#longer cuz I wasn't really home all day

[aberooski]

Oh, no worries! I don't mind spoilers at all! (Kinda spoiled myself wogwjwhwjw) So, drop tat bomb!

Well okay then! As you wish 😌

Now strap in because this is gonna be a long and wild ride through season 3 baby! And Adrian starts out pretty tame and things ramp up as the season goes so get that seat belt ready! And I'm more of an expert on the dub so we're gonna focus on that, but I'll be poking in with a couple details from the sub ever so often too.

Extremely long post ahead y'all aksskskks

Now it all starts at the very beginning of the season. We'll get into his like back story back story later, but Adrian is a student from East Academy who comes to Duel Academy along with Jesse, Axel, and Jim and his crocodile Shirley at the start of the season as exchange students along with visiting professor Thelonious Viper from West Academy.

Now I break season 3 up into 3 separate arcs because well, that's kinda how it is. There's the Survival Duel arc, (the as I call it) Zombie Apocalypse Survival Horror arc, and of course, the Dark World arc.

Viper is the villain of the Survival Duel arc, and he's up to shady shit of course. But Adrian is the secondary antagonist for the entire season. Adrian is trying to figure out what Viper's plan is and what he's up to, but he's also trying to obtain Yubel's power, aware that Viper is in league with her. (In the dub he says he's searching for a card, but nothing really comes of that. Except you can argue for something in the zombie apocalypse arc but we're not there yet so hang on lol)(also it's really only the dub that refers to Yubel as a girl, the Japanese version Yubel is non binary I believe, but I watched the dub first so Yubel is ingrained in my brain as she/her and I'm trying to break that habit so we'll see how I do throughout this aksksksksk)

So Viper introduces the survival duels as he calls them, and has all the students wear boo bands, which he says are to monitor their dueling skills and potential and all that, but of course they're nefarious. He uses them to drain the students of their duel energy which is then absorbed by Yubel to give them the power and energy to restore their physical form, but Viper believes the energy will be used to revive his son who passed away because Yubel promised him that if he helped her that she would bring his son back to life. Adrian doesn't take part so Viper confronts him and warns him he'd better participate, Viper then raises the absorption rate of the bio bands to the max, which is strong enough to kill, so he can get rid of Adrian. So Adrian, knowing this, throws this party so a bunch of students will be dueling at once so that Viper has to turn the bio bands down so he'll like, survive.

So he throws a whole bunch of students to the wolves to ensure his own wellbeing, and he ends up dueling Chazz that night, ultimately winning the duel but since the bio bands weren't deactivated just weakened, they get their energy zapped and Chazz is in the hospital for the rest of the arc, but Adrian is able to recover and resume his mission. This is when like I mentioned, he points the J-Squad in Viper's direction. He sends them to Viper's secret fortress in the old research facility (y’know the one where Wheeler the monkey came from in season 1?) To act as decoys so and take Viper's attention so he can sneak in undetected and get into Viper's like inner sanctum moment he's got set up in there. He confronts Viper and they like actually throw hands which is kinda hilarious because for some reason they decide to do this shirtless it's like full street fighter type bullshit lolol

Adrian is apprehended by Yubel's power, and Viper goes to duel Jaden. This is where we get his like full backstory which we got a taste of during his duel with Chazz.

So as a kid Adrian was adopted by the head of the Gecko Financial Group and raised then to be the heir and inherit the company, and he's basically appointed this girl named Echo to be his friend, but of course she works for him and all that y’know. Remember her because she's important later. Eventually, Mrs. Gecko has a son, and Adrian falls to the wayside in favor of the "proper heir" to the family, and he's angry and bitter about it but commits to serving his brother and their family anyway (though in the Japanese version Adrian contemplated killing him at first 😬), and even saved him from a deadly sickness at one point. All in the hopes of getting attention for their father again kinda sorta basically. He's really only loyal to himself in the end.

Eventually he breaks free from Yubel and escapes but this is when Yubel steps in after Viper loses to Jaden, kills Viper, and then transports the school to another dimension. Thus we enter the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Horror arc.

I have a whole thing about this arc and how if you take Blair's part and switch her with Atticus it would elevate the arc by like 30 points and it's already one of my favorite arcs in the show but I digress that's not what we're talking about rn aksksk

So the school gets transported to this alternate like desert dimension where duel monsters are real and so are the life points baby! And the school has extremely limited supplies, like only a weeks worth of food, and a whole lot of students stuck there too so things are pretty dire. Yubel is also lurking around.

So things get set in motion here when Bastion appears! He got stuck in this dimension some time during the interim between this point and back in episode 96 after he left to go work with professor eisenstien. He's attacked by some harpies and Jaden, Jesse, Jim, Axel, and Adrian step in to save him, since Adrian is still pretending to be on their side. So they get Bastion to the nurse's office because he's been out in that desert for a while, he needs to rest and recoup fr but they get details from Bastion about the dimension and then the shit goes down because Yubel is looking for a vessel to possess as they don't yet have a physical form, and so targets Marcel, Bonaparte's son (except nobody knows he's his son but they're not very subtle about it so we the audience know lolol). So when Blair, who is good friends with Marcel, has him come with her a la buddy system because she has to go to the bathroom but they're hiding out in the classrooms because of the real duel monsters and all that, Yubel attacks and takes over Marcel, but injures Blair in the process.

So Jaden and Jesse find Blair and take her to Ms. Fontaine, and of course the medicine she needs to help Blair, she doesn't have. So they need to make a run out to this submarine out in the desert to search for a first aid kit and any other supplies they can find. Adrian suspects that this submarine is a Gecko vessel, because well it is, and voulenteers to go with the team so that he can go and cover his tracks so that no one finds out about his mission and motives. They split up into teams, Jaden, Jesse, Jim, Axel, and Adrian head off to search the submarine while the others stay back to guard the school. And while they're on their way during a confrontation with some monsters summoned by Yubel to bar their path, Jaden falls into like honestly an equivalent of a fucking Sarlac pit and while Axel goes in to save him and pull him out while Jesse's fending off a monster, Adrian is holding the rope to pull them out. He is literally 🤏 this close to letting go and letting both Jaden and Axel get fucking eaten and like die so they won't get in his way anymore but Jim steps in just in time and grabs ahold of the rope as well, saying "almost lost your grip, mate." With an extremely suspicious and almost warning tone. Because Jim can tell he's up to something because the eye of oricalchum that he has allows him to see into people's hearts and souls, basically showing him a person's true intentions. So he knows Adrian isn't exactly on the up and up at this point.

Once they get to the sub, they split off to search for supplies. Adrian heads off to the computer room to erase any files that have anything to do with him so no one can find out about him and his plans, which was the only reason he came with the group despite his insistence that it was to repay them for saving him when he helped them retrieve Bastion. And of course then when they regroup he's just like "sorry guys, didn't find anything 🤪 computer was fried so no intel for us 🤪" like the lying bitch he is.

So okay they escape the sub, and make it back to the school but while they were gone Yubel really fucked shit up by causing the bio bands to turn the students into zombies, or rather "Duel Ghouls", when they get enough energy zapped and the students start dropping like flies. By the time the group makes it back, Chazz and Syrus have already been turned into duel ghouls and it only keeps getting worse.

And by this point Adrian then discovers Yubel having possessed Marcel after having taken Yubel's arm and hid it in the library earlier, having joined up with her. And he's bitter over Yubel choosing Marcel over him, and it's revealed that the Sacred Beast cards are also in this dimension, having been sealed away beneath the school again after season 1. Adrian is hellbent on obtaining more and more power and like, basically ruling these alternate dimensions with them, so he pursues the cards just like everybody else. He duels Marcel over who will get the cards, but the Sacred Beasts awaken during the duel and so there's no true result.

All the while back in the real world, Pegasus is trying to create the Rainbow Dragon card as they need to transport it to the other dimension so that Jesse can then use it's power to open the portal for them to return the school and themselves back home. But Echo is trying to stop him, claiming that Adrian shouldn't come back because he deserves to rule the other dimension basically. She's so loyal to him and so convinced he's as incredible and powerful and just amazing as he also thinks he is, that she's willing to go along with his plans at any cost despite the fact that as it's revealed later, she's in love with him. Remember this for later...

Okay so Yubel obtains the cards and her own physical form again and duels Jaden after Jaden duels and defeats Marcel, and Jesse obtains the Rainbiw Dragon and joins the duel and with the power of Rainbow Dragon, they defeat Yubel and are transported back home but Jesse has to stay behind to keep the portal open.

Thus we enter the Dark World arc after blaming himself for Jesse being trapped, Jaden is in a rush to go through a dimensional tear that appears to try and find him, joined by the whole squad, and there's a whole chaos control moment that sends them all as well as Crowler, Echo, Zane, and Aster who were in the area at the time, to Dark World.

Now Adrian doesn't appear again until the end so we're gonna jump ahead. But some important context before we continue!

Dark World is basically a "you die in the game, you die in real life" situation. Because when you lose a duel there, you die. Sort of. You disappear, and in the dub they call it being sent to the stars, but in the sub they say everyone's dead even though it's revealed at the very end that they're really not, but it's just easiest to say they are. So they're dead. And so Jaden, learning this, refuses to let anybody other than himself duel to keep everyone safe but also because he's so hellbent on finding Jesse he really is just trying to charge through things and isn't being very careful or thinking things through.

Also Tania is back!! Love that for Bastion!!

Because of this, eventually Alexis, Atticus, Chazz, and Hassleberry are captured and held prisoner by Brron Mad King of Dark World to be used as sacrifices for Super Polymerization. There are actually 5 sacrifices required, but his goons fail to capture Syrus so they only have 4. This is important but we're not talking about that stuff rn. But the 5 of them are embodiments of emotions that are needed for this. Alexis (sadness), Atticus (anguish), Chazz (anger), Hassleberry (hatred), and Syrus (doubt). After Chazz gets angry af and gives Jaden the business, he's the first to go and is absorbed by this book, and Jaden is told if he attacks, his remaining friends will be sacrified as well. He's going to surrender but is forced to attack and so the remaining 3 are sacrificed as well. Also during this duel Jaden is basically told Jesse is dead which then after the deaths of the 4 of them as well, Jaden just kinda loses it and fucks Brron right up and wins the duel. He then learns Syrus is safe and is mega relieved, but Syrus is less than thrilled with what he just witnessed and he and Jaden have kinda a falling out, which is really the last straw for Jaden emotionally and he's then taken over by the spirit of the Supreme King.

Jim, Axel, and Syrus end up separated and while Jim and Axel are searching for Jaden, they learn about the Supreme King, then find out that it's really Jaden, Jim gives the backstory about his eye, duels Supreme King to try and save Jaden, gets literally 🤏 this close but is defeated and fails and dies along with Shirley who jumped into the duel to try and protect Jim from the final attack. Axel is horribly shaken by this and gives in to his fear and runs away and is haunted by Jim's death, and it takes Syrus and some other shit to convince him that he really is brave and is a hero and he can do this! He can help! So he organizes a whole attack on the Supreme King's fortress to save Jaden, even covering the tracks of making sure that Jesse is searched for and the information comes to him at the perfect time that Jesse is alive. Axel, Syrus, and also Aster and Zane go to the fortress and Axel duels Supreme King, and ultimately causes the duel to end in a draw and having both gotten through to Jaden by telling him Jesse was alive and by using the eye of orichachum left behind in the wake of Jim's death, Supreme King is sealed away inside Jaden but Axel is sent to the stars. This leads us to the next Adrian plot. And the worst most disgusting thing anyone in that whole show does.

Wondering what to do next and waiting for Jaden to recover, the group is reunited with Crowler, and then subsequently meets Echo, who's been with Crowler all this time. Aster discovers a locket on the ground and after examining it, comes to the conclusion it's Echo's based on the photo of Adrian inside. Aster kinda teases her lighthearted about it and after coming to the conclusion he doesn't know how she feels, Echo says that she could never tell him and doesn't want Adrian to know because he "doesn't need another distraction." As she truly believes he is destined to rule this world and wants him to become king, and doesn't want to hold him back with her feelings. As she truly believes he always puts others before himself, and says she would do anything to see him fulfil his destiny. She even calls Adrian their "better", claiming he is stronger, smarter, and kinder than any of them.

Adrian at this point, has obtained the 5 pieces of Exodia, which had been being used previously by Marcel while he was under Yubel's control, and is attempting to unlock the seal on Exodia so that he can gain the power to rule Dark World, resolving to do so he must become completely ruthless and allow nothing to stand in his desire to rule the world. But to break the seal, someone has to offer up their duel energy willingly. But who could he find who would do that for him.....? And so he sets his sights on Echo. Knowing that her loyalty and feelings for him will allow him to convince her to offer herself up to Exodia.

So the group gets transported to the cave where Exodia's seal is, and when Adrian reveals himself, everyone is on edge. He reveals that he chose to stay behind having not come back with them from the first dimension, and Jaden realizes that he's now in league with Yubel, having the creepy Yubel arm that Viper and Marcel had when under Yubel's power. He covers it before Echo can see, and smiles at her. Claiming it's good to see her. She's unnerved and takes a step back, but he just smiles darkly and comes forward, telling her to come with him and grabs her arm. She says he's scaring her and she doesn't want to go with him, but he insists. Saying "that wasn’t a request!" And kinda forcefully pulls her forward.

Aster is angered by this and steps up, demanding Adrian leave her alone. Adrian warns him to stay out of this, saying that this is between him and Echo but Aster won't back down, saying it's not anymore and again to leave her alone. "Didn't you hear what she just said? She doesn't wanna go anywhere with you!"

To which Adrian turns to Echo all "is that so?" Then just goes right to town with his manipulation.

"Don't you want the best for me, Echo? I can't do it alone. Without you, I can't achieve greatness." All the while smiling at her. "I need you. Won't you help?" And tells her that I'm order to be king, he needs her duel energy, knowing full well that if he tells her it'll help him, she'll do it. Aster challenges Adrian to a duel to defend Echo and thus they duel before Exodia's seal.

During the duel, Adrian activates the Ritual of The Ultimate Forbidden Lord spell card to unlock the seal, and claims that to break Exodia's seal, he must sacrifice the duel energy of someone close to him. Telling Echo that he can't do this without her. He of course, has her wrapped around his finger and he knows it, so she's cooperating. Aster objects, and even Mr. Edgelord Supreme himself, Zane, admits that he'd do anything to win a duel but he'd never cross this line. Aster begs her to stop because Adrian is just using her, but her devotion to Adrian gets the best of her and she steps into the light.

Aster's furious with Adrian, and we get a whole "how could you do this to her??" Moment because Adrian fully knows that doing this will kill her. And we get a line that goes SO fucking hard from Aster: "You may never see her again! And the only things you're gonna have left, will be her memory and Exodia! Is it really worth all that?? Is it!?"

BRO THAT SHIT GOES S O HARD IN THE EPISODE LIKE FUCK DUDE!!

Echo has a little thought bubble where she claims that she knows by her doing this, Adrian will achieve the power he deserves, and is scooped up by Exodia and like, it hurts her. She's actually screaming for real, like she screams in the backgrounda couples times throughout the rest of this. It's harrowing. Adrian of course doesn't give a FUCK and when Aster tries to stop the duel Adrian's like "heh, nah 🤪" and continues on with the duel, draining Echo's duel energy more and more.

Aster keeps demanding Adrian let Echo go, but Adrian only says that her duel energy now belongs to Exodia, and that nothing will stop him from ruling this world! Jaden declares that Adrian had been taken over by darkness like he was, only caring about power and not at all who he has to hurt to get it. But Adrian claims that he was always like this and is just finally showing his true colors. Who he really is.

