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#if you insist on showing them what you do with their own stories well. i admire your courage i guess. godspeed not getting arrested
astrangetorpedo · 2 days
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IN INTERVIEW
Julien Baker, the interview 6/8/2016
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At just 20 years old, Julien Baker gave us last year a first album of intense and rare emotional force, the superb Sprained Ankle reviewed here . A moving record that left a deep and lasting mark on me. It was therefore impossible to miss the young American's arrival in Paris and not to take advantage of the opportunity to try to get to know this outstanding artist a little better. A meeting was thus organized thanks to the invaluable help of Sean, her manager, in a café in the 12th arrondissement, two hours before the young lady's very first Parisian concert, on May 24. A one-on-one meeting that revealed to me an adorable and voluble young woman, incredibly touching and sincere, and above all determined to seize life with all her might! A moment of exchange and sharing that I am not ready to forget.
Hello Julien!
Julien Baker : Hello!
First of all, thank you very much for granting us this interview. I am a big fan of your music and it makes me really happy to meet you!
Oh, thank you! It's a great pleasure for me too, you know! I still can't believe that people like my music enough to want to meet me to talk about it. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, really!
Perfect! Let’s start at the beginning of your story. I read that you’ve been making music for a while now. Could you summarize the journey that led you to where you are today?
Yeah, sure! I started listening to music in middle school. It was rock, I was really into it with painted nails, black eye makeup, all that stuff! [laughs] Then I started playing in bands, punk bands mostly. Then I joined Forrister which is the band I still play in today. We were playing shows in cities around our area. Then I went to college and a friend of mine who worked in a studio there offered me to record with him for free. Since my band couldn't be there, I did it solo, without any specific plans. I put the album out on Bandcamp for $2 or $3 a copy.
That's when Sean [Julien's manager] contacted me and suggested we release the album in a more official and professional way. I told him that I was actually in a band, Forrister, and that no one would be interested in me as a solo artist. He insisted and even though I didn't believe it at all, I agreed to give it a try. I'll always remember the day he called me to tell me that NPR [National Public Radio] was going to play my single. I hung up crying and immediately called my mom all excited to tell her the news! But then, as things seemed to start to take off for me, I started to doubt myself. I felt guilty towards the rest of the band, thinking that they would resent me for doing this project without them. So I called the drummer and asked him what they thought and he said they were just proud and super happy and not mad at me in any way. So I kept going and here I am! I never thought I would come to Europe and do all this, it's crazy, really!
During the band's time, did you already have this desire to write your own songs?
I don't think I had any real unfulfilled desire to do this.
But you were writing?
Yes, I wrote my own songs. But not because the band was holding me back or preventing me from doing it within the collective. It's just that sometimes you write songs but they don't fit the moment. So I put those lyrics aside, like that, without any specific goal. I've always written and played in different bands. There was enough space for all that, things didn't have to be done exclusively in one framework or another.
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Were your parents musicians?
Not really. Well my dad bought me a guitar and showed me how to play it. So I started playing by practicing at home on my own. I also took piano lessons but for a very short time. My teacher didn't really like me because I didn't work hard enough. I just played by ear without wanting to learn to read music and he didn't like that. So I taught myself. But my parents were big music fans. They played records all the time at home. When I was younger I wanted to go to a concert, my dad would come with me to make sure I was safe! He was the only adult in the middle of all these tattooed and pierced kids! [laughs] Oddly enough it never bothered me. When he made a surprise appearance at the Bowery Ballroom for my concert in New York, I was so proud! He and my mom have always been a great support!
This is really great!
Yes I know !
In addition to being an author and composer, you are also a student. Are you still going to university?
I just finished my semester. It's currently summer vacation. But I think I'm going to take a break in the fall. I completed the theoretical part of my literature course thanks to online courses. The last thing I need to fully validate my teaching diploma is the practical part, in school with students. I tried to do it last fall but it's complicated to carry out both projects at the same time: give lessons during the week then take a plane to California or New York on the weekend to play a concert, before returning to teach on Monday morning! So I'm going to take a break to devote all my time to music.
Do you want to teach one day?
I think I would really enjoy teaching. I love it. As a teenager I was a summer camp counselor, I love children. So yes it would be really cool to teach!
You studied literature. Did that influence your way of writing?
Yes, totally! I try to feed myself as much as I can from all these different ways of perceiving life and emotions that I find in books. It enriches me intellectually speaking. I have the feeling of learning new things about myself each time I discover a new author and this is then reflected in my writing I think, consciously or unconsciously.
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Are you familiar with French literature?
Voltaire! I often joke with my professor friends that I would really like to have a big Voltaire and Cervantes tattoo! I already have a Gabriel Garcia Marquez tattoo [Julien then shows me his 2-part tattoo on the inside of his 2 wrists]…
Is he your favorite writer?
One of my favorites, I can't choose just one! And so when my students would complain that Voltaire is an old man who's not cool, I could show them my Voltaire tattoo and prove to them that it's really cool! [laughs] Reading Candide really changed my life. It was incredible! I think the translation of the title is The Optimist , which is quite ironic. Cervantes wrote Don Quixote and we have this word in English, "quixotic" which means optimistic but optimistic to the extreme, to the point where even if everything is going wrong in your life and you know it, you continue to believe in it despite everything. There is a really romantic and admirable dimension to that attitude I find. Same for Candide where there is this quote that I always come back to when I feel really bad and which says: "I wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but I still loved life" . I think I cried when I first read that sentence. Anyway, I could talk about literature for hours, don't drag me down that dangerous path! [laughs]
Haha, ok. So back to the music! Listening to your album I couldn't help but think of two other artists I really like: Sharon Van Etten and TORRES…
I love TORRES!
Me too! I even did my very first interview with her!
Wow! She's amazing!
Do you agree with this comparison even if the artists in question do not come from the same scene as you?
I totally agree with this comparison! As a teenager I only listened to punk and thought that anything that wasn't punk was worthless. Then I grew up as a musician and learned to appreciate all styles. When you really love music, you love an artist as long as their music is honest and good, no matter what the style. It doesn't matter if it's hip hop or country or whatever!
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I totally agree!
And so I'm a big fan of TORRES! I loved her first album, the one before Sprinter . The song Honey is the very first one I heard from her.
The same !
And oh my god, what a song! I played with her in Chicago, I was added as the opening act at the very last minute, I felt so honored! On my way to the dressing room, I ran into her and as I was saying "Oh sorry, I don't want to bother you" she said "No, come on, this is a shared space, you have as much right to be here as I do" and she kindly invited me in. As for Sharon, it's funny because the first time I met her, she asked me to have lunch with her, can you imagine having lunch in New York with Sharon Van Etten! And she told me she was also going to invite her friend Mackenzie [Mackenzie Scott aka TORRES]. But our phones died and we couldn't get a hold of her. So in Chicago TORRES couldn't make the connection, I was just the little girl at the door!
Excellent! Are there any other musical influences that you would claim?
Do you know David Banzan?
Nope…
Ok. There's a band called Pedro The Lion and David Bazan is the lead singer. He influenced me quite a bit. And do you know Death Cab For Cutie?
Yes of course !
They were the first non-punk band I listened to. At the time I only listened to loud and fast music, but when I heard Transatlanticism for the first time it was a shock, everything changed. They really meant a lot to me.
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Your texts are very strong and very personal. When you wrote them, did you think about the impact they could have on those around you first and then on the general public?
Well, at first, I didn't imagine that this solo album would lead me anywhere, I was convinced that my music would only be made with my band Forrister. So when I released the album on Bandcamp, I really thought that only my friends would listen to it. So I wrote all these songs like that, just for me, without really thinking about the scope of the lyrics. And I'm ultimately happy that I didn't think about it because if I had known what was waiting for me, I think I would have most certainly changed things, I would have probably been more reserved in my words. But if it's difficult for me to show my vulnerability, I realize that it's totally worth it when young people come up to me after concerts to tell me that my music has helped them in difficult times in their lives. It's of course a little embarrassing for me to share such intimate things but if these things make others feel good, then I think it's worth it in the end.
But isn't it a little scary to expose yourself so completely naked and transparent? It's so brave, I don't know if I could do it myself!
Well, you see, it's exactly the same for me, I'm not sure I would have been able to do it if I had known everything in advance! But now that it has happened, I feel that from now on I have the right, the license to be brave. Perhaps it was the plans of destiny or God, something like that.
And isn't it too difficult for you to sing songs every day that inevitably bring you back to painful moments?
I think there are two options. Option one: I can sing these songs every night, let them take me back in time and feel sorry for myself. Option two: there is the quote from this poet that I love who says that all the horrible things in life just need to be seen from a different and courageous perspective. Things that seem bad can indeed turn out to be good in the end. So I have chosen to let the dark and sad aspects of my songs become pretexts to be positive and happy. Because yes, all these things have happened to me but if that had not been the case, I probably would never have written these lyrics and I would not be here today in Paris talking to you, Laurence! In the grand scheme of things, everything has a meaning and works for our good in the end.
That's very beautiful what you say! [laughs] To talk about lighter things, this is your first time in Europe, isn't it?
Yes !
How do you feel?
I love it! I have such a good time. Well I don't sleep much... [laughs]
Is it the time difference or the excitement?
Well now it's the excitement! But a week ago it was also the jet lag [laughs]. Imagine, we traveled for over 30 hours straight to get here! I first took a plane to Richmond and then a train to Washington DC. We then took a flight to Iceland where we took another flight to Copenhagen. Once there we took a train but due to a problem on the tracks we had to take a bus that took us to another train! When we arrived at the hotel, we were totally exhausted! [laughs] It was 11 o'clock in the evening but at that time of year the sun hadn't set because we were so far north and my body didn't understand anything at all! But hey after a good night's sleep everything was better! And now if I don't sleep it's just because I don't want to miss anything, not a single minute you know! I thought I would never be able to afford to travel and once again it seems that Destiny's plans are extraordinarily kind to me. I feel so grateful and lucky!
And that's just the beginning!
I hope so! But you know, even if everything had to stop, well in any case it would have been much, much more than I could have imagined! I am so grateful for everything that is happening to me!
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Are there any particular places you want to discover?
Sean has been here before and wants to show me places he liked. Today he took me to see the Sacré-Cœur which is beautiful. On my side, there are also places I would like to visit, especially in Barcelona, ​​because I am majoring in Spanish literature. I would like to go to the café where Picasso had his very first exhibition, long before he was famous. I would also like to see the Sagrada Familia, Gaudi's work, visit a museum, buy a Viva Cataluña t-shirt and eat paella. I am so excited to be able to do all these things!
That's great! But it's going to take you some time to do all of this!
We are staying there for the whole festival [Primavera Sound Festival]. So we should have some time. Of course we won't sleep much because in the evening I also want to attend the concerts!
You'll sleep when you get home!
Exactly! Since I am a big coffee drinker, one of my friends gave me a badge for my jacket that says "I will sleep when I am dead" ! [laughs] There are indeed so many things to experience in one life! [laughs]
And what are your plans for after the European tour?
We're actually going to be touring until the end of the year.
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Will you come back to Europe?
We're going to Australia in November I think. I can't wait! We're also going to tour the States so as for Europe I don't really know... And then I hope to have some free time early next year. I'm always writing new songs that I play live. I must have 30 demos on my computer and I'd really like to record them. So it would be great if I could get into the studio early next year!
Last question: do you have one or more musical recommendations to share with us?
Lucy Dacus!
Oh I love it!
We played together in Washington DC. I had never heard her songs before Washington and I remember hearing the lyrics to Map On A Wall which say "I hope good comes from good and good comes from bad anyway" and I started crying all by myself watching her play. Her music is so beautiful, so powerful! And we have so much in common: questions of spirituality, sexuality and faith, questions about gender too and the place of girls in rock music. We are really like two halves of the same person. We have the same booker and were approached by the same label. And when I saw her again in Richmond I knew we operated exactly the same way. So our biggest fear is that we will one day become jaded and arrogant. We want to remain grateful, sincere and enthusiastic. There are so many people who do this for a long time and end up jaded. It's really great to find someone who feels exactly the same way you do, and that's the case with Lucy. We're platonic soulmates! She's a very, very dear friend.
You must tell her at all costs to come and shoot in Europe and in Paris because there are people waiting for her here!
Promise! I'll send her a message as soon as I have wifi!
Lucy Dacus! A perfect choice! Thank you very much Julien!
Thank you! It was great!
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photos by jean-marc ferré 📸
interview by lolo from paris (who has great footage of that paris show on his youtube account) 📝
wayback link for the interview 🔗
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'why are there freaks in the hermitshipping tag!' for one we're playing with a Very loose concept of them being characters at all considering they're just doing letsplays and not actually putting any spin on their real personalities or interactions which makes any and all 'character interactions' barely half a degree away from RPF already so like. Maybe start there ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
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our-aroace-experience · 8 months
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My mom is approaching 70 and is in what I can only describe as a Queer Platonic Relationship. My whole life my mom has been ambivalent about romance, and I suspect that if she were young today she’d describe herself as aro. She and my dad were happily married before he passed away, but even so, I don’t really have memories of them being over romantic. Their friends and and family didn’t believe them at first when they announced their marriage (when she was 36!) bc they “didn’t act like a couple”. They worked well as partners and both wanted kids, but there was always something different about their relationship compared to the relationships of my friends’ parents. Since my dad’s death she has shown zero interest in getting remarried and has been happily single for more than a decade.
My mom has an incredibly full life. She’s got lots of friends of all ages, fulfilling hobbies, and a shitty little dog that she loves to pieces. I never worry about her being bored and lonely.
She has this neighbor in her apartment building. They help each other out the way couples do with tasks like grocery shopping, attending family events together, and they co parent the shitty little dog, but she swears up and down that there’s nothing romantic between them. They help each other with medication, hospital visits, and navigating the scary changes of getting old together. She and my grandpa used to argue about her getting remarried to this neighbor bc he didn’t want her to be “lonely”. My mom insisted that she’s not lonely and the relationship was not romantic. There’s love and companionship, but it’s “not like that”.
Back when I started to show interest in dating as a teen my mom was so confused. “You actually want to go on dates? My mom used to force me to date and I hated it.” When I came out as gay as an adult she was like “That’s cool. I still don’t get why you wanna date people.”
My dad once told me a story about how early in their marriage, my mom once accidentally “dated” a different man without realizing that he was taking her out on dates. From her perspective she just was having fun outings with a friend. When the guy “came clean” and told my dad “I’m dating your wife” he just laughed because my mom had been excitedly telling him all about their “dates”. She missed every single clue that this guy had been laying down for her that he was interested. “He invited me to have breakfast on his boat! I’m so excited for the birdwatching that time of day!” (My mom also might be a little autistic but that’s neither here nor there). She just is not a romantically inclined thinker.
I love my mom very much and I’m so lucky to have her as a role model. She’s taught me that happiness is extremely versatile. You don’t have to follow a traditional set route for a complete life with meaningful relationships. Romance is a social construct as much as anything, and you are free to engage with it on your own terms. Don’t be afraid to live and love the way you want to. Your life will be fuller and happier for it.
I’m so happy you’ve had a positive experience, and your mum sounds lovely!
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peachsayshi · 3 months
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₊ ⊹ . ݁ MILLION DOLLAR BABY  ₊ ⊹ .
(sex worker!suguru geto x rich girl!reader)
⊹ tags: suguru geto x female reader; nanami kento x satoru; sukuna is reader's ex; character mentions: yuki, mei mei, shoko, toji; alludes to dd/lg relationship (very very mildly) with sukuna; a mix of angst/smut/fluff; domestic; non curse au; reader was in a toxic relationship; reader has daddy issues a bit lol; mentions of troubled past; mentions of death (parental)
:about: you grew up in a supremely wealthy household, but that came with a price. you’ve never had control over your own life, and now your father is set to marry you off. luckily, there's someone else who captures your heart. what does it matter that you pay him for his company?
:note: hi, everyone! this story is finally here, and it's one that's taken me forever to work but I actually loved this piece. I haven't been excited about something I've written in a while. I hope it lives up to all your expectations. comments and reblogs are always appreciated <3 - this fic is one shot, and I am willing to explore stories with the side characters. I'll happily answer any lore questions regarding sex worker geto x rich girl reader, but there will not be a part two or more parts of their story. It is a standalone.
wc: 14K+
The ceiling is covered with hanging irises, each one carefully handcrafted in paper. Edison bulbs dip down from between in staggering heights, illuminating the bar around you in warm light. It’s crowded tonight, clinking glasses and roaring laugher bouncing off the walls and clashing against the bass coming through the speakers. You scan the crowd, anticipation making your stomach flutter, but it quickly eases when you spot a head of golden hair among the audience. 
Nanami is at the bar, looking dapper as usual in a chocolate brown suit offset by a cream colored shirt. He’s drinking a whiskey when you approach him, the amber liquid mirroring the touch of bronze on his cheekbones. You sling your designer purse off your shoulder (the latest splurge of the week) and slide into the seat right next to him. 
“And how was your vacation?” you ask, greeting him with a question and noticing his mouth draw into a firm line. 
“Let’s not talk about it,” he insists, his eyes a little sad which only makes your stomach ache at the sight. 
He’s your closest friend - the only real friend you have. Kento Nanami doesn’t carry two faces. He sticks to the one that he has.  As one of the top investors in the country, he made a name by keeping the rich wealthy. He loathes his job and the pressures surrounding it - a walking hypocrite for despising the life that lines his pockets. 
He can’t find an escape no matter how hard he tries. 
And that's why you’re both two peas in a pod. 
He does, however, like you - not because of your background, but because you don’t try to be something that you are not as well. In a world where you are surrounded by parasites, Kento proved to be a nearly extinct butterfly, quietly fluttering by your side as you both drift across the harsh jungle around you. 
You concede, knowing better than to push his buttons. “Okay, I guess we aren’t talking about it…” 
“Tell me something else. Do you ever know how to walk into the room and not be the center of attention?” 
You smirk as he calls the waiter over.  Your presence easing the twinge of disdain on his face.
“What are you trying to say, hmm?” 
“You look nice tonight. New dress?” 
“New dress, new bag, new nails...” you list off, showing off each expensive purchase as you check them off your list. 
Nanami shakes his head playfully before ordering your usual once the bartender approaches. He angles his body towards you and breathes out a heavy sigh. 
“How are you?” He asks, genuine concern masking his face. 
Your shoulders drop. “I don’t want to talk about it…” 
His expression softens, one hand moving to touch your thigh exposed by the slit of your dress. 
“When do you meet Naoya?” 
He’s the only other person who knows about the pending engagement. The only person who offered you a way out by proposing instead. Despite his stance within the social community, you know that it’s not an offer that you can easily accept. 
Kento wasn’t bred into this world, and that makes all the difference. 
Your father would never accept a man from such a humble background. Especially not one whose offer wouldn't benefit him by any means.
“A few weeks from now,” you reply, eyes shifting to the bartender who passes your drink towards you. “He’s given my father specifications on how I should be presented…” 
Your friend scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Pardon my vulgarity but he just sounds like the kind of guy who wants to swing his dick around. I’m surprised he hasn’t shown up tonight…” 
The opening of the Ayame Lounge & Bar was invite only, exclusive to socialites and the elite. You know that Naoya must have received an invitation, everyone from the Zen’in family was here in attendance including the infamous outcast Toji. 
“He wouldn’t be caught dead here,” you inform, picking up your beverage and taking a small sip. “Naoya likes to uphold “tradition” but we all know it’s just a facade.” 
Kento’s thumb strokes your skin tenderly, worry ingrained in his gentle eyes. 
The two of you spend the night talking, catching up on the little things since his return from a two week vacation in Malaysia. He keeps the conversation light, telling you about his fantastic accommodation and all the food that he ate while he was away. In between you find yourself glancing over his shoulder, your eye on the crowd taking in the people around you. 
That’s when you spot him, standing just a few feet away, looking like a demigod among mere aristocrats. His hair is pulled back into a neat bun, a layer of his bangs kissing his forehead. His face is serious, jaw tight and eyes sharp as he focuses on his white haired counterpart. The black tee hugs his torso, his neat slacks cinched by the waist with a leather belt. You can’t help but bite your bottom lip, your mind drifting away from the conversation at hand. 
Your friend notices, of course. Kento is so tuned in to everything around him that he almost can’t help himself. He glances over his shoulder to see what caught your attention, only to instantly turn back around and stare at the whiskey glass on the table. 
The tips of his ears burn red. 
You register the response, knowing exactly what struck him to react in that way. 
Satoru Gojo -  former porn star, turned model, turned mega influencer. With a follower count in the hundreds of millions, he is the world’s hottest it boy. Nobody can deny his sheer beauty - whenever he walks into a room, he manages to steal a glance from every single person within his vicinity. Due to a rare genetic condition, his sapphire blue eyes and frosty white hair earned him the title of “The Prince”, and the people were desperate to share a place by his side. 
Suguru and Satoru were also the best of friends, a fact that Suguru revealed to you one night in bed. The two of them met on set, back when Satoru was still doing adult films. At the time, Suguru was just a camera man and it was Satoru who told him he could increase his earnings if he just performed instead. 
You remember telling Suguru: “it’s crazy how quickly his life changed”
“Some people are just lucky,” he responded, though you easily picked up the bitterness laced in his words. 
What most people don’t know is that Satoru Gojo is also involved with the man seated right next to you. You stumbled upon Nanami’s secret affair by accident when the two of you attended a resort opening by hotel heiress, Yuki Tsukumo. Everyone was invited to stay overnight for the weekend, and the morning after your first night there, you walked over towards Nanami’s room to grab some breakfast. He greeted you in a grey robe with his hair tousled, with hickeys trailing the side of his neck. You quirked a brow in his direction, your mouth forming into a blatant circle when you found Satoru Gojo fast asleep on his bed right behind him. 
The man in question looks away from Suguru towards you and Kento. His brows lifting in surprise when he spots your golden haired friend, but your eyes rest on Suguru who gestures that he will catch Satoru around. 
They both walk in opposite directions. 
You take a sip of your drink, your eyes shifting to Nanami. 
“You’ve got about five seconds to figure out what you want to say because Satoru is walking over here as we speak,” you inform. 
He exhales and straightens his back, his guard entirely up. 
You smile at Satoru when he approaches you, his pearly whites radiant as always. 
“Hi!” He says casually, though you can hear a touch of apprehension in his voice. “Mind if I cut in?” 
“Not at all!” you respond, “Can I get you a refill?” 
His cheeks blush a subtle shade of pink, the tiny gesture making you understand how easily it is to fawn over such a beautiful face. “It’s just soda, but sure” 
“Not drinking tonight?” You continue, glancing between him and Nanami as you wait for your friend to interject. 
“Actually, I’m three years sober,” he explains. 
“Good for you!” You cheer honestly, before turning to the bartender and ordering him another soda. 
From your peripheral vision you see him inch closer towards your friend. 
“I haven’t heard from you in a while,” he states, though his voice comes across as a little small. 
“I’ve been busy,” Nanami curtly replies, and your brows furrow at his unusual tone. 
“Too busy to even say hi?” Satoru continues, his voice low enough that only the three of you can hear each other. 
“Aren’t you here with a date?” Nanami chides, glancing up at him with a mocking eye. 
“Utahime isn’t my date, we both got invited together by our agency…” Satoru answers through gritted teeth. “Besides, I was hoping to spend time with you. I haven’t heard from you since Kuantan…” 
Nanami’s face burns an even brighter shade of crimson, the intimacy of Satoru’s comment flaring his humiliation. 
“Come on,” the white haired prince teases, attempting to ease the discomfort. “Don’t be such a grump. Let’s go outside. Get a little fresh air.” 
You can see that people are starting to stare at the three of you. 
Wherever Satoru goes, eyes follow him. 
While he may be immune to the attention, you can clearly see that Nanami is not. 
“No, thank you.” 
“What? You going to make me beg?” Satoru presses cheekily, but there is a twinge of desperation in his voice. 
“Begging is not difficult for somebody like you,” Nanami bites, and you can’t help but glare at him in shock. 
“Kento!” you chastise, but the look on his face speaks volumes. 
Regret. 
