#i’m kind of really sad about how much time is just gone this year

[halfelven]

sooooooo anyone else’s spotify wrapped totally showing their mental breakdown this year?

[romance-incubomp3]

aghhhh:(

[forestslut]

ooooog

[mammomlette]

OBEY ME OLDER BROTHERS AS SOULMATE TROPES!

part 1 part 2 part 3 (WIP rn)

Includes: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, GN! Reader/MC, possible cringe

Notes: This is literally my first ever fan fic I’ve published (if head cannons count as fan fics lmao) so apologies for any mistakes or weird formatting! Constructive criticism is more than welcome, I’m ASKING for it if you have any🙏

Alsoo they just kept getting longer and longer, I don’t know why and I’ve gone through lucifers to try and make it longer but I just can’t so sorry😭

LUCIFER: you can’t see their eye colour until you meet them.

* It wasn’t really that bad, being unable to see red.

* Being unable to see the colour of your blood as it oozed out of a cut wasn’t really that bad, even if it just looked like grey tar pouring out instead which is equally gross

* It wasn’t really that bad to just never be able to see a single colour, everyone had to put up with it at some point

* But it was sad how rose bouquets always looked dull, and how hearts would always be grey

* It was sad how you couldn’t just imagine up a new colour to fill the void that not being able to see red left

* You knew that the colour you couldn’t see was called red, and you could learn as much as you’d like about it but that didn’t meant you could imagine it let alone see it for yourself

* Not until you were teleported into a large, court-like room one day

* You looked up from whatever you were doing and stared up at the man who had begun to cheerfully talk in front of you. His hair was that familiar gray that you recognised as red

* He introduced you to your situation and the school, and in your panic your eyes darted across the room

* Then, you suddenly made eye contact with a man in a dark coat, hair a matching colour and eyes that were also a dark colour

* but a new dark colour

* Not that gray you had been familiar with your whole life, but a fierce mix of orange and pink, the way the colour red had been described to you your entire life

* You saw through your periphery some orniments on the wall and the previous man’s hair and jacket come to life with colour, but you couldn’t pull your eyes away from the dark haired man before you

* He had frozen, just like you, afraid to blink, afraid that he’d lose this enticing new colour again after missing it for so long if he were to let it go for less than a second

* When he finally looked away, he saw how different decorations in the room that had previously been gray lit up with the colour of your eyes, the world never seeming so alive in all the thousands of years of his life as they did in that moment

* For the first time in his incredibly long life, he saw the beauty that was your eyes and all the beauty they brought with them.

MAMMON: the red string of fate.

* Your entire life you had been accompanied by that obnoxious red string.

* Whenever you glanced down to your non-dominant hand, the first thing you noticed was the red string all tangled up and wrapped around your hand

* Sometimes you’d get bored and tie nots in it or rest it on a surface and pull it to make shapes, but as soon as you took your attention away from it it’d return to normal, pointing in the direction of your soulmate

* And for some reason, the direction would always be down

* Not always directly down, sometimes diagonal, but it always managed to go into the ground.

* Was your soulmate miner or something???

* You had tried and tried countless times to follow it, going into basements and even considering going cave exploring in case your soulmate was some kind of cave creature trapped down there

* There was even a time you considered that they could be in hell, because where else could they be that’s so low down?!

* You had grown to hate it, the way it would taunt you and while it showed your friends their soulmates, it just showed you the dirt on the ground

* Hopes of finding your soulmate and curiosity to where they could be grew into despair, concluding that your soulmate was either a mole person or dead

* Both results meant that you’d never meet them and would forever be tormented by that hideous, obnoxious, torturous red string that was eternally tied to your ring finger

* You were waiting in a lobby for a job interview when you suddenly popped into the devildom

* A man was happily introducing you to the courtroom(?) and all of the people sat inside of it

* There was a man named Lucifer, followed by his younger brothers, all of which noticeably sharing names with demons. This place was called the Devildom, they’re demons, is this hell?Someone must be pulling your leg or something, right?!?!

* You were cut of from your thoughts by the dark haired man- Lucifer- telling you to call his younger brother.

* You hesitantly took the phone-like device called a ‘DDD’ from Lucifer’s hands and dialed the number you were told to, fidgeting with the string on your ring finger that nobody else could see

* You waited for Lucifer’s younger brother, Mammon, to show up, still fiddling with the string, when you felt a sudden jolt on the string

* You looked down, to see the string moving slightly, left to right to slightly up, and noticed that it was no longer going into the ground. It was right at the doorway to the room.

* A man stormed into the room, immediately charging in your direction and shouting about your ‘nerve’ to summon ‘the great Mammon’

* Safe to say the shouting died down when he took a look at your hand and noticed how your strings were connected

* Awkward silence filled the air until it was interrupted by the Avatar of Lust, cooing at the situation when he put two and two together and realised what was going on

* You were too focused on the red string connecting you to his hand to noticed the red slowly covering mammons face

* Internally, you laughed. Of course you found your soulmate in Hell.

LEVIATHAN: you make choices for your soulmate.

* You woke up to the sun shining through your curtains. Your soulmate, for whatever reason, didn’t allow you to shut your blinds. He didn’t even decline it, just left it on read.

* Why did you even have to request to do something so mundane?!

* Your soulmate forgetting to respond to your requests was a common occurrence, usually in the morning, but any time could be victim to your soulmates negligence to your requests.

* You went downstairs and opened your fridge and grabbed the first thing you saw: a pancake filled with red bean paste, in a box labeled ‘Azuki-tan, cute companion!’

* You had zero clue what that meant, you just remembered seeing it for sale at a grocery store a couple days ago

* Again, you had to send a request to your soulmate over whether you could eat this or not.

* Almost immediately, it was accepted. You didn’t really stop to think about the fast reaction time to the request, just thankful this wasn’t another ignored request

* Just as you were about to put it into your mouth, you were teleported to a large room that resembled a court room and contained a lot of chairs and 6 scary-looking men

* You kind of zoned out for most of that discussion until you started asking questions, but safe to say the pancake was forgotten, still in your hand.

* You made your way to where you would be staying with the demon assigned to look after you, Mammon, when a request from your soulmate popped up:

* ‘Soulmate would like to: Ask his brother for his money back.’

* You accepted, wondering what harm could be done, and entered the building with Mammon.

* You were just chatting with the white haired boy when all of a sudden a boy with purple hair started yelling at him “How about this? I vote for YOU to die, Mammon!”

* They started to yell at each other about money, which you found to be an odd coincidence. Would this even be considered as asking for money though? It’s more like bullying.

* You watched the argument unfold and brought the pancake to your mouth, about to take a bite, when the purple haired boy froze and stared at you, which made you stand there awkwardly with your mouth about to bite into the pancake for a few seconds waiting for him to say something

* “Is that Azuki-tan?!”

* “Umm… I think that was on the packaging… why?”

* Very awkward. Oh look, a request!

* ‘Soulmate would like to geek-out about Azuki-Tan and The Magical Ruri Hana: Demon Girl franchise.’ You accepted. How random.

* You had no time to ponder the randomness of the request because the purple haired boy, Levi as Mammon had introduced him, began to spout random nonsense about the pancake? No, a girl called ruri hana- wait no, now he’s going on about voice acting- who’s that voice actor?- wait what show is he going on about now?!?! You really wanted to tell this guy to slow down or shut up!

* He paused for a quick moment and pressed a button in the air, continuing with his tangent when you yelled at him to just slow down!

* He paused. He stared into your soul. He looked like he was rebooting, or something.

* “You’re my soulmate?” He said, voice shaky. You asked him what he meant, and he just started going on a rant about an anime where this very thing happened and- he’s off topic again, he’s going a mile a minute! You asked the voice in your head ‘can I please tell him to shut up?!’

* He stopped and stared at you, now yelling how you were asking him to shut up and how rude than was!

* Oh shit. He’s right? He’s your soulmate? And you just asked your soulmate to shut up the annoying guy in front of you?? Whew boy.

* You awkwardly mutter apologies to eachother, flustered, both the pancake and his older brother forgotten.

[kaleldobrev]

Please Don't Leave

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: Dean's lucky to have you in his life and honestly doesn't know what he would ever do without you

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Cursing (3x), Fluff, Vulnerable/Angry Dean

Authors Note: The gif makes me sad | This might seem a little non canon but at the same time I honestly feel like Dean would react this way (fight me if you want, but I said what I said) | I just love this man so fucking much | Dream/Flashbacks are in italics | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

Dean didn’t have a lot of consistencies in his life, but you were one of them. Out of everyone he had known in his life, you were one of the only people that had remained with him through all the heartbreak, all of the death, all of the blood, sweat, and tears that this life had. You had been through it all with him: Sam going to Stanford and leaving him behind, his fathers death, him selling his soul, the year that Sam went to Hell, the year the two of you were in Purgatory, the few months he was a demon, his bloodlust fueled by the Mark, him being possessed by Michael. He had an endless list of things that the two of you had been through together, things that would cause any normal or rational person to throw in the towel; but not you. “You can’t get rid of me Dean Winchester, not even if you kill me yourself.” You had joked. And that was something that he had almost done – and on several occasions too. And yet, you never left him. “I guess I’m just stupid.” You said. “Or maybe the sex me and you have is just that good.”

The sex he had with you, now that was something. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced; and he has had quite a lot of sex during his lifetime (not that he bragged about it of course). When the two of you initially met, it was only supposed to be a working relationship, a friends with benefits sort of deal. But eventually it turned into more. He wasn’t sure where him or you had gotten your wires crossed but they did; and it turned into you and him always finding each other at the end of the night regardless of the different men and women that had hit on both of you at the bar you two were at.

The sex used to be quick, usually done in either a drunken haze or after a tough hunt. But it eventually turned into something that either one of you would initiate through soft touches: a kiss on the forehead, a simple hand hold, or cuddling into each other. Once, in the middle of sex, he wasn’t sure why he had said it but he did. He kind of just blurted it out. “I love you.” Now that was something he never thought he’d ever say during sex before. But here you were beneath him, staring up at him with those doe eyes of yours that you frequently had during sex and said, “I love you too.” It was something he didn’t expect.

Dean didn’t know what he could or would possibly do if you weren’t in his life; and that was something he didn’t want to think about. But it was something that has been an unavoidable thought as of late. Waking up to you was one of the worst but best things after a nightmare of losing you. He would wake up in a panic, his heart racing, sweating; afraid that you were gone for good this time. But without fail, every single time you would be right there next to him. Either sound asleep or awake enough to tell him, “It’s okay, I’m right here.” He would always reply the same way. “Just…please don’t leave.” It was a simple yet complicated sentence. “I’m not going to. I’d never leave you.” Those words that you always uttered back should have been comforting to him, but it was just an empty promise – even though he knows that’s how you never intended it to sound. In your heart you loved him deeply, and he knew that. He knew that you’d never leave him; the two of you have been through everything together. But when it came to this life, it was hard to make and keep promises like that.

“Dean, I just can’t do this anymore I’m sorry.” Your words had cut into him like a knife. Like he’d been shot hundreds of times. The torture he received from Hell combined with the loss of his mother was child’s play compared to what he was currently feeling. He just started blankly at the two duffel bags at your feet as you stood in the doorway of the room the two of you shared. Well, formally shared that is. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” You asked, your question snapping him out of whatever trance he was in.

“There’s nothing to say.” Of course there were hundreds, no thousands of things that he had wanted to say to you, but he knew that he couldn’t say any of it. As much as he wanted to beg for you to stay, he wasn’t going to make you stay. Once you made up your mind that was it; there was no convincing you.

You looked at him with a confused expression. “You don’t even want to know why I’m leaving?” You asked, and Dean simply shook his head. “Why not?”

“It doesn’t really matter.” He tried to keep his voice even, to make you believe that he was okay. But he could tell that you knew he wasn’t (you knew him long enough to know when he was or wasn’t okay).

“Dean.” You said, your voice sounding more heartbroken than his.

“It’s alright. You don’t…you don’t have to explain yourself.” He said, taking a seat on the bed you two once shared.

“I feel like you deserve an explanation. We were together for almost twenty years Dean.” You sat down next to him on the bed. He had just wanted to push you away or wrap you in his arms. Two completely differently reactions, but that’s the way he felt. “Dean.” You touched his shoulder and he flinched, you quickly removed your hand. “I love you, and I know you know that but –”

“Please just…stop talking. I really don’t want to hear what you have to say.” His voice was more hurt now, and he could feel himself trying not to say or do anything that he was going to regret. He wanted to cry, but he didn’t want you to have to see that, despite seeing him do it so many times before. “Just, leave if you’re going to leave.” You didn’t move, simply just staring at him. “Go!” He snapped, and that’s when you got up.

You walked over to your bags, slinging one over your shoulder and holding the other one in your hands. “Goodbye Dean.” You said, before walking out of the room. For a while he heard the sound of your boots down the hall, but they suddenly became faint, almost inaudible. The Bunker door opened and closed again. You were gone. Gone for good this time.

“You said you’d never fucking leave.” He whispered to himself. “Said you’d never fucking leave me.” He pounded the bed with his fist. “You fucking lied!” He got up from the bed and he felt himself start to lose control; no longer in control of the emotions that had been building up when he had started watching you pack up your bags.

