#idk why the second to last is like tha

[likepersimmons]

@kagehiner hai

[itsohh]

Electra Heart Part 1

A/N: Female reader, I had this idea in my head for soooo long and finally got it down on paper. Idk if I love mk11 or mk1 Johnny more but I do love how they emphasize how smart he is in the new game. I love the idea of being stupidly rich and famous like him and just... him not knowing.

Summary: Being one of Earthrelm's defenders isn't easy. Johnny flirting with you doesn't make it easier but what started as an annoyance becomes something you welcome. Perhaps dating Johnny isn't so bad after all- so long as he doesn't find out that you're an a list popstar.

Word count: 6192

Warnings: None

Part 2 AO3

“There is one more we wait for.” Liu Kang’s voice was calm, patient as he looked at the four men in front of them. Having just being met, they constantly sized each other up. To be Earthrelm’s champions was no small feat. It was only at the hurried sound of feet behind them did the four men turn. Most of them made small glances, interested but not over-exerting themselves but Johnny was the one to truly look. 

Your shoes skidded slightly on the ground as you came to a stop and your eyes dated from the group of men before you. Admittedly it wasn't your most graceful entry. The weight of all eyes on you had you freeze a bit before your eyes settled on Liu Kang's. They were gentle and kind most genuinely. Something you didn't often see. 

“Oh uh-” You cupped your fist and bowed before him. “Apologies for making you wait. It was a mission to get time off from work.”

“I understand that your career is one of the most presidential demands and thank you for accepting my offer.”

“Anything that gets me out of the house.” You nodded to him and he smiled. With the gesture of his hand, he guided you to a spot next to the men. 

“What. A. Total. Babe.” A poorly hushed voice whispered as you walked and the snap of your eyes towards the voice caught the man in the act. Oh, you had seen that man many times before. Johnny Cage himself. 

As his eye made contact with yours he completely stilled. Only the corner of his mouth had opened in a comedic fashion and he leaned towards the men in red. 

The man next to him promptly elbowed him and hissed out. “Would it kill you to show her some respect?” 

“Oh trust me, I have a huge amount of respect.” He grinned and gave you his signature grin. 

“Now we are all here-” Liu Kang took control of the scene and commanded attention. “-allow me to introduce you all.”

-

“You know when the tournament is all done and dusted you should come star in one of my movies with me. I'm always in need of a hot love interest.”

“I'm no actress, Johnny.”

“You say that but I reckon you have what it takes. There's something about you that screams that you belong in front of a camera.” 

“Hm, no. I have to go back to work.”

Johnny rolled his eyes as he bounced a little on his feet. The pair of you continued to circle each other, ready for your spar. 

“I get being committed to your job but I swear that's always your excuse. How ‘bout this then, you let me take you out on a date?”

“You're a sound salesman's Cage, make them an outrageous offer so then your hard-to-sell offer sounds better in comparison when the second offer is the true one you wanted in the first place.”

“Hey, I would be totally down having you in one of my movies! But yeah, you caught me.”

You took a step forward and his focus was instant. Every move from both parties was highly calculated. “Whenever you talk about her, you sound a bit bitter about your ex. Are you sure you’re ready for another relationship?”

“Ho! I said date but would. Not. Say No. To a relationship with you, god damn.” He tilted his head and put his hands up. “And trust me, there's no lasting feeling there.”

“And why would I want to date you?”

“The question is, why wouldn't you? I mean look at all this.” He gestured towards himself. “I got fame, fortune and the good looks to go with it.” 

“That means nothing to me. Fame is a curse rather than a blessing. Privacy is removed for all eternity. Let me guess I become your side piece that you show off then get harassed by all your loyal fangirls that want to screw you. Besides I have enough money to support myself, any more would not bring me happiness. Finally, tell me, is there any intellectual maturity behind those pretty eyes of yours? Any at all?” 

“Wow you really put some thought into this, I'm surprised actually. Considering you always say no and all. But uh- you think my eyes are pretty?” 

“You ignoring everything I said and focusing on a compliment is so you Johnny in a way that answers my question completely.”

“Just one date, I will rock your world!” 

“I don't need my world rocked.”

“How about you tell me what you want from a man and I'll see if I can be that.”

“Johnny, if I ever go out with you it's to be with you, not someone you're pretending to be to please me.”

“I won't change, promise. Just see if what you like aligns with this perfection.” He gestured to himself. 

“Maybe if you impress me in this fight. Consider it a wager.”

“Easily. Deal.”

“But if you don’t- you stop asking me. Forever.” 

His face scrunched up for a moment and he weighed his head. “Fine deal, I won't lose.”

“I said to impress me. Not win.” 

-

The fight had started with your foot against his head. A kick. It finished with a different kick. One to your head. You had been a second too slow and hadn't been quick enough. It sent you directly down onto the mat in an instant. The last of your strength was gone and pain surged in your sinus. 

Your hands flew to your face as you curled up on your side. Johnny called out your name in shock before he quickly ran up to you. His knees slid down on the mats and you could hear his voice next to you.

“Oh shit! I didn't mean to actually- are you okay- oh fuck I'm so sorry.” 

You whimpered when you felt his gentle touch on your cheek and where your hand connected with it. “Hey-” His voice cooed before his head snapped up to one a monk that neared. “Go get a healer or something! Or Liu Kang! I don't know what you guys have just go get help.” He hurried and swallowed when he looked back down at you. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Let me look at it.” He lightly tugged on your hand. 

You were hesitant to move but slowly you rolled from your side to your back, legs still on each other. With a pained breath, you opened your eyes and allowed him to pull away your hands that covered your nose. 

Blood had covered them and ran down from your nose over the rest of your face. It was a constant flow but there was a decent amount of it. “Shit your bleeding.” His big brown eyes looked at you with complete concern as he cupped your face. Johnny was leaning over you, one hand planted on the ground next to your head for balance. He swallowed and quickly got something out of his clothing. A white piece of fabric which he held up to your face to capture the blood. 

“I'm so so sorry I-”

Johnny's voice was cut off when someone interrupted him. Liu Kang and a couple of monks behind him rushed down to your side and Johnny pulled back from you. 

“What happened?” Liu Kang asked. 

“We were sparing and I kicked her too hard. I didn't mean to properly hurt her. She's normally so quick to block I-”

“I understand.” Liu Kang nodded and turned his focus to you. Liu Kang took the cloth away from your face and stared at your nose. “Get me something for her pain.” He turned to the monk next to him for a moment. “This might hurt more but may I touch it?” 

You made a small nod and winced when his fingers made contact. “It doesn't look too bad, I've had worse myself over the years but I need to realign it. This may hurt a bit.” 

He steadied his two hands and you thought he would give you a count down but no- he quickly flexed them and moved your nose back into position. A loud cry came from lips and you snatched your head out of his grasp. 

“I'm sorry, it's better that you don't know when it's coming so you don't tense.” 

Liu Kang moved to your side more. “Here, let us help you up." He nodded to Johnny to slowly pull you up into an upright position.

It wasn't intentional but you leaned into the warmth of Johnny's support as hurried footsteps approached the group of you. 

“Thank you.” Liu Kang spoke and you felt his hand on your knee. “This will help with the pain, may I?” 

You blinked a few times and stabilized yourself before you nodded. His hand gently graced your nose as he applied an ointment. The pain relief it supplied was instantaneous and had you sigh. 

A groan left your lips and your breathing slowed. “Thank you.” You finally spoke and he pushed up on his heels back into a stand. 

He offered a hand to you which you quickly took and he pulled you up to your feet. 

“It looks a lot worse than it is, you will heal quickly.” 

“Whatever that stuff was, it did wonders.”

“Will you be alright?”

“Yeah, I'm good now. Thanks really, don't worry about me.” You waved him off and he nodded with a smile. If anyone knew you were okay, it was him. Liu Kang nodded to Johnny before he handed you the piece of bloodied cloth and left. 

“I am so sorry I really mean it I’m-” Johnny was quick to apologize when your eyes landed on him. 

“It's fine Johnny. Relax, accidents happen.”

“Yeah but- god- I never wanted to hurt you. Ever. I got so caught up and- fuck- I'm so sorry.”

“Johnny, I'm fine really. It was a good hit, I should have been quicker.”

“It is not your fault.” He was fast to defend you, completely obvious from his earlier words. 

“And it's not yours either. That's why they call it an accident. If it makes you feel better, you certainly impressed me.” 

His concern wasn't killed but was covered up by interest in your words. “Oh yeah? Me breaking your nose is how I impress you?”

“No, allowing me to know something I need to work on impressing me. Which means you won our bet.” You looked down at the cloth in your hand and started to wipe away the blood from your face. 

“As much as I would love to know how you like your guys, let's get you cleaned up first.”

Johnny slowly took you back to his room where he got you a fresh cloth and wet it. He slowly started to clean your face and you let him. 

“Mmm.” You hummed as he cleaned you up and then took a step back to admire his work. 

“There! Good as new, save for the bruising.”

“I like someone that can take care of me.” You caught him off guard and his brows shot up. Johnny placed the wet cloth on a side table and pulled a chair opposite you. He sat down in it as you sat on the end of his small bed. 

“Yeah?”

“I also like someone who can make me laugh. Someone who can genuinely love me for every side of me. When I'm quiet when I'm loud. Someone who accepts how important my work is to me and doesn't try and ultimatum that away from me.” He leaned in as you did. 

“I like someone who can be genuine and be there for me just to listen when I'm having a bad day. Someone to hold me close when I cry. I want someone who can love me for me.” Your voice cracked a little and you broke eye contact with him. 

“I can do that.” He whispered and your lips curled. 

“Can you? Or can you just act like you can?” You stood up from his bed and his lips opened. 

“I can, I-”

“I guess we won't ever find out.” You shrugged, your voice a tease as you headed for his bedroom door. 

“Wait! What about our date?” He asked as you started to go through the doorway. 

“Date? The bet was to tell you what I want in a partner. Be them a dude or not. I never said I would date you. Thanks for cleaning me up but now I have to go change clothes.”

-

As Liu Kang explained how you all would fight to become his champion, Johnny leaned over to your ear. “We have to fight each other huh? If I win you go out on a date with me. Anywhere you want, best night of your life guaranteed.”

“What do I get if I win?”

“Same as last time, I'll never bring it up again.”

“You know most men are normally content with a woman telling them no and listening.” Kenshi huffed and Johnny put his hands up. 

“Hey! She's never told me directly no. Only used it as a bet wager. Probably because she likes it and just doesn't want to admit it.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Johnny. You are first.” Liu Kang’s words had Johnny's ears perk up. 

“Doing the best first huh?”

Liu Kang called out your voice and you could see the way that Johnny's entire body seemed to vibrate with excitement. 

“We got a deal?” He asked as he found his position across from you. A deep breath calmed your body and allowed you to focus. 

“You really want to place a bet on arguably one of the most important kombat fights of our life.”

“...Yes.”

“Fine. 

A grin formed on his face as he summoned you with his hand. 

-

As you looked at your phone you felt a presence appear. 

“You let Johnny win against you.” Without looking up you recognised Liu Kang’s voice. 

“And how did you figure that?”

“I've seen you work, seen you practice. Johnny is good but you pull your punches a lot against him. Today was no different.”

“It’s not moral kombat, I'm not trying to kill him.” You looked up and locked your phone with the press of a button. 

“True but I believe you rival Raiden. If you won against him I wouldn't have been surprised.”

“Truthfully? Since you said there would only be one Champion I didn't want to be it.”

“You don't believe you could do it?” He stepped fully into the room and sat down across from you. His eyes examined you as his eyes read your body. They softened into a look of realization. “You don't think you can handle the pressure.” He seemed so surprised by the fact it made you press your lips together. 

“Yeah. Why are you surprised?”

“Well, doing things in front of an audience isn't anything new for you. I would have thought you would enjoy the spotlight.”

“Not as me though. When I'm up one stage as Nightingale that's another person. She's a mask I put on. Admittedly it can be a liberating mask at times but this is scary being me. Doing something with my name and my face. It's not the same.”

“I understand and I thank you for doing this regardless.”

A knock at your door had both of your heads turn to face it. Liu Kang nodded to you and you spoke up. “Come in.” 

Johnny's head poked around the door and landed on Liu Kang’s for a second. “Hope I'm not interrupting anything.”

“No, we were just discussing the fight. I was heading out anyway.” The fire god stood up and smiled as he left the room. 

“Soooo.” Johnny slid into the room and you swore his teeth shined as he grinned. 

“Yes, Johnny?”

“Pick you up at seven?” 

“From where? Johnny, we’re going to Outworld in a day. You can't be seriously thinking about a date.”

“No, no I mean after all this. Me, you, a world-class view and the best Wagyu you ever had.”

“No.” You folded your arms and his face dropped. Before he could say anything you continued. “You said anywhere I want. I don't want some flashy restaurant. I want at home-cooked dinner.”

“Oh thank god, I thought you were telling me no. Yeah, I can cook for you. Prepare for the best home-cooked meal you ever had.”

“I want to watch you cook it.” 

“Come on you doubt my ability? You really think I would purchase food then disguise it as my own cooking?”

“Yes. That's exactly what I think and the fact you brought it up tells me you had thought of it.”

“No way. You underestimate, trust me I know how to cook.” 

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

-

Your house never really felt like a home. Not after your address got doxxed and you were never left alone. Paparazzi loved to sit there and attempt to get photos of you out of costume. In all honesty, you spent most of your time at your friend's loft. As much as you could, she didn’t mind.

That's where you were as you got ready. Lisa smiled as she helped you with your dress. “So what's his name again? I can't believe you went to a monk monastery and found a hot date.”

“Jonathan.” 

“And what does this Jonathan do?”

“Some acting.”

“Uh-huh uh-huh.”

“It's not a big deal.” You shrugged as her hands left your dress and you turned to face her. 

“Not a big deal?! I don't think you have been on a genuine date since ever. When was the last time you had a date that wasn't a PR stunt?”

“I don't know.”

“Nev-er.” She emphasized the two syllables. 

“It's one date and I already know the guy.”

“The fact that you already know him and agreed to go out on a date with him tells me there's going to be wedding bells in a month.”

“Lisa! No way. He's charming sure but I don't know. He might be one for the chase you feel? Might get bored.”

“Girl if he gets bored of you then we're all doomed cause then love isn't real.”

“He, like, split with his wife a few months ago.”

Her face fell you could see concern form on her face. “Shit, that's not great. If the press find out about it they could spin the whole-”

“Homewrecker story yeah I know.”

“You don't even have an album to profit off it either.”

“Yeah, I'm hoping to keep this all on the down low”

“Lips sealed. Where's he taking you?”

“Dinner at his place, it was my pick.”

“Smart.” She gave you a sly smile and tapped the side of her head with her finger. 

There was a knock on the door and Lisa pretended to go for it and you scrambled to get to the door before her. A loud laugh left her lips and you glared at her before she disappeared into the kitchen. 

You made your way to the door and cracked it open to see Johnny leaning there on the door frame, flowers in his hand. A bouquet of red chrysanthemums.

“You got me flowers?” At first, you thought it was a little corny but then you paused at the type. 

“I remember you looking at them back at the temple. We were training and took a break by them. You had the prettiest smile as you looked at them.”

A flush formed on your face at the realization he had been watching you. It was hard to tell when he wore sunglasses almost everywhere. “Here let me go out these in a vase.” You took them from him and wandered back into the loft. As you approached the kitchen a single hand came up from the side of the island and placed a vase on the surface. Lisa was obviously hiding down. 

It already had water in it. You put the red bouquet in them and settled them there on the counter. 

“Nice place you got here.”

“Oh uh, I didn't decorate it. All credit goes to my friend Lisa.”

“Well tell your friend Lisa she did a good job.”

“I'm sure she knows in her own way.” You mumbled under your breath. “Shall we get out of here then?” You turned to face Johnny as he looked around the loft.

“Right this way.” 

-

Johnny's mansion was massive and in every way, it screamed him. “Welcome to mi casa.” He put his hands up and walked backwards. Your eyes trained over the building as he led you through the building. It wasn't new by your standards, you were no stranger to lavish houses but you couldn't deny the stunning view of the sun setting by his pool. 

“And this here is the kitchen.” It was a massive room that had an island that connected it to the rest of the building. It had giant windows without curtains that continued on the view. He pulled out one of the island counter chairs and gestured for you to sit on it. 

“Mi lady.” You placed your hand on the counter and sat down.

“Thanks.” 

Johnny jogged into the kitchen and started to roll his sleeves up. He started to pull out ingredients from his fridge and cupboards. 

“So what's on the menu for tonight.”

