#is this the end of a love that never occurred

[demonic0angel]

Celestial Bodies AU (5/?)

(Part one, part two, part three, part four. Also on AO3)

Robin sighed as he sat in the passenger seat beside Batman. Another night of patrol had ended semi-peacefully with thankfully no injuries, but Batman still didn't look happy. He was still in the process of accepting Robin as his partner again, and it tired him out trying to mediate and smooth sharp edges. Everything was just exhausting.

The both of them began turning into the cave, where Nightwing was already standing next to the computers when both Batman and Robin entered. He seemed to have just finished his own patrol, but was still in his uniform.

Robin paused when he saw him.

He looked angry.

That was what usually happened between Nightwing and Batman. The two of them fought like dogs and cats over Robin’s presence and training. When one suggested one thing, the other would argue like their lives depended on it.

(In a way, it did. Robin’s life depended on it.

… or at least, Robin’s life had depended on it.)

Sometimes, he understood why Nightwing was so angry.

If he was disobedient, he could get injured. He didn’t know how many times Nightwing had pushed that idea into his head.

(And although Tim wished he was, he was not Jason. That Robin would never come back, no matter how much Batman tried to pretend he did.)

Both Batman and Robin exited the car and Robin went straight towards Nightwing.

“Hey,” Nightwing called out, his grimace switching out to a small smile, just like a performer would, “how was patrol?”

“It’s been an easy night tonight,” Robin said, peeling off his mask to give Nightwing a smile. “How was yours?”

Nightwing gave a singular nod and then a shrug.

So probably nothing worth noting either.

Batman was silent, taking off his gloves and cape on the other side of the cave.

Robin studied Nightwing’s face.

He was a pretty boy through and through, with long hair in a mullet style and a light smile on his face that made him shine like the sun. To Robin, Nightwing was his goal and his idol. He wanted more than anything to show him that his decision to allow and help him become Robin was not a mistake.

He looked right back at Robin, his eyes considering.

“Nightwing,” Robin began carefully, “did you want to tell me something?”

There was a beat of silence.

Nightwing paused. Then he nodded slowly, “Actually, yes. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to meet the cluster.”

Robin's eyes widened.

The Phantom Cluster was an important part of the Justice League’s history and the survival of the planet. Every time something apocalyptic was about to occur, the King of the cluster would warn the Justice League. On occasion, they would also communicate with their hosts through dreams and visions, and prevent even more disasters.

The hosts of the Phantom clusters were only Robins. No matter how much any other hero tried to appeal to them, the stars only favored the wards under Batman.

Though they also seemed to like the younger heroes a lot, having no problem helping them. Tim had heard that Dick’s star had given his personal approval for Starfire and had actually watched out for the Teen Titans before.

The cluster had always loved the Robins.

(Nightwing had called his bonded star, "mine," and his star had responded back in kind. Jason's nickname for his own star was supposedly "Princess." She had called him "dearest" and from what Nightwing would say, their bond was very strong.

It made something inside of Tim ache.)

Essentially, this was possibly an invitation for Tim to get his own star, if it was true that the cluster bonded to all Robins.

Batman, however, whipped his head around and snarled. “Absolutely not! You are forbidden from seeing the cluster!”

Nightwing’s attitude immediately changed as well. He rolled his eyes and snapped, “Who are you to decide that? You don’t have a damn leg to stand on!”

Robin eyed him. He suddenly felt his heart twinge at the thought that it was his fault that he made them start arguing again. The two of them continued arguing and it wasn’t until Alfred came down into the cave that he spoke up.

“Okay, okay. It was just a suggestion. All of the previous Robins met the cluster, so what's the big deal?" He said, trying to defuse the situation.

“Yes,” Batman spat, “all of the previous Robins met the cluster, and one of them died.”

Robin winced.

“Don’t you dare blame them for Jason,” Nightwing snarled. “If I can’t blame you, you can’t blame them either. They lost a sibling too!”

Robin did not speak again as he thought about the situation.

He wanted to meet them. All of the files on the Batcomputer about the Phantom Cluster had him locked out. All he knew was that it was a cluster made of sentient stars and planets and two of them had chosen an individual Robin to keep as a “host”. When Jason had died, his star had died with him. Everything else were anecdotes from Dick, who clearly loved them and his star very much.

But in order to be Robin, he also needed to meet them. The cluster made deals with all of the previous Robins. Now that there was a new one, would things be easier if he also became a host with a star?

(And maybe, just maybe, Bruce will accept him if he had a star of his own too.)

Robin started to speak again, "I—"

“No. That cluster has been nothing but trouble. Robin, I forbid you to go!” Bruce roared.

Robin gulped and shivered. The pure rage in Batman’s tone suddenly made him worried for what he was going to do. Nightwing wrapped a protective arm around him and pulled him back.

“The Cluster has never hurt a Robin before.”

“He. Will. Not. Be going,” Batman growled.

Alfred coughed into a fist and everyone shut up and looked at him. Robin tried not to move but he couldn’t help but try to press closer to Nightwing.

"Master Bruce," Alfred said sternly, "may I speak with you?"

Bruce wilted and then trudged after the true patriarch of the Wayne family.

It was almost funny, but Robin was still tense as Nightwing glared at the retreating back of their mentor and guardian. Alfred turned slightly to wink at him, and he relaxed with a faint smile.

Robin stared at Nightwing.

"... Nightwing?" He asked carefully.

Nightwing softened further as he looked at him. "Yes, Tim?"

"... it's okay if I don't go, right?"

Nightwing's eyebrows immediately went up to his hairline. It was like he couldn't believe that he would not want to go see the cluster.

Robin grimaced. He corrected himself hurriedly, "I mean— I want to go, but—"

"Tim, it's okay. If you don't want to go, it's fine. But to be honest, I'd rather have you go at least once. The cluster... they've always been allies of us Robins. I'd like you to meet my star, at least."

Us Robins. That thought made Robin pause.

Nightwing always tried to be accommodating and gentle with him. The thought of disappointing him gave him determination.

Robin shook his head and said in a firm tone, "No, I want to go."

Nightwing grinned. "Let's go now, then."

Robin glanced back at where Alfred and Batman had left.

"Don't worry about him. I'll take care of it, okay? I'll say that I forced you or something. B is just a paranoid asshole."

Robin's lips twitched but he nodded quickly and followed Nightwing. The two of them entered the teleportation tube that was installed in the cave and then away they went.

When they landed in the space station, Nightwing immediately locked the doors so nobody would enter.

Robin eyed him. Nightwing gave an innocent smile back and said, "It's just in case he decides to come after us."

Robin didn't say a word as Nightwing lead them through the metal halls before they finally ended up in the main room, where windows covered all of the walls, revealing a beautiful starry world outside of the space shuttle.

Robin gasped as he stared out the window at the close stars and planets. They were so close that Robin could almost see the surface of each star move and shift. Thankfully, the tinted windows allowed them to look directly at them.

"Hello, my star," Nightwing breathed and the stars remained silent. Nightwing didn't seem angry, just sad as he pressed his forehead and left hand to the glass, sighing.

Beyond the glass, the stars inched around an empty space, where the Jason's star used to stay.

Robin bit his lip again.

Jason's death had not only hurt Batman and Gotham, but also the heavens.

He might not have known it, but he was so very loved.

Nightwing exhaled again and then stood up straight. He looked at Robin with a thin smile and beckoned him forward.

"Come on. They don't bite."

Robin came forward, eyes darting towards the stars with silent awe and reverence. The stars and planets glittered and shone with a brilliance that matched the Sun, and Robin couldn't help but stare at the sentient celestial objects that floated in the sky.

"They're beautiful, right?" Nightwing said, and it startled him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah. They are," he agreed, because if he said otherwise, it would've been a lie.

It was awe-inspiring (and a little bit terrifying) to see somethings so big and large that were benevolent enough to help them.

It made Robin feel smaller than ever.

Nightwing hummed.

The communicator crackled then, taking away the sound of ocean waves and faint TV static.

Nightwing whipped his head around and Robin followed, staring between the communicator and the window, where the stars lied in silence.

"Hello," a thousand voices called and a shiver ran down Robin's spine.

Like the chorus of angels, a symphony of voices, a choir of sirens, the voices were soft and gentle.

They sounded sad. Tired. Wane.

Robin felt like it was odd that he understood what they were feeling, but he said nothing as he looked at Nightwing's face, which was tinged with the same exhaustion in the stars' tones.

"Hello. This is..." Nightwing gestured to him, "Robin. I'd like to introduce you to him."

The sound of ocean waves again. Robin felt his stomach swoop and drop.

Had they rejected him?

He knew he wasn't Jason, but he had to do it. In order for Batman to be the best hero that he could be for Gotham's sake, he needed a Robin.

Nightwing placed a hand on his shoulder and Robin tried to breathe past the panic.

The voices came back and said, ".... we know."

A different voice differentiated itself from the rest. It was distinctly masculine and adult-sounding, unlike the androgynous and childish voices of the others.

"My Nightwing," the voice called softly and Nightwing beamed.

"My star," he returned the call with a nod and a smile.

Nightwing's star continued, "Our little sister wants to make a deal with Robin. If he wants."

Robin startled. "Who?"

Hope filled inside of him. He wasn’t rejected after all!

Nightwing chuckled. "The little sister of the cluster is the protostar. That one, right there."

He pointed outside, towards a small, bow-tie shaped cloud of dust and gas, all of it converging into one center. She spun and consumed nebula swiftly, but did not move otherwise.

"That's the little sister?" Robin tilted his head.

She was oddly... vulnerable. With the way the other stars and planets circled the point of their cluster, and the way they directed the nebula towards her, they were clearly very protective of her.

"Yep," Nightwing said, but he was quickly interrupted.

There was a crackle from the communicator and then an angry hum like that of a buzzing hornet. Robin flinched and looked at Nightwing, who suddenly burst out laughing.

"My star! Please, Robin isn't going to take her away!"

Another angry hum, though less loud and more indignant.

Robin blinked and then relaxed. His lips twitched and he asked, "Is your star jealous that I'm looking at her?"

"He's the most jealous star I know," Nightwing said, in a loud and teasing tone that was clearly meant to be heard by the stars. "Such a sis-con."

Robin snorted, suddenly feeling a little better. He looked at Nightwing, who now looked more relaxed and encouraging. "You can talk to them," he said. "I promise, they're nice."

Robin nodded firmly and stepped up the communicator. "Uhm. Hello," he said, then winced from the awkwardness.

Silence again, and then, a soft, "Hello, Robin."

The word “Robin” was said with so much unspoken affection that it made him flustered. He stuttered then, but as Nightwing looked at him encouragingly, he continued.

Robin took a deep breath and said slowly, "I'd like to make a deal with the protostar, if that's okay. I can't promise that I'll be a good host, but I promise that I'll be the best host I can be. I'll take care of her and Batman too."

Silence.

Robin glanced back at Nightwing, who was grinning widely and giving an enthusiastic double thumbs-up.

Robin turned back as the communicator crackled once more and then the stars said, "Okay."

One voice in particular, softer than the others and lighter, spoke up then. "Let's make a deal, Robin."

She sounded tired, like she was struggling to stay awake and Robin felt his tone softening as he spoke to her, "Okay. I'll make a deal with you. We'll protect each other, okay?"

The protostar said softly, "I'll protect you."

Robin knew that she purposefully did not mention how he would protect her. He knew it, and he felt like he should've said something to make it fair, but the reassurance that she would be there for him suddenly made him breathless. He felt like he was robbed of all oxygen as he stared at the sky and suddenly understood why Nightwing was so fiercely and deeply protective of the cluster, even against Bruce.

They were kind. So very kind despite being cursed children who had become stars.

"Okay," he said slowly, already feeling a deep affection for his star blooming in his chest, "okay."

He instinctively put his hand on the glass and a bright light, flashing and fast, shot out of the nebula cloud she was consuming and flew towards him. It struck the glass and hot warmth entered Robin's body and then into his side.

He paused, taking a deep breath to calm his heart from racing before he opened his tunic, already knowing where the fated mark was.

On his left side, around the area of his ribs, was a four pointed star, white and pastel yellows and blues slowly tattooing itself into his side.

He beamed. "Dick! Look!" He had accidentally called him by his civilian identity, but Nightwing didn't seem to care as he bound forward and then picked him up and twirled him around.

"You did it! You've got your own star!"

