a friend, you were such a freaking incredible friend, why did he have to go and fall for you. 

“The makeout room Richie showed me should be somewhere over here,” you said pointing at a section of the map. 

Remus almost choked “The what?!”

“Oh… right, that’s what Richie used to use it for, and for keeping his illegal books I guess,” you said casually as you tried to figure out the details of the map, “What’s that?” you asked when you noticed there was a moving symbol with an “AF” written on top. It was walking a couple of passages away from you. There were other symbols with letters like that in different sections. 

“That’s Filch,” he said as he grabbed your arm and started pulling you towards the other side. 

“You tagged Filch?!” you asked surprised. 

“We started playing with a small little trinket until he confiscated it. We knew he’d keep it around, and now we know where he is all the time.”

You looked at him with a mix of admiration and shock, you already knew your friends were clever, only clever people could plan something like what you were about to do, but they weren’t just clever, they were also resourceful, imaginative, strategic and analytical. They were freaking geniuses. 

You followed behind him, both walking towards the dungeons and to the potions’ classroom. Once you arrived he pulled his wand out, but you shook your head, pulling out a copy of the keys. 

“How did you?” he asked as he saw you slide it in and heard the pins adjust into place. He was staring at you in awe. 

“He gave it to Lily to get some things earlier in the morning,” you explained “I got Alex Wood to teach me how to use Gemino a couple of weeks ago, and used it to make our very own copy.” 

He was sure he couldn’t be more in love with you than he was, until you said that. “Our”, the word lingered on his brain, he’d have to tell Sirius how goddamned sneaky his girlfriend was, he was sure to get a kick out of it. 

The two of you walked together, he waved his wand over the door of the ingredients room “No alarm spells,” he told you. You smiled and used the key to open it, there were rows and rows of ingredients in the small potion room. You had already gotten most of them, but you still needed some key things for the potion. 

Remus handed the book over to you and you went straight to the page with the ingredient list and marked what you already had in hand, and the two of you started to work together seamlessly, you’d say the name of the ingredient and he’d pull it from the shelf and put it on his bag. 

“Is that the last one?” he whispered as he saw you mark the paper with a pencil. 

You nodded, but then shook your head “No wait!” you said “Spider venom essence, grab some spider venom essence.” He turned to you,  an eyebrow arched: that wasn’t on the book, he knew. “Richie recommended it, he also said he might have some other useful ingredients on the hideout.”

Remus nodded at your explanation and leaned down to take the spider venom essence from the bottom shelf, along with  another small bottle and placed them on his shoulder bag “Now we’ve got everything.” 

You looked through the list and went over everything you had already gotten. “Indeed we do,” you said after a couple of seconds of concentration. He smiled at how cute you looked, from the angle where he was crouching in. 

“Let’s go to your makeout room then,” he said as he finally stood up. 

“We really need to find a better name for it,” you said as you rolled your eyes. You left the small ingredient closet and Remus placed the cloak around the two of you again. He took the book from your hands and placed it on the bag as you took the map again “Looks like the way’s empty, we just have to be a bit more careful with the prefects, in case any of them is patrolling somewhere.” You said as the two of you started to walk away. Both stopped for you to close the door, and once it was done you handed him the keys, “here,” you said as you placed them over his hands.

He looked at you puzzled “Why?” 

“You’ll come with the boys more often than me,” you said simply “And you’re way more responsible than any of them, if anyone should have the keys, it should be dear Moony.”

He rolled his eyes with a smile at the way you used his nickname, he found he liked you calling him Moony almost as much as he liked it when you said Rem. But he liked Rem better because that one had been entirely yours.  

The two of you walked towards the make-out room side by side, at some point Remus had placed his hand near the back of your neck and he pretty much guided you through the halls as you stared at the map, making sure you weren’t getting close to Filch or any of the other prefects that had already been tagged by the boys.

“Have you considered doing something to tag absolutely every single person in the castle?” You asked as you walked through a particularly quiet hallway. 

He smiled, great minds think alike, he thought. “We’ve been trying to figure out how to do it for a while.” He told you “We can’t exactly give a charm to every single student.” 

“You need to charm the school instead,” you said as you pulled your head from the map and leaned over to check on the passage you’d go through afterwards “I’m not saying it will be easy but there must be a way to tap into Hogwarts’ magic,” you said then “That or you charm the Hogwarts Express, since everyone goes through the Hogwarts Express at least once.” 

Remus turned to you with his eyes wide open “That’s actually brilliant!” 

You turned to him with a small proud smile “Thank you,” and shot him a small wink. By then, the two of you were already reaching the small statue. “All right, at the count of three, you placed your hand on the frog and rub, deal?” you asked, looking at him with a smile. 

He looked at you incredulously “you want me to rub the frog?“

You nodded “I know, It’s weird, I thought that too, but trust me,” you said with a smile, and how could he not?  He placed his hand on the frog “I’m gonna place my hand on top,” you warned before gently sitting your hand over his, he almost melted right then and there. “Go ahead then–“ 

He rubbed the frog, and it swallowed the two of you this time, you tried to land on your feet like you had done on your way out earlier that day, but you didn’t think how much more complicated it would be to do it with someone else also being inside the passage so instead you tripped over Remus’ long legs and the invisibility cloak. By the time you were falling over the small room, he was the first one on the ground, you fell on top closely behind, gravity and the force of the frog having your lips crashing against the corner of his. 

“Ugh sorry,” you said as you used your good arm to prompt yourself up and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of your sweater, you were certain some of your saliva had ended up rubbing all over the poor boy’s face, even if you couldn’t see shit. Remus was thankful the place was so dark because if you had actually seen how red he’d gotten, you probably would’ve started to realise that something was off. 

“It’s fine,” he said, grabbing your arm gently to stop it from rubbing into his face, he licked his lips, you still tasted exactly like you had at Marlene’s party. He felt bIood start to rush down, and coughed, moving his face to the side “Would you mind getting off, though?” 

“Sorry,” you repeated, lifting yourself and standing all together. You extended your hand for him to grab as soon as you were up. You still barely made the figure of him on the floor, but you were sure he saw a lot better, since only seconds later he grabbed your hand, and started to stand as well. 

“Your shoulder ok?”

You rolled it over “Yeah, fell on my chest,” you said. Yeah, I noticed, he thought, but didn’t say a thing “And you broke most of the fall. Are you okay?” 

He nodded, then remembered you probably couldn’t see it, “Yeah, totally.” 

You pulled your wand from your pocket then using a very controlled version of incendio to turn on the kerosene lantern in the corner, but when you did, several other candles, one by one, started to turn on all over the room, and then out of a small phonograph started playing soft, sexy music. You looked around, taking the whole place in, and when you realised what was going on, you broke into a laugh. 

Remus started laughing right afterwards, the whole situation was so hilarious to you that you straight up bent down, placing a hand on the table to keep yourself standing. You felt Remus place his hand over your upper back as he too tried to hold himself up “Wouldn’t have assumed Richie to be such a romantic,” you said as you tried to regain your breath.

“What?! But he had a whole love triangle going on,” Remus told you, he was also trying to regain his breath “He was a total heartbreaker at his time.”

You gasped “Wait really?” 

“Yeah, heard some other ghosts talking about him.” 

“You really do learn something new every day,” you said, finally standing up straight, and pointing at the old phonograph, it stopped playing instantly. Good riddance, whatever version of spicy 1800s sexy music Richie was into, wasn’t vibing with you.

Remus was relieved that the laughing had made you just as red as him, you were as flushed as each other now, just for different reasons. You took a few more deep breaths and stood in front of the table, casually walking over to him and pulling the book from his bag, still panting a little.  You had done it with such a naturality, such confidence as you invaded his personal space that he almost thought you were Sirius for a second. 

You opened the book on the table and started looking for the potion you’d be brewing, taking out some of the ingredients from your backpack as he busied himself pulling the stuff from his own shoulder bag. Once you had all the stuff you’d brought on the table you walked over to the small potions cupboard Richie had left in the corner of the small room. 

“You think this place is soundproof?” he asked. 

“Well, if it really was Richie’s make-out room, and if he even had a phonograph, I’d say it’d make sense for it to be soundproof,” you said diverted “Why, wanna bring Alice over?” you added with a cheeky smile. 

Who?!, he almost asked, before remembering what an ass he was for even thinking it, “It’s your secret spot, I’d never.” 

“Technically It’s Richie’s,” you said with a shrug. “But I’d let you.” 

“I still wouldn’t want to,” he said then, almost too quickly, “It’s ours,” he mumbled almost to himself, you’d taken him there, he was not going to take any other girl, or boy for that matter. Either way, the only boy he’d want to take there would be Sirius, and you’d probably take him there eventually either way. 

“Oh, he has some good stuff here,” you said as you continued checking, distracting yourself with some of the vials and flasks in the corner of the room “You think these can expire?” 

He turned to you “Uhm… Haven’t they been here since the 1800s…” 

“Mid 1800s,” you corrected “Like… 150 years ago.”

“Right…” Remus said, “I mean I guess the dried stuff wouldn’t actually expire,” he shrugged, “Pass me the small cauldron, would you?” he asked. You grabbed it from the corner, using both hands when you realised it was heavier than you expected “BIoody hell what did they make them with back then?” 

“Cast Iron,” he said as he walked towards you and pulled it from your grasp with one hand, carefully sitting it on top of the table. You narrowed your eyes at him, slightly jealous of his werewolf strength. “You brought the measuring cups, yeah?” 

You nodded and pulled them out of your bag before handing them over to him, and turning back to the section with the vials “We’ve also got this,” you said as you pulled a small weight scale from the cupboard “They’re meant to be more accurate.” 

“They are,” he agreed as he extended his hand to take it from yours. You kept exploring the ingredients on the cupboard as he measured. You found a few interesting things, along with Richie’s very own pot of Spider Venom’s Essence. Except this one had evaporated with time and was a way thicker liquid –like molasses- pooling at the bottom of the vase, while the one you’d gotten from Slughorn’s was syrupy, like a serum. You unclogged the corkscrew at the top and leaned it towards your nose. 

“Wait, hold up!” Remus said, but it had been too late, you had already gotten a whiff, and then you felt it, thousands of tiny feet crawling all over your skin, you shivered, closing your eyes shut as you hoped for the feeling to go away. You knew it was because of what you had done, so you didn’t panic, but your knowledge did not make the experience any less excruciating. You were sure you were flinching every couple of seconds as you felt Remus approach. 

He placed his hand over your good shoulder and you flinched again, “Here, drink this,” he said. You did as told, slowly the crawling started to go away. Remus still had his hand on your shoulder and was looking at you with a concentrated expression “Better?”

You nodded “Almost gone,” you said as you shivered one last time. “I was so not expecting that,” you said “What did I drink?” 

“Water and a bit of Webbane,” he said. “Yook it when you told me to grab the essence, I thought it could be useful…” 

You looked at him bemused “That was a brilliant call,” you said as you rolled your good shoulder to try and get the last bit of the crawling to go away, he finally pulled his hand away, just after he felt the way your muscles shifted underneath his hand.“How did you know?” 

“We were gonna use it once for a different prank, Peter did the exact same thing you just did, and he was whining about the crawling for like 2 hours. We investigated how to contrarrestar it afterwards.” 

You gasped “You’re telling me I would have gone through two hours of that if it hadn’t been for you?!?”

He shrugged, “Probably more, that thing looks really freaking potent.” 

You shivered just at the idea “Thank you, my saviour,” you said, he chuckled at your nickname. 

“You’re welcome,” he said with a little proud smile “Come on, let’s get back to work, we don’t have much time.” 

“We’ve got all night,” you said as you walked next to him and picked one of the ingredients at the bottom of the list to measure from bottom to top while he did the opposite. It’s something you had done many times before in classes. You had developed it to be faster in the measuring process and get on with the potion-making before most of the other teams. Your speed and precision always got you and Remus praises from Slughorn. 

“I’d rather get some sleep, tomorrow we’ll actually stay up all night setting everything up.” 

“I’m sure we won’t take too long,” you said. 

