#i think it's monkey brain kicking in

[zzxya]

fellas is it uhhhh is it weird to uhh have a crush on your own character?

[zoanzon]

Me @ brain: why the fuck are you locking up in a hyperfocus on kinda-traumatic memories? Why the fuck did a very mild trigger, with zero bad-brain stuff earlier today, lock my brain up when more substantial 'bad brain moods + mild trigger' interactions haven't caused this? Me @ brain: bitch? Bitch???

[moonstruckme]

hi! i've been stalking your page for literal hours and i love how you write poly marauders so much!! could you write how they would react to the reader coming home from a night out with a black eye or something like that?? <33333

Thank you lovely! And thanks for being so patient while I took literal months to get to this request haha, love you! <3

cw: reader is drunk and has a black eye

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.2k words

“Hey, gorgeous,” Sirius says as you come in the door. Remus shushes him, and he lowers his voice. “How’re the girls?” 

“Good,” you reply, cautiously quiet as you kick off your shoes. 

Rounding the couch, you see James asleep on Remus’ shoulder, a small puddle of drool soaking into the material of the taller boy’s pajama shirt. They’re all in pajamas, actually. Envy strikes you through the heart. They look so unbearably cozy, better than you in your scratchy jeans and too-tight top. 

“I hope you didn’t wait up,” you say as Remus flips his book closed, and Sirius chuckles. You’ll learn later that you’d been slurring your words. 

“We don’t mind,” Remus confirms your suspicions. “You didn’t walk home by yourself, did you?” 

You shake your head, flopping into the spot beside James on the couch. Only you hadn’t quite thought that through, and Remus tuts as he starts to rouse. 

“Sorry,” you whisper. “Um, the girls dropped me off out front.” 

Sirius nods his approval. James hums as he picks his head up off Remus’ shoulder, spotting you. 

“Hey, lovie.” He transfers his affections to you, wrapping his arms around your neck and letting himself weigh heavily against your front. You giggle, your favorite monkey. “Did you just get home?” 

“Uh-huh. Oh, Jamie!” You gasp as a memory makes its way out of the fog of your brain. “I saw something you would have loved.” 

“What’s that?” he asks. 

“We came across a dog park, and I didn’t even know those could be open at night but—” 

“No, angel.” He’s stopped hugging you, an unpleasant development, one of his hands leaving your neck to hold your cheek. “What’s that on your face?” 

“Hm?” You don’t remember anything getting on your face. “I dunno. Jamie, I’m trying to tell you about the puppies.” 

“Just hold on, darling, sorry. Is that a bruise?” 

“What?” Sirius is in front of you before you know what’s happened. Vampire-fast, you think fascinatedly, wondering if he’d have been a streak across your vision had you bothered to look. Though, to be fair, your vision is generally streaky at the moment. He takes your chin in his hand, tilting it up and to the side. “Remus, point your light here.” 

There’s a low creaking as Remus adjusts his reading lamp, and then you’re squeezing your eyes shut. 

“Jesus, what the hell?” 

Remus curses softly, and you squint to see him leaning closer to you. Your boyfriends’ faces crowd your vision like a three-headed monster. 

“Baby,” Sirius says, sounding heartbroken, “what happened?” 

“I don’t—can you move the light away?” 

More creaking, and you can see again. You blink, eyes watery, and Sirius lays a painstakingly gentle thumb over the skin beneath your eye. 

“It must be bad if it’s already bruising,” he says. 

Remus stands. “Then we should put ice on it.” 

You pout as he disappears into the kitchen, but Sirius recaptures your attention by turning your face toward his. 

“I need you to think.” He fixes his stare on yours gravely. His eyes are the color of the moon reflecting off water. You try to tell him so, but his frown doesn’t abate. “Listen,” he says, “what happened to hurt your eye? You have to remember.” 

You purse your lips, shaking your head at him. “I feel like I’d know if something happened,” you say self-assuredly. “It’s probably just makeup. Can you get me a wipe?” 

“Angel.” James’ eyebrows have hooked upwards in the middle. He’s looking uncharacteristically serious, too. Your boyfriends are really not being a ton of fun tonight, you think. “It’s all red and purple. You can’t tell me that doesn’t hurt, babydoll.” 

You shrug. That may be so. But if it doesn’t hurt, who really cares? 

Sirius gets up just as Remus comes back with what looks like a balled-up dish towel. He passes it to you with a tender look on his face. 

“Put this on your eye, honey,” he says. Then, “Sirius, love, where are you going?” 

“To call Evans.” 

You touch the cloth to your eye, but it’s freezing cold, and you opt to let it rest in your lap instead.

“She won’t even be home yet,” Remus argues. “And what do you think you’ll accomplish if you do get ahold of her? She can’t tell us anything now that she won’t still know in the morning.” 

“What if somebody did this to her? If Evans saw, I want to know about it tonight.” 

“Don’t you think,” James says, “that if someone hit her, the girls would’ve come in and told us?” You lean against his side, and he wraps an arm around you automatically, rubbing your shoulder. He smells like strawberries and laundry detergent and something ineffably homey. “They wouldn’t have just dropped her off out front.” 

“What if no one saw?” 

“Then what do you think calling will do, love?” 

“I just…I feel like I have to do something. Don’t you?” 

You lean your head on James’ shoulder and snuggle into the familiar sounds of your boyfriends’ voices, overlapping and intermingling. You don’t realize they’ve gone quiet until Remus’ hand wraps around yours, and you open your eyes. 

“You’ve got to actually hold this on your eye,” he chides lovingly, taking the dish towel from you and pressing it to your face. 

The edge of something hard beneath the cloth digs into a tender spot beneath your eye, and you flinch. “Ow.” 

Remus’ forehead creases sympathetically. “Sorry.” 

But the pain brings another memory out of the fog. You pick your head up as you feel your good eye widen in realization, meeting Sirius’. 

He flicks up an eyebrow. “What’re you smiling about?” 

“I remember what happened,” you admit, a touch of embarrassment to your tone. And if you hadn’t had everyone’s attention before, you do now. 

“What was it?” James rubs your shoulder reassuringly. “You can tell us.” 

“It’s…when we were at the dog park, I got distracted.” 

Remus’ eyes narrow. “Go on.” 

You rub your lips together self-consciously. “I may have walked into a sign. About poop bags.” 

James leans away from you to see you better. “Like, a metal sign?” 

You nod, and he winces. 

“Ouch, lovie.” 

“Fucking hell.” Sirius covers his face with both hands, loosing a big breath through the cracks in his palms. Remus reaches back to pats his leg consolingly. “I was ready to go after whoever did that with a tire iron.” 

You shrink into the couch cushions. “Sorry.” 

“You could still take a tire iron to the sign, I suppose,” James says. 

Sirius ignores him, crouching in front of you and taking your face in both hands. Remus lets the cloth drop rather than maneuver around him. “Don’t ever scare me like that again, understand?” 

“Yeah,” James agrees, “if you injure yourself in the future, ask for a pen and make a note on your arm or something. Save us the worry.” 

You lean forward, pressing a lingering, heartfelt kiss to Sirius’ cheek. 

“Thanks for worrying,” you say, and where your lips touched him the skin glows pink. 

“You’re taking years of my life, you know,” he says quietly. 

Remus chuckles. “Don’t worry. It looks good on you.” 

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

The Wayne boys most days without sleep before they finally crashed (two manage to beat out Batman)

Tim Drake - 12 days

Tim fidgets with his hands while staring at a wall.

Tim: All around the mulberry the monkey chased the weasel da da da da-

An alarm goes off a second later.

Tim: POP GOES THE WEASEL!

Kara, Kon and Bernard look on concerned.

Kara: Hey, Tim how long you been awake?

Tim, rocking back and forth: 288 hours.

Kara: 200 and what?

Kon: You've been awake for 12 days?!

Bernard: Again Tim?

Kara & Kon: Again?!

Bernard: I've seen it before.

Tim: Seen it before and I can go longer. The first record holder stayed up for 12 days. I can go longer. I can go longer. I can. Batman can't even do that!

Tim cackles rocking back and forth.

Tim: Coffee helps especially when you replace it with all other liquids.

Tim grabs a large cup of coffee as his hands shake vigorously.

Bernard, rubs his boyfriend's back.

Bernard: Timmy, let's take you home okay?

Tim: Home, no home. I fall sleep. Sleep for the weak... Did you know if you look at the walls long enough, new people appear.

Tim waves, laughing nervously then tenses horrified.

Tim: Their face is contorting again!

Bernard: Let's take you away from the scary... Invisible person and get you home to rest.

Bernard takes Tim's hand and takes him out of the Dunkin donuts.

Kara: I could not handle dating a batkid.

Kon nods.

Kon: I dated him for a while, I agree.

...

Dick Grayson - 18 days and 15 minutes

Kori and Beast Boy walk into the titans living room. Raven is meditating.

Kori: Where's Dick at?

Raven: Outside counting blades of grass.

Kori: Counting blades of grass?

Beast boy: Oh Jesus, has he been staying awake for days at a time again?

Raven nods with her eyes closed.

Raven: He'll crash at any second, but he thought being outside with the sun would 'revitalize' him.

Beast Boy: That's not- I'll be back.

Beast Boy goes outside where Grayson is actually counting blades of grass. BB walks over to him. He taps his foot. Grayson looks up, his eyes widen and one twitching.

Dick: Hey- Hey- Hey buddy. Did you know we have one hundred thousand blades of grass. I- Did you change colors?

BB: What color do you think I am?

Grayson squits his eyes.

Dick: Blue.

BB: All right we're on that color, how long you been awake for buddy?

Dick: I stopped sleeping last Wednesday... Then a week passed... Then another, that was 14, now it's Saturday of the second week.

Beast Boy arms crossed, sighs and walks off to re-enter the tower.

BB: 18 days this time.

Beast Boy walks away as Kori is shocked.

Raven: He's surpassing the world record holder. Also his brain might be dying.

Kori: Might be?!

Raven: He's a batkids, their brains are made of steel or something.

Kori: I have one trick that usually knocks him out-

Raven: I know it's sex.

Kori, giggles: Yes, but he falls asleep on top of me every time.

Raven sighs shaking her head while Beast Boy leaves the house with a water bottle.

Beast Boy: Right, I'm going to give him this sleep juice Alfred sent us. He says it knocks them out in a few seconds.

Raven: Smart choice.

Beast Boy: Thanks.

...

Jason Todd - 4 days

Jason: I can't sleep.

Roy: How long have you been awake?

Jason: About four days. Man I tried to go to sleep, but my body physically won't let me sleep!

Roy: Well you have been drinking Red Bulls every other hour. You're too focused on the mission. Just go to sleep.

Jason shakes his head while rocking back and forth.

Jason: Can't sleep... Won't sleep... No sleep.

Roy thinks about a way to get him to sleep then smiles.

Roy: You know you're becoming just like your dad. That's good, he can go six days without sleep, maybe you'll-

Jason stands up and goes to another room, closes his door and falls into his bed to sleep.

Roy: Works every time.

...

Damian - 1 day

Damian: I don't want to go to sleep! No!

Datmien kicks his feet as Bruce drags him to bed.

Bruce: Nope, you stayed awake for 24 hours. That's it. Go to bed!

Damian: You're so unfair!

Bruce: You're not depriving yourself of valuable sleep- Alfred shut up!

Alfred, who is reading a book about sleep disorders, smirks and then walks away.

[vagabond-umlaut]

every rose and its 'twin prickles'

Or: you and the two fearsome monsters, your knightly husband must wage a war against everyday, for the sake of a glimpse of you.

▸ dad!gojo satoru x mom!reader; 1.45 wc; fluff, fluff, gallons and gallons of fluff; a pair of cute, possessive and too-wise-for-their-age babies who love their mama wayyy too much; poor miserable deprived 'toru; sprinkles of humor too added in there; implied no curses!au

▸ i dump the blame of this on @afortoru's shoulders. A, look what you made me do ▸ writing this genre for the 1st time! characters, image or divider used aren't mine. please don't plagiarize or translate or repost this. enjoy reading! ❤️

Do you know what’s the best thing about work? 

Every evening it ends early. 

Do you know what’s the best thing about home? 

Every evening you’re there.   

Walking into the barely-lit flat, a soft smile lights up the expanse of Satoru’s face as the quiet sounds of snoring float over from the bedroom. Dumping the bag on the sofa and shrugging off the coat, the man moves silently further into the apartment – weary mind conjuring images of you in an oversized black tee [of his], curled into yourself in the king-sized bed, the cutest little pout on your lips as you babble in your sleep – then pauses, a hand on the doorknob.  

