#it helps I had a classical music playlist going at the same time and The Swan started playing at the dramatic bit *chefs kiss | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

minisugakoobies · 2 years

Text

Paradise | JJK - Ten

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: smut, neighbors to lovers (not quite friends but not quite strangers), slow burn, love triangle, Stripper!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: swearing, drinking, kissing, Jin in another suit, a little ass grabbing, accidental voyeurism, masturbation (m + f), use of sex toys, nipple pinching, dirty talk, Jungkook's filthy mouth goes from 0 to 100 real quick, god bless technology

Word Count: 8.3k

Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me

Summary: That sexy man on stage - the one currently giving your friend the lap dance of her LIFE - is your super shy neighbor, Jeon Jungkook?!

A/N: Thank you to @minttangerines and @miscelunaaa for helping me with this one when I got a little stuck! And @bangtanintotheroom for providing some much-needed musical inspiration. I might need to start a Paradise playlist, huh? 🤔

Unbeta’d as usual. Please let me know what you think, I’d love to hear from you! Taglist is open. 💕

Previous Chapter ♦️ Paradise Masterlist ♦️ Next Chapter

You need a new job.

The thought has been plaguing you for weeks. It hits you again for the 875th time on Monday afternoon, working on yet another project dumped into your lap mere days from deadline thanks to an incompetent coworker. These last minute assignments just keep popping up like whack-a-moles lately, and you’re getting really tired of always being the only one who can smack them into submission. Stretching, you close your laptop and decide to take a walk downtown to grab some lunch and try to clear your head a little.

Lost in a reverie picturing taking an actual whack-a-mole mallet to your waiting work assignments, you don’t realize that someone sat down next to you at the counter until a tattooed hand gently taps the top of your menu.

“If you’re looking for a recommendation, jjajangmyeon’s always a solid choice. Can’t go wrong with a classic.”

The corners of your lips automatically tug upwards at the sound of his voice. Lowering your menu, you smile. “Hey, Jungkook.”

“Hey.” He’s wearing a white tee and grey sweats, a black beanie shoved on his head, the tips of his long dark hair sticking out as he grins back at you. If you didn’t already know his alarm clock so well, the yawn he fails to stifle and the slight puffiness to his eyes would’ve let you know he just rolled out of his bed.

Was it really just yesterday you’d woken up in that same bed?

A server approaches and orders are taken. You do go for the jjajangmyeon. So does Jungkook, along with several other meals. After the server drifts away, you drum your fingers on the counter, still slightly vexed about work, though your anger ebbs away the longer you glance at Jungkook.

“I’m going to meet up with Taehyung and Jimin,” he announces suddenly. “I’m not eating all that food myself.”

“I wasn’t judging.” You grin. Far be it from you to shame anyone with a big appetite.

“So… how was your breakfast yesterday? The one you practically ran out of my apartment to get to?” he teases. You twist on your stool to face him, and he does the same, his thighs bracketing yours.

You purse your lips in a mock pout. “I didn’t run!” You had, in fact, basically had to drag yourself out of his place in order to meet your friends on time. But he doesn’t need to know that. “But it was good.” He doesn’t need to know that he was pretty much the sole topic of discussion, either. “My friends really liked the photo we took. Of the antlers?”

He nods coolly at this information, but his cheeks flush. “I thought they might.” One of his hands rests lightly on your knee, thumb skimming over your jeans. Whatever annoyance was left boiling in your blood dissipates at his touch. “I’m glad I didn’t hold you up. As much as I wanted to.”

Your neck heats at the look in his eye, but before you can come up with a reply, the server reappears with your drinks, breaking the moment. You let your own hand fall on his knee, fingertips tapping out a random rhythm as you change the subject. “So… what did you do yesterday afternoon? I got back from brunch and you were gone.”

Jungkook cocks his head. “Oh yeah? You come looking for me?”

“No.” Yes. “I just didn’t hear any music all day, figured you were out.” It’s true that you realized he was out, once you knocked on his door to no reply. You hadn’t planned on going back over to his place, but when you saw his latest note, you might have wandered down the hallway just to let him know that yes, you’d had a wonderful time on your date.

Just to reassure him. No other reason.

“Mmm.” The hand on your knee moves just a fraction of an inch higher. The warmth of his palm bleeds through your clothes, drawing goosebumps as he rubs slightly. “Went to the gym. Grabbed some food. Came home and painted for a while.”

“Speaking of art…” What a smooth segue, you think wryly, “thank you for that sketch yesterday.” That heat is back, crawling up your face as you recall the portrait on his note. “I really don’t know how you make me look so good.”

He shakes his head. “That’s not me. What you see is you.” You drop your head shyly, but can’t help but roll your eyes at his proclamation, and he laughs. “Actually, I -” He breaks off.

“You what?”

He pauses for a second, wide eyes sweeping over your face, before he laughs again and clicks his tongue. “Nah. Nevermind.”

Once again, before you can pursue that topic of conversation any further, the server returns, bearing your food on a tray and Jungkook’s in several bags. Jungkook rises to his feet as you stir your noodles.

“I better get going. Taehyung gets cranky when he’s hungry.” His eyes crinkle as he smiles down at you. “Enjoy your lunch.”

“Thanks. You too, Kookie.”

If he’s going to blush every time you use that nickname, you’re never going to stop calling him that.

He starts to back away towards the door. “Don’t forget to text me.”

You won’t. Though you are going to give it a day or so, so you don’t seem too eager.

Even though you are.

“I won’t,” you promise as he nods and slips out into the midday sun. And then it’s just you, and your noodles, and the slight fluttering of your heart.

TUESDAY:

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:34): Hey you

(2:35): Hey yourself

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:36): How’s your week going?

(2:36): I’ve had better but I’ve also had worse, so… 🤷

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:37): Decidedly average, then? Perfect.

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:37): Let me try to swing that pendulum towards great.

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:38): Are you free Thursday night?

(2:39): No, I have a very busy night planned

(2:39): Face mask, maybe paint my nails, catch up on some shows

(2:40): I have no life, Jin. Of course I’m free. Would love to hang out

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:40): Not exactly playing hard to get, huh?

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:40): I like that.

(2:41): I aim to please

(2:41): What did you have in mind?

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:43): Well, I’ve been invited to a reception for Flavor - you know, the magazine?

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:44): It’s one of those “30 under 30” types of parties where it’s half celebration, half networking event.

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:44): It will likely be a stuffy room full of old men in ill-fitting suits trying to snap up new and burgeoning talent in an attempt to infuse some youthfulness back into their restaurants and other culinary ventures.

(2:45): Wow

(2:45): How could I say no to that?

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:46): But there will be an open bar. And me, also in a suit. That fits.

(2:47): Okay, now I’m sold

(2:47): Is this like a fancy reception? Formalwear required?

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:48): Wear whatever you’re comfortable in.

(2:48): Hoodie and pajama shorts. Got it.

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:49): As much as I would LOVE to see that…

(2:49): Fine. I’ll try to class it up a little.

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:50): I didn’t say it had to be classy.

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:50): Just perhaps not pajama shorts.

(2:51): Noted ✍

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:53): I’ll pick you up around 7?

(2:54): I’ll be here

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:54): Then it’s a date.

Seokjin 👨‍🍳 (2:55): Now, tell me more about these shorts. Exactly how short are we talking? 👀

By Wednesday, you’re about ready to throw your laptop out the window, if only doing so would stop the projects from piling up. It wouldn’t be so bad if your bosses bothered to give you a little kudos or even just a thank you for the extra work you’ve been putting in to get these reports done on time. Everything would still be terrible, but a little acknowledgement would go a long way to keeping you sane.

After a quick dinner, you decide to tackle a different problem weighing on your mind. What should you wear on your date tomorrow night? You’ve never attended something like this before. Should you pick out something dressy? Something professional? A bit of both?

Staring at your closet yields no answers. So you grab your phone.

(6:35): Question

(6:35): What does one wear to a reception slash networking event?

Bestie 😇 (6:36): You’re going to a networking event?

(6:36): Not for me

(6:37): Going with Jin

(6:37): He’s being recognized by Flavor magazine. I’m just arm candy

Bestie 😇 (6:38): Yeah you are

Bestie 😇 (6:38): Ummm what sort of vibe are you going for?

(6:39): Would “delicious” be too on the nose? Or “eat me”?

Bestie 😇 (6:40): I mean, Jin does love a pun. But if it’s a networking event, he might not appreciate being distracted if you walk in looking like a whole meal?

(6:41): I don’t know. From what he was saying, you might be surprised

Bestie 😇 (6:41): Oh god don’t tell me

Bestie 😇 (6:42): I’m covering my eyes right now

(6:42): Dork

(6:42): Help me pick out an outfit!

Bestie 😇 (6:44): Something simple, like that black dress of yours?

(6:44): I already wore that on our first date.

Bestie 😇 (6:45): Okayyyy

Bestie 😇 (6:45): That blue dress you wore to our engagement party?

(6:46): The one I spilled red wine on? Ended up in the trash

(6:46): Ughhhh

(6:46): Clothing is hard, dating is hard, I give up

Bestie 😇 (6:47): Oh my god, you’re falling apart over this?

Bestie 😇 (6:47): Do I need to come over and help you get it together?

(6:48): 🥺🥺🥺

Bestie 😇 (6:49): I’m on my way 💃

An hour later, there’s a knock on your door before Jennie lets herself in. She finds you lying on your bed, scrolling through for images of “classy cocktail reception outfits” in frustration.

“All right, the cavalry's arrived, let’s see what we’re working with.” She starts rummaging through your closet. The two of you go back and forth for a few minutes, pulling items out and pairing them together, offering them up for the other’s opinion, only to be met with a shaking head.

“You have an alarming number of hoodies,” she declares as she flips through your clothes. “Why do you need so many?”

“I don’t know. They’re just comfortable.” You tug self-consciously on the drawstrings of the hoodie you’re currently wearing. Jungkook’s hoodie. You’ve been wearing it for two days now. You fully intended on washing it yesterday with your laundry, so you could return it to him, but then you got chilly. And it’s so comfy. And smells like him.

You’ll give it back eventually.

“Okay, come on, there has to be something here,” Jennie mutters, reaching back as far as she can. She reemerges from the corner of your closet with a garment in hand. “What’s this?”

“Oh damn, I forgot I owned this.” It’s a white jumpsuit, with a simple sweetheart bodice and a gold belt cinching over the natural waist. Jisoo had convinced you to buy it a while ago, on a shopping trip fueled by a brunch involving way too much soju for so early in the day. There’s a reason it’s been hanging in the very back of your closet - it’s most emphatically not your style.

But then again, you’re not the type of person who usually attends events like this, so… maybe you should dress like someone other than yourself? Play pretend.

“Let me see how it looks on you!” Jennie chucks the jumpsuit at you and you change. She tips her head to the side as she makes you spin a few times. “I think this is it!”

“I think you might be right.” Studying your reflection in your floor-length mirror, you have to agree with her. The woman staring back at you looks polished. Perfectly put together. Like she belongs at a fancy cocktail hour. Plus, the high waist makes your legs look way longer than they actually are.

Your mirror self looks like she knows exactly what she’s doing. Suddenly, you wish it wasn’t pretend.

“Perfect! Then my work here is done.” Jennie pauses when she sees the look on your face. “Or maybe not?” She drops onto your bed. “What’s up, babe?”

“Nothing. I just…” You take off the jumpsuit, putting it back on its hanger and draping it over your mirror. “Work’s just been really frustrating lately. I mean, more so than usual. The last few weeks have been super stressful and I’m just about ready to pop.”

“Mmm. Sit and tell me all about it.” She makes herself comfy on your pillows and pats the space next to her. Lying down, you place your head in her lap, and proceed to vent everything that’s been building up over. The constant eleventh hour assignments. The lack of any recognition from your superiors for your efforts. The way your career seems to have stalled, or stopped completely.

“Are you thinking it’s time for a change?” Jennie asks when you’ve taken a breather. “You’ve always made it sound like you enjoy what you do, but do you think you want to try something else?”

You shrug. “I don’t think so. I do like my job, but I’m not sure if I want to keep working where I am.”

“Then it sounds like it’s time to look for an employer who will recognize all the hard work you put in. And actually reward you for it.”

“Yeah. I guess. I just…”

“Hate change? Love your routines? Want to burrow into a little hole at the thought of having to start over, and never come back out?”

You blink up at her. “Okay, it’s fucking creepy how well you read my mind sometimes.”

Jennie grins, booping your nose. “That’s what best friends do.” You scowl, and she laughs, pulling you into a hug. “Look, job hunting sucks, but so does working for a company where you feel trapped! If you’ve reached a dead end there, then it’s time to move on.”

“Ughhhh, I guess.” You lean your head on your shoulder. “Must you be so wise all the time?”

“Truly, it’s my burden to bear. Come on, cheer up, babe! You’ll figure this out! And you know I’ll help you as much as I can.”

“Eh, you’ve got enough to worry about right now.”

“Oh god, don’t remind me.” Jennie and Yoongi’s wedding is less than two weeks away. It feels like they’ve been planning it forever. Well, Jennie basically has been, pretty much since she informed you in college, mere days after meeting Yoongi, that he was The One.

Her obsession with romantic movies means that Jennie’s wedding plans borrow heavily from western-style ceremonies - like having bridesmaids, for example. As an only child, Jennie is rather spoiled by her doting parents, so they’re more than happy to do something a little less than traditional if it’s what she wants. And of course Yoongi goes along with anything Jennie dreams up. She’s got him wrapped around her stylishly manicured finger, which he’d be the first to admit.

But since you’ve been unusually busy with your own stuff lately, you haven’t really been paying attention to her wedding plans as closely as you were. You feel a pang of guilt, echoing the pain you felt the other day when you realized that you and Jisoo hadn’t hung out much lately. The last thing you want to be is that friend who is so wrapped up in herself that she doesn’t know what’s going on with everyone else.

