#it’s hard to write something you don’t experience or fully understand

[thattheater-kid]

Aroace culture is accidentally writing all your characters to be aspec because you have a hard time writing romantic and sexual relationships.

[cozage]

Zoro, Luffy, Sanji, Law, and Ace with a fem slave S/O with lots of scars, injuries, and more. She’s so sweet and quiet and great at cleaning and cooking and sewing and practically their future housewife on deck!

A/N: Thank you Anon :) You gave me something I didn’t know I needed. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Characters: F! reader x Zoro, Luffy, Sanji, Law, Ace

Cw: lots of PTSD, trauma response, angst, scars, injuries, etc. 

Total word count: 1.5k

A New Home

Zoro

He always announces his presence when he enters a room. There was one time he didn’t announce it when he came into a room and it scared you so bad you started crying. Never again.

He likes to just sit in the silence with you while you work. Sometimes he watches you, but most of the time he naps. He loves that you don’t mind the quiet space, that he can come to you for a moment of solitude. 

He never asks you to fix his torn shirts. He doesn’t feel right asking you to, but when he finds them sewn back together perfectly and folded neatly in his drawer, he gives you a soft kiss as a silent “thank you”.

He is FIERCELY protective over you both in social settings and in battle. He is always yelling at Luffy for being too loud or scaring you, he pulls out a sword against anyone who tries to make advances on you in public, and god forgive anyone who even thinks about hurting you in battle. 

He gives the best massages. He has perfect control on pressure and knows exactly where to press to comfort your aching muscles. He loves to massage your shoulders, your hands, your feet. Afterwards he’ll lazily trace his fingers across your skin, sometimes tracing over scars, but he never asks about them. He knows you’ll tell him when you’re ready. 

Luffy

He works so so hard to get you out of your shell. He just wants you to try new things and have new experiences!! He wants you to live life to the fullest!! 

New adventure? New food? New friend?? He’s introducing you to it all. It’s a bit overwhelming at times, but you know he means well, so you try your best to embrace it. 

He used to ask you about your injuries and scars whenever he saw a new one, but he’s learned to stop for a multitude of reasons. Sometimes the memories are so bad you cry, and he holds you and rocks you to sleep. Sometimes you tell him the truth, and he gets so angry he needs to go punch something and scream at the sky. Sometimes you’re not sure how you got it, and you get lost in thought for hours trying to remember what memory you’ve forgotten. 

You are always cleaning up Luffy’s messes, helping Franky repair the worn sails, stitching up torn clothing from everyone. You have a way with fabric, and can make an old shirt brand new again. Luffy deems you the “Clothing Captain”, since you can get rid of any stain, mend any cloth, and create the best outfits from scratch.  

He watches you really closely to make sure you aren’t working too hard. Sometimes you just get so caught up in getting as many tasks done as efficiently as possible that the whole day passes and you haven’t sat down once. Luffy keeps an eye on you and makes sure you are still having fun. The life on the Sunny isn’t supposed to be hard work, it’s supposed to be a fun family where everyone chips in with what they’re best at and what they enjoy. He knows you’re still working to understand that fully, and he works to support you the best way he can. 

Sanji

The first time you ate his food, you cried. You had never had anything better in your life, and you praised his cooking ability for days. It was the most you had spoken since joining the crew, and it was all for him. Sanji instantly fell for you, of course. 

He cooks constantly for you. He’ll spend hours over the stove trying to get the recipe just right. You never citicize his cooking (because it’s always the best thing you’ve ever had), so he learns your body language instead. He learns your favorite ingredients, and watches your reactions to his cooking closely to figure out how to perfect it just for you.

He talks your ear off, which you love. He knows you're not much of a talker, and he makes up for the empty space. Neither of you ever mind, you love hearing about his life, about their time on the sea. You asked him once where he first fell in love with cooking, and he got quiet for a long time. “My mother.” He finally said, and you knew that was all he would say on the matter. You realized that he had a past he didn’t like to talk about as well, and you didn’t push him to say anymore. 

He's extremely defensive of you, and keeps you away from prying eyes and questions. Luffy asks something insensitive? “Mind your own business, Luffy!” Zoro says something boneheaded? “I’ll kill you for that Mosshead!” Anytime you’re feeling awkward or uncomfortable, Sanji is there to step in and tell people to back off. 

He picks up on your PTSD warning signs super fast. He watches for the nervous flicks of your eyes, trembling fingers, twitching hands. As soon as he sees a sign, he’s there in an instant. He asks you what you need, refocuses you in the moment, makes sure you know you’re safe. He holds you and lets you cry and scream into his shirt. No matter what you do or what you need, he’s there for you. 

Law

The first time he sees all of your scars, he’s enraged. He clenches his fists and grits his teeth and does the best he can to help you with your current ailment without showing outward anger, but you can feel his rage. It scares you, and when he realizes his emotions are upsetting you, he works to keep them in check in the future. 

He studies up on all the medicinal herbs to heal aches and pains, and tries to find ways he might be able to help heal any injuries or long-lasting pain with his Ope-Ope fruit. 

He watches closely to see how you navigate being on a ship with new people. Some big milestones he notices:

The first time you speak without being asked a direct question

The first time you offer to mend Bepo’s outfit that’s been torn

The first time you fall asleep without crying

The first time someone touches you and you don’t flinch

The first time you laugh

The first time you initiate a kiss with him

There’s many more, but those are his favorites 

He gives you weekly checkups to make sure you’re not overworking yourself and ensure your health isn’t deteriorating 

He loves to kiss each one of your scars, starting at your fingers, moving up your arms and then down your back. He knows he can’t take away the pain, but he can try to mix in a few good memories with them as well. 

Ace

He knows that you question your worth a lot, so he gives you constant reassurance. “You’re doing amazing” and “I’m so proud of you” are some of his favorite things to say to you. They’re your favorite things to hear, too.  

At first, he wants to include you in everything. He wants to show you off. He wants the entire crew to get to know you and realize how great you are. But the big party scenes are overwhelming, and you get a panic attack at one. He quickly realizes that while his intentions were good, he misread the situation, and he apologizes profusely. After that instance, he prefers watching the stars with you in the crows nest as opposed to the party scene below. 

Occasionally he’ll still join the party and ask if you want to join, but he never pressures you to go. Every now and then you’ll go with him, and he keeps you close to him the whole night. When you’re ready to go, he always leaves with you, and makes sure you have time to process the event and decompress before you go to sleep so you don’t wake up anxious the next day. 

He gives you the equivalent of a hot stone massage with his devil fruit powers most nights, trying to coax your muscles into relaxing before bed. He tries his best to ignore your scars and your tattoo as he massages your back. He brings up the idea of you getting the sun pirate tattoo, but at the thought of the pain you begin to shake, and he doesn’t bring it up again. He talks to Marco secretly about the extent of the phoenix fruit abilities, but unfortunately the doctor can’t be of much help in healing the old wounds or the mental ones. 

You love Ace’s friends quietly. You make them snacks, and bring them drinks on hot days. You mend their clothes after battle, and help tend to their wounds when Marco is busy. You don’t always speak, but when you do, Ace’s friends brag about it for days. It’s an honor to be spoken to by you, and Ace loves that his friends love you too. 

[theastrical]

their reaction when you’re sick.

genshin men reaction when you’re sick.

kaeya/diluc/childe x reader

note: hmmm i don’t know what i write

Kaeya’s reaction when you’re sick.

“hey what’s wrong? you barely talk or even move, anything you wanna share? moodswings?..”, his voice soft, mellow, something you can listen throughout even when you’re asleep.

kaeya is the type of person to be worried in the inside, he can keep his calm which is a good thing, but it kept you wonderingr, “does this man actually love me or is he good at hiding it?”. So when you’re sick, he keep his calm. He buys you medicines and leave for work. Although he seemingly left work early just to take care of you.

He would feed you meals, very slowly just incase you can’t keep up with your usual pace. Silently would observe your behaviour from afar, making sure you’re not consuming anything that would make you much more sick. He would hide your snacks and instant noodles, your sodas or bubble tea. He would also limit your social media screen time by going through your phone, cause you always play with your socials instead of resting. Anything possibly distracting your resting hours is a NO for this man, kaeya only wants you to rest, rest and rest.

The medicines he bought are various, either a herbal tradition medicine he bought from a liyue merchant, a modern capsule of paracetamol, or his hand-made herbal medicines. He made it so bitter that you could easily puke and he would feed the whole thing onto your throat so choking is an understandable respond. somehow his medicine works on you 10 times better than the others though. “My hands are definitely meant for this line of work, also for your recovery..hehe..”

Diluc’s reaction when you’re sick.

“you’re sick again..?”, a silent murmur he made when he saw how weak you are currently.

immediately knows when you’re sick, since he could remember any symptoms that you’ve occurred before. This is something he must remember (he thinks), since he doesn’t want to repeat another same-page of history. So when you’re sick, he didn’t panic, instead, he would let the professionals do the work instead of him, avoiding the worst possibility when he’s the one in charge.

would checked up on you every hour by touching your forehead, caressing your hands, or holding onto your hands. His touch is delicate, like a soft cloud scheming through your skin, not with his leather gloves, just the simple touch of his hands. It makes it hard to resist since diluc’s caresses are addictive, and at some point, you would find yourself waking up in the middle of the night just to search for his touch. “i’m right here…you’re cold..?”, then he would cuddle you, stroking your hair, and kisses your forehead.

when you recover, he would take you out to a fancy dinner, treating you for being good while having to endure bitter medicines or food you don’t even like just to survive another day. He spoils you with gifts and foods that you can’t eat when you’re still sick, it cost thousands of moras but it’s all worth it, at least for the sake to keep his beloved happy.

Childe’s reaction when you’re sick

“you’re not okay, let me help you.”, he would kissed your cheeks afterwards, to let you know that he’s here for you.

