#its all stitches and scarring down there anyway

[pending-trans-action-2]

"Uhh sweetie? Are you *sure* you're not intersex?" - My bf, when I finally let him play with my girlcock

[vanessaedp]

141 + König reacting to you taking off your mask.

taking off ur bally 😜😜✌️✌️😗😗🫶🫶

warnings: fluff, british slang 😛

FLASHING GIF WARNING

___

Price

He had known the reason why you wore a balaclava and if he's honest. He hadn't ever expected you to take it off.

That was until today.

It was a simple mission really, do some fancy dress up party and poison the target.

However, to get into the party you need to have a partner

So, you and Price partnered up and went to the party as a fake couple. You wore a simple red dress and he wore a tuxedo.

The day before the mission he approached you. "Planning to paint your mask to match the dress, Sergeant?" He joked.

"No sir." You shake your head. "Actually, I wasn't going to wear it at all but now that you say that I might have another idea." You scoff at Price's dissapointed expression.

On the day of the mission you and Price are sat in a vehicle, he's running through the mission with you and take your mask off.

His look alone sent shivers down your spine. You expected him to look at you with horror or disgust but to your suprise he looked at you with admiration.

"Bloody hell, your beautiful, sarge." He said, his voice raspy and his throat dry.

"Don't get too excited, captain." You laugh.

Ghost

You and Ghost had some things in common.

You both were traumatised at a young age and you both wore masks.

He cared for you somewhat. Like how he cared for Soap

Except he liked you more.

During this mission it hadn't gone well. You had a bullet graze the side of your head and now you were splayed across the concrete floor with Ghost surrounded by mangled metal.

"Wheres the bleeding?" Ghost checked everywhere.

"My head." You mutter, turning your head to show a dark patch on your mask.

"May I?" Ghost's fingers hooked under your mask as if he was going to rip it off anyway.

You furrow your brows and roll your eyes. "It's not like I have a bloody choice, i'm bleeding to death you tosser."

Ghost grumbles something under his breath before peeling the mask off and placing it beside your head.

You swear you see his eyes widen the teeny tiniest bit. His eyes trail down your face for a split second before setting on your bleeding skull. "Right.." He says with a sigh, his voice hoarse.

"Enjoying the view?" You scoff, wincing when he starts treating your wound.

"You wish." He mumbles, his gaze flickering down to your face and lingering there for a few seconds.

Soap

You and Soap had been dating for 3 years. Not once have you taken your mask off.

He doesn't mind but all he wants is for you to trust him.

Soap allowed to stay off while you were recovering from a near-death experience. His left arm was hanging on by a thread after being abushed in a mission. He survived and is now on drugs so he can handle the pain.

You visited after his deployment to see how he was. He acted like a drunk man when he saw you, probably from the drugs.

"Who the feck are you..?" He slurred, his head lolling to one side. "My girlfriend won't be happy to see this.." He mutters.

You giggle and take a seat beside his bed. "I am your girlfriend, Johnny." You look down at his leg. It's stitched neatly. You grimace for a moment. You can handle all the gore in the world but your boyfriends? Now thats a different story.

You hear his heartbeat monitor pick up. "You wha?" He asks, his voice higher pitched and his brows raised.

"I'm your girlfriend." You slowly place a hand on his face.

"Fucking hell." He mutters, his eyes wide. "Are you sure? I'm abit of a twat." He shuffles, trying to sit up however you place a hand on his chest and push him back down.

"If I wasn't your girlfriend would I do this?" You hesitantly lift your mask up and lean close, kissing his cheek. You do this because he'll probably forget about it but its precious to see his reaction anyway.

"Fuck me sideways." He says under his breath, looking at you with admiration. His eyes stare at your eyes then the little scar on your left eyebrow. Then the burn scar shaped like a cross. Presumably from a branding iron. He then stared at your lips. He licked his then spoke.

"Can you do that again? But on my lips this time."

Gaz

"Listen i'm so sorry.. I don't even know how this happened I swear i'll fix it." Gaz protested. He accidentally ripped your mask while in a sparring match, thankfully you covered your face before anyone else saw.

"Gaz, it's fine." You say a little sarcastically. Sure, you were pissed he had ripped your only mask but he offered to fix it so there wasn't much point in being annoyed with him. "I want it fixed by tomorrow."

"Of course. I promise it'll be fixed." He even pinky swore on it.

After a long 12 hours of being in your room without letting anyone in with fear that they will see you without your mask you hear a knock at the door. "Gaz?"

"I've got your mask. Can I come in." He asks, twisting the door knob.

"Alright.." You mumble and sit up. Watching the door open and Gaz step in, he shuts it behind him and stops dead in his tracks when he sees you.

"Christ." He swallows hard. "You don't really need this mask, do you? It's only a silly balaclava." He waves it around.

"Kyle give it here." You hold your hand out and Gaz sighs, walking up to you and handing it over. He visibly tenses up when your hand brushes against his.

"So does that mean you'll wear it less around me?" He sounds excited, his eyes fixed on your face as you slipped the mask back on.

"Don't get your hopes up, mate. Thanks for fixing it though." You stand up and give him a wink, hitting his shoulder playfully.

König

"Jesus christ how do you wear your hood for so long." You sigh, blowing raspberries through your lips and lifting the bottom of your mask up to let some air through.

It was a heatwave at the base and you were MELTING

"Mine's baggy. More airflow." König stared down at you, his arms folded across his chest. "Why don't you take it off?"

"Fuck off you manky wank-stain." You laugh, shaking your head. "Bloody hell." You whine, the heat irritating you.

"I have a spare hood if you want it, liebe." He offered. "Come." He gestures for you to follow him and you do. He takes you to his room and he rumages through his drawer, tossing you a shirt with two holes in it.

"The bloody hell is this?" You giggle, looking at the massive shirt. "Your a size.. XXL?" You look at the tag.

"Just put the shirt on, selbstgefällig." He rolls his eyes which widen when he sees you take your mask off. It was truly a beautiful sight. Your cheeks pink and flushed from the heat, some strands of hair stick to your forehead. It was all interrupted when you slipped the shirt over your head.

"Schatz.." He mumbles. "Your very pretty, you know. You don't need it." He holds his head low.

"Thank you, König thats very kind of you." You smile under the shirt and adjust it. "Thanks for the hood aswell." You step forward and cup where you think his face is from under the mask. "I'll wear this more often."

You leave the room, leaving König flustered, flabbergasted and head over heels in love.

___

here u go pookies come here and kiss me

[burstinn]

KÖNIG x FTM! READER

NSFW

Warnings nd Notes:

This was a request by a friend

(FtM reader who its their first time having sex. With König, König being a soft Dom)

Nsfw

Sex (18+) no minors

Gets lazy at the end

Short beginning at the end, rushed it as well

Reader is a bottom

It's König.. Again..

Did not add the size kink I read it to late when I rechecked the request

König never really knew you much, he never really understood you. You're not much of a show off person, you mostly keep your gear on. He's not judging all respects to you, he understands people like that.

That was not until you were sent on a mission together, and it went south.. Well for you anyway, your team got what they want. In expense getting you hurt in the process, and König was the only one who was close to you that can help.

So you radio him your location. Somewhere remote behind some rubble and tree. He saw you.. Your gear is off. And, maybe this was disrespectful but God. You looked so.. He didn't know how to put it, well he couldn't he had to snap out of it just to help you with your injuries.

He quickly rushed over to you, not wanting to comment about how you look. Or your.. Top surgery scars. He knew what those are, so he immediately understood why you usually don't take off your gear around anyone or how you usually don't speak much.

"Can you not tell.. Anyone about this?"

König hears you softly mutter as he finishes up your stitches. Silently eyeing you, then back to your chest.

"I won't.."

He replies back, handing you your bloodied gear which you forced yourself to wear.

That's when he started getting.. Interested in you. His own curiosity slowly flourishing into attraction towards you.

He would always find an excuse to hang out with you and it's not like you didn't notice, you're not dumb. Eventually, you did start to warm up to him. Letting yourself be, and finally confessing yes you are transgender on which he readily accepted you.

°°°

Which brings you to right now.

When you and König were joking around König suddenly brings up some sex or like sex stories or something.

Then you confessed to König, that you.. Are a virgin. Hard truth but yeah.. You felt slightly embarrassed.

"I.. Don't have any stories, König I never had-"

"You never slept with anyone..?"

"Yeah"

°°°

The soft creaking of the bed contrasting, your loud moans it reverberating throughout the walls of the room.

You whine digging your nails deep on the sheets of the bed.

Burying your head on the tear stained pillow, crying and gasping out.

You laying on your stomach, squirming under König. His length slowly inching himself inside of you. Whispering small praises and assurance in German and English that goes unheard by you, feeling yourself getting high off Königs cock already.

It hurt but fuck it felt good

You knew König was trying hard to be gentle with you, even if he did want to chase his own pleasure. But, No he focused on yours.

His thick cocks pushing down inside your soft squelching hole.

You thought you could handle it really, you prepared yourself. All that was thrown out by your incessant loud muffled whines.

His rough heavy arms slowly moving up and down your waist, pulling you slowly deeper into his cock.

"Shh.. It's alright, you're okay. You're doing so well"

"Mein maus, just breath.."

You couldn't even answer if you wanted too, opening your mouth only led to more choked out cries looking out of your mouth.

König bends over trailing his hand along your back his hand slowly reaching your neck.

His hot breath sticking to your neck, making your breath hitch in arousal. The hand on your neck moves to your mouth, shutting out your wails of pleasure.

"Es tut mir leid.. Bitte, keep it down please-"

Königs voice just as shaky as your trembling body everytime he pushes his hips forward, hitting that bundle of nerves that makes you arch your back, letting you see stars.

"Just.. Just a little bit, I'm close"

He whispers, his soft lips suckling on the soft skin of your neck. His pace slightly picks up just so he can finish faster, his actions getting more sloppy by how much close he is. He wants to cum badly..

He doesn't even mind that your getting louder to the point his hand covering your mouth almost has little effect. More tears coming out of you, one of his hand on your hip trying to keep you mouth the other on your mouth.

"That's it good boy, gut, Haah--.. So good for me"

König gasps out

The back of his balls already hitting the rear of your ass, but he doesn't stop, opting to go in and out of you. The grip on your hips and mouth tightening every time his dick pushes back inside of your tight hole.

He whines, resting his head on your shoulder, Struggling to hold himself to start fucking you senseless,stoppinghimself to just lift up your lower half and just use you as a fuck hole.

He's close, so close.

"Liebe, are.. Are you close?"

You weakly nod, clenching your hole around his hard soppy dick only makes him want to fuck you harder like no tomorrow.

"Alright.. Alright.. We'll finish together.."

He breaths, fucking in and out of you fast but gently. Removing his hand out of your mouth to focus on you until youre ready to cum. Well it doesn't take long anyway, virgin.

"König.. König! I'm going to-- I'm gonna"

You didn't need to say anything more. He pumps his dick inside of you one last time lifting your ass before he spurts inside of you. While you cum on the sheets on Königs legs as well. As you both groan in satisfaction and relief.

