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crackheadintheclouds · 2 years

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•SOMEONE ADDED YOU TO MURDER PLAN•

#UNKNOWN1:

We should lure her in the alley.

And then boom

Stab her.

#UNKNOWN2:

No what if someone spots us in a camera or something?

And if she screams everything is over

#UNKNOWN3:

Yeah

It's probably not a good idea

#UNKNOWN4:

Okay then how about we kill her in her sleep?

#UNKNOWN3:

Idk if that will work

#UNKNOWN2:

But for that we need to get her address you dumbass

And getting into her room at night is probably not going to be easy

#UNKNOWN4:

Ohh i totally forgot about that

Okay how about we push her from the terrance.....

#UNKNOWN2:

Arlan! Ffs that's not going to work either!

Someone will spot us going upstairs!

Plus the door is always locked! We will need permission to take keys from the office

And everyone will already suspect us by then you Dumbass!

#UNKNOWN3:

And remember if she survives the fall we all will be dead

[UNKNOWN4 saved to contact as ARLAN]

#UNKNOWN2:

GG Zaid

[UNKNOWN3 saved as to contact as ZAID]

ZAID:

#UNKNOWN1:

Hah! You suck at this!

No wonder you failed the science test Arr!

#UNKNOWN5:

Wait hold the fk up

Arrr you said you aced the test and promised to tutor me!

ARLAN:

Skype you scumbag! You promised to keep it a secret mann!

[UNKNOWN1 saved to contact as SKYPE]

SKYPE:

I'm sorry but i couldn't control it ... 🤭

ARLAN:

STFU I'm pissed

Sry Angus but i really needed that money

[UNKNOWN5 saved as to contact as ANGUS]

ANGUS:

Dude I was literally going to fail again!

Agahhahajaj

Thanks to Sky !

SKYPE:

Your welcome <33

#UNKNOWN2:

And you guys say you love murder movies

none of you MFs can suggest a good idea in the past two hours!

YOU:

Not to mention but even your suggestions sucked

#UNKNOWN2:

Finally someone who speaks English!

Right on time Drex , I have to admit I was on my last brain cell dealing with these guys🤦‍♂️

YOU:

me?|

No problemo my man

I'm here for your salvation

#UNKNOWN2:

Tf?

What the hell is wrong with you

YOU:

everything I guess?|

everything I|

Wdym

Nothing is wrong with me buddy 🤨

SKYPE:

Drex used a fucking emoji! Drex used a fucking emoji!

ANGUS:

:00000

*Le gasp*

SKYPE:

Time for fucking evolution! 🎉🎊

ARLAN:

Dammnnn Drex is changing, I can finally rest in peace :')

ANGUS:

I'm proud of you man 🤠

YOU:

Thanks ma 👬 buddies

#UNKNOWN2:

STFU you three

Drex Wtf is wrong with you?

Are you feeling alright

YOU:

Nothings wrong with me 🙄

you better check your eyesight👀

ANGUS:

You shut the fk up Jin 😃

We're having a moment.

[UNKNOWN2 saved to contact as JIN]

[Jin is typing......]

ZAID:

Um guys....

ARLAN:

Don't disturb Zaid.

Let us speak

SKYPE:

I can't believe we finally did it.

We changed that cold asshole

ANGUS:

Man I'm tearing up

ARLAN:

All our efforts

SKYPE:

did not go in sane

ANGUS:

It's vain not insane Skype

SKYPE:

Stfu I know what I'm talking about

ARLAN:

Jin's been typing tooo long

I suggest you brace yourself Drex

ANGUS:

might as well be ready to die 💀 coz he seems pissed

YOU:

..............

JIN:

Nothing's wrong with you? Bitch, you know, everything's wrong with you. I already have my eyesight checked before I said that, you dumbass. You're fucking lucky I never complained when I saw that shity demonic face of yours. Makes me wanna jump off a building and die. You should try get a fucking life, it's free. Why don't you come up with something creative to say you sack of pearly packaged horse shit- Or are you too scared? I wouldn't be surprised that such a shithead like yourself is really just a pussy cat.

YOU:

O_O

ARLAN:

I-I-

ANGUS:

😶😶

ZAID:

Guys we have a problem...

SKYPE :

Not now Zaid, we fucking witnessed a murder...

ANGUS:

Let's have a two minutes silence for Drex's funeral⚰️

ARLAN:

RIP

He lived a good life

[You are sending a file......... ]

YOU:

[file]

Here have a snicker Jin

You're not yourself when you're hungry

And also no need for a freaking funeral I'm still alive and kicking Jin

JIN:

Wha-what the holy fuck?

ARLAN:

*spits water*

SKYPE:

*spits coffee*

ANGUS:

*spilts coca cola*

ZAID:

Lmao-

That was a good one

ANGUS:

bruh but SERIOUSLY what happened to him? Is he drunk or something?

ARLAN:

PROBABLY HIGH

SKYPE:

WHATEVER THAT WAS IT WAS FUCKING COOOL! I CCAN LITERALYL SNESE THE GREAT SASSY LORD JIN STUTTERING FROM THE SCREEN!

YOU:

TYTY 🤠🤩

JIN:

Stfu I'm just baffled by your stupidity Drex

These 3 brats really spoiled you to the brim

YOU:

Oh please I'm glad they did 😌💅

JIN:

*signs*

And what were you saying again Zaid?

ZAID:

Oh yeah I was saying....

We made a mistake guys, that person isn't Drex, it's someone else because he's been cursing in my pm like there's no tomorrow.

[Angus is typing...... ]

[Jin is typing......... ]

[Arlan is typing..... ]

TO READ FURTHER :

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napitali · 2 years

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My thoughts on Assassin's Creed Valhalla

(as many of them as could be after an hour long gameplay)

Keep in mind that the only other experience I have with this type of games is the Ghost of Tsushima (well, and FFXV but that was ages ago) so I'll be comparing these two very heavily

Which might be the reason for why I'm a bit disappointed. And I really don't want to be this type of guy but as of now I'm not really into it? Like, with GoT I could sit and play for 10 hours straight doing just the side stuff or goofing around, chasing foxes.

With Valhalla I don't have that drive, unfortunately. But the reasons for that are two:

The first one is purely physiological aspect. Since it's christmas time and everyone was like "yes, Santa movies marathon!" I had to wait until late night to be able to turn on my ps. So I was tired, annoyed and shaking from overcaffeination. Not an ideal state to be in.

The second one (I think more important) is the heavy fog of greatness that is the Ghost of Tsushima, which I had completed very recently. And it's considered one of the best games ever for a reason. I've heard only good things about GoT and I've heard many good things about Valhalla as well, but they're obviously two different games and while I respect that, I still can't free myself from that high bar Sakai's world had set.

The first thing that gave me some minor backlash happened already in the intro. And I'm not talking about the intro itself, because I really liked how that whole banquet was portrayed, but the mechanics for following the main story;

If you got on the path leading to the progression of the story you could do nothing but walk forward. And I mean literally nothing. I'm not complaining about the lack of option to back out but the lack of option to look around.

While walking towards the king I took my sweet time to familiarise myself with the environment, because that's kind of what I always do and also a habit that developed with the stunning sceneries in GoT. As soon as I rounded the corner on the way to Eivor's mother I thought that my controller died lmao. I look at every corner, every cranny from every angle and then Eivor just stops and I'm like "what the hell?". While I get that it's like that to probably load in the next location without blowing up my ps it still doesn't sit with me right.

You know, I love the free roam and that smoothness of playthrough.

Which leaves me with another annoyance - I feel like the camera movement is a lot rougher than in the GoT. Well I don't feel, I know it is, which again isn't that big of a deal but still a little downgrade from what I'm used to. Perhaps I can mess with the settings of that; If not, then I guess it's just the matter of getting used to it.

What I do like very much even though it's giving me some trouble as of now is the controls. It's fundamentally different from GoT and even from FF but they make sense logically. L for the left hand and R for the right hand is something I found very interesting the first time the game told me that. I'm not sure if they're more practical than the controls in GoT since, let's face it - I suck at Valhalla combat so goddamn much that I can't tell.