Robin beamed.

He was accepted as a Robin and got his very own star from the Phantom cluster!

He wished he could've heard them singing, like Nightwing used to talk about, or maybe made a deal with his star in happier circumstances, but this was nice too.

Nightwing was still cheering and celebrating, but Robin couldn't help but look out past the stars. His protostar spun in place a little, looking a little more cheerful and he smiled.

"Thank you, Robin," she whispered and Robin grinned.

"No, thank you.... partner." That seemed like a good nickname for her.

A beat of silence from her and then she said, in a slightly more upbeat tone, "You too, partner!"

"Pfftt— you're like a couple of cowboys," Nightwing muffled his laugh.

Robin rolled his eyes and shoved him lightly. "Shut up, Dick. You're the one with the creepy, "my star" thing."

Nightwing gasped and put a hand to his chest dramatically.

"Y'know what? You're grounded! I won't take this slander anymore!"

Robin laughed and as the tension bled out from previous days of mourning and grief, he almost wanted to believe that things would be okay again.

He looked out the sky, as Nightwing put him in a headlock, and watched the stars begin to move slowly, as if suddenly gaining the energy to do so.

He watched that empty hole in space be avoided and he thought of Jason again.

No matter what would happen, he would make him and the stars proud.

————

Bruce seemed resigned when he came back bonded. He didn't say anything and just went to his room. Usually, Tim would've been worried, but he wasn't too concerned since he was so excited about having a star for himself.

Dick gave him the codes to unlock the files on the Phantom Cluster and Tim dove right in without hesitation.

He researched everything he could about the cluster, from what they told the Justice League, from Dick's own secret files that he sent over into his computer, from astronomy websites, and he even hacked into NASA's database on stars and astronomical bodies.

Tim finally found another purpose besides being Robin.

He was his star's host.

Being a host for a star belonging to the Phantom Cluster meant many things. For one, their condition reflected on their stars.

If Robin was whole and healthy, so would his star. If he was sick or tired, it would show on his star too.

For another, being a host meant being protected and watched over by the stars.

Nightwing had mentioned before that sometimes, the stars gave them powers. Robin had a hypothesis that with each host being bonded to a star, the powers that they were able to gain grew stronger or increased, since he discovered new abilities that were not recorded since he was bonded to his own star.

A lot of it were minuscule, barely able to make a difference unless it was a split second thing, when Robin miraculously needed just a little push to solve a mystery, fight crime, evade a dangerous situation, or defeat a bad guy.

Nightwing had mentioned before that he had never had a bad landing after being bonded, and that he had a small immunity to heat and fire. He had also said that sometimes, bullets would mysteriously be unable to hit him, but this was a hit-or-miss thing (quite literally) and didn't always happen, so Robin still had to be able to dodge well.

In the reports, the previous Robin mentioned how he would occasionally get brief, sporadic dreams of the future. Every once in a while, he would sleepwalk, and as if possessed, wake up with a new plan, an unknown secret, or an important clue in the morning. After the previous Robin had gotten his star, Nightwing had supposedly gained the same ability on the occasion, and even Robin discovered that ability, which proved his hypothesis.

Robin himself, had odd bouts of good luck, often causing him to end fights or solve cases even faster than Batman could. At other times, the good luck manifested in things like finding an unusual number of heads-facing pennies that were printed in 1943, or finding lost items whenever he lost them. When Robin fell asleep, nightmares were scarce and he would sometimes feel a weight against his side, as if he was resting next to someone with their head on his shoulder.

(When he woke up, he would feel refreshed, but with a slightly melancholy and loneliness. He wondered if it was from his star.)

Robin wanted to be depended on. He wanted to be important and loved and cared for, and his star was everything he wanted.

For her, he wanted to improve.

He trained under several masters, he made enemies and friends, he joined other hero teams, and he even created his own team, the Young Justice. Bruce’s team grew too, with Cass and Stephanie and others joining them in order to help Gotham City.

Every day, he grew older and his star grew alongside him, an eternal beacon.

She spun and whirled like a hurricane, absorbing and eating nebula and growing stronger, almost converging into a sphere as if she was about to begin her transformation into a star.

And then everything changed when Jason's star came back.

————

Both he and Dick had been in the space shuttle when she had reappeared.

The black mass that used to be the quasar still remained, still and quiet, but the other stars seemed to have gain energy from her silent presence. They spun around her happily, as she loomed over them with her inky presence, bending light around her like a lightless black hole.

With her arrival, it meant that Jason had come back.

And with Jason’s return, so did the Batman’s interest in the stars.

“How do they know?” He growled, as they poured over information and audio logs of the interviews of the stars. “How do they know what happens? Did they know that Jason would die and come back?”

Nightwing glared at him, but said tersely, “I don’t know. From what we know, their ability to read the future comes from Clockwork. He visits them and tells them information.”

Robin lifted his eyes up from the paper, which had a picture of his star on it.

“We’ve never seen Clockwork before, have we? We don’t know much about him either.”

“He seems to be an authority figure or warden for the cluster. They speak highly of him, but are purposefully vague,” Nightwing mused, rubbing his chin in thought. “I think I remember my star mentioning once that Clockwork helped him with his past.”

“So… he’s probably also a parental figure,” Robin said, and Nightwing nodded thoughtfully.

Batman looked exhausted, his cowl pulled down off of his head as he bent over the table with an almost inaudible creak of his back and stared intensely at the papers.

Jason’s star had come back, but there were no traces of Jason except an empty grave. They had all been too late when arriving at his grave, only to be met with a coffin that had been broken in from the inside. Whatever had happened, Jason had dug himself out on his own.

Robin knew that it killed Nightwing and Batman inside to imagine the boy they considered as family carving himself out of his own coffin.

The two of them were almost inconsolable at first, but they quickly gathered themselves up again and started investigating.

The cluster was surprisingly unhelpful, not even answering Nightwing when he asked questions about Jason. The only thing his star had said was, “Be patient.”

It was such a hauntingly simple and frustrating answer, exactly like what one would expect coming from an all-powerful and all-knowing being that lived for an unknown amount of years stuck with a child’s mind. Nightwing and Robin did not begrudge them, knowing that they were also protecting the quasar's secrets and bond with the other Robin, but Batman could not say the same.

Of course, they didn’t let that hold them down.

For the first time, Robin had been able to hear the song of the stars.

It was gorgeous. It was still soft, like waking up from a deep sleep, and sometimes it cut off like a bad connection, but Nightwing had looked relieved at the sound of it.

“There’s still another voice missing,” Nightwing had said sadly, “Jason’s quasar— her voice isn’t in the song.”

It already sounded so nice, with the melodic voices of the stars and planets and Dick’s star singing along, so if the loss of one voice was making it incomplete, just how beautiful was the sound when they were all together?

For many reasons, Robin wanted to find Jason.

He was reluctant to continue being Robin for awhile, but Nightwing convinced him to stay.

Once Jason was back, he would give back the suit.

“There’s something we’re missing,” Batman said slowly. “We need to review the facts.”

Nightwing nodded and looked at Robin encouragingly.

Robin began, “Okay. So on XX, XX of this year, we discovered that Jason Todd was revived or in some capacity, alive due to his star returning. He… dug his way out of the coffin himself, but has disappeared for now. The cluster seems to be aware of his movements and location, but is not planning to tell us where or why. The question is, how did Jason come back to life? Where is he, and if he's not in Gotham, did someone take him?”

Nightwing sighed. “We don’t have a lot of information. It’s just a whole bunch of what-ifs and wheres.”

Batman was silent, brooding.

Robin thought some more and then asked, slowly, “Have we reviewed the footage of the cluster before? What if… what if Jason’s star didn’t come back at the time that we thought?”

Nightwing blinked. “What do you mean?”

Batman, however, nodded suddenly. “I think I see what you’re saying. We should review the footage. Nightwing, maybe the time you noticed the star coming back isn’t accurate.”

“What! But I had been coming there every day!” Nightwing said, but then paused. His eyes went wide, and then rushed to the computer.

Batman patted Robin on the shoulder, making warmth ooze in his chest. Batman said with a cold, but vaguely grateful expression, “Good job on the new lead, Robin.”

Robin beamed.

They rewound the camera footage of the cluster which were all kept in the files, since Dick liked rewatching them.

And just as Robin suspected, it was true.

The empty space where the quasar had sat before her demise had not been as empty as Nightwing had thought. For at least a few days before her return as a black star, she had been very small and only noticeable in how light slightly bent around her tiny shape.

She had been shadowed and covered by her siblings until her final reveal and Jason’s ultimate return.

Nightwing covered his face. He seemed to be struggling to find the words on what to say.

Eventually, he said, strangled, “I should’ve looked closer. If I had known, we would’ve found Jason sooner!”

Batman sighed. “Don’t beat yourself up.” Both Robin and Nightwing looked at him with surprise. He sighed again and said, “I am… aware that I‘ve been upset and hostile of the Phantom Cluster. But ultimately, you are still bonded with them and they still offer you some semblance of protection. I am... also grateful that they gave us a chance to know that Jason is back. At least we know now that Jason had dug himself out a few days earlier.”

The three of them looked at each other.

Jason was going to be found and brought back to them. No matter what.

A few months later, almost 6 months after Jason's return, the silent mass that was Jason’s star suddenly bloomed into a protostar, larger than Robin’s. She was a ginormous, funneling top of blue and red nebula, quickly consuming the stellar remnants in the galaxy.

“… what does this mean?” Nightwing muttered as he stared at the footage of her new form. The other stars were cheerfully circling around their sibling again, their song now joined in by their returned sister. “Is he back for real? Was he not back before? Does this mean that he wasn't himself or something?"

Robin was silent, listening to the song. True to Nightwing’s words, the song was beautiful and ethereal.

It was a heaven’s choir, a siren’s song, a mother’s lullaby. It was beautiful in all sorts of ways. The sound was cold and sent shivers down his spine but oddly enough, he welcomed it.

“Do you think he’s… mad?” Robin asked. He felt strangely serene as he listened to the song of the stars.

“… hm?”

“Do you think Jason is mad that I’m Robin and that’s why he’s not coming home?”

Nightwing stared at him with such horror and disbelief that Robin quickly backtracked.

“It’s fine. He’s going to come home,” his tone was firm, hiding his inner insecurities. “The stars foretell it.”

Time passed and Jason’s star remained as a protostar, his own star often twirling around her in happy circles. Both sisters were cute to look at, especially because one was so big and the other was so small. The two of them spun cheerfully around each other, being fed nebula by their family, and Robin watched it all.

Of course, while the stars were in stasis, he was not.

He continued his duties as Robin, made secrets between only Nightwing and the stars, helped others and lived on, even when his mom was killed and his dad was paralyzed and in a coma. He could not prevent it because he had not known.

It was a cruel, cruel fact that the heavens did not care for civilian lives when they were lost.

(The stars did not care much for anyone but the Robins. It was a thought both flattering and terrifying.)

When his dad found out about him being Robin, he was forced to quit. He handed his uniform to Stephanie to keep safe for him, and then he was… normal again.

His protostar seemed unhappy with the decision, but thankfully not with him, because when he climbed onto the roof of the Drake manor to talk to her, she responded back just as eagerly as always. However, she had stopped moving, a sign of either displeasure, discomfort, or something from the future.

“Do I come back to being Robin?” He remembered whispering to her one night, and her answering twinkle made his heart swell.

He liked feeling important, but he also never truly wanted it. The pain and suffering that came from being a hero truthfully scared him. It was only the thought of Batman and Nightwing, as well as his star, that kept him from quitting all together when he first found out that Jason was back.

But he could admit to himself that he liked the feeling of flying through the air, beating bad guys, and saving people. He liked the feeling of recognition and attention.

He didn’t mind not being a hero for a little while. At least he knew that he would come back in the future.

Soon, Stephanie donned the Robin uniform, and at first, Tim could admit that he had been worried. She was reckless and foolhardy, but she was a good person with a keen eye for puzzles and problem-solving. He wanted her to succeed and in order to do so, she needed to meet the cluster.

It had been him who introduced her to her own celestial object and he was also the one who taught her about the Phantom Cluster and their abilities.

The both of them bonded over endearing and anthropomorphic astronomical bodies and Tim was the one who taught her to be Robin too, since Batman seemed insistent on kicking her down. It was difficult to make plans while Tim’s dad was also adamant on driving Stephanie away, but they made it work.