He stays inside of you for a moment, before pulling out slowly. Drips of his cum seeping out of your hole, he gets off you lying right next to you. Both you and his chest breathing heavily from what just transpired. He tilts his head to you, him staring at your puffy face. His tired face frowns slightly in guilt.

"I'm sorry.. Did it hurt? I should've.."

"Shut up.."

You respond shifting your body weight to just move closer to him.

"You did.. Great"

Mumbling as you kiss König on his lips, laying back down beside him as he just stares dumbfounded for some reason. Quickly recovering he smiles to himself, hugging you.

Now you both fell asleep, nice slumber haha, a good fuck and some fluff hahah I'm going to bed. (I lied I'm not going to bed.. I'm just lazy)

[buckysbabygorl]

Punching Bag (Bucky Angst)

Summary: As much as Bucky can't stand Y/N, he's tired of her taking all the blows on the field. They have to come up with a plan.

Word Count: N/A

“Get your hands off me.”

She shoved him away, as best she could given her state.

“I can do it myself.”

She took the med kit from his hands, in her drunken stupor she stumbled to the dining table, fumbling with the latches on the case.

Bucky was tired. All he wanted to do was sleep after a long—god awful---day and put the mission behind him.

He dropped his mission bag at the doorway.

“All you’re going to do is make it worse. I don’t need you waking up tomorrow complaining about your drunken hack job.”

She glared at him, pulling out supplies.

“Sober or not, I can stitch myself up fine. Just because I’m not an army vet doesn’t mean I don’t know basic field medics.”

She mumbled something more under her breath; probably dick or asshole, some of her common artillery when insulting him.

He didn’t need this. He really didn’t need this right now. Today had been hard, and for Bucky that was saying something. Whether it was being back in Russia, during its coldest and iciest period of the season; or being stuck with the person he loathed the most, he wasn’t sure what had triggered him.

But he was on edge and exhausted, and he wanted this night to end.

Then she had to go and get stabbed of all things, and now this dark hour was dragging on and on and on...

It was then Bucky realized that this sad excuse of a safe house would not give him enough space from her. It was a bachelor style apartment, something small enough that would never catch the eye of enemies, tucked away in an complex that was filled with much more shady individuals that them. There was a kitchenette, a dining table with two chairs, and a couch that pulled out. There was also a rickety old rocking chair, which looked far from comfortable.

This night wouldn't get any shorter.

“Ow.”

She stabbed her self softly with the needle, swaying slightly as she tried to stablize herself.

“Jesus Christ," Bucky said, "did you even wash your hands?”

“Fuck you.” She retorted.

His jaw tensed as he stopped himself from raising his hands, he wanted to tear his hair out strand by strand.

Why was she always so fucking argumentative?

“Would you stop saying that?”

He strode across the room, kneeling in front of her chair and grabbed her arm.

She attempted to pull away from him, which was stupid to do with a needle in hand.

“Let go.” She demanded.

She pulled back, hard, and Bucky gripped her forearm.

“Will you just—enough.” His voice stern and commanding.

She halted, slightly hazey and swaying. But she stopped.

Bucky let out a frustrated sigh.

“For once, can you just shut up and listen? For five seconds, can you do that?”

She blinked slowly at him, pursing her lips.

He recognized that look in her eye; it was always followed by a sly grin, a tilt of her head that said “what are you gonna do about it, Sergeant?”

This time, she slumped back into her chair. She relaxed her arm and used the other to shove the kit towards him.

“Fine. Do your worst. I don’t give a shit if you leave a scar.”

He waited a moment, to see if she’d say something more or change her mind, maybe smack his hand away one more time.

But she didn’t.

So Bucky picked up the needle and went to work.

She didn’t look at him while he stitched her up, remaining in her dead stare as she looked straight at the wall.

She winced a few times but said nothing.

After a few minutes, the quiet made Bucky’s skin itch.

“Why did you jump at her, anyways? I had it covered.”

Y/N closed her eyes, inhaling through gritted teeth.

Responding wasn’t worth the effort, so she shrugged.

“Really? You’re not going to say anything?” He asked.

She groaned. “Does it matter? Not like I can do anything about it now.”

He shook his head, continuing as if he hadn’t heard her. “--And downing a bottle of tequila won’t make you feel better.”

She bit the palm of her hand as he worked his way along her side.

Her breaths stuttered as she inhaled.

“Hurts less.” She mumbled.

He paused a moment.

He remembered what that felt like. How much these kind of things could hurt you. He could imagine the pain she was going through, he could see it in her face. But he tried to ignore it. He was still mad at her.

“I don’t get you. You do this every time, you’re not invincible you know—”

She slammed her hand on the table.

“I know that! Jesus, you tell me every time—AH!”

She pulled away from him, hurting herself as he had tightened a stitch.

He looked up as his hands steadied her, and his voice softened.

“Y/N, sit still...”

Her head was turned away from him, but he could still see the corner of her eye and the downturn of her lip.

He hadn’t realized she’d been crying.

He tilted his head down, biting on the inside of his cheek. Best to just get this over with.

“Just… sit still. I’m almost done.”

They fell into silence again. The winter snow was building up on the safe house windows, the wind pounding against the panes.

He tried to shut it out. But it was either listen to the howling storm or rehash the scenario in his brain.

Her voice came over his ear piece, she told him to watch his six; that agents were entering through the south wing of the building. He ignored her, he had it covered.

She must’ve taken his silence the wrong way; she figured he was in danger. She was like that, she’d assume the worst and abandon her post to cover. Fuck, why did she have to do that…

“Did you get a hold of Sam?”

Surprised by her question, Bucky looked up from his hands. She still wouldn’t turn to face him.

“Called him while I was walking back. Said he can get a jet in a 4 am. With the storm it’s hard to get here—”

She winced again. He groaned.

“Stop moving.”

She awed at the ceiling and clenched her hand into a fist.

“My god, would it kill you to have some sympathy?”

He tied off the suture and snipped the thread.

“I don’t have sympathy for idiocy.”

She scoffed, “Fuck you.”

Which she had said for the umpteenth time today.

He decided to ignore it. But he was still fuming, still angry at her… why, why would she do that?

He should’ve watched his six, he knew he should’ve.

They came up behind him, 4 out of the 6 agents had decided to cover his wing.

He was holding his own, but the one was smart. Patient. Waiting while the others hammered Bucky with brute force to deliver a fatal blow. She had been aiming for his right side, probably trying to stab between his right ribs or his into his spine…

“You know, normal people say thank you.” He nodded to her left side, where 10 stitches sat neatly in line.

“I could say the same thing to you.” Her words were icy, she nearly spat them at him.

Bucky scoffed. “Why should I thank you? I had it covered, you jumped in and now I have to patch your drunk-ass up—”

“I did it because it’s instinct. I saw my partner outnumbered and I saved your ass. Sorry it’s an inconvenience to you because I’m not a goddamn super soldier.”

The slam of his hand on the table made her jump, and her eyes went wide at the thought that he might actually make her shut up for once.

"You can't throw yourself in a fight where you'll get more hurt than I will."

His eyes faltered when he looked at her, "We... we talked about this Y/N--"

Silence fell between them again.

She fumbled with the bottle cap on the table, and Bucky stood still at her side.

He didn't know what more to say, and she didn't know how to respond.

Because he was right, they had talked about this before many times.

There were never tender moments between the two, but the closest they'd ever gotten to something like that was usually Y/N's recovery. They were paired together more often than not; aside from them loathing one another, they were extremely compatible.

But each time they teamed up, something like this happened.

Y/N would get stabbed, she'd get shot, she'd break a bone or two, she'd pick a fight that was out of her depths.

He'd get mad and so would she, then a day or two would pass and he'd watch her struggle with something. Whether it was taking the stairs, or doing her physio, or getting back into training...

Somehow they'd end up alone and they fell back into this same conversation.

You can't always put yourself at risk for me, I know you're skilled but there's situations where you need to be more careful.

She'd sit with it, and usually come back with the same response.

I know you're capable of taking more than most people, but it doesn't mean you get to be a punching bag. If my partner is in trouble, I'm going to step in.

There was never a solution made, because he was the immovable object and she was the unstoppable force.

In short, they were both too stubborn and too proud.

Normally, she wouldn't bring it up. But feeling brave, or drunk enough to be brave, she did.

"We're going around in circles, Barnes."

She didn't look up from the table, but he continued to stare.

"We can't fight about this every single time we go on a mission. We've requested to be separated, and that's not happening. So tell me what the fuck you want me to do, because I'm not just gonna take a seat every time it gets ugly."

He sighed, "What I'd like you to do is not be an idiot out there--"

"Hm," She took another drink, "And I'd like you to stop being an asshole."

His jaw clenched again. Every time with this girl...

"Do you not see where I'm coming from?" He gestured to her ribs, "Look at you, Y/N. How many scars is that now? From our missions alone?"

She shook her head, fiddling with the cap.

"I don't know Barnes, that's not the point."

She did know, it was nine now.

"The point is I'm not going to change my mind and neither are you. So figure it out with me instead of fighting me every chance you get. Pick a different fucking solution."

It seemed Bucky couldn't stop sighing, he wanted to walk away from this night and be done with it. But he knew they'd be back in this position a month from now, and a month after that, and so on.

So, begrudgingly, Bucky sat down at the table.

"Fine. If you won't stop being reckless--"

"--And you won't stop being a dick--"

He pointed at her, "Okay first. Stop doing that. I get you're frustrated but you swear at me a lot. I hate it. It feels like you try to pick a fight."

She went to speak, but all she could think of were insults involving curse words. He'd proven his point.

Her lip curled in a scowl, "Fine."

He nodded. "Okay."

She shifted to sit with her arms crossed on the table, eyes flicking up to him.

"Stop telling me I'm an idiot. And stop saying I'm reckless. You think it's reckless 'cause I'm not Steve or Thor, or whoever else was enhnaced on the team... just because I'm not like you guys doesn't mean I'm being stupid when I'm out there."

God, he wanted to fight her on that.

Different capabilities meant different actions in certain situations, at least in his eyes.

But he kept it to himself, at least they were starting to work on something.

"Okay..." He drew out the word, subtly saying he wasn't okay with it, but Y/N didn't care.

He could think what he wanted, but he didn't get to throw it in her face every time he wanted.

"I can't control what you do on the field." Bucky started, "You make your own calls and you... you know what you're doing out there."

Y/N smirked at the look of pain on Bucky's face, she know he hated to admit it. But she was damn good at her job.

"--but if there's a situation that I think you need to stay out of, respect me when I ask."

"What if I think I can handle it?" She questioned.

He lifted his hand off the table slightly, halting her to let him finish.

"If I need you, I'll tell you."

She rolled her eyes, "So I'm supposed to wait until my coach puts me in?"

His fists balled in frustration. "No, I'm saying be there but..."

He leaned back in his chair, looking up to the ceiling.

"I don't know, maybe we have a call sign when we both need each other."

He said that to appease her, he didn't think there would ever be a time he'd need her, but maybe she would need him. And at least it would keep her from jumping in and getting sliced to bits.

She snorted, "What, like a safe word?"

He huffed slightly, "I guess so, yeah."

That seemed to be enough conversation for her, as she stumbled out of her chair and clambered over to the musty pull out couch in the corner. She was still nursing that damn bottle in the crook of her arm.