Instantaneous Regret. 
In front of him is a visible hurt that breaks Satoru’s face, like paint slowly chipping away. His eyes gloss over, and he anxiously rubs his hand over the back of his undercut before excusing himself and turning on his heel. 
Nanami covers his face with his palm, while you can only stare at him in disbelief. 
“How can you say that to him? I thought you liked him!” You whisper. 
“I-I didn’t mean to-” 
“You act like you’re ashamed of him whenever he’s around you…” 
Nanami avoids your eye, “How do you think this makes me look? I can’t have people seeing us together. I don’t want the world to swallow me up just because he prefers being gawked at by everyone around him” 
“That’s his job - it’s how he earns a living. I can’t believe you would degrade him over it,” you shake your head, unaware of where your sudden defenses are coming from.
“I know that…” 
“Is that why you don’t want to talk about your trip? Did something happen?” 
The man grows quiet, a sigh escaping him. 
“I broke up with him” 
“You what?” You gasp. 
“It'll never work. Our lives are too different” 
“You didn’t even give him a chance, Ken. He likes you. He really, really likes you.” 
“What chance is there to give? My life would come apart because of him. He would never be truly mine. I would have to share him with the rest of the world day in and day out. And the worst part is that…what should be intimate between us will never be ours either. Do you know that he’s still the highest streamed porn star in the world-” 
“He’s just a person. A person like me and you. Neither one of us chose this life. I didn’t ask to be born into my family, and you weren’t asked to save yours from debt. Yet, here we are. Existing in a world that we had to carve out for ourselves. Don’t you think the same applies to him?” 
You take another sip of your drink, your cheeks warming with anger at your friend’s condescending tone towards Satoru. 
Although, you find your reasons for defending him to be far more self serving. 
“So what if he sells his body? That’s his choice to make. Does it change anything else about him? Does it change his feelings for you?” You lecture, “I can’t believe that you be this ungrateful over skewed morals. If you both care about each other, there is no reason why you can’t be together. Take it from somebody who’ll probably never get the chance. This isn’t something you want to simply let go of, Kento. You’ll regret this decision for the rest of your life.”
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Nanami downs his whiskey and excuses himself then, your words stinging the microscopic cuts on his heart. You find yourself a little flustered after watching him walk away, unsure of where that outburst even came from. 
The eyes surrounding you look away. 
You know you’ve given everyone within your peripheral area a story to gossip about. One that would be twisted and chewed until there is no morsel of truth left in it. 
Your drink gives you enough liquid courage to socialize and face the music instead. 
You steer your way through the crowd hoping to find one person in particular, but instead you are caught among the net of cliques, old faces, and fake friends. You manage to bypass any pointed questions, passing through each conversation with a forced grin and entertaining the discussions at hand with fluffy anecdotes and petty rumours. 
When you walk away, you know full well that there will be whispers behind your back.
That’s the give and take about this world. Everyone is a vulture secretly waiting to witness the rise and fall of those around them. It’s a vicious circle, which is why nobody ever reveals their true hand in the process.  
You glance around the room, honing in on the handsome dark haired boy you’ve grown entirely too attached too except you spot someone else in between who makes your spine seize.
Your toes curl in your pointed heels. 
Your heart stutters unsteadily. 
Blushed strands, a wolfish grin, and a broad build - Sukuna always takes up far more room than he needs. 
You personally believe it’s because his ego is so massive it requires that extra space. 
You haven’t seen the man in five years, not after the messy relationship that that followed your even messier break up. 
You should have known better than to get involved with him while still so young. 
You remember that version of you. When you first met Sukuna, you were a small rabbit who had accidentally hopped its way into a lone wolf’s den. Twenty one and just embracing the glitz and glamor of the world around you. The man was charming, flirtatious and most of all dangerous. You couldn’t help but return to his lair, especially when he would take the time and effort to approach you at every function, party and gathering that you attended. When you think about your relationship with Sukuna, it fills you with shame until you can only drown in it. There is a reason why you’ve kept it a secret for so long. Even staring at him right now, the dishonor hangs on your shoulder like a weighted sin that you’re burdened to carry for the rest of your life. Every time it hits, the memories play like a movie on hyper speed. 
How often you allowed him to spill his seed all over your body. How often he brought you to tears with his tongue between your legs. How often you would moan the words “daddy” over and over again while riding him. How often you let him manipulate your heart. How often you let him convince you that you were happy.  
That twisted relationship was testament to how broken you were. 
You didn’t even know about his wife who lived in Kyoto until it was far too late. 
Your instinct tells you to turn on your heel and walk in the other direction, but you catch Suguru just up ahead in the crowd and your courage outweighs your hesitation. 
You manage to stride past Sukuna,  a darting feline scurrying towards the safety of a shadow. Your hammering heart steadies itself when the trail of his strong cologne is a safe distance behind you. You nervously clutch onto the strap of your purse, exhaling a quick breath before marching up to Suguru. 
You tap his shoulder twice. 
He spins around, eyes lifting as a smile spreads across his handsome face. 
Like a full moon on a clear night sky. 
“Well, isn’t this a lovely surprise.” 
“I sure hope so,” you remark, biting your bottom lip playfully as you glance at your own feet. 
Suguru chuckles, taking a step closer. “It is.” 
You glance up at him from underneath your lashes, your heart vibrating with pure excitement. You think it’s silly to have such a schoolgirl infatuation over him, especially since you understood the terms that surrounding your relationship. 
You pay him for his company. 
You aren’t supposed to have a crush on man who you employ to have to sex with you. 
Yet, your gut tells you otherwise. Convinces you that the softness in which he speaks is reserved only for you. 
“Are you here with anyone?” You ask a little breathlessly, hoping that you weren’t interrupting him working. 
Suguru shakes his head. 
“Satoru invited me,” he clarifies, and it’s an answer that only makes you giddy. 
“Oh!” You squeak, “well that’s nice. It’s a really exclusive party, make sure you to take it in…” 
His eyes blatantly fall over you, cascading down your body like ink dripping over a canvas. 
Your cheeks warm. 
He’s not even hiding that he’s checking you out, and it triggers the wild desire within you. 
“Are you here alone?” He questions. 
You nod your head, knowing full well that Kento is probably in the midst of a heated conversation with his distraught lover and won’t be returning anytime soon. 
“Why don’t you join us then?” He adds, cocking his head to point at the table behind him. 
You glance over his shoulder, barely recognizing the crowd. 
A fact that seems ideal to you. 
“I’d love to,” you say with a pretty smile, all the while Suguru’s eyes continue sparkling. 
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
The last time you saw Suguru was a few weeks ago, where your heavy heart spilled the news of your pending engagement. 
“An arranged marriage, huh?” he whispered in the dark, his sharp eyes dipping to your naked chest while his delicate fingers carefully pushed the bedsheet further down to your hips.
You inched a little closer into his frame, soaking in the outlines of his chiseled torso and bringing one finger to trace little shapes on his broad shoulder.
Your brows furrowed with annoyance, “yeah, ever heard of the Zen’in family?”
Suguru scoffed, breaking character for only a second but it’s something that you’ve caught him doing more recently. He doesn’t hold his reactions around you as tightly as he used to. The front of this alter ego that he created faltering, which is probably why you find yourself drawn to the person existing underneath the mask of the seducer.
You sigh before continuing your explanation, “my father thinks Naoya Zen’in is a perfect match for me.”
An uneasy expression flickered across Suguru’s face, but he suppresses it before allowing it to linger. 
You lifted yourself up onto your elbow and rest your cheek on your palm. “What is it?”
Suguru mirrors your position, his large hand gliding back and forth over the slope of your hips and waistline which sent goosebumps all over your body. “I’ve heard that Naoya…” Suguru stated, pinching the pads of his fingers lightly against your flesh before leaning forward to kiss the crease between your brows, “can be a handful to deal with…”
You thread your fingers around his neck, your lips finding his jaw where you return a kiss. “And who told you that?” you murmured as the weight of Suguru’s body rolls on top of yours.
You were staring at his devastatingly handsome face from below. The longer you spent time with him the more you began to wonder about his circumstances and a reoccurring thought crossed your mind once more.
Suguru could truly be anything he wanted, but instead he was here making a killing off of fucking lonely women and porn videos.
You don’t judge his choices, but you couldn't help but feel puzzled by the situation especially when you knew the trajectory of his best friend’s career path. 
One photo shoot at a mid-level fashion brand skyrocketed Satoru Gojo’s career and made him a household name. Yet, Suguru Geto was a taboo that was whispered behind closed doors. 
“I have a client who likes to gossip,” he admitted. 
That’s all you got because Suguru kept everything else about his clients confidential. You shivered when his mouth met your neck, his lips sucking along the tender skin that sent goosebumps all over your chest, but there’s an ache in your heart when you consider that if it wasn’t for the signed cheque in your purse, he wouldn’t even be here in the first place.
Not a single man you’ve met in the world compared to Suguru. You’ve never known how sweet lovemaking can be until he fucked you for the time. Not only was he beautiful beyond comprehension, but he was charming and extremely smart. You found yourself enjoying his company beyond physical purposes, and conversations with him turned out to be one of your favorite ways to pass time.
“Think we’ll still get together when you’re a missus?” he teased, his lips trailing lower to your collar bones and hovering just a above your breasts.
The thought of you getting married only made you sick.
“Do you peg me as a terrible wife? a woman who would happily cheat on her husband?” you questioned, your voice trembling when Suguru circled his lips around your hard nipple.
He hummed, drawing out a whimper when he nipped at the bud lightly, his tongue gliding over the hardened nub. 
“No,” he answered, his voice dropping an octave and your mind swirled when you contemplate if that strange tone is actually jealousy. He rested his chin on your chest, his inky hair framing his face in a waterfall of obsidian. “I do, however, peg Naoya as a terrible husband.”
You sank your fingers into his locks, “it doesn’t matter who my father chooses. All these men are the same. Naoya is no worse than the rest. I’m trapped regardless…”
It was the first time you allowed yourself to think about Sukuna when in bed with Suguru. The first time you thought about the last four years and the many men who tried to weasel their way into your heart just for the sake of obtaining status. The discomfort is written plainly on your face. Suguru doesn’t know that seeking him out was your way of taking matters into your own hands, even in just the smallest way. 
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he responded sincerely, the kindness in his voice the reason why your eyes prick with tears.
You sniffled, using your free hand to wipe away a rogue droplet that freely falls down your cheek. Suguru adjusted his position so he was lying by your side. He didn't say anything but draws you into his chest for a hug, enveloping you in his warmth. You tried hard not to consider the reality of the situation, and accept the gesture freely as you cuddle him.
But the moment of peace is interrupted by a loud vibration. You and Suguru both perked up to stare at his phone buzzing on the side table.
Your heart sank.
Another client.
Suguru reached his arm around to grab the phone, and you closed your eyes to inhale his natural scent, trying to soak him in for as long as you can before he leaves you like he’s done many times before.
To your surprise he simply switched it off, before proceeding to wrap his arm back around you to return to his position.
“You sure you don’t need to take that?” you mumbled, trying to play off your disappointment as casually as possible.
“I’m booked out for the rest of the evening,” he answered nonchalantly, “there’s no reason to respond.”
A tickle in your belly sent sparks all over your skin. “but your cheque only covers the hours we agreed on…”
Two fingers touched the underside of your chin, and Suguru tilted your head up so you were both face to face again. “Don’t worry about it,” he consoled, his thumb lightly outlining your bottom lip, “this is on the house.”
What bliss it was to fall asleep in his arms that night. You recall waking up right before dawn to find him in deep slumber, his strong arm draped protectively across your body with the heat cocooning you from the rest of the world. 
Disappointment shattered you the next morning, when you were greeted by the sun and an empty bed.
You’re not sure when Suguru had snuck out, but you were puzzled to find that your cheque was still tucked away safely in your purse. 
It was the first time he walked away without any payment. 
You still vividly remember his reaction when he met you just a little over a year ago. 
“You’re young,” he blurted, his eyes widening with confusion. 
“We’re around the same age,” you replied defensively, already feeling insecure for having hired him after spending weeks watching his videos. You didn’t even know about his house calls until you heard it from a source within your social circle. "Is this how you greet all your clients?”
Suguru raised his brow in contemplation, “my other clients don’t look like you…”
Over time you learned that he catered to a specific demographic: older divorcees and cheating housewives.
The person you might turn into years from now if this marriage goes through.
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
After that night you told yourself that you would schedule another meeting with Suguru to compensate him for his last session.
Right now, all you can think about is your heart hammering when Suguru subtly interlaces his fingers with your own, and leads you through the crowd until you both find a safe spot on the corner of the lounge chair. His group is far too engrossed in their own conversations to notice you both, drunk on the buzzing night and enjoying the many amenities of this exclusive party. 
“You look nice,” you compliment, catching Suguru’s attention while trying to ignoring his knees bumping against yours.
“As do you,” he replies, his voice smoother than velvet. “But you don’t need me to tell you that you’re gorgeous.” 
Oh but I do, you think, masking your excitement with a giggle and casual roll of your eyes. I could hear you tell me that forever. 
Suguru shyly looks down at his lap, hiding his own smile. 
It’s strange, you think, how the two of you are talking. Like this man hasn’t been inside you multiple times and made you cum until you can’t think straight. Like he doesn’t know your body in the most intimate sense.
Like you don’t fund a decent chunk of his salary. 
“Are you enjoying the party?” 
Suguru shrugs, “It’s not too bad. Though, I’m not one for big crowds if I am being completely honest...” 
“Makes sense. I don’ get a kick out of it as much as I used to.”
Suguru angles his body to face you, giving you his full attention. “Why’s that?” 
You sigh, your hands suddenly feeling empty without a drink. You sling your purse off your shoulder and place it between you both, before proceeding to fiddle with the fabric of your dress instead. 
You can lie, but you don’t know how. 
Well, you don’t know how to lie with him. 
Something about starting this contract with Suguru unveiled a level of vulnerability in you that you can’t seem to hide. The first night you both spent together you were a nervous wreck, stumbling and bumbling over words trying to find excuse after excuse as to why a woman of your age would even hire him. By your third appointment, you asked if he could be slow and gentle with you, the emotional scars of your previous relationship a stinging wound. You were desperate for tenderness, and Suguru obliged with your request. By the end you found yourself reaching your climax with tears in your eyes. 
If you were to list out more moments like this, you would simply go on and on. 
You can’t hide your truth with Suguru when it was the first thing you’ve ever shown him. 
“Because it’s a constant reminder that I can be in a room full of people I know and still feel incredibly alone…” you mumble, your gaze catching his. 
His hand finds your thighs, the warmth of his large palm burning through the fabric of your dress. 
“You’re not alone tonight, sweetheart,” he reassures. 
“You don’t have to be so nice…” you insist, suddenly self conscious over his flattery. The same sweetness he bestows upon you when you’re both locked away in a hotel room somewhere, but you didn’t sign off on any bonus transactions tonight. 
He squeezes your thigh and tilts his head. “But I like being nice to you” 
He says it so matter of factly it almost makes you faint. 
Your brows upturn with confusion. “Why?” 
His touch expands upward, grazing over the curve of your thigh, bunching the material of your dress between his fingers. He leans closer, the scent of bergamot wafting up your nose and kissing your neck. 
“Look there,” he states, and you follow the line of his gaze. 
“That woman has been married for fifteen years and her husband never got her off once. And that woman…” he continues, shifting his eyes from body to body, “has a birth mark just above her hip bone. And at the table right behind us,” 
When you turn your face you accidentally bump into the tip of his nose. 
“...are two sisters who pretend they get along well but are currently in a massive fight over their inheritance” 
Your stomach coils with jealousy. “Acquaintances of yours?” 
 Suguru leans back slightly, giving you both room to breathe. 
“Yes, clients…” he confirms, “there’s a few of them here tonight, but you’re the only one who acknowledges me. I’m just a dirty little secret to the rest.” 
Your envy dwindles into sympathy, and you can’t help but let the question slip. 
“How does that make you feel?” 
There’s a twitch in Suguru’s jaw, a hint of scarred pride. You know he has plenty of it, he just hides it well.
The man shrugs, averting his sharp gaze as he downs the rest of his drink. “It is what it is” 
Oh, but that response doesn’t nothing to help your heart, the muscle practically screaming at your brain to do so something and make him feel better. 
Mindlessly, you loop both arms around his bicep, casually resting your chin on his shoulder. 
“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way...” 
You’re not sure why you’re apologizing, but you’re hoping it’ll mean something to him. He turns to face you, and if he inched a little closer he could probably kiss you. 
“You are an enigma to me” 
“In what way?” 
He brushes his lips past your own, making you catch your breath for a moment. His mouth trails its way up to your ear, and he whispers a sentence that sends goosebumps running all over your body. 
“In the way that how a woman like you can fit in a life like this” 
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
The night carries on, the pulse of hedonism sending reverberations across the establishment. The crowd grows larger, the air a potion of liquor, expensive cologne, sweat and pleasure. The lights dim, inducing everyone into the trance of the ambience set around them, allowing them to indulge and consume. Your conversation with Suguru feels like minutes, but two whole hours pass with the both you concealed from the crowd. You’re almost mesmerized by him when he talks, cast under an entirely different spell that seems to effect nobody else. His touches turn more intimate the longer you speak, with Suguru securing his arm around your waist and leaning back against the chair as he keeps you tucked into his frame. 
That’s another thing you started noticing - how this man likes to hold you. 
He even did it when you were in bed together last. 
And the time before that. 
And the time before that. 
And the time before that-
If you weren’t surrounded by so many eyes you would simply curl into him, but you find yourself restraining while thinking of what excuse might work to get you both out of here because you just want to be alone with him. 
“Can I get you a drink?” Suguru offers, a wave of disappointment rolling into you as he untangles himself slowly. 
“Just some water...” 
Suguru kisses the inside of your wrist with the reassurance that he’ll be right back, but the public display only makes your cheeks bloom with endearment. 
“Got it” 
When he stands up and walks away is when you notice how the crowd around you has dispersed. Most of Suguru’s party were gone - standing either by the bar or caught in the middle of the dance floor. You can see that there were a few shifty eyes staring at you, and a lump forms in your throat when you realize that by allowing yourself to melt into Suguru it meant that you revealed your weakness to the rest of the wild. 
You take a second to readjust - fixing the hem of your dress before pulling out your pocket mirror and reapplying your lipstick. You fight off any anxious thoughts, sticking a big metaphorical middle finger to whoever was watching you with any hint of judgement. 
Your care for Suguru outweighed their own by tons. 
You just didn’t know how far you had let your guard down until a strange shadow veils over you. 
“Red still looks good on you.” 
Your heart doesn’t sink, it seizes, collapses into itself when you drop the mirror in your hand. His dark chuckle makes your spine tingle with unease. Sukuna kneels to pick up your mirror, his devilish smiling greeting you as you swallow the lump in your throat. 
“What? Cat got your tongue?” He teases, huffing out another laugh when you snatch the pocket mirror from his hand and quickly throw your things back into your purse. 
“I have to go.” 
You bolt onto your feet, only to pause when his contact scorches your forearm. 
“What’s the rush? I’m just saying hi.” 
You shrug him off aggressively, eyes violent and full of fury. 
“I don’t want to say hi to you. As a matter of fact, I hope that we never have to speak again.”  
“C’mon doll, don’t be like that. It’s water under the bridge…” 
His nonchalance enrages in you ways that you can’t describe, but rather than make a scene you smoothly shove him aside before uttering “asshole” and storming off towards the bar. 
Your frantic eyes search for your solace, of the man who can suture any wound that’s in desperate need of healing. You spot him from behind, noticing that he is speaking to a friend, his shoulder leaning on the bar as he patiently waits to pick up the drinks like he promised. Refusing to look back because you know Sukuna is probably on your trail, you breathe out your apprehension to compose yourself and keep one hand securely on your purse before steadily making your way towards to Suguru. 
You hear the two of them as you draw closer,  unintentionally eavesdropping on the conversation at hand. 
“Who’s the chick?” his friend asks. 
“A friend.” Suguru replies. 
“Which friend?” they press. 
“None of your business…” 
“Ah, one of your desperate clients I’m guessing?” 
You cease before making your presence known.
Stunned; your face boiling with embarrassment. 
“Shut up.” 
“It’s so obvious, Suguru-” his friend scoffs, “she’s practically crawling on your lap. It’s fucking pathetic, don’t you think?” 
Pathetic?
The word splits you into half.
Is that how Suguru sees you? 
Is that how everyone else does to? 
Something clicks then, every memory and act of kindness tainted with the thought the man was simply pitying you. That the root of his good-hearted nature was merely sympathy towards a sad, broken little rich girl. 
Suguru picks up the drink, mumbling a “fuck off” before turning on his heel only to find you standing there stupefied by his friend’s demeaning commentary. Only an idiot would assume that you probably didn’t hear a thing, but Suguru is far smarter than that. Whatever trace of the mask he’s been wearing dissipates then, and you see the genuine concern on his face. He parts his lips but you’re too wounded for an explanation, and you instantly dash past both of them, excusing yourself politely before speed walking your way towards the exit. 
You can hear him call out your name, but there is no way you would let that man see you crying after what was just said. 
Of course he doesn’t like me, you self-consciously deliberate, I pay him to fuck me. 
I pay him to fucking like me. 
A sob leaves you, and you cover your mouth with the back of your hand as you rush past the bouncer and dart out the front door, leaving a crowd of people staring at you with confusion. All of them hoping to make their way inside.
“Must be drunk,” one person says, while another screams at the bouncer “hey, can you let us in?! Someone just left!” 
You strut down the street, desperately trying to maintain your balance as you dab your eyes lest your tears ruin your make up. You hear someone call out your name, half hopeful that it might Suguru but when you glance over your shoulder all you see is the dreadful sight of your ex-boyfriend. 
You keep walking.  “Don’t follow me.” 
Sukuna is quick to catch up, practically jogging down the street and you curse your choice in footwear for slowing you down. 
“Then don’t keep running away.” 
You halt, the man nearly colliding into you from behind. 
“What?!” you spit out as you glare up at him. “What do you want from me?” 
Sukuna arches his brow, the smell of whiskey sticking to him. “The fuck got you so worked up?” 
You wipe away any leftover tears, your indignation towards this man overriding all other emotions. 
“None of your fucking business…” 
Sukuna reaches for your elbow, “Let’s not be testy. My car is in front of the bar. Let me take you home.” 
You already caught that eye sore of a ridiculously expensive sports car when you stepped out of club. “I’d rather walk home barefoot on a bed of hot coals then go anywhere with you.” 
“Don’t be like that, kitten…”
“Don’t,” you snapped, “call me that.” 
“You know I still nothing but love for you, right?” He slurs mildly, “Let me take you back to my place and we can talk-”  
His thumb grazes your elbow gently. Once upon a time you actually believed that his affection was real, but you’re older and wiser to know the truth now. “You miss my pussy,” you crudely admonish, “you don’t give a fuck about me.” 
He pinches your elbow with mild irritation. “Why don’t you tuck those claws back. I’m trying to have a fucking conversation.” 
“If a conversation is what you want, then speak to your fucking wife-” you hiss, striking a cord that makes Sukuna furrow his brows which brings you an odd sense of satisfaction. 
His face falls. 
You huff with approval. 
“What?” your mock, “cat got your tongue?” 
“Is everything alright?” 
You and Sukuna both halt, your heads twisting to face whoever spoke with Sukuna letting go of you faster than you can even blink. You only catch a tiny glimpse of his fear, the terror that somebody caught him in the act. 
Thankfully, it was only Suguru. 
Your body hums with relief. 
One hand is in his pocket, the other keeping a helmet tucked under his wing. His stance is relaxed but his irises are piercing daggers sinking into Sukuna’s skull.
“Everything’s fine-” Sukuna insists. 
“Suguru,” you call out at the same time, instantly going to him and finding your place by his side.
The word pathetic hammers in the back of your mind but you need deal with one problem at a time, and right now you don’t care about looking desperate if it means escaping the shackles of Ryomen Sukuna. 
Suguru’s eyes don’t leave your ex-lover, but he inches closer towards you to assert his ground. 
