#im not a dentist obviously but i do not a lot about what things are and whats good and bad bc my mom has been an assistant most of my life

[dragpinkman]

everytime i see skincare morning routine whatever videos on pinterest im like damn you guys are ruining your enamel

[goldnrry]

Fic idea I probably will never write but would love to read under the cut

(Sorry this is not a girl’s girls supporting girls concept because i like drama)

You are a fan, normal girl with a boring 9 to 5 job you hate and have an one night stand with harry by some miracle (you lifetime dream) (this is absolutely self inserted and im half embarrassed)

Maybe you meet at a bar or something or you occasionally do pilates together or you even work at his dentist office

so maybe it’s a reoccurring thing or just a one night thing

After a while you find you you are pregnant and try to talk to him but it’s hard to reach him and when you finally say fuck it and goes to his house to tell him he is already dating someone or is back with his ex he was on a break with when he got you pregnant but you tell him, very shyly now because you feel like you are ruining something and the girl is not welcoming

Alternative: he sees your dms asking to meet up and he very politely declines telling you he is with someone and you are like oh ok loosing the bravery you had to tell him, but one night you say fuck it and text “im pregnant” turns off your phone in a panic and opens you phone hours later to your inbox flooded with him

Anyways you run some tests, baby is really his and you start talking more now that you are planning on coparenting

And you actually get along really well because you share the same comedy braincells

And you try to not let it show how much you like him because he has a gf and you dont want him to be with you only because you are pregnant with his baby, but like… you have a crush obviously

But he is so gentle and protective of you, there where a few occasions where he left his gf in the middle of something to pic you up or your are no feeling well and it starts taking a tool on his relationship

Scene ideas:

first of all when finally comes to his senses he likes you and break things off with his gf he casually calls you at night asking what your craving of the day is so he can bring it to you, then he tells you he broke things of and you are like “oh are you ok what happened” he looks at you for a while before replying he realised he’d rather spend his time with you two while touching your bump

Maybe you get invited to his birthday or something with all his friends and girlfriend that is near a body of water so you have a bikini on), harry is always touching you small bump and at sone point he gives in to a intrusive tough and start pressing kisses to your belly, you stay wide eyed and frozen because thats waaaay to intimate, his girlfriend is shooting darts with her eyes and the whole party is 🫣 looking between you twi and the girlfriend but he is oblivious and maybe you gently try to call him out like “harry maybe that was too much for our situation”

Maybe he is avoiding drinking and any other drugs in support of you and his gf gets annoyed “she’s not even here with us you can have a fucking glass”

Emotional moments on doctor’s appointments and buying baby stuff

Harry telling you he will stay with you, you just have to say so to him and he will, and you are crying saying of course you want you have the biggest feelings and admiration for him and now that you got to know him you love him but you are terrified of him just being excited about the pregnancy and he will get bored of you and leave you for somebe else he develops an administration for

Idk lots of yearning and angst and tension but with an happy ending

He keeps denying for a while and staying in his relationship, but there are also moments where he blurts out things like “fuck I really want to kiss you” when he is dropping you off with his car one night and you are like obviously i do too so much, but you have a girlfriend, are you really into me or are you turned on just because i pregnant with your baby and the moment you get bored you will trade me for someone else?

And a looooooooooot of him being an aquarius man with commitment issues

And he just fucking loves watching how much you are loving being pregnant 🥹 you always have a hand on your bump making this face🥹 and you even blurt out sometimes thinks like “i look so cuuuuuute” but it breaks his heart when overheard you venting out to a friend about how much you love being pregnant but you are so sad you dont get to do this with your forever person

HE CALLS YOU MAMA IN THE CUTES MOST ENDEARED VOICE

Idk if i want the baby to be born on his birthday or for you two to be together yet buttttt he wants the baby next to him when he blow his bday candles so is either the baby in his arms or you standing next to him

[nerves-nebula]

2012 has so much room for character analysis. And analysis in general.

I watched it when It was coming out on tv and have been rewatching it for the past couple months very slowwwllllyyyy. Shshsbbdd

Anyway I'm just getting nna ramble my analysis in your direction.

Starting with Mikey! Par tof the reason people sorta cling to Mikey I think is cuz like, splinter sorta ignores him.

It's this sorta odd thing going on where we have scenes like splinter telling Donnie to act more like Mikey cuz he's thinking to much and it's impeding his abilities cuz he's overthinking. Which, is an attempt to address Donnie's anxiety albeit in not the best way but it sorta worked?

Which means splinter is acknowledging mikeys fighting prowess. And that Mikey not thinking to hard and just doing is a good skill to be able to execute.

But ALSO, we get a scene of when the boys first got their weapons, and splinter tells everyone why they're getting what weapon, and why they'll enjoy it. Except Mikey. Mikey just gets nunchucks. Which, is dead ass the hardest weapon to wield there so what the fuck dude?

And Mikey is, so fuckin smart. His brain just in Canon goes too fast for him to remember words and shit. He's so adhd frfr

But Leo is dead ass the golden child. Like, everyone asked to be leader, cuz they are teen boys, but splints chose Leo cuz "he asked for it" and then instills all his ideals in him! He's treated like he's the best at everything and is expected to be the best at everything AND to care for his brothers. And he can only feels like he doesn't really have a life. Which leads into the whole Leo develops a crush on his half sister while not knowing she's his half sister nonsense.

Donnie is just, he's the smart one. He's stressed all the time, but also a. Fucking simp who is never reprimanded by his dad for how he treats april, which he really should be! Having mindmap of every possible way an interaction could go with her is creepy! And literally stalking her!!!! Donnie's also the one who deals with Timothy and he gets in trouble for it with splints despite not even wanting to be dealing with it himself. It's a mess.

Raph has just, obvious anger issues. And splinter does not address them in a healthy way frequently. It's a lot of, "just breathe" and Raph is just: "I want to punch someone or something yesterday."

OH and splint sets his brothers shoot him with plungers while yelling at him and roah like, has a whole ass panic attack. That manifests aggressively cuz raphs anger oh so obviously comes from anxiety. But splinter like never picks up on that.

2012 splints treats the boys like students more then sons ALOT. But also cares about them enough to do shit like, break brain control cuz he didn't wanna kill them ✌️

I could probably word that better but I'm still a little high on laughing gas rn cuz I just had a dentist appointment.

yall be out here writing fandom dissertations & shit after going to the DENTIST yknow what I do after going to the dentist??? lay around in mild agony cause my sensitive ass teeth hurt...

anyway these are fun times.

i still cant get over the fact that i made my neglected turtles stay underground and never go out as a way to reflect my weird family isolation as a kid and then i watched the first ep of 2012 and it was like "yea they're fifteen and they've never left the sewers. they only know each other" and im LIKE!! WHAT!! THEY'VE LITERALLY ALMOST FINISHED PUBERTY AND THEY NEVER LEFT THEIR HOME???? THEY ONLY KNOW EACH OTHER????

i dont think the writers understand how fucked up that makes you and your relationships to people and its just like a part of the turtles story i guess???

LIKE THINKING ABOUT IT, I GET IT, and im sure thats how it is in a lot of tmnt iterations, but thats crazy. these boys would be so fucked up irl.

sorry for the ramble i just aint got much to say about ur analysis, cant say if i agree or not cause i aint even watched much 2012 lol.

[chronicallyillphoenix]

Been busy nonstop since i woke up (7:30am) and i am so fucking tired and irritable. I still have up to 1.5 hours of class left (i am hoping that we end early)

The most relaxing point of today was probably honestly that ABI test at my cardios at like 9:30am. I just got to lay there and listen to my bloodflow inside my vessels and get my bp taken and that was pretty cool to hear. The drive there took a whole hour tho (the way back had no traffic and was a little under 30 minutes to give an idea on traffic)

I had to rush to do an entire assignment during the little downtime i had between the ABI test and my psych appointment, which was probably the most stressful part of the day. It sucked. It is 100% my fault for not doing it during all of spring break and i know this, i just forgot and only focused on my other classes assignment. I am probably not going to get the best grade on this assignmnt tbh because i am not even sure if the answers to the questions were comprehensible

Psych appointment overall sucked but also its whats expected atp. Im so tired of people who know nothing about dealing with chronic pain telling me what i should do to make it better and that if im not doing xyz thing they think would help then obviously im not trying. Like maam there is a reason that i dont wear a brace during work and doing so would in fact make the pain worse and to the point that i wouldnt even be able to do my actual shift and i already am doing my pt stretches before and afterwards jesus christ. Also idk how many times i have to tell her that there a certain things that have to be done a certain way and that changing the way theyre done would make things worse overall yet i dont think she understands this. I luckily did get her to approve more emergency anxiety meds which should be helpful because it has been getting worse in general (due to stuff in therapy and also just some big life changes) and i have been avoiding taking a klonopin when needed due to only having one left. So at least theres that

I also had to go to the dentist today but i was not expected to get a whole ass root canal done today i thought i was just there for the evaluation. Which like yay it got done but also christ it cost so much and they didnt accept payment plans so i feel terrible because my mom said to go ahead and pay it and shell pay the credit card bill off in installments (or something like that i dont know how credit cards work) because she couldnt afford the full price atm. And i also have a colonoscopy thursday that also costs a lot (luckily that one we can do payment plans tho)

I am just. So tired. I just want class to be over with i dont want to think anymore i just want to go hangout with my friend and have my last meal before starting gi prep tomorrow for the colonoscopy. That is the only thing getting me through this class right now

[meismalis]

I’m getting major dental surgery and I’m scared as fuck, haha. I had a bad experience at the dentist last time where I had to get my right bottom wisdom tooth out and the molar next to it because it had grown in sideways and cracked the molar and instead of fixing the molar, I decided to just take it out with the wisdom and that molar barely fit in my mouth anyways as I have a small mouth, haha. So when I got that procedure done, I was scared one bit or anxious, I’ve had dental work before, cavities filled, a root canal on my left molar and my two front teeth, like 3/4 of them are fake 😂 (when I was like 10, I lifted up a patio chair expecting it to be heavy but it wasn’t and it smashed straight into my face and teeth and broke my two front teeth right off, so they like made the bottom like 3/4 of my front teeth and glued/Moulded them on to what was left)

