#lifeafterabuse

[chasethem00n]

Something that, for the most part, remained constant throughout my former #abusiverelationship.... ....my #hands. 🖐🏻🤚🏻 My poor, poor fucking hands! They truly, truly “stuck it out”; (#literally #pun), for me when I needed some ‘protection’ (like a shield 🛡 ) Unfortunately for Kyle, I was very good with my ability to “block” punches coming my way. 🤜🏻💥💪🏻 I was like a ‘pro’ by the end of it. (Which meant my hands were the most bruised, red & swollen towards the end of the relationship 😒) But, anyways, my hand(s) LITERALLY “took” the beating(s) meant for my face. Just think about that for a sec.... It’s very unsettling when you ultimately realize that the damage done to my hands was actually meant for my FACE! 🤭😳 #fuckabusiverelationships #fuckabusivepeople #stophurtingothers #narcissisticabuse #sociopath #sociopathicnarcissist #abuser #victim #abuse #lifeafterabuse #victimtosurvivor #bruise #bruisedbutnotbroken #bruising #abusive #mystory #blockingpunches #protection #lifewithasociopath #injuries #alookback #tbt #throwbackthursday #myoldlife 🔙✊🏻 (at Temecula, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CI634Bng5wS/?igshid=hl1snv49ogkb

[sicklittleboy]

TW: Self Harm, mental illness, religion

∅6•∅3•2∅

Dear Journal,

I got my first tattoo yesterday.

It's a light blue pool noodle with the words "Romans 8:37" enscribed inside.

The verse says basically:

"In all things I lean on him in times of turmoil"

I went to the parlor alone, the artist was a kind man in his 30's with many tattoos.

A self described "pothead" who loves his wife and his job as a tattoo artist.

He never told me his name.

The art is on my left forearm.

It's where all my Scars are.

Pale, small, barley noticable.

but I notice them. Everytime I wear short sleeves or go swimming.

I stare at the little white lines raised up off of my skins normal layer.

I couldn't force myself to stop.

I promised my ex I'd never self harm again.

They promised they'd love me forever.

We both broke promises.

I promised my therapist, I couldn't tell her that forcing myself to stay clean stirs up thoughts of ending it all.

A loss of control.

Spiralling.

I got my first tattoo yesterday.

The feeling of the needles piercing my skin reminded me of the razerblades.

The numbness of the nerves was familiar.

The tattoo artist didn't comment on my scars, I'm thankful he didn't.

His wife praised my creativity with my design, she made me smile because my mom still thinks it's ugly.

I can't admit to mom that I'm covering something much worse.

That I'm covering agony cause by the man she choose over me.

The stinging feeling of the healing skin.

It stings, and I feel like I'm in control again.

A promise I will not cut there anymore.

He gave me artwork and I can't destroy it.

I've trapped myself in the loop of promising myself to get better rather than relying on someone else's permanent place in my life.

The stinging of newly created art feels so much better than the shame of bloody lines in my skin.

I still feel the fresh cuts aching quietly and the scabbing reminds me of the scars.

I'm promising myself that I'm trying.

Not that I'm never slip up (I will)

Or that I'll never loose sight of the horizon.

But rather that I can do it.

I'm getting better.

Even if sometimes it gets worse.

Any progress is good progress.

I'm getting better, guys.

I promise it gets better.

Love, mark.

[pokingholes-cptsdwarrior]

