#maybe I am supposed to be taking something for anxiety too but then there's also not even something that just works for that

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

[pinolitas]

do people really sit through the process of experiencing new prescriptions and it's side effects several times until they find one that works? cus I give up so fast if the first one doesn't work I'm done

[kingkat12]

pornography (eric draven x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, foul language, groping/fondling, dry-humping lol, mentions of substance abuse

summary: when you finally talk to Eric Draven in rehab, it doesn't take long before you get drawn together by a force stronger than anything you have ever encountered. it doesn’t help the situation that you eventually find out Eric has been drawing pictures of you… nude

word count: 2,337 PART 1, PART 2, PART 3

a/n: this is for all the girlies like me that just came home from watching The Crow and got their mind blown by how hot Bill was in it... holy fuck. had to write this blurb because I am so shaken up, I can't feel my face. enjoy!! there will be more parts hihi...

"I fucking hate pink," 

I couldn't believe that was the first thing I said to him-- the dark and broody stranger I had been eyeing through my first few weeks in rehab. He stared back at me, confusion swimming in his big green eyes, probably pondering why I had sat down next to him in the cafeteria. "Pardon?"

"It's a little ridiculous," I tried, watching as he put down his cutlery, pushing his food away as he gave me his full attention. Tugging at my pink sweater, which we were all wearing, I let out a nervous chuckle. "Whose idea was it to put a lot of addicts in pink, anyway?"

My eyes darted down to his hands as I waited for his answer-- they were huge up close, and completely covered in tattoos. I hadn't noticed them from afar; I had only noticed the ones peeking through the top of his shirt when he would pass me by in the hall, or the big eye he had on his chest that I had seen while passing by his room. I knew it wasn't nice to peek into his room while he was changing, but I was quite frankly starved of any male contact-- any girl would go crazy in here. 

He eventually shrugged, giving me the answer I least expected; "I guess pink is supposed to be a calming colour. It's not that bad," I watched as the corners of his mouth tugged upwards, giving away hints of amusement. "Aren't you girls supposed to like pink?"

"Maybe," I mumbled, nudging food around on my plate with my fork. "I just don't like to wear it. It doesn't suit me."

The handsome stranger didn't seem to agree, another shrug following accompanied by a shy laugh. "I can't figure out whether you're being sincere or searching for compliments,"

This was most definitely not how I wanted to come off. I straightened up, resting my elbows against the table as I cleared my throat. "I'm just trying to make conversation,"

"... Why?"

"Because you've been staring at me almost as much as I've been staring at you," I put down my fork, hoping he didn't see how nervous I was. In truth, he had been staring-- it wasn't all purely one-sided. I had caught him staring at me in the courtyard, on my way to the shower, and I had also caught him lingering outside my room several times. He would usually leave when I came out, disappearing down the hall with speed I wouldn't even dream to catch up with. 

He finally gave in to a smirk, nodding to himself as he lowered his head. "Sorry," It was clear that he hadn't thought he'd be called out like this. However, something told me he wasn't too upset about being caught either. 

"Don't be," I said, feeling my anxiety ripping through my veins. Why was I indulging? "I just--"

It was at this moment that a guard appeared behind him, yanking him away from the table with a harshness that made me gasp. I clasped my hand over my mouth, watching as he barely reacted to the brutality. 

"Guys and girls eat separately!" the guard yelled at me, slamming his fist down on the table. 

My eyes widened, looking back at the handsome stranger. "But I-- I was the one who sat down here, he didn't do anything!" I protested, watching as the guard grabbed him and led him away. Groaning, I ran my hands through my hair, frustrated with the rules at this place. Why was it so fucking strict?

I eventually looked up just in time to see that the man had managed to turn around, smirking my way; "I'm Eric!" he said, holding back a laugh as he was shoved along the cafeteria for everyone to see.

Despite the horror washing over me for getting him in trouble, I managed to croak out my name as well. It seemed that he appreciated that I had at least tried to stick up for him-- What was it that I had just started?

My question would be answered a lot quicker than I had expected. 

A few days passed, and more looks and stares were exchanged. I was dying to talk to Eric again. I knew I hadn't been sent to rehab to make friends or get feelings for someone, but something was gnawing at me to talk to him again. I wanted to be around him constantly; what was happening to me? I recognized this feeling-- it was the same feeling I got when I really, really craved something... Fuck, how I missed drugs. Maybe Eric was turning into a substitute?

It wasn't often that the door to Eric's room was open, but today it was. I wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't taken the extra lap around the institute as usual, hoping to get a glimpse of him through the small window in his door. But today, I didn't have to get on my tippytoes to get a look-- there he was, picking up several drawings that had been scattered around the floor. His room looked like a mess, completely unlike how I was used to seeing it through the tiny window. This looked like the result of one of those raids that the prison guards sometimes did when they suspected there were hidden drugs in a patient's room. 

I felt sorry for him; I knew how horrible it could feel to have someone rip through all your stuff. But as I bent down and picked up a few drawings that were at my feet, my lips parted in surprise.

It seemed I wasn't the only one caught off guard; Eric noticed me standing in his doorway, letting out a relieved sigh as he watched me inspect his drawings. He called out my name, leaning against the wall as he sized me up and scanned me, crossing his arms over his chest. 

I cleared my throat; "Is this... me?" I held up the first drawing of the bunch. It was a sketch of me sitting in the courtyard, and I was sure that it was me-- I suppose it was my shock asking for confirmation. 

Eric snickered, kicking off the wall. "Yeah... Sorry,"

"Stop saying sorry," I shuffled through the drawings, finding he had drawn me in multiple settings, and it was clear that I had been watched the few weeks I'd been here. "These are beautiful, Eric... I guess I'm honoured--" My words trailed off as I finally approached the last drawing. Was that...?

He didn't even try to take it away from me. Eric sighed, looking away as his cheeks flushed a light pink, similar to our uniforms. 

Judging by his reaction, I had a feeling he wasn't so against me seeing this. It was a sketch of me, after all-- nude. 

I had to swallow rather hard for anything to go down. I couldn't pinpoint why I wasn't absolutely horrified at this.  "So... this is what you've been up to in here, huh?" There was no stopping the smirk that spread across my lips, holding back a flustered giggle. "This is next-level pervy, do you know that?"

It didn't take long before Eric's big hands ripped the drawings out of my hands, turning away as he shook his head. "Every artist needs a muse, no?"

"A muse? How can I be your muse if we don't know each other?"

"That's not how it works," he mumbled, throwing away the drawings into a heap on the bed. "Your beauty is all I need to get inspired."

This was enough to shock me into silence. I inhaled a sharp breath, stepping into Eric's room despite knowing it was forbidden. "So now you think I'm beautiful?"

Eric hummed, finally turning to meet my eyes. "It hasn't been the biggest secret, has it?" There was something playful about him, shameless, as though it didn't matter to him that I had just found his handmade porn. "It gets a little lonely in here, I guess. These drawings just... run out of me like water. Can't control it."

There was something so unimaginably tantalizing about Eric. Everything about him made me want to jump him then and there-- was it maybe the result of my withdrawals that were turning my brain into further mush? In a normal setting, this would have creeped me out to infinity and beyond, but knowing this was coming from the man I had been lusting after from afar for several weeks made me excuse it in a heartbeat. 

I had no idea what possessed me to close the door to his room and lock it, knowing the repercussions could be severe if we were caught. But Eric didn't seem to mind; his green eyes widened, watching my every move like a hawk.

"It was really pretty and all... The drawing, I mean," I said, inching closer to where he had sat down on the bed. "But would you maybe want some inspiration for the next one?"

Eric's plush, pink lips parted, eyes rounding out in surprise. Despite his shock, his big hands reached out for me as I came closer, and he pulled me in between his legs. I could feel him caressing my back through my shirt, holding me with the utmost gentle touch. "I'll take all I can get," he murmured, looking up at me through his brows, a knowing smirk spreading across his face. 

I let out a giggle as he pressed his lips against my stomach through my shirt, enjoying the intense feeling of someone against my skin again after all this time. Eric pulled away, glancing at the door before slowly trailing his fingers under my shirt, testing the waters. 

It didn't take long before that wasn't enough for him-- my breath hitched as Eric grabbed my waist, pulling me down with him on the bed. I barely had time to think before the euphoric feeling of being kissed engulfed me. Our lips met in an open, soft kiss, almost as though we were scared to break the other if we were too needy or harsh. As I straddled him, I felt his hands tugging at my shirt, dipping back under the fabric once more. His fingers gently ghosted over my lower back, eventually ending up trailing small circles with his thumbs along the underside of my bra. 

If I hadn't been so starved of any human contact in here, I would've never jumped the opportunity like this. But none of us knew how long we had until the guards would bust us, and it only fueled the adrenaline pumping through our veins. Our kisses became desperate, hungry, and I let out a whimper against his lips as he took the liberty of cupping my chest, feeling me up to his heart's delight. I knew I had been waiting for this moment since the first time I saw him, and I wasn't about to let it slip through my fingers-- I decided to let him do whatever he wanted to me, no matter what. 

I could feel Eric's cock twitch beneath me, clearly aroused. It was also at this moment that he made me sit up, tugging my shirt off of me before laying back down to scan me. Was he memorizing my body for his next sketch? It wasn't every night that I had a handsome stranger beneath me like this, so I allowed him to trail his hands up and down my body, lips parting in delight. "Fuck... Yeah, this will do," he murmured, pupils dilating at the sight before him whether he wanted them to or not.

"You sure?" I asked, giggling to myself. My hands rested against his broad chest, letting out a sigh of delight; God, he was sexy. As I shifted in his lap, Eric's breath hitched as I seemingly sat down in the exact right spot. Almost as though he was possessed by instinct for a moment, he grabbed my hips, rocking me against him through the fabric of our clothes. 

Who would've thought I'd be dry-humping this stranger and enjoy it so much? My hands gripped his shirt, a quiet moan spilling past my lips-- I had forgotten this feeling. This was mostly something I did when I was a teenager, before I figured out how to have proper sex with my high school boyfriend. But it felt so damn fucking good, desperate; it didn't take long before I leaned back down, capturing his plush lips in another kiss. 

I craved him like water. I wanted him against me, in me, for him to take me in every possible position ever-- a deep, dark part of me knew I would be insatiable from now on. 

But our moment of ecstasy was interrupted when a guard started banging his fist against the door, his muffled yells barely registering through my arousal. Despite my dazed state, it didn't take me long to drape my shirt back on, climbing off Eric with wobbly knees. "Shit," I mumbled, turning to him with wide eyes. "I'm screwed. We're screwed."

Everything about him was so damn beautiful. The kiss-swollen lips definitely didn't help how gorgeous I thought he looked right now. Despite the situation, knowing we were in deep shit, Eric let out a soft chuckle; "I don't think you're screwed enough, actually. We'll get to that another time," 

My eyes widened as I gave into a light giggle. There was no way this was happening-- had my naughty rehab dreams come true? The guard banging against the door was drowned out by the incessant ringing in my ears that festered through my mind as Eric leaned down to kiss me one last time; "I hope to see you around, if they don't kill us,"

"Yeah," I breathed, only now realizing how tall he was as I looked up to meet his gaze. This man was towering over me. Holy shit. "Can't wait to see your next masterpiece."

I couldn't wait. I really couldn't.

(a/n: PART 2, PART 3 here!! enjoy<33)

[luckykiwiii101]

HOW TO ENTER THE VOID STATE WITHOUT VOID CONCEPT!!! (Guaranteed) ❦❦❦❦❦❦❦

(Warning!!!Long post ahead)

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🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I know some people will heavily disagree with me about this. But I really believe there is a way to enter the void without having to have a good void concept.

All you need is to believe in the void state. That’s it.