So I had work done before, had plenty of local anesthesia needles…. Well. This time, the dentist gave me the needle and we waited a bit and he did the thing to test if I was numb, pushed on my gum in the area and like tapped on the top of the tooth, and my lips were numb, so we obviously thought we were good to go. So he took the scalpel type thing and pushed it down into the side of the tooth and under so he could like pop it up and out (they don’t actually use pliers 😂) and the MINUTE he did that, I felt the most intense searing pain I have EVER felt, my whole face and neck and like inner Jaw nerves and bones were on fire, deeeeeepp down pain. It was crazy and I my body started to shake. I reactively screamed bloody fucking murder and he stopped and was like what the fuck and I was like “I FUCKING FELT THAT OMG I FELT EVERYTHING” and he gave me another shot, then tried again slowly and I felt it, another shot, felt it, another shot, still felt it. So at this point, he gave me all of the anesthesia shots he could and he said “well, you’re gonna have to go to the other location in town tomorrow and try the nitrous oxide (laughing gas) because we don’t have any at this location.” It was the end of the business day and they were closing and so was the other Mount Pearl location and the thought of going home with the half popped out tooth in my mouth still and having to wait until tomorrow and come back and go through it all again, I was just like “no. Just do it. As quick as you can” and I bunkered down, held onto the chair with a fucking DEATH GRIP and prepared. He continued and got it out, with me nearly breaking the arms off of the chair and my legs kicking the bottom of the chair. It was FUCKED. and like, the wisdom tooth that came out of my head was HUUUUUUGE, even he was like “that is one of the biggest wisdom teeth I’ve ever seen, it’s up there.” and I was like 👍 yeah. great, doc, can I leave? I got up almost immediately because I just wanted to leave and I started to see black and fell back a bit and then regained my composure, almost fainting. I was white as a fucking ghost and shaking and I have a fairly high pain tolerance, at least in my opinion, and people have told me this before and so have a lot of medical professionals.

When I got home, my fiancé saw me and was like, “holy FUCK, you look like you’ve seen a ghost, are you okay?!? No seriously babe, you look deathly ill right now, are you okay?”

So, it’s safe to say, ever since then, I have been TERRIFIED OF THE DENTIST.

Anyways, fast forward a couple years and I started having really bad stomach issues, my anxiety and panic attacks got really bad during that time period which cause a lot of nausea, heartburn, acid reflux issues, and I got a stress ulcer. So, I started to throw up everything day, like 5 times, upwards to 10 times a day, and most of the time I was just throwing up pure stomach acid, and this went on for about 6 months. Approx 3 months in, I noticed I had a good few cavities and my teeth were really sensitive and felt really weak, I kind of ignored it for like 2 weeks cause IM TERRIFIED OF THE DENTIST NOW, and just started to brush my teeth even more than I already was, and approx 3 weeks later, the cavities got a lot bigger in just 3 weeks and I noticed some decay was starting with the cavities, so I made a dentist appt and he loooked and said that yeah, decay was starting to set in but also, all the enamel on my teeth was stripped away and they were very weak, he said I already had very weak teeth genetically (I get cavities easily, can break teeth easily, etc cause I was born was weak teeth and it’s genetic) but he said this happened quicker and accelerated because I WAS BRUSHING THE STOMACH ACID INTO MY TEETH APPARENTLY WHICH LIKE NEVER OCCURRED TO ME???? YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH RIGHT AWAY AFTER THROWING UP. He said, you’re supposed to rinse with warm water with salt and then wait like an hour and then brush your teeth normally, but I was brushing right after I threw up, every time, which remember, was like 5-10 times a day, just PUREEEE stomach acid.

So anyways, I got all the cavities filled and this was approx a year and a half ago, about a year ago, I noticed more cavities, got those filled and then about 2 months ago, I noticed my teeth were getting more sensitive again and then the cavities I got filled, they were expanding and I was getting more cavities AGAIN andI went to the dentist and he said yeah, your teeth are just really weak and that time you basically stripped all the enamel off and the stomach acid, you’re gonna have to deal with a lot of issues and cavities every year, you’ll probably need a few root canals and as you get older, it’s just gonna get worse because again, genetically weak teeth. & like, Ive always took care of my teeth and brushed them every morning when I get up and every night before bed and sometimes during the day, I floss, everything. I just have genetically very weak problem teeth and then the stomach acid thing realllly messed them up. So yeah, He noticed as well that my back back molars, the gum line was pulling away and he did an X-ray and my back molars THEY WERE DECAYING FROM THE INSIDE OUT, so basically on the inside, it’s just all soft, and there’s just an outer shell, which he said, eventually they would just break.

ANYWAYS. He said that I’m always gonna have issues, and we can go ahead and fill the cavities again and that we can do root canals on the back molars or we can just pull em and replace em, but he recommended the latter as root canals are expensive and I’ll have to get more again to maintain it like every 8ish years. He then said that actually, what he thinks is beneficial for me, because im always gonna have issues now no matter what, is to just extract all of my top teeth (those are the problem ones) and then my bottom molar teeth, and we would keep my bottom teeth besides the molars as they’re fine and the enamel wasn’t badly eroded on those and no cavities or issues, we’d just straighten em up a bit to match the new top teeth.

So yeah, extract all of my top teeth and then get implants. Well, it’s an implanted denture essentially. It’s not a removable denture and it doesn’t have the like roof of the mouth piece, it’s literally just the “strip” of teeth and what they do is they extract all of the top teeth and then when you’re healed, you get like 4 holes drilled into your gum, up into your bone and then they screw screws into the holes and then implanted denture, it screw holes, and it just screws into place and it’s permanent, they’re super strong, you can eat everything, you can talk normally with no issue , etc. they’re like veneers! & THEY LOOK SOOOOOOO GOOD. Apparently a lot of celebrities have that done too, lol, they have like like glued on veneers for a while but to do those, the teeth need to shaved down and like eventually, they end up getting the teeth removed and an implanted denture, and they have such beautiful, striking smiles and no one knows, haha.

My dentist made me feel better too saying like, you’d be surprised how many women your age actually do have implanted dentures as well, as it’s a common thing (well not COMMON but less rare than you think) that women have like calcium issues and issues with their teeth and then during pregnancy, there’s this disease that happens where the moms teeth just get so weak and so bad and decay and just get destroyed during pregnancy and they end up having to get dentures. So I feel better about that.

I could just get removable top dentures as well but I didn’t wanna do that and the dentist Recommended I didn’t either because of bone loss. When you extract a bunch of teeth, you get bone loss bc your jaw bone has nothing to hold on to anymore and nothing to “work for” and then they start to shrink, bc they aren’t being used. Like in older people you’ll see what’s called “denture face” sometimes, and obv I don’t want that, and because I’m young, bone loss will set in by the time I’m like 34 bc it takes like 7 years for it to full come in.

SO YEAH, that’s what I’m doing. I’m Excited to not have to deal with all the issues and dental work all the time, AND I’ll have an AMAZINNNGGG smile and AMAZINGGG teeth, but anyways, I am fucking terrified because of my last experience 😳 even though they said, we’re gonna make sure you’re numb, you’ll have the anesthesia shots and we’ll have laughing bad for you but I’m still scared :( like I was reading articles on anaesthesia and dental anesthetic, and how it just doesn’t work on some people and how it actually is a thing and like I don’t know if that was just one off thing or if I’m gonna experience that again and I am terrified, but you know I it needs to be done and once it is, I’ll feel so much better and again I’ll have a beautiful smile so….

OH ALSO LOL 😂 😂 another reason I went with a fully implanted denture instead of just a removable top denture is because I thought about giving head and blow jobs and was like, well that top mouth piece, that would probably like move around or like my denture would come loose or fall out when giving head no?!? & I actually asked the dentist LMAOOO and he was like, they’re usually pretty secure once in there and with bond but yeah it’s a possibility 😂

AND MY FIANCÉ LMAOOOO HE WAS LIKE “Omg no don’t get implants, you could give me a gummer, apparently they feel amazing “ 😳 😳 😳 😂 😂 😂 I was like LMAO WHATTT & he goes “you’d have to pop it back in immediately after though 😂

and that’s another thing, I don’t wanna like take it out to sleep or whatever and have my fiancé see me without top fucking teeth LMAO

Anyways yeah

[uglypastels]

eddie getting his wisdom teeth pulled !! you know what im talking about !!!

double combo deal with a request for a reader who is scared of the dentist so Eddie goes with her :)) hope you enjoy it. i am kind of about to pass out since its 2 am so this might not be perfect haha, but if anything that might just add to post-op Eddie

warnings: swearing, friendly teasing, pillow fight/playful hitting, in casual conversation the mention of sexual content [masturbation, oral] and innuendos. dentistry, the mention of getting teeth pulled out [obviously]. mention of deep anaesthetic.

masterlist // join taglist // inbox

It was no secret that Eddie Munson had a very… daredevil spirit. He also had a lot of curiosity that needed to be filled up, which ended up with him trying many things people would never even have considered in their wildest dreams. It was a miracle that he had not ended up in the hospital. 

Another thing about Eddie you should, and do, know. He likes to have a good time. And what an excellent time to be had if it's enhanced with a little extra. His go-to was weed, special K if he felt very adventurous (and bored), and he had dabbled in some other things. But there was one thing he still had not done. 

'You are insane,' was your immediate response to his newest suggestion. 'Like, actually, clinically insane.' 

'Oh c'mon, I think it's gonna be a great time, and you're going in already, so why not hit two stones with one bird.' 

'Two birds with one stone.' 