Unfortunately, the potion had a lot of rather precise steps and worse of all, long waiting times in between ingredients. You had laid your head down on the table, toying with a tiny little crystal globe that you had picked from one of the shelves, rolling back and forth, over your fingers and then side to side. Remus, who was actually sitting on a small stool you’d found and decided to take turns to use, leaned over his arms on the table, looking ahead at some of the books, and checking his wristwatch every couple of minutes. 

“How much longer till the Puffskein puff dust?” you asked with a yawn. 

“10 more minutes,” he responded, “then another 15 ‘till we can add the hairs from a nervous niffler,” he said, checking his clock one last time. And then looked at you, you were still rolling the little globe in your hands, carefully brushing your fingers around the small ball, with rather elegant hand movements, he stared straight at your hands. He was thinking of how delicate they looked, small and adorable, especially compared to his own, coated with scars.Remus suddenly felt a little self-conscious and shifted in his seat, pulling his hands under the table, you turned to him at the sudden movement, your eyes focusing on his “Do you want to play with it?” you asked as you picked the globe up and turned it in your hand. 

He shook his head in response “I was just looking at the way you were moving your hands,” he admitted “It was rather effortlessly elegant.” 

You shot your eyebrows up “You think?” you asked “I really liked going to the ballet when I was younger, maybe some of their movements stuck,” you said with a shrug, perhaps that was another reason you had been so drawn to Nighshade at the beginning, she moved like the dancers you so enjoyed looking at. 

He leaned his head on his hand again, turning to look at you instead “Did you ever do ballet?” 

You shook your head “Dad wouldn’t let me, said it was too much of a fairy thing to try out.” 

“And he doesn’t like fairies because…?” 

“My grandma’s half-fairy,” you said casually, “tho my parents have been trying to hide that from everyone since like forever.” 

“So you’re not actually a pure-bIood?” He asked, trying to hide his surprise. 

You shook your head with a tight-lipped smile “Never have been. But since Dad wanted to secure his place in the ministry and all those political things, he decided to keep the fact that he married someone that wasn’t actually pure bIood a secret.” 

“But that– Oh…” he said as if something dawned on him. “That’s why you’re so freaking charming and pretty, you’re part Fairy!” he said, not quite thinking before speaking. You looked at him with a surprised, slightly teasing expression “I didn’t- I mean…” 

You smiled a little wider at his sudden bashfulness and then burst into a laugh, “I too think you’re pretty Remus,” you said in between chuckles. 

He looked at you half surprised, and then shook his head sheepishly “‘m not.” 

“Well, I think you are and you cannot change my mind,” you said with a shrug, “catch this one,” you said as you rolled the crystal globe towards him, he caught it with ease.

She thinks I’m pretty. 

“What does it feel like to be part fairy?” he asked. 

“Normal,” you said with a shrug “What does it feel to be a werewolf?” 

“Take a guess,” he told you with an arched eyebrow and a very sarcastic tone.

“I mean… yeah, full moon’s shit. But in other times,” you said, “I’ve seen you, you have really good senses, you see better in the dark, you’re a lot stronger, you heal faster…” 

“Seems like you’ve been paying waaay too much attention to me,” he teased. 

“You’re my best friend, of course I would,” you said simply. Then the last drop of sand fell on the hourglass and it emitted a soft chiming sound. 

You stood straight and walked towards the small cauldron next to the boy. Placing the Puffskein puff dust on it and carefully mixing the ingredients clockwise, when you were done you flipped the hourglass again and walked back around the chair and the boy, sitting on the table this time, letting your feet dangle like you had done when you talked to Richie. 

“If you want the stool I can–” he said as he shuffled in his seat.

You shook your head “-Nah I’m fine,” you said as you looked at the ceiling and let yourself fall on the table, slowly so you wouldn’t disturb the potion, your skirt rode up a little and Remus forced himself to look at your face, but the way your hair had sprawled all over as you laid in the table wasn’t helping him either. You then dipped your hand in your pockets and took out a bar of chocolate.

“Want some?” you said as you broke the bar in half and extended your hands towards him. 

He smiled “Of course,” he said and grabbed the piece, his hand brushing over yours just slightly. He did it on purpose, he wanted to feel your hands, the way you moved the globe had been tempting enough. “You know I’d never refuse a chocolate.” 

You smiled “Even less if it’s Honyduke’s,” you said with a smile, he just chuckled in response. 

That night Remus and you talked about nothing and everything all at once, he told you about his parents, about his father being against werewolves and how the retaliation of that had ended up in his furry little problem. You told him about your old school, about your family, about the time you met Sirius. Although he had already heard the story, he was interested to hear it from your point of view instead of Sirius’. All the while you’d carefully measure and add the ingredients on the potion. You talked about school and classes and he told you some of the pranks they had done before, all the different ways they’d gotten caught, just for you to be careful tomorrow night. 

“You think we can use this one instead?” you asked as you grabbed the thicker and older version of Spider venom essence.

He had his head turned towards the caldron and looked at you through his lashes, yeah there was no question about it, Remus John Lupin was pretty. “You think it’s a good idea?” 

You shrugged “Could make it a bit more potent?” 

Remus laughed, “If you want to do it, we’ll do it.” 

You shook your head “I don’t want to actually hurt them, though.” 

“SVE is not poisonous, can’t actually hurt anyone unless it’s combined with something else. It will make you feel miserable for a couple of hours depending on the portion thought.” 

“You think it’s a good idea?” 

“This is your revenge plan sweetheart, your call.” You had a brief flashback to Richie calling you that, it didn’t sound the same way as it did from Remus’ lips. In fact, you’d go as far as to say that when Remus said it, it… sounded right. “So…?” 

You looked at the vial in your hands and then turned to him, a mischievous smile dancing on your lips “Let’s do it.” 

It must have been like three a.m. when the potion was finally ready. You had to retrace your steps, going back to Slughorn’s to return all the ingredient bottles and cover your own tracks. Both you and Remus were careful enough to wipe all the bottles clean since you had talked about detective novels and fingerprints earlier that night. Finally, you went back to your rooms, he walked you all the way to your door and gave you one of the potions you’d brewed, the one that you’d have to use the next morning. He kept the ones you’d be using at night. 

“See you tomorrow,” you whispered, leaning onto him so that it would be barely audible and then sneaked inside of your room. 

When the door slowly and silently closed behind you, Remus sighed, letting out a long breath he hadn’t even realised he’d been holding so far. Then he shut his eyes and crouched on the floor, taking deep breaths as he tried to process everything that had gone through his mind that night. He was sure he was going crazy, must have been consumed by greed. How was it possible for him to fall in love with not one but two of his best friends? At once?!?!  

Friday, November 26th, 1976

Later that morning you’d been the first one to wake, and because of the prank, there was no way either of you skipped your morning rides since you all wanted to appear as natural as possible. Regardless of the fact that you had actually gone, James had developed a couple of tactics so that it only looked like you were practising really hard, by screaming and telling you to do laps while the three of you hid behind one of the towers or something. You basically made a huge show of it. And when you went back to the castle you were all laughing. You took the quickest shower of your life and walked straight downstairs. 

This was going to be one of the most crucial parts of the mission, and they had trusted you with it. You took a deep breath and used your wand to rub the pear at the entrance of the kitchens. “Have you seen Nimbletwist?” you asked one of the elves who shook his head in response. You sighed and continued asking around the elves frantically, but neither of them knew where Nimbletwist was. Which was logical since you knew she had been commissioned to the Owlery all week. 

But as you continued walking around the kitchen frantically, you started to lay small portions of the liquid you had hidden in your left sleeve onto every single one of the water, juice and even wine vases available. It was a relaxing potion, similar to the one Remus drank, but with a longer release time, which meant, every single person in the castle would have a very swell and relaxing day. And –and this is where the catch was– they would also sleep like a log. 

The best part is that this particular potion was untraceable since there was no smell nor taste to it, and no one in the castle would be affected by it, at least no more than accidentally falling asleep in a class because they drank too much orange juice in the morning. Once you were sure you’d placed drops of the potion all over the drinks, you hid a smile that was tempting to creep up your face and turned to yet another elf, one that you knew hung out with Nimbletwist often. 

“Haven’t you seen her?” You asked the small elf with an innocent tone.

“Her? You mean Nimbletwist master?” he asked in a squeaky voice. You nodded, and he shook his head in response “Pebblier hasn't been spotting Nimbletwist because she isn't in the kitchens anymore. Nimbletwist has been labouring in another location all week.” 

“She has?” you asked with a bit of a frown and a gasp, selling damn well your false surprise “And here I was making trouble all over the kitchen while looking for her…” you added with a small pout and a slightly dejected look.

“You hasn’t been making any ruckus master,” Pebblier said “We house elves enjoy yer company, in the kitchens. You’s a very kind witch.” 

You swallowed, feeling a little bad for having tricked them all to get the prank going, but it really was a harmless thing, so even if you had tricked them, you were sure they wouldn’t find trouble because of it. So you managed to smile awkwardly, trying to think of ways in which you’d make it up to them. “Thank you Pebblier, you’re very kind yourself.” 

The small house elf smiled and gave you a thumbs up, walking alongside you towards the exit as he told you about the lemon pie recipe he had been working on the past week. He said it’d be available the next day as a special little treat. He also asked where exactly on the table you sat so he could send one up right where you were and you could make sure to size a slice. Nimbletwist had told him how much you liked pie at some point, and he was rather eager to have you try it.

You wondered how it was possible that Hogwarts house-elves were so nice in comparison to the one in your house, or the one in Sirius’, whom he had told you about. 

Once out of the kitchen you walked straight upstairs and sat alongside the girls “No conspiratory plotting in the morning,” you had advised them, which is why James suggested that you sit with the girls instead of them, so even if something went wrong in the end, you had an alibi. And you all had already prepared your alibis for the night too. Remus had told everyone he’d be studying late in the library, and everyone knew when he studied late, he often found a small little nook somewhere where he wouldn’t be bothered by anybody. Sometimes people even thought they saw him in the library even if he hadn’t been there from how often he did it, so it was perfect. 

You and Sirius had planned a “date”, you’d told everyone you’d be walking together by the lake that evening, and you’d even convinced Tom, who you knew was going to be practising apparitions on the grounds, to tell people he had seen you there. Tom, being Tom, had just given you a cheeky smile, a suggestive look and said “I’ve got you covered,” with a rather exaggerated wink. 

James and Peter would hang out in the Gryffindor common room for a while and then head up to their room with the excuse that James wanted to be well-rested since he had to start preparing his mind and body for the game against Gryffindor that Sunday. They’d planned to make a very loud exit and make sure that at least ten people saw them leave. Once they were in their room, they would use Sirius’ record player to play some snoring and their own voices filmed in between. That way if anyone passed by when it was still early, it would sound like they really were in the room, even if by then, they would have already put on the cloak and left. 

Once in your place at the table, you turned in the direction of the boys, looking at each of them straight in the eye and raising your goblet filled with water. Sirius smiled, you winked at him. And after smiling back at the girls, you placed the goblet back onto the table, without drinking a drop. That was the signal the boys were waiting for, they too gave a small toast in between themselves,  empty goblets in hand clashing against each other. 

Later that night on divination you were sitting next to James when you realised one of the Ravenclaw girls, who normally paid attention, was falling asleep as the Professor went on and on about the qualities of reading divination balls. Others were so dazed as they stared at their crystal balls, that they might as well have been asleep altogether. 

You snickered as you pointed at Quentin Finchley, a Ravenclaw boy who was practically snoring in the back. 

James rolled his eyes and whispered, “Look at what you did Vixen, you’ve plummeted the GPA of the Ravenclaws for your little vendetta.” 

“Shut it Prongs, it’s not as if this part of the plan hadn’t been your idea.” 

He just shrugged “Might have been. But remind me again who went around the kitchen tricking all the poor elves?” 

You elbowed him playfully on the side, ready to continue your little quarrell when you noticed Spellman turning to you with a heavy stare. You gulped and stood straighter, prompting James to look at the crystal ball, as if that had been the thing you had been talking about from the very beginning. 

After divination, you had Magical Theory, where you both worked on your glasses until they were ready. You still had to work on the presentation and on the written section of the design, but the teacher had been so impressed with how fast you’d managed to make your item work that he prompted you to also work on another of your ideas.  He said he’d give you an extra mark on your grades for the second part of the school year if you did. 

