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#llama man has arrived!
sirianasims · 7 months
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When Marten realised that it was my first time at GeekCon, he appointed himself my official tour guide.
I decided to let him. He was cute in a geeky way, and I missed having a nice boy pay attention to me. I hadn’t dated anyone since my ex Oscar went to uni, and the creepy DMs from random people definitely didn’t count.
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The first booth was a promotion for Dusk Glow 2: Moonrise. Marten ignored the two people dressed up as vampires and kept going.
“Not a fan of vampire romance?”
He waved a hand dismissively.
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“Nah, I mostly read serious fantasy, and this is a bit too much for me, you know? I want A Song of Hot and Cold, not Wands of Desire.”
I made a mental note to pick up a copy when Marten wasn’t around. I also decided not to mention that I owned all forty-three books in the Wands of Desire series and had pre-ordered the forty-fourth.
Suddenly, a booming voice rang through the gallery.
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“Stop right there, Black Shadow! What devilish scheme have you cooked up this time?”
At the next booth, someone dressed as Llama Man was pointing at me.
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“Ah, Llama Man, my arch-nemesis. You always were quick to spoil my fun.”
The man smirked under the mask.
“Typical. I should’ve known you’d try to crash the party.”
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I strode towards him, returning the smile.
“Oh, I intend to do more than crash it. What are you going to do about it, alpaca boy?”
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“We all know how this ends, Black Shadow! With you behind bars!”
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“Is that so? You’d have to catch me first!”
I blew him a kiss, and he smiled broadly and started walking around the table.
I quickly turned and ran.
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He sprinted after me as other con-goers turned and stared.
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“Fear not, citizens! Llama Man shall not rest until Black Shadow is brought to justice!”
A few people laughed and cheered, and I ran to the end wall and turned around.
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“Blasted! A dead end! You win this time, Llama Man!”
He came closer, laughing as he pulled off his mask.
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“You truly are a villain. Don’t make an old man run like that, I’m not quite in movie shape these days.”
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I was shocked for a moment. I thought he was just another cosplayer. Did I just make Paul Romeo himself chase me through the Casbah Gallery?
“You look great, I mean, you look in great shape to me. I mean…”
I blushed helplessly as he sent me a dazzling smile. Then he leaned in and lowered his voice, gently lifting my chin.
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“You know, sometimes heroes and villains have more in common than they realise.”
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My eyes flickered to his mouth, now so close I could feel his breath on my skin with every word. Silly costume or not, Paul Romeo definitely still had it.
He continued softly. “They are both driven by passion… by the thrill of the chase.”
Then he pulled back, a playful twinkle in his eyes.
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“Sadly, it seems fate had other plans for us, Black Shadow, and I don’t want to be another has-been actor who dates women half my age. Besides, I think your companion is getting impatient.”
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I had forgotten all about Marten.
He was staring at us, his face unreadable.
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Paul gave my hand a brief squeeze.
“Until we meet again, Black Shadow.”
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siribaes · 7 months
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IN OUR PAST LIVES ( Part 1 )
Dario Sepúlveda x blackfem!reader (OC — Nina Fuentes)
“During his quest to find Griselda, Dario reunites with an old friend in Miami—”
PARING: Friend/ “Former Client” to Lovers
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SUGGESTED TUNES💿: Mack the Knife (cover) by Tito Puente, La Plena Bomba Me Llama by Celia Cruz & Tito Puente, Yerbero Moderno by Celia Cruz, Abayarde by Tego Calderon, Una Noche Mas by Yasmin Levy
CONTENT: 18+ MDNI, SMUT, Cursing, Some racist language/ideologies (reference to La Perra Negra & the story takes place in late 1970s so you know, not the most foward-thinking of times), the main character is a sex worker, use of the Spanish language, star-crossed lovers-esque elements, references to death, drugs, trafficking, Cartel activities, or*l (fem & alluded to male receiving), f*ngering, praise k*nk, Fluff, Dario being lowkey a soft boy, *Unedited/Not Proofread
AUTHORS NOTE: uhmmm who else has seen alberto guerra in griselda??? 👀 it’s a great show highly recommend everyone go watch! alberto being shirtless is just an added bonus, so basically this is slightly AU-ish in this fic dario travels back to miami twice (i think i can’t remember lol) before “finding” griselda—full stop bc spoilers but yeah. the OC is a former sex worker, and Afro-Colombian/Latina (faceclaim is Yaya DaCosta <3), but yeah i hope y’all enjoy :) 💖
Medellín, Colombia - Spring 1976 (The Past)
The weather was in a particularly odd flux. For most of the day, heat raged on like an unrelenting wave, the weatherman reported scorching temperatures, a whopping, almost record breaking 101 degrees. Medellin quickly became a ghost-town, people sought refuge from the unbearable temperatures. The heat trickled its way into the evening, until around 9 or so, storm clouds suddenly swirled the sky, then, boom, a torrential downpour. The rain came down in violent pelts, hitting everything and anything insight. However, as quickly as the storm came, it went. The temperatures went down, the rain aided in crispness in the air. The wind swept through the streets and neighborhoods of Medellin, with coolness and airiness that was necessary, relieving.
Relief was exactly what Nina needed.
With the scorching temperatures, it brought a particular irritation with her clientele. It was like the hotter it became, the meaner they were. One of her regulars, Mr. Moneybags (an older gentleman, who happened to be very, very, generous with his wealth.), who was severely punctual and only wanted oral. He was never rude, impatient or rough with her. Until today. He was late, storming into her room, barking orders for her get on her knees, and when Nina finally did give him what he wanted, all Mr. Moneybags could ramble on about was high rough day at the office and he needed to tame "La Perra Negra". To make matters worse, when Mr. Moneybags orgasmed, he cummed on her shirt (a brand-new halter top, made of fine silk and in the prettiest shade of coral, it wasn't cheap, it cost her 78 pesos.) and in her hair (pillowy-soft coils as someone told her once). That was a complete, no, no.
Mr. Moneybags was the first of her clients to receive a verbal lashing, but he wasn't the last. As the hours rolled by, each man arriving acting more brutish and egregious than the last. Nina handed out her lashings with ease, all for her to be met with the same insult, fuck you, Perra Negra. The heat only fueled her rage, so much that the one customer, who had some semblance of decorum, went soft in her mouth. He quickly scurried out, offering a sympathetic smile, and promised that he'll come back next week, when she felt better.
So, when the storm came, Nina was more than relieved. She got some reprieve from her finnicky clients, even though her room was tucked away on the further corner of the brothel, the rain seemed to drown out the noise from the other end of the compound. She was able to soak her stresses away in her tub, light a candle or two, slip on her favorite mini-silk robe, and actually rest. The raindrops served as a lullaby from Nina as she drifted off to sleep.
Now, at 2 AM, Nina sat in a chair on her small balcony. She people-watched from her small corner, relishing in the cool breeze the generously fanned over her skin. She more than deserved this peace and stillness after the shit she had to deal with. After a while, Nina became engrossed in this older couple blocks away, were dancing in the middle of the street. She was so enraptured with the couple she didn't even hear the door creep open.
A familiar scent drifted through the air, a blend of cinnamon, tobacco, cardamom, and strangely mint. Nina couldn't help the smile the curled onto to her lips, as heavy footsteps inched closer and closer.
"You left the door open,"
Nina smirked. "What if I left it open for you,"
"Hm. That's unlike you,"
Nina turned around meeting those soft, russet-colored eyes, she cared to enjoy so much. She playfully batted her eye lashes.
"Oh, Dario, you mustn't forget, you are my favorite customer," Nina purred. She rose from her seated position, and unabashedly took in Dario's appearance.
He was meticulously dressed, he wore neatly ironed, black slacks with a coordinating black dress shirt. A few buttons were undone, revealing a sliver of warm-tawny skin, and the ink-colored edges of a tattoo. Nina wondered sometimes what the fully tattoo would look like, or better, would she ever get to see it.
From the first night they met, Nina gathered that Dario was someone who took pride in their appearance. He was never sloppy, not a flick of dirt or dust sullied his clothes or shoes. Thick, brown tresses were combed and quaffed with care, while he maintained neatly trimmed facial hair. Even the way Dario carried himself was equally irresistible, he possessed a poise and calmness that was developed, cultivated, even. He was careful with his words, never speaking out of turn or without thought. He charmed his way into people's hearts, both old and young alike.
Dario was a true debonair. It was the perfect distraction from what he truly was, a hit man. El Sicario.
"You look thirsty," Nina strutted past Dario to the small bar along the wall inside, "Would you like a drink?"
''Not tonight,"
Nina tsked, "Where's the fun in that? You can't just humor me, I've had a terrible day and--"
"Enough Nina," She paused to looked over her shoulder at him. His brows were furrowed, as looked intensely at Nina. After a beat, Nina turned a back around, pouring some tequila in a glass. She turned back around, gesturing for Dario to speak. "I'm looking for someone," Dario pulled a photo out of his front pocket.
"Aren't you always," Nina sassed. She couldn't help it, she was enjoying seeing Dario a bit peeved, it was so refreshing to see, even Dario, el sicario himself, could be annoyed.
He shows her the photo, "Vincent Fernandez, you know him?"
Nina scans the picture, taking in the face of the man.
"Yes and no," Dario's eyebrow quirks, "His real name is Vincent, but nobody calls him that. He goes by Chuy,"
"Okay...Chuy, have you seen him?"
"Yeah, a few weeks ago. He was coming out of Carmen's room...now that I think about it, she was leaving with him. She carried a suitcase too. Haven't seen her since,"
Immediately, Dario balled up the picture, flinging at the wall. He began to pace and back forth, his left handed raked through his hair, messing up that of that beautiful handiwork.
Something thrummed inside of Nina as she watched Dario slowly lose composure. Dario’s beautiful features were twisted with frustration, his jaw was clenched, and eyes were blazed. He stopped pacing and stood next to a small coffee table with vase that sat on top. With hesitation, Dario snatched the vase and launched it at the wall. Ceramic shards exploded on impact, pieces flew everywhere in the process.
"FUCK!"
"What the hell is your problem!?" Nina rushed over, she brushed past him, and picked up a broken piece of the vase, "Fuckin' pendejo, this was a gift from a friend," She was seething, gearing up to cuss him out to fullest extent but she paused. On one of the broken pieces with a red speck. Nina's eyes drifted towards the floor, seeing a trail of red spots, the spots grew larger and larger, until there was a small pool of blood underneath Dario's hand. "...You're bleeding,"
"What?" Dario one step but Nina quickly stopped him.
"Stop! Stop, it's getting all on the floor. Go to the bathroom and rinse the cut. When your done there's a first aid kit and a bottle of peroxide in cabinet, grab it, and sit on the couch," Dario just stood there a bit lost in his eyes, "Vete! Go, now!"
Dario disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Nina in the mess he created.
---
"This is going to sting so keep still," The two sat next to each other on the couch. In one hand, Nina gently cradled Dario's hand, his wounded palm facing up. The other hand held a cotton ball soaked in Hydrogen peroxide. She slowly inched the ball towards the cut, when it the skin, Dario instantly hissed, moving his hand slightly. Nina pressed again, trying to be a bit softer than before, but Dario jerked his hand away again. Nina swatted at his stomach. "Ay! Stop moving,"
Dario finally complied, relaxing against her touch, letting her clean the cut. A quietness fell over them as Nina worked in a comfortable rhythm of wiping and dabbing.
"I'll make sure to pay for the vase," Nina stopped, looking up at Dario. There was a sincerity in his eyes, and something else...embarrassment maybe? "The least I could do, since you put up with shit all the time..."
Nina bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from smiling, at Dario's gesture. She said nothing in return, but instead sat the used cotton balls to the side and reached for the roll of bandages. Nina couldn't make heads or tails of how she felt about Dario right. One part of her was agitated with him with how he broke her vase and how edgy he was being towards her all of the sudden. The other part of her was attracted to Dario, something about him losing control like that revved her engine. For once he wasn't so controlled and calculated, he was human, flaws and all.
"I know I'm not supposed to ask, but, why are you looking for Chuy?" Nina asked, slowly wrapped the bandages around Dario's hand.
To Nina's surprise, he answered. "He took something that didn't belong to him,"
"...Oh. Oh," Nina nodded realizing what Dario what he meant. Chuy had to have stolen a kilo or two of coke from them. Everyone in Medellin knew stealing from the Bravo family was a guaranteed death sentence. "Shit, I should've known..."
Dario shook his head. "It's not on you. The sneaky bastard managed to fool all of us, especially me,"
Nina chuckled nervously as she tucked the last strip of the bandage underneath a bottom layer.
"All finished," She slowly let go of Dario's hand to gather and put back her supplies, "I would give it a day before checking the cut to see if its healing. Just try to keep it your hands clean the best you can,"
Dario nodded. "Thank you,"
Nina smiled gently at him. She could feel his eyes on her as she bounced around and out of the room disposing of the trash and putting her supplies back. When she came back into the room, she found Dario relaxed against the couch looking outside. She followed his gaze up to the night sky. The normal starry, ink-colored sky was now filled with stormy clouds.
"It's going to rain again," Nina murmured, she returned to her spot next to Dario.
"How'd you figure?"
Nina pointed to the sky. "The clouds. Plus, the air is getting thick...y'know humidity,"
Dario laughed, flashing those gorgeous pearly whites, making Nina's heart skip a beat. He quickly quieted as a look of curiosity filled his expression.
"Where'd you learn to do that kind of stuff...like patch people up?"
"I guess I got tired of getting rug burns and bruises on my knees from giving head so much. It's bad for business,"
"That's fucked up,"
Nina shrugged. "It's a part of the job. I have to be perfect and presentable at all times. It's what sells the fantasy. So, I had to become my own doctor, learn how to patch myself up. I also learned, that if I was on my knees for too long, all the time, I wasn't doing my job correctly.
