#just say you hate queer joy and leave

[the-geeky-fangirl]

yes i know heartstopper is "cringe" and yes I know you think it's not that deep but you've endured years of cringe oversexualized shows about high schoolers where the gays are delegated to sub plots I'm sure a few hours of queer people being safe and happy and loved won't kill you so please shut the fuck up

[messrmoonyy]

-Sadie Adler as your gf hcs ( sfw/nsfw )

Sadie Adler x Fem!reader

A/N- I am in fact posting these out of pure and utter spite because Sadie Adler can. And will. Kiss girls. Because this is what?! Fan fiction!And it brings me an insane amount of joy that the sheer idea alone of Sadie being queer angers people. Sadie Adler kisses girls pass it on!!!

These are mostlyyy epilogue and beyond based Sadie pls lemme be your lil housewife

Dedicated to @queer-sadie-adler for being the true voice of reason lately amidst the hell hole that has been the queer Sadie discussions. You’re awesome.

Masterlist - requests are open!

• she’s incredibly protective of you. One wrong look your way and she’s ready to start shooting or swinging. Shes so a ‘ why don’t ya take a picture, it’ll last longer ‘ baby has some slight anger issues

• falls very much into the ‘ I hate everyone except you ‘ category. So stoney faced and ready to brawl with everyone, but soft gazes and tender touches with you.

• you hear her before you see her. She’ll ride back home to you after going after a bounty and proudly announce her return with a ‘ honey I’m home! ‘ as she rides up to your home.

• secretly adores the way you fuss over her before she goes out. She lost everything other than you in the space of like. A year. so it’s nice to be reminded how much you care about her. And that she has someone in the world to care about herself.

• she’s actually a pretty decent cook. And you can often expect her to try cook you something nice. Especially if she’s gotten onto your bad side some how, she knows a nice romantic meal will butter you up nice and quick

• I have this thought that she is just a nightmare to share a bed with. Girly tosses and turns and takes up too much damn space. But it just gives you the excuse to crawl up close to her and get comfy in the little space she leaves, falling asleep practically on top of her.

• and on the subject of sleeping. Has just the finest motherfuckin morning voice you’ve ever heard. Her raspy ‘ Mornin my darlin’ in your ear everyday makes you wanna melt into a puddle every damn time.

• loves sharing a bath with you. Especially if she’s been gone for a few days. She’ll make some excuse that it’s just to save on water. But in reality she just wants to relax and hold you close to her, feel your skin on hers to remind her she’s not just some angry bounty hunter. All tough and rough and fighting. She needs the gentle and the calm you provide her.

• hand holding. Forehead kisses. Sitting in her lap as you read on the porch. Just small, gentle acts of intimacy. The kind not discussed but well practiced between lovers.

• she can get in her head a little sometimes. She knows it’s not easy being in a relationship like that in 1907. And she knows that she doesn’t make it much easier on you with the works she does either.

• but she loves you wholeheartedly. And she knows that you love her just as equally. And as much as she feels she doesn’t deserve you, she’ll keep loving you until you don’t want her anymore which would never happen of course

•NSFW•

• she needs to be the one in control all of the time. This isn’t to say she doesn’t like receiving, or like having you on top of her. She just likes to be the one with her hands on the reins yk.

• in fact. She quite enjoys you on top of her or In her lap. But even so, know that she’s the one pulling the strings and she’s two steps ahead of you at all times

• she’s gentle and soft with you, but determined. Whether that’s knowing exactly where to touch you and abusing that same spot over and over again until you’re a shaking mess. Or telling you where and how to touch her.

• I said this in my last hcs but fingers in the mouthhhhh. Idc what anyone says. I see it so vividly. She loves it. Loves watching you suck her fingers to get them wet. Or clean them off.

• eats pussy like a god. Will have you seeing stars and thanking whatever Lord may exist for putting that woman right between your thighs. Sloppy and thorough and has you coming with her name on your tongue.

• thigh riding!!!!

• girly loves to manspread. Will sit there and pat her leg for you to perch on, but manoeuvre you to straddle her leg instead. And she loves how it makes you blush ‘ you’re a regular ol’ cowgirl now ain’t ya honey? ‘ as she leans back in her seat to watch you I’m literally going insane

• morning sex!! Waking up spooning with her, teasing her by wiggling your hips against her until she slips a hand over your hips and between your legs

• ‘ this what y’ wanted? Been dreamin of me honey? ‘

• will absolutely get up afterwards as casual as ever and ask what’s for breakfast. As if she hadn’t just had her fingers buried in your cunt.

• her aftercare is just so gentle. Especially if she’s been gone a while and has you coming for hours on end. She’ll praise you and hold you and help clean you up. Maybe drag you into the tub with her and sit behind you to wash your hair.

• and she enjoys the intimacy of dressing you so much more than undressing. Getting you comfy and cosy in clean night clothes before snuggling up with you in bed, letting you rest your head on her chest and tangling up your legs together.

[ecoamerica]

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The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[firstkanaphans]

if i have permission to be a bit of a bitch in your inbox (feel free to ignore this if not), the dichotomy people build between bl and queer media is sooooo fascinating. and of course by that i mean it gives me hives. the universalizing of 'real queer experiences' is obnoxious as hell, but how its been applied to ofts has really shown me why i find it so obnoxious. most of the people who hold this dichotomy would never classify a bl that ignores homophobia as 'authentically queer' media. but i definitely saw people who hoped that the 'authentically queer' ofts would exist in a bubble without any slutshaming, or that it would be resolutely shut down in show. but in my aroallo experience? that would be as inauthentic as the no homophobia bubble, so where does that leave us?

also the circular logic in the bl vs queer media arguments is mind numbing. 'bl doesnt cover these types of themes' yeah dude because you forcibly remove everything with those themes from the bl category in your head. 'queer media must acknowledge homophobia' the idea that a story by queer people about queer characters isnt really queer because it chooses to focus on joy or discovery or any other facet of queer existence is so fucking depressing. go hug a queer friend and think about why you feel queerness is defined by suffering before anything else.

Oh, hey, you found my soap box, Anon! Let me just step on up there with you for a minute.

So, first off, let me just say how much I hate the term “authentically” queer. It seems to suggest that in order to be queer, you have to be queer a certain way. As an ultra femme lesbian, the queer community often makes me feel like I’m not queer enough. That I don’t understand the hardships that come with being gay because I am “straight-passing.” This is the same thing people do to BLs. News flash: if you’re queer, you’re queer. Period. Congratulations, that’s all it takes to be authentic!