All thought both you and James had whined about it when he was gone –since you’d had much more work to do– you were pretty excited about the fact that you’d get to work on one of the other ideas, especially some of those long-distance communication items inspired by muggle technology, you thought they could be extra useful for the break, to keep in contact with each other. 

After class was over, the plan finally went into motion. You had decided you’d all meet inside some of the passageways. That way you could each use your own little entrance and reduce the risk of being found out. After dinner, you went straight to the entrance that Remus had shown you on your first day since it was the closest to the Dining Hall and the path you knew best. 

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A/N: Happy New Year!!! Some of you must already be in 2024, some of us are still in 2023, so this is definitely an interesting time to post. And while some of you might be enjoying dinner with family or partying out with friends, I decided to give a little something to those who are home alone and in need of some friends. I love you guys, you have made my 2023 so much better just by commenting and existing and being there, may 2024 bring you all the joy and love in the world. Lilly xxx

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Tongue Tied

A Rafe Cameron Oneshot

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 6.4k

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Summary: Reader has been under Rafe Cameron's wing ever since her older brother passed away, & it was Rafe's honor to take over the brotherly role towards her when his best friend died. But reader isn't a little girl anymore & Rafe's overprotectiveness may just be the very thing that drives her away from him...

unless Rafe has anything to say about it.

            The North Carolina summer sun beat down on your skin, but only comfortably so, as you lounged out on the bow of the yacht. It was a yacht party you were attending with some of your closest friends. The yacht was big enough to carry all 30 or so people on board as it remained anchored off the coast of Kildare. You had been out there for a couple hours now, but it was only six p.m. The party was guaranteed to go until at least until eight p.m. For now, you were happy to take a brief break from the drinking & dancing to relax separately from everyone else.

            You were beginning to doze off, the few White Claws you had were starting to make you drowsy. A quick little nap wouldn’t hurt, & would certainly guarantee your ability to continue partying with the rest of them. But as you felt yourself begin to really fall asleep, a shadow was cast over you, blocking out the heat of the sun. You blearily opened your eyes, expecting to see a sudden gathering of clouds above you, but it was none other than your closest friend.

            “Rafe.” You reprimanded but smiled softly up at him, “Can’t you see I’m napping?”

            “Uh, yeah.” He stared down at you incredulously, “When there’s a party happening? Are you crazy?”

            You sighed heavily, shaking your head, “If I don’t get a quick micro nap in I won’t be able to party much longer, period.”

            “C’mon, _____, that’s weak sauce.”

            You giggled, “Weak sauce, Rafe?”

            “You know what I mean.” He rolled his eyes, slapping you gently on the arm with the back of his hand, “Now, c’mon, let’s go, I need a partner for beer pong.”

            “Ugh, can’t you just have Ashley in my place, pleeeease?” You puckered your lower lip. But Rafe waved the suggestion away, “Yeah, no. Ashley can’t shoot for shit. I need my girl.”

            “Fine.” You gave up, “Five minutes then I’ll be there.”

            “Nope.” Rafe gathered your hands in his, “You’ll be there now.”

            “Rafe!” You half laughed half screamed as he lifted you from the lounger you were on & threw you over his shoulder.

            “I got a grand riding on this game, _____, I need your unbeatable hand to eye coordination.”

            “Why must you always bet when there’s a game involved?” You scolded, your ribs digging uncomfortably into his shoulder as he carried you shamelessly through a throng of people. You were grateful to be wearing the swimsuit you chose as it didn’t expose you too much as he paraded you around, your rear on fully display, save for the sarong wrap around your hips.

            “Because I like winning.” Rafe swung you forward, carefully putting you back on your feet. He patted your head, grinning, “And I’m a winner.”

            You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

            Rafe then led you to the upper deck of the yacht where there was just enough space for a beer pong table. There were a few faces you recognized, having grown up with some of them on the island, but most of the face were unfamiliar to you. The two guys you & Rafe were playing against were people you had never seen before.

            “This is your secret weapon?” One of the guys asked unimpressively as he eyed you beside Rafe.

            “Hey, man.” His partner elbowed him as he met your eyes, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

            “You’ll be eating your words by the end of the game.” Rafe responded to the one who had low-key insulted you, “Show em, babe.”

            You loathed when Rafe called you ‘babe’. It made people think you were together when it couldn’t be further from the truth. Rafe was like an older brother to you. He had been best friends with your older brother, Dom, in high school thus he was always around. And because you & your brother were so close you in turn became close to Rafe. But that friendly familial relationship the two of you shared strengthened in the last couple years. Ever since Dom passed away. You remembered Rafe promising you at Dom’s funeral that he knew he could never replace Dom in your heart, but he would always look out for you & be there for you the way Dom was. You adored Rafe, loved him unconditionally, & he never broke his promise. He was your home. Your family.

            So, when he called you ‘babe’ or ‘baby’, especially in front of others, it always made you feel uncomfortable. You knew he didn’t mean anything by it, just a term of endearment, but he had never called you that stuff when Dom was alive. You reasoned with yourself that it was likely because you were older now. There was a four year difference between you & Rafe, so now that you were 20, perhaps he felt it a natural shift to calling you pet names as such. You asked him once to not do that, & for a while he did, but it eventually came back & you just didn’t have the energy to have the same conversation. Just as long as Rafe knew that you thought it was weird & would never return the terms, you were mostly okay with it.

            “Babe?” The one who defended your honor questioned, “You two together?”

            “No.” You replied firmly, eyeing Rafe knowingly. He shrugged, completely unbothered.

            “Huh.” The guy nodded but let it go, “Alright. Let’s see who wins two grand.”

            There was too many people watching you now. The game had gotten intense, & fast. Your two opponents, who learned their names were Kabir & Danny—Danny being the one who defended you to his partner—were tit for tat with yours & Rafe’s skills. Rafe missed a shot, Kabir missed a shot. You made a shot, Danny followed suit. It was always at a tie, but now it was down to a tie with a single cup left on either end of the table. More so, it was your shot. You made this & you won. And Rafe got his two grand, the idiot.

            But with it being the winning shot, & with people having gathered around to watch in anticipation, you felt yourself begin to doubt your ability. Most the cups cleared on the opposite end was your doing, but now you felt the pressure. You didn’t make this shot & Rafe was out a thousand dollars. In the grand scheme of his wealth, 1000 dollars was nothing, but as Rafe had said, he was a winner. And a very sore loser.

            “You got this, babe. You always got it.” He stood behind you, his breath brushing against your cheek as he leaned down to speak to you.

            “I know.” You replied, holding the white plastic ball eye level as you aimed it for the single cup.

            Rafe backed up, pacing behind you. His antsy energy wasn’t going you any favors. You softly inhaled, willing your muscles to relax. It’s just like any other game, you reminded yourself. Aim, shoot, win.

            But just as you exhaled, flinching to make your shot, Danny raised his arms on the opposite end, “Pause.”

            “What?” You faltered, bringing your arm down.

            “New conditions.” He smiled, & damn did he have a good looking smile.

            “No, no way.” Rafe stepped forward, gesturing the cup, “We’re right here, you can’t change the conditions.”

            Danny ignored Rafe, looking solely at you, “I’ll give you the two grand but in return I get to take you on a date.”

            The sudden & unexpected proposal made your heart flutter. You felt yourself pressing your lips together awkwardly.

            You laughed half-heartedly, waiting for him to say ‘sike!’. A way to trick you out of making your shot. But Danny only nodded towards you, “Whaddya say?”

            “She says ‘no.” Rafe answered for you, his tone impatient, “Make the shot, _____. End it.”

            You frowned at his pushing. It was just a game. Danny said he’d give him two grand. Besides, Danny was cute. You weren’t the dating type, always too busy with college, but why wouldn’t now be a good time as any to start?

            “Well, hold on.” You looked at Rafe, to which he made a ‘what the fuck’ face at you. You turned back to Danny, “What if I don’t make the shot?”

            Danny cocked his head, “I’ll give your friend there his hundred grand back, but I still get to take you on a date.”

            You couldn’t hide the smile that appeared on your face. He was being direct, flirtatious, & it was working. You were intrigued.

            “Okay.” You rounded to approach Danny’s end of the table, “Shake on it?”

            Danny moved towards you, his hand outstretched. But before your hands could touch, sealing the deal, the resounding thwack of a ping pong ball hitting the lip of a cup met your ears. Your eyes flashed to the table just in time to see the ping pong ball bounce atop the table before falling off the edge. You spun around, your eyes meeting Rafe’s.

            “We lost. Too bad.” Rafe shrugged.

            Kabir howled with excitement, slapping Danny on the back with a winning spirit, “Two grand man!”

            But Danny didn’t share in his enthusiasm. Danny glared past you towards Rafe. A glare you greatly partook in.

            “What the hell, Rafe?” You questioned. Rafe approached you then, throwing his arm over your shoulder, “What? You can’t change the rules right before the game ends.”

            “You were about to get two grand!” You argued, “Now, you have none.”

            “I’ll live.” He returned, his voice hardening. Then he raised his eyes to Danny who stood behind you, “Good game.”

            With that, Rafe tugged you along behind him as he led you through the upper deck of the yacht. You tossed Danny an apologetic smile to which he returned.

            Once Rafe got you to the lower deck, you tore your arm away from him, glaring at him with the anger of a thousand suns, “What is your problem?”

            Rafe creased his brows, “What are you talking about?”

            “Don’t give me that. You know exactly what I’m talking about. I could have made that shot.”

            “Yeah, well, you were flirting with the enemy.” Rafe replied, looking away.

            “So? If you had let me take the deal you would still have your hundred grand at least.”

            “Not worth it.” He shrugged, eyeing you indifferently.

            You narrowed your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest, “Not worth it?” You repeated, “You can’t do this stuff, Rafe.”

            “Again, don’t know what you’re talking about.”

            You rolled your eyes, shaking your head, “Look, I know you’re just looking out for me, but I’m a grown up now, okay? I can go on dates whenever & with whoever I feel like.”

            Rafe shook his head, still acting as if what you were saying was in another language. But you knew exactly why he threw the game & willingly gave up his money. It wasn’t the first time Rafe had intercepted a potential suitor in your life. You often felt Rafe took his role to look out for you too seriously. The last couple years it really hadn’t bothered you, especially when it came to guys showing interest in you. You weren’t one of those girls that felt it necessary to date just to date. You always prided yourself on your focus in your education, & you knew well enough that juggling a boyfriend or fling with the hours you spent studying wasn’t ideal. But that was before.

            Lately, you had admitted to yourself that something was missing from your life. If you weren’t in class, studying late in bed, or stressing about exams, you were hanging out with Rafe at one of the many parties he took you to, or with Ashley, who often brought along whatever guy she was dating that month. You thought it was time to begin putting yourself out there. And now that it was summer & the school year finished a couple weeks ago, it was the perfect time. But you wouldn’t be successful in your dating endeavors if Rafe kept going the way he was.

            “Rafe.” You raised your brows knowingly at him, “C’mon, I’m not a kid anymore.”

            “I know that.” He replied sternly, “You can date whoever you want.”

            Knowing it was only bullshit leaving his mouth, you decided to put it to the test, “Great. Then I’m going back up there & telling Danny that the date can still happen.”

            Rafe broke then, rolling his eyes, “That guy is a loser.”

            “Not from my point of view. After all, he did just win that game.” You knew you were treading dangerous waters at that point. Hitting Rafe right in his ego.

            “Oh, nice.” Rafe shook his head.

            “Look,” you started, stepping closer to him. Rafe straightened then, his eyes peering down at you as you nearly closed the gap between the two of you. You touched his wrists with your hands, “I appreciate you looking out for me like I’m your little sister. But I can look out for myself, okay? At least in this regard.”

            “_____...” Rafe sighed, his ocean colored eyes staring into your own, “Don’t. You don’t know anything about him.”

            You nodded in agreement, “That’s what dates are all about. To get to know someone.”

            Rafe moved out from in front of you, his wrists slipping away from your touch. You hung your head. Sometimes it really felt like you were taking care of Rafe, not the other way around.

