#literally my only gripe but it *bothers* me

[humannish]

am i trippingggg like why are people seeing luther and the catmen as anything but a guy and his pets. am i tripping like seriously.

​it feels like literally only i see luther and his pets as just that and it kind of is bothers me. it always has to be some extra added factor like sexual activity or romance or some other shit. like i get it nyon is freaky but thats like if u saw ur cat humping a toy or something and decide to "help them out"....why cant it just be silly cat being silly..... 😔 and the weird bdsm toys luther has. i feel like he's just using that as some kind of discipline for his cats and theyre probably lowkey into that, Luther not knowing its actually used for sex. again like have ur interpretation, thats just something ive noticed with the fandom and its offputting for me to say the least, which is why i try to keep to myself in this fandom and distance myself and do my own thing cause i know im not exactly gonna see eye to eye with alot of the ppl i come across and i just see things differently to most people. so yeah. theres my gripe about other people's headcanons.

[whiskeyswifty]

.

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

random notes on naddpod c1 ep 46-69

another confused jumble of personal highlighs, shared here in lieu of chewing my very indifferent friends’ ears off irl. For whom it may concern.

spoiler warning! you will get no context but still

Okay they’re in the feywild and somehow the players manage to get even hornier. I guess I’m impressed?

That libertarian fairy tho. Why are little pixie jerks with trash politics always so funny

(Emily catches on to their opponent being a woman because Murph made a point of referring to the knight with they/them pronouns) “Interesting. My subtle sexism gave me away. I’m a bad guy.”

This lady spent a year with her frozen children in a chest in her living room?! Okay. Sure. Uh huh. Cool story bro 😬

Five Guys Burgers and... Flies

Ngl a little shocked at how decent Murph’s elf voice is

“I know a game! It’s called ‘don’t stab me!’ I give the gnome a knife.” “He magically produces some bread, spreads some butter on it, and casts produce flame. Look! Magical toast!” “NOBODY EAT THAT!!”

“You two haven’t seen each other in a while, and the kids are indisposed, so -“ “Okay. Jesus Christ. I was down for kind of a spicy joke there, but let’s not… the kids aren’t indisposed because they went bowling with their aunt, the kids are frozen with a curse.”

Murph, as a gnome, but barely keeping it together: “In actual recorded episodes, have you guys met any gnomes that are murderers? Really, did they murder someone? Like… what did they do and then what did you do to them…?”

"There's a war coming, and everyone needs to fight. Even old men who don't know how." First of all, this is a banger of a line

but also my degree has officially ruined me for stories because I was immediately and ominously reminded of the last months of WWII on the Axis side what with all the apocalypse rhetoric and poorly armed children and old men sent out to probably die in war. like this is 100 percent unintentional and I realise that but my reaction to this line was "holy shit" and then immediately "... has Alanis also gone fascist"

Murph usually: Oh you want something? You want something to help you out here? Okay how are you gonna pay for that? What are you gonna give up to get that? Murph with Emily: Oh you got attached to your purely decorative fictional earrings? … I would never take those away from you keep them :) have a magical gun on the house :)

“Cool it with the fucking drugs!” “Hardwon, you’re one to talk!!”

Love it when Murph sets up a high DC on something and they get it and all immediately vigorously come for his ass, there is truly nothing funnier than people pretending to take something so personally

Murph keeps saying “she shakes her head yes” which is either an established bit of world building or an odd Murphism they’ve all collectively decided to accept? Both are very endearing but also I was so confused the first five times he did it

Local catholic desperately trying to get his friends to have the biblically correct response to angels (fear)

“Twenty-three damage with an axe???!” in the squeakiest voice possible, and then in the same voice: “What lands first, his body or his head?” “His head!!!!”

Finally someone makes the “Janie’s got a gun” joke, I have no idea why but I’ve waited this entire fight for someone to do that! Thank you Caldwell!

“Can I do a dog whistle?” “You’re gonna say something racist and see if they follow it?”

“Brothers! The Goddess has blessed us! There is milk in this casket!”

Also somehow every joke gets 100 percent funnier once it has managed to break the DM

“I summon Pellor’s four Lieutenants, the Beach Boys.”

Pawpaw as the BOB's legal council is the gift that keeps on giving. I don't even remember how it started but every time Jake goes "a brilliant legal mind" in that reverent voice I lose my shit. Also I adore how at the beginning it was all 'oh it's funny because Hardwon thinks this possum is actually good at law stuff and meanwhile Pawpaw can't fucking read' and now Pawpaw is just. legitimately functioning as their lawyer.

“Balnor, what’s your favourite food?” *audible fuckfuckfuckfuck silence from Murph* “…Chicken.”

So anticlimactic. Holy shit. Murph literally rigging the game so none of the others would give it away only to have that immediately blow up in his face

“Oh, the Goblinity!”

Hardwon getting really into "Chasing Cars"

Murph's cultural knowledge is such a fucking enigma to me every time I'm like "oh that guy wouldn't know anything ab-" and then he just. knows the first song on Snow Patrol's "Eyes Open" off the top of his head. I spent a whole vacation listening exclusively to that CD as a teen and I had to look it up. He was right. He wasn’t even the one who started the Snow Patrol bit.

Anyway thank you everyone that song will be permanently stuck in my head for the next five to eight business days

“You deserve a little emo phase”

“Pawpaw is giving you a pedicure. Meanwhile the king is suffocating in the bag.” “Oh shit!”

“So one thing you know about me is that everything I love dies so, stay away, haha!”

“I have enough queens.”

There have been a bunch of uncomfortable descriptors in this campaign but “like an exotic sunkissed lover” is definitely the worst one so far. Murph. Sir. No.

-

Just Murph's weak "okay..." as Emily decides to sniff the two Hardwons' necks to suss out the doppelganger

The verve of Murph’s Moonshine impression compared to his barely-there attempt to do a Jake voice for Hardwon

That one incredibly dumb dude in Shadowfell. Oh my GOD. Like in so many stories there is a “dumb” character, you know, one who will be described with the one brain cell meme but this dude. This dude literally only has the one brain cell. Just enough to be standing, breathing and talking at the same time. Fucking incredible. Murph continues to be way too good at making characters so deeply pathetic

“Go drink too much cough syrup!” “I can’t!” “Why?” “‘cause it tastes bad, man!”

Brennan’s and Murph’s genuine excitement to reverse their usual dynamic veering off into “we’re 69-ing now but he’s been going at me for a long time and I haven’t given him anything.” in less than thirty seconds

Seriously tho you can hear both Brennan and Murph buzzing with delight at a frequency that could shatter glass

“Brennan, you can say ‘my’. You’re playing, dude, you can say ‘my’.” “My hand, me, I’m playing, I’m a person! I’m only one person!” “You’re playing!” “You’re doing it!”

“What about Melv? Remember Melv? He’s dead.”

Brennan has so much knowledge of like historical customs and everyday items and their names and uses but rarely uses it, and meanwhile Murph is trying his damndest to sprinkle stuff in for medieval flavour but has a shaky grasp on what these things actually ARE. Case in point, Brennan immediately knowing how to explain a wimple vs. Murph claiming the peasant was wearing “suspenders over a dirty tunic”. Suspenders?? My guy. What are they holding up? The hem of the tunic? Tunics go OVER the leg garment how would this work. Are you using this as a fancy word for shirt. Also suspenders weren’t a thing until the 19th century. Not saying you can’t mix and match cowboy and medieval peasant aesthetic but it’s gotta logistically work, Murph! It's gotta make sense!

“You hear a woman screaming-“ “No, Murph, we were going shopping 😩” “You never let us do anything fun!”

Brennan’s little love language of absorbing every last bit of his friends’ worlds’ lore like a sponge so he can weave his narrative and/or character into the world like a perfect medieval tapestry!!!!

Every time Emily goes out of her way to back up her every move with rules as written not for the DM but for some idiot in the audience, my heart breaks a bit. Back the fuck off indeed.

That said, Brennan being extra meticulous about HIS finite resources is hilarious and good

“I would say he didn’t have to worry about it but then he was doing sixty points of damage per attack so he does have to worry about it I decided”

#wherewasbalnor

"It's a... I don't want to use the word 'wimple' again"

"Deadeye and Hardwon, you guys just hear this cacophony of idiocy..."

"So my little sister in there and slim with the gift of Pellor, they good at staying on task?" "Um...."

A Kiwi dwarf, fantastic choice. No notes.

“We can crawl through the small false wall?” English is so broken

Pawpaw as Deadeye’s literal right hand! Delightful. Murph’s D20 TA energy come to life in the coolest way

“You bloodsucking bourgeoise pig, you keep your dirty fangs off my sister!”

“You’re the best part of me” Brennan 😭 Emily 😭 brb dissolving into a puddle on the floor for a second

He’s back in the Crick UGH 💔 ah fuck Brennan and Murph tag-teaming on the heartbreak never fails to get me

It's so fascinating how much they play to each other's strengths whenever they're really going for the jugular: on D20, Brennan will hit Murph with just the most quietly awful version of "here's your character's worst (perceived) failure you can never fully make right, and you're faced with an opportunity to try but we both know you won't take it" (cf. Kug's interactions with David or "you can go to the castle where the dogs are or you can go back to your frog pond"), and in return Murph took Deadeye back to the home that was forever lost to him and that he'd missed so much and let him become everything he ever wanted to be. Forgiven despite his shortcomings. They're beating each other at their own game, Murph's stories are so much about consequences and guilt and responsibility and Brennan's are so much about hope and grace and second chances, and that is so present in the stories they tell for each other?? I am upset this is beautiful

The Wimple Warriors

So Murph knew enough about Snow Patrol to not only sing the refrain of You’re All I Have but to know where it was on the album… but not enough to remember the title of Chasing Cars?? How are you the way that you are

JV!! God that *was* a beautiful scene though, such immediate quiet kindness, what a way to go <3

“I went to the Red Fenn and all I got was unceremoniously murdered.”

“He’s saying yes too much, we’re making some kind of mistake…”

Moonshine: "The rapport spores got hacked, everyone! Don't say anything you wouldn't tell the world right now!" Emily, not five minutes before this, on a very popular podcast: "Out of character, [unlike Moonshine] I got some very recently, but..."

The fact that this moment got no audible reaction and is as easily removable as an audio clip can get (no crosstalk, a brief pause before and after it, no impact on what was said afterwards) but it's still left in is so funny knowing who does the editing

Murph introducing a skeletal kitty for thinly veiled emotional manipulation purposes

*delivers upsetting news to Moonshine* "Would it make you feel better if you borrowed my cat?" "...Moonshine bursts into tears."

"Pawpaw looks hurt and betrayed for a second, like he's gonna turn away, but then he can't help it." "Should we go, too, or do you think she needs a familiar touch tonight? Something only Pawpaw can give..." I reiterate, funniest. self-insert. character. ever. Also as ever excellent punnage from Caldwell.

“You are a freak but you’re pretending not to be, which makes you the most boring kind of person.”

“Pawpaw is the only one who has complete plot armour. I will kick him from time to time, but I won’t kill him.” It's so unlike Murph to declare plot armour on anyone, and also so like him to have it be Pawpaw.

Hardwon and Moonshine's relationship, regardless of where it's going, is just lovely. Zero judgement, no expectations, just so much affection and support. They're so corny (affectionate)

[captainsweet]

This is just going to be me ranting about something that particularly annoys me, so don't take it too seriously, but it drives me up a metaphorical wall.

But, the thing is, I just finished reading some new parts of a Rise fic I really liked, it was funny, and a good story sure, until I saw the word 'twin' be thrown around about five times in one chapter.

I honestly thought I was exaggerating, so I continued, and the word 'twin' just kept on appearing. So I just decided to count how many times it comes up just to see if I was being crazy, y'know?

In the course of a couple of chapters, the word, 'twin' is thrown around 64 different times. Not accounting for any notes, tags, or the latest chapter they posted since it wasn't an official one.

To make this clearer, the word twin, referring to Rise Donnie and Leo specifically, was mentioned 64 different times. One chapter holding 13 mentions of them being twins alone.

