#id feel bad eating into it just so she has to spend more time with me even tho we already live together. nightmarish ik

[toastsnaffler]

damn I rly have another 4 weeks of holiday this year huh. I should start making some plans

[yelshin]

FRIENDLY SLEEPOVER | MLIST

﹙SCARAMOUCHE/WANDERER X FEM READER﹚

An: big credits to that one person(aka @/yourlocalstranger123) who gave me this idea and motivation UwU(it came out/not me)

Tw: grammatical errors (its me using grammarly/j)

Feeling lazy to get out of your bed and do your routine you decided to stay and cuddle with your kitten, not long after your phone rang and it turns out it was Hu tao! You answered the call feeling lazy to speak up.

"Hey [Name]! Wanna hangout again?" You could literally hear Yoimiya and Ayaka at the background giggling at each other, you stare down at your cat who's sleeping peacefully and god he's just so cute! You can't just leave him alone (if ykyk).

You cleared your throat making sure your voice sound raspy before answering Hu tao "I'm really sorry Hu tao but... Cough I can't hangout with you guys because im..sick." you excused and you could feel Hu tao frowned through the phone "Alright! But make sure to rest well and hope you will be better so that we can hangout again! Take care [Name]!" She ended the call and you found your self giggling while rubbing your nose to Kuni's head squealing in happiness

"Now that im 'sick' you and i can spend time together!" You hugged Kuni tightly. While you two are busy cuddling you suddenly heard someone knocked on your door, feeling the momment is ruined you're a little bit mad because the audacity of this person interrupt your momment.

You opened the door to see the construction worker(?) "We got all materials miss, we can start building the room now" You smiled at them before stepping aside and let them do the work.

"meow" your kitten meowed while hiding under your pillow while the loud sound of drilling machine irritates him so much that your pillow is full of scratches but you don't mind, you can just buy new ones anyway.

"Kuni i know its loud and annoying. As much as i want to go out of house right now i cant risk being caught by Hu tao and the others especially i faked my sickness.." if ever your friends caught you red handed they will drag you more on hangouts meaning you wont get to spend time with your cat and you don't want that!

Kuni got out of the pillow before hopping off the bed and sulks on the corner (just like the 3rd pic above) while he let out small meows and you felt bad, but thank god your brain works faster when it comes to Kuni instead of your homework (this is true fight me if disagree) you walked up to Kuni before picking him up and go to the nearby 7/11 (i love 7/11) and eat ice cream and ofc to take break from the noises (not that noises.. what're u thinking?🤨or is it js me)

"[Name]?" You flinched at the voice behind you; turns out it was your long time friend Xiao! 'What a coincidence that he's here at 7/11..' you usually found him eating almond tofu alone at the roofs but its not like you're not happy to see him

"oh hello Xiao" you greeted, ignoring the fact Xiao and your cat are sending daggers at each other (imagine Xiao is also a kitten that [Name] adopted before kuni🤔🤔🤔 thoughts???) 'whos this little cat think he is?' Xiao thought and have a little chat with you and bid goodbye after.

"Now..." You turn your head to Kuni who's pawing your stomach wanting your attention all over him "you wanna go home? But its still-" "Meow." You sigh and drag Kuni along with you at your house to be greeted by a loud noise again .

It has been weeks and now Kuni's room is finally done. You decided to invite your friends including Xiao, you just thought of inviting him since he's always lonely (idk id i should laugh or feel bad💀)

You heard your doorbell rang and you quickly rush to open it to see your friends having their own pajamas and some blankets for the pillow fort. "Its nice to see everyone being present well come in! Make yourself comfortable."

Well they didn't expect a grumpy cat greet them across the living room. Yoimiya and Ayaka look at each other; sweatdropping

"haha..maybe your cat doesn't want us to be here [Name].." you brush it off before saying "don't worry he's like that when he sees new faces"

"LOOK AT HIM GO!" You clapped while standing proudly like a parent watching their child have baby steps while Kuni tried his best to impress you by standing for 10 seconds "YOU GUYS SEE THAT RIGHT?? ISN'T HE SOOOO CUTE!" you cooed while giving your cat some treats and the others look so done.

"i regret going here."

"hello brother? Yes i wanna go home-"

"..."

"is it possible to give myself a coffin discount?"

"now do you guys wanna play a game?" You turn your head to your friends while they awkwardly look at you "Yeah! But i think we need some snacks because playing games without snacks are boring" Yoimiya answered "Alright! I'll go to 7/11 to buy some snacks while y'all stay here and think of any game." You got up before grabbing your wallet to buy some snacks.

Kuni look at the door before transforming to human Infront of your friends (yall dw he have clothes and dont ask me how🥰)

"WH-WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" Hu tao shrieked along with the 2 other girls while Xiao have wide eyes. Scaramouche sigh before looking at them with bored eyes "WHO ARE YOU?! ARE YOU [NAME]'S CAT?? BUT HOW一"

"Yes its me [Name]s cat. Got a problem?" It took like a minute for the others to calm down and realized the situation 'does [Name] know about this?' Ayaka thought as they heard the door opened.

"Hey guys im back一"

An: hehehehehehehe CLIFFHANGER BCS YES. Also i need some requests bcs im bored and now that my mailbox is open y'all can send requests now! Also this one is rush jajjajaajwunebdkeusndbf

Taglist: (the bold ones are the one i cant tag.) @thetwinkims @sunsethw4 @etherisy @kunikuzushicandegrademefr @Heiijoxz @eliciana @naritecs @kkazuyass @itztaki @makilovescofi @louise-rosita-leroux @w9vyy @lystaaa @midoriapologist @lilithticalx @red-chester @yushiu @raideneiari @scaraapologist @kxr0mi

[jsprnt]

Healing Hearts PT.2 | Virgil van Dijk

Would a fresh start bring you more than just a new job?

WC: 2.892

Summary: Y/N L/N is a very skilled and praised physiotherapist. A certain event pushing her for a fresh start, as a physiotherapist for Liverpool FC. One question always being in the back of her mind: Will she be able to let go of her past and allow herself to experience new things?

I am awoken by the blaring sound of my alarm. Why do I always have to wake up when my bed gets so comfy? I groan, fighting the urge to snooze my alarm, checking the time while at it. It's six now, two hours to make this face look like it has seen more than four hours of sleep.

I check my messages before washing up. Walking out to the bathroom to put on my outfit. Some 90's style jeans and a body hugging cropped shirt. Nothing too much, I'll have to wear my scrubs anyway. I make my bed and do some breathing exercises to calm my nerves, meeting new people was still a big challenge for me. I finish eating breakfast and turn on the coffee machine for a nice frothy cup of coffee. Admiring the view behind my window as I sip the last bit of my coffee. The city is not entirely up yet, people still enjoying their last minutes of sleep before going to work or school.

Walking back to my room for the best part of my morning, doing my make up! I apply my base carefully. First day means first impressions, I can't go overboard, not yet. I curl my long lashes, coating them with mascara. Lining my lips with brown liner, some lip balm on top for a subtle look. I take out my jewelry box, grabbing my usual gold necklace. It was custom made, adorning my name, a graduation gift from my mom. I look into the mirror, humming a song in satisfaction as I do my hair. I grab my bag, stuffing it with things I might need throughout the day. Finally, putting on my Nike dunks and leaving my house.

I walk downstairs to my car. Thankfully my dad had arranged for it to be imported from Spain a couple weeks ago, when I accepted this job. My dad had a thing for paying for my things, maybe it  was to make up for our strained relationship or something. Either way, I wasn't going to refuse his help, it benefited us both anyways. He'd feel like a present father, and I'd feel like he cared.

I jump into my car, the dashboard lighting up. I run my hands around the steering wheel for some comfort before I hit the road. The leather soft as I trace the Mercedes logo, I loved this baby. My G-class never failed to make me feel like the bad bitch I am. I told you working hard and spending hard had its perks. I turn on the navigation system, hoping it would take me straight to the training grounds without any issues.

I turn on some music, trying to drown out my nerves and thoughts. It was never too early for some Drake. I try to pay special attention to my surroundings, since the more I memorize, the faster I can get used to this route. My navigation system pings as it tells me I've arrived. I scan my surroundings, being greeted by a security post. I drive up to it, turning my music off and rolling my window down.

"Good morning, I'm here for the new physiotherapist job." I flash the security guard a smile, he is an older man, his hair graying slightly. I might as well get friendly since I'll be here almost everyday from today onwards. "Morning to you as well. Could you some show me some sort of identification, please?." I can't help but stare at the man, his scoucer accent making it hard for me to understand right away, I should get used to it quickly. I nod quickly pulling my ID from my wallet. He looks at it, scanning through a list, probably a list of staff? His eyes light up as he, I presume sees my name on the list. "Welcome, Dr. l/n, I'll call up the head coach so he can greet you at the door." He gives me a kind smile, handing me my ID back. "Thank you, I appreciate it." I shove my ID back into my wallet, driving into the training center parking lot as the gates open for me. I park, collecting my bag as I jump out of my car. Though, not before fixing my hair and make up.

I take in my surroundings, so this is what I'll be partially calling home now. I notice some other, what I presume to be staff walk into the training center. I walk in as well, immediately being greeted by the huge Liverpool FC emblem. I hold onto my bag tightly, trying to contain my nerves.

I look to my right, the reception. The woman behind the desk looks up, flashing me a smile as I go up to her, sitting down on the chair in front of her desk.

"Hi, I'm y/n l/n. I'm here for the physiotherapist job." She stares at me for a moment, before typing something on the computer. "Nice to meet you! I'm Clara, welcome to our family. I'll call down our head physio, just a second honey.”

