#i was looking up reductions straight up recently

[daisybees]

not to stop being fun and cool and chill on main but i’ve been super dysphoric about my chest lately and it’s really starting to get to me

[maxknightley]

Which Touhou Girls Can You Plausibly Read As Butch? A Comprehensive Overview

Earlier on Tumblr I saw a post complaining that someone called Hecatia Lapislazuli from Touhou Project butch. This is Hecatia Lapislazuli:

Obviously, like most Touhou characters, she is in fact quite feminine - she just shops at Hell Hot Topic. But it got me thinking: In a series like Touhou, with a cast overwhelmingly defined by feminine (if rowdy) ladies, how many characters could you say are 'butch' without sounding like a complete doofus or significantly redesigning them to fit your headcanon?

CRITERIA

I'll be using four main criteria to judge characters' butchness. In real life, of course, butchness is a multivalent and extremely personal thing, but I'm talking about funny cartoon women from a video game here, so I'm willing to be a little reductive.

These criteria, in order of descending importance, are:

FASHION. In a series where goddamn near everyone is in either a dress or a skirt, the mere act of Wearing A Dress Shirt can be enough to make a powerful statement. Hats may also play a role here, given how many Touhou characters have gay little hats.

HAIRSTYLE. Short hair is not the be-all and end-all of butchness. I, myself, am Decidedly Butch even though I've been growing out my hair since college. But the length and styling of the hair are still a valuable indicator of how someone thinks of themself and wants to be seen.

'TUDE. Could this character be accurately described as "kind of a frat boy?" How do they speak to others? Do they just kind of seem like a character who ought to be butch, regardless of their looks? Do they even lift?

COMEDY FACTOR. Self-explanatory. This will probably only come into play if I run into a weird edge case.

I'll also emphasize that we're grading on a curve here - butchness is being assessed relative to the characters who do not appear on this list. Nobody in this series has a buzzcut, you know what I mean?

THE TIER LIST

AS CLOSE TO CANON AS WE'LL GET

Fujiwara no Mokou. The girl wears a dress shirt, fucking suspenders, and trousers. Not shorts, actual full-length pants. She's also in a perpetual love-hate mutual-murder situationship with Princess Kaguya, who is femme as all fuck. Obviously you don't have to be butch to date a femme - I'm just saying it feels Fitting given their whole deal.

Yuugi Hoshiguma. Most of the time, her fashion sense is actually quite feminine - but her look in the most recent chapter of Cheating Detective Satori, with the one exposed shoulder and the sarashi and all that, significantly alters the balance. Her hair actually reads as more masc to me when she keeps it long and unruly - when she puts it up in a ponytail, she ends up looking very kempt, even elegant. The deciding factor here is 'Tude: Her sheer levels of butch swag are off the fucking charts. (Still, I wouldn't blame someone for arguing she should be knocked down a tier - especially since I'd argue the Comedy Factor works in reverse here. She's way funnier if she doesn't think of herself as butch in the slightest.)

Minamitsu Murasa. In his original appearance I'd argue that Murasa is in "Reasonable" tier - maybe even as low as "Kind of a Stretch." But her big gay Jotaro jacket in Sunken Fossil World, combined with the emphasis on the weightiness and solidity of his trademark anchor, put her over the top. One of the only Touhou girls I consider worthy of being He/Himmed.

Shinmyoumaru Sukuna. The other He/Him-worthy Touhou girl. Very short, slightly messy hair; wears a kimono, not a dress; inheritor of Issun-Boshi's legacy; wears fucking dinnerware as a hat. Why do you want to be Big so badly, huh? So you can pick up women more easily? So you can carry your awful wife through the upside-down threshold of your upside-down bedroom?

Raiko Horikawa. For the longest time I thought her skirt was a pair of shorts because I straight up could not parse it as anything else. Even now I'm like "that can't possibly be a skirt, ZUN just drew it weird. She has to be wearing a full two-piece suit." Skirt aside, her jacket/dress shirt/necktie are still undeniable, as is her short hair. Also, she is a taiko drum given life, and I feel like taiko and timpanis are naturally butch. Maybe if she was a tambourine or a set of bongos I'd rank her lower?

Momoyo Himemushi. Rough-talking miner. Wears a dress shirt, leaves the top button(?) undone. Tromps around a big weird cave with no shoes or socks on. Wears bows and bangles basically everywhere but in her messy, tangled hair. Also, maybe I'm stereotyping here, but I just can't picture a centipede as being femme.

REASONABLE

Wriggle Nightbug. The dress shirt, cape, and puffy shorts all paint a vivid picture, but I just feel like I don't have a strong enough opinion on Wriggle as a character to put her in the top tier. In other words, she's got plenty of points for Fashion and quite a few for Hairstyle, but I just don't think the 'Tude is sufficient for me.

Reisen Udongein Inaba. The skirts are a strike against her, but her whole "dress shirt + necktie + sometimes suit jacket" thing makes a big difference, especially given that we're grading on a curve. Her rumpled ears and (particularly in Inaba of the Moon, Inaba of the Earth) pathetic demeanor go a long way towards giving her a vibe somewhere between "overworked salaryman" and "Detective Columbo."

Aya Shameimaru. All you need to know about Aya is that her "human reporter" disguise looks like This:

Mononobe no Futo. Butch, but in a really weird, circuitous way, imo. Like. She's sort of wearing a dress, but it's sort of a robe - the contrast of the hemline with her big flowy sleeves makes it hard to pin down - and her outfit quite notably has tassels rather than any kind of frills. I don't know what the hell is up with her hat but it's definitely not femme by any stretch of the imagination. Then thou hast the wayes in which she speaketh all "faux-olde-timey," even though nobody else in the setting does that... she transferred her soul into a plate, but she also throws plates around as weapons... It's like she's constantly putting on a performance that only she truly understands. It's like she reverse-engineered "masculine womanhood" by hanging out with a bunch of queens and doing kind of the same thing but kind of the inverse. The more I think about Futo the more I think she's entirely on her own wavelength, but I think "Reasonable" tier is a... uh, reasonable... approximation for the sake of this post.

Sagume Kishin. She dresses like if Bill Nye were a woman, and I think that cuts to the heart of it - she reminds me of a professor who you're not ever sure is gay, but you kind of pick up on a vibe, and near the end of the semester she offhandedly refers to "her partner" and you're like HOLY SHIT I KNEW IT. I went back and forth between putting her in "Reasonable" and "Kind of a Stretch"; ultimately, the Comedy Factor decided it because I couldn't stop thinking about a scenario where she says she's a woman, accidentally upends her whole understanding of gender in the process, and ends up taking testosterone while still ID'ing as a lesbian. I don't actually know if her powers would work that way and I don't care.

KIND OF A STRETCH

Eiki Shiki. I don't have a lot to go on, here, because she hasn't had many official appearances and seems to spend most of her time lecturing people or tormenting sinners. Her uniform(?)/apothecary outfit(??) is pretty snazzy; combined with the hat, it gives her a vaguely "military officer" look to me. We'll call her "butch pending further investigation," which I think she would agree is the correct course of action.

Sekibanki. She's here partially because of the cape, and partially because being sandwiched between Wakasagihime and Kagerou makes her look way more masc by contrast. I know what I said.

Ringo. It's pretty much just the hat and the pants, though - as a butch woman who Loves Eating - I am also inclined to project my own experiences onto her.

Aunn Komano. She reads as more "tomboyish" than outright "butch" to me, what with her whole puppy-dog vibe, but at the same time... she's very much wearing shorts and the kind of goofy-looking button-up shirt that is central to my own wardrobe and the wardrobe of other butches in my life. I'm willing to count her.

Takane Yamashiro. A living testament to the power of small character design choices. I would never in a million years call Nitori butch, even with her gay little hat and all the pouches on her outfit - she just looks like a girl scout. Takane, though? Takane, with her little hair swoopy, and the fucking suitcase slung over her back, and her camo-print dress? I mean - ultimately it is still a dress, which is why I can't justify scoring her higher, but she's definitely chewing tobacco and riding around on an ATV on weekends.

Chiyari Tenkaijin. If she's butch, it's not really because she's trying to be butch, it's just because being femme seems too expensive and time-consuming. She's got better things to do (drink blood all day). Still, I think an argument could be made.

DEFINITELY A STRETCH, BUT I RESPECT IT

Renko Usami. ZUN is kind of inconsistent with how he draws her hat - sometimes it's more of a porkpie/fedora type thing, other times it's round-topped and looks a bit like Koishi's hat. To me, this is a crucial distinction. In a more general sense, I feel like Renko's outfit gets a little less plausibly-masc with each passing album, which says a lot about our society. Or her society, anyway, since she lives in the future. Still, the capelets and bowties...

Rinnosuke Morichika. I think it would be really funny if the only significant male character in Touhou wasn't actually even a dude. I'm not aware of any real textual support for this interpretation, though.

Shou Toramaru. Pretty much only on here because of the hair and because I think there's a certain je ne sais quoi to her whole deal of "she's not a real tiger, she's the idea of a tiger that pre-Meiji Japanese people came up with from secondhand accounts."

Seija Kijin. Not even remotely butch by any stretch of the imagination... But if she did consider herself butch, isn't that exactly what she'd want you to think?

POTENTIALLY NOTEWORTHY EXCLUSIONS

Cirno. "Tomboyish" is not the same thing as "butch," to me, especially if you exclusively wear dresses. Also, I'm not sure Cirno even knows what a lesbian is.

Saki Kurokoma. Not actually butch, just a horse girl. (And a horsegirl.)

Mike Goutokuji. Can't tell if she's wearing a skirt or shorts. She's got short hair, sure, but the whole "matching bell collar and wristbands that also have bells attached" thing makes her look more like a Very Online Trans Woman who just figured herself out and hasn't started hormones or bought any new clothes yet.

