#it does not make me a better friend or partner or whatever if I'm constantly occupied with negative feelings about myself that

[malereadermaniac]

Too Trusting ~ Ben Florian x Male Reader

You're a part of the VK's, Mother Gothel's son Mal doesn't like Ben at all, but all the others do, you a little more than the others word count: 1.5k m!reader (no genitalia mentioned) / FDNI

Goodness class was awfully boring

But having your friends with you made it tolerable

What made it better was running into the soon-to-be king, Ben

Ben and you had a rocky friendship, Mal made it tough for you and the other VK's to get along with him

But you still tried your best, joking with him and having witty conversations before they were interrupted by either Audrey getting jealous or Mal dragging you away

But luckily the two of you shared 'history of magic' and sat by each other after Ben generously volunteered to sit by you when you moved to Auradon

You two did pay attention to the class but you talked a lot

About the island, about your mother, about the VK's, and about relationships....

Ben felt comfortable around you

It was different to how he felt around other guys like Chad

And very different to how he felt with Audrey

He'd said he felt as if he "were walking on egg shells around her"

One day, after Ben noticed that it was always Mal that dragged you away, he decided to ask you about it

"Are you and Mal a thing?" Ben asked innocently

You blush

"What? Haha no way!" You chuckle at his question

"Was my question that ridiculous?" Ben asks, smiling but slightly embarrassed

"I mean, kind of? Because I'm gay, Ben" you say as you keep chuckling, writing down whatever the fairy-godmother was saying

"Ah- I never noticed!" Ben says with an apologetic look

"Don't worry haha.... The fashion on the island is very similar to gay Auradon fashion so it must be hard to tell the difference"

After class Ben and you kept chatting until Audrey shouted from across the hall

"Benny-boo! I'm waiting for you to walk me to lunch!" She shouts with that headache inducing high-pitched voice

"Guess I've got to go"

"I guess you do Benny-boo~" you tease and the two of you laugh as he leaves

"You two seem to have hit it off"

"AH! M-Mal... ew no I'm like... just pretending haha" you jump as you notice Mal behind you

"Sure... Listen I have a plan on how to get the wand" She says in a mocking tone

"I'm listening"

"A little birdie told me that the King's partner sits front row at the coronation, and they bring the wand out during coronation"

"I don't get it.... ARE YOU GONNA DATE KING BEAST?! Mal he has a wife..."

"Are you stupid.... No I mean the King to be, as in Ben" Mal says with a smile

"Oh... Are you planning to date Ben? He's dating Audrey" you say with a confused look

"No I'm not, I can't stand him... You are! You're going to spell him!"

"WHAT!? I can't do that, you may not like him, Mal but I do and I don't wanna spell him to fall for me" you say with grimace on your face

"Oh come on! (Y/n) I can clearly see you like him, just indulge in your own desires for once! You're mother would be disappointed in how selfless you are" Mal went in for the kill with that one

"Oh shut up... Fine I'll do it, but you're helping me"

"Obviously, I can't trust you to make spelled brownies, I can't trust you to even make regular brownies" She chuckles and the two of you giggle as you walk away

The tub of brownies was in your bag, it was time for history of magic again

"Today's topic is Villain magic" you could feel everyone look at you when the fairy-godmother said that

"Can you do any, (y/n)?" Ben asks you

You blush at the question

"Good question, Ben! (Y/n) would you mind coming up here and explaining it to us?"

The FGM must be some kind of sadist because you were in physical pain as you walked up to the front of the class

You explained the basics of villain magic, and how it derives from their origins and was adapted to their own persons

Then you mention yours being the same as your mother's, deriving from the song she sang to rapunzel

After class, Ben questioned you constantly

"So how does it work??"

"Is it only one song or multiple?"

"Can you sing me a spell??"

"Why don't you sing more often?"

After answering most of his questions you see Mal out of the corner of your eyes, miming towards your bag

"Oh by the way! I made you something for the big game" you say with a smile as you pull out the brownies

"Oh thank you but I don't eat before games"

"Oh I get it don't worry"

"It's nothing against you it's just my-"

"No no I get it don't trust a villains kid and all" you cut deep, you and to, Mal was counting on you and so was your mother

"What no it's not like that!" Ben says with a worried look on his face, the last thing he wants to do is offend you

"Ben I understand don't worry abou-" but the blonde interrupts you as he takes the brownie out of your hand and immediately eats it

" *Shee I Twust Yew* " he says with his mouth full

After he swallows the whole brownie, you look st him with a worried look but quickly hide it with a smile

"So how do you feel? Are they good?" You test the waters

"I feel great... You look great- I mean they taste great!" He mumbles, his eyes never leaving yours

God was he attractive, the way he immediately ate the brownie after he felt he'd offended you.... He's too Trusting but that makes him that much hotter you

After the madness of the game and his love proclamation ensues, Ben and you start dating

You feel incredibly guilty

For spelling him of course, but mostly for enjoying it

So after many dates and nights together, you had enough

You loved him so much, and he loved you but it didn't feel real - probably because it wasn't

So one day, when he begged you to show him a spell, you decided to try break the spell on him

"Fine, I'll try and spell you, happy?" You say faking annoyance

"Finally!" He says happily and gives you a kiss on the cheek

You blush and smile, but feel ill on the inside

This was it, you think to yourself what the correct spell for this situation was and then began

And after singing some distortion of the healing incantation, Ben goes quiet for a second

'Did it work??' You think to yourself

"So? Am I a frog now??" Ben jokes

"Haha... clearly I'm out of practice, the spell failed" you chuckle with s glum smile

"That's fine, my boyfriend doesn't need to be amazing at everything, just most things" he jokes

He kisses you again, on the lips this time

You hate that you love it so much

After more dates and more troubles ensuing, the day of the coronation arrived

You hadn't told Mal about trying to break the spell

But she had suggested to break the spell after taking the wand anyway

After the troubles of the coronation happening, you meet once again with Ben

This time at the enchanted lake

"I baked you brownies again! For after our date" you say with a smile

You wanted one last perfect date with him

"Oh I'm starving, I'll have them now!"

"W-Wait! Swimming on a full stomach isn't the best idea you know I-" you were trying to grab the brownies back as Ben chuckles

However he scoffs them down as quick as he can as he laughs

"Crap... Do youuuu feel fine?" You ask with a worried look

"Umm yeah I guess? But let's give the reverse love spell some time to work, let's go back to our date!" Ben nonchalantly says

"Yeah that's a good idea.... wait what?" You look into his eyes with a worried, scarred look

"How long have you know?!" You shout

"Since you tried to spell we with a song, I didn't expect you to reverse Mal's love spell" Ben says with a chuckle

"I'm so sorry, you must think so lowly of me and you should do it was-" you apologise profusely but get interrupted by a kiss

"I'm not mad, (Y/n)..."

"You're not?"

"Nope, clearly you liked me but Audrey was keeping you from getting with me"

"Yeah..." you say with a sad smile

"Honestly I'm kind of thankful, I never realised I also liked guys and also how bad of a girlfriend Audrey was haha"

"I'm glad! I'm guessing this means you wanna call off our date?" You say with a bittersweet tone

"Of course not! Didn't you hear me earlier, I said we should get back to our date"

"Really??" You say in shock

"Definitely, come swim with me, my dear boyfriend (y/n)~"

[firesnap]

i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.

ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?

its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?

im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.

This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.

I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.

This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.

My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.

With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.

Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.

(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)

But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.

[lowkeyrobin]

MCYT with artist reader and like R makes them art all the time weather it's using them as an art reference and having a bunch of doodles of them, or painting full portraits of them, or like painting pictures of their pets🪩🩷🥹🛸

ooooo I'm an artsy weirdo so here you go!!! thanks for the request ; also this is the day I figure out the ufo emoji existed

MCYT ; artsy reader

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

bro u got a whole sketchbook dedicated to doodles of him and his character versions in mc smps (dsmp, osmp, etc)

you love painting him in watercolors 🫶🫶

you made him a watercolor portrait thing with the HTBAB logo behind him, freddie & jack

he treasures the art you give him

literally frames it and hangs it on the wall or puts it on the shelves in his office

sometimes he'll take a picture of them and posts them w ur consent to show off your talent

"look what y/n made me 🫶" or "now wtf why can't I have this kind of talent?"

will chill out with you while you're drawing/painting etc

you go over to his parents house ONCE and make a family portrait + the dogs for them

that painting hangs above their fireplace, his parents look at it everyday

he does little drawing competitions with you on stream just to bond with you a bit and make you laugh

like the "we go back to school" video, the paint gets everywhere because of him LMAO

will straight up show off your sketchbooks on stream too

RANBOO

absolutely loves showing off your art and praising you for it

you've made them so much genloss fanart

you even made them a few channel banners, especially after the rebrand (and they will never change them ever again omg)

gives you a bunch of ideas for drawing

you love drawing the lanky d!ranboo and gl!ran especially w the mask and wide arrangement of wires and stuff

you made a textured painting of genloss!ranboo and it sits on one of the shelves in his office

he's obsessed with touching it and feeling the paint

its like feeling the hours of work you put into it, something just for them

also loves posing for you

they will get so extravagant and unique with it LMAO

FREDDIE BADLINU

anything you make for him is a treasure

you made a little portrait of him and his closest friends, and it hangs on his bedroom wall where he can see it constantly

shows off your art and totally praises you for it

does silly poses for you to reference

you've made him a couple screensavers and stream starting soon pages

he absolutely loves your color pallettes good god

Freddie in acrylic paint>>>>>

"guys look at what my amazing partner made me today 🫶❤️"

sends you links to Instagram shorts or whatever to little crafts/ideas if you're having artist block

he finds a notebook full of sketches and random blurbs of/about him when you get bored and shit and have nothing better to do

absolutely head over heels because the fact you spend so much time making art of/for him, omg

if you bleach-paint shirts yk damn well he's wearing whatever you made him 24/7

NIKI NIHACHU

absolutely loves your character designs for her characters, they're all so unique and different and she loves it

your designs of osmp!niki are her favorite, considering she's literally a mermaid

the art you make with all her tattoos and piercings>>> omg

either totally adorable or totally badass

"more biker! niki bc she needs to learn how to bike rn... @/nikinihachu"

"amazing as always y/n/n 🫶 maybe I will..."

loves just quietly watching you do your thing

her and watercolor paints will never not be perfect

you make a whole mural for her because you got bored...

it's an abstract kind of goth-ish mermaid kinda thing on one of her office walls, and 'nihachu' spread across it in white, kinda cursive lettering, it's amazing

always making silly little doodles of her too

ALEX QUACKITY

cant even comprehend how talented you are

he always sees you drawing him and painting him and he's like "bro go touch grass u spend too much time thinking about me"

you also made a textured painting for Tiger

it's his prized possession, he loves it to much

almost broke down and cried when you gave it to him

loves looking at all the little doodles, drawings and character designs

his favorites are the ones of him with dynamic arm poses, even if you think they're bad

he thinks it adds a lot more personality and makes him look better LMAO

he loves and appreciates that you spend so much time on something about/for him, and so often as well

he looks so good in gouche paints that's all I'm saying

and in a kinda graffiti style as well omg

FOOLISH GAMERS

absolutely adores all the art you make of him

he'll even pose so you can get references and shit LMAO

him and watercolor paints... lord

AND COLORED PENCILS

any painting you've made for him is hung up on the wall

loves seeing your character designs for his dsmp/qsmp etc characters

he also shows them off online and points out all the cool things you've added and shit

even if it's just simple doodles of him, you'll add a splash of color w a marker or highlighter and he thinks it looks so awesome

you have post it notes all over your wall thatre just doodles of him and shit

you painted his shark logo on a giant canvas for him for a YouTube video

like 59 hours later you completed it and gave it to him as a birthday gift

he doesn't shut up about it after that

literally brags about it like he's a 15yo who just got a girlfriend for the first time before all his other friends

[trans-androgyne]

I don't really do this like at all but I have no idea where else to express my frustrations and dejection. This is pretty negative so no need to even read it but If you do I really appreciate it. I'm a transmasculine teenager and I remember first coming to tumblr from reddit cause I heard there was more transmasculine folks here and I was like waooww! Sounds great. I expected cool memes or positivity or representation just something I could relate to because I genuinely hated myself for being trans, so much. Can't come out at school, can't transition for like another four years, can't entirely come out to family either, so I can seek solace online. Now tumblr has become by #1 doomscroll site and I hate myself more than ever for newer reasons. Wooow. And this time it's coming from other queer people and it feels worse than anything I read from a genuine right-wing bigot. I keep feeling like my existence is just irrational and misogynistic and hopeless. I don't know how to feel any better about my identity as a transgender male.