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a large percentage of the people I see using this designation are straight women who think that queer suffering is a necessary part of the queer experience, but a lot of “authentically queer” people—me included—don’t want to be reminded of our real-life suffering every time we turn on the TV. Heartstopper is triggering for me. Bad Buddy is not. As a queer woman currently living in Ron DeSantis’s Florida,  I deserve to be able to turn on the TV every once in a while and not be reminded that there are people in the world who want me dead.

I’ve learned that when people describe a BL as “authentically queer,” what they actually mean is “This BL feels more Western”—the racist insinuation there being that Western media is inherently better.

I feel like The Eclipse is a good example of this hypocrisy. No one has ever called The Eclipse “authentically queer” despite the fact that it delivers one of the most nuanced takes on the dangers of systemic homophobia that I have seen anywhere. The writers of both the source material and the script are gay men. The director is queer. That seems to meet all of the qualifications these people set for “authentically queer” and yet no one has ever questioned that The Eclipse is a BL. Why? Because it incorporates traditionally Asian/yaoi humor tropes such as the pratfall and the accidental kiss. 

Are you sensing a pattern? It’s not the queer-ness of a piece of media that determines whether it is seen as “authentic.” It is its “Western-ness.”

Let me be very clear: All BLs are “authentically queer” media because the only requirement needed for a piece of media to be “authentically” queer is for the characters to be queer. And if you don’t like that, then maybe stop watching BLs.

If the people who were producing these shows had a problem with the term, that would be another discussion, but they don’t. P’Jojo has never advertised Only Friends as anything other than a BL. The fandom did that for him. And with all due respect, if the people making the fucking thing are calling it a BL, then it’s a fucking BL.

So, yeah. Not liking BLs doesn’t make you cool. It makes you a bigot. The fact that the term has become so derogatory is rooted in both racism and misogyny because this was originally a genre created by women, for women, and the hobbies of women are so often infantilized.

BLs are queer media. Die mad about it.

[saezurumurmurs]

A BL Platform For Everyone

NB: Please reblog this for visibility!

A little over two years ago, me and my BL crew were in our little chat sharing recommendations. 

Cat had an impressive spread sheet, Marcie and I had iCloud Notes, and it was pretty much chaos.

I looked at it and said out loud, "There has to be a better way for us to keep track of our reads and share recommendations. There has to be right?"

Cat said she wished someone would build a BL app with everything already there. Me, a developer of almost thirty years, paused while a floodlight (not a light bulb) went off in my head.

“Well I could maybe build one… cause like, I build stuff. How would that be?”

By the end of the conversation Cat had invited me to build an app for BL. 

Four weeks later, in late February of 2022, digitaljuicy.com was online. 

In the last couple of years, I’ve been listening to the fandom, paying attention to feedback, poured over analytics, read your responses to the Reader’s Survey and continued to craft a platform with all this in mind.

What I have been building is 100% for us... there is nothing but BL and it is an attempt to encompass ALL of BL. Not just the bits and pieces.

But for two years I've been struggling. Struggling in many ways, but specifically to get what I wanted out of the platform. I tried and failed so many times.

In September of 2022 I tried to raise venture capital to build the platform I wanted for us. I pitched it to accelerators and true blue venture capital.

Juicy is what is called 'pre-seed'. Which means were still so new and evolving, under-resourced and while there was interest, there was no joy. No funding was raised.

In December 2023, I realised it was time to rethink Juicy. i have been on the deepest dive for months rebuilding Juicy from the ground up and preparing the framework for the mobile app.

I’ve built something I want to use… and wild, I’m building it and using it as a fan at the same time. I'm at the point where it's impossible not to want to share.

And what kind of platform do I mean? At its most basic level:

You can track your reads, watches and plays

You can review and recommend the titles to the community, your friends, strangers on Twitter, your friend you're trying to corrupt outside the fandom. Your poison.

Timelines for you, for titles, for episodes, chapters… just about everything. I mean everything: The creators, the publishers, the studios, the actors... you can leave reviews and status posts on EVERYTHING. No algorithms, no force feeding... just discovery, recommendations and honest reviews by this community about our community and the industry we feed.

Collections! Lists of stuff you're reading, dropped, want to read, want to buy, love or hate, all pretty and organised and shareable..

A growing database resource of titles, tagged up to its eyeballs with a minutiae of data.. with reading an streaming links and anything else we find that we think is relevant.

But it is also a lot more than this.

I wanted it to be more than what it was. I want to turn Juicy into a mobile app, add some more functionality and more specifically, platform all of BL for its non-Asian fandom.

We get left out of so much, I feel like we need our own thing. 

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I was tired of being banned on social media for sharing content. How you gonna ban me for saying a 2D fictional character needs to be shot with shite and strung with cobweb? But they did… and I know it’s not just me.

What about the creators? How do they interface with the non-Japanese or non-Korean fandoms? On which misogynistic hell site?

What about the publishers and merchandisers? What about the little Etsy sellers? Why does BL have to hidden away in the databases of mangaupdates, anisearch and anilist? Why does every single manga tracker out there seem to have pitiful listings for BL? 

Is it because we’re a female or queer audience? 

Look at this lil video I made:

Either way, I’ve long felt it’s time for us to do our own thing. So I’ve been building it. Pixel by pixel. Feature by feature on my own.

Juicy has been a small chat group, but I’m the only developer. We’ve always been clear about what we wanted to build: A platform for the fandom, the creators, the publishers, the merchandisers… my goal is a one-stop platform for BL and I am damn close to presenting this new iteration.

This was and remains the core of what I’m building: The largest English platform for BL on the planet. The functionality is one thing, but building a database like that is not a one-person job.

So now I need your help.

First to keep the servers online, so I can continue to build and develop and finally, finally release the mobile app. I can't tell you how much I want that.

I’m close to pushing the new Juicy 3.0 out, and I’m very in love with the work I’ve done since December. It’s a new look, and it works 1000 times better than the previous iterations of Juicy.

I just have hit a wall financially, and need your help and support to get it over the line.

Juicy's ass is fat and I been carrying her mostly alone for two solid years. 

I’m going to launch a Kickstarter for this project in a bit so I can hire another developer  to help with the trickier bits and fine tune the mobile app, but for now, I felt a Patreon would at least help us keep the servers up and maybe, just maybe allow us to afford a few crucial bits that will elevate your experience as a user.