            “Just don’t go back up there, okay?” Rafe stared at you, “Promise me?”

            You wanted to argue more, ask him why he was so against it, but you were too tired to do so. Exhausted, you ultimately nodded, “Fine. Whatever.”

            Rafe smiled, it was small, but it was the smile of a winner.

            “Alright. I’m gonna go get us some drinks & we’ll go down to the water, yeah?”

            You nodded, but you weren’t as happy as he was quickly becoming.

            “Try finding Ashley, I’m sure she’s sucking face with someone around here.”

            You brought your finger to your forehead before waving it away in acknowledgment.

            Rafe disappeared then. You stood there for a moment longer, stewing in your anger towards him. You knew your anger wouldn’t last long, it never did. Rafe was just taking his role too seriously. He’d get out of it one day.

            Footfalls sounded above you, & you turned around in time to see a familiar face appear at the bottom of the stairs.

            “Thought he’d never leave.” Danny teased, his charming smile appearing.

            “Oh.” You couldn’t suppress your own smile, “Hey. You heard all that?”

            Danny cleared his throat awkwardly, nodding, “Yeah, he, uh, he’s really protective over you.”

            “Yeah.” You rolled your eyes but nodded, “Just like a brother.”

            “But he’s not.” Danny confirmed without question. Again, you nodded.

            “Huh. Weird.” Danny commented, to which you frowned. But Danny didn’t your relationship with Rafe, the history of it.

            “Anyway,” Danny moved forward in conversation, “’bout that date…”

            You sighed, wanting to say yes right then & there. But you shrugged, “I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”

            “Why?” Danny questioned but the smile never left his face, “Because… your not-brother or whatever-he-is says so?”

            “No.” You replied fast. Too fast. “Yes. No. Kind of, it’s hard to explain.”

            “Well, you could explain it tomorrow night. Sunset Grille?”

            Breath left your lungs at the proposal yet again, just as it had the first time he asked. Your cheeks hurt from how hard you were smiling. You enjoyed his determination. Made you feel good.

            “You technically wouldn’t be breaking your promise.” He added.

            You narrowed your eyes playfully, “How’s that?”

            “You only promised you wouldn’t come back upstairs, not that you wouldn’t go on the date.”

            A light laugh sounded from you as you shook your finger at him, “You’re sneaky.”

            “I just go after what I want.” He smirked, holding your eyes with his own.

            Worried that Rafe would return any moment, you finally made up your mind. You were 20 years old! And you’ve never been on a date. Rafe didn’t control your choices, you did. So, you nodded, pulling out your phone, “Let me give you my number.”

            You avoided Rafe like the plague for the next 24 hours. You had never been a good liar, finding the ability to be a good liar a pretty crappy trait to even have, but regardless, you couldn’t lie if your life depended on it. It was easier to do over text, which you took great advantage of when Rafe texted you the next evening, seeing if you wanted to come over & he’d grill up some steaks. You thanked him but told him you made plans to have a girls’ night with Ashley, & no, he wasn’t allowed to come this time.

            Girls’ nights with Ashley was common, & half the time Rafe would join in on them. They varied in what you two did. Some nights you’d stay in & watch reruns of reality television while doing facials, other nights you’d use your fakes to go to the bars on the beach—those were the nights that Rafe insisted on coming. Protective & whatnot. But for tonight, you told him it was going to be a night in. The new season of your current favorite show was airing. That was your lie. And as long as Rafe didn’t question it too hard, you’d be fine.

            Fortunately, Rafe sent you a thumbs up emoji & told you two to have fun. You were relieved. It meant you could get ready for your date in piece. After finishing with your hair & make-up, both of which were skills you knew little about, you fingered through your closet, ultimately deciding on an old dress you wore for your graduation party in high school. As you slipped into the dress, you clocked the time. It was nearly 7. Danny would be here any moment.

            Finishing the final touches of your look & adding a spritz of your favorite perfume, you were ready to go. Just as you were gathering your phone & purse, your phone pinged. It was Danny. He was in the parking lot.

            You frowned at that. Didn’t most guys meet their date at the door? But you brushed the thought away. This wasn’t the movies. He was already driving you to the date & paying for the meal, having told you to leave your wallet at home, he didn’t need to meet you at your door. Turning off the lights in your apartment, you grabbed your keys & left. The second you stepped out, the warm ocean breeze brushed over your skin. You inhaled deeply, savoring the smell of living on the coast.

            You descended the single flight of stairs to the ground floor & approached the parking lot. Parked in a handicap spot was a sleek dark gray Mercedes. For the second time in less than two minutes, you frowned. Danny was not disabled. Perhaps Rafe was right…you thought to yourself but immediately shook the thought away. Okay, so what? He was only there for less than five minutes. It’d be fine.

            Danny waved at you through the windshield. You gave a small one before opening the passenger side door.

            “Hey, gorgeous.” Danny greeted as you slid into the car. You placed your purse in your lap & smiled at him, “Hey…you.”

            Danny laughed at that, “Sorry I didn’t come up. Kadir called me, he’s at the casino.”

            “Oh.” You nodded in understanding, “I get it. Is he losing money?”

            “Oh yeah.” Danny chuckled. You laughed with him.

            “Hey.” He said again, & you looked at him, your smile falling.

            “What?”

            “You look beautiful.”

            “Oh.” You shrugged but you felt incredibly hot all of a sudden, “Thank you.”

            “’Course.”

            Danny pulled out of the parking spot then & before you knew it, you were well on your way to your very first date.

            The drive back to your apartment was dreadful, to say the least. As charming as Danny had been in the beginning, the novelty of it all quickly evaporated. At the restaurant, he ordered one too many beers, his voice growing louder as the date went on, & boy, did he know how to talk. As far as you knew, the only topics of conversation Danny could carry was about Danny, Danny, &, oh, Danny. Your first date ever would forever be remembered as a painfully dull one.

            Fortunately, the restaurant was only a few blocks from your apartment, so the drive would be quick & before you knew it you would be back in the safety of your apartment. Awaaaay from Danny. And you couldn’t wait.

            It was a sight for sore eyes when Danny pulled into the parking lot of you complex, pulling yet again into the same handicapped spot from earlier. You contemplated saying something but bit your tongue. Just get out of the car & get inside.

            “Well, thanks for the date.” You said politely but didn’t look him in the eye. If he asked if you had fun or wanted to go on a second one, your eyes would betray your true thoughts.

            “Let me walk you up.”

            “No.” You responded quickly. Again, too quickly. “I mean, it’s okay. It’s late. I’m tired. So, thank you.”

            “It’s okay, really.” Danny replied, switching the ignition off. The action made you roll your eyes away from him. “I didn’t pick you up from your door so the least I can do is drop you off.”

            God, you wanted to say no. You wanted to say please god noooo so badly. But you forced a grin, “Okay.”

            Danny quickly got out of his side of the car & rounded to your side to hold the door open as you got out. You avoided his eyes as he followed alongside you to the stairs leading up to the second floor.

            “I had a good time tonight.” He started. You felt one of his hands ghost over your lower back. You grumbled internally.

            “That’s good, Danny.” You replied.

            “Did you, too?” It was the question you dreaded most.

            You distracted yourself from the question as you searched out your keys in your purse. Fuck, you should have had them ready before you got out of the car.

            “Mhmm.” You hummed in response, flicking your eyes towards his quickly. “Well, thank you again, Danny. Drive home safely, okay?”

            “Well, hey, wait, hold on.” He chuckled lightly, but you weren’t smiling, let alone enjoying yourself, when you felt his hand on yours. “A kiss goodnight?”

            “Oh, uh, yeah, I don’t, uh, I don’t…do…that.” It was true.

            “Don’t kiss on the first date?” He questioned.

            What you really wanted to respond with was that you don’t date, specifically, but that would only likely keep him standing there longer with more questions.

            “Yup.” You chuckled awkwardly but there was no amusement behind it, “No kissing. So, thanks.”

            You yet again attempted to bring your hand with your keys in it to the door but before you could, you felt your body being spun around & pressed against the wall next to your door. Danny blocked you in with both his arms, that same charming smile that had wooed you in the beginning appearing, although now it only looked disarming.

            “There’s a first for everything.” He whispered, then began to lean in.

            “No, Danny.” You replied but he caught your face with his other hand, holding you still as his face grew closer.

            “Just hold still.” He reprimanded you.

            “No, I said no!” You raised your voice. You were bringing your hands up to his face, preparing to shove him off when suddenly the shadow Danny cast over your frame disappeared. A grunt sounded before you & you peeled your eyes open, not having realized you closed them. You didn’t know what you expected to see, but Rafe holding Danny against the opposite wall by his throat was not on your list.

            “Rafe?” You asked shockingly.

            “She fuckin’ said no, asshole.” Rafe gritted out, shoving Danny harder into the wall.

            Your eyes flicked to your apartment, noting that the door was open but the lights off inside. Was Rafe…? He had to be.

            Though you had just been low-key assaulted, you felt more anger boiling within you. Looking back at the two men, you saw how Danny’s face was beginning to turn purple with how harshly Rafe was choking him.

            “Rafe!” You yelled, approaching him & yanking on his arm, “That’s enough!”

            Rafe glared at you over his shoulder, “He put his fuckin’ hands on you. I should kill him.”

            Danny tried wrestling against Rafe but to no luck as he grew weaker by the second. You stepped back & then done something you had never done before. You struck Rafe. It wasn’t hard, & likely didn’t even hurt him, but enough to get his attention. After smacking him on the back of his head, Rafe snapped his head in your direction.

            “Let him go. Now!” You demanded. Rafe carried a snarl on his face, turning to glare at Danny once more.

            “If I ever see you around here again, anywhere near her, I’ll fucking kill you. That’s a promise.” Then Rafe let him go, but not before shoving him down the stairs. You instinctively reached out to catch him in case he stumbled down them but Rafe was quick to move between you & Danny. Besides, Danny had it handled. He stumbled, sure, but the handrailing helped him.

            “Fuck you, man.” Danny spit, his voice hoarse from Rafe’s assault, “You want her so fucking bad, she’s all yours.”

            Rafe’s hands were in fists at his sides as he watched Danny tripped over to his car.

            “And you’re not handicapped!” You hollered, “Asshole!”

            The last bit was just for good measure.

            Danny flipped you two the bird before climbing into his car. The engine roared to life & then he raced out of the parking lot, rubber marks left at the exit.

            You finally released a breath of air you hadn’t realized you had been holding. It felt good calling Danny that. You smirked pridefully to yourself, but it was short-lived when you felt another’s eyes on you.

            Glancing up, you saw Rafe glaring angrily down at you.

            “Don’t.” Your smile dropped, your anger returning at the reminder of Rafe having been in your apartment.

            You stomped away from Rafe, marching into your apartment. You didn’t bother slamming the door knowing Rafe was right behind you. So, he slammed it.

            “What the fuck were you doing with him?” Rafe asked, his voice shaking with rage as he pointed towards the outside.

            “No!” You raised your voice, slamming your purse down on your kitchen counter. You raised your finger at Rafe & stomped right back to him, “You don’t get to lecture! The only person who gets to be asking questions right now is me!”

            “Fuck that.” Rafe retorted shortly, “You lied to me.”

            “You broke into my fucking apartment!” You screeched, having reached your boiling point. You normally weren’t one to cuss, just never having gotten into the habit, but two entitled assholes in one night was enough to make a priest says the lord’s name in vein.

            “I didn’t break in!” Rafe yelled back, “I have a fucking key, _____.”

            “For emergencies only!” You shoved him away from you, marching back to your kitchen. You needed to calm down. A shot of literally anything would help. But Rafe was hot on your heels as he trailed after you into the kitchen.

            “Oh, & almost getting date raped isn’t an emergency, is that it?” Rafe questioned mockingly.

            You kept your back to him, your hands shaking as you pulled down the closest bottle of liquor you could find. It happened to be Jack Daniel’s. You didn’t even bother searching for a shot glass, you simply uncapped the top & took a swig straight from the teet.

            “Please.” You finally bit back, wiping the access whiskey from your lips, “I was fine.”

            “Bullshit!” Rafe forced you to look at him, his eyes glaring wide-eyed & angry into your won, “As far as you know he could be having you on your back on the living room floor right now.”