Two pairs of blue eyes sparkle at him from the almost-darkness of the room.  

Satoru closes the door behind and slumps against it.  

Two matching grins aim at his heart from the human blanket over your form. 

Sharp. Shrewd. Cruel. 

You wrap an arm round each of those two monkeys – the latter back here from their grandparents', two days before schedule.  

Ten years ago, were anyone to tell Satoru there would be a day in the future when he would have to fight for you, only to taste defeat, again and again and again, the man would have emptied his glass of champagne on their clothes, then kicked them out of the reception party. 

Yet, now... as he trudges closer to the door and extends a hand to brush a few wily wisps of hair away from your forehead – only to have it slapped away harshly by a little palm – he can’t help but wonder what sin he committed in his previous birth, to have received an angel like you as his wife, but two demons like them for his children.  

Sachiko, the older of the twins, glares up at her father. “Papa, no!! Mama’s sleeping,” She whisper-yells, eyes darting from him to you than back to him, lips tugged down in a scowl, the likes of which he has only seen in a mirror. On your other side, a mop of white hair nods, albeit not without a tiny yawn – Sachiro’s definitely inherited your sleepiness in a rainy weather.  

Satoru lifts an eyebrow in return. “I can see that, you two. Now go, play with your toys or something. I wanna cuddle with my wife.” 

“But we too wanna cuddle with Mama,” Sachiko retorts as she slips out from under your arm and sits up on the bed. The tiny ponytail on her white head stays in a complete disarray; your husband watches your daughter tug at it a couple of times, frowning, before she gives up, returning her glower to him as she continues, “So, you can’t cuddle with her. Mama is ours now.” 

Your son again gives a small “yes” at her words, followed by a yawn – a reaction which Sachiko doesn’t deem to be enough, apparently, given how she throws a glare his way next. “Hey, whose team are you on, dumbo? Mine or Papa’s?” 

The answer arrives in an instant, in the most matter-of-factly voice possible from a five-year-old. “Yours, obviously. I don’t want Papa to steal Mama away. She’s ours.” 

The smug grin directed his way next makes Satoru want to flick two foreheads pretty hard – but he doesn’t. Any rash or impulsive action can only do him more harm now, driving him further away from his goal.  

So, cogs whirring in his brain, he crouches down to his kids’ eye level and smiles.  

“What do you think of a compromise, kids? Why don’t you make a deal with me?”  

Two pairs of blue clash with the original pair of blue for a while, suspicion in one, suspicious curiosity in the other, while challenge swirls in the last; before a huff breaks the staring contest and your daughter folds her arms across her chest. Exchanging a glance and a nod with her, your son too sits up and announces, “Okay, we’re interested. What’s the deal?” 

Your husband lets out an internal whoop of victory. 

“Belgian chocolates in exchange for a cuddling session with my wife.” 

“Bleh!” Sachiko makes a disgusted face – something which takes him back to his younger days when Suguru and Shoko used to imitate his expressions – and whines, “They are so bitter, yuck! Suggest something better.” 

“A doll house for you and a car for Sachiro, if that’s the case.” 

The latter is the one to turn down this time. Tone brimmed with disappointment – something he can only ever learn from you – he says, “But you just bought us one last month, Papa! Mama always asks you to save money... why don’t you ever listen to her?” 

A knife of guilt lodges itself into his heart and twists. Satoru sighs. “I do... I try to, always, but you two make it so difficult for me to! Why are you like this? Is it so unfair to want to spend some time with her? She is as much my wife as much she’s your mom.” 

“We know,” The addressed two answer in unison with sage little nods of their head. The girl continues with a grave expression matching her brother’s, “But we can also ask you the same, Papa. She is as much our mom as she’s your wife. Is it so unfair to want to spend some time with her?”  

“Besides, you spent five extra years with her, before we were born. We just want to make up for the time lost,” Sachiro chimes in with a pout. “Tell us, Papa,” The two again speak in a heart-wrenching chorus, “Is it so unfair to want to spend some time with her?” 

“The kids are right, y’know?” A mumble pops the gravity of the situation at hand, and Satoru looks down to find you awake, cracking an amused smile at them. He huffs, rising from the floor and plopping on the bed next to you, arms folded against chest.

“Can’t believe I am so unloved and unwanted in this world. My kids don’t love me. They don’t listen to me. My wife too doesn’t love me. She never supports me. Welp, got to be the unluckiest to be in my shoes right now, I guess.” 

Your husband pauses, giving a small break for the words to sink into everyone, before you let out a long exhale and send him a minor twitch of your lips. Sachiko moves to pat his head, the same moment Sachiro reaches over to clasp his small arms around his neck. You too rise and embrace him from behind, placing a small kiss in between his shoulder blades.  

“Y’know, it’s not like that,” You say, placing your ear on his back, “Just ’cause the kids love me more doesn’t mean they don’t love you. And it’s not even your fault – my personality is so awesome, everyone can’t help but adore me the moment they see me – isn't that right, babies?” 

“Right, Mama,” A pair of wonderstruck voices ring out in reply to your jocular question – you continue in the same note, with another kiss, this time on the nape of his neck.

“And because your awesome Mama’s asking you now, will you two be good babies and let Papa too sleep here with us? Look at him: he’s so tired and sad. You don’t want your dearest Papa to be sad and tired, right? You will let him cuddle with us, won't you?” 

Satoru watches the twins look at each other for a second, then the younger acquiesce, “Papa can cuddle with us. That’s okay, maybe.” The two then proceed to shoot a particularly sharp look at him; one he responds to with a cheeky smirk, which disappears into a soft smile when he feels you manoeuvre his face towards yourself, a light grasp on his chin.  

“See, the kids agreed. Now, are you feeling loved and wanted?” 

“Infinitely more,” He replies with a peck on your lips – however, before he can deepen the kiss a tad more, you bring him into a sleeping posture beside you, the kids immediately piling on top of the two of you. You offer him something between a cute pout and a sorry smile, which earns a wink from your husband. 

Turning to one side, Satoru drags you, Sachiko lying on top of you and Sachiro lying in between him and you, into himself, letting him be lulled to sleep by the melody of your laughs and your kids’ half-hearted harrumphs.

  

Do you know what’s the best thing about life? 

Every tiniest bit of it he gets to spend beside you, the light of his life, and the two imps, your and his love brought into this world – even if he knows he’s going to get kicked out of bed the very microsecond you fall asleep again. 

▸ masterlist

[dogsuffrage]

naw. i think the monkey part of my brain just thinks that trees are Safe. besides god would have needed to climb up the tree if he wanted to smite me, which would’ve opened him up to getting kicked in the head. if the romans could kill him for three days with t-posing im pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to make it up my tree, which would’ve turned the whole thing into a siege, and i can say right now there’s a 0% chance of god being able to out-wait an autistic kid in a tree. he’s gonna get called away on some godly task in an thirty minutes tops but that kid has nowhere to go until lunch. easy win.

I can't debate this logic it's pretty sound

[charlottesuzee]

Telling Him "Wake Up, My Boyfriend's Here !" (One Piece Men x GN!Black Reader)

Monkey D Luffy

- "Ay, Luffy, wake up, you gotta go !"

- "Wha... Why ?"

- "You gotta leave the room, my boyfriend's here ! He'll kill you if he sees you !"

- "Let him come, I'll kick his ass !"

- And he really gets up, ready to fight someone before he finally connects the dots

- "Wait a minute... I'm your boyfriend ! .... I am your boyfriend... right ?"

Roronoa Zoro

- It takes a minute to wake him up

- "Zoro,I'm serious, wake up, you gotta go."

- "What the fuck are you talking about ?"

- "My boyfriend is coming, he'll kick your ass if he catches another man in our bed, you have to go !"

- Will deadass, get up, half asleep and start putting his clothes on before he finally puts the pieces together.

- "Oh, fuck you, you ruined my nap !"

Blackleg Sanji

- "Sanji, you have to leave !"

- "Huh, why, what's wrong ?!?"

- Because you woke him up with such urgency, he shoots up, looking for danger

- "My boyfriend will literally kill me if he sees another man in our bed, you have to go !"

- "I'll be damned if a man lays his hands on you let me-!" He then pauses. "Sweetness... I'm your boyfriend." He then starts sobbing "I am your boyfriend, right ?!? You haven't been using me to two time with someone else right ?!?"

- You'll have to comfort him as punishment for your mean prank.

Charlotte Katakuri

- Will deadass sit up from his slumber and look at you before you do it

- "Don't even think about it. Go back to bed." He says before going back to sleep, causing you to pout, because you didn't even get to say anything yet.

- It's hard to pull pranks on a boyfriend that can see into the future, even in his sleep.

Eustass Kid

- "Kid, wake up, my boyfriends is here, you have to go !"

- "Let him come, I'll kill him" He doesn't even process what you said, he just yawns, rolls over and goes back to sleep as if he didn't even hear anything. It's hard to get Kid to wake up from a slumber.

Killer

- "Kill, wake up !"

- "Huh ? Wass wrong ?" His speech is a little slurred when waking up

- "My boyfriend is coming, you have to leave !"

- Will just stare at you for the longest amount of time, there's a flaw in your sentence but his sleepy brain can't process it fast enough to figure it out, until he does.

"You fuckin play too much, do that shit again and I'm kicking you out of our bed." And will roll back over and go back to sleep without another word.

- He's still mad about it after he wakes up and gives you the silent treatment for about an hour.

Law

- "Law, wake up !"

- "You better have a good reason for waking me up or I swear to God-"

- "This is a good reason, my boyfriend is coming down the hall, you have to go before he catches us !"

- Law's still pretty sharp, even when he's half asleep, so he immediately catches the flaw in your sentence. He will give you the "bitch really ?" look, before using his devil fruit to transport you out of the bed and outside of your room, before locking the door on you.

- He's that petty about losing what little sleep he gets.

- "Law, let me in ! I'm sorry ! I won't do it again !"

- "I'll open the door when I wake up from my nap ! That'll teach you not to be a dumbass !" And will use his devil fruit to created a barrier around himself to drown out your knocking and yelling, going back to sleep, hugging your pillow close to him.

[verysium]

There are no words for me to describe how much I love when you talk about sae……every little tjing feels so canon

Please continue tp yap about him ( those are the sae crumbs I have been living off since the last months )

😳 you know what...maybe i should start working on that sae summer wip. in the meantime though, here are some thoughts on sae's childhood:

sae was inherently a minimalist child. not that he was as boring as the beige mom aesthetic, but he definitely had a steve jobs one-outfit-for-a-lifetime mindset. his mother tried diversifying his closet, but he just ended up wearing his childhood clothes into adulthood. his go-to look consists of tracksuit pants, adidas, and some kind of pull over sweater. can't even insult him as an outfit repeater because he somehow pulls it off every time.

this is purely a sibling thing, but i wholeheartedly believe that sae's parents weren't sure if their second child was going to be a boy or a girl, so they made sae wear gender neutral clothes growing up. hence why his style is somewhat androgynous.

i absolutely think sae had a talkative phase. he just selectively yapped at night. rin probably kicked his feet and giggled over those conversations cause what do you mean his nii-chan actually wanted to talk to him?

sae and rin both had dimples, but sae's faded over time because he rarely smiled. his deadpan expression, however, caused him to gain a prominent crease between his eyebrows.

speaking of eyebrows, sae's are thicker than rin's, so he always does that one-eyebrow raise. baby rin couldn't figure how to do that for the life of him, so he had to hold one eyebrow down and use his chubby fingers to lift the other one.

whenever sae got angry as a child, he unconsciously did the itoshi pout. ended up looking a whole lot like this: 😾

pre-teen sae's enamel was no joke because tell me why he could bite into a whole bar of ice cream and not brain-freeze to death. always helped rin unwrap his popsicles because he knew that little shit struggled with any form of plastic packaging.

his obaa-san was the first to call him sae-chan and he just stuck with it. it's officially sae-chan now, guys.

first grader sae thought monkey was a cuss word, so now all of his insults have that simian lingo. "sub-monkey piece of scum." "monkey piece of shit." you name it. kenjaku would like him.

believe it or not but toddler sae actually had one of those big gummy smiles where you could see his pretty little gums and the gaps between his teeth. unfortunately, it disappeared just like his will to live.

since birth, sae's hair has defied all laws of gravity, so he always keeps a hairband or two on his wrist. his mama used to clip up all of his hair into one little tuft on the top of his head.

and last but not least, child sae despised any and all forms of family photos. holiday cards, beach trip memorabilia, vacation souvenirs, you name it. tried to pose but ended up looking awkward with a big fat grimace on his face.

