#like i’m sorry but i think this child was hallucinating. and the man the demon supposedly went in just used it as an excuse to kill his mate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heyiwrotesomethings · 3 years

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Afraid to Love Again

Lady Tamayo x They/Them Reader

A/N: Heyooo. Tamayo is great, but I kind of struggle writing her. I tried anyway though because I love this demon doctor lady. Be prepared for sickness, death and a dash of angst. There is a happy ending though (my delicate heart wouldn’t be able to take it if there wasn’t)! Also, it’s kinda a reincarnation/ soulmate kind of deal but I didn’t really develop that angle too much. And I can’t remember how much of Tamayo’s backstory was discussed in the manga vs the anime so just a heads up on that. It’s not super spoilery or anything (I think you could guess how that went) but just in case I thought I’d let y’all know. Hope you enjoy! Word Count: 6,939

The village had fallen on hard times. Work was scarce, poverty and disease was rampant. Over the past several months, (Y/n) had seen many family, friends and neighbors fall ill and never rise again. Those who had the strength to leave did, and many offered passage to (Y/n) as well. Though they were thankful for the offers of sanctuary, (Y/n) remained in their family home. They converted it into a makeshift hospital and began caring for the people who no longer could take care of themselves.

There were no doctors in their little village. The nearest, (Y/n) heard was days away. They couldn’t risk leaving all of these sick souls without someone to look after them, they would surely be dead before they could get back. If these people, their people, were going to die either way, they wanted to be there to make the process as easy as possible.

(Y/n) had seen more death and sickness than most. They had almost forgotten what it was like to truly live.

“(Y/n)-san?”

(Y/n) paused their movements wiping sweat from an old woman’s body, and turned to the cot behind them.

“Yes, Ichiro?” (Y/n) smiled kindly, though their eyes reflected just how tired they were.

“I don’t feel so good.” The young child coughed harshly.

“I know, I’m sorry. Let me get you some water.”

(Y/n) quickly finished bathing the old woman left behind by her family and tucked her in. (Y/n) suspected she’d be dead before the next morning. The rattling, gurgling breaths were just about the only sign that she wasn’t already gone.

(Y/n) put the rag in a basket to be washed for later, then they retrieved some water for the sick boy. They made their way through the sea of moaning people waiting for death, checking in with the more lucid villagers as they went.

(Y/n) was caring for thirty-seven people in their ancestral home and they did so alone. Any healthy people that remained in the village avoided the plagued building at all costs. It was hard work, keeping all of these people as comfortable as they could. But compared to the seventy people they had started with during those first weeks of winter, it was much more manageable.

“Here you go, drink as much as you can.” (Y/n) spoke softly, helping the boy sit up to receive it.

He took a few sips before spluttering, excess water slipped down his chin. He sniffed and held his throat, curling back into himself.

(Y/n) skimmed their hand over Ichiro’s burning forehead and watched him struggle forlornly.

How much longer would they all have to live in this hell?

(Y/n)’s question, however rhetoric, was answered the next night.

(Y/n) groaned between blinks of sleep. They had fallen asleep while standing, again. The noise that so rudely awakened them sounded like someone was rattling the door of the main entrance.

Who could it be at this hour? Weary travelers? Surely they had a fair choice in vacated homes already. No matter, (Y/n) figured once they caught the full blast of the smell of death permeating the air they would retreat quickly enough.

They approached the door sliding it open with little preamble. Even if the smell wasn’t enough to deter the unwanted guests, surely the look of utter despair (Y/n) wore would scare them off.

“I’m afraid if you came searching for lodging, I cannot take you.” (Y/n) spoke, barely perceiving the two people before them. “There are, however, many empty homes you have passed by that you are more than welcome to help yourselves too. I would recommend to be on your way quickly, sickness is rampant here.”

“That is why I’ve come.”

(Y/n) allowed themself a puzzled face, finally looking at the woman and her stern looking companion more carefully, taking in the delicate beauty of the stranger before them.

“I’m a doctor.”

(Y/n) suddenly felt more awake, staring at the woman with unrestrained hope and awe.

“Really?” They whispered, as if afraid this was all just a dream or a sleep deprived hallucination.

“Are you doubting her?” The young man spoke up sharply.

“Yushirou.” The woman warned, leveling a look at her companion that immediately shut him back up. The woman turned back to (Y/n). The soft, empathetic look in her eyes made (Y/n) feel weak. The softness of her voice as she addressed (Y/n) again made them feel fragile, all the while they shook like a leaf.

“Allow me to evaluate your sick. I’ll do everything I can.”

“Please,” (Y/n) nodded, making room for the pair to enter their home turned sick ward, “even in my wildest dreams I never thought anyone would actually come for us. I’ve tried so hard to save these people, but I am no doctor.”

The woman came forward, gingerly taking (Y/n)’s shaking hands in her own. (Y/n) noted how cold they were but still held on to the offered hands like a lifeline.

“You’ve done well with what you have, your kindness is immeasurable. Sleep now, and leave the rest to us.”

“Who are you?” (Y/n) asked, suddenly feeling as if they were about to collapse. Just hearing those words was like a weight was dropped from their aching shoulders. The woman caught them before they could fall, the young man, Yushirou, let out a strangled noise of displeasure but stayed back.

“You may call me Tamayo.”

***

When (Y/n) awoke, it was still dark. They assumed they must have only slept a few hours. At least, they thought so until they noticed a crack of sunlight shining between the curtains.

(Y/n) held their head in their hands and grimaced. They couldn’t even remember the last time they had slept in their own bed before now. They didn’t even remember how they got there. They sighed. It didn’t matter, they needed to get up and see how everyone was doing. They had already been negligent long enough.

(Y/n) noticed as they walked through the halls that all the curtains were drawn. They found it odd. The curtains were always kept open regularly, (Y/n) couldn’t be bothered to deal with such minor details in the grand scheme of things and they wouldn’t start now. They left the curtains closed and continued on their way.

“What are you doing up already?”

(Y/n) turned, shocked at the clear and present voice. It had been a long time since they heard someone who sounded so strong and healthy. They turned and saw a grumpy boy staring sternly at them.

“Who are you?” (Y/n) asked, holding on to the wall as a dizzy spell passed through them.

“Tsk, get back to bed. You clearly aren’t well.” The boy said.

“Yushirou? Did you find any— oh, awake already? You should rest more.” (Y/n) turned back down the opposite side of the hall and saw the woman who had been in their restless dreams the night before.

“You’re... You’re real?” (Y/n) asked, mostly to themself, peering at the woman with blurred vision.

“Yes,” Tamayo smiled sadly approaching (Y/n), “you don’t need to worry anymore. Yushirou and I are taking care of things. Please, rest.”

“No, wait. I want to help. Please, teach me everything you know.” (Y/n) pleaded, sliding to their knees as they gave out.

“Like you could help anyone like this. You were already way past your limits before. Stay out of Lady Tamayo’s way.” Yushirou stated harshly.

“No need to speak in such a cold manner, Yushirou.” Tamayo scolded lightly before coming to kneel at (Y/n)’s side, rubbing their back. “How about this, you rest until you are back to full health, then you may observe my work. Is this acceptable?”

(Y/n) frowned, but nodded in agreement. “Yes, thank you.”

“Of course. Yushirou, help our host back to their room please.”

Yushirou readily complied, easily picking (Y/n) up and retiring them to their room.

“And stay there this time.” He grumbled.

(Y/n) fell back asleep almost immediately and when they awoke once more, another day had come and gone. They felt a lot better, just hungry. So they got up and made their way back down the hall to see what was left of the foraging they had done a couple days prior. Hopefully, Tamayo and Yushirou were well versed in the plant life of the area and got some more.

They stopped at the sick ward first to see how things were going. Yushirou wasn’t around, but (Y/n) saw Tamayo whispering to a sick man. Whatever she had asked him, he shook his head looking a tad uncomfortable. (Y/n) moved closer and Tamayo turned, like she could sense their presence and offered a tight smile.

“You look much better. How are you feeling?” She asked.

“As good as I can be. How have things been going here?”

“I apologize, we lost three while you slept.” Tamayo informed solemnly.

“You don’t need to apologize. It means the world to us that you care to try at all.” (Y/n) replied, sincerely. “I’m sure you’ve noticed we don’t have very much in value. Not many people would work like this for no incentive.”

“You must be one of them.” Tamayo’s eyes softened, “you could have left, but you stayed with them. You have a kind heart.”

“...Thank you.” (Y/n) rubbed the back of their neck and looked away, feeling heat gather around their cheeks.

“I just realized I don’t know your name.” Tamayo said. “How rude of me to not ask sooner.”

“It’s alright. I haven’t exactly been conscious most of the time you’ve been here.” (Y/n) let out a dry laugh, “I’m (Y/n).”

“Just (Y/n)?” Tamayo blinked.

“If I can call you Tamayo, please call me (Y/n).”

“Very well, (Y/n).” Tamayo smiled. “I have a few more people to visit with at the moment. Would you care to observe?”

“Yes, I—“ (Y/n) stomach growled before they could finish speaking, they held onto their gut, abashed.

“Oh, you haven’t eaten? You should have told me, we must keep you healthy. Come,” Tamayo guided (Y/n) to their own kitchen where Yushirou was watching over a boiling pot.

“Yushirou, when the broth is done give (Y/n) a bowl please.” Tamayo asked.

“I just finished it Tamayo-sama. I’ll get on it right now.”

(Y/n) slurped down the broth with vigor and thanked Yushirou profusely, making him blush and turn away. They fed the rest to the sick. (Y/n) had asked Tamayo and Yushirou why they hadn’t taken any for themselves to which Tamayo replied that they had already eaten not long before (Y/n) had woken up.

After a long day of absorbing any teachings Tamayo had to share, (Y/n) was sent back to bed for the night much to their dismay.

“But, I slept just recently! I can still help!” (Y/n) frowned as Tamayo ushered them back to their room.

“I don’t know if you remember this, but humans are supposed to go to sleep every night. Yushirou and I have everything under control.” Tamayo assured.

“You guys need to sleep sometime too you know.” (Y/n) retorted.

“Don’t worry, we rest in turns.” Tamayo spoke. (Y/n) couldn’t explain why, but they felt as if Tamayo was being a bit deceitful with her words. However, they let her be for now and went back to bed without anymore fuss.

When (Y/n) woke up the next morning, they were surprised to see that some of the people looked much better already. Of course they were still quite ill, but (Y/n) felt hopeful for them. Unfortunately, the man, Jiro, that (Y/n) had seen Tamayo talking to the day before had died sometime in the night. A few others seemed to be not far behind him in that aspect. Still, (Y/n) worked hard and learned everything they could about the medicines Tamayo crafted and how to distribute them.

“Tamayo?” (Y/n) asked one night before being sent back to bed by the motherly woman.

“Yes, (Y/n)?”

“I was just wondering... what made you come through here? Our village hasn’t had outsiders since last spring, if even then.”

“I was simply looking for somewhere quiet to practice my craft. We were passing through when we realized this village was a little, too quite.”

“Mm, yeah... well, you’re welcome to stay. You can even live here forever if you want, I don’t mind.”

“That’s a rather, bold, offer.” Tamayo replied after a short pause. It was then that (Y/n) realized how that may have sounded and got embarrassed.

“I mean, because— sorry if that was weird. I just, it’s nice having you and Yushirou-san around. I can tell your both good people, you know? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable!”

“You didn’t,” Tamayo had a far away look in her eye, but she still reached out to pat (Y/n)’s arm in a gesture of kindness, “I appreciate the sentiment, but it will be best for all of we take our leave once we are done here.”

“I see,” (Y/n) tried to keep the disappointment out of their voice, “we’ll just have to make the most out of the time we do have.”

“I suppose. If that is what you wish.”

Over the next several days (Y/n) noticed several odd little behaviors and happenings in their home. They went out one morning to gather certain plants and herbs for Tamayo and when the came back, they noticed a piece of paper with a strange symbol drawn on it that they had never seen before. They questioned Yushirou about it since he was the first one they saw upon returning.

Yushirou scoffed, saying it was a healing symbol and told (Y/n) under no uncertain terms that they shouldn’t look at it, much less even think about touching it. (Y/n) promised him they wouldn’t and backed away into the kitchen with their basket of herbs and a bead of nervous sweat running down their chin.

They also noticed how neither Tamayo or Yushirou appeared to ever eat or sleep when they were around. Even when (Y/n) made something as light as tea, they were refused by both travelers.

Another oddity was that Yushirou always yelled at (Y/n) for peeking through curtains to see if the sun was shining. For some reason, he and Lady Tamayo did not seem to be fond of the sun. Perhaps they were just light sensitive or burned easily. They both seemed to be very fair skinned. (Y/n) was often sent off alone on errands during the day as well. They didn’t complain though, they were happy to help in anyway they could, even if the doctor and her assistant were a bit odd.

Stranger yet was how Tamayo would speak so softly to the deathly ill who showed no signs of recovery. The soft lilt of Tamayo’s voice was not what (Y/n) found strange, they were quite enamored with its dreamlike quality. It was the soft urgency in which she spoke so quietly that always left (Y/n) curious. They only witnessed such events a few times, but they always had ended with the recipient of Tamayo’s whispered words dead mere hours later.

(Y/n) didn’t fault Tamayo for such coincidences. The good doctor probably knew who would die the second she entered the room that first night. (Y/n) figured she was just giving them some form of solace in their final hours to help them find peace.

It was one night where (Y/n) had woken up with a painful thirst for water when things became... complicated.

“We need to think about leaving soon, Tamayo-sama.” (Y/n) heard Yushirou speak as they neared the kitchen. “You have already gone past your limit of resistance by a few days.”

“I’ll be fine, Yushirou. Soon there will be a good handful of people who will have their strength back. (Y/n) still has much I can teach them... we mustn’t leave just yet.”

“The blood here is diseased and of poor quality, even if you could get some without anyone noticing, it would not be filling enough to do much good. Please my lady, let’s keep moving to the next city like we planned.” Yushirou stressed.

“I can’t Yushirou, not when these people need help that only I can adequately provide. I can go a little longer...”

(Y/n) stood still in the hall as they listened in. Tamayo needed blood? For what, a transfusion? They took a deep breath and entered the room.

“If you need blood—“

The air was suddenly knocked out of their lungs as Yushirou came forward with inhumane speed and knocked (Y/n) hard into the back wall.

“Spying? Why couldn’t you just keep your nose away from where it doesn’t belong!” Yushirou hissed, tightening his hold.

“Yushirou!” Tamayo warned, coming up behind him, willing him to loosen his grip, “don’t hurt them.”

Yushirou clicked his tongue in agitation and allowed (Y/n) to slide to the ground in a fit of gasps and coughs.

Tamayo knelt beside them and checked them over with a worried frown.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n). You aren’t hurt are you?”

(Y/n) took a moment to catch their breath before answering, “I, I don’t think so.” They coughed again, “Damn Yushirou, you are a lot tougher than you look!”

Yushirou growled, but upon seeing the stern look Tamayo leveled at him he backed off and looked away, almost sheepish. He looked more like a scolded guard dog than anything else.

Tamayo turned back to (Y/n) looking forlorn, “How much did you hear?”

“You need blood or you’ll have to leave.” (Y/n) answered honestly, “If you need blood, you can have some of mine... I don’t know if it’s the right type, but if it’s what you need, I’ll be more than happy to give it to you.”

Tamayo shook her head. “(Y/n), I don’t think you understand what you are offering.”

“It’s my blood, I’ll offer it to whomever I please,” (Y/n) staggered back to their feet, “and I want to give it to you. You don’t even need to tell me what for.”

Tamayo scanned (Y/n)’s face before closing her eyes and turning away. She walked towards a nearby window and pulled open the curtains, allowing the full moonlight to glide over her skin and flowery kimono. (Y/n) swallowed thickly, clearing their throat they turned to look out the window as well. The young doctor was bewitchingly beautiful and (Y/n) could not risk missing whatever Tamayo had to say.

“Before you commit yourself to this decision, you must first understand what I am.”

“Tamayo-sama!” Yushirou called out only for Tamayo to raise her hand to call for his silence.

“...What you are?” (Y/n) cocked their head to the side, confused. “You look like a normal person to me.”

“That’s what makes a lot of my kind so dangerous.” Tamayo sighed, her eyes still trained on the moon, “Monsters in human skin. Although there are many who wear their sin in grotesque and prideful ways.”

“I’m not sure what you’re getting at, but it’s not like all humans are great people either. Like how Ichiro’s parents left him here after he got sick and still haven’t wrote back like they promised. Even if you are different from humans as you are claiming, I can’t say that your any worse than the people I know. In fact, I’d say you’re better than a lot of the people I know.” (Y/n) tried to explain.

“I’ve done more evil and unforgivable deeds in my time on this earth than I could ever atone for. Even as I work to do better I know I can’t take back all the harm I’ve caused.” Tamayo shook her head and turned to (Y/n), cupping their cheek with a chilled hand, “I’ve aided in more atrocities than you have years on this planet. Do not let what you’ve seen of me in these short weeks fool you.”

“Okay, so you’re committed to believing your evil and irredeemable, is that right?” (Y/n) grasped the hand at their cheek, holding it in their own, “Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to believe that. I don’t know what you’ve done, but you’re obviously torn up about it. I can’t say someone who was pure evil would think twice about that.”

Tamayo pulled her hand away, cradling it close to her chest and turned back to the window with a slight tremble before whispering, “I’m a demon, (Y/n). I’ve turned Yushirou as well. We get by on blood these days but before then, I have killed and devoured many humans in five hundred years. Tell me now you don’t find me repulsive.”

“I don’t!” (Y/n) spoke immediately and resolutely, surprising the demon doctor and Yushirou to an extent with their resolve. “I don’t know who you were or what you were going through back then, but the Tamayo I know is kind enough to stop in some nowhere village to take care of sick people she doesn't even know while expecting nothing in return. I can’t say my word means very much in the grand scheme of things, but I don’t think you’re a monster. Monsters don’t mourn over their victims. I think you’re a good person Tamayo, worthy of my blood if you’ll just let me give it to you.”

The determined look on (Y/n)’s face made Tamayo feel as if she’d seen a specter from her past. She felt tempted to reach out again but held back, afraid of what, she wouldn’t allow herself to dwell. (Y/n) took her silence as a hesitation and insisted once more, bearing their arm up to the crook of their elbow.

“Take what you two need. Please don’t make me try to do it myself.”

Tamayo closed the distance between them quickly and held (Y/n)’s arms as if she was frightened of them doing something dangerous to themself.

“Yushirou, please get the phlebotomy kit from the travel bag.” Tamayo asked softly.

Yushirou nodded. Though he was not particularly fond of how close his master was to the human, he was glad she would finally be getting some sustenance.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” (Y/n) tried to joke to lighten the mood.

“You can revoke your offer whenever you wish. If you want us to leave you may ask us to do so without fear. I promise you.” Tamayo said, nothing but sincerity in her tone.

“I’ll keep it in mind, but I’ll do no such thing. Now, I hope you don’t think it rude of me for drinking some water myself first before I get you your... beverage. It was the whole reason I was walking through in the first place.” (Y/n) said as they walked across the kitchen and fetched some water.

Tamayo’s lips curled ever so slightly into a wisp of a smile aimed at (Y/n)’s back as they drank.

***

Now that (Y/n) knew they were sheltering a couple of demons, the strange behaviors they had noted prior made more sense and they took them in stride. They loved teasing Tamayo and Yushirou about the quality of their blood. Often making Tamayo flush faintly or earn a quick jab to the chest from Yushirou that was probably harder than he should be hitting a fragile human.

They kept the knowledge of their species to themself, not wanting to stress the sick or endanger Tamayo in some way. They had since learned that the strange papers that were littered around their house were actually some kind of warding seal that Yushirou could produce to keep their presence hidden to outsiders. If all that Tamayo had told (Y/n) about the realness of demons held true, they were surprised that they hadn’t encountered them sooner. Perhaps the constant scent of death and decay had kept them at bay, figuring there was no fresh flesh to tear into.

However, that was all changing now. Of the twenty-six remaining villagers, twenty-five were making marked improvements in their health and many could even walk about the the house without being too fatigued. (Y/n) had smiled so brightly when they saw Ichiro slide out of bed one morning that they had brought a hand to their mouth in delighted shock. They couldn’t remember the last time they had smiled so earnestly. Tamayo had surprised them, taking their hand away from their mouth.

“Let your joy shine through. The light you have to share could lift anyone’s spirits. I know it has lifted mine, so don’t hide please.” Tamayo said kindly.

“Right!” (Y/n) laughed sheepishly as heat crawled up their neck. They were sure Tamayo could hear the blood rushing through their system but thankfully she was polite enough not to comment on it.

“(Y/n)-san, can you take us outside?” One of the other young children asked.

“Mhm, only for a little bit though. Don’t want to over do it now, do we?”

“Tamayo-san, do you want to come?” Ichiro asked hopefully.

“Tamayo-san is very busy. But I’m sure she’ll be happy to read you a story later. Won’t that be nice?” (Y/n) smiled, saving Tamayo from having to come up with an excuse to avoid the brightness of the spring sun.

A small group gathered and slowly made their way outside, blinking hard against the bright sun stinging their eyes. Still, they felt overjoyed. Many never thought they’d make it through the winter so they took in the scenery before them with a range of emotions.

When they returned, (Y/n) helped everyone get settled again. As they did, they noticed Tamayo speaking quietly to the young woman in the corner cot. She had been fighting against the illness for a particularly long time and had been getting worse as of late. Keeping the interaction in mind, (Y/n) made their way to the kitchens to see if Yushirou needed any assistance with lunch. Now that everyone’s appetites were returning they had to produce a bit more than they had in the past.

When everyone was fed, (Y/n) had managed to find Tamayo alone. The doctor had found the old ceremonial tea room and enjoyed the space, so naturally (Y/n) had given her permission to do with it what she liked. (Y/n) knocked and announced themself, waiting for Tamayo to beckon them in before entering.

“(Y/n), does someone need something? Do you need something?” Tamayo asked, momentarily pausing in her herb crushing to look up at them.

“No, everything seems fine right now. Although Kotori does not appear to be doing well at all.” (Y/n) sighed, kneeling across from Tamayo. “...She’s going to die, isn’t she?”

“Yes.” Tamayo nodded solemnly. “I gave her medicine to dull her pain, but she’ll be dead before the next morning. There is nothing more I can do for her.”

“What do you tell them?” (Y/n) asked, “I mean, I’ve noticed how you talk to the dying ones before they pass. What do you say to someone who’s dying like that?”