And because I’m a developer, and I can do some pretty kinky shit with APIs and such, if you support this Patreon campaign, you will get some nice feature perks on the platform automagically. You won’t have to pay again to access these perks in-app later.

As many perks as I can cook up anyway, not the least of which will be access to some of the nicer functions and features I’ve already built into the platform.

When the mobile app launches, you will get it first and for free! Plus we’ve been talking about a lot of other ways we can make the platform fun beyond what I've done already.

I plan to monetise the platform in various ways, but in a profit sharing model. You contribute to the database, you contribute content, you get a share of whatever the platform makes. This is already built into the system. This will be open to anyone willing, but to Patrons first.

Finally, I'm limiting the number of people who can subscribe via Patreon to 1000 people. Once we hit that number, the rolls will be closed to new membership, and everyone directed to the platform to pay for any services or merchandise.

My goal for this group of Patrons is that you become an exclusive and tightly knit inner circle.

My hope is that you will help me actively shape what Juicy will become. Your votes and say will carry weight. Your feature requests considered and if possible implemented first.

You will get access to exclusive merchandise, exclusive giveaways and promos (like free stuff), and exclusive programming from the team.

With your help we will produce an exclusive podcast for Patrons only discussing all things BL and Juicy (honestly our conversations are generally wild and hilarious... it will be a rollick for sure), along with other content for Patrons only. We've even planned watch parties and other fun shit... I swear, we want you all to be our greatest ambassadors so we are planning as many treats as we can.

Your access on the platform will be specific to your Patreon subscription and your treatment will be VIP for the life of your subscription.

Finally, the way my auADHD are set up, I have no interest in the dramas of the BL fandom, so this is never going to be about gatekeeping access to anything. It’s about making more access possible. You can help bring us all together and make us stronger as a group.

So do you think Digital Juicy sounds like something you’d like in on?

Okute Sea

Saezuru Murmurs

[scarrletmoon]

i cant wait until i fully make sense so izzy thoughts below the cut

it's just SO REFRESHING to know that i -- and others in the same boat (ha) -- actually got izzy. got that he's the antagonist, that he's there to cling to the old guard as ed tries to escape it, that he's the representation of toxic masculinity and white supremacy and self-hating queer people

the thing that made him interesting was that he held so tightly onto one version of piracy (and masculinity) even as the world changed around him. he thought he knew what he wanted. he thought that if he could steer the ship -- steer blackbeard -- back to a bygone era, that would fix everything. izzy is every conservative who thinks that the world is falling apart bc we've lost sight of tradition. izzy is the person who doesn't realize that their hard-headedness is what's causing them misery. izzy is every person so afraid of change that they think their ultimate mission is to go back to what once was. izzy is doing this for YOUR own good

except the show doesn't think that way. at every turn, this show says "there's more than one way to be a man". it says "people can change if they want to". it says "there are people out there who want to forgive you, if you stop hardening your heart". it says "you've built this wall that you think is protecting you, but it's actually the reason why you feel unloveable"

izzy had to change in order to reach that point. he's so stubborn that he had to fall especially hard to even be receptive to it. i don't think he was always kind deep down -- i think he had to be broken down to almost nothing, until his old crutches literally broke beneath him, before he could accept that the world isn't a cruel, selfish place, or that he needs to be cruel and selfish to survive in it

and as he changes, he no longer functions as the antagonist. as ricky says, he got "boring". he's served his purpose. and unlike ed, that's not terrifying to him, because he knows it's true. serving his purpose doesn't mean he has nothing left to live for. it means that when he's finally on his deathbed, he's the old man who had a full life of regret and sadness but also love and joy, and he's finally happy. he finally likes who he is. and it's like his entire life was leading up to a moment where he realizes his true mission was to find love. he's found it, so unlike ed who had to shove himself off the ledge, he lets go by himself. he's not screaming and begging for death like he was in episode 2. he knows that he's leaving behind a man who doesn't need him, but who he loves, and who he knows loves him. and that love isn't possessive and cruel anymore.

i think there's a way the story could've ended without izzy dying, but i think it's very symbolic that in his last moments, he finally accepts who ed wants to be. he was the last one clinging to blackbeard, and he had to let that go for the story to continue. djenks has literally said izzy is the mentor who has to die in act 2 so the protagonist can actually grow into what they need to be.

and i know there are a lot of people who relate to izzy, and i know they don't want to hear it from me, and that's why they lash out at me. they think i've never done this introspection myself, that i've made excuses for my favourite characters (i read this as projection). and i'm hoping that some of them DO that introspection and realize what the show is ACTUALLY trying to tell them; not that you deserve to die for being who you are because fuck, by the time izzy dies, he's NOTHING like what he was. what the show is ACTUALLY trying to tell you is that even if your past is full of cruelty, even if you've hurt others, even if you feel like the world is against you, you can still change. you can become someone you actually like, and who others also like, without losing the parts of you that feel like YOU. YOU can realize all of that before you're on your deathbed finally apologizing for all the shit you did. i'm not saying that everyone else is better than you bc they might have reached that conclusion already. but i AM saying that maybe it might make you happier to be a little vulnerable and a little more accepting of things and people who you thought were against you

i imagine there's a trove of izzy fans who're going to leave the fandom now and do their own insular thing. and i'm not going to pretend that i'm going to miss the people -- regardless of which side of fandom they're on -- who have been shitty to me and others. but if even ONE person realizes that maybe they got izzy wrong? that's good. i'd like that

[taylortruther]

That NYT piece is unhinged, and it will make the Kaylors feel like the New York Times agrees with them. Why can’t they just stan genuinely gay artists, not a woman who has only publicly dated men, and who has said this speculation makes her uncomfortable?

i think it's okay that the ny times wants to post opinion pieces like this - like it or not, taylor's sexual identity is a hot topic and has been one for years now, and the interest around it does speak to our societal concerns!

but i think this article in particular pushes a lot of thoughts that i have to challenge whenever i see them. primarily, that songs about fear or yearning in love are exclusively queer topics, and that a woman couldn't feel specific ways around a man. when it comes to taylor specifically, this article (and many similar ones) neglects to mention that she feels fear and trapped because she's felt hunted (by the media, "hunters with cellphones") every time she leaves the house. she's described men in her life being uncomfortable with her security or being seen with her or associated with her. she explicitly stated multiple times in her music and in miss americana that she found happiness with joe because it was happiness without outside input, and she had to unlearn an entire belief system (that she needed to be good and liked) in order to find security again.