Dean woke up abruptly, sitting up. He was panicked, his heart racing. His breaths were heavy, his chest moving up and down. He rubbed his face, trying to fully wake himself up. There was no way he would be getting back to sleep for a while; not after that nightmare. “Y/N -” he began to say as he looked over to his right side; your side of the bed. You were gone. “Sweetheart?” He asked, his hand reached out and touched the emptiness next to him: it was cold.

He looked up at the door to the bedroom which was slightly ajar. The only light in the room came seeping in from the hallway. He didn’t remember having the door open, the door was always shut whenever the two of you slept. Despite how safe the Bunker was, sleeping with the door closed added an extra layer of safety, not just for him, but for you as well.

A shadow appeared, blocking some of the light. He reached over and opened the drawer of his nightstand, slightly gripping his gun that he always kept there. Before he could fully wrap his hand around the weapon you squeaked inside the room and shut the door again quietly. A huge amount of relief washed over him in that moment as he let go of the gun and closed the drawer. “Dean?” You questioned, upon hearing the drawer close. “Baby are you okay?” You asked, walking to sit on his side of the bed. He looked at you as you placed a hand on his cheek. Your eyes full of worry.

“You were…” his eyes flickered to your side of the bed that had been empty when he woke up before looking back at you again. “You were gone. When I woke up you…”

“It’s okay. I’m here.” You reassured him, your voice calm.

“Where did you go?” He asked tiredly.

“The bathroom. I really, really needed to pee.” You said, Dean chuckled a little at your comment. “You know I wouldn’t willingly leave you right?” You reassured him again. You felt him nod in your hand.

“I know.” His voice sounding just a hint sad. “I uh, I feel stupid for freaking out.” The sentence was a whisper.

“There’s nothing to feel stupid about Dean.” Another reassurance. Dean had every right to react the way he did; he had lost so much, even before you had met him. You had been with him through everything. Witnessed so much loss and endured just as much. “Was it a nightmare?”

He nodded. “Yeah. It was the…the one where you break up with me.” You hated that one just as much as he did.

“I’m never going to break up with you. I love you too damn much.” You said, giving him a smile. You crawled into bed next to him getting underneath the covers. “Come here.” You held out your arms for him, and without hesitation he went into them. He wrapped his arms around your torso and rested his head on your chest; your arms wrapping around the back of his neck. Your fingers started playing with his hair, gently massaging his head.

The two of you sat there in silence, both of you with your eyes closed. You weren’t sleeping, but you were unsure if he was. Even if he wasn’t, his breathing was starting to get more even, he was starting to calm down. Hearing the sound of your heartbeat always calmed him down. “Y/N?” Dean asked.

“Yes my love?” You asked, opening your eyes.

He looked up at you briefly, tiredly. “I know I don’t tell you enough but…I’m really lucky to have you in my life. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.” He kissed your neck, as that was one of the only spots he could currently reach.

“I’m lucky to have you in my life too.” You responded, giving him a kiss on the top of his head.

“And Sweetheart?” He asked again.

“Yeah?” You asked.

“Thank you…thank you for not leaving me.” His voice sounding a little pained. The sound of this sentence had broken your heart a bit. Leaving Dean was never an option for you, no matter what had happened between the two of you. Being with him wasn’t easy, but you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. He was your person, the love of your life, your soulmate. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You kissed him on the top of the head again, and you could feel his smile.

That night, Dean didn’t have another nightmare, but he did dream. He had one of his favorite dreams; one that always gave him a sense of calmness and normalcy. The two of you would be just lying in bed together watching some random horror movie on tv. It was something that the two of you have done hundreds, no, thousands of times, so there would be no reason why it would be his so called favorite dream. What made it his favorite though was purely based on one small detail, a detail that made it known to him that it was in fact a dream: wedding rings would be on both of your fingers.

Someday maybe, he thought.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 @jackles010378 If you'd like to be on a tag list, just message me!

[targaryenluvs]

VICTORS SPOILS

pairings: dark!finnick odair x fem!capitol!reader

warnings: obsession, following/stalking, creepy behaviour, naive/younger reader, age gap, (reader is 19 and finnick's around 25), non-con touching and kissing, manipulation, bj mentions/insinuations, sex mentions, prostitution mentions, finnick lowkey preying on you - descriptions of brown reader (i was self indulgent since i’m indian 😁) condescending/nit picking mother and pushy parents!

summary: a victor should be celebrated! a victor should get what ever they wish, even if it’s a sweet capitol girl who misplaced her kindness in someone who was in desperate need of reprieve and distraction.

a/n: ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!! HERES A GIFT FROM ME TO YOU ❤️GUESS WHO MADE HER OWN LITTLE HEADER GAHH!! i tried my bestttt - ive been away for a littleeee!! sorry babes <33 it was like 3am and i cooked this up in my head before opening my brewing pot (notes app) and jotting it down - NOT PROOFREAD

the hall was so loud.

they always were at capitol parties. your mother and father always dragged you along, stating that a young lady should be getting out, meeting people, friends, becoming well versed and established in the capitol. and that they wouldn’t always be here. “you need to learn to be alone, fend for yourself and stand your ground. how are you gonna do that if you’re always trying to keep to yourself dear?” your mother sweetly smiled as she looked over you, “i think you still have time to change that dress, not the most flattering sweetie.”

you scoffed as she walked away ever so elegantly. you looked over yourself in the mirror, the green dress was gorgeous, to you at least. but the blue dress your mother had chosen was breath-taking, as much as you hated to agree with her opinion. so you bit your tongue and put the chosen dress on.

mother knows best right?

the sun was setting with an especially beautiful array of colours to which you figured no one would really notice you were gone if they were all focused on something else. there was probably a screen upstairs which you could watch something on. a few things to eat and drink then you’d head up there.

finnick was glancing over to you the whole night. you’d worn blue, and he’d taken it as an ode to him. you hadn’t looked over at him yet but your leaving of the party seemed like an invitation to him to finally introduce himself.

as you settled down on the plush couch you felt all your tensions melt away. but finnick wouldn’t leave you alone for long. “i’m sorry i didn’t know this was occupied.” finnick looked sad and you had no clue why, so being as nice as you are had you opening the room in invitation to him. “no, no! i just wanted to get away from the party. you’re welcome to sit with me finnick.” it felt odd to you for some reason, calling him by his name as if he was a friend. you’d only ever seen him through screens and from afar yet he looked as amazing as always.

“are you sure?” you nodded and smiled, moving down the couch to make room for him. he sat down, respectful of your space. he looked drained and you felt the same way. “tired of the party?” you asked as he smiled and nodded, “a lot of people asking a lot of questions.” you spoke, “everyone has something to say or ask. my dad told me he got three men asking for my hand. we haven’t even been here for two hours. it’s like being in a room with vultures. and if i do accept i’ll just be, nothing. someone stuck to the side of some ugly guy who just wants a pretty face.” you didn’t know what it was about him but you felt as if you could tell him anything.

and he sat, and listened. nodding his head and adding it where appropriate. it felt, nice. having someone actually listen to what you said rather than just asking what you were wearing. he was nothing like what you expected. you’d heard the whispers. that he was a playboy, he was with and had been with multiple women and men over the years. and that he liked it, the gifts, the people, the uhm, other aspects.

“but you, i’m sure you have people to meet, scope out.” you wanted to curl up and die as soon as the words left your mouth. “no! oh my god, i do not mean it like that. you- i- you should not feel ashamed of what you like. i am so sorry- i didn’t mean to imply-” god would you stop droning on? finnick pressed his lips into a thin line, “hey it’s okay. you’re fine. in all honestly, i know everyone has mis-conceptions of me.” you took his place in attentive listening as he explained the truth.

the threats, the people pawing at him, him being sold from fourteen.

you were crying. it all sounded unbelievable and unbearable for someone to go through at such a young age, his life was ruined all because he was pretty, desirable. no child should even have to think of such things let alone experience them. and rather than you comforting him, he was sitting with his arms around you. he was too good to be true.

“i- no i’m so sorry that happened to you finnick. i had no clue, no one does. you are such an amazing person, from the little time i’ve known you. you don’t deserve any of this. how could you get away from this? we could- we could expose snow we could-” finnick cut you off with teary eyes, “there’s nothing we can do. trust me, if there was i would have tried. but i think, if i got married perhaps. i’d have a reason to stay away from the captiol. we’d live in district four, in peace.”

the idea was pretty decent, you’d give him that. and you couldn’t help your heart running a little faster at the prospect of potentially marrying him. you were already fast friends, at least you’d marry a friend? even if he potentially loved someone else or you loved another.

“what if- if you married me?”

he’d hoped you’d say that.

“you’d do that for me? seriously?” finnick faked shock as you nodded, “we’re friends, i’d much rather marry you than anyone else here to be honest. we could be happy.” you smiled as he wiped away his last tear. “y/n, that’s an amazing idea.”

your wedding was marvellous.

your parents pushed out buck after buck, no expense spared for their little girl. as if they actually cared for you. your wedding dress was white and pristine, courtesy of snow. your brown hair in curls and your brown skin glistening. but you added blue accents for finnick, or you thought you did. it’s not like he pushed for you to wear the things he bought by incessantly reminding the makeup artists and helpers that you were marrying the finnick odair, his wife deserved nothing but the best.

you stood infront of a friend, smiling, happy to be marrying a kind soul.

he stood in front of the object of his affection, his desire and love.

in the first few weeks you were undeniably happy, finnick was as sweet as ever and respected you. it was your best outcome. but overtime you seemed to notice changes in his behaviour. when you’d want to go out into town for dinner he’d always have an excuse up his sleeve.

“there’s roadworks towards your favourite restaurant honey. maybe another time?”

“apparently they’re all booked out, maybe in a few weeks time?”

“wouldn’t you rather have a home-cooked meal? i made your favourite sweetheart.”

it began to annoy after the sixth time. “it can’t always be busy can it? we use to go all the time, and it’s not like they’d refuse you finnick. what’s going on?”

“i give you everything you could ever want. why the hell do you want to go out so much? am i not enough? are you- are you seeing someone?” finnick slumped in his seat.

your eyes widened as you rushed over to him, settling on your knees as your hands were placed on his thighs, “finnick how could you say such a thing? i would never do that to you. i swear there’s nothing going on, i just, i’m bored. i’d like to go out with you, explore your district with you, meet new people with you.” finnicks eyes burnt into yours. this is certainly not how he first wanted to see you on your knees, but at least you were whining.

“yeah? you like me? you promise there’s nothing going on?” you nodded dumbly, “yes yes! nothing i promise.” finnick looked down at your hands in his lap, “how do i know you’re not lying?” your hands were on his knees as you straightened your back, coming closer to his eye level, “i promise finnick. you are my husband, i’m with you. i’ll do anything to prove it to you.”

finnick was fighting off every muscle in his cheeks to not start grinning whilst the sad look on his face was breaking your heart, “yeah? anything?” oh this was going to be good. your cheeks were flushed as you heard the words come of out his mouth, “undo my belt sweetheart, show me how much you mean it.” wavering hands hovered over his belt buckle as finnick relaxed into his seat, it couldn’t get better than this right?

wrong.

every time you asked to go out, to meet a friend, to go to the capitol he’d always sulk. and the night would end with you on your knees, him on his to make you forget, or the two of you tangled in sheets.

finnick was finally happy, he had the girl of his dreams after such a long period of sadness, of exploitation and terror. fake smiles and lingering eyes.

he finally got something out of the games.

and his gift?

the victors spoils.

[oosleepyfaeoo]

A Kiss Is All I Need

Modern!Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Chapter One

Summary: 2 months ago, Alys, the love of his life, broke up with him. Their relationship of five years gone by a simple farewell note that she left on their, well now his, penthouse. 2 months crying and feeling like shit but that all stopped when he meet you on that dreadful clothing store.

Warnings: Some angst, Aegon being the wingman, she/her pronouns, slow burn, eventual smut

Words: 2k

Masterlist

A/N: English is not my main language so i apologize for bad grammar but i hope you still like it! Feel free to reblog and comment! It would make me really happy to know you guys thoughts (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

“Seriously, Aemond. Relax a little.” Aegon drawls, eyeing his little brother carefully.

Aemond stood beside his brother, tense as a rock, contemplating his surroundings while his long pale fingers toy with his old, stained t-shirt. They currently stood in the middle of the clothing store, waiting for their sister Helaena while she chose some new and clean clothes for Aemond.

His siblings finally, after a month of rotting in his penthouse, dragged him out of the house to get some fresh air and apparently, some new clothes.

Aemond just shot his brother a glare and continued nervously toying with his t-shirt. Aegon rolls his eyes. “She did a number on you, didn’t she?” He says with a small frown.

2 months ago, Alys, the love of his life, broke up with him. Their relationship of five years gone by a simple farewell note that she left on their, well now his, penthouse. He still remembers how his heart beat so fast against his ribcages while he searched the whole house for her, noticing that all her clothes and jewelry (which he gifted to her) were gone.

He met her at one of his family company parties. Alys was the secretary of Lyonel Strong. Aemond was completely in awe with her when his eye landed on her, the way she moved so gracefully, and how her green eyes sparkled with mischief and wisdom.

When they made their relationship public, it was quite a shock for everyone, especially his mother. He was 23 and she was 35 at the time which was entirely understandable since they had a big age gap, twelve years to be precise.

“I don’t want to talk about her.” Aemond murmurs, trying his hardest to not think about Alys.