Gods, I've been in really similar spots, I'm so sorry. Seeing the same old vitriol from cis transphobes is one thing. But when I stumbled into the discourse about transmascs on here, feeling that hated and rejected by my fellow queer and trans people pushed me to the brink of detransitioning. There are two main ways I pushed through that.

The first was to focus on other transmascs. Sure, I can hate myself for "choosing the wrong side" or whatever, but would I ever, ever say that about another transmasc? I wouldn't. I would never tell them half the stuff I believed about myself. It became clear to me that queer masculinity, especially trans masculinity and manhood, gets pushback both from inside and outside the queer community that it does not deserve. One's gender and gender presentation does not relate to their morality. Queer masculinity is beautiful and radical, no matter what anyone tries to tell you, and I let myself fall in love with it and engage in it out of spite. Even if I couldn't accept it on myself, I committed myself to letting other transmascs out there know that I believed their transmasculinity made the world a better place. After a while, it was a little easier to feel that way about myself too. I still get insecure about it, but I can always lean on other transmascs and transmasc allies about it.

That's the second strategy. I felt so isolated and alone as a transmasc, especially when we were being blamed for predstrogen being banned, that I ended up making a discord server centered on trans men and mascs. I've gotten so many friends and even two new partners out of that! It turns out that there are plenty of people who love transmasculinity even if they aren't transmasc themselves. An example is my trans femme S.O. who loves me being her transmasc stone butch and praises my masculinity constantly :) I suggest to all transmascs ever to surround themselves with as many people as they can that see the value of transmasculinity and don't hold bigoted beliefs about transmascs (because yes, believing that we're all annoying and attention-seeking and self-centered and misogynistic is bigoted). My server is always open if that might help you, but other spaces are out there as well. Just know you deserve to be supported in your identity and there are plenty of people who would give you that support. You are always, always, always welcome in my inbox, or DMs, or anywhere else. Please reach out if I can be of any help.

[mor-goo]

AU MK1 where the two main protagonists are Li Mei and Havik and it gets crackshippy

So this AU was borne of me having recently started playing MK1, and only just learning that the two characters I thought looked most interesting apparently have next to no real impact on the story.

I don't know if anyone even cares about this game anymore, let alone the story, but here's my dumb AU re-write and crackship on the vaguest, most conceptual level.

Very obvious law-and-order-vs-unrestrained-chaos conflict. No way these two would work together of their own volition, so something drastic would present both with no other choice.

Buddy cop movie but they just stay hating each other the whole way through.

Havik's tower ending where he floods Seido, and both characters' stubborn natures also present inevitable conflict when Li Mei is naturally all like 'hey, maybe don't'. No matter how well they work together over the course of the story, you know it'll go awry by the end.

Why do they team up? What do they accomplish by the end of the MK1 story? I'll be damned if I know. Maybe if this gains any traction, I'll think about it more.

Havik works with Quan Chi, but grows to believe that he has promised too much to too many people. He brings back memories of the leadership of Seido.

One form of motivation for Li Mei to finally join him is the hope of redeeming herself in the eyes of Sindel and the royal family. Naturally, she doesn't tell them about their partnership. Tanya's role as the new head of the Umgadi, as well as her suspicions of Li Mei in relation to Jerrek's death, means Li Mei has to constantly check over her shoulder.

Neither of them are happy about having to partner with the other, but recognise it as a necessity.

Maybe their partnership would be found out later. Sindel sees it as the final straw after the death of Jerrek, and threatens her execution for working with a known terrorist (at least in Edenia's eyes). Li Mei perhaps has to make a choice between disowning the travelling partner who she's come to respect tolerate, or staying with him for the greater good of defeating Quan Chi and Shang Tsung.

The dynamic

Li Mei is about 90% of Havik's impulse control. He looks forward to seeing her losing her cool, just so he has something that he can hold over her.

Havik is naturally pretty ACAB (you go, Havik!).

They take turns interrogating people. Havik tends to be more physical with it. I'd say 'good cop, bad cop', except Li Mei would also start beating them if a) they annoyed her enough, or b) Havik's form was off. She's a stickler for fighting technique.

You're a fool if you don't think Havik pulls the most juvenile pranks on her. When they first meet, he pretends to suffer a grievous injury, pulling off his own arm or something just to be a dick.

The arm acts as a Chekov's gun and he gives it to her as an impromptu weapon in act 3 or something, idk.

Li Mei is a smooth talker with some surprisingly witty reparte when she wants to use it. Havik is not. I imagine it like James Bond suave vs Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket. ('You'd better un-f**k yourself or I will rip off your head and check down your neck!')

It'd probably end with Li Mei accepting her role as head of Imperial Police, as she does in the tower ending, and she'd be willing to let Havik go, with a days' head start or something like that. Yeah it's tropey as hell, but I love said trope.

Y'know how Darrius just hangs out with Havik in the story mode and has no dialogue at all? I imagine him as also occassionally being there in this AU, and still also not saying anything. Havik is just like 'this is Darrius, he's coming with' and Li Mei, too exhausted to question it anymore, just thinks 'yeah, that tracks, whatever'. Darrius just sometimes nods or shakes his head.

Remember that meme where the person asks out his crush and makes it a group chat that also includes his friend? And the friend is like 'dw bro I'm here for you?' That'd be Darrius.

('Why does Li Mei call you baby girl?' 'Let's change the subject.') Would it get ship-y?

For some reason they could meet with the canon group (ie Raiden, Johnny Cage, etc) and Cage would be all 'I ship it'. Mileena, having to hide her own relationship with Tanya, is surprised, but doesn't consider it her place to judge. Even Lui Kang could be sporting one of those sly, subtle smiles he sometimes gives.

No clue what would happen after the events of the story for now, but would be left open-ended in an eternal state of chase. A sort of grudging level of mutual respect. ('I hate this person, but I'd be damned if I'm going to be chased by / chasing someone else')

OR it's a more tragic ending where he and Rain do flood Seido and we get a somewhat tragic ending between the two where Li Mei reverts back to hating him, and also herself for thinking he had any humanity to him.

In other words, you're damn right it gets ship-y. They're called crackships for a reason and I've caught the bug.

What shall we call it? Law and Havoc?

Anyway, verbal spray over. Maybe when I see more of the story I'll come up with more ideas. Sorry for any repeated points, I was desperate to get this all down. I'm off to stew over this some more for now.

[violentlyexplosive]

man, trying to find good fan-written work featuring a blind/visually impaired character (or reader) is like wading through waterfalls of literal shit. like I hate being mean about this kinda stuff, I understand not everyone on the planet knows what it's like to not be able to see properly, but for the love of GOD, GOOGLE IT. OR ASK SOMEONE. OR JUST DON'T WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING YOU KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING ABOUT.

if you're hell bent on writing a visually impaired or blind person, here are some quick pointers so you don't come across as an ableist prick:

99% of us don't hate being blind. some of us were born this way. others have had plenty of time to come to terms with whatever happened to us. for a whole lot of us, it is simply a fact of life, and not something we even really think a lot about on a day to day basis. I am sure there are tons of low vision people out there that do hate it, but it is an incredibly individualised and nuanced experience. please for the love of all literary goodness, don't do the whole "oh woe is me, I'm blind, however will I go on!!!" thing. it's tired, overdone, and frankly a little insensitive.

WE DON'T JUST SEE DARKNESS. WE DON'T SEE BLACK. WE DO NOT SEE. for some people, like myself, we have significant vision loss, but can still see clearly enough to move through life without much difficulty. for others, they might have large blind spots, and small sections of vision to rely on. only a very small percentage of us have absolutely 0 vision, and in those cases, it isn't "darkness" or "pitch black" that one sees- it is nothing. I know it can be hard to wrap your head around, but a common example used is: bend your arm and point your elbow forward. what does your elbow see? nothing, right? not blackness, not darkness- just the absence of sight. that is what total blindness looks like.

ok, so I'm aware this one people are getting better about, but it bears repeating: blind people do not touch faces to "see" them. why the fuck would we do that. I'm sure with close family members, romantic partners, or even friends, it may be something one does just for the fuck of it, or to make note of a specific feature (i.e. hair texture, nose shape, scars, etc,) but nobody is out here using their fingers to map out people's faces just on the reg. do you have any idea how awkward that would be. I don't know where your face has been, and I'd frankly rather just imagine the specifics of your features and admire your blurry visage WITHOUT my fingies, thank you very much.

OUR OTHER SENSES ARE NOT MAGICALLY ENHANCED. we're not superheroes, we're disabled. sure, over time, we might come to rely on our other senses more, and hone them better, but we're not fucking Daredevil. I can't hear the buzzing of my lightbulbs because I'm legally blind and super cool (unfortunately,) I hear them because I'm fucking autistic.

a good chunk of us don't know how to read braille. an unfortunate side effect of having text to speech functions on phone cameras is the loss of this skill. if i can't read something, I ask someone else to read it for me, or I take a picture and zoom in. braille differs from country to country, language to language, etc etc. even if I learned Irish braille (written as Gaeilge, by the way, so not even in English!) I would not be able to read braille in my native language of Swedish. and beyond drugstore products, it typically isn't used much. I've rarely, if ever, found braille menus, instruction manuals, books, etc. and with modern technology, learning and knowing braille is falling increasingly out of style.

not all blind eyes look milky/all white. my fully blind eye is constantly closed, but my functioning, legally blind eye is perfectly normal in appearance. in fact, you've probably met one or two people in your life who would qualify as legally blind/low vision who function and, through all outward appearances, are no different from you.

we are not weak little babies that need protecting. I'd argue that visually impaired people can probably get around better than some fully sighted people, purely because we're forced to be more aware of our surroundings. not to mention some of us have guide dogs or friends/family/what-have-you to help us manoeuvre when necessary. just because we can't see well doesn't mean we're damsels in distress incapable of wiping our own asses. we're people with personalities and skill sets and life experiences, not infants.

ok so I'm sure this has come across as aggressive and/or rude, but yknow what? I don't particularly care anymore. I have seen far too many ignorant and uneducated people try to write or otherwise portray blind/visually impaired characters using guesswork and stereotypes from television, and I've just hit a wall in terms of being able to disregard it and not care. I do care. a whole lot, apparently. I'm tired of seeing random people on the internet deciding they'll write a low vision character and butchering it so terribly it makes me physically cringe. if you have to write a character with a visual disability, I implore you to read a fucking book, google it for 15 minutes, hell, make a reddit post or something to ask actual visually disabled people about their experiences so you're not making a fool of yourself, talking out of your ass and insulting an entire category of human beings. it is that easy.