Sukuna frowns, the expression on his face all too familiar. 
You clutch Suguru’s sleeve, “Nothing to fret over. Do you mind taking me home?” 
He turns to face you, a mixture of worry with a flare of anger on that handsome face.  
“Yeah, I’ll take you home.” 
“Tsk,” Sukuna grumbles with frustration, “Don’t cheapen yourself by fucking off with some whore…” 
A static shock trickles each point of the triangle where you all stand. The hair on the back of your neck stands upright, your attention moving to Suguru whose entire face darkens with a fury that you’ve never seen before. He steps forward, his helmet dropping to his hand like he’s ready to wield it as a weapon, and the target is the spot on Sukuna’s skull that he’s been carefully observing. Your vision goes white imagining the outcome of this blow out, and you can practically hear the crack of the impact if Suguru follows through. 
Despite how much he deserved it, you know just how powerful Sukuna is. 
He would ruin Suguru without any remorse. 
“Suguru,” you beg, stepping forward and clutching onto his shirt as you reel him away from the man before you. 
His nostrils flare, the intoxicating poison of wrath swirling in his irises which quickly diffuses upon finding you. 
“Take me home?” You softly repeat, earnest and sincere, all the while erasing Sukuna from your presence entirely. 
It only takes a few seconds for Suguru to register your request, but he complies by reaching for your hand and knotting his fingers between your own. He grips it protectively, eyes looking straight ahead as he leads you down the street and far away from the chaos behind you. 
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
The patter of your feet colliding onto the concrete surface echoes around you. A part of you is embarrassed, the other ashamed, a third grateful while a fourth shivers anxiously. You’re thankful that Suguru is at least allowing the silence to linger because it’s giving you a chance to settle from the roller coaster of emotions you just experienced. You try not to think about the pressure of his grip, or how the length of his fingers are wrapped securely around yours and instead piece together some semblance of an explanation worthy for him to listen to. 
You eventually decide that you’ll just grab a cab back to your place. That you’ll thank Suguru for playing the role of rescuer, and hand off the cheque that you’ve been holding onto. You won’t be a burden, bother him any longer or a do anything else to force his empathy. 
Suguru pauses in front of a jet black motorbike. The color itself blending into the darkness around you. You clear your throat ready to make your declaration, but you’re silenced when you feel the weight of his helmet press against your palms. 
“Wear this,” he commands. “I’ll take you to my place.” 
Your mouth goes slack, your practiced words shrinking to the back of your throat. 
His place. 
“Your place?” You find yourself whispering your thoughts out loud. 
Suguru reaches for the handle of his bike, tapping his index finger against it, his back facing you. “If you want.” 
He hops on before searching you for an answer. The look animates you back to reality and you nod your head before swiftly putting on the helmet. You find your place behind him, taking a second longer to adjust in your dress. You knot your arms around his waist, your eyes noting his exposed head. 
“You don’t have a helmet.” You point out. 
“I don’t live that far,” he answers back, “besides, I didn’t think I’d be traveling with precious cargo.” 
He taps his palm over your clasped hands. “Hold tight for me, alright?” 
You nod your head, covering your face with the shield visor before resting your cheek against his back. 
Suguru takes off. 
The wind whips against your bare arms, the pressure sweeping between your legs as Suguru swerves between each lane. The city blurs into vivid colors, only resurfacing when you come to an immediate halt at the traffic light. The adrenaline courses through your veins, the exhilarating sensation a thrill that you’ve never experienced before. Unfortunately, the journey was short lived and within twenty minutes you find yourself coming to a halt in an underground parking lot. 
Suguru parks the bike, hopping off before reaching his hand out to assist you. 
Your legs felt like jelly when it hits the surface, and you tumble on your own footing as Suguru reaches his other hand out to steady you by holding your waist. 
“You okay? Was I going to fast?” 
You take off the helmet, attempting to make yourself look somewhat presentable. 
“No, no” you answer a little breathless, “that…that was actually kind of fun…” 
“First time?”
You nod your head. 
Suguru hums. 
He takes the helmet away from you and directs you straight to the entrance of his apartment building. He pulls out an electronic key, and presses it against the elevator door. The elevator pings, the panels sliding open as you both step inside. Suguru clicks the button to his floor and you both stand on opposite sides watching the numbers go up.
Suguru lived in a newer development, you could tell when you walked through the hallway as he stands in front of his apartment door, and uses the same key to grant you both entrance. 
As you enter the hallway, you’re greeted by a wall with mounted iron hooks. There’s five to be exact, each one holding a different helmet with one space empty. Suguru fits the helmet back onto the vacant spot, before glancing over his shoulder and finding you still by the door struggling to take off your heels. 
He returns and kneels before you. His hands carefully moving your fingers away. 
“Let me help with that” 
“You don’t have to-” but you’re interrupted with him patting his thigh in gesture. 
You bite your bottom lip and place one foot against him, careful not to dig your heel into him. 
He delicately unravels the straps around your ankle and slips of the heel with a brush to the back of your calf, making the muscle twitch. 
“Other foot,” he instructs, then repeats. 
After placing your shoes neatly by the door, he stands up and reaches for your hand once more. “This way” 
You take it warmly, and follow him while trying your best not to acknowledge the noticeable height difference with you two standing side by side.
You never paid much attention to it before, you didn't have too really considering you both spent most of your time together in parallel positions. 
Suguru leads you into the living room, and a small gasp escapes you when you are met with floor to ceiling windows. The horizon is of the city skyline, but it’s half blocked by a decent size balcony which is covered in greenery. The scene contrasts the inside of Suguru’s apartment, which is more minimal. To your right is a small dining nook, the light above an accent piece that added some detail to the decor. To your left is a small furniture set, the sage green fabric making you avert your gaze with shame because your recognized that very same couch in most of Suguru’s videos. 
You find yourself quickly staring at your feet. 
“Can I get you anything to drink? Water? Tea?” 
“Tea would be great,” you answer back, returning to look directly at him from underneath your lashes. “Do you have anything herbal?” 
“Mhmm.” 
You follow him into the kitchen and realize that the man keeps his place meticulously clean. The back counter is what catches your attention the most. Suguru has a full serviced at home barista station set up for his own convenience. You pick out the coffee grinder, espresso machine, assortment of tea pots, jars of fresh leaves and coffee bags all neatly organized. 
Suguru pulls out one jar with a hand written label that reads "lemon balm and chamomile". 
You slip off your purse and place it on the counter behind him. “Did you make all these yourself?” 
“My parents used to run a tea shop in Hokkaido,” he answers back. 
“A tea shop?” You squeak, a little too excited from the morsel of information about his personal life that he just bestowed. “That must have been lovely…” 
“It was,” he answers, his voice growing small. 
You watch him fill the kettle with water, before placing it on the electric stove to warm up. He opens the jar, closing the gap of space between you both and lifts it to your nose. 
“Take a deep breath in,”
You oblige, and inhale. 
“Oh my,” you sigh out loud, your fingers subconsciously clasping over his own as your eyes flutter from the aroma of citrus, ginger, flora and subtle spice. It calms every firing nerve in your body. “That smells wonderful” 
When you open them again, you see that Suguru is looking at you thoughtfully. 
“It tastes good too,” he says proudly, and your heart glows at the reaction. “I was a terrible night owl as a kid. Still am, I guess. My mom used to make this to help me go to sleep…” 
“That’s really sweet,” you admit, wondering how lovely it must be to be looked after with such care. 
He slips away again, taking a spoon and putting a generous amount of the blend into a ceramic tea pot. You hear the tea bubble lightly, but your head spins as Suguru cages you in place while you both wait for it to reach the right temperature. Your back is against the counter, his arms by your side. 
“That guy you were talking to. Who was that?” He questions, cutting right to the chase. 
“Nobody important,” you confess, “he’s an asshole.”
“Tell me about it.” 
“I’m sorry about what he said to you. What he called you…”  
Suguru’s fingers dig into the counter, making the muscles in his arms flex with irritation. 
“Don’t apologize for him. Don’t apologize for any of them.” He firmly maintains. “Their words are empty to me...” 
“You almost bashed his head in,” you point out, a tiny smile easing the tension binding around the man before you. 
“I almost bashed his head because of the way he spoke to you-” 
Your eyes widen. 
Was he being protective? You think, but shake your head when you think of what kind of pitiful state you must have been that would cause Suguru to react in such a way. 
Pathetic. 
Your shoulders dwindle slightly and you shake it off to gather yourself once more. 
“He was a terrible mistake. I was young, and stupid. I thought I knew better when I really had no fucking clue…” 
You didn’t realize how bitter you sounded until two fingers press underneath your jaw.
His thumb taps your chin in a featherlight touch. “Is it over? Whatever it was?” 
“Of course,” you answer, the truth acrid on your tongue. “I’m to marry Naoya Zen’in, remember?”
Suguru frowns. “He’s no better. I told you that myself.” 
You circle your hand around his wrist. “I’ll take anyone over Sukuna. Even if that person is Naoya…” 
“Why can’t you just choose?” 
You press your lips together and sigh. “Because it’s a transaction. I’m a token in my father’s universe. If he weds me off to the Zen’in’s then it’s profitable. Good for business…” 
“I’m sure if you speak with him, he’ll understand-” 
“Don’t be so naive,” you answer as you return to meet his gaze. “My father doesn’t love me. He just owns me. I spent most of my adolescence alone while he was busy working or galavanting off with his mistress.  I think he assumed that if he kept shoving money my way, I wouldn’t notice his absence…” 
The kettle sings, making you both jump in place as the water bubbles aggressively and a small spiral of steam releases from the lip. Suguru returns to making your beverage. Picking up the kettle and pouring the hot water into the pot. He places it on a tray, along with a beautiful cup. 
“The tea needs a couple of minutes to steep. In the meanwhile, I’m going to change into something more comfortable.” He announces, “You want some spare clothes?” 
You look down at your designer frock, the material snug on your body. 
“Yeah, I’d like that” 
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
You stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Suguru’s white shirt falls to your mid thigh, the material a little see through and revealing the bra you had on underneath. You eye the pair of worn boxers he handed to you to wear as shorts, but slyly tuck your bottom lip between your teeth before leaving it behind and walking out with your bare legs on display. 
You’re not quite sure what the plan is here, but you don't see yourself leaving anytime soon.
You head back towards the kitchen where you pick up your purse, your dress folded between your hands carefully. Suguru is opening the door to the balcony, having changed into a cut sleeve shirt that exposes his arms and a hint of his ribs, as well as a pair of loose shorts. When he hears you enter, his attention instantly falls to your plush thighs, a hint of crimson blushing his cheek. 
“Where can I keep my stuff?” You ask innocently, pretending to ignore his reaction. 
“Anywhere is fine,” he answers back, his voice thick. 
He tells you that he’ll wait for you outside, and in the meantime you put down your stuff onto the coffee table in front of his sofa.
You unzip your purse, Suguru’s cheque staring you at you with wide, scolding eyes. 
Pathetic. 
You furrow your brows at the voice inside your head, and swipe the payment before folding it and tucking it securely against your hip underneath the waistband of your underwear. 
You head outside, sliding the window close behind you. 
Suguru is sitting on a deck chair, the two of you camouflaged by the array of his overgrown plants. He pours your cup of tea, the aroma twirling between the current of the wind as he offers it your way. You pick it up, bringing it to your lips and taking a sip. A heavy sigh escapes you, and you remain standing leaning back against the cool glass surface as you stare out into the distance. 
“Like it?” Suguru asks, and you only notice then that he has also brought out a second cup for himself and is pouring his own drink. 
“It’s divine,” you respond. 
“I’m glad” 
The two of you sit in silence once more, mindlessly sipping your tea while contemplating the other person. You’re both at a clear standstill, carefully tiptoeing over the boundary that has so been strictly set in place. 
A reminder of that is the folded cheque digging into your skin. 
“How did you find out about contacting me?” Suguru randomly wonders. 
You look towards him and he shrugs before adding on, “I never asked. I find myself curious.” 
You thrum your nails against the glass cup, taking another sip of your tea before replying, “I saw you at a party with Satoru. I was with a group of friends, and one of them noticed me recognizing you. She asked if I was…familiar with your work. And when I told her I was she informed me that you both were…intimate.” 
“Was it Mei?” 
Your face falls at the blatant disregard of confidentiality. 
“How-How did you know?” 
Suguru huffs, and sips his tea. 
“She’s the only other client I had close to our age. Wasn’t hard to make the connection…” 
“Can I ask you a question?” 
“Go for it,” he replies. 
“I’ve always been curious as to how you wound up doing what you do,” you bite your bottom lip nervously, your hands trembling slightly holding your glass and you hope that Suguru wouldn’t notice your sudden unease. 
“Ah,” he acknowledges, his free hand moving to rub the back of his neck and you can’t help but sneak a peak at his abdomen from the side. “Well, I told you how I wound up making the videos. For a long time I just did solo work, but I knew I could make more money if I had on-screen partners to film with. I had a few good connections with some actresses and hired a friend to make a video with me…” 
You knew exactly which one he was talking about. 
The actress in question was well known, and the video was an amateur clip that was filmed on the very same couch that you walked passed earlier. 
You clench your thighs together. 
You don’t even want to admit how many times you came to that particular video. 
“I didn’t know it would blow up in the way that it did. Shoko and I made a killing off it. We both saw the potential and we wound up doing six full episodes - trying out different techniques, roleplaying in a few…” 
“But you stopped posting after that…” 
Suguru pauses. “How would you know that?” 
You swallow a big gulp of tea. 
“I might have been a big fan of your work before we met.” 
“Really?” He answers with a slight tilt of his head, clearly very amused. 
“I wouldn’t have reached out to just anyone, you know. But I was really interested in...your work, and when I learned about your little side gig. I couldn’t resist…” 
“Well, color me flattered, sweetheart.” 
You swirl the last bits of tea in your cup. 
“So, why did you stop posting?” 
“I kept the videos up. They’re good and I still make revenue with every ad or view. Satoru’s career was picking up around that time, and he had just gotten clean. He needed somebody to hold him accountable so I started tagging along at his events. I didn’t realize how many people would recognizeme. My first client wasn’t even "a client", he gestures with air quotes, "she was just some woman I met and slept with. I woke up the next morning to an empty hotel room. All that she left behind was an envelope of cash…” 
He pauses. 
“I didn’t know what to feel. A part of me was insulted but another part had never seen that much money handed over so easily. The videos were great but what I earned in a day, is what I got in just a few hours. I was in my mid-twenties, just left the brink of making ends meet and desperate for security. I deposited the cash and kept going. Somehow it snowballed into…” he gestures his arms out, “this.” 
He pours himself another cup of tea. “At first I was a little reckless. Took on too many clients it damn near gave me a health scare. So, I started spacing them out. Keeping to a set number a month and maintaining a high price. I didn’t think that so many people would actually pay for my services, but they do...and I'm comfortable.” 
“Does it ever overwhelm you?” 
“Not anymore. Keeping my partners to a minimum helps. I’m safe and get tested regularly, as I mentioned when we first met,” He lifts the teapot your direction to offer you a second cup, and you accept it by approaching him and allowing him to fill your glass. 
“The thing is I went from never knowing when I was going to eat to having three meals a day. I don’t think I’d change that for the world…” 
“What about your family? Your friends?” You find yourself mindlessly asking. "How do they feel about this?"
“Satoru and Shoko are the only ones who know. Everyone else thinks it’s porn that funds my life. As for my family,” Suguru stops, his voice scratchy as he quickly clears his throat. “Well, they don’t have to worry about it. My parents passed away when I was fifteen. It's just been me ever since”  
The tea burns your lip  and your body trembles at the statement. 
“I’m so sorry…” 
He shrugs his shoulder nonchalantly. 
There’s a heaviness in the air, and despite how hard he’s trying to hide it you can see how the memory tears him apart. 
“My mom passed away giving birth to me,” you find yourself disclosing to even the scale, “I think that’s probably why my father resents me so much. He never got a son, and lost his wife in the process” 
“I’m sorry to hear that too…” 
You mirror his shrug. “It’s weird. I find myself curious about her - but there’s a detachment when I look at her. Sometimes I think about how different my life might be if she was still around. Or, if she was just like my father and everything would still be the same…” 
“Well, since we are speaking of hypotheticals,” Suguru moves on, shifting the topic as he angles his body more in your direction. “If you had the freedom to whatever you wanted, what would you do?” 
“Me?” You gasp, shocked by his pointed question. 
He smiles an easy smile, “I don’t see anybody else around.” 
You hum thoughtfully. “This might take a minute…” 
He places his cup of tea on the tray by his side and then pats his free hand on his thigh. 
“C’mere and think.” 
Your heart flies up your throat, pulsing just at the base. “You want me to sit on your lap?” 
Suguru nods his head. 
You gulp down the vessel, returning it back to its place. You glide your way towards him, placing the tea cup just next to his own, before settling down onto his lap. 
Suguru wraps his arm around your waist, securing you close into his frame. 
“Do you hold your other clients like this?” 
He shakes his head no. 
“So, you like holding me…” you bluntly point out, “why’s that?” 
Suguru’s face is directly in front of yours, so beautiful you can almost faint right here in his arms. He fingers dig into your waist, his other arm curving over your thigh and gently drawing circles on your hip. 
“Because you fit nicely against me” 
A swarm of butterflies take flight, making you feel lighter than air. You swear he might kiss you then but instead he returns to his question. “So, tell me what would you do?” 
The answer comes to you far easier than you think. From the moment you saw him tonight, you know the truth in the depths of your heart. “I’d like to run away with you,” you confess before stuttering out, “or-or at least somebody like you. Someone who is kind and sweet and thoughtful...”
Suguru leans back against the chair, lifting up one leg and adjusting your positions. He’s careful not to kick the tray with the tea. 
“And where would we go?” 
You sling your arms around his neck, “anywhere - anywhere but here.” 
Suguru slides his palm over the slop of your rear, slipping it underneath the fabric of his shirt and tracing a line over the dimples on your lower back.
“What would we do?” 
“We could lay outside just like this and watch the stars.” 
He hums, “we don’t get any stars out here in the city...”
“No, we don’t.” 
“What else would we do?” 
His other hand starts to unbutton the front of your shirt, revealing the details of the lace underneath. He cups your right breast, his lips shifting to find your neck. 
“We’d do this too,” you sing merrily. 
“Look at stars and fuck our brains out?” He teases, his teeth nipping at your skin. “Sounds like a dream to me…”
He gropes the fat of your breast, unknotting every single secret. “what else?” 
“We’ll sleep all day, and kiss until we’re bored of one another…” 
The hand on your breast moves to circle your neck, Suguru’s thumb massaging the column. 
“I’d never grow bored kissing you-” 
Your body renders against his touch. “Suguru,” you moan, your lips seeking his own. 
Before you can even meet for the kiss, he mumbles your name and follows up with the claim: “you should run away with me.” 
You giggle, still living in the proposed fantasy. “I’m trying to…” 
“I’m being serious” 
The tone of his voice is the reason why you stop to kiss him, pulling away to face the man before you. 
There's no denying the truth on his face - he is actually quite serious about the declaration. 
You hear the dreaded word once more: pathetic. Pathetic because this man is an expert at fulfilling fantasies, is a professional when it comes to healing the hearts of the lonely.
Pulling yourself out of this delusional imagination, you push off him before standing up straight. 
“That’s not funny, Suguru” 
“Who says I’m being funny?” He responds sincerely. 
“What is this? What are we doing? What am I doing? You can’t just-” you lament, pressing your forehead to hand in disbelief as you enter the confines of his apartment, taking a second to breathe. “You can’t just say things like that-” 
He calls out your name again, but the kraken has already been released. 
He follows, tracking into his abode right behind you, all the while watching you stand in the middle of his living room with your quivering hands reaching for the waistband of your underwear.  
“This was a terrible idea. I shouldn’t have-I shouldn’t have gone through with all of this,” you yank out the cheque, showing it to him. “You don’t have to take pity on me. I know I’m just another desperate, pathetic client, alright? I promise you don't have to keep putting up with me and my drama after this. And you sure as hell don't have to keep giving me these mixed messages which only confuse me. I can’t have things getting complicated right before this engagement is about to happen. So, here. Take this cheque and let’s just forget everything else about tonight.” 
Suguru stands there, pensive. His eyes look to the folded paper in your hand, his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath. Instead of reaching for the paper, he simply walks past you, making you spin on your heel as you follow his movements with sheer bewilderment. 
He heads towards the shelf behind you and pulls out a tiny box. He removes something from it, before walking back and facing you once more. 
“Shit got complicated about eight cheques ago, sweetheart,” he negates, holding the thin stack papers between his two fingers as he brings it to your face. His eyes fall to to the crumpled one you are currently holding, “Well, counting the one in your hand, I’d say nine...” 
You can’t believe it.
You pick up the wad and sift through each paper; each cheque one of yours, the date issued a reflection of your last nine meetings with Suguru. 
None of them cashed in. 
“Why do you still have these?” 
Two hands find your waist, your forearms fall into Suguru’s chest as you stare mindlessly at the cheques fanned out between your fingers. 
“I didn’t have it on my conscious to deposit them once I realized my feelings for you. I'm sorry about what you heard earlier, but what Mahito said doesn't apply to you at all,” he responds. “You stopped being a client to me for quite some time...” 
You look up at him. 
His touch tightens around your waist. “You can’t marry Naoya. Or, you shouldn’t. But if you do, I don’t want us to stop seeing one another. We can work something out…”
“Suguru,” you pine, dropping the papers in your hand, each one twirling onto the ground, thousands at your feet. 
His lips catch yours in a subtle peck, all before circling over your bottom lip and sucking on the plush base. He slides his tongue between your lips, feeling yourcrumple into him as the paper crinkles beneath your feet. You moan feeling the sensation of his tongue slide across yours - he tastes like running across a field of chamomile flowers, like you’re holding a basket of fresh, ripe lemons. 
Like you're savoring the most beautiful sunrise. 
His hands return to finish unbuttoning your shirt, shrugging the material off your shoulders and exposing your expensive lingerie set. He grips your hips, your ass - his touch hungry before pressing his pelvis closer to your frame so you can feel his aching member beneath his shorts. 
You squeak into another kiss when he swiftly picks you up from the back of your thighs and carries you across the living room. 
He places you onto his sofa like you’re made of porcelain, keeping you on the edge as he kneels to the ground, his knees sinking into the rug. Two hands find your inner thighs which he pushes apart to reveal the pretty triangle fabric covering your sweet cunt. He kisses your clit over the material. Once, twice, three times…until you’re sighing into the pillow behind you. His tongue drags up, pressing your clothing against your sex, one hand drawing upward to find yours which he holds lovingly. His index and middle finger hook underneath your underwear, and he tugs it aside to reveal your slick coated pussy. 
He kisses your clit again, leaving a path down your damp lips which only makes you moan angelically. 
“This is why I’d never get bored kissing you,” he coos, “You sound like heaven whenever I do...”
Your only response is a vowel, your hand holding onto Suguru’s for dear life as he returns to eat out with such devotion it almost brings tears to your eyes. You pant softly, his wet tongue making you weep between your legs and he gathers your essence and swallows it to parch his craving. You whine feeling the snap of your underwear pinch into your skin when Suguru lets go of the material to mold his palm over the slope of your pelvis. His thumb strokes the back of your hand, his tongue sinking between your wet folds, lips suckling on the petals of your cunt. 
Your hips arch off the sofa, desperate for friction, but Suguru pins you firmly back down. 
“Easy, easy…” he appeases, “don’t cum just yet. Hold off f’me, just for a little bit…” 
He’s never asked because there was never a reason to. For the most part, he was always there to service you. Allowed you to use his body to get you off as many times as you so desired. 
Your voice breaks, “okay,” you answer, drawing out a long exhale when he dives back in. 
The hand on your pelvis climbs up the steps of your ribs, reaching for band of your bra right at the middle. He curls his finger over the boning, and tugs the material allowing your breasts to spill free. He finds the bud of your nipple and tweaks it between his finger, pinching and pulling the aching nub until your writhing beneath him. 