“You said no to Wagyu so hope you don't mind pasta.”

He got a pot out. “Mmm, I do love pasta, what kind?”

“Rotini.” He dramatically said with a fake Italian accent. 

You watched as he picked up two onions from the cupboard and started to juggle them in one hand. 

“Faster.” You commanded with a devilish smirk on your face. His brows shot up above his glasses but followed your request. Faster and faster he went until he threw one up really high and caught the other. It landed in his hand and you started to give him a little applause as you laughed. 

“Johnny Cage the clown. How fitting.”

“I may be a fool but only a fool for you.” He tilted his face so you could see above his glasses and he winked.”

“That's so bad.”

“Ah, but you love it.” 

You rolled your eyes at him and slipped out of the chair. Johnny watched with interest as you approached and took the onions from his hand. You ran them underwater before you grabbed his kitchen knife and started to cut them on the waiting cutting board. 

“Thought I was making dinner.” He hummed and placed his hands on your shoulder. 

“Well someone has to make dinner while you're doing your circus act.” 

“In that case, we want them in small cube kinda shapes. We only actually need one onion.” 

“You just wanted to show off your juggling skills?” 

“Uh- yeah! Come on, of course, I’m going to do everything I can to impress my incredibly hot, smart and talented date.”

You shook your head as you laughed and he snatched away the spare onion. To stay productive he reached and got the garlic from a small container on the bench. Johnny pulled out a small bowl and crushed the garlic into it. 

“Is this good?” You asked and Johnny leaned over you to look. 

“Perfect.”

Johnny leaned over to grab a large pan and placed it on the element before he doused it in olive oil and turned it to medium heat. He grabbed some butter from the fridge and broke some off and added it to the pan. 

Johnny lined up a few spices and grabbed passata from the fridge. “I can cook but there is no way I am making my own passata.” He pointed it at you and you held your hands up in defense. 

“Never said a word Cage.”

“Good, I don't want any minus points.”

“I'm not grading you on our date Johnny.” You laughed. “Just be yourself.”

“Greeeattt. Because myself is my favourite person to be.”

“Never mind, I take back my words I am grading you and you just lost points.”

He made a dramatic gasp before his lips curled upward. 

“Oh, teach is there any way I can get extra credit? I’ll do anything. ” His brows wiggled and you grabbed a tea towel and whipped him with it. 

“You’re the worst now shut up, the pans sizzling.” 

His attention snapped back to the pan and he took a few steps towards you. When he was close enough to touch you he picked up the onion with cupped hands before he dropped them into the pan. 

“Mind stirring the pasta?” He nodded towards it. You grabbed the spoon that was placed to the side and followed his instructions. 

“You know, it's pretty crazy we both live in L.A.”

“Yeah, I moved here for my work. I don't think I ever quite made it home though.”

“How come?”

“I don't know, it's so loud and in your face. I think that's fine some of the time but other times I just want to hide away with the quiet.”

“Not a fan of partying it up large?”

“Oh I can party- trust me. I'm no shut in but like sometimes I need to rest. Just curl up in bed on my phone.”

“I get that.”

“Really? You seem so high energy all the time.”

“Ah trust me sometimes the Cage needs to chill at home with a drink. Not often-” He paused. “-But sometimes yeah.”

He stared off for a moment before he snapped back to the onions. Johnny grabbed the small bowl of garlic and dumped it. It sizzled and added to the inviting scent of the onions. 

Johnny added the passata and his lineup of spices and continued to mix the pan. “So what do you do for your work? I don't think I remember you saying at the academy.”

“Ah, it's not very interesting compared to you.”

“Awww come on, I still want to know. Considering how big of a deal it is for you.’

“Mmm, I'm an artist I suppose.”

“Woah really?” 

“Kinda I guess. It's whatever, I'm not really a fan of taking about it, to be honest.”

“No problem here, if you don't want to talk about it that's fine by me.” He smiled. 

“I appreciate it. But what about you? How's the directing business going?”

“Oh fantastic honestly, Mortal Kombat? A massive hit let me tell you. What did you think of it? Comparing it to real life.”

“I uh haven't actually gotten around to watching it.”

His jaw dropped and turned his entire body to face you. “You haven't watched it?”

“I guess I was scared maybe? Like I presume you put someone as me in it and I didn't really want to see myself portrayed?”

“Hey if you wanted me to write you out-”

“No, no, it's not that. I like that you're telling our story I just, ah, I've never been a fan of seeing recordings of myself.”

“You’re not? But how come? Loom at you your gorgeous. A grade triple S for super smoking sexy hottie.”

“It's a mental thing.” You shrugged and scratched your side. 

“Look, I don't understand that at all, but I respect that. How about I make a cut specially for you, that hasn't got you in it?””

You laughed and slapped his arm. “No Johnny that's sweet but I'm not going to get you to do that. Look if you want me to watch it that bad I will.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I’ll take it.” He pulled out some cream from the fridge and dumped it into the pan. Johnny turned it down to a simmer and got the cheese from the fridge. 

Johnny started to grate the cheese and you couldn't help but watch his muscles tense as he did so. You leaned against the countertop with your back and folded your arms. 

“How big of a cheese fan are you?” 

“Mmm go to town.”

“Hey hey! That's what I like to hear.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Oh, man I was dying there at the academy without it. Practically gorged myself when I got back.” Johnny turned off the element and strained the water from the pasta. He let it sit for a moment before he added the cheese and finally the Rotini. 

Johnny fished out a fork from his draw but as he went to try it you grabbed his wrist. Caught by curiosity, he allowed you to direct it towards you where you put it in your mouth. 

A moan got caught on your lips as you let go of his wrist and enjoyed the flavours that delighted the inside of your mouth. It was warm and comforting in every way it should be. 

“Mmm, this is really good Johnny!” 

Despite your compliment, he just stood there stunned “Johnny?”

“Huh? Oh yeah uh-” He cleared his throat and shook off his stunned state. “You go into the dining room over there and I'll bring it out.”

“You don't need my help?”

“Trust me you've been plenty of help, I'll be there in a second.”

The dining room was a lot more separate in its own way. It was on the side of the house and gave a view not to the pool but the large garden outside. It felt in its own way a lot more private somehow. 

There were two large solo unlit candelabras in the centre of the table while a setting for two had been prepared.

You found a seat and after a couple of moments, Johnny came through the door. He had a fake moustache on and a tea towel draped over one arm. Johnny held a pair of plates with a metal round cover over the top of them and practically bounced over to the table. 

He put one across from you and then one in front of you. The metal covering was lifted and he gestured towards it. “For the lady, our finest Rotini.” A return of the fake Italian accent. “And would she like a drink with her meal? Wine perhaps?”

“Waters fine thanks, I'd like to be able to remember this.”

There was a glint in his eyes at your words and he vanished for a moment. “The finest water we have.” He placed a glass on the table and then poured a jug into it. Johnny placed it on the table and then lit the two candles. 

“Now is there anything else we can do for the lady?” 

“Mmm, perhaps a dinner date would be nice, just someone to keep me company.” You played along and brought the glass of water to your lips. 

Johnny ripped off the fake moustache and dumped it to the side with the towel. “Hey look at all this! Mind if I join you?” 

“Be my guest.”

“Man, this place has great service.” Johnny slid into the seat across from you and removed the top. He was about to pick up his cutlery when he paused. Then he fished a small remote out of his pocket a clicked it. Behind you, a speaker started to lightly play soft music and you could only roll your eyes. 

“Hey got to have a good soundtrack to your life huh?”

“Whatever you say, Cage.” You bit into the pasta and you had to admit he had cooked it to perfection. “I admit I'm surprised you can cook this well.”

“My mom taught me when I was a kid. Credit goes to her. Was a pain in her ass too, I always kept eating everything.”

“Wow seemed like littles changed huh?”

“You love me.”

“Sure Cage whatever you say.”

The meal the pair of you eventually finished and Cage disappeared for a moment when he cleaned the table. You were left alone in the dining room as music continued to play. 

“Now, how are you? Looking for dessert because I can get us some if you want.”

“Ugh, I think I'll die if I eat another bite thanks.” 

“In that case…” He dramatically held out his hand. “May I have this dance?*

“You dance huh?” You took his hand. 

“Of course!” He led you past the end of the table where there was room. “Do you?” His voice was far lower and quieter than usual as you placed your hands against his chest where you leaned into him, far from proper form. 

“I do but I kinda just want to sway if that's okay.”

His hands settled on your waist as he soaked in your proximity. “Hey, anything the lady wants.” Johnny pulled you against him and the pair of you slowly swayed to the music. 

“I had fun with you tonight. It's been a long time since I cooked for let another cooked with someone.” 

“Thanks for cooking for me Johnny. Despite what I say, or when I act annoyed, I enjoyed myself as well. A lot.” You lift your head and looked into his eyes. Slowly, one hand drifted from behind his neck down to the side of his face where you cupped it. 

Johnny stayed almost completely still and allowed you to take the lead. Then slowly you started to lean in and just as you closed in, lips just about to touch- a loud barring sound came from your phone. 

Snapped out of it, you pulled away from Johnny and desperately went for your phone. 

“I'm so sorry I have to take this.” You apologised and answered your phone as you left the room. 

-

“Jackson you said you wanted work like my old stuff, this is like it.”

“Yeah, but a love album? The style might be the same but the messages? This is all different.”

“What do you mean it's not a love album it's a party one. Pop music about sex and shit.”

“I have fucking ears, Gale. I know when a song is about falling in love. Who's the person huh? At least give me a heads up before there's a scandal.”

“There's not- I'm- look” You stuttered as Johnny came into the living room and headed to get a drink but didn't disturb you. 

“We can talk about it tomorrow come into the studio tomorrow morning at eight. The actual one, not your home one.”

“What? No, I always work from home I'm not-”

“That was before you delivered me a fucking love album. This is not your old work!”

“But it's the work you're getting from me you can take it or leave it.” You hissed. 

“Look, we can make it work we just have to do a little editing. Just come into the studio, no buts. Be there.”

“No I-” The line went dead. You let out a sigh of frustration and combed your hair with your hand. 

“Might have only heard some of your side but I presume that was work?”

“Yeah my manager called, I have to come in tomorrow. Look Johnny this has been great really and I wish I could stay but if I'm going I'm tomorrow I really need to get back home and retire.” Guilt formed on your face but he didn't get mad. 

Cage shrugged and draped an arm around you. “Don't sweat it, we’ll get you home nice and early. There's always next time.”

“Next time?” You cocked a brow as the pair of you started to head towards his front door. 

“Yeah. Next time.”

Admittedly you spent most of the car ride grumbling about your manager as Johnny attempted to cheer you up. Eventually, you found yourself back at Lisa’s doorstep. 

“Thanks for the ride, Johnny.” You stood in the doorway as he leaned on the door frame. 

“Anytime.”

“I had a good time, that was really nice.”

“That's what I've been telling you babe!” You rolled your eyes at him and snaked an arm around his neck. You leaned in and soon your lips connected with his. At first, he only moved slowly, testing the waters to see where you were going with matters but as you pulled him against you he committed fully. 

He pressed against your body as one hand found your backside and started to feel it up. Johnny's tongue danced against your own. Just as he started to get comfortable you broke away. A sound rumbled from his throat and you couldn't help but grin at him. Your hand drifted from his neck up to cup his cheek. 

“Fuck.” He whispered and went to kiss your neck, just one last touch. With your free hand, you gently pressed on his chest and he got the idea. 

“Goodnight Johnny.” You hummed and you swore he practically whined. 

“One more.”

“Next time.” A promise. 

“Next time?” He sounded pleased at the motion. 

“Sure, got to give these back.” You stole the glasses off his face and escaped out of his grip. One last wink, you shut the door behind you. Lisa popped up from the couch with wide eyes. 

“Some actor? You didn't tell me you were going on a date with Johnny fucking Cage! ”

[bakiuwu]

This chapter is fucjing me up bad, he started off the convo, bringing up how his abilities caught up to his body. It's like he was trying to impress yujiro. Like a kid trying to show off to their parent, then for yujiro to acknowledge him, cause he's able to tell by how he holds himself. Then, to tell him it's not perfect, only to follow it up with "but you're getting there"......I can't do this.

And look how he looks at him......omg, it like he's shocked that yujiro sees his growth......I can't do this

It is so werid seeing yujiro being.....kind? to Jack epically since after what happen between the two of them after baki and Jack's fight, and even after that, he doesn't seem to have anything to say to him or about him. Especially during the pickle arc, where he calls jack a pathetic loser along with evryone else, when everyone broke in to meet pickle( he didnt even bat an eye at him)

Yujiro acts like he only has one child and that child being baki. Even when Tokugawa brings up retsu,katsumi, and Jack's fight with pickle, saying how he doesn't see how baki could win if thoes 3 lost to pickl. Yujiro responded saying "thoes 3 have nothing to do with baki," then saying baki has his blood and that he's a Hanma. Then, when Tokugawa says, (Jack also has your blood. He just brushed it off saying "hes not pure." So, seeing him be so........normal to him while showing dislikement towards him is crazy

Yujiro brings up a quote from Musashi: "In Confrontation, you have to postion yourself above your enemy Musashi". He brings up how Jack getting taller is a shortcut of being over his enemies

look at his expression. He looks hurt. Even tho he hates yujiro, he still cares about his opinion. For him to repeat what yujiro said, then to ask, "Do you dislike it?" He sounds like a kid, a kid who cares deeply about his parent opinion, a kid who doesn't want to disappoint his father.....his facial expression....his body language. It looks like he slowed down a bit while walking like he needed a minute to register what yujiro just said to him.

It's not far off to say Jack cares about yujiro opinions about him to some degree. When Jack lost to pickle for a second time, he could only think of the last words yujiro spoke to him

"Resonate in his heart" i remember reading tha for the first time and wanting to die omg, but seeing him reacted like this isn't surprising, it's very clear how effective yujiros' words are towards him, and how even if trys to not care about yujiro opinion of him, a part of him deeply cares. Every child wants the approval of their parents even if they hate them.

After Jack asks him if he dislikes it, yujiro says, "I can't bring myself to" which made me threw myself against the wall.....LIKE I JUST CANT AND WHATS MAKES THIS WORST...

IS JACK FACE,HE WAS PROBABLY WAITING FOR YUJIRO TO RIP INTO HIM ABOUT HIM GETTING TALLER AND HIS WHOLE FIGHTING STLYE OVER ALL BUT NO

Yujiro beings to.....praise Jack......omfg itagaki I swear to go-, saying that what's he's doing isn't easy, how he dealt with humiliation and pain. HOW HE IS THE ONLY MAN WHO HAVE EVER STEP HIS FOOT INTO THE TURE WORLD OF BITTING, THIS IS SO BITTERSWEET BUT FINALLY HES GETTING HIS FOLLOWERS HATE THAG YUJIRO IS THE ONE GIVING HIM PRIASE.....but for him to say he has a rare purity.....oh I'm sick....like.....WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

..........this panel killed me......its so......idk even know man, the way yujiro looks at Jack cause he stop walking but the way hes looking at him......his eyes are so soft......, then Jack....my baby Jack, my sweet baby......I can tell that he's trying to keep his composure.......the way he's noting even looking at yujiro, cause he knows of he looks at him.....he'll break out In tears.....oh my God and what says "....thats the first time....you've ever complimented me".........itagaki when I catch you......ow

Idk why, but him saying that really fucks my heart so bad......i dont even know what to say I'm so fucking sad right now. No one ever gives itagaki credit for how good of a writer he is, mans is able to yank your heart strings out if he wants, This is probably my favorite chapter....the mood of it is so....calm and idk, but If this was able to fuck me up bad, just imagine how I'm be when more Jack lore come out

But once again, I'm just rambling my ass off . Also, God, im so dramatic😭

[youkaigakkou-tl]

The TRUTH behind the soul pieces

Preamble: I started writing this expecting nothing, but I actually found something??? not clickbait???? gone right???

Warning: the expected reaction of reading this is “damn. I’ve never seen someone grasp harder at straws” and “I dunno about this one chief”

So. "The soul pieces aren't exactly what we're told they are" is an idea I've had for a while now. (I wouldn’t even call it a theory, it’s just a passing thought.) Not that "they're manifestations of Haruaki's traits" is wrong, but I think there's more to them than immediately obvious. I just haven't talked about this much because even I don't fully buy into it and it kinda verges on horoscope-type confirmation bias territory. It’s kind of a, I THINK there’s more to it but I don’t know what exactly is more.

A brief recap

First one shown is his "worldly desires", animal trio vs Seiryuu.

Second is his "freak athleticism", that Kurahashi's team and Ebisu just ran into.