The technique:

- Get into a comfortable position.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

- Clear your mind with a meditation or something. Maybe by breathing etc, whatever works for you. I really recommend DMT waves to calm your mind. Know that it is important to feel calm physically and mentally. Although it is not completely necessary if you are experienced.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

- Once you feel relaxed and have a clear mind, start to affirm your affs for the void state. E.g. “I am pure consciousness” “I am void” “I am in the void state” (You don’t need to affirm, just do anything that distracts you from the 3D, like focusing on your breath, or focusing on the darkness behind your eyes. Anything is alright as long as it doesn’t lead to you falling asleep or paying attention to the 3D).🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

- Acknowledge that you do not need to completely block out the 3D. What i mean by “block out” is that you may still be able to hear and feel the 3D. Just don’t focus your attention onto it. Your attention should be on your affirmations or whatever else you chose to focus on (doesn’t have to be affirmations). Also if you get an itch, ignore it, but if it’s too unbearable and it’s completely ruining your focus, there’s no harm in scratching it. You may ask “but why can i scratch it? I have to stay still or i won’t enter the void.” The thing is, this technique does not require you to turn off your left brain as you will normally start to feel symptoms within 2-5 minutes within doing so, and it takes 15-20 minutes to turn off your left brain. Of course you can turn off your left brain by relaxing whilst staying still for 15-20 minutes if that is what you resonate with better. Know that scratching an itch, or shuffling around does not stop you from entering the void. It does not “ruin your progress” either. That is impossible. The void is within you, you cannot run from yourself. YOU ARE THE VOID!🖤🖤🖤

- Know that you do not have to feel symptoms like floating. This is a big misconception. Ofcourse symptoms are very common, but not everyone experiences them. People feel like they can’t enter the void because the symptoms aren’t there to “tell them” that they are “doing it right”. As long as you are not focused on the 3D, you ARE doing it right. Stop stressing. You are supposed to feel relaxed. Stressing is the opposite of relaxation.🖤🖤🖤🖤

- This process will probably take you around 5 minutes. Ofcourse it depends on you as a person. Like how long it takes you to clear your mind. Or how long it takes you to feel comfortable. This should not take more than 1-10 minutes. Most likely will take 2-5 minutes. But don’t worry if it takes longer than that. Erase the stress and anxiety from your mind because you know for a fact that you are going to enter the void. I promise that this cannot fail you. It is literally impossible. It is not based on assumption. It doesn’t matter whether you believe it’s difficult to enter the void state. Just know that you are going to enter the void very quickly because there is no other outcome after doing this. There is no “failure”. 🖤🖤🖤🖤

- You will most likely start to feel floating symptoms etc. Spinning, falling (If you are someone who doesn’t usually feel symptoms, that is fine). When things get more intense the floating feeling might make you feel like you are “panicking”. But don’t worry, just focus and relax. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

- THIS IS A VERY CRUCIAL PART!!! Do not focus on your symptoms. Of course you can feel them, but do not pay attention to them. Do not focus on them. There you go. You are in the void.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

See how easy it is. Try it for yourself and watch how failure doesn’t exist. I don’t care what your void concept is like. I don’t care whether you think you can’t do it. You have no choice when doing this method. This has been used for years and years. It is literally just detachment from the 3D. It is not difficult.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

BIG MISTAKES PEOPLE MAKE:

Some people make some really silly mistakes and then complain about “not being able to enter the void.”🖤🖤🖤

MISTAKE NUMBER 1:

- Anticipating entering the void. Your goal should be to relax. Of course to eventually enter the void, but if you are anticipating by thinking “When am i going to enter the void?!” “When am i going to start feeling symptoms?” then you are just going to stress yourself out. Do not do this! When you are clearing your mind, set the intention of entering the void and just relax and know that you are going to enter.🖤🖤🖤

MISTAKE NUMBER 2:

- Thinking that movement is not allowed. You ARE allowed to move around and adjust your position. It doesn’t “slow you down” or “ruin your progress”. It doesn’t stop you from entering. So stop stressing. Moving around only matters when you are turning your left brain off, but this method does not require that. I’ve moved around plenty of times and i’ve seen many success stories of people who have moved around whilst literally having a terrible void concept on top of that.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

MISTAKE NUMBER 3:

- When people start to feel the symptoms, they drift their attention to the 3D and how their physical body feels. DO NOT DO THIS!! Just keep focusing on what you were focusing on before, then you will enter the void in a few seconds. Literally. I always used to do this and just yesterday i stopped letting the symptoms get the best of me and get distracted by them, i kept persisting in my affirmations whilst affirming to enter the void and i felt myself entering but since i didn’t want to enter (because i am a dumbass), i woke myself up. But it’s TOO easy. Okay. Ignoring symptoms are ridiculously easy.

WHAT TO DO IF I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO IGNORE SYMPTOMS?

There are many ways you can ignore symptoms:

For mild focus (when you don’t feel symptoms yet):

- Focus on breathing and breathing only.

- Focus on affirming and affirming only.

- Focus on the darkness behind eyes only

For when you start to feel symptoms but they aren’t that intense:

- Focus on breathing and affirming only.

- Focus on breathing and darkness only.

- Focus on affirming and darkness only.

For when symptoms start to get really intense and you can feel yourself entering the void:

- Focus on all three simultaneously.

If you still find it easy to focus on ONE thing when things get intense (which they might not) then that’s fine. You don’t have to focus on more than one thing. That’s just a solution for people who can’t. Also i just have examples of what to focus on. Ofc you can focus on random thoughts or anything detached from the 3D. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

See how easy it is. Go enter the void rn and have fun whether you just wanted peace or to manifest something!!!🖤🖤🖤

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🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Sincerely, - Gossip Girl 💋💋💋

[juniperskye]

Begin Again.

Sneak peek: Reader got out of a relationship about eight months ago and was sure love was meant to burn and break and end…but this particular Wednesday made her believe that maybe, just maybe, she could begin again with someone new.

Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) Reader

Angst/Fluff

Word count: 1236

***Flashbacks are indented and in italics – this story flashes from present to past a few times. ***

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, implied age gap (kinda?), anxiety, self-consciousness, Past abusive relationship, explicit LANGUAGE,  no use of y/n, mention of Jack, mention of Hotch’s previous relationship, story is guided by begin again by Taylor Swift (lyrics aren’t all directly used), mention of a love of the Beatles. I think that’s all, let me know if I missed any!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

You glanced at yourself in the mirror, second guessing your outfit choice.  Were the heels too much? Would he comment on them, would he be okay with them? Maybe you should switch to flats, they would be a safer choice.

“Babe seriously. Do you have to wear heels?” He berated you. “These are the shoes she told us to wear. I can’t switch shoes I’m a bridesmaid and were all supposed to look uniform.” You explained. “Really? You’re going to make me look so fucking stupid. Who cares if she chose those, just tell her the didn’t fit or the clasp broke or something.” “I’m not doing that.” You said. “You’re so difficult. Just change your shoes, it’s not a big deal. I just don’t want to look like a fucking idiot because my girlfriend is towering over me.” He continued.

You could remember multiple arguments that went that way. Him yelling at you for dressing how you wanted, so you didn’t. He started picking out your clothes and you complied, because that was easier than having him tear you down.

You smoothed your hands over your clothes and made your way out the door. The drive to the Café was a short one. You parked and made your way across the street, ready to go in and get a table for the two of you, fully expecting to have beaten him there.

To your surprise, when you opened the door, there he was. Aaron stood from his seat and walked toward you. You met him halfway and he pulled you into a gentle embrace. You didn’t fail to notice how he still towered over you despite your heels,

“Hi! It’s so good to see you.” He said pulling out your chair.

“Oh, thank you! It’s good to see you too, I was really glad you called.” You smiled as Aaron returned to his seat across from you.

“Yeah, sorry that it’s a random Wednesday, but with my job it makes it so hard and with us being free today I wanted to take the chance and spend it with you.” Aaron explained.

“I am happy to be here! The day doesn’t matter.” You shot Aaron a shy smile.

“You look beautiful by the way.”

You couldn’t help but blush at Aaron’s words. He had been so kind and gentle with you since you had started seeing one another. You had only gone on a few dates, but things were really good. The two of you had agreed to take things slow, having both gotten out of relationships not too long ago and Aaron also had Jack to think about. You guys had texted and talked on the phone quite a bit. He had gone as far as to call you late one night after a particularly rough case.

The two of you were currently talking about how your respective weeks have gone. Aaron had just gotten back from a case (hence why you were on your date now) and you had just completed a pretty big project at work. In the midst of your conversation, the song playing in the café changed to I Will by the Beatles, one of your favorite songs.

“Oh my god I love this song!” You gushed, quietly humming along.

“You like the Beatles?” Aaron asked.

“I love them! I have every one of their albums on vinyl.” You blushed.

“I don’t think I have ever met a woman with the same level of Beatles obsession as my own.” Aaron smiled at you in admiration.

The two of you ate while quietly enjoying the music and one another’s company.

“For if I ever saw you, I didn’t catch your name. But it never really mattered, I will always feel the same. Love you forever and forever, love you with all my hear- “ “Jesus, can you stop fucking singing that song?” He huffed. “Babe, it’s a really good song, I wish you would just listen to the words.” “I don’t give a shit about your stupid song. I don’t get it anyway.” He shut you down.

Aaron and you continued your conversation upon finishing your meal. You were in pure bliss with how amazing things were going. Aaron was attentive and gave you his full attention. He nodded and responded when it was needed. He also held conversation so well, he gave just enough information about himself in combination with asking you about yourself.

Another thing that had you swooning over Aaron was the fact that he had thrown his head back in laughter a few times throughout your conversation. You truly couldn’t wrap your head around how lucky you had been to have met Aaron. Your ex had never found your sense of humor funny, and it was nice to be in the presence of someone who appreciated it.

“Can you not make jokes like that when we’re in front of my friends? Like seriously what the fuck was that?” He demanded. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a joke. Your friends laughed.” You shrugged. “It wasn’t even funny. They just laughed out of pity to save you from the embarrassment of nobody understanding your stupid ass jokes.” He rolled his eyes at you as he stormed off.

Aaron checked his watch and noticed how late it was getting. He looked into your eyes and smiled, neither one of you wanting this day to end. But he needed to go pick up Jack from soccer practice.

“Can I walk you to your car?” Aaron asked.

“That would be great.” You smiled, wrapping your scarf around your neck.

As you made your way over to your car, you thought about talking to Aaron about how your ex had truly broken you, and that part of the reason you’d requested to take things so slowly is because you had to relearn how to accept love from someone. The last eight months had allowed you time to fall in love with yourself again, but loving someone else was a whole new obstacle you were working through.

Aaron’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, he had been talking about how he wanted to introduce you to Jack, not now, but in the near future. He had come up with a nice way to do so.

“So, Jack and I always watch Elf and the Grinch around Christmas, I think it could be nice if one night you came over and watched one of them with us, you know. It gives us a few more weeks to really solidify things between us and by then we will have been seeing each other for four months. What do you say?” Aaron looked hopefully at you.

“Only if it’s the Jim Carrey Grinch movie. That new animated one is cute and all, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the live action.” You smiled back at him.

“Of course, it’s the Jim Carrey one. We take things very seriously at our house.” Aaron smirked at you.

Aaron and you shared a laugh, and then he brushed his hand over your cheek, leaned in, and kissed you gently. December couldn’t come fast enough. Things with your ex had really messed you up, and he’d left you believing that love wasn’t meant to flourish, just burn, and break and end.

But on a Wednesday, in a Café you watched it begin again.

[justin-chapmanswers]

Sorry if this is a bit rude, but how do you consider yourself as he/they or they/he? I am questioning my sexuality and gender at the moment and seeing you (idk if ur lgbt) makes me find comfort, if you can, how did you realise you were not straight and how I can find mine! :3

Oh golly uh. Let's see if I can keep this short and then bury it under other answers. <3

Labels are fun cause they're so funky and ever-changing as you learn more about yourself. So, firstly, don't stress about finding something so perfect right away and bounding yourself to it. You're still you, any way you word it.

Gender-wise I'm in a state of def preferring they but being chill enough with he. Like whateverrrrr. It's hard to get around societal norms and perceptions, so my expectations are calibrated accordingly. I of course feel that for people who feel more strongly about a specific label, it's important to fight for it to be recognized whenever you're in a safe-enough environment to do-so. But for me, the concept of pushing for a specific label or, even more-so, of seeing other people pushing others to use a specific label for me is veryyyy anxiety-inducing. I tend to avoid spotlight when possible. But at the same time, a lot of it just comes down to not wanting to be grouped/perceived gender-ly at all. I tend to use the label agender. But I'm sure a lot of people have similar experiences with different labels. I just, ya'know, wanna be me.

Gender exploration is funnnn. There's no one right way to learning about yourself. Some people know from a young age, almost inherently, some people figure things out a lot later. It's never too late. Some people learn with outfits and styles, some with looking to people/characters who they want to be perceived more-like, some with experimenting through new names/pronouns and feeling-out how being called different things makes them feel. If you have friends you feel safe around with all of this, on or offline, can't hurt to say "hey would ya mind calling me x-name or y-pronoun for a bit?" And if you don't like it, you don't need to stick with it. But really be cognizant of it feels right to you.

Then on the romantic orientation side, that's been a much longer journey haha. I was calling myself straight through middle schooler, bi for a bit in early high school, gay starting in later high school, then for a long while. Nowadays I just say queer. Labels make things easier, until they don’t haha. For me, if you imagine a scale of feminity to masculinity with like little pegs running down the line from 0 to 10, with 5 in the middle, I tend to find myself attracted to people in like the 4 to 8 range? Something like that. But even that's not perfectly consistent! There's never going to be a perfect word for everything. That's why I like queer as an umbrella term. It's also just a cute word, I don't make the rules.

Hence earlier when I mentioned that you should just feel free to keep it open and not close yourself off. Maybe nothing'll change, but what if something does? But of course, I assume you're asking from more of a place of just starting this journey. I'm trying to get my mind back to where I started with that. I think the first time the not-straight realization hit was when a friend of mine didn't show up to an event and I was all like "why am I so miserably sad that he wasn't there?" And then a lightbulb appeared over my head and out-loud I said "aw damnit." And then things have been weird and confusing ever since.

But in terms of giving advice, it's hard to not just be like "uhh idk just hang out with people that makes you feel gooey." But obviously it's more complicated than that. A decade ago, I was taking random "am I gay" tests online. But they're kinda silly cause the questions on those would ask me to fill in information about how I feel, but how am you supposed to know how I feel without the test telling me how I feel??????? So realistically, I'd advise private journaling. Just take some time, even five minutes. Start now. Write out who you are drawn to, in any sense, and how they make you feel. Especially if you're like me and have trouble self-reflecting unless I force myself to. Like. In a Tumblr post.

There's so many ways to explore. It's also nice to look at relationships in life and media and seeing if you connect to any relationship or long to fit into someone's place within a relationship. That's why representation matters, baybeeeee! But also, ya'know, talking to people goes a long way to learning about yourself. Trial 'n error let's gooooo.