He slurps and sucks, while you moan and whimper, forcing yourself to hold off for as much as your can but you find that it’s far harder to do when your lower belly quakes as it sits on the brink of release. 
“Suguru, Suguru…” you beg, reaching your free hand to your breast and clenching over his fingers. “Suguru, I can’t-m’gonna cum if you don’t stop…” 
He groans against your cunt, pulling away from your pulsing core and letting go of your hand to wipe the dampness off his chin. 
He licks his lips, drunk off lust and of how you taste. 
He keeps his body upright, drags your legs to secure them around his waist as he straightens your back. His hands unhook your bra from behind, the scent of you strong on his lips as he leans up for a kiss. Your hands fall to his shoulders, your belly fluttering as your sex begs for more stimulation. 
Suguru loosens the bra, allowing it to fall to your elbows before kneading your breasts - his thumb swipes back and forth over your nipples. He devours your cry, wolfs down every panting breath as he moans into the kiss. Your hands slip underneath his shirt, taking in the lines of strong abdomen.
“Take if off,” you plead between breaths, “Take it off, please…” 
Suguru listens, breaking apart from the kiss to toss his shirt to the side while you slip off your bra. Your lover’s hand finds your waist, his fingers pinching into the soft flesh. He leans forward to kiss the side of your neck, making a path down the curve and across the field of your décolletage. 
“You’re gorgeous,” he murmurs into your breast, his lips snagging your nipple as his tongue rolls over the bud.
Your fingers curl around the back of his head, loosening his bun as you untie the knot. His hair falls like waterfall, the strands tickling your bare skin. Suguru’s hand slips between your legs, his middle and forefinger meeting your clit. You hiss at the contact, sinking your teeth between your bottom lip when Suguru sucks on your breast while simultaneously drawing circles on the bundle of nerves between your legs. 
Your breath grows heavier, your hips bucking into him from the sensation of his touch. 
“Feels good,” you mumble, “feels so good with you…”   
He shivers, relieving your breast as his lips search for your own. 
He adds more pressure between your legs, increasing the speed while your tongues dance. When your thighs noticeably quiver he slows down, pinching your clit between his fingers as he softly pecks your cheek. 
“The condoms are in my room…” 
Your sharp nails scratch the back of his neck lightly, “I have one in my purse.” 
Suguru nods feverishly, reaching back to the coffee table and rummaging through your purse. He picks out the shiny wrapper, and stands up to take off his shorts. 
“Wait, can I?” You request, gazing up at him with glittering eyes. 
Suguru swallows hard, and nods his head. 
Your eyes dilate rolling his shorts down, focusing on the tent in the fabric and watching his cock spring free and lightly smack his lower belly. Suguru brings the condom to his lips and rips it open with his teeth, but his eyes flutter when your perfectly manicured hands glide up the length of his shaft. 
You trace the prominent vein, your thumb swiping over the pre-cum beading over  the angry tip. You lick your lips, leaning closer to kiss the base and listening to Suguru sigh. 
You’ve only given him a blow job once before, and that was because you asked if you could. Suguru sets no expectations for himself when it comes to work, but that doesn’t mean that you haven’t fantasized about giving him head countless times. 
You wrap your fingers around his length and stroke mildly, your lips fanning over  his cock before reaching the tip. 
“Sweetheart, don’t-” Suguru murmurs in an attempt to stop you, but you’re already enclosing your lips around the head and pressing your tongue over the slit. 
His head falls back as you suck, a curse leaving him. 
You move slowly at first, dragging your tongue back and forth as you stroke the base. Sukuna was far rougher with you when you went down on him, but Suguru is allowing you to take him at your own pace. Inch by inch, until you were bobbing your head back and forth, strings of saliva webbing off his cock and sticking your lips. 
He thrusts once, not rough enough to hurt but the jerk catches you by surprise. 
You carefully release him, mindlessly wiping your bottom lip and the sight makes his cock twitch. 
Suguru pulls the condom out, and rolls it over his shaft. 
He settles onto the empty seta by your side, and you crawl over the expanse of his gorgeous, chiseled body to kiss him once again. 
His circles his fingers around his cock, his other hand guiding your hip as he aligns the tip to your entrance. Your nail nicks his pec when he pushes against the hole, your mouth circling over his own as you lower down his shaft. 
He fills you up so, so good. Makes your body vibrate with unshakeable desire. 
He groans until he bottoms out , the hand on your hip dipping down from your pubis to your lower belly like he’s trying to outline how deep he actually is before returning it back in place and securing his other hand on the opposite hip. 
Your breasts flatten against his chest, your hands holding on to his strong shoulders for support as you roll our hips.
Suguru works in tandem with your rhythm to fuck you passionately. 
His lips find yours once again for a final kiss, before the two of you get caught up in the moment when he swiftly picks up the pace. 
His hips arch violently, while yours sink - your bodies moving silk. 
“Unghh, oh god, yes-yes-yes~” you moan. 
Suguru’s grip almost feels painful, you know for a fact that he’ll be marking your hips with a few bruises. “Gonna cum-” he rasps, “s-shit, I’m fucking close-fucking close-” 
Your pussy tightens, practically holds his dick in a death grip that makes release a broken moan. His cock contracts upon his release, the sensation bringing you to the edge of yours as the muscles in your lower belly and inner thighs spasm around him. You leave crescents on his skin, your bodies shaking as you both take a second to breathe coming down from your climax. 
You collapse into him, his arms circling behind you, with his racing heart pulsing into your own. He moves so you’re laying side by side, your body sandwiched between him and the couch since he takes up most of the room. You rest your cheek against his shoulder, feeling him grow soft inside you.
Your stuttering breath finally finds a resting poin when he brings your hand and holds it against his heart. 
“Where do we go from here?” You whisper with a kiss to his neck. 
“Whatever you decide, we’ll figure out.” Suguru answers sincerely. 
“I can’t marry Naoya,” you admit out loud, shocked for actually saying it for the very first time. “And I can't share you with anyone else - it already kills me having to do so.” 
Suguru looks down at you, a reassuring smile resting on his lips. “There won’t be anyone else.” 
“I can't just...leave. I can't just drop everything and walking away. It isn’t going to be easy-” you add on, “It’ll take me some time.” 
“I can wait” 
“It might get messy…” 
“When is it ever not?” 
“But we’ve never been in a relationship-” you insist, logic breaking through the barrier of your happiness. “How do we know if this will even work out properly? What if this thing between us fades?” 
“I guess we’re both taking a gamble here…” 
You both stare into the other’s eyes. 
“Do you think it’s worth the risk?” You ask. 
Suguru’s face softens but he leans forward to kiss your forehead. 
“I think it’s worth a try.” 
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
TWO YEARS LATER
“You running out on Naoya on your wedding night is still the hot topic.” Kento explains over the phone, “People kept bringing it up, and for whatever reason they just can't seem to get over it.” 
The guilt in your stomach twists into a very small knot, over time the size of it has shrunk to a point where you not longer carry any remorse regarding your scheming behavior. 
You had a plan, and the plan worked. 
"Let's not forget who was there to help..." you contend, disregarding the negativity surrounding your decision.
After you and Suguru spoke, you decided to carry on the facade, agreeing to the engagement and soon after the wedding with Naoya Zen'in. All the while you and Suguru were busy planning your way to cut and run. He cashed in your unsigned checks, and you pilfered a decent amount of the wedding budget which you kept into a seperate savings account.
You played the role as obedient daughter well, and no one was the wiser. 
“Besides, I maintain that it's still the best decision I ever made,” you reply, stepping out of your room and into the kitchen where you are greeted by the sound of clinking dishes.  
Your eyes shift to Suguru - his hair far longer now, flowing beautifully down his back, the front layers tied into a small bun. You smell dinner in the air, and your stomach grumbles with anticipation. 
Nanami doesn't reply, but you can hear that he's distracted from the television in the background. 
“What are you watching?” you ask your friend. 
The man simply sighs. 
“Nothing.” 
“Doesn’t sound like nothing with that reaction. Is it Satoru’s new drama show?” 
At the mention of his best friend you notice your lover glance over his shoulder, quietly tilting his head to direct you towards him. You smile his way, your feet pattering against the hardwood floor as you move closer to him. He bundles one arm around your shoulder, keeping you close while continuing to sauté the vegetables in the pan. 
He kisses the top of your head. 
“It’s all the rage,” you add on to your phone call, “Suguru and I plan on watching the next episode tonight.” 
Kento remains quiet. 
You release yourself from Suguru’s grasp, and instead hop onto the kitchen counter right next to him.
He reduces the heat and picks up the lid before covering the pan. 
“I’m guessing you two haven’t-” 
“No,” Kento curtly replies. “Not since that night…” 
“I’m sorry” 
“Don’t be,” he responds with frustration. “I screwed it up” 
“You know I could just ask Sugu too reach out-” 
“ Don’t,” Kento sighs regrettably. “It doesn’t matter. I heard he’s moved on” 
You quirk your brow, your eyes shifting to Suguru who was back to chopping some fresh herbs. 
“Oh?” 
“It’s for the best I guess,” Kento reassures. “He should be happy with whoever-the-fuck he chooses.” 
“You deserve happiness too, Kento.” 
“You can be happy for the both of us,” he replies, gulping down a drink. “Anyway, I’ve got to go. I’m meeting my lawyer for dinner.” 
“When are you going to visit us next?” 
“Probably around November, December. I just need a few things to ease up on my end-” 
You bite your bottom lip, “I look forward to it.” 
“Take care, love” 
“You too, Ken.” 
You hang up the phone and lean your head against the cupboard as you watch Suguru rinse his hand, a trail of crimson spiraling down the faucet.  
“I cut my finger” 
You pick up a clean towel by your side, and gesture him towards you. 
Suguru extends his thumb out, and you curl the fabric over to keep pressure on the small cut. 
“You ought to be careful” 
“Your legs are a distraction,” 
You stare up at him playfully, and he leans down to kiss the corner of your lips. 
“How’s Nanami?” 
Your lover is indebted to your friend. If it wasn’t for Nanami, the two of you wouldn’t have been able to set up this comfortably. He’s the one who found you the humble two-story abode in Hokkaido, and was also the person who set up your personal bank accounts while ensuring that you would both have a safe and quick getaway on the night of your almost-wedding. 
“Fine, I think-” you reply, before removing the towel to check the damage. Thankfully, it wasn't anything serious. A little deeper than a paper cut.“Licking his wounds over a broken heart, but fine.” 
Suguru reaches for the drawer next to you, and pulls out the emergency band aids. You reach for the box in his hand, taking out one and removing the plaster from the back. You secure it around his cut, and Suguru holds your fingers between his. 
He arches down to kiss your brow. “Thank you, sweetheart.” 
“You’re welcome, handsome” 
“Dinner will be ready in a few if you want to set the table” 
You nod your head in acknowledgement, and drop down onto the ground before proceeding with your task.
You set the place mats down, a bowl for the soup and another for the rice and cooked vegetables. Your finger traces the rim of the one in front of your seat, a tiny chip from when you accidentally dropped it in the sink while cleaning it a few weeks ago. 
Fragments of these blemishes are all around you - making you almost forget that you once lived in a perfect, curated bubble. But you would take these flaws over everything else. These markings may be worn, but they are a reminder of the home you've been building.
A home that is entirely yours. 
“Baby, you want a drink?” Suguru calls from the kitchen. 
“Melon soda, please” you reply, placing the bowl down. 
“We’re out, I’ve got to pick some up tomorrow.” 
“What are you having?” 
“A beer,” he chuckles, and it sends a tremor of joy between the valves of your heart. 
“I’ll share yours” 
Suguru pulls out the bottle, cracking the cap off as he pops it using the side of the kitchen counter to do so. 
You two meet each other halfway in the space that you've been nesting in. Suguru’s eyes never leave yours when he takes the first sip, and once done he passes the chilled bottle towards you.
“Am I ever going to have you back in the kitchen helping me with dinner?” 
You shake your head no, and bite at the lip of the bottle before taking a sip. “I thought we agreed I was a hazard after the raw chicken fiasco and the almost-fire debacle…” 
He laughs, “no, you agreed. I said it wasn’t a big deal” 
“You just said that because you love me,” you respond, pressing the bottle into his chest as he takes it from your hand. 
“That goes without saying…” he answers, slinging his arm around your waist and pulling you into his frame. 
You lift yourself up on your toes, and kiss his nose. 
“Do you think it’s worth the risk of me attempting to cook for you again?” You whisper against his lips. 
Suguru smiles, a hand cupping your cheek as he leans forward to seal his reply with a  kiss. 
“I think it’s worth the try” 
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
tag list: @rottiens @an-ever-angry-bi @mononijikayu @brownskinnedgirll
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fatuismooches · 2 years
Note
Could you please write about the Harbingers and their voice lines for the reader? Like them telling the traveler about you and stuff :)
♡𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬’ 𝐕𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 ♡
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synopsis: The Traveler expected the Harbingers to be cold and ruthless in pursuing whatever the Fatui's goals were. Hearing their loving voice lines on you was certainly the opposite of what they predicted.
includes: all harbingers (platonic pulcinella) w/ gn! reader
notes: I've wanted to do something like this for a while. It was rather cute and fun to write! Includes five voice lines about you for each Harbinger.
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Pierro:
About You - His Lover:
“So you’ve already met [Name], Traveler? I’m not surprised, they like to talk to people, especially when they see me speaking to others. They’re quite energetic and bouncy, aren’t they? But I can’t say I dislike that about them. They are a bright light in my life.”
Chat - Walks:
“Much of our time spent together is on walks outside in Sneznhaya, with the snow gently melting on us. It’s a rather simple activity to most, but irreplaceable to both of us. I hope, after everything is said and done, I can take them on walks in other places.”
About Your Patience:
“They never comment on it, but I know they get lonely without me. For most of the day, they do not see me due to my work, and even when they try to stay up late for my return, they end up falling asleep sometimes. I truly wish I could spend more time with them. But I know, after fulfilling the Tsaritsa’s dream, I will give them everything and more.”
Something To Share - Meals:
“I don’t think about what I eat or when I do very often. It doesn’t matter much to me, but [Name] clearly disagrees. Instead of the maids preparing my meals, they started cooking everything for me and adding little notes too. It’s very endearing of them, but I don’t think I’ll ever live it down when the other soldiers saw me eating heart-shaped cookies with smiley faces on them…”
About You - A Second Home:
“I remember the destruction of my homeland clearly. It is something I will never forget. But even though I have only a small portion of time with them, they never fail to make me feel… content. With them, I can forget about everything, even if it is just for a few minutes. Heh, sometimes I foolishly wish they lived in Khaenri’ah with me for a bit, if only to experience a normal life with them.”
Capitano:
About You - His Lover:
“There is nothing I cherish more than [Name]. Many people often comment on our relationship, after all, we are quite different in all aspects. But I have them to thank for many things. They have taught me many things I could have never learned on my own.
Chat - Souvenirs:
“Traveler, you have been to many nations for extended periods of time. Would you share some items that would make good souvenirs? I always make sure to bring something back for them. If you have any recipes to share, that would be greatly appreciated as well. Whenever I am back home, [Name] always insists on having all of our meals together.”
A Special Item - The Kamera:
“You must be wondering why someone like me carries around something like this. I never cared for the device until [Name] told me about it and asked me to take photos on my expeditions. I guess I’ve unintentionally become a master without knowing it because they always praise the pictures I take when they organize them in their scrapbook.”
Something To Share - Smiles:
“I am not adept at smiling at all, or very expressive in general, something [Name] has an issue with. Oftentimes, they sit on my lap and try to get me to show some emotion on my face. Reading stories, telling jokes… they try it all quite frequently. While I don’t think it’s working very well, I enjoy their antics.”
About You - Reminiscing:
“I remember once I walked in on them trying on my helmet and coat. They hadn’t noticed me yet, and I couldn’t help but notice how small they looked buried under my clothes. But quickly I worried about whether their head could take the weight of my helmet. Before I could say anything, they saw me and scurried away in embarrassment. I never brought it up again, but it was rather cute.”
“Huh… Paimon would have never guessed Capitano was like this. When we go to Snezhnaya, we have to find this guy’s mansion somehow! Paimon wants to meet [Name]!”
Columbina:
About You - Her Lover:
“Hmm~hmm~♫ Oh, hello there, Traveler. Ah, I see you’ve brought [Name] with you too, come here, my dear. Hmm? Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you. They are my partner in love, music, in everything. Perhaps you should come to one of our shows one day. I’d say we are quite good.”
About You - Favorite Pastimes:
“I love going to watch plays with them. The theater is one of the places where we spend a lot of time. I always end up humming along to the songs. Sometimes, when the theater is unoccupied, we act out certain scenes together. Say, Traveler, have you ever heard of Romeo and Juliet?”
Chat - Naps:
“Hmm… what time is it? The weather just feels perfect for a midday nap. [Name] always indulges me whenever I want when I want to doze off. This surface is no match for their pillowy softness, but it’ll have to do for now…”
“Hey, you can’t just fall asleep in the middle of- oh… Paimon doesn’t know how she can knock out that quickly.”
Secret Hobby - Poems About You:
“Your bright smile that can go on for a mile,
Unmatchable style with a laugh that never ends for a while.
Sweet lips that I want to savor,
Ah, I am so glad I am in your favor.
Or should I say “For you make me ever the more braver”...? What do you think, Traveler?”
Something Interesting - Liyue Opera:
“Traveler, I hear that there is a talented opera troupe in Liyue with beautiful music and songs. Oh, you’ve met them yourself? I would love to attend it with [Name]. They love listening to music from around Teyvat, and I have to agree with them. Haha… I can’t wait to take them out of Snezhnaya for a bit.”
Dottore:
About You - His Lover:
“Hmph, you wish to know about [Name], I hear?”
“Yeah! Paimon wants to know what kind of person would stay with a madman- I mean! A Fatui Harbinger! You know, since that’s quite dangerous and all.”
“Hehe, is that so? Too bad, because I have no obligation to tell you. But they are truly… ah, never mind.”
“Aww… Paimon really wanted to know what he was going to say.”
About You And The Segments:
“Some of the segments are quite fond of them, while some do not know them very well. After all, they were cloned at different parts of my life, before and after I met them. I must say… it’s can be hard to get some of the other segments away from them. I didn’t think they would hoard [Name]’s attention so much…”
“Is it just Paimon, or does Dottore’s attentiveness towards them grow as each clone gets older? And hey, is Dottore jealous-”
“Shush Paimon, before he hears you!”
About You - Whereabouts:
"It's time for their medicine... Hmm, have you seen them, Traveler? You saw them leave and go into the city? And you didn't stop them? Tch, useless. I must simply go and find them myself... Now that I think about it, I wouldn't want you talking to [Name], anyway."
About You - Health Concerns:
“Ever since our Akademiya days, [Name] has been plagued with an unknown and virtually incurable disease. It is essential that they take their medicine every day, but they often try to avoid it, after doing it for so long. This is why I and the clones always keep an eye on them.”
“Aw, so that’s why [Name] always looks so tired whenever Paimon sees them… That must be so hard.”
“… I don’t care what methods or tactics I have to employ, or if the Gods or even you, Traveler, get in my way. I will cure them of their sickness. Nothing will stop me.”
When The Sun Is Out:
“Hm, it’s a perfect day for [Name] to take a walk. The fresh air is always good for their health. Perhaps a boat ride is in order as well.”
“Oooh, Paimon loves the sound of that! Maybe we can fish and eat it too!”
“Why would I ever invite you to be with us? I’m sure your very existence would give them a headache.”
“Hey, how rude!!”
Pulcinella:
About You - Relationship:
“You were fighting some hilichurls when someone called [Name] joined you? And they ended up lighting an explosive barrel? Wherever that child goes, they always bring trouble with them. But don’t hold it against them. They are a lovely person to be around.”
Stories To Tell:
“They always pester me to tell them stories. Though, this is not a bad thing at all. Not many are willing to listen to this old man ramble on willingly. Ah, youth is a wonderful thing. Would you like to join us next time, Traveler?”
Chat - New Things:
“Indeed, they have taught me many things. The latest trends, songs, books, and more that their generation is into. Sometimes I struggle to understand some of what they say too… the world is changing so quickly.”
About You - Baking:
“We bake together quite often. Most of the time, I have to direct them, otherwise, they will burn down the kitchen which has happened multiple times before. Pantalone was not happy. I have never seen a youngster with such little aptitude for cooking, but surprisingly, it is great fun.”
About You - Family:
“Ever since they were young, they were quite rebellious. Running away from the castle, pretending to be asleep after bedtime, beating up all the Fatui soldiers during sparring without hesitance. If anyone else besides me had to take care of them, it would not have ended well. But, I am truly glad they are in my care. I have thought of them as my own child for a long time. If it wasn’t for the possible danger, I’d have officially adopted them long ago.”
Scaramouche:
About You - His Lover:
“Huh? How do you know about [Name]?”
“Well, we just happened to see them with you once. You were actually smiling! And later we went up and spoke to them for a bit, and they were really nice! They told us that they were your-”
“Ugh, that idiot! Always trusting people so blindly… Anyway, I don’t need you to know anything else. It isn’t your business.” 
A Little Secret:
“I wonder if they could make dango for me again… it’s been a long time since I’ve had it. But how do I get them to make it without directly asking? How bothersome… huh? How long have you been there, Traveler? You didn’t hear anything, did you?!”
Something To Share - Burdened Feelings:
“I once tried to wipe my emotions and feelings of them away into nothingness. It felt preposterous to me that I could feel something for a human, one that could barely fight nonetheless. But when I lost the Gnosis, when I lost everything, as I fell down, the only thing that I saw in my mind was their stupid smile…”
When It Rains:
“Whenever it rained, they would always huddle themselves close to me under my hat. At first, I pushed them away, but the look on their face made me allow them to continue. Sometimes, I make sure to take them out on a day that’s expected to rain just to see them do that. Don’t you dare tell them that though, Traveler.”
About Beelzebul:
“[Name] is always telling me to reconcile with her, but what would she think of me, or of them? How would she act toward me? Would she even remember me? There’s that irritating shrine maiden too… Hmm? It’s nothing. Let’s keep moving.”
Arlecchino:
About You - Her Lover:
“[Name]? Yes, they are my partner. I suppose those Fatui recruits can’t keep their mouths shut about other people’s business for very long. Hmm? You’re surprised that I was so direct about it? Well, there’s no reason to hide it. But I would prefer that this discussion ends here. I like to keep my time with them private.”
When It’s Sunny:
“This weather is not my favorite. I prefer the cold much more than this blistering heat. But I did hear [Name] say that they would like to visit a beach someday. Hmm… say, Traveler, is Yaoguang Shoal a good spot?”
Something To Share - Quietly Loving:
“I’m sure you have realized by now that I am not very good with words or emotions. These things are far from my expertise. However, they seem to not mind my behavior, talking enough for both of us. But if they ever requested anything from me, I would do it without hesitance. No one else comes close.”
Chat - Coffee:
“One cup of coffee, with whipped cream, syrup, and sugar please.”
“…Eh?!! Arlecchino, what are you saying? You always order your coffee black!”
“I know. To be honest, I could not care less about all these extra ingredients. But… they always used to try and add things to sweeten the drink behind my back. I suppose I… miss them. This reminds me of them, a bit.”
“Aww… Paimon guesses that even the scariest and coldest of people can have someone special to them.”
About You - The Orphanage:
“They often spend their time with the orphans. I was initially surprised at first, and so were the other soldiers, but it worked out in our favor. The children love them far more than they will for me or the recruits. [Name] is a gentle and patient soul, after all. Reading stories, putting the kids to sleep… they are quite hard working despite having no need to.”
La Signora:
About You - Her Lover:
“My darling [Name] is the most perfect lover one could ask for. They are beautiful, inside and out. How I love to pamper them so… actually, there are a couple of new outfits I want them to try on. I can’t wait to see how they look. They are all mine.”
When It’s Windy:
“Tch, this wind is messing up my hair and clothes. [Name] used to always brush and take care of my hair after a long day, after I showed them how to do it correctly of course. Traveler, I’m afraid I have to go now. I must see them again.”
About You - Letters:
“Hmm, hmm, hmm… and it’s done.”