“Well, maid of honor, reporting for duty.” With a mock salute, you grin. “What do you need from me right now?”

“Ask me again on Saturday. At the moment, we’re kind of in the calm before the storm? But it’ll be a different story this weekend.” She nudges you. “What you can do right now is distract me by telling me about this date with Jin!”

“I’ll be sure to text you as soon as I get home and give you all the sordid details.”

“Oh god, please feel free to save some of the details for yourself.” Jennie shudders. “I don’t want to be standing at the altar next week and glance at Jin and forget my vows because I’m suddenly thinking about his filthy mouth. Or other parts.”

“Suit yourself,” you grin. “But I guess this means I need to rewrite my maid of honor toast.”

“Is it too late to ask Jisoo to be my maid of honor?”

“You really think her toast would be any less dirty?!”

The two of you dissolve into giggles, and you fall back onto your pillows, feeling lighter than you have all week. Jennie’s right - you’ll figure out what to do about work. At least you know that if you need help, you won’t have to do it alone.

Upon stepping into the reception on Thursday night, it dawns on you that Jin might have undersold it just a little. First of all, he neglected to mention that it’s being held at Blue Side, one of the swankiest restaurants downtown. A place that’s way too rich for your blood, which is why you’ve never been there before. Secondly, it’s true that there are plenty of old men amongst the attendees, but the average age is definitely closer to your own, and the energy in the banquet room is absolutely buzzing - a far cry from the “stuffy” atmosphere he predicted.

Nervously, you smooth the bodice of your jumpsuit with one hand, clutching Jin’s arm with the other as he makes a beeline for the bar. It seems silly for you to feel anxious here, since you know that none of the people in this room are remotely interested in you. And yet, you are anyway. Jennie’s advice about looking for a new job has you wondering if maybe tonight could be practice for some networking of your own. The only drawback is, you’ve never been much for talking to strangers, so you’re glad Jin’s first stop is to grab some of that free booze he promised you.

Jin flags down the bartender and orders you both a drink. He leans against the bar as he smiles at you. “Did I mention how gorgeous you look tonight?”

“You did, but please do keep saying it.”

His amused honking spurs laughter of your own. “Fair enough. What about me?” He angles his face away from you, striking an exaggerated pose. You laugh again, but can’t deny how ridiculously handsome he looks tonight. When he’d shown up at your door, dressed in a raven black suit with matching silk shirt underneath, hair artfully tousled, wire-rimmed glasses on again, you first thought was, holy hell, he’s gorgeous.

Your second thought was to hope he tips his tailor well. And your third thought was highly Not Suitable For Work, or anywhere else for that matter.

After pretending to study him carefully, you give him an, “Ehhh,” and flap your hand back and forth. His eyes widen as you giggle. “Oh, relax, you know you look fantastic.”

“Hmmph. Never hurts to hear it.” He pouts, but you see the glimmer in his deep brown eyes, and can’t suppress another grin.

“Also fair.” Stepping closer, you press a kiss to his cheek without a second thought. The tips of his ears darken a little. “I just didn’t want you to get a big head about it. Need to keep you grounded, before everyone else here starts kissing up to you.”

He wraps an arm around your waist as the bartender slides your drinks to you. “Ah, I see. Are you worried you’ll have to fight for my affections tonight? Don’t be.” He pauses to take a sip of his wine. “The only one I want kissing me tonight is you.”

“Just kissing?”

He winks, and your teeth bite into your lower lip as he licks his. “I guess we’ll see how the night goes.” You stir your cocktail as he dips his head, brushing his mouth by your ear. “Especially if you’re a good girl.”

His breath tickles your ear, words sending a shiver down your spine. Memories of your last date play in your mind. You’d very much enjoy the chance to show him just how good you can be.

Drinks in hand, Jin leads you over to where some very appetizing-looking food has been laid out, and you quickly assemble yourself a plate of snacks. By the time you’ve started on a second plate, you’ve already been introduced to a dozen other guests, all of whom politely repeat your name and then immediately ignore you, dominating the conversation completely.

Jin, for what it’s worth, keeps trying to pull you back in, but the others aren’t interested and always end up steering things back to business. And as the night wears on, you stop trying to engage Jin in any conversations of your own, since you’re constantly interrupted by others. You can’t really blame them - who wouldn’t want to talk to this handsome, funny, incredibly talented man by your side? At least he’s sticking close to you, always with a hand on your back or an arm looped around your waist. Every little touch makes your skin buzz.

By your third plate, you’ve nearly given up on the idea of practicing your social skills, when you spot a familiar face standing at the bar. As several executives from cooking network Nosh corner Jin, you excuse yourself and make your way over to her.

“Wendy?”

The woman turns around, a radiant smile lighting up her face. She exclaims your name. “I thought that was you! How are you?”

It’s been several years, but your former coworker is still as bubbly and kind as you remember. Wendy had been one of the first friends you’d made when you’d started, but she left the company not long after that. She’s just as gorgeous as ever tonight, lithe frame draped in a chic black dress, accented perfectly with gold earrings and a matching bracelet. If you in your outfit look like you belong at this reception, she looks like she’s running it.

The bartender brings you another cocktail as you two catch up. Before long, you find yourself bending Wendy’s ear about your frustrations with work.

“Believe me, I understand!” she consoles you, patting your arm. “Why do you think I left? Chan and Associates is a great training ground, but once you reach a certain level, there’s really nowhere left to go! And you can only do other people’s work for so long before you’re ready to run out the door.”

You nod. “Yes! Exactly!” Taking a swig of your drink, you gaze over at where Jin is still deep in discussion with the network execs. “So you said you’re working in entertainment these days? That must be such a wildly different environment to work in.”

“Yes! My firm has several clients that include television networks and a couple streaming platforms. It’s great. I’m here with some execs from one of the streamers tonight, technically on the clock in case anyone wants to discuss possible investment strategies, but between you and me? I just could not resist the lure of free drinks.”

“I get it.” You clink your glasses together.

“But listen, there are so many unexpected perks with this job! Like travel. Especially right now, this platform’s taking a big swing towards shows that explore local cuisines, and I’ve gotten to go on several trips already. A few were even international.” She rattles off a list of countries you’ve never been to, and your envy grows. The only travel you’ve ever done for your job was to attend several dull conferences, all within the confines of your city.

“Wow, that sounds amazing.”

“Oh yeah!” Wendy nods. “It’s been incredible. And also, the actual benefits themselves are fabulous, too.” As she continues to extol, rattling off a list of impressive benefits your company does not offer, your jealousy grows, until you can’t help but ask a very important question.

“So, um, would you know if your firm is hiring right now, or…”

Wendy digs through her clutch and pulls out a business card. “I don’t think we are at the moment, but send me your resume anyway! I’ll keep you in mind if I hear anything, and I can also pass along some names of some people who helped me get this job - a few industry headhunters whom you should definitely get to know!”

“Wendy, you’re the best. Thank you so much!” You turn her card over in your hands, fingers running over the embossed letters. Fancy. “I will absolutely email you first thing tomorrow.”

Wendy glances at her watch. “I think I might bounce. The longer these things go on, and the drunker people get, the less I’m usually needed. Listen - keep your head up at Chan, okay? Hopefully you won’t have to mark time for much longer!”

“From your lips to the universe’s ears, Wendy.” With a hug, she leaves.

You stare at her card again, lost in thought. Running into Wendy definitely feels like a rather serendipitous moment. It seems like the universe might have just dropped an opportunity directly into your lap. Could it really be this easy to escape your current situation?

Jin materializes beside you, placing his empty glass on the counter. “Did I just see you take someone’s card?”

“Yes! Former coworker. Possible new job lead.” You slip the card into your clutch before you accidentally leave it on the bar. It could be your ticket out. Better not lose it.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were looking for another job.”

“Yeah, that’s probably because I am just kinda realizing now that I want one.” Tapping the clutch, you grin. “And this might be the start.”

“Well, congratulations. I’m glad that something good came out of this evening for you. ” He gives you a soft smile, and the butterflies in your stomach take flight. “Thank you for coming with me. I know this has probably been pretty boring for you, and to be honest, there were a few conversations earlier that nearly put me to sleep, too, but… having you here made my night so much better.”

With a shy smile, you nod. The sincerity in his gaze has those butterflies all riled up again. And his tone reminds you of what he said at dinner the other night, about wanting to share his life with someone.

You take a slow sip of your drink, giving the butterflies time to calm down. “I’m really glad I came, too. But what about you? Has anything good come out of all that elbow rubbing tonight? Those execs from Nosh sure seemed to have a lot to say.”

Jin beams. “I don’t want to jinx anything, but…” He jerks his chin, indicating for you to lean closer. “Nosh might be interested in producing my show! They said something about adding it to the network lineup in the fall. That is, if my agent and I can put together a strong pitch for their upfronts in the next few weeks.”

You smack him lightly on his solid chest. “Jin! That’s fantastic!”

He laughs, grabbing your hand. “I know! I don’t want to get my hopes up too much, since it was just one conversation, but a network budget would really improve everything - I could do so much more!” He slings an arm around your waist, tucking you into his side. “I think maybe we should celebrate, no?”

“Hmmm.” You pretend to consider. “What do you have in mind?”

He glances around covertly before pulling you flush against him, dipping his head to brush your lips with his. “Maybe we go back to my place? I have some champagne in the fridge. We could have some dessert.” One of his hands ghosts down your ass, giving a light squeeze that makes you squeak into his mouth. “If you’re still hungry.”

Oh yes, you’re suddenly very hungry. “We should absolutely do that.”

“So you’re ready to get out of here?”

You definitely are, especially with the way his long fingers are stroking over your hips. However, you are also full of several cocktails and about ready to burst. “Yes! I just need to run to the ladies room first. Be right back.”

At the sink in the restroom, you take a moment to collect yourself. Although your head is spinning a little from Jin’s touch, your reflection still looks so put together. Maybe, after your run-in with Wendy tonight, it won’t be long before you feel just as confident as your mirror self looks.

As you cross through the club, trying to figure out the least awkward way to ask Jin if you’ve been a good girl tonight, you discover that he’s no longer alone at the bar. The Nosh execs are back.

“Hey,” Jin greets you warmly when you reach his side, “you remember Hongjoong-ssi and San-ssi from earlier, right?”

You nod politely. “Of course.”

“They just invited us to join them for a nightcap,” Jin informs you.

“We’d like to discuss our idea in further detail,” the exec named San adds. “We’d love to treat you as well, if you’d care to join us?”

You smile as brightly as you can, but your heart sinks. As excited as you are for Jin and this potential deal, you very much want to leave this reception and all this talk of careers behind. But it would be selfish of you to insist that he take you home. You can’t do that to him, knowing how much this could affect his career.

You also have zero interest in sitting at another bar in silence while a conversation carries on around you. It’s already getting late, especially for a homebody like you, and you’re tired, the alcohol in your veins slowly completing its alchemy, transforming into drowsiness. If you’re not going to do anything, uh, stimulating with Jin right now, you’re at danger of falling asleep.

So with a gentle smile, you shake your head. “Actually, I think I’m going to call it a night. Tomorrow morning is going to come way sooner than I’d like.” You nod at both of the execs again. “But thank you for the offer.” Turning to Jin, you tug him away from the other men slightly. “Raincheck on the celebration?”

“Of course,” he replies. “We’ll celebrate some other night. You know my door’s always open.” He pauses. “Do you want me to wait with you for a ride?

“No, you go ahead! I’ll be fine.” Jin pulls you in for a kiss, but it’s too quick, lips barely meeting yours, and your heart sinks a little further as he and the others depart.

The butterflies go still again while you wait for your ride to arrive.

On the ride back to your apartment, whatever elation you felt after seeing Wendy quickly dissolves. Staring out the window as the city lights zoom by, you start to feel your frustration rising again. But it’s nothing to do with work anymore.

No, the more you think about it, the more you’re bummed that Jin didn’t come home with you. Tonight didn’t feel like much of a date. By the end of the night, all you wanted was some alone time with Jin. A chance to actually talk to him. Among other things. His teasing comments and lingering touches all evening worked all too well on you. You wanted that dessert he mentioned, even if you didn’t know exactly what he had in mind. You were pretty sure it would involve at least one orgasm.

Your phone rests on the seat beside you. Picking it up, you open your messages, and scroll until you see the last text from Jungkook.

All week long, you’ve done this. Open your phone, pull up your messages, find his name. And then close the app without typing a word. Each time afraid that you’re being too impatient, too eager. The opposite of light and casual. But it’s been several days now, so why not text him?

Yet as your thumbs tap the screen, you pause. Would it be weird to see if Jungkook’s around when you get back? The two of you could hang out… but would you just hang out? Can you control yourself around him, especially when you’re feeling a little pent up and dissatisfied?

Sure you can.

Maybe.

Okay, probably not. So maybe it’s not a good idea. Because how would Jungkook feel knowing you’re trying to hook up with him after Jin got you worked up?

Your night at Dionysus was as close to blurring the lines between the two of them as you’d like to get.

With a sigh, you tuck your phone into your clutch. Out of sight, out of mind.

Ha. Right.

Turns out it doesn’t matter what you decided, because when you get back to your place, Jungkook’s apartment is quiet. His schedule seems to vary during the week, with only the sound of music thumping through the wall ever letting you know if he’s around or not.

Changing into a soft oversized t-shirt, you go through your nightly routine, getting ready for bed. By all rights, you should be exhausted. It’s nearly midnight. On a typical Thursday, you’d be asleep by now. And all that socializing combined with the alcohol should have run you right down. But once you actually crawl into your sheets, sleep is nowhere to be found. Turns out you’re still wound up. Still frustrated.