i always understood why queer people saw themselves in her music. because fearing being "found out," needing secrecy, having to hide what you truly mean, is a completely relatable queer experience in a world that is so unfriendly to us. the writer touches on this at the beginning, too, with chely wright saying a huge star would need to come out in order to truly break up the status quo, and by saying that queer readings (even if they're "wrong") are necessary to normalize equality... but i think not diving deeper neglects a critical piece of this discussion. taylor's anxieties about fame and love are necessary to understanding her work, with or without the queer lens.

also, i think it's just glib sexism that makes people think that her tender love songs couldn't be written by a man. i don't know why the author thinks inthaf and hits different can ONLY be about women because nothing in them is gendered. maroon, sure, the line about lips is titillatingly questionable. but some gaylors have also said this about cardigan (men don't dance!), or treacherous (men don't use their hands in sex!), or so it goes (there's definitely not an extremely well-known sex act called a pearl necklace absolutely not) and like... even if taylor was a gold star lesbian, and wrote those songs about women, they still... could easily apply... to one's experiences with men...

idk like i hate this idea that queer people and straight people experience love in completely different ways. YES, societal/historical context changes how we experience the world. but we are still the same species. we still experience heartbreak and yearning and fear and joy and love and peace with people.

[will80sbyers]

As an ex-Byler, I have to say that the majority of the Bylers are very toxic regarding the Bisexual fans and Bi!Mike headcanons and readings. I am not Bi, but I am queer and whenever I see all the takes and backlash regarding Bi!Mike, I feel a little bit sick tbh bc of insane biphobia this fandom holds deep down and how people normalize it. Thats one of the reasons why I became an ex byler. I just cannot enjoy the ship or the fandom anymore.

I would like to think it's not the majority, there are still lots of gay Mike truthers that are normal people and even if they think Mike is gay they don't act biphobic and support everyone expressing their own headcanon as they want!!

But I think there is a very loud minority acting like they are superior for having a different opinion (in maaaanyyyy different arguments) to the point of even harassing others every single time they see different takes or constantly feeling like they have to reply with a tone that's not about having a normal conversation about headcanons, but it's about devaluing that idea in any way- and even using biphobic arguments to justify their different opinion (which is the only time I responded pissed off to these posts simply because biphobia pisses me off lmao)

that's also why I ended up deciding to block these people when I see them act this way and have had to block A LOT of anon asks, every time I post about bi Mike I get hate asks of people triggered by those posts because they can't stand the idea that Mike could be anything other than the their own headcanon, sometimes I respond and other times I just block the anon and move on, but it's every single timeeee like clockwork lol I know that every time I feel like making a post about Mike being bisexual I will get hate 🌈

Idk they can't stop doing that for some reason even if they look extremely insecure, like the toxic people that have to attack others constantly about hating the idea of Mike being gay, I've been saying that they are doing the same thing that they say they hate about Milxvens but they don't get it apparently... maybe biphobia blinds you as much as homophobia does idk

Anyway, I'm so sorry that you felt like you had to leave the fandom behind because of this, I get it completely but it's still sad to have the joy of shipping a couple tarnished because of these people!

[damazcuz]

I've only had this account for about 5 years now. But I've been on tumblr for 13 years, since I was 16 and just starting to learn who I was, what transgender meant, what the world looked like at the time for a group I was swiftly realizing included me.

And for 13 years I have consistently used this site and stayed on, occasionally blog hopping when things felt stale or if things got bad. And things got bad sometimes. You'd get people calling you nasty things in your ask or replies or reblogs or tagging your username to sic their followers on you. And tumblr has always treated targeted harassment as a "Sorry you feel that way. That's not against tos though! Was this answer helpful?" issue whenever it's reported. They've never cared against abuse on their website, IN THE EXCEPTION of cases in which radfems and nazis have maliciously mass reported users for MAYBE hitting their breaking points and MAYBE snapping and saying something stupid that could be used as an excuse. Could be something today or four years ago in your archive but at some point, you had a bad day and posted something that could make tumblr say finally, we can get rid of a pest! or you were just transgender and said as much. A little too loudly in front of the wrong mod.

And this sounds so silly to say. But when you live in a website for 13 years and it's where you have your primary interactions with so many people and where you've met so many of your friends! It starts to feel like your community. Like an apartment building we all live in and visit each other's apartments and talk and decorate and laugh and play. And it's a bit of a dump and we all laugh about the crumbling peeling wallpaper and the slumlord that runs the place. We know the landlord isn't our friend, they just want us to pay rent until we're no good for it anymore. Produce the posts that make this site anything more than a hate forum, make the memes and the art and the posts that end up everywhere from your little sister's pinterest to your mom's Facebook to your uncle's meme subreddit. Keep up the garden and don't pile trash on the curb or you're out. This is "the queerest place on the net" only because queer people live here and hung on with our fingernails to stay here because if you have to leave, what's your fallback? You like your neighbors. They can't all come with you. They won't. Even the kind of crumbly parts feel like home after a while.

Like I want to clarify that Tumblr's reputation as a funny place to chill and scroll and meet people and see new things is not from the transphobes working on staff. Their job is to turn a profit or at least keep it LOOKING profitable, so the site can sell to the next moron to buy it out. The fun and joy of Tumblr is us. WE made this place. When you tear down our decorations and rip out our furnishings and toss us out on the street and look at what's left to show the next prospective tenant, it's a fucking dump. There is nothing left but the shittiest people in our neighborhood who are allowed to stay and make hate posts about us. There's the framework for "someone could make pretty posts here! It's a fixer upper!" But it's shit. It sucks.

I've been spiraling since yesterday over a couple of things I'm not taking well. One is work. "They can't fire us all!" I always joke. And people laugh. Last night my boss and I spent an hour and a half in this miserable fucking meeting, talking about the pressure pushing down on our load bearing team. We fantasized over all 8 of us being able to say "that's enough. I'm better than this. We are all walking out today and we will not come back. Don't text." And we can't. None of us can lose the stability of a full time job that pays kind of okay even though it's killing you. None of us can face that uncerainty. I left with chest pain. It was my first day back after major surgery. I went home and sat in one spot for over six hours almost unmoving, crying and just in disbelief of how unfair it is. We can't leave. But something has to give before my team dissolves and one of us puts a gun in their mouth. And then we all still have to make our shift. Who else will do all that? Who's going to cover, huh? Clock in.