Now, I don't know why in the world it needed to be mentioned 64 different times, but hey, it's none of my business. And I really wouldn't be bothered if being twins wasn't their one specific trait, especially around each other.

And it only gets worse in the new chapters. Everytime they mention each other it's like they are incapable of not calling the other their twin, and.. this thing annoys me to my goddamn core.

It doesn't matter, I know that, but it's so annoying to see people make Donnie and Leo being twins their one special thing even though they're not even twins in the dang show. Normally that wouldn't bother me, and it doesn't, but for you to reduce a character to a trait they canonically don't even have is just bizarre.

I'm not gonna mention the writer, and I hate criticizing writers or artists like this in general, but it's so unbelievably mind numbing to see Donnie and Leo get reduced to being twins over and over again as if it actually matters? All it is, is the day they were born. That's it! That's all, yet so many people are obsessed with making it an important factor?

They are so much more than just twins, and have so much more to them than a couple of traits in the show. Yet so many people just, ignore that? Especially in some fics?

Not to mention in the particular story, Raph and Mikey hardly ever appear unless it's for the same couple of jokes, and just leaves me longing for more development on them but nope! Gotta shove some more twin content in there!

I have absolutely no problem with people liking the Disaster Twins, and making stories centered around them, but they are so much more than just twins, and so much more than their relationship with each other. They have other family members too, acknowledge them.

This is not only with this particular author, this has happened multiple times and it's just plain annoying. If you like Leo and Donnie more, just say that. There's no reason you should add their brothers in, and then just discard them to the point they don't even seem like they are siblings anymore. They're just close friends at that point, and it's just angering for me.

I don't see it all that much anymore, but so many people still make Leo and Donnie being 'twins' in Rise this big thing when they aren't even twins, and probably wouldn't mention the fact they are if they weren't explaining their ages because it literally means nothing in the end. They're just brothers that happened to be born on the same day, that's it.

I'm not a twin myself, so I obviously can't speak for actual twins, but even the twins I've known personally hardly mentioned the fact they were twins other than to make a couple of jokes here and then. In no world should them being twins be so important to you that it's mentioned 64 different times. That's just insane.

It is different than simply having a sibling, I get that. Being twins is definitely different in a way, and comes with different experiences, but it should never be that important to the point they mention it 13 TIMES IN ONE CHAPTER.

Skipping past the slightly serious part, 64 different times?? Would they, like, forget if they didn't say it? Fr 13 times in one conversation? I don't think I've even done that with my proclaimed Twin before, because that's, that's just crazy.

[oepionie]

— "THE PRINCESS TREATMENT." various

SYNOPSIS: your boyfriend and the different ways he pampers and spoils you rotten ♡

⊹ [ cw ] — mentions of winter storms, prefect is implied to have bad living conditions, mild violence in the tweels parts, jade breaks someone's wrist, crowley slander, ace slander◞

⊹ [ tags ] — FLUFFY! feminine reader! no gendered pronouns used, riddle uses his dorm position to spoil you, seeing trey driving is very hot, deuce biceps, leona and azul sugar daddy era, ruggie would rather freeze to death than have you be cold, jack carries you, jade and floyd will fight for you, rook makes you his muse and paints you, malleus renovates the entire diasomnia dorm for you, sebek carries your pink handbags◞

⊹ [ characters ] — riddle, trey, deuce, leona, ruggie, jack, azul, jade, floyd, rook, malleus, sebek◞

⊹ [ w.c ] — 4.9k+◞ | 🦇masterlist◞

—♰ RIDDLE

Princess treatment, Like—literally

Loathe is Riddle to admit—He can't deny the fact that being his lover meant you got special treatment. Prime example being your position at unbirthday parties. At the banquet table, just beside Riddle's designated throne, was your throne. Similar in style, it had a heart-shaped crest and golden frame; the only difference was that it was milky white rather than deep red. And despite his best efforts to downplay the favoritism shown to you, Riddle knows for a fact that he had the throne commissioned himself.

꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚.

"Come with me." The dorm leader says as he moves towards you, leading you towards your throne. He didn't fail to notice how your legs shook slightly as you walked alongside him or how your hands didn’t leave his coat once. Not that he minded.

The redhead clasped your hands in his as he sat you down onto the leather seat before adjusting the train of your dress to ensure that it wouldn't bother you.

"How are you fairing?" Riddle asked softly, kneeling before you to slip a leather-clad hand behind your knees. He set your feet up on a plush stool and slipped your pointed heels off, gently caressing your ankles. "I overheard you earlier, griping about your feet aching. I certainly hope you're not pushing yourself too hard."

"Ah, no. I just chose the wrong heels today. They're too pointy." You sighed, poking at your crimson red heels, which were discarded to the grassy sides. Groaning, you reclined back on your throne, the billowing, fluffy skirt of the dress Riddle had recently gifted tumbling all about you.

"I see." Riddle nodded in understanding, taking your hand and pressing a quick gentlemanly kiss on your wrists. "The croquet game is up next. I suppose you'd rather stay here?"

"Yeah, I think I need some alone time," you sigh. Riddle squeezes once more your hand in reply, letting his eyes shut in contemplation.

"Very well," He hums, moving to gently tuck a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. "Do rest here a while, rose."

There was a soft smile as the leather of his hands glide across your back. "Oh, and, please let a member of my dorm know if you ever need anything. Worry not. I've instructed everyone here to be at your beck and call."

───────────────────── · ·

— ♰ TREY

Passenger princess treatment<3

Every weekend, it was routine for Trey to whisk you away from your beaten-up dorm. After all, he was sure it was nice to spend the day in a place where you weren't inhaling dust and spiders every second. Both of you would always go over to his parent's café in the city for a simple little brunch date. And without fail, Trey would always pick you up at 9am sharp by the school gates.

꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚.

"… I was made for lovin' you, baby

You were made for lovin' me

And I can't get enough of you, baby

Can you get enough of me?"

Soft music played from the car's radio as the third-year weaved through the barren intersections, careful and slow. It seems as if the roads were merciful to you both today, calm and free of any traffic.

Trey languidly reaches one of his hands, calloused from his years of baking, over to rest gently on your thigh. His thumb rubs soft circles and nonsensical patterns over your plump skin while the other gripped the steering wheel in a loose hold, biceps flexing as he twisted the wheel to turn the car.

Focused as he was, you didn't miss how his gaze flits back and forth between the road and you, the expression swimming within them almost akin to a distant longing.

You place your hand atop his and lean against the passenger door. A wide grin spreads over your glossy red lips as you shake your head playfully. "Keep your eyes on the road."

Mirthful laughter spills from your mouth before your eyes flutter shut as you sway along to the song, mindlessly kicking your legs around. "Crashing and going to the hospital doesn't really sound like a good date idea."

A pensive smile creeps up on Trey's face, and he lets out a low chuckle. "Yeah? I just can't help it. You're a much more interesting sight."

He watched as the sun's dazzling light bathed your image in a beautiful, pleasant glow. To him, you looked ethereal, seemingly glowing and shining under the golden streaks of sunlight that pour through the windshield.

"What did I just say?" you sighed, smiling cheekily as you smoothed a hand over his clover-colored hair, fixing the stray strands moved askew by the wind from the open windows. "Hello~? Wonderland to Trey? Eyes on the road?"

He paused for a while before chuckling, his hands splaying out on the steering wheel as he turned his gaze back front. "Right, right. I'll be careful, princess."

───────────────────── · ·

— ♰  DEUCE

Carries your things for you and will not let you do any heavy lifting at all plus he buys you drinks!

Screw Crowley Dire. You were sick of Ramshackle's awful, scratchy furniture. For once, you wished you could sit on something that wasn't littered with dust bunnies or looked like it came straight from the depths of the underworld—no offense to Idia. And so, using the money you had painstakingly saved over the last six months, you decided to buy a cute, frilly sofa.

Problem was—you couldn't lift it at all. It was too wide and heavy for your poor untrained arms. Fortunately for you, your boyfriend was more than happy to help ^^

꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚.

"Um…Deuce? Are you sure you don't want me to work?" Perched atop the kitchen counters, you were worriedly staring down at him.

While he was preoccupied with lifting the couch, you were lazily sipping on a bubble tea—a drink which he bought for you himself. Humming, you let your gaze move from the soft line of his cheekbone, to the sharper cut of his jaw, before resting it onto the thick of his arms. " I don't mind helping, you know."

Deuce was standing by the door, arms tucked beneath the couch as he braced himself for lifting. "Yeah, I got this. Don't worry."

Now, why was he here, exactly? Well…First off, you didn't intend to call him at all.

In the middle of trying to haul your couch into Ramshackle's entrance, Deuce had appeared out of nowhere, offering his help. Despite your vehement denial, the stubborn boy wouldn't take no for an answer, and eventually forced you to sit down, shoving the bright, bubbly drink in your hand without saying a word.

So, here you were. Shamelessly ogling at him while he tried to find a way to bring the couch in.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to get hurt—Oh!" You gasped, hand flying up to cover your agape mouth when Deuce easily lifted it up as if it were made of air. In response to your expression of astonishment, he grinned and playfully flexed his arms. "See?"

While Deuce set the couch down in front of the TV, you slipped off the counters and strode over to him. Jumping into his embrace, you draped your arms around his shoulder and pressed a big kiss on his cheeks, watching in delight as his face exploded in pink. "You're so strong! Thank you so much!"

Deuce let a wobbly smile stretch across his burning cheeks, his hands slack atop your hips. "Y-Yeah! No problem."

───────────────────── · ·

— ♰ LEONA

Sugar dad-I mean-financial help<3 + Hints at passenger princess treatment

Leona Kingscholar was not a romantic. Naturally, he has stayed to himself ever since he was little. This lion was not the kind to be sentimental, gooey, or emotional. So it is astonishing how quickly this stone-cold personality of his breaks down when he's around you.

Every little thing you do drives him into a lovesick frenzy, and he has no idea how to stop it. He wasn't particularly into grand displays of affection or romantic gestures. Ergo, in an effort to express his adoration, he turns to more…costly methods.

꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚.

"Tell me what you want." Leona demands, tone serious as he wraps a rough yet protective arm around your hips. Both of you were standing smack dab in the middle of a large shopping mall. Though the more you stood here, the more you began to realize that this place wasn't really your…ordinary mall.

First and foremost, when Leona pulled up, there was private parking, and that was already intimidating to you in and of itself. Second, it seems like every single store in here was a luxury brand. You've seen a couple of these logos plastered onto the tags of Vil's or Jade and Floyd's clothes.

As a matter of fact, you were pretty sure their plastic bags cost more than your entire yearly allowance combined.

"Ah, um…"  A nervous sweat built up on your brow as you fished your wallet out, peering into what little funds you had. "Leona, honey—I just needed to get some school supplies…Is there a different mall we can go to?" You sheepishly smiled up at him. "I don't think I can afford to get anything here."

Silence immediately follows as Leona stares at you with a dumbfounded look. Blinking bluntly, he scoffs. "Who said you were paying?"

"Hu-Huh?" You stammered, fiddling with your wallet. The lion's eyes were ripped wide open in shock, as if the mere thought of you spending your own money on your own things was a criminal act. Something so ludicrous that even a person with his deceptive persona finds it distasteful.

"Ain't it obvious already? I'm paying," Leona huffs, dragging you to a nearby jewelry shop. Behind the glass were displays of glittering pearls and jewels, each of which had delicate and intricate carvings. "And we're gettin' more than stationary."

"But-!" You start, only to get interrupted as his calloused hand clamps over your mouth.

"No buts."

───────────────────── · ·

— ♰  RUGGIE

Giving you his coat when you're cold and just being sickeningly sweet<3

Ruggie was used to working for others, and this habit of his pours over to you. Though it wouldn't take long for people to notice that his acts of labor was…different with you.

For others, Ruggie works because there's an exchange, a benefit, or a payment for him. For you, however, he does things with no motive in mind. He would never ask for more because he genuinely didn't need anything more, and if he ever did, a simple kiss or hug from you would be plenty.

꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚.

It was a frigid winter day and both of you were walking to school together, a routine you both developed over the past few months. As you followed him through the deep snowfall, the cold wind nipped and bit at your skin, making you shudder. Despite the struggle, you push on, the rough pads of your boots dragging along the thick blankets of snow.

Unfortunately for you, the flimsy cardigan you bought at Sam's did nothing to keep your body safe from the cruel winter.

While Ruggie's oversized warm coat helps kept him sufficiently warmed up, you, on the other hand, are struggling. You know you should have gotten a thicker coat, but this was all you could afford last minute.

Ever so caring, your boyfriend is quick to notice this and turns back around, trudging through the snow to meet you.

"C'mere," Ruggie drags you into his embrace and starts to slowly inch the coat off his shoulders. With your form now pushed against his body, he takes the chance to press a soft kiss against your cheeks. At the exchange of affection, both of you erupt in soft giggles, lovesick grins stretched across your lips.

The moment feels intimate, loving, and safe.

"Here ya' go." Suddenly he's engulfing you in his thick cloak and zipping it up. Protesting, you try to give it back, but all he does is snicker and shake his head. He peppers warm kisses on the side of your bare frostbitten neck, relishing in the giggles that spill from your lips. "Keep it. I can handle the cold. I'm used to it but I can't have you freezin' out here, now can I?"

───────────────────── · ·

— ♰  JACK

Carries you when your feet start to hurt, tee hee

Jack was strong and well-disciplined. He's worked hard and trained himself to peak physical condition, yet even then, he's continually seeking to improve himself even more. He's tried it all: fitness routines, weight lifting, and sports. And it pays off.

His strength has proven useful in a variety of circumstances. from physical education classes, sporting events, marathons, and, strangely enough, carrying you when your heels begin to hurt your feet.

꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚.

Jack looks around the booths as he takes your hands in his, pulling you along the festival crowds, "Hm. I think the takoyaki stand is around here. You were craving that earlier, right?" If it weren't for the intense dull ache at the bottom of your ankles, you would have been delighted to hear about the delectable octopus snack.

Instead, you hissed and pulled on the beastman's hand, halting to a stop, unable to take the torture of your heels any longer. "Jack, hold on a second."

Groaning, you slouch down on a nearby bench and kick off your heels, scowling at the dull throb that's pressing itself against the back of your foot. Jack quickly knelt down by your side, ears alert and tail swishing.

"What's wrong?" He questions as he drags your legs over to rest on top of his firm thighs. "Do your feet hurt?"

"Yeah," you sigh. "I kinda regret putting on heels at a festival like this…I didn't realize it would hurt so bad. I just wanted to look cute."

The wolf ponders for a moment before swiftly turning around, presenting his back to you, "Get on."

"Eh?" You blinked, tilting your head to the side. Jack looks away, keeping his head tilted to the ground as a dark flush swept over his skin. "I'll carry you…I-If your feet hurt, I won't mind carrying you."

"Oh!" Smiling, you slip onto his back and wrap your arms snug around his neck. Jack clutches your heels in one hand while the other grasps onto your thigh. The beastman easily stands up, supporting both his and your weight as he heads towards the food stands.

"Who knew you were such a softie, Jack! Hehe." You tease, pressing a kiss against the side of his neck. The beastman flushed even more, avoiding your gaze at all cost.

"Tch. I-I don't go around doing this for anyone."

───────────────────── · ·

— ♰  AZUL

Sugar dad-I mean-financial help<3 #2

Azul lived to spoil you.

For you, the octo-mer gleefully buys mountains of clothing. Your entire wardrobe has been thoughtfully planned by him (and often rapidly purchased, Floyd is always the victim to his 12am shopping whims).

Other than clothing, he's also quite fond of jewelry. He clasps pure pearls to your ears, drapes diamonds over your neck, and slips rings onto your fingers. It would be the highlight of Azul's day to see the items he had purchased for you proudly displayed for all the students on campus to see.

꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚.

"Shall we?" he asks softly as he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you up from your chair. The smooth white silk of your dress cascades off the plush leather seat, draping down to your ankles. Azul swiftly guides you away from the lounge, signaling at both Floyd and Jade in the corner to clean up before turning his attention back to you, once more. "I hope the food was to your liking, angelfish?"

"Oh, it was," you confirm, a smile playing on your lips. Leaning up, you press a warm kiss against his lips, one which he returns. "Thank you for the wonderful night, Azul! The dress as well. It looks beautiful."

"Why, of course." The octo-mer hums, running his hand up your back. As he slips both of you into his room, he shuts the door with his foot and guides you to his vanity. "Though I do have one last gift."

"Another?" You chuckle, "Don't you think you spoil me too much? I don't want it to seem like I'm leeching off of you…"

"No, you could never," Azul says as he motions you to a seat near the table of his vanity. The octo-mer reaches over and opens a drawer, revealing a nice velvet box.

As the box is opened, a gorgeous sea-glass necklace with a stunning silver-coral colour is exhibited to you. It sat prettily atop a white plush pillow, winking at you. Azul deftly runs a hand up your neck to pull your hair back and your lips parts in a "o" when he clasps it on.

"Azul," you breathlessly murmur. "I can't possibly—This must have cost a fortune."

"It's for you," Azul smiles. "Only for you."

───────────────────── · ·

— ♰  JADE

You have scary eel privileges'

It was not uncommon for Jade to come knocking at your door in opportune times of the night to accompany you out for a walk. You mentioned once how you loved stargazing and Jade hasn't let that go since. For he too had always carried a fondness for the night, more specifically, the moon.

It was constant, a repetitive lustrous cycle, and despite his thrill seeking nature, he took comfort in its consistency. Walks with you were the highlight of his week, and he certainly does not take interruptions from pesky little bugs lightly.

꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚.

The night sky above Ramshackle was littered with painted specs of sparkling stars, burning brightly amidst the gradients of blue and black. Jade had a firm hand situated by the small of your back, gently guiding you along the dirt path of the trail.

"It's so beautiful…" You murmur in astonishment, craning your head up to peer up at the canvas of stars. Chuckling, Jade tugs you in closer to slip his large jacket over your shoulders. "I'm glad you like it, pearl. I do hope it's not too cold?"

"Not at all."

Both of you continue along your hike, going deeper and deeper into the thick, dense forest. As you trudged on, a bundle of wild mushrooms caught your eye and you halted to a stop, recognizing the patterns and spots on the fungi in a book Jade had once shown you.

"Wait here a moment. I just saw those mushrooms you wanted so bad. I'll go get it!" Before Jade could even reply, you were already off, sneaking past tall bushes and prickly trees. 

Just as you were about to pick your first mushroom, a low growl interrupts you. Freezing, your eyes dart upward to see a Savanaclaw student towering over your form. 

He did not seem happy.

"Oya? You're that Ramshackle punk, aren't you?…I have to say, Leona let you off real easy after that little spy mission you did in our dorm." He sneers, rolling the joints of his shoulders and moving closer, backing you up against a tree. "That's all good with me…Cuz' If he won't do something bout' it, then I will."

Suddenly, he was drawing his fist back, aiming for you. The sudden shift happened so quickly that all you could do was flinch and hunch over, preparing yourself for a hit.

Only for it to never come.

"My, my," a familiar voice muses. Breath hitching in your throat, you peek up and see Jade looming behind the boy. The eel's hand was coiled tight around the beastman's wrist, clasping tighter and tighter until there was a sickening snap. 

"How foolish of you to think I would allow that."

───────────────────── · ·

— ♰ FLOYD

You have scary eel privileges' #2

Floyd was a lot softer and caring than a lot of people would give him credit for. That or he just gives you special treatment. After all, the big bad eel found you endearing. You were his one and only beloved little shrimpy. 

You were the one who stood by him even when others dismissed him as strange or frightful because you loved and adored him wholeheartedly. So, he can't help but be protective of you.

Nothing will ever hurt you so long as he's by your side.

꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚.

"Shrimpy? What're you doing here?"

Sniffles and cries wreck your chest as you curled up on Floyd's bed, clutching his shrimp plush tight in your arms. Said eel was standing by the door, a look of shock plastered onto his features before it turned ice-cold as he approached your weeping form.

"My poor shrimpy…" Floyd rasps, tugging off his gloves to cup your wet cheeks with his big hands. "What's wrong with my shrimpy? Did someone do this? I'll squeeze 'em if they did."

The eel crawls into bed with you, tugging the plush out of your arms and slipping himself into your embrace. Soft warm kisses are peppered on your wet cheeks as Floyd coos at you.

Sobbing, you raise a hand to furiously wipe at your eyes before exclaiming, "It's Grim again! Why does he have to be so difficult?! I worked so hard for my alchemy exam, but it seems like he doesn't care! He's brought our grades down again!"

"It's that cat of yours again, huh?" Floyd clicked his tongue, thumb pressing against the corner of your teary eyes. He pressed a warm palm to your cheek, examining your face with close inspection as he slowly reached for your hand and set it down atop his beating heart. "No worries. Just let it all out, shrimpy. I'll have a talk with the baby seal later hehe~"

You sniffed and brushed his comments aside as you pulled away from the embrace, an action which made him pout. "…I'm not sure he'd even listen. Grim is as stubborn as a rock." 

"We'll see about that, shrimpy." Floyd scoffs, a frown on his face clearly visible as he pulls you closer once more.

"Yanno, I'm pretty good at alchemy myself." Floyd chirps, a dark grin slowly stretching across his cheeks. "I'm sure the baby seal won't mind having a private tutor session with good ol' me."

───────────────────── · ·

— ♰ ROOK

This man WORSHIPS the ground you walk on.

As they say, "Before you die, experience the love of a writer, poet or painter. If you're lucky enough to be an artist's muse, they will immortalize you." Such a muse you were to Rook.

Though it would take quite a lot of coaxing before he could have the pleasure of having you as his muse, at the rare moments you did agree—Rook did his utmost best to do you justice on the canvas.

꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚.

Portraiture looked into the life of the subject, revealed what was hidden deep inside, and examined it. With his hunter-like manner, Rook was all too acquainted with this study.

"A-Am I doing this right?" You murmur, trying your best not to move around as you held a bouquet of daisies up to your chest. There was a cream-tinted dress draped across your body as you reclined against the backdrop Rook had set up.

"Oui. Such beauty in your gaze, trickster. Angels lurk behind your eyes." The hunter flirts, resolute gazed locked onto your flustered ones as he drags his brush against the palette. There was an experiment with the hues for a time before he blended a few other colors.

"I cannot thank you enough for allowing me to do this." As he'd found the color he wanted, Rook turned back to you. He took careful note of every nuance and detail of your glowing visage and committed as much as he could to memory. Rook knew he’d have to make your portrait perfect. He simply couldn’t allow for anything else.

"You're very persistent," you huff with a small smile on your face. "I had to cave in eventually, huh?"

"But, of course!" Rook cheekily grins, turning his attention back to the canvas. "I can't let a chance like this pass me by."

Time passed and layers upon layers of color came together to form the picture he sought after. Out to the right, spread across a lush sofa, was your incandescent form. And he surely didn't hold back on the details. The creases in the fabric, the curve of your smile, and the contours of the plush pillows scattered on either side of the plush crimson sofa all draw the eye.

It was a large painting that he had boldly placed in Pomefiore's living room, much to Vil's chagrin. Try as he might, the dormleader couldn't get the hunter to remove it at all.

───────────────────── · ·

— ♰ MALLEUS

Princess treatment? pff. That's cute. No, it's queen treatment to him.

You had a bad tendency of rambling on about whatever that came to mind, often without realising that another person was in the same room as you. Even if you initially didn't mind this little quirk of yours, recent events have made you realise that you should probably curb your mouth-running.

Even more so considering that your partner, caring as he was, had a tendency to be quite…impulsive. Especially when it comes to matters concerning your comfort and well-being.

꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚.