I feel that GoT's combat, even though more nuanced, made it easier to get away with overwhelming the enemy with attacks - it's more reflex based compared of Valhalla where the weapon you wield dictates your attacks speed; It requires more patience which is something I need to learn still.

In the topic of controls, I wish there would be a guide to what button does what (yes, like in GoT) because I will be sure to forget. Perhaps there is but I haven't browsed deep enough to find it yet.

Also, and I feel extremely ashamed to address it in the game literally named Assassin's Creed, but I have no idea how assassinations work. I am sure the game told me but I was so distracted with the whole looking around that I just missed it. Is there a specific button for that? Or do I still have to fight them but with the advantage of surprise? I feel like there has to be a way to do it quietly but maybe it's just the GoT taking reigns of my expectations again. After all, we're in the Viking world where dying without putting a fight is worse than the concept of death alone.

I know it's just a beginning and I don't even know what the game is about yet so I'll definitely need to dive into it more. And perhaps stick to the main story for now instead of doing all the side stuff along the way.

#yes I should definitely give up on that stupid piece of flying paper #assassin's creed valhalla #ghost of tsushima

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myatuesday · 4 months

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There was an article about only children so naturally I had to trauma-dump:

Being an only child sucks, especially as you get older. I always thought it sucked. But after dealing with my mother's passing this past year, it turned a less than desirable situation into a fucking nightmare, I'm not sure I'm even going to survive. (And who exists to give a fuck if I don't? My non-existent family? Smh.)

Every single detail falls on my shoulders. Alone. Just me. Everything; planning the funeral/burial, full responsibility regarding her estate, sorting through her things and emptying out her home, dealing with the grief totally alone with no one to talk to about it every fucking second of every fucking day, dealing with the issues surrounding the cause of death (wrongful death), dealing with the lawyers, taking on the huge financial burdens that I in no fucking way can handle. The list goes on and on and on of EVERYTHING that fell on my shoulders, alone, with no one to help me with any of it.

On top of that, my mother's father died 2 weeks after my mom died. Why is that relevant? My mother was his only child too. Same scenario as above. Except instead of it falling on her (since she's not here, otherwise it would've), both fell on me (at the same goddamn time). But the point stands, either way. Only children bear the brunt of your burden. Period. And it's bullshit. It's not fair. Don't do this to your kid.

No one attempting to give a fuck can even begin to comprehend what this is like, because... most people aren't only children of single parents. Sooo... nobody and I mean, not a single soul I've talked to gets it. I've even looked for examples in the media for support; books, movies, TV shows, anything. There's nothing. (Well, there's Disney's Cruella. No comment even necessary there.)

No one even addresses the life of an only child. Much less an only child dealing with the death of their parent. Even Pip has a sister in Great Expectations, ffs. Family is the backbone of storytelling in media. Therefore, there's just fucking a whole lot of nothing as a resource for people without that luxury. Everything in media about death is about how the grieving leans on family and has this amazing support system that rallys around them. And they sit around with their siblings, reminiscing or working through their shared trauma or wtfever. Nothing about any of that is relatable to an only child. It's just a sea of you and you alone in the emptiness of your lone existence.

This is all just way too much of a burden to put on one human. Period. I'm literally suicidal.

And the only thing worse than or at least equal to being an only child and how isolating that can be. Or burdensome. Or both. Is the fact that no one understands you (nor do you truly understand them). People try to empathize or feign empathy, while literally having 5 fucking siblings or wtfever. It's honestly infuriating and insulting at times. Because it's like, you don't get it and you'll never get it. And do you even understand how fucking lucky you are that this never has to be your experience, because you actually have family to support you? The privilege is real. And the fact is, everyone deserves that privilege. Don't deny your child of that, because you aren't always going to be enough. And you need to think about that when family planning.

Even my friends who have parents who have passed at least have siblings and moved to be closer to said siblings and/or their surviving parent (plus neices/nephews, the whole damn thing). That's a huge advantage in comparison. I've got fucking none of that. So I can't even relate to them and vice/versa, even when it comes to our parents death. I'm alone, as an only. They're not. Plain and simple.

There's literally just no one to talk to who can actually relate. And there's not even an example in media, as I mentioned. So all of that just adds to the layers of feeling alone (and misunderstood) in the world. Which was an issue long before death exasperated it.

There's just always this disconnect between the ability to relate to peers with siblings vs only children. The older I got, I became extremely jealous and felt more and more alone in the world, while also feeling othered, witnessing everyone else have these huge family units and all this love and support and just a sense of community. It's like as soon as my friends turned idk 30, they all were just very family oriented (if they weren't already). Meanwhile, I'm just out here twisting in the wind.

Because, not only did my friends become more family oriented, but because they became more family oriented, they became more attached to their family and less reliant and invested in their friendships for support.

It fucking sucks. I'm resentful. I'm depressed. I'm angry. There's so many emotions tied to witnessing others have these full lives, while I'm just alone in my only child world of... fucking me, myself and I.

Don't do this to your kid. It's fucked up. Give them a sibling.

And if you can't do that, you better give them a million dollar life insurance policy, have your funeral planned for and paid for in advance, make sure they're the listed beneficiary on everything and that everything will transfer upon death. And leave them money for legal fees and anything else they may possibly need to cover in the meantime. Because probate isn't free. Put EVERYTHING in writing with an attorney to assure it's legally binding. And know none of that does them any good for the first few months, hence leaving money to the side to cover all your bills and legal fees and yadda fucking yadda until the monies tied up in legality and red tape start getting released. It's a fucking nightmare.

Do everything in your power to make it easier on them. But even with all that, you're still dead and gone. Forever. And they have no sibling to talk to about it. Ever. So... sit on that before you start planning these one child families. Because it's honestly selfish AF.

And that's primarily covering what it's like for an only child when a parent dies. Not every other fucked up scenario in their life related to their solo identity.

If you want an example, might I suggest Veruca Salt (fictional child) or Scott Disick (real adult) as examples of how this only child lifestyle tends to manifest.

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scorchedhearth · 2 years

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also do you have any unpopular opinions about either the gl corps or the old guard (or both if you're feeling it)

oh, i can never pass on the opportunity to be a hater, thank you <33

i hate how the glc are now militarized, with shore leaves and a strict hierarchy and police/army language used by the corps themselves. i understand that they fight so there must be some kind of tactical and fighter aspect, but i hate how they're so much like an army instead of a bunch of people supposed to just help their sector. everytime guy calls himself a cop i die a little inside, full hate intended. you'd think the kid abused by his drunken cop of a father wouldn't idealize the profession so much but i guess the writers don't think that much! that and the critical lack of imagination the creators have for aliens culture. maybe if they stopped licking the us boots for a second we could have more interesting than 'it's just like earth but with funny colors!'. i did consider committing a crime when i saw that isamot's gf had boobs (she's a lizarkon, like him), or when every single planet has the same way of acting than the us (when on earth you only got one us, and many other countries. the way they write their alien planet you'd think they all have one country and one city and nothing more, not even two different cultures on the same planet ffs). i also hate the parallax retcon, but that one isn't unpopular it's a 50/50 situation from what i've seen

it's been a while since i actively interacted with tog so no idea what's unpopular or not these days, but quynh isn't crazy she's hurt beyond comprehension and deserves consideration that the comics haven't given her in full with her u-turn to a bad guy with little explanation. but also, the comics are fine (not great but not bad either), and the people who hate on them haven't read them or are too attached to the movie, you just need two different approaches to enjoy them both. the sequel shouldn't have a jn flashback, and andy's breakdown at the end of vol.2 makes sense, even if the others' reaction doesn't at all (they just fought to get booker back despite the exile, and now they're all abandoning andy out of the blue isn't of sticking with her? i call bullshit). nile's lack of recognition by the fandom while upsetting unfortunately isn't surprising, and i think a good portion of her story should focus on her grieving her life and family, which doesn't really happen in vol.2 and that's a shame, i think it should be addressed more closely in the sequel because she just lost her entire life. but also, i think too many people forget that it's a netflix action movie first and foremost, and while we got some good commentary out of it about humanity and its purpose, the main takeaway should be that people can fuck you up with a sword and a gun and that it's sexy as hell when they do, that and that military propaganda slither its way into anything and you gotta be careful. and also that fandom is stupid as shit because the 'he thinks you're a mouse' isn't a private joke between joe and nicky, it's literally to mock merrick, omg you people lack media comprehension skills to a level that worries me

anyway thanks for enabling me friend <3 i won't publish the first ask but now that it made me snort out loud, and also my deepest condolences for this moment you suffered through, i wouldn't have made it out alive if i were you

sleepover asks

#i had the mouse one for a long while. insert the 'you're all so stupid' meme. can't believe that was a legit thing for so long when joe is #just mocking merrick's morals and ethics lmao #you see people make meta post pages long and then they can't understand two lines of dialogues #asks #scattered-winter

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andreafmn · 4 years

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Running In Circles - Chapter 1

Word Count: 3,196

Characters: Female Reader Rossi Character, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ”Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia, George Foyet, Multiple Unsubs and Victims

Story Description: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Criminal Minds, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and CBS Network. The only thing I own is Arden Rossi, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others' story line.

