#in irl news. bc what else is a personal writing blog for

[whumpsical]

Jay

contents: flashback to a minor whumpee, homelessness, discussed homophobia, bio family blues

Some sweet comfort from one the rockiest eras of Jian's past <3 the gays stick together <33

sometime in 2014

taglist!!! @yet-another-heathen @much-ado-about-whumping @minerscanary

🌲🌲🌲🌲

“Come here, Jay.”

Jian bristled.

He was only sixteen at the time. He didn’t like nicknames. He’d never liked nicknames. It wasn’t anyone’s fault; no one had beaten or bullied him out of a taste for them, and he had no past relationships to any particular nicknames to turn him off to the concept. He just didn’t like them.

But at Casanova, one of the many gay bars in Jian’s early rotations, the owner liked to call him Jay. And Jian found that it didn’t grate on his nerves the way it usually would, not coming from Cal.

Cal first caught Jian sneaking into Casanova on a chilly, rainy night. It wasn’t the first time Jian had gotten in. He’d just had a harder time blending with the partygoers that night: waterlogged and shivering, too exhausted to even talk, sitting by himself on a leather couch near the bathrooms. His clothes were damp, leeching all the warmth from his small body, but even shedding his wet jacket didn’t feel like an option. He was convinced that the moment he slipped his scrawny, narrow shoulders free, his age would be made even more pathetically obvious than it already was. It was better to keep still and try to pretend that he wasn’t there at all.

Cal was on the floor that night, covering for a sick bartender. He’d wondered how he’d missed the obviously underaged kid’s entrance into his bar. It was a Tuesday night. Not very busy at all. Maybe it was the rain. The patio sat empty, everyone instead gathering inside and cluttering up Cal’s view of the front door.

Jian flinched when Cal approached him. He was a tall, hefty man, comfortably in his fifties. Though with age his ratio of muscle to fat had shifted, he still had an intensely intimidating power in his stature, especially from where Jian was sitting.

“Hey,” Cal said, with just a hint of the stern edge to his voice which he only fully put on for the handsy creeps and mean drunks.

Jian looked up at the man, numb in the face. He had nothing to say, and was too shocked with cold and fear to even try to squeak out a word.

Cal stood tall, unyielding. “You wanna show me some ID?”

Jian looked at his shoes, a lump growing in his throat. His head was too misty to comprehend much, but he understood enough to recognize he’d been caught, which meant that he had to find somewhere else to hide from the rain. He already couldn’t remember how many times this had happened that night. All he knew was that he didn’t want to go back to the shelter, but he was quickly running out of options. With stiff, freezing hands and a weak, trembling effort, he pushed himself off the sticky seat and started on his staggering trek to the exit.

Cal’s large hands stopped him, butting against his shoulders. Not grabbing. Jian couldn’t even muster any awareness of the act, just pushing his empty body against Cal’s hands like they were an invisible wall in a video game. Cal pushed back a little more firmly, and Jian’s feet tripped to a halt. He stood in place, blinking through confused sparks in his eyes, feeling lightheaded.

“Hold on, hold on. Hey,” Cal said, stooping down to meet Jian’s eyes, and, as twenty-something year old Jian suddenly realized with fondness, to shield him from the activity of the bar around them. “Do you need… Would you like something hot to drink? A warm meal, maybe? Someplace dry?”

Jian had no clue what his face was doing. He remembered his body as a hollow wooden vessel. Still, something must have come across in his silence, because Cal softened even more.

“Look, I don’t know your situation,” he said, squeezing Jian’s shoulder. “But I can tell enough that you need help. I have the means. Come on, honey.”

Cal started to usher Jian towards the bar, and a volatile switch flipped in Jian’s gut, instantly rubbing every inch of his skin raw and sucking the air from his lungs.

“No,” Jian managed in a desperate whisper, shrugging his way out of Cal’s hands and stumbling backwards a few feet before blinking the blind terror from his eyes and halfway remembering where he was. Cal’s hands hovered in a deliberately non-threatening airspace, allowing Jian to retreat as far as he needed.

“Okay,” Cal said quickly, in a peaceful, hushed tone. Jian’s focus still whipped around the bar, but Cal let that manic vigilance die down in its own time, keeping his own body still and distant. “Okay. You don’t have to. But I really don’t want to send you back out there, to who knows what, without at least getting you dried off. You can stay here, honey. You don’t have to go.”

The vividness of Jian’s memory drained to an uninviting mist. He knew that at some point he’d started to cry, and that Cal had led him with an open hand -- so broad it nearly spanned Jian’s entire waistline, at least in those days -- to a more secluded area behind the bar, where both Cal and the small kitchen crew could keep an eye on him while he ravenously devoured a warm plate of various bar staples and a few Casanova specialties. Jian remembered being offered an offensively sugary Shirley Temple in that same spot, but that may have been on another night.

Sometime later, a shift change freed Cal up to drag a second black painted chair over to Jian’s, where he’d been working on drying himself off with an only slightly ratty towel, having adamantly refused a change of clothes from Cal’s apartment above the bar.

“Hey there, kiddo. You feeling any better?”

Jian nodded sheepishly, embarrassed at all the drama he’d become the center of tonight, now that the terror had mostly passed. The heat from the crowd and the food had long since stilled his shivering, and an almost contented sleepiness was taking over instead, a feeling so unfamiliar that he was struggling to guard against it, finding himself nodding off every now and then. He’d been focusing his energy on staying upright in the chair, and was glad for Cal’s interruption.

“I’d like to have a little chat with you, if that’s okay,” Cal said, leaning forward in his seat to match Jian’s height. Jian visibly tensed, swallowing nervously and breaking eye contact. Cal’s voice only softened more. “Sweetheart, you’re not in any trouble with me. What’s your name, honey?”

When Jian only gulped again with considerably more effort, his eyebrows starting to knit with growing anxiety, Cal nodded thoughtfully.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

A rush of cool air flowed through Jian’s chest, relief unclenching his jaw before he’d even realized how tight he’d been squeezing it shut.

“I would like to know how old you are, though,” Cal continued lightly. “But don’t tell me that either. I want to guess. Flex my skills. Is that something the kids are saying today?”

One corner of Jian’s mouth lifted a bit.

“See, I’m out of the loop. This’ll be fun,” Cal said. “Hmm,” he hummed, one hand rubbing his chin as he made a show of scrutinizing Jian’s scrappy appearance. “I’ve got nieces in the eighth grade, but they’re all shorter than you. They definitely eat better, though.” Jian couldn’t help but chuckle silently under the heat of the spotlight, feeling himself becoming invested in the game, despite everything. “Fourteen, maybe? No, fifteen.” When Jian shook his head to both, Cal leaned back, worry overtaking his expression. “Oh, sweetheart, please don’t tell me I started too high. I don’t think I could handle it.”

Jian shook his head again, an easy smile finding its way onto his face. “Sixteen,” he said, his delicate voice all but confirming his answer.

Cal nodded, solemnity gently wafting away the air of humor that had eased them to this point. He leaned forward again, hands clasped in front of him, and looked into Jian’s eyes as he spoke. “It was a long time ago, but it was tough for me when I was that age, too. I can’t speak for your experience, honey, but I know what it’s like to feel alone in the world.”

His defenses down, Jian felt the words hit him square in his chest. Fear and apprehension prickled at the edges of the impact, but the crater was deep enough that genuine empathy was what struck Jian the most. He felt breathless and fragile as he listened, but he didn’t look away.

“I’ve seen some very good friends go down dark paths because of that feeling. And it’s hard to find your way back out. It’s hard out there, baby, I know. But no matter how lost you feel, you will never be unworthy of love, and safety, and peace. Do you understand me?”

Jian wasn’t sure that he did, but Cal spoke with such an urgency that Jian felt he should at least nod, though unease was building in his stomach again. Cal watched him with earnest conviction as he waited for Jian to answer, but Jian shied away from the intensity of it, breaking off eye contact and betraying the gnawing guilt he suddenly felt. Cal sighed, too softly to hear beneath the noise of the bar.

“I know that look, sweetheart. Your family?”

Jian hadn’t realized how obvious it could be. His stomach dropped and a flash of heat pushed tears behind his eyes as fresh wounds burst through their haphazard stitches. He could feel the metaphorical slam of the door all over again, the pain of his father’s violent and consummate rejection only compounded by the past year he’d spent trying to stitch himself back together without him. Failing miserably. He bit his cheek to keep the rest from spilling, and locked eyes with Cal to silently implore him to continue.

Cal didn’t falter. He wrapped Jian’s restlessly clenching fists between his warm hands and leaned in.

“There’s not a lot I can do to change the truly fucking awful things that happen in this world,” Cal said. “But what I can do is help lift some of the burdens that fall on us. You are welcome here, honey.” He accented this with a squeeze of Jian’s hands, then paused, blinked a few times, and made an undecided gesture with a tilt of his head. “Not in the bar, mind you.”

At the gentle chiding, Jian found himself laughing with him, vaguely relieved to be acknowledged as something other than a novelty or a criminal. Cal looked at him without hunger. Being the object of someone’s worry instead of their hatred or desire had faded to a memory from another world, and Jian didn’t know what to do with or even how to identify the bubbly feeling which sat high in his chest. The release of pressure set free a cold crop of tears that he had been clinging to. With grace, Cal let them fall without address.

“But any time it’s getting too heavy,” Cal continued, holding Jian’s hands tight, “if you’re ever hungry, tired, need someone to talk to, anything, you come to Casanova and you ask for Cal, okay? I mean it. We make our own families here.”

Jian nodded, with emphatic gratitude this time. His head felt too fuzzy and exhausted to really comprehend the mess of emotions that writhed and tangled inside him, like a rat’s nest of colorful yarn choking his heart, but the mess itself was colorful and soft, and that had to be enough for now. He took a steadying breath.

“My name’s Jian,” he said, feeling shy under the usually anonymizing glow of the blacklights. But Cal beamed.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Jian,” he said. “Now, the big questions: Do you have a place to stay tonight? Is there someone I can help you call, to let them know where you are?”

“No,” Jian said simply, and the scalding, mortified blush that would’ve normally flooded Jian’s entire face and neck just wasn’t there. Instead, Cal’s hands landed on his shoulders, blanketing him in steadiness and warmth without suffocating.

“Now you do, Jay. Now you do.’

From somewhere in the comfortable fog of Jian’s distant memory, Dickass Lee’s voice wormed back into his ears.

“Come here, Jay.”

Jian bristled.

“Ugh, yeah, no. No. I get it,” Dickass Lee said with a comically exaggerated shudder, mimicking the tension in his captive’s shoulders. “I’ll stick to ‘Jian.’”

[asclexe]

⭐️ government-forced blog intro post ⭐️

(new and improved!)

welcome to marvin’s marvelous mechanical museum!

🌟⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌟

^ me if you even care..

art above by the one and only @pingunaa

remember 2 to do ur daily clicks for palestine

free everyone!! help some people in need!!!

fun websites masterlist

suicide hotlines

this could save your life!

kys /j <3 (KEEP YOURSELF SAFE /srs.)

hai!! hello!! hey!! what’s up!! basic info/fun stuff below the cut (very long intro soo sorry)

*flash/blink warning for the blinkies

name: asclexe formally? cameron causally, but call me whatever! no, seriously! idc! nicknames (ex: cam, ronnie, cammy, etc) are welcome! feel free to call me your pookie or your son or child or something, be creative!

⭐️gender and pronouns: i am uhhh. nonbinary i think. they/them preferred, but it/its or he/him are also fine!! i prefer gender neutral terms, but i also am more masc leaning. like im a man. but also just a person.

⭐️not specifying my age but im a minor. B cool!! internet safety!!

