#ive been so happy and finally felt like the things that I love doing weren't a chore anymore but now my parents are forcing me to go when i | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

natasha-in-space · 8 months

Note

Sunflowers are one of my favourite flowers and lately ive been thinking of a yooran fic where ray compared yoosung to a sunflower (in the sense that he associates yoosung with sunflowers) and he also says that the way sunflowers follow the sun is similar to the way yoosung follows rika and this keeps on rotating in my head. Do u think yoosung is like a sunflower

First ship fic, whaaat? Anyways, I don't really ship Yooran, but I do think there is a whole lot to explore with their potential dynamic. I know this was probably requested as in Yoosung being in place of MC as a tester, but I decided to take it into a more darker and grounded in canon territory. That is, Mint Eye effectively winning, and taking the rest of the RFA into its ranks. It is also kind of one-sided, but it was definitely a fun little challenge for me to write!

There are now flowers for each of them in this garden.

The reason was a rather straightforward one. The garden simply couldn't be completed without all of Rika's most beloved friends, who she longed to see by her side so badly. With each new member slowly coming to accept true happiness into their hearts, the garden bloomed fuller and brighter. And how could it not? Rika believed that the garden resembled any living creature on this Earth. It needed care, nourishment, and company to grow big and strong in order to survive against the harsh mountain winds and colds. It would grow sad when it was neglected and abandoned, and it would grow happy when it was being cared for and loved.

And now, finally, the garden has been fully completed. Blooming beautifully in the soft moonlight. A living proof of Rika's success in building a prosperous and thriving paradise for all who felt abandoned by the cruel world outside of these secluded walls.

Bluebells for Zen.

Violets for Jaehee.

White chrysanthemums for Jumin.

And sunflowers for Yoosung.

All of them were together now. Blooming and growing happily among the daffodils that were always present in this garden. They are a constant reminder of its selfless creator.

On the other hand, Mr. Ray was a mystery to Yoosung. He was the one who led them all to the truth hidden behind those traitors' many lies, along with MC as his helpful assistant. He was the one who welcomed them to paradise first and guided them into Rika's loving emrace that would open them up to true happiness. And he was the one protecting them all.

Yet, they rarely, if ever, saw him after that. Of course, he was preoccupied with his duties. His contribution to Magenta's prosperity was almost as great as Rika's. But, out of everyone, Yoosung found himself growing ever more curious of the man that his cousin has trusted so much.

He was still unaware of so many things. It was fortunate that Rika was so understanding and considerate of all of them. She didn't scold him once for being too noisy: simply smiling and informing him that she is more than happy to arrange a shared activity for them to bond over.

As long as he doesn't interfere with their work schedule, that's fine by her.

That's how they ended up taking care of the many flowers in this rather huge garden. Yoosung would be completely lost if it weren't for Ray, who gracefully whirled through the many narrow paths sprinkled throughout the flower-filled grounds, like it was his second nature. His steps were one of confidence and precision, and it was hard not to admire him for his excellence.

It was almost a bit of a challenge to try and keep up with him, without losing sight of his magenta blazer in all the other bright colors surrounding them from all sides.

"-Savior has stated that we should check on the pink roses. She's worried some pests might have damaged them from the last time she visited them." Ray's voice was firm and measured as he instructed over his shoulder. Yoosung always found it odd how he spoke to Rika and the rest of the believers in a completely different way. Not to mention MC. It's like he was a completely different person altogether, depending on who he was speaking to. Still, he would be lying if he said he didn't like this confident and measured way of speaking. It made it easy to just let go and follow his lead without thinking much, if at all.

"Pests? I thought we had a few gardeners to take care of the garden?"

Ray scoffs, walking through the flowery bushes at a quick pace, making Yoosung hurry after him. "It would be a shame if their incompetence made Savior upset."

The conversation was not very pleasant, to say the least.

Yoosung sighs as silence resumes between them once more. It's evident that Ray is only doing this because Rika instructed him to. He can't help but wonder why is Ray so disinterested in anything that has to do with them. The only times he has ever seen him get emotionally invested in something, is when he saw him talking to MC next to his workroom, as well as his meetings with Rika. Yet, to the rest of the believers, Ray appeared almost indifferent and cold in his approach.

He decides to take a chance by initiating a conversation on his own accord. Looking at Ray, who had been examining a leaf of the particular rose, it seemed that his attempt had been successful. As, the man paused, his gaze darting off to the side for a moment, before he straightened up again.

"Yes, that is correct. Savior had that in mind since the moment the first flower has been planted. Magenta's garden couldn't be completed without you all here by her side."

Yoosung's heart froze. He was aware that Rika had never left them, of course. Not really. But, to hear the confirmation of her always wanting to reunite them one day... it made him smile.

He will always be thankful to her for exposing him to the truth.

He couldn't resist his curiosity. Taking a small step towards the white-haired hacker, he brought up the question that had been on his mind for some time now. "Is there a flower that represents... me?"

Ray returns his gaze, as if he were observing him silently. Despite this, his expression remained neutral. He nods, folding his arms behind his back as he stands to face him. He almost looked like a prince, standing with his back straight like that. "There is. There is a flower for each of you."

"Can I see it?" Instantly, Yoosung perks up and takes another step closer, almost instinctively.

Ray quirks a brow, a slight change in his expression that didn't escape Yoosung's attention. Was he taken aback? Curious? Or maybe just annoyed with him getting nosy instead focusing on the job? It was difficult to read. Ray was like a book that was closed tightly, with its cover blank or fully scratched out, preventing you from even reading its title, much less its contents. Yet, for some reason, Yoosung found himself wanting to read that book more and more with each passing day.

Nodding, the hacker instructs the other man to follow him with a quick shake of his head. "I suppose the Savior wouldn't mind you learning of that."

As they walked, Yoosung was deeply in thought. What is it that made him so interested in Ray? It's not like they worked together. Or even knew one another. Their ranks were all they had.

Oh, but he was aware of the reason.

Ray was by Rika's side during those years when they were apart. He was the one who knew so many things that Yoosung didn't.

There was a part of him that felt guilty and ashamed. Rika has given them everything they need to know. She has provided them with the whole truth about that liar V and that traitor Luciel. She has given them what nobody else could. Eternal happiness.

Yet, despite everything, another small part of him, the tiniest, quietest part of him, was still in desperate need of answers.

And they were all in Ray's possession.

"-There they are."

He was so lost in his thoughts that he almost bumped into the other man's back, making him scurry off with an embarrassed flush to his cheeks. Ray either didn't notice his clumsy stunt or didn't care about it. Yoosung followed his gaze to the flowers his attention was directed at.

He squints and raises his brows in confusion. "Sunflowers?"

Ray nods. "Sunflowers represent many things. But, they mostly hold the meaning of lasting happiness and loyalty."

He seemed quite knowledgeable about the topic. Yoosung came up to the large flowers, his fingers tracing over the stem of one of them thoughtfully. Lasting happiness and loyalty... is that how Rika thought of him? Such a sentiment made him smile.

What made him believe V's shameless lies in the first place? Of course she never died. He knew it in his heart.

"There is... more to it, though."

Ray adds, his voice sounding quieter this time around.

"More?"

The other man is now standing close to him, their shoulders touching ever so slightly. Ray doesn't seem to notice or think anything of it, but Yoosung finds himself becoming rather flustered at the sudden proximity, staring up at the hacker with a light blush dusting his cheeks.

"Sunflowers always follow the sun, wherever they turn. With no exceptions, no setbacks. My Savior told me that their unwavering loyalty to the sun reminded her of you. And, once you joined our paradise, she knew for sure that you will never stray from her." Ray turns to look at him in the eyes, his gaze strangely methodical. It causes him to gulp nervously. "-Sunflowers are lost without their sun. They cannot survive without its guidance. A sunflower without its sun there to tell it where to look, is lost and wilted. It will continue to wilt in misery until its sun comes back to show it where to turn."

Yoosung's breath grows shaky. He may have been bad at catching allegories, but this one was pretty on the nose. It left behind a bitter taste in his mouth.

"...I suppose a sunflower really is... my flower."

For some reason, that admission felt heavy in his gut. Like a bag of rocks settling deep within his body, pulling him down with their weight.

"You should be grateful that our Savior will always be there to guide you from now on. You will never feel the absence of her gentle hand again. Isn't that what you always wanted? To be told what to do."

"...Savior is too kind."

5 notes · View notes

austajunk · 1 year

Note

can you do 1 3 and 35 with clockmare? ive been reading all your fics and theyre so good!!!

Thank you so much, anon, and I'm so sorry this took so long. It's my first time writing Clockmare but the recent DLC for Fubuki really made me love them. ❤️

Triggers: Mild allusions to prostitution, fingering, trust issues

Purchasing the trust of another was always a balancing act for as long as Halara Nightmare could remember. At this point, they were quite used to it. It was a minor inconvenience to interact with the world around them, but they always put up with it because of all the Shien they would rake in at the end of the day. The world was a rotten place from Halara's point of view and to use every interaction as a transaction of goods seemed to help them micro manage things one step at a time.

"How much?" Halara asked Fubuki Clockford when they were alone at the agency.

It was hard to get a moment alone with the Clockford heiress with everyone coming and going around the Nocturnal Detective Agency from morning to night. In the rare moment when Halara found Fubuki sitting beside the fireplace on one of the sofas, they weren't going to let their chance go to waste. Fubuki had caught Halara's eyes. As ditzy and downright strange the voluptuous woman could be, Halara found her intriguing. She was beyond wealthy. She was a full-on rarity due to her family title and her Forte. There wasn't another out there like Fubuki.

Halara had to know. How much did Fubuki cost?

"Hm?" Fubuki lifted her head and glanced at the detective who had sat down across from her. "I am quite sorry. I am afraid my head was in the skies. I think that is what they say anyways." She rested her hands in her lap and gave Halara a polite smile. "What were you saying, Halara?"

"That’s alright," Halara said sharply. They crossed their legs and narrowed their gaze. When it came to Fubuki, Halara found it surprisingly easy to be more patient with her. Maybe it was that innocent smile or the little bit of gentleness in her voice.

But Halara would make it clear to Fubuki no matter what. "I'm saying that I wish to purchase you for the night. I want you to come to dinner and then spend the night with me. Of course, that includes you doing whatever I say when we return to the hotel room. If I want to touch you, you'll let me touch and play with your body. Ultimately, I want us to have sex."

Fubuki concentrated hard for a moment. It was almost amusing to see the gears turn in her head from what Halara had just said. Interestingly enough, Fubuki didn’t appear uncomfortable; in fact, she seemed only a little flushed.

"And…you want to pay me for these things?" Fubuki asked, taking her time with each word that came from her mouth.

Halara nodded. "That's right. How much do you want? I'd prefer to keep this as a transaction rather than anything serious or emotional."

The heiress shook her head. "That… doesn't feel like something you should pay me for." Halara had to wonder if Fubuki was even considering the sexual component of what they had proposed.

"It sounds like an adventure between close friends!"

Halara nearly broke their sucker with their teeth and paled. Did Fubuki even hear what they wanted? "I am being serious. I don't want something emotional with you. As a detective, I abhor any sort of loyalty or commitment. I want to buy you and use your body for the night." Was it harsh to be so blunt?

"Still…I would rather not take any payment from you, Halara," replied Fubuki, a bit too earnestly for Halara's liking. "If we are going to do something together, then it is an adventure for both of us as friends."

What was Halara supposed to say to that? Fubuki had honestly taken them aback and so, Halara was locked in a moment of silence. "Very well," they finally said. As soon as they saw Fubuki's curve into that happy smile, they did their best not to grunt uncomfortably.

"I am still paying for dinner and whatever you desire for the night."

Was this pitiful? Halara felt like they were reaching for some sort of leverage in this relationship. A way to put themself back into control above Fubuki, a way to make the heiress indebted to them. But still, the smiling face of the beauty across from them made Halara wonder why they felt they needed it so badly.

–

"This is so much fun!" Fubuki declared, strolling along the streets of Kamasaki district. She hung off Halara's arm underneath a rented dronebrella to avoid the rain above. In her arms were a few boxes of chocolate and a bag of takoyaki. It was hardly restaurant-quality food, but even Halara had to admit that walking around the various districts and stopping at the cafe with Fubuki was rather nice. There was something to be said about the joy Fubuki took in every single thing she did. Halara couldn't imagine approaching the world like she did, but when they observed her going about her day, she made them want to be less guarded in their approach.

As Halara had "ordered", Fubuki wore a long, navy gray dress that hugged every curve the woman had. Her usual braided hair was traded for a mass of long curls that hung over her shoulders. With a pearl necklace with a red gem at the center to finish off the look, Fubuki looked every bit the image of a high society date. And she didn't seem to really mind indulging Halara in what they wanted to see her in. The string-based black lingerie set that went with the outfit was always a plus as well.

The only problem was that Fubuki, in her usual enthusiasm, insisted that Halara get dressed up as well.

Halara had flushed, their chest tightening with slight embarrassment. "Really?"

"Oh, yes!" Fubuki said, her eyes shining. In her arms was some sort of suit ensemble. Where had she even found those? Halara had only left her alone for one moment to select the dress they wanted for Fubuki at the boutique and when they had returned, Fubuki's arms were stuffed with pieces of a suit.

A pin-striped suit. Halara tried hard not to grit their teeth and sighed. "I am paying for this too," they said firmly.

Nodding eagerly, Fubuki stuffed the dark, violet suit into Halara's arms and pushed them into the dressing room. Halara tried to fathom not looking in the mirror and just doing as Fubuki asked, but they couldn't leave the dressing room without seeing themselves in the suit. They scoffed and tried to push down their embarrassment, tucking their lilac hair behind the suit collar. It seemed they were as much Fubuki's date as Fubuki was to be theirs. But…that was alright, wasn't it?

After showing themselves off in the suit Fubuki picked for them, the woman beamed at Halara and threw her arms through theirs. From that point on, the night was filled with a long walk and lots of talking mostly from Fubuki's end. Halara found they simply didn't mind it.

It was a noisy evening compared to most of the ones Halara spent on their own, but it was genuinely preferable so long as Fubuki clung to them.

–

Once they had reached the hotel, Halara found that they were actually a bit tired. Fubuki had dragged them all over Kanai Ward and talked so much that Halara actually slid over to bed and laid back. Fubuki collapsed beside them with a sweet chuckle against Halara's chest. With their hands rising around Fubuki's waist, the heiress curled into their chest and pressed a sweet kiss to Halara's cheek.

It was almost a scene that Halara was content with. A day out with a friend. They had fun together, but Halara wanted more. They wanted what they were originally going to pay for, but it felt like too much to ask for. And so the question hung in their throat.

Holding Fubuki there seemed right. She hung over Halara's waist beneath the hotel room light, her light hair pouring down her shoulders.

"Oh! That's right," Fubuki whispered above them. Her cheeks were a little warm from getting out of the cold rain. "You wanted to touch me…right?"

Halara nodded, letting their hands rest on Fubuki's hips. "That's why I purchased you for the night." Even though they hadn't really bought Fubuki herself, they had paid for everything they had done up to that point.

"But…" Halara's voice trailed off. For a moment, they had forgotten everything they wanted. Earlier, they had set out with something to prove, that a high value person like Fubuki really could be bought with the Shien Halara had obtained. That they were worth Fubuki's time… and her trust.

"We don't have to do that." Halara sat up and gently shifted Fubuki's weight to the bed. There was nothing to prove to Fubuki. And surely, Fubuki didn't have to prove herself to them either. Halara avoided Fubuki's confused glance to obscure their own guilt. "It's already been an adventure."