Dario tipped his head, scratching at his goatee, "Where the guys always that rough with you?"
"Someone is mighty curious tonight," Nina teased. She twirled a coil round her pointer finger, "but, to answer your question, no. Some tried to, but I was always on guard. I had to be, I'm the only black girl here...La Perra Negra. Before my regulars, most of the guys thought because I’m black, a morenita, that's I wanted. It took some threats and me pulling out my switch blade a couple of times, but they got the picture. Sometimes I feel bad for them...they’re so caught up in fucking me as a conquest, and not for their own pleasure. Typical men,"
Dario's brow quirked. "Typical?"
"You know what I mean. Most men when they have sex are either caught up in some ego thing, or only focus on pleasuring themselves they don't bother in pleasuring their partners, especially if the partner is a woman,"
"I suppose you're right,"
"You suppose? Do you feel the opposite?”
"Not entirely. You do have a point…I guess I’m not most men. I like pleasuring my woman,” Dario rasped. His pink tongue swiped at his bottom lip before continuing, “It turns me on to see her lose..composure ‘cause I’m fuckin’ her so good. I dunno it just gets me there. I could never get hard or cum without doing so,”
From the tops of Nina's ears all the way to the bottoms of her manicured toes, she ran hot. Her mind raced with flashes of images of her and Dario in the nastiest of scenarios. If she wasn't sure about being attracted to Dario, this solidified it. Despite her growing need to literally lunge herself at him, she pulled back. She needed to make him sweat.
"I guess there's some room for exceptions," Nina hummed, she readjusted herself, re-crossing her legs, make sure to give him a quick flash of her lacy panties. She secretly thanked her Orishas, when she saw Dario's eyes wander to her thighs.
"I had customer the other day," Nina continued, "Sweet guy, couldn't fuck to save his life, so I suggested get on top. I thought riding him would be better, but it wasn't. So, in a last-ditch effort, I closed my eyes and imagined it someone else..."
"Who did you imagine?"
"...You. I imagined you underneath me, fucking me. I fantasized about those beautiful brown eyes staring up at me. How it would feel to have your hands on me...all the things those hands could do. Like would you pull my hair, or grip my hips so hard that I would have bruises? Or, would you smack my ass while you stroked, deep inside me...even better would you hold my hands behind my back, while you played with my clit? Then, like magic, I came...I don't think I've cum so hard in my life—”
He cut her off with kiss. It was gentle and sweet. As Dario moved his lips, he gingerly swept his tongue against Nina’s lips savoring her taste. He snaked his arms around Nina’s waist, drawing her closer to him. A small whimper escaped Nina as Dario’s hands roamed her body. She felt her body hum with need as he rubbed and squeezed at her flesh. A smarting slap from Dario caused Nina to mewl breaking the kiss.
“Fuck! Dario,” Nina whined. She leaned her forehead against Dario’s. She pulled back to see Dario’s face fully, her heart rattled against her chest as she ran her fingers through his hair.
“Mi hermosa mariposa," Dario murmured, hands drifted up and down the sides of Nina's torso. She felt a wetness begin to pool beneath her, the more Dario caressed her.
“I want you,”
Dario smiled softly. “Yeah?”
“Mhm,” Nina nodded her hands reaching for Dario’s belt buckle, but he stopped her.
“It’s not about me tonight,” he hoisted her up, wrapping her legs around him as he carried Nina to bed. Dario dropped her softly down the plush sheets. “It’s all about you,”
Nina could tell from the serious yet lustful glint in his eyes that Dario meant every word he said. She sat up on her elbows watching as Dario’s nimble fingers undid the belt of her robe. He pushed the fabric, revealing nothing but soft curves, rich brown skin and lacy fabric. With his pointer finger, Dario traced Nina's collar bone, dragging it down her navel, leaving a trail of goosebumps the further down he went. Nina's breath hitched in her throat as Dario's thumbs rubbed soft circles on the skin above the waistband of her panties.
"I like the way your eyes light up when I touch you, solecita,"
"Please, Dario. Enough games,"
Dario chuckled. He held her hips in place, sinking down to his knees.
"Patience," Dario held his gaze as he inched his head closer to Nina's clothed pussy. The two moaned in unison when Dario licked a stripe at Nina's clothed entrance. He continued on licking, probing, and mouthing her pussy. Moans fell helplessly from Nina's lips as she felt the lacy fabric rub against her clit. Dario relentlessly moved his tongue, spurring Nina on, she felt slick dripping downwards on her thighs.
"More. I need more, baby, please,"
It was like switch went off in Dario. He stopped all movement, as he just stared at Nina. Long eyelashes fluttered as he slowly blinked.
"Baby...say that again," he murmured.
"Baby," Nina cooed. She sat up, reaching for Dario, she cupped his cheek. He nuzzled her cheek, placing a kiss on her palm.
Then like a flash, Dario ripped Nina's panties a part. He skillfully gathered the torn shreds and flung them away. He dove straight for Nina's pussy. Despite his meticulous nature, when it came to pleasure Dario was sloppy. There was no spot or area left unattended. His tongue alternating between swirling and lapping Nina's clit. Dario's pace was so unrelenting, it sent Nina's body into throws of pleasure. Just when she felt the familiar coil in her belly, Dario pulled back, only to blow cooly onto her drenched pussy.
"B-baby, fuck!" Nina yelped aloud, her hands found themselves back into Dario's hair, as he returned back to her core.
He placed a wet kiss, creating a lewd smacking noise that echoed into the air. Dario dove back in, plunging his expertly skilled tongue into her entrance, fucking her. Nina felt like her entire body was on fire, completely blazed with pleasure as Dario relentlessly fucked her pussy. Her mind swirled feeling the familiar coil in her stomach become tighter and tighter.
"I-I'm gonna cum. Oooh shit," Nina panted. She pulled tighter at Dario's hair. "I'm c-cuming, fuckkkk!"
The coil snapped. Nina shakily thrusted her hips towards Dario's mouth, riding out her orgasm. Dario stayed still softly lapping up her cum, he did keep gentle hand on Nina's waist to steady her.
"Mhmmm, so good to me, baby, s'good," Nina loosen her grip on Dario's tresses, letting her arms fall back onto the bed.
Dario hummed appreciatively before pressing soft kisses on Nina's inner thighs. Her fluttered when she saw the slick sheen of her nectar glistening in Dario's mustache and goatee.
"You like when I'm good to you?" Nina could feel his grip on her thighs get tighter as he spoke. When Nina nodded instead replying, Dario slapped her thigh. "Words, Nina, I wanna hear you,"
"Yes!"
"Good. You gonna be good for me this time?" Nina hissed when two of Dario's fingers found her clit, rubbing taut circles.
"Yessss, I'll be good for you, baby!"
He quickly switched his technique, he plunged his fingers into her wetness. Nina whined at the squelching and lewd noises that her pussy made as Dario stroked in and out of her. Dario bent down and gave Nina searing hot kiss, he wedged his tongue inside of Nina's mouth, allowing her to taste herself.
"Please don't stop,"
"I won't mi amor, I can feel you...you close?"
"So close, baby, please,"
Dario slowed his pace down, giving Nina slower strokes, but drove deeper, and deeper every time. Her walls fluttered around his fingers when they met her oh so sweet spot. Nina's orgasm came swiftly as a fast-moving freight train. Her mind went blank, as she screamed out in pleasure. Nina's legs jerked and spasmed as her nectar flowed out in endless droves. Dario slowly slipped his fingers out, kissing the side of Nina's face as she reveled in the planes of ecstasy.
The two fell back into the bed. Nina snuggled up close to Dario's side, her fingers still tingly, traced the ink of his half-covered up tattoo. She looked out to the balcony. It was raining.
"I think we knew each other in our past lives..." Dario trailed, he kept his eyes towards the ceiling as spoke.
"As what? Enemies?" Nina teased.
"No," He sighed deeply, turning to meet her eyes. His face was open, vulnerable, Nina felt her heart flutter. "We were...something to each other, I know it..."
For the second time this night a quietness fell over them. They stared wordlessly at one another, as the raindrops lightly pelted outside. Nina didn't know what to make of Dario's sudden confession, or revelation. She did know that the way he looked at her in this moment, made her feel all mushy and gooey inside. Nina leaned in capturing Dario's lips into a passionate kiss.
"You know what I know," Nina purred parting from Dario's lips. She straddled him, reaching for his belt buckle, this time Dario didn't stop her. "Reciprocity...Can I have some more, baby?"
"Yes. Mi amor, in every lifetime."
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yanderehsr · 10 months
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Last night, I had a dream where I was going to the store to do the groseries but once I arrived there I saw Andrew Tate(I f-ing hate that dude) having sexy time with a man(yes, in the first ile of the store) saying "men are way better than women because they are more sexy" then he saw a littl girl passing by (idk where her mom is ok?) and he threw her off the window. Then, Andrew became a bunch of squirreles that decided to attack me and while they were on my face I was panicing ofc and tried to take them off and the next thing I know one if the squireles has transformd into Hittler and another into Joe Biden and they were mad that I hit them (they atacked first but oh well) and threw an alpaca llama at me that spat in my eyes. While I tried to take that saliva out of my eyes I suddently woke up in the comcert of bts and it got hit by a bomb. Apparently I have started ww3. Then, my bf(I dont have bf but uk, dream logic means I have one apparently💀) took me by my hand to a safe place (a buncer that was comvintly under lidl) and there we have staid hidden for a few days untill he told me one morning to come with him to show me smth. I folowed him and he took me to a bridge where he told me he told me he is gonna sell me to some trolls to end ww3(logic💀) and then the troll hit me with a pan in the head and I woke up.
Imagine yandere being woken up by reader to tell yandere this dream in the dead of the night and be mad at yandere bc they got sold bc of yandere(yan is in place of the bf).
Like- ITS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT😭
Ok, what the hell was that dream, that right there was like an soap opera with all the twists🤣
I think Itto, Bennett, Sampo and Sushang is the type to ask for forgiveness, they probably don't know what they did wrong. All they know is that you are mad so they apologize
Then we have Silver Wolf, Blade, Wanderer and Ningguang that actually gets mad at you, did you really think they would ever do that to you, you woke them up in the middle of the night for something so foolish, you will get punished, hope it was worth it doubting their loyalty.
We have Albedo, Alhaitham, Dan Heng and Kafka who will ignore you and go back to sleep, they aint getting up at this time for such a dumb reason, they will go back to sleep no matter how mad you are at them, they can deal with you in the morning.
Lastly we have Furina, Yoimiya, Himeko and March 7th who pulls you into their bed, they think that if they are there then you will be protected from the nightmares, they hold you in an irongrip until they wake up again.
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t1oui · 3 months
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hi everybody i'm having some thoughts right now and i need to share them. mentions of walburga black's a+ parenting in this fic idea so do be aware of that
what if regulus's parents send him to "conversion camp" after he comes out as trans but the conversion camp actually turns out to be a safe house for queer kids run by effie and monty that's masking as a conversion camp so homophobic parents send their kids there.
so reg arrives dressed up in a nice dress and with walburga aggressively using she/her pronouns and his deadname and the second she leaves effie is like "well that sucked, why don't we get you some more comfortable clothes and you can tell me your actual name?" and regulus is like oh. oh this is the best thing that's ever happened to me and my parents are idiots
i'm envisioning that the place is a farm and so the only rules for kids at the safe house are 1. be nice to each other and 2. find something to spend your time on every day that's not just a device (it doesn't have to be farm related) (this is a muggle au if you couldn't tell)
and ofc because it's effie and monty's place james is there and he likes helping out on the farm. reg takes one look at him and is like yeah ik i was gay but this man confirms it
that's all i have rn as far as plot and story (i mean james and reg fall in love obviously but other than that idk) so here's intros to the cast of characters and their roles in the story !! (this is my favorite part):
james potter (18) - he/him pansexual (+ maybe ace) - son of effie and monty - helps out on the farm
regulus black (17) - he/him gay & transmasc - sent there after coming out as trans (or just after walburga finds out bc let's be real he probably knew not to tell her) - currently trying to figure out his hobby
sirius black (18) - he/him gay - knew james in school, came here after fight w/ parents when he was 16 - makes art
remus lupin (19) - he/they bisexual & transmasc - father disowned him and his mother, with the best of intentions, sent him to the farm when he was 16 in hopes that his father would reconsider cutting him off - works in the garden/greenhouses, helps with the bees
barty crouch jr (17) - he/him bisexual demiromantic + hypersexual - sent there at 15 by his father after some scandal with another politician's son - makes pottery, some of which he sells at the farmer's market every saturday
emmeline vance (19) - she/her queer - sent at 17 by her parents after they caught her with a girl - works in the orchard & cooks
marlene mckinnon (18) - she/her lesbian - lives down the road and comes by to help james
lily evans (18) - she/her lesbian - sent at 15 by her sister after her parents died and petunia got custody of her - makes her own clothes and sells them at the market
mary macdonald (18) - she/her bisexual - adopted by the potters at 13 after her parents died in a car accident - looks after the goats and llamas & helps with the horses
pandora rosier (18) - she/her pansexual transfem - sent at 17 after her parents found out she was trans - works w the horses
evan rosier (18) - he/they biromantic asexual & bigender - sent at 17 after their parents caught them wearing "girl clothes" - writes + draws, helps rem with the bees
dorcas meadowes (17) - she/her lesbian - sent at 17 (a few months before reg) after her parents caught her watching... adult content of two women - makes & sells bouquets, effie helps her <3
peter pettigrew (18) - he/him aromantic (NOT ace) - marlene's next door neighbor, has had sex with barty multiple times and these two fuck in the WEIRDEST spots (poor james keeps catching them :')) - helps emmeline in the orchard
severus snape (17) - he/him bisexual transmasc - sent by his father at 14 after starting to present as a boy - cooks, helps lily with her clothes making sometimes, writes sad boy poetry (/half joking)
narcissa, alice, and xeno will also be in the story i'm just not sure exactly where they fit in... xeno's another neighbor and narcissa's a former safehouse resident who's now living w alice but that's all i know rn
now as for SHIPS...
so i know there will be jegulus of course, and since sirius is totally going to pine for gardener/beekeeper remus wolfstar too. i want rosekiller, but because of barty and peter's dynamic, i'm thinking romantic rosekiller w/ sexual party and queerplatonic... peter x evan (idk their ship name 😭)
as for the GIRLS... omg i have so many thoughts guys AAAAA
first of all i cant decide between pandalily and dorlily for lily and i don't want a triad (i don't ship panda x dorcas) and i don't want both so that's... rough
and then there's also marylene.... BUT DORLENE-
i wanna put sev with someone (ik he's not a girl but i'm having thoughts for him rn)... maybe he smooches w emmeline?? but i feel like she'd make fun of him 💀 (in a joking way but yk)
or maybe emmeline could go with mary panda with lily dorcas with marlene... and... sev with xeno?? guys am i a genius
so yeah other than jegulus, wolfstar, and partyvan idk what to do. live laugh love multishipping am i right
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berrypass-de-murdler · 2 months
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59. I Yacht to Kill You for This
For one I love this title so much
And this episode is WAY, WAY too long because of how much needless book-trio lore there is
So I hope you enjoy this needlessly detailed filler episode
Featuring CHOONKERS
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(I love him so much help me)
DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!