[ms-demeanor]

Going off that post about nutrition and science, I'd love to hear what you think of the 5:2 diet/The Fast 800 and its creator, Dr. Michael Mosley. For context: in order to get an NHS-funded breast reduction (it's a gender thing, but also just a general quality-of-life thing), I need to be a certain BMI, so I've been referred to a weight management clinic. The lady I've been seeing initially just put me on a low-carb diet (130g or less of carbs per day, with an aside from her about how bullshit Keto and BMI limits for treatment are), but now she's said that, if I wanted to speed up the weight loss, I should include the 5:2 diet: 5 days in a week where I eat "normally", and 2 fast days in which I restrict myself to 800kcals. I did a little looking into it myself, and found that 5:2 - which I HAD heard about before - is now being sold as part of "The Fast 800", with Dr. Mosley being the creator of it. I was shocked by that, because I was already a fan of Dr. Mosley's work (he has a podcast called "Just One Thing" that I really liked, and thought contained reasonable-sounding advice), and yet having a diet plan that he's clearly making money off of does immediately make me feel suspicious. I've borrowed his "The Fast 800" book from the library, both to find out more about the diet I've been put on and to see if it's at all backed by evidence, and he does cite a bunch of scientific studies which seem to back up his ideas, but I don't know how valid they are, and I don't just want to accept them at face-value (especially since he's a "we got fat completely wrong in the 80s, therefore we should eat a Mediterranean diet!" types). Obviously I'll go with what my weight management lady suggests, since she's obviously more qualified to talk about it than I am, but I am curious to know what you think, and whether I'm right to be distrustful of all of this.

I am, generally speaking, against any diet for rapid weight loss. They're not sustainable so people gain the weight back (often with more weight getting added on).

There have also recently been findings that suggest that BMI cutoffs for top surgery are detrimental to patients as patients in higher BMI categories are more likely to have minor complications like UTIs or to be readmitted, but are not likely to have major complications or be at risk of significant harm from having top surgery. I don't know if anybody will listen if you bring up that study, and I know that GCS is fraught in many places for many reasons.

I'm also just.

I'm so mad. I'm so fucking mad! I'm so mad about this!

One of my best friends is a guy who was pressured into a pattern of disordered eating and unhealthy exercise in order to qualify for top surgery; since then he has not been able to eat in a healthy way and has struggled with alternating between exercising to the point of harm and other destructive behaviors that make him unhappy and unsafe. And he didn't need that. He didn't need any of that! He needed a very safe surgery that had perhaps a slightly higher risk of minor complications at his size and instead he got top surgery and an eating disorder! I hate it! I'm so fucking mad about it!

Also as near as I can tell Michael Mosley qualified as a psychiatrist in the 90s, spent very little time working as a psychiatrist, and then became a media personality. From what is visible on his website and every biography I've found for him he apparently doesn't have any background in nutrition beyond whatever is standard for someone in medical school (which is NOT MUCH).

Hey I just looked at his website and this is straight-up fucked up.

Anybody recommending an 800 calorie a day diet for 2-12 weeks in a context that is not heavily medically supervised can fucking choke. That is *ridiculously* dangerous and the website says that this can improve insulin resistance but there are a shitload of studies about people on crash diets like this *developing* insulin resistance (oh hey like my friend who became prediabetic after his rapid significant weight loss).

Also in regard to the studies he cites on the website, the "two years later patients are still going strong in their diabetes improvements" it's really important to put shit like that in context

at 5 years 13% of the original intervention group were in remission from their type two diabetes; the average weight loss experienced by the intervention group as a whole was 6.1kg compared to 4.6kg in the control group. That's 1.5kg lower for the people who went through a twelve week medically supervised very low calorie diet compared. That's an average difference of 3.3 pounds between "starvation diet" and "no diet" for the Americans in the audience.

Yours is the second comment I've seen that has been leery of the Mediterranean diet, btw, and the Mediterranean diet is fine. It's very achievable and not super gimmicky and is based on very reasonable reassessments of fat, not the hardcore "you are fine to eat 100g of fat a day" kind of attitude that you get from the keto crew. There isn't really one Mediterranean diet and it certainly isn't low carb (which the bits from Mosely's website seem to indicate it is).

So, no, honestly I don't think much of Mosely and I'm very sorry you're in this situation, that sucks and I hate that they're refusing you treatment until you undergo an exceptionally difficult and potentially harmful weight loss excursion.

I know you're probably stuck with that and it's bullshit and I think it fucking sucks and unfortunately the medical advice you're likely to get is "eat in a significantly disordered manner at least until it is time for surgery" and it blows. That just fucking sucks.

If you're looking for rapid weight loss that you don't plan to sustain (and you shouldn't plan to sustain it, it won't stay off) you may want to look into body building forums for how they discuss cuts. It's still disordered eating and it's still not healthy, but at least they're effective and can tell you what supplements will keep you from becoming malnourished while you prepare for surgery. This is a terrible idea. I don't actually want to give this advice to anyone but bodybuilders are the exact kind of people who know how far and how fast they can push weight loss while having an awareness that it isn't really good for them and it won't stay off.

I cannot overstate enough how much I hate the thought that people are being encouraged to rapidly starve themselves in order to prepare to recover from surgery. I am so sorry and I'm so mad and

[zhivaoverdrive]

Used to be huge, pt9

"Wow... is that it?" laughed Ayu upon opening the door to the shower suite.

Hitomi looked down, but she couldn't see much of her body at all right now. Straight down, nothing but her newly inflated tits, the recently vanishing space between which revealed only the tiniest peak of her now deflated belly. To her sides? Still nothing but huge circular masses of plastic with a tiny glimpse of her body behind them. Like an afterthought. She managed to get her underwear on through muscle memory alone, that and being not quite ready to ask for help just yet...

"HEY. What do you mean by that... plus I haven't even-" said Hitomi.

"I gave you big girl tits! To match with the bloated body you dragged in" interrupted Ayu, playfully stern. "Filled them up to match that gut of yours, against my better judgement, we filled and filled" "And now what's this?" Ayu said, placing her hand atop Hitomi's now empty stomach.

Hitomi couldn't see her hand, but it sure felt good. It's warmth on her stretched out skin, maybe it was what had been missing…

"I haven't had breakfast!" Hitomi said. She had tried to sound playful, but it sounded defensive as soon as it left her mouth.

She felt Ayu's hand creep a little lower. The nurse then lift the lower portion of her belly a few inches, letting it crash back down and cover what were supposed to be her fresh panties. As Ayu's hand steadied her, the faint moan which escaped the recently augmented girl could hardly have escaped notice.

"I can't imagine what amount of breakfast it takes to roll the clock back a day on this" said Ayu. "We better come up with a plan". ---

"Really? So mostly drinks and mentos huh..." said Ayu. Hitomi had just given her the full rundown of yesterdays 'breakfast'. The all-day binge that had lasted until literal moment before she walked in the doors of the IEC.

"I've.. been working up to it. I didn't have much time and I wanted to be as big as possible" laughed Hitomi. The story sounded absurd. She'd been unable to say things like they truly were, even to her partner. It felt good to let it out now.

"You know if you wanted them this big, or bigger, you could have just asked. Believe me, you're not the first and wouldn't have been the last" said Ayu.

"It's... it's not that simple. I didn't even know I was ready for them until..." replied Hitomi before trailing off. "Marching in and asking for such huge implants... it felt different, you know?."

"I'd still have done it!" laughed Ayu. "Plus, we'd not be in the predicament we find ourselves in," she continued more seriously. "The size I made you... Well I seem to have escaped getting in trouble by the skin of my teeth. "But if you go to a checkup looking like this, well. "You'll get to keep them, but... well my reasoning for my actions doesn't look quite so sound. "I did overshoot you... by quite a long way. And it's not necessarily my first offence..." she finished.

"How big even am I anyway?" said Hitomi.

"Well..." smiled Ayu. "Let's put a pin in that. If this is your final size then she'll give you all of the info in your check up. But..."

"I want to keep going. I do. Let's make these fit me first!" interjected Hitomi.

Ayu smiled inside. She'd known this was coming, but now it felt like she'd given her a choice. "I bet you do," Ayu winked. "You're all stretched out, now you need some calories. A lot of them." ---

"I guess that makes ... SOME sense. She'd been bloating herself up, fine, that's not our concern" said the Boss, seated on her swivel chair. "So you're requesting the Metabol-x why?"

"I think... She will suffer from body dysmorphia. It means her boobs have to match her-" began Ayu carefully.

"I'm aware what it means. Body Dysmorphia in this clinic? The mind reels", came the short response. "If she doesn't like them, drain some out" continued the Boss, unhelpfully. They'd practically never actually performed a drain or reduction in the IEC. Certainly not one that wasn't medically necessary.

"You're about to say she won't. And that this is the only option" said the Boss, turning to rummage through a filing cabinet on her desk. Upon finding a folder with some documents in it, she turned back to face Ayu.

"And now I'll say this, and only once "Do NOT, let this situation get out of hand. She signs this first. This is not a service we offer, and were it to reflect poorly on us, it may in fact be the action of a rogue nurse" said the Boss, holding out the clipboard.

As Ayu reached to take it, she pulled it back a smidge. "At least you came to me, that's a start. Now no No 4's this time. Or the other numerous examples" ---

After Ayu had left, the Boss unlocked her computer and fired up the provisioning portal.

Metabol-x huh, let's see here. Developed for the ... ah. For use in extreme survival situations, arctic exploration, deep operations, bla bla bla, event of strikes on food supply. Discontinued 1994. Limited supply in cold storage.

Flicking through the number of case studies, the trend was pretty obvious. Some had started small, sickly. All had indicated for eating disorders. All ending up very large indeed, the longest trial of 6 months resulting in a 400lb woman.

It was a lengthy walk through her phone book, but if something was on earth then she knew how to buy it. She ordered a pallet. It wasn't really necessary, they'd derive the active ingredients herself if it came down to it. No harm in having the last of the supply anyway, just good business.

Quite resourceful that Ayu. A wildcard, but you often learn something. Only came to me because she couldn't find it herself, but it was a good show. I’ll hold the reigns a little tighter at first..