And above all: you got this.

[elvensorceress]

idk I get incredibly angry at homophobes being cast on my gay shows. anybody want the start of my fic where Eddie dumps her bigoted ass and then has a gay ole sexy time with his husband and his husband's new boyfriend? because here. you can have. it's cathartic 💕

test drive - 2K, BuckTommy, BuckEddieTommy, Buddie endgame forever / Explicit

The restaurant is dimly lit in a way that might be classy and romantic, but Tommy’s hand is also on Buck’s thigh. And he’s having a lot of very not-classy, not even very romantic sorts of thoughts. Everything is far more along the lines of, he could put his hand on my dick, and I know what his cock feels like down my throat, and why are we here in a public place when we could be back at my loft taking turns fucking each other until we’re both a mess of cum and lube and sweat and sexy bruises and love bites? Because all of that is way more appealing than what they are sitting here, waiting to do. 

If it were just one of their dates, it’d be great. Those are fantastic. Tommy likes to pick him up and take him to nice places and he smiles in a really, really soft cute way that also has an air of, I am going to fuck you until you scream and you will love every second. And holy fucking god, does Buck love every second. 

Bisexuality, man. Who knew? 

It’s so fantastic. It’s so different? Or maybe it’s just that Tommy is different because he’s ridiculously cool and hot and Buck always really liked when someone knew what they wanted and would take the lead and he could do everything in his power to please them and make them feel good. Confidence is infinitely sexy and competence even more so. And Tommy has all of that in spades. 

And Buck loves men. Buck really loves men. It makes so much sense and how had he never even considered? Maybe he considered but he sure as hell never realized wanting a man and being attracted to a man was something that fit so well. Fuck, it fits so well. 

Maybe he could even end up with a man someday? Maybe he could marry a man and have a relationship that is like this all the time for the rest of his life? Not that he doesn’t like women still. Women are great. People who don’t identify as either or they identify as both or however they choose— they’re great, too. 

Everyone is hot and Evan Buckley is very bisexual, and it just might be one of the greatest revelations he’s ever had. 

He’s just really, really enjoying being with a man right now. 

He is not, however, enjoying the thought of this dinner. Everything about this dinner makes his stomach a washing machine of anxiety. For no reason. He doesn’t know why. There’s nothing wrong with it. 

Why wouldn’t he and his boyfriend go on a double date with his best friend who is their mutual friend, and his best friend’s girlfriend. What is wrong with that? It’s fine. Should be— fun? 

Shouldn’t be a bad taste in his mouth that the wine still hasn’t gotten rid of and roiling in his stomach that is really killing his appetite. But it very much is. 

Tommy squeezes Buck’s thigh and rubs it in a way that surely is supposed to be comforting. But it makes Buck want to drag him out of this restaurant and back to the loft where he can show Tommy how good he is at fucking him now. Not just because it would be a thousand times better than the prospect of this dinner. The bar is so low on the ground, it’s buried at this point. But also because sex with his new boyfriend is better than— actually, Buck is having a hard time thinking of anything that is better right now. 

Very hard time. 

They’ve been practicing. Everything. Blowjobs, fucking, fingering, ball massages, prostate milking, rimming— all sorts of really fun things Buck never even imagined could feel so good. Not that he was oblivious to a lot of it. He has toys. His ex was into pegging. Buck might have been unaware of how intense and gay— well, bi. He’s bi now. Buck is bi now. Probably always was but he knows it now. He’s bisexual.— his attraction to men could be. But he was not unaware of sexual acts that feel good to his body. 

But it’s totally different with a real man and a real cock and being manhandled by someone who might actually be bigger and stronger than you is really fucking hot. 

He checks his watch again and it’s already 7:28. They’re almost half an hour late. Which is so not like Eddie. He’s not sure if Marisol is like that but he knows for sure Eddie is either fifteen minutes early for everything or he texts if there is a problem. Even then, he’s only ever a few minutes late. If that. And last Buck checked, there were no new messages on his phone. 

He checks again, and still nothing. Not even to Buck’s message of, hey u ok? u on the way? He frowns and sets his phone back on the table and turns to Tommy. “How long before I’m allowed to be really worried?”

Tommy gives him an amused smile. “You can be worried.”

“How long before we need to bother Athena? Ten more minutes? Five? Sh-should I bother Athena now?”

Tommy’s eyebrows scrunch and he looks at Buck like he’s crazy. Okay, it’s probably crazy. Just. He’s worried? That must be the churning in his stomach. “I’m sure Eddie’s fine. It hasn’t been that long. And he’s Eddie.”

Yeah. Yeah, he’s Eddie. But Eddie was also shot downtown in the middle of broad daylight and nearly bled out all over, and there’s not much anyone can do even if they are trained in hand to hand combat and self-defense and those kinds of things. Not many ways to defend against a sniper round that shouldn’t even be a thing. 

Not that Buck is thinking about that. Ever. 

He’s just turning into a washing machine over this dinner. That’s all. 

Five minutes later, some of it finally eases when Eddie finally shows up and sits down across from them. Alone. 

Alone?

“Sorry, guys,” Eddie runs a hand through his hair and breathes like he’s run a hundred miles. He’s hardly been looking distressed at all lately. He’s been glowing smiles and pretty laughs. Not pretty. Nice? Good? Good that he’s so much happier and at peace. 

But he’s not that now. 

“I would’ve—” Eddie checks his own watch, one that was a Christmas present that Buck had engraved with, all the time you need, and must realize how late he actually is. “Fuck. Sorry. Really sorry. I’ll buy? Unless you’ve already eaten and paid and are about to leave.” 

Tommy shakes his head and has that nice smile that’s so reassuring. “We haven’t. Don’t worry about it.”

“We were waiting,” Buck adds and itches to ask him what’s wrong, why he’s late, why he looks— like he isn’t okay. 

“Great.” Eddie nods tersely and it sounds anything but great. “They got anything stronger than wine and cocktails here? Because—” He doesn’t say. But he does make a face the conveys everything. 

“Doubt it,” Tommy says. “But we can get something somewhere else. Is Mar— Mari?”

“Marisol,” Buck supplies. Not that it matters. Not that he cares. Is he supposed to care? There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s fine. 

“Right,” Tommy says, which should say everything. Eddie’s been hanging out with Tommy for months, Buck’s been with Tommy for months, and Tommy is pretty damn good at remembering people’s names. “Marisol. Is she still on the way?”

Eddie’s jaw gets very tight. “No. We’re done.” 

Tommy looks at Buck and Buck looks at Tommy. They’re done? They broke up? Not that it’s particularly surprising. Part of the curse of dating someone you met on a call. Gotta be. Also the whole thing where Eddie has some kind of commitment issues or something because as soon as he gets a girlfriend, he has to spend all his time doing anything besides being with said girlfriend.

“So, drinking?” Tommy says. 

Buck pushes his wine glass across the table. They usually share when they eat together. Drinks, food, anything. And he’s happy to offer it to the cause. 

“Yes, drinking.” Eddie takes Buck’s wine and downs all of it. 

Eddie’s single again. Marisol isn’t coming to dinner and she’s not part of their lives any longer. Not that Buck has a problem with her. She’s fine. She was nothing really. That wasn’t going to last. Eddie likes the idea of being with someone. So he says. He’s allergic to actually having a relationship for some reason. 

The washing machine in Buck’s stomach disappears though. Which is so much better. Now, it’s just Buck hanging out with his best friend and his boyfriend. 

Maybe there’s a little washing machine. It’s nothing though. 

They order food and drinks, and Eddie only goes through a couple shots and three glasses of wine and one beer. But he eats and also drinks water and doesn’t seem inebriated at all. So, they focus on the meal and Tommy’s latest work stories of helicopter rescues. 

It’s not until after Buck discreetly hands their waiter his credit card before they’re actually brought the bill, that Eddie actually starts talking.

“I kind of fucked up. Didn’t mean to. I owe you an apology,” he says and looks at Buck with worlds of regret and sorrow. 

Whatever it is, Buck forgives him. He’s sure he’s done far worse than whatever it is. “Why? What, uh, what happened?”

Eddie doesn’t look at him. Or Tommy. He does shake his head but not like he’s saying no. More like he’s disgusted. “I let it slip that you two are— that you’re. Dating. Together. Boyfriends? Do you call each other that? Are you boyf— never mind, I let it slip. I’m sorry. That was my bad. Not my secret to tell.”

Tommy looks scrunched and confused again and Buck— he doesn’t understand what the problem is? No, he hasn’t told many people yet. But it’s not a secret that he and Tommy are together. 

“Eds,” Buck says and immediately thinks he probably shouldn’t have called him that. He doesn’t know why. But he shouldn’t. “It’s fine. I’m not— It’s not a secret. I’m not hiding. Or— or in the closet? I’m out. Now. I’m bi and—” And he’s really happy about that. He really loves it. He’s bisexual. He loves women and men and whoever regardless of gender. And holy shit, does he love men right now. He really, really loves being with a man. He looks to his side and grins brightly at Tommy. “And I’m not ashamed or embarrassed that Tommy and I are together.”

There’s a cute half smile that curves the side of Tommy’s mouth and Buck so wants to kiss him. And do all sorts of other things with him. 

“Well. Good.” Eddie taps his finger on an empty shot glass like he’s contemplating ordering another. “Still. Didn’t go well. Didn’t mean to out you like that.”

“Didn’t go well?” Tommy asks. “Saying that Evan and I are dating didn’t go well?”

Eddie purses his lips and does a slow, exaggerated shake of his head. “Nope. But at least I learned that now. Has the waiter brought our check yet? Because I’m just going to drink more if I don’t head out soon. Not that I’m sad about her or anything. I’m pissed. You think you know someone, and no. No, she’s a raging homophobe.”

She— oh. Oh, that’s what happened. “She broke up with you because we’re gay? Bi and gay? Or— you know what I mean.” Is Tommy gay? Or bi? Or something else? Buck hasn’t actually asked what label he uses. How he qualifies his sexuality. He felt weird asking. It’s so personal. Is he supposed to ask? All he knows is that Tommy was into him. Tommy kissed him and it was breathtaking, incredible, magnificent and changed Buck’s whole life. He didn’t really think anything beyond that. Couldn’t really think beyond that. 

Eddie definitively points at himself and then at phantom nothingness. “I dumped her. Because I said this was a double date with you guys and she said, well not really, and I said, no really. It’s a double date. Her and me and both of you. Double date. Except not her. Ever. Anymore. Because she had to go off about how it was wrong and made her uncomfortable and I ‘let both of you be alone with Christopher?’ And it couldn’t possibly be a date like me and her would go on a date because she’s a woman and I’m a man and that was normal. But you two are both men. Both muscular, powerful, masculine, manly firemen type men— so it could never be the same especially because neither one of you are flamey or girly or whatever, so it could never work, the two of you since neither one of you is ‘The Girl.’ Which is all bullshit. By the way. Obviously. And,” he finally stops and breathes, and there’s a hard swallow in his throat and his eyes are distant and his whole body is strung tight and if he could breathe fire? He probably would. Holy shit, he’s pissed off. Buck isn’t even sure he’s ever seen Eddie this angry at anyone who hasn’t hurt someone he loves. 

Although. Technically she did? Not hurt per se, Buck doesn’t give a shit about what she thinks of him. But she was insulting them. So. Yeah, okay, of course fiercely protective Eddie would be angry. 

“And anyway,” Eddie says, still never quite looking at Buck or even at Tommy. Never quite focusing on them. “That’s how I’m single and back on the market again.” He smiles a wide, bitter, snarky kind of smile, and steals the half-full beer glass in front of Buck and downs it in one gulp. 

(Read on AO3)

[charmandabear]

Office Hours - Chapter Six

Summary:

Astarion surprises you with a night at the theatre that doesn't go quite according to your plan.

Pairing: Astarion/F!Reader Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4.7k Tags/Warnings: rough/angry sex, hair pulling, emotional manipulation, dubcon, bad BDSM practices, angst, daddy kink, reminiscent of Ascended!Astarion, discussions of domestic abuse (in Taming of the Shrew)

Hi. Hello. My sweets. My darlings. This is it. The chapter where you absolutely must mind the tags. Just know that I won't take you anywhere that we won't be able to come back from. Know that I, too, am an absolute baby when it comes to intense subject matter in fics. But I want you to take care of yourselves and your hearts. As always, shoot me a message if you'd like more specifics.

Photo credits: Zaria for Green Pussy Suit Astarion and Nephi Garcia for the incredible dress.

Read on AO3 ~ Masterlist

“In the library? Babes, are you insane?” Shadowheart's voice reaches a pitch you’re fairly sure only dogs can hear. You curl your knees into your chest and cover your face in your hands, feeling the exact appropriate amount of shame.

“I know, I know. All logic goes out the fucking window around him. All I can think is ‘mm, good dick makes brain go brr.’” You let out a frustrated sigh into your hands.

“Do you want to get fired?” She pulls your hand from your face so you can't hide from her pointed stare.

“Oh trust me, I ran about forty different scenarios of that happening through my head on the drive home.”

“Did you, now? And in how many of these did he also get fired?” Shadowheart presses, knowing how your anxiety can get out of hand.

“Like, two,” you groan and drop your head back onto the couch cushions. “I don't know what comes over me. I feel like I can't tell him no.”