The Bookers are on Chalk’s yacht. Ink is writing, Bookie is pacing, and Ivory is there. Chalk has a new scar on his nose from… something. Everyone looks distressed.
CHALK: I’m going to call over Logico. GAINSBORO: NO, NO, NOT THE LOGICO! INK: Calm down. He never did anything to you. GAINSBORO: HE stole a bookie from me :’< CHALK: His book isn’t selling very well, we need to find ideas to raise-
Ink types faster and harder.
CHALK: [looms] Are you doing- INK: Yeah. Logico’s books aren’t selling. Now I’m going to bribe him with my fancy boat so he does more shit and makes me more money. CHALK: ?? IVORY: [scoff] Ya, girl. INK: That’s all you care about isn’t it? The stupid fucking books? Everything’s just a publicity stunt to you!!  CHALK: Jobs- INK: DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A PUBLICITY STUNT?
She yeets a typewriter at him, but he jumps out of the way and it almost hits Bookie, who is traumatized.
IVORY: What the fuck did you do that for, bitch??
Ivory shoves Ink off the boat, but Chalk catches her. Bookie is a shaking mess of Gainsboro.
GAINSBORO: If you let her back on this boat I will kill you.
He fucking means it, too.
CHALK: I am very sorry.
He lets go.
IVORY: OH MY GOD!!!
Ive grabs a sharp piece of metal and stabs at Chalk a few times, before Bookie gets in her face and tries to slam his wings on her head. Lightning strikes as they cry out to the sky.
Logico FINALLY arrives, and by then someone’s dead. NOT ONE OF THE CHARACTERS, just some freak in the dining room. He sees a frazzled Bookie and a pouting Ivory. Ink is clutching onto the side of the boat, and a bloodied Chalk ‘greets’ the man.
LOGICO: What did you want me for. CHALK: Books, Logico. YOUR BOOK. LOGICO: I don’t care- CHALK: It’s not doing well, as is EVIDENT. If only we had some way of gaining publicity. Oh! One of my sailors was murdered! You could solve THAT.
The grumpy llama storms off. Ink blots into the water.
INK: [anger sounds] GROSS… LOGICO: I will rescue you.
Logico uses a fishing rod to bring her back up.
IVORY: Ugh, fr? INK: Thank you, Logico. I’m so sorry about all this.
Poor baby Bookie is sobbing.
LOGICO: What. GAINSBORO: I WON’T DO WHAT THEY MAKE ME DO, THEY’LL NEVER!
Chalk is sad looking at the precious booker. His (ancient) phone rings.
LAVENDER: CHALK DEARIE. IT’S LAVENDER. 
Chalkers’ hand shakes and he drops the phone, because he doesn’t want to do this right now.
LAVENDER: CHALK. HELLO? CHALK. CHAIRMAN. WHERE ARE YOU?? PICK UP THE PHONE, YOU IDIOT! HELLO!!!
The boi looks over the edge of the boat with the most solemnity.
LOGICO: What did you even want with me. CHALK: OH, I- YOU?? YOU THINK- OHO- I- THIS IS ABOUT YOU?? I DON’T K- 
He motions to spit on the short king like an actual llama, but covers his mouth and sobs. Logico is distracted by marot cards… just like he would be at a time like this.
He knows who did it. In the stupid fight, Chalk threw his golden pen and it somehow got wedged into a guy. The four book people look at the corpse and think… what am I doing with my life? 
CHALK: I’m so sorry… INK: …I guess I am too. IVORY: Yeah, and like, whatever, I guess.
Bookie just wants his llama boi. Any other day, Logico’s cold, unbeaten heart would be warmed by the sight, but no. Ink pulls him into a hug.
CHALK: About the books… LOGICO: I don’t care about the BOOKS.  CHALK: What do you care about, Deductive? LOGICO: HIIIIIIIM. CHALK: Oh, that would actually be great for sales… If you got bloody revenge on the guy who killed your friend… Never mind, I’ll deal with this. LOGICO: HE WAS MORE THAN A FRIEND.
Chalk gasps like a choking pigeon. He leans in.
CHALK: [whispering] F-for sales, it’s better if he’s just a friend - the last time I tried to publish a gay book I got-
Logico shuts his mouth.
The end!
Ink's theme :3 I love her so much. She's such a pure, genuine person.
Fletch helped a lot with the intro to this episode, so credit to her too <3
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The power of Goat Lord compels you!
See you next time murdlers!
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luvly-writer · 2 years
Text
“You are my sunshine”
Part 28: In chaos, we love
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Jason Todd x Latina! Reader
Social Media Au
Warning: creepy men, domestic violence, guns, violence
Status: Finished
Author’s note: another written part, lETS GOOO
Taglist: @lorosette @milas-teapot @alecmores @addictedtothefictionalworld @izukuisbaby @graywrites5567 @unofficial-jaytodd-wife @randobeetlehouse @writing-for-the-hell-of-it
Series Masterlist:
——————————————-
You could feel your chest tightening with every passing second. The panic rising little by little, suffocation you in the process. You thought the years on theraphy would have helped ease it and yet here you were, seconds away from a panic attack because of a few gun shots
Your head feels light and one gun shut more sounds and your head starts to ring. Big ass tears are running down your face and suddenly you are taken back.
A few years back:
Place: Ln residence in Puerto Rico
A young girl was in her room headphones blasting trying to drown out the sound of her fighting parent. Every day seemed like it was getting worst and she wondered when her mom would finally have enough and take them away from him…BAM! Even if she tried not to, she heard the shot and the scream that followed, he was always violent, on various occasions hitting her mom and her whenever they had escaped to her grandmas house or done something he wouldn’t particularly like, and made various threats with his guns but she never thought he would actually follow through one day. She took her phone and called her neighbor, a lovely woman that always gave her a safe space when it got bad.
“Mi niña! Escuche el tiro, están bien!?!?” Doña Santina asked full of worry
“No se doñita, yo estoy arriba, pero escuche a mi mamá gritar, llama a la policia por favor!” The girl cried out, her little heart beating a mile a second,
“No te preocupes mi princesa, mi esposo está en esas ahora, voy a llamar a tu abuelita ahora, hazme el favor y pon el teléfono a grabar por que uno nunca sabe” Doña Santina responded and hung up.
The girl put her phone on recording and placed it on her back pocket. She opened her door and rushed down the stairs. There she saw her mother in the floor, thankfully not bleeding and her father on the living room standing with the gun in his hand.
“ESO TE ENSEÑA JODIA HIJUEPUTA A CORRER A DONDE TU MAI OTRA VEZ!” Her father screamed at her mom
The girl grabbed a bat that was near and swung at him, successfully knocking to gun out of his hand.
“El hijueputa eres tú, maldito desgraciado” spat her mother out standing up and pulling the young girl towards her
“Y está malparida que se cree, te crees grande? Te crees fuertesita con el bate?” He asked, trying to intimidate her
The child just held the bat defensively towards him and glared. She prayed that the cops would be here soon.
“Debí matarte y deshacerme de ti cuando pude, jodio estorbo de mierda! LO ÚNICO QUE HAS HECHO ES ARRUINAR NUESTRAS JODIAS VIDAS!” The man yelled trying to catch the kid but the kid kept on swinging, not giving him a chance to.
Finally the cops had arrived, the red and blue lights flashing
Taking advantage that the child was distracted, the man grabbed the gun and the kid, holding her by the neck and pointed the gun at the mother who in return grabbed the bat and pointed at him. The cops bust down the door and point their guns to the man. One of them pulls the woman aside and shields her with his body
“DISPARA Y SE JODE LA NIÑIA” he screams placing the gun to the girls temple
“NO” screamed the mother, still being held by the cops, who were being careful of not agitating the man and loosing the young girls life.
The poor girl was in hysterics, every passing second it became harder for her to breathe because the man started to squeeze her by the neck, making sure to leave a mark.
It all went so quickly, a tranquilizer dart shot out from behind, successfully knocking the man out, dropping the girl who in return ran to her mother’s arms and bawled her eyes out. Both were ushered outside and lead to their family members who were waiting for them. The girl’s grandmother held them and her uncles stood in front of them as they took the son of a bitch and placed him in the cop car. The following weeks were filled with procedures and judges, who used the audio and the testimonies of both family and friends, and successfully placed her father behind bars.
BOOM BOOM BOOM
YN is snapped out of her thoughts when loud banging is heard on the door, loud banging she knew damn well was not Jason. She ran to one of the stalls and locked it, grabbing her dress and climbing on top of the toilet. She laced her hand on her mouth to muffle her cries (she didn’t even know when she started crying). And prayed that they’d leave. Unfortunately, they must have heard the ruckus and kicked the door open, searching in all the stalls till they got to hers. They kicked the door open and there she saw, three of Falcone’s men staring back at her. She knew the way that they were looking up and down at her and smirking meant nothing good. One of the grabbed her arm tightly and pull her closer to him, fucking hell she KNEW they way they were eyeing her body truly meant nothing too…
“SUÉLTAME PUÑETA” she said harshly and they just smirked at her
“Oh boss is gon’ like this one” one of the smirked and they started tugging her out of the bathroom. While they were walking back, one took her hands and tied them behind her back. They finally arrive to see the one and only Carmine Falcone speaking with Batman, Red Hood and Robin at once. Chaos had taken over the ballroom.
“Looky here boss! Look at the fine specimen we have here, and feisty too” said one of the goons proudly showing YN to Falcone. Falcone raised an amused eyebrow and began walking towards them, eyeing the girl with a predatory gaze. “We found ‘er hidden in one of the bathrooms”
The second Jason saw who was that they dragged in, his heart dropped, he felt as if it stopped beating a second time. He turned to look at Damian and Bruce, who both sported very tense shoulders.
They had been divided. Dick and Tim left to scout the area and get rid of the goons on the outside, Steph, Cass, and Duke stayed with the rest in order to not raise that much suspicion on where the Wayne’s had gone and would create a distraction for them to fight. Damian, Bruce and him had stayed at the ballroom and were in the middle of finishing his goons off when Falcone entered. He began a speech on how insulted he felt by the lack of invite and how it was time that Gotham remembered what fear tasted like again. That no one was free from it even with the Bat roaming around. And that was when they entered with her tied up. YN looked almost impecable except for her tear stained makeup and her hair that had gotten slightly messy by her trashing around. Jason could feel the rise in anger when he saw the way those men looked at his girl and he felt almost nauseous when Falcone focused his entire attention on her. The hunger and lust in his eyes was hard to ignore. Jason was about to walk towards there when he felt B place his hand on his shoulders. “Not now, Hood, we could be compromising her safety with one wrong move” he whispered and Jason backed down a little yet still stayed heavily on guard.
“My my, you have quite the looker in here. Why would anyone hide such a pretty thing like yourself?” Falcon said once he was close enough and he held your face by your chin inspecting you closely.
“Suéltame, cabron” YN hissed out glaring at him, and Falcone laughed
“An exotic catch ain’t she boss? Probably one of them immigrants too!” Said one of the goons and both Jason and Falcone glared at him
“Hush you, more respect to our prize will ya! Although,” he pulled you towards him and out of the goons hands, placing a hand on your waist and pulling you close, “you are quite feisty, do you know English, pet?” He said still inspecting you and gave you a handkerchief for you to wipe your face. Still with your hands tied, you take it and clean under your eyes. You consider moving away but the tight grip he has on your waist doesn’t falter.
Jason was seething. What could anyone do when the light of your life, the reason your heart beats, is in the hands of one of Gotham’s most dangerous men? Not only that, she was getting treated as a trophy in display, a thing. He could sense Damian raging on his side. Eyes narrowed and fist tightly closed. He heard on the comns that Dick and Tim had finished outside and were on their way to the ballroom. Not long after, both Nightwing and Red Robin bust through the window. Falcone pulled YN closer and pointed a gun to the new intruders. Seeing YN in the arms of the man made them stop dead on their tracks, they had family on the line of fire and directly on danger.
“As I was saying, before I was o so rudely interrupted, do you speak English, or will I have to teach you? Carried on Falcone and kissed her shoulder, making YN contort her face in disgust, comfort long gone. Jason had had it.