He can recognise your sickness just by seeing your pale demeanour and stiff body which is to him, is very visible (you don’t even remember how you usually look like before so he’s insane for that). he would checked it once more by touching your forehead or observing your body response overall, if his observation list are all check-listed then you are indeed sick. He turns into a full time caregiver, he has many job experiences, therefore entrusting yourself to this man is a good choice. In his mind, his number one priority is you, hence he would abandon his duty to take care of you until you fully recover.

He would cook a meal that can compete over 5 stars restaurant. It’s so tasty it’s insane that he made it with his own hands. The food is undeniably healthy, it’s only made with organic ingredients that he picked up from the local farmers, no preservative or artificial ingredients, all made with love using his own groceries. The food doesn’t taste bland, in fact it’s very flavourful, the food itself is already a medicine for his beloved since it consist herbs to strengthen the immune system. He would feed you, wipe your mouth, even help you drink the juice he made to make the recovery process bearable.

The medicines he picked are those that are meant for children but can be consumed for adults too, not capsules, but syrups. So you won’t be able to resist consuming since it doesn’t taste bitter. At some point he would bought the chinese herbs that are strong at taste..but he made the chinese herbs into food instead so it wouldn’t burden your tongue. The recovery speed is steady and fast, his way of making you heal is effectively acclaimed by his brothers and sisters. After every medicine or food you eat, he would kiss your hand and carry you to bed again, covering you with a blanket and help you sleep. Singing a lullaby for you and makes sure that his company helps your heart relaxes.

“rest well, i’m here.”

taglist: @dailypenpen , @daydreaming-paradies

[daddyy333]

Sensitive | Lo’ak x fem!omaticaya!reader

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

word count: 2.9k

warnings: readers very insecure and shy, reader was technically bullied as a kid, ?

summary: Y/n was always told she was overdramatic and sensitive growing up, so she kept quiet and didn’t tell anyone when something bothered her. Now, watching her mate potentially fall in love with another woman, she’s too worried about overreacting and refuses to say anything until eventually she can’t handle it anymore.

anything in bold like this in the middle of a sentence means it’s either Na’vi or meant to be in Na’vi but I don’t trust the translation websites so I just use the few words I know and make do with it💀

“It’s just a joke”

“You’re too sensitive”

“It doesn’t even matter”

“Why do you care so much?”

“You’re overreacting”

Your whole life, you’ve always been sensitive. It wasn’t hard to bring you down or upset you. You were always overthinking every little thing, analyzing every word a person said and the way they said it. You wished you were different, every single day you tried to stop caring so much but you couldn’t help it.

By the time you turned 18, you were quieter than a mouse. You only talked around your few friends, and even then you didn’t say too much in fear of seeming too sensitive. When something bothered you, you just stayed quiet and kept it to yourself.

Lo’ak thought you were just shy. You were really quiet all the time, but he was so attracted to you; he just had to get to know you. You really loved Lo’ak, more than anything on Pandora. He was so nice to you, and you trusted him and opened up to him a little, and he still accepted you fully.

You didn’t tell him everything though, you didn’t want to ruin something so good. You’d be heartbroken if Lo’ak left you so you made sure you were careful with what you said and how you reacted.

You mated before Eywa and it was a beautiful experience. You both took your time learning each other's bodies and making each other feel good. You were close to opening up all the way after that night, but you were still worried he wouldn’t accept you and all your flaws.

2 years later, you had to leave the forest and it terrfied you. You couldn’t help it then, you burst into tears and cried through it all. The forest was your home. This was where you felt safest. This was where you fell in love, where you were meant to be.

Lo’ak seemed to understand your worries though, and you were thankful. He held you as you cried, wiping your tears and helping you say goodbye to everyone. He felt bad when he could see tears flowing down your face as you rode your ikrans out of the forest.

You made it the Metkayina’s territory and naturally they got defensive and began to try and intimidate you, and the worst part was that it worked. Lo’ak could feel you shaking and he felt bad, wrapping his tail around your thigh and trying to comfort you as best he could.

You noticed Lo’ak look over at a young woman, but he quickly returned his attention to Olo’eyktan and Tsahík again. You looked over at her, ears turned down as you realized how much prettier she was than you.

You tried to ignore it, but when she was one of the Na’vi meant to tutor you guys, it made it hard to forget about it. You were worried Lo’ak would fall for her instead. She was very very pretty, and her voice was smooth and melodic, with the most gorgeous eyes ever too.

Lo’ak was attached to you at the hip the first few weeks. It helped reassure you that he was yours, always. He would always have an around wrapped around you or his fingers intertwined with yours, or at the very least have his tail caressing your back or wrapped around your leg or arms.

But he slowly started getting closer to Tsireya. He’d go sit next to her during lessons and you always sat next to him so you’d follow, and over time you could see the two of them giggling together whenever you took breaks, and she was so touchy in ways she wasn’t with everyone else. At least that’s how it seemed.

You were honestly a little heartbroken, you really hoped he wasn’t like that. You don’t know what you’d do if he asked for a second wife. It’d kill you. The worst part, she’s been trying to be friends with you.

You don’t want to be mean, so you indulge in whatever it is she wants. You’re actually quite close, you tell her lots of things and she actually helps you learn the way of the Metkayina quite a lot. It seems like she tries to talk about Lo’ak a lot, which sucks because it only convinces you more and more that they’re going to get involved any day now.

Lo’ak seems a little distant as time goes on. He’s not making love to you a lot, leaving you lying awake in the late hours of the night trying to ignore your arousal, even with your mate right next to you. He only really makes love to you when your in heat or when he is in rut, but it’s always rough and not as sweet because it’s the only way to relieve the pain.

He also sits with Tsireya a lot at dinner. Or he’ll tell her to come sit with you guys. You come close to snapping and telling him just how much it’s bothering you countless times but you don’t want to risk being seen as dramatic.

You find out you’re pregnant and initially you were overjoyed, excited to become a mother and forever grateful to Eywa for this gift. But then your heart sinks. How would Lo’ak react? You were worried about everything now. Would he still love you after all the changes your body was about to go through? Would he be even more distant?

When you told him he nearly screamed, picking you up and jumping around out of pure excitement. He threw you over his shoulder, making you scream as he ran out to the main gathering place for the clan and said “I’m going to be a father!”

The surrounding people laughed and congratulated you guys, and when his family came out, he ran to them and said “you’re going to be grandparents!” And instantly had Neytiri sobbing. He finally put you down and you groaned, nauseous from all the movement.

You were less worried realizing how excited he was, and it seemed like things got better after that. He was always taking you on dates, rubbing your bump and talking to the baby constantly, helping you through your morning sickness when he could, and he was always hunting and bringing you your favorite foods to keep you strong and healthy.

You concluded that maybe he was a bit distant the last few months, but you’d be okay now that you were about to become parents and he was so present now. Obviously he still spent time with Tsireya, which you didn’t mind, but every now and then you had your doubts.

He took you on a date night, preparing a sweet dish for you since all you wanted to eat were sweet things and took you swimming with Payakan, telling him how the baby was kicking now and showing off your bump. You rolled your eyes playfully at Lo’ak, he was convinced that your bump got bigger every single day.

Payakan let you guys rest on his back and watch the stars until you got tired and fell asleep cuddled in Lo’ak’s arms. He smiled softly, pressing a kiss to your cheek. He fell asleep not that long after, keeping his hand on your bump to hopefully soothe your very active baby and keep it from kicking you all night.

When he woke up, you were still sleeping peacefully, being spooned by him as you mumbled softly in your sleep. He smiled to himself, kissing your head and caressing your bump. He felt the little one move slightly and he couldn’t help it as he blushed a little.

He spent a few minutes with you before he got up and had payakan bring you closer to the island and told him to wake up at sunrise if he wasn’t already there. He got to the island and prepared all his things to hunt for your favorite things right now and spent about 2 hours hunting.

He came back with tons of food, enough to last you a few days and immediately woke up Tsireya to help him cook it the way you liked. He wanted to celebrate today, as it was your 3 year anniversary and you were already halfway through your pregnancy. He was so excited, he almost wanted to leave Tsireya to finish cooking so he could go spend time with you.

You woke up to Payakan moving wildly and you quickly walked over to where he could see you to calm him down. The sun was halfway up, and you realized Lo’ak wasn’t with you anymore. You frowned slightly and noticed Payakan bringing you close to the island so you assumed Lo’ak was already there.

You greeted Jake and Neytiri as you happened to walk past them on the way to your marui pod and of course had to let Tuk talk to the baby for a few minutes and let them feel the little one kick. Tuk was so so so excited for the baby to come, she was asking almost every day if the baby would be here soon.

You eventually continued your journey to your home and when you got closer you heard some laughter and giggling. You recognized Lo’aks laugh but there was someone else’s. You listened for a few more seconds and realized it was Tsireya.

Every insecurity came flooding back and tears filled your eyes. Was this his plan the whole time? To have you sleeping quite literally across the ocean so he could spend time with her in your home.

You opened the flap and she was next to him, holding his hands trying to show him how to grind up these herbs properly. You scoffed and said “Lo’ak…” He immediately looked up and his eyes widened.

He smiled and said “hi, baby! How are you feeling?” “W-Why is she here?” You asked quietly, tears in your eyes. He furrowed his eyebrows and said “she’s just helping me make you breakfast. I’m making all your favorites today, and she’s a better cook than I am so I needed her to help me”

You bit your lip and shook your head, you didn’t buy it. No way she was just here to cook and that was it. You turned around and left, going to the spot you and Lo’ak always go to to spend time together alone and uninterrupted.

Tsireya looked up and said “is everything okay?” “I- I-I don’t know. Do you think I should follow her?” He asked and Tsireya thought for a moment, nodding. He quickly thanked her and went out looking for you.

It took him a while to figure out where you’d gone, but once he did he was running as fast as he could. He got to your secret spot and found you crying, leaning against the rock you two always sat by.