⭐️sexuality: aromantic asexual aplatonic lesbian dumbfuck

⭐️nationality/country: american fuck my stupid baka life (EST timezone)

⭐️ i am also white :/

⭐️star sign: leo :3

⭐️personality type: intj (also houses mtbi if u care)

⭐️religious alignment: atheist cause im god /j 💪💪

bigots and pedos/zoos are lame and not welcome. i bite scammers. exclusively nsfw/kink blogs not welcome. im a kid. ed blogs please do not follow me because im uncomfortable with that. also don’t expect a follow back if youre over 24 cus thats weirdd

also if ur a diehard stan of anything pls think :3

dni if you’re from earth or human. aliens only blog. /j

and everyone else is welcome :3

⭐️fandoms im most active in:

house md

doctor who (only on season 2!!)

good omens

warrior cats (on arc 5 but i don’t plan on reading them)

dungeon meshi

movies in general

+ any other fandoms i consume in the future!!

⭐️fandoms i rarely post abt but still enjoy

tbosas/the hunger games

dead poets society

six feet under

a series of unfortunate events

fnaf

she-ra/the owl house/steven universe/gravity falls/etc

bluey

barbie/monster high

doogie howser md

scott pilgrim

the amazing digital circus

the middle

stardew valley

the spiderverse

abbott elementary

aggretsuko

i will post abt my sims occasionally :3 most posts are text posts bc im untalented

*i’m looking to get into evangelion, supernatural, hannibal, saw, and dexter 👍

i write fanfiction and poetry (i take requests feel free to hmu), i do local theater, i make pride icons (also requests hmu) i drabble in the occasional doodle, and i like baking and watching youtube and scrolling through tumblr and walking through the forest and my neighborhood and making bracelets and spending money and laying on the floor and singing and dancing and being silly and reading medical textbooks and cool novels and hanging with my irls and idk, yeah! life! carpe diem!

*also i’m trying to get into reality shifting! (im not a freak i swear)

⭐️my fav music artists (a little all over the place:3) jack stauber, will wood, lemon demon, tally hall/miracle musical, dazey and the scouts, mommy long legs, the oozes, bear ghost, mitski, chappell roan, weezer, the smashing pumpkins, my chemical romance, laufey, liana flores, faye webster, MARINA, pearl & the oysters, queen, no doubt, slipknot, korn, mindless self indulgence, hole, some olivia rodrigo, charli xcx, some vocaloids,

i love pretty much all kinds of jazz, rock, and showtunes (except ballads. i dislike ballads)

my music taste can be described as like. neurodivergent weird kid alt rock and hot girl summer pop.

(music recs are very much welcome <33)

*taylor swift enjoyers follow at your own risk (i hate on her occasionally. i really dislike her music and she’s also not that great of a person)

random facts about me :3

⭐️i’m left-handed (bully me for it ik im a freak)

⭐️unfortunately a theater kid :/

⭐️tall for this website

⭐️the most insufferable and annoying person ever

⭐️DOESNT BITE!! (i swear)

⭐️ i’m genetically pitch perfect but i’m awful with rhythm

⭐️favorite planet is ur mom (i ❤️ venus)

⭐️honors roll baby 🔥🔥

⭐️im most likely neurodiverse?? undiagnosed but speculated

⭐️perpetually alone only child 😔 please talk to me i love chatting with people, asks and replies preferred, dms okay <33

⭐️favorite color green. all of the shades.

⭐️i haven’t cried properly in like a year and i am not breaking my mewing streak

⭐️minorly touch/attention starved :3

⭐️single & ready to mingle!! (please don’t fucking talk to me like that im aroace and a minor )

⭐️REBLOGGING MACHINE 💪💪

⭐️i’ve never seen an episode of spongebob but saw the musical

⭐️#1 BEST XBOX SIMMER 🔥🔥

⭐️im nicer than i seem (i’m also a very negative person in general but i keep my thoughts to myself!)

⭐️i have a massive sweet tooth :3

⭐️(new) tags guide!⭐️

*note this is a new system i’m trying out, some older posts do not apply

#asclexeposting - all original content

#camyyaps - unhinged text posts/late night eepy time posts/yapping in the tags

#cam touches grass - the rare times i go outside and touch grass and do stuff

#ask the fellows - relating to my ask blog (go follow it go do it its @ask-the-ducklings go ask stuff)

#me ask :3 - reblog of something i asked another blog

#mootie :3 - if we’re mutuals and you send me an ask i tag it with this :3

*you also get your own individual tag for asks, for example @pingunaa is ping :3 and @rubeslovesthesmiths is rubes :3, etc

#cammy’s 4 later tag :3 - stuff for later!!

#cam plays the sims :3 - my simming tag

old man doctor yaoi prompt list :3

my house md oc :3

⭐️side blogs!⭐️

@ask-the-ducklings - ask/roleplay blog 4 the house md duckligns

1/2 of @meanwhile-on-the-road, the other half is pookie @sillyhyperfixator

@house-md-referrer - house md references

@theindierockcafe - writing blog

this will be mostly reblogs of my silly mutuals/my fyp, i try to make original content often! I ❤️ REBLOGGING ART YOU SHOULD DO IT TOO!!!! hope we can get along! ask me whatever! i don’t know! be nice and respectful cause i’m a minor!

SPAM MY ASK BOX :3 create lore, send me images, ask for comfort, WHATEVER!!!! im friendly and ill answer your ask eventually.

disclaimer; i live in the us and a snowflake so im occasionally political, nothing too extreme im just scared 👍 i also don’t spoiler tag!! sorry!

if you want me to share your fundraiser; give me some time to verify you!!!! i promise im not ignoring you!!

blinkies made in the blinkie cafe :3

[thegamingcatmom]

Hullo! As always love your blog and the service you're doing for the un-holy trinity bc there's not enough content about them and that's sad. I'm pretty sure you will know who this is but oh well, i guess I'm just shy to actually ask without the anon-thingy option. Today i come seeking advice for writing, if you can provide it, if not that's perfectly fine. You see I write for myself, a coping mechanism of sorts and when i got back to the fandom after so many years and got struck with teh Denali obsession i used to write The sisters/OC, but as I became more obsessed with Irina I changed the relationship because I found it easier, we all have our versions of the characters in the end so of course MY version of the sisters will be different from anybody else (perhaps), in my story Tanya and Kate are more carefree, Tanya being the msot responable one since she's the leader while Kate is more on the playful side meanwhile Irina is the most cuddly, loving, affectionate and needy of them, even clingy, especially emotionally (Once you've reached her heart ofc bc is hard to get tehre XD), I think this version of her turned like this because as I mentioned writing is a coping mechanism so it is what I kind of needed to feel better at the time if that makes any sense and now I struggle to write the three of them with MC again because no matter how hard I try I always feel like MC gravitates towards Irina, like magnets yk and I feel bad for the other two bc I feel is not fair XD ANYWAY I would like to ask, any advice on how to balance that? The attention they recieve, the way they itneract without each other without feeling as if the others are left out? because i am frustrated that i want to write them all and it doesn't feel idk, natural? When I read your HCs, despite the tantrums thrown around their interactions with MC seem natural, effortless in a way that i am honestly jealous of because you make it look easy! (Totes adore your writing style btw <3) IDK if any of this made any sense? i struggle to put in words what I mean to say but I hope you can shine some light in my dilemma, thank you in advance and have a wonderful day/weekend <333

Heya!

First of all: Thank you, as always, for your lovely words. ❤️

I totally agree that there isn´t NEARLY enough content about them out there, so we all gotta change that! 💪

Also, I think I do know who this is. 😉🫶

Which: Anon asks are absolutely fine, really. Whatever you feel most comfortable with. 🫶🫶

We all have our ways to cope with things, and I totally get writing being one of those. I write to unwind after a long day or just to provide some new stimuli for those grey cells of mine. It´s immensely helpful with reducing stress or anxiety as well. ^^

My point is: You write whatever makes you feel good, what feels right for you. It´s your story, you decide how it´s gonna play out. 🫵

Tanya and Kate are more carefree, Tanya being the msot responable one since she's the leader while Kate is more on the playful side meanwhile Irina is the most cuddly, loving, affectionate and needy of them, even clingy, especially emotionally (Once you've reached her heart ofc bc is hard to get tehre XD)

Yknow, that´s kinda my view on them too. xD

(Except Tanya´s much more hornier, LMAO.)

Look, we all got our favorites, and I´m pretty sure mine shines through in some of my writing too. It´s only natural to have your MC / OC gravitate more towards the person that you yourself would rather spend time with irl. There´s always gonna be bits and pieces of ourselves flowing into our writing I think. 😅

...I mean, in my case (The Sisters), Tanya gets little to no luving because I really love making em work for it. The clingiest one gets the least attention, that´s the principle I go by here because I love watching em suffer. 🤷‍♀️

.

.

.

As for giving advice:

First off: ALSKNFLSAFNLF, tysm for your words. 😭❤️

I feel absolutely honored that someone would come to me, asking for writing advice. 🥺❤️

Right so, you already know how you view them, that´s good. Let that flow into their interactions with each other and with MC. Think of a scenario you´d like to see them in. Think about the different ways the sisters would react to that scenario, depending on their characteristics. Everything else builds on that.

E.g.: Celebrating MC´s birthday

Tanya: carefree yet responsible

did most of the organizing (responsible)

which...she will let MC know

receives lots of praise for it because it does look amazing

much to the annoyance (and jealousy) of her sisters (🙄🙄)

the first to give MC a present because she´s the leader (🙄🙄)

the present is a lingerie set (🙄🙄)

(which is really more a present for herself)

entirely chill about it (carefree) whilst MC´s turned as red as a lobster

will take that as her cue to get reallll close and whisper into MC´s ear how good she´s gonna look in that

much to the annoyance (and jealousy) of her sisters (🙄🙄)

will perhaps even go so far and hold it up to get a first...impression (carefree)

...🙄🙄

Kate: carefree, playful

the only one to wear a party hat (playful)

much to the annoyance (and jealousy) of her sisters because, as it turns out, MC loves party hats

I mean it

Irina and Tanya can only watch in utter agony as she receives all those cheek-squishes and smooches for being the absolute cutest in the room

as soon as MC´s back is turned, she´s gonna turn to her sisters in utter smugness

her plan worked out

her present is a roboter (you decide which one)

MC fucking loves it

Kate fucking loves it

(whose present was it again?)

both of them end up spending most of their time with that thing (carefree, playful), together ofc ❤️

...🙄🙄

Irina: cuddly/loving/affectionate/clingy

immediately wraps MC in a hug

nose rubs

whispers b-day wishes into MC´s ear

the sweetest b-day kiss

and one more

and one more

and-

the coughing behind her reminds her that, ah yes-

presents MC her gift a lil sheepishly because she almost forgot about it since she was entirely focused on...other things

has the most hopeful/attentive look on her face when MC opens it

the present is a photo album containing all their adventures/special moments together, with date and all

MC tears up and throws herself at her

they stay like that for a while

and another while

and another-

🙄🙄

...

...🥹🥹

That´s kinda how I would do it. Just get a feel for how they would react first. What makes them different from one another? What´s something that makes you go "ahh ye, that´s totally them"? Their interaction comes more naturally then because it will feel more natural.

Well, I hope that made sense? I´m not sure if that´s the advice you were looking for, or if it´s any helpful at all. But that´s pretty much how I do it. 😅

If you have any more questions, I´d be happy to answer them to the best of my ability! ^^

Wonderful day/week to you as well &

Thanks a lot for that lovely ask! 💋

EDIT:

I mentioned it in the comments, but I´m putting it here as well because I think that´s also very good advice:

There doesn´t always have to be a balance.

Sometimes, good storytelling thrives on imbalance. It spices things up and encourages you to approach/view certain situations from a different perspective. It can also inspire new thoughts and ideas. 💡

There is no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to writing. ☝️ ^^

[blueindigo17]

hi writeblr!! it's nice to meet you!!