“Many times they already know the end is near and have accepted it. Many are relieved to know the fighting and pain is almost over for them. What I offer them... is a second chance at life.”

(Y/n)’s eyes narrowed in concentration before shooting back open. “You offered to turn them into demons, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that dangerous?”

“It can be, only if you don’t have someone to look out for you and remind you who you are. I would be there for them as I was for Yushirou of course.” Tamayo assured, though she looked guilty. “You must think it cruel of me to offer this cursed existence.”

“Not at all. Many people fear death. I can especially understand it from a perspective of those who have yet to truly live. As long as they can remember their humanity, I don’t have a problem with it.” (Y/n) smiled, “I’m sure with you to guide them they would be just fine.”

Tamayo blushed and got back to work, grinding her herbs.

“Though I’m surprised, has no one taken up your offer since you got here?”

Tamayo shook her head, but a small smile pulled at her lips, “No. I’m content with their choices though. I think they were all very brave choosing to face the unknown.”

“Speaking of unknown,” (Y/n) mumbled between their fingers as they watched Tamayo carefully scoop her powder into a jar before moving on to the next herb. “Everyone will be more or less back to full health soon... are you still planning on leaving?”

“(Y/n), we’ve already discussed this,” Tamayo frowned, “I was never meant to stay here.”

“But you could.” (Y/n) said, an almost frantic waver in their voice, “you taught me a lot about medicine and how to be a physician, but you’ve quite literally have hundreds of years more experience than I do. Not to mention everyone here loves you, I love you—“ (Y/n) tried to shut themself up but it was too late. As made evident by the roundness of Tamayo’s eyes.

“Oh (Y/n), I’m sorry.” Tamayo said, the pestle held in between her fingers shook.

“Don’t be sorry, just, stay?” (Y/n) stuttered. “You can forget the last part if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“This just further proves that I mustn’t be here.” Tamayo put the pestle down and covered her eyes with her hands.

(Y/n)’s heart ached so much they felt compelled to rub the the spot in an attempt to soothe it. “Is the idea of me loving you really that awful?” They asked, a watery chuckle falling from their lips.

“(Y/n), it’s not that simple.” Tamayo tried to explain, but (Y/n) was already getting up and heading out of the room.

“It’s fine. I’ll try to stay out of your way. Stick around a bit longer for the sake of the village is all I ask.” (Y/n) didn’t wait for an answer. They went to their room and felt numb the rest of the day.

They were jostled out of their upset thoughts by the sound of pounding feet drawing closer and before they could react any further, Yushirou barged in practically foaming at the mouth. (Y/n) was not intimidated by the display however.

“Would it kill you to knock?”

“What have you done to upset Tamayo-sama?” He seethed, his voice a dangerous whisper.

“I’ve momentarily burdened her with my feelings. Don’t worry, once you get on the road again I’m sure she’ll feel much better. And you’ll have her all to yourself again, you must be thrilled.” (Y/n) bitterly informed.

“Don’t speak as if this is no large matter, you’ve left Tamayo-sama very distraught! What did you do? Why was she crying?”

“Crying?” (Y/n) asked, the information chilled them like a sudden torrential rainfall.

“Yes! Now what did you say to her you mongrel? Spit it out!” Yushirou growled, grabbing at the neck of (Y/n)’s clothing to shake them around a bit.

“I kinda... told her I loved her?”

“You what?!” Yushirou bellowed with rage and envy befitting a rival.

“I’m pretty sure you heard me the first time.” (Y/n) still had the gall to tease the demon knowing full well he could think of ten different ways to kill them with one hand tied behind his back.

“You idiot! Don’t you know what she’s been through? And you just think you can say such things and be on your merry way? Honestly, a goddess like her should not have to shed tears for such insolence!”

“What are you talking about?” (Y/n) grunted. The hold Yushirou had them in was very uncomfortable.

“If I tell you, you must never bring this up to Tamayo-sama, and you will apologize right away for your unsavory actions. Do you understand?”

“...yes.” (Y/n) nodded tentatively. Yushirou let go of them and they rubbed at their tender flesh where he had dug in.

“Tamayo-sama was ill once as well,” Yushirou began, observing the books (Y/n) had strewn around the room with a bit of disdain for the mess, “when she was human, she was desperately searching for a cure that would save her from an agonizing death. Then, as fate would have it, one day she met a man who promised her a cure for her ailment. What that man did to her turned her into a demon. It was true that Tamayo-sama was freed from the pains of her illness, but at the cost of everything she held dear. For you see, the man had not explained what she would become and with no way to control herself, she had killed and devoured her husband and children.” Yushirou crossed his arms tightly, “Do you understand now? Can you imagine what that must have been like?”

“I had no idea.” (Y/n) looked down at their feet.

“Yeah, then you come in and— argh! What are you still hanging around for? Go apologize already! You’ve already waited the daylight away, get moving!”

“Okay, I’m going! I’m going!” (Y/n) batted the angry demon away and jogged down the hall. They checked every room until they made it to the sick bay.

They asked around and quickly learned that Tamayo had gone out for a moonlit walk. They thanked the patients and quickly made their way out the door, shutting it tightly behind them.

They looked out from the engawa, scanning the scenery they saw no sign of the demon doctor. Deciding the nearby forest was their best bet, they hopped off of the engawa, bare feet against the grass and dirt, and jogged into the woods.

“Tamayo?” (Y/n) called for her, searching around for any clues to her whereabouts.

They traveled deeper still, teasing the edge of the deep woods where not even the sun could shine through on the brightest of days, much less the soft reflection of the moon. They heard a rustle.

“Tamayo?”

(Y/n) felt the hairs on the neck and arms scrape to attention. Their heart was beating frantically as the noise drew closer. It couldn’t be Tamayo, she surely would have called out in return.

Then, (Y/n) screamed.

They couldn’t remember how they had ended up on the ground. They blinked sluggishly up at the moon only for it to be blocked moments later by a blurry figure. (Y/n) swore they saw swirls of colorful flowers dancing at the corners of their vision. (Y/n) winced and gurgled. Why did their chest hurt so bad, what was this pressure?

“(Y/n), please, tell me what to do. What do you want me to do?” A muffled voice cried, confusing (Y/n).

They tried to take in another breath but it just felt like they were drowning. The voice sounded farther away, but no less pleading, mixed with far away screams and angry yells. Neither of which sounded like they belonged to the figure before them.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

‘For what?’ (Y/n) wondered, the pain had faded greatly. Whatever was happening, it was better than the pain. Perhaps they could go back to sleep now.

And so, they did.

***

When (Y/n) awoke, it was to the soft brushing of knuckles against their hair which was almost immediately drowned out by a ferocious hunger. They bent to snap at the fingers but something had kept them restrained. (Y/n) struggled and growled, the need to tear into flesh was, all too fittingly, consuming them.

“(Y/n), take a little at a time. Control yourself.” The voice beside them gently urged, presenting (Y/n) with a tube. They were highly uninterested at first until the further end of the tube was released from a pinched grip and allowed blood to flow down to their waiting mouth. It wasn’t fresh or hot, but it was better than nothing. After a few minutes of stopping and starting the thick slide of blood, the figure took the tube away all together, causing (Y/n) to growl and hiss with displeasure.

“You will need to learn to pace yourself, the sooner you do, the better.” The soft voice informed, not that (Y/n) really understood them.

(Y/n) wasn’t sure how long this had gone on, but they learned quickly not to bite the hand that feeds you, even if it was only aged blood on the menu.

Then slowly, they felt their brain working overtime. Apparently, there was a lot of information hiding under all of the bloodlust, and (Y/n) thought maybe, just maybe, there was a part of themself that detested those desires for human flesh and bone.

Then one night, it was like a fog had finally rolled out of (Y/n)’s mind and they struggled against their restraints for a whole other reason.

“How did I get here?” They yelled, breathing heavily though they had no real need to breathe at all anymore.

(Y/n) heard the soft patter of footsteps on the matted floor out in the hallway. They were honestly surprised they could hear such a slight noise to begin with.

The door slid open and Tamayo stood there, observing them nervously.

“Tamayo!” (Y/n) sighed in relief, “Where were you? All I remember is going out to look for you. How did I even—“

Tamayo was over in a flash, resting her forehead against (Y/n)’s with her hands cupping their cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed, “I didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t speak for yourself. I should have just tried to make your passing quick and comfortable, but I was selfish. I’m so sorry.”

(Y/n) winced, thinking back hurt, but with that last ‘sorry’, they were back in the moonlit woods, bleeding out with Tamayo above them and Yushirou dismantling the low level demon that had jumped them.

(Y/n) leaned their forehead up to meet Tamayo’s more firmly since their arms and legs were still tightly bound.

“You don’t need to apologize, but I forgive you.” They rasped, drawing more tears from the demon doctor.

“I couldn’t lose you. Not again.”

“What do you mean?” (Y/n) asked, puzzled.

“Do you believe in reincarnation, (Y/n)?”

“I think it’s a nice idea, to be reborn as something new.” (Y/n) shrugged as best as they could.

“When I first came to this village, something pulled me to this old house, and it wasn’t the smell of death and ruin. Something inside me told me this was where I needed to be,” Tamayo ran her thumbs along (Y/n)’s cheekbones, “it all led me to you and though you are unique from any other person I have met in all my years roaming this earth, I feel like I knew you life times ago.”

“I feel like I felt something similar.” (Y/n) whispered, “Something about your eyes just felt so familiar. Do you think...”

“Yes and no,” Tamayo smiled sadly, “I believe my husband had a hand in bringing you to me. You may have the same soul but you are still you’re own person with unique experiences. I like seeing little reminders of him in you, but I’m also growing very fond of who you are on your own.”

“Then, why didn’t you tell me before?” (Y/n) asked.

“Because I was afraid and I had every right to be. I almost lost you again.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Tamayo raised her head to brush a kiss over (Y/n)’s forehead, “Forgiven.”

“...Do you think you could maybe untie me now or...?” (Y/n) asked with a goofy smile on their face.

“Oh, yes, I should do that. So long as you promise to tell me if you ever feel like you’re losing yourself.”

“You have my word, my lady.” (Y/n) replied, leaving Tamayo a bit flustered.

“So, how is everyone?” (Y/n) asked with a stretch, sitting up from the bed.

“They all left for new opportunities in the southeast. I apologize, but Yushirou and I thought it best if they believed you had died. A bear mauling.” Tamayo’s nose crinkled very subtly, but (Y/n) easily saw her displeasure.

“Don’t worry, I understand.” (Y/n) said with a melancholic smile. They leaned over hesitantly and kissed the faint wrinkle of Tamayo’s nose away, making the doctor fall forward to bury her head in (Y/n)’s collarbone.

“I worry that you’re too understanding.” Tamayo commented shyly, earning a laugh from (Y/n) and after another moment of stillness, (Y/n) spoke up again.

“Where is Yushirou anyway?”

“I’m in the kitchen and I can hear ever word you say you blood sucker!” Yushirou yelled, making the doctor and the new demon jump at the volume. “You better get travel ready soon, because you gobbled up the last of our blood supply!”

“Sorry!” (Y/n) called awkwardly, snorting only after Yushirou replied with a handful of sounds that made no sense, but got his grumpiness across.

“Don’t feel too bad. It’s a process Yushirou has endured as well. He was no less needy and feral than you were when I changed him.” Tamayo said.

“Needy and feral,” (Y/n) groaned, “I wish you didn’t have to see me like that.” Tamayo chuckled lightly, raising her head from (Y/n)’s chest to look into their eyes making their breath hitch.

“That hasn’t harmed my image of you at all,” Tamayo kissed their cheek, “you are still the sweet,” a kiss to the other cheek, “selfless,” a kiss to the nose, “person you were before this.”

(Y/n) tentatively raised their hands to cup Tamayo’s cheeks, noting the pale blue hue of their previously clear nails as they did so.

“Forgive me if this comes off as needy, but could I kiss you?” They asked, barely above a whisper.

“Please.” Tamayo responded quickly, pulling in (Y/n) from the back of their neck.

Soft lips glided together, occasionally leaving their target to land sweet pecks elsewhere before diving back in. When they finally drew apart, resting their foreheads together, Tamayo smiled brightly. It was a feeling she hadn’t had since she was human all those years ago.

#kny x reader #kny oneshots #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer oneshots #lady tamayo #lady tamayo x reader #tamayo #tamayo x reader

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ambiguousdisorderken · 3 years

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in your expert opinion what are some of the most destiel-heavy episodes of spn? i stopped watching around season 7 and have no interest in engaging w the plot of the show at all but i’m in the mood for some gay yearning ykwim

Hi anon! Thank you for reaching out to me about this, I’m, no-joke, very flattered. I’d seen a couple posts on this same question, very thorough and detailed lists on Destiel-centric episodes, but at the moment I cannot find any of them, that would’ve answered your request much faster. So, in advance, sorry, my reply is probably coming in extremely late, but I did write this from scratch, so yeah.

Even though storylines in SPN can be very shitty and hollow, I do feel that to get the full Destiel experience -that long-drawn yearning- one would have to watch the entirety of the show, even if Cas isn’t in the episode or if there’s no explicit mention of their relationship/bond because it gives you a better understanding of them as characters and of how their relationship affects the narrative.

Now, you mentioned you stopped around S7, which is completely understandable and justified given the Dick plot game was very weak and, in my opinion, annoying (so little Cas!). I’m going to start listing from S7 in case you want to refresh your SPN before jumping straight into unseen episodes. Also, since you mentioned no interest in the plot and are specifically craving those sweet crumbs of gay yearning, I’ll skip most one-sided / too subtle episodes and cut to the chase.

Lastly, I hate spoiling things, but you’ve probably seen it all on Tumblr. I tried to keep the episodes’ descriptions short, as it might come in useful. Stuck to key words, quotes and/or little comments.

Season 7

7x01 – Meet the New Boss: Godstiel, sincere apology. Cas: “I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.”

7x02 – Hello, Cruel World: Mourning. Trench coat melancholy. The heart-wrenching eulogy: “Dumb son of a bitch.”

7x17 – The Born-Again Identity: Emmanuel!Cas, reunion, longing, hurt.

7x21 – Reading is Fundamental: Honey!Cas, hug, hurt, reunion, that painful SORRY (board game) scene.

7x23 – Survival of the Fittest: Honey!Cas, forgiveness, adorable, wified Cas. Dean hits us with: “Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas!" but also “I'd rather have you, cursed or not.”

Season 8 (this season is so good and Destiel is the driving motor of it, I swear. If you can, watch it complete.)

8x01 – We Need to Talk About Kevin: Dean in Purgatory looking for the angel. Cas is referred to as “your [Dean’s] angel.”

8x02 – What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?: HUG!!!, Purgatory reunion, face touch, very romantic. Monster: “ You'll find your angel there.” // Dean: “Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you.”

8x05 – Blood Brother: Cas vs. Benny cat fight lol. Dean: “Cas... we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.”

8x07 – A Little Slice of Kevin: Cas comes back from Purgatory, but before that Dean starts seeing him in places. Very tragic; hallucinating your dead significant other trope. Has That boner scene. Dean: “I did everything I could to get you out! EVERYTHING!” Cas helps Dean see what truly happened in Purgatory and not his self-altered memories. PACKED!

8x08 – Hunteri Heroici: Hilarious, romantic, intimate. Dean and Cas have an heart to heart. They actually communicate. Cas “I’ll watch over you.”

8x10 Torn and Frayed: They work a case together, and when I say heart eyes…

8x17 – Goodbye Stranger: THIS. EPISODE. Dean “I need you.”

8x19 – Taxi Driver: Separation. Naomi to Dean: "You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty; I only wish he felt the same way."

8x22 – Clip Show: Lack of trust, hurt, tense interactions. Romantic too (basically, Cas gets Dean an apology basket).

8x23 – Sacrifice: Meaningful conversation and a gay couple hit by Cupid parallel. Dean “So this is it? E.T goes home?"

Season 9

9x01 – I think I’m Gonna Like it Here: Dean prays to Cas IN.A.CHAPEL. Worry, longing, separation. Dean “Please, man, I need you here.”

9x03 – I’m No Angel: Human!Cas and jealous!Dean.

9x06 – Heaven Can’t Wait: Human!Cas TEXT-BOOK LONGING. GAY AS FUCK. Gazing, touching, they even TALK (for real).

9x09 – Holy Terror: Adorable Cas, flirty vibes, happyish, funny. Cas: “Cas is back in town!”

9x10 – Road Trip: Cas comforts Dean, Cas and Crowley bitching at each other, overall protective!Cas.

9x18 – Metafiction. Cas finds out about the Mark of Cain.

9x21 – King of the Damned: Hug, strong boyfriends vibes.

9x22 – Stairway to Heaven: Cas gives up an entire army, for Dean. Metatron about Cas “He's in love………………………. with humanity.”

9x23 – Do You Believe in Miracles?: At this point, it’s canon stated that Cas will do anything and lose everything if that means saving Dean. Metatron to Cas “You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right?”

Season 10

10x01 – Black: Demon!Dean and sick/brokenhearted Cas in a slutty robe missing his man.

10x03 – Soul Survivor: ICONIC. Angel on Demon action! Cas turns down Hannah because he’s too gay and in love. Intimate Deancas talk.

10x05 – Fan Fiction: No Cas, but Destiel references.

10x09 – The Things We Left Behind: That.Lunch.Date. Deancas introduction to co-parenting.

10x14 – The Executioner’s Song: We get Daddy Murder aka Cain. This is a Pivotal episode to understand Dean’s character development. Plus, it has Deancas interactions.

10x16 – Paint It Black: No Cas, but Dean opens up in confessionary; repressed BISEXUAL AS FUCK.

10x18 – Book of the Damned: Charlie meets Cas. Gay energies everywhere. Cute domestic little scene.

10x20 – Angel Heart: PARENTING! Essential to understand Cas from this point forward.

10x22 – The Prisoner: Just… just watch it. One of THEE Destiel episodes.

10x23 – Brother’s Keeper: No Deancas interactions but it’s the finale, and I recommend watching it because next season takes off literally right from here. No time jumps.

Season 11

11x02 – Form and Void: Could skip to the very end which is when Cas comes back.

11x03 – The Bad Seed: Cursed!Cas. Dean takes care of him, even wraps him in a blanket. He also cradles his face. Extreme Hurt/Comfort. Jacting joices rejoice.

11x10 – The Devil in the Details: Could skip but has Casifer in it. Interesting to see his dynamic with Dean.

11x18 – Hell’s Angel: Casifer. Dean "It? It's not an it, Sam, it's Cas!"

11x23 – Alpha and Omega: Huggg! Cas willing to go on a guaranteed suicide mission with Dean. Very tender and sad.

Season 12

12x02 – Keep Calm and Carry On: ANOTHER HUG! Dean presents his boyfriend to his mom<3 Soft and romantic.

12x09 – First Blood: Reunion hug<3, Cas pining… as in he counts his every minute without Dean.

12x10 – Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Direct parallel with canon couple. Crystal-clear mutual affection. One of the best. Angel Ishim to Cas about Dean “I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own… by cutting it out.”

12x12 – Stuck in the Middle with You: A dying Cas confesses his love. “I love you. I love all of you.”

12x19 – The Future: We find out Dean gave Cas a MIXTAPE!!! Very romantic and full of yearning, also worry and what could be seen as a betrayal (ish…).

12x23 – All Along the Watch Tower: Hands down, one of the most distressing Destiel episodes. Cas dies.

Season 13

13x01 – Lost and Found: This is the worst because you have Dean trying to assimilate Cas’ death. Core of Dean’s widow’s arc. Jack introduction, that’s their new kid.

13x02 – The Rising Son: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?).

13x03 – Patience: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?). Dean to Sam “He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!”

13x04 – The Big Empty: Continuation of widow’s arc and Cas wakes up in the Empty. The Empty to Cas: "I know who you love. There's nothing for you back there." // Dean to Sam “I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.”

13x05 – Advanced Thanatology: Suicidal and hopeless Dean gets his win. Cas comes back. Gives me the chills.

13x06 – Tombstone: COWBOY BOYFRIENDS!

13x14 – Good Intentions: Happy and fun Destiel scene. So Very Married.

13x23 – Let The Good Times Roll: Season finale, Dean talks about retiring (plans include Cas of course) and just very nice to see them interact.

Season 14

14x03 – The Scar: Reunion.

14x08 – Byzantium: Deanand Cas dealing with their child’s death, then bringing him back by Cas making a deal with the Empty. IMPORTANT EPISODE.

14x09 – The Spear: Cas uses the royal We – married behavior.

14x10 – Nihilism: Dean is stuck in his own mind, and Cas and Sam try to bring him back. Cas “Please, you have to -- you have to try to remember, because the people in your life -- in your real life, out there -- we need you to come back.”

14x12 – Prophet and Loss: Dean gets his very own Dr. Sexy, aka Dr. Cas.

14x14 – Ouroboros: Basically another date (their kid tags along) and They TALK. Very intimate and established marriage vibes.

14x18 – Absence: Shits starts to go south. [ Dean: “Who cares what Jack said? We don't know what happened! But I swear, if he did something to her, if she is -- (points to Castiel) Then you're dead to me. (Castiel looks crushed after Dean says that).]

14x20 – Moriah: Tense and very upsetting. Relationship very damaged.

Season 15 (I would advise watching the entire season because it relies heavily on Destiel. They’re the heart and the emotional motor leading the plot onwards.)

15x01 – Back and To The Future: Deancas’ in the aftermath of their kid’s death. Tension gets worse.

15x02 – Raising Hell: Tension rises, this is very intense. Cas “Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.”

15x03 – The Rupture: Breaking point ends in divorce.

15x06 – Golden Time: Painful phone call which speaks volumes about the current state of their relationship at the time. Also, good to see where they’re standing and how they’re coping.

15x08 – Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven: Strained relationship so obvious they’re offered couples’ therapy.

15x09 – The Trap: MASTERPIECE. Back to Purgatory. Can (and is) taken as Dean’s love confession (because it is).

15x12 – Galaxy Brain: So married. Little domestic date, you can see LOVE written in their faces.

15x13 – Destiny’s Child: AU!Dean and Sam. Not a yearning episode per se, but AU!Dean? SO GAY.

15x17 – Unity: God reveals that the only act of free will in any universe he ever created has been Cas choosing Dean.

15x18 – Despair: Cas confesses his love to Dean.