Aegon sighs and wraps his arm around his brother's shoulders. “I know you don’t... But try to loosen up a little.” He looks at Aemond worriedly. “Everyone is worried about you... Seven Hells, even Jace, and Luke are worried-”

Aemond looked down with a frown when suddenly he felt a gentle pull on his jeans. By his feet was a little girl dressed in a princess costume, full of pink and sparkly glitter. Her black hair hangs in two cute pigtails and a small simple tiara on top of her head.

The child looks carefully at Aemond, her eyes fixed on his eyepatch. “Are you a pirate?” She asks with an excited grin, her big round eyes shining in mischief.

Aegon burst out laughing while Aemond just stood there, looking down at the small girl in shock.

She huffs in annoyance and pulls the fabric of his jeans again. “Well?”

Noticing that Aemond does not intend to answer the poor girl, Aegon kneels beside the girl and gives her a kind smile.

“Sorry kid but he’s no pirate.” His answer made the girl frown in disappointment. “But he’s a Prince!” Now that made her look at Aemond in surprise and then back at Aegon, eyeing carefully.

“If he’s a Prince then why he doesn't smile?” She asks.

That pierce a little Aemond’s heart. Kneeling, he grabbed her small hand and gave her a small smile. “I’m sad... So that’s why I don’t smile much, little Princess.”

The girl giggles at her nickname but quickly disappears as she frowns, looking into his eye intensely. Then she took a step forward, placed her tiny hands on his cheeks, and kissed the point of his nose. Aemond stood very still, his eye wide in surprise at the girl's gesture.

She pulls back and smiles in excitement. “There! A kiss always pushes the sadness away!” The girl says proudly. “My mommy always kisses me whenever I'm sad or hurt.”

//// \\\\

“Em!” You call while looking everywhere in the clothing store for your daughter. “Emily! Where are you?!”

You can’t take that girl anywhere without getting a panic attack. You love to the death, she was your sun and moon but sometimes you wish that your daughter wasn't so adventurous. You were finishing a client order when you noticed your daughter leaving the bakery and running into the clothing store right in front. This made you leave everything that you were doing and run after her.

Sighing in relief, you spot her by the men's section talking to 2 silver-headed men. “Emily!” You breathe out as you kneel and pull her into a hug. “Don’t you ever disappear on me again! Mommy’s heart can’t handle any more surprise adventures.”

Your daughter grins at you and points to the man with an eyepatch. “Mommy I found a Prince!” She says excitedly. “Don’t worry, he’s not a pirate.” She whispers that part to you which makes you chuckle.

You stood up, holding Emily in your arms. “I’m so sorry. I hope my daughter didn’t bother you too much.” You apologize.

The handsome eyepatch man stood still looking down at you. A light blush appears on your face as you study his face properly. He was tall, really tall, with beautiful silky long silver hair that was loosely braided. His features were sharp which made him even more attractive. His eye was colored in a lovely ice blue shade with a hint of light purple. A black eyepatch covers his other eye, and you notice a long scar coming out of it down to his cheek. He was dressed in a simple green t-shirt (which seems to have seen better days) some black jeans, and black Doctor Martens.

He seemed nervous as he began playing with his fingers. “Huh... It’s no problem. Your daughter is a very sweet child.” he smiles softly.

“Mommy! Mommy! The Prince was sad so I kissed his nose like you do to me when I'm sad or hurt. And now he’s happy!” Emily giggles while resting her head on your shoulder.

“That’s very sweet of you, Em... But you can’t go wander off and kiss strangers.” You sigh while giving an apologetic look to the silver-headed man. “You know that while mommy is working, you need to stay with Maria.”

Emily rolls her eyes and pouts. “Ugh, but Maria is boring! She stays in front of the computer all day and does nothing... I much prefer staying at home, at least I could play with Pumpkin.”

You adjust her tiara on her head and kiss her forehead gently. “I know but I can’t let you be at home alone, sweetheart.”

While you scold your daughter, trying to convince her to stay with your employee. Aegon stays silent studying the scene before him. He had noticed how Aemond suddenly couldn’t take his eye off you or how his pale cheeks suddenly turned pink when you smiled gently at him.

Aegon also noticed you eyeing his little brother which made him grin mischiefly. Oh, he had a plan forming in his head. A BIG plan.

“Excuse me, I don’t mean to intrude but it seems you are in need of a babysitter for this lovely Princess,” Aegon says while smiling at Emily who grins at him. He wraps his arm around Aemond’s shoulders and pulls him to his side. “My baby brother, Aemond, is in need of a job and he’s great with kids. He usually babysits our nephews. So, he knows how to take care of children.”

Aemond shot Aegon a glare and opened his lips to disagree with whatever his brother had in mind, but Aegon just smiled at him and stepped on his foot to silence him.

“So, what do you think?” Aegon grins down at you.

You frown gently. It’s true that you seriously needed a babysitter for Emily, but you don’t have time to look for one since being a single mother and owning a bakery occupy your days. Also, it’s hard to trust a stranger to look after your kid. Your friend, Nat, tried to convince you to hire a babysitter after Emily turned one year old but you quickly refused, saying that you could perfectly manage taking care of Emily and your business alone.

Oh boy, how wrong you were. Since Emily started walking, your life has been a nightmare. She was like a ninja. One minute she was there and the next, she was gone. Every day you would have to run off from your work to go find her. She loves exploring and she makes sure you know that, every, single, day.

Maybe Nat is right.

“Okay,” You sigh. Aegon clapped in victory and smiled at his brother. “But I will be needing an interview with Aemond. To see if he has the training that is needed to look after a child.”

“Of course! When?” Aegon asked while Aemond just stood there petrified.

“Tomorrow at 2 pm.” You took your business card and gave it to Aemond. “You will find me in my bakery shop. It’s right in front of this store.”

Aemond nodded and took your card. “Thank you... I’ll be there.”

You smile gently and say your goodbyes, taking Emily back to your shop. “Bye Bye Prince!” The girl waved to him with a toothless smile which made Aemond smile gently and wave back.

When you and Emily are out of the clothing store, Aemond turns to his brother and slaps roughly on his shoulder. “What in the actual fuck was that, Aegon?!” He growled.

Aegon hissed in pain and pouted. “Ouch!... Is this how you thank your big brother for getting you a date with that hot girl?!”

Aemond rolls his eye. “By making me a babysitter?” He sighs. “Look Aegon, I'm not ready to be with someone yet... Also, did you not think that maybe she has a husband?”

Aegon grins at him. “No ring on her finger so she’s probably single. And you are more than ready to be with someone... It’s been two months since you and Alys broke up, you had your time weep and now it’s time to go back into action.”

Helaena pops beside Aegon with her arms full of clothes that she chooses for Aemond. “Our little brother has a date tomorrow!” Aegon claps excitedly.

Helaena gasps in surprise and then looks back to the clothes in her arms and back to Aemond, frowning gently. “We need more clothes.” She whispers while going back into the clothing store with Aegon on her trail.

Aemond sighs in defeat but a tiny smile appears on his thin lips. He’s not going to lie, you seem really interesting. 

Tag list is open!

Thank you for reading! Hope you like it! ε(´｡•᎑•`)っ 💕

[bluebasie]

Giyuu Tomioka's kindness deserves some more recognition!!

Am I the only one who hates when people interpret Giyuu Tomioka from KNY as some kind of unfeeling and mean person with the personality of a rock when so many scenes with him clearly show how much of a thoughtful, kind, and empathetic character he is??

His introduction scene is already an example of this when he (a person who has been slaying demons for 8 years and has a deep hatred for them) decides to spare a demon just because he saw Tanjiro and Nezuko’s bond and decided to give them a chance. I’m sure most everyone in the KNY fandom recognizes this, but I don’t think some people REALLY understand the implications of this action. The moment he decides to spare Nezuko he essentially becomes a traitor to the demon slayer corps which, by the rules or the corps, qualifies him for execution. Tomioka quite literally gave up his life and pride to spare a pair of siblings he didn't know just to give them a fair chance in a world that is clearly unfair. There's also the fact that after knocking Nezuko out in the first episode, even though he didn't have to, he put Nezuko’s robe back on to keep her warm, wiped the blood off of her face, and gave her a muzzle. Keep in mind though that demons can't get sick from the cold or anything and the cut would have healed itself. Tomioka put the robe on and wiped the blood purely for her comfort. 

Going back to the fact that Tomioka put his whole life on the line for these siblings, It’s not like he just abandoned them when they got caught. He fully stood with them when the Kamado siblings were brought before the hashira. Again this moment was actually HUGE even though his status as a ‘traitor’ lasted only two episodes. In the moment of the trial he essentially knew there was a good chance he would be executed but also, he knew that his pride/reputation was gone from his peers. (Pride was very important in Japan during this time period) One could argue that Tomioka already wasn't regarded well among the hashira but at least he was at least a little respected, but, as a traitor, you lose ALL respect. One could also argue that Tomioka didn't really care about his life and honestly, I could agree to that statement but there is one thing that overrules both of these points. His loyalty towards Ubuyashiki. It's well known that the Master is well regarded among the hashira and even the master being disappointed in one of them would be terrible for them. Imagine how bad it must be for one of the Hashira if Ubuyashiki had a full on disdain towards one of them. Tomioka was fully ready to take the chance of being deemed a traitor by Ubuyashiki by coming to the Hashira meeting to vouch for Tanjiro instead of running away or something. 

Then there is how Tomioka acted as a child. There isn't much shown about how he was before spiraling into a more isolated lifestyle after sabito’s death but from what we can see, His parents died when he was really young and he grew up with his older sister, Tsukato. His sister hid him from a demon when they were attacked to spare him and overcome by guilt, he blamed himself for her death and believed he should have died. This is one of the first examples of his self-deprecating thoughts after losing a person close to him and we can see them again when Sabito dies and also when Tanjirou ‘dies’. This shows how hard losses hit him to the point of causing himself to devoid himself of emotion because of the sheer amount of sadness his relationship's deaths brought him. The fact that he still wears Sabito and Tsukato’s haoris together as a memento for 8 years just solidifies it for me

There's also a few scenes post war that i’d like to mention such as the scene where Tomioka openly cries over Tanjiros death and exclaims that he’s failed him before apologizing to Nezuko. This scene also shows his tendency to put burdens unto himself in order to let others be happy. He also rejects help from the kakushi to sit beside Tanjiro and only after he confirms Tanjiro is alright does he allow himself to relax. Then there is the mention from the fan book that while Giyuu was in a coma after the war Nezuko fixed Tomioka’s haori that was previously shred to pieces during the war because she knew his haori meant a lot to him. Once he woke up and found out that she had fixed his haori and visited him every night, he was so moved that he sent a large multitude of gifts to her. It is also shown that after the war he allows himself to be happier and smile more. He is VERY clearly not emotionless.

The last thing I want to mention is his relationships over the manga with his fellow hashira. His friendship with shinobu may seem one-sided, Tomioka definitely cares for her wellbeing which can be seen when he asks Tanjiro about her during the Soba scene and in the fanbook where the hashira opinions of each other shows that he notices her fake smile. Tomioka knew shinobu’s sister Kanae so I’m sure he relates to shinobu about their common grief towards their deceased older sisters. Then There is the Uzui family which befriended Tomioka after the war and after Uzui’s first child was born, Giyuu was allowed to hold them. This could mean that after the war Tomioka opened up more, so the Uzui’s were able to notice Tomioka’s thoughtfulness. Then of course there are the Shinazugawa scenes. The infamous ohagi scene, where Giyuu gets so happy that he knows Sanemi’s favorite food so then he can like him rather than hate him that he flashes one of the three smiles he ever shows in the manga. There’s also the small speech he gives Kiriya at the final pillar meeting where he talks about how his father would be proud of him and how grateful they are to the Ubuyashiki family which ended up bringing Kiriya to tears before sharing another smile with Sanemi.

It is very clear that Giyuu Tomioka cares heavily for Justice and for those he is close to the point where his main character story is about his guilt to those he failed and about his feelings and connections with others so please please please stop portraying him as insensitive, mean, and emotionless!!!

Tanjiro, Nezuko, and Giyuu are Siblings fr

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk :)

Had to add this pic lol

[7ndipity]

Their S/o Has Depression

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How they would respond to their S/o having depression(or having had depression in the past)

Warnings: mentions of depressive episodes, not proofread

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anon who requested this! I’ve actually thought about writing something about this several times, as it’s something I’ve dealt with for many years, but wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.

Reminder to anyone who needs to hear it that you are loved, you will be okay eventually, but it’s okay to not be okay right now. If you need anyone to talk/vent to, I’m here for you💜

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin: He would probably be really quiet when you first tell him, just trying to understand and take everything in. Tries to pay closer attention to your moods, and handles you a little softer on the days when you need it. He does his absolute most to make you smile everyday, even if it’s just for a second. He knows it doesn’t make the darkness go away, but sometimes those little moments of light are enough to get you through.

Yoongi: He’s also had his share of struggles with this in the past, so I feel like he might have picked up on some cues, but waited for you to bring it up when you were ready. He tries to subtly look out for you without being overbearing, checking in throughout the day and helping out where he can. Understands that some days you just need to be quiet and ride out the storm, so he’ll just lay with you, keeping a hand out for you to grab if you need it.

