#its not gonna make me stop the comic since i have it all scripted

[sad-leon]

Part 12! Hugs :D

You know that feeling when its the littlest thing that breaks you down? Like you could beat anything that comes your way, but a simple, menial task is what causes you to break down? That's how Leo's feeling

Masterpost || Next

[comicaurora]

What are your thoughts on guardians vol.3? (If you have watched it) I went into it, expecting it went to the garbage like the rest of the mcu, but I was pleasantly surprised by its creativity, trope subversion, and how it wrapped up the previously unresolved arks of its characters.

That's what I've heard!

The thing is, Guardians 3 could be the most transcendent work of cinema ever made, and I'd probably still feel little to no motivation to watch it at this point. It's not Guardians's fault - it's just suffering from the same problem that superhero comics have been struggling with for decades: no matter how good an individual arc or run is, absolutely nothing good lasts or matters in the long term, and the stories are shaped in such a way that "the long term" is the only thing anyone gets to build towards.

Whenever I complain about the MCU I get a handful of people loudly complaining about my complaining, with the general thesis that if I don't like it I shouldn't watch it or talk about it - if I'm not having fun, just stop engaging with it. And the thing is, I have. I am intellectually interested in why this massive franchise is fumbling the bag so hard, which is why I still check in on it sometimes, but I've long since stopped turning to the MCU for uncritical entertainment. And even the good movies or shows with a lot of interesting ideas - good character arcs, fun concepts, interesting planting for future payoff - don't draw me in anymore, because they're hooked into a massive moneymaking machine that will scrap and squander anything if they think it'll make them more in the quarter. It doesn't matter how good the writing is, because the writers are not allowed to tell a complete, finished story, and they have no control over what happens to their characters outside of their own script.

Captain America's arc was set up from literally minute one to answer one burning question at the core of his character: does a world without a war still need Captain America? After that incredibly basic tee-up at the end of First Avenger, half a dozen movies failed to come up with a reason to say "yes," and now Steve is retired for good after getting fumbled through four different storylines that couldn't even pretend that they needed him (the unused Chekhov's Phone from the end of Civil War still haunts me). The foundational arc of his entire character never happened because nobody bothered to keep track of it past a single movie.

Taika did something interesting with Thor in Ragnarok - take away Mjolnir, force him to recognize what it means to be the god of thunder, give him a very Odin-y missing eye - and the very next movie undid all of it. Just kidding, never mind, here's an eye and a new weapon and also his old weapon again, and in one more movie we're even gonna give him his hair back, probably as an apology for all the completely unironic fatphobia we're gonna slather him in for two and a half hours. I'm not even surprised Love And Thunder was such an overblown mess that barely took itself seriously - why would Taika bother trying to give Thor another arc when the powers that be will just roll it back in six months anyway?

I hear Rocket Raccoon has a fantastic arc in this movie. That's great, and demonstrates that he's being written by a writer that deeply cares about him. But he's part of the MCU, and the MCU doesn't let anything end, so if current patterns hold, Rocket is going to continue to serve as quippy plushie-bait for the next dozen movies and none of that depth is going to come through in the long term. Hell, since they're making Kang noises for the Next Big Threat and Kang's entire gimmick is rewriting timelines, literally none of this is guaranteed to matter. By next year, it might not have even happened anymore.

The MCU has successfully shaped itself into a paradigm where the bright spots of good writing are overridden and lost as soon as the writers room turns over, and that makes it really hard for me to muster up the enthusiasm to watch even a really good movie that's locked into the exact same grist mill as everything else. I'm glad people liked it, I hope it gets to stay good this time - I just have no desire to watch it.

[zarla-s]

Man it's been a long time since I've done an ask cluster! Let's see if I can get some down...

He's an extremely fun character to write for and play with! So in that sense I'm fond of him, haha. He's such a huge disaster of a person, there's always something fun to do with him. Well "fun" in a relative sense.

I don't have anything to forgive him for, he didn't hurt me. |D He hurt the brothers!

I do have an idea for a cute feature inspired by Six-Eared Macaque! I should really sit down and do that already... and finish the one I half started but never finished...

I don't think my opinion on any of them changed! I love them all, haha. Which ones I drew comics about just depends on which ones I get ideas for really. Sometimes I get Alphys ideas and sometimes I get Goatparents ideas! Inspiration is fickle!

I don't have any solid plans or anything. :B Just gonna keep chugging along with silly comics and art! Work on Defrag and such. I'd like to finish a Ladyverse comic I've had lying around forever, and I had vague plans for doing a doujin for them too I could work on... and also seeing if I could format Handplates into a book format... I've always got a bunch of projects, haha.

It works on that level! It wasn't intentional though. |D

I do enjoy speculation! I don't really have much of my own though, I didn't predict anything in chapter 2 so now I'm assuming I can't predict anything in the future chapters either, haha.

Emesis Blue is great! Some really beautiful visuals in there, very striking! Love the mood of it too and a lot of the surreal imagery. I think it helped spur me back into TF2 again, haha. Medic and Scout's relationship was so cute.

I have thought about this! It has its share of challenges though... I outlined them more in this post. A pdf would be more doable though... could even include some extra stuff as well! Hmm...

I can see that! He'd probably spend as much time out in the rain as he could just doing whatever to stay outside.

It was pretty much always going to end like that. I always wanted it to end on a hopeful note! Which might seem weird with how dark it is at the beginning. I DID for a brief period at the very beginning of Handplates think about stopping with the Pacifist run, but that was only because I thought going where I wanted to go would take too long and already the project seemed so dauntingly huge at the time, haha. But it was always going to end in a positive way!

Gaster talks about what he originally intended to create here, and he explains a bit about the physical experiments he runs on the brothers here. They aren't really a solution in and of themselves so much as tools to try and find a way to break the barrier. Really though, Gaster got stuck in the sunk-cost fallacy lol.

I don't really have opinions about what canon Gaster would be like. |D Handplates Gaster is his own thing really. Canon Gaster, who knows! Deltarune Gaster, who knows! I will say I hope Gaster stays a mystery in Deltarune and never actually shows up but I think the odds of that are really low at this point.

I thought about doing a script along those lines! I did a few rough drafts of one, but it never really went anywhere... it'd end up dead-ending or kind of meandering off. I might see if I can get an actual script down for a side-comic or something in the future... it might be better suited for a fic.

I was just thinking about this lately! I was picturing Gaster totally forgetting about that until he sees Papyrus squinting and is like OH GOD YOUR EYES THAT'S RIGHT D: and goes to get him looked at lol.

I couldn't come up with a good idea for Flowey which is a shame, I do like him, haha. If one comes to me though I might make a little side comic about it!

Gaster's LV is complicated... his stats in-game are ludicrous if I recall correctly. Did he carry the damage from his murders into the void, even if those murders weren't his in the new timeline? Deep thoughts.

He fed them anything he could find, haha. Which is why sometimes they just ended up with chocolate bars (which he intended as dinner for himself). He probably fed them more often than he fed himself lol. He did feed them fairly regularly though.

Not about skeletons, probably. |D

Man I know I had an explanation for this but it was so long ago... it's hard for me to remember. It could be that the Riverperson is just weird and has weird insight into elements of things, had a prophetic dream... I don't know! It bugs me now that I can't remember this, haha.

[onejellyfishplease]

Out of curiosity, have you ever listened to "Control" by Halsey? Because now I can't unsee the SnapDonnie animations that pop into my head whenever I listen to that song. I already have a full animatic scripted and planned out. Whether I have the executive function to actually complete it, we'll have to wait and see

On a somewhat related note; I absolutely love it whenever comics use limited color palettes that change every chapter. Pinetreevillain does something similar in his RotTMNT comics, and it's always so fun to look at.

I might use that idea to make my currently non-existent animatic a bit more visually interesting...

ooh its been a while since ive listened to it (but im playing it again rn)

AND HOLY SHIT!??? THE LYRICS FIT SO WELL?? and the VIBES!??? this is literally perfect!!! (adding it to my snapdonnie playlist rn) (who is in control?? and all the kids cried out please stop youre scaring me, i cant help this awful energy!)

And Im glad you like my colour pallette idea! im gonna have a lot of fun with it! <3

And why do people keep threatening me with Animations!??? that would be amazing omg!!!

[spearheadrampancy]

So... if you don't mind me asking how've you been?

hoo boy. yeah. tldr: alive!

quite a fair chunk of shit happened i think. when i redownloaded the app i weighed up if i was gonna make a post abt what's happened, but ultimately decided against it bc i wasnt sure how active i was gonna be. looks like the answer is very, so i might as well for anyone who's curious (:

on with the details in no particular order!

just before we stopped posting, we mentioned how the company we worked for announced big profits, an expenses-paid trip for the top employees, and also the tiny small news that the team we were on was getting downsized from 20 ppl total to about 3 (6 to 1 for my role specifically). well, we did end up losing our job completely because the company was unwilling to make reasonable adjustments so we could move to the same role in a different team (we don't have any legal grounds to take action unfortunately). but this was fine for us bc we grew jaded with how management was doing shit anyway. they also laid off about 700 people from across the company a few months later.

we spent months trying to find a job, and eventually applied to university on a whim. we got in! we're studying game design and are currently in foundation year (level 0) of the course. we were pretty worried about "fitting in" and suff but honestly we made friends instantly and it turns out a lot of lgbt autistic folks are studying game design foundation year. strange! (/s). its a little weird being part of the popular clique now.

we built a site. a real one! with colours and scripts and all that! a couple sites, actually, but only one is what we're comfortable sharing publicly (other site is sys member info for friends to reference). the site is on neocities, available here. we got really into coding for realsies around the time that we stopped posting. we also got into something called choicescript, but the site took priority as we use it as a digital portfolio. we also started practicing API work by making little tools for the discord bot pluralkit, but they are. uh. far from finished

we got an rgb bulb that actually works with shortcuts, so it inspired us to actually code shortcuts again. they're pretty advanced now; we have a series of them dedicated to forcing us to sleep (it obviously isnt working given i'm still awake at 4am !!), but they're really smooth and helpful

we started drawing properly again (i know we've posted a lot of art on here but most of it is low effort memes. and also none of it was trad art, which we got back into), in order to prep for being asked for a portfolio for uni. which we eventually didnt even get asked for. we opened an instagram account to post it to while we work on getting our art on our actual site, and recently a deviantart account for crossposting.

i stopped writing. i also largely stopped building on my ideas for games and comics and such. this was more because i had More Pressing Things to be writing about, like our CV, and our applications, but i havent really picked it back up. in a bit of a plateau of inspiration rn. wanna fix that though.

we started playing hotline miami, which we'd been meaning to do for years. completed the first, got halfway into the second before a TERRIBLE AWFUL THUMB INJURY (dramatic. didnt even need glue) rendered us entirely unable to use a controller. it healed but we havent finished the second yet. today's actually the first time since august that we've even touched a controller, let alone played any games.

we got back into making music. we decided the system was going to start releasing music as a collective, so we set up a whole youtube channel and stuff for it. videos'll start january 1st, we hope.

i convinced two people to watch red vs blue. my token cishet guy friend who was my colleague at Shitty Workplace (i sent him slutty locus from earlier and his only response was "amazing") and one of my new uni friends (very autistic i think they will go feral for it). token cishet just finished season 8 and uni friend is in season 3 i believe.

health wise has been. a ride... our normal gp stopped practicing entirely, and we dont trust the other gp's at our clinic, so we've been entirely unmedicated and unchecked since november of last year, barring OTC stuff. except for the part where at the end of october we finally saw a rheumatologist (after being referred in 2019!) who said we probably had fibromyalgia. earlier this month we also caught some Mystery Illness that lasted two weeks and nobody knew what it was. our voice still hasnt recovered fully and the whole experience was weird, but the hospital nurse wasnt concerned and it didnt come back as positive for That One Illness That Got Really Popular In The Last Three Years so its honestly likely that it was just the regular old flu, which we werent used to after only really suffering from Disabled Person Sicknesses for the best part of the last 15 years.

we met steve downes and jen taylor, the voice actors of halo's master chief and cortana! got photos & signatures (: steve complimented my jacket and jen Really Wanted A Nap.