#Anonymous #thanks for coming to my ted talk #im posting this at 2:30 am so i'll most likely reblog it at a more reasonable hour ..in case anon is closer to my time zone #why am i even saying this..im sleepy #destiel #answered #destiel episode guide #there might be number/name mistakes because again sleepish.forgive me #long post

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chitto · 3 years

Text

I Analyzed All Of the Songs on Ranboo’s Lore Playlist and Here’s What I Learned.

We can pick a few themes out from the songs:

Time

Fighting something inside of you

Alluding to a villain arc

Transition of a person

My biggest theory from all this is that c!Ranboo is a time traveler from the future (probably before Mizu but after the Haunted Mansion). He traveled to the past, November 27th specifically, to stop c!Tommy’s exile. We can assume that in c!Ranboo’s future, c!Tommy burned down c!George’s house by himself but when c!Ranboo went back, he got caught up in it, thus creating a time paradox. (Evidence from the songs Merry-Go-Round of Life, all songs of Hawaii - Part Two by Miracle Musical, and The Ruler of Everything). Now knowing he is the cause of c!Tommy’s exile, c!Ranboo feels immense amounts of guilt for his actions, the regret keeping him up at night (Ain’t No Rest for The Wicked). This mental stress is something that has resulted in the beginnings of insanity for c!Ranboo (The Mind Electric).

A villain arc is very plausible for c!Ranboo in the near future, most likely brought up by harm coming to c!Tubbo or Michael (Killer Queen, Mr. Bad Guy, I Can’t Decide, Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked, and Live and Let Die)

Full Analysis on Each Song Under the Cut:

(All Song Lyric Analysis Credits go to the wonderful people on genius, I merely fit them into the context of the DreamSmp and c!Ranboo)

Prologue (StarKid) - A simple ticking clock. ARG trailer tie in as well as even more references of time.

Introduction to the Snow (Miracle Musical) - Comes off an album that (storywise) has the listener loop over and over the songs in the album, as a time paradox.

Dream Sweet in Sea Major (Miracle Musical) - Final song in the album (loops). Occurs in three movements. Tells the story of a sailor that gives himself up to the mermaids. Lyrics don’t give much in terms of hints at anything.

Turn the Lights Off (Tally Hall) - About a journey through puberty and adolescence (??) perhaps could be changed to fit. However main name of the song is meant to convey accepting differences and confronting fears, something c!Ranboo doesn’t really do. First line also says ‘Don’t go in there, you’ll become one, Freaky creatures, monster party’ perhaps relating to the enderwalk/possession c!Ranboo goes through.

The Mind Electric (Miracle Musical) - The song starts off in reverse, the singer speaking backwards. Once the song straightens out, we’re shown that the protagonist of the song is a mentally unstable man trying to figure out what triggers a specific fear. The second verse then goes into a young child who’s been held trial for insanity. The child and the judge then have an open dialogue throughout the rest of the verse until the child is sent to an asylum. The song concludes with insane yet peaceful thoughts from the child. Obviously I’m not a psychiatrist but doing some light research into insanity (NOT psychosis, as insanity is more of an umbrella term for unstable mental state while psychosis is a specified disorder) you can see a few signs of insanity that could be applied to c!Ranboo. ‘Denial of obvious problems’ Many times c! Ranboo has dismissed or downplayed his issues and problems, most notably when he’s found in a panicked state by c!Sam who asks him if he’s okay, to which c!Ranboo replies that he’s fine. ‘Delusions or Hallucinations’ this is a big one as throughout the Doomsday arc, c!Ranboo spoke to c!Dream in his panic room, only to realize he was talking to no one. ‘Dramatic changes in sleeping habits’ This is more of a reach as we have no actually confirmation but it could be assumed that c!Ranboo’s enderwalking could be disrupting his sleep patterns.

Live and Let Die (Paul McCartney) - a song about a once young person who used to say ‘Live and Let Live’ but has now changed their maxim to ‘Live and Let Die’. Could be said that as people grow older they grow more cynical. Granted the phrases mean the same thing but one seems much more pessimistic.

The Ruler of Everything (Tally Hall) - Once again a song about time, the entire song meant to symbolize how time controls our lives (once again feeding into a time paradox theory). The song has a verse that is a man and Time itself singing. The song then starts to speed up, representing how short periods of our lives can be in the grand scheme of things. ‘Do you understand that mechanical hands are the ruler of everything’ This lyric of the song is meant to mean that time (the mechanical hands of the clock) are at the root of everything, once again drawing us back to a time motif with Ranboo’s character. This specific line could lead us to believe that c!Ranboo is being ‘controlled’ by time, aka perhaps caught in a time travelers loop.

Merry-Go-Round Of Life (Howl’s Moving Castle OST) - While the song itself is an instrumental without words, one could do some digging into the story of Howl’s Moving Castle, spoilers for the film in this analysis. In Howl’s Moving Castle, there is a sequence in which Sophie goes back in time to find Howl, seeing him as a young boy. She calls out to him, telling him to find her in the future, before getting taken back to her time. It seems pretty insignificant until you remember that in the beginning of the film, during Howl and Sophie’s first interaction he says to her, “There you are, sweetheart, sorry I’m late. I was looking everywhere.” thus representing that Howl has been looking for Sophie his entire life after she called out to him in the past. So what does this mean for c!Ranboo? Well its just more time motif and even more time paradox themes. But what even is a time paradox? A time paradox is when somebody who has traveled back in time, becomes a part of the past and causes the events they set out to stop in the first place. Perhaps this means c!Ranboo traveled back in time to stop c!Tommy’s exile, as it was a catalyst event that resulted in many problems on the server (L’manberg’s second destruction to name one) before getting sucked into the events that caused it himself.

Killer Queen (Queen) - Really can’t say too much for this song as the song is meant to convey how “that classy people can be whores as well” (Freddie Mercury). Freddie also said that anyone else could call their own interpretations of the song as well. I can’t really think of too much about the song that could be molded to c!Ranboo.

Mr. Bad Guy (Freddie Mercury) - This one is more interesting as the bridge of this song details how Freddie is ‘Mr. Bad Guy’ and that he can ruin people’s lives and many people are afraid of him. This could sound like something c!Ranboo would say in relation to someone trying to threaten the people he cares about. c!Ranboo going to any length for those he cares about (most notably his family) is something that recently cc!Ranboo has tried to drive home, making it a tweet under his character’s lore thread on twitter.

Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked (Cage the Elephant) - The main line of this song is a bible verse that means that those who are sin-free can sleep well at night knowing they haven’t done anything wrong but those are commit sins need to keep one eye open at all times. Perhaps c!Ranboo believes that he has done something wrong that keeps him up at night. It could be tied back to the time paradox theory by saying that c!Ranboo is kept up at night by the fact that he couldn’t stop the bad events from happening, even becoming a part of them.

The Bidding (Tally Hall) - While the song itself is about an auction in which men are trying to “sell” themselves to a woman, I would like to call attention to one specific verse. ‘I’ve been training like a Pavlov dog, Let my independence out to take a hike, All you gotta do is activate my bell, and I’ll fetch you anything you like’. The first lyric calls reference to Ivan Pavlov, who ran a conditioning experiment on dogs, training them to associate the sound of a bell with food, whether they actually got food or not. The last two lyrics I find particularly interesting as we have seen somebody “activate” c!Ranboo. c!Sapnap. After c!Sapnap visited c!Dream in prison, c!Dream asked c!Sapnap to deliver a message to c!Ranboo. The message being ‘:)’. When c!Sapnap repeated the message to c!Ranboo, c!Ranboo immediately switched and began to speak in enderman language before wandering off. He then spoke to c!Sapnap in chat saying, in ender, “Doomed are those who try to run, for it always catches up eventually :)’. This is one of many incidents of c!Ranboo being switched into his enderwalk state, in which he does stuff for c!Dream such as burning down the community house.

I Can’t Decide (Scissor Sisters) - This song is a upbeat song about a psychotic killer trying to decide on whether or not he should kill his victim. This song could relate back to c!Ranboo’s relationship with c!Dream. c!Ranboo has been very cagey on whether or not he would like c!Dream, most recently being very eager to break into prison and murder him. This song could also hint towards a possible villain arc for c!Ranboo.

Stardust Crusaders (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures OST) - Unfortunately, this song is another instrumental. And even more unfortunately, I don’t watch JJBA so I can’t comment on what the song could be alluding to. Stardust Crusaders is the name of an arc of the show but reading through the plot summary on Wikipedia doesn’t turn back anything that could be tied to c!Ranboo.

A Mask of My Own Face (Lemon Demon) - While the song itself is relatively simple, a man singing about how he wants to wear a mask of his own face to confuse people, a few lines have sparked certain people to examine the song deeper coming to the conclusion that the singer wants to cause chaos and controversy. The mask of his own face would allow him to mask his identity, as no one would wear a mask of their own face, while still allowing him to be associated with the chaos. For c!Ranboo I can’t really see this pointing to anything but the Syndicate. c!Ranboo really does believe in their core value of dismantling the things on the server that are bad but also he knows many people he’s close to who are at odds with members of the Syndicate, most notable c!Tubbo. However this could be rather lose as cc!Ranboo is a big fan of Lemon Demon and who hasn’t put a song from their favorite artist on a playlist even though the vibe doesn’t necessarily fit.

Stranded Lullaby (Miracle Musical) - Another song of the Miracle Musical album Hawaii - Part Two, which loops itself over within the story. This particular song is about a sailor sailing through a cerebral ocean, which may or may not represent time itself; the sailor being a time traveler who had a mistake in his time traveling. This once again brings us back to the theory of c!Ranboo as a time traveler. There is also a line I would like to call upon, ‘Aimless thoughts and papers blown around, A million moments meant remembered rest in deep dark sound’. These lyrics are meant to relate to memories and how truly fleeting some may be, just papers floating in our brains eventually lost to time. This obviously can relate back to c!Ranboo’s memory problems, which are a known side effect of time travel, as told to us through the story of c!Karl, the only other time traveler on the server (excluding c!Connor who is only theorized as a time traveler for right now).

Hidden In The Sand (Tally Hall) - This is slightly complicated as the song has two meanings. On the surface, the song is about a man who falls in love with a woman who leaves him, however the man is still in love with her. But in the music video, a new meaning can be found. The music video shows a cruise full of people, all very nice and kind until the ship begins to sink and the real, selfish, sides of the people is revealed. ‘Hidden in the Sand’ is meant to symbolize that a persons true nature is covered up by their outward acts and personality. This could apply to c!Ranboo, as he is outwardly very polite and gentle, growing attached to every animal he finds and refusing to kill any Enderman but he could have a whole other personality to him that we don’t know about. If songs such as ‘I Can’t Decide’ and ‘Mr. Bad Guy’ are any hints, we could theorize that c!Ranboo has a secret dark side to him that could be exposed in the events of his family being threatened.

Now I’m Here (Queen) - No statements or theories about what the song means or any of the lyrics.

& (Tally Hall) - This song, as with others off this particular album, deal with opposites. The whole chorus of this song is about certain opposites such as dark and light or cold and hot. Relating back to c!Ranboo, perhaps this song is meant to tell us that c!Ranboo is a foil of a certain character. Possibilities could be c!Dream and c!Ranboo, as c!Dream is very against attachments towards things and is a very outwardly violent person while c!Ranboo is attached to almost every animal and enderman (not to mention c!Tubbo and Michael) and is a very peaceful person, or perhaps c!Ranboo and c!Karl, the two time (theorized) travelers on the server. c!Karl has a stronger control over his abilities and seems to retain most of his memory fairly well so far while c!Ranboo perhaps can’t control his power and has short term memory loss and can’t remember where he came from.

I’m Gonna Win (Rob Cantor) - This song is a description of a fight between the singer and his inner demons, the fight resulting in very physical injuries for the singer. This can relate back to c!Ranboo, as he could be fighting the demons of his enderwalking state. This song has a very cheerful outlook on the fight however, as the singer is very confident in his abilities and knows he will win. c!Ranboo isn’t always the most positive, sometimes believing more in the pessimistic outcome but this could be a new leaf for c!Ranboo or a goal of his to be more positive.

#please rb #this took a very long time #dsmp #dream smp #dreamsmp #ranboo #ranboo dsmp #dsmp ranboo #ranboo lore #c!ranboo #dsmp theory #dsmp analysis #dsmp meta

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dialovers-translations · 3 years

Text

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Kou Route ー Chapter 3

ー The scene starts in cafe Tarte Tatin

Kou: I’m pretty sure it should be around heー ...Ah, there it is!

Yui: You’re right. There’s a cafe here.

Kou: Ah, that table over there is free. Here, this is your seat.

Yui: Yeah!

I wonder what kind of drinks they sell at a cafe in the Demon World?

Kou: Stop! Hold on one second.

Yui: What’s wrong?

Kou: Could you leave our order up to me, perhaps?

Yui: You’ll choose for me?

Kou: Yeah, my picks! Okay?

Yui: I’m happy but...I’d feel bad for just waiting, so I don’t mind going with you?

Kou: It’s fine, don’t worry! This is the man’s task, don’t you think? We’re on a date after all~

I’ll go buy our drinks so you just wait here, okay?

Yui: Yeah...!

ー Kou walks away

Yui: ( I wonder what kind of drinks Kou-kun will bring. I’m a little excited... )

Male Vampire A: Hey, have you heard? Apparently this place’s juice has a little special gimmick.

Female Vampire A: How so?

Male Vampire A: Ever so often, someone will hit ‘jackpot’ (1), suddenly growing a pair of animal ears as they’re enjoying their drink.

Female Vampire A: Eeh, amazing! I can’t wait~!

Yui: ( ...Actually, I might be a little worried after all. )

*TIMESKIP*

ー Kou returns

Kou: Sorry for the wait, M-neko-chan~!

Yui: Welcome back, Kou-kun.

Kou: I bought our drinks. Here, this is yours.

Yui: Thank you.

( I was somewhat concerned but...It looks normal from the outside. )

( However, I feel like it’s a little much? The glass is big too... )

Wait...Hold up...? Say, Kou-kun? Where’s yours?

Kou: I obviously got something for me too. See, right there.

Yui: There?

( As far as I can tell, there’s just this one drink for me though... )

Kou: Fufufu~ ...I can tell you’re confused by that look on your face.

I suppose that even you’ll be able to figure it out once you see this? Ta-dah! Now what could this be~?

Yui: What? ...A straw, right?

Kou: Yes, correct! Now, question time! What shape is it?

Yui: ...A heart?

Kou: Exactly! Two straws are tangled together, forming a heart shape.

No matter how dense you may be, I’m sure you understand now?

Yui: Don’t tell me, you want to share this juice amongst the two of us...!?

Kou: You’re 100% correct! Why not? It seems fun!

Yui: W-Wait! That’s just too embarrassing!

Kou: Eeh? How strange for you to say that. We usually do much more shameful things, don’t you think?

Well, I’m usually the one initiating it~

ー Kou moves closer

Kou: Come on, let’s drink it together?

Yui: Uu...K-Kou-kun, you’re close...!

Kou: I approached on purpose. I mean, if I don’t do this, you avert your gaze right away.

For some reason, I can’t seem to figure out what you’re thinking even by staring at you like this...

However, even if I couldn’t see a thing, I feel as if I would still feel happy just from gazing into your eyes.

Yui: Kou-kun...

Kou: ...That being said, you’ll drink it with me, right? Yui.

Yui: ( ...No fair...! )

Kou: Ah, are you dissatisfied with the straw, perhaps? Would you rather have me feed you mouth-to-mouth?

Yui: No...!

Kou: Fufu, you should have told me sooner then~

I don’t mind. In that case, I’ll directlyーー

Yui: Wait, Kou-kun! Fine! I’ll drink it with the straw!

Kou: No need to be modest~ This straw is embarrassing for you, right?

Yui: It’s totally fine!

( Mouth-to-mouth would be much more embarrassing after all...! )

Kou: Fufu~ I figured you’d say that.

Personally, I would have gladly fed you mouth-to-mouth as well, of course.

Here. You take that side, okay?

Yui: ( It’s embarrassing but...I guess I have no other choice but to make up my resolve. )

( I-It really is embarrassing...!! Kou-kun’s face is so close... )

Kou: ...Fufu~ Say, M-neko-chan? Are you flustered?

Selection

→ A little... (☾)

Yui: A little...

Kou: Why? Because it’s too cliched? Or because...I’m close to you?

Yui: ...B-Both, I guess...

Kou: Fufu, it’s because you’re way too conscious of your surroundings. If you simply focus on the guy in front of you...See? It’s no longer embarrassing, right?

Yui: ( No way...It’s only even more embarrassing...! )

→ Not at all!

Yui: N-Not at all...!

Kou: Heeh, really~? You’ve grown then.

In that case, I guess this just won’t satisfy you anymore? Let me feed it to you mouth-to-mouth after all.

Yui: Wait, that’s...!

Kou: I’m sure it’d be child’s play considering how much you’ve grown? Come on...Move your face a little closer?

Yui: ...No, Kou-kun! I can’t...!

Kou: Fufu, I figured so. It’s because you tried to act tough when you really aren’t, M-neko-chan~

Kou: Geezー You really always stay so innocent.

In that case, I might as well just make your mind go blank...

Yui: Eh? Wait, Kou-kun...!

Vampire child A: Waitー!

Vampire child B: Ahahaha! In your dreams!

Kou: ...What’s this ruckuーー

*THUD*

Yui: Wah...!

ー The drink gets pushed over

*Splash*

Yui: ...! The juice...!

Vampire child A: Ah...

Kou: Ah-aah...All of it spilled on the floor.

...Say, you kids over there? Do you have a minute?

Vampire child A: Shoot! Run, everyone!

Kou: Ah! Hey!!

Vampire child B: Sorry!! Please forgive us since it’s the Carnival!!

ー The kids run away

Kou: Those little brats...!

Yui: Calm down, Kou-kun. They’re just children, you don’t need to get so upset...

Kou: You can’t spoil them! Those who waste food deserve a divine punishment!!

ー Kou runs after them

Yui: Kou-kun!?

Kou: M-neko-chan was finally in the mood to drink it as well! You scoundrels!

Vampire child A: We already said sorry, didn’t we!?

Yui: ...They left...

( Could it be...Does Kou-kun usually get scolded by Ruki-kun for wasting good food...? )

( Either way, I should clean up the glass... )

ー A young Kou walks up to Yui

Yui: ーー Eh...?

( A child...? How long has he been standing there? I didn’t notice him at all. )

( Could he be a friend of those kids from earlier? However, he seems a little different... )

???: ...

Yui: Uhm...What’s wrong?

???: ...

Yui: Are you lost, perhaps? Did you get separated from someone?

???: ...

Yui: ( This is tricky. He won’t respond at all. )

( If I leave the cafe, I might get separated from Kou-kun but...I just can’t leave this child be. )

( Besides, this little one sort of reminds me of Kou-kun... )

Say, would you mind telling me your name?

???: ...

...Kou.

Yui: Eh...?

( Did he just say ‘Kou’...? )

ー The young Kou runs away

Yui: Ah...Wait!!

( I want to chase after him but...If I leave, then I’ll... )

...

( I’m sorry, Kou-kun! I’ll return straight awayーー! )

ー Yui runs after him as the scene shifts to a side street

Yui: ( I’m pretty sure he ran into this direction... )

( ...! There he is...! )

Kou: ...

Yui: ...Kou-kun?

Kou: ...

Yui: Uhm...I’m sorry if this sounds weird but...

Are you...The same Kou-kun I know?

Kou: ...I am.

I am the Kou you know. However...From the past.

Yui: From the past...?

Kou: Exactly. Way, waaay before he met you.

Unlike the guy you know...I’m Kou during the time he was misfortunate.

Yui: ( ...The look in his eyes...Almost as if he is bearing a grudge of some sorts... )

ー Yui has a dizzy spell

Yui: ...!?

( I’m suddenly growing dizzy... )

ー She collapses

*Thud*

Kou: ...

Yui: ( My mind’s going blank... )

Kou: ...Say, Yui?

Yui: ( Ah...Kou-kun’s holding my arm... )

Kou: Let me...suck your blood.

Yui: ...Eh...?

Kou: I’m not a Vampire yet at this time. However...That doesn’t matter.

I’m envious of him...So I want to do the same thing he does.

Yui: Him...?

Kou: Yes, him. ...My grown-up self.

It’s no fair he gets to have everything. Meanwhile I’m still incapable of even trusting someone...

The feeling of wanting to trust others...

Yui: ...!

( No way...He’s biting my arm...!? )

S-Stop...! ...Kou-kun...!

Kou: Yui!!

ー Kou runs up to her

Kou: I finally found you...!

Yui: Kou-kun...?

( I’m slowly regaining my focus... )

( Huh...? The small Kou-kun is gone... )

Kou: Why are you crouched down like that? Do you feel sick, perhaps?

Yui: No...I’m fine. I’m sorry for making you worry.

Kou: For real! You weren’t there when I returned to the cafe...So I looked all over for you.

Yui: Sorry...

Kou: Say, are you really okay? Your complexion is pale. Did something happen?

Yui: Well...

( I doubt he’ll believe me...If I tell him I met up with his childhood self. I barely even believe it myself, to be honest. )

( It might have been just a hallucination. However, the sensation of being bitten felt too real for that... )

Kou: ...Wait.

Yui: Eh?

Kou: That wound on your arm...A bite mark?

Yui: Ah...This is...

Kou: It’s a bite mark, isn’t it? I can’t imagine what else it’d be.

Hah...For real? I take my eyes off you for one second and you’ve had your blood sucked?

Yui: W-Wait, Kou-kun! You’re wrong, this is...

Kou: How am I wrong!? Someone sucked your blood, no!?

...Say, who was it? You happened to run into one of those Sakamaki’s and that’s how it happened? Did you let them because you went with the mood of the festival?

Or was it just a random Vampire passing by? You really are a cat in heat.

Yui: Please, Kou-kun! Listen to me!

Kou: Shut up!

Yui: ...

Kou: ...That shop owner was right back then. You’re keeping secrets from me.

You tempt me with sweet words about ‘picking me’ or ‘loving me’ but you deceived me, didn’t you?

Yui: ...! I didn’t!

Kou: If the only thing you’re looking for is a good-looking Vampire and a pair of fangs to please you...

Could you try asking someone else? There’s plenty of them out there, right? In your close vicinity.

I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be that guy. I...can’t stand that sort of thing.

Yui: ( The look in his eyes...It’s the same as that child from earlier... )

Wait, Kou-kun...!

Kou: ...I won’t wait. I mean, you’re fine with someone other than me too, right?

...See you.

