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#it would be exhausting
cat-in-a-mech-suit · 1 month
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Being forcefully raised as a woman is not any less traumatic and emotionally repressive as being forcefully raised as a man. Femininity is not inherently pure and safe. Coercing someone to perform femininity is not any less toxic than coerced masculinity. Being dysphoric around femininity or having trauma from women doesn’t make you a misogynist.
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kentucky-daisey · 7 months
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Dear lady i angered in the line at the grocery store:
Me asking for a little space had nothing to do with your disability (was entirely unaware you had one until you brought it up) and everything to do with the fact that you were standing so close to me i could feel your breath on the back of my neck.
#i miss social distancing#as someone with a strong need for personal space#it was the only time i could do anything about it without risking someone getting unreasonably angry with me#i both apologized and said please in asking her for some space#and this was only after i'd tried subtly moving forward three four times#only for her to close the distance the instant i moved#also why would you want to stand that close to an absolute stranger?#i feel bad but at the same time she was inches from my face when i turned around and i shouldn't feel bad asking for what i need#especially when it's something as small as a little space in line at a very busy grocery store#this is why i usually go in the evenings or on the weekends#but i ran out of vegetables and had no other choice but to buy some#also what did her disability have anything to do with her standing so close to me?#no clue what it was either#not that i need to know#if i was more of a dick i could have easily brought up my own anxiety and sensitivity to things like sounds and physical sensations#i'm sure she's had her own bad experiences#but if a stranger makes a completely reasonable request you shouldn't always assume it's a personal slight#how awful must your life be if that's the way you think?#it would be exhausting#i literally couldn't care less as to who you are#i will likely never see you again#i do care that i can smell the cigarette smoke on your breath#and that you were close enough that i bumped you with my elbow when i reached for my wallet in my pocket#also i don't think the guy in front of me appreciated me shifting closer to him each time i tried getting away from her#i'm sure there were other people in line who judged me#but my god was it getting uncomfortable
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sensitiveheartless · 2 months
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One Summer Day
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weird hearing "were you a Theatre Kid" "were you a Sports Kid" "were you a Choir Kid" "were you a Dance Kid" bc no? i mean i did all of that and more but resented ever minute of it? actively avoided sticking with anything? i was a "In This Family After School Activities Are Mandatory Kid"
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ky-landfill · 4 months
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just breathe.
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inkskinned · 1 year
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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birbwell · 7 months
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HEAVY TF2 TUMMY ‼️‼️‼️
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reads this ask and blacks out
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cangrellesteponme · 6 months
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wife
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brujahinaskirt · 6 months
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arthur is rude to that one sex worker because the guys are fucking around as they oughtn't be and he actively wants the source of their distraction to go away. that is how he operates through the entire game: deliberate, utilitarian intimidation and strategic unpleasantness to achieve a goal. it is an early game commentary on arthur meant to position him as a big dog that barks. it is not a commentary on his views about women which are clarified many times afterward. you guys realize that right
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fighting-naturalist · 2 months
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slinging daniel jackson around like a sack of potatoes: a team tradition!
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gazspookiebear · 6 months
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Ugh I'm so sleepy. Eepy man. Enjoy this shit I cooked up in ten minutes.
You wake up, only to find yourself just as tired as you were a few hours ago. Your eyelids are heavy, and you're fighting back sleep with every blink. Exhaustion wracking your body with every movement.
You feel Simon groan and sit up next to you.
"Mmm... five more minutes?" You mumble sleepily, shivering at the sudden lack of warmth.
"'M sorry love, we've gotta get up"
"Please? I'm so tired..." You whine quietly
"Negative," he says, chuckling at your miserable pout.
"Please, Si?" You say it so sweetly. The nickname you rarely used. His weakness.
A moment passes before you finally hear a response.
"Fine."
You grin, knowing that you've won. He lays back down and wraps his arm around you, pulling your back to his chest. You close your eyes and sleep quickly overtakes you.