“Baby…y/n, hey hey what’s wrong?” He said and you sniffled. You wiped your tears quickly and said “nothing. I’m fine, I’m just overreacting, it's nothing” “no, no honey. Hey, look at me. Talk to me,” he said and you looked up at him, eyes wet and nose tinted pink from crying.

“I just…y-you’ve gotten really close to Tsireya lately and I…I’m worried that- t- t-that uhm…” you said and stopped yourself shaking your head. He sighed and said “you’re worried I’m unfaithful?” You let out a small sob and said “I-it’s not that I don’t trust you- I-I just I can’t help it sometimes. I know it’s stupid! Just go away”

“Why do you think I’m cheating?” He asked, wiping your tears. You let out a shaky breath and said “well y-…you guys are just always really close. You used to always w-want to sit with her at dinner, a-and sometimes you used to choose to be with her instead of me. E-Everytime Tsireya and I talk she wants to know about you and our relationship”

“It’s not what you think, my love. I…I asked Tsireya to get close to you so she could tell me how you were feeling about our relationship and know what to work on to keep you happy. I- I-I know you’re very quiet and shy and I know if I ask you directly you’ll tell me everything is fine so I needed someone else’s help” he said and you gasped slightly, burying your head in your hands.

He pulled you into his arms, stroking your back and letting you cry. “It’s okay, babe. I know you were just worried about our relationship, and you had every right to be. I can understand that it might’ve looked a certain way from the outside” he said and you shook your head.

“I-I was being sensitive and overdramatic like always” you whimpered and he sighed. He kissed your head and said “why do you talk so poorly of yourself, my love? I don’t think that about you, no one does” “That’s not true…” you said and he furrowed his eyebrows yet again.

He pulled you from his chest to look in your eyes and said “who tells you these things?” “I…when I was a child, I-I used to be made fun of a lot. Even m-my parents would make comments. Everyone a-around me felt that way. I just stay quiet now, s-so no one gets upset at me anymore” you said and he shook his head.

He kissed you softly and said “let me see…please?” He grabbed his kuru and you looked up at him nervously. You nodded and grabbed yours, connecting them. You took a deep, shaky breath and he kissed your forehead, caressing your hand with his thumb. You let him see everything, every memory you had of it all.

“Oh sweetheart,” he said, tears in his eyes. “You didn’t deserve that. Honey, you aren’t overreacting, you have real concerns and worries and I want you to tell me all of them. Don’t ever shy away from talking to me and telling me how you feel. We are about to become parents, don’t you think we shouldn’t keep secrets?”

You nodded and he smiled sadly, kissing you softly. “Why uhm…w-why…” you said quietly and stopped yourself. He could hear your thoughts through tsaheylu, you were wondering why Tsireya was there making breakfast with him.

He shook his head and said “because today's our 3 year anniversary and you're halfway through growing our little princess” You smiled and sniffled. You chuckled and hugged him.

He rubbed your back and said “you’ll never have to worry about me hurting you. I never will. If I did, I promise you it was never intentional and I’ll apologize every single day for the rest of my life” “you’re a really good husband, you know” you said, sniffling softly.

“I try,” he chuckled. He kissed you a few times, nuzzling his nose against yours. You smiled and said “oel ngati kameie, ma muntxatan” “oel ngati kameie” he said and nuzzled his nose against yours once more.

You giggled and said “you know, the baby is realllly hungry” “is she?” He asked and you rolled your eyes.

“We do not know if it is a girl yet,” you said and he chuckled. He rubbed your bump and said “I just know it is. She’s my little princess. And you’re my queen” “what's uhm…what’s a queen again?” You asked and he chuckled.

You still forgot human concepts here and there which he found adorable. “Like an Earth Tsahík. But way less cool” he said and you nodded, giggling. He stood up and he held his hand out to help you up.

He brought you back to your pod and Tsireya looked up and noticed your slightly reddened nose and cheeks and your still slightly teary eyes. “Oh…oh my, are you okay? Is it the baby? Is something wrong? We should get you to my mother” she said and you shook your head.

“I’m okay, Reya. The baby’s okay too. See?” You said and placed her hand on your stomach where they were kicking softly. You hugged her and she gasped a little, looking at Lo’ak as she hugged you back.

Lo’ak waved his hand dismissively and then gave a thumbs up. She rubbed your back and said “here, have some breakfast. I hope you like it” “mmm, you guys better get some while you can because it’s not gonna be here for long” you said and chuckled to yourself.

Lo’ak smiled at you as you made yourself a place and said “she was just worried that I was unfaithful because of how much time we spend together” They both giggled quietly to each other.

“I should’ve known,” she said and sighed. He shook his head and said “no, no its okay. As much as I wish she didn’t feel that way for so long, some good things came out of it” “like what?” Tsireya asked. Lo’ak bit his lip in thought and said “it’s kind of between us,”

“Ah, I see. Well, take good care of her and write out instructions for lunch and dinner for you while you eat” she said and patted his shoulder, quickly leaving the pod. He smiled to himself and wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing your neck.

You hummed and held a piece of fruit behind you for him to eat. “Come on, let’s eat on the shore” he said and you brought your plate out with you as he dragged you out of the pod, forcing you to sit in between his legs as you both watched the sun fully rise and relaxed together.

Taglist: @laylasbunbunny @goddesslilithmoriarty

As of now l'm writing for

Eddie Munson

Lo’ak

Neteyam

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and l'll add you :)

[ellabsweet]

[*ੈ✩] 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐘 • 𝐄.𝐖

synopsis: ellie writes in her journal religiously, a foolish attempt at reconciling with her feelings and understanding what it is that happens to her particularly when she is around you

pairing: ellie williams x reader

warning: written in ellie’s pov as the entire story is told through her journal entries, if this is well received it might be a multiple part series, loads of angst and borderline emotional cheating

I saw her again this week. Or better yet, she saw me, and I don’t think I have ever dropped someone’s hand so fast as when her eyes glanced down towards mine and Cat’s intertwined, in the end that only served a purpose to make them both upset. She pretended not to have noticed me after that and deep down I couldn’t blame her for it, though it’s been nearly a month since our last conversation a part of us both know that a friendship shouldn’t experience something that feels like a break up.

Guilt is the second worst feeling I’ve ever experienced and still it comes pretty damn close to grief. Sometimes kissing Cat I pretend that it’s her instead, eyes shut from all reality it’s almost like I can shift her taste into whatever I imagine hers to be instead and in the moment it feels too good for the guilt to settle in, it feels like home. Which is a shame, in the end, because this is about me not deserving that comfort. I remember Cat had to stop me, push me off her to catch her breath with a laugh and she looked me starry eyed to say she’s never felt me so into her before. The strawberry in my lips turned to poison so fast. She didn’t know. Didn’t even understand why my face fell at the comment, felt the need to tell me it was just a joke but we both knew it wasn’t.

Cat is easy. Easy in a way that borders boring which means it’s safe. Life is hard enough as it is for me to keep having these impulses towards devastating gut wrenching love, the kind of love inevitable with her. I told her once when we still liked to pretend we were friends that she was something of a tornado, like this force of nature so inevitable to everything else that sweeps up everything off the ground, and she was so offended. Like I’d said she was destructive. But she is. I haven’t given her the opportunity to abandon me and still it has broken my heart to glance at her across a room and not run straight to her arms, not be the one making her laugh. It’s been too long since I’ve heard the laugh I would bottle and save to get drunk on hard days and now can’t even treasure for good ones.

To be loved by her, though I guess it may be pretentious of me to assume she loved me, was finally coming up for air, was watching a meteor shower, is probably the closest I’ve ever gotten to the moon and understanding what it is to moon over someone, she personified my astronaut dreams and I am a stupid asshole who keeps dropping things on Earth because they’ve got new found gravity. I miss floating and I hate all the things I’ve crashed on the ground, sometimes I’m not sure who’s shattering the most without her. (I do. It’s me. I’m taking this metaphor too far.) But she would hate me if she knew. I thought I had lived long enough as myself so I could find her but not having died for the cure only means I never get to have her, not fully, not if she knew. And I wanted her to know me. More than I wanted her to just love me, which is terrifying. That’s why we can’t be.

[vhagarlovebot]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could write something for aegon along the lines of aemond and reader are married but bc aemond wants to give her space and “spare” her of his company and doesnt wanna scare her bc of his appearance and demeanor they dont talk at all and theyre like strangers, sort of like aemond thinks he’s doing the right thing by leaving her be but in reality she just wants to be loved by her husband and one day aegon finds her sobbing about aemond bc she just wants to be loved by him. Bc shes crying abt his “perfect” brother he feels better abt himself bc hes thinking “my brother isnt the perfect son” and so he decides to befriend her and they kind of bond over the fact that theyre both really lonely in kings landing. Ik this is probably rlly off for his character tbh so if you dont want to do it thats okay! Ik some ppl r really iffy abt writing abt aegon so if thats the case just ignore the ask im sorry to bother! But I love ur writing sm and hope u have a great day~

gwen’s note: i need to say this before writing your req because it is important to me. but i really think aegon, as well as many other characters from hotd, is very complex. however we can’t overlook the awful things he’s done, that’s why i think that the only way of writing him is by trying to understand from where it comes, why he is the way he is, etc. (but not defend him, never defend him for being a rapist) and diverge from his character. hotd writers made it really hard to sympathize with him given that the first scene they gave us of older aegon was THAT scene. and again, i would never defend aegon from what he did, that is inexcusable, it does not matter how much he suffered or how alone he feels, he should have never done that. that is why if i write aegon i would always try to get as close as possible to what i think of this complex character (just as i have been doing with aemond) and always have his feelings and experiences in mind, i will never minimize what he and everyone has been through. and bc in fanfic you can write whatever you want, i’ve been saying that since the beginning. aegon is not a good person but i believe that if they give him a chance, he would definitely try to be better. and i fully believe that aegon has a heart and deep down he cares, we see glimpses of that in the show. so after saying that, if i diverge from what the show has showed us about aegon or what YOU think about him, remember that everyone has their own opinions and if you don’t like them, be respectful and simply block me (this is not directed at you but to everyone in general). hope you enjoy! <3

crying in public was not a good idea, but being under the weirwood tree made you miss home.