"Still…" Fubuki's voice perked Halara back up. "I don't want the adventure to end. Is it my fault? Do you not trust me?"

Halara blinked. They turned back to Fubuki and caught that sincere look in her eyes. Once again, their chest felt tight. Why did she invoke this weakness inside of them?

"I… don't typically trust anyone," Halara admitted. "There's no need."

"I see… well, that's alright," said Fubuki. She moved her hair to her other shoulder. "I still don't want to end our adventure here. I want to go as far as I can with you, Halara!"

"You…" Halara brushed their hand to their face to hide the briefest smile that had appeared there. "You really are a bit ridiculous…"

Ridiculous as it was, Halara found their hands filled with Fubuki's chest and urging that slender dress down as their lips met. That possessive streak hit them once again and they made sure Fubuki knew it with a bite and a tug on her bottom lip. The whimper Fubuki gave off was all too satisfying. The woman on top off them winced and succumbed to Halara's arms while she dug at the tie of the suit to remove what she could as well.

"Halara-!"

That was all Fubuki was going to get out. Halara plopped the heiress on her back over the bed and continued to kiss and nip at her neck. Every sound and squeal the woman made could be felt on the trail of possessive tugs on her throat from Halara's teeth. Fubuki's experiences were being shaped by them and they wanted Fubuki to know it. But they couldn't help but to drink in every breath, every moan, every delighted giggle that Fubuki made.

They reached her breasts and cupped them once more into their hands. Their thumbs slid around the swollen pink nubs, stroking them and circling them until the left one was brought between Halara's lips. It felt all too scandalous and perverted to partake in the heiress like this, but Halara savored it. Everything from Fubuki's moans to her body heat mesmerized them. She really was well worth the Shien…and so much more.

"Ha..Ha…" Fubuki tried to moan out their name but Halara's hand quickly sank beneath her panties to cut her off.

"Don't worry…" Halara breathlessly told her, their saliva still connecting Fubuki's nipple to their lips. "Just trust me."

Their digits stroked Fubuki's pink slit underneath her panties, working her up until they felt Fubuki groaning and undulating to them. Halara switched the right nipple to suck and bite while their free hand continued to stroke the reddened nub they freed from their lips. They bit at Fubuki's soft chest. Hard enough to leave a swollen, purple mark but nothing to break the skin. Halara was far more loving than that and if anything, they admired Fubuki's beauty with all their heart.

Even as they worked their fingers to Fubuki's clothes, pinching the delicate button, Halara's eyes were locked on her face. The winces, the way her full, pink lips formed that little "O" of pleasure made Halara's mind all too dizzy with need and want.

"It's going to be okay…" Halara assured her in a hushed breath. They traced around her folds in delicate motions, drawing her out, teasing her until those sounds told them that Fubuki was ready for one finger inside of her. Then another. They worked slow to fill her and to place the thumb steadily to her clit, to find the rhythm in the movement of her hips.

The trembles of Fubuki's body guided Halara to her lips to quiet her with another kiss. Biting wasn't needed anymore. Fubuki kissed them back with just as much fervor, taking that adventurous determination to explore Halara's mouth and massage their tongue with her own. In turn, it was Halara who moaned and pulsed against Fubuki in desire. The woman beneath her was too sweet, too trusting… and Halara found that was what they wanted too. To let go and simply be with another person wasn't a world they could just partake in so easily, but Fubuki made them want to close their eyes and try.

It was there for them. A place where they could just close their eyes and trust that the other person wanted Halara just as much…

Fubuki whimpered and dug her head into the crook of Halara's neck, burying their companion in the sweetest kisses and nips. They weren't harsh or possessive like Halara's; instead, they swept over the detective's skin with an adventurous and learning intuition, trying out every spot to see what they could draw from the one above her. Halara tilted their head and allowed Fubuki to find her footing, to mark them in ways Fubuki wanted to just as she felt that distinctive jolt of pleasure inside of the woman.

Fubuki's body tensed and shuddered, the orgasm trailing and building to Halara's digits as they played and drew her out. The polite nature of the heiress was ultimately dispelled as the short moans filled the air instead. Watching the young detective's body curl around Halara's fingers drew the breath from their lips in pride. Halara didn't think they could ever get used to it, nor the subtle quivers of Fubuki's naked chest as it rose and fell.

"That was… I…" Fubuki gasped, her cheeks red and her mouth watering. Her right palm had been gripping the comforter of the bed.

Halara shrugged, adoring the sight as they poured over her. Their free hand slid across the purple welts they had left across Fubuki's collarbone. "You should work on recovering. I doubt you want this adventure to be over just yet…"

#mdarc #master detective archives: rain code #rain code #halara nightmare #fubuki clockford #clockmare #i love writing Halara being a dick who can't ask a girl out like a normal person #my ficlets #nsft prompt #nsft #thanks for the ask!

6 notes · View notes

lulupen2023 · 2 years

Text

Bart Crouch Jr/Aro Volturi Harry Potter/Twilight crossover

I love Barty Crouch Jr so so so much, which means I always try to find a way to save him, this is one... I post the first part and see how it goes:

Summary:

Barty Crouch Junior's (somewhat horrifying) fate seems to have already been written… or maybe not? What if there was someone who has other plans for him?

Small premise: it is the first time that I fully enter the world of 'Harry Potter' (so far I have only taken a character from the context and moved him to other fandoms ^^ ') and I will do it in a very marginal way, also because this is a crossover.

Setting: alternative IV book final Pairing: Baro aka BartyAro , also BartyXVoldemort but only one-sided

Important: there is a remarkable plot twist that I need, I mixed the events of the film with those of the book. Dumbledore's reporting in the film is assumed to lead to a new trial against Barty Crouch Junior… with that terrible sentence.

In the book this process has never been there (thank you very much, damn you, Cornelius Fudge !!), but fanfics exist for this, right? Here, now you can understand my madness better . I’ve also changed another little thing from the canon, you will understand why

I: You really don't get it, do you?

That night seemed to never end. Strange, for it was the last night he had left to live.

Yet, it was so. Bartemius Crouch Junior, locked up again in an Azkaban cell, had the impression that the seconds lasted as minutes and minutes lasted as hours.

Perhaps this is how people felt when the moment of their death began to approach inexorably. He wandered back and forth in the narrow space he had at his disposal. It was not like the other cells. They were more claustrophobic, where there was only a slot that allowed prisoners to communicate with the outside. This one had bars that allowed him to look into the corridor. Not that there was much to see, but it was better than nothing. If there was one thing that Barty was watching carefully, however, it was his fine tailored suits, which had been given to him once he had stripped off his leather jacket and more frugal clothing he had worn for his Mission. They were just like the ones he had at the first trial, the one that was not supposed to involve him as a protagonist. He would have gotten away if it weren't for the insinuations from that damn Karkaroff and that even more damn Mad Eye Moody, who had blocked him before he could escape. Correction. Barty had been given back the very same clothes he wore during the day of that trial. Perhaps as a good omen that once again everything was going well, that the bad guys were about to be brought to justice and other bullshit!

Let them do whatever they pleased with him; his beloved Dark Lord would triumph anyway, it was only a matter of time. He had contributed to his rebirth. No, it was too modest to say that. Barty had been decisive in Voldemort’s rebirth. This was the only thing that mattered. Sure, Barty longed to be at Voldemort's side in his glorious return, but he clearly understood what a sacrifice meant and his would not be in vain. If it hadn't been for Dumbledore's timing, Cornelius Fudge would have thrown the Dementor that he had brought with him directly in the office where Barty had been interrogated. Even if it was something inevitable, deep within his heart, Barty had been glad to delay that awful moment. If they did that trial as well, in all likelihood it would have been his father to preside over it. In light of what happened, the Ministry wouldn’t have hesitated to give him his old office again. Certainly Bartemius Crouch Senior would have felt an undisguised satisfaction in sentencing his own son to the worst possible penalty.

He hadn't even flinched when it came to sending him to Azkaban at the tender age of nineteen.

His father. Had it not been for the orders from his Dark Lord, the devoted Death Eater would have been more than happy to kill him and take revenge for the treatment he had accorded him in those years of captivity, under his father’s oversight. They were even worse than his days in Azkaban , if possible.

However he couldn't. The Imperius Curse cast by Voldemort himself worked pretty well. They were safe, and Bartemius Crouch Senior was more useful alive than dead.

This was before, due to the only misstep made by the young Dark Wizard, his cover was screwed up and everything was found out. However, after the confessions that had been snatched from him with the cunning ruse of the Veritaserum, his father in all likelihood must already have been freed from the Curse that subjugated him.

Had he known this earlier, Barty would have enjoyed the sadistic satisfaction of eliminating his father in such a subtle way that he would not even have a proper burial. If only…

The Death Eater's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps echoing in the corridor. Strange. No visitors were allowed. Least of all to a man sentenced to death. "Good evening." He heard the voice, even before he could see to whom it belonged. It was velvety, caressing. Shortly thereafter, the owner of that voice revealed himself in front of the bars. Barty studied him.

He was a tall man with an elegant bearing, dressed in a black suit that emphasized his slender figure. His straight, shoulder-length raven hair contrasted with his pale skin, not to mention his eyes. Was it a strange play of light or were they really red? "Who are you? What do you want? Who sent you here? " Barty growled. "Tsk, tsk, this doesn't seem the proper way to welcome your benefactor," the other protested, shaking his head.

Barty was surprised by that answer, even more so when he saw the man put the key in the lock and open the cell. He could have fled, dodging the stranger with a nimble movement, and quickly escaped. Yet instinct told him to stand still and do absolutely nothing.

The stranger entered the cell, closing it and advancing towards him, calmly. "You ... you haven't told me yet who you are, or why you're doing this!" Barty insisted, grumpy, though more overwhelmed by curiosity and confusion. "You ask too many questions," the other chuckled, without taking his eyes off him. Barty felt almost undressed by such a... hungry look. "And you didn't even give an answer!" retorted the Death Eater. “How did you get in? What about the guards who are out there? " "Alec is inhibiting their senses. I suppose that, in the meantime, Jane is torturing them, too. You know, she can do something similar to what some of you do with the wand, only more practical and faster!" the stranger explained with a smirk. "You will get to know them and you will like them, I'm sure of that." he added mysteriously. "I don't think I understand ..." the Dark Wizard muttered, but the other ignored him.

“As for the guards, when they are done, they will bring them in front of you, so you can take care of them. Erase their memory. You should be able to do it with one of these odd tools, right? " he went on, pulling something out of his pocket that Barty knew very well; so much so that his eyes lit up.

That was a magic wand.

“As you can see, the key isn't the only thing I stole from one of the guards. I know it's not yours, but then we'll take care of that issue, too, ” his mysterious benefactor explained, holding out his wand. Barty started to take it, but the other pulled it back before he could touch it, fast. Way too fast.

"Ah-ah, don't be in such a hurry, my friend," the other warned him, putting the wand back into his pocket.

"Wait a minute, it can't all be that easy ... the Dementors, how ..." the Death Eater muttered, more and more perplexed.

"Oh. Well, for them, it is as if we did not exist. They perceive the presence of the only thing they cannot find in us," the other winked at him.

"Who or what are you?" Barty frowned, backing away. His listener’s red eyes sparkled with a particularly amused light. “Oh come on, you really don't get it, do you? And yet I've heard that you are among the smartest wizards! " Barty finally understood everything. "You're a vampire!" “You guessed right, my dear. I'm Aro Volturi, head of the Volturi clan. I can boast very ancient origins. Let's say some millenia," the vampire chuckled.

"Undead ..not alive ... you are ambiguous creatures. I don't want anything to do with you. I'm a Pureblood!" growled the Death Eater. "Just one more reason why your blood must be delicious," Aro said, slowly licking his lips, in a way that Barty found simply too sensual.

"Why me?" the Dark Wizard asked him. "Because I have been watching you for a long time and I will not allow such a waste of potential to happen," Aro murmured, approaching and reaching out to him. "Can I...?" Strangely Barty found himself nodding and the vampire placed his hand on his right cheek, in a sort of caress.

"Oooh, I'm fascinated by the pleasure you take in torturing and killing people," Aro smiled, closing his eyes to concentrate better. "Even with bare hands?" he reopened them, more amused than before. Barty nodded proudly, but then frowned, breaking the contact. "Wait .. but how do you know?" he asked, but gave himself the answer a moment later. "You just had to touch me."

“That's right, it's my power. Each vampire has one that distinguishes them," Aro explained. “From what I've seen, I can tell that someone here also seems to have a predisposition to cut throats. Excellent. But I could give you something better than oh-so-gross knives. " Barty did not understand the meaning of his words.

“But I have seen much more. This devotion of yours for your Master ... there's more, you love him, don't you? " Feeling his soul bared, the Dark Wizard could not help but nod. "But you also know that the feeling is not mutual, not the way you would like. To him, you are only his devoted servant; perhaps the most devoted among the males," Aro continued.

“It's for Bellatrix, right? He loves her!" the Death Eater cornered him. "He loves no one but himself," the vampire answered calmly. Even without a wand, although weakened by not eating for two days, Barty Crouch Junior was still potentially dangerous and lethal and did not hesitate to show it to Aro. "No one insults my Dark Lord!" he shouted, anger burning in his eyes. “Don't you dare call him selfish! He will let us live glorious ages in his kingdom! " he continued, his voice more like a snarl. His fingers tightening around that moon-white throat, as hard as stone and as cold as ice. His only answer was Aro bursting out laughing, just before breaking free from his grasp too easily. "What a temper, I like you more and more, you know?" he smiled at him, embarrassing him. "And anyway, if I say certain things, it's because I can say them with certainty, don't you think so?" he looked at him slyly. Once again the Death Eater made the right connection of the information he had received. "You touched my Lord, too. You ... you saw him, you saw him after his return." Now the vampire held the Dark Wizard's fullest attention. "Please tell me how he was." Barty asked him in a submissive tone of voice. He would also have prostrated himself on the ground, just to have that information so precious to him. "Potter was no help at all when I asked him!" he rolled his eyes. “Oh yes, I saw him. I was in his presence, just before I came here to you. He has a body again. He is tall, mighty, and very, very powerful. He is elegant, both in his movements and in his behavior, but never as elegant as me! " Aro chuckled impertinently.

Barty listened to him in awed silence. His mouth hung half open in amazement, but his eyes were closed to picture better in his mind what the stranger was telling him. He opened them only when he felt Aro's index finger under his chin. “What I said earlier was not an offense. Not being overwhelmed by all too human emotions, like love, makes your Dark Lord who he is. It’s part of his indisputable charm," he explained. "And anyway, no one is asking you to deny your Dark Lord. You can continue to love him as much as you want ..." he murmured, starting to stroke Barty's hair. Barty let him do it, enjoying that oh-so-delicate touch. "I just wonder... who loves you, who’s got you?" Aro asked him, his hands reaching down to caress his face, his mouth so close to his. Barty seemed to recover from that moment of weakness, pulling away from him, abruptly. "Stay away from me!" he growled.

He had to admit that that vampire was very attractive and that scared him. It wasn't just his physical appearance, there was something...more...about him. Beyond his gentle and polite manner, that ostentatious affability, he perceived a darkness that drew him like a bee to honey. The more he looked at Aro, the more he wanted to abandon himself in his arms. Maybe Aro had guessed that too, but he preferred not to insist, not to impose anything on him, not to be too urgent. He just talked to him, and his voice and flattery could be a pretty fearsome weapon. “Let me love you, let me save you, we can do terribly wonderful and wonderfully terrible things together. Your dark magic, my powers, eternal life… ”

It was Barty's turn to laugh, but he did it contemptuously.