So true! #Repost @cptsdsurvivalguide ・・・ 🌥When you realize that the things you’ve been justifying for years or hiding from yourself and others has actually been ABUSE, it can turn your world upside down. Many of us remember when we realized we’d been abused. It can feel like a before and after. Maybe someone on the outside was horrified to hear what we were going through, or we confided in someone and they explained that we were being mistreated. Maybe you saw something online that categorized things you experience as trauma, and you realized what you’ve been through is not okay after all. Once you become aware that you have experienced long term trauma or abuse, your life may feel harder.. You may feel shocked, and desperate to go back to the time before you knew it was abuse. You may grapple with the fact that your abuser IS an abuser for years to come. This is a hard phase in the healing journey that can lead to extreme feelings, intense sadness and fear, and anger at the world. You have just realized you were not kept safe and your needs were not met. Your trust in others may be fundamentally broken. This phase doesn’t last forever. Coming to terms with your trauma is a part of healing. Stay strong and know you are not alone if you are in the first part, the discovery and initial pain. You are not alone and it will get better. • • • • • • #cptsd #complexptsd #complexptsdrecovery #trauma #traumarecovery #ptsd #abuse #lifeafterabuse #lifeaftertrauma #suicidalideations #dissociation #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalabuse #childabuse #abuseawareness #healingquotes #healingtrauma #cptsdhealing https://www.instagram.com/p/B2mtvXQg4_1/?igshid=1aqefefqlpl7w

[hanalasagal]

36th #sober #December 💥 #hohoho #merry #happy #sobersunday #lifeafterabuse #selfiesunday #sundaymorning #sundaythoughts #selfie #sundayvibes✨ #soberfitness #gymrat #holidays (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B50WdkkpHJ7/?igshid=7s3qq9btt8uq

[borealis-sky-blog]

Unsure

I am not 100% sure of my intent on this page. I guess it is mostly just to get out the words I struggle to say. I am still trying to find the correct therapist for me, and I have a decent support system in my life at the moment... Yet there are some things I just don’t know how to say to these people. I spent a year in a very toxic and abusive relationship, and I’m finding myself having to reteach my brain how to correctly and healthily live every day. It’s a constant battle of the lies he fed me to believe as truths and the actual real-life facts. Most days I feel like I am drowning and I will never be able to breathe again, but I have to remember that I am stronger than what he put me through. I guess I’ll be using this page to finally be completely honest about everything I went through. To help myself heal more, and figure out who I am now.  I don’t even know if anyone will ever come across this, or read it. But if someone does, I hope it’s because they needed to hear these words and that it helps them. I don’t ever want anyone else to go through what I went through. I’ll write here as often as I can manage to, but some of it still hurts to admit. But this is my story.

[usmccarter]

#Repost @survivors.united • • • • • • Self care 🧡 #selfcare #knowyourworth #inspiration #lifeafterabuse #selfrespect #selfconfidence #lookforward #dontlookback #survivor #breakthecycle #healing #positivevibes #empowered #nevergiveup #fightwinsurvive #loveyourself #believeinyourself #godhasgreatplans #hope #peace #thrive #innerstrength #ichooseme #newlife #newbeginnings #domesticviolence #survivor #narcissist #narcissism #sociopath #priorities https://www.instagram.com/p/B1r6GUMgPZ6/?igshid=1p4iox5uu95wu

[katierenae]

Rebuilding a life can be scary, but with the right man by your side anything is possible. I’ll Definitely be using this blog more. I need an outlet. Here it is. 👑

[ravven003]

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. For me, trying to talk to someone about what I was going through felt next to impossible. My depression and anxiety made me feel so isolated and alone. But it doesn't have to be that way. Don't let yourself be overcome by your sadness, reach out to a friend, a family member, even a stranger. There is always hope, there is always something better. ❤🌱 #poetry #poet #poeticawareness #poetsoninstagram #indieauthior #selfpublished #lifeafterabuse #DomesticViolence #awareness #honesty #reality #depression #anxiety #ptsdrecovery #endthestigma #bethechange #mentalhealth #awarenessmonth #notalone #iamravven https://www.instagram.com/p/BxfqxYdFF8G/?igshid=1fdbfk2ep3hgz

[elizabethburnsrowe-blog]

Real love #love #lover #loveyou #reallove❤️ #loveofmylife #reallifefairytale #lifeafterabuse #loveafterabuse #loveafterabuseispossible https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu6h0v_hQAh/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1rd69wwje1ple