[darlingofdots]

Hello as someone who did half of a thesis on trans romance novels before realising academia wasn't entirely compatible with my health, I am still VERY excited by romance academia and romance academics. Would you like to talk more about your PhD?

Academia is barely compatible with life, I feel you xD

Basically I'm very interested in interrogating and dismantling the standard hero/heroine language because I don't think that it serves us anymore. The genre has evolved so much that it feels really reductive to say 'this is the hero because it's a man' and vice versa, and that's even before you start considering queer and same sex romance novels. I do believe that the protagonists of a romance novel have different narrative roles! They're just not rooted in gender, or at least not just. For example, it used to be that heroines were always young women who were sexually naive and heroes were older, sexually experienced and aggressive men, and that is demonstrably not true anymore. I'm investigating the functions of the romance protagonists in the romance narrative with the goal of proposing a different classification, so we can finally talk about different relationship constellations within romances with accurate language and understand the actual roles they play better. Figuring out how stories work is one of my favourite things to do both as a writer and an academic, because I love finding the patterns and traditions inherent in storytelling--what does this building block do and where does it come from? Why does it look like that? What happens if you take it away?

Romance scholarship is super fun because there's so much material to discuss and not that many people who are discussing it, but it's also difficult because a lot of the discussion has been trying to defend the genre and scholarship thereof against stereotypes and misogynist dismissals from other fields, so there's not as much foundational material as you often hope. There are so many exciting things happening in the community though! I recently attended the 2023 conference by the International Association for the Scholarship of Popular Romance and had an absolute blast both because the presentations were fascinating and because everybody there was just so bloody lovely. It was so wonderful to be in a room full of people very seriously discussing possessiveness in sports romance or the folkloric themes in KJ Charles novels and never have to justify your interests or preferences.

Popular romance is such a staggeringly wide field and yet so many people have absolutely no idea about how the genre works. Mainstream media and scholarship are so outrightly dismissive of it that the majority of people, even voracious readers!, have such a skewed idea of it that they refuse to interrogate because the image of the white, straight, cis bodice ripper is so ingrained in their head and it never occurs to them that that might be an incomplete picture. It's especially egregious to hear this stuff repeated by fanfiction readers because the line that separates shippy fanfic from romance novels is so thin it's practically imaginary. If somebody only read Game of Thrones and then went on a rant that all fantasy books are horrible and stupid and anyone who reads them must be intellectually inferior, they'd rightfully be called a dick, but people say these things about romance novels all the damn time. Get off your high horse! Acknowledge that women are people and things enjoyed by women have merit! Broaden your horizons! Ask a romance reader for some recommendations and maybe you'll even end up enjoying yourself!

[dramat-ique]

Okay so I’m thinking about the differences in the way that fandom treats Dick’s relationship with his parents opposed to how they treat Jason’s relationship with his.

When talking about the Graysons relevance to the batfamily they’re held very preciously. Even when a media portrays Bruce as Dick’s father it’s with the understanding that he will never replace them, and they are respected as people who will always be a massive and important part of Dick’s life despite not being there for him anymore. They helped shape him into the amazing man he became yada yada. With Jason we see this a lot less so. I basically never see the Todds talked about in how they will always be Jason’s family, or how Bruce could never replace them. Their role in Jason’s life is diminished, as well as his personal connection to him. When their importance to him is recognised it seems only to be for how they damaged him, how they failed him.

(Side note: I find it interesting how many fics I have read where a Jason calls Bruce “Dad” when Dick never calls him anything but Bruce)

There’s a lot of reasons why that probably is. Largely I imagine it’s got a big part to do with more recent rewriting of Jason’s parents (by this I mean the Todd's, since Sheila is written out of most of these entirely. A decision I disagree with but isn’t really relevant here since I’m talking about the family that raised him) to be more terrible people than they originally were. I also would wager a lot of it is a certain kind of classism, but that’s also the underlying factor in the decision to rewrite the Todds as well (Reading Scott Lobdell’s Red Hood books reeks of a man who has only a cartoonish understanding of poverty and addiction. Just look what he did to Roy as well).

When Jason’s parents are portrayed to be the physically abusive drug dealer father and the lost it drug addicted mother who showed up drunk to prenatal classes, I understand why people would but less weight on their importance in Jason’s life after their deaths. No one wants to think about a child holding the parents who hurt them as important people in their heart once they have the support of a wealthy, loving father to replace them.

But that’s not what Catherine and Willis were meant to be. And their reduction to that pisses me off to no end.

I’m not giving anyone unheard of information when I say that originally (well, originally if you ignore the brief time when the Todds were just Grayson ripoffs) the Todd’s were more vaguely portrayed as people who were down on their luck. Willis was a small time criminal who grew up in poverty, jailed for crimes committed trying to provide for his family, and Catherine died to, quote “A disease that just didn’t care how much love she had in her heart.” I’ve seen that interpreted as a literal disease, the disease of addiction, or a combination of illness that forced her to self medicate to manage. But for the sake of this let’s chose to interpret that Catherine struggled with Addiction.

Jason’s parents couldn’t provide much for Jason. He likely suffered a lot because of it. Willis choosing crime as a way to provide would have made life rough. Catherine’s addiction and following death would have been deeply traumatising. But they loved him. And he loved them. And it feels weird to act as if they would stop being important to him in the same way that Dick’s parents are to him.

Jason’s story as robin is, famously among his fans, misinterpreted a lot. Everyone knows at this point the way more modern comics have misrepresented him as “the angry Robin”. And it feels very significant to me that the same comics that push that idea also push the idea that Willis and Catherine were just straight up bad people. The statement ends up being “Jason Todd’s parents were bad so Jason was always going to be bad.” and “Poor people are poor because of their own life choices” WHEN IT SHOULD BE “Jason’s parents were in an impossible position and unable to provide all the opportunities that would have allowed Jason to be a happy, carefree kid.” and “Poor people often turn to crime and addiction because they are the only accessible options.”

To me, the appeal of Jason’s time as Robin is getting to see a child, who due to the affects of generational poverty and tragedy was forced to grow up too fast to survive, getting the chance to be a child again. Not because he is free of his terrible parents, but because someone with the resources to provide helped him. And this allows him to go on and be happy and actively do good rather than perpetuate the cycle of crime and poverty. It’s not that Jason chose to “do the right thing”, he was given the resources that made doing the right thing an option in the first place!

Jason is not “bad” because his parents were, and he wasn’t “good” in spite of his parents. But they were important to him. So much so that he struggled to talk about them, to the point where Bruce was very concerned about Jason’s inability to process the loss of them at the end of his time as Robin. Jason’s feelings about his parents are allowed to be complicated. Loving or not there were likely a lot of problems in his homelife. But that does not mean they don’t have value to him or that they shouldn’t.

To act like they are less important to him than the Graysons are to Dick just really doesn’t sit right with me. Especially when we see people in real life think the best solution for children in poverty is to remove them from the families they love and who love them, rather than provide support and resources to struggling families. Impoverished parents are not villains, the systems that create poverty are.

And I know that’s a bit of an intense complaint when talking about how much fandom values the parents of a fictional character. To be clear I’m not saying that people who don’t place value on Jason’s parents are contributing to some evil system opressing the poor. Because obviously not. Mostly the problem is that Catherine and Willis Todd don’t even come up that much in can material to begin with, and the bad writing overpowers the good. whatever. But what I am saying is that this kind of thing both represents current and effects future perception of these issues.

When I complained earlier in this post about Scott Lobdell’s piss poor writing of these subjects, I do so knowing that he probably does that because that IS the popular perception of poverty.

Anyway I have no point to saying all of this. Mostly I was just observing things and talking out my ass. Basically just. more people should write Jason’s family as important parts of his character I guess.

[miniar]

Is there such a thing as toxic femininity?

WAIT!

Whenever someone talks about toxic masculinity there's always at least one "what about toxic femininity?" in the replies and the long answer is nuanced and complex but the short answer usually is "that is not a thing" and recently I've slowly started thinking that just maybe.. there is.

Let me elaborate.

First, in case you didn't already know, Toxic Masculinity is a term coined by men. It's the name of the answer they came up when they tried to answer the question of "what is going on with men's mental health?"

Yes the question was not exactly that specific, but the short version is that they looked at how boys are raised to be men and how that relates to their willingness if not ability to seek help when they needed it as well as their relationship with themselves, their identity and went "holy shit.. that's actually.. kinda messed up".

It's toxic like a toxic plant. The more of the toxic plant you ingest, internalize, the more it's gonna mess you up.

Now, the thing I wanna focus on is one of the most common ways the messages on "how to man!" are shaped, served to us to consume, ingest, internalize. The shape is in the negative.

Not as in "bad" but as in "not".

Think about it, if you read these two questions back to back: What does a real man do? What does a real man never do? Did you immediately think of an answer to them? Was it easier to think of one for the second question? Was the answer to the first question in the negative? (i.e. he never, he doesn't, not, etc)

If you didn't think of it in the reductive or negative, do you think that's the first thought for most people?

Boys, and men, are constantly told what Not to do, be, feel, think, say, want, like, etc, etc, etc, to be considered real men.

In other words, it's a pattern of expression that doesn't uplift or affirm masculinity, but a pattern of subtraction and rejection. It's a pattern that defines masculinity by the complete absence of anything and everything that can be considered feminine and the list of things that are "feminine" is not only constantly changing but often self contradictory.

NOW....

Compare that to how terfs talk about femininity and womanhood.

For example, when the woman's march changed their logo in 2022, there was an uproar amongst terfs on twitter over the shape of one of the noses in the picture.

On one side is a more upturned nose, in the middle a slightly larger and straighter nose, and on the left is a pretty straight and somewhat larger nose. (Incidentally it looks exactly like my aunt.)

Terfs took to twitter and declared loudly that the simply drawn, solid blue, silhouette, was obviously not a woman because women do not have noses like that.

Now, OBVIOUSLY, when it comes to the "women do not look like that" rhetoric it's very heavily influenced by certain heritages. If we are to call a spade a spade... it's obviously racist. I'm not trying to take away from that at all.