[simpinformonkies]

hiiii niiiilllooooooo

howzabout a wukong or macaque x celestial monkey reader? :3

I FUCKING GOT YOU FAM! I'll do Wukong for this one.

WUKONG

-He came to a random island when he was younger to steal some fruits for his master during the journey (Tripitaka had complained about being hungry) and had been about to swipe a crisp, red apple when you came barreling towards him with sharp claws, fluffed fur and bared teeth.

-You were a Celestial Primate- one of the only four in the world- and were pissed to find Sun motherfucking Wukong on your island- worse, he was attempting to steal YOUR FOOD!

-You wanted nothing to do with the monkey, not after his 'havoc in heaven', and practically told him as such, words spitting pure, undultured poison at the other monkey.

-But, you were not heartless, and allowed Wukong to leave your island unharmed... only to realize, hours later, that the bastard monkey stole your damn apples! you were furious, but let it go- it wasn't like you'd be seeing him ever again.

-Too bad you were wrong- that annoying simian came back every few years just to mess with you, and it pissed you off every time he did it. One moment you'd be lounging around on your beloved island's beaches, and the next, Sun Wukong would be causing mayhem somewhere closeby.

-In general, Wukong was being a annoyance and menace.

-What a shocker! Not like he's like that all the fucking time or anything...

-Can you hear the sarcasm?

-Anyway, you dealt with him for centuries, and while you found he was still very annoying, you... stopped having your words and insults hold so much bitterness and bite- you were tired of being an asshole to this simian, it just wasn't worth it. Nowadays, if he annoyed you, you'd just smack him with your tail and go on about your day.

-Some days, you'd even find yourself wishing that he was on the island- especially when the boredom kicked in- but you'd just shake your head and swat the thought away as it was a fly.

-But damned if that thought wasn't as annoying and unkillable as a fly- somehow, your brain would always come back to thinking of Wukong, it was driving you crazy.

-Nevertheless, you just dealt with his antics with a fond roll of the eyes and a swat of the tail, and it stayed like that for decades (centuries? You don't remember, time is an illusion).

-Then came the time- just a few years before Wukong would find his 'successor'- that Wukong started leaving things on your island. From shiny necklaces, bracelets and rings, to following you around on your island, to even laying down on the beach with you when you go to soak in the warm sun, running his fingers through your hair and untangling any knots you find.

-This went on for a few weeks before the whole thing hit you like a freight-train.

-'This is courtship,' you'd think, blinking confusedly as the situation settles itself in your mind, 'Sun Wukong, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, is courting me.'

-'...And ya know what?' you lean into his hands, smiling as they gently cascade through your fur, 'I'm okay with that.'

[fairyvearths]

3 times you try (and fail) to kiss luffy and the 1 time he kisses you

FANDOM: one piece WORD COUNT: 5, 300+ PAIRING: monkey d. luffy x reader WARNINGS: none, for the most part. a hint of jealousy, but it’s very small.

NOTE: hello @hawkix, i am your secret santa for the @onepiece-blorboexchange​. i hope this piece is to your liking. merry christmas, and happy holidays 🎄🎁 also cross-posted on archive

one

“You’re best friends with Luffy, right?”

Zoro is sleeping—or at least, trying to. With how rambunctious the crew is right now, and the way the ship rocks on the waves, it’s pretty easy to assume that the man is still awake. That, and, you had seen his brows flinch slightly when your shadow fell over his face.

But still, he pretends.

Fine.

You kick him.

Zoro catches your ankle before you make contact with his leg. “Oi,” he snaps.

You flail for balance, a squeal sticking in your throat as your centre of gravity tilts.

Zoro pulls you as you fall and you crash on your side.

“Ow,” you say, mostly for show, because your arm had cushioned your landing and you’ve been through much worse than this. Zoro knows it too.

“Quit being a baby,” he grouses, shifting himself up higher on the railing now that he’s officially awoken from his nap. “The Hell were you thinking, trying to kick me?”

You roll onto your back. “You were ignoring me.”

“I was trying to sleep.”

“But you weren’t, yet.”

“Yeah—yet. I was getting there.”

“So you just ignored me?” You bat your arm in his general direction. “What if it was an emergency?”

“It wasn’t.”

“You don’t care about me.”

“The Hell?”

You giggle because he didn’t say, ‘Yeah, of course I don’t’ and that’s a win if you’ve ever encountered one. “You don’t,” you sigh, carpeting the floor with your faux misery. “I could die and you woul—”

“Shut up.” Zoro actually jabs you in the arm with the hilt of one of his swords.

“Hey!”

“You didn’t hit your head when you fell, right?”

You scoff, mirthful shock coating your words, “Are you calling me stupid?”

“No—I mean, I made sure you didn’t hit your head when you fell.”

It takes a while for his words to click in your brain, and when it does—Oh. You turn your head to look at him, cheek pressing into the hardwood floors. “Why can’t you just say you care about me like someone who isn’t emotionally constipated?”

Zoro scowls, crossing his arms across his chest and looking away like he’s a four-year-old child throwing a tantrum. “Is this what you woke me up for?” he grumbles.

You want to keep ribbing him, but you understand that Zoro is being defensive, so you take his cue and reroute the conversation. “No, actually—I wanted to ask you a favour.”

He turns back, scepticism raising his brows. “About Luffy?”

You open your mouth to ask how he knows, but you realise you had asked about your captain when you approached Zoro. “So you did ignore me,” you gasp, slightly maybe a lot offended.

“Yeah, of course I did—I was trying to sleep!” he shoots back.

It’s your turn to cross your arms over your chest and cast your gaze to the sky. “I can’t believe you.”

Zoro clicks his tongue before tapping your leg lightly with his foot. “What’d you need help with?”

“Nah,” you push out with a breath, “I don’t want your help anymore.”

“Fine,” Zoro says, yawning. “Go somewhere else—I’m trying to sleep.”

You slap his knee. “Oi.”

“What do you need, then?”

“I wanna kiss Luffy.”

A beat. Then, “And you’re telling me, because?”

“Because, Zoro,” you say, turning to face him again, “last time I tried, you called his attention to a Sea King and ran off with him.”

Zoro snorts. “So, go kiss him now.” He jerks his chin towards the deck where he, Usopp and Chopper are gathered. “He’s not busy.”

“It’s not that simple,” you intone, stretching out your words. “I can’t just do it out of nowhere, it has to be proper and—”

“Oh, kill me now,” Zoro whispers in exasperation. He deflects another one of your attacks, knocking your hand out of its trajectory. “If you wanted romantic, you should’ve gone to the Cook.”

“But he’s your best friend,” you reiterate. “You know him better than anyone here.”

Zoro sighs, long-sufferingly. “Have you tried talking to him?” he asks, tired.

“No?” Bewilderment laces your tone, falling in a heavy heap on the ground. “I’m not telling Luffy I want to kiss him.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s weird; I can’t just tell him, I just gotta do it.”

“Then do it—He’s right there.” Once again, he gestures towards your captain, as if you’re not already hyperaware of his presence.

“Not like that,” you hiss.

“Oh, my God,” Zoro grumbles. “Stop being difficult.”

“I’m not! I just need to you to help me—”

“I’m trying! You keep dismissing my solutions. It’s so easy, here, look—Luffy!”

Your heart jumps into your throat as Zoro hollers, and you leap forward to cover his mouth. You misjudge the distance, punching him in the cheek instead.

“What the fuck?” Zoro rears his head back, slapping your hand away.

“Shit, I’m so sorry—” You retract your offending limb, covering your mouth in shock. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, didn’t hurt,” he says, and you can tell he’s not just saying it to make you feel better. The man’s been through so much worse, and you both know it. “Just, what the fuck, though?”

“I didn’t mean to,” you lament. “I just—You yelled, and I was trying to stop you, but I—”

“What’s up?”

You didn’t scream.

You didn’t.

You just, got startled. Because it was Luffy. And he came out of nowhere. And if Zoro or Luffy said you screamed… well.

They don’t know what they’re talking about.

You whip around, heart hammering in your throat because you were just talking about kissing Luffy, and now the man is here, squatting in front of you, and you don’t know how much he may have overheard. “Nothing!” Your voice comes out high and nervous.

“Fucking—” Zoro sighs, nudging you towards Luffy with his calf because in your scramble to shut Zoro up, you’d landed on his leg. “Can you just ki—”

You’re more successful this time, shouting over the top of his words and slapping a hand to his mouth. “What the Hell is wrong with y—Ow!” You wrench your hand away at a sharp sting on your palm. “Did you just bite me?” At Zoro’s deadpan stare, you furrow your brows. “What kinda feral—?”

Behind you, Luffy laughs; so loud and carefree that your heart stutters in your chest.

You think you might pass out, but you turn to look at your captain because his joy is always a sight to behold.

“Wow,” Zoro muses aloud, “you are down ba—”

You jerk your elbow into Zoro’s stomach, cutting off his words. “Shut up!” you hiss.

“What were you guys talking about?” Luffy asks again when he settles down.

“Nothing,” you repeat, voice calmer.

Zoro rolls his eyes. “Really?”

“Except for the fact that Zoro is being a butthead,” you say pointedly.

“Butthead?” the butthead echoes.

“Ah.” Luffy nods sagely. “That sounds like Zoro.”

“Oi!”

You giggle, watching as Zoro grabs a sword and jolts the hilt towards Luffy’s face.

Luffy grabs the hilt to deflect it, but when Zoro pulls his weapon back, Luffy careens forward.

“Ah!” The shout is more from surprise than anything, Luffy’s knee colliding with your shin as he practically falls on you.

“Shit,” Zoro breathes.

“Oh.” Luffy scrambles himself off your leg. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you dismiss his concern. “That actually didn’t hurt, I’m fine.” You’re hefting yourself up with your elbows, expecting Luffy to move out of your way.

But he doesn’t.

And now you’ve almost pushed yourself up against his chest.

And he’s looking at you so earnestly your cheeks are flushing. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he presses.

You nod, throat thick. Body warm. Your eyes dart down to his lips. The urge to kiss him rises tenfold. Maybe you could just do it. No fancy situation, no set up. Just… this. With him hovering over you because it just happened that way. Staring at you with concern swimming in his pupils.

“So, can I go now?” Zoro pipes up from behind you.

You startle, bumping a shoulder into Luffy’s chin.

Luffy recoils, effectively severing the moment.

“I am so sorry!” you gasp, reaching out to cradle his head. “Oh God, are you okay?”

Luffy nods in your hands, chuckling lightly. “’M fine.”

“Zoro, you can’t just do that!” you hiss at him.

“I have been here the whole time,” he deadpans. “But it seems I’ve done my job, so I’m gonna g—”

Luffy tilts his head. “What job?”

“Nothing!” you yell before Zoro can answer, letting go of Luffy like you’ve been burnt. “Nothing.” You slide out from between the two of them and clamber to your feet. “You take your nap,” you say to Zoro, “and you can go back to—” You signal towards Usopp and Chopper, “playing, I don’t know.” You smile at Luffy even though you don’t really feel it. “I’ll go.” You depart before the two of them can say anything to you.

“You were too much of a butthead,” Luffy says in a low enough voice that you know he’s not talking to you.

There’s the sound of something hard hitting something fleshy.

“How’s this my fault?” Zoro retaliates.

You duck into your room before you can hear if their banter escalates to sparring.

two

There’s a stabbing pain in your side, but you ignore it in favour of running across the rubble—or at least, try to. The sharp ache is all encompassing, and you’re pretty sure you’re bleeding out as well.

But right now, it’s of no matter.

What is of matter, though, is the fact that Luffy is on the other side of this debris, and you need to get to him.

You crest the peak and start down the slope towards the ground, towards your captain wobbling on his feet, bruised and ruffled. “Luffy!”

He turns when you call out to him, face lighting up when he catches sight of you.

You’re practically tripping over your own feet to make it over to him, teeth gritting at the jabs that lance through your ribs.

He crashes into your body when you enter his personal space, your legs faltering under the unanticipated weight.

You catch yourself on your knees, holding in the gasp that wants to escape because him jarring into you didn’t help. You wrap your arms beneath his shoulders to keep him up. “Hey,” you breathe out, chest releasing some of the air that had been trapped in there at the thought of your captain in peril. “You okay?” You’re frantically pawing at his face, thumbs swiping at the blood and cuts.

Luffy nods, a soft smile pulling at his lips. “’M good,” he manages to answer around you pulling on his skin. “Are you?”

“Yeah.” Satisfied with your inspection—his wounds are shallow and will heal up at a rate that still shocks you—relief pools into your stomach. “We’re good, we won.”