With just these two he runs off to find Sano

Third is his "cowardice", found by Sano's team and Byakko, which gets away and hides in Sano's pocket.

Fourth is his "memory", originally found by Hijita's team and Genbu, which gets picked up by Genbu and then the whole Heian flashback happens.

And last is his "intelligence", which for some reason is also the one that can use his exorcism power.

So immediately a couple details stood out to me.

Why is "memory" here?? I wouldn't call that a trait exactly??

Also, when it first broke apart and flew off in five directions, it's specifically pointed out that it's "like a five pointed star" (even though it's not really if you look at the actual locations on a map lol)

And the sticking point, if it was as clean and simple a split as “Haruaki’s traits”, why do the traits bleed into each other? “Athleticism” is into sailor uniforms too, and “Cowardice” and “Intelligence” are pretty quick by themselves. Also, even without his “Memory” at the time, he remembered that conversation with Seimei in ch87.

The five pointed star detail, considering everything in the arc heavily relates to the Four Gods and Seimei's star, which relates to Wuxing, almost begs to be referencing that too.

What is Wuxing?

Wuxing, five elements, five phases, gogyo, whatever other name for it: I’ve talked about it briefly in my Kyoto arc analysis

(Wait. Is this actually all I mentioned regarding Wuxing in that analysis???? This tells you nothing!!)

(Tbh I think I had a longer explanation about it but I cut it because I thought it was irrelevant)

Wuxing 五行, roughly translated as five elements or phases, is a concept that comes from Taoism. The five elements are Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal and Water and describes the interactions between them. Here’s the wikipedia page if you really want to get into the details.

The “xing” means movements/moving, and the entire concept of Wuxing comes from the five classical planets’ (Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn) movements affecting… things? In general? (It’s horoscopes)

In fact, the names of those five planets in Chinese and Japanese are tied with the Wuxing:

Mercury = 水星 water star

Venus = 金星 metal/gold star

Mars = 火星 fire star

Jupiter = ���星 wood star

Saturn = 土星 earth star

You’re taught these as a kid but not the reasoning behind it (because it’s hella irrelevant lmao) but I guess it kinda makes instinctual sense? (Venus = yellow, Mars = red, Jupiter = stripes, like tree rings?? Saturn = brown. Mercury = it looks like there’s rivers? idk how much detail they were seeing in the BC times)

And just to sate curiosity, the planets that were discovered after telescopes were invented are just based off the English names

Uranus = 天王星 sky god star

Neptune = 海王星 sea god star

Pluto = 冥王星 underworld god star

By the way, this is also why the days of the week are named after elements in Japanese; it’s not actually the elements, rather it’s referring to the celestial bodies: those 5 planets + the moon and the sun. It’s the classical Chinese system that Japan adopted around the 5th century AD, and they haven’t changed it since then. (Chinese uses stuff like “weekday 1” for monday now.) And China itself adopted the Greco-Roman system of the 7 day week, days named after celestial bodies around the 4th century AD, which is also why the planets and days line up if you look at the English and Japanese names now.

Would be crazy if they independently decided to have 7 days in a week and name days after celestial bodies and assigned the same planets to the days huh.

(Also, TIL from looking at this chart that the sun (taiyang) is indeed called that because it’s the “great yang star”, and the moon is called the “great yin star”, you know, like yin-yang)

I’m remembering why it’s so hard to research and write about this stuff now. Everything is so inextricably connected to everything else its hard to talk about one thing in isolation. Thanks for indulging my astronomy tangent I love astronomy.

(I always got saturn on da mind when I think about Seimei cus of this art…)

The only useful part of this essay

So. Wuxing. Here’s a pretty standard diagram of it so it’s easier to visualise

There are five types of processes Wuxing describes:

Generating: Wood feeds fire

The reverse side of generating: Fire burns wood

Regulating: Wood grasps earth

Excessive regulating (destruction): Wood depletes earth

The reverse side of regulation (exhaustion): Earth rots wood

And here’s a full list of it, from wikipedia

With this in mind, you’ll notice that it pops up all over the place in Kyoto arc!

If we take lightning as aligned with metal (because Byakko = metal = lightning user), this is the regulating interaction of metal -> wood

Metal cuts wood, but wood also dulls metal

Water… nourishing wood….???

Water destabilizes earth

(“This is just pokemon lol” WRONG!! Pokemon types and every other element system in videogames came from Wuxing!! (Or Godai))

Back to the soul pieces

So you see, it’s incredibly tempting to connect the five soul pieces with the five elements of Wuxing. It’s basically begging for it. The Wuxing has been associated with lots of things that come in sets of five, including things like senses, tastes, smells, emotions, mental qualities, periods of one’s life, body parts. It has applications in divination and traditional chinese medicine after all. If there was a clear, 1-to-1 match between the soul pieces and the elements, you bet I would have talked about it more by now. But the connections are tenuous at best, and even I don’t really believe it. They might, probably, just be the traits we’re told they are. So this really is just to humor myself, and maybe someone can glean something more from this.

Let’s lay out the things surrounding the soul pieces:

“Desires” was at Arashiyama (a bamboo forest) and Seiryuu was present, both associated with Wood

“Athleticism” was at Ginkaku-ji (silver pavilion), none of the four gods were present, no obvious element associations here.

“Cowardice” was at Mount Kurama (mountain = earth?), Byakko was present (metal?)

“Memory” was at Kiyomizu-dera (clear water temple), and Genbu was present, water association

“Intelligence” was at Kinkaku-ji (gold pavilion), and none of the four gods were present initially. (gold = metal?)

The other thing I’ve yet to mention is all the soul pieces seem to be of different points in Haruaki’s life. (Well. Four of them at least.)

“Desires” and “Athletics” seem to look and act younger (as much as you can tell with chibis…), both wearing simple t-shirts, and “Athletics” t-shirt and shorts look like what Haruaki wore as a kid in the Miki arc flashback. Adding on to that, we’re constantly told how into sailor uniforms Haruaki was as a little kid (literally whenever his childhood gets brought up: Mamaaki talking about it in ch8, him saying his first cry as a newborn was “sailor uniform” in ch43, the ch51.5 extra) (ok to be fair. his sailor uniform fetish gets brought up at every opportunity. but i feel like it’s Pretty emphasized here) Also I feel like “Desires” especially talks like a kid.

Meanwhile “Cowardice” and “Memory” are dressed the way he currently does, and “Cowardice” seems to parallel the way Haruaki was at the start of the series. It’s Sano’s team that runs into him, he acts like how Haruaki did early on just amped way up, and he ends up hiding on Sano.

IQ-kun… still don’t know what to make of him and how he fits into this lol

Put like this, doesn’t it almost seem like, in the order they appear, they represent points in Haruaki’s life too?

Or, this could all be nothing, because they’re all wearing the same thing in the jacket for Volume 14.

So anyway, from this angle, it seems like Desires and Athletics line up fairly cleanly with Wood and Fire respectively, but Cowardice, Memory and Intelligence are a little murkier. Cowardice only somewhat lines up with Earth, and both Memory and Intelligence could align with Water, while Memory could also be Metal. (I dropped the quotation marks bc they were getting distracting)

Here’s a diagram to illustrate.

(See it’s kinda, pick-and-choosey, horoscope-type shit)

Immediately a couple problems arise. First and most majorly is the horoscopey-ness of it all. And then there’s the matter that, if the four gods represent four out of five of the elements and earth is the outlier, wouldn’t it also make sense if IQ-kun as the outlier would be assigned that?

There’s also the possibility that the first four are a set, and IQ-kun makes up the “yin” to the rest of Haruaki’s “yang” (But then what would the first four correspond to individually? idk….)

We’re getting nowhere with this analogy, so let’s look at some adjacent philosophies in sets of five, just for fun, and see if they line up any better.

Traditional Chinese Medicine

This one is the most related to Wuxing, there are five main “organs” in TCM that have associated Wuxing elements. They might be called the same names as the anatomical organs, but they’re actually more like concepts only roughly correlated with locations on the body. This is stuff codified thousands of years ago before modern knowledge of the human body, mind you.

Heart (fire): stores the “aggregate soul” (the mind)

Spleen (earth): governs transportation of qi and blood, and governs muscles and limbs

Lung (metal): stores the “po 魄” (physical soul)

Kidney (water): responsible for willpower or fear

Liver (wood): governs free flow of qi, blood and emotions. Stores blood, which stores the “hun 魂” (ethereal soul)

(The wikipedia page I linked has more in depth descriptions)

And if we sorta line up the attributes…

Desires = Liver/wood

Athleticism = Spleen/earth

Cowardice = Kidney/water

Memory = Lung/metal

Intelligence = Heart/fire

Something like this? It doesn’t line up particularly nicely either, and certainly doesn’t line up with the first theory…

But reading up on this actually brought something useful to my attention: the concept of “hun” and “po”

See, there’s this Chinese compound word “hun po 魂魄” that generally just means “soul”, but if you get really semantic they’re two different types of souls?

The “hun” is the yang-aligned “ethereal soul” typically understood as the wits/mind of a person, whatever constitutes the personality, and is the part of the soul that leaves the body on death.

The “po” is the yin-aligned “physical soul”, sometimes described as the “baser animal spirit” of a person, and is attached to the body.

This could explain why Haruaki’s soul is also Seimei’s soul, but also Seimei is in the underworld?

This scene I got real hung up about in my Kyoto arc post?

It lining up and being a reasonable explanation is one thing, but whether sensei is deliberately referencing a property of Chinese linguistics that doesn’t have an equivalent in Japanese kanji is another thing. And honestly, I could see Tanaka “I’ll have to read up on Chinese history, but off the top of my head Byakko and Seiryuu are from 4000BC and Suzaku and Genbu are younger” Mai could and would do it. (Good god, what I wouldn’t give to see sensei’s notes. Yohaji fanbook explaining every cultural reference PLEASEEEE IM BEGGINGGG)

Godai

Godai (“the five great (elements)”), while also a thing with five elements that features prominently in Japanese culture, differs from Wuxing in that it originates from the concept of Mahābhūta in Indian Buddhism, and features Fire, Water, Earth, Wind and Void. It’s a more inert definition and describes the elements as building blocks, contrasting with Wuxing which is more concerned with the balancing and interaction between the elements and the changes they cause in each other.

Godai also isn’t ever depicted as a star (and Wuxing is only depicted as a star as a byproduct of all the arrows denoting the interactions, sometimes the 5 elements are arranged like the 5 side of a dice with lines connecting everything) and is typically depicted as a Gorinto, a stone structure.

In order from top to bottom, it goes Void, Wind, Fire, Water, Earth, and represents the structure of the universe in Buddhism.

So. Attributes and if they line up any better.

Earth: unmoving, stability

Water: fluidity, adaptability, motion

Fire: passion, power, energy

Wind: growth, freedom

Void: the spirit? thought? there’s not really a clear description of this one. To begin with, originally in Buddhism, it’s just said that “from void emerged air, from air emerged fire, (etc)”

I could see wind = Memory and void = Intelligence, but the rest… I dunno man

The five aggregates in Buddhism

And now, following the thread back from Godai, to the Buddhist concept of Skandhas, or the “five aggregates of clinging”, described as the five factors that make up a sentient being’s personality. (Hey, this sounds like it could be onto something here!)

The five aggregates are:

Form or matter: the material form of a person

Sensation or feeling: the five senses + intellectual sensation, and the feelings that occur whether pleasant, unpleasant or neutral

Perception: cognition and recognizing what has been previously noted

Mental formations: dispositions, or something that motivates a person to take action (or sometimes described as the influences of a previous life?!)

Consciousness: cognizance, or the base that supports experience, sometimes translated as mind, intelligence or life force

Wait… This kinda… lines up…? No way…?

Form = Athleticism

Sensation = Cowardice

Perception = Memory

Mental formations = Desires

Consciousness = Intelligence

This… kinda works? They all basically line up and it’s not too tenuous, and there’s enough matching details in the descriptions of the five aggregates that it’s kinda scary…?

I’ll be real, prior to writing this section I hadn’t actually read the descriptions of each of them too carefully (I had the tab open and roughly noted the descriptions kinda worked) and I entirely expected to end this essay with a “in conclusion: no conclusion i learned nothing lol” but there’s actually something here????

And Tanaka Mai is known to reference Buddhism a lot, so this could entirely be intentional…??? I’m kinda shaken rn tbh

I mean, I guess I should have looked to Buddhism first considering sensei’s track record, what with how the arc opened with Haruaki getting put under a waterfall to get rid of his worldly desires, and how 3 out of 5 locations were Buddhist temples, but Buddhism concepts usually use their Sanskrit names and I don’t know how to google for that… (making excuses. classic)

Um. Hope you enjoyed reading this and that you learned something? Here’s all the relevant wikipedia pages if you want to go down your own rabbit hole:

Wuxing (Chinese five elements)

Godai (Japanese Buddhism five elements)

Mahābhūta (Indian Buddhism five elements)

Hun and po (two concepts of souls)

Skandha (five aggregates that make up a person)

Twelve Nidanas (didn’t mention this one, but it’s related to skandhas)

If you read all this you should read all my other long rambly things too if you haven’t, they’re all under the #rambles tag 👍

[badbatcher-99]

✨Okay, it’s theory time✨

As usual spoilers below👇👇👇

So this weeks episode is called “Into the Breach” and my first thought reading this was “okay so the boys are going INTO something? Raiding? Storming? Into Tantis?” But I had take a step back and rethink. Tantis is heavily guarded, going into the base stealthily is NOT a BREACH! A breach is an opening, it can be something that was once sealed, guarded, or fortified. A dam can be breached by nature, a fort or blockade can be breached by opposing forces. So the question is: What is being breached and why?

In the last episode Rampart says:

Nobody knows the coordinates to Tantiss. It was designed that way. But I might know how to get around that.

It’s interesting that Tantiss doesn’t have coordinates, I’d almost assume that maybe it wasn’t a planet… but that’s clearly wrong haha

Anyway… if Tantiss doesn’t have coordinates then there must be someway to get to it. I think it’s some Peter Pan goofy “second star to the right and straight on till morning” directions ya know what I mean. Like what has the empire done to make sure Tantis is hidden and can’t be found by anyone else?

I do find the use of “designed” interesting, as if Tantiss was built from nothing. Now this could just be referring to the base itself and not the planet. Cause the labs weren’t in those mountains from the start haha. But to be able to make a planet disappear into thin air, to be undiscovered is pretty hard to fathom.

Back to the “second star to the right” quote, what exactly is the middle point between everywhere else in the galaxy … and THIS planet. What is stopping people from randomly finding it, what has the empire put in place to make sure it never gets found? Whatever that middle point is, is what our boys are going to have to get through. I don’t know if that is necessarily the breach though. Anyway… I’m wondering if maybe there is a special machine that is able to light speed ships to Tantiss. For whatever reason, this planet has been hidden from maps for a while, I don’t know if this was palps doing during the republic but for a planet to just not have coordinates is ridiculous. ANYWAY!!! Let’s look at these two pictures from the trailer:

We find Hunter and crosshair inside a ship being little tics. For some reason they stuck to this ship and have detached from it. I’m thinking that with ramparts info, the batch are able to somehow leech onto this ship and GET to Tantis. (If this is true it kind of puts a nail into my theory that echo and the rebellion are going to show up in the finale but I actually have a theory on how to get that nail out. ) so somehow they are able to do this stealthily (but it’s obvious they get caught somehow) anyway this is their way into Tantis I’m sure of it. Now whether or not this is an enemy ship they are attached to is up to debate. For all we know the larger ship may belong to Rex and the rebellion 🤷‍♀️.

As to answer what’s being breached… Im just gunna take a guess and say that the breach is both about getting past the midway point and breaking into Tantis.

I’m just now realizing how much stuff that needs to happen within the next three episodes! I don’t know if we will see rampart again, we may just jump straight to the boys executing their breach plan idk. There’s that part in the trailer where someone says “abort the mission” and Hunter says “negative” and it’s clear that this is before their armor is all black so what?? Is??? Going?? On??????? I actually want to say the next three episodes would be 1 hour long… I could have sworn we saw episode length leaks where a lot of the episodes were 20-30 minutes long but I can no longer find that information anywhere! So if anyone has that info correct me cause I actually believe we might get three 1 hour long episodes, cause this is the list of what needs to be covered:

Omega, emerie and the other children

What’s in the red and black vault? (Will we ever see what’s in here or is there just an assumption that we all know it’s palps clones??? This is a kids show, I think they’d show it???)