Chapter: 1/?

Chapter Description: (Y/N) remebers her first day in the job and recounts all the cases and events that led to the downfall of George Foyet.

A/N: I decided to say fuck the anxiety of posting and put up my Aaron fanfiction. It’s been gathering dust in my documents folder and I love writing too much to keep it to myself. I’m not sure how many chapters this will have but there’s already 8 chapters all finished up. Soon I’ll be posting ff of all the fanfictions I enjoy also! If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

Next->

Chapter 1

“Good morning, BAU!” I said as I walked through the doors of the elevator and entered the bullpen. I could still remember how it felt the first time I got here.

I walked out of the elevator and made my way to the first office on the left. I was to meet

SSA Aaron Hotchner for an interview to join the BAU. My hands were shaking, and my body was getting warmer by the second. But I remembered my father’s encouraging words. “You’re gonna do great, mia bella.”

Not only was I extremely young, but I also had a lot to live up to. Being the daughter of SSA David Stephen Rossi was no easy task. He was an amazing agent, mentor, and father. He always pushed me to be the best at everything I did. When I started high school, I decided to get a head start on my college studies and applied to dual enrollment. When I graduated I did so with a Bachelor’s in Computer Science. Then, I worked my way to a Master’s in Psychology and Social Work, and a Doctorate in Criminal Justice. At the same time, my father trained me as a profiler. All my life I knew I wanted to be in the FBI, just like him. I was always impressed at all he did and wanted to be just like my hero. The day I told him I had been recruited by the FBI and was set to work in the BAU he said it had been the greatest day of his life.

Now my shaking hand raised to softly knock on the door before me.

“Come in,” someone said from inside. The door softly creaked as I opened and was met by a tall man with dark hair and a shorter blonde woman. “Agent Rossi, welcome.”

“Thank you, it’s an honor to be here.” I smiled and shook Aaron Hotchner’s and Erin Strauss’ hands.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Agent Rossi,” Erin smiled. “Have to say, you have a very impressive curriculum and your disinvolvement in our past interviews and tests have been outstanding.”

I smiled and turned the bracelet on my wrist for comfort.

“I must concur with Chief Strauss,” said Hotch. “I believe you will be a great addition to the BAU team.”

After sharing a few pleasantries and being handed my badge and gun, I was following Hotch to the briefing room to meet the rest of the team. Formally, at least. I had heard everything about them when I spoke with my father. He left no detail out.

“Morning, everyone,” Hotchner started. “I called you all in early today so you could meet the newest addition to the team. This is Agent (y/n) Rossi.”

To the sound of my name most of the mouths in the room dropped.

“Rossi, as in David Rossi?” The slender, messy haired agent said. I could only assume that was Spencer Reid. As my father had described him, a curly mess dressed in vests.

I nodded.

“Rossi, you didn’t tell us you had such a beautiful daughter.” That would be Derek Morgan. The hottie Casanova with a silver tongue.

“I hadn’t?” My father questioned and smirked, knowing full well the answer.

“Well, he’s talked a lot about all of you,” I smiled.

“All good things I hope,” Emily smiled.

“Great things,” I returned the smile. “I could probably make out who is who by the things he’s told me.”

“Go ahead,” Aaron challenged.

“Alright,” I cleared my throat and started going around the table. “Curly hair, vests, analyzing everything I’ve done and said since I walked in… you’re Spencer Reid.”

He smiled brightly.

“Tall, dark, handsome, and a silver tongue. Plus, you checked me out as soon as the doors of the elevator opened… Derek Morgan.”

He smirked.

“Calm, cool, and collected. Quiet but present, inspecting my presence here… you’re Emily Prentiss.”

“She’s good,” Emily muttered to Morgan beside her. I continued.

“And last but not least, bright colors, fun accessories,” I said looking at Garcia. “Even though you’re smiling, you’re not sure about me yet because you don’t like change and are probably going to dig up everything you can on me as soon as you can… Penelope Garcia.”

She stiffened and Derek chuckled.

“Don’t worry, I get it. I do not like change that much either. And here,” I reached my hand into my bag to pull out a rather thick folder. “I’ll save you the work. Background check, complete internet history, social medias, and all the whatnots you would need to build a very extensive profile.”

“Oh, thank you,” she reached out her hand and grabbed the folder, smiling at the floor.

“And well, I already know Agent Hotchner and my father, so they don’t need much of an introduction.”

“No, but you do,” my father said joining my side. “Tell them a bit about yourself.”

“Well, I have a bachelor, two masters, and a doctorate degree: I’m 23, I’m Rossi’s daughter…” In the middle of my thought process dad cut in.

“She’s beautiful, she’s intelligent, and she’s the one I call when I’m stuck on a case.” I smiled.

“She also passed every test with flying colors,” Aaron added. “And her profiling skills are exceptional.”

“Thank you,” I blushed. “I think it runs in my blood.”

“Well, welcome to the team,” Aaron continued. “Let’s get to work.”

That was almost three years ago. A couple of days after, I met JJ who had visited with her newborn son Henry.

In very little time I had grown attached to this family. I was most of the time partnered with Spence and we developed an amazing bond. It did help that I loved playing chess and we could have highly erudite talks. Also, I very much enjoyed his over sharing of facts. But really, I was close to them all. On my spare time I was found watching movies with Derek and Penny, perusing book shops with Reid, having girl nights with JJ, Penny, and Emily, or sipping on top grade scotch while finishing paperwork with Hotch.

Spending time with Hotch was my favorite pastime of all.

I realized I had developed feelings for him the day he was captured by Foyet and left at the hospital. Receiving the call from Emily that she had found blood at his apartment literally knocked the air out of my lungs. Reid could tell that my reaction would not have been the same where it had been any of the other members. For some time, he had deduced my attraction to our unit chief. Once we had captured Patrick Meyers and Reid had been sent off to a hospital, we sped off to St. Sebastian Hospital. I could feel my heartbeat going faster and faster as I felt time slipping by. More than once I had asked Morgan to go faster and with sorry eyes, he told me he was going as fast as he could.

Seeing Hotch on a hospital bed, greatly hurt, broke me. I knew everyone on the team, just like Reid, had figured it out. I was the first one in when the doctor announced he was waking up. His eyes fluttered open as JJ, the last one to enter, made it in.

“Where am I?” He groggily asked.

“In the hospital,” dad answered.

My eyes could not leave his face, even as all I wanted was to imagine him in a different state. Derek told him how he made it to the hospital and Emily asked Hotch what had happened. Closing his eyes, Hotch explained step by step how everything had gone down. Upon more investigation, we quickly figured what Foyet had taken and, a page from his planner that held his ex-wife’s and son’s current address and a picture of them, respectively.

Once we had that information, the team knew exactly what to do. Emily and I volunteered to stay behind and update the team if anything changed. As soon as he went to sleep, we let out a locked breath. But the relief was short lived as his pulse started to get exceedingly fast.

“What happened?” The doctor asked.

“I don’t know,” I croakily muttered out. Emily put a hand on my back as I softly touched his arm.

“Agent Hotchner. Can you hear me?” The doctor called out. “Agent Hotchner?”

He finally opened his eyes and responded. “I’m okay.”