WE GOT THE GRIFBALL PLUSH (: i would make this bigger if i could. it's just one of those Material Gains that has a lot of sentimental value to us. and i found my glow in the dark ring which i cried about. again: material gains of high personal significance.

so yeah! a lot. im probably missing something because i have the brain of a sieve. but we're alive and thats the important part.

[syrupyy]

lilybell cookie and candy diver cookie uploaded to cookie comic creator, cookie run comic studio and cookie simulator!! but i know these update comics don't get the numbers they used to, so i'm gonna take this opportunity to talk about this - why the process of adding new cookies takes so long, and why i'm the only person that can do it

this time around i got a lot of offers to help, which - while appreciated - i could not accept, because there's a lot of specific work that needs to be done to add a new cookie to the ovenbreak section

i'm pretty sure i mentioned this before, but all work on the ovenbreak section is bottlenecked by cookie comic creator. the python script to convert ovenbreak's data download into a set of sprites usable by the site was put together in a matter of days nearly a year ago, and the process is very slow - and i usually have to run it multiple times, since i often get some sprites wrong the first time and the only way to change sprites other than hand-removing them from the sprite list file is to recompile everything

i planned to rewrite this whole process for cookie run comic studio, but two things happened: 1. some people continued to use the old site instead of the new one, especially in a couple specific countries - most notably, cookiecomiccreator.co gets 3x as many users from south korea as cookierun.comic.studio does 2. i started to realize that the only improvements i could really make to this build process would be to make it faster/multi-threaded and add a way to only modify certain sprites. which cookie comic creator USED to have something for, until i added a new feature that required everything to be recompiled every time again and because of this i kinda lost my motivation to rewrite the build process, since the current process does still work even if it takes an hour of busywork to do each time

that's not the only thing that stops this however. the reason i was unable to make good on my promise to get this done yesterday was because i've also been running into issues just getting the files, as it relies on an android emulator to download the game data and well you know how unreliable those can be as my current setup doesn't have a working google play store, i have to redownload the apk every update, and each time something goes horribly wrong in the process either in the installation breaking or the data not copying over to my computer properly/not playing well with the python script requiring some editing to work again

this time the issues were so bad that by the time i had gotten the game data, it was nearly 3 am and i needed to go to sleep or risk not being able to do so because of how poor my sleep schedule is now, unlike people offering to get all the individual sprites for me, i COULD actually start accepting donations of game data, since that i can guarantee will be used correctly. it's just that i don't just need the spritesheets, but also the .plist files that provide all the information on how to decompile them, and additionally i also need the sprites and .plists for the lobby sprites, the "duel sprites" (unused high-res cookie jump/run sprites that are nice to have), exhausted sprite, any new story sprites/usable backgrounds and new jellies. all of which is way too much to ask of anyone else when all i have to do is download the game files myself and manually adjust until everything works

this is all not to mention the timing of updates - usually they drop late at night, when i've already done a bunch of work for the day and am too exhausted to take the time to figure out everything i need to do to get new ovenbreak sprites in. i can make promises to have them done the next day, but by coincidence these updates usually drop right before a day where i'm forced to take time off from working - for context, i take medicine for my adhd, and because of the serotonin tolerance buildup it induces i cannot take it for more than 6-7 days in a row without it losing its effectiveness on me - so i'm forced to take a day off every week, or i'll risk not being able to work for even longer. and without my medicine it's hard for me to get myself to sit down and run a python script then comb through hundreds of images and repeat for an hour

i apologize if this post comes off at all whiny - i'm happy to be helping out the fandom with this site, and i love being able to treat this as a part time job thanks to the support i get from it!! but, since i keep such a high standard of quality for the comic creators, and since i get so many people offering to help, i figured i'd put all the information out there at once at some point in the future, i'll finally get around to rewriting this build process, and i'll also open source it so that those who want to give it a shot themselves can do so. but for the time being, i choose to put myself through this for the sake of quality - i hope you can forgive the time it takes

[thefearandnow]

Audio Drama Sunday: 11/29/22

So its been almost a full month since I stopped checking Twitter and one of the things that I always loved reading on a Sunday was all the lovely Audio Drama Sunday threads where I discovered a ton of amazing fiction podcasts. Inspired by those and my goal to write more on tumblr I thought it'd be fun to put together my first Audio Drama Sunday post and try to make it a semi-regular thing. Mostly to just get my thoughts down and get through my listening backlog but also for podcast recommendations!

Quiet Part Loud

I posted about this a couple weeks ago (I'm including the past two weeks in this post) but Quiet Part Loud is high on my list for favorite podcasts of the year. The Monkeypaw created, Mac Rogers written, Jordan Peele executive produced Gimlet show really delivered on the hype and I'm excited that there's possibly going to be a season 2. Though the premise sounds very similar to like a Limetown/Black Tapes sort of podcaster/investigator type of thing going on, the way it's written actually reminded me more of last year's comedy series Dark Air starring Raine Wilson (though of course this one is squarely horror, also very Burned Photo in terms of plot). They do an excellent job conceptually and aesthetically grappling with audio as a vehicle for social terror across history and mediums, which is the type of shit I live for! I thought the story was really well paced, the second half of the series had some incredible stand out episodes and the last two episodes were very satisfying. I think this show has a ton of re-listen value and I'm excited to see what happens in the next season. The only bad part of this podcast is that it's a Spotify exclusive so not as many people can listen and I'm not really sure it's worth a subscription if you don't already have it. But if you already have Spotify and love horror I can't recommend enough!

The Goblet Wire

The Goblet Wire is probably one of the more unique podcasts I've listened to: a surreal horror scripted role-playing collection of bite sized portraits (it'd be a stretch to call some of them stories). Very similar to John Darnielle's Wolf in White Van. And last week I finally listened to the last two episodes, which I thought really helped give the whole first batch of episodes a true sense of a series arc. Which I don't think it necessarily needed, but it felt like the end of a season y'know? I love the writing, the simplicity of the format but complexity of the imagery. It's such an open ended concept and I'm looking forward to hearing what the next set of writers do in the next batch of episodes. On top of the show itself being fun to listen to it's just like an incredible thing to exist as a platform for indie fiction podcast creators to collaborate on and make crazy shit. I've got a ton of other podcasts to check out from the plugs at the end of each episode and it just feels so like underground comics community vibe.

We're Alive: Descendants

We're Alive was the first audio drama I ever listened to but I dropped off somewhere in the middle. I tried to get back into with with Gold Rush but felt too lost from the original story line and felt intimidated by going all the way back. But when I saw that they were doing this most recent Descendants season I decided to give it another shot and... it's sorta like my guilty pleasure listening. Like it's nostalgic mainly. It's like their Hunger Games moment which I'm into but for the most part everything that I'm excited about so far during the season gets watered down in clunky dialogue or slow moving plot points. And overall the episodes end up being too long and kinda boring. This last week I listened to Episode 7 (parts 1 and 2 which is a whole other thing) and I can't tell if it all went over my head because of a ton of lore and character work I missed but I definitely felt confused. I'm still gonna keep listening cause at this point I'm invested in figuring out how it all goes down from a story perspective and it feels like this next episode will finally connect the two concurrent story lines. I'm curious to see if longtime fans have enjoyed this season; I've found it an easier entry point than Gold Rush and I like hearing about the regional evolution of the infected, I'm definitely enjoying it even if it's a bit slow.

Welcome to Night Vale

Seems a bit basic to be adding WTNV here but I have been inspired recently to go back to some select episodes, all of them recommendations from this post. And yeah: Night Vale is still such a classic with hilarious writing, fun concepts and undeniably influential style. So far I've only listened to a few early episodes (The Glow Cloud episode is 100% gold) that I was already familiar with and it's been really interesting to listen back to them after listening to Start With This for the past few months. I have a completely different appreciation for what they were doing with this show as it was coming out, like when I was heavy into Night Vale I think I took it for granted that this show existed and was perfectly weird and couldn't really wrap my head around the talent and thought that went into making it so special. I'm really enjoying my trip down memory lane but I'm also really excited to hear some new ones y'all recommended so I'll probably be carving out some space for future posts about my wtnv backlog.

Honorable Mention:

This isn't audio drama but I do want to note that the "Qatar's World Cup" episode of Throughline was really a great listen and worth the hour or so for anyone who's even vaguely following the World Cup or if you saw that John Oliver video. Throughline is one of my fave non-fiction podcasts and episodes like this one feel especially valuable in terms of their research and production.