The thing I am getting at with this post is how a lot of the comments and statements from terfs tend to follow that presentation.

"Real women" don't... look like that, sound like that, walk like that, talk like that, think like that, feel like that, have that, do that, etc, etc, etc,... Sometimes presented as "look at what X does, a real woman would never". Sometimes simplified into "not a woman because X".

A lot like how if a man makes a mistake with a car, an object a "real man" obviously has innate knowledge of, he's "not a man".

How terfs talk about women, womanhood, and femininity is so very often in the same negative, same subtractive manner. It seems as though they define femininity by the complete absence of anything and everything that can be considered masculine and the list of things that are "masculine" is not only constantly changing but often self contradictory.

Now I might be off in the weeds with this thought, drawing too broad a comparison, or focusing in too tight on a single point of comparison, and I'm in now way suggesting the two are one to one, obviously. I mean, there isn't the same societal prevalence or some such at play here.

But if there is something that can be called toxic femininity it would be an idea of femininity that relies at least in part on the subtraction of masculinity to a degree that is harmful to internalize and is wielded like a cudgel to deny the womanhood of any woman who doesn't carefully whittle herself down to fit into that narrow box.

IDK...

Thoughts?

[clatterbane]

I am feeling greatly vindicated about now, in a way that I am very aware is probably verging on bitchiness on this end too. But, some people just affect me that way.

What do we have here, through the portal? Starting cortisol levels toward the lower end of normal for that time of day. And also well within the normal range? The cortisol-stimulating hormone which is what goes screwy and gets overproduced to make your adrenal glands pump out too much cortisol, if the problem is on the pituitary end.

The point of this overzealous testing?

The dexamethasone suppression test is used to diagnose endogenous Cushing syndrome by assessing the lack of suppression of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis in response to exogenous corticosteroids.[1] The first use of dexamethasone for diagnosing Cushing syndrome was in 1960 by Liddle; he developed a test based on the non-suppressibility of endogenous cortisol production in Cushing syndrome versus the physiological suppression in nonaffected individuals achieved by dexamethasone.[2]

So yeah, if you give someone even a single dose of dexamethasone (never mind the sledgehammer 8-dose multiday protocol they hit my endocrine system with!), their body should cut way back on its own cortisol production to compensate. If the regulating mechanism is borked, it will just keep pumping out the ACTH and then a bunch of cortisol anyway.

What happened in this case?

Whoosh!

Straight down within the expected time frame, from totally fine levels starting out. The usual low single-dose test would have more than done it, without fucking my blood sugar up or giving me its own version of the Prednisone Crazies to anywhere near the same extent. They are apparently looking for at least a 50% reduction in levels, and we have more than met that goal!

(Yeah, they are close enough drugs to have similar effects. I've unfortunately had to take courses of prednisone multiple times, mostly for particularly nasty allergic skin reactions. But dexamethasone is stronger stuff and the effects apparently last longer. 👿 I am very relieved to be done taking the shit as of like 6:30 this morning. Probably a few more days of lingering fun to look forward to.)

It was a dramatic enough drop during that first day, that the nurse actually went ahead and reassured us this morning that things were obviously perfectly fine there when I went in for the second steroided-up blood draw.

Gotta say the lab was quick! They drew the samples just before 8:30 again today, and the results were up on the portal when I logged in somewhere around noon. That clinic is right in the university medical center complex, but still.

They took so much blood the first time because the endo also decided to throw in All The Tests while she was at it. Including a bunch of the diabetes-standard ones that she already ordered before the recent routine check-in appointment where she sprung this xenophobic concern-trolling bullshit on me in the first place. Also got expanded kidney and liver panels, what seemed like every other major hormone in my body checked, and a whole new battery of tests prompted by the chronic anemia. A lot of those repeats of what primary care just recently ordered (and she could see the results of) after she kicked that over to their side. At least it was just two tubes for the cortisol and ACTH today.

But yeah, at least nothing out of that huge battery of tests came back looking weird in unexpected ways! I am still slightly anemic, my sodium and potassium levels are still running just barely under range, and a couple of kidney indicators are still looking borderline wonky in a very diabetic way.

(Which seems to be staying pretty stable for years now, not even far off enough that anyone has seemed to feel like it's needed treatment--and it's frankly a miracle that my renal function isn't way more thrashed than that, after the number of years of earlier negligence and uncontrolled blood sugar. Ruined kidneys was honestly one of my big nagging worries while all of that was still going on.)

Anyway, one thing I WAS actually glad and somewhat relieved to see while scrolling through that huge mess of reports:

Because it was primarily a pituitary prolactinoma that I got removed back in high school. And especially with the healthcare mess back in the US? I am not aware of that ever having been checked again within the past 30 years. My family ended up uninsured within a year or two of the surgery, and the last follow-up probably happened in 1992-93. The symptoms thankfully did go away over time--along with the freaking cortisol side bonus staying distant history!

(None of which was the endo aware of when she decided I looked weird enough to constitute a medical problem, I just can't restrain myself from emphasizing again.)

The little fuckers do have a distressing tendency to come back sometimes. But yeah, BTDT and I am pretty confident that I would have noticed if that were causing problems. But, I am still glad for the confirmation that my prolactin levels are fine now.

This whole thing was, indeed, uncalled for. And I am still perversely gratified to be proven right about this, when it's been taking up so much rent-free space in my head. (Thanks, PTSD!) And also to see that I am honestly looking healthier across a whole slew of bloodwork measures than I was half-afraid I might.

[inventors-fair]

"For Each" Commentary: Masses of the Mind

And here's the gist of it: as I've been drafting more, I've been learning that constructed formats are...hard. Very hard. I'm not good at them. On occasion my decks will do decently enough but you know what, if I can match the power level of the same person who can't draw their removal spell because they drafted it too late, then dangit, I'll take the inevitable win/loss/whatever in stride. So what does this have to do with this week? Very little, except that numbers make for an interesting ride.

We did an Eldraine draft—original Eldraine, mind—this Friday. It was incredibly fun, and I think that seeing the board swarm/unswarm and seeing how the numbers affected the board is going to influence this judgment a lot. I have my soft spot for cards of a certain color, as many of you should know by now, because it's been going on for...several years at this point, but regardless, there are some days where I have to step back and just let it all slide. An understanding of a perfect board state, an understanding of the circumstances, an understanding of meta design—it all has to come together. Let's have some fun.

If you're new to the crew or reading through because you've stumbled upon this blog—hello! Also, if you see a card with JUDGE PICK next to it, that means that I liked it enough to go "hey I wanna talk about something real good this card is doing." So let's jump into it.

@arixordragc — Soul Incubator (JUDGE PICK)

The card itself: fantastic design. Should it be mythic, and should it be five mana? That I'm not so sure about. Maybe it's because symmetrical effects have been slightly less favored in recent years—though I'm a fan myself. Aggressive symmetrical effects can really push the gameplay into a place where you're looking at the most complex build, in my opinion. That said, the general effect is lovely. I think that making deaths of creatures matter changes gameplay drastically in any format.

When your opponent's staring down your blockers, trading doesn't seem so good. Boardwipes are even stronger, and shrivel effects make it go from evil to downright repugnant. The 4/4 Horror is an interesting choice as well! Really, that's what makes me like this card a lot. I think that in terms of deck building, this card asks to be built around, or at least it asks of the general black aggro/goodstuff builds that it's included for the sake of itself. Nothing wrong with that, of course, and having the horror there to further your wincon of beating face is a strong choice. The name isn't quite gripping me, although I see where you're coming from—the souls incubate the horror, and it needs a varied diet. That's fair; personally, incubators will always be artifact-aligned for me.

~

@batatafilosofal — Guardian Hydra

Ward keywordal! I'm...going to posit a rhetorical question of why something like hexproof or shroud pseudo-typal hasn't been done before. The fact of the matter is, as with many Bogle effects, it makes for uninteractive gameplay. If you manage to get multiple creatures with ward, then that's all fine, but what's the rest of the deck look like? The answer isn't something that I feel pushes for "fun." Incentivizing difficulties in interaction makes choices matter less.

I do like it in a vacuum, though, or at least the first and third abilities. There's nothing wrong with ward by itself and there's nothing wrong with hydras. I think the first and third ability without the middle jam-it-full-of-ward ability would've been just fine. Implication of ward benefits would affect deck choices and lean into certain color combinations more than straight-up declaring it. I love ward and I love hexproof even more, honestly. I have to abide by my designer senses.

~

@bread-into-toast — Awakened Whirl Turtle

You know, I initially thought of scrying, but there are other effects beyond that. Scrying would potentially mean throwing away cards you want in favor of cost reduction. Commune with Nature or a well-placed Once Upon a Time means you can snag a turn-three 5/5 with ease, on the other hand. I think that having that easy big creature isn't the worst thing in the world, although there are two really big questions that I'm left with. The first is whether or not this would be trying to be some kind of archetype; the second is, if not, how many cards in the set would be able to support it in limited.

As for the first question—well, no, it's kind of answered by the second, isn't it. Or at least they're related, and the point remains that I don't think this card could be supported that well in a limited environment, and feels more awkward than not in a constructed one. Gimmicks are fun and I love it when I can use cheatsy-type effects to make my opponents moan and groan and etc. I'm not sure there's more to it than that at the moment. However, I do want to jam my appreciation for the implied/intended flavor. Throwing the spells away to "feed the turtle" on accident is pretty great.

~

@certification-wizard — Grist, the All-Swarm

There she goes again! Grist is a fun one. I think just having this planeswalker here is a good effort, and tokens-to-loyalty can get out of hand really fast without being too crazy broken. Flavor-wise, there's not much to go on that Grist hasn't already covered, but that's all fine. My first point of note is the wording of the first loyalty ability. Did you check for wording/precedent? I couldn't find anything with the exact template, and even with "copy this ability." Personally, I think it should've been make an Insect, then you may sacrifice a nontoken, and if you do, make another Insect, capital 'I.' Love the flavor of that.