And so we get another BANGER of a line from Aster.

"Is that right? Did Echo know who you really were? Or did she do all this for the person she thought you were!?"

Adrian literally says nothing, and then tells Aster not to feel sorry for her because she knew he had to let this side out to fulfil his destiny.

The duel continues and Echo's duel energy is ultimately spent. She drops her pendant with Adrian's picture in it, and Aster is upset by this. Basically her spirit appears to him and apologizes for him being caught up in this, telling him that all she wanted was to prove to Adrian she'd do anything for him. Telling him also that despite everything that's happened here, it's all for the best. And after he asks her how she can say that after what Adrian did to her, she disappears, and she dies. Like straight up dead. Actually for real dead. Adrian literally killed her for Exodia.

And so Adrian summons Exodia, defeating Aster who implores the others escape before it's too late, telling Jaden when he object that it's too late for him now. So the escape and Aster is now fake dead while Echo is real dead, and Adrian rides off on Exodia entirely unbothered by any of that shit because he's the actual worst ever.

Adrian then goes to challenge Yubel, who is now possessing Jesse, so he can rule the world since having Exodia makes him powerful enough to stand against them. Yubel mocks Adrian by telling him that he'll be all alone because the only person who ever cared about him is gone, and further mocks him when he says Echo is still with him because of her memory, claiming that from experience Yubel can confidently say Echo would rather be by his side. Echo's spirit however, still watches over Adrian as she's loyal to him even in death, and Yubel realizes the darkness she needs isn't in Adrian, it's in Echo, her spirit having combined with his deck after he sacrificed her duel energy. Yubel takes Echo's lingering darkness and uses it to restore their power and ultimately defeats Adrian. But before he dies, Adrian cries out that he's sorry to Echo, but it's too late. And he's also straight up for real dead. Which he fucking deserves that piece of shit.

(Also in the Japanese version he just calls out her name before he dies.)

And oh lord, that took forever but this is the tea on Adrian. He's the worst. He's kinda a regular by the numbers secondary antagonist at first, but the shit he does to Echo is just the most disgusting thing. Truly the worst thing anyone does in GX in my opinion. He's horrible and deserves everything he gets. Which is death. He and Echo are the only 2 that for real die in Dark World, almost in the whole season but Yubel kills Viper earlier so y'know. I may be a bit biased because I hate his fucking guts, as do we all in my personal experience, but Adrian deserves it.

A truly despicable human being.

[yuusishi]

. . . exchange student drama !

synopsis : you get chosen as the exchange student from NRC to NBC ! How will these two take it…?

pairings : Malleus Draconia , Rollo Flamme (sep.) x gn!reader

genre : fluff & angst, can be read as platonic

a/n : this has literally been in my drafts since Rollo’s SSR EN release and I only finished it cuz my math class was so stupidly boring 😭 I may have gone a little overboard with Rollo’s part :3

ROLLO FLAMME !!

Upon the announcement during an orientation at Noble Bell College, his face remained stoic, but a feeling of excitement overcame him for a split second when he heard your name as one of the transferees for the exchange event.

Rollo won’t admit it, but you caught his attention during you and your unfortunate mage friends’ stay at the college. Your curiosity with the city brought him a special joy, especially coming from a non-magic user from an entirely different world.

There is a slight chance he’ll try to indoctrinate you into his beliefs of hating magic and all its users. I mean, what can you really expect from him after what happened at Fleur City?

It was hard to get along with him after that entire spectacle, even harder to avoid him since he’s the student council member assigned to watch over you during your stay. He’s prideful and judgmental, though you noticed he shows that side of him slightly less when he’s with you.

He shows his care through actions that can be justified as “just the work of the student council president” such as reminding you to eat during lunch breaks, walking you to your classes, and making sure you get to your dorm room safely. He never dares to show anything that can seem beyond simple formalities.

Rollo knows better than anyone that you’re, at the very least, displeased with his actions and would prefer he stay as the student council president when interacting with you. So he does, he doesn’t try to entertain or be overly friendly with you unless you make the first move.

Though occasionally if ever you choose to sit next to him in the courtyard during lunch, he would let his curiosity get the better of him and start asking you what your home world was like.

When it's time for you and the other exchange students to leave and return to NRC, he walks you to the mirror of the school. He's just there to bid farewell as the student council president is what he says to himself.

But he can't shake off even the smallest feeling of sadness watching you pass through the glass back to your rightful school.

MALLEUS DRACONIA !!

Oh, he was utterly miserable. If it wasn't for Lilia's intervening there would've been thunderstorms around the school for the entire week you were gone.

(that's probably a hyperbole but we never know with this man)

He, obviously, still attended to class and his duties as a housewarden like normal. He can't just neglect them because he was missing someone. There was just a strange air of melancholy that surrounded him whenever one of the diasomnia students or even any one of Lilia, Sebek, and Silver came up to him.

His nightly walks around ruins and ramshackle lasted a little longer than usual, trying to take in the scenery to tell you about any changes he observed once you've returned. You would want to hear about anything new outside your home, right?

If he's not particularly busy he goes around Sage's Island in search of any new ruins to take you to, an indirect way of saying “welcome back, I missed you”.

He's constantly debated with himself whether it would be better to leave the history of the place to discover together or to learn it in advance and tell you during your walk there.

By the third out of seventh day you were gone, he has 100% resorted to writing you love letters (that he won't be sending, he knows you're coming back anyways). He's just silly and misses you like that.

But once you're back he's beyond overjoyed. He won't be tackling you once you pass through the mirror, he still has to maintain his reputation as the prince of briar valley and diasomnia's housewarden, but he will be requesting more of your time than usual. Maybe even a little clingier if either of you spends the night at each others’ dorms, his hug just being a little bit tighter and basically latched onto you once you’re both off in bed cuddling.

[genshin-obsessed]

Breaking Up hcs | Genshin & HSR

Have I done this before? I know I made that "what if we broke up?" post but I don't think I've done break up hcs before? I hope not anyway cuz i'm doing them now! Also, maybe I went overboard a little cuz even I felt bad lol and I usually don't feel sad when I write angst.

Characters: Aether, Diluc, Wanderer, Caelus, Jing Yuan, and Aventurine (lol I'ma try)

☽ Aether

That break up took a toll on him, more so than even he thought at first. Sleeping became his least favorite activity because he was constantly seeing your faces in his dreams. Constantly.

The entirety of Teyvat fell apart for the short time their favorite errand boy refused to do anything for them. Honestly, Aether didn't do anything for the first week or so. He was barely eating, barely sleeping, barely alive.

It was hard adventuring too, Paimon no longer wanted him to go because sometimes he'd just get distracted and take unnecessary hits. It was kinda bad. Eventually, she got Katheryne to no longer give him any combat requests because he just wasn't doing good enough.

All he wanted to do was talk to you, but you didn't want to talk to him, so that led him to just remaining in his teapot alone. He didn't even allow visitors for a short while. Paimon did her best to try and comfort him, but there were so few words that could actually get through that sorrow he was dealing with.

It took maybe a month before he allowed people to come visit him and under no circumstances were they allowed to bring you up. Mainly because he'd cry. Everyone did try in their own way to help him, even people like Wanderer or Arlecchino tried to give him some "words of wisdom". It... didn't work mainly because Aether wasn't receptive to it anymore.

☽ Diluc

He really did busy himself with work like he said he would. It's almost all hours of the day. He's rarely even seen at home anymore.

Ironically, Diluc is still very careful about getting hurt because if he did, then he'd need to remain at home and be on bed rest and he genuinely couldn't handle that.

He no longer sleeps in his bed either. Usually, he comes home later, collapses on the couch for a few hours until some dream about you wakes him up and he's back to work. He can't stand sleeping in that bed because you used to lay right beside him.

No one, I mean no one, is allowed to even say your name. Truth be told, Diluc is barely hanging on by a thread, someone saying your name and bringing your image to his mind's eye would ruin him.

Even Kaeya doesn't tease him. Actually, Kaeya keeps away because Diluc is quite irritable and not many people wanted to deal with that. While they understood the break up upset him... it was just too much.

☽ Wanderer

Oh boy. Breaking up with him was hard because he was angry and yelling (at the situation apparently), and just saying no. Eventually though, he relented and agreed. You didn't want to be with him and... well, it wasn't right to force you.

The aftermath was pretty bad. He was angry, didn't want to talk to anyone, and just up and vanished for a while. It wasn't until Aether and Paimon accidentally stumbled upon him while adventuring that they learned a little about what happened.

(W/n) explained that he never thought he'd lose you. Out of all the people he was "friendly" with, he never thought you would up and leave the way you did. It broke his heart- a heart he didn't even know started beating again.

Aether offered for (w/n) to join him on some adventures to just take his mind off of things and he, surprisingly, agreed. But it wasn't the same. Both Paimon and Aether noticed the lack of energy.

He was also constantly in his own mind. Most conversations happened between Aether and Paimon because (w/n) would just mentally check out and not even be paying attention. He didn't break down and cry physically but emotionally, he was a wreck. But it was so bad, he didn't know what to do. Cry, scream, try and take over the world, he didn't know.

What he did know was that the world didn't feel right without you.

☆ Caelus

You lived on the Astral Express with him and the others. Everyone thought you were the cutest couple and everywhere you went, you two received the same compliments. So, he definitely fell apart a little when you just up and ended the relationship.

The worst part was that he couldn't have time away from you. Not in the mean sense, but if you two were breaking up, he needed (for his own mental health) not to see you every single day. But... that wasn't possible.

It was extremely awkward for everyone on board. Welt and Himeko tried their best to keep things normal, the conductor did their best to keep conversations going, and Dan Heng just didn't bother coming out of his room. Caelus took a page from Dan Heng's books and just locked himself away for like two weeks.

When it was finally time for him to come out, he took time off of the express, choosing to go visit some old friends to regain some of that normalcy. Jarilo VI was where he spent most of his time as he hadn't been there in a while. He stayed there without the others for maybe two or so weeks, finding ample time to spend with Natasha, Seele, Bronya, Serval, and Gepard.

While he didn't openly state you two broke up, everyone knew. He did go and visit the Xianzhou which Dan Heng did join him in doing which was a good bonding experience for the two. It was when he finally opened up about losing you. According to Caelus, everything felt so wrong. Like a part of him was missing and that part was so close to his reach. But every single day, he had to pretend like it wasn't.

☆ Jing Yuan

He really didn't know what to do at the moment. He kinda stopped paying attention after you said you wanted to end the relationship. He tried to convince you otherwise, saying that breaking up wouldn't give him the chance to fix it but you were pretty adamant. He couldn't just say no... so he said ok and you were gone.

He tried to act normal. He did his job normally for the first day and that's when it all started to fall apart. The second he had time alone, it just hit him so painfully. You thought him losing his old friends was painful? This was a whole new level.

The second day, he couldn't really perform his duties as well and just handed them off to the first person he saw. Yanqing was most worried and desperately tried to get anyone's help because he didn't know what to do. It led him straight to the Astral Express and unsurprisingly, no one knew what to do.

Jing Yuan didn't even want help, honestly. He'd been hurting for years carrying the memories he did, so what was one more painful one? Maybe it was some sort of divine justice? Jing Yuan wasn't the most upstanding man, right? So he probably deserved this. What right did he have to just go and fix it?

Caelus did end up finding him out and about once, having the chance to share tea with Jing Yuan. The general explained he didn't know how to fix anything anymore. While it wasn't healthy to live life this way, it was his punishment probably. Caelus' concern led him to ask that burning question: why?

"I should've done better. Treated them better... maybe then... I'd still have them."

☆ Aventurine

He almost didn't register the words that came out of your mouth. You... break up with him? You were talking, explaining why, but he couldn't really follow. It's like his brain just stopped working and all he could think was 'this wasn't supposed to happen'.

At the end of it, you were gone and he was alone. Aventurine expected betrayal in his line of work, but he never expected it from you. Your "deal" with him was special. It wasn't like his normal deals. It was one that you two emerged equally victorious and no one lost anything. Right?

Even Ratio had pity for him. Aventurine waltzed around as if nothing happened but there was such a dramatic shift in his personality. He said the same things he always did, he acted as if he always did, but there was a distinct bitterness when he spoke of being let down.

When he told people to make use of him, there was a hint of resentment laced in his words. While he claimed he expected to be exploited at some point, there was still a twinge of fear. It never hurt before but for some reason, it scared him now.

He did briefly open up to Ratio, who was just berating him as usual, and it even took him by surprise. Aventurine didn't say much, but he did say how he figured everyone in the world to want to set him on fire for one reason or another. He just didn't expect it would be you to light the flame. Veritas called him an idiot and said you had every right to leave, which Aventurine wholeheartedly agreed with.

You did have every right to leave. You just didn't have the right to take whatever made him feel normal.

[delewlew]

i'll kick your ass, verstappen: max verstappen x black fem! reader

request: HEYYYYYYY could you do a max x fem reader when he gets jealous really bad over one of your male friends please. Love your stories keep going 🤍🤍

warnings: jealousy, slight swearing, google translated dutch

author's note: i hope you like this, i lowkey fried my brain trying to make sure i was confident enough to post this...still trying to convince myself. also the title isn't as cute cuz my gradient thingie wasn't working so it'll be plain...sorry bout that. as always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated as well <3

you were in second grade when you met your best friend, nikolaas, after he moved to your school. you were assigned to be his class buddy to help him get comfortable at the new school. the two of you attended the same school all the up to university so you weren't ever really apart from one another. the two of you learned to swim and ride bikes together as little kids. he was there when you went on your first date with the cute guy in your calculus class at the ice rink near your home, and he was there to take you to the hospital when you broke your ankle right after. you were there to help him learn to slow dance before he went to his first formal dance with a girl that wasn't you. he was there to teach you how to walk in that pair of So Kate's you bought without realizing maybe there was a reason nobody but zendaya dared to wear those godforsaken heels. you were there to coach him through confessing his feelings to his first boyfriend. the two of you had experienced so much of your lives beside one another that your relationship wasn't shaken when it was time to move away from home. years passed and he was a professional model travelling the world while you were working as an architect, living in monaco.

since living in monaco you'd been promoted, moved to a nicer apartment, completed a huge project with your team, and met your boyfriend. you met max at an event you'd been invited to courtesy of your own personal connections. from the moment he laid eyes on you, he knew you there was something different about you from other women he's met in the past. that night, you both exchanged numbers and he'd convinced you to go on a date with him shortly after.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

for the first time since you'd moved to monaco, your best friend had finally been able to take time to come visit you. he'd flown in two days ago and was staying at your apartment for a bit longer before flying out to korea for some event he was invited to. you sat on your bed and he sat across from you painting a fresh coat of nail polish over his nails since the ocean water chipped it off earlier today. his hand shook slightly as he painted his fingers and your voice cut through the silence, "nikko i swear to god if you get black nail polish on my bed i'll kill you." he looked up through his long, thick, black eyelashes and muttered, "je bent letterlijk de meest dramatische persoon die ik ooit heb ontmoet." you rolled your eyes and huffed, "whatever you love me and you know it." he cracked a smile through the focused glare he held while looking at his fingers, "yeah yeah...speaking of love, how's your man?" [you're literally the most dramatic person i've ever met]

you smiled at the thought of max and answered, "he's really good. the season has treated him well for the most part and he's happy with how things are. we're going back home for his next race so i'm excited i'll be able to see both of our families, and i'm gonna try to stop by your place to see your mom if she's there." he shook his head while keeping his eyes on his nails, "m'ma is in suriname until september because she's visiting granm'ma and granp'pa." your frowned and asked, "were you supposed to go home with her?" nikko nodded and shrugged, "it's alright though, i think i'll be able to make it down there for christmas so it's fine. plus you can see her in september when she comes back." a smile tugged on his lips and he continued, "that is if you want to come see me walk at new york, paris, milan, or london fashion week this year." you nearly tackled him into a hug and screeched, "NO FUCKING WAY- NIKKO?! YOU BOOKED ALL FOUR?!" he laughed and wrapped his arm around you in a hug, "yup i'm booked and busy this year!"

you immediately promised, "i'm going to be at every single show." your best friend nodded, "already reserved your tickets for everything." there was a beat of silence before he asked, "wait isn't max still racing in september- i don't want to make you miss those especially because you missed miami for the met gala with me." this was true, you'd flown to new york city to be nikko's plus one for the met gala but max told you he didn't mind and was happy you were going. without a second thought, only thinking of how exciting this was for your best friend, you waved off his worry, "it'll be fine. besides max likes you."