Hobi: It would hurt his heart so much to know you’ve gone through/are going through that kind of pain, but he would be so grateful that you trusted him enough to share your struggles with him. If it’s ongoing, he would be super attentive to your moods, trying to help out and support you in little ways wherever he can, whether that’s doing the dishes, making sure you’re eating properly, or just showing you funny videos he found online to make you laugh.

Namjoon: He’s been rather open about his own struggles with depression, so I think he’d be very understanding and sympathetic when you tell him. Very proactive about talking through whatever it is you’re feeling, even if you think it’s stupid or unimportant. Tries to get you to go out or take walks with him on better days, just to make sure you get some fresh air and sunlight regularly, and help make sure you're looking after your physical health as well as your mental.

Jimin: It would break his heart to realize that you struggled/are struggling with this, but his sole focus would become how to help/comfort you. He’s really empathetic, so he would pick up on every little shift in your moods. He understands that sometimes you just need to be reminded that you’re not alone, so he’ll just wrap himself around you on days when you can’t do much, holding you together till you can put the pieces back yourself.

Taehyung: As sad as he is to find out about your struggles, I feel like he’s really good at normalizing things like this without being dismissive, checking in with a number system or smth so you don’t have to talk if you don’t wanna(10’s good, 1’s bad) Has a way of saying the most comforting things in the simplest way(like when he reminded that one fan that she was already a good daughter just by existing). Will lay in bed with you on low days, talking about whatever comes to mind just to help distract you.

Jungkook: As soon as you tell him, he goes into protector mode. He can struggle sometimes to find the right words, so he tends to express his care more through actions. If you can’t bring yourself to clean your apartment, he’ll do it for you(while commentating to you as if it’s a talk show). If you need to just sleep, he’ll curl up with you and keep you safe. The type you can call at 2am cause you don’t wanna be alone, and he’s got his shoes on and out the door before you’ve finished talking.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[multific]

A Love Without Words

Paul Atreides x Mute!Reader

Summary: Destiny has its way to make us suffer. It gives us power but it can take it away just as easily. 

You and Paul grew up together.

It was decided at a young age that you were to become his wife when the time comes.

Lady Jessica remembered the day he took his young boy, barely two years old into the healers where you were just born. 

Lady Jessica remembered the day he told his son that the baby laying in the crib will be his wife. 

Paul didn't understand it back then. Of course, he didn't, he was too young.

You soon grew up to be a strong woman, strong with the Voice. Your power and ability to use the Voice became evident at a young age.

You loved to sing as well.

It is how Paul fell in love with you. One morning, he heard a voice, oh so sweet, singing. He knew he needed to find the person. He needed to know who it was. And he found you. Baking away as you sang. Paul was only sixteen, yet he found the love of his life.

---

But then, things turned for the worst. On your sixteenth birthday, you celebrated with your family.

Your family was attacked.

The Duke himself went to help but it was all in vain. Your parents were dead, and they found you in terrible conditions.

"My Lady, she is stable now, her vitals are good but... My Lady... she lost her voice." Paul and her mother looked at the nurse as she handed them a note.

'I tried to save them, I used the Voice but I failed. And now, I lost my parents and the Voice.'

Paul looked up at the nurse, demanding answers.

"She can't speak anymore, she had gone mute."

Mute.

Your beautiful voice.

Your songs.

Were all gone?

The voice that made him laugh and smile. The voice that talked so sweetly to him.

Was it truly gone?

Paul looked at his mother who had sadness in her eyes.

All she could say was "At least she is still alive."

But it was no comfort for Paul.

He headed into the room, finding you alone in bed, but you weren't sleeping.

He didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say.

So, he sat down beside your bed and held your hand as you silently cried.

Paul wanted nothing more than to burn the world. The world that took so much from you. 

You swore on that hospital bed that no matter what, you won't let this fully break you.

It is what your attackers would have wanted, and you weren't going to give them the satisfaction of winning.

They came into your home to kill you and your family due to your closeness to the Duke. Everyone knew about your engagement to Paul, and they wanted to attack where it would hurt.

And it hurt. 

It really did hurt Paul.

You were moved into his room, his mother decided to marry you to him earlier. Saying in order to keep your title and the power your House once had, you had to be married.

It was disgusting to hear that after the day of your attack, many nobles offered their daughters up for marriage to Paul.

But there you were, only a week after you buried your parents and your voice, you were standing in a white dress getting married. 

You tried to be happy, after all, you did love Paul with all of your heart. 

But you were still grieving.

Slowly, you started to heal, Paul and Lady Jessica did help you a lot. While the Lady tried to help you get your voice back, Paul wanted you to accept the fact that you lost it.

You felt like you were pulled in two directions.

Then the following week, during your daily training with Lady Jessica, you finally had enough.

'I don't wish to continue. I lost my voice and I'm coming to terms with it, Paul helps a lot. I understand that the Voice is a gift. Unfortunately, I have lost my gift, so I'm trying to find a new purpose.'

Read the note you handed to Lady Jessica before exiting the room.

She didn't argue. She knew she was holding onto something which she couldn't save. She knew, but at least you both tried.

Now, you needed a new purpose, and motivation to keep you going. And you found it in Paul. 

Paul was a kind soul. Attentive, affectionate and caring. He loved you like no other. 

And you loved him. You loved that even though you were only a shadow of the woman you once were, he loved you.

You often found yourself in the library, reading or by the window looking out.

Your daily routine was simple. And every day you had dinner with your now-family. The Duke, Lady Jessica and Paul. 

You never really paid attention to the conversations, it was mainly the Duke speaking with Paul 

Then, during one dinner, something caught your attention. Something the Duke said.

A child.

The Duke asked Paul when does he plan on having a child, an heir. 

It shocked you. It really did.

Considering that you and Paul only spent one night intimate. It was the best night of your life. Even if he said he didn't have any experience, you didn't mind. 

You were still rather nervous around him.

Thankfully you had your notepad with you. Everyone watched as you wrote something before a servant stepped up and you handed him the note. He read it out loud.

"It was rather difficult for my mother to conceive. It is why I am an only child. I'm afraid I might have the same difficulty, My Duke. I sincerely apologise." as he finished you bowed your head and everyone was so speechless it made you nervous. You did just admit to a flaw in your bloodline. But it would be better for them to know. You motioned for the servant who gave you back the notebook and you wrote. "I do wish to be a mother, however. But I do not want to rush my husband with such duty. My mother often said, 'It will happen when the time is right.'" 

"You are such a sweetheart, Y/N." said the Duke. "I remember your father often reminding me of your mother's... issues. I simply asked because the council was also curious. I do understand however, it is not their place to ask."

You knew that a baby could be a good purpose for you. But you also didn't want to have a baby and then have this feeling of only giving birth because you lost your purpose. You wished to have a child out of love, not duty.

While you did understand it was one of your duties. You also didn't wish the child to have this sense that you only gave birth because of that reason.

And somehow Paul understood that. But he also desperately wanted to give you more. Give you his voice in exchange for yours. He wanted to give you the entire Galaxy.

It is why he spoke up and told his father, when you two are ready for a child, you shall have one.

You appreciated Paul taking your side.

Later that evening, you were in the bath, enjoying the water before Paul would soon return.

You smiled to yourself, imagining a young boy, hair like Paul's running around, giggling and calling you Mommy.

It was beautiful.

But you knew you had a low chance. And babies are supposed to hear their mommies talk.

You will never be able to do that. And it hurt. 

You really needed something to take up your mind. You felt like you have read every book in there. You felt like you explored all rooms.

You sank deeper into the tub when your servants arrived and helped you clean and got you dressed. 

"How was your day?" asked Paul as he entered the room and sat down on your shared bed. You offered him a smile and a nod. "Great, I have a surprise for you." 

You grabbed your note, 'Now?'

"I was supposed to wait until tomorrow morning, but I can't."

He grabbed your hand and guided you down the halls and into the garden, there you noticed something in the back.

It looked like a...

Paul guided you closer. It was harder to see in the dark.

It was a green house, made out purely from glass. 

"I just thought... Mother said ladies usually enjoy gardens and flowers and I thought you might like it." you silently walked inside, looking at all the possibilities as all trays were still empty.

Paul stood in silence as he watched you looking around. You soon noticed a corner where there were sofas placed. You walked over and soon turned to paul.

'Is this for me?'

"Of course! You can decorate or plant however you like. Tomorrow a planner will come and you can tell her what you would like."

'This is wonderful, Paul.'

"I know you have been feeling lost since your voice and parents were taken from you. I hope this will give you a new goal to take your mind off of things."

You wanted to cry, you walked over to him and hugged him. Silently thanking him.

"I hope, every time I come in here I will see you smile." you pulled away and smiled at him. He smiled back. "I love you so much, Y/N."

You placed your palm on his heart.

It was your way of telling him that you felt the same, that you loved him just as much.

It might have been a love without words, but Paul understood it perfectly.

Your eyes shined every time you looked at him, your smile was always so kind and pure.

He slowly leaned down to kiss your perfect lips. 

Taglist: @fleursirvart​ @greenarrowhead​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @sincerelyfan​ @theoneanna​ @aestheticsandmarvel​ @rororo06​ @castellandiangelo​ @destynelseclipsa​ @spilledinkindumpster​ @capsiclesdoll​ @puknow​ @alwayshave-faith​ @alex12948​ @lxdyred​  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​ @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek​ @praline357​ @trshngyn​ @avengers-r-us​ @violet-19999​ @top1bbgloak​   @manduse​   @jacalineiscomingforyou​  

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, PLAGIARISE, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  

[ash5monster01]

hii!! could you write something for charlie dalton and an insecure reader (they are already dating)? ive been feeling kind of ugly lately😭😭 tysm

I’m so sorry this has taken me so long, I hope everything has been going okay. Insecurities can really suck sometimes, but we just have to remember we’re all beautiful in our own way <3

Perfectly Me

Pairing: Charlie Dalton x FemReader

Warnings: fluff, self doubt, insecurities, anxiety

Summary: Dating cool and confident Charlie is proven to be hard when most of the time you’re insecure about everything about yourself.

word count: 1.1k

Masterlist

Charlie had always been Charlie. You weren’t entirely sure where he got it from. Somehow after all these years in boarding school he had found a confidence that set him apart from the others. You had never met anyone else that had lived life with their chin so high and smile so wide. He was confident, fun, popular, and you felt everything but. When he had chosen you it was shocking. How could daring and brave Charlie seek out the only girl that kept her head ducked and mouth shut. Yet somehow he did and everyday since you had been questioning why.

Especially on days like today. Days where Charlie’s laugh bellowed loudly through the lunch room as you sat quiet as a mouse beside him. Girls looked on with adoring looks and boys laughed after every sentence that left his mouth. His presence was large, everyone saw him, everyone liked him. It was so intense that as you sat beside the boy you loved you felt more invisible then ever, especially to him. He didn’t see you, there is no way he could have. You were nothing but an inanimate object beside him and you had only ended up in this position from a cruel trick of fate. Not only were you now invisible but humiliated because you couldn’t compare to him. You never could.

When the bell sounds you’re the first out the door. You didn’t want to wait and see if Charlie even acknowledged you, it would hurt too much if he didn’t. You barely went noticed as you left anyway so it would be no surprise if he didn’t notice either. But he did. His proud look turning into one of confusion as he spotted your form rushing away. He had wanted to kiss you, stare into your pretty eyes for a moment longer, but you were gone in the blink of an eye. He wondered why, it almost feeling like you were trying to escape him. This very thought plagued him the rest of the day as he awaited a moment to see you again.

Once classes were over it took him forever to find you. He felt like he had turned Welton upside down in search of you until he finally found you curled up on a window seat in the library. Your eyes were cast downward at the book in your hands, your forehead pressed against the cool glass of the window where you sat. You were so beautiful and his heart yearned deeply for you in that very moment. He wished you didn’t feel so far away. He just wanted you two to be okay. As much as he talked about always having a girlfriend he never thought he’d be lucky enough to have one, especially you.

“Found you” you jump slightly at the sound of his husky voice. He’s lifting your feet and sliding beside you before you can react. He doesn’t make any notion that the window is cold against his back as he finally looks at you.

“I wasn’t hiding” you finally say, a bit nervous in his presence which you hated.

“Felt like it” the sad way he drops his gaze from you makes your heart clench. You hadn’t meant to hurt him but he had unintentionally been hurting you.

“I know” you whisper and Charlie looks up to see the sad expression you wear, one that matched his own.

“Can you tell me why?” he asks and you notice how small he seems here. He isn’t loud and proud Charlie, he’s your boyfriend who’s afraid you’re going to say something that hurts him and even worse you know what you have to say is going too.

“I don’t know why you’re with me Charlie” you say, officially closing your book and giving him your full attention.

“What do you mean?” he asks and you bring your hands to your face, sighing into them before looking up again.

“I’m not like you Charlie. You’re good looking, popular, outgoing. I’m just not” you say, exasperated and tired of not only being insecure about everything else in your life but about this too.

“Yes you are!” and this has you chuckling dryly, so tired of being lied to.

“No Charlie, I know it, you know it, and the rest of these imbeciles do too” you say, arms crossing over you chest and Charlie sighs as he presses a hand to his forehead.

