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#literally in hell rn i just want to be alone and scream and cry and i cant get ahold of these fucks and im literslly abt to spend $400 on
ratboy Β· 10 months
Text
🫠
#getting a lot of mileage out of this emoji recently#anyways vent incoming and idc abt spelling im just yelling#uhh fucking havent heard back from the apt ppl yet and so im still couch surfing with my fiance at a partners place#and oh my god i just want my own bedroom this is awful i hate it i hate it i hate it im screaming and pissing and shitting all over the wall#literally in hell rn i just want to be alone and scream and cry and i cant get ahold of these fucks and im literslly abt to spend $400 on#my stupid shit ass car that my dad still makes me pay for and im literally like sir this car is increasingly worth negative money#i literally cant fucking afford to pay all this stupid shit bc im getting no hours at work bc we might move any day now and my boss doesnt#want to scramble for coverage if i leave suddenly but oh my god i cannot afford to live like this any longer#i literally called that stupid apt complex at least 15 times today and i didnt get an answer and their mailbox was full!!!! for some goddamn#reason like literally how are you this bad#either neither of them were in today or their phones were off or something bc the other place i called picked up right away sooooo#im literally going to wake up at 730 just to fucking call these bitches so i can get an answer but if we dont qualify for some#goddamn reason im going to actually commit myself bc i cant fucking do this#cant afford rent with just 2 of us bc were too disabled for full time but not disabled enough for ssi#america is a goddamn joke and im thr punching bag
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arminsumi Β· 8 months
Note
HEAR ME OUT JAYβ€” i’ve also been on a gojo kick too😩 i literally have no medical knowledge but thinking of gojo x reader angsty where he has to set one of our broken bones after a battle lowk has me giggling and kicking my feet UGEHHEHEHE
take your time w requests!! take care of yourself, lysm thank you sosososoosos much🫢🏻🫢🏻
blood n' bone.
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note: hey honeypie!! yeah istg gojo has a death grip on my mind the dude doesn't let me think of anyone else rn. anyways, i have little medical knowledge on this too but i tried my best !!
warnings β€” lowercase used, injury ( knee dislocation, bone setting ), blood visuals, angst ( with fluff, happy ending πŸ‘ ), he calls u angel, i think it might be implied fem reader ??
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" are you okay ?! aβ€”re you hur β€” oh shit, fuckfuckfuck that's bad. that's bad... okay. um. just breathe. just breathe! don't worry, you ain't gonna die sweetheart. look at me, ok β€” question. do you trust me ? "
" what on earth do you plan to do ? " you ask gojo wearily.
you look at him, the pain fogs your mind. it's so painful; a blinding, piping white hot pain, one that singes all your senses. it's all you focus on until you look into those soothing blue eyes.
he's hovering over you, eyeing out your knee and the gory scene of your battle-bloodied body. he's got your blood on his hands already. it hurts his heart more than anything to see you in pain.
part of him hates you, because if you had just listened to him and stayed out of this battle, then this wouldn't have happened. but you were so stubborn about staying at his side. and then part of him is thankful, because he didn't want to be alone, he didn't want to be without his girl just in case he didn't make it out alive. he didn't want someone else to come to you and bear the news that he's not coming home. gojo was selfish; if he died, he wanted to take you with him.
but he was fine. you were fine. well, "fine" besides the fact your knee was dislocated.
" do you trust me or not ? " he asks again.
" yes. " you say truthfully. of course you did, he's been your one and only since birth; the gojo clan and your clan were intertwined by fate. you and him have been in each other's lives since you were toddlers throwing tantrums.
there's a memory that comes to gojo when he places his calloused hands on your knee. it's a memory from his childhood with you.
one day, you fell and scraped your knees. gojo found you curled up, crying alone in an alley. " what the hell ? why didn't you come find me ? let's go back to my house. i'll carry you. yes of course i can carry you ! i'm stronger than you ! "
he takes his blindfold and puts it in your mouth, " need you to bite on this, angel. "
" hmmmf ?! " the reality of what he was about to do set in. but how could it be more painful than the dislocation itself?
there's no question that he can set your bone. he's the strongest; of course he can.
you watch his bicep muscles flex, his grip firm. he hesitates, breathe ragged like he's nervous. then you hear a loud pop and instantly scream blue murder into the fabric; it doesn't really do a good job of muffling the sound. it pierces gojo's heart.
" angel, angel β€” look at me. breathe. it's okay. i've got you. it's alright. it's really alright. angel ? there, just stay in my arms like th-this. you're okay now. i know it hurts, but you're okay. " his hair is messy, your blood is all over him, and you yourself look chaotic; but still you look beautiful to him. your face comforts him like no other; he's always had excited pangs in his chest when you walk into a room or show up at a battle.
he's always shared your pain. he's a highly sensitive, emotional boy but conceals it well; when you're in pain, he's in pain. when you're sad, he's sad. when you're happy, he's happy. and hence, if you would have died, he would have died. you're tied together by an invisible thread, the two of you couldn't escape each other even if you wanted to. at times, you hated how you always found your way back to him; especially when you and him had that fallout in your twenties after your dating life interfered with your friendship.
but your hostility towards each other ended, of course it did. and now you and him were always at each other's side. handholding, just like when you were kids exploring your little village.
" let's go home. " he murmurs, soothing you with his voice and the gentle feeling he radiated.
" i can't walk. " you mumble, " it hurts. "
" i'll carry you. "
" we're not little kids anymore, you can't carry me. "
" what the hell ! of course i can carry you; i'm the strongest. "
you smile, remembering that memory only now. " you're right. you are. "
his heart flutters hearing you agree for the first time. of course you always knew he was the strongest, it was indisputable. but you liked to tease him.
" better believe it . . . now wrap those arms 'round my neck. "
he wears a stupid, proud smile on his face while he carries you. when you're home, you feel extremely grateful.
" it's good to be home, huh, satoru ? " you say, knee bandaged and propped up.
he's given you pain medication by now. there's the background noise of the TV, and golden afternoon light sieving through the sheer curtains.
" home is wherever you are. " he says earnestly.
whenever he says things like this, it's always in a soft voice, almost like he's too shy to let you know his true feelings.
you feel warm, homely; and so does he.
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Β© arminsumi
Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.
Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
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hischierswhore Β· 1 year
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Christian Pulisic x singer!Reader smau (part 4)
the final part of the mini smau series. yes, i’m aware that the title says Christian & not Mason. there’s a reason :)
faceclaim: Madison Beer
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yourusername
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liked by cmpulisic, benchilwell, and 5,019,927 others
yourusername city of love 🫢🏼
view all 102,837 comments
cmpulisic i want pic creds
yourusername no.
masonsfuturewife she moved on fast πŸ˜‘
y/nsluver bffr. it’s been 7 months. get over it.
yourbestfriend i miss u
y/nfan7 slay
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
y/nupdates
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liked by y/nsluver, y/nfan4, and 129,265 others
y/nupdates Y/n & Christian via each other’s instagram stories.
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y/nfan7 ima be honest, i wouldn’t be mad if they were together. he seems like he’s such a sweetheart and he seems to treat her well
y/nsluver why do i kinda ship tho…
pulisicsgirl6 i personally feel like they’d make a better couple then her & m****
masonsfuturewife so mason can’t cheat on her but she can date his bestfriend after their breakup? so hypocritical
natisdelusional first of all, nobody ever said they were together. they’ve been close even before Christian met Mason. secondly, if they are together, she didn’t cheat. Mason did. there’s a difference. you’re just blinded.
yourbestfriend natisdelusional i’m so glad someone else said it for once and not me🀣
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
cmpulisic
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liked by masonmount, benchilwell, and 2,938,192 others
cmpulisic she wanted a hug
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yourusername you literally ASKED me to hug you because you were cold…
cmpulisic you have no proof of that
pulisicsgirl1 wait maybe they are together???
benchilwell she’s clinging to your arm like a koala🀣
pulisfuturewife i know i’m a Puli fan acc, but i think we lost herπŸ˜”
y/nsluver THAT SHOULD BE ME
yourbestfriend hey yourusername left your OTHER best friend here… alone… waiting for you to come back…
cmpulisic you’ll be fine
yourusername you’ll survive
y/nfan8 NOT MASON LIKING THIS POSTπŸ’€
y/nsfuturewife i hope he’s screaming & crying rn
y/nfan3 β€œand i hope it hurts like hell”
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yourusername
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liked by cmpulisic, sabrinacarpenter, and 8,937,262 others
yourusername youuuu make me feel like a teenager in loveeee
tagged: cmpulisic
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cmpulisic oh we’re still doing the song lyric thing?
cmpulisic how about… β€œand you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me”
yourusername im proud of u for referencing mother
yourbestfriend i’m not even lying guys, i wasn’t expecting this either
y/nsluver FINALLY
sabrinacarpenter so happy for you, girly 🫢🏼
y/nupdates you look so happyπŸ₯Ή
cartiamallan you haven’t been this happy in a long time. so happy for u 🀍
y/nfan5 she finally got her happy ending awwπŸ₯Ή
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that’s it for the smau mini series for now! if i happen to think of (or if one of you can come up with a good concept) i may or may not continue this. i’m a sucker for some bestfriends to lovers so this was just me being a bit self indulgent 🀭
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flourjaemin Β· 8 months
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rating nct 127 fact check highlight medley
I ALREADY NOW THE BRIDGES ARE GONNA BE SOME HEAVEN CREATED DRUG INFUSED MASTERPIECES SO IM JUST PREPARING FOR THE ALBUM AND THE LYRICS BOUT TO BE UNREAL!
fact check - SOTY it’s giving me like a treasure song and i like it. YUTA~ BRO GETTING TOE CURLING LINES TAEEEEEE BRO I CANT WAIT FOR THE CHOREOGRAPHY 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫 10/10
space - JUNGWOO PLS and the backing tracking sounds so freaking cool amazing. wait it’s giving me a just dance song? and then YUTA~ saxophone guys… deeper? 😳 wdym there babe I LIKE IT ITS NOT NCT BUT LIKE I LIKE IT 9.99/10
parade - this was in the first teaser we saw and it’s actually a dope sound. raining money anthem fr. 9/10
angel eyes - some old 70 jingle in the back.. this is literally a coming of age song idc if you say otherwise. it’s beautifuls child. nct 2021 beautiful had a child and it was angel eyes. the ROCK-NESS TO IT AND JUNGWOO OK THAT. okay im fitting my napkin in my shirt, holding the fork and knife and ready to munch on his the minute it is released. I WANNA BE EMO 11/10
yacht - cute little stupid little trumpet part ❀️BABY KEEP MY COOL? YUTA YOU GOT ME RUNNING UP THE WALL BECAUSE OF HOW NERVOUS UR MAKING ME.. imma bang your @$$ till noon that is insanely disgusting… i hope im just having hearing loss. MOON~~~~~ sparkles….. you already know where im at ADDING THIS ‼️ awww like a cute summer song im sobbing on my bathroom floor. MARKVIWJEJFJWJ MARK AND HAECHAJ SINGING AT THE SAME TIME PLS J NEED THIS IN MY LIFE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE I NEED IT…. the lyrics im catching up on are so CUTEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 YAS SPARKLE CITY JKDJDJEJEJEJEJEJDJDJDJDJFJJFUCJRJEJIGIEJWKXIHEJWUFHEJEFJCUIWJER 1909389/10
je ne sais quoi - you don’t know why what nct 127? yes i speak french. im holding my back as we speak. i’m afraid this is going to be the throwing back song. GOT THE SAUCE OR SUS? gasps i love it. OML OML OML OML JAEHYUN WTF. it’s sauce, taeyong said it oml 😫 10/10
love is a beauty - nervous. sorry i just had to swim back to my phone as i was floating away. WTF KIM DOYOUNG YOU CANT BE SINGING LIKE AN ANGEL AND NOT EXPECT ME TO RETURN TO HEAVEN LIKE WHAT. bro im pausing. taking breaks. i’m withering every minute i don’t have this is my music library. SH IT UP. just going to delete every song i own and just have this song ❀️. i need this song rn. JWJFUUEUEBDHEURHDH SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUT SH IT UP JUGNWOO OML OML OML TAE MY TAE awwwwwwwww. can you leave me alone jeong jaehyun, stop having an addictive voice. JUNGEOOOOOOOOOOO β€œno no~” yep im gonna tattoo that onto my body. I LOVE IT. i love this NCT 127 I LOVE YOU. love is a beauty and i can’t take this anymore. THIS IS MY sOMG MY SONG NO NO NO NO NO THE END I CANT THE GUITAR OML IM GONNA SCREAM πŸ˜±πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­β€οΈβ€οΈβ€ΌοΈ11/10
misty: forgot about writing. i literally just cried. am i even allowed to listen to these song? these are all made for higher life forms.. i don’t feel deserving of these beautiful songs…. It’s just so beautiful. i just want to live in peace and sit at the beach and watch as the world revolves around me as i am in so much peace. JAJSJDIEJEIRIRJDJFJDJDJJDDJJEJE JOHNNY JUMP ACARES HUH HUBHU HUH AFTER THE STORM WHAT DO YOU SAY AFTER HOHNNY OML THIS IS TOOO MUCH W HSJEJSJDNDNS the piano i cry at the sight of a piano how the hell are you going to play a piano in a beautiful song. pls. 10/10
real life: this reminds me of another song i can’t really pin point……… idk but i really like it but i want to heard more of it 😭 JOHNNY OK THR CHORUS OK OK OK 9/10
overall im gonna have to have a talk with nct and ask them how they continue to release banger after banger. i expect great things for this comeback and can’t wait to see what happens. thank you. (NWJFJUEJE)
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saiki-k-innie Β· 3 years
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MAEMAE!
An AU where Todoroki gets hit with a quirk which divides him into two people. The red hair Shoto is the flirty sassy half and the white one is the cold (ukwim) Todoroki (see what I did there? 'Shoto' and 'Todoroki',,,,,,,sorry). You don't know how it happened; you were literally besides him when it happened but ???
So now you gotta deal with it and watch out for the Todoroki's so Endeavor doesn't notice and skins everyone alive.
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Ruth ur gonna kill me- IN A GOOD WAY i've just never written Todoroki before and this is going to be a challenge. I'm eager to do it though, I have seen so much fanart where Todoroki has been split into two people--- [also yes i see what you did there-- very clever ;) ] anyway, lets see how this goes!
I’m going to do a full on fic without headcanons because that feels more natural for this request.Β 
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Part of a Whole
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Anime: My Hero Academia Character(s): Shoto Todoroki, Eijiro Kirishima, and Katsuki Bakugou Legend (y/n = your name): gender neutral reader, quirk not mentioned, Pro Hero AU Word Count: 1.4k Warnings: none, slight cursing, flirty TodorokiΒ  Notes: OUT OF CHARACTER TODOROKI!!! Yeah i’ve never written him before and now writing him split in half? DAMN ITS HARD!Β  I’m wracking my brain trying to remember his mannerisms and behavior, then polarize it.Β 
I will also maybe redo Todoroki’s banner because OH MY GOD i hate it so much and its off center im going to cry but i don’t have time to fix it rn
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Endeavor is going to kill me.
You stand speechless. The battle was continuing around you, but it fell on deaf ears. Mouth hanging slightly open, you look at Todoroki. Well, Todorokis now. You blink. Nope, still two of them.Β 
Fuck.
Todoroki had split in two. One sported a full head of fiery red hair and looked like he was ready to take on the world. The other had beautiful white locks hiding downcast eyes. Your gaze lingered on the second Todoroki. He slowly raised his snowy head and his soft grey eyes pierced your skull. The amount of hatred that came from his eyes- you knew it wasn’t because of you, but it was enough to snap you out of your daze.Β 
You whip your head around and check the surroundings. Nobody had noticed, but you couldn’t spot what had caused the split. Your partners look like they have the situation handled relatively well.Β  They rounded up the villains, but of the ones that were caught, you didn’t think any of them did it.Β 
"OI, RED RIOT” you call out to your former classmate, now pro hero. When you have his attention, you continue;Β β€œSHOTO AND I NEED TO GO, LIKE RIGHT NOW. I WILL EXPLAIN LATER, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?”
He smiles and hits his fists together,Β β€œOf course, y/n!!!! You did great, go do what you need to do!”
β€œDon’t think that you will get out of paperwork you extra!!!!!” you hear Dynamight yell over to you.Β 
Shoving theΒ β€˜rokis out of sight, you laugh and assure Bakugou that you will be doing your fair share. You take off the top layer of your costume and use it to cover the firey Todoroki’s hair and shoulders.Β 
β€œWe need to get out of here,” you tell the twins quickly, but they were still getting a grip on their new forms.Β 
β€œOh, y/n~~ so eager to leave the fight? That’s not very heroic... </3β€³ the redhead teases while you fix the cloak around his head. He leans closer to you, just centimeters away from your face.Β β€œSo desperate to be alone with me... I guess I can make an exception...” 
You do a double-take. What. The. Hell. Was Todoroki... flirting with you??? You give the garment a rough tug to make sure it was secure and push him away.Β β€œWe don’t have time for this. Let’s go.” You look past the now-pouting Todoroki over to the silver one.Β β€œAre you okay?” 
β€œI’m fine.”
Brushing off his coldness, you start walking into a nearby alleyway. They both follow you, but the ice king keeps his distance. The other, you couldn’t shake if you tried. Lucky you.
β€œY/n~~” the redhead savored your name like honey right off the comb.Β β€œYou have such a beautiful name, I could get used to saying it more often ;)” 
You hear a scoff from behind you. Biting back laughter, you navigate the alleyways and side streets, heading for your nearby apartment. As you walk, you adjust your hero costume and tend to your wounds. The twins were miraculously unscathed.Β 
You feel a pair of silver eyes on you as you struggle to dress your injuries. Without a word, you feel his cold hands on you and you stop in your tracks. He doesn’t look at you once while he’s helping you with the medical supplies he carries in his hero costume. As soon as he’s finished, he started walking away. It reminded you of how he was when you first met him. Smiling, you continued on.Β 
What could have caused this? you think to yourself. You retrace the events of the battle in your head. There were five villains, all very powerful. Kirishima and you were dealing with two of them, but trying to keep the civilians safe at the same time. Todoroki and Bakugou had taken three of them head-on. It was so hectic, that you just had to trust your teammates that they would be okay, you had so much to do. It was when Todoroki had been split from the group that it happened.Β 
//
β€œIt was a mistake to try to take down the top heroes,” you chided the villain you had subdued.Β β€œWhat a shame, what a shame...” When you had finished tying the villain up, you signaled Red Riot that you had finished up. You were running to help the others since you had taken your opponent down relatively easily when a flash of light caught your eye. You switched directions, remembering that Todoroki was fighting in that area last you checked.Β 
Avoiding the debris that was falling around you thanks to Dynamight, you quickly found the source of the light. There, behind an overturned bus shelter, were the Todorokis.Β  They both looked dazed but were slowly regaining consciousness. You were so taken by the situation that you forgot that you were fighting villains. Your objective immediately turned to helping them instead of the fight around you. All you could think about is what will happen to you if Endeavor finds out.Β 
//
Looking back, you should have assessed the situation quicker and identified the quirk user before tending to the twins. Todoroki is tough. It will take more than a strange quirk to really hurt him, but you had always been protective of him. Something in the way his eyes gleamed when he used his fire and the tone he would talk in when he was serious. Well, more serious than he was normally. He had always been there for you and you were there for him, whether he wanted you or not.Β 
You deduced that this was the effect of a quirk, and it should wear off soon. You estimated that the longest it could stay like this was a week. It would probably wear off in his sleep, but you were curious to see what it looked like wearing off.Β 
Looking back at the twins, who were now chatting with each other. Well, it was more like the redhead was doing all the talking. He had draped himself over the silver-eyed boy and was talking about a new topic every sentence. The icy boy felt your gaze on him and looked up at you. His expression may have seemed indifferent to anyone looking, but you could read his body language like a book. He was practically screaming at you to get the other off of him. You smile and laugh at the situation. He rolls his eyes and slides his foot forward and sends ice in your direction. You jump out of the way and stick out your tongue playfully. If it wasn’t for your training with him, you would have gotten hit. It was just like old times. That sure was Todoroki, albeit a lot more guarded. and, well, cold.Β 
The other noticed your interaction and perked up.Β β€œHey, y/n, me and myself were talking” he nudges the other, hoping he would recognize his joke, but the pale boy just kept walking. Rolling his teal eyes, he continued,Β β€œYou can call me Shoto like you usually do when we are alone, but call him Todoroki so you can address us specifically!!!” He runs up to you and gets uncomfortably close and whispers β€œ~~ I’ve always liked how my name sounds coming out of your pretty little mouth.”