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

"i don't fucking like this guy." max huffed as he scrolled though his instagram because you posted something. he looked at his screen and clenched his jaw seeing the post you'd made with your best friend.

therealyn

liked by nikko, maxverstappen1, and 643,943 others

therealyn baby's first time in monaco <3

read all 5,423 comments

nikko i wish i could stay longer :(

⤷ therealyn don't forget me when ur famous

sza cuties

⤷ therealyn omg i love you

username1 why is he so close?

⤷ username2 they've been friends since they were 7 and nikko moved to the netherlands from suriname. y/n was his first friend and they've grown up together. don't try to start something out of nothing.

⤷ username3 GET EM SIS

⤷ username4 ngl i kinda see what username1 means...if you look back at some other posts they've made with each other they're way closer than i'd consider to be best friends. i mean i personally wouldn't be that close with my guy bsf knowing i have a man.

⤷ username4 that man is a walking pride flag be so fr rn

⤷ username1 im just saying he's a little close to her. plus she's already missed a race so she can go see him, and i guarantee you she'll do the same again when fashion week comes around.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

reading the comments didn't ease max's mind whatsoever but he did catch a few that did make him realize that maybe you were just being a supportive best friend. he'd had friends go to things to support him in the past and he's done the same for them so why does he feel so...weird when you do the same? he'd managed brush off the feelings he had until he checked your story and clicked on the post you'd shared:

nikko

liked by therealyn, gucci, and 1,235,099 others

nikko but none of them will ever love you the way i do it's me and you

view all 10,302 comments

therealyn and as the years go by our friendship will never die

kendalljenner beauties

username6 ...why is he holding her like that.

⤷ username7 i think they're together? i always saw their posts together and assumed

⤷ username8 NO THEY'RE NOT TOGETHER THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS PLS DON'T START RUMORS SHE IS DATING MAX VERSTAPPEN

username9 this look a little....

username10 yall are so weird. literally every interaction nikko has with a girl looks like this, look it up and you'll see he's holding everyone's hand, wrapping their arms around them. it's just how he is pipe down.

username11 THE CAPTION? NIKOLAAS UR BOLD FOR THAT ONE

username12 ngl i kinda wanna see them as a couple

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

max fought to control his facial expressions when you called him excited to tell him about going to support nikko at the big 4 fashion weeks. he watched as your eyes sparkled, "he's already reserved the seat in my name at all of his shows too! this is so great he's always wanted to walk in these shows and now he's got the chance. i want september to already be here." max frowned at the mention of the month, "schat- i'm still racing in september though?" you explained, "well yeah it's just singapore and azerbaijan that i'll have to miss but i'll be at the rest." max bit the inside of his cheek, "didn't you already see him walk in new york back in may? you missed miami for it remember?" you smiled, "babe that was the met gala, that was different. this is actual fashion shows not a red carpet."

when max was still silent you asked, "why don't you seem happy doe nikko?" he took a small exhale to not raise his voice or seem too annoyed, "it's good for the guy i mean this is a big deal as a model. i just...sometimes i think he's just a little too close?" you frowned and you asked, "what do you mean? you've never had a problem with him before?" max sighed and admitted, "i'm just saying there's no reason why other people should be questioning our relationship status when you're with other people. why is he holding you like i hold you?" you couldn't even find the right words for a moment, "i- i- he....max you've seen the way he acts around everyone. he's a touchy guy and he always has been. why are you now bothered that he holds me? it's nothing new."

max let out another annoyed huff and snapped, "just tell him to watch himself." you couldn't even say anything before he hung up the phone on you and left you stunned to a silence. just then your phone pinged and it was another instagram notification:

nikko just posted a story!

there wasn't even a point in trying to ask nikolaas to delete the story because he was on a flight to korea right now which means he just posted it before the plane took off. so all you had to do was hope maybe max wouldn't see it because although you had no issue with the photo, you knew right now your boyfriend would.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

the instagram story made it's way to his eyes in less than 5 minutes after it was posted. so, max didn't hesitate to open his own photo gallery and select a few pictures before posting them himself, he pasted a caption from the ones you'd saved in his notes and posted it before turning off his phone.

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, f1wags, and 649,779 others

maxverstappen1 mijn

view all 3,402 comments

therealyn answer your phone

username13 HE'S MAD HE SEEN THE POSTS

username14 max....

charles_leclerc mate, you posted on your main

⤷ maxverstappen1 i know.

⤷ charlesleclerc oh!

oscarpiastri i feel like i wasn't supposed to see some of these

⤷alex_albon i don't think any of us were...

⤷ therealyn you werent.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

hot tears stung the corners of your eyes as you stared at your phone knowing full well why max posted the photos he did. you knew that he got jealous every now and again but he'd never done anything like this, especially when it came to nikolaas because he knew how close he was to you. max wasn't answering your phone calls or text messages so you had no way to actually call him.

meanwhile max was in his apartment on his sim when he heard a knock at his door. when he opened it he saw lando standing on his doorstep before he pushed his way into his apartment. max asked, "why are you in my apartment?" lando shook his head and countered, "why are you posting shit like this online?" a smug grin tugged at max's lips and he answered, "you know why."

lando sat on max's couch and responded, "i don't know why. what i do know is your girlfriend called me crying asking me why you weren't answering her calls." max huffed, "she's busy playing with that guy." lando ran a hand through his curls, "you're jealous of her best fucking friend? are you being serious right now?" max rolled his eyes and lando continued, "the guy wears nail polish and face glitter and you think something is going on between them?" when there was silence lando continued, "mate he literally flirted with charles and asked for his number when he came to zandvoort last year. then told alex that she had good taste because he wanted to quote 'drink him up and sop up the rest with a biscuit. and you think there's any way that something is happening with y/n? you can be jealous but if your girlfriend says there's no reason to worry then you should trust her. you need to fix this before something actually happens that can't be fixed." lando slapped max on the shoulder before walking out the door and heading back to his apartment.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

it was nearly 3 am when max unlocked the front door to your apartment and slipped in quietly, kicking off his shoes and leaving them by your front door. he pulled back the door and grabbed one of his t shirts and took off his pants before climbing in your bed. he pulled you closer to him and wrapped his arm around your torso. when you moved his arm off of you he knew you were awake so he mumbled, "schat..." you answered plainly, "wat wil je, max?" your boyfriend pressed a kiss to your shoulder and responded, "i'm sorry. i was wrong and i was immature and posting those pictures knowing you had them in our private folder was wrong." there was a momentary silence before you asked, "waarom heb je het dan gedaan?" he let out a deep sigh as he admitted, "i was jealous and only thinking about myself in the moment instead of thinking about how my actions would affect you as well. i never want to hurt you or be the reason for your pain, but i was so i'm sorry." [what do you want, max? // then, why did you do it?]

you felt his hand run over your arm gently as you asked, "wat ga je doen om het te repareren?" max answered, "well i deleted the post first and came here to apologize second. also i'd love to see you go to london, paris, new york, and milan to support nikko in september. i'll be waiting at home for you the minute you get back." you turned to face him and opened your eyes, finding his gaze in the darkness. bringing your hand to his cheek you asked, "i never want you to think that anyone stands a chance at competing with you for my heart, maxie. you are my person and i only love you this way, i only want to be with you. there's only you in my heart and i need you to trust me when i say that, okay?" max leaned into your touch and nodded, before you pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, "i love you." he pulled you to his chest and tangled his legs with yours as he replied, "ik houd ook van jou." you nuzzled closer to him and brought a hand to his chest, tracing small patterns over his heart. both of you began to drift off to sleep, your voice cut through the silence, "but do that shit again and i'm kicking your ass, verstappen." max let out a small chuckle and admitted, "i don't doubt that, but you don't have to worry about it happening again." [what are you going to do to fix it?//i love you too.]

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

the end.

[c0smoshit]

Back home with you˚₊﹅

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ≫ Leon S Kennedy/Reader

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕝𝕠𝕥 ≫ Giving Leon a comforting massage on the bathtub after what happened in Spain <3

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ≫ fluff, slight suggestive(?), kissing, bath with lots of massages, just tired Leon coming back home

⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ Short fluffy fic for Leon cuz I miss him so much. Sorry if there are like, a lot of spelling mistakes wrote this at 2 am lol. Not proofread !!

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ≫ 1.804

Spain, a place you've learned to hate the moment Leon had stepped outside of your door a few nights earlier.

Couldn't the goverment leave him fucking alone for once? He already survived Raccoon City not so long ago. Why did he, out of all people, had to rescue the president's daughter??

You missed him, he was only gone for a few hours and you already wanted him back home with you, safe. After all the countless nights you had woken up to him sweating and breathing quickly just because he had a nightmare with Raccon City.

You had met him a year after the incident yet he couldn't get over it, not even six years later. And you didn't blame him, he was just a rookie cop whose luck wasn't at it's peak. He had told you everything, from Marvin to Sherry and that weird giant guy. At first he wasn't so talkative with the matter but the longer you had told him to just let it out, the more he told you about his worst nightmare. God and the things he saw, you sometimes wondered if he was just exaggerating, but the way he spoke, his voice toned down and that glint in his eyes. He wasn't lying, he knew that what he had seen sounded like some sci-fi shit, but it was real. He wished he was lying.

You sat down on your sofa after you had finished your dinner, picking up your phone. He hadn't answer any of your calls and you were starting to get worried. He always picked the phone if it was you, it didn't matter if he was working, filling some papers or if he was busy talking with his boss.

What if something had happened to him? God it had been almost 2 days since he left and he promised you that he'd be home before you could even blink.

You tried to stay positive, he already had survived a zombie apocalipse before and this was just some random village in Spain... right?

Hours passed, it was already dark outside, the moonlight bathing your living room as you sat there patiently waiting. You wanted to do something special when he came back, something that could take the stress out of him. A bath came into your mind, he loved baths, the feeling of the warm water washing away all the dirt and relaxing his sore muscles. Yeah, he probably wanted that but you wanted to do something else for him.

A ruffling of keys disturbed your thoughs. Quickly getting up from your seated position you rushed to the door, not even putting on your slippers as you opened the door. It was really him, finally back home.

"Leon! "

Your squeal filled his ears huffing when you launched yourself into his arms, hugging him tightly. He was so happy to be here with you again, being able to feel you, breathe you in.

He returned the hug, securing his arms around your waist as he smiled softly while looking down to see your face smashed into his chest. He found it a cute gesture, hell, everything about you was cute, waiting for him at this hour of the night.

"You're not asleep"

He mumbled out and you pulled off him to face him, eyes finally locking again.

"Of course not, I was waiting for you dummie"

Your sweet voice was like taking a wiff of fresh air for him, he had waited so long to hear you again. But he felt a bit guilty, you should be getting some rest now, not waiting for him to come back home. That was one of the many cons he mentally listed about his job, it kept him away from you, sometimes for days or even weeks.

He couldn't bear the loss of your soft touch, your voice, your hair, your smell. Everything about you was perfect to his eyes and the nights he had spent alone at work, without your sweet reassuring whispers and the way you drew soothing circles on his back whenever he couldn't sleep, it made him crazy. He couldn't sleep without you, not as deep as you managed to drive him into Cloud 9.

"Why haven't you answered your phone? I was dead worried about you"

Right... his phone. With all the fights he got involved into in Spain, he wasn't surprised when his phone had dissapeared from his pocket. And he knows he should've called you, maybe someone could lend him their phone but he wanted to hear your voice as soon as possible, coming from your mouth and not some stupid device.

"I'm sorry baby, I must have lost it, I should have called you"

You shook your head telling him not to worry that he was here with you afterall. He felt himself being yanked inside your shared home and into the bathroom, your hands quickly unfastening his belt.

"Woah, I didn't think you missed me so much"

His smirk made your cheeks heat, cheeky bastard.

"You're taking a bath first"

You replied in his same teasing tone as you smiled back. You began filling the bathtub, putting some relaxing lavender bath salts inside. He got his shirt off his hand falling on your waist as he pulled your back into him by your belly, kissing your shoulder.

"I missed you"

His whispered words made your heart clench, you finally had your blonde back with you. You leant into his touch, now both of his hands enveloped your waist and his kisses travelled higher until they met your neck. He really missed you, he missed your kisses and god those hands of yours, he just wanted to hug you and smoosh every part of your body until he died. Giggling you pulled him off you, looking at the water.

"Water's ready"

You whispered out before placing a kiss into his lips, chuckling when he chased your lips again. He tossed the rest of his clothes off, getting inside of the water before you could even take a glance of his body. The water splashed a bit as he laid down inside of the tub, letting out a satisfied sigh as soon as the warm water made contact with his body.

Poor baby, he must have fought countless monsters or whatever the hell was in Spain. He had scratches and bruises that were already starting to heal on his body, you ran your hand through one of them before slowly kissing it, earning a small smile from him.

You adored kissing his skin, his bruises and his scars. He had been through a lot, kissing him just made you feel as if you were taking away all those bad times he had to risk his life in order to see you again.

You grabbed a sponge and poured some soap on it, rubbing it slowly over his arms first, carefully getting all the sweat off him. Trailing your sponge to his chest you smiled when he squirmed a bit when you reached his neck, slightly tickling him.

You were so good to him, taking care of him no matter how late it was or how tired you were. You were always there for him. He often thought that god himself had made you cross his path on purpose, made you just for him. You were there when he needed you the most, when he needed someone to lend him a shoulder for him to rest in, arms that wrapped around him so warmly. He never really thought he could have fallen in love with someone as hardly as he did with you, hell he thought he never could have fallen in love with someone after all the shit he had been through.

Soon your hands washed all his body, giving him soft kisses in the process, enjoying how he relaxed under your touch. You liked the feeling of his soaked skin touching yours, it was just so intimate, a cute gesture between the both of you.

It was silent there, the only sound that was heard was the movement of the water and the sponge rubbing his body so tenderly. He could get lost in this feeling, and this this was his favourite thing about his job, probably the only one.

You placed the sponge down, resting your head on your arm as you leant into the tub. You were sitting down beside him, your arms were soaked up and with little bubbles lingering on top of your skin. You both closed your eyes, breathing softly and just enjoying your quality time together for once.

Your hands found his right arm, lifting it up and off the water, looking at how the water trickled his skin. Starting by the forearm you began massaging it, making sure all the knots were freed from his muscles. He was literally up in the clouds right now, his arms ached, everything ached. And he was lucky he had such a precious girlfriend who also gave the best massages in the world, he adored your hands, how they worked magic with him.