It was a peaceful night, as Tim snuck onto his roof and Stephanie quickly followed with a picnic blanket that was spread over his house shingles. It had been years since the both of them first met and then began working together in the hero scene, boosting each other up with their stars by their side. Now they were good friends after dating for a while and then Tim breaking up with her due to his change in status from a vigilante to civilian.

As they were chatting under the moon, with a tablet holding footage of their respective celestial objects, everything changed.

The song of the stars had cut off slowly, grinding to a halt and making both of them pause in their conversation.

“Uh. They just stopped singing. What does that mean?” Stephanie asked nervously.

Tim stared at the tablet and reached over to bring it closer. “… sometimes it means that there’s something we need to know or something is happening. I wonder what’s going on.”

He knew that Dick was also mostly likely noticing something was up as well.

Both Stephanie and Tim stared at the tablet in silence, tension building as nothing happened yet. The stars and planets slowed down and Tim’s star even stopped spinning, motionless.

Tim’s eyes were drawn to Jason’s quasar-turned-protostar.

There was another beat of silence, and then the camera’s feed turned to white with a sudden screech.

Both of them flinched from the loud scream and then watched a supernova consume the vision of the camera. It took a while before the brightness lowered and the shrieking of metal stopped ringing through their ears.

“Oh my gosh! Look!” Stephanie shook Tim’s shoulder, but it was unnecessary because he couldn’t take his eyes off of the screen.

Jason’s quasar had turned into a frighteningly enormous star. Almost 20 times the size of Dick’s star, Jason’s star had turned into a star that was so blue, it was white. She floated in space for a moment, before she then began a slow cycle around the cluster, carefully avoiding the planets so they would not burn in her luminosity. The rest of the cluster paused, as if taking in the sight of her before following suit and then…

Song burst from the feed again.

“Whoa,” Stephanie said, in a hushed whisper, “it’s beautiful.”

Dick had once described his and his star’s growth into adulthood with new identities. He had said that his star went supernova and transformed from a black hole to a giant star.

He had mentioned how the song had changed, with the addition of a fully mature voice of an adult star.

It happened the same way this time too.

Jason’s star had a light and delicate voice, distinctly feminine and quite high. She provided a soft harmony to the song alongside Dick’s star, with the both of their adult voices enriching the sound of the other stars, who were still children.

Stephanie gave another soft sound of awe.

Tim was more focused on what this meant.

It had been four years since his death. Now that his star had changed, it meant that Jason had also changed his identity, like how Robin became Nightwing. Whatever had happened, Jason had now grown up into an adult. He had come into a new identity in the four years he had been gone, and now he had found himself and alongside with it, his star.

But a question still remained.

Where was he?

————

Tim bopped his head to the music as he bent over his desk. It was another night of peace as he stayed in his room to do his school assignments, while his dad and Danna went on another date.

He was finishing up the last of his homework when he heard the door opening in the faint distance. He took a reflex glimpse outside the window, where he saw a cloudy sky, and then poked his head out of his room.

"Dad! Are you home?"

Silence.

Tim immediately tensed. He patted his pockets for weapons but found nothing. He inched back into his room and picked up the bat that was by his door. When he finally left his room again, he tried to go for nonchalant as he called out, "Dad! Did you bring home the wings I asked for?"

He carefully made his way to the foyer. But before he could turn around the corner and look at who had entered his home, he was knocked back by a fist.

He cried out as pain bloomed on his face. He squinted through the tears, silently wondering how they could hit so hard before he swung the bat. It was stopped with a hand, but Tim maneuvered his body and then lunged forward to kick the assailant back.

He darted backwards to get some distance and stared.

It was a muscular man, all clad in leather and black kevlar with a red helmet on his head.

Tim catalogued his appearance and could not figure out who this person was.

The only person with this kind of memo was the Red Hood, which was an alias that the Joker used, but that couldn’t be possible.

"Who are you?" He snapped. "What are you looking for?"

"What? I'm looking for a who," the man hissed, his voice coming through as electronic. "I'm looking for a Robin."

Tim's stomach dropped.

He said slowly, "I think you're looking in the wrong house. Robin isn't here."

"I heard you quit, Timothy Drake. I heard you quit being Robin and gave it to some other kid. Do you think it's that easy? Do you think it's that easy to leave being Robin behind?"

Oh crap.

Tim scrambled away as the man then lunged at him. He swung the bat again and as the man blocked with a fist, Tim lashed out with another kick. The man grabbed him by the ankle with the other hand and then threw him to the side.

Tim choked on his breath as his back hit the wall, knocking down some picture panes and shattering them on the floor. His back was already starting to ache, but he didn't have time to worry about that when the man struck again, punching him in the stomach.

Tim gagged on the bile rising up his throat before he attacked back with a jab to the throat. He then kicked the man twice in quick succession, making him grunt, and darted up on his feet, dodging a hit from the man's fist again.

"Who are you?!" Tim cried out, his blood freezing in his veins at the thought of Bruce and Dick's secret being known to others.

Would this man reveal their identities? Take Tim as a hostage? Use him to blackmail Bruce?

The man laughed mechanically. He reached behind his head and unlocked the helmet with a faint hiss of air. Then he dropped the helmet onto the floor and brushed his hair back with bright green eyes and a wild smirk full of teeth like he wanted to tear Tim apart.

Tim's eyes widened.

If the familiar face shape didn't key him in, it was the four pointed star on his cheek, unmistakeable and alight with bloody orange and turquoise, that told him just who had came into his house with the intent of attacking him.

"No..." he whispered in disbelief, scrambling backwards again as his breath came out quick and panicked.

Jason had come back?

Jason was back!

If he hadn't just been beaten by him with his fists, he probably would've been happy. Now he was just extremely confused and frightened.

"Oh yes," Jason purred. He was fully grown now, well muscled and clearly trained by someone other than Batman for the last four years. "You're in luck, Robin. You're the first one I saw after being back in this hell hole."

Tim was mentally making a list of the things he needed to do.

Finally, he replied slowly, "But why? Why did you see me first? And where were you?"

"I was dead, obviously," Jason scoffed. “And I came here to ask you a few questions.”

“Okay, cool,” Tim said nervously. “Did you need to punch me to ask me questions?”

Jason didn’t answer, but instead, swung to punch him again. Tim yelped and rolled to dodge. He was barely back on his feet before Jason grabbed his hair and pulled him down, kneeing him in the stomach.

Tim coughed but also took that moment while he was bent over to drop and kick out his legs, knocking Jason off his feet.

Jason fell and Tim jumped over him to get away. He flew down the stairs and barely reached the entryway when he was pounced onto by Jason, who felt like a damn elephant as he pinned him onto the floor with his body weight.

They wrestled but Tim was so out of Jason’s weight class that it wasn’t even funny. Tim could feel the panic within him rising as he struggled and tried to get away from the previous Robin, a once beacon of hope and light for Gotham.

“You have it so easy,” Jason hissed, as he started wrestling him to the ground. “A dad, money, a good home. You never had to dig through trash for scraps. You never had to take care of your dying mom while you were starving yourself. You never had to fight for your life while being tortured!”

Tim kicked Jason in the stomach, allowing just enough space for him to throw back his elbow to his chin. Jason made a faint noise of pain, and punched him once more, but before it could escalate, the most intense feeling of nausea struck Tim.

For a moment, he wondered if he was going to throw up over the previously dead Robin’s hands, but when Jason also paused and moved away from him with a gasp, he realized that both of them were struck with the same condition.

Tim blinked rapidly as the both of them stared at each other in thinly veiled confusion and distrust. Jason suspiciously stared at him, and then looked up out the window that was placed over the door. As Tim blinked away the stars in his eyes, he was beginning to realize that it was not just stars in his vision, but also stars in the sky.

The night was now clear, allowing them both to see a patch of sky with two distinctive lights.

Both Robins, old and new, stared at the rapidly twinkling lights in the distance. There were two flashes, blinking over and over, as if trying to get their attention.

The two sat there in silence. Then Jason looked down at his wrist, which held a watch that was now projecting the image of his star. She was spinning and bursting with solar flares like crazy, enough that Jason gave a disbelieving, almost angry laugh.

"Okay, jeez, I get it, Princess. You want me to keep your sister's fucking host alive."

Tim exhaled in relief, casting his eyes over to the night sky, which held his star in the distance.

Thank the stars that she helped him.

He didn’t want to know what would happen if her and her sister couldn’t get their attention.

He silently mouthed, "Thanks, partner."

The sky twinkled noticeably one last time before it stopped.

Tim jolted when Jason suddenly bent down and started taking off his shirt.

“Excuse me?!” He shrieked, feeling the bruises ache as Jason started undressing him. He struggled weakly, but Jason was still pulling apart his clothes.

“Shut up. Where’s the damn mark?”

Just to spare himself the indignity, Tim pulled his t-shirt to present his side and snapped, “Here.”

Jason stared at the four pointed star, colored with baby blue and butter yellow, for a beat and then stood up in a huff.

Tim glared at him. He loved the Robins and he loved Batman, but that didn’t mean he was just going to forgive him for almost killing him!

"Where are your medical supplies?" Jason asked, looking around his room.

Tim grimaced and said, "The kitchen."

“Where?”

He eyed him with distrust. Jason put his hands on his hips and waited.

“…. In the left cabinet next to the stove.”

Jason went off to look for it, probably, and Tim slowly sat up, rubbing his shoulder that had been knocked against several surfaces this night, while he lifted his eyes to the window again.

His star was still there, faint due to her distance from Earth, but she was still just barely bright enough that he could find her through Gotham’s smog.

Thank the heavens for her and her sister.

Jason came back with a stomp and the emergency medical kit in his hands. He sat down next to Tim and raised a hand, palm up.

"Hand."

Tim gave it to him.

Jason opened the kit and then began to inspect, clean, and wrap up his wounds. Even for his back, Tim was asked to take off his shirt and Jason applied bruise gel all over it. Tim was tense at first, but eventually, he just kind of melted underneath Jason's hands and closed his eyes as he was taken care of by the previous Robin.

Sometimes he would ask Tim questions.

“So what do you call your star?”

“Partner. She calls me partner back too.”

“Ha! You’re like cowboys.”

“You sound like Dick.”

“Like hell I do!”

But Jason didn’t hurt him again. Tim was full-on relaxing by the end of it.

When Jason was finished, Tim was lightly dozing from the warmth of the numbing creams and the fact that it was a late night on a school day. The fact that he hadn’t been hugged or touched in a while certainly aided his sleepy haze too. Jason snorted at the sight of him and said, "Aren't you too trusting? I just beat you up."

Tim grumbled as he opened his eyes and uncurled from his position. "You're an asshole, y'know that? What was all of that even for?"

Jason sighed and said, "I changed. And... I guess… sorry. I wasn't in a right state of mind when I came here."

Tim twisted to look at him. Looking at him closer, Jason's eyes were still green, though noticeably less bright.

The shade of green was so familiar that Tim stared for a long time before he suddenly blurted out, "The league. You were with the League of Assassins!"

Jason narrowed his eyes. "I was."

"Was it Talia? Did she revive you? What happened?"

Jason looked exasperated but he nodded with a deliberately careless shrug. "I died, crawled out of my grave like a zombie, and then she picked me up. I went with her to the League and she threw me into the Lazarus Pits before training me. Now I’m here again to take back what’s mine.”

“Robin?” Tim blurted again. “I’ll give it back to you. I was going to— but someone needed to be Robin and my dad made me quit so I gave it to a friend and she became Robin for a little while, but I don’t think she’ll mind if you get it back.”

“Breathe,” Jason deadpanned, eyeing him with an unidentifiable emotion. “And I don’t care for it anymore.”

“You sure? You definitely cared about it 20 minutes ago,” drawled Tim.

Jason glared at him and Tim narrowed his eyes at him right back.

Eventually, Jason rolled his eyes and looked away. “Well, I stopped caring.” He pointed at Tim demandingly. “I don’t give a fuck what happens next, but if you tell anyone I’m here, I’ll break your damn face!”

“But why?”

Tim could understand that Jason was angry. Whatever had happened in the League had changed him for the worse, but there was still that familiar, charismatic, and caring boy inside, evident by Tim's carefully bandaged wounds (despite being the one to inflict them, but whatever). He could see that Jason was feeling vengeful too, but he didn't want Jason to be estranged from Dick or Bruce.