[thelaurenshippen]

I'm just a starting writer, I did a little nanowrimo this year and wrote 39k words about a vampire gamer, I've always been a vampire girl, but here's the thing I don't know what to do with it.

Currently I'm unemployed for a variety of reasons but I'm lucky enough to have a partner who has a salary that can support us both.

But also I love writing, all my life I just wanted to write and being unemployed this year during nano gave me the opportunity to try and do that.

And now I'm curious is there a way to get paid to be a writer? Not as a marketing copy writer but a fiction writer, or essayist?

So what does one do?

Should I just publish whatever I wrote on a blog and put up a donation button?

Should I just publish on Tumblr?

Should I do it on AO3/Wattpad?

I'm at a loss.

I also don't have social media only use Tumblr and a little BlueSky after twitter exploded, and I really don't want to go and "build an audience on TikTok and booktok" (please gods no).

ah, yes, the eternal question: "how do I make money as a writer?"

I wish I had a good answer. I wish I had any answer. and I would love for other writers on here to chime in with their perspectives, because I am constantly struggling to answer this question for myself!

to answer the specific questions first: there are websites that post jobs for writing gigs - fiction, essays, etc. the one I'm most familiar with is upwork, though I've never gotten a job myself through there so can't speak to the experience. I will say that writing jobs tend to be in high demand and writing in general can be quite competitive, so working on your resume and improving your craft is an important thing to do whether you're just starting out or have been writing professionally for years.

self-publishing is absolutely an option! if you do, I would recommend getting a beta reader (or just a few friends) to read through your manuscript before you publish - it's always good to get feedback and to get other eyes on your work, no matter how complete or polished, for typos/grammar/formatting/etc. I'd also recommend reading about the best ways to self-publish - again, I can't personally speak to this as my three novels were traditionally published, but I know that folks publish through Amazon a lot and there certainly have been successfully novels (and especially graphic novels!) that have started out as blog posts/blogs. I don't recommend publishing an original story to ao3 or Wattpad if you're hoping to make money (if you're publishing for fun, go for it!) - ao3, my beloved, is an archive and therefore does not allow you to link to any kind of patreon/kofi/etc., so can be difficult to monetize. I'm less familiar with Wattpad, but I do know that they are actively trying to get into the publishing game themselves and sometimes pluck stories from their site to bring up to trad publishing, which I've heard can be....a mixed bag.

but there are a lot of authors on here and on their personal websites writing about self-publishing, so there's definitely better info out there about how to do it and how lucrative it can be!

a very good rule for self-publishing imo - whether that's through a site like amazon, your own blog, a podcast, a webcomic, whatever - is always give people the option to pay you. so, yes, put that donation button up. it doesn't matter if no one has read or listened to your thing yet, just making sure the option is there from the start is a good thing!

that's about the extent of the straightforward answer I can give you. if I were to give you a step-by-step guide of how I got to a place where most of my income comes from fiction writing, it would look like this:

write your own fiction podcast, get some actors from acting class to come over to your apartment and record for free, and produce the whole thing yourself

publish said podcast and then spend the next 2 years spending as much time on social media, at conventions, conferences - anywhere there are fiction podcast fans and creators - as you can talking about your show, all while writing and producing the show for free

get lucky and have the show take off. start to get some ad money that allows you to pay your collaborators. watch the show get better as a result. see the show take off even more. keep grinding away at social media

get a cold email from a book agent who wants to talk to you. convince that book agent to represent the YA novel you want to write in the world of your podcast

expend whatever leftover energy you have on ensuring that when people think of fiction podcasting, they think of you, even if other names are coming first. be everywhere. talk to everyone. keep grinding away at social media.

get a cold email from a fiction producer in England who wants you to write on his show. convince him to let you co-showrun it with him.

use your growing network of audio friends to get an agent and manager. use those people to get a pitch to marvel. convince marvel to let you write a podcast for them.

finally quit your day job, after doing 4 seasons of a successful podcast and selling spin-offs to a tech company, getting a 3-book deal with a major publisher, being hired to co-showrun a big budget mystery, and selling a show idea to marvel. then make all of those shows.

finish the podcast you started with, now seven seasons long. try to pitch out other ideas to all the people who wanted to buy that podcast off of you. watch them say no to anything new.

get lucky and sit next to a netflix exec at a dinner. convince her to let you write a stranger things show.

keep pitching. use the money from your other jobs to fund your indie shows. sell one show. lose another halfway through development. have your ideas optioned for television over and over and get used to hearing no's when you go out to pitch. produce and direct as much as you can to pay the bills. keep grinding away at social media.

????????

profit

that's obviously a simplification of my journey but I'm currently in that ???? stage. I don't say all of this to freak you - or anyone else - out. being a creative is hard. it gets easier in some ways and stays just as hard in others. I'm better at my job than I used to, so making shows is easier, but getting jobs and getting audience feels as hard as ever, even if I am several steps ahead than where I started. I thought I could build off the success of @thebrightsessions to make my other originals instant successes and that's just not how it works at all. you're building from the next step up after every success, not the top of the staircase.

but, like I said, I'm not trying to scare you - the thing that's positive in my weird crazy journey is the reality that there is no one right way to do something. there's a million different ways to make a creative career, especially in the age of the internet. which means that my advice to anyone who asks me how to start a career in audio fiction specifically is: just do it. don't wait for someone to give you a budget, don't try to cater to what you think the AD audience wants, just tell your story as you want to and get it out there. the best job application is being able to point to your own original work that's already garnered an audience.

I have no idea if that could as readily apply to prose writing/publishing. that is definitely beyond my knowledge base, but I'd say if you want to get a taste for what it's like to be a freelance creative, apply to jobs on upwork or similar sites, work on your original work, and find a platform that works for you on which you could potentially build an audience. and then get to know as many people as you can in your given field - I would not be where I am at all without folks like Gabriel Urbina, or Jeffrey Cranor, or Jenny Turner Hall. making friends in audio drama from the start who could recommend me for jobs - and being sure that I do the same now that I have more power - is vital. make friends with your peers (also bc they're great and you'll learn so much from them).

finally, I want to pass on advice that my uncles gave me when I was a teenager wanting to go to broadway--both of them work in musical theater (one conductor, one musical director, they are quite the power couple and my heroes) and when I was growing up, they told me "if you can think of anything else that will make you just as happy, do that instead". it sounds like harsh advice, but it's good advice. people don't pick creative careers because it's easy and stable--if there's anything else you're equally passionate about that could make you money and be more stable, there is absolutely nothing wrong in pursuing that and then writing for the love and joy of it, without the pressure of making a living. and that doesn't mean that that won't eventually lead to you being a successful full-time writer! but choosing to pursue writing full-time because it's what you want to do with your life is a very particular kind of path.

anyway, I've gone on way too long. I hope some of this was helpful - the last-last thing I'll say is that a) I obviously have a very limited perspective so nothing I say here is the be-all-end-all way of viewing things b) I had a very stable data entry job while I was making my first show that was very flexible and work-from-home (oh, to be able to get that job back now...since the pandemic, those types of jobs are obviously in high demand) and c) I got lucky. luck and timing are, unfortunately, a huge part of success in creative careers. if anyone tries to sell you on the idea that there's a guaranteed path to success that you can control if you work hard enough, they are lying to you and probably want you to buy something.

finally-finally, a vampire gamer story sounds so fun!! I love that idea!

[amiharana]

Okay, so I've read a couple of Revalink soulmate AU fics but I can never get through them because honestly I've never really liked the concept. And honestly, I feel like there's a decent chance Link would feel the same.

I mean, you've got a guy who didn't really get to choose almost anything about his life - he's a knight because his father was, he's Zelda's guard because he was selected by the King, he's the chosen hero because he's destined for it - and then he doesn't even get to choose who he falls in love with? And in most soulmate AUs probably has a literal physical mark on his body constantly reminding him of that fact? That's not romantic, that's existentially horrifying!

This idea might already be a thing but I've never really read fanfic before about a month ago when I got the Revalink brainrot so I don't know, but here's an idea I call the anti-soulmate AU.

Basically Revali doesn't have whatever soulmate-identifying mark exists in this story, and Link does, which is part of why Revali resents Link while Link is in some ways envious of Revali for the opposite reason. Somehow they end up actually talking to each other and grow close, and eventually Link basically decides "fuck it, I don't care that there's some destined perfect partner for me, I'm choosing to be with this guy." And even though they provably aren't soulmates and their relationship maybe isn't perfect, they still love each other and are happy together.

There can be some angst about Revali feeling insecure since there is someone out there who objectively would be a better partner for Link even though Link doesn't actually want to be with them, and about how this is basically depriving Link's soulmate of their perfect partner. Who that person is doesn't really matter, but making it Mipha would add even more to her whole "tragic one-sided pining" thing. Or it could just be some random person, like I said it's kinda unimportant.

Anyway the Calamity happens, and since Link kinda-sorta-dies whatever soulmate mark he has goes too and he's finally totally free from it. I have no idea if that's a thing that happens in these AUs, like I said I don't really read them much, but it kinda makes sense and fits this story so whatever. Maybe have Revali be revived after Ganon's defeated so there can be a happy ending.

Revalink as a concept is always just a little bit contrived. You have to mess with the timeline of the backstory if you want them to be a thing pre-calamity, you need to change how the Champion ghosts work to have them be a thing mid-game, or you need to have all the champions come back from the dead in order to have them be a thing post-canon, and you almost always need to mess with their personalities to have it be even slightly plausible. It's always kinda messy and doesn't totally make sense, and in this story that would basically be true in-universe and that's exactly why Link wants to be with him. He's pretty much the exact opposite of a perfect, destined partner who fits together with Link flawlessly.