"You're perfect darling"

He slurred out, so lost in the feeling to even pronounce what he said. You just smiled like a dork, chuckling a bit at his blissed out state, getting back to work on his hands now. You drew straight and firm lines on the longitude of his muscles, focusing on putting preassure on them as you rubbed your fingers up and down on his skin. He had calloused hands, a pretty normal feature thanks to the hard training he had to do with Krausser. He also was veiny, and he had thick ones too, poking out of his skin in a bluish colour. But his hands were pretty, you thought as you slid your fingers over his smooth fingers.

He was your priority right now, and you weren't going to stop until every muscle had softened up inside of him. You just wanted to make him feel good after all the stress he had to be under in that stupid mission. You kissed his hand after you finished, pecking it softly before grabbing his other arm.

He packed such strong arms, he was a tough guy after all. And that made him perfect, the way he could hold you up on his arms without any sign of pain for as long as you wanted to, how he enveloped your entire stomach with his massive arm, god he was so perfect.

He still had his eyes closed when you had finished, resting on the side of the tub as you watched his slow breathing. He was finally here with you.

[uriwoos2]

gentle with me ☼ ִֶָ · (lsh)

pairing: bf!riwoo x gn!reader. genre: fluff, hurt/comfort. overview: soft, gentle bf riwoo <3 who comforts you, when ur feeling down. word count: 1.8k warnings: the reader is dealing with some unpleasant thoughts. they both have unusual nicknames for each other. idk it's cute, ok? ♡ note: got the urge to write this boyfie riwoo fic, cuz he's quite literally my biggest source of comfort. he's just so lovely <3 this ended up longer than I intended, but.. anyway. hope you enjoy. likes & reblogs are very appreciated! — with love, cream <3

♪₊˚song: touch tank — quinnie.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

you're sat at the kitchen counter, cheek resting heavily on your palm as you pick at the remainder of the pancakes on your plate, having lost your appetite.

i don't feel so good.

before this you were doing just fine, what could have triggered such an unpleasant surge of feelings, that you can't even give a name to?..

you and riwoo had an early breakfast this morning, both of you waking up at an ungodly hour. it was uncharacteristic even for him, who tends to get up before you on most days. he tells you he doesn't mind it, even if he has to be alone for a bit, because he gets to wake up next to you every morning.

sometimes, he remains next to you in bed, admiring your sunlit features in secret with a smile on his face. but more often than not, he opts for an early start to his day. you have no idea where he gets all the energy from but thanks to that, he can get some chores done. his reasoning for this being, that if everything's already taken care of by the time you've opened your eyes, you can focus solely on him.

he's so sweet.. so so sweet, just for me.

today you actually arose from your slumber first, after a restless night. something just wasn't right, you could feel it since the evening before, but you couldn't really put a finger on what was bothering you. your rustling made riwoo shift in his sleep too, as you gently removed his arm from where it was resting on your belly. always such a light sleeper, his eyelids fluttered open at your slightest movements and this time was no different.

"baby?" he croaked out, sitting up while rubbing his eyes, "what's going on? are you okay?" his hand instinctively finding it's way back to yours, "did you have a bad dream, sunbeam?" he put your intertwined hands in his lap, his thumb stroking the back of your hand, soothing.

you couldn't think of a way to relay what you felt to him, because you yourself had no idea, and no matter how accepting his gaze was at the moment, you chose to not worry him for no good reason.

"it's nothing, don't worry. I just couldn't sleep much, but I'm good." he squinted at you, not taking your word for it. "riuriu, I swear I'm alright." you go to pinch his cheek lightly, your heart swelling at his thoughtfulness. "but I don't think I can go back to sleep, you wanna go make some breakfast? I'll help this time." you offered with a smile.

he chuckled adorably, nodding his head, eager to spend more time with you. "okay, okay, but tell me if there's something wrong, okay?" you just nodded at that, wanting desperately to change the subject.

yeah! I just need to keep myself occupied, that's it. no need to make a big deal out of this.

you got up to follow your boyfriend into the kitchen, determined to distract yourself by helping him make some food, hoping it would clear your head.

cooking with riwoo is always so much fun, and the food comes out super delicious, too. and another bonus, is that both of you tend to become especially affectionate when you're in the kitchen together, something about the atmosphere there being so intimate and homely. as if you won't be able to breathe if you're not latched onto his arm while he's at the stove, or if he hasn't got his head on your shoulder hugging you from behind while you stand in front of the fridge, picking out the ingredients. doing such simple every day things together means everything to you, these moments being your favorite, because you can relish in the uncomplicated warmth they carry.

the breakfast came out perfect, and you told riwoo as such, at which he just blushed, and said it was your stirring and pouring that made all the difference. he gets really shy and smiley at your compliments, which you find to be the most endearing sight ever.

everything was seemingly going well, until you ended up on your own at the table. riwoo had finished his food, and got up to clean the mess you made while cooking, and even if he was still in the room, that uneasy feeling returned once again. it came in waves woven with anxiety and discomfort, slowly increasing in size and submerging your mind deeper and deeper, with each rise and fall of the tide.

what's wrong with me today?

you couldn't tell what was causing this flood of unpleasant emotions, as there was nothing out of the ordinary. if the environment is unchanged, that means it must be coming from within.

is something bothering me? but I don't know what it is! how can something bother me without me knowing what it is?..

"hey, baby.. I don't think I can finish this." you decide to inform your boyfriend, who was right across the kitchen, now washing the dishes. but you didn't expect your voice to come out so small, making it impossible for him to decipher your words over the loud stream of water.

he looks at you over his shoulder, "what was that, love?" then turns off the tap, to face you completely, "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" he says, with the small encouraging smile of his that he always sends your way, no matter the situation.

"I..." you trail off, unable to form your thoughts into an intelligible sentence, eyes lowering. riwoo seems to sense your distress somehow, which cements his suspicions about your mood ever since you got up this morning.

he picks up a towel to dry his hands with, as he's walking over to you, and then sits back down in his chair opposite of you. "hey, what is it?" he reaches over to touch your fingers with his own. "are you not feeling well, love?" his words are laced with such intense concern, that you feel guilty for letting your feelings show.

"i.. i- don't know. I'm just.. ugh. I'm sorry bug, I don't even know how to say it. my brain just shut down on me." you sigh, a lump forming in your throat, making it hard to keep your voice level, "I actually have no idea what's wrong with me either, or if I'm like.. I don't know, making it up."

riwoo's brows furrow in displeasure, instantly rushing to validate your feelings, "don't say that, of course you're not making it up!" his features settle into that gentle smile of his once again, "if you're not okay, then you're not okay, it's simple."

you nod at his words, "I know that, i do. but I don't even know what I'm sad about, I just think I couldn't get enough rest last night, and it's messing with my head." you shake your head absentmindedly, rubbing at your eyes.

riwoo is silent for a bit, and then, taking your entire hand in his, he says, "alright, maybe. but you know you don't have to give everything a reason, right? you can just feel sad sometimes, with seemingly no reason at all. that's completely alright, love." the corner of his mouth upturned slightly, in hopes of comforting you.

and he is, comforting, that is. everything about him is. just being quiet in his presence is a comfort of its own. he is so considerate and so so sensitive. you're eternally grateful for him, and his love, his attention, his affection. but right now it just seems like you've blanked completely. suddenly feeling strangely tired, you find it impossible to relay all this to your sweet lover, who's waiting. being just so patient with you. your heart tightens. my beautiful love.

when he doesn't receive a verbal response from you, he simply reaches out to brush strands of hair from your forehead, a smile never leaving his features, "wanna go lay back down, sunbeam?" it's apparent to him that you're in no shape to tend to yourself, and you don't need to worry, because he will take care of you. he seems to know when you need it, he always just knows. "we don't need to dwell on this. let's just rest for a bit, mhm?"

you want nothing more than to be in his arms now, these weird feelings weighing too heavy on your heart. "yeah, okay." you look down at your unfinished breakfast, as he's picking up the plate to put it away, feeling bad. "love?.. sorry about the pancakes, I just can't stomach anything right now."

"don't worry about that silly, you can eat as much as you want." reassuring you with a smile, "I'll make it for you again, once your appetite has come back." he takes you by the hand, leading the way, "c'mon, love." you follow him sluggishly.

he helps you lie down comfortably, and after getting in right beside you, he glues his body to your side. just how i love it.

you turn, almost instinctively, sinking into his arms, your head finding it's way onto his chest. you're thankful he isn't trying to figure out the root of the problem, because you can barely take even thinking about it right now. you're glad he knows exactly what you need. sighing, content, and grateful to your boyfriend, you feel overwhelmed, a surge of various emotions overcoming you. he's just so perfect. he is so kind to me. my love.

you didn't even notice you were crying, until riwoo placed a soft kiss on the crown of your head, hands rubbing soothing circles on your back, whispering a soft "it's okay." pulling you even closer, hugging you even tighter. "I'm here, sunbeam." another kiss, "it's okay." he buries his head into your hair, arms secured and unmoving. he wants you to feel safe, he wants to protect you, but feels really helpless in moments like these. so the only thing he can do is give you warmth and comfort of his body.

you don't stop crying for a while, but once it subsides and turns into occasional sobs, you're so exhausted, that you think you can pass out. your head is pounding and your eyes are swollen, and.. it's so warm, my baby's so warm. it feels very nice, so so nice. I think I can just fall asleep like this. yeah...

so you do. your boyfriend, upon noticing your evened out breaths, sighs in relief and shuts his own eyes, laying his lips on your hair in a tender kiss, one more time. riwoo isn't planning on letting go of you anytime soon, for as long as you need, he'll let you borrow his chest as a pillow, and his arms for warmth.

[queer-n-here]

once again comin in with another meal to cook !!!

character of your choice ♡

stalker, obsessive and possessive reader (quite literally just yandere) seeing their SoulmateTM one day and just going full degenerate and doing everything in their power to learn more of their new lover, even getting rid of powerful foes or imaginary rival love interests for them. no one has any idea as to how they're able to do things no human or gifted can do. eventually, reader slowly comes in and orchestrates their first meeting and slowly woos their lover, but they have major issues on hiding their possessiveness and jealousy of others. lover can either a) be all for it and find it hot or b) lover is unsettled by it.

either way, after someone flirts with their lover, reader kind of snaps and after that person leaves, reader excuses themself and goes to absolutely maim the persom who dared to approach what was his. it's nighttime when reader is finished with them, and they come home to their lover who is worried, but becomes horrified at seeing all the blood covering reader. all reader can think about is claiming his lover, breeding him and imprinting himself so deep inside his lover that they'll always feel empty without him. (dubcon would be amazing)

~ 🕸

Oh my god 🕸️ bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Bruv this is so good, love you for this, and yeah, y'all I've recently started reading a shit ton of dubcon/noncon so yeah...

I did this one for Akutagawa, cuz I feel like this could work for a situation where the reader is in the Port Mafia.

Also,this one got really long, and I haven't posted in like two days, so I thought I'd make two parts, yknow? Read Pt. 2 here!

Contents: Yandere reader that stalks Akutagawa and plans out their first time meeting in person. Not that Akutagawa already knows reader's name since they both work for the Port Mafia, but that's about it.

Warnings: No smut in this part yet, top male reader, yandere tendencies, mentions of stalking, murder, ability user reader.

You had been watching Akutagawa ever since you joined the Port Mafia. In total, this is what three years of stalking and careful planning was gonna boil down to: this one opportunity.

You had planned it out meticulously, paid seventy eight people to be nearby and on the scene to prevent anything from going wrong.

A heroic rescue!

As you watched Akutagawa cut open those men with Rashomon, you couldn't help but smile. He was so precious, so brave, so beautiful, so-

You shook your head, forcing yourself to concentrate. You couldn't miss your cue. Akutagawa wasn't stupid. If you made half a mistake, he'd know what was up.

One of the men got too close to Akutagawa for your liking, and you pounced on the opportunity like a starving cat.

You dashed out of your hiding spot, your ability leaping out and cutting the man to the ground.

Akutagawa turned to look at you, surprised.

Some of the men halted, too. They hadn't thought that you would actually hurt one of them. Before it was too apparent, and before Akutagawa could notice the changes in their expressions, your ability flew out, covering the entire area. Soon, all the men but the one you were enamored with were lying on the ground in pieces.

"[Name]," Akutagawa said, frowning slightly. "Aren't you supposed to be responsible for the East block tonight?"

"I asked Higuchi to handle it." You shrugged seemingly casually, your hands in your pockets as you scanned Akutagawa's body for any injuries. "The weather is great tonight, so I thought I'd step out for a drink. And good thing I did, otherwise you would have been cut to pieces."

Akutagawa sulked slightly, no longer focusing on the reason behind your sudden appearance. "I could've handled it."

Of course he could've, he's literally perfect.

"Were these Guild's men?" Akutagawa looked around the bloody mess of bodies around you two.

"How would I know?" You placed your hands behind your head.

Akutagawa shrugged. "Whatever, they're dead now."

And so the night ended. You took Akutagawa back to his home, pretending to ask for directions, when in reality you had his address memorized. He tried to turn you down, saying that you were being paranoid, but you said you'd rather be safe than sorry.

When you reached the tall apartment building, you watched him step inside, waiting for the light to turn on in the window you knew was his before leaving.

Over the next few weeks, you orchestrated multiple meetings between you two, always appearing out of nowhere and going back to it. Slowly, Akutagawa opened up, and started trusting you.

Miraculously, you even got Mori to assign you and Akutagwa to the same area. It cost you it's worth; you had to help Mori convince Elise into some bullshit.

It wasn't long before you were sure Akutagawa had developed feelings for you. He was painfully easy to read; his cheeks would flush every time you got too close, you could sometimes feel his eyes following you as you moved around. Once, when you 'casually' playfully winked at him, and you swore you could hear his breath hitch.

But you waited. The perfect thing to seal the deal for you and Akutagawa would be a confession from him, and not from you.

There were times when you almost gave up on this thought, like that one time one of your clients found interest in Akutagawa. He was ugly as hell and nowhere close to Akutagawa, who shone brighter than the sun. You had to take care of him your own way afterwards, slitting open his insides in your secret warehouse and throwing his pieces away to the dogs.

That wasn't a first-time occurrence, nor was it the last, but you fought well to keep your cool as long as Akutagawa was around. You didn't want him to know that side of you.

That day, you had known something was up even before you saw Akutagawa. There was a funny feeling in your stomach, and you felt like something great was going to happen.

And it did.

"I... I really l-like you."

His words caught you off guard, and for a moment you almost punched yourself in the face to confirm whether it was a dream or reality. But you stopped yourself.

"Really?" Even as you spoke, your hands were already reaching for Akutagawa, pulling him closer to you.

He nodded, his entire face red.

A small broke through your face, and you kissed him, holding his waist in your hands.

It was finally happening. It was finally happening! Three years, four months, twenty-seven days, sixteen hours and forty-two minutes after you'd first laid eyes on this angelic man, you had finally kissed him!

It was a gentle kiss, despite the roaring in your head and all the urges to crush him into yourself. You nipped at Akutagawa's lips gently, making his breath hitch in that oh-so majestic way. He tasted like the best thing in the world, and you just couldn't get enough.

It was him who pulled away first, you wouldn't willingly part from those beautiful lips even if you suffocated to death. Staring at you with shining eyes and a shy little smile on his ethereal face, Akutagawa spoke.

"So... D'you... wanna be my boyfriend?"

Yes, yes, YES! A thousand times yes!

You nodded, pressing your forehead against his.