“What eternal life? I don't even have a whole day… tomorrow I'll be fed to the Dementors. There won't be anything left of me… ”

Aro looked at him amused, tilting his head to one side to study him better.

"You really don’t get it, do you, huh?" He approached the Dark Wizard slowly, pleased to see that this time, he no longer flinched. His hands were already on his shoulders, his ruby eyes fixed on Barty's dark, chocolate ones. Well. Chocolate for now until they changed at the wizard's graduation.

"Is it still not clear to you why I'm here tonight?" Aro smiled, baring a little more the already pointed canines. At last it was all perfectly clear to Barty. "Ooohh," he lit up with enthusiasm, grinning. "Yes. I like it."

The vampire watched, almost hypnotized, as the Death Eater's jerky tongue slipped out of his lips several times. That tongue made him have impure thoughts and it only intrigued him even more.

"I like it too, you will be such a precious addition to my collection!" Aro joined his hands, with an eerie grin.

"Collection?" Barty frowned.

“I'm always looking for special people to add to my ranks. I have the feeling that I already know what your power will be and, believe me, you will love it." Aro chuckled in anticipation, then became more serious. “But, Barty, you won't be just a mere addition. You are worth so much more and then you are so beautiful… ” he murmured, stroking his neck, anticipating the moment when his canines would sink into his skin. Barty let him do it, getting lost in his fantasies.

Aro was his key to freedom, no matter if the price to pay was his humanity. If there was an opportunity he had to see his Dark Lord again, even if it was just one last time, he would grab that opportunity tooth and nail. He pushed against Aro and kissed him without thinking. It wasn't a sweet kiss, it wasn't a hesitant kiss. Aro was surprised and pleased, so he allowed the wizard all the access he wanted.

One of Barty’s hand passed between those raven threads of silk, while the other was pressed against his chest, stroking it through the fabric. The kissing alternated with bites that had the sole function of exploring. Oh yes, Aro would have a blast with this indomitable wizard. However, by establishing contact with him again, he noticed something.

"I've seen your reasons for doing it," he pulled away from him, with a sad smile. “If you accept, you must stay with me. You will be able to see your Dark Lord. You can continue to serve him. But you will be my Mate. In time you will learn to love me and that will certainly not make you a less efficient Death Eater, if that is what you fear,” he said, reading him like an open book.

"I ..." the wizard bit his lip, struggling.

"You will be both a Death Eater and a bloodsucker!" Aro stole a smile from him with his witty remark. "Besides, think about the consequences, think about what might happen tomorrow." Of all the things he sensed about Barty, one of the strongest was his relentless hatred of his father.

"I can already taste his blood in my throat!" Barty burst out laughing, a deranged expression crossing his face and tongue darting out, eager. All of this only excited Aro even further more.

"Do it," Barty growled against his lips. "Do it now!" he urged him with another kiss.

Aro smiled, then playfully pushed him away. "Calm down, puppy, there's time for everything." Aro chuckled, tracing the outline of Barty's mouth with his fingers. "And then, as long as you're conscious, there's one thing I need you to do." As if they had heard him, which was likely, a few minutes later Jane and Alec showed up in front of the cell carrying a total of six guards with ease. The cell was opened again by Aro. The bars could be enchanted, so it was better not take any chances.

Barty approached the threshold, studying what he understood to be two other vampires. They looked back with the same curiosity, especially Jane. Alec seemed rather bored.

"You know what you have to do," Aro said to Barty, handing him the wand.Now he could trust him.

"Oh no, the prisoner has a wand!" One of the guards was alarmed. "My wand!" a second guard despaired.

"Oh yes, but fear not, I'll make a wise use of it!" Barty grinned, casting on them, one by one, the Oblivion spell, without feeling his weakened state. Not even the Imperius Curses that followed, exhorting them to leave and ignore what was happening, seemed to give him any trouble. He also had enough energy for six Avada Kedavra. He knew it would be so much fun, but he also knew that such an action would be eye-catching and drawing attention was the last thing he needed. "Magnificent, truly magnificent!" Aro commended him, even applauding him, enthused. Jane was also particularly fascinated.

"Aro, are you sure you want to take care of him all alone?" she asked him hopefully as he closed the cell. Barty stared at that very attractive, petite blonde, who seemed to emanate a strong aura of power, though never as strong as the one he could perceive in Aro.

Although flattered by her interest towards him, he wanted to deal only and exclusively with Aro. With a grim look Aro sent a clear message to the vampiress he had created centuries ago. No further words were needed and, although a little annoyed, the blonde walked away with her twin brother.

"Alone again," Barty smiled, moving closer to him. "Let's not waste any more time," he said as he exposed his neck. With great self-control, Aro pulled away from that appealing offer.

"How much impatience, puppy!" he laughed, wrapping an arm around Barty's slender waist. "You know, first I want something in return ...." He shot him a look full of desire.

“You want my body, right? Use me as much as you want, I don't care. " Barty replied, taking off his jacket and beginning to unbutton his shirt, without poetry. He was about to undo his trousers, too, but Aro stopped him, holding the Dark Wizard's hands in his.

“Oh please, don't make it seem like a sacrifice. I know you care, I can read it. " Aro said, catching him off guard. "And you have no idea how good I can make you feel, how much you'll like it."

He kissed him again, without Barty showing any resistance. This time it was a slower, more tender kiss, but no less deep. Was it another vampire power to kiss so damn good? Barty was wondering that as the vampire's lips dropped to place a chaste, normal kiss on the left side of his neck. He trembled in anticipation of what would happen that very last night he would live as a human.

TBC

#barty crouch junior #barty crouch jr #aro volturi #twilight #harry potter #crossover #crossover fanart #fanfiction #fanfic #barty crouch fanfic #aro volturi fanfic #dark #what if #alternate ending #plot twist #vampires #vampire turning #rating: nc17 #bloodplay

4 notes · View notes

fleastinger · 3 months

Text

Fucking christ, i think i need to move on. I keep clinging to the thought of you whenever a crisis happens. I miss talking to you even though its a fantasy at this point and not a risk id want to take. Or just looking at you, hearing from you, even though i dont want to risk the growth and happiness ive had for the last few months. Its maddening. Its evidence of how codependent i was on you, of obsessively looking at you the way you looked at me. I was constantly checking too, always knowing what you were doing and if you watched something or thought of me. I was always trying to meet you on it.

I started blue lock finally. After trying and failing to start the manga 3 times. I think ive watched probably 30 or 49 different once piece episodes, trying to think about who was your favorite and all the things you liked about one piece. I

I keep reading between too many lines just looking at your soundcloud. Its driving me crazy. I feel like you're doing it too. I never know if you repost songs intentionally, to reach me, as if you watch me change my icon every few weeks. You used to ask me to stay quiet whenever you'd play certain songs in the car, just vibing to them and hoping i would understand how you felt about things through them.

I've never been so hot potato with my soundcloud. I got too nosy. When i noticed you unblocked me on instagram, i unblocked you on soundcloud. I missed your message, and it's been hell ever since. And funny, since i was told starting antidepressants would stop me from fixtating on you.

Inever know whatever traces ive left of myself that you see or not. I really tried to wipe myself off of twitter.

Im sorry. I cant trade the amount i miss you with the peace and healing I've had in the months since. I think you're better off without me, that you would resent me for making you hope for me even though ive dated people between us getting together each time. I think i can't be with you until you fix your health and your life, something my therapist calls us codependent trauma on each other.

I havent dreamed of you in a while. But whenever life gets tough, whenever shit gets too real, i think about the feeling of holding you. The way your hair felt under my fingers, how I'd try to be gentle, knowing how sensitive your scalp was. How it felt to cry into you, hearing you tell me how much you loved me and wanted whats best for me. I miss how you loved, even as i learn to love another. I wish i wasn't so controlling and mean, and you weren't someone i was scared of, someone i wanted badly to be doing better only to see relaspe and break my trust .

You never let me into your drug addiction. If you hid that, you could hide anything from me and i would still love you for it, which made me mad.

So when i think of your sweet lips, and the happiness you made me feel, i remind myself of the day you took those muscle relaxers. How i cried and begged for you to get help. How i kept changing what i wanted because i started to believe less and less on if things could work out. How i left, just to go home, cry , and spend a week in bed mad over you.

When i think of the future we couldve had, with our beautiful babies with curly hair and long lashes, maybe freckles and definitely brown hair, I remind myself of the past we did have. Of you feeling like i abandoned you, and always thinking i would leave.

So im sorry. I hope you moved on from me. I hope you liked that song because you met someone that made you listen to mariya takeuchi instead of my birth month being in september. I hope your emojis on your profile page is for someone else, not me. And i hope you forgot my twitter name being fleastinger, that you never find this page of my sorry ass trying to get over you.

0 notes

ivant1ll · 2 years

Text

It's okay, I got you. I won't let you go. (comfort fic)

. . . Content Desc ! (ノ・ω・)ノ

i am finally back once again after a month. . . ⤿ ;; Mayoi Ayase x Reader ୧ .˚ₓ this is a . . . sad fluff // (technically angst but.. good relationship) -> TW : overall bad mental state, mentions of su!cidal thoughts. i've had this idea for a fic like this for some time technically to help me out at one point. but, now ive finally decided to actually work on it so this hopefully helps you just as it helped me. ILY <3 you're so pretty/handsome and keep on slaying !!! ^^ word count : 2099 [[ another long one.. sorry ! ]]

, , i kinda felt like changing up my formatting a bit for stuff so. . . hope it looks nice ! `` for once im not going to really write a setting up the scene, i just wanna get into things, seeing as theres not much setup i can really think of . . . ENJOY (ꈍᴗꈍ)

Staring at the ceiling for hours has become a norm for you as of late. Eyes heavy and tired, bloodshot red from having given into your feelings and bursting into tears once again. Your head can only simply register one thing, a single thought, "Why am I so tired?" But you know why you're tired, you know why you're here. But that's the last thing you want to think about. Maybe if you were to isolate your thoughts so much, it wouldn't seep out onto others, you wouldn't infect them with your incredible burnout and awful mental state. Maybe, if... you just weren't here anymore, you wouldn't have to let anybody down?

It's felt as if almost everything around you is slowly crashing down, the fact that it's all happened so slowly only makes it even worse. Like a "fuck you" that never goes away. Almost as if your new constant stresses and worries don't take up all the time in your day. Eating and sleeping have never felt like such a task, even as little as you've partaken in such tasks over these 2 weeks. "If I'm always hurting someone else or making their day worse, then why shouldn't mine be worse?" Nothing but self destructive thoughts, clawing and chipping away at the usual outspoken vivacious person that is yourself. Counting the hours that pass or occasionally opening your phone just to stare at your lock screen being the only thing keeping you from floating away in that awful fucked up brain of yours.

You feel truly utterly useless, everything you have done or tried to do has lost all its worth. The frowns of other people begin to feel like knives penetrating through you, twisting and mixing your insides, almost making you feel sick. You feel so embarrassed that your only thoughts can be "Why am I here?" or "What's stopping me." Why can't you just be normal? Why can't you just feel happy? You don't like isolating yourself, but you can't bother to leave your room even though it has been days.

As you continue laying there, every blink you make feeling tenfold of what it truly is, you are jolted back to your senses as you hear a soft knock coming from your door. Unable to really ignore it, seeing as you can't really lie about not being home, your car is outside. You return the knock, trying to hide how tired you are, "What happened?" The door then opens a small bit, only being the slightest bit ajar, just barely enough for a head to stick out from it. And that is just what happened, suddenly you see at first small bits of messy plum-purple hair stick in through the small crevice made. Then, you begin to see it, the face of the oh so lovely yet oh so timid Mayoi. At that very moment, it then suddenly hit you... "You've probably had your boyfriend worried sick this whole time." Mayoi had always been the type to show the highest bit of concern for you, no matter what was going on. But, he would never want to invade your privacy, if he think you needed your own space, he'd give just that. Even so, he'd always be right there by your side no matter what, through thick and thin Mayoi was there even if you two haven't decided to move in with each other yet. He would often have his moments where his overwhelming stresses and anxieties get the better of him and he can't help but break into a panic, being able to comfort him and help him through that would send your heart to the moon.

Mayoi's whole head suddenly peeks through the door, you hear a slight rustle coming from what seems to be something in his hand which is obstructed by the doors view. His striking cyan eyes always catch you off guard. It's always as if they are staring into the deepest part of your body, just studying you. With a concerned frown on his face, he can't help but see how tired you look, and seeing your face slightly red from the previous crying you had done only makes him more worried. Finally, Mayoi musters up the courage to say something.

"Y/n.. I'm really worried about you. Y-you haven't come out of your room in a few days, I'm so sorry for being a bother but, d-do you need me to stay for a few days?" Mayoi sounds like he might even shed a tear himself, you are simply shooken to your core seeing his face, the true worry, sadness, confusion. You don't want to leave Mayoi like that, but no matter what it just feels like you can't get your shit together. Feeling such guilt and doing nothing more than blaming yourself for Mayoi's concern, you ask him to come into your room.

He becomes a bit flustered at the request, "Are you sure I should come in? I don't want to invade your space."

"How could such a considerate person deserve me.." you'd think to yourself and you fight the urge to frown even more noticeably. "It's just fine Mayoi, you're welcome into my room at any time, please don't feel worried to step in." You give him the most comforting smile your face can possibly contort into. The plum haired boy begins moving around the scattered clothes and small bits of garbage flooding the ground, trying his very best not to step on anything. Along with the more steps into your room he took, the rustling noise from before had been revealed to you to have been indeed a bag that was hanging from his wrist.

Every second he inches closer to your bed, you can feel your body tensing up, your heart rate only raising. "He shouldn't have to go through all this trouble for me, why do I cause him all this trouble? I should be a normal, loving, happy partner, yet here I am. Doing nothing but causing him trouble. Why do I keep on making mistakes, I'm only hurting him, why would he even stay with me if I'm that much of a bother, why am I even here anymore?!" You can't help but panic, why must you torment yourself like this any time someone dares to care about you, any time someone would even try to open their heart to a vile awful person like you.

Suddenly, as Mayoi reaches your bed, you have lost all track of your thoughts, how far you have sent yourself in terms of blind panic. Because, low and behold, you are already in tears, sitting there right in front of Mayoi. You are only made aware of this once you feel one of the crystal drops run down your cheek, almost tickling it. Mayoi jumps a bit, not expecting this sudden reaction.

"Y-Y/n?! D-did I do something wrong, are you alright?! Please don't cry.... I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!" A billion thoughts rush into Mayoi's head slightly sending him into a panic aswell. You can't help but blame yourself as always for this situation. But, you do the only thing that you think you can do right now, you just... hug him, you latch your arms around Mayoi and you don't let go. Almost having him in a death grip, you can do nothing more than try to let yourself feel the warm embrace and try to calm your boyfriend down. You let out sudden sporadic sobs, not being able to contain all these bottled up feelings, Mayoi suddenly shakes each time you let one of the sobs out.

After choking on your words more than enough, you are finally able to get a few words out. "Mayoi... I'm-" you take a deep breath trying to stop another sob from coming out, "I'm so sorry.." but you couldn't stop it, more tears came out. "I do nothing but hurt you, I do nothing but cause you pain, I keep on bringing you down with my problems. I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you, I don't want to be constantly worrying you, but somehow I can always fuck up and do just that. I keep on fucking up for everyone, no matter how hard I try. I'm just... so tired, I'm tired and I can't do this anymore. It's all so hard, I'm just a waste of space that's been nothing but a useless burden to everyone." You take one last shaky breath, more tears coming, "I'm sorry....". You can no longer comprehend any basic words to use to express how you feel, absolutely out of any energy to say anything more. You just dig your head into Mayoi's shoulder, and once again hug him.