And I spent the rest of my day, which ran to 4 am before I was able to sleep, wishing I could quit and hating what's happening on tumblr just as much. On a fucking blogging platform. Because this has been my fun sandbox for over a decade and it's always kind of sucked, it's full of cat shit and people throw sand at you and you're getting sunburned but it's fun here. You find your people to play with. And then it's like you remember oh yeah, other people here want me dead. The owner of this place wants me to die. He wants everyone that makes this place cool and fun to die. And he'll turn around and say "yeeeah well you shouldn't have joked about being mean to me." And it's like why am I here! Why am I making posts for YOU?

I can't leave employment. I'm only a couple of weeks, maybe a couple months away from homelessness at any given time, with how tight finances are. "Shoestring budget" would be generous. We're making it through sheer force of will. But I can't quit my job, and neither can anyone else.

But I can leave this place that I've hated and loved for so, so long. The other massive drain on my life that wants to see me shrivel and die. I can get up and go. We could all just go. Mass exodus. And I know it won't happen. Give it a week, ten days. People move along. Yeah, that sucked. Well, here we all still are. Still posting. Still tumbling. Still complaining about the landlord. But most people won't leave. How can you walk on your friends and community, knowing they won't all follow? But how do you continue to stay here watching this happen? I'm already listening to people tell me "so? that doesn't affect me. it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. and of course this happened, duhhhh." It's like, feel stupid for getting comfortable here. You should feel stupid for settling in and making it a home and thinking it would be fun here. If you are transgender you are not safe and you are not wanted. Not in the queerest place on the web, either.

It's not about the funny hammer car explosion """threat.""" It was never about the hammer car explosion. That was a dogwhistle through a megaphone to transphobes. Tumblr's darlings. Don't worry. I'll take care of this one that thinks she can speak up against me. And against you. And now there's a defined "REASON" for the ban. Why, Matt hardly knew he was banning a trans woman. All he knew was fear! He had no choice! And you can ignore the ACLU and the claims of systemic transphobia, that's something else. We fixed that!

I want this place to die because it is already rotting. We are scraping at the bones at this point. Walls are crumbling and there's a hole in the floor to the room below and the windows have long been knocked out and the boiler hasn't worked in years. They aren't going to fix it. It has never been the intention to fix it. They want you to leave or die. Whichever. Don't matter. Just get lost. I will find another tenant. I will find another person who will give me more ad revenue. You are replaceable in that sense. Someone else will join tumblr tomorrow. And tumblr will make a buck off them instead.

But they cannot replace the ways in which you and I have made this site livable and bearable and fun. And I want us to leave so that the husk of this place can collapse and blow away in the wind. I want tumblr to take a major hit and I want the loss of ad revenue to HURT THEM. I want a mad scramble to figure out how to fix it all. They can't. They won't. The fix has always been there and it's always been refused. Terfs will never be turned away from tumblr. Neither will nazis. "Sorry you feel that way, but that's not against our tos. Was this answer helpful?"

You know how they say, "it there are ten people at a table and one is a nazi and no one stands up, you have ten nazis"? This feels like that to me. If 20,000 of us wait a week, shrug, and resume joking and playing and say, well, yeah, it's sad that another dozen trans fems were banned last night. But I like it here...

It feels like that. Why are my trans sisters' archives of 5, 10+ years of life and joy being wiped clean? I can't even tell you how many posts I've seen from an op whose url I recognize from last week, but whose username is grey and icon default, because she posted something less than a day ago to say "yo this sucks. Fuck this place and fuck this guy." They've never ever found the terfs and nazis to ban them because they DON'T CARE. Those are the ones they prefer. That they cater to. Post about the ceo being a dumbfuck and in 12 hours, risk losing your community and the ability to look back at your life online. Clean slate. As if you never lived there. Oh, but tumblr isn't a transphobic place. We fired the one and only naughty transphobe on staff who was taking bribes to send out bans. Pay to win moderation. That person's gone. So it's okay and you don't need to worry. It's okay, I promise. It's the queerest place on the web. Get comfortable.

I love my job and I love this place. One of them is going to push me to the edge. But I can choose to leave one. You can choose to leave with me. They can't fire us all.

[pillowfort-social]

Pride Month 2023

Hi everyone. As you likely know, June is Pride Month.

We’re aware many people in recent years have become wary of corporations that participate in  ‘Rainbow Capitalism’ – i.e., showing nominal support for the LGTBQIA2S+ community during Pride month as basically a marketing tactic, but otherwise failing to stand by the LGTBQIA2S+ community in substantive ways– sometimes even donating to anti-LGTBQIA2S+ organizations and politicians behind the scenes, or walking back their support in the face of opposition. As such, we want our community to know that our commitment to supporting and defending the LGTBQIA2S+ community is sincere and borne of conviction, not just a marketing ploy.

We have seen a dramatic increase in anti-trans legislation in the United States– and even legislation more broadly targeting anyone expressing non-traditional gender norms. Many are rightfully terrified by what is occurring. Make no doubt about it: these attacks are part of a larger attack on the LGTBQIA2S+ & LGTBQIA2S+ BIPOC community, a reactionary response to the progress & freedom that queer & trans people have achieved in recent decades. This legislation has made it difficult for trans and queer people to access healthcare, education, and employment. 

Furthermore, harassment and discrimination seems to be at an all time high because other social media platforms are continuing to allow hate speech and fascist thought freely. Trans and queer folks are having their voices silenced, or simply overridden by algorithms that boost bigoted rhetoric. As a result, we feel it is more important than ever for us to affirm our stance as unequivocally pro-LGTBQIA2S+ and pro-BIPOC. The need for us as a social media network to continue to stand by our LGTBQIA2S+ and LGTBQIA2S+ BIPOC members is obvious; we must be the counterbalance to all that prejudice and bigotry.

Pride Month is certainly a time to celebrate the trans and queer community, but it is also a time to remember the work where it all started. The first Pride was, in fact, a riot in response to systemic brutality against queer and trans people. We encourage you to learn more about the 1969 Stonewall Riots. 

And that’s why we won’t participate in ‘Rainbow Capitalism’. What we say here is from the heart. Our support isn’t a gimmick. 

Pillowfort.social doesn’t allow hate speech. We do not condone hateful rhetoric. We absolutely do not tolerate racism, homophobia, or transphobia. And fascism does not belong here. 

We love and support our LGTBQIA2S+ & LGTBQIA2S+ BIPOC community 365 days a year. Not just one month out of the year.  Pillowfort.social will continue to be a safe space for our trans and queer communities today, tomorrow, and forever. 