Sorry for basically writing the entire synopsis of a fic that doesn't exist and probably isn't even that good of an idea, but as I mentioned I have the Revalink brainrot and I have no friends who I can send ideas like this to and I need to tell them to somebody.

so first of all, NEVER apologize to me for writing a whole fic synopsis in my askbox. my friend, are you familiar with my blog? all i do is write the longest fic rambles in the world here instead of writing full-fledged fic to upload to ao3 ☝️😭 so please do not even worry!!! i like ur fic idea a lot and it's good!!! and if you'd like, we can be friends and u can do what crow cryiling (affectionate) does and spam my inbox or messages w your ideas whenever you want 🤍 i luv to hear about revalink always

i honestly really love soulmate aus because i'm a hopeless romantic 😭🤍 SORRY but i do agree that to write a really good soulmate au for revalink, you can't just put any soulmate au template on them. like revali himself will actively break the fourth wall to fight against it because it just doesn't fit their dynamic; their whole relationship is built off of defying fate, re:your second-to-last paragraph. canon botw doesn't outline a clear path for revalink to ever be together in the way it might for zelda, mipha, or sidon even, so we'll always have to bend or break the rules of their universe for even a glimpse of future where they can be happy together 🥹 but it's the best part of their dynamic: they weren't supposed to be together, but goddamn it do they look good together.

i remember reading a fic where link and revali did have soulmate-identifying marks (i forgot what it was called but link's soul mark was revali's entire monologue in the revali's flap memory, and link hated him for it LMAO), but the idea that link would despise seeing the mark is so 🥺💔 i'm imagining maybe link was so excited to have one as a child, but after pulling the master sword and becoming a knight of hyrule, he now sees how he's doomed his soulmate to being tied to him and how he's responsible for their future or whatever. link has gotta develop some sort of altruistic complex about how he has to serve the people even at the cost of himself, i can't articulate it well right now, but i hope you get what i mean??? but that influences his resentment at the existence of the soulmark — not that he resents the person who is his actual soulmate, just the fact that he has one because he views himself as a burden on his soulmate as a result of his current position in life.

revali being born without a soul mark makes me so sad 😭 mixing this with my hc about him being orphaned, but revali getting bullied for not only not having parents but also not having a soulmate 💔💔 some of these rito kids are dickheads talking about "the goddesses wouldn't grant you even one person who would love you, haha!" and it definitely influences his workaholic tendencies training to become to most powerful warrior ever. he copes by saying he thinks soulmates are ridiculous and that there was no way there was another person in the world who could be perfect for you, that you should be given the ability to choose who you wanted to be with (but deep down, revali wants to know who the goddess would have chosen for him, if he did have a soulmate ㅠㅠ)

what do you think the conversation between link and revali would be like when they decide they want to be together, soulmates or not? what about the moment they fall for each other? who falls first? would it be mutual pining and trying to resist at first, because revali knows link has a soulmate who he deserves more than revali and link holding back because he knows what revali feels about the whole soulmate thing? or do they fall in love without holding back anyway, with link not caring for his soulmate at all like you mentioned? making mipha link's soulmate........ so tragic i feel bad for her fr if link resented her for being his soulmate kJDFKJD 😭 i lowkey wanna write these scenes tho idk HAHAHAH

the soul mark disappearing after link "dies" and is put in the shrine of resurrection is a really interesting idea though! like what's the mechanics behind that? i feel you'd have to go back and decide how the soulmate system works; is it a mysterious magic that no one can figure out? is it decided by some god of fate or love, hyrule's counterpart to aphrodite/eros? how did the magic decide that because link was "dead", he can't have a soulmate anymore/disconnected him from his soulmate? or what if link's soulmate died during the calamity before he was put in the shrine and soulmate-logic was like 'if your soulmate is dead, the mark disappears' so link's mark fades mid-battle and he doesn't realize it? and furthermore, link waking up in the shrine a century later and looks at his hand or some shit where the mark used to be and either (1) feeling a strange sense of melancholy at the empty spot on his skin or (2) looking at it but feeling nothing at all, and continuing with getting out of the shrine.

you could also explore how soulmate dynamics change throughout the hundred years he's gone. i'm sure plenty of people died during the calamity and lost their soulmates, so how does that alter the whole societal norms and culture surrounding soulmates? are people still born with soulmates after the calamity? do you think it becomes a taboo, that it's dangerous to meet your soulmate because what if you lose them? or do they see it as a mark of fortune, that love still prevails even in this near godless world after an era of tragedy? and then how does link interact with the world following his awakening, to find out that people have soulmates and look back at the empty, unmarred part of his skin and wonder, did he have one too? who were they? did he love them, and did they love him too?

AND ANOTHER THING, if mipha was his soulmate back then, does she still have her soul mark on her ghost?????? what if she did because well. it's her spirit and not her actual body, so when link meets her again post-waterblight, she's saddened by not only link's lack of memory of her but also the fact he's lost his soul mark. and also remembering that link would still probably resent her if he had his memory.

furthermore, there's two scenarios that instantly come to mind when i think about post-calamity revalink here. (1) revali seeing link post-windblight but link doesn't remember and revali having a similar reaction/feeling to mipha, but is having an internal conflict about whether or not he should be happy that link no longer has a soulmate he's bound to or sad that because of that, he'll never have another chance with link again because he's dead </3 or (2) champions are revived but link still doesn't remember his time with revali pre-calamity so revali is trying to give link an out and let him go to be given the chance to love someone else in his new life, but for whatever reason link is still drawn to him, moving to rito village and practically living in revali's shadow. it's another slow-burn of them falling in love all over again and maybe link gets his memories back?

if you ever plan on writing this, my friend....... feel free to send it to me because i'd Love to read it. like fr. there's so much potential for this one

[tarabyte3]

It doesn't matter how old Obi-Wan is. Qui-Gon has known him since he was a child. He raised him and is a father figure to him. He shouldn't ever be attracted to him! How do you know see how creepy that is?

Not only that but people draw art of Obi-Wan as small and childlike in sexual situations with him all the time where you can see his padawan braid. So stop acting like thats ok. The whole ship is disgusting.

Okay, so you just like arguing with me specifically then? Is this our enemies to lovers arc? Are you flirting with me? You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.

Because you're not changing my mind here. All of this is just making me more stubborn. I will die on the Caesar hill, and I'm willing to die on the QuiObi hill, too.

Also, unfortunately, I cannot shut the fuck up and I'm sick of this. 🙃

Qui-Gon may have guided Obi-Wan as a mentor in the force, but he didn't raise him as a child in the way you imply. He didn't take Obi-Wan on as an apprentice until he was 13, and even then it was begrudgingly (he lost his previous Padawan, he was not interested in having another). He never showed affection or comforted him like a father figure. Instead, he actually fucked off a LOT and left his Padawan alone, so Obi-Wan half raised himself. Surprisingly, they didn't get along! They butted heads all the time! In several of the novels, Obi-Wan thinks about how complicated Qui-Gon is, how different they are, and how both of them are constantly struggling to understand one another. He reflects on how, despite that, they eventually (mostly) overcame their differences, became close over the years, and learned to work very well together. Like partners. He thinks about his friendship with Qui-Gon. Even in canon, it’s not as black and white as you make it out to be.

Plus, you do realize humans are complex beings. People change all the time. It's the consequence of being alive. Most people are not the exact same person from year to year, let alone 5, 10, or 12 years later. I’m sure as hell not. The nature of relationships change all the time, too. You can fall in and out of love with people. You can become estranged from them when you become too different from the people you were before. You can be friends with someone for years, and then, one day, something happens and suddenly you see them in a completely different light. For better or worse. That's love.

To your second point: My sibling in Satan, once again, you can be a Padawan and be an adult! They are not the same thing and it does not depend on age. Being a Padawan just means you're still learning to be a Jedi and all the responsibility and control that entails. How long that takes is different for everyone. Also, you do know that Obi-Wan is physically smaller than Qui-Gon, right? Like Ewan McGregor is 5’10”, but Liam Neeson is 6’4”. There is a natural 6 inch size difference between those two grown ass adult men. Like, have you seen what Obi-Wan's lightsaber looks like in his hand compared to in Qui-Gon's??!!? 🥵 Of course Obi-Wan looks smaller. He IS. It's not that deep, and it doesn't mean he's a fucking child! Stop being weird and gross about it.

And finally, and most importantly: THEY'RE. NOT. FUCKING. REAL. If you only look at them in The Phantom Menace, we know almost NOTHING about them, their relationship, or when they met. But even then, it still DOESN'T MATTER. Again, we're playing with dolls and making shit up! We can change it all to fit the way we want it! They can be whatever or whoever we want, in whatever capacity that means to us.

If you don’t personally like it, block the tag and move the fuck on, christ. It's not that hard! I shouldn't have to explain how to exist as a person on the Internet to you. I already have a child, I don't need another one.

Now good riddance ✌️

[newtthetranswriter]

Hi ! How are you ?

I'd love a match up with jjk , demon slayer and Tokyo revengers boys !

Im an ambivert on introvert side, at first im pretty shy and don't know how to talk but Very affectionative. Might not show it at first but will do and will get attached after getting to knowing you I have , im an Intp Im air-headed individual who seems to constantly wander off in thought , daydreaming and is unable to focus on anything but I think logically not emotionally, im very kind and will not hesitate to help with anything , im also really loyal and respectful towards my friends ! Im an easy going person and im chill with everything I sometimes talk with sarcasm and I don't really get people emotions but I can be really observant about little details and I love complimenting people and make their day better people say that I have very childish demeanor , I will protect my friends and will take a beating for them I tend to overthink alot if im making someone uncomfortable and other things and sometimes it lead me to mental breakdowns but I don't really show it

People always say that I'm a beauty and can be a model and I have a sweet voice, I have really good taste in fashion and always wear whatever makes me happy, I really like anime, Cosplay, books , cats , cooking, horror movies , playing video games and traveling

A/N: Hello, I hope you are having a great day. Sorry this took so long, I had covid and then I couldn’t get myself to write anything. Anyway I hope you enjoy and remember to hydrate or diedrate

Jujutsu Kaisen: Yuta Okkotsu

You balance each other out quite a bit

While Yuta thinks and acts with his emotions most of the time you are there to be a voice of reason

Both of you can be found just sitting together while both lost in separate day dreams and trust me the others like to make fun of you for it (Cough toge)

Yuta is extremely good with emotions in the sense that if he thinks you’re pulling back because of worry of being too much, he will do his best to reassure you that everything is fine

Expect many compliments and if you return any he will break, this boy does not know how to handle that

Yuta also enjoys just relaxing with you watching anime or playing games

Just a peaceful relationship consisting of compliments and the occasional pestering from a certain curse speech user

Demon Slayer: Kyojuro Rengoku

He may be very loud and outgoing but he needs someone who will help him relax on his few days off

Pull this man inside and make him take a break while you read a story to him

You may be more introverted but remember Rengoku will want to show you off to the other Hashira so be prepared for that

He will be giving you compliment after compliment and even if he hears people praise his fighting if you respond to a compliment with some along the lines of ‘you’re beautiful too’ he short circuits and can’t think

Don’t worry about being to much for this ball of fire cause he enjoys that you have child like side, it makes it easier to just have fun

The wonder in his eyes when he gets home from a long mission just to see you sitting in the sun off in a daydream, is just magical. He loves that you are so relaxed and carefree that you can let the world slip away for just an instant, so he won’t interrupt you, just quietly sit next to you and ask what you were thinking about when you finally notice he joined you

Tokyo Revengers: Keisuke Baji

This dude thinks exclusively with his fists so having some logical thinking would be good for him

Please for the love of toman do not let this idiot light shit on fire just because he’s hungry, make sure he only commits arson because it’s fun and not out of him being hangry

Anyway being with Keisuke means hanging out with Chifuyu alot, so congrats you get to be the brains for two idiots, just kidding it means you get two nerds to talk with when they aren’t out fighting

Expect to be dragged out to Toman meetings just so he can show off that he got such a beautiful partner, (bonus points if you flip the script and start bragging to the gang about how you got such a handsome boyfriend)

Many dates consisting of yakisoba and anime or horror movie marathons

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Roundup: Tumblr Prompts (May 9-16)

We're back in business, and that means I have to catch up on the weekly prompts!

Tsukihime

Kohaku healing. most of the prompts about Kohaku focus on her doing fucked up things, but I want to see her heal and recover from her trauma instead. maybe it's Nanaya, maybe it's post-Kohaku route, maybe it's something else, but i want to see her in a good state of mental health

Shiki Tohno/SHIKI Tohno - Noncon, Obsessive Tendencies SHIKI's latent care for his friend Shiki and his current hatred towards him coalescing, and showing love by hurting him. Good stuff like that.