The doctor asked us out of the room as she checked on him and Emily helped stabilize my walk as we made it out. I saw the doctor and a nurse check him as I picked the skin of the thumb of my right hand. Emily noticed and grabbed it, knowing well of my nervous ticks. The other being closing my fist hard enough to dig my nails in it.

“He’ll be okay,” she smiled. “You know he’s a fighter.”

I softly smiled at her, not knowing if she said it for me or for her to believe it too.

Once we knew Haley and Jack were safe the three of us let out a relieved sigh. Hotch squeezed the hand I had been holding as he slept, needing the reassurance of a trusted presence next to him. He asked Emily about the scene at his apartment, but she could not give him definite answers. In a moment of silence, she excused herself to go buy coffee and I took this chance to ask him what had been going through my head.

“Do you wanna talk about what happened?” I asked worry evident in my eyes.

Sighing, he responded. “I don’t know. After he stabbed me the first time, it all goes blank.”

He looked straight into my eyes and I could tell he knew more than he let on, but now was not the time to push him. He had been drained: physically, emotionally, and mentally. In that moment, Haley walked in and I let go of his hand to leave them to talk. From outside of the room, I could hear the heartbreaking moment and knowing he was in pain shattered my heart. That day had absolutely devastated us as a team, but it only made us more determined to find Foyet and end him.

But life and work went on. The whole month he was off, I spent most of my free time helping in his recovery and his healing, using the little training I had in wound treatment. The other part of my time I spent with Reid, who was also in recovery. A far less pressing injury, but an injury, nonetheless. And he was my best friend, so I could not completely abandon him.

We were all worried about him coming back to the team with Foyet still out there, but dad reassured us he would only be more motivated. Yet the first case back, he was different. He was usually professional and understanding, now it seemed that no matter how well we worked, we would make a mistake. And when we finally tracked down the unsub and he made his way inside the house, no vest, and no gun, I knew there was something different in him. I tried to follow him inside, but dad stopped me.

“We have to trust him,” he told me. Even with those words we were all unsure of the outcome. My head was working 1,000 miles a minute coming up with different ways this could all end up in, and when I heard the gunshots, my mind only went to the darkest end. Quickly we stormed in the house and saw Hotch putting handcuffs on Darrin, and a very dead Jarvis on a recliner.

My father spent most of his time with me reassuring me that Hotch was still the same man he had been a month before. And I spent most of my time with Hotch reassuring him that he was not alone.

At the end of most cases Emily, dad, and I sat with Hotch in his office to drink a cup of scotch and unwind after a stressful day. I stayed nights overtime often and was there on the night that Strauss had landed a surprise visit to his office. The next day he became hyper focused on Derek’s work, which later he revealed to me the reason why. The bureau was questioning his leadership and he meant to step down as unit chief at the end of that week. This ended with Derek becoming active unit chief whilst Hotch was being investigated.

The days that followed were quite strange. We were used to taking orders from Hotch and now taking orders from Morgan was completely different. But business went on as usual. We worked on cases just as hard and solved them just as efficiently. With one case always hanging on us like a dark cloud. George Foyet. With every case we finished we knew he was still out there, which meant that Hotch was still hurting and hunting.

But the dreaded day had caught up to us. With the last case we had been on in Hampton we knew Foyet had found Hotch. He was taunting Hotch, dangling his life in front of him. Once he had sent us that calling card, we pressed harder on our investigation, pulling at whatever string we could find.

Thankfully, JJ pulled our medication string harder when she found out about the ability to substitute prescriptions with over-the-counter meds. We worked tirelessly and strongly to shorten the investigation part of this case. We needed to catch him, fast.

“Wait a minute, guys. Foyet likes things that have meaning to him,” I said looking at the map presented in front of us. I could see that Reid knew where I was going.

“The eye of providence, the addresses in blood he wrote on the bus that led back to him,” Spence added, and I nodded.

“Maybe he’s doing the same with his name,” I said as Reid wrote down George Foyet on the board.

“Like an anagram or something,” Emily chimed. Quickly, Reid got to work on the theory crossing out and circling letters. Adding ‘The Reaper’ onto the board and utilizing it, once Hotch had pointed out Foyet gave himself that name. He kept up this process until the name Peter Rhea came to existence.

Garcia tracked down the name and quickly found an address in Arlington. We had found him, but it was just too easy.

We were waiting outside of the apartment building for too long, waiting for something, anything. Once Morgan had given his orders, the plan was set in motion. Still, something in the back of my mind kept telling me it was too easy. We stormed the empty apartment and searched for anything that would help us find his actual location. His computer was quickly deleting files, but Garcia was better. Haley’s protection unit was in trouble.

As soon as it clicked, we were on our way to the stash house. Inside the house Marshal Sam Kassmeyer was hurt, losing blood quickly. With the little he was able to tell us we knew that Haley and Jack were in danger. Sam had not told Foyet anything, but George was smart, unfortunately. He had disguised himself as a Marshal and lied to Haley to get her where he needed her. Only him had communication with her. Everyone was on edge wanting nothing more than to find this man.

In the office we heard Hotch’s conversation with Foyet. He was working hard to buy some time for us to find him but knowing George he already had a plan set in motion. He had eyes on the pair, he was with them. I could only imagine what Hotch was going through.

“Alright, Foyet has to be in control,” Derek said, breaking me out of my thoughts. “He had Haley come to him.”

“Yeah, but where would he take her?” Spencer asked. We all started thinking and speculating. There was something in the call that told Hotch where to go. That was the key.

“Reid, what did he say, exactly?” I emphasized on the last word.

“Haley’s hair looks good dark. She’s lost some weight. It must be because of all the stress you caused her. Where’s the little man? Oh, there he is now. Do you think he likes Captain America because of you? That’s your wife on the other line. Hold, please. Hi. Open the gate and I’ll drive in.” Spencer recited in a monotone voice.

“Open the gate?” My father questioned.

“It would be someplace with the biggest emotional impact for Hotch,” I said looking down to organize my thoughts.

“And Haley has access to the gate,” Derek added, and it clicked.

“Their house,” I said. “Where they lived together.”

“Of course,” Emily said. “Foyet planned this all the way to the end. It’s everything to him.”

“He wants to take over Hotch’s house, to be in control, to prove his dominance,” I finished. We knew where he was going, and I was sure Hotch knew too and was already on his way.

On the way, Hotch got a call from Foyet’s phone. It was Hayley. I heard the emotion grabbing him by the throat. We could hear the whole conversation and my heart broke when he asked Hayley the magic words.

“Tell Jack that I need him working on the case,” Hotch breathed out. One drunken night he had told me about how he had found Jack inside a storage bench in his office after he had knocked on it. The smiling kid had told his father that he was working the case with Hotch. Hotch knew what was going to happen and so did I. This was the best chance Jack had at survival.

When Hotch told Jack to hug his mom and he said I love you, I let out a loud sob and Emily grabbed my hand tightly for support. But I was not the one that need the care. Hotch did. Haley’s words would forever be engraved in my head, and in the heads of our friends.

Three gunshots rang through the line right before it cut. Then I could not hold back the tears. I knew. I just knew.

Hotch was the first one on the scene and all I thought of was that he did not have a vest or any backup, so god knows what could have happened. For the second time in a matter of months all I could ask for was that Morgan drove faster.

At the house, Morgan was the first one in and the scene that unfolded in front of us was heartbreaking. Hotch was hitting Foyet over and over, and Derek had to hold him back. He was dead. I surveyed the scene and instinctively went to Hotch’s office, Hotch following close behind. Jack had to be there. I let Hotch walk past me and watched as relief overtook him when he lifted the lid.

“I work the case, daddy,” Jack said. Unbeknownst to everything that had happened. “Just like you said.”

“You did a great job buddy,” Hotch lifted his son out of the bench.

“What happened to you, daddy?”

“I’m okay. I want you to go outside with Ms. Jareau. Ok?” The child walked to JJ and she took him out in her arms.

And Hotch let go. He silently cried and I helped him make his way to where Haley laid. I stood by the door and turned away a police officer. Morgan stood up and squeezed my shoulder as he left the room behind the officer. I stayed outside of the doorframe, listening to the sobs of a strong man.