ー Kou walks away

Yui: Kou-kun...!

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) 当たり or ‘atari’ is the term used for a winning lot in lotteries, lucky draws, etc.

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 2

→ PROCEED WITH MAIN STORY [CHAPTER 4]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #1 [W/ REIJI]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #2 [W/ KANATO]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #3 [W/ RUKI]

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #kou mukami #vandead carnival #diabolik lovers translation #vckouchapter3

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everything-laito · 4 years

Text

damn the brain be out here going BRRRRRR here’s the Laito and Cordelia Analysis (with a little bit of Karl sprinkled in) Part III

wow my fingers are freezing but my brain sure isn't!

aaaanyways, iiiiiit’s trauma time!!! Am I a productive member of society by writing these analyses? No. Do I gain anything by writing them? Kinda, my brain gets exercised and they’re fun to research for. But if you haven’t read the first part or the second part for some reason (I recommend reading them in order), there they are.

Once again, trigger warnings still apply; mainly about trauma, isolation, etc

I’m gonna talk about the trauma and effects it had on Laito and to attempt to extrapolate why he is the way he is. I have a lot of examples I want to go over and stuff to talk about, so I think the trauma part is going to be split between two (or maybe three) parts. I also have a little bit to say about Karlheinz.

As always, big ass rant under the cut!

Section 6: Neuroplasticity and Trauma

Oh???? More science vernacular??? You BET! Ok, neuroplasticity. I know I’ve talked about it on this blog. But, I seriously doubt that there is a madlad who has read all of my analyses (speaking of which, I should update the master list lmao) and I don’t expect anyone to do that LOL! Anyways, this neurological concept is the ability of neurons to adapt to certain circumstances or stimuli by creating new neurological pathways (through synapses). This basically relates to memory and learning. It’s why we don’t stay the same person as we grow and develop. It’s responsible from mindset changes to response to traumatic events. It plays a huge part in trauma, which is why “repressed memories” occur as well.

Trauma, taken from Psychology Today, is defined as:

...the experience of severe psychological distress following any terrible or life-threatening event. Sufferers may develop emotional disturbances such as extreme anxiety, anger, sadness, survivor’s guilt, or PTSD.

It’s a basic definition. And although I’d assume people would know what trauma is already, but knowing the lexical definition of something can be good to know before going into it.

Obviously, Laito has trauma, there’s literally no refuting that. But, the point I’m getting at, is the reason why he is the way he is today is because of neuroplasticity. As previously stated, we are going to assume the DL vampire brain works similarly or the same as a human brain. So, because of the stress put upon the brain (Cordelia’s actions and Laito’s general upbringing in a stress filled household), Laito’s brain was rewired (neuroplasticity). This section doesn’t really have much new information, but I wanted to give a baseline since there’s many people who don’t know what neuroplasticity is.

Laito’s definitely different than what he was as a kid. He still kind of had his smarts, and might have been but as we’ve deducted from the first part of this series, he might have been groomed. On top of that, the brain is easily moldable when you’re a child (which is why grooming makes sense for Laito’s case), and continues to snip brain cells off and form new connections.

Section 7: Little intermission about Karlheinz

I know I haven’t really talked about Karlheinz yet. So this will be the section that I do it in. I know this part is about Laito’s trauma, but it’s so hard to not just weave other characters into it. Nothing is stand-alone, which is why it was so hard for me to plan this out. I was debating about saving this for another analysis, but I feel like it fits.

I referenced this in Part II, Section 5 of this analysis series. Basically, Karlheinz throws Laito into the dungeon and locks him up. Not Karlheinz personally, but he ordered someone to do it. We don’t explicitly know why, but there’s several implications. A huge one is that it was part of Karlheinz’ experiment. Before Dark Fate, I was like “wait, so did Karl find out about Laito/Cordelia? And got like jealous or was like ‘nah this shit fucked up no thanks’?” I was really scratching my head on that. But in Dark Fate, you find that Karlheinz knew about Cordelia and Laito, and even really wanted it to happen. Which is all sorts of fucked up. This really put Laito in for a loop. Here’s a scene from Dark Fate:

Laito: That woman always, always believed in Karlheinz. Laito: She believed he married her because he loved her, wanted her. That’s why she was sure that one day... he will give his love only to her. Laito: But she was tricked. She wasn’t loved from the start... Laito: -And I’m a victim of this unbelievable mistake... That’s how it is. Laito: I was treated as a vent for her feelings. Yui: ...Laito-kun... Laito: I’m sure he knew that something like this will happen... He is a god after all... Laito: I was hoping that... He just overlooked it up until now... Laito: But... I was naive. Laito: I was only planned a scapegoat.

God, when I played this, that just freaking struck me to my core. That’s so awful. Ironically... Karlheinz probably has some high level of emotional intelligence. I don’t believe he could be labeled as a sociopath, considering he has this high level understanding of pathos. He’s not god in a sense that he controls everyone individually himself. He’s so good at manipulation that he basically creates fate itself (whether you believe in it or not). He’s generally intelligent and cunning, and it also just helps with the fact that he’s immortal and can time travel. He knows cause and effect by now, and I believe Lost Eden said something about how he’s done so many different “timelines.”

The definition of a god in a philosophical sense can be broken down into three words: omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. More wicked cool jargon! Yay! Here’s what they mean for extra clarification:

Omniscient: All knowing Omnipresent: All seeing Omnipotent: All doing

Sure Karlheinz doesn’t absolutely know everything, nor can see everything, and he definitely has limits to his power, but he has gained knowledge through living for so many years and time traveling; he has familiars which add to the whole “all seeing” part; and he has a lot of power. So basically, in the most semi-”realistic” sense, it would definitely be the closest being to any kind of god.

Karlheinz is probably the reason why Laito himself has such contempt towards religion, and the existence of a god in general. Sure, the boys are like “that shit’s made up by humans” in general, but it would make sense for Laito himself to have that specific hatred. It makes sense that these vampires would be like “oh that’s made up by humans” when they’ve been around forever and have seen multiple religions come and go. (I’m mainly talking about in DL’s lore case, not starting a religious argument; please don’t take it as such––just to clarify)

Section 8: Isolation

Originally, the previous part was going to be about Laito’s isolation being locked up. However, I went off the rails and it turned into that little intermission. This is going to be a shorter section, but I still wanted to talk about, and it will weave into the next section.

There is no implications about how long Laito was locked up (and tortured) in the dungeon. There’s also no implications about why he was tortured. But torture and isolation puts such stress on the brain that there’s definitely going to be some kind of outcome if persisting for a good period of time. So let’s take a look at what that does to a person.

Once again, taking this with a grain of salt. I imagine vampires don’t need to rely on social interaction as much as humans do, considering they live forever. But we don’t know. However, throwing Laito into a state of isolation implies that it would be some type of torture or harsh punishment for a vampire, which therefore implies that social interaction is a necessity for emotional function. It’s just sound, inductive logic.

So now, as for isolation, I’m using this article as reference. It’s a pretty interesting one to read. Here’s another extensive article as well. Basically isolation can cause:

Depression/anxiety

Immune system deficiencies (basically more likely to get physically ill)

Sleep cycle changes (if put underground or with limited natural light)

Hallucinations

Paranoia

Issues with processing information and more susceptible to persuasion/manipulation

We have no clue if Laito’s experience fits all of these. Also, the second one can be crossed out because vampires in DL can’t get physically sick in the way we can. Also, unsure about the sleep cycle stuff considering they are used to being in the dark. Hallucinations and paranoia can’t be crossed off nor proven.

Being isolated physically and mentally exhausts the mind, which is why it’s also a way of torture. Laito implies that he was tortured with physical devices, but regardless, it’s still stress on the mind. This type of stress definitely goes along with what was mentioned with neuroplasticity and trauma, which also supports the last bullet point: issues processing information and being more susceptible to persuasion/manipulation. Take this flashback from Maniac Prologue in HDB that I used in Part II section 5 (but here’s even more context):

Laito: ーー Let me go!! Let me out of here! Butler: I can’t, young lord. We’ve received strict orders from your father. I am deeply sorry, but please stay put for a while. Laito: What’s the point in having me chained up in here!? Butler: ーーI am very sorry. Laito: Hahahaha…You stupid old man! Do you think that this will make repent!? How foolish! That demon! Has his brain finally rotten from spending too much time with humans!? ー Cordelia appears Cordelia: ー Oh? Laito: …!? Have you come to save me? Cordelia: Oh dear. Ufufu…I’m sorry Laito, that isn’t it. Laito: Eh? Richter: ー Why are you here? Laito: …That’s my line. Cordelia: Okay, okay. No fighting! More importantly, Richter…Come here. Laito: …!? Cordelia: Nnn…Hey, Laito. You are a good boy. Laito: …!! Cordelia: Right, Laito? Laito: Yeah, that’s right. I’m…I’m a good boy after all. ーー Besides, I’m the type of person who only get more aroused from this kind of thing.

Although I also use this to support the whole Stockholm syndrome point, this could also be supported with the trauma isolation also holds. His mind is being re-molded into the facade he holds. Also, note the whole “do you think this will make me repent?!” part. Just a very interesting thing. The word “repent” implies that there’s something to feel guilty about or the person knows that what they’ve done is bad. It just goes to show that Laito has some part of guilt or moral compass still in tact.

You can also argue that this scene was when Laito just got locked up, or he’s been here for a while. Either way, he could have also been socially isolated before this too, just hanging around Cordelia like it’s implied when he was a child. Remember the whole not being in bed 9/10 times when he was a child? Yeah, controlled social isolation. We also rarely see Laito with other characters in his flashbacks. I don’t believe we see him with his brothers in any of his flashbacks from what I can recall; he’s usually with Cordelia. Just implies (to me) that he’s around her a lot. And being locked up is also a more extreme case of that, which would mold the brain even more.

I know that was a LOT to process and read. I sure hope this still is cohesive for you all. I’m pretty bad at organizing this kind of stuff; it’s a bit difficult since it all just goes together. Which, kudos on the writers of DL, because that’s just good writing. I was going to put something about gaslighting in this part, but that might be too long, so I’m going to make that a separate part or include it in the next part.

If you have any questions, feel free to just put it in the inbox. I’m planning on making the last part of this series answering all the Laito/Cordelia questions I’ve received, or just general questions pertaining to this analysis in general, whether it be tangential questions or clarifying questions.

Hope you all are still enjoying this ride as much as I am! -Corn

#analysis #diabolik lovers analysis #diabolik lovers #dialovers #dialover #laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #raito sakamaki #sakamaki raito

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hoodedwing · 3 years

Text

Scarred Hands

Summary: Jason helps everyone through bad days.

Characters: Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Bruce, Alfred

Warnings : Major Character Death mentions, breakdowns, mourning over a character, i think there’s swearing too (but all my fics would have some swear in it though)

Additional Notes: Just wanted Dick to lose his shit with Bruce I guess and Jason just tags a long and becomes good ole’ big bro

Word Count: 1,294 words

***

He can't press the button.

It sits nicely in his hand, fitted perfectly. The number pad worn with age and most likely, had seen better days. The screen cover or what was left of it was peeling at the edges.

Damian had a better phone, way better.

Why did he still hold on to this phone then? What was the attraction, the strange magic that pulled him to this point where he his finger is still hovered over the button?

Press # for emergencies

The automated voice message said it again, familiarity burned at the edges. Obviously because Jason was the one who gave him the damn phone.

He gave it to his three other brothers too, not exactly give but rather sneak it into their pockets.

How he'd sneaked it, Damian had no clue.

He had a mission tomorrow which needed his full attention and he had spent the whole week staying up by doing research, compiling evidence and constant patrols.

He was tired, his brain felt heavy, darkness sweetly lingering at the edges. The ceiling light suddenly became brighter and he covered his eyes, with his free arm and hissed.

His hand accidentally presses the button and suddenly he hears a gruff voice, gentle in its own

"Demon spawn?"

Damian whimpers and turns on his side, taking the phone under his head and mumbles.

"Stop it."

"Well you called, what's up?"

He hears Damian sighing and trying to sleep so Jason listens silently. He didn't have to say anything. At one point, Damian really thought Jason had declined the call but his name was still on the caller ID.

Jason listened carefully on the phone, Damian's finally even breathing and soft, imperceptible snores. He almost smiles down at the phone.

"Night."

He whispered softly down the phone and cut it.

Tim is at Wayne Enterprises (WE)

He absolutely fucking hates it right now because a co-worker has picked out some mysterious 'flaws' and explaining to him why she thought the proposal was questionable.

He is this close to losing it while trying to tune out the woman's voice.

"This time frame is too small, I'm afraid they won't have enough time. Considering that there is a gala this evening-"

Oh fuck, there's a gala to go to tonight?

Tim almost jolts. Just to make sure he isn't hallucinating, he sneakily looks at his phone and sees a message reminding him about tonight’s Gala from Alfred.

Right on time, Alfred. Tim thought.

Tim sighs, places a hand on his head as the woman continues with her mock speech. Luckily for him, her phone rang and she left the room.

Tim slid a deadbolt into the damn door after that.

Peace

He blinks and sees the world in double and rubs his eyes again. He lies quietly on the table for awhile.

His hand was in his coast's pocket, he tried to find his phone but accidentally found the other one.

"What-"

Tim quizzically stares at it, trying to make sense of this mess. The phone was old, he knew. Less advanced equalled to less apps to contact from. These kind are favoured by mercenaries or assassins, it was easier to remove your trail, fast.

That meant only one possibility.

Jason

Tim allows a moment to appreciate Jason's skill. How he had slid it into his pocket, he didn't know and he's impressed.

He picks around the phone, trying to figure out whether it was bugged (because Jason is creative, he managed to get Tim to sleep once just by a lethal and calculated mark by a transquilizer.)

His finger accidentally presses #

"Yeah?"

Oh shit, where's the end call button?

"Tim?"

The gruff voice was coloured with a tinge of audible concern, distant sounds of grappling hooks and gunfire was heard.

"Uh-"

Tim has no idea what to say to him, that he accidentally pressed a button because he was too damn curious and could get Jason killed again because his attention is also diverted to him?

"I..I'm so sorry-"

"Bad day, Timmy?"

Okay, now he's also a mind reader. Lazarus does strange things to you.

"No"

"Liar"

He's a polygraph now? I can't believe this

"Timmy, if it's stress at work or there's dead ends, you better drag your ass to the alleyway outside. I'm there."

Tim decides that it wasn't a bad idea, what's the harm in meeting him?

Probably being stabbed by a batarang and becoming a headline Wayne Enterprises CEO found murdered by a child's toy or Timothy Jackson Drake found impaled by a strange contraption, are there aliens coming? Is this a sign?

Tim politely excuses himself and leaves the office, he exits and turns left to walk another ten minutes. People walking by gave him small smiles obviously because he's a business figure.

He walks another ten minutes and reaches the alleyway, he kicks off his pointed dress shoes and sits, resting his feet at one side.

"Those shoes sure hurt, you better buy new ones soon Timbers."

Tim stood up surprised and almost stumbled back, a pair of firm hands grasp around his waist, too tight for his good.

It leaves Tim breathless and he kneels over slightly from the sudden. Jason lifts him slowly and places him on his lap. Tim fumbles and leans his head against Jason's figure and slowly sinks in.

Into the comfort.

He doesn't know he's fallen asleep until he wakes up in his own bed with warm food beside him.

Dick cannot dare.

Dick is supposed to be the glue of the family, he's supposed to be the one that's keeping his shit together.

But he can't.

Bruce is fucking dead, his (adoptive) dad is dead. Gone.

And he can't even get up, he's lying on his bed, absolutely miserable, not even taking calls from Barbara.

In short, he's cut out his entire connection with the world. He's skipped patrol with Tim and Damian for a whole week, he's stopped watching his shows and eating his food.

He's tired.

He doesn't know why, all the energy is sucked out of him. He cannot seem to push himself up.

Not yet.

Until this big lump of human is outside his room and watches him lie in his thoughts. The man seemed familiar.

And he enters.

"Dickie, what the hell?"

Jason puts his hand on Dick, who's eyes are red from a recent bout of crying. He gives Dick a glass of cold water.

"Look at me."

His firm hands grip Dick's leaner muscled shoulders and he reluctantly looks. Jason could see he looks worse up close.

Breakdowns suck, a lot.

"Dick, you gotta move on. I know-"

"You don't know Bruce."

He simply states, eyes staring ahead. He's telling the truth, or maybe not.

Jason had seen the various shades of Bruce. Caring and the next second, colder than ever. So Dick was so, so wrong about his answer.

"Hating someone doesn't mean I don't know him Dick. He meant a lot to you, I'm not invalidating your grief, I need you to grieve properly. You gotta get back someday, Blüdhaven needs some ass kicking."

Dick smiles with tear-stained cheeks and Jason hugs him suddenly, because he's been in the same position before. He's caught himself in a breakdown before but no one ever held the broken pieces while he cried himself to sleep.

He knew how Dick felt.

"Take your time Dickie, I'll take over for you for now till you're okay."

Dick smiles thinly and sits, watching Jason wear back his boots to leave through the window but not without wiping away his fingerprints.

Jason leaves quietly, hoping Dick wouldn't mind his sudden disappearance. He couldn't afford to stay for long.

There's no rest for the weary.

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im-totally-not-an-alien · 4 years

Text

Final Fantasy 7 prompts # 60

1. Sephiroth can speak to Cloud telepathically, even though he's dead. Cloud tells no one

Sephiroth is mostly sassy, but also tends to praise his "Precious puppet"

2. Sephiroth and Cloud were fighting in an abandoned mall in the Midgar ruins when a stray Thundaga activated the old speakers/radio. It started playing the chocobo theme and Sephiroth is greatly amused.

3. Cloud got badly wounded by a monster and the wound refused to heal.

After a week of Tifa fussing over him he wakes up fully healed...with a little ball of purple goo staring at him adoringly.

"Mother!" It called out to him, raising its little goo arms as if asking him to lift it up.

"Tifa!" He yelled, "I'm hallucinating again!"

"On it!"

_____________________

Aka Cloud "gave birth" to an eldrich goo child the size of his fist and isn't sure what to do.

Also

Vincent: Do you"hallucinate" being a mother often?"

Cloud: Fuck you.

Vincent: :)

4. Zack Fair collecting all the dog pokemon

5. Chaos said something rude about Strife.

Cloud punched to the left of him instinctively, causing a little blue black cloud to appear, followed by a smack and Chaos cursing.

Aka Chaos was talking crap and Cloud somehow used his eldrich power to reach into Vincints subconscious just to punch the demon in the face...while not even knowing how or why he did it.

6. Genesis makes a bet with Sephiroth.

If the general can seduce a curtain mysterious spikey haired blond, then he'll eat an entire copy of LOVELESS.

If Sephiroth losses he has to call an emergency assembly for SOLDIER and do a 6 hour long speech about how LOVELESS is the greatest thing ever

Sephiroth gladly accepts.

Post time travel AU

"Who enhanced you and why?" Tseng asked calmly, staring the blond in the face

"More importantly, how?" Professor Hojo asked, never taking his eyes off of the newest specimen.

"I was created by Jenova for Sephiroth. The how is unimportant."

The atmosphere in the interrogation room was tense for a few moments, the silence only broken by the mad scientists sudden laughter. "Perfect! This is perfect! When would you like to meet him?!"

"Immediately." Was the blonds reply. Tseng had an awful feeling in his gut, telling him they shouldn't let the man with the blue cat eyes near thier General.

You could go with psyco Cloud teaming up with Sephiroth. Or...

Cloud was given access to Shinras most vulnerable and important elites just by stating the truth.

He falls back on his Reunion instincts, proving what he said to be true. He always knows what Sephiroth wants or needs and brings it too him without prompting. He appears by his side whenever the silverette thinks of him, startling the poor man too many times to count. He even fought side by side with him, letting the instinct take over so that thier fighting styles blended together fluidly.

He didn't realize until it was too late. Until the instinct became too hard to fight. Until Sephiroth fell in love with the one person who became his everything.

8. Elderich-ified Soldiers. Like Safer Sephiroth, but its Every. Single. SOLDIER. All in thier own unique forms.

9. You know how Sephiroth can kinda possess anyone who holds enough of his cells?

Cloud has a lot of Sephiroths cells.

These cells can be transferred via biological components.

Cloud has kissed Tifa at some point, right?

And its likely that the cells are capable of making copies of themselves like normal cells.

So yeah.

Aka Sephiroth overtaking Tifa and forcing Cloud to kill her.

I'm only slightly sorry.

10. Cat eye au where time traveler Cloud began raising the toddler remnants after giving Vincent a book containing everything he knew about the events of BC, CC, OG, AC, and DoC and sending him on his way.

Cloud raised the three little imps in a cabin, far from civilization. Sadly, this didn't seem to be enough to keep people away.

"Leave."

The silver General simply stared at them. "Are they..." He took a moment to steady himself, his eyes filled with hope as he stared at the three silvered haired children peeking out from behind the blonds legs, "Are they mine?"

11. DoC Cloud wandering through the remains of a mansion in Midgar that was once owned by a deceased SOLDIER named Genesis Rhapsodos. He quickly discovered the redhead was once friends with the Silver General and the man who origanally wielded the buster sword.

The best part? He found a collection of diaries. One of which lead to a secret stash of blackmail material against the Silverette. Who knew Seph looked so good in a dress?

Cloud is cackling.

12. Cloud got turned into a frog. It wasn't so bad until he realized he couldn't turn back.

The trip to Aeriths church was long and embarrassing, even though no one really noticed him.

He didn't expect to see two frogs waiting for him on Lilly pads, "Hey buddy!" Said the purple frog wielding a mini buster sword, "You're late!"

13. Cloud was supposed to go back in time to before Gast found Jenova and stopped everything from happening. How did he end up back under the Nebilheim mansion?

Fortunately, he gets to break out Zack and his past self. He even has the added bonus of adding Vincent to his team early on.

Unfortunately, he doesn't know how to explain his likeness to the cadet in his arms to the suspicious Turk and SOLDIER.

14. An accident occurs that leaves Tifa and Denzel temporarily blind. Cloud becomes incredibly overprotective and all but becomes a seeing eye dog for them.

Unfortunately, this is also when Genesis inflicts catastrophe apon Gaia

(Damn it Gen! You will finish your character arc!)

15. Hojo was in the process of trying to create human/animal hybrids when Time traveler Cloud and Cadet Cloud fell through the roof into the vat of chemicals and mako that was being used for the expirament.

The older blond swam over to the side, before throwing the unconscious cadet that he had been fighting mere moments before onto dry ground.