Bucky sat, somewhat surprised that that was the end of it.

"I'm tired." She mumbled as she slipped onto the mattress, kicking her go-bag onto the ground.

I guess I'll take the floor, Bucky thought.

He raised his hands in an exaggerated shrug, his words laced with contempt. "Any thoughts on the safe word?"

Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose, already feeling the early effects of a hang over.

"Yeah," she muttered, "Punching bag."

Bucky waited for more from her, but after a few moments of silence, her snoring began and he accepted that as the end of their conversation.

It wasn't much, but it was a start.

He accepted his place in the awful rocking chair, but not before picking the bottle of tequila out from beneath her.

He took one final look at his patch up of her ribs, before settling into his seat, eagerly waiting for Sam's arrival.

~

They didn't speak more of their truce after that night, but there had been an unspoken agreement on both ends to keep their promise.

They'd be less hostile towards one another; and they'd work their roles independently during missions unless someone asked for help.

And, oddly enough, their "safe word" popped up more and more with each mission. It was easier than saying the words "I need your help", because both were so stuck in their pride to ever admit that. But "punching bag" worked just fine.

In fact, they had gotten so comfortable using it during their duo missions, that it became an oddity to the rest of the Avengers in team missions.

"Barnes, what's your location?"

"Intersection of Francis Street and Main."

"I'm west of Francis by one block. Alice Street. Punching bag."

Within less than a minute, he was there.

It was rare for Bucky to use it, but every so often he had.

One time, it had been used because Bucky's metal arm had adhered to the FOD magnetic sweepers of their combatant's tank.

Y/N had laughed when she arrived, but never brought it up afterwards.

That was another thing, an interesting development so to speak. In its month's of usage, "Punching bag" somehow became "come, no questions asked."

Sam, Joaquin and Sharon had all taken notice of this new addition to their lingo; but decided not to press it. Ever since it had been implemented, the two were actually getting along. Sam would argue they were somewhat friendly with one another.

It was a peaceful three months since their Russia mission, and the team was going to ride it out as long as they could.

~

Bucky felt numb. Which was bad, because usually that led to an anger spiral or a drawn out dissociation episode. Neither were good options for him.

It was a bad day. A really fucking bad day.

He had called his therapist, but at the fourth call with no answer, he had assumed she was asleep.

Of course she was, it was 2 in the morning.

Bucky tried to remember what she had taught him; their so-called "game plan" when things went south.

He didn't want to listen to music, he had tried going for a walk, he had tried using that dumb journal she recommened he'd buy but he couldn't write anything down.

Call someone, she had said, your line of work has a select few that understand what you're going through. And those select few happen to be your friends, you can lean on them . That's what they're there for.

He had hovered over Sam's contact for—about—15 minutes. But he didn't want to.

Some nagging feeling in the forefront of his mind pulled him back, to lean towards someone else.

He scrolled down, clicked the contact, and sent a quick message.

Punching bag.

And then he waited.

-

Bucky had left his location on in their group comms chat, and Y/N was surprised to see that he was in his own apartment.

Her mind jumped to an intruder holding Bucky hostage in his own home; or him being kidnapped, leaving his phone behind and it was the last message he had been able to send before being taken away.

She got paranoid like that. She was working it out in therapy, or whatever.

Bucky rarely used their safe word, which she resented him for, but when he did she knew it was serious.

She was there in 10 minutes.

Bucky heard shuffling outside his door; as stealthy as she was, he had the fortune of super-soldier hearing.

Then she gave their call sign, an additional one that was in early development. One knock, a pause, then four knocks.

You're, one syllable, an id-i-ot, four syllables

He'd respond back with two hard knocks to signal it was clear; two syllables for "fuck you".

Apparently their old habits died hard.

He had left the door unlocked, and she entered slowly.

With a quick scan of the room, she deemed the coast was clear. Even more surprising considering the text she had received less than 15 minutes ago.

She looked at him with question, "Our safe word is usually for emergencies, y'know."

He nodded, but said nothing.

She pursed her lips, more confused but coming in regardless.

"...Alright."

She slipped off her coat and kicked off her boots. She found it odd to see him on the floor, then noticing the pillow and blankets laid out on the hardwood, she realized that's how Bucky slept.

Late at night, she put two and two together; he'd tried to sleep and couldn't.

She folded her coat and sat down across from him.

She stayed silent, patiently waiting for him.

He continued to say nothing.

She waited for a few minutes longer, prompting him to give some sort of explanation for his text.

But again, nothing.

She clapped her hands once on her knees, and stood up. Bucky panicked, fearing she would leave---

"You got back at 10, right?" She asked.

Bucky was taken aback by her knowledge of his returning home, but nodded after his pause.

She hummed, "Okay. Have you eaten?"

"Uh--" Bucky thought for a moment, realizing he hadn't. "--No."

She nodded. It was a start.

"Okay. Then uh---I'm gonna get you some food."

After digging through the cabinets whilst Bucky sat on the floor, she mustered her supplies; butter, cheese, and bread.

Grilled cheese wasn't the fanciest of meals but considering the situation, it would have to do. Besides, she didn't know how to cook anything else.

5 minutes later, a plate plopped down in front of him, and she sat cross-legged as she started on her sandwich.

He watched her for a moment, before she looked up at him with a mouthful.

"Don't let good eatings go to waste Barnes," she wiped crumbs from her lips, "I put my blood, sweat and tears into this meal."

Shockingly, even to himself, Bucky laughed. And then he ate.

"I would've added onion," She said, "But you don't seem to have... many ingredients in your fridge, Buck."

He was surprised at her wanting to use onion, and even more surprised at her usage of his first name. But he let the latter slide.

"Onion?" He questioned.

She sent an odd look back at him, "What? You've never had onion in your grilled cheese?"

When he shook his head no, she went into a ramble.

"My god, you're missing out. I'll tell you this; one time, my Pops went into this diner, you see--"

Bucky felt himself smile as she went on, telling a story of her grandpa recommending the restaurant make it a special of the day, "grilled cheese with onion", and how it had been such a hit with the locals, that they gave her grandpa a free grilled cheese every day from that day on. Which was how she knew how to make it.

She told more stories about her grandpa, then about her family, and Bucky realized he'd never heard more about her in one sitting. In fact, he realized he had known nothing about her personal life the entire time they had been working alongside eachother.

He sat happily listening, grilled cheese in hand, and even took her up on seconds as she continued to talk.

Y/N figured that, sometimes, that's what someone needs. To fill the silence, to feel the normal, especially on days that were less than good.

And eventually, the other person would start talking too.

People need distraction. Sometimes they need to talk, they need advice, or they need help and action. But when someone needs you, and they can't find the words, talking of nothingness can be the best thing.

Y/N could be good at that, something Bucky never knew about her. And, something Bucky never knew he liked.

A silence fell over them, but not like before. Not the tense words-unsaid sort. But comfortable. She washed dishes and he sat on the floor.

She flicked her hands at the sink before drying them, Bucky wondered if she did that all the time.

"So," She said, "do you want to talk about it?"

The question might have been jarring to others, but to him it wasn't. Bucky just shrugged.

"I don't think so."

He didn't need to, he thought. This was enough.

She nodded. "Okay. Do you want me to go?"

He was shaking his head before he knew it, and she smirked.

Not the spiteful one she used to adorn with him, but more of a cheeky one. One a friend might give to another.

"Alright. Do you want me to stay?"

He picked at his ratty blanket he had tucked beside him.

"Kinda." He thought before adding, "If you don't mind."

She checked her watch, "I've got nowhere to be."

She said something about a deck of cards, and went to search his house, which for some reason he didn't mind.

She found a deck, Bucky hadn't known he owned one.

"So, I'm gonna teach you how to play King's Corners, kick your ass at King's corners, and then we're gonna talk about this bed situation which is unacceptable..." she trailed off in her teasing, and Bucky found himself laughing more.

She did teach him how to play, and he ended up kicking her ass, which she claimed was beginner’s luck.

She stayed all night.

More nights like that began to happen, sometimes Bucky spoke and sometimes he didn't.

Sometimes they fought, most times they didn't.

The fights happened less and less. The all-nighters happened more and more.

And Bucky noticed more things he liked. More than her grilled cheese, more than her comfortable ramblings, and soon he found there were more things he liked than not.

She trusted Bucky to hold his own on the field, and he tried not to be as protective of her, letting her choose her own actions. They found out that was what he was afterall, and she realized she had been too.

She had been staying longer and longer. The next thing they knew, she wasn't leaving at all.

~

@dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable

@dumb-ass-3

@cuddlycalcifer @babyblue-07 @babybluereads @lonewolf471 @agni-l @niiight-dreamerrrr @julipmoon @fandomsfallnomore @elliee1497 @godspeedlover @sexwithhiddlesbatch @annestine @shower-me-with-roses @yougottalovefandoms @rebekahdawkins @gentlybarnes @emmabarnes

[laserbeamsky]

I woke up this morning really inspired for the first time in years and this is the result <3

It’s over much too soon. It lasted about half an hour, sweaty foreheads pressed together, breath mingling, and he didn’t think that was too bad, all things considered. You were still laying on top of him, chest pressed to his, your cheek cupped in the palm of his hand.

He was always breaking things. He remembered the day that Wayne hung all the mugs up on the wall, out of reach, the day Eddie had dropped one and slashed a deep gash into the palm of his hand trying to pick up the pieces. He’d been terrified, blindly fumbling at the shards of ceramic with tears blurring his vision. He’d had to get stitches, and now the old silvery scar was pressed against your cheek. He’d never really believed in anything, but for the first time in his life, he found himself praying, the tips of his fingers pushing into your damp hairline. Please don’t let me break her.

He could feel your heart thudding against his own, slowing back down to normality, becoming steady again. Your hooded eyes met his, and you smiled softly, kiss swollen lips pulling up at the corners, your cheek pressing further into his palm.

“Hey” you almost whispered, as if speaking at a normal volume might break some kind of trance. Your breath smelled sweet, of movie theatre popcorn and blue raspberry slush puppies. He’d leaned in to kiss you while your mouth was still ice cold, and didn’t stop until there was no trace of blue left on your lips.

“Hey” he replied, his heart swelling, the smile on his face so wide he thought it might split open. The corners of his eyes crinkled with the force of it. You leaned in to kiss him again, teeth grazing against his chapped bottom lip, and when you pulled away, you lay your head on the pillow. Your face was an inch away, and he could feel each breath you took fanning softly over his face. But that inch… that damn inch. It was enough for the tiniest sliver of doubt to weasel its way in and settle between his ribs.

Everybody Eddie brought home left with a piece of him. It was his nature to give, to lay it all out on the table, and he was usually pretty good at letting things go. He didn’t expect phone calls, or declarations of undying affection, and when people walked out of the door with a tiny piece of him clutched in their palm, he didn’t ever expect them to return it. But you. You were about to take the biggest piece yet.

“You can go. If you need to. If you’re uh… busy.” His smile wasn’t as wide, plastered onto his face like a mask.