            You made a sound of disgust, “Don’t be fucking crude, Rafe.”

            “I save you from that pushy asshole & I’m crude?” Rafe laughed sheepishly but there was no amusement behind it, “God, you fucking women. Don’t know how to say thank you.”

            That’s it, you had it. You moved forward, shoving him against the fridge, snapping.

            “Fine! Thank you, Rafe! Thank you for breaking into my apartment & saving me from rape! Thank you for being a goddamn helicopter parent! THANK YOU for always, always, always looking out for me! It’s not like it’s suffocating or anything!”

            Rafe watched as you came undone, your face contorted to one of fury as you kept yelling at him.

            “You say you’re looking out for me because I’m like a little sister to you but that’s…bullshit.” You finally said, breathing heavily.

            His eyes danced around the features of your face as you finally felt yourself calming down. Your also felt like you were going to be sick. That swig of Jack threatening to come back up now that your adrenaline was dying down.

            “What does that mean?” Rafe finally asked, his voice low, soft. Eerily soft.

            You lowered your eyes, backing away to rest against the counter opposite him.

            “I’m not your little sister, Rafe.” You shook your head, responding calmly, “I know you think I’m your responsibility but I’m not. Maybe for a little while I was but not really. I will be forever appreciative & grateful for how much you love me & want to look out for me but you have to stop suffocating me.”

            Rafe said nothing as you continued. His eyes never leaving your face.

            “I’m a grown woman, Rafe. I can’t depend on you. You can’t depend on me! And don’t deny it, because you do. We’re too…co-dependent. It’s not healthy. Not normal. I love you, I do, you’re my home…but I don’t need you. Not anymore.”

            You sniffled, tears threatening to fall but you pushed them back.

            “I’m sorry…” You stepped forward, wanting to comfort him after saying what you just did but as you did, you finally clocked the expression on Rafe’s face. You stopped moving towards him. His eyes were glazed over, red & watering, as if he too was trying not to cry. But his teeth were pressed against his lower lip in anger. His mouth was shifting every which way as he absorbed everything you had just said.

            It was rare, seeing Rafe like this, you had only seen it one another time. At Dom’s funeral. His heart was breaking, he was angry, wanting to understand, to change things. It was that same expression on his face & look in his eyes.

            “Rafe…” You said his name softly. But at the sound of his name, Rafe’s eyes snapped to yours. And what you saw there made your heart stop.

            Before you could utter another word, Rafe snatched your throat in his hand, practically lifting your feet off the floor as he dragged you down the hallway to your bedroom.

            “Rafe—” Your voice strained against his hold on you, so you beat against his arm, but he looked like a madman on a mission.

            Inside your bedroom, Rafe threw you down on your bed. Air filled in your lungs, & you desperately breathed in all the oxygen you could. But your opportunity was short-lived as you watched in horror as Rafe tore off his shirt before snatching the ankle closest to him & dragging you towards the edge of the bed. Towards him.

            “What are you doing?” You gasped, fear wrapping around you like a snake around it’s prey.

            “You say you don’t need me.” Rafe mumbled, grabbing you by the underside of your chin, “I’m going to show just how badly you actually do.”

            A yelp escaped you when Rafe reached for the top of your dress & in one go, ripped it right down the middle. In less than a second, a dress from a very happy memory was destroyed just before you. The fabric hung loosely & pitifully from your exposed upper half, your breasts on full display. But the shock & suddenness of it all froze you. Rafe then shoved you backwards until your back slammed against your mattress.

            Words failed you as Rafe dropped his pants to the ground before using one hand to slither under the skirt of your dress, yanking on your underwear until they dangled from one ankle.

            This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t happening. You fluttered your eyes closed. It was just a nightmare. A terrible, terrible nightmare. Rafe wouldn’t do this to you, couldn’t. He loved you. He would never hurt you. He promised.

            But then there was another body on top of you & your eyes flashed open. It was Rafe above you. It was Rafe muttering angrily to himself as he situated himself between your legs. It was Rafe who was date raping you.

            You felt a hardness against your center & it snapped you back into your body.

            “Rafe!” You pleaded, your body shaking uncontrollably beneath him, “Please, don’t.”

            Rafe paused to glance down at you. And you saw it there, in his eyes. His inner conflict. He didn’t want to do this, but he was. Rafe looked away then, unable to look you in the eyes as he adjusted his hips directly against yours. When you felt the head of his cock at your entrance, you cried out.

            “Please, Rafe, no.” You shook your head vigorously. You managed to get one of your hands out from under his weight & desperately grabbed for his face, forcing him to look at you. When his reddened & tearful eyes met your own, you shook your head more, “I haven’t... before.”

            It was no secret that you had never had sex before but it wasn’t something you talked openly about. But Rafe knew as such. He knew. So, he wouldn’t hurt you like that… he wouldn’t.

            But as Rafe only continued looking at you with a mix of anger & sadness, you watched helplessly as his eyes ultimately shifted to the latter.

            “I know.” Rafe replied, his voice emotionless, mirroring the lack of expression on his face. Tears cast over your eyes.

            “I’m sorry.” Rafe said with finality. Then he moved his hips forward.

            You whined into his shoulder, your arms hanging onto him for dear life as he forced himself inside of you. He was slow, but it didn’t matter. The pain was too great & you didn’t want this.

            Rafe shuddered above you once he was fully sheathed inside you.

            The two of you released a tense breath of air at the same time. You stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, your inside feeling cramped & stretched all at the same time. Rafe was hung his head next to yours as he caught his breath. You took that brief moment to lick your lips. You had been biting them so hard the skin was beginning to peel. Tears continued to slip down your cheeks, collecting in the curves of your ears.

            Then, Rafe began to move. The movement burn & stung. You stifled your pained moans, hardening yourself to what was happening. You couldn’t be here, not with him, not now, not with what he decided to follow through with. Because if you did…you’d hate him. And you loved Rafe.

            The body above you continued to move, assaulting your body to it’s pleasure. But as it did, your mind wandered.

            Your vision blurred & you were brought back just 24 hours prior.

            The ocean was so bright, so blue. Abundance of laughter could be heard in the distance. The sun was warming your skin & the ocean water kept you cool beneath the surface. You were floating on your back, a smile on your face. There was another person floating on their back beside you. Though your eyes were closed, you reached for their hand in the water. And when you found theirs you realized their hand was already searching for yours too. It was his hand. Your protectors. The one who promised to look out for you.

            Was this your fault? Did you let him coddle you for too long? Get too comfortable in it? Or did you give him a false sense of something else along the way? Did he love you differently? Was he punishing you because you weren’t ready for him? The questions were endless. And none of the potential answers brought you any peace. This was your nightmare, & it was very, very real.

            A sudden influx of movement broke your reverie, & you were transported back to your bedroom. Rafe had stilled above you. He was breathing heavily. You felt your muscles relax. It was finally over. But as you lied there beneath him, with him still inside you, you were startled when you heard soft sobbing.

            Turning your head slightly, you looked to see in your limited vision, at your awkward angle, as Rafe’s body shook above yours. But it wasn’t the aftereffects of coming, or at least you didn’t think so. But when a choked sob erupted from him, you realized he was crying.

            Rafe Cameron, your closest, oldest, safest friend was crying. After raping you, he was sobbing.

            “I’m sorry, _____.” Rafe wrapped his arms around your back as he cried into your neck.

            “But you were wrong. I don’t see you as my little sister.” What he was saying made your heart sink into your stomach.

            He leaned up then to look at you. His eyes were bloodshot, so far gone. You could only stare expressionlessly back.

            “I never did.” There it was. All along. The truth.

            “But you do need me. And I need you.” Rafe stated, “So this doesn’t happen again. So no one hurts you again.”

            It was laughable but you didn’t laugh. Didn’t even manage a light chuck.

            “So I don’t hurt you again.”

            Rafe cupped your face, angling you to look at him. His tears had stopped but his face was still strained from the flood of emotions, “Promise me, _____.”

            But you couldn’t. There was nothing you could say. Rafe sniffled, hugging you closer to his body.

            “I’ll never hurt you again. I promise.” Rafe whispered but it sounded far away.

            You only stared upwards, your tongue completely tied.

this is 2/10 requests from my 500 followers celebration request opening!

it became a lot heavier than i anticipated but i'm still happy w it. i hope anon is as well (anon, pls let me know since i'm unable to message you) lol.

as always, please share your thoughts w me via comments, reblogging w reviews, or dropping an ask. teehee.

thank you for reading!

oona<3

Read this post on why doing more than liking a tumblr writers work is essential to our content creation.

[my love language is words of affirmation, it would make my day if you could comment your thoughts, reblog with tags, or drop an ask that shows your support. thank you for reading tumblr writers, we appreciate you]

taglist: @jsrafesgirl @bunnycvnts @ditzyzombiesblog

to be added to a taglist read rule 11 here. requests will be dismissed otherwise.

[hoes4lino]

A Love Letter I wish It Didn’t Exist 💌

A/N: I been doubting to post this, since this story is an adaptation on a real letter I made about my first love. Hope you guys enjoy! (This is also written in first person)

Genre: Romantic, First love, Angst, Suggestive

Word count: 5k

Reading Time: Approx 18 min

Pairing: Reader x Minho

Warnings: Mentions of substance, Reader can’t express emotions, some suggestive content nothing too explicit, happy ending? is as happy as real life can get.

Do you ever wish to fall in love? Hold someone’s hand in the cold breeze of autumn as the leaves fall. Be someone’s lover as the flowers bloom in spring. Be someone’s warmth during the freezing temperatures of winter? Be someone’s shadow on the strong sun rays of summer?

Yeah, well this doesn’t work for me.

Why you may ask, Ever since I was a child I was spoiled with love from my family and friends, growing up I wondered what I did in my past life to deserve such love.

As I went through my teens I started to despise such attention, why? I wish I knew. Growing up I didn’t have any crushes at all, just people I admired. I would often hear my friends babble about boys, fantasies I wished I never heard, and rant about their love life.

Though I never understood why, why couldn’t I be like them? Feel such a desire to love someone and have that feeling reciprocated.

Faking crushes became part of my life during middle school and high school, I felt like an outcast whenever my friends spoke about love, they were all experienced, yet I barely knew how to love myself.

I started dating a boy, not because I was in love but because I felt I had to, everyone I knew was experienced, yet I kept turning down boys.

I craved to get that tingly feeling my friends always talked about. I wanted to know what was the big deal about, and why people found it so addictive.

What is wrong with me?

This is the phrase that would haunt my mind every time I stared at couples walking on the cold breeze of autumn. ———

My high school years felt like something experimental, I went to parties, drank alcohol, did some weed, and hooked up… not because I was into those things but because I wanted to feel. I wanted to care about something. Yet I never felt anything but regret.

Why can’t I express my emotions? I know they are there. It’s as if they are locked up in a box inside of me.

On the first day of college, I was in a room filled with strangers, not a single familiar face, I felt like an outcast. Everyone is sitting next to someone but me.

As I sat at the back of the class next to a window, my eyes followed the leaves that fell from the trees announcing the beginning of fall.

My mind drifted into a peaceful scenario, everyone’s voices being muted by my brain as I took in such a beautiful scene. My chest felt heavy with emptiness, I would usually have a friend to share this moment with, yet here I sat alone.

I must have been too distracted cause I didn’t notice when he sat next to me, my body slightly jumping at the sudden appearance of the boy who sat next to me.

He was rather handsome, sharp nose, cat-like eyes, dark brown hair, and plump lips. He didn’t say a word though I know he must have felt my eyes on him, maybe he was trying to not embarrass me or maybe he was waiting for me to say something, yet I didn’t.

Once I was done staring I went back to stare at my window, noticing him shifting to look at it too, I couldn’t help but feel some warmth.

Why did I feel like that? He is just a stranger looking at the window… but why out of all these strangers he somehow make me feel at ease?

Freshmen year of college passed by, and I didn’t talk to this man, god knows what’s his name, but for some reason, he felt familiar, as if we had some type of bond. Maybe I’m crazy.

Our interactions that year went from walking to class together to sharing a couple of words when needed during class, it wasn’t until the last marking period that I realized I spent most of my time with him yet we were never close enough.

