#loveless tag

[wherefore-whinnies]

tl;dr if you say things like "there's no heterosexual/platonic explanation for this" or "historians will say they were roommates" or think a character not wanting romance/friendship is a thing to be fixed or think that actions are inherently romantic without considering the intent behind them or insist that ace attorney is ~the gay lawyer game~ or a whole variety of other aphobic behaviour that's been normalized in fandom please either unfollow me or commit to learning about aspec people and amatonormativity and changing your behaviour.

I've had people tell me stuff like "I'm sure most people in your fandoms are nice, decent people! if you just tell them about the things they do that are harmful I'm sure they will listen and try to change!" and "if you just sit there and feel bad about it nothing will ever change! not with that attitude!" about amatonormativity in fandom and like okay would you like to take on that responsibility then? would you like to try to educate people on how the basic way they engage with fandom is blatantly erasing a whole group of queer people? would you like to be the person telling a bunch of people who think the way they engage with fandom is so progressive and good that actually it's really not? would you like to bring up the word aphobia in regards to the things they post and bring to mind completely relevant parallels with things like homophobia and transphobia that they think they're above?

aro people get dogpiled and subjected to hate and mistreatment online just for saying they'd like to see more platonic friendships in media. ace people get dogpiled and subjected to hate and mistreatment online just for saying they don't like how unnecessary sex scenes have become a thing to be shoved so commonly into media. people will start screaming "homophobia!" and "purity culture!" and making up all these strawmen to argue against so that they can feel superior to and condescend to and make fun of aspecs. any mention of kink at pride invariably devolves into rampant and blatant acephobia from a website that insists acephobia is a thing of its past and they're so much better now. and it's not just random internet strangers. it gets put on my dash by people who are supposed to be my friends. so again. would you like to be the one to so nicely and politely explain to people and ask that aspecs pretty please be recognized as a portion of the queer community that matters and is worthy of respect?

at this point people know that aspec people exist and they continue to do this anyway. they'll claim to care about aspec people and insist that this is true until it comes to them actually having to change their behaviour. people don't want to accept that things they are doing are wrong and harmful. that's just how people are. allo (and even some aro, somehow) queers think they are engaging with fandom in such a progressive and morally pure way and do you really want to be the one to tell them that they're not?

I have had friends who have known perfectly well that I hate romance, have seen this on numerous, numerous occassions, and have still expected me to be thrilled about a particular romance because it was gay. (somehow people do not seem to realize that they are literally saying gay romance is not real romance when they do this. and yet I'm the homophobe.) it's really not a simple matter of just "explaining to people". not to mention that having to try to educate people on all this is fucking exhausting. aside from the actual figuring out what to say and how to say it and writing it all down you have to worry about the person not understanding anyway, or just brushing it all aside with cries of "homophobia!".

so you know, maybe consider taking some of that on instead of piling it all on my shoulders when I'm the one who will be most harmed by the outcome!

and please don't take this to mean that I want all of fandom to be all about friendships either. I may be alloplatonic but I am shaking hands with all my aplatonic comrades who are even more neglected in this sense than aros are. and in general, I would like to do what I can to speak out for you knowing that I am somewhat shielded from the outcome by virtue of being alloplatonic.

I've lost the thread of what I was ranting about at this point but no one's read this far anyway so 😇 anyway, if you do any of the stuff I wrote in the tl;dr and haven't unfollowed me yet and read this far instead (thank you!), please please please consider educating yourself on amatonormativity and how those kinds of comments are actually erasing an entire class of relationships had especially by, but not exclusively by, aspec people. please don't just dismiss this with the kneejerk reaction of "homophobia!!!". aspec people are queer people too and don't deserve to be erased for the purpose of propping other queer communities up. there are respectful ways to engage with fandom and shipping without doing this.

anyway i got a bunch of new followers and wanted to make sure to scare the aphobic ones away sooner rather than later :)

[loveless-romo]

Anyways on this year's pride month, please remember that not everyone celebrates their love as lgbt people and that there's a lot more to being in the community than love

[mossy-aro]

I just discovered the term loveless aromantic, and I really resonate with it. I don’t feel the word love truly describes how I feel for anything. However, I have used love in a “I like this thing” way before. Such as saying “I love horses.” I have also told my adults that I love my mother and sister (mostly to sound normal rather than saying “I care for them.” I worry about sounding heartless especially because I have past sexual trauma). I was just wondering if it’s normal to resonate with the identity even though I have said things like that before?

That is totally okay and a more than valid way to feel! You can definitely use the word “love” in that sense (and continue to do so) and be loveless!

Although I’m not loveless myself, I’ve also often felt disconnected from the idea of ‘love’ in a lot of ways, especially in saying ‘I love [this person]’ - but I find using the word ‘love’ is easier and less hurtful than saying ‘I care a lot about you’ lol, so that’s what I do. Plus, I’m pretty sure there are many loveless aros who use the word “love” in the sense of “I like [this thing].”

Lovelessness (in my view) is more about your personal feelings and conceptions about the idea of love and what it means to you, rather than the specifics of how you use that word in day to day life.

Tldr; yes it’s 100% normal to feel that way, and you can absolutely identify as loveless if you think that label fits :) I hope this answers your question!

[zephyr-heart]

[atmothart]

Wouldn't lizard fashion be something like spikes and scales and a frilled lizard collar?

Like so?

(Bonus art under the cut)

[styrofauxm]

I think people need to start seeing love as a neutral emotion. All kinds of love. You can love something, and use that love for good things or bad things. You can love something and do nothing.

Love isn't inherently good. No one is a worse person for not feeling it. No one is a better person for feeling it.

[sallertiafabrica]

When your love is insignificant.

A comic about my relationship with love as an aromantic and low-empathy person.

Just for context: I was having an aro anguish moment in the middle of the night, woke up and couldn’t sleep again, wrote out this poem-thingy so it’d leave my head, fell asleep again, then proceeded to work on this comic all day this evening, cuz I wanted to do an aro comic for the longest so might as well turn my night-anguish-induced-poem into one.

[redysetdare]

enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.

[knifearo]

loveless aros i am ride or fucking die for you forever

[darcyolsson]

time to find out who the real fan favourite is.

[vaporwavevox]

love isn't what makes you human yeah but maybe being human isn't what makes you worthy of respect

[gay-otlc]

I love you packers I love you sock cocks I love you STP devices I love you binders I love you phalloplasty I love you metoidioplasty (even though I hate trying to spell you) I love you top surgery I love you testosterone I love love love you transmasculinity

[loveless-romo]

Aplatonics 🤝 loveless people

Hating it when people say there are many other kinds of love, referring to platonicism

[t4tadrienette]

The absolute balls of that priest for calling Namor "niño sin amor" because he dared to like avenge all the indigenous people they were killing and torturing when he had just come back to land to bury his mother, that he loved so much, to let her rest in the land that she loved so much, that was stolen from her and her people

[butterflieswhisper]

arospecs !!! i am doing science

anywhere on the aromantic spectrum this applies to everyone!

[heartstopper-0bsessed]

“are you drunk?”

“i’m a poet” .

- solitaire