CX clones. Will we see the end to the CX clone project? Or will that project be concluded in a possible future show with Rex and echo? And, of course, WHO is CX-2. ( If CX-2 is NOT tech then I think CX-2 is just a nameless reflection of crosshairs trauma/past that he needs to overcome but that’s for another day.)

And if CX-2 is tech then we gotta unload that a little bit haha

How will Hunter wrecker and crosshair get to Tantiss?

And after they get onto Tantiss how do they get into the base and get to omega

How do they defeat Hemlock? Cause it certainly looks like the cloning of palpatine fails from what we see in the sequel trilogy. Hemlock has gotta go.

And once they even get to omega what happens then? How do they escape?

What happens to emerie, the children, nala se, scorch and the other clones.

Will we ever see Phee and batcher and the people of pabu? (I actually think we will see them all at the end of finale)

If this is the end of the clone rebellion then will we ever see wolffe or Cody?

I’m sure this list can go on and on. But I think a lot of this info for the side characters can be answered with a very quick scene or mention which I don’t mind because this isn’t about them it’s about the bad batch, ( which doesn’t mean we shouldn’t get closure about them, we should, but it doesn’t have to be heavily shown ya know ) also some of these questions may be left unanswered because they’ll be answered in a later show, like a clone rebellion show with Rex (that is if this isn’t the defining event for Rex to leave the rebellion 😭 hopefully not)

NOW I have seen a LOT of people afraid that a lot of our questions won’t get answered and to that I just have to say… avatar the last airbender had a 4 part season finale (22 min each) that answered a lot of questions and we were all satisfied with it. Now I know we have three episodes left… but I highly suspect one of them is an hour long which is the equivalent of 2-3 episodes. So we really have like 4-5. I do think a lot of the finale will be on Tantiss but the last 5-10 minutes (just like avatar) is us seeing the gang all happy and living their lives away from the empire!!! Maybe even a time skip (that would actually torture me) where we see older omega and older bad batch. (If that’s true then I’d really like for the last moments for them to hear that the empire has fallen I’d actually cry)

I did come across a speculation that maybe the ending will be ambiguous. That as long as omega is alive to the empire she will always be hunted down. And I can see that playing out but really… if hemlock and nala se die… then who can ever pick up their research??? If hemlock is thrown into the bucket after a huge failure then there is no need for the empire to continue pursuing omega. But I would like to say that in season 1 tech did tell everyone that boba fett went missing after the battle of genosis which could foreshadow that bad batch making it look like they are missing or dead ( huh they were presumed missing at the end of season 1 🤡 wouldn’t it be interesting if hemlocks lab was bombed just like his other labs and kamino??? It seems like the ordinal bombardment has been sneaking around the narrative, will it be ready to strike again??? I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we saw hemlock and tarkins talk… it’s obvious the emperor needs to keep hemlock and his research alive so why would palpatine ever issue an ordinal bombardment on Tantis? Why did we need to hear that hemlocks research was taking so much money??? Hemlock is literally on a tight rope ready to snap. It’s just we have no idea what’s going to make him fall.

This entire show, Rex has been weaving in and out of the narrative as well, I do think he will get a show but I also think in the context of the bad batch and mount Tantis that he will be involved in its destruction as well. That could mean:

The bad batch asking for their help: the rebellion performs a front line assault while the bad batch go around the rear, invade and rescue omega

The bad batch tell the rebellion about Tantis but the bad batch go in alone. But at the last moment the rebellion shows up and helps

They still work together but the bad batch go in alone to both save omega and to sabotage the inside before the rebellion shows up.

I literally can’t see any other way of this show ending where the rebellion doesn’t show up. I’m highly convinced they ARE the Calvary that arrives. I think it would be neat if we get the wolffe reveal here. That he has joined the resistance sometime between his appearance in extraction and the last episode. Like “surprise! I’m here and I brought more of our brothers to the rebellion”

I also don’t really think any of the bad batch members are going to die. Pls don’t attack me with what imma say next 💀 but if tech is really dead then there isn’t a need for any of the other batchers to die too. Cause tech was the “they have to lose at some point and that was it”. (Look I’m like 80% CX-2 is tech and if he isn’t then we are all clowns 🤡 ) Hunter is omegas father and the writers didn’t put so much emphasis on other side characters hinting to Hunter on how to lay low and live a good life outside of being a soldier for him to die. And tech didn’t “die” attempting to save crosshair for him to die either. To top that, crosshair didn’t go through all this healing for him to die too. Wrecker… wrecker just isn’t allowed to die. That’s it.

I’ve gone beyond my speculations for this next episode but I just ARGH I think the next few episodes are going to be dark but I do think there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Some people point to Michele saying the ending is bittersweet but I think she meant it in a way that for herself the actual show ending is bittersweet. Dee did tell me that I do need to bring a lot of tissues to the finale and the kiners did say they cried writing the music for the finale. Which says nothing to how the show will actually end. We could be crying happy tears for all we know!!!

ANYWAY, if avatar was able to do so much in 1hr and 30 min then I think the bad batch can do a lot in (hopefully) 1 hr and 44 min.

(If the the finale isn’t an hour long then you will NOT be hearing from me)

[stormkobra-5]

Red Handed, Part 2

Pairing: Moon Boys (mostly Steven) x Reader

Fic Type: One-Shot Series

[Part One] [Part Three] [Moon Boys Masterlist]

Summary: Marc and Jake have questions about Steven's unexpected actions with you last night; and it looks like you want to get him back with a taste of his own medicine.

A/N: It seems I've become a full-fledged thirst-machine along with the rest of you. Look at me, writing a smutty series. And to think I was shy about writing smut pffff--

Rating/Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, NSFW, pegging, praise kink, softdom!reader, (bratty?)sub!Steven, use of a strap-on, nasty uses of Steven’s batons, fluff, this was supposed to be ridiculously dirty but ended up being goofy and filthy at the same time idk

When Steven woke up to the blinding afternoon sunlight streaming in through the wide-open window, he grimaced and rolled away so violently he almost went right off the side of the bed. His phone alarm started going off, scaring the crap out of him-- why was it set to American military horns...? And why was it so loud? He threw his arm over to shut it off with a groan, groping blindly for it-- until he felt the painful stabs of Marc's little tiny cactus as his hand landed full-force on the table.

"OW! Fuck! Bloody hell!" Steven held his injured hand to his chest as he slowly, cautiously sat up, watching for any more dangers nearby. You were nowhere in sight, but he heard the shower running, so he figured you probably hadn't heard him. Blinking his grogginess away, he looked about and found that the cactus had indeed been moved from its place in the window. “What the...”

“Good morning,” Marc said, eerily calm, within the headspace. Steven leaned over to see him frowning in the reflection of his phone screen. Steven was filled with sudden and utter certainty that it was Marc who moved the damn cactus.

“Morning,” Steven answered warily, only to jump when Jake spoke.

“Buenos Dias, amigo. How you feelin’?”

Steven cautiously stood from the bed, eyes scanning for any sort of further traps hidden about. “I-I’m doing just fine.”

“Excellent,” Marc responds, weirdly soft, and it isn’t until Steven sees his own fist flying at his face that he realizes Marc is pissed off for some reason.

“Oh, shit!” He cries, the force of the impact making him fall backward and cradle his face with his uninjured hand. “Bloody— what the hell, Marc?!”

Jake fought a laugh, turning it into a snort. “Well, hombré, Marc’s always been protective of Y/N...”

“Y/N...” Steven groans as he attempts sitting up, wary of his own limbs. “W-what?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Marc snapped. “What happened last night?”

Steven froze, and after a second he was blushing up his neck and straight to his hairline, like a flustered cartoon character. “Uh... Um... I-I don’t think that that’s any of your business, Marc.”

“You don’t know how to be rough, Steven,” Marc scolded, as if speaking to a child. Steven frowned; he knows how protective Marc is of you, he should’ve expected this. “You left her covered in bruises like Jake had had a night with her!”

“Gracías.”

“I’ve never—”

Steven interrupted with a genuine laugh as he finished standing. “You think that’s really the first time, mate?” Silence greeted him, which is exactly what he wanted. Steven shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t even begin to tell you how many times one of you has woken up to her covered in marks and assumed it was the other, cutting me completely out of the equation. I figured I’d keep quiet about it, since that’s private, but that doesn’t really matter now, does it?”

Marc and Jake remained stunned into silence. Jake mumbled to himself in Spanish, probably trying to figure out how many times he’s thought Marc has roughed you up when it’s been Steven. Marc stared at him with wide eyes from the reflection of the fish tank. “Wow, buddy. I uh... never really figured you for the type.”

“I wasn’t,” Steven answered as he made his way to the bathroom door. “Y/N... She helped me get confident enough to be that way with her.” He shot his reflection a timid smile that Marc couldn’t believe had dealt so many bites to their girl’s thighs. “I always take care of her, bruv. You don’t have to worry.”

As he entered the bathroom, he felt Marc and Jake retreating into the headspace, allowing him some sense of privacy with you– although Marc was a little reluctant to do so. Jake snorted at his alter’s hesitance, urging him deeper into the headspace and away from Steven. “It’s happened before, hombré.”

Marc tore his arm from Jake’s grasp roughly, huffing. “Yeah, but… Just not used to it. Steven’s… Steven’s the calm one.”

Jake shrugged. “Yeah, well…”

In the bathroom, Steven splashed cold water onto his face to wake himself up after painstakingly removing each of the cactus’s spines with tweezers. Hearing his little grunts of pain, you poked your head around the shower curtain and smiled. “Morning, Steven.”

Steven smiled softly at the sight of your scrub-reddened face and dripping hair. “‘Ello, love,” He breathed, turning to face you directly instead of looking at you through the mirror. “Mornin.’”

Your brows furrow in confusion and worry. “What happened to your hand?”

Steven shook his head, tugging his shirt over his head. “Nothing serious, darling. Marc just playing a prank on me.” As far as he was concerned, you didn’t need to know that his alters had figured out your activities from last night. That was, as he’d said, private. For as long as it could be, anyway. They’d know the details eventually, probably.

Your eyebrows jumped to your hairline, eyes still focused on the sink even as he stepped out of his sweatpants. “Uh… are those cactus spines?”

Steven sighed heavily. “Yeah.”

You snorted to disguise laughter, reaching forward to take his hand and inspect it. Luckily it seemed not many of the spines had pricked deep enough to bleed very badly, leaving his hand only sore and not as maimed as it had at first felt. “Why?”

“Got me. He’s a sodding ass, that’s why.”

“Aw,” You pecked his lips. “Boys, stop being mean to each other.” Steven smiled broadly at your consideration, always including all of the alters even if they couldn’t hear you. He returned your kiss and tapped your side.

“Move over, love. Let me in there with you, yeah? I’ve gotta go to work.”

Eagerly, you stepped aside and allowed him to enter the shower with you; morning showers were a peaceful little thing you both enjoyed. It was a way to spend some extra time together before you both had to leave for work, although the time you spent washing each other was interrupted with snuck kisses and long skin-to-skin embraces, especially after a night like that.

You hummed as Steven hugged you from behind, pressing a kiss to your shoulder before nuzzling into your neck. “Love you,” He whispered.

“Love you too,” You responded in a tone that mimicked his.

Steven reached for the shampoo. “I know you probably already have, but can I wash your hair real quick, love?”

You tilt your head back a little for him, touched that he found washing your hair so relaxing; though if you were honest, you could say the same about him. “Of course, Steven.”

Turning in his arms to face him, you let him put some in your hands before you spent the morning washing each other’s hair and sneaking kisses under the hot water.

———

“Honey, I’m home!” You called dramatically as you entered your shared flat with the boys. As you kicked your shoes off, you paused thoughtfully, amused with your own crappy jokes. “Or, is it, honeys? Honeys? Yes, I believe so. Honeys, I’m home!”

You all but skipped around the corner to find Marc— because from the way he was standing and dressed, and his hair, he was clearly Marc— grinning at you mischievously from behind the counter. “Hey, baby.”

“Hey…” You said warily, glancing around for any sign of a trap. “...What is it?”

“Nothin,’” he answered, which was very much code for “something.”

“Uh-huh,” You said, entirely unconvinced.

“Jake and I got you something,” Marc said. Here your concern grew exponentially, and at the narrowing of your eyes, Marc laughed and shook his head. “No, it’s nothing bad.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t know what happened last night between you and Steven—“ you flushed at the memory, unbidden heat rising in your face. Steven’s been dominant before with your help— giving him pointers or leading him on, or even allowing him to watch how Marc and Jake do it— but never so filthy on his own. You wonder if it had something to do with his suit. “But he’s been pouting all day.”

…….

Wait what?

“Pouting?” Your voice comes out whinier than you’d meant it too. Hadn’t you been a good girl for him? Hadn’t he enjoyed it? He’d seemed to be just fine with it last night, more than, and you’re wondering where you went wrong.

“Not because of you, sweetheart,” Marc promised. “At least, nothing you did. More of what you didn’t do.”

You set your things on the counter between you both, concerned and confused. “What didn’t I do?”

Marc reached down and grabbed something before tossing it onto the counter. Curiously, you picked it up, eyebrow jerking up when you realized what it was. “Lube?”

“For the batons,” Marc answered with a suggestive wink, and then his expression glassed over. You were left with a surprised Steven as Marc departed into the headspace, and his expression grew only more confused as the seconds passed on. “You… don’t want the body? Either of you?” He prodded incredulously, brows furrowed. “...You’re tired? Both of you at once?”

He looked at you and shrugged. “Oh, well. More time with you, then, darling.” He leaned across the counter to peck your lips. “Welcome home, love. How was your day?”

“Good,” You preened at him, flushing and beaming all over the place. Hidden behind your back was the bottle of lube. “Yours?”

“Bloody terrible,” He huffed, hanging his head. “I don’t wanna talk about it... I am gonna take a shower, though, get out of these bloody jeans Marc insists on wearing.”

“Okay,” You chirped, “I’ll wait for you.”

Steven absentmindedly nodded as you made your way to the bedroom. You waited until you heard the water running before opening the closet and grabbing the box of toys that Steven kept in there— each of the boys had one, and his was smaller and less full, but it did contain something very integral for intimacy between the two of you: the strap-on.

Marc hadn’t wanted to use it yet, and Jake had only rarely; it was Steven who couldn’t get enough of it. You were surprised when he’d shyly asked you if you could try it one day, and he’d loved it so much that he was honestly embarrassed about it at first. Now he wasn’t, though, encouraged by you as he was.

You set it on the bed next to the lube— it was the most recent of strap-ons that had been collected, because despite how small he started with, he wants more every time. The strap-on you selected is almost big enough to rival his own endowments, and it hasn’t been used yet. It’s perfect. You wondered if he’d let you wear the Mr. Knight suit...

No, you didn’t want to overwhelm him. After all, Steven was only just recently getting used to the idea of being dominant with you. Asking to wear his suit might just make him cum on the spot if he sees the strap-on and lube on the bed, too. You can save that for another time.

You’ve only just finished changing– or really, just taking off your clothes until you’re in your bra and underwear– when the water shuts off; Steven’s showers, when he’s not in there with you, are usually quick, so you’re not surprised. He comes out a few moments later, wearing those gray sweatpants and the warm black sweater you love to snuggle him in. His newly-parted hair is still dripping a little as he carries the used towels over to the laundry baskets, passing by the doorway without a second glance.

You smirk, biting your lip to try and stifle a snicker. “Love, have you seen my glasses?” You hear him ask, and you do snort this time.

“No, why?”

“I wanted to do some reading,” he responds, and you recognize the sounds of him throwing some laundry in. Oh boy. Steven. You sweet thing. Didn’t even notice. “I just got this amazing new book from the library– you were right, love, I should’ve been using it the whole time! A ton of new books came in!” From your place on the bed, you listen as he starts up the washer and dryer, eyes following him as he makes his way to the kitchen. “But this one I’m really excited about is all about the Ennead– you know, the supergroup of Egyptian gods?” He pours what sounds like, tea, or coffee… “Nine gods, all of them kind of in charge all at once I suppose. Horus, Osiris, Tefnut– hey, I wonder if… Now Khonshu’s never mentioned him, but…” Finally, he starts to come around the corner and into the bedroom, holding the cups of tea. “I wonder if Apophis is causing any kind of trouble these days. Wouldn’t that be wick– bloody fucking hell–” At seeing you sitting on the bed desperately trying to stifle your laughter into your hand, he quite literally halts in his tracks and drops the tea to the floor, wide eyes focused on your all-but-naked body.

“Hi,” You giggled.