It takes a while for anything else to happen, but that's fine with you, just being in Mayoi's arms gives you a sense of comfort, but an unimaginable sense of pain. His hand begins to reach for your hair, as he shakily strokes it, just like a parent would with their child trying to lull them to sleep.

"Y/n... you haven't done a single thing wrong. I'm so sorry these feelings have been bothering you so much. Please tell me... y/n" He hesitates, slowing down the gentle strokes in your h/c hair, "Are y-you okay y/n? I'm really sorry for asking but, I can't see you so sad like this. I'm in no place to assume how you feel, so please, if you have anything going on, you can tell me."

Knowing Mayoi would be willing to give that kind of space to open up about how you feel, you decide to finally let it out. Though the embarrassment won't go away, though all the bad thoughts feel so loud, you can't keep this from him anymore. It's not worth keeping it all in anymore, not when Mayoi is so concerned about you. You suddenly begin to let everything out, talking about your struggles, your constant concerns, and well.. the thoughts you've had. Being as brutally honest as you can is all you can do, but you make sure to remind Mayoi that none of this is his fault and in no ways are you upset at him. The last thing you would want is to have him panicking which would only make things worse. The fact that he is even here listening to you, and so intently as he is already enough of a shocker.

"That's... about all, I'm so sorry about the mess aswell, I'm just.. a mess right now." You sigh as you look downward with a look of shame and embarrassment that you'd let things get this low. It takes Mayoi a bit of time to find the right words to say, a process which normally would take him a fair amount of time. Once finding out what he wants to say and how to say it, he gently holds your hand, looking into your e/c eyes with the same look you always get as you stare into his eyes.

"Y/n, you've never been anything of a bother, I should have checked on you more. Never would I believe you deserve any of this..." He pauses. Getting lost in your gaze, which shakes him up a bit, he regains his grounds, "I-i want to help you in any ways that I can... I love you, and I will be here for you. Though I am nowhere close to anything above average, I want to love and care for you in whatever ways I can. Everything is going to be okay y/n, I got you. I won't let you go."

The last sentence he let out shook you to your core, and you could feel yourself tearing up again. You then fall right into him, but not suddenly enough to catch him off guard, and you just lay there. Never has an embrace felt so... comforting, so loving, so reassuring. But, Mayoi has proved a hug like that can exist and that yes... everything might end up really being okay. After some time, you sit back up. Mayoi looks to his left where he had placed the bag he had in hand down during the breakdown, and he passes you the bag.

"I'm s-sorry if you aren't hungry, but just in case you are, I got you your favorite." He slightly blushes as you open the bag to find a large assortment of foods and snacks you like; you can't help but smile and look at him.

"Thank you Mayoi... thank you, I love you"

#enstars #ensemble stars #comfort #comfort fic #mayoi ayase #ayase mayoi #enstars x y/n #enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #ensemble stars x y/n #ilysm

175 notes · View notes

jujutsuflavoredpeach · 2 years

Text

ENDING (PART II) - AS HE IS

Pairing Inumaki Toge x fem!reader Other Characters Okkotsu Yuta, Shoko Ieiri, Satoru Gojo, Itadori Yuji, Zen'in Maki, Fushiguro Megumi Content angst, hurt, longing, anger, struggle, romance, fluff, friendship, hopeful Warnings jjk MANGA SPOILERS, CULLING GAME SPOILERS PREVIOUS CHAPTERS ﹢PART I - AS HE IS﹢ ﹢PART II - AS HE IS﹢ ﹢PART III - AS HE IS﹢ ﹢PART IV (I) - AS HE IS﹢ / ﹢PART IV (II) - AS HE IS﹢ ﹢PART V - AS HE IS﹢ ﹢FINAL (PART I) - AS HE IS﹢

A/N ❀ ¡Hello there! Here is FINAL (PART II) of AS HE IS. The second part of the final chapter of this series. This is the definitely the ending, meaning there will be no more parts after this. I really dwelled on the type of ending I wanted to give to this multi-chapter madness, and here it is. Don't know what to feel, honestly. Super duper happy I get to mention @androgynousweaselpatrolbat , because this person's words were so damn vital for me, and I'd also like to dedicate the previous chapter to her as well. I srsly hope for everyone to meet someone who is just as kind to you as she's been with me, 'cause the internet needs a lot of that. And... If you are reading this: ∗ ࣪ ˖ ♡ ˖ ࣪ ∗I APPRECIATE YOU BEING HERE.∗ ࣪ ˖ ♡ ˖ ࣪ ∗ ¡Hope you like it!❀

"Touch has a memory. O say, love, say, What can I do to kill it and be free?”

'Like she would forget a quote from a book she references fifty times a day and has read at least two hundred million times.' Toge thought to himself.

His breath came in short gasps as he ran towards the door.

"Locked." he gritted his teeth.

'I'm sorry Y/n, but I'll have to push myself even further.'

"EXPLODE"

This time it worked, Toge had taken advantage of you getting weak as his body shook uncontrollably. He started to run, to wherever that might be. It was door, after door, after door, filled with past events of you and him, but he couldn't stop and smell the roses, he just kept forcing his legs to push harder. He was on a race to find Shoko's office, a race against time to save you from death and he just couldn't see the end of it, until he came to an abrupt halt. One of the doors led him to a corridor, and there you were once more.

Your eyes were wide and filled with tears. Toge's breathing was rapid, feeling a bead of sweat running down his forehead. The atmosphere was becoming more and more tight.

"John Keats." you told him, looking into his dark eyes. "He was a romantic, with a capital 'r'. But the last part was a mistake. I wanted to feel your touch, not tell you to kill yourself."

You made a pause, looking into his eyes. They were full of determination, ready to finish what you already knew he was there to do.

"You need to go back with the others Toge. Remember the game, remember Satoru. It isn't about Tokyo anymore, it's about saving the entire world. You need to declare yourself, make yourself useful out there before time runs out."

Toge had gotten closer to you, so close that he was barely touching the tip of your nose. He studied your face for a while, the energy was escaping you and you felt suffocated as you focused on his face. You rested your head on his shoulder, as he held your body firmly against his.

"I didn't want it to be this way." you cried on his shoulder with your eyes closed. "That day when Maki told me I- You were the only thing on my mind. I couldn't wait to reach the door to Shoko's office and be able to breath again from seeing you alive. I can still recall the burn in my calves from running so fast. I wasn't even scared of falling, I just wanted to be by your side." you let out a breathy laugh in between your sobs.

You felt Toge's hot breath against your temple as he lightly kissed you there.

"You weren't ready. I'm deeply sorry, I was a selfish brat."

'Inumaki, stop being a selfish brat.'

He laughed softly, remembering Shoko's words.

"¿What's so funny?" you leaned back looking puzzled, as a smile grew on your lips.

"I was a selfish brat too." his eyes crinckled at the corners, and the two of you couldn't help but let out a laugh with tears running down your face.

"I love you. As you are." you looked him dead in the eye this time, placing a hand on his cheek. Toge's arm was wraped around your waist as you spoke and his gaze bore into yours. You tried to sparkle for him one last time.

"You were the first thing on my mind when I woke up that day."

Your eyes met with a flare of heat this time. You blushed, and he didn't hold back, but neither did you as you threw your arms over your shoulders and pulled him closer as you felt the fire ignite. The feeling of Toge's tonge against your lips sent a chill through your body, and soon yours darted out to meet his. The tingling sense was overwhelming. The kiss was urgent and strong, but his lips felt gentle like cotton. You arched against him as if begging for more, as his body was wordlessly saying just how much he loved you. He brushed his fingers across your shoulders, letting the straps of your dress fall as he attacked your neck with open mouth kisses, moving from your throat to your collarbone, slowly running a hand over your stomach as he then kissed your breasts. You were drowning in an overwhelming feeling of pleasure. He was drunk, completely lost in the feeling of your flesh against his lips.

Your eyelids fluttered when you felt Toge's lips capture yours as his firm hand brushed your cheek. Suddenly, it all stopped. You looked at him adoringly, as your lips caressed his and you stroke a hand down his back. His face became nothing but a blur, when a splitting pain erupted through your head. It was as if the pain was crushing your insides, claiming your body for its own.

Toge knew you were reaching your limit.

'O say, love, say,'

"I love you. " he whispered against your ear.

He had never felt so certain about anything else in his entire life.

'What can I do'

Toge laid your body on the floor as you contorted from the agonizing pain that cursed through you, forcing a moan to try and gain his attention. You were paralyzed, eyes wide with fear as your energy escaped you, filling you with a powerful sense of loss.

"D-don't"

"Tell the others to eat lots of tuna mayo for me, I'm going to miss it. Also, tell Yuta to not sweat it. He did a good job in keeping your secrets. Helping you, and keeping your feelings safe. He was being a good brother to you, like always. And, let's go on a date."

He said as he stood with his back turned to you.

"When I set you free, let's go on a date. I'm sorry I only had the courage to tell you this right now."

You watched him run as fast as he could towards the door to Shoko's office, hearing the voices from the inside getting clearer as he was getting closer and closer. Your voice.

"¿Are you hiding from me? You don’t have to-”

“Y/n, maybe he needs time to-”

Shoko's voice. Toge felt a surge of adrenaline as he reached for the knob.

"Let me help you now that I’m here… Please, don’t hide from me. As long as you are still breathing… ¡Look at me Inumaki Toge! ¡Please!"

Bursting into the room just like you did once, but this time it was all for you. The scene was collapsing around him, and the image of you with your back to him was now fading with everything else, everything, but his own image that was still standing, ready to unleash his cursed words on you, but he was ready.

'What can I do to'

“¡GET OU-!"

'to kill it'

"¡GET CRUSHED!"

'and be free?'

"W-ake...up"

REPORT OF INVESTIGATION. TOKYO METROPOLITAN CURSE TECHNICAL COLLEGE. Reported by: Dr. Ieiri Shoko. Patient: Y/l/n,Y/n. Sex: F. Case number: 0

INTENT OF REPORT: Counting and description of powers and abilities. Evolution and progress since 'Incident 0'.

Subject's Inner Domain Expansion (Apeiron Blue Genus Submission). The sorceress is able to conjure her domain by simply projecting her most profound desires and so, it takes the form of an endless field of blue colored nemophilas. A nemophila is born in conjuction with millions of other flowers creating an infinite sight, each flower being a copy of the other.

Her inner domain expansion was unleashed on 'Incident 0', reinforcing her innate ability, which gave her the highly advanced ability to control her mental structure. Added to it, was the clash between the flow of her cursed energy that acted as a shield against cursed speech technique, and the weight of Inumaki Toge's (Cursed Speech Innate User) cursed energy that expanded and attacked her brain. The sorcerer used both energies as resources to replicate a neuronal pathway that would only connect by impulse between her and Inumaki Toge.

Under repeated and arduous training tests, she has been able to far surpass herself, taking control of new powers and increased abilities.

The sorceress inner domain is one of a kind, and allows her to trap the target within her own mind, creating a separate space that she can handle at her own will, as well as moving indepently. Her power has increased significantly, using copy after copy, to torture, manipulate and kill her opponents from the moment they get caught up in it.

The sorceress can subdue her victims by accessing their minds, collecting their information through replication to acquire knowledge, even inducing a trance state on them before externalizing her domain to trap them in it. This has been substantiated by her testimony about the events of 'Incident 0'.

The sorceress can create anything she wants through her innate ability as long as she remembers it well. Objects, events, locations, powers, or memories, even combining them to create something entirely new from scratch. No limits, no damage, no side effects. Unlike the events that unfolded in 'Incident 0'. Capabilities include: Replicatin everything she sets her mind to, by will and desire. That includes the environment natural features. This means she can create, shape and manipulate the worlds within herself or within the insides of another individual by controlling its mind, heart, body and soul.

The side effects of 'Incident 0' have turned the sorceress into a high-lever user of cursed technique. The externalization of her domain by turning it into a physical environment and being able to bring others within it makes her a deathly force to be reckoned with. My observations are clear, that the sorceress is on her way to becoming a Special Grade Sorceress the likes of Okkotsu Yuta. Rare and one of its kind.

FURTHER OBSERVATIONS: As for medical, the sorceress is in good condition even if carrying vast levels of cursed energy. Speed, agility, meneuverability and stamina are paired. Undergoes weekly medical examinations, as oppossed to every two days due to the damage of an unknown incident inside the domain that made the energy distribute among her cells. The hypothesis revealed that only one cell remained, keeping active by feeding off of the cursed energy still present in her body. The resource the cell used to stay alive was a renmant of the new power she had created in the first place. The studies right after the incident revealed that a cell that belonged to a unified consciousness composed of several replicas survided, taking its place in the center of what may be called a 'mental hive'. Like a queen, the old sorceress throne was taken by a replica of her consciousness and spirit, thus keeping her alive, in addition to mantaining her powers and abilities.

Without further observations, I deliver this report to the appropriate authority Special Grade Jujutsu Sorcerer, Satoru Gojo.

Dr. Ieiri Shoko. TOKYO METROPOLITAN CURSE TECHNICAL COLLEGE.

"Next time you can write me a love letter similar to this one." Gojo Said as Shoko signed the papers and then handed him the pen to do the same.

"When you are dead maybe. I'll have to make your report then."

"¡Ouch! Good thing I'm already too good to be true, it'll be easy to write. Although, I feel sorry for you because you won't find enough paper to write so much about me."

"Mhm. I see that after being trapped inside that cube you still haven't changed a thing." she answered with a blank expression as she sucked on a lollipop. Gojo let out a long sigh, followed by his signature idiot smile while he clasped both hands behind his back to stretch his arms.

"I mean ¿Those two lovebirds were out for each other or what? ¡Y/n is third to me and second to Yuta now! She really turned herself into a deathly man trap."

"Yeah, I don't think that's-"

"¿How's our little tuna fish by the way?" he asked cutting Shoko off, which caused her to give him a death glare.

"It's been a year Satoru. You do the observations for that one."

Shoko looked at him dead in the eye and she could see Gojo's addam apple bobbing up and down, still holding a sly grin, but she knew he was just trying to seem unaffected.

Twelve months had passed. You woke up November 8th on a bed next to Toge's unconsciouss body with an violent shake. Shoko found you soon after, sensing the abnormal level of cursed energy from miles away. You had fallen out of the bed in a tangle of sheet and blanket, not being able to stand up due to the weakness in your muscles.

Six hours, that was how many hours Shoko barely managed to get you to rest with an iv attached to your forearm, then you went out to find Yuta and declared your participation to become a part of the ritual. You found him at the Sendai Colony after tracking his energy for at least three days straight. That gave you roughly eight more days to come up with a solution to wake Toge up before November 19th. The expiration date for a player to wake their cursed technique.

Of course, nothing went as planned. A few died in battle, a few got to live, and just half an hour before the end of Novemeber 19th the group was able to release Gojo from the Prison Realm, putting and end to Kenjaku's grotesque game. You felt nothing but relief, as Toge wasn't the only one who got saved that night, but millions of others.

But he never woke up since November 8th.

Ever since the day you came back you only spent your days next to him, thinking of Toge's own sorrow as you were standing in his shoes now, just like he'd been, praying that you'd come back to him. You did everything from cutting his hair, to clipping his nails and giving him massages. Shoko had set up a modest ICU in his room to facilitate his care, and Gojo let you keep his comfortable leather chair. Yuta didn't have to ask where you were. He knew he would find you sitting right beside Toge reading to him, or just talking about random stuff as you'd graze your fingertips up and down his forearm with eyes full of longing. Sometimes you'd cry your eyes out, or have a breakdown due to the stress, and sometimes, Yuta would have to force you to join him for dinner. He'd trick you out of there saying that Toge always asked you if you were eating well when you were busy, which was a tad bit cruel, but Yuta knew that if you surrendered to hoplesness then you'd end up just like him when Rika died. You'd lose the connections with those around you, and then you'd lose yourself entirely.