With the second loyalty ability, however, there's only one mono-green card that does multi-mill, and while there are a few black cards that do it, it's not in the hybrid pie. Additionally, that doesn't actually benefit Grist or ask you to build around her exactly. What is this ability doing for you, for the card? Perhaps the implied game state is like Ghoulcaller's Bell, but I don't believe that's enough justification. What could be a green AND black ability that would, fairly, help to win the game or advance the game state for Grist?

~

@halfsilveredmirror — Aether Swimmer

Let's make this a learning moment: when a prompt asks for rules text, that means all text outside of italicized reminder text. On that technicality, this card would be ineligible. Also, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this isn't something that everyone knows right off the bat, and it's within the spirit enough. Allonz-sea-creatures!

From what I can tell, though, hexproof to your spells doesn't actually do anything. I really like how you used affinity on a technical level because, yes, you do "control" spells albeit in a slightly different context than "controlling" artifacts. Hexproof is a static ability of permanents and has no bearing on the stack; hence, why Invisible Stalker can be countered. The wording felt frustrating a little until I realized that that's what you were trying to go for. Sadly, comp rules take issue.

Perhaps this would be a kind of storm build card, perhaps a cheap-creatures deck, perhaps many things. Giving your stuff hexproof is still fine. I'm not sure this card necessarily has a home, however, and it would be a fine flash-protection spell in general without the baggage. For future reference, the Fair inbox is always open for clarifying questions, and the workshop in the Discord is a great resource for technical finagling.

~

@helloijustreadyourpost — Maddening Imp

Yes, it is indeed a maddening little fellow. I've been on the fence about this card and I think this is one of those really unsatisfying conclusions, so apologies in advance: this card is very good but isn't scratching my particular itches for this contest. In a limited environment, it would be pretty great as an aggro card, but that's also assuming you're getting the most benefit by having a) fewer big creatures of your own and b) your opponent having bigger creatures than you in general. I love symmetry. I love mill. This card, though, asks of you to build a deck that assumes a fair amount about the game state.

Is it a sideboard card, then? Probably not, because jeez, it's a three mana 3/2 flier! That by itself is so tempting to just jam into any deck and go wild. And you still can't assume that your opponent is going to be running something big enough to justify it. Heck, what if they're primarily a creature deck, and you never get a hit on them? The ways in which this card can go right are easy to visualize. The ways in which it can just break you even, well, that's fine too. But what I think that I'm getting at has already been stated: it's just not reliable. Jeez, what if you're stuck in a stalemate chump-blocking position... Okay, admittedly, that's kind of funny.

~

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes — Bully the Peasants

The first thing that came to mind for me was Foul-Tongue Shriek. Maybe this card could be more punitive if you have something that requires multiple blockers, but in general, I think that you could have bumped the power level up a little. I personally feel that black should get more stuff that interacts with combat like this, although it does have a LOT of tools in its wheelhouse already.

Let's do the ever-fun questions of flavor. Who is the speaker in the flavor text talking to in the context of the art? The peasants aren't the implied ruler, and they're being, well... Honestly, it's almost comical: "bully" is a pretty lighthearted term for the razing and ravaging that's happening in the art. It's gruesome but juxtaposed with the name and snarky flavor enough that it goes, for me, from funny to incongruous. I don't know who the speaker is supposed to be, I don't know who they're speaking TO, and I'm having a major tonal issue overall. Going into super-seriousness would be fine, or going into more Lorwynian cajoling would be fine too. We're just at a weird place as it stands.

~

@just--a--penguin — Bruna's Illumination (JUDGE PICK)

By itself, I think this card's pretty great, and Innistrad could stand for a Revelation kind of effect—Sphinx's, I mean. Pausing for just a moment here to say that "draw" doesn't need the "You" in front of it in the second bullet. Continuing: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that most people would be using the second mode more often than not. Lifelink is quite fun with these effects, and, well, it's easier to gain cheap amounts of life, looking at Lone Missionary and whatnot. How much life gain you gain before making this card pop off? Even then, saving yourself with a quick lifegain spell hasn't felt bad yet if you can get the crackback.

Is it something to build a deck around, or to incentivize deckbuilding? Honestly, yeah. This one in retrospect was pretty darn close, and I think I wasn't feeling the deck in the same way because there's always a chance that you topdeck this card with no lifegain on board and, well, that's no fun. Plus, what a mana investment—but also what card draw! I'd love to play this in a constructed Azorius control build. I'm also a monster.

~

@nanokore — Assembled Swordsworn

So, this is a smaller multicolor Kemba's Legion. I think that that's unfortunately as much as I can say about the mechanical side of things. Personally, I always liked the Legion effect, and you can check the wording there. It's going to see as much play as the archetype allows and that's perfectly reasonable in the correct world/limited setting, whatever that may be.

On the flavorful side of things, I'd like to take a moment to point out a discrepancy, or at least a place to look for where flavor comes into play. In the flavor text, it's implied that this golem is supposed to be cutting through swaths. However, the mechanics are centered around this creature being a blocker. When matching the mechanics and flavor together, the verbs of your card's mechanics can be key to ensuring the flavor lands. Protection, servitude, guardianship, etc. could serve a multi-blocking swordsworn character in a way that the current flavor has a hard time matching.

~

@piccadilly-blue — Crag Surge (JUDGE PICK)

I don't think it's broken but whoo boy it's asking to be broken. ... IS it broken?? I genuinely don't know. I don't think this card is doing anything that it's not supposed to be doing and I don't think it's doing anything at a higher rate than other, better rituals. The question: how do you get Mountain cards (oh yeah, that's the only technical note, adding "card" there b/c zones) into your graveyard the easiest? And then, how do you get this thing to go bajonkers on the whole ordeal?

I like mono-red. I like discarding cards. I absolutely adore Tectonic Reformation and think it should be run everywhere all the time. Cycle, cycle, cycle, cycle, CRAG SURGE, cycle, cycle, cycle... To what end? I don't care 'cause I love this card. Except maybe cycling into Emrakul and Surging for a zillion to get there. That would be not good. But it wouldn't be broken because it would only be played in formats with interaction so, you know what, I wouldn't worry about it because RRR is a big cost. Unluckily for you, I'm well aware that my tastes for drooling over combos and bad decks isn't relevant to a card's actual goodness. Let's keep this trophy between you and me, then?

~

@railway-covidae — Bisecting Blaze

Doesn't have trample? Harrumph. That's half a joke, but I want to go back here, because on a genuine note, giving a creature a power boost without trample and making it sacrifice doesn't feel good at all. Berserk and Fatal Frenzy are only good because of their trample, honestly, and for five mana, I could potentially do more damage to an opponent with a Fireball, or just another creature.

That said, that's the only thing I would change about this card mechanically; I'd even keep that same cost in, and the same rarity too. Name might have to be something different unless the art and flavor text really spoke to what was being bisected. As for the deck archetype or deck construction, something that plays red and creatures in limited could probably go for it without any issue, ngl. Constructed? Don't hold your breath. Maybe a weirdo Xenagos Reanimator would be happy to have a zillion-jillion creature. ... Actually, no, wait, Xenagos would love this, ha.

~

@reaperfromtheabyss — Crimson Connoisseur

Once more! Once again! A good card that's not quite eyebrow-raising but just plain good. Blood is everything that this card cares about, and it makes blood, and you can either stock up on blood to make this a bigger attacker or you can use 'em to get more cards to make more blood. This one implies that you've already got blood and/or are making blood; I like how it doesn't have evasion, actually. Lifelink it more of a target. The ability to get blood puts this beater in someone's sights but not insurmountably so.

See what I mean? Having played with blood, and having loved blood, blood is wonderful. What do I have to say about this card that blood hasn't already said? For one, the name's pretty great and very standard for vampires. Uh... Man, I guess that's about it. You've activated the trap card of making me want to do an IF cube again without having the spare time to actually go through and do it. Once I get [major project] done, I SWEAR—

~

@sparkyyoungupstart — Endless Hallway

I was honestly surprised that there were so many creatures this go-around, but I suppose I shouldn't be THAT surprised. I liked the massive variety and I do appreciate that. Let's go with the intriguing part of it: black-white walls. Nightmare walls. Actually, pause: before delving into some of my wall-themed problems that my therapist is ostensibly not helping me scale, I want to say that an Endless Hallway being a manifestation of a nightmare is a really cool trick. Nailed that for sure.

What I'm not as keen on is the fact that a) this is a wall without defender, b) the Labyrinth ability word just makes the walls all the more unscalable in combat, which is redundantly frustrating interaction-wise, and c) that last permaremoval ability is...weird. Wait, "is being blocked by?" What would be the point of blocking this wall? Why does it have both a blocking ability and an attack incentive? It has zero power; why would you attack with it? Okay, now that I'm talking about the card as I'm actually reading it and less that I'm going over the things I thought I'd been reading, I'm a little more finger-waggly. This card is mixing some metaphors and could perhaps use a spin on the revision table.

~

@spooky-bard — Curious Creation (JUDGE PICK)

And there we go, a soothing card that's a little bit funny and a little bit I'm worried for the animals. But holy crap, dude, you circumvented the changeling problem brilliantly. Because they're oozes! Creature type matters-ers, rejoice. I know other effects similar have been done before, and I'm ignoring that, because I think this is the best way to just find a deck that plays as many types as possible in order to maximize oozitude. If you've opened this up in limited, chances are that it's just gonna get +1/+1 for each other creature you control, but that's okay! Maybe there are more oozes, or maybe shapeshifters.

I think it's hard for me to place this card crazy high because, in terms of deck construction, it's making me think more of what I'd have to not include over what I could include. For example, would I play two of these? They're both good, but each addition of a cool ooze is a buff that's not, well, buffing it. Still—a small price to pay for something so cute. Seriously cute combination of art direction and flavor text. Lovely stuff.