A final note: Now more than ever the LGTBQIA2S+ & LGTBQIA2S+ BIPOC Community needs your help to stand up to this wave of attacks. They need allies in the active, not passive, sense– people to stand up toward the danger they are facing. Be an accomplice. That means speaking out against anti-trans, anti-queer, and racist legislation. That means listening to trans, queer, and BIPOC voices. It’s so much more than 30 days of wearing rainbows. You might, if you can be safe doing so, look into participating with your local member groups such as the Equality Federation or the Human Rights Campaign. Organizations such as The Trevor Project are also in need of funding. 

We encourage anyone who wants to promote a local, national ,or international organization working for queer & trans rights to do so in the comments of this post. All hateful comments will be removed. The best first step to oppose anti-LGBTQIA+ legislation is to let the politicians who are promoting these measures know that there are a lot more people fighting against them than they bargained for.

Are you a trans or queer community member in need of aid? Also leave a comment here or here and link ways other users can support you. 

This month find joy in the midst of the storm. Live your life truly out of spite. Don’t let those bastards get you down.

[sapphicisland]

As a fan of heartstopper who is also a lesbian I hate how people keep painting the narrative that the show is bad representatiom because its not "gritty"enough or that its made for the straights. First off Heartstopper deals with some very serious topics; Charlie was accidently outed by Tao and got bullied to the point he developed an eating disorder, Nick is constantly battling biphobia, Elle was bullied for years while transitioning, Tara and Darcy have to deal with a huge amount of lesbophobia from their peers and the show recently added scenes that suggest Darcy has a difficult home life.

Just because the show has cute squiggles and leaves instead of a dark colour palate and moody lighting doesnt mean its not a serious show. Also Heartstopper may be cutesy but the novel isnt chaste and sanitized in the way people often portray it. Nick and Charlie have some serious conversations about intimacy and how to balance that with Charlie's insecurities due to his ED. They also have sex and there is even a scene where Nick and the girls go on a college trip and they stop to buy condoms and lube and have a conversation about safe sex.

Heartstopper is an incredibly important show. I think alot of its haters take for granted just how healing it is for queer teens to have a show about queer joy and community while still seeing the characters deal with serious issues in a way that feels authentic. Nicks whole arc with coming to terms with his bisexuality and coming out was a gift within itself and the shows constant messaging about never assuming people's identities and letting people figure themselves out is more relevant than ever.

I'm not saying Heartstopper is the pinnacle of queer representation in media. What I am saying is that this is a good show that has done good things for the community wheter you like it or not. I'm also saying that just because a teen show is cute and heartwarming and isn't hyper focused on drugs and sex doesn't mean it lacks depth not every show is euphoria. Not every teen is doing drugs and having loads of sex and thats fine.

Also stop trying to say Heartstopper doesnt match up to Ofmd or Young Royals or Good Omens. It doesn't have too they arent even in the same categories and believe it or not we can hold space for more than one popular gay show at a time without them being in competition.

[vole-mon-amour]

3x09, part 2.

As you should!! Queen!! Whip his ass!!!

Strings that bind us? That one definitely hurt.

Jamie and Sam being besties. <3

That's what you chose to focus on? Really? :D For real though, I still don't understand where the show is going with Roy. One step forward, three steps back. If this is the last season, it's weird.

Rebecca is theeee queen. <3

They're not messing around with that password. Also, theft in the locker room? Interesting.

How to deal with 'friendly' teasing? Like this :D King :D

I LOVE this moment. I love that Trent is casually drinking tea and eating his orange, and Colin went straight up to him with 'Isaac knows" with no prelude. I LOVE that in Amsterdam it was Trent that asked Colin, "How do you do it?" as in asking for knowledge, and in here it's reversed. It's Colin coming to Trent. I love this bonding soooo much. It's so important. An older queer with a younger queer.

I love him, you honor. Imagine having Trent Crimm, Ted Lasso, and Jamie Tartt as your good friends that you can go to ans talk. Goals.

Queen!! Also, I love how Rebecca is often working with tea and/or biscuits on her desk. A foodie that isn't afraid to show it. She's come so far since s1, but then again, it's been said multiple times that real Rebecca is silly and wonderful, so I love seeing real Rebecca <3

She talks like Ted. :) More straightforward, but yeah. With Ted, Roy opened up on his own.

"But I guess I'm not that person." "Not yet."

In here, he feels threatened, vulnerable, so he shoots that "I just wanna be left alone" and hopes she lets it go. I see you, protective layers. I see you. I wonder if it's some kind of trauma/issue from childhood that he's so repressed. Bc I've been there & sometimes I still fight that or feel ashamed to talk about some things so I keep quiet or don't explain properly, but it's sooo much better to talk it through. And I guess Roy won't go to therapy, so Rebecca being like This is his way of therapy. She just doesn't want to deal with that bullshit.

I love her. She's great.

I need Nate to get his big boy trousers on and stop sucking up to Rupert. I hate Rupert so. fucking. much. Is there a thing as an anti fanclub? Because I feel like I'm in it during moments like this. Rupert's ego is already higher than the sky, but Nate is making it even worse. Ew.

When will Nate finally leave Rupert and gets back to Ted? Huh? Or stays with Rupert but actually fights him on that and say that Ted is actually great and should be allowed to go to their matches if he wants to. Like, ughhhh. It's so frustrating.

That's the worst idea EVER. He'll ruin you, Nathan. On the other hand, maybe you'll finally understand how evil he is.

It's been 16 minutes in this episode & so many things happened already? I'm surrprised. It feels like 30 at least.

Mae <3 The joy of having an older lady on the show that knows what she's worth.

I'll just leave it here. The way Rebecca doesn't hesitate to physically comfort Keeley. It was in s1? When she said she's not a hug person. She totally is. The real her. She's like female Roy Kent that is less repressed and will do anything for her people. Seriously, as soon as things shifted for her in the show, she had my heart. I saw her potential before things shifted & I loved that for her. She's amazing.

I feel like Jamie is best friends with the entire team. Look at them. They love him. They were playing before Ted interrupted them. No idea how it's called in English, only in my native language, but that's so sweet.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[cancerian-woman]

For the ask game...