I’ve had this blog for years but never posted anything bc to be honest I was a little afraid of tumblr when I first joined, but recently I decided that since I like talking about my wips so much to my friends/family irl, why not blog about them? I also want to find some writing mutuals, since I like hearing about people’s stories just as much as I like telling them about mine. Feel free to interact, follow, message, etc. I love making friends :D

About me <3

I go by Blue or BlueIndigo online, so feel free to use either of those :)

My pronouns are she/her

I’m 19, which also happens to be my favorite number :)

I have five (sort of six?) wips and over a hundred characters. I may have a problem.

I am a BIG swiftie (favorite albums are 1989 TV and TTPD), and I listen to a lot of 5SOS, Olivia Rodrigo, Gracie Abrams, Conan Gray, and The Scarlet Opera. Also the occasional Chappell Roan.

I love reading!! My favorite books are Carrie Soto Is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid (my fav author) and She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen.

I've played ukulele for a few years, and I recently started learning guitar. there's a greater than zero chance I might post any music things in the future. ig we'll see.

I have a thing where my wip titles have to make good acronyms or I don’t use them. idk why either.

I love talking about my wips (and also everything else) to the point of annoyance. (#blueindigo says things for non-wip related stuff <3)

tag games are an ABSOLUTE YES my personal brand of yapping is answering questions lol

I like to write…

Realistic/contemporary fiction

Young adult/new adult

LGBTQ+ characters

Coming of age

Romance

Friend groups/found family

otherwise just people being people :)

More about my wips below !!

My WIPs

Never Have We Ever (NHWE)

Tags: #wip: never have we ever #wip: NHWE

Summary: Liz has the best friends a girl could ask for. Harley, Mikey, and Natasha have been her people since elementary school, and Trevor and Amanda since middle school. Their whole lives, things have been pretty much the same. Same kids in their classes every year. Same streets between the same houses. Same, same, same. At the end of her freshman year of high school, just about when Liz is wondering how much same she could possibly handle, she catches Trevor’s eye as he laughs at someone’s joke, and something deep inside her lights up. Something she doesn’t know what to do with. Something she can't push back down once it comes barreling up to the surface. So much for same. After that, things can’t stop changing. And not just in her own life—her friend group starts pulling apart at the seams. Harley begins withdrawing from everyone with no explanation. Mikey gets in bigger trouble with his dad than ever. Natasha only has a year before she has to move off to college. Amanda is stuck between the person she is and the person the world wants her to be. Trevor seems to have gotten off easy, but Liz can’t be around him for more than a minute without falling head over heels all over again. In this collection of short stories, Liz has to wonder if the change of pace she thought she wanted is worth it. Sometimes it’s hard to be brave, and she’s never been the most open to change, but unfortunately, that does not stop it from happening. The only question is: what is she going to do about it?

Genres: short stories, realistic fiction, young adult, coming of age, contemporary Themes: found family, first crushes, dealing with change, growing up, maintaining friendships Characters: Liz Stanton 🩵, Harley Wilson 💚, Mikey Miller 💛, Natasha Knightley 💜, Trevor Marshall ❤️, Amanda Hamilton 🩷

NHWE is my oldest WIP, started on December 16, 2019. It’s been on ice lately, since the plot has gone through so many changes that I haven’t known what to do with it in a while, but one of my goals with posting about it is to warm myself back up to it. I think writing that summary was a good place to start. Wish me luck :D

The Together List (TTL)

Tags: #wip: the together list #wip: TTL

Summary: Audrey is in her first month of college. Within three weeks, she’s moved out of her childhood bedroom and into a room with a window that seems to open on its own and a door that creaks loud enough to wake up the whole floor, she’s stumbled into a friend group that seemed to pull itself together like drawstrings, and she’s gotten a job at an adorable independent milkshake shop with her roommate and one of her new friends. What more could she possibly ask for? The world, it seems. Audrey has a list ten miles long of all the little things she wants college to be. One night, she starts listing them out loud. Her friends—Logan, Lennon, McKinley, Aspen, and Levi—chime in with their own after a moment, and before anyone knows it it’s been three hours and they haven’t stopped. They aren’t even sure whose idea it is, but they start writing it down. Every box on this ridiculously decorated list will be checked off by the end of the year, they swear. Someone makes an Instagram account as a joke, but by the first post it’s become as serious an endeavor as they’ve ever had. They wouldn’t call themselves local celebrities, but they certainly wouldn’t correct you if you did. The thing about fame at this age, even at small amounts, is that it's bound to go to someone's head...

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, new adult fiction, coming of age, LGBTQ+ fiction Themes: LGBTQ+, friendships, fame, college, becoming an adult, relationships Characters: Audrey Marshall 💙, Logan Levine 🧡, Lennon Adler 💛, McKinley March 💜, Aspen Brady ❤️, Levi Jackson 💚

TTL was created on August 18, 2021. I saw a post on Pinterest of someone's summer bucket list and that sounded like such a fun thing to do with friends that I had to write about it. Two and a half-ish years later, TTL has also gone through many changes, so I'm sort of trying to refresh it now. I'm very excited to see where it takes me!

(Fun fact: the main character, Audrey, is the older sister of Trevor from NHWE!)

The Violet Sisters Club (TVSC)

Tags: #wip: the violet sisters club #wip: TVSC

Summary: The Violet Sisters Club, a world famous all-female pop rock band, is facing a very public lawsuit from a former hotheaded manager over their most recent album. Following the conclusion of their case, lead singer Naomi Tyler, drummer Inez Wilde, guitarist Chrissy Cameron, and bassist Francesca Sheridan escape to the luxurious Overlook Estate, a privately owned rental property on an island off the southern coast of California. Here, they can spend the summer out of the public eye, writing songs they don’t need to worry about releasing and letting the public wonder what they’re up to as they let the tension out of their muscles. With a property four times the size of Alcatraz Island and a beach over a mile long, the Overlook offers the band a respite from the go, go, go of touring, the privacy invasion of paparazzi, and the exhaustion of being micromanaged every minute of every day. Four pools, seven hot tubs, the aforementioned private beach, a high tech recording studio (just in case), a few golf carts just to get around the property and a Jeep to get to town. It’s unimaginably expensive, it’s incomprehensibly big, and it’s everything they need. But this escape may not be the relaxing California beach paradise they imagined. Soon, it becomes hard to hide how much the stress of fame was eating away at each of them—emotions run high, patiences run thin, days run long, nights run longer, and the strength of the band is questioned as the girls’ insecurities and anxieties bubble to the surface after a lifetime in the spotlight.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, literary fiction Themes: fame, music, romance, found family, secrets, breakups Characters: Naomi Tyler (lead singer, songwriter) 💜, Inez Wilde (drummer, vocalist, songwriter) 🩷, Chrissy Cameron (guitarist, vocalist, songwriter) 💙, Francesca Sheridan (bassist, vocalist, songwriter) 💚

TVSC was created on February 5, 2023, but the characters have been around almost as long as TTL. Initially, I created the Violet Sisters Club as a fictional band that would exist within The Together List, but at some point I couldn't get the idea of a TVSC-focused novel out of my head. I'm glad I never did, because some of my favorite ideas I've ever had have gone into TVSC. If I could have one wish, it would be for all of TVSC's songs to be real so I could listen to them without having to write them first.

Now That We Don’t Talk (NTWDT)

Tags: #wip: now that we don’t talk #wip: NTWDT

Summary: There are two important things to know about Hazel Henry and Saiah Bradford.  One: They kinda-sorta hate each other after they broke up last year at prom. (The same prom that ended with the school almost burning down and Hazel's twin brother's best friend going to the hospital. Bad memories all around.) Two: Someone on the planning committee for their senior class trip must be out to get them, because when they arrive at the hotel, they find out they’ve been assigned to the same room. This should have been impossible; Saiah requested to be paired with her best friend, Tory, who's going to have some explaining to do later, and Hazel would bet her life on the fact that she requested a room alone. Now, for the next two weeks, they’re both stuck in the same narrow room with its little square bathroom and practically-nonexistent privacy. The air conditioner turns on at random times, they seem to be paired together for every single scheduled activity, and perhaps worst of all—their friends all seem to find this situation absolutely hilarious.  But it’s just two weeks, right? It’ll be over before they know it, and soon they can both go back to pretending their relationship—and each other—never existed. Right? Right? Happy senior year to them. 

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, contemporary fiction, LGBTQ+ fiction, romance Themes: reconciliation, romance, friendship, forgiveness, guilt, regrets, family, growing up Characters: Hazel Henry 🩷, Nick Henry 💙, Saiah Bradford 💚, Tory Whitehouse 💛

NTWDT was created on October 18, 2023. Hilariously, I came up with the plot after making Hazel and Saiah in the Sims, and I literally couldn't stop thinking about them whenever I wasn't playing. As I do with every character I create, I became obsessed with them, and now here we are. And in case you're wondering, yes, I named it after the Taylor Swift song lol.

Trouble In Paradise (TIP)

Tags: #wip: trouble in paradise #wip: TIP

Summary: Sixteen years ago, Joe Alexander and Ben King drove across the US in the pursuit of Joe's true love. Today, Joe is preparing to move out of his and his ex-wife's house and drive across the country once more, joined by his daughter, Bryce, and his best friend/his daughter's biological father, Ben. It's all familiar—the long stretches of empty fields, collapsing onto a cheap hotel bed for the night, never being able to decide where to stop for food—and yet, Joe has no idea what he's in for.  This is a story of two cross-country road trips, and the lives that one woman is able to ruin in between. Joe Alexander and Ben King have both lost their entire worlds to Lilly Alexander. But the ones they’ve gained after her might be—in some weird, unconventional way—a little better.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, adult fiction, literary fiction Themes: reconciliation, moving on, guilt, parenting, cheating, manipulation, mental illness, past sexual assault Characters: Joe Alexander, Ben King, Bryce Alexander, Lilly Alexander

TIP is technically my newest WIP, since I came up with the full plot earlier this year (February 13, 2024). I've had the vague idea of it for just over a year, but I didn't quite know what to do with it until recently. It's definitely more mature with its topics than my other wips, as you might be able to tell by the themes, but I really like the concept and I've had a lot of fun plotting it so far, even if it's a little out of my comfort zone.

(Fun fact: the original title way back when the characters didn't even have last names was High Infidelity, after the Taylor Swift song, since I thought it was so thematically appropriate.)

···

OKAY I'm pretty sure I have officially run out of things to say. If you made it all the way here, thank you so much for reading! Like I said earlier, feel free to interact any way you like :D

This post is sort of a masterpost for all my wips, but I'm also doing posts for each wip separately so I can go into more detail. Those are/will be linked in the title for each wip.

Thanks again for reading, and have a good day/night !!

―BlueIndigo <3

[aprillikesthings]

OKay gotta distract myself from constantly refreshing my fic and staring at numbers, by continuing my spop rewatch

If you're new here: I'm rewatching all of She-Ra for fic writing purposes, and live-blogging it, with too many screenshots. None of this is spoiler-free. I make a lot of jokes and talk about my life and make references to other shit.

Also, I find Catra's villainy to be kinda hot (okay more than just kinda hot)

s4 ep1 the coronation

"April did you rewatch the Portal scene again"

Yes, because that's where I left it paused, mind your own business

OKAY so I remember this from the first time I watched it, like, four years ago--that of all the emotional stuff this show gets 100% correct, I'm not sure Glimmer's grief over her mother is all that accurately portrayed. She just seems to "get over it" too fast?

By which I mean: yes, it's the focus of this episode, but that's basically it.

When my dad died--and keep in mind I'd been no contact for six months, I'd already done most of my grieving for him!--I was so out of it I couldn't even read anything longer than a few paragraphs for multiple months. All my writing basically screeched to a halt. And Glimmer likes her mom!

BUT tbh I keep remembering someone pointing out that each season covers WAY more time than I originally assumed. Because the first time I watched this I assumed we were like, literally a week or two after the events at the end of s3. It's probably closer to several months. And that makes way more sense.