Time for a release.

Reaching into your nightstand, you pull out your favorite toy. It’s been a while since you’ve needed Lil Jackson Wang’s help, thanks to your suddenly jam-packed dating life, but the longer you lie here, unable to sleep, still electrified from Jin’s words, his touch, the more your desperation builds. With a click, Lil Jackson whirs to life.

Gently, you run the vibrator along your slit, letting the soft hum clear your mind. It doesn’t take long for your arousal to build, and you slip the thick curve of the toy between your wet folds, pretending it’s Jin’s long fingers finding their way inside of you.

Or Jungkook’s. Or maybe both?

Oh fuck, Lil Jackson slides so easily inside you as you suddenly imagine both Jin and Jungkook are here with you. Lying on either side, mouths sucking at your breasts, their hands diving between your legs. Good thing Jungkook’s at work, so you don’t have to stifle yourself worrying about the thin walls, because you don’t want to. You let yourself moan loudly, feeling all that anxiety and irritation that was welling up inside you disappear as that familiar knot in your gut begins to tighten.

“Fuck,” you groan after a minute, grabbing your phone and opening an app. One of your favorite things about this toy is the way it pairs to music, syncing the vibrations to the beat. But before you can decide on which track you want Lil Jackson to dance to tonight, your phone suddenly buzzes in your hand, startling you.

Jungkook 🦌 (11:49): need a hand?

This time your “Fuck!” is a yelp. Apparently Jungkook is home. Switching your toy off, you freeze, not sure how to respond, heart still pounding from the shock of the text alert.

(11:50): I didn’t know you were home

Jungkook 🦌 (11:50): yeah. strained a muscle at dance practice today

Jungkook 🦌 (11:51): was just sleeping it off

Well, that explains why his place was so quiet.

(11:51): Oh shit, I’m sorry. Does it hurt?

Jungkook 🦌 (11:51): only when i move

Jungkook 🦌 (11:52): heh

Jungkook 🦌 (11:52): i’ll be fine, just gotta stay off it for a day or so

(11:52): Oh good

Jungkook 🦌 (11:53): yeah

Jungkook 🦌 (11:53): so

Jungkook 🦌 (11:53): anyway, don’t let me interrupt you

He’s a little too late for that. Lil Jackson currently sleeps on your thigh, though you’re still pretty wet, and still needing that release.

Jungkook 🦌 (11:54): i’m not making you uncomfortable am i?

Jungkook 🦌 (11:54): i’ll give you your privacy

Jungkook 🦌 (11:55): i can put on some music if it helps

That gives you an idea. You press the Call button.

“Hey,” he breathes softly when he answers.

“Hi. Sorry if I woke you.”

“‘Don’t be.” Jungkook sighs. “Didn’t mean to stop you. I’m sorry if I made this weird.”

“You didn’t.” Not really. The thought of him lying there, listening to you is kind of hot. Now that you’ve recovered from your initial shock, anyway. “I just got back from a date with Jin. And couldn’t sleep, so…”

“Ah.” There’s a long pause, and you wonder what’s going through his head, before his raspy voice comes on the line again. “Well, I hate the idea that I’m keeping you up… or keeping you from getting what you need…”

He’s setting you up perfectly. “Jungkook. Listen. Do you, uh, still want to give me a hand?”

A quick inhale. “I’d love to. But I’m not sure if I can walk over there right now, so-” He trails off as you quickly send him two more texts. “What’s this?”

“Um, you should download that app. And that’s the login info.”

“Login for wh…. Oh.”

You gaze at the ceiling, waiting for him, a flutter of excitement coursing through you. Pleased with yourself for this brilliant notion. Earlier, you were worried about blurring the lines between the two men, seeing one after the other. But this? This is not that.

This is an electronic loophole.

(Or so you tell yourself.)

Lil Jackson buzzes to life.

“Is it working?”

“Oh, yes!” you answer effusively as the toy in your hand pulsates.

“Any requests?”

“For songs to pair it to?”

“This thing pairs to music?” His voice is a little faint, so you assume he’s scrolling through the app. After a minute, “Nice & Slow” starts playing through your phone. The vibrations shift, matching the beat of the music.

“Ooh, Usher. Good choice.”

“I thought you’d like that one. But what I meant was, is there a certain speed or rhythm I should use, or…”

You grin, teasing him, “Uh-uh. I’m not telling you anything. You have to figure it out for yourself.”

Somehow you can hear a matching smile in his reply. “And how am I supposed to know if I’ve found the magic setting?”

“By how loud I get.” Might as well put the thin walls to good use.

“Fuck, this is gonna be fun,” Jungkook groans. “One last question. Do you want me to keep talking?”

“God yes. Please. Keep talking to me, Kookie.”

“Whatever you want, jagiya.”

The butterflies stir again. But Lil Jackson stills.

“Aw, why?!”

He laughs. “Hold on, you gotta set the stage for me. Tell me what I’d see if I were over there right now.”

“You mean like, what am I wearing?” You glance down at your stretched out t-shirt. “Um… I guarantee that whatever you’re imagining is way sexier than what I have on.”

“I promise you that’s not true. I remember how you looked in my hoodie. You make anything look sexy.”

If anyone else said that, you’d assume they were just feeding you a line. But for some reason, when he says it, you believe it, and your face warms.

“Hold on a sec.” You quickly yank your shirt off before lying back down. “Okay, so… if you were here, you would just see me on my bed. No clothes, only me, lying here on my sheets.” You pause, wondering if that’s enough. Deciding it’s not. “Thighs spread. Like I’m waiting for you.”

There’s a light hiss. “Fuck, jagi, you say you’re not an artist, but you paint a pretty picture.” The toy starts to vibrate again, and you grip it before it shakes off your leg. “What else?”

“Ummm… I have my phone in one hand and Li - the toy in the other.”

“Huh. So if I told you that I wanted you to drag your fingertips down that pretty little pussy of yours, and tell me how wet you are, you couldn’t do that?”

Jesus, the mouth on this man. From zero to one hundred real quick. Your clit throbs. “Fuck. No.”

“That’s not gonna work, then. Can you put me on speaker?”

You do as instructed.

“All right. Now. Take your free hand, jagi. And tell me what I want to know.”

Lil Jackson is still pulsing in your left hand as you take your right and draw a line down your folds. You’re so slick, arousal gathering on your fingertips as you speak into the phone on the pillow by your head. “Mmm, I’m already so wet, Kookie.”

“Got yourself worked up earlier?”

“A little bit.” You close your eyes, remembering your fantasy. “I - I was thinking about you.”

Another sharp inhale. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Imagining you were here. Touching me.” With your eyes closed, it’s so easy to tell him these things. And even easier to imagine he’s right here next to you, murmuring in your ear.

“Jagi. Take the toy and press it against yourself.” His voice gets lower as he commands you, a husky timbre that has you clenching around nothing as you listen. “Just brush it against your lips.”

The pattern changes to a steady thrumming as you swirl the toy through your slick folds.

“How does that feel?”

“Feels good,” you sigh, hips rocking slightly as you roll the vibrator up and down.

“Good,” he hums. “Can I tell you something?”

“You can tell me anything you want, Kookie, just don’t turn off the toy again.”

He chuckles, but it’s not his usual high giggle, it’s a dark rumble that sends a rash of goosebumps rippling down your neck. You haven’t even touched your breasts, but your nipples are pebbling as you begin to pant. “I’m pretending I’m there, too. And that’s my tongue, licking that delicious pussy of yours. I can practically taste you right now. Can you feel me, baby?”

“Jungkook,” you moan, hips still canting forward as you press the toy harder against your core, seeking more friction.

“I want you to rub that little clit of yours now. Because I want to wrap my lips around it. Let me suck on it a little, just the way you like.” Moving Lil Jackson as he demands, your breath catches in your throat as the vibrator shifts again, the beat changing as “All the Time” by Jeremih starts. A personal favorite. “Fuck, I wanna taste you so bad, jagi. I wanna bury my tongue inside you. Can you feel me slipping inside?”

The curve of the toy plunges between your folds and you whine as it brushes against your walls. “God, yes, I feel you!”

“Mmm, keep going. Wanna fuck you with it. Go on, baby. Help me fuck you.”

You thrust the toy into your tight cunt, wailing helplessly, fucking yourself just the way you like. Just the way you imagine he’d fuck you, that thick cock of his filling you up, stretching you out, making you his.

“Fuck, Jungkook!”

“That’s right, jagi, let everyone know who’s making you feel like this. I can’t get enough of your moans, let me hear them.”

At this point, your wanton mewling is probably going to wake your other neighbors, but you don’t care. All you can picture is Jungkook above you, dark eyes holding yours as he strokes into you again and again.

“I know I’m making you feel good because I can feel your thighs squeezing around me. Fuck, jagi, I wanna feel those soft thighs under my hands, wanna pin them down so you can’t move. Want you to lie there and take it. Do you want that?”

You want everything he has to give. “Yes, please!”

He laughs. “So polite. Let me give you more, jagi. Put the toy inside you and leave it there.”

You know exactly what he wants you to do. Lil Jackson is designed for hands-free use, the two curved ends fitting perfectly over your clit and against your g-spot. You nestle the toy securely and gasp as the buzzing increases.

“All right, baby. Now take those hands and play with your tits for me. Since I’m not there to do it myself, I need you to do it for me.”

It’s getting harder to think straight, the constant stimulation on those sensitive spots distracting you, but you still manage to follow Jungkook’s instructions, running your hands up your stomach to fondle your breasts, imagining his strong hands caressing you.

“Let me roll my fingers over those gorgeous tits while I suck on that clit some more. I’m not stopping until you’re cumming on my face.”

The knot in your gut grows as you rub your hands over your breasts, kneading, pinching your nipples hard enough to make your back arch off the mattress. You’re no stranger to your own touch, but it’s overwhelming tonight, especially with Jungkook’s filthy mouth running nonstop lewd commentary in your ear. You can feel your peak approaching and you want it so bad.

So you beg.

“God, Kookie, I wanna cum! Please, please make me cum!”

There’s a hitch in his breath. Tipping your head as close to the phone as you can, you think you detect something in the background.

“Are y-you,” you stutter, “fuck, are you touching yourself?”

“Yeah. You think I can lie here and listen to you touching yourself the way I want to and not be hard as a fucking rock?” He hisses, and the sound shoots straight to your tight core.

“Fuck, Kookie!” This time, when you say his name, Jungkook lets out a needy whimper. You remember all the sweet little noises he made the other night. You want to be the one to make him sound like that.

He switches up the pattern, and you twist a nipple between your finger and thumb, other hand flexing in your sheets. The cadence no longer matches the tempo of the music. Jungkook’s taken back control.

“Do you remember that night when you came to Paradise?”

Do you remember it?? How could you possibly forget?

He takes your moan for the affirmative it is.

“When you ran into me in the hallway, earlier in the night?” Jungkook asks. “Do you know why I had to run back into my apartment like that?”

Not thinking, you shake your head, too wrapped up in the quivering beat between your legs to remember that he can’t see you. But he doesn’t seem to need your answer, as he continues on.

“Because of what you did to me.”

“What… what did I do?”

“The same thing you’re doing right now. Turning me on.” Another groan hits your ear, before his voice rumbles again. “I couldn’t leave for work like that. I was late because I had to stop and jerk off. You in that tight little dress… fuck, jagiya,” he growls. “You drive me fucking insane.”

“Kookie!” you gasp, keening at the intensity as it climbs again, getting stronger. “Oh fuck, please don’t stop, I’m so close!”

His breathing is ragged now, strangled grunts coming through the phone to match your unrestrained moans, and somehow you know he’s just as close as you are. “Ah, fuck, jagi, if I were there right now, I’d fuck you so good, baby, ah, I wanna feel you, I want you so bad!” The last word is an unrestrained whine, a deeply frustrated sound that cracks something wide open inside you, and you sob desperately in reply.

“God, yes, fuck me, Kookie, please, I want you I want you I -” Head tossing back, your mouth falls open in an impassioned cry as you reach the peak and tumble over the edge into euphoria. The vibrations don’t cease, even as your walls clench and your clit shudders beneath the toy’s continued quaking, but you can’t form the words to ask Jungkook to turn it off, surrendering to the feeling reverberating through you.

There’s a choked sob on the other end of the line, a stuttering cry that resonates through the wall, and then he pulls you from your high, bringing you back to the moment.

The vibrations finally stop.

Neither of you speak for a few minutes. Your breathing begins to even out as you cradle your phone, listening to the soothing rhythm of his soft exhalations. No thoughts. Just in, out.

Your eyelids droop.

Jungkook finally speaks. “Are you falling asleep on me again?”

“...yes.”

He laughs, a tiny giggle that makes your lips lift. “I guess I can’t get upset since that was the goal here, right? To help you sleep?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, rolling onto your side. “And it worked like a fucking charm. I owe you one.”

“Gonna remember that.”

“You better.”

“Go to sleep, jagiya.”

You hum, eyes already closing. “Night, Kookie.”

When your alarm goes off a few hours later, there are messages waiting for you.

Jungkook 🦌 (1:03): i’m keeping that app. and i work tonight.

Jungkook 🦌 (1:03): want to test its range?

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜

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ilesui · 6 months

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what music would the TWST boys listen to ?