~

@spore4ever — Unveil the Menagerie

This was the card that came right after in the order that I was thinking of. Okay! So let's solve this problem first. How would you keep everything the same and not have changeling be a factor? I would try this:

"Reveal the top seven cards of your library. You gain 1 life for each creature card revealed this way that doesn't share at least one type with another creature card revealed this way. Put up to two creature cards revealed this way into your hand if they don't share a type with another card pur into your hand this way. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order."

It's not perfect, but you're limited by cards, not types. See? That's the gist of it. I think your art direction really pops and I think the idea is pretty cool. It's...very wordy. Honestly, I would cut down on the specifics if you wanted it to be less of a mouthful, but that's a me thing, and the card still functions well enough for me not to worry about it too much.

~

@stareyedesper — Y'Yzai, Hive Queen

I haven't tried pronouncing this card and I can already say I've never pronounced anything more wrong in my life. Anyway, perhaps the last ability should be "Each creature token you control enters the battlefield with your choice of a flying counter, a vigilance counter, or a trample counter on it" per other Ikoria cards and Capenna commander cards. So there we go! Hm, this does indeed feel commander-y, does it not? Nothing wrong with that—I think it could function as a cool set mythic or a commander showcase card regardless.

Falco's kinda cared about counters before, but tokens specifically? Honestly, this is kind of new territory, so props to ya. Also I just got distracted on Draftsim with New Capenna for half an hour, so there's...well, you can see why commentary gets posted in the evening. With this card, I think that having the flavor of an insect noble and the build-around of mass tokens would be a lot of fun, and none of the three keyword tokens would break it that wide open. Having a buttload of tokens being made all with unique counters might be really busy, though. Perhaps that's something to consider in the long term or at least in the do-I-have-enough-counter-keywords term. Someone's gonna build it, though!

~

@stupidstupidratcreatures — Gurmag Gardening

I actually don't know if this works within the rules as it stands. At least, I'm not sure that it...should? I'm weirded out by this card and it's not in a way that feels grokable. There's an inherent quality to the weirdness that I'm afraid I can't define. Maybe it's the specificity of it that makes it feel weird, or the argument about whether a taxing effect on top of a reduction effect would apply since "reduce" doesn't have an action/verbage in the comp rules (as far as I know) to allow for a card like this.

There's a sense that this card was made from a mechanical standpoint without wider consciousness—i.e. it feels one-to-one connected with delve as a mechanic for the Sultai. I don't really want to build "delve typal" in that sense; delve is a situational mechanic that happens to play off of other identities inherent to the colors in which it sees play. What's the flavor supposed to represent in connection to that? What is the relationship between delve and the world of the card? I'm not convinced there's a bridge yet. I encourage you to really take the time, wriggle out a few iterations, and really nail your card in every aspect. Ask the questions that may not be apparent to you.

~

@wolkemesser — Gatewatch Formation

I will never use the first mode of this card. Straight up, this card is asking for one thing and one thing only: play cheap superfriends, then max them out. I genuinely don't think that the first mode would see play except in the most dire of circumstances, and it wouldn't feel good for a second while using it. Sacrificing planeswalkers never feels good. But doubling them? Or, well, proliferating? I'm with you there. The valorous power of black feels pretty radically morphed here but I suppose that Liliana is trying her best.

The flavor's a bit wriggly too but I see the story effect that it's going for. A planeswalker's only powerful enough to deal five damage, huh? I'll be real, Capt'n Messer, I wanna absolutely abolish something if I'm sacrificing a planeswalker. You could've gone a little more ham with the first mode! Well. The real question is whether planesliferate is going to change the way that I build superfriends decks in my head. You know something? It just might. I may have a BW build and you may have unlocked it with this card. Too bad it's a figment of our collective imagination. But it ain't bad.

Tune in tomorrow when the world will be colored strangely, mottled and gorgeous, for you alone. —@abelzumi

[canary0]

July 11th - Dracula 2023

The Personal Blog of Mina Murray

(A/N: Spoilers-ish for DD in August, sorta; there are deviations and similarities, but better safe than sorry if you want to avoid spoilers below the break.)

I’ve gotten some rest, spent some time with Jonathan, and had a chance to speak with the doctor. I’ll address each in turn, as they mostly flow into one another.

After visiting for a short while after I arrived last night, I had to rest elsewhere. It was difficult to sleep, knowing he was only a couple of blocks away. I went straight back in the early morning, and much to my gladness, he was awake. He still looked tired – infinitely tired, as if despite being safe, there was some weight he was still carrying around – and very thing and pale, but he smiled when he saw me and got up, carefully embracing me despite the IVs. He sat back down a few moments later and looked me over.

I noted that I had seen him wake up briefly last night, and that he had seemed unfocused. He told me, “I had a fever when I first arrived. I was somewhat aware you were there last night, but I thought I might have imagined you in how badly I wanted to see you.”

Despite the direness of the situation, that made me happy to hear, and I am glad he is doing well enough to stand, and his embrace has strength behind. As thin and exhausted as he looked, I worried. I assured him that I came as soon as I could after I got the call and packed. He said something odd, then – he mentioned that he was glad. It meant I was not in England. A very odd thing, as I would think after all this time, getting home would be a top priority. I asked him about it, and he said that, although Romania has, in most respects, been a kind and welcoming place to him, he wishes to be home. He is more concerned for me and our friends. He went silent when I asked why.

After a long while, he said that he wanted me to see for myself… to confirm what he’d seen from new eyes, in the light of day. He said there was a usb drive and a book of rail timetables in the lower cabinet of the side table, and that I should look through both. I promised him I would, and he gave the most wan smile I had ever seen on his face that was before full of determination.

I took the items in question out, but the doctor arrived before I could start perusing them. I rose to shake her hand, and I say with no exaggeration that I only came up to her shoulder, and I am not too short myself. She looked at Jonathan and I with the kindest eyes I had ever seen, though, and I couldn’t help but be put at ease. She first asked Jonathan how he was feeling that day while a nurse came in and drew some blood, and he responded that while he was tired, he was feeling a little better now. She gave a little laugh, and said, “No wonder, Mr. Harker. Good company brings comfort and healing, I think.” She flipped through his chart – printed, I noticed, rather than having a computer to access it near the bed.

She explained as kindly as she could that it’s impressive that he’s in as good a state as he is. Apparently his blood cell count in general is low, but recovering. The universal reduction in cells with normal plasma volume suggests to her that he was certainly in hypovolemic shock, or close to it, at some point in the recent past, some kind of serious blood loss. They couldn’t find any major wounds that would normally cause that, though. Jonathan’s expression was grim, and he simply nodded, letting her go on. She added that he came in with severe dehydration, exhaustion, and exposure, including cuts, scrapes, and bruises that would suggest someone who had traversed the wilderness unprepared. He nodded to that, too, but didn’t comment. She thinks he’ll be stable enough to head home in the next few days, though she emphasized how important making sure he gets plenty of iron, B vitamins, and vitamin C even after that, though, to support recovery from the lingering anemia. He should also be careful to protect himself from disease with the low white blood cell count – basically, pretend it’s still the pandemic for him. I was glad I had come in with a mask just in case.

She also mentioned that the hospital was approached for a DNA test. Apparently there were some disappearances near the town of Prundu Bârgăului, and they had recovered a few hairs from the scene, and there were reports matching Jonathan’s description. No fingerprints, though. I was shocked at the very idea, but Jonathan just grimly gave his permission to do any tests they needed. He didn’t seem surprised.

Eventually, she left, and I pulled Jonathan’s items out of them little cabinet. They were nearly the only things in there – I recognized the set of clothes that were in there, but there were no shoes and just the book and thumb drive. No phone, no computer, no charger or solar cells or his bag. Some old gold, though, which is an odd addition. I’m sure exploring what he wrote will shine light on everything today.

As I opened my laptop and plugged the thumb drive in, he took my hand and said, “Wilhelmina.” Ominous – he’s never called me by my full name almost since we met. “I wrote… a lot in there. My head’s turned around… I don’t know how much of it is real and how much is some wild fantasy I concocted to explain my experiences. Maybe the blood loss affected my mind. I’m tempted to ask you not to open it, to remain ignorant and allow me to remain so. But… I also value your insight. I think you might be able to determine the truth of it in a way I can’t. And I don’t want to conceal anything from you. So… please…”

I closed the laptop and kissed him. I told him, “Let’s wait out that test and get you home first. Give you some time to recover. I don’t like making you wait, but I think it might be easier if we do this together. It sounds like you’ve had a serious shock.”

He looked me in the eyes, and I couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under his. “Yes, that’s… yes.”

–

Thank god. The DNA results are back, and Jon wasn’t a match. Oddly, the local police seem to have left it at that. No one has mentioned coming in and taking statements. It’s like the DNA test was just confirming what they already thought – I wonder if Jon was never a real suspect?

Apparently the disappearances are just one of a long string, the three recent ones – two children, and the mother of one of them – are just the latest.

What’s going on out here?

(A/N: Oh man. With a modern combination of technology and attitude, this just couldn't be the same as August's stuff. Stuff's fresh in Jon's mind, and like I mentioned in another post, we're REALLY in the habit of sharing info these days. So much that it often doesn't occur to people not to.

It's also hard to imagine him keeping her in the dark for the reasons presented in the original book these days. It's not a 'woman heart so delicate' thing, but more of an 'I'm afraid to know and I know you'd have to tell me because it is important to share everything with each other' thing. That's part of why I love JonMina, but it just doesn't make sense these days.

Nor does the police totally doing nothing with multiple disappearances, but they're mostly just confirming that this is a Dracula thing. Dude's been feeding the ladies for a long-ass time, and this is undoubtedly just the latest thing. Most of the old-timers know he's out doing his thing, as I tried to establish early on.

These days I also didn't seem them getting married right as soon as they saw each other again. That also means cute wedding stuff at the Westenra place before The Horrors return.)

[fantasyfantasygames]

HellBlaster

HellBlaster, Black Dog Games, 2009

HellBlaster is a blasphemous game of Satan worship and demon-summoning that will scare your parents and make your pastor faint. It is Totally Metal and evil as fuck. At least, that's what it tells you.