Kohaku from an alternate universe where she is blue. (a glimpse into the author's twisted mind optional)

Shiki(Tohno) decides to fuck around and finds out

Kara no Kyoukai

Something around Ryougi Shiki and time loops, can be about the fifth movie or her falling back in love with Mikiya after the accident or legitimately anything with Shiki and timeloops please

Mahoyo

Aoko’s ‘oh shit i’m gay’ moment

Fate/Stay Night

artoria / issei / shirou polycule , it can optionally be framed as gilgamesh ,rin , luvia & sakura getting cucked

YAY THE ASKBOX IS BACK! To celebrate let's get dapper mustache saber some good head

Saber and Illya drinking. Can be platonic or romantic, I just want these two to share a drink together

smut Listen to me LISTEN to me Kirei and Bazett have ABSOLUTELY fucked. The idea that the two of them got intimate at some point makes Kirei's betrayal SOOO much more delicious.

Souichirou, Kiritsugu, Parent-teacher conferences. An incredibly awkward and/or tense meeting between two ex-assassins trying to put their pasts behind them. I’m kind of sad that I have literally never seen anyone write these two interacting in any way, especially when there are so many interesting things that they could talk about.

in an effort to learn more about his girlfriend, Shirou starts reading up on arthurian myths, like the canterbury tales or le morte d'arthur

Rin's magic powered attempts to grow boobs the size of her sister's go wrong and she's left a hu-cow

Fate/Zero

Fed up of arguing with Saber constantly over tactics, Kiritsugu uses his Command Spells to reduce her intelligence and leave her too dumb to question him

Fate/Extra

Julius, any ship. I need this man to get laid so bad. Hakuno (either gender) would be my favourite choice but anyone is good. No Leo incest though.

BB hacking (or otherwise hypnotising) Hakunon

Fate/Grand Order

a moment during the servant summer camp thing yan qing visits lanling in the cabin and they spend the day doing fun stuff, may or may not include smut

Post-Story Ritsuka rejoins society at large and starts hitting people with The Vibes. Narrated from someone outside the loop. Does not necessarily have to be Uncanny Valley levels of Vibes, but Weird Vibes must be there. Servants and/or Chaldea staff can and are encouraged to show up as co-workers/friends/romantic partners to add more of The Vibes.

smut, weight gain/stuffing Please, please, please, I NEED to see Mephistopheles stuff Guda with sweets (cute German pet names optional).

smut Lancelot keeps seeing Mash as Galahad. Mash keeps seeing Lancelot as a deadbeat father. It sucks! They want to be able to have a normal conversation for once! The solution? The two should have sex. Now THAT has to get them to stop seeing each other in a familial light, right? The more uncomfortable you make your fill the better. Also you don't have to go all the way, if you write one of them quitting mid sex or even just the aftermath of said sex that is perfectly fine by me.

Douman gets punished for messing up the ask box

smut Anything with Douman and their claws? I'm thinking in lines of smut. Preferably Douman X Guda but whatever floats your boat is great

rin & luvia awaken to find that foreigner molay is going to sacrifice them to her goddes. both of them are futily struggling against their restraints when tiamat arrives. but tiamat starts scolding molay for missing breakfast , and after tiamat gives molay the dissapointed parent look ™ rin & luvia are quickly transformed into new versions of the dark young. their minds & souls aren't shoved into plush toys like what happened to ritsuka , rather their minds & souls are stored in a pair of statues adorning an altar & could only watch on in horror as their bodies take up the duty of being the cults security guards.

U-Olga resurrects Lev/Flauros to serve as her apostle

Instead of fighting 7 crypters during the lostbelt, Ritsuka must fight 7 alternative versions of themselves all who allied themselves with a Beast and remade their own Human History according to the Beast's Ideals, Goetia, Tiamat, Kama, Koyanskaya, Draco, Olga Marie and an unknown Beast(This one up to the author)

Mages Association plans on taking Ritsuka's off most of chaldea's servant because they did not plan for a single human to have control over so many servants and gather so much power. Ritsuka is fine with dividing his servant among other master, his servants on the other hand, not so much

I really liked that Goetia prompt. What if sequel where they settle in the Wandering Sea and he sees Nero and Tamamo and warns Guda of their nature?

Anything with Maou Nobu and Third Ascension Draco in it, be they fucking, being friends, fucking around, finding out

May i get Shuten being a mouthy bitch before getting plowed into a cum puddle by the Futa she was teasing? (Much to her own Delight cause that's what she was hoping for)? Even better if her horns are used as Handlebars for further railing power.

Castoria finds out the Chaldea Database lists her and her peers as "Altria" and she is FUCKING PISSED

Hessian and Lobo get tasked with sitting together for all the other dogs which Chaldea has accumulated over time.

MashMorgan, a day at the aquarium. They're yuri enough to have an aquarium date. As a treat.

AmaSali - gore, monster sex (dubcon optional). Third tier Salieri's kinda hot right? Right. Looking for something with a monstrous Salieri losing his last semblance of self control and having his way with Amadeus. Amade can be into it from the start or slowly get into it, but I want it to end with him having a great time whether or not you decide to make it dubconnish. I love the idea of Salieri being incapable of touching Amadeus without hurting him. Use his claws to really screw Amadeus up, even if he's only touching him to move him or the like. Lots of gashes dripping blood would be good, and purposefully harming him would be even better. (would be based as hell to have his intestines hanging out as he gets fucked, just saying…) It would be super cool to have Salieri have inhuman anatomy too! He's become a monster in the true sense of the word, so lean into it! (this is just an excuse for knotting mostly but you can go as ham as you want)

Goredolf Musik, any ship. my man Gordy deserves to get some so get this guy shipped! Any ship is good, and feel free to go wild over kinks and scenarios you want.

loli tw fionn/beni-enma, oral sex. i think they're really cute. fionn eating her out is all i'm really looking for but you can do whatever else you want

Asterios/Habetrot, height difference. Anything about these two would be good but I'd give you my firstborn if you include their massive-ass height difference. porn welcome but not mandatory.

smut, noncon tw KiaraxEmiya Alter noncon NSFW, Noncon, Tentacle (/Demon God) Noncon. On top of the cult massacre and how EmiAlter was implied to end up killing Taiga and her son, Kiara also broke and twisted EmiAlter's spirit by forcing him to drown in her brand of pleasure. Fast forward to (insert any convenient point of time where Kiara already has demon god inside her) where Kiara retraumatized him and tentacle raped him until he no longer has the will to fight back.

smut Castoria gangbang. I need Castoria to be the central point of an orgy. It can be named characters it can be a faceless mob either is fine I just need her to get absolutely RAILED. Bonus point if you get her filled and/or covered in cum. Dubcon/Noncon ok, but I want her to get pleasure out of it please!

U-Olga gets summoned and proceeds to gee bullied and harassed by literally everyone in Chaldea

barbatos possesses BB as an attempt to get revenge on ritsuka. but unfortunately for BB , barbatos has wound up incredibly masochistic due to being farmed so much. barbdos is enjoying a visit to BSDM dungeon & is having the time of their life when they get used as a rubber drone by the other patrons & bb's despair of losing control of her body only serves to make the demon pillar more horny.

I have a MIGHTY NEED for some Gay Girls in Lingerie tbh. Not picky about the fandom but the only one I'm familiar with is FGO so that's the preferred.

Ritsuka has been through a lot, and her body shows it, there is not a single part of her that isn't scared, both physically and mentally, she always tries to hide it and because of that no servant has permission to enter her room, not even Mash. But once Van Gogh is summoned, she breaks that rule before anyone can tell her about it

Altria is confused on why Americans keep insisting her name is Artoria.

i want to see Arcueid and Yu talking in Chaldea about being true ancestors

Buff Marie Antoinette rampaging through France and dominating everyone she met until she subdues Jalter in public. (There is an actual manga about buff Marie Antoinette btw)

Knights of the Round Table having an existential crisis after learning that Caster Artoria is not actually an artoria, but a younger version of Morgan

guda gets jack to put on a pair of pants

smut I honestly want saito fucking okita so hard that not only she passes out, but she’s still sore as hell when she wakes up

Hijikata sending the Shinsengumi… on a quest for pickles and takuan, maybe some mayo too.

Lancelot in extreme anguish(Humorous) as he discovers his child(Mash) is fucking the alternative universe version of his Mom(Morgan, who is also Vivian, who is Lancelot's mom)

guda ends up in a re7 scenario somehow

Koyanskaya of Light slowly realizes that OOPS, she's starting to actually fall for Ritsuka Fujimaru, as told through a series of BDSM sessions with the former as the domme and the latter as the sub. She tries to keep their relationship strictly professional, and predictably fails.

smut Altria fucking Artoria explicitly framed as Arturia getting cucked.

Lancelot undergoing intense mental anguish(humorous) when he realizes his technical child, Mash, is fucking the Queen of (Fairy) Britain

Xu Fu and Ritsuka hiding in the bushes watching Yu Mei Ren and Xiang Yu have a date

David, Romani, or Sheba talking with Morgan to see if they are worthy of dating Mash.

Angra stitching all over Ritsuka's skin as a form of therapeutic harm, recreating the same imagery as his tattoos with the stitches

Among us in fate/go????? I know among us is dead but idc, can either be based on the game or gudao summons the imposter

Gudako mostly jokingly says something along the lines of "I think men should dress sluttier" nearest male servant takes this seriously.

smut What if goetia and master fucked at the end of the world before or after they start beating each other to death

Cleopatra/Caesar, caesar should get pegged by his wife

the servant summer camp event but for some reason it repeats. also gudao/gudako realizes that outsmarting cliches won’t work this time, so he/she has to find a way to avoid the cliche without having to see the others die from the failed attempt at outsmarting the cliches, may or may not include save scumming to achieve it

smut, incest tw In attempt to help Lancelot stop seeing Mash as Galahad/Help Mash stop seeing Lancelot as a deadbeat father, they decide to have sex. Would appreciate if you made it as uncomfortable as humanly possible. You don't have to go all the way through btw if you want to write one of these two quitting midway through that's way welcomed.

Any Fandom

Pairing of your choice with a prey/predator dynamic. Smut very welcome but asexual kink is cool too. I just want two (or more) people chasing growling & wrestling each other. You understand. I really want either a chase scene or some sort of hide and seek... either playing up the anticipation of "oh man i can't get caught or i'll be (fucked/bitten/lose this really soecific competition)" of the prey or the "boy i gotta WORK to get this lad" of the predator. Any kind of consent (or lack of thereof) situation is fine, but I do want everyone to be into it. Tbh I struggle so much to find stuff for this specific kink feel free to ad lib as wanted I'll be really happy either way ^^

Any Artoria, facial hair. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I NEED BEARDED SABER INJECTED IN MY BLOODSTREAM. If not facial hair I am also amenable to fuckton of body hair elsewhere. Please I just want more hairy ladies in my life.