“You are to me” he says calmly and you feel your heart rate accelerate at the confession. Charlie dares a glance at you to see your face flooded with sadness and confusion. He had never meant to make you feel small. “You’re the only girl for me. Maybe you’re not all that outgoing but that’s okay. I need someone who is going to bring me down to earth. I wanted to kiss my girlfriend today before she left after lunch and instead I watched her run away from me. I don’t try to make you feel worthless, I’m just so used to being loud and bold to hide the fact that I’m terrified my life won’t turn out the way I want it to. The only thing I’m sure of is you”

“Is that true?” you ask and Charlie chuckles even though none of this conversation is meant to be funny.

“It’s the most true thing I’ve said all week” he tells you and finally you take a good look at your doe eyed boyfriend. His floppy brown hair hangs in his eyes and the crooked smile on his face is still only ever directed at you. He loves you the way you love him, for all the things neither of you are. So you scoot forward and wrap your arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry I assumed the worst of you” you tell him and he gives you a tight lipped smile that you happily lean forward and kiss.

“I’m sorry I expected too much of you” Charlie apologizes in return and you smile before locking your lips with his own again. Pulling yourself closer to him your book slides from your lap and lands with a loud thud that has you both giggling quietly in the back corner of the library. Charlie doesn’t care about the attention it might’ve brought and kisses you good and hard again.

The best thing about Charlie is no matter how insecure you are, at least he will always be there for you. You balanced each other out and balance was the most important key to life. Balance love, balance work and art, and you shall be free.

[jjtheresidentbaby]

been having lots of babysitter! jonathan thoughts, so could you possibly do like cg!steve needs to go out for the day or has a long work day when little! reader is feeling really tiny and super fussy, so he has jonathan come over to babysit, maybe argyle is there too?

I just imagine he'd be really quiet and gentle with reader in babyspace and patient when they are nonverbal, just like sitting with them and giving them a bottle, and when they're feeling a bit better after being sad about steve being away so long, they have a dance party in the living room 

(sorry if this is like way too long or if you dont write like babysitter stuff, theres absolutely no pressure!)

˚. ❝₊˚ last minute ❞ ˚₊·

» johnathan byers x reader

» a/n: omg this request is over a year old, I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get to 😭 also sorry I couldn’t fit everything you asked for in, I had trouble figuring out how to write jon

» warnings: fussy reader, crying, pet names, bottle feeding

You cling your hands tighter onto Steve’s yellow sweater, face stuffed into his chest, a wet spot of tears under you that’s only growing larger as he tries to hand you off to Johnathan.

“I’ll be back tonight, I swear baby.” Steve assures for the millionth time, it does nothing to help you calm down. You’ve dropped younger than normal and while Steve hadn’t wanted to leave you, Robin already called out with the flu so Steve doesn’t have the option of staying home. It’s hell for him to see you so distraught.

“No!” You cry and Steve lets out a sad sigh. It’s been five full minutes of you, Steve, and Johnathan standing in the doorway of Steve’s house waiting for you to let go of Steve and for Johnathan to take over caring for you as he’s the only one around that’s able to watch you on such short notice.

“It’s okay little one, we’ll have fun while Steve’s gone.” Johnathan ducks his head to meet your eyes when you turn your head against Steve’s pec, only offering a sniffle in reply to Johnathan.

“See? Jon’s a good caregiver, you guys will have a great day. Now I- I gotta go-.” Steve starts to pull you off of his chest and instantly more tears start to streak down your face, hiccuping cries leaving your throat as Johnathan takes over holding you on his hip.

“I’m so sorry, I’ll be back.” A kiss gets pressed to your forehead before Steve’s bounding down the driveway to his car, probably already ten minutes late for work, which is the only reason you decide not to put up much of a fight when Johnathan takes you inside.

“I know we don’t know each other that well but I want to help you and for today to be a good day. Is there anything you want that I can do to help?” Johnathan speaks softly, it reminds you of how Joyce talks to littles, kind and caring in that signature Byers way.

“Bottle?” You ask shyly but Johnathan instantly nods and hefts you up to get a more comfortable hold on you before walking to the kitchen.

Nothing is said as Johnathan makes the bottle, you point to the cabinets everything’s in and then lean against him as he starts to hum a song under his breath. The rumble of his chest is grounding in a way and lets your tears turn to sniffles before ceasing all together- you still miss Steve and wish he didn’t have to go to work- but Johnathan isn’t so bad.

“Let- let me know if I’m tipping it too much.” Johnathan says with a nervous undertone to his words, you know he has nothing to be nervous about, you’ve seen him take care of Nancy plenty of times and he’s never done anything to raise concern.

You nod anyways and latch onto the bottle once he holds it out for you. He has one bent arm under your head as you sit on Steve’s couch and his eyes don’t leave your face, gently scanning your features for discomfort as you suck down the drink, slower than you’d usually drink it. You’re honestly exhausted from earlier and don’t have the energy to move with the speed and eagerness you normally have.

“All set? Do you wanna watch a movie?” It’s obvious you’re close to falling asleep but Johnathan flicks the Tv on despite it, shifting to get more comfortable on the couch as he suspects you’ll fall asleep in the position you’re in right now.

“You can nap if you wanna.” The assurance is all you need to close your eyes and curl into Johnathan more, hoping you’ll sleep long enough that your emotions won’t be so intense when you wake up and maybe you can enjoy having Johnathan here more.

[mandarinmoons]

I don’t know if you’re open for requests but if you are… Spencer’s first ever kiss? One he initiates (even accidentally) Whether he’s younger/it’s two 13 years old kids who don’t know anything or just season 1 before Lila (because I refuse her to be his first kiss)

Kissing is something Spencer’s always been intrigued by. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was about the act that made him so curious, was it a primal instinct that clicked in his brain that wanted him to explore it or was it scientific interest into human behavior. Whichever one it was, the act was something he had never partaken in and it made him a bit angsty.

It was a quiet day in the bullpen and the team was huddled over a desk as they ate their lunch and talked, this time around they talked about stories of their first time experiences, this time about the romantic kind. Spencer listened intently as Morgan reminisced about his first ever so called girlfriend, could you really call it a relationship if it only lasted for two weeks? Who’s to say, but the way that the man was talking about it made it seem like to Spencer as though Morgan knew exactly what he was doing. 

Morgan went into detail about how he and the girl shared their first kiss, a sweet little peck on the lips as they parted the school bus and walked to opposite streets. It was sweet and innocent, everyone else awed and soon enough they all were talking about their experiences with their first kiss. As Spencer kept on listening he felt himself go stiff, his lack of experience in the field being talked about made him feel uneasy. What was seen as something everyone had experience in, for Spencer, he had never even held a girl’s hand. It made him feel childish, it was something he had hoped he’d experience by now, but with the way his life had gone it gave him no time to partake in those types of activities.

“What about you, pretty boy?”

Spencer looked up and his eyes flicked across the group, everyone was looking straight at him, waiting for a response.

“I uh, I’ve never uh…,” Spencer scratched the back of his neck and Morgan patted his shoulder in return and chuckled.

“Don’t worry now, your time will come.”

Spencer merely gave a slight nod and drew his attention to the styrofoam cup of cola in his hands. He felt his cheeks heat up and tried to focus his attention back to the conversation at hand and pay no mind to the embarrassment that was whirling inside him.

As the day went on his mood was still low. He never paid much attention to the fact that he had never kissed anyone, but now that the rest of the team knew, to him, it just only made him look more of a “kid” to everyone. He may be the youngest of the team, but he could easily trump everyone with his intellect. In social situations he was a bit awkward though and that would be his downfall.

Spencer was in the kitchen, stirring his cup of coffee after adding an appropriate amount of sugar. He heard footsteps come into the kitchen and looked over his shoulder as he saw you approach him,

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

“Me? Oh um, I’m great,” Spencer gave his signature tight lipped smile and watched over his cup again.

“You’re not upset are you?”

“About what?”

“Well, the conversation we all had during lunch, the kissing thing you know…”

“Oh uh, no, I’m fine.”

“Spence…”

Spencer looked at you and saw the concern written over your face. He felt dumb being sad over such a situation.

“Well, I mean… Maybe a little.”

You smiled and Spencer felt his stomach flip, he’d always liked you and whenever you expressed concern for him his little crush on you grew.

“It’s okay, I haven’t kissed anyone either.”

“Really? I find that hard to believe,” Spencer’s eyes went wide as he realized what he had just said and his cheeks burned up, nothing would be able to hide the crimson hue..

You chuckled at his response, “Yeah well, I haven’t for whatever reason. I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone, yeah?”

Spencer nodded and as you turned around to walk back you turned right around as you remembered that you wanted to make some coffee for yourself too. However, as soon as you turned back Spencer took a step forward as well and you ended up walking into Spencer’s chest.

“Oh um, sorry,” you chuckled and looked up at the tall man.

“It’s okay,” both of your eyes locked and you weren’t able to look away from each other. Spencer reached up carefully and rested his hand on your cheek and you leaned into his touch. Without noticing you both leaned in and a moment later your lips met in a soft kiss. Spencer’s other arm wrapped around your waist as he brought you closer and your hands rested on his chest, gripping his shirt lightly.

A moment later you both pulled back and looked at each other, lips a little bit swollen and breathing heavily.

“I don’t think I need that coffee anymore.”

Spencer chuckled and rested his forehead against yours, “Me either.”

Taglist: @radioactiveinvisible @whoisspence @sreidisms @lanascinnamongirls @luvkatryna @sp3ncelle @iluvreid @khxna @keiva1000 @indigosamsblog @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden

If you want to be a part of my taglist go here!

You can find my masterlist here!

My requests are open so feel free to send one in! (SFW only)

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Frank Castle X Reader: Spaghetti and meatballs

This post contains explicit content (minors dni)

Warnings: Smut, creampie, oral(male receiving), nipple play, rough sex, explicit depictions of sexual activities, unprotected sex, penetration (p in v), use of birth control, dirty talk, cursing, dry humping, size kink(kind of), bit of begging, pet names, fluff, sad feelings, ptsd.

Summary: Your curiosity about your new neighbor lead to unexpected consequences.

This man deserves the world

He didn’t know why he did it. Maybe he missed not hiding who he was. Maybe the lies were making him forget the truth of his identity. Or maybe he was just a lonely man looking for some comfort. Comfort you were more than happy to give him.

The apartment was shitty, the building was falling apart and you could never have a moment of peace and quiet since the thin walls allowed everything to pass through them. Still this was home, mold stains and all. 

Frank had become used to the musty atmosphere he lived in. He'd spend most of his nights at the construction site, hacking away at the walls until his fingers bleed and the voices of his loved ones died down a bit. But they never went away. Not fully. He was grateful for the outside noise, it seemed to dampen the weight of the memories but it couldn’t erase them. He’d been living here for a while but  had never gone out of his way to introduce himself to anyone. He wasn’t looking for friends. He wasn’t looking for anything really. But you had other plans.

You’d grown curious about your mysterious neighbor. You rarely saw him in the months he lived at the building but you could hear him through the walls. You’d hear him in the middle of the night gasping for air as he awoke from another nightmare. Could hear the sound of his boots clanging against the floor as he left to god knows where in the middle of the night. Listened to the small pained grunts he’d let out as he washed up after a day of work. You knew Frank's routine like the back of your hand, still you’d never met him before. It felt a tad invasive listening to him through the walls but it wasn’t your fault they were so thin they could barely keep out the noises on the other side. You don’t know what triggered you to walk over to Frank's apartment that fateful day but it was safe to say that nothing would be the same after your decision.

Frank didn’t have visitors. Ever. So when he heard a knock on the door on a random afternoon it surprised him. He’d gone into protection mode, the years of being in the army having forced him to believe all unplanned visitors were unwanted. Frank stood to his full height as he opened the door fully expecting to be greeted by some old enemy. Instead what he got was you. Your hands shook lightly as you held onto the tupperware container you’d decided to bring over. It seemed like a nice enough thought. Bringing some food over to your neighbor sounded like a hell of a good excuse to you but it didn’t stop you from being nervous. Your anxiety tripled the moment Frank opened the door, your eyes falling on him for the first time. He was huge. Much taller than you had anticipated and much more muscular than you’d imagined. You couldn’t help but think of how handsome he was. Frank glanced down at you, his eyes falling to the container in your grasp before moving up to your eyes.

“You need something?”

Gosh his voice sounded like heaven.

“Oh uh hi, I live next door.”

You gestured to your apartment door watching as Franks glanced at where you were pointing at.

“Okay.”

“Uh well i know we’ve never met before but uhm i ended up cooking too much food and i’m not one to waste a meal so i was wondering if…uhm… maybe you’d like some?”

You were stuttering like a little kid which caused Frank's eyes to soften a smidge. He glanced down at what you were holding his eyes trying to figure out what you were offering him. 

“It’s spaghetti and meatballs.”

Frank wasn’t picky but he was careful. He was used to having enemies which made him always stay on edge but the way you were shaking was enough to tell him you meant no harm. Frank reached for the food in your hands, taking the container from you. You played with the hem of your shirt, trying your best to keep yourself occupied.

“Thanks.”

“That’s what neighbors are for.”

You gave him a smile and Frank almost stopped breathing at the sight. He’d been too busy admiring your innocent features to notice the hand you’d stuck out for him to shake. Once he realized he hesitated for a moment before gripping your palm in his. Your hand was so warm against his. You told him your name and before he could stop himself Franks told you his. He told you his real name, not the shitty fake one he’d had to come up with. He expected your face to drop into a look of fear but you continued smiling up at him, seeming completely unaware of who he was.

“Well I'll get out of your hair. It was nice meeting you, Frank.”