"I know you feel like you have a purpose, taking care of Toge." he told you one night.

"I do." you averted your gaze trying to discourage him from persuading you to leave his side. You knew he was at it.

"You need a bigger one."

"¡Okkotsu!" you stood up from the chair in the blink of an eye with gritted teeth and a fiery gaze, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

He was unfazed.

"¿What is he going to think when he wakes up and sees that all of his efforts were reduced to you looking as fragile as an autumn leaf?"

'¿Isn't it funny? We are in October. Autumn leaves reach their peak during the month of October, but I managed to make all these bloom inside my mind.' you had said to Toge that time, as he stared at the nemophila sea in awe. Your grip on Yuta's shirt weakened and he grabbed your hand as he placed his other one on your shoulder.

"Look at me." he said and you obliged as the tears fell. "We fought together recently, and it was pretty clear to me that not everything was under control out there. You need to train Y/n, be stronger." you took a few steps back shaking your head in denial.

"I'm not turning into Satoru's little killing machine."

"¡No, you won't! ¡I'm just trying to help a friend out here! My sister." Yuta said, desperately looking for your gaze. "I get it, it was the heat of the moment, a race against time. We were all desperate at one point and we allowed ourselves to be reckless for the sake of humanity, but you know that is not how this usually works."

You only had eyes for Toge as Yuta kept drilling into your skull with his words.

"If you don't learn to live with the level of energy that you are carrying right now, you won't become Satoru's weapon, you'll just be your own misery machine."

He paused for a moment, studying your expression from afar.

"Y/n, you are someone that cares about people, we care about you. Everytime you leave this room for training Toge will be leaving right with you, I promise. He wants you t-"

Before he was able to finish, Yuta's breath was taken away by having your arms around you as you hugged him for a long time. Sobs escaped you and the tears gushed down your cheeks. He let you hold on to him for as long as you needed, holding you into a gentle embrace as you let it all out. He knew it was hard for you to envision yourself going out of that room, leaving behind all the love you had left in the world, your last bit of sanity, but he cared for you, and he owed it to Toge.

First it was an hour of training, then two, then four. That was your limit, and then you'd go back running to Toge's room. Next it was Shoko who had you in and out for tests, check ups and therapy, and to those you simply couldn't say no. After all, you also owed your life to her efforts. She trully cared, and you were a new piece of information, even to yourself. As for Satoru, he'd constantly ask Shoko for updates on your progress and he would supervise your training from time to time, being a pain in the ass like the certified clown that he was. Even so, you were under the impression that he was eager to see you thrive, besides, he wouldn't ask too many questions, especially when you looked too much focused on your abilities. As for Maki and the rest, everything that happened after the ritual had caused significant changes in hierarchy. They needed to put things back into order as history had been rewritten. You both knew you were only a phone call away from each other. And so, that's what life has been for you without Toge, for 365 days.

"The temple sure is beautiful when it's snowing." you said looking out the window of Shoko's office.

Two months had passed and Christmas was right around the corner.

"Sure is." she gave you a tight lip smile. "¿Want to have a seat?"

"Nah, I'm good here." you answered calmly from your seat on the windowsill. "So, ¿what's it going to be today?"

"Well, you know there's been a few instances in which I've asked you the, you know, tough questions and-"

"¿I almost demolish the entire school involuntarily?"

"I mean, yeah, kind of." Shoko said as you both giggled at the almost incident that left Satoru more wide eyed than he's ever been in his whole damn life.

"¿Today it's a tough question day is it? You want me to describe that last part, right before..."

"¿Right before the walls of my office started shaking? Hm, no. It's more like a tough suggestion this time around." she cleared her throat. "¿Why don't you try and trully reach out to him?"

"Wh- ¿What do you mean? If I'm not training or in this office, I'm always right next to him. I tend to him, I clean his room, I-"

"Y/n, I'm talking about trying to reach Toge with-"

"I won't fucking do that." your eyes landed on her like a pair of grenades. "I'm not using cursed energy on him."

"You don't have to go big this time. You can do it slowly, gradually penetrate his senses and test his reaction. You've adapted and progressed, I think it's safe to say that it could be considered as a new option now."

"He'll wake up on his own terms Shoko. I'm not going anywhere near his mind."

"¿Why don't you try reading him your romance-?"

"I'm done with Romanticism. The only thing I read to him are his comics. ¿Can I just...?" you asked pointing at the door.

"Sure." Shoko sighed, but then she raised her voice as she realized something. "¡Oh, wait! You should now, the rest will be here for Christmas. You will all be together, and they want to be close to Inumaki as well, I'm sure."

"Yeah, okay." you nodded and immediately left the office, heading to Toge's room.

Christmas Eve.

"Hey ¿Don't you need to go change?"

You turned around to see Maki's face as you tied a little tuna ornament at the foot of Toge's bed.

"Yeah, It'll be just a sec." you said looking around the room, satisfied with the outcome.

"It looks amazing Y/n, you did good. I think he'd love it just for the little tuna thing, but it's great. Cozy." she said giving you a pat on the back.

You'd gone christmas shopping with Yuta a few days before. The group had gone through a lot altogether, and it's not like gifting each other was going to make you feel any better, but it was meaningful. You were family, and besides it gave you the opportunity to occupy your mind with other things. You decided to decorate Toge's room with faux candles that gave a sense of warmth to the atmosphere, and you had hung some garlands here and there. You loved realistic decor, and you had found a snow flocked pine garland trimmed with red berries that seemed to be covered with the first snowfall of the year. You thought it was lovely.

"¡Oh shoot! It's almost seven." you said looking at your watch.

"I'll stay with Toge for a while before heading back to the dining room, you go change. ¿Need me to do something else for you here?" Maki asked as she sat on the leather couch.

"Uh, yah. Toge's gift is in that bag. ¿Can you put it on his bedside table?"

"¿What did you get him?" Maki asked as she obeyed your orders, but before putting anything next to Toge's bed, she turned around as you didn't answer right away. "Y/n... ¿Are you blushing? Look, you don't have to tell me-"

"¡It's a matching couple set! Pajamas, with little onigiri patterns on them." You replied with your eyes glued to the floor, playing with the hem of your shirt.

"I'm only saying this 'cause it's you, I don't use a word like that, but, you are cute." Maki said, finally placing the bag on the bedside table.

You looked way too flustered, and also you thought it funny that Maki couldn't really look at you in the eye when she answered you. Checking the time once again you rushed to your bedroom and walked straight to your closet. You found this dress that you had never worn before, but that night you would wear it for Toge. Somehow doing things like that made you feel closer to him, but on the other hand, it made you feel a little pathetic. It was like a fantasy you were trying to hold on to. It was hard to be the only one who'd woken up, especially after having such close contact with him. Your first kiss and his first kiss. The first connection with another body that had fallen on your lips, as well as his. Even if he wasn't there to see it, it was defintiely the dress you'd want to wear around him. You had second thoughts because of the others, but Gojo had gone all out for you guys little reunion. It would be intimate, and expensive and everyone was going to be overdressed after all, so it would be fine.

You looked in the mirror admiring the blue bodycon style dress. It fit you like a glove, although you thought the sweetheart neckline perhaps would be too much, but you shook the thought from your head real quick. You'd been wearing enough shirts and sweatpants, so this was okay. It was velvet floral with adjustable strips at the back. Once you were done with your hair, you put on a pair of heels and hurried to gather the gift bags that you had left at the foot of your desk. The only one that didn't have a bag was Megumi's gift, which you had set aside on the desk, on top of a stack of books, so you wouldn't forget it. You had bought him a novel that he could devour in his spare time. Once you took it, you were about to take a step out the door, but stopped yourself right away, turning your face to the desk once more to look at the object next to your keyboard.

It was a thick violet hardcover book, with a title plated in gold letters.

'Poetry Of The English Romantics’

The sight of it sent a jolt through your limbs and made your body tense up.

'¿Why don't you try and trully reach out to him?'

You sucked in a breath at the remembrance of Shoko's words, and then eased the air out of your lungs slowly, thinking long and hard while you chewed at your lower lip. The strength with which you clung to the handles of the gift bags turned your knuckles a ghostly white color.

"Dinner will have to wait a little longer."

The bags fell to the floor with a light thud and you grabbed the book from the desk, heading to Toge's room.

As soon as you walked in, you were enveloped by an atmosphere of silence and stillness, although you were surprised by an object that you had not seen before. A pink throw blanket drapped over your arm chair. It was for you, with a small gift card attached to it.

'¡Pink! Like my hair. Don't hate it 'cause it's pink :( Stay warm. ¡Merry Xmas! Itadori.'

"That's cute." you murmured under your breath. Touched by Yuji's sweet gesture, you grabbed the blanket with a smile and threw it over your shoulders for comfort and sat next to Toge's bed. The room was the perfect temperature, but your skin was made of goosebumps. The curtains were open enough to see the snow falling gently from the dark sky, and the ground floor covered in a thick blanket of powdery white.

Your eyes soon landed on Toge's body, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest. The air from the ventilator fed his heavy lungs and beating heart. His face was paper white, kissed by the soft tinkle of dim yellow light coming from the faux candles. Thin lips, soft and glossy, from the moisturizer you applied to them every night. He'd gotten much skinnier. His stomach was smaller and softer, but he mantained a nice firm arm.

Finding the right page, you closed your eyes and drew a breath, letting it back out with a loud sigh. The environment changed dramatically, still warm, and still the two of you together, but now within your inner domain. You didn't overdo it, you kept it intimate and peaceful. Darkness claimed the both of you, surrounded by nothing more than an inky blackness, until round specks of blue light began to spring from the nothingness, making it kindly tranquil and luminous.

Toge had tried to end himself, but he had only gone against the dark side of him. Fear, loss, insecurity, frustration, vulnerability, anger, shame. It was only a memory that was a part of him. At the time, you only needed his touch, you needed to feel that he was getting closer to where you needed him to be, but the way his heart was pouring out of his mouth made you desperate. It was you, thinking how to end the whole situation. Your soul screaming from the dephts of your own fortress. He grabbed those words in the end, thinking that the answer resided on him taking his own life for your sake. Somehow, it's as if he had lifted a weight from the both of you. That saved you in the end, and you had used every bit of what you had left in that moment to stop him, walking him up from his trance to get him out of there, barely. You knew he'd taken advantage of the fact that you were literally dying to run after the opportunity of giving you one more breath to last a lifetime.

He didn't die in the end, but he was lost, and if Shoko said this could be it, then maybe it could.

You got up from the chair and, carefully and delicately, climbed onto the bed, accommodating your body next to his. You rested your head on his chest and put a hand over his heart, while you held the book with the other, tightly against your chest. Toge's heart drummed within your ears, making your pulse vibrate. He was the root of your dreams and you still felt him long after he let you go.

Feeling a small lump sitting on your throat, you read to him in a small voice.

"What can I do to drive away Remembrance from my eyes? Touch has a memory. O say, love, say, What can I do to kill it and be free In my old liberty? How shall I do? More dismal cares Seize on me unawares, Where shall I learn to get my peace again? To banish thoughts of that most hateful land, That monstrous region, Whose rank-grown forests, frosted, black, and blind, Make lean and lank the starv’d ox while he feeds There flowers have no scent, birds no sweet song, And great unerring Nature once seems wrong. O, for some sunny spell To dissipate the shadows of this hell Say they are gone,- with the new dawning light And let me feel that warm breath here and there To spread a rapture in my very hair, O, the sweetness of the pain Give me those lips again Enough, enough, it is enough for me To dream of thee."

"Don't let go." you whispered softly in his ear.

You cried, swearing he'd grown colder since you had laid there with your body against his. The tears fell from your eyes easily as you went through the memories that were embedded in your brain after the incident, since many others had been lost, or were too blurred.

With a saddened face, you raised a hand to his neck, stroking his soft skin. You straightened up on your elbow, and gazed at him, wistfully and adoringly, gently pressing your warm, sweet lips against his cheek.

"Guess this wasn't it." you gave him one last look and got off the bed, but the weight of your heart almost brought you to your knees and the book slipped from your hands, falling at your feet.

"¡Whoa, watch out girly!"

"¿Satoru?"

He had your arms wrapped around your body, keeping you steady. You had internalized your domain without even realizing it, returning back to the cozy, Christmassy room. You clung to Gojo's arms feeling a litte dizzy and turned around to face Toge. You took a deep breath when you saw he was breathing calmly.

"¿All good?" Satoru asked you with a slight grin on his face.

"Yeah, it's all good. I was just trying to- I wanted him... to find that door. But, I- It doesn't have to be today." you finished under your breath and stormed out of the room as soon as you felt your eyes well up with tears.

The night had turned out to be very nice and quiet. The food was superb and you genuinely tried to be present. Yuta was right, these were people you cared for and they cared for you too. You were fortunate to have those moments with them, and in everyone's mind, Toge was always there with you.

Yuji was ecstatic when you thanked him for your blanket, and everyone gifted you something so as to say you should take care of yourself more. Toge had his own presents too. Moments later, everyone's attention turned to Gojo as he clinked his glass with a knife.

"¡Thank you very much ladies and gentleman for your attention! We are gathered here today, not because it's Christmas, not because Jesus was born, no. We are here because I am simply the best. ¡Gojo Christ!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

You, Maki and Yuji covered your faces, trying to hold back the laughter. Yuta looked on with his lips parted, closing them back soon after, and Megumi simply had his eyes closed waiting for the cringe to drain entirely from his body. That usually took a while.

"¡God, I can't believe we saved your ass!" said Megumi, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"¡Ah, yes! ¿How could I forget? The time I saved myself through you guys. Because of my own teachings you were able to do that. One more thing I should thank myself for. But you know, some things I simply cannot do."

They would have laughed if Gojo's expression hadn't been so hard to read at the time, but he never lacked that mischievous smile. You were already used to his phrases with double meanings, although the issue was rather to find out what other meaning they had.

"¿You didn't buy us presents?" Yuji asked worriedly, putting a hand to his chest. possibly thinking of the twenty things she had asked Gojo for Christmas that he wouldn't see under the tree.

"That I did, that I did." he nodded, taking a sip of champagne. "I put together this little affair all by myself... And only me, the best, can make it be better. So, I'll be taking that credit." all of a sudden his gaze met yours, and there it stayed. "But when it comes to bringing people back from oblivion, that I cannot take the credit for."

Maki's head turned towards you. Everyone was watching you, waiting for you to answer Gojo. Maki didn't know why, and she didn't care either, but your eyes were even redder and waterier, and it wasn't just from the wine and exhaustion.

"¡Stop with the bullshit or I'll go berserk on your ass!" Maki threw her napkin to the side and stood up from her chair making a loud noise as she leaned over the table, piercing Satoru with her gaze.

"Well, I certainly didn't expect that reaction. ¡Come on you guys! ¿Don't you wish you could share some tuna filled onigiri with your friend?"

"Satoru, stop. I'm begging you." Yuta looked at him with pleading eyes as he immediately ran over to your chair and placed both hands over your shoulders.

You were frozen in your spot, looking Gojo dead in the eye, brows raised and a bone dry mouth. You tried to reach for a glass of anything but your vision went fuzzy for a second there. Then, you felt a gentle grip on your wrist as someone put a glass of water in your hand. It was Megumi.