Aftermath of sex pollen. So your buddy got hit by the curse of Fuck Or Die, and you fucked it out of their system. Great! How do you handle the aftermath? You just fucked your bff (and/or crush) how do you deal with the awkwardness? do you talk about it? do you just kinda ignore it? i wanna know!! (you can write the sex pollen too if you want but i mostly want the aftermath) Preference would go to Guda/Ereshkigal as a pairing, but any other character is fine ^^

Any, kink negotiation. I wanna see characters in the process of trying out a new kink. Not particularly looknig for porn (tho do feel free to include it,) but I mean everything around it. Maybe one character breaking to another character that they wanna try a new kink. Maybe a couple looking for kink gear, or discussing the dos and dont of a scene, or trying to find the perfect person to ask for a threesome.

piss Any Canonical Master/Servant Pair - Piss Drinking. If cum, blood, and saliva can all be used to transfer mana, there's no reason to think other bodily fluids can't do the same. This prompt is exactly what it sounds like - a Master replenishing their Servant's mana with some piss. Any Master/Servant pairing that's been in canon is fine! That said, I do have some favorites I'd particularly like to see - I'm fond of Rin, Waver, and Kirschtaria for Masters, and Amadeus, Nero, and Enkidu for Servants. But if you're not interested in writing for any of those, feel free to write for a pairing of your choice. I'll be happy regardless.

I would like a story based on the phrase "Don't touch me, but please don't leave me" someone who is extremely afraid of connection and of being hurt by it, but also can't stand being alone and left behind, always longing for someone, while being eternally afraid of being seen

Crossover

I've seen some people hold the belief that Arcueid would be super into Ryougi Shiki, but what if it was the opposite? What if Ryougi was super into Arc instead?

personally i wanna see kiara peg gojo.

trigun & fgo crossover where all four iterations of trigun is trapped in a singularity that chaldea has to fix. bonus points if knives is helping chaldea to fix the singularity while vash and his pals is against it

what if fgo servants of trigun cast? but each ascension is different version of them?(tristamp, badlands, trimax, 98 anime)

Planet Gunsmoke/No Man's Land is a Lostbelt that Chaldea has to deal with. Million Knives is the Lostbelt summoned servant(temporary). Vash the Humanoid Typhoon/the Stampede is the Lostbelt's King. Post-Lostbelt is Vash and Million Knives getting summoned as two in one servants like the dioscuri

Vash and Million Knives, Chaldea's newest two-in-one Archer servants interacting with other chaldean servants, preferably siblings like the Trung Sisters, Nobunaga and Nobukatsu, Dioscuri, et cetera.

[lizbethborden]

Here is, at last, an itemized list of my various problems and thoughts with The Fall of the House of Usher. Before you block, unfollow, report, and make a callout post, please be aware that I have an extensive blackmail list. Grazie

Flanagan is flanagan and incapable of not being moralizing and didactic. I think he takes one of Stephen King's problems to the nth degree which is a kind of... sentimentalism and a belief that Good Can Come From Horror. The need for horror to be meaningful and redemptive and in some capacity... joyous? Or at least morally Useful in the fashion of Victorian lit? doesn't make amazing art

He needs to let go of constantly casting his wife and their friends. Every time he brings in someone who's not in the "inner circle" they contribute more strongly and effectively than everyone else.

Case in point, Mary McDonnell. I know I came into the show liking her due to BSG Brainrot and Laura Roslin Pussy Disease, but frankly she can be inconsistent especially with bad directing; whereas here I think she actually provides a very strong foundation because, even though she's working with substandard material, she doesn't have to stretch herself very far to play Steely, Soft-Spoken Matriarch so she does ok--and "ok" is better than a lot of the rest of the cast. Same thing with Mark Hamill: he was such a bright point in this show and it was a great use of his skills in transforming physically as well as vocally. Carl Lumbly similarly did his absolute best with shite material and his role as being functionally a prop/occasional commentator in the frame narration.

The same thing happened when he brought in T'Nia Miller in Bly Manor and she blew the roof off that show. But now she's folded into the inner circle and she does amazing with what she's got, but pLEASE free her.

STOP. CASTING. KATE SIEGEL. PLEASE!!!!! And STOP casting that man playing Young Roderick, he gave NOTHING to the role, he contributed NOTHING. Mr. Gerald's Game literally carried the Roderick characterization all on his own. Can we say if he did well? Perhaps he didn't. But he was putting in the work.

There is an obsessive need to do too much, all at once, that really kills whatever minor crumbs of decent writing or atmosphere they manage to sprinkle around. Why do we need so many references to Poe that have so little to do with the original stories? Wouldn't it be more effective to pick 2-3 and do them right in a more tightly written story than to swing the bat at 8-10 works and maybe only hit 1 or 2 out of the park?

😭 listen, I'm not a genius nor can I or would I ever claim to understand the Black experience. But I certainly doubt a gay Black man in a government job in the 1970s would namedrop his male partner to a complete, white, heterosexual stranger, not even as a manipulative technique to create false intimacy or camaraderie. (Similar thing happened in Bly Manor where a Black woman who wanted to be a high-powered lawyer(?) took a job as a lawyer(?)'s NANNY to try to get a career opportunity with him? Um?) (Question marks after each instance of lawyer because I remember VERY little about the show honestly.)

The treatment of bisexuality as this decadent bourgeois predatory sexuality is actually INSANE in Usher. Please believe me when I say I am pro "bad rep," but Flanagan does not have a good history of thoughtful treatment of sexual minorities, especially female ones (cf. treatment of Trish [also an example of exoticising and marginalizing racism] and Theo [and to some extent Nell] in Hill House, the Jamie/Dani storyline in Bly Manor). And the way sex overall is portrayed and handled is soooo Everyone Is Beautiful And No One Is Horny.

There is this problem with all of Flanagan's adaptations, and Bryan Fuller does the same thing (I've seen it in both Hannibal and American Gods), where they just wholesale poach lines from the author's narration or other works and give it to their characters as dialogue. In this one they even have the grotesque indecency to have Roderick be the "author" of multiple of Poe's poems. HOW? WHY? HOW? WHY? Additionally, when they do this with the narration, it doesn't make sense as dialogue. Human beings don't talk like that except in very rare instances or if they're very pretentious. It just doesn't make sense. It's a failure of writing and imagination on the adaptor's part because they're not confident in their ability to visually create the atmosphere that the written line conjured and it's actually pathetic.

[ruvviks]

AND!!!! inner life for reid. please. please. pl

oc asks!

SELF: how is your oc's relationship with themself? does your oc like who they are? is there anything about themself that they would change?

for the sake of not writing six billion paragraphs for each question i will stick to the current reid which is the reid who is no longer a cunt and is niceys and good =^)

so basically reid hates himself and that could already answer all these questions but i'm going to continue talking anyway. his past is definitely haunting him big time and the more time passes and the closer he grows with the people who used to oppose him and the more he learns about them, the worse he's starting to feel and the more he spirals. he's constantly making an effort to be the best version of himself now that he's realized his past mistakes but it's exhausting him because he's trying way too hard. does not now how to relax at all. could kill him one day

he mostly just hates himself for the things he did to cassidy specifically and even though cassidy is already over it and is just enjoying the time he has with his friend now, reid can't let it go. he would love to be able to go back in time and do it all over again, but also doesn't mind having been the villain in cassidy's story if that at least meant that cassidy would end up with his current partner and be in much better hands because of it. he's so complicated

KNOW: how well does your oc know themself—their wants, their goals, their motivations? do they engage in any sort of self-reflection? is there anything about themself they willfully ignore?

reid has had a lot of time to think. and reflect. he was basically held in captivity in a safehouse for about a year and he didn't really talk to anyone other than the occasional guy who came to bring him food or whatever and mostly himself. wasn't fun but on the other hand it made him very Very aware of some of his flaws and shortcomings that had led him in that very position. so. both a loss and a win. a neutral if you will

he was always very ambitious and mainly just wanted to be influential and. well. good enough. for who??? who knows!! not me!!!! not him!!!!!! nowadays he still really just wants to be needed. he wants to be able to make himself useful and he doesn't want to feel like a waste of space or like he's bothering people and he really just wants to feel part of something. but also feels like he doesn't deserve it. HE'S COMPLICATED OK

he still has. um. some Issues. that he is definitely ignoring and pretending to not see. i won't elaborate. secret. this is unrelated to him falling in love again at some point btw like we already know who he ends up dating. this is a New secret. don't even worry about it

CARE: how does your oc engage in self-care, if at all? if they don't, why not?

lol reid is stupid he doesn't know what that is. his parents never went to the doctor with him how is he supposed to take care of himself when he doesn't even know what Care is </3 that's a lie actually he takes care of those around him so much but he just thinks he's making himself useful. which is different than taking care of people. or something. he cannot make himself useful by taking care of himself.? AS I SAID. COMPLICATED. HE'S STUPID

FOR GOOD: is there anyone in your oc's life who had an undeniable positive impact on who they are as a person? how did knowing this person improve your oc's life?

right now it's mostly four people. i will try to keep this brief

kitty: reid's older sister who is so fucking important to him. he will kill for her he will die for her he will live for her. he will not try to like her husband for her though. which is why they ended up growing apart. but kitty divorced her husband and now they're on speaking terms again =^) kitty taught him so much because their parents just hated them and well someone had to make sure reid wouldn't fucking die once he would move out. so. there's that

cassidy: reid is still alive because of cassidy first and foremost. cassidy didn't want reid to die and that's the only reason he's still here right now and reid KNOWS this. and cassidy's kindness and forgiveness has done more for reid than maxtac has ever taught him. which i'm normal about

luci: reid is also still alive because of luci. they met at aubrey's club bodytalk when luci started working there and was the first to befriend reid from a completely neutral perspective because he didn't know about reid's past. HE DOES NOW DON'T WORRY but him not knowing at first has been vital for the development of their relationship. it's shown reid that he Can move on from it and is Allowed to move on from it

seb: i'm not going to elaborate this one yet it's just funny to put his name here without explanation. for everyone who doesn't know: seb wanted reid dead for a good while <3

FOR BAD: is there anyone who had an undeniable negative impact on your oc’s life? how did your oc deal with that change? have they been able to move on?

HIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FATHER and also every single corpo cunt he had to work with. reid is so easily influenced by other people because he feels this strong desire to just fit in and be considered Normal. and it ruined him. turned him into a shell of a man and just some other corpo cunt and it caused him to never have an actually good and healthy relationship with cassidy and he still beats himself up for it

as for his father. reid has deleted the guy from his memory. but he won't be able to keep doing that for long. sorry

INTIMACY: is your oc the type of person to engage in long-term relationships, or are they more casual in their intimacy and affection? how do they feel about intimacy and relationships in general?

reid used to have a lot of flings and used to be very casual about it all. loved physical contact with people but only when he was in control of it because people coming too close to him would cause him to shut down. but he didn't really know that and didn't really know how to handle it so he would always just get angry because that was the default emotion that was behind all of it. he deals a lot better with it now don't worry

nowadays he prefers to actually take things seriously because he needs deeper (lol) connections with people. none of his shallow relationships survived and he can't put himself. or others for that matter. through all of that again. he wants to be close with people and still likes to be physically close with his friends but nowadays hesitates with initiating anything because he no longer feels like it's his place to do so. COMPLICATED

[w0rm3y]

Playing With Serpents

Chapter One

Word Count- 3.5k

Warnings- Death, Angst, Mentions of Human Trafficking, Violence

February 25th, 2019

"It's empty, Dion," Quinn spoke through the small radio attached to my hip. "There's nothing up here at all." I frowned, confused.

"What do you mean, nothing?"

"The girl is not here." She replied, huffing in frustration.

I don't blame her. I was equally frustrated. We had been following these guys for months, watching their every move, day and night, and yet they weren't here. They're always here.

"Quinnie, you know I don't mean to question you but are you sure? We watched them walk inside yesterday and there hasn't been anyone out of there."