'Where has your imagination gone, y/n,' he sighed, leaning back on the sofa. You just stared at him, dumbfounded. 'Anyway, I already made the appointment, so, go cry about it.' 

'The fuck you didn't– Eddie!' you threw, no, actually, you just hit him with the pillow repeatedly. 'Why are you such a moron.'

'I'm doing you a favour here, missy.' he pointed at you, the joint hanging casually between his fingers. 'When you're up there, worrying about me getting high off my ass, you'll be too busy freaking out when he's drilling into you, so, hard.' He made some suggestive movements and emphasised groans to pull in the joke even better, which resulted in another hit with the fluffy pillow from you. 

'You're a moron, Eddie Munson.' you said every word between a hit until he stopped you by bringing his hand forward and catching the pillow mid-movement. 

'And you,' he blew the smoke out over your face, 'need to come up with some better insults.' His mind was set in stone; there was no going back. His idiotic plan was set into motion, 

And what was this plan?

  Well, you saw it all happen the following Thursday, when both of you skipped class, legally for once, and were sitting in the waiting room of the dentist's office. Your leg bounced around as Eddie looked through a magazine– a cosmo, unfortunately for you, reading some of the articles aloud for everyone else in the room to hear. 

'Tip number six, 6. "Don't let stressing about an orgasm ruin the fun:

''Masturbate clitorally to orgasm before having intercourse. If it is possible, let your lover masturbate you—" hey, I wasn't done with that!' He said as you ripped the pages out of his hands. 

'No, I think you were actually, Jesus, Munchie.' you put the magazine back in the rack of others, letting the pretty blue eyes of the lady on the cover staring right back at you. Eddie was giggling when you sat back down. 'Do you have no self-respect?' You hissed out now, feeling the need to compensate with silence for Eddie's boisterousness. 

'I'm not the one who put those things on display at the fucking dentist,' he leaned over and whispered back, but still quite loudly. 'Also, I'm hungry.' 

'Too bad.' You had told him to eat before, but no, his stubborn little ass just had to go against everything you suggested. And the smoke he joined right before getting to the dentist's office was probably not helping his appetite. God, this was such a bad idea. 

Not that you had anything to do with it. You were just an innocent bystander, trying to get their filling fixed. Meanwhile, the degenerate besides you had already gotten stoned out of his mind as he pregamed for what was to come. You didn't know if your nerves were coming from your own appointment or what Eddie was getting into. 

You had pulled two other magazines out of Eddie's grip before a door opened and a man in a white coat walked up, looking at his clipboard. 'Munson?' He looked up, finding Eddie raising his hand. No, but you were supposed to be getting your procedure done first. This wasn't right. 

'I'm sorry, but he had had an appointment at 4, while mine is at…' you checked the clock that read quarter to 4, 'well, now.' 

'Don't worry, Dr Fields will be with you shortly. You'll be in room 3, most likely,' the doctor said, leading Eddie to the door where a number 4 was written. Close enough. But you still wanted to protest. That was why you had come together, so he could support you while you then could watch over him as he burned up some more of his brain cells with this ludicrous experiment. 

Eddie turned around just before walking into the room, giving you a thumbs up. You smiled weakly and waited another few minutes for your dentist, Dr Fields, to show up with his little clipboard. Then, it was time to face your fears. 

The procedure went smoothly, thankfully. You lay down in the chair as they blinded you with the bright light for about ten minutes. You tried to breathe steadily through your nose, ignoring the taste of the gloves in your mouth. Instead, you concentrated on Eddie, who was in the room next to yours, getting his damn wisdom teeth pulled out. You could still not believe he was doing it, and for what? Just to feel how it is to be high on the anaesthesia. 

No, not entirely true. He had been recommended to get the procedure done, but it wasn't necessary… but it was enough for Eddie to take the opportunity and go for it. How often would this opportunity present itself before him again? 

Your mouth felt numb and sore at the same time as you thanked your dentist and got out of the room, kind of hoping Eddie would be waiting outside for you, but he was still in the procedure room. You could hear the machines whirring from inside. So, even though you had been done already and wanted nothing more but to leave the place, you stayed behind in the waiting room, counting down the minutes until that other doctor would come out and tell you to pick your Eddie up and get home. 

But time wouldn't move, or so it seemed, so you picked up a magazine– the same Cosmpolitan Eddie had been reading you– and flipped through the pages, ignoring the all-knowing glint the receptionist was giving you. That is not what you had been looking for. Instead, you wanted to see the personality quiz at the back.  

After figuring out that "yes, you do have to dump him", you put it away on the seat next to you and stared at the door. The feeling in your cheek was coming back. Not much later, and you could probably smile again correctly. 

And then you heard the machines stop making their awful sounds, and the doctor walked back out, almost surprised to see you as if he expected Eddie to step out of there alone. 

'Is he ok?' you got up, already prepared to walk in. 

'Yes, yes, of course. He might  still be a bit loopy, so don't be too rough on him for the next few hours.' 

'Right.' You could feel your mouth tug irregularly on one side as it was still out cold. But you walked past the dentist and into the room where Eddie was sitting. 

'Hey,' you said softly so as not to startle him, but this was Eddie you were talking about; of course, he would be the one to scare you with his loud call of your name. It made you wince, even. It was unexpected for him to see him have so much energy after that. 

'y/n, c'mere.' He waved his hand to you until you were close enough that his knee touched yours. He took your hand in his, swaying it broadly from one side to the other; his heavy lids covered his eyes that followed as your hands moved. 'How do I look?' He asked, looking back at you. There was no thought behind his eyes, which were big and hazy, out of focus. His smile was a bit misformed by what had been performed on his mouth, cotton pads filling up his cheeks, which distorted some of his speech.

'Puffy...' you suggested the word, not sure how else to describe him. But for some reason, well, a clear one, Eddie found it hilarious and started giggling, then laughing, harder and louder, until he had to stop because it hurt his mouth. 

'You think you're good to go home?' you asked him once his pain had subsided. 

'Mhm,' and to prove himself, Eddie got up from the chair. He wobbled around a bit, reaching out for your shoulder to hold on to, but he was stable. 'You know,' he giggled again, as if the pain had already been forgotten (which it most likely was), 'that guy drilled me so hard.' 

'Did he now?' you asked, giving him your best trying-to-sound-impressed voice and face while really you were just trying to figure out how you would get this half-conscious man into your car. 

'He drilled me good, y/n. So good.' Of course, he had said it in the middle of the waiting area you were passing through, making the people that had now taken your waiting seats stare at him (and, therefore, you in association) in horror. You tried to give them your most apologetic smile while escorting Eddie out of the building. 

'Please tell me you are at least feeling good,' you groaned as he pushed all his weight onto you. 

'Oh, yeah, I feel fantastic,' he slurred, and you could tell he wasn't lying. Mostly because his mind was so far gone by the anaesthesia that he probably didn't have the brain capacity to form lies, but also because he did seem to look good—all wild and free and happy like he usually did on a high. 

'Well, that's good to hear then,' you managed to get your carkeys and opened the door for Eddie, who slipped right into the passenger seat. He played with the belt buckle, getting it stuck around him a few times, but you helped with that too. 

'You're pretty,' Eddie said, to which you replied with a "you're welcome", as you had expected him to say something around the realm of a thank you.

'Sorry, I mean, thanks,' so you quickly recovered, going to the other side of the car to get in yourself and behind the wheel. 

'You're welcome,' he said. 'Sorry, I mean, thanks.' ah, so he was just repeating you; that wouldn't get old any time soon. Surely not by the time you reached the traffic lights at the corner of the building, about a minute later. 

'Eddie,' you'd say. 

'Eddie' would be his response to this. Until he didn't and started to repeat your name. 'y/n, y/n, y/nnn,' he slurred his words again, not clear whether it was because of his fatigue or the wooziness that came with the sedation. 

'What is it, Munchie?' you asked him, taking a turn. 

'This feels really good.' he said, head against the headrest, turned to face you as you drove. 

'Yeah?' it felt like you were about to have a repeat of the previous conversation in the dentist's office and that Eddie was about to start talking about getting drilled by that dentist, but no. 

'I'm really happy that you're here.' he said, shocking your system. As another traffic light turned red, you looked over at him. His eyes had gained some focus again and were looking straight at you. 

'Oh, of course, I'm here.' the lights turned green, and you drove on. 

'Good. Don't ever leave me, ok?' he started playing with his hair, mindlessly chewing it, which you could not imagine did not hurt him. 

'I'm not going anywhere, Munchie,' you promised him. 

'You better don't. What would I do without you?' 

'Maybe not get high on general anaesthesia?' 

thank you for reading

@spiderrrling @theglitterymess @dorianelizabeth @theletterhart @niyahwhoreworld @chatnoirfangirl1624 @fopdoodle1624 @pastel-abyss-x @ghoulsgraveyard @prettytoxix @lovesickollie @xbreezymeadowsmunsonx @ssanjuniperoo @nxrdamp @meaganjm @yourmommilf @mischiefmanagers @roseyykris @capybergara @brother-lauren @h0sh1verse @ghostlyreads @croweaterr @ladyapplejackdnd @bilesxbilinskixlahey @kbakery @sleeping-willlow @lizzylynch1 @liltimmyst @hellfire-state-of-mind @escape-in-time-x @miscelaa @sweetpeapod @the-a-word-2214 @eddiemunsonbby @wh0re4munson @eddiesdingus @zoeyquinn94 @munsonmunchies @overthewhiteclouds @wroteclassicaly @groupies-do-it-better @stitchity @celestialsxturn @hoe4eddiemunson @inanausomewhere @witchyrivers @scoops-harrington @fluffyharrington

[snacc-noir]

Unseal and Reveal pt2

Ao3

Part 1

Adapted from this post

Summary:

Adrien asks Marinette to fake date him after his father finds a pink ‘love note’ containing just her name on it

— but it was really the emergency note Ladybug gave him in case he needed to know her identity

Adrien has screwed up. 