— yay first post! i’ve thought about this question a lot, especially as someone with a varied taste in music. i look up character playlists and… honestly, most of them have the same songs in them. which isn’t a bad thing at all! but i think if we’re going to look at this realistically, it’s good to have a variety. anyways, enough yapping!

heartslabyul — 🃏

riddle would most likely listen to classical music starting off. considering his mom, it’s very possible he wasn’t allowed to listen to a lot of modern music. as time goes on though, i like to think he listens to songs with soft acoustics and catchy hooks. what i’m thinking specifically is “i will follow you into the dark” by death cab for cutie. it would help him calm down for his anger issues and feel like he’s loved, even for a moment.

ace’s music taste is a little more basic. he’s a pretty simple guy! i think he’d listen to minnesotan hip hop, maybe even meme rap. something catchy, modern, but with a layer of irony behind it. i have a feeling he’d really like Brother Ali. maybe something less calm from him, though. he wants to be hyped up!

deuce wants to change. he has a whole moment in book 5 on how he wants to find himself and stop changing himself for the sake of other people. so, he tried listening to classical music. but he just couldn’t get into it. i think it’s more likely he listens to gangster rap / west coast rap. no one post modern, but instead artists like eazy-e and n.w.a. he’s mildly aware of newer artists but he doesn’t necessarily understand them. he’s a sucker for the classics!

cater canonically listens to the top 100 songs. but also cater is a pretty deep character. he doesn’t have a lot of trust in people so it’s very unlikely he’s honest about a lot of things, including his music taste. while cater SAYS he listens to popular songs, i think he’s a sucker for pop punk. waterparks and fall out boy are is jam! he would listen to them while skating!

trey gave me a bit of trouble. when i first made my headcanons, i joked around with my friends on how it’s more likely he’d listen to asmr than music. i still think that’s a bit true but when i asked around for other people’s opinions on what he listens to, i got another joke answer saying “british people music”. that’s when it hit me. classic rock! artists like the beatles, led zeppelin, and david bowie! he’s kind of a family guy so he probably listened to these songs growing up and he’s never quite ventured any further. it’s a little unconventional for the modern day world of pop but i think it suits him!

savanaclaw — 🏜

i think leona is a little more of a romantic than he’s willing to admit. it obviously wouldn’t show in the game but it bleeds a lot more into his tastes. the man may not know how to dress but he can treat a lady well! so i think he listens to classic jazz. he would definitely dance in the kitchen with you while listening to “somethin’ stupid” by frank sinatra! it maybe be hard to believe but underneath all that rough fur is a good person who wants to love as much as he wants to live.

ruggie’s felt a little too obvious to me. golden age hip hop! again, nothing too new but i like the idea that he somehow stumbles upon the most under appreciate artists ever and goes to their live shows! live shows that are mostly basement concerts lol. i can see him growing up on MF DOOM, though. his grandma probably subjected him to a lot of The Jackson 5 too! grammy don’t need fancy!

jack was another one that gave me a hard time. ok, honestly, i had a hard time with 3 other characters on this list but i did some more thinking and i’m content on my stances now! anyways, jack isn’t a very hardcore guy. in fact, i think he’s pretty classy. i think he listens to jazz pop. im specifically thinking of michael bublé. fun fact, it’s a popular headcanon that jack is canadian and michael bublé is listened as canadian pop lol. i didnt even realize that until i looked up what genre he was

octavinelle — 🪸

azul was another one that gave me trouble. im joking when i say this but i think he’d listen to those alpha bro podcasts and says that music is a waste of time. but as a serious answer? jazz blues. maybe even soul blues if he’s feeling like listening to something with lyrics. duke ellington feels like it would be a good fit!

floyd listens to vocaloid and i will refuse to elaborate on this.

…

oh still here?

ok im joking, of course. gotta have a little fun on this blog and keep you on your toes. but hes pretty unpredictable and loses interest in things very easily. i think there’s no one genre that he gravitates towards. he just finds specific songs he likes and listens to them until he gets bored. his playlist is awful because he goes from musicals, to pop, to Debussy in one sitting. it’s genuine whiplash to give jaxe the aux because you don’t know what you’re gonna get when he hits shuffle.

i’m still right though. this man would listen to vocaloid.

jade is interesting because not a lot of things can keep his interest. it’s easy to say he’s like floyd and has a wide taste in music but that’s way too easy. plus, he has a genuine system going on in his head. while there is no pattern in chaos, there needs to be some semblance of pleasure. so i think he’s a fan of noise rock and hardcore. jesus piece is a definitive. you never know what’ll happen in those songs. each moment is filled to the brim with noise that doesn’t even leave you a moment to think. jade would be a fan of that.

scarabia — 🏝

it’s pretty canon that kalim prefers folk party music. he’s seen in multiple vignettes hosting parties where there’s live music that he plays in. but i wanna add something. the whole reason why he joined the pop music club was because of lillia’s performance where he had his little screamo moment, right? i don’t think it’d be that much of a stretch to think he’d be into that music wise. so i think kalim could really be into industrial and hyperpop! but really, he can be into anything just as long as it’s loud and amps him up. rob zombie, most likely. nothing more violent than that! he’ll feel bad :(

jamil is the one i’ve thought about the most. he IS my oshi, after all. i think he listens to a mixture of dance pop, disco pop, and a bit of female oriented rap. jamil is a munchkin and proud. he wants something to make him feel hot because his only coping mechanism is how he maintains himself. its easier to feel hot by yourself when youre listening to music than to deal with the idea of being perceived! :D

pomefiore — 🍏

vil definitely listens to pop. i think that’s a given for any influencer. but i also think he has a secret love for musicals! he’s most likely a classically trained actor, after all. all pomefiore kids give me the vibe of theater kids, especially because theyre actors. ride the cyclone is probably a favorite among him. and wicked. especially wicked.

rook is the one that gave me the hardest time. i didnt exactly know what he’d like to listen to because… frankly he doesnt share next to anything about himself so its near impossible to do a reading on him. like, genuinely, what the fuck. but yk. he IS a fanboy of neige. it isnt hard to imagine he likes k-pop and j-pop (or the twst equivalent). honestly, the idea that he’s a stan is so funny to me that i cant imagine him listening to much of anything else. that man writes fanfiction can poetry be considered fanfiction? about his classmates!!! he can be considered a stan!!!!!!! just an extremely eccentric one

ngl i dont know a lot about asian pop but uh… i like MAMAMOO and MOMOLAND???? literally cannot give you recommendations for this one soz

epel’s music taste came to me the moment i played chapter 5. country rap that’s a little misogynistic. yes epel is one of those kids who went thru a “i hate women” phase when he was younger because he didnt know how to grapple with his own ideas of how to be comfortable with his masculinity and femininity and wanted to uphold traditional gender roles due to a lack of fundamental misunderstanding of feminist theory and how the patriarchy includes men and a general insecurity of his body. i cannot give you recommendations because i am not a misogynist and the only country rapper i like is girliepop

ignihyde — 🎧

idia’s music taste is already confirmed. premo is said to be a hardcore metal idol group that has concerts until everyone passes out. i get a lot of people think he listens to vocaloid and other internet famous genres but tbh i think he thinks that hes too good for that shit. idia is a hipster before he is a nerd. idia would listen to PassCode, a heavy metal idol group. the only difference between it and premo is that PassCode has a more eletronica feel to it. itd fit right at home with our resident leet speak gamer. this is my PassCode propaganda post. listen to PassCode.

i cant say what orthro’s music taste is because i havent played through chapter 6 yet (im trying to upgrade all my srs to level 30 first). but i dont think he’d listen to music. this can be amended tho when i play thru it and i feel like my position has changed

diasomnia — 🪡

malleus was not hard for me at all. to be fair, i originally wrote all of these down on an instagram post and by the end, i was a little delirious. or just in tune with my creativity. either way, i was on a roll. i think malleus would listen to a mixture of musicals, opera, and ballet. it very specifically needs to be classical music that has a performance with it. considering that malleus is kind of a gamer, i think his attention span is a little short to stand an hour of pure music. plus, theyre things you can be invited to and experience with friends / family. imo, he’s a fan of swan lake and the phantom of the opera. something so hauntingly beautiful you cant look away with the added bonus of being able to peer into the tragedy of mortality and the human condition.

lilia listens to screamo and i have nothing to elaborate on that. i pray everyday that he listens to be your own pet. he probably has and legally that means i must sacrifice my life for him

silver would listen to bedroom pop. get it? ehhh? wow tough crowd. but i think he’d listen to bedroom pop because despite everyone’s attempts to get him into metal as an attempt to keep him awake, the slow and sleepy melodies of mxmtoon singing about simple joys in life is just too enchanting to turn away. hes a human first before hes a retainer. humans cant help but indulge in the simple pleasures

sebek was only tricky because i do not care for his character. for everyone else, i have some sort of interest in them but diasomnia just… doesnt exactly appeal to me for some reason. anyways, i think he’d listen to new age jazz. new age jazz is pretty easy to understand and can be as loud or as soft as one wants. probably something with instrumentals because he wants to focus on whatever hes doing rather than the music. new age and not the classics because he is still 16 and like… not as old as malleus lol

— thanks for reading ~

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formosusiniquis · 2 years

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Water is wet, the sky is blue, and Eddie Munson is a music snob.

Sure, he listens to more music than Steve even knew existed. Sure, he can curate a playlist that gets you from Korn to Disney without it feeling jarring. Sure, he can give you a full college quality lecture on the history of modern rock and metal and how it can all be traced back to the blues.

But he’s also the same guy who brutally eviscerates anything that even approaches popularity. He’s watched Eddie drop bands the second their music starts making radio play because it’s a short trip to an album that’s been engineered in a lab for maximum radio play.

An educated music snob is still a snob is the point.

But the rest of their friend group is also a collection of snobs and bitches, so when Eddie suggested they do a Spotify Wrapped viewing party it quickly became an annual tradition. They all make sure they have the night off when the Wrapped drops, meeting up at Steve’s house where they spend the night stuffing their faces and roasting each other for the music that made up their soundtrack to the year.

Eddie the Snobbish is of course the most vocal critic.

“Girl in Red, Buckley, really? There is such a thing as leaning too far into the stereotype.”

“Get fucked, Munson, they’re my number five.”

“And your number two is Hayley Kiyoko, but she’s actually good so I kept her out of it. Honestly, it’d be faster to just shout from the rooftops that you’re queer.”

“Yeah, yeah, wait ‘til we get to you, Eddie.”

“I drew 7 so you’ll have to wait a little bit longer.

It goes like that all night. Eddie makes at least one comment about each person’s wrapped as the night goes on. But then everyone takes at least one crack at the others. From listen time to top genres nothing is safe and nothing is sacred. Sometimes the only comment needed is the sounds of nine other people shrieking in laughter because Accidentally in Love from the Shrek 2 soundtrack cracked your top 5.

“Seriously, Sinclair, the rest of it is so good!”

“I refuse to be critiqued by the same man I caught singing Nickelback last week.”

“Damn, seeing the family resemblance between you and Lady Applejack now.”

Sometimes his mockery is flavored like concern.

“William, the top .05% of Mitski listeners? Do you need help? Should we call your mom? This feels like a cry for help.”

“She’s classically trained, musically a genius. Sorry, we can’t all spend our time listening to Ozzy struggle through a basic melody.”

And Eddie isn’t afraid to get other people in on his snobbery.

“Ten bucks, Stevie, your little Dusty has Weird Al in his top 5.”

“I don’t make bets, I know I’m going to lose. That’d be like saying ‘I bet he’s going to have Neverending Story in his top 5’, it’s practically guaranteed.”

Robin’s not as afraid to get involved, “Five bucks, Neverending Story is his number 1.”

“Oh you’re on, Bucks, no way it’s not a parody.”

They’re both wrong, deciding that neither is out the money, and Steve wishing he had gone ahead and bet when it turns out to be a movie instrumental. “He can’t listen to music with words when he’s building shit, and he’s always tinkering with something in his room.”

“It was from the Neverending Story soundtrack, I still think that means I win.”

“Absolutely not.”

It’s always a big moment when it’s finally Eddie’s turn, he’s the whole reason they had to start drawing their places at random. He spends so much time talking shit about everyone else’s music taste that by the time his turn rolls around half the group is ravenous, a pack of feral dogs snarling at a feast before them, ready to give him a taste of his own medicine.

The earliest bits are the most boring. The strange emotion tags are always a little jarring, though no one is surprised when spooky makes its way onto Eddie’s. It’s a little concerning just how much time Eddie is clocking on Spotify, “Over 40,000 minutes, Eddie, that’s almost an entire month.”

“How come your math is never that quick when you’re adding up your damage, Henderson?”

And then Spotify helpfully announces that Eddie Munson's most played song of the year is Head Over Heels by Tears for fucking Fears, clocking in at 267 plays.

It could go without saying that all hell then breaks loose, but then not saying it makes it sound like a regular amount of hell is breaking loose. And not the kind of hell that can only come from a room full of people who show their affection through ruthless teasing and mockery finding a massive hole in the armor of someone who had spent most of their friendship unassailable.

It’s mean. It’s targeted. It’s the standard brand of teasing that this group is built on.

It would be a lot funnier if Eddie, someone who is normally pretty good about taking the same kind of shit that he deals out, didn’t look like he wanted the floor to swallow him up.

The jokes all reach a logical end. The kids have a killer’s instinct when it comes to weakness, but they’re soft where it counts, and there’s not a joke in the world that’s still funny when it’s being laughed at instead of with.

And Steve, normally the first to tease Eddie about his dad rock playlist can’t think of a single thing to say that isn’t going to come out, “Why was your day with the most listens right after the weekend trip we took for my birthday?”

That wasn’t going to be, “Do you want this the way that I do?”

The rest of the reveal is standard, nearly 19 hours of playtime does put Tears for Fears in the 5th spot of Eddie’s Top Artists but no one comments on it. Steve doesn’t even make fun of Eddie for being the only person under 40 to still listen to Metallica.

Because he’s finally found something to say that isn’t going to come out, “Do you know someone else who only listens to new wave or do listen to that song and think about me?”

“I’m going next.” Eddie finally, finally, makes eye contact with him instead of staring out into the middle distance. Maybe his announcement does sound more like, ‘let me say it back.’