Her response warms my heart as I nod. So far, I think I'll feel quite comfortable here. She picks up the phone, though her expression changes into one of surprise as she looks behind me, over my shoulder. "Oh, he is here already."

My eyes follow hers, being greeted by a man, around his 50's. He walks up to me, extending his hand to me. "Welcome Dr. l/n. I've heard a lot about you, nice to finally see the woman being so highly spoken of by my colleagues." I smile and grab his hand in a firm handshake. "It's an honor to finally meet you, Dr. Woods."

He chuckles, before letting go of my hand. "Let's talk more inside, the boss wants to meet you as well." I turn back towards Clara, mumbling a quick thank you to her, before following Dr. Woods inside the training center. I glance around, it’s is even bigger in real life. I had watched some YouTube video's of the club just to prepare and calm my anxiety, but seeing it in real life was very different. We stop in front of an office, the label reading 'Manager'. I raise my eyebrows in surprise. I'd already be meeting THE Klopp. I rub my hands together trying to get rid of that anxious feeling.

Dr. Woods knocks on the door loudly, the door is opened a couple of seconds later, revealing Klopp.

"Hey, I'm here to introduce our new physiotherapist." The doctor informs. Klopp looks at me, giving me one of his famous smiles. "Right of course, come in." He opens the door wider, we both walk in. He ushers us to sit down on his red sofa's. He sticks out his hand, we shake hands as he introduces himself, with that all too well known German accent. "It's always nice to greet new members of our big family. Welcome, I'm Jürgen Klopp." I introduce myself as well, his eyes light up in recognition as I tell him my name. "I've heard very great things about you Dr. l/n. I'm very happy to see you here."

"No it's an honor for me, this club is amazing and I'm happy to contribute to the team." I reply, my worries and nerves had been washed away just like- that. I just know that this was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

We start chatting about how I've adjusted to living here, my education and my experience before they start asking different questions.

"So that means you speak how many languages?"

Dr. Woods asks curiously.

"Well my native tongues would be Dutch since I was born and raised in The Netherlands and Turkish, since I'm half Turkish. I'm also fluent in English as you can hear." We chuckle. "Though I do speak some Spanish and Catalan since I worked at FC Barcelona for two years, as you know."

"Great so you'll have no problem with speaking to the players huh? Especially our very loved Dutch players." We laugh at Klopps comment. I secretly hope that too.

Our conversation comes to an end as Klopp suggests I meet the players. He checks his watch, before looking at me. "Players will come in any moment now. They'll start with warming up." Dr. Woods chimes in. "It will be a recovery day since the team played a match yesterday as you may have followed."

Oh yeah I did. I watched it just so I could take notes on the players, the draw at the end was kind of disappointing. Though, it was better than losing.

"Right, I did watch it. Just to study a little before I do see the team play in real life."

"You're impressive Doctor, doing homework before even starting to work." Klopp says. "Oh it's nothing really, just prepares me for what I might encounter as I start working here." I dismiss.

We stand up after a short while, Dr. Woods taking me to put on my scrubs. I mentally pray they have pink ones, both of my former clubs did have them. He walks up to a machine, telling me exactly how the scrub dispenser worked. I nod, pressing some buttons before choosing my size. The scrubs are a- dark red? Well, at least they are part of the club colors. Dr. Woods leads me to the woman's staff changing room. I walk and change quickly putting my hair up in a claw clip.

I walk out of the room after putting my stuff in my locker, and installing a code on it. "I'm ready."

I tell him, he looks at my scrubs for a second. "Red looks great on you Dr. l/n, part of the family already." We chuckle before he leads me to the gym.

A sudden wave of nervousness hits me. I had known that the players were very friendly, still I couldn't help but feel like an unsure inexperienced intern again. We walk into the gym, it's big with plenty of space for calisthenic training like, push-ups and burpees. I look around seeing some the worlds best star players. I've worked some of the best football players like Lewandowski and Frenkie de Jong, but this still felt super insane.

I notice Klopp walking in as he calls for the players to gather around to introduce me. I glance around, they all give me a kind smile as Klopp tells them I'll be their new physiotherapist starting this new season, and of course he couldn't help but mention I'm Dutch. "Nice to meet everyone, I look forward to working with you all." I give them a smile, my dimples on full display. Suddenly, one of the players walks up to me, I immediately recognize him, who wouldn't? It's the caption of the team, well of his national team too. Virgil towers over me, sticking out his hand, his tall frame couldn't be compared to what you see on TV or the pitch. "Welcome to our team y/n, or should I call you doctor." He flashes me a beautiful smile, making me shake his hand and smile in respons. "Hi, y/n is fine, it's good to be here." Other players come to greet me as well, not to forget Robertson, who has to crack a joke about another Dutch person joining the club. "You'd think it was planned huh." We laugh and chat for a bit before Klopp redirects the attention back to him.

"Alright everyone, it's recovery day so take it easy and tell our doctors if something's up as they assist you."

Dr. Woods turns to me, telling me to follow his lead as I slowly start getting the gist of how everything works here. I nod at him, watching as he talks to the players about any soreness they're experiencing.

The day progress quickly as lunch time hits, we walk into the canteen. Seems like players and staff eat at the same time just like in Barcelona.

I walk through the the buffet as I'm greeted by Gakpo.

"Dus je bent echt Nederlands?" (So you're actually Dutch?) he asks in Dutch, full of curiosity. "Natuurlijk, geboren en getogen. Net als jij." (Of course born and raised. Just like you.)

He gives me a cute smile before we continue speaking in Dutch as we fill up our plates with healthy and delicious food.

He invites me to sit with the team. I glance at him wondering if it is a good idea. Well I did sit with the players at Barca too. "Are you sure?" I ask. "Yeah, look around players sit with staff at every table." I take a glance around, he was right staff and players were sitting together at every table. Chatting and laughing together. "Okay then, I'll sit with you guys."

He leads me to a table, already occupied by Trent, Virgil, Joel, Andrew and new star transfer Dominik Szoboszlai. "Doctor, very nice of you to sit with us." Virgil chimes in. "Well I couldn't refuse when Cody offered, we're practically already family based on the fact that we're Dutch hm." The table erupts in laughter, as we glance at Cody. "Of course the Dutch lad steals the doctor before we get to know her." Trent teases, his Scouse accent thick. "Where did you work before joining us?" Robbo asks, shoving a spoonful food into his mouth. Everyone at the table turns to me for my answer.

I clear my throat before answering. "I first interned at Ajax, I got a three year contact there after graduating. Then I got offered a position at Barcelona, worked there for two years." They nod in acknowledgement. Before Cody mentions something. "Oh you're the famous pretty doctor?!" I stare at him confused. "What do you mean?" "Well the national team players used to always talk about a pretty doctor working at Ajax." I raise a brow at his words, glancing at Virgil to confirm, since he also is apart of the national team. "Can't lie Doctor, they did talk about a pretty Doctor." I give them an impressed look. "I guess that would be me?" I chuckle.

We chat some more as everyone chimes in, though some of their faces turning confused. "Wait how old are you then?" One of them asks. "Oh I'm twenty-five." I reply. "Wow, you're pretty impressive for someone so young." Joel says. I thank him as we all continue eating and chatting in between bites.

Recovery training had gone by fast. I had gotten much more familiar with team and how they operate. Klopp dismisses everyone, as we all walk back into our designated changing rooms. Though, I'm quickly stopped by Dr. Woods. He tells me he'll make sure someone adds me to the staff group chat, as well as the group chat the entire club is in. We then bid each other goodbye as I enter the female staff changing room. I take a minute to sit down and to take it all in, that really just happend huh.

I change quickly putting my outfit back on and discarding my scrubs into the laundry basket. I do a quick make up refresh and hair fix before I grab my bag and take out my car keys. I walk through the hallways slowly, looking around for things I might have not seen yet. I’m totally in my own world before I hear my name being called. I turn around, I'm greeted by both Trent and Dominik, seems like they had been getting along nicely since Dominik had transferred here.

"Are you going out?" The new star asks. "Yeah, you guys aren't?" I lift a brow at them. I can see small smirks on their faces, they look like schoolboys hiding something. "Oh yes, we're leaving just now." We chat a little before we walk outside, saying goodbye to Clara at the reception. I notice other cars had parked right next to mine. "Bye doctor, we'll see ya tomorrow, right?" The Scoucer says. I nod "See you guys!" They wave before they both get into their respective cars.

I unlock my car, climbing in before closing the door. I place my bag onto the passengers seat, leaning back for a second. First day: survived.

Sadly, my peace is interrupted by a loud car horn. I raise my head and lower my window, it's the car next to me? I squint, it's an English car so I can see who it is from my seat. The person lowers down his windows as well. It's Virgil?

"What's wrong?" I half shout, so he can hear me through the loud engine of his car. "Nothing just wanted your attention." I chuckle, man these football players never got tired of teasing people. I roll my eyes playfully, before starting my car. I wave at him, before driving my car out of the parking slot.

I get home rather quickly, my speakers playing my favorite songs loudly. I enter my house, feeling fulfilled. I throw myself on my couch after washing up. I reflect on the day, the players and staff were amazingly kind. Though, that small interaction with Trent and Dominik was weird, why were they so smirky?