The time traveler had enough sense left to GTFO with his past self. Slicing through the walls of the lab before Hojo could activate security protocols.

The only problem is that they both had blond cat ears and a matching tail. So much for stealth

#cloud strife #sephiroth #final fantasy 7 story prompts #ff7 #genesis rhapsodos #zack fair #jenova #tifa lockhart #denzel strife #angeal hewley #vincent valentine #hojo #aerith gainsborough #frog #sefikura

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ziracona · 4 years

Note

I once read a theory about white glowing eyes being a sign of a killer being brainwashed/mind controlled, which is why Wraith, Spirit and Deathlinger hunt after survivors even though they have little to no reason to do so. If it's okay, could you please write how they would react if the mind control went off one day and they realised what they were doing the whole time?

Oh yeah! I’ve always considered the Entity-touched eyes to mean the killer has their visual perception of the world intentionally altered, and since Caleb canonically is made to hallucinate and has the same effect on him, considered that more or less confirmed by his chapter. I haven’t heard brainwashed/mind controlled before, but I can give that a go. If I’m remembering correctly, Hillbilly has that as well.

Rin would be horrified. The Entity literally turned her into the thing she hated—into something like her father, who gives in to rage and mutilates and kills innocent people. She’s done the same thing to girls her own age her father did to her, and with no ability to stop it. Realizing she’s been used to do that? It would destroy her. She would be overcome with sorrow and confusion, and terrified, because she has no idea how to stop it, or if it’ll just happen again. And she would be so sorry, but what would you even say to someone you’d done that to? It all suddenly feels so impossible and scary and lost beyond repair. She’s a corpse and a killer, and she’ll never be free, and she’s beyond heartbroken.

Max would be confused. For so long, he’s been fighting off threats and he’s been hooking them because he wants to, right? Because it’s how he warns other people not to come to his home. But suddenly, the control on him is just gone, and it doesn’t make sense anymore. Where is he? How did this happen? What took him, and what is wrong with him to make him think this was normal? The farm is all wrong, and there are barriers he can’t get through, and it hasn’t been new threats—it’s been the same people! Over and over and over again, and he knows he killed them, but they’re back? And why? Why did he hook them? What was the thing in the sky? How did it make him do this? What else has it made him do? What can it make him do? What will it? Is this clarity just for a moment? Is he going to lose it again? And he’s scared then. He’s suddenly bricked up behind the wall, and the thing keeping him chained up is using him for sport he doesn’t want to be a part of, and mocking him, and hurting him, and he can’t beat it. Can’t get free. Can’t save himself. He’s back were he was as a kid, and the PTSD all comes back and hits him like a truck, and he’s terrified, and frenzied, just bashing himself against the barrier to his little cell of a realm, trying to get free, trying to save himself, and he sees it coming to claim him again, and there’s nowhere to run, and he just has to watch it get him.

Caleb is furious. He’s been used, again, and again, and again, his whole life. Every employer of any kind he ever trusted, stabbed him in the back! And it’s happened again. Somehow worse than ever before. This bastard demon monster dragged him from his world, and got in his head, and made him think he was getting revenge. It made him see all these total strangers as men he hated, so he’d be motivated to hurt them for it. It used his rage and his personal quest for vengeance like a dangled carrot, and moved him like a puppet, and he’s furious. He doesn’t really give a damn about the strangers, but he’s mad he was manipulated into giving them the punishment he wanted to give to Bayshore. The Entity was just…going to let him think he was getting that vengeance, forever. Didn’t even give him a real offer, or force him, or break him. It just drugged him. So that he’d do what it wanted, like so many things he’s served before. And he. Is. Angry. He doesn’t know if he’ll be controlled again. He doesn’t know if there’s a way to break it. But he writes what’s going on down in two letters. Leaves one in his jacket for himself to find, in case there is some way for him to break this control and get some god damn revenge if it takes him again, and the other, he takes, ties to a bottle of alcohol, and throws into the Survivors’ campfire area. Hoping one will see it. Because he doesn’t really give a damn about them, and they sure as hell don’t give one about him, but the enemy of your enemy is your friend, and he knows, no matter how much they hate him? They hate the Entity more. And if they can find a way to break its control, he’ll try to help them find a way to make it pay, like he has every boss who betrayed him before it, and it’s a longshot, but it’s all he’s got.

Philip is shattered. He’s spent his whole life just trying to live. Just wanting to be decent. To take no harm, to do no harm. To have just some kind of simple life, where he doesn’t have to fight to be in a small house that’s warm in the winter and cool in the hot season, and where he isn’t afraid he’ll starve, or be murdered on a street corner, and maybe can sometimes afford to go see a movie or buy a new jacket in a store every now and again. And those ambitions were still far too much. Life has seen him fit to suffer since the day he turned six. He lived through the horrors of genocide in his home as a boy, lost people, watched so many die, watched so much senseless and cruel and awful and unfathomable brutality. And he hated it. He wanted, more than anything, to be able to punish the people who burned others alive for no reason at all but a little bit of hate or a little bit of money. He wanted the people who didn’t survive the genocide to have the justice they deserved. But he had no power to do it.

He went to America, following promises of a safer and better life, and he survived, and that was nothing, but nothing was enough. He sometimes bought beers with the little extra money, and he made rent, and the food wasn’t great, but he was not afraid to starve. His job was simple, and he liked it, because he got to repair things. Some cars he crushed, but others he got to fix, and send back out, and as inconsequential as it was, the world was some fraction of a percentage better at night after work he’d done, and that felt good to him. And then he saw blood leaking out of a trunk, and rescued an injured young man from being crushed, only to watch his boss slit the man’s throat and take the life he’d just saved. He was only even able to buy the man an extra ten or so seconds of life. And then found out he’d been used to kill hundreds he hadn’t known existed, hidden in the trunks of cars, and his boss was doing it, like men always had. Killing others senselessly and brutally and mercilessly, for a little bit of hate, or a little bit of money. And so he killed his boss, to avenge the people he’d used his hands to kill. And fled, because no matter if the police or the mob found him first, it was going to be death the moment anyone did. And then the Entity took him. And it’s been years. Years of this quiet, peaceful, silent haze. Buried under so much fog. Hunting shadows, fleeting images of faces he doesn’t remember. What has he been doing? Has he really been aware of it at all? The worst part is he doesn’t know. And the control over him shuts off mid-trial, and suddenly he’s just Philip, just the Philip he’s always been, and he’s standing above a little girl, with her blood on his blade and her friend’s dead body beside her, and she’s cowering, waiting for him to kill her, and he knows he’s going to—he was going to. And he remembers all of. Every moment, like memories. But like memories he wasn’t there for. Like sleep-walking, and waking up, but gaining all the memories your eyes took in while you were asleep.

And he doesn’t understand it. He can’t. He never would have done this. But god, he did—he did. He sees himself doing it. He remembers it. And it wasn’t him, it wasn’t! He doesn’t know how, but it wasn’t! It was like being drugged, no, it was worse. There was something else in him. Moving him, and he was awake, but only a little. Buried beneath it, unable to fight back. Unable to stop it. But forced to be party to all the blood it shed. It made him something he was not, so much more completely and irrevocably and unforgivably than Azarov ever did. And there’s just. There’s no coming back from that. There’s no way to make peace with it! Or get past it! Or anything like that! It’s so beyond over. It breaks his mind. It breaks him. It’s too much to hold. He’s been using the bell. The bell that used to warn there were people coming to kill family when he was a child, and he’s been using it to announce he’s coming to kill, like he was one of the men who would enact genocide for a little bit of hate or a little bit of money. How, how has been doing this? Doing any of it. He killed one seconds ago, and there’s another at his feet now, waiting to die. And he just collapses and holds his head and screams, that muffled, choked scream from vocal chords damaged a little from their complete lack of use. And he doesn’t see anything at all for a minute, except pain and the past and the present and the possible futures, as he tries to bear more pain than is physically possible, and then he’s a little aware of the world again, and the girl is moving. She’s edging towards the sickle he dropped. And he could stop her. But he just stays still and watches her take it, and she closes her fingers around the hilt and shakily shoots to her feet and levels it at him.

Says, “Don’t move!” in a trembling voice.

Of all the things. He was about to murder her, and she’s telling him not to move. Like there’s a way she might offer not to kill him, if he complies. She’s so small. Maybe the smallest in all his memories. Maybe the smallest one there’s ever been here. In another life, she could have been him. Could have been his sister. She could have been the one walking down a road, wishing to kill people like the man who killed a friend. Maybe she’s there, right now. She must be.

He stays kneeled and looks at her for a second with eyes that, for once and only once, are his own deep brown like hers, and not glowing, and then he lowers his head and closes them and says, “Kill me.”

It’s the first thing he’s said in years. It’s the first time in years he’s had a reason to speak. He doesn’t want to take the words back.

She doesn’t. She hesitates. Says, “What?” Lost and confused. He can’t understand why on earth she would hesitate. She shouldn’t.

“I don’t know how long this will last,” he says, opening his eyes and looking up at her again. It’s hard to do. There’s blood matted in her dreads and the little pink shirt she’s wearing, and some of it is fresh, still bleeding, from where he was starting to kill her. “Kill me while you have the chance. Before I become like that again.”

“Before…?” She hesitates again. Trying to figure him out. Trying to do the right thing, somehow, even here and now. “’Like that’—you mean—you don’t…control what you do, as the Wraith? You can’t?”

“I don’t know,” he says in his voice that never speaks. He doesn’t. And he has a deep, troubling feeling, that if he lives, he is not going to remain himself long enough to understand it, either. “But that is not me. Kill me. Before I become it again. … Please,” he adds. It’s harder to get out than the rest. He doesn’t have a right to ask her for anything.

“B-but,” she stutters, suddenly so unready to kill him. She lowers the blade a little and it hurts to see. “If it’s not you—if the Entity uses your body, and you’re just somebody trapped inside, you’re a victim too. I could save you! There might be a way to stop it!”

She’s so desperate to help him. That’s almost enough to kill him on its own.

“Don’t try to save me, child,” he pleads with as much voice as he has left, “Whatever it has done to me, I have done it with it. I am not a thing to be saved. Kill me while you can. Avenge your friend.” She still doesn’t want to. He can see it in her face. She’s worried now—afraid to do the wrong thing. How can something so innocent and kind be left in her after being ripped apart so often in this hell. It’s almost comforting to see it, in spite of everything. There is no longer any hope for him, but if she is still like this, there must still be hope. For them. For other people. It will not always end for people like him like it is for him himself.

“You would be doing me a favor,” he says, because he remembers he doesn’t want her to have a death on her soul, and if she cannot see this as just, she must see it as mercy, or it will scar her too. He hesitates, lost. Thinking about what will happen if she doesn’t. Thinking again about what already has. “I don’t want to be this. Please,” he whispers. He starts crying. Or maybe he was before. He wasn’t aware, but he feels it now. Silent, but his face is cold from the breeze against it in the night air.

“I could save you,” she says again, pleading now too.

And Philip feels the Entity go inside him then. While he’s looking into her eyes. And he knows he’s going to be buried again in a second, and he may never wake back up, may just be trapped forever watching himself murder innocents like he was the kind of man who loved it. And she still has a chance to kill him if she does it now, but he sees her face, and the kindness there, and the worry, and concern for someone she should feel no concern for, and he knows even if he asks her this one last time, she will not do it, and whatever he tries, he only has an instant to do it in before he is gone again, maybe gone for good, and with everything he has of himself left in the second he has remaining, he shouts at her to run.

Also! Since I did Philip’s as a narrative, I’m doing a short one for Rin too, but under the cut. : ) Hope you enjoy these the Philip one made me cry. :’-]

It wasn’t meant to be shut off.

The plan had never been for one of the killers operating under controlled illusion and compulsion to realize what they had been living. Why would it be? That was only going to cause the Entity problems. But blight was an unpredictable biological event, even for the Entity, and this year was a little different even than most. Different, because The Blight himself was tinkering maybe a little too much. The purge this year was deep, and intense, and the killers themselves were more involved than ever, and the system broke. Not for long. More a hiccup, than anything. A burst of static. But it happened, nonetheless.

Rin wasn’t in a trial. She was in the estate, waiting, like she always did between trials. She needed to get home to kill her father. Any day, any minute now, she would get to do it and avenge her mom and be free. She was folding origami cranes. 1,000 of them, and her wish would come true. She would go home, and finish her father, and be at peace. And she was excited. Happy. A stack of paper beside her, and she had been folding for hours. This was 987. So close now, it was in her grasp. “988, 989, 990. 991, 992,” she whispered to herself as she folded cranes, trying to go faster and faster and fumbling a little in her excitement. “993. 994—” A sudden burst of wind came out of nowhere, and the crane in her hands was torn away, and the little pile she had scattered, and as she turned to look after them, vanished into the inky black sky.

She felt her eyes well up with tears. “I was so close,” she whispered to herself, heart sinking. But that’s okay, she tried to tell herself, You were so close in just a few hours. You’ll get it this time. And, consoled, she started again, back to one. Sure she’d get it this time.

She was on number 413 when the Entity’s control was suddenly lost.

Rin faltered, hands halfway to making a fold, and stared at nothing, then slowly looked down at the bird in her hands.

Oh no, she thought, unable to assign any emotion to the thoughts except a vague echo of fear, I’ve done this before. Not once before. Not twice. Not twenty. Thousands. She had done this thousands of times before. And always, always on the nine hundred and ninety-fourth one, they were blown away, and she started again.

How long have I been doing this? she thought in a panic, a deep, real fear seeping into her body.

And then it hit her for real.

Not the cranes, and the endless cycle. But the time in-between. The trials.

“No,” she whispered. She went rigid, then twitched. It was too much to bear. Memories flooded her brain and it was more pain than she was able to take. People. God, so, so many people. Some of them could have been her own age, even, and all of them she had…God. The memories were harsh and unbearable. In her head, it had been her father. She had been…been killing him. Or been—been practicing. Been getting ready. God, god, it had made so much sense to her. Like she was meditating to work her way to the real thing. But how had she thought that? It had never been him at all! It had been people, people like her! Fuck—people running, people screaming, and bleeding, and begging, and crying, and being torn to pieces at her feet.

I killed them, she thought in horror, I killed them all.

So many times. So many times. And it was the same people? How? How did she keep killing the same ones?

Where am I? thought Rin in desperation. She shot to her feet and looked around. It—it was home, but, but no, no, no, no, it wasn’t home at all! It was wrong. It was like home in a dream, where you thought you recognized the place, but the moment you woke you realized how completely wrong the structure had been, and were lost as to how it had ever felt right at all! What am I? she wondered in horror as she caught sight of the hue of her hand. Stumbling over her feet, Rin tore out to the gardens, looking for something she could see herself in, and fell to her knees by the little nearly dried up stream, and looked. And brought her hands up to her mouth in despair and fear.

She wasn’t a person anymore. She was pale, almost blue, and her arm was detached. Glass in her shoulder—god, she could feel it now. Feel the agony. And her side? It was—it was in pieces—she’d almost been ripped in two! She started to wonder how she was even still alive, but she wasn’t. She wasn’t, god, and that was so terrifying to try to truly understand. Her eyes were white like a Yurei. No. No, she realized, starting to cry, No. An Onryo.

How long had she been one? How—? NO. NO! How will I ever get free? She had to kill her father! It would be the only way to ever end this? And where was he! Where was she!

Rin stumbled to her feet and ran, looking for an exit, to—to wherever was away from here. She made it to the edge of the garden, and saw trees ahead, and tore for them, and slammed against a barrier she couldn’t see and was knocked back onto the ground.

Struggling up, Rin found the barrier and slammed her hands against it, but it didn’t budge, and no matter how hard she pushed, she couldn’t make it through.

“Help!” she called as loud as she could, crying again in the impossibility of her situation, “Please! Someone! Anybody! Can anyone hear me? Is anyone out there!”

Nothing.

The whole world was empty, except for her. She kept pounding, kept calling, kept trying to get free, but there was no change. And exhausted, she fell to her knees and cried.

“Please.” Miserable, she curled up into a little ball and wept silently, trying to make sense of all the horrible murders in her head. Thinking of how awful the night with her father had been, how impossible it had been to understand a man like him would do a thing like he had done to her mother, and then her, and how she had known for completely certain she would never ever ever do such a thing herself, and now she was just like him.

“Did…did you say, uh…’help’?” came a voice Rin didn’t know.

She looked up in surprise, and through blurry dead eyes, saw a girl she recognized—a girl with three red braids in her hair, out of breath and flushed from running, looking at her warily from about ten feet back.

Rin’s English wasn’t amazing, but she was pretty sure the girl had asked her something about calling for help.

“’Tasukete’ right?” said the girl, eyeing her with a little suspicion and a lot of confusion.

I was right! I was right, she heard me!

Rin hurriedly sat up a little and nodded.

“…Why?” asked the redhead, moving a little closer.

And Rin was suddenly not seeing her. She was seeing hundreds of versions of this girl from her past. She was seeing one form last week, that she had chopped to bits with her katana the exact way her father had killed her, and she was sick, and couldn’t say anything at all. Could barely move. She wanted to hide. Wanted to curl up in a cold dark corner and never be seen again. She wanted to wake up and find none of this had ever happened.

“ごめんなさい。” whispered Rin, because ‘Sorry’ was the only word suddenly that she could even remember anymore.

The girl seemed to know that one to, and blinked at her in surprise, and took another step closer. “…Sorry?” she asked in a very different tone of voice. Less hostile. Less wary. More worried and confused. “For—what’s going on?”

Rin felt it coming while the girl was still speaking. There was a heaviness settling on her brain, and it was a terrifying heaviness. It was like finding another person with you inside your body, who had forced their way in, but they had not only joined you, but found a way to make your body more theirs than yours. She saw her vision flicker, and the girl was her father for a second, and things made less sense and more sense at once, but the things that made more sense were all wrong and murders and millions of paper cranes that would never be enough to buy a wish. And she reached out and put her hand against the barrier and tried to warn the girl, tried to say something, but suddenly there was no girl. Just her father, glaring back at her and filling her with rage and fear and hate, and she couldn’t remember the girl or why she was here, but she knew what the thing in front of her was, and she wanted to kill it.

#ask #anonymous #dead by daylight #writing #long post #dbd #Philip Ojomo #Rin Yamaoka

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whitefoxed · 3 years

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Come Wake Me Up

@the-muse-mansion | Re-Archived: Written to this.

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months, three seasons have since passed from the last time the ground here crunched beneath the soles of his shoes. Stumbling in the dark, Lise saw the previous barren trees and shrubbery were now heavy with leaves, rustling dryly like quiet murmurs of disapproval at his approach. The night’s cold wind chilled him to the bone.

Dressed in only a white dress shirt, black trousers and loafers, the doctor’s usual tidy appearance was nowhere to be seen. In its place was a look of disarray, the shirt’s top buttons missing, leaving a vulnerably revealing V neck though its upturned collar was an obvious attempt of trying to curb that indecency. Its sleeves were rolled up to the man’s elbows however, making no effort to hide the hand like purple marks around his wrists. That brown hair too, was in a tousled mess, though it had traces of fingers having combed through it in failed effort.

Yet except for that and the lack of colour on his lips, the brunet who now stood at Adam’s door and knocked with the back of his knuckles, was not that much different from the he who stood here last. Breathing in, he let out a quiet sigh. “Open the door… it’s me.”

It was exquisite torture. Waiting each day for a word, a call, a letter, anything to show that he wasn’t hated and despised for some mysterious reason. Though he could not think of any reason for that to be the case, Adam could not think otherwise. Silence was all too telling after all.

So he lost himself to his music, compositions darker than any he’d written before, harsh and jarring manifestations of his own self loathing born of the conviction that he’d managed to screw this up somehow. It was all that kept him from ending it all in a desperate attempt to escape. That and the small undying hope that Lise would return one day.

Cursing to himself, Adam worked to re-hair his violin bow. It had not stood up well to the last bout of emotional outpouring. It was a task he was not fond of but one he was well practiced at. Even so his fingers stilled as a step sounded at his door. The words that followed would have sent him to his knees had he already not been seated. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible.

If he’d been asked, Adam couldn’t recall leaving the couch and yanking the front door open. “It’s you,” he echoed almost feebly as he drank in the sight before him. Had he finally gone off the deep end and was now left to hallucinations? Would his mind manifest such vivid markings and bruises on the pale skin? Would he imagine the disheveled state as some sort of explanation as to Lise’s absence? He simply had no way of knowing. “Is it you?” he asked with hope coloring his voice like a child hoping the nightmare wasn’t real.

There wasn’t any sound beyond the door, nor would it be unexpected if the one he called upon chose to ignore him, but Lise knew it wouldn’t be long before he was answered. Because despite having ran away from this very porch months ago and abandoning his friend behind, he could still keenly feel that man’s gentility that would afford him at least a word: to stay or go away.

Just as the lingering beauty that was their friendship resurfaced from the watery depths of his memories, the door opened and Lise saw, his lily maid still alive and gazing upon him in the familiar form of a dark haired man. The hand he had kept raised to knock again slowly fell to his side, as he took in the sight, as haunting and beautiful as the name his mind had bequeathed Adam.

“… Yes… May I come in? It’s cold out here.” Tiredly, grey eyes - brighter than normal, as if touched by fever - raised and met the other’s searching gaze proper as he spoke with long shallow breaths in between. It was indeed cold out here, but what truly bothered him was the vulnerability of being exposed in the open. Where any predator could take him.

Seeing how Adam was looking at him and thinking he should explain his sudden return, Lise broke into a chuckle and dropped his head to his right shoulder, revealing dried, new scars on his pale neck. His own pallor was not the same as Adam’s, it was livelier, like the blush of pink sunlight over fresh snow. But it made the dull red craters all the more grotesque.

“I made a mistake last year… I left a true friend.” Voice cracking with a broken smile, Lise blinked away his watering eyes, unconscious of how his arms had wrapped around himself defensively.

By force of habit, his dark gaze flicked out to the night stretching out beyond the circle of his porch light. Lise, by all appearances, was alone though why Adam was concerned by that, he couldn’t say exactly. Perhaps it was nothing more than instinct.

Stepping aside, he invited the human into his home, door closing and locking behind him. Questions flooded to the fore, each jostling for position to be the first voiced. And with each detail the vampire’s eyes noted, the more difficult it became to remain calm. Whatever had happened in the past, and it was clear a great deal had occurred, Lise was safe here. Only Eve ever sought him out Others avoided this dying and decrepit city in favor for the more thriving metropolises or artistic meccas.