HellBlaster combines some generic devil imagery, LaVeyan Satanism, the games of id software, the more notorious parts of AD&D1e, and a big dose of Judas Priest and Manowar lyrics. Your characters "fight evil with evil". Examples given include burning down a house to kill a serial killer, and summoning a demon just to murder it. There are no real sample scenarios or "here's how you get your band together", it's just assumed that you're all there to kick Satan's ass in the name of Satan or something.

It's class-and-level-based, uses exclusively 6-sided dice, and has stats and skills that are both on the 3-18 range. Stats are Might, Speed, Power, Wisdom, and Cool. Classes include the Demon Summoner, Face Eater, Pyro, and Doom Reaper. Spells and level-based abilities are almost entirely focused around the game's janky combat, and the rules are too. To their credit they slimmed down the rules compared to AD&D1e - no weapon speed factors or encumbrance - but you roll both attack and defense, you roll both damage and damage reduction from armor, you roll both psychic power and magic resistance, etc. It all has twice as many rolls as it needs while still lacking any real tactics. It has detailed critical hits. Explicitly detailed.

The art is... um... evocative of its subject matter. I can't say it's badly drawn, but I can say that I would rather not look at a lot of it. I do like that the interior uses a 2-color process: white paper, black text, day-glow green accenting. It's reminiscent of the green used in DC Comics' Underworld Unleashed crossover, where they had a normal 4-color process but also this really vibrant, fluorescent green.

The spells are described at length. Each one of them is at least half a page, so there are only maybe 80, but you'll know exactly what your character is writing, chanting, and burning while they cast. There are no in-the-moment combat spells; instead you sacrifice something earlier in the day so that you can throw fireballs or call a Razor Demon later on. Everyone gets magic. Some classes are better at it than others, both in terms of power level and breadth. Balance seems ok.

I had a real hard time figuring out whether this game is in on the joke. I knew a fair number of people back in the day who were semi-serious about evil-metal-satan stuff and who would now find this book hilarious, but the book itself has no feeling of tongue-in-cheek. It's all delivered as if it were completely serious about getting you, the reader, into someone's misguided idea of the occult. I'm still not honestly sure how self-aware the book or its author are. I guess it's up to your play group to decide whether you can keep a straight face while having your black-leather-clad Exotormentor cast Devil Scream at a slasher with a demonic conjoined twin.

HellBlaster has two supplements. Devastation of the Lamb is a scenario, and Damnation Highway is a more-demons-and-spells book. If you're looking for any of them, luckily this was published well after the Satanic Panic. A lot of Black Dog Games' work is out of print, but this had a reprint recently enough that you can probably find copies around.

[alarrytale]

My friend: But if they are out and queer celebrities why not look to them for representation instead of insisting someone is gay or not. There’s a lot of indie queer artists that could use a lot of support

I think the difference is no one has had major repercussions with family, social life, business opportunities etc. for being straight but they have for being queer. Which is why I generally don’t answer when people ask me if my friends are gay or straight. For instance, George Michael always gave queer vibes but ultimately ended up being arrested and outed by a cop and it’s not the situation he wanted to be in even if he wanted to do his queer art

"why would straight people project a victim narrative onto two gay people"

Because it makes a more compelling fanfic for straight people to consume. A story about a happy, out gay couple is boring for straight people. It's why certain people only stan men they think are closeted, if there's no "good vs. bad", they're not interested.

Hi, anons!

I'm putting these three ask together since they're about the same topic of conversation.

Some people are closeted and relate more to closeted people. Some people are fans of H and L and are observing that they're gay and unwillingly closeted. They idolise H and L and want them to be happy. They see how miserable the closet makes them, so they want H and L to know that they're seen and heard. Closeted queer artist needs support too. They probably need support more than out queer celebrities do, especially the unwillingly closeted ones.

Anon number two; We are in different times. Outing is severly frowned upon and it hardly happens anymore with celebrities. A fandom can’t out a celebrity. It takes more than that to out someone. You need concrete evidence, picture, video or like George Michael who got arrested for lewd conduct. Or a more recent example, Di*dy.

Also, it's very different being in a supportive environment vs not being in a supportive environment. If people are not in a supportive environment they are closeted for safety reasons or, like you said, because coming out will have major repercussions. Most closeted queer people are closeted for this reason. You can’t even compare that to a millionaire closeted queer celebrity in Hollywood. You can’t compare that to Louis and Harry's situation. It's two completely different things. The only reason people are closeted in the music or movie industry is because of money. They are usually out to everyone but the public too. They have no problem going to West Hollywood to grind on a man or hold their same sex partner's hand at a private party. Their friends and family knows and are supportive. Closeted normal people shouldn't project their own insecurites and feelings of not being safe or suffering major repercussions onto a closeted celebrity. If a millionaire queer celebrity was to come out, there might be a risk of future income loss, but that's not even a given. They most likely would thrive and possibly make even more money. Other than a possible income loss, there would be no major repercussions for them. So please don't compare your own closet to H and L's closet. It's very, very different situations (unless you are a celebrity millionaire that is).

Third anon; But by using the word "projecting" here it implies that straight people, who are the one's projecting a victim narrative, are themselves victims of severe closeting or have negative feelings they're attributing to queer people? The definition of projecting is "the attribution of one's own ideas, feelings, or attitudes to other people or to objects" (source). I think it's dimissive and reductive to claim that L and H's closets and situation is fictional made up by fangirls, and not actually real and what's really happening. It didn’t all start with some straight fan girl making this all up because she needed an outlet for her own negative feelings. It started by H and L screaming for someone to see that they're closeted, together and made to stunt. Claiming straight people are projecting a victim narrative is like saying it's a made up conspiracy with no basis in reality, for straight people to unload their own feelings and for straight people's entertainment. It doesn’t take much looking into to see that, that it's not what's happening at all. I know it's hard to see what appears to be two successful straight multimillionaires as victims, but as i said, it doesn’t take much looking into to see that they are closeted and gay. It's not a made up fangirl fantasy. It's real.

[i-spilled-my-soup]

what are your thoughts on will's (presumed) main insecurity being 'powerless' compared to the other apollo campers? (im saying this prior to reading tsats so ig nothing is really 'confirmed') cus some ppl think it's goofy some ppl think it's interesting

he got minmaxed into damage reduction so i get that he feels insecure around all the dps people around him. but also the "weak but actually op" trope is very prevalent and i. kinda want to see an average built main character? like no fancy tricks? nothing glamorous? it would be so cool if will was killing people without even plague "powers" just really efficient methods of assassination(but i guess riordan wouldn't want kids to know how to do that) kinda goofy but i hope he stays powerless

tangent into my personal response to riordan books

whenever i think abt riordan demigod powers i gripe a little. a decent amount. cause the riordan storyline is a parallel to kids with absent parents, and that the kids are thrust into danger by their parents who don't even acknowledge them, right? and its huge character moment when the kids get even a little recognition, or when the gods straight up appear to talk to their kids? but in ancient myth, thinking homer, virgil, ovid, the demigods have no control of the elements or anything like that. their greatest power is their leverage of godly bias. cause the gods are everywhere. so the ancient trope and riordan trope are pretty much fully contradictory so i can't. it'd hard to add historical interpretation into riordan for me

and. it's so. it's y. you can be so cool without magic.

yes riordan's characters are cool and their scenes are noteworthy because they are flashy. because they can summon waves, and terraform, and shoot fireballs, and it must have been imperative for riordan when writing this series for a younger audience. but now i'm looking at these guys doing it constantly, and their strength keeps increasing, and the physical rebound keeps increasing, and i've . hit a wall in my interest? like no one is weak and no one is making mistakes and the greatest character flaws are jealousy, stubbornness, and... selflessness?

it all feels predictable at this point. like, i could not have predicted that this guy who survived three successive bouts of treason cause of his otherworldly rizz had said flutes were un-liberal as a kid, leading to flutes getting removed from the school curriculum, and also he had a sexy lisp. i couldn't have predicted that two bros would force sparta into their first ever military defeat, the philosopher bro using 3d chess strats in his phalanxes and the bodybuilder bro clutching with his 300 strong gay bodybuilder gang.

but. tsats preview where there's another obscure deity and she wants to hear about these teenagers' love lives? and it all begins with a star wars reference? yeah that's about what i could have expected

it just feels like there's no stakes at this point. i still stand that things would be way more interesting if they just died at this point, cause it's been drilled in that "you were so close to death" "you could have died" "you will die" and so on. but even so somehow i didn't feel much when the side characters or main characters died in hoo or toa?

it could be the direct characterization . riordan , especially in recent days, really loves his direct characterization. i think so, cause i did like the bits in tower of nero when the characters were just being silly and being friends.1!! like. just talking about cows. just throwijg each other around. the good stuff. the characters just feel like flat pngs and riordan adds filters to them every other chapter

tl;dr: my tastes have shifted to out of pocket ancient greek and roman myth/history and i don't enjoy romances

[rantsandsparkles]

Bones and All - Review (Spoiler Free)

So I’ve taken a couple days to really process what I’ve seen and now I’m ready to talk about Bones and All!

I love horror, and I love Chalament so a horror film with Chalamet? Sign me the fuck up! I was really excited to see this movie. Like couldn't wait for the release excited, so I started looking up festivals that were playing it to see if I could go to one and see it early excited. I got lucky and found one near-ish bought tix and was counting down the days to see it. And my screening had a Q&A with Luca, a bunch of the cast and the composers (pic below) ! The movie was also getting overwhelmingly positive reviews , so all of this combined with my anticipation should have set me up to really love this film right?  Right??

Unfortunately, no.... No. It did not. I did not enjoy this film. I really wish I did, and maybe I’ll like it more after a second viewing, but my initial thought was “what the fuck did I just watch”

See there’s a big difference between hearing a movie is about cannibalism and seeing a movie about cannibalism. If its unclear to anyone reading this , they are definitely straight up killing people and eating people in this movie. And there are many, many close-up shots of characters eating hunks of flesh off a recently deceased or still living body. To be fair, to sum the movie up to just being about cannibalism is incredibly reductive. More broadly its really supposed to be a love story about finding someone who loves and accepts you as you are and how that can change your life, but I'll talk more about that that later.