[ghostismybbygorl]

Okay heres how id vibe with cod characters

First off i think my call sign would be 'mouse'

Bc im small i can scurry around places pretty quick and i can escape out of a situation fast as well that or cause i sneeze like a mouse

Id be a sniper and demolition expert ngl

Price

Legit i would call him dad 24/7 not like in a daddy kind of way but like legit a father figure

he'd just roll his eyes and accept the fact that he has another kid he has to take care of

100% would smoke a cigar with him though id smoke those tiny cigarillos (my brother smokes cigars and ill smoke a little with him)

Gift giving is my love language so whenever id visit a new country id buy him a cigar from there

I have a hat like his and i WILL wear it around and mimick him

Id do the grunts and everything

I feel like id be on more missions with him than anyone else

Definitely would hang out in his office to keep him company and annoy the shit out if him

Soap

Dont let anyone near us

Like

AT ALL

wed be doing diabolical shit especially since im an arsonist and free will plus military grade explosives plus mouse and soap. have the fire department on speed dial

We'd be the reason price is greying faster

100% stealing his shirts and hoodies they'd be so big on me

Im gonna be up front with this one

We'd be fucking. I'm down bad for this man

We'd annoy the absolute piss out of ghost. He can handle one soap but TWO hes gonna need the backpack leashes for us

Quoting vines and tiktoks ON THE DAILY

Jam seshes in the car would be 100% perfect

We'd have a snap streak and its only stupid photos we take

Im recording everything he does i know damn well hes always in a silly goofy mood

Definitely in the blunt rotation

He's definitely the type to find my snack rations and eat them in front of me

Lots of hugs and kisses for this man

Except when he eats my snacks

Wed play fight all the time. When i'm really close with someone ill start "beating them up" (just be faking to fight you)

Ghost

Oh this poor poor man

Have sympathy on him because he's going to try to avoid every ounce of my being

And i wont stop that

Im giving him hugs left and right this man needs some love

I feel like once i start cracking dark humor jokes he'd open up to me

100% would be making the most absurd worst dad jokes and laughing about it

We'd text on the daily mostly just me sending him memes and him sending a 👍🏻or a 👎🏻

Im stealing his hoodies and his masks

Id probably piss him the fuck off to be honest

Id give him so many gifts to make him happy i know he crinkle's his eyes when he smiles

In the blunt rotation too but i think he'd just join for the company and not smoke that much

Id be over in his room if im overstimulated and i don't want to deal with people

Id have him proof read my fanfiction and he'd be my personal dictionary cause i cant spell for shit

Gaz

Did i say big brother vibes cause HE WILL BE MY BIG BROTHER

Id steal his hat so many times but like not in the ride a cowboy kind of way

Id buy him the most ridiculous hats and he will 100% wear them

I feel like he was a spondgebob kid so i know damn well we'll be quoting some of the lines

Part of the blunt rotation as well

When I'm upset he's the one id rant to

Definitely would vibe in a room without talking to him in general

He's most definitely the one to keep me from being unhinged

Totally would listen to murder podcasts together

So at my previous job we had to wear full body harnesses and we played this game called the carabiniere game where you take a carabiniere and hook it on to someone without them knowing and you see who can put the most on them

Soap, gaz, and i would be playing it 100% all the time with each other.

Id also grab them by the harness and pull them around or clip myself to them

Let me get a video from my old job and just put em here and id just explain

Okay back to writing

Laswell

Once again id call her mom and she's just gonna have to deal with it

Id definitely spend time with her outside of work (especially since she lives in maryland my family lives up there) which gives me more of a reason to visit her lol

Shopping sprees i feel like she's a frequent shopper at tj maxx and target

I also feel like she gives the best life advice so id come calling if im in a predicament

Okay so i am partially fluent in spanish, my god mother and best friend are Mexican so I've been around Mexican culture the majority of my life

Alejandro

definitely calls me niña or cariño

I feel like he'd roast my spanish and doesn't correct me if i say something wrong

100% my drinking buddy

I feel like he'd be very protective over me

Id be his date (platonically) and hed be mine to all the family gatherings

Fucking Mexican families are so much fun too. party my tia throws one and im there two shots of tequila in my hand listening and damcing to music

We'd text on the daily i feel like he'd frequently visit me and my family in the south as well he'd be the life of the party at my tia's parties

Rudy

He's the one that corrects my spanish and WILL only speak spanish to me until I understand whst he's saying

Insert him pointing to a random object and says it in spanish

I feel like we wouldnt bond much but we would you know?

I also feel like he gives great life advice

Graves

Id kick him in the balls

He's the type of guy i avoid or ruin his reputation

Absolutely despise him

Completely roast that motherfucker

Drop kick him

He pisses me off so much

Gives off leo and cancer energy

OHOHOHOHHH AND AT THE BETRAYAL SCENE DONT GET ME STARTED

Id 100% try to fight him even before Alejandro would

Tbh id probably get killed by one of his shadows bc of it

König

Sweet babe i would help him through an axiety attack

PIGGY BACK RIDES FOR SURE

id hug him every-time i see him

Definitely would say uppies and have him put me on his shoulders

He definitely wont see me at all ( im 5'4) so he would definitely have to crouch down to see me

His nickname would be bear cause of how big he is

I feel like when he'’s comfortable around you he’s very out going

I have no clue how to speak german but i will act like i do

He's in the blunt rotation as well

Thats all i got for now 😊

[wolvesbaned]

for that character prompt exercise (feel free to pick and choose lol): 7, 9, & 10 for Al; and/or 1, 3 & 8 for Lupa!

For Al I answered #7 here!

9. What is their favorite holiday? (How do they relate to their culture/outside world. Also fun is least favorite holiday.) 

Christmas!! Al loves it a lot. She likes making presents for people if possible, she loves decorating, she loved her grandmas' and mom's cooking. she gets so into the Spirit of it. She used to create drawings and comics for her mom/cousins all the time as gifts! She would spend the morning at church, then with her whole family for the day afterwards, and though there was a tinge of sadness bc of her dad's death, Christmases were always core memories for her. her first glove and bat, first bike, the pair of glasses she really wanted--her mom would always splurge to get her what she really wanted bc she loved her so much, and so along with the good times she also remembers her mom that way. None of the other monsters really like Christmas but they come around to make an effort bc they're helplessly endeared to Al :']

(here u go. mistletoe sketch <3)

least favorite holiday is halloween bc of a Certain Traumatic Event (it's a spoiler!). it didn't always used to be bc as a child she hated the how loud fireworks were on the 4th of july and that soured it for her for a long time. she would eat her consolation hot dog under the bed covers and try and read comics with a flashlight.

10. What objects do they always carry around with them? (What do they need for their normal, day-to-day routine? What does ‘normal’ even look like for them.)

Baseball bat for. a weapon djkjf. her bandana obv. a med kit for the other monsters (it has a lot of bandaids). a million crumpled lists in her pockets of things to remember (that she forgets). on a carabiner: rubber bands or hair ties, mostly there to be fidgeted with; swiss army knife; key to her mom's old house in georgia. no wallet. you don't really need an ID if you can get away with starting an interaction w/ 'Be not afraid'.

1. What is the character’s go-to drink order? (this one gets into how do they like to be publicly perceived, because there is always some level of theatricality to ordering drinks at a bar/resturant)

my girl Lupa loves beer. probablyyyy modelo. and presidente when she can get her hands on it. she doesn't really care how people perceive her taste. she can't drink it too much bc she went a little overboard in high school and so now she has just the perfect amount of high tolerance that makes her think Just One More Will be Fine (not only is this bad for her as a werewolf bc they have a generally lower alcohol tolerance but also she's a stupid sad drunk past her twenty minute fun stage. the thoughts don't stop running. oops!)

3. What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? (Gets you thinking about socio-economic class, values, and how they spend their leisure time)

Lupa really doesn't have disposable income until her late 30s so within the story i'm telling uhhh . probably the windbreaker she wears in the third season.

OH wait i remembered. she saves up a whole summer to get herself braces as a teenager bc she was super embarrassed abt her teeth and her parents couldn't afford and also refused to help her with it. she also saves up a good amount to apply to the colleges she wants to get into. that's it's own story.

Oh and I also answered #8 here!! i really like this answer too it's v in depth

[mushroomjar]

hey whats the deal w diana and calliope

[ID: Scribbly drawing of a person looking up at the viewer with big puppy eyes, smiling. End ID]

KICKING MY LEGS AND GIGGLING OMGGGG OKAY OKAY

You're right, what IS the deal with them? KSKSKSS Okay I'll tell you a bit about them, but like always, under a read more, because I always get embarrassed talking about my OCs here lol

Btw I'm in the middle of writing my response and I have to say omfg I feel so embarrassed pleeeease don't be mean I will cry

I guess I'll just start by showing what they look like, which I made in a Picrew, like always (if anyone wants the link to the Picrew let me know, I use this one all the time lol)

So this is Diana (she's actually supposed to have light blonde hair, not white, I'm a bit lazy to change the photo rn but yeah):

[Image Description: A cartoonish Picrew of a white woman with long white hair and blue eyes sat down in an alley, smiling. She wears a white frilly button-up under a white apron dress, white shoes, and has a rosary tied around her wrist. There's a knife sitting next to her. End Image Description]

And this is Calliope:

[Image Description: A cartoonish Picrew of a white woman with a dark brown mullet and dark brown eyes sat down in an alley, frowning. She wears a black shirt with a dark red skull, black pants, white socks and black converse shoes. There's a kitchen knife sitting next to her. End Image Description]

I'm probably gonna skip a lot of details in this (but if you want more details you can always DM me), but the gist of it is Cal and Diana had been dating for a very short amount of time (think 2-4 months), and one day while in Diana's house, Calliope finds out that Diana eats people, and she gets freaked out, and Diana tries to explain herself because she does it out of love, but Calliope just leaves, and she doesn't do the "call the police" thing (though she does almost do it) but she just spends a couple of days without talking to Diana and just thinking by herself, and she realizes after a while that she's not just thinking "holy shit she's insane" but she's also thinking "I want to see her again, I need to see her again", and it's this mix of thoughts "she's insane what's wrong with her I love her we need to still be together but why she's EATING PEOPLE-"