“Do you want me to go?” Usually he’d say sure, no worries, you should probably leave anyway. But the look on your face, the unguarded sincerity with which you looked into his eyes, made his heart skip a beat. It was like someone was in his stomach swinging a bat around, and they’d just hit a home run to lodge right in his throat. He swallowed around the hard lump.

“No.” He thought he sounded like a child. He hoped his eyes weren’t welling up.

“Then i’ll stay.” You pushed a stray curl behind his ear with delicate fingertips, the gesture so fond and so unfamiliar that if eddie wasn’t on the verge of tears before, he definitely was now. As you pressed your lips to his one more time, the lump in his throat turned to honey, seeping into his blood, warming his skin, setting the hairs on his arms standing on end. As you pulled away, forehead pressed to his once again, he cupped your face once more, thumb tracing along your bottom lip.

Careful. Don’t break her. He swallowed, eyes scrunching closed, his lips catching the corner of your mouth one more time.

I love you. Don’t ever leave me. “You hungry?” he said instead.

[mockerycrow]

okkk since my last ask went so Amazingly well (I have read it at least 7 to 20 times)

could you do reader with like almost constantly cold hands? like not extremely cold hands, but enough that it's noticeable? I'm just imagining reader (you could use the Cinder callsign again or whatever you feel works best) maybe patching up a wound and whoever (x gaz again??? again, whoever you feel like is best) is surprised by the sudden coldness

anyway no pressure to answer this, I can't wait for whatever you write next <33333 (also this is totally me projecting my cold hands if this feels super random)

Sweater Weather (Gaz x GN!Reader)

gaz masterlist - crow’s mega masterlist

So now, let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater.

A/N: YET ANOTHER BANGER PROMPT FROM YOU!!! AND ITS FOR GAZ I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! I hope you get my song reference hehe. i’m also happy you enjoyed the last fic you requested <3 feel free to send in more requests! This is also lowkey a part 2 to your previous request, but it could be a standalone. Cinder is your callsign.

[WARNINGS: minor descriptions of minor injuries, medical inaccuracies, humor, fluff!]

By this point in time, you and Gaz were two peas in a pod. You were the latest person to join the task force, the last for now, but surely not the least. Everyone had their own set of gear and clothing, their own ways of getting into the right headspaces for missions, and everyone had their own things that they had with them at all times. Price always had his cigars, Ghost always had his mask, Soap always had his sketchbook, and Gaz always had a baseball cap with him. You? You always had gloves on. Not on your person, but always on your hands. The only times the team likely saw you without them is when you were exiting the bathroom, but then again, you were slipping them back on after you had washed your hands.

It perplexed Gaz. He understood everyone else’s reasons and items—Price is admittedly addicted to cigars, Ghost is just.. Ghost, Soap’s sketchbook helps him calm down and document things, his own hat was a comfort for him in the field.. But your gloves made no sense. To be fair, he didn’t notice right away. Many people wear gloves in the field to protect their hands, even on the hottest days, they’ll wear gloves and sweat in them until their fingertips prune from the moisture. You? You always, always wore them inside. On base. In your room… While eating— The point is, you always wore them. No matter the situation. It has him—and likely the others-wondering why exactly you do this. The few times they’ve seen your hands without gloves, none of them were close enough to see if you were, for some reason, hiding scars, perhaps hand tattoos, just something that would make sense.

Gaz ended up sporting himself a nasty split lip after an enemy managed to bash his head into a door frame, a wound that definitely needed stitches. It was the lower lip, off-center to the right with blood dribbling down his chin. Everyone was split up on the mission— You and Gaz were paired together, while Soap and Price were also paired. Ghost was operating alone for some stealth work. He’s sitting down on an old wooden chair in a house you two have held up in for the night. You open your duffel bag by the south wall, which is front of Gaz. You rummage around for the medical kit you began to bring everywhere after you fell through the floor a few months ago. “I don’t think we have too much further to go.” Gaz commented, glancing at the boarded up window to his left. There was a small sliver between the boards, allowing him to see that the sun is setting.

“Stop talking, you’ll agitate your lip.” You scold softly, grabbing the handle of the medical kit and you pull it out of the stuffed duffel bag. You glance over at him to see him quietly—yet playfully—mocking you under his breath. Sometimes you’re convinced he spends too much time with Soap, but then you always remember in the back of your mind, he’s more-so playful around you than anyone else. You walk over and place it on the table next to Gaz, opening the latches and pushing the top open. You look into the box and blink rapidly when you don’t see any disposable gloves. You then pick up packages of gauze, the small plastic container holding the medical thread, you practically rearrange everything and yet, it seems they were not packed. “Fuck.” You curse under your breath. You let out a sigh as Gaz asks you, “Cinder? What’s wrong?”

You tear the velcro off of the wrist part of your glove and slip it off, repeating the process with your other glove. “Whoever packaged this medical kit didn’t add disposable gloves, and my gloves are dirty as hell.” You mumble, even slightly pouting about it. Gaz raises an eyebrow at your attitude, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. You grab a bottle of antiseptic and you put your finger up as without looking at him, you already know he’s about to say something snarky. “Open your mouth again and I’ll use this tourniquet on your damn neck.”

Gaz bursts out laughing, causing you to roll your eyes and smile yourself. You pop open and cap and pour the antiseptic onto your hands, the extra liquid splattering against the floor and onto your boots. You set the bottle down and grab a needle and take out some thread. Despite the calm mood between you two, Gaz is still on high alert. You can tell by his posture, the way his eyes flicker towards the boarded up windows, the barricaded door.. On one hand, you wish you could reassure him but you’re also still on high alert, especially after witnessing Gaz get his face bashed. You quietly thread the string through the needles hole, turning to Gaz completely. You grab his jaw to turn his head and this man physically flinches, muttering, “Bloody hell, your hands are cold.”

You laugh as you position his head for the best angle that you need, bringing the needle close to his lips. “Why do you think I’m wearing gloves all the time, Gaz?” Your eyebrows furrow inward slightly as you begin to concentrate, hoping to distract him from the pain of the needle piercing his skin. “Even in the hotter areas our missions were in, my hands would be sweating, yet they were cold.”

Gaz blinks in surprise, completely forgetting about the needle that is about to enter his skin. That’s why you wore gloves all the time? It wasn’t because of a big secret you were hiding? No scars? No tattoos?

You were cold?

Gaz stares at your scrunched face he begins to feel a bit stupid, as he never considered that as a possibility.

[castlevaniacentral]

The sunrise may never be mine

Chapter two.

‘ oh fuck me ‘

Bloody hell.

Crosses, your body was littered with the rosary, you had wrapped your torso in it. Heck it was smart, holy relics do weaken vampires. But in this case it was making it hard to maneuver you. From the steel that laced your slim arms, confirming to its thin frame and the crucifix that sat just above your left hip.

“Well…this seems to be more antagonizing for me than you.” Alucard grunted out before lifting your shirt at your side, narrowing his eyes he ripped the fabric off your body strategically. He could only go in pieces after all. Pulling it from its confinements, he slipped it off before immediately getting to work on the wound that he caused to your side.

Sighing softly he stitched the wound closed, before dressing it. It felt like he has sighed over a hundred times over the passed hour. One he had another human in his home, and to make matters worse you seemed to know some sort of magic.

Quickly his eyes darted over the little small scars over your arm and torso. Your body trembled on the bed, and your face contorted into unreadable expressions before a pained one took its stay.

Clearly you were pained by something, maybe not so much your body right now because you were unconscious. But it seemed you were having a bad dream, while he could dress the wound. Your memory he wouldn’t be fix.

A soft scoff escaped his lips, why was he even considering helping you anyway. Once he dressed this wound for you. You’d be on your way.

Wrapping the bandage over your side, he glanced back at your arm once more, it seemed to be slightly off from the other one. And upon further inspection it seemed to had been your arm was broken but— you were using it and it didn’t seem like it then?—

He gently ran his cold finger tips over your bare forearm before picking it up inspecting it. It looked like your body had attempted to heal itself, though from your living conditions it couldn’t quit get it right. But how long had it been like this?

Foremost the bruising…it didn’t seem fresh, and when you fought you didn’t show much discomfort. This had to be dangerous, risk for blood infection maybe. He could see the attempt at the terrible wrap- had you been using the armour as some sort of splint?

He furrowed his eyebrows gripping your arm, forcing the bone back into its correct position. Suddenly your body jolted causing alucard to pause mid action to inspect how you were feeling. Clearly you felt that, even in your deep snooze. But there was no better time to do it than when you weren’t aware

Rewrapping your arm with a proper splint. He stood straight looking down at your awfully thin stature. A women your age should have been much more bigger than this. Your ribs poked through your skin and shoulders boney.

The will in you to fight was honestly surprising. Discarding the ripped fabric, alucard decided to wipe your bare skin down from the wetness of outside and your sweat. Whatever you were dreaming about it made you vocal, a soft groan and whimper escaping your lips ever so often. The trembles of your body could have been contributed to because of the cold

Covering you with the blanket he turned to leave before taking one last glance at your sleeping form

“Oh fuck me.” He grunted out leaving you alone in the room.

-

You were back at the manor once again, but this time you had done something wrong. You had broken the mistresses vase. It wasn’t a favourite of hers and to be quite frank she didn’t really like it either, but the opportunity presented itself for her to punish you. And so she did.

Having you whipped mercilessly as you were tied to a tree, the smell of bark filled your nostrils. Had it been any other way this smell would of been ok, but for the stance you were in the smell of this bark was disgusting. And leaning your head into it for some relief from the slashes didn’t quite help. You quietly sobbed knowing that if you made too much noise the torture would continue.

And with each slash you felt the skin on your back tear, the blood trickled down your spine, tickling your lower back sending a wave of discomfort and tenderness.

You didn’t meant to do it. It was an accident you had stumbled over from weakness before colliding into the table. You were hungry and over worked but tried not to complain. But finally your body gave in for a mere second. And look at what it brought you…that’s what you get for being weak.

-

You abruptly sat up, pain shooting through your body at your sudden movement. “Agh” you yelped out, Clutching your side with your left arm. Your body was in agony and the sudden decision you just made was ever so possibly one of the worst ones you have ever. Slowly trying to lie back down you let out deep exhales.

Where the hell were you? Where was ash? What was this place? Did you die? You clutched your side with the arm that didn’t tremble in pain.

Your head shot over to the door that opened the blonde male from earlier returning with a tray with a bowl on it.

‘Oh no’ you thought scooting yourself over, before falling off the bed in attempts to escape him. Falling with a loud thud. You huffed out, he was going to chain you up again. You were going to be a slave all over again. He was going to seal away your powers and lock you in the basement. And when you were bad you were going to get tossed in the dark well and forced to stay until-

“Do not be afraid.”

Your thoughts were silenced once he called out to you hearing the tray settle onto the night table that was beside the lavish bed. He walked around the bed before stepping closer to you, “your wounds will reopen again. I took my time bandaging it. Don’t make my attempts go to waste” he stated coldly before reaching down for you helping you up on the bed once again

Your eyes welled up with tears as your body trembled. Not only were you in pain but now you were scared, “please I don’t wanna be slave!” you said between sobs “please let me go”

Alucard stared at you his brows contorting into confusion before slight irritation, “I don’t have any use for slave. There’s nothing you can provide that I cannot provide myself. You’re useless to me” ouch

Helping you up on the bed he set the pillows up behind you for you to lean back up on. “I’ve brought you food. Eat this” walking back over to the table he picked up the bowl holding it towards you. With a shaky hand you reached out to clutch it. Watching you he guided your hands to hold it securely.