“Steve, you drew last. Nancy’s next.”

Nancy, who knows him uniquely. Knows him in a way that no one, except maybe Eddie one day, ever will. Nancy cuts through the bullshit decisively. “Steve can go next.”

“No appreciation for the rules, why do we even have them?”

Steve does not give a single shit about his wrapped outside of it being a source of amusement for his friends. His taste in music is as close to nonexistent as it gets and, really, if he’s going to listen to something he’s probably going to pick a book over music if he’s by himself.

Except this year.

The teasing is a little tamer now. Normally, Steve is happy to take the brunt of it.

From Eddie picking at his lack of taste. “Pick a genre, Steve, god.”

To the kids joining in because they want to impress Eddie, “Can you even listen to the playlist without getting whiplash? I Will Survive to Part of Your World, jeez.” Nevermind that they’re both basically power ballads, and Wheeler can mock but I Will Survive was the soundtrack to his break up with Nance and sometimes he wants to be both nostalgic and angry-sad.

This year is quiet, like they’re worried they went too far with Eddie and now they’re afraid to take shots at their other favorite babysitter.

It’s fine. Steve has pretty much unfailingly had one song playing at any point anymore. Maybe it took him a little longer than April, but he knows without a doubt what his top song of the year is going to be.

Eddie takes the armchair for Wrapped nights, he’s the meanest normally and says he wants to be out of the direct line of fire of any noogies or Robin’s lethal elbows. It means Steve has to reach to kick the side of the chair to make sure Eddie is watching.

Rainbow in the Dark was Steve’s number one song this year with 171 plays.

And maybe it would be appropriate to say that all hell breaks loose once again. Steve wouldn’t really know, too busy staring at Eddie. He’s in the eye of the storm now, while chaos breaks out around him Steve can only wait to see how Eddie reacts.

Wonders if that pink blush is because Eddie realizes that the day he repeated it the most was right after he heard Eddie play it for the first time. Fell asleep to it playing on repeat, thinking about Eddie’s fingers and Eddie’s smile, drowning out the sounds of fireworks that still trigger panic.

"It makes me think of you," Eddie, brave and shy and only hiding part of his face behind his hair, answers the only question Steve needed answered.

"Yeah," he agrees, hoping it sounds less like a breathless demand for reassurance and more like, 'listening to this song all year was the closest I could get to imagining what it could be like having you.'

"Yeah." And Steve hears, 'I still expect to be wined and dined, Harrington.' Maybe because it's the kind of silly request Eddie would make, or maybe he just likes giving the people he cares about everything he can.

"But seriously, Stevie, why the fuck is Careless Whisper in your top 5? It should be a crime for Dio and George Michael to be that close together."

#stranger things #stranger things fic #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #my fic #long post #i don't always write modern fic but when i do it's because eddie munson deserves to have a spotify wrapped #the mortifying ordeal of having your crush specific song make your top 5

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hughungrybear · 2 months

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Get to Know Me Tag :)

I was tagged by @telomeke in their post here. Thanks for the tag! 🥰

do you make your bed?

Yes. To be fair though, I am not a messy sleeper 😅. Let's just say that, in less than a minute, I can make the bed I slept in look like it hadn't been slept in lol 🤣🤣🤣

what's your favourite number?

I was born on the 9th day of the 9th month. Imagine how obnoxious I was back in '99 lol. 😁

what is your job?

Let's just say I'm fortunate enough to have an occupation that lets me do experiments, mix nefarious things, obtain spectacular (fail) results, and get paid while I'm at it 😅

if you could go back to school, would you?

I often describe myself as an infinite learner. So, while it's true that I can learn things outside of uni, there are still some things that I want to comprehend in an academic setting. I mean, how else can I get my hands on a Scanning Electron Microscope, spectrophotometer, and the like?? 😅

can you parallel park?

Yes. Curiously, my parallel park is better than my reverse parking lol.

a job you had that would surprise people?

Not a job, but most people are surprised when I tell them that I used to be a competitive cheerleader/dancer 😅😅😅 Apparently, I don't look "perky" enough lol. Another thing that also surprises other people is when I tell them I used to do theatre and even played the Virgin Mary in a school play back in high school. Again, my resting bitch face is working against me 🤣🤣🤣

do you think aliens are real?

I'll believe when there is definitive proof that there are. And before I get dragged into the mud, the same goes with religious stuff. I might have played the role of the Virgin Mary in a school theatre, but I am agnostic, at best lol.

can you drive a manual car?

Yes. I actually prefer driving manual cars to automatic because I tend to get bored easily and shifting gears helps me focus lol.

what's your guilty pleasure?

I usually drink unlimited amounts of long black coffee during the day and drink beer mixed with vodka before bedtime. But I will prolly live happily ever after if somebody gives me unlimited access to some tasty chicken nuggets lol

tattoos?

I would want some but I don't like needles lol

favorite color?

I like reds, yellows, and blues.

favorite type of music?

Depends on my mood. There are times I like heavy metal. Other times I would prefer classical music. However, I do like The Beatles so their music is always somewhere in my Spotify playlists.

do you like puzzles?

Yes. I used to do cryptograms and logic puzzles while commuting to my uni.

any phobias?

Does fear itself count? 😅 No, the worst that I feel is anxiety. However, I could always convince myself to face whatever it is that is giving me anxiety. For example, I might not like needles, but I can still get my vaccination with little fuss lol.

favorite childhood sport?

Running. I just like getting from one place to another as fast as my legs could carry.

do you talk to yourself?

If I am alone, yes. I even address myself in the third person 😅

what movies do you adore?

I listed some of my faves in a different tag game here.

coffee or tea?

Definitely coffee but my GP is on my ass for having low blood pressure so I am slowly migrating to green tea 😅 😅 😅

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

Pretty sure I wanted to be a librarian because (1) I'll be surrounded by books, (2) I will be able to hear myself think since libraries are quiet, and (3) it's almost guaranteed that I will be (mostly) left alone 😅 😅 😅

Whew. Tagging @dribs-and-drabbles, @lost-my-sanity1, @imlivingformyselfdontmindme, @waitmyturtles and everybody who sees this and wants to play this game 😊

#tag game

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ghostradiodylan · 6 months

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Which Hacketteers do you think are pro Christmas music and who do you think is totally against it?

Okay this is a great question and such a hard one for me because I’m kind of ambivalent about Christmas music myself! I like it fine for a couple of days beforehand but when it starts playing in stores right after Halloween? I’m still in spooky mode, stop trying to make me be merry for the sake of capitalism! 😂

Also given the setting of New York state, I wonder if any of them come from Jewish or otherwise non-Christian families. Idk who’s most likely to fit into that category but it’s a consideration. Christmas culture infects everyone though lol.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

I feel like Jacob is a literal child so he probably gets super excited about everything Christmas and is like helping his parents put up elaborate light displays and buying Christmas themed snacks and stuff, so he’s probably listening to Christmas music the day after Halloween and I feel like Emma might be similar. Emma might come Christmas caroling at your house because she loves performing so much! Emma doesn’t mind a pop cover or a bit of Mariah Carey at all.

Kaitlyn might be a total Grinch if left to her own devices but she can’t help indulging Jacob a little. She doesn’t mind Christmas music in the context of Christmas movies but she probably wouldn’t listen to it on purpose just for fun. She has a secret soft spot for the soundtrack to The Muppet Christmas Carol.

I feel like the holidays might be complicated for Ryan. We don’t know why his mom isn’t around, though I obviously have my headcanons for fiction, but that might make it a little bit of a tough time for him. At the same time, he seems really invested in his sister so he probably wants to make Christmas special for her. He lives with his grandparents, so maybe they’re listening to the more classic, old school Christmas music and jazz covers and he’s probably fine with that.

Dylan I think could go either way, either he’s rolling his eyes about it altogether or he’s making massive playlists of indie and alt rock covers and then throwing in annoying goofy songs like “Dominick the Donkey” and “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.” I think he probably does not want to hear Christmas music prior to Thanksgiving. But maybe I’m just projecting as I often do.

Abi’s watching The Nightmare Before Christmas on repeat to match her Hot Topic aesthetic. 😂 She likes that original soundtrack and the various artist cover versions and “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” by Fall Out Boy. But when it’s actually the week of Christmas she gives in and gets into the regular cheery stuff.

I wonder how long Nick has been in the US because I always think it has to be so weird for Australians to have all this wintery themed Christmas music when it’s summer in their hemisphere at Christmas time! Maybe he gets really into it because it’s so different from what he’s used to. Or maybe he gets cranky and misses the summer and listens to Tim Minchin’s “White Wine in the Sun” to remember warmer holidays. Could go either way.

Maybe it’s his 50’s fit talking, but I imagine Max being into the old crooner type Christmas music, Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra and more recently stuff like Michael Bublé that’s copying that style. I feel like he starts terribly serenading Laura with that music in early November.

I feel like Laura might not get super into Christmas until school is out because she’s so driven, so maybe she pushes all that out of her mind until then, except when Max is badly crooning “White Christmas” in the shower. But then again, I also headcanoned her as a choir kid in high school so she probably had concerts to practice for too that made her get into the spirit earlier than she really wanted.

Thanks for the asks today y’all! I think my brain is tapped out but I will be meditating on some I can send back! 💜💜💜

#the quarry #merry quarrymas #jacob custos #emma mountebank #dylan lenivy #ryan erzahler #kaitlyn ka #abi blyg #nick furcillo #max brinly #laura kearney #beautiful asks from beautiful people #thank you kat 💜

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etherealperrie · 2 years

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HEARTFIRST {pt. IX}

– In which a trip down to the San Diego Naval base to visit an old friend turns out to be more than a simple reunion, as the reader finds herself in the presence of an infuriating, cocky blonde and an old flame she thought had long fizzled out. –

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader, Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Contains: Bi!Natasha | Reader is old friends with Natasha “Phoenix” Trace | Reader has a past with Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw” | Reader has a lot of feelings about Jake “Hangman” Seresin

Warnings: angst ahead ya'll, explicit language | italics indicate a flashback |

A/N: Part nine! I'm sorry this took so long for me to post, but I hope you enjoy it all the same! Tag-list is at the bottom, go ahead and send me a message or reply to this post if you'd like to be added for future parts of this story. Special shoutout to @thebeautifullydamnedone for helping beta & run through ideas with me! Also I hope you all forgive me for this lol <3 If you'd like to go back and read part 1, you can do that here. Or, read part 2. Or 3. Or 4. Or 5. Or 6. Or 7. Or 8. Also, check out my playlists for the dynamic of each guy & reader, you can do that here: Hangman x Reader & Rooster x Reader

...

The Hard Deck is packed, not unlike any other night, but tonight the air is electric. Whoops and hollers bounce off the walls, mixing with the music, men and women shouting to one another. You smile, basking in the warmth of the room as you push past bodies towards the mass of khaki uniforms in the familiar back corner of the bar.

Natasha’s eyes light up as you emerge from the crowd, her smile stretching from one ear to the other. She drops the pool cue in her hand and throws her hands in the air, running to you. It’s a warm embrace, the scent of her floral perfume swirling around you. You missed her. You missed this, of all things, being in this bar surrounded by khaki uniforms and classic rock music. The rest of the guys – Payback, Fanboy, and Bob – swarm you next, pulling you in and out of hugs. You’re happy to see them, happy the mission was a success; that it brought them all back home.

Someone hands you a beer and you smile, tapping your bottle against theirs. A hand snakes around your waist, tugging you in for a hug before you have a chance to knock bottles with the rest of the team. Laughing, you breathe in the scent of Bradley’s familiar cologne. He’s solid beneath you, his arms squeezing you tightly, your breath catching in your throat as you try to exclaim.

He releases you after a moment and you finally get a chance to take him in. He looks the same: it had only been two weeks since you saw him – any of them. He looks refreshed, happy to be here, happy to have the pressure of the mission lifted from his shoulders. Smiling, he taps his beer bottle to yours and you both take a drink, your eyes holding one another’s gaze.

“I told you I’d see you here,” you say, swallowing your mouthful of beer. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“It’s good to be back,” he sighs.

You thought that maybe seeing him here tonight might be too much, even though the last time you spoke was entirely amicable. You love him. He loves you. That would be a constant for you. It just can’t be. It won’t be, and that’s okay. Being here with him now, seeing him again, is just the same as seeing Natasha and the rest of the pilots: you’re simply happy they’re safe. Besides, it’s not Bradley you left on bad terms with. It’s not your conversation with him a couple of weeks ago that haunts you.

“Bradshaw!” an older man sitting at the bar shouts. Bradley tears his gaze from you to nod at the man, laughing as he waves him over. “Come here, I’ve been telling Penny all about you.” Bradley shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders, placing his hand on the small of his back to pass by you.

“Good to see you, Bradley” you whisper as he moves through the crowd. You watch him as he moves between the bodies of the room and you scan the faces of each person he passes, your subconscious searching for the one person you’ve yet to find. Blonde hair. Piercing green eyes. That cocky, lop-sided, Ken doll smile. Any piece of him.

Sighing, you return to the group, your heart settling itself into its familiar home somewhere between your chest and your stomach. You hoped you’d find him here tonight: it was part of the reason you came at all. You wanted to apologize, to explain that what you did – leaving him that night – was wrong. To tell him that every moment you were apart, he consumed your every waking thought. You felt awful, leaving him like that before the biggest mission of his career and it killed you not knowing how he felt. It was, perhaps, your biggest regret. But, he clearly didn’t want to see you; not now and not then.

“Jake, come on,” you beg, banging your open palm against his bedroom door. “Open the door. Please.”