“do you feel well?” a man’s voice startles you, and you are quick to wipe the tears still falling from your eyes, trying to pull yourself together before turning around.

you are surprised to see prince aegon standing a few feet away from you, genuine concern on his face.

you want very hard to say yes but you can’t say the words, so you just simply shake your head as more tears start falling from your eyes.

aegon doesn’t know what to do. he never knows what to do when someone cries in front of him, he’s not used to this kind of behavior. he can’t remember a time when someone from his family cried in front of him and he comforted them. or if they comforted him. because that never happened. so he doesn’t know if he should keep walking and leave you alone, or ask what’s happening. however, his legs are moving towards you before he can make a decision.

and you don’t know what to do. should you excuse yourself and run out of there? but your legs don’t move and your eyes can’t leave his face, lilac gaze studying your body, but not in a creepy and sexual way. it’s also the first time you and the prince are alone and you thought when that happened, you would feel uncomfortable, rumors fly fast inside and outside the red keep and prince aegon is the main protagonist in all of them. however you feel strangely calm.

“does this have to do with my brother?” aegon dares to ask. he knows your marriage is not an easy one, mostly because aemond is very cold towards you. he has seen you alone together just a couple of times and in all of them you’ve been looking sad and uncomfortable while his younger brother showed nothing with his expression.

it is sad to know prince aegon knows why you’re sad. does everyone in the red keep notice how unhappy you truly are?

aegon sits beside you, his hands on his lap as you move away making space for him on the little bench.

“i just feel so… alone.” you let your guard down, after all he is the one asking and you so desperately need someone to talk to, anyone, and if that person turns out to be the prince, then so be it.

aegon laughs bitterly, looking to his feet playing with a few leaves that had fallen from the tree. he knows that feeling too well, he has been feeling alone his whole life.

“and— and i can’t say anything to him because he doesn’t listen to me. it’s like i’m talking to a wall.” you sob, wiping your nose with the back of your hand.

prince aemond is your husband. but he’s also a total stranger too. you barely talk, he almost never looks at you and you haven’t consummate your marriage, something everyone is expecting for you to do. but how are you supposed to do it when he openly shows how much you bother him?

“i’m a burden to him!” you hide behind your palms, tears still falling from your eyes.

aegon feels a little better to know that his brother is stuck in a loveless marriage just like him. they might be very different but neither of them were able to escape from duty.

however, aegon feels something weird growing in his chest, something that doesn’t make him feel that much better. not while knowing that you’re hurting because of his brother.

aegon parts his lips, debating whether or not to say what he has not say to anyone. ever. because open up to someone is not something aegon targaryen has done before, he’s pretty good at hiding his feelings in a bottle of liquor. or a couple.

“i feel alone, too.” aegon looks for the right words but they don’t come to his mind and he feels very vulnerable. “i am a burden to everyone. my family. the servants. my own father doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

what the prince says is no surprise to you. you’ve heard the servants talking about the prince and how they wish to never be in the receiving end of one of his outbursts.

“see?” he says and you lift your gaze, turning to look at him, who is already looking with his lips curved in a small smile. “we have something in common! we’re not entirely alone.”

the kind gesture of prince aegon of trying to make you feel better is not something anyone would do, not in king’s landing at least, much less by saying something so personal. but it makes you smile through your tears.

it is strange, sitting on a bench with aegon targaryen, talking and being vulnerable. this definitely wasn’t on your list this morning when you woke up, but it is something you’re always going to remember.

“now,” aegon says, drawing out a handkerchief and holding it out to you. shyly, you accept it. “i am sure you miss home and i have nothing else to do… so why don’t you tell me everything i need to know about winterfell?”

your heart fills with pride and longing. and as you wipe your tears you start telling him about those cold and happy days of your childhood while prince aegon listens very closely.

[skwpr]

A simple representation of images does not offer enough for proper memorization.

Study Faster And Retain More With This Quick Tip

I don’t know a single student who doesn’t want to study faster and retain more at the same time. I usually get a little nervous when trying to use quick fixes to make this happen, but today I have an actual quick tip to help you do just this!

Being a problem solver by nature, I dug into the situation and tried a few new approaches. Some worked, and some did not.

One of my best strategies was to sort the information into two categories:

facts to be memorized

concepts to be understood

You can use this strategy for any course. No matter the subject, there are things you have to memorize (terminology, dates, names, equations, etc) and concepts you need to master. Identifying this creates a clear, drama-free path, meaning you actually study faster and retain more because you are working on the right information in the right way.

How To Memorize Facts

I used to hate memorization work. It seemed tedious and hard and I sucked at it. Or so I thought!

Turns out I just didn’t have good skills. now I have some strategies in my toolbox and I love fact work. It’s easy and you can master it quickly. The key to mastering memorization is to:

Keep a list of what you need to memorize.

Schedule time every day to work on it. You must have the daily repetition if you want new facts to stick in your short-term memory. Start with just 10-min each day and you will see results.

Vary your memorization strategies. If you use only one strategy it becomes less effective.

How To Master Concepts

How you approach concept mastery is going to vary a lot based on the subject you are studying. There are two strategies to help with every subject:

1. Hands-On Practice

You will never fully master a concept through reading about it. You learn the concept through reading, but there is a big difference between learning something and mastering it.

The basics of hands-on practice for any subject are to come up with an applicable problem and solve it. Then come up with another problem and solve it too. Here are a few ideas, by subject, of how you might practice:

literature – Read a book or short story and write an analysis of whatever focus you are working on.

computer science – Come up with a problem and solve it with real code.

graphic design – Imagine a client asked you to design something, and create 3 different solutions for them.

math – Pick an equation, make up some starting numbers, and solve it.

science – Define a hypothesis, create a simple experiment, get in the lab and execute it!

2. Explain Or Teach It To Someone Else

Want to be certain you have mastered and fully understand a concept? Teach it to someone else.

As a teacher myself, I can tell you there have been plenty of concepts I thought I knew really well until I tried explaining them to someone else. You need a thorough understanding yourself before you can help someone else understand it.

Enlist the help of a friend or family member and try to explain a major concept in a few minutes. If you struggle, make note of the sticky spots. They are exactly what you need to work on next.

If you have no problem explaining it and your friend understood everything, mark it off your list and move on to the next concept.

I hope this quick strategy helps you dig out of confusion and take the right action in order to study faster and retain more.

Try It Yourself: 20-Minute Challenge

Grab your notes, a fresh piece of paper, and a timer.

Set the timer for 15 minutes.

Go through your notes and sort every piece of information into one of the two categories: concept or fact Challenge yourself to do this before the timer goes off. Go with your first instinct if you aren’t sure.

Spend the next 5 minutes and map out your next steps.

How and when will you work on the memorization each day?

How will you approach the first concept?

[faerytreealtars]

༄🍃🌻✧˖°. “Wisdom from the elements” - Earth ༄🍃🌻✧˖°.

Hello again, Saplings! 🌱 A new PAC today that I hope you enjoy, take a deep breath, and choose whatever images resonate with your soul and heart, Happy reading! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚  

This reading is the first part of a series I am doing based on the four elements and the wisdom they can offer. First up is Earth, the element of Earth is Steady and Reliable but also heavily creative and abundant, I always feel such safe, comforting and feminine energy when connecting to the Earth so I hope that it can be the same for all of you!

Trust your intuition, don’t overthink it and if you’re still struggling, close your eyes take a deep breath and let yourself be guided to an image.

I would love to hear if the message you received resonated with you, so don’t feel afraid to comment, for it makes me so happy to connect with you all! 💕  

Song: Queendom - Aurora

Faery-Tale: Thumbelina - “It is the strength within your heart that determines your true character”

[ My Instagram ♡ / Personal Readings ♤ /  Faery Masterlist ☆  ]

Pile 1

[ Cards: The Fool, The Empress, The Emperor, Nine of Swords & Eight of Cups ]

Now is the time for walking away, what is gone can no longer serve you. To help you begin afresh we encourage you to begin bringing more stillness into your life - even if you don't enjoy meditation or not feeling busy it may benefit you to take some time in the day to be outside in the open air, be quiet and let the sunbeams warm and cleanse your skin. This can invigorate your spirit more than you can imagine. Focus on destressing your mind and physical body. Then with a clear mind, you will be on your way to being renewed!

Oracle: Offer

Our two friends have taken a moment to meet under the full moon. The soft glow lights up the forest. There is an ambiance of quiet that allows our Gentle Creature to be fully engaged in accepting the gift his young friend has offered. It may be a handful of random green things to someone else but to her, it is something she chose with great care, Her friend understands that. The gift for them is not what is in their hands but what is in the heart of the small one looking up at them. They are grateful for one another. honoring one another with their full attention is another gift. Have you given this to another recently? The present is here. Focus on the air around you and smell the scents. see the sights. Hear the sounds. If you offer yourself  up to each moment as a gift, you will learn the beauty of being present in the moment - perhaps it is time to spend time on someone who needs undivided attention, like yourself.

Pile 2

[Cards: Nine of Pentacles, Six of Swords (rx), The lovers, The Chariot, Knight of Wands] 

Now is not the time to give up or run away, we know you have the strength to face these challenges and fears head-on. What you seek may be closer than you can see or admit. To help you we recommend a bit of journaling or at least time to observe and write about what fills you with joy and gratitude to have or experience in your life. You could even write about the good things that occurred that day if it is too hard to think of the things that bring you blessings. You never know what a shift in attitude can bring you or the places it can take you!