And with that you walked back to your apartment, leaving Frank to himself. That day was the first time in a long time that Frank had indulged in homestyle cooking and the moment he put the first bite into his mouth he knew he was screwed. The PB&J’s weren’t going to cut it anymore. Not now that he’d tasted your cooking.

Since that day Frank and you kept crossing paths whether it be in the hallway or in the elevator or even at the supermarket. Basically wherever you went you’d risk running into Frank. You tried to brush it off as a coincidence but something told you it was more than that. And your gut was absolutely right. Frank had figured out your schedule and had made it his mission to run into you as much as he could. He wanted to talk to you but he didn't know how to go about it. 

Until one fateful day. 

He’d been laying in bed trying to read one of his books when his nose caught waft of a delicious smell. Frank got up from his bed making his way towards the scent. To his surprise the smell was coming from your apartment. He knew it was odd but he’d been itching to have another decent meal for ages. One of your meals to be more precise. And now that he could smell you cooking up heaven in your kitchen he couldn't resist. He knocked at your door lightly, his feet thumping against the ground anxiously. What the hell was he doing?

“One second!”

He heard you race over to the door turning the key before opening it. You were wearing an apron and your hair was pinned up so it wasn’t in your way. He didn’t know how to explain it but the homey nature coming from you made him feel calm.

“Oh hi Frank.”

“Hey, sorry for interrupting.”

“It’s okay, what can I do for you?”

“It smells like heaven in there.”

You blushed at the praise, Frank's words making you flustered.

“Thank you. It’s a family recipe.”

You glance back at the kitchen then at the small two person table in your apartment. It had been a while since you’d had company and you were sure Frank hadn’t just strolled over to tell you your food smelled nice. You’d reached out to him weeks ago and now he was reaching back to you.

“Actually… I could use some help. If you’re not busy that is.”

“Oh I wouldn't want to impose.”

“You’re not imposing. I’d like the company.”

You stepped to the side, holding the door open for Frank.

“Come on in.”

To your surprise Frank hesitated at the door for only a moment before entering your home. 

Frank helped you cook and the two of you enjoyed a pleasant lunch together. Before you knew it you were pulling out a bottle of whiskey and offering Frank a glass. The two of you moved over to the couch, the alcohol making your tongues lose. You spent the night chatting about things like you were old friends. Frank missed this. He missed talking to people like a human being. Missed being treated like a person rather than a machine. You were nice to him in ways he’d forgotten people were capable of being. It made him forget the idea of being alone. Made him crave something other than sleepless nights alone in a rickety bed. Made him wish he had someone to hold him again. Before he could hold back things started spilling out. He told you about his family, about the things he’d done, the people he’d killed and the truth of who he was. He’d expected you to run, grab a weapon, scream for help but you didn’t do any of those things. Instead you made your way over to him, placing a hand on his face and caressing his cheek. He looked up at you, the sadness in your eyes making his heart warm up. You felt for him. And in that moment it was like a damn inside him broke. The tears started pouring out of his eyes. All the pain and hurt he’d been hiding coming out all at once. You pulled him into your arms, your hands weaving into his hair as you shushed him. Frank latched onto your waist burying his face into your chest as he sobbed.

“That’s it, let it out dear. It’s okay.”

The two of you stayed linked in each other's embrace for a while before Frank sobered up a bit. He thanked you for the food and for listening to him and you told him it was your pleasure. He could tell you were telling the truth. Just as Frank was about to close his door you yelled out to him.

“Don’t be a stranger!”

And he knew there was no going back.

In the next few weeks you and Frank grew closer. Every morning he’d walk you to work before making his way to the construction site and everynight when he’d arrive there would be a container with food at his door. On Saturdays Frank would go over to your apartment for lunch and on Sundays you’d take him to your favorite restaurants. It was easy being around you. You didn’t push too much about his past and it was nice to not have to hide who he was. You liked having someone around and Frank made you feel safe. Just knowing he was on the other side of the wall in case you ever needed him made it easier to sleep at night. It got to a point that neither of you could be seen without the other and even though you didn’t know exactly what you two were you knew it wasn’t just friendly behavior.

One night you’d woken up to the sound of Frank banging on the walls as he screamed out in anger. You got out of bed, grabbed Frank's spare key and made your way over to his apartment. You knocked lightly on the door pressing your ear to it so you could hear inside.

“Frank, are you alright?”

No response. You knew about his night terrors, he’d told you about his bad dreams and the ptsd he had to deal with. The thought of him being alone when it happened tugged at your heart. You knocked again. Still no answer.

“I’m coming in, Frank!”

You unlocked the door, pushing it open slowly before entering the dark room. Your eyes adjusted to the lack of light from inside allowing you to see the rough outline of Frank's frame on his bed. You made your way to him, your hands moving to touch his shoulders. He flinched at your touch turning to look at you, a wild look in his eyes. His gaze softened once he realized it was you.

“You okay Frank?”

“Just a nightmare. Sorry I woke you. You can go back to bed i’ll be alright.”

He wouldn't be tough. Frank knew he wouldn’t sleep a wink after that dream. He'd just lay in bed looking up at the ceiling and trying to get those foul images off of his mind. You could tell he was lying. Of course you could. You’d spent enough time observing him to know the signs.

“Can’t bullshit me, Castle. Not anymore.”

Frank glanced at you as you gave him a small smile causing him to crack a slight smirk of his own.

“Can’t keep anything from you hum darling?”

“Lay down.”

Frank did as you said his body crashing onto the mattress. His eyes followed you as you moved to lock his door before coming back to his bed. You pulled the sheets over Frank's body, tugging them up so that you could move in next to him. Frank's brows furrowed as you laid down beside him and turned to face the opposite direction.

“Nothing bad is going to happen Frank. Not now that I'm here.”

Frank's shoulders sagged at your words. God you were an angel. What the hell had he done to deserve something so pure like you? You turned around to face him, your eyes finding him in the dark.

“This okay?”

You waited for him to kick you out but he didn’t.  Instead he pulled your body flush against his, his arms wrapping around your waist as you molded into his frame. You let out a content hum, snuggling into Frank's mattress.

“Night Frank.”

“Good night.”

Frank slept like a baby that night, the warmth of your body luring him into a deep sleep. It was an innocent gesture. The only idea in your mind had been about comforting a friend. Sure you liked Frank and if he offered something more you wouldn’t deny him but that hadn’t been your intention. Not initially anyway. 

It’s funny how fast things can change. 

You woke up the next morning to the sun shining through the thin curtains and making the room warm. You moved to stretch your body, pausing once you remembered where you were. Frank let out a small hum behind you causing you to recall what you’d decided to do last night. You’d been so focused on willing yourself to remember that this was real that you hadn’t noticed Frank's hand. There was no way it’d happened on purpose. Frank's hand was underneath your shirt. And that is not all. His palm was dangerously close to your breast. If he moved an inch he’d be cupping you in his hand. You closed your eyes as you let out a sigh. No way this was real. You had to still be asleep. Just as you were about to pinch yourself Frank stirred, his nose bumping into your neck as he moved closer to you. It was then that you noticed something was prodding at your ass. Frank Castle was hard. Hard and completely unaware of what that knowledge was doing to you. You tried to wiggle yourself out of his grip and spare yourself a weird interaction but the moment you moved you realized your mistake. Your hips had pressed against Franks hard on causing him to let out a groan, his eyes opening sleepily. Your eyes widened as they made contact with Franks who trailed his gaze down your body, eyes opening wide as he noticed what was happening. Before you could open your mouth Frank had sprang out of bed, his hands moving up in surrender.

“Ah shit. I’m so sorry I didn't mean to do that.”

You watched Frank stumble over his words as he tried to tell you that he’d never disrespect you like that and that he completely understood if you never wanted to see him again but that he was truly sorry. It was sweet of him to care so much but you’d be lying if you said you were paying attention to him rumblings. Instead your eyes were glued to his crotch. Frank noticed the blank stare on your face, his eyes trailing down to find what you were looking at.

“Oh fuck.”

Frank moved his hands to cover his hard on a blush staining his cheeks as your eyes found their way to his face.

“It’s a natural thing. It’s not your fault. Not that you couldn’t cause it i mean…shit i mean i’m not saying you’re not attractive enough-”

“Frank…”

“Dear god, I'm only making this worse. I just meant it happened other times too. But yeah you being so close to me didn’t help-

“Frank!”

Castle's eyes widened as you raised your voice forcing him to shut up. Now that you’d gotten his attention you moved closer to him, kneeling on the bed before reaching for his hands. You gazed up at him with doe eyes, your small hands wrapping around his large ones.

“I wanna see.”

Frank's breath hitched at your words a groan leaving his lips as he looked at you.

“Darling you don’t-

“I want to see you. I wanna see what I did to you.”

“Ah shit.”

Frank threw his head back as you moved his hands out of the way. You cupped his member through his sweatpants making him moan. You inched yourself closer to the edge of the bed allowing your feet to hit the floor before glancing up at Frank once more.

“You gonna let me take care of you? Or am I gonna have to beg?”

“Fuck sweetheart.”

You took Frank's flushed response as an answer, your hands grabbing the waist of his pants and tugging them down. To your surprise Frank wasn’t wearing any boxers which allowed his dick to spring free. You rubbed your thighs together at the sight, eagerly getting onto your knees in front of Frank. He towered over you and you couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to be railed by him. You’d find out soon enough. For now you were focused on bringing Frank some relief. Heaven knows he deserves it. You palm at Frank's dick for a bit before moving your head closer to his dick, allowing him to shove himself into your mouth. You struggle to breath, the pure size of him overwhelming. 

“Ahh, would you look at that? Taking me like a good fucking girl….”

You hummed at Frank's praise making him moan at the vibrations.

“You like that huh? Like listening to me praise you?”

You nod your head slowly keeping Frank's dick nudged deep in your mouth as you do.

“Well go on then. Show me what a good girl you are and suck me off.”

You do as you're told, moving your head up and down Franks shaft at a torturous speed. He liked it though. You could tell by the way the muscles on his stomach clenched at your movements.

“Attagirl.”

Frank's hand weaves into your hair, pushing his dick even deeper which causes you to gag lightly. Your hands make their way to Franks thighs, braceing yourself as he fucked your throat. Frank couldn’t help but watch his dick disappear into your eager mouth. He wondered,not for the first time, if this was real. If this was a dream he hoped he’d never wake up. 

Frank got lost in his pleasure, fucking into you faster and faster as he sensed his orgasm coming. He was close you could tell by how he twitched in your mouth but then, just as you were about to wrap your hands around his balls, Frank pulled out. You gasped for air you chest rising and falling rapidly as you glanced up at Frank

“What’s wrong?”

“Take your shirt off.”

You gave Frank a questioning look before doing as he asked. The second he caught a glimpse of your breasts Frank was a goner. You watched him wrap his hand around his cock before moving at a rapid speed. You didn’t understand what he wanted but then it hit you. Frank Castle wanted to cum on your tits. Wanted to mark your body as his. And you’d be lying if the thought didn’t make you fucking wet. You leaned on your palms allowing your breasts to perk up a bit more.

“Come on, Castle mark me with your cum. Let everyone know I'm yours.”

That was the last straw. Your words combined with the image of you on your knees tits perked up just for him made Frank's orgasm rip out of him.

“Ah fuckkk..”

You closed your eyes feeling Frank's seed spill against your chest and run down your body, soaking into your already damp underwear. You relished the sound of Franks moaning the thought that you were the one who caused them, filling you with pride. Your eyes snapped open when you felt a pair of hands latch onto your body. You glanced at Frank's eyes for a moment before pulling him into a steamy kiss. Frank's hands wandered around your body pulling you onto his thigh as he caressed your breasts, smearing his cum on you as he went.

“Such a good fucking girl.”

“Ah Frank!”

You gasped as Frank's lips latched onto your nipple, sucking on it harshly as you wrapped your fingers into his hair. You humped Frank's bare thighs, your need overwhelming you.

“Franky…”

“Yeah baby?”

“Need you.”

“Tell me what you need.”

“Fill me up.”

“Ah shit. Dirty little thing aren’t you?”

“Only for you Franky.”

“Oh is that so?”

Franks hands grabbed at your ass squeezing your cheeks roughly which caused you to buck against him.

“Franky pleaseeee”

“Patience. I need you to cum first. Think you can do that?”

“Uhhum but I need your help.”

“I’m right here baby. Take what you need.”

You understood what Frank was saying. You moved to straddle his hips pressing your clothed cunt against his muscular thighs. Frank guided your movements by holding onto your hips. You moaned as you found a good rhythm, your hips moving on their own. In any other circumstances you would have felt ridiculous about getting off on someone without them even touching you but the look of pure awe Frank was giving you made you realize you didn’t give a shit. You kept bucking against Frank until your legs couldn’t take it anymore.

“Frank…can’t anymore-uhu- so close.”

“Want me to help baby?”

“Please.”

God he loved the sound of your voice like this, all high and whiney for him. He could live off the sight of you all flustered and desperate, rocking against his leg like a bitch in heat. If he wanted to, he could be mean. He could let you get to your orgasm by yourself but the idea of watching you fall apart was much more appealing. So instead of torturing you Frank reached into your panties, his fingers latching onto your clit and rubbing the bundle of nerves. Two seconds later Frank's name ripped out of your chest, your cum staining his thighs as you reached your orgasm. Frank collapsed backwards pulling you on top of him as he went. The two of you stayed on the ground for a moment trying to catch your breaths. Franks massaged your scalp feeling your chest move up and down as your breathing became steady. 