[sebsbarnes]

heeyyyy thank u soo muvh for doing my last req i am obsessedd. Im not sure if u can do this one but its juts a thought. tan x reader where they are in high school and the twins kind of just become besties with reader and they are just known as a trio in school and lem and tan are like the readers bodyguards cuz they are so protective if reader is ever in trouble and reader and tan are cushing on each other and its just cute

hi, of course! ty sm for sending requests in i appreciate it! im going to do this bullet point style i hope that's okay!

tangerine high school headcanon

warnings: the slightest! description of someone being a bully

masterlist

okay so i think tan and lemon wouldn't really take school seriously, like they still do well and are very smart but they didn't really pay attention much almost like they were too smart for school

they would sit in the back corner of class and just mess around but honestly the teachers didn't really care because they had good grades

you met the twins due to a class project, it needed to be done in groups of threes and it was your lucky day when the name sorter chose you for the twins!

you didn't mind though having talked occasionally to them in some of your shared classes. they were nice, funny, and smart and so are you

lemon grumbled how he didn't feel like working on it now

"want to come to my house after and we can do it then?"

the twins happily agreed and the three of you goofed off the rest of the period

having spent many hours with the twins you all grew very close and kinda became inseparable in school, you all had the same sense of humor and that drew you to each other

teachers and other students knew that it was no longer the lemon and tangerine duo but now a trio with you

one day during class you desperately needed to use the bathroom and the teacher started to yell at you that you should've went between class period

"if you don't let them use the bathroom i will piss all over your fucking floor," tangerine hissed at the teacher

yeah...he had a mouth even then

and no he didn't pee on the floor

while stood in line for lunch tangerine and lemon overheard some guys talking about you

"there's no way the twins are actually friends with them... such a loser, dude."

"gotta be a charity case situation... the twins are way too cool to be friends with someone like that, almost makes them losers too."

tangerine took his empty tray and wacked it across one of the guys heads while lemon sucker punched the other in the nose

"really guys?" you said disappointedly after waiting for them to get out of detention

your hand went up and gently touched the bruise forming around tangerine's eye

"they were talking bad about you! we weren't going to stand there and do nothing!"

"yeah well now you're injured!"

but they didn't care, you were worth every detention and injury they got for defending you

now tangerine, yeah, he is a sap okay. he'd try so hard to play it cool but he failed miserably

absent from school? he wants to go home. paired with someone else? might as well give him a zero now. overheard someone thought you were cute? hell no. walking next to each other in the hallway? yeah his hand touched yours. no space on the couch in your living room? no worries, he's squeezing next to you. you didn't bring lunch? now his is yours. you were upset over a bad grade? he basically ripped his shoulder off for you to cry on it.

if you were instructed to be quiet during class tangerine couldn't take it. he needed to talk to you at all times so without fail you'd feel the slight gush of wind as a folded piece of paper went flying over your shoulder and onto your desk. you'd open the paper to some absolute nonsense that wasn't dire scribbled in pencil but you'd always pick your pen up and responded and drop the note over your shoulder to him.

what sent him over the edge was you getting a flower on valentines day... yeah that's right you had people wanting to be yours and that bubbled a weird feeling inside tangerine... what was it.

"you have a crush, idiot," lemon thumped him on the head.

"no...no? on (y/n), funny... really fuckin' funny. me? having a crush on them? our best friend? there's no way."

lemon would raise a brow at tangerine, picking at his sandwich, "see how you're trying to convince yourself it's not true?"

yep, lemon was right. of course he was. the day the group project started lemon knew the two of you had a small crush on the other.

tangerine felt a tap on his shoulder, "excuse me, this is for you," a girl tapped him on the shoulder.

tangerine and lemon looked at each other bewildered at the flower being placed in front of him. there was a small note folded up with familiar handwriting

"be mine?"

[quartzalynlove]

Lonely

Pairing: platonic! Gojo x fem! reader

Summary: gojo checks in on you after you've been acting strangely

A/N: irls pls don't read this. Also this is my favorite example of Megumi being irritated by Gojo's existence

It was an awful week for Megumi. For seven days straight he had to stay at home with Gojo and be driven everywhere by Gojo. He might not make it much longer.

Usually, he'd go everywhere with you before having to go back home to that annoying man; he'd even ask to spend a night at your apartment if you let him. Still, even if he couldn't be with you as opposed to Gojo, he could talk to you from time to time. However, you stopped answering your phone.

It was a Saturday night, and after locking himself in his room all day, Megumi decided to eat and try texting you again. A half hour passed and there was no response. He could never get annoyed with you. If anything Megumi was worried, you were just as talkative as Gojo, thankfully without the capacity for annoyance.

Just as he thought of the devil, Gojo walked into the kitchen. Unfortunately, if anyone knew what was up with you it would be him. Megumi turned to Gojo who hummed as he grabbed a box of pocky.

"Do you know if Y/N's on a mission or something?"

Gojo perked up, thinking for a second before replying. "I don't think she is. Why?"

"She hasn't texted me back all week," Megumi looked at his phone.

It was then Gojo also realized that he hadn't heard from you in over two weeks, nor has he seen you much. It was definitely out of character, especially as his best friend. Placing his snack on the counter, Gojo began to walk away.

"Would you be this beside yourself if I went missing?" He joked.

Megumi grumbled. "Just go check on her."

~

A knock at the door broke you out of your trance-like state at the TV. With a tired sigh, you paused your show and went to answer it.

When the door opened before Gojo, he was surprised to be met with your tired eyes, a blanket and pillow on your couch that was surrounded by empty snack packages, and Queen Charlotte playing on your TV. With a smile, he held up a bag of sweets in his hand.

"You busy?"

You let Gojo in, falling silent as he did a quick observation of your living room.

"Gotta say, this doesn't look good."

You simply fiddled with your hands in response.

Despite your pleading and assurance that he didn't have to, you sat on the couch and ate some of the various sweets Gojo bought while he tidied the area. As he dried and put away the last cup, Gojo went and sat next to you. He almost thought you would speak first, but you inched away slightly, nibbling on your mochi. It had been years since Gojo had seen you like this, and although he'd wish you'd open up, he would of course take his time until whenever you needed him.

"You almost sent Megumi in a downward spiral," Gojo said. "He didn't have anyone to save him from me."

He could barely get a smile out of you, but at least he got you to respond.

"How is he?" You asked.

Gojo shrugged. "Fine. He sent me to check on you."

"I'm okay, Gojo." You tried to convince him with a weak smile, but it only summoned a small frown on his face.

Gojo tilted his head. "Really? 'Cuz it looks like you've been living in your couch and binging all of your emotional period dramas."

With a light sigh, you averted your gaze as Gojo continued.

"How long have I known you? This really isn't like you Y/N. What's going on?"

You were hesitant in your response. "I'll be fine, Satoru."

Gojo's frown grew longer as you turned your face away. There was nothing the two of you never told each other; why the secrecy now?

"Y/N," he said. "Whatever's going on, you know I'd never judge you right? I know I'm an idiot, but you're still my best friend...I care about you."

You started to feel bad. It wasn't that you didn't trust Gojo; what was bothering you was just so much more complex.

Your lips pressed into a line before you spoke. "Do you ever have a certain problem you hate talking about, a specific one that stays bottled up?"

"That you're ashamed of?" Gojo added.

You gave a small nod still not looking back at Gojo. He placed his hand on top of yours. Your fingers twitched under his touch and you felt your cheeks burning up.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure there's nothing to be ashamed of. It's not good to keep your feelings bottled up, especially when this is the outcome."

Gojo put you at ease just a bit, besides, you knew he wasn't going to leave until you were feeling better.

Keeping your gaze forward, you finally spoke slowly. "I've been living on the couch because...at least it feels normal to sleep alone here."

Gojo's brows rose as he took a firm hold of your hand, slowly rubbing his thumb along your knuckles. The action made your head turn away completely.

"You've been lonely." He said.

Snatching your hand back, you stared down at your lap with your hand clenched into a fist.

"It's more than that," You spoke quietly, "I...it sounds pathetic."

"Hey, I won't let you talk about yourself like that," Gojo cut in. "There's nothing wrong with feeling like that, alright?"

You tried to accept Gojo's encouragement, but you couldn't. Why did you feel the way you did? It didn't make rational sense; it shouldn't have bothered you this much.

You hugged yourself, finding the strength to continue, "You remember the last time I was in a relationship?" You asked.

"Two years ago," Gojo answered. "But I thought that ended well."

"It did," you nodded. "But...that was the last time I was touched, held, or cared for,"

Gojo noticed how your hands shook as you held yourself. Although your face was hidden from him, he could hear the soft sniffles that left you.

"I hate feeling so needy; I know I don't need someone but I want someone so bad."

With a sympathetic look, Gojo placed a hand on your knee, feeling you tense. "How long have you felt like this?"

"A while," you answered before jerking your leg away from Gojo's hand. "Please don't feel like you have to comfort me."

Gojo did as you wished and moved his hand away. "Well, one, it's kind of in the job description of best friend. Two, I know I don't have to, but I want to. You mean a lot to me Y/N, and to see you hurt like this...it makes me want to help."

You sat in broken silence as Gojo kept talking. "This isn't being needy, Y/N. People need physical touch; we need to feel cared for,"

Gojo inched closer to you, a smile returning to his face, "If it helps," he reached over to your right cheek, cupping it softly as he fixed your face towards him. "I care about you."

Gojo's hand was so gentle against your skin. As he slowly wiped away your tears, you couldn't help nuzzling deeper into his touch.

"There," he spoke softly. "It's okay."

Tears of relief began to fall this time, and Gojo just let them roll down the back of his hand.

[pianistbynight]

days 1-7 of a slow but meaningful summer

this is really the only part of traumerei that i can play sort of fluently...sort of, because you can still hear some hesitation as i try to remember the right notes 😅

thursday | 08/08/24

Started Leviathan Wakes

Tested out of U1 in Japanese and started U2 (loving its similarities to French cuz more familiarity = faster learning curve hopefully?🤞🏻)

Practiced piano...some old scales to warm up + the Clementi sonatina (coming back to it after a 2-3 day break was a good idea! somehow my steadiness has improved! also coming to appreciate metronome practice. sight-reading for the day = a few new bars on the 2nd page) + playing around with Kinderszenen (at this point I just wanted to hear different sounds and it wasn't very productive practice)

Read more of the HSP book

Most likely will have to revise my goals bc I don't think I can make decent progress in all the songs I wanted to in 4 weeks...like, to bring 1 L7 song to performance level after years of not performing anything + without a teacher will probably take longer than it used to. Not sure exactly what that looks like yet other than that it's definitely not gonna be all of Kinderszenen... 😂

friday | 08/09/24

practice wasn't very good today...i kept making silly mistakes i didn't used to make. i'm tired. that's why. i also forgot to do my japanese lesson. i didn't feel like reading either. i don't remember what else i did that day.

saturday | 08/10/24

drained of all energy. didn't practice. didn't do japanese. just chilled with @zzzzzestforlife for the most part and started reading what you are looking for is in the library on her recommendation. i love how philosophical japanese fiction is fjsjdkdks ☺️☺️☺️ (and more generally, i'm surprised that for a culture so new to me, a lot of their ways are just...second nature to my personality...it was very relieving. but i also feel that if i were to live in such a place full time, i would be staying too much in my comfort zone...i also don't know that i would want to ever live in Japan since there are also some important aspects about my current home that i'd miss terribly. all this to say, i'd like to visit Japan again at some point in my lifetime.)

sunday | 08/11/24

went to bed feeling very drained, frustrated, and homesick. so as you can imagine, i didn't get very good sleep. my bare minimum goals for today are:

japanese lesson

read zesty's book recs (there's the library book, the secret adversary [which she rec'd back to me after i rec'd it to her a couple months ago lol], and leviathan wakes) ✅

monday | 08/12/24

finally read the last of the clementi sonatina! got it to a "meh" level to polish in the next few days. super excited! played a few other pieces after that but i think i should focus on level 7 pieces for now before jumping into something barely readable but still playable. i should've brought some level 8 sheet music with me too...but i guess i can read from my laptop (god save my eyes if i do that lol 😵)

might put Kinderszenen back on the (mental music) shelf for now.

i also read more of what you are looking for is in the library and i just love how much there is to ponder about what was said. insightful fiction is my favorite fiction 💗

tuesday | 08/13/24

finished What You Are Looking For Is In The Library! it's such a good book. it's a short story collection but each story is in the same universe and while each story is independent (convienient for readers like me who like to take their time with books but sometimes take so much time that they forget what the story was lol), they're connected in ways that...you know that feeling when you bump into an old acquaintance in a completely foreign place you don't expect to meet anyone you know? that feeling is what i felt as i read chapter after chapter. it makes the vast world feel less lonely.

in the evening i tried to memorize and get the clementi sonatina up to speed. i guess i must be succeeding because my dad said it'd make mice dance lol. also played a bit of traumerei...trying to read more of it but progress is slower since i need to pay closer attention to which notes to hold and when to let go of them.

wednesday | 08/14/24

started reading sweet bean paste today (another japanese book... they're quickly becoming my favorite type of book.) i like it so far. there's potential for a lot of warmth and emotion in talking about food, which is just 🥰

also started "Databases: Modeling and Theory" on edx... 🙈 i'm auditing so i only have 2 weeks (until Aug. 28) to access the material (because the minimum amount of time needed to complete the course is 2 weeks gahhh). so i need to be halfway by Aug. 19. in theory i can do this if i put in 2h of work each day. it's too hot to play piano during the day, so i can do databases then and play piano at night. yes, i can do this. (i need to get my brain used to a faster, "left-brained" pace anyway in prep for school in september. 🙁)

continuing to polish the clementi sonatina and started reading this kuhlau sonatina which is pretty fun difficult. it's really just the left hand that makes it suck. haven't figured out how to move so that the staccatos are sharp despite the finger pedaling. i can do it slow, but not fast while staying quiet, so i must be doing something wrong. sometimes you just gotta sit on it, i guess.

[khunyuki]

"I've lived my life with blade and you always in my mind"

ᴏᴄ: 𝚄𝚣𝚞𝚒 𝙺𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚒

Synopsis: This is information about the protagonist of my story! If you wish to know more about Kagami, feel free to read this post! I think she's a complex character yet simple at the same time cuz her motivation remains the same no matter all the overthinking.

Note/s: Might change this depending on how the story goes

Masterlist: TOC, Side Story, Main Story

Inspiration:

The Uzui clan is inspired by Uzui Tengen from Kimetsu no Yaiba. In this story, he's an ancestor who was part of the frontlines of kaiju-slaying, however, he resorted to assisting in the sidelines after losing an arm. Demons no longer exist but there are records though its history is now forgotten due to the existence of kaijus. The Uzui clan used to value its history and respects its ancestors but as time goes by it is no longer as followed. It started from the personal blade style being hard to use thus making the family focus on other technical skills as a specialty to other things. If only some of them didn't get too greedy.

Uzui Tengen being an ancestor doesn't automatically mean that he's the original cuz there were people before him. Remember how he killed his siblings thus being the only one left alive? It's still mentioned in this fanfic but that's it. He is just Kagami's favorite ancestor because of his sword style and flamboyance which is the opposite of her personality.

Occupation:

Platoon Leader of the First Division

Unleashed Combat Power:

25% (before joining First Division); 43% (default) to 89-95% (after total concentration breathing)

Appearance:

Kagami is a small woman at 149cm with a sleeper build. Her arm muscles are toned but isn't noticeable much as she makes sure it doesn't get too big. Just like most Japanese woman, her eyes and hair is black. Her default expression would be a small polite smile, honed from years of practicing it cuz women of Uzui family should always smile. She rarely does makeup but would definitely do so when meeting Soshiro. She's actually considered beautiful and pretty by a lot of people but she doesn't believe it nor does she know.