He shook his head, trying to hide his own smile. “You little minx, you. Lettin’ me go on like that, instead of telling me to come straight to bed…”

Poor baby. He still hasn’t noticed the strap-on sitting next to you. Steven comes to stand at the edge of the bed, and you come to meet him on your knees, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands find your waist as he kisses you passionately, licking as deep into your mouth as he can go–

–then he notices.

His brow furrows and he pulls back slightly. “I-Is that what I think it is?” He’s already breathless, and you haven’t done more than kiss.

Feigning innocence, you glance over your shoulder before smiling at him. “Why, yes. Yes it is.” He swallowed hard, his addam’s apple jerking in his throat. His eyes, lust-blown, flick from the strap-on to you with an almost feral want. You can feel his hardness pressing against your stomach, and you can’t stifle a giggle– Marc was right. Apparently Steven was needy today. You card your fingers through his curls, making him shudder. “Tell me what you want, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you.”

Steven manages a stuttering gasp. “I-I need you. Please.”

“Aw,” You laugh, “Steven, you don’t need to beg. But I do wanna ask you something, first.”

“Of course,” He answered, like he wasn’t trying to keep from grinding his hips against you. “A-anything.”

“Can… Can I use your batons? On you?”

Steven’s never looked more shocked. His eyebrow lifts so that it almost disappears behind the curls dangling over his forehead, mouth hanging open a little. “M-my batons? Like how I used them on you last night?”

“Yeah,” You said, a little awkwardly. “I mean, you can totally say no if you don’t want to, I don’t want you to think you have to–”

He interrupted you by capturing your mouth with his in a desperate kiss that only lasted, really, long enough to shut you up. “I guess it’s only fair, right? I did use them on you, after all.”

“Steven,” You scold lightly, “I don’t want you to do this because you think it’s unfair if you don’t. You can say no.”

“Yeah, well–” He lifted you up and threw you onto the bed, making a slight yelp of surprise slip out of your throat, quickly followed by your laughter. “Maybe I don’t want to say no.” He flicked his arms and his batons shot out of his sleeves, into his hands. He paused in handing them to you, noticing how you were looking at him. “...What?”

“Steven?”

“Yes?”

“You whipping a couple of batons out of your pajamas should not be ridiculously sexy. Remind me to add that to the ever-growing list of kinks you boys have inspired in me.”

Steven burst into deep laughter, doubling over to bury his face in the crook of your neck, his arms wrapping around your torso to hug you. You laughed even harder then, as he rolled over onto his back and pulled you with him. Eventually, your laughter slowed to a halt as you hovered over him, a hand on either side of his head. His eyes sparkled with adoration, a hand coming up to caress your cheek. “Look at that smile, dove. You’re so beautiful.”

You gently pulled on a couple of his damp curls. “You’re pretty too, Steven.”

He hummed, leaning up to kiss you in that filthy, dirty way that meant he was done with being all soft and cuddly for the moment. “Yeah, alright. You gonna fuck me now or what?” You giggled again, making him suppress a chuckle. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” You managed, “Just remembering the first time you tried to say something like that. All stuttering and blushing. You said that just now without thinking twice.”

He nuzzled into the side of your face with a smile, hands running up and down your sides. “That’s ‘cause I’ve got you on top of me, darling.” He nipped at your ear, spurring you into action. You sat back, making him groan triumphantly as you purposefully set your weight onto his growing erection. “Finally–”

You pushed his hands over his head when he reached for you. “Uh-uh.”

“Wha– but, love–” He reached for you again with a whine, and you just repeated the gesture with an amused smile.

“No. Be a good boy and keep your hands up.” Steven growled and looked like he was meaning to try and grab you again. That’s the thing about domming Steven– he was always such a brat. Yes, he wanted nothing more than to please you, but when you were fucking him, he showed a bratty, whiny side that was rare for you to see. “You want me to tie you up?”

He narrowed his eyes. “...No.”

“Want me to fuck you?” You asked, as innocently as that sentence can possibly be uttered.

He fixed you with a hungry look that you could have mistaken for Marc, or even Jake, if you didn’t know how Steven reacted to this kind of thing. When he didn’t respond immediately, you bit your lip and shifted so that you were able to grind on his lap. He threw his head back into the pillows, fisting into the cases and ensuring there was no way in hell they’d ever return to their original shape. “Yes! Please, yes!”

“Good boy,” You chirped as you hopped off of him, pretending to ignore his whine at the loss of contact. You picked up one of his batons, mouth falling open at how heavy it was. “Oh, hell, Steven–” He immediately sat up, sensing your tone was serious. “These are… really heavy. I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Steven smiled, reaching over to knead your hip– getting away with moving, in his own sneaky little way. “Aw, love, you won’t hurt me; I promise I’ll tell you if it gets to be too much, yeah? We’ll use the color system. I’ll say red if I need to.”

“You damn well better,” You snorted, testing the weight of the baton in your hand… and getting an idea for a little... practice. You lifted your head and shot him a grin. “Open your mouth.”

“Oh?” Steven chuckled, tickling your sides a little. “You’re a naughty little minx, aren’t you?”

“Learned from the best,” You quipped, and despite the flush dusting his tawny cheeks, he did open his mouth for you. You lifted the baton– careful of his teeth, however– and slowly slid it into his mouth, very carefully. When you hit his gag reflex by accident and he choked, you started to pull back, not liking the horrible sound he emitted as it hit the back of his throat, or the fact that his whole face screwed up from the impact even at such a slow pace. “Sorry–!” You jumped when his hand shot to your wrist, grabbing hold of it and stopping you. His eyes snapped open, fixing you with a stern, hungry glare that said don’t even think about it. “But, Steven–” He then, quite literally, growled. With his free hand, he lifted up three fingers– the signal, for when words couldn’t be used, for green. Keep going.

“You sure?” You ask, just to be certain. He nods as well as he can around the baton, bracing himself for you to move. A part of you wants to remove his hand from your wrist, tell him to be a good boy and not touch you, but this way, he can help control the pace, help you lift the heavy baton and keep from hurting him. You let him help you slide the baton back and forth as he bobs his head with a soft moan that goes straight to your core, his eyes shutting– your eyes flick down and you swat his hand away from his crotch with your free hand. “Easy, sweet boy. I’ll do that part.”

Steven gasped, moaning even louder when you started to palm him through his sweats. His hips rock into your touch, until his whole body is moving against your ministrations. His loud, obscene moans are at a point beyond pornographic, music to your ears as you bring him to the edge. As his hips pick up speed against you, he sucks in his cheeks and pulls on the baton, distracting you from his hands slipping into your underwear. By the time you realize it, you can’t deny him, hissing as his fingers slip through your slick folds. He groans deep in his chest, breathing becoming rapid as he tries to stave off his release until you reach yours. You accidentally choke him when he presses two fingers into you, pumping them in and out of your drenched heat and curling them against our G-spot with almost painful ferocity.

He cums first; gagging against the baton as he shoots ropes of his release into his pants, soaking them completely. His hips stutter as he grinds into your hand, riding out his high, before curling his fingers in such a way that you fly over that edge yourself with a wild cry. Once you’ve both calmed, the post-orgasm afterglow still clinging to your bodies, you slowly remove the baton from his mouth as he pulls his fingers out of you, resting his hands on your hips. His eyes are red, tears streaming down his face and lips wet and swollen. “You okay?” You ask softly, worried you’d hurt him.

“I’m–” He gags with a shudder, swallowing hard and blinking rapidly. “I’m aces. Just aces. Promise, love.” His voice is hoarse; you wouldn’t be surprised if he needs to have a couple of slushies later. They always help his throat if he’s been sucking the strap-on, so why not a baton? He nuzzled into your neck, huffing out soft breaths as he guides your hand back to his crotch, where he was already hardening again. “Love…” He whined against your skin, unclipping your bra.

You ran your fingers through his soaking hair. “Such a good boy,” you coo, “Ready for me to open you up with this? Get you ready for me?”

“Yeah,” He whispered, breath hitching as you tugged his shirt off. “Lemme just… Take my bottoms off, yeah?” As he stripped off his pants and boxers, you lubed up the baton, frowning as you tested the sharpness of the edges. You turned to see Steven standing there in all his golden naked glory, lit from the setting sun and looking for all the world like an Egyptian prince.

“Hey there, pharaoh,” You purred, and Steven flushed as he climbed onto the bed beside you. “Lay back, sweetheart. I’m gonna take care of you– promise you’ll tell me if it hurts.”

“Promise,” Steven panted, eagerly doing as you asked. You crawled on top of him, gasping when he took hold of your hips and situated you so that you were straddling his thigh, your folds meeting his bare skin. He shot you a bashful smile. “You need to get off too, love.” You leaned down and pecked his lips– Steven was always so sweet and considerate, even now.

You tapped his knees, urging him to spread his legs. Bracing yourself on his shoulder, you teased his entrance with the lubed end of the baton, making him gasp. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” He breathed, already rocking against you– it’s almost like he’s bouncing in excitement, and you can’t help but giggle as you start to slip the baton into him. He groans deep, throwing his head back. “O-oh– agh–”

“This okay?”

“So good,” Steven groaned, holding on tightly to your upper arms as he tried to rock on the baton. “So good, keep going, keep going– agh–” It wasn’t long before you’d “bottomed out” the baton so to speak. He cried out, shifting his whole body up and down on the sliver of metal with a silent scream, eyes rolling back. “Oh, love, it– agh, unh–” His head fell back as you pumped the baton in and out of him, jaw moving like a fish gasping for air as he grunted and groaned and urged you to go faster. With one hand, he stroked his throbbing red-purple length, and his other squeezed your breasts as you ground your heat against his thigh.

You were a little ashamed to say that the sight of him so pretty and needing and spread out before you turned you on to such a point that you were cumming hard, drenching his thigh in your juices– but as you descended from your high, you realized you’d all but stopped moving the baton. Steven bucked his hips into you desperately, letting out a whine. “P-please love, please don’t stop–”

“You want me to use the strap-on now, sweet thing?”

“Y-yeah, let’s do that,” He panted, letting out a cry when you slid the baton from him. Hurriedly, he helped you to strap the toy to your hips, letting you turn him around so that he’s on his hands and knees before you sink into him. The pressure in his stomach, the stretch he was unaccustomed to, the sensation of being so full– he yelped in a combination of surprise, pain, and pleasure, groaning when you gently started thrusting tentatively. “Oh, baby, faster, faster faster faster–”

His arms gave out, and he buried his face in the pillows as your hips snapped into his relentlessly. One hand was in your eyesight, fisting in the pillows beside where he bit down to try and stifle his groans, and the other was furiously pumping his length. He moaned your name repeatedly, voice catching and breaking in his sore throat. His groans grew louder, less coherent, until he suddenly, with a loud yell, came harder than he had in awhile, covering the sheets in his release. Slowly, he collapsed onto his stomach, all in his mess, gasping as you pulled out.

You tossed the strap-on to the side before guiding his boneless body to the bath, where you ran some warm water for the both of you. It was only after sitting there for several minutes that he noticed you staring at him with a knowing smile on your face. “...What?” He managed roughly.

“So how long were you there?” You challenged, raising an eyebrow. “Marc?”

“Huh?” His dark eyes widened. Within the headspace, Jake and Steven started miming paying up on bets. “I-I don’t–”

You crossed your arms haughtily, tilting your chin up. “First of all, Steven’s more of a brat.”

“Hey,” Steven protested weakly from within the headspace, knowing full well you couldn’t hear him. “...Actually, she’s right.”

“Second of all,” You continued, “Steven doesn’t call me baby. Never has. Jake hasn’t either. That’s a you thing.”

Marc sat there, for a second, stunned, and then blinked rapidly as if you’d splashed cold water on his face. “...Oh shit…”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, peppering kisses along his jaw and temple. “Aw, baby, if you wanted it like that, why didn’t you just ask?”

“Okay…” He sighed, resting his chin on top of your head so that you couldn’t see his blush. “So I’m not the type of guy who can just ask his girl to fuck him like that. So what?”

“Did Steven know you planned this?” You chuckled, realizing he must have heard details of last night’s events from Steven and used it to his advantage.

“No,” He answered honestly. “Jake did. I uh…”

“You should have seen the way he fucking begged to take the body, princesa,” Jake chuckled within the headspace. Joining him was Steven’s disgruntled, “You’re just lucky I’d already gotten off, mate.”

“I asked,” Marc specified, loudly enough so that he could hear himself over his inputting alters, “I asked if I could… have the body while you used the strap-on.” He mumbled the last bit of his sentence, hurrying it along, but you smirked, hearing it nonetheless. You sat back to look into his eyes, smiling at the flush adorning the apples of his cheeks when he couldn’t help but copy your little grin.

“You like it?” You knew the answer, of course, just from the way he’d acted. Marc Spector liked to be pegged, and you were just glad you were the one doing it.

Marc frowned at you. “...Do I really have to answer that?”

“No. The mess you made is proof enough.”

He frowned and blushed further, making you giggle and rub your nose against his. “Guess we’ll have to do that more often, huh?”

“Yeah,” He admitted softly, kissing your neck and rubbing your back. “I’ll repay the favor, babe. Just you wait.”

“Can’t wait, Spector,” you cooed, and although the rest of the evening was spent cuddling in the bathtub, cleaning up the sheets, and then cuddling in the bed, Marc was fully intending to make good on his promise to make it up to you.

The next day, following Jake’s advice, he went to the cabbie’s favorite sex store. “Trust me, hombré,” Jake said, almost menacingly, “She’ll be cumming so hard she’ll forget who she is.”

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Thanks for reading!

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[meimi-haneoka]

Hello, Cinzia! How are you doing? I have two things I wanted to talk to you about but first let me start by saying thank you for your translation correction posts! I have a habit of reading both translated and original Japanese versions side by side for comparison and my lord… the amount of errors the official translated version had is astounding. So thank you for having the fandom's back on that!

Okay so the first thing I wanted to talk about is the fandom's (understandable) disappointment over the conclusion chapter. But I have a theory on why this might feel disappointing. You see, I also happened to come from the Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire fandom and right now it has been 13 years since the release of the last book and everyone has been waiting patiently for it. In the mean time, the fandom has come up with A LOT (and I mean A LOT!!) of theories on how the characters are going to develop and eventually how the books are going to end. This is fun because it keeps the fandom alive. But the biggest con is that the theories are so wildly out there now that everyone deep down knows no one's gonna be satisfied with the ending the author will give us because we have extrapolated too much in this past decade. While we in the CCS fandom didn't have to wait that long, I still think a lot of us had come up with theories while waiting for the next release and maybe because we were basing them our past experiences with Tsubasa and xxxHolic, we assumed that was road to go. Personally, I loved the ending Clamp gave us. I always love a little open ending because then we get take that ending to our little sandbox and make our own stories. But best of all, if the story hasn't ended, IT MEANS WE HAVE A CHANCE TO SEE THEM AGAIN IN THE FUTURE :D!!! Isn't that exciting?? You're absolutely right about how the ending isn't going to please everyone. Because that's literature! The creators of The Matrix once said that art is never stagnant. People will come back to it years later and find something new to relate to and have a newfound love for it!

For my second thing I wanted to share!! As someone who grew up with CCS and now coming back to Clear Card as an adult who has gone through Life™️, I realize how much easier it was for me to pick up on the darker undertones of Clear Card. KAITO WAS NOT OKAY FROM THE TIME HE WAS INTRODUCED!! Like that boy had 10 different alarm bells ringing every time he spoke. And the thing that made me realize that is something from my own life experience. Akiho's past as an abused child is also very easy to pick up on and not something you need to read between the lines. Like it was RIGHT THERE! So idk why people deny that they had miserable lives. Kaito isn't a villain per se. He's an antihero. And even if he was (let's just say it for the sake of it), Clamp's villains are never one dimensional and the same goes for Kaito too. He just needed help. But coming back to my main point, I wonder if Clamp had intentionally gave us a more mature theme for Clear Card, knowing that most of their readers are going to be adults who grew up with the original CCS. The idea of "everything that I can and can't do make me who I am" is so IMPORTANT to remember!! The feeling of lack of self worth haunts all of us. There are many things that Sakura can't do either and that's okay because she has help. AND IT'S IMPORTANT TO ASK FOR HELP!! We cannot do everything on our own (looking at Kaito) and that's okay! This is how Syaoran shows his love too. He knows he is limited (as we all are) but there are things he can do to help Sakura. We always have to remember that because life isn't easy to go through alone. (knocks on Kaito's head)

I'm looking forward to future stories revolving our favorite gang. I wonder if Akiho will travel to meet Eriol some time too. Anyway, I feel like I have taken too much of your time. Thank you for everything you've done for the fandom and if you choose to reply to this message then thank you for that too! Have a nice day :D

Omg hello new follower!! Where were you hiding all this time?? 😂😂 I LOVED receiving your ask and it brightened my day, thank you very much!! See, people, this is someone who gets it 👍 (as I know all my affectionate readers do!! I just need to show off all of you because, among the sea of complaints, the fandom needs to see that there are ALSO lots of people out there who understood Clear Card correctly, and it's not a nonsense story to everyone like they think it is).