But before anything begins, he’d like to make it very clear that he’s only ever had good intentions, believable smiles, and incredible lying ability – no matter what his friends say (“You once told Alya you had a great dentist so Marinette wouldn’t be suspicious”), because he’s kept the fact he’s Chat Noir under wraps and no one has been the wiser. 

Then again, Chat Noir is stylish, handsome, incredibly dressed, insanely hilarious, im(pecc)ably ripped, totally— 

Yeah, so Adrien just can’t live up to that (If it came down to it, he’d totally fall in love with himself if circumstances allowed.), and thus his identity is pretty secure , unlike his self-esteem on a good day. 

Specifically, today. 

Because he has screwed up.  

So yes, he’s somehow the best and worst liar ever, which probably likens to how it isn’t his secret identity that he Accidentally (three underlines for ‘accidentally’) reveals, but, uh, someone else’s. 

Ladybug’s. 

He knows Ladybug’s identity.  

But hey! Hey— remember, her idea. It was never him who suggested the ‘let’s write our names on letters in case we need to know in an emergency’, as that was definitely her. 

He’s screwed everything up, but it was definitely her. 

“Did you know? ” 

“Duh,” his kwami’s gravel voice says, “I know everything.” 

Adrien’s hands are rousing his hair so much at this point he might expose himself as Chat Noir if anyone went by his lean windows. “You knew this whole time!? That Ladybug is– That she’s– That—”  

All air escapes him in a corrupt elongated syllable. He flops on his Extra King size bed with silk sheets and fluffed pillows, almost knocking his model agency’s branded hydro-flask onto the desk adjacent with three exorbitant monitor screens. Oh, how difficult his life is.  

“You’re so pathetic.” 

He is.  

“This is hilarious.” 

It is not.  

‘“What am I supposed to do, Plagg?! Call her? ‘Hey love of my life, it’s me Adrien, but you also know me as Chat Noir. I accidentally found out your identity and long story short, my household thinks we’re dating and wants you over for dinner. Are you up for fake-dating and not killing me, please?” 

His kwami skulls a camembert roll. “I’m down for that idea.” 

Adrien pegs a sock. 

“How are you so calm?” 

“I shrugged in the face of dinosaur extinction. Your damsel in distress crisis – you’re the damsel, by the way – and ‘oohhh no, I’m so in love’ hullabaloo is nothing.” 

Adrien’s frown deepens. “I don’t sound like that.” 

“You do. Your voice goes like eee .” 

“What? No it doesn’t” 

“You’re right, it’s more like ahhh . ” 

The heat in Adrien’s acid eyes smarten. He crosses his arms, huffing in a way he hasn’t since early childhood, and glares at his ceiling. “I’m done talking to you.” 

He isn’t, of course, as there’s only one person in his life he can complain to about his array of #RelatableTeenBoy issues, like ditching your favourite topic of Physics one class to cater to a Giant Baby akuma (again) and being late due to lack of places to change into your skin-tight cat suit (you know; just those little things). And by Hawk Moth’s insufferable menacing he isn’t letting that outlet fall from under him. He needs to clear his thoughts, because believe him, there is a lot to sift, and it doesn’t help when part of this whole catastrophe has left him with the knowledge that— 

“Marinette is Ladybug!” 

Plagg has moved to Adrien’s three-panelled computer desk and is clicking through something. “I’m so glad you’ve caught up.” 

“And if she’s Ladybug, that means,” he goes on, white overshirt sleeves now uneven as he animates his words with a pillow, “she was just saying to me – to Chat – she was in love with him to save her identity! And there’s another boy she’s in love with! And–! And I might know who it is!” 

“Who?” Plagg asks, the volume juxtaposing his welder’s. 

“I said 'might’.” 

The keys click louder. “You mean because you know Ladybug in real life you could have met him before? Or you actually know him?” 

“I don’t know! I just know that Marinette’s… She’s in love with another guy.” The earlier exhilaration drains and his chest feels hollow and soul-sucking. “Wait– I can’t ask her to be my fake-girlfriend!” 

The destructive god scrolls through the itemised shopping cart to double-check his fromage orders without any fear of his owner noticing. Well you obviously don’t have a choice. Your dad wants her over for dinner. Besides, it’s Ladybug, remember? She’ll do anything to help a friend out.” 

Ladybug. 

Marinette. 

Of course.  

There are still many things that don’t add up (Multimouse: just how?) but of course. 

He can’t risk his own identity and hers to his father. He must keep the façade up. And if that mean s falling on his knees in front of who unarguably should be the most glorified woman in the world, crying to her to please just be his fake – very much, but unfortunately fake – girlfriend.  

He will. 

He’ll do it right now. 

- 

“I can’t believe you chickened out.” 

Walks to school, even with the cost of waking up earlier, are always more refreshing than drives in cold silence. The freedom here is less pale, and he can hiss at Plagg all he wants with only the dignity loss of onlookers noticing him crankily talking to himself. 

“Oh wait, yes I can. Because you’re a coward~. ” 

“I did not ‘chicken out’,” Adrien snaps. “And I’m no coward. I just— I need to speak to her in person instead. This way, she didn’t have to receive an unwanted call so late.” 

 “You mean six?” 

He huffs. “Marinette needs all the sleep she can get.” He pokes the creature back into his overshirt. “She’s always so busy. Even you’ve seen her collapse in class. Wait—!” 

The only one that waits is himself, columned with the line of trees ahead, locked in the interval of his soap opera as his audience darts for a shiny rock near a fire hydrant. 

“Because she’s Ladybug too! Of course! Of course! This makes so much sense! She’s so tired and overworked! It’s no wonder she’s all over the place – in the best of ways, I mean, she’s literally adorable when she’s frantic. Wait, have I always thought that? Have I always seen Marinette as the cutest thing ever? Her spluttering is so endearing. And if she’s already so tired, I can’t make her fake date me, too! She’s already so stressed! I’d literally be the scum of the earth if I even dare—” 

Plagg is staring at him with flat interest. Humbly aware of his judgement, Adrien swallows, letting the air untense and clams his hands – eager to narrate his animated allegory – in his pockets in strife to get a grip.  

He sighs. 

“What if I mess it up, Plagg?” 

He inventories his new rock in Adrien’s satchel. A hymn of silence roots in the place of what should be a snide remark. But there is no fed-up comment, just a kwami wriggling under his overshirt out of sight and a solemn voice that issues from it,  

“Kid, you’re partners. You work together. You forgive each other. You trust each other. And if Ladybug trusts you,” he sticks his head out a little more, “find it in you to trust yourself. You won’t mess this up if you put her and her identity’s safety first, which I know you will, because you love her and you’re a great hero.” 

Adrenaline dampening, Adrien smiles.  

“Thanks, Plagg.” 

- 

Marinette has never believed in bad luck until she met Chat Noir (fifty Mr Pigeon akumatisations this year with a feather allergy? The next lucky charm is going to be an Epi-pen) and for a while, she didn’t believe in good luck, even with being Ladybug. 

But that was then. Back then, meaning like, ten minutes ago before she was invited to stay back after PE by Adrien. 

Right now, though? Right now, she’s decided she’s going to hand-sew a bedazzled shirt embossed with, “Goddess of Luck” to wear while Ladybug on patrol (and on the back, a quote she woke up to on Instagram this morning: ‘“can also kick ass” – Adrien Agreste’ (she took ten screenshots when he posted that)), because Marinette has good luck.   

“You’ll be doing me a huge favour,” the ass-kicking quoter says on an afternoon she has not planned to receive the most exciting request of her life. 

And you know what she says? 

You know what the stuttering girl who may as well trademark the word ‘GAH’ she falls that much, says? 

You’ll never guess. 

No really, you won’t. 

Because turns out, Marinette Dupain-Cheng is more than just accomplished. 

So what if she thrones the winning title of a Gabriel fashion comp? What even matters of being class president and an all-around likable person? Who takes notice of another fashion mogul inviting you to live in New York because of your talent? ––An invitation you had to decline because, you know, being Paris’ zero-pay superheroine has a sprinkle more of importance. And oh, did she mention she’s Ladybug? Because she’s Ladybug. A superhero.  

But none of that matters right now. 

“I’d be happy to help.” 

Because she’s said yes.  

She—Marinette McStutter Dupain-Cheng—has said yes with her mouth (not vague hand animations over blubbering nonsense) to Adrien, and although her muscles are locked with their key over the Eiffel tower (and the tiny detail that her thoughts are screaming so much she can’t hear a thing of his relief and numerous ‘thank you’s), she’s still said yes!  

Screw every other accomplishment. She’s said yes to being Adrien’s fake girlfriend. 

Ladybug? Nah, that’s Mrs. Fake Agreste to you.  

Good luck is real.  

Okay but sure, ‘Fake girlfriend’ doesn’t exactly live up to ‘Very real girlfriend’, but being a fake isn’t that bad! She’s seen Lila do it every day for months – oh, hang on, no actually the term ‘fake’ has very negative and huge implications, then. However, in Marinette’s heavenly-blessed case, ‘fake’ means she’s doing a very big favour for a friend and is going to get more time with Adrien – just to name a few positives.  

“Seriously Marinette, you have no idea how much this means to me. I can’t believe I’m so lucky to have a friend like you.” 

‘Oh honey, I’m the lucky one. ’ 

“It’s– It’s no problem! Yeah! Really, I’ll come to dinner, no problem! It can’t be too hard. I can be your girlfriend! Eugh– Pretend girlfriend. It’s not hard being in love with you! I mean– Ugh!” 

The monstrosity that is the never-shutting-up hole in her face is blocked off by frantic hands, stifling the last of her eloquent groan. But peering up, she realises she really has underestimated how much this means to Adrien, because he looks like he’s poised on a cliff of ecstasy ready to fall – eyes verdant, big, and lushed over with a hue of moisture that twinkles, and a smile so bright and toothy the sunlight hollowing out the remaining shade of the PE stadium glints off it.  