Malleus was flipping through a catalogue of colour samples and scrutinizing each texture with careful judgment. Slipping the page into your hands, he murmurs, "This is all rather lovely. Perhaps a dark crimson will suffice. Or would you like this wine red dye, my dear?" The dragon looked at you, patiently awaiting your response.

Only for there to be none.

You stood awkwardly at his side, your cheeks flaming up with shame. Tugging at his coat, you rose up on your tiptoes and whispered quietly, "Tsunotaro…when I whined about it being cold, I didn't mean for you to go this far."

"Oh?" He quirks a brow up, "Do you not like these colors?"

"Mal," you utter gently, handing the catalogue back to him. "I don't really think we need to—"

"Young Master. If I may," Sebek interrupts, voice raising to a strained high squeak, "Please do tell. Why are we replacing every.single marble floor in the dorm…with carpet?"

Malleus draws you in his arms, all while ignoring the enraged stare painted on Sebek's face. "My darling's feet become frigid cold when they walk along the marble flooring. I think it's due time for it to get redone," he says while running his hands tenderly up your back and gazing at you with a ghost of a smile on his lips.

Sebek blinks, a strained smile sneaking up on his cheeks, "Well. I'm sure they can use slippers—"

"Nonsense." Malleus snarls, eyes flashing a luminous green. "How dare you even think of subjecting them to such a ludicrous act. Hmph. Using…slippers—How preposterous." 

"No. I think my way is much better." Shaking his head, Malleus turns back to the catalogue—paying no mind to the grief-stricken look on his retainer's face. "Now dearest, do you think burgundy would look good in the kitchen?"

───────────────────── · ·

—♰ SEBEK

Carries your sparkly pink purses for you, slay king<3

Sebek was not a fool. The fae was well aware he could be a bit…much at times. And even if he doesn't express it, he really values your nearly infinite patience with him. 

The boy was awkward at affection, and this is especially highlighted when it comes to anything involving romantic gestures. Even though your snappy crocodile was hard-headed and stubborn at times, he still showed you how much he cared in his own little ways. Even if it were something as simple as carrying your sparkly pink bag around the campus.

꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚.

"You ought to have known better than to jest so lightly about Diasomnia that way!" Sebek barks out, a leather-clad finger digging deep into Ace's chest. However, as opposed to being upset as Sebek had anticipated, the ginger chortles, muffled giggles sneaking past his clamped up lips.

"Sebek, buddy." Ace wheezes out, shoulders shaking from the strain of his suppressed laughter. "It's kinda hard to take you seriously…wh-when you have that."

The Heartslabyul runt gestures towards your designer purse, which was snugly resting against Sebek's bicep, slung over his shoulder. 

It was quite the eye-catcher. The sparkling pink diamonds of its handle twinkled a bright brilliant white, so bright in fact that it was almost blinding. 

Epel takes notice of the logo and crocodile keychain attached to it and he perks up.

"Oh, it's one of those girly-lookin' designer bags Vil is always yappin' about," Epel points out, squinting his eyes to get a better look at it. "Ain't that the prefect's bag?"

Unfazed by Ace's mocking, Sebek scoffs arrogantly, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "Indeed, it is. As a knight-in-training, it is only right for me to possess the quality of a gentleman. Chivalrous acts like this are nothing to be ashamed of." He abruptly snapped his head over to glower at Ace, who was sitting rather comfortably in the cafeteria bench, crossing one leg over the over as he met Sebek's irritated stare. "Not that I anticipate someone like you to ever have experience with it.."

Sebek then rose from the table and strode boldly in the direction of your classroom, the pink bag swinging with each heavy step he took. Epel was leaning over the table, placing a shaky hand on Ace's shoulder as loud laughter racked through his body.

"Darn' right," Epel cackles, wiping the tears away from his eyes before turning to the ginger. "Nice ta' see someone still has sum chivalry…Unlike you, Ace."

The ginger visibly deflates, rolling his eyes as he mutters, "Yeah, yeah. We get it. He's down bad."

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[arcsimper5]

Clarification

Spoilers for TBB S3 Finale under the cut, just a bit of clarification on what I've been posting about since the finale.

I've lost quite a few followers and had some odd comments directed at me for this, so I wanted to just go a bit more in depth on my gripes.

I want to preface this by saying, I enjoyed the finale. I've glad they got their happy ending, I'm glad we got old man Hunter and grown up Omega and they got their peace.

What bothers me the most is Crosshair.

To put this into context, Jennifer Corbett is a Navy veteran. She has seen combat. She has almost definitely seen people affected by PTSD, if not affected by it herself.

Crosshair's hand tremor was a result of PTSD from the torture and the attempted conditioning.

PTSD is a serious, sometimes lifelong condition which can limit what someone can do. Triggers differ for everyone, as do the causes, but as someone who also has PTSD, though mine is from childbirth and the trauma associated, I get shivery and clammy and have panic attacks if I hear certain stimuli, smell certain smells.

Crosshair was meditating. He was coming to terms with his PTSD and how it WAS in his control if he worked on it.

To end all of that, basically going 'PTSD is stored in the hand, lol', was an insult.

Taking his hand was a stupid writing choice. Not only because it served literally no narrative purpose (the bridge scene would have been SO MUCH MORE IMPACTFUL IF CROSSHAIR'S HAND HAD STOPPED SHAKING BECAUSE HE HAD TO SAVE OMEGA), but also because, from that point on, Crosshair's PTSD is never addressed again.

He's cured! Right?! Because they cut off the thing that was being affected by his BRAIN, so there's NO MORE PROBLEMS.

It's cheap. It's lazy. It's poor writing.

The second half of the finale reeks of being rushed and cut and glued back together incoherantly.

We don't get closure for anyone other than Hunter. They sit under the tree, and Crosshair and Wrecker are SILENT.

I expected MORE. The focus on Crosshair and his hand has been intense this whole season, it's been a huge plot point.

But now the hand's gone, so it's all good.

I've seen some people saying that it 'freed' Crosshair from being a sniper.

But you know what? He could have freed himself. He didn't need a personal attack (by a clone who turned out to be no-one - salty about that for other reasons). He could have done it with the love and support of his family.

I expected better from a veteran. That's what's miffed me. I expected better from a writing team being trusted to deal with PSTD.

So I'll leave you with this, because I'm frustrated, but I know it's just a show, and I'm going to let it go.

[saintsenara]

would you want to elaborate more on your thoughts on Alan Rickman as Snape? I'd love to hear more of your take on it. I dislike him in the role so much and it's insanely difficult to actually have a conversation about it sometimes because of how much some people like movie!Snape in large parts of the fandom

I have so many gripes with what happened to Snape, from how movie!Alan!Snape is a completely separate character to book!Snape (and how less flawed movie Snape overshadows the much more interesting and gray book version), how much I dislike his acting choices in certain moments to how much I dislike how he sees and describes the character in interviews

I've never heard of the diaries you mentioned, what did he say in them? I'm honestly also just curious if he even read any of the books because some of the things I've heard him say really make me doubt it 😭

there are dozens of us!

and i have no issue with being a #hater on the public timeline. for fun and profit.

but i'm actually going to start with two bits of rickman defending [it's giving diplomat].

the fact that the adult cast of the films was massively aged up in comparison to their book versions makes perfect sense. each individual film not only needed to be accessible for people who’d never read the books, but for people who'd never seen another film in the sequence - and so having a visual distinction between harry and james’ generations is completely necessary. we - as people who are undeniably more invested in the series than the average person - know that the great tragedy of the later books is that james and lily died so young that harry looks virtually indistinguishable from his father as he walks into the forest. but that doesn’t always work on screen…

it also doesn't bother me unduly that rickman doesn't physically resemble the canon snape. plenty of actors don't look anything like the characters they give brilliant performances of [and not only fictional characters, but real people], and it doesn't matter in the slightest - being an exact physical match for a character says nothing about an actor's ability to portray what they're like.

which is where my beef with film!snape starts...

the thing that never hits for me is that rickman plays snape - regardless of the situation he finds himself in - as emotionally repressed, cold, and controlled.

[even down to the costume - he was behind the decision to have snape be, literally, buttoned up].

i simply don't know how anyone could read the books and come away with this impression of snape without having fundamentally misunderstood the character. snape is incredibly emotionally demonstrative! he’s the male character other than harry - the literal narrative perspective - whose emotional state is described the most frequently! and his emotional state is always described in terms which make clear that he’s someone who feels very deeply and who registers his emotions clearly on his face!

rickman's version of snape bears no resemblance to this - and it means that his portrayal of two key aspects of snape's canon character always feels flat to me.

the first is snape's main negative trait - his cruelty. something is really lost in the fact that film!snape's cruelty is reduced to something arch and precise - and that it doesn't have the petty, childish, vindictive tone that it does in the books.

and the second is - of course - the experience which defines snape's canon arc - his grief. this is so inextricably bound up in the state of arrested development - still living at school! still beefing with people he knew when he was fifteen! - that the absence of snape's childish side in rickman's performance means that the way he portrays snape's grief is always going to feel half-baked.

and - specifically - rickman's emphasis on emotional repression in every aspect of snape's character undermines the fact that - in canon - snape's mingled love, grief, and guilt for lily is the only emotion he goes out of his way to repress, which allows the revelation of his feelings for lily in deathly hallows to actually feel like a mystery being solved.

snape is an interesting character precisely because he's so... feral - and rickman’s buttoned-up, suave, nowhere-near-as-gratuitously-mean-as-he-should-be take on him is the cause of many of the least complex and least compelling fanon!snapes [in particular, the snape prominent in pairings with female partners in which he’s kind, sophisticated, romantic, and definitely not really ugly].

the snapewives phenomenon was incredible, though. fair play to him for inspiring that.

when it comes to the diaries... what's complicated is reconciling two particular truths.

on the one hand, a diary is inherently a space for a person to record their private thoughts [they were published with the consent of his family, but they weren't originally written with the intention that they'd be published] - and, therefore, to record impolite, unpleasant, or unadmirable thoughts which they wouldn't express in person. rickman's diaries are incredibly whiny - and often quite unkind - but it's clear that this isn't because he was particularly whiny or unkind in person. obviously, it's a good and healthy thing that, if someone was pissing him off at a dinner party, he was cordial to them in conversation and saved that he thought they were an idiot for his private diary!

but, on the other hand, there are several threads which run through these private thoughts which made it impossible for me not to feel considerably less fond of him.

[fanfic-lover-girl]

The HP Epilogue: JKR's trashfire ending to a trash book series

I was reading snippets from the epilogue for the first time and everything about the epilogue is just frustrating. And I want to share things I found intolerable about it to let off steam. These are MY opinions so if you feel differently, I am happy for you. But here is a summary of my gripes.

The names of the Hinny Harry's kids

James Sirius. Albus Severus. Lily Luna. I can empathize with wanting to honour people you love by naming your kids after them...but this is just overkill. Not one of Harry's kids has an original name. Not one! And I said Harry's kids because it seems like Ginny had absolutely no input in the names. If I am being generous, maybe the Luna name was hers, but given the naming pattern of the kids, I am sure that Luna references Lupin and not Luna Lovegood. Sometimes I feel as if Harry has a domineering vibe in Hinny and the kids' names are not doing any favours to combat that. Not surprising as everything about the Hinny romance was dictated by Harry's wants. Who cares about Ginny?

Muggleborne discrimination is bad but pureblood discrimination is A-ok

‘You’re right, sorry,’ said Ron, but unable to help himself, he added, ‘don’t get too friendly with him, though, Rosie. Granddad Weasley would never forgive you if you married a pure-blood.’

I could not believe my eyes when I read this. It's like Ron forgot that HIS family is pureblood! It's the same vibe as a black parent telling their black or mixed kid not to marry another black person! Luna is pureblood! Neville is pureblood! Do the Weasleys have some kind of self-hatred?? Another point to purebloods slowly dying out but who cares? As far as JKR is concerned, the wizards should be aiming to all be mutts with mixed blood :)

BTW the Scorpius/Rose pairing fills me with revulsion. I like Albus and Scorp as friends though! But not so much as lovers.