Her hair is long enough to cover her bottom and she dyed a streak of it the same as her captain's since it's tradition for platoon leaders of the first division to do so. She values tradition so she never really cuts her hair aside from trims. If it wasn't inconvenient, she would never have cut it at all. To be honest, she wouldn't have dyed her hair too if it didn't gave her a sense of freedom or if she didn't actually respect her captain to which she does.

Before, she lets her long hair down then ties it in a high ponytail on missions but when she saw Ashiro Mina doing the same, she changed her style. When at work, she wears it in a loose braid cascading over her left shoulder. On a normal day though, she would put it in a half bun half down hairstyle. When off-duty, she would put it in a classic bun but since she's still engaged, it was just half. She would accessorize it using a hairpin gifted to her by Soshiro and her engagement ring on her left ring finger.

When on-duty, she would wear the usual Defense Force uniform or the standard combat suit. When off-duty, she would usually wear conservative outfits that covers her ankles, collarbones and arms. An example would be long dresses and cardigans or maxi skirts with long-sleeved blouses. At home, she would wear a kimono or a traditional training outfit.

Mostly as a child, Kagami was mostly identical to her current appearance just without the baby fat. Her hair still reaches her shoulders and dons traditional training outfits or kimono.

Likes:

Hoshina Soshiro💕, the First Division, kaiju-slaying, training, reading, her favorite ancestor, reading, when she's hospitalized

Dislikes:

herself, Soshiro getting hurt, people in general, failing, her family

Personality:

Before meeting Soshiro for the very first time, Kagami has always been a shy girl. She would hide behind her mother/father whenever people she didn't know were around. She was born quiet, without crying as soon as she got out from her mother's womb. That's how they knew she was meant to be a shinobi, even if her silence concerns her parents.

After meeting Soshiro, she was still shy but she gradually spoke up enough to make her parents proud. Most of her topics were asking about how she could be a good wife or what she could do to make her fiancee notice her. Though everything was for naught as she stammers when in front of him and wasn't able to keep a conversation at all.

After her mother died, Kagami learned how to hide her emotions the hard way. She was taught to smile no matter the situation, even when she was being punished for no reason. She became calm and composed, rarely showing any other emotions other than the polite smile on her face. At an early age, she learned how to distinguish the faces of those with good or bad intentions. Also heartbroken at the fact that she could never really trust anyone in her family, even her father. She learned to keep her thoughts and feelings to herself, only showing them to the person she trusts the most, Hoshina Soshiro.

In a family of shinobis/ninjas, one's strengths is their ability to conceal themselves at will, something that Kagami mastered early on. It became incredibly useful when she entered middle school as she'd be encountering numerous strangers in her everyday life. She was originally an introvert and so it drains her to be around people. Still, she had to be polite and communicate with them properly, all for the sake of connections. She hates crowds and would often have a mental breakdown the moment something goes wrong but she still had to act normal on the outside.

It was during high school that she first starting feeling the cracks in her mask. It wasn't that bad at first as her confidence was unaffected still. But the pressure definitely got to her as she struggled to keep up with her studies along with training. The expectations were constantly weighing her down but she got through it because of Soshiro being by her side.

After joining the Defense Force on their original division, Kagami finally felt the reality of her situation. She had a hard time increasing her suit's unreleased power only maxing it until 25%. She definitely felt the disappointment of the people around her which impacted her confidence a lot. She started being paranoid and having self-esteem issues that got worse when Soshiro left.

When Soshiro left to join the Third Division, that was the start of her downfall. Her issues got worse along with the people pointedly criticizing her in front of her face and back. There was no longer anyone to shield her, after all. She struggled along with the feelings of insecurities and inferiority, of what she could and couldn't be. She learned to steel herself and closing off her walls, thus isolating herself even more. She hypnotized herself by chanting "Soshiro will hate her if she didn't improve, her family will disown her if she didn't improve, she'll die in a few years time if she didn't improve, she won't ever get to marry the one she loves if she didn't improve" and the likes.

Before joining the First Division, Kagami lost all hope in other people recognizing her efforts. That's why she kept to herself focusing only on her improvements and not what they're saying. Soshiro will be surprised if he sees her being so cold and calculating. At first, she didn't trust Isao Shinomiya when he told her she had potential like it was lip service. She also hated how he told her that they'd been watching her for a long time undeciding whether to actually recruit her or not, but in the end they eventually relented.

After joining the First Division, Kagami encountered a new struggle. She once again was surrounded by strong people who she couldn't keep up with. Her unleashed force was part of the bottom feed, barely even scratching the surface. She felt like a joke compared to everyone around her. That's why she felt a sense of camaraderie with officer Narumi. He was also an outcast like her but was clearly stronger, just that his eccentricity goes in the way.

Narumi Gen was someone who pushed her to do her best. He always insulted her at first yet she still stays by his side. Kagami considers him to be the very first friend she made as he was blunt with her in front of her face yet defends her behind her back. She was very grateful to him and respect him a lot. She loves her own personal space and understood that he also loves his own and she respects that. So she couldn't understand the people who would destroy his precious belongings in order to make him listen to them. Cause it felt like seeing herself, when other people try to take what's hers and she just let them. She doesn't like to see it happen with other people.

Her personality takes a turn during neutralizations. It wasn't like her usual polite way but rather more harsh as lives were at stake. Granted she try to be as gentle was possible but she tends to focus on what's in front of her and her surroundings. As a shinobi, her priority is to defeat the kaiju in a fast manner. Opting for sneaky and swift way of elimination. She was used to going solo and not relying on any support so she had to be harsh if she wanted to be heard.

As a Platoon Leader, however, her priority is to ensure that none of her comrades or civilians get hurt in the crossfire. In doing so, she had to be vocal in her thoughts and observations. Her professionalism is at its peak with being all serious and unrelenting. She had to reconsider her words and actions to benefit her squad. She lets them shine by stepping back then asserting herself when she deemed it dangerous. She finds herself complimenting her squadron for their good work and giving them advice on how to be better. She wanted to be someone who they could rely on even if she's not as strong as she wanted to be.

Nevertheless, her self-esteem and confidence is still rock bottom as she just deluded herself to think otherwise. She wouldn't survive if she lets every little thing get to her and affect her life. Strangers are just strangers. The people who can affect her the most are her family, her superiors from the First Division, and Soshiro. All three had the ability to kick down her walls and beat her to a pulp. Cause no matter how hard she denies it, her whole being relies on them.

Kagami is kind to a fault by letting people take advantage of her, knowing full well that that's their intention. Her motto is to fake it 'til you make it. That's why the whole First Division is so protective of her, even if they didn't know the mental breakdowns and panic attacks that happen every second. The First Division does notice her being humble and not letting her achievements get to her head. And that sometimes she would depreciate herself without noticing and they'll immediately tell her the opposite thus killing her with embarrassment.

Growing up in an environment that values tradition above all else, Kagami grew to love her family's history and has etched it deep into her heart and soul. That's always the first thing she considers when dressing up, neutralizing kaijus, and romancing her fiance. Well, she does most of it in a conservative way, contrasting the flamboyant attitude of her favorite ancestor. That's why she can't handle Soshiro's teasing well, along with other people.

She also has a lot of expectations on herself like other people do. If their expectations of her was around 100% then the expectation on herself would be 1000%. She typically blames herself for not reaching it, calling herself weak. She's incredibly harsh on herself despite being kind to others. She's easily jealous and insecure so she blames herself even more for thinking that way, wondering when she started getting twisted. Her kindness is a way to make her feel grounded and safe, from other people and herself.

This is a secret that she keeps to herself and never told anyone, I think even she doesn't know it but when she'd pushed to the brink, she can be a pretty crazy person. The only reason she's still alive and well is because of Soshiro so if you take him away forcefully, there will be hell. This is mainly the reason she doesn't let her jealousy and insecurities win as she trusts in Soshiro and doesn't want him to hate her.

Skills:

**if you think it's OP then please look at Uzui Tengen's wiki cause I just used the same abilities he has.

Kaiju-slaying

Sound Breathing - this is a common practice for everyone in their household as it's their specialty. One must learn how to breathe this or else they aren't real children of the house.

Total Concentration Breathing - not many people in her household can do so but she did with her religious training. That's the main reason she's still an heir and her father as the head of the clan. She does this unconsciously even in her sleep that's why her wounds heal so fast and she has immense physical prowess. It also aids in healing her faster when paired with the new technology of using kaiju regeneration.

Indomitable Will - also one of the reasons why she hasn't given up yet. Her will to survive, be with Soshiro, and fix her mental health is because of this. Her love is far stronger than her wish for death hence her will is unbreakable. There's only one person who can destroy hell will y'know. No kaijus can ever beat that.

Echolocation - her sense of hearing and touch is incredibly sensitive so if she enhances it, she would be able to locate any hidden kaijus just by listening to soundwaves. It's proven to be more effective on site, the operations squad could never compare.

Tactical Intellect - with her echolocation and information about kaijus, she's able to formulate a strategy on the spot though it requires her to be at the frontlines to do so.

Shinobi training

Enhanced Stealth - she is able to conceal her presence at will and sneak up on people. She doesn't usually do this but unconsciously scares people when she speak up not knowing she was there in the first place. She practices it the most with the people she dislikes as it makes it easier for her to avoid them.

Poison Resistance - as a child, she was fed poison everyday in order to gain immunity once she grows up. It also meant that most medicines don't work on her so she had to take special care in not getting injured. She was really glad for the new technology developed that uses kaiju's regeneration ability to heal as it would heal her up pretty quickly without having a hard time. Also, she experiments with the new diluted poisons from kaijus. She wonders if she has to detoxify her body first to have a child.

Enhanced Hearing - just like in echolocation, her ears and skin are sensitive. Easily picking up words from about 100 meters away. Because of that, she has to request they turn her communication device at the lowest volume.

Physical

Muscle Control - she has the ability to loosen or tighten her muscles at will. She practiced it alone as she wasn't allowed to do so as a child for it might cause severe issues when she fails to control it properly. She read that her favorite ancestor did it so she also did it. She could pretend to die and it would fool even the operations squad.

Immense Speed, Stamina, Strength, Endurance, & Reflexes - as a woman, this was definitely a struggle for her since she was short and weaker then most. But with hard work, she was able to do it without getting tired. It still depends on the extent of the workout. Soshiro could defeat her in terms of speed but he couldn't beat her in the others. Soshiro still hasn't mastered total concentration breathing that she taught him, if he did then he'll be able to overpower her easily.

Personal Weapon:

CC-0105 or Chained Cleavers [heavily inspired by Gyomei and Tengen's weapons].

A personal weapon primarily made for the Uzui family as it's only them who could freely manipulate such a complicated weapon. The chain was initially added to resemble a nunchucks but got modified to be longer in order to be used as both a long-ranged and short-ranged weapon. A lot of people attempted to use it but it being a specialty made for those who trained at an earlier age or talented, it lost a lot of users thus dwindling it's number in production. Kagami, an avid fan of Tengen, practiced the weapon religiously as a child and adult thus she was able to wield it freely and with ease. (This is also the primary reason why she was considered weak as normal weapons weren't compatible with her)

Relationship/s:

Hoshina Soshiro

He is her fiancee since childhood and they are smitten with each other. He's the love of her life and her obsession, and the reason she still chooses to live despite the hardships. They decided to be strictly professional when it comes to work but affectionate when in private. They make use of their days off so they could spend time with each other more.

Narumi Gen

One of the main causes of her fiance's jealousy despite him denying it. Gen is someone she highly respects and has become an important person in her life. She isn't a fan of skinship when it comes someone other than her fiance but if it's for work, they she had to swallow it. She considers them to be friends as she likes how blunt he is with her. He doesn't talk behind her back, rather he'd defend her if she doesn't do it herself. He actually advocated for her use of personal weapon despite the force preferring firearms, he doesn't want her skills to be a waste and he's correct in his judgement cuz her strength is almost on par with him. She used to be Soshiro's support but now she is Gen's support, something she takes pride in (just like how Soshiro takes pride in being Mina's vice captain).

She respects his boundaries and never throws away his things even after cleaning his room. He taught her how to play video games and it's their bonding as friends. She understands his feelings of rivalry with her fiance but would scold him if he goes too far. She felt a sense of kinship with him from the very start. She willingly dyed her hair as a sign of respect despite denying it by saying it's only for tradition. It's also pretty funny how bug their height difference is yet she's the one carrying him everywhere.

Vice Captain Hasegawa Eiji

She respects this man a lot for his tolerance to their captain. He is also one of the first people who believed in her after seeing her skills once. He is gentle and good with her, knowing just how much she's struggling, and also because he reciprocates her kindness. He's also specially fond of her because she keeps Gen in line. Gen would listen to her most of the time even if he just lets her carry him. He's incredibly grateful for her hardwork.

Shinonome Rin

A good friend and former roommate. Their personality didn't use to be compatible but her heart was softened by Kagami's persistence and kindness. She's genuinely worried for her friend's mental health as she's the one who was able to observe her up close when they were still officers. She used to ship her with Captain Narumi before finding out she has a fiance. She's also the one who dyed Kagami's hair and would sometimes style it!

Ashiro Mina

She used to be someone Kagami admires, she still does but she admits that her jealousy makes her a bit uncomfortable with it. That is primarily the reason she didn't choose to join the Third Division when the offer was extended as she didn't want to be compared and hate her. She still likes Mina though for believing in her fiance's abilities. She immediately stopped getting jealous after learning about Kafka's relationship with Mina.

Mina doesn't have any particular thoughts about her, only knowing that she's the fiancee of her vice captain. Although she's quite disappointed that she didn't join her force, she's glad Kagami was able to make use of her strengths in the First Division (she's still salty with it though). She also respects Kagami for her dedication to the force and respect for rule and order. She doesn't force PDA on her vice captain yet she feels a headache everytime he request a day off as it meant either of them are sick or he'd force his way to the First Division to make her rest. She still couldn't forget the headache it brought her the first time around when vice captain Hasegawa told her of his unwanted visit and demand. Nevertheless, she's also fine with her barging in the Third Division to demand that he rest as he really does need to.

Hibino Kafka

Soshiro told her about him from the start, about how an interesting recruit joined the force and his relationship with Mina. When he arrived at the First Division, she was shocked to find out he was a humanoid kaiju but was reassured by Soshiro. He asked her to look after him and Kikoru to which she did without question. Needless to say, they get along well as she didn't get scared of him at all, trusting her fiance's words more than anyone else's (it made Kafka thankful to have someone believe in him immediately). She actually finds Kafka as a funny person who makes her laugh at the dumbest of things. Especially when he tells her all about her fiance's shinenigans in the Third Division. Kafka thinks she's an angel compared to his vice captain though.

[shadow-sandiego-shipping]

F!Reader x Graham Calloway (Part 1)

Hero in skinny Jeans

Graham walked down the stairs from the opera house on his way home. It had been a long day and an even longer night at the opera house. But definitely a fun time. Although Graham was starting to get tired of having to sit through hours and hours of classical music through rehearsals and shows.

At least the weather was nice. There was a breeze in the air and the moon was out. It'd make for a pretty good walk back to his apartment.

He's just at the bottom of the last flight of stairs when he hears someone running in his direction. He barely has enough time to look at who it could be when the collision happens.

He loses his footing falling on his back, and whoever had ran into him fell on his legs. Papers fly across his vision, likely being carried by the stranger.

"Oh god! I'm so sorry!" His assailant, a girl steps back kneeling in front of him. Graham gets an eyeful and crikey was she pretty.

"Wow…" He can't stop the surprised gasp. Her skin looked smooth and fragrant like a ripped peach, her hair loose flowing with the wind, and her eyes, like diamonds reflecting the moonlight.