“Wait, wait.” Shadowheart grips your knee, suddenly worried. “You can't tell him no as in it feels too good to stop? Or as in it doesn't feel safe to say no?”

“Nine hells, no, the first one!” you respond, horrified. She squints at you and you squirm under her gaze until you’re finally more truthful, both with her and yourself. “Well, I mean, mostly. Like it's not like that. But like also not not like that, you know?”

“I can assure you I do not,” she says in a flat voice, not interested in joking around. You sigh dramatically, trying to find the right words to describe how you feel.

“Like. Okay. Am I fully consenting to everything we do? Yes. 100%. Oh gods, yes.” Your cheeks tinge pink even thinking about it. “But like… am I going against my best judgment? Do I feel like I should say no? Does part of me kinda wish I would say no? Like… maybe?”

“Tav, that's not okay. You need to talk to him about this.” Shadowheart’s voice is soft with genuine worry. Which is ridiculous, because she’s focusing on the wrong thing.

“No, see, that's the thing. It's not actually a him issue, it's a me issue. Like there's something wrong with me, I see his most toxic traits and suddenly I'm like a horny teenager!” Your voice increases in pitch as you grow more hysterical. “How am I supposed to call him out on it when the only words that will come out of my mouth are ‘yes daddy, more please’?”

“Is there anything redeemable about him at all? Besides being good in bed?” She leans back, taking a sip of her wine and fixing you with an incredulous look. 

“I mean… yeah. He’s witty, and bantering back and forth with him is fun. He’s incredibly smart, as loath as I am to admit it, and I like hearing his ideas on things, especially his interpretation of Shakespeare’s text.” You don't even notice the smile growing on your face, but Shadowheart does. “And he’s got this unexpectedly soft side. Like he seems cold and aloof on the outside, but he cares, deeply. About his students, about his cat, about-”

“About you?” she interjects, and your smile falters.

“I don't know, Shade,” you say quietly, almost ashamed to look her in the eye. “I think so. I hope so. But it's not like we've been seeing each other for that long, he’s under no obligation to feel anything.” You practically swallow the last sentence, a truth you're reticent to voice. 

“And you?” she asks softly.

“Man, I don't fucking know. I just want to keep getting laid and not catch feelings, is that so much to ask?” you whine. She laughs, but you can tell that she's only humoring you.

“For you? Probably.”

***

It's been several days and your busy schedules have kept you and Astarion apart for most of it. Save the occasional tension-filled passing in the hall, you've barely interacted at all. You're almost beginning to believe that your whirlwind affair has come to an end when you find a mystery package at your apartment door.

It's made out to you with no discernable return address. You bring the box into your apartment while examining it, trying to ascertain its origin. It doesn't even really look like it was sent through the mail, it looks like it was dropped off.

You take out your phone and call down to the front desk. It rings a few times, then a somber voice answers.

“What dost thou require?” His voice is deep and crackled, like some ancient eternal being.

“Hi Withers, it's Tav in 3C. Do you know anything about this package that was left at my door?”

“I have inspected it, and determined it safe for you to open. It was brought by someone claiming to be a friend.”

“Can you tell me anything about this someone?”

“No.”

And the line goes dead. You laugh and shake your head. If Withers says it's safe, then it probably is. You’d trust that wrinkly old man with your life, honestly. You cut open the tape sealing the box shut and lift off the top.

Inside is something wrapped in tissue paper with a note stuck to it in Astarion's immaculate handwriting. 

Tomorrow evening The Rosewood Seven o’clock Wear nothing underneath

You let out a small involuntary moan when you read the last three words. You carefully unwrap the tissue paper to find a fabric that looks like it's made of starlight. You pull out the midnight black dress and go slightly breathless when you get a good look at it. 

It’s a backless dress with a sweetheart neckline and intricate gold embellishments that almost make it look like armor. It has a lavish gold neck piece attached by several gold chains that drip over the skin. The skirt is made of a weightless black fabric that shimmers with gold as you move it in the light. It almost appears to be cut into two panels with dual hip-high slits.

With a dress cut like this, you wouldn't be able to wear undergarments even if you wanted to.

Your heart hammers in your chest as you think about what he might have in store for you. You're not even sure what's running at the Rosewood right now, but it could be complete trash and you wouldn't even care. You probably won't even be able to pay attention, too distracted by Astarion sitting next to you for two hours.

You feel a pulsing between your legs at the thought. You think of his hand sliding up your knee while you struggle to keep a straight face. Or him reaching an arm around you, gently sliding his fingers into your hair before giving it a sharp tug.

Another moan works its way out of your throat and you follow it up with an annoyed groan. You can really get swept up at the most inconvenient times. It’s not like you don’t have any work you need to do or anything. You roll your eyes as you stalk off to draw a bath.

***

Waiting in the lobby of the theater, you’re feeling surprisingly nervous. The dress, though beautiful, is not particularly comfortable. With all of its various chains and pieces, you needed Shadowheart’s help just to put it on. It helps that she’s also incredibly talented when it comes to hair and makeup, so in truth you feel positively glamorous. 

When you see Astarion, however, everything goes silent. You’re certain that he’s posing for you the way he’s stopped to adjust his cuff. The cut of the suit he’s wearing is exceptionally flattering and you imagine running your hands all over the emerald velvet. His crisp white button down is almost sheer and you desperately want to pull him into you by that forest green silk tie. 

But you can’t tear your eyes away from his face. This is the first time you've seen him wear makeup, and the simple smokey eyeliner look makes his red irises pop. He’s decided to forgo his glasses, presumably opting for contacts instead to show off the makeup. He’s also swapped out his standard silver hoops for little daggers with a red rhinestone glimmering at the hilt. 

He looks up at you the moment you lay eyes on him, or more specifically, the moment your heart starts to beat out of your chest. He flashes you a devastating smile before striding up to you and pulling you into a deep kiss. You can’t even be bothered to care that the other patrons are probably staring as he slides his hand onto your bare lower back, his cool touch sending a shiver up your spine.

He pulls away from you just enough to breathlessly ask, “Are you ready to sit down?”

“Huh?” You’re distracted, too busy plotting a mental path to the bathrooms to fuck him. He lets out a winded chuckle.

“The play. House is open, would you care to find our seats?” His palm is still pressed against your back and you can barely form coherent thoughts. You still don’t even know what play you’re here to see. You just want—no, need—to be near him.

“Um, yeah,” you respond, still trying to get your bearings and remind yourself how to be a person. You let him lead you into the theater, and only once you're in your seats do you realize that neither of you grabbed a program. You pull out your phone to see if you can look it up, but service in the Rosewood is notoriously bad. Instead you just need to sit still next to Astarion, who looks like a dream and smells even better. 

He glances at you as your heart quickens again and his lips curl into a smile. He slips his hand behind your neck and lightly runs his finger along the seam between the golden collar of the dress and your flesh, sending goosebumps down your arms. He leans toward you until his lips are almost brushing your ear. 

“You look absolutely ravishing, my dear,” he whispers, his breath tickling your earlobe. You turn your face toward him on instinct, your chest heaving as you try to steady your breathing. Your lips hover inches apart, anticipating the kiss, when suddenly a throng of noisy actors come barreling down the aisles. You snap away from Astarion as the cacophony of their shrieks of laughter, calls across the audience to one another, and drunken banter fill the house.

One of them clambors onto the stage and shouts, “For God’s sake, a pot of small ale!” He’s dressed in rags and appears by far to be the drunkest of them all. Three servingmen swarm him with various shouts of, “Will’t please your honor?” He shoves them all away and proudly takes up space center stage.

“I am Christophero Sly! Call not me ‘Honor’ nor ‘Lordship,’” he bellows as the rest of the players make their way onto the stage.

Christopher Sly… you’re wracking your brain to remember which play he serves as a framing device for. Most productions cut this scene because it’s long and completely irrelevant. You just can’t for the life of you remember which play he appears in.

The scene continues with their drunken antics and slapstick comedy as the players address Sly as “my noble lord,” making him believe he’s a king that they’re about to perform for. Eventually they carry Sly out on a makeshift palanquin as the “play within the play” begins. Two handsome young men in preppy clothes enter, holding a book and wearing glasses that aren’t too dissimilar from Astarion’s round metal ones. The one without the glasses speaks first.

“Tranio, since for the great desire I had to see fair Padua…”

Tranio? Isn’t he one of the characters in Taming of the Shrew?

He knows you don’t like this play.

Well, if it’s all that’s playing at the Rosewood right now…

But if that’s the case why not just, like, see a movie?

You shift uncomfortably in your dress and cast your gaze towards Astarion. He smiles, taking your fingers and placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles before turning back to the stage. He keeps your hand in his, absentmindedly stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. 

You can feel your heart pounding in your ears and you find yourself wondering what’s running through his head. Just when you think you have him figured out, he does something to surprise you. And honestly, not always in a good way.

Maybe it won’t be so bad. You know the creative team at the Rosewood wouldn’t pick this show if they weren’t going to try to do something with it. 

But even still… is this text even redeemable?

You sit through the entirety of the show cringing as the audience around you laughs at flagrant displays of domestic abuse. The actors, several of whom you’ve worked with before, are trying their hardest to make the lines playful, but some things just can’t be recovered. Between the forced starvation, physical intimidation, and gaslighting, you wonder why companies even bother performing this play anymore. No matter how witty the writing is, it’s just too out of date to be a good season choice.

When the time comes for Kate’s final monologue, you watch in pain as the actress tries to wink-wink-nudge-nudge her way through lines like “place your hands below your husband’s foot.” She’s young, and you wonder if this is one of her first professional gigs. You get a little sad knowing that she’s probably just desperate to do anything, even if it’s trash.

Maybe you’re being a little harsh. All of the individual elements of the show—the acting, set, costumes, direction, lighting—were quite good. You just can’t get over how irredeemable this text is. Worth teaching, yes, and maybe even taking Act II out of context just for the fun banter and clever wordplay. But professional theatre companies should really just retire this one.

In the Lyft back to your apartment, you decide to get Astarion’s take on the matter.

“Do you think it’s possible to redeem a text like Taming in a modern age?”

He pauses for a moment, continuing to look away from you and out the window.

“I do, yes,” he finally answers. “I think it takes a skilled hand, but it can be successful when done well.”

You sit on his response, chewing it over. You decide to take a different route.

“I guess a better question is do you think it’s worth trying to? Like, what are we getting out of it anymore?”

“Is entertainment not enough?” he says with a laugh. You wrinkle your nose at him.

“Sure, if you’re a basic ass bitch. But I want my art to mean something. And I can’t think of what this play can possibly mean if it’s not ‘shrill women are annoying and should learn their place.’” You cross and uncross your legs, trying to keep yourself decent.

“Last I checked, you enjoy being put in your place,” he says in a low hum and your pussy betrays you with a clench. 

“Shut up,” you grumble, and you’re grateful that the dark car hides your reddening cheeks. “It’s different.”

“Is it, though? Ultimately it is a text about two dysfunctional people finding comfort in one another.” His sincerity catches you off guard, and almost makes you angry that he’s been taken in by the propaganda.

“That’s only a valid interpretation if you ignore half of what happens in the play. They’re not equally dysfunctional, Kate literally gets beaten into submission and pretends to be happy about it. Petruchio is exactly the same from the start to the finish, he has no fucking character arc.” Your hands start to shake as you try to keep your cool. You’ve had this conversation far too many times with men who think they can interpret out the sexism by simply glossing over Kate’s abuse.

The Lyft stops in front of your building and you thank the driver as you get out. Astarion follows you, and you’re not even sure if you want him to accompany you upstairs. But you remain silent as you walk past Withers and into the elevator.

“You’re overreacting,” Astarion says once the elevator doors close. “People are drawn to this play for a reason. The text is excellent, and no one truly thinks of Petruchio as an abuser.”

“Are you joking?” Your voice gets shrill and the similarity to Kate isn’t lost on you. “The whole thing normalizes his abuse. The fact that people don’t think of him as an abuser is the problem.”

“It’s a slapstick comedy,” he snaps, his voice growing stern. “Are you going to tell me that we need to cancel the Three Stooges because it promotes violence?”

“Don’t be fucking condescending,” you spit. “It’s not the same and you know it.”

“How is it not the same? Suddenly because it’s a woman in the role it no longer counts? Are you implying that women should be barred from certain types of performance because of their gender?” He walks past you into your apartment and you throw your keys and bag on the counter, not even bothering to see where they land.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying, now you’re just twisting my words,” you grumble, more frustrated than ever by your inability to match his eloquence.

“So use your own words,” he sneers, whirling around to face you. “How is it not the same?”

“It’s because- well, I- It’s different, just- argh!” Your head is clouded by your attraction to him, which has annoyingly only grown over the past few minutes of shouting. You’re suddenly reminded of the smug arrogant bastard that you first met. He lets out a jeering laugh.

“See? You can’t even defend your own point.” 

His sardonic cruelty sets something off in you and you angrily grab the lapel of his green suit. Your intentions are a complete mystery even to you, because as soon as you’re within inches of one another, instincts take over. You crush his lips into yours and pull him backwards until you thump against the door behind you. He paws hungrily at the dress, sliding his hand under the slit and around to grab your bare ass. You gasp into his touch, feeling equally frustrated and aroused that he even controlled what you wore tonight.