You swing your fist at him but he catches your wrist and uses your momentum to pull you closer into a hug. He lifts your chin up and says in a sultry voice,Β β€œwe can’t have that, can we darling?” he tuts and was about to say something else when Todoroki separated you two and flipped his other self onto the concrete. Shoto surprisingly didn’t fight back but just hopped up onto his feet and continued talking to his twin like nothing happened.Β 
Eventually, you find the back entrance to your apartment building. You remove the firey boy from your arm, blocking out all of his advances as you get closer to the door. He huffs as you punch in the passcode to the door. Todoroki had been over to your apartment a million times, you paired up pretty frequently, not to mention you two were really close. You had been since high school.Β 
You hold the door open for the silvery twin, and as he walks past you could feel the temperature go down, but not from his quirk. This was going to be fun.Β 
And by fun, you meant torturous.Β 
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george-fabian-weasley Β· 3 years
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if we had 5 more minutes β€” f. w.
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Summary: You thought you could save Fred from the rumbles of falling stones; you did your best, only to be in the rumbles with him instead.
Words: 2,160 words
Warnings ⚠ : ANGST, TW: Death, TW: Battle of Hogwarts, TW: war, TW: injuries, Fred died, you died, big Painβ„’, I strongly suggest tissues and a dozen of comfort chocolates, I cried so you will too, Basically An Emotional Rollercoaster, Read At Your Own Risk
Disclaimer: inspired by Billie Eilish's cover of The End of The World, so... ya'll know this is going to be a painful ride. Buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy. Reblogs and Comments are Highly Appreciated! <3 p/s: reading this with the song at the background really helps with the tear pouring effect ;)
Disclaimer 2.0: i know what yall are thinking... what tf is syaf doing, posting a fic when she’s in a hiatus she just posted yesterday? Also where is mad hatter chap 5 and epilogue? well, my brain likes to conjure up ideas at very inappropriate times (like rn) so bare with me and uh i’ve been really physically and mentally exhausted from work (retail is bathshit crazy) to write the mad hatter series so idk when will i update the two chapters but i’m working on it! thank you for being patient, and im sorry for causing you guys to wait for so long, ilysm don’t kill me <3Β 
masterlist! | general taglist! | buy me a coffee!
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The end of the world.
The Battle of Hogwarts looked like the end of the world. Curses and spells thrown left to right, different kinds of bodies found at each corner and crook, walls here and there crumbling as down as hope for freedom. And blood.
At that point of time, the pools of blood on the floor look the same; pureblood or not. Because they bleed the same anguish red.
You didn't need to see the apocalypse of the world anymore. Screw the end of Mother Earth; this battle in front of your eyes was more than enough β€” sadly β€” to be your end of the world.
β€œHey,” You called, causing Fred to turn his head around to your direction, his lips etched up a smile before replying with another hey. You sat next to him, the place where George had sat before he got up and left to speak with Professor Lupin.
Evil is winning, and good is losing. But then again, what difference would it make; if good kills as many as evil? At the end of the world, there is no good and evil alone. There are desperation, madness, and hunger for power, lust for victory brought along with them.
So, at the end of the world, you chose to be side by side with your lover, Fred Weasley. The red-headed dork you’ve taught yourself to pour your love into had become the very source of your life. He is your elixir, he is your soul, heart, and happiness.
It was silent for a while, none of you had anything to say. Yet the silence was comforting, with only the presence of each other as calming as it is. β€œY/N,” Fred suddenly turned his head to you, biting his lower lip in contemplation. β€œHm?” β€œCan you just stay at the Burrow?” 
You blinked, β€œWhat?” Fred sighed, β€œCan you just stay at the Burrow right now and not join the war? I- I don’t want you to join in-” β€œFred-” β€œI-It’s dangerous and it’s literally a war a-and I don’t want you to get hurt I would- I would rather die than have you hurt-” 
β€œFred!” You raised your voice, your hand clasping onto his securely, an effort to calm his frenzied thoughts. He stopped rambling and stared at you with those doe eyes you adored so much, β€œYou know I can’t do that.”
β€œWe need everyone on board for this war. I am no exception- bloody hell, even your parents are joining in, Freddie!” You tried to explain slowly, and Fred closed his eyes in denial of defeat.Β 
β€œI love you,” he suddenly blurted out. He noticed the slight fluster you had, your eyebrows were raised for a millisecond before they furrowed upon a realization, β€œWait, why are you saying this now? I-β€œ β€œI love you, Y/N,” he repeated himself and you shook your head, realizing what he was doing, β€œWait, hold on a minute, no-β€œ
He was saying it in case anything happens.
β€œY/N, I love you-” β€œDon’t you dare say it one more time like you’re not gonna make it, Fred Weasley, I swear to Merlin,” You cut him off, your jaw clenching at his absurdness. β€œβ€¦ Aren’t you gonna say it back?” Fred asked, his voice was small.
β€œI-” You sighed, β€œNo, I won’t because I don’t want to say it right now, given the circumstances,” You paused, your voice quieting down, β€œIt felt like a goodbye when you say it like that.” β€œThen when will you say it? We’ve been dating for almost a year and you'd never say it before,” He said.
β€œReally? This is the time to argue about this?” You gave him a pointed look, but your expression softened as you understood the meaning behind his actions. β€œLook, Freddie, I- You know how I feel about us,” You sighed, looking down at your hands on your lap, β€œYou know I’m not that expressive with my words but- but I’m trying and- okay, let’s make a deal,” Fred’s ears perked up the mention of a deal. "I'm listening," he drawled.
β€œI’ll say the words when the war is over,” Fred gave you a sour look that clearly said β€˜really?’ and it caused you to huff a smile, β€œOnce everything is over, and everything is okay again, I’ll say them as many times as you want me to, okay?” Fred leaned into your touch as you cupped his cheek with your hand, kissing his forehead.
β€œEven if I made you say it a thousand times?” He asked and you chuckled, your heart warming at his childlike question, β€œI’ll say it for an hour if you asked me to.”
It happened so fast.
One second you were fighting off the Death Eaters with Percy and Fred, and then the other, you find your body aching at the major pressure from the rocks and debris that used to be Hogwarts’ protective wall from the outside world.
It was dark, and it was dusty, but you were too unconscious to notice. That was until you felt your cheek being patted a few times. As you gained consciousness with a cough or two, you also gained the pending pain spreading all across your whole body. You couldn’t feel your legs, or safe to say your whole lower body part.Β 
Memories of you a few moments ago trying to push Fred away from the rumbles but ended up facing the falling stones head-on with him instead began to flow back into your mind. How foolish could you be to act like a hero, as if you could sacrifice yourself for him to live.
β€œβ€¦ Y-Y/N…”
You turned your head with a silent grunt, and your eyes fixate at the body beside you, a few feet away, Fred.Β 
He had blood leaking from his nose and ears, probably from the impact, and his face was dusty with debris from the stones. As he looked at you, he threw you a smile; a weak, hiding the fact that he’s in immense pain kind of smile.
β€œF-fancy seeing you here,” he grunted with a wince, a smile nevertheless rested on his lips. β€œFred…” you could only mutter his name, closing your eyes for a brief second at the growing pain on your thighs. The pressure from the rumbles had slowly increased, and you felt yourself losing consciousness again. Only to be brought back to open your eyes as Fred poked your cheeks a few more times, β€œHey, hey, s-stay with me, love.”
β€œWe’ll… We’ll be okay.”
You winced at the trickling sensation on your skin as you tried to move your fingers towards him, β€œIt’s… It’s impossible, Fred…” You voiced out, your voice cracking up. You saw Fred’s lips quivered before he threw you another comforting smile, β€œDon’t… Don’t say that. We’ll make it… I-I know we will.”
β€œWe… We will?”
Groaning from the injuries on his body as he tried to move closer to you, he nodded, β€œWe will.”
You felt his fingers trying to reach for yours, and you handed him assistance as you hooked your fingers with his. His hand was cold, trembling. But it was Fred’s. And Fred’s hand is always warm.
β€œIt’s… It’s so heavy,” You whimpered in pain, looking at Fred for comfort. All Fred wished to do at the moment was to be strong enough. Strong enough to push off these rumbles pressing onto his body. Strong enough to pull you out from the pain. All he wished for was for you to not be in pain anymore. But he knew he couldn’t do anything. The rumbles were too big, too heavy, and it would take a while for anyone to find them at the bottom of everything.Β 
Fred breathed out heavily through his mouth, slowly finding it difficult to breathe through his nose anymore, trying his best to look strong for you, β€œStay with me, love. S-stay with me. Five more minutes. F-five more minutes and they’ll- they’ll save us…”
β€œFred…”
β€œFive more minutes, I promise…”
You saw the desperation in his eyes, trying his best to somehow keep you afloat until you two are saved. You heard muffles from the other side, Percy screaming for Fred and you. His screams were sad and painful to hear; you would’ve cried for him if it wasn’t for the constant high-pitched ringing in your ears.
β€œFred, h-hold my hand. P-please,” You whispered, finding no more strength to say anything louder than a whisper. He instantly intertwined your fingers with his, stretching as far as he could to reach you; no matter how screeching the pain in his lower body was.
β€œFred,” You called him again. He chuckled a bit, β€œYou’re… you’re saying my name a lot of times right now, darling.” You huffed a smile, the corner of your lips twitched, β€œβ€¦ I want to ask you something.”
β€œβ€¦ Anything.”
Your eyes met his, even in the darkness, his eyes still managed to look so beautiful. So earthly beautiful. β€œβ€¦ Are you happy, Freddie?”
There was something about the way you say it, Fred couldn’t get a touch of what it was but… it felt like a goodbye. As much as Fred hated to admit, he wasn’t holding on much longer either. He was bleeding heavily from everywhere, his wand was out of his reach, and his body was starting to numb. His vision began to blur by itself, hence he blinked his eyes repeatedly. Trying his best to see your features clearly, one last time, if the worst happens.
This is it, he thought. This is the end of my line.Β 
Finding an urge to cry, but didn’t have enough strength to sob, Fred let out a tear or two onto the dusty surface he laid his head on, his eyes closing after the content stare of your beautifulβ€” though bloody and dustyβ€” face. How ironic, he’s slipping away first even though he was the one who said five more minutes.
If only you had five more minutes.
β€œW-with… With you? Heh, always… β€œ The whisper coming out from his mouth caused you to narrow your eyes at him. It felt strange, it felt wrong. Was he saying goodbye? Watching Fred close his eyes was alarming, so you gained all your strength to pat his hand a few times, β€œH-hey, Freddie… Five more minutes. Hang… Hang on for five more minutes, please.”
You squeezed his hand, and he naturally squeezed back, only this time it was weaker than usual. His grip on your hand started to soften, but you tightened yours desperately. The pain all over your body was partially forgotten, your only focus was on keeping Fred breathing and alive, as well as yourself.Β 
β€œI’m… I’m trying, my love… but I’m sleepy… and tired…” he mumbled, his words became slurred by time. He was on the edge, you realized that. Upon the sad realization, you bit your tongue, trying your best to prepare for the worst. β€œL-look at me, darling,” Your voice quivered, feeling the sandy surface on your temple as you tried to force your eyes open, to properly look at him, β€œLook at me.”
You knew it. He was slipping away from your fingers, and you were slipping too. It didn’t matter anymore even if Percy bulldozed his way to you now, it was too late. Simply too late. And that’s none of his faults. It’s none of his and none of yours.
Some things are just meant to be.
You took your other hand and placed it onto his cold, dirty cheek. Caressing his cheekbone gently, you gave him a comforting smile, β€œFred.”
He looked at you, a faint smile on his lips. He’s at the end, you acknowledged. You widen your smile to assure him, although the tears escaping your eyes say otherwise, β€œβ€¦ You make me happy. You make me so so happy. And I… I love you.”
β€œI love you, Freddie.”
With a big smile, Fred widened his eyes weakly, letting out a sigh of content as he looked at you with gentle eyes,β€œβ€¦ Now that wasn’t so hard, now was it?β€œ
Gentle eyes that soon hollowed empty.
β€œYeah,” the dam of your tears broke down, β€œTook me a long time...” You squeezed his now lifeless hand, trying to find comfort and warmth from him for the last time. You smiled at Fred, whilst tears rolling down your temple slowly as if mourning the passing of your lover for you. You inched closer to him, careful not to graze your injuries, and met your nose with his.
You caressed his cheek, finally feeling yourself lose consciousness. This is it, you thought, I won’t wake up ever again. β€œYou said we’ll be okay,” You whispered weakly, huffing a content smile on your lips. Staring into his eyes that had held so much love and pure unadulterated affection for you all these years, now empty with no trace of life, had sent you into pain more powerful than the injuries present on and in your body.
β€œI guess we will be, after this.”
β€œβ€¦ You spent your last five minutes with me, huh?” You felt yourself going in and out of consciousness, and your vision blurring continuously, β€œAren’t you a sappy git,” the mere whisper escaped your mouth with a sigh. The warm smile never left your lips, and the only thing in your mind was how peaceful he looked as of that moment, and you wondered if you’ll ever be in that state of peace, with him.Β Β 
β€œNo- no- no!” someone was shouting. β€œNo! Fred! no!” And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them with his hand on Y/N’s head, and the pair of lovers stared at each other without seeing, the ghost of their last smile still etched upon their faces.
On our last few drags of air, we agree
I was, and you were
Happy
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dreamypeaches Β· 4 years
Text
rating things my bf has said during secks | rafe cameron x reader
summary: you jump on the tik tok trend of rating things your boyfriend, rafe cameron, has said to you in bed
warnings: SMUT, cursing, seriously this is disgusting. im going to hell
word count: 1.6k
a/n: oh boy folks. this one is literally...so filthy i can’t even breath right now. please enjoy.Β 
popeΒ jjΒ kie sarah topper kelce
β€œDon’t hold back, baby.”
10/10
-I didn’t
-he loves to hear me scream
Face buried in a pillow, wrists pulled behind your back and trapped in Rafe’s tight grip, he plowed into you from behind. You’d missed Rafe’s touch so much, having been gone for a week on vacation with his family. The texts and videos you had exchanged were down right sinful, but they were nothing compared to the real thing. You missed the way he bruised your hips, the way he held you down and pounded into you until you saw God. He missed your tight little pussy, the look on your face when he made you cum on his dick, your sweet little moans and the way you screamed his name.
But the lewd noises were currently being muffled by the pillow your face was shoved in, and Rafe couldn’t have that. He twisted your hair in his grip, pulling on it and lifting your head up off the pillow.
β€œThere we go. Don’t hold back, baby. I want to hear you,” He growls, yanking a little harder on your locks and thrusting deeper into you. You obeyed, letting your curses and moans out into the air, adding to the sinful atmosphere of the room.
β€œi’m gonna f*ck you until you beg me to stop”
500/10
-true to his word
-couldn’t walk for a week
To say Rafe was pissed was an understatement. But the fury that burned within his eyes didn’t scare you. In fact, you felt your cunt start dripping in response. His hand gripped your throat, knuckles bruised and bloodied from the events earlier in the night. He slams you back into the wall and making you moan.
β€œYou think you’re funny? Talking to that fucking Pogue in front of me? Did you see the way he was looking at you? Well, he already got his, now it’s time for your punishment.” He hikes your dress up and practically rips your panties off. You scream as he plunges his fingers into you, starting out at a brutal pace, fingers curling to hit your g-spot.
β€œI’m gonna fuck you until you beg me to stop,” He growls.
β€œi want everyone to know how hard you were f*cked’
12000000/10
-pulled me in close and bit my neck hard
-hot af
β€œLook at you, being such a good girl for me, taking my cock so well,” Rafe moans as he slows the speed of his thrusts, staring down at where your bodies met and the juices of two orgasms leaked out of you.
β€œDoes anyone else know what a little slut you are? How good you are taking cock?”
You moan as he juts into you particularly hard and he reaches down to to squeeze your throat.
β€œI asked you a question, baby.”
β€œNo, Rafe. No one knows what a good little slut I am for you.” The grin that appears on his face is devilish, his movements stopping completely, making you whimper. He leaned down until his mouth is by your ear, breath fanning across your neck making you shiver.
β€œI want everyone to know how hard you were fucked,” He purrs, strangely tender despite the darkness of his words. The he suddenly bites down on your neck, making you shout before his hips start snapping into yours. He continues to make large, dark marks across your body as he fucks you into the mattress.
β€œyou c*m when i say you can”
2589/10
-don’t tell me what to do
-jk yes daddy
Rafe had been edging you all night. It started at dinner, a special birthday dinner for him with all his close friends. Under the table, his fingers had rubbed your sensitive nub until you were right on the edge, then pulling away as dessert was served, knowing full well that you were his real dessert for the night.
The second the two of you got home, he commanded you to meet him in your bedroom, naked and waiting. You did exactly as he said, it was his birthday after all, and you were the best present he could get. When he arrived in the bedroom, he was removed only his tie, wrapping it around your wrists and binding them tight. The next couple hours was spent with a vibrator on your clit, your legs shaking as you constantly came close to the edge but never tipped over.
Every now and then, Rafe’s mouth and fingers would join in the fun. Licking up your juices or teasing your nipples. Sometimes he would pull your panties on, leaving the small vibrator pressed up against you while he sat back and watched you squirm. You were crying by this point, all this pleasure with no release driving you crazy.
β€œPlease, Rafe! I can’t take it anymore, I need to cum!” You whimper. The vibe is suddenly removed from you, replaced with a hard slap to your pussy that makes you scream.
β€œWhat’s my name?” He growls.
β€œDaddy! Please!” He smirks down at you, eyes filled with an animalistic hunger.
β€œYou cum when I say you can.”
β€œyou look amazing rn”
100000/10
-awe shucks
-was said in a very tender way
-wholesome
β€œFuck, Rafe, I’m gonna cum!” You moan as Rafe slams into you, fingers playing your clit like a beautiful instrument.
β€œI’m close too baby…fuck…cum with me,” He groans, his movements sloppy as his words start to become true. You reach up, fingers tangling in his hair and pulling him down to meet your lips. The kiss is loving and passionate and hungry and pure all at once. You moan against each other as you both meet your releases. He stills inside you, pulling out all too soon for your liking and scooting down the bed to stare at your leaking center. Seeing his seed dripping from you did something to his head, making his dick harden again slightly and his love for you grow. His fingers reach out, scooping up his cum and shoving it back into you lightly, making you whimper quietly.
He sits back up, leaning over you and placing sweet kisses around your face before landing on your lips. He pulls back, staring at your face covered in after sex bliss. He loves you like this, absolutely fucked out.
β€œYou look amazing right now,” He smiles softly as you blush, covering your face with your hands. He shakes his head and pulls them away cuddling up to you and placing several more kisses to your neck as he holds you tight.
β€œyou’ll pay for that later”
sdhfdskkhdj/10
-i deserved it
-my a$$ was red
You’d been to enough Kook parties with Rafe to last you a life time. You were bored, left in the corner to pout while Rafe paid attention to anything but you. You were honestly tired of it, and you were going to do something about it. Finding Rafe talking to Topper by the pool, you walk up to him with wide innocent eyes.
β€œHey, baby,” You coo before turning to face Topper, pressing your back up against Rafe, making sure your ass was situated right on his crotch. You spend the next few minutes in deep discussion with Topper, not even looking or speaking to Rafe. Every now and then, you would move to adjust your dress, rubbing your butt against his quickly hardening cock.
β€œAw, I’m out,” You say, referring to your drink, starting to walk away.
β€œI’ll come with you,” Rafe says, taking your arm and practically dragging you away. He leans down and growls in your ear, β€œYou’ll pay for that later.” The words made you ruin your underwear.
Instead of bringing you to the kitchen for drinks, he leads you out to his truck, shoving you into the passenger seat. When you arrived home, he brought you to the bedroom and bent you over his knee, hiking your skirt up and shoving your panties down. His hand met your ass, over, and over again, until you were soaked all over his lap. He lifted you up moving you onto the bed, placing you down gently in contrast to the harsh slaps he had just given you.
β€œSuch a little fucking tease,” He whispers before unbuckling his pants and pulling his cock out, preparing to absolutely destroy your cunt.
β€œwho’s pu$$y is this?”
infinity/10
-i knew exactly who’s
-(spoiler) it’s his
You always knew your wedding night with Rafe would be one to remember. Your bedroom life was already incredible, you just knew he would pull out all the stops for your special day. And you were right. It had started long before the bedroom, sneaking off during the reception for him to bury himself under your beautiful white dress and devour you, or you kneeling in front of him, sucking him until his covered your lips in white, suited perfectly for a bride like you.
When he got you all to himself after the party, you knew you were in for it. The sex was rough and passionate, using positions where he could always look you right int he eye as he made you scream his name. You were all his and his alone, and you would be for the rest of your lives.
β€œWho’s pussy is this?” He growls as he fucks into you, rubbing you clit and squishing your cheeks between his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to look at him. Already three orgasms deep, you found it difficult to focus. But the look of pure passion and love glowing in his eyes fanned the flame inside of you.