In fact, her mess of a speech is such a compliment to Adrien that her locked-limbed body is suddenly engulfed by his. Startled in delightful senses of the word, she squeaks, and he quickly pulls away, face a few rose tones darker than before as his hands twitch at his side unsurely. 

“Uhh, I guess we have to get planning.” 

She watches in transfixed attraction as Adrien picks both their schoolbags up, finally blurting (without any squeak, she may add), 

“Y–Yes. We do.” 

(she didn’t say any stutter, so shut up.) 

“Would your father let you come over right now since school’s almost finished?” 

He casts a look to the exit thoughtfully. His flawless side-profile in high resolution before her, she sees the corner of his mouth quirk up in an unsettling familiar way, as if his whole charisma shifts to someone else’s.  

They do need to plan; to run away together, where only they share this odd secret - a place alone together where they'll look each other eye-to-eye and practice their sonnets of love to construct a believable facade for his father-

“It’s more fun sneaking to my girlfriend’s house, isn’t it?” 

That time, she squeaks.

And comes to the daunting realisation:

Marinette is screwed. 

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

[swordspells]

Thank u to the wonderful @sashacore for tagging me in this! We don't do these things enough anymore on tumblr and frankly we should bring them back x

Honey and lemon or milk and sugar: if this is about tea then im afraid I have to inform u I detest the hot leaf juice because I have the palette of a 5 year old

Musicals or plays: plays. I respect all the musical fans out there deep down, but I worked with a lot of btec drama students during my A-levels and I would commit many a sin to never hear a group rendition of "do you hear the people sing" evrt again thank you very much

Lemonade or unsweetened iced tea: lemonade because I like how it is always a carbonated lemon flavoured drink :)

Strawberries or raspberries: I chug strawberry milk like some kind of morally upstanding vampire chugs on alley rats. So strawberry

Winter or summer: summer but only because it is currently winter. Ask me again in july and I will say winter. I am fickle and stupid

Beaches or forests: trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees trees 🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳🌲🌳💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Diners or cafés: went to a diner once in Florida. Cafés

Unicorns or dragons: dragons are beautiful little scaly men who I love So Dearly. Unicorns are weirdos who obsess over virginity and purity. Grow up. Dragons obviously

Gemstones or crystals: dunno exactly what the difference is but gemstones I think, they are pretty and good for throwing probably

Hummingbirds or owls: owls. Owls fuck

Fireworks or sparklers: sparklers make me feel like a fucked up and evil witch about to commit arson or maybe necromancy. Fireworks are pretty I guess but a sparkler holds power

Brunch or happy hour: I don't drink and desperately miss going to sit in the pub in a morning to meet friends for brunch :( so brunch

Sweet or sour: sweet because I have a crippling sugar addiction (dentists HATE her)

Rome or Amsterdam: never been to either but im an (aspiring) archaeologist and would sacrifice many a limb to be part of a dig in rome. Can you imagine??? Digging in the colosseum?? Uncovering a mosaic or some shit? Bucket list material

Classic or Modern art: not to be That Bitch but I just cannot appreciate modern art at all. Like im not gonna act like im above it or its not meaningful but like poetry I just dont have a brain that finds merit in more abstract stuff. Meanwhile I love classic art so much its so pretty and detailed. Know fuck all about it though so I am a mere normie looking at joan of arc and wishing she would marry me :(

Sushi or Ramen: ramen, did I mention I have the palette of a baby?? Sushi bad (also I might be allergic to fish lmao)

Sun or moon: I can't even look at the sun, so what's the point of it?? Also im a lesbian so like. Moon all the way babeyyy

Polka dots or stripes: I own too many things with stripes so I am obligated to side with them on this

Macarons or croissants: croissants are the one thing france got right (joan of arc isnt french shes lesbian x)

Glitter or matte: the femme in me says glitter and the goth in me says matte. I will settle with both

Degas or Seurat: had to google these old bitches. Degas I guess but I honestly dont feel much for either style

Aquariums or planetariums: at aquariums I get to see the silly little fish and maybe even touch a stingray. Call me when planetariums let me touch the planets thanks

Road trip or camping trip: I plan to do the journey to my parents' house entirely on foot one day, camping along the way. It's 70 miles away across the whole peak district, so it will be what you might call An Undertaking. Anyway this is to say camping

Colouring books or watercolour: I wish I could say watercolour but I suck at physical art and colouring books are very relaxing

Fairy lights or candles: fairy lights because I would likely cause a fire if I used candles more often and also I am a fairy (derogatory)

tagging

@passionatememes @wellshitmeariver @transssminecraftklungo @diondecarnate @slorpjuice

[cybernightwanderer]

How whats left of me faded away, and how my first christmas home became my last : - The day my mom died. - The concept of family finally ended for me. - And how “ it doesnt get any better”.

23rd December.

These past few months i have been on psiquiatric medical leave from work due to a very severe depression thanks to the amazing workplace enviroment that has now crippled me so deeply physically and mentally, more before.

Its funny how when i try my hardest to recover and get my life back, its becomes so clear its a fucking joke.

Begining of the year i managed to fight off my mom on the money she was forcing me to pay her, and i managed to pay less from what i was paying before, and due to these medical leaves and corona, i get very little support finnancialy. I managed to save up almost 1k, i was ready to start believinng i could fix up my life. However i still pay her what i have to monthly, half the bills, 50 euros for food that i may consume at the house, and i also buy my food and my own things like i always did.

My mom has the tendancy to force me to take borrowed money she lends me.

For example mid corona time, i had to have gum surgery due to an old tooth infection, wich turned out to be 3 tooths, and i took out 2, needless to say my mom helped me with half of the apointments, i payed the surgery ones but then i needed follow up apointments so i wouldnt lose 4 more teeth. Apointments i canceled right away , beause i didnt have any money, and my mom being the mom that she is i always refuse her “ loans “ due to her being worse than a fucking stereotipical loan shark that takes that money back with interest, but in mental health and sanity. However she kept squedueling the apointments without me knowing, then tell me 1 day early, then get mad at me because id tell her i had no money so i told her to cancel and not make apointments without my consent and knowledge. This to wich she responded with screams , name calling , telling me to cancel myself and the general griefing of : “OK fine ill never help u with anything again “ / “ ok fine i dont care anymore then “, “ what you are too good to take my money is that it? “ Then when i standed my ground , proceeding to treat me miserably for the following week, demanding me to do random chores, just for the sake of punishing me , leaving dirty dishes of her own food acumulating so she could force me to do them and threaten me with a beating if i didnt, or making me wash the bathroom everyday for no reason.

With all this mess, half the money i had saved up + using it on the apointments and paying her back right away at the end of the month the consultations i owed her. I was left with 400 bucks.

Wich later on were also spent in dentist urgency apointments, because i kept having infections, psiquiatrist apointments and medicine and a laywer for the work harrassement situation, and then and there, all my money was gone.

The situation goes by, im home , receiving basic support for the medical leave, i pay my share of the bills and i do my own thing, however depression has gotten worse, my attacks have gotten worse, and everything just feels like rock bottom here.

These last 2 months, ive been trying so hard... so hard to get back on my feet, i was taking my medicine, i was taking a languague course, i was going to the doctor. I was really, really trying. Its funny how hard i was trying, for the first time in my life i was really trying to believe it could get better.

My mom was even acting nice and it almost seemed like she was really supporting me and trying.

December 23. Me and my mom go the psiquiatrist apointment for him to avaluate my condition. For the first time the apointment wasnt so heavy, it didnt leave me so weary from it. I finally believed. By the end of the consultation my doctor asks my mom to make sure i dont go back to that work place, because it might have a huge take on my life. My mom turns to the doctor and says : “ I know she cant go back , but she cant be unemployed either.” And the doctor says : “ I know, but if she goes back it can make her worse, we cant let that happend, its damaging her“ ( meaning she could kill herself, due to the last apointments conversation ) On to wich my mother replied : “ Well i cant be providing for us both with my money “.

...

When we arrived at the car i asked her why she said that and what she meant by that. And i told her that i pay for my food and that i pay for the things i eat that she buys ( wich is not much ) and that i also pay for half the bills.

To wich she agressivly threatned me to shut up and started yelling right away and acting like a victim with her mild aneurism that happend quite a few years ago in wich she HAS BEEN FULLY HEALED AND PERFECT HEALTHY, but always uses as an excuse to dodge the discussion after demanding certain shit or just plain insulting me. After a lot of lying and name calling and even telling me that i eat her food and that i live off of her. Into wich i replied, i dont always eat your food , and theres a lot of times when i dont eat and you yell at me and treat me badly for not eating your food wich led me to just eat cereals for months everyday as all 3  meals or not even eating and skipping meals for being too afraid of making my own food in the kitchen.

And so on... And i asked her what she wanted from me. And after a long car fight and a lot of gaslighting, she finnaly admitted she just wanted more money “ because if all your friends pay normal rent , you should too “ ( meaning a 450 rent ).

And then i just gave up and told her ok, ill pay you a full rent and i will also never toutch your food again. She laughed and made fun of me. And said : like ur even gonna buy your own food, you always use my things. to wich i asked what things? Oh you use my shampoo and toilet paper. To wich then i replied, everytime i buy toiler paper for me, you just take it as your own, and i dont use your shampoo or body wash i buy my own and i have been buying my own. And she just kept fighting me on it saying i do...and i told her i dont, if i by any chance dont have shampo ill use body wash as shampoo or vice versa. She just wanted to be right, so i just told her, ill pay you anything you want, i just dont wanna fight anymore im tired. To wich then she just kept saying “ oh now ur just trowing a fit “ And i sayd to her, why me agreing to what u ask and calmly shutting up to not fight anymore , how is that trowing a fit? i just gave you what you wanted, you dont need to be angry anymore.

And she just kept going at it, trying to poke my nerves until i just completly yelled and when crazy. The she acted like a victim again.

I am so drained, i am so tired....