“Where have you been?” Fuck. He tried for neutrality in tone but damn him if there wasn’t the brush of hurt and accusation underlying his words. Biting back the rest of his questions, Adam busied himself with tugging a blanket off a chair and wrapping it around the slender frame of his friend and urging him to sit closer to the fire.

Where indeed. “…Lost.” Not that he hadn’t thought of giving a proper answer, like being at his work and the hospital, staying in strictly human places during the day and home at night, drinking with people he knew and just plainly avoiding vampires… until recently. But he couldn’t bring himself to, seeking the comfort of what was their friendship with such poetic conversations.

It was a shame he only realised now how he disappointed and failed to reciprocate the respect Adam gave him.

A blanket was then draped around his shoulders, drawing his scattered gaze back upon the dark man beside him before he followed Adam’s urging and brought himself to sit nearer to those flames. Chill had permeated deep into his bones and as if the strained vigilance he had kept on his journey back here finally broke from knowing he was finally safe, the cold suddenly became unbearable and his teeth clattered, shivers turning even his hands shaky.

Lise wrapped the blanket tighter around himself, turning his eyes back upon Adam. “I’m sorry.”

“Lost? A simple word for the time that’s passed. A simple word for the look I see in your eyes now. A simple word for the way you are curling upon yourself.” The idea of an apology, no matter how heartfelt, was put aside for the moment. Understanding must come first, if understanding was to be had.

“Be clear with me Lise. Something has happened and I would have the truth of it before this goes further.” If there were revenge to be had, by all the darkest demons that resided within him, Adam would have it. First he needed answers, he needed information.

Warmth from the blanket and fire seeped through his skin, calming the tremors. The fear that hounded his heels since he woke up and made his way here seemed to have been held at bay by the door. His gaze flickered from Adam to where it was, then back around them, and for the first time felt grateful that Adam kept his curtains closed all the time.

Shaky lips pursed and parted, far too dry as he thought about how to phrase his words. Feeling safe, he did not even think of lying, nor did he have the energy or intention to. “I’m sorry… I got scared. So… I’d left. Stayed home. Worked. Stayed with humans.” With every word he spoke, his arms got tighter around his legs, having brought his knees up somehow. He could not look at Adam anymore, too ashamed, keeping his gaze on the wooden floor.

”But… I missed you… and us… it’s been too long, and I didn’t know how-” Guilt strangled his throat and he choked, coughing before he could continue. “So I thought I’d try to know more first.” Read up on vampires, ask questions on the net and-

“There was a human-friendly bar.” Different from his words prior, these echoed out emptily and Lise’s eyes blanked out, having found their direction somewhat at the fire. When they came back into focus, they dropped to his bruised wrists. “Been there for a week… met someone. He was cool… said he had something in his car to show me. Then…” This.

Two nights. He had been lucky. Guy went out and the ropes were not that tight. Kicked a window and made his way here. But he did not want to think about those two nights.

Adam watched and listened in utter stillness. With each second it seemed as if Lise turned into some hardened but brittle thing that would shatter at the wrong word or gesture. And so Adam remained unmoving lest he misstep.

Ah, but then, the words started to sink in and the images they painted became clearer. And the knot in his stomach grew and tightened. He knew of such bars and the dangers they presented to the overly trusting or the unwary. He was humbled by the intent Lise had held but infuriated by the way he went about satisfying it. With a clenched jaw and a dark look that was quickly averted, Adam managed to maintain his calm exterior.

“What did he look like? What was his name?” The vampire’s voice was soothingly soft but no less intense. He now had intentions of his own. Someone beloved to him had be terrorized and he could not let it stand. “Where was the bar?”

Led by Adam’s gentle voice, Lise answered without thinking. “Andy… I think they called him Andrew.” He blinked and shook his head, as if trying to clear his mind. “Brown hair, tall… bigger than me or you…” He was shaking again, but this time it went unnoticed by the man himself, who was busy soaking in the warmth of the fire. “Looked like them P.E. teachers…” The nice, sunny kind of guy… funny how a vampire could be sunny… Lise gulped, remembering how it all turned terrifying instead.

He didn’t notice the change in Adam, still too caught up from his escape.

Bar?… Lise’s eyes finally moved to try and meet Adam’s, as his head took its time to shift from remembering that vampire to reverse and recall the bar he mentioned earlier instead. “Erm… it’s called the Hook-Up… you can find it on main street at Corktown… just knock to go to the basement… that’s why I-” His breath hitched again, before he stopped talking. Instead he stared at his long lost friend… well, the friend he abandoned for so long.

Adam moved closer as he stored the description away. The name wasn’t familiar but that meant little in the long run. Names were as changeable as the seasons for those who lived centuries. “Shhhh,” he said softly, attempting to soothe the tremors away the best he could. “You don’t have to worry about him,” he continued, assuming that the shaking was born of the fear that this Andrew would find him again. “That’s why what?” he asked, genuinely curious as to the ending of that sentence. It didn’t really matter in the long run what Lise had been going to say but damned if Adam wasn’t just a little starved for his friend’s company and quick thoughts. In the back of his mind the vampire was busy trying to sort out everything necessary for Lise’s recovery but he found himself at a loss. So for now it was this; a comforting hand on a shoulder and a soft word. Revenge could wait for now though no forever.

“-Thought it was safe.” Staring at Adam, the words he had forgotten finally returned to his tongue and he breathed. After so long, his friend was still his friend and still cared. It was like the fact finally caught up with him. Lise breathed in deeply as he tried to keep his eyes from watering.

Corktown was filled with humans. It wasn’t that popular, but there were plenty of bars popping up in the area that made it attractive. Even at night there was quite a crowd with enough neon lights to brighten up the whole street. For just one of them to have a small vampire friendly bar downstairs seemed well- friendly enough. He just didn’t think he could be so easily kidnapped in ‘broad daylight’. “Adam, I’m sorry.” He apologised again, more lucid this time.

“How… have you been?” Without even noticing, his tremors had ceased and the blanket around him was finally warm enough.

Resolutely, Adam shook his head. “You have nothing to apologize for. I, on the other hand, do. I made you feel unsafe, made you feel as if you had to flee.” With a clenched jaw, he bit off the rest of his words. This was neither the time nor the place for self recriminations. He focused on practical issues instead. “I have nothing to offer in the way of food or drink but I can order out easily enough. Are you hungry?”

He stood and went in search of his phone. Having only recently joined the current decade in regards to telephonic communication, Adam often misplaced the device as he rarely had use for it. He located it under a stack of papers after a minute of searching. “Allow me to correct myself,” he muttered as he fished out the charging cord. “I’ll be able to order in a minute or two. Damned thing is dead again.” He glanced at Lise as he spoke, pleased to see that he looked more at ease than he had.

Lise bit his lip. Guilt still clawed at him listening to Adam’s reply, but he already couldn’t quite remember why he was so scared of Adam in the first place. Sometimes a perfect memory isn’t all that perfect. What he felt made little sense.

“Mn… yes.” It had been two days since he last ate. Apparently Andy didn’t think much of feeding a soon-to-be-dead prey. Lise snuggled in the comfort of the blanket, soft from age and use. Watching Adam fish out the dead communicator, a nostalgic smile crept unknowingly unto his lips, amused and relieved that Adam’s still the same after all this time. Such was the image Adam would see when he glanced back at Lise, who was much more relaxed than when he came in before. Quiet crackles of firewood and Adam’s rustling about fixing the phone were all very comforting sounds, with familiarity rushing back after two nights of horror. With it, came the exhaustion that slowly weighed itself on the young man and he leaned against the coffee table nearby, trying not to sleep.

He gave a glance to the clock on the wall then moved to check the heavy drapes. It was nothing more than nervous fussing in an attempt to keep questions and anxiety at bay. What should he be doing now? What would be best for his friend? What were the chances that Lise would be followed here? On a level he was hoping that would be the case but not at this moment. Now was for his friend.

He moved with careful deliberation, not that he ever truly rushed anywhere anyway, stopping to kneel next to the huddled figure. “Your eyes are starting to close,” he observed quietly. “Let’s get off the floor and find a place for you to sleep?”

"We’re not ordering food?...” Lise mumbled groggily, squinting his eyes open to look at Adam. Struggling to keep himself awake, he nodded anyway to what Adam said, thinking he should listen to him to not trouble him further. Stumbling as he tried to get up, another wave of dizziness from the anemia rolled over him.

He would try to follow where Adam led him though, and as soon as they reached their destination, his remaining strength drained out of him and he crashed down, legs left hanging off to the floor. It would be at least some hours before the man will wake up again.

#themusemansion #t.themusemansion #t.adam.come wake me up #t #'sorry it's short ><

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katehuntington · 4 years

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Title: Black Dog - part two Word count: ±2250 words Episode summary: When Sam gets an anonymous phone call with information about his father, Dean receives a text message with coordinates to different location. The brothers clash and split up, one following orders, the other trusting his instincts. Meanwhile, in the wilderness of Cascade Range, Washington State, Zoë loses grip on a personal case and is forced to confront her demons. Without back up, this might very well turn out to be her final hunt. Part two summary: After successfully wrapping up a werewolf case in Waco, Texas, the boys are on their way again. However, an unexpected phone call might just result in a change of course. Episode warnings: Dark! NSFW, 18+ only! Angst, gore, violence, character death. Description of blood, injury and medical procedures. Supernatural creatures/entities, mentions of demon possession. Swearing, smoking, weaponry. Descriptions of torture and murder. Illegal/criminal practices. Mentions of nightmares and flashbacks. Descriptions of suicidal thoughts and tendencies, depression, panic attacks, hallucinations. Author’s note: Beta’d by @winchest09 & @deanwanddamons. Thanks, girls!

Supernatural: The Sullivan Series Masterlist

S1E03 “Black Dog” Masterlist

Waco, Texas November 30th, 2005 - Present Day

“Get your motor runnin’. Head out on the highway! Lookin’ for adventure, and whatever comes our way.”

It’s early morning in sunny Texas as the black Chevrolet Impala shoots down Interstate 35, just outside the city of Waco. The temperatures are still cool at this hour, but the orange sun that’s rising in the East will change that within hours. It is exceptionally warm for this time of the year, even for this far south.

Dean has his window rolled down and joins Steppenwolf’s lead singer John Kay on the vocals. The hunt was pretty straight forward; after a day of traveling and three more to track the creature, the hunters were able to make the kill. He feels ten times better than he did five days ago, the night he got pulled out of the water without a pulse. But the rest, time and a high dose of antibiotics did him good. Deep breaths aren’t much trouble anymore and the cough is as good as gone. Even the sprint to tackle the werewolf didn’t set his lungs on fire. He’s off pain medication, slept horizontally for the first time in days, and is behind the wheel of his Baby; Dean feels good as new. His way of celebrating is by belting out every word of the legendary rock classic Born To Be Wild.

“Yeah, Darlin’, go and make it happen. Take the world in a love embrace. Fire all of your guns at once and explode into space.”

His brother, who is huddled in the corner of the door and the front seat, opens his eyes slightly and glares at his sibling through the drowsiness. He’s not sure what’s more surprising, Dean’s unbelievably good mood or the fact that he’s able to hit the notes.

“Like a true nature’s child, we were born, born to be wild. We can climb so high, I never wanna die!” Dean sings as he drums on the wheel.

“Dude, I’m trying to sleep,” Sam complains. “Turn that shit down, will you?” Dean looks aside, as if his brother just said something vile. Did he just call Steppenwolf shit? The oldest of the two shakes his head; I tried so hard to raise him right.

Instead of honoring Sam’s request, Dean lets go of the steering wheel and plays the solo on his air guitar. Startled, the passenger reaches to take control in order to keep the car steady, after which he eyes his brother. As he does, Dean turns the volume button clockwise and sings along again. “Born to be wi-i-ild!” he cries out. “Seriously?” The youngest of the two shoots a look of annoyance at the driver. “Ah, c’mon, Sammy. Why can’t a guy have a little fun?” Dean replies. “It’s Sam,” his brother reminds him. “And for one, because I barely slept last night, and secondly, because it’s seven thirty in the morning.” “So? You’re usually the one who’s all chirpy at the crack of dawn. This way we have the whole day ahead, y’know. Make some use of it,” Dean quips.

Sam lifts one eyebrow and observes the driver for a few seconds. Is this truly coming from his brother, who is anything but a morning person? Bullshit, he thinks to himself. “That’s the best you could come up with?” he confronts. Right at that moment, AC/DC’s Stiff Upper Lip starts playing on the radio channel and Dean can’t help but to shout out when he recognizes the introduction. “Man, I love this song!” Sam shakes his head. All that his brother is doing is avoiding the topic of conversation. “And Erin didn’t mind you leaving before the alarm?”

Dean looks aside, thinking of the gorgeous brunette he picked up at a bar last night during their celebratory drink. “Not sure, she was still asleep when I left,” he admits. The younger Winchester scoffs. “That’s just mean.” “It ain’t my style to hang around too long, you know that,” Dean reminds his brother, defending his actions. “Why the hell are you in such a hurry? We don’t have a lead on Dad, we don’t have a lead on any case at all. Yet you dragged me out of the motel room at 6 AM to hit the road,” Sam questions.

His brother shrugs and fails to answer the question. Instead, he mouths the lyrics of the song while cheerily banging his head to the beat. “Dean!” Sam shouts, trying to get his brother to focus. “What?!” Dean bounces back, getting somewhat annoyed with his brother’s persistence. “I just wanna get to Hillsboro to pick up that lock so I can finally fix the trunk, that’s all.”

The passenger rolls his eyes at the lame excuse. “That’s not the reason, Dean. And you know it.” Dean lays his hand on top of the wheel and shakes his head. “You’re seeing things that ain’t there, know that?” “Funny, though, apparently you know that I’m talking about Zoë, without me even mentioning her,” the youngest returns with an attitude. “And do you honestly think I didn’t notice that you’re driving north?” “We’re in Texas, Sam. I can’t exactly go South without crossing any fucking borders,” Dean argues. “Not to mention that ‘north’ is a lot of square miles in this country. How the hell would we possibly be able to find her?” “I don’t know, man…” Sam stares up the road ahead, but then looks aside. “But you did think of it then.”

Dean sighs, realizing his slip of the tongue. Okay, so maybe he did, but he isn’t going to admit that. “You are the one who keeps calling her every day. You’re full on stalking her, no wonder she doesn’t pick up.” “I hope to God that’s the reason,” Sam responds, worried. “She’s probably just neck deep in a case,” the driver brings to mind. “Zoë’s a good hunter, she knows her shit. Why would you think she’s in trouble?” “I don’t know, just the way she took off. Like she wasn’t expecting to see us again,” Sam recalls. “You mean that she was nice?” the oldest rephrases. “Look, if she’s in trouble or not, we’d be searching for a needle in a very big haystack. For now -” He turns on his blinker and exits the highway, “- I’m gonna patch up my Baby.”

Ten minutes later, they pull over on 526 West Elm Street in Hillsboro. It’s a quiet lane on the outer side of the city, on which a little auto shop called Ronny’s Garage and Wrecker Services is situated. It’s not a big place, just a shed, from which the Stars and Stripes flag flutter playfully. A big Chevrolet truck is parked in front of the lawn, and several wreckages fill the large yard behind the house. On the other side of the sober home next to the shed, there’s a small gas station.

Dean cuts the engine and gets out of the car. A largely built man with big sideburns and a slight limp in his walk shows up from under the garage door and moves into the sun. Whipping his hands clean with a dirty cloth, he smiles at the sight of the ‘67 Impala. The oldest of the two Winchester brothers walks up the driveway. “Ronny Davis!” Dean grins as he approaches him. “Man, it’s good to see ya.” “Long time, no see, Winchester,” the big man says, embracing the hunter.

Dean pats him on the back and restores the space between them. It has been a while. Last time he saw the brawny guy was at a shady diner in Tampa, where he and John helped Ron out on a Djinn case. It must have been four years ago, at least. Sam just left for college around that time. “How’s your old man?” he wonders. “He’s alright,” Dean says, keeping up appearances. “Workin’ another case.”

It’s not a lie. Well, technically it’s not. He will leave out the part where his father is missing, though. Not telling the truth to the old friend is not something he’s comfortable with, but he will do anything to make sure his father’s work isn’t jeopardized. Sam was eager to reach out to other hunters in order to find him and although Dean wants to track him down just as well, he prefers to keep this in the family, letting sleeping dogs lie. Who knows who, or what, might be listening in. They will find Dad, when he wants to be found.

The two men enter the garage, where a 62’ Lincoln Continental lays on the operating table with a bared engine bay. While Dean nods at the car with appreciating eyes, Ronny turns around to observe the youngest Winchester for a moment, who gets out of the car. “I see Sam is back in action.” “Yeah, dragged his ass back into the game,” Dean replies with a trace of regret in his voice. “He’s an excellent hunter. We can use a few good men like him,” Ronny says. “Especially now that one of the very best was sent on early retirement.” Dean chuckles at his comment and glances down. “How are you, by the way?” Ron pulls up the pant leg of his overhaul, revealing the bionic prosthetic. “It doesn’t even hurt a bit,” he jokes. “Ruguru took it right off, knee and all.” “I’m sorry, man,” Dean sighs, his sympathetic eyes meeting Ronny’s. “It’s quite alright, actually,” he assures, smiling at the ground. “I mean, I still have holy water on my nightstand and a sixgun by the door, but instead of killing monsters I fix cars now. Life could be worse.”

Dean can’t help but to agree on that. A small prick of jealousy pierces his heart, because deep down, he wouldn’t mind living the ordinary life. Sure, he has embraced hunting, or at least acts like he has. He finds fulfillment in the job, saving people who are in need and ridding the world of evil, but it comes with great sacrifice. Who knows, maybe when they finally find the son of a bitch that killed his mother, he can lay down his weapons. Some day.

The former hunter has walked to his workbench on which a dissected transmission box lays bare. “So, what brings you here?” “Passing through, just wrapped up a case in Waco,” Dean tells him. “Some scumbag tried to break into the trunk, though. The lock is busted, couldn’t fix it. And since you have six and a half a Chevy in your backyard, I figured you’d be the guy who could help me out.” “I actually dismantled a 69’ Caprice last week, same lock as the ‘67.” He moves a few boxes around, snuffling through the thousands of parts. In this organized chaos Ron is able to find what he’s looking for and pulls the lock plus keys from a drawer. “Let’s get to work,” Dean suggests, contented.

As the mechanics take a look at the Impala, Sam wanders off. Not going anywhere in particular, the youngest Winchester strolls down the crooked sidewalk, taking in his surroundings. None of the lawns in the neighborhood are taken care of, no one made the effort to water the grass. The houses seem neglected, paint is coming off the wooden frames and weeds growing through the tiles.

With a sigh he takes out his phone. Scrolling through the list of last outgoing calls, Zoë shows on the display over and over again. Dean’s right; he is stalking her. Despite that thought, he presses the green button and puts his new Blackberry against his ear, since the last one perished in the lake in Paragould.

“This is the voicemail of Zoë Sullivan. You can leave a message after the--”

Annoyed, Sam hangs up and walks on. As he enters the small shop by the gas station, a bell rings. A middle aged woman behind the counter looks up and greets him politely. He gives her a nod and takes a few candy bars from the selves, since there is no healthy alternative in stock to choose from. So much for breakfast, but at least this will save them from starvation. “That will be $ 3,60, sir,” the lady informs while she puts the bars in a plastic bag. He passes her a five dollar bill and takes the bag and his change. As she wishes him a nice day, he leaves. The sun almost blinds him, still hanging low, but shining brightly already. Sam narrows his eyes and starts to make his way back to the garage, when his phone rings. A bit startled, he hastily takes out his phone, hoping it’s Zoë, but the caller ID isn’t identified on the display. While wondering who it could be, he answers. “This is Sam.” “Sam Winchester?”

A bit stunned, the young hunter looks back at his display to make sure the woman on the other end of the line isn’t Zoë. The voice coming through is different, softer, with a slightly dissimilar accent. Sam digs deep down his memory, but he doesn’t recognize the person on the phone. “Who is this?” he asks, still cautious. “I have some information for you.” Whoever she is, she got his attention. Sam tries to not sound too curious as he responds. “What kind of information?” A short silence follows before the girl answers, but when she does, her words bring his heart and mind to a full stop.

“I know where your father is.”

There you have it, the first chapter of the new episode “Black Dog”. I hope I got your attention! Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to reblog my work or buy me coffee (Link in bio at the top of the page)

Read part three here

#Dean Winchester fanfiction #Sam Winchester fanfiction #Dean x OFC #Sam x OFC #Supernatural OFC series #Supernatural series #Dean Winchester series #Sam Winchester series #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #Zoë Sullivan #Supernatural fanfiction #SPN #SPN fanfiction #Supernatural: the Sullivan Series #STSS #1x03 black dog #Kate Huntington

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pvremichigan · 3 years

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You’ll Always Be My Son. [Hell Arc Drabble 6]

The shrieking of demons behind her grew louder the more she ran. Damn it all to hell - ironically - that she was still unable to see them. All she could hear was the rumbling, the clawing and smacking on the pavement behind her. Some even seemed to hop onto the chain fences that lined the sides of people’s yards here and there. The rattling and chaotic noises echoing behind her, the whispers barely human and the screeching only growing closer and closer, as if teasing her demise before retracting and watching her continue to run for her life without pause. The exhaustion was growing, she had been running for far too long. Sometimes the calls would draw her towards certain streets, but she’d have to find a back road knowing damn well these things would be able to cut her off if she had made specific turns. The chase felt like it had lasted a lifetime, which has been a trait Mich has noticed here. Every moment of fear, agony, misery, despair... The time seemed to drag on, turning seconds into minutes. Far more than that phenomenon in real life, it was far slower than the brain could realistically perceive during moments of panic like that. As if this hell was taunting her views on time, such as nothing lasting forever and her having all the time in the world. Hell was truly tearing down her ideals... Not in a humbling way either.

The streets that she had passed were unfamiliar. Despite this resembling her neighborhood vaguely, nothing she saw was connecting. It all seemed the same and different at the same time. As if this was a hallucination, or she was in a state of delirium. Nothing made sense, nothing was recognizable. However, she was at the point where she had to make a choice.

The redhead took a risk, turning one of the corners that she knew would cause her to get cut off by the blood thirsty beasts taunting her every step. The fact that they weren’t visible made things far worse than she thought it would, but her strength in her senses proved to be more helpful in the end. She heard the crash of the wire fence to the side of her. From the impact, it seemed like the demon hopped towards it to propel itself off as it lunged at her. Using this prediction, she lunged the crowbar upwards, hoping to get it right this time.