"Here, drink slowly." his voice was faint, you let him help you pour the liquids down your throat as Yuta grabbed a napkin to dry the corner of your mouth.

'He saw me, of course' you thought 'He saw me reciting the poem to Toge, but- ¿Why is he doing something this cruel? This was supposed to be special.'

"Stop with the sick joke." Megumi gave Gojo a death glare, but he didn't stop. "¿Remember that time Yuji died and came back?"

"¡Toge isn't dead you asshole!" Megumi blew up in his face, and Yuji stepped between him and Satoru, trying to de-escalate the situation.

"Yuta... I don't feel so well." you told him with beads of sweat running down your face. Maki, Yuta and Fushiguro still arguing in the background.

"¡I gave you a surprise didn't I!" Gojo screamed at everyone, while Yuta picked you up bridal style to take you to your room. "¿You are taking her away? ¡Great! Your surprise is on the other side of that door."

Yuta came to a halt when you pleaded Gojo in between sobs to stop talking and looked down at your face. You were a crying mess now. He didn't know it, but you had tried tonight to make some sort of connection, guide Toge back with your voice, and you couldn't. You just couldn't do it tonight, and Satoru's delusional disorder was another thing you couldn't handle. The room was in complete silence as your grief poured out your mouth and your body wracked with an onslaught of sobs and tears. "Once I put Y/N to bed and she's calmed down, I'll come back to leave you sitting on that chair for at least the next five years." Yuta spat his words at Gojo with his back still turned to him and then continued to walking towards the door.

"¡Wait, you need help to open up!" Maki said running towards the door, and once she did she stood behind to let Yuta walk out the room, but something stopped him and he could not continue. With your head buried in his chest you heard him speak to Gojo one more time. "I'm- going to kick your ass... anyway."

Opening your eyes slowly, you turned your head and your sight was met by a lined sheet of notebook paper with a question written in black ink.

'¿Is this the correct door?'

Still with Yuta's arms around your shoulders, you pushed the notebook away from your face and found Toge looking at you with a trembling lip, and a sea of tears falling down his cheeks. You weren't really sure if you were breathing or not, you couldn't say a single word. Your eyes were wide open, your mouth was hanging, and your body trembled nervously.

Not even Satoru, clapping in the background like an egomaniac, was enough to make the group snap out of that painfully hopeful vision. It was real though, and Satoru had to stop clapping when Yuji looked at him with an expression on his face that let him know they had gotten the point. Yuta realized that you were now standing completely on your own and took a few steps back leaving you alone with Toge to stand behind you, along with the rest.

Toge placed his hand on your hip to pull you closer to him, gazing at you with a yearning expression.

"¿Is this real? Please... Take away my pain before I-"

You hadn't finished talking when Toge had already taken off his oxygen mask to connect his lips with yours. Reality faded while your mouths ate each other in unison, and you became oblivious to the world around you. He broke the kiss suddenly and brought his hand up to cup your cheek. You wasted no time, nestling into his hand as you helped him put the mask back in place, feeling all his warmth radiate through the palm of his hand. He wanted to give you more and you felt it in your flesh, but you understood, as he was telling you with his eyes that he was simply too weak at the moment. And your friends were in the room.

"Good to have you back, Inumaki."

Yuta's voice was the first to rise. The two of you turned to see the smiling group that had been looking at you all this time. Yuji cried as much as when he saw the end of Titanic.

"¡Ha! ¿See? ¿What did I tell ya? ¡Merry Christmas everyone!"

Gojo came into view, holding his cell phone up in the air to catch everyone's expressions.

"¿You videotaped it? ¿What are y-?"

While Yuji tried to snatch Gojo's cell phone from his hands, Maki was trying to hold back her tears of happiness as best she could from her place next to Megumi, who was simply staring at the two of you, still puzzled, but it didn't take long for him to show a satisfied look.

2 months later

Japan came to life, like some dreamy spell.

Some say the spring season is a strong symbol of rebirth, but Toge still had a long way to go to get his voice back.

The information that remained on his side regarding the memory of the day he had erased your memory was almost extinct in his mind. It was very painful, and it was not easy at all having to review the incident that Shoko had called 'Incident 0'.

Toge had attacked the end of the path that you had created, which belonged to him, so to understand many things, many had to be explained again.

The first warm days of the spring season were refreshing. Thanks to what was left of the winter, the two of you had already shared enough cold nights without being able to separate from each other.

Not much time had passed, and the lack of strength and stamina had greatly affected Toge's spirits. That's why you waited for this time of year that refreshed both the air and people's minds. In that way, Toge could start to improve and begin the process of coming to terms with his body.

He wanted, and couldn't wait, to ask you out the day the school garden began to bloom. He still had to take care of himself, especially since his mind sometimes played tricks on him and seemed to get confused between one event and another, awakening erratic attitudes from time to time. It was not easy, but you tried to supplant the painful moments by creating new memories from the heart.

Before Toge is able to train again and can truly use his technique, it will be many more months, maybe a whole year, but he could speak a few words here and there when he was alone with you. They were nothing more than mere whispers in your ear, single words.

It didn't hurt the two of you at all.

Toge surprised you one day when she said the word "love" and pointed his finger at you, as your bodies lay entwined on his own bed. That gave him quite a bit of hope that in the future the two of you might actually be able to speak a little more fluently with each other.

He had loved being able to tell you all the things he never dared, being in your domain. The sound of his voice speaking more than only one word, even if you both were trapped in a dark cave of despair... You had given him a voice, and he did not intend to lose it for the world.

Still he had you, as he always had, and you had him too.

A few days before the beginning of spring, the humidity in the air and the scent of something new turned the two of you into one.

You claimed each other completely.

That night Toge slept snuggling his head against your breasts, and his hand rested on that place he longed for so much. No skirt, no stockings in between. Where his skin ended, yours began.

It was hard for you to believe the little argument you had had between looks and gestures, just to see who would sleep on top of whom, but you left him win. You would never say no to him, not on that night, and you wouldn't for the rest of your life.

With the first bloom, Toge wasted no time asking you to choose a day you would like to have a picnic with him, and so you did. The condition was that you would have to wear the same dress as last Christmas, because that night you had told him that you had worn that dress just for him and that you had never worn it before. You couldn't have looked more beautiful that night, just for him. You stayed true, even though he couldn't see you. It had made his skin boil, and he remembered how he couldn't take his eyes off you. But Toge had fainted shortly after Gojo's lousy surprise operation. Everyone was ecstatic at his return, but the excitement had been short-lived because he, well, he had just woken up from a coma, and no one had told Shoko that it had happened.

Gojo was to blame for that of course, but Toge he felt like he had ruined it by being careless and scaring you once again. The panic everyone felt was indescribable, thinking that his return had only been temporary. But he woke up hours later, without being able to save himself from Shoko's grumbling, who almost did not let Gojo see the end of the tunnel as far as scolding was concerned.

So that was the only condition. That you got ready for him, just as you had that night. You cooked all his favorite dishes and you both devoured them under the same tree spot that you used to practice with Yuta, which was kind of funny. Now it was his turn to eat all your delicacies.

Tilting your head up, enjoying the slight warmth of the sun's rays as you sat on the blanket, you felt Toge's hand on yours. You smiled for a long time with your eyes closed, knowing he was already looking at you when you finally met his gaze. Toge felt a slight static, perhaps from the breeze, or the natural energy emanating from one another due to the contact between the two of you.

After a while, your expressions became somewhat serious, and despite continuing to rejoice in each other's presence, there was something that separated the two of you. Toge motioned for you to get up from the spot and you nodded. You watched him very carefully while you remained somewhat restless standing on the blanket. This time, Toge instructed you to close your eyes and extend both hands to the front. 'I can not keep going like this.' you thought to yourself, dying of anxiety. Toge took a deep breath, approaching you once more, holding the book of romantic poems you had last read to him a year ago. Letting out a shaky breath, Toge rested the book in your hands, and when he looked up he saw that you were smiling quietly, still with your eyes closed, while a single tear fell down your face. "I'm pregnant." "M-mary...rry me." You two whispered to each other at the same time.

With nothing but tears in his eyes, Toge motioned for you to open the book, and you did so carefully. After turning the page with the title embodied in small cursive letters, your heart fully stopped. Toge had carved a heart into the book, creating a small space in which there was a shiny, thin white gold ring.

Toge took you by surprise when his arm came around your body and pulled you towards him, kissing the corner of your mouth with half-lidded eyes, as he looked through your eyes at the life you were carrying inside you in that very moment. You clung to Toge's shirt, as if you still couldn't believe that something like that could be real after all, turning your head to brush your lips against his cheek. You couldn't get enough of your own little moment, drowning in mutual adoration. In Toge's mind you had created something more powerful than any power or technique that could return to him, and you couldn't wait to blossom endlessly alongside him, like that blue sea of nemophilas that never stopped growing inside you.

89 notes · View notes

its-not-a-phase-mom-i-d8-demons · 3 years

Text

pairings: Lucifer x Fem!Reader, Mammon x Fem!Reader, Leviathan x Fem!Reader

warnings: tw abandonment (but it turns out okay, I promise), mentions of the act of birthing,

A/N: you came to the right place! as the second oldest of six children, I have some experience when it comes to pregnancy:) I hope you don't mind, nonny, but I'm gonna split this up into a few parts so I can do the dateables as well!

Lucifer

The moment you had shyly produced the positive pregnancy test from the pocket of your hoodie, it felt like Lucifer had entered into a fever dream filled with nursery designs, baby names, the expenses that pile up before the baby even arrives, researching human pregnancy, keeping you out of harm's way and healthy and happy...

So when you first stagger out of bed and rush to his bathroom, hand clamped over your mouth and one shaky hand on your slightly swollen tummy, Lucifer isn't surprised

He is very concerned, however. You had been so nervous to tell him of your pregnancy, you waited until the last moment before your bump was noticeable to tell him

That meant you had been suffering from all of these pregnancy side effects before he'd permanently moved you to sleep in his room

Lucifer hoists himself out of bed and pads into the bathroom, gathering up your hair, if any, into his fist and pulling your hunched form between his legs for support

You hate this feeling with a passion; throbbing stomach and a lump in your throat with little to no vertigo and tears rolling down your face as you try and catch your breath

You tell him it hurts, you ask him if he can take the pain away as your head rests on his chest, lashes fluttering with wooziness

Lightheadedness was unbearably common; you would suddenly grip his sleeve and he could watch the color drain from your face and your knees get shaky, body beginning to sway

He always catches you though, finding a place for you to sit or lie down and gather yourself

Tummy rubs become more common; the feeling of his hands against your bare tummy, spreading their warmth and nullifying the ache, allowing you to relax

He's extremely attentive as well and can tell whenever you need something

Water? Here's a cup sweetheart, remember, you're hydrating and eating for two people!

Craving something? Chocolate? Fried pickles? Chips of some kind? sweets? He's stockpiled anything you could want and locked it away just for you.

I feel like Lucifer would want your baby to be a little girl. A little princess he can carry on his shoulders and spoil with his love and gifts.

Satan ruined him for having another baby boy, but if that's how the cards fall, he certainly wouldn't mind. Unfortunately, he'd be constantly walking on eggshells, afraid he'll make your little boy into another rebellious child

That's the last thing he wants

Lucifer does his best to keep his kid away from Satan and Belphie and out of the 'Formerly Anti-Lucifer League', but sometimes you're taking a nap or out shopping with Asmodeus, and Satan and his brothers manage to coerce the little one into their shenanigans

One thing is for sure though, even if Lucifer didn't want any kids and the creation of one was unplanned, he would never ever turn you away

He's very responsible and does anything in his power to make the pregnancy as easy and happy as possible

On the day you are to give birth, he's a mess

He has already sweat through 3 shirts by the time the IV has been secured to your hand

Everything he says doesn't come without a stutter

He's squeezing your hand and kissing your hair during labor, trying to distract you from the burn between your legs as much as he can

You probably need extra stitches from baby's horns ngl

Definitely cries before the baby is even put in your arms

Refuses to let his brothers come and see you, "They can wait until we go home."

Lucifer is Smitten™

He smooches the tiredness under your eyes and tells you to get some rest

Surprisingly, he enjoys a lot of the names from the human world you discuss and will most likely pick one of those

But if it's a girl, her name is Lilith. I'm sorry MC, your input is invalid at this time

You don't regret 'final day in the devildom sex' at all when you get to witness the Avatar of Pride reduced to tears when the nurse puts the child in his arms

P-P-Pregnant? MC, ya better be jokin'...

Mammon

You weren't, judging by the pregnancy test(s) clutched in your fist

He's not mad at you, he's not upset, (in fact, he's the happiest he's ever been), he just scared

Broken Condom Victim™

He loved you just a bit too hard last week...

but let's be real here, HIS MC, carrying HIS baby?

That's like the highest level of ownership on his lovely human you could get! Levi, Asmo, Beel, Lucifer, everyone would be SOOOO JEALOUS!!!

AND

He gets to have a little one running around again!

You saw how sweet he was to babified Satan in the obey me anime premier! He LOVES little kids and nothing would make him happier than someone to play with (besides MC of course) that wouldn't make fun of him for messing up and being silly!

AND

You're so pretty!!

I mean, ya were always pretty, but somethin' about ya is different and yer even more beautiful than before somehow!

Mammon said, his entire face the shade of a pomegranate

Pregnancy glow is REAL

Asmo agrees, after stealing you away from an extremely overprotective mammon and hiding in the attic to chat without disturbance (mammon)

But as much as YOU know he would be the BEST father, comments from his brothers continue to drag him down and the evenings he cried into your shoulder became more and more frequent as your pregnancy progresses

Mammon, as we all know, is, in fact, a tiddy man

He likes to touch and squeeze them, and just gently hold them while cuddling or even browsing in a store, he'd just come up behind you and touch your boobs

(also, mammon likes all sizes, so if you have next to no tiddy like me, you'll be at his mercy as well. those with the large honkers, however, watch yourself)

Now that there's a miracle growing in your tummy, other parts of your body are preparing for its arrival, including your chest

Swelling, swelling, soreness, growing and darkening of the nipples, and swelling make it so Mammon can no longer touch your pretty tiddies :(((

(grammarly didn't like that word)

On the day mammon snack size was to be born, mammon is silent but extremely fidgety

It was early in the morning when you'd shaken him awake like, "mammoney, I'm going into labor" and he was out of bed and out the door with your luggage before you finished blinking

After grabbing your DDD's and you, he carries you down to the car (what dysfunctional family doesn't have a car? a nice one (Mercedes, Audi, you get the idea) for lucifer and a Volkswagon bus or something for his siblings to share) and drives quickly, but very carefully drives to the hospital, holding your hand the whole way.

He covers your eyes when they put the IV in, just in case you're squeamish, and rubs your arms as the drugs begin to take effect and there's a little fear in your eyes at the thought of pushing an entire human/demon being out of your coochie

He assures you and never lets go of your hand no matter how long you're in labor

When it's all over with and you are resting in your hospital bed waiting for the doctors to finish the Apgar tests and give you your baby

Mammon is speechless as the nurse places the baby in your arms

That's HIS KID!!

Immediately starts crying

The little horns poking out of the blanket? Those look just like his!!

Judging by the bit of hair on it's head, it looks like the baby will have hair like yours

If it's a baby boy, he thinks it should be named "Mammon II" but you just giggle and remind him of the deal he made with lucifer long ago, that his first born child, no matter the gender, had to have 'Lucifer' somewhere in their name

Human names are dumb, except for yours of course, so he searches for suitable demon names

The last thing he wants is a kid named Lucifer, so that will be the kid's middle name

He really regrets his past decisions now

Leviathan

"Levi?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I'm pregnant."