The silence is deafening as it consumes you, swallowing you from all sides. There’s not even a rustle of movement behind the door and somehow, that’s worse than anything. It hurts more knowing he was already so set in his decision against you. Knowing that you’d fucked up everything in a matter of minutes, all because you’d been so desperate to see Bradley. If there was an inkling that Jake might still be deciding, that he was still making up his mind – the soft echo of footsteps as he paced the floor of his room or the jostle of the door handle – you could cling onto some sort of hope he might forgive you. But it’s just silent.

It’d been hours since you left him. You lost track of time with Bradley, a habit you never really kicked. When you left the air hangar, you searched everywhere: The Hard Deck, the common room, the beach, but he was nowhere to be found. It didn’t help that he apparently hadn’t told anyone where he’d gone, Omaha and Coyote could only shrug their shoulders and offer blank stares when you asked them. It was hopeless, so you returned to the last place he might be, but now the idea he’d holed up in his room feels foolish.

Steadying yourself, you wrap one hand around the door handle and push down, your heart thumping roughly against your ribcage as the cool metal clicks, the door opening.

“Jake?” you ask, stepping through the frame. You half expect to see him curled up in his bed, his back turned to you, but the bed is empty, still unmade. You spin around, your eyes catching every detail of the room: the photos of him and his family on the dresser, his sunglasses on the desk, and his sweatshirt draped over the edge of bed. You step towards it and run your fingers across the material, smiling at the memory.

“So now do I get to turn you in for trespassing?”

You jump at the sound of his voice, strained as he catches his breath. He doesn’t wait for you to turn around, moving into the room with a seemingly unaffected confidence. Brushing your arm, he moves towards the dresser in front of you, tugging a drawer open. Your breath catches at the sight of him and you swallow hard, suppressing the desire bubbling inside at the vision of him shirtless, a pair of dark gray running shorts hung low on his hips.

“The door was unlocked,” you reason, taking a step towards him. “I was looking for you.”

He nods slowly, pulling a shirt out from the drawer and slipping it on in the same second. He turns to face you now, leaning against the dresser, his arms crossed.

“I was out for a run.”

“You went for a run in the middle of the night?”

“I needed to clear my head,” he asserts. His words are short, his tone sharp, just as yours were to him mere hours ago.

“Look, Jake, I’m sorry, I-”

“Hey, I get it. You’re right. It was a good night.”

“Wait, Jake, no,” you stammer, closing the space between you in one last step. Your hand brushes his arm, practically begging him to relax, to undo his arms and take you into them. You knew he had something he wanted to say to you and you needed to know, even if you had to physically pry it out of him. Or, perhaps after you abandoned him, that desire to share his feelings with you vanished into thin air. You look up at him, scanning his face for something you could decode, but he’s unreadable. His eyes avoid yours, looking past you rather than at you, his bottom lip curled up into an expressionless line.

“Can’t we talk about this?”

“I don’t know what else there is to talk about,” he sighs, shaking his head. “You’re the one who said it. You’re the one who left me tonight to go see your ex!”

You open your mouth to argue, but stop yourself. He’s right. You’d done those things and you did them without a second thought about how they’d make Jake feel. You owe it to him to hear him out, to give him space to breathe, to think it over and figure out how he feels. He’d given you that, even if it wasn’t his choice.

Jake groans, uncrossing his arms to rake a hand through his hair roughly, ruffling the soft blonde strands. Drifting from the dresser to the bed, pushing past you, he heaves a rather heavy sigh, his eyes finally landing on you. That familiar thread wraps itself around your heart and pulls gently, encouraging you to follow suit and plop down onto the bed next to him, but you ignore it, knowing Jake deserves his space. It’s not the time for selfishness.

“Look, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. And I’m glad you came back. I don’t know what happened between you and Bradley tonight and I don’t want to.” He drops his head, his hands clasped together loosely between his knees. You watch as his thumb rubs small circles into his skin, working to soothe himself. He takes another breath. “But I think we should leave it. At least for now. I-I can’t be a second choice.”

No, no. He’s not the second choice, he never has been. A heaviness settles in your chest knowing what you’ve made him feel. You suck in a breath.

“Jake, I-” you start, taking a step towards him.

“Plus, with the mission coming so soon, I can’t…” he looks back up at you, his green eyes surrounded with red; you’re not sure if it’s exhaustion, stress, or tears. “I can’t do this. We have to be so focused right now and I just-”

You shake your head, lifting your gaze from him to the ceiling. It’s suddenly no different than before. The pilot doesn’t matter, nor does the timing or the connection or the feelings. It’s all the same. Sniffling, you just nod, choking back tears. He’s cleared his head. He’d come clean.

“If that’s what you want, Jake.”

There’s not much you remember after that. The sting of the conversation, the chill of his words and his nonchalance numbed you from the inside out. The gap in your memory from your last words to your departure the following morning haunts you, even still. It’s probably for the best that you don’t remember, though, Natasha’s retelling of that night doesn’t paint a pretty picture. Despite your leaving the day before their mission, you secretly hoped Jake might change his mind, that he might try to come find you, but he didn’t. You couldn’t blame him; it would be selfish of you to ask that of him or even assume it to be possible. But still, there persists that part of you that just wishes to be chosen, fervently, in spite of the uncertainty of life, no matter how unrealistic that fantasy might be.

“Hey, are you okay?” Natasha asks, leaning in, her lips near your ear. You turn to her, emerging from your head back into the room. Nodding, you smile, pushing the last memory of Jake from your mind.

“Of course, I’m great.” you mumble.

Natasha glances around the room then back to you. “You’re still a shit liar, you know that, right?” She has a way of seeing right through you. It’s a blessing and a curse. Setting down your beer on the edge of the pool table, you sigh.

“I just hoped that maybe Jake would be here.”

“Yeah,” she sighs, “me too.”

Your brow furrows and you look at her, a question in your gaze, hoping she’ll continue to explain herself. She shrugs and takes another drink of beer.

“Tash, do you know something I don’t?”

She hums, shaking her head. “If I knew where he was I’d tell you.” Holding up her right hand, she crosses it over her heart, “scouts honor.”

“I’m going to choose to believe you,” you smile.

“Even if he was here,” she starts, “do you think you could handle seeing him again?”

You shrug your shoulders, taking your bottom lip between your teeth as you consider her question.

“I don’t think I could handle not seeing him again,” you say. “There’s already too much left unsaid, you know?”

Natasha just nods, her hand instinctively moving to your hair, tucking a stray piece back behind your ear as she combs through the strands with her fingertips. It’s the same motion she repeated over and over in an attempt to comfort you the night Jake called things off while you laid sniffling in her lap late into the night.

“He hates me,” you cry, tucking your head farther into your sweatshirt. Ironically, it’s the one Bradley left you with, yet the familiar scent of his cologne doesn’t work its usual magic in calming you down.

Natasha clicks her tongue, running her fingers through the ends of your hair with one hand, the other passing you tissues as you need, your near constant flow of tears disintegrating the soft paper in seconds.

“He doesn’t hate you.”

You lift your head from her lap and she smiles softly at you, apprehension in her eyes as she takes you in – a snively, red-nosed, teary-eyed mess. You dab the tears at your eyes with the sleeve of Bradley’s sweatshirt and take a deep breath, filling your lungs with air. You feel awful to burden Natasha with this, especially when she’s exhausted, but she refused to let you drive home. Apparently this was the most “together” you’d been in hours. The only thing you remembered was rushing to the bathroom after leaving Jake and sliding to the floor, praying there was no one else around to hear your sobs. When Natasha found you an hour later, you’d assumed full-fetal position: not your proudest moment, but definitely your most dramatic. You’d never been one to handle rejection well and something about it coming from Jake – after your heart had chosen him – was a deeper cut than you could’ve imagined. It seems as though no matter who you choose, you weren’t chosen in return. There was always something in your way.

“I left him for Bradley, of course he hates me. Or, he thinks I hate him, which is worse. H-he thinks he’s my second choice or that we won’t survive the mission and I didn’t even get to say –”

“Hey,” Natasha coos, taking your hand between hers. Her skin is warm and soft, reassuring. “He just needs a second to think is all, give him some time. He’ll come around.”

“I don’t think so Tash,” you say, wiping your nose on yet another tissue. Your eyes connect with hers as you sigh. “I fucked up.”

“We all fuck up, it’s a part of life.” She releases your hand and exhales a gentle breath, “so we have to learn to give ourselves some grace. It’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”

“Come on,” Natasha nods, smiling to herself as she notices you come back to her and to the present moment. She points at the open pool table across the bar. “Would kicking Bradshaw’s ass at pool help distract you?”

“Maybe,” you sniffle, knocking hips with her.

The night went better than you expected. Whether it was the continuous flow of beer, the somehow superb shuffle of music coming from the jukebox, or the hilarious retellings of the same stories from each pilot’s point of view, you weren’t sure, but they all mixed together to help mend your broken heart and easily distracted mind.

On the drive back home, you only thought about Jake once, maybe twice. When Bradley sang his praises earlier in the evening, raising a glass to him for saving his and Maverick’s lives on their most recent mission, crediting him with a second air combat kill, you could basically see him before you, his smug smile prominent. He’d run his tongue along his perfectly white teeth and wink, shrugging his shoulders as if it wasn’t his proudest accomplishment, but something he did on the regular. A month ago, that smile would’ve sent your eyes rolling, but tonight, your heart yearns to witness it even just one more time. Your heart aches at the notion that you weren’t able to congratulate him. It seemed unlike him to miss a night like this and especially a chance to gloat in front of his friends, but you pushed the questions aside, choosing to focus on the moment happening before you instead.

When you arrive home, you send a message off to Natasha, assuring her that you’d made it home safely and thanking her for the night out. It’s much quieter here, in your small seaside neighborhood than on-base. On most nights, you’re grateful for the silence and the gentle chorus of crickets in the distance, but tonight it does anything but comfort you. It’s easier for your mind to wander here in the silence. Brushing thoughts of Jake aside, you trot up to the front door and unlock it, slipping through the door frame and tucking out of your shoes and jacket with ease.

Sighing, you flick on the lights and head towards the kitchen, hoping a glass of water might help cure the alcohol-induced headache beginning to knock at the base of your skull.

Your phone buzzes in the back pocket of your jeans, startling you. Assuming it’s Natasha reacting to your last message with some kind of emoticon, you fish it from your pocket and flick open the messages. Your heart lifts at the sight of Bradley’s contact photo at the top of the screen.

Bradley: Hey! Just checking in. Are you okay?

Exhaling a sharp breath, you look between the message and the floor, unsure of what he means. You type a message back quickly, working to reassure him. Though, you’re not sure what kind of answer he’s looking for; or why he’s asking.

You: Yeah, I’m fine!

Bradley: Well, that was super convincing.

You didn’t think anyone else other than Natasha picked up on your mood tonight. In hindsight, it was foolish to assume Bradley – of all people – wouldn’t notice. After all, he was the only other person who knew about your feelings for Jake, even if you never told him directly.

You: What can I do to convince you?

Bradley: You just didn’t seem quite yourself tonight – you didn’t even gloat when you beat me at pool.

You: That’s because I felt bad for you!

Bradley: I just want to make sure you’re okay, is all…with everything that’s happened.

A tinge of pain strikes your chest followed closely by a swell of emotion soothing it over. Whether he knew what happened between you and Jake or not, it’s nice to know he cares for you. And you’re not lying, you really are okay. You tap your way across the screen, halfway through composing your next message when the chime of the doorbell echoes through the house, capturing your attention.

You glance up at the time on the microwave, it’s nearly midnight. Your doorbell almost never rings; if it does, you rarely answer, choosing to stand behind the door instead, watching intently through the peep-hole until the visitor finally gives in and walks away. Something about tonight feels different, though, your heart racing in anticipation rather than your usual Pavlovian response of fear or annoyance at the sound.

Pushing yourself off the counter, you continue typing as you make your way towards the front door.

You: Wait…where are you right now?

It’s stupid to assume it might be Bradley behind the door, but somehow, it wouldn’t surprise you. He’d often show up unannounced when you were together with either a bottle of wine or take-out from your favorite restaurant he picked up after a full day of training. It was his favorite way to apologize for not being around and it was your favorite way to see him: Rosé in one hand, California Rolls in the other, topped off with a playful smile and deep brown, apologetic eyes.

Sighing, you traipse into the entryway and unlock the door, not bothering to spy through the peep-hole. You check your phone one last time, worried you might have missed a notification, but there’s still nothing back from Bradley.

You tug the door open, your eyes landing on a familiar, tall figure. The full image of him comes into view as your eyes adjust to the darkness, but it doesn’t take long for you to recognize the silhouette: the one you hadn’t been able to shake from your mind for the past month. His cutting jawline is on display for you as he lifts his chin from the ground up to you, his green eyes connecting with yours as he sucks in a breath.

“Jake?” you ask, breathless.

His face brightens under the gentle glow of your porch light at the sound of your voice, his lips lifting into that heart stopping smile.

"Hey," he whispers.

...

TAGLIST: @callsign-blue @arianna-bradshaw @n3ssm0nique @blue-aconite @supernaturaldawning @revolution-starter @saramaple @bittergomez @coco-loco-nut @unluckymonaghan @jointherebellion215 @supernaturalstuff83 @kkrenae @littlebear423 @shadeds-library @malums-trash-can @maggiedanikka @rintheemolion @tallrock35 @thebeautifullydamnedone

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bonesandthebees · 3 months

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Internship is certainly going. I want to say going okay… I could be doing better but I kinda got unlucky with my internship spot and workload. This would be much easier to explain if I could just say what kinda of internship it is, but that kinda feels like too much details both for my current degree and the job I’ll be doing after. (Internet safety and all that). Anyway, what I can say is that anyone in the field irl pulls a face when they hear about my internship. The workload feels impossible, but somehow I’m doing it and I’m about half way through so *aggressively knocks on wood* it should be fine.