"I'm not blind, Dion. No one is here. Come and look for yourself if you don't believe me."

I sighed and gathered my stuff from the ground. After doing another swift check around the bottom floors, I quickly climbed the stairs to meet my partner. As soon as the tall spitfire saw me, she rolled her eyes and motioned for me to take a glance at the 'nothing' that surrounded us.

"I'm not a liar."

"I didn't say you were." I retorted and waved my flashlight around the dark, damp, rotting room. "They have to be in here somewhere. Where would they have gone?"

"Maybe you didn't secure your area well enough-,"

I cut her off sharply, "It's secure." Out of my peripheral vision, I saw her cast me a smart-assed glare.

"Doesn't feel good to have someone question you, does it?"

Instead of encouraging her, I made my way over to the wall. Taking off my glove, I slowly trailed my fingertips over the peeling wallpaper.

"What are you doing?"

"I have watched this building for two weeks straight. Not once did I see someone leave, therefore, they are still here."

Quinn scoffed, "And you think they're in the walls?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes at her constant pessimism.

"Did the bright, and oh-so-smart Quinnie-girl have a better idea?"

"Yeah, maybe let's abandon this stupid mission. We've been looking for his daughter for years, Dion-,"

"And you act like she's only a figment of our imaginations. We've seen her. We've gotten so close to finding her and you want to quit?"

"If I'm being honest, Dion, the pay sucks. You'd think this billionaire diplomat or whatever would be able to pay a little more."

Quinn was a great partner and a wonderful friend, aside from constantly looking at the dark side of things. I'd go as far as to say she was my best friend. She was strong and smart, always reliable but recently her attitude has shifted. Quinn started to feel discouraged by our lack of answers in this mission. Once again, I can't blame her. We had been looking for this girl for years and always came up empty-handed.

The 'billionaire diplomat' as Quinn liked to call him, was exactly that. A billionaire from a remote part of Europe. We'd never met him but our bank accounts were funded every month for our endeavors. His name was Sebastian Catticus, at least that's what it says in the letters he sends us.

Which, even though I have no children, pulled on my heartstrings every time. Of course, it crossed my mind whether or not this whole thing was just a wild-goose chase for some fake girl, but with the evidence and the large sum of cash this man was willing to drop, I felt as though she was real.

So, I continued to search for her. And I would continue to, with or without Quinnie.

"Come on, Dion. You know, next week makes three years that we've been looking. Yes, we've almost got her but she keeps slipping through. Maybe it's a sign that-,"

"That we need to try harder."

Quinnie paused, pursing her lips, mulling over the idea. She seemed hesitant but finally, after a few seconds, she caved and started to feel along the damp wallpaper with me.

"What are we looking for exactly?" She asked from across the room.

"Some kind of hidden opening."

"What about a crawl space door?"

I stalled, looking over my shoulder. Quinnie, with her foot, pushed the small door open. The hinges creaked as it gave way to a tiny vent-like hallway.

"I think that might be it," I said, walking over to examine the door.

"I'll go first, I guess. I'll let you know what's on the other side." She bent down, getting on her knees. Just before she started to crawl forward, I stopped her.

"Be careful, okay?"

She rolled her eyes, scoffing at me before turning forward again. Just as she got into the crawl space, only in as far as her shoulders, she stopped.

"Dion-," She quipped, her voice a mere whisper.

Before I could answer, a swift but soft whistle sound rang out from the tunnel. And my heart sank.

I knew exactly what that sound was, even before Quinn's body slumped onto the floor. Blood quickly started to flow down the grooves in the musty wooden floorboards. I seemed to be cemented to the floor in shock even as her blood thickened and pooled around my boots.

March 4th, 2024

"I think about her frequently. Quinn, I mean." I finally said, answering Dr. Reeder after a few moments of contemplation. The firm forces me to attend these therapy sessions once a month, even after all this time.

Dr. Reeder looked surprised that I had spoken. Five years after the incident and 40 therapy sessions later, I finally opened up. It was embarrassing that it's taken me this long but I figure the firm isn't going to let up on these mandated meetings unless I make progress. I wasn't sure who came up with the concept of 'talking about feelings' to make yourself feel better but they were wrong. At least they were wrong when it came to me. I was more of a suffer-in-silence type of person rather than confiding in a total stranger. If there was one thing I learned over these last five years is to never allow yourself to feel vulnerable. That's how accidents like Quinn's death happen.

"And what about the girl? What about Eden?" He asked, peering up from his notebook and over the top of his glasses. My mouth dried.

He always looked at me like that. Even when I didn't answer, he'd still stare me down as if he was trying to crawl into my mind and figure me out. Truth was, there wasn't much to figure out. I was depressed and anyone that had a brain could see it.

"There's not much to think about in regards to her, is there?" I tried to keep the animosity from seeping into my tone but it was hard. "We're still looking for her," I mumbled, picking at the tread of my shoe and avoiding any kind of eye contact.

"Do you think you blame her for Quinn's death?"

His words made my heart beat rapidly in my chest. Of course, it made me angry but I had spent all this time looking for this young girl, dedicating my life to the search and it took my best friend. I was conflicted at the most.

Was I angry about Eden?

Or was I angry that Quinn was gone?

Before I could respond, the timer started to ring, signaling this session was over. I wiped my palms on my pants and stood from the leather chair.

"This was the first time I had heard your voice, Dion. Are you sure we can't extend this meeting a little longer?"

When I stayed silent, Dr Reeder nodded, accepting my lack of response as his answer.

"Well, progress is progress. You did well today." He stood from his chair and walked me to the door.  "You know my phone is always available to you." I felt his smile as I crossed the threshold into the corridor of his office building. I knew he only offered the phone because he got paid extra to take calls outside of working hours. Nonetheless, I never called. I don't think he expected me to, either.

The chauffeur opened my door for me as soon as I stepped outside. He came with me to these sessions to make sure I attended them and didn't leave early. I appreciated the effort but it was annoying to have someone babysitting you.

I was 24, I didn't need a babysitter. When we made it back to the office, just as I sat down in my chair, Edgar walked in carrying a stack of papers. I welcomed the extra work.

I welcomed anything to take my mind off the bad stuff.

I worked in a Private Investigation firm so there was no better place to get your mind off the bad stuff than looking at other bad stuff that could be worse.

"Hi, Eddie." I greeted, forcing a smile as he placed the papers on my desk.

"Morning, Dion. How was your dentist appointment?"

"You'll never guess, I have another cavity." I cracked a smile as Eddie groaned.

"It's all that candy you eat. I'm surprised you're not bigger than you are." He teased and reached into his back pocket, pulling out an envelope and handing it to me with a smile. "Your monthly letter, too."

I lost my smile and took the letter from his hand.

"Is this the month when you tell me who your secret admirer is?"

"Is it that important to you?" I asked, placing the envelope in my desk drawer for safekeeping.

"It keeps me up at night, Dion. I need to know who is so interested in you. I mean, no offense, you of all people? Where is my secret admirer?" He joked, running his hand through his hair.

"Probably in your head, next to where you keep your arrogance and ego. Now, out. I have work." Eddie rolled his eyes but quickly departed after saying his goodbyes.

Eddie was a good friend but he was so overbearing. He was a wonderful mind occupier but sometimes I just needed to be alone. Especially, when I had a letter from Mr. Catticus.

This entire part of my life was a secret from everyone except for my boss, Jericho Greyson, and Dr. Reeder. He set up my mission with Mr. Catticus and he's the one who's been forcing me to these monthly therapy sessions. Jericho and Dr. Reeder are the only ones who truly know what happened to Quinn.

To everyone else, I had monthly dental work, a secret admirer, and a best friend who died in a car crash. If I was being honest, my constant lying was bothersome and borderline exhausting. I skimmed through his letter when I knew I was completely alone. It was the same letter I had read over and over again. Same sob story and the same wants. After years of reading these letters, I had grown to hate them.

  I should've just given up like Quinn wanted to do, but in a way, I felt as though I'd be letting her down. I'd feel as though her death was for nothing. That entire week I had spent working on side cases through the day and then at night, staking out the places where I thought Eden might be.

March 9th, 2024

I checked the clock on my phone as I walked into my quaint motel room. 2:18 in the morning. What an awesome way to spend my Friday night.

This weekend, I was checking out a small city in Southeast Ohio. A place that was notorious for human trafficking. I already looked around the couple of places I thought they might have been holding her but no luck. Like always.

I groaned and pulled off my shoes, collapsing face-first into the hard, dusty bed. Just as I was about to drift to sleep, a sharp knock rapped on the hotel door.  I jolted up from the bed and reached for my gun. I checked the time again, thinking maybe I did fall asleep and this was the maid crew coming to clean my room the next morning.

2:20 am.

Who is knocking on my door this early in the morning? I pressed myself as close to the wall as I could and made my way to the door. Quickly, I tried to look through the peephole but that proved ineffective, someone had scribbled over the peephole with a marker. I listened and heard faint sniffling from the other side followed by quiet whimpers.

I knew that opening the door to a stranger wasn't the brightest idea but someone was out there. Someone was crying which could mean they needed help. After all, it could be someone that was hurt.

So after convincing myself, I pulled the door open and peered around the edge of it.

Kneeling on the ground was a blindfolded woman with her wrists tied together in front of her. Her ratted blonde hair dangled over her face. Dirt, blood, and scars stained her pale skin. I looked down each side of the hallway, making sure there was no one in sight before helping the woman to her feet.

She struggled to stand, almost like she was a baby deer, only birthed ten minutes ago. The woman wobbled as I led her into the room. She was still sniffling as she felt around her as much as she could with bound wrists, making sure she wasn't going to bump into anything. I wasn't going to let her anyway.

When the back of her knees hit the bed, she slowly took a seat. I reached forward and untied the blindfold. She winced as the light caught her eyes. 

However, the light was only a dimly lit lamp, nothing to wince over. Well, nothing to wince over if you've seen light every day for your entire life. This woman had been locked away for years. Her sickly pale skin and aversion to light only made that more evident. 

She avoided eye contact as I sat across from her. More tears dripped out of her familiar eyes. Even covered in bumps and bruises, I knew who this woman was.

"Eden," She flinched at my voice. "Your name is Eden, right?"

She swallowed hard before looking forward, sucking in any emotion she had portrayed tonight.

"It's Sunshine, actually." She whispered, blowing her ratted bangs out of her face. "It's a hundred for thirty minutes."

"Wait-,"

"You probably already know the spiel, but G. still makes me say it."

As incoherent nonsense spilled out of my mouth, Eden began stripping off her tattered clothing. When my mouth proved useless in stalling her efforts, I quickly turned around, covering my eyes for good measure.

"Are you alright?" With all that confidence she was able to muster and it still wasn't enough to hide the broken tone in her voice. "Hey, your timer started as soon as you let me in."

"I didn't-," Once more, my mouth betrayed me. With another deep breath, I stared straight at the stained wall in front of me, trying to come up with anything to say. However, Eden beat me to it.

"Is it your first time?" Her pale hand danced across my shoulder and I flinched away from her. "We can go slow-,"

"Put your clothes on," I stated, nearly biting my tongue in the process. "Now," I emphasized when I didn't hear the shuffling of her clothing.

"Of course," Like a beaten dog, she retracted her arm and obeyed. "I am clothed now."

I turned around and looked at the woman that I had been looking for for years now. She was delivered to my door and dropped off like a parcel. Surely, this had to have been a mistake. A very interesting coincidence but a mistake for sure.