“I don’t care about your history or how you ended up here. Once you’re in good condition. I ask that you please leave”

You looked up at him before down at the bowl he handed over. It appeared to be a porridge of some sorts “thank you.” Was all you could stated tiredly, using your good arm you raised it to wipe the tears from your now swollen face.

Alucard didn’t respond to it instead he turned his head from you. Before standing up abruptly to leave, “has your wound reopened from your fall?” You looked down before shaking your head, “no, good.”

You said before starting to eat your food. “I’ll bring you clothes to cover yourself up” yes your body had been out bare, not completely your breast had been covered by bandages you had managed to find to give yourself support. But oddly enough you didn’t cower in shame upon him seeing your fame.

Because this was normal, usually the masters would buy the slaves naked to see if they had any infirmities. You weren’t allowed to cover up when you were demanded to strip, but innocently your mind thought nothing of your bareness being out for him to see. It wasn’t like he was inspecting you.

Surely there was nothing about you that would have attracted him anyway. You were different looking.

-

When was the last time she ate a full healthy meal? Alucard thought to himself quietly. Upon her sitting up and being able to see her clearly now. He understood that this girl was in no good position in the livelihood sense. She was starved, her bones peaked out from her smooth skin, and she looked malnourished. Upon that her body was littered in scars on her back and arms.

He didn’t pry about it, and he refused to ask. He didn’t want to risk feeling any sympathy for her and ask her to stay longer. To be Frank he wanted her out just as fast as she came in.

And her language, it seemed to be broken as well-‘Alucard no, you can’t get involved again’ his voice reminded him, ‘remember what happened last time’ he stopped in his tracks before glancing back at the girl. There wasn’t an evil bone in her body, she was like a child trapped in an adult one.

Oh right he had to clothe her, “I’ll bring you clothes to cover yourself up” he stated watching as she hastily ate. She hadn’t even shuffled to cover self up in shame or embarrassment, it’s almost as if this was normal to her

Walking out of the room he shook his head in irritation.

Why was he doing this again?

[aquinnix]

Hermit-a-Day May 10 - Stress

Stress kneeled over a bucket of water, scrubbing her hands clean. The water had started to take on a reddish tint, she really needed to change it out when she got a chance. Everything had just become so hectic lately, it was as if everyone had gotten together and made a pact to all get injured this week. Stress had never been so exhausted in her life. Still, she had to keep going. She had to keep working. 

She dried her hands and stood, making her way back over to the bed tucked into the corner of the room. Scar was asleep under the covers. It wasn’t that much of a suprise that Scar had managed to cut himself open yet again, at least Stress had gotten a lot of practice with stitches over the past few years. Stress grabbed a roll of bandages and began to wrap up Scar’s shoulder. 

It had been fairly routine, she hadn’t really needed to put Scar to sleep. But Scar had the tendency to flinch at every little thing, and Stress didn’t have the patience for that right now. He would wake up in an hour or so anyway. She tied the bandage off, a deep sigh working its way up her throat. Why couldn’t anyone else do it? It wasn’t like there wasn’t anyone else with a decent amount of medical knowledge, Doc rebuilt half of his own body for Void sake. 

Still, something about seeing Scar’s calm face like this made a soft warth bubble up in Stress’ chest. He was so relaxed, so vulnerable, but he trusted her. 

Stress liked being trusted. 

She pulled the sheet back over Scar, tucking the edges of the blanket underneath him. As soon as Scar was ready to go, Stress would go down to the river and rinse out her bucket just as she had done countless other times. The routine of it all was nice, she would admit that much, but something about the sheer monotony of it was crippling. 

Stress took a seat on the edge of the bed, her gaze remaining fixed on Scar’s sleepy smile. Her eyes flickered to the table beside her on which sat the needle she had used to stick Scar back up. 

If she wanted to, there was nothing stopping her from doing something with that needle. But Stress would never hurt her friends like that, even if they were complete idiots some of the time. 

Right? 

[fragmentating]

Honestly not much radicalized me in regards to bodily autonomy the way being a chronic selfharmer for 10+ years has. And one of those things that really are so awful to deal with is a lack of privacy.

When I go inpatient and they ask me if I have wounds, and I answer honestly, they dont just write that down. They make me undress and show each single one, otherwise I wont be "processed" and let into my room.

In the underage psych ward I was in they would sometimes search the rooms of known selfharmers while we were away at a therapy appointment, or seeing family in the visitation room, etc. They wouldn't tell you. They would lie about it if you asked about it. But all your shit had been moved around slightly, enough for observant people to notice. If they found blades, or any other sharp object regardless of it you had used it to selfharm though, you would obviously be punished.

One time I cut and went to the nurses for help, I was scared because it had never been that deep before and their response was tossing my room after I had voluntarily given them the two blades i had, while a male nurse kept saying how uncomfortable he was that he "had to" inspect my pads, saying "why would you need that many", ... they had metal detectors. They could've just swiped it across everything. But that wouldn't have been humiliating enough like seeing a nurse dig through my underwear and pads and diary.

Outside of the psych ward, my family kept up a similar approach. They did not search my room at least, knowing it was futile because there were always knifes in the house if I was desperate anyways, and a store down the street that sold razors. But locked doors were my mothers enemy. If I locked my door to masturbate, and she noticed it was locked? She would knock and yell until I opened it. If I simply wanted to relax in a bath but she decided it was suspiciously long ? The same.

When they couldn't catch me in the act but my scars kept getting more and more theyd threaten me with being hospitalized again.

When the hospital ER would send me to the closed ward for cuts that had nothing to do with suicidal ideation, but they decided I must be lying because it was deep enough, no matter how often I said I simply "messed up" because of adrenaline and blades that were sharper than expected. They had no legal ground to lock me up again but who cares, right. Its just one of those freaks who cuts themselves anyways.

And none of this kept me safe. None of this prevented me from cutting majority of the time. It made me distrust the ER. It made me distrust nurses. It made me hide my body even around my family. And when it did momentarily work I simply started harming myself in other ways. I ended up covered in bruises, with minor concussions, increasingly starving myself, depriving myself of sleep, ...

No one ever went "let's really try to figure out why you do this." Instead they went "why the fuck wont you just chew some bubble gum and roll a spikey ball on the soles of your feet you depressed fuck" or some shit like bro I am being severely traumatized by the world and this is my reaction. It's all "you are the problem".

And as an adult whos decided that I'm not interested in quitting, who "only" practices harm reduction I know that absolutely no one wants to accept that as a choice I should be allowed to make. Doesnt matter that I'm an expert at taking care of wounds and I have not had a single infection in 10+ years aside from once on wounds that got fucking stitched at the hospital. that I actively do my best to avoid lasting damage. That I try to keep the frequency low. They put me through years of surveillance and shame and threats without ever trying to see the root cause, only ever treat me as a bratty problem child who's being difficult just to fuck with them, and can not understand why that wouldn't make me want to stick to the goals they have set for me.

Therapists genuinely lose their mind when I tell them I don't want ~sobriety~ I just want to reduce harm and get on with my life. Their teachings do not allow for this to be but a short term compromise. I do not care.

[prince-liest]

Your last 666 series installment is the best thing that happened to me. Its full of gore, somehow fluffy and wait-.. do I finally see some FRICKING COMUNICATION between the two idiots!?!?!

Ngl, Vox's 'Alastor not being able to love' statement hurt my soul. Your writing is brilliant and and let's just see what ending ya wro-..O MA LORD IS THAT VAL'S LOVE POTION!?!?!?!?

Now I need to know what's next!!!! And VOX I SWEAR IF U USE THIS SITUATION IN ANY WAY IM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE.

This series is a blast♡ love it!♡ makes me weirdly passionate and excited hah!

Some communication, and some communication failure, hahaha. They're going to be talking a lot more in the next one, actually, because I meant to write some NSFW and they had to go and attempt a healthy conversation instead. What can you do.

Thank you so much, I'm delighted that you're enjoying! :D

And: Way more anon asks about the latest 666 getting answered under the cut! <3 I combined a bunch from the last couple of days.

prince, I'm going insane over the latest fic. so we know from Alastor's inner monologue that he knows the roofie was an accident, but considering the super stressful situation, the fact that Vox was the one to ask for a kiss and the fact that Alastor accused him of wanting instead of loving him not a few minutes ago…. makes me wonder if Vox might not be at least a little worred that Alastor might think it was on purpose <3 gonna be rotating this in my head for the foreseeable future - ✨

I am so glad that these things are on y'all's minds, hahaha. Because you can bet they are on mine. >:D And THANK YOU, very pleased to be dragging everyone down into insanity with me.

“Should I stitch together the scars your teeth left in me in a mirror of my own signature on your body.” Fucking. POETRY. 🐈‍⬛

I am always so happy when I write shit like this and instead of everyone pointing at me and going, "Look, what an EDGELORD!" the response is you people being VERY nice and leaning into the feelsy fun! 💛

holy moly ??? i love the new 666 addition aaaah 😭🙏 the trials and tribulations of feeling scorned and ghosted by a loser who confessed his love to you and the next time you see him he’s holding your LITERAL heart in his hands by alastor ! OMFG this was too good esp the part where vox is like “bro why do YOU CARE ?? i thought you didn’t love me huh?” and alastor is like well. maybe i.do. 😐 LIKE CMONN this really played out like some soap drama and i loved the neat details on resuscitative thoroctomy (learned a new word too so double bonus) the fact vel was on the line w her and val’s apparent surgeon for val’a little ‘incidents ??? GOLDEN I SAYY hope we see more of ur oc … 🫣🫣 btw ofc vox would love to an end an argument with a kiss OF FUCKING COURSE HE WOULD 😭 thank u sm for this chapter princeliest my dear <3 hope life is treating u well too !! -🦌

Vox is ahead of Alastor in terms of effective in-the-moment conflict resolution, but goddamn if he isn't fucked up in his own fun little ways. They're so not done with most of these issues, but at least they're on they're way to maybe be able to have a real conversation about them!

You know. If they chose to do that kind thing. Instead of whatever they will probably do instead.

Anyway, THANK YOU!! I had a great deal of fun writing this chapter and digging into some of the issues that have been slowly collecting underneath the surface of kinky radiostatic, so I'm happy you guys are enjoying as well!! :D

AS FOR MY OC... I WILL POST ABOUT THEM SOON. I LOVE THEM A LOT AND IT EXCITES ME THAT PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW MORE OF THEM. Tysm for asking Q^Q

Just read the new addition to the 666 verse, and inside of me are two wolves: The first is saying: Immaculate, artistry of the highest form. We finally get Alastor’s own confrontation with his vulnerability and him trying to figure out what exactly the relationship with Vox means to him. Cannot wait for how this all is going to develop. The other part of me: THE BREADCRUMBS WORKED THE MUSE IS WRITING!!! Followed by this image (since tumblr won’t let me attach it while being anonymous) https://i.redd.it/hx2shk642vs71.jpg -🕊️

LMAO THAT PIC. Amazing, flawless, thank you. The breadcrumbs DEFINITELY worked, please keep feeding. Digging into Alastor's shit is bringing me life and I'm happy to share it, hahaha. We're swinging even harder on the introspection in the next one!