Your fingers make their way into his hair and you pull hard, breaking the kiss and leaving his mouth open, panting. His eyes are sparkling with a fire that you haven’t seen yet and a low growl manifests in your throat. He smirks and buries his teeth into your shoulder, something he usually asks bespoke permission for. You cry out in response, twisting your hands tighter into his silvery locks.

He unlatches from your shoulder and pushes his knee past the front of your skirt and up onto your bare cunt. You grind wantonly against the velvet as he kisses you with bloody lips. He grabs hold of the delicate chains of the dress and yanks, detaching them from the collar and making the entire bodice crumple and pool around your waist. Your nipples immediately harden at the sudden exposure to cold air and he pinches one sharply between his fingers. Your hips roll into his leg as you groan, fully ruining his pants. He continues to bite around your neck and shoulders, placing little puncture wounds in his path, marking you as his.

You grab onto his tie and push him away so you can shimmy out of the rest of the dress. You’re now down to just the gold collar of the dress and your heels, a look you wish you could hate but don’t. You pull him across your living area and toward your bedroom, shoving him down onto the edge of the bed. 

“Thou hast hit it, come, sit on me,” he says, quoting Petruchio with a sinister grin. Kate’s retort falls out of your mouth reflexively.

“Asses are made to bear, and so are you,” you hiss as you straddle his hips, wrapping his tie around your hand until you’ve gripped it up to the knot. Your other hand violently unbuckles his belt, yanking it through the loops with a snap.

“Women are made to bear, and so are you,” he says with a caustic laugh, digging his nails into your ass cheeks. You tug sharply on his tie, bringing his lips close to yours.

“No such jade as you, if me you mean,” you snarl and silence him with an angry kiss. You don’t want to encourage his idiotic behavior, but you’d be lying to yourself if you said this wasn’t a fantasy you’ve had before. You fumble with the buttons of his suit jacket, trying to get him undressed as quickly as possible. You’re not sure if you feel more vulnerable or more powerful being undressed while he’s still fully clothed, but either way you want him naked, now. You get about three buttons into his shirt before you grow impatient, ripping it the rest of the way open and sending buttons flying. 

Good. Let him need to repair his clothes for once.

You push him flat onto his back and descend onto his chest, alternating kisses, licks, and bites. Your dull human teeth don’t have nearly the same effect as his fangs, but it just means you get to bite twice as hard in order to leave a mark. He writhes beneath your touch, and you feel a twisted satisfaction at the quiet little grunts and gasps you’re finally pulling from him. He’s rarely this vocal during sex, and it’s only serving to spur you on more.

His groans build until you capture his nipple in your teeth and bite down, causing him to shout and buck his hips up into you. In a flash he flips you around onto your back and he bears down on you, eyes dangerous. 

“Little love, do you think you’re in control?” he asks in a low growl, his hand gripped around your jaw. You sneer and slide your leg against the strained bulge in his pants. He hisses and your smile widens.

“Right now? Yes,” you coo, continuing to press your calf against his velvet-covered cock. You grab the tie still hanging around his neck and pull him close. 

“If you want it back, fucking take it.”

If I put my hands around your wrists, would you fight them?

He kisses you roughly, catching your bottom lip in his teeth biting hard enough to puncture the skin. He pulls back slightly, a drop of your blood running down his chin and a snide grin. He makes like he’s about to kiss you again but shoves your face away before your lips make contact.

This is the worst you’ve ever seen him—the most arrogant, the most condescending, borderline cruel even. And you have never been more turned on.

If I put my fingers in your mouth, would you bite them?

“Is that all you’ve got?” you taunt, licking the blood from your lips. “Go ahead, choke me, daddy.”

The feminist in you is horrified, but the little gremlin controlling your libido is having the time of its life. It squeals with delight when his hand closes around your throat, just barely constricting your breathing. 

“You insolent little brat,” he breathes into your ear, pulling up on your jaw. “I will absolutely ruin you.”

And there will be no tenderness, no tenderness.

“Do it, coward,” you spit, and he lets go just long enough to finish undressing from the waist down. He grabs your still heeled ankle and presses your leg up by your shoulder, stretching you wide enough to take him without any prep. You gasp as he fills you, the stinging pain outweighed by the gratification of finally feeling him inside you.

The only thing that I ask, love me mercilessly.

He sets a punishing rhythm, one knee on the bed and the other foot still firmly planted on the floor. He bottoms out with each long thrust and you grab hold of his hair to brace yourself. He winces with the pain but doesn’t slow down, and your moans grow high and loud as he continues to furiously pound into you. 

“Gods, fuck, Astarion,” you keen, your desire coiling in your belly and threatening to explode. “Keep going, daddy, fuck me please.” He grunts with the effort and your dirty talk seems to be having an effect as his pace falters. You jerk your hips up into him, chasing your orgasm, until finally it barrels through you like a runaway train. You pull on his hair as you come and that sets off his, his pulsing cock pressing against the clenching walls of your cunt. 

He stays deep inside you as the aftershocks reverberate through both of you, until the only sound remaining is your heavy panting. He drops his forehead to touch yours, a pleasantly tender moment after some of the roughest sex you can recall having. He starts to giggle and you follow suit, suddenly giddy. He pulls out of you with a squelch and walks to the bathroom to get a towel to clean up the mess you’ve left behind. He wipes you down gently, a surprising bit of aftercare you’re not accustomed to with him. He plants a tender kiss on your lips and you feel dizzy with affection for him.

You settle up against the headboard of your bed, his arm around you and both of you looking at your phones in a companionable silence. After a moment, he lets out a small chuckle. 

“What?” you ask, turning your head towards him quizzically.

“I’m just shocked that worked, is all,” he laughs, shaking his head. Your confusion grows and you furrow your brow.

“What worked?” you laugh with him, but something doesn’t feel right.

“The whole night, taking you to see Taming, getting into just enough of a fight to result in,” he vaguely waves his hand, gesturing to the edge of the bed, “all of that.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean?” You pull away from him and your stomach drops. Surely he can’t be suggesting what you think he’s suggesting.

“You get riled up so easily, I thought this might be fun.” He still doesn’t seem to have picked up on your heart pounding in your ears, which is frankly unusual for him.

“Are you saying… Wait, are you saying that you planned that fight? So, what, we’d have angry sex?”

“Of course, you don’t think I actually believe anything that I said, do you? Taming of the Shrew might be well-written, but it’s a rubbish play to produce.” He finally turns to you and sees that you’ve gone white as a sheet. “Oh, darling, don’t take it like that, you’re positively adorable when you’re angry, I couldn’t resist.” He tries putting his hand to your cheek but you flinch away like he’s burned you.

“Get out,” you say in a low voice, unable to even look at him.

“What?” He’s still laughing. He doesn’t get it. “My sweet, didn’t you-”

“GET. OUT.” Your voice has a venom in it that even shocks you. He stares at you in horror until you shoot him an icy glare. “Now.”

Without a word he stands and quickly puts his clothes back on. You stay in your bed, naked and curled under a sheet, until you hear the front door of your apartment slam. With shaking hands, you call Shadowheart.

“Moonmaiden’s delight, did you enjoy yourself? It certainly sounded like you did.” The sound of Shadowheart’s bubbly laugh usually makes you smile, but right now it seeps into your skin like poison.

“Shade, please come over,” you whimper, and the second the words leave your mouth, the tears begin to fall. You don’t hear her hang up, but you do hear a muffled, “I’m going to fucking kill him!” through the wall. You pull your knees further into your chest and sob.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Some canine poetry that made me think of you and König :)

“I love like a rotten dog, something not worth loving back. I know I can be cruel. I’ll learn to love the muzzle.”

“The hand that feeds deserves to be bitten when it beats.”

“Kick me all you want, I’ll forgive you in the morning.”

“I have always known i am the type of dog to be put down — fur too matted, teeth too sharp from eating trash-thrown bones.”

Idk canine poetry just does it for me. The thought that König loves like a dog, that he bares his teeth to the world (but not her, never her), he’ll sleep at the foot of the bed if it means he’ll be closer to her, he roams like a mutt with his snout on the ground, hunting for scraps, wagging his tail at the slightest affection. His love is like wilted flowers and rotten fruit. He loves like a dog and takes what he is given.

Bawling actually because these are so good and so precious and so so accurate! 💔❤️💔

The sad thing is, reader is only beginning to realise that König is not only a crazy bloodhound on the loose but also a stray who develops separation anxiety the moment he gets petted and fed instead of yelled at and kicked straight in the ribs. He may not be one of those dogs who completely lose it and piss themselves from joy when they see their human but he’s totally the dog who rears up on their hind legs and tries to lick your face even though you tell him for the hundredth time to get down and behave. His tail keeps wagging furiously and his eyes stare at you with manic, possessive affection, and he just . won’t . listen .

Give him any kind of half-assed praise and he’ll look at you like you’re a god; say that he’s a good boy and he’ll jump on you again, causing you to tumble down on the floor. That’s when he thinks it’s playtime because you just fell on your back and showed your belly, yeah baby! Time to lick your face again, and if you happen to grimace or laugh or smile and show your teeth he’ll growl and whine from excitement and curiosity and then you basically have to tear him off you by his collar and it’s kind of challenging to do that because this doggo weighs about 250 pounds and is fully determined to show you how much he loves you.

He looks at you like you’re the only thing in this world that matters, the only thing worth fighting for (to the death may I add), when all you did was climb into your cozy little bed and pat it softly to show him that he’s welcome to smother you with his weight join you. He’s like Can I? Can I? Can I truly? Yes, yes, yes, uh-huh, I promise I won’t rip the sheets apart from excitement I promise I won’t bite you and drool all over you I promise I won’t try to mate with you the minute you fall asleep, I know you don’t like that, yes, I’ll behave, I promise. Ok maybe just one little lick please let me have just one lick where it smells good---

…Next thing you know he’s dry humping your leg and panting & whining above you in heat at 2 AM because he just somehow forgot what he was NOT supposed to do. You curse yourself for ever feeding this tortured mutt because what’s even worse is that you notice he has started to mark his territory again, simply because you had to leave him home alone for a few hours that day and he apparently got upset.

[httpiastri]

more than enough – jmm21

you hate your birthday, but pepe is determined to change your mind.

genre: fluff/a little angsty/comfort

pairing: reader x college!pepe marti, ft christian mansell and sebastian montoya

warnings: uhhh anxiety and such ?? idk

word count: 2.6k

author's note: just like last year, this is merely a very self-indulgent birthday gift to myself (and a bit of a late birthday gift for a friend on here who confided in me about not liking their birthday either), so sorry if you don't relate but i needed to write this for myself despite how painful it was. not happy with how it turned out but, i had to get it out of my system. <3 (also not proofread because i will freak out likely aaaaa)

this is mostly a standalone fic but ig it kinda works as college!pepe so i put that there. i got this idea at my mom's birthday back in march but never actually wrote it until this last week... also loosely based on a tiktok that really spoke to me.

also! this doesn't really work with the headcanon of pepe, seb and chris all sharing an apartment, but i wanted it this way. i also wasn't comfortable including gaby or hermes, so i used the names nora and emma for seb's and chris's respective gfs. :)

"why didn't you tell me your birthday is next week?"

the question is innocent enough, only borderline accusing, but something tightens in your stomach nonetheless. you don't look up from the pot in your hand, however, instead continuing to scrub it with your dishbrush like it's no big deal. "who told you that?"

pepe chuckles as he makes his way over to your side, leaning against the counter as he looks at you. "emma," he tells you, crossing his arms over his chest. "going to answer my question now?"

"i must've forgotten to tell you."

"oh, come on..." your boyfriend shakes his head. "is there a reason i wasn't allowed to know? did i do something? do you not trust me? am i-"

"pepe," you say, his name followed by a sigh as you look over to him in hopes of stopping his rambling. "it's nothing personal."

"what is it, then?" he presses, eyes following your hands as they begin to rinse the pot he'd cooked your pasta in just a couple hours ago. "why don't you want to tell me?"

you take a deep breath, shrugging your shoulders before turning off the tap. "i just... i'm not a big fan of my birthday."

the biggest understatement of the year.

you hate your birthday.

for a number of reasons, really. some to do with your family and childhood; many to do with your own inner thoughts and feelings.

you hate how it reminds you of every bad birthday you had as a kid. you hate how it makes you hopeful that people will remember and congratulate you, because you hate how painful it is when they don't. you hate how you always get reminded of how little people seem to care, and how they always prioritize themselves even on what's supposed to be your day.

it's too much of a mess to explain to him right now – maybe, hopefully, one day you'll have the energy and courage to go through it all.

you hadn't forgotten to tell pepe; you had just been silently hoping he wouldn't address it, and that everyone else would forget, too. but apparently, you have a snitch in your friend group. "what do you mean?" pepe asks.

"i'd much rather not celebrate it." you place the pot on the drying rack, wiping your hands on your towel hanging by the stove before turning to him. "a lot of stuff regarding my birthday just makes me really upset. if i could, i'd just... make it disappear, honestly."

your eyes flicker to the floor, fingers nervously fiddling with the sleeve of your shirt. he can tell you don't want to get into it, and he won't push you. instead, he opens his arms wide, taking a step forward. you accept the offer instantly, arms wrapping around his waist as he pulls you close.

the air in your little dorm room isn't as thick as you had expected it to be when telling him all of this – but at the same time, you aren't surprised. pepe has always had a way of grounding you, making everything seem a bit easier. "i can't make it completely disappear, i think," he says, placing his chin on top of your head. "but i can pretend for you."

you hum contently, letting your eyes close for a few moments. "that would be great."

he remains quiet for a couple of seconds, but then he can't stop himself from talking again. "do you really not want anything? no party? you threw me that party for my birthday, i'd feel guilty not doing anything back."