Your first point is absolutely logical and I also think that's one of the reasons why the "final" chapter wasn't going to satisfy each and everyone in the fandom: that was just plain impossible from the get go, but adding all that you so cleverly explained here, yeah it was just bound to happen all the more. I still think, though, that if you paid attention, understood the story and the characters correctly along the way, the theories that you as a fan could've think of weren't going to be that far from what actually happened. I managed to foresee a lots of events (some more precisely, some less precisely, some I did completely accidentally) and that's not because I have powers or because I paid CLAMP for it 😂😂 but just because I "listened" to what the story, or rather, what CLAMP were trying to tell me through the story. I picked up the signs and for the most part didn't let them trick me with the red herrings, and even when I made theories I always kept quite "flexible" in case canon didn't go that way (there's also plenty of stuff that didn't go as I thought). The only thing I was always sure about is that this would have had a happy ending. For the all the characters. And yes, open endings can be a present to the fandom, especially the creative one! Moreover, it's an easy way to get back into the series later, in case they want to continue it.

And for the second point....oooh, I know. I KNOW. God, it's always been so clear, especially when they started to show his past as a kid and the fact that he fed himself energetic bars as a "meal"? Or when they said that everything tasted the same to him? That's beyond messed up for a kid and it was immediately clear that he had enormous problems behind that smily mask that he was showing to everyone. Those are clear symptom of depression and god only knows the degree of abandonment Kaito lived in, in his childhood. The fact that he was literally snapped up by an Association of criminals doesn't mean that they intended to raise him or that they were interested in his wellbeing.

The people who deny that Akiho and Kaito had a childhood made of abuse only do so because if they didn't, then they would feel forced to feel empathy and pity for them (lest they appear as insensitive), and they don't want to, because they had already decided they were obnoxious, malicious and unwanted characters a long time ago. Cause their background of abuse is very very clear, especially for Akiho. It's spelled out clearly multiple times. They couldn't go further than what they did because it would've been too jarring for a story like CCS (and I've seen the disturbed comments of a part of the JP fandom, already as it is).

So yeah, Kaito is an antihero at best, or a "reluctant villain", a trope I have seen once in a post on instagram. It fitted him completely. He villainized himself towards everyone else (Sakura & Co.) in order to achieve his only goal, even if that wasn't really in his nature. But he did, for Akiho's sake.

And yes yes yes to all the rest that you've said!! One of the most important lessons we got from Clear Card is that it's important to ask for help when you need it, that you shouldn't take everything on your shoulder......and if you notice that a friend is struggling, don't ignore them but extend a helping hand, cause they probably don't have the strength to ask for help.

I also really hope that we can see our favorite gang in the future, and I keep in my heart a little hope to see Akiho/Kaito/Momo in Holic too!!

Thank you so much for this ask and I hope you'll enjoy the rest of my posts!! 😁❤️

[dot-hpg]

Um so it's Family Time for the holidays and of course that means I can't stop thinking abt this wip. Wrote it all very fast ages ago and never got further because hurting them is so much easier than making it feel better after (im sorry)

So here's some proof that I still go here with some lovely hypervigilance induced panic :))) I want to add more and maybe I'll post it on ao3 when I do, but this one was so personal that I had to not look at it for months after I spilled it all in a night and I still don't know how to fix it

it's basically Joey and a panic attack + mentioned bad past home life, and I promise his friends want to help but the comfort doesn't really show up yet. I just wanted to post it idk

word count 1k

enjoy ??

[break]

Joey knows. He knows he’s safe now. He knows he isn’t back there. He’s at Corey’s, and he hasn’t been There in a long while. Doesn’t have to go there ever again.

He knows his friends, and he knows they know. Knows they’ll protect him, as they have before.

They would never hurt him, no matter how angry they get. They sort their problems out differently. I mean, they’re still a rowdy bunch and he knows that it can get loud. He knows that doesn’t always have to mean fear. He’s learnt that, with them.

So he knows he’s safe in a bed that feels more his own than his last one, even if it’s in Corey’s house. And he knows he should have nothing to fear.

But right now, he’s woken up to the sound of raised voices, and that side of his brain hasn’t even had the time to blink. The noises are straight down his spine, tugging his eyes open and pulling the wires in his muscles.

No time to rationalise, it’s all how his body trained itself without him even noticing.

The sounds that yanked him from sleep by the scruff of his neck clamour in his ears. They’re from beyond these walls, but somehow that makes it so much worse, because he’s just waiting for them to arrive here, not knowing what the problem is yet but knowing something is happening and he has to keep alert. Try to prepare.

It’s still dark so maybe they’ll think he’s asleep: check. Gotta keep that up by staying still. Quiet.

Which is sort of difficult. If his body wanted to be practical and keep him laying low from the danger, why is it simultaneously sending shocks of panic that won’t let him rest? He’s struggling to catch his breath before he’s even started holding it, oh my god they’re going to hear him-

He draws his knees to his chest, desperate to shrink. Pushes his face into knees and pillow, gasping short breaths, wishing his lungs would just stop altogether.

A shaking hand fists the duvet, itching to pull it over his head. But he has to keep an ear out, and his breathing is making it bad enough. Bad enough that each sound of voices feels half like it’s from his imagination. It’s through a wall after all, and he always breathes at the wrong second and it drowns it out so maybe the person behind the voice is calmer than he hears it, distorted until its shrieking echo has him rocking.

He's rocketed straight from sleep into a hyperventilating mess, each sound another jolt of white hot fear through him.

He doesn’t feel safe. He’s in a room but it doesn’t feel like his, even the duvet piled around his frame leaves him feeling exposed.

It’s not Corey’s house anymore. He doesn’t know, or stop to think, about whose house it is, because the feeling is the same. The lack of control, the wishing you could scream back or lock the door, and that it would somehow keep them out.

But there’s nothing he can do to stop it, stop them.

He’s been waiting for the footsteps, and when they come it’s like everything rushes to him at once. His hands bound, dropped into a nightmare. You can close your eyes and wish and wish because every step closer feels wrong and you don’t want someone who makes you feel like that any closer, someone who poisons the air with their wavering voice and puffy eyes.

But that won’t stop the slam of the door or the moment they step over, when that voice snaps and cuts. And you have to take it. Even though you can’t.

Because this is their house, and their walls will always reel you in to a distance they can grab. A distance they can leer at you with their hands around your throat.

They’ll keep you in arm’s reach too, so they can ask you why you’re overreacting. Why you’re still upset. Why the waterworks, huh, just come here. Come here come here and the walls don’t budge so you can’t say no even though you don’t want to touch them-

“Joey?”

Nononono he doesn’t know what he’s done. He can’t remember at all, his mind’s grey and body’s locking him in. He’s shaking, but he can’t break out. There’s nowhere to go anyway. He battens down the hatches and waits for what’s coming, the bullets to break through the holes that never healed from the last time.

“Shit, Joe-”

The voice is quieter, but closer.

Joey’s paralysed for a blink, short-circuiting with the panic of not wanting anyone closer, before his legs manage some kind of miracle. They feel robotic, but manage to shove him back and into the corner. The jerky movement forces a whimper from his mouth, squeezing its way between his stunted breaths.

He stubbornly tugs his blanket up around him. Refuses to look up, though his jaw clenches from the feeling of someone getting nearer.

And he doesn’t want to look up because that sounded like Corey. Someone who shouldn’t be this scary, but here Joey still is, fighting with the air he’s breathing and whining like a fucking baby.

He wants to press his hand against his mouth, but he makes it stay put, curling so tightly into the blanket he can feel his nails through it, digging at his palm. He bites down on his lip, bites down on everything. He’s already beating himself up for not getting a lid on it, but pressing it down only makes the pressure shoot out through any crack it can find.

His body’s fighting back, he can’t help it. Can’t help the shaking of his muscles, which tighten, crunch him up smaller.

The bed dips and that’s when he knows he’s too far gone. Slipping down that chasm where it feels like no way out, just panic driving itself and dragging him along for the ride. Swallowing him right back to places he never wants to go back to.

He doesn’t want to be There, but he can’t open his eyes either. Maybe it would help – so why isn’t he fucking doing it?

His breath is noisy through his clenched teeth, but it doesn’t feel like it reaches anywhere near his lungs.

It nearly drowns it out.

“…to me, Joey. Listen. No one’s angry, yeah? Can you hear me?”

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Seeing Kix's last ever live show Part 2- the show

So yes, I drove 3 hours to Columbia, MD just to get my heart brutally torn to pieces and left in the rain. By the time Kix actually came on the alcohol i chugged started to hit (it took like an HOUR) and it made me wanna scream at all the photographers to go fuck themselves

TL;DR- it was underwhelming?

they opened with Atomic Bombs- which was bittersweet I guess but I love it when they open with Hot Wire the most

seeing Ronnie made me so happy

since my seat was literally as far to stage left as you could go, the concrete steps were right next to me, as was a rail, and i could stand on the concrete and hold onto the rail and go nuts

that is until a security person told me to stop fgeoirngerngfdnd

in the moment i had fun but as soon as the moment was over it was back to heartache

Steve never opened up his shirt which was disappointing

when they did Midnite Dynamite there were BIG COLUMNS OF FIRE ??? SHOOTING OUT FROM THE HUGE HIGH UP PLATFORM THEY HAD ?? I was at least 30-40 feet away from it and i could FEEL THE HEAT

same thing goes for huge spark fountains (except for the heat part)

they did three medleys of obscure songs (but I'm gonna be honest I didn't recognize most of them)

the first medley, they did Body Talk and as soon as they started playing it, Steve stuck his finger down his throat like he was trying to make himself puke from hearing it rtgnnsadiofifearf

every medley was basically Steve judging the songs on whether he likes them or not it was funny

seeing the girl money glasses for the last time ugh concerts will never be the same if they're not kix

Steve always leads up to Scarlet Fever with "this song is about dirty diseases" or something like that, and he said something about "you gotta wear a condom to not get those diseases but condoms are no fun right they're just not fun"

the Itch and the crowd singalong and Steve always picking on people never ever fails to crack me up

when they played For Shame, Steve walked into the crowd and walked around and shook people's hands and gave hugs and stuff and the second he started singing while doing this i fucking lost it and tears were running down my face it was so bittersweet it was like he was trying to thank every individual person

idk why I always forget about Cold Shower when it's like the sluttiest of all slut songs

Ronnie did the guitar solo leading up to Cold Blood and I'm sorry Ronnie but I'm used to Bob and I like Bob's solo better but seeing Ronnie finally in the place where he was supposed to be this whole time was bittersweet

big balloons falling from the ceiling

confetti cannons and one not going off until the next song

Steve doing more jumping than normal during Blow My Fuse

i wish Steve did the full feature length Yeah Yeah Yeah monologue

^^that was their last song

i always forget how much steve says "aiight"

when their set was done, Steve introduced some people in their crew and management

when everyone walked offstage, and really only steve was left, he imitated Porky Pig and went "t-tha-th-that's all, folks!" and left the stage.

imo the setlist could've been a lot better bc a lot of their hard-hitters were cut (like Hot Wire, Same Jane, Kix Are For Kids, Sex, etc) but i guess the medleys were more important. The show also felt really short? It was under 2 hours and imo the whole thing felt really underwhelming, like I was expecting a huge extra long super exciting show but this was like... below average? Like yeah there were more stage effects and two guest members and three medleys but- it just didn't make it feel any more special than a normal Kix show, yknow? It almost felt like they were in a hurry to finish (the set feeling quick made it feel like this, not their actual performance. In fact- this entire rushed retirement seemed like they were in a hurry to retire...).

I don't know if it's because I wasn't at the barrier like I always am for Kix or the fact I had my heartbreak on pause or what, but to me it just felt really underwhelming? I went back to my hotel afterwards feeling similar to how i felt in my hotel after the last night of M3; dumped.

I'm still in shock that it's all over, and that it ended this way- with absolute silence and a soul-crushing shame. I can't ever forget the fun I've had with Kix over the past year, though. I just wish to god it had ended differently.

EDIT: I was trying to kill Mark with my mind last night. Tried to shoot lasers from my eyes. When he walked offstage he walked in my direction and I glared at him as hard as I could. I knew he couldn't see me, let alone recognize me, but he was looking in my direction.

EDIT #2: after steve walked through the crowd and went back on the stage, he said "that was fun. i hope none of yall have herpes *wipes hand on his shirt* I got that when it first came out!!"

[legion1227]

Every album I listened to in 2022: Ranked!