As a sucker for medical gore and aroace angst, I lack the words to express my love and appreciation for your most recent installment of 666, but your writing of radiostatic's dynamic was captivating and proved to be such a lovely read as always! I loved that you touched on Alastor's relationships with the women around him as that has always been such an interesting aspect of his character to me! I never really put much thought into how Vox's apparent avoidance of Alastor in the show could mirror Alastor's disappearance, and now it will Not leave my mind. My heart hurts for these two dorks, super looking forward to chapter 2!

"Medical gore and aroace angst" should be the title of my memoir. Honestly, this series has ended up a lot more edgy-bloody than I expected it to, since I usually tend to prefer to portray my whump/angst/violence/etc in a much more roundabout way, but it's actually kinda tipped over into, like... part of the point is how banal it is, how beside the point. The upsetting heavy-hitting bits aren't the blood, they're everything else that goes on around it. Anyway, thank you so much! <3 I think your heart will find some relief in chapter two, haha, I hope you enjoy!!

Meanwhile alastor, completely convinced that there’s no situation where vox actually loves him and is happy with the way things are—either vox wants more and is going to start asking for more, or he doesn’t actually love him and just wants to have sex with him and thus either way he is a Liar. They’re so fucking bad at this. No one is capable of being the adult here. I think they need an auspitice.

It's really funny that you said that, because that is kind of exactly the role that [spoiler] ends up playing, though in a more roundabout way, hahaha. They certainly need someone to, like, get them to be having the same conversation with each other instead of two parallel ones. I think the fun thing about writing Alastor reacting to his own feelings is just how much his reaction can change based on how things are framed for him, and it leaves a lot of wiggle room for how differently I've ended up writing him reacting to the season 1 finale in 666 vs in Happily Ever After, and Other Shit Nepotism Can't Buy.

But, god, you really nailed the description of what Alastor is feeling. <3

Vox in the latest 666, my ENTIRE HEART. Literally nothing about how he read the situation was a bad take or a leap to conclusions, but alastor constantly says the opposite of what he means and refuses to admit vulnerability or friendship and what the hell else was vox meant to do with that, of course he backed off, they need to have this talk so badly

YES, PRECISELY! Like, I hope it came through that really neither of them was completely crazy to react the way they did! It's a result of how much of their communication has been nonverbal, implied, and talking around things - they'd been doing so well up until this point, but there's only so far that can take you before you start thinking that you're on the same page when really you're reading two completely different books! Thank you sm! <3

‘But I am capable,” Alastor says gently. “I love you very much.” Vox gapes up at him. “...I. Fuck you.” His voice is tight, strained. “I don’t fucking believe you.” Alastor feels his smile thin. “Well. That’s just dandy, then, isn’t it?”’ I AM NOT OK GOING FUCKING FERAL

Probably one of my favorite lines to write, ehehehe. THANK YOU ANONNNN <3 It's kinda interesting to see how differently some people read this. Some folks thought Alastor was saying it to hurt Vox (which is how Vox read it). Some folks thought it was true (how Alastor intended it). Some folks thought Alastor was trying to fit into the mold that he thought Vox wanted from him (how I intended it). All of them make sense as readings! >:)

[bountydroid]

Stitches

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Lucy Maclean (PLATONIC)

Request: Can I please request some hurt/comfort between Lucy & The Ghoul 😩 Like she gets hurt during her encounter with the gulper & Cooper breaks his bad boy/mean character for a minute and helps to stitch her up? Or Cooper gets hurt during a gunfight & tries to hide it from Lucy but fails, & Lucy brings her nice, down-to-earth self and takes care of his wounds (even though he bitches the entire time 🤣)

Notes: Okay anon this is a shorter one. I tried my best to keep him in character but also a little softer with Lucy. I mean he did cut off her finger and tried to sell her organs, so it seemed ooc to have him be all mushy. I hope you like it anyway.

Once the gulper finally retreated into the water, Lucy finally felt the result of her struggle. A large gash on her leg pulsed in pain. Tears fell down her face as she pushed herself away from the water. 

Cooper was in another world entirely as he hurriedly searched his bag for his tin of Radaway. All the vials were completely crushed.

"Motherfucker!" He shouted angrily.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should've just let you use me as bait in a poison river!" Lucy yelled back.

Cooper lowered his gun before turning back around to the water. "Fuck!" He screamed.

"You can't treat people like this!" Lucy shouted angrily.

"Yeah, why's that?" Cooper asked, his mind obviously elsewhere. 

"Because of the golden rule." She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Do unto others as you would have done unto you."

"Those gulpers digest real slow. You got time." Cooper said to himself, throwing his bag over his shoulder before pulling out his lasso.

"No. no, no, no, no." She begged as he put it around her neck. "Where are we going? What about the head? I need the head to get my dad back."

"Yeah, well, the wasteland's got its own golden rule," Cooper replied, dragging her along.

"Yeah, what's that?" She asked.

"Thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time." Cooper sighed.

"What about the dog?" Lucy asked, scurrying after him.

"He ain't mine." He responded curtly.

It had been hours since they started walking to who knows where. Lucy had no idea where they were going or why they left the head behind. Her leg was angry at the continued use and she was getting worried. 

"Please, sir," Lucy implored. "My leg hurts."

This was the first time Cooper realized she was hurt. He sighed. "Sit." He commanded. 

Lucy quickly did as she was told, looking on with a hopeful expression as he rummaged through his bag before he pulled out a needle and thread.

"But, sir.... don't you have a stimpack?" Her eyes bulged at the needle, never having had stitches before.

He scoffed in response, "Why the hell would I have one of those? Now sit still." He knelt down in front of her as he inspected the wound. It was a large gash across her thigh, angry and bleeding.

She instinctively wiggled as fear settled in her stomach. 

"I said sit still," Cooper said before putting his hand firmly on her thigh. Lucy noticed a decided lack of venom in his voice. The venom he has had since they first met in Filly. She sat as quietly as possible, letting out a few yelps and gasps here and there as he stitched her back up. 

After some time Cooper leaned back on his heels. "There." He said to himself before pushing himself up off the ground.

Lucy stayed on the ground sniffling in pain, staring at the crude sewing job. "That is going to leave a nasty scar." She mumbled to herself.

'Stop your whining." Cooper complained as he offered his hand to her to help her up. She put her bound wrists in his hand as he pulled her up with ease. 

While he was still in a hurry, Cooper let her walk a little slower after that.

Tag list: @v3lv3tf0x

[twothpaste]

thinkin bout kumatora & postgame claus

How surreal it must be - after fighting for their lives against the Masked Man multiple times - for Claus to suddenly be airdropped into Kumatora's periphery. How she knew, quite possibly from the first time she laid eyes on him, who he really was. But she refused to intervene, couldn't bring herself to tell Lucas, bitterly resigned herself to writing him off as a lost cause. Now, against all odds or reason, he's still here. And he's literally just a scared broken kid.

The fact he looks just like Lucas is probably beyond gutwrenching. Kuma traveled their whole tiny fuckin' world with Lucas at her side, put all her trust in him, welcomed him into her life as her dearest friend. She came to admire his bravery. She saw his innocence pitted against everyone else's cruelty, and swore to protect him. And now there's this kid - who shares his face - who got kidnapped and chopped up and stitched back together with incorrect metal parts. Got fucking lobotomized, totally mind wiped - everything Kuma finds wholesome and earnest and lovable about Lucas was ripped away from Claus. One of his eyes is sick with exhaustion, the other's some intrusive mechanical mockery they stuffed into his mess of scars. Even just glancing at him probably invokes horrific hypotheticals and gruesome imagery in Kumatora's head, what if they'd done that to Lucas, if they'd done that to Lucas she'd burn down the whole fucking planet Earth!! And why shouldn't she, when they did it to his identical twin brother?! And Claus flinches at the way she looks at him, senses her telepathic fury - probably thinks she's vying for vengeance against him, for what he did to her friends and her family - and he wouldn't blame her! And Kumatora's gotta stand up and leave the room, before her tears start boiling over.

How Claus tries his darndest to rekindle his old self, tryin to cast necromancy on his goofy childhood sense of humor, the boisterous little schmuck he used to be. He musters toothy grins, he attempts reckless stunts, he pokes fun at his brother. And sure, Kuma's heard plenty of stories from Lucas about that funny ol' farm boy. She's sharp as a knife though. She can tell Claus is forcing it. But somehow the effort is all the more tragic, even endearing, maybe even relatable. Hasn't she been putting up a tough front all this time, too? While she too oughtta be grieving her family? Claus cracks some corny-ass joke, and she catches the dry strain in his awkward tweenage voice. But she laughs with him anyways. And reaches over to ruffle his stupid orange hair.

He has trouble sleeping, often plagued by night terrors, and insomnia, and all the strange aches in his mangled and mutilated body. Kuma has trouble sleeping, too. It's hard to shut her brain up at night, now that her whole universe has been twisted inside out and turned on its head. While Lucas snoozes like a pile of rocks, she stays up to accompany his brother. They try to talk about everything besides the shit that's happened to them. If not just for their own sakes, for each others'. She'd like to take his mind off it, if she can. When he tells another dumb joke, this time about how badly Duster's socks reek, she blinks. Recognizing he's tryin' to do the same for her. His strains and migraines sometimes steal away his humor, his sleep, and even his breath. Kuma's got PSI Lifeup. Not as potent as Lucas'. But she'll offer what she can. Mixolydia taught her to knead tension from temples, and how to give a halfway decent shoulder massage. She's mortified to discover his muscles are just as tense as the steel on the other side. She tries to laugh that off, too. And hold back another round of broiling tears, when he musters a weak chuckle in reply.

Claus should've known the "tough older brother" schtick wasn't built to last. They're twins, for christ's sake. A difference of fourteen minutes doesn't make him any more reliable, doesn't make him a better protector, doesn't charge him with any more responsibility than Lucas. Still, the cutesy mythos their family and neighbors'd built around the two of them stays lodged in his chest. Alongside the bygone image of his wimpy younger twin, cryin' his guts out over a scraped knee. Claus' failure feels immense, unconscionable, treachery of the highest degree. Somehow, though? Havin' a big sister almost seems to balance the scales. Puts it all into clearer perspective. He used to wear 'eldest sibling' as a badge of honor. These days, he's relieved to find the burden's not quite all his. Kuma guides both twins to trespass with her on a high rooftop. And catches Lucas by the collar, when a clumsy overstep nearly has him slippin' off the edge.