Oracle: Play

Look at these happy young gentle creatures, they are being pulled by an adult. A butterfly keeps landing on their noses. shrieks of laughter spread joy as they go wheeling into the meadow. now is not the time for work or hard things. it is at this moment that you need to play. Move your body. Aim your heart for the playground you miss. Do not allow anyone to tell you that you are being irresponsible when you take a moment to sink yourself into the mindset of a child. Play is as important as work. No dull jacks here, please. freshen your outlook by jumping in a puddle, swinging on trees, or napping under one. do whatever you can to open yourself up to the playful spirit. by doing this you will find the answers that have been evading you. They are like butterflies landing on your nose - a tickling nudge. You know the questions can be resolved. The knotty problems will unwind. once you get out of your own way, all things will get better. so let loose and frolic, friend.

Pile 3

[Cards: Five of Swords (rx), six of pentacles, nine of wands, four of swords & Eight of Swords (rx) ]

First let us begin by telling you to breathe, deeply and slowly release all that tension and burdens, you have built up so much! We know it is for good reason but we are glad to be the ones to tell you the period of conflict & extreme shifts is over, You have done yourself so proud, allow yourself to feel that and make time for rest & self-care. Don't feel guilty for putting yourself first, you've already done so much for others & we know you will continue to be pure and kind so be patient your rewards are yet to come!

Oracle: Harbinger

A light beckons us forward. Bats swirl around this harbinger, but what news do they bring? Numbers tumble down. Seven is the number of seeking, of thinking, of moving forward on a quest. Nine marks its territory as selfless and compassion. Our creature then is showing us that a new journey awaits. The bats may come from our own internal dark place. Rather than scary, they are simply helpers. The numbers are also gifts to you. study them. learn about them. be compassionate with yourself as we are all beginners at some point and we will all be beginners again. follow the path of inquiry currently calling you. Open your eyes to see the light is in front of you. This isn't a time for delay as the call to journey is now. While you may want to plan more or think things through, you need to do that en route. Ask yourself what you actually need in this moment - all else you require will be found.

Thank you to all who have read this far! I do hope Mother Earth and all her lovely spirits & Sprites have been able to bring you a message that is able help you in whatever way matters most to you now. Remember to always care for and give thanks to the Earth, she is our only home and can use a little TLC more than ever these days!

If you are looking for more in-depth readings catered to only you, and you alone. Feel free to check out my personal readings, the link is up top or you can check this helpful post to understand how my readings will aim to help you!

-Love, Fae 🍀🧚🏻‍♀

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Hello! If it’s okay, I’d like to know your thoughts on the Trikoto theory (3+ alters). I think it’s a cool theory! And pretty likely, honestly. (Here’s a document about it in case you don’t know what I’m talking about. I didn’t make it, and I unfortunately don’t know who did, I just found it in another blog)(I really hope that link works lol)

Hey FF! I was wondering when you might send something in. Not the topic I expected, but I'm here for it!

I've definitely heard of this theory before. I can't say I know for sure where it originated, but I've always been under the impression that a blog called @bertrandcaillet started it as they're the first one I saw talk about that theory and they told me about it a while ago. They've since deactivated, though, so I can't really check with them to see if that's true.

I think the trikoto theory is interesting, and I fully agree with what's said on the document about how it would be nice if Milgram is showing a system with more nuance than just having two alters.

That being said, I personally don't believe this theory for a number of reasons. I'm going to do my best to explain why here. I do want to say going into this that while I do have extremely minimal psychology teaching (as in, undergrad psyc MINOR), I do not claim to be that educated on DID or similar struggles. So, anything that I say will be focusing much more on Milgram as a piece of media from a writing standpoint, because that's what I have much more extensive experience in.

I will say that I am very aware that most systems have more than 2 alters. That being said, I think I also remember from my psyc class that the average number is, like... 16? I'm not at my dorm right now and that's where my notes are, so I can't check, but I remember specifically thinking about it in the context of Mikoto and trikoto theory, so I'm pretty confident it's Above Three. That means that either way, it's not like we're doing The Most Common Number, so I think two versus three is largely irrelevant on that point.

For the sake of clarity, I'll be using the names in the doc (Akakoto, Midokoto, Aokoto), but I only personally believe that two of them (Akakoto, Aokoto) exist. I've taken to calling them Orekoto and Bokuto, but for this post, Akakoto and Aokoto it is.

At its base, my problem with trikoto theory is that I don't see a lot of evidence for it. Most of what I've seen has been talking about the implications of it if you assume it's true, but I've just never really been convinced in the first place. I'll just go through some of the main reasonings real quick:

The RGB Colors

I do acknowledge that I'm very much not a visually oriented person, so the color shifting is something I'm less inclined to notice. However, while the background of the room is blue and the train station and apartment are pretty green, I don't feel like there are ever really any red backgrounds (other than when the headspace becomes red as ooposed to blue). Because of that, I have a hard time believing that the backgrounds themselves contribute to the idea that there are three. I definitely think the red/blue coloration in the eyes and such are indicating different alters, but I don't think that specific fact supports there being three of them.

The Voice Changes

This might be a me issue, but I only really hear two different vocal inflections. I understand the point about there being some harsher (?) sounding vocals that don't have the growl, but personally, I still think the tone matches the one described as Akakoto enough to count. Similarly, the parts towards the end that are picked out for Midokoto ("I'm probably not to blame," etc.) actually sound more like Aokoto to me even if I do try to track the three voices.

I'm hesitant to go too hard in believing the different voices because to me, doing so would severely limit the amount of control Natsuki Hanae would have over the emotions he wants to put into the song. The vocalists in Milgram do a fantastic job at using specific vocal intonations to convey deep layers of emotions in their songs. I feel like it would be very limiting to only be able to use certain vocal effects (ex. growl) in specific places due to the limitations of the characters. If there are two, the two voices are far more separate, which gives more space for customization within the bounds of each voice.

This is also a little bit iffier on evidence, but there's the Es cover of MeMe. I don't know how much Yurina Amami knows about Mikoto's story and the entire video is in grayscale, so take all of this with a grain of salt, but to me, I feel like Es uses two voices here, not three. Notably, they even have a bit of vocal growl on the "switch" and on "split and half, make that heart beat," which are both squarely in the Midokoto tone. They do still have the two voice split, sounding a bit more apathetic and aggressive in the Akakoto parts and cuter in the Aokoto parts. To me, that signifies that there's suppose to be two voices going on, not three, but you could argue that that's just Es' perception of Mikoto, so it's not decisive or anything.

Mikoto Fighting Es

Yes, in his first audio drama, Mikoto is able to beat Es up until Kotoko stops him. Yes, that's inconsistent from what we've seen from Futa and also t2 Amane. I agree that that's because the Milgram rules only apply to one or more alters, and thus any others that may exist can get around the rulings. We saw this between trials, too, with how Mikoto (seemingly Akakoto at the time) was able to avoid being restrained despite his guilty verdict, likely through the same loophole.

(Side note: this implies to me that Milgram's system for restraining guilty prisoners is, like the protective barrier around Es, somewhat magical and isn't a physical thing. Thus, if we were to, say, vote Amane as guilty, I am fairly confident she would be unable to harm any other prisoners, as we've already seen the barriers are able to prevent her from attacking others. I still lean Amane innocent anyways, but I wanted to point this out.)

Anyways, I don't think that this is actually evidence towards trikoto theory because it works perfectly fine with just the two of them. Aokoto is the prisoner in Milgram and Akakoto isn't. This doesn't necessarily mean that Aokoto is the one who was fronting while the murder happened, though; the rules of Milgram just necessitate that the prisoner is involved in/related to a death. It can be indirect.

I think that that's exactly what Milgram is asking us with Mikoto. The question is, how do you fairly hold a system accountable? Can you blame one alter for the other's actions?

Milgram loves to complicate these, and I can see the appeal of a complication being learning about a third alter. Personally, I think it's much more likely that the route Milgram is taking is looking at how much knowledge the alters have about each other and asking how much Aokoto would have to know to make him an accessory to Akakoto's murder plans. It could go either way, though.

Some Bonus Points

I think the strongest piece of evidence brought up is the use of threes in Mikoto's design. Other than "they just liked it aesthetically," there isn't much of a counterargument I can make about it. My best one would be that they might be going for a "switching between black and white" type of thing, which would work better with more stripes, but that's pretty weak. I also had the idea that the first character of his name looks like three stripes, which might be a better or worse explanation! You get to decide, I have no idea.

The cake sells me less, though. It's true that Kazui's is a perfect 50/50 and that Mikoto's isn't, but that's because they're representing different things.

Kazui's is half and half because his song is called half, and it could also be a sign of how he and his wife didn't actually connect more in a marriage sense; they're still two fully separate people rather than being a unit.

Mikoto, if he has two alters, is still physically one guy. Mikoto is mostly sitting on the flower designs. I'd argue that the flowers are meant to show Mikoto as a whole: the connection point of the two alters.

That's pretty much all of what I have to say on the doc (in terms of the trikoto aspect, whether I believe it or not there's some good work done in character/lyric analysis that applies to two or three alter theories), but I'll go over some of my reason for why I actively believe there to be two, because there are some reasons.

Reason 1: The Song Titles

The doc explains what the meaning of MeMe is in trikoto theory, but it definitely still works with two, more obviously so. That's not evidence, though, because the trikoto theory has a viable explanation too.

I have no idea what they'd be doing with the song title Double, though. I guess it would be a play on somebody being someone else's double, meaning they're someone like them, which is no doubt part of the song title either way, but I think it's difficult to ignore the meaning of Double that means, y'know... multiplied by 2, or:

But that could very easily be a diversion and we haven't seen the second video, so I'd let that slide. However, that brings me to the bigger problem:

Reason 2: Upright Versus Reversed

AKA, the tarot cards.