He composes himself enough to stop ogling at her. The papers that had been spread across were threatening to fly off further into the wild. Graham starts picking them up. "Let me help!" He says.

The girl realises the mess she had caused and starts picking them up too.

"I'm sorry, I should have looked where I was going!" She sounds panicked.

"It's alright, are you-"

"Are you alright?" Another voice speaks over him. A guy, leaning over them; he looked dirty and sweaty. The girl seemed to panic more.

"Y-yes! I uh.. I found my cousin, Ruben!" She puts a hand on Graham's shoulder.

"Cousin?" The guy asks. "You don't look anything alike." He sounds mad.

The poor girl looked close to tears. "You know this guy?" Graham asks her. She shakes her head so he stands up.

The sleezy guy puts his hands up in defence. Graham was very much taller than him. "Oh, you're really her cousin?" He sounds scared. Good. He should be.

"Yeah, Ruben. Care to tell me why you're following my cuz around, creep?"

"Wow, hey, hey, I'm not doing anything wrong! I was just making sure she got home, alright!" The idiot tries to justify himself. "If anything, she's the creep, keeping tabs on me. She hasn't stopped looking at me all night…"

Graham clenches his fists and steps closer to the guy. "I would piss off if I were you." He says darkly.

"Yeah, alright, I'm going, I don't want any trouble."

The guy walks away, albeit slowly and constantly looking back at Graham and the girl. Only when the sleezebag is out of sight does Graham turn back and help pick up the rest of the paper sheets.

"Sorry about that." He says, handing over the sheets he had been able to get. Music sheets he notices.

The girl takes them and gives him a relieved smile. "I'm the one who's sorry for dragging you into this…" She sighs. "That guy started following me ever since I left my lessons two blocks away. I really wasn't looking when I ran into you." Graham chuckles.

"Thanks for helping me out." Her voice was pretty too, melodious and sweet, like honey.

They stand up and the girl puts most of the papers away in her bag.

"No problem, gorgeous. Guys like that deserve a lot worse than anything I did." He frowns in the direction the creep had gone in.

She gives him a heartfelt smile. "My hero." Graham feels his heart beat pick up.

"A-although, knowing his kind, I'm kinda worried he hasn't given up…" He looks around to make sure the guy really was gone. Out of sight, but really, there was no telling if he left or if he was waiting. "There's a police station close by. Would you like me to walk you there?" He suggests.

"Really? I wouldn't want to bother you any further…" He couldn’t let a pretty girl like her down.

"It's no problem, it's on the way to my place, actually." He holds his hand out. "Name's Graham, by the way. Can I learn yours?"

The girl smiles, holding the papers that didn't fit in her bag close to her chest with one hand. And shaking his with the other.

"Y/N." What a cute name. It suited her…

//

After you reach the police station, Graham waits by the door as you submit a complaint on the creep who had stalked you.

You had the feeling someone had been following you both until you got to the station, but whoever it was probably ran off when they saw you enter instead of passing by.

The police officer who takes your complaint is very nice. She explains that, unfortunately, there isn't much they can do without evidence, but they would take into account the man's description in any case. She also asks if you know of someone who could take you home so you'd stay safe.

Immediately, your mind thinks of Graham. For some reason, you feel safe around him. Maybe it's the way he jumped to defend you before he even knew your name; or maybe it's the way he volunteered to keep you company until he knew you were safe. But you couldn't possibly bother him anymore than you already had tonight.

You decide to call your roommate instead, she let's you know she'll be there in ten and hangs up.

Feeling much better about everything, you step outside. Graham was still there, despite you practically being strangers to each other.

"Graham!" You call out, he smiles at you.

"How did go?" He asks.

You tell him it went fine and that you called your friend to pick you up. He sighs.

"That’s a relief. Is your friend driving?"

You nod. "Thank you again for helping me out…"

He laughs. He had the sort of laughter that could get you smiling with him despite any circumstance. "Well, I got to walk halfway home with you so." He winks.

You feel a light heat in your cheeks. "W-well, I still feel bad for putting you through so much trouble. Is there any way I could make it up to you?"

He seems surprised but grins at the offer. "Oh? If you'd like?" He reaches in his back pocket, taking out a small notebook and pencil. He rips a page and scribbles on it. Then he gives it to you. It's an address. "I always grab a coffee at eight before work. If you feel up for it, you could make me company tomorrow?"

He was inviting you? For coffee?

"L-like a date?" You find yourself thinking outloud. It brings a blush to his cheeks. He smiles wide, giving you an eyeful of his cute dimples.

"If you'd like? It doesn't have to be anything…"

It's been a while since you met someone so nice.

Gosh, and he was attractive too. Not the sort of attractive you'd see in movies or in fashion magazines. It was the sort of hot from a guy in his twenties with a wolf cut and white teeth and a pair of the cutest dimples in his cheeks. And his eyes, soft brown, reminded you of butter caramel cake.

And he was inviting you for coffee.

Your cheeks heat up when you reply. "It's a date!"

Made for @wisteria-cherry // Part 2 (coming out soon)

[gojou-violin]

this is enough

| pairing: aki hayakawa x fem bodied!reader

| warnings: 18+ MDNI, chainsaw man manga spoilers, sad(?) sex, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, (breeding kink if you know aki and if you squint really hard), bad smut writing from me.

| wc: 3.3k

| a/n: when can i be happy after reading csm?

| taglist: @sintiva (just this once cuz i sent this ask), @aylitgirl

Aki wasn't one to tell others the truth when he was struggling. He liked to bottle it up for the sake of suffering alone so that no one else had to worry about him or be burdened with his own "stupid" problems, especially when it came to the deals he'd made over the years with different devils who wanted this and that from him. Out of everyone you knew, you were sure that you were the only person in his life who knew every detail of what he was enduring.

The Curse Devil was the first to take from him. In exchange for time off his life, Aki could kill his opponents simply by stabbing them three times with the sword he always carried around with him. The first time you met Aki, he had a good twenty years to live... Now, he was close to two years...

The Fox Devil wanted from Aki what he wanted from every human he made contracts with: skin. There were days when Aki would leave the house whole, and when he'd come home that night, he'd have his arm bandaged up because the Fox Devil took the skin from his forearm. Aki always insisted that it was fine, that it was his curse to bear because it was a contract he made willingly; but that didn't change the fact that you forced him to go to the hospital every time in order to receive skin grafts.

The only time you'd ever seen Aki so scared about his future was after he came home to tell you that he made a new contract with the Future Devil who was living in his right eye. It was necessary after the Fox Devil got fed up with him and would no longer come to him even when the situation was dire and Aki was willing to give up everything he had to offer just for the sake of winning his fights-- So your husband had a Devil living in his eye now... Punishment, you supposed, for getting to see seconds into the future whenever Aki needed during battles.

Part of you couldn't understand how he had made all of these deals for the sake of surviving out there while up against all kinds of powerful Devils, yet none of them could save him when it mattered most. Where had his squad been? Where had they allowed this terrible thing to happen to him?

"You have to stop that," Aki whispered from across the table.

You looked over at him with a brow raised, just in time to catch him staring down at your bouncing knee. He always knew when you were overthinking something. It was so obvious by how you'd go quiet after getting lost in thought, and your knee would shake, and your hands would fidget on your lap.

You two were supposed to be on vacation, so why were you thinking about what happened when it was all in the past and nothing could change the outcome, even if you tried your very best. The doctors were good enough. They did their jobs as soon as Aki was taken to the hospital. It could have been worse. You both knew it. He could have been killed like some of his coworkers, or he could have come back in more pieces, or neither of his arms could have been reconnected like one of his friends.

It happened in the middle of the night a week ago. You got a call that Aki was in the hospital after his squad went to fight the Doll Devil who took both of Aki's arms. She snatched them clean off his body without so much as a blink of an eye or an inhale of her breath. It happened in a second, he told you later. One moment they were looking around, the next, he had no arms and was passing out on the ground. When he woke back up, he was in the hospital, you sitting next to him, holding onto his hand, the only one they could reattach after hours of surgery.

"Come here," he continued to whisper. It was like he was scared to disturb the gorgeous night you two were enjoying silently in the dark hotel room that had been gifted to you after he was put on leave due to his injuries.

Aki wanted to get back to work the second he was released from the hospital, however, his superiors denied the request, and to ensure that he stayed away, they sent the two of you to a hotel outside of the city for the weekend where you could relax and he could recover a bit more before actually going back. You knew that there was no stopping him. He was going to go back to work one way another, even if it ended up killing him faster than the Curse Devil promised; even though it would kill you to get a call that he wasn't in the hospital because he had died.

"Baby, come here," he spoke up a bit more to grab your attention.

Without thinking twice, your feet carried you out of your chair and over to him. His lap was warm as he used his one good hand to grab your hip and pull you close until you were straddling him, your faces close his nose bumping yours sweetly. It was cold outside. At some point in the evening you had considered going out to get food at a  nearby restaurant before you looked out the window to see that a snow storm had rolled in, trapping the two of you in the hotel which lost power nearly an hour later. That was alright, though. Aki wanted to spend a quiet night in. He liked watching the snowfall, so you both pulled up chairs to the window to lounge around while you waited for shitty food service to arrive. There wasn’t much the kitchen could make in a power outage, but the pint of ice cream they had to get rid of before it melted served the two of you well for a bit. Once you were done eating, though, that was when your thoughts began to drift, and Aki noticed that something was off.

Did he know how worried you were about him? Did he realize that every time you glanced at his missing arm, your heart wrenched in your chest? When would he finally say “fuck it” and leave that damn Devil Hunter career of his behind just to spend his last few years alive with you, the person who needed him around or nothing seemed right—

“Darling,” he cooed.

You melted into him, wrapping your arms around his neck so that he’d stay close and continue to nudge his nose against your cheek as he left kisses along your jawline.

“It’s okay.”

“I know that.”

He hummed a thought. “It’ll be okay.”

You couldn’t think of any kind of proper response to that because you weren’t sold on the idea that it would actually be alright. He had two years left, if that. How much longer was he willing to suffer? He’d given up his skin, his eye, his entire arm— You couldn’t give him up to the Curse Devil. You couldn’t. That monster would have to go through you before he could ever get to Aki.

“I’m here. I’ve always been here. That’s enough, isn’t it? Being here… Right now… Just the two of us… That’s enough.”

You hid your face in the crook of his neck suddenly as you croaked, “That’s enough…”

He nodded. “Exactly.” He was gently kissing the side of your head until you perked back up again then leaned in to kiss him. “Darling…” he mumbled against your lips.

“You’ve gotta stop scaring me like this. Please.”

His lips hovered over yours as he hesitated to reply. “I’m sorry.”

As he kissed you again, your fingers found the ends of his hair, gently tugging in order to ground yourself in the thought that it was enough, he was right, it was okay, and it would be okay. If Aki was sure that everything would be alright, then it had to be true. Afterall, you were the only person in the world who ever knew what he was really thinking and what he was struggling with. If anything was amiss with him, you’d be the first to know. It was okay. Being with him was enough.

Aki managed to find dominance in your kiss even though he was below you and all he could do was hold onto you with his one hand as you moved ever so slowly and lightly along his lap. A voice in the back of your head was screaming at you to stop because Aki was supposed to be resting; but your body was ahead of reason. Some desperate part of you was taking over. There was an urge tugging at your heart and a coil that was twisting in your stomach because you missed him— Even though he was right there, in your arms— You missed him. You were terrified of the past, you were dreading the future, and your whole body was begging to forget it all by simply being with him as a reminder that he was in fact there, that he was real, that he was okay, and that it was enough to be with him in that hotel room as you waited for the power to turn back on.

“Fuck—” Aki slid his hand around you so that he could palm your ass roughly. “Don’t stop—” He was trying to help you in your endeavor to get both of you off through your bathrobes.

But it couldn’t be helped. Even though he was moaning in your mouth as his hand gripped your ass while he moved you back and forth, you had to hesitate just to tear his robe apart, revealing his growing erection. Another minute or so and he’d be ready—

“Fuck, ‘Ki—” You were caught too off guard by him sliding his hand back along your hip and down to your clit that he found so easily, using his fingers expertly to tease the pearl roughly.

There was a bit of urgency to the way both of you were moving, like you needed to fuck each other in the next few seconds or you’d explode; yet it was all still so gentle, quiet, and oddly romantic. Whenever you and Aki were at home together, back when Denji and Power didn’t live with you, the two of you were worse than rabbits, the way you’d fuck constantly. Aki was the adrenaline rush type of guy. He loved finding different ways to please you. This hole, that hole, these fingers, this toy. This kink, that kink. This position, that position. Whatever it took to make you scream his name every day and night, Aki tried it. But there were times, very rarely, honestly, when it came down to basics where it was just you and him and the simple idea of fucking each other. No fancy toys, no crazy kinks, and no planning prior to the sex so that everything was safe and consentual because that was just how crazy it could get sometimes. This was the purest thing it could be: Two people in love who needed each other.

“I’m ready,” you insisted while reaching down to wrap your hand around his length.

Aki hissed at the feeling. “Okay— Fuck—” He moaned your name as you aligned his tip with your slick entrance.

As you slid down slowly onto his length, Aki’s fingers on your clit hesitated for a moment as he forgot how to simply breathe. It wasn’t until you were fully settled down that he finally let out a breath and threw his head back. You took the opportunity to kiss his neck. You nipped and licked enough to make sure that a hickey would surface soon to let the whole world know that you put it there because you loved him because he was only yours. He could make a million contracts with Devils just to sell his soul off— It didn’t matter because his heart was all yours.

“Is it okay if I move?”

Aki nodded eagerly. “Go on.”

With moans escaping both of you simultaneously, you rolled your hips in a circle just to test how deep he could reach inside of you. Aki wasn’t the largest man by any means, but he wasn’t small either. Though he wasn’t very thick, he made up for it in length, which meant that he could hit spots in you that you thought were impossible before you met him. He liked to watch your face burn bright whenever he’d fuck you because you were shocked by him every time. It just seemed outrageous that you’d think he was done but he’d keep going and going until finally his pelvis hit your skin and you knew he’d given you everything. He thought it was entertaining to see you so surprised. But this time, it wasn’t like that. You were on top, ready to take every inch, and you were testing the waters to see where you could get him to go if you rolled your hips left vs. right, and what would happen if you lifted up slightly then rolled around in a circle.

Aki’s fingers flicked your clit whenever you lifted up slightly. If you weren’t down against his thighs, then he had enough room to play with you, which is exactly what he wanted because the whimpers that left your mouth as you bit your lip were just so perfect. And to you, whenever you’d be pressed down all the way, you felt like you were in heaven whenever he’d groan your name. It was like hearing him chant a prayer. The way he’d break with a few curse words and a name of an angel— your name… Fuck, he was perfect.

“I love you.” Aki’s lips captured yours in another passionate kiss.

You could tell that it was difficult for him to find way to keep you closer than you already were, and that was only because he used to dig his fingers into your hips just to make sure you couldn’t get away from him; but without his other arm, he was forgetting how to hold onto you, and you could see it in his lust-heavy eyes that he was worried about losing you. He was probably asking himself what would happen if he didn’t hold you on his lap? Would you groan and go to bed? Absolutely not! He wasn’t less adequate. He wasn’t worth less now. He wasn’t going to lose you. What such stupid thoughts posessed him whenever he was worried about you.

“I love you,” you responded desperately. You needed him to believe you. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He must have known that you knew what he was thinking because his fingers worked faster on your clit and he kissed you so hard you almost got knocked backwards. If it weren’t for the fact that you were holding onto his shoulders, you probably would have fallen onto the floor.