*leviathan has been KO'd*

No joke, this man is literally floored and didn't wake up for a while and you were afraid you had just slain the fucking Lord of Shadows

Some Henry you were

You had to call Lucifer in to wake him up because he was still flat on the floor a half and hour later

Mammon is more that happy to tip a bucket of ice water on the face of the son of a bitch that impregnated HIS MC

Levi wakes up and pounces on you, gripping you tightly by the arms

"You're k-kidding r-right?"

Him? A father?

Uhhhhhhh

Unfortunately, Leviathan.exe has stopped working, try again in two thousand years

I hate to say this, but he definitely detaches himself for a while until his brothers, especially Asmodeus, literally beat him into shape

He comes back to you, a little bruised and sobbing, but not from the beating he just received

He's so sorry he neglected you! He's such a horrible demon, undeserving of your welcoming nature

He's gonna be the worst dad, and he's not good enough for you, and his kid will hate him just like everyone else does, he doesn't deserve you, he's so sorry for making you suffer the side effects and feel all alone,

Sir, I-

FALSE

It's your turn to shake some sense into him, reminding him that he would be the. best. dad!!

Not to mention the fact that you were just happy he realized his mistakes and came back to you

He begs you to sleep in his bed tub with him for security, and you have to admit his tail is very comforting

Levi does extensive research on human pregnancy and now at the dinner table, instead of talking about the latest slice of life anime he'd been watching, he's just spouting random pregnancy facts and you're laughing so hard it brings you to tears

When the weird dreams and vivid nightmares happen, Levi is right behind you, rubbing your swollen tummy, and letting you talk about them

A lot of them were about him and about your future child

Most of them were about how they got hurt in some way, either that or YOU got hurt and the baby died

These, more often than not, brought you to tears and stress you out, but Levi is right there, okay? Nothing can hurt you, nor would he let anything happen to you on his watch

Learns how to massage you (safely) to reduce stress

Definitely talks to the baby a lot

Levi begged you to be induced so the birth was safe and not a sudden occasion and you agree

On the day the doctor recommended, you arrived at the hospital and got down to business

Levi didn't really want to be in the room with you, but he knew he had to for your sake and he'd played a few birth simulators from both perspectives and you really needed him

Kinda sits there awkwardly comforting you and encouraging you, holding your hand and caressing your cheeks, a bit flushed from exertion and tears

Listen

If the baby is a boy, his name will be Henry and that's final

If it's a girl, he doesn't really care, as long as you don't name her 'mammonia' or something dumb like that

definitely crashes your hospital bed to snuggle until the baby is ready

cries when the baby wraps its extremely small digits around one of his own

also at the little horns protruding from its head

and the tuft of purple in its head

Also Smitten™

He's so excited to get home and show off his beautiful baby to his brothers and then formulate a plan to raise the kid to live and breathe TSL just like his daddy <3

July 9th: VIP MEMBERS, GET YALLS JUICE!!

Countdown Masterlist

Main Masterlist

698 notes · View notes

technowoah · 3 years

Text

The Happy Man

Who can make the sad days into happy days? Ranboo- I mean.. "The Happy Man" can!

Ranboo takes it unto himself to make your day brighter

- RANBOO X GEN! NEUTRAL READER PLATONIC!

- "ANON" REQUESTED! 🤭

Prompts!

3) "hold me" "what?" "You heard me."

11) "Forget about them. They aren't worth your time, but you know who is? Me."

⚠︎ slight swearing, angst to fluff, and Ranboo being a great friend. It's not proofread either

Hope you enjoy! Love! X

Masterlist

"My car is nearby! I didnt park far away this time."

You and Ranboo decided to hang out for the day. This entailed going to a fast food place to sit down and eat and then supermarket for no reason, just to mess around. Ranboo mom ended up calling him and told him to get groceries for the house. You two ended up exiting the supermarket with bags fill of groceries.

Ranboo decided to hang out instead of stream today which was weird. He had absolutely nothing to do today and he chose to hang out. I mean he had to have a life outside of Twitch, and you weren't complaining you wanted to spend time with your best friend.

"Yeah, thanks for that I didn't want to walk to the last parking spot in the whole area." You joked around with him lifting up the grocery bags for emphasis.

You both finallt made it to his car and put all the bags in tbe trunk of his car. You sighed as he unlocked hie car and you both got inside of it. Your head lulled back onto the headrest as you stared up at the car's roof staying silent.

"Whats wrong?" Ranboo turned to you as he turned on the radio. He tried leaning over to get a good look of your face, but you turned away from him.

"Nothing! It's all good!" You lied as you waved him off.

"Mhm. Fine, but just so you know I dont believe you." Ranboo said smartly while putting the car in reverse to back out of the parking space.

You looked out of the window as Ranboo continued to drive. Today wasn't your day. Neither was yesterday, it's all been shit for you. You couldn't explain it, your heart felt heavy all of the time and you couldn't stop worrying about the future. You knew you had big things coming up this week and even though that day wasnt here, you couldn't stop worrying about it.

You also felt guilty for your emotions being heightened all of a sudden you felt overly sensitive to everything eventhough people tell you that you arent being sensitive. Something always nagged you in the back of your mind told you that "they were lying to appease you and not make you feel worse."

You kind of felt lost. In a personal limbo of your own. Not quite finding where you are supposed to be right now and those thoughts left you up at night wondering what you're supposed to be doing to help this Earth.

Telling yourself you were overreacting you pushed those feelings away and just summed your feelings up as "I'm feeling like shit."

"Hey y/n!" Ranboo exclaimed.

"Yeah?!" His yelling startled you out of your thoughts and turned your head to face Ranboo who was sat at a red light.

"You're crying." Ranboo stated.

You were, your eyes were tearing up, but at the confrontation you felt a tear run down your cheek.

"Yeah I am." You tried to laugh, blinking more rapidly you tried to stop your tears but they kept coming.

Ranboo focused his attention on the road as the light turned green.

"Whats wrong y/n tell me." Ranboo said somberly.

"It's no big deal I just feel like shit." You shrugged while sniffing.

Your tears finally stopped. Ranboo gave you one last look before turning onto his street heading towards his house. He pulled into the driveway and parked the car.

"My parents aren't home yet so we could do whatever." Ranboo shrugged whole getting out of the car and you followed him. You both grabbed the bags out of the trunk and headed towards the door.

"We can play hide and seek like old times! Or we can just sit and play a Mario game. Who knows what this night entails for us!" Ranboo exclaimed.

"Why are you so cheerful all of a sudden?" You asked amused.

"Y/n, Ive always been like this." He replied.

"You've been neutral all day." You smiled slightly.

"Normal is overrated, lets go." Ranboo unlocked the house door as you two rushed into the kitchen to put down the bags of food.

You opened the fridge to start putting the cold items into the fridge before Ranboo tried to close the fridge door. You were pulling the door while he was trying to push the door shut.

"What are you doing?" You said getting slightly annoyed eventhough his actions meant no harm by it.

He successfully closed the fridge door and stood infront of you. He looked down on you as he bagan to speak. "Its fine! I'll put the groceries up while you pick a game in the living room." Ranboo started pushing you towards the living room ignoring your protests against it.

"Cant I just help?" You sighed turning back to him.

"Go sit! Its fine! Relax!" Ranboo waved you off while putting up the groceries.

You plopped yourself down on the loveseat infront of the TV and decided not to play a game, but go onto Netflix and put one of John Mulaney's The Comeback Kid comedy special on. These specials always seemed to help when you are in a bit of a "funk" even though you know all of the jokes in each special, but they always delighted you for the time being.

The special started to play as you curled up on the loveseat sofa and laid your head on the armrest looking at the TV.

"Good choice of content!" You heard Ranboo yell as he entered the living room and sat on the couch not that far away from you. He laid out on the couch and silently watched the special with you laughing at some of the jokes considering you both have watched The Comeback Kid multiple times.

Halfway through the show Ranboo's parents weren't home and you could feel yourself growing tired. Maybe it was all the stress around you right now.

"You wanna talk about it now?" Ranboo asked cautiously.

You paused before sighing and telling Ranboo everything. "I just feel overwhelmed. I mean, I'm emotional, too emotional and I hate it. A big thing is coming up soon and I am worried sick about it. I cant stop thinking about it. I dont even know what I'm supposed to be doing here, on this Earth. Worrying about the future isnt the reason I'm here. My mind is just a mess and-"

"And its okay! Your feelings are valid and right now I cant change how you feel, but I can try. The only thing I can do is try and make you happy, but that doesn't make the issues go away. I mean putting on John Mulaney is a start. I just want to be helpful to my friend." Ranboo interrupted you as you started tearing up at your friend's confession.

"Thank you Ranboo." You smiled.

"Of course! That's what friends do. I wish I coukd enter your mind like a little bug and change everything in there." Ranboo laughed.

"You didn't have to phrase it like that! I understand though, but I wouldn't change my mind. What if I forget you."

"You wouldn't! Ill make sure to keep myself in your mind for good." Ranboo said before sitting up on the couch with his arms out.

"C'mon!" Ranboo continues to hold his arms open towards you. You continued to give him a confused look until he spoke again.

"Hold me."

"What?"

"You heard me." Ranboo said bluntly.

You walked over to the could Ranboo was sitting on and wrapped your arms around him and he did the same. You two stayed like that for a while before it got a little awkward so Ranboo laid back and brought you down with him so your head was lying in his armpit area.

Ranboo was right, he couldn't make the issues go away, but he could at least distract you for a while and thats why you let it happen. Its easier to let a distraction come instead of staying inside of your mind, which was a horrible and beautiful place to be in. You were super grateful to have Ranboo as a friend, and you hoped he knew you would do the same for him.

"Remember when we dressed up like Team Rocket that Halloween?" Ranboo asked with a smile on his face.

"Oh! That was so bad." You smiled while the TV still played.

"No it wasn't! We looker great!"

"Except for those wigs! We got them from a horrible costume shop."

"Ew yeah everything except the wigs." Ranboo said disturbed of the memory.

The room fell silent except for the sounds of John Mulaney in the background. It was a comforting silence. You felt yourself drifting off into sleep as Ranboo changed to another special on Netflix.

"Ranboo, you wanna play Mario Kart later?" You asked.

"Later why not now?! My mom's probably gonna want to hog the TV when she gets home."

"No she wouldn't. We'll be fine I just wanna sleep." You responded with your eyes closed. "Sleep the sadness away." You tried joking, but to Ranboo it came out worse than intended.

"Well if you dont mind me asking. What's on your mind right now?" Ranboo cautiously asked again.

"The people in my life and how they think of me. How they perceive me, and if I need to be better." You said sighing trying to keep the tears from flowing onto Ranboo's shirt.

Ranboo started. "Forget about them. They aren't worth your time, but you know who is? Me."

"So true Ranboo."

"Hey that rhymed! But just focus on me cause Im the Happy Man!" Ranboo exclaimed.

"The wha-"

Ranboo cut you off. "The Happy Man! I can turn sad days into happy bright days in an instant. I get a lot of recognition, Im surprised you haven't heard of me."

"I mean Ranboo you help me be happier." You chuckled while speaking.

"No, no, no, I dont know who Ranboo is I'm the Happy Man."

"Ranboo I just called you "Ranboo" a few minutes ago." You deadpaned.

"Still dont know who you're talking about." Ranboo still acted oblivious.

"Alright then. Thanks the Happy Man." You smiled as you closed your eyes again.

"Of course y/n." Ranboo squeezed your shoulder in a comforting way.

"My check will be in the mail for my services."

"Let me sleep Happy Man."

Taglist: @annshit

465 notes · View notes

dreamypqulson · 3 years

Text

— wildest dreams

summary: before lana leaves briarcliff, she promises she'll be back for you. after three whole months, she finally makes them release you and now she's there to help with your recovery.

pairing: lana winters x reader

word count: 4500

warning: vomiting, mention of drugs/medicine, mention of abuse, eating disorder. let me know if there's more that i should add.

"Open your eyes, y/n" you woke up to whispering. Quiet pleads and begs for you to just wake up. "Lana?" The room wasn't very bright -matter of fact it was dark with only a dim lamp lighting it- but you still squinted your eyes. Your voice sounded like a truck ran it over a rocky road and it hurt like that too but you pulled through for Lana. By now, she asked countless of times for you to just open your eyes and you wouldn't make her waste her breath any longer.

"Y/n!" she kept her voice low and you wondered how she was beside you without getting caught. That's when you realized, you were still in what they called the infirmary beds but they were really no better than what you had in your so called room.

"Listen to me closely" any noise made your head hurt. Your ears even stopped working every now and then. But now her hand was on your cheek and you realized that you had no choice but to listen.

"I'm leaving."

"You're what?" Your voice was louder than intended. You instantly regretted it when your throat started to burn. You were happy for her, but could you really live without her? If this was even living at all. And was she truly leaving to go somewhere safe opposed to last time she was leaving.

"Relax. Sister Jude. She- she admitted to falsely putting me here. One of the nuns is letting me out" She spoke softly.

You now had tears in your eyes, you both did. "Lana i'm happy for you" your lip trembled. Though you were happy, you were still about to be separated from her. She would probably move on with her life and want to forget about Briarcliff as a whole. That meant forget about you too.

"Don't you cry now" she giggled and wiped away your tears. "I'll come back for you, I promise."

You felt her slowly take the iv out of your arm. You both knew that what they had on to ‘make you feel better’ was really something that probably shouldn't be going into you. But you didn't care anymore. You knew your end was near living in this place and especially without Lana being here to help you through this life.

"Lana" you said. Your voice was unsteady, sounding like you were walking on a tightrope thirty feet up.

She turned her attention back to you. "I love you" you said and started crying again. That could be the last time you say those words to her. "I love you too, angel. But this isn't the end, okay? I would never leave you here" Lana leaned in, capturing your lips in her own. She knew how you felt as if you were glass and she could see in all your feelings.

"Lana, I think i'm going to die. They're going to kill me" a singular tear ran down your face. You were afraid. Because after all, you’ve never been without Lana at this place.

"I need you to hold on just a little longer for me. I believe you can do it." She took your hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. You didn't respond because there wasn't anything else to say. But you would try your hardest to hold on. Try just so you could see Lana's face again. So you could feel her lips again.

"I have to go now. I'll be back, angel." She walked away and you suddenly felt so cold. As if her presence was the only thing protecting you and keeping you up right.

You watched as she walked and each step made your heart break. But you trusted her, at least you think you do.

"Wait" with a strained voice you shouted. Lana turned around and stared back at you blankly. As if she were looking for an answer or if she just hadn't heard you at all. She was worried that you stood up, you still weren't entirely okay after your treatment.

She looked down and noticed your hand gripped on her wrist. But it wasn't tight and it didn't hurt because with Lana, the power to be harsh was impossible, at least for you. You treated her like you were dealing with a ceramic angel; delicate, gentle, and always careful to never break it.

"Don't forget about me" and Lana couldn't, she could never. Even through all the therapy's that would mess with her mind and play with her thoughts, your face always popped up. Your name was always displayed in big bold text in front of her. Now with a capable, strong mind, there was no way she could forget you.

Your legs were weak, they felt like jelly. But someone up above was forcing your legs up. She grabbed your shaky hands. Hers were warm just like they always were. But you wondered if they were warm like that for anyone else.

"I'll be back for you, don't you worry." Lana leaned forward and kissed your forehead. Her lips lingered on your skin for just a mere second longer and then that was the end of it. But you didn't need any more reassurance. Just with that, you believed her. So you would wait and wait for her return. Even if it took till the end of your days.