Also who else is confused as to what "princess" and "queen" even mean in this universe, like there are several princesses who are clearly in charge of their kingdoms? is just when their parents DIE that they become queens? if so wtf is wrong with Frosta's parents "lol you're eight now, time for you to be in charge of literally everything, and you'll never see us again"??

okay but literally did they only ask Mermista to do the flowers as a joke bc I am literally sad for her now :(

There she is!!! 😍

Also I read some (old) commentary from Nate about why her hair is flatter this season and nooooooo

oh hey remember that you tied up Adora

okay do you remember this specific time you tied up Adora lolol

"Don't talk about my ex-girlfriend!!! it's a very sensitive topic *sobs*"

Glimmer's coronation robe is so great. I wonder if, like IRL ones, it's made out some insanely hard-to-get fur and weighs approximately five tons.

The line delivery of "BOW! CALM DOWN!" made me laugh so hard I had to play it for other people and then watch it again.

"Power changes people"

Not everyone is like you!!! >:(

(if anything, responsibility is more likely to change Glimmer)

poor bb

it's Entrapta's little naked mole rat robot!! which is also somehow also a squeaky toy??

Scorpia wants SO BAD to find a way to see Catra as not a terrible person

the robot didn't deserve that

"Don't talk about my ex-girlfriend!!! it's a very sensitive topic *sobs*" (pt 2)

Scorpia is such a cinnamon roll

Adora literally only owns like three outfits. And this is her "nice dress."

Bow's dad's!!

Also this is framed so much like a wedding, even the music is wedding-ish

I'M NOT SAYING A DAMN THING ABOUT THIS

A FRIEND

okay maybe not

I'm sticking with my theory that this is several months after the end of s3 which means she's been like this (unable to teleport) for a while

Yeah, people have discussed this a great deal, re: grief: most people want to talk about the people they've lost, if you give them a safe time/place to do it. You don't have to avoid the subject.

;_;

I once again ask myself: where were you keeping the sword this whole time lolol

NICE (Glimmer put the fancy lantern into the little niche for it)

Aziraphale? Is that you?

IT'S SO CUTE

I wonder when Angella recorded this

YEAH!

where did you get the new outfit 2. isn't your other arm cold 3. she's fucking purring

She says this the exact same way she says "Hey, Adora" and I went "EUGGGH" out loud

Some people were like, "oh, her redemption arc in s5 was so rushed" and meanwhile I'm like, "I wish they'd made her deranged and mean a little longer, actually. For Reasons."

Anyway I've run out of images unless I reblog the post, SO: she yanks the little crystal thing Entrapta made out of Hordak's suit so he collapses and then taunts him with the knowledge that Horde Prime is not gonna be happy to find out he can't even subdue the Rebellion, basically puts herself in charge, end of episode

WOOOOO

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

arjuna bby ofccc 🥺🥺🥺

gonna wrap this up by doing arjuna and arjuna alter! shockingly the arjuna blog got a few entries for arjuna...incredible....

but yes, this is the last ask i'll be doing i did 11 of these so i think thats probably fair

favorite thing about them

everything. well

for arjuna i like that he feels pressured to perform perfectly at all times but still cant help resenting that that same performance doesnt come naturally to him like it seems to do with other people. i find it very relatable. i like the gap of him simultaneously being incredibly confident to the point of seeming smug in his abilities in things that he is familiar with/can practice, and his deep insecurity with basically everything else (especially when they're less tangible and unable to be practiced.) the fact that he seems to find himself unworthy of being loved if he isnt useful or helpful in some way is incredibly familiar to me, so it bothers me to see people miss that side of his character and brush him off as arrogant when a lot of it is overcompensating on things he knows he's good at so he can prove he's valuable. i find his sadness, anger and resentment that he masks and tries to downplay incredibly human and its been really nice seeing him grow out from his inital withdrawn confines.

also ngl i've wanted to shoot my older brother's head off as well but i know id probably react like him after. probably. maybe.

also i like his fluffy hair and pretty eyes

i also like how arjuna alter functions both initially as a mirror reflecting arjuna's own toxic perfectionism back onto the world around him, showing how the continuation of that ideal harms not only yourself but the people around you, and how he functions later as a glimpse into what arjuna was like prior to some of the most defining events of his life. what little glimmers we've seen of him are both incredibly compelling and incredibly tragic as someone who's lost their identity and reason for being the way they are. we know nothing of how he ended up the way he is, and hes a shell of the person he was. and yet even so, he was able to retain some small sense of self, and although he'll never be the same as his old self he can still have a life and form a new purpose

also i like how hes a cute kitty :3

least favorite thing about them

*passes the fate writers $5* write him interacting or thinking about literally anyone other than karna for the love of god

ditto for arjuna alter and also i want him to have more backstory bc i KNOW he could be really good its just. they wont do it.

favorite line

all of them. all of them

but also

t. thanks. im gonna go. go cry for a little bit thank you

i also liked arjuna alter's voiced lb4 scene where he was dying bc he sounded totally fucked up then and it was awesome (painful) but i cant be bothered to look up a link atm

brOTP

calling whatever he and parvati have going on a 'brotp' is probably not accurate but i do quite like their interactions. its very sweet.

other than that i also like his (canon) friendships/interactions with jason, circe, georgios, and orion. oh and martha and gorgon!

also i think he and karna would be funny as obnoxious siblings :p

arjuna alter is even less social, somehow, but its kind of funny to imagine him still hanging around limbo. 0 stranger danger radar. im choosing to decide hes more friends with cu alter as well to contrast with me making arjuna and medb hang out more. i mean they do show up in the same cbc so legally i can do that.

OTP

gudajuna canon fite me. i do have a bias for gay stuff but i still think its very sweet w gudako. i can and will ship basically anyone with arjuna which is why im holding back from just listing 70 people and i can come up w several more on the spot but tbh outside of the mc maybe like...his irl wivesandkrishna

also him and taking a fucking nap and chilling out. Tbh this over anything else I’m not primarily gunning for romance in fgo which may sound strange but c’est la vie

nOTP

im going to fucking solo a hgw on my own just so i can purge the world of karjuna/junakar permanently thats how much i hate it

random headcanon

arjuna was totally invited to the 'religion group' by someone (georgios or martha probably) who was trying to make it less christian (sanzang attends its only fair) and remembered the bhaghvad gita exists.

arjuna spends like 75% of his day in spiritual meditation the game just doesnt mention it

arjuna alter has chronic fatigue

arjuna alter's horns have blood vessels in them. why not

unpopular opinion

he should kill karna again. fuck everything

stupid comment aside i wouldnt actually hate them revisiting arjuna vs karna again IF (this is a very big big if) they actually delved into their actual history with each other. like explicitly stated in text why they started beefing, mentioned the things BOTH sides did to each other, looked at the opinions of BOTH sides about their relationship just yknow actually give it some fucking depth other than them yelling at each other for what (to someone unfamiliar w the og epic) seems like basically nothing? except some vague jealous feelings on one side? which is hardly enough to keep beefing for over 2000 years but what do i know

for arjuna alter my unpopular opinion is they looked at him and were like 'we could do this better' and wrote morgan and i want them to go back to him and give him a backstory as well.

and also he should have a summer alt. he deserves it

song i associate with them

*activates my emo gland*

for arjuna

for arjuna alter

favorite picture of them

theres so many of them tbh but atm ive been thinking of this one. whats even going on here. are they having a rap battle. are they assigning each other fursonas

[hannyoontify]

about the writer...

call me kie! (she/they)

18 ('05 line wya!!)

korean american

unlabeled asexual (feel free to reach out and ask if you have any questions! i'm always willing to explain lmao)

active based on pst hours

i currently ult and write for svt only!! (honorable mentions: day6, iu, lucy, jannabi, laufey, epik high, car the garden)

note : i'm currently a student, meaning that i will prioritize my studies above everything else so there may be periods of time where i am not as active as i would like to be.

about the blog...

absolutely will not tolerate any kind of discrimination, hate, or bullying for whatever reason. this is tumblr dot com, nothing is serious gtfo (i will immediately block)

this is js for fun!! anything that i write does not reflect the real personalities and characters of the members irl so pls take everything with a grain of salt

feel free to shoot me a dm or an ask!! a big reason why i joined is bc i wanted to make carat friends :D don't be afraid to start a conversation with me bc i would love to make new friends

reblogs and interactions are always appreciated!! reblogs is how this hellhole seems to work (so i'm told)

and pls enjoy!! thank you for reading this far and i hope you enjoy what i've written :]

[waltwhitmansbeard]

hiiiii, i'm fairly new to CR (it saved my life during the pandemic!!1) and i'm pretty much caught up with everything but my love for vaxleth is off the charts and it's both a blessing and a curse: i love everything about them but there's fewer fics about them than i thought they ought to have. i have gone through ao3 these past few months and read a lot and also saved some for later (including yours!! i want to save it for a cozy day where i need a pick me up). having said all of that i was wondering if you have any recs (preferably of the longer type but ok if not) not just in ao3 but anywhere else as well? and preferably happy endings and some smooching n stuff bc wooooooof. these two got so much angst (i do also love it tho). any smut rec is welcome as well!! AND!!! ALSO!! do you think there's any chance this last ep can reignite the flame so to speak so we can all get more and more fics bc honestly?? i'm obssessed and they deserve it. epic love needs eternal retelling.

well hello! first i wanna say welcome to the fandom, we're all pretty nice but completely feral so watch where you put your hands bc we like to gnaw on things. (i say this like i am not also very new to the fandom; i just looked it up earlier today and my 1-year anniversary is at the end of may.)

when it comes to fic recs, i actually have to admit that i don't read a ton of fics myself (i don't have time, lol). i'll start by saying reading @romeoandjulietyouwish's au posts and drabbles is what got me back into writing fanfiction for the first time since i was a teenager, so i definitely recommend checking her stuff out. @blorbologist is, in my humble opinion, the foremost perc'ahlia expert of the fandom, if that ship also floats your boat. i have started reading her extremely famous one for joy but as i said, i really do not have a lot of time to read these days so i am extremely behind. my friend @ravendruid has recently started dipping her toes into the fic-writing realm, and i've been really loving watching her style develop as she goes, and my irl best friend and platonic life partner @runforyourshield is writing a vaxleth summer camp au called camp cloudtop you should check out! other recs you can find on my blog under the tag #fic rec. also just generally we tend to rb each other a lot so just stalk all of those blogs and you'll find some good stuff.

on ao3, i actually just today read a little three-part vaxleth happy ending style fic called with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair that i really enjoyed, and i've started reading this incredible fic called Heaven Couldn't Shake that AGAIN i started reading and then stopped having time for (!!!!!!!!!!!! i am busy!!!!!!! i am sorry!!!!!) but it is really good and i highly recommend the one chapter that i have read lol.

as for smut, to be perfectly honest, there is a dearth of smut in the vaxleth fandom, and like, i get it, it is extremely common to headcanon keyleth as ace or demisexual, and i don't have a problem with that headcanon at all. but me personally, while i also hc her as demi, i absolutely believe she and vax have fucking incredible sex and i wish i could read more of it (*eyebrow waggle* keep your eyes on the mfl space for future one-shots, jussayin). my recommendation there is to go the keyleth/vax tag on ao3 and filter by E, tbh. (also, don't sleep on vaxlethmore, bc those fics are *chef's kiss*)

(also this isn't vaxleth and idk if you've seen c2 or not but truly one of the hottest fucking fics i have read in my life—and friendo i have read a lot—is this shadowgast fic that truly gave me a nicotine addiction, bc wow)

will c3e51 reignite the fandom's fire for vaxleth? i mean, i can hope so, tho tbh, i'm keeping my hopes low. i know that, generally speaking, more people care for perc'ahlia than vaxleth (which was truly the wildest thing for me to find out when i started interacting w the fandom at large, i assumed everyone would be as fucking feral for vaxleth as i was), so i don't imagine there's gonna be a ton of new people writing them, but hey, maybe the episode will spur some people who haven't watched c1 to go watch, and they'll be the new generation of vaxleth shippers (again, me talking like i'm not the new generation of vaxleth shippers).

i hope i answered all of your questions, and thanks for being part of this community! i hope you find what you're looking for.