[lifeafternarc-blog]

I had so much unresolved #spiritual and emotional “business” at the time I ended up involved with the ridiculous #narcissist abuser. I didn’t know it at the time. But I did. . . . A few words I’d use to describe the old me: Naive. Inexperienced. Shockingly tolerant of dysfunction. Gullible. Overly trusting. Shaky boundaries. Seeking validation. Seeking permission. People pleasing. No idea of her power at all. . . . I am glad the abuser only got to experience the unfinished version of me & that I stepped into my power & wholeness *after* I was well rid of him & #narcissistfree. . . . How about you? . . . #loveafternarcissisticabuse #selfactualisation #wholeagain #selfrealisation #healingfromabuse #souljourney #empaths #peoplepleasers #boundaries #personalgrowth #narcissisticabuse #lifeafterabuse #lifeafternarc https://www.instagram.com/p/BsiyEUsnMRy/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1uomwztvmrze1

[lifeafteratrap-blog]

Dating wolves

I cant date again. I can't date again because I know myself. I know that when she smiles kindly. caresses my cheek and glides her fingers through my hair that the reaction I so badly want wont be the one I will have. I will become an animal trapped in a cage. I know I will because I know myself. I will begin to wonder when her character will switch. I will try to look for any form of red flag. I will find all the ones that aren't there. I wont let myself be deceived like I was the first time. So I can't date. I can't date because everyone is still a wolf in sheep clothing. I can't date again because I know myself.

[markiewilliamsfitness-blog]

Not a recent photo, I haven’t done any shoots in a while so I need to book some soon but feel like this one captures my current feeling and FOCUS on the upcoming competitions (oh, did I just say “Competitions” plural?? 😮keep reading 😉). Guys, it’s kinda crazy because this prep has come together twice as quickly as my preps last year, despite the rocky start due to everything going on in my life including a big career change into real estate, which has been AMAZING btw!!😄 So What has changed that is resulting in my prep going so well? Couple key things I’d say, better work schedule which has allowed me to focus more on training, supplements sponsored by City Supplements @citysupplements which has helped me with recovery, fatigue and sleeping better, SLEEP - I’ve been getting 8-10 hours a night which in turns helps with recovery. Mentally and emotionally I get stronger every year so that also contributes immensely to a successful prep and allows me to stay focused 1000% on my goal without being tempted by food or other distractions. Don’t get me wrong, prep is TOUGH...! But so am I..💪🏻😊 SO, Competitions...!!! I’ve been talking for a few weeks about NorCal Championships which is in 2 WEEKS!! Also, I have only been telling ppl here and there but haven’t officially announced that I registered last month for Jr Nationals in Chicago!😄🙌🏻🎉 I was back and forth on doing the show at the beginning of prep because I just wasn’t sure how long it was going to take my to get my butt in gear. But I literally said to myself okay Markie, this is it. You’ve started prep, now get yo shit together and get ready for your first National show of 2018 and make it Happen!! And here I am, a little less than 4 weeks out and right on track where I want to be. Life is good guys and I have much to be grateful for 😊🙏🏻 #npc #bikini #npcbikini #npcbikiniprep #npcbikiniathlete #npcbikinicompetitor #survivor #dvsurvivor #lifeafterabuse #spectrumfitnessproductions #athlete #seatte #chicago #jrnationals #teammarkie #markiewilliams #motivation #motivationmonday (at Bellevue, Washington)

[pokingholes-cptsdwarrior]