Anyway a couple days later Calliope goes back to Diana's house, and when Diana opens the door for her Cal's just like "Show me," and Diana's like "Show you what?" And Cal's like "Show me how you do it. Eat" (those aren't the exact words but it's just to give you an idea of what happens)

And so she does that, she lets Calliope in and she takes a part from one of the bodies she has and she cooks it and eats it and Calliope's watching her do all of that, and while a part of her's still like "what the fuck am I doing she's insaneee", what she's finding is more of... it's not as bad as she imagined it would be. Gruesome, sure, but not as much as she feared. And she realizes not just that she doesn't mind, but also that... she kind of gets it. There's something about how Diana does everything that makes her believe her when she says that she does this out of love. So after the wonderful dinner they have a basically sort of Q&A where Calliope lets Diana speak, explain herself, and she listens, and once they're done Calliope says she's gonna think about this for a couple more days, and leaves, and then she does come back some days later and says that she's still very much in love with Diana and that she wants to be with her and support her in all her ways of showing love

So that's basically like the first chapter in their story, as you can tell I skipped out on some details, mainly because there's some stuff about it that I might change, like I said this is all still a huuge WIP, but that's basically the start of their relationship. Btw they're both insane, Calliope later starts killing people, but I don't think I'm gonna tell you about that in detail because all of the scenes I had for that are even bigger WIPs than what I just told you and I'll probably have to re-write all of them anyway, just know their dynamic later turns into "Calliope kills people and Diana eats them"

But at the heart of the story is just... fucked up messed up ways of love, I'd say, both because of Diana's cannibalism being fundamented on it being a way for her to show love in the deepest most profound manner she can think of, and Calliope later becoming fully devoted to doing everything just for Diana (she starts killing people to keep Diana safe, at least in her eyes). That's something that I always want to emphasize on whenever I'm talking about them to my friends or something, they're not "oohh they're delusional so that's why they're together," like yeah they are fucked up, but they truly are both in love with each other in the deepest way you can think of, like the story would not happen the way it does if they weren't in love with each other. This, too, is yuri

Also in case you're wondering if Diana's going to eat Calliope at some point too, I still don't know but for now, taking into account how willing Calliope is to be eaten and how willing Diana is to eat the people she loves, the answer is a "probably." At the very least Calliope is willing to sacrifice a couple fingers to sate her girlfriend's needs (she's willing to sacrifice a lot more but Diana might feel bad about that so she's cool with settling for some fingers. At least for a while)

Aaaaannnnnd yeah, that's about all I can think of, I am pouring my heart out to you and I hope you will take it in gentle hands like a wounded animal, because that's how I feel after typing Calliope and Diana's story for the fourth time in my life. A wounded animal.

Also no I've never watched Hannibal

[sharkneto]

Honestly you could write about your OCs buying groceries or something and id eat that up, your writing is great keep it up

Ah thank you! Around being busy with life, I've been in a little bit of a writing slump, so this is really quite kind of you to share with me <3 I'm so glad you enjoy them so much. I do spend a lot of time thinking of them just doing normal things, so maybe I should write more of that down :)

As a token of my thanks, I give you a snip of Normal Things from the Rob and Sarah Holiday Fic I both wrote too much and not enough of in December. <3

Quick context notes: Rob is the youngest of three - his older siblings are David (10 years older) and Julie (7 years older). Sara (note the spelling difference) is David's oldest daughter who just had a baby of her own.

Sarah luxuriates in her shower. Really enjoys the hot water massaging her back. The soft aroma of her soap. How the steam billows and fills the bathroom.

And most importantly how she’s the only one in the room. Alone. No Walters anywhere, not even her Walters.

When she thinks she’s pushed it as long as she can get away with, she reluctantly leaves the warmth to dry off and rejoin the chaos. Blowdrying her hair takes up a nice amount of time. She considers doing something fancier with it and her makeup to waste some more time, but she really has been in here for too long to be conscionable when there’s fifteen people in a two-bathroom house.

Time to return. She only has to make it through another couple days and then they’ll have the house to themselves again.

“You love them because you love Rob,” she reminds herself in the mirror. She does. There’s just so many of them. They’re everywhere.

In the hall, the door to the guest room is closed – Sara and/or Andrew must be catching up on missed sleep. Hopefully the baby is in there with them. Sarah doesn’t need Carol [Rob's mom] to try and hand it off to her again in a forceful push for those latent motherly feelings she’s apparently supposed to have.

She continues down the hall. It’s unexpectedly quiet, a softer rumble of voices than normal and Christmas music beating in the background, broken as Sarah makes it to the living room and Julie exclaims, “What is that?”

David, Julie, and Rob sit around the coffee table, leaning over a pad of paper. All three of them have their heads tilted over whatever is drawn on it.

David points at some part of it. “It’s a UFO.”

Rob squints. “I got that. How did you get to that from—?”

“No,” his brother interrupts. “No, I did the best drawing of what you wrote. Accurate to every degree.”

Julie snorts and flips the page back one.

Sarah walks over after another sweep of the room – the three siblings do seem to be the only ones here right now. She relaxes. “Are you guys playing Telestrations? Where is everyone?”

Rob brightens at her appearance. “Yes. And you want to play, I know you do. And go right after me.”

“A big group went with Mom and Dad for a walk around the neighborhood. Mom was weird about wanting to see the decorations in the daytime, but I wasn’t going to push it. It got her out of the kitchen and messing with Rob’s system in there. Half of mine went with Michael back to our hotel because someone forgot her phone and you know how you can’t survive family time without that,” Julie reports. “Sara and Andy are back with the baby. Hopefully sleeping.” Her gaze flicks to David, a look passing between them. “And I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than play a dumb game like Telestrations.”

“She definitely doesn’t,” Rob rushes to say. He pats the cushion next to him. “I don’t know why we’re trying to play this with three people, anyway. It works better with more.”

Sarah laughs. “How bad is he doing?” She leans over the back of the couch, hand resting on her husband’s shoulder. 

“Terribly,” Julie says cheerfully. She spins the notepad for Sarah to see better.

“It’s not that bad!” Rob defends. “They’re exaggerating like they always do.”

“You write like a drunk monkey,” Sarah says fondly, patting his shoulder twice in appeasement as he huffs. She looks at the scribbled line on the page, written words only by technicality. “’Cow jumped over the moon’?” she asks the group.

David pulls the pad back to himself as Rob holds a hand up in victory. “How.”

“You know,” Julie says, “one of these years I’ll finally remember to bring one of those primers my students struggling with handwriting get. I think it would really help you out. Just a little practice.”

“I’m not that bad! David always draws whatever he wants. It’s part of our game within the actual game.”

“Oh, Bobby,” Julie says with mock sincerity. “The game within the game is David always going after you so he can destroy how you can’t write words.”

“I’m a doctor!”

“Who can’t write. It’s a really heartwarming accomplishment, we’re very proud,” David says. He leans towards Sarah. “Where in this does it say ‘jumped’. I figured out how this says ‘cow’ and the loops I get how those are the o’s in ‘moon’. Where is the j.”

Sarah points to it. “It’s about finding up and down strokes. And you can’t count humps to figure out u’s and r’s versus m’s and n’s, he doesn’t count so you can’t either. Take in the whole shape. Sometimes he dots the i’s and j’s kind of near the letter they belong to, that helps a lot.”

Rob huffs again.

[simplych4i]

So I've been playing bugsnax and my general impressions have been with the Grumpuses I've met. Again, this is all so far, I have not completed the game. I am very aware that things and characters will change and grow as the story goes on

Filbo: Buddy :]] a friend :]] he is getting literally all of the hugs. I love him a lot and I love spending time with him. In the first 'welcome back party' I kept wobbling my character around because I wanted to 'dance' with him.

Wambus: He's. Really tall compared to the journalist. Like I'm Filbo height roughly. And I just. Look upwards at this guy. Also he's really sweet?? Like he's all tough n mean until he accidentally hurts Filbo with a Bunger and then his entire resolve just crumbles

Beffica: Literally my first instinct was the bomb her repeatedly with ketchup. I'm just.. Kinda.. Now starting to warm up to her. But I don't like doing her dirty work. Half the shit she says imma just smack her. It's like spraying a cat with water when they do something bad

Gramble: I'm going to get you literally all of the bugsnax. Entirely genuine btw, I'm literally donating every single bugsnak to him. Every night even if I'm in the middle of something else, when I see him walking around I have to wake him up so he can go back to his barn and not get hurt. Never feeding this boy a bugsnak ever I don't care about any completion thing I'm not breaking his heart like that

Wiggle: She's sweet, yeah. A little over the top? But yknow, some people just are. Only thing that bothers me is her spooky Queen Bugsnak story and her constant attempts at devouring all of Gramble's snax. I'm genuinely debating if she actually likes him or if she jsut wants the snax. I'm not sure

Trifanny: Mom. Please info dump to me I wanna hear all about your special interest please please please

Cromdo: Fuck you I'm going to rattle you around like a maraca. But also?? He has a #1 Dad tie in his house?? And a hanging in there poster?? Hun.. I want him to persue a career in music bc I genuinely enjoy his singing I want him to be happy

Chandlo: YEEEEAAAHHH best friend best friend. I am doing all I can to be a good friend to him I value him so much he's genuinely such a sweet guy. Snorpy seriously couldn't have picked a better man and I'm so haefor the both of them they make me so happy

Snorpy: How in one of our first meetings he gave me a hug?? Yes it was a ruse to give me a walkie talkie thing but still seriously that made me do hand flappies. I genuinely like talking to him and helping him out and such

Floofty: I... Why are you eating your leg? Please? It grew back but that's literally just strawberries seriously. But also please stop baby talking me. Just because you use one word I don't understand doesn't mean I suddenly have the competency of a toddler. Like, Id love to listen to your research and volunteer and such like honestly, but you're just kinda mean so far :[ I wanna be your friend

Shelda: I am going to stuff your head into that purification box of yours. I don't know why but I feel very big bad like. Weewoo Weewoo sirens from you. You're being kinda mean to chandlo, you're not practicing what you're preaching, I just. I'm gonna shake you around. Violently.