β€œIt’s yours, Rafe, all yours. Forever and always.” You breathe. He grins at you, meeting your lips in a fiery kiss as he fucks you with all the love in his body.
taglist/moots:Β @ilovejjmaybankΒ @broken-jj @vindictive-hearts @wtfkieΒ @jjmaybby @dontjinx-it @butgilinsky @rekrappeter @diverdcwn @rafecameron @prejudic3 @starlightstarkey @https-luna @sunnypogue @obxmxybxnk @jjmayybank @bluesiderudy @socialwriter @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @peachydrews @outerbanksbro @poguestyleskye @softstarkey @bricksatanakinswindow @mdlyncline @poguemackin @downbytheouterbanks @ptersparkers @prkerspogue @moldisgoodforyou @outrbanks @girlsru1eboysdroo1 @tempestuousjj @stargazingstarkey @anxietyandtacos @uwubonebabie @joshy-obx
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mythiccheroacademia Β· 4 years
Note
Can you please do a fic where kirishima and kaminari turning into babies and reader have to take care of them but kaminari dont like reader for some strange reason and them resolved it🀩 sorry for bad English πŸ˜…
A/N: this was such a cute request! the characters as babies just makes my heart 😚πŸ₯°πŸ˜ I hope y’all enjoy this one! and your english is great btw!
Warnings: cuteness overload? and some cussing bc bakugo’s here. what do you expect?
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Kirishima Eijirou:Β 
when you woke up to bakugo banging on your door, you knew it was going to be a weird dayΒ 
bakugo was notrious for being an early bird, but he usually kept that to himself. so why was he screaming outside your door at 6 in the freaking morning?
β€œy/n! you have ten seconds to open this fucking door before iβ€”β€œ
you swung the door open with the meanest glare you could muster, ready to cuss him out
β€œwhat the hell do you wantβ€”β€œ
your voice catches in your throat when you see a sleeping black haired child, no older than two, curled up in his armsΒ 
you stare at the baby
then you stare at bakugo
bakugo stares back in confusion
then it clicks
β€œIT’S NOT MY FUCKING BABY!!” he explodes
β€œLANGUAGE BAKUGO!”
β€œSTOP FUC--I MEAN FREAKING ASSUMING THINGS”
you didnt get a chance to respond before he shoves the baby in your arms and tells you it’s kirishima who got hit by a quirk during his internshipΒ 
the teachers knew and left him with katsuki, but he couldnt take care of him today bc he had to go to his intership, and he didnt trust anyone else with the child
so that’s how you ended up alone with baby kiripima πŸ₯Ί
you find out very quickly that kirishima was as energetic as ever, even as a babyΒ 
the minute he wakes up, he nearly jumps out of bed and declares to the entire roomΒ 
β€œg’ mornin’!” 
then he glomps you with the biggest hugΒ 
β€œy/n! we swol too-day!!”
you figured out that he knows who you are but that’s the extent to which he doesΒ 
either way, he’s very excited to spend the day with youΒ 
he’s still extroverted even as a kid and loves being around his friends
when you took him around to meet everybody, he just gobbled up the attention. most importantly, he just loved your attention
he such a show off for you omgΒ 
he’ll beΒ β€œultra manly” and clean his mess all by himselfΒ 
or when you try and help him wash his hands, he’ll stop you with a determined pout and goΒ β€œi can do it!” and concentrate really hard on scrubbing his hands cleanΒ 
when you’d praise him for eating all his food he’d give you the biggest shark-tooth smile and cutely blush from your words
he still kind of stumbled when he walked but whenever he saw something cool, he’d take your hand and basically drag you with him, excitment in his stepsΒ 
and when you showed him the gym?
he was in L O V E 🀩
you may or may not have taken a couple pictures when you saw him attempt to lift a five pound weightΒ 
bath time is fun and easy bc he’s too busy pretending to be a shark to really think about the fact that he’s getting clean
when you tell him it’s bed time, he doesn’t wanna sleep at first. but then you make a sad face and he instantly drops what he’s doing and hurriedly says,
β€œokay! okay! i sleep! see!?”
goes and gets his blanket and curls up in your bed bc he’s the goodest boy and it’s unmanly to make a pretty person sad!
he looks so small and fluffy that you literally wanna bawl your eyes outΒ 
ahhh he’s just the cutest!!
you lie next to him and decide to take a nap too bc it’s been a long dayΒ 
before you fall asleep, you feel the small boy nuzzle into your chest and wrap his arms around your neckΒ 
β€œnight night. luh you,” he whispers before he starts to snoreΒ 
like πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯Ί
you could seriosuly die happyΒ 
the next day, you wake up with a heavier arm around your shoulders. it’s so heavy that you can barely move and it confuses youΒ 
when you open your eyes, you see that kirishima has gone back to normalΒ 
and usually you’d be freaking out bc you may or may not have a small crush on him and now that he was normal sized, you were staunchly reminded of it
but when he pulls you in closer to his embrace, you can’t seem to care rn
for now, you’ll just enjoy this moment
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Kaminari Denki:
β€œY/N!! watch out!”
you were all kinds of confused when kaminari jumped in front of you to protect you from a villain’s quirk and he disappeared
and just when you were about to freak out, you heard small whimpers and criesΒ 
you looked to the ground and saw that kaminari hadnt disappeared
your best friend just turned into a freaking two year old childΒ 
and you dont think he likes youΒ 
at allΒ 
once you two were brought to safety, it was like denki finally took a good look at who was holding him and just
flipped shitΒ 
he gives you a firm (but cute) frown that makes you blink in confusion
then he suddenly pushes his hands against your chest to try and get awayΒ 
β€œno! stop! i wanna go!”
at first, you thought he was scared so you attempted to soothe him but it’s no use
he’s admant on throwing his tiny temper tantrum
although, when recovery girl takes him to go get checked, he instantly calms down and smiles as she tells him how cute he hisΒ 
you can’t say you didnt feel your heart break just a littleΒ πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”
but youre determined to win over his affection bc wth? you’re supposed to be best friends!Β 
(read: you had a crush on older denki and you couldnt handle the fact that these might be his true feelings towards you and he might actually not like you)
so the entire day, you’re doing everything you can to make the kid at least acknowledge youΒ 
right now, it’s the bakusquad that’s collectively taking care of him for the day, but you’re there to help
you try to tell him jokes babies could understand and he’ll just look at you and turn awayΒ 
mina told you that food was the best way to a guy’s heart so you made him his favorite (soft) food as a peace offering
and you were absolutely crushed when he stiffened up and refused to eat it until bakugo scared him into eatingΒ 
he turns away and you just πŸ’”πŸ˜ž
after that, you sighed and gave up
you sorrowfully accepted the fact that denki just didnt like youΒ :(
at least you now know your chances of being with him was nonexistent
you made up some excuse to leave the room bc you coudlnt take the heartbreak
everyone pretty much bought into it
all except denki who might have been a child, but he was still as perceptive as everΒ 
unbeknowest to you, denki didnt really dislike youΒ 
the reason he was acting like a jerk was bc you put yourself in danger during the mission and he was so angry about itΒ 
he didnt know how to confront these feelings so he just ignored youΒ 
but when he saw the silver tears line your eyes, he felt so bad 😭
he didn’t know how to emotionℒ️
pls don’t leave him :(((
the emotions overwhelmed him so much to the point that he bursted out in tears and wasn’t cosoled by anythingΒ 
β€œcome on, bro! what’s wrong!?” sero anxiously askedΒ 
β€œy/n! i want y/n!”
he didnt have to say it twiceΒ 
the group basically shove him in your arms and youre confused when denki latches onto you like a life line bc did he just hate you three seconds ago?
despite your saddness, you comfort him by whispering sweet nothings in his ear and denki is instaneously consoled solely by your voiceΒ 
the crying takes a lot of energy from him and he can barely keep his eyes open
but before he sleeps, he softly says,Β β€œi wa’ scare-d. sowwy y/n”
again, you’re confused, but you were too tired to think about it so you decide to go to bed and deal with this tomorrow
it’s the next day and your face-to-face with a normal kaminari who’s obviously been awake for some time and looks petrifiedΒ 
now that he’s older, you’re reminded of everything he put you through and you’re salty af about it
β€œyou still hate me?” you sassily sayΒ 
denki’s face erupts in an embarrassed blush and youre surprised when he buries his head in your neck, holding you close to his chestΒ 
without looking at you, he explains his true feelings for you in a really round about way
you pull his face back to look at him and as he sputters out apologies to you, you kiss is noseΒ 
β€œyou idiot. i like you too if that’s what you’re trying to say.”
denki stares before short-circuting and you just laugh as he mumbles happily to himselfΒ 
911 notes Β· View notes
ssahotchhner Β· 3 years
Text
hunter, hunted
i should not be so excited about this but i just discovered that when you copy and paste text into a new post tumblr FINALLY allows italics and bolded fonts to be transferred over so I don't have to remember to go through it and do it myself again i could literally CRY rn. ANYWAY I thought it would be fun to write a oneshot like the Profiler, Profiled where Morgan is accused of murder. i created an oc for this one and I hope you love April I've spent a lot of time with her the last couple of weeks (:
words: 13.4k
pairing: hotch x oc
warnings: detailed descriptions of murder and torture and sexual assault
questions comments concerns
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β€œWhere’s the weapon, April?”
It was almost laughable. A federal agent handcuffed in an interrogation room being questioned for murder in her small town while visiting a childhood friend. She shakes her head at the detective, laughing. β€œI carry a gun on me at all times because, as I said, I’m a federal agent. You have it in your possession already. If you want to test it to see if I’ve fired it recently, be my guest. You won’t find anything.”
β€œYou’re right, we won’t find anything because Brandon Perry died from blunt force trauma to the head. So I’ll ask you again, where is the weapon?”
This time, April does laugh. Of course he wasn’t shot. That would be too easy. β€œYou know what, Detective Barnes, if you hadn’t kicked my hotel door down in the middle of the night, handcuffed me and dragged me in here, I may have cooperated with the investigation, but here we are. So I’ll tell you again: my Unit Chief is SSA Aaron Hotchner. I won’t be answering any more questions until I can speak with him.”
The middle aged man glares at her until finally getting up and leaving her alone in the interrogation room. She rested her head on the table and hoped that maybe that stupid motherfucker would listen to her this time.
***
β€œHunter has been detained in Bar Harbor, Maine.” Hotch tells the team in the conference room.
JJ frowns, β€œIsn’t that her hometown? Why has she been arrested?”
β€œFor murder.” Hotch says. Before the team can react, he pulls up a picture of Brandon Perry’s body, β€œBrandon Perry was found yesterday by a fisherman just off the docks a week after he was released from prison on parole. He had been bludgeoned to death with some sort of blunt object, the M.E. suggests a baseball bat.”
β€œAnd why do they think April did this?” Spencer asks.
Hotch clicks a button and a picture of a couple brutally murdered in their bed, a little boy who’s throat had been slashed, and a little girl with brown hair and bright green eyes, alive and well filled the screen, β€œBecause he was serving time for the murders of Addison, Jacob, and Timothy Hunter. April’s family.”
Everyone stares at the monitor in shock, β€œHer whole family was murdered when she was a kid… and she never mentioned it to us?” Penelope asks, her lower lip trembling.
β€œApril was left relatively unharmed, but she had been sexually assaulted by the assailant. She said he was tall, but he had on a ski mask so she was never able to give solid identification.” Hotch finishes.
β€œSo how’d they connect these murders to Brandon Perry?” Rossi asks.
β€œHe was connected to a couple other home invasions and assaults nearby so he entered a plea deal. The local police were under a lot of pressure to close the case.”
β€œBreaking into homes to murdering almost an entire family is a big escalation.” Morgan says.
Hotch nods, β€œI thought so too.”
β€œApril was just a kid,” Prentiss says, β€œAnd to go through a trauma like that, I’m sure she believed whatever the police fed her. And to see him be released from prison like that… I hate to say it, but it could have been the trigger.”
Penelope’s shaking her head, β€œNo, no, you guys don’t really think April did this, do you?”
Everyone’s silent for a moment and then Morgan speaks, β€œBaby girl, if she’s innocent, we’ll prove it. But we can’t rule out the possibility that she did this just yet.”
β€œI know April hasn’t been here that long,” Garcia says, β€œBut she is still a part of this family. You can all treat her like an unsub, but I won’t.” She finishes and marches out of the conference room.
Aaron sighs, β€œWheels up in thirty.” He says resolutely before leaving the room.
***
Hotch walked into the police station, the team at his back and was greeted by a man about April’s age who introduced himself as Detective Fielder. β€œDetective, I’d like to speak to my agent.” Hotch demanded after shaking the man’s hand.
The man shrugged, β€œSorry, sir. My partner’s in there with her. She’s stubborn as hell. I went to school with her, you know it’s a shame the way her family died but… must’ve knocked a screw loose or somethin’. She ain’t ever been the same.”
Aaron thought it over, killers had made their way into the bureau before. Not like this, though. Not under the nose of his whole team. April kept to herself, but she had joined this team less than a year ago, it would be overwhelming for anyone. β€œYou misunderstand, detective. It wasn’t a request. Bring me to my agent.”
Reluctantly, the younger detective brought Hotch to the back of the station where he could already hear another man, older by the sounds of it, screaming at April.
She was staring back at him, her posture relaxed, looking more annoyed than anything. Hotch walked in and she relaxed further, only then letting on that she had been putting on a show of being unbothered for the detective, β€œThank God.” April sighs, β€œI thought maybe they didn’t call you.”
β€œAre you alright?” He asks her first, unable to explain why hearing another man scream at you had made his blood boil.
β€œI’m fine,” She says and directs her attention back to the older detective, β€œDetective Barnes won’t even get me a water, though.”
β€œDetective Fielder, get April some water.” Hotch demands. He can feel the two men exchange a look behind him before the younger detective leaves the room. β€œDetective Barnes, uncuff my agent.”
β€œYou can’t let her go, you don’t have jurisdiction here.” He growls.
β€œI’m not suggesting you let her go, but even if you’re right she committed a one off crime of revenge. She’s not a threat to anyone here. Uncuff her.” The detective glared at April who only smirked at him. β€œNow, detective.” Aaron said, firmer this time.
With a look of disgust on his face, the detective uncuffed a smiling April as detective Fielder came back in the room with a cup of water. β€œThank you, Billy.” April said as the detective placed the cup in front of her. He ignored her completely.
β€œI’d like to speak to her alone.”
β€œLike Hell.” Detective Barnes spat.
β€œWith all due respect, detective, it doesn’t appear that you’ve gotten much out of her. You’re welcome to watch through the window, but I will be questioning her. Clear the room.” They stared at each other for another few moments before the detectives both left the room. Hotch turned back to April whose entire demeanor changed. She sighed, relaxing her shoulders and slouching over the table as she rubbed at her wrists where the cuffs had been. The antagonizing behavior Hotch had just witnessed her exhibit completely vanished.
β€œYou don’t help when you antagonize them like that.” Hotch says.
She shrugs, β€œThe men in this town don’t like a woman who thinks she’s his equal. They never liked my attitude. They like it even less now that I outrank them. Either I act like the superior I am, even in cuffs, or they force me into submission.”
He sits down at the table across from her, β€œWhy didn’t you tell me about your family? It wasn’t in your file.”
β€œStrauss knew.” April says, immediately defensive. She hadn’t lied, the bureau knew.
β€œBut you didn’t want me or the team knowing, why?” She doesn’t answer him, just stares at her hands. β€œApril, I can’t help you if I don’t know.” He says gently.
Finally she looks up and sighs, β€œWhen I was twelve my entire family was brutalized and murdered in front of me, but not before the unsub raped me in front of my parents. And I didn’t react the way the people of this town wanted me to. I was twelve and I was covered in semen when he left. So I showered before calling 911. I didn’t cry even once in front of anyone and I never spoke about what happened to anyone, not even the police. Only enough to tell them that I had no idea what he looked like, but I thought he was white.” Her eyes water just slightly and she doesn’t meet his eyes, β€œFor the six years after the murders that I stayed in this town, I know a lot of people thought I did it. That I was some kind of psychopath. So no, I didn’t want it in my file.”
β€œYou thought maybe we’d arrive at the same decision the town did.” Hotch opens the case file, β€œBut you were never tried or even considered a real suspect. There was no physical evidence.”
She smiles sadly, β€œNo physical evidence means nothing to a small town who’s rarely ever seen a scandal, and certainly nothing like this.”
He stares at her for a moment, β€œAnd so when Brandon Perry was released from jail, you thought he hadn’t suffered nearly enough so you came back up here and killed him.” April laughs and Hotch can see he’s made her feel antagonistic again, β€œThis isn’t funny, April, you’re a suspect in a homicide.”
β€œNo, Hotch, you don’t understand. It’s funny because I don’t even believe Brandon Perry killed my family and I haven’t believed that for a long long time. Which is why it would make no goddamn sense for me to kill him.”
β€œThat’s bullshit!” The door bursts open and detective Barnes walks in.
β€œDetective--” Hotch stands as if to shield her and April nearly frowns at how protective he seems to be of her right now. She had seen him this way around the rest of the team, but never her.
β€œYou told Detective Fielder when you were fifteen that you would kill that son of bitch yourself if he ever got out of jail.”
Hotch looks at April with a bit of annoyance, he hated when others had more information than him and from the second he walked in here she kept hiding things from him, not telling him the whole truth.
She lazily rolls her eyes and stares at Billy, β€œI was fifteen. I was angry. He cooperated with the police so he had the opportunity to get parole after fifteen years? Get his life back after I thought he had ruined mine? Yeah, I said some stupid shit, I think any kid would have.”
β€œWhen did you start to doubt that Brandon Perry had killed your family?” Hotch asks, but she’s still shooting daggers at the other detectives, β€œAgent, eyes here.” He says roughly, growing impatient with her.
Her eyes snap to his, β€œI used to lurk on support pages for people whose loved ones had been murdered and I remember seeing that this girl described… Almost exactly what had happened to my family, but she said it happened while Brandon was on trial here. She lived a couple towns over.”
β€œSo what did you do?”
She shrugs, β€œNothing, I was seventeen, I didn’t have any resources there was nothing I could do.”
Hotch sits down across from her again, leaning over the table so he’s closer to her, β€œYou really expect me to believe, with the conviction you just said Brandon is innocent, that you didn’t look into this further?” She stays quiet and won’t meet his eyes, β€œI can have Garcia search your desk and computer if you’d rather do this that way.”
She leans back in her chair, rolling her eyes, β€œJesus fucking Christ, I’m not a fucking criminal.”
β€œThen tell me what you know.” Hotch says, voice raised.
β€œFine! I started volunteering at the police station so I could get access to files. I was good with the digital databases, but no one else was so they basically gave me free reign. I was able to find three similar cases, all within a couple years of each other but in different cities. One of them, he crossed into New Hampshire. All of the local police departments either arrested someone like Brandon or dismissed it as a one off crime and let it go cold. The files are in my desk drawer at the BAU.”
β€œYou carried them with you all this time?”
She picks at the cuticles around her thumb, something Hotch noticed weeks ago she does when she’s nervous. β€œI thought… I thought about asking you guys to just look at the case a million times. See if you saw what I saw. And if you didn’t then maybe I could finally move on.”
β€œSo why didn’t you ask?”
Her eyes dart around the room, to the detectives, the one way window, and then back to Hotch, β€œYou guys, the team, you all have… This unbreakable bond and I… I barely just got here and I thought if I’d asked…” She sighs and runs her hands through her hair, β€œI just… I didn’t think you’d care.”
β€œThe whole team flew out here at the drop of hat for you and you think we wouldn’t care?”
She frowns, β€œThe whole team is here?”
β€œYes.”
April sits back in her chair, looking dazed.
β€œDetectives, you’ll be releasing Agent Hunter from your custody now and since we have reason to believe there’s a serial killer loose and across state lines, we’ll be staying on the case.”
β€œYou don’t really believe anything she’s saying, do you? She’s a psychopath!” Detective Barnes fumed.
Hotch stands and steps to the detective who immediately takes a step back after noticing Hotch’s menacing stance, β€œShe is a federal agent and is no longer a suspect, you have no physical evidence and you just lost motive. You will speak to her with respect and if you don’t think you can handle that I’ll contact your superintendent and have you removed from the case. Is that clear?”
The detective stood back and out of their way, April looking at the ground so Hotch wouldn’t have to yell at her for antagonizing them again.
β€œWhat’s the history with you and Billy?” Hotch asks as they walk out of the room.
April rolls her eyes, β€œHe was my high school boyfriend.”
β€œOh,” Hotch muses, β€œYou can do better.”
Before she can figure out if he was joking or not, the team realizes she’s walking of her own free will and they seem to all release the tension in their bodies. JJ walks to April first, pulling her into a hug before she can react.
April slowly raises her arms to hug JJ back, β€œI wish you had told us sooner.” Is all she says.
β€œI’m sorry you guys came all the way out here.” April addresses the team when JJ moves away from her.
β€œThat’s okay, Hunter, we’re just glad to see you aren’t a murderer.” Morgan teases.
β€œWe might actually be staying here for a while after all.” Hotch says.
Prentiss frowns, β€œIs there a case here?”
April opens and closes her mouth, β€œI-- Maybe.”
β€œWhy don’t you call Garcia, ask her to get those files to everyone.” Hotch says to her quietly.
April nods and walks off.
β€œWhat’s going on, Hotch?” Rossi asks.