Reposted from @cptsdsurvivalguide (@get_regrann) - As children, we are hard wired to take care from our parents. We need them for shelter, food, connection, lessons, and love. This is why having abusive parents is so destructive to the developing brain. We must receive food, shelter, and care from the same people who treat us badly, scare us, hurt us, laugh at us. This is confusing to a child’s brain- and we are forced to accept the abusive behavior and fit it into our window of tolerance. By doing so, we often believe we are the problem. To a child’s brain, the caregiver CANNOT be the bad one, because we unconsciously need to stay tied to them to receive care from them. So we decide we must be the problem. If you look at how deeply held the self worth problems go for most adults with C-PTSD, you’ll end up right here. In order to survive, we HAD to turn on ourselves. Children can’t just leave. They can’t just decide an adult is wrong. It’s too confusing, especially when the adult is their parent. If you struggle with feeling worthless and thinking youre bad, you’re not alone. “I’m bad” is the cry of so many child abuse survivors. It isn’t true, but it did develop so you could continue to be sheltered and survive. It’s not your fault. You are good, and you should have always been shown that. • • • • • • • #depression #complexptsd #anxiety #mentalhealthquotes #mentalhealthawareness #cptsd #childabuse #lifeafterabuse #abusiveparents #worthless #trauma #suicidial #depressed #dissociation #complextrauma https://www.instagram.com/p/B11wfYvgfnv/?igshid=1ilp3ycsnj6pn

[jenforjustice]

The next few days I will be talking about #supportsurvivorpreneurs These amazing people have found #lifeafterabuse and turned their pain into empowerment. ❤️💜📚💯⚠️ Meet Amanda! 💜🟣💜 Amanda experienced domestic abuse on all ends as a teen mom. When her daughter was just 15 months old she ended it and later met a wonderful man, who adopted her daughter. She now lives happily married with her daughter, son, and husband. Victims change into survivors, while abusers & narcissists NEVER change. We have the power to live happily and take control over our lives and that’s two things that our abusers can never take from us forever... maybe for a short time, but not forever. -Amanda B. Jaworski Amanda has written, self-published, and marketed her own book call “A DIFFERENT ENDING.” If you’d like to purchase a copy of her book 📚 click on the link or copy and paste in your browser! https://www.amazon.com/Different-Ending-Side-Talked-About/dp/0578766175/ref=nodl_ #DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth #speakupspeaknow #domesticviolence #survivorpreneur #selfpublishedauthor https://www.instagram.com/p/CG6XxKvnBjA/?igshid=vdkpipkyg1xk

[freedom4ewa]

“We Are Not Things” You used my body to satisfy your own needs, telling me to just lay there, telling me to do what you said. Never respecting my body for what it was meant for... LOVE You gave me the opposite of LOVE, you violated the most intimate pieces of me My body used up like Mother Earth, from the inside out It is time to heal this pain, the pain that we are all afraid and ashamed to talk about. The abuse of our most intimate parts... that is a pain that most of us keep to ourselves for the rest of our lives. Do not be ashamed, your body needs and deserves love and nourishment to heal the violation that you did not consent to. Things do not have voices, but we do because WE ARE NOT THINGS P.S. the antique wind up key represents the female uterus #uterus #wearenotthings #sexualabuse #sexualabusesurvivor #blackroses #handmadeceramic #foreverflowers #survivorart #hope #healingmybody #oneofakindart #shareyourstory #intimacy #kindheart #struggleswithintimacy #lifeafterabuse #domesticviolencesurvivor https://www.instagram.com/p/CGoITCMDDvj/?igshid=2diw2tn9ywyf

[iamrockl]

⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #cptsd ★ #emotionalrollercoaster ★ #healingjourney ★ #HTWAC ★ #traumabond ★ #lifeafterabuse ★ #selfesteem ★ #lifeandspiritualcoach ★ #howtowearacrown ★ #depression ★ #anxiety ★ #embracingmydifference ★ #familydynamics ★ #spiritleadme ★ #awakening ★ #HTWACjournal ★ #counselinghelps ★ #iamrockl ★ #ihadamiscarriage ★ #grief ★ #tenacioustherapist ★ #yourenotalone ★ #postpartumdepression ★ #spiritualawakening ★ #embraceyourdifference ★ #emdr ★ via @hashtagexpert https://www.instagram.com/p/CDNgGZolbqS/?igshid=19mw88h931wqd