132. Yeat- Lyfe  (1/5)          (Terrible) 131. Yung Lean- Stardust (1/5) 130. NLE Choppa- Me vs Me (1.5/5)       (Awful) 129. Swedish House Mafia- Paradise Again (1.5/5) 128. Pi'erre Bourne- Good Movie (1.5/5) 127. Jack Harlow- Come Home, The Kids Miss You   (1.5/5) 126. Avril Lavigne- Love Sux  (2/5)     (Bad/Not Good) 125. RZA Presents: Bobby Digital and the Pit of Snakes (2/5) 124. Skylar Grey- Skylar Grey   (2/5) 123. Nickelback- Get Rollin   (2/5) 122. Arcade Fire- We    (2/5) 121. Jack White- Entering Heaven Alive    (2/5) 120. Panic! At the Disco- Viva Las Vengeance   (2/5) 119. 070 Shake- You can't Kill Me   (2/5) 118. Chris Brown- Breezy    (2/5) 117. Kelly Clarkson- Kellyoke   (2/5) 116. Skillet- Dominion    (2/5) 115. Jack White- Fear of the Dawn  (2/5) 114. Diplo- Diplo   (2/5) 113. Red Hot Chili Peppers- Unlimited Love   (2/5) 112. Snoop Dogg- From Tha Streets 2 Tha Suites   (2/5) 111. Weezer- SZNZ: Spring   (2/5) 110. Three Days Grace- Explosions   (2/5) 109. King Von- What it means to be a king   (2/5) 108. John Legend- LEGEND      (2.5/5)   (Fine) 107. Train- AM Gold        (2.5/5) 106. Death Cab for Cutie- Asphalt Meadows   (2.5/5) 105. Lil Baby- It's Only Me    (2.5/5) 104. Bbno$- Bag or Die   (2.5/5) 103. DJ Khaled- God Did   (2.5/5) 102. Calvin Harris- Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 2  (2.5/5) 101. Drake- Honestly, Nevermind     (2.5/5) 100. Future- I NEVER LIKED YOU  (2.5/5) 99. Youngboy- The Last Slimeto   (2.5/5) 98. The Game- Drillmatic   (2.5/5) 97. Lil Durk- 7220    2.5/5) 96. Dead South- Easy Listening for Jerks pt. 2  (2.5/5) 95. Allison Wonderland- Loner   (3/5)   (Okay) 94. Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Cool it Down   (3/5) 93. Steve Aoki- Hiroquest: Genesis   (3/5) 92. Roddy Ricch- Feed Tha Streets 3  (3/5) 91. 5 Seconds of Summer- 5SOSS5  (3/5) 90. Tove Lo- Dirt Femme   (3/5) 89. Simple Plan- Harder Than it Looks   (3/5) 88. BROCKHAMPTON- The Family  (3/5) 87. Sean Paul- Scorcha   (3/5) 86. Taylor Swift- Midnight  (3/5) 85. SZA- SOS   (3/5) 84. Mitski- Laurel Hell   (3/5) 83. Arctic Monkeys- The Car   (3/5) 82. Lumineers- Brightside   (3/5) 81. Burna Boy- Love, Damini   (3/5) 80. IDK- Simple  (3/5) 79. Quavo & Takeoff- Only Built for Infinity Links  (3/5) 78. Joji- Smithereens   (3/5) 77. 2 Chainz- Dope Don't Sell Itself  (3/5) 76. A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie- Me vs Myself  (3/5) 75. Ne-yo- Self Explanatory   (3/5) 74. Ozzy Osbourne- Patient Number 9 73. Red Hot Chili Peppers- Return of the Dream Canteen (3/5) 72. Yungblud- Yungblud    (3/5) 71. Blackbear- In Loving Memory  (3/5) 70. Michael Buble- Higher  (3/5) 69. The Weeknd- Dawn FM   (3/5) 68. Ari Lennox- age-sex/location  ( 3/5) 67. RuPaul- Mamru  (3.5/5)     (Good) 66. Snoop Dogg- BODR   (3.5/5) 65. Weezer- Van Weezer  (3.5/5) 64. Shinedown- Planet Zero   (3.5/5) 63. Goo Goo Dolls- Chaos in Bloom   (3.5/5) 62. Kehlani- Blue Water Road  (3.5/5) 61. Christina Perri- A Lighter Shade of Blue  (3.5/5) 60. Rex Orange County- Who Cares?   (3.5/5) 59. The 1975- Being Funny in a Foreign Language  (3.5/5) 58. K-Solo- Tell The World My Name   (3.5/5) 57. Maggie Rogers- Surrender  (3.5/5) 56. Carly Rae Jepsen- The Loneliest Time (3.5/5) 55. Palaye Royale- Fever Dream  (3.5/5) 54. Muse- Will of the People   (3.5/5) 53. Metro Boomin- Heroes & Villains  (3.5/5) 52. Harry Styles- Harry's House  (3.5/5) 51. Brent Faiyaz- Wasteland   (3.5/5) 50. Yung Gravy- Marvelous   (3.5/5) 49. Demi Lovato- HOLY FVCK  (3.5/5) 48. Billy Idol- The Cage   (3.5/5) 47. G Herbo- Survivor's Remorse  (3.5/5) 46. Beyonce- Renaissance   (3.5/5) 45. Ella Mai- Heart on My Sleeve  (3.5/5) 44. Willow- <COPINGMECHANISM>  (3.5/5) 43. Nas- King's Disease 3  (3.5/5) 42. Westside Gunn- Peace Fly God  (3.5/5) 41. Vince Staples- RAMONA PARK BROKE MY HEART  (3.5/5) 40. Korn- Requiem  (3.5/5) 39. Camilia Cabello- Familia  (3.5/5) 38. AWOLNATION- My Echo, My Shadow, My Covers, & Me  (3.5/5) 37. BROCKHAMPTON- Roadrunner: New Light, New Machine (3.5/5) 36. Marian Hill- Why can't we just pretend?  (3.5/5) 35. Sasha Alex Sloan- I Blame The World  (3.5/5) 34. Scorpions- Rock Believer  (3.5/5) 33. T.I.- Dime Trap  (3.5/5) 32. Mary J. Blige- Good Morning Gorgeous  (3.5/5) 31. Fivio Foreign- B.I.B.L.E  (3.5/5) 30. Bastille- Give Me The Future  (4/5)   (Great) 29. Logic- Vinyl Days  (4/5) 28. Charli XCX- Crash  (4/5) 27. Weezer- SZNZ: Summer  (4/5) 26. Lizzo- Special  (4/5) 25. Drake & 21 Savage- Her Loss  (4/5) 24. Lady of Rage- Necessary Roughness (4/5) 23. Florence and The Machine- Dance Fever   (4/5) 22. Westside Gunn- 10  (4/5) 21. Marina- Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land  (4/5) 20. Wiz Khalifa, Big KRIT, & Girl Talk- Full Court Press  (4/5) 19. Phife Dawg- Forever  (4/5) 18. Conway The Machine- God Don't Make Mistakes  (4/5) 17. Cordae- From a Bird's Eye View  (4/5) 16. Alter Bridge- Pawn & Kings  (4/5) 15. Halestorm- Back From The Dead  (4/5) 14. Joey Badass- 2000  (4/5) 13. Pusha T- It's Almost Dry  (4/5) 12. Conway The Machine- Greetings Earthlings  (4/5) 11. Lil Wayne- Sorry 4 The Wait  (4/5) 10. Killer Mike- R.A.P Music  (4/5) 9. Naughty By Nature- Naughty By Nature  (4/5) 8. J.I.D.- The Forever Story  (4.5/5)   (Amazing) 7. Sabaton- The War to End All Wars  (4.5/5) 6. Black Thought- Cheat Codes  (4.5/5) 5. Lupe Fiasco- Drill Music in Zion  (4.5/5) 4. Benny The Butcher- Tana Talk 4  (4.5/5) 3. Kendrick Lamar- Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers  (4.5/5) 2. Dead South- Easy Listening for Jerks pt. 1  (5/5)  (Perfect) 1. Czarface & MF DOOM- Super What?  (5/5)

[littlelonelytree]

So I translated song from the Lion King 2 from my language to english I guess

Here goes a long post I rhink:

I watched the Lion king II with my sister recently becasue we relized we don't exactly remember what was the plot about

I always loved every song that was in this movie. They are just so good in my opinion

Anyway, I started to wonder what they would sound in english (as I am clearly not an eglish speaker) so i checked it and I was suprised how much they were different

And don't get me wrong, I understand that alway a lot of dialogs and songs are changed so it would make more sense in someone's language. For songs it is obiously to rhyme better and to have accurate number of syllables so it can be actually sung with good sound

So anyway I can say that i did my best to translate song "One of us" from my language to english so you can see the difference

(In blue my comments)

And there it is:

Trick

And deceive These seems to have the same meaning to be honest

From a distance, both his scar and his hair gave him away I mean that's a little racist

Trick (affront)

And deceive (to the core)

He was embodiment of evilness from the very beginning More like he was the Evil in person idk ?

Trick (affront)

And deceive (to the core)

 (He long ago disgraced the blood people) I never knew what it was supposed to mean

From a distance, both his scar and his hair gave him away

(it's time to hit the road)

Trick (affront)

And deceive (to the core)

He is not being kept by anything here anymore

(it's time to hit the road) It is actually a little bit different but I won't be translating proverbs literally so I choosed something that means the same thing.

He has evil and anger in his blood Is evil a noun bc i doesn't really sound like it

The singing of betrayal lulled him to sleep Or he was hugging to sleep the singing of betrayel? it sound like "betrayel" is a person to be honest

May he run away Let him run honestly works here as well but this sounds more official or something

May he last I tried to found the perfect word for this and it said "subsist" instead of "last" but I'm not a tranlator

At this point I don't think that is even grammatically correct

We  don’t want to forget so our song sobs

He is not one of us anymore It's funny bc it imlpies they considered him one of them at some point

He has scar inside his heart I'm sure it's about a lion and the fact that he is flawed inside but read bellow for better context what I'm talking about

This is our voice, This is our judgement

He is not from around here

Someone once betrayed us I mean it hits harder than simple "lied to us" but both are true

And destroyed our faith in world I have no idea where did it came from

Today we know that and our sentence lasts

Scar’s son cannot become one of us so earelier it was said that he was one of them but now it is said that he couldn't like from the very beginning become one of them?

He is not one of us anymore again because why not

Trick

And deceive

Trick

And deceive

Trick

And it's funny that this version implies that Scar was Kovus's father, which wasn't true at all. Kovu says that even in the movie.

So i colored out word scar because it's not exactly translated correctly. I couldn't really find a word for it (maybe blemish?) but it is name for that bad lion from the first movie and in my language it's not translated like that. "Scar" of course is used in this song as a reference to this lion, but real translation from my language behind this name in my language goes more like this:

1.  «defect of an object in the form of a scratch, stain, etc.»

2.  "character defect or dishonorable act"

3.  "weak side of something"

From the dictionary because why not

So it propably fits the character for the second one

Maybe we can say it just means flaw, but in my opinion there is more to this word than just that

For me it's more specific like a flaw that makes something perfect look imperfect only because that flaw existence .

It's just anythng that makes something or someone imperfect. So "scar" is obviously in that category but doesn't mean that exactly.

I have no idea if Scar means in english somehing more than just old wound that is heald but visible and it stands out from rest of the skin, but maybe someone knows it who is smarter than me

Or maybe this "scar" was not meant to be about a lion at all and they were using this specific word (that nobody is using bc it's a little outdated) just because

Basically Scar means heald visible wound

In my language it means flaw or blemish not the wound thing but scar is incuded in this category

I mean, in my language you have a totally different word to translate scar but they used another one everywhere anyway so I don't think I'm as stupid as my sister claims me to be

I think this post is a big mess already so I'll add english version anyway :

Deception

Disgrace

Evil as plain as the scar on his face

Deception (An outrage!)

Disgrace (For shame!)

He asked for trouble the moment he came

Deception (An outrage!)

Disgrace (For shame!)

Evil as plain as the scar on his face

Deception (An outrage!)

Disgrace (For shame!)

He asked for trouble the moment he came

(See you later, agitator!)

Born in grief

Raised in hate

Helpless to defy his fate

Let him run

Let him live

But do not forget

What we cannot forgive

And he is not one of us

He has never been one of us

He is not part of us

Not our kind

Someone once lied to us

Now we're not so blind

For we knew he would do what he's done

And we know that he'll never be one, of us

He is not one of us

Deception

Disgrace

Deception

Disgrace

Deception

I'm curioss how other countries translated it. I won't be looking that up on translate google bc a don't exactly trust it to be correct

Sorry for the long post, I don't think that anybody will read that anyway

Let my stream of toughts flow

[tributepordoom]

Where does the time go. I wish I could say I moved on. Things changed. I found someone new. Etc etc etc. but they haven’t. I still think about the last conversation we had. You said quite a bit and I didn’t really respond to it. Which probably made it seem I didn’t care or just wrote it all off like whatever right. But it wasn’t really like that. I took it all in. Had a response for everything. And wanted to beg you to stay. But. Then I just. Let you go. It’s not that I didn’t have answers or responses. I just didn’t want to hold you here any longer than you wanted to be. And you wanted to go. So why would I fight to keep you? Not saying I don’t regret not speaking up. Or trying to keep you in my life a few more days or minutes or even seconds. Maybe I convinced myself I’m the worst thing for you and being gone would be the best thing. I mean. It seems so. You’re with someone else. Have a heart and his initial in your bio. Seem happy. Kind of like everything is finally going your way and the depressive episodes and downward spirals have stopped. And I know I haven’t tried to break the silence or reach out to say anything. But idk. Why would I?

Not that I don’t want to. Not that I don’t crave your presence in my life. Sharing memes. Discussing lore. Talking games. Just burning hours away like they were seconds talking about nothing at all. Just happy to be conversing with you. I see all that. All the progress you’ve made without me. And every time I type something and before I ever hit send. I Just think about all that. And delete delete delete. I’m not wallowing in misery or anything. I tried moving on too but that ended. Like six months ago. I couldn’t make it work. We had our issues and parted amicably but deep down. I am not over you. I’m not bitter either. But everything I do you’re still there. You’re in all the music I listen to and everything I watch. Even crafting and hobbies. Would she like this. What would she think. I Can almost feel your gaze on me as I paint or color. That wonder in your stare that I pretended to not notice.

I’ve gone over a million times in my head how I’d be when I see you again. Which is coming up soon, and despite my best efforts have still yet to find a good enough reason to skip. Some days I think it’ll be fine. You’re over it all so I have to pretend to be as well. Hey. How’s it going. Glad it’s all going well for you. Great seeing. Yea we should catch up sometime knowing it’ll never happen. But knowing I’ll likely just keep my distance avoid it all costs and duck out of the event at the earliest time possible so you two can enjoy the reception and I don’t have to watch you smile dance and be happy in someone else’s arms. Which. I am happy for. That you are. But won’t lie and still wish it was with me. But that’s not our path is it. Not right now anyway. Maybe down the road things will change and stars will align. Wishful thinking probably. I just know how I feel. And while I won’t intrude on your new life, I can’t say I’m ready to let go yet either. Not in the vain hope of “oh she’s gonna wake up and choose ME” or anything. No. I hope first and foremost you choose yourself. And if I somehow someway fit into that somewhere then so be it. But I don’t want to let go of how I feel. For myself. It’s the realest thing I’ve felt in years. And I hope if we do cross paths again, intentionally and not because we happen to both be at the same wedding. You see me as I am. Taking care of myself. Working to be better. Not the sad shell you may remember. Diminished and broken as I was.

One thing you said was you never thought you deserved me. And I think that’s the most incorrect thing you’ve ever said. It’s I who never deserved you. Pushing you away and doing things to keep you away. Convincing myself it’s what was best when you were practically begging for us to just be together. Not letting you love me. Like I never deserved it. When you didn’t deserve to be treated that way. I’m very sorry for that. Easy to look back and hate myself for every misstep but it’s worse knowing when I’m making them as I’m making them and doing so anyway cause “she’s better off without me”. It was never my choice. And it’s not one I should have ever made for you either.

[cringebutfree777]

Candle light ep3

The phone buzzed. Klara reached her arm out from under the covers. The sight of a wrist like that, corpse-like, pale as snow and covered in various cuts and scars in different stages of healing, would be enough to shock anyone. But that was the way Klara's whole body looked. Pale. Malnourished. Mutilated.

She took a glance at the notification on the screen, an unknown number had sent a message.

-Hey-

She decided to answer, until she realized who the anonymous texter was. Her heart sunk into what was left of her stomach. Out of a dozen random boys attending St. Michael's High School, only one decided to actually text her. Weird guy.

Klara stayed still for a couple of seconds, rubbed her eyes, put the phone down and picked it back up, just to make sure her brain wasn't making her see things. No, it was him. He actually decided to text her.

-Hey. You got this number from Michelle, didn't you?-

She decided to keep it short and sweet, she wasn't going to take a chance she knew she didn't have. She was going to be honest and tell him that Michelle had done that to mess with both of them.

-Yes, I did. Is that a problem?-

She had never heard him speak before, his voice was one of the few things she didn't know about him. The way he answered were "out of character" for the way Klara had made him to up to be in her head. He seemed more confident than she could ever think him to be. She wondered where all that cofidence went the moment he stepped inside the school premises.

-No, but she gave my number to multiple guys at school and I want you to know, this was supposed to be a prank on both of us-

Klara honestly replied, expecting tha conversation to come to an halt at that point, but it didn't, and he texted her back.

-What a fucking bitch-

The way Klara reacted to it was almost comparable to the reaction to a jump-scare. She was so surprised she slightly jolted back from the screen, completely unaware her weird guy would have such a strong personality. Although, she couldn't help but agree with him.

He texted again.

-So, they're all calling you and texting you, right?-

Klara laughed a bit to herself before answering

-No, no, nobody is. I don't even know why they would, to be honest-

-Because they…Like you?-

The question seemed surreal to Klara.

-That would be impissible. I know nobody likes me. She was just trying to mess with me.-

-How do you know for certain?- He quickly texted back.

-How do I know?- Klara answered -I sit in the bathroom at lunch, people avoid me at school, that's how I know lol. She's just trying to get back at me for canceling some plans last minute-

-That seems like a…Mildly drastic reaction to some plans being cancelled.-

-Well, what can I say, she's always been like that-

-Have you told her to…idk..fucking stop?-

Klara chuckled again.

-I'm sure you know Michelle-

-Ah, yes. Of course. Lady "I don't give half a fuck about anybody but myself". Miss "I dread seeing anybody happy". I met her a few times. Rich, spoiled, the type that has everything and still behaves like everyone else's problems are nothing compared to her own-

-That's…Exactly her. Also idk what she told you when she gave you the number but it's probably not true, sorry-

-Well, she made an offer, a "tempting offer" as she phrased it. Basically alluded to me and her hooking up or something-

-Bro this is insane.-

-I know right? What the fuck.-

A few moments passed before Klara had the courage to ask what had been on her mind.

-If you don't mind me asking, did you hope that would happen? Like… Were you going to take her offer?-

-Well…Technically, yeah I guess. But That's not why I took your number I mean…idk it sounds stupid probably but I wanted to get to know you, not her-

-Well I get it…She's like one of the hottest girls in school I mean, who wouldn't want to fuck Michelle. But I have to let you know that she spreads some pretty nasty rumours about you, cause it wouldn't be fair-

-What did she say about me?-

Klara hesitated, she didn't want to hurt the pale boy's feelings, so she tried to omit the exact phrasing and generalize the statements

-She's one of those people who ostracize people with mental illnesses, so when it came out that you had some things going on, you can just imagine the shit that came out of her mouth-

-She's…kinda fucking ableist.-

-That's right, so just a heads up if you're thinking of hooking up or something, she doesn't deserve a second of your time-

-She doesn't deserve anybody's time wtf.-

-I guess the only good thing that came of this is I got to talk to you huh-

…

The pause after Klara sent her message felt like an eternity, until he answered.

-Same. I just wish people treated you better-

Klara's heart felt like it had stopped for a second.