"i did it because you had a fun time and you like those things, and because i enjoyed planning it. but i was really hoping i could skip all that," you answer, pulling away ever so slightly to look up at him with a sheepish expression. "i would honestly rather have dinner with you, emma, nora, sebas, chris... maybe get some takeout from that new indian place down the road?"

to pepe's ears, you sound more than just a tiny bit crazy – but your being so different from him is one of the things that attracted him in the first place. he nods, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. "whatever you say, love."

"where did your girl go?" emma asks the second pepe slumps into a free seat by the cafeteria table.

your boyfriend shoots a glance over his shoulder back to the serving line before setting his plate down. "they were out of rice so she's just waiting for a new batch," he says with a shrug.

"okay then, let's be quick before she gets here," emma speaks up again. "what are we doing for her birthday? it's just a few days away, but i think we can pull something off."

"me and seb were talking about throwing her a surprise party," nora says, looking over at sebastian who's nodding excitedly.

pepe, however, lets out a dismissive sound and swats the air with his hand. "no, forget about that," he says, stuffing a spoonful of pasta into his mouth. "she doesn't want any of that."

nora snorts. "what? of course she does."

"you know, pepe," emma counters, eyebrows raised at the spaniard. "every girl will tell you that she doesn't want a surprise party. don't bother, i don't care, you don't have to do all that for me! but in reality, we're all secretly craving it."

pepe considers her words for a few moments; maybe there is some truth in them after all. maybe all you did was try to act modest, to put the idea in his head so he would make the right choice.

but you weren't the one to bring up the subject – he was. he remembers clearly how you were doing your very best to avoid talking about your birthday at all, and the memory of how tough of a subject it seemed like to you is still etched into his mind. he thinks you were so brave to confide in him like that, and so he needs to stand up for you. he can't dishonor your trust.

"trust me, guys. she really doesn't want it." he ignores the groans of the people around him, taking a few sips of his water before continuing. "can't we all just grab some dinner on saturday instead? maybe that new indian place?"

"works for me," christian joins in. "how about presents, then?"

"right, are we all buying something together, or separate gifts?" emma fills in.

pepe shakes his head yet again. "i don't think she wants that, either." his words are followed by a long silence, which makes him unable to hold back a chuckle. "just paying for the food should be enough."

nora sighs dramatically, the palms of her hands pressing into the sides of her face. "and i'm supposed to just trust you, huh?" she asks and pepe merely shrugs, focusing back on his food. "hope you're not messing with us here, marti."

"i have no idea what he said, but he usually is," your voice spreads through the group as you finally take a seat at the table. "fill me in and i'll help you decide if he's just being annoying."

"i was just telling them about what mr. peterson said yesterday," pepe says quickly. "about what he'll do to everyone who fails the exam."

you throw your head back laughing, nodding instantly. "oh my god, that was hilarious. so, it started with someone on the front row asking about..."

pepe loves birthdays. his own, too, but mostly he finds himself looking forward to his friends' birthdays and longing to celebrate the important people in his life. he loves picking out gifts, planning celebrations, and making sure everything is perfect. it just comes naturally for him to be caring and detailed in that way.

but while pepe eagerly awaits your birthday, you couldn't even come close to feeling the same way.

most years, you spend the weeks leading up to your birthday dreading it, and the day of your birthday crying, because your birthday reminds you of everything you try to forget year-round.

pepe wants to make the day perfect for you, but he also obviously doesn't want to do too much. it's a hard task, but he's set on making it work – and the first step is getting a cake.

his first thought was to get you something huge, something to properly convey what he thinks you deserve and how much he loves you. though, it didn't take long for him to realize that something like that would be way too much for you. instead, he settled on a more basic yellow cake with some kind of white coating that the lady in the bakery recommended to him, and dropped by the grocery store near campus to buy sprinkles and a bunch of candles.

the end product is a little messy, but created with so much love, and pepe knows you're going to adore it. what he doesn't know is how he managed to keep you away from his refrigerator and the surprise hiding in it all night yesterday, but it doesn't matter – all that matters is that you're currently still sleeping soundlessly in his bed, with no clue of what's going on over in the kitchen.

pepe's hands are trembling slightly as he lights up the candles; he is a little nervous, he will admit, but he's also excited at the same time. he can't wait to see the look of surprise on your face, so he hurries up and places the cake on a tray along with two cups of coffee.

he silently curses at the way his bedroom door creaks when he pushes it open with his foot, but thankfully you don't move a single muscle. he carefully scoots over to the side of the bed, sitting down next to you and balancing the tray in his lap. he reaches over with one hand to your cheek, thumb tracing along your skin, fingers settling under your jaw. "mi amor," he whispers, a soft hum leaving his lips as he watches your eyelids slowly flutter open. "happy birthday."

it takes a few moments for your eyes to adjust to the sunshine lighting up the room, but when they do, they can't help but focus on him. the goofy grin on his lips, the messy hair, the-

the cake on his lap.

you push yourself up to sit in bed, rubbing some sleep out of your eyes. you're mistaken, surely? you're still half-asleep, you must've imagined it...

but no amount of blinking makes the cake disappear. the little flames of the candles swaying in the air, the single drop of stearic rolling down the side of a candle, the rainbow sprinkles sticking to the top and sides of the cake – it's all very real.

pepe was so sure this was the right way to go. but seeing the tears begin to seep out of the corners of his eyes makes him horrified. he messed up.

he knew the sprinkles would be too much. and that amount of candles, what was he thinking? he definitely went overboard.

"oh my god," he says, instantly placing the tray on the bedside table before scooting closer to you. "i'm so so so sorry, i thought you would like it... i don't know what i was thinking. here, let me-"

you shake your head as he begins brushing away your tears with his thumbs, and to his big surprise, you chuckle. "don't be sorry," you say, letting out another laugh when you see the confused expression on his face. "i do like it. a lot." you reach up to take his hands in yours, bringing them down to the bed and intertwining your fingers. "it's just... very emotional, for me. as you can see."

he also chuckles now, and he thinks he understands – even though seeing your happy tears is more painful than he'd expected. "okay," he says with a nod. "so..." his eyes flicker back to the cake.

"yes, please. i mean, what could be better than a sugar rush first thing in the morning?"

pepe would've been so happy to shower you with presents to express how much he loves you; it would've made him so proud to invite all your friends to a big celebration, to show you how much you mean to all of them, to change your idea of a birthday. but this – sitting together in bed, eating straight from the cake (no plates needed), pressing sugary kisses to each other's cheeks – is another form of perfect.

he just hopes you think it's perfect, too.

hearing you tell the stories of how you needed to bake the cake for yourself if you wanted one as a child, how you always made sure to buy yourself a gift because the risk that no one else would get you one was too high, and how you always needed to plan out your own parties breaks his heart – but hearing you open up like that also means the world to him. he understands that it's all buried so deep inside of you, but there's nothing he wants more than to help you heal and to prove that you can have much better and bigger birthdays than that.

but for now, a little cake in bed and a ton of kisses will have to do.

baby steps.

"chris, will you pass me the chicken korma?"

he leans over the crowded couch table and holds out the takeaway box to nora, who takes it into her hands and thanks him. "that one is really good," you tell her through your mouthful of bread, nodding to your friend.

"what's the verdict, then?" sebastian asks from his seat over on the couch. "i need a rating from the birthday girl, one to ten."

"food? ten," you say, taking a sip of your soda. "company? ten."

birthday? eleven.

the whole day has been much better than you'd expected; from your wake-up this morning, to the lunch date you shared with pepe over in town after a cute walk along the river, to having your closest friends all gathered in your living room for you. you don't even mind the way your buttcheeks are already starting to hurt after sitting on the floor for too long – you knew you should've invested in more seating for moments like these – because all of this is worth it.

"agreed," pepe chimes in from next to you. "especially about the food."

"speaking of which," says emma. "was there any bread left?"

you're quick to jump to your feet, already turning towards the kitchen. "garlic or plain?"

"ooh, garlic! thank you!"

pepe hurries off the floor right after you, making up some excuse about getting a new spoon for one of the sauces, but no one even bats an eye. you hear him enter through the door, and you smile instinctively. "how are you feeling?" he asks when he reaches your side, hand finding the small of your back as you rummage through the takeaway bag. "is this all enough?"

"it's more than enough. so much more." after pulling out the garlic naan from the bag, you reach up to the side of his face with your free hand, brushing your thumb over his cheekbone. "best birthday ever."

you seal your words with a feather-light kiss to his lips, and he's still smiling when you pull away. "you promise?" he asks, eyes searching through yours for any slightest hint of insincerity or uncertainty.

"i promise." another kiss, followed by a gentle hum, and he visibly relaxes. "thank you."

"no, thank you." for opening up, for letting him do all this for you. for existing. "only happy birthdays from now on, okay? i will make sure of it."

"it could never be anything other than a happy birthday with you around."

[comradeghosty]

Letting You Off Easy (NSFW)

NSFW Sabo x reader fic

Summary: Sabo promised you that he would come to bed, but he got caught up reading again. He makes it up to you.

Tags: nsfw, established relationship, soft dom Sabo, bdsm themes, vaginal sex, oral sex, fingering, dirty talk, humiliation, edging

!!! 18+ !!!

I also posted it on AO3

Sabo was supposed to have met you in bed by now. He promised, I’ll be there before 10 tonight, but as usual, he was caught up in whatever book he was reading. As you lay there in the bed, you stared up at the ceiling. You considered waiting, maybe going to sleep till he got there, but you were impatient and Sabo had promised.

Throwing the sheets off, you got out of bed and crept down the hallway to Sabo’s study. This was his room, the one place in the house that was off limits to you. When he was in there, he was working and required no distractions. Fingers tapped your chin as you weighed the risks. On one hand, if you interrupted his work, he would probably be upset with you. An upset Sabo hurt your heart; when his sweet smile disappeared from his face, it made you ache. However, you needed to go to bed, and he had promised. He couldn’t be too upset if he had promised, right? 

Slowly, your hand reached towards the doorknob as you made your decision. The glass knob was heavy in your hand as you turned it, and you briefly wondered if you had made a mistake as you pushed the door open.

Inside the room was a candlelit masterpiece. For some reason, Sabo loved feeling archaic as he worked, seeing his work by fire in the evenings and at night. Many times you had complained to him that he would hurt his vision, but he reassured you that it was fine. The room was well furnished, dark wooden bookshelves lined the walls, filled to the brim with books both old and new. A large globe adorned one corner of the room and the walls not occupied by bookshelves were filled with maps and art. His desk sat against a wall, covered in papers that he had yet to grade and lit candles that had wax which dripped down the stem of their holders. In the opposite corner of the room sat a small, dark loveseat that Sabo liked to sit on when he read. This is where he currently resided, a book propped in his hand. 

Sabo looked at you with an unreadable expression. His dark eyes pierced through you, sending a shiver down your spine. This is the second time you wondered if this intrusion was a mistake. He leaned the book down on his lap, which you eyed with a small blush. He was still in his work clothes, a cream colored button down that was rolled up to the elbows and dark linen pants.

You were snapped out of your thoughts as the blonde cleared his throat. Anxiety panged through your stomach. He sat his book on the table next to him. A blush dusted your cheeks as you watched his hand come up to take the thin rimmed glasses from his face. He folded those and placed them on top of the book.

“Come sit,” he said, simply patting his lap. You shivered at the evenness in his voice. Nothing good ever comes after Sabo uses that tone.

Slowly, you walked over, like a dog who knew it did something bad, hesitating in order to delay whatever punishment awaited you. For a moment, you just stood there in front of him until he patted his lap again. Reluctantly, you sat down sideways on his lap. Sabo put one arm around your waist, anchoring you to him, and you swallowed thickly. 

“Am I in trouble?” you asked. Your voice was quiet and shaking a bit when you spoke. It embarrassed you, and you could feel yourself redden. Sabo’s eyes softened a bit, which set off alarm bells in your head. God, you fucked up by coming in here.

Sabo doesn’t answer and just chuckles darkly. “Trouble? Mm, did you break a rule?”

Of course, he wanted you to acknowledge that you knew you were doing something you weren't supposed to. “I… came into your study, sir. I’m sorry,” you muttered. The words came easy to you, casually slipping into a state of mind that only Sabo could pull from your bones. So easily did he comfort you, his kind face and soft smile easing your mind and relaxing your boundaries. 

“That’s it, I was worried that you had forgotten. That doesn’t seem to be the case, though. You just wanted to be disobedient.” Sabo tutted at you, mumbling out, “just what am I going to do with you?” He went quiet for a moment, thinking.

Suddenly, he turned you in his lap so you faced away from him, your knees falling over his legs. A large hand gently placed itself on your throat, not squeezing but making you aware of its presence, and another found its place on your waist. Sabo spread his knees apart, widening your thighs. You felt exposed as he held you to his chest, your nightgown slipping down your thighs to bunch around your hips. A shiver wracked your body as the cool air danced across the skin of your thighs.

“So needy, my dear. Couldn't wait for me in bed like a good girl? Do you need me to teach you some patience, sweetheart?” he crooned, his tone patronizing. There was something in the way he talked down to you that made you whine. 