“Leave the girl alone, the issue is with us! No need to harm civilians!” Jason said, his anger making the voice changer turn his voice deeper that it normally was.
“Or what Hood? She’s not important…why should I?” Responded Falcone, with a knowing look. “What if I make a deal with you, Bats? I’ll take the girl, and you get my leave without a fight? Hmm? What d’ya think? I do need another pretty pet for my collection..”
Hearing that Damian turned alarmed to his father, “Batman, you CANT AGREE TO THAT!” he said sternly. Causing Both Tim and Dick to nod in agreement.
“No, Falcone. This ends now!”
“Hmmmm, does it? Why is the little bird so worried about a RANDOM civilian? Oh wait, this IS NO random civilian, if not the Wayne’s. We conquest! How silly of me. Well bird, how far do you think mister big bucks will go to get you back?” Falcon said with catlike grin as he squeezed YN closer. She tried to move back but his strength was overpower hers. “You know, whatever price they paid for you, I can double it plus a few nights of satisfaction, I can make you Gotham’s richest whore” he finished.
Falcone wasn’t stupid. He knew the effect she was having on Red Hood and each passing moment was more of a chance to press his buttons until he snapped. He may have not known what exactly was the connection, but there WAS a connection, and if he could only get him to bend the knee to him and turn his back on Batma-
“I. Said. Step. The. Fuck. Away. From. Her” hissed Red Hood through tight teeth and that’s when hell broke loose.
It is known that Red Hood has always been an excellent marksman, yet today, he was impeccable. Yes, he may have been using rubber bullets thanks to Bruce, but fuck if he cares! When his girl’s life is on the line, even those can be deadly. He had the three men behind Falcone on the floor in mere second and anyone who came close as well. Damian followed in his lead, trying to get closer to YN in order to free her, his patience no longer intact. Bruce, Dick and Tim made sure to fight of the rest. Finally, Damian got close enough and sliced the gun in Falcone’s hand in half, leaving him without a loaded weapon. Too busy with Damian, Falcone failed to notice Red Hood behind, until he saw his shadow and one calculated punch later he was on the floor and YN was free. A little out of lightheaded because of the tight grip Falcone had on her, YN leaned against Red Hood unintentionally, to which he cut through the restraints, picked her up bridal style, and booked it, leaving the fighting and cleaning up to Batman and the rest.
YN held unto him, and said “to the left, there are two escape rooms, one that’s probably filled with the rest and another down the hall”
When they got to the door, he let her down and Yn inserted a code she knew by heart and both entered. Jason would be damned if he left her alone again, the others could manage.
There it looked like a refreshment room, it had a few sofas, chairs and tables.
Yn paced back and forth filled with anxiety and Jason just stared at her, his back to the door.
“Ay puñeta, ay puñeta, ay puñeta, que hago ahora? Estoy sola, no se donde está nadie, perdí mi cel en el intento, no puedo llamar a Nola ni a mami ni a Jason…Jason!!!! You, Hood! You need to get back there! The Wayne’s. They are missing! You have to go and check, look for them make sure they are all safe, from Damian to Bruce to most importantly Jason, please please find them, why are you just STANDING THERE GO ON FIND THEM!!!!!” She screamed hysterically and grabbed him by his jacket.
“They are okay, specialy Jason, they are fine” he tried to reassure her but she wasn’t convinced
“No! Listen, their lives are worth million times more than mine, you should go and look for them, make sure they are safe, make sure Jason is safe please, you can leave for a moment then come back but just make sure Jason is safe!” She insisted and Jason’s heart tightened. Firstly because of her accusation that his life was worth more than hers and second because of her worry for him.
She kept on rambling, to the point where it wasn’t even understandable to him because of the speed and the fact that she was changing between Spanish and English.
He took her face in his hands and made her look at him, shutting her up for a moment.
Understanding that his helmet could be a little overwhelming after seeing her flinch a little, he took it off, going with it his gloves as well and took her face once again, “it’s fine, preciosa, ,it’s fine, they are okay, he is okay”
Hearing the term on endearment, YN looked up at him. He was only wearing his black eye mask and a spark of recognition lit up inside of her. The memory of the masquerade ball coming to mind, to be more specific, the memory of Jason with his silver mask came to mind. Her breathing started to slow down and she took his face in her hands. Finally, she whispered shakily “…Jay?”
___________________________________
<3
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Facts about the mama witch au, but with the empires. Before everyone else comes.
●some empires where there for longer, these empires being Scott, lizzie, Katherine, Gem, Fwhip, and sausage
●then in comes Shelby who just graduated from Witch school and came here to relax and help the empires with magic
●she does, in fact, not relax. She gets like a week of relaxation before she finds two children, meets a princess, gets roped into a date with said princess(she's not complaining), and meets everyone else, then become the official girlfriend to said princess and mom to said children
●not through likez adoption or anything but they call ehr mom so-
●8 months afetr shelby arrives to the evermoore, everyone else comes. For different reasons of course.
●like I said before, the tiwns will randomly set fires and pretend to do sacrificial offerings....only for them to turn real and be sent to Joel or sausages church or to Gems church
●Joel's the most terrified, cause he doesn't knwo the kids, the other two are just like "ah, I see the twins started do their sacrifices with Teddy bears and nightlighta again!"
●Shelby has that mom stare, even Joey feels oddly disappointed in himself after she uses it in him. He doesn't dwell on it long.
●you knwo that crazy dad meme? The one with one dad cuddling his kid and the other throwing his one oevr his shoudler?
●that's just Shelby and Lizzie with Hermes. Shelby is doing the more calm stuff and having his help with projects or doing projects with him. Lizzie is the oen taking him on top of trees and jumping down off them even fi their 50 feet high!-
●As much as Shelby loves Lizzie, shes not letting her babysit False or Oli...not yet anyways
●oh! Lizzie and Shelby are like sisters in thise au, same with Gem and Kath. Not because their related tho. Shelby and Lizzie can relate with how these hidden themselves due to fear and Gema dn Katherine can relate witht he duties of being a princess
●Gem and the kids regularly have tea parties. She's the primary babysitter
●when shelby and Katherine get married, Gem and Lizzie are the best women respectively, and sausage is Shekbys best man. Scott officiated them, the twins and Hermes got to be the flower kids
●False wears a tux, Oli and Hermes wear dresses. It was a plot they planned acuse none of the adults expected the kids to dress up fancy
●Owen is introduced to the family by Scott dropping him off at Shelbys doorstep
●don't worry, Shelby told him too. She refused to take away his consciousness and instead told Scott to drop the Llama boy off with her
●Katherine feels like she blinked and Shelby suddenly got another child, this one's 13 "huh....I thought we had...2 kids?-" "it's 3 now :)" "....yeah okay, why not? 😑"
●don't worry, Shelby did send a message Katherine's way to ask if she'd mind housing another kid, at what's for now. Kath just wasn't expecting it so it took awhile to process what Shelby meant
●....magic nature wives baby, anyone? :3
●Shelby reads the wrong spell, trying to find out what Kaths curse even is, and she's using a bit if Katherine's blood to see if it's in her dna.
●she ends up acting a pregnancy spell.
●yes I will elaborate. If someone asks me hehehehe ;3
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coreene-simblr · 8 months
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Smith [1]
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We start their round with the two of these guys boning
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Meanwhile kids are talking about soup
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Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Just kiss him through the wall
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They are trying to drown the sound of their parents smooching
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I just took Johnny out. He has a few days as a teen so let's meet people
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He has 3 bolts with Aurelia xD
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This feud man xD
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I swear Aurelia is always in this arcade
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Yeah, I noogie the people I'm super attracted to as well
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He seems to be getting along with Angela too
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Meanwhile at home the deadly welcome wagon has arrived
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Wow, this is a picture I thought I'd never see xD
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This has turned into quite the party
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Oh look Don is here. He heard free food and just came in
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Kristen is as we left her. Doing every platonic action with hot dudes
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I needed her out of the way so I sent her to play golf xD
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jfc they are such horndogs
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Things have calmed down a little bit next day
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Pt had a wish to throw a party so I did
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Angela is here too
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Shit talking Tank xD
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He doesn't have a lot of chemistry with Ophelia as it stands and no wants for her. I called her over once too and they didn't interact
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Don't know what a Sherpa is so examine the llama
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oops
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You got demoted. Wtf are you making a fuss for? You want a medal?
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Looks like she got the reward she was crying for xD
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Hello beloved readers! Scrolling through my writing tag whenever I want to reference something is, uh...no longer feasible unless it's really recent. Solution? Masterpost! :D (MCYT fics only though, because my YYH stuff is from 5+ years ago and I don't expect I'll be free of this blockman brainrot anytime soon.)
In Progress
The Canary In The Gold Mine - series masterpost }{ Empires S2 }{ Flower Fwhimmy }{ When Scott is arrested for theft and left languishing in a Gobland prison cage, he finds a beam of hope in a little yellow bird. Over time, he finds even more in the arms of his canary and their goblin king. }{
Complete
Strawberry Wine - series masterpost }{ Empires S2 }{ Flower Husbands }{ There was something about summer on the savanna that Jimmy found nostalgic... Once, a young farmboy fell in love with a vibrant traveler. Years later, a proud sheriff fell in love with a colorful king. Or he would have, if he had ever fallen out of love with him in the first place. }{
Untitled Scarian - Tumblr }{ Hermitcraft S9 }{ Scarian }{ Scar’s elf ears twitched whenever the corners of his eyes crinkled in amusement, Grian noticed. And he was certainly amused at the moment, perched on Grian’s lap as much as his long limbs would allow, knees pressed into the cushion and hands on Grian’s shoulders, watching a blush bloom across his target’s face. }{
Wildflowers and Roses - Tumblr | AO3 }{ Empires S2 }{ Flower Husbands }{ There were so many things Scott loved. He loved silk sheets and pretty clothes and delicious food. He loved his kingdom and his people and his flowers and his llamas. He loved adventure and wit and new experiences. He loved sitting in the warm sun to weave flower crowns on a lazy day. But there was one thing he loved above all else, one thing sweeter and warmer than any other experience he'd ever had. One thing existed that he treasured more greatly than any shiny or rare trinket in his extensive collection. }{
Party Games - Tumblr | AO3 }{ Empires S2 }{ Flower Husbands }{ Jimmy goes to the princess party hoping to make an impression on Scott. He succeeds, just maybe not in the way he hoped. }{
Muscle Memory - Tumblr: }{ one }{ two }{ three }{ }{ Plate Up }{ Tango, Jimmy, & Skizz }{ Jimmy has some bad habits developed after years of repetition. Tango and Skizz are determined to break them. }{ *Continuation depends on future PlateUp streams }{
Dream Of The Devil And He Shall Appear - AO3 | Tumblr: }{ one }{ two }{ three }{ four }{ five }{ six }{ }{ Pirates SMP }{ Majorwood }{ When Scott dreams, he dreams of a sea he's never seen and a man who feels like home. }{ *will possibly be resumed or reworked at a future date }{
Untitled Flower Husbands - Tumblr }{ Empires S1 }{ Flower Husbands }{ Jimmy dreams about a tree. }{
Who Are You? Are You Nobody, Too? - Tumblr }{ 3rd Life SMP }{ Flower Husbands }{ Thrown into a strange game with no memories of their lives before, Jimmy and Scott find comfort in a quiet valley and in each other. }{
On Hiatus
We Can Be Just As Close (If I Am Far Away) - series masterpost }{ Hermitcraft S9 and Life Series }{ Scarian }{ By the time Grian fell from the clifftop at the end of 3rd Life, he'd already fallen for Scar. But when it becomes clear that the death games are going to keep happening, he can't stand the thought of being the cause of Scar's death again. And if keeping Scar safe means keeping his distance, he'll do it, no matter how much it hurts both of them. }{
Bare-Faced In Front Of You - AO3 | Tumblr: }{ one }{ two }{ three }{ }{ Hermitcraft }{ Convex }{ There were a thousand Scars, and Cub loved every single one of them. A collection of ConVex snippets written for CubScar Week. }{
A Fool's Errand - AO3 }{ Hermitcraft }{ Convex }{ All his life, Cub has felt like there is something he should be seeking out, and he hopes to find it in a little town on the edge of a dark oak forest. The moment he arrives, he's warned against falling for Scar's scams and sales pitches - and warned that if he wants to court the charismatic elf, he'll have to catch a certain cat and retrieve the key around its neck. }{
Untitled Flower Husbands - Tumblr }{ Life Series }{ Flower Husbands }{ Scott loved the way Jimmy loved. Fiery, passionate, red-hot love. It was beautiful, intoxicating, magical - And magic can always be broken. }{
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jsbsam · 11 months
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When is a Llama not a Llama?
For you regular followers of my twaddle you will remember that MM has had good reason to give me grief over my mistakes regarding national monuments in the past. Who could forget my inability to distinguish between a Temple and a Palace in Bangkok or, even worse, a priceless Japanese Bridge and roadworks in Hoi An in Vietnam. On this occasion I'm happy to report that the cock up is not mine for a change. But more of that later.
Today we visited the old town of Lima with our guide, Mabel - a good Inca name I thought! It turned out that we had her all to ourselves. She said it was because it's early in the season and we were her only bookings. I think that maybe the other 10 had heard that MM was in town. Bad news travels fast over here and, although they apparently have tuk tuks in some areas, we haven't seen hide nor hair of any. Her exploits in India in 2015 have gone down in tuk tuk folklore and have clearly travelled across the globe in the intervening years.