He furrows his brows, eyes scanning your face before they rest down your body. “You’re hurt,” he states.

“It’s fine.” You shake your head, hiding a wince because, yeah, it does hurt, but you don’t want him to fuss over you when he looks like this. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’re bleeding,” he reiterates, cupping a hand over your wound.

“Ah!” You shrink away from his touch, unbalancing both you and him because he had been essentially leaning on you for support.

Luffy circles his arm around you, righting you before you topple backwards, taking him down too. “You’re hurt,” he repeats, voice soft.

You stare at him, face so close to yours that you can see his eyelashes. You’re so pressed up against him that you feel him breathing on your chest, every rise and fall in tandem with yours.

His heart is beating quickly—or maybe it’s yours.

It probably is yours.

He’s so close to you, and your brain feels like mush; lightheaded and echoey. Your ears thunder with the sound of your own heart. Your breaths catch in your chest.

“We should get you to Chopper,” he murmurs. He looks behind you, over the debris, where the rest of the crew should be.

A part of your brain knows it’s urgent, but the other part can’t stop staring at his lips as he speaks. “Luffy,” you utter.

He snaps his focus back to you, gaze darting between your eyes. “What?”

You shift your weight onto his, and he takes it easily, tightening his arm around you. You can feel your breath blow back on your face with how hard you’re breathing onto Luffy’s. Your head fills more and more with cotton as you careen towards his lips.

You black out before you make it.

three

After the fiasco of employing Zoro’s assistance, you decide that he actually isn’t much help at all. So the next best thing is to go to Robin. Because she’s clever, and smart.

You sit her down in the quiet of the aquarium and tell her about your dilemma, and about Zoro’s ridiculous suggestion of ‘just asking Luffy,’ and how nothing you’ve tried has worked.

She laughs at the end of your recollection, a soft thing that she hides in her palm before standing up. “Come with me,” she says.

You follow her, recognising the walk to the library as you’re halfway there.

She settles you down at the table before disappearing between some shelves, to, presumably, find a book. When she returns, a light in her eye, you know she’s found something good. “It’s Christmas soon,” she says as though it’s a suggestion.

“Okay?” you ask, bemused. 

She chuckles softly, rifling through the pages to find the spread she wants and places it on the desk, tilting it so it’s upright for you to read. “Mistletoe.”

You look down at the page, a drawing of said plant on display. “Uh-huh.”

“It’s tradition,” she begins, “for people to kiss when they’re caught under a mistletoe together.”

You glance up at her. “Oh. So, we just have to get some mistletoe,” you say. The plan sounds easy enough.

But.

“Where, exactly, are we gonna get some mistletoe?”

“Next time we stop by an island, I suppose,” she muses quietly. “It’s a Christmas tradition,” she elaborates, “so at this time of year, people will be selling these everywhere.”

“Great—thank you.” You already feel much better about her advice than you did with Zoro’s. You lift the page between your fingers, pulling the paper. 

Arms sprout from the table, clutching at your wrist.

“What,” Robin says, a harsh lilt to her tone, “are you doing?”

“I just need to know what it looks like.”

“You’ve seen what it looks like,” she continues in the same voice.

“Yeah, but I’m not gonna remember it once we get to an island.”

“So, you decide to vandalise my book?”

“I’m not vandali—Ow, ow!” You let go of the page as she tightens her hold around you. “Okay, I made a mistake,” you cry.

The arms disappear. “I’ll buy it for you,” she resumes the conversation like nothing happened. “You can find some place to put it afterwards.”

You feel like you got whiplashed. “Okay,” you whisper, confused. “Thank you?”

It’s another three days before the ship docks at a small island, and Robin comes back with two sprigs of mistletoe. She hands one to you, keeping the other ‘just in case.’ You don’t really know what that means, but at this point, you know well enough to just leave her and her property alone.

“Where’s a good place to put this?” you ask, dangling the twig between your fingers.

“Where would Luffy spend most of his time?”

You sigh. 

You burst into the kitchen, having checked through the windows to make sure it was devoid of your captain first.

Sanji looks up at your sudden entrance, scraping carrots into a bowl. “Dinner’s almost ready,” he informs you absently. He returns to cutting the vegetables. “Probably start cooking in ten minutes.”

“That’s not why I’m here.”

That piques his interest, the blond looking up again. “What’s up?” he asks, attention now more evenly split between the food prep and you.

“I…” You glance out the windows, as though talking about Luffy would summon him. “Need your help with something.”

“Mine?”

“Yeah.” You approach the counter where he’s working, sitting on a stool opposite him. “I need to put this,” you lift the sprig higher so he can see, “somewhere in here.”

Sanji stares at the plant. “Mistletoe?”

“Yes, see.” You tell him about Robin’s ingenious plan to help you kiss Luffy. And how Sanji knows the kitchen better than anyone, and knows where Luffy lingers the most.

Sanji lets out a sharp breath of amusement through his nose. “Okay.”

“Great! Just—not now. Christmas is in five days, so—”

“I got it,” Sanji says. “Keep it safe ‘til then.”

“Exactly, thank you!”

The following week is busy; the crew gathering to decorate the Sunny, and making quick stops onshore to find gifts for one another. Between draping garland and wrapping presents, you find yourself migrating to the kitchen a lot.

It’s not that you don’t trust Sanji.

But.

This is really important to you, and you don’t know if he’ll prioritise it the same. You make sure the mistletoe is still alive and fresh. Hidden somewhere out of sight and not easily disposed of if someone else were to help out in the kitchen. Most days, you volunteer yourself to assist, just so you know another crew member won’t find it, and then no embarrassing explanation would have to ensue.

It’s easier that way.

“Good morning,” Sanji greets, already anticipating your arrival with a cup of tea.

“Hey.” You take a sip before putting the beverage down. “Is—”

“Yep,” he says, already taking out the tin from the cupboard and sliding it across the countertop to you. “Same place as it was last night, when you checked. And the time before that, and before that too. And—”

“Alright,” you snap, no heat in your tone. “I’m just…” You shrug, at a loss for why you feel so obsessive over a piece of tree.

“Nervous?”

You sigh. “Yeah.”

Sanji pushes the tea over to your hands, and you smile at him. “How about, no more looking at it today.”

You frown. “I don’t think that’s gonna help.”

“Did looking at it help?”

You close the lid and pass it back to him. “No,” you admit quietly.

“I don’t think you’re stressed about the mistletoe disappearing,” Sanji says, voice incredibly soft as he addresses you.

You hum, tapping your fingers on the sides of the cup. “I just… want it to work.” Because if it doesn’t…

If it doesn’t…

That’s not something you want to think about.

“It will.” And he says it with so much certainty that for a second, you believe it too.

You don’t check up on the mistletoe for the rest of the day, but you do still help out in the kitchen.

You’re staring at the counter, where you know the mistletoe is. You know it’s there. You saw it this morning. Sanji let you put it back in there before closing the cupboard and declaring that place off-limits to you. And no one else had come in, other than to eat, and that was over here by the dining tables, not over there.

There’s still a gnawing feeling in your stomach, but you haven’t seen it. So, what if? What if someone came through, looking for something else, and in their search, saw it and took it?

“Are you okay?”

You blink back to the present, snippets of conversation tuning back into focus like a radio. Right. Dinner with the crew. Everyone’s here, eating and having fun. 

Sanji is peering at you from across the table, waiting for your answer.

“Yeah,” you say. “Just—distracted.” You look back down to your plate, surprised to find that nothing’s been taken from it.

“Do you want to check it?”

You purse your lips in thought. It would help.

But.

“No.” You shake your head. “I’ve already gone most of the day, right?” you say. “No point caving now.”

“If you’re sure,” Sanji relents. At your nod, he sighs. “Can you just eat something?”

You stick your spoon into the rice.

A chicken drumstick is placed on your plate, and when you follow the hand attached to it, you realise it belongs to Luffy, sitting on the far end of the table.

“You look sad,” he calls across, retracting his arm.

“I’m fine,” you dismiss his concern, turning back to your food. “Thanks.”

The rest of the crew watches, astounded at their captain’s generosity, and your lack of response.

When Christmas finally arrives, you’re not sure how you feel. Yes, it’s Christmas, so you’re excited. But that means putting up the mistletoe and finally bringing your plan to fruition. And that part, you’re more reluctant about.

You’re the first one in the kitchen aside from Sanji, and he looks up, smiling at you.

“Door,” he says.

You turn, watching it close. “What?”

“The mistletoe,” he reiterates. “Put it up last night.”

“Oh!” With the new information, you tilt your head back. It sways gently from the door’s motions. “That’s the best place for it?”

“Luffy comes and goes upwards of twenty times a day.” Sanji sounds sure of himself. “If there’s any place that he frequents a lot, it’s that door.”

“Thanks, Sanji,” you say, beelining for the tea he’s left for you on the counter.

Sanji starts to crack eggs into a mixing bowl, and you stare at your drink. “How are you feeling?”

You shrug. “Still nervous, but… not much else I can do about it.”

“Just.” He takes a whisk from the drawer. “Don’t think about it too much.”

Scoffing, you take a sip of your tea. “I really don’t think there’s anything else for me to think about, right now.”

“What do you want for breakfast?” he asks.

“Whatever you’re making,” you say absently, “I don’t mind.” You’re two-thirds of the way through your drink when you speak again. “What if it doesn’t go right?”

“How?”

“Like, what if…?” You swallow something thick. “What if he doesn’t want to kiss me? Then I’ve just—”

Luffy crashes through the door, startling you out of your conversation with Sanji. He scans the kitchen, face lighting up when he makes eye contact with you, bounding over. “What are you doing in here?” he asks, plopping himself down in the chair you’re standing next to.

“Nothing,” you deflect, because you don’t really want to tell him that you were lamenting to Sanji about whether he’d kiss you or not. But your answer is suspicious too, so you retract your earlier statement with what you hope is a carefree shrug.

(It’s not.)

“I was helping out with food and stuff.” You turn to the eggs already beaten laid out in front of Sanji. Shit.

Luffy hums, a slight dejection to the note. “Come outside,” he says instead.

You pause, trying to think of an excuse. “But we gotta make breakfast, then there’s the big Christmas dinn—”

“But I miss you,” he says, frowning.

Oh.

“We donʼt hang out much, anymore.”

You blink, gulping your dangerously loud heart back into your chest. It’s suddenly warm in the kitchen even though the ovens and stoves are off. “Okay,” you croak.

Luffy beams at you, and your breath sweeps away. He grabs your hand to lead you out, and your palm feels clammy in his.

As you’re leaving, Sanji clears his throat.

Luffy stops, turning around. “What?” he asks.

You turn too, a murderous glare pointed at the blond. Shut the fuck up, you will towards him.

Sanji flickers his gaze over your heads.

“What?” Luffy repeats.

“Nothing,” you say quickly, trying to step further onto the deck to steer him out of the kitchen.

Luffy purses his lips, standing his ground. He’s always been stronger than you, so your attempts to move him are rendered futile because he’s not cooperating. “No, I wanna know,” he presses. There’s a pout to his lips, and you can’t help but think he looks cute like this.

“It’s just.” You swallow thickly, tilting your head up to look at the top of the door frame.

Luffy follows your eyes, zeroing in on the lone green tendril hanging off the door. “Ah,” he says.

You watch him, trepidation drying your tongue.

“Why’d Sanji put food in such a weird place?”

“What?”

He shoots his arm towards it, clutching the plant in his hands—leaves and all.

And shoves it in his mouth.

“No!”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sanji yells, vaulting over the counter. He grabs Luffy by the back of the neck. “Spit it out!”

“Luffy, that was mistletoe,” you say when you’ve gotten over the initial shock. Your hands are hovering over him, wanting to help but not sure how because Sanji is already there, and you’d only be in the way.

“So?” he manages to say around Sanji trying to pull his mouth open.

“Mistletoe is poisonous, you dumbass!” Sanji growls, realising that it’s already been swallowed. “We need to get you to Chopper.”

“But I feel fine,” Luffy protests.

You usher your captain out the door, heartbeat reverberating loudly in your throat. “No, please just—C’mon.” You walk around Luffy when you’ve exited the kitchen, pulling on his hand to lead him to the infirmary. You look at Sanji over Luffy’s shoulder. “You go…” You gesture back inside the kitchen. “I got this.”

“You sure?” Sanji asks.

You nod. “There’s a lot to do for today.” You turn back around, glancing at the rest of the deck. “Chopper!” you call out to him when you see the reindeer with Usopp and Nami.

Chopper darts his head up, looking at you. “Yeah?”

“We need you in here!” you say, pointing your thumb back towards the door of the doctor’s office.