I do have a different internship in like a month or so and some other projects but those feel like child’s play compared to the current hell incarnate. So moral of the story: sometimes you just get to have a few mental breakdowns, pick yourself back up and go again the next day (again and again and again and again). It’s like that quote: [“It gets a little bit easier every day, but you have to keep doing it.”] or what’s the other one? [the only way out is through]. And then take plenty of breaks and do fun things even if it feels like you don’t have the time because that’s the only thing that’ll keep you going. The world is always more manageable after a good meal or a power nam or a 15 minute music break.

I’ve been blasting a lot of music based on moods, getting back into Dutch music because girl, I need to learn how to spell properly and every internship I have a song that gets me through. This one it’s ‘secret for the mad’ by Dodie. I’ve had to loop it over and over to get the motivation to try at times, to really let the words sink in, but it helps. So find a song to get you through when you need it.

Lastly, I’ve been meaning to say something about Him, but I just haven’t had the time and energy to write something coherent (aka I’m not using my 30 minutes of evening downtime that are just for me for this negative energy). Best thing is can say is that this is a good opportunity to get into new creators. Just have fun with it (hermitcraft season 10 has been getting be through this). Listen to new music. Try new things to fill the void. I’ve pruned all my playlists and social media follows and such and it felt like a fresh start. (Oh and learned your red flags people. People who don’t respect your boundaries (no matter how small) can be(come) very dangerous.)

My only issue now is that I can play since I saw Vienna and La Jolla on guitar (the picking patterns always smooth me), but now I’m not sure if I can keep doing that. I haven’t tried playing them. I feel like I should look at the lyrics first then decide. But I haven’t found any picking songs with the same soothing vibe, so I’ve been playing a bunch of my classical pieces and I really like playing the ‘romantic’ ones and for some reason the polkas and the blues? So again filling the void.

Anyway, thanks for all the well wishes. I’ve been missing you guys. This has been chaotic life updates with Spruce. I really need to start being productive now. So, bye!

-🌲

yeah of course don't say any details that would reveal too much info about you, but man that sounds stressful :( at least you'll switch to something else in a month?? I'm so sorry you're stuck in hell rn I hope you get through it alright!! make sure to take it easy when you can!! you're so right the world is so much easier to deal with after a power nap or a snack

oooo I haven't heard secret for the mad in a long time but I used to listen to dodie from time to time. I used to think of such angsty scenarios with my ships while listening to 'sick of losing soulmates'

also it's so real to have a song to help you get through shit like that. I'd say rn for me one of those songs is all american bitch by olivia rodrigo because I just have a lot of fun screaming it in the car. tested waters by loupe is a calmer one I've been listening to on repeat lately

you're right this is a great opportunity to get into new creators. I was already drifting to watching qsmp creators more often besides just phil and tubbo, but now I've been trying to tune into bagi and tina's streams if I have the time

definitely look at the lyrics first, but I feel like out of most of the ycgma songs since I saw vienna and la jolla are two of the 'safest' options you could pick for something like that. at least compared to your sister was right and losing face...

la jolla and since i saw vienna are both such pretty songs though. there's nothing wrong with playing those on your own guitar I'd say? it's not giving any money to him. but of course it's up to your own personal comfort.

good luck spruce!!! ty for checking in we all miss you over here!! <33

#ask #spruce anon

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bonesox · 1 year

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OM! Brothers and What Genre of Music I Think They Listen To

a/n: This idea has been on my head for the past week! Feel free to share what songs/genre/artist they listen to :))

Lucifer:

Classical music

Rock music

Since most of the time when he is listening to music classical music would be for when he really needs to focus. He doesn't listens to songs with singing in them since it distracts him from what he is doing. He sticks to the plain instrumentals.

He listens to rock music when he needs to stay awake or just needs a brain break with a good stretch. Late into the night you can hear a faint rumble coming from his room.

Mammon:

Pop music

Rap music

R&B

He listens to about anything that comes on the radio. Since most of the songs, on some radio stations, is pop he is more drawn towards that. He may even be caught singing these songs.

When he changes the radio station its always to a rap or R&B station. He loves the vibes and lyrics that go into it. He may or may not have tried to right a few rap songs himself.

Leviathan:

K-Pop (All the pops)

Songs from animes

His music taste mainly comes from the media he consumes. Since he always has his headphones on he is always listening to music, which he has on full blast so you can sometimes hear what he's listening to.

What ever anime he is obsessed at the time most of his songs he listens to will be from that. He listens to direct songs from the anime to fan made songs about it.

Satan:

Classical music

Music the theme of the book he's reading.

Just like Lucifer he listens to classical music while he reads or works. Once he put on classical music it is easy for him to get lost in what he is doing. As the music plays in his room he finishes book after book.

To get into the world of the book he is reading he tends to listen to songs that resemble it. It could be anywhere from pop romance songs to folk songs. He has a broad taste in music.

Asmodeus:

Pop/any new hit songs

K-Pop

This mans job is to stay on the trends. He listens to any song thats trending on Devilgram. When a new son starts trending he immediately adds it to his playlist and has it on loop just so he can learn the lyrics.

He doesn't want to admit it but he does listen to K-pop, mainly because Leviathan would freak out. He mainly listens to girls groups and knows all the words to each song! He sometimes hums the tune while he's doing things around the house.

Beelzebub:

Hip hop

Rock

When he first started working out he needed a new work out playlist. Since most of the ones already made had hip hop and rock music in it it became what he listened to. He likes the way it gives him a boost while working out.

He has started listening to more hip hop outside of working out... it helps him not to think of food as much.

Belphegor:

Alternative

Heavy metal

To his surprise one day he woke up to heavy drumming and clanging happening. He wouldn't stop listening and so became his love for alternative music. He loves how when he falls asleep he doesn't know what he could wake up to.

Along with alternative music he enjoys heavy metal the same way. Just the rush of not knowing what you'd wake up to makes him keep going back to that genre.

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #obey me luficer #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me music #obey me asmodeus #obey me fluff

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caffernnn · 6 months

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as a folie a deux stan, would you share your thoughts & feelings about the album

A chance to ramble about one of my all-time faves?? ooOOO SAY LESS MY FRIEND ♥️🧸💛

I think Folie finding a place in my heart was a perfect storm — I’m a new fan falling into obsession with FOB during my mid-teens, and they’re starting to get into the hayday of the post-hiatus SR&R era. So of course, I’m looking through wiki pages, poking through fan pages, seeing interviews here and there (doing research for my sophomore year’s mandatory big research essay, and also satisfying my need to Know Everything™️ ), and I start wondering about how hiatus happened. What’s up with Folie? Why is it listed as not being well-received by fans and painful for the band (at that time)?

It becomes this situation where you’re handing 16-year-old me this misfit outcast album, one with bears on the cover (I’m predictable and easy to please shhhh) and an openly experimental vibe set apart from their previous work (more collaborative iirc, the four of them drawing on stuff they were inspired by to try new things). Pair that outcast magnetism (impulse to show love to wounded birds and rejected things) with lyrics that speak to the liminal space I existed in with my own adolescent identity (lyrics speaking to madness in complex dependent relationships, to not knowing yourself, to wanting to know yourself, to wanting to know the world, to trying to figure out morals and love and worth amidst your missteps and lost sense of self and unspeakable depression), and I was sunk. Listened to some YouTube video rip of the full album (or playlists that also included pavlove and lullabye) to fall asleep at night, while showering, really whenever I had a chance in my downtime (since I didn’t have headphones and listened to more of the futct/ioh/sr&r hit singles when with friends). Something about Pete’s devastating lyrical angst and Patrick/Joe/Andy’s artistry and the heavy feelings surrounding the album (from the minor bits the fans/public know about the time and the stories weaved throughout the album) started hitting in a specific way that had me imprinting on Folie and the band like a baby bird. Yeah, I started having that feeling of being understood by music with other bands (MCR, Paramore, P!atD, classic emo trinity stuff) along with some of the more pop punk stuff I was already into (PtV, ATL, you know the era), but for whatever reason, Folie maintained its place as my heart and soul album (along with Soul Punk for PStump-related reasons, but we’re not talking about her right now 🏃🏻‍♀️)

We’d be here all night if I tried to list favorite songs or lyrics, but I can ramble a bit about what hit me most when I started going “oh yeah, this is my album” as a teen:

I mean like, of course, right? “What a Catch, Donnie” is the pinnacle ballad, from all the lyrical callbacks and cameo features to the somber/hopeful music video, plus the interviews out there noting the song as lyrically important to the band. I think you can find stuff from back in that era (‘08-‘09) talking about it as almost a “swan song,” a final message that’s as close as you’ll get to personal convictions in a less-autobiographical album. For me, it felt like a love letter to their past selves in the unstoppable march forward in time. It felt like grief, the kind that comes with change and it’s inevitable losses, but it also felt like hope. Imagine not seeing goodness within you, not recognizing yourself, feeling stranded and pushed by the tides and not sure where you’ll end up. Then, imagine finding a lifeline through hanging on to someone else with the same type of stormy muddled mind, finding them and becoming their looking glass, their mirror, their guide — helping someone apathetic and listless find a spark again after giving up on themselves. It makes you wonder if you’ll find clarity through connection too, if you’ll be saved over and over again by people who see you and make sense of it all, or maybe don’t make it all better/comprehensible but care for you anyway. It became an anthem for me to hang onto my friends and budding new interests to help make me feel whole and keep going at a time where everything felt overwhelming and impossibly complicated (the curse of being 15/16/etc). Something about learning about hiatus, learning about the peaks and valleys of the band, looking at it all while having the fortune of knowing they find their ways back to each other to create more music and memories and get to keep growing together — that was big for me in a way I couldn’t articulate at the time but still felt deeply. We can be lost, but still found; flawed, but still loved. That’s important to hear when you’re stumbling through those early formative years, and important to be reminded of when we stumble through evolving our identities again and again and again.

There’s a lot of nostalgic love for the album now that I’ve held onto it for a decade, but it’s still so fun to revisit and holds up for me amidst all of the new music I listen to now. SM(f)S wriggled it’s way into my heart this past year and sits in there holding onto Folie’s hand, speaking on heavy themes and channeling that same motivation to experiment and create a legacy through music. Getting to see FOB live this year (!!!) playing Folie songs live (!!!!!) and eventually revisiting the whole album throughout the duration of tourdust (!!!!!!!) was an amazing experience, and it’s great to see Folie get her flowers in the many years since her release. Happy 15 years, Folie!! 🩵🐻💙

#folie a deux #late night catherine lore time #hold on let me just talk your ear off real quick <3 #tldr: I just think she’s neat #unrelated side note: folie a bleu recolor is so pretty. like yeah the original deep reds are everything but BLUE!!!!#song stuff #I should probably have a FOB tag. since. y’know. I’m so casual chill normal about them #anyway #thanks for asking!#celesteeal

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sweetbottletops · 5 days

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A music leaning review of the series that Agu did a shout out to recently. Read here

Or check out horrible MTL behind the cut.

Manga “The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All” Review: A Modern and Nostalgic Story

The first volume was released on April 19, 2023, and the second volume was released on February 27, 2024. A manga by Sumiko Arai, ``The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All'' This work instantly became a hot topic when it was published on the author's X (Twitter), and when the book was released, it received the most notable manga awards and rankings in the Japanese manga world. This manga, which features real artists and songs, was reviewed by writer Shino Kokawa. It has also been announced that carefully selected songs from the playlist will be released on CD as a comic soundtrack on May 29, 2024, and on color vinyl on July 31. The official manga playlist is available here.

The Finest Youth Story

I was recommended by several acquaintances, saying, ``I think you'll definitely like it, so you should check it out,'' and I started reading it, and I was hooked, ``The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All.'' The manga, which went viral on author Sumiko Arai's social media and became a huge hit with over 400,000 copies sold after it was published as a book, has a number of great points, especially if you like Western rock music like the author. For those who spent their adolescence together, this work is truly emotional as it depicts their experiences and feelings one after another! That's one word. It's an exquisite coming-of-age story where you can project your past self and shake off the emo meter, and you can also reminisce about how you wish you had spent your high school days like this.

Aya, a high school girl, can't help but be curious about the "old guy" who works at a CD shop. However, when the true identity of the "brother" is actually Mitsuki, a classmate from high school, the story of the two's "love" begins to unfold. Aya, who is more of a gal, and Mitsuki, who is more of a down-to-earth character, have one thing in common: they love Western music, especially alternative rock. In this work, music plays a role in the relationship between the two, from Nirvana, where they met, to the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert they were planning to go to for the first time, to Radiohead, which Mitsuki sings to express her feelings to Aya. The main point is that it is used as an important tool to connect and deeply understand each other.

Aya and Mitsuki are modern-day high school students, but they seem to be particularly fond of 90s alternative music, and in the movie they mention Beck, Blur, Foo Fighters, Deftones, Guns N' Roses, etc. in their conversations and albums's jacket, which frequently appears on smartphone screens. The reason why they dig these artists may be due to the influence of Mitsuki's uncle (former band member), who works as a manager at a CD shop. From there to post-2000s artists like The Strokes, The Shins, Willow, and Turnstile, to more classic rock bands like Aerosmith and Black Sabbath, these girls freely traverse eras and find their favorites in the manner typical of the streaming generation. The two of them decided to share it.

Western Music Rock Listeners Who are a Minority in School and Society

By the way, the reason why overseas alternative rock has such a strong connection with Aya and Mitsuki is because there are very few friends around who can talk about Nirvana and Willow, and Western rock listeners have always been a minority in schools and society. There is no difference. I'm probably the same generation as Mitsuki's uncle, who was baptized as an alternative in the 1990s in my teens, and I've had exactly the same experiences as both of them.