I digress. Mabel arrived bang on 9am and off we went to the old town where we were dropped off next to The Bolivar hotel, a beautiful but decaying building. Everyone who was anyone has stayed here from Kennedy to Mick Jagger. The hotel sits looking over the square that contains a statue in recognition of the Argentinian general (Jose de Saint Martin) who secured Peru independence in 1821. Interestingly, at that time only 10% of Peruvians wanted independence, 90% wanted to stay under Spanish rule! (So Jose was the equivalent to Nicola Sturgeon!). However, the rest of South America wanted Spain out so they united to fight the Spanish and Peruvian armies. Another couple of interesting facts that transpired from looking at the statue. On any statue of a man (or woman) on a horse if the horse has the 2 front legs in the air, then the rider died in battle. If only one leg is lifted (as in this case) the rider did not die in battle. However, if all 4 legs are grounded the the rider was never in a battle. Also, for statues of the virgin Mary, if she has her hands together, then it's before she was a mother, if her arms are open, then she's given birth to Jesus. Fascinating! When you see the photo's you will see a picture of the angel of liberty on the front of the statue of our friend Jose with a tiny Llama on her head. You may wonder why this is. Fortunately for you, I am here to explain as it is quite unusual. Although this is a Peruvian statue, it was commissioned in Spain. In Spanish “Llamas" has several meanings. It can mean Llama the animal, flame or name. So the sculptor was asked to provide a "statue of the angel of liberty with a llamas (name) above". So, when is a llamas not a llamas? Crazy.
It really was an interesting tour and Mabel really knew her history. I would strongly recommend it if you visit Lima.
We also saw the sun for the first time today. Apparently, the Peruvians nickname for Lima is "the donkeys belly" because it's always grey here. However, it hardly ever rains either. They occasionally get drizzle but maybe only 2mm of rain a year.
I'm glad we've spent a couple of days here. It was more interesting than I thought it would be and we've learnt quite a lot.
Tomorrow we fly up to Cuzco and find out how badly we'll suffer from altitude sickness!
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skydoesthings · 1 year
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POTMFTS-CHAPTER 1
A.N: I have arrived with that au I said I would be making hehe. Btw, this is my au, if you have any ideas for it I will consider them but it is my choice whether I will implement them or not. Any and all shipping that might take place is between the characters only, not the content creators. That being said, enjoy my first ever fanfiction!
the link for the intro post
(how do I already have brainrot ueueue)
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GRIAN'S POV:
Grian was tired. So, so tired. "The system's playing a cruel game," he thought to himself as he walked along the world border. "Why would it ever think that pairing up me and Scar again would be a good idea?" All of a sudden, he got flashbacks. A flashback of a desert, which cut to it blowing up. A flashback of a llama, who he cared for deeply. A flashback to a man with a bright grin, who really needed to put his clothes back on. A flashback of a lava moat in a cactus ring, where he had to fistfight...
God, no. He couldn't dwell on that memory or it would destroy him. He...he couldn't take it. The only place he ever really felt at home was there, in the south. The dumb "aHa!" jokes, the towers made out of spruce and cobble, the spyglasses...and most importantly, being with them. Martyn, Timmy, Impulse...and Mumbo.
"Oh Mumbo," He thought. "I miss you."
Suddenly, he heard a noise. He felt himself being pulled somewhere. Huh? How was he in a pitch black room? Wasn't he just-
And then he saw them. The purple aura that radiated evil. The shattered wings, and the golden headpieces. But most of all, he noticed that outrageous number of eyes...
"No, no no no no no. Please not again. It's just a nightmare. No, no please!" He found himself screaming. And then their horrible distorted voices rang in his ears. "But it's real. Why don't you come back to us Xelqua?"
Somehow finding his voice, Grian yelled "No, you horrible distorted monsters! All you watchers have ruined my life, killed so many of my friends, and destroyed my server! I will never join the likes of you, and end anything like you!". With a start, he realised he was crying.
"Hmph. So be it. You refuse to come in peace. Just let it be known, we will torment you for every second of your life, until you join us once more." The watchers said.
Then, he was back. He was back where he was walking before he met them. And, something inside of him snapped. He began to run. Where he was running, he had absolutely no idea. All he knew was that he had to get away. He ran for what felt like forever, even though it must have just been a few minutes, until he bumped into something,
"Whoa there, Grian? You ok?"
"I-Impulse?"
And then he blacked out.
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A.N: AHHHHHH!! Did I write that?!? I'm actually really happy with how that turned out! The brainrot has just gotten worse ahem hehehe. Anyway, I will see you when I get motivation to write chapter 2! Bye!
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sirianasims · 2 months
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Chapter 43.9
I arrive at GeekCon both sweaty and with a vague sense of unease. The stifling heatwave has turned the city into a pressure cooker, and it feels foreboding, like something terrible is building and about to break free.
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I’m greeted by my own face by the door, advertising the panel that I’m supposed to be on this morning. I never got comfortable seeing myself like this, I prefer it when they just use the logo or my masked promo pictures. At least today is the last time I’ll appear as Llama Man in any official capacity, and then…
Then I don’t know.
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But there’ll be time to figure that out later, right now I’m about to see Julia again. I can’t believe it’s only been a year since we met, and I have no idea how she feels about me right now.
I spent most of the night in my hotel room tossing and turning, thinking about what I’ll say to her, but I still don’t have a plan. I just want to apologise for ending things so abruptly.
It really wasn’t my best work.
She said she just wanted to be with you. And then you dumped her.
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I groan inwardly as I scan the faces of everyone I see. There’s no sign of her, but the cosplay competition isn’t until later, she may not have arrived yet.
I wonder if she’ll refuse to speak to me at all. I wouldn’t blame her, but she never seemed like the type to carry a grudge. I just want to see her and make sure she’s not too upset about how things ended, something I should have done months ago.
I need to make sure she doesn’t hate me. I can’t handle if she hates me.
I guess I’ll have to play it by ear, although Lee would tell me that’s not my strongest suit.
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I leave my jacket in the wardrobe and linger a bit, fiddling with my VIP bracelet. The gallery’s air-conditioning is working overtime, and it helps a little with the heat but I still feel uneasy. My eyes are drawn to the bathroom door.
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If this was a movie, Julia would come out of the bathroom right now, exactly like last time. Our eyes would meet. A beat, as the camera cut from her face to mine, both of us too surprised to speak. I would recover first, tell her that we can’t keep meeting like this, and her face would crack into a smile. Then she’d leap into my arms and I would kiss her like there were no tomorrow.
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Get it together, Romeo. She’s not kissing you ever again, you’re going to be lucky if she even speaks to you. Focus. You’re at work.
At least I’m not in full costume this year, I would probably have died from heatstroke. And it would have made me feel silly trying to have a serious conversation with Julia.
I decide to take a quick tour of the convention floor before the panel starts.
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Even though it’s still early in the day, there’s people everywhere. Some tabletop role-players are recording their podcast on location, kids are running around, and several people are dressed up despite the heat. I wish Julia had shown me pictures of the costume she was planning so I knew what to look for.
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A woman with long, red hair makes me do a double take, but I know it isn’t Julia before she even turns around, the way she moves is wrong. I know every inch of Julia’s body and this isn’t it. Everything Julia is, the way she walks and talks and laughs is imprinted on my brain, and it feels like I should be able to locate her by telepathy, by following some sort of invisible string tying me to her.
“Uh, Mr. Romeo! Sorry, hello.”
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“Oh, hey. Edmund, right?”
The young man beams, clearly pleased that I remember his name. His booth was next to mine last year, we talked about old movies. I wish I could introduce Julia to him, she would have loved to discuss Cow Plant Love with an expert.
“Wait, you do know him? I thought you were lying!” The teenage girl next to him sounds somewhere between impressed and angry.
“Yeah, why would I lie about that? Sorry, sir, this is my sister Liz, she’s a big fan of Llama Man.”
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“Can I have your autograph? I collect them, I already got the Coolala guy and the Freezer Bunny lady this morning. Oh, and can you make it out to ‘Lizette’, with a Z, please?”
“Of course. That’s a very cool costume, Lizette with a Z.”
“I made it myself! It’s Michelle from Doherty’s Revenge, have you seen it? The one with the zombie gym teacher?”
“Oh? Haven’t heard of it, do you think I should watch it?”
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“You have to, it’s so good! I used to think it was actually really scary but now I just think it’s funny. Me and Edmund watch a lot of like, retro movies with dad, we even watched the really old Llama Man movies once. I’m gonna tell my dad I met you, he won’t believe it!”
“I’m flattered. Thanks for the movie recommendation, I’ll make sure to check it out.” I hand her the autograph before waving goodbye to Edmund who mouths a silent thank you.
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Retro.
I know everything seems ancient to a teenager, but the word tastes like dusty VHS tapes, like lava lamps and shag carpets, like mid-century kitchens. This is my demographic, I suppose, nostalgic dads and their excitable kids.
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Julia is not in the panel crowd either, but I guess that would have been too much to hope for. I would probably have found her presence too distracting anyway.
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I know one of the other panellists, Mei Zhang, the iconic voice of the Freezer Bunny for over fifteen years. We’ve met briefly at conventions and even on a few gigs, but never really got a chance to speak much.
The third panellist is a young man named Andy Okeke, who seems to be voicing a few Voidcritters as well as a bear-like creature I’ve never heard of. It’s his first time on a panel, but he’s already annoyingly good for his age, and I can imagine him having a pretty impressive career at the speed he’s going.
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I answer the same questions I’ve answered a million times before and try to find some sort of comfort in the fact that it’s the last time. As much as I loved my job, it got repetitive after almost a decade. Maybe I should get that number for Sierra’s agent, try to get back on screen. Maybe I’ve grown too complacent, stagnant.
Finally, the questions dry up and the last people leave the room, and just like that, I’m free from my contract. It doesn’t feel like freedom, though, more like a free fall.
“Hey, Romeo, wait up.” Mei stops me by the doors.
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“How are you doing? It must be so weird.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know what I’ll do if they ever retire Bunny.”
“You’ll still have others, won’t you?”
“I know, but I’m known for Freezer Bunny, not for… four or five Voidcritters. I can’t even keep track of their names, which is ironic since it’s all they ever say.”
I’m not sure how to respond so I just nod. I’m impatient to get to the cosplay competition, but I don’t want to be rude.
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“Mei, it was great seeing you again, but I’m in a bit of a hurry, actually.”
“Sure. Would you – would you want to grab coffee some time, though?”
Shit. Before Julia, I would have gladly followed Mei home tonight, maybe we’d even go on a couple of real dates before things fizzled out as they normally do. But right now, every muscle in my body is telling me that I have to go, to move, to be somewhere else.
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“Sorry, I’m, uh. Maybe another time, I don’t…”
The giant poster of my face is judging my lame attempt at stringing together a sentence, and I’m painfully aware that the woman behind us has been sweeping the same spot for a minute now, pretending not to eavesdrop.
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“I’m a big girl, Romeo. If you’re not interested, that’s fine.”
“Right. I am sorry, though, it’s not…” I mumble something politely incoherent and more or less flee the room.
Fuck. One year and I’ve completely lost my touch.
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I hurry up the stairs, the competition must be just about to end. I can see through the doors before I even reach them, all of the contestants are on stage – and she’s not there.
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I stand in front of the doors, frozen, arm still outstretched. This doesn’t make sense, she loves this, she told me about the costume she was planning, she should be here.
There’s no time to dwell on why I so desperately need to see her again, what I would even say to her, the only thing left is fear.
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What if something has happened to her? Would I ever know? We’re not together anymore and we have no friends in common, no one who would think of me or assume I’d want to know if she got hurt or sick.
She could be dead. She could be dead and I would never know.
I’m vaguely aware that I’m spiralling but I can’t stop, I feel dizzy. The heat and the lights and the people, everything is too much and I can barely see.
Somehow my feet carry me outside, to the very same bench where we talked for hours on that first night. I try to breathe, deep breaths, but the air is too warm and feels thick.
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My hands shake as I log into the anonymous account I made during a moment of weakness after she blocked me, and I pull up her social media in the hopes that she posted something recently, anything that can reassure me that she’s fine.
Relief floods through me when I see the timestamp on her latest updates. San Sequoia Aquarium, just a couple of hours ago. But the relief dissipates quickly as I scroll through the photos.
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Nestled between fish and family pictures, there are two selfies with her friend Marten.
I stare at them, suddenly feeling numb.
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Her eyes are shining like stars in the lights from the tanks. She’s smiling, and so is he. His arm is around her, possessively, and there’s a hint of triumph in his eyes that I don’t like.
He seems to be carrying her on his back in the other photo, and the thought of her legs wrapped around him awakens an urge to tear him away from her that is almost suffocating.
If they’re not already dating, it’s a matter of time. They would probably have gotten together a long time ago if I hadn’t been there. A petty part of me wonders if he was really being her friend or just biding his time, waiting for me to fumble, but that’s crazy. I barely know the guy. Actually, I don’t really know any of Julia’s friends, I just have a vague idea about their names and who they were to her.
I wasn’t a very good boyfriend, was I?
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I told you it was better this way.
I’ve kept reminding myself that I didn’t make a mistake, and here’s proof at last. This was meant to be, they were meant to get together, I just happened to get in the way. He’s been a good friend to her, nice and considerate, while I only brought her chaos and pain.
I was so worried that Julia was wasting my time, but all along, I was the one wasting hers. She deserves better, I know this, but it still feels like I lost her all over again.
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I put away the phone and take a deep breath of the scorching air. And then I reach for the tiny, secret corner of my heart where I was nursing my last hope of getting her back and stomp it out.
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kyuqtq · 1 year
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Pulling a Rabbit Out of a Hat
Summary: Wilbur ordered a pet off of the internet in order to hopefully bring some joy and life into his shitty apartment. Sure, his lease doesn't allow cats or dogs or other fluffy things, but he think he found the perfect loophole when he ordered a frog. Now, it's moments away from arriving, and he couldn't be more excited.
Surely nothing will go wrong, right?
Characters: Wilbur Soot, Technoblade, Shelby, Philza
Gift for @trashland-llamas as part of the @technoblade-gift-exchange !