Eggabell: Where did your eye go ma'am. Ma'am it was there on the tapes. Ma'am. Ma'am please. I'unno but like. Carry-able? Pretty carry-able. Just met her, so I can't say much. Kinda bc I immediately abandoned her for more side quests. I gotta give my boy Gramble his banoopy!!

Also I'm pretty sure I've encountered that weird..snack grumpus thing? I was just going to get a sprinklepede and found... That, staring at me. And right as I processed what I was seeing it fell apart. So like. Huh.

Overall I'm very much loving this game and mildly obsessed I'm gonna milk this game out of every ounce of serotonin it offers me.

[vampryn]

week 1 is down and i miss weed like id miss my index finger. how is it legal for weed to be illegal in the current social climate..? how yall coping with being alive GOD DAMN. and no, im not about to try to find black market weed because knowing me ill get caught and sent to a German prison where ill get my butthole probed. file that under "things im severely disinterested in experiencing"...

so far, aside from missing my connecting flight (because of the airline), things have been decently smooth! i definitely have gotten lost more times than ive found my way.. i also had a big-time issue at the airport where my credit card wouldn't work, and then the bank reset my pin # only for me to find out i can't actually fix it until i get back to Canada... infuriating, fortunately ive been surviving on the money i got out of the ATM at the airport. this whole credit card situation started because it was the only way to pay for my luggage, and they don't accept the tap feature, nor do they accept debit.. what year is it, Pearson airport??? if you really ARE an airport??

THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IS ABOUT FOOD AND MY ISSUES SURROUNDING IT, SO TRIGGER WARNING!!!!

my other main issue with germany has been the food. i have really intense psychological issues when it comes to eating, and being so far out of my comfort zone is intimidating as hell.. i took a chance and tried this potato-meal thing and my stomach was REKT afterward. im still not entirely sure what was in it, but i think ill sadly have to throw it away because im scared of feeling like shit again.. ive been surviving on bread, fruit, and candy otherwise. i really miss stouffers macaroni and cheese :'( i very well could eat more take-out, but i have a very limited amount of money, and a full week here still! im trying my best, and even tried some of the food my bnb host made! i enjoyed the flavours, but still had a difficult time eating it. it was quiche, and eggs can also cause me digestive problems for some unknown reason. the texture is also a bit much for me.. slimey eggs give me the heeby-jeebies.

my bnb host has been incredible! she's so friendly and helpful, i feel kind of bad for how reclusive i am because she seems to enjoy people a lot, but my social energy is pretty low after spending 4 days with other humans..

today was the first day i started to feel a bit homesick, i miss a lot of things about Toronto, but im pushing through and making the most of this next week :) im quite anxious about the flight home, as i most certainly had 2 panic attacks on the way over here.. im hopeful though. im just thanking my lucky stars that i don't have to go to the Hanover train station again, because that place SUXXXX. ill write a little blerb about the things ive been up to later on. IM ALIVE AND THRIVING IN HAMBURG~

[n0ct0urn1quet]

icestar or darkstar or both

heheheheheheheheheh >:) >:) >): >:) this will b VEREY long since im gonna answer for both but thank u i owe u my life and im giving u a little kisy on the hed *mwah* :] also some stuff about icestar MIGHT be censored with [redacted] bc theres still some stuff about her that i dont want u to know yet so. hehe :]

🌸 - how did your character grow up? were they loved by their family? did they have a good or bad childhood?

darkstar : u know how it is, darkstar grew up with cedarstar in shadowclan before snowstar went batshit at the gathering and snatched darkstar, darkpaw at the time, from shadowclan, then raised him in thunderclan before the whole thing with snowstar killing cedarstar happened n whatnot. then sometime after that she exiled darkfrost and he joined shadowclan again and proceeded to kill snowstar and u know the rest <3

icestar : icestar and flamewing both grew up with loving parents, brackenwing n oakfrost. brackenwing was kind and always spoiled the two of them while oakfrost would always take time out of his day to spend time with the two of them. after brackenwing died all 3 of them were just. devastated. particularly flamepaw who really struggled getting back to normal after that. i dont really feel like things were the same after that

🦋 - what makes your character beautiful?

darkstar : literally nothing darkstar is a murderer nothing about him is beautiful lmao...............this bitch ugly af on the inside and outside

icestar : same as darkstar but not in a murdery evil way. not pretty inside or outside. sory i dont really know how to answer this im not good at questions like these KJSDLKG

🎭 - what are your character’s positive and negative traits?

darkstar : im pretty sure its obvious what his negative traits are but as for positive id say he's. hmm. charming? but ig not really in a good way, moreso charming in a way that he's good at being manipulative and is good at manipulating people into doing what he wants them to do. i dont really think he HAS any positive traits

icestar : when it comes to negative traits she's strict, has a short temper, and is very very snarky/sarcastic. but despite all that she is very. Caring. she cares for her daugher softpelt although she's strict on her and despite the things she's said to her she still loves and supports her. she's very independent and smart, a well respected leader n all that.

🥩 - what’s your character’s diet like? what are their favorite and least favorite foods?

darkstar : i like to think he prefers eating bigger kinds of prey like eagles n rabbits n hares n whatnot. idk i dont rly think about things like that tbh KJSDJKLG though i like 2 think darkstar does not and will not ever eat frogs or toads despite those being, like, the most popular kind of prey for shadowclan cats

icestar : similar to darkstar i think, bigger kinds of prey but Will Not eat birds or fish bc fish are "slimy" in her words and birds are just "gross" KJFJKKJG

🏉 - is your character athletic? do they train in their spare time or go for long walks?

darkstar : i wouldnt say he's athletic but i will say that he's very. Slim! not very muscular, never has been. which should be a disadvantage but slimmer = quicker and hes got long long claws so i like to think he's faster and more agile than others. he ofc trains in his spare time

icestar : she goes for very very long walks but not as like an exercise thing. usually if she gets too angry or upset she'll go and take a long walk around the territory or to the spot where brackenwing and flamewing were buried

🔥 - what gets your character angry? how quickly do they reach their breaking point?

darkstar : he gets angry quickly but not exactly an explosive loud kind of angry. more of just a strong passive aggresive anger. the only time he got so angry and truly reached his breaking point was when he. ykow. murdered shadeheart. but other than that when darkstar gets angry its not a loud or violent angry. its rather just a cold snarky kind of angry

icestar : icestar is the exact opposite of darkstar. she also gets angry quickly and gets angry over small things, such as when softpelt told her she was expecting kits with juniperleaf, a sageclan cat, she jus Lost It and screamed at her. she tries to control her temper but after all that shes been through its. hard sometimes!

🩸- is it easy for your character to draw blood or do they fear hurting others?

darkstar : darkstar has killed several warriors including his own fucken mate, i feel like thats enough of an answer for u JKSDKLKLG

icestar : icestar doesn't like fighting. she isn't bloodthirsty and despite occasionally saying things like "i dont want to hear anything about those scummy sageclan cats unless they've all died of starvation or left the forest" the last thing she wants is to actually hurt anyone. she will put up a fight when it comes to protecting her family but she would never purposefully put anyone in danger or kill anyone for her own gain.

🔮 - is your character clairvoyant? do they experience prophetic dreams or receive omens?

darkstar : darkstar no longer has a connection to starclan after misunderstanding a prophecy they sent to him to try to get him to turn his life around which he misunderstood so poorly that it resulted in snowstar's death

icestar : icestar's first prophecy was "those who are blinded by love will follow a path that is unholy. find your belonging, don’t let the fire draw you closer." and she recieved it when she was an apprentice. she would also recieve another prophecy that said "[redacted]" after becoming a warrior and sometime after brackenwing's death. she isnt a die-hard starclan enjoyer but when they speak to her, she listens.