[starvels]

I've been losing it trying to figure out America's age. We know she was orphaned when she was ~7 years old from the Young Avengers run, and her latest solo run puts that happening 13 years ago, which would make her 20/21. We know she joined the Teen Brigade when she was 16. We also know that Kieron Gillen originally said she was 2-3 years older than the majority of the Young Avengers, making her 23-24 during the run. (1/3)

He later said she was 17/18 along with David, making her 3 years younger than Kate and 4 years younger than Noh-Varr. Or maybe not, because her running off to join the Teen Brigade is also stated in her solo run to have happened three years ago, making her 19 (despite the fact that the similarly-aged David is canonically at least 21) and also meaning that only 1-2 years have passed in-universe since the events of Young Avengers. (2/3)

Or maybe not, because the same fucking comic also flashes back to the night her moms died in a later issue and says it was 15 years ago (not 13 as previously mentioned), making her 22. I hate you comic book character ages I hate you. (3/3)

yeah bud, this is a right headache. they've always fucked w her age a lot tbh. and i don't overly care in the sense that she's a multiversal traveler w some starry galactic powers - it makes sense that her relationship to time would be a bit different, but i do care abt them constantly trying to retcon and reconfigure her past for kinda no purpose (i'm a utopian parallel apologist sorry not sorry i think its a more fun compelling backstory, but whatev).

i personally feel like with marvel sliding time scale taken into account, yeah maybe only a year or two has passed since young avengers and i'm fine w that, but she's now had over three tenures on super teams plus her own vigilante time, plus her own apparently numerous multiversal/timeline adventures? so imho that makes it reasonable to me that she's early twenties.

the way she's written in young avengers also does give that impression. she seems like that's where she is in her story and how she relates to the other characters (particularly kid loki and kate, who IS canonically older than most of the rest of the YA too, SO!) that also seems reasonable. i don't loooove her characterization in all of her solo run bc i do feel like she sometimes flips between typical young 20s finding shit out and discovering herself and a younger on the cusp of adulthood, very bouncy idealistic sort of teen and that feels incongruous with her in a lot of different runs and her continued growth.

so! i choose to see her as like, 22ish physically, probably more multiverse weary and having a complicated relationship with aging and her own perception of individual self. and here she will probably stay for a long while, as she occupies that 'young avengers' category and they keep the main avengers teams at 30-something ish and don't let them age either.

and just like those other characters, we are never gonna get a solid age. tis the Comic of It All

i agree w ya tho!! yeahhhh writers should stop trying because it never ages well and also they have so much trouble keeping track of their own timing in their own goddamn runs or later as a retcon/comment (INFURIATING. what do you mean, i beta my stuff but they don't have to fucking fact check AGAINST THEIR OWN SCRIPT at all??? NO TAKEBACKS. DO IT RIGHT and never use a number when you don't have to dodos!!!)

anyways its terrible!! no good! everything is made up and the points don't matter, at least america will always kick ass and be the stargirl we all need!!

[mokutone]

since we are all in our sad yamato feelings tonight. im just gonna post this snippet of comic. it's post yamato being rescue'd, while he's still recovering. and it is not going well.

rough script of the page:

Kakashi is sitting in a chair next to Yamato's hospital bed, book in hand but not reading it.

Kakashi: —And you're currently her patient. You shouldn't be focusing on anything but your own healing.

Yamato is lying in bed, one hand covering his eyes, uses the other to flash a quick hand signal communicating his frustration.

Kakashi: Let alone trying to manage a hospital environment for her.

Yamato looks to the side, away from Kakashi.

Kakashi looks down at him, eyebrows low and furrowed in the middle in sympathetic pain.

Looking away from Yamato, Kakashi says: "It's not your fault, Yamato. You couldn't have stopped it.

Yamato whips his head around to fix Kakashi with a furious look.

Kakashi leans over the hospital bed. Hands raised in frustration.

Kakashi: What—what do you want me to say? That you could've tried harder? Do you want me to blame you for being a prisoner of war?

Yamato doesn't look at him, staring straight ahead.

Kakashi: Well, I won't.

Yamato turns his head away.

Kakashi: And neither will anybody else.

Yamato brings his hand up to his face again, rubbing it furiously.

Yamato uses two more hand signals, asking Kakashi to "Please, drop it."

In this last panel, we see Yamato's arm hanging off the bed, but close up, we see Kakashi's hand tighten on his own knee.

Kakashi: Ah.

Kakashi: Sorry.

———————————————

So like. plainly speaking (and plainly speaking abt like, ptsd + trauma + other various miserable things) a lot of the comic which this is a snippet of is about like. Yamato struggling to kind of regain control over his identity and his story, post-war-arc.

this interaction here is about yamato struggling with the fact that this entire situation was absolutely out of his control, and that there was nothing that he could've done to stop it—something which is particularly hard to accept, because it feels like that means that it could happen again. and again. and again.

but this is the nature of untreated trauma, right, living in fear of it.

he's refusing to accept that it isn't his fault because he feels like, if it is his fault, then its something he could fix, if he could just figure out what it is he needs to control about himself in order to avoid it.

kakashi is struggling to see Yamato refuse this, because taking on the blame for this situation is. absolutely horrifying. practically speaking, the fact that Yamato being captured wasn't yamato's fault doesn't mean that it's going to happen again. it's literally accepting the blame for something that's not his fault! that is going to hurt him!!!

But also. Yamato isn't in a space where he's ready to hear that! he does not feel safe enough to let his guard down even that much.

And really, Kakashi isn't a stranger to these thoughts either. It's not as though he hasn't spent his whole teenage + adult life trying to make himself responsible for everyone around him.

[neptune-midheaven]

The Third House Placements and Their Handwriting Styles ~💖🌺🐚

Welcome back babes 😁🙏✨ I’m back posting someee bit but anything nonetheless ! This was a post I wanted to do for a while, this really intrigued me💫

I’m going to be talking about third house placements and their unique to the placement writing styles. Third house rules hands, arms, fingers and writing, correct !😄🎶 There is a correlation between handwriting and third house in astrology as it literlaly rules over it, so components in your third house astrology will dictate how this will look. Use all of the possible combinations you have in your chart ! 🙂☝️

For generational planet ruled signs, use whatever works better.

🔆Sun/leo ~

May have a gift in being very dramatic and showy whenever they express their ideas or in their communication they can be very bright and charming. They’re very talented at absorbing knowledge and facts, they usually are the types of people to dish out random facts about anything whoever you’re talking to them, they have so much random knowledge kept in their minds it’s almost funny. They’re silly and a bit childlike people,

Handwriting style 🦁

Regal, nice looking. They have a confidence to their writing, if the whole class wrote on one piece of paper, theirs would stand out more, maybe a “I can trust what they write is the best there is here” is what people reading over theirs would think.

🌙Moon/cancer ~

Loves sentimental things, talking about the past and family makes them feel good and safe, attachments to the mother, most likely missed her or their family whenever they had to go to school, homesickness at school

Handwriting style 🌝

Soft, homely words. Shyer? They write with a grace and their words are poetically beautiful. It looks like something out of a movie. Nostalgic, their ink is softer and lighter, their curves are soft, their lines and o’s are soft and so sensitive. SO gentle and calm. It’s sleepy?

💫Mercury/gemini/virgo ~

The wittiest, most social people ever. They’re all definitely extroverts, I am one with my gemini in 3rd house ova here 😘, they love talking, and never stop talking and love chatting about anything and never stop chatting about anything, they love walking up to random people and never stop walking up to random people and staring a convo with them out of nowhere 😀. My friends bully me all the time for this. I understand. The one kid in school with like all the answers, they just knew the answer to things and easily got good grades. People asked them for answers all of the time since they are so smart and intelligent, they absorb what they’re being taught so quickly they don’t ever let the teacher finish talking. They’re fast and versatile.

Handwriting style 🤸‍♀️

Fast writing, so many words. They write super fast and probably have so many typos in their essays and papers. Handwriting can look like crap 🤨😐. Like there’s no rush, you’re gonna get your paper done on time! You can’t read what they write al of the time because they rush through writing everything. Their letters and words look fancy somehow, like they were written by the scholar of all scholars, they’re just unintelligible words and sentences. Teachers may need to ask what the student with this placement writes because they can’t read it. Scribbles, jumbled and mixing up things all over the page. You can tell they write fast with the jagged lines and crooked n’s and t’s ajakksks.

💕Venus/taurus/libra ~

Very sweet and charming way of talking to others, they have strong persuasive powers with their honeyed words, they can almost charm you into doing anything, they seem so innocent and sweet. These people are very kind though of course! They love giving others compliments, strangers, their friends, their family, they’re such sweet people to have in your life. They attract partners and relationships by doing their daily tasks, lovers can show up suddenly when they’re running errands or they can attract a lot of interest at their school.

Handwriting style 🍓

The most pleasant, aesthetic handwriting i have ever seen, even if their handwriting is bad it still becomes an art style somehow, i don’t really know how else to describe that. It’s like no matter how bad it could possibly look or how incoherent it is, their script still manages to look NICE.

💥Mars/aries ~

Very loud voices, a bit like sun, but it’s more like their power and strength is used whenever they talk. They could be meaner or aggressive classmates, angry talkers, I know so many people with this placement who talk so mad, so much cursing, ranting and screaming. We love it all.

Handwriting style 🥵

Very rough and fast handwriting, similar to mercury; however, it has more fervor, the messiest and most impulsive handwriting out of all of the other placements.

🐚Jupiter/sagittarius ~

Loud and expressive communicators, similar to the sun here, but they’re louder and bigger. You can hear their voices from across the room and they’re usually the know-it-all’s in the classroom. Very friendly and fun to talk to, they talk about so many exotic and interesting things. They love to crack a joke or two. Also, it’s something about these peoples voices are just FUNNY. Like how they talk is like hilarious and jolly in a good way. It make you wanna crack up and feel good. They make you feel good and BLESSED when they talk to you.

Handwriting style 🍀

Larger letters, I’ve noticed they have bigger “holes” and like to expand their letters over the pages, their words go over the lines and it could be messy usually, sort of like mars fashion but it’s just wider words on the paper.

🪐Saturn/capricorn ~

Very punctual people with perfect punctuation. They hate it whenever their thoughts are messy or unorganized, it makes it hard for them to think thoroughly like they are expected to. They’re the smarter most mature minds in the room. Very deep, daddy voices. IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT. THEY SOUND LIKE THEIR DADS. ITS CRAZY. They talk with so authority and sureness, their diction is so perfect it makes everyone mad.

Handwriting style ✏️

Perfect handwriting, they hate it when their sentences look off or unstructured on a page. The most rounded o’s, the straightest lines and perfect length for every letter they write. Correct punctuation once again, their words look like they were printed by a typewriter.

🌪Uranus/aquarius ~

Very different minds, they could feel strange or odd in school, like they were just the oddball learners, had weird interests, or was a huge nerd over so many subjects. Crazy coffee drinkers, the ones with monster drinks and twenty textbooks that are about to fall out of their open backpacks because they rushed to get to school on time. The craziest people actually, their minds are like on drugs, they can be hard to keep up with.

Handwriting style ⚡️

Weird ways they write certain styles of their letters and their words can “come out” of the page. They write SO fast this is usually why they take harder classes in school with more work just solely on the fact they can write much faster than anyone else. Maybe comic-book looking writing? They’re dynamic and crazy like harsh lines and crazy o’s, there’s something unique about the way they write.

🌊Neptune/pisces ~

Such idealistic thinkers. They want to see the good in their surroundings, they do need to be careful with this because surroundings and things can be deceiving. They can absorb such much of their surroundings, they can be quieter communicators because of this. It can be taken advantage of since they’re overwhelmed by conversations or they can be easily fooled by the wrong people. Like they believe things that aren’t even true? Or they like tell a lot of white lies when they’re talking that make people go like uhh is that even true?😀😀 But they play it off when they’re caught lying, it’s very deceptive. The quietest kids in school that either did drugs or tried to escape class by doing some illegal stuff, or they just left. Some were never seen at school.