Wilbur hasn’t been able to stop pacing since he first got the alert that his package is out for delivery. He walks the length of his shitty old couch repeatedly, trying to avoid staring down the terrarium he has set up in the corner of his living room. Other than the decor, it’s still completely empty, and soon enough he’ll be able to change that. Unless something goes wrong with the delivery, of course.
Which it shouldn’t. He paid an extra fee in order to try and guarantee the safety of the damn thing, so if something goes wrong he’s going to be pretty pissed. 
He’s still extremely nervous about it, though. It wasn’t until recently that he knew that you even could order animals online. He still isn't quite sure why he even decided to risk it; instead of buying a perfectly good frog in the pet store when he bought the tank and everything that goes with it, he decided to order one online. Well, he does know why. The tank and its contents was already more than a hundred pounds over his monthly budget, and to get a cool looking frog in store was going to be… a lot. So he decided to save the money where it really counted and he's praying to whatever god is listening that he doesn't get a box with a dead animal inside of it.
He hears a knock at the door and it takes all of his willpower to walk and not scramble to the door. The delivery man accepts his signature with a bored expression and hands him a suspiciously quiet box. He leaves before Wilbur can even say thank you, but he's not as put off about it as he probably would have been if he didn't have the obvious distraction in his arms. 
Suddenly, it's a lot more real than it was before. What in the world was he thinking? Sure, his shitty little apartment is dark and lonely all the time, but is he even here enough to warrant a pet? And a frog of all things, his lease doesn't allow cats or dogs but is a frog really going to be worth all the money he spent? Will it be alright without him when he's in class or working?
The box moves with a thump and he realizes he definitely needs to take his new pet out; even if he's having regrets it's too late to change his mind now. Wilbur's never been more nervous to open a box, what if the thing jumps into the blade of the knife as he cuts open the tape? He isn't sure if going quickly or slowly would be better so he settles in an awkward combination of the two, moving the blade carefully before deciding to finish in a single rapid motion. He opens the box, hoping that the thing will at least look as cute as it did online.
He blinks. Once, twice, a third time. What sits before him is not the delightful palm sized frog that he was expecting, but rather a large, pink, and fluffy rabbit. It stares back at him with dark eyes, as though challenging him and he scoffs in disbelief. They fucked up his purchase badly enough that they sent him the entirely wrong thing.
The rabbit’s big ears twitch at him, and Wilbur abandons the box in favor of pacing once again. There is no way that his lease will allow rabbits, not when cats and dogs are forbidden. He has to send it back, obviously, even though that will surely cost so damn much. He doesn't have the money for this, but he’s not about to try and keep the thing in his shitty small apartment. It’s the size of a cat, and he doesn’t know anything about rabbits, they’re supposed to have outdoor space, right? Something he clearly doesn’t have.
He groans, glaring at the rabbit as though it is the one at fault here. Wilbur runs through his options: shipping the rabbit back to wherever it came from will cost a ton, he doesn’t have space for a big pink rabbit, his landlord would kill him if they found out. There’s only one real solution. He needs to… turn the rabbit… into a frog.
He. Can not do that. 
But he might actually know someone who can. Someone who should be getting home from work in ten minutes. He picks up the box, startled to process that the box is far lighter than it was a moment before. The rabbit has leapt out of the box and has gone on to get cozy on his shitty couch, flopped over with its legs stretched out. It’s cute like this, and honestly, if he had more options he would be more than willing to keep it.
He mostly wanted a frog as something to focus on when he’s at home and he can’t think about homework for another moment. There was plenty that he could devote himself to, like humidity levels and proper coverage, but that doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t prefer something soft and fluffy. But he can’t let his heart win, not when his wallet is so empty and asking for his father’s help would result in such an absolute look of disappointment. He can’t afford to move right now, and he already spent so much money and god damn it, who cares about the ethics of it, he is going to put a frog in the damn tank he bought. 
It’s been long enough, she should be home by now, and he decides to leave the rabbit in his apartment for now. She’s… easily delighted by cute creatures, and he would like to be able to explain the situation before she gets too distracted. He leaves the apartment, locking the door and turning around to find the rabbit sitting at his feet. He never even saw it move. He groans, picking it up and moving down the hall. 
The apartment he’s after is at the end of the hallway, with an adorable floral welcome mat and lush wreath. He knocks with his free hand, wincing sympathetically when he hears the sounds of clashing. His neighbor throws open the door and he can see as everything she knocked over rolls along the floor. 
“Hello?”
“Shelby! It’s great to see you! I need your help.” He starts making his way into the apartment, not so much out of rudeness and more out of the fact that the rabbit in his arms has started kicking and trying to escape his grip. She moves aside without a fight, mouth dropped open as she stares at the fuzzy creature in his arms.
“I, uh, okay? You have a rabbit?” She pauses, sounding more thoughtful than shocked when she continues. “Is that allowed?”
“Oh no, definitely not.” He lets out a pained hiss as the rabbit claws its way free from his arms. “There was a mishap. I need a potion.”
“A potion? For your rabbit? Wilbur, what is going on?”
“Well. Okay. So I ordered a pet frog, right? Like, I got the tank and decorated it and everything was perfect and I got what should have been my delightful new friend about an hour ago. But, when I opened the box, this… this pink fuck was staring up at me, clearly not what I asked for, but to send it back it would cost like… a lot. I dunno, more than I can afford right now. So I figured since you are like, a witch apprentice or something, surely you can give me a potion to make it into a frog instead.”
“That’s a terrible idea! I haven’t ever made a potion that works, Wilbur! Not to mention the ethics, and how it would still probably have a rabbit’s mind and not a frog’s mind…”
“Shelby, please…” It comes out as more of a whine than a plea, but it seems to crack part of Shelby’s resolve anyways. “No one will ever have to know. I’ll take good care of the thing, I just need it to be… I need it to be something that won’t get me evicted.” 
She sighs, moving towards the bedroom and gesturing for him to follow her. “Alright, but if I get in trouble for this, I’ll make sure to blame you!” 
The room isn’t her bedroom. Instead, it appears to be a study, or whatever a witch’s room is called. With a large black cauldron in the center and scrolls and potions covering every shelf, when Shelby dons her hat she’s never looked more like the witch she claims to be. Wilbur wonders what the glamor that she certainly has in place makes the room look like to the landlord, because the ceiling is definitely scorched and stained with failed potions. 
She starts mixing in things, ingredients that his father would be very disappointed to find out that he doesn’t recognize at a glance, but before long the liquid in the pot is glowing a vibrant neon green. Shelby ladles the potion into three slender vials and before Wilbur can comment about how much more there is in the cauldron the rest vanishes. Instead, he mutters under his breath about how he’ll never really understand magic.
“Okay. So, in theory this should work. At the very least…” She consults the heavy book that Wilbur belatedly realizes is floating besides the cauldron. “At the very least it shouldn’t hurt the little guy if it fails. And… And if it does please don’t tell me about it! He’s such a little cutie I don’t want to know if I do something that gets him hurt!”
She thrusts the vials into his hands, “Have him take all three, an hour apart. The change should be instant after he finishes the third. I think.”
Wilbur nods, trying his hardest to balance the potions and the rabbit in his arms. She’s practically pushing him out, not even giving him a moment to thank her before he’s out the apartment and the door closes behind him.
“Well, then. Little guy, I’m very excited for you to actually be what I was after. Not looking forward to making you drink these though.”
The rabbit stares up at him with its big black eyes. He grimaces, it’s almost like the rabbit is daring him to try, which is stupid because it’s a rabbit and can’t actually challenge him or anything. He groans, tucking the big stupid rabbit under his arm and going back to his own apartment. The glass of the potion bottles clink as he walks, which the rabbit apparently either finds fascinating or despises because he genuinely can’t tell if the thing is trying to get to the potions or away from them. Does it really matter if it’s kicking and scratching at his arms either way?
He practically throws it as soon as he opens his apartment door; it lands on the ground with a hefty thump and Wilbur winces. He doesn’t know how far rabbits can actually fall without getting hurt. He watches as the rabbit retreats to behind his POS couch, staring back at him with unbreaking eye contact. He places two of the potions on the counter, slowly moving to approach the rabbit and already preparing for what he feels is going to be a struggle. He lunges forward, but the rabbit outmaneuvers him with ease. His nose slams into the arm of his couch and he swears loudly as he feels a trickle of blood start to run down his face. 
The rabbit hops towards him, only to move out of reach when he swipes at it. The thing is playing with him, which only serves to make him more frustrated. Which makes him sloppier. He groans as the rabbit evades him yet again. 
“Okay. Okay. Okay. Clearly, you don’t want me to catch you. Which is fine, obviously. But. It needs to happen, you need to take these potions, and I need you to stop being a fucking rabbit so I don’t get evicted from my apartment!” He sighs heavily after his exclamation, the fight slipping from his body as the adrenaline starts to wear off. He leans his head back against the back of his couch, raising a hand to cup his nose and try to keep from making more of a bloody mess. The rabbit stares at him while he wallows in self pity before seemingly deciding that it was done playing games with him. 
It hops over to him, settling in his lap before nudging his hand that’s still loosely holding the potion. He groans in disbelief, “so I just had to have a little moment and now you’ll do what I want? Is that what you’re saying, little guy?”
The rabbit obviously doesn’t answer him, sniffing at the potion with interest as Wilbur sighs and uncaps the bottle. The rabbit accepts it easily, and when he goes to grab the other two bottles he’s very pleasantly surprised by the fact that the rabbit doesn’t force him to play their terrible little game of chase again and instead continues to drink Shelby’s potions. 
When it takes the final sip of potion Wilbur feels uncontrollable excitement. The potion will supposedly take effect any second now, leaving him with the frog he should have received in the first place. Minutes pass, the pair never breaking eye contact as Wilbur nervously tries to recall what Shelby said to him. She said it was instant, right? He groans as he considers the other, more likely option. Her potions didn’t work. He bites back his cutting thoughts, about how he should have known better than to get a potion from someone who is so bad at magic they have to have a job as a barista. He knows he isn’t being fair, that she’s trying her hardest, but he’s so… He’s a little pissed off, alright, nothing is going his way, he just wanted something nice and instead he’s getting this huge headache to deal with. 
He groans, the rabbit hops off of him without him having to bat at it. He halfheartedly sets up some newspaper on the ground, hoping that the rabbit will decide to use it instead of his shitty couch if it needs to piss. He… He’ll deal with it in the morning. He barely thinks about stripping down and flopping face first on his bed. The rabbit can wait.
--
He wakes to the feeling of fuzz brushing his face. He smacks at it, expecting a pillow or something, but his hand makes very solid contact. And the fuzz doesn’t move. He cracks open an eye to see black eyes staring back at him. The pink fur of the rabbit is brushing against him as the animal sits upon his chest. 
“Ribbit.” 
He stares before pushing the rabbit, trying to get the thing off of him so he can continue sleeping. It refuses to move, pressing back against his hand and seeming to glare at him. He groans, annoyance flowing through him as the rabbit continues to refuse to ever fucking work with him. 
“Ribbit.”
It’s even haunting his dreams now, teasing him about what he desperately wants the thing to be while cruelly reminding him of its true fluffy form. He might just be cursed with unhappiness. Unable to ever be truly satisfied as long as life insists on kicking him while he’s down. The rabbit pushes against his hand, a motion akin to a nuzzle and Wilbur sighs. He closes his eyes and slams his head back down against his pillow, unsure of if he’s trying to knock himself back out or wake himself up. 
“Ribbit. Hungry.”
He cracks open one eye to glare at the rabbit before he processes what’s been happening. The fucking bunny has been ribbiting at him. His mouth opens slowly; he doesn’t even know what he wants to say but he doesn’t have the words to even stutter something out. The rabbit stares back at him, waiting with an air of impatience that has Wilbur scrambling to sit up.
“You’re fucking talking.” The rabbit stares at him just long enough that he begins to question whether or not he’s losing his mind. He feels the way that his breath starts to pick up. This is unbelievable, this is insane. 
“Yeah. Ribbit. Food time.” The absolute deadpan is enough to force a bark of laughter out of him. It’s a little manic, he’s losing his mind for sure. The rabbit shouldn’t be able to talk, the potion shouldn’t have had that delayed of an effect. He doesn’t know what the hell is going on anymore. He stares at the little speaking beast sitting on his chest and he doesn’t know what the hell is going on. 
“What the hell is going on…?” His voice is full of disbelief. This is insane, he feels insane.
“Food. Now.” The rabbit stomps its little foot and it’s so cute that Wilbur probably would have cooed over it had he not still been losing his mind over the fact that the potions that Shelby gave him made it so his fucking rabbit could talk instead of turning it into a frog like he wanted. 
He sits up, causing the rabbit to roll over and flop onto the bed. He needs to show Shelby, he needs to show her at once. He tosses clothes on without much care, a yellow sweater and a long denim skirt. The rabbit is also thrown over his shoulder as he leaves the apartment, and he hurries over to Shelby’s.
She has work today, but it might still be early enough that she hasn’t left yet. Maybe he’ll get lucky and she’ll be able to give her witchy opinion. He knocks, trying to peek under the slightly askew blinds and seeing nothing but a dark room. He has to have missed her then. He groans, looking at the grumpy rabbit in his arms. 
“Well, it seems as though we can’t ask Shelby anything until she gets off of work. Which means I have to feed you, little guy.”
“Technoblade. Name. Ribbit.”
He doesn’t manage to withhold his scoff at the name. A fluffy pink rabbit named Technoblade, when it’s any preteen girl’s dream pet. Technoblade glares at him in response.
“Okay, Techno. We need to feed you so I’m going to bring you back home and then I’ll go to the pet store.”
“No.”
“No? What do you mean no?”
“Not alone. Ribbit. Take me with you.”