Next->

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traincat · 4 years

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I know that everyone is pretty sure that the FF movie will mean that Johnny will now never be officialy let out of the closet but personally I feel like since the FF are so unpopular and ppl have been bugging Marvel and Disney for an actual canon & 'important' gay character that they may just? Use him? I'm absolutely losing it and its not going to happen (and if it does, good god, its going to be handled so badly) but imagine. Tho as long as they dont bring lyja in im ill count the movie as Ok

So I am going to go Full Conspiracy Theorist out here for a minute because when I and a couple others I personally know have been kind of saying “Johnny’s never coming out now” it refers to a very specific recent incident that we were kind of side eyeing for Possible Movie Interference even before this announcement. Saying up front that I don’t know that this is true, and even if Someone Did Change The Script it’s just as likely to be comic editorial pulling the plug than Kevin Feige coming down from on high to stuff Johnny back in the closet like he’s the Plant Man and it’s the ‘60s:

And then they never let him out of there again. (Strange Tales #121)

So here’s the deal: we know that there are several creators involved with Marvel who hold the belief that Johnny Storm is not the bastion of heterosexuality he’s very often been pushed as. Marjorie Liu (and most likely Daniel Way but we only have Marjorie Liu’s word on this last time I checked) intentionally wrote the relationship between him and Daken in Dark Wolverine as sexual. When I reviewed Marvels Snapshot: Fantastic Four for Women Write About Comics I received some very nice commentary from the creators and a retweet from Kurt Busiek, who is in charge of the Snapshot collection -- and I spend the majority of that review pretty openly talking about the subtext of Johnny’s sexuality and the history that has. So like, this is out there, it goes beyond fandom circles. People know, and you can tell, because a lot of the time multiple creators don’t spend decades making jokes about a character being gay if they don’t kind of think that character is gay. (I am looking at you, John Byrne.) But anyway, fast forward. It’s 2018 and the Fantastic Four are back on the shelves after their Film Rights Mandated Banishment (that Jonathan Hickman leaked as being a Real Thing and not another conspiracy theory). And while I have some significant problems with the 2018 run so far, I have to say, that first issue starts off strong, not in the least because it also featured the return of Wyatt Wingfoot, Johnny’s best friend and former roommate. Turned current roommate again, since apparently they were living together. They were also touching a lot.

Like a lot lot. Love a boyfriend leash. (Fantastic Four v6 #1) And like, look, longtime Johnny readers can tell you all about his long relationship with Wyatt Wingfoot and the subtext you can read into it, but a lot of casual readers noticed this too. People were talking about it. It was noticed. It was pretty obviously paralleled against Ben and Alicia, who were getting engaged at the same time.

Fast forward a couple of issues, all of which Wyatt sticks around for -- he was pretty obviously living with the Fantastic Four after their return for a couple of issues there -- to Ben’s bachelor party, where he and Johnny have this particular conversation:

“When you know -- and you’ll know -- take that leap. Don’t wait fer stronger shielding. Be brave, Johnny Storm.” (FF v6 #5) There’s a lot to unpack here in general, but the “be brave, Johnny Storm” sentiment continually sticks out to me, along with how ungendered this speech is -- not when you meet the right woman, blah blah blah. It’s not a big jump to imagine this as leading out to a coming out narrative, and that’s before we factor in this solicit for Fantastic Four #7:

“Plus a strange new development in the life of the Human Torch.” If you’ve read the issue, however, you know literally nothing of note happens to Johnny in it, let alone anything you could consider a new development, strange or not. It seems pretty clear, if you pull the clues, that there was originally some kind of plot involving Johnny -- and likely his romantic future -- in the original plans but then at some point that plot got pulled and likely replaced by the current Sky soulmate plot that has literally left Johnny shackled by heterosexuality. So it’s clear that at some point in early 2019 something shifted and this Johnny plot got pulled, for whatever reason. And I have no proof beyond all this circumstantial evidence that they were lining up anything that was actually going to concretely within the actual Fantastic Four book address his sexuality, but I think given the circumstantial evidence it is a valid theory. I don’t know if I specifically believe that the reasoning behind whatever this plot getting pulled was MCU interference, but it’s likely that the Fantastic Four project was seriously in development by that point to be able to announce it now, and if, by whatever chance, my “Johnny was going to come out” theory was true, we also know that the MCU has a serious problem with actually handling queer representation within their universe -- see Tessa Thompson’s bisexual Valkyrie scene getting cut, the entire Gay Joe Russo incident. They’re, what, 20+ movies in now and there are no actual queer main characters, right? I know Eternals is apparently changing that, but Eternals is not out yet, and also has significantly less name recognition than Fantastic Four. It’s not a great record, and while I would like to think that maybe that could change either with the Fantastic Four or by the time a Fantastic Four movie rolls out, I just don’t have that kind of faith. But if I’m wrong I’ll totally donate double the cost of the ticket and large popcorn to a charity that actually deserves it.

So there’s my conspiracy theory! Some people do this with celebrities, I do it with Johnny Storm. It’s probably equally unrewarding either way.

#johnny storm #traincat talks comics #*replies #Anonymous

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sans-undertales-pussy · 3 years

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Spinel Deserved Better (very cool and swag retrospective essay/rant)

I have a lot of frustrations with how Spinel was handled and how her ending is complete and utter BS.

At the beginning of the movie, it is made absurdly clear how clingy and toxic the diamonds actions are towards steven. The lyrics are so unsettling considering the subtext. The diamonds still hardly view Steven as his own person. Despite their insistence that they know he isn't Pink, they still view him as the closest connection they have to their diseased relative and cling onto him unhealthily because of it. This is displayed to the audience as obviously wrong and creepy, and Steven leaves them quickly after. (rightfully so.)

This is what makes it so unbelievably frustrated when they show the diamonds repeating the exact same toxicity again, even using the same song with the same lyrics, but this time targeted towards Spinel. This is treated as a POSITIVE, which frustrates me to no end. Nothing has changed within the diamonds. They just found a new subject to unrightfully de-humanize and use as a coping mechanism. They don't view Spinel as a person, they view her like a happy little puppy. And Spinel, being desperate for any affection, just for ANYONE to love her, care for her, falls right into their hands. (Literally lmao)

The diamonds and Spinel are both broken people unhealthily clinging onto each other because of their own personal issues. This isn't even a self-aware thing either, considering in SUF we're shown an update on them and they don't attempt to address any of these concerns. It's complete tone deafness to an inherently and is ultimately doomed to fail artificial relationship.

Spinel isn't valued for the person she is in this situation and is ultimately put in the position she started out as. A play thing. A coping mechanism others don't truly take seriously. She's relieved to be validated to some degree, but it's kind of just the same thing Pearl went through. Artificial feelings of freedom while in reality she's just repeating her past unhealthy relationship dynamic she was born into that is holding her down from truly being able to become her best, happiest self. She was never given the opportunity to develop real, meaningful relationships. Just shoved into the diamonds hands because that's what seemed most convenient for steven who just wanted his life to be peaceful.

Spinel is doomed to tragedy because of this. Best case scenario, Spinel lives in ignorance of her tragic situation for the rest of her life. Worst case scenario, the diamonds fall back into their abusive tendencies and Spinel is put back into her nightmare of being left alone and desolate in those same punishments Pink was forced through.

Ultimately, Spinel's ending is doomed to tragedy. No one wants to help her. And she's too desperate for love to realize the situation she's in or to find the strength to leave the diamonds. And it angers me none of this was addressed in canon and how she was treated as a burden Steven quickly wanted to get rid of without thinking of the long-term consequences.

TLDR spinel deserved better than the garbage ending she got.

She could've become a clown for the boardwalk in beachcity and build relationships from there ffs. Give her a fellow clown gf smh. How dare you pair her with the garbage toxic facists sugar i will have ur head for this

#steven universe #spinel #essay #long post #ty to anyone who listens to my angry gay gem show rants i appreciate u

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gammacousin · 3 years

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Okay. I’m ready to real talk Black Widow. I don’t want to but as an activist there’s an obligation I have to share and educate. I nerd to forget but I suppose it shows the power of this movie if it brings something real into the light.