Handwriting style 🌀

The sleepiest handwriting I’ve ever seen. It’s provably hard to read what they write. Faded words maybe? Faded words on faded paper. So poetic though, it’s pretty but not in a venus way, it like captivates you. It’s hypnotizing they way they draw out their e’s and their a’s have a dreamy tail that connects to their next letter.

🥀Pluto/scorpio ~

Obsessive minds, they want to know everything possible, they want to reach the deepest depths on information and knowledge. They are motived and driven to know as much as they can, and they always seem to succeed. They’re very smart. The kids in school who would keep to themselves or would obsess over what the teacher taught them, the way they communicate is like they’ve read the same page over and over again for days. Obsessive.

Handwriting style 🖤

Darker, hard to see words, they can have obsessive writing. It’s perfect but fast writing, maybe a bit scary that they have the ability to write so much with so much power? People can be freaked out with just how much they know already. So their words can be very persuasive, so the letters would be magnetic, you love their writing once you read one of their essays. You’re obsessed, just like they are.

[nebelihood]

Written Continuation of The Looney Tunes Show Comic

//I never write scripts cause I hate them, I like to draw everything, like go directly to the storyboard you might say, but I don't have time rn and yesterday before going to sleep this idea came to me so I wrote a crappy script of how the episode might go.

Here's the link to what I'm talking about

ALSO- here idk if Bugs and Daffy are dating, Lola and Bugs aren't but idk how things are, It's kinda hard to imagine them together ON THE ACTUAL SHOw, since Daffy is kinda mean here and idk I didn't want to make it toxic, I'll figure something out, just imagine this as if it was the actual show//

Crappy script:

//Also, any suggestion on how to improve, I will really appreciate them! I know I didn't write the INT/DAY/BUGS' HOUSE thingy but I completely forgot, sorry. Also some verbs might be wrong and some words might be incorrect, sorry//

Bugs inside the house is putting batteries on the remote control when his phone starts ringing. it's porky and he's nervous.

Porky:b-b-bugs!

Bugs: Hi porky, what's up?

Porky: b-b-bugs you gotta- gotta help!!!

Bugs worried now: what's wrong?

Porky:t-t-this weekend i-im gonna celebrate my anniversary w-w-with Petunia! I-i don't know what to do!

Bugs moving himself around the house: Just take her to dinner in a nice place

Porky upset: I-I can't do that! T-thats t-t-too ch-cheap a-and c-careless! It has to be something big! What did y-you for y-your anniversary w-with Lola?

Bugs with an annoyed and bored face: We went to dinner on a nice place.

Pory: O-oh...

Lola and Daffy make their way inside the house and go to rhe sofa without the groceries. Bugs looks at them in confusion while heads out of the house.

Bugs: I don't know porky! What does she like? Maybe you can do something she likes for your anniversary.

Porky full of excitement:O-oh! She loves roller coasters a-and-

Bugs happy to find a good idea: That's perfect! The Roller coasters fair is coming up this weekend!

Porky now worried: O-Oh...

Bugs confused: what?

Porky: I-I don't kn-know, I-Im scared of rolller coasters.

Bugs with a tired face: Oh boy...

Porky: I-I don't know Bugs,.I-I'll try t-t-to th-think on something else

Bugs: Okay Porks

They both hang up.

Bugs realices that all the groceries are inside the car and no one helped. He looks back at the house annoyed.

-Short black screen-

Bugs finising putting the groceries inside the kitchen

Bugs annoyed: I little help would have been nice

Daffy annoyingly watching the tv: Yeah, I agree, but the chófer wasted too much time parking and messed everything up!

Bugs rolls his eyes angrily but starts watching the show from the kitchen cause something called his attention.

Police off duty: (I forgot the name of the Chófer so I'll call him Frank) Frank! You really messed up, if you had been on time we wouldn't have stopped him!

Frank: (I also forgot the name of the police so I'll call him huh... P cause i think he was a police) I think you are under appreciating my help, P

P: Huh?

A close up begins on the Frank character as he says: I wake up and drive you whenever you call me, I'm always there on time and I never whine, we always catch the bag guys but this time since I was a little distracted with something. I don't mind doing these things for you but I'd certainly appreciate a little gratitude from you.

P: You are right Frank, I'm sorry

Now we can dee Bugs who is really surprised with how the episode went really well with the situation. Now Bugs looks at Daffy with a not surprised face.

Bugs: Does that ring any bells, Daffy?

Daffy frowns thinking.

Daffy: Hmmmn... Oh yeah! You forgot to buy these things from the grocerie store.

Daffy hands a list without even looking towards Bugs. Bugs with all hope lost rolls his eyes and sighs as he takes the list. Bugs starts heading out. (i think Lola could say something funny here to close the scene but I couldn't of what, i thought she could ask Bugs ro bring her something from the store or both, daffy and Lola called him simp at the same time when bugs left the house but idkk,tske any of those options)

-another short black screen??-

Bugs at the store with a shipping car and looking at the things he still need to get with a sort of tired sad face. From a distance a selling voice says: Are you tired from doing everything at home?! Are you tired of people always depending on you?! Are you tired of your clingy roommate who can't do anything by himself?!

Bugs half surprised and half confused: These things keep conveniently happening.

Bugs get closer to the place where the voice is. Its a small circus like local inside the shop. (Sort of where people read the future in fairs) (picture the character you want here cause idk)

Bugs peeks his head inside the local

Other character: Hi sr! Welcome! Any of these questions called your attention.

Bugs relaxed face comes up: Eeeeehh, just all of them.

Character: Oh! goddie! Or baddie! Or goddie I should say cause I have the solution- right here!

The character pulls out a weird looking chain clock. Bugs points at it half scared half confused.

Bugs: what's that?

Character: It's a clock for hypnosis! Anyone can use it!

Bugs looks confused.

Character: So with this clock you can hypnose other people to do what they never usually do! And finally have some rest.

Bugs still confused but amazed: And you are just selling this on the grocerie store?

The character annoyed: Ya want the clock or not?

Bugs pulling out his wallet: Eeeh, having the option wouldn't hurt.

-Tan tan!- BLACK SCREEN SONG BREAK OR COMMERCIAL BREAK OR SOMETHING??-

[aeonghaseyo]

Your Trace, My Treasure

Summary: Marc and Nathaniel write and draw, respectively, on each others' notebooks because it's DEFINITELY a couple thing to do.

Word Count: 2105 AO3 link

Relationship/s: Nathaniel Kurtzberg/Marc Anciel Category: M/M Characters: Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Marc Anciel, Alix Kubdel (mentioned), Marinette Dupain-Cheng (mentioned), Juleka Couffaine (mentioned), Rose Lavillant (mentioned), Alya Cesaire (mentioned) Language used: English Author's Note: The creators of MLB really need to give the side characters screen time. The love square isn't the only romantic set of ships in the show and there are much more cute ships to write about. And so in my first time of writing a Miraculous Ladybug fanfic, it's about a ship that's entirely not part of the love square. This is my final workshop output from a creative writing class I enrolled in during the summer to get units in advance. Special thanks to my professor and two of my classmates for their feedback; I couldn't have made this work even more wonderful without their help. For the non-love-square ship and this being a successful workshop output thus far, I think I'm gonna give myself a pat on the back and more fanfic ideas to write. :)

Compared to the courtyard at Françoise Dupont High School where the lively chattering of students can be heard and the scrambling of footsteps were a staple, the art room was its own entire world of silence.

It was supposed to be a calming silence in that same art room where Marc and Nathaniel were to work on art-related endeavors of their own, but the former found this unwelcoming and rather deafening. It weighed down on his being that the atmosphere was unbearably awkward, much like he was most of the time even before he met Nathaniel and became his partner in creating comic books about Ladybug, Chat Noir, and their akumatized alter-egos who turned good and served as part of the superhero duo’s akuma-fighting team. Despite a remarkable development from being acquaintances, to newfound partners, and now to a bloomed romantic couple, Marc Anciel, as awkward as ever and still testing the waters on this newfound relationship, couldn’t shake this nagging feeling of inadequacy as someone’s significant other.

It just goes to show him that even though his romantic feelings for Nathaniel had been reciprocated at Day 0, it does not remove the remaining unease that Marc currently feels at Day 1. It was his first time in a relationship, and it was with the boy whose drawings he admired so much from the school paper. Simply put, it was too good to be true.

Unfortunately, the awkwardness Marc felt wasn’t masked enough, and Nathaniel immediately noticed from his place by the table beside his raven-haired beau. How could he not? It was very obvious, from the way Marc’s hand shakily distorted his usually refined, elegant script while writing the next chapter of their comic to the way his expression was contorted as if he was constipated. Nathaniel thought to himself that it was still an adorable sight, but clearly, something was up, and it wouldn’t do well to just ignore whatever troubled his beloved partner. Attempting to break the ice, the redhead cleared his throat, then spoke to call Marc’s attention.

“Marc.”

The novelist jolted in surprise at the utterance of his name. “Y-yes, Nathaniel?”

Leaning in for a better view of the page Marc was writing on, Nathaniel replied, “Your handwriting’s different.”

“W-wait, really?” blurted out Marc, quickly covering the page with his gloved hand. “I d-didn’t know you were p-particular with handwriting.”

Nathaniel placed a gentle, caring hand on his boyfriend’s with a smile aimed directly at him as he clarified himself, “It’s not that, Marc. I’ve seen it and it’s great. Right now, it just looks… wobbly. You’re nervous, aren’t you?”

Even if Nathaniel was a recluse in his own class, he could very well read into the emotions of people, but he doesn’t show it that often. As endearing as it was as a show of concern towards shy Marc, it was also overwhelming for the raven-haired novelist to have been the subject of such deep perception, even from the boy his heart palpitates for.

It was then that Marc’s fight or flight response reminded him in a split-second that he needed some sort of diversion for Nathaniel not to remind him of his own awkwardness.

“Isn’t it weird that our art teacher didn’t come here?” Marc rapidly questioned as he struggled not to look at the red-haired boy beside him. Despite this attempt to keep Nathaniel’s focus off of his disposition, glancing towards the door and not at Nathaniel did not help stop the blood from rushing to the novelist’s fair cheeks. His partner might be tired of this, of him, already, but that light chuckle of pure amusement coming from Nathaniel disproved that thought.

“Hey, hey, settle down Marc,” chided Nathaniel, “he might be running late. It’s okay for us to use the art room so long as it’s reserved around this time. Good thing that he reserved it at an earlier time than usual.”

With innocent green eyes, the raven-haired boy looked his boyfriend in the eye and asked, “H-he can do that?”