🧸 - does your character have a specific object that soothes them?

darkstar : no <3333

icestar : she keeps a bracken leaf behind her ear as a reminder of brackenwing <3

🌈 - what is your character’s gender and sexuality? what’re their pronouns?

darkstar : cishet, he/him, and despite how much of a cunt he is he ISNT homophobic. i prommy

icestar : hmm. cis + bisexual/aromantic? also she/her

🌹 - is your character quick to fall in love or slow? do they deny their feelings or are they open and honest?

darkstar : darkstar was never the romantic type. he was mates with shadeheart because she was Nice To Him and once they got close he realized he wanted kits but shadeheart didnt But They Had Kits Anyways. after the kits was born he realized he could kind of manipulate shadeheart if the kits were involved. (ex : "darkstar im leaving u ur a weirdo" "but what about our kiiiiiits u cant do that. u cant just leave me like that. whore") same with dovetail, she already had two young kits and raised darkwing when he was a kit and when meadowheart was born darkstar really pushed her to stay with him but after darkwing left shadowclan dovetail jus fucken RAN away to windclan to raise meadowkit there and yeah. id say darkstar is slow to fall in love and doesnt really like being In Love and just. ykonw. uses she-cats to his own advantage

icestar : icestar has always wanted kits but was never really much interested in a relationship? that is until she met [redacted] and had a short relationship with them which resulted in them having a kit, softkit. after breaking it off with [redacted], she realized she simplyl wasn't interested in really having a mate or anything, but still thought of [redacted] as a close friend after breaking it off

🥀 - has your character lost someone important to them? if so, how do they deal with it? have they moved on?

darkstar : after the death of his father cedarstar darkstar's entire life practically went downhill and it affected him Greatly, especially since he witnessed snowstar, his mother, kill him. and after darkstar killed snowstar things got even worse and so on and so forth

icestar : icestar lost her mother brackenwing and sister flamewing, who she considered very very important to her and she considered herself very close to them so. when brackenwing died and flamepaw regressed into a worse mental state, icepaw didnt take it very well. when flamewing left for sageclan her and icebeam's relationship wasn't very. uh. Good! very bittersweet. flamewing was never really able to fully get over losing brackenwing and neither was icebeam so. like. when flamewing died icebeam was just starting to get over brackenwing's death and flamewing just. broke her. and she relapsed into yet another cold, emotionless state. and because she had a kit at the time things were so much worse. but currently despite all of that id say icestar has. gotten over a lot of that and is now in the Anger Phase and is just. Angery

🐱 - how does your character feel about kits? do they want any? do they have any? are they a good parent?

darkstar : darkstar wanted kits only because he knew he could make a she-cat have his kits in order to manipulate them to do what he wanted. he was never a good parent to misty dark amber OR meadow, and never cared for them after the mothers of these kits were either no longer alive in shadeheart's case or no longer involved with him in dovetail's case

icestar : icestar has always wanted kits, she always fantasized about being a parent and raising a family though she wasnt much concerned about the whole romance or mate part of havnig kits. sometimes she would think about how she might've wanted to foster or adopt kits instead of birthing them, but... eventually she did in fact have a mate and have a kit with said mate. they eventually broke it off but having softkit was. maybe the best thing that happened to her? and sure there were rough patches, softkit was born after flamewing's death so she was still grieving but. she tried her best to be a good mother to softkit and tried to support her thru icestar's own grief.

♈️ - what zodiac sign would your character be? (and, if you wanna get crazy, what would their birth chart be like?)

genuunely idk i dont know shite about zodiac signs lol

👔 - what would your character look like as a human? what sense of style would they have?

darkstar : okay i think about this a lot and i like to think that darkstar would probably have. black hair. kinda shaggy and unkempt maybe. shoulder-length? and he'd be tall and skinny, boney, etc etc. i dont know what his style of clothing would be but i feel like he would wear mostly black and would wear mostly clothes that would cover his entire body. maybe gloves or something too (which, if he was a human, wearing gloves would be useful as it would mask any of his dna on his victims, which matches up to how he is in canon where he was never suspected of being the murderer of any of his victims)

icestar : i like 2 think she'd be. probably short and maybe skinny, have short hair, things like that. dont rly kno what she'd wear tho SDJKDSJK

🦾 - does your character have any disabilities? if so, what are they?

neither darkstar nor icestar have any disabilities,,

🌪 - what was your character’s most traumatic experience?

darkstar : watching snowstar just fucken throw cedarstar off the highledge n watching him just. die

icestar : brackenwing's death and witnessing flamewing die,

❄️ - what is your character’s favorite season? what about their least favorite season?

darkstar : darkstar doesn't have a favorite but despises winter/leafbare <3

icestar : she dislikes newleaf/spring bc newleaf is when flowers begin to bloom right, and i like to think that like. so when a cat dies in warrior cats their body and their Smell Of Death is covered with stronger smelling herbs like lavender and rosemary. so in the spring when lavender flowers are blooming she smell of them makes icestar be reminded of brackenwing bc. ykno. Smely. same with flamewing.

🔍 - is your character a good investigator or are they generally clueless?

id say both darkstar and icestar are Good Investigators and are like. yknow. smart. they aint dummy stupid i prommy

🏅- what is your character’s reputation within their clan? what about the other clans? is your character popular?

darkstar : so before shadeheart was murdered people generally liked and respected darkstar. he was scary somteimes sure but they thought he was an okay leader. but yknow,after people found out he killed a shit ton of cats then. yknow. y eah

icestar : icestar was a good warrior and deputy and leader, she was respected by her clanmates n by sageclan cats but after the whole war and after flamewing died she distanced herself from sageclan thus turning their relationship sour. she's a good leader n all and people respect her but sageclan doesnt like her and stoneclan doesnt like sageclan either so <3

🎨 - does your character have a unique skill that sets them apart from others?

nope <3 ice n dark are both just. average. they aint special

😻 - is your character insecure about their appearance or are they confident?

both icestar n darkstar are . Fairly Confident ppl i think

🙀 - have you been told told your character resembles a cat from the books? how does this make you feel? how would it make your character feel?

no ones ever told me that but i can see resemblances bewteen my ocs and canon characters, icestar specifically reminds me of bluestar from wc and darkstar is almost like. a worse version of tigerstar JKSDKJSDJK i dont think either darkstar or icestar would rly care much if ppl compared them to canon charcacters lol

🎵 - what kind of music would your character listen to? do you have any playlists for them?

genuingely idk i know these answers are getting Boring but i am running out of ideas or how to answer tehse JKSDJKLJKG

📖 - does learning come easily to your character or is it hard for them to pay attention?

darkstar was always a fairly quick learner btu icestar was always. like. very easily distracted. especially after the Incident with brackenwing she couldn't focus on. just. anything. bc yknow. grief moment

🍂 - does your character have a friend group? if so, who’s all in it? how does your character feel about each of them?

darkstar : darkstar has no friends though he considered mothwhisker one of his closest. allies, ig. one of the Goons. but other than that darkstar didnt rly have a lot of Friends so <3

icestar : when icepaw was an apprentice there were 3 other apprentices at the time, two were siblings but the other was an only child : blackpaw, springpaw, and eaglepaw. icepaw never really got along with blackpaw but springpaw and eaglepaw were both somewhat close with icepaw. eaglepaw however was twice as old as icepaw and should've been a warrior already but because of an injury she sustained to her back leg her apprenticeship was delayed and she was still an apprentice. eaglepaw and icepaw became very very close friends and eaglepaw would comfort icepaw after brackenwing's death. after the two became warriors (eagleflight and icebeam) they remained friends, after flamewing left for sageclan eagleflight became almost an older sister to icebeam and was someone she could talk to whenever something was bothering her. n then flamewing died and though icebeam isolated herself eagleflight was still there if she ever needed anything. they r just good friends methinsk <3

🗣 - what does your character sound like? do they have any catchphrases? do you have a voiceclaim for them?

i have no idea!!!!!!!! i dont know what these charcters would sound like LOL

💥 - does your character have any habits that impact them negatively?

darkstar : he doesnt have any habits that impact him negatively unless, like, murder coutns as a habit KSJDBLKJG

icestar : she isolates when things get too overwhelming! which happens a lot and which isnt really ideal for, yknow, a clan leader...... on her bad days she stays in her den and doesnt come out much, her deputy whispershade takes over for her while icestar is just. slepeing in the den. Away From Everyone.

☀️ - what are your character’s goals and what would they do to achieve them?

MAN IDK they dont rly have any. Goals. in life. they're just kinda. Living.

🤍 - what does perfect happiness look like to your character?

i dont think darkstar's been happy like. ever. maybe when he was in shadowclan with cedarstar but after he died things kinda, yknow, went to shit as things do. so idk what perfect happiness for him would look like

as for icestar i think perfect happiness to her would obviously be a world where flamewing and brackenwing never died but. as things are right now, perfect happiness to her would just be her and softpelt living far far away from the clans on their own, honestly. but she can't really do that because softpelt is having babies with a sageclan cat and icestar is tge fuckign leader of stoneclan JKSDLKJKLG

ANWYAYS THANK U FOR SENDING THESES ASKS I KNOW ITS LONG BUT. AWAWA,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, thank u for letting me infodump i kno i kinda had shorter answers as it went on but. yeah. gay little cats!

[thenightslayers-musings]

Return to Amphibia chapter 37 preview

“HOLD ON A HOPPING SECOND,” said an impossibly loud voice from behind Max,

All four turned to the stairs to see a pink frog wearing overalls, standing there, she was holding a plate of pancakes. Behind her was a large metal figure, she thudded down the stairs, and turned to the three younger Amphibians.

“You guys have had your chance, It’s my turn.”

The three amphibians gulped, each had been babysat by Polly, many of them remembered her rough ways, How her bedtime stories had been full of horror, how any infraction was met with a deathly glare.

A part of them wanted to stay and protect Max, however their fear gave out.

They three rushed upstairs.

“Welp they're gone,” said Polly, “So what’s bugging you then?”

“I almost died,” Max said flatly.

“Pfft, Wimp.”

Max kept looking at Polly as she sat down next to him on the bed, she placed the plate of food on the bed.

“Hop-Pop insisted you eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” murmured Max.

“Good,” said Polly, “More for me.”

She took the spoon and dug into the pancake, “Yeah this is pretty good.”

“Are you here to make me feel better?” said Max, confused.

“Nope, I’m just here to ask what’s with turning your friends down, seems kind of really dumb.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” replied Max.

Polly sat there for a second and dropped the spoon, “You’re upset because you thought running away would be a good idea, and now that you got your ass handed to you like a brat, and you carried back here crying.”