After that discussion it was just 10 minutes of silence. I made a decision. That woman is not my mother anymore.

She wants to be a landlord so bad, she will be one.

My mother has died.

After a few minutes almost home , she decides to turn the “ mother mode “ on, and goes like “ oh you have to go to the doctor blah blah lets get your medicine etc. And i just told her, no. Ill go to the doctor on my own means, and ill buy the medicine when i have money.

Obviously she completly dismissed what i sayd and tried to drive me to the doctor and the pharmacy. After a few NO’s , she went home.

I got home, i took care of my things and i sorted out my doctors paperwork, she tries to come into my room, and acting like a worried mother like : “ oh did you do this -- etc” ( what i was already doing ) and i just told her, to stop. That she doesnt get to “ talk to me about those things anymore, or about my buisness.

Shes not my mother anymore. She doesnt get to act like a mother do just order me around and controll me. She is just a landlord now.

A few hours later, shes wrapping up presents and asks me to do it and asks me for my gifts wrapping thingies, and i told her no. Immediatly got mad at me and kept trowing provocative comments. And i told her, i didnt want any xmas gift from her, and that i wouldnt be spending xmas with her.

She made that usual smirk she mades when she sees me upset.

fast forward, the next day.

24 December

---

[notyobabygirl]

hey girl! yesterday morning my dad asked me to take my brother to a parking lot to practice parking because his drivers test is today. i told him i would but i forgot about it like 10mins later. i couldn’t go early in the day because i was babysitting my little sister while my mom was at the dentist. and then once my mom got home i was busy with all my own stuff that i needed to do, so taking my brother driving completely slipped my mind. my mom didn’t remind me and my brother didn’t even know we were supposed to go so he didn’t remind me either. then i went over to my boyfriends house because he was gone all weekend at a tournament so my mind was set on seeing him. so when i got home as soon as i walked in my dad said “did you have fun tonight?” and i said yeah and he said “good because you’re grounded” and i was like what why? and he said “because you didn’t do the 1 thing i told you to do today” and i was confused because i still didn’t remember but then i realized. but i was instantly annoyed because why is he grounding me just because i forgot something? so we started bickering and he was like “you’re 20. you shouldn’t forget things i tell you to do, are you dumb? you didn’t do the one thing i told you to do so you’re grounded. maybe this will teach you responsibility” so i said “i know responsibility. i was just so busy that i forgot to, you’re acting like you don’t forget things sometimes”. and idk he was just being a jerk about it and not taking any of my reasons seriously. and like wtf does my age have to do with forgetting something? i felt bad because i didn’t know my brothers test was today so they had to leave early this morning for him to practice parking more before going. and obviously i feel bad for forgetting but like there’s nothing i can do about it? grounding me won’t teach me anything and i feel like that’s a bit extreme to do for a simple mistake you know? and it’s extra annoying because my boyfriend was gone all weekend and now i can’t even see him for idk how long. idk how to go about this because my dad was being so petty last night towards me, so idk if trying to negotiate with him about it so i’m not grounded anything will work (with him it usually does- he’ll say i’m grounded but then i’ll ask him to not be and he’ll comply with me). or if i should just leave it alone even though i think it’s ridiculous to ground someone for forgetting something.

im seeing this late I know its been a couple days but that is very annoying. shit happens and sometimes you genuinely just forget to do stuff which is what happened to you. idk if your still grounded or what but going forward I learned that the best way to get out of being grounded or in a fight with a family member is to suck up to them. as much as I hated being nice to my mom after she grounded it always worked and I always would get out of the punishment. all I would want to do is to fight back and yell at her about my punishment but really just be like okay and then apologizing and sucking up to her made it so much better

[thereal-linh-cinder]

Cinder’s Notes on Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets

We’re back with CoS!

Again, massive spoilers for the entire HP series (obviously)

Woo the hell plans where theyre going to stand when dinner guests arrive? you seem so unbelievably inhuman, which, i suppose the Dursleys are, but still...

DUDLEY’S COMPLIMENT FOR MRS. MASON

Because Harry is an unreliable narrator, is it possible that the Dursleys treat him slightly better than is described? Unlikely, but something to consider

Harry is so humble?

He’s also hilarious “[Voldemort] hasnt got a brother, has he?”

bars on the window are a bit extreme

the twins ooze chaotic energy

are the owls that wizards use magical? they always seem to understand humans VERY well...or is it just magic that gives magic folk a better connection w animals? Or is that just how owls are? Or do I just not understand how carrier birds work? 

rather convinient that only the bottom stair creaks and not like. the 13th from the top or something

“Draco made Dudley sound sweet” i mean. childish bullying at school  vs physical abuse for years but ok go off jkr

the twins are 14 and driving a car. in Britain. where you have to be 18. chaos

Mrs. Weasley reminds me way too much of my own mother

Percy wears sweater vests confirmed (are we surprised)

Please take a moment to imagine Percy’s reaction to Hermione becoming Minister

Lockhart + Rita Skeeter (idk what this means but its in my notes)

“got the impression that Snape could read minds” 👀

Lockhart is just gonna go through the whole rainbow huh

Lockhart really compared Harry almost DYING to him winning that stupid smile award. Bruh.

Lockhart has 7 books

I feel bad for Nick :(

There’s so much about the Vanishing Cabinets in this book!

that moment with the salamander and the firework is a gem

Do Ron and Hermione at least hear hissing in the walls?

so Lockhart is basically running the Hogwarts theatre department huh

why was Ron’s first thought toenails

Scarhead? Thats the BEST insult you can come up with, Malfoy? 

Yeah, let the 12y/o deal with the rogue bludger on his own, y’hear? (can you tell I’m a lot older now)

Honestly, Madame Pomfrey? Kinda a savage

If Voldemort was 70 when he died in ‘98, and he went to school with Lucius, how old is Lucius? 

Technically, if all purebloods are related, Harry IS a descendant of Salazar Slytherin. Not the heir obvs, but you know

honestly when you think about it, Fawkes’s death is hilarious. Like Harry’s just chillin and sees a cool bird and then it spontaneously combusts 

Did Crabbe and Goyle ever get their shoes back? 

Ron has REALLY good intuition

Why do they still have Riddle’s trophy on display? Like yeah not many people know that he’s Voldemort but that just feels like the equivalent of like...keeping up a trophy for the kid that turned out to be a sch**l sh**ter

Ok but the younger Weasleys have this knack for bullying Voldy. Twins pelted him with snowballs, Ginny flushed his diary down a toilet, Ron barfed slugs all over his special award....

well Harry if its a DIARY where you conventionally write personal stuff about your day or your crush, why are we surprised that it doesnt even have stuff like “dentist” and “aunt mary’s birthday” or “half past 3″ written in it

RON’S INTUITION BRUH “[the diary] coud be dangerous” “maybe [Tom Riddle] murdered Myrtle] yall know that theory abt him being a seer? yeah

I adore these characters so much bc theyre so real?? Lke we truly watch them grow up. Something about the way 11y/o Ginny covers her face and runs away vs how she acts in the later books just. I adore it. 

So this is where I broke my own heart and froze for a solid 15 minutes. I was beginning to write “I hope the twins sang ‘His Eyes Are As Green As A Fresh Pickled Toad’ at their wedding” before I realized that only one twin got to attend Harry & Ginny’s wedding. I trailed off at the S in twins and you can see how shaky my hand got in the writing (i wrote all of this out in a journal)

Riddle’s personality is so well preserved. (and then I remembered that he made his first horcrux that year and THATS why bc this is 16/17 y/o voldy’s soul)

In Riddle’s memory, he stops by the potions room after speaking to Dumbledore on the staircase. Slughorn is teaching that year. Harry says he is stuck outside that room for “what felt like an hour.” Is this where Tom asks about horcruxes? Technically at this point, Myrtle has already been murdered and its been a while but I’m p sure he asks about horcruxes after class one day. But idk. It really seems plausible, and It’s possible that he altered the memory to show Harry...

this is my least favorite book so i just wrote “this is the most boring book. I’m skimming.”

ah forcing 12 y/o to choose a career path

Quidditch mathces are EARLY (im used to sports matches in the evenings but i guess soccer matches are early and such so it makes sense) (my american is showing)

Is sitting at any table allowed? I never understood that and it used to bug me in the movies. Is it only required to sit at your House table during important feasts? Is that how a lot of inter-house relationships come to be? 

Fudge’s wardrobe was ROBBED in the movie. They really made him look like an established businessman when when we first meet the man, he’s wearing a pinstriped suit, scarlet tie, POINTED PURPLE SHOES and honestly woud it have been so hard to at least give him the lime green bowler hat? Such a staple of his personality

i feel like we tend to forget that hagrid has been to Azkaban

Ron saw Draco being racist and had to be physically held back by his friends. Mans was ready to THROW HANDS. 10/10 absolute icon

The prejudice against werewolves is very prominent.They clearly dont know a lot about them/arent taught (constantly expecting to find them roaming the forbidden forest EVERY NIGHT)

literally WHAT would they do without Hermione

still shocked that Hermione Jean Granger would willingly rip a page out of a book, especially a library book. But maybe thats just the fact that I’m the daughter of a librarian.

is the basilisk page from Fantastic Beasts? They really called it “a page from an old book” its literally in ur first year curriculum but ok boys

Why did Ron toss Lockhart’s wand out the window? He couldve used it instead of his spellotaped one. Granted, it wouldnt have been very good later on if he had, but. You know?

if this Tom is just an imprint of Voldy’s soul at 16/17, how does he even know who Harry is

he already has voldy’s laugh

OH Ginny told him about Harry that makes sense

Voldemort is SO dramatic. Imagine your buddy Tom one day says “hello dearest closest friends, I’ve decided I hate my name so I tried to make an acronym. Please only refer to me as Voldemort from now on. Also I could spell Lord with my name, so I am claiming my new status as a Lord.”