“You okay darling?”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.”

Frank laughed at your words which made you smile. You looked up at Frank, your hand pulling at his beard and forcing him to look into your eyes. 

“One thing would make this perfect though.”

“Oh yeah what's that?”

“You railing the shit out of me.”

You watched as Frank's eyes darkened with lust, a smirk gracing his features. You propped yourself up laying your hands flat on Frank's chest.

“So what is it gonna be, Castle? You gonna fuck me? Or am I gonna have to take matters into my own hands?”

You punctuate your question by grabbing Frank's once again hard cock in your hand making him gasp at the feeling. In a matter of seconds Frank managed to get up, his hands wrapping around your thighs as he lifted off the ground. You let out a squeal when Frank threw you onto the bed before climbing on top of your body, his hands reaching down to rip your underwear off. You watched as Frank lined himself up to your cunt. He looked up at you with a smile on his face as he watched you gulp in anticipation.

“Careful what you wish for.”

Frank thrusted himself into you without warning, causing a groan to leave your lips as he filled you up.

“Ohhhh Frank….”

“Fuck darling-ughu- so fucking tight!”

You wrapped your legs around Frank's hips for support. Frank placed a hand against the headboard as he continued to thrust into you at a rapid speed. The bed frame creaked and groaned beneath the two of you. You were a mess of moans and mumbled words. Frank wasn't much better mumbling praises about how wet you were and how good of a girl you were being. Frank had never heard you curse before today but it didn’t surprise him to find that you had a dirty mouth on you. Especially when he started toying with your clit. His dick pulsated against your walls as they clamped down on him. One expert move of his fingers had you seeing stars, your mouth slackening as you moaned out his name.

“That it baby… that's it”

“Oh Frank, don't stop!”

He had no plan on stopping. In fact he’d keep you here all day if you’d let him. He’d fuck you in every position he could. He’d dine of your body for the rest of his days. He’d suffocate inside your thighs if that's what you’d want. Anything to keep you here with him. Anything to hear those pretty noises you made. He was close. You noticed the way his thrusts were getting more and more of tempo as his legs started to burn from the rapid movements he’d been making. Frank tried to pull out of you, fully prepared to cum on your stomach but you stopped him by pushing your heels into his ass. He looked into your eyes, his hair stuck to his forehead and his eyes were almost rolling back into his head but he managed to speak.

“Gotta let me pull out baby.”

“I want you to fill me up Franky. Remember?”

“Yeah but we didn’t use a condom.”

“Don’t need to. I’m on the pill. It’s okay, baby fill me up. Mark me with your cum.”

That right there did it for him. Before he could even respond, Frank's orgasm arrived, his hips moving frantically as he filled you up to the brim with his seed. Once he was done Frank collapsed beside you, careful not to squish you with his body. You threw your arm over Frank's chest snuggling into him as he came down from his high. You stretched your neck up leaving a kiss on Frank's cheek before laying your head back down.

“Thank you.”

“For the head?”

Frank let out a laugh. Always a jokester you were.

“For that too. But I meant for reaching out. For tolerating my shit. And for not running away.”

“I’d never run from you Frank.”

Frank placed a kiss on your forehead, his hands making soothing circles against your back.

“Hey Frank?”

“Yeah doll?”

“Can we make this a part of our daily routine?”

Frank's hand found his way to your chin raising your face so you were looking at him.

“I think we can fit it in the schedule.”

You smiled against Frank's lips as he kissed you tenderly. 

Thank heavens for that extra serving of spaghetti and meatballs.

[y0urm0mst0es]

Don't Leave

Kurt Wagner x fem!reader

Summary: You and Kurt love each other very much. What will happen when one of you dies?

Or

Kurt holds you in his arms while you die

TW: death, blood

Notes: for @wolfdiva3002 😋👍might not be canon compliant but I hope you like it

You and Kurt had been together for a couple years now. Since you live at the institute and he lives in Genosha, the two of you decided to visit one another for a couple days or weeks at a time.

This time, it was you visiting him. Genosha was throwing a banquet, and you and a few other X-Men were invited. During the party, he had taken you to the side to talk. You hadn’t thought anything about it strange until you heard his question.

“Y/N, I love you, more than anything. And, I would love to spend the rest of my life with you. So,” he pulled a ring from his pocket. “Will you marry me? I know this is kind of sudden but-” his sentence was cut short by you pulling him in for a kiss. 

“Oh my God, Kurt. Of course I’ll marry you,” you said, smiling brightly. He gently took your left hand and slid the ring onto your finger. You held your hand up, admiring the ring.

As you were about to speak again, a loud crash interrupted you. You and Kurt turned your heads in the direction of the noise. It was a sentinel attack. 

~*~

Smoke was the only thing that could be seen. The sentinels brutal attack on Genosha left miles of destruction. So many mutants dead or injured. Kurt was hurt, but the only thing on his mind was you. 

Kurt hadn’t seen you since you guys split up to fight and protect the Genosha citizens. Worry filled his mind as he wondered where you were. Had something happened? Kurt knew you were powerful and capable of handling yourself but he couldn’t help but think the worst had happened. 

“Kurt, get over here quick!” Rogue called. Almost immediately, Kurt teleported to Rogues side.

“What is it? Are you hurt?” he asked, concern laced in his voice. Kurt followed Rogues eyes to see where she was looking. Then he saw you. Your limp body was buried by fallen rocks and dirt. “Oh mein Gott..”

He rushed to your side, brushing the debris off your body and cradling your body in his arms. “Y/N, please wake up. Open your eyes,” Kurt whispered, moving strands of hair from your face. Groaning, you opened your eyes to look at him.

“Kurt, why do you look so sad?” you asked, bringing your hand to brush his cheek. He leaned into your touch, tears running down his face.

“You’re hurt, my love. Really bad,” he pressed his hand to your wound, trying to stop the bleeding, then looked at Rogue. “Did you see what happened?”

Rogue sighed and looked down. “She took a bad hit from the sentinel Gambit was fighting. She managed to get him out of the way but couldn’t move fast enough to avoid the shot. I’m so sorry, Kurt.”

Kurt looked back at you with a sorrowful expression. “How are you feeling, Y/N? Are you in pain?” he continued to hold you gently in his arms, wanting to make you as comfortable as possible. “Rogue, could you find a healer please?”

“Kurt, I don’t think-”

“Please, just-” his voice caught in his throat, unable to say another word. He buried his face in your chest, silently crying. Rogue understood that he wanted to be alone with you so she went to find a medic.

“Kurt, please don’t cry. You know I hate seeing you upset,” you said, your hand resting on the back of his head. 

“I can’t lose you, Y/N. Please don’t leave me.” Tears started to form in the corners of your eyes.

“I’m sorry. I wish it wasn’t like this. I really wanted to marry you and spend the rest of our lives together.” You let out a choked sob, tears spilling from your eyes.

“I love you so much,” Kurt said, looking back to you and holding your hand. You squeezed it lightly. 

“I love you too.” He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your lips. With the last bit of strength you had, you kissed him back. Kurt leaned back, looking at your resting face. You were gone.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom family :) We're finally back to new eps. I wasn't ready for this episode in the least. Idk I was ever gonna be ready tbh. If this isn’t the most apt ep name ever following the last ep. Bare with me as I once again sort through my thoughts and such. I'm really struggling with the 'mini' portion of these reviews the last few eps.

Ain't nothing mini about my emotions haha But I am sure come summer they'll be more refined for sure. Also thank you to anyone who reads these thoughts and enjoys them. It's still a trip to me people appreciate my thoughts. I just want to be a ray of sunshine and positivity with these.

A source of comfort while we all go through this together. Cause that's the beauty of fandom. Going through it together. Once again wanna preface there will be ZERO tolerance for bashing of any kind. They are both going through it right now. We all love these characters so much its why we're on here. I love conversation and comments but not spreading hate. With that in mind let's start eh?

6x07 Crushed

Tamara moving out still..... Ugh. I’m so sad about this. Truly the end of an era right here everyone. Also Lucy not wearing her necklace gut punch already to my feels...Poor Lucy wants her to stay but would never ask Tamara to do that. I wanna cry already for Lucy....I hate her necklace being missing and it's very obvious it's missing. *sad sigh*

I do love Lucy taking Tamara out to fancy dinner least. Channeling her emotions into something positive. Wanting to love on her before she goes. Tamara mentioning Tim getting kicked out of Metro…She isn’t wrong it is down hill after the pinnacle of Lucy indeed. Trying to give her a compliment but Lucy isn't taking it that way. I wanna cry for a second time. She looks so distressed. *sigh* Two massive pillars in her life are now gone and it's felt in this brief moment.

Tim in his old Metro office disassembling it. My heart. You all know how much I loved him In Metro. Killing me. Also just shows how much of a nose dive he took after this Ray debacle. Grey seeing this and sighing before going in after him. Tim seems like he’s in robot mode when Wade enters. Saying all the things he thinks Grey wants to hear since he’s back. No real emotion behind it. Just the grunt mentality he thinks he should have.

Gonna be more than just his trust you’re gonna need to earn back my love….Love Wade having him to ride along with Dr. London. Anyone needs it our boy does right now. Of course Tim bites back on this idea why wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t be Tim if he didn’t. Tim saying breaking up with Lucy has nothing to do with the Ray situation. Uh... it has everything to do with that my love EVERYTHING.

Grey standing his ground saying if he wants to regain his trust this is where it starts. I love him saying breaking up with Lucy and being bounced back to patrol due to being reckless makes him question his judgement. As it should…You forget Timothy this man watched you grow with Lucy for years. Saw how much she made you grew and joy she brought out in you. Of course he is questioning your actions. He just watched you throw away the best thing ever that's ever happened to you. Your judgement is being judged severely....

I adore Wade Grey. He's not only putting Tim in his place and saying he could mandate therapy (which he would be justified in doing...) Or take the ride along. Then saying he’s taking Lucy out too. Just so he knows he is looking out for them both in this moment. The man knows what he is doing.

I can’t believe Smitty doing breakup odds. I’m incensed by this tbh. Also I want punch the dude who said Tim would’ve cheated. He would NEVER. How very dare you. I hate that list. It makes me wanna rage out so hard. If any of them knew them at all they’d know it would never be something like that. Also her and Aaron? Ewww no no no.... Lucy had every right to ream Smitty out more than she did. So inappropriate it's insane. For shame sir truly.

I'm glad she shut it down. Last thing they need is the station gossiping about them like this. They're going to anyways but Ugh I hate this whole thing. I feel sick. Of course she runs into Tim right after.... Worst timing ever. Breaks my heart because he still is excited to see her but she isn't ready for him. How could she be? He looks so sad. But Tim what are you expecting my love? No way she is ready to be near you let alone talk. This hurts to watch…Lucy trying so hard just not to have a meltdown right there in the station.

I was very excited for him to have this ride along I will say and this opening scene is why. Dr London on his ass already. I love it. As she should be. Saying he’s bringing Aaron as a buffer. Which he is… Classic avoidance attachment style. That’s our boy. She’s not wrong he prefers surface level relationships (other than Lucy...) to a deep intimacy. His default state with anyone who isn't his girl.

She has him dead to rights already. Saying it’s a defense mechanism when someone is raised by an overly strict or domineering parent. A father. She’s not wrong. We all know his history. Tim of course isn’t about this whatsoever only making her assessment about him even more valid. Their scenes starting off real strong.

Grey wanting to check in on Lucy I do love it. He’s not wrong she’s been through HELL this year. The detectives exam, Jeff Budney and now losing Tim. God this hasn’t been an easy season for her. To say she's going through it is the understatement of the century. I'm hurting for her so very much. Her entire world has been rocked to it's very core in the last week alone. Not mention everything else before this.

It’s so awkward Lucy inviting everyone but Tim to Tamara’s going away dinner…. In front of Dr. London too. That shot from Tim’s body cam seems very intentional. As he looks at everyone she’s inviting but him. Way his head goes back and forth. Grey patting Tim on the arm on the way out. *phew* Rough start to the shift.

Of course their first call is disturbingly close to what she and Tim are dealing with. Not exactly what Lucy needs. Hearing this woman talking about thinking he was the one then it just ended. *heart clutch* Crushed is an apt name for how I was feeling during this episode.

Lucy has clearly kept this all inside for too long with her reaction to the situation. Wade would never set you up like that. Just shows how hyper sensitive she is atm. Why he's doing this ride along with her. He wants to keep you sane not crazy. I wanna hug her so much. 'I do watch too much reality tv. It's my bad' Lmao. Needed a little levity. This made me chuckle.

We hit the ground running about breakups with Dr. London. Honestly no need to beat around the bush for this observation of Tim. ‘Breakups are a trigger for many men. Especially since stereotypical gender roles prevent them from seeking out help. For fear of appearing weak.’ If that isn’t Tim and this entire situation right now…

Hell that's his ENTIRE life. He was shamed into never wanting help and if he did he was meant to feel weak for it. Just like she is stating above. She is very good at her job and just getting started. Tim can't hide in any of his normal brush off statements. Which I love. She has him pegged already and it shows. Quite the opening jab from her to start this off.