“Hey Signora, what are you writing?”
“Just a letter to my dearest. They are expecting something from me soon.”
“Wow, so you can send letters with your fire moths? That’s resourceful!”
“Of course. I always let a few stay around [Name] as well. If any of them happen to be extinguished, I’ll know if anything happened to them.”
About You - Favorite Pastimes:
“There’s nothing that pleases me more than seeing them all dolled up in the latest fashion. They look simply exquisite, especially when we do each other’s makeup. But I also adore seeing them lounge around in their favorite hoodies. They look great in anything, really.”
Something To Share - Past Grief, New Happiness:
“Sometimes, it feels just like yesterday when I lost him. Grief and bitterness wrapped around my heart like a cocoon that would never hatch. But when I fell in love with them, I felt something that I had not felt in far too long. That cocoon started to shatter little by little, as I started to remember how to love again. I truly love them wholly with whatever’s remaining of my heart.”
Pantalone:
About You - His Lover:
“So, you’ve met [Name], I hear. What do you think of them? Beautiful, am I right? Of course, they are nothing short of perfection to me. Hardworking, determined, helpful… I could go on about them. Say, Traveler, would you be so kind to direct me to some of the best shops around here? I would like to find some gifts to send to them while we’re here.”
Worries - Financial Concerns:
“Traveler, I have a great issue on my hands. [Name] has apparently forbidden me from spending any more Mora on them. They keep saying that they do not need anything else, but how can I restrain myself from spoiling my darling?”
About You - Favorite Pastimes:
“Oftentimes, we like to end off the day with some leisurely reading. The feeling of them laying against my chest, legs intertwined, as I whisper certain parts of the book softly into their ear, delighting as they turn warm- oho, your face is all red. Did I make you embarrassed? Apologies, I get carried away when talking about them.”
About You - First Meeting:
“My childhood is not something that I like to remember. But, despite everything, it is pleasant to think about the first time I met them. They were poor, just like me, barely scraping by, though they never failed to greet me every day with a big smile. [Name] would take over the grueling working shifts for me and the younger kids sometimes, and sneak bits of food out the window to me. Even with the fact that I was surrounded by poverty, I couldn’t help but think I had a true gem right in front of me. ”
When It’s Cold:
“I confess, I do enjoy the cold, but most of it is due to how adorable [Name] looks all bundled up in my fur coats. Or how they always dive under the covers and refuse to get up for anything. It is always a struggle for even me to get up from bed when they are so warm, too.”
Sandrone:
About You - Her Lover:
“They are my loyal assistant and lover, always willing to help out with any experiment I ask. I have known them for a very long time. They have always been the one to drag me out of the lab to get some fresh air… as a matter of fact, I think it’s about this time when they come to harass me. Somehow they’ve gotten half the robots on their side, too.”
When It’s Raining:
“This weather is good for testing how waterproof my robots are and the joints of my Automatons. A long time ago, I built a feature for an umbrella into some of my creations so whenever [Name] and I went for walks and it rained, we would be fine. Huh, you’re asking if you can use it? No, you can’t.”
About You - Favorite Pastimes:
“Eh? Sandrone, what is all this? You’re all dressed up!”
“Oh, it’s you. I’m simply preparing for my favorite event with my dear lover. We’ve just finished repairing an ancient Automaton, and they’ve decided a tea party is in order.”
“Wow! Even the robots have spiffy suits on! It smells so good here too, hehe, Paimon wants a taste of the tea and cookies too- w-woah! Where’d all these big robots come from?! Hey, let Paimon down!”
“This is for [Name] and I only. Now shoo. The tea party is set to begin soon, and I must welcome my honored guest…”
Inspiration - New Creations:
“Before I met them, I had never thought of using my skills to create mundane things that weren’t war machines or destructive Automatons. I thought anything else would be a waste of time, but surprisingly, it is not too bad. It’s quite nice to feel their fascinated face in the crook of my neck while I work. I usually gift these creations to them, anyway. They’re not much use to me, but [Name] likes these kinds of things.”
The Future - Fontaine Frenzy:
“I hear that I am set to head out to Fontaine soon. I would love to see the faces of those poor souls when they realize their technology is nothing compared to what the Fatui has created. Ah, I guess that means I’ll be seeing you there too. Will you be able to keep up with [Name] and I, Traveler? I must warn you, they are a formidable foe, with their refined skill and raw power from my mechanical attachments. Now that I think about there, there were some new weapons we wanted to try out… hehe, I can’t wait.” 
Childe:
About You - His Lover:
“Oho, interested in [Name] are you? I don’t blame you - they are truly an amazing person. Sweet, kind, and caring, not to mention, they are incredibly strong as well. Teucer loves them too, always wanting piggyback rides. I can’t wait to introduce them to the rest of my family.”
About You - First Meeting:
“I clearly remember the first time I laid eyes on them. I was passing through Liyue when I heard of an archery competition, and naturally, I was eager to test my skills. I was sure that I would win first place, but what did you know! Someone called [Name] had stolen that spot from me. Long story short, I pestered them until they fought me, and they really did beat me down. Haha, it feels so long ago, now that I look back on it.”
When It Snows:
“I once took [Name] to Dragonspine, because they wanted to see the snow as it was a rare occurrence in Liyue. You should have seen them, hah! Shaking and sniffling like it was the end of the world. And it wasn’t even that cold, as least compared to my homeland. Why didn’t I take them to Snezhnaya? Don’t worry, I plan to, very, very soon…
About You - Whereabouts:
"Have you seen them, Traveler? No? Haha, they must be hiding from me again. I guess I’ve asked them to spar too many times. Comrade, if you happen to see [Name], tell them I’m waiting at Northland Bank for them. Xinyue Kiosk, my treat.”
About You - Safety:
“Heh, I wonder what they’re doing right now. I hope they haven’t been roped into any strange commissions again. They are too helpful for their own good. If anything happened to them while I’m gone… Traveler, if you happen to be around, please help them. I’ll owe you, comrade.”
15K notes · View notes
yesimwriting · 10 months
Note
Heyy ya!! Hwo you doing? I wanted to ask maybe you can write Coriolanus x reader when he gets to district after just finishing training for pacekeepers, or maybe where his tribute just arrived to the capitol and the reader maybe says the “what does my mentor do besides bring me roses?” Line? ❤️
A/n the turn around for this was so fast for me 😭 i got excited
hi!! i love these prompts and am so glad for the excuse to write something for him 😭,, also i didn't blatantly make the reader the district 12 tribute bc i didn't want to necessarily cute lucy gray out all together, but it's clear that she's from a poorer district and that being assigned to mentor her is an insult to the Snow name,, also reader pulls a katniss and volunteers for a younger family member bc the irony of that scratches an inch in my brain
Summary: After the very public slight of being assigned to mentor a female tribute from a lower district, all Snow can think about is the uphill battle that winning the Plinth prize will now be. Until, he realizes, that he's been given the first ever district volunteer who seems to have a quality that makes people care about her.
Warnings: my first time writing for a specific character, Coriolanus's internal thoughts are a little softer than they should be at some points but i love the accidental and deeply impractical crush trope so
---
Of Angels
The desperation masquerading as fierceness behind her eyes is undeniable. Coriolanus feels the way your panic, your shock as the weight of your own words dawn on you in his chest. He swallows, forcing down the feeling.
Take me--take me instead! The phrase is repeated again and again, shaky and pleading.
Something about the display, about the 12-year-old girl that desperately tries to cling to you as peace keepers push you forward, makes it hard to watch. Even worse, it makes it impossible to look away.
The first ever district volunteer. A suicide mission or a--a desperate call for attention? A decision made out of hysteria that you're already starting to regret?
He can't decide as the footage of you being ushered onto stage is played. Surely, Dr. Gaul and other Capitol officials won't find this acceptable. The concept of volunteering has always been reserved for the careers, the districts that produce well fed children that train for this. It's a way to allow them to pick their best, their strongest. It is not a way for someone to lay down their life for someone else.
"Are you saying you volunteer?"
You blink, eyes wild and bright as you openly survey the crowd. Coriolanus briefly thinks that you might attempt to take what he doubts is an actual out. You seem to be considering something before finally nodding once. The motion so stiff it makes you look smaller, like the girl whose name was originally called.
"Yes," you mumble. The softness of it is a personal accost. Your choice was made in panic, but that isn't who you are. You're not much of a performer or a fighter or even bold...you're not much of a chance at the Plinth Prize. "I-I volunteer."
----
In the end, he had come because of Tigris. She had insisted that there was a way to see his tribute as more than just another face from the districts, as more human than animal.
She loves that little girl enough to die in her place. If I was her, I'd want someone to tell me that my choice meant something. I'd want someone to show that they care about me.
The words had felt dismissible at first, but the more he thought about them, the more it made sense. Panem had seen the entire thing, had seen the way that his tribute continued to comfort the younger girl even after sentencing herself to death. There's a story worthy of a show in that.
If he can convince you to go on camera, to speak of the girl, of the choice...maybe he'd have a chance at his future. And if the public support manages to help you in some way or another, that'd only be an additional benefit. You love that girl enough to die for her, maybe that means you love her enough to fight tooth and nail to live for her as well.
The train that stops at each district pulls to a stop. The doors open, releasing the sound of tributes that are learning the consequences of attempting to cause issues for the peacekeepers.
A boy he vaguely recognizes steps out, and then a younger girl. Are you one of the tributes already risking their lives in an attempt to aggravate peacekeepers? Or maybe you're cowering at the back of the train, clinging onto the safety of a familiar space.
You prove to be neither. You emerge from the train, perfectly in tact and stable.
Coriolanus parts his lips, yet no words manage to come out. You're different in person, the white you're dressed in is objectively dirtier than it was when you were reaped and yet somehow, here in the dim, gray station it feels brighter. A stray beam of sunlight breaking through a cluster of clouds. A promise that the storm will end soon and that the angels have yet to abandon the earth.
Your dress is a simple thing, loose enough to be a hand-me-down or maybe even borrowed, the lace of the skirt falling farther down your knees than it should. That paired with the ribbon scraps tied to each side of your head make you look younger and cruelly innocent.
"Hello." The blandness of his own beginning forces a burning sort of regret to take over his chest. You attentively turn, expression kind and expecting. It only makes the embarrassment he doesn't fully understand scorch him from the inside out with more violence. He's once again struck with the desire to look away and finding himself incapable of doing so. "My name is Coriolanus Snow, and I'm your mentor."
You nod, features hardening. You've pieced it all together--his appearance, what he's saying, and where you are. He's revealed himself as part of the Capitol and now you can no longer watch him with kind, accepting eyes. The look you're giving him is almost enough to make him wish he could have presented this differently.
Coriolanus extends an arm, the carefully chosen pure white rose an olive branch. You blink, eyebrows drawing together before you slowly reach out and take the flower by its stem. Your fingertips brush against his own, the warmth of your skin is so shocking he has to remind himself not to flinch.
"A mentor?" You repeat the word like your only reason for doing so is to try out the foreign word on your tongue. "Does everyone get one or am I just lucky?" You look down at the rose you're now holding. "Or has the rumor that I'm a rebellion trick spread to the Capitol?"
The last question genuinely surprises him. It shouldn't, there had been some talk about why anyone from a poor district would ever choose to go into the games. The way you and the girl you saved reacted to each other could have been staged...but Coriolanus didn't think it was enough to warrant genuine rumors. Anyone that had looked at your eyes and seen the fear in them would have known that it was sacrifice. Is sacrifice. That girl means the world to you.
"No," he starts slowly, "No, everyone gets one and no one here has any preconceptions about you."
You raise your eyebrows, making it clear that you don't believe him. No preconceptions had been a strong way to phrase things, but the urge to assure you had taken over with no warning. You then look away, glancing around to take in your surroundings.
"Then why isn't there..." You trail off, your gaze landing firmly on him. "You're not supposed to be here."
He blinks. For the first time, it feels like you're truly looking at him. His own susceptibility to your wide eyes turns his stomach. You're the one that should feel like something up for display under his stare. "No, I'm not."
The admission forces the edge of your lips to pull upwards. "Alright," you hum, "So what does my mentor do for me besides bring me roses?"
"I do my best to take care of you."
For a second, all you do is stare. He's surprised you. The realization brings him more relief than it should. "The girl who you volunteered for..."
You tilt your head downwards, hiding your expression as your fingers carefully toy with the exterior of the soft petals. "My cousin," the explanation is low, cautious, "But we uh--we're more like sisters."
An in that he doesn't even have to work for. "I understand that." You look up, not bothering to hide your confusion. Maybe you weren't expecting something so human to come out. Maybe human works for you. "During the war, we took care of each other...and then after our parents passed, we were left in the care of our grandmother."
The silence that follows is tight, straining against the sympathies you're not willing to extend to someone like him. Your lips part, and Coriolanus is disgusted by the part of him that's curious about what's going to come next.
You're pushed back with no warning. His attention snaps towards the peacekeeper who is shoving against your shoulder with more force than necessary.
"Excuse--" No reaction, no response as another peacekeeper grabs your arm. "Excuse me, I'm her--" You're being dragged away in order to be packed into another vehicle of transportation with the rest of them.
Coriolanus stays near, doing his best to never lose sight of you in the chaos. A tribute breaks free from the hold of the peacekeepers and launches his body forward. An ill thought out escape attempt. The distraction is all Coriolanus needs. This is his chance to go after you, to cement a connection that will guarantee cooperation.
It's not the distraction that gets him to move or even thoughts of the Plinth prize, it's the final flash of angel white fabric as its forced back into darkness. He rushes forward before he can overthink, entering the vehicle just as the doors shut.
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i think i might make a part 2!!
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stardustizuku · 7 months
Text
Unfortunately I came across a very strange and misinformed video about Black Butler.
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It’s not good. Don’t watch it. Unless you wanna ruin your day, in which case have fun.
Despite it all, I watched it. What left me wondering, however, was how off the mark the person who made the video was on, well, everything.
From their insistence that the Book of Circus Arc theme or point is non existent, to reading Ciel’s character so badly they genuinely thought the Green Witch Arc did nothing for his character development.
While baffled, it also made me think on how someone could read Black Butler so badly.
Sure, you can say that there’s no real way to read or interpret something “in the wrong way” but interpreting The Hunger Games as a pure battle-royale action story would make you believe it’s bad.
“Why are we focusing so much on how the capitol preps them?” Or “Why isn’t Katniss winning everything?” Or “I wanna know more about the rebellion” All questions that miss the actual point of the story - which is criticizing (not solving or ignoring) the way that media distracts us from violence via spectacle.
The same thing applies here. While there is no “right” way to consume media, there’s things that the author makes clear they wanna focus when creating a story. Things that, if you understand, make the story you’re reading actually make sense.
And in Black Butler there’s three things that you have to understand to properly get what Yana is saying.
Sebastian is the protagonist
Ciel and Sebastian’s relationship IS the story.
And that relationship is, fundamentally, a positive one.
A quicker version of it would be:
Black Butler is a love story from the POV of Sebastian, and you have to ship it to get it
- but that’s not entirely true.
You can still look at it as a complex but ultimately positive rship and get in broad strokes of what it’s conveying. It doesn’t have to be romantic. Although, it helps much more than a platonic framing.
(That said, interpreting their rship as father and son, still isn’t the best way to go about it. Mostly because by its very nature of “soul consuming” their relationship is extremely sexually charged. And hey, if you’re into that I don’t judge. However, if you’re desperately trying to interpret their rship as NOT romantic to the point you fall back on heteronormative patriarchal ideals of nuclear familiar as framing device, I don’t think this interpretation bodes with you)
Now, having all that ground work:
Why do I say these are the key components to understand BB?
Okay so, first,
1. Sebastian is the Main Character. The protagonist.
There’s a lot of people who wanna argue against it, claiming he’s either the villain or the antagonist. Both wrong.
He does not function as an antagonist. Even if, and an emphasis on if, you consider Ciel to the protagonist, Sebastian isn’t a narrative antagonist.
If you wanna go back to Creative Writing 101, be my guest. An antagonist is directly defined by the protagonist. It’s the opposing force. If the protagonist wants A, the antagonist wants to stop them from getting A.
Sebastian’s catchphrase is “Yes, my Lord”. He never opposes Ciel, in fact quite the contrary. By the mere fact they’ve created contract, it means that they’ve both agreed in the inevitable outcome.
People want to frame Sebastian as the villain, because Ciel having his soul taken by a demon, would be a BAD END in the context of their moral compass. They see Ciel as a frail victim of abuse, who’s being tricked by Sebastian, who wants Ciel’s soul.
Which is an. Interpretation. A bad one. But still one.
The narrative (and whether the narrative fits your personal moral compass and lack of critical thinking is irrelevant) treats Ciel as an agent in his own destiny. The abuse he suffered was the moment in which he had no control. It’s only after he meets Sebastian that he can rid of both his guilt and his despair, and do what he wants.
In this case though, it’s revenge.
The famous “Asthma” scene shows this. If Ciel is taken back to his past, he becomes helpless. Swarmed with pain and memories that make it so that he can’t even react. Sebastian is his saving grace. If Ciel didn’t have him, and the power he wields to rebuilt what’s broken, he would crumble once more.
If Ciel has a panic attack, because of all the pain he has, Sebastian picks him up and says “you are not a helpless child anymore, you are not a victim anymore, you have the power to do anything. So, what do you wanna do?”
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Ciel’s answer is to kill them.
A proper analogy would be to say that, if Sebastian offers a gun, Ciel pulls the trigger. They are both at fault. Sebastian, strictly speaking, is not here to directly cause Ciel’s downfall, but as a tool Ciel uses to plunge into the abyss.
If, again if, you were to frame Ciel as a protagonist, Sebastian falls closer to the “Voice of reason” character. Not a literal voice of reason, but a literary one. If you have a protagonist and an antagonist exchanging ideals, the Voice of Reason serves to engage with the protagonist on their own ideals.
That said, Ciel isn’t the protagonist. The story quickly falls apart if you interpret it as such.
Things such as Ciel’s character arc being…shall I say odd?
It’s not that his character arc isn’t there, but it’s never lineal. His goals stay the same, the only thing that happens is that we start to peel back the “why”s of his goals. Throughout the series it’s never about Ciel understanding himself better, he knows who he is, he knows what he wants, he knows why he wants it. He doesn’t ever need to uncover these, but simply remember them. Because it’s always about the audience understanding Ciel.
He knows he wants revenge.
In the Circus Arc: He knows that he needs Sebastian because without him, the pain of the abuse he suffered would be too much to bear. But WE are introduced to it.
In the Book of Atlantis: He knows that with this new lease he does not want happiness and peace, he wants revenge. The one being told this is the audience.
In Green Witch Arc: He knows that their revenge isn’t for his family, the real Ciel or guilt. It’s because he wants it. He’s angry, he’s upset, and this is entirely for him. The one being told this is the audience.
Except. Not really. The one either discovering or remembering these key moments - is always Sebastian.
Sebastian is the one who reassures him that he now holds the power of a demon to override the pain. Sebastian is the one who remembers that to override that pain, Ciel wants revenge. And Sebastian is the one who discovers that that revenge isn’t built out of grief or guilt, but for himself.
We are witnessing it all, through the eyes of Sebastian.
This is why we have an extremely vague idea of who Ciel is, Sebastian does not have the whole picture.
If you haven’t been reading this manga with your eyes closed, you’ll realize we have a better grasp at Sebastian’s character than that of Ciel. We get a lot of insight on how he thinks and what he values through light hearted dialogue he has with the servants. You even see the character development in these little interactions.
Think about how when he first arrived to the mansion he magically created food with no regards to taste, but when he meets Bard he states that food is created to see whoever will eat it, smile.
That is character development, more than you will be able to see from Ciel.
Because Ciel’s character, while not static, doesn’t go from point A to point B. Mostly, cause it doesn’t need to. He went through that when he lost the real Ciel and got Sebastian. Everything we are watching is the falling out.
Now, given the fact that I’ve told you that it makes more sense for Sebastian to be the protagonist/main character, and that he 100% isn’t either a villain or antagonist in ANY of the interpretations you can get:
Do you believe me?
If you don’t, you’ll probably believe Yana herself.
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This is from the first Volume, where Yana herself describes the process of making Black Butler. The primary idea behind the creation of BB was a butler as a “hero”.
If you go back to the introductory chapter, you notice that Ciel is barely mentioned. He’s simply the one to give Sebastian impossible tasks and standards that Sebastian must find how to overcome.
Ciel is properly introduced until the NEXT chapter. The second chapter has this formula too, introducing Lizzie as a problem to overcome. Although, to Sebastian the best way to “get rid of the problem” is simply to indulge her.
The issue here being that the problem isn’t as simple as a business meeting but something directly tied to Ciel and Ciel’s past. Each time that Sebastian has to solve a problem, it chips away at Ciel. While with Lizzie he shows a persona, once he’s alone with Sebastian he acknowledges the toll it took on him. It serves to build Ciel as Sebastian’s master, and how some problems aren’t as simple as discarding a tablecloth.
The third and the fourth, are a unified narrative, with a similar premise to the first chapter. Ciel gets kidnapped and Sebastian must find a way to retrieve him without raising suspicions.
If the first chapter is to set up what Sebastian must do as a butler, the third and the fourth serve to set up what he must do as a demon.
The entirety of the volume, and up to Book of Circus Arc, is about how Sebastian tries to follow the increasingly absurd orders that Ciel has - it is not about Ciel trying to solve them.
That’s how they work, we follow Sebastian for the most part, because he’s the one having to come up with the solutions.
If anything, in early Kuro, where the emphasis was more on a slice of life conflict, Ciel is the antagonist. He’s the one creating problems for Sebastian to solve.
What’s more, in the second volume, the very first chapter is one from Sebastian’s POV. So far, we hadn’t gotten an entire chapter from Ciel’s POV. In fact, I would find it hard to point to a single chapter where Ciel is the POV throughout. The reveal of real Ciel and the flashback is the closest contender.
But once we move past early Kuro, and into Book of Circus, this set up changes.
It’s fairly easy to assume that Ciel is the main character, because from this point on the conflict of the plot sorta surrounded him. We spend a lot of time with him and with his story. The enemies start being people directly tied to Ciel and Ciel’s trauma. Rarely, if at all, we get to see Sebastian before he met Ciel.The framing device for the story, is Ciel.
This is where point 2 gets intertwined.
2.- Sebastian and Ciel’s relationship IS the story.
The story begins at the point where Sebastian and Ciel met. Who Ciel was before he met Sebastian, informs why he’s the way he is when he does. You have to know all he went through to understand why he’s a brat, why he lashes out. However Sebastian’s past doesn’t matter…because Sebastian himself doesn’t care much for who he was, before he was “Sebastian”. That’s also part of the narrative.
Unlike Ciel, he doesn’t seem opposed to revealing information from before the contract. He talks about how pets from where he is from are gross, he talks about how he knows how to dance because of other places he’s been to, and alludes to the life he's lived before.
Just that, to him, they're footnotes.
He makes allusions to a very bland, uninteresting life, up to the point he meets Ciel.
That’s why we don’t know more about his past.
As for why we focus on Ciel’s story…okay maybe we need Creative Writing lessons 102
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I studied Dramaturgy for about 3 to 4 years. And something you notice is how play-writing is the quintessential story telling. It’s making it work with the bare bones of a story.
Some other mediums have more finesse, more depth, or more spectacle - all amazing things that work for whatever they’re created for. But understanding a play, how and why it works, helps understand the fundamentals of any derivative story telling medium.
Particularly, conflict.
Conflict is dialogue and dialogue can take many forms. A story, in its essence, is a dialogue between two opposing ideas.
Take Batman, for example, who embodies the ideas of justice and order. On his own, he’s not a well rounded character.
If you ONLY present him, in a vaccum with nothing else, you don’t have a character. You have a list of characteristics that you’re supposed to know.
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You only know who he is when you have dialogue with another character.
I say Dialogue, but it doesn’t necessarily mean spoken language at one another. Dialogue can mean fist fighting, playing tabletop games, talking to other people about the other, or even just a competition. The idea is to simply to compare and contrast both ideas.