Max looked at her like she had read his mind, he was somewhat right, but in other ways wrong.

“Does Hop-Pop and Sprig know you're down here?”

“Yeah, they know,"said Polly smiling, “they said maybe I shouldn’t but they’re not the boss of me.”

Max just sat there and looked at her, “So why are you here?”

“To tell you to go with your friends.”

“They’re not my friends,” said Max turning away, “I was a jerk to them yesterday-”

“Yes, the biggest jerk, standing up to that creep Montgomery, trying to protect them, Totally irredeemable.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” replied Max.

“Max… I’m Sprigs sister,” replied Polly, “I know what it’s like having someone stupid enough to love you.”

“They’re not stupid,” said Max,”

“No, but they’re persistent. A few days ago I called Sprig a jerk, for not doing a stupid speech, you know what the big jerk did next?”

“Nope.”

“He showed me a video of us and Anne playing, just to make me happy,” said Polly wistfully for a second before an annoyed look appeared in her face, “The massive idiot.”

“How is he an id-”

“I mean there I was,” said Polly, flinging her arms to the sky, “all ready to be angry at him and then he has the nerve to be a good brother.”

Polly looked scornfully at the floor, “Fricken jerk.”

Max looked at her confused, “That doesn’t sound like a jerk to me.”

“Trust me he is,” said Polly pouting, a smile appearing on her face, “the best jerk on the planet.”

Max looked at her confused, “Polly, why are you really here?”

“Because I know how you think, I know right now you want to go with your friends, and that you feel bad about what happened yesterday to them and that you're willing to stay in the basement, I just came here to tell you to go outside and hang with your friends.”

“That’s it?”

Polly nodded, “Yep, trust me Max it’s hard to admit but it’s better to be with people who love you then wallow alone in sadness.”

Max looked at her, she wasn’t wrong, a part of him did want to spend a some time with his friends.

But then he remembered all that was dangerous out there, and froze, he closed his eyes.

“No.”

“Okay.” said Polly chirpily as she jumped off the bed, “Frobo, Do it.”

[cleverblogurlhere]

he thinks hes so emotionally mature and that he knows best for you and hes constantly having to save face or keep the peace or whatever all of which being things nobody asked if him and are actively detrimental to the situation

like you arent being more mature or whatever youre appeasing youre fawning youre allowing her to feel justified in her psycho behavior and youre feeding back into this insane loop and its clearly killing your partner

and i know i have a tendency to want to be a caretaker and a problem solver and whatever. like i fully get it. but im not going to do that here because its bad for me and because nobody in the situation even wants me to caretake. and i have the ability to recognize when my internal incessant need to fix everything and make it all okay is detrimental to the overall health and well-being of those around me and im not going to do unsolicited peacekeeping and then proceed to get upset when the people around me are not trying to do the same thing. im not going to fawn over a situation and then be hurt when the person who is in the middle of it, who is actively dealing with it, doesnt want to fucking do that. because it isnt fucking about me or how i feel. i wont keep forcibly putting my partner back into a position where he will continue to be abused by his psychotic mother who has literally threatened his life before. if he wants to "fight back" (hardly - none of his reactions have been anything remotely as vitriolic as what she has been spitting this entire time, and hes the CHILD. she is the MOTHER. even if he was telling her to kill herself, he wouldnt be in the wrong to do so.), thats his decision to make and im here to help him move forwards from whatever he ends up choosing. if it were up to me id want him to tell her wed love to see her skull bounce against the concrete, blood pooling under her as we kick her fucking ribs in. but im not telling him to do that. im not telling him what to do or how to react and im CERTAINLY not telling him he needs to cool it or tone it down or anything like that. hes dealt with twenty three fucking years of it. he has every right in the world to tell her i wish youd eat this curb while i stomp your head in. like i cannot fucking imagine listening to my partner describe what it was like as a kid with her and watching him be treated like this in real time and then somehow coming to the conclusion that hes in the wrong and that he needs to stop reacting or responding in very mildly confrontational ways.

it sometimes seems like he doesnt ... value or trust the feelings he has about anything. he can react whatever fucking way he wants or needs to in this situation and it isnt yours to try to control or change, and it certainly isnt about how you feel. or like he will directly explicitly say i dont want to talk about this with other people and he just . doesnt seem to care at all. oh you expressly said i dont want to talk about the situation with my mom when we go out tonight? what if i bring it up repeatedly!

and im the only one who can see any of this. because he cant. he is too deeply entwined with him and he cant imagine a life without him or a way to get to that if either of them needed it so he has to be okay with it and he has to deal with it and nobody else is involved in all of this enough to know.

last night when you were talking about how you have to stop whatever youre doing or texting whoever youre messaging so you can pretend to pay attention to whatevers happening in his game. i know theres more to a relationship than these things and its not the end all be all if your interests dont perfectly overlap at every turn but you seem so despondent and like ... sometimes it seems like you really dont even like spending time with him

like it just seems like in so many ways you two are just completely different people with completely different ideals and wants in life and the only things you really share are eight years of history and a crippling fear of being alone.

[dragonnyy]

ehmm. i know i dont do this a lot but. i just feel like talking about it

tw: vent about my problems with my dad and whatnot (racism, homophobia/transphobia, borderline child neglect, abuse, etc) also super long but i could literally write so much about this stuff

talked about this in one of my previous posts but i did get.. basically neglected by my dad. im not completely sure how long this has been going on but probably at least a few months. honestly its all just sinking in for me and im not sure how to feel about it.

so, where do i really start.. well sometimes he makes me feel like an idiot for wanting to do a specific thing or saying something. he'll mock whatever i say and its honestly so annoying. maybe thats a parent thing but oh well. hes said the n word multiple times (hes white) and even right in front of me on call with someone or whatever. made many racist and homophobic jokes and even said transphobic things right to me. not completely outed yet would never really do that but i think he gets the hint.

hes made many stupid jokes which just made me hate him more but some were, well, this year we went to florida for march break (busch gardens) and he told me that while we were at the zoo in the gorilla exhibit there were some black people. he told me he wanted to go up to them and say "look, your home!" i told him that was so racist and he hit me with the "oh come on, its just a joke." honestly he makes me want to throw up sometimes

another time he made fun of me for wanting to go to a rock camp for march break instead of a cruise. he mocked me about wanting to go there because apparently there were lgbtq people there. didnt end up going because of him ruining my mood and pressuring me to go with him instead, basically manipulating me into going with him because apparently if i didnt go on his trip i didnt love my dad. so i felt pressured to because he would just get mad at me if i didnt or id make him feel bad. makes me question why i cared

so many dumb things he said but anyway.. thursday night, my mom dropped me off at my dads place because the next day, friday at 4:30pm she would pick me up and drive me to a cottage for the weekend. i walked in to my dads house and immediately a rancid smell hit my nose, i could hear my mom ask my dad if it was smoke. when i saw my dad i could literally tell he was drunk from the way he was acting, and that there was music being blasted on the tv. he usually does that when hes drunk.

ok now heres the thing about this household, 1. its never clean ever. he doesnt do the dishes at all and theres stuff all over the floor in the house 2. hes always sitting on his couch watching tv and sometimes wakes up at fucking 6pm 3. my computer is right in the living room sitting right next to him but i spend all my time on the computer so i have no privacy and he refuses to move it to my room for some reason

so yea i know hes drunk because hes asking me weird questions and acting really weird. "wow you type really fast" i got really uncomfortable when he said that because he was staring right at me when i was talking to my friends i just want privacy. dont remember much else of what he said that night but i was super uncomfortable being there and i was only there for the computer. i never feel comfortable there ever its so dirty and i refuse to even shower til i get to my moms house again from how dirty it is everywhere even how unclean it feels in the shower.

so at around 8pm or something like that he tells me hes going to the store and asks me if i want mcdonalds or something. literally asked me that 3 times and i said no every time. "you sure?" he also asked me that an unnecessary amount of times too before he left. i didnt wanna eat because he always feeds me junk food like that and i felt really unhealthy by eating like that that much. so he left and i literally didnt see him for the next 2 hours.

i was on call with my friends playing a game while he was gone but he came back with his cousin/friend and then left again a few minutes later. literally didnt fucking come back til 9am. i went to bed at 1am with no blanket and my dad wasnt home so i couldnt find anything and i slept with a really small and uncomfortable blanket. i woke up the next morning at 8am and my dad wasnt home. (tell me why i wasnt surprised?) for the next hour i went on the computer again until my dad came back home at 9am. he seemed kind of sad and tried to hug me and said "im sorry" (im really uncomfy with hugging him specifically) i dont know why i should forgive him after hes done way more i could go on about.

he fell asleep around 30 minutes later. the whole night he was texting me and asking me if im ok and called me about 3 times last night when i was sleeping. talked to my mom about this later and she said he called her 7 times. but the whole morning i literally had nothing to eat due to the lack of clean dishes. my kitchen sink is full with dirty dishes that have literally been sitting there since christmas. every time i wake up there are usually maybe 3 clean spoons or less. this time there were none so i just starved the whole morning. i really didnt want to eat junk food but was basically forced to because i got so hungry and i ate chips that morning.

been like this for the past few weeks maybe. sometimes ill wake up and he'll be asleep, i dont want to wake him (no point in doing so bcs he'll just fall asleep again) so i just go hungry. never learned to do dishes properly but i do know how to do them, but literally im not touching the dishes in my sink. they are so dirty and sometimes i walk into the kitchen and it smells so bad, i dont want to touch the dishes at all. i just go hungry for the morning most of the time til my dad can wake up and make food. most of the time he feeds me microwave food, i try to avoid eating it anymore because it is just unhealthy but i dont have much else to eat.

talked to my mom and she wont let me go over there anymore thankfully, but i dont know how to get my dad out of my life. been trying not to talk to him but hes still kind of in my life.. he was the one who gave me lots of things and basically spoiled me which is why i stayed at his house. basically manipulated me because he was lonely and made me stay with him so i could have access to the computer, but im so uncomfortable being around him or in his house. he doesnt live too far so he could come see me anytime. im afraid of seeing him because he'll either yell at me or guilt trip me or something. whatever happens i know it wont go well but i just dont want to see him again. as a teenager it is pretty hard though.

maybe ill vent again if im not feeling well but thanks for at least reading this all nonetheless

[cybernightwanderer]

Give and take.