Wilbur groans at the thought. The rabbit is pink, can talk, and is huge. He really, really doesn’t want to bring it with him on the bus. Just imagining the looks people would give him is enough to make him want to shrivel up and die. Techno stares up at him, challenging him, and he grimaces as he feels himself giving in. 
“Fine. Okay. Whatever. You have to be normal though; you have to be quiet. You can’t talk, you can’t be weird. If anyone even looks at me while we’re on the bus I’ll die.” He’s barely exaggerating, the idea of being watched while he’s on a bus is unbearable. Techno doesn’t answer him, hopping off of the bed and moving towards the front door. 
Wilbur climbs out of bed, watching as the rabbit hops away and mentally tries to prepare himself for the nightmare that is about to unfold for him. “Are rabbits even allowed on the bus?” He whispers under his breath, praying to any god that’s listening that he won’t get kicked off of the damn bus because of this damn rabbit that refuses to let him go alone. 
Given the way that it managed to escape when he went to see Shelby the first time, he isn’t confident in his ability to get out without the bunny following him. He gets dressed quickly before grimacing as he thinks about how the hell he’s supposed to carry the damn thing. He doesn’t actually have a large enough backpack to be able to carry an entire rabbit with him. He throws his head back in frustration as he considers his options, the only thing he can think of is some kind of fucked up baby sling.
He grabs one of his spare pillowcases and awkwardly tries to tie it around him, making an extremely basic sling that hypothetically could carry the rabbit. He doesn’t know if it will work, but he can worry about something better once he’s at the pet store. Technoblade hops back into the room, impatience clear on its little rabbit face. 
He scoops the bunny up in a single motion, ignoring the way it kicks at him angrily. It fits into the sling, only protesting slightly as it adjusts to be more comfortable. He feels like… he feels like some kind of single mother with how nestled the bunny is against him. He mentally prepares himself for going out, bracing himself for all of the inevitable eyes upon him, and he steps out of the door. 
The weather is perfect. He tries to focus on that as he walks down to the bus stop. There aren't a lot of people out even though the sun is shining and there’s a lovely gentle breeze. He’s glad that it’s quiet. Technoblade seems to appreciate the weather as well, snoozing the day away as though he isn’t throwing Wilbur’s life upside down. He sits down on the bench and pulls out his phone. 
He has a couple of missed texts from Phil. It’s not too surprising, he missed his check in last night, but he was a little distracted. He’s also missed a text from Tommy. He rolls his eyes affectionately and opens the text, unsurprised to see that Tommy sent him the very intelligent message of “Oi bitch answer Phil or I’ll cut you.”
He’s about to answer when the bus pulls up beside him. The bus driver raises an eyebrow at him, but otherwise doesn’t seem to care too much about the fact that he’s bringing his pet on the bus. They’re probably used to stranger, in all honesty. The people are are clearly not used to seeing stranger things than a grown man with a bunny rabbit are the rest of the bus goers, given the way that he can feel their eyes burning into him as he sits on the bench closest to the exit. 
There’s a kid who is extremely excited about it, and he’s just stuck praying that the parent is powerful enough to keep them from harassing him. He’ll be nice to the kid, obviously, but he doesn’t have the energy, or maybe the strength to deal with children right now. 
There’s an old man who is glaring daggers at him across the way. Wilbur keeps accidentally glancing up at him just to find that the look has not faded in the slightest. Technoblade adjusts in his sling, causing the glare to immediately focus on his rabbit. Wilbur can’t really help the way his arms move protectively to try and cover Techno from view. He doesn’t know what kind of fucking problem this old man has but he isn’t about to let anything happen to an innocent (if annoying) animal about it. The man huffs, turning away quickly, and only then does Wilbur feel himself relax more.
He can hear the whispers as people talk about him and Techno, but he can ignore it. Just two more stops and then he’ll be at the pet store and maybe he’ll buy an actual carrier. He just needs to last until Shelby can help him, he reassures himself, just a few more hours.He stares down at the rabbit sleeping in his lap and tries to ignore the looks. The rabbit calms his nerves a surprising amount, something about Technoblade trusting him enough to sleep peacefully helps keep his breathing steady. He feels far better when he reaches his stop, escaping the watchful eyes and walking out into the parking lot. 
It’s a smaller pet store that he decided to go to, one which should have fewer people and should hopefully be a bit better suited to help him with his rabbit struggles. When he pulls open the door, there’s a small ding from a bell that has the few employees turn to face him. He cringes, trying to not feel too self conscious as their eyes all zero in on the rabbit strapped across his chest. 
“I, um, hello. I need help with taking care of a rabbit?” The way he talks to them makes him want to pull his own hair out. He sounds like a child, unable to just say what the hell he needs, but he’s literally never been good at talking to people. The employees all share a glance before one steps forward. 
“Of course, what do you need for the little guy?” 
“Um, food. And a carrier? I don’t… I wasn’t ready to have to take care of a rabbit so I don’t know what all I need to get for it.” The employee makes a noncommittal noise, and he’s sure that she’s judging him for not being properly prepared for a pet. “I’m just taking care of it temporarily, until I can figure out a better living situation for him.”
The look on her face immediately transforms into one of better understanding. “Oh, of course! Right this way, I’ll help you get everything you need!” She leads Wilbur down the winding isles of the store, guiding him to the section marked for small rodents. She’s explaining the difference in food brands in a way that’s mostly going over his head, and he’s never been more grateful than when Techno shifts, drawing the conversation to cooing and fawning over the sleepyhead. Seeing his chance, he awkwardly thanks her and grabs what should hopefully be good for the amount of money he’s stuck spending. It’s annoying when he finds out that they are out of pet carriers that are large enough to contain Technoblade, but he tries to convince the worker that it’s fine and to not stress about it.
He pays, trying not to look too closely at the total amount that he is spending, and walks out back into the sunlight. Techno shifts again, looking up at him with his big black eyes. Wilbur smiles down at him without thinking.
“I’m not eating that.”
The smile fades in an instant. “What do you mean? It’s rabbit food, it has all your nutrients and shit.”
“It’s nasty. I want carrots. Buy me carrots.”
“Rabbits aren’t even supposed to eat that many carrots, I’m not doing that. I’m not being responsible for you not getting enough vitamins or whatever.”
“Cringe. Buy me carrots. I’m hungry.” Techno whines up at him, glaring with his fluffy little bunny face. 
Wilbur can feel his resolve weakening, he groans, looking around and trying to remember where the closest supermarket is. “Fine. Fine! Whatever. We’ll see what happens when you refuse to eat anything that’s actually good for you!”
Techno, unsurprisingly, doesn’t seem to care about Wilbur’s concern for his well being. The ungrateful little bunny only seems to care about his own desires. Wilbur finds himself grumbling under his breath, completely ignored by the rabbit. Techno has in fact, fallen back asleep. Technically, Wilbur could go home, make the rabbit eat his little pellets and ignore the fact that Techno can talk to him and complain about the food.
He groans, already finding himself heading towards the grocery store. Honestly, it’s fine, he loves spending money, it makes him very happy and excited and not at all worried about when he next talks to Phil. He pales as he suddenly remembers the fact that he still hasn’t messaged Phil yet. He pulls out his phone and grimaces when he sees that he only has 2% of his battery remaining, as well as a missed call. There’s no real point in answering then, Phil is already on his way to come and see him. He just needs to make sure that he gets the Techno situation figured out before then. Or else he’ll never hear the end of it. 
He walks into the grocery store without thinking, only to see one of the employees glare at him before returning to their work. He feels his face flush, what the hell is he thinking? He’s bringing a rabbit into a grocery store. He’s lucky they didn’t kick him out outright. He beelines to the produce section, looking over the array of carrots and finding the generic brand baby carrots in an instant. He grabs them, nearly jumping out of his skin when Techno moves in order to sniff at them.
“Not those ones.”
“What?” He’s so glad that there isn’t anyone close enough to hear him hiss at the rabbit that he explicitly told not to talk. “It doesn’t matter!”
“Yeah it does. I want better ones. Those carrots suck.”
“No, you can deal with it.”
“No!” Techno calls out loud enough that Wilbur looks around frantically. The only person close enough is an employee restocking with bulky headphones on. 
“Fine! Fine, nice carrots.” He grabs a bunch of full sized carrots, holding them up for Techno to investigate. “Are these good enough?”
“Nah. Can smell the chemicals. Better carrots.”
He’s going to buy some potatoes and onions and have a nice rabbit stew. He grabs the organic carrots with a huff, holding them out and not feeling at all surprised when Techno nods in approval. He wishes he could argue with Techno, but he refuses to do so in a place where people can see him. This has already completely drained his social battery, he’s not going to recover for weeks. There's no line for the self-checkout and he counts his blessings. He practically bolts from the store as soon as he finishes, earning a dirty look from the security guard. He almost considers walking home, anything to avoid the ordeals of the bus again, but he's bloody tired. He slumps down onto the bench and waits for the bus to arrive to take him home.
-- 
He arrives home at the same time as Shelby. They lock eyes across the hall and he can see her mentally preparing for his nonsense. He puts on his friendliest smile which seems to only put her more on guard.
"Shelby! Just who I wanted to see!"
"Wilbur! I see that the potions didn't work, but I did warn you that they might not so you can't be mad at me." She's speaking very defensively, leading Wilbur to think she probably had a rough day at work.
He holds up placating hands, the effect ruined by the plastic bags he's holding. "I'm not mad. I just wanted to let you know what the potions did manage to do."
"What do you mean? If they didn't turn the little guy into a frog they shouldn't have done anything." She sounds worried enough that Wilbur drops the air of mystery he was trying to create. It's no fun when he's just stressing her out.
"He can talk now. Can you fix him?"
"What?"
"He can talk. Here." He lightly jostles Techno, causing the rabbit to make a displeased grumble. "Techno, talk to Shelby."
Technoblade stares up at her with his beady black eyes and for a moment Wilbur's worried that the bunny is going to refuse. "Hullo…"
"Oh my god! He's so precious!" She smiles widely, looking up between Techno and Wilbur with something akin to awe.
"Hungry. No more talking, ribbit. Carrots now." 
“Can you make him stop talking? And back into a normal rabbit again?”
“I, uh, no. I don’t think I can. I don’t even know what I did that made him able to talk. I’d have to recreate those potions again and I don’t know if they would even have the same effect. But Wilbur, he’s so cute!”
“Ribbit. I am so cute. Feed me now.”
Wilbur rolls his eyes, not having the energy to fight with this rabbit anymore. "Alright, fine. Shelby, listen, I mostly just wanted you to know in case you wanted to, I don't know, patent the potion to make people's pets talk or something. But if you figure out how to undo it, please let me know." 
He opens the door to his apartment and releases Techno from his sling. He keeps the door open as he places the bags down on his coffee table, not wanting to seem rude but also really not having the energy to keep holding everything and continue the conversation. Shelby doesn’t seem to mind, or if she does, she’s polite enough not to say anything. He walks back to the doorway, trying to think of how to end the conversation without being a huge jackass.
"Oh yeah! I didn't even think about that!" Shelby beams at him as Techno hops off into the living room. "Wilbur, I'm sorry that the potion didn't work the way you wanted but this is a really neat thing!"
"He's a bit of a pain, though. Thank you for your help Shelby, but honestly, I'm a bit tired."
"Of course! Let me know if you need any more help with the little guy. I'll start working on a glamor for when the landlord decides to come visit!" She leaves him with little more than a wave, not giving him a moment to try and explain how he wasn't going to keep the rabbit.
He groans, going inside and searching for Techno. At first, he doesn't find anything, doesn't even so much as hear the little guy hopping around. He hears a rustling in his kitchen that puts him on alert, he has no idea what Techno could be doing in the kitchen, but he really isn’t looking forward to finding out. He steps through the doorway hesitantly, and he can’t help his yell of frustration when he realizes what the fuck Technoblade has done.
The terrible, shitty rabbit that he was forced to let into his home has eaten every single one of the very nice, very expensive carrots that Wilbur just bought. He’s currently munching on the few remaining carrot tops, as though he isn’t ruining Wilbur’s life. Techno stops for a moment, glancing up at Wilbur before deciding that he isn’t worth Techno’s time or whatever the awful little bunny thinks. 
He doesn’t want to try and fight with Techno, he doesn’t think the rabbit would listen to him in the slightest and he really, really doesn’t have the energy to deal with this. He pulls out his phone, grimacing when he sees he has yet another missed call from Phil. He sends a quick text, trying to explain the situation in a way that doesn’t make him sound like an incompetent idiot. Phil, surprisingly, doesn’t answer. Wilbur sends a text to Tommy next, asking where the hell Phil is and if things are okay.
Tommy responds with “Phil is busy with shit bitch should have answered him sooner.”
He can’t help the almost affectionate smile that forms as he reads, which is instantly wiped away when he looks up and sees Techno shoving his head inside the plastic grocery bag that is now completely devoid of carrots.
“Oi, cut that out. You already fucking ate all of them. Those were supposed to last a while, y’know? I don’t have the money to just keep buying you expensive as fuck carrots.” Techno stops rooting around in the plastic bag, but doesn’t acknowledge him otherwise. He’s kind of like the world’s rudest cat, in a way. Does his own thing, demands that you do what he wants, refuses to be left alone. He wishes he had a normal fucking cat instead. He checks his phone one last time before the weight of the day catches up to him. He collapses onto his shitty couch, feet hanging over the edge, and he passes the fuck out.
He wakes up to the sound of talking, and has a moment where he’s genuinely terrified that he forgot to lock his door and he’s getting robbed when he realizes he recognizes both of the voices.
“Cringe, old man. I just want carrots. Ribbit.”
“Just answer the question. Why the hell do you keep ribbiting, mate?”
“I’m a frog. Duh.”