Marriage is the only way to be truly part of a family

‘Oh, it would be lovely if they got married!’ whispered Lily ecstatically. ‘Teddy would really be part of the family then!’

Got some heavy Hinny vibes from this line of dialogue. Harry did not become a true Weasley until he got with Ginny after all :)

I know Lily is a kid and she means no malice, but I truly felt disgust towards this line. It just bothers me, especially in the context of Hinny and how Ginny functions as a way for Harry to become a Weasley member. Teddy is Harry's godson, he should be like a big brother to Lily. How does becoming a cousin-in-law make him more of a family member compared to being her surrogate big bro??

Do Hogwarts alumni swear an oath of secrecy?

‘And you don’t want to believe everything he tells you about Hogwarts,’ Harry put in.

He had never told any of his children that before, and he saw the wonder in Albus’s face when he said it.

So James Sirius is telling Albus Severus exaggerated tales about Hogwarts similar to what the Weasley twins did to Ron. But how is this possible? Do the parents not talk about Hogwarts to their kids? If my kid was going to my alma mater, I would tell him/her all about the school when I went there. I don't understand why it seems like parents don't talk about Hogwarts. At least Draco's parents seem to talk to him about the school at least.

Muggle abuse is still funny Ha. Ha.

‘As a matter of fact, I did Confund him,’ Ron whispered to Harry, as together they lifted Albus’s trunk and owl on to the train. ‘I only forgot to look in the wing mirror, and let’s face it, I can use a Supersensory Charm for that.’

Remember that Ron is an Auror! A wizarding cop! But nah muggles are still lesser than wizards so even a guy like Ron who's supposed to be a good hero character feels no shame in messing with their autonomy. Ron is literally so disgusting in the epilogue. Never thought I would end HP finding Ron the least tolerable of the trio when Ron is usually my fav of the 3. Not that the bar is very high for the other two.

JKR really does not like Draco

His hair was receding somewhat, which emphasised the pointed chin.

Of course, JKR can't end the series without throwing more shade at Draco. He's rocking the middle-aged man look, only has one kid and has a love interest that we know squat about. And then in CC, Draco's wife dies! Sigh, I really hate Drastoria...

All is not well

There is still house discrimination. Magical creatures likely still have fewer rights. Aurors like Ron and everyday wizards abuse their powers against muggles. Purebloods are dying out. Wizards like Albus act like they did not grow up in a magical world, aka wizards still have low brain cell counts. But sure, Harry's scar is fine so ALL IS WELL!

I can't believe there are people out here calling JKR a good writer! I see the vast potential of the book series and I feel so sad sometimes. I am so happy that HP never existed in my childhood.

[tathrin]

My little Tolkien-fic pet-peeve of the day? Writers calling elves, dwarves, or hobbits men or women in their* narration.

"Pippin shaded his eyes, squinting until the sight of the man walking up the road resolved itself into the familiar form of his cousin Merry..."

Hobbit. Just say Hobbit. You don't need to gender everything. Or if you must, then "Hobbit-lad" or "Hobbit-lass" how's that? Or person! Being! Individual! Literally any word that isn't an inaccurate use of the word "man" for someone who is not a man!

"Gimli looked up at the taller man and scoffed at the sight of Legolas's pointed ears, now drooping with dismay..."

See this one just sounds silly, doesn't it? Silly and also confusing! Because you've just called Legolas a man, but clearly you're talking about an elf or he wouldn't have pointed ears, now would he? And Gimli's a dwarf! So why did you say "man" at all? There are no men here! (Unless Aragorn is playing Third Wheel in the background I suppose, but that's neither here-nor-there right now.)

"Glorfindel turned upon the edge of the fountain and greeted the other man with a smile like a sunrise..."

No no no stop, they are not men. Neither of them are men. They're elves. That's kind of a big important plot element in fact, that the Firstborn and the Secondborn are distinct and sundered from one another, please don't call elves men it's weird and awkward and often confusing because then I'll think you're talking about "A Man" but no, you mean an elf but you said man and it's just so off-putting...

They're different species, guys! (This drives me nuts in scifi too. Stop with the humanocentricism! You're not the Galactic Empire!) Replace the word "man" with something else and see how silly it sounds. "Elephant," perhaps; or any other species that isn't the one you're actually talking about.

"Gimli looked up at the taller raccoon and scoffed..."

"Glorfindel greeted the other ant-eater with a smile like a sunrise..."

"The sight of the giraffe walking up the road resolved itself into his cousin Merry..."

See? Yeah, that's how inaccurate it feels to me every time I read the word "man" or "woman" when you're talking about somebody who is not a human. It's not something on the level of squick where I'll reverse out of a fic if I see it, no, but it absolutely is jarring enough to throw-off the rhythm and mood of the story, for me.

(And if I see it in the first line or so before I've gotten invested in the story...yeah. That'll get me out of a fic almost as fast as lack of paragraph-breaking.)

Because I'm such a sucker for world building, I suspect, and the fact that these are all different peoples with different cultures and capabilities and outlooks and understanding and history and everything is such an interesting and important aspect of Middle-earth to me...and lumping all these different folks into one thing like that as though gender is the most important and indeed only notable aspect of their identity, and overrides everything else about them is just weird. It doesn't make sense. And I do not like it.

(Exceptions obviously made for when the character's identity is being deliberately obscured or confused, and they are erroneously thought to be a human and then revealed as something else; that sort of thing is on purpose and thus is fine.)

(Also exceptions for folk like Arwen or Elwing or Elladan etc who straddle the line between species.)

Anyway thank you for coming to this session of Tathrin Whines About Little Things To Avoid Doing Productive Writing Today.

*none of these lines are actual examples taken from real fics; I made them up for this post. Please do not attach call-outs to actual fics or authors in the notes. No need to be mean!

But absolutely fell free to gripe along with me if this silly little world building detail bothers you too. Or laugh at me for being a ridiculous spec-fic nerd. I'm fine with that too!

[aqua-dan]

What are your thoughts on preboot Garth vs reboot Garth? You seem to be one of the only people who like reboot Garth. What is appealiong about him?

Well, "like" might be a strong word.

It's really no surprise that I'm saying this, but Reboot Garth has NOTHING on Preboot Garth. Let's not kid ourselves and pretend that Preboot Garth isn't superior in literally every conceivable way.

Preboot Garth is such an incredible character. He is kind, gentle, smart, and powerful. He is emotionally impactful and occupies a space that is so specifically Him that no other character could fill it. He is so compelling, so relatable, and frankly he's downright adorable too! When I have been at some of my lowest points in life, he's been a character that I've grown up alongside and used as an example of emotional strength to help me stand back up and carry on despite the anxiety and sadness and pressure. Truly, he is one of my comfort characters of all time. His story and the things he can do are also extremely interesting!

Physically strong ✔️

Control over water ✔️

Magic ✔️

Eye blasts ✔️

Diplomacy ✔️

Like 50 other things that he forgot to mention that he can do, but totally can ✔️

So you may be wondering then, why I still like Reboot Garth who is… hardly at all like what I just described. And my answer to that is: I don't know.

You would certainly be right to say that for the most part*, Rebirth Garth is nothing like his pre-n52 counterpart. (*World's Finest: Teen Titans was the closest we've gotten. It was kind of nice in regards to Garth, with the exception of a few gripes I have here and there.) And you'd be right to be upset about it. I know I am. Quite often, to be honest.

But for some reason I just can't bring myself to fully condemn Rebirth Garth. At the end of the day, I'm in fandom to have fun, you know? And if I spend all my time hating something that's out of my control… well what good does that do me? At this point, I feel like I've resigned myself to the knowledge that I simply will not be getting what I want in regards to Garth, and so I've turned to becoming a bemused spectator at the things happening in current comics. I can still become excited about it when I DO manage to find a bit that I like. There was a post a while back that went something like,

"N52 and Rebirth suck except the parts that I like. And those bits I'll toss into a blender, puree, and mix in with preboot canon."

Yeah, that. Basically, when it comes to Reboot Garth, (in my own head) I ignore the reboot and then blend up the little bits I enjoy to create the utopian world of Canon+. And from my little imaginary perch, I can choose to still enjoy this character who has taken my blorbo's name, but sadly isn't really him.

With how changeable comics are as a medium though, I do also believe that there will be a writer someday who is willing to do the legwork necessary to bring Garth back around to being the blorbo I once knew. Some currently canon things will definitely have to be tossed out, but hey, that's the nature of comics!

That said tho, I think another one of the things that prevents me from disliking him is (surprisingly) the design. It's a controversial take amongst Garth fans for sure, but I honestly like it for the most part. There are a few things I'd tweak to make him look like more of an extension of Preboot Garth (CURLY HAIR, PLEASE), but there are a lot of elements that I just so happen to find aesthetically appealing and thus don't really mind. That isn't to say that Garth didn't already look fucking incredible, because he ABSOLUTELY did. I'm just not that bothered, I guess haha!

[laylawatermelon]

I have thoughts about this ep...

(It's not good... But not bad)

911's writing of this storyline seems to be teetering in the wrong direction and it may cause a disconnect with some viewers.

Hi! I literally took a nap and woke up with an essay 🙃.

But let's get to the good stuff.

This season has been phenomenal. The acting and writing has all been consistent with the original past 4 seasons. (Season 5 and 6 were good just had a different tone)

This has been due to the show runner returning.

Now that we've gotten all the facts out of the way here's my opinion.

I'll be honest, the twin/lookalike story that came up is causing me to pull away and not in a good way.

If I objectively look at it as a fan this cones out of left field and may intrigue a set of fans. Those fans are likely in the higher age range. (Nothing wrong with it but just an observation)

(i keep up with updates online so it didn't bother me that much)

But for me as I was watching it and the scene came up and then The Grey's Anatomy came up I don't know why but a flash pinged in my brain of this feels like a Telenovela/Soap Opera.

And it is in fact a storyline commonly used or mentioned of the long lost twin or the doppelganger who's back to destroy, seduce, etc. to shake up the main characters life.

I will say that what 9-1-1 has been doing is a good job between toeing the line between supernatural and realistic.

This is leaning a bit to close to the former and can lose some people.

(i will say that this storyline isn't hitting like it usually does the others, even if I wasn't an buddie fan. Hell as an Eddie fan I'm still confused)

The tone of the show this season has been lighter so of course the storylines do reflect that.

My only gripe is what makes 9-1-1 compelling in the first place is the odd fact that the characters don't die and they're realistic (enough) in their cases and drama.

They're gripping enough that they can use these cliches to grip the audience backed by stellar performances and direction.

I just don't like the soap opera-y feeling I got from the trope. (Personal preference what can I say)

Now the next episode will probably expand on this storyline and will cause the conclusion to be touching and heartfelt.

I'm just a bit sour about the lead up to it because it's like oh this woman who looks exactly like my deceased/missing partner appears in the same vicinity as me (despite living in a very big very populated state) so I must get to know her better. I end up throwing away my morals and then something bizarre happens and then something else happens and I find out she's insert - (illusion/twin/stalker/literally anything out of pocket you can think of).

The audience swoons because of course she is (bad/evil/plotting etc).

It's not gripping me.

Emotionally however I'm intrigued how this will eventually effect Christopher as it he sees her he's screwed for life.

In addition to his dad talking to her in the first place, therefore unintentionally enforcing his women all leave/slight lack of respect for their feelings as they're replaceable (she would literally replace his mom in name and face) or disposable (Marisol as the woman left behind).

Yes Eddie's happy but he's also being more reckless than he usually is.

He's always been aiming to find what they had but his actions have implications.

(imma put on my buddie hat for a second this is all/j)

Like how he leaves his son with his dad and goes on a date with another person constantly. 😤 Rude

(no lie they are good coparents though even if they are platonic. They work better than some romantic straight families on tv)

Back to analysis mode though, this action has dangerous implications on both how relationship with Christopher and how he can harm him and eventually how their relationship can decline because of this.

It's not just the disloyalty to both his current partner and son but the example he'll be setting.