*Spoiler Warning. Trigger warning for everything.*

There are some things I want to say that could potentially spoil aspect of the Black Widow film. I also would advise you to skip this post if you have a darker past, if you aren’t interested in getting serious, or wish to skim by, I’m sincerely not judging! I come on here to avoid the universe as well. You do you, I totally still love you if you don’t read this and want to move onto something nerdy or more fun. This isn’t the post for you.

It’s taken me a while to process and organize my thoughts. Skip if you don’t want to hear deep, raw stories.

Okay. Nerd review first.

The level of girl power and any and all glass ceilings… There is SO much left to do. So much that needs to still be addressed. But seeing 3 women run this show: Yelena, Natasha, and Melina was an absolute joy to observe. This isn’t the end of some hard waged war, it’s the beginning and I beg you; Disney/Marvel. Please give us more of this? It’s so important for young girls to see other girls kicking butt and winning. Quick summary of nerd feelings; Losing Nat still burns. Yelena is a boss.

Okay…Real talk.

I have to get a little deeper here now. My personal story absolutely played into how I felt about this film and I wish I saw some trigger warnings about the material covered. Do I know Black Window’s story? Yes. In and out. I can read it, I can write my FF on it. However. Little to no one knows my story and so absolutely no one is to blame for not warning me. I was not expecting to come out this shook.

I’m sharing this because it’s happening now, today. In the real world. I doubt the film makers had this mind over other social issues, but after feeling like it’s irrelevant, that my pain is somehow less than, I’m realizing through my activism it’s not.

I grew up in a cult where women are not relevant. You matter up to a point. You are useful, to a point. If you’re giving 24/7, you’re not giving enough. If you’re not smiling as you’re doing cult stuff, you’re complacent. In addition to why I’m about to share, my house growing up was not a safe space which is a story for another time. So it’s a stack…this janga-ish game that eventually just comes crashing down.

My trigger started moments after the film started the handing over of the kids. When Alexei chooses the job over the welfare of the girls. Alexei put his two “daughters” in danger to save ‘face’. To put the job ahead of two children…it hit home. In the group I’m from, fathers, mothers, grandparents, siblings will absolutely choose the group over blood. You are nothing and you mean nothing if you ‘defect’. If you break a rule. If you complain. If you say ‘no’. If you put in a bad review for a leader, if you have anything bad at all to say about the organization as a whole. You can confide something deep in someone you trust and it absolutely will come back to hurt you.

The title song shook me completely. This collage of video and images of brainwashing, treating these girls like absolute objects is disgusting in itself. But when you’re raised in this other world, there’s a level of brainwashing that is absolutely unmatched. Videos, books, quizzes, 12 hour lectures, weekly meetings.

People are unified to the point where you lose your own identity. There’s a language- a literally language- words you start to misuse. Verbiage only people in the cult use. Kids of any age will watch any rated film. Frequently the themes are about obedience and or cooperation and the consequences if you do not cooperate/obey. Death is a such a common theme that either you become petrified of your own shadow, petrified of breathing wrong, or turn completely numb. In sharing these videos, the goal is to instill this fear that you will never be enough. That you will die- turn into a charred hot dog of a figure if you do not obey 8 white men - the leaders, in New York. That your friends, classmates, neighbors, family will die if they don’t believe what you do. That you’re held accountable if you can’t bring them to your side.

The song for the credits hit me. I cannot listen to it. I have no idea what it was about.

When I watched the film, I couldn’t focus at this point at gosh barely 15 minutes in. I had already checked out. I heard keywords. “Entertainers,” “I feel stupid and contagious…”

In my world, I did not matter. What mattered was, what was presented to the public. To your group. Meeting some checklist of this perfect family at any cost. You’re not an individual, you’re a number. Literally. Your records are documented by men in the back room- your actions, your track record. But ultimately? You’re part of a numeral equation reported to headquarters. And if you’re a woman, you do not have a say in how you look, dress, act or in what you say. You are as the title song says, …“Entertainers”. You smile. You do your job, and you are ‘happy’ about it. Your job is to dedicate x amount of hours cleaning the room you gather in, and in recruitment of other members…

There’s a ‘job’ in the cult called a “pioneer”. Okay. No, we might not have been trained assassins. But you are trained to manipulate emotionally. To prey on the weak. You get books, magazines, movies, speeches, lectures- you rarely get a free Saturday. Oh and the job isn’t paid. So make sure you’re working (part time because full time secular work isn’t acceptable) at a desk job (because college and getting an education is not allowed). Don’t make friends with the people who work with you, they’re out to get you. Back at the club; You answer questions like it’s some schoolastic quiz every week and quote what your reading. It’s a brainwashing tactic. If you say something enough times, you remember it. You start to believe it. You spend hours reading these things, training… Your job is to target people who have lost- and have lost a lot because they’re vulnerable. You learn to go to cemeteries, and literally stalk people who are grieving. Like Val. If you can catch someone when they’re weak, senses are dulled. They’re desperate. And you bait them with this false promise. This idea that all THEY have to do is change all that they are, join you, and they’ll see their dead loved ones again. That they are doomed if they don’t change. Most pioneers draft 2-4 people per lifetime. If you’re a great saleswoman, you can draft more into this horrific world. And I regret the hours I spent lying, torturing people. For some cult that doesn’t give two cents about me.

I 100% believed of I didn’t convince my classmates, neighbors, to join my side they would either turn me in or they would be killed by a divine being. From 2 years old I was supposedly handing out pamphlets. The doom is not a quick painless death, no. You have visuals. You have men getting up to talk in detail about what your ‘friends’ will look like as corpses. Visually descriptive to the point where I still feel a bit numb to it all. That you will have to bury their bodies after the whole divine destruction. That you will have to “clean up” the earth. You are numb- convinced- bullied to the point where you believe this is true.

If you’re hurt as MANY WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE, and you don’t have two people to testify and say they saw it- it never happened. Abuse is the norm. And if you speak up about it? You’re called a liar. Your friends cut you off. They think you’ll die along with everyone else if you put in a ‘bad review’ or leave. You’re bullied into submission and taught from a young age that you are not in control of your own decisions. You relinquish yourself under the pretense that the men you have such reverence toward are under some divine being’s control.

Your parents hurting you is acceptable. And don’t you dare speak against your father if he’s deeply involved. Don’t even think about approaching if he’s on a phone call. If you’re hit you take it- because you “deserved” it. And you smile. You shove that pain deep down. You hide the bruise, the cut lip, the depression, the bottles of pills you’re swallowing the whatever….You’re screwed if you faint, throw up, pass out, because you’ve missed a meeting. You better be dying for that to happen…

The idea that is portrayed in the movie (IMO) is that you can forgive family who hurts you. I see people forgiving Alexei and what’s her name. Look- that’s great. It’s a fun film. Alexei is funny. Here’s what I saw; it’s a toxic man- nay- father who can’t accept responsibility. He takes pride in what the girls have become- monsters. Not in who they are at their core. He has no idea who they are. And the mom has this photo album…I’m tearing up. She remembers this a certain way, a wishful thought. I’ve confronted my own mother about our past and had an album thrown at me, “We were happy. You were happy.” The fact is I was told the smile. You’re forcing this perception that everything was normal. That it’s okay to go back. (I’m not taking away Yelena’s view that everything was real to her, that’s fine for the sake of the story, and sweet. The moment between her and Alexei..fine. Milena turns and takes their side at the end, great.) The problem with how I saw this, is that’s not how the real world works. I don’t owe my parents forgiveness when I didn’t mean shit to them. When people leave the cult they’re cut off. Treated like they’re dead. I didn’t find these moments cute, I found them horrific. Hugging me, saying he’s proud of me is the toxic sh** my father would pull. Ignoring the holes in the wall, in my skull, the phony impression he gives to the rest of the group. Hugging me…after sweeping everything he did not only to me, but countless others under the rug because the cult…because 8 men in NY will protect him. Legally. Or otherwise.

I don’t need to forgive my parents. If you’ve been mistreated, you don’t owe anyone anything. They can “try” to do the right thing, that doesn’t somehow block out years of mistreatment. Years of trauma. Sheetrock only patches the surface of the broken walls. Wounds heal but some scars stay with you forever. Metaphorically or otherwise.