This exact situation, exact route and running had happened nearly 8 times in a row. Each time resulting in her getting caught and mauled, torn apart piece by piece. Then... She’d have to restart and try all over again. Never once in those attempts did she get her timing and aim right with the crowbar... So this was truly just her hoping at this point. She didn’t know how many more reruns she could go through before she had to give up.

With the resistance of the impalement and the blood dripping onto the pavement, the plan seemed to work. How odd... As soon as the demon started to bleed as it fell to the ground, the other beasts stopped and surrounded it. Mich glanced back to see what was going on, slowing down ignorantly to observe. The beasts, from what it sounded like, were tearing the injured demon apart and feasting. The screams and wails of the wounded one were nearly deafening. When she assumed they were blood thirsty, she was never prepared to realize that it could be any blood.

Pausing, now thinking on it, was a terrible idea. Once they were done with that one, of course they’d be after her again. Only this time, she wouldn’t have the crowbar. And there was no way she was going through it ALL over again.

And yet...

They were finished too early. The beasts cried out, never once did they keep their eyes off of her it seemed, as they caught her off guard and lunged. Sparing the details, every nerve in her body seemed to seer and scream until she appeared... Right on that sidewalk with her crowbar.

And did it all over again, running for her life.

Having impaled the one yet again, Mich didn’t stop to look this time. She kept running down that street, no stopping even for a moment to check. Looking around, it seemed that breaking that loop caused a break in the uncanny aura to the street. The houses grew more and more familiar, discoloration still apparent but less so now than before as she could mentally note exactly whose houses were whose. The call of the soul grew louder the more she ran down the street, practically screaming once she got to the most familiar house of them all.

Her own.

The only moment she paused was to take one good look at the front of it, both figuring if it was a trap or not and also to bask in the moment that she hadn’t recognized her house for a long time... And seeing it for the first time in a while and being able to click in her mind that this was her house, recalling all the details... The warmth of home was there. She could really feel the safety she yearned for there, even if she still was in hell.

No time to spare, the woman stepped up on the very small concrete slab-like porch she spent a lot of time smoking out on, and reached towards the door handle. Opening the front door and stepping in, it really did feel like home, however there was a heavy sadness and emptiness in the air that weighed down the moment she walked in. The couch to her right right underneath the window with the loveseat to the right of that, pressed up against the wall. The staircase immediately to her left as soon as you walk in, with the tv atop the wooden bookshelf right in front of her. The door that leads to the garage and cellar... Right to the right of that. Dining room table to the right of the loveseat. The small kitchen to the right of that. Everything was in order, everything was there. Every little detail recognizable and observed for years. God... This was home. So why was the atmosphere so dreadful? Was this what she’s been feeling for years? What the house had been filling with for so long..? This is what she felt, what she had to endure... The weight was nearly crippling. How was she able to handle this for so long? Looking back, she still lacked an answer that could make sense to her. At least, a good enough answer that wasn’t simply an excuse. Looking out the window, it was pitch black outside. A drastic difference from just moments ago where it was a dreary yet light gray everywhere. Pitch black... And the beasts that had chased her were nowhere to be heard. As if she entered a different dimensional plane simply by entering a door.

After paying mind to the aura of the room, the bright glow of her soul lay right in the middle of the living room. The moment she approached, it disappeared. The frustration grew immensely, the feeling of defeat growing more than before. What was she doing wrong?! Was this a trick!? Why was she not able to reach what she’s needed to for so long now!?!

Her fists clenched as she turned around, frozen at the sight before her.

Her adopted son, Lance... Grown up... With his bags in hand and backpack over his shoulder, hand on the front door. She remembers now... Those same tears, more guilt fueled than anything, began to build. Though her heart didn’t sink, it throbbed. Painfully... But there was no dread.

The day he left... She had already been sinking to her lowest. She barely said a thing other than ‘Take care.’

To her own son... She can’t even give a proper goodbye.

Seeing what happened prior to this with Ryan, she had a feeling she knew what she had to do.

“... You did always wonder if I was mad you wanted to be human. I acted poorly, Lance... I was barely there for you, I was there even less after Ryan had vanished. Your energy gave me so much joy, despite I never showed it. Oh honey... I was never mad. I just... Didn’t express my sadness and acceptance well enough. You always loved hanging out with the other kids, you always wanted to go to school. You wanted to live. I was teaching you how to survive.”

The boy that stood in front of the door barely moved, but she could tell that - despite it not being him unsurprisingly - he was listening. These obstacles that she had to face... It was never physical because she held very little physical burdens. These problems were always mental and emotional. Facing them like she is now... It was the only way to heal at this point. Unresolved business, problems she avoided facing from the start... It was killing her just as quick as not having a soul.

“I want you to know, I was never mad at you. I supported you then even if it didn’t seem like it. I love you dearly, even if this is the last time I remember you. You were my pride and joy, Lance. My capital. You were what I had when I had nothing. I’m sorry I wasn’t always there. I’m sorry I missed out on so much... I feel like I barely got to see you grow as a person. I’ve missed so much in your life and I want you to know that you’ve grown up to be a wonderful man. You’ve grown up... I see it now. I see you now. I... Know there’s distance in every single way between us. I’m sorry you never had a father figure, I’m...”

And just as predicted, the tears fell. The guilt that fueled them was accompanied by the love she has for this boy, the love a mother has for her child. These tears... Were far less painful. They were a comfort she’s felt before. Just recently... She’s felt this type of love with another. Jack... Someone she can be better to, someone she can be there for when she never was for Lance.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t a better mother. You had so much potential and it hurt to let you go, but I want to tell you that I’m.... So... So proud of you. So very proud. You’ve done so much... You’ve accomplished your BIGGEST dream. Lance, I know you’ll never hear this, but feel it in your heart if you ever can that I love you and I’m proud of you. You’ll ALWAYS be my son, even if we don’t know each other. You’ll always be my son...”

Mich walks forward, the warmth of home and the tenderness of having her son there with her, despite him never facing her... Only facing the door... She felt far safer in here than she ever had. Even in hell... She still had the compassion in her heart to weep with joy and guilt for her son. Hell can’t be her downfall, she has too much within her to drag her down to the pits. There’s always a fight in her heart, she’s always ready to fight for her life and then some.

The proud woman reaches a hand out, resting it gently upon her ‘sons’ shoulder.

“Guess this is our last goodbye too. I never got to say goodbye to you... I never got to say any of this to you. So here I am. Not because I have to... But because I’ve had it in my heart this entire time and only now am I able to relay the message. I love you, Lance. I hope your new family loves you just as much if not more than I did. I hope your dreams never die out. I hope the world someday knows your name. If I can’t remember it... The world has to. I will let no one let your name die out with history. Go make a difference... Go change the world if you need to. Go have fun and please... Please enjoy your life. I’m so proud of you...”

“You’ll always be my son.”

The figure took a moment after she stopped, the silence lingering a moment too long as the heartbreak began to crack in again. After the extended silence, he hung his head not in disappointment, but it seemed to be in preparation for the world. Turning the door handle, there was a nearly blinding light that flooded the room the more it opened. Without looking back, the boy walked forward into the light and didn’t stop, shutting the door behind him. The light that had flooded the room was dragged out, leaving Mich in an uncomfortably dull and dim lit living room. The weight... Still remained. What a suffocating atmosphere... She could feel old habits itch at her, her feet heavy as she dragged herself over to the couch. The soul had disappeared yet again, Ryan was gone, and now Lance was gone for good. Hunched over, she put her hands against her face and wept silently to herself. This... Really did last hours this time. After all of this pain and fear and those obstacle ridden streets... She took a moment of apparent safety and calm to weep. Really let it out as if it were like taking a breather after a long run. She needed this...

She needed this.

Hours passed, there was only a brief period during the end where she was able to sit in silence and breathe. The silence was abruptly interrupted by a knock at the door. She didn’t trust it. It froze her in fear and anticipation, eyes locked on the door as her breathing slowed, barely blinking. The knock came again, but softer this time. There was no way she could trust this... But after a soft yet firmer third time, she realized that if she opened the door and got mauled, when she woke up she just... Wouldn’t answer the door again. Mich was exhausted, she was now resorting to reckless experiment.

Standing up, though hesitation slowing her down, the woman made her way to the door. Gripping the handle tightly, there was yet another instance of hesitation before she finally worked up the courage and let the door slowly open. Before her... Was a glowing essence.

Her soul...

She didn’t trust it this time, looking around to see if there was yet another emotional or mental obstacle. There was nothing in sight... Which caused her to grow skeptical of this situation. This could easily be fake, a trap... But those thoughts washed away like dirt once she felt and heard the call. The weight of the atmosphere in the room had blocked it out. But now... Her tear stained eyes had no more tears left to give.

Kneeling down, she very slowly reached her hand out to the essence. She was... Able to feel it. It felt so familiar, more recognizable and familiar than anything she had pieced together in hell. The thing she could recognize the most...

Herself.

Within a moment of feeling her soul, the light wrapped around her arm, sinking into her body with an intense wave of energy that had felt very overwhelming internally.

Mich’s eyes widen at the realization. There was no weight... This felt so... Different but as if nothing changed all at once. She felt like herself. For the first time in three years, she felt like herself. She felt everything she lost, there was so much going on that she couldn’t explain or pinpoint or anything. It was just... Her.

She was back.

A genuine smile grew on her lips, a shaky exhale before that smile was wiped away quickly. The tears fell yet again, but these tears differed from all the rest she had shed in this realm. Relief... Relief, accomplishment, success, joy, victory... Her hands began to shake as the overwhelming energy really took over.

This joy only lasted for moments as she stood on her porch, as she now glanced around at her surroundings. Things were all too familiar, but even worse... What she saw was something she wished she was still unable to see.

They were visible.

Well...

“It’s time to leave.”

All the energy she had thought she lost pushed itself into her nerves as she dashed off her porch and began her run. She ran for her life as these discolored fleshy beasts, all different shapes and sizes and forms, chased after her in animalistic ways. Time felt like it ran in slow motion though this time... It really didn’t. She was running now, but this time she was running for the exit. Where it was? Well... That’s the hard part. However... Her soul gave another calling. Perhaps this was towards the end... And hopefully it was tracking what Carter had set up. She just prays it’s ready.

For now... She’s running like she’s NEVER run before.

#tw mauling #tw mutilation #tw time loop #[[Pull the Trigger]];; ic #[[gun powder]];; Mich #[[Trail of Smoke]];; Drabble

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wordofrecall · 4 years

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character playlists: ori

so. let’s do this. my playlists are long and scattered, but they make me happy, so i might as well share them and the thoughts behind song choices. so. here’s some songs for runaway knights & wannabe witches, and what have you.

something holy - childhood & riches & wonders

pearl diver - mitski - oh hunter, if you didn’t want the beautiful so badly, perhaps you would’ve found it in your spirit singing softly - look. it's on the nose, considering that her title is "the pearl hunter," but also, like, that rules. this is a song for wren, i think; ori in the present reflecting on her mother and the similarities between them.

icicles - the scary jokes - i can only be forgiven if i’m giving myself up to you on a silver serving tray / must i bare myself to the stabbing of your knife & gnashing teeth while our lovely company appears so entertained? - aaand a song for childhood. 99% of ori's socialization came from her parents having important guests over, so. uh. yeah. show off your reclusive child prodigy like a pageant whenever you have the opportunity. she probably won't grow to loathe you.

life: the cruel interlude (on god) - kilo kish - why do i dare believe in me when i bleed? - questioning was. always a big thing for ori. i don't think she ever believed that the mirzha was god, and i known that she never truster her father's patron, but. in her studies, in her passions, there's always this tiny sense of desperation for something to have faith in something. not herself.

bluejays & cardinals - the mountain goats - the stars come out of hiding for you, & i would too - there is. a lot, in ori's relationship with her brother. she was the favorite child, yeah, the one destined for great things in spite of her... troubles. but he never had those troubles! she didn't, doesn't understand how he went through life so unafraid. there's envy there. i also think that the line i quoted is terribly true, like, canonically. because. she sure did do that stupid shit.

be calm - fun. - take it from me, i’ve been there a thousand times--you hate your pulse because it thinks you’re still alive! - sometimes you have intense social phobia. and that's okay!

country death song - violent femmes - kiss your mother goodnight & remember that God saves, kiss your mother goodnight & remember that God saves - i think andrei is a much less pitiable or even sympathetic man than the narrator of this song, but. like. it's a country song about a father killing his daughter while preaching godliness. i had to.

i’m all bloody inside - liam lynch - inside me, well, it’s dark & gross as hell, i’m not a pretty sight - the family business!

the hazards of love 3 (revenge!) - the decemberists - but father, don’t you fear, your children are all here - fantasies. part of the fantasy is imagining a world where she doesn't feel terrible about the thought.

shankill butchers - sarah jarosz - they used to be just like me & you, they used to be sweet little boys - "blood hunters are ghost stories." "and also, they're fucking terrible. violent, cruel, zealous. the worst."

sparrow - st. vincent - & no eyes are on the sparrow, eyes are on the sparrow, how could that be the case? the lark keeps whistling his number, silly little number, as if he isn't prey - pity for the boy. sort of retrospective, but it's a thought that's been there since she was a child.

something burning - rituals & fire & running

starchild - ghost quartet - but i will transcend & vomit this loser out of me; i will become the next big thing, i will light myself on fire - maybe she is some kind of angel? bursting with radiance and terrifying to look upon.

arsonist’s lullabye - hozier - don’t you ever tame your demons, always keep them on a leash / when i was sixteen, my senses fooled me - oooor maybe she is a sixteen year-old who is having a panic attack and setting everything in sight on fire by accident.

blood - my chemical romance - i’m the kind of human wreckage that you love! - so she's broken.

girl anachronism - the dresden dolls - it’s not the way i’m meant to be, it’s just the way the operation made me - so she's failed and she's broken and she's sick, and there's no time to fucking think.

when the chips are down - anais mitchell - cast your eyes to heaven, you’ll get a knife in the back. - so she does what her mother did before her, and she runs from that which she has always known.

body terror song - ajj - i’m so sorry that you have to have a body / one that will hurt you, & be the subject of so much of your fear - feelings on being built Wrong; feelings on your mind's undue control upon your body.

in corolla - the mountain goats - & no one was gonna come & get me, there wasn't anybody gonna know, even though i leave a trail of burnt things in my wake every single place i go - very good as an ori song in general but this is her justification to herself in the water. under the docks, she says this to herself.

the harrowed & the haunted - the decemberists - will i be so brave? - just to get that oceanic vibe up.

luna - the mountain goats - rise through the flames & end again in flames at last - an inexplicable feeling.

unwhere - reeder - a song for leaving what you've always known.

something lonely - years & woods & dreaming

runs in the family - amanda palmer - run from their pity, from responsibility, run from the country & run from the city, i can run from the law, i can run from myself, i can run for my life, i can run into debt, i can run from it all, i can run 'till I'm gone - she is broken and all she can think to do is get as far away as possible

panic attack - liza anne - i hate that i can be seen like this

black eyes - david wirsig - my hammering heart hears the voices of spirits that tempt us, the scorn that they’ve spoken

for the departed - shayfer james - they will bury me alive, but i’m not inclined to care; i am too far gone now

hurt - johnny cash - everyone i know goes away in the end; you can have it all, my empire of dirt

my body’s made of crushed little stars - mitski - i work better under a deadline! i work better under a deadline!

blood in the cut - k. flay - guess i’m contagious; it’d be safest if you ran--fuck, that’s what they all just end up doing in the end

little pistol - mother mother - i think i might be scared of the world & the way it makes you feel afraid & how it gets in the way

villains pt. 1 - emma blackery - built to create, designed to destroy

the beer - kimya dawson - & the christians gave me comic books as if i would be scared of burning in hell while i was already there [...] i tried to scream fuck you but blood was pouring out my mouth

something safe - family & finding it & fighting together

haunted house - sir babygirl - i’m running just to hide & i’m hiding just to breathe & around every corner is the same night on repeat

your heart is a muscle the size of your fist - ramshackle glory - i love you & you make me glad to be alive; i promise that i’m gonna pay you back / you always know how funny everything is, even when i’m so serious that it’s gonna be the death of me

medicines - the taxpayers - o, but our rotting corpses lying there soon began to leak & grow these lesions that all smelled just like a rose / & all the blood & guts inside us germinated into timeless pages stained with lines of lovely prose

autoclave - the mountain goats - i am this great unstable mass of blood & foam

alligator skin boots - mccafferty - i’m cool to the touch, leap to my death, i’ll die for you all, i’ll die for my friends, it goes like this

100 years - florence + the machine - lord, don’t let me break this, let me hold it lightly, give me arms to pray with instead of ones that hold too tightly

tomorrow will be kinder - the secret sisters - but i feel warmth on my skin, the stars have all aligned

armour - rae spoon - you know i placed was to build a life for you

amy aka spent gladiator 1 - the mountain goats - play with matches if you think you need to play with matches; seek out the hidden places where the fire burns hot & bright / find where the heat’s unbearable & stay there if you have to--don’t hurt anybody on your way up to the light, and stay alive

curses - the crane wives - won’t you stay with me, my darling, when my walls start burning down?

something daring - islands & visions & loss

jane’s dream - janelle monáe

beekeeper - keaton henson - hear me, o woman that has gone astray, gone astray

fire - kimya dawson - i’m reading books about how they’re corrupt [...] as long as i’m burning, i’ll keep on yearning to save the world, not sure how, but i’m learning

cosmic hero - car seat headrest - i love you, but i can’t stand the touch, & of course i’m alright with death

turn the lights off - tally hall - everbody likes to get taken for turns to see how bright the fire inside of us burns [...] should be stronger, books abandoned

eat you alive - the oh hellos - child, i’m afraid for your soul; these things that you’re after, they can’t be controlled

cry for judas - the mountain goats - hallucinate a shady grove where judas went to die

o death - monica martin - no wealth, no land, no silver, no gold, nothing satisfies me but your soul

blood of angels - brown bird - and i would wage my soul to bet that there ain’t no one throwing lightning anyhow

the universe is going to catch you - the antlers - the arms of the universe kept you from falling [...] those arms did not come back

a burning hill - mitski - i am the fire & i am the forest & i am the witness watching it / i stand in the valley watching it

something terrifying - conversations & selfhood & divination

the lamb - dessa - but blood is blood, & what’s done is done; blood is blood, & its burden is a beast

going invisible 2 - the mountain goats - i’m gonna burn it all down today & sweep all the ashes away

the lion’s roar - first aid kit - she plays a tune for those who wish to overlook the fact that they’ve been blindly deceived by those who preach & pray & teach, but she falls short & the night explodes in laughter

the villain i appear to be - connor spiotto - even if you can’t see the good inside me, i don’t have the time to tell you why i do the things that i do, just please hold on & soon you’ll seem

up the wolves - the mountain goats - there’s bound to be a ghost at the back of closet, no matter where you live; there’ll be a few things, maybe several things that you’re gonna find really difficult to forgive

thursday girl - mitski - glory, glory, glory to the night that shows me what i am

at the bottom of everything - bright eyes - we must take all of the medicines to expensive now to sel; set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell

everybody does - julien baker - i know i’m a pile of filthy wreckage you will wish you’d never touched, but you’re gonna run when you find out who i am

tongues & teeth - the crane wives - i know that you mean so well, but i am not a vessel for your good intent

a pearl - mitski - you’re growing tired of me and all the things i don’t talk about / sorry, i don’t want your touch--it’s not that i don’t want you

#original #this is. so long. and i will probably add more. but. Daughter.#ori #playlists

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ms-rampage · 4 years

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Eden’s Gate: Kidnapped Chapter 17 - The Last Of Us Part 2 (continue)

The final part of Eden’s Gate: Kidnapped.

The next series is gonna focus on John and Kate's relationship that occurred 2 years before all the events of Kidnapped.

Supernatural moment? Maybe!?!?!

Word count: 3k+

Warnings: Swearing, violence, death of some main characters, angst.

A slight cliffhanger maybe?!?!?! I don’t know!!! A new follow up series?!? Maybe!!!.

************************************************************

Paige and Kenny go from room to room looking for their daughter.

“You find her?” she whispers.

“No” he whispers back.

From down the hall, Paige sees a dimly lit white light coming from one of the rooms.

She slowly walks towards it, “Where are you going?” Kenny whispers. He follows her down the hall.

They get to the door, it looks like it belongs to an office, she slowly pushes it open.

There’s no one in, a crib similar to the one from Paige’s bliss hallucination sits in the middle of the room. Soft cooing, and babbling come from it.

She walks towards it and sees her daughter in.

She sighs loudly, and picks her up “Oh my god” she says with tears streaming down her face.

Kenny holds the both of them, and after a couple minutes a ring plays over the intercom followed by Jacob’s laugh and voice.

“Hey, only you could’ve made it this far”

“That son of a bitch” Paige says, quietly.

“There is no escape Winchester” he continues.

“Come on we’re leaving” Kenny says, guiding Paige out the room into the dark hallway.

They walk down the dark hallway back to where they came from.

“Only You” plays faintly over the intercom. Panic runs through Paige, and she immediately stops dead in her tracks.

“Take her!!” she tells Kenny, holding out Cristina. He looks at her in confusion.

”What?!?” he asks.

“Take her!!!!” she exclaims, he takes her from her, the music grows louder, and she groans in pain holding her head.

“Go, just keep going!!” she pants, trying to fight the urge to pass out. They continue down the dark hallway.

“So, you’re not weak after all” Jacob’s voice says over the intercom as the music grows louder. As they’re going down the stairs, Paige trips on the last step.

“Paige come on!!, get up!!” Kenny says, trying to help her up.

“Go take her, and go!!” she exclaims.

“I’m not leaving you!!!!” he says, pulling her up.

Footsteps coming from behind them, Kenny looks up, and sees a silhouette approaching them.

He pulls out his pistol, while still holding Cristina and aims at the figure.

“What do you want?” he asks in an angry tone.

Jacob steps out of the shadows, staring at him.

Paige struggles to get up, but is able to get back on her feet, with her gun hand aiming at the elder Seed brother. “Haven’t you done enough already?!?!” she asks him, anger in her voice.

“Ooh honey it’s only just begun” he says, with a tease in his voice.

He starts to circle them, like a shark in the ocean.

She follows his movements not taking her eyes off of him.

***********************************************************

Kate loads up some guns, putting them in her car.