TVDU 2

Klonnie 15

Bonnie 7 and Lucy 8

TVDU: Bonnie: Twitches is one of my favorite movies growing up that's where it started. Bonnie embodies both of the twins. Camryn has this outgoing confident personality while Alex is stern and reserved. Both are determined through it all. I see all of this in Bonnie. She goes through a lot and still has this sense of light to the world, people and even magic or herself. There's so much fiery determination in her that allows Bonnie to persevere. Rebekah!TO: Seeing less of Rebekah in TO grew her up as a character. In TVD she and Klaus look petty for lingering around s4. I love that she doesn't yield with her emotions, and we see her fight back whether that be torturing Damon or fighting with her brothers. She was still bitchy in a mature sense that she'd only react if she felt threatened too that is. Which what another fave character of mine grows into (Brooke Davis & Hanna Marin). (Okay cause my next answer is long I’m going to leave this at 2.)

Klonnie: I have a longer answer for this one but I’ll keep it simple. If TVD wasn't filled with jealous and racist writers. I wished Klonnie’s relationship started late s2-s4. A slow burn enemies to lovers. Klaus is very arrogant but he isn’t stupid when it comes to strategy. His pride would’ve been hurt knowing a baby witch kicked his ass and almost killed him. Then saved his ass! Katherine and Isobel discussed Klaus taste in witches, tbh it would’ve been in character for Katherine to direct Klaus to Bonnie after Greta was killed. On the pretense that Elena would hate it. Katherine would take joy in that

In s3 after Jeremy’s cheating (should’ve been with Vicki) Bonnie would be reluctant to believe in Klaus advances. Klaus would be attentive to the little things people are missing with Bonnie. (Ex: he canonically mentions bringing Abby back for her after being abandoned again.) HOW did he notice that? Who told him. I’m dead ass serious WHO told him that?!😭 Pretty gowns and drawings wouldn’t be enough to keep Bonnie’s attention especially after heartbreak. Bonnie’s loyalty cannot be bought it needs to be earned that’s what she’d want. Klaus would’ve called out that Bonnie aligns herself with bad people all the time he isn’t any different. Bonnie would call out Klaus for ignoring his werewolf side.

S4 can keep expression!Bonnie but with Klaus making it know how he hates Shane? Or still offering his knowledge to magic. There’s more to say but I wish the writers listened to Joseph’s and Kat’s ideas. It would’ve been more compelling to see Klaus pull Bonnie onto his side. Bring in some seduction and a second chance at love. Bonnie’s just as desirable as her friends. Treat her like it. Period.

Bonnie 7: can’t remember the ep rn but s7 Bonnie tells Alaric she’d rather somewhere else making out with a good guy or not so good. Basically she doesn’t enjoy doing shit all the time. She wants to have fun! But survival comes first.

Lucy 8: bisexual or queer period. Since TVD never told us what Katherine did I assumed they fucked a couple of times💀

Thank you for the ask! Sorry this is wordy as hell! I’m a nerd and overthinker

Ask Games!

[knghtlock]

but also to be. un-silly for a second. the whole "canons are better than ocs discourse" has always existed in some shape or form for the past... twelve years i've been on tumblr? and we do this every three months, where people reblog posts that are supportive of ocs after oc writers are like "hey this thing is happening again, people are being dicks to ocs AGAIN" only for the cycle to repeat again in the next three to four months with no real change.

also, everyone always talks about people outright stating they won't interact with ocs but nobody ever talks about the smaller things in people's rules ( that also affect disabled people and people who can't always be on tumblr ) like activity requirements, limit on ooc chatter, or ic thread requirements, which you can't get when people don't write with you and when people don't write with you, you gotta let people know you aren't dead via starter calls and what-not. and then it becomes a cyclical thing where eventually, oc writers have to post headcanon after headcanon for weeks on end, write drabbles and make aesthetics, and be that first person to reach out on ims, post starter call upon starter call only to , eh, maybe write a few times a week if you're popular and a few times a month if you aren't. and that's before you factor in if your oc is marginalized, by the way. it is not a secret that disabled , queer , poc or god forbid , fem or androgynous ocs get significantly less attention than male-presenting cishet ocs, and it has been this way for longer than anyone will admit, and especially if your muse is intersectionally marginalized. kinda like real life, which i kinda come on here to escape from, dunno about you.

i don't know, man. maybe we need to all remember that people have real lives and tumblr is a collaborative hobby. maybe we need to start reaching out to each other more. i'm not saying there is no hope, but i am saying that we do need to change , lest we be doing the same shit again every three months until the oc writers leave or tumblr implodes.

also, obligatory "if you hate ocs just because they don't have the economic capital to become one of your beloved canon characters, you suck." the difference between a canon and an oc is marginal at best and because of capitalism and popularity at worst. like there are ocs on this website that i am more interested in than some canon characters & i consider to be unofficial canon to me. there are some people who have taken a neglected canon character or a shittily-written canon and turned them into their own oc that i like INFINITELY more than the canon version! imagine not experiencing that kinda love and joy for a friend's creation. wack as hell.

as for... action steps ? i dunno man. follow an oc. like one of their starter calls. ask them about their character. if you don't get something about their backstory, just ask. start a thread with an oc and keep it going. write a starter call for an oc, or send THEM memes! if you're an oc writer, you can write with your FELLOW ocs ! do unto ocs what you would like done unto you.

[visorforavisor]

you ugly fucking homophobe. stop calling GAY men "queer". Actual homosexuals hate that fucking word.

hi. i’m assuming this is about my post saying that i like benoit blanc being an older and happy queer character. in this post i also mentioned that a certain queer generation is missing many of its members, due to the aids crisis.

i’m queer.

i’ve been called it (in the context of a slur). i’ve also been called other homophobic slurs. to my face.

i use that word for benoit blanc because rian johnson, writer of the benoit blanc mysteries, said blanc was queer (here).

there are individuals who do not want that word used for them, and i wouldn’t ever use it for them. but when talking about an individual who does use it (implied of blanc by johnson using it to describe him), or a group that doesn’t just have a single identity (eg the victims of the aids crisis were not all gay — for example many of them were bisexual; this just wasn’t as well-understood a concept in the broader community then), i might use that term.

additionally, when i made that post, johnson had said that blanc was queer. he had not, to the best of my knowledge, said that blanc was gay (i believe he has since said this). i wanted to use the language that was used for the character i was discussing. it wouldn’t have made sense to not do that.

i didn’t want to refer to the losses via the aids crisis as just being gay, because they weren’t. bisexuals died. trans women died. people outside of the gender binary died. people who can’t be neatly fitted into the category of “gay” (despite largely being seen as such by the outside world¹) were lost in the aids crisis, and i would be (in my view) doing them a disservice if i said “we lost gay men in the aids crisis” and left it at that. it’s a true statement — many gay men did die — but it’s not the whole story and i don’t want to leave the stories of aids victims untold, even in a post that was primarily about queer joy. (my queer joy. benoit blanc’s queer joy. other people’s queer joy, if they’re queer and find joy in that post.)

additionally, when i made that post, johnson had said that blanc was queer. he had not, to the best of my knowledge, said that blanc was gay (i believe he has since said this). i wanted to use the language that was used for the character i was discussing. it wouldn’t have made sense to not do that.

you might not use it for yourself. you might not even want to say it. and that’s cool. but that doesn’t mean that i shouldn’t use or say it.

and it’s nasty to say “actual” like that. you don’t know what i am, and you certainly don’t get to dictate it.