She confesses her darkest secret, on one of those sleepless nights. Tells him she knew from the start, that Lucas had a twin. Put the pieces together the minute she saw him, leering down from that airship, his helmet gleaming in the sun. And her molten tears finally get the better of her - "damn it" - when she reckons she might couldda saved him, freed him that much sooner, kept him from havin' to fight his brother - if only she'd been brave enough to say so. Probably not, really. But maybe. Kumatora may expect somethin' akin to vengeance, in the way he looks at her. She wouldn't blame him. He shakes his head, though. Says he's sorry, too - for what he did to her family. That maybe each n' every one of 'em would still be here, if not for him. Probably not. But maybe. When she lost Ionia, Kumatora'd been convinced there was no one left in this world who would love her. She's starting to realize these days that she was gravely mistaken. She's not only loved, but needed. It's a warm, curious, brand new feeling in her chest. Deep in Claus' guts, twisted as it all seems, some part of him is just glad someone recognized the kid in the mask.

They hug it out. And maybe wrestle a little, before falling asleep at dawn.

[idontknowreallywhy]

Resurface 21 - Rely

What went before.

How do you prove you are who you say you are?

With a little dose of DINKY EARTH&SKY STORYTIME.

I agonised over the flashback being from Virgil’s POV rather than Scott who is supposed to be the one telling the story… but Virg very much took front and centre (is about time tbh cos it’s HIS story after all and Scotty keeps muscling in). So yeah it might be a jarring shift, hope you’ll forgive me if so and enjoy the mini earth & sky antics anyway xx

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“Prove it.”

“I… what?”

“Prove you’re not Dad just trying to talk me down off the roof again so Scott has to leave without me.”

Scott’s blood was now red ice-slushie and his heart seemed to be struggling to pump it where it was needed. He was going to mess this up. He was going to let his brother down again. Was it even possible to logic him out of this? Probably not. But, now they were here, he had to try. He had to fix whatever it was that had prompted his brother’s fractured psyche to replace him with… a better version? His mind raced.

“Uh… ok. Ok! How about you ask me something Dad wouldn’t know.”

Virgil silently consulted to his left again, his eyebrows raising with a sudden idea. His head snapped back around and his eyes narrowed on Scott before he raised one finger to his own face and slowly drew a short line along the bottom of his jaw towards his chin. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to.

Scott had already unconsciously mimicked the action, tracing the marginally firmer texture of the almost invisible scar he carried there. A slight wash of relief ran through him as he realised he could answer this one very easily but their father could not have.

“Well it certainly wasn’t an argument with a barbed wire fence like we told Mom and Dad…”

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“The math works, Virgil! The lift from the drones will be just enough to support the two of us into a glide then the wings will do the rest.”

Virgil eyed Scott’s pride and joy with a bucketload of awe mixed with a few shovelfuls of suspicion.

The flying machine’s body was the old carbon fibre kayak, consigned to the garage long ago when their attempt to navigate the nearby stream in midsummer left it slightly… holey… in places. The two of them had manhandled it on to the roof via the internal ladder in the middle of the night about three weeks ago. The swarm of eight small tricopter-drones Scott had requested for his birthday were attached (four across the front, one each wing and two to the back) with lots of complicated-looking knots Virgil hadn’t learnt at Rescue Scouts yet but his brother had practised for hours to perfect.

The main event - the wings themselves - were an ingenious combination of fishing poles, some chicken wire fencing Scott had liberated from behind the shed and a patchwork of pieces of an old parachute Mom had stashed away for a rainy (or last minute fancy dress costume) day.

It did look impressive but also maybe a little more… home made… than Virgil had pictured when Scott had explained his Big Idea.

“I’m not sure your math is the same as real life, Scotty…”

“Sure it is! In high school you do real life math - it’s called physics and its all about balancing up forces with down forces. I checked my calculations with my physics teacher last week. She thought it was brilliant. It will work.”

“Did she know you were planning to do it in real life though?”

“Of course not, 11 year olds aren’t meant to be able to fly. It’d cause a fuss.”

“Hmm.” Virgil scratched his head and tried to figure out why the flying machine made him uneasy. It wasn’t just that the stitching of the parachute to the mesh was somewhat wobblier than Virgil had drawn in the neat plan they’d sketched together. nor was it the fact he could see daylight through some of the gashes in the boat.

“Did your sums include using duct tape?” Scotty had for sure used a lot. A lot of a lot.

“It’s really strong. Ever tried to unstick it from something? Impossible! Nothing unsticks what duct tape says should be stuck.”

“Ok.” Virgil’s voice was small because it was being squashed by big feelings. Some excited and proud ones. Quite a lot more scared ones. And some guilty ones.

And some deep misgivings about whatever “physics” was.

Since leaving them to go to High School Scott’s brain had been full of so many clever new things and he was so confident and excited. Virgil felt bad for not trusting him. After all, Scotty always made the crazy ideas work and then his eyes would twinkle with the annoying “told you so”. They always came out ok because Scotty wouldn’t let Virgil get hurt.

His big brother suddenly crouched down to look him in the eye. His eyes were soft behind the sparkle.

“You don’t have to do it if you’re scared Virgie. 11 years olds aren’t supposed to fly so I guess 9 year olds are even more… uh… not supposed to fly. It won’t matter, you could just watch instead and…” he frowned in thought “I would just need a weight about the same as you to strap to the seat behind… so the math still works. Hmm, maybe a rock or something…”

Scott trailed off and looked around them as if expecting to find a ideal Virgil-sized boulder just waiting there on the rooftop. Virgil hoped he wasn’t going to have to help carry one up the ladder.

Except, no. Of course he wasn’t. Scotty wasn’t going flying with a rock. Not while Virgil was around. His brother could always rely on him to always be right there at his side. He gave himself a little shake, put his hands on his hips and pulled what he thought might be a strong, reliable face:

“You need a wingman. That’s gotta be me. It can’t be a rock, that’s just silly!”

Scott beamed with obvious relief. “Alright short stuff, if you’re sure?”

Virgil was developing a talent for deadly glares and directed his best scowl at the lanky beanpole towering over him. His brother just seemed amused rather than appropriately terrified.

“I’m not that short Scott. I’m nearly as tall as Mom.”

“Yeah well Mom’s teeny. Dad calls her his Li’l Lightning Bolt cos…”

“She’s not! She told me we are the normal ones and you and Dad are secretly Sasquatches hiding from the FBI!”

Scott’s chirpy cackle was loud and long and Virgil glowed with pleasure at making him laugh, even if it hadn’t been his own joke originally. Then a little pang of worry hit him.

“Do you think they are alright?”

Scott squeezed his shoulder. “Of course they are, I promise. Baby Gordon just needs a bit of looking after at hospital because he’s even teenier than you...” Virgil gave him his best killer glare “… and Mom and Dad are just keeping him company. She’s alright Virgie.”

“Yeah.” Another squeeze then his brother stood up tall and together they surveyed the view.

Scott checked his new watch then licked his finger and put it up in the air. His very serious and important expression was a bit spoiled by his tongue sticking out to the side as he concentrated on working out the wind direction but Virgil suppressed the giggle. This was Scotty’s big moment.

“Alright, if we are gonna do this it needs to be now. Wind’s good and Grandma and Grandpa will be back with Johnny in about 20 minutes.”

“Aye aye Captain Scott!”

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[majordemonblockparty]

i feel like sam (and dean) should've been way more upset that the angels undid all of dean's scars after he went to hell.

like. that was the winchester family scrapbook right there, written into dean's skin just like it was into sam's; different volumes of the same chronicle.

the spot where dean got eighty stitches up the inside of his thigh, where a black dog'd got its claws into him and ripped him open down to the muscle. (sam knows it was eighty stitches 'cause he's the one that took 'em all out and kissed it better, after.)

all the places his back got torn up when a poltergeist put him through a plate glass window in oklahoma. (dean splayed out on his belly on the bleach-smelling polyester motel coverlet and sam cross-legged with tweezers and iodine swabs and a fifth of bottom shelf whiskey, the brittle little tink tink tink of glass dropped into an empty ashtray.)

even the ones not related to hunting are gone -- the spot where sam, in a fit of five-year-old pique, bit down on dean's trigger finger hard enough to break the skin, a perfect ring of shiny-pink baby-teeth scars. the spot where he'd split his chin running headlong into the coffee table and needed eight stitches the week before his preschool graduation (dean grinning in a tiny mortarboard with three-week-old sam carefully propped on his lap, big-ass bruise painting his chin in smeary reds and purple. john's hands just inside the frame, making sure dean's hold on his brother was secure while mary snapped the photo.) all the little cuts and scrapes and aged-white scars, each one a touchstone, a footnote in dean's life, gone. like it was nothing. like it meant nothing.

sam knows better. sam knows that when someone comes to you and you've had their blood on your hands, you've put back together all their broken, busted pieces, it means something. it means everything. fuck the angels, anyways.

[junosartsthetic]

Hi hi helloooo im having a bit of polnareff brainrot and id like to ask for a scenario where the sdc crew gets a lady crewmember with a strictly healing stand, but does all the fighting herself. On the battlefield she's a monster but when healing she's the sweetest mother hen and she gets really close to pol bc he's always getting hurt. These two are the best of friends who (not so) secretly have the major hots for eachother. Like to the point where even Avdol is like "jesus, get a fuckin room"

Hurt

This was such a cute prompt, thank you so much for suggesting it! I changed a few things up a tad but I hope it still meets your standards! I too am having Polnareff brainrot. Actually, I think it’s less of a rot and more of a sucker fish that has permanently attached itself. Basically, I love him. Okay. Enough of me. Anyway, enjoy.

Warning(s): suggestive content, Polnareff is naked, sexual undertones, tension, voyeurism mention, Jean's dick is mentioned (oops), nothing too bad.

--

The situation you found yourself in was nothing new—sitting beside an injured Jean Pierre Polnareff as your stand worked its magic patching him up. It was so un-new, in fact, that you had been in the same situation almost everyday for the last month. And as much as you loved helping your companions out after scuffles on the battlefield, there was a point where you had to speak up about a certain Frenchman’s bad luck streak. 

“Jean,” you began, examining the blood running down from the gash in his brow bone, “I know you’re not doing this intentionally, but I can’t help but wonder what curse has latched itself onto you. My stand has no issues patching you up, but I do like to use it for more than just nursing your wounds, you know. I should be out there fighting.” You pressed a damp cloth to a scratch on his cheek while your stand worked on quickly stitching up the slit above his eyes. Though having a precise stand that utilized razor-sharp threads and cauterizing abilities was more than useful for healing, you also yearned to assist your other friends in fighting off the stand user just a few blocks away from your hotel. Of course, Polnareff just had to anger Iggy directly beforehand, leading to his current facial injuries. 

“How do you think I feel?” the silver-haired man shot back, a hand resting on his chin as he pouted. “I haven’t had a break since I started this journey! I’m not even a Joestar, so why am I always the one getting hurt?” He gestured to the various scars littering his exposed arms and upper torso. 

“Well, technically this time was your fault—you know Iggy doesn’t like being picked up unless he says so,” you said, leaning forward on your chair to look closely at his now sewn injuries. 

“He’s a dog. He doesn’t say anything,” Jean huffed, crossing his arms and turning his head away. You rolled your eyes, grabbing his chin to recenter him. Patching him up would go a lot quicker if he quit squirming around like a fussy toddler.

“You know what I mean. He’s smarter than you think. Plus, he’s a sweetheart when he warms up to you, you know.” Your hands moved gently over his facial features, double-checking each cut was sewn and cauterized. Were you slightly over-dramatic when it came to checking your work? Yes. But you’d never forgive yourself if one of your patch-works went wrong. As something of a caretaker for the crew, you held yourself to the highest standards. 