Wheaty approaches her, silently grabbing her waist from behind.

“Hey” he says. She looks at him. “Hey” she responds with a slight smile.

“Are you going by yourself?” he asks. She sighs “Most likely”.

“I can come with you, if you want” he says, “You sure?” she asks, looking up at him.

“Yeah, if killing John is, maybe a way for us to be together then yes”

She smiles at him “Okay”.

She finishes loading up her gear, he kisses the side of her head.

“Hey Kate!” Eli calls out. She turns around. “Yeah!!” she yells out.

“You said Paige and Kenny are at St. Francis?!” he asks.

“Yeah, they’re gonna kill Jacob!!” she yells back.

“I’ll go help them” he responds, “Is Wheaty gonna go with you?”.

“Yeah I am” he answers.

“Alright, I’m gonna go to St. Francis” that being said he leaves to the Centre.

Kate and Wheaty leave to John’s ranch

They pull into the huge driveway. For some reason there aren’t any peggies on the property.

“This is weird” she says “There’s no one on the property”.

She parks the car, they both get out, grabbing their supplies from the trunk.

She’s able to pick the lock, they enter the huge house. Old dead memories come to mind.

“Where do you think he is?” Wheaty whispers to her,

“I don’t know” she responds. Without hesitation she calls out for him “Hey John!!!!!”.

Wheaty’s eyes widened when she does this.

“What are you doing??” he whispers to her.

“Hey Johnny where are ya!!” she yells again. Wheaty regrets this but he wants to help and support her. She’s doing it the Winchester way, guns blazing. Sorta.

The whole house goes silent, and then they hear from upstairs.

“Katie?!?!!?”

Sending chills through her body, icing on the cake is his smug smile when he sees her, and his eyes move to Wheaty.

“What is that?!?” he asks, pointing to Wheaty.

Kate looks back at him, then back at John.

“Someone who won’t manipulate me, who won’t torture my sister, won’t try to have my mom killed, and better yet someone who isn’t a sadist fuck like you”.

A smile appeared on Wheaty’s face as she said this.

John groans in disgust. Making Kate roll her eyes at him.

“We all know you won’t love him like you do with me” he says, walking down the stairs.

She scoffs “That's what you think, and yeah I did love you. Not anymore”

He tilts his head to the side, and says “Really?. You seemed to love me last night when we did. Ya know?!” a smirk on his face.

She clenches her teeth in annoyance “You got me in a vulnerable state, you got lucky, and it didn’t mean shit to me”.

He smirks at her “Are you sure sweetie?. Because I was looking down at you and it looked like you were enjoying every second of it”.

Kate knows the game he’s playing, and Wheaty isn’t having any of it.

“Well you need to get over it. Because she doesn’t love you anymore, she’s with me”

John takes a few steps closer to them “Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?. Did you really think I wouldn’t know about you two? I saw your messages from last night, and the car crash you and Paige were in? Orchestrated by me. I saw the messages about you sending the Whitetails to Joseph and Jacob’s regions. That if they didn’t hear from you in 1 hour, to go to St. Francis or Joseph’s”.

Kate is livid “You motherfucker!!. You could’ve fucking killed me and my sister!!!” Wheaty tries to hold her back.

“I’m gonna be so fucking happy once I put a bullet in your fucking head” she yells again.

John looks at her in amusement, it pisses her off more.

“I thought you were different from your sister, but of course, Wrath is indeed contagious. I knew deep down it was your sin, and of course Lust. Speaking of that. Did you get tested? Any morning sickness?”.

She looks at him confused “What the fuck are you talking about?!?!”.

He sighs and says “Well my dear. I’ll just cut to the chase. I cummed inside you, I never put on the condom. So you could be holding my child in the weeks to come”

Her eyes widened, she yells again “You son of a bitch!!!!!. Now I’m gonna really fucking kill you!!!”.

John clenches his jaw “No, you’re not darling you think covering your sins will make you forget that you’re marked?. No it won’t, covering them won’t cover your sins”.

“You’re the reason why I covered them. So I wouldn’t be reminded how the man I was in love with fucking tortured me, and refused to acknowledge it”.

John knows damn well she’s talking about that demon possessing him, and forcing him to have her atone.

The sound and rumble of trucks grabs their attention, Kate, Wheaty look out the window, and see a bunch of Cultist trucks drive onto the property.

They get distracted, and John slips out the back door.

They turn around, and find John gone.

“Shit, that asshole got away” she yells. “Well time to kill some peggie fucks” she shrugs.

They run upstairs to the front windows, and shoot at the peggies.

Kate calls for backup from the Resistance, and they arrive within minutes after making the call. John takes off in his place, destroying and shooting at the Resistance’s reinforcements, Kate calls for Nick Rye.

“Hey Nick, you think you can help me kill John Seed?”

“I’ll be there” he responds, enthusiasm in his voice.

Another few minutes goes by, and she sees his yellow plane fly by.

A Cultist grabs her from behind, she turns around and stabs him in the throat. She continues to kill every Cultist she sees, and Nick takes down John’s plane.

“Oh shit!!” she yells.

She runs out the house towards the crash site. Wheaty following behind her.

Running across the airfield, she sees John’s bloodied up body, thinking he’s dead.

She reaches for the key around his neck, ripping it off of him.

Only for him to grab her wrist, and sit up like the fucking Undertaker. She was 100% he would be dead.

“Fuck!!” she yells out, getting jumpscared. “So this is how it ends?!” he wheezes out.

”For you” she responds. He coughs out blood, some of it getting on her hand.

“We could’ve been happy together!. We were meant to be together!” he says, before coughing again.

“If we were meant to be together. You would’ve never put pain on anyone. You would’ve changed for me, for us!!” she says with hate while trying to be strong.

“Look around you, look at everything that has happened. The world is on brink. Because of you. Everything we could’ve been. A happy family” he wheezes.

“Let him go, he may have treated you well. But he is no good” Paige’s words replying in her mind.

“I’m sorry John, but you and I are no more” she tells him. His grip tightens on her wrist.

“You want this key because you think you're saving people, but they were already safe. We had a plan!.” Annoyance in her voice “No John, you’re weren’t saving anyone. I save people. My family. We help people, it's our job!. I’ve been doing this since I was 6 years old, and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. Also our “unborn child” they’ll be better off without you in the picture”

Anger in his eyes “After everything. After everything I did for you!. This is how you repay me?!. For our unborn child?!” raising his voice only to cough out blood again.

“You don’t understand. You don’t believe. You don’t care!!” he lets go of her wrist before saying “May God have mercy on your soul”.

His last words to her before falling back on the ground, he stops breathing. She looks down at his lifeless body. A single tear falls from her left eye, she feels like a huge weight has been lifted from her shoulders, everything feels different. She’s still pregnant even though it's not 100% confirmed with his child. Even though it's still way too early to find out if it's true or not. She places her hand on her stomach, looking down at John. She keeps it to herself for now, clenching the key in her hand. Wheaty approaches her from behind, touching her shoulder

“You okay?” he asks. She looks up towards the evening sun set “Yeah, I’ll be fine”.

********************************************************

Paige has not taken her eyes off of Jacob, “If you’re gonna do something. I wouldn’t if I were you” she tells him. He stops in front of them, backs up disappearing into the darkness.

“Where did he go?!” Kenny asks, looking around.

“I don’t know, but I do not want to stick around” she says. They’re about to leave, and she collapses to the floor. “Only You” starts to play again.

She screams in agony, squeezing her head “Run!!! Go!!!! Get out of here!!!!!” she screams at Kenny. He runs towards the door but it won’t open, he pushes it but it still won’t budge. Paige is fighting the urge to not pass out, her vision goes red. She shakes it off.

Is Jacob’s classical conditioning starting to not have any effect on her anymore?. She gets up, turns around to find Jacob. “Paige, where are you going??” Kenny calls out.

She walks down the hallway leading outside. This ends now, everything ends now, she made a promise to herself that she would kill Jacob. Nothing will stop her until she puts a bullet in his head. Kenny follows her, trying to stop her, calling out for her but she’s too focused on killing Jacob. She’s so focused that she doesn’t even see Eli walk past her.

“Paige?!?” Eli calls out.

“Eli?!?” Kenny says, “What are you doing here??”

“I came to help, Kate said you two would be here” Eli says.

“Yeah, she’s looking for Jacob. Something snapped in her” Kenny says.

Paige makes it outside. Looking around for him.

“It's about time you came out” Jacob says.

“Yeah, well I didn’t want to keep you waiting” she says.

“Well ain’t that sweet of you Winchester” he says sarcastically.

Spotting him on top of a mountain with his obnoxiously bright red sniper.

“Why don’t you come closer, so I can see that pretty face of yours when I kill you” he says

“You’re such a flirt you know that?” she replies. He chuckles “I try”.

She looks back, sees Kenny and Eli exit the building. “You two stay back!!” she yells out. They stop dead in their tracks.

“I’m ending this right now!!” she says. “Kenny stay back with her, I don’t want her to be in the way” she adds. Kenny stays back, seeking shelter behind a tree away from everything. She moves forward, Eli taking the rear. They kill all the judges, and Jacob’s men.

After a gruesome, blood exchange of bullets.

She’s able to corner a wounded Jacob on the mountain.

She confronts him while he’s sitting on a rock, badly wounded and all bloody.

“My brother saw all this coming. I don’t know if he talks to God, that doesn’t matter. He was right. Humanity is once again in crisis" he says.

"You had it coming Jacob" Paige says, aiming her gun at him.

He continues “It doesn’t matter what we build or achieve. We will always find a way to break it down. Babylon, Rome. Empires rise, empires fall. America. We’re no different. We think we’re indestructible” he wheezes out, coughing.

She speaks her final piece to him, just to put it out there because she knows his time is very limited at that very moment.

"Just to put it out there, because I know your time is limited but you were indeed supposed to be my Godfather. My dad wrote you a letter back in September of 1994 when my mom was pregnant with me".

She pulls out the letter along with the photos, holding them out to him.

With his good hand, he reaches out to grab them.

He reads the letter, and what felt like forever.

His eyes start to get watery, as if he were having a change of heart but it's too late.

He's already lost so much blood, they both know he's gonna die.

Kenny, who is still holding Cristina, and Eli keep a distance from them.

He speaks his final words to her.

Motioning her to come closer to him, she hesitates but takes a few steps closer to him.

He grabs her arms, and says.

“I completely underestimated you. You are too much like your father, you have too much pride in what you do. Just like Joel, he always had pride, he always pushed and pushed for it. No matter what”. He lets go of her, slightly pushing her back.

“Oh boy Paige have you pushed us. And you had no fucking clue” he wheezes out before, taking his last breath. His body goes stiff, head looking down. Dying on the rock.

“Jacob?” she says. “Jacob?”.

She quickly pokes his shoulder, he’s dead. She rips the key off from around his neck, walking away from his dead body.

She grabs Cristina from Kenny, and he puts his arm around her.

They all go down the mountain, after a while they make it down.

Paige calls Kate while handing Cristina to Kenny.

“Hey how did it go?” she asks.

Kate on the other line “It went pretty good. John’s dead, Nick Rye shot his plane down, and he died from his injuries”.

She nods her head “Cool, I just killed Jacob, and pretty much the same thing, he died from his injuries. Did you hear from mom?”

Kate clears her throat “Yeah, she told me that her, Cody and Adrian went to Joseph’s compound. He wasn’t there”.

Confused, Paige asks “What do you mean he wasn’t there?!!?”.

“Mom said he left a note for us. I’ll show it to you when you get here”

“Where are you??” she asks.

“We’re by Angel’s Peak near Joseph’s statue in the Henbane River” she answers.

“Okay we’ll be there soon” she says, hanging up.

“Where are they?” Kenny asks.

“Joseph’s statue in the Henbane River, also Joseph’s isn’t at his compound”

“Really? You think he fled?” Kenny asks.

“Probably” she answers. She turns to Eli, saying

“Thank you so much for your help Eli. We pretty much own you guys big time”

“I’m glad we can help. Now with the Seeds gone everything can be peaceful around here”

“Yeah” Paige says, looking off in the distance. “Well Faith is still alive, and she basically betrayed Joseph, we’re gonna go by the statute to see what the fuck is going on over there”. They go their separate ways, Kenny and Paige steal a truck, drive to Henbane River.

Driving up the road leading to the giant eyesore of a statue that's 1000x worse than John’s YES sign.

They drive up the path, and see Mandy, Kate, Wheaty, Adrian, Cody, Nate, Mark, Martin and Faith at the base of the statue.

They get out, approaching them. “Is it done?” Mandy asks Paige. “It’s done” she replies.

She hands her the note Joseph left them. She reads it.

“To the Winchester family, I am deeply aware of what has happened to my family. My brothers are dead, my Faith has betrayed my word. I have forgiven for what Mandeline has done, I have forgiven for what Katella Evyanna has done, and I forgive Paige Hannah for what she has done. I have fled with my flock, and we will continue to prepare for the Collapse, to start our new world. You are indeed a very special family, and God has told me about you.

I wanted you to be a part of Eden’s Gate.

The Mother for Mandeline

The Baptists Wife for Katella

The Soldierette for Paige.

What your family has done for several generations. We wanted you all to be a part of our family.

- The Father Joseph Seed

She hands the note to her mother.

Her and Kate walk towards Kate’s car.

They have a sorta heart to heart conversation.

“So, how did it go?” Paige asks

Kate sighs, “It was tough but John’s dead. I feel relieved, like I don’t have this worry in me anymore”.

Paige nods her head “That’s great to hear”. Kate nods her head, and turns to her

“How did it go with you?”. Paige sighs “The same way. Jacob’s dead, and that’s all that matters”. They sit on the hood of the Monte Carlo staring off into the sunset, while the others are talking behind them.

Paige looks back, watching Faith talk with the others. She can see she has more life in her. Like she’s not afraid anymore, but Paige doesn’t know if she can trust her yet.

A gust of wind blows gently at them, making them feel at peace.

"I’m gonna have a hard time trusting her too" Kate says, looking over at Paige

“Yeah I know” she says. “She has changed a little bit” Kate adds.

Their sisterly moment is ruined when Paige asks “So about my car, Baby?!?!”.

Kate rolls her eyes “That was John’s doing, don’t worry it's not that bad. Even though she went tumbling through a field of cows and bulls, it's not that bad. It's fixable”.

She scoffs “She better be, or I’m gonna bring John back to life, just to kill him myself”

Kate laughs. They get off the car, walk around to open the trunk.

"You know even with John, and Jacob dead. There are still some peggies out there" Kate says. "Yup" Paige says, while opening the trunk.

"Joseph is still out there somewhere with his flock of Cultists" Kate says, putting her stuff in the trunk.

"Yep, he sure is and we have Faith, so I’m sure that hurts him" she replies.

“From what he said in the note. Do you think we would last in the Cult?” Kate asks.

“Nope, because we would’ve killed them all” she answers.

They look down staring into the trunk.

"And you know what that means right? Kate asks. "Yep. We got work to do" Paige says, she closes the trunk door.

THE END

#far cry 5 #john seed #jacob seed #joseph seed #faith seed #the seed family #fc5 #my ocs #paige winchester #kate winchester #mandy winchester #fc5 fandom #my writings #far cry 5 x my ocs #hope county

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anochuu · 4 years

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Tengen Uzui x Oiran!readers

⤧Oneshot

【 P.S. Tengen is not married to neither of his wives here.】

It began when (y/n) notices the fairly handsome man who first came to the teahouse she is working in as a customer; he sat down surrounding the dais she will perform her musical talent. She stare from the afar- he have hair as white as snow that is always tied back, he is rather bulky-well,she mean muscular-build body with lightly-tanned skin.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

She whirl around to see her ‘Mother’ glaring fiercely down at her form, perfect with all her make-up and organic silk kimono.Despite her age, she seems very charismatic and captivating in men’s eyes.

“The performance is about to begin and you still find yourself lounging around?”

She bows, “i'm sorry,i'll start preparing soon.”

“I expect at least one or two customers asking for you tonight is that clear?”

She gulps, “What if they..refuse?”

“Are you joking with me? then pursue them until they want you!” She affirmed rudely, smoking the kiseru pipe between her fingers that she must have gotten it as a present from one of her loyal customer.

“Yes,i am sorry Mother.”

She clicked her tongue, “Call me ‘Mother’ when you are not useless anymore.” before walked past her by,leaving the (h/c) haired girl in silence again. Pain? no, that feeling has long gone inside her heart and it was replaced by numbness.

What did i do to deserve her hatred?

She got back to her feet and proceed to the back of the room to prepare what she will be doing next for the night as she usually does.

She tied and styled her hair up not forgetting to decorate them, her face painted white and lips painted in deep red, accentuating it. Her performance began when the curtain slides open revealing all eyes instantly on her form by the middle of the hall and even the blinding light shone upon her.As the curtains rose, her heart accelerated. Centre-stage, she stood with her head held high and her hands stretched to the sky, as if in submission.

She was never this nervous before, but all because of just one man.

When the traditional instruments began to played in the background, she begins to dance. It was graceful,captivating every movements tells how delicate a woman can be, but as well headstrong and confident, one look and they all know she is very fluent in this dance; she is communicating with the audiences without uttering words- but with looks and the moves of her body or hands.

She stole glances every time she had the chances to,towards the only man who have the most intense maroon pair of eyes that now is clearly staring deep into her making her feel giddy all at once.He sat there with a look she could not read,or what thoughts he may be having about something.

He is undoubtedly handsome. He look so much like a child when he laughed with his friends earlier but now, he seems completely like a different man-the looks that made her feel like a prey under his intense gaze.

Even throughout the whole performance when she played the shamisen, he never leave his eyes off of her. What is he looking so serious for? Does he want her? Just by imagining him she feels the pit of her stomach churns with butterflies roaming inside even when she does not recall eating any of them.

When the performance ends, she takes a gander over her shoulder to the man and to her surprise, he had a gentle smile on him that made her grew flustered.

Did he just smile at me? or maybe i mistaken it?

Then,it continues.

He became a regular in the teahouse not that she is complaining but it's been a while she felt very nervous playing the music and dancing in front of a crowd. Once in a while she can obviously feel his eyes on her even when she is off duty and to serve as a waitress by the dining hall.

Even so,he never made a move and she would certainly be lying if she was to said she is not disappointed.

She enjoys watching him though it may come off a little creepy. She loves it when he had fun with his friends he brought in together often;especially the man with lively yellow coloured hair who shares the same eccentric style as he does. But he too,frequently visits only in his normal yukata and let his white hair loose.That look almost made the female dropped the tray in her hands.

The first time they interacted was during the time she was grabbed by a group of drunken men inside the teahouse who refuse to cooperate with the rules.

“I suggest take your hands off the lady at once.”

She whipped her head around to see him in all his gloriousness light saving the damsel in distress,easily twists their arms when they tried to deliver punches to him. And from the way he fights calmly, she is sure he is no ordinary man.

“Thank you..”

He send her another assuring smile, “Next time, just hit their head off with the teapot.” and he meant the one in her hand. Well,she did thought of that but what will her cruel Mother said?

In that exact moment, (y/n) couldn't believe she had feelings for a mere stranger.

When it has been more than a week of his absence, (y/n) is beyond sad and worried when he had stopped showing up. She didn't see him during her performance that he never missed before, nor in her off days she couldn't spot him in the restaurant no matter how long she waited until hours are off.

“I heard the number of the demons rises just in a night!”

“Hells, what will be the fate of humans? what has the demon hunters been doing?”

“At this point, we can only pray to Gods.”

The talks only increases when she overheard the customers between drinking and it only made her even more anxious.

Is the man alright? is he somewhere safe?

She can only hope.

The silence woke her that one particular night.

She does not remember when she fell asleep but she did remember what happened before that made her so. She looks down at her own disheveled form-there are bruises, bites and even finger marks left by a strong grip from another customer around her wrists and hips.

She never felt so dirty in all her lives.

Her (h/c) locks cascades over her back as she slowly rose to sit,grabbing the kimono on the side to wrap her bare self around with it.The night is too cold after all.

The gentle wind blew nipping through her exposed skin,multiple sakura petals flew around the room and she realised she forgot to slide the door to the veranda closed giving access to the backyard.

She shifts closer to the edge of the door,looking up to the only friend she have; the moon-that looks just as lonely as she does. The quietness allow her mind to wander off vacantly that made the girl wanted to burst in tears, screaming her overbearing pain out loud but she couldn't;at least there is not one who listens to her,not even her own Mother.

So all she did was sobbing quietly,letting the droplets of tears coursing down her fatigued cheeks. Every time she closes her eyes all she can think about was the man with the maroon eyes. He seemed so perfect-was a charming being like him even permitted to walk on the face of earth?

“Beautiful maiden, why do you look so glum? A sullen face will only destroy your beauty.”

She opened her eyes quickly and look up to the sound of the silvery voice. n outline, a shadow stood before her.The feeling returned-the feeling she is too familiar with now. Unconsciously she reached her hand out and brushed the shadow with her fingertips to make sure she is not hallucinating.

But the feeling of warm skin sent shivers down her spine. She suddenly felt firm ,calloused hands lacing their fingers with hers that made her heart almost stopped at the contact.

“How’d you find me..?” she whispered, she is not dreaming.

A low chuckle escaped from his lips, “Such beauty is impossible to lose sight of.” he replied.

Tengen leaned closer allowing her to breathed in his scent she is dying about,to create an everlasting memory.

“I..” She hesitated for a second, “I missed you.” trail off softly.

His full face came to view with the help of the full,bright moon tonight as if purposely just for them. His pair of maroon eyes she ever so loved gazed into hers. He scans the bruises on her skin that felt bitter,rousing the anger in his burning mind to kill whoever hurt her-to slit their throats with his blade and made sure they bleed to death slow—

But his mind snapped out of its own thought when he felt her shaky hands cupped his face,her thumbs delicately brushed across his cheekbones. It was like a dream. He is finally with her,alone.

As if knowing what he is thinking when he clearly shows it in his eyes, she assures him gently, “I’m okay.I’m okay now that you're here..”

His eyes fell wistfully, drew closer until his lips were only a fragment away.Lost in the gaze she had dearly missed-she wounded her arms around his neck before dragging him down with her as her back met the softness of the tatami floor.

A sin she thought she will never commit,it was undeniable. She was in love with this beautiful stranger...

#uzui tengen #kny tengen #demon slayer tengen #kny uzui #kimetsu no yaiba uzui #demon slayer #demon #Kimetsu no Yaiba #demon slayer kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu anime #kimetsu manga #anime

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