"I have plans," Jason said with a sneer. "Plans for Gotham that can't have B and Dick interfering."

"... are you trying to get revenge?"

"So what if I am? I died. Better yet, I was murdered. It doesn't matter what you think, I'll do what I need to do and because you're the host of my star's sister, I'll let you go this one time."

Tim thought of Bruce's brooding and endless self-blame at Jason's death. He thought of Dick's almost desperate attempts in training Tim and his neverending grief from the loss of a brother and the loss of a possible future knowing him. He thought of Alfred's silent sorrow, his eyes full of fear when Tim used to suit up in the Batcave. He thought of that period of time where Batman brutalized every criminal he came across, even the petty ones, turning Gotham into a city of rage and pain.

".... They all mourned for you," Tim said, not really knowing what outcome he was looking for by saying this,"B and Dick mourned for you. It was so bad that I had to force them to make me Robin because Batman needed him. Batman needed you."

Jason stared at him, his eyes flickering between greenish hues before he looked away, eyebrows furrowed.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jason snorted coldly. “They clearly didn't care enough if the Joker is still alive. I’m going to stay here and I’m going to kill the Joker. No one else avenged me, so I’ll just have to do it myself.”

The Joker?

Tim's breath hitched as he froze so badly that even Jason paused and raised an eyebrow at him.

Tim stared at Jason with wide eyes.

He could not help but look down slightly, at the four pointed star that covered Jason’s cheek, a mark of the heavens that bound him to a star.

Jason snarled, “What?!”

Tim said slowly, “The… The Joker’s not alive.”

When Jason’s tense posture and aggressive stance slackened into shock, Tim had to continue and say, “He died a while ago.”

Jason grabbed him by the shoulders, fingers digging into his skin as he roared, “Who did it?!”

Tim pursed his lips.

Jason could probably keep a secret, right? He didn’t believe that he would go and tell anyone, especially because….

“Nightwing did. And I helped him hide the body.”

|||||||||||||||||||||||

Check out my CB!Jason art here

Tim and Dani are partners!! Hooray!

I'm sure you can guess who Steph ends up with, hm? She’ll get her own story, dw.

Tbh, I wanted this to be a 3+1 thing with all of the other Robins bc I thought it'd be short, but then it became longer than I expected, so I just... continued writing.... 😶 I think I got too excited again.

I'm trying to write in chronological order, but the history of the Batfam is so ridiculous that idk if I can do that, but if I don't do that, I'll get confused myself, y'know? Someone please help.

The scene where Jason beats the shit out of Tim apparently comes after he reveals his identity to Bruce… so I’m going to switch it for it to make sense. He was also supposed to choke Tim in this fic, but then it got too dark… so I changed that too :9

“How come none of them could figure out that he was with the League?” They knew he was revived in the coffin, so no one thought of the Lazarus pits bc they didn’t think he was basically a zombie (suspend your disbelief, please!). Also, more info on Jazz will be in the fic with Jason’s return.

Tim was originally supposed to go with Tucker, but then I thought about it and I changed it because 1) like Dick and Jason, his star is sort of the opposite of their personality, 2) I don’t see how they’ll encourage each other to grow, 3) a secret third thing

A deeper explanation of reason 2 is on AO3.

[starryeyedgazer]

In the song “September” by Earth, Wind, & Fire, the song famously opens with “Do you remember / The 21st night of September.” People therefore tend to play it on September 21st. However, the more appropriate day would be to play it any day *but* the 21st (specifically at some point in December, as the song says as much later on), although this is entirely beside the point.

We never fully know what happens on the 21st night of September beyond the singer either fell in love or realized/admitted to being in love.

There is also a notable song that references the 21st of September— the opening to Little Shop of Horrors. For those of you unfamiliar with the musical, Seymor, the protagonist, purchases a strange plant that ends up being carnivorous. This inciting event occurs on, you guessed it, the 21st of September. He then names the plant Audrey II, after a woman that he has a thing for that also works at the same flower shop as he. You could argue, then, that this is an admittance of love. Therefore, it can be reasoned that the event 21st night of September in the song “September” is the same event as in Little Shop of Horrors. In this essay I

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

You truly don’t believe that most women can genuinely love their husbands? Do you think the same is true in the inverse?

No, I believe that most women can fall in love, I just don't observe them worshiping the man they are with like a god for decades until death, the way a lot of men will worship a woman. There are some fairly simple evolutionary reasons for this, if you need me to go into them.

This particular difference between the sexes is, interestingly enough, one of the main reasons the attempts to make women heroes in modern films have failed so badly: the male hero has, for many thousands of years, always been a sacrificial role, in which he offers up his life on behalf of the tribe, which they traditionally reward after his death with honors and public gratitude. But in the western tradition we don't feel good thinking of women as sacrifices on behalf of men, and we can't sell that convincingly to the people.

In other words, if a male cowboy or astronaut or cop or fireman or whoever dies at the end of the film to save a woman and her children, we feel he has done good, and can leave the cinema oddly elated. Whereas, if a woman is beaten to death or torn apart or burned alive in order that a man she doesn't know gets to live, we don't feel that trade has been worth it, and we feel that film's a downer.

The feminist ideologues pushing for all these kick-ass action heroines misunderstand the 'hero' label as simply a nice shiny thing they want, because they see some men have it, but the thought of the women they are writing sacrificing anything never even occurs to them. So, instead of creating female counterparts to male heroes, they create extraordinarily selfish, belligerent and unlikeable Mary Sues, who simply beat up and kill men to get their way, and that is what is now being presented as a positive role model to young girls, just making the world worse one awful film at a time.

The root biological truth, that we all innately know but never openly acknowledge, is that males are disposable, and women are not, because women bear the children, and so must be protected more than men. Both men and women view women as more valuable than men, unless that man is supplying something extra and extraordinary to the tribe (or individual woman), and even then, that just brings his worth up to something approaching the level of care we have for women.

Another way of putting it: If King Charles III dies jumping on a bomb to save a mother walking by, we will think of him as a good dude. Whereas if Queen Elizabeth II had died leaping out of her carriage and jumping on a bomb to save the life of one of her footmen, we'd likely think of her as mentally ill, as it would be so outside of our hierarchy of values and expected behaviours.

Just some thoughts.

[mrs-kodzuken]

hard to desire ⨟ kenma k.

chapter four

soaked shy smith

❝'Cause, baby, you get me so

So soaked

This heat is gettin' to me

I want you all over me❞

previous chapter next chapter

After the advice that Keiji had given you, you backed off from the mean streak towards Kenma. You'd given it more thought and honestly hated how you would always act to him because of the way he treated you.

Plus, Akaashi seemed like a very nice guy who wouldn't lie to you.

As a truce, you had picked up Kenma's favorite coffee, remembering the order from heart at this point. Your class had unexpectedly ended early, and you felt like a saint, so why not? Maybe it was the month or the feeling of fall in the air, but you were feeling rather forgiving of Kenma and his past actions towards you.

Texting Kuroo you had asked if he wanted a little sweet treat too, to which he declined because he was hanging out with Bokuto this evening for some 'bro time' as he called it.

You sent back a thumbs and smiley face before ordering your own drink.

Not thinking much of you and Kenma being at the apartment alone, you hummed as you enjoyed the crisp air hitting your face when you walked home. You loved being able to walk everywhere because you get to experience the season in real time, and it saved you gas money.

Feeling much better towards Kenma, you felt like you could actually try again to be friends with him. The coffee sloshed in their brown cups as you unlocked the door. You hurried to take your shoes off by the door and set the coffee holder on the counter.

You had been sure Kenma was unquestionably home because his shoes were by the shoe rack when you entered the apartment. You'd be a good roommate to Kenma and go tell him that you got a sweet treat just for the fun of it.

No lamps or lights were turned on in the apartment, only the afternoon daylight streaming through the opened curtains in the living room and kitchen. Walking up the stairs to his room, you could only hope that he wouldn't be an asshole to you.

You stopped once you heard a strange noise, like a gargled cry or something of the sort. You paused, listening harder, hearing your own breathing and heartbeat, and you had heard it again.

Your brows furrowed together, what in the hell was going on in Kenma's room? You walked a few steps closer; his door was shut so you pressed your ear against the cold wood.

"F-Fuck," A groan came from inside the room. Your face flushed red so fast in realization of what was occurring just behind this door you were pressed against.

Kenma was masturbating.

You felt like you were protruding on something extremely intimate and wanted to leave but couldn't bring yourself to. You were indefinitely frozen there. The noises he made were so exotic and foreign to you, you had to have self-restraint to not whimper in need.

"God, uhg, you make me feel so... s-so good," Kenma moaned out, loudly at that, which sent a throb down to your core. He had no trouble being loud under the false promise that he was home alone.

Was he masturbating to the thought of someone? It made you breathe in deep as you fluttered your eyes, lost in a trance with the thought of him.

You never would have guessed that you would be here, outside of Kenma's door, trying to resist the temptation to touch yourself to the sensual moans and groans he let out.

A dirty thought overtook and soon you realized you were very slowly turning the knob to his door open. If you went slow enough and quiet enough, you would be able to catch a peek. God, you just needed to see how lewd his provoking face looked during this moment.

'Only one', you mentally cursed yourself.

You just had to see him, clenching your thighs together as he, luckily, didn't realize that his door had just opened the slightest bit. You gulped, peeking in on the seductive sight that laid before you.

Kenma was in the middle of his king-sized bed, the silky blood-red sheets making him look more mesmerizing. His head was thrown back against the pillows, his right hand pumping his red tipped cock, that was dripping with pre-cum, in careful motions. Whilst his left hand was holding something over his nose, his eyes were scrunched closed in pleasure.

You realized it was your panties that you swore the washing machine had eaten, not that you told Kuroo or Kenma that they went missing.

Your jaw slightly dropped, face beat red, heart beating extremely louder and a hand itching to touch yourself to the sight of him.

Kenma's black, ripped pants were pulled down to mid thigh. Had he gone somewhere? His outfit seems rather nice than what you've been used to seeing lately. His shirt was pulled up just above his mid stomach, which graciously shown his fucking hot abdomen.

His hand motions slightly went a bit faster, the black rings on his left hand burned into your mind, how they were clutching your panties.

And God, wasn't his cock a sight to see. You hadn't expected Kenma to be so big, not just size but girth too. His hand had almost not been able to hold the damned thing all the way around. You could see a vein running down it on the underside of it, you licked your lips.

You felt so fucking needy because of him, no thought going through your head rationally right now. You just knew that you couldn't help how soaked you got because of the sight.

Your name was murmured by him, followed by a string of curses. You could fall right now if you weren't holding onto the doorframe with a death grip, your knuckles white. You couldn't believe it. Forcing yourself to hold in the whine you had desperately wanted to let out.

The slicked sounds of him masturbating to the thought of you and your panties made you lightheaded and filled with need. You had half a mind to start touching yourself right now because of him.

Kenma's chest started heaving more and his cock stood up taller, getting ready for a release. You were captivated by the estranged sight. You've had your fair share of unsolicited dick pictures from when you were in high school but those paled in comparison to him.

He let out a cry, as you watched the liquid spurt out of his cock, it was red and leaking. He clenched his hand over the burning red tip and whined more with a moan of your name on his lips. His low groans were forever imprinted into your head as you got alarmed and quickly, but quietly, shut his door.

You gulped and tip-toed down the steps, trying to be as quiet as possible. He still didn't even know that you were home. You retraced your steps and opened the front door, quickly slamming it a bit so it could be heard from up the stairs.

You continued to make noise, placing your jacking loudly on the hook, throwing your shoes, the whole nine yards. You hoped your face had calmed down from how red you could feel it was earlier.

After a few moments, you decided that you were heard and took his coffee in your hand, which couldn't help but to shake at the thought of seeing Kenma.

You knocked on his door, loudly too. You could hear a small curse and some shuffling on the other side of the door.

When it opened, you saw Kenma in all his glory, a fleeting drunken expression he wore just moments before almost gone, hair a bit messy, and cheeks tinted red.

"I got you a drink, Kenma. I figured that you may have wanted one since you haven't gone with Kuroo and I to the cafe in a while." You looked everywhere but his face. You hoped that he hadn't had a clue of what you had witnessed just moments before.

"Don't you have class today?" He questioned; his brows furrowed a bit at the look of you.