Why on earth would the people who have held her captive for years just decide to drop her off to me? Was this some sort of setup? Were they waiting for me outside the door, ready to kill me to stop this ongoing chase?

Or maybe, they'd had enough of constantly looking over their shoulders every second of every day and decided to rid themselves of the problem. Regardless, they had done my job for me. Now, it was only a matter of figuring out if they had done it for my benefit or their own. "Eden-,"

"It's Sunshine," She quipped, crossing her arms. "I do not know who Eden is."

Do I have the wrong girl? Could that be possible?

I had spent years studying pictures of this girl. Granted, all of them were her as a little girl but still, I could not mistake those eyes for anyone's but Eden's. They were the deepest shade of honey I had ever seen. Not to mention, the small freckle that was on her lower brow bone.

She even had the cowlick in her hairline that made it part to the side, no matter how much they tried to make it part down the middle.

No, there was no way this wasn't Eden Catticus.

"You can send me away now but you'll have to pay for the whole time," She said, making her way towards the door. However, before she could open it, I slammed it shut again.

"Why did they bring you here?"

"I don't know, G. just drops me off," She flinched away from me.

"This isn't right," I backed away from her. "They wouldn't just drop you off to me. If they thought you were a burden, they would've surrendered you a long time ago. Unless they need to get us both together...," I thought aloud.

"Right," She forced a laugh and leaned her back against the door, and not so subtly reached for the door handle. "I'll be going-,"

"You're not going anywhere," I pulled her away from the door. With a quick peek around the corners to make sure the hallways were as I suspected, I made my decision. "Since there are gunmen hiding in the doorways down the hall, we'll be leaving out the window."

"What?! I'm not going anywhere with you!" She exclaimed and tried to get around me to the door but I grabbed a hold of her shoulders to stop her. "Let me go-!"

"I know this seems really scary to you right now but I swear to God, I am only here to save you."

"Save me? From what?"

"I'll explain later. Right now, we need to get out of this building."

When I dragged her towards the window, she fought harder against my grip.

"We are on the second story! Are you crazy?!"

There was a chance that I was being over dramatic but if that meant it saved us from whatever these men had planned for Eden and I, I would take the title and wear it with pride.

"Hotel windows don't even open-," I picked up the rickety old chair in the corner and smashed it against the window, shattering the glass all over. With my hand still wrapped securely around her wrist, I peeked over the ledge, thanking the universe for making sure there was a lush bush beneath us.

"You have two options right now. You can jump first or I jump first and catch you. But if you choose the latter, you have to promise you'll actually jump."

"You're here to save me? On who's orders?" She questioned as she looked over the edge of the building.

"Your father,"

Her eyes lit up as she gasped. "My father? He remembers me after all this time?" She spoke softly and in disbelief. "You jump first and catch me. My ankle is still healing from a fracture.

After getting Eden situated in the car, I wasted no time in getting in touch with my boss.

"Did anyone give you any trouble?" Jericho spoke from the other side of the phone as Eden and I drove out of the hotel parking lot.

"Nothing I wasn't able to handle-," But before I could finish my sentence, a loud, bone-chilling boom sounded from behind us, followed by a blinding light and smoke.

Car alarms started going off and debris floated down around Eden and I. Unfazed, I continued to drive out of the parking lot. It seemed we had just made it out of the range of impact.

Luck was just on my side this evening.

"What the hell was that?" Jericho asked.

"I guess that was their plan b. I'll explain everything when I get back."

"Well, hurry up. The sooner we have her in our custody, the safer she's going to be." My boss ended the call abruptly. I sat my phone down and glanced at Eden who seemed to be in a state of shock.

Unmoving, she sat with her eyes wide and forward, clutching her chest in an attempt to calm her racing heart. I knew exactly what she was feeling right now.

It was fear mixed with adrenaline and a little bit of excitement.

Masterlist

Chapter Two

[whenyouarethesun]

Good afternoon! (Or whatever time it is for you 😄) I’ve been sort of asking around various polyamorous people about being poly, as I’ve been questioning if I might be poly myself. In particular I notice that you have poly and in a relationship in your pinned, does that mean you have a sort of primary partner? And in which case, how do you balance your main relationship and then other secondary partners/relationships/etc? (Given that you have other partners of course) 

Sorry this is so lengthy, I just really like hearing actual peoples experience, it helps me understand better versus just a google search, if that makes sense. Again, if this is too invasive/just too much feel free to ignore! I’m not sure if this is out of place to ask an NSFW account, haha. Side note, love your account!

omg hi! this is actually a very thoughtful ask. i think everyone has a different comfort level of the kinds of asks/personal info they want to share or answer on a blog like this-- i happen to be a pretty open book. and i'm also a firm believer in queer people talking with other queer people to support each other and learn together.

i wouldn't be nearly as aware of my likes, dislikes, sexual preferences, etc. if it hadn't been for the conversations and experiences i've had with other queer people in my life irl and online.

all that being said, i'm definitely no expert but it seems like you're aware of that and just want some real people experiences to gather info from.

when it comes to my partner: i've been with my gf for about 5 years now, living together for about 3. we're both trans and both started hormones together last year. she's my whole world and the woman i want to marry one day. i discovered my polyamory preferences by just basically blurting out one day that i think i may experience attraction and romantic love with other people but that it definitely did not detract or interfere with my love and attraction to her. at the time i had a best friend who i fell for and she could tell and was respectful and cautious because she didn't want me to feel bad for having my obvious feelings for this person. she actually said she felt the same way too about other people and we just had a very long (and still ongoing, the conversation never ends when you are honest and open about sex and love) discussion about what kinds of boundaries, feelings, and other things we want or felt.

that was about 2 years ago and since then we have both slept with and dated other people. it hasn't always been smooth--there have been boundaries (accidentally) crossed and some hurt feelings while i try to balance my priorities.

i am constantly learning how to prioritize her in ways that make her feel loved and wanted by me while i still have my experiences. i will be honest, i am not perfect and have definitely gotten carried away before with forgetting to check in with her. i struggle with a lot of different things and communication has always been one thing i enjoy but am not always great at. i tend to be avoidant, so being in an open relationship has really forced me to reckon with that aspect of myself and develop better communication skills.

people often ask us how we stay together and the answer is we talk about everything. e v e r y t h i n g. we're also madly in love, she excited me every fucking day. but i cannot stress this enough. if something feels weird, we talk about it, if it feels good we talk about it, if my heart is broken by someone who isn't her i talk about it and she does the same. we talk about how other people treat us to learn about how we want to treat each other while still respecting personal privacy of our other partners/dates/etc.

as for the term "primary" partner... i have never liked that. by traditional definitions, yes she is my "primary". but it feels weird to me. a term i have found i really like is nesting partner. she and i have built a life, family (our kitty), and home together. she is my home, she holds my heart and takes priority over other people i am seeing in the sense that she is my family. however, she and i both know we are capable of falling in love with others; she had another boyfriend for about 8 months last year and they told each other that they loved each other. i didn't feel like i was less important or taking "first place" in her heart either.

as for myself, i haven't really had a solid second partner...i have had about two or three friends over the past couple years that i have gone out with, slept with, and dated but never called it anything other than hanging out and never confessed any romantic feelings for each other. there was one boy i really fell for and he broke my heart, very recently. my girlfriend was extremely supportive and let me talk through everything i needed and still does when it comes up.

one of my more consistent fwb (friend with benefits-- old term but reliable) is someone that i help out with cleaning, groceries, and other household tasks because that's how i care for her specifically. sometimes we make out and we've talked about fucking eventually but we mostly just cuddle and fantasize and i take care of her in a lot of ways. but the first conversation we had was "hey you're hot but i don't think i want to or will fall in love with you or anyone else right now but let's still care about each other". and it's been refreshing-- i have no expectations of her and she doesn't of me either; other than respect and fun.

so i guess that's what it boils down to: identify how you care about other people. think about how you love and who you love. have you ever honestly been attracted to more than one person at a time? does that attraction go as far as sex? or is it an admiration of a pretty person. do you want to have a consistent partner and only hook up with others or do you want more than one partner that you live with? do you want to love two people separately or do you want to be in love with multiple people who are also in love and you all sleep with each other? as long as you are honest, safe, and respectful, there is no wrong way to be polyamorous.

thanks again for the ask and congratulations if you read this whole thing. i hope you have a great day and feel free to ask anything else you'd like!

[beingstalked]

To show these accounts were never made for the purpose of stalking them. My old twitter account I had created in College. The Ellie account I cannot find details for but it was just an account created for the hype of TLOU2. I hardly used it but called Liam out when he created an account pretending to be a character from a game, something he said I did. The details for my last twitter account I had were: Joined November 2020. I didnt initially put my name on the account or link myself to it in any way, didn't post photos of myself, just kept it as K. Liam still obsessively stalked to find me and continued to stalk. I eventually found his accounts through a mutual friend. My JK account I deleted, Liam did not get my account taken down because the account was private and had never followed or interacted with Liam on that account, Most of the time I have deleted my accounts because I want to have a social media presence without having Liam constantly having eyes on me. I've deleted my first reddit account because I'd had ago at Liam telling him to leave me and Phil alone and he would stalk and the pathetic loser he is, kept down voting. He has a thing with "if I got higher numbers than them, I'm better than them". I always joked it was small PP energy and when Liam talked about his lack of sex life on ASimpleManInADress, it explained everything. I have never wanted to be constantly pestered by Liam, I've removed myself on certain platforms to try stop this behaviour. Yet when I remove myself, Liam will look for hours on different platforms to find me, to feed this obsession he has with me. He always says he's stalked and harassed by me, yet I have tried removing myself multiple times, and he always comes to whatever platform I'm on. If I was stalking and harassing him, why has he never tried removing himself, why has he created new accounts when I've blocked him, to then stalk me on the new account. Why does he care so much about me? Why has he cared so much for 4 years about what I do with my life? How would he know I've blocked his new accounts on Reddit when I don't interact with them? Simple answer, because he goes to stalk my account to see what I've been saying, then realised hes blocked. On Twitter he used to react to what he did, followed my friends to be blocked by them? Accuse us of wanting him, blocked a fake account i suspected to be his partner under the name Izzy Darke? Immediately says we're keeping an eye on him, yet he went to stalk my account and realised I had blocked him, therefore making it very obvious (i never communicated with the account or made a post about me blocking the account), whenever I've posted on here, ive never sent Liam a link, ive posted on my Reddit AFTER I've blocked him, therefore meaning he made his new accounts and didnt like that i was posting proof that proved what he was done, but also that he was a compulsive liar about the whole situation. He reported my post of me showing what message I had sent Stacey in Feb 2023 because he did not want to me to reveal me going to them and calling out everything hes done, he wanted to twist the narrative and be the victim and have sympathy. Hes always been the butt of jokes, the biggest one amongst his mates was when he had his foot run over by someone in a wheelchair in school, hes ran into a wall trying to do a wrestling move, completely missing the person and running headfirst into a wall, or jumped down off a wall and fucked his knees up. Hes never liked being the butt of jokes and hiding behind a phone screen made him feel powerful, he just was never a good liar when it came to covering up what he had done, especially when theres screenshots to prove it. With how he does this behaviour, I'm not his first victim of stalking, I can guarantee he's done this to other people he was friends with, exes, probably the cousin that he repeatedly told Phil the story of he didn't like. This behaviour did not start with me.