“Of course, he can. Let’s just wait for him, okay?” reassured Nathaniel, his left hand making its way on Marc’s right shoulder discreetly. “I’m sure my other classmates will arrive here shortly too.”

A shy smile emerged from Marc’s face as he replied, “Okay, Nath.”

Suddenly, a ringtone from the phone which was in Nathaniel’s pocket sounded audibly enough to catch both the boys’ attention. The redhead immediately fished out the device from his pocket and unlocked it, revealing three unread text messages from his close friend Alix.

Hey Nath! Something came up and I couldn’t swing by the art room. Love troubles again with Marinette. Juleka and Rose are also helping out with me so they can’t come.

I can’t believe that Marinette got invited personally by Adrien to his photoshoot but she can’t even give him her handmade gift or ask him out. Because she’s such a wuss, I got dragged here in the park by Rose because Mari needs all of her girl friends to push her towards Golden Boy Agreste YET AGAIN.

And apparently Alya alone couldn’t do it. Sorry! You’ll have Marc to keep you company anyway. Have fun! ;)

So much for those girls coming over to the art room. Nathaniel let out a sigh as he muttered, just enough for Marc to hear, “I stand corrected. The others aren’t coming.”

Catching on his partner’s crest-fallen demeanor and gazing at his face with sympathetic green orbs, Marc replied, “Guess it’s just the two of us for now.”

The next minutes were spent in silence again, with Marc continuing to finish a paragraph while Nathaniel sketched a bird’s eye view of the Eiffel tower as the background in one panel of the comic storyboard in his notebook. After several minutes elapsed, however, curiosity got the best of Marc, and so, with the tip of his pen lingering on the period of his last sentence, he kept on glancing at Nathaniel and the storyboarding he was working on. Besides the sheer focus that was evident in Nathaniel’s turquoise orbs, the shy novelist couldn’t help but notice the fine, steady strokes his beau’s hand were making with his fine-pointed mechanical pencil. So neat, so pristine. It’s amazing how he didn’t need an eraser to erase certain portions of his drawings over and over.

Marc had seen artist sketches himself of both people and objects, mostly done by his friend Marinette. As someone aspiring to become a fashion designer, she would be engrossed in sketching designs day by day, passion ignited by the sparks of inspiration she draws from around her. However, since Marinette’s sketches had obvious hints of disorder, as it normally is with crude artist sketches, it clearly contrasted with the otherwise structured sketches Nathaniel makes for his comic books. Marc, fully in awe, couldn’t help but take a break from his writing and stare at the red-haired illustrator’s creative process right next to him.

Meanwhile, Nathaniel, thanks to the strong, overbearing feeling of being watched, was getting overly conscious of his work. Keeping his composure to the best of his ability, he quickly turned to Marc and asked, “Do you need something Marc?”

Snapped out of his trance wide-eyed, Marc inwardly panicked. ‘Oh no, I must be staring at him too long! I hope I didn’t spook him too much.’

Scrambling for a sensible response, the novelist stuttered out, “I-i want to write something in your notebook.”

Setting down his pencil while his turquoise eyes were still on Marc, Nathaniel blinked inquisitively. “Oh, why would you want to do that?”

“B-because,” the shy writer reasoned, “I want to write something to remind you of me. T-that is, if y-you don’t mind.”

The red-haired teen averted his gaze from his partner as he remarked, “You know I don’t let anyone write on my notebook, Marc.”

This response triggered the disappointment that Marc had anticipated from the moment that they started continuing to develop the rest of the comic book they were working on together. It was even more daunting for the timid writer that their art teacher and the rest of Nathaniel’s classmates who were usually in the art room with them did not show up at that moment, or even at all. Marinette would tell Nathaniel that it’s a great idea for his newfound love to leave special traces on his personal notebook while Rose, somehow finding this romantic, would gush at this gesture with Juleka mumbling to herself in response. But what would have been the cherry on top for Marc at the moment is that if Alix was there to egg on Nathaniel, pressuring him to give in and let his boyfriend write something in his notebook. At least the comic relief from Alix’s teasing would help alleviate the collective awkwardness the couple felt at that moment. God, if only it wasn’t just the two of them in the art room at that moment.

But alas, he was alone, helpless and daunted, and he was facing the dragon which was Nathaniel, or whatever Nathaniel thought of him at that moment.

However, all of the fears and doubts that plagued Marc left him when Nathaniel continued with a small, endearing smile on his face, “But for you, I’ll make an exception.”

The novelist beamed at his boyfriend, green eyes sparkling with delight. “R-really?”

“In one condition.”

Marc took and held in a quick breath. “Anything, Nath.”

The illustrator picked up his pencil once again and uttered, with an outstretched hand right by Marc’s notebook, “Let me draw in your notebook.”

It was at that moment when Marc could feel his heart flutter, accompanied by the butterflies in his stomach as he opened his own notebook to the very last page and laid it out right by his beau’s workspace.

“It would be my pleasure.”

In a span of 2 minutes while Nathaniel was drawing on the last page of his boyfriend’s notebook, Marc, fidgeting and tapping his pen softly on his chin, racked his brain for a simple yet memorable piece to write on the first page of the illustrator’s notebook, which was left empty out of personal preference by its owner. Hoping to obtain bit by bit of inspiration, he glanced at Nathaniel, then at the empty page, then at Nathaniel, and so on and so forth. This went on, albeit unnoticed by the redhead, until mere seconds after, he scribbled away on the page once he had gotten attuned with his creative writing flow.

After both of them finished leaving their traces on each other’s notebook pages, Nathaniel and Marc gave each other back their notebooks and instantly opened them to where they each left their special mark. Struck with awe, the novelist softly traced the outline of the drawing and his emerald eyes were drawn to Nathaniel’s signature which he left underneath the recently drawn portrait. A tinge of pink formed on Marc’s cheeks as he admired every stroke that constituted this drawing of him done by none other than the boy he once looked up to, now loved, and who loved him back.

“No one’s written me a poem before,” Nathaniel uttered as he perused every line written by Marc on that now extra special page in his notebook, eyes taking in every word written in that distinct elegant script that served as an epitome of beauty that the redhead beheld. One particular line at the end of the writing, however, caught him by surprise: the words ‘Je t’aime’ accompanied by Marc’s signature in that same fancy handwriting the illustrator adored dearly.

Having regained his composure, Marc turned to Nathaniel and asked, “Do you like the poem? I-i thought of it on the spot so it might not exactly be to your liking, but-”

“I love it,” interrupted the red-haired teen breathlessly, wrapping an arm around his significant other and squeezing his shoulder. “Really Marc, you make the most wonderful written pieces.”

An expression as bright as day graced Marc’s features as he replied, albeit with a bit of shyness in his voice, “Y-you really think so?”

Nathaniel threw any single hint of hesitation in his being out the window as he placed a tender, loving kiss on Marc’s forehead. “I do. We’re meant to be partnered together, after all.”

And just like that, the uncomfortable awkwardness that haunted Marc was instantly warded off, and in a flash, he enveloped Nathaniel in a tight, warm, loving embrace and leaned into him in newfound solace. The silence in the art room has never been this comforting as the couple relished in this seemingly endless embrace together.

[ihopesocomic]

(PT 1) HEY! I love your comic. You guys are doing an amazing job but seeing that new trailer, I had a thought. It almost made me have a moment of "Oh right, /that/ show.." seeing Hope's scar so similar to Nothing's. Of course it's probably very intentional, but I think the entire story can stand on its own without having such an obvious "LOOK IT'S LIKE NOTHING BUT IT'S BETTER" motif? I don't know if it goes for anyone else, but I feel happier the less I think of My Pride when I read IHS :(

This is going to be quite long because you’ve brought up an issue that’s been bugging me for a while, which is the accusation that we’ve been touting IHS across the internet as a “better My Pride” and rubbing it in people’s faces when we’ve done no such thing. This isn’t just directed at you, anon, but anybody else who feels the same way.

First of all, it’s been established for quite some time that Hope was going to have a scar (since September of last year, before we started uploading), so I don’t know why you’ve only just picked it up from the trailer: 

https://toyhou.se/8161178.hopeful#26353886 https://toyhou.se/8161178.hopeful#26354089 Secondly, I wouldn’t say the scar looks similar to Nothing’s? Hope’s scar is visible claw marks (similar to Scar and Kovu from the TLK franchise). Nothing’s scar is... Well, I don’t even know what it’s supposed to be. Scar tissue? Anybody else’s guess is a good one. lol Either way, we’re dealing with a character who gets abused by her family, she’s gonna end up with scars sooner or later. Doesn’t mean we’re trying to do “Nothing but better”. We’re trying to depict the effects of mental and physical abuse on a disabled individual, and there’s going to be some physical signs of it. Hope being clawed is also a prominent, dramatic moment because Hope loses vision in her eye from the injury. It serves a purpose. Whereas Nothing’s scar is just... there. 

As for our intentions behind making this comic: it started because we were privately exchanging ideas and revamps on how we personally wished MP had turned out (which is not the same as “how it could’ve been better”) but we felt using our own characters and lore would be easier and better to work with than somebody else’s entire creation. We’ve never set out to make a “better My Pride”, that has never been our intent. We’ve always described this comic as an “antithesis” to MP. That’s the closest we’ve ever come to comparing the two. The view that our comic is a “better My Pride” has only ever come from people reading it, which we can’t help. We’re not responsible for the words expressed by our fans and - truth be told - we’re not about to go out of our way to try and police them on their words. If they want to believe our comic is a “better version of My Pride”, then they can. 

It would be a very amateur and pretentious mistake on our part if we claimed this comic to be a “better” version of an existing product. Because that’s all up for personal opinion. Some people will think My Pride has better writing than I Hope So, and that’s fine. Our writing style isn’t going to vibe with everyone. However, this claim that we have said our thing is “better” is just downright untrue. We never set out to do this to mock what we feel are pitfalls of My Pride, but to work from inspiration. Because, despite our grievances with the show, it DID inspire us at some stage.  Another thing I want to say is that I think there’s been way too much emphasis put on being 100% original and unique over the years. I wouldn’t say that originality is dead but is it a dying form that we need to stop obsessively chasing because a TON of things have been done to death, no matter how “unique” you think they are? Yes. There’s nothing wrong with taking elements from existing media and doing your own take on it, as long as you give credit to the original source and don’t try and deny it when people call you out on it. That’s when something becomes a blatant rip off, when you try and argue it’s 100% original when it’s absolutely not. We’ve done nothing but say up and down that this is inspired by My Pride, so this probably isn’t the comic for you if being reminded of that show is a problem, because we can’t deny the origins of our comic. However, at the same time, I’d like to argue that whatever similarities we share with My Pride, we’re doing our utmost to execute things differently. The foundations of everything will be same (again: no denying that), but we have different things planned once Act 1 concludes. 