Chris probably may end up listening to Buck more as a result because he wouldn't/hasn't hurt him in the way his father currently does with this situation. For relationship advice and such.

Yes it's good drama (in an emotional/analytical sense) I'm just sulky about the telenovela feel of it don't mind me.

I'm positive their performances will make it lean more towards the procedural drama movie feel the show is known for.

Hell this had to happen some day right? The soap operafication of 9-1-1.

Hope is a beautiful ride at least. 🤷🏾‍♀️

(ps this episode was great all things aside)

[steddie-there]

Steve's got his hands on his hips, a scowl on his face, and Eddie's leaning in the door to the kitchen, arms crossed tight over his chest and glare directed at the table. The table with a neat stack of notebooks and pile of dice and clump of miniatures all standing in rows. The table where, yesterday, he had notebooks spread open, drawings and notes for different campaign ideas paired with miniatures and sets of dice, visual cues for the plans and stories.

"I just don't get why you're so upset," Steve bitches. "All I did was clean!"

Eddie rolls his eyes. "I'm upset because now I can't find any of my shit." It's a lot more growly than he intends, but it also sounds how he feels so he rolls with it.

Thump

"Not exactly sure how you could find any of it before," Steve gripes, ignoring the thumping noise from the living room. "Our table looked like a bomb had been dropped on it."

Thump

Steve ignored the thumping sound, so Eddie does, too, even though it's gotten closer and louder. "Oh, well excuuuuse me for having a system," he says, flinging his arms out, his volume increasing by the second. "I knew where everything was and how it all went together. Now I have to figure it all out again. You think you'd relate, the way the bathroom looks. But you don't see me moving your hair shit around, do you? So this? This was bullshit."

THUMP

Steve's eyes widen and he jerks back and Eddie knows he shouldn't have used that word, he knows, but he's just pissed enough not to care.

"Oh, that's bullshit? Really? You know what's actually bullshit? There was trash in that pile, Eddie. Literal, actual trash. On our kitchen table. And you couldn't be bothered to clean it up, so I did." And now Steve's tone has moved out of bitchy territory into something scathing, something a lot like actual anger, matching Eddie's volume.

It makes Eddie's hands start to shake, makes Steve's breath hitch in his throat because, sure, they've fought before, a little, sniping back and forth about something petty, but it's never been like this. Never to the point of actual yelling. This is starting to feel big and loud in a way their fights never have, and now there's fear laced through the anger, but it doesn't help, only makes everything worse and

THUMPTHUMPTHUMP

This time the thumping is right next to them and they can't ignore it and, in tandem, look down to the floor between them just in time to see Paul thump his back foot again and stare at them with an expression that, if there was just a little less tension between them right now, Eddie would laughingly tell Steve looks exactly like his bitchy babysitter face.

They glance back at each other, then down to their rabbit again, who thumps his foot once more, still glaring up at them

"...I guess someone doesn't like that we're fighting," Eddie says, arms still tight across his chest.

"Yeah," Steve huffs. There's a beat of silence. Then he sighs, his shoulders lowering, running a hand through his hair. "I don't like it, either." His voice is barely more than a whisper.

Eddie bites his lip, dropping his arms a little. "Same," he admits, voice just as soft.

They stand there for a minute, the quiet ringing between them, all the fight draining from their bodies, before Steve steps closer, plucks at the hem of Eddie's shirt, as if he wants to touch but isn't sure it would be welcome.

"I'm sorry, Eds. I shouldn't have moved your things. I was frustrated with the food wrappers and cans on the table and instead of talking to you, I just got mad. You're right, I should understand. The bathroom sink is always a mess, but everything is right where I want it, and you never touch any of it but if you did I'd probably -"

"Hey," Eddie interrupts, gentle, tucking a strand of hair behind Steve's ear, cupping his cheek. "I'm sorry, too. I let it build up really badly and I shouldn't be leaving trash out like that."

Steve leans into the touch with a soft sound, lets his hands rise to circle Eddie's waist, leans their foreheads together. "Still. I should have talked to you."

"Yeah," Eddie agrees, but presses a kiss to Steve's forehead because they're talking now and it's gonna be okay and now they know a little bit more. And he wraps his arms tight around Steve's back, tugs him in close.

"I promise I won't move your things anymore. I'll clean around them. And I'll talk to you if something frustrates me," Steve says into Eddie's neck, nuzzling his face into the warmth there, his arms sliding around Eddie's waist.

Eddie tucks a hand into Steve's hair, runs the strands through his fingers. "And I'll be better about throwing the wrappers and cans away so it doesn't get so bad in the first place."

For a long moment, they simply stand, wrapped up in each other, in soft hands and gentle kisses and forgiveness. Then a thought occurs to Eddie and he pulls back just far enough to peer down at Paul, who is now happily flopped against their feet.

"Hey, Stevie... did our rabbit just bully us into communicating like actual adults?"

"...I think he did, yeah," he giggles and after everything, all Eddie wants is to taste Steve's laughter, to feel it in his own mouth, so he leans in for a kiss, grins against Steve's lips.

"Guess we're lucky he's such a smart little bastard, then," he smirks, never more grateful for that day at the petshop than he is right now as they swallow each other's laughter like water after a drought.

---

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6, Part 7

ao3: And Rabbit Makes Three

[emblemxeno]

Definitive “Feelings On 3H” Post

So I’m making one big post on my feelings on major things worth discussing about 3H and how I feel about it. Don’t feel obligated to really interact with this one much, it’s mostly just for my sake, as something I can just link to and say “go to section X about how I feel about Y”.

The reason behind this is I just don’t really want to actively engage in 3H discourse anymore. I feel as if I’m a broken record at this point. If I have new things to say about it somehow, I’ll say it, but for the most part, I’ll refer people to this if they wanna know how I feel about general 3H talk. 

Story

Story Section 1- General narrative feelings on each route.

Azure Moon is, in my opinion, the most solidly constructed route in terms of writing, character development, and storytelling. It knows what it wants to accomplish and, aside from a few gripes, I will always applaud it for that. Verdant Wind and Silver Snow meanwhile, aren’t bad and I certainly didn’t have a terrible time playing through them. However, the unique story bits in each route don’t justify the gameplay experience you have to work through in order to get to them. Still, the big reveals in each route were nice to hear for the first time, and specifically for VW I enjoy Claude very much. Crimson Flower I don’t enjoy that much at all. Its story is what I can only describe as a static, eye-roll inducing victory march, which makes up for its lack of length with its seemingly intentional negative character development; everyone is ignorant, an asshole, or sad as fuck aside from the CF exlcusive cast. I would give the route props had the game bothered to stand in its foundation rather than flounder and make numerous attempts to depict every perspective as absolutely equally valid and righteous. 

Story Section 2- In trying to appeal to every perspective, the game lacks focus, foundation, and respect for itself.

It should be expected that a game with multiple routes tackle different specific subjects. However, in Fire Emblem, there always, always manages to be a unifying theme or foundational story philosophy-an Aesopian type moral if you will-no matter the route. Alm and Celica learn that their one individual philosophies can’t exist on their own, and that leadership requires strength and compassion of equal measure. Eirika and Ephraim learn that personal wishes must take a backseat for the good of Renais and Magvel as a whole, as their routes in FE8 use their own weaknesses to develop them as leaders and royalty. Corrin’s one constant in the Fates games is that conflict is inherently meaningless and does nothing but perpetuate a brutal cycle of hatred, vengeance, and violence. 

Even in games like FE7 and FE10, where the technical ‘route splits’ are more unconventional, there’s still unifying themes that manage to wrap back around at the end (7′s ‘single-minded pursuit of justice and strength/power to protect can actively hurt you and those around you, especially if you are ignorant to the pain others are going through’ and 10′s ‘people have as much capacity to be good as they have to be evil, they will hurt each other due to petty misunderstandings and bigoted views, however, they are worthy of living as they are because of the ability to grow, change, and aspire to something better’).

3H, to put it simply, does not have any grand unifying theme unique to itself. The closest examples I can think of is ‘It’s worth it to reach out to those around you to share your pain so you don’t become engulfed in it’ and ‘no matter what side you fight for, war makes everyday life a living hell for everyone’.

But to me, both of those things are just... basic truths and story elements present in every dialogue heavy FE game. War has been showcased as being terrible since FE1, where characters were held hostage, threatened to fight for a cause they didn’t believe in, innocent villages were destroyed, there was a literal child slave market, etc. And sharing your pain with those close to you in order to bear life’s challenges has been a constant trope with many FE characters, story significant or otherwise, since at least FE6 with Guninivere (probably earlier if I’m missing something from FE4 or 5). The only difference is that 3H has a fun little song to go with it.

That leaves the specific themes of each route and perspective, but because each leading character is so different from the other, and the writers didn’t want to overtly favor one over the rest, every dialogue regarding these things feels compromised; half baked, or lacking a point. 

‘Crests are symbolic of a harmful power structure but also are a symbol of justice used to ward away threats but also are a tool used to gain social and political capital in order to change the world but also are an ancient power obtained through destruction that must be used with wisdom.’ Four different perspectives from four different routes that the game attempts to depict in a balance in almost every single dialogue regarding them. And this same process is applicable to the game’s attempts at discussing race/ethnicity, xenophobia, classism, religious views, mental health, etc. There always has to be two, three, four, or five sides to every story in 3H, and that results in an exhuasting and stretched thin narrative that, in its attempts to appeal to everyone, ends up lacking substance in every point it tries to make.

Now, that itself would make for a fascinating and meta theme for the game to uphold, where ‘attempts at trying to balance and accept every perspective leads to an ineffective world that desperately needs unwavering, unconditional, and compassionate leadership’ but 1) that would require the game to play up the need for ‘seeing every side’ as something to be deconstructed, and the game doesn’t do that, it’s played painfully straight, and 2) when it’s one major power (Edelgard) vs. three major powers (Dimitri, Claude, and Rhea), the attempt at balance fails no matter what you do. This lack of focus reads to me that there was lack of respect for the game’s story itself.

Story Section 3- “It insists upon itself, Lois.”

Every time I think about the finer details of story bits in 3H I don’t care for, my brain always comes back to that Family Guy scene where Peter talks about not caring for The Godfather and saying that it’s because the movie insists upon itself. Now, that was done for comedy, but for 3H I must say that it’s a perfect sentence to use. 3H insists upon itself. This is in spite of the fact that there’s no one unifying point that it’s trying to convey to the player, beyond what any other FE games was able to do. So to make up for that, each small instance reads like the game beating the player over the head with whatever minute moral or lesson it’s trying to convey.

Crests are bad? Roll out the Edelgard, Sylvain, or Lysithea dialogue saying so. Church is sus? Get Edelgard or occasionally Claude. Nobles are pretentious? Get the sad NPCs or the few actual commoner characters to imply it. War is bad and cruel? Fire the next “Sad Dorothea” dialogue at the player’s face. Interactions feel artificial, ostentatious even. Part of that is because there’s no other way to get these points across due to Byleth being a silent avatar, the other part though? Feels as if the writers were overtly proud of themselves. “Wow, the war means Bernadetta leaves her room more often, isn’t that a sign that it really changes people?” Yeah, no shit. 

Perhaps the most egregious example is the endless instances of the game pushing the idea that there’s “no good side” in war or that “war is a battle of ideals and no one is fully correct” or other moments that want the player to know how deep and Morally Gray the narrative is. It’s cheap and inauthentic, especially when you have a faction like the Slithers. You can’t prop up Gray Morality and have an inarguably evil underground terrorist group. 

To be crude, this game explains things to you like you’re five despite being rated T for teens in a series catered mostly to young adults. I get the point you’re trying to make, you did it poorly, now stop repeating yourself, your final grade is a D+.

Story Section 4- 3H likes spectacle over substance.

3H revels in being showy over being constructive. There’s great moments, but there’s not a great plot. 

For example, Byleth has many flashy moments that show how awesome they are! They’re connected to a goddess, they can wind back time, they have a super cool historical sword, they’re a top tier mercenary, they’re a great teacher, they’re next in line for Archbishop or the throne for all of Fodlan, their Crest is the game’s version of the Fire Emblem!