There’s clambering as Chopper disregards his prior activities—unwrapping presents, judging by the colours on the floor—to run over. “What happened?” he asks when he’s closer.

“I ate something,” Luffy says when you open the door. “Sanji said it was poisonous.”

“Mistletoe,” you interject before Chopper can panic too much. You stand to the side, letting them in first.

“Mistletoe?” Chopper repeats.

“It’s… a long story.” 

plus one

Chopper releases Luffy from the infirmary after coming to the conclusion that the captain’s run-in with Magellan has heightened his tolerance for poison. So eating a twig of mistletoe will do nothing more to him than upset his stomach, which should pass on its own.

After the little doctor confirms this, you breathe out a sigh of relief.

Luffy turns to you; a smile on his face, a comment on his tongue of how you’d been so worried over nothing, but—

You’re exiting the room, door shutting behind you.

“Hey!” Luffy scrambles off the bed, sidestepping Chopper with a quick ‘Thanks!’ before dashing outside to find you.

You’re faster than anticipated, halfway to the dorms.

But Luffy has abilities that you don’t, so he stretches his arms, hooking his palm around the mast to slingshot himself forward, landing in front of you with a grunt.

“Fuck!” you hiss, jumping backwards, eyes wild with his sudden appearance.

“Sorry!” Luffy is quick to placate you.

“What the Hell?”

“Didn’t mean to scare you—What’s wrong?” He interrupts himself with the question because thatʼs more important right now, and knowing how the two of you like to banter, you’d gloss over how you’re feeling in order to keep teasing him about startling you. 

“What?”

“There’s something wrong with you,” Luffy says, because he hasn’t been seeing much of you this past week, and he thought that maybe you just wanted time for yourself to recharge, but you were always in the kitchen with Sanji, instead of hanging out with him like you usually did, and that—

He pushes that aside.

Not important right now.

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” you say quietly.

“Yes, there is.” He’s insistent, knowing that whatever it is is bothering you.

“It’s just… I wanted to—” You sigh. “Nothing,” you dismiss. Then, “It’s stupid.”

“What’s stupid about it?”

You pause, thinking about his question. “I… don’t know.”

“So, it can’t be stupid.”

Your lips quirk up, a brief thing that lights up your face for a millisecond, but Luffy watches, enamoured, because he hasn’t seen it in so long.

“It’s…” You shrug, hesitation dancing across your features. You stare up at him, and he really wishes your eyes weren’t apprehensive.

“Tell me,” he presses gently.

“I want to kiss you.”

“Oh.” He suddenly finds it hard to breathe. “And that makes you upset?” The thought of that squeezes his chest.

“No, no! That doesn’t make me upset, it’s just, I’ve been trying to kiss you for the past month, but things would happen, and I couldn’t do it, and then we came up with this plan with the mistletoe, but you—”

He stretches his arms, wrapping them around your waist to pull you towards him. He leans down and seals his mouth over yours, effectively silencing you.

You gasp in surprise, but the noise is swallowed up, lips chasing after yours. He’s squeezing you to him, waist pulled in so close he can barely think straight.

You wrap your arms around his neck, urging him closer, and Luffy tilts his head, fingers breaching the hem of your shirt to caress your skin. You whimper, so delightfully desperate that Luffy pushes against you, tongue swiping across your bottom lip. 

He loves the noise—the neediness lacing your tone that he’s only ever heard you use towards him. Every time he’s been unimaginably close to you, he’d notice the way you’d stare at him, full of want and unadulterated longing that it fogs his brain and tightens his heart down to his stomach.

And how you’d whisper his name, like you did back in the forest, even though you were bleeding out. You were staring at his lips and he thought you were going to kiss him, and he realised that in that moment, he wanted to, too. And he would’ve. If you hadn’t passed out immediately after.

Then after he’d taken you to Chopper and you recovered, you pulled away, secluding yourself in the kitchen with Sanji, pretty much all day.

But, now.

Luffy gets to kiss you. He giggles into your mouth, something light bubbling away in his chest.

You pull away from him, breathing heavily. “Why did you do that?”

“Because you wanted to.”

“But did you want to?”

He thinks about you; his crewmate, nakama, friend. Someone he trusts with his life. Had gone through the biggest ups and downs of his life with you. Then he thinks about kissing you, of how many times he’d wanted to in the past, even before the forest. “Yeah.” And because he can, he pulls you in for another kiss, and he feels you smiling against his lips.

When you part this time, it’s his turn to ask a question. “Why didn’t you just kiss me when you wanted to?”

“Because it’s weird,” you say as if it’s common sense. “You can’t just kiss a friend out of nowhere.”

“But we’re not just friends. We’re… different.” 

“Different?” you echo.

“The way I feel about you, and us, it’s different from how I feel about the others. It’s just different with you.”

You swallow and Luffy watches your throat move. “So, you’re saying, I could have kissed you, at any time, in the past few months, and you would have been okay with it?”

Luffy nods. “Yep.”

You purse your lips. “Oh, dear Lord,” you mutter under your breath, “Zoro was right.”

“About what?”

“He said I should’ve just asked you—I thought he was being daft.”

Luffy laughs, and you smile up at him, drinking in the noise. “You’re silly.”

You nod, before double taking as you catch sight of something over his shoulder.

Luffy looks up too.

There’s another sprig of mistletoe dangling from under the mast, metres high above your head.

“Don’t,” you say, before Luffy can react, “eat it this time.”

[shalomniscient]

been thinking about a scenario where ptn women would be right under you—doing hip thrusts while you act as a weight they are carrying (like yk those gym stuffs) and it's making me kick my feet like oml pls never stop doing that u're making me blush 😍😍😍

as shalom's no. 1 fan (and wife), she's my no. 1 person who i imagine doing these stuff to me and im not complaining at all 💯

anon i’m so sorry i was with you 100% until you said shalom was the one doing that to you, instead of you to her 😭😭😭 she will always be my limp noodle cola gummy little meow meow i fear and i cannot for the life of me see her doing even a single push-up. love that for her though, it lets me fulfill my monkey brain desires to be the one who carries all the groceries from the car and gets rewarded with a kiss 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[manicpixiedckgirl]

i am more convinced than ever that cosmic horror writers are just "some guy who also happened to glance at a total eclipse and saw the eye of god". like unless you've seen a total eclipse, you don't understand, you can't, i can't really explain it to you. you're sitting with your girlfriend, in a field. with a group of complete strangers that includes astrology wackjobs, menonites, lesbians from Ohio, and an old man who will later tell you a joke about teddy bears. and through these crappy cardboard glasses, you're watching a tiny yellow dot in the sky, the sun with almost all of the light blocked out, get slowly covered by this black disk. at first, it kinda just looks like the sun is turning into pacman through the glasses, but the sun is so bright you don't notice a difference as the moon moves across it. slowly though, even though it's a completely cloudless day, it starts to look like it's a little overcast, and the whole thing goes from cool to unnerving. it turns from day to night in the space of about 20 minutes or so, speeding up as it goes, and the primal part of your brain that knows what wildfires are and knows to run starts kicking and screaming. it knows whatever is happening is getting closer. the yellow dot is now a half moon, but it's the sun, and the haze that's normally around the sun that makes it way too bright to even think about looking at is fading. this whole time you've been looking directly at it, through the glasses, but now the heat of it against those glasses is strangely absent. the world looks strange too, like there's a filter over everything. everything is bluer, richer, deep. you feel giddy, knowing you're about to see the thing you've been looking forward to, try to quiet the monkey brain. before, suddenly, it starts to get dark. the street lights start to pop on in the corner of your eye. the sliver gets smaller and smaller. people get quiet. traffic stops. and then, when totality finally arrives and that sliver disappears, you hear two things. the birds stop singing. and people scream. through the glasses, there's a black dot with a white halo. you cant take it anymore. you glance over your glasses, just a peak. hanging in a sky dark, enough to see stars in, hangs a black orb, wreathed in white flame. where you know the sun should be is this indescribable inversion of reality. it's like the sun has been swallowed from the inside. and you laugh, you cry. in that moment i think i believed in god. you try not to look at it, but you can't not look at it. if i go blind, you think, this is what sight i had sight for. it's pure momentary insanity. and then as suddenly as it started it's over. and you have to go back to work tomorrow. that'd make anybody write some fucked up fetish horror is all im saying

[lilveeblog]

girls night

the ladies of the bau have a girls night but jj’s regressed mind has other plans

1.7k words

inspired by the recent women of the bay’s adventures !

Emily climbed in first, her wine glass fullest and she slid into the warm water.

“Oh it’s so nice.” She practically moaned, closing her eyes and taking in the feeling. Penelope was next, eager to get in the water.

“Hm hm hm, this is what I’m talking about babies.”

Then JJ, she slid in next to Emily, making the girls laugh.

“Can’t get away from your girlfriend hm?” Tara asked, JJ stuck out her tongue in reply and settled next to her girlfriend. Emily slid one hand around her waist and kissed her cheek. JJ had had it tough at work the last few weeks but they didn’t want to talk about it. Strictly no work talk! Tara got in last, sitting herself opposite JJ and smiled widely.

“We deserve this.”

“Oh we do,” Emily replied.

“To the badass bau ladies!” Penelope cheered, holding up her glass.

The group chorused in reply and the familiar clink was heard in the hot tub.

The night went on, the women slid in and out, snacked and drank and most of them were feeling quite drunk, apart from the smaller blonde in the corner. All she felt was small. It was taking her longer to get the jokes, to be engaged and she was finding the bubbles a lot more playful than relaxing. The other women laughed whilst JJ spun her fingers through her bubbles and pulled them around her body, creating a border for her castle. Tara watched on, picking up on the quiet girl's behaviour. She left her too it, aware of what was happening but not ready to take her away from the fun just yet. She simply kept a closer eye on the slipping girl.

“What do you think Jay?” Emily asked, slurring her words. She slid over in the seat and wrapped both her arms around her girlfriend. But in the process, broke her girl's bubble circle. JJ let out a mighty whine and pushed Emily away from her and scrambled for more bubbles. Emily sat up immediately and looked at the other two.

“She slipped about half an hour ago,” Tara whispered.

“And you knew?” Emily asked her. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“She’s content, happy, I didn’t want to make a scene of it,” Tara explained.

“Okay okay,” Emily said and leaned back, assessing JJ.

“Jay?” She asked. JJ ignored her, grumpy that she ruined her castle walls.

“Hey, little monkey,” Emily insisted and kicked her lightly under the water. JJ groaned and moved away, kicking her caregiver back harder.

“Ow. JJ!” Emily groaned.

“Eave me lone,” JJ whispered and turned away from the group.

“Do you need to go to bed?”

“Nooo! Jus payin!” JJ whined.

“Okay Jay,” Emily sighed, “if you need the toilet or want to go to bed you just tell me, okay?” JJ didn’t respond.

“Yeah, no peeing in my pool missy,” Garcia teased and JJ let out a little giggle.

JJ sat in her corner, playing with the bubbles but she couldn’t help notice how the other women had changed their conversation and their looks in her direction had become more frequent, she felt awful. She was fighting in her mind, she didn’t want to be small, not now. But she couldn’t help it, she was tired and stressed and exhausted from all the work and everything. As much as it was finally time for a girls night as they all get the time off, she hadn’t been able to slip in weeks- not properly at least and this was going to be her only chance and her brain just did it automatically. But she wanted to get involved in their jokes and them laughing and the wine. She felt alone and annoying. She did need a wee but didn’t want to tell them. She wanted to go to bed but didn’t want to put them out. She wanted to cuddle and nurse but she also desperately wanted to be big. Why was her brain so silly and stupid?

“Oh! Toilet time!” Penelope announced suddenly, jumping up. JJ’s head lifted too, she could sneak off with P and go pee and come back and she wouldn’t be upsetting anyone - right?

“Pen! Wait!” Emily said, JJ looked at her. Emily looked at her too and nodded her head.

“Go with Penny, you’re okay.” JJ didn’t hesitate, she jumped out the pool, being careful not to slip and caught up with Penelope. She was holding her hand out for her but JJ quickly crossed her arms. She was a big girl, she didn’t need to hold hands.

“Okay grumpy girl,” Penelope laughed.

“She hates herself for this,” Emily sighed when her girl was out of earshot.

“What do you mean?” Tara asked.

“That she’s slipped, she’s angry at herself for it. I can see the cogs in her head.”

“Why don’t you say something?”

“Because if I say something she’ll get more upset with me, I just have to be there for her.”

“Why don’t we call it a night in the tub and go inside? It’s getting cold anyway,” Tara suggested.