“I love you, baby. Fuck— Love you so, so much.”

You whimpered into the kiss, “‘Ki…”

“Hmm, darling?”

“Don’t stop…”

It was difficult to keep reminding yourself that you needed to put in the work to move around on his cock while he was trying to force you towards an orgasm that you could already anticipate would knock the wind out of you. Somehow he was fine. He was moaning, sure, but he had regained enough sense since throwing his head back to know that it was up to him to keep kissing you and playing with your stiff clit; and you just had to breathe. Just breathe. It didn’t matter that you could feel him so far in you that your legs were shaking. It didn’t matter that you were squeezing so tight around his length that you could feel him twitching as he got close, too. It didn’t matter that you were teetering on the edge. All you wanted was to remind both of you what this all meant: Two people who were madly in love who needed each other.

“I need you, Aki.”

It wasn’t a “need” of the sexual variety— Though that was certainly true, as well. You said it because it meant that you needed him to live. You needed him to find some kind of way to stick around longer than two years. Whatever contract he’d have to make, there had to be some Devil out there who’d like to keep him alive longer than the Curse Devil wanted simply because Aki could be of use. Right? Someone had to want or need him as much as you.

“I know,” he whispered kindly.

It sounded almost like he was taking pity on you— A thought that you could bear, so you hugged him and rested your head on his shoulder as you fucked him faster. You didn’t need him to feel sorry for you, you just needed him to be there, to be enough.

“Darling, I’m close…”

You did your best to maintain your speed and balance as you continued to do what was working. He seemed to love it when he was buried inside of you to the hilt, so you stayed down and grinded on his hips in circles.

“Fuck, darling— Fuck— I’m close— Shit—”

For someone who took pride in his mature vocabulary and “proper” dialect, it was amazing to you that you could break him down to nothing but curse words oh-so-easily.

“In me, ‘Ki,” you begged.

“Shit—”

The knot in your stomach tightened suddenly. The build up went straight down to where you were connected to him, so you instinctively squeezed around his length, forcing him to tip over the edge. You came as he twitched inside of you. A guttural groan left him while he came hard, his cum ending up exactly where you both agreed it belonged.

Your thrusting slowly winded down until you were at a complete stop, both of you panting while you came down from your highs, his cock still a bit hard as he relaxed against the cushions beneath him. You fell into his chest a bit more.

“Won’t you look at me?” he asked you.

With a bit of bravery you managed to conjure up, you lifted your head from his shoulder. It was then that you suddenly noticed that his eyes were watery and red, a sign that he was on the verge of breaking down for the first time in so long.

You panicked and rushed to kiss him. “I’m sorry—”

“I need you, too,” he insisted. “I’ve always needed you.” He kissed you again. “It’ll be okay. I promise. I’ll make it okay. I’m not going anywhere… Not yet at least.”

You hated words like that from him. “Not yet at least.” Couldn’t he just lie and promise that he’d be around forever? Just to make you forget for a little bit longer that the inevitable was on the horizon, that he’d lose more than just his arm, and that you’d eventually miss him and there’d be nothing you could do about it anymore. No more sitting on his lap. No more kissing him. No more hugging his body as he’d cum inside of you. No more hoping and praying that maybe you’d get pregnant and there’d be a part of him to remember him by after he’d die. He could lie to you, and you wouldn’t get mad, so long as it was about him always being there.

“I love you,” was all you could bear to say after you kissed him one last time before resting your head on his shoulder again.

Aki hugged his arm around your body and sniffled. “I love you, too.”

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

My hc as being the daughter of SB and sister to HL:

Soldier Boy/Daughter

His feelings towards having a daughter I would say is very “neutral” given his behavior towards women, he’s more or less pretty awkward about it because now he’s like “Do I have to not act like a dick with this “thing”?”

But surprisingly he TRIES to be less vulgar and does try to protect you in a sense that he knows how men think

One of his main phrases with you is “A lady shouldn’t act like this” basically overall EXTREMELY MISOGYNISTIC sadly you don’t know any better growing up

You learn about womanhood through his various lady friends, don’t even bother asking him because he’ll probably kindly tell you to fuck off KINDLY

Awkward hugs, like “there, there”

Any bully that you may have depends on whether they are male or female

Male = beats the shit out of them, then their dad, then fucks their mom and will probably steal their bike to give to you as a Xmas present, it’s July btw

Female = acts all nice and when no one is looking tells them this “If you keep fucking with my kid, I’m gonna fuck your mom and ima gonna be your new daddy..now give me $20”

He’s gonna keep the $20

Homelander/Sister

SISTER COMPLEX

He did pretty much raise you the minute SB brought you home

Your the only consistency he has in his life, growing up he tries his best to protect you from everything SB related (doesn’t always work)

When SB brings home a lover HL tells you that’s dads special friend and if they are too loud which is all the time he gives you ear muffs and plays the quiet game with you

SB is passed out in the hallway? Oh he’s sick he’ll be fine (probably)

Isn’t particularly happy when the team Payback is around but is glad that they are under SB’s foot

Doesn’t mind Black Noir, both you and HL are pretty attached too him growing up

But as you grow older and venture out and try to make new friends, HL gets extremely jealous wanting to be your ONLY BSF

Calls your friends “sluts” for trying to erase his influence over you and if you get a bf he will totally SNITCH to SB

His fondest memory of you both is when you were kids and trying to avoid SB because he was in one of his moods and you and him were under the covers, you pinky promised him that you’ll never leave him and he’ll never leave you

His “friends” are your friends and doesn’t see anything wrong with that Bc he’s your big bro and he could always use Maeve and Starlight as a scapegoat

SB would hold his baby girl at arm's length, unsure of what to do with this delicate little thing.

first few years of your life he'll dress you up in boy clothes cuz he doesn't want to deal with baby girl clothes with all the pinks and frills. Homelander will be the one to pick you up a yellow onesie with a big sun on the front from a thrift store with his money from being a paper boy

Soldier Boy will find himself growing softer the longer he cares for you. When it's just the two of you at home, he'll even speak softly to you with a lilt of using a baby voice. he'll outright deny it though if Homelander catches him using the voice

the way you learned about periods? one of SB's lady friends left her purse out in the living room and you rifled through it, finding not just her cigarettes but some funny looking torpedo things. she informed you how it worked. literally terrified you because bleeding for four days straight is not normal and SB sure as hell wasn't going to teach you about feminine hygiene.

and from the Crimson Countess you learn that some women also wear the flimsiest underwear.

"Did you see her underwear? It looks like it's made out of floss!" you'd giggle while HL can only flush and tell you that's not what proper ladies wear and steer you the other way

really, the only member of Payback that you and HL liked was Black Noir. he'd draw with you or take you and your brother out if everyone was being too. . . rowdy

Buster Beaver's Pizza Restaurant becomes a favorite

really, Black Noir is the only male HL feels comfortable letting you be around

even his male friends he trusts to a certain degree. never would he leave his sister completely alone with any of them. more like they're his little spies who tell HL of any other bugs scuttling around you

he doesn't like it when you make your own friends who try and pull you away from his side

will do anything to turn you against these 'sluts'.

both of you have bonded through the trauma of growing up with Soldier Boy. huddled under the blankets to ignore the outside world. Homelander holding you close and promising it will always be just the two of you against the rest of the world. and you full heartedly believe him because he'd never lie to you. not your beloved big brother who carries the sun on his shoulders just for you. even if he doesn't like your friends that aren't his. after all, he was just trying to keep you safe. that was his main goal in life.

and frankly, as bad as HL sister complex was, your big brother complex was even bigger

as you were Homelander's only constant, he was your's as well.

@theeonlyroman thank you so much for sending all these HC 😭❤️ i look forward to every single one of them and get so giddy and excited to answer them ❤️

[valentine-writes]

Could you write something about hanahaki disease with Johnathon ohnn? (Could end in angst or fluff either is good :3) no rush ofc, i love your work!!!

choking on flowers.

「 tws + notes: open ended ending, implications/mentions of death (but no Actual Death), unedited, OOC, interpretation of hanahaki may be slightly diff (i haven't heard of this trope thing in a hot min ngl so im not the Greatest With This), pre-collider even though his holes generating flowers is a silly thought which i giggled abt while writing this, present/past tenses are fucked up cuz i changed formatting halfway, angst?? 」

「 gn!reader, (unrequited) romantic relationship </3 」

↳ ft. johnathan/johnathon ohnn

author's note: THANK U SMMM!! (∩^o^)⊃━☆ lowkey 4got thiz thing existed lolz,, and while hanahaki aus are no longer My Thing, i wud b lying if i told u i didn't eat hanahaki ficz up in middle school ＞︿＜!! sooo,, here we go!!! hopefully this is ok,, many apologies for how short it iz aauwgwhwh

this is the third time you've called him today, trying to reach out. the first two times, he had thought he was strong enough to ignore you.

he was wrong. the minute his phone rang out that third time, he practically scrambled over to it just to answer. pathetic.

"you haven't been at work for what,,, almost two weeks now?"

the concern in your voice makes johnathan want to keel over dead instantly– not like he's far from it anyways. he pulls his phone away as he lets out a weak cough. you barely hear it from your end of the call.

"...sick." is all he manages to rasp out, his sore throat preventing him from speaking further. even if he could manage to talk more, he wouldn't know what else to say. how would he tell you? the call ends prematurely. you know you're not going to get more out of him, and he knows that it's better to keep you in the dark about his situation.

to tell you about how his unrequited feelings have manifested into something much more than both of you can handle was completely and absolutely out of the question. how was he supposed to explain he had been coughing up your favourite flowers? johnathan would rather let it kill him.

not only was he humiliated by the sheer intensity of his yearning– he knew you'd end up feeling guilty about it. yet, a part of his heart ached, wishing that he was selfish enough to tell you. maybe seeing you cry over him would give him some semblance of love.

that was an awful thought. he promptly pushed it aside. he'd never want to make you cry.

he could only laugh at how frustrating his situation is. it was inescapable, his fate inevitable and ever nearing– and no one to tell.

he had never felt so alone.

at least i'll have flowers for my funeral, he thought in the deafening silence of his home, finding the energy to let out a weak chuckle over the thought.

–

a few days after the call, his phone buzzed, receiving a text from you:

i'm coming over'

straightforward, at least.

'what if you get sick?' he messages back, trying to generate excuses to keep you away.

you reply swiftly, before he can come up with anything else, unswayed by the idea of potentially catching his illness which, unbeknownst to you, wasn't really transferable anyways. 'we'll wear masks then. omw.'

lovely. you were stubborn as ever. at least you gave him a heads up.

he noticed you made no attempt to keep your distance from him as you dropped off his little care package.

all neatly put into a little basket was some fresh fruit you had insisted he needed, as you rambled over the importance of vitamin c and immune health, a sweet little card filled with "get better soon"s filled by his coworkers at alchemax most of which he knew probably didn't really care all that much, a few packages of cough drops you had been a sweetheart to actually choose ones which had bearable flavours, a blanket, a few snacks, and... flowers.

if you had known exactly what illness, he doubted this choice would have been made. he stared at them silently, finding some sort of humor in the mortifying irony.

-

you said an awkward goodbye at his door, about to turn around and head off– before hesitating for a second.

"johnathan?" the way you looked at him, eyes filled with tenderness and worry– maybe it wasn't so bad after all, for you to be the death of him.

"...yeah?"

you didn't say anything further, instead, choosing to communicate through impulsively squeezing him into a tight hug.

you pull away just as quick as it had happened, yet the warmth of your embrace lingered a little longer, even as you headed out the door. something about you caring so much made it hurt more.

johnathan wondered why you even cared, why you were so persistent about looking out for him– knowing that he'd end up watching you slip away from him again, leaving an ache in his heart nothing could remedy.

he couldn't blame you. not sweet, kind, thoughtful you. he was the idiot, the careless fool who yearned for something he couldn't have.

maybe in another life, he thought to himself.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for retroactively cheating on my partner?

Look, I know the title sounds kinda dumb, but it was kind of the best way I could sum it up. This also might get a little long. I'm just trying to give the context it needs that I feel sorta led me to the decisions I made.

I (22M) went on my first vacation with my partner (25F) last summer. Our vacation was to a relatively local spot not too far out of the city that's decently popular. We'd been dating at that point for around 18 months, though a lot of our dating had been done online cuz of the whole global pandemic thing. When the restrictions started loosening she started getting pushy about me moving in. This caused some tension between us, but it always kind of fizzled out. I still lived with my dad at that point. I'd never moved in with her, since I always wanna be really absolutely sure about these things beforehand, and I'll admit to viewing our week long vacation as sort of a trial run for maybe, one day, taking that step. All of this is just context for the fact that I was really serious about her. It was also the first real adult relationship that I'd been in.

If it was meant to be a trial for moving in, the vacation probably brought to the surface all the issues that I'd had with her. It was seriously a disaster. Our first day was great, but she spent a lot of the next two days taking calls from work and having some "alone time". I was really pissed off on the third day, waking up to ask if she wanted to go swimming, and having her tell me she was up for hours, and if I wanted to go I should've talked to her earlier. I suggested things we could do together, and we did eat lunch together and go to the pool, but she wasn't at all interested in doing anything else with me. After lunch, she sort of disappeared, so I went to the bar myself and considered texting her to join me. I got distracted talking to a guy, and soon enough we were super invested in the conversation together.

For context, I'm probably somewhere on the bi/pan end of things, but I grew up and continued living in a close minded small town. Especially last year, I was very much not out, not comfortable with people seeing me as in any way lgbtq adjacent, and still holding onto a lot more internalised stuff than I was willing to admit to.

This guy (who I'll call R) and I hit it off. We had lots in common, and he was fun to hang around with, and a good listener. I won't lie, I did find him pretty physically attractive, but naturally, it wasn't a huge issue. I've never had a problem being faithful, it's something I value over anything else in a relationship. When I spoke to my girlfriend about him later, she make some teasing remarks towards me about him being my "boyfriend". I was extremely sensitive about this, and snapped at her, to which she called me oversensitive and complained I never understand her jokes. I, being more mean than I should've been, told her she should try being funny, and she just called me misogynistic, which I resented, so I walked out, and came back later when I was sure she was asleep.

The next day, she shut me off completely, which I understood. I apologised, but I appreciated that she needed some space. I ended up meeting R at the pool again. We went for a hike, which took longer than expected, and made it home at dinner, which we got together. He insisted on paying in full, and we had a fun time, walking back to the hotel together. He told me he was leaving that evening, and I offered to help him pack. We got into his room, I helped him pack, we talked, traded socials, and, eventually, just out of the blue, I kissed him. I don't really know why, but it was nothing more than a chaste kiss, and I panicked and left.

The rest of the trip with my girlfriend was mostly us keeping to ourselves, and while we made up, there was definitely an atmosphere. The atmosphere just stayed. We broke up in October, for reasons unrelated directly to the vacation.

However, my issue is that from the vacation to when my gf and I broke up, R and I were dming each other. Objectively,it wasn't anything romantic or sexual, no nudes, nothing like that. We would just talk like we always did. We decided to try out dating in February of this year, and so far, its been great - he's genuinely a brilliant partner, we have far less conflicts, we sort things out quicker, and we generally seem to mesh much better than I did with my ex. But being with him has sort of taught me that what I valued him for when we were just talking is also what I mostly value him for now that we're dating - his good listening, his great sense of humour, the fact he just seems to get me. I could be overthinking things, but I can't shake this weird feeling that while I was with my ex I was somehow having all the trappings of another relationship whilst not indulging in the traditional markers of one. It just doesn't feel right to me. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?