Cool! What’s the significance behind all these choices in the writing room? Seemingly next to nothing other than it sounded cool. That’s how it feels anyway.

The SotC doesn’t do anything in the story beyond be Sothis’ bones, likewise the Crest of Flames is nothing other than symbolic since it lacks gameplay or story significance beyond “main characters have it”, Divine Pulse has weak narrative justification for what should be a simple gameplay exclusive rewind, the goddess in question is an underutilized character who checks out before part 1 ends, there’s no gameplay basis showcasing that they’re any better at fighting than their students, and every high level position Byleth is granted makes no sense for them to have given what little established character we get.

That’s 3H in a nutshell. Crests don’t matter other than to be a story device. Being noble or commoner doesn’t matter. The hidden technology doesn’t matter. Abyss is a joke. And on and on and on. 3H profits off of being enticing and cool looking for the sake of it, without actually utilizing or explaining any of this flashy stuff that matters for a video game medium. It makes for underwhelming gameplay and artificial characters. Example, for as much as I love Yuri, take a few minutes to read his backstory; it’s batshit and nigh unbelievable. And it’s indicative of the fact that 3H cares more about including things that sound cool than it does about making sense of anything. We see the impact, but never any material significance, which is the opposite of what you want in a detail oriented narrative like this.

Story Section 5- 3H has very gross tropes.

During 3H’s first year of being out, I desperately wanted to stay true to a view that “hey now, just because it’s depicted like this, doesn’t mean we should blast it, it’s just a video game” but, y’know. I grew up. And part of growing up is recognizing the nuanced parts of these kinds of things. 

I won’t accuse the writers of being actively ignorant or bigoted, cuz I don’t know anything about them. But fuck. Fuck, does this game read worse and worse over the years in terms of how utterly terribly it handles sensitive issues.

Multiple brown characters treated like trash by the white/pale majority, with countries said brown characters hail from described as savage and animalistic. Rampant misogynistic tropes, most notably selling women off to be married. Strange, and incessant sympathy for the character starting a war that upends the lives of common people, said character also allowing human experimentation to occur. The offensive and archaic handling of mental illnesses, specifically anxiety disorders, personality disorders, and PTSD in certain instances (IMO only Dimitri and Marianne are done with any sort of grace). And that’s just the explicit stuff! Just the other day I was talking about how there’s incredibly disturbing anti-Semitic undertones regarding the Empire (confirmed to be based on Germany btw) and the Nabateans, something that’s, at times, uncritically repeated by people in this game’s community. This game is mired in terrible allegories and metaphors, which make me cringe the more I think about the real world implications that these lines of thought can have on people in volatile corners of the Internet.

And the kicker is that the writers are so committed to making these things relate to Crests or nobility, as if either of those things are strictly the reason why oppression or discrimination occurs.

The game employs drastic harmful stereotypes, and undercuts all of them by foisting its half-baked unique gameplay/lore toy onto the conversations. It fumbles the ball and didn’t even clean up the mess well.

Characters

I have a tier list of how much I enjoy the characters right here. 

Long story short, when the characters are good, they’re good. Like, holy fuck, love them. But when they’re bad? Throw them away. Can’t stand them. And sometimes characters fall in the middle where I see the good but they’re at times written in ways that piss me off.

Worldbuilding/Setting - More is not always better

First off, when you make a character tell the player “Go read in the library for lore”, you’ve lost me. There’s nothing fun and interesting in 3H as a game for you to read in the library.

Fire Emblem’s gameplay cycle doesn’t mesh too well with the typical JRPG standard of storytelling, so the common solutions to building the world and crafting the stories was 1) make as much use as possible of cutscenes, art/cgs, and narrations to communicate the important details before and after battles and/or 2) make an intuitive inclusion to ‘break the pace’ between maps, such as a home base, in order to supplement what’s already present. Alongside this, support conversations were an ingenious tool to develop the characters and the world at the same time, as your varied and quirky cast can help you infer what their place of origin is like. Plus, the game actively rewards the player for seeking this auxiliary information out, granting extra stat bonuses when you purposefully put characters next to each other.

3H, on paper, understands this well. However, the game has too many minute details for a typical FE game structure to handle. The devs themselves even said the game became a “living creature on its own” and claimed no one on the team knows everything about 3H’s story or world. Ignoring how that’s a serious flaw for a video game narrative, what this ultimately means is that since cutscnes and a standard base can’t cut it, we need more and more and more. Libraries, side quests, tea time, ally notes, gifts, NPCs that exposit at you, etc. The DLC even added another damn library for you to sift through, as if the first one wasn’t a pain already.

And though these little flavor texts, landmarks, and set pieces are fun to read about... that’s it. The game hardly uses any of it. It’s flavor without substance, once again. It’s why half the fucking fandom is confused every other day when you bring up these tertiary details as evidence to prove a point, since the active story is too busy trying to weave the other 600 plot threads together to use any of it. That means, for all of this supposed great details regarding each nation and the important territories, we hardly see a damn thing that’s actually different. More is not always better, and in this case, it’s actively worse for both the game experience and the community experience. Not a good look for a game that the devs explicitly wanted people to talk to each other about.

As a fan of FE ever since 2013, who has gone back to play several of the games to see how they tick, 3H’s methods of describing its setting are just so antithetical to what makes the series enjoyable, and for so little reward. It sounds hypocritical given that I love Fates and Engage, but those games actively set up their glorified bases to be as unintrusive as you want them to be. 3H, however, has its gameplay built around a boring and unintuitive cycle.

Gameplay- Fire Emblem but half the time you’re not playing Fire Emblem

Gameplay Section 1-Monastery

The monastery is the most debated gameplay aspect of 3H, and IMO, for good reason.

It sucks.

Worldbuilding wise, while it makes sense that an important location is the hub for the game, that doesn’t account for how dull it is. 12 months and 4 seasons pass and does the place ever look different? No. A shame, since an improved aesthetic would drastically help ignoring the fact that the place is a bitch to traverse. For as fast as Byleth can run, they can’t outspeed the load times. Quick travel only makes the issue more apparent, as well. From door to door, and from week to week, you’ll endure more load times in one in-game month than an entire playthrough of a GBA FE game.

The other aspects of the monastery gameplay, such as teaching, activities, professor level, and motivation, while freshly fun in a first playthrough, become a repetitive slog in subsequent playthroughs. Giving gifts and lost items, eating meals, planting the right things for the garden, optimizing support point gains, using the sauna, taking care of the statues, etc. This cycle is not something I enjoy in an FE game, and unlike Fates or Engage, I can’t actively ignore it without huge penalty. 

You can skip right to each main mission, but you’d be giving yourself a huge handicap by doing so; not actively teaching students at max motivation in order to maximize skill point gain is a huge detriment in the long term. It means longer wait for better weapons, longer wait for better spells, longer wait for class change, and longer wait for better skills and battalions. Now on Normal you can get away with this, not as much on Hard, and sure the fuck not on Maddening. To me, it feels like sloppy balancing on top of an already exhausting and dull game cycle. Why let the player skip months if you didn’t bother to carefully balance the game so that the players who do skip months could have even a small chance to clear the game? Honestly, it just feels as if they thought “people might find it annoying so let’s just tack on a skip feature”, and that’s disappointing and lazy.

Overall, I hope nothing similar to the monastery’s implementation is included in any future Fire Emblem game. It’s too antithetical to FE’s main gameplay structure, IMO.

Gameplay Section 2-Battles

To be honest, Fire Emblem has never been the pinnacle of balanced gameplay, and frankly I don’t want it to be. It’s a single player game with fun anime sword guys, magic powers, and dragons. So long as it’s not dreadfully easy or overly complicated, I have no qualms about certain classes or characters being better or worse than others.

3H though is a mess. A fun mess, but still a mess. Movement decrease to foot units means you want a mount cuz the game’s maps are big, and the speed penalty for cav classes means you want a wyvern or a pegasus. Physical units do just that (or maybe War Master for Quick Riposte), you get your dancer, have a Stride unit, have your Magic units and warpers where you need them, and congrats! You solved the 3H meta. 

Half-joking, honestly. The game is extremely easy to break, the hardest part is getting to that point (after all, slugging through the monastery is a bigger test of your patience than anything else). Maddening mode, of course, you have be extra careful in the beginning (cuz they probably didn’t play test it cough cough) and utilize your combat arts and gambits effectively, and being extremely conscious of positioning. But, much like Awakening before it, 3H is very easy to snowball. Especially on NG+. That doesn’t mean it’s not fun, but it can get mindless. I don’t personally play that way, but even still, tools such as weapons mostly not being class restricted, Crests, combat arts, gambits, and accessories make the game incredibly simple. It’s a breeze, and only gets harder when certain things are stripped away from you or your debilitated somehow. Again, it’s still fun, because FE is always fun, but challenging? No. Not in a way that I find meaningful, anyway.

The maps themselves? Meh. They look pretty! Lots of small missable details that you wouldn’t see if not for the zoomed in view, that was a neat feature. Not at all useable for actually playing the game, of course, but fun to mess with and to sight see. It does make me resentful, cuz again, we could’ve potentially seen lots of rich, detailed, and varied locations bustling with townsfolk and entering villages to really feel each location. But alas, this is as good as we get.

Anyway, the maps are...fine-ish? Part 1′s maps are seared into my brain, for better and for worse (mostly worse) cuz you have to play them at least 3 different times for all the routes. Prologue through Chapter 5 are either boring, terrible, or both. Chapter 6 is the first map on my most recent playthrough that I say I had fun with in Part 1, then it continues for 7 and 8, then nosedives for 9 and 10, before picking back up for 11 and 12. In short, more than half the story maps for part 1 I find are either unexceptional or plain bad.

Now Part 2? Hunting By Daybreak is atrocious, Garreg Mach defense is pretty fun, Ailell is boring as fuck, Myrddin Bridge and Deirdru are good, Gronder Part 2 ebbs and flows between being awesome and awful, Merceus, Enbarr, and Fhirdiad are okay but tend to drag, Tailtean is alright, Shambhala is hot garbage, CF endgame is pretty fun, AM endgame is okay, VW endgame is awesome, Snow endgame is terrible. I think all routes’ part 2 is better than part 1, but not by much.

All of Cindered Shadows is peak, every map was good IMO.

Paralogue maps I have no opinions on, they are recycled maps with nothing meaningfully interesting about them that I remember aside from Dedue’s, Ashe’s, and Petra’s. 

In short, the battle maps in 3H are okay for FE standards. It’s just pretty fucking insane how many times they get reused, so I got tired of them very quickly.

Fandom

Last but not least, just a shoutout to a very unpleasant community experience. Though it might be the best selling FE game as of now, it comes with the price of having some incredibly disrespectful, vicious, and ignorant fans.

Never have I been witness to or been the target of as much harassment on the internet as I have with certain 3H fans. Entire discord servers made to make fun of groups of people with differing opinions, taking over old blog domains to mock people, deliberately seeking out people who want nothing to do with you just so you can defend your favs, etc. And that’s just on this site! There’s editing wars on TV tropes and the wikis, mods on various sites having to do deleting sprees of 3H discourse, artists being harassed on Twitter, and in general just... inserting yourselves into places and spaces where you were not invited nor encouraged to comment. Some of these people lack basic human deceny, respect, and boundaries, and it’s not cool.

Part of the reason why I’m breaking away from 3H now is because this behavior is something I got wrapped up in too, and I’m deeply ashamed of it. It’s toxic, and not at all something I want associated with one of my favorite video game series anymore. I got real life things to worry about and other games to play.