“That’s a good shout, come on.”

The pair headed inside with the wine and their towels and waited for Penelope and JJ to emerge from the bathroom. Emily decided to set up a little corner for her Jay. She wanted her to still enjoy herself and have fun but didn’t want to stop their fun at the same time and didn’t want JJ to feel worse than she felt currently.

JJ came out shaking her hands in her own world, she completely didn’t notice the women now sat inside.

Emily snuck over behind her and grabbed her hips, pulling her up for a cuddle.

“Gotcha!” she cheered and JJ screamed and began to laugh as Emily began tickling her sides.

“MAMA STOP!” JJ screamed and kicked out her legs as soon as she could. Emily smiled at her little one and JJ huffed.

“Not small,” she grumbled and crossed her arms.

“It’s okay to be,” Emily said and helped JJ off the floor.

“Not.”

“It is Jay, no one minds.”

“I mind,” JJ grumbled and stomped off to the corner. She sat in the corner Emily had made for her and kept her arms crossed defiantly. She was grumpy and did not want to be disturbed.

“Okay, you just sit there and let me know if you need anything, okay baby?”

“Whatever mama,” JJ replied, turning away. She grabbed her iPad and headphones and slid them on her head ready to submerge herself in Peppa Pig, although she was definitely not small.

About an hour passed and the girls looked over their JJ in the corner, she was engrossed in her show but they were ready for sleep. Unfortunately, Emily did not bring any of her little nighttime things, not even her paci which meant it would be a nursing night- if JJ settled enough to allow it.

Penelope and Tara went to the bathroom first to shower and get ready for bed whilst Emily attended to the little one.

“Hey sweet girl, you okay?” Emily asked. She slipped the headphones off JJ’s head and JJ whined loudly.

“What wan mama?” she’d slipped a lot further and it made Emily smile, the way her little voice came out.

“It’s bedtime. Do you want to shower?” Emily asked. JJ thought about it for a moment and tapped Emily’s chest.

“Wif wo!” she said and climbed out of her nest and into her caregivers lap. Emily was so glad the hour to herself in her own world helped her slip properly, slip enough to not care about anything else.

“Of course, monkey. That's fine. Now we have to wait for Tara and Garcia to finish as they are hogging the showers but then we can jump in and get ready. “

“Paci?” JJ asked, leaning back into her caregiver's hold and looking up at the raven-haired woman.

“Mama didn't bring it, baby, I'm sorry.”

JJ huffed and turned back around with a pout on her face.

“But we can nurse all night if you like.”

“In here?”

“Yeah angel, the girls don't mind.” JJ blushed at the thought of the other woman seeing her doing something so vulnerable but knew they truly didn't mind. And plus, Tara had seen it before.

Emily got JJ showered and ready for bed in her pyjamas and they snuggled up on one of the pull-out sofas.

“Mama, mama,” JJ cooed and reached for Emily under the covers, with the fan on it was cool and nice which all the women appreciated.

“Mama’s here,” Emily smiled and grabbed her girl's hands. It wasn't long until JJ was latched to her nipple, nursing. Penelope walked past and cooed softly- despite the blanket over her face, it was still a cute sight.

“Pen, can we have a towel for her to sleep on?” Emily asked, thinking in case of accidents.

“In case she has an accident?” Tara asked.

“Oh I can do better than a towel for that,” Penelope said softly and ran to her bedroom. Emily was grateful they both understood but felt the glare from her little one.

“Its’ to keep the sofa safe from your little bladder,” Emily teased and tickled JJ’s side a little. JJ wiggled under the covers and pushed the hand away, still keeping her latch on Emily’s nipple. Nursing was her favourite comfort.

Penelope returned after a few minutes with a waterproof bedsheet. Emily smiled and they worked as a four to put it on. JJ climbed straight back under the covers and reached for Emily, ready to go to sleep - the whole might have exhausted her.

It wasn't long before she was fast asleep, the other women chatted a little more about the smaller girl, endearingly. JJ, big or small was always the most protected of the group, the most loved and cared for. They all adored their sweet thing and wanted to keep it special- even on girls’ night.

[hanafubukki]

Hi ! Here cottage life with Lilia and the Knight of Dawn as Silver mom in the past Anon (I think I will need to find myself an smiley-)

First, thank you ! I'm happy this idea please you and other people 😊

But yes this OT3 is so so cute- My brain run free for it since then.

The relationship those three have...it's just melting my heart 🥹 The perfect trio. Lilia is a bit jalous that the first baby isn't from him -bat boi have his pride- but he just love Silver so much it doesn't matter much 🥺 Little funny fact about Lilia/Knight bromance: before Silver birth, him and the Knight (need to find a proper surname for him-) had a discussion. Like they didn't know who was the father between them, they had a unique way to deal with it: after the baby birth- when who is the father will be more clear- the guy that isn't the bio dad would name the baby. So no one would felt left away from the family.

Lilia blessed the baby at birth, and like in Chapter 5, the baby hair turned white. So Silver's name was back like that 😂

So much things about them...like, rumors runs fast thanks to the forest fairies. But the little family -except when Lilia is called to the castle- don't go often outside to not scare any fairy. So...one day, a toddler Silver ran away to the famous "Castle" were "Dada Lilia" was kept against his will by "This cruel brat of a Princess who want him to "babysit" (Something really cruel and scary from Dada Lilia word-). So Meleanor first encounter with Lilia rumored "son" was this child -monkey- pleading her to -politely- give his Dada Lilia back.

And this is only some funny story 😭 The guilt our time traveler could felt is also interresting. Silver was born and will grow up way before what he was supposed to do. Did this child is -will be- even the same Silver she knew ? And he will never met Sebek in this life. Will this child will be ressentful ? What kind of right does she have to change history -fate- like that ? What will happen if she dissapear, like she came- and go back to her time ? What will happen to her new found family, her husbands, her child ?

But a single giggle of her lovely silver haired baby is enough to make her worries dissapear in a smile. How scary it is, to be so happy at the point you fear the day it will be end.

(References: Fanfic, Ask 1, Ask 2)

Hello Cottage Life Anonie 🌻🌺💚

I’m labeling you Cottage Life Anonie until you find a emoji or nickname you prefer ☺️🌺 please feel free to choose whichever that makes you comfortable and happy.

Anonie you have no idea how happy I was when I saw you in my inbox, I was already kicking my feet in excitement ☺️🌺

Hehehe my evil plan of getting more people to like this OT3 is working 😈🙌 lolol I’m really happy that you and others like it. It makes me happy and I’m glad I can share these thoughts with others who like it too.

A knight of dawn x reader x lilia vanrouge pairing has so much potential and routes that I’m just thrilled at all the possibilities 💞💞

Lilia being jealous of the first child not being his is adorable. I can just see him make that face that says he’s pouting but denying it 😂 but he adores Silver so much and he’s also your child, so how could he no love him? Baby Silver with his glittering eyes and you just being so loving with him is perfect.

I adore that agreement Knight and Lilia had about naming the child. It’s so sweet and smart! And another way to include the mutual partner! No one is left out and everyone is loved 🥹 it’s so sweet!! (We need a name for Dawny, I hope we get one for him in twst 🙏)

Oh oh Anonie! Now that you mention the hair color change, some theorize (because of the sprite) that the upper layers of Knight’s hair is blond and the bottom layers are silver!! So if that’s the case, Lilia just turned Silver’s hair fully silver which is also what Dawny has on his lower tresses so this bromance keeps getting sweeter and the connection is still there 🥹

Absjsjshs tiny Baby Silver just toddling away to the castle to save his Dada Lilia like a true knight in shining armor!!! That’s so freaking adorable 🥹💞😭 I can imagine that the little fairies that love Silver and love mischief helped teleport him to the castle where he meets Meleanor and Lilia. You have this sweet child asking so nicely and the Queen’s heart just melts (she also adores his bravery). Meleanor then tries to smite Lilia because of the “bratty” comments 🤣🤣

Now I can imagine Meleanor require a weekly dinner with everyone, she can see Baby Silver, and if malleus is hatched, he can have a playmate. She can also meet the Knight and the Reader (not on the battlefield for once). It’s awkward at first but nothing that time and Silver’s bubbly laughter can’t fix 🥹💞

There’s so many angst potentials! Ahhhh the guilt of the time traveler wife. Silver not growing up with Sebek, not living in the same timeline ( would his friend be mama zigvolt in this case? 🤔).

Would wife tell the husbands about her situation? What happened in her timeline? I feel like if they knew they would understand, and their hearts would ache from the sacrifices she made to have them be happy. 🥹😭

I want to focus a little bit on the if she ever went back to the present, well, this new present that’s the same yet so different. I feel like if YN did go back she would at first be devastated once she realizes she’s back and what she lost. But but but, we have powerful fairies on our side. 👏🙌

I believe in this case, with the help of Meleanor and Lilia (maybe even Levan? He’s smart so he might know more about it). They would put both Silver and The Knight of Dawn to sleep until they are reunited with YN 🥹💚

So, this would solve a few problems actually! Sebek would be in the picture again, and we have Malleus and his parents, and of course, we have Lilia too.

Lilia could be waiting for YN at the spot she said she was teleported from the first time and they could have their reunion before waking the other two. 🥹💞💞 The reunion would be so sweet between the four. Lilia was waiting but at least he had his sister and baby malleus and the rest of his family and friends while he waited. He can go to that cottage and relive memories and remind himself of his loves.

The way this OT3 AU has a grip on me 😭💞💚

Anonie, Anonie, I am shaking you.

“How scary it is, to be so happy at the point you fear the day it will be end.” This line!! This line!! Oh my heart. 😭💞💞

Thank you for sending this in Anonie 💚🌺, ahhh I’m enjoying this so much and my mind is whirling with so many possibilities. You’re my partner in crime now ☺️🌺

[muzzlemouths]

two of us

Moon centric / Wordcount: 4219



Moon knows something is wrong within the first ten minutes of your shift.  When your heavy footfall reaches the daycare and you enter through the doors, half-drained caffeinated beverage of choice in hand, looking like an underpaid actor who mistakenly stumbled away from the set of the newest zombie movie right down to the miserable circles beneath your eyes.

In fact, the only thing distinguishing you from someone with a taste for brains is the fact that, until this point, you were somehow still acting in a somewhat functional manner — signing papers, directing customers, and the like — either by way of miracle, or simply in desperation to keep your job. 

All of that falls apart, however, when your evening shift dips into graveyard shift territory, and sees you walking through those big, wooden doors and immediately buying a one way ticket to the floor. 

Certainly not due to the bone-deep exhaustion weighing down your every step, no siree! You choose to lay the blame of your fall on the stuffed toy you discover underfoot, evidently missed in the clean up process between day and night. 

Speaking of cleaning up, the toy is joined by a newfound stain of which the daycare carpet gobbles up like a hungry sponge, the last few swallows of your drink having spilled outside of its flimsy, polyethylene prison in your awkward descent to the floor. 

Worse still, you aren't the only one to notice. The distant ring of bells foreshadows Moon's presence, his familiar voice sounding above and beyond its usual agitation by the time he's enough within earshot to even hear what's being said. A mantra of "Clean up, clean up" hissed just under breath; a remnant of his coding that not even a virus can override.

"Nice to see you too," is how you end up greeting him that night, halfway to your feet again already, "don't get your hat in a twist, there was only a few drops left. I wouldn't have spilled it if this stupid toy wasn't here, anyway."

Not bothering to lift his gaze from the bottle of cleaning spray in his hand, and still diligently scrubbing the stain away with a rag in the other, Moon burns holes in the floor with a narrow eyed expression that implies he cares little for your excuses. "Clumsy, clumsy," he chides, "are you going to blame your tardiness on the toy as well?"

You stiffen in place, bristling around the shoulders, "I'm hardly more than a few minutes late," you defend, "I'd like to see you try to wrestle an entire roll of tickets out of a kid's mouth half an hour before closing. The mother was convinced I wanted him to choke, like I was actively trying to hand-feed her monkey of a child all the paper currency we had in stock. Fuck you!"

This earns you a chuckle, his amiability returning in the form of a shit eating grin. "Sounds like your job is becoming a running gag—" he finally looks in your direction, going quiet just as soon when he sees the state you're in. His smile disappears along with the expectation of a proper reaction for that terrible pun. "What's wrong?"

The abrupt switch to bonafide sincerity catches you off guard. Judging by the way his eyes immediately return to the floor, you think it surprises him, too. "Nothing," is all you manage in response. "I'm just a little tired. It's been a long day."

"Liar," he says. 

You bristle further. "Exactly what part of that is a lie? After the day I've had, I think it's more than fair of me to be a little tired."