"Uh, yeah. It ended early though," You were still holding the cold coffee in your hand. "Are you going to take it or what?" You didn't know how else to say it. Naturally falling into the rude pattern that he had made you accustomed to.

"Is it even the right kind?" He scoffed, jerking it from your hand – with the hand he had been stroking his cock to moments before. You could feel your face slightly starting to burn.

"Yes," you said breathily, hoping he didn't catch onto it.

"You're welcome by the way." Trying to make your voice a little firmer, a little meaner.

"Thanks," He gazed at your face, the tension rising. You hoped he couldn't sense the nervousness in your body language – he could though, so it was redundant.

You turned sharply and made a beeline to your room, shutting the door behind you and locking it. Finally, you could breathe right.

What you hadn't known was that Kenma was breathless too, not because of what he just did but because of you. Seeing you right after he had just finished, made him get hard again. This time, he couldn't do a repeat of what just happened, opting to get into a cold shower instead.

You hadn't noticed the way he stared at you while you were talking to him, his eyes dilating more in your presence. He didn't know how to actually talk to you, being rude and trying to convince you that he hated you was his best option.

Kenma wanted you and he needed to know if you felt the same unbearable want for him too. With that last thought, he turned away and closed the bathroom door.

You, on the other hand, were completely and utterly speechless. You didn't know how you could ever get him a 'friendly' coffee anymore, speak to him, sit behind him in class or even see him on your way out the apartment.

Plopping on your bed, face down, you let out a silent scream and doubted yourself. Was the coffee even 'friendly' anymore? Were you actually just pining for Kenma because you secretly liked how mean he was?

You couldn't bear the sound of these atrocious thoughts in your head, opting to turn on your favorite cartoon and force yourself to sleep. You definitely were not leaving your room until Kuroo, Akaashi, or hell even Bokuto came and dragged you out of here.

. . .

Four of the past seven nights you have not even gotten a wink of sleep, and you couldn't help but to blame Kenma. He was the devil to you, his plan to kill you with sleep was working devilishly.

The last three days you survived off of energy drinks mixed with coffee and little twenty-minute power naps that your mind graced you when it wasn't thinking of Kenma stroking his cock, an image you couldn't get out of your head.

Finding things to distract yourself with have been hard and even more increasingly harder to not spill to Akaashi who you've been spending all your week with.

Whether it be a spa day he took you on when he noticed the bags under your eyes or invited you to an art museum showcase just because he happened to have an extra ticket, or maybe when he had given you homemade muffins when you complained that you hadn't eaten that morning.

Keiji Akaashi has been a blessing to be friends with but a curse to not spill what you saw of Kenma to. You were absolutely embarrassed to see anything; you get so bothered by it and there's always a feeling of need in your core.

"Have you been okay recently?" A small and quick question that didn't seem too big but when spoken aloud by Keiji, in the way that he said it almost made you even wonder if you were okay.

Of course, you were mentally fucked in the head for constantly dreaming about getting rammed by Kenma, a secret you'll take to your grave, but you'd never tell him.

"Uh, yeah, why do you ask?" You peered over, trying to pretend that you weren't fucking quaking in your boots, hoping to not give off an answer.

"Just a hunch," He replied, leaving it at that. However, you couldn't stop feeling his slitted eyes on you when you weren't looking at him. It was almost enough to make you confess, almost.

"Well... Kenma has been a lot more not mean." You randomly said, after typing a quick short sentence to answer an email. You both were in the library doing a study session since Kuroo was an upperclassman, he had less work to do, and Kenma was well... Kenma.

"Hm? So, my advice worked for you?" Keiji asked like he was even surprised it worked, which piqued your interest. Now, Keiji Akaashi seemed very articulate and careful in his steps so you could only strongly assume that something was up.

"Yeah, granted we've hardly talked but he hasn't left his room when I come home or doesn't scoff when I pass by." You mention, thinking back to recent events between the two of you. That was all true, it was awkward but true.

Being in the apartment with Kenma alone sparked something in you, which was dangerous. Being alone in an apartment with Kenma who, to you, seemingly has experience, is older, and also is intensely hot feels perilous for you.

"Well, that's good. I was afraid you were losing sleep on something so simple as Kenma." Keiji chuckled at his comment, he said that with a purpose, he wanted to see how you felt because he had intuitively known you were lying.

You forced a laugh, eyes widening for a moment, "No, I would never. Just this course work is difficult for me." You avoided eye contact and hoped that it wouldn't make you seem even more guilty than you already were.

"Ah, I must've forgotten. It's date night with Kou, I'll be leaving now. I'll see you soon, Y/n." Keiji said, peering down at his lit-up phone screen. You silently pleaded for him to stay only because you're not actually doing work. You're just avoiding going home because you knew for a fact that Kenma was there. He's always there.

The walk back home was penetratingly cold, and it wasn't only the breeze that made chills run down your spine either.

You'd have to be stuck with Kenma, with the longing stares you couldn't decipher from him, the hitches of his breath when you accidentally bump into each other, and the random morning tea he's made you.

It was all becoming too much for you.

You are even worried that being like this will ruin whatever kindness he's been bestowing upon you. He didn't know that you knew, and you damn sure hoped he didn't know about you trying to pleasure yourself to the sweet sounds he made that day.

Not having any experience sucks, especially in times like this. Porn always seemed weird and disgusting, you never had privacy living with your parents to actually try and have alone time, and the best thing you knew was the shower head.

You were hesitant on that last option because, well, you weren't sure if the walls were as hollow as you think they are.

Unlocking the apartment door, you definitely made sure to make it known that you were home this go around. You could hear Kenma in his room, only due the fact that the noises were from a game, you guessed that he was most likely streaming it too.

You snuck quietly into your room and finally was able to breathe a sigh of relief. What a week.

synopsis: it's the summer before you go to university, and you decide to become roommates with your pen pal that you've known since you were in primary. big problem arises, he's got a roommate, and it just so happens that his roommate either has a sexual want for you or hates your guts – or probably both?

tag list: [let me know if you’d like to be in the tag list!]

@geektastic84 @lavanderdreamve @hhoneyhan @kirikeijii @marsoverthestars @nymphsdomain @justagirlnamedkai @kodzukein @74zix47 @kakuzone @jaeminaur @3lectraheart

a/n: i hope you enjoyed, and the idea for this entire smau came from @deftrow !! i made the banner

[geekgirl-1717]

Runaway Cat and Runaway Heart

Seth Lowell x Reader

Tags: sfw, fluff, mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers, a little bit of smooching at the end. gender-neutral reader and no use of (y/n). 6.3k words

this catboy has me in a chokehold rn

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

You tried to steady your breathing, fighting against the panic rising in your chest. You could feel tears gathering in the corners of your eyes, and you furiously blinked them away.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

You needed to stay calm if you were going to resolve this situation.

It had started with a harmless mistake. You hadn’t given it a second thought when you’d left your front door open while retrieving a package. You’d stepped outside for mere seconds, and your cat had always been so well-behaved that it never even occurred to you that she would try to run away. 

Now here you were, pacing frantically up and down the sidewalks of Lumina Square, futilely reassuring yourself that your precious furry baby was okay and that you’d find her safe and sound. You spared a glance at the sprawling maze of roads and crosswalks zig-zagging through the city center, feeling the rush of air against your skin as cars zipped past endlessly, and the tears threatened to spill over your cheeks again as you imagined the worst-case scenario. 

You were sure you looked like a lunatic to passersby, wandering about aimlessly and calling out your cat’s name in a frenzied tone. With each passing minute, you could feel your hope slipping further and further away.

You rounded a corner, slumped over and defeated from your effortless search, when you spotted a Public Security officer. He was a feline Thiren, with a long, fluffy tail and ears poking out of his mop of white hair. 

As you moved closer, you realized the officer was holding something in his arms. Something fluffy with a long tail and pointed ears not unlike his own. Your heart started beating wildly in your chest as you felt your optimism return, and you couldn’t help yourself as you started almost running towards the PubSec officer. You recognized those furry features as belonging to your beloved cat.

The officer’s ears twitched as you ran up to him and he turned to face you as you approached, giving a clear view of your cat peacefully snuggled up in his arms like a baby. It seems he quickly put two and two together, and gave you an eager grin.

“Hello! Is this your cat, then?”

You could have thrown yourself at this man’s feet, you were so grateful to him. You tried to steady your breathing, giving him an appreciative look.

“Yes, sir, thank you so much! I- I have no idea why she ran away. I swear she isn’t usually like this!”

The officer just chuckled, his bright smile only widening further. 

“Don’t worry about it! I'm just glad this sweet little gal has such a lovely owner. I was worried she might be a stray.”

You felt your face heating up at his words. If it was anyone else, you might have felt uncomfortable with a stranger saying something that could be so easily interpreted as flirting, but he seemed so genuine and wholesome, you couldn’t even bring yourself to feel upset. 

You held out your arms to take your cat back, and the officer stepped closer to hand her off. Your cat, however, seemed to have different ideas. 

Instead of being happy to see you, your cat cuddled closer up against the Thiren, purring contentedly. You huffed before giving the officer an apologetic smile, reaching to try to grab your cat from him again. As you gently lifted her, your cat squirmed in your grasp, digging her claws into the officer’s uniform and refusing to let go.

That little traitor!

The officer laughed at the predicament, giving your cat a scratch behind the ear. Meanwhile, the heated flush of embarrassment creeped further up the back of your neck. 

“I'm so sorry about this. I’m sure you have much more important things you could be doing right now, and I’m wasting your time-”

The officer cut you off with a vigorous shake of his head, his ears flopping cutely with the motion. 

“Not at all! As a Public Security officer, it is my duty to help the citizens of New Eridu, no matter what! Making sure you get your cat back is as important as anything else, and I’d be willing to wait here all day if that’s what it took!”

You were taken aback by how sincere this guy was, and you felt your heart flutter at his kind words. 

Woah, slow down now.

This guy was clearly passionate about his job, and he probably would have said the same thing to anyone else, you told yourself. 

“Thank you, sir. That’s very nice of you to say.”

He gave you a beaming grin in response, and you wondered if his cheeks hurt from smiling so much. 

It took several more minutes of coaxing and embarrassed apologies from you before your cat finally relented to being handed over. You tucked her close to you in a firm but gentle hold so she couldn’t run away again (or jump back into the officer’s arms again, traitor).

You sounded like a broken record, but you thanked and apologized to the officer once more. 

“Thank you again so much for finding my cat. I’m sorry for any trouble this caused.”

“It’s no problem at all! I’m glad I could help! And I guess I should apologize as well. Cats just really seem to like me for some reason, so I’m sure that’s why your little gal was being a bit fussy.”

You almost laughed out loud at his words. It didn’t seem to occur to him that being a Cat-Thiren might have something to do with his cat magnetism, but you found his obliviousness to be adorably endearing.

“You don’t have to apologize. That certainly doesn’t sound like the worst problem to have.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, giving you a bashful grin. 

“Yeah, I guess not!”

His tail was swishing back and forth excitedly, and you found yourself almost hypnotized by it. Was it soft, you wondered? It had to be. You slowly looked up to his ears again, noting how they twitched and swiveled at the slightest sound. These mannerisms reminded you of your own cat, and you smiled at that thought.

It wasn’t as though you’d never met a Thiren before, but this guy was seriously cute. You’d even go so far as to call him pretty, with his soft lavender eyes and unfairly long lashes. His feline features made him all the more intriguing. 

Your eyes were just beginning to wander to his impressive deltoids peeking out from his sleeveless uniform before your cat let out a loud meow in your arms, breaking the silence that had formed between you and the officer and making you realize you’d been ogling him the entire time.

You immediately snapped your gaze back to his face, trying to pretend like you hadn’t just been looking him up and down like a creep. Luckily, it seemed like he’d been doing some staring of his own and was equally flustered.

You cleared your throat awkwardly and gave him a sheepish smile.

“Well, I should be getting back now. Thanks again for your help. Maybe I’ll see you around some time?”

You hoped that last part didn’t sound too pathetic. Thankfully for you, his eyes seemed to light up at your words. 

“Yeah, for sure! Hope to see you again soon!”

He waved you off as you made your way home.

Walking the familiar path back to your apartment gave you some time to reflect on the interaction you’d just had. More specifically, your thoughts kept drifting back to the PubSec officer.