Also he’s holding Harry’s wand. Why is he sending this ginormous, super sow snake after this tiny scrawny 12y/o? Just kill him yourself. Even when Harry gets poisoned Tom’s like “take ur time bro imma watch u die i have nothing better to do” and only when neither of those first tow extra af options DO NOT WORK does he think “oh well guess i gotta use this WAND now ugh” like was he just not corporeal enough to actually use the wand yet or???? Buddy. If you really wanted Harry dead I feel like you could do better.

the fang SPLINTERED in Harry’s arm????????????????? uhm

Harry gets covered in ink a lot in the series

Dumbledore is such a simp for Voldemort honestly

I forget that Harry & Ron get trophies for special services too bro

did Arthur create the Muggle Protection Act???

...why DOES Lucius have Voldy’s old school things? 

Harry and Ron got a total of 400 points for this. But only 10 FOR TAKING OUT A TROLL AT AGE 11 

Lucius is LITERALLY on the PTA hes a school governor 

[pbandjesse]

So my sleep schedule got all wacky. But I am hoping I fixed it at least a little. I could not fall asleep last night. I was just endlessly scrolling on instagram. At like 2am I decided to take a bath because I thought it would help. It was weird taking a bath at that time. It seemed really loud. But I had a candle and the water was really nice. I might do it again tonight honestly. When I was clean I went and put the dishes away and tried to just turn my brain off. But I really dont think I fell asleep until closer to 330. But I made myself wake up at 930. James came to say goodbye before that. And I was like half asleep. But I got up and knew I couldnt go back to bed. I am hoping it all settles out tonight and I can sleep better. 

I had a nice day though. James had his double shift. But he made corn bread. So I had a piece of corn bread and a veggie sausage. I spent a lot of time just playing animal crossing today. James had made some parts of the island but I moved some stuff around to make it feel a little more polished. But still there is room for change! I just want a nice fall island.

I hung out and played for a while. And at 1130 I was like. I should go out. I was already dressed and felt pretty good. I braided my hair and headed to the savers. 

It was an alright drive. The car is feeling weird and will probably need a check up soon. But I got out to the thrift store. And I had a nice time. I was excited to find my own shoes! That I had donated the other day! I love seeing my own stuff back on the shelves, it makes it feel like, the cycle is working. I got those shoes second hand, and now they are back for someone else! Very cool.

I was mostly there to look for camping plates. I ended up with 2 trays like what my parents would use with us when we would camp when I was a kid. I also found a plastic french press and an enamel bowl. Excellent. I also tried to find James some shoes. I ended up with some Vans knock offs? I hope he likes them. I also found some leather ll beans clogs to replace my bass ones that I wore to death. They are basically new and I am very pleased. 

I wandered around for a while. But soon I paid and headed out. I went over to the joanns to see what their cheapest sewing machine was but they were all sold out and their cheapest was still almost $300. Gross. I still think I will try to get mine fixed, but James is going to try to figure out getting me his mom's old machine this week. I just want to work on my quilt! While I have time! But its okay. I will have time Im sure. 

I left there and went over to the dollar store. Got a few more camping things and then walked across the shopping center to go to the home depot. I enjoyed walking around and bought plants. 

I jumped back in the car and went over to the beauty supply store and got clippers to try to cut James's hair. I am nervous!! But he has faith that it will be alright so well attempt that. I had some laughs with the shop girls about how bad I did cutting his hair at the beginning of the summer.  Hopefully it goes better this time. 

I grabbed lunch and ate in my car. Enjoyed a podcast. And then I headed home. 

I got back here around 2. I unpacked everything. Cleaned the dishes I bought. Packed things up. And then I was just. Chilling. I played more animal crossing. I had breadpudding and a piece of pizza for dinner. My tooth hurts really bad again. James is going to try to find us dentists this week. But tomorrow we are getting flu shots. So obviously we are the pinnacle of health. 

I have been really tired, I think both because the bad sleep last night, but also because the sun is going down earlier. That is always hard on me. But hopefully it isnt to bad this year. Im going to try my best. 

I am thinking about another bath. Because. I want to. And I think it will make me feel better? I deserve it?? And then maybe Ill just go to sleep. 

I hope you all have a good night tonight. Take care of eachother. Goodnight!

[fipindustries]

more of me using tumblr as my private diary to vent ugly feelings, nothing to see here

im getting really fucking tired of not being able to take my body for granted. and i dont mean that in the sense of “why i cant treat my body like crap consequence free?” (though i totally should be able to do that) i mean in the sense of “i cant trust that this thing wont break faster than i can repair it”

my health both in body and mind have been zigzagging all over the place for the last three months, both affecting each other, and i have lost that confidence that young people have where they can trust they’ll keep on trucking no matter what.

mysterious aches will keep showing up, noticeable enough that i cant just ignore them but also subtle enough that i cant just point at it and people will know what is going on and give me the ovbious cure. so im left in this awkward position where im not sure if i should just wait until it gets noticeably worse in a way that is obviously treatable or keep haranging doctors to try and fix vague nebulous aches that could either mean nothing or to be something really serious. when does it turn into a game of me crying wolf? when is it too late for modern medicine to help me?

on top of that i have some fairly clear problems that i should have treated months ago but my socioeconomic situation and the current pandemic make it very difficult for me to deal with without exposing myself to public hospitals.

so its just day after day of feeling my body malfunction in undefined ways and not being sure what to do about it and worriyng about how much time i have left to do something about it.

the silver lining in all of this, im am being regularly checked by doctors now so if anything worrying happens i can let them know fairly fast, i am in a much safer city now, closer to my family who can help me and guide me as to what to do and how to take care of my health, i am slowly and methodically knocking down problems, i am finally being tested and will know in a few days if i have the disease or not. if i do, well, im in the care of good doctors and they should know how to help me and im not in a risk group, and if i dont have it, well, that is one less concern and we can move on to what other options it could be.

once this quarentine is finished i’ll finally go to a dentist and that long due task will be put to rest. then i should be able to see an endocrinologist and see what is up with my hormones, hopefully they are entirely unrelated to all that has been going on and i can get back to them without worries, and then i’ll finally have that apointment with the cardiologist to check if that mysterious palpitation i had a few months ago is something i should worry about or not.

but until then is going to be like this, i am lucky that i never experienced strong gender dysphoria most of my life but that doesnt mean i dont know what is like to feel trapped inside your body as if it were a sinking ship that you cant escape, set on dragging you down with it. a faulty unreliable machine that will stab you in the back first chance it gets.

but, yet again, another silver lining is that even though physically my situation is still unpleasant, mentally it has had a decided and unquestionable improvement from barely a week ago. still not 100% there but unquestionably better than where it was and that is a huge relief after what i had been going through the last few months.

hopefully all that i am going through is just the “still kind of bad” point in my journey from “unbearable” towards “fine”. im not sure if im ready to have hope yet but i can at least believe that i could have hope in the future. eventually. if things dont get a lot worse all of a sudden.

[ishidasui]

Answer 21 questions, then tag 21 people you’d like to get to know better

tagged by: @lawlieting god im barely here and finally decided to do this thing ((jonathan van ness voice)) can u believe?

nickname(s): dont have one, only weeb friend calls me sumi sometimes

zodiac: cancer

height: 151cm shut up im still growing

last movie i saw: the lighthouse (2019) with some friends half of them absolutely hated it and i can kind of understand why but personally i found it glorious

last thing I googled: ‘yuzu band’

favorite musician: beach house, muse, arcade fire, rn listening to alot of matt and kim, hozier

song stuck in my head: angels by robbie williams.....sigh

other blogs: none, i used to have a muse blog before this one though

do i get asks? no lol

following: 224

amount of sleep: in an ideal world 8-9 hours but on weekdays mostly about 7 hours or less

what i’m wearing: grey sweat pants and grey big ass sweater

dream job: SIGH i dont know for now i just wanna be freed from uni and earn money but WHAT to do :’/// if i manage to fucken graduate id probably work as a dentist at first and then try to get into sth else tbh those companies that do clinical trials and shit sound interesting but as i said...no idea....most of all id like to not work and still earn lots of money

dream trip: do a trip throughout japan can u believe ive lived there before and yet ive seen so few places...and then id like to visit scandinavia, i wanna see macchu picchu i guess...

favorite food: ramen!! sushi!! godtier

play any instruments? started playing the piano when i was like 5 for a year then my piano teacher moved away and i was a stubborn kid and was like if shes gone i dont wanna play with anyone else and that was it hgdghlfh...started again in 10th grade but yknow..never got good and then since i started uni i havent played

languages: german is what im best at, japanese should be my native language but hmm kinda suck, im pretty confident about my english, i suck so much at french i wonder where those 6 years i spent learning it at school went

favorite songs: these are a few songs i’ve been listening to a lot lately, picking favourites is Stressful:

american dream - LCD soundsystem

lose your smile - beach house

uma to shika - kenshi yonezu

atmosphere - joy division

seven words - weyes blood

random facts: 1. made mushroom risotto with salmon today. very good 2. can u believe i still regularly talk with my squad i met on here since like 2012 or sth 3. when i watch a show i absolutely Must go on sites like the av club or reddit to read all the reviews and comments on an episode i wish i wouldnt waste so much time reading through stuff but i just love reading discussions and other peoples insights

describe yourself as aesthetic things: idk what this means exactly so i’ll just list a few aesthetic things i like: simple pretty stationary, oversized sweaters, dark wooden floors, big cities at night with tall towers big screens world gone to shit à la blade runner/akira

tagging: @shugyos, @21tailsofwoe, @eradne, @roseswilson you don’t have to do it if you don’t feel like it, obviously :-)