If you want an example on how tabletop games serve as dialogue, watch the video “Well, Someone Had to Explain the Liar’s Dice Scene” by Lord Ravecraft
Another example, were we to retake Batman, you have him fight Joker. Who’s the embodiment of chaos and randomness.
In the following picture, you get far more information than the one previously shown. While the Joke fights with daggers and fake guns, Batman only uses his fists. He doesn’t use the tricks that Joker does. His serious demeanor, contrasted with Joker’s glee at the dangerous situation. The fact that Batman has a deathly grip on Joker’s shirt, while the Joker doesn’t, which shows a desperation to catch him.
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You are being shown, through a dialogue, who Batman is.
It’s so much easier and much more effective to explore a character through another character.
This is the reason why Shonen has a tendency to make incredibly good gay ships. If you want to explore Naruto’s personality, and his feelings of inferiority, you HAVE to have him interact with Sasuke.
If you wanna understand Hinata’s passion for volleyball, you have him enjoy himself the most with the only other crazy motherfucker who’s as obsessed with volleyball - Kageyama.
And I think that originally, Yana had this problem.
Sebastian was the protagonist, but she had little room to develop him as a character in the confines of the manor, dealing with random enemies.
She likely tried to create Grell as someone of the same stature as Sebastian. Someone who could be this other person to engage dialogue with and show or allude to his past a bit more.
The problem being that Sebastian didn’t care for his past. Or really, engaging with anyone. He sees everyone as below him, but when confronted with Grell who isn’t below him, he doesn’t wanna talk to her.
So you’re stuck in conundrum.
How do you have dialogue with a character, that as a character trait, doesn’t really wanna have dialogue?
Well, Grell also solves the problem. Because only the moment she gets him to start any semblance of a dialogue - is questioning why he’s serving Ciel.
And this is the moment when it’s perfectly cemented that the focus of the story is their relationship.
Why is Sebastian here? Why does he stay? What did he see in Ciel that made him want this extremely convoluted contract?
THATS the dialogue.
THATS the conversation we’re having in Black Butler.
We need to know Ciel because understanding who he is, let’s us know WHY /Sebastian/ is here.
Then slowly, with the introduction with the Undertaker, we find out Sebastian’s conflict.
Which is…
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He’s scared of losing Ciel. It becomes apparent with the constant imagery of the Undertaker taking away Ciel and at some point even obtaining r!Ciel’s body, that he’s worried it might happen.
But he can only be worried that Ciel might be taken away if he wants to stay near Ciel.
And that’s his character arc.
Realizing that he actually likes Ciel, cares for him and the role he plays a butler that he doesn’t want this to end.
In the first chapters, he doesn’t feel a need to protect Ciel anymore than what’s strictly necessary. Just don’t die, that’s about as deep as his involvement in chapter 4 gets.
But by the Green Witch Arc, he feels a need to protect Ciel from ANY harm.
This is why I also said
3.- Their relationship is fundamentally a positive one.
In broad strokes, Sebastian to Ciel is the person who allows him to survive. He’s not worried about giving up his soul since he’s already dead. While Ciel to Sebastian, is someone who’s making him have fun. He’s slowly becoming more and more attached to Ciel and the life he has with Ciel.
Their relationship is not that of just a predator and prey, but also of master and pet.
In the terms that Black Butler itself would call: Sebastian is a wild wolf acting like a collared dog.
Ciel is aware that the wild beast will eat him at the end of the day, but if he clings hard to leash for now, he might just be able to have Sebastian maul his abusers.
Sebastian as a dog, currently finds that he enjoys being a chained dog.
(This is demonstrated in the Green Witch arc where he quite literally says, he doesn’t wanna be a wild beast and prefers to be a butler)
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And much like the actual DOG Sebastian, Ciel constantly interprets his attempts to get close and protect him, as an act of aggression.
This push and pull of Ciel’s perception of Sebastian and Sebastian’s true motives is what feeds the story.
And the briefs interludes were that isn’t the case (what other people call the “plot”, but I would refer to as the connective tissue) such as Sullivan and Wolfram, the other servant’s past, the grim reapers and the like, serve as a parallel to Ciel and Sebastian relationship. Either to signify how they care for each other, highlight their weaknesses or fears, or explore how they feel.
It’s no surprise that Sullivan and Wolfram are parallels to Ciel and Sebastian. A sheltered sickly child who seeks the protection of a cold hearted machine that only knew how to kill, but who eventually found he cared for her genuinely.
Undertaker and Claudia’s relationship being heavily paralleled with them, even though we aren’t 109% sure what they had but heavily implied it was a romantic attraction from the undead supernatural creature and a Phantomhive.
Everything is a parallel.
That’s why, like the approach of the terrible original video, is flawed.
Trying to interpret Black Butler as action scene after action scene, with mystery after mystery with the only connective tissue being the mystery of who burned down the mansion - is missing the trees for the forest.
That’s not the point.
And if you’re too much of a prude to engage with gothic horror in its gothic horror game, I see little point as to why you even bother to engage with it at all.
A lot of people, including the person who create the video, simply refuse to acknowledge Black Butler IS the story of Sebastian and Ciel as a close and positive relationship, romantically and sexually charged. The reason for it being that they’re “put off” by it.
Part of me wonders how much that is genuinely true, and how much is just performative outrage. It’s like ignoring the fact that Cersei and Jami are in an incestous relationship and try to frame it as “platonic love”, because the idea of it is THAT off putting.
But regardless of that, if you don’t like the fact that it’s as canon as canon can get, I would reccomend you don’t engage with the story at all.
As I’ve explained, the entirety of the series is about them. If you refuse to see Sebastian and Ciel as, at the very least, a duo that cares deeply for the other - you aren’t reading Black Butler.
I have no idea what you’re reading.Perhaps your own biases and subconscious stigma with British aesthetic. At that point, watch the fucking British Royalty Gossip Magazine. You’d find more substance there.
Just don’t be like the person in the video, please? Don’t play dumb. Don’t ignore the fact that Yana is a Shotacon, don’t ignore the fact Sebastian is a hero, don’t ignore the fact that the entirety of the story is based on Sebastian and Ciel’s dynamic.
Because if you do, you are ashamed. You are ashamed of what this story is about. You don’t wanna engage with the text, you want to engage with yourself. You wanna project into Ciel whatever traumas and experiences you have, for the sake a vanity project, where you come out as the morally superior.
You don’t wanna talk about Black Butler, you wanna talk about how good YOU are. How you “don’t sin” by watching it “without all the gross unholy stuff”.
Which is the exact opposite of what BB is about.
So, if you don’t want to, save us all the humiliation fetish and leave.
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mint-8 · 4 months
Text
Platonic Yandere Grandparent x GN! Reader
- Yandere Grandparent whose life was monochrome and seamlessly endless. Waking up every day for the same routine, work, eat and sleep. Some socializing here and there and spending time with their family, but not feeling any sort of true happiness or enjoyment from it.
- Yandere Grandparent who simply followed what school, their parents and peers told them. Study, get a good job, marry and have a child or two.
- Yandere Grandparent who might not have been the best parental figure to their own kids, perhaps abusive? Negligent? Absent? What about their spouse? Perhaps leaving them all the housework, childcare or money making?
- They weren’t even that interested when their children married. Not really caring at that point of their lives either, just waiting for the inevitable death to come to them and, perhaps then, it would be more entertaining.
- Yandere Grandparent whose life was finally given color and light the moment their eyes landed on you, their first grandchild. They weren’t excited when they got the news, just curious. What a pay off it was to endure the nagging of their spouse and the annoying traffic to find little, chubby adorable you in their offspring’s arms.
- Yandere Grandparent who truly smiles for the first time when your eyes open and you smile at them! Their eyes watering a bit when they get to hold you for the first time, and refusing to let go when you hold one of their fingers in your soft baby hand.
- Yandere Grandparent who felt love for the first time ever and who promised that they’ll look after you, in this life and the many new ones to come.
- Yandere Grandparent who visits practically every day to visit their little niece and spoil them with affections. From treats to toys to cute clothes, they would happily spent all their savings to give you a smile.
- Yandere Grandparent who insists to their children to continue to go out for some dates with their partner! You two are so young after all! And don’t you worry about their little niece, for Yandere Grandparent will happily look after them! It doesn’t matter what their own spouse says, their opinion is irrelevant to them and they will have no problem ignoring them if necessary.
- Yandere Grandparent who secretly wishes their kids turn out to be abusive so they can be your legal guardian and keep you all for themselves! Oh, and their spouse too, of course. As long as they aren’t too much of a pain.
- Yandere Grandparent who is so, so, so happy that whatever higher deity out there gifted them a living proof that happiness is real and that they can actually love like a normal person. Well, their definition of normal, of course.
- Yandere Grandparent who is overbearing and it’s pretty much involved in every single thing you do. They attend every recital, show, competition and event that you might be involved in! Always bringing their special camera for their special album of memories of you and with your favorite drinks and snacks on their bag as a little treat.
- Yandere Grandparent who offers a heavy amount of financial support to your parents so that you can go to the best schools or have the best tutors available. They don’t want you to suffer in this horrible world like they did! So let Gran-Gran decide the best and easiest path of success for you! They know what they are doing.
- Yandere Grandparent who tells you so many stories about their lives and gives you the best advice they can offer, as well as 100% support in whatever thing you want to do or are interested in! That includes siding with you in every possible argument between you and your parents.
- Yandere Grandparent who knows that they will definitely die before you, but are willing to prolong that due date the most they can. And who will leave their entire inheritance to you, so you’ll have a happier life.
- Yandere Grandparent who, at their last moments, smiles at you while holding your hand and muttering a final “I love you, sweetie…” before peacefully dying.
- Yandere Grandparent whose soul will continue to protect you even in the afterlife, for even death itself will never be able to break the bond of love they always had for their adorable niece.
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miley1442111 · 3 months
Text
dinner revelations and reactions- r.cameron (part 3)
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a/n: this takes place in a au where the stuff that happens in the show doesn't happen :)
tropes: childhood bestfriends to lovers, enemies to lovers
pairing: rafe cameron x fem! reader, jj maybank x reader (dw, not for long)
(use of Y/n, and the nickname Bunny/ bun (but i promise not in a weird way there's a story to it i swear it's not just one of those weird smut things))
summary: rafe and you finally confront each other and it doesn't end as planned, neither does you night...
warnings: mentions of drugs and drug use and drinking, fighting, cursing, rafe is a dick, rafe's mental health, reader is going through it, smut (18+)(fade to black a little bit??) , kissing, alcohol, having sex while being drunk (?), drinking, kind of alcohol abuse, mentions of dead parents and sibling, rafe being jealous, rafe is also going through it (and I think that's it?)
not entirely proofread
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Rafe sat across from you, and you felt his eyes on you the whole time. He had no right to be affecting you like this, making you nervous, making you irritated, worst of all, making you feel anything. 
“So, Bunny,” Ward started. “How are your folks? I haven’t heard from them in a while.”
You felt your throat close, and an uncontrollable coughing fit started. Sarah hit your back and it finally stopped, but you excused yourself for a moment, not knowing what to do. You walked to the kitchen, a glass of water in hand, different to the strawberry daiquiri on the table, the one that Rose had insisted on making you. You felt yourself tear up as you thought about your lonely life. The past 3 had been the worst of your life. Coming home to an empty house, having to clean out their bedroom and everything else they owned, having no choice in how they went. A lot of your college friends ditched you at that time too, you didn't tell them what happened and you stopped coming out with them, so you drifted. It was so fucking hard. And explaining it would be difficult too. 
You hadn’t even noticed you’d started crying until Rafe had put his arms around you. 
And then there was the Rafe heartbreak. Your best friend and first love drifting away mere months after you moved to a whole new place, full of new people, and new ways to live. It was unfunny how upset you’d been, not leaving your room (except for going to school or for mealtimes), you almost broke your phone, you were so upset, and you got rid of anything (aside from the friendship bracelet you still wore) that reminded you of him. 
But for just a millisecond, you allowed yourself to enjoy him being there for you. 
Despite promising yourself that you’d never speak to him again when you turned 16 and he hadn’t replied in months, when big life events happened, you’d texted him. You’d texted him when your parents died, when you graduated with honours, when you got accepted into your dream college, and every single time, it always said that he read your messages. He knew what was going on, he knew you needed him, and he did nothing. 
You pushed him off of you and sighed. “Don’t try to comfort me now. That’s not fair,” you whispered, trying to stop yourself from crying. 
“Bun, please I’m-” he started, trying to take your hand, trying to make you look at him. To see the distress he was in, to notice the effect you had on him, to know that he still cared about you. 
“No!” you groaned, crossing your arms and moving further away from him. Thank god they had a huge kitchen. Rafe was always the focal point in every room, he drew attention in from everyone. His charisma, his smile, his looks, everything. Every time you entered a room he was in you were engulfed by Rafe, and it wasn’t fair. “Rafe, I don’t want your pity!-”
“It’s not pity-”
“Well I don’t want your help!” You finally stopped crying, the sadness easing but all that was left in its wake was rage. “I needed you, when I was a scared 15 year old girl in a new city, on the other side of  the country, I needed you when my brother died, I needed you when my parents died, I needed you when I was scared to move to college, I needed you when my first boyfriend and I broke up, and you weren’t there Rafe. But just because I needed you then, does not mean I need you now. You are exactly what is wrong with everyone on this island. You’re a prejudiced, privileged, piece of shit, asshole, drunk, with too much time and money on his hands. Get a job, work for something, for anything.” 
Rafe just stood there in shock. You pushed past him, rejoining the table.
“Sorry about that,” you chuckled. “My parents…” You paused and took a deep breath. “They died three years ago, sorry I didn’t call to let you know.” 
-------------
Rafe sat across from you, and he had no idea what he was going to do. 
“So, Bunny,” Ward started and he rolled his eyes. Bunny had been a nickname Rafe had given you, and it had always bothered him when his dad used it, or when Rose used it, or when basically anyone but him used it . “How are your folks? I haven’t heard from them in a while.”
Rafe watched as your coughing fit began and he knew why. A sense of dread settled itself deep in his stomach and he sighed when you left to get a glass of water. He started getting up, then turned to Rose. “She doesn’t fucking like strawberry darquiri’s,” he spat.
He walked into the kitchen as quietly as possible, seeing how you sobbed with a hand over your mouth over the sink. He couldn’t help but feel partly responsible, and he hated seeing you cry. He felt you stiffen and quiet when he pulled his arms around you, then he held you closer as you started crying more. He’d missed you so damn much. He knew he should’ve responded, even after all these years, even when he fucking yearned to talk to you. But he’d made his bed and he had to lie in it. 
Losing you was one of the hardest things he’d ever gone through, and it wasn’t like his mom, where he could blame external forces, he was stuck with knowing that you being gone was his doing. That he’d driven you away at the ripe old age of 14. He loved you, and you’d left, but he just couldn’t see a universe where someone as lovely as you wanted him to stay, so he left. And he was stupid for leaving, and even worse for not apologising, but he was never known to go back on his word. As he held you, he thought about all the time his dad had said something, had hit him, and he thought about the fact that he could’ve talked to you. He could’ve called and asked for your advice, he could’ve heard your voice.  
And he noticed how your hands stayed on his body, not pushing him away, and he smiled. 
He felt awful for his behaviour. He should’ve been there for you when your brother and when your parents died. He knew he should’ve driven to fucking California and held you at the funeral. Let you cry on his shoulder. He should’ve been sending you supportive texts as you entered college, he should’ve been facetiming you asking about courses and classes, he should’ve been there to tell you that your asshole boyfriend wasn’t the shit. He remembered how he’d gone on a two-day bender when you texted him to say you had a boyfriend. He’d never been so jealous, and he hadn’t seen you in years. But he knew, he knew your spirit and he knew how beautiful you’d grown up to be. He knew your personality and your smile. It wasn’t fair what he did, but he knew this wasn’t about him. So, he just enjoyed being wanted by you, even if it was just for a few minutes. He didn’t deserve you in any capacity, but you still stood in the kitchen, his arms around you as you cried. 
You pushed him off of you and sighed. “Don’t try to comfort me now. That’s not fair,” you whispered. And the moment was over, but Rafe still had to try. 
“Bun, please I’m-” he started, trying to take your hand. He needed you to see him. He needed you to look at him, and look at the desperation in his eyes. He needed to explain that he hadn’t felt alive since you’d been gone, and having you here, being able to hold you? It had brought him back to life. 
“No!” you groaned, crossing your arms and moving further away from him. Fuck this huge kitchen, he wanted you closer to him, but he knew not to overstep. He stood at the sink and you paced slowly. Rafe was being driven out of his mind with these mixed signals. This wasn’t fair. “Rafe, I don’t want your pity!-”
“It’s not pity-” He tried to reason, his anger bubbling, but he took a deep breath to try and settle it. 
“Well I don’t want your help!” You finally stopped crying, the sadness easing but all that was left in its wake was rage. “I needed you, when I was a scared 15 year old girl in a new city, on the other side of  the country, I needed you when my brother died, I needed you when my parents died, I needed you when I was scared to move to college, I needed you when my first boyfriend and I broke up, and you weren’t there Rafe. But just because I needed you then, does not mean I need you now. You are exactly what is wrong with everyone on this island. You’re a prejudiced, privileged, piece of shitty, drunk, with too much time and money on his hands. Get a job, work for something, for anything.” 
Rafe just stood there in shock. You pushed past him, rejoining the table. He felt sick. No one had ever called him out like that, you had never spoken to him like that. He stood in the kitchen, and for the first time in years, he cried. He felt a genuine tear fall down his face and he knew he was fucked. 
-------------
You showed up outside John B’s place, wanting to find Jj. None of it made any sense, it never had. Rafe, your parents, your brother, everything. 
“Hey Y/n,” He smiled, opening the door. You pushed past him inside and to his bedroom. “Everything ok?” He asked, following you.
“Do you have something strong?” You asked and he smirked. 
“Yeah,” he reached behind you to a cabinet and produced a bottle of Polmos Spirytus Rektyfikowany Vodka. 
“What’s that?” You asked, looking over to Polish bottle. 
“95% abv,” he smirked. “Strongest out there.”
You uncapped it and took a large swig. Jj chuckled when you had no reaction. 
“Good,” he smirked, then took the bottle off of you and drank some himself. 
The night went on through a haze of alcohol, laughter, and a weird energy in the air, something you couldn’t exactly put your finger on. 
“You tired?” He asked, a smile on his face. 
You didn’t answer, just pressing your lips to his. His hands grabbed your waist as you pulled him down on top of you. You needed to forget, to be distracted for a few hours, for one night to not be inside your own mind. Jj could serve that purpose, and maybe more. You just knew you needed to stop thinking.
“A-are you sure?” He asked, pulling away for a beat as you pulled his shirt off. 
“So sure,” you nodded and kissed him again. He smirked as you desperately pulled at his hair. 
He pulled down your trousers and pants in one fluid motion and he groaned. “You’re fucking gorgeous. All of you.”
He smashed his lips onto yours once again. Next his pants were down and he wax putting a condom on, then he was inside you and fuck. He was big. 
“Jj!�� you whined as he sunk into you. His forehead was already laced with sweat. 
“Yeah baby?’ he gritted out, using all of his self-control to give you a minute to adjust. 
“So big,” you groaned. 
“You can take it,” he grunted as he started to move. You were so wet, so tight, so perfect. He couldn’t get you out of his head, and this was a lot better than what he was imagining. 
-------------
You weren’t sure what time it was when you fell asleep, but you were fucking exhausted. You fell asleep with his arms around you, and you woke up the same way, with your head pounding and the uncontrollable urge to vomit.
What had you done?
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obx masterlist :)
navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games, challengers :)
taglist: (comment to be added :))
@hockeybabe87 @maybankslover @anightlikethisss @linaaaaa654 @ijustwanttoreadlols @ihe4rttwd @sunny1616 @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafeecameronsbitch @drewswifeeee @lovegeorgia @houseofperfecttaste @ymnizuh
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
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Have some more language brainrot for your brainrot
Writer reader getting kind of insecure that even if they write something nobody will understand it, so when Al haithem askes you if he can keep a draft or two just for analyzing, there's hesitant agreement but ultimately you tell him to please burn the documents once he's done. They're too awkward to look at now...
Only he doesn't burn them, in fact he ends up recruiting several people close to the creator with knowledge of olden speak to analyze them. A funeral parlor consultant well known for his historical knowledge, a 500 year old shrine maiden who owns and runs her own publishing house, and a bard who somehow butted his way in on the project. None of them could resist the opportunity to witness the creator's sacred scriptures with their own eyes.
Needless to say, the papers ended up being fought over and have been making their rounds around your acolytes. It started with Ei, who insisted that as an archon she also should see the creator's work with her own eyes. Then once Ningguang found out, she ordered they be handed over to a team of literary analysts in order to be properly handled and deciphered. Things got really messy quick, but have luckily come to a halt as none of the acolytes want the creator to know their random writings are being fought over.
Especially when it comes to the creator's sullen additute. Their acolytes first have to convince their holiness that their inability to read and understand the creator's writing shouldn't prevent you from doing what you love. In fact... could they convince you to write some more?
WRITER OR READER WITH TALENTS HAS MY WHOLE HEART LIKE-
On one hand, same 💀 id be terrified for my all time fav skrunklies to see my bs
But at the same time i rlly wanna show them goddamit- THANK U FOR THE BRAIN FOOD IM RUNNING LAPS AROUND MY HOUSE THINKING ABT THIS-
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Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them), Writer!Reader
Planet: Language Shenanigans
Orbit: Scenario
Stars: Alhaitham mostly, some of Kaveh, mentions of other Sumeru characters
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Insecure about craft/writing, anxious first pov (not serious),
& Trigger Warnings: Mild Negative self-talk, insecure perspective/reader “you”, possible anxiety depiction.
You were not a very confident writer.
This had been an avoidable feeling ever since you picked up a pen for the first time and were asked to write a story for school.
You were always anxious turning in essays, letting friends proofread them, anything that would expose your writing to more eyes, because you’d learned the hard way early on that as you get older and better at something, the stuff from the beginning… starts to look a lot different than you remember.
things you used to be proud of after having completed them in the moment, were something you struggled not to rip to shreds a year or two after you re-found it.
If it weren’t for other writers advising holding onto old work so you can see your progress over time, you’d have probably literally nothing older than one year on your ao3, wattpad, etc…
So when you had the fortunate luck (no it is not unfortunately, you are very happy to be here tbh) to fall headfirst into your video game you’ve been obsessed with lately,
You were not planning on showing them any of your writing.
Why would you, after all? You’ve got the weapons, the artifacts, everything they need to be more powerful. Why would you show them a silly little story you wrote? Fanfic or otherwise, not that theyll recognize any characters besides themselves, but still.
Alhaitham, bc ofc it was alhaitham, cocky, deviously aware bastard he is, caught you writing in your spare time first.
You’d gotten your hands on an old journal (if made you feel better than something completely new, a nice worn leather journal, sold at a secondhand shop from an old adventurer) and had started to write what you could remember about some of your ideas you’d had drafts for in your old world
After initially walking in on you writing in the House of Daena (it was the closest you could get to lofi girl, god u missed her lmao), you nearly jumped a foot in the air bc Haitham’s a nosy bitch and leaned over your shoulder and scared the absolute shit out of you, mans goes from asking politely, to begging you to let him read some of your writing over the course of 3 weeks (a month really)
Finally, after this 6 ft (about 180cm) man leans down one day (you’re sitting writing again), and gives you the most insanely good?? puppy dog eyes??? you’ve ever seen on a man???
you give in, revise a draft about 5 times in a row, lose sleep bc ur having a breakdown about alhaitham judging ur writing the night before you give him his copy-
and hand over a small short story for him to read. you specifically leave a little note not to judge you so hard for Haitham bc u werent used to people reading ur work/let alone someone as highly academic as him, ESPECIALLY since your speech is already so much more archaic than his/all of Teyvats-
His stupid green eyes with diamonds look into your soul (are they sparkling??) and he braces your shoulders after you give him his copy,
“Mine Greatest Guide, you hath deemed this one worthy of thy trust of your creations personally, I would be a fool to gaze upon it in jest. To take this work as anything less than a masterpiece in its infant stages.”