Tarot cards can be read two ways, Upright or Reversed, based on the orientation of the card when it's placed/picked up/whatever. I already went over in my original theory (which is pretty outdated, I could do a way better job but I wrote that one literally first out of my milgram thoeries and I hated not having a good name scheme for the various alters) why I believe Akakoto to be the Hanged Man (Upright) and why I believe Aokoto to be the Hanged Man (Reversed).

I struggle to imagine why the devs would pick tarot, something that clearly has two meanings to it, when there are actually three alters. Maybe it'd just be to throw us off the scent, but it feels a bit too intentional to me.

Plus, if it was meant to throw us off, I'd expect we'd get a different metaphor/symbol for the second MV (as we have been with pretty much everyone). However, the association between Mikoto and "reversible" things has continued into trial 2, even before his MV has come up.

I say this because of his trial 2 cover song: Reversible Campaign. Funnily enough, I actually thought this song would go to Kazui before it was announced as Mikoto's, but then I looked again and understood why they wanted it for Mikoto.

My thoughts get confused and fight with each other

Very Mikoto, works for either two or three alter theories. However:

I just want to waver between black and white

It's turned me upside down

There's more that seems to paint Mikoto's mind as a dichotomy, not a... trichotomy? Is that a word? I don't actually know.

The Song Lyrics of MeMe

This is sort of an extension of the above part, but there are also definitely song lyrics in MeMe that sound like they're heavily implying two. Again, you could argue that that's trying to throw us off the scent, but some of them are, in my opinion, actively difficult to justify for trikoto theory.

Split in half, Make that heart beat

I cannot for the life of me understand why any of the three alters would say "split in half" if there are three. I guess if any of them were aware of one of the other alters, but not the other? I don't think that's what was being argued, though, sorry if I missed that.

I’m already the fake one

Little harder to argue this one because I don't know how definite versus indefinite articles work in Japanese, but saying the fake one really sounds to me like there is one fake and one real. If you were just having a moment of existential crisis, in most situations, I think you'd opt for "I'm already fake."

The Mirror

This is sort of the same argument as the tarot cards, but there's also the use of mirror imagery in Mikoto's MeMe MV. Mirrors have two sides and are a reflection. You could use Haruka logic and say that it depicts self reflection, I guess, but considering the reflection acts differently, I think it's much more likely that this is meant to show the two alters.

Conclusion

Hopefully this all made sense? I respect trikoto theory and I could easily be super wrong about it (see also: my original opinions on gay Kazui theory and police Kazui theory), but I've just never really been sold. It's possible my opinion would change if I saw evidence that I felt worked better for trikoto than... twokoto? theory, but personally, I feel like most evidence I've seen for it is still better explained by there being two alters. Let me know what you think, though :)

[heraldofcrow]

Do you have any specific neurodivergent headcanons for bb characters by far?

Yep!! Sorry for the wait on this, I was adding to it little by little.

Without further ado—

Wait, I forgot, I need to clarify something. I don’t really believe neurodivergence refers strictly to autism and ADHD like many often try to say, so with that in mind, my answers might be more varied.

• Rom

Rom is my main headcanon for neurodivergence in Bloodborne because I suspect something is up with her basically being called the “mentally disabled spider” in Japanese, while also having been the only person in Bloodborne to have ascended. With that in mind, I see her as an autistic savant. Perceived as a fool due to stunted outward development, but a genius beyond what others could even understand.

• Laurence

This one is maybe odd, but I have Laurence as someone with bipolar disorder and autism. I don’t have some in-depth explanation for this one other than it fits with the character I wrote for him.

• Gehrman

Clinical depression, like from the time he was a really small kid. He was just different from the start and saw far more than he should have. He was never a very hopeful or upbeat person.

• Bloody Crow

I write Crow with severe psychosis that stems from schizophrenia. There are signs of him being autistic as well, but his schizophrenia is the main thing he struggles with. It is NOT what makes him a villain later on, but when his delusions get out of control and trigger his mania…well, you don’t want to pair it with hatred and anger. Sadly, Crow is overflowing with both.

• Micolash

Micolash was not brought up in an environment where he was able to develop empathy for others, so he was always a bit sociopathic. This wasn’t actually much of a problem for years though, because he tried and learned via others about socalization and interpersonal relations. Sociopaths are not inherently dangerous and neither was Micolash. He was a decent person for a long time.

However, tragedy always strikes, and darker emotional issues and beliefs were what allowed Micolash to eventually weaponize his own sociopathy, committing worse and worse atrocities without feeling the pain of his victims. I like to imagine he was fully aware of how he thought about the process. The problem wasn’t his lack of empathy, it was his choice to utilize it in an evil manner.

• Adeline

Adeline has both Borderline Personality Disorder and clinical depression. The traumatic experiences in her youth left her with a lot of unresolved emotional tension, poor kid.

• Maria

I have her as Crow’s biological sister, so as siblings, they both actually struggle a bit with the same mental challenges. Maria doesn’t really have schizophrenia like her brother, but she experiences severe bouts of depression that can lead to hallucinations and psychosis. She also deals with extreme memory loss at times and heavy PTSD.

• Ludwig

Ludwig has ADHD but people can’t really tell because he is hard on himself about keeping his focus intact. People like Maria absolutely notice his struggle and his periods of low self-esteem. He is too tough on himself :(

• Eileen

This one is actually my favourite headcanon, but Eileen has DID and has at least one other alter that she formed when faced with a horrifically traumatic event as a child. Her alter is a stiff, austere military officer-type, who is comfortable with emotionlessness and treating Eileen’s line of work as a task that must be completed.

Eileen’s alter is harmless and she is aware that she is different in this sense. It’s actually what draws her to Bloody Crow, who is already so terrified of his own mind that he finds comfort in knowing his mentor and mother-figure is not too different.

—

Some of these might change, but I am happy with most for now. I love psychology and studying it, so I think of it as a worthy challenge to try to write characters with unique mental states and accurately so. It can be a little scary because I know people really care about how several of these mental illnesses are depicted, but hopefully I am not screwing anything up too much. 😅

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

this might be a touchy subject and you don’t have to answer but, as one myself, how would Yves act with a chronically ill/physically disabled person? or even someone who constantly deals with chronic pain that is debilitating for everyday life? btw i love your writing, no matter how cursed. 🤍

Yves feels his heart wrench whenever he sees you break down in tears, frustrated at yourself for not doing as well as other able-bodied people, frustrated that you have to surrender your autonomy at times to Yves. He truly does, he hates to see you in such a state. While he doesn't mind, even prefers you to be dependent on him due to his strong caregiver personality, Yves doesn't want it to be at the cost of your happiness.

He will read up on all the papers published about your illness or disability. Past and modern ones, there must be a pattern or some sort that he could identify. Yves will try his best to find a cure or at least something that will improve your symptoms greatly.

But the first thing he will get done is to talk to you. Discuss what you ultimately want; is it freedom you seek? His undying support? The unyielding truth that Yves will stay by your side no matter how bad it gets? Do you want to keep fighting for yourself, or do you want Yves to do it for you?

You will have the latest, cutting-edge prosthetics if you're struggling with an amputated limb or body part. All the helpful, relevant, accessible gadgets will be installed in the house in hopes of making your life much easier and giving back the level of independence you need to maintain your mental health. Yves will remember all your appointments for you, that fills his planners up. Your dosages, your medication, and the procedures of your treatments.

He will remind you, pre-pack your pills, and help you with your IV drip. Yves is very careful with his tone and words, he knows the stress, humiliation, and pain that come with living as a chronically ill person can easily set you off. Everything can be overwhelming, he does not want to see tears of anger or hopelessness in your eyes. It's not your fault, you never wanted this and it just happened to affect you.

Yves spends nights perusing through all experimental treatments, weighing between the risks and benefits. He will present his carefully curated selection to you, but he makes sure to pace it out appropriately. Because if he were to show you thousands of pages of medical reports, chances are you're going to be upset, overstimulated, and angry at him. You have very limited energy and focus, he needs to get his words as concise and accurate as possible.

Watching him kneel with you on the bathroom floor, as you experience your seventh vomiting tonight, truly shocked you. Understandably, you're in such a terrible state, that you've barely gotten any sleep for the past month. But Yves sleeps even less, he is always awake, always looking after you. Ready for any emergencies and constantly preparing items or foods that will ease you. Yet, he looks glowing, as if he wasn't caretaking a bleeding ball of misery. His hair is always silky and brushed, no bags under his eyes, and his movement is still crisp. And he always knows what to do, much better than you or your practitioners.

He knows your body well enough to administer his own dose of painkillers, going against doctors' orders and obtaining drugs that fully alleviate your pain. Strategically timing your doses so it won't be too hard on your liver. Taking your blood samples himself and ran them through his own trusted pathology lab, potentially proving that your doctor might have misdiagnosed you. Maybe you wouldn't need to suffer, Yves could find a cure.

You were very apprehensive at first when Yves suggested that he does his own testing. He has no credentials, why should you trust him? The doctors have much more experience than him and they went to school for this. You're not trusting a random to cut you open either, he's a mathematician, not a medical doctor or a surgeon-

You were dumbfounded when he produced his own certifications and licenses. Proving that he worked in hospitals, researched institutes, and even published his own medical papers that universities used as teaching material for decades. Everything he presented is legitimate, he even demonstrated the validity of them by your request. You could call his universities and they will all confirm his contributions, You can confirm with the government and the relevant boards, you can search for him anywhere, and early pictures of him will resurface.

He looked so different. Yves looked unremarkable in them with short hair. He looks unhappier and more exhausted, though. Makes you wonder how old he really is.

But that was all. You cannot find further information on Yves other than the ones he allows you to know about.

So you reluctantly let him stick a needle in you, only to realize that he's done. You blinked multiple times and darted your eyes from your arm and his gloved hands holding vials of blood. Unlike the usual nurses or doctors, you can't feel the needle going in or out. Yes, you saw it, but it was unbelievably fast.

Your jaw dropped as he didn't even need to palpate your arm. Yves just calmly inserted the syringe, gathered what he needed, and finished. You didn't experience any bruising later, which was astonishing with the speed he was working with.