“Uh huh, sure thing. What the hell did Wilbur do to you…?”
“I dunno, some kind of potion or something.”
He rolls his eyes, sitting up to see Phil holding Technoblade up to his face. Phil looks over at him with a raised eyebrow. He clears his throat, trying to clear the sleep from his voice before talking. “I got it from Shelby, it was supposed to turn him into a frog so that I wasn’t breaking my lease but obviously it didn’t work.”
“Ah, Wil. What have I told you about-” Wilbur cuts him off, not wanting to have the same age old argument again. 
“About not messing with magic I don’t understand, I know. I figured that talking to a witch about a potion was a relatively safe bet. If you just taught me anything, then I wouldn’t have to go to other people.” He groans, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t just avoid magic forever, not as long as you’re my dad. Look, that doesn’t matter right now. Can you fix him? Or turn him into a frog?”
“Wil, he already thinks he’s a frog with a carrot addiction. I don’t want to mess the poor fella up any more than he already is.” Phil’s talking to him in what Wilbur has come to refer to as the Voice, the one that Phil uses when he’s trying to talk Wilbur out of something potentially dangerous, either real danger or danger that only exists in Phil’s mind. Techno starts kicking and squirming, Phil puts him down on the ground with an affectionate smile on his face. “Besides, he’s pretty cute.”
“Everyone keeps saying that and I really don’t see the appeal! He’s demanding and selfish and bloody fucking expensive and I would really rather have a little tree frog like I paid for instead!” The weight of the past few days is heavier than he thought, he’s having a borderline panic attack. He wasn’t ready to have Techno, wasn’t ready for things to go wrong, especially not one after the other like that. 
“Ah, mate. Deep breaths, alright? You’ll be okay. Techno’s a delight, he’s just been enjoying pushing your buttons.” Phil runs a hand along his back, Techno stares up at him with his big black eyes. “You know, I got worried when you didn’t answer my messages. I wasn’t ready for a new addition to the family.”
Wilbur barks out a laugh, watching the way that Techno’s ears twitch in response. Techno hops up onto the couch beside him, placing his head down in Wilbur’s lap and accepting Wilbur’s hesitant pets on his head. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t exactly ready for this much responsibility either. Maybe you could take him? Tommy would love him, I’m sure.”
“Haha, no way in hell, mate. He’s your problem.” Phil moves towards the door and Wilbur can’t help the pang of sadness he feels. Phil’s leaving already, always incredibly busy with something. That’s part of the reason that he wanted a pet in the first place, something to keep him company while his family is unavailable. “Listen, Wil. I know that you’re still frustrated with me for not… mm, involving you in the family business. But I really want to remind you, you can not fuck with magic. You hear that, Techno? No magic for Wilbur.”
Techno nods in response, but Phil dips out of the door before Wilbur can say anything. He sighs, looking down at the rabbit that has made himself comfortable on his lap. 
“I like Phil.” Techno speaks out of the blue. “He’s pretty cool.”
“You probably would have had more fun if you had convinced him to take you with him.” There’s a slight bitterness to his tone that he doesn’t really want. It’s not Phil’s fault that Wilbur can’t be with him. Not really. Not after everything that Phil has already done for him. But he does miss him, and home, and even Tommy. 
“Yeah probably. But I didn’t wanna.” Techno’s deadpan dismissal of going with Phil startles Wilbur. The two seemed to form a very quick connection, one that Wilbur had never seen from Phil before, and the idea of Techno turning it down for some reason just doesn’t compute in his mind.
“Why not? I would have if I was you.”
“Well, I asked him a question, and I didn’t like his answer.”
“What the hell did you ask him?”
“I asked if he would buy me the fancy organic carrots from the grocery store. He told me no.”
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thesims4-adventure · 2 years
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Not So Berry Legacy Challenge Generation One: Mint
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Fizemos uma decoração simples...
**Halloween has arrived. We made a simple decoration...**
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...até Crystal quis ajudar.
**...even Crystal wanted to help.**
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Pose de https://www.patreon.com/atashi77
Colocamos nossas fantasias, eu queria todos combinando mas Charlote já estava na fase de achar fantasias idiotas e eu não consegui achar nenhuma fantasia de herói para as gêmeas, então vesti elas com seus pijamas de bichinhos. Elas são bebês, ficariam fofas de qualquer jeito. E Charlote colocou seu boné com orelhas de lobo.
**We put on our costumes, I wanted them all to match but Charlotte was already at the stage of finding silly costumes and I couldn't find any hero costumes for the twins, so I dressed them in their pet pajamas. They are babies, they would be cute anyway. And Charlotte put on her cap with wolf ears.**
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Logo crianças começaram a passar de porta em porta pedindo doces, mesmo com a chuva.
**Soon children started going from door to door asking for sweets, even with the rain.**
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Crystal investigava e julgava cada um deles.
**Crystal investigated and judged each of them.**
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pose de @lexiicas-sims
Charlote me disse que não queria sair para pedir doces, porque também era idiota. Eu fiquei feliz no começo porquê não queria sair, mas o que eu não sabia é que se eu não fosse até a vizinhança, a vizinhança viria até mim.
**Charlotte told me she didn't want to go out and ask for candy, because she was an idiot too. I was happy at first because I didn't want to leave, but what I didn't know is that if I didn't go to the neighborhood, the neighborhood would come to me.**
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Mas os amigos de Charlote chegaram.
**But Charlotte's friends arrived.**
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Eu nem sabia que Charlote tinha amigos.
**I didn't even know Charlotte had friends.**
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Mas quando eu vi minha casa havia sido invadida por crianças...
**But when I saw my house had been invaded by children...**
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...crianças famintas.
**...hungry children.**
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Meus bebês ficaram um pouco assustados, mas não tanto quanto eu.
**My babies were a little scared, but not as scared as I was.**
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Logo não havia mais nenhuma comida.
**Soon there was no more food.**
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Confesso que eu estava um pouco irritada.
**I confess I was a little annoyed.**
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"Travessuras assustadoras (de enganar um sim) Se há algo mais divertido do que compartilhar uma piada com outra pessoa, é se divertir às custas."
Confesso que com fome eu ficava um pouco malvada.
**I confess that when I was hungry I was a little mean.**
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Eu ainda tive que aguentar uma criança de cara feia levando meu lixo para fora, o que foi?! Estava vazio antes de vocês chegarem.
**I still had to put up with a scowling kid taking my trash out, what the hell?! It was empty before you arrived.**
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Eu não tinha energias para isso.
**I didn't have the energy for it.**
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Um bebê sumiu.
**One baby disappeared.**
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Mas logo foi encontrado...
**But soon found...**
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"Não quero (por ser desafiador) Não! Não, não-não-não-não... ninguém pode me obrigar a fazer isso!"
"Açúcar agora! (de comer sobremesas) o que sobe deve descer. Neste momento o açúcar subiu e desceu e está bem baixo!"
...em uma f��ria regada a açúcar.
**...in a sugar-fueled rage.**
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Ainda bem que Baltazar sabe o que fazer...eu só queria chorar junto com as crianças.
**Good thing Baltazar knows what to do...I just wanted to cry along with the children.**
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Meu super Llama man!
**My super Llama man!**
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Charlote por algum motivo resolveu fazer sua lição de casa, será que aquela menina era a nerd da turma e estava passando as respostas para ela?
**Charlotte for some reason decided to do her homework, could it be that that girl was the nerd of the class and was giving her the answers?**
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Finalmente esses pequenos destruidores de jantar foram embora.
**Finally those little dinner wreckers are gone.**
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Até Crystal estava viciada em açúcar.
**Even Crystal was addicted to sugar.**
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Charlote descobriu sua casinha destruída...
**Charlotte discovered her little house destroyed...**
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...mas eu consegui convencer ela a dormir, amanha eu consertaria.
**...but I managed to convince her to sleep, tomorrow I'd fix it.**
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Estava tudo calmo finalmente.
**It was finally calm.**
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Eu merecia uma boa noite de sono.
**I deserved a good night's sleep.**
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dankusner · 8 months
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OPINION Myths are charming lies; facts replace them This election season, we should remember those warnings from childhood In Chapter 2 of Fyodor Dostoevsky’s novel The Brothers Karamazov , Father Zosima wisely suggests to Fyodor Pavlovich Karamazov not to lie to himself. Zosima explains that a lying man only listens to his own lies. He can’t tell the difference between his own truth and the truth that surrounds him. Father Zosima says simply that such a man ceases to love. Fyodor Karamazov was born in wealth, but was in need, all of his life, of the love he was not given as a child. He married poorly, and inherited a fortune. Karamazov was a buffoon of modest intelligence. The richer he got, the bolder he became, learning to avoid his inner loneliness and replace it with cynicism and sarcasm. While his vigor for life was powerful, he distrusted truth and found solace only in sensual pleasures and in his own treasured ego. Karamazov offered little to his three sons, except to give them the tools of arrogance and survival skills to repel what truly mattered. Fyodor Karamazov’s motto was Après moi le deluge , “After me the flood.” He ignored civic duty and grew into a paranoid, manipulating old man who ruled by fear. He publicly stated that the world may burn as far as he was concerned if the world did not bend to his truth, to his lies, to his ego, to his need for adulation, and to his desperate need to be loved. When I was a boy, my mother told me about a wonderful old myth created inside the rich Native American culture. She said that there were once seven girls playing on the prairie when a bear arrived. To save themselves the girls climbed on a rock, and because the gods took pity on the girls, the rock bulged up from the ground so the bear couldn’t reach the frightened children. The persistent bear tried to climb this steep rock, making long gashes with his claws on the side of the stone. Just when the bear was about to leap to the top of the stone and devour the girls, all seven jumped up into the sky and formed the cluster of stars that today we call Pleiades, also known as the Seven Sisters. When the mind doesn’t understand something, the mind has to come up with an explanation. My grandmother was convinced that each time an Apollo spacecraft launched through the atmosphere, the storm out her window was a consequence of the disturbance. A child who does not know what a llama is might call it a camel. When people came upon the famous Devil’s Tower in Wyoming for the first time, it was so overwhelming, and so large, that they had to come up with a way to explain its existence. So they made up the myth about the seven sisters. They filled their minds with an answer and moved on. Science kills myths. Because of geologists, we know that the Devil’s Tower is the remaining plug of a volcano. Science tells us that once the cone of the volcano eroded, the core of lava cooled and formed this column of solid rock, hence the Devil’s Tower. Ancient myths are charming lies about what people did not understand. Facts replace myths. If myths replace facts we become easily manipulated. Toward the end of The Brothers Karamazov, Father Zosima warns that a lazy man in spirit survives by sharing the devil’s words against God. T.S. Eliot’s famous poem The Hollow Men chants with power “We are the hollow men / We are the stuffed men / Leaning together / Headpieces filled with straw.” The straw man had no brain, the tin man had no heart, and the lion was a bully and a coward. Science and sages have been cautioning us for centuries to beware of hollow men, querulous leaders and big lies. In 2024, we should heed their warnings. Christopher de Vinck’s 17th book, “Things that Matter Most: Home, Friendship, and Love,” was published by Paraclete Press. He is a contributing columnist for The Dallas Morning News. Correction: A Friday op-ed about the Israel-Hamas conflict gave the incorrect date of the Egypt-Israel peace deal. That agreement was signed in 1979.
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boombambaby · 9 months
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Drabble; Move in Day
One by one, the expressionless red and blue painted faces of his Royal guards bring in box after box of his belongings, piling them against one another just outside of Pacha’s hut. They haven’t said a word to him since they arrived, and when he snapped to order one of them to pick up something that fell, they ignored him. It grates on his nerves more than he can put into words, and Kuzco quietly seethes from where he’s leaning against the fence post watching.
“That’s a lot of stuff.” Pacha quietly comments, coming to stand next to him from his place inside the llama pen. Kuzco doesn’t reply, and Pacha nudges him in the shoulder. “You know most of that’s going to have to go into the basement, right? Tipo and Chaca’s room is in the attic. It’s not that big.” It speaks volumes that Pacha is able to touch him without the defensive gesture that’s second nature by now, but it’s equal parts because it’s Pacha– who he admittedly (but only to himself) trusts with his life– and because he’s too consumed with his frustration to really register that it happened.
“You know, as Emperor, I still think I should have the biggest room.” Comes the petulant reply, more akin to that of the teenager Kuzco actually is, than the man who had been ruling the country for the last decade. He’s still staring at the guards and a scribe who accompanied the convoy, flitting around like a fly as he marks items off of a list. “I am a Royal. I need all the Royal elbow room I can get.”
Pacha levels him with a look that he purposefully ignores. “I told you, that’s our room Kuzco. It’s not gonna happen. It was either Chaca and Tipo’s room, or the basement.” The mention of the basement makes him shudder, and he finally glances away to look at the man standing beside him. “But the basement is creepy! I’m the Emperor– I can’t be staying in some musty-dusty, dark and gloomy basement! It’ll ruin my groove.” A pause, and a fleeting smile curls his lips. “And I worked really hard to get that back.”
Before Pacha has the chance to reply, a loud crash can be heard and Kuzco whips his head around to see two of the guards struggling to pull his four poster bed through the front door of Pacha’s hut.
Realistically, even he can tell it isn’t going to fit easily– but if he has to spend another night on the rock Pacha and co call a couch, he’s going to lose it.
With a scowl he darts away from the fence, heading in the direction of the hut and the two guards arguing about the best way to get his bed inside. “Hey! Be careful with that, you big lugs! That’s MY stuff you’re destroying.” They have the good sense to look chagrined, and with them finally acknowledge his presence Kuzco doesn’t hesitate to launch into a tirade about how they’re handling his things and threatens to throw them out of a window.
Pacha can only sigh, leaning against the fence with both arms and watching. It’s going to be a long day.
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