"Tired, yes," he stands now with slow, methodical movements, discarding the rag in a laundry bin nearby and kicking the bottle aside so he can properly close the distance between you, "but not only a little." His eyes scan you up and down, judging the extent of damage like a bloodhound sniffing out its target, yet when he's already convinced himself of the answer he still bothers to ask the question, "When's the last time you slept?"

It's a trap. You know this, he knows this, but if you're lucky, he might still accept your word for it without too much of a fuss. "A few hours before my shift started," you lie, "I don't need a nap, Moon. Can we just drop it?"

He doesn't look convinced. Why would he? You're moving at the speed of someone who came here after crawling out of a grave six feet deep. 

Much to your surprise, however, he doesn't push it. Instead he answers you with a quiet nod and an expression you can't quite place, and shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his star adorned pants. "Are you doing rounds?” He asks, an odd tone to his voice, “I’ll join you.”

It’d be a lie to say you aren’t suspicious. Moon rarely if ever gave out free passes, especially when it came to this, and if he did it normally meant getting something out of it himself. There was something else at play here. Ironically, you’re too tired to give it much thought either way — and anyway, why look a gift horse in the mouth? Maybe he was just in a good mood.

“Actually, I’m playing the role of grease monkey tonight,” you correct him, “management wants me to repair a machine in the arcade.”

“You’re qualified for that?” He sneers.

“It’s just figuring out why the tickets aren’t dispensing,” you admit, words punctuated with a roll of your eyes, “they’re probably just stuck behind the machine door again. It’ll take, like, three seconds to fix.”

“And after?”

You answer him with a knitted brow, then a shrug, “That’s the only task I was given after checking the lights in here. I’m on the clock for another five hours, though, so I’m sure I’ll find something to do.” Then, somewhat begrudgingly, “Still care to join me?”

Moon answers you with a shrug of his own. “Might as well,” he grins, voice already dripping with sarcasm, “don’t want you falling asleep on the job.”

It’s impossible for your eyes to roll any further into the back of your head. “Fine,” you relent, sighing as you turn yourself back towards the exit. A shelf carrying pillows and blankets must be passed on your way out, forcing you to avoid eye contact with it lest you answer its siren call of comfort. “And don’t get in my way,” you add, “I want to get this over with quickly so I can spend the rest of my shift pretending I’m home already.”

He says nothing in reply, but you don’t miss the sound of bells that follows you out the door. It’s interrupted only briefly by another sound all together — the creak of metal, like an opening hatch, and then a solid click — shortly followed by more bells. You’re witness to nothing out of the ordinary in the quick glance over your shoulder. He smiles politely, too politely, and makes an expectant gesture for you to continue.

This is going to be a long night.

Moon shadows your heel from the rafters for the whole trek to the arcade, a presence which you do your best to pay no mind to. This approach to keeping your sanity intact works until it doesn’t, when you arrive to find your destination dark as the night sky, and the red glow following in your wake is suddenly accompanied by a voice — that is, a soft and audible hum. You know exactly what he’s doing.

With the escape of another groan, you retrieve the flashlight from your hip and head inside, resisting the urge to flashbang him with it. His only saving grace is the knowledge that doing so will only result in a whole lot of complaining and, frankly, you aren’t eager to encourage an already excessive bad habit of his. Besides, at this hour the DJ himself would be fast asleep on his stage, and you’d hate to wake him by enacting revenge on the little goblin above your head. 

Still, the humming is difficult to ignore and it only adds to the overstimulation already welling inside your brain, loud in the way only television static can be. In reality there’s no real noise to contest with it. The arcade itself is quiet as a morgue. There’s no reason you should be feeling overwhelmed… save for the lack of sleep, of course, but you aren’t about to admit to it with Moon’s eyes on your back.

It’s only a matter of time before these actions would have their consequences. Already, your world is starting to sway.

Well, not starting. Everything had been a little topsy-turvy in the last few hours before arriving for your shift. They say after so many days without sleep, the first thing you’ll start to see are spiders. You don’t see spiders, though. You see ghosts. Silhouettes of people in your peripheral vision which always happen to be turning a corner by the time you look their way. You hear voices that aren’t there, laughter that originates from no where in particular, and again, those damn bells. You’re starting to think those, too, are only a hallucination.

By the time you find the machine in question you’re already reaching a breaking point.

The song in his throat is familiar, but you can’t remember ever knowing its name. It’s a pretty tune, easy on the ears — soothing, even — when you had the energy to appreciate it. As it stands, you’re running on fumes. The gears in your brain are fatigued and barely in operation. When you kneel to unlock the machine’s door it’s an action done with great caution, because if you aren’t careful, you might just be persuaded into staying on the floor until your shift ends.

“Hey,” against your better judgment, you elect to offer Moon the briefest stint of your attention again in hopes that the conversation will help wake you up, “What are you doing up there?”

He falls silent. Then, with a cheeky grin you can hear but not see, “Staying out of your way.” He drops, the sound barely audible, coming to land in the space behind you. “That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“Not what I meant, smartass.” 

Your flashlight beams into the inner face of the machine and focuses in on the ticket dispenser. As suspected, its jammed. You exhale with a particularly exhausted groan and punch your key into a port dial, turning it to the east until the machine’s system roars to life. You only need to clear the tickets stuck in the slot’s exit in order to free the rest.

Moon’s unspoken question hangs in the air. Despite not hearing him come near, you can feel his presence like heat against the back of your neck.

“The humming,” you clarify, eyes still on the task at hand, “I don’t think I’ve heard you doing that before.”

The tickets squirm in place like a printer chewing on its own paper. You grasp onto its parchment tongue and draw the line of tickets towards your chest with a little angled wiggling until the accusing portion frees itself from the confines of the slot. The constipation of tickets spills out immediately after, drawing a breath of relief from your lips. The machine correctly offers five tickets, then ten, then fifteen. You shift on your knee to begin the painstaking act of standing back up.

The tickets stop.

“Don’t know what you mean,” replies Moon at the worst possible time, “I’m just making noise.”

You try to block out the ringing in your ears. The ghosts. The tick tick tick of a clock that moves through molasses as your body attempts to continue functioning on its meager amount of rest. Moon isn’t helping. If he said anything more to you, the only noise he’d be making is that of a system shutdown after you were through ringing his neck.

Back down to your knee, again, you take hold of the stub awkwardly sitting just outside of its narrow cage and recreate the action from before. A little wiggling, a little tugging. You’re decisively ignoring the robot behind you now. Or trying your best to, anyway. He isn’t exactly making it easy.

“Do you need some he—”

“I’ve got it!” You snap before he has a chance to finish, “Just go away and let me do my job.”

Your head thunders, a continues clap, clap, clap of tension akin to someone layering rubber bands on a melon until it pops. The tickets don’t retract with ease, this time, and the violent shake beginning in your hands makes the act that much harder. Is it this irritability that makes them tremble? Or is it the same reason behind your heavy, fluttering eyes, and the palpitations drumming against your ribcage like an animal trying to set itself free.

Stubbornly, you continue, now setting your face a short distance from the slot to get a better look and proceeding to slam your fist against the side. The mass of paper budges, little by little.

“I’m not sure you should—”

A final bang unleashes the trail of currency directly into your eye. The scream dies before it reaches your tongue, forced down again like rancid bile until all that escapes is a pathetic whimper, you chew viciously on the inside of your cheek to cope and angrily cup a hand over your wounded eye as the tickets continue to freely descend.

Something new occurs as a result of this bone-deep frustration. Your eyes wet around the corners, salty and warm. You ignore them desperately and move to stand.

The machine spits and hisses. The tickets stop once again.

This time you do scream, muffling the noise into the back of your free hand, both fists indenting crescents into the soft flesh of your palms. Inevitably, the sound of Moon’s bells reaches your back. “Don’t,” you growl, not having the patience for any of his expected games.

He edges closer despite your demands. You know this by the sound of his fan, the tell-tale whir joining a tinnitus chorus in your ears. You know it by the way he reaches for your shoulder right as you grasp the frail line of tickets and wrench them backwards with all of your strength, realizing your mistake only when it’s too late. The paper rips apart and the entire train disappears hopelessly behind the secondary machine wall. The process sends you a short distance backwards, colliding with Moon.

Again, wordlessly, you find his hand on your shoulder. The other is working to untangle your limbs from each other. It appears he’s attempting to sooth you, but you don’t know for sure. You can’t see him behind the red in your vision or hear him beyond the ring in your ears. He’s saying something to you, that much you know, but not what or why, and you do nothing to find out.

Your anger is boiling. Frustration drags you from the floor and forward, onto your feet, where you take it out on the machine that has continuously fought you by slamming the metal door shut. It connects with such force that the mechanisms spring loose and the door inevitably swings open again, further mocking you.

The rubber bands around your head begin to snap all at once.

Moon says something you don’t hear. His voice is quiet. Blue fingers appear in the corner of your vision.

Your body moves on its own volition, head pounding, heart racing, your palms connect with his chest before your mind has time to catch up. 

The clatter of metal hitting the floor echos throughout the enormous arcade, surpassing even the ghosts and the bells and the ringing. You hear him fall before you see it, before you can make sense of it.

His eyes briefly go static, then flash between colors, black red black red black red blackredblackredblackredblack. Red. Normal red. You’ve never been more relieved to see the color. He picks himself up from the ground with slow, aching movements, and clutches gingerly at his faceplate, a headache of his own kind surely beginning to form. 

Soon after he peers between his fingers. Obviously, his gaze is furious, an aggression you’re all too familiar with and one you can’t say you’d blame him for, here and now, but the expression on his face changes with time and becomes relenting. Like he just…lets it go.

“Ow,” is all he initially says, staring at you pointedly. Then, with a wince and the barest hint of a toothy smirk, “You’re a terrible mechanic.”

The room falls silent again for fifteen awful, clarity induced seconds. The time it takes you to catch your breath. Finally, the last rubber band snaps and you, too, find yourself coming undone. What starts as dry, humorless laughter quickly transitions into a warble, and then a full-blown sob. You sink to the floor and wail endlessly into your hands as days worth of mounting exhaustion bring wave after wave of tears. Your shoulders tremble, your body hurts. You want nothing more than to be left alone as you break into a million pieces.

Moon, as usual, cares little for what you want.

A soft and familiar click is your only warning before a weight can be felt on your shoulders. Forcing yourself to open your eyes and blink through the tears, you see Moon wrapping a blanket around you, tucking the ends together at your front. The fabric is warm and soft. He’s brought it all the way from the daycare.

This does nothing to stop the waterworks. If anything, you find yourself crumbling against him, your throat going sore as emotions flood from you tenfold. Your forehead lands against his chest and stays there as an apology forms between sobs, again and again and again. Each time he remains silent, doing nothing to stop you, but his hand is gentle as it tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and he is undeniably careful when drawing his thumb across your cheek to rid of the tears.

“How long?” It’s a whisper so quiet, you barely hear it over the remnants of labored breath.

“What?”

“How long,” he asks again, looking deeply into your eyes, “since you slept?”

Another sob threatens to spill over your tongue. You quell it, and the tears with it, bringing your shirt sleeve over the wet tracks and swallowing around your breath until your voice returns without its tremor. You see little point in lying to him now. 

“Three days,” you admit, and Moon stiffens in place, pleading with a wide-eyed stare, like any minute you’ll tell him you’re joking. But you’re not. “I tried,” you continue, “I keep trying, but I just can’t. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

You feel a little ridiculous like this. Wet faced and sniffling, your forehead tucked awkwardly against his chest, complaining about your challenges with falling sleep, of all things. A nightly habit that most people don't even consider a skill because everyone can do it with ease, right? 

A good book, a cup of tea, a playlist of lullabies, there is an endless list of ways to find rest and none of them work; not always. Not when you need it most. The list of things that keep you up at night far exceeds the solutions. It makes the exhaustion feel like a punishment for something out of your control.

The lack of that control makes you feel all wrong. A little useless. A little broken.

“Can I show you something?”

Moon’s voice drags you back to the surface. You turn onto your cheek, pressing that against his frame instead so you can better see his face.

Just as soon, he averts his gaze. “You can’t laugh,” he says, sounding serious all of a sudden, “if you laugh, I’ll leave.”

You wouldn’t dare. Not ever, but especially not now. For fear of answering him with a croak, you simply nod your head. It isn’t good enough for him.

“I need you to promise,” he says.

Another nod, to show you understand. You can think of no reason not to humor him so, as promised, you raise your pinky into the air with intentions to shake, an act you’ve only ever performed with Sun. “I promise.”