This is hardly a new thing either. It’s very, VERY common in media for somebody to take something and try to make an alternate product from it. Particularly when it comes to video games. Some of the best video games of all time have come from those who have taken an existing game and made what one would call “a rip off” out of it. Not everything that resembles something is a “rip off” and it’s not always made with the intention of scoring clout and praise from fans of the original source. That’s what hurts the most about all this: the insinuation that we’re doing this to try and ride on My Pride’s coattails and we’re not? We’re doing this because we enjoy it and we want to maybe give people who want valid LGBT+ and disabled representation the valid representation they deserve.  

We haven’t done IHS out of malice or mockery. We weren’t lying when we said that one of the main strengths of My Pride was its worldbuilding. We were (still are) on board with the idea of lions living in a Watership Down-like society. We felt there were aspects of My Pride that we liked and wanted to work with (i.e. gay lion with a disability, abuse from an unforgiving world) and it is these aspects that you see before you. So, no, nothing is done with the intention to mock. Anything we have issue with in My Pride is just not in the comic nor commented on. We put up a 2+ hour review on that, we don’t need to use our comic to carry on the lecture. 

That’s all I’m saying on this. It’s not up for further discussion. We’re just tired of having this brought up to us because - short of posting the comic script in its entirely - all we can do is say, yes, MP inspired us and the foundations are similar but we’re trying to do things differently and we intend to take things in a new direction once Act 1 wraps up. That’s all we can say for now. Thanks for your time.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Back at it again with my self-indulgent comic posts. This time! It’s Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow #3, perhaps the most tonally-distinct entry yet, with shades of The Twilight Zone. 

Spoilers!

So, as mentioned, this issue is the most deliberate in terms of both its pacing and its tone, IMO.

What is that tone, you ask?

To quote Alex Danvers, from “Midvale”: Hello, darkness.

THE STORY:

Kara and Ruthye are still looking for Krem Clues in the alien town of Maypole.

(Which is actually just Small Town, USA, complete with vintage 50s aesthetics.)

But the locals are clearly hiding something! So Kara and Ruthye continue to investigate, and they eventually discover what it was that the residents of Maypole were so keen to keep hidden. 

Genocide, basically. 

As I said, this issue struck me as very Twilight Zone; a genre story involving the build-up to a dark twist, all set against the backdrop of an idyllic small town. (Think, like, “The Monsters are Due on Maple Street” but instead of focusing on the Red Scare, it’s classism and racism.)

The wealthier blue aliens kicked all of the purple aliens out of town, and when space pirates showed up to pillage and plunder, the blue aliens made a deal with them: the lives of the purple aliens in exchange for their safety.  

Which is where the episodic story connects to the larger mission; it was Krem who suggested the trade, and then joined up with the Brigands (space pirates) when he was freed by the blue aliens.

The issue ends with no tidy resolution to the terrible things Kara and Ruthye discovered, but they do have a lead on where to find Krem, now, as well as Barbond’s Brigands.

KARA-CTERIZATION:

Ironically, it’s here, in the darkest chapter yet, that we get the closest to what might be considered ‘classic’ Kara. 

Which I think comes down to that aforementioned deliberate pace--this issue is a little slower, a little quieter. It gives the characters some room to breathe.

That’s not to say Crusty Kara is gone. Oh no. She is still very much Crusty. XD 

But anyways. A list! Of Kara moments I loved!

I mentioned a few of these in a prior post when the preview pages came out: I like the moment where Kara blows down the guy’s house of cards, and I like that the action is echoed later in the issue when she grabs the mayor’s desk and tosses it aside. A nice visual representation of the escalation of Kara being, like. Done with these creeps. (Creeps is an understatement but you get the idea.)

Another one from the preview pages: Kara explains to Ruthye that her super hearing won’t necessarily help her detect a lie, especially if she’s dealing with an alien species she’s not familiar with.

It not only reveals her level of competence and understanding of her super powers, it also shows that, you know. She’s a thinker. She’s smart. 

Amazing! Showing, rather than telling us, that Kara is smart! Without mentioning the science guild at all wow hey wow.

(Sorry, pointed criticism of the SG show fandom.)

Anyways.

I dig the PJs! 

And Kara catching the bullet! Not only are the poses and character acting great, it’s also a neat bit of panel composition:

We start with Ruthye’s POV, and then move to the wide shot of the room. The panel where Kara actually catches the bullet is down and to the side of the wide shot panel--we move our eyes the way her body/arm would have to move to intercept the bullet. Physicality in static, 2D images!

Also, like. It’s a very tense moment, life-or-death, but. Ruthye’s wide-eyed surprise at the bullet in Kara’s hand? Kind of adorable. 

I was pretty much prepared for the page of Kara shielding Ruthye from the gunfire to be the highlight--it was one of the first pages King shared and I was like, ‘yeah, YEAH.’ But, shockingly? The TRUE highlight of the issue?

Where do I BEGIN?!?!

EVERYTHING. About this moment. Is lovely.

From Kara holding Ruthye above the bench to explaining the concept of a piggyback ride, to telling her:

“I’m going to hold my hands here, and these hands can turn coal into diamonds, so they’re not going to let go. I’m going to keep you safe.”

HNNNNNNNNNNNG.

Ruthye’s narration--about how Kara had avoided flying as she was concerned it would freak Ruthye out--just adds a whole additional layer of YES, GOOD, YES, and her line on that splash page is great: “You see, all that time, she was worried about me.”

HNNNNNNNNNNNG. AGAIN.

To say nothing of the STELLAR ARTWORK.

And SPEAKING of that stellar artwork, Evely and Lopes continue to knock it out of the park. Each issue is distinct and beautifully crafted, a true joy to look at.

Before I jump into more of the art, a few final notes of character stuff in general.

Ruthye is the one most affected by the experience in Maypole, as she can’t comprehend how a society of people that look so nice and gentle and peaceful could have been party to such a horrible act.

One of the big criticisms of the book thus far is that Supergirl is not the main character, and I guess I can agree with that observation. Typically, in Western media, the main character is the one who goes through the most change in the story. 

And, yeah. That’s Ruthye.

As I was reading the end, where Ruthye sits on the curb and Kara hugs her, I was imagining how the scene would’ve played, had King stuck with the original idea for the series: Kara as the one learning to be tough/experiencing all of this for the first time, and while I think that could certainly work...

I continue to appreciate that King literally flipped the script; that Kara, especially in this issue, is like, ‘I’ve seen this, I know this,’ as opposed to being the one going through a loss of innocence.

*Marge Simpson voice* I just think it’s neat!

Because Kara’s been a teen in DC comics for so long--ever since she was reintroduced to the main DCU continuity, actually--so this is all brand new territory, here. Having an older Kara who’s SEEN SOME STUFF.

(Alsoooooo, since Bendis made the destruction of Krypton not just inaction and climate disaster, but rather, genocide, and the subtext of a Kryptonian diaspora text, the waitress’ derogatory comment regarding the the destruction of Kryton, as well as Kara picking up the bad vibes the entire time, suggests not just a broad commentary on discrimination in all its forms, but specifically allegorical anti-Semitism. The purple aliens being forced out of their homes and into substandard living conditions, then the blue aliens--their neighbors and once-fellow residents--essentially allowing the space pirates to kill them, making them literal scapegoats, Kara discovering the remains of the purple aliens, and Ruthye’s horror at the ‘banality of evil’...yes. A case could be made, I think.) 

(Which would probably require a post unto itself and a lot more in-depth discussion, nuance, and cited sources.)

(Should mention that King has brought up that both he and Orlando--the other Supergirl writer he talked to--are Jewish, and for him personally, that shaped his views on Kara’s origin story.)

I guess my point is that this issue is perhaps not as out-of-left-field as some might think, and just because there isn’t as obvious an arc for Kara, doesn’t mean there isn’t some sharp character work at play. 

(I could be WAY OFF, of course, and I’m not suggesting it’s a clear 1:1 comparison. I’d actually really love to hear King talk about this issue in particular.)

Anyways.

Here’s the final page, which I think works, because as I mentioned before, there is no easy answer/quick wrap-up to the story of Maypole:

THE ART:

I mean. How many times can I just shout ‘ART! AAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTT!’ before it gets old?

I dunno, but I guess we’re gonna FIND OUT.

There are some panels in this issue that I just. Like ‘em! From a purely artistic standpoint! Because they’re so good!

Like, I just really love the way Kara is drawn in that top panel. Her troubled, confused expression, the colors of the fading light, the HAIR. 

Evely draws the best hair. I know I’ve said this before. I don’t care. I will continue to say it, because it continues to be true.

The issue I find myself running up against when I make these posts is that I really don’t want to post whole pages, as that’s generally frowned upon (re: pirating etc.) but with something like this, you just can’t appreciate it in panel-by-panel snippets.

(Guided View on digital reading platforms is a BANE and a POX I say!)

Anyways.

LOVE the implied movement of the cape settling as Kara speeds in and stops. 

And, obviously, Kara flicking the bullet away is just. A+. 

And the EYES, man. LOPES’ COLORS ON THE EYES???!?! BEAUTIFUL.

Also, should note the lettering! The more rounded letters for the ‘WOOSH’ of Kara’s speed (and, earlier, the super breath) work nicely, and contrast with the angular, violent BLAMS of the gunshots. 

And, I gotta say, the editor is doing a really great job of not cluttering up the artwork with all the caption boxes. Which is no small task.

(I assume the editor is placing them, as editors usually handle word balloon/caption box placement, but I suppose it could be Evely? Sometimes the artist handles it. Either way, whoever’s taking care of all the text, EXCELLENT WORK! BRAVO!)

Okay I think that’s everything.

Ah, nope, wait.

MISC.

Just a funny observation, more than anything else: Superman: Red and Blue dropped this week, and King had a story in there, “The Special” (which was very good, btw.) Both Lois and the waitress swear a lot so I’m beginning to think that this is just how King writes dialogue for any adult character who isn’t Clark. XD

This is absolutely a personal preference but when Kara was like, “And my name IS Supergirl,” I was like nooooo. I know King is trying to simplify all of the conflicting origin stories and lore but I LIKE KARA DANVERS, SIR. XD

It’s almost assuredly a cash-grab/an attempt for DC to get all the money it can out of a book they don’t have much confidence in, but I like the cardstock covers! Very classy, much Strange Adventures.

(OH my gosh, can you imagine that issue 1 cover with spot gloss???? Basically the only way you could possibly improve on it.) 

Okay NOW I’m done. For real. XD NEXT TIME: Kara and Ruthye go after Krem and the Brigands!

[rynnaaurelius]

Just Pirated Loki’s First Episode: The Reactions of a Comics Nerd and No-Fun MCU Hater

-Fair warning, I am a Loki fan, but not in the way, um. Pretty much everyone else on this website is

-Bless Tom Hiddleston for being such a fucking delight as Loki but the MCU straight- and cis-washes its Loki so much that I really am exhausted.