[beblebumm]

lesbian mom

My sister told me I dress like a lesbian mom. With no offense meant towards lesbian mothers because as Chloe put it- if I was a lesbian mom, my style would be closer to cool. But because up to this point in life I have been straight and childless, I’m just an appropriator. Which I definitely don’t want to be by the way, but I'm an American and blind appropriation is the American way. Working on it. I’m in the kitchen in Cedar Falls finding all my last sporadic, traveled with items to shove in my XL backpack* by the time Chloe brings her new opinion up to her roommates, my family. “Cathy, don’t you think Maddie looks like a lesbian mom?” “a what? A lesbian? I didn’t hear you” ...and dad’s reaction: “oh.. did you get a surrogate then?” * (United and Frontier front like they will be strict about charging you based on the sizes of your luggage, but they won't be. Apparently my size of backpack does not count as a personal item (free) but instead a carry-on (not free). It's a glutinous excuse for a backpack. However, they don’t say shit to you when you show up on the day of your flight. In the words of my friend Grace: If it's on your back and not on wheels, you're fine. I have had to repack a backpack once, throwing on a sweatshirt and carrying socks in my hand to make it through. But you know what that was? Free.And Fyi- U.S. airlines alone made 5.1 billion bucks in extra baggage fees in 2018. Don't contribute to that mess.) * But anyways, to come to the defense of lesbian moms, I think I dress with the best intention. I don’t think I have bad taste, but I can have bad execution. It's not entirely my fault though, as I feel bigger boobs make a lot of outfits merge towards mother. Tops are always an issue because you have the possibility of looking tenty, and opposite that- the issue of looking too tucked in. It can make the attempted effortlessness come off as starchy. I also straddle this line of wannabe skater and NOT wannabe school teacher, meaning I would love to come across as someone who deserves to wear Vans and less like someone who is reading to your child over snack time. That one is harder to explain, but has a lot to do with stripes. I don't bother running all of this past her, but I told Chloe that if I was flat-chested she wouldn’t be saying this. She didn’t argue but offered to help pay for my reduction. My dad and I get in the car after I make an everything bagel with some onion flavored cream cheese. A Thomas brand bagel, of course. Because it’s the cushiest and you can find them everywhere. We love a processed carb. He drives me to the airport in his new-but-used Toyota Highlander, which doesn’t reek of cigs like his previous whip. He only likes this new car because it has a cassette player, but the low mileage is a plus. I just want to say that the Cedar Rapids airport is low entertainment. It’s a trade-off because you are through security in seconds, but you have to do things like chase after people to hand them their ID’s they left on the counter to help the employees out because we’re Iowa nice and when in the homeland you have to act right. And people wear really ugly printed leggings and foul footwear. Lots of camo and lots of Hawkeye logos, which I do not identify with despite it being my alma mater. I was caught in a very vulnerable spot with my thick and tall Doc Marten's, (not a good airport shoe but a good everyday shoe so what can you do) hunched over the ‘Get Your Shit Back Together Very Quickly Bench’ that comes after security, when I see this rushed looking, young nerd man in a long black trench coat. He LOUDLY and SO abruptly asks this similarly aged gal he was coming up behind whether her hair was red or blonde. She had long red hair with dyed blonde ends. She said “red?” and he says nothing but “HUMPH” without breaking speed at all. Why did he need to know that and also why could he not see that her hair was both colors? And if he cared so much to know, then why did he not respond? Did he think this was considered to be hitting on her?? Because practically yelling at her to inquire about her appearance is not cutting it. I wish for his sake I could at least call him a boomer but he didn't meet the age requirement. Whatever. She looked around for confirmation that what had just happened to her was so weird, which of course I gave to her by saying: “That was so weird.” The sole restaurant by the gates has Blue Moon so that’s redeeming. But it’s in a tin can which is not so good. I used to prefer a draft pour with an orange slice but I am partial to a cold bottle now, plain- no orange. It’s more consistent this way, as some places don’t clean their draft lines regularly and it shows. I met an icon on my flight today. I, of course, was assigned my usual middle seat as I am certain I paid the littlest amount of airfare out of everyone on the plane. Deals only. But as I step up to my row and make that apologetic eye contact with the dude who is about to have to move and let me assume my usual middle spot, the guy asks me if I want to switch spots with his son- WHO HAS AN AISLE SEAT. YEAH SIR, I DO. And this is how I was seated next to the only stranger I’ve had an extended conversation with on an airplane, ever. At least to the point where I was sure I wanted to be buddies with her. She was not stoked on the middle seat, but it’s the one she had in our row. The icon is named Erin and she said: “I’ve been ignoring people on planes for 20 years but you seem like an absolute riot.” I realized I also tend to spend a lot of time ignoring people on airplanes. I actually spend more time trying not to bother the people around me, aka holding urine in until I am nearly bursting because the awkward fumbling out of my usual middle seat is too much. I did, however, have slight banter with a guy sitting next to me on the way into Iowa from Denver on this same trip. All he wanted to say to me was that he had just been skiing in Vail or something. People love being able to say sentences like this, by the way. "Skiing in Vail". It's supposed to impress whoever they tell. Ok. But later on, he and I would exchange terrified eyes as we watched this awful moment unfold after an older fellow in the row across from us ignored all social rules and played his voicemails on full blast, speaker volume, for about 10 minutes. A young gentleman near us let him know that “We can all hear that!” which I would have never said but was also thinking. Obviously. The Voicemail Blarer says “Oh sorry” calmly but is very caught off guard. I thought- wow. That went well. But the Voicemail Blarer takes all of 30 seconds to stew before erupting. He belly yells that he is a “WAR VETERAN AND THAT IS WHY I CANNOT HEAR OUT OF THIS EAR WHICH IS WHY MY PHONE IS ON SPEAKER AND BY THE WAY IM ON THIS FLIGHT BECAUSE MY MOM JUST DIED AND I AM FLYING BACK TO IOWA FOR THE FUNERAL. PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE AHHHHHHHHH KDFKSJDFLKJDFLJSDF”... I feel like the percentage of people flying to Iowa for funerals is probably a decent chunk. Either you're visiting your family or someone died. Just speculating. ANyways. The Mourning Vet Voicemail Blarer said some pretty harsh remarks towards the Complainer that I can’t remember because I was so nervous as a witness to this that my adrenaline was working overtime to suppress. I remember being proud of The Complainer as he kept very level and only said a couple words to defend himself followed by: “I’m sorry you’re going through that man but we don’t all need to hear your voicemails.” I see both sides of this interaction. On the younger Complainer dude’s side, it’s not socially courteous for the vet to be playing his voicemails out loud. Especially for ten minutes. I mean Larry David would have lost it. On the other hand, no one was insulting his status as a vet or poking fun at his late mother, but he has obviously been through more life and more challenges than I and plus he’s grieving. I don’t know. I didn’t mind the voicemails THAT much. Back to today- Erin is the second stranger I’ve met who inspired me this month. Technically this year, and technically this decade, too. Happy 2020. From what I saw, she’s a kick-ass, take no shit, lay it all on the table kind of individual. She had a natural openness about her and radiated warmness but is the type to probably gaurd herself just enough. The kind of person who you would hate to see sad. Born in cedar rapids, went to Iowa for Journalism, got her masters at Syracuse. Has lived all over- New York, London, LA (I think she said). Will not donate to her old sorority, Chi O, because she can’t affiliate with that anymore because it’s lame. But she’s loyal enough to one of her sorority besties to fly to Denver and sit with her while she undergoes a chemo treatment. She asks me about work and I say I have enough side hustles to equate to having a real job. She tells me I need a podcast and says I must have been told this before. I haven’t. But If I had one, I would have her guest star immedieately. She oozes content. Apparently, there’s such a thing as coaching people on how to talk on camera because this is her job. It can be split up into different categories based on the size of the screen. Phone, computer, TV, etc. She kept saying things about “inches”. I thought this was wildly specific, exactly the sort of job you wouldn’t think about until you thought about it. Niche. Hopefully future me is doing something niche right now. But only if I'm enjoying it. She also mentioned some clients she has that I should speak to so I can learn how to travel the world for free. I could have clung to her and never let go after she said this, as that would make my life and her encouragement inspired me. Before this though, we agree I need a credit card that rewards with airline miles instead of cashback. It’s third up on my “to-do now” list- which is different than my “to-do” list becasue that one is for things like making dentist appointments. For the things that should not be put off but can and will be. Until they can't. She asks what my sign is, which is Sagittarius. She said of course. She’s a Virgo. I have no clue what this means. People ask me this sort of thing a lot now though so I need to read up. This guy I met recently who works at Wax Trax Records told me not only extensively about my sign but about my rising moon and one other part of it that I can’t remember. Or is it your rising sign and moon sign as separates? Idk. He told me that every girl he knows has an ex-boyfriend who is a Pisces. True. Erin also told me she’s on some board in Iowa City that is currently discussing the ped mall. I had a lot to say about THAT, as I feel the ped mall has turned into wasted space other than maybe one and a half shops. She agrees. It’s not being utilized like it should be, we think. Too many frat bars. Apparently, her family owns the Bluebird cafes or used to, and I said "ooooooooh!" but that I could never get a seat in the Iowa City location because every hungover kid within a ten mile radius is trying to eat there every Saturday and Sunday morning. I also thought of the time they burned my friend Madison Wood’s toast and she sent it back. I didn’t tell her this though. I like Bluebird. And I hate when people at my table complain about the food. She tells me I'm too good to write for random freelances, which I have dipped my toes into doing. Pays like shit. I agree and listen to her tell me about someone she met when she was just one year sober (she is now ten years along) who pushed her to take charge of her own point of view. It sounded to me like she was inspired to trust and invest in herself. I liked that. As if I needed another excuse to stay out of corporate America. Right before she fell into meditation and soon to be sleep, Erin comments on my middle part and my “nice natural eyebrows” which is funny because I helped the brows out right before going through security. (By helped out, I mean makeup-ed. In the airport bathroom, too far away from the mirror, two different pencils- one chubby for careless shading and one skinnier to help the endpoints of my brow that is otherwise dead.) On the topic of my appearance, I tell her that my sister had just told me that I dress like a lesbian mother. She said she loves my sister.