[heathersproship]

I’m saying this in anon bc I’m scared irl friends or followers will see this but I like the pro-ship community.

I’m new to it, and while I don’t have any kind of ships that anti’s usually hate (minor/adult, family/family, etc.) I do have a lot of age gap ships and one ships that’s especially problematic.

My super problematic one I use for coping, and I want to talk about and share and stuff, but I’m worried people will send threats or call me things like an abuser bc I like this certain ship.

It sucks that I can’t just talk about my problematic ship, but the pro-ship community makes it better. I just wish there was a way to make sure only pro-shippers see my toxic/coping ship posts, and not anyone else like anti’s or irl friends lol.

I’m not really sure what the point of this was, so I’m sorry if this was annoying, I just like your blog and wanted to just say that I appreciate pro-shippers :)

Everything is /g

You’re not being annoying, no worries! I’m glad you’re having a nice time in the community! (Also thank you, I appreciate you taking time to tell me you like my blog! That’s really sweet! Sorry I took so long to respond, I had a very early night lol.)

Someone put Howl’s Moving Castle on a list of “problematic media” because for the majority of it Sophie is cursed to be a 90yo woman and Howl is in his late 20s. Both the novel and the Ghibli movie had the romance as the subplot, but antis are still against it cuz age gap (also spoilers, she turns back to her original age of 18 at the end, so while the gap is still there it’s not even half as severe). But nooo, a gap is a gap so in it goes! Also, Tangled is problematic. Frozen. Zootopia. Disney as a whole is problematic “just” because “racist.” (While I won’t deny there are some very racist things in Disney media like SotS, the depiction of Native Americans in Peter Pan, the Siamese cats in both Lady and the Tramp AND Aristocats, and the company itself is capitalist asf, to condemn Disney based on “just” racism alone is a bit of a stretch.)

Haters gonna hate for the sake of hating. There’s a high chance it's not going to make a lick of sense to you because of the long leaps in logic to get to those conclusions. And that’s entirely a them problem. I’m actually really surprised When Marnie Was There didn’t make it on the list (iykyk!).

Anyway, back to you. There is a way for you to post freely about your ships here! Two ways, actually!

The first is to make a sideblog.

Pros:

great option if you’re lazy and don't want to log out

anonymity. no connection to your primary blog unless you link it (literally or if there’s enough info to reasonably ID you)

much like a vent blog, a writing blog, or an art blog, can be dedicated solely to one thing so you don’t have to clutter your primary/stuff won’t get buried if you want/need to find them later

can be as private or as public as you want

can get asks (anon or not) and submissions

can block people*

can send Tumblr DMs

*Blocking someone on mobile only applies to your primary blog. I don’t know if there’s a way to do so for sideblogs but if you’re on browser you’ll have go to to Settings > select the sideblog URL > scroll down and manually type in/copy-paste the URL of the person you want to block into the Blocked Tumblrs section. Which leads me to

Cons:

the blocking thing, as mentioned above. if you block from your primary account, you can’t see them, but they can still see your sideblog unless you block them there.

can’t send asks, reply, or follow from sideblog; all interactions will come from your primary

always the risk of posting content to the wrong blog so whether you’re on the web or on mobile, double-check and save as drafts just in case!

if you’re going by a different name/persona, you may need to be careful what headcanons/aus/ideas you put out there. this goes doubly so for artists

The second is to make a new account.

Pros:

brand new shiny clean fresh start! anonymity!

sending asks, following people, replying to posts, all the perks!

no worries about posting to the wrong blog

block to your heart’s content without jumping through hoops

again, can be as private or as public as you want

Cons:

a bit more work (emails and passwords and all that)

might feel trapped to just be about One Thing

same con as the sideblog if you’re going by another name/persona, in that very specific or niche hcs/ideas/aus/art could be used to ID you. or just go for it and pretend this really is another person who just happens to share your exact opinions on things. who’s going to know but you, ya know?

Whichever route you take, do what you need to keep yourself safe. You can’t stop idiots from seeking things out they don’t like (you’d think they just wouldn’t but antis aren't known for being logical, ironic they insist they are), which is why proper tagging is so important. Note the tags proshippers use and tag your posts with those. Pop into inboxes to say hello, a majority of us are friendly and chill! And regardless of what the antis say, you do belong in the main tags. People just need to learn to filter and block shit they don’t like, but that’s far more work than screaming at other people to a) block them first and b) not post things they worked hard on making.

If people call you an abuser for liking something in fiction, they need a serious reality check. Tell them to grab the fictional character’s hand with their real one and drag them away from the person harming them if they’re so concerned. Please. Don’t grab a plushie because that’s a doll and that's not alive. Don’t grab a body pillow because that’s a pillow and not alive. Don’t grab a drawing, that’s paper and not alive. Grab the real, living, breathing character who’s being abused and make it all better. Guaranteed they can’t.

How you cope is your business. You’re not self-harming unless you’re intentionally triggering yourself, and you’re not harming another living person if they happen to see something they don’t want to see. You are not responsible for their reactions. If it matters to them so much how you cope, if it offends them so much, they’re not worried about you, they want to control you. There's no one-size-fits-all approach for dealing with shit. Some people go to therapy, take medication, or both. Some people talk to friends, some people run, some project onto characters and draw vent art, write stories, or read those stories about characters suffering through their same problems to feel less alone in them. All are valid. It’s about what works for you. Not them. You. And if they can’t understand that, they also need help.

Happy shipping, friend! Take care of yourself!

[forabeatofadrum]

You know what fuck it actually, answer all the writers asks that you haven’t already answered yet PLUS another #25 if you have already answered it bc you can be proud of multiple scenes HAPPY EL WOOWOO WEDNESDAY

I should've seen this coming. I am putting this under the cut because this got long. Again, I should’ve seen this coming.

I’ve already answered 5, 8, 9, 13, 18 and 25.

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

I MEAN... look at my many, many WIPs. I think the main reason for holding off a fic is because I got stuck, or because I want to prioritise other fics. I’m trying to not take on new projects, but instead focus on older ones (famous last words, probably).

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

Anything written pre-2015, unless I have rewritten them (like This Charming Man or the SBL/Glee crossover). That, except for JTWLYT, even rewritten it’s bad. I don’t mind, You gotta start somewhere, right? Because otherwise I don’t really mind any fics. Like, I wrote a Glee/Animal Crossing fic once and it slaps.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Mostly chronological, but it doesn’t really matter. So yeah I write what I have in my mind. For example with Ljubim te, I of course knew there were going to be 24 chapters since it’s the Advent, so I plotted out a little bit what happens in all chapters and by now each chapter has at least something.

4) favorite character you’ve written

Jack motherfucking Zimmermann, even though I have abandoned my boy and I haven’t written proper Check, Please! fic in all of 2022. I want to finish two Zimbits WIPs this year, though. Maybe the attic vs. roaches debate breaching containment will bring me back to this fandom. Aly, what would you rather have? A person living in your attic, or 1000 roaches living in your attic?

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Oh I change things without shame. I do point it out in the author’s note, in case someone notices.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

This is a difficult question. WAIT NOT ALY THIS IS ME AFTER POSTONG THE ASK I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS ONE I WILL DO THAT LARER CAUSE I NEED TO GO TP UNI NOW!!

OKAY ALY I AM BACK (and also hello to others!)

So, this is a difficult question because I have the Fear of Being Perceived by people I know IRL. Not necessarily because I think they will judge me, but this is just something I’ve ever had. This is also why I am not going to karaoke night tonight. As a result I do not tell people I write, but not because I am embarrassed. I have just always kept my online and offline lives separately, you know? And this has only grown over the years. I have, like, one person I know IRL follow my personal blog and I created this blog because I do not want him to see my stuff. It’s literally in the bio of this blog. This is also why my name isn’t on here, although I do not mind when people use it in asks or replies. It’s not foolproof, I am aware, but it’s how it is.

But I am also fucking proud of my work and I an enthusiastic. This is why I love ask games like this or communites on Discord. I put a lot of time and effort into my work so of course I love to blabber about it. The person I mentioned above? Yeah, he knows I write fic. But I made him promise to not go look for it. Now I did meet some people who unabashedly talk about what filth they post on AO3. And I told these people I write fic to. But I am always feeling that hesistant feeling. I told them vaguely about Bakery fic and So Much Better, but I am never going to send them the link so if they want to find it, they can, but I will not be the one giving my AO3 away. (Rip. I never kudo their fics either for this reason, cause my AO3 account will pop up).

Aka it is just kind of weird.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I CAN NEVER WRITE WITH PEOPLE AROUND. This is why, when I visit my parents’ house for the weekend, I write less. I recently told Jenna (@thnxforknowingme, not Ushkowitz) that I am shook that she can write at work. I cannot relate.

I don’t like silence in general. I always have sound on, but it doesn’t really matter what. I am currently listening to The Last Five Years lockdown version, but I also just put on video essays that I have seen before, or gaming music, or YouTuber content. Only when I have a specific song/playlist for a fic, I tend to actively choose what I put on, like the playlist for River fic was on repeat during the writing. And Nothing Matters When We’re Dancing is my song for “damn Baz, you live like this”/Time After Time. That kind of stuff.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

Uh. Everything. But I am also not too harsh on myself. I was 13. I am 24 now. And my English has improved. Fun fact, I did not know the difference between make out and break up for a very long time.

OH AND I LEARNED HOW TO DO PROPER PARAGRAPH BREAKS

12) your weaknesses as an author

Movements. Setting. That kind of stuff. When two people are in a scene and talk, I love the dialogue but I am constantly like “oh God, what else is going on in this scene?”

I am writing a scene for Ljubim te with Kurt and Sunil in a restaurant and I am constantly like “DON’T FORGET THEY NEED TO EAT!!!”

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

Not right now. I don’t make playlists for my fics that often, unless I want to integrate the music into the fic (again, see River fic). Or I make a playlist AFTER I am done, like my Myosotis playlist.

15) why did you start writing?

Fanfiction? When I first read Harry Potter when I was around 11, but I used to write stories before that. Shout out to TEENZZONE and my first ever gay character that I made when I was 10 and then I got scared cause oooooh homosexuality scary!!! ooooh taboooo!!!! and erased it and made him marry a lovely woman named Daisy but then years later I was like “fuck it he’s bi then”

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

Oh, uh? The first ever gay now bi character from TEENZZONE I guess. Fuck, was Danny his name, or was Danny the guy who came before Daisy? Look, I was 10. Ik zat in groep 7, of misschien zelfs 6. It’s been 14 years.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

It doesn’t have to be perfect. I am not a published author. This is all for fun. Besides, I read a lot of fic that maybe aren’t “that good” in the eyes of whoever decides what’s good, but I still enjoy them and that’s what matters in the end. I write for me and me alone and hopefully people like it too and we will all have a banging time.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

Not

Jk jk

I often have a little section in my doc with “Information”, like a timeline or people’s names or what is happening when. The one for Ljubim te has the names of my OCs and the street names of where Kurt and Blaine live. I am thinking of also making a timeline, because there are some time jumps between chapters, although I also try to point out what month it is in the chapter itself.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Depends on how inspired I am. I write when I have an idea. Sometimes things snowball from there, sometimes it’s to only add one line.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

Define older. As I said, everything before 2015 I pretend I do not see, but after that I actually reread a lot of my stuff. Hence the “I write for me and me alone” mentality. I reread Mendacious this week. And I haven’t read the Anyway series in years and I kind of want to.

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

There are too many to list, but from the top of my head: non-con/dub-con, detailed slavery or kidnapping or something like that, graphic violence, MPREG, fic with one being a minor other an adult.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

GIRL MY MAIN STARTING POINT FOR KLAINE FIC THESE DAYS IS “WHAT PART OF MY LIFE CAN I LIFT FROM??”