“Are you finished yet?” he whined, crinkling up his nose when you brushed your thumb against the tip of it, wiping off a smear of dirt. You licked your thumb, repeating your actions. Jean reeled back, swatting your hands away. “Okay, okay, okay. I think that’s good. No need for saliva.” His normally pale face grew red, highlighting the soft freckles dotting his cheeks.

“I was getting some dirt off. Calm down. I don’t have cooties,” you muttered, shooing him away. “You look fine. Now go lay down or something. You look like you have a fever.”

“I’m fine,” he replied curtly, brushing off your comment. “You’re not my mom. Don’t worry so much.” He stood up, heading towards the bathroom. “I’m taking a shower. Let me know if you hear anything from the others.” 

“Whatever,” you said, dismissing his attitude. You couldn’t blame him for the sour mood—he must’ve been in pain constantly from all his little cuts and bruises. Even with your stand, you couldn’t take away the pain, no matter how much you wanted to. Your heart sank thinking about all that Jean had gone through. He had it rough, but still managed to put on a charismatic face. You didn’t know how he found it within him, but adored his personality, nonetheless. You adored everything about him, actually. Every little freckle spotting his cheeks. Every scar littering his broad shoulders and muscled arms. Every silver hair that stood atop his head. You just. . . loved him. And though you tried not to let it show, it was obvious. It wasn’t just Polnareff’s wounds that had you always at his side—it was also your insistence to heal every little scratch you could.

Others you’d stitch up major wounds, making sure they’d live, but with Polnareff. . . It was different. You didn’t want him to just survive. You wanted to take away his pain. Not just physically. But emotionally.

You wanted to scream at him for always putting himself in danger. He always had to play the knight in shining armor. He always had to call out his stand, fighting off everything that tried to touch you. He always had to protect you. And for what? All he got in return were scars. No amount of chastising would stop him. And you hated it. Hated his determination. Hated that he cared too much to let anything happen to you.

You didn’t understand why it was only you. But it didn’t matter. You just wanted this trip to be over so he’d never have to put his life on the line to protect you again. 

A loud thud scattered your thoughts. You jumped out of your chair, heart thumping hurriedly as you raced to the bathroom door. You knew it came from inside the room. Was he attacked? Was he okay? Did you miss a wound? Not sparing a second, you threw open the door, examining the room. There was no enemy. No blood. No death. Only a soaking wet Polnareff, laying on the ripped off shower curtain. You were relieved. He must’ve just tripped and fell. Otherwise, he looked okay. More than okay, actually. He looked. . . well he looked like a very attractive naked man now staring at you, an unreadable expression on his face. You quickly rebooted yourself, staring at the ground. “You okay?” you asked, looking at him through your peripheral. You wanted to respect his privacy, but also something told you that he had to have some sort of bodily injury from tumbling out of the shower, especially given his luck. That’s the only reason you were trying to sneak a peek. That’s all. 

“I’m starting to think I am cursed. I get in the shower, start it up, when out of the blue my knee cramps up, and next thing I know I’m tripping over the damn shower curtain! Mon Dieu!” he exclaims, sitting up and running a hand through his wet hair. You noticed blood begin to trickle down his forehead, and quickly lept in to investigate. You knelt down beside him, disregarding his flustered features as you looked at the damage. You brushed his hand away from his head, combing through his hair to spot a thin scrape just under his hairline. You knew it. Of course he’d manage to hurt himself in the few seconds he was alone. And just after you had healed him, too. 

Not wasting a second, you summoned your stand, making quick sutures and cauterizing it gently before Jean even got a chance to speak. You leaned back just enough to take in his full face, hands gently raking through his long silver locks, feeling for any bumps or blood. You felt nothing, and so retreated your hand, letting out a sigh of relief. 

“I’m starting to think I can’t leave you alone,” you muttered, closing your eyes as you rubbed your temples. “Do I have to give you baths now, too?”

“Only if you join me—”

“Don’t be nasty,” you interrupted, smacking his bare chest. “You know I don’t like when you flirt with me just for the fun of it. Anyway, don’t kill yourself taking a shower. I’ll be outside.” You said, straightening yourself up. You took one step forward before your foot slid against the now wet floor, sending you reeling backwards. You squeezed your eyes shut, hoping nothing would break after you made contact with the bathroom tile. 

Instead of bare tile, you crashed into Jean, who quickly cradled you against his chest, dampening your clothes and smushing you against his naked body. You caught your breath, eyes wide as you took in your situation.

“Who’s got bad luck now, hmm?” he chuckled, breath tickling your neck. 

You internally debated as to whether this was the best or worst situation you’d ever been in. One one hand, you were wrapped in the arms of the man you’d been pining after for months. On the other. . . You couldn’t actually think of any downside. Embarrassment? Possibly. But at least it couldn’t get any worse.

The hotel door swung open, and your fellow crusaders stepped inside, Avdol leading the way. Of course the bathroom door was still wide open, with you still in the lap of a naked Polnareff, who was currently using your body to shield himself from their gaze.

Avdol glanced your way briefly before double-taking. His eyes went wide. “If you must participate in. . . whatever you are currently doing, please have the decency to close the door or get a different room.” 

You scrambled to get up, but Jean’s grip on your body remained. “What do you think you’re doing?" you hissed.

“I would very much like to avoid exposing myself!” he shot back.

“Well I’d very much like it if I wasn’t forced to be your human shield! Plus, I can feel your dick poking me!” Silently, Avdol shut the door. He was not about to continue to bear witness to the scene before him. Whatever was happening, he did not want to be a part of it.

Jean finally loosened his grip, and you rushed upwards, grabbing a towel off the rack and tossing it to him. “I am never checking on you again,” you panted, cheeks burning as you tried desperately to forget the feeling of his skin pressed against yours. “Now the rest of them think we’ve got some weird voyeurism thing going on! This is not how I wanted to see you naked!” you blurted out. 

He stifled a laugh, standing as he wrapped the towel around his waist. The white fabric did little to mask his nude form. “You wanted to see me naked? Oh, mon ange, I am flattered, but you could have simply asked.”

“Oh, God. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I meant that—” there was no getting out of this one. In a panic, you just admitted your attraction, and you knew damn well he wasn’t going to let it go. “Look. I am attracted to you. Okay? But I don’t want that to impact our current friendship or the group as a whole and—”

He closed the distance between the two of you, pushing you against the bathroom wall. A large hand reached to caress your burning cheeks. They mimicked his own red visage, which looked suddenly serious. “I swear I am serious when I say this—I have felt the same way, but never had the confidence to confess. Knowing my bad luck, it wouldn’t have worked out in my favor. But now that I know the feelings are mutual . . I am afraid I don’t know if I’ll be able to resist.”

Your entire body was frozen, eyes staring at his own blue ones, looking for any kind of laughter or jest. You saw only passion. “Jean. . .” you whispered. “Just don’t break my heart. Okay?”

“Never, mon cherie, never.”

He closed the gap, lips pressing against your own.

[twistedchristianscience]

forgot to post about him here BUT I finished my silly little Vashraptor fursuit just before Emerald City Comic Con (and Vancoufur)

except he's not actually "finished", just finished enough for me to wear him to those cons for a bit. he still needs a few more details, namely feetpaws, the stitches on his torso, a more raptor-like hand for his prosthetic, and claws. plus I'm not totally happy with his ears so I might redo them. I'll make legs and different prosthetics eventually, but that probably won't be for a while.

as per usual of raptors, he looks pretty silly at any angle other than side profiles, so its a little difficult to get good photos while im actually wearing him.

more ramblings + WIP shots under the cut because this was the most complicated project ive ever done and im insane

so far, he's taken about $700 worth of materials and 150 hours but I'll make another post with updated numbers when he's fully finished.

the headbase is made of EVA foam, with a hinge from WeaselsOnEasels (covered with that pink fabric because I accidentally put it on the inside, rip) and 40 teeth from DreamVisionCreations. the eyes and antorbital fenestrae have .5mm computer fan pvc mesh-- his vision and ventilation are fantastic, rivaling my suit with a 3d printed base, but fine details like writing and text are lost as per usual with vision meshes (that's not normally much of a problem for me with the furry conventions I go to annually and know the layout of, but it made navigating ECCC a nightmare since ive never been before and the venue is HUGE. I imagine ill have the same struggles if I go to sakuracon-- anyone wanna be my handler for that? lol). the unfurred section is coated with Plastidip and spraypainted dark brown. most of his mane is zippered on both sides so I can remove it and make interchangable versions (I plan to make spiked-up hair in yellow, half yellow/black, and fully black) while the tip of it is magnetic so it lies flat against the base. his tongue is also magnetic. I was originally going to make magnetic eyelids, but in all honesty, I might prefer to make them velcro as they tend to be easier to adjust + more secure than magnetic ones.

the part I hated making the most was his tail, not because it's bad, but because when I was almost done with it my dog got to it and chewed it apart.

you can see there's an awkward little bump along the top near where the light yellow and black fur connect-- when im wearing the tail that bump makes it look broken. but since he's so mangled anyway it can just be considered part of his design since I didn't add any scars to it

the tail feathers were a bit of a nightmare to make but the progress shots are cool

the part I loved making the most, and that im most proud of, is the bodysuit. I thought the scars were going to be a nightmare to sew, but they were actually the most fun and I love how they turned out!! he will be getting an interchangable mane down his back as well but I didn't have the time to finish it. I might also extend the shoulders a little for a better fit, particularly the left as theres a noticeable gap between the suit and the prosthetic as it is.

I showed this video of the pattern to a friend at When Furballs Strike a few weeks back and she told me I was insane. she is correct, and I'm fairly sure me actually finishing the bodysuit in a week only proves it further. but I did it anyway, and I had fun doing it.

Fur used: Yellow (Hair/Mane, Tail Feathers): HowlFabric Buttercup Luxury Shag Light Yellow (Main Body/Face): MofuMofu Mi Yellow Long Fur White (Neck, Top Surgery Scars, Tail): BigZFabric White Short Shag Brown (Ears, Tail Feathers): HowlFabric Fossil Grey Luxury Teddy Black (Arm, Tail): HowlFabric Natural Black Luxury Teddy Scars: HowlFabric Salmon Minky Tongue: HowlFabric Banana Minky Inner Mouth: HowlFabric Vanilla Minky Inner Ears: BigZFabric White Minky

note about the mofumofu fur: it's pretty thin, if you trim too much you can see the backing through it. HOWEVER. this proved to be a positive for the bodysuit, as it's MUCH more breathable than thicker furs like howl's and bigz's. (for the one day I could make it to ECCC and two days of Vancoufur, I wore this suit for 10-12 hours straight with a sweatshirt underneath and never felt like I was overheating, the minky scars most likely helped with it but STILL??) it also doesn't get as matted. whether or not it's worth the $55/yd price depends on what you need it for, if it's within your price range and you're particularly sensitive to heat, I'd say go for it. I only needed a yard for this as I'm kindof a little guy (5'5", 120lbs) so it was worth it for me.