I felt weird. It felt weird.

Like imagine spending 70% of your day with the same guy for an entire school year and yet you don’t know his name or talk to him at all.

What’s crazier to me is that I feel like I got to know him through that silence… is this feeling what my friends call delusional? Is this real at all? Is it all my head? Can he feel it too?

Summer depression hit me like a truck, I’m not a sad person why do I feel this way? Empty… it’s like my body is craving something yet I don’t know what. I started getting frustrated, I thought spending time with friends and family would fix it, yet it didn’t… I’m missing a part… something.

During summer I went to a bunch of places, all of them filled with hundreds of people, yet my mind seemed to look for one each time… is it… him? ———

Sophomore year of college… I was too excited for my liking, I am usually terrified of new school years, afraid for what awaits me, but today my heart seems to beat faster than usual and it's not because I am nervous, it feels as if I'm waiting for something and I can’t wait to see it.

My day went by pretty fast, I went to my first two classes my heart filling with disappointment each time I scanned the room. At that moment I didn’t exactly know what I was looking for, I never really felt that way before.

The cold breeze was hitting my face as I sat in my business class, my mind focused on whatever I was working on.

“Is this seat taken?”

His voice sent shivers down my body, and my ears immediately recognized his soothing voice.

I look up to glare at him, the breeze coming from the window slightly moving his hair. I could feel my heart beating fast, my tummy doing backflips in excitement… I felt happy… but why?

“No, you can have it” I could feel my voice trembling as I spoke. As soon as he sat down I could only think of one thing.

Should I talk to him? What if I annoy him?

These thoughts consumed my head until the slight shift of his gaze moved toward me, my head immediately snapped to look at him.

“It's been a while,” He said softly with a thin smile on his face, I am not quite sure how I looked at that moment but I felt so self-conscious as I could see his eyes looking at me.

I nodded in response not quite sure what to say to that, I had a million thoughts running through my head, why do I feel this way around him?

“Minho” He continued, it must have been the way my eyes blinked in confusion as he slightly laughed “I figured you didn’t know my name, since we never really introduced ourselves last year” He explained. I wish the earth could eat me whole at this moment, I’m being too awkward. Say something y/n. SAY SOMETHING.

“uh oh,” I chuckled nervously, jesus christ why do I feel like imma puke right here “I’m y/n” I smiled, my gaze moving back to my computer. I was not too fond of the way I was feeling, It felt unknown and that scared me a lot.

Like why am I craving his attention but at the same time I wished he could disappear and leave me alone?

From that day on we became good friends, We would often greet each other and have casual conversations during class.

How much I loved your attention Lee Minho, yet you were clueless about it. If I had to name something I loved about him, I would stay and talk for hours.

“Y/n you are clearly in love” Those words repeated over and over in my head as my friend's voice muffled in the background. Love? “Y/n?” Is this how love feels like? “Y/N!”

I turn to look at my friend as she nudged my shoulder “All you talk about recently is about that damn boy, maybe you are finally catching feelings”

That night I stared at my ceiling, my eyes feeling heavy. Even when I was half asleep I would think of him. It wasn’t until I was almost asleep that I realized I was smiling hard at the thought of seeing him tomorrow.

I quickly sat on my bed, the darkness of my room surrounding me. Is this what love feels like? On one side I felt warm, but on the other side, I felt cold and afraid… what if he doesn’t like me? what if he does? Am I confused? Do I like him? Why him out of everyone? Why now and not before?

The next day I was so excited to see him, waking up a little earlier than usual to look good for him. I made my way through the lengthy hallways of our college when I spotted him. I felt nervous as I walked up to him, my heart falling to my stomach as I spotted him next to this beautiful girl.

She had long black straight hair, she was short and had a fit body, her curves were out of this world… and her face… don’t get me started.

I turned around with heavy feet, immediately searching for a bathroom.

I locked myself into a stall, it was 8:36 am.

Rule #3 don’t cry. Ever since I was a child I learned that crying doesn’t solve anything and that crying makes things worse, therefore I always hold my tears no matter how big the urge to cry.

In all my years of living, I never felt such an urge to cry as I did at that moment. I sat on the toilet concentrating on my breathing. The number of thoughts filling my mind was suffocating, I needed fresh air. Why do I feel like this? Why does my heart feel so heavy?

I left the stall to go to my business class, seeing him that day felt different, I was mad at him for some reason. Why? Is it because of the girl? He can have friends, is not like we are something, I remind myself.

That day I rushed to get home, the intrigue to know who this girl was, eating me alive.

I should have stayed curious.

Jasmine Kim, president of the architecture club, Asian student union, business manager of the robotics club, Academic weapon, and athletic.

How come have I never seen her before?

“ouuuu seems someone is jealous” My friend teased me through the phone, making me even more mad. I called her seeking help not to be made fun of. Ever since I did an FBI-type research on this girl I can’t help but compare myself to her. I never knew how to love myself, and this… this brought me to my lowest.

I hate feeling this way. I wouldn't say I like it. But no matter how mad I was, I couldn’t hate him.

Sophomore year went flying by, Minho seemed to grow close to Jasmine, and as much I wish I could say that didn’t affect me… it did. I decided to distance myself, after all, it was all a one-sided thing and it was for my well-being… right?

He had no clue about my feelings, so it wouldn’t matter if I suddenly disappeared from his life.

I felt selfish during this time, selfish of the way I treated him, I would ignore him during class or even his texts and he wouldn’t know why. He didn’t deserve this treatment, he didn’t deserve to be affected by my own emotions. ———

It’s the last summer days of 2023. Junior year started and it feels like it’s about to end. This year I haven’t seen Minho at all, my heart dies to see him but we have no classes together and my tight schedule keeps me busy from thinking of him.

“Remember Minho, The guy you had a crush on” My friend spoke on the the phone as I was too concentrated doing homework “What about him” I asked as I felt a knot forming in my stomach. I hated the way his name could get under my skin.

“He just joined my division in the robotics club and let me tell you that man is a complete dickhead” For some reason I felt the urge to fight back, defend him, and ask for an explanation; but I was too embarrassed for feeling this way I ignored her words “He is a man after all” Is all I managed to say, the curiosity eating me alive as I tried to not seem interested on what he could do to upset my friend.

After I found out about him being on the robotics club, I found myself going to the club often, I wasn’t part of it but I would make excuses to go and get glimpses of him.

The way he looked with his goggles on and thin layers of sweat on his skin. That man was dreamy no matter what he did.

No matter what I did to forget him, he would always be on my mind. In every room with hundreds of people, he would be the one I would look for.

“Excuse me” I raised my gaze to be met with a blond guy, he was the opposite of Minho, blond hair, a soft innocent face, freckles, and light brown eyes.

He was indeed pretty, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in knowing who this man was “I’m Felix” He said cheerfully.

I couldn’t help but compare him with Minho, unlike Minho he was friendly and straightforward “I’ve seen you around and I would like to get to know you”

To this day I feel so selfish for what I did. I thought that having someone's attention would make me forget you, yet you would still live rent-free on my head 24/7. I would often catch myself thinking about you. How was your day? Why do you look tired? Did you eat anything?

How much I wished I could get you out of my mind Lee Minho.

Putting him to the side, I and Felix spent a lot of time together, we had an art history class together, so we often met at the library to finish our projects.

“Would you like to go out for some beers with me and my friends?”

How much I wish I would of said no that day, maybe, just maybe that would have changed the track of things now. ———

I showed up, wearing my favorite cargo pants and a cute lace top, I had my favorite jewelry on and I went for a half-up hairstyle. I didn’t wanna go full-on dress up but I wanted to look classy and comfy at the same time.

How much I wish I would have worn something else.

I could feel my heart dropping to my stomach as the first person I spotted was him.

There are at least 100 people in this bar, yet there he is, sitting under the dim neon lights of the bar, he is wearing a full-on black outfit, his shirt unbuttoned showing a bit of his chest.

Talk about a man whore.

I jolt as I feel the warmth of a hand on my waist, turning around to be met with Felix. To this day I remember all this crystal clear, detail to detail.

I could tell he already had a couple of shots by the way he would slur his words.

“This is my homie Minho” He patted his back as he introduced me to him “We have known each other since high school, he can be our best man at our wedding”

I tried my best to not scoff at his words, wedding? We not even dating. I can tell Minho didn’t like this comment either by the way his posture became stiff and sat properly.

“Damn Felix, already feeling drunk,” He said in a tone that I can’t decipher to this day. It sounded annoyed but at the same time playful.

Minho stood from his chair and let Felix take it, he ordered him another drink and took me to another table.

“So you and Felix huh?” He sounded annoyed. At that moment I felt like I had to give him an explanation “We are not dating” I said briefly, why did I say that? That’s not his business.

“I see,” he said shortly. I remember the way my heart would pound, my hands were sweaty and I could feel my stomach doing backflips. I have never been so nervous around him till this day.

Maybe it was because it was our first time alone outside of school hours… or the shot of tequila I had was hitting.

As we both sat at a table away from our friends I could feel the way his eyes would travel around my body, I felt self-conscious.

The way his eyes would burn my skin is a feeling I miss with my whole heart. The chokehold you have on me Lee Minho.

“I love your necklace” He leaned to take a better look, his hand hesitating to grab the little Swarovski swan that hung on my neck.

His breath tickled my neck and I could feel myself shiver. I'm not sure if he was doing this on purpose but he was driving me crazy.

“Thank you, It’s my first ever expensive necklace,” I said as I tried to ignore the warmth of his breath on my neck “I bought it for myself on my birthday” I smiled as his gaze moved to look at my eyes.

“You gifted it to yourself?” I nodded “It’s expensive, I didn’t expect someone else to get it for me” I’m not sure if I was tripping but by the look on his face I could tell he wasn’t pleased with my answer.

His eyes looked at me with a million expressions written in them, the soft neon lights of the bar shone like a galaxy in them.

“I would treat you like a princess if you were mine”

I hate you.

How can you say that to me and then leave Lee Minho?

To this day I can hear your voice saying those words to me at night. It’s like if you engraved it on my brain so that every time I'm about to go to sleep I can hear it.

After he told me those words, I felt him getting closer, his hand on my hand as his eyes begged me for permission.

“May I?” His voice was as soft as the singing of an angel. Next thing I remember his plump lips were against mine. It was a sincere kiss.

There was no way he liked me back… I mean… I saw the way he treated Jasmine. This had to be a sick joke. I gently pushed him away, his face pouting as my lips left his.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped” He backed away, as he was getting ready to leave. I panicked. I didn’t want him to leave.

I grabbed his wrist out of instinct “What’s your relationship with Jasmine?” My impulsive thoughts got the best of me. He looked at me with a puzzled look “Jasmine?” He chuckled.

“Answer me,” I said coldly, no expression on my face. I was trying to not crack in front of him. I wanted to hear the answer I craved for months.

“She is a mutual childhood friend, she is captain of my robotics subdivision, so we keep in contact” His words lingered in the air as I tried to fit the pieces together in my brain.

Does that mean he likes me? Why he kissed me?

“Is that why you pulled away?” He asked softly as if he was trying not to scare me away. On the other hand, I was embarrassed, I didn’t have the guts to say yes so I simply nodded.

He chuckled one more time.

If he only knew how much I adored his laugh, the way it would fill my heart with joy. His laugh was like listening to my favorite song for the first time. How much I miss it.

He sat down again and leaned closer, his hand cupping my cheek as he stared at me with soft eyes. How much I wanted to kill him in that moment, why would he ever look at me with such a gaze?

“That was my first kiss” My world stopped. What? No way… he was playing games with me.

Before I could even talk he stood up from his chair and offered me a hand.

“Would you dance with me?”

That night we danced under the neon lights of the bar, without a single worry of the world. I was shy but with him, I felt like the most confident person in the room.

This was the beginning of an intoxicating relationship. ———

Maybe our story didn’t last long but the time we spent together is something I will treasure my whole life.

Dating Minho was like walking by the shore late at night. It was peaceful, too good to be true. I was too drunk on his love I wished it would never fade away.

I'm grateful for the amazing experience he gave me those years we dated. I learned to love, but most importantly I learned to love myself.