Mendacious: a conversation I had with one of my friends about internalised homophobia

River fic: lol (my broken friendship) (it’s almost Real Blaine’s birthday) (ah, then it will have been 4 years since I last saw him)

Ebb & Flow: my love for Splatoon 2

Bakery fic: me being obsessed with a documentary about rich people in Dubai

Ljubim te: I miss Ljubljana

So yeah, sometimes it influences the plot (Mendacious and River fic) and sometimes it is more a starting point for me to build upon, but it’s my liiiiiiiife it’s not or neverrrrrr-

Also, okay, I am writing this Snowbaz fic called Just Some Guy from an outsider POV and that is coming from me very much believing that Baz is not that hot. Simon is just in love with him. Sorry Baz fans.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Expert? I wouldn’t say that, but I do learn about obscure things like Broadway orchestra subbing. And of course I had that entire chapter about neurobiology in Myosotis sylvatica. But I can’t say I am an expert on things.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

You can get some All the pretty things lore as a treat.

“As if in every lifetime you and I have lived, we’ve chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over for all of eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime because all I want to do, all I’ve ever wanted to do is spend my life loving you.”

This is how All the pretty things ends. Obviously it is not my writing. This is a direct quote from Glee. I may hate the proposal but they went hard with the speech. But I knew I needed to end the fic with this quote, since it actually inspired the entire premise of the fic. They hop through all these dimensions and in every one of them they find each other to go on to the next. And they grow stronger in the process. I do not know if this fic would be this fic without this quote.

For my own writing, I am really happy with the “emotional climax” of Paradiso 1 and Time After Time, but shhhhh spoilers, you gotta read that for yourself. But a shareable part that I am admittedly obessed with is from The Naked Truth:

We’re acting like a bunch of hormonal teenagers, but I don’t care. We’re high on energy and love. The moment we get to my flat and I close the door behind us, I press him against it and he laughs.

Again, there’s so much laughter.

Is this what love is like? Endless exuberant laughter? I revel in the sound of his joy.

I wrote this because I used “he laughs” or “I laugh” or “we laugh” A LOT in this fic up to the point that it was making me wonder if it’s bad writing, so I just put it in the story. Hooray.

ALY I FUCKING DID IT.

[shayneysides]

if you're up for it, every odd question on the smosh question thing 👀

YESSS OMG IM SO UP FOR IT

1: Ian or Anthony?

You know it's gotta be single mom wet cat etc Ian. Honestly though that's mostly because I never really watched old smosh so I barely saw anything with anthony in it, I really do love them both now

3: What's your favorite channel between main/pit/games?

Easily pit, it has all my favorite series. Recently I have been enjoying games and main more, but I've always loved the unscripted content more than anything

5: Do you have a favorite Smosh video? What is it?

ohhh my god this is hard but I absolutely do. TNTL #9 feat. Damien, I rewatch it at least once a week. it's what originally got me into smosh, I clicked on it because the thumbnail had girls kissing and then my life was changed forever. the bits are genuinely so hilarious and I think really do it's one of the best tntls they've done. shayne's pizza place divorce and damien's detective stand out to me, when i was in middle school i would recite those bits from memory to my friends and it always went over like a lead balloon. 10/10 video i've loved it for years

7: What is your favorite series on Smosh (main channel)?

The funeral roasts! My favorite series are always the ones where they kind of just let the cast loose to do fun characters and bits and I like the semi-scriptedness of it where everyone gets to write their own script. They're always a good time and somehow they never feel too mean to be fun

9: What is your favorite series on Smosh Games?

I feel like current Smosh Games has way fewer running series, so if we're talking current SG it's the trivial pursuit TNTLs but if we're talking old SG uhhh probably maricraft?? specifically the superhero series they did

11: What's something you want to see come back?

SMOSH AND ORDER!!! AND SUMMER GAMES!!!! the cast is finally big enough again that these could totally come back and it would be such a fun time, and it would also feel less like just some reboot of their old content bc the new cast would make it so that it's not just the exact same thing again. please i need them back

13: Do you ship anything/love any friendship pairs?

I am very much not one for RPF but I do care so much about shayne and damien as friends!! Their bits always just work off each other so well and their history is so obvious when they're joking around with each other, it's just so much fun to watch them onscreen. I do also love shayne and noah's friendship bc it's genuinely just crazy to me that shayne fully watched noah grow up, i just think they're very sweet

15: What castmember do you think you are most like?

So my name is shayne . If i'm being actually honest though probablyyyy damien or olivia? It's honestly hard to say though bc to be a youtuber it's kind of required to have a big personality and be very charismatic and i'm like?? not crazyyy quiet irl but also definitely not either of those things

17: What do you want to see now that Anthony's back?

Honestly??? I kinda want to see not much change? the only big change i want to see is in the main channel sketches, but i've been enjoying pit and games so much recently i honest to god hope they don't change that much.

19: Is there a video/series you really loved when you were younger?

Uhhh not?? really?????? I started watching when I was like 12 or 13, but my favorite series then were like. TNTL and Board AF or whatever, stuff I still really enjoy now, so??? I guess Squad Vlogs since those aren't really a thing anymore

21: Did you ever watch Smosh the movie?

NOPE!!!!!!!!

23: Tell me an unpopular Smosh opinion.

Uhhh. uhhh uhhh i honest to god can't think of any? or at least any that i would be willing to put on here? bc i have unpopular opinions along the lines of like . i don't personally find this cast member that funny. but those are fully just like my personal tastes and feel too mean spirited to just say on my blog? and I really can't think of any else sorry

25: It's food battle time. You picking a pink frosted sprinkled donut, or some stick-shaped food?

uh uh uh stick shaped food obviously <- has never watched food battle

[leoneabbacchionotacop]

Welcome to my blog!(yes I previously had a blog but I'm restarting)

About me!!!

Heyo, you can call me Leone/Lee, Roxas, Nick or Onyx Yoshikage Kira, I go by all pronouns and I'm nonbinary + black. I'm kinda searching for mutuals who are interested in the things I am!!! I'm sorta new-ish when it comes to blogs so bare with me💀💀💀. I'm not well organized but I do try to be 😥, it's kinda hard bc I'm dumb as a rock. I do enjoy writing but I'm not great at it. My favorite color is yellow and I draw, write(ofc), read and sing. I do appreciate constructive criticism but don't go overboard with it! I play a buncha games(especially Nintendo or any console games tbh). I hope you enjoy my blog, don't be a stranger :)

Fandoms I'm currently in

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Demon Slayer

Five nights at Freddy's

Jujutsu Kaisen

One piece(just started Sabaody arc)

Legends of Zelda(specifically Skyward sword, OoT and BoTW)

Harvest Moon(especially FoMT and Pioneers of Olive Town)

Yuri on ice(just a teeny bit)

Soul Eater

The disastrous life of Saiki K

Attack on Titan

Dragon Ball(slightly!)

The Elder Scrolls(Mostly skyrim and a bit of Morrowind)

Undertale

Your Turn to Die

Pokemon

Gravity falls

Haikyuu

Identity V

Ace attorney

Stardew Valley

TWDG

My Rules + DNI

I do take requests but like everyone else, I have rules and basic DNI Criteria

DNI

Proshippers(incest, abusive, pedo, etc relationships)

Support DSMP(instablock if you interact)

Pedophile/support them

Believe in "Blackwashing"

Doesn't support BLM

Zoophile

Homophobic + Transphobic

Racist/xenophobic/ableist/anti-semitic

Hates cats/hj

Thinks tone tags are dumb

Makes fun of neopronouns

Piss kink mfers/hj

My rules

This is a POC + LGBTQ safespace so no racist/Homophobic comments

Bullying/hate speech is not welcome here

Whenever you request something, please be specific on pronouns!!

Dark content is allowed but to an extent, please don't send me anything gory, etc.

This is a Positive blog, so keep negativity to a minimum.

You can most definitely send me stories you're working on and ask me to proofread/ give constructive criticism.

NO SPOILERS WITHOUT A SPOILER WARNING!!!!

If you know me irl, or I have told you something personal, don't expose it.

No extremely controversial topics.

Use tw's/cw's and tone tags(if what you say can be taken a different way, for example. (I hate you/j)

If you're a minor, interact at your own risk! Mature things may appear(not guaranteed).

My dms are open for venting but do put a trigger warning for any explicit/triggering things.

Have fun and spread positivity!!

Request rules!

Pronouns must be specified or I will assume its GN

I will write x male reader but it won't be the best since I was born AFAB.

Smut is a so-so. I most likely will not write it but I can try (??)

You can also just use the ask button to talk to me!(I love you all/p)

Preferred to be in English, I could try to translate German though,,,(I know basic German just a bit)

I have the right to refuse an ask. Sometimes I might be confused or I don't know how to write it.

Don't spam me with the same request, I will get to it eventually..

Anon is on but don't abuse it :(

[caroldantops]

hey! im quite new here and i have seen a lot of talk about readers interactions and i was wondering what is the best way to support my favorite writers (like you) because i think i have been doing this wrong and i really want to support writers who do this<3 ps. sorry if that was confusing, english isnt my first language

not confusing at all babes! you're 100% clear.

also can i just say, i very much appreciate you asking this. i would much rather more people speak up and be like "hey, we dont know the best way to support our favorite writers so how can we?" other than just. Not Knowing and Not Doing Anything.

so, im going to speak from my own personal experience but also what ive seen many of my mutuals/writers i follow talk about. this might get a little long but i wanna answer as thoroughly as i can because people should know!

im putting it under a read more because it got hella long, but please i encourage everyone who reads fics but don't interact to read and consider these things.

fellow writers i encourage you to reblog and add any other commentary you think is helpful!

before anything else (this is absolutely not directed at you, anon, you're perfect), i just want to get this out of the way. never come to a writer's blog and get angry with them for complaining about lack of engagement. like jesus christ. writers are putting hours of work on tumblr for you for free. the least we ask is for comments and reblogs. that's it. if you go and act shitty towards writers who ask for more engagement, yet still follow and wait for the next fic, like what are you even doing bro. just stop.

anyway. now let's get to the actual question!

basically all writers on tumblr will agree, reblogs are vital. and i feel like that gets said a lot but maybe people dont actually understand how impactful it is so lemme give an example.

so let's say hypothetically i have 100 followers. that is 100 potential people who see a fic that i post (i say potential because timezones exist so you might not see it as it's posted)

and let's say one of my followers (Person A) reblogs it, and they have 50 followers. that's 50 more people that can read the fic.

and let's say Person B followers Person A and they also reblog it to their 50 followers.

with only two people reblogging a fic, that's already doubling the number of people who have read the fic.

now imagine Person C followers Person A and reblogs the fic, and Person C has like, 1,000 followers. that's so much more exposure for the writer.

and that's only from two followers of the writer. so imagine if all 100 that read the fic reblogged it? the numbers skyrocket at an exponential rate.

plus, more people reading means that the writer could get more people follow them. so they get a more consistent audience.

likes, on the other hand, do not guarantee this exposure. i would say that most people don't have their likes public on tumblr. and also, even if they do, i know that I'm not about to scroll through people's likes rather than scrolling thru their blogs. likes up the notes, and that's about it. of course i understand liking a fic so you can come back to it later, i do that all the time. but if I've liked a fic, i always reblog it once I've read it.

now, say you're reading hardcore smut that you might not want on your main blog for whatever reason, so that's why you don't reblog a fic. look, i get it. sometimes irl people follow your blog, or sometimes you just don't want people to know what you're getting up to. but that's why i made a sideblog specifically for fics.

this entire blog BEGAN as a way for me to reblog fics i liked. and then it grew and grew and grew into all this. not saying that you have to start writing if you do that of course, but i guarantee, i'd rather see a small sideblog blog with like 3 followers reblog my fic than a blog just like the fic and leave. because that's still 3 more people who will see my fic and possibly read it and reblog it. 3 is better than none.

comments. reblogs are important, but comments are really what keep writers writing. they inspire us with new ideas, help figure out what it is that people enjoy from us, help us improve our writing, and most importantly, they make us feel good. and like writing and posting is worth it.

now, i know that sometimes it can feel awkward reblogging with a comment directly on the post. i even usually don't do that unless it's with a friend. but here are some alternatives/tips!

send an ask or DM! if you're really intimidated, sending an anonymous message is by far the easiest way to bypass that awkwardness.

write in the tags!! i cannot express this enough. comment in the tags. ramble about the fic. just put three tags worth of screaming. literally ANY comments in the tags are my favorite thing. i promise you that writers will scroll thru like basically every tag.

also, if they post it on both tumblr and ao3, don't feel weird about giving a little comment on both! i do that all the time. you can even be like 'hey i read this on tumblr first but wanted to say again how much i enjoyed it' and that is like, heart burstingly nice to hear.

also, if you're having trouble coming up with something to say, my like top commenting tip as both a writer and a reader is point out something specific that you like about the fic. when i comment on a fic (this is moreso when i comment on ao3 bc my comments are always longer there) i try to point out a particular line i like. literally if you just copy and paste it and go 'wow i really really like this line especially' that is the number one way to a writer's heart. seriously. it's the simplest thing, but it makes SUCH an impact.

however, if your comments are only asking for more fics, then that's not a comment, that's a request (which not all writers take).

saying something like 'hey i loved this fic a lot! if you have more in store for this in the future, i'd be really excited to read it!' is a million times better than 'will you do a part 2'. i know they don't sound that different, but i promise you that the tone makes a big difference.

(i honestly have more thoughts about good ways to get over commenting fear/know what exactly to comment that doesn't feel generic, so if people would like me to make another post about it i'd do it.)

and last but not least, if the writer has a way to donate, like a ko-fi, that always is so appreciated. of course, take care of yourself first, but if you have a few bucks and wanna show some support to your faves, that's a great way to help :)

oh! also, if the writer ever reblogs those little ask game things, just send them something! engagement outside of writing is also so much appreciated.

i think that's about everything i can think of! i hope this is helpful and that my explanations weren't confusing (if i need to clarify anything let me know). and again, thank you so much for asking! even doing that shows that you're a reader who cares, and that means the world ❤

[oh-katsuki]

🙋🏽‍♀️💖🛠 for your ask game!

hello!

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

this one is actually kinda relevant bc i thought it was only my housemates who knew but i found out two nights ago that literally my entire close friend group knows. im honestly not too happy about it since it's my private hobby and im a little upset because it means that my housemates told their boyfriends (and their boyfriends told the others) despite me expressly asking them not to. like it was not my intention for them to know and my writing is a very personal and private thing so it was honestly kind of an overstep on their part. but... what can ya do. ill stew in silence over it. i haven't gotten shit for it though which is cool and great, still annoying that my very personal secret got out though. as long as they don't go looking for my blog im fine.

💖 What made you start writing?

i've been writing since i can remember (short stories and stuff) but fanfic is relatively new save for ONE story in middle school. i actually used to be a fan artist on here about two years ago before i started writing fic! i ended up gaining a lot of mutuals who were writers and they kinda gave me the courage to start writing my ideas as fics!! that and i followed a lot of really fantastic writers who made me want to be as skilled as them!!

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

i live and die by google docs. all of my fics are written in them and i have trouble writing them anywhere else. sometimes ill jot down ideas in my notes app when im out and about but i always use google docs to write the actual story. arial, 11 point font, single spacing. OH and i also use grammarly tho i have some qualms bc its corrections aren't always right, nor do they make sense.

thanks for playing with me <333

fanfic emoji ask game!

[changebydjo]

IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ

 so i’ve put off writing this for a long, long time, and it’ll be painful for me to make this post but at this point i feel like it needs to be done. someone within the liz fandom has been lying, gaslighting and manipulating me as well as many others, both online and offline, and after getting proof on everything (plus their lack of remorse) has prompted me to write this.

this is about gil perez, aka @unrated-g, and one of his irl friends, kim @kimbus-the-whimbus, to a lesser extent, but mostly gil. since 2016 - nearly 5 years now - he’s been lying that he’s best friends with liz gillies. i’m gonna put a read more because it’s a long, insane, and ridiculous thing that happened, but please read all of it and know how serious this is, as well as all the damage this man has done.

​

i met gil through tumblr in 2018 - he had been replying my posts since before that, but early 2018 is when i followed him and started chatting with him casually. over time, i noticed that he would reblog posts about liz and in the tags he would seem to be talking to her or referencing her, but not by her name - instead he would call her “goblin”. he would mention things that “goblin” liked or behind the scenes on dynasty stuff, and after a few weeks of noticing this and chatting with him about dynasty/liz, i ended up asking him if he was friends with liz/knew her personally because of the way he spoke about her. he confirmed to me that he knew her, she was one of his best friends, and he “didn’t expect” anyone to pick up on it. he told me to keep it private and i agreed, obviously, because i had no reason to not trust him, and i know that liz values her privacy.

it’s important to note that liz does NOT follow him or any of his accounts from her verified twitter or instagram accounts - instead, he said she had an “extremely private” encrypted tumblr account that could only be seen by people she follows/white listed. he was one of them. her blog would not show up for anyone else, and they met through tumblr in 2016 (even though he said she followed him back in 2010 and he didn’t realize until 6 years later) through their mutual love for uncharted, and bonded over playing uncharted 4 multiplayer together. it’s also important to note that liz has had 2 tumblr accounts since 2010, both of which she has abandoned, and he said that her private tumblr is separate from those two. she also was friends with him (according to him) through PSN, where they would play ps4 games together, and all of his text convos with her are from that app:

(^ “liz’s” PSN account)

throughout all of 2018, we would text on a regular basis and started becoming good friends. he was extremely kind, always willing to be there for me, and listened to me about not only fandom stuff but also my irl problems. he also became friends with my friend group, who were also in the liz fandom, and it was really nice for a while. in october of 2018, gil said he went to HHN with liz and matt in LA, and for xmas of 2018, he said he spent it with liz - both in LA and in NJ, which is what she typically does to spend her holidays with her family and friends. her pale blue eyes cover was also for him, according to gil, because he asked for her to cover it specifically and she did just for him.

gil would also occasionally stream for friends, and sometimes liz would show up:

beginning of 2019 is when gil and i started getting much closer - we started playing games together (mostly mario kart, at the beginning) and talking through voice chat. he would talk about liz and personal things about her/her life or dynasty, and he always willingly supplied that information himself - i never asked for it, i wasn’t friends with him to get information on liz or have an “in” with her. chatting with him made me feel good and happy and important to him, and i realized i started having feelings for him - which i told him about in april 2019. he said he wasn’t sure exactly how he felt but he thought he might feel the same, the only really complicated part (besides the fact that this was long distance/not irl) was that he also had a really deep crush on liz, someone who was his best friend/ultimate celeb crush. he was really like in love with her, even though he said he tried to suppress it. anyways, after me admitting that to him, our friendship started to develop into something more. we weren’t ever in an official relationship, but things were definitely not strictly platonic with us. we went from chatting once every week or two to almost every single night for 3-6 hours per night for MONTHS. throughout that time, our relationship became sexual, too, and my feelings for him just continued to get deeper and deeper.

this continues throughout the rest of 2019, and then new years 2020, everything just...goes to shit asap. gil got really distant with me with no explanation, i felt like all the affection he was showing me and the kind things he would say to me, as well as our bonding time when we would chat together, was just ripped away unexpectedly. i constantly asked what was wrong and what was happening, and told him how i feel, and i got no real response besides just being tired/non-sociable, etc. (which, for the record, is completely understandable, but it was such a huge 180 in behavior that it worried me and things never went back to normal after that). in addition to that, kim (who was mentioned at the beginning of this post) is one of his best friends irl, as well as his on again/off again ex (according to him). anyways, there were posts that she had made that indicated to them not being exes and instead still together - or at the very least not platonic - which crushed me when i found out, because until that point i had no reason not to trust him. i told him about it though, and how it hurt me because my feelings were so deep for him at that point i felt that i loved him, and he told me they weren’t together. this isn’t really necessary for the liz stuff of this post, but it’s important for context for how hurt and on edge i was already feeling before things got worse.

we would still chat maybe a few times a week, but nothing like it used to be, and i was happy we would even chat at all, even though things felt so weird and different and off, and no matter what i did, i couldn’t fix it. as 2020 started going on, and this continued, his friendship with liz started making me feel extremely uncomfortable. knowing that he had the weird boundaries with his ex, plus whatever was going on with me and him, AND that he was in love with liz?? it was unsettling. i felt like i couldn’t compare, because it’s *liz gillies*, someone i obviously love and idolize and look up to. and she was up on a pedestal for him, even though he said that he never tried to treat liz differently than his other close friends just bc of who she was, but that wasn’t true. anything that she said or did, he agreed with 100%, and would defend it. when he and i would chat, and i would mention something about dynasty that bothered me, he would talk about what liz’s thoughts were on it and how she felt and that she was right to feel that way and it made me feel awful. this happened on multiple occasions throughout various topics, from dynasty to fandom stuff to liz’s friendships/relationships, etc. no matter what, to gil, liz was always right and he always had an explanation for anything that happened. the way he would describe liz and the thing he said about her made me see her in a completely different light - she was not the same liz that she presented herself as, at least in gil’s eyes. 

he would always talk about how amazing liz was to him and how she did so much for him, such as buying him gifts, supporting his art, etc. this was hurtful to hear because i was doing the exact same things for him, as well as our group of friends: we had been buying his art (not only the art prints but the ACTUAL original copies), sending him gifts or money for gifts, supporting him and his art on social media, as well as just being a genuine friend to him. he never appreciated or thanked us the way that he thanked liz; none of us ever compared to her, even though we were doing the exact same thing for him that he said liz was doing, as well. it made me feel like no matter what i did, or how supportive i was, i was never enough.

we also had a discord with gil, that involved him, me, and my friends sarah, hope, amanda, and dom. within this discord, it’s worth noting that gil was the only man there, and would talk about liz and his friendship with her there, unprompted. we never asked for info, he volunteered everything willingly, and we all kind of glossed over it at the time because we weren’t friends with him for liz or any of that.

(the screenshot gil linked in the gc is what “liz’s” private encrypted blog looks like on his dash. please note the edit post button in the bottom right of the screenshot.)

another important thing about his friendship with liz/being in love with her: he has this specific kink (which i don’t want to say what it is for privacy reasons) and he said that liz was engaging in this kink herself, and that he was jealous of liz’s bf/wishes he could engage in it with liz, etc. i wasn’t into this kink before talking to him but because i had liked him so much at the time, and i was slightly jealous that he wanted it with liz, i thought that i could indulge in it for him. it was something that i was not physically or mentally prepared for/able to make happen, and it really caused an impact on me, and he just...didn’t care. at all.

anyways: this stuff continues, then around summer 2020, my friend sarah reached out to him. she (and my friends, along with me) were starting to distrust the things gil was saying about liz, since it went completely against what liz would say herself. she would say she only plays the sims 3 on her computer - he would say she was a huge gamer and played the sims 4 on ps4, along with minecraft, uncharted, the last of us, horizon zero dawn, etc. he would say that liz and maddison brown (her dynasty co-star) played ACNH with him and quickly got to 5 stars - liz said in a zach sang interview that she didn’t play animal crossing. every time something didn’t add up, his excuse was that liz was lying for her privacy. she didn’t follow gil on any verified social media accounts in case “people harassed him” over being friends with her. so sarah texted him that she needed to talk to him about the liz stuff, because there was evidence it wasn’t true, and he denied all of it. he firmly stuck to his story, and sarah gave him multiple chances over several days to come clean and he wouldn’t. she asked for simple pieces of proof that he could give her, and he wouldn’t besides fake screenshots of her “private blog”:

 he told me afterwards that if it comes between his friendship with liz or sarah’s, he’s picking liz - end of story. his and sarah’s friendship was done after that because of his decision. he blamed sarah for “ruining” liz and maddison’s friendship because of her asking for proof, and made her out to be the bad one in that situation. he ended up deleting the discord gc after this happened, with all of his screenshots/”info” as liz as well (we got screenshots of things before he deleted it though, much more that’s shown in this post).

about a month later, my friend léa also confronted him about it. gil had told her some things about liz’s “reaction” to meeting léa in paris, and at the time, it had made the experience more special for her. once she realized it was all lies, though, it really hurt her - he altered that special experience for her and twisted it into something that wasn’t real. he had the same reaction to léa’s conversation as he did to sarah’s, and he refused to tell the truth. their friendship was done with after, as well, along with a few other people from the liz fandom. i was the only one who stayed friends with him after that, and that was because i was closest with him and still trying to see if i could fix things with him. i was still naively believing that he would treat me okay again, he would make me feel important instead of always a backup option, that he wanted me again. 

but of course that never happened. he continued to ignore me, talk to me less and less, and would subtweet me on his private account. after he stopped being friends with sarah and léa and everyone blocked him except for me, i was the only follower on his private account, as well as being the only person he followed there. gil, though, kept saying that liz had a “private twitter” where she would talk to him on his private account. he also said that he had “merged twitter accounts” into one, which was his private, which messed up his account and wouldn’t show who he was replying to, quote rts, or that he was following them, which - if you have a twitter, you KNOW none of that can actually happen. but it was his excuse to constantly subtweet me and my friends for not believing him, to maintain his story, AND to have convos with “liz” on there that only i could see, where he made it sound like he was talking shit about me to her. it was extremely manipulative and served no purpose except to fuck with me, because he knew that i was the only one seeing those tweets and knew i was already struggling with not knowing what to believe. here’s some of them:

(you can very clearly see that i’m the only follower/following on that account, the number is at literally 1, and he STILL was acting like he was talking to someone else and that other people were following him.)

now comes jan. 2021!! WE GOT DEFINITE PROOF THAT IT WAS ALL LIES. from multiple people. one of liz’s close best friends (that gil included in his stories about her, saying that he met them) said that they don’t know who gil is, have never met him, and it’s best for us all to block him for our own safety. a co-worker of liz’s (who was, again, included in gil’s lies, that he hung out with them multiple times, played games with them online, and bought him gifts) said that not only had they never met gil, but EVERYTHING he said about them was untrue. they even listed the inaccuracies he would say about them, such as gil taking photos of them at things like the SWT, and they confirmed who actually took the photo. they said that “none of it is fucking true” and that gil is a narcissistic liar, and also encouraged us to block him for our own safety. 

i confronted gil myself about this a few weeks ago, and he continued to maintain his story that everyone’s lying to protect his privacy - even though we know for sure that wasn’t the case. he FINALLY owned up to it to me only once he saw i had proof and he was caught, and his reason for doing it was “he was bored”. he said he was sorry but he wasn’t truly apologetic - he either didn’t fully realize the scope of how hurtful his lies and manipulations were, or he just didn’t care, but the bottom line is that he always chose his fantasy of liz over his actual friends. around this time, once he knew he was caught, he also deactivated his private account, but brought it back a week or so later, with all of the subtweets and tweets about liz being deleted. all of the unverified accounts that were supposed to be liz - the tumblr account, psn, twitch, etc. - were all fake and made by him, so he could make it seem more real.

even if he WAS telling the truth about being friends with liz, he still would have completely violated her privacy by the amount of “secret” things he told all of us - from her kinks/sex life, to work life, to very personal things that he claims happened to her. knowing it’s all fake though, and he made up an entire personality and life for liz that doesn’t exist??? it’s insane.

now the part with kim - she’s known gil irl for over 10 years, and has tweeted about liz all the time, about how “good” liz is to her because of gil, and that she’s the one who encouraged him to talk to her. she brags about it constantly, even though none of it is real. she also tweeted multiple times throughout 2018-2019 about how gil “finally deserves to meet liz in person”, even though gil said he met liz irl back in 2017 or so - AND that she came to texas, where he lives, to meet him and his friends. when asked about her tweets, he said that kim’s account was “messed up” and her tweets weren’t “tweeted at the right time”. one of my friends reached out to tell her and show her the proof of gil lying, because gil has been lying to her and other people irl too, and instead she mocked us, belittled us, and chose not to believe a group of women coming to her about a 30 year old (!!) man manipulating us. gil said that kim was “aware of it all being a lie for years now” to me, but i think that was another lie, that he’s STILL lying to her about it. if not, then that means that kim was also lying for many years about knowing liz too, and used it to make us all the butt of her joke, so. so much for her being an “empath” and wanting to help people but anyways!!

the last screenshot is of her subtweeting us and implying that everyone involved with liz is lying for her and gil’s privacy, even though we have proof that that simply isn’t true.

i’m sorry for how long this is, but i need people to understand how serious this is. he’s been lying for 5 YEARS now about knowing liz - about her “accidentally sending nudes” to him, that gil is one of her best friends and he would’ve been at her wedding, that she’s a huge gamer who plays with him - all of it. it’s all lies. he created a fantasy version of liz that doesn’t exist, and incorporated into his real life, his friendships both online and off, and made it his entire personality. he’s not sorry about what he’s done - as i’m writing this, he’s still on tumblr, talking in the tags to “liz” again, because he’d rather uphold his fantasy life where he’s best friends with liz when in reality, she has no idea he even exists. and if she did, i’m certain that she would be disgusted with what he’s done. he lied about her, oversexualized her, used his kinks on her which was brought onto me - someone he knew that was vulnerable and had feelings for him, manipulated people into trying to believe his lies, gaslit people to make them unable to tell what was true and what was fake, and had absolutely zero respect for any of us. he even listened to me cry to him on the phone MULTIPLE times about how insecure and worthless i felt to him compared to liz, and he didn’t do ANYTHING about it. he sat there and listened to me cry, knowing he could own up to his lie, and he chose not to. he’s not sorry about what he’s done, and he’s going to continue to spread his lies. please block him. i can’t express how much he’s hurt me, the therapy that i need to have because of him, how much he’s hurt my friends and how little he respects women in general tbh. he always tried to come off as “one of the good guys” but now i know he’s harmful and not to be trusted. he even tried to separate me from my friends, and make it seem like they’re the ones making this situation even harder for him. i’ve tried so, so many times to get through to him, waiting to see if he’d change or show some remorse or anything, but after over a year of this i don’t think he will, and it genuinely hurts me to know that. BLOCK HIM.

[iamanartichoke]

I completely agree with your post about Tom. People’s entitlement over their favourite celebrities goes to far. And tbh I really hate when fans act like they know for sure how he feels and what he’s thinking based on very ambiguous “evidence”. This is usually done so people can align Tom’s views with their own which requires most of the time someone else to be villanised. What I mean is that fans have no actual proof that the writers, producers and director of Loki are bad people and that Tom is unhappy with the directions the show took. There is usually nothing to be inferred about who these people are beyond their merits as professionals. But fans present their assumptions as facts anyway and that has evolved into actual harassment of the production team. All the while piggybacking on this idea that Tom thinks exactly what like them. And I am saying this as someone who hated TR and thinks Loki was deliberately made weaker/less important so Thor could shine more. And someone who hates pretty much all of Mike Waldron’s previous work on Rick and Morty. But is still feels very presumptuous to act like these people deliberate compromised the their own work because they hate Loki and his fans. And that they are filled with every prejudice know to man. And it’s also very demeaning to victimise Tom in the process. Of course some of the people involved suck but most of the time these assumptions have no basis whatsoever. And there is also an over-identification going on between some fans and Tom which isn’t healthy for anybody.

Sorry it took me several days to get to this, anon. It took me a minute to get my thoughts in order. But in a nutshell, yeah, I agree with a lot of the things you pointed out here - especially with fans acting like they know for a fact what he's thinking or feeling.

Under the cut for length and a bit of wank and disagreement w/ the "Marvel hates Loki" discourse so please skip if you don't want to see it.

A lot of the Loki series wank is rooted in whether or not Tom actually likes the series and significantly contributed to it, or if he's just saying what he has to say for publicity and his ideas and contributions were largely ignored. None of us will ever know for sure, bc none of us are Tom and none of us were directly involved in the series, so it's moot speculation, really. But it seems to basically come down to people trying to reconcile their feelings about the show with their feelings about Tom.

I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with believing that Tom's hands were tied to an extent and/or he just says things that he has to for promotion, but I also don't think that it should be treated as fact and then used as, like, ammunition against other people working on the show. I personally have not seen anyone I know or am friendly with taking their complaints to the level of harassment of actual people irl (that seems to be more of a twitter thing, as far as I can tell, and imo comes from an entirely different place than just hating the show [I think there's an inherent meanness in people whose instincts are to harass and bully bc they want to actively make others feel like shit]) but I do see it posted as fact, time and time again, that the showrunners had a personal vendetta against Loki and were intent on making the series as bad as possible, and that Tom was helpless to do anything about it.

Which I get, in a way, bc I personally believe that the Russos had, if not a vendetta, an active dislike of Loki and a vested interest in getting him "out of the way" in a manner that would make him look pathetic in IW - but, I certainly can't say that's the case for sure, and I also think it's a little different bc Tom's contractual obligations for his film appearances were likely very different than what he (and/or his people) negotiated for the show.

That's neither here nor there but my point is, I can understand where the theories come from but I just don't think that's the case here, and seeing it so often makes me feel kinda uncomfortable (for a lot of reasons but also) bc, imo, it undermines Tom's autonomy for fans to act as if he's little more than a puppet on a string, just saying whatever he has to say to please the powers that be. Like, yes, there are legally binding contracts that probably limit how candid he can be, and we all know that he sugarcoats things and never says anything bad about anyone, which can make him seem like a bit of an "unreliable narrator" when he gushes about the show -

- but, he's also a big name celeb (I mean, the studio has always banked on his name being attached to the project bc he's the one who would draw in the most viewers). He's got clout (is that the right word?) to back him up - they wanted him, specifically, to play Loki in this series. Without Tom, there's no show. So why would they want to alienate him, silence him, or dismiss him when he comes to the table and says "here are my ideas"?

My point is, it's unfair and, yes, demeaning to act as if Tom is this voiceless, powerless victim who has no choice but to act in a series he hated that was purposefully trying to destroy his character, and then to turn around and mindlessly sing its praises while promoting it.

I think that the truth is somewhere in the middle - Tom's creative control was likely limited bc he wasn't the director and wasn't the showrunner or head writer, and no one person is ever completely in control when it comes to the end result that we, the audience, end up seeing on the screen anyway. He may not have been entirely happy with every writing or directing choice that was made. But it's also very unlikely that he had no say at all or that any input he had was dismissed (or 95% of it, as it were); again, the series is banking on his name being the draw and he has the advantage of being an authority on Loki while also being intelligent and eloquent enough to convey his perspective on the character. I think that the real issue is that Tom's current perspective and/or interpretation of Loki no longer aligns with his interpretation of OG Loki from 2011-13. Which is, admittedly, a very hard pill to swallow.

Anyway, this may have veered off in another direction and idek if you wanted this answered or to have a conversation or maybe you were just venting - but, here we are.

To make it less about Loki specifically and more about Tom in general, though, yeah, ultimately I just wish his fans wouldn't feel so entitled toward him and his opinions, or his career choices, or his love life, or his clothes. I was browsing one of the Tom ask blogs (or maybe it was a Zawe one, I don't remember now) the other day and I find it really creepy, for lack of a better word, at how invested people are in Tom's, like, day-to-day whereabouts. Someone saw him at a restaurant in NYC - I wonder if he's still there today? Where's he staying? Is he there as a tourist or for work reasons? Who could he be meeting with in New York? A producer? Another play? Will he host SNL? Is Zawe still with him or did she go back to London? etc etc like, it really goes back to my original point in my original post which is, basically, who caaaaaaaares, why are you investing so much of your day trying to figure out what Tom is doing with his?

Now I'm just venting, but yeah ... shit's weird.