His hand moved across your throat, gripping the nape of your neck and gently tugging at the hair, turning you to crane your neck towards him. “Hm? Sorry, I can’t hear you. Speak up.”

You pouted at him, your lips pursed in a small frown. He knew you didn’t say anything. When you spoke, your voice came out mumbly and grouchy. “You promised you’d be in bed and then you didn’t come,” you whined, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Promise? Oh, I did promise. I’m sorry, sunshine,” he stroked your hair gently, brushing it out of your face as he looked at you. You couldn’t be too mad at him, after all you knew how engrossed he became while reading. His onyx eyes were sincere and a small pout graced his lips briefly before turning into a gentle smile. “In that case, let me make it up to you. You still entered my study without permission, so you have to be punished, but I promise to make you feel good afterward.” A large hand cupped your jaw firmly, thumb brushing over your lips. Sabo leaned forward and kissed your cheek gently.

Slowly, you felt his hands sliding down your sides, briefly resting on your hips before traveling to your thighs. The soft palms skated along the outside of your thighs, all the way to your knees before slowly moving to the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. Sabo started gently, caressing your legs before pinching roughly. A whine escaped your lips at the sudden rough sensation, your head lolling back against his broad chest. He took his time, pinching and squeezing his way to the apex of your thighs. You knew it would leave marks, Sabo always made sure to leave marks. His large hands skirted around your panties, not quite touching but making sure you knew he was right there. 

“You want me to touch you, angel? C’mon, you can tell me. Don't be shy,” he cooed lowly in your ear. A shiver ran down your spine, straight to your cunt. Your body relaxed at his voice, and Sabo was quick to notice. You missed the devious smile that graced his face, right before his hand came down in a harsh slap against your inner thigh. 

A cry left your lips at the impact, and you felt your arousal build. “I said, open your mouth and beg for my touch,” Sabo growled into your ear. He wasn’t playing around anymore, and you knew it.

“Ah, I’m sorry, sir. Please touch me, please let me feel you,” your eyes squeezed closed as you begged him, your hands clenching at your sides. 

Fingers slowly edged around your panties as he complied with your pleas, his tongue darting out to lick the spot where your neck met your shoulder. “You sound so pretty when you beg,” he breathed. There were suddenly too many sensations as you felt Sabo’s wet tongue on your neck, his fingers prodding at your clothed cunt, and his other hand coming back to rest on your throat, holding you against his chest.

Whimpering out, your hands came up to hold his arm where it rested across your chest. “S- Sabo… please…”

“Please what, angel? Say what you want.” 

Your face burned, embarrassment shooting through your core as you realized he was going to make you say it.

 “P- please touch me… under… ah… my panties…” God, it was so humiliating. You felt your cunt clench around nothing as he put his hand under the cloth and just… held it there, unmoving. Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes, frustration tight in your body.

“Like that? Doesn’t seem very exciting to me,” Sabo chuckled. “You’re usually so mouthy… why so quiet, dirty girl?”

You squirmed on his lap, trying to get friction while avoiding saying anything else. His hand left your panties and another harsh slap landed on your thigh, making you jump. The hand around your throat tightened slightly. “Stop being so greedy and use that mouth. I won’t ask again,” he scolded. Sabo could be so intimidating when he wanted to be. 

“Ah, please! Please put your fingers in my pussy, sir,” you begged, shame burning your face. A tear slid down your cheek as Sabo’s hand reentered your panties, sliding through your wetness. You felt immediate relief at his touch, sighing and leaning back into him. Fingers lazily dragged through your slit as he touched you, and you moaned when his thumb dragged against your clit. Sabo leaned against your neck as he touched you, smirking as you moaned and sighed from his touch.

Briefly, he pinched your clit between his thumb and knuckle, making you cry out in surprise before sinking two fingers into your hole. The stretch was so good, your body willfully accommodating him. “Oh god, Sabo… ‘s so good,” you slurred out.

“Look at you, sucking me in. So greedy, all for me,” he purred. You could feel him sucking dark marks into your neck, letting his possessive nature through. His long fingers pumped in and out of you, your thighs trembling as Sabo kept them spread apart. He moved his hand, his thumb rubbing circles against your clit as his fingers massaged your cunt.

You were a mess, shaking and moaning and whining against him. “S- Sabo… sir… ‘m close…” Breathy pants left your lips as you felt your abdomen coil in pleasure. “P- pleasee, oh god…” And right as that coil was about to snap, you were left empty. Sabo pulled his fingers out of your cunt, and your brows furrowed. You opened your mouth, turning to him to say something before his fingers were shoved roughly into your mouth, tasting of you. His dark eyes looked at you sternly, narrowing slightly.

“Now now… you know you had to be punished, my dear.” His fingers pressed down against your tongue. “Don’t be a brat. I’m letting you off easy since I did break my promise. Say thank you.”

Sabo didn’t move his fingers, and your face burned. This was humiliating, and you attempted to avert your eyes. His thumb pressed up on the soft part of your chin as his fingers pushed down, silently demanding eye contact. You spoke around his fingers, drool dripping down your chin from the corners of your mouth. “Haa, ‘ank ‘oo,” you mumbled around his fingers.

A smile softened his features as he praised you. “That’s my girl. Are you ready for me to make it up to you?”

You nodded your head as much as you could with his fingers still in your mouth, and he kissed your cheek.

“Stand up for me, sweet girl,” he requested, removing his hand. You stood up, standing in front of him, feeling vulnerable. “Take your clothes off, I want to see you.” Slowly, you pulled your nightgown over your head, feeling Sabo’s dark eyes roving over your body. He watched as you exposed yourself, drinking in your body like it was the finest wine. You could see his need, one of his hands palming the bulge in his pants. It made you blush, the ludeness of watching Sabo touch himself as you stripped. The nightgown dropped in a puddle on the floor, your panties joining it shortly after.

Sabo stood up, stepping over to you. His hands ghosted your sides, guiding you to sit on the loveseat where he previously sat. The man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and pants, tossing them aside as you watched. He never broke eye contact with you. You trembled, his dark eyes looking hungrily down at you while he knelt on the hardwood in front of you. His hands rested on each of your thighs, pulling you to the edge of the seat. Soft kisses peppered the inside of your legs, which draped over Sabo’s shoulders. He licked and sucked kisses into your sensitive skin as he moved his way closer to your cunt.

“So good, so sweet. You took your punishment so well, sweetheart,” he mumbled out between kisses. “Let me take care of you now.” 

Sighing, you reclined back as Sabo worshiped your thighs. His gentle kisses and gasps made you shake as he pressed his face against you, breathing you in with a quiet “fuck.” You felt yourself clench around nothing.

You let out a loud moan as Sabo licked a long stripe up your cunt. Like a man starved, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you tightly against his mouth. Your head flew back, eyes squeezed shut as the blonde feasted on you. His tongue lapped against you, tapping quickly against your clit. “Oh fuck, fuck please,” you whined. Both of your hands moved to tangle in his curls, holding him as you gently rutted against his face.

Soft and needy gasps and moans came from between your thighs, and all it did was push you closer to the edge. Sabo was a vocal lover, letting you know that he was enjoying giving as much as you enjoyed receiving. You looked down, just to see his dark eyes on you. The blonde loved watching the way your face contorted with pleasure. Your thighs tightened around his head as you got closer, already sensitive and close from being edged. “Please, please don’t stop,” you begged. All you wanted was for him to keep going, the pressure on your clit perfectly matched with his long and firm licks.

Sabo hummed against your cunt and you snapped, cumming hard with a soft cry of his name. The man didn’t stop, but he slowed a bit to help you ride your way through your orgasm without overstimulating you. He was such a considerate lover. 

“You taste so good,” he mumbled against you, giving you one last lick before kissing his way up your body. Sabo wrapped his hands around your waist, picking you up and swapping positions so you sat on his lap, facing him this time. He kissed you greedily, and you moaned against his mouth, tasting yourself on his tongue. The feeling of your skin on his skin was electric, and you rubbed your exposed cunt against his length. 

The kiss broke when he moaned, his forehead dropping against your shoulder. “You’re so beautiful when you cum,” he whispered into your skin, rocking his hips against yours. “I wanna see that again.” 

One of his hands came down between you two, thumb brushing rhythmically against your clit as you rocked against him. “God, Sabo. Please, please fuck me,” you begged. You never needed anything more than you needed his cock inside you at this moment.

“Such a good girl, so good for me. Whatever you want, angel,” he crooned, running his hands through your hair and tucking it behind your ears. The way he looked into your eyes made your heart clench. His hands readjusted you on his lap as he used one hand to position himself at your entrance. “Keep your eyes on me, I wanna see your face.”

Your face flushed, but you never broke eye contact with him. As you sank down on him, your eyes widened and your mouth dropped slightly with a gasp. “S- Sabo…” He was big, and he let you pause to adjust before settling all the way inside you. You were full, so full that your head clouded. Both of you held eye contact, as if that’s all you could do. His face was so soft, so kind. Your hands came up and cradled his cheeks, thumb brushing over his scar. Both of his arms wrapped around you, holding you against his chest. His hands pressed into your back, his long fingers spreading over your skin.

Sabo leaned forward and kissed you, gently and sweetly, as if you were providing the oxygen he needed to live. He rocked his hips, his cock pressing so deliciously into you. Your nipples rubbed against his chest as you both moved together, wrapped up in each other. The blonde kissed your cheek, moving down to your jaw and your neck. He sucked love bites into your skin, marking you. “You feel so good, so tight. You’re made for me, my love. So perfect,” he praised you so well, mumbling a nonstop stream of compliments into your skin. One of his hands snaked between you, finding your clit and rubbing circles into it. “That’s it, beautiful. Let yourself feel good.”

You watched as he concentrated, feeling his shallow thrusts and the orgasm building back up in your abdomen. “Aah, ‘m so full, Sabo. P- please.” As your eyes met again, your mouths met with some desperate hunger, teeth crashing together. The feelings were so intense, and you felt yourself being slightly lifted by one of Sabo’s arms before he started to thrust up into you in earnest. Gasps and moans escaped your lips, the combination of the quick and full thrusts with the thumb on your clit was too much. You stared into Sabo’s dark eyes as you came harshly and quickly, a smile forming across his face as he watched your climax. He kept fucking you, maintaining his quick pace. Your cunt spasmed around him, coaxing his orgasm from him as well as he spilled into you, pressing his cock as deep into you as it would fit.

Limply, you leaned against Sabo as he shallowly fucked himself through his orgasm, holding himself in you as he recovered. He pressed slow, lazy kisses against your shoulder and neck as you tried to regain your strength. “I love you’s” were mumbled into your skin, peppered there with the kisses. 

You sat there for a while, both of you pressed together. “C’mon, angel. Let’s get cleaned up and go to bed,” Sabo mumbled. He pressed a kiss to your temple, scooping you up in his arms. You pressed yourself against his chest, closing your eyes, and feeling like the luckiest person in the world.

[whaledenwtf]

I'm such a sucker for Gale, and I want some fluff about him, maybe like what happened after or during the wedding, what would it look like? Like what would our man do

I'm such a sucker for Gale too, he's just baby. I'm not too familiar with Act 3 and the new epilogues they added but I'll do my baby justice. I'll be writing this with a female reader, so if you'd like GN! Reader I can try rewriting it.

As always, I try to keep Gale in character as much as possible. If you enjoy this fic, consider sharing it! I have requests open, which you can send here: Link I have a Masterlist for Baldur's Gate 3 works I've written, which also has a list of what I will and won't write here: Link

Gale x AFAB!Reader - Wedding Bells

Warnings: AFAB!Reader, Fluff, Mentions of Anxiety, Self-Deprecation (Poor Gale), Mentions of Mystra (Mystra when I catch you Mystra), Minor Angst if you squint.

WORD COUNT: 869

Gods he was so nervous. He kept pacing back and forth, subconsciously playing with his hands.

"Are you having regrets Mr. Dekarios?" He is snapped out of his reverie by Tara, who's watching him from a distance.

"Regrets? I could never regret my relationship with (Y/N), Tara. I am just... nervous. I don't want her to change her mind, is all." He tells her honestly. Tara struts closer to him, tail swaying behind her.

"I believe you are overthinking, Mr. Dekarios. After all, don't you think she would have changed her mind before the wedding day?" He ponders that for a moment.

"I suppose you may be right, Tara. However, I've come to realize there is no such luck for a fool like me. She may have changed her mind and is running out now-" To emphasize his point, he looks out the window to see if there is a runaway bride. He exhales in relief when he doesn't see you running off. Tara scoffs.

"Are you sure you won't be the one who runs out? Show some self-respect Mr. Dekarios. You are incredibly talented and a good friend. She loves you, in case you had forgotten." Tara sits, her wings twitching.

He looks away from the window, only seeing the wedding party seated in the rows and rows of seats, alongside your companions who were interacting with one another. The door opens, and Gale's mother walks in.

"Oh thank Mystra! My little boy is getting married- I was starting to get worried." Morena wails out, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Gale rolls his eyes.

"Have you so little faith in me, mother?" She huffs, squinting at him.

"You were a recluse, Gale. A mother tends to worry when her son is aging without another by their side. I just want you happy." She tells him. He looks down, feeling guilty for worrying his mother.

"I am sorry-" Morena shakes her head.