-That being said, the shout-out to the Kid Loki comics, also known as the best Loki comics, with the “your role is this” stuff was. . .well. Watch that space.

-Interesting characterization in the MCU! Can’t wait for them to fuck it all up when it threatens to get too interesting!

-God I checked the tags for the show/characters and I remembered why I stay out of the MCU fandom.

-”They killed people!”/”They enslaved a whole town!”/”They tried to take over the world!”/”He told my favorite to shut up!” This is comics, Susan, everyone’s a terrible person on some level. Pick your emotional support war criminal and go. Also, get a sense of humor.

-Lotta people bitching about the time travel logic and TVA logic need to read more comics. Fair warning: this shit’s par for the course. Like, a lot. Marvel’s getting very comics-y with its treatment of the TVA, MCU!Carol Danvers, and the Eternals (re: The whole “They were secretly there the whole time!” thing).

-I’ve seen a lot of yelling over Loki’s characterization/the morality of the TVA and Mobius and IMO it was. . .fine?

-Like, yes, the script wasn’t amazing, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Honestly, it’s better than I was expecting, and the actors did their best.

-Loki seemed fairly in-line from what I remember from 2012.

-The MCU retcons itself about everything every three years, but it looks like they’re going with the theory of Loki having major autonomy during the events of The Avengers. Probably.

-My unpopular opinion on this is that while Thanos certainly did a number on Loki to push him over the edge, supplied him with the army, and gave him this particular plan--none of which is exactly small beans--some version of this was always coming from MCU!Loki, barring major intervention.

-After the first Thor, he was always going to make a play for Earth the second Thor and Odin decided humans were all right. Thanos just happened to set the timetable.

-I mean, he’s been villain material for most of his MCU run, and it’s frankly hilarious how Marvel keeps being forced to bring him back because they can’t do villains for shit and how you can tell when they have to with each shift of his arc trajectory.

-Like everyone else in this godforsaken cinematic universe, his lines suffer from being post-Joss Whedon’s directorial and writing contributions as well as Marvel Main Character-itis, which is not unique to this series.

-Mobius is surprisingly interesting compared with his comics-self.

-*Ducks and hides from the Loki fans*

-He’s clearly working towards something with Loki maybe beyond the whole stopping someone who’s clearly not just your common garden Tom Hiddleston!Loki thing

-What with the interesting mix of de-radicalization techniques and interrogation techniques that probably aren’t completely copacetic under the Geneva Convention, anyway.

-He’s not a Loki fanboy in the comics, but after having to sit through MCU!Wanda, I’m just bracing myself here for the changes. It’s not like Mobius is much of a character in the comics, anyway.

-Like, his morality is of the TVA, but his priorities in keeping Loki alive and un-reset go a bit beyond what his comics self would, probably.

-Anyway, Owen Wilson remains as charismatic as ever and is doing a great job as him, so I like him right now, but jury’s definitely still out on his trajectory.

-So, the TVA.

-Despite the whole fan theory mess with WandaVision, I’m not unconvinced the Time Keepers aren’t secretly the Time-Twisters or something. The organization is more or less like this in the comics, but the emphasis on “Sacred Timeline” is. . .hmph.

-They monitor the multiverse in the comics. They’re not trying to avert its creation, and the Time-Twisters destroy realities as their schtick.

-Also, the multi-verse is coming, so I’m assuming that there’s going to be a twist that acts as an impetus for Loki plus Mobius and friends to blow the organization wide open and cause the multiverse (Probably re-forming the organization and giving Mobius the same surprise promotion as the comics, along with an excuse to bring Gugu Mbatha-Raw back).

-*chanting intensifies* mutants mutants mutants

-They’re gonna fuck up Magneto so bad lmao

Ending Conclusions

-. . .The Big Bad of this phase is absolutely either Mephisto or Kang, right?

-I don’t see how they do Secret Invasion at this point as a feasible Big Bad without a lot of changes, Deviants were Thanos, basically, Doctor Doom can’t happen without the Fantastic Four, and anything directly tied to the mutants is out until they’re brought in.

-Think a decent dark horse candidate for the Phase 4 is also Scarlet Witch/Chthon since she’s confirmed to be reading the Darkhold--which is pretty much No. 1 on the list of Stupid Shit To Never Ever Do In Marvel Comics--upholding the fine comics tradition of Wanda being manipulated by someone evil into doing world-breaking shit.

-I can’t wait for them to straightwash Wiccan and for me to die inside, unrelated news

-It’s episode 1, so there’s a lotta ballgame left, but this is now the second show to bait the MCU Devil, which I honestly want to see if only so I can watch the world burn over it.

-Then again, they might simplify things and just make the being behind the Darkhold Mephisto instead of Chthon, which would. . .track with some things mentioned by the WandaVision showrunners about removing important scenes because stop listening to fans theorize online, dammit. It’s the Hamlet written by monkeys hypothesis played out.

-Ahem.

-Anyway. The music was nice, the actors did a great job, production value looked good, and while this episode was 95% info-dump, they made it pretty digestible.

-Also, the ‘70s-style matte painting used for one scene instead of CGI was a nice surprise and the animation was delightful.

Recommendations:

-If you’re a Loki fan convinced the MCU hasn’t done right by him since Dark World and think Taika Waititi destroyed his character, this show is probably not going to make you especially happy.

-*Checks Tumblr tags again*

-*Winces* I’m so sorry, guys.

-If you’re someone like me, who’s not the biggest MCU fan but still loves the characters and wants to see what ditch this drives into, I think the show is promising.

-If you’re an MCU casual, ditto, but without the ditch part.

-Overall: 8/10 blue-teethed French kids

[bottleofspilledink]

God’s Watching, Put on a Show || Chapter XIII

“Welcome to the gardening club!” Veronica, a junior, the girl they’d elected last year before the senior members (that had previously made up a large majority of their club) had graduated, said to them, all cheery smiles and chipper voices, despite the admittedly low turn-out.

“Now, we’ll be doing introductions in just a minute, but as of right now, we’re going to be grabbing a pair of gloves and picking aprons out!”

She quickly ducked inside the gardening shed, opening a locker from inside and taking out about fifteen colourful aprons and laying them out on the table they prepared just for the occasion.

“Whatever you pick today is what you’ll be stuck with for the rest of the year, so act fast. All disputes will be settled through three rounds of rock-paper-scissors.” She said, looking at two girls whose eyes seemed to gravitate towards the same garment.

“However, you will be provided another apron if yours gets too worn and breaks, so don’t worry about really getting down and dirty, which, if you’re only just learning about now, what are you doing here?”

That pulled a chuckle out of the girls as they crowded around the table.

From that crowd stood Lilith and Eve, side by side, refusing to meet each other’s eyes.

Well, more Eve than Lilith.

Lilith was doing everything she could to make the other look at her, all attempts ending in failure, either in the form of being ignored or catching a different girl’s attention.

The air between them had stayed tense since they’d left the library, neither of them having the chance or courage to try and alleviate it, instead choosing to stew in it and hope it would go away on it’s own.

Clearly, though, it would do no such thing.

Her blue eyes scanned around them, in a desperate search for something to make light of, before it finally landed on one of the aprons upon the table.

Just looking at it was enough to make her cringe. If it was something she’d seen while out shopping with her grandmother, she would desperately steer the woman in another direction, hoping to heaven that it hadn’t caught the other’s eye lest she make her try it on.

“Am I really going to do this?”

She groaned internally.

“Yes. Yes, I am.”

...

“Hey, Eve!”

The blonde turned around, happy the other had decided to take initiative in getting rid of the tense air between them, though the response she’d prepared had died before it even left her mouth when she saw what Lilith was wearing.

On Lilith was a red apron with a white, frilly trim, a flannel pattern making up the red parts. It’s bottom part reached just above her knee, the ends of her skirt sticking out. That wasn’t what shocked her though, no. What was most shocking was the heart-shaped bodice that hung loose on Lilith, the ties at her neck and waist yet to be adjusted to fit her correctly.

“Help me tie this?” She asked, quirking a brow as well as a lip.

Oh, that sincere expression did it, laughter springing from her like a burst fire hydrant, it’s sound washing away of any awkwardness that lingered between the two.

“Holy sh-” She guffawed, unable to continue, glee stealing all that remained in her lungs. Breath escaped her in short huffs of joy every few seconds as she tried her best to get it to stop for long enough to speak, though it seemed that trying to keep it in only made it stronger.

“Aw, come on, Eve,” Lilith pouted, jutting out her bottom lip out so far it was comical. “Don’t you think I look pretty?”

She sighed wistfully, finally calming. But despite the absence of laughter, her joy was still there, made clear with the dopey, lovesick grin that spread her mouth ear to ear.

The hand that had once covered her mouth slid across the table to where Lilith’s was resting, giving it a slight, tender squeeze before she spoke. “You look adorable.”

It was Lilith’s turn to smile now, cheeks flushed as red as her apron. Oh, she’d chose to look like a fool a thousand time over just for another moment like that.

“Thanks.”

They stared at each other silently.

Something passed between them, a kind of secret, a sort of unspoken, unacted upon longing they shared; it was potent, tangible, electric, even. It would have been clear to anyone watching, though they would have denied it’s existence, refusing to acknowledge the simple, sinful fact that these girls were in love. Desperately so.

“Seriously though, can you help me adjust this?”

“Oh, yes! Of course!”

And with that, it had ended. A small moment of tenderness and love unabashed, a miniscule and infinitesimal minute in their short, but seemingly so stretched-out lives that they would treasure and look back upon with a fond nostalgia reserved only for such memories.

Lilith turned away from her then, swooping her hair over her shoulder and crouching down to give Eve better access to the ties.

She could only giggle at the action, “You know that’s not necessary, I’m only a bit shorter than you anyways. I can reach the ties just fine.”

The redhead decided to be cheeky, falling to her knees with a cackle, looking back at Eve with her signature smirk.

“Rude!” She said, delivering a good-natured smack to the girl’s shoulder.

“Not rude,” Lilith choked back a laugh, clearly already amused by her planned response, “just being honest.”

Eve tugged on the ties to tilt Lilith’s head up, “Oh, really? I didn’t know you knew how to do that.”

The split second of worry she’d experienced from the fear she’d gone too far quickly faded into a now familiar warmth spreading through her, knowing she was the cause of the hearty chuckle that came deep from Lilith’s chest.

“How short are you?”

“I’m pretty sure the question is supposed to go “how tall are you” but to answer that question. I’m five feet and four inches.”

“Then you’re short!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

Lilith finally rose, mostly to prove a point but also so Eve could get to the ties to go around her waist, holding her arms out all the while as a sort of “go ahead” gesture.