‘Entertainers’ was a trigger word because if you’re high enough in the ranking system you’re asked to “testify” or share a story. It’s in front of a couple thousand. It’s an “honor”. What it really is, is a three ring circus. You will only see women on the sidelines reading from the cards while only men stand at the main podium. They’re reading what they have told them to say. Stories are manipulated, cut, changed to fit a narrative that better suits the group of a couple thousand members.

Dreykov. I hate this. But I have to go there. I’m neck deep already, might as well. I think the worst part of all of it is that you can’t touch the person who made you this way. Those 6-7-8 leaders are untouchable. It doesn’t matter what you try. What legal entities, ex groups have tried. There’s a term for us and we are considered ‘mentally diseased.’ Members are told to avoid us. And in case you were curious, no, they can’t just break their nose on a table to be free- if only it were that simple. Gosh that got me. I would cut a limb, split my skull open, if it meant I could just cut a chord. It takes years of therapy and I still have nightmares. Urges to just, go. I’m OKAY. But most escapees are not. If you manage to escape with your life and don’t end it because the pressure, guilt, abuse that comes with leaving is too much. (This is sadly the fate of MANY LBGTQ+ members.)

The only hope is either the group eventually runs out of money or they’re taken down legally. Both of which are impossible since many older members will leave all they have to the group rather than to their family. It’s a complex billion dollar publishing company that plays monopoly with people’s investments, homes, and lives.

If you speak up, you’re the liar. So you cannot free your friends, who have turned on you, already cut you off, and discarded you the day you walked out and didn’t come back.

Watching Natasha, and Yelena free their sisters made me think of every woman who is stuck in this cult. For every woman, child, currently being sexually/physically abused and can’t say sh** because they literally believe god will kill them. If I say anything to them, they block me. If I expose what’s happening they will lie in court. That’s what is happening. And it’s not in the news, it’s not talked about. Because you can’t. You’re forced into silence. There’s a block. A literal legal force field that you cannot penetrate. They have their own lawyers. You can’t break into it. You’ll lose every, single, legal battle you try to fight.

Was this a decent movie? Yes. Was I expecting to share this days after release, no. I’ve been forced into silence for so long, told that people have it far worse and that I shouldn’t talk about it. But just today I saw a grown ass couple in an escapee group, talking about how one trigger word sent them into a depressive spiral. Wondering if some god damn lightening will come out of the sky and knock them dead. And we frickin struggle in silence. People will just shrug and go “oh it can’t be that bad,” while my gay best friend can’t catch an effing break. While someone else suffers at home because god wants it that way. Someone else will bury their kid today, maybe not even hold a funeral for them if they were ‘mentally diseased.’

For people like that couple I met today, like me, if you don’t just see a fun film but a darker past or maybe it’s brought up some memories for you, I’d honestly love to chat!!! Message me! I feel like for as painful as this is to hash out not too many people know about what goes on behind a group of smiling, well dressed woman who come knocking on your door. “It’s just a religion.”

I guess I didn’t realize…the criminal aspect of what happened to me. You’re so ingrained to keep quiet. To smile. To ignore, to suppress. I can smile, joke laugh, but visualizing…inadvertently seeing this mirror was so unbelievably uncomfortable. I would always rather help someone else because it takes me out of my head. Live in a bubble where I can call my trauma a ‘fantasy’. What’s real is when someone like me has a bad day? Lol! Look, my husband literally checks his phone to make sure a conversation never touches a couple hundred trigger words that will absolutely send me into the closet with a gallon of ice cream or a bottle of whiskey. I can’t imagine what someone else, what some other traumatized individual goes through. (Maybe that’s why the Bucky stuff makes me all angry She-Hulk too..)

Look, talking people ex members of this group, out of suicide is a daily endeavor to the point where it’s borderline on autopilot. But having this, I suppose, brilliant, piece of cinema turn the camera around left me raw and writhing and angry. Not for me, but for everyone else still stuck. With every year you spend in that cult, add ten more to therapy.

If you feel like me at all, you’re not alone. Not anymore. We were raised to feel alone in the world. That the universe is somehow out to get us and that’s simply not true. You don’t need the people who raised you if they were absolute shit bags. And you DO NOT have to forgive them for keeping you in that environment. Family isn’t family if they’ve hurt you. You owe them nothing. It is healthy to feel your feelings (and you and your feelings are valid. )

Anyways! I hope to be able to talk about more fun Marvel topics soon. But this felt important so thanks for listening. I’m really not hating guys, this is just…it’s heavy. And I beg you to do your research into cults and to help out where you can.

Love and light,

-M

#black widow film #black widow #cult #cult life #cult escapee #ex jw #apostate #mcu #jw #jwfamily #jwfacts #marvel

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madsdefencesquad · 3 years

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How confident are you that Kevison is endgame? Did the season finale change your confidence level? I still think Madison makes the most sense as his endgame, but the writers are always bringing Sophie back and it's annoying and worries me. 😣😩

A bajillion? My non-number percentage hasn't changed, anon. In fact, this finale has solidified even more that they're going to be endgame.

If I were to address some of the more particular reasons as to why I'm even more sure that they're endgame it's these:

They're literally following Jerry Maguire to a T and Kevison is in the breakup stage now. And we know that the resolution to that movie is Jerry realising he's in love with Dorothy. In the same way, Kevin will realise it too for Madison. The End(game).

Character development. Most of the general audience's gripe about Madison as Kevin's endgame is her lack of growth or development. She was seen mainly as the comedic side character with seemingly no importance to the story apart from Kate's best friend. Well lo and behold, HERE'S HER TRAGIC BACKSTORY B*TCH (!!!)

Chemistry. Controversial and of varying opinions here, of course, but for those in the general audience who were wanting to see that chemistry that they're after to truly root for Kevison, well, here's a 5 second clip of them in the flash forward to prove that what you've been wanting has always been there all this time, and that Justin and Cait can most definitely deliver, AND THEY WILL, in the "right" time. I say "right" time because the way they've structured this is shiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Sophie. No character development? Check. Doesn't have her own individual arc or story outside of childhood/first love, cheating? Check. Doesn't have any interaction with any other Pearson and/or character apart from Kevin? Check. Hasn't been called family by any of the Pearson or been told straight up that they like her? Check. Wanted to avoid the Pearsons in general after getting back with Kevin whereas Madison's all my best friendship with Kate over everything? Check.

I could go on and on with this list, but there is nothing there for Sophie to root for to be Kevin's endgame unless they want to toss in a last minute, undeserved ending for who? For the last bit of fans all hung up on childhood romance? Yeah, no ma'am.

The writers bring back Sophie because she's Kevin's "longest" romance and against Zoe, who doesn't want children, and Cassidy who has a family of her own, she's the most convenient and the only one who could really pose as a "threat" to Madison.

I say "threat" because who are we actually kidding here? She really is nowhere near. In fact, it's become comical how much the writers are trying to play this out by leaving these loose-ends when honestly, we're all tired and just want to move on already.

We don't faaaaaaacking care anymore about this but since they still want to play this damn game, then Sophie will show up and make annoying noises until Kevin explicitly tells Madison that he loves her and is in love with her. But even then, kophie shippers are probably still gonna find a way to argue that they're endgame. B*TCH IT'S CALLED FANFICTION WRITE ONE FFS

#anyway I don't mean to be rude at the end there I'm just SICK anon I'm SICK of the ridiculousness of this all lol #but yeah kevison's endgame #I'll make a bigger post later on with all the new stuff this season but for now #this it #this is it #this is kevison #kevison endgame #kevison #kevin and madison #thanks for the ask anon!!#rain down your thoughts <3 <3 #anon #ask

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bisluthq · 3 years

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i hate how you don't know how to interpret things and just say that shit, she didn't say he taught politics but he showed that it was important for her to express her publisher, not unlike the shit you're congratulating harry for doing, remember? that you said you think it's great that he doesn't express himself

Okay bitches let’s go.

Let us address Harry before those weaned at the milky tit of Insta infographics call me a misogynist. Harry Styles is… how do I put this nicely… a himbo. If we laugh about the fact that Joseph had to like fuck politics into Taylor, we need to laugh double as hard at the fact that model Camille Rowe had to teach Harry to read. You think I joke, but no, he was literally like “I didn’t read but my ex did so I had to make an effort.” We could think this was Harry exaggerating, but evidence says not because she made him read her favorite wanky dystopia and the entirety of his takeaway was “hehe pussy.” Harry Styles makes Taylor’s media interpretation seem PhD level.