Of course, it was never just 'five more minutes'. Simon called your work shortly after and informed them that you wouldn't be coming in today. However that works.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 months
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Good Morning, World.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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jasperyourmutt · 9 days
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Get me real drunk under the pretense you’re going to use my body in nefarious ways only to give me head scritches until I pass out and get a full nights sleep
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tapakah0 · 4 days
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napping-sapphic · 1 year
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*gives you a gay little kiss that feels like home*
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greyskyflowers · 2 months
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I like the idea that, I've seen mentioned a few times and love it, the boys turn into those little orb things when they're like completely, if they were human they would have passed out, exhausted.
I imagine a soft glow, warm to hold, about the size of an orange, a little weight to it and it doesn't float but drops to the floor and rolls like a ball ~
⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️
It really isn't surprising after everything with hell, Esther, and Niko, that Edwin shifts.
He looks exhausted, and Charles still sees him terrifed and bloody in Hell when he closes his eyes, swaying a little bit where he stands listening to Crystal, and Charles knows what's going to happen before it happens.
The softly glowing orb doesn't even have a chance to drop before Charles snatches it, carefully tucking it away in his coat. It's a warm, little weight against his side.
He loves Crystal, Edwin does too even though he huffs about it, but she doesn't need to see Edwin like this. No one needs to see Edwin like this. The thought of it feels like calling attention to an open wound, advertising a vulnerable spot for someone to exploit or further hurt.
Thankfully, they're all finally free to go home. He doesn't like the idea of leaving Crystal but there's a growing itch to get back home and she shoves him towards the mirror and tells him she's meet up with them later.
Neither Charles or Edwin like being out when one of them is like this.
The first few time it happened, Charles hadn't really thought about it too much. And it happened a lot those first years after his death. He often overdid it, everything going fuzzy before going dark, and then he'd wake up, usually pressed against Edwin's side on the little couch. He always woke up on or next to Edwin and it'd been startling the first few times but he always wakes up comfortable now, no rush to get up.
The first time Edwin shifted in front of Charles, he panicked. Refused to let go of him until, after what seemed like days, Edwin shifted back. Still relaxed enough that he hadn't immediately shoved himself off Charle's lap and he hadn't fought the hug too hard either.
He's only see Edwin like that a few times but to be on the other side of it, he understands why Edwin always relaxes when Charles shifts back. It's a powerful and terrifying feeling, to hold something so small and vulnerable and know it's the most important person in the world to you.
As he got to know Edwin more, Charles had the horrible realization that Edwin had been in Hell for over 70 years and surely he must have been exhausted plenty of times when down there. What happened to him when he shifted?
Charles didn't know what Hell looked like or what really happened down there but he pictured the little orb rolling around on the floor, being kicked, or someone finding other ways to hurt it. He had finally asked, so worked up he hadn't even thought about if Edwin would want to talk about, because he needed to know.
He'd gotten a gentle look from Edwin and an answer.
While he was absolutely exhausted in hell, he never shifted. Hell takes a lot of things away and the relief of sleep or unconsciousness is one of them.
So, honestly, Edwin had lasted longer than Charles thought he would. He half expected that he'd have to lunge for the orb as soon as they fell back through the door from Hell.
Thinking too much about Hell and Esther makes him a nasty mix of furious and terrified, so he forces himself to focus on the present.
He holds Edwin closer his chest as he sinks onto the couch. He's emotionally exhausted and in the silence of everything, finally has a moment to think about the love confession on the stairs of hell.
He doesn't know what to do with that liar but he was right when he told Edwin they had forever to figure it out.
He lays out on the couch, feet hanging off the far end and his head on the armrest, the orb on his chest and his hands almost petting at it. Holding it like this means that when Edwin shifts back he'll be sprawled over Charles, something that will probably have him flustered and immediately trying to get up and off.
Charles hopes he's sleepy and comfortable when he changes back though, that he just settles there without over thinking it.
Just the two of them existing together in the same space.
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