He’d been so sweet and friendly. His upbeat energy was contagious, and even now you couldn’t fight the grin spreading across your face as you remembered his cheerful laughter and blinding smiles. And he was easy on the eyes, charming and boyishly handsome.

Your stomach did a funny little flip when you thought about the last thing he said to you, how he sounded so excited at the prospect of running into you again. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t share his enthusiasm. His genuine mannerisms were refreshing, if not a little bit naïve, and it made you want to get to know him better. 

You suddenly paused, a slight frown overtaking your features. You were reading too far into this, weren’t you? Of course you were. This guy was a PubSec officer, he was basically paid to be nice to civilians like you. And with how much he seemed to love his job, you bet he’d probably have the same happy grin on his face whether he was finding lost cats or arresting dangerous criminals. 

And worst of all, you didn’t even know his name!  You’d been so frazzled from the experience of almost losing your cat that introductions had been the furthest thing from your mind.

Another meow pulled you from your thoughts, reminding you that you’d been standing at the front door of your apartment for a while now without actually going inside. It was a careful balancing act to fish your keys out of your pocket while still holding your cat, but you managed to get the door open and place your cat inside safe and sound.

After double-checking your door was fully closed and locked, you sank down to the floor, letting out an exasperated sigh. Your cat happily plopped herself down in your lap, purring away as if she hadn’t just nearly given you a heart attack and led you on a wild goose chase throughout town mere minutes ago. 

As you lovingly scratched under her chin, you resolved that you had a harmless little crush on the very nice, very handsome PubSec officer who saved your cat, and it wasn’t a big deal because you’d probably never talk to him again anyway. You couldn’t even imagine how busy his life as an officer was, so what were the odds of your paths crossing again?

****

As it turns out, the odds were surprisingly high.

About a week had passed since the “cat incident,” and thoughts of the cute PubSec officer had only briefly crossed your mind.

You were standing in the pet aisle of the grocery store, deliberating between different brands of cat food. Much to your delight (see: annoyance), your cat had suddenly decided she no longer wanted to eat the food you had been buying her for years, and now you were on a mission to find something she wouldn’t turn her little nose up at. 

She stopped eating the chicken flavor, so do I go with tuna? Or would she like salmon better?

You were so absorbed in deliberating cat food flavors that you didn’t notice a familiar figure peering over your shoulder.

“If I were you, I’d pick the salmon one.”

Your head whirled around in surprise as you were greeted with a cheery voice and unmistakable grin. 

“Oh, it’s you!”

Your feline savior smiled even wider knowing that you recognized him (not that he was easy to forget). He was clearly off-duty, as he was wearing plain clothes rather than his PubSec uniform. Without his bulky gear and long gloves, you were able to get a much better view of his muscles through his short-sleeved shirt.

Jeez, get a hold of yourself.

You mentally scolded yourself. You alternated your gaze between the cat food in your hands and his pretty purple eyes until you finally processed what he said. 

“Thanks for the recommendation! Do you have a cat too, then?”

He tilted his head to the side and brought a hand up under his chin, as if deliberating how to answer your question. It was such a simple yet adorable action, and it reignited the spark of attraction you’d felt when you first met him. 

“Hmmm, kinda? They’re not technically my cats. Like I said before, cats just really seem to like me for some reason, and a lot of strays like to come up to me while I’m walking around or out on patrol. So I like to have cat food with me, just in case! Most cats really seem to like that salmon one you’re holding.”

So it wasn’t enough that he was attractive, strong, kind-hearted, and honest, but he feeds stray cats, too? What’s next, he’s going to tell you he helps old ladies cross the street in his free time? Actually, nevermind; he absolutely does.

As your crush on this man started blooming all over again, you finally realized you didn’t even know his name.

Quickly tossing the salmon cat food in your basket and placing the other flavors back on the shelf, you stuck your hand out in greeting.

“I’m so sorry, I never actually introduced myself. What’s your name?”

“Oh yeah, you’re right! My name’s Seth!”

He grabbed your hand and gave it an enthusiastic shake, smiling when you gave him your name in return. He repeated it back to you, as if trying out the way it sounded on his tongue, still shaking your hand all the while. His grip was firm yet gentle, and you couldn’t help but admire how nicely your hand fit into his. 

He finally dropped the handshake, and you briefly lamented the loss of contact. He spoke up again, clearly not in any rush to end the interaction. 

“So how’s your cat doing?”

You sighed before relaying the story of your cat suddenly becoming a picky eater, which made him laugh. From there, the conversation flowed easily between the two of you, as if you had known each other for ages.

You learned he was part of the Public Security Criminal Investigation Special Response Team, a difficult path for a PubSec officer but one he was dedicated to nonetheless. He loved cats (obviously), and he wasn’t a fan of horror movies. You chimed in with tidbits of your own from time to time, but you were mostly content to just listen to Seth. Every now and then, you spared a glance downwards at his tail, which was swishing back and forth excitedly. It reminded you of how your cat looked when she was staring at a bird or squirrel out your window, engaged and laser-focused, and it made you smile internally.

You had no idea how much time had passed. The two of you were in your own little world, and it wasn’t until you heard someone clearing their throat loudly that you realized you were still standing in the grocery store, effectively blocking access to the cat food shelf.

You and Seth both apologized profusely and backed up so an older woman could reach past you two. Thankfully, she didn’t seem upset, and she even shot you a knowing wink as she shuffled away. 

As much as you would have liked to keep talking to Seth, you unfortunately had other errands you needed to run today and you were sure Seth did as well. 

“I’m sorry, I need to head out now, but it was really nice to see you again!”

You told him with a smile. You swore you saw his ears droop slightly, but he perked back up almost immediately.

“Yeah, I’m really glad I got to run into you! Hopefully I’ll see you again soon!”

You gave him a short wave goodbye before continuing on with the rest of your shopping.

Just like when you first met him, you kept replaying your interaction with Seth in your mind over and over. He was so easy to talk to, and you felt so comfortable around him despite this only being the second time you’d ever met. 

Wait, did this mean you guys were friends now? Or were you more like acquaintances? Seth said he wanted to see you again and you certainly shared his sentiment, and the two of you had talked for so long about yourselves, so that probably made you friends at this point. Should you have gotten his phone number?

God, how did you keep fumbling this so badly? It was already a miracle you managed to bump into Seth at the grocery store, you doubted you would be lucky enough to cross paths with him again. 

You felt bad for the old lady who was rooting for you. It seems like your infatuation with Seth was destined to be just that: infatuation, and nothing more. Besides, even if you somehow were able to see Seth again, he didn’t seem like the kind of guy who was concerned with dating and romance. He had goals and dreams to pursue, and you were sure he only thought of you as a friend anyway. 

No use worrying about it now, I guess.

You continued on with your errands, resolving that if you did end up meeting Seth again, you would take that as a sign and ask him for his number. Not that it would actually happen, though.

****

Okay, now you were convinced you had some kind of guardian angel or deity watching over you, because what were the chances of this?

It had been about two weeks since you’d talked to Seth at the grocery store, and you had all but given up on the prospect of bumping into him again. You’d found yourself with a bit more free time than usual and to stave off the boredom, you decided to make a trip to the video store on Sixth Street. 

You’d only been there a few times, but they had a massive selection of movies and the siblings who ran the store were very nice, even if they did keep trying to convince you to buy a premium membership. 

You expected to be greeted by one of the managers or their Bangboo when you entered Random Play, but instead you saw Seth standing behind the front counter. It was your turn to tilt your head in confusion as Seth gave you his usual enthusiastic greeting. 

“Hey! What are you doing here?”

That got a laugh out of you, shaking your head as you walked up to the counter. 

“I feel like I should be asking you that. Do you work here?”

You doubted that Seth would have time for a second job or really any need for one, yet here he was. He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck and thinking for a moment before responding. 

“Kinda? But not really. I’m friends with the managers here and they’ve been really nice to me, so I offered to help promote movies for them every now and then!”

Was there anyone in New Eridu this guy wasn’t friends with? It was sweet that he spent his free time helping Wise and Belle around the shop, especially when he probably didn’t get much free time in the first place. 

You leaned your elbows on the counter, giving Seth a cheeky grin.

“Well then Mr. Promoter, do you have any good recommendations for me?”

Seth lit up like a Christmas tree, beaming at you excitedly. He moved from his spot behind the counter and wrapped a hand around your wrist, leading you over to one of the many displays along the wall. 

He searched for a moment before he let out a little “ah ha!,” pulling a movie from the shelf and placing it in your hands.

“Have you ever heard of a movie called ‘Dimensional Musketeer’? It’s about this mysterious guy who goes into Hollows to fight Etherals, and he’s got this cool weapon that lets him take down even the strongest enemies! It’s one of my favorite movies of all time!”

He was talking so excitedly fast, it was almost hard to understand him. Still, if this was one of Seth’s favorites, then it was good enough for you. You smiled at him, pulling the movie case close to your chest.

“That sounds awesome! I’ll definitely give it a watch then.”

You thought you’d seen Seth happy before, but the joy on his face right now was incomparable. 

“Great! Actually, why don’t we watch it together? This movie never gets old no matter how many times I see it, and I really want to know what you’ll think of it!”

It took you a moment before the implications of his words finally set in. 

Was he… asking you on a date?

It seemed like a plausible explanation, but then again with how friendly and frankly oblivious Seth was, it was equally possible he just wanted to watch his favorite movie with a friend and nothing more. 

Regardless, you weren’t going to pass up on this opportunity now, not when you had messed up so badly before. You tried not to let your tone betray how excited you were as you nodded in response.

“That sounds great! Do you want to come over to my place tonight? I’m sure my cat will be happy to see you again.”

Seth frowned slightly, looking bashful. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to feel like I’m inviting myself over.”

You laughed, tucking the movie case under your arm so you could grab both of Seth’s hands in yours. 

“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure. And you’re not inviting yourself over, I’m inviting you over, silly.”

Seth glanced down at where your hands were joined together, and you thought you saw a pinkish hue spreading across his cheeks.  

“Y-yeah, I guess you’re right. Tonight at your place is it then! Do you use Knock Knock? I can add you right now!”

You let go of Seth’s hands so you could reach into your pocket and pull out your phone, handing it over to him so he could input his contact information. 

When he handed you your phone back, you saw he put a little “(≧∀≦)” after his contact name, and you resisted the urge to squeal out loud from the cuteness of it all.

You followed Seth back to the front counter with the intention of paying for the movie. As you pulled out your wallet, though, he stopped you.

“Don’t worry about it, this one’s on me! 

“Are you sure? I really don’t mind.”

“Of course! I, uh- I actually have the premium membership here, so I may as well put it to good use.”

Oh, poor Seth. Of course a sweet guy like him wouldn’t be able to say no to the managers’ persuasions.

“Thanks, I appreciate it! I have to get going now, but I’ll see you later tonight!”

Though certainly not unwelcome, you weren’t prepared to host guests and your apartment definitely needed some cleaning up before Seth came over. 

“You’re welcome! And yeah, see you later!”

As soon as you made it out of the door of Random Play, you took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. 

Things had gone perfectly this time. You’d actually managed to secure a kind-of-maybe-not-but-also-maybe-yes date with Seth, and you were determined to make sure everything went smoothly. 

****

You arrived home a little while later, having stopped on your way back to pick up some snacks and drinks for the evening. You started on the task of tidying up your space, letting your thoughts wander as you flited from chore to chore. 

Should you dress up tonight? Or just keep it casual? Should you try to make a move? Was this even a date to begin with, or were you just reading too far into things?

On one hand, there certainly were signs that Seth liked you as more than just a friend. All those times you’d bumped into him, he seemed so genuinely happy to see you. Whenever you had to leave, you noted subtle signs of disappointment, whether it be a small dip in his near-permanent smile or a slight droop in his ears. And he was the one who suggested you watch a movie together in the first place. That had to mean something, right? You bit your bottom lip, trying to suppress your excited grin at the thought of Seth reciprocating your feelings. You could feel your face heating up and your heart beating incessantly against your chest. 

But at the same time, you couldn’t fight the nagging thoughts lingering at the back of your mind, planting seeds of doubt and uncertainty. For as much as Seth wore his heart on his sleeve, you found him surprisingly hard to read. He was such a good-hearted and friendly guy that the cheerful smiles and warm greetings, the constant acts of kindness and generosity, the hopeful promises of meeting again, were probably something he shared with everyone. Were you selfish to think you were special somehow? If Seth didn’t like you back, would it ruin the friendship you’d managed to build thus far?