First of all, she changed the trash baggs into reciclable baggs, so thats pretty obvious my brother isnt gonna take out the trash anymore, because it means hell have to wash the baggs, and i know my brother, hes gonna refuse with all his soul.. and knowing her, shes gonna let him and turn it to me... So not only i wash everybodies dishes, i take all the trash, clean and now aparently im gonna have to cook for all, because she has been becoming really passive agressive because i dont cook for them...

So this week i got covid, and the first 4 days i was in bed with a really bad fever. My mom called the doctor for me the first 2 days and went out to buy the medicine for me, and even washed the dishes on the first 3 days. Ofc now i have to pay for those actions, because nothing comes from her as actual mom duty. But more like she gave me something now i have to pay, and this is how. So im back to washing the dishes wich is fine, i still have a bad cought and headachas but thats all. So yesterday i woke up, she turns to me and says " oh can you go and buy me a chicken for lunch, i dont feel so good ", so i proceed to ask her what shes feeling, she goes on rambling but says pretty much nothing concrete, just " doesnt feel well ". I put on my mask and i go out to buy the chicken, now this is the first time i left the house since i caught covid, and even tho im almost healed, i am still defnatly not healed. My head started hurting rlly bad outside, and having a mask, with strong caught and a very dry nose i ocassionaly started suffocating in the midle of the street, and had a really bad cough attack inside the butcher shot... not very pleasent.. but all is good, mission acomplish, i got the chicken and went back home. After this the cought was worse the rest of the day, non stop, and very agressive cought. She spends the day laying down in the couch, " oh can you cook me this ", " can you take out the trash ", " can you grab me that ".... And i do those things, just so she doesnt go on her rage mode. I tell her to take a stomach medicine or a paracetamol since she isnt feeling well, and again , she doesnt take anything or call the doctors... as if she wants to get sick on purpose or something.. She says she feels sick in her stomach, she eats a stake and immediatly lays down, i tell her if shes sick in the stomach and lays down right after eating it will get worse, she doesnt listen and still does it, and this goes on and on. At night again, does the same shit. Today i woke up to them laughing about it, my mother and brothers. My brothers comments : so you are really hopping to get sick. And she replies : i am i am. And they both laugh. I only caught this part of the conversation i mean, they were right in front of my door speaking, it was 9 am and i had just woken up with all the noise they were making. I get up and go to the living room, now shes sitting on the couch " not feeling well ", and again " go take out the trash " , " put away the dishes " , " go here and buy this this and this , then you go here and you buy this, and i also need this, and that from there and so on "... Usualy when id get sick, i would always take care of my own shit , or even hide being sick because she would get really weird about it, or doubt that im actualy sick, like the other day she admitted that she didnt believe i had a fever. I found that she was coming into my room at 3-5 am to check my temperature because she thought i was faking the fever... LIKE , everytime i mesured my fever id show her... wtf. But anyways, i mean with this fever it was impossible to get anything done, i got so cold , that the cold would feel like pain spikes at some point, it was really weird... Even when i get covid shes the exact same old shit of a person... I just wanna get out of here.

[friskyqwi]

Always feeling like in a double bind.

Growing up, it was hard for me to know how I felt because I was starting to learn how life works. Never quite expressed what I truelly felt, I just felt it was a nuisance and a disturbance for so long that it started to eat me inside. I had a hard time understanding people also, so it was a pain to see my first best friend go. Because she was bullied, her name was Beatrice, but this is how far my small brain could remember back then, I think I got her number but being 7 years old who wasn't aware of how things still worked. Years passed and I got to look at my old nicknacks only to find out that the number wasn't available. I didn't had a phone till I was 17. My sister, the first born, had the privilege when she entered 7th grade where she got to keep contacts. Me? Till I got into University, often felt left out by friends after 7th grade because I didn't had the means of communication in a pretentious highschool in which later it still made some bad rep when talking about where one came from in University.

It often felt like, life treated me good so I should be grateful. Ok, its true but like any priviliged person. I was placed in a position where I lacked social contact and on top of that, a mother narcissistic enought to think I wanted that kind of life after the divorce. My difficulty of making strong relationships came when my mother taught me "amigo peso en el bolsillo" in other words in her mind people thought people saw you as money bags or a convenience and later discard you when you become inconvenient. Guess how that made me feel, not even being able to bring or spend time with a friend because I had to take care of mother's depression. I didn't know what depression was, but it seemed to me like I always had it when little. I was feeling helpless and empty and numbed feeling, no wonder I didn't know what to feel because it was the very default feeling that kept me from feeling other things. It was as if I was taught to not acknowledge my own feelings just to keep in place. Thinking that they always knew me when in truth, I have been choking to begin with I don't know how I survived this far but it has left its damages along the way.

This changed when I met a boy where I thought he would be my husband one day... He crushed my heart in the end of the day. Its been 4 and soon to be 5 and that feeling of having to lose my north, my love, my sense of stability after having nothing stable so far. Having to start work post Huricane Maria it was a very first lucky shot of a job I got. When I was dating my I thought would be husband, I felt very inadequate in the most basic sense of what I felt I was worth. He had already aquired job experience, he had his own car it really didn't bother me broken down, that meant Id me more time with him and we were both studying and wanting a better future for ourselves.

My mother, has not been supportive of my feelings and goals, she always appropriated my achievements as if it was an extension of herself. And like that she felt entitled to my existence and my relationships and made things hard between the person I really cared about. That I very much suffered a lot after I loss till this day after he left and further increased my sense of helplesness because there was one guy I met also that drew a wedge in it and my would be husband became his "best" friend. He didn't know that his "best" friend asked for uncolicited sexual favors and nudes. And me feeling how deep of the worthlessness of my own being didn't care at this point because. Even if I expressed my feelings or not, I would just be a tool, object or thing for someone else's satisfaction it didn't matter my self worth or respect because its a double bind. Me having to sleep with the guy I wanted to marry was like a green light for clueless men to dive in afterwards after I became disposed of. Or didn't want me because of my "lack of better judgemet" I was tired of this both notions that was the implication of having a relationship with a guy I wanted to marry. But he had other plans in which he didn't care to tell.

I was just caught in the middle of everything, compounded with how people valued me and how I tried to preserve my value to myself throught time. The "confidence" is because I was compensating for the lack of acknowledgement in which adult constantly spew on children for their lost time. I was told constantly by my sister that the way that I am... is the reasons I didn't had any friends. But that's only half of it. I did had friends, but to my sister they where normies and "uncool" like hers. So I always grew up that my sense of community was not good enough for my family until I have been working hard to get out of the toxic behavior they wanted to instill on me. When she still had a friend that asked photos of me for reasons that causes me disgust.

The double bind is, children that have been born in these enviroments dont get to see themselves in a better place much more later in life. And every family has a favorite, that was my cousin. Its funny that that cousin told me that my time would come, that I had to work for it.

Sorry, I've been working unsupported, had to constantly bring up my needs only to be shoved aside to do them myself in the end of the day and still couldn't get by if someone with authority or power wasn't there to help. That it took me 23 years to gain half of what he got when he was 18. His mother didn't get in the way of his relationship. So... am I really 100% responsible of the outcome of my own life? That's a good question. I didn't had control on where I was born and raised. Meaning my life really has started and still with a clutch at 23. Not to say, my father has been the only person that helped me gain my independence. If it wasn't for him, I would actually be in more distress and unable to manage the requirements that is EXPECTED for an adult to have in their age.

And have I been truelly free from expectations since little when in the end of the day, you turn out to be this bent tree among other bent trees. What's the expectation of having a child to grow with the lack of support. They are expected to support for themselves in the end of the day.

On top of that, having to see blalantly of having to work under Nepobabies. And my father lost his job because of a mistep despite his years of working in the same company, almost missing my graduation and mostly missing my performances because he had to work to keep himself and us alive. It still hurts how my mother ruined every birthday I had when I wanted him around, him having to leave and her later saying the audacity that he never been there for us.

That hurts and it never mattered in the grand scheme of things. When it should. Its the very same problem I see everyone else had when having narcissistic parents. And this is how one feels being raised by a narcissist. Being in a double bind till your life is screwed and hard to get things right.

Im still working to move out, it's still hard to do it alone per se. Because I found out that landlords needs you to have good connections in order for them to feel safe when you live in their property. Being a good person isn't enough... you also need to surround yourself with good people. And its pretty hard when most of your life has been the people that kept you down, stunted and feeling worthless.

Best of luck anyone out there and thank you for reading.

[b00bstone]

so my dog is really old now and her arthritis is kinda bad the past few days and now everytime i walk away im scared that shes gonna die (which is being a lil dramatic tbh) and that shes gonna think i abandoned her. im not ready to say goodbye, like yeah shes at the upper limits of her breeds lifespan and i knew she was gonna die eventually but i was always kinda hoping she’d live forever.