Hotch pushes his hands in his pockets, β€œThe reason we were able to clear Hunter is because she has no motive. She doesn’t believe Brandon Perry killed her family and she hasn’t since she was a teenager.” He pauses, β€œShe thinks the murders may be the work of a serial killer. She found three additional cases nearby, one crosses over to New Hampshire, that she believes are the work of the same unsub.”
Prentiss slowly nods, β€œAnd you want us to see if that’s true or not.”
Hotch nods, β€œI’m sure April would really appreciate our support.”
Everyone on the team is already nodding when April comes back, β€œSo, as Penelope might say… Avengers assemble?” She asks hopefully.
Thankfully, they all laugh and nod, even Hotch cracks a smile, β€œGreat.” April sighs in relief, β€œLet’s go to the conference room.”
With Garcia on a laptop screen, April tells them everything she knows, which admittedly, isn’t much. However, there are overwhelming similarities between the cases.
β€œEvery family he chose was wife, husband, two kids. The eldest was the daughter all between the ages of 11-13 and in each case the daughter was raped and kept alive.” April was speaking as if she wasn’t speaking about herself and Hotch would be lying if he said it didn’t concern him. β€œIn each case the parents were brutally tortured with a knife, forced to watch the rape and then killed with a fatal gunshot to the head. The boy was always killed first and it was always quick.”
β€œA mercy kill?” Reid muses.
April sighs, β€œI’ve never been able to figure that part out. It’s obvious he gets off on the rape and torture of the parents and daughter, but why not leave the boy alive the way he always leaves the daughter if it’s out of mercy?”
β€œIt could be he thinks he’s sparing the boy the pain and trauma of having to go through the after effects of watching his parents and sister tortured.” Prentiss says.
β€œWhen all is said and done the daughter suffers the most psychologically.” Hotch says, β€œShe could be the real target, maybe a surrogate for someone he knew.”
At this point, Hotch notices the way April is staring at the table, eyes unfocused, β€œHunter,” Her eyes shoot up, β€œYou must be exhausted, let me drive you back to the hotel so you can get some rest.”
β€œHotch, I’m fine, I want to help.”
β€œNo,” He says and she frowns, β€œIf the daughter is the true target we’re going to have to dive deeper into victimology. Why he chose you. You don’t want to be here for that.”
Everyone’s quiet and deliberately looks away from April. She sighs, β€œFine, but I’m coming back first thing in the morning.” She stands and walks out of the conference room without waiting for Hotch.
β€œGarcia, see what you can find about April’s childhood as well as the other victims and let us know if there’s any similarities.” Hotch says.
β€œIt feels icky, but I’ll do it.” Garcia responds.
β€œI’ll be back.” Hotch addresses the rest of the team before heading after April.
They ride in silence for a few minutes, Hotch glancing over to the passenger seat every few seconds. β€œWhatever you want to say just say it.” April says, growing tired of the constant glances.
β€œYou don’t have to keep working on this case like it’s any other case--”
β€œIt’s not just any other case.”
β€œI know,” He says gently, β€œI’m worried about you. I know you bottle things up, showing emotion to other people makes you feel vulnerable, which in turn makes you feel weak. And I worry that the way you’re bottling up your rage is going to lead to you taking it out on--”
β€œI didn’t kill Brandon.” She says.
β€œI know you didn’t. But if we do find the real killer, I can’t let you come with us into the field until he’s been taken into custody.”
β€œHotch--”
β€œIt’s not up for discussion. I’m sorry.”
She sat back in the seat and crossed her arms over her chest and they continue on in silence for a while longer. β€œDo you think our unsub is also responsible for Brandon’s death?” Hotch felt guilty about upsetting her and thought maybe getting her brain back into work mode would stop her from giving him the silent treatment.
For a few moments he thinks she might continue to ignore him, but finally, she sighs, β€œIt’s possible. If we think he gets off on the suffering of the daughters, he might be upset that I thought he had been caught. That I felt safe knowing he was behind bars. Killing Brandon after he was released could have been a message to me that he’s still out there and obviously following me.”
β€œYou don’t feel safe anymore.”
β€œThat’s not what I said.”
β€œIt was implied.” Hotch pauses, β€œI can stay at the hotel with you, work with the team remotely from the room next to yours.”
He expects her to refuse, but instead she agrees. β€œOkay.” She says quietly. This only worries him more as she is typically unlikely to accept help unless he insists upon it.
They walk up to the hotel room in silence and Hotch stands behind her as she unlocks her door, β€œHey,” He says softly and she turns, β€œAnything you need, anything at all, I’ll be right there.” He nods his head to the door next to them.
β€œThank you.” She says, giving him a small smile before pushing the hotel door open and then quickly closing it behind her.
He stands there for a moment, staring at the space she was just standing in before sighing and going to his own room.
β€œHow is she doing?” Rossi asks when he calls the team from his room to let them know he’ll be staying there.
β€œShe won’t admit it, but she’s scared. She thinks he might be following her and that Brandon Perry was a message to her that he’s still out there.”
β€œThat would make sense if we think the girls are the real targets.” Prentiss chimes in.
Hotch stays on the phone with them a little while longer before they all decide to head back to the hotel. He stares at the wall that separates him from April and tries to get his mind to quiet enough to rest. He’s right here. Nothing will hurt her if he’s right here. He thought about how just last week Rossi had teased him for catching him staring at April. He had nearly convinced Aaron to ask her out. But she was so distant and hard to read and he didn’t want to chance rejection. Eventually, he closes his eyes and drifts off, an image of you smiling at him on the backs of his eyelids.
***
April was exhausted, but she stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours. Small noises that she never thought twice about now startled her. Hotch is next door. She reminded herself. She thought about the comment he made about Billy: You could do better. Had he been… Flirting? Aaron Hotchner… Flirting? It felt absurd. Shaking the thought out of her head, she got up and poured herself some water from the Brita in the mini fridge. Finally, after drinking the water, she’s able to fall asleep.
The breeze against her face wakes her. Slowly blinking her eyes into consciousness, she notices the balcony doors are open. Those were closed when I fell asleep, She thinks to herself and shoots up in bed, scrambling for her gun as her heart races. April considers yelling to Hotch, but if he’s still here she doesn’t want to scare him off.
On the wall at the foot of her bed reads β€œWelcome Home” in what looks like blood. Under it sits her favorite childhood teddy bear, head ripped clean off. She tightens her grip on the gun in order to stop the shaking and then glances around the room, but there’s nothing. Then she slowly opens the bathroom door. Pointing her gun at the shower, the curtain moves. She doesn’t hesitate she fires off four rounds, breathing hard. She doesn’t hear a body fall. Reaching out she pushes the curtain, but no one’s there.
Seconds later, Hotch is calling her name, but he doesn’t wait for a response before kicking down the door. β€œHunter?” He calls again and she thinks she might hear fear in his voice. Fear for her?
β€œI’m in the bathroom. You can put down your gun, it’s clear.” He appears behind her a moment later, still staring at the shower, β€œI thought he was still in here.”
She walks around him and back out to where he left the message, β€œHe came in through the balcony, Iβ€” I thought I locked it…” She trails off, looking at the glass of water on the table and realizing she can’t remember when she fell asleep.
β€œWhat is it?” Hotch asks.
β€œHe was in here before. I think he drugged my water.”
He narrows his eyes at her, β€œWe should go to the hospital then, I’ll have the team come here and treat this as a crime scene.”
β€œI don’t need to go to the hospital, I’m fineβ€”β€œ
β€œWe don’t know what he gave you or how much, besides, having you tested will tell us what he used faster than sending a sample of the water to Quantico.”
β€œFine.” She agrees begrudgingly, he was right. She walks over to her bag of clothes and it’s only at this moment that she realizes she had worn only an oversized t-shirt to bed and Hotch was making a valiant effort not to stare at her legs.
β€œI’ll, um, I have to get dressed as well.” He says hurriedly, gesturing to the pajama pants he’s wearing. He leaves before she can say anything else. Under normal circumstances, April’s sure this would have made her laugh, but that teddy bear seems to be staring her down. She gets dressed and leaves the room without another glance.
***
April stares out the window of the SUV in silence while Hotch calls Rossi to fill him in on what happened so the rest of the team can start assessing her hotel room. When he hangs up, she feels his eyes darting between her and the road again.
β€œDo you want to talk about it?” He asks quietly.
She’s quiet for a moment and then she takes a shaky breath, β€œThat teddy bear went missing from my room a couple weeks before the murders. It was my favorite.” She swipes impatiently at the tears that start falling, β€œI blamed Timmy for it, we fought about it for hours. He felt so bad that I was mad at him he used his birthday money to buy me another one. I really thought he took it.” She tilts her head back in the headrest, trying desperately to stop the impending sobs.
Hotch doesn’t say anything, but he reaches across the car to hold her hand. To her own surprise, she lets him, the calluses on his thumb rubbing reassuring circles on the back of her hand.
***
β€œWhat do you have, Garcia?” Hotch steps out of your examination room for a moment to accept the call.
β€œHow is she?” Penelope asks first.
β€œShe’s… shaken up. But, like everyone else on this team does an excellent job of seeming unaffected.”
She sighs, β€œMy poor wonder woman. Anyway, I think I found the connection between all the daughters.”
β€œWhat is it?”
β€œWell, it turns out that our April was a very talented child. Her parents took her to talent shows regularly, she was voted β€˜Most Likely To Make It To Hollywood’ in her middle school yearbook.”
Hotch frowns and looks back at April, β€œWe’re talking about the same federal agent, right?”
β€œI know, sir, not much surprises me anymore, but this did. There’s videos of her singing all over the internet, she was on the local news, quite the young star.”
β€œAnd the other victims?”
β€œAll singers, sir. Every last one.”
β€œThanks, Garcia.”
He walks back into April’s room, β€œYou used to be a singer.” He says.
She rolls her eyes, β€œSo?”
β€œSo all the other daughters were singers too.” She sets her jaw and won’t meet his eyes. She’s not surprised by this information. β€œWhy didn’t you mention it?”
β€œI didn’t think it was relevant.”
β€œYou didn’t think it was relevant that there was a connection between all of the victims?”
She sighs and she feels shame at his obvious disappointment, β€œI’m sorry. I’ve worked really hard to block it out, sometimes I honestly forget.”
β€œWhat else aren’t you telling me?”
She bites her lip and looks down at her hands, picking at the cuticles around her thumb again, β€œHe made me sing while… While he raped me.”
β€œIs there anything else?”
β€œNo. I swear.”
He stares at her for moment and she knows he’s trying to see if she’s lying. It makes her angry at him, but also at herself. Maybe Hotch had never been as fond of her as the others, but he had never distrusted her. Just another thing the unsub had taken from her. β€œWhat song did he make you sing?”
The question is so painful to think about that she visibly flinches, β€œDo you really need to know that?”
β€œYou know I do.” He says softly.
She looks away from him again, back to the cuticle on her thumb that she’s made bleed, β€œLike A Virgin by Madonna.”
He places his hand over hers again and she finds it almost alarming the way his touch seems to immediately calm her. β€œApril, we won’t stop until we find him. I promise.”
She gives him a teary smile, β€œWill you stay with me?”
He smiles back at her, giving her a hand a slight squeeze and his smile takes her breath away, β€œI’ll be glued to your side until this case is over.”
***
A couple hours later they had found out that there was a classic date rape drug in April’s system: Gamma-hydroxybutyric acid, or GHB. The drug is usually prescribed for narcolepsy, but it was most often obtained illegally from Mexican pharmacies which they assumed was how the unsub got it.
β€œI’m bringing you back to the police station so you can stay with me and the team like I promised, but you don’t have to keep working the case.” Hotch says as he drives.
β€œFunny that you think you can stop me from working the case.”
He smirks a bit and brings his attention back to the road.
β€œWhat do you guys have for a profile so far?” He looks over at her, frowning. β€œWhat? I know you guys have been working while I’ve been reliving my trauma so what’ve you got?”
β€œWhite male, when he murdered your family he was probably in his twenties so now we’re guessing mid thirties to early forties. The torture is consistent with a sadist. Killing an entire family is an incredibly high risk crime which suggests he’s a narcissist, but also very organized. He’s able to control four people at once without much difficulty and he’s never left a shred of physical evidence behind except on the daughters. This means he’s arrogant and--” Hotch cuts himself off.
β€œWhat?”
β€œYou said you showered before calling 911. Why?”
β€œI… I told you he left… He left his semen all over me, I was just a kid, I wanted a shower--”
β€œNo.”
β€œExcuse me?”
β€œNo, that doesn’t make any sense. Yes, you were traumatized, but every kid has it hardwired in their brain that as soon as something bad happens the first thing they do is call 911.”
β€œOkay, well I didn’t.”
He presses some buttons on the console of the car and then Garcia’s voice is coming through the speaker, β€œAt your service, sir.”
β€œGarcia, in any of the family murders, was there a rape kit done on any of the daughters?”
β€œWell, surely there must have been-- Oh. No, no rape kits, not on any of them.”
β€œDoes a police report tell you why?”
β€œI’m checking… and…” There’s a sigh from Penelope.
β€œWhat is it, Garcia?”
β€œAll of them showered before calling 911.”
April is already shaking her head, β€œNo, no that can’t be right.”
β€œDid any of them report why they showered before calling for help?”
β€œMost of them, like April, just reported that they felt icky and needed to shower, but the first one, the very first victim Katie Yates, she reported that the unsub made her shower. Like, held her at gunpoint, marched her to the bathroom, and watched. Once he was satisfied with how clean she was, he left while she was still in the shower.”
β€œThat’s not what happened,” April says quietly, her eyes closed.
β€œThank you, Garcia.” Hotch says and hangs up the phone before she can respond, β€œApril--”
β€œNo.” She says fiercely, β€œI’m telling you that’s not what happened.”
β€œEvery other aspect of the crime is controlled and calculated, he wouldn’t make the mistake of leaving DNA all over his victims--”
β€œI would remember that if he did--”
β€œNo,” Hotch says gently. He had pulled into the police station now, putting the car in park, β€œNo, because you didn’t want to remember. Just that one memory, that one you wanted so badly to believe was your own. That he wasn’t there for the shower. But he was, wasn’t he?”
β€œPlease stop.” She said breathlessly.
β€œI’m sorry.” He sounds sincere and he puts his hand over hers, β€œLook at me.” She doesn’t obey immediately so he reaches up to grip her chin and gently turn her face to his. Her eyes are shining and her breathing is uneven, but his eyes are soft and she has the absurd urge to rest her forehead against his. β€œHe can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe.”
She nods and swallows. β€œI need you to walk me through exactly what happened after the rape.” He continues. Her lip trembles, but she nods again. β€œOkay, close your eyes.”
β€œHotch--” She whimpers.
β€œI’m right here. I’ll be here the whole time. You know how this goes. Close your eyes.” She takes a shaky breath and closes her eyes. β€œGood. He’s on top of you still. He’s just finished. Tell me what you feel, what you hear.”
β€œUm. I’m crying. I can hear my parents crying. His weight on me is making it hard to breathe.” She starts panicking, her breathing quickens.
β€œApril, focus. He’s not here. You’re safe. What about your hands, what are you touching?”
β€œThe carpet. I’m on the floor in the basement.”
β€œCan you see your parents?”
β€œYes,” She gulps, β€œBut I’m trying not to look at them. It’s humiliating.”
β€œOkay. Now what is he doing?”
β€œHe… He kisses my neck and whispers in my ear β€˜Thank you for the show’ and then he stands up.” Her breathing quickens, β€œHe’s walking to my parents, I don’t want to watch, he’s going to kill them, Hotch--!”
β€œOkay, okay, come back. Open your eyes. I’m here.” His hands come up to cradle her face. She should be startled by her boss touching her like this, but she’s oddly comforted.
Her breathing finally slows, β€œI’m tired.” She says softly.
β€œI know. We’re almost done. Close your eyes again, you can do this.” His hands stay on her face as she closes her eyes again, β€œOkay. Your parents are dead. What does he do now?”
β€œUh, I’m screaming. He’s looking at me and laughing and then he grabs my arm and pulls me up from the floor. I struggle and he puts the gun to my head and says if I don’t calm down he’ll blow out my brains like he did my parents. And then… He walks me up the stairs to the bathroom…” Her breathing becomes rapid again, β€œI don’t know if I can do this.”
β€œYes you can.” Hotch’s voice is low and soothing. He believes in you, she thinks to herself, if he thinks you can do this, you can.
β€œHe turns on the shower. I’m already naked and once I’m in the shower he starts undressing.” Silent tears stream down her cheeks and she’s distantly aware of Hotch gently wiping them away with the pads of his thumbs. β€œHe comes in the shower. He’s touching me. I’m begging him to stop. Oh, God.”
β€œApril, stay there. He’s undressed, he’s taken the mask off, do you recognize him?”
She’s shaking her head, β€œI can’t… I can’t look.”
β€œThe water’s hitting your skin, his hands are on you--”
β€œStop.”
β€œLook up, April.”
Despite herself, she listens. She’s in that shower, significantly smaller than she is now, and she looks up to see blue eyes looking down at her. Shaggy brown hair nearly covers them, especially now that it’s wet. He has a smirk on his face and crooked front teeth. There’s a tattoo on his right arm of a cross.
β€œOkay, okay that’s enough, you did it.” Hotch’s voice pulls her back out and she becomes aware of the car that’s still around them and the fact that she’s sobbing. β€œYou’re okay. You’re safe. You did so good.” She falls forward in his arms and after a moment of hesitation he wraps his arms around her, holding her until her breathing settles. It takes him a moment to realize that anyone could look in the SUV and find him in a seemingly compromising position with his subordinate and he pulls away. To his shock, she seems to look disappointed. β€œYou ready to go inside?”
β€œYeah.” She says and without another word, she gets out of the car. Hotch can’t deny that he feels like he’s done something wrong as he watches April walk into the station.
When April walks in the station, her whole team cranes their heads to watch her, but she heads straight for the coffee without looking at anyone. Hotch files in soon after.
β€œIs she okay?” Reid asks, the rest of the team waits for his answer.
β€œI just gave her a cognitive interview, I’m sure she’s upset.”
β€œDid you learn anything?” JJ asks.
β€œYeah,” Hotch nods, β€œShe remembers what he looks like and she identified a tattoo on his right arm.”
β€œWe should have Garcia run that, see if we can get an ID.” Morgan says.
β€œCall a sketch artist as well.” Hotch looks up at where April was standing just a few moments ago to see her gone, β€œExcuse me.”
***
April’s hands shake so hard as she tries to pour the coffee she ends up putting it down in frustration. β€œNeed some help?” She turns to see Billy, standing there smirking at her.
Sighing, she stands back and gestures for him to go ahead. He steps in to pour the coffee, β€œPretty elaborate ruse you got going on, staging a break in at your hotel room with that teddy bear.”
She stares at him in disbelief, β€œYou still think I did this?”
β€œI think,” He says, handing her a cup of coffee, β€œThat you’re impulsive and you went to confront Brandon and you didn’t mean to kill him, but you did and now this is all to cover everything up.”
β€œOh,” She scoffs and starts walking away from him, β€œYou are delusional and a dick.”
He follows April into another room and closes the door behind them, β€œOpen the door.” She says when she realizes she’s shut in.
β€œYou and your stupid FBI team are making this whole police force look bad, you need to drop the investigation.”
β€œThe cases cross state lines, we have jurisdiction.”
β€œYeah, you would have jurisdiction if there was a real case, but there isn’t. You’re a pathological liar and you can’t even see it. Brandon Perry murdered your family and raped you and just can’t let it go.”
β€œYou’re a sick son of a bitch,” She walks around him to the door, but he turns quickly and places his palm against the door, slamming it shut again. β€œLet me out.” She says slowly.
β€œI’ll let you out when you promise me that you’re going to march out there and tell them that you’ve been lying this whole time and then march your pretty ass back to D.C.”
β€œOr what?”
β€œOr I’ll arrest you for the murder of Brandon Perry.”
β€œYou have no evidence.”
β€œOh, April, April, April. I know you know what a coerced confession is here. And I also know that you know a jury of your peers here in Maine would send you to prison for less.”
There’s a sharp knock on the door and Billy finally steps away. When she opens it, Hotch is on the other side, β€œEverything okay in here?”
β€œJust fine, Agent Hotchner. Isn’t that right April?” Billy says and grabs a strand of her hair, twirling it around his finger and tugging, exactly like he used to when he sat behind her in middle school.
April slaps her hand on his wrist and twists his arm around until he yells. β€œYou lay a hand on me or threaten me again, I will make sure you don’t have a career here anymore. Understood?”
β€œYou can’t--” He starts, but she twists his arm further.
β€œAm I clear?” She says again.
β€œAlright, fine!”
She shoves him away and he stumbles, nearly falling to the floor as April storms out, Hotch still standing in the doorway, watching Billy.
β€œI told you,” Billy says, pushing himself to standing, β€œShe’s a crazy bitch.”
β€œDetective, let me make myself very clear. If you continue to harass my agent or impede on this investigation in any way, not only will I make sure you never have a career in law enforcement again, I will arrest you for obstructing a federal investigation.”
Billy shakes his head, β€œShe’s got you all wrapped around her finger.”
β€œAnd I think your boss has you wrapped around his finger. He’s the one who arrested Brandon Perry. Seems like he would have a lot more to lose if he was wrong than you would.”
β€œHe wasn’t wrong.”
β€œThen let us conduct the investigation. If it leads back to Brandon Perry, then so be it.”
β€œYou really think she’d accept that?”
β€œIf the evidence led us there, she would. Now stay out of our investigation if you value your job.” Hotch leaves without giving him time to respond and then tries to find April.
β€œAre you alright?” He asks when he finds her. She’s sitting alone at a conference table.
β€œI’m fine, Billy’s just an asshole.”
β€œThere’s more to your relationship than you told me to begin with.”
She frowns, β€œWhat are you talking about?”
β€œYou said you came up here to visit a friend. Who were you visiting?”
β€œI’m tired of being interrogated--”
β€œThe reason Billy is so sure you killed Brandon Perry is because you were with him that night and then you left suddenly, isn’t it?”
April sighs and looks down at the table, β€œHotch, I appreciate everything you’re doing to help, but who I was with and what I was doing that night doesn’t change the fact that I didn’t kill Brandon so please just drop it.”
He shakes his head and he looks almost frustrated with April, but that doesn’t make any sense. Why would he care so much about her relationship with Billy? β€œI don’t understand why you would waste your time on a cop like that, look at what a mess it put you in.”
She frowns, β€œWith all due respect, sir, it’s really not your business who I’m sleeping with.”
β€œWhy did you leave that night if you didn’t kill Brandon?”
She scoffs, β€œI can’t believe this.”
β€œAnswer the question.”
She was angry with him. Practically bursting at the seams with rage. Just like every other man, thinking he’s entitled to everything about her. They all disappointed her in the end. β€œBilly and I had a fight and I wanted to be alone.”
β€œWhat was the fight about?”
β€œHe wanted to be an official couple again. I didn’t.”
β€œWhy not?”
She tilts her head to the side, β€œJust because I’m a good fuck doesn’t mean he gets to claim me. Like you said, he’s just a stupid cop and I could do better. Now will you leave me alone?”
April recognized that look in his eyes: He was jealous. Aaron Hotchner was jealous that she had a sexual relationship with another man. And suddenly her anger evaporated and was replaced by desire. She supposed she did always have a thing for older men which she was sure a profiler would say had to do with her dead dad. Either way, she sent a smoldering glare his way until he left her alone.
When he left, she rested her head on the table in exhaustion and didn’t notice Emily had approached until she heard the seat in front of her being pulled out. She raises her head and manages a smile, β€œHi.”
β€œHow are you doing?” She asks.
β€œBetter now that you’re here, I’m tired of all the men around here.”
She laughs, β€œGood. Well, the sketch artist is here and I’m sad to report that he is a man.” April groans. β€œBut, I will stay with you if you want and then I think we’re all going to work through the night, but Hotch was talking about bringing you back to the hotel to get some rest. It sounds like you had a rough day.”
β€œYeah,” She sighs, β€œCognitive interviews are the worst.”
As promised, Emily sits with her while she talks to the sketch artist and Hotch walks over not long after. When it’s finished, Emily gives your hand a squeeze and leaves with the sketch to pin to the evidence board.
β€œYou should get some rest, I’ll take you back to the hotel now.” Hotch says, hands in his pockets. It was intriguing to her that he could act like he didn’t just ask about her sex life only an hour ago.
β€œI can’t sleep in that room again.”
β€œYou can sleep in mine. I’ll sleep on the floor,” He adds quickly upon seeing the look on her face.
She sighs, β€œYou don’t have to sleep on the floor, just don’t touch me.”
β€œWon’t be a problem.” And with the indifference in his tone, she thought maybe she had actually imagined everything earlier.
β€œGreat.” She murmurs and gets up to walk out first.
Hotch stays behind for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose and Rossi comes up behind him, β€œYou picked a terrible time to start giving her hints about the way you feel, Aaron.”
β€œWe’re trying to solve a case about her family’s murder and all I can think about is how pissed off it makes me to know that she’s been sleeping with someone else.”
β€œYou’re human.”
Hotch just shakes his head and walks away.
***
β€œDaddy driving you home?”
The voice behind April makes her jump, her hand flying automatically to her gun.
β€œWoah, it’s just me April.” Billy laughs, leaning up against the station building, β€œYou really are on edge, lately, huh? A sign of guilt or genuine fear?”
She could strangle him right here, she thinks. But instead, she reigns in her temper and leans against the wall next to him, β€œWhat about your daddy, huh? Haven’t seen him here all day. Is he too busy making wrongful arrests?”
Billy scoffs, β€œYeah, and how’s your stupid little profile going? Did you find the real killer yet?”
She sighs, β€œYou cops are all the same, think your old fashioned police work is better than profiling.”
Billy looks like he’s about to respond, but Hotch walks through the door just then, β€œThere’s daddy, you better hurry up and get in the car like a good girl.”
Hotch barely registers what Billy’s said before April launches herself at him, fists flying. He immediately reacts, grabbing her arms, β€œHunter, hey, hey! That’s enough! Get in the car.” He says sternly.
She shakes him off, but walks to the car all the same.
β€œFucking bitch.” Billy mutters, drawing Hotch’s attention back to him.
β€œDetective, I thought I made myself clear that you were to stay away from my agent and out of my case.”
Billy steps up, eye to eye with Hotch, β€œThis is my station, agent. Back off.”
Hotch stares him down for a few more moments, β€œThe superintendent will be hearing from me tomorrow, at the very least you’ll be getting suspended. Maybe now’s a good time for you to clean out your desk.” And then he turns and walks back to the SUV, ignoring Billy’s curses behind him.
Once Hotch is in the SUV and starts driving away, he starts talking to April, β€œWhen you’re out in the field you represent me, you represent the team, and the whole bureau. You can’t just--”
β€œI don’t need a lecture right now.”
He’s surprised to hear tears in her voice and it softens him immediately, β€œApril, I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you today.”
β€œYou’ve only done what you need to do to solve the case, you shouldn’t apologize.”
β€œNo, no, I… I shouldn’t have questioned you about Billy earlier. You were right, it’s none of my business.”
β€œIt’s fine.” She says. First indifference, now an apology. Maybe she really had imagined everything. β€œI just want to sleep.”
***
Hotch works for a while by the light of the lamp when you get into bed, poring over the case files again and again, trying to figure out if they had missed anything. He’s pretty sure April is actually sleeping and once he’s sure he can’t get any more work done, he turns off the lamp and gets ready for bed.
He slips in the bed as quietly as possible, hoping not to wake her, but there’s the smallest moan that escapes her lips when the mattress shifts. A moment later, she turns over, still in sleep and slings her arm over his chest, sighing contentedly as she rests her head on his chest. Hotch freezes, unsure of how to react before slowly wrapping his arms around her in return. Her shampoo smells like peaches and vanilla and he breathes it in deeply knowing in the morning she’ll pretend this never happened.
***
When April wakes up and finds herself in Hotch’s arms, legs tangled under the sheets, she does her best not to panic. With the way they were positioned, it was clear she had initiated this which was all the more embarrassing. Lucky for her though, she doesn’t have to figure out her next move because his phone rings. She pretends to be asleep as he slowly comes to wakefulness and reaches for his phone.
β€œHotchner.” His voice is husky from sleep and it sends a thrill through her and she imagines for a moment what it would be like if Aaron Hotchner was hers. Then she hears Billy’s voice in her head calling him her daddy and the moment sours.
β€œOkay.” He says after a few moments, β€œWe’ll be there as soon as we can.”
He ends the call and sets the phone back on the nightstand, but to her surprise, he doesn’t immediately wake her. β€œAre you awake?” He whispers after a few moments and she tries not to balk.
β€œMmm.” Is all she manages and she keeps her eyes closed, not sure she can meet his eyes like this.
β€œThey’ve, um… Another family was killed last night.” He tries to say it as gently as possible, but she shoots up in bed anyway, β€œThe daughter was killed as well this time.”
She’s shaking her head, β€œNo… No, that can’t be. She has to… She can’t be dead.”
β€œIt’s probably a message to you.” Hotch says calmly.
She scoffs, β€œThat’s great. A whole family’s dead because of me.”
β€œThis isn’t your fault.”
β€œOh, like hell it isn’t.” She says, climbing out of bed and pulling on her jeans. She doesn’t fully realize who she’s getting dressed in front of until Hotch tries to subtly avert his eyes. β€œI should’ve solved this case years ago. I’ve known it was serial for a while. I could have saved them.”
β€œYou know as well as I do that thinking like that isn’t helpful for anyone.” He says, following her lead and getting dressed in front of her. The fact that they’re both acting like nothing out of the ordinary has taken place between them makes everything somehow even more intimate.
She sighs, β€œLet’s just get over there.” And she walks into the bathroom to brush her teeth.
***
April can feel the bile rising in her throat as her team mills around the crime scene. She’s crouched next to the girl, Layla, whose throat had been slit. She had also been stabbed too many times to be counted by the naked eye. Her eyes stared blankly ahead, but April could see the fear there. He had left her here, in front of her parents’ bodies, naked. β€œHe went through the entire ritual, even the shower, then brought her back down here and killed her.”
β€œHe’s always been very controlled and organized, but this last kill is full of rage.” Prentiss notices.
April frowns as she looks at Layla’s throat and notices that it almost seems to be bulging, β€œI think there’s something in her throat.” She pulls on her latex gloves while everyone crowds around her and then gently prys the girl’s jaw open. Reaching in, her fingers brush what feels like crumpled paper at the back of her throat and April pulls it out. Heart racing, she smooths it open.
Welcome home, April. I’d like to see the woman I’ve created. Arrive alone at the place where we first met, 20:00.
Everyone was silent as April read the note over and over after reading it aloud the first time. The word β€œalone” had been underlined several times. There was no threat attached to it, but April knew it was one all the same.
β€œWe’ll have to call SWAT and let them know, we’ll also have to prepare the local police--”
β€œNo.” April cut off Hotch, β€œYou can’t be serious, he said to come alone.”
β€œApril, his end game is clearly to kill you, if you go there by yourself you won’t come back out. And I already told you you’re not allowed to handle the arrest.”
β€œThis is our one shot to get him,” Her eyes water, β€œThis family died because of me--”
β€œHunter--”
β€œStop.” The tears fall down her cheeks and he wants to brush them away like he had the day before. β€œI won’t let this happen again, I’m going to see him by myself.”
β€œAt least go in with a wire, we’ll stay a safe distance away.” Morgan bargained.
She shifts her attention to Morgan, to her team who are all looking at her sadly. Concern dripping heavy from their limbs. β€œNo SWAT.” She insists, β€œJust this team.”
Hotch sighs and rubs a hand over his face, β€œYou’re sure you can handle this?”
She wasn’t, but she nods anyway.
β€œFine.” Is all he says before walking away.
***
Aaron is conscious of her eyes on him as he helps her put the wire on, β€œYou steer the conversation away from yourself when you’re in there. Don’t let your guard down for a second. He’s going to try to get in your head, blame you for what he’s done. Don’t let him, just feed his ego and then call us when you’ve got him. Okay?”
β€œYeah.” She says quietly.
He finishes putting the wire on and leans away from her in the surveillance van, β€œI can go in with you.” He says, giving it one last shot.
β€œNo.”
He nods resolutely, β€œPromise me you’ll walk out of there alive.” She avoids meeting his eyes, β€œApril.”
Finally she locks her eyes to his, β€œI’m scared.” She says, and her voice shakes.
It’s the first time he’s heard her admit it. He’d known she felt it, but she’d never admitted it. β€œListen to me.” He says firmly, β€œYou are not the twelve year old girl he knew. You’re stronger than him. You can do this.”
She takes a deep breath and nods, moving around him to exit the van.
β€œBe careful.” He says one last time and he thinks maybe she’s aware of just how worried he is about her, his eyes full of concern.
She gives him a small smile before turning away and walking down the street, rounding the last block to her childhood home, the house she hadn’t entered again since the murders. The town was small and since everyone knew what had happened there, it had never been sold.
April stands just outside the house for a minute, hand hovering just above her gun, trying to get both hands to stop shaking. Hotch believes in you. She reminds herself, recalling his words in the van. She can do this.
She’d been avoiding thinking about all his touches in the last few days. The way his rough, callused fingers felt so gentle on her face when she cried. The way he’d wrapped his arms around her in sleep, almost protectively. The way when he woke to answer his phone this morning he had absently stroked her shoulder. Did they mean anything to him or was he just an overworked, touch starved man, desperate for any sort of attention, even from her.
Shaking the thoughts from her head, she headed for the door, raising her gun as she approached. The door was already slightly ajar and she pushed it lightly with the pads of her fingers. Carefully, she cleared each room, heart ricocheting against her rib cage, though she already knew where he’d be waiting for her.
After they had found the last family, Garcia had been able to ID the killer based on the sketch and the tattoo as Allen Grey. He had the usual tough past, abusive father and mother, grew up in poverty. His parents died when he was still young and his older sister was left to take care of him, and she then continued the cycle of abuse, escalating to sexual assault. It explained the mercy for the young boys and torture of the eldest daughters, but April couldn’t bring herself to feel sympathy for him.
She stood at the top of the basement stairs, could already see the lights on down there and could hear Madonna’s Like a Virgin playing on vinyl. April hated the way her body reacted, the way everything in her was telling her to run. She was a federal agent for Christ’s sake, she took down killers like this one all the time. He was no different, she tried to assure herself, he was just like the rest. And then she steeled herself, brought her gun back up in front of her at eye level, and began descending the stairs.
β€œThere you are! Welcome home, April!” Allen says cheerfully as you point the gun at him, β€œNow, now, come on, I don’t have a weapon,” He raises his hands, β€œWhy don’t you holster that gun, Agent Hunter.” He had an arrogant smirk on his face.
Tears stung the corners of her eyes and her finger flexed on and off the trigger, wanting so bad to just pull it and be done with it. But she knew her team was listening and this was exactly why Hotch hadn’t wanted her in the field for this. She lowered her weapon and put it back in her holster.
β€œThat’s better. Why don’t you have a seat?” He gestured to the worn out table and chairs, β€œLet’s have a drink. Talk.”
She swallowed thickly, β€œNo thank you.” She managed.
β€œNo, come on now, April. We have to catch up!”
β€œWhy did you bring me here?”
He smiles at her again and comes closer to her. Slowly, he pulls a knife out of his pocket and brings it up for her to see. She balks, but he quickly grabs her from the back of her neck to keep her steady and runs the knife gently over her face. β€œYou were always so clever, April.” She keeps eye contact with him, doing her best not to show any fear. β€œSo pretty and smart. I only followed you, after, you know? You were… number two, I believe. I chased the high I got with you with everyone after, but none of them were the same.”
β€œIs that why you stopped for a while after the fourth family?”
He nods, β€œLike I said, you were always so smart. And then I saw how you became obsessed with people like me, went to college to study criminal justice, always thinking about me. Joined the FBI because you were so obsessed with me, weren’t you, little April?”
She wanted to spit in his face, but she remembered what Hotch said about feeding into his ego, β€œThey say you never forget your first.” She says cooly, almost seductively.
It works, an arrogant smile twists its way up his face and he pockets the knife. β€œAll I ever wanted was to find you,” She says, slipping into character, β€œSee those blue eyes again. I dream about them every night.” None of these statements are lies, but the tone she takes when delivering them, the sweetness she adds to it, the act she puts on makes bile rise in her own throat.
β€œI knew it.” He says, looking at her with newfound desire, β€œWe’re soulmates, you know?” His words are gentle, but he grips her by the hair again and pulls, exposing her neck. β€œLet’s run away together, baby.”
β€œOkay.” She says softly, β€œI’m ready.”
Hotch is already ordering the team to go in, jumping out of the back of the van with Morgan. Through his earpiece, he listens closely to you. He can hear your fear in the way you’re breathing, but he’s not sure Allen is picking it up from you.
When she agrees to go with him, he spins her and shoves her against a wall, her head painfully bouncing off the cement. He laughs as she winces and then leans in to kiss her throat, β€œAre you going to tell your team to leave us alone?” He reaches under her shirt where the wire is and yanks it off her. β€œApril, April, April. My clever, clever girl. You had to know I would have expected you not to come by yourself.”
He pushes himself off her and walks to the table, reaching under it and pulling out a gun that he had taped there earlier.
April’s jaw tenses as he raises the gun to point it at her head, β€œYou won’t kill me.” She says smoothly, though she’s not sure she believes it herself.
β€œNo,” He cocks the gun and turns slightly to aim towards the doorway, β€œBut if Aaron Hotchner walks through that doorway I’ll kill him.”
She does her best to betray nothing, but a muscle in her jaw jumps involuntarily and he narrows his eyes at her, β€œYeah, I thought you liked him.”
β€œI care about everyone on my team.” She says stiffly.
He shakes his head, β€œNo. Don’t forget April, I’ve been watching you. I know your weaknesses as I’m sure you know mine and the past few days here I’ve noticed the way you look at Agent Hotchner when you think he’s not looking. But he always notices because he’s always aware of you, even when he tries his hardest not to be. So, April, I’ll give you one chance,” He hands the wire back over to her, β€œTell Aaron to back off.”
Reluctantly, she takes the wire from him. β€œHotch,” She breathes, β€œStand down.”
Hotch holds a hand up to the team on the outside, signaling them to stand down, though he can barely hear past the roaring in his ears.
β€œThere,” Her voice comes in his earpiece again, β€œAre you happy now?”
β€œI’ll be happy when he hears me kill you and knows there’s nothing he can do to stop it.”
β€œI thought we were running away together.”
β€œYou think I can’t tell when you’re playing me?”
β€œNo, I know you can’t tell when I’m playing you.” Something in April had unlocked when Allen threatened Hotch. Threatened her team. And she knew Hotch could hear them and though she had told him to stand down, he was trying to figure out another way to get to her. He wouldn’t stop until she was out of there, whether it ended with both her and Allen in body bags or Allen in cuffs. But she wouldn’t let it come to that.
β€œSince you’ve been watching me my whole life, you know the entire town thought I killed my own family and that I lied about the whole thing. Do you know why they thought that? Because they saw in me what my team sees in people like you.” She walks up to him, and though every instinct screams to run, she instead places a hand on his chest, β€œThat night… you made me into you. So no, Allen,” It’s the first time she uses his name and she relishes the shock that lights in his eyes, β€œYou can’t tell when I’m playing you.” Capitalizing on his surprise, she disarms him the way Morgan has drilled into her over and over, quickly slamming his wrist into the nearest surface and catching the gun when he releases his grip. Faster, she takes a step back from him and draws her gun as well, now pointing two weapons at him, β€œAnd I think you’ve overplayed your hand, babe.”
He raises his hands and now there’s genuine fear in his eyes, β€œApril--”
β€œI’d like you to very slowly remove the knife from your pocket and toss it to the floor and if you even think about launching it at me, just know that I am a very good shot and I have been dreaming about killing you every day since I was twelve, don’t tempt me.” Her voice shakes, but this time not from fear, but from anger that she’d harbored close to her chest since the man who stood in front of her stole everything from her.
As Allen slowly does as he’s told, April hears footsteps on the stairs and is relieved when she spots another gun trained on Allen in her peripheral. Morgan begins to walk to Allen, but April stops him, β€œNo.” She says, β€œI want to do it.”
He nods and redraws his gun, backing away. She holsters her own weapon and hands Allen’s gun back to Hotch without looking at him. Drawing cuffs from her pocket, she walks behind Allen who has managed to get a smirk back on his face. The sight breaks something in her and she roughly shoves him against the wall, feeling satisfaction at his grunt of pain when his face collides with the cement. She tightens the cuffs a bit more than necessary and begins stating his rights to him as she marches him up the stairs.
β€œI’m going to be a legend, you know? They’ll make all these dateline documentaries about me and the families I’ve killed.” He’s smiling still as April shoves him in the backseat of Billy’s police car. She’s trying not to think about the fact that he showed up here.
β€œPrisoners don’t look too fondly on those among them who kill and rape children, Allen, and I’m going to make sure that whatever cell block you rot in knows exactly what you’ve done. Have a nice life.” And she slams the car door.
Billy’s watching her as she does so, β€œI’m sorry.” He says simply.
April sighs, β€œI don’t care.” She says without looking at him and then walks away.
Hotch is watching her, arms crossed and frowning deeply. She stops in front of him, tilting her head to the side and noticing the concern written all over his face as he sizes her up, β€œThank you for backing off when I asked you to. I know that was hard for you.”
He simply pushes himself off the car that he was leaning against and pulls her to his chest. She feels surprised for a moment, but then wraps her arms around his waist in return, breathing him in, focusing on his touch rather than Allen’s. And when the sobs begin to wrack her body, he just holds her tighter. He knows the rest of the team is watching and maybe he’ll have to explain this later, the way he rests his head on top of hers to reassure himself as much as her, but he doesn’t much care. He’d been fairly certain she was going to die in there and he’d never have the chance to tell her how he really felt.
Hotch drives back to the hotel with her sleeping in the passenger seat. The medics had checked her out and concluded that she didn’t really have any injuries, but his heart had nearly shattered in his chest when April asked if there was any way they could refill her sleeping medication. They had been unable to, but decided to give her a few doses of ambien anyway, to last her until she could call her prescriber back in DC.
β€œYou can take as much time off as you need when we get back.” He had said as they climbed in the SUV, his too big FBI jacket wrapped tightly around her shoulders as she immediately popped the ambien in her mouth.
β€œI don’t need to take time off.” Was all she said before she curled herself in a tiny ball, facing the car door, and fell asleep only minutes later.
Now, he pulled into the hotel parking lot, rain falling gently against the windows and debated whether he should wake her. β€œApril.” He said softly, gently shaking her shoulder.
β€œMmm.” She murmurs and her eyes flutter. Still straddling the line between sleep and wakefulness, seeing Hotch’s face above hers prompts a small smile. β€œAaron.” She says softly and reaches her hand up to touch his face.
Hearing her use his first name so tenderly sends a jolt through him, but he reminds himself that she’s sedated, albeit lightly, from the ambien. β€œDo you think you can walk up to the hotel room?”
She nods sleepily and he quickly gets out of the car to help her out of the other side, pulling the hood of his jacket over her head to shield her from the rain. She walks slowly because of the drug, but he doesn’t mind. And when she slides her hand down to his to intertwine their fingers, he doesn’t mind that either. When they get to the hotel room she wordlessly strips down to her underwear and climbs into bed.
He stares at her for a while, unsure if she would want him in the bed or not, and decides it’ll be safest to sleep on the couch. He begins taking some cushions off the couch when he hears her voice, β€œAaron?” There was his name again. He wasn’t sure why hearing her say it had him coming undone, but he wanted her to repeat it over and over again.
β€œYes?”
β€œWhy won’t you come to bed?”
He opens and closes his mouth a couple times before responding, β€œI was going to sleep on the couch.” She’s quiet for too long and he thinks she must’ve fallen asleep so he turns back to the couch.
β€œI don’t want to sleep alone.” Her voice is so quiet, he wonders if he imagined it. But when he turns back to the bed, she’s watching him, eyes full of sadness and what he thinks might also be desire. He can’t say no to her. She continues watching him as he takes off his clothes, first unbuttoning his shirt. She watches him carefully, no traces of shyness and he tries his best not to let on the way her attention affects him. He undoes his belt buckle and then pulls off his pants before walking to the bed, pushing the sheets aside, and climbing in.
She turns to him and brings their faces close enough that just another inch would have them rubbing noses together. β€œWhy have you been so nice to me this whole case?”
It’s not what he was expecting her to say and he frowns, β€œIt was a tough case for you that brought back a lot of trauma, why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”
She shrugs, β€œI know you’ve never liked me the way you like the rest of the team--”
β€œThat’s not true--”
β€œAaron.” He wonders if maybe she’s caught on to the way saying his name affects him as his mouth closes immediately, β€œI’m not stupid, I haven’t been here nearly as long as the others and I certainly never open myself up in front of them the way the rest of you do. It’s not anyone’s fault, I’m just… Not a part of the family. But this case… You treated me the way you would treat Reid, JJ, Morgan, Prentiss… Any of them. Why?”
β€œThe second you join this team you’re a part of this family and I’m sorry we made you feel otherwise.”
She rolls her eyes and turns her head to look at the ceiling, β€œWould you have shared a bed with any of them?”
Heat floods his face and he’s glad she’s not looking at him. β€œNo.” He says and he’s sure his voice, thick with desire has betrayed him.
But April only nods, still staring at the ceiling, β€œIs it just because you’re lonely?”
It’s then that he realizes what she’s getting at. He hears the vulnerability in her voice, the fear there. She thinks she’s not good enough for him and it breaks his heart even further. β€œApril, look at me.” She manages to turn her head to him and her eyes are glassy. β€œYou have shown the last few days how incredibly resilient, intelligent, and just amazing you are. You can’t really think that the only reason I keep reaching for you is because I’m lonely.”
She smiles sadly, β€œYou wouldn’t be the first.”
A lesser man would’ve taken this personally, perhaps groan about how she could think so little of him, but Aaron was different. He understood what she’d been through, that he could have been Superman himself and she’d still have her doubts.
β€œThen I suppose I’ll have to prove it to you.”
She turns her head back to him and frowns, a trace of amusement on her face, β€œAnd how do you plan on doing that?”
Hesitantly, he reaches out and strokes a thumb across her cheek, β€œI’d like to start by just holding you tonight, if that’s alright.”
She closes her eyes at his touch, nuzzling her face further into his palm and he melts. β€œI’d like that.” She says softly.
So he gently wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her to him. Her little sigh of contentment as she settles against his chest is almost too much for him to take. β€œAaron?” She says after he's spent a few moments just listening to her heartbeat.
β€œHm?”
β€œYou’re the only man I’ve ever felt truly safe around.”
He feels her sadness then and he tightens his grip around her to convey that he’s sorry she feels that way, but he’s grateful for her trust. They fall asleep like that and neither attempt to move away from the other the entire night.
***
β€œSo this is a date.” It had been about two months since they had gotten back from Maine and Aaron had been nothing but a gentleman to her. So much so, in fact, that at some points she thought he was no longer interested in her.
He chuckles, β€œIt’s not a date. We’re meeting the team.”
β€œYes, but you’re taking me,” April grins, linking her arm through his as they walk towards the bar, β€œSo it’s a date.”
β€œIf it was a date I would’ve done this--” Hotch spins her in front of him and abruptly kisses her. At first, she freezes, but when he gently nips at her bottom lip she moans slightly, kissing him back. As sudden as it began, it ends and Aaron is staring at her with a look of such arrogant satisfaction she wants to slap him.
β€œOkay, so it is a date.” She murmurs quietly as Aaron steps around her and walks away, β€œI knew it.”
When Aaron opens the door to the bar for her, he casually slips his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers. He notes her questioning look from the corner of his eye, but just squeezes her hand in response. And instead of detaching herself from him when the team notes their arrival, she squeezes his hand in return, even when the relentless teasing from the team commences.
Aaron only slips away from her to go get them drinks and even then she looks back for him. It’s the most unsure of herself he’s ever seen her and it only broadens his grin.
β€œYou finally did it, eh? Attaboy, Aaron.” Rossi’s already at the bar, a whiskey in hand and another on the bar that he slides to Aaron. He takes it and then orders April a gin and tonic.
β€œIt’s just one date, Rossi. She’s still… hesitant.”
β€œShe doesn’t look hesitant,” Rossi says, looking over his shoulder, β€œShe hasn’t taken her eyes off you since you walked away from her.”
Aaron smirks, β€œYes, well, I’ve discovered playing hard to get is very effective with her.” He tips the bartender and clinks his glass with Rossi before walking back over to April. When he hands her the drink, she seems to shrink into his side, taking larger gulps of her drink than he thought she should.
β€œSlow down,” He plucks the drink from her hand and places it on a nearby table, β€œWhy are you so nervous?”
β€œLook at all of them just staring at us, I feel pressured.”
β€œPressured into what, being with me?”
β€œAaron, no,” She places a hand on his arm, sensing the insecurity rising in him, β€œI want to be with you.”
β€œThen what?”
She shrugs and reaches for her drink again, but Aaron covers her hand before she can, clearly expecting an answer from her. She sighs and looks up at him, β€œI feel pressure to be perfect because I can see on their faces how much they love you and I don’t want to fuck this up and then you all hate me because I wasn’t good enough for you.” It all comes out in a rush and she feels breathless after admitting it, her cheeks reddening as he lifts his hand, allowing her to reach for her drink.
β€œApril, they like you just as much as they like me.” She rolls her eyes and he reaches out to tip her chin up gently with his fingers, β€œYou could never mess this up.”
β€œI messed it up with Billy.”
He drops his hand, unable to hide the annoyance and jealousy on his face at the mention of Billy, β€œBilly was an immature boy who didn’t know how to treat you anyway.”
She smirks, β€œAnd you’re a big strong man who can sweep me off my feet at a moment’s notice?” He manages the smallest of smiles as a slow song starts playing, β€œCome on, Hotchner. Ask me to dance.”
β€œYou want to dance in front of the team?”
β€œWell you brought me here to show me off, didn’t you?” He gives her a look like he’s offended she would even think so and she laughs, β€œPlease?” She pouts, β€œBilly would dance with me if he were here.” She adds teasingly, her eyes glittering with mischief.
Hotch shakes his head at her, but he’s grinning, β€œYou love causing trouble, don’t you?” And she laughs in response as he takes her hand and pulls her to the dance floor, letting his left hand rest gently on the small of her back, his other hand holding hers.
He twirls her around the room and with the whole team watching, he kisses her as the song ends. Their lips worked together to teach each other their own dance and for a moment, it’s just the two of them, until the rest of the team starts jeering and April pulls away, her face flushed. Aaron is still looking at her, smiling and she reaches up with her thumb to swipe at his mouth, β€œI got some lipstick on you.” She says quietly.
β€œCan I take you home?” He says finally and his voice is husky and full of want.
She wonders if he’s aware of how alluring the sound of his voice is. β€œYeah.” She responds swallowing.
He leads her out of the bar after much protesting from the rest of the team, but all he wants and needs is to get April, April who’s smiling at him from ear to ear, home and in bed with him. They settle into their new relationship with ease, the team noting that they’d never seen either of them smile so much and all of April’s fears and insecurities melted away day by day.
As long as her unit chief quietly placed a coffee on her desk every morning with a sweet note attached to it, she figured she could overcome anything.
220 notes Β· View notes
mimibtsghost7 Β· 3 years
Note
Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!
NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~
TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HEREΒ and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost.Β 
funny enough:Β 
I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^
I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.
I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^
Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life.Β 
Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol).Β 
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Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people wereΒ β€œrats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers:Β β€œfriends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well ..Β  guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me?Β 
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Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people callΒ β€œfamily friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right:Β 
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Β Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me:Β 
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idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first.Β 
Fetishism /ˈfΙ›tΙͺΚƒΙͺz(Ι™)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.
Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.
Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony.Β 
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So, I went to see that post you made about me withΒ β€œPROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them?Β  You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?
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Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^
The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.
Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.
Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that?Β 
When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut withΒ β€˜Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me:Β β€œGo kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer wasΒ β€œtrue ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?
Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony
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Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?
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One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of yourΒ β€œwork” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner.Β 
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Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever.Β 
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Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it:Β  a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.
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What can you expect from someone who has theΒ β€œI am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?
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This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?
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I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd inΒ β€˜pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~Β 
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Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left.Β  As for me @hobisbeautifulass​ you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~Β 
And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.
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Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^Β 
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You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~
131 notes Β· View notes
aerialflight Β· 3 years
Text
Fic Recs (cause it's always nice to give a shout out and get people into things I'm into rn)
[The Magnus Archives] (I recently finished the podcast and I fell into a hole for a while so here you go)
Sing a Song of Sixpence by Kaiel
Ship: Jon/Martin
In which Jonathan Sims is a Siren, and he fails to notice any new abilities granted to him by the position of Archivist. Or really anything about the Entities at all.
Takes place in season 1 featuring Jonah Magnus’s slow decent into madness
(The new mythology interwoven with tma's worldbuilding is so freaking good and I love how all the characters change and develop because of these changes. Also, f you Elias)
Along Came a Spider by Dribbledscribbles
Ship: implied Jon/Martin
Sasha James is the Archivist, as expected. Martin Blackwood is menaced by Jane Prentiss, as expected. Elias Bouchard weaves his web, as expected.
All goes as it should.
At least until something calling itself Jonathan Sims steps in.
(Web!Jon in this makes me want to weep, it's so freaking good. A pretty long, very excellent oneshot on what could've happened if Jon got taken by the web when he was a kid. And Sasha as the Archivist is ALWAYS so cool, we love her in this house.)
A Break in the Clouds by Ash_Rabbit
β€œI’m eight.” the kid sniffs as if eight was any different from four, maybe not an unspeakable horror then, just a regular horror. β€œAnd I heard that the Magnus Institute deals with-” his little nose scrunches, cute. β€œ-spooky things.”
β€œDo you have a-” he cracks a grin, and then rethinks it as small hands tighten against their burden.”-spooky thing to deliver?” gods he hopes not, it’s bad enough when adults walk in and lay out all of their baggage, but for a child-
β€œThere’s a spider in this book.” the kid says solemnly, raising his textbook sized parcel. β€œIt ate Evan Pritchard.” a bloody fucking Leitner. Of course an eight year old would find a murder spider book. β€œThis seemed like the best place to bring it.”
(I never thought about what the Original Elias could've been like AND NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF THIS FIC. I LOVE HIM, HE'S COMPLEX AND HE CARES AND JON CARES AND THEY BOTH CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT, OMG. Also, Jon being even smaller than usual is adorable, so cute. No wonder Elias wants to hug him, a LOT.)
See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea by The_Floating_World
Ship: Jon/Martin, Jon/Oliver Banks
When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.
(One of my all time fave fics in this fandom, no questions asked. I have reread this three times and am open to doing it again, god. Vast!Jon, such a concept. It's written so beautifully and the relationships Jon develops, so good. ugh. My heart. Please please read.)
Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing
Ship: Jon/Martin
β€œCome in, Martin,” he says, not looking up from his notes.
β€œHi, Jon,” he says, and Jon stops writing at the sound of his voice. β€œWe’re out of the green tea, but we’ve got lemon?”
Jon looks at him. Martin smiles at him in his usual tentative way as he sets the mug of tea down on Jon’s desk. Heat spikes so sharply in his gut that he twitches with it.
β€œThank you, Martin,” he says, mouth dry, and he stands up.
β€œOh,” he says, sounding almost surprised. He smiles again. β€œNo-- no problem-- um, what are you--”
Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.
(You have no idea how much I howled through this fic, my god. *buries face in hands* The number of times I wanted to cry from sheer hilarity and horror reading this good lord.)
Things Could Always Be Worse by theOestofOCs
Ship: Jon/Martin, Georgie/Melanie
Sometimes, the most horrifying thing of all is what might have been.
Somewhere, Jon could swear he heard a crowd laughing.
Or: in which Jonathan Sims is forced to swap places with his alternate selfβ€”a tall, chivalrous hero extraordinaire, who knows neither fear nor nuanceβ€”and is sent to the aggressively straight alternate universe the Magnus Archives was never meant to be.
β€œWhatever place this is,” Jon announced, β€œI just want to be sure it knows I hate it.”
(I will say this once, THIS IS THE MOST CURSED THING IVE EVER READ EVER. Like holy hell. I can't believe this thing exists. please read it oh please please please)
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[Supernatural]
heard from your mother (she don't recognize you) by Schmuzz
Ship: Dean/Cas, Jessica/Sam
A man named Cas wakes up in 2003 with no memories, but he's able to piece together a few things:
1. Supernatural creatures exist, and most of them will hurt innocent civilians if he doesn't stop them; 2. He has abilities that no human hunter should have, but he knows enough about human hunters to keep that to himself, and finally; 3. He keeps running into another hunter named Dean Winchester, who seems to be about as lonely as he is if he's willing to put up with those former facts long enough to help Cas unravel the mystery of who (or what) he really is.
For his part, Dean's still (not) dealing with Sam's departure to Stanford, and figures distracting himself with a bit of mystery and intrigue is as harmless as it gets, right? Right.
(THE fic I'm most into right now, been following this from the very start and it's AMAZING. Cas has agency and is making friends and S1 Dean is growing out of John's influence and is becoming a Person and the both of them first being friends then more. The slow burn as their relationship develops, SO GOOD. SO SO DAMN GOOD. *screams* Seriously one of the best spn fics I've read in a long, long time.)
anamnesis by cenotaphy
Ships: Castiel/Dean, Sam/Eileen
Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be.
* Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19.
(THIS IS THE FIC THAT GOT ME THROUGH THE FINALE OKAY. WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN CANON. It's Disturbing and honestly plot-wise this makes more sense. Why couldn't we have had this. *screams*)
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[Avatar: The Last Airbender]
where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor
Ship: Sokka/Zuko
When Azula is nine, she becomes an only child. She hears the Fire Lord call for Zuko's life, and in the morning, her mother and brother are gone. Azula may be young, but she isn't naive. She knows what happened to them.
Which makes it all the more surprising when Azula tracks the Avatar down and fights his group of peasant friends, only to find herself staring into an eerily familiar face.
(The fact one of the tags in this fic is, "Sibling Dynamic: Fucked Up But Wholesome" should give you an idea what this fic is like. Chaotic as HELL and I just love Azula here, she loves Zuko so much in her messed up way and Zuko loves her back in the exact same way lol. It's batshit and I am Here For This.)
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[Naruto]
Eclipse by AislingRoisin (JayBird345) for HybrisAnaideia
Ship: Nara Shikaku/OFC
"In life, it's easier to remain stagnant and wallow in your troubles. But life isn't merely about continued existence, nor is it meant to be gone through alone."
(This is a fic that's slept on and I NEED people to read this. A self-insert fic that I find really interesting in its approach and the worldbuilding for the post-third war shinobi world is fantastic. I feel like there's a certain pattern with self-insert fics, not that is a detriment in any way to how much I enjoy them, so this fic feels fresh to me in a way I haven't read in a while. I am waiting eagerly for this to get updated! Please read!)
On Freedom and Other Formalities by iaso
Ship: Kakashi/Genma/OFC
When push comes to shove, Hiwa Inuzuka doesn't go down easy. Reborn into a new, dangerous world? She puts her past life as a spy to work. Thrown into a war? Hiwa does her duty, for Konoha. And when she's forced into an arranged marriage? All there is to do is beat them to the punch and get married first. Thankfully, Genma Shiranui is willing to lend a hand. Literally. SI/OC
(Listen, LISTEN, it's about the slow burn, the longing, the communication (it both has and hasn't and isn't THAT great??), the messy way you fit three very different people together, it's so freaking good! Also, Kakashi is so Chaotic here this is my fave characterization of him, you can't change my mind. And Genma is a Good Boi who is Doing His Best, along with the Self-insert character who I LOVE SO MUCH, SHE'S FANTASTIC FNEIWOPAF. Sped past this fic in the speed of light, I could not stop reading!)(Honestly, read all of the author's fics, they're all really REALLY good!)
Building a Castle by WhisperingDarkness
Without needing anyone to tell her, Sakura knew that talking to someone no-one else could see or hear would make her weird. It would draw the bad kind of attention to her, something people could make fun of her for.
She didn’t like being weird, but she did like the voice. Her inner voice was helpful and it was a part of her that had always been there. The idea of it not being there would have been so much weirder than anything else.
It was during her first year at the Academy that Sakura realised the voice was not in her head at all, but that it came from a cloudy shape floating next to her.
(Basically a short-ish retelling of Hikaru no Go. Only with more Shogi and Nara and Ninja's)
(Sakura can see ghosts (I'm noticing this is a popular trope for her) and it's really cute haha! Her relationship with Tobirama is sweet and I just enjoyed reading this so much.)
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[The Magicians]
So Long (And Thanks For All The Books) by IncompleteSentanc (Erava)
Ships: Quentin/Eliot, James/Julia, Quentin/Margo/Eliot
When Quentin is told Julia wasn't admitted to Brakebills, he realizes he has a drastic decision in front of him. If he tells Julia about magic, he'll have his mind wiped as well as hers. But he can't just leave her behind, either. He can't lose his best friend, and he can't let her life a life with her magical potential stolen away from her.
So he makes a third choice.
(Really, and I mean REALLY well-done canon divergent fic, this is the Quentin & Julia friendship fic I have been looking for forever. It explores so much of what could've happened and I just love Quentin here, I really really do. Characterization done so right. I also recommend the author's other works too. Been a follower of them for a long time, they're great.)
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[Game of Thrones]
The Road to Victory by writing_as_tracey
Too late in preparing for the Night King and the Long Night, the last stand at Winterfell is close to falling. Bran takes desperate measures to ensure victory, and Jon, Sansa, and Arya pay the price for it in a time unfamiliar to them, on the cusp of another war. [GoT, time-travel fix it]
(I swear, this fic made me laugh so many times, all the Stark are BAMF and fantastic, and Rhaegar gets Wrecked lol. It's crack btw, and the plot goes in directions you'll never guess and it's amazing hahaha!)
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[Haikyuu!!] (I am very very late to the fandom but here I am)
Ballare (To Dance) by MidnightSparks
Ship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, and platonic Kageyama & Kentarou (really love their friendship)
Kageyama’s first love is volleyball. His second, however, is ballet.
In one world, Kageyama Tobio is left behind by his parents. In this world, the existence of soulbonds keeps Kageyama’s parents in Miyagi and leaves Kageyama in the care of his grandma and grandpa.
(In which soulmates exist and that changes everything and nothing at the same time.)
(*buries face in hands* I have fallen for this ship so hard and I can't get out fudge me. I understand now. Their DYNAMICS FIEWONPAF)
Kings of Tomorrow by bokubroya (liarielle)
Ship: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
On the eve of Tobio’s 16th birthday, he counts down the seconds to midnight, and emerges with Oikawa Tooru’s name on his wrist.
It’s been two years since then, and Tobio thought they had an understanding. A silent, never spoken about understanding that this thing between them is nothing, and they’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist.
Of course, it’s just like Oikawa to change the game and leave Tobio wondering what comes next.
(I am WEAK for soulmate fics between these two, I don't even really like soulmate fics half the times what is WRONG WITH ME-)(Please suffer with me, I'm begging you. Its a good fic, thumbs up.)
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[Crossover]
Honey and Magic by JustARatherVerySillyWriter, White_Squirrel for Super Carlin Brothers
Fandoms: Matilda (yeah you read that right), Harry Potter
Everyone knew Matilda was a rather extraordinary child, but even she didn't know she was a witch. Matilda Honey receives her Hogwarts letter in the year of the Triwizard Tournament, and soon, she will leave her unique mark on the magical world.
(Do I even need to explain how amazing it is to have Matilda in the wizarding world? And Matilda is a HUFFLEPUFF AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL THIS FIC IS GREAT PLEASE READ!!!)
An Eye for an Eye by DpsMercy
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives, Welcome to Night Vale
In which Jonathan Sims is not from the UK but instead, if you took his origins and turned them sideways twice then flipped them over, he technically would be from the US, the town of Night Vale specifically. Elias can’t do shit about it and gets a headache and slowly creeping madness instead.
(Look, I know probably everyone has read this because if they haven't, what have you been DOING with your lives??? Jon interning at Night Vale is Incredible, nothing phases this man, it's Delightful. I laughed so many times reading this, I'm not even kidding right now. Read or perish.)
The Favour by R_Cookie
Fandoms: Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Ship: Original Percival Graves/Harry Potter
Percival is ten years old when his grandfather tries to tell him that he's ensured the greatness of the Graves legacy for him, that he ought to be eternally grateful - but the explanation is hijacked by a stranger who manages to intimidate Chester Graves with an ease never seen before.
or: Hadrian (Harry) Potter is the Master of Death, who grants Graves a boon. Nobody could have known that the Deathly Hallows didn't turn you so much into the 'Master of Death' as into the anthropomorphic personification of Death. And so, Death becomes Percival's guardian angel, and Percival does not spit out his cereal.
(Look, I don't know how I stumbled back into the FBAWTFT fandom either, it just happened and I'm grateful for that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found this amazing fic. Their relationship is slow and strange and I just love how Percival is characterized here. Also, one of the tag promises that it deviates from canon so I am really, really excited for that! XD)
baby that's what i do by natanije
Fandoms: Naruto, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
"Are you telling me," Hidan exclaims, incredulous, "that you collect money all this time to give to orphans?!"
Kakuzu pauses. He blinks a few times.
"Huh. I guess I do."
(Tsuna reincarnates as Kakuzu and it's HILARIOUS. HE'S SUCH A MOM HAHAHA)
97 notes Β· View notes
thisdreamplace Β· 3 years
Note
ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?
Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day
thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!
this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol
firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.
β€œBUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> β€œi felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.
i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!
the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.
you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying β€œLET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.
to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.
No One To Change But Self
There is Nothing to Forgive
How to Sit with Your Triggers
give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. πŸ’–
19 notes Β· View notes
colorfulyetsinful Β· 4 years
Text
Road Tunes Headcannon; Batfam:
Batfam (Dick, Jason, Tim, Steph, Cass, Y/n and Damian) fighting over the aux cord during a road trip.... Yeah, this came to me head one day so I did it.
I’m doing a lot of writing rn, and getting to my request (it just takes time to write, plus I’m lazy, but I’m working on then), but I want to do something special for BabyDami(β„’)’s birthday. If anyone got any suggestions I’m all ears. I have something in mind, but I’ll be happy to hear them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It would be a simple trip as a family.
Until dick asks for the aux.
Jason: OH NO, WE ARE NOT LISTENING TO WHATEVER YOU CALL MUSIC, DICK!!!!
Everyone,
And I mean everyone,
Refuses to giving him the aux cord.
Till you ask for it only to hand it to Dick be cause you LOVE ABBA too.
Screaming every lyric because while on full volume.
Y/n: YOU CAN DANCE! YOU CAN SHIIIIINNE! HAVING THE TIME IF YOUR LIFFFEEEEEEE!!!!”
Everyone tries to get the aid back, but is slapped, punched, or pushed by you.
Dick: DANNNNCCCINGGGG QQUEEEENNNNNNNN!!
Jason gets his hands on the aux.
All hell brakes lose.
Tim: Jason, please. For the love of all things bats, don’t.
*dun* *dun* *dun* *dun*
It’s MCR
Because Jasonβ„’.
You jam to everything because you drive with every single one of them and the radio is controlled by the driver.
Jason (just to annoye his siblings) screeches every note.
You tag alone because MRC. Who does love them.
Jason: Wβ‚•β‚‘β‚™ α΅’ wₐₛ ₐ yβ‚’α΅€β‚™g bβ‚’y,
Y/n: β‚˜y fβ‚β‚œβ‚•β‚‘α΅£ β‚œβ‚’β‚’β‚– β‚˜β‚‘ α΅’β‚™β‚œβ‚’ β‚œβ‚•β‚‘ cα΅’β‚œy
It’s either that, or literally any edgy ansty emo band during his time.
Cuz he sad boy that needs daddy’s love.
The aux is pulled out of Jason’s phone before the song could continue...
(You don’t want JasΓ³n to continue his playlist)
Your given the aux next,
And, uhhhh
Let’s just thought they where safe.
Y/n: because wE’RE SOARINGGGGG,”
* Dick joins in because come on his dude LOVES HSM
Dick: FLLLLYYYYINGGG-
Nope not doing that. Dick starts singing we’re not playing it!
Tim has the aux....
Plays meme songs.
(SwOtY hAd ThEm ApPlE bOtToM jEaNs BoOtS wItH tHe FuR)
(Sorry that’s really suck in my head lol)
This time, he plays.....
β€œAll Stars” from Shrek....
The ear rape version.
....Why did we allow him...
You’re just laughing along with Tim and Steph while everyone is trying to lower the volume the still stays up.
Steph’s turn.
She plays musicals
Like Hamilton, dear Evan Hanson, mean girls (dicks and steph’s favorite)
But everything is CANCELED when heathers start playing...
Dead girl walking?
More like β€œSteph STOP IT BABYDAMI’S INNOCENCE!!!!!”
Speaking of Damian,
He’s not given the cord.
It mostly because all he wants to listen to is classical (what everyone assumes)
In reality he just wants to listen to some kpop.
What? He like a culture shift.
Plus you listen to it, and you drive him everywhere.
You ask for the aux again, hesitant, but they hand it back to you.
In which, you please BabyDami by playing black pink, and bts
Damian is quite in the back seat, but covers his mouth so no one could see him mouthing the words.
(Lmaoo he’s so cute.
Just,
Ahhhhhhhbjikblknopbva
His little self in the back seat trying not to be heard, it’s so cute. uwu
Ok I’m done.)
No one really notices.
Too busy in the fact that your crying in your seat because
AHHHHHHHHHHJUYTRDESXCVGHJKL SUGGGAAA AND JUNGKOOK’S VOICE!!!!!
Heart attack.
...
Ummm yeah they stop handing you the aux at this point.
Cass is the last to get it.
She’s been calmly and quietly waiting for her to get her hands on it and...
Everyone is into Cass’s playlist.
She has what everyone wants: Backstreet Boys, musicals, 80s, emo rock.
Yeah everyone is jamming.
TELL ME WHY!!!
AINT NOTHING BUT A HEARRRRTTTACCHHEE
TELLL MEEE WHHYYYYYY?!?!?
AINT NOTHING BUT A MISSSSTTTAAKKKKKEE!!!!!
Dick: NOW NUMBER 5
You and Damian: IIII NEVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAYYYY
WAOH!
I WANT IT THATTTT WAYYYY!
You all wonder my you didn’t just give Cass the aux in the beginning.
625 notes Β· View notes
venomous-ko Β· 3 years
Text
Wine Drunk while watching Godzilla vs Kong
Some major spoilers up ahead!
Mans really just annoyed the shit out of his coworker until he left so he could hack shit, huh?...I love it! 🀣🀣
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
You mean to tell me that the explanation for why Godzilla attacked the one tech company site by the dude who studied Kaiju communication and behavior for a living is just, β€œsometimes people (and creatures) change”???? Like some dumbass justifying a toxic person/relationship??? Like excuse me???? Why are the literal teenagers making more sense than you?????
Also, we’re all in agreement that this facility is either housing Ghidora’s dead head, Mecha Godzilla, or Mecha Ghidora, right?!?
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Lol! β€œApex Cybernetics!” That’s not foreshadowing! 🀣
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Apparently, I didn’t get my fill of white nonsense from Falcon and Winter Soldier, bc someone decided to put this blonde-hair-blue-eyed little bitch in charge! That’s not ganna go wrong somehow. πŸ™ƒπŸ˜‘πŸ‘€
Like this bitch literally wanted to send a fucking child into unexplored hollow earth territory without a second thought! πŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒ I was literally like πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–•πŸ–• for that entire convo.
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
I’m sorry! This conspiracy man just met these teenagers, and his first impulse was, β€œyeah, theses seem like some good people to break into a tech conglomerate with!” 🀣🀣🀣🀣
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Why are these people surprised Kong knows sign language? These are people who study Kaiju (and presumably other animals in order to draw conclusions about certain behaviors) for a fucking living!!! We have primate species that recognize and communicate in sign language already! Why is this surprising???!?! Like...has NO ONE except this precious child tried this????
Also, nothing bad better happen to this child.
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
That ship literally fucked around, and Godzilla let it find out! Lmao!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Kong: Hey, Godzilla...look at me...
Godzilla: >:[
Kong: ...bitch.
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Precious girl: Thank you, friend πŸ§πŸ½β€β™€οΈ
Kong: ☺️😴
THIS GIRL IS TOO PRECIOUS!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Bitch-ass White Man: How’s Kong with heights?
BITCH, you really ganna try that?!?! You really think you ganna find any aircraft(s) that are ganna be able to support all that weight?? Never mind any other problems with Kong trying to nope the fuck out of that situation and all kind of other hosts of problems!
And if you do somehow have one (or multiple) WHY TF DIDN’T YOU USE THAT BEFORE KNOWING FULL AND WELL YOU RAN THE RISK OF GODZILLA MERCING KONG’S ASS IF YOU TRAVELED VIA SHIP!?!?!?!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Down the Hell Naw tunnel we go!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œI think it’s romantic,”
I fucking love Millie Bobbie Brown’s character!! 🀣❀️🀣
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
WHY IS THIS TEENAGER SMARTER THAN EVERYBODY OMG!!!!! 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œThis is page one in the β€˜Playing God’ handbook, right?”
I’ve decided I love this character! 🀣
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
WHY YOU GETTING INSIDE THAT THINGβ€”Oh god! 😨 Why y’all got eggs!?!? This is like if Weyland-Yutani succeeded in getting Xenomorphs! 😬
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Oop! Locked in! THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T HIDE OUT IN MYSTERIOUS ROOMS!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Oh shit! Apex Cybernetics think they on that Wakanda shit now!
Also, why was that one Apex Cybernetics bitch bitching about how one of those HEAV crafts could power Vagas for a week if y’all clearly have a whole network or transportation using this tech!
And I never understood how tech companies kept that shit to world domination shit! Build a public transportation system with that shit! Boss man said he likes ideas that make him rich! Pretty sure that would do the trick!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
WINE BREAK!!!
Saving the rest of the last bottle for coking Gumbo, so gotta open up a new bottle
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Aw, Kong is so sick of this bullshit! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œIt’s not working”
Bruh! Give it more that two seconds!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
HOW DARE Y’ALL USE KONG’S LOSS AGAINST HIM!!!! HOW DARE Y’ALL!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
HEAV go Brrrrrrr Shoooooooooooom!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
LMAO!!! Monarch has their own brand of bottled water!?!?! Idk why that amuses me so much!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
This hallow earth portal thing is some Pacific Rim bullshit right here, lol!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
NYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Are we...are we really Ice Age: Dawn of Dinosaur-ing this shit rn??? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œIt’s beautiful,”
Of course it’s beautiful! No hoomins have touched it! Lol
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Y’ALL GOT FUCKIN DRAGONS IN THIS BITCH!?!?!?!!! 8D YO!!! SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
*marvels at the creature creation ideas*
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Kong’s first thought: *nom the dragon guts*
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
THE ROCK HAND OMG IM GANNA CRY!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 It’s the same gesture the Precious Girl did OMG!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œWe going in?”
β€œYeah”
The BALLS on this child!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œAAAAHH πŸ˜β€
*fear*
LMAO!!!!! I’M FUCKIN WHEEZING!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œSacrifice Pit”
OMG 🀣🀣🀣
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
I KNEW IT!!!! MECHA-GODZILLA MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! 8DDDDD
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
YO PACIFIC RIM RAN SO MECHA-GODZILLA COULD FUCKIN SPRINT!!!!!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
YO IT’S A GOOD THING I AIN’T SEEING THIS IN THEATERS BC I’D BE FLIPPING MY SHIT!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œHumanity, once again, will be the apex species,”
THERE it is!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Why Mecha-Godzilla so skeeny?!? He need ta be thicc if he ganna take down REAL Godzilla!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
*Ryan Bergera conspiracy voice* Is this the real reason Kong was contained!? So this douche could snatch up Skull Crawlers without Kong intervention???
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
OH SHIT!!! I think this thing is emitting alpha waves (or whatever we’re calling it) and THAT’s what set Godzilla off!!! He fought Ghidorah, heard this shit and went, β€œNu-uh, bitch! NOT AGAIN!!!”
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Monarch dude: Yo, Godzilla’s headed to Hong Kong for some reason?
FUCKIN CALLED IT!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
This look like the door to fuckin General Grievous’s lair,da fuq?!? 🀣🀣🀣
οΏΌ β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
I got waaay too emotional over that handprint, y’all! 😭😭😭
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Y’all, the fucking art history major in me is fuckin screaming at this temple scene! The fact that some of these Kaiju not only had the urge and drive and capacity to build a fucking temple around this power source or some shit and create weapons like the axe that Kong just fucking Excalibured the shit out of that one skull crawler’s skull fucking implies the fact that there is intelligent civilization amongst these fucking Kaiju and all that shit! I want to know more about this shit! Take that you fucking racist-ass white historian motherfuckers!οΏΌοΏΌοΏΌ
(Note: I definitely needed to use talk to text for much of this bit, because there was no way I was going to be able to contain all my excitement in just typing, alone, lmao)
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
BRUH!!! Why y’all exiting g the HEAV without no breathing apparatus or lead suits or nothing!?!?! In previous movies, y’all implied that these Kaiju lived in environments in which their environments were hella radioactive compared to our own!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Kong is s the true heir to the iron throne, Lmao!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
FUCKING CALLED IT!!!! THEY HAD GHIDORA’S REMAINS IN THERE SOMEWHERE!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
OH FUCK!!!! Y’ALL AINT JUST SENDING OUT ALPHA VIBES WITH YOUR MECHA-GODZILLA!!!! YOU SOMEHOW USING GHIDORA’S HIVE MIND OR TELEPATHY SHIT TO DO IT!?!?!?! AAAWWWWW SHEEEEEET!!! Y’ALL ARE BONED NOW!!!! FUCKIN BONEROWNED!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Godzilla! My bruh! My dude! You didn’t HAVE TO get up right where that bridge was!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Ya douche bag!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
At the same time, tho, I can just hear him going, β€œAh! FUCK! NOT AGAIN!!! Sunova bitch!! Motherfuckin!! STOP BUILDING sHIT SO DAMN HIGH!!! Goddammit!”
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
You know, with all the Bright twinkly lights in Hong Kong, I can’t help but think of the sequel to the original Gojira movie ( that I can’t remember the title of ,rn) where he was fucking triggered by fucking lights. And I wonder if this little scene where he’s stomping all through Hong Kong is a tribute to that or whatever. But I’m probably overthinking it.οΏΌ
[Sober Edit: it was Godzilla Raids Again]
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
*GASP* HOLY SIHIIIT!!! The axe is made out of Godzilla skute!?!?! GOLY BALLS THAT’S NOT ONLY COOL BUT CONTRIBUTES MORE TO THE FACT THAT THESE KAIJU (likely Kong’s species, in particular) WERE REALLY FUCKING INTELLIGENT AMD TJOUGHT, β€œImma beat this muthafucka with their own spiky thing! Bc that’s what screws us over, so, why WOULD’nt it hurt them!?!” I need SO MUCH MORE of this Kaiju/Kong culture studied and shit! HOLY FUCK!!!
It even fucking glows!! Like ... they managed to fucking piece together that its glow was a fucking warning sign like Sting or some shit!!!! Holy fuck!!!!
Also, how does that work? How are the skutes still connected even after dismemberment???
οΏΌ β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
NO FUCKIN WAY WRE YOUβ€”AAAAAAAAHHH!!! Excalibur that shit my boi!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
I FUCKIN LOVE YHIS MOVIE HOLY SHIT!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œ that’s Apex property now,”
Excuse me bitch! Are we really not gonna listen to the scientist who saying β€œhey we don’t understand the shit out of this fucking power! Maybe we should hold off on taking some fucking samples!”
Are we really just gonna ignore that shit???????
οΏΌοΏΌοΏΌ β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Kong said: TRY ME BITCH!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Oh thank the GODS this Serizawa dude is taking precautions like his old man! Also, what is his relation to Ken Watanabe’s Serizawa!?!?!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
UH OH!! SOLDIER DUDES GETTIN ATE!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
OH SHIT!!! PILOT JUST GOT ATE!!! FUCKIN DRAGON BASEMENT UP IN THIS SHIT!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
BITCH YOU REALLY GON THROW A ROCK AT IT!!! FUCKIN NONSENSE OF THIS BITCH!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
LOVE AND FITE ME ENERGY IS STORED IN THE ATOMIC BREATH
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œShoot him!”
WHY!!!???!! He literally had NO problem with you before then!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Why does white man who don’t know anything about this vehicle suddenly know how to pilot this shit!???!?!!!!!
οΏΌ β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Y’all love had SO MUCH wine!οΏΌ
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
The FUCK this dude got a flip flop phone for!!!?!????!!!?
Da fuq!?!?! 🀣🀣🀣🀣 yeah that’s the most unrealistic part of this entire fucking movie! Not the fuckin Kaiju robots. Not the fucking hollow earth bullshit! The fucking flip phone! LMFAO!!!!οΏΌ
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œMaintenance! I’M MAINTENANCE!!! This bitch ain’t buying it”
That made me laugh WAY FUCKIN harder that it should have!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Y’all really ganna try to shoot at a kid!?! REALLY!?!?!??!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
GAWD, I’m so glad I impulse bought these oatmeal bites from Dominos! πŸ€€πŸ˜‹
[Sober Edit: I have no idea how my autocorrect managed to convert β€œParmesan” to β€œoatmeal,” but okay! πŸ˜†πŸ˜…]
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Kong be like, β€œHey, bitch!!! You lookin’ for me!?!?”
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Find you a partner that bites your neck like Godzilla does! Lmao!
Sorry, I’ll be crawling back into my hell hole, now.
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
EAT YOUR FOOKIN VEGETABLES GODZILLA!!!!!
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β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Did Godzilla just axe throw with his fuckin teefs!!!????!?!?!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
THIS IS THE FOOKIN MONSTER VS MONSTER FIGHTS IVE BEEN CRAVING SINCE KING OF THE MONSTERS HOLY SHIT!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œReally? Groupies, again?”
First of all, again!?! What happened last time???
Secondly, where tf are YOUR grpupies, asshole! No need to judge! Ya cunt!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œThere can only be one alpha,”
Really! You really gotta bring your toxic masculinity into a fuckin monster fight, my dude!?!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Kong said, β€œYeet! YEET SELF!!!”
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
I am living for the feral fight scenes!!!!οΏΌ
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Kong’s expression , tho! 🀣🀣🀣
Like, β€œCan you ducking NOT, Godzilla?!? Can you, like, fucking chill??!!? Aight, fine! ASDASHKLSDJKLDZJL ADKLKDZDJ!!!!!!”
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Awwwww! Godzilla let Kong go, bc he knows what it’s like to be the last of his species! πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œThis is how we [...] win!”
Oh, honey, you β€˜bout to die! Lmao! πŸ˜‚
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Oh god! I knew he was going to use the sign for β€œcoward” at the most inappropriate time! Lmao! At least the Precious Girls is smart enough to know what Dumbass White Man means, lol
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Oh, thank god we do t see this dumbass in any sequels!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Dammit, he escaped!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
This girl is too good!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Did y’all really think you were ganna break into a semi-sentient Mecha-Godzilla by GUESSING ITS FUCKING PASSWORD!!?!?!?!!!!???? 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
οΏΌοΏΌYEAH!!!! TEAM-UP COMING THROUGH!!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œI was hoping to die with adults, but that’s okay,”
🀣🀣🀣
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œI’VE GOT TO DIE WITB YOU AND SOBER!!?!?!”
GOD, I love this movie!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
OOOOOOHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱 He powering up the axe!!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
YOOOOOO KONG WENT PREDATOR/YOUTJA ON MECHA-GODZILLA’s ASS!!!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Kong said, β€œI’m done, y’all! Imma take a nap!”
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
β€œDad. Uh...Bernie.”
I fucking love Bernie!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
JIA NOOOO!!! Don’t go running between two disgruntled Kaiju bby!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Yo, why do monsters have less toxic masculinity than we do??? Lol!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
Yaaaaaay! Kong has a new home!!
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
WELP!!! I fucking loved this movie, and I highly recommend it to everyone!!!
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mishasminion360 Β· 3 years
Text
Space Age Love Song, Ch. 1
A Mandalorian x O/C Fic
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Warning: Language
Notes: I’ve had this idea for awhile now and decided β€œwhy the hell not?” It’s been quite some time since I’ve written a full fledged fic, but I’m going to try to remain committed and complete this one. I already have a good idea of where I want it to go, so that’s a plus. Readers, you’re in for plenty of Mando romance, fluff, angst, action, and suspense. I hope you enjoy!
He crashed into her life like a falling star. The brightest star in the cosmos.
Ch. 1: Crash Into Me
The world was always a lonelier place at night. Rural Kansas appeared much more desolate in the dark; the roads and the land seemed to stretch on forever, both leading to nothing. The whistling of the evening breeze was the only voice to be heard for miles.
A half-drunk glass of whiskey in hand, Sara craned her head skyward to gaze at the stars. At most times, it seemed, they were her only friends. At least there were plenty of them to go around.
Her shift at the Hillsboro Community Hospital had been a grueling one this evening. She had just managed to drag her weary bones home a little more than an hour ago and already the night was creeping into day. Though exhausted, she’d suddenly found herself wired the second she’d pulled into her driveway at nearly 3 a.m. Now coming up on 4 in the morning, she downed the rest of her whiskey in hopes of calming herself long enough to drop into dreamland.
She had no reason to be awake so late, or early, rather. Sara had no one to pass the wakefulness with. The last of the only family she’d ever known had vanished from her life nearly a decade ago, leaving her with nothing but an old country house in the middle of nowhere that was far too big for a solitary woman such as herself. That house and memories.
There shouldn’t be any joy in the thought of coming home to an empty house. No happiness at the thought of eating alone, sleeping alone, living alone. But, as it began to happen more frequently, Sara came to realize that this rush of adrenaline she felt upon returning to her solitary homestead night after night was from the hope that she wouldn’t be lonely for long. One night she’d come home and there’d be someone worth coming home to. Someone waiting for her.
For now, though, Sara pulled herself to her feet, blinked the stars from her eyes, and prepared to head inside where she’d climb the stairs to her room and finally sleep the sleep of the dead.
She had just yanked open the finicky screen door when she heard a peculiar thoom! Her tired eyes returned to the sky to see that it was ablaze with light. A star, like a white hot ember, arced through the night, tumbling, tumbling down. So bright. So fast. So BIG.
That is not a star, she thought.
Sara watched the object’s decent with her heart in her throat. What if it was a meteor? Or a guided missile gone astray? Should she take cover? Would there be enough time? Would it even matter? The time she could’ve spent moving was lost to an endless string of β€œwhat if’s” playing on a loop inside her head, and by the time her brain managed to squeeze a logical thought about running into the mix, the object was crashing to earth in the field behind her barn.
She felt the impact from her porch; wobbled unsteadily on her feet as a tremor passed through the ground below. She could see the glow of flames in the distance. With the threat of a wildfire from space igniting the field beyond, with her house and all its memories in danger, she sprang into action.
Sara darted inside and made a beeline for the kitchen, retrieving the fire extinguisher from under the sink. Then, opting to take the back door, she darted back out into the chilly pre-dawn and ran as fast as her legs would carry her toward what she could only assume was Fox Mulder’s wet dream.
***
So, it definitely wasn’t a star. It wasn’t a meteor or a missile either. Nothing in her wildest dreams could have prepared her for what she was seeing. It was in pieces and it was on fire, but even partially destroyed Sara could positively identify (having watched enough cheesy sci-fi movies with her gramps to do so) an alien ship when she saw one.
β€œWhat kind of Superman origin story bullshit is this?” she wondered out loud.
The flames licking at the wreckage weren’t too big, and the small extinguisher did the trick for the most part. The dented silver exterior was still smoldering in some places by the time the canister was empty. Tossing the empty red cylinder aside, she stood and stared at the UFO in a mix of wonder and fear as another round of incessant questions bombarded her brain. Should she call someone about this? Who the hell was she supposed to call anyway: the cops, a scientist, the news, or all of the above?
With a startling groan of metal and a hiss of pressurized air, a large door at the rear of the ship (or was it the front? She had no fucking clue) descended, assuming a new role as a ramp, or so it appeared. It was almost as if the ship were inviting her inside.
Sara took a moment to peer into the vessel’s dark innards, then shook her head. She’d seen enough Ridley Scott movies to know that going inside was a terrible idea. Blindly investigating a mysterious extraterrestrial ship is how people ended up dead or, at the very least, pregnant with an alien baby. She wanted no part in either one of those scenarios if she could help it.
The rationalist inside of Sara urged her not to take another step farther; practically shouted at her to turn around and run the other way. But the nurse in her wouldn’t, couldn’t allow her to abandon someone who might be aboard and may be hurt, human or...otherwise. Damn. Sometimes she felt like she’d chosen the wrong profession.
Taking a cautious step up onto the ramp, jumping a bit at the echoing of her own footsteps, Sara called out to the darkness.
β€œHello? Is anyone in there?”
When she got only silence for a response, she decided to forge on ahead into the belly of the great metal beast.
β€œOkay, I’m coming in so please just...don’t eat me and keep your tentacles to yourself.”
The cavernous ship was as black as night. In the distance she could see lights blinking, like stars in the night guiding her way. Sara felt along the walls blindly and inched forward with small, cautious steps.
β€œIf anyone is in here be warned. I do not like surprises and, so help me, if you jump out at me here in the dark I will punch first and ask questions later.”
As she drew closer to the flashing lights, she began to hear noise. What sounded like about five different alarms were blaring, but still nothing resembling a voice.
Suddenly, the floor seemed to rise by a foot and she stumbled at the sudden change in elevation. Her arms flailed dramatically as she desperately reached for something, anything to grab onto. Sara hit the ground hard and loud, her cry of surprise cut short as her head thumped against the cold floor.
Disoriented from the blow, she looked up and took in her surroundings with blurred vision. The alarms screamed at her from every direction, which was doing absolutely nothing to help her gradually building headache, and the lights blinked furiously in sync with the shrieking sirens. She could make out other objects now, what looked like buttons and knobs and levers and screens all illuminated by the incessant flashing of the warning lights. Damn her shit luck. Alone on this alien ship and she’d managed to stumble (literally) into the freaking cockpit. But where was the pilot?
Okay, maybe whatever had been flying this saucer never heard her, had no idea she was here. Maybe it was an unmanned craft. There was still a chance she’d make it out of this incredibly foolhardy endeavor alive. Stiffly and carefully Sara rolled onto her back, glanced up, and immediately screamed.
A face, or at least what she assumed was a face, more like a mask of some sort, peered down at her from above. Stifling another cry, she scrambled up to a sitting position and shinnied away until she felt her back hit wall. Even with that outburst, the creature didn’t appear to stir. After a few minutes of heavy breathing and vigilant observation, it didn’t appear that the alien was conscious.
Before she even realized she was doing it, Sara was on her hands and knees, creeping closer to where the sleeping being was collapsed heavily in what she figured to be the captain’s chair. Upon closer inspection, it looked more like a man than a monster. A man (or a woman) encased from head to toe in a suit of shimmering silver armor. Hell, it could have been a robot.
Through the small t-shaped visor in the dome-like helmet Sara could see no traces of a face. She had no definitive way of knowing if the spaceman was truly slumbering or just waiting for her to get close enough to grab, and for a moment she hesitated to move any closer. But when she saw the small trickle of blood leaking from beneath the helmet and onto the right pauldron, her fear instantly vanished. Definitely not a robot; a living, bleeding person. RN powers activate!
β€œHey! Hey, can you hear me?” Sara gave the shiny helmet a light tap, trying to conjure a response. β€œCome on spaceman, spacewoman, are you with me? Wake up!”
His or her head rolled limply to the side as the blood continued to run. Unconsciousness following a vehicular (or spacecraftular) crash was never a good sign, but Sara couldn’t know for certain until she saw the source of the blood how bad the damage was. Gripping the helmet between her sweating palms she began to slide it upward carefully. Before she could even get it past the wearer’s chin, a hand reached up and wrapped around her wrist, stopping her instantly. She flinched, in surprise rather than pain; their grip was unexpectedly gentle.
β€œDon’t-don’t take it off,” a very male voice stammered weakly. β€œYou can’t...”
Sara was momentarily stunned. The alien spoke perfect English, and in a voice as soft as their grasp. She shook her head to reorganize her thoughts. This situation called for the utmost professionalism. When you’re a nurse, first impressions are everything. And she wasn’t representing just herself at this moment, but potentially the entire human race.
β€œSir, I...it’s going to be alright, sir. I’m a nurse. I can help you, but I’ll need to assess the injury. I need to remove your helmet in order to-β€œ
β€œPlease...”
Sara had entered this ship expecting to find a monster ready to frighten her. What she’d never anticipated was that the monster could be just as frightened as she was. And that’s what she heard in the spaceman’s voice: fear. He was scared. Of her. And that’s when any remaining trace of her own fear vanished. She reached down and found one of his gloved hands and squeezed it gently in her own.
β€œIt’s okay. You’re going to be alright. I’m going to help you. You’re safe.” With her other hand she caressed one side of his helmet and tried to imagine that she were stroking his own cheek. β€œYou’re safe.”
He seemed to relax a bit under her touch, but that may have been from the second wave of sleep overtaking him. Sara released his hand, took a step back, took a deep breath, and began mentally preparing herself for the task ahead.
Dragging a snoozing spaceman all the way to the house was not going to be an easy task, but it was one that had to be done. As a nurse, she’d be damned if she’d let a patient, even an extraterrestrial one, die on her watch.
Sara slid her arms around the limp man’s chest and began the first chore: hoisting him out of the chair.
β€œWelcome to Earth.”
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hello-yue-here Β· 3 years
Note
About your atla ship songs, I have a couple of questions (sorry if my phrasing comes out wrong, english isn't my first language and I worry it might across as accidentally defensive): how did you end up with the choices for zukka, jetko and yuekka (note: I haven't seen the great comet, so feel free to obsess over it, I'm intrigued now and the hype is appreciated!)? Sidenote: I think the mailee choice is HILARIOUS and the tokka one just make me sad, I didn't expect to be attacked like this😭
kdjfha;s i love you im gonna obsess SO HARD over great comet now. you may regret this
this is gonna be so long so the rest is under the cut whoops
yuekka: no one else from great comet
where do i even begin. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN
okay so background information on this show: it's based off of a 76 oages excerpt from war and peace and its centered around a woman named natasha (and this guy pierre but he's irrelevant to this song so we wont worry about him) and natasha's bethrothed is off fighting in the war right now. she hasn't seen him in a while but she is in love with him.
every single lyrics of this song SCREAMS yuekka to me. the innocence and purity of their love. the love at first sight. and even the melancholy ending just- i go apeshit for this song. i love this song so much. and denee benton's voice??? kljsdhflwksugf please listen to this song if you haven't already. listen to the whole show. your life will be changed forever.
onto the lyrics (i stg this is ab to be the whole song whoops)
"the moon"
THOSE ARE THE FIRST WORDS ON THE SONG. natasha and andre (her bethrothed) met underneath the moonlight. Sokka and Yue first spoke to eachother at night and always met each other for their most intimate moments under the moonlight. also yue is LITERALLY the moon so like: right of the bat with those two words it's yuekka.
"and i saw your eyes / and i saw your smile / and the world opened wide"
sokka fell in love with yue the moment he saw her in the canal. she literally enchanted this motherfucker. everything about her made his heart go crazy. and 'the world opened wide' to me is from yue's perspective. Yue had never left the north pole and sokka had seen a good chuck of the world at the point. He took her on appa, he told her about his adventures. he saw the world yue wished to see and you know damn well that Sokka would have done anything to give it to her.
"oh the moon /oh the snow in the moonlight / and your childlike eyes and your distant smile / ill never be this happy again / you and i and no one else"
natasha sings fondly about the moon and the snow, seeing as it was where she fell in love with andre. yue and sokka LITERALLY fell in love in the same place: in the snowy nothern water tribe under the light of the moon. childlike eyes: THEYRE CHILDREN!!! distant smile: this is where it gets a little sad. theyre both children with way too many duties during a world that has known nothing but war for the past century. they want to be happy but yeah, theyre smiles are distant and far away because happiness seems out of reach for them most of the time. i'll never be this happy again: the moments yue and sokka shared together were probably the happiest either of them ever were. they were able to ignore the war and the world in the moments they shared together. and with no one else. no one else would be able to give each other this sense of peace and happiness and love.
"joy and life inside our souls / and no body knows just you and me / it's our secret"
Yue and Sokka had to sneak out in secret at night to go and see each other. Yue and Sokka couldn't be together for real because Yue was already engaged, but they were literally in love so she decided to see him anyways in secret. kasdjfhklasjd im losing my mind over them at this point.
"this winer sky / how can anyone sleep / there was never such a night before / i feel like putting my arms around my knees / and squeezing tight as possible / and flying away"
these are my FAVORITE lines in the entire song. yue and sokka had never felt this strongly about anyone before and that's why they are so drawn to each other. they had never experienced love before and they wanted to hold onto it for as long as they could even though they knew they couldnt. Sokka takes yue up on appa and she is wistful and wishes she could live like he does every day: ie flying away. oh my god these two deserved so much better. so much fucking better.
now for the saddes part. the saddest fucking part.
"maybe he'll come today / maybe he came already / and he's sitting in the drawing room / and i simply forgot"
natasha misses andre so intensely at this point. when i first listened to this show and heard this song i was like "wait a min... is andre like... dead?" and im sure i wasnt the only person who assumed that this was why natasha felt so sad by the end of such a beautiful song. (spoiler alert andre is fine)
but this line really exemplifies how sad natasha is, and hints at the fact that andre may never come back. it implies that their relationship is doomed (at least in my opinion) and that's all yuekka. Sokka misses yue intensely when shes gone. Yue accepted her fate almost immediately but sokka was in denial. he thought there had to be another way. but in the end it wasn't meant to be. and sokka will go on, loving yue, wishing for her back, even though it's not possible.
fuck im gonna cry.
zukka: all i've ever known- hadestown
"i was alone so long / i didn't even know that i was lonely / out in the cold so long / i didnt even know that i was cold"
sokka is from the swt so theres where the cold comes in. also in the gaang (initially) it was just him katara and aang. and katara and aang were much closer to each other than sokka was with aang and the two of them were benders so sokka was kind of an outsider with the two of them. He also represses a lot of his emotions and feels the need to do everything himself so i do see a lot of loneliness in sokka. and the fact that so many people in his life have left him (his mom, yue, his dad, suki briefly, etc...) he is known to keep people at an arms length. i see a lot of loneliness in sokka.
zuko's loneliness is a lot more obvious: he has literally been cast out and abandoned by everyone except iroh. and even then he still feels the need to be alone (remember zuko alone? thought so) these boys look after themselves and push others away and revel in their loneliness in order to keep themselves from getting hurt. at least in my opinion on canon and also some fanon because id be a liar if i said fanon didnt influence how i view ALL my ships (not just zukka)
"all ive ever known is how to hold my own / but now I wanna hold you too"
COME ONE MANNNN, they just wanna hold each other. theyre both very big protectors as well and kljhflkasdhg they wanna protect eachother like kljdhfl im gonna lose it rn.
"You take me in your arms / And suddenly there's sunlight all around me / Everything bright and warm / And shining like it never did before / And for a moment I forget / Just how dark and cold it gets"
SUNLIGHT SYMBOLISM. zuko is literally powered by the sun. i don't think i even NEED to elaborate on this one anymore lol. They find comfort in each other away from all of their trauma. when they're together nothing else matters and i personally love that for them. they both deserve love.
"I knew you before we met / And I don't even know you yet / All I know is your someone I have always known"
these two are extremely similar in canon. many parallels. older brothers overshadowed by their prodigy little sisters. longing to make their fathers proud (granted one dad is good and one is fuckin evil), both are pretty bad with emotions. both are seen protecting others before themselves (sokka protecting suki during the serpant's pass, sokka protecting toph on like multiple occassions, zuko protecting katara in the final agni kai), the list goes on. they know who the other is because they see themselves in the other person. they already know each other because they are each other (in a way, not entirely, but the similarities are strong in my opinion)
"I'm gonna hold you forever / The wind will never change on us / Long as we stay with each other / Then it will always be like this"
i just think this line is so cute and sweet (ignoring all the symbolism and foreshadowing that comes with the last line in the musical itself. im gonna pretend this is nothing but happy) and i think these boys deserve happiness so yeah. this song is zukka to me lol.
jetko: thrill of first love- falsettoes
if you've never listened to this song go an do it now. you will know INSTANTLY that it is jetko because of the dynamics alone. marvin and whizzer are pure jetko and i take no crticisms.
marvin and whizzer are both extremely stubborn, and they don't always get along, and they fight a lot, and they get mad at each other a lot, and they are both passionate as hell, and they will bring this passion into everything. they love each other that is without a doubt, but they arent perfect and they are once again stubborn and determined as fuck.
sound familiar? it's literally jetko.
the lyrics aren't what remind me of jetko, but the dynamic itself. the lyrics are too on the nose for a gay couple in 1970's america so that rlly cant apply to jetko all that much. but the way these two characters bounce off of each other and get annoyed with each other and argue with eachother reminds me of jetko. because let's be honest: these two are the most stubborn characters in the whole show. they will fight for what they believe and it will take literally everything to change their minds.
i love jetko but i think they would have petty arguments all the time and get aggravated by one another so easily. and this is even seen in canon: they work so fucking well together but they did not even HESITATE to fight one another after neither of them would give in and let the fight about whether jet was right or wrong about zuko being a firebender. like i cannot say it enough they are stubborn as fuck.
but underneath all that stubborn pettiness and bickering: marvin and whizzer still love each other. and jet and zuko would still love each other. because even though they are stubborn when it comes to arguments, they are even more stubborn and determined when it comes to each other. these two passionate motherfuckers are in love.
(now when i chose this song i decided to ignore the fact that this song literally spells out the fact that marvin and whizzer's relatinoship is doomed because they literally say passion dies. thats the difference between jetko and whizzer and marvin because i dont think passion dies. i chose this song strictly for the bickering lmao)
and i know you didnt ask about tokka but,,,,
i rlly wanna talk about the tokka one
so im going to
tokka: on my own- les mis
look. i KNOW this song is about unrequited love and i love tokka as a couple but,,, the unrequited love in this song just SCREAMS unrequited tokka to me so thats what i went with.
eponine is a girl who has neglectful parents who lives life by her own rules: toph. eponine is shown to be tough and confident and spunky to others but behind all of that she has emotions, she feels love, she hides her vulnerability so much: toph. she is in love with a guy she cant be with because he loves someone else: TOPH
eponine is toph to a t and toph is eponine to a t. this is not up for debate lmao
"without him i feel his arms around me"
toph is always seen grabbing onto someone (and its almost ALWAYS sokka) when she's somewhere where she can't use her feet to see. FEEL and ARMS cmon. look at it.
"and i know / i know that he is blind"
COME ON. IMAGINE TOPH SINGING THIS LINE. this line is already powerful enough in les mis but having toph, a blind character, sing it just makes the symbolism even deeper. toph sees the potential relationship they could have together. toph sees that sokka is oblivious to this. toph is not blind to the truth or the potention, but sokka is blind to her feelings. im about to lose my mind over this line.
"I love him / But every day I'm learning / All my life / I've only been pretending / Without me / His world will go on turning / A world that's full of happiness / That I have never known"
i need to sit down for a moment. toph grew up in a household where her parents did not understand her. she has learned to hide her true emotions and vulnerabilities from everyone. and its the fact that toph knows that she and sokka will never be together and the fact that she still loves him in spite of that is what makes this even more heartbreaking.
"but only on my own"
TOPH AND EPONINE SWEETIES I LOVE YOU
thank you for indulging my theatre kid nonsense. you are very sweet and kind and lovely and awesome and i hope you have a lovely day bestie :) <3
ask me why i think these songs go with these ships
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