…you just leave him to it, and are nearly running out of there (u managed to be calm enough to just speedwalk),
and you make a point to not ask what he thought about it, or even bring it up at all
you’re kind of hoping he forgot tbh… and so nothing happens!
Nothing happens… for 2 weeks after you gave Haitham a copy of your short story.
You still don’t know Alhaitham’s opinion when you see the advertisement, a sign saying something about, a new book? By YOU???
You nearly start a mob because the shopkeeper insisted you sign some copies, but you only signed a few before too many people overwhelmed you, and seeing it was that same draft- !! Oh god, you’d been agonizing over the spelling errors you’d missed when you gave it to Alhaitham, and now it’s just out there???
(luckily it seems the reviews are positive, but dammit you’ve been rereading ur story u gave him for days, and now ur positive it’s shit-)
You make a break for it, and are literally running (more like speed-walking after a while, since u got further away) thru Sumeru City:
you pass by the open patio of a restaurant, the scholars are heatedly discussing ur characterization-
you pass by Dehya, Candace, and Dunyazard, the merc is waving around a copy of ur book, the other two women look excited abt the conversation-
oh my god-
Nahida is relaxing in one of the many little gazebos thruout Sumeru, while Wanderer seems to be reading your story to her-
You fucking track down Alhaitham’s house like a bloodhound.
You are banging the infamous gay roommates’ front door, panting til ur throat burns raw.
“Yes, yes, alright, greetings to you too! I was simply visiting the Acting Grand Sage Alhaitham, tis why I’m here- Greatest Lord?!”
Kaveh is nearly jumps a foot in the air at the sight of you, but recovers, (you’re still not tho lmao)
and invites you in bc apparently, Alhaitham’s been meaning to talk to you about your draft you gave him!
Oh yeah, you’ve got some words to give Haitham after giving him that damn draft privately-
But when he sees you, the fucker just- smiles??
Like he’s done nothing wrong???
You’re about to tear into him when he speaks first to tell you the good news!
He grabs your hands at the table and gets down on one knee, ohhhh no.
Alhaitham is giving you those damn begging puppy dog eyes again.
“My Greatest Lord, Giver of Power, and Guide to All, your exquisite story has entranced all of Teyvat, might I please insist you write a sequel? It is an excellent literary piece to analyze… or perhaps, even better, share other stories you’ve written??”
….Motherfucker.
Hello I’m alive! I just took a longer-than-usual break between posts from those last 2 mammoth pieces about gifts,
1: bc they were a lot to write in between writing other stuff like fanfics im already working on lol 2: I got busy with holidays and trying to apply to jobs!
Not that I’m still not doing that.. but you get what I mean!
Safe Travels Anon,
That being said, as you’ve probably noticed, I’ve made a kofi! so if you ever liked my writing (hot mess it is) and want to show me some love, feel free to leave a tip! :]
Iced coffee?? :0
💀♒
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche
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crow-stars · 11 months
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❝BIG COLD CASTLE, WARM LITTLE HEART❞
❦summary; the experience of warmth is so precious in somewhere always so cold ♪the characters in this story; gn!reader, malleus draconia ✎word count; 784 ❀what do the ghosts say?; romantic, reader and malleus are maried, he wants his cuddles after a long day, more of me pushing my cat malleus agenda, very fluff ☛the author's notes; nothing to note... ☪look at the catalogue?
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The castle that Malleus resided in always seemed to be cold. 
It gave a chill down the spine of anyone who visited for the first time and only continues to do so for many. The ones used to one have learned to ignore the cold, Malleus especially. The feeling of the cold never disappeared either, it was something that residents within the castle got used to. 
For most, people thought it was fitting. The King of Briar Valley with a stare that could send fear down anyone’s body, living somewhere that fit the exact atmosphere that he exuded. He was supposed to strike fear into the hearts of those who dare to cross him. 
Though such things couldn’t be further from the truth, for Malleus yearned for warmth as much as one could. 
He wished he could fill the castle with the warmth and joy that he yearned for when he was younger. But, for now, Malleus was able to get that warmth from you. 
Everyday, without fail, Malleus would leave his duties at the same time every night. It didn’t matter if something else came up, he would always return back to his chambers where you would always await, arms open to the fae.
Tonight was just the same, Malleus’ imposing figure striding through the halls of the castle, his face that same neutral expression on his face. He passed by many servants who bowed to him in respect, yet he didn’t pay much mind to them, one intent in his mind. He finally approaches his chambers, opening the door and closing it behind him with a resounding thunk. 
When Malleus was finally in his room, his safe place, Malleus’ eyes landed on you, sitting on the bed, covered already by the plush blankets. You looked up at him from what you were doing and, already, Malleus could feel his heart swell with affection for you.
He didn’t even bother to change out of his royal attire, instead heading straight to the bed. Malleus all but threw himself onto you, head resting on your lap and curled up against you. It makes gentle laughter slip past you, the type of laugh that Malleus adores hearing from you. 
“Oh, I missed you...” 
“Was your day that bad?” Your hand went to run through his hair, finger toying with the ends of his locks. Your other hand was already in Malleus’ grasp, being held tightly in his left hand. The ring on his ring finger brushed lightly against your skin, the ring Malleus declared he would never take off unless someone ripped it from his cold, dead hands. The declaration made you laugh, at first, though as time went on it was pretty clear he was serious. 
And you weren’t even sure if fae wore rings to show they were wed either. You’re pretty sure that one of the only reasons he insisted on rings was to integrate a bit of your own culture into his life, perhaps to feel more connected to you. It’s an undeniably sweet gesture that Lilia would always coo and tease the king about it.
Malleus let out another heavy sigh and shook his head, nuzzling further into your body. You exuded a heat that Malleus could find in no one else, a familiar warmth that was like sitting next to the hearth of a fire, yet one that seeped further than his skin and into his heart. 
“Everything is well today. Perhaps I just missed more than usual, my treasure.” Your hand ran through Malleus’ hair, earning a pleased rumble from Malleus in return. His head pushed further into your hand, silently asking for more of the affection that only you can give him. 
His response makes you chuckle in response, twirling a lock of hair between two fingers before continuing to run your hand through his hair. “You always miss me.” 
Malleus looked up at you, a light smile spread across his lips. The look in his eyes could only be described as adoring, a softness that was reserved only when he looks at you present. “Indeed I do. That doesn’t stop how I feel.” His left hand squeezed yours and you returned the gesture, smiling back at Malleus. 
Oh, how he loved to see you smile, specifically to see you smile because of him. It made him feel so soft, so warm in his chest he felt like he was going to be engulfed in flames and reduced to nothing, yet he would gladly welcome being burned if it meant it was because of you. 
You were his warmth among the cold castle that Malleus lived in and he couldn’t ask for it to be anyone else.
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aviiarie · 2 months
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THE MIST HASHIRA'S TSUGUKO — platonic muichiro & reader !
synopsis. what is the mist hashira like with a tsuguko? warnings. slight spoilers for muichiro's backstory. kny-typical warnings (violence, death, etc.) notes. STRICTLY PLATONIC. demon slayer!reader. reader uses mist breathing. gn!reader. they/them used. fluff. 1.2k words. wrote this impulsively instead of studying :3
kyojuro ver.
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in all honesty, muichiro never planned on taking on a tsuguko. he didn't care too much about finding a successor, and even if he did, there wasn't a single demon slayer in the corps who had what it took to be the next mist hashira. they were all too cowardly, too brash, too loud, or too timid. mist breathing was an art form, and the demon slayers were messy toddlers playing with finger paints. none of them caught his eye.
well. except for one.
he was walking in step with shinobu, on their way to a hashira when the sound of fighting interrupted his cloud-watching. he glanced away for a moment to locate the source of the sound, seeing a lithe figure hacking and slashing across a training dummy with strikes of—was that mist breathing?
this was immediately followed by pestering a thoroughly uninterested shinobu with endless questions—who is that demon slayer? have i met them before? how long have they been here?—until he inevitably forgot all about them. shinobu, however remembered.
she was tending to one of their injuries when she casually mentioned muichiro's sudden interest in their mist breathing.
“tokito seemed impressed with your skills, when he saw you. truthfully, there aren’t many mist breathing users in the corps as of late, which is why we weren’t able to find you a teacher. it seems you’ve been learning plenty on your own, however. who knows, maybe you might end up as his tsuguko!”
the words were an off-handed joke, but they took them seriously nonetheless. all of the demon slayers knew that the mist hashira didn't have or want a tsuguko, but [name] needed a teacher and well... they might as well try, even if it's in vain.
when muichiro got the application, he was puzzled. for starters, he had no memory of who this random demon slayer was, or why they wanted him to be their mentor. a quick refresher from mitsuri—who had been told the entire story over tea with shinobu, and was reading over his shoulder when he got the letter—and he learnt that they were not only a mist breathing user, but one of the most talented demon slayers in the corps.
it didn't take him long to come to his conclusion. most of the demon slayer corps may be useless, but who was he to deny one of the few talented demon slayers the chance to improve upon their skills?
his fellow hashira were surprised by his choice, but he just shrugged away their questions.
“if they're useless, i'll just give up on them. simple as that.”
training with muichiro is... intense. he has very high expectations of his student, which is one of the reasons few demon slayers even consider him as a mentor. they need to be agile enough to dodge a flurry of his attacks, quick enough to land a hit on him, and strong enough to cut through stone.
but to his surprise, they were quick to meet his expectations. in addition, their control over mist breathing was remarkably powerful, even if it paled in comparison to his own. most of their lessons turned from standard swordsmanship—of which they had already underwent plenty of training—to teaching them different techniques to master their skills.
the first time they trained together, he used wooden training swords. every instance after that, he insisted they used their own weapons instead.
“why would we bother with training swords? do you plan on beheading demons with these flimsy things?”
for the first few weeks, he continuously forgot that he even had a tsuguko. he wouldn't show up to their scheduled practices, leaving them waiting for hours, and were met with a blank stare when they finally tracked him down.
once they started training regularly though, they slowly began to cement themself in his memory. he would even make a point to jot down notes in a small journal to keep track of what he thought was important enough to remember about them.
although, much of what he deemed 'important' was rather trivial. some of his notes include: [name] is my tsugoku. they are allergic to [food]. their favourite colour is [colour]. they don't like it when i am late, even if they don't get angry at me. bring them a paper airplane the next time we meet.
how he treats them overall would differ depending on their age. if they were about the same age as him, or even younger, he would have a deep desire to protect them stirring in his gut. he can't quite narrow down the part of him that aches to keep them safe, but when he looks at them he sees a mirror of himself, young and scared and needing someone to shelter them from harm.
god forbid anyone try to give them a hard time for any reason. human or demon, that is his tsuguko and he'll be damned if he let anything happen to them.
on the opposite side of the spectrum, if they happened to be older than him... he would find it endlessly amusing. they try to pull the 'i'm literally older than you' card? well too bad, he's got the 'and yet you're the only one of us who isn't a hashira' card.
he would honestly treat them like an older sibling, if unconsciously. even if he's technically their mentor, he holds a great deal of respect towards them for their strength and bravery, and would look up to them a lot. definitely would try to impress them with his mist breathing.
no matter their age, he is very proud of them. when they go on their first solo mission after becoming his tsuguko and return victorious, he brags to anyone that will listen. someone try to talk about their own mission? he's cutting in with-
“but did you hear about [name]? they actually defeated a demon twice the strength of that one.”
but after muichiro regains his memories... oh boy.
i think they would be the first person he seeks out after he returns from the swordsmith village. he would make a beeline for their room, ignoring everyone else in his path. they're sitting on their bed and startle as he enters, but he just collapses on top of their sheets beside them. no amount of questioning earns them anything more than a mumble as a response. it's clear he's upset, but without knowing why, there is little they can do.
eventually they settle with cautiously pulling him into a hug, and can feel the tension leak out of his body as he melts into the embrace. no words are spoken, but it doesn't take long for him to start to cry.
he mumbles the entire story with his face buried in the front of their clothes, recounting the memories of his past that had returned to him mid-battle. he describes his brother, his parents, his home that is long gone.
even through his tears, they don't let him go, listening while tracing soothing circles across his back.
it's then that he realizes it: he might have lost everyone he loved, but that doesn't mean he doesn't still have a family, of sorts.
even if he never planned on taking on a tsuguko, muichiro is happy with the one he ended up with. and though he isn't the most conventional mentor, they are more than happy with him too.
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© aviiarie 2024. do not copy, repost, translate or use my work to train ai.
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gay-jesus-probably · 1 year
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Let me just preface this by saying everyone is allowed to have their own opinions, TOTK is a really fun game, and I'm glad that other people have been able to enjoy the story as well.
...But I'm being dead serious with my complaints about the narrative being 100% imperialist propaganda. And I'm getting really tired of people replying to those posts by saying it can't be imperialist propaganda, because imperialism is bad and the game says that Hyrule is the good guys.
Like, guys. That's not the argument you think it is. Yes, I am aware that the game tells us Ganondorf is a flat, one dimensional character with no ambitions, interests or motivations beyond destroying the entire world for the hell of it, and also it's totally not racist because he's green, not brown like literally every other member of his race. Unfortunately literally all of these things are kind of the entire goddamn problem.
See, the thing is, everyone trying to make these arguments is accepting the game at face value. Hyrule is the perfect and almighty nation chosen by the demigod Zonai, and whose royal family has the right to rule due to their divine heritage. The other races exist to serve the glory of Hyrule, and they're happy to do it. Ganondorf is pure evil and must be stopped at any costs.
But that's not how anything works. The story informing me that Hyrule is the ultimate good that has done nothing wrong is the whole goddamn reason why I don't trust Hyrule at all. There's always more of a reason than that. And the game fucking suggests there was more going on! Ganondorf mentions Rauru has repeatedly 'invited' the Gerudo to become Rauru's subjects, and let's be clear here, it doesn't matter how peaceful those 'invitations' were, when the guy who owns every single magical nuclear missile in the world repeatedly demands you surrender to him, there's always going to be an implied threat of 'do it or get magically nuked'. Just that power difference alone shows us exactly why Ganon would feel threatened enough to invade. It's because Rauru was holding a gun to his head, and Ganon was expected to just trust that he'd never pull the trigger.
And yes, even if it wasn't intentional Hyrule was always threatening to wipe out the other nations, considering the entire royal family walked around openly wearing their magical nukes as cute accessories. If they couldn't be safely hidden away, there wouldn't be four other secret stones sitting untouched in a vault until the last second.
But that's never acknowledged. Of course Hyrule is the only nation with the right to the secret stones; even if other races get to touch them, they can only have them if they swear eternal blind loyalty and servitude to the glory of King Rauru and Princess Zelda. Ganon wanting to have one magical nuclear bomb out of a stockpile of eight of them is proof that he's dangerous and evil. I mean my god, what if he just walked around all day wearing a magical nuke and using its power for his own benefit, that would be terrifying. It's only okay when Hylian royalty does it.
And you can't argue that Ganon betrayed his own people, considering we don't get to know fucking anything about his relationship with his people. He's shows as the leader of the Gerudo, we're told he's a hero to his people, he has soldiers that loyally follow him into battle... and then oh nevermind, they all hate him and will spend eternity trying to atone for sharing a race with him. How did the entire race do a complete 180 in the span of at most a few months? Who cares, what's important is that now they accept they exist to serve Hyrule so they get to be the good guys now and we don't need to know why they were following Ganondorf, or why they stopped following him.
Basically my point is that yeah, I fucking know how the game insists everything went down. That's the entire reason I think it's imperialist propaganda, because the entire story feels like Hylian propaganda to conceal and justify some horrific atrocities that caused all of this. I literally do not believe that I'm getting the story through reliable narrators, especially considering that the only people allowed to actually tell me the story are all the characters that have the most reasons to be heavily biased in favour of Hyrule.
When the game shows me protagonists that have a massive amount of power and control over the entire world, then says the bad guy doesn't like that system just because he's evil, and literally nothing and nobody in the game says anything to oppose that take, I have some questions about what the fuck the story isn't telling me. And I'd really appreciate it if people would stop trying to argue with me just by telling me to stop asking those questions.
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followerofmercy · 5 months
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I think Freminet has some of the most interesting dissonance in his self perception of any Genshin character.
Like, of the Hearthlings we know, he's one of the most emotionally mature and intelligent. Lynette might still have him beat, but after playing her hangout... I dunno. I think they're tied. Lyney is Crumbling, Alrecchino is. Well. Arlecchino. Everyone else is a deeply traumatized child or adult and Freminet seems to pretty regularly be people's emotional support. His character stories talk about getting his vision by saving a bunch of other kids on a dive that went bad. The Selkie event literally had him being a therapist for a grownass woman, citing his past experiences with all the other Hearthlings that have died or killed themselves. And he handled that situation WELL. Yeah, he seems to live in a fantasy, but goddamn he's alive and a lot of people in his position aren't so clearly something is working.
Either his or Lyney's character story talks about the time Freminet had reached out to Lyney to try to ease his burdens, which resulted in Lyney blowing up at him. That probably contributed to Freminet thinking he's not good at it, but I think the reason Lyney reacted so badly was BECAUSE Freminet is actually a good support. He can't allow himself that from the little brother he's supposed to protect.
Freminet seems to both cry and dissociate often, but like... Kiddo you are in fact the only person in this family actually processing your emotions. Lynette dissociates 24/7. Arlecchino. Lyney lies and tells everyone he's fine and would literally rather die than admit otherwise. In comparison, Freminet is doing FANTASTIC
Freminet also gets a lot out of helping people! Like anyone, he needs to feel useful and needed. He seems to be an excellent mentor to the younger Hearthlings and perfectly competent on his own, but when you put him in a room with Lyney and Lynette who baby him and insist that THEY take care of HIM, he withdraws into himself.
Like, Freminet by himself feels like a young man and Freminet with the magician twins feels like a teenager. I have no idea how old he actually is. Logically, he would be OLDER than them! He's been with the House much, much longer and his experience shows. I think it's fascinating that they love him SO MUCH and yet, they just Cannot let him help them. Which is hurting him.
(Lynette is much better about not babying him and that is probably why their relationship is so much better than Freminet and Lyney's. Also why she keeps having to mediate between them. Because Lyney charges off trying to Fix Everything and that just makes Freminet feel useless and he doesn't want to get in the way and- you get the point)
Idk. It's hard to tell what things the previous director said to him vs what Arlecchino has said to him. I'm inclined to think our Arlecchino was the one that said he cries too much, but in a "crying in front of your enemies will get you killed" way and she herself is too fucked up to realize how "you cry too much" could be damaging.
Also I try not to consider gameplay stuff when it comes to story, but Freminet also has some of the most BRUTAL animations. He SMASHES HIS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT METAL PENGUIN INTO HIS ENEMY'S FACE. He doesn't think he's the most amazing fighter, and by Fatui standards he probably isn't, but he is winning fights against most grown men.
Tldr Freminet thinks he cries too much and is a burden and isn't good at helping people when he's actually the most mentally stable Hearthling send tweet
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emelinstriker · 1 year
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{Twice As Bad AU} Wukong & Macaque ♤ Even Little Things
Art drawn by me.
My little take on @semisolidmind's TAB AU due to peeps asking me to cover that as an X Reader ever since that one doodle I once did for it.
As usual, tweaked some things a bit in the AU just for the sake of the plot- And also cuz I haven't really kept track of all the canon things in the AU, so I'm mostly just using the basic premise of the AU and added/removed some things for the story twist, humor and all that. So please don't take it as canon y'all-
Also, I speedran this within three days to post it earlier than planned, so... Happy birthday, Semi! Have 4k words of ya bois as birthday gift, I guess. :D
TW: Descriptions of death and gore
[TL;DR] Monke have 'yummy' berry if customer have coin.
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♤ ~ Emotional Mix ~ ♤
It started out as a regular day at the market for you.
You owned a little stall where you would sell berries you and your little monkey friends collected. You kept on insisting that you wanted to collect them on your own, but the two ginger-furred and dark-furred monkeys just wouldn't leave you alone. Though, their kindness and willingness to help you did prove useful in the end. You managed to garner a lot of berries by the end of the day. How they managed to get them all? You would never know. You didn't exactly question it much either due to how many you were able to sell. Sales were pretty good today as well... And as per usual, your two little monkeys were practically guarding you and your stall, which you found really adorable. They looked like two innocent and fluffy puppies looking out for their beloved owner. And their cuteness did definitely contribute to your berry selling success.
Though, while they were pretty quiet and polite towards your customers that were just there to buy berries, there were some they truly didn't like to have around you at all... More specifically, those who showed even the slightest bit of romantic interest towards you.
Especially that farmer boy.
God, they really hated that guy for some reason.
Even if they just saw him walk across the street, far away from where you actually were, they would already start letting out aggressive sounds of pure hatred. Meanwhile you would just awkwardly wave at the poor guy. Though, besides the few customers that had interest in you, your monkeys were pretty well-behaved when you were around. You found it adorable how they would even help fill up tiny bags with berries like little helpers. And if they weren't doing that, they would either sit or lie around on your stall or cling onto you while you worked. They especially loved body contact with you, so they mostly clung onto you. All they wanted in return for their help was your affection, oddly enough. No snack either, just affection. You only had to give them little kisses or cuddle them a bit and they were already melting in your arms. Another cute thing they would do whenever you were selling berries was to give you gifts...
Well, it certainly sounds cute in theory.
However, their gifts ranged from not only some simple shiny rocks and flowers, but also to literal little animals and insects... Which were usually alive whenever they were the dark-furred monkey's gift, but were most definitely always dead in the ginger-furred monkey's case. Of course, you would still praise them as to not upset them... And while they were highly aware of your discomfort whenever they brought in animals and insects, they just ignored it. Then again, you never thought much of it since in your eyes, they were just monkeys. Just two simple, silly, little monkeys. Why would they respect your discomforts when they couldn't even talk?
Well, despite your little monkeys not being able to talk to you, they did seem to understand you. Which felt really nice, considering most in the village either didn't trust you or enjoy talking to you... So their company was very endearing and appreciated.
Especially in certain moments...
"What do you mean you're out of berries?" A tough-looking man asked, definitely pissed off. So you tried to stay calm and defuse the situation as best as you could.
"Sorry, sir... But all berries are already sold out. The last batch was sold a few minutes ago. B-But you could come back tomorrow and-" "I don't have the fucking time to come back tomorrow! I need those berries now!" He rudely cut you off.
"I, uh, understand, sir, but-" "I know you still have berries in stock! I can see a bunch in the basket over there!" He cut you off again, yelling in your face as he pointed towards the basket behind you. You grimaced a little in discomfort.
"Sir, those are berries I'll deliver after work to a woman who already paid for them-" "Then give her that money back or some shit, will ya?! Just give me those damn berries instead already!" The man looked like he would jump behind the stall's counter any moment now to launch himself at you, when you suddenly heard very familiar growling coming from behind the man... He turned around, only to see two small monkeys glaring furiously at him.
The man scoffed. "The fuck are those doing here? Are those your pets or some shit?" You gave your monkeys worried glances, not wanting them to get involved and get hurt. This man looked tough and would have no problem getting rid of two little monkeys...
But your monkeys were different.
Instead of backing down, they slowly approached the man aggressively on all fours. Their tails were dangerously swaying behind them as they snarled at him... While they could tolerate the presence of customers in most cases, this was one of the few cases where they really were just out to murder. All they needed was an opening...
Wukong then seemingly stopped snarling for a moment as he whispered something extremely quietly, to which Macaque nodded. While Macaque continued to aggressively approach the man, his brother gave the man one last glare before running up to you instead, launching himself at you. Startled, you stumbled back a bit as he jumps at you. And with seemingly extreme strength, he managed to knock you down to the ground behind your stall. Your stall obscured your vision of the man and your other monkey. You groaned a bit in pain before you looked at the ginger-furred monkey, who just smiled at you with a love-struck gaze. He didn't attack you or anything, his tail just swayed happily as he nuzzled you. You, of course, were confused by his sudden mood change. "Why did you tackle me-"
Then, you heard a scream from the man for just a split second before the other monkey's snarling suddenly stopped. Everything was silent. Suspicious and confused, you held the ginger-furred monkey against your chest while he continued to happily nuzzle into you. You then stood back up and looked towards the front of your stall... The man was gone. But the dark-furred monkey was still there, sitting contently like a good boy where the man once was. His tail happily swayed behind him as well as if nothing ever happened just now...