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Anyway, that’s pretty much it. All of my general thoughts on 3H, localized on one post. Sayonara, Fodlan Discourse, you won’t be missed. 🤗

[rassicas]

(I don’t feel like rewriting it cause it mostly gets across what I’m trying to say but the first paragraph is just a rant stemming from liking splatfest law as an idea, preferring a more malleable understanding of cannon, and how even good non contradictory things the NOA translators do are often discredited for not being simply 100% accurate [cause it’s often more interesting when it’s not imo] so sorry in advance)

I get being the jp translation lore purist and translator is like your entire brand but I feel like some of the “misconceptions” are just popular headcannons or not bothering to check the NOA translation against the JP one for every line. (Revising this it’s literally only splatfest law this gripe applies to I was just feeling ranty) I get really hammering on the “no there aren’t any more mammals” one because that is an important contradiction but when they don’t directly contradict (like splatfest law [again this entire paragraph is just the product of me thinking splatfest law is a fun idea and specifically disliking it being framed as a “misconception”]) it feels kinda weird to treat taking the translation you have at face value as a “misconception.” (Specifically when it doesn’t contradict established cannon or alter characterization in a major way [this has actually just become a mini rant about how treating any information exclusive to translations as non cannon on the simple basis that the JP translation is the only true cannon is something that I personally am conflicted on {wow the mentally ill genderfuck homestuck prefers a mailable and more flexible idea of what is “cannon” who would have known}]) <=(writing these parentheses sets made be realize I’m kinda just spinning a word salad over one specific gripe)

I also cannot view the Frye thread yet so perhaps there’s more of a thesis to it than Frye not being confirmed to be a vampire squid like them being some other species of squid but it seems like a stretch to include that as a “misconception.” Is your underlying argument is that no cephalings inherent traits from specific aquatic ancestors? Is this just to say the art books and interviews have nothing that directly confirm it? (All of that to say what was the reasoning for including it on the misconceptions list?)

Looking back at the list now those two specific ones are the only ones I’d like to know the reasoning for including (this was not well thought through before I started typing it) all of the other ones I definitely get including and have solid sources to back them up and are good to put out there as definitely not backed up by cannon. The list is over all very swaggy and a great resource I’d just like to hear expanded thoughts and reasoning behind these two being it.

The reason for the "splatfest law" inclusion is how often i'd see it brought up among fans, taken seriously, and incorporated into genuine theories about the future of splatoon's plot (i saw this in theories about splatoon 3's plot, and now i see it with side order).

if it's just a localization funny moment then the odds of it potentially having bearing on the plot/worldbuilding of a game made by japanese developers is next to zero. for people like me who put highest importance on the JP side and want to seriously speculate on and understand splatoon's canon, people want to know what is and isn't just a product of localization! funny thing, i was also a hardcore homestuck fan but i am Like this (obsessive over the established Lore) and have always been. i think its my brand of autism LOL Different pieces of media are going to have different standards to how they treat their canon. individuals will have their own standards to how much they want to adhere to that canon and how they define it. splatoon is looser in some places but parts of it less so once it becomes plot relevant. "splatfest law" is objectively funny and if you believe it based on how you perceive what is splatoon's canon i cannot and will not stop you. i personally choose to believe its not actually part of their legal system and something people will say in-universe as a joke. as for the frye thread you should read it before jumping to conclusions about what point i was making with it. I'll go and post it after this. What happened was that right after frye was revealed in the nintendo direct, someone made a thread speculating that frye was a vampire squid, with points of evidence being that she has fangs (all inklings have fangs and weve seen different shapes of them) and long ears (we've seen normal inklings with different shapes of ears), and then the rest of the "evidence" being based on stuff that was intended to be based on her connection to eels or indian culture. this thread blew up and soon after people were stating, with certainty, that frye was 100% intended to be a vampire squid. it is one thing to headcanon something, but its another thing to tout it as fact, which is what was happening.

[marina-the-witch]

SotE Spoilers (Just in case)

After finishing SotE a week or two ago and reflecting on the experience I wanted to share my issues with the DLC. I'll leave out if a boss frustrated me for whatever reason outside of my first point, as I feel like that will definitely improve with reruns or at least solidify my opinions, but it's not like a couple bad bosses are a major issue for me anyway. With that said, here's what bothers me about SotE: -Bad hitboxes and weird timings on some bosses, this definitely did not feel like something I just need to learn like e.g. Messmer's or Rellana's long combo strings. Gaius and the Golden Hippo were especially bad in the hitbox department, Putrescent Knight and Scadutree Avatar meanwhile had some REAL dodgy timings, and Radahn's cross slash feels entirely undodgeable. Bayle, while he is a favorite of mine, also definitely had timings I felt were really tight considering his HP, but I've been hearing a lot of people say he isn't as hard and his tight openings feel designed with Igon in mind so I imagine that will improve on reruns. -There really isn't much of a reason or incentive to explore for me, while the new cookbooks and spells are cool that's moreso questline or enemy drops, most overworld item pick-ups are just upgrade mats i can literally just buy and especially the amount of gloveworts bothers me, there's enough of them in basegame to max every wortwhile summon anyway and I personally don't use summons to begin with. -Adding to the previous point, there's a lot of stretches of land that just feel so empty, the most notable example are definitely the abyssal woods, an area you can't just run through really should have more in it in my opinion, but all the other overworld areas could use a lot more too. I also really don't get why the dungeons feel almost hidden away, but that's not a huge deal since they're at least all unique. -Scadutree blessing is a cool and interesting idea on paper, but for one I feel like 50 is a bit of a bloated value to collect all of them and their scaling is a bit op after the latest patch. That does kinda balance out though since it means I can collect like half of them and still be fine, but I still think the system is a bit messy. -The new selection of minibosses is pretty poor, Furnace Golems are ass, Death Knights and Ghostflame Dragons are cool at least, the rest is kind of boring and the amount of annoying NPC fights kinda bothers me (also the Gank Squad at the end is horrible)

-Some weapon classes still feel super undercooked. I honestly don't mind the new classes only having a small handful as it reduces the bloat of useless enemy drop weps you had in basegame and replaces them with solid infusable weapons, but whips, bows and etc actually feeling functional would have been nice With all that said I still love SotE and there's way more positives than these few negatives that i feel are more or less fairly objective. I have other personal gripes with the narrative and some other things but that's another can of worms.

[fagcrisis]

i read another bad YA book: when will my suffering end

my dear friend and long time training partner viki is obsessed with the arc of a scythe series by neal shusterman, and she forced me, literally at sword-point to read the first book. it seems that my fate is to forever read bad books about teenagers where nothing really happens

scythe takes place in a world where humanity has defeated death. nanotechnology allows people to stay young forever, or old forever if they so choose, and revives people from every kind of death if their corpse is recoverable. overpopulation becomes a problem though, as humanity cannot leave the planet, and so a special group of people called the Scythes are tasked with "collecting" people to keep the number of people down. scythe faraday chooses two teenagers, citra and rowan to be his apprentices, however there is a deadly challenge awaiting the two at the end of their apprenticeship. only one of them can become a scythe, and their first task will be to collect their fellow apprentice

*i read this book in hungarian so im translating a couple of things on the fly, if i mess anything up dont tell me i doubt any of you care about this book that much

THE WORLDBUILDING is bad. the initial concept is actually fascinating i can never get enough of a post scarcity society, and the way people grapple with a utopia. as a fan of ursula k le guin i think in many cases a real utopia and its ramifications can be a lot more interesting than a dystopic world, but you could have gone the giver route with this and revealed the rot at the core of a world pretending to be perfect.

well, scythe does absolutely none of that. despite the fact that everybody is LITERALLY IMMORTAL, people still work, mostly jobs they dont even like. children go to school and are raised by their birth parents, a man and a woman. gay people exist and so do sentient robots? but neither concepts really get explored deeper than a throwaway mention, and a joke. Now, i think it could be really interesting to explore a society thoroughly frozen in a 21st century late capitalistic state, but scythe does not do that. the book takes place hundreds, possibly even thousands of years into the future and Nothing Has Changed.

I have some lore based gripes with the book, the way the scythes and their reason for existing is just not explained at all, the offhanded genocide mention, and all that but in all fairness im yet to read the second book (i will have to viki is making me) so maybe they explain all of this then.

What really does bother me though, is why do death like this? People kill themselves for fun in the world of scythe, why not just let them die? scythes are explicitly forbidden from killing people who ask them to do so. this is a world where individiual choice has been completely taken away from people, except for a select group of a few hundred who have the absolute power of gods, and cannot even be controlled by the benevolent god-king-mother AI, the thunderhead. why not use the nanobots in peoples bodies to choose who lives or dies? why not limit the number of resurrections somebody can have? why let the scythes choose who they kill and how they kill them? why let them grant immunity to people?

I think much of this book is politically uninteresting and borderline stupid at points, especially the thunderhead. the way its completely unquestioned and thought to be benevolent and perfect above all else is just absolutely crazy, but lets run with it and say it does absolutely know what is best for humanity. why let people do the killing? maybe the second book will pull some insane twist on me that explains everything but i highly doubt it will

one note about the worldbuilding that annoyed me but isnt really significant: shit is just europe and america and whatnot with stupid fucking names. lazy as hell. if u just wanna keep shit as it is, do that. dont call things EuroScand or whatever. Also the racial dynamics are so bad in such an uninteresting way, like the book literally goes "race doesnt exist anymore everyone is like suuuper mixed except for this black dude who is evil and this mystical asian man. but everyone else. super racially ambigous"

THE CHARACTERS are bad also. rowan is so completely uninteresting i skimmed his chapters for lines where anybody else spoke, citra has a tiny bit more depth but not by a lot. their romance just so completely does not work, and listen. i am ready to accept that they were into dying for eachother after hanging out for like a month and kissing one time. i love unreasonable unstoppable romance. they had NO chemistry. they hated each other when they first met, for no reason at all, and then suddenly they were in love. barely spoken to each other for 2 months and then rowan is making a vow to die for her.

scythe faraday and scythe curie are much more interesting people, but scythe faraday goes away for 2/3rds of the book and curie isnt allowed to be anything interesting before citra basically ditches her. the fact they were involved doesnt come out of nowhere, but i would have appreciated a little more on that because it was way more interesting.... why arent the scythes allowed to date each other anyways. seems like an incredibly stupid rule. theyre immortal. theyre not jedi. yet another nonsensical worldbuilding detail

goddard and his crew were one dimensional and boring, it would have been great and interesting if he was actually charming and charismattic and succeeded in winning rowan over, but instead of that happening the book tells you that he is charming and charismatic while only shows him being awful and unpleasant. volta was kind of fun and interesting but his suicide didnt hit hard enough due to the fact that he and rowans friendship barely existed, neal shusterman is bad at writing character relationships jesus christ

THE PLOT AND WRITING were really fucking bad. virtually nothing happens for the majority of this book. citra fleeing the scytheguard should have taken up way more time than it did, as it was one of the only fun and engaging parts of the book. instead of that we get endless scenes of rowan seeing goddard be evil, citra walking around doing nothing and generally things not happening. way more time spent on training sequences than was strictly neccesary, and too little time spent on explaining anything that was happening or characters spending time together.

The chapters didnt flow extremely well, the pov switches were annoying and would happen multiple times on one pages, sometimes in the same paragraph. too many important worldbuilding details were glossed over in favour of scenes of rowans man pain or just kind of random irrelevant bullshit. there were a ton of characters who didnt really end up mattering, because the book was so badly spaced out. i would have loved spending a bit more time with scythe mandela for example who ended up mattering actually a ton for the final couple chapters, but no because rowan needs to be tortured again or something!

Every plot complication and twist was resolved instantly, leaving you no space to try and figure it out for yourself, no tension or anything. the ones that werent were so easy to figure out that it also left you with no tension. scythe faraday dead? no he isnt! citra is cornered by a scythe on the bullet train? dont worry, she has help from a random guy. even the ending was like this. will rowan die because citra was chosen to become a scythe instead of him? dont worry, she gives him immunity and this has no consequences for her whatsoever. they were talking about putting her in forever jail just 5 chapters ago, but its fine she is allowed to become a full fledged scythe. will they at least jail rowan until his immunity is up? dont worry, he is batman now and hes fled due to his perfect skills in everything he is so sexy you guys

VERDICT: dont read this book its bad. really bad. i will be back with the second one though, because viki is making me

@chevengurian ik u enjoy my sufferings here u go