"All is in the past now-" She claps her hands. She walks closer, giving him a once over, brushing non-existent dust off his shoulders. "I am very proud of you." She tells him quietly. He grips her in a tight hug, like a child would when they were scared. She caresses his back comfortingly, and he is filled with a sense of calmness. All his previous fears and anxieties dissipate. The door opens again. Morena lets go of Gale, giving him some space.

"Just coming in to check in. Am I disturbing something?" Gale hears your voice. Before he can take a glimpse at you, he turns around, eyes screwed shut.

"It is bad luck to see the bride before the aisle!" He shouts out. All the women giggle at him. You begin walking forward, smiling at Morena and Tara.

"We will leave you two alone. Come, Tara." They leave, closing the door behind them.

"Turn around, sweetheart. Who needs luck or gods, when we have each other?" You tell him, standing behind him. He sighs, turning around, eyes still screwed shut. You chuckle, taking his face in your hand.

"Open your eyes, Gale." He opens one eye, and his jaw drops. You were stunning; probably the most beautiful thing he has ever laid his eyes upon.

"Oh-" He opens both eyes, to look you up and down, multiple times.

"You're beautiful." He whispers, eyes watering. It never felt so real until this moment, seeing you devote yourself to him. You wipe the single tear that leaves his misty eyes. He blinks multiple times, willing himself not to cry.

"You don't look too bad yourself." You tease him, grinning.

"I wanted to check on you, see if you had changed your mind?" He looks into your eyes, seeing your honesty.

"Why would I change my mind?" You shrug.

"We don't need fancy ceremonies or gold rings to show our love to one another. All I need is you by my side." He takes your hand, kissing it.

"I can never regret anything I do if it involves you, my love." You giggle at his words.

"How are you feeling?" You ask him sweetly. He bites his lip.

"I am- was very nervous. For a moment I thought you would want to cancel the wedding." You shake your head.

"I love you, Gale. I'm not going anywhere. The tadpole couldn't keep us apart; nor the Netherese Orb; and definitely not some goddess." You end the sentence bitterly. He chuckles, putting his arms around you, kissing your forehead.

"We can do this, together." He says out loud.

"Together." You whisper, leaning into his neck and kissing him there.

BONUS: You close the door behind you, leaving Gale to his thoughts. You turn to see Astarion and Wyll waiting for you. You jump, holding a hand to your heart as they scared you.

"Gods! Don't sneak up on me like that." They both chuckle.

"Did he cry?" Astarion asks excitedly. You chuckle, nodding.

"HA! Pay up Ravengard." Wyll sighs, handing over a pouch of gold to Astarion.

"I knew that sap would cry. Shouldn't have bet against me." Wyll rolls his eye.

"Alright Astarion." Wyll tells him. You smile at the two, before pulling them away from the door.

[factual-fantasy]

24 asks!! :0000🌟🎭🌟

I HAVE!!! :DDDD

Kinger and Caine are my favorite characters! I've seen a lot of theories and fanart and I've already started making my own AU and angst and everything but I cant DRAW any of that yet because I'm REALLY BUSY with an OVERDUE PROJECT AAAAA

(In recent development, Asgore is unable to heal Spamton because he is a darkener :((( )

I think it might have been addressed at one point yeah :0 Maybe something was wrong with Seam and Asgore reached out to help. In which Seam was terrified and Jevil jumped in to protect him. Asgore could see the trauma and tension in the both of them so he carefully backed off.

Later he could hear from Seam about their pasts and why they were afraid of him. Asgore would then try to take steps to.. not..? Be scary to them?? <:D

Spade king could have talked in a very gravely and booming voice. So Asgore is sure to always talk softly and clearly. He is careful to not make any sudden movements around Seam and Jevil. If he's reaching for something near Seam/Jevil he will gently announce what he's doing and make sure they understand before he does it.

Asgore with his hands in his lap: "Seam, I want to grab that bag.."

Seam: *turns "huh?"

Asgore, hands still in his lap: "That bag beside you, I'd like to grab it."

Seam: "oh, okay,"

Asgore then gently reaches for the bag, making sure that Seam can see his hand coming.

Little things like that would really ease Seam and Jevils nerves. And its what made Asgore so trustworthy to them. The fact that he cared so much about their comfort and went above and beyond to make sure they felt safe around him.

Not really a parental figure. He sees Seam as his equal in every way. So like.. he sees him as his brother of the same age.?

@beryl-shade

Oh he didn't lock Seam up in a cell. He just put shackles around his wrists and neck :00

The thing about Jevil is that the bigger the group got, the worse his habits became. And the harder it became to break those habits.. Jevil was the one who collected these people, so they are his responsibility. Giving up his food not just for Seam, but for everyone. Staying awake to keep the fire large and roaring to keep the group warm.

The others try to help him.. but they would have a hard time getting Jevil to listen to them. Telling him he needs to eat, sleep or just relax. He probably wouldn't listen because he's a bit stubborn and is probably riddled with anxiety 24/7.

Although when Asgore came around things got a lot easier.

Asgore is very powerful and has proved his trustworthiness multiple times to Seam and Jevil. So although the royal vibe is off putting.. Jevil trusts him to watch the fire at night and protect the group. Seam has been able to reason with Jevil about the food part a little too.

Jevil: "You need this food more than me. You gotta keep your strength up until we can find someone to break these chains!"

Seam: "Jevil, you consume energy to make those mirrors to other worlds. How are you supposed to keep looking for someone to break my chains, if you're collapsed on the ground, too weak to make another mirror?"

Jevil: "......."

Jevil: *takes ONE bite out of sandwich

I was thinking around 10 years or so..? Maybe more? Haven't really decided :0 And he was able to escape by making a mirror and stepping through it. That mirror basically poked a hole in the walls of the AU and he was able to step out of the AU. Effectively stepping out of his cell and breaking free :}

Also thank you!! :DD

@gracebeth3604

I've completely ignored comments like this recently because I don't wanna deal with all the drama that will surly follow. But you were really polite and very thorough with your evidence.. sooo I guess I might as well answer it now,

I am aware that people use they/them for Seam. But -> my version <- of Seam goes by he/him.

I don't reeallly have a Splatoon AU..? And I haven't played Splatoon in a while- although I do still like it and have made some Splatoon ocs!

These drawings are pretty old. I've been meaning to come back and re-draw them haha <XD

Yeah its okay to tag like that. Like "seam and jevil" or "mario and luigi". That's just tagging them as being in the same post, no big deal 👍

Also no, no art of any kind. If you truly wanna show that you appreciate my work then leave comments. Maybe reblog once in a while or send me an ask. The comments don't have to be anything complex. You could leave a "Looks great!" comment on 50 posts of mine in a row and I will see what you're doing and appreciate it endlessly.

@genericcereal-wastaken

(I most likely will lol XD) Also thank you! I'm glad you love it! :DD

@elegysonnet

Honestly I can see Seam wanting nothing wrapped around/touching his wrists for a while.. even though they need it. But he could accept cold rags being dabbed on the wounds to ease the stinging.

As for what he'd eat? Dude- anything XDD Probably a burger to start. He'd just take a big fat bite and cry about how good it tastes 😭

And yeah! Now that he has his full range of movement he has his cat like flexibility back :}}

When it comes to Seam using his magic? Its hard for a while...

He hasn't used it consistently in so long.. he would be rusty, and probably anxious to use it again. It would take a lot of sparing and gentle guidance from Jevil and probably Asgore to get his grove back.

It would also take time for him to physically heal. Having his body's energy constantly drained has really effected his ability to control his magic. He would need a few weeks of good sleep and hearty meals before he could get his groove back. But he'll get there. With the group/Jevils support, he would eventually be back to the way he was. Equally matched with Jevil. :}

@clevermakercupcake

Thank you!! :}}} 🌻🌻

I don't remember that, did he do that?? Kwazii whyyy that's nasty XDDD

@cupcake-kingdom

Seam is frightened and confused but appreciates the message! XD

Joy. There's just joy and relief everywhere.

There has been a constant anxiety over this group- not just Jevil, that Seam would suddenly collapse and die. Finally succumbing to the chains draining properties.

Now that the chains are off? Seam will heal. He will eat and stay full. He will absorb those calories and turn it into energy. And he will keep that energy. When he sleeps he will wake up feeling rested. He will heal, he will live.

For Seam, it was almost too good to be true. It just, it blew his mind. He was free. He was really free. No more pain, no more aches. No more hunger. His freedom truly starts here. The relief he felt can't be described. He cried, hard. But he also laughed, and for the first time in years, he smiled.

And Jevil? He couldn't speak. He just cried and cried and cried.. He couldn't let go of Seam. He couldn't stop looking at his wrists. Exanimating them over and over again. As if he couldn't truly believe it. All the anxiety, all the worry, all the sleepless nights. They were all over. Seam was gonna live, he didn't have to worry anymore. He couldn't let go of Seam, he couldn't stop shaking, he couldn't stop crying. He couldn't stop smiling.

They will likely leave some kind of permanent scar on Seam yes.. but his floofy orange fur hides the scars around his neck. And the scars on his wrists will be somewhat covered up by his fur. So thankfully they wont really be noticeable. <:)

@nunyabusiness459

Heck yeah. After they cry their souls out together they go and crash for like 6 hours or something XDD

(Also funny username, made me laugh! XD)

WAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! And heck yeah!! Feel free to send me your AU stuff when you're done/ready! I'd love to see it! :}}

@ocinstituterep I imagine he's just reeeeally quiet about sneaking out. My Kwazii doesn't sneak out though he knows better XD

Thank you so much! Also Spongebob has angst??? :00000

Things are mostly better!

Little Red got her knees fixed, Escorts broken down a few times but he's currently in working order! Suburban is stiillll a work in progress... undrivable at the moment- :x

Greenie now takes all 4 limbs to start, Brown is out of the garage and U.M is out of the trailer! Pretty good stuff :}}

(If any of that made sense to you I applaud you for your dedication to my Transformer ocs <XDD)

@skywillow28022

She does exist, although I didn't have any real plans for her.. maybe she was just a gal that the bros knew in passing back on Earth.?

@beryl-shade

I feel like none of them would willing visit that old stage.. expect for maybe Foxy. I feel like Foxy would be a very emotional and tender hearted character. I can see him not wanting to "leave them behind" in a way. He would come back now and then and talk to the stage as if they were standing on it and could hear him. The staff think that Foxy's programming just hasn't properly registered that Chica and Freddy are gone. And in a way.. they're right..

Foxy cant let go of their memory. And despite how much it would ache seeing that empty stage, I can see him coming back to it anyway..

This also means that part of the reason why Bonnie and Foxy clash so much now is that Bonnie is trying to snuff out any memories and feelings of the past. Meanwhile Foxy is wallowing in those memories and refuses to let go.

If any of the four of them had to preform on that stage once again? Oh man. That would hurt. It would kill Foxy to stand in the place of his late friends. He would feel guilty, ashamed.. Monty and Roxy also couldn't handle it. They would be crushed. Monty would likely get emotional and angry. Roxy would want to run and hide her face. Maybe the three of them would find a way to fake a malfunction so they could just get off the stage..

But Bonnie? Man. Maybe he's so overwhelmed that he just goes on autopilot and finishes the performance. Only to have a complete mental breakdown in his room later.. being so close to the memory of Chica and Freddy.. its crippling to him.

@skatermusic

Daww, thank you :}}}

[sugar-omi]

Ohhh the newest dad cove post the pregnant mc is so so good,,,,, rip though imagine just how clingy this makes him oh my god. (late riser mc) he’s constantly falling asleep on the couch next to you when it gets later, hand on your back or around your middle whether you’re showing yet or not because he can’t stand the idea of you needing something but not waking him up ‘cause he’s in bed(especially when you have bad “morning” sickness).

or something that absolutely makes my blood pressure absolutely skyrocket is strangers being touchy, (he’d obviously not be like? weird about it like if you want to let family or friends feel the baby kick; he’s honestly just nodding along with the biggest goofy-proud smile like “it’s the coolest thing ever right???”) but if random strangers are getting touchy or pushy because they seem to think pregnant people are free real estate? just this big ass man getting physically between the two of you and completely shutting them down without a word? 1000/10.

also rip mc but I myself am a Cove suprise twins truther and not gonna lie to anyone but unless you are well above average size? rip mc. late second trimester and on is just a mess because like the other post said? all fun and games having a giant husband until giant baby time. man is so conflicted(for a multitude of reasons tbh because if one baby almost being here wasn’t overwhelming enough? two?) because on the one hand there’s almost a twinge of guilt because you’re so sore and tired and sick of having to pee every five seconds, but also, not even a sexual(or maybe just a little) thing but some part of his brain is like you said just? that’s his baby- his babies, like it hits him so much that you are literally carrying his kids that you two made together and you trust him enough to be by your side and be your kids’ dad?? and sometimes he’s looking at you with big wet eyes and wobbly lips while you’re trying to hunt down the current craving and you panic that he’s crying, and when he explains… oh now you’re crying because of hormones being out of wack and he’s too sweet for this.

I LOVE YOU ANON. WE ARE THE SAME. literally sharing all my thoughts rn pls... i love the thought of my mc n cove having 1 kid (thru adoption) and their first pregnancy/baby being twins. just instantly throws them into the boiling pot of parenthood

n omg he's so fucking clingy after you get pregnant. if you're not a hugger, you are now. because he needs to be around you n touