#incorrect john walker

[incorrectmarvels]

Bucky: Alright. Time for a new team bonding exercise. We’re going to put everything we love into this box.

Yelena: Can I put Bob in the box?

Bucky: No.

Ava: Can I put Bob in the box?

Bucky: No.

Alexei: Can I put Bob in the box?

Bucky: No.

Walker: Can I—

Bucky: No one can put Bob in the box!

[gay-dorito-dust]

Yelena: do you like John?

You: what? no! That’s fucking disgusting what makes you think that?

Yelena: you take the piss out of him all the time.

You: so does everyone else.

Ava: you do it more than us though.

You: sure I take the piss out of him but that doesn’t mean I like him, he’s like a brother to me, so of course I’m going to take the piss.

John: first of all, gross, second of all as much as I hate to agree with (name) but yeah I agree with them, besides they’re taken.

You: yeah I’m taken!

Yelena: by who?

You: him *points to Bob who’s reading in his books nook*

Bob: *not looking up from his book* try not to kill John sweetie, we kinda need him…for what reason I’m still not sure yet.

John: prick.

You: I knock your ass out and bend your shield into a pretzel.

John: yeah? Your boyfriend says otherwise-

You: *starts choking him out* he said not to kill you, nothing about not choking you out if I find you more annoying than usual.

John: what a bullshit technically.

[johnwalkerwaow]

*in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff*

John: oh my god, Bucky! Backwards!

Bucky: really, Walker? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a fun thing to do

[yelenaenthusiast]

mansplain girlboss mallgoth gaybait manwhore

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Walker: Alright, everyone, we meet in the dining room at twenty-one hundred hours!

Bob: [Raises hand]

Walker: Nine o’clock.

Bob: [Lowers hand]

[lives-in-midgard]

Y/N: Bye Bob!

Y/N: Bye Bucky!

Y/N: Bye Yelena!

Y/N: Bye John!

Y/N: Bye Ava!

Y/N: Bye Alexei!

Y/N: Bye Bob!

John: You said 'Bye Bob' twice.

Y/N: I really like Bob.

[hetaczechia]

Yelena, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Ava, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

John: What the fuck are you two doing?

Yelena: Playing systemic oppression.

[starsanchor]

Ava: *Gently taps table*

John: *Taps back*

Bob: What are they doing?

Yelena: Morse code.

Ava: *Aggressively taps table*

John: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

[lukas-dusk]

Bucky : I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

The thunderbolt : Awwww-

Bucky : And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

The thunderbolt : Oh.

[youbutstupid]

*Thunderbolts fighting a random enemy*

Enemy: *takes off Bucky’s arm again*

Thunderbolts:….

Yelena: that is so uncool

Ava: I swear to god the next person to take off that fucking arm is gonna-

Enemy: ??

John: yeah how would you like it if I just took off your leg in return?

Alexei: in what world is it okay for us to take off each other’s limbs?

Ava: apologise.

Enemy: what….

Alexei: fight will not resume without an apology for the disrespect

Enemy: *awkwardly handing the arm over* sorry….

Bucky: ….yeah no it’s cool

*Fight resumes*

[trickarrows-bishop]

[incorrectmarvels]

Alexei: Rules were made to be broken.

Walker: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Yelena: Uh, piñatas.

Ava: Glow sticks.

Bucky: Karate boards.

Bob: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Alexei: Rules.

Walker: …

[gay-dorito-dust]

Reader: *kisses Voids forehead*

Live team reaction:

Alexei: abolufrly not.

You: you’re not my dad.

Alexei: well I am now your dad, and you’re not dating him *points to void*

You: I so fucking am!

Ava: you’re not. Don’t kiss the void!

Yelena: don’t do it.

John: don’t kiss the-

You:*kisses the void, fully on the lips*

Alexei: *gasps* they kissed the void!

You: *giddy as fuck* I kissed the void!

[chaxan08]

Avengers: We listen and we don't judge.

Thunderbolts: We listen and we judge the fuck out of you.

[yelenaenthusiast]

another one thank you

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Police: You are under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Bucky: Fuck's sake.

Bucky:

Bucky: Wait, did you say three?

Police: Yes, three.

Ava: Oh my god.

Yelena: BOB FUCKING FELL OFF -