He’s also… kinda not promising to be anything else lmao he’s a sweet little himbo who’s having fun dancing around stage singing about bananas and making eyes at his girlfriend. He’s like “wouldn’t it be better if we treated people with kindness?” and dances around with flags and hires marginalized people onto his staff and is nice to them and gives them opportunities.

That’s the bar for Harry - he’s said he’s not baiting, he’s not an activist, he’s just a himbo having fun and entertaining people and he’s not, you know, an asshole.

In a Miss Americana and Lover era free world, all this could apply to Taylor (except you know bimbo not himbo and better at reading). But Taylor made a movie that contained the following plot line: I was a young girl in the industry, it chewed me up and tried to spit me out, but I got through it and what I realize now is it’s the job of entertainers to spotlight social issues and politics. Let’s get something straight: THAT IS NOT THE JOB OF ENTERTAINERS. Entertainers need to entertain. We can enjoy art made by anyone on the political spectrum, from like left to apolitical to kinda basic conservative (I mean don’t consume like… art from Nazis but y’know like Carrie Underwood’s fine). But TAYLOR said “I realize this is my job here”.

She also put out an album and an era so… gay… the internet thought she was coming out. And she’d said you know “gay pride makes me me” so like to her that was reflective of the era and in fact she thinks it’s a core identity. If she’s straight that… makes her stupid, and a bad ally, there’s no other words to describe it. We’ve been through this stuff before let’s not rehash it.

In said album she included MAAHBP which is a beautiful love story but again isn’t very clever as a political commentary because similar to what I was saying before in other comments like… what the fuck does her Heartbreak Prince have to do with her social awareness or sadness about politics? And she’s linking him in directly to the official political song. Homeboy can’t even vote in your country how’s he painting the town blue with you?

It’s perfectly valid to say - talking to people changed my mind on politics. Chelsea Peretti says openly that Jordan taught her half the shit she knows and she’s gonna have to keep learning for her kid(s). I understand that. Lena Dunham - ffs - says openly that her sibling and now like Tommy have educated her on gay and trans issues. I understand that. What I don’t understand is how Joseph Matthew Alwyn of Crouch End, a sweet and well meaning and decently read (I suspect better in fiction than theory tho) man who did not know about Harriet Tubman until he was sent the script for the movie, was educating Taylor on American politics. I hear some people going “NO SHE JUST TALKED TO HIM ABOUT IT!!!” but do you see how STUPID that is? What would he say that would like profoundly impact one’s point to such a degree that you’d feel you need to be an activist now?

Anyway, Taylor put out Lover and MA and Only The Young and the VF interview when she thought she was going to the Oscars and then she went back to singing pretty bops and winning at capitalism and fudging Grammy rules.

And I’m sorry but that’s… kinda shitty. And I still think she’s a nice person and a sweet person and a kind person and an extraordinarily talented person but what I’ve outline above goes beyond being sheltered. Dudes, she made YNTCD with two straight white men. You know why she made the VMAs give everyone awards? Because otherwise it would have been two straight/“straight” white people on stage being like “yay gays we gave you your rights!!!” You don’t have to go to college to understand that if you’re gonna make a gay song you should involve gay songwriters and producers and directors. That should be like step one.

But here’s also the case - feelings about someone can be complicated. I can be like “🙄🙄 dumbass” and still enjoy the person’s music and public persona even which is the case here but ffs nothing in her brain besides music and making money sometimes like dudes fr.

And no faves are above reproach - again, if you don’t like Harry’s whole deal because it doesn’t really go anywhere that’s fair. If you don’t like Carrie Underwood because she’s, you know, a right leaning anti-masker lol, that’s fair. My issue with Taylor versus the two of them is Harry and Carrie know who they are and Taylor didn’t seem to. And yeah maybe it’s her whole aging out of order and she had her college era “YES POLITICS” thing that a lot of us go through on main in front of millions and at 30 but like you’d hope someone around her would have suggested steering clear of that idk.

#nat talks tay’s politics #nat talks miss americana

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butmakeitgayblog · 3 years

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Hi! I'm warning you, this message might be very long, so sorry in advance. 😂

And it won't be grammatically correct (not an English person here 😂), so I'll try to be as clear as possible.

So, a few days ago I saw that some of you were searching for Hedatu (thank you very much for that btw 😁) and I was thinking about those ff that are incomplete or deleted from Ao3 or other archives. Then my thought evolved into another consideration: ff are a form of art (yours indeed, no doubt, I love them with every part of my fan-heart).

(Your job involve art as well if I remember correctly so you know this world better than me 😂) I was thinking about other ff that I can't read anymore and I thought:"maybe, just like Hedatu, these ff are in someone' computers, someone saved them and somewhere there is a way to find them."

But then another thought poped up in my mind. I don't know if you know about EffortlesslyOpulent situation. It was a pretty big thing back at the end of last year. I loved their ff, I read them multiple times and they gave me comfort in tough situations. I was very far from home when I started reading them and they gave me pure joy.

So when the "big reveal" happened I was really sad, sad for Sam, for everything they went through and I was sad because a part of myself, the one that enjoyed those ff where really disappointed in liking something from a person like that (not Sam of course).

During these last few months I thought about searching those ff, but I always renounce 'cause I don't want to give attention to a person that doesn't deserve it. I admit though that I miss them, I miss the feeling I felt when I was reading them and the joy they gave me.

So (and here is the core of this plethora of words) what do you think about art and artist? Do you think that there is a way to divide the art from the artist or it's impossible? I have an idea but because I discussed this matter with other people that have different opinions, I would like to know your point of you.

Thank you very much for your time. 😊

This is a tough question and I'm going to try and give a thoughtful answer here.

(Under the cut cuz it's kinda long)

I'm going to preface this by saying, my opinion is as biased as anyone else's. There's a lot of artists I learned about that truth be told were fucking awful people, so I've learned personal ways to maneuver through that. There is no right or wrong answer to this IMO, so take it all with a grain of salt.

I'm not going to go into the subject of EO but I still stand by everything I said both publicly and privately to Sam back when they came forward about their experience and what they went through, and I wish them all the best. I believe victims and EO tap danced her ass right off into the ether without a word so 🤷‍♀️ here we are.

That aside, it's ok to feel torn. We form attachments to pieces of media because these things are meant to evoke emotional responses. I get a little annoyed with people who shame others for liking work done by people who suck, personally, but in the same breath I do know where they're coming from. Because they don't want to uplift or support a person who is a literal POS, and when it comes to things like racists, homophobes, abusers, etc it makes it all the more visceral in not wanting to support them and denounce their successes.

For me, I'd say go on a case by case basis and what feels right to you. It's ok to still love a piece of media despite coming to learn new things you didn't previously know. Perfect example, Harry Potter. I think JKR can choke on a fist, but I still grew up with those books. People can point out the very problematic issues in the series that I recognize now as an adult, but still appreciate them for what they were to me then and the feeling of nostalgia of a younger me they bring. Those two things are not mutually exclusive no matter how much internet culture tries to make these things cut and dry.

If that were the case, very few classically loved artists, art pieces, authors, or literary pieces would/should be popular anymore. Very few movies would ever be allowed to be enjoyed more than a year later and tv shows should never be rerun again. You can address and callout bullshit and shitty behavior/people where it's due without punishing other people or yourself for still enjoying a certain thing that's linked to them.

Once a piece of media is put out in the world, the artist/writer does, to a certain extent, relinquish their ownership of it. People create attachments and feelings toward them, they create opinions and thoughts and a plethora of other things that the creator has no control over anymore. That story or art now lives in the world at large and is consumed and becomes a part of other people's lives. So those feelings you have about that story have little to do with the author at this point, and more to do with you as a person and your own life experiences from the past. Does that make sense?

Tl;dr I think you can remove the artist from the art in certain places, but whether or not you're actively supporting a person you know is shitty in the moment, that's a personal choice. And I don't think past media that hold nostalgic aspects necessarily count

#anon

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