Though he is visibly hesitant, Moon eventually lifts his own finger, engulfing as it curls around your own. If he accepts your promise it’s impossible to tell because, for the longest time, there is only silence and a distant look in his eyes.

Then, undeniably, there is music. A gentle tune, mechanical, whirring in a way that is separate from his fans. You hear every cord, every plucked tooth and prong. A music box. It plays from deep within his chest and to his left, just under your ear. Were he human, you suspect it might sit exactly where his heart is.

“It’s nice,” you mumble, feeling your eyelids grow heavier and heavier.

A grating cord interrupts you, the tune fumbles and clashes inharmoniously, becoming discordant for a matter of time before falling into its proper rhythm once more. Moon winces.

“It’s broken,” he says, “I don’t think it can be fixed.”

Nevertheless, your ear stays where it’s at, cheek pressed soundly into the warmth of his chest.  “I guess that makes two of us,” you mumble, content. You feel him still against you, going rigid until he feels like a spring ready to fly. His arms tuck you close, and all at once, he relaxes.

“Yeah,” comes his reply, barely there at all, “I guess it does.”

The truth is that you would be content to stay like this all night. Sleep doesn’t feel so distant, now. It doesn’t feel scary, or out of reach, or like it might run if you get too close. You feel safe approaching it, and you feel safe here, even if you’d never dare admit the words aloud.

But Moon knows better than to remain here. He collects you into his arms without offering you the time to argue, and you, with exhaustion at your back and music against your ear, do not fight him in the slightest. You hardly feel each step as he carries you across the arcade. You don’t see the expression worn by the DJ, who opens a single eye from his feigned sleep to follow your exit, and you don’t see the nod Moon gives him in exchange.

You do see the glamrocks. Freddy speaks with a staff member not too far down the hall. Chica patrols the length of space separating your current location from the Daycare, often looking for conversation, and any day but today you would be happy to engage with her. But today you have the strength of a child, and your eyes are red, and your face is wet, and all you can do is tuck your head further into Moon’s chest in an attempt to hide yourself. Fresh tears spring at the edges of your vision, threatening to spill over at the thought of being so exposed in front of them when you’re already feeling plenty vulnerable.

Somehow, Moon knows, and understands, and he is wordless as he brings the hat from his head and places it delicately over your face to shield it. Like this, you look like you’re already sleeping, and no one would dare wake you up. His hat is soft and it is warm and it smells faintly of lavender. The bell rolls with a gentle ting along the length of your arm.

The feeling of wind rushing past your skin alerts you to your arrival, the heavy Daycare doors falling shut at Moon’s ankles. He brings you across the room and to the sleeping nook as you finally pull the hat from its position over your face (yet still refuse to release your iron grip on it), struggling to see in the darkness that greets you.

And then comes the feeling of being put down. He is bent at the knee and carefully lowering you into a mound of blankets when you instinctively reach out and catch the ruffled fabric around his collar, causing him to still. 

Now comes the embarrassment — though it is small, far outweighed by the warmth he has to offer and the sleepy lull of your heavy limbs — you still manage to push yourself somewhat away, mumbling, “Sorry, sorry,” almost incoherently through threads of exhaustion. 

But he's already changed his mind, evidenced by the feeling of being hoisted again into the air. He lowers himself into the spot, instead, so you can stay in his lap, and against his chest. The music box skips and stutters, but you don’t mind it at all.

The last thing you remember is a song. Adjacent to the music in his chest, a hum can be heard, ever faintly. It brings a smile to your lips.

“I knew I remembered your voice,” you whisper blearily, grasping onto what little consciousness remains, “I always find my way back to the things I care about.”

Moon pauses just long enough to press a kiss to your head. “I guess that makes two of us.”

[chubbyheadquarters]

Monkey King Reborn

Genre: Romantic

Pronouns: Gender-Neutral

TW/CW: None

Character(s): Sun Wukong-Monkey King

Just some headcanons that I wrote way last year that I never got around to posting. Oops-

So-👀 My little dumb brain is like-what if, in the movie, since Sandy has his knowledge, Wukong is the muscle and speed and Tripitaka is the center of the group-Why not have a healer/protector?

You, a seemingly normal child, who was bullied for their weight and told that you'd never make it anywhere, awaken your powers when helping a merchant passing by your village. They got hurt, and with your caring nature and panic at the moment, awakened the power within you. People in your village raved about you, sweeping all the bullying and harassment they did to you under the rug and begging for your help.

You agreed for a price. After all, in this cruel world, you only had yourself. Very quickly, people got greedy and even wanted to marry you off since your children had the chance to inherent your powers, which disgusted you. At one point, you just got up and left, never wanting to return. These people weren't savable, nor did you want to help them.

After leaving and wandering on your own, you meet the gang. Tang Sanzang, who had just started his journey and needed another human around, was happy to have you on board, ready to teach you what he knows. The bond you two build is one of siblings. He, the strict yet gullible brother, and you, the more realistic but still kind sibling.

Of course, you meet the others. Sandy, the cute and wholesome water demon. He'll tell you all about the books he has, from myths and stories to demon knowledge. It's adorable how invested he is, and he's happy that you listen. Nerdy friend + supportive bff. You also think it's cute when he's excited or shocked and a bubble leaves his mouth.

Pigsy, the perverted and cocky pig demon. Of course, he sees you and he's drooling. Trying to flirt but quickly getting rejected by you. Every once in a while, he pulls through, which you appreciate, but your relationship with him is aquantices at best.

And then, there's Wukong. He sees you and, like the other beings he's encountered, doesn't really notice you. I mean, you're different from all the women he's seen before his entrapment, being more curvy, and you've got a warm aura, but that's about it? He doesn't really get why you're traveling with them. You just seem...so defenseless? Weak? Way too kind to just be kind.

He's got his eye on you. Thinking that he's gonna catch you doing something bad and call you out. But as time goes by, he realizes that you're...just a nice person, much to his shock. You never ask for anything in return, and you're always happy to help them out.

Let's say that he takes an interest, say when you use your powers. Whether to protect him from an attack with your barriers or when you heal a bad wound of his. He hasn't seen many with your abilities, what with everyone usually just fighting it out. It's a bit interesting, but he still thinks you could learn some self defense.

Your kindness towards him is...strange. He's so used to everyone blowing him off, throwing insults and hate his way, cursing his birth. But you cheer for him when he kicks ass. Compliment him when he finds food and water. And when the others, really just Zhu Bajie, start throwing him under the bus, you're there to defend him. You do scold him, but definitely not as much as everyone else, and when you do, you always do so as calmly as you can and tell him that you're worried about him.

He does notice that, for as kind as you are, you are a bit...distrustful towards people, keeping them at a distance until proven to be an ally or a good being. If they know about your powers, you keep a greater distance from them. It baffles him because you're on good terms with everyone on the team.

When you tell him about your past, since he's a nosy motherfucker, he starts to understand WHY. People have taken advantage of your powers, your kindness and belief that not everyone will use you, but you've pretty much been proven wrong. So when you say that you're thankful to have met them, and that they're the closest thing you've ever had to friends, he's...touched. The fact that you consider him a friend and never try to hide it makes him feel...less alone in the world.

If he ever finds out about the bullying and the people who did it, especially because of your weight, he'll keep it in his mind for later. 'You're pretty wtf???''Well, sucks for them, they missed out on a hot s/o'. He thinks in his mind. He'll visit them and teach them a lesson. Will he ever tell you? Hell no. That's a secret for him and only him to know.

In battle, you two become an absolute unit. You heal, he takes care of the enemies and you defend each other. He really likes the synergy you've built, like you can read each other's movements and just...flow with one another. He knows that if anything, you'll have his back, like he'll have yours.

When he compliments you, you know you're getting closer. He doesn't compliment just anyone, and is only directed that those he REALLY cares about. So even if it doesn't sound super cheerful or cheesy, know that him complimenting you means he likes you. "Not bad. I've never seen something like that." "Thanks Wukong!" Cue blushing monkey.

He'll unknowingly get soft for you, sitting a bit closer, sharing some of his water or food, keeping a closer eye on you in case danger appeared. It isn't until one of the members, maybe Sha Wujing or Zhu Bajie point it out, that he actually starts to think about it. My man starts going through the stages of grief.

Denial is his strongest stage. Why!? He's Sun Wukong! The strongest demon to exist! He doesn't need love! Then he'll start getting angry at himself for getting "soft". He's a demon for heaven's sake! He doesn't FEEL! At one point, he'll start bargaining with himself about how maybe it's the QUALITIES you hold.

The depression be hitting hard when he finds out it's YOU he likes. Don't get him wrong! It's not that there's anything wrong with you, it's just-he's used to being alone. He's never loved anyone, especially like this! Love is seen as a weakness, and now that he WAS IN LOVE-He was worried. He was scared for you-Not that he'd ever admit it. It doesn't help that he's immortal and you're not. Eventually, he half-accepts it. He just needs to be 1000% sure.

When y'all arrive at the Temple and he finds out about the manfruit-Say goodbye to your human years, cause you're gonna eat it. No ifs, ands or buts. He'll feed it to you if he has to. Don't test him. He's not taking no for an answer. In his mind, he's accepted that he enjoys your company, mainly because you take his side and you're literally the light of his life. He still doesn't want to admit how soft he's gone for you. He's such a tsundere I swear to god-

BDJSBSJBSJSNSBSJ-

When Yuandi is released and you're traveling with Fruitie, he sees your bond with the Qi Energy as...kinda cute. Fruitie seems so comfortable around you and you let them talk away, asking questions every once in a while. And you save Wukong the trouble of getting pissed on.

Imagine when you're all fighting against the demons, Wukong is worried about you, looking to see if you're alright every second he can. He knows you're capable, but he's...he's scared to lose you. But it gets even worse when Yuandi-When this dude roles up and starts tossing y'all around-

Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing are killed, and both you and Wukong are the only thing between him and Fruitie. You're doing everything you can to protect them, using all your energy to keep them safe. You don't want to lose anyone else-you can't-BUT THEN YOU'RE KILLED WITHOUT MERCY AND- 😢😭

Wukong, weak and close to passing out, takes your hand in his. Feeling the warmth leave it breaks his fuCKING HEART OML THIS MAN IS WEEPING FOR YOU- 💔 It isn't until you and the others are revived and next to him that he's truly okay, and without any hesitation, sweeps you into his arms and doesn't let go. You and the others are surprised by the open affection, but you return it none the less.

It isn't until you guys have said your goodbyes to Fruitie and arrived at a safe place to take a breather that he just confesses his feelings for you. It's randomly thrown out there, with the only indication of it happening being the small hue of red on his cheeks and refusal to look you in the eyes.

If you have self confidence issues and ask him if he's sure, he's looking at you, questioning if you heard what he just said. Of course he's sure! He spent all this time making sure, and now that he's accepted it, he's giving you his heart! Not just anyone can do that! It just proves how special you are! But after talking it out, you two eventually get together.

Gifts? Honey, good luck with that-He's so fucking clueless about it that it's kinda cute at times. He's a monkey. He's been surrounded by monkeys. Yeah, he's been around humans, but he's not asking them about human courting and gift giving. If he knew that he was gonna meet you, he would have asked a few questions, but that's about it.

The best he can do right now is flowers and small trinkets he finds along the way that he thinks you'll like. The fact that you enjoy them even though it's another simple flower or trinket, it makes his heart skip a beat. Zhu Bajie had the audacity to question why one day, but your sweet answer saved the pig demon from a beating. "It's BECAUSE they're from him. He's doing his best, and that's all I could ever ask for." Cue blush.

Hug this man! Give him pets and cuddles please this grumpy monkey needs it-😭 Hold his hand when he starts getting mad, it calms him down and he'll hold it back once he's cooled off. Hug him when he's done something good! Pet him when he's tired or bored, that'll get him purring and falling asleep in no time. Of course, this man is a tsundere, so he'll prefer it with just the two of you and without the teasing. You get it though, and always ask for consent, which he highly appreciates. So when it's just you two, he's all over you and adamantly refuses to let go.

If anyone even THINKS to flirt with you-Meet him out back, hands are up and he's ready to throw them for you. If anyone actually DOES, he'll give them the dirtiest glare. And people run away, never to be seen around you again. NOW-If a fool has the guts to actively flirt with you after that-oh boy 😔 They better have their funeral set up cause he's putting them in it.

But if anyone even dares to insult you and call you names. 👁👄👁 They have reached their expiration date on life and are now on their way to the Netherworld. They will not be spared and will not be forgiven, even if YOU forgive them. You deserve respect-after all, you're his queen, and as your king, it's his duty to protect you.