The seconds that followed made her heart hammer. She had to step forward, close to Lilith, to grasp the ribbons that for some reason rested by her front instead of her side. Eve reached around, praying no one would hear her heart hammer against her ribs as if it were trying to break free in a never-ceasing attempt to proclaim its love.

It filled her with shame.

Oh, but who could be bothered by such unsavoury things when they were so close to their beloved?

For a brief moment, it was as if Eve held the girl in an embrace, the type of embrace one would give to a lover. It was agony to have to move, yet infinitely easier to stay, to give in to temptation and press their bodies together, to bury her face into the crook of her neck once more, to let Lilith stand as a shield between her and the God she’d come to fear so.

But she ripped herself away and went back to her original task.

“Tell me, then,” She said, distracting herself from all she longed for, “how short are you?”

Her eyes were helpless to the way the ribbon accentuated the girl’s figure, try as she might to stop herself from ogling. It made the rather loose uniform seem tighter, bringing it closer to her body, showing off her waist as the fabric bunched.

She pulled the on apron strings a bit more than necessary, wanting to see more, needing to see more.

The sight filled her with ache.

She couldn’t help but wonder if Lilith ached for her, too…

“I’m five foot eight.” The girl said, finally turning to face her once she finished. Everything about her could be described as smug, from her smirk to the way she put her hands on her hips as if she had triumphed. “Decidedly, not short.”

“And just who decided that?”

“Society.”

“Okay then, what counts as short and what counts as tall.”

“Easy. Anyone below five foot five is short, anyone above is tall.”

Eve laughed, incredulous. “Where did you even get that?”

“From society,” Lilith answered with a laugh of her own.

Before their banter could continue, however, the club leader spoke and ushered them all elsewhere.

“Okay so we’ll be the ones to give you the gardening gloves. Don’t get too excited, though, they’re all green and have no patterns whatsoever.”

She pulled out a small crate from under the table, put there ahead of time, all filled with gloves that were tied together with rubber bands by the pair.

“You guys are gonna have to take them home and wash them yourselves. I suggest bringing a small plastic bag to put them in after use. Trust me, I ruined a textbook once ‘cause I was trying to catch the second bus and just threw them in!” She sighed, though clearly amused by the story now. “I wouldn’t recommend it.”

Once the laughter brought about by that little anecdote had died down and everyone had grabbed a pair, the girl casually strolled away from the table only to roll out a whiteboard from inside the shed, already half-filled with a neat script.

“Now, everyone please take a seat. Here’s the actual orientation!”

...

Out of the many things Lilith had done to impress girls in the past, this might have been the tamest, yet most ridiculous and out-of-character thing to date.

Here she was, sitting on the grass in a frilly apron, listening to someone talk about flowers and the correct way to plant them and how to hold a trowel. Well, half-listening. Try as she might to focus on Veronica go on about how to plant flowers and how to properly hold a trowel and what events they would be involved in this year, her eyes would always wander to the girl next to her, to Eve.

She doubted that Eve, herself, was aware of the smile that had made it’s way onto her face. Really, Eve was the picture of happiness with her rosy, dimpled cheeks and her shining tawny eyes, utterly mesmerized by the lecture.

Lilith was mesmerized, too, mind you. The minutes went by as she gazed at Eve, enraptured in every sense of the word. There was something ethereal about Eve, whether it be the shine of her hair, so glinting and gleaming so captivatingly that even the finest gold chains could do nothing to rival it, the way the light caught her face, making clear her cupid’s bow lips, highlighting the small, usually unseen freckles dotting over her nose and cheeks.

So many stories came to mind at the sight, most prominent of all being one she had overheard as a child.

It was during recess in second grade, her friend, Monica, sniveling and sobbing her eyes out as other girls teased her for her moles and freckles as Lilith stood by to comfort her, risking ostracization herself. She laughed at the memory. Truly, her history of doing anything for girls she liked stretched back even longer than she thought.

After the teacher had arrived and scolded the other girls, she pulled them aside, Lilith refusing to leave the other for as long as she cried coming with them, Monica refusing to let go of her hand.

There, in the corner of their colourful classroom decorated with plastic planets and paper fishes and cardboard elephants, she whispered to them in her delicate voice about how people were made in heaven.

She spoke of angels sculpting them from clay, their hands gently and lovingly shaping them before handing them over to God so he could breathe life into them. Sometimes, she said, the angles would look at them and love them so much that they would kiss the clay, blessing them, leaving a mark that would stay with them when they got to earth in the form of a freckle.

Oh, how she wished to become an angel, if only so she could kiss Eve, if only so she could place upon her the mark of her love.

Granted, she wouldn’t have lasted long as one…

But being able to kiss Eve would have been worth the agony that was falling from heaven’s “grace.”

“As that’s that for orientation! You guys can go now,” Veronica said, clasping the sides of the whiteboard as she wheeled it back inside the shed. “Oh, except Eve Peccator and Lilith Damien!”

She locked the garden shed and grinned.

“You two stay. We need to talk about a few things.”

Lilith, having been very gay for a very long time, had only one reaction to such words.

“Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh-”

...

Eve, having been very scared of being like Lilith for a very long time, had a similar response.

It being: “Oh no. Oh God, please no. Oh-”

Really, the words made her heart drop, the half hour spent in utter glee suddenly fading into a crippling sense of danger and nervousness.

“Okay so,” Veronica began, “you probably already noticed that you two are the only members in their senior year, yeah?”

The girl walked them deeper into the gardens, casual as ever. “That’s going to cause us a few problems since I’m only a junior and we only have a day for club per week, unlike you guys who get two since you’re going to be graduating soon. I heard someone say it had something to do with adding to your portfolio?”

“Does that mean we need to leave?” Lilith asked.

While the fear of being discovered had faded since Veronica began to speak of gardening, it had shifted again, this time into a crushing sorrow. She hadn’t even touched a plant yet and now they were getting kicked out…

“Nope! We’ll just be making a few adjustments.” She then said, waving away their fears. “As it is, we’re kinda short on members so we can’t afford to kick anyone out.”

She quickly realized what she said was rather impolite and backtracked.

“Not that we were going to do that if we weren’t short!”

They went under the fruit trees, most of which were barren, having already been harvested, their leaves turning a seasonal orange. Then, they passed the vegetable section, filled with surprisingly healthy crops despite the colder weather. Briefly after, they passed the second shed, apparently filled with chemicals like weed killers and rat poison as well as the heavier equipment of the club, the woodchipper and a chainsaw, that Veronica said only they wouldn’t be provided keys for.

“But yeah, since me and the others will only be here on Tuesdays, you’re going to be given keys to the shed and to the garden gate along with some tasks and instructions I’ll be printing out before the next meeting.

“Wait, so we’re going to be here all alone?” Eve asked. “Without anybody else?”

“Yeah!” She already began filing through her key ring in search of the duplicate keys. “Well, except when we’re here, but your club time during Fridays will be spent alone.”

Eve was fairly certain she was going to scream. Or puke. Or pass out. Or maybe all of that at the same time. Looking over at Lilith, it seemed she was also panicking. (She wasn’t. In part, she was mostly shocked and worried for Eve.)

Veronica was finally able to wring out the keys, one silver and one gold, handing them to Lilith.

“I don’t suggest you try anything with them, you’re the only ones with the spare keys so it’ll be pretty obvious it was you two if anything happens.”

Lilith took them with a simple “okay” before putting them in her pocket.

“That should be it!” Veronica said, her (probably usual) cheer returning to her after speaking her warning. “Remember, gold key is the gate, silver for the shed.”

 ...

With those words, they were walking back to the garden gate, picking up their bags from where they rested on the sides of the shed.

They were leaving.

She had to do this and she had to do it now.

A deep breath for courage and…

“Hey, can we stay for a bit?” Lilith asked. “I’ve never actually been in here and I wanted to have more of a look around.”

“Uh…”

“We’ll lock up after!”

She risked a glance at Eve and silently hoped her plan would work. Lucky for her, it didn’t look like the blonde would bolt or bail.

“You know what, okay! Just be sure to use the lock and the latch when closing the gate.”

“Thanks!” Without waiting a second more, she grabbed Eve by the hand and together they went further back into the garden, Lilith pulling them behind the small space of the second shed.

There was barely a meter between the wood of the shed and the wire of the fence. No one spoke, the two girls simply staring at each other in silence.

It should have been suffocating and awkward.

It wasn’t.

No, it was anything but that. The silence was charged, as if they didn’t need words, as if it was speaking in their place, as if they could hear each other’s hearts hammering and let that speak for itself. Their stares were heavy and filled, a more intense version of earlier. Still filled with love, still filled with longing, brimming with tenderness, an unspoken yearning. Again, so potent, so palpable, practically tangible, utterly electric.

“Lilith…” Eve’s voice shaky. She hadn’t let go of Lilith’s hand, she hadn’t tried putting more space between them. “Why did you bring me here?”

All you could hear after those words was their breathing, ragged, nervous, yet still going, matching the frantic rhythm of their hearts.

She didn’t answer, instead pulling Eve to her chest in a hug.

“Okay, this is my chance.”

 ...

Eve couldn’t resist, couldn’t even pretend to, not a single protest coming from her mouth. She wanted this. More than anything else, she wanted this. Arms pinned to her side by Lilith, there was nothing she could do to reciprocate; to scared that speaking would make the girl pull away, she hoped, if only this once, that Lilith would hear her heart, her love.

The passage of time was lost to her, all Eve could focus on was the other’s face buried in the crook of her neck. Lilith’s breath was hot. She could feel every sigh, every rise and fall of her chest. Her lips would brush against her pulse with every shift. They were soft and warm, pillowy.

As suddenly as Lilith had grabbed her, she was let go.

The girl pulled away from her with a gentle, satisfied smile.

Surprising herself, she grabbed Lilith’s hand when she backed away.

Her mouth opened. Nothing came out.

Eve wanted more.

But how could she ever say that?

She let go and they left the garden, locking up, never letting loose another word.

 ...

Later that night, she would open her messenger bag to find a light brown book with a pastel yellow sticky note on the front cover.

In large, messy letters it read: With love, from Lilith.

_________________________

Taglist: @atahensic @anomiewrites @leahstypewriter @madame-ree @melpomenismask @littlemisscalamity @phillyinthebathroom @gaypeaches @extrabitterbrain @pirateofblood @i-wanna-be-a-rock

OKAY CHAPTER 13 IS HERE!! YAY!!!!

SO IN MY EXCITEMENT TO POST THE LAST CHAPTER I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE BOOK EVE WAS READING IS A PREVIEW OF THE OTHER BOOK I'M WORKING ON IN THIS UNIVERSE BUT FURTHER BACK: THE CULT OF DIONYSUS!!!!

Lmao since @atahensic and @gaypeaches were excited about that they're getting tagged twice 💛

That's all for this chapter!! Thanks for reading 😁💛