Three Months Later:

You sat in your room with your knees to your chest. It's been three months. Believe it or not, you've somehow managed to count the days. The only thing this place couldn't take away from you was the thought that Lana would be back for you any one of these days.

A huge part of you worried that she possibly didn't make it out; that they...killed her, tricked her. But you couldn't lose hope. Hope was all you had.

The asylum had somehow gotten even worse since Lana had left. You were really the only sane one left. Kit was gone too, so you felt entirely alone.

You then heard your obnoxiously loud door open. Not another treatment, what could I have possibly done wrong this time, you thought.

"You're being released, y/n" it was one of the male nurses. You instantly stood up. "What?" he then threw a package on your 'bed.' "Those are your clothes, they should still fit you. Just leave what you're wearing on the bed."

"No. You're lying. Where's the release papers then?" For some reason it was too hard to believe. But nobody could blame you for having trust issues after everything that has happened. "Lana signed them already. She's waiting in the monsignors office for you." With that, he let himself out, leaving the door open so you had access to leave.

You stood there for a moment, frozen. You were not only leaving but seeing Lana again as well.

____

You took a deep breath before walking into his office. You didn't know why you felt sort of nervous, why there was this knot in your stomach.

When you walked in you saw the monsignor sat at his desk -who you hated so dearly- and two police officers beside your one and only Lana.

If you didn't know her as well as you do then just by a single glance, you probably wouldn't even have recognized her.

She was wearing a brown leather coat. Her hair was up in a ponytail and it looked significantly longer than the last time you’ve seen her. She looked nothing like you'd expect but you liked it. She looked healthy and there was a spark that was relit in her eyes.

She gave you a warm smile. One that she tried to hid from everyone else's in the room. Because it was just for you.

"Lana" you croaked out. Tears were brewing in your eyes and as you stepped closer to the brunette, you noticed a tear already falling down her face.

Without another thought, you threw yourself into her arms. You didn't care who witnessed because you finally had your Lana back. "I told you I would be back for you" she whispered so quietly that you were sure you were the only one to hear it.

"You did" you said, chuckling lightly. Even when you some days had doubts that she really did forget you or that she moved on with her life and wasn't coming back, deep down you knew those thoughts were incorrect. And that's because there's this invisible string connecting you both and that string can never be broken.

"I'm going to take you back to my house, okay?" you nodded. All you wanted was to just be free with Lana. You couldn't wait that your were practically vibrating from excitement.

As you both walked out, you wanted to grab each other's hands. But neither of you did because this definitely wasn't the place to do so.

You took a deep breath when you made it outside. Everything was so bright, you weren't even used to it after a year of complete darkness.

The brunette looked over at you to make sure you were okay. She didn't know how you would react. But when she saw that smile little smile on your face, her heart warmed. "First breath of air" you said and she giggled at you.

You got in the passenger seat of Lana's car. It all just felt so weird. Being with Lana outside of Briarcliff felt like a dream that you didn't want to wake up from.

As she began driving, you started to feel carsick so you shut your eyes in hopes that it would help.

"Are you alright, baby?" Lana asked and placed a gentle hand on your thigh. "Y-yeah it's just that I haven't been in a car in awhile and with all the drugs and everything, it's making me feel a little nauseous."

"Oh i'm sorry sweetheart, we'll be there soon. Just keep your eyes closed."

____

You opened your eyes expecting to be in those four walls of darkness with nuns, nurses, and guards standing about you with whatever treatment they were trying on you today.

But you didn't see any of that. Instead, you saw rather an angel. The lighter side of it all.

"You fell asleep" she giggled softly and you felt your heart burst at the sound of her laughter. "Lana" you said and she hummed approvingly "how far away are we? From you know...Briarcliff" you looked down at your fingers. For some reason, you felt silly asking. But Lana understood your fear of living close to an actual hell.

"About an hour." You let out a relived breath. It was far enough.

"But don't you worry, nobody will hurt you again. I won't let that happen." Lana was always there with you, protecting you, even when it got hard for her to protect herself.

"Thank you so much, Lana" you sniffled and took her hands in yours. "I love you so much. If it wasn't for you..." you tried to speak but a lump quickly grew in your throat, making it hard to.

"Hey" she hooked her finger under your chin and gently lifted your head up "I know, sweetheart. Don't mention it. You've saved me in so many ways too, y/n." You nodded at her and were going to wipe your tears but Lana already did for you.

"How about we get in the house? You must want to shower and have something to eat." You nodded with a slight smile and then slowly stepped out of the car. That's when your eyes finally adjusted to her house. It was quite big which you didn't expect since she'd only been out of the asylum for three months. But you didn't question it.

"Your house is beautiful, Lana" she looked up at her house and then back towards you with a smile. "Thank you, darling."

You followed behind her as she walked towards her door. You still felt a little nauseous. It was only a few hours ago that you were doped up on whatever they gave you.

"L-lana" you held your stomach, not even focusing on your first look at the interior of her house. "Mhm?" she hummed as she hung up her keys, not fully paying attention.

"Where's your bathroom?" you instantly covered your mouth after you gagged. She looked over at you quickly, her face instantly turning to a worried expression. "Oh baby, come with me" she speed walked all the way down the hall and opened the door to her right.

You followed behind her and right as you kneeled on the floor in front of the toilet, you threw up all your guts. You felt Lana pull your hair back and run a soothing hand up and down your back.

All you could think about was if Lana went through this when she got released from Briarcliff and the fact that you weren’t there to help her made you extremely upset.

"It's okay" she cooed, her voice no louder than a whisper because she figured that being any louder would do you no good. You felt a few tears roll down you face. Honestly, you didn't even know why you were crying. You were finally out of your worst nightmare, there was no reason for tears.

Once you had finish getting sick, you flushed the toilet and Lana got you a lukewarm washcloth to wipe your face with.

"I'm sorry" you went to look over at the brunette but guilt washed over you so you looked down. You didn't want her to have to take care of you like this. You loved it and you loved having her, but you felt awful and like a burden.

"Hey, don't apologize, y/n. It’s not your fault. None of this is" you knew she was right but you couldn't get past the thought that you were just a big problem for her and a walking memory of an awful past. "And please stop looking away from me. I want to see your pretty face."

A pink hue appeared on your cheeks from her compliment. That gave you enough confidence to look back up at her. She smirked when she saw that she got a little smile out of you. "I feel bad. I don't want to be a bother."

"Don't ever feel bad or like a bother, y/n. You got me through life in Briarcliff. You made me laugh even when I thought it wasn't possible. Most importantly you showed me love when I needed it the most and even when I didn't need it. Now i'm going to repay you and i'm going to love you even in our next life."

"Lana...don't make me cry again" you both chuckled. "I love you a whole bunch" you said and leaned in to place a kiss on her lips. "Now how about you get in the shower? I have a fresh set of clothes for you" you nodded and stood up although your legs were still a little wobbly so she grabbed your arm until you were fully steady.

"Just call me if you need anything."

"Okay, thank you again, love." With that, she gave you one last smile and began walking out. You stood there for a moment, feeling a bit sad that she was leaving. Even if she was only going to be in the room beside you, it made you feel like you were back in the asylum where you were separated from her and couldn't do anything about it.

"Um Lana" she turned back to you in the doorway and nodded for you to continue. "This might be a stretch- and you don't have to say yes but can you...can you shower with me? I don't really want to be alone right now." You bit down on your lip and almost drew blood, worried that you were taking it too far.

"Of course, baby."

She walked over to you and placed a loving kiss on your cheek before placing her hands at the hem of your shirt. "Can I?" she asked and you nodded. With that, she discarded your shirt followed by the rest of your clothes and left kisses all over your warm body to make you feel safe and loved.

She then took off her own clothes and you could feel a pair of eyes glued on you but you were too shy to even look up. "You can look, honey" she said with a giggle to her voice. You didn't know why you were acting so shy now that you were out of Briarcliff.

But when you did look up, your heart skipped a beat. She was absolutely stunning. She then took a step closer to you. "You're so beautiful" Lana said and grabbed both of your hands. "I could say the same for you."

When the warm water started to pour down your body, you let out a soft sigh. It's been forever since you've actually had a proper shower. You felt relieved and just for that moment, all your troubles went away.

You leaned your head back when Lana began to run her fingers through your hair with shampoo, lightly scratching your scalp. That's the thing; she was always so delicate and gently with you. And you loved that about her.

It felt amazing to finally get clean. You were a clean person in general so to have to live dirty for an entire year was not ideal. But of course, that wasn't your biggest problem when you were there.

She placed a lingering kiss on your back before you spun around to face her and let the water wash out all the soap.

"Feels nice?" She asked with a teasing tone when she saw your face that looked so at peace. "Yes" you chuckled "haven't had a nice real shower in forever."

____

Once you were all clean and finally had a fresh pair of clothes on, you followed the brunette into the kitchen. They were fancy pajamas, silk and felt expensive. But even if they weren't, it wouldn't matter because it was better than wearing the same outfit everyday that only reminded you that you were less than any other human being.

"I'm not the greatest chef but I can manage to whip something up." You shook your head at the woman. "I doubt that. You're great at everything."

"I burnt soup before, sweetheart." You placed your hand over your mouth to try and contain your laughter. But it didn't work. "Lana! How do you burn soup?" You teased.

"Hey leave me alone!" it was clear you were both joking, she was trying to hold back her smile behind an offended facade but her own laugher ruined that.

"I'm teasing you, silly. I would still eat the burnt soup just to make you happy" you gushed. With that, the brunette blushed. "But i'm just not very hungry."

"You have to eat something. I can make you some toast" she argued.

"I really don’t have an appetite." You we're lucky if they fed you. Even luckier if it was edible. Now you were used to that and felt that you couldn't even hold down any food. "Just a few bites of fruit. For me."

You gave her a hesitant look. You just threw up anything that was possibly in you. You didn't want to do that again. Though, you still needed nourishment so at least trying was the best you could do for not only yourself but for Lana.

"I know, baby" she grabbed your hands and held them over the counter. "I went through this too." For just a mere second, she paused to think of her next words. If you were to blink then you would have missed it. "We'll go little by little each day."

"Okay" you said quietly. You wanted to cooperate and not be difficult but you still hoped that she didn't hear your agreement. But she did.

She walked over to her fridge. It was one that only had a single door and was white to match the rest of her house. It fit perfectly between the counter. Almost built in.

She pulled out a container of mixed fruit. It was almost like she planned for this.

Seconds go by and it was in a ceramic bowl in front of you. You picked up the fork that she placed beside you as well. You just played around with it. You really haven’t had an appetite after seeing so many awful things. So much blood. So much abuse. So much hurt.

She took a seat next to you. You could feel her eyes on you and you knew that at least taking a single bite would get her to stop staring. You never minded whenever she would look at you. In fact, you longed for it when you first met. But right now her eyes felt so pity and concerned, it made everything harder.

You pushed around a piece of watermelon with your fork. You just didn't feel like putting that piece in your mouth.

Although you still lifted the piece up to your mouth with the fork. It felt so heavy in your hands, you felt so weak. You finally put it in your mouth and you didn't mind the taste, actually. It was that your stomach was going to mind it.

You watch through the corner of your eye, Lana smile delicately at you. You were proud that you made her happy. After all, she had done absolutely the same through the time being.

Her eyes slowly eased away from you. You felt that it was finally a comfortable position to talk. "Did you ever forget about me?" You didn't mean to be so abrupt but you were curious, it slipped out.

She looked back over to you. You didn't look back. You were worried that you upset her. "I'm sorry, i didn't mean to-"

"No" you felt her warm hand on your knee. "Don't be sorry" she said. "I never forgot about you." You finally looked into her piercing brown eyes. "Remember when I said you were my angel, the first time we met? I meant it."

Your memory's traveled back to a little over a year ago. Though you remember it like it was yesterday. You were shoved into the common room. Afraid of everyone. You didn't belong there. You weren't 'insane' or a 'sinner' while everyone else looked as if they've definitely killed someone in their life. Or maybe they haven't. Maybe they were perfectly normal like you and have just been thrown away into this asylum like they were an old rag doll that a child didn't want anymore.

That's why you spotted Lana out of the whole bunch. Well, the back of her head at least.

Her hair was disheveled but was still curling in by her shoulders so you figured she was fairly new as well. Yet you weren't brave enough to go up and talk to her. For all you knew, she could have been insane and just wore a cover to make her look sweet and have you fall for her trap.

She turned around with a cigarette between her two fingers. From what you saw, she had these reddish, yellowish marks on her temples. It looked painful. You were curious to find out what happened.

She was sitting on the couch. All the other seats were taken except the cushion beside her. So, you pushed yourself to sit there.

It was tense at first. You just played around with the hem of the awful dress they had you wear while Lana would take intakes of her cigarette every so often.

"Are you new?" She finally broke the silence. You looked up at her and saw her brown eyes up close for the first time. They felt welcoming.

"Yes" you mumbled. A shy girl you were. Still am. "I got here today" you said and your nerves were practically radiating off of you.

"I'm Lana" She seemed sweet but it was simple for you to see through people. You weren't much of a talker, rather spending your days observing other people. So you learned to figure out whenever someone was hiding their true feelings. And you could see fear and sadness behind her eyes.

"I'm y/n" you said. She smiled for the first time. A big smile too. One that showed her teeth. "Y/n" she tested. You liked the way your name rolled off her lips. You were never conscious of the way people said your name. It wasn't important. But when the brunette said it, it rang in your ears like your favorite song.

"That's a very pretty name, y/n" a pink hue rose on your cheeks. But the more you talked to her, the more comfortable you grew. God, it must've been a few hours that you were both talking. You were so caught up that you even forgot about everything for a little while. Lana could say the same.

You learned why she was in here and it turns out you were both here for the same 'diagnosis.'

Although, you began to get nervous when it was time to get back to your rooms for the night. You didn't want to part with what was your only source of comfort.

"Hey" she said, moments before you were all being throw out of the common room. You looked over at her. She wore a small, warm smile. "You know, y/n, you're an angel” she paused “my angel” and then she walked out.

"Well Lana, I think the tables have turned. If it weren't for you, I would still be at the asylum. You're my angel" you leaned over and kissed her right temple. You kissed whenever her scars were -even if they were gone by now- and replaced them with love. "We're each other's angel's, goof."

A few minutes went by and you managed to shove down a few more pieces of fruit with the help of Lana's encouragement.

The sun had already set and you could feel yourself growing tired. And that was clear to her by the way that you spaced out when she was talking to you. So she guided you to her room. It was the first time you had saw it.

She slid under the covers of her bed and outstretched her arms towards you. You placed your self beside her and she instantly wrapped her arms around you, tightly but yet again, so gently.

"Goodnight. I love you, sweetheart" she whispered, already sleepy. "Goodnight, baby. I love you too" she leaned down, placing a lingering kiss on your forehead and before you knew it, you both fell asleep in each other's arms. Loved and coddled by your lover, you were sure that nothing or nobody could ever hurt you again.

Taglist: @loverofallthingssarah @goodeday2u @lanawinters-ily @futuremilfcheck @talulahmae @sapphicforsarahh @ahsfan05 @tatelangdonprincess

message me or send an ask to be added to my taglist!

#sarah paulson #american horror story #lana winters #lana winters x reader #sarah paulson x reader #wlw #ahs #ahs asylum #ahs fanfiction #cordelia goode #ally mayfair richards #wilhemina venable #ratched #oceans 8 #mildred ratched #sally mckenna #billie dean howard #audrey tindall

141 notes · View notes