-I'm sorry for believing the things people say about you. You're a great guy-

-I appreciate that…I … needed to hear that. I'm starting to thing a lot of people hate me at school. Like am I really that bad?-

-Admittedly I've heard rumors about you that would make a homicidal maniac blush-

-lmao-

-Like…you being pretty aggressive, violent…but I never really thought you were evil…you know?-

-Yeah. I understand. I'm not gonna lie, most of them are true. Probably all of them. But I'm not a psycho or anyth- well…-

Klara laughed and smiled at the screen

-I don't care if you killed anyone before, maybe you should start doing it again, probably with a school shooting. Possibly our school-

-Lol fuck you're the funniest most likeable person I've ever met in that shit hole. And I really appreciate that you're being so nice to me. I mean it. Staying in there makes me wanna slit my wrists sometimes-

-bro TELL ME ABOUT IT LOL-

-LMAO NO BUT- It's- I mean I noticed you have some gnarly scars on you-

Klara's heart sunk as she read the text, and began panicking as she wondered what he could be thinking about her in that moment, before he texted again

-I mean, they look like mine, so you know you've done them yourself. I have an eye for self-harm scars.-

Klara paused. He texted again

-I wish we met each other sooner.-

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

nauseous Bl0WF1sh

i hav bronchitis again n moi fwend chris says it cuz ima “chronic smoker.” Whatever dat meanzz !!!!?

uMmmmummmmUmmm Ummmmm.!! moi ribzzz hurt from coughin N i had a Wasian hot doc prescribe meH a genZ pack for the nxt 6 days .! i Think she was in luv wif meh cuz she was lik ….”Soo ur feeling sick????🥺🥺🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺” n She wrote me 2 doc notes n encouraged meh to R3st … <3 heart eyes.!!! Im sniffly n BORED.!!!! N my breath smells like arabic coffee. =] i wanna learN how2 Read tha groundzz so i Kan c my future n how my wife gonna lOok Like. I dink she will hav freckles . ?

my new Profesor baggie is my old Hello kitty Crossbady bag i used in lik 3rd grade n i Loveee my mommy for saving it for me.!! Idk how it didn’t wear n Tear or iDk how i Didnf break it already at dis point cuz my Mummy calls me “a power puff girl”.!!! (aka i Alwayz broke everYth1nG growing up… the fridge, bathroom sInk, etc.)

iPhone journal entry 03/01/2023

5:39am on the L train bak home holding a tray of rly bad pasta i ated half of but left tha rest on the train Cuz i forgot n was mad .!!!!!

“the man sitting next to me on the subway smells like microwaved bean and cheese burritos and everyone that commutes at this time wears black and grey and navy. shades of it at least.

i hate when people stare at me. but they do. and i feel like i look mean for a reason. maybe discreetly i want people to be afraid of me. or to make their assumptions. i want to be judged and complain about it. to feel alienated all over again over and over and over again.

why do people wear their wedding rings so freely in this city? or do we really just care far too much about our presentation, myself included.

why am i always counted as second best. or why do i feel as it from the people who make me feel first and last at the same time.”

:-[ SIMP!!!!11111 >_<

my students keep asking me if i identify as an “emo” and a “e-girl” .! N asking if i am a bOy or A gUrl. lolz.!! my Ex situationship is now back to being my current situationship aagain cuzz um he may or may not hav written mEh a poem about fisting me on Queer craigslist which i frequently check N it was romantic . soo We had a closure convo at this Coffee shoppe n i brought a puppy who was tryna fight sum kid there n it wuz awkward n sad n Wonderwall by oasis was playing so obvz it ended in seggs.

i May or mAy not have Snuck into a homeless shelter to hav Sex the other nite cuz i felt Like it . Wrote a poem ab it !.!!

“

twin size mattress

spiky shy seductive fingers

sugar dissolves with heat

and turns golden brown.

caramel kisses on my mouth

u blew weed smoke into

sorry i freaked out.

but we play the system well

i throw ur jacket down three flights and three floors

u say when

and i’ll go

we don’t need a car to go somewhere only we know “

YEAZZZZZZZ SOOOOOOOOOO i had alottaaa weirdOo dreamzz sleeping dere.!!! dreamt of gettin strapped DOWN on a fire scape then also of a blowfish tht kept frowing up itself over n over again til it died then ppl ated it.! Then had a dream i wrote a poem w all my students in spanish n i was teaching a poetry class ssomrwhere Not in America lolz.!! iimm missing the rly Kute bedazzledd “0Bama” beanie i saw at domsey N didn’t buy . it’s been aB 2 months since i saw it dere . Anyway.! security at work was using bathroom n the toilet seat Rn slammed down on his Dick while he was peeing and he just screamed “DAMN WHAT da FUQ WHAT DA FUQ .!!!” :-]

i luv walkin around chinatown w my friendzz n gettin milky T n finding Hello-kitty jumperzz n pjs at F21 >.< n twinkz fashion show at Dallas Bbq wuz kute n i still get kinda shy ab ppl takin moi pix.!Then we danced to music w moi speaker outside afterwards n Then went w group of pplz we just met to a seggs shoppe. Then we tried to find an el bano 4 meh to pee in n may hav accidentally said” fukk” in front of 2 many babies. Then went 2 somewherenowhere n got Vip-ed cuz we r Kewl n hot n do k off each otherzz nailz lik paris hilton n Nicole Richie n cuz starz r BLINDzz.!! theN may or Not hav been on E from 1pm-6am n lost the Spikezz to our bracelets N our gauges in our ears .!!!i luv Kuddling w moi fwendzz post club tho n napping then goin out again.!! N finally bein able to climb up 2 the top of the skate ramp 2 sit dere n why do ppl smoke crack at substance abuse sk8 Park .? mayB cuz it’s called substance abuse :-p ??? hehe duh!!

soooo I ordered dinn from “Miss dongs burgers” cuz trans girlsss hav the sexiest cocks<33 n ordered soft shell crab burger N omfg her crabzz were yummy.!! LOLZZZ im thinkin of the cuRse of curves lyrics while singing another song “ ur beautiful ‘ by james blunt with strangers at a sexy bodega off broadway n also Crying cuz i lost my second pair of reading glasses again and also buying a kids babyPhat shirt even tho it’s a 5-6 size shirt cuz i like the print n Now family dollar sells baby phat beanieZ. ??? i luv living in the wick!!<3

all three of us gave ourselves black eyes on the same eyeball .?!?! within a week apart.?!?! brujajajajajajajaja :-0 i yam Defeating anorexia day by day n it is so hard but i kant keep holding on2 it. N i wanna b able to eat at wei’s n cafe mogador w moi fwendzz n even doe my Ex who used to yell at meh at dunkin’ donuts got herpes from the falafel there i still enjoy eating at dat place .! i realized many thingzz keep me up at nite more than adderal n insomnia. Like pornstar nikki hearts n the old Lex logo. Blu lex logo wuzz shmexy. wrote another iphone note 4 dayzz ago ab how much i need time alone rn cuz i feel v overly stimulated n lik everything is jus2much , n how do we rly even communicate w one another when we don’t get anywhere w our actions.??

“talk talk talk

all we do is talk ,

but talking isn’t always communicating

and listening doesn’t always fix everything

days go by and u feel nostalgic for the nites u didn’t spend admiring the moon . n i lost my heart to get yours to get close to yours. never thought itd hurt this bad. and i’ll never try to dominate the conversation but im sorry if my voice escalates.”

moi wk wuz Kute those were my highlights .!! also helping w a styling pull for bobbi brown ^_^!!!.!!.!!!.!!! kinda excited to meet moi new they she therapist tmrw mornin n get Fixed (not bottom surgery but U kno, with electroconvulsion.)) i also defzz went on a reddit khole n joined lik 4 diff fourms which i kannot disclose cuz uh uh uh uh uHhHhhH yea 2 vulnerable but i changed my username to charlixcx1997 N now i kinda wanna change my name from ren to charli cuz it’s also unisex/andro AF n cute butt ANYWEYZZ yah wuld luv to continue to stay N chat n type n Talk but Yes i am busy brainstorming lesbian spring date ideazz like goin to Dock aznn eatery n eating oysterzz then picking flowers at maria Hernandezz then going 2 moi room wHile we turn the disco lights …. hide under blankies n analyze the lyrics to fast car by tracy chapman n then ask each other our fav pasta shapes then nail our hands together .!!!!<3<3 <3 <3 <3

Xxxxxx with xxxtra xxx,

ren<3

[pseudodeepwords]

thoughts from a head in the clouds

okay, context: i got a little d9 dab pen at the gas station and took too much and decided to document how i felt because it was crazy. here is what i wrote, unedited and in its entirety. please be merciful.

hi tomorrow morning aubrey its me 10 pm high aubrey

in case i dont remember:

took more hits than with haz previously and took some pretty big preheated hits and holy shit dude this is crazy

i wasnt sure if i was high before but i for sure am high as hfuck now i was gonna fix tha typo but i didnt feel like it. same for that one idc so idk if im gonna fully remember this but uh

vision kinda goes in and out in a groovy wave pattern. very 70s fashion inspired stuff

everything is going in and out a little bit. like sea spray on glass. oceanic themes are also present elsewhere. if i try really hard i can make myself stop for a second before doing it again but i keep waving my torso around like im in a boat or a tube or something. like in galveston when the waves kept knocking me arounf or in kiowa that sumer with emma and caroline and i dont really know why but it's nit unkpleasant.

i care less about the typos right now but i promise im fixing some of them. most of them.

i realize i might pos this on my tumblr maybe and its gonna sound fake and crcinge and 2014 and thats okay becasue right now i think it;s really fun to documnet it. thats why i write. its for me. its almist never for anyone ekse and i dont give mysekf credit for it. it's beeen about seven minutes since i starged typing but it feels much longer. it's easiet to sto swayin gand things are almost back to normal speed. not really tho. kind of. lol

im sad haz isnt here. they would probably have been fun to talk to. im thinking about trips i didnt tell dad i was taking.

like the lake with haz a couple weeks ago when we got minecrafgt steve stuck in that pothole and those really nice okies had a tow strap theu used to save us and like that timw i told dad i was in austin and instaed i went with my friends i hadnt seen in two years to galveston so i could traste the ocean and the sea salk breeze for the very first time and even though it was galvy water and i got sick afterwards it was still the sea and i didn't sleep because i forgot my sleeping pills and i thought about will the whole time because i loved him so much and it hurt so bad but it was still better than being numb like i thought id be without him like i was without him that i let it go on too long and killed whatever else we coul have been.

like that time i told dad i was going with ally to abilene and it was her idea and we had a friend out there and i really went alone to see b for the first and so far onky time and even thouh it was miserably hot and i got so dehydrated i got a uti and we couldnt have as much evil sex as we wabted it was so good and i am so in love with him now but this time he does not love me back and i dont jnow if it scares me or not because the last two loved me back and still left so whats this gonna end jp being anhwaus but i dont care because i think i love him even though i feek like we dont know each other that much and im onkyt just now realixing that but i dont care i dont think, i think im reading too deeo unto my own insecurities and we just are what we are thats something sam would say and i trust him even though im still hurt but not realy

im still upset with sam but even more upset with mysle fbaout it. i cried about mom the ither day for the first time in a whike

am i a abd person? do i miss her> i think i do bit i can barely remember her. why wasnt i allowed to be a whole person

why did i always have to be alone

did i do it to myself

where did it get me?

it got me to kiowa and the worst sunburn of my life and it got me to galveston when i was supposed to be in austin esveot no i wasnt and my car needed an oil change but i didnt wanna get one so i was reliant on others for transportation and i remembered how much thar sucks because i want to be able to leave on my terms because god fucking knows i never have been afforded that kuxury before. it got me to abilene. it got me to will and sam abd fucking matthew and all that shit. i dont know if i regret any of it or all of it or none of it. i cant tell anymore if i think im in love with b or if i just need to be wanted. i tjink right this second im leaning towards tha latter but thats bc im emo and lonely. forgot how much distance sucks lol. someon e tected me

it was emmy from tinder. shes nice.

it feels like im a diver. water. remember this was about water,

i wish haz was here they could talk me through the emo patch i know it

i trust them so when they tell me i deserve love and knowin the wouldnt keep me around if they didnt love me in their own way i have to eblievve them theyre my best friend and id probably kill myself if they died bc i really could not live withougt them theyre maybe the only person i think has ever actually seen me or even come close to seeing me without leaving me theyre so importan to me haz i hope u read this if i post it on tumblr ur my platonic soulmateb my twin flame whateber the fuck idk how i would go on without u for real ur my eternal shoulder to cry on and u know me so wekk and care about me even when im a bitcbh ilysm

ally also i love u even when u are devious because of your occasionally unchecked mental illness ilysm

i forgot i was wearing a shirt bc the yellow light frin the screen on thsi white tank top looks like my sking lol

im gonna turn this smocsh video compilation on and tru to sleep lol see u in the nmorning sober me xoxo maybe we dont do that much along next time to avoid the esy mood shifys shawty

i love water i love my friends i love the people i love so much and i love being a diver in secret becuase its just for me and nothing else evr seems like it is. i do not deserve salll the bullshit i went throgu and i deserve to be happy. i hope i find that soon.

[andreaxcb]

Harry Styles ft Rosalía it’s coming

Okay I’ve been thinking about this for a while but just now I toom the time to collect the clues in one place and i think it makes A LOT of sense

Rosalía it’s an Spanish singer, she’s the narrator voice in the Adore You extended version MV, telling us the story about the Peculiar Boy and The Fish. She’s signed under Columbia, just like H so a collab it’s possible in those terms already,

Now let’s dig in all the clues we have.

Harry was MIA the first 2 weeks of January, some people speculate about him doing quarantine because of getting covid in the James Corden’s NYE party, but guess who was in London the second week of January, yup, Rosalía. She was shooting something in the city and posted a photo dumpon her ig account on January 13th 

She was shooting at St Pancrass Renaissance Hotel in central London and there’s some peculiar stuff in her pictures... 

Is that a duvet in the back???

And what is this pink thing... its a blanket?? idk but it looks a lot like something bed related. Also the red Outfit looks like an excellente match to the outfit H was wearing in the Barbican the other day 

and now look at tha phone on the table... could it be ??? 

Now a bit more about Rosalía’s work. She’s rn promoting her new studio album Motomami that’s gonna be released this Friday, March 18th, World Sleep Day.

When we read about what’s this album about... well... I could really get why Harry would like to be involved in working with her, besides that she’s a really excellent artist 

The campaign for this album it’s been with a series of graffitis an ads al over the world with lyrics from the songs... ringing any bells??

WE have seen the casting call for H’s project under the alias of Duvet. So march 18th looks like a date that makes sense... (also this date keeps appearingin the YouAreHome investigation more about his here and here). And we saw him shooting in a giant bed all over London back in February, so it keep matching. 

This past Thursday Rosalía was at Jimmy Fallon show and she talked about H, telling a story about H reaching her to talk about her song Dolerme, songthat was released on March 24th 2021. Looks a lot like promo to me.

The this past Saturday she was the musical guest in SNL and a lot of interesting things started to happen

This is the promotional pictures of her appearance 

and this was her outfit... yes, she’s wearing a Duvet, from all the things she could choose. 

Aslo the artist of the YouAreHome art reposted her performance in SNL, cause why not

I thought that maybe Harry could be doing a ft in her album, but we have the tacklist already and there’s just 2 ft, one with The Weeknd and the other one with Tokischa 

Also I was checking the info from DM when we were told that H was havin some ft in the album and yup.. she’s right there too 

Also guess who was really happy about Rosalía being in London in January

So yeah. I think this is happening. Not sure about the date. Cause Friday it’s her album release date. Could be a couple of weeks later to help her with her new album, I bet if H and Rosalía release music together a lot of the people who don’t know her work are gonna end up listening to her last material so it would be beneficial for her. March 25th, April 1st or April 8th. March 25th keeps bein a possibility with all that’s happening with YouAreHome and the doors... First teaser of H’s first album  was released on MArch 25th 2017, and he was walking and opening a door... so yeah, could be, who knows. 

Another weird but probably reach connections are the post Rosalía did back in january 2021 Rosalía tweeted CHERRY and posted a series of gg stories (I couldn’t find them now) of her in the coast with Cherry stickers. This was around the same time that lottie posted a pictures of Cherrys in her feed and Alessandro started commenting the TPWK pictures with cherrys too, so it was all bit confusing. Probably unrelated.

But now we have cherrys on the Lamp ad... so IDK what to think.

I don’t think home it’s completeky related to this ft, but maybe the collab it’s a part of the whole HS3 YouAreHome promotion. So let’s keep it in mind. If I found anything else I’m gonna add it here.

I’m adding the link to a recepit of a friend of Rosalía saying she hasn’t change her phone number in a while so more reasons to believe this was brought up for promo