Putting the cannibalism of it all aside... I will say that because its a Luca Guadagnino film, predictablity the film is beautifully made. There is something so arresting about the contrast of such a beautiful film with such violent subject matter. Also because it's Luca, he can get incredible composers like Trent and Atticus to make a fantastic score on a small budget. And again, because its Luca, and he’s able to get some of the best actors in the world to work for him on a small budget. The performances in this movie are all top notch. Not a single weak link. Mark Rylance  plays a really creepy, almost endearing, older man that takes an incredible turn. Timmy is classic Chalamet in this; vulnerable, charismatic, a little awkward at times, incredibly sexy in others, emotional and ultimately utterly devastating. Taylor Russell is just stunning. The camera freaking loves her and she has this uniqueness about her, unlike any other actress I’ve seen lately. Like a quiet power, a kind of commanding meekness? I don’t know how to describe it. It was giving me strong early J-law winters bone era vibes.

Back to the romance bit. My main issue with this film is the Taylor and Timmy pairing. I just did not get romantic chemistry between these characters. The movie doesn't give you much time to see it blossom, we're just meant to believe that it happened and it's like "oh they're in love now". There was more chemistry between Timmy’s character and another character in the middle of the story than there was between these two, and I think that is one of the reasons the movie didn’t work for me as a whole. If the movie is really about finding solace and through love and connection despite your flaws, then audience really needs to buy the romance. Because cannibalism is a one hell of a flaw to overlook. But I wasn't invested in their romantic relationship at all. I would have been more, dare I say sympathetic to them eating people lol and down to ship it even if I was. But since I wasn’t invested I was left feeling like "uhhhh is no one going to arrest them??? They're dangerous!!"

I will definitely be going to see it again when its officially released in theaters, but as of now I am left scratching my head. What is everyone else is seeing that I am missing? This should have been right up my alley so I went in expecting to be fed, but I left feeling famished.

5/10

[mosspapi]

Vent post feel free to ignore me lmao (TW for long discussion of sh, blood mention)

Honestly I'm so upset with myself rn. Like. I knew I was being unrealistic by telling myself I'd be able to stay clean for the entire summer immediately after I was doing it every single day for 8 months straight. That just wasn't gonna happen and I knew that when I set the goal. But it felt like I needed to as a safety concern bcuz idk what will happen if I'm found out right. But once I did it here the first time and didn't immediately get caught and locked up my brain has decided to completely throw even Pretending to try to stay clean out the window and I know I can't keep getting away with this. And I don't Want to. I don't Like feeling like I'm lying and hiding things. I didn't care when I was away for uni, where nobody would ever know and I could do whatever I wanted without feeling guilty for it. And I'm pretty good with harm reduction, I know how to manage myself with it, and it didn't really feel out of control until March or April so I wasn't having much of a Real problem with it, at least for myself. I know I have a problem lmao but it wasn't Effecting me. But I can't do any of that here and I don't like how that feels. I already have several bloody tissues shoved into my backpack bcuz I can't get rid of them without getting caught and worrying people or getting sent away. And I know my family already has enough on their plates, they don't need to add this back into it all again. And what's worse is I think I'm worrying my dog, every morning after I do it she comes up to me and gets really fucking affectionate and she looks so concerned and it just makes me fucking sick. Like she doesn't know what's going on, all she knows is she can smell blood on me and that's a bad thing so I need help and since no one else is she's trying to help me. Even if it maybe isn't that deep in reality, that's how it feels. And it makes me sick that I'm doing that to her yknow. So I seriously need to get it the fuck together and at least make a fucking attempt at stopping. You'd think after being clean* for almost 6 years it wouldn't be hard to go back to being clean but my brain hasn't been right since the most recent strep I had, getting strep always makes me relapse bcuz of my stupid autoimmune disorder, but it never fucking went away after this time and I've never had this big of a sh problem before, even when I was at my worst. I've done it 10x as much in the last 8 months as I did in my entire life before then. Yes. I counted. And sure I've probably not done it nearly as much as other ppl, people who 'really' struggle with it, but if I were left on my own I know I'd hit those really high numbers within the year. And it's already 10x as much as what they were willing to institutionalize me for, so clearly it's not insignificant. Like I'm proud of myself for lasting as long as I have been in between sessions, I've consistently gone 4+ days without doing it and I'm proud of that, and I'm not even necessarily upset with myself for Doing it because I know that's not gonna help and I wasn't expecting to never do it, I'm just upset with myself for completely giving up on being clean for the summer entirely and am just doing it anyways. I'm upset that I've given up. That's really all it boils down to. And I'm not Trying to give up, but when my brain is given an inch it'll take a mile. But I'm not in a position to NOT give it that inch right now. Idk man it's just so fucking hard and I'm trying my best but I can't seem to fuckjng figure it out. Idk where I was going with any of this I'm just upset and frustrated and I need to start at least Trying again. Because I can't keep doing this. Not while I'm in this house.

[donttakeitsopersonal]

Seeing internet drama like… match up or I suppose mirror the subplot of a webcomic I’m reading is so so fascinating. I mean it’s like drama that we’ve seen a bazillion times if you’ve spent enough time in the right circles but idk seeing it playing out too with real people got me thinking again.

Waffles under cut

Ima keep it vague even tho im an absolute nobody, knowing my luck, this will breach containment and then my unorthodox new ways of thinking will ruffle feathers haha but yeah.

Essentially the comic is about the aftermath of a murder and how people are living their lives after that. One of the accomplices is free and living their life and they’re also online. People find out and bully them, someone even suggested deleting their accounts and going offline for a while, but they don’t want to. One thing that is brought up with it is everyone keeps telling them they got to take accountability, which is true. But that’s got me asking well what does that look like? Like it can really look a lot of different ways but watching irl drama play out it makes me wonder if anything will ever be good enough for people. Like I’ve even seen this same scenario play out many times and there’s usually always a vocal group who just want the guilty party to be forever guilty. Is it good enough for them to take accountability, apologize, and rectify their behavior? (I’m talking low stakes drama here not like heinous abuse lol) it just really feels like if you ever make a tiny misstep online that’s your cross to bear forever. I feel like it’s very reductive and doesn’t allow the person to grow and change, which, isn’t that what we want? For people to grow and change and better themselves? Like idk man at this point in time if you can’t show me examples of someone doing XYZ shitty thing within the last year, like yknow something recent, I really couldn’t give a flying sideways fuck. If someone said “hey I did XYZ at this time and that was fucked and shitty and I’ve worked to change myself” and they haven’t done XYZ and did work to change themself, then idk man you sound incredibly immature and like you gotta mind your own business. Like it’s perfectly fine to be like “I don’t like this person they’re icky to me” that’s fucking fine you don’t need a good reason to not like people they can just give you general ick, water and oil don’t mix and you won’t like everyone you meet. You don’t have to be a bully tho 🙄🙄

OMG lemme waffle about other silly drama I saw that’s just like oh myfuckingod you do not need to and also hey wait a minute. So this one car influencer who is a very mean girl that’s also mean to other women while trying to present as a ✨Girl’s Girl✨™️ has had this, I shit yall not, YEARS beef with this other gal. So two face (that’s what ima call her lol) years ago, like BC(before covid) times TF was doing modeling and mechanic work, wow femme model on car soooo original /s 🙃so at this point in time she was actually a ✨Girl’s Girl✨™️, or at least pretended like it well enough lol, and was friends with some other blue collar girlies. She said she’d help them start their own OFs if they wanted and one took her up on that offer. Idk what happened exactly but TF started accusing said girl that she was copying her and taking her business. And like this was all so funny to me because like this just gave me DeviantArt sparkledog furry drama circa. 2007, like legit “yOu CaNt PaInT yOuR cAr PuRpLe!!11 YoU cOpIeD!!!!2!11!” Like bro this is straight up “you copied my design because you also have stripes on your tail” like day one internet shit, get with it girl. But also this is funny too because I seen her at that time basically copy someone else’s video like cmon. So anyways that basically made their friendship implode on itself and she has since then had a vengeance on this poor girl lol so here’s the nutty part, TF will constantly say “this girl is always copying everything I do, I saw her doing XYZ” which like is kinda inconspicuous when you hear it but then it’s like wait, you say you do not like this person, you try and avoid them, so on and w/e so it’s like wait,,, HOW do you know that??🤨unless you’re checking out her page and following what she does 👀 sussy. And like the other gal she’s cool and nice, we’ll call her GG, but I NEVER see her saying SHIT about TF unless TF did something like get her page flagged or something, which I feel is normal. And like mind yall this has been going on for over the span of years. So being an outside spectator to this all I seriously think TF is projecting onto GG, at least with the “oooh you stalking my page waaah” like girl idk you the only one posting videos about someone else 👀and also I feel like TF feels like I wanna say attacked but not really, maybe more like GG makes TF feel inadequate? But like I feel like seeing GG’s journey it’s what TF have strived for, like GG was a dealer mechanic, and now has her own shop with her mans and their friend. Like TF has only ever worked at like quick lube places and I think very very briefly at a custom shop or something. Like a month or less. And while I can say TF can perform the work, she is not what I would consider a high level mechanic. Like you just realistically have not seen that many cars, you’re not going to see the normal stuff that comes into places you’re not going to have that experience. Yeah working on your own stuff gives you skills a dealer or shop won’t but there’s far more you’ll learn in a shop, and I feel like deep down she knows that and feels threatened by it. Cause like girl why the hell else would you be paying so close attention to this game that you’d clown on her miscarrying like brruuuuuhhhhh you did not have tooooooooo 🥴🥴🥴that VIDEO could’ve stayed in the drafts😶 the fact she made a video too is big YIKES. But wow yeah it’s nutty asf, reality is stranger than fiction