The man's decomposing body was found hanging from a tree by his own guts in the forest a few days later. According to those who found his corpse, his body was completely mangled. His face was seemingly ripped or mauled off, displaying his skull with his eyes missing. His rib cage seemed to have been crushed and his abdomen was torn wide open. Part of his organs were missing, and a single bloody peach was found buried inside the body. His tongue was ripped off and literally stuffed down his throat, as if it were there to tell him to forever keep quiet... Not to mention all his broken bones that were not just simply snapped, but crushed into pieces. The entire scene was extremely horrifying for those that saw his remains. Some sort of brutal demon must've killed him. Yet the reasons were unknown as to why this man would be murdered in such a gruesome way... What did the man think in his last moments? Was he immediately dead or was he tortured alive? The people of the village seemed to mentally point their fingers in your direction, however. Especially due to how you were one of the last people they saw him with.
That was just one of the strange happenings surrounding you and your monkey companions.
Something else the villagers noticed was the other rather recent murder cases looked similar, though less brutal. Whoever, or whatever, killed the other people also killed this man. But the other victims usually only had their abdomens be ripped open and their organs ripped out, for whatever reason... Though, they all were found with a single bloody peach inside them.
And of course, villagers kept you in mind as a major suspect. Which was sort of understandable since all those people were people who basically told you to get lost and fuck off, telling you that you don't belong in their community. The more people suspected you to be at least involve in the serial murders, the less people would stop by your berry stall. Which in turn made you feel sad and confused... Did you do something wrong?
Your two little monkeys noticed your guilt and self-doubt creeping in, and they didn't like seeing you beat yourself like this over whatever those other humans thought of you.
Thus, they decided now was the time to make themselves known and 'save' you from this unworthy village.
And what better way than to go out with a bang?
So, they decided to help 'sell' some berry bags personally and directly. They packed them up themselves again and snuck into peoples' houses, taking some of their coins and leaving a bag of berries everywhere they went. The two of them were extremely helpful. They came back to you with coins everytime, so you assumed they managed to sell their little bags to happy customers. All would be fine again soon...
...At least, that's what you had hoped.
News spread fast in the village.
A death was reported in the east.
Another further north.
Few more in the west.
The southern area seemed to have multiple dead people already...
People were dropping dead like flies everywhere within the span of just a single day...
The entire panic rising within the village only seemed to enhance your uneasiness as well. You were mostly outside around your stall after all... What if this so called serial killer found you? Or perhaps there was a deadly virus going around and you shouldn't even be outside in the first place...
You held your monkeys close in worry as you feared for their and your own safety, standing behind your stall once more. While you were feeling uneasy, your monkey companions only seemed all too happy and content with no care in the world as you let them nuzzle into you with cute little chirps. Sighing, you looked at all the berries you still haven't managed to sell. Feeling a little hungry, you decided to eat a few of the berries you had. After taking one of the berry bags the monkeys had packed, you grabbed a few of the berries and were about to eat them.
Suddenly, the ginger-furred one stopped you by quickly switching from clinging onto your chest to clinging onto the arm that was holding the berries, stretching his body from your arm up to your hand to clasp his own little hands around it, keeping you from eating the berry. He looked at you with seemingly slightly concerned eyes, shaking his head as he let out quiet noises, which sounded like he was begging you not to eat them. It was strange how strong this little monkey actually was... His tiny hands were preventing you from even opening your hand. The dark-furred monkey also seemed to join in on stopping you from consuming those berries as he nuzzles into your neck, wrapping his tail around the arm that's holding the bag. The sight must've looked funny to others if they were passing by, to be honest.
Confused, you decide to just listen to the monkeys and not eat the berries... Maybe they were just upset that you'd wanna unpack and eat the berries they had so nicely packed for customers earlier. Which would make sense.
Another day had passed and...
Where was everyone?
You set up your bags at your stall and were patiently waiting for someone, anyone, to even just walk past. However, everything was silent for a few hours. Dead silent for a village that had a bunch of gossip going around. Not even your monkey companions were following you this morning, oddly enough. This only added to your fear since those little guys were like your comfort pets.
Another hour passed and finally some sound was heard in the distance. Were those... screams?
Now more on edge than ever, you decided that maybe you should sit this day out on trying to sell... You didn't exactly want to lose your life to some massacre or virus after all. A bit panicked by the scream, you quickly tried to pack up the little berry bags into a basket. But as you were starting to pack up, you could hear a male voice fake coughing to grab your attention. Startled by the sudden noise after all the dead silence, you almost dropped one bag before you turned to face the person in front of your stall... Or, uh... Monkey...?
This dark-furred monkey seemed familiar... Maybe he was related to one of your little monkey friends?
He smirked at you as he leaned against the stall, his tail swaying slowly behind him. "Hey there, sugarplum. Did I arrive a bit too late? My brother and I heard you sell delicious berries here."
You waved your hand dismissively, nervous as you never had a monkey, or rather a demon in this case, being a customer. The nickname was also making you a little nervous, but maybe he was just one of those people who give everyone they see nicknames. "Oh- No, no- You're not late- I just... Didn't think I would get any customers today..."
He leaned in a bit closer to you. "Oh? Why's that? Aren't your berries said to be the best in this village though?"
"Uh, well... Yes, but usually some customers would've already bought some at this time in the day... But you'd be my first customer today." You admitted sheepishly. He only seemed to grin... You didn't know he could hear your anxious heartbeat. He knew you didn't exactly feel safe. But you were still trying to be calm and polite towards even a dangerous-looking demon him. Which he found cute. That's when his ear twitched as he heard something you couldn't hear, making his grin turn into a more... seductive one.
"I'm actually not here to buy any of those bags you're offering. I am interested in one specific berry from your stall, however."
You blinked at him in confusion. "...What berry? They're all pretty much the same?"
"Not all of them." He responded. The simian chuckled as he looked at you with intent. "There's one berry my brother and I have been keeping a close eye on for quite a while now, and we want to claim that berry for ourselves... It simply sticks out. Just like a delicious peach amongst a bunch of mediocre berries. My brother's words, not mine. But I do have to agree with him on this one." He then leaned in a little closer to you, still giving you this sort of seductive grin. "And as an honorable and kind merchant, surely you would love to fulfill a customer's simple request... Right?"
His deep voice made him sound so smooth, but his words and the way he said them also just sounded... Off... This was not a regular exchange for food, that much you could tell. But before you could reply, you heard another voice coming from behind you. "Well, well, well... How's business? Did I miss anything, Macaque?" You turned around in shock, noticing a ginger-furred simian behind you. Some sort of red and gold staff is held loosely on his shoulder as he smirked. Though, the thing that set you off the most were the clear blood spots on his fur, his clothes, and especially on one side of his staff...
"Nah, you didn't miss a thing. I was just mentioning what we wanted to 'buy'." Macaque responded with a shrug as he leaned back a bit, though still resting with his arms on the stall's counter.
They could clearly tell you were scared. And of course, as your beloved monkeys, they wanted to make you feel as comfortable around them as possible. So, maybe a little bit of an introduction would make things easier. The ginger-furred monkey raised his free hand with a little wave, smiling kindly as if he didn't just murder humans a few minutes ago. "Hey, peaches! My name is Sun Wukong. Legendary Monkey King and Great Sage Equal To Heaven! Also strongest demon you'll ever see as well as the most sexy monkey in existence- Aaaanyway, this is my sworn brother, and second-in-command, the Six-Eared Macaque." He said to break the ice, gesturing towards the dark-furred monkey as well.
"Just call me Macaque. And him Wukong." Macaque added with a bit of a shrugging hand motion. Then he moves his hand just enough to point towards his brother with a taunting, shit-eating grin. "It's much easier than Six-Eared Macaque and whatever the fuck long ass title Wukong decided to give himself." He grins smugly, to which Wukong huffs in a rather arrogant way.
"Well, excuse me for having achieved more in life than you." Wukong retorted.
"Great Sage Equal To Heaven was not an achievement if you practically begged for it."
"But Warlord was."
"You didn't even name that title in your introduction though??"
"I didn't wanna make them feel more anxious than they already are, okay??"
"And since when are you the most sexy monkey in existence?? That's bullshit and you know it."
"Hey! That title may be a tiny bit opinion-based, but it is an accurate description of me."
"Could you stop letting your ego go to your head for like five minutes? I'm still the brains in this duo. And the brain doesn't need the muscle's ego surrounding it."
"...Okay, now this is getting fucking personal, you goddamn hypocrite-"
To be honest, you weren't exactly scared at this moment anymore, just confused and uncomfortable due to them arguing and practically being so close to just claw at each other's throats over petty titles. Macaque rolled his eyes at Wukong before turning back to you, trying to get back on topic to avoid Wukong getting pissed at him over nothing again. "So about that 'peach amongst berries' talk-" Suddenly, Wukong quickly wrapped an arm around you, pulling you against his blood-stained armor with a grin. His annoyed mood immediately flipped like a switch to a more love-struck one again.
"Oh? Did our peaches agree? Was my pick-up line enough to convince them~? Did you tell them about the real us yet?" He hummed. You grimaced a bit in discomfort at him suddenly touching you so casually. Especially because you could tell he reeked of death... Was... Was he the one who killed those people...? The more you thought about it, the more connections clicked in your mind... The peach references, the way people described the latest murder of the man who yelled at you, the fact that for some reason it's all connected to literal demon monkeys...
Your heartbeat rose up, making Macaque smirk. "Well, not verbally... But I think they're starting to understand what's happening on their own. What a smart human we've picked!"
"Y-You- Wh- Wait what-" You stammered out in shock, definitely now more scared than ever before. Wukong quickly picked you up into his arms after making his staff seemingly disappear into thin air. His strength was no joke either as he clearly didn't struggle at all in holding you. His tail was happily moving behind him in excitement.
"C'mon, Macaque. We got what we came here for." Wukong stated as he walked a bit further away from your stall. You attempted to escape by trying to move out of his grip, but despite barely even gripping onto you, you were simply just flailing around a bit, clearly unable to escape your cage that were his arms. He simply ignored your attempt at an escape as he smiled contently, giving you a very familiar love-struck look...
That reminded you of your little monkey companions. Your heartbeat spiked and Macaque took notice. He raised an eyebrow at you in confusion because your heartbeat didn't change much since you started flailing in Wukong's arms. "Is something wrong, (Y/N)?"
You stopped in shock, looking at the dark-furred monkey with wide eyes. "W-Wh... H-How do you know my name?"
Ah. Right, right. You didn't know yet.
Macaque chuckled as he cupped your cheek with you still in his brother's arms. "Well, you see... We sorta picked up your name during the weeks, or I guess months at this point, when we were helping you around the village. You know, packing up berries and all that... We even made sure the latest batches had the freshest type of toxin for the best quality!" He grinned maliciously as he crossed his arms. Your mouth hung agape in shock as some tears gathered in your eyes...
"You... Y-You were those two monkeys...?" You asked quietly in disbelief... All those deaths... If they put those toxic berries in the bags you were paid for... Didn't that automatically make you a form of accomplice in their schemes? And you got paid for basically allowing them to kill all these people. You started to sob, "...Oh my god... No, no, no... This- T-This can't be- I-I would never h-help... kill- I-I d-didn't mean t-to-"
Wukong then leaned his head down a bit to kiss your forehead with a faint blush and a soft smile. "Shhh... It's fine, peaches. Don't cry. You can just put all the blame on us if that helps." He said quietly, trying to sound comforting. The warlord clearly didn't care about all the dead people, he only cared about wanting to see you smile. He summoned some form of cloud and hopped onto it with you still trapped in his arms. Then he gave his second-in-command a malicious grin. "Macaque, I'll take them home. Sweep through the village one last time. If anyone is still alive, you know what to do."
Macaque returned his own malicious grin as he bowed a little. And with his bow, a shadow-like portal opened up beneath him, swallowing him into the ground. Meanwhile, you could only helplessly watch as Wukong made his cloud fly high up into the skies at pretty high speeds. If you managed to escape his grasp now, you would just be dead. Looking back towards your village, you could see bodies lying outside, most had no blood as they probably died to the berries, but some were clearly attacked earlier by Wukong... You also witnessed houses collapsing within giant flames...
Even the sky above the village itself seemed to look doomed from afar...
You could even still see another human begging for help before being tortured by Macaque's shadows...
You were just silently crying as Wukong took you away to Flower Fruit Mountain, which would soon become your new home. Whether you would like it or not. You were theirs now. And it all simply started with some small berries...
If only you had known that even the littlest of things could snowball you down to hell.
[ Masterlist ]
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lnfours · 11 months
Text
inclinations (invisible string) | l.n
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summary: a story told in two parts: summer and autumn. summer held the whirlwind romance that came crashing down too soon. autumn brought the repercussions of young love and learning how to fall in love all over again.
au: childhood friends to lovers, uni!au
warnings: language, some not so secret pining, moving fast but it’s for the plot, language, fluff, i kinda want what they have.
masterlist | next chapter | listen
₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊
THE HAMPTONS.
where every rich family spent their summer days by their fancy in ground pools or at the country club. the afternoons consisted of hitting the shops and cafes for some light shopping and brunch with friends.
but night time, that was your favorite time of day. that’s when everyone would hit the town for drinks or the few clubs that lingered, some would even host their own parties at their houses.
and one of those notorious parties would be the ones flo norris would throw. she was known for throwing the best parties in the hampton during the summer. and being her right hand woman, of course you’d always make an appearance.
which is where you were right now, sitting her room as she tried on bikinis. asking for your opinion on each.
“okay,” she said, walking out her closet in a black two piece, one that looked similar to the red one she had on prior, “how’s this one?”
you nodded, looking up from your phone, “i like it,”
“you said that about the others,” she pouted softly, “should i go with the red or this one?”
you twisted your lips in thought before pointing at the black two piece, “that one.”
her phone pinged on the bed and she sighed softly, “who is it?”
you glanced down at the phone. the name illuminating her lockscreen making your heart skip a beat.
“uh, your brother,” you said, picking the phone up.
“what’d he say?”
you clicked on the notification and typed in her passcode before reading the message out loud, “‘let mom and dad know max and i will be at the house in an hour please’.”
“just put the thumbs up on it,” she said and you double tapped the message before clicking on the thumbs up button. you locked her phone, setting it back on the bed as he hopped up next to you.
“you’re nervous,” she said, “why’re you nervous?”
you furrowed your eyebrows at her, “i’m not nervous?”
“you’re a bad liar,” she said, “c’mon! we’ve been friends for how long? i know when you’re lying and when you’re lying about being nervous?”
you swallowed and opened your mouth to speak before closing it. her eyes widened, “oh! is it because of him?”
him, meaning her brother. you knew that too well.
“you know, he’s not seeing anyone, it’s totally your chance,” she said and you laughed softly.
“no, flo-“
“oh come on!” she giggled, “you and i both know that if he wasn’t stupid, you two would practically be married by now.”
you laughed, “i doubt that.”
she sighed, getting up and offering her hands to you, “okay, fine then. no boys tonight. just us and our guests and officially kicking off summer. how about that?”
you sighed and looked up at her, laughing softly as you shook your head and grabbed her hands. you stood in front of her, “okay, deal.”
she smiled, pulling you into a hug, “good! now let’s do this, yeah?”
you nodded, following her down the stairs and through the house you had spent more summers at than your own. you made your way to the backyard, the speakers still playing music and the pool floats she insisted on blowing up earlier this afternoon floating around in the pool.
the night continued on and more and more people ended up showing up. you said hi to the other friends you had made during your summers in the hamptons, catching up with them.
flo raised her champagne glass to you, “cheers to us, and summer,” she smiled, “i missed you.”
you raised your glass and clinked it with hers, “cheers to us. i missed you.”
you both took sips and her eyes grew wide as she spotted someone in the crowd, a smile on her face as she called them over, “max fucking fewtrell is that you?!”
you followed her gaze and spotted the brunette as he made his way over. max fewtrell: lando’s right hand man, his best friend. wherever max was, lando definitely wasn’t far behind.
he smiled as he joined the two of you, giving flo a hug, “what’s up! as always, great party, flo.”
“thanks, max,” she smiled.
you smiled at him as he pulled you into a hug, “hey, y/n,”
“hey,” you smiled, “did you grow since the last time i saw you?”
you teased him and he rolled his eyes playfully, “ha ha, very funny.”
“where’s your other half?” flo asked, “better known as my annoying brother.”
max looked around at the groups of people, “he’s around here somewhere, think he went to go say hi to a few people.”
you both nodded, sitting and catching up with max. after a few more sips from your glass, you looked over at flo, “i’ll be right back.”
she nodded as you got up from your seat, making your way into the house through the crowds of people. on your way inside the house, you felt a hard chest collide with you. you were about to pull back and tell them to watch where they were going until you looked up and saw that stupid necklace.
the same one you had given to him for his sixteenth birthday.
“shit, i’m sorry,” he said and when you pulled away to look up at the man in front of you, it had finally registered, “y/n?”
you smiled, “hey, lan,”
he pulled you into a hug, “god, how’ve you been? it’s been a while.”
you pulled away from the hug, nodding as you brushed a piece of hair away from your face, “i’m good! i’m good, yknow, same shit different day, nothing totally new,” you said and he smiled at you, “how about you? how’s the whole racing thing going?”
he smiled, “it’s going good, actually. i’m just kind of glad to have a break, yknow, spend it here. haven’t been here in a while.”
you nodded, “yeah, guess thats what happens when you get hot and famous.”
he smirked playfully, “so you think i’m hot?”
you rolled your eyes, shoving his arm as you laughed, “you know what i meant!”
his eyes looked over you from head to toe, “i mean, you’re one to talk. when did you grow up?”
you laughed, placing a hand on your hip, “well if you’d come to the hamptons once in a while you’d know.”
“if i knew i was missing out on this, i would’ve put more of an effort to come around.”
you smiled, opening your mouth to speak before you were interrupted, “yo, lando!”
you both turned to look at who was calling his name, spotting max in the doorway, “flo needs your help with something.”
he nodded, “be there in a minute,”
“she said it was urgent.” max said and lando rolled his eyes softly and you laughed.
“it’s fine,” you said, “we’ll talk later, yeah?”
he nodded back down at you, turning to walk towards max, “what’re you doing tomorrow?”
“nothing yet,” you called back.
“good,” he said, “mini golf? i’ll text you?”
you smiled, “sounds good,”
he sent you a smile before walking through the door with max.
it was official: summer was your favorite season.
₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊
“you’re a cheater!” you laughed as he happily tapped his ball into the hole. he threw his hands up happily, cheering.
“maybe you’re just bad,” he said, crossing his arms as you got ready to take your shot, “your form is awful, hold on.”
you straightened up, watching as he walked up behind you. you sucked in a nervous breath as he leaned down and wrapped his arms around your own, his hands fixing your stance. he tapped his shoe against yours.
“spread your legs a little further,” he said, “and then pull back and follow through, don’t think too much.”
you looked down at the ball and back at the hole in the ground, “okay,”
he pulled on your arms, letting you swing with him as he followed through, tapping the ball. you watched as it went perfectly into the hole. you laughed softly, looking back at him.
“thanks,” you were close enough to see his eyes through his sunglasses. he smiled back at you, taking a step away as he cleared his throat.
“‘s what i’m here for,” he said, watching you walk over to grab the colored golf balls, yours pink and his green, obviously.
you grabbed the score sheet from the pocket of your shorts, unaware of his eyes on you. the way you looked in the setting sun, the way your hair blew in the soft shore wind. everything about you was perfect to him.
but how was he supposed to tell you that? you were his best friend, he wasn’t supposed to think about you like this.
you looked up with a smile on your face and he felt his heart melt right there on the mini golf course, “well, shocker, you won.”
he smiled, “the champion remains undefeated!”
you rolled your eyes, the both of you making your way off the course and to the booth to hand in the balls and clubs, “yeah, yeah, whatever,”
he laughed, “ice cream on me?”
“well if you’re buying, then definitely.” the two of you letting out a soft laugh as you made your way back onto the boardwalk and to the ice cream shop. he held the door open for you and you thanked him, the two of you making your way to the counter.
you placed your orders, making small conversation until a younger brunette walked up to him, “are you lando norris?”
he smiled, “yeah,”
“oh my god!” she turned to her friend, “i told you!”
he laughed softly before she turned back to him, “can i get a picture with you?”
he nodded, “sure.”
you watched as the girl gave her phone to her friend, lando and the girl smiling for the photo before she thanked him and walked out of the store with her friend happily.
“does that ever get old?” you asked him as he turned back to you.
he shrugged, “i mean, the fans are what makes everything worth it, the good races, the bad ones,” you nodded as he continued, “i mean, there are days where i’m just not in the mood, but if one picture can make someone’s day, then so be it.”
you smiled, “i get it,”
the person behind the counter called your order and he handed you your ice cream before the both of you walked out the door. you followed him to bench facing the beach and the water, the both of you sitting down as the sun was setting against the waves.
“so,” he said, “flo told me you were in uni, how’s that going?”
you tilted your head to the side, taking the spoon from your mouth, “it’s going, i guess? i don’t know, it’s not great but it’s not good either. i kinda just feel like someone existing in my classes.”
he chuckled, “like you’re a zombie in lectures?”
you laughed softly, “a little bit, actually, yeah,” you smiled, “especially at my eight o’clocks.”
“what’re you studying?” he asked, looking over at you now. you couldn’t tell behind his sunglasses, but he was watching you with love filled eyes.
“music theory,” you smiled happily.
“oh, no way!” he said, “you got into that program?”
you nodded and he smiled, wiggling his shoulder against yours, “look at you!”
you laughed, “stop,”
“oh c’mon!” he laughed, “you’ve talked about this program since we were kids and you made it! that’s gotta be a little bit of an ego boost, yeah?”
you bit down on your lower lip, trying to fight back the smile, “i mean i guess so-“
“see!”
“okay, but i could say the same with you!” you said, “you were always talking about racing with mclaren and now you’re actually doing it, you’ve gotta be the tiniest bit proud of yourself.”
he nodded, “i am, i guess.”
“you should be.”
he looked over at you, “but it’s different when i’m here, y’know. because i can just be lando here. not lando norris, formula one driver for mclaren, not the overly cocky, sassy guy twitter paints me out to be. i can just, i don’t know-“
“exist?” you asked.
he nodded, looking over at you, “yeah,” he said, “and beat you at mini golf.”
you rolled your eyes and sent him a look as he let out a boyish giggle, immediately apologizing, “okay, okay, sorry!”
you sprung out of your seat, “okay, but i bet i could beat you down to the ocean.”
he raised an eyebrow, “oh, yeah?”
you nodded, sending him a challenging look before you threw your trash into the trash can next to you, “yeah.”
he stood up, throwing his trash out and smirking over at you, “how much do you wanna bet?”
“loser buys dinner?” you said.
“deal,” he said and the both of you took off down the steps to the sand. you slipped your sandals off and laughed as he chased after you, the both of you running past the sunburnt people coming off the beach. you threw your shoes down on the sand, squealing when his hands found your waist, lifting you off your feet when he reached you. you laughed, flailing your legs as an attempt to get him to put you down.
“lando! put me down!” you laughed.
his laugh echoed yours as he complied, putting you down on the wet sand where the waves previously crashed. you spun around to face him, reaching to grab his sunglasses. you grabbed them from his face gently, finally revealing his watercolored eyes. he watched you intently as you smiled, your heart beating so hard it felt like it was going to break through your ribs.
he reached out to you, pulling you closer, “i’m sorry i didn’t come last summer.”
you shook your head, “you’re here now.”
he brushed a piece of hair from your face, “i’m still sorry.”
“it’s okay,” you smiled at him.
you placed his sunglasses in his curls as he watched you, “so, where do you want to go for dinner?”
“ginos?”
“sounds good,” he grinned back at you.
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