“You look beautiful” I opened my eyes to see him laying next to me, eyes in awe as he moved my hair away from my face. “Ur lying” I giggled trying to cover myself from his gaze. It was 8am, this man was definitely blind in love if he thought I looked beautiful in the morning.

That day something felt off, he was not the type to speak his mind, he talked through gestures not words. Yet today he was too talkative. Complimented me every chance he got.

It was around 7pm, he was in the kitchen cooking dinner while I was in our bed scrolling through TikTok mindlessly. I heard a notification coming off from his phone. Im not the type to check my boyfriend’s phone but the notifications weren’t stopping.

I stood up to pick it up from his desk and go leave it to him, whoever was texting definitely had something to say; however as I saw who was texting him, I couldn’t help myself but take a peek.

‘Minho you need to tell her now’

‘Don’t make this harder for yourself’

‘Think about her happiness’

I was puzzled as I read the texts, it was Jasmine who was sending them… what she meant by that… I was startle when he called me name “y/n dinner is ready”

I placed his phone down. Anxiety consuming me, tears threatening to fall, thoughts suffocating my mind.

As I sat in the dining table I contemplated whether I should confront him or not, he looked happy. What was he hiding.

“If someone ever asked me what I love the most about you” His words brought me back from my thoughts. I looked at him, my face had no expression, I didn’t know how to feel. “I would say your eyes” I could see the way his face lit as he spoke about me, his cheeks flushing as he giggled like a teenage girl in love.

I couldn’t help but smile, this was something I loved about him, he always knew how to make me smile. “What is this compliment for?” I knew he had something to say, I looked directly into his eyes, trying to make him crack. Reveal his secret.

“Nothing special, I have always loved your eyes but I was too shy to say it” He said vaguely while he ate his pasta “And why say it now?” I never took my eyes off him, I saw the way his eyes looked at me nervously, he was definitely hiding something.

He didn’t answer my question, he just smiled “Would you love me even if we were kilometers far away?” His tone was serious, I felt shivers running down my spine as I felt the coldness from the question.

“Of course I would silly, why?” I said trying to kill the tension that suddenly sparked in the room. He remained quiet but then he shook it off and offered me a smile, though there was something off about it.

We were preparing to go to bed, I was already changed into my nightgown while I brushed my teeth. Minho was taking a quick shower before bed, although he was taking longer than usual, so I decided to wait for him in bed.

About an hour had passed my eyes felt heavy, debating whether I should check on him or try to sleep, His behavior today kept worrying me, he was acting weird and he wasn’t getting off the shower. I didn’t like the tension that has been lingering since dinner.

I entered the bathroom, the shower was still on, the hot water causing the mirror to fog “Honey?” I said softly, the water turning off at the sound of my voice. He took his towel and dry himself vaguely, wrapping it around his waist.

He stood in front of me, hair wet, eyes glossy and lips parted. Im not quite sure if it was steam trapped in the bathroom or his breath taking appearance that made it hard to breathe.

Without notice he kissed my lips, his body pushing me towards the counter, I gasped as he picked me up so I would sat on the counter, he kept kissing me, so desperate so passionate. Something was off.

Minho was the type to take things slow yet today he was kissing me like it was his last time. That’s when my stomach dropped, the texts flashed in my head, his glossy eyes, the long shower, his question during dinner.

He was leaving me.

I placed my hands on his shoulder, gently pushing him, my heart shattering into pieces as I saw his tears rolling down his cheeks. I was quiet. Should I say something? Should I let him talk first?

He just stood in front of me, his gaze on my chest. I took a deep breath, a breath that held back my emotions, I know Minho and the last thing he would want to see is me crying for him.

I gently placed a hand on his cheek, ever so lightly like I was touching his fragile soul, and slowly I leaned to kiss his lips.

“I love you” I muttered in his lips, his hands moving to wrap me into a tight hug. This was the first time in three years of our relationship I ever said ‘I love you’ ———

The next morning I was cradled in his arms, my fingertips gently rubbing the scratch marks I left from last night.

I looked up to see him in a peaceful slumber. I looked at his plump lips I was busy kissing last night, I heard his stable heartbeat that brought peace to my mind, and I felt his warm skin touching mine. I wish I could capture all this in time. In all our years of knowing each other, that day felt like we truly got to know each other.

“I’m leaving to study abroad” My heart stopped. His words repeated in my head, tears threatening to fall “I’ll go wherever you go” My body betrayed me as tears rolled down my cheeks.

“Y/N” He hugged me as I tried to push him away “Your life is here, you can’t just abandon everything for me” He started crying as he hugged me tighter. I kept fighting back I wanted to push him away and look him in the eyes.

“You are my everything Minho” I screamed into his chest, my words being muffled. I could hear his heart-stopping, and that’s when I realized he was equally heartbroken as me.

I stopped fighting to hug him back, breaking into an inconsolable crying, he cried with me, our bodies dropping to the floor as we never separated from each other.

I had to let go. ———

A year passed after our break up, our memories playing vividly every time I walked by our favorite restaurant or the park he took me on our first date.

It was a cold day in the fall of 2023, I was making my way into the subway. I was listening to our shared playlist. I always listen to it when I have a bad day, it brings me comfort, and our memories warm my heart.

That’s when I saw him. My eyes must have been playing with my heart, I didn’t have time to process it when I found myself running towards him.

“Minho..” I said shyly, I hadn’t seen him in a year and now he dared to appear. His expression when he saw me copied mine. We were both equally stunned to see each other.

He hugged me without saying a single word, though I’m not surprised he spoke through actions, not words.

However, this is not a Disney fairytale where everything has a happy ending. We caught up with each other’s life, we had a great time together, and our connection didn’t fade away although we spent a year with no communication; however, it was time to say goodbye again.

It’s up to fate if our future is meant to be together, but something we both left clear is that we will always love each other.

So in conclusion. Lee Minho I hate you for stealing my heart but at the same time the love I profound you is a light in my heart that will never turn off no matter what the Universe has planned for us.

A love letter I wish it didn’t exist.

The end

A/N: The amount of tears I shed writing this is astonishing- anyway hope y’all liked it, the timeline in this is very inaccurate and my brain kept messing up, so if something looks off please tell me. Thank you <3

[icarustypicalfall]

There you are

MASTERLIST

summary: period comfort, no further explanation

warnings: SFW fem! reader, periods, tiny headcanons\fic sorry

note: not proofread, I'll edit it later

Also I'll post another fic about rudy in the day, i am just emptying my head or I'll explode.

“Like fire weeping from a cedar tree, know that my love would burn with me We'll live eternally”

This man is just too sweet :(

Rudy is usually just too sweet, he never stops offering affection, his gentle touch and tiny kisses are enough to cease your worries and sorrow.

He always keeps a snack and water in his nightstand in case you woke up at night.

When you wanted to come over, he was more than excited. He wanted to pamper you and take care of you.

His strongest trait is how observant and thoughtful he can be.

Rudy loved you deerly, he wished to give you the Ultimest love and unlimited comfort.

He offered to go shopping "to restock his apartment"

Secretly wanting to know what brands you used/prefered so he gets some for you, "just in case" :(

He ended getting more than just one packet of tampons.

Rudy got a whole section of sanitary/hygiene products and put them in a special drawer in his bathroom.

He even got your prefered soap and conditioner. Along a vanilla scented candle and a plushie :(

You thought he'll change after some time?

Ha

Jokes on you

Turns out he planned to be the sweetest man till his last breath :((

Today, because it had to be today :(

He figured out something was wrong when you woke up earlier than you usually do.

You were restless, fidgeting and roaming around.

He realized you were on your period when you kept holding your stomach and complain about back pain and headaches.

Your burning cheeks as you nodded, saying you were okay were the key.

Why were you embarrassed of telling him?

He didn't understand this embarrassment, you had nothing to feel shame about.

Rudy made sure to check the calendar and marked it down.

He did even keep a tracker on his phone for this time of month. Why wouldn't he?

He uttered, eyeing your tired form

"you alright, mi Cielo?"

He sighed when you nodded with an embarrassed yes.

You were lying

You were in fact, facing the ultimate- greatest - throeful - most painful period cramp of your entire existence.

You shed a tear while keeping the huge grin from ear to ear

Ha

You thought that'll fool him?

Nuh uh

He told you to go lay while he prepared something

Rudy preppared you a cup of warm tea, smiling as he handed you the cup

You sipped the hot drink, grateful for his kindness

He whispered, sitting beside you on the coach.

"There is no need to be embarrassed...I get it...you are not feeling well, and thats understandable, I just want you to be comfortable."

He smiled, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

When you finally told him, he chuckled, kissing your forehead.

"Thats alright, I figured you had it...just wanted to be here for you, mija"

You thought he'll be annoyed because of your mood swings or cravings?

Ha

Fool

"You are not whiny nor too sensative. You are just a human being...there is nothing to be guilty of, cariña.

"We can take the day off and rest at home with some pizza and icecream..."

He was startled when you started to tear up.

"Mi amor if you don't want pizza we can make something else!"

He nodded when you explained through tears you were just a tid more emotional, and he was just too sweet:(

Rudy kissed your tears, his lips brushing over your eye lids and cheeks :(

He smiled, uttering.

"I love you...you deserve the world, amor, you hear me?"

He said in a soft tender tone, letting his eyes roam on your tired face.

"we will have a nice day and you must rest as much as you want. I got you, amor..."

He ended by making the best pizzas. He gave you medicine, a warm bottle to put on your tummy and the best back masage of your existence :(

Rudy was unlike any men you ever met, he was just, him.

He treated you like the most precious gem.

He loved you deerly.

In fact, he wished for nothing more than holding you in nights like these, where you bury your head in his neck and he tells you fairytale in Spanish till you fall asleep.

He adored you

this could be me but instead i have an exam and dump finals to take care of. help

[caelanglang]

Who are your fav skk fanfic writers and why? Do you have their works that you love the most that you don't mind sharing here? 💘

this... this is such a hard question, *brings out a whole safe of records* /j (no srsly it's gonna be a long read--)

Here are a list of authors i really like :3 Their ao3 links/handles are:

the_most_happy: love how emotional their work can be! they have smut and fluff works, and most of all—which i think the the most delicious one, is the way they write angst <3 I actually made a bunch of fanart for their fics/aus when I was just getting into the fandom :3 They're writing is like going into a spicy sexy emotinal adventure... idk how else to describe it xD my fav fic of theirs... augh so hard to choose... In Loving Memory caught me so off guard (cuz i forgot to read the tags and immediately dived into it the moment i saw their post about it hhhh)

forest_racoon: The fluff and softness and magic in their writing is so good! I love the energy and comedy and seriousness and everything in their writing! it's always so fun to pick up any of their works~ Don't be tricked tho,, the angst they deliver have the same gravity ToT it's just so... augh... I first found them through Plate :( and have reread it several times (please check out their other works too it's all so amazing!!)

devilrin: love how she writes. period. the emotions and the poetic energy of it?? the angst?? so. good. the skk energy in their writing is more mellow(?) it feels more realistic—it's like watching people instead of characters ;w; (very cool how she world builds an entire life outside of her fic for her characters actually, got to witness the behind the scenes first hand myself its pretty insane to me) The fic that ruined me tho is Down to a Sunless Sea (which is so angsty im so--)

themadtree: The energy in their writing is just so amazing. it's very hard to stop mid-way! The dialogue feels very fun and engaging and you really get very attached to the characters because of how energetic and full of life they are. Whimsical is the best word I can think of to describe the reading experience of their work :3 They made a bunch of fun aus; their brain is just so amazing (pirate au and avatar au like broooooo) My favorite is Mors Vincit Omnia (yummy pirate au!)