Lucy looks on verge of tears at all times right now and I’m dying. Especially when Grey brings up his name. Asking if they’ve talked since the breakup? Melissa straight killing me in this shop right now everyone. Those pre tears.....Saying she thought he didn’t care about her personal life. He’s not wrong if it affects her job it does matter. The point of this ride-along. To gauge where she is currently.

‘Smart to make the connection between IA and them breaking up. ‘Just a bad week.’ Oh its so much more than that…. Lucy protects him of course with the unethical portion. Bad place or not she's not going to cast any suspicion with that. But It’s so very clear she is painfully unaware why he did this to her. To them.

Only that he’s not emotionally available to her. *sigh* This is true. The man is a disaster zone atm. I mean he’s definitely occupied mentally in a way she doesn’t understand yet. Hell I don’t even think Tim understands it really. All he knows is he think's he's toxic and she’s better off without him. Which is a huge part of this episode tbh.

So she isn't wrong he is not emotionally available right now. That much is painfully true. The joke about the Diamondbacks was funny but sad at the same time. They found good way of getting little funnies in there with Grey. I do appreciate that. I'm a sports girl so I this made me smile.

Dr London really coming at Tim in this next section. She is wasting ZERO time with him. ‘Lot of romantic feelings start out as platonic love.’ Going right for it when she says he and Lucy were friends first right? His reaction…Gonna makes me bawl Eric. Hurts to watch this. Looks like he wants to cry. Ugh Tim. Killing me softly. She is getting under his skin quicker than he was expecting and you can tell. Hitting at a very raw nerve he's trying to keep hidden. He looks so distraught and emotional when he replies 'I was her T.O.'

Tim saying he’s not depressed. Oh my love….but you are. Depressed and wracked with a massive amount of guilt. ‘I broke up with her.’ So so defensive. Can’t let good doctor see this whole thing is crushing him. That would be weakness. He is fighting off a panic attack in this moment. So unsettled by this entire interaction. She is picking up on that guilt that is all but exuding out of him in this moment.

She really brings it home saying internalizing guilt and shame leads to self directed anger. Self harm and suicide. If that isn't Tim Bradford my god. The self directed anger is him in spades. His face while she tells him all this.. Oh my lord. She has him dead to rights once again. He is experiencing so much guilt about it and it’s written all over his face. Tim is barely keeping it together while she is telling him stonewalling will only get him sidelined. Honestly I’m glad she’s confronting him like this. Coming at him so hard cause Tim needs that especially right now.

He can’t have passive people in this life when it comes to this kind of stuff. The one person who could knock sense into him he’s pushed away. So Dr. London being here is much needed. Of course Tim snaps at Aaron cause he can’t handle what he’s currently going through. Lashing out because what she is saying to him is true and he isn't able to handle it. Hitting very close to home. So he's defaulting back to S1 Tim in this moment. Destroying Aaron in the process..

I love them talking about Tamara and the unconditional love Lucy has shown her. It’s so true. It’s that love that gave her courage to leave. Even though it's hard to watch happen. It shows what accepting unconditional love can do for you. Lucy bringing back to Tim because how could she not? Mentioning about letting people go even if you really care about them them. *sigh*. You can tell she is on the verge of tears once again.

That feeling where you've been keeping it inside for far too long. It comes out in anything you talk about. Like right now in this moment. Even talking about Tamara is cycling back to Tim and it shows how deeply upset she is. How could she not be? She is losing two of her people in one fail swoop. It's a miracle she hadn't lost it sooner than this moment tbh.

Lucy crushing me some more in this episode. Further proving she has zero idea why Tim did what he did. How he could let go so easily. It was a blindside for us all but none more than for her. His person. The one who never ever expected him to leave her side. Tim did leave her with a cheap cliche nonsense about deserving better. It's so much complex than that but I can see why she is so angry about that. She deserved better than that.

It’s what upset her so much in that 6x06 scene. Because it felt like a cop out to her. When it’s so much deeper than that but Lucy doesn’t know that. Thats what killing me and her. Lucy going off saying it was her decision to make what she deserves. It’s true. She is so justified in saying this. Sadly Tim made that decision despite her willingness to love him no matter what.

Took away her choice to keep him even if he felt he wasn't worthy. Wasn't just HIS choice to make. That's what pissing her off and rightfully so. He doesn’t understand the unconditional love she had to give him or how to accept it. All he could see was how much better she was without him. All she wants is a real conversation with him and she didn't get to have that. He took the choice away from her and she's left holding the emotional bag of it all and it sucks.

Punches keep rolling with Dr London. Attacking his problem at it's damaged root. As much as he is trying to bury it he cannot hide from her and her assessment of him. This is a huge turning point in the ep. Tim saying he owns his mistakes and moves on. So cut and dry and she isn’t having ANY of it. Nor should she. He hasn’t moved on in the slightest. Once again pegging him for not only not being over it but having his whole identity being wrapped up in acting honorably. If he was past that he wouldn’t have ended things with Lucy. We wouldn't be here. But he feels not worthy and not honorable enough for Lucy so he cut ties.

Her noting it’s had a devastating effect on his self esteem. Which is why he is punishing himself. i.e He let the love of his life go. He feels he doesn’t deserve such things for being so un-honorable. My broken boy. Tim isn’t sure what’s she is getting at. Asking what she's talking about? She continues to portray him accurately. That he is punishing himself by depriving himself of something he loves. Something that brings him joy. Or someone....Clearly that someone being Lucy.

The joy she brought to his life he no longer feels he deserves. Lucy was the one constant in his life that made him happy. So he’s depriving himself of it in order to punish himself. This sounds so harsh and severe but I relate to this. When I was new at my current job. I wasn’t very good at first. I was down right on the verge of being fired. I got a game plan to fix myself from my leader. BUT I was punishing myself for not being good enough in the first place. How did I do this? I took away something I loved and brought me joy. Music.

I refused to listen to music during my job because I felt I didn’t deserve it. I wouldn’t let myself enjoy it till I was better and had earned it back. I got to a place where I let myself have something I loved back and it helped so much and ultimately got me through it. So I relate to Tim doing this to himself i really do. He is denying the one person who brings him joy because of that self-punishment. He feels he has failed who he should be therefore he can't have what he wants and needs most. Lucy. You can really see it hit Tim by time Aaron rejoins them. She hit the nail on the head and Tim is feeling it.

Lucy spotting Tim and touching her tattoo SO MUCH. Ugh my heart. Her grounding method to remind herself she's a survivor. The problem with all that is him being the reason for that reminder. Which just hurts. I'm not crying you are....Tim so out of his depth all he can do is be awkward with his ‘Clocking out?’ Babe....No...(Also I feel personally attacked by this song they chose for this scene.)

Lucy calling him out for it instantly. Because well she’s his person. Bad place or not she is always gonna tell him what he needs to hear. Won't let him hide behind niceties. Confronting that things aren't ok between them and she won't let him use it to hide. Asking for a real adult conversation with him. One which he is NOT ready for. This hurt to watch not gonna lie. This whole situation hurts.

Tim deflects….with another cheap answer of saying he can’t give her what she wants. Ugh. You are everything she wants you foolish man. I don’t blame Lucy for cutting that convo off at the knees. She wanted more depth from him and got nothing in return. Telling him he has more to figure out than she realized…and feeling like she is no longer than person to help him with that.

My heart is breaking all over again… Lucy always felt she was his person to get him through anything and to hear this only hurts her further. Coming to that realization and taking off because of it. The song running through this scene is poignant and hurtful…Also the continual clutching to her tattoo as she departs from him. I'll just be weeping in the corner don't mind me....

I wasn't expecting the scene we got here in Grey's office. But was so pleasantly surprised. My hope was that Dr. London broke through to him. That his ride along with her wouldn't be a one-off. I’m so proud of Tim I can't even tell you. To not only see he has work to do but to ask if he could start seeing her as a patient. He seemed disappointed she didn't mandate sessions. Which he needed so he could advocate for himself. Blair had pegged him early on and I think this will be so so good for him.

His healing journey is starting now and I’m so excited for him. Even though my heart is outside my chest right now for our couple. This is going to be good for Tim. I know people have been weird about Dr London. I haven’t gotten a bad feeling from her. I could be wrong but haven't gotten that. I think this is the healing Eric was talking about. That journey he needs to be in order to find his way back to Lucy. Grey's line was perfect. It's SO hard to ask for help. Tim can see something is wrong and wants to fix it. This is a beautiful start to this journey for him.

This final scene with Tamara and Lucy made me cry. This whole ep has made me cry really. Their relationship has always been one of my favorites. To watch how they’ve both grown. How Tamara learned to trust again and receive that unconditional love Lucy had to give. Gah I love it so much. Took a broken untrusting girl and molded her into a confident bad ass. I've never been able to classify what they are. They're sisters, friends and family all wrapped up in one.

Hard to watch Lucy lose this piece of her life on top of everything else. Tim may have a lot of growth to do but I think Lucy too has room to grow from this all as well. She has been given quite the bad hand in this season. Maybe she can get some direction and clarity what she wants to do with career and such. I hate that she has to be the collateral damage to everything this year. It's hard to watch. But I am interested to see how she handles it all. See how she stands after all this. I think as hard as this is will end up making her more resilient.

Lucy been struggling with her own stuff this year as well. Being so good about pegging everyone around her but being blind in her own self awareness. it's going to be interesting to see how Lucy handles everything moving forward. I hope you all know how deeply my heart breaks for her. I don't like seeing her hurt anymore than I do Tim. I wanted to cry for her most of this episode. That being said I do think this growth journey will be good for her as well. Like Eric said she'll be ok they'll grow stronger from it. Can't wait to see how it plays out.

I wasn’t expecting one more scene with him reaching out like this. Telling her she was right. He’s mad himself. That stark realization that is coming over him. My god I’m so proud of him I could burst. Not only advocating for himself but telling her it was an emergency. When everything inside him is trying to do the 'honorable thing' and not call it an emergency when it is. To see he's not being a burden by reaching out like this. It’s so hard to take care of yourself when you don’t think much of yourself. It’s a foreign feeling and to act on it even more so.

Learning it’s ok to ask for help, to be imperfect, to set healthy boundaries and grow. Not an easy place to get to. This scene is HUGE for Tim. Now I mean this in the nicest way I can muster but If you can't grasp how groundbreaking this is for him you don't get him as a character at all. Nor do you understand the gravity of this SL/situation. Of what this final scene represents for him. Tim is seeing something is broken within himself and he doesn't know how to fix it. All he knows is something is wrong and he doesn't want to feel this way anymore. He wants to understand why and to get better.

I know I spent most of my 20's running away from therapy. Saying I didn't need it. That it was non sense. Pushing everything down and deflecting like Tim did. Wrapping my identity in the same things. Being SO DAMN HARD on myself. I still struggle with this but learning to give myself more grace. I can't properly explain the feeling you get when you realize you can't out run your demons anymore. What sets off something inside you that says 'I don't feel right, I don't know how to fix it but I know it's time to.' All I know is what sets it off is different for everyone.

For me it was the fact that I was set off by a kind comment. It was from a sweet lady who was a client of mine. Who commented on earrings my mother had gotten me. I hadn't thought much of it then she looked me in the eye with so much sincerity and said 'Your mother must love you very much.' That comment just hit me so hard. Triggered me. Cause some of my deepest seated trauma comes from my mom. I remember getting in my car and crying after. Texting my sister and telling her I thought it was time I got help. All I knew was something was wrong and it was clawing to the surface and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

That's Tim in this moment. Ray resurfacing was his demons coming up for air and not going away. This is his 'Come to Jesus.' moment about himself. Knowing what Dr. London was telling him today rang true. He just doesn't know to handle it and is reaching out for help to sort it out. Now He couldn’t gotten to this place without Lucy let’s not forget that. Tim wouldn't be in the place he is without her. BUT this is not Lucy's responsibility to fix. Nor should it be. As much as we love her being his person, this is Tim journey to go on.

Now my family/friends got me to place where I could see I needed help. Just like Lucy has for Tim. But it was up to me to take the first step. That's what this scene represents for him. His first step on his journey to healing himself. He knows he has work to do and I know he'll do it. He and I are alike and he will put his all into this. I'm excited the writers did what they did in this ep. Shows they're going to put the proper care into this SL. I can see a pathway way to their healing now and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in three weeks. I'm excited to see where the rest of the season goes for them both I really am. As always thank you for any likes, comments or reblogs I get for these they mean the world.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford. Mostly lol

I like the idea of Celina moving in but she’s not wrong it would be an emotional minefield… but do love the idea of her living Lucy I don’t want her to be alone. Have one little win for her.

This was the song during that finale scene. Thank you D to finding the link above. it's Chenford Personified in this ep. Once again whoever is doing this songs. You need a damn raise this hurt so good. The lyrics were so Poignant and painful. These one were my fav. 'I miss you. I miss you. I’ll always forgive you."

She will forgive Tim because that's who Lucy is. One of the many reasons Tim fell in love with her. That never ending desire to trust people and forgive them. To see the best in them. She will look at the deeper meaning of his actions and help him past them once he gets there himself. He will have to earn that forgiveness of hers and I have no doubt he will.

This will be a process of that I have no doubt. It won't be quick or easy but my god it'll be worth it. They always are. I don't expect this to be resolved by seasons end but I do expect them to be on their way there by the finale. This is a beautiful growth journey they're about to embark on and I'm ready to go on it.