—

1. they were seen as such by the outside world. but if you subscribe to the views that the outside world had on these people — and the idea that they were all gay men is one of those views — then you are also doing a disservice to certain victims of the aids crisis.

[jaskierx]

little pre-warning for suicide (i'm fine though!!)

sorry if this isn't articulated very well but like. i got into ofmd only last october when season 2 was airing and i still remember it's bc i got a clip on tiktok of the "is that blackbeard?" "no, i'm blackbeard" scene which is SUCH a good fucking hook btw. and before watching it i kind of actually hated it LOL like people do with anything that's popular and Everywhere it just oversaturates sometimes. and it made me feel kind of silly to go back on my own opinion but i didn't even really dwell on that bc me getting into it also happened to coincide with a failed suicide attempt (that kind of funnily also included a gun that misfired like in-show lol). and like i was pretty understandably all over the place, but generally still in the "i want to live" moment that happens right after you nearly properly die. and the thing about suicide recovery is that you don't actually want to recover. so it was a really up and down left and right kind of situation and you're left feeling kind of like a puppet with no strings that's also been thrown into the ocean or something.

but then i liked this show that was funny and silly and i also got to see trans and gay people existing happily and normally which isn't necessarily NEW but it did feel really cool and unique to be able to go Oh and this is the moment where they would usually leave it to subtext and then they actually KISS and it's like woahhhh. i didn't know they could do that... and then as i was still processing what was happening with my own life and like mortality i got to see this character go through the exact same thing and come out on the other side of it ENTIRELY by himself and experience love and self determination and actualisation and i'm not saying it made me want to do it myself but it did feel like a really personal thing for me (hence anon also lol).

and for the few weeks it was coming out i got to sit there and think about how he was doing and it gave me another reason to not do something again. like i am so definitely not the only one who can say "this show saved my life" but honestly it literally did. like there's that thing when you're suicidal where the things that you're sticking around for are the only things you've got so they're as important as anything even if it's like... going to a concert the following week or something. or getting a burger. and i really honestly stuck around just to love this show and my cat.

it's been a few months now ofc and it still sucks and i'm not better or anything but being able to indulge in something fun for fun's sake is the biggest source of joy in my life and tbh it's not gonna go away just because there's going to be no season 3. when i'm feeling too much of particularly anything i have a handy little balm which i know everyone feels but still. a little gifset of ed always makes me feel better if i'm freaking out so it's cool i don't care if it's a bit lame. i'm a bit sad for season 3 and everyone being sad is also making me sadder but i still have a lot of love left so ah. it'll be fine :)

if anything i hope this inspires people to have a little boom in the numbers re: content now that we know there'll be no canon to possibly diverge from and we can make up our OWN season 3 ‼️ which will be fun :)

hi anon sorry i didn't reply to this yesterday i wanted to sit and think about what to say

and then i didn't really come up with anything lmao other than you're right and i love you and i love this show and it's so incredibly important to me and so groundbreaking in so many ways and has made me feel seen in a way that no other piece of media ever has. the queer rep is groundbreaking. the portrayal of ed's suicidality moved me beyond words. there are dozens of other people sharing stories about how ofmd helped them to come out or meet their partner or start transitioning or quit something that was making them unhappy. i watched s2 at a time while i was really struggling with post-covid symptoms. i've met so many incredible people through this fandom. i think about the show dozens of times a day. the show brought me so much joy and they can't take that away

they can't ever take away how special it was and how much it's changed people's lives

i'm very excited to see what the amazing fic writers in this fandom are going to give us in place of s3. i just wish we could've had the rest of the story david wanted to tell

[thebibliosphere]

Hello Joy! I loved Hunger Pangs & really appreciate the time you take to answer our questions about the book & self-pub! :^)

I was wondering how a hopeful self-published author would vet their editor?

I checked out the editors you used, but I found someone who is familiar with Arthurian Lit I may want to work with instead as that suits my needs. I already received sample edit & agreed with the feedback. But I also want to be sure they’re not like going to try & edit out my queer themes! Any thoughts on tactfully addressing that? Thank you!

Well, the simplest thing would be to sit down with them and discuss what you want to achieve and see how you vibe together.

Sample edits are an excellent means of gauging technical skills, but unless they put it on their website that they are queer/queer-friendly (and some editors do--I used to), the only way to know they’ll be a good fit for you and your goals is to actually ask them and tell them what you want from a project.

If they vibe with it? Great! If they give you weird vibes, thank them for their time and move on. Some editors might charge an assessment fee for this conversation but in my professional experience, I’d only ever do this if I was given the whole manuscript to read first because reading + providing feedback = time and my time is valuable--just like yours! So check and see if they offer manuscript assessments. Most good editors should. (I know @roselarkpublishing does.)

And even then you won’t really know if you’ll be a good fit until you experience working with them. It could be they nod and say all the right things at the time, but when push comes to shove, you might not like their suggestions, and that's okay. You’re allowed to disregard certain suggestions or ask them to tweak things.

And let’s be clear, any edits they make to your manuscript should be marked up as suggestions using the review tools so you can eitheir approve or reject them. The editor should not be changing anything where you can’t see what they’ve changed first.

If they just alter your manuscript in such a way where you don’t know what’s been edited, that's not great and also not how it should be done. Time was we’d edit things with a red pen and leave handwritten notes. Now we have handy review tools that let you see the changes side by side and scroll through them all.

You can also, if you really hate the edit, thank them for their time so far, pay them what they’re owed and find someone else. It's an expensive way of finding out you’re not a good fit, but that's why I suggest getting a manuscript assessment and talking it through first. That's often the best way to find out if you’re going to be a good fit together.

Basically, like any good relationship, you need to communicate with them.

Best of luck! I hope this was helpful.