That thought almost knocked the breath from your lungs. You couldn’t let that happen. You’d much rather spend the rest of your days silently and hopelessly pining after Seth than lose him entirely. 

Suddenly, this movie night didn’t seem like such a great idea anymore. But with how ecstatic Seth had been when you agreed to watch his favorite movie with him, you knew it would crush him if you backed out now. 

You didn’t even realize how much time had passed until you heard a ping from your phone, jolting you out of your anxious ruminations. As you’d expected, it was a message from Seth, asking if it was still okay for him to come over soon.

No turning back now.

You sent back an affirmative reply before tossing your phone down to finish preparing for Seth’s arrival. You decided on an outfit that wasn’t too flashy but certainly a bit nicer than what you’d wear around the house. After setting out the food and drinks, you opted to sit on the couch, nervously fiddling with your fingers and trying your best to keep your nervous thoughts at bay. 

You nearly fell off the couch in surprise when you finally heard a knock at your door. You stood at the doorway for a moment, taking one last moment to smooth out your clothes and tidy up your appearance before taking a deep breath. Seth was already beaming at you when you opened the door, and it helped put you at ease. 

That’s right. It’s just Seth. No need to overthink things. 

All of your reassured thoughts flew out the window when Seth pulled you in for a tight hug, squeezing you against him in a near-crushing grip. The feeling of being pressed into his firm chest and his muscular arms wrapped around your frame had your face heating up quickly. 

“It’s nice to see you again!”

His words made you burn even hotter, and you prayed Seth couldn’t feel your embarrassed warmth through his shirt. You hesitantly reciprocated his hug, pushing your face closer into his chest in an attempt to hide your fluster.

“You too! But you know, I just saw you a few hours ago.”

Seth pulled back from the hug, giving you an unfairly adorable pout. 

“I know, but it’s still nice to see you again.”

Your heart couldn’t handle such unabashed sincerity, and you could only smile and laugh awkwardly as you stepped aside to let him into your apartment, hoping he wouldn’t notice the flush still present on your cheeks. 

Seth had hardly taken 2 steps inside before your cat came trotting up to him, meowing and brushing up against his legs affectionately. He chuckled, reaching down to pick her up. Your cat was purring louder than you’d ever heard, starting to fall asleep in his arms almost instantaneously. You couldn’t even bring yourself to be mad, your heart melting at the adorable sight before you. Seth finally turned his attention back to you.

“Thanks again for having me over!” 

You shook your head, closing the door and leading him to the living room.

“Of course! I’m glad you could make it. I’m excited for the movie!”

“Me too!”

You crouched down in front of the TV, setting up the movie while he got comfortable with your cat now snoozing peacefully in his lap. Once everything was ready, you moved to take a seat on the couch next to Seth before you paused for a moment. How close should you sit to him? If you sit too close, it could be awkward. But if you sat on the far end of the couch from him, wouldn’t that be more awkward? He seemed to take note of your hesitancy, giving you a confused look before patting the empty space next to him. 

“C’mon, the movie’s starting!”

Seth having made up your mind for you, you plopped down in the spot he designated for you, your thighs just brushing up against his. You stole a glance at Seth out of the corner of your eye to gauge his reaction, but he was already engrossed in the movie. You directed your gaze back to the screen, resolving that you would just focus on enjoying the movie in favor of dwelling on Seth’s intentions. 

But as the evening went on, you found it harder and harder to stick to your resolve. While Seth remained fixated on the movie, you remained fixated on him. You realized this was the first time you’d really been able to admire Seth up close. Of course, you’d stolen plenty of glances at him during the times you’d spoken with him, but you had tried to keep most of your attention on his words, not wanting to be caught staring.

Now though, with Seth being so enthralled by the movie, you figured it was okay to let your gaze linger on him for a bit longer. You were positive he wouldn’t even notice. 

The light from the TV screen illuminated his features, casting a soft radiance over him. In the relative darkness of the room, his hair seemed to glow, reflecting the light like a fresh blanket of snow. His bright purple eyes seemed somehow brighter, full of excitement and contentment. His ears were standing straight up, not wanting to miss a single word of the movie. 

But most of all, your eyes kept drifting back to Seth’s tail.

It was swaying back and forth the way you’d seen it before when he was focused or excited, and it took all your willpower not to reach out and run your fingers through the fluffy tufts of fur. Whenever you’d encountered Seth previously, your eyes had always drifted down to his tail, your thoughts wandering to how it would feel to pet it. Realistically, it probably wouldn’t feel any different than when you pet your cat, but a part of you thought it might even be softer. 

You knew it was such a weird fixation, and Thirens probably had to deal with rude people trying to touch them all the time, but you’d never be able to stop thinking about his tail if you didn’t get to pet it at least once. 

You took a deep breath before steeling your resolve, shifting your position on the couch so you were now facing him with your legs crossed. 

“Hey, Seth? Would it be okay if… I touched your tail? It just looks so soft and I keep wondering what it would feel like.”

The question tumbled forth from your lips faster than you’d meant it to. Seth’s jaw dropped at your words, a deep blush quickly spreading across the expanse of his face.  

“You want to touch… my tail?”

He sounded so dumbfounded by your request, and you were afraid you’d overstepped a boundary. 

“Only if that’s okay with you! I’m sorry if that was a weird ask. You can just forget I said anything-”

You started to backtrack, but Seth cut you off. 

“No! You’re totally fine! You can touch my tail if you want to, no problem at all!”

He was trying to sound nonchalant, but his nervous tone betrayed his words. A blush was starting to spread across his cheeks, and you swore his breathing picked up. You tried to give him another out, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

“Seth, if you’re not okay with it, that’s totally fine. I swear I won’t be offended.”

He took a deep breath before shaking his head. He grinned at you like he’d done a million times before, but this one felt different somehow, more vulnerable and earnest.

“If it’s you, it’s okay. I promise.”

Now it was your turn to blush. You were caught off-guard by how earnest his response was, and it was all you could do to nod in response.

Seth shifted on the couch until his tail was in your lap, the movement causing your cat to hop off from her perch on his legs and meander away with a meow of discontent. Despite his best efforts to keep it under control, his tail still swished nervously, but the softness brushing against your legs was a pleasant sensation. You reached a cautious hand up, gently running your fingers through the white strands of fur.

You were right: his fur was somehow softer than your own cat. You found yourself almost memorized by the impossibly fluffy texture, and you had to stop yourself from burying your face in his tail as you imagined how nice it would feel against your cheeks.

You turned your attention back to Seth, your hands still stroking his fur absentmindedly. He was more flustered than you’d ever seen him, fiddling with his fingers in his lap while avoiding your gaze. You could feel your own face heating up as you noticed a tension building between you two. 

“Thank you for letting me touch your tail, Seth. It’s uh- really soft.”

You’d meant to try to lighten the atmosphere a bit, but you internally cringed at how awkward you sounded. Seth’s ears perked up at your words, his blush now spreading all the way down his neck. He only nodded in response, swallowing thickly before finally looking at you again. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally speaking in an uncharacteristically timid voice. 

“Can I, uh- I mean would it be okay if I.. kissed you?”

“Wait, what?”

You honestly couldn’t believe what you’d just heard. Seth wanted to kiss you? Right now?

While your brain was short-circuiting, Seth began to panic. His face was an alarming shade of red, and his tail was swishing about wildly. 

“Wait, do you not like me uh- you know, like that? I’m so sorry! I just thought with you wanting to touch my tail, you… you know. But if not, that’s totally okay, too! I’m really sorry!”

You wanted to slap yourself for your ignorance. Of course, Thiren’s tails were special to them, and asking Seth to touch his tail was a huge deal! This certainly wasn’t the outcome you’d been expecting when you’d first asked, but you couldn’t believe that Seth reciprocated your feelings. Your words came out in a rushed frenzy as you tried to salvage the painfully awkward situation. 

“No! I mean, yes, I do like you! A lot, actually. I just didn’t think you felt the same way.”

Seth tilted his head to the side, staring at you like you’d grown an extra limb. 

“Of course I like you! I’ve liked you since I first met you! How could I not? You’re attractive and funny and nice and you like cats and-”

You cut off Seth’s rambling by sealing your lips over his, pouring all of your feelings for him into the kiss. If Seth had continued listing everything he liked about you, you’re sure your heart would have exploded. 

Seth was initially caught off guard, but he quickly recovered and kissed you back with equal fervor, reaching a hand up to cup your cheek. 

Kissing Seth was everything you hoped it would be and more. His lips fit against yours like a puzzle piece. He seemed a little hesitant and unsure of what to do, but you were happy to take the lead, moving your lips softly and gently against his so as not to overwhelm him. 

You only pulled away when your lungs were burning for air. Seth wasn’t in much better shape, his breath fanning across your face as he panted heavily.

For a while, neither of you spoke, choosing instead to bask in the passionate moment you just shared. Finally, Seth broke the silence.

“So, uh- was that okay?”

He asked with a sheepish grin, his face still painted with a pink flush. God, he was so disgustingly adorable. You swore you were getting the same feeling of cuteness aggression you got whenever your cat did something precious.

You gave in to your impulses, reaching up to squish Seth’s cheeks in both your hands. You yanked him close until your nose was brushing against his. Seth let out a yelp of surprise, his ears sticking straight up.

“You’re so fucking cute.”

You mumbled before pressing your mouth to his once more. One hand reached up to run through his soft hair, your fingers barely brushing against the base of his ears.

He shivered at your touch, his tail wrapping around your waist to drag you further into him until you were almost sitting on his lap. 

The kiss was indulgent and lazy yet no less passionate than before. You had all the time in the world to kiss Seth now, and you intended on savoring it. 

After who knows how long, Seth pulled away first this time, planting a final kiss on your nose and leaning his forehead against yours. 

“You’re way cuter.”

You giggled at his sweet words, and Seth couldn’t help but laugh with you. As you leaned in for another kiss, you made a mental note to give your cat as many treats as she wanted, silently thanking her for running away from home and leading you to the man you never knew you belonged with.

[talesfromawannabejournalist]

Demon in Disguise

Here it is @kittenfangirl20, hope you enjoy part 1

Adam sighed as he waited for Lilith to make her appearance in the embassy. Adam was summoned by a letter from the Queen herself requesting an audience with the first man himself. Though Sera, the woman he looked at as a mother as she looked at him as her son, warned him against this meeting. However, Adam's will be strong, and he wishes to know what the snake wants. It didn't help that tensions were rising what with the sinners starting to rise. Adam's knee slightly bounced from underneath the table as he crossed his arms over his chest. Though he'd never admit it to anyone other than himself it always sent a shiver down his side whenever it was only just the two of them. Suddenly the doors opened and in walked Lilith all with the grace of a queen, and the slithering motions of a serpent. Her amethyst pierced Adam's soul as they locked onto him.

Lilith: Ah Adam just the man, or first man, I've been meaning to see, how are you? Doing good? Heaven sure does seem to be treating you good.

Lilith stated while her gaze turned directly on Adam's chubby belly. Adam scowled already wanting this meeting to end.

Adam: Cut the crap and just say what you want Lilith

Lilith: Very well, I've come here for a proposal. I understand that Heaven is getting quite antsy as of late due to my people beginning to rise up. I also understand that they are looking for solutions, well I have one that will solve everything.

Adam: And that is?

Lilith: I remove myself from my title as queen, Hell's military, leave Hell, and be given a spot in Heaven.

Adam was silent for a moment until he laughed out loud even banging his fist against the table.

Adam: Ok, and what makes you think that anyone in their right mind would allow you to stay? Not to mention me ever giving you free range of upstairs.

Lilith: You are still close with Sera, correct? Then she can help forward this deal. I also have something that you want more than anything

Adam: And what might that be?

Lilith: Lucifer's child

Adam: ...what?

Lilith: I'm sure that your little...birth defect is still present even as an angel, yes?

Adam glared at her wording but slowly nodded. Not long after Adam's creation his creator, God helped shift his body so that he then had both parts of a man and a woman. Though he didn't know why he did it, he didn't hate his body in any way, despite Lilith doing her hardest to make him back in the garden.

Lilith: I'll collect Lucifer's seed and have it implanted in your womb then you'll finally have the precious baby that you always wanted with your dear guardian angel.

Adam: ...Lucifer is alright with all of, this? You leaving him and me being impregnated with his sperm?