He labeled them and packed them in a plastic bag with a biohazard symbol on it and into a padded envelope. Yves disposed of his gloves and washed his hands.

You expected him to enlighten you. Tell you stories while he was in the field, brag about his accomplishments, complain about difficult patients, anything! You needed to know more! Just who the hell is he?

But all he did was smile, give you a kiss on the forehead, and help you back to your room.

[lilas]

mostly spoiler free thoughts on aville going into DT

Avi’li and Erenville get close after ENW

Avi’li is in recovery in Sharlayan for at least a month; he’s not himself, he has a hard time doing basic things without him getting tired, he’s also bored and restless and irritated with everyone around him, and he’s unpacking a lot of trauma that’s culminated over the course of the story

He escapes often to Labyrinthos just to get away from people, and he starts working regularly with Erenville as a result, at first because it’s something to do that isn’t staring into the void and feeling eternity collapse around him, but it becomes a chance for Avi’li to reconnect to nature again, to the earth and life that he fought so hard to preserve

This is the focus of Adventures in Labyrinthos, a little collection of oneshots I’ve been writing on and off; just two strangers getting to know each other, learning about each other, and bonding over their shared interests

They just click and there’s some attraction and crushing there that neither of them is keen to act on

Erenville fully believes this is a short lived thing; they both travel to far flung corners of the world for various reasons, they may never cross paths again; so he’s satisfied leaving things unspoken, enjoys the bubbly feeling for what it is now, and is fine letting it go

Avi’li isn’t interested in maintaining any romantic relationship during this time; he’s focusing on himself, he doesn’t feel quite human sometimes, he doesn’t feel capable of meeting the emotional needs of other people, much less a romantic partner where there’s a higher expectation for reciprocity

He is also in love with Yugiri, and is grappling with where he wants to take their relationship and what feels right for both of them

There is also an element of denying yourself joy as a form of punishment. Avi’li isn’t aware he’s doing this. What is he punishing himself for? I think for him, he feels guilty he’s not… happier? He’s a hero, he saved the world, he acted selflessly….but he can’t return the same joy he sees when he’s thanked or applauded or praised.

Anyway

They reunite again before DT, obviously

Avi’li is better, he’s in a much healthier place after his experiences in the ENW patches

Erenville is considering things now. He and Avi’li will be traveling together for some time, maybe it’s worth it to see where things go?

Avi’li at this point has also concluded his romance with Yugiri; he feels better for it, he misses her, he’ll always be a little in love with her, but it feels better this way

However

His love for Yugiri, him telling her that he doesn’t feel he can be in a relationship right now because of his emotional/mental state—that’s echoing in his mind every time he looks at Erenville

He’s steadfastly ignoring any feelings, but it’s hard because he likes Erenville; theirs is a friendship and a connection Avi’li desperately wants and needs in his life; I don’t think he’s ever been so in tune with someone like this before?

They kiss on the boat to Tural (the boat is free headcanon territory; still in that in between of everything I know to have happened so far, and everything to come)

It happens one evening beneath the stars, talking about nothing, and it’s spur of the moment and amazing until Avi’li ends it

Erenville confesses he likes Avi’li, wants to see where a romantic relationship could go if Avi’li would let them

But Avi’li is afraid and guilty; what if his mental health relapses? What if he hurts Erenville? What about Yugiri? If he can be with Erenville, shouldn’t he go back to Yugiri and try again with her? Doesn’t she deserve that?

So Avi’li rejects him, stating those very reasons, and Erenville is…… understanding but frustrated. What is more frustrating than being rejected not because they didn’t like you back but because of fear and guilt? Because of reluctance to try?

Anyway, this is how we’re starting DT. 😌👍 Where do they go from here? That is to be discovered during MSQ. 🫡

Their dynamics can shift, certain things can happen, anything can impact their relationship so We Will See where they end up by the end of it all. I’ll enjoy the journey no matter the outcome. 💕

[multiplicity-positivity]

hey, I'm a questioning plural, and I don't know if I'm coming to the right place for this but I feel like I experience this differently than most plurals I see on here (I've deemed how I feel Blural for Reasons That Will Be Expanded Upon Later lol). So, first, I (the host?) don't really have any control or knowledge over who's where, when. They just sort of show up when we're doing different activities, and sometimes there's multiple... Fronting, I guess? I don't know if that's the right word. We also don't really have a communal inner world, so if they're there they're there, if they're not they're not. And here's where Blural comes in- they have different roles and identities, but they feel more like the same person copy-pasted but with some aspects changed, so there's considerable overlap and it make it kind of hard to differentiate them. So I guess Im wondering if there's like, a term for this? Or if it's a development stage sort of thing? Thanks for being here btw, you've helped us a lot ^^ (sorry the ask is so long)

Hey - we’re not sure if there’s a specific term for what you’re experiencing. To us, it just sounds like being a system in the early stages of discovery.

It’s pretty normal for system members to not have a ton of awareness about other system members, especially not at first. It’s also very common for system members to not be able to control each other. Even a system’s host may struggle with keeping their system on the same page or not even be aware of how many members their system has. Our system was in a similar position when we first started learning about each other.

Having multiple members front at the same time is another common occurrence. As we understand it, when two or more members are fronting together with shared access to the world and control over their body, that is co-fronting. If one member is fronting fully while another member is able to be present and witness events without being an active participant, that is being co-conscious. Our system experiences a mixture of both!

As far as an inner world… most systems don’t come with one right off the bat. For many systems, inner worlds or headspaces are visualization tools that were actively imagined and built by the systems themselves. We wrote a post about headspaces in the past which might help you learn more:

And as for your fellow headmates appearing as copies… some systems do just function that way. We’ve known systems to have twin members, clone members, carbon-copy members, or to fully exist as a system made up of multiple versions of one person. This might change in the future, as you all grow and learn more about yourselves and each other… or it might not. For some folks, that’s how their plurality manifests, and that’s okay! It’s nothing to worry about actively changing, unless it’s been causing you and your members a lot of distress.

Sorry our response got long, but hopefully something here can help you!

[imaginarylungfish]

AUDHD 👏 GOJO 👏

I’m right there with you so, in true AuDHD style, I’m zooming into your inbox to infodump because I’m ALWAYS desperate to scream about this (shout out to @ellionwrites for patiently and compassionately listening to my unpolished rambles about a lot of this stuff in private)!

I actually have a LOT of thoughts about 236 and how it’s Gojo’s “unmasking”. That chapter is really emotional for me because of how well it articulates my personal experience of navigating the world as an autistic person. This post (and especially its tags) from right after it came out says it in a much more concise way, but Gojo’s upset pout breaks my heart because, to me, that's evidence of “no matter how much you try, people will misunderstand you” and damn… that hits a little close to home 🥲

It’s why his death had such a strong impact on me, especially when it felt like half the internet was ignoring the actual words Gojo said to claim “he never cared about that stuff, he was arrogant from the start and you just misread him". In combination with “it was the best ending for a character like Gojo" — right after we find out how deeply lonely he’s been, never able to truly connect with anyone after Geto left? Well, it was mindblowingly meta and, therefore, pretty painful to read.

I wrote an analysis of Gojo’s character in 236 and, even though I wasn’t viewing him through an autistic lens for that particular post, I think my words under the cut still read that way — that’s how baked into his character I think this stuff is! I genuinely think the two pairs of sorcerers sitting with their backs to each other is a visual representation of the double empathy problem. I'm not sure autistic and allistic people can ever arrive at a place where we fully understand each other, but that doesn’t mean autistic people have to carry all the burden and remain isolated. That’s why it’s meaningful that Gege makes it clear that all the characters care about each other, even if they don’t see eye-to-eye.

Glad to see you shouting about this reading of his character, because I haven’t seen many people talking about it. Some people are very hostile to ND headcanons, especially for characters as popular as Gojo, which is why I haven’t really talked about it much myself. However, I feel like any fellow AuDHDers who read my fic must be side-eying me constantly because I don’t think I’m subtle about how I write Gojo’s character at ALL 🤪

Maybe it’s time to be brave and publicly share my 236 AuDHD!Gojo manifesto for the five of us who are standing in a circle screaming about this! Cheering you on and sending lots of love ♥️

Ahhhhh thank you so much for this infodump!!!! I was on a AuDHD!Gojo rampage last night as my brain worm hit right as I should have been going to sleep. But such are things....

Like idk why it didn't truly hit me until now, but I can't unseen Gojo as AuDHD. (It was probably because I re-watched "Everything's Gonna be Okay" with some AuDHD representation and then I started thinking of other AuDHD characters and immediately thought of Gojo.) I did play with the idea a few months back, but it hit me with full force yesterday.

Idk like I get a little annoyed with people who think I or others like Gojo just because "he's hot" because like okay fine yes (but also I think I just have gender envy but that's a whole other can of worms). But also, no no no that's not it! My love for Gojo is more than that! He speaks to me as a character. He's misunderstood. He's seen as something he isn't. In my eyes, he's neurodivergent (and queer). And Geto was the only other person who ever saw him for who he really was.

Gojo's death was really hard on me. I remember exactly where I was when I read that chapter. And then the airport. Fuck. EmOtIOns. At first, I tried understanding Nanami's words. I really did. But really, I just didn't if I'm honest. Those words were a shock to me. Like yeah okay he's selfish (but like aren't all humans?). He also helps though! Isn't that obvious? And at the end? He wanted to have an equal to go all out with in a fight. Again, why was that bad? He was also helping! What's the issue? He's a fallible human. Like you said in your analysis, he contains multitudes. What's wrong with that?

So, like many others, I thought maybe I misread Gojo. But no. Now I think the missing piece was that Gojo is AuDHD and Nanami didn't quite get that. He didn't understand Gojo's actions. (And ahh god that lil pout. Gojo was just living his life and people saw him but they never ~saw~ him.)