StarshipDancer: one of the first ao3 writers whose name i decided to remember by heart (which means a lot considering how bad i am with names) because they are my most searched user in ao3 xD The fluff is just so addicting. The sillies and shenanegans are so on point for me, idk it just scratch this itch so perfectly in my brain. I draw a of inspiration from my skk sketches from their works actually :3!! READ EVERYTHING THEY HAVE PLS ITS ALL SO GOOD (you should check the fluff week collection augh) Without Words is one of my most reread ones... I think... I reread a lot of their works tho...

setosdarkness: let's be honest. i think everyone whose dived into ao3 skk just knows her alreayd xD she's such a kween for that, making sure we are so well fed with so much fun skk writing. Her works are so fun to read! Very comedic and has such similar energy to the gag moments and bickering and shenanigans of the anime skk for me idk why. I love how fun and unique each fic scenarios are :3 (no srsly you'll never run out of food made with so much love by athina-san)

xLillyle: I am working with Lilly for a Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood skk au!! (its Royai skk BUT it's also beast!skk) it's been so exciting to work with her :3!! You can check some of the teasers here. She made an iwaoi!skk fic recently so if that's you're type hehe *starts bawling*

there are lots of other amazing authors there but these are the ones that came to mind and i am most familiar with for now :3 Here are some other fics ~~

When I Awake: Ghost(?) Writer Dazai and Musician Chuuya. yummy angst. silly skk

castle out of couches: My favorite domestic fluff skk. it's my must read. Halfbloom is such a master of the fluff in comedic tone and capturing that skk domestic softness idk how they do it. it's just so good.

In One of the Stars I shall be Living: A sweetheart wrote a fic about my little prince skk au TT it's so well written and I am so in love with all the references and angst ueueue

Five Steps: My favorite skk knight x prince au TT

The Best Worst Thing: Another sweetheart wrote a fic based on my silly sketches ;w; it's so cute waaaaaa

okay. i am. so sorry for the long answer. I just love a lot of stuffs from these incredible writers. feel free to drop by again :3 these are the ones that comes to my mind first so i may have missed out on a bunch oop

[kirschteinoir]

just thinking about kuroo after the battle of the dumpster...

saw the haikyuu movie and cannot stop thinking about this man!!! kuroo is such an important character to the story and i'm glad his boobs are as big as his love for the game <3 when i tell you i was giggling kicking my feet in my chair whenever he appeared on screen... (≧◡≦) ♡

warnings; teensy bit angsty but has a happy ending i promise!!! mild spoilers for the battle of the dumpster movie and the timeskip

didn’t allow himself to be upset about losing to karasuno until he was alone late at night. for the first time in a while he allowed himself to stay up until the early morning, taking a leaf out of kenma’s book. after everyone else had gone to sleep, he snuck downstairs and re-watched the TV highlights of the match, scrutinising every detail (against his better judgement). he probably doesn’t even realise he’s crying until he can feel snot starting to drip down his lips and he momentarily grosses himself out. but he just lets himself cry and cry, horrible choking sobs that he has to hide behind the sleeve of his jacket so he doesn't wake anyone up. god forbid his team (or coach nekomata) see their giant jokester of a captain expressing his emotions!!!

the ride back home the next day is awkwardly silent. he does his best to remain chipper but he also knows his team needs time to recover and gather their emotions. he makes idle talk with kai since yaku is constantly in tears, who seems to be much calmer than everyone else, and kinda just stares out of the window, chin against his palm, until they pull up outside the school.

he doesn’t see kenma for a few days after the match. partly because kenma has a fever and is sleeping it off, but partly because he doesn’t know what to say to him. especially after the whole ‘thanks for getting me into volleyball’ moment… how do you even begin to talk about something like that? should he even talk about it? or is it something that should be preserved in the moment?

he spends the next few days resting his sore muscles, dodging questions from his dad about how the game went, thinking about how he was going to go to school next week and act like a normal high-schooler again despite feeling like a part of him has died. no more practice, no more volleyball at nekoma high.

of course, everyone at school congratulates the team. they get a shoutout in the school assembly on monday morning and have to awkwardly face the entire school as the principal describes how close they were to winning. it takes a lot for him to not burst into tears again on stage.

a lot of fellow students were cheering them on in the stands and kuroo makes sure to thank everyone sincerely for believing in them as they approach him in the school corridors. people always mention that it was such bad luck that the ball was covered in sweat, causing it to slip in kenma’s hands. kuroo’s smile is strained as he laughs it off, not knowing whether it was worse that their final mistake was something they couldn’t have ever controlled or if he would have preferred it to be a matter of bad technique.

unknowingly he regresses into himself, becoming less talkative and more serious for a short period after the game. it would be especially bad at the end of the school day, when he and kenma would usually meet up and head to the boy’s changing room together for practice. he instinctively packs his gym bag for a while, always realising too late that he didn’t need to bring it with him anymore and then being stuck with it for the rest of the day like some cruel taunt.

eventually he graduates, and real-life problems start replacing the loss of volleyball in his life. he knows the world moved on and now so must he. he speaks to his dad a lot about where he’s going to go after he graduates - he’s always done well in school and performed strongly in the entrance exams he took so he ends up at a decent university in the city, moves away from home (and kenma) to make new friends and start again

on his first day in his new dorm all alone, he feels the introverted, timid kid from his childhood start to resurface again. he thinks he might vomit but he shakes himself out of it momentarily by unpacking his sparse belongings, including his nekoma jacket. it’s comfy, he thinks to himself, and it would be a waste of a jacket if he’d left it to collect dust at home.

thankfully, his lectures and assignments keep him busy for a good month or so once semester starts. at first he texts kenma almost everyday but the younger boy starts to see how kuroo's replies get further apart and much shorter. kenma is still the team’s setter so he doesn’t exactly have free time either, but he wishes kuroo would maybe video call him soon, or at least come home to visit every now and then.

on the whole, kuroo enjoys his first year of university. he’s studying business and joined the uni’s volleyball society and team, through which he made a few friends. people recognise him too, as the captain of the red guys that played that one intense match against karasuno last spring. he’s like ‘yep that’s me :D’ before he thinks about the last time he contacted yaku, kai, kenma or anyone from his life one year ago. he feels guilty and that night, over a bowl of rice and some grilled mackerel, he replies to all of kenma’s awaiting texts (three of them) AND shoots yaku a message about his latest inter-university volleyball match. he also calls his dad, who tells him his sister is back in town and to come home and see her if he can spare the time.

let’s be honest, there probably isn’t a human on earth that kuroo tetsurou doesn’t have chemistry with. he’s definitely fairly popular and the guy that everyone wants to invite out because he always makes it a good time. also had a girlfriend or two (maybe even a boyfriend???) but wasn’t really looking for anything solid so graduated single, much to many peoples' despair.

university got easier when kenma joined him a year later. he helped the younger get acquainted with campus and all the ins and outs of what the students like to do but kenma was never going to be a party animal or a socialite so their dynamic from high-school was largely unchanged. it was just that kenma was now becoming famous and was making shit-loads of money… kuroo was in awe of what kenma had made of his life so far and i feel like he inspired him once again to pursue something he was passionate about, no matter how unconventional it may be

stopped playing volleyball for a while after graduating to work some odd jobs, constantly looking for that one thing that he would do until he would die

one of his uni teammates told him about an internship at the JVA and pushed him to apply for it. of course his application was stellar: interest in volleyball from a young age, outstanding academic performance, captain of his highschool VB team? he was their dream hire

the day he got the internship he invited coach nekomata out for drinks. just the two of them. kuroo still reveres nekomata like a god, despite the older man telling tetsurou he has far surpassed him by now. kuroo remains humble, unconvinced that his future work at JVA would even hold a candle to what nekomata did for him when he was younger. they talk about the nationals match and how it could’ve ended differently, they talk about the nekoma high volleyball club as it is currently and nekomata laments that under kuroo’s leadership it was truly the strongest they’ve ever been. they talk about hinata and kageyama and bokuto and oikawa and all these names from their past excelling in their professional volleyball careers and kuroo realises in his heart of hearts that he wants to be in that world too. maybe not on the court itself but definitely on the sidelines pulling the strings, connecting people. lowering the net.

about me. 

[wordstome]

i’m here to encourage you to please elaborate on singledad!könig

also, do any of their kids have any scuffles with each other? how do the parents and children deal with it?

This ask was sent 10 minutes after the dream daddy post went up. Anon, I adore you.

I was going to put single dad König in this same post, but then it started to go on and on, and I want to take my time with the second half of your ask as well, so all my König thoughts will go in a separate post. Thank you for enabling me :3

(also this is the post I lost 3 paragraphs worth of writing on. It was literally all of Price and Ghost's sections, so forgive me if they're not up to par).

Price: With three kids, there are bound to be spats. Brianna taking something of Alice's without asking, Clara ruining one of the older girls' possessions, etc. etc. People see Price with all girls and remark how peaceful his house must be, but Price (and anybody who has a sister) knows that is NOT true. The Price home is chaos interrupted by periods of peace. Luckily, their dad is a literal military captain, so he's able to whip them into shape. All manner of crying, yelling, and shrieking can be silenced with one singular "GIRLS!" from the man himself. Then after that comes the soothing and the stern talking-tos.

Ghost: I think Simon was great with kids pre-Roba, he had Tommy and then his nephew Joseph. But post-Roba and his work in the special forces, he's much more rough around the edges. Like I said in the main post, Caden is a pretty quiet kid, so I can't see him starting or getting into any trouble. But he is still a 10 year old, so I can see him throwing a fit when he's frustrated or uncomfortable. If this happens in public, Simon will pull him aside and talk to him quite sternly, especially if Caden is making a ruckus as an emotional outlet. In private, he gives Caden space to let it all out, and then talks to him afterwards. However, if Caden can articulate what's upsetting him, he's very gentle and understanding. One way or another, I can see Simon getting help with his PTSD, so he uses a lot of techniques that his therapist taught him with Caden.

Soap: I imagine Elodie as about 6-7 years older than Thomas, who is a literal baby, so I can't see that they get into any fights. Mostly Elodie getting cranky about Thomas getting all the attention, at which point Johnny has to reassure his daughter and give her some love as well. When they're older, Elodie is a classic older sister who fucks with her little brother. She's never truly malicious, but there are definitely times when Johnny's standing in front of them sighing and pinching his nose because Elodie's played a nasty prank on her brother. Johnny's a very picks-his-misbehaving-kid-up-like-a-doll-and-gives-them-a-noogie kind of parent. He's never raised his voice at his kids, but instead has an "if what I think is happening is happening, it better not be" tone that instantly strikes fear into his kids' hearts. I can hear it in my head. I know you guys can hear it in your head too. 'Nuff said.

Gaz: It's hard to say what it's like when Kyle's kids fight: I can see Violet being the sort of girl who is quite close with her younger brother, so I can't really imagine a lot of scenarios in which they would fight. But Elliott is a younger brother and Violet is a growing teenage girl, so there have probably been a few times when Violet got mad at Elliott and screamed at him or said something that she regretted. Kyle and Emily will both scold the kids when they step out of line, and they both do their part when it comes to discipline. Kyle in particular is a very "I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed" sort of parent. He expects a lot of Violet, but sometimes that pressure can get to her.

König: This man is overwhelmingly soft for his daughter. The calmest, most gentle giant. I think out of all the dads he's most susceptible to spoiling her, which obviously could become a problem. He's incredibly lucky though, because Ava is an angel. She is spoiled, being an only child on her daddy's colonel salary, but she gives more "kind rich girl" vibes than "inconsiderate little brat". I'm going to elaborate more on this in the upcoming König post, but he's got this deep sadness to him because he lost his wife. Ava is a pretty perceptive child, so she doesn't act out unless she's having a really hard time, in which case König is nothing but soothing and reassuring.

Horangi: If Ryujin (Hong-jin's daughter) has beef with you, he's kicking your ass right alongside her. When she was young, she was fully capable of both starting and finishing fights, and Hong-jin was an incorrigible enabler who was more likely to double over laughing than scold his daughter. Her mother usually had to be the disciplinarian. Hong-jin and Ryujin have a complicated relationship, but in adulthood, they're pretty even keel, and have grown even closer since the death of Ryujin's mom.

Keegan: Jason and Cecelia have been through a lot together, so they don't really fight. When they do though, it's nasty, and Keegan serves as more of a go-between than a disciplinarian role. Both of them will seek advice from him, but he understands that they know each other better than he does. Not for lack of trying, of course, but it's inevitable with older adoptions. His role comes from having more life experience, and he's got a kind of impenetrable chill that makes everybody a lot calmer.