Lilith: But of course, after all, he does want what's best for our subjects, not to mention that if there is less interaction in Heaven ten the less, he'll have to see you. Plus, with you not only in Heaven but also supported by

Adam didn't know what to say, on the one hand, he'd finally get his dream of being a mother. He loved all his children when they were on Earth and loved being their father even when...the incident occurred and afterward. However, ever since Eden, he wanted to be with Lucifer, his Luci, his sweet angel, and have a family with him. On the other hand, it hurt him to his core that this was the only way. But...the pros outweighed the cons and on the plus side not only would he get his dream, but he'd also finally be putting a stop to any uprising from the denizens of Hell since the fire was only filled with Lilith there leading the charge.

It seemed Lilith could tell what his decision was and smirked.

Adam: alright Lilith, I accept your deal.

[xmintpiex]

On the Other End (2/4)

pairing: Satoru Gojo x Reader, Yu Haibara x Reader, implied Satosugu

Since birth, it was determined that you would marry Satoru Gojo, your pairing beneficial to both of your clans and so the two of you were tied by your shared fate. At least for this lifetime.

wc: 1,618

content: fem!reader, arranged marriage, angst, hurt/comfort, love, friendship, romance, fluff, growing up together, mentions of death

Suguru Geto and Shoko Ieiri. You had never met people like them before, people your age like that before. So modern and far removed from the clans. The same age and yet in their presence you felt like nothing more than a little sheltered child. Your 16 so different than theirs. You were so different for them too, the aspect of sorcerer society so easy to forget, to not address. Now right in front of their faces for the rest of their school years. How uncomfortable. 

But

They were good people. Kind, in their own ways. You believed that the moment Shoko lazily called you over to join them on the bench and Geto shoved Satoru a bit to make more room. 

Shoko patting the now-made space on the bench next to her as Satoru whined at Geto for knocking him off, the two bickering. She rolled her eyes and looked up from her flip phone to face you fully with a lazy smile. Satoru shifting to stand in front of the bench, hands on hips as he went on about how they would have to teach you all the ‘cool things’. Shoko and Geto ignoring him, asking you a few casual questions, talking to you, eyes on you. 

That breezy afternoon a little warmer. That great chasm you perceived between yourself and them a little smaller. A little smile of relief gracing your lips.

They did indeed teach you ‘cool things’, how to make ramen in the dorm kitchen, how to use the new flip phone your big sister had given you for not just making calls. How the vending machine on the east side of the campus sometimes gave two bottles if you kicked it just right. 

On your first night there, the four of you in the plain common room to watch a movie together at Satoru’s forceful insistence. Geto sighing and quietly complaining about Satoru’s bossiness yet going along, his lips tilted slightly upwards as he sat next to him. Shoko smoking casually from where she lounged by the open window, telling Satoru he was responsible for getting the snacks since this was his idea. You sat on one of the cushioned seats, a fluffy blanket around your shoulders as you looked at the large tv with excitement. A movie night. Your first of many.    

Of course, it was not always like that, for they were still sorcerers, and you were not. They had missions and were sometimes gone for days while you stayed on campus, insisting on helping around here and there with what Yaga would actually let you do—sweeping, organizing, cleaning, folding. 

The difference between you and them so loud in the quiet of the empty classroom, the lack of laughter and bickering in the dorm. The dusting of the school steps or hanging things out to dry. When they came back, safe and unharmed, complaining about wanting to rest or how it had been ‘too easy’. The air of casualness around them, the vagueness of what had occurred during their missions. How easy it was to think that they were invincible. If only you had realized sooner.

It was during one of these periods when they were away that you had met the first years. You still remember that day, always. A sunny morning at the school entrance where you had decided to help sweep. 

Kento Nanami and Yu Haibara. 

Oh, Yu….

You had heard his voice first before you saw him, energetic as he bounded up the steps. The sound so joyful like sunshine personified, you couldn’t help but turn around in curiosity. 

As he made it up the very final steps, you saw him for the first time. His brown eyes like honey in the sun, meeting yours. The most honest, carefree smile you had ever seen in your whole life. 

Breath caught in your throat. Your heart nearly pounding against your chest as if to break free. The broom nearly dropping from your trembling hands. 

His smile morphing into an open mouth gasp, cheeks flaring red as he looked at you and you looked at him. The sound of your heart so loud, as if it were singing, you had not even noticed the silence. 

Until he tripped over that very final step and you rushed to his side in alarm as he face-planted.   

Your hand on his shoulder. That spark. A warmth you wish you could still feel, now only in your dreams and memories.

At least you had those memories.

How he would run up to wherever you were when he saw you, chatting and insisting on helping you no matter what.

Those rainy days, those lonely days when all your worries and fears felt so true, so suffocating. His bright laughter piercing through. Your laughter following after, heart so warm. 

How he would slow his steps to be next to you when you all walked together for your big outings, falling a bit behind, his steps in sync with yours. Eyes meeting briefly. Smiles matching. 

His head resting in his hand as he watched you happily stuff your face. He had taken you to a bakery and the two of you had decided to split a cake. Your cheeks turning red, expression mortified when you realized what you had done, about to put your fork down with shame. Yet he simply smiled brightly and told you to eat as much as you liked. Eyes dazzling even under the fluorescent lighting. So you took another bite. The most delicious cake of your life, even now.

You anxiously waiting by the school entrance when you knew it was close for them to return, pretending to be busy with sweeping. The sound of his laughter, his figure running up ahead of Nanami’s a great balm to your heart.

Your nervousness as you shyly presented him with the scarf you had knitted for his birthday, almost wanting to take it back right away when seeing how dull it was compared to the other gifts. That feeling that bubbled into your heart, as he held it as if it were the most precious item in the universe, clumsily wrapping it around his neck. Brown eyes wide and cheeks red. You would have knitted him a thousand scarves if you could have. One for every birthday. But you were only able to make two. 

It was in these moments you understood a bit what it must have been like for Satoru. For him and Suguru. Their bickering and arguments. An arm slung around a shoulder. Laughter, teasing, smiles. The comforting quiet of just being in each other’s presence. 

Not Satoru Gojo but rather Satoru in his presence. Just Satoru.

The desire for that to continue forever and ever, the expectation that it would, so hard to imagine that it would ever change. How could it, when it felt so natural?

You thought that too with Yu. How you started to have little simple dreams. Little greedy dreams that went against the expectations ingrained in you since you were little. Dreams of just a girl and the boy she loved, getting to grow together throughout the years. Keeping them deep, deep down in your heart yet still hoping they would come true with time.

You thought you had time, so much time, and so you went slow. Trying to be content with what you had, expecting everything to eventually fall into place.  

That summer of 2007 that you did not think would be the last. Just the two of you at one of the summer festivals, wearing your yukata. Yu wearing his grey yukata as he attempted to catch a goldfish for you. Laughter and smiles bright. Burning your tongues on takoyaki and cooling off with shaved ice. A little bit of sunshine even at night. An inch away from holding hands, falling back to shyness and nervousness. Not wanting to cross a line you had made for yourself. You could wait.

Your shoulders bumping as you watched the fireworks in that clear summer night sky, amongst the crowd of people. Facing the sky yet your eyes wandered to his face to see it illuminated by those bright colors every few seconds. Each time you peeked, his eyes were already focused on your face. Eyes so radiant and intense, his mouth moving before he could even think. Words so truthful and clear despite the booming fireworks. Oh.

How you wished you had kissed him back then. If only you had taken that little courageous step to hold his hand or reached up to press your lips to his cheek or perhaps even his lips. How he would have turned so red, maybe even stuttering for a moment before kissing you back. Your lips would feel so perfect against his, even in a clumsy first kiss. You knew it would have. Maybe you would kiss again and again before finally parting, his grin far more beautiful than those fireworks ever could be yet just as fleeting. Walking back to the campus, hand in hand, cheeks red and hearts singing. One last memory for this lifetime. The touch of his lips forever inprinted on yours.

But you didn’t. Too used to waiting, to thinking just being patient would be enough to be rewarded with what you wanted. After all, wasn’t that what you were always taught? You were very, very good at being patient and well-behaved. 

But in 2007 you learned that the world was a cruel, cruel place. That cruelty did not stop. It did not stop for patience. It did not stop for grief. It did not stop for the weakest or the strongest. It especially did not stop for love.

[evadneares]

I wonder how you are, and if you think of me as seriously as I think of you, and I wonder if you forget me sometimes only to be reminded by something mundane, because I see you when I see monolid eyes and sport cars and playgrounds and volleyballs, and I wish that I could forget you, but I can't, so I wonder if you think about me the way I do, if you want to escape the thought of me so bad but the world won't let you.

[skrunksthatwunk]

love like you / maternal pang

bonus under cut:

the first stephanie + the maternal pang tone destroyer i couldn't include bc it's a serious comic

[reeama-the-mage]

Heard owner of a lonely heart out in the wild today, as if I'm supposed to be able to be normal about it

[deadsince1973]

Poll Below

So, I saw someone say yesterday that "most people skim watch Chinese dramas", and that honestly blew my mind. If it has subtitles, I have to watch it and focus on it.

But then several thoughts occurred to me. You see, right now, my friend and I are watching The Longest Promise and The Screen Foxes. To us, The Longest Promise is painfully slow. We thought it was a little slower than most Chinese dramas, but most Chinese dramas are a little bit slow, and The Longest Promise actually feels much slower to us because we hate the main character and, like, half the story decisions so much, we thought. (Sorry, no offense to Longest Promise fans.) We thought that if we actually liked the main character and were invested in her story, the way the show dilly-dallied on every one of her scenes - having her say the same things over and over again, showing a dozen different angles on some magical moment in her life, having her express feelings about something that happened in a previous episode that she had made very clear at the time - would be enjoyable. Meanwhile, before we started The Screen Foxes, I read three different reviews that said the plot moved lightning-fast, bounced all over the place, and didn't make any sense. And ... none of that is true (so far). The plot moves at a normal pace. A thing happens, and then, something else happens as a consequence. There ARE several different interconnected story threads, and we do bounce back and forth between them, but it all makes sense. And last night, it hit me that maybe The Longest Promise is so slow because you're supposed to "skim watch" it. Certainly, if you dip in and out, you can follow the plot very easily. Scenes are long enough that it's hard to miss a whole one if you're checking back in frequently, repetitive enough that you can understand the point of the scene even if you miss three-quarters of it, and the same points are repeated in multiple scenes, so there are very few details you can miss even if you don't watch it too closely. (Plus, the plot is predictable enough that it's easy to follow.) Meanwhile, because The Screen Foxes doesn't dawdle on any points, if you're not actually sitting down and watching, it must seem chaotic and nonsensical. Why are they fighting this green monster now? Wasn't the show about painting a minute ago? The green monster is being used by a Taoist to body-guard a rich family. The Taoist is actually the one who made the family rich. Why? That's the mystery we need to find out. In the meantime, this family used its wealth to cheat in the painting contest from the last episode, so fighting their body guard is advancing that painting plotline too. But if you looked away from the screen during the two minutes where they were explaining all that, then yeah, it would be super confusing why this show just went from a painting contest to a demon fight.

If Chinese dramas are MEANT to be watched in the background, and that's the reason so many of them are so long and slow, then, honestly, my whole worldview has been changed.

So, TLDR: I have to know now: DO most people actually "skim watch" Chinese dramas????

[forcedhesitation]

why should it just be steve who has all the torturous purgatory realm fun?

[sysig]

Party (group) party (celebratory)! (Patreon)

[functionalasfuck]

What I think everyone needs to understand is that EVERYONE has red flags because not all red flags point to danger.

A red flag means a symptom that is being displayed could potentially be caused by something dangerous. BUT it could also be caused by something benign. It is a warning to keep an eye on things, not a death sentence.

But some of y’all acting like people should never raise a red flag in their life are entirely unrealistic.

HOWEVER, in media, a red flag is a Chekhov’s Gun. If you point out that there is a gun in a piece of media, and you don’t fire it, why the fuck did you put the gun there in the first place. So if I see a fictional character who is given a red flag, but then the narrative never fires it or even acknowledge it, why the fuck was it there.

… anyways this post got away from me.

[ladystoneboobs]

i call this collection, contradictory quotes from two boys very, very confused about their families, homes, and loyalties.

[hourcat]

i wonder who has my dad's phone number now.