I think the visual of the sorcerers back-to-back is a great metaphor for the double empathy problem. I never saw it that way, but I see it now and like it! And I think you're so right with the fact that the characters still respect and support each other even if they don't understand each other fully. I think that's a theme woven throughout the story.

Blahhh I feel like there is so much textual support for AuDHD Gojo. Like him being blindsided by Geto's defection because he didn't see Geto's decline (and don't get me started about Autistic!Geto with his strict black-and-white thinking), him just blabbing about sweets when he meets up with Megumi before fighting one-finger Sukuna at the beginning, the fact he thought revealing Yuuji to his classmates at the exchange event would be funny (cause hey, I thought it would too until it happened and I saw oh hey, it wasn't), etc. Plus, his blindfold. His overall personality. Like, it's such a heavy mask. Now I see that.

I feel like people either love Gojo or they hate him. (I immediately gobbled up your analysis and 100% agree. And I think people's reactions to his death are pretty telling.)

So, thank you for the yummy AuDHD!Gojo content. Please feel free to send me more/link me to things. I feel like I have a million more things to say but my brain is jumping all over the place and I've already spent 40 minutes this morning on this when I should have been getting ready for work. Hehe, whoops.

Gojo is AuDHD. I will die on this hill. Let's keep staring and screaming at each other about this. Sending you good vibes and love as well 🤍

[cowpokeomens]

Ayfuckingo, who’s stealing work👀👀👀 (Who thinks stealing someone’s hard ass work is fun? Wtf)

Yknow I thought abt deleting this ask and my post but I’m feeling feisty and fed up today, actually! This is not directly specifically at you anon 🫶 anyways read at your own risk lol

I’m not dropping names because I’m not a gossip blog, but I think the tendency of certain celebrated “authors” to dip into other people’s creative endeavors for their own work is gross and completely diminishes the whole point of fandoms. Like, this is supposed to be a community. Instead it’s turned into a competition that literally no one wants to be a part of where people say “oh yay, another _____ AU!” Instead of “wow, that’s awfully hyper specific and pretty flagrantly rips off of soemthing I’ve seen before?”

I think we, as members of fandom, have become soooooo wrapped up in the culture of needing to “consume content” that we disregard artistic integrity. We don’t care that the idea is stolen because we love the idea so much. I’m not talking about tropes (ie; enemies to lovers, grumpy!character x sunshine!character, fake dating) I’m talking about the actual creative thought that goes into making a fic. I understand loving someone’s creativity; I’m an artist, and I am constantly absorbing and thinking about art from other people. It’s inevitable that some ideas will trickle into your own work. But there comes a point where there is a clear difference between “inspired” and stolen.

I’m not trying to say this as some kind of writing authority - there are SO MANY talented and hardworking writers on this platform who make beautiful work leagues better than my stupid horny rambles. And like I said, I’m not naming names- the plagiarizers are fully aware of what they’re doing. But the way in which y’all treat fic is really disappointing sometimes. It’s not all about the next update, y’all. This is someone’s art. It’s not just a “good idea” in public domain for you to pluck and use in your own work as you please. It is someone’s art.

I just can’t help but feel like it circles back to a deeply ingrained need to devalue artists. If there was any respect for author’s and their work, this wouldn’t even need to be a conversation. Don’t fucking steal from people. Why do you value the work of an author so little that you feel it’s okay to take something they’ve worked incredibly hard on? Obviously you like it enough to try and pass it off as your own, so why steal at all? There’s a reblog button, you can add comments to let them know how much you love it. What are you gaining?

I’m coming from the position of an artist, not just a fic writer. This has nothing to do with my writing personally (as far as I’m aware, no one is trying to pass off my ideas as their own.) But as an artist, I cannot put into words how saddening and downright violating it is to have someone look at a thing you made, something you put your experiences and thoughts and emotions into, and think “it’s completely fine for me to take this idea and run with it.” That is insurmountably shitty.

Y’all are too damn smart to not notice. I think too highly of y’all as readers and creators to chalk it up to misunderstanding. You probably already had a fic in mind as you were reading this! I think we, as a community, really need to work on our intentionality and integrity with regards to art making. Stealing ideas is not conducive to making art or maintaining any semblance of community in fandom. Anyways this was long, I apologize for nothing, byeeeeeeeeee

[amaesama]

𝐶𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑦𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑎 𝑠𝑒𝑥����𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 ℎ𝑐’𝑠

These are just my personal Headcanons and although some may contain canonical facts many of the others are my personal opinion based on vibes. Also reminder to please send me any requests cuz I have no idea what to write thank uuu.

Jane is a lesbian. We all know she is. She was probably the first person in the mansion out and I think kind of gave everyone else the motivation to also come out. Most of the girls who are queer in the mansion probably realised they were queer BECAUSE of Jane. Which is very understandable.

The Slenderman is an eldritch being so I don’t think he does the whole dating thing, you could consider him aroace but he doesn’t really consider himself as anything.

Jeff is also somewhere on the aroace spectrum, probably Greysexual and Greyromantic (this whole post is probably going to be me giving myself representation oml). He’s also pan, on the chance that he does take interest in someone their gender isn’t going to be a major deciding factor. He’s cis with a bit of toxic masculinity mixed in because he is an asshole.

Liu is a hard one, part of me wants to say he’s straight because of their scarf. And that really is the only reason. But I also think he’s bi with a male lean. As they have DID he most likely uses plural pronouns most of the time, but he himself uses he/they.

Sully is Greyaroace, he doesn’t really care about Liu’s partner as long as they don’t hurt him. If Liu is with his partner then he’ll only front if Liu wants him to meet them, but other than that he’ll just leave them be. If Sully takes an interest in someone that Liu is interested in then Liu (being the angel he is) will let him front so he can get to know them.

I’m not including Laughing Jack because his creator is a piece of shit.

Eyeless Jack is demiromantic, demisexual and pan. He cares more about the person as an individual over anything, and he will likely spend a few months before getting with his partner to get to know them as he is a very distrusting and cautious to new people or people he doesn’t know that well. He also won’t get intimate with someone who he doesn’t fully know as he knows he looks a bit… odd (I mean he thinks he does), and he needs to know that his partner will accept him.

Toby is a hard one. He had to be homeschooled due to the bullying so I don’t think he had much romantic experience, the only exposure to any kind of relationship was his parents, but he knew that was abusive and toxic. Because of that I think he is hesitant to be in a relationship as he’s afraid he’ll end up like his dad, but once he has built the motivation to fight that fear he might rush into relationships so he can get a feel of them. He’s likely to be bi, to him the most important part of a relationship is being mindful and understanding of each other’s situation and feelings. I don’t know who first came up with the hc that Toby is ftm but I can very much get behind it. Consider trans Toby canon in my universe.

BEN has the biggest bisexual energy in which I have ever seen in an individual. This is only something they realised after he died and was taken to the mansion, and as they were around 13 when they died (I don’t like the idea that BEN continued to age until 18, it’s weird) he is eternally that age so anything beyond kissing, hugging or holding hands is a no no. BEN uses he/they/it, not really because he considers himself non-binary but because he’s technically coding, plus he looks like Link and we all know Link isn’t cis.

HELENNN. Helen is my favourite creepypasta so if this ends up longer than the others then you know why. Helen was raised as a girl due to his parents really wanting a girl but out popped Helen, who was not a girl. Being raised as a girl for the first few years of his life and then being told he was a boy as soon as he went to school was very confusing for him, and I think because of that when he grew up he really didn’t see the importance of gender roles or such a strict line between genders. I read a hc from another writer that Helen is agender and uses he/him pronouns, which is an idea I really like. He is canonically described as a jerk with the facade of a gentleman, which can have an effect on his relationships as he has a tendency to be a bit aloof and selfish towards his partner at the start of their relationship. With some help he will learn not to be though, but this is a process that will take a while. I don’t think he cares too much for labels and he doesn’t consider himself bi or pan or anything; whilst his partners gender isn’t particularly important, he likes them to be pretty and have a pleasant personality.

Clockwork is lesbian, and (although I may be a bit bias because I ship them) I think she likes Jane. I mean, who wouldn’t like Jane?? Have you seen her??? I think she was also comphet due to trauma she may have endured in her prior life, and because of this she forced herself to like Toby when she first arrived at the mansion. Then she met Jane and was kind of like ‘well fuck.’ After that she assumed she was bi but after a bit of research she realised she was lesbian. She’s probably pining over Jane, is the pining mutual? Who knows.

Nina is Greysexual, greyromantic and straight. This is because the only person she loves, has loved and ever will love is Jeff. It is completely possible that this is a delusion and is something she has manipulated herself into thinking and her thinking she’s straight may be because she only ‘loves’ Jeff and as she could never be with anyone else she must be straight. She’s an ally though so 😍.

Judge Angels is genderfluid and pan. This stems a bit from Helen being unlabelled as these two definitely had something going on and Helen didn’t care about their gender. I honestly don’t know much about Dina so this is pure vibes.

Nurse Ann is a lesbian and probably has a thing going on with Kate. Source: trust me bro.

The Puppeteer is gay. His love for Emra was more of an obsession and fascination then actual love, and I think he realised this when he met the inhabitants of the mansion. He was a initially unsure of how a bunch of serial killers would react to him being gay but when he saw that Jane was out and wasn’t getting judged because of it he was just like ‘why not.’ He’s also asexual because I’m asexual and I say so.

Masky and Hoodie are really hard to figure out. Tim in Marble Hornets was the most gay coded individual in which I have ever seen, which may be due to my own interpretation but as this is my hc I’m saying he’s gay, and probably greysexual. Part of the reason why he went along with Jay in ‘finishing the project’ despite having really no interest in it was because he most likely had a little crush on him. But then he became the Slendermans proxy and started working with Brian and was like ‘ah shit here we go again.’ They keep it strictly business though, so it’s unlikely they will be anything more than colleagues.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