Since I attended an all-girls school for middle school and high school, none of my classmates listened to US alternative or UK indie music, and after school, my daily routine was wandering around record shops in Shibuya by myself. As Aya monologues at the beginning of the film, saying, ``Music can only be listened to alone,'' I didn't feel particularly lonely, and like Aya, I was able to get along normally with friends from ``different genres'' at school. there was. Still, I had a lot of fun following bands that came to Japan with friends I met from outside of school at concerts, talking endlessly about albums over the phone, and going to events together, and we just liked the same music. There is no doubt that it was an irreplaceable experience for me to be able to understand others (and myself again), and to want to understand them even more.

Metaphor for Growth and Salvation

However, if you ask me, ``So, is ``The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All'' a coming-of-age story that only appeals to music and alternative fans? That's not the case at all. The music that connects Aya and Mitsuki is just a metaphor for growth and salvation for all teenagers who are in the midst of the vicissitudes of adolescence. This work repeatedly depicts things like ``not being able to match the rhythm of those around you'' and ``not being able to make friends if you're from a different genre,'' but the musical terms ``rhythm'' and ``genre'' are used here. However, it is a problem that everyone experiences at least once during their teenage years.

As I wrote earlier, "The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All'' is a story that allows you to project your past self and immerse yourself in a nostalgic mood as a 90's alternative real timer. At the same time, I feel that this work is an extremely modern story that could not have been born in our time. For example, Aya and Mitsuki's feelings of "interest" and "love" toward each other are portrayed in a very neutral manner. The two clumsy characters pass each other many times, but gender is hardly a consideration among the things they have to overcome. There is no doubt that they love each other and are important to each other, but the type of love is not specified, and the interpretation is left to the reader. In the first place, these women themselves probably do not define their feelings strictly.

What's also nice about this work is that both ``CD = physical'' and ``streaming'' are effectively used for music as a tool to mediate between two people. In the 1990s, when I was listening to alternative music in real time, physical music was the only option available. The main way I communicate with my friends is by lending and borrowing CDs and making original tapes to give them to them (although that was a lot of fun), and like Aya and Mitsuki, I immediately share songs that catch my attention with them. I feel so jealous of the immediacy of being able to exchange the songs I want to hear at any time with my smartphone. However, without the object of a CD, they would not have been able to meet or connect directly, and the reason why such old school communication is being put to good use is because ``The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All.'' This is why it is a modern and nostalgic story.

Exclusivity That Does Not Confine Itself Inside

And finally, one thing I especially like about the modernity of this work is that the relationship between the two, which deepens through alternative rock, becomes an exclusive one that is confined to just the two of them. The point is that it is not. Rock is a genre that sometimes strikes at naive sensibilities and excite the outlaw feelings of adolescence. Sometimes we want to indulge in the classic rebellion of ``Adults don't understand'' or create a structure of self versus society. You could even say that Nirvana and Radiohead in the '90s were music for outlaws who had no choice but to go through adolescence in the dark.

However, Aya and Mitsuki in the 2020s is not bound by that old-fashioned rock mentality. The music that flows between the two, who are searching for the ideal sense of distance in interpersonal relationships, actually helps them connect with others, expands their circle of friends, and creates a lively beat for those who don't "match the rhythm." It's refreshing to see it help people accept society.

The story has now changed from Aya and Mitsuki listening to their favorite music side by side, to Mitsuki discovering that she wants to make music, and Aya watching over and supporting her. There is a big difference between ``creating'' music and ``listening'' to it. The new relationship between the two is likely to continue to have its ups and downs, as there is a line in the movie that says, ``Even though we're supposed to be listening to the same song, it feels far away.'' Even so, I would like to watch over Aya and Mitsuki, who will be drawn together as fate would have it, along with the playlist of this story.

Written by 粉川しの

#the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all #arai sumiko #green manga #the guy she was interested in wasnt a guy at all #manga review

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ruby-red-inky-blue · 6 months

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A rundown of my TWTaS writing playlist because I cannot be stopped

this will no doubt be the longest post I've ever made about this fic so strap in:

general atmosphere/plot songs:

El Tango De Los Assassinos (yes, from Mr&Mrs Smith)

This was my mood setting for Jyn and Cassian in the early chapters, especially the rooftop scene in chapter 9.

Runaway by The National

This is a sad and gentle backdrop that I pictured being played in Baze's diner in the first half of the fic a lot.

The Boys of Summer (live) by The Hooters

This is here largely because I have been trash for this song since I was thirteen and it has a lot of Yearning in it. Let's say it could also be playing in the diner, that would make sense to me.

Starlight by Muse

this was maybe the first song I ever saw on a rebelcaptain edit (it was this one by @proinsiascassidy) and it has sparked my ongoing obsession with them and starlight - the word, the concept, stargazing, everything. Therefore, it had to be on here, even though I feel like it's an outlier musically.

St Jude by Florence + The Machine

This has EXACTLY the peaceful, suspenseful, sorrowful, hopeful vibes this ship needs especially in this setting, and it is addressed to "St Jude, the patron saint of the lost causes" so. yeah.

Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine

This is a big Depression song, and this fic is Depressed, so it works for both of them equally. The water/ocean theme and the chorus of "never let me go" feels much more Jyn than Cassian to me, but the Overt Christian Overtones make a lot of sense for Cassian and "the crushes of heaven for a sinner like me" is. come on.

Lithium Sunset by Sting

Listen this song is literally about antidepressants what do you want me to tell you.

Between Two Lungs

This is as triumphant and cheesy as the playlist gets, folks. They're in love! And they want to live, goddamnit!

Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2

Somehow several songs about the Irish Troubles ended up in this fic that is 100 percent not about that (although I picture Lyra's father as someone who was Involved in the Troubles, but this doesn't factor into the story enough to explain it and I think I came up with it because of the playlist).

Character and relationship themes:

Shallow by Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper

Look I wish I could roll my eyes at this song but unfortunately the lyrics are perfect for this fic in every way and I gotta respect that. The singers should be reversed for this fic but. Yeah sorry the lyrics are really good.

Bridge Over Troubled Water by Johnny Cash

To counteract the unhealthy vibes of most of the other songs on here, here's a sweet, peaceful song about selfless devotion and helping and comforting each other, because that is also a part of how I see this ship. It's also another song I definitely think was playing at the diner. Actually I think I actively hinted at it once. (Edit: I sure did! Chapter 26)

The Only Hope For Me Is You by My Chemical Romance

Listen. Desert vibes. Starts with echoes of "remember me". It's comparatively aggressive and very heavy on the war metaphors (that may not be metaphors). It's kind of perfect.

Summertime by My Chemical Romance

from the same album, same vibes. Very apocalyptic but in a hopeful way? They're throwing bricks and promising to run away together. This is a no-brainer.

Song for Someone by U2

This may be THE rebelcaptain song. It's devastating and so full of baggage but it's so tender and so hopeful and I will champion this song as their anthem until I die.

Work Song by Hozier

Is this a song about deep, deeply unhealthy, heartfelt devotion? Does it contain the Classically Rebelcaptain lines "When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth/ no grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her"? I rest my case.

I'm Not the One by 3OH!3

This works so so well for both Jyn and Cassian, it's like a conversation between their younger selves, and also I really drew on this for all those moments where they see themselves and their screwed-up childhoods in each other.

Man in Black by Johnny Cash

This is Draven. Straight up in my head Draven is always wearing black and this song is why.

Firefly Theme by Sonny Rhodes

This is clearly Bodhi, and it's perfect.

Brothers In Arms by Dire Straights

This plays in Bodhi's backstory for me. Because it's a War Trauma song I guess, but also because it has this heavy, heavy sense of loss of friends, of innocence, of self. It's so heartbreaking, and it's so gentle and quiet and deceptively peaceful.

Solsbury Hill (live) by Peter Gabriel

Culturally this makes NO sense but this is my go-to-Chirrut song. It's spiritual and uplifting and it is just so deeply comforting to me.

Fields of Gold by Sting

So this makes even less sense both culturally and lyrics-wise, but it feels like Baze to me. I cannot explain this.

River Lea by Adele

I could quote this entire thing this is TWTaS Jyn in a nutshell

Raised By Wolves by U2

This is a very Jyn song to me. It is bleak but it's defiant and I think it makes a lot of sense as her starting point.

21 Guns by Green Day

God I love this song. It's perfect for them in every way my god. This fandom should be full of Green Day songs. This song works so well for Cassian especially early on in the fic, and I think it really gets the vibe so right.

Golden by Fall Out Boy

This is so so Cassian and his horrible self-esteem and his self-imposed isolation for the sake of others.

You Found Me by The Fray

Since this is, once again, Overtly Complicatedly Religious, it feels very Cassian. This song is so so bitter and I feel like that makes a lot of sense for Cassian re: faith and life and everything.

The Unforgiven by Metallica

This is the Very Bleak Backdrop for young Cassian's disillusionment arc/downward spiral, so like mid-teens to his undercover op. It also works for Draven, which is neat and very sad.

All Eyes On Me by Bo Burnham (yes)

This song is so bleak and so trance-like in the absolute worst most viscerally depression-like way. This is a song for someone who is SO close to just giving up, with the faintest of cries for help left ("hands down, pray for me"). This is for Cassian at nineteen or twenty, alone and spiralling and vaguely dissociating. It's bad and this song is so good and so upsetting to me.

Zombie by The Cranberries

More Troubles music. A very good song, deeply heartbreaking.

Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day

This song straight up is why everything bad that ever happened to Cassian happened in September. There is no way to convince me this song is not perfect for this character in every way.

Any Other World by MIKA

Welcome to more bitterness and self-effacing nonsense, because again, I can't be stopped.

Der Weg by Herbert Grönemeyer

The last third of this song makes SOB. It's a song all about the horrible grief that comes with losing someone way too soon, and about learning to live with it. It's so fucking sad on its own merit, and it does work scarily well for Cassian and the memories of his family. Hell, you can split those lines up for each of them perfectly, and it ends with one of the saddest loveliest lines in the world, this song is A Lot: "Habe dich sicher in meiner Seele/ Ich trag' dich bei mir bis der Vorhang fällt" (I keep you safely within my soul/ I'll carry you with me until the courtain falls)

What A Catch, Donnie by Fall Out Boy

This is for Cassian ("I got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match", "they say the captain goes down with the ship/so when the world ends, will god go down with it?" and all that), but mostly for Cassian and his father, for these lines: "I will never end up like him/ behind my back I already am"

Leningrad by Billy Joel

This makes absolutely zero sense for this fic and emphatically should not be on here but the first stanza is giving me inexplicable Cassian-and-his-dad vibes.

24 Frames by Jason Isbell

Due to the lyrics, this is obv very much Cassian and his mother and brother, but really his whole family. Also a whole lot of bitterness against God, see above. (It's also a holdover from the glorious Cassian playlist that Disney has since retconned so there's that)

It's Time by Imagine Dragons

I don't know how I landed on this but it actually works So Well for baby Cassian who is already disillusioned but also still very very naive about how much change and revenge he can affect. And it illustrates the rift between him and Gael so nicely. It catches the whole unhealthy song and dance of "you might change and you should get out of here but I never will and so I have to stay and let this place kill me". I feel insane for reading this sentiment into this song but I truly think it's there?

Stay by Hurts

This song is super fucking cheesy and very on the nose but it's here for a single line that fucking breaks me re: Cassian and Gael every time: "And I wonder if you know/ how it feels to let you go"

Hurt by Johnny Cash

I'm making this whole list partially so I get to scream about how much real estate this undefined relationship has taken up in my head, and yes, that includes Hurt playing on a loop whenever I think about them. This is fully Cassian anywhere between becoming a cop and meeting Jyn (and starting therapy lol) to Gael, I mean, it has it all. It's A Lot, but it's so on brand.

How to Save a Life by The Fray

Yes, it's The Song From Every TV Drama! Once again, is it overplayed and cheesy by proxy? Kinda! Is it perfect for this fic? Yes! This is Gael for most of his adult life re: Cassian, probably. Like, the man did what he could and he got out when he had to but knowing the person that once meant most to you in the world is killing themselves by a thousand cuts somewhere and does not want you to save them is just about the worst feeling I can imagine and this song is as close as I got to that.

Objects In The Rearview Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are by Meat Loaf

Again, very very specific and pretty on the nose, but the first stanzas of this song are so very accurate to what I had in my head that I feel I couldn't write Gael grieving for Cassian much better. With the flashback to little boys getting into hijinks and running around and such hope for the future and then "I can still recall the sting of all, the tears when he was gone/ they said he crashed and burned/ I know I'll never learn/ why any boy should die so young"?? and also "There are times I think I see him peeling out of the dark/ I think he's right behind me now and he's gaining ground" GOD.

Whatsername by Green Day

I needed to know what Gael's headspace was so I could write him in not-a-flashback-time and it's. It's Whatsername. It's all stages of grief and it's a bit of a breakup song and also the first lines feel so real to me, anything that mentions thinking you saw someone you know but then it wasn't them is giving me OC feels now, as seen above. And Whatsername has the absolute perfect balance between "this killed me but I've put it behind me" and "this person will haunt me until the day I die". I love this song.

Not on the playlist but there in spirit:

Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA

Because this OC lives rent-free in my head, I have a song for him and his oldest daughter that makes me cry. I'm assuming this is normal.

Not in Nottingham by Mumford & Sons

This would 100 000 % be on here if it were on Spotify. To my continued horror, it isn't. It would round out this collection of sad, hopeless songs nicely and it is also near and dear to my heart due to being from maybe The most formative movie of my childhood.

The Scientist by Coldplay

This is the be-all-end-all Galen and Jyn song and I will never budge from this. It doesn't really factor into this fic but again, it's here in spirit.

#i don't know who i'm making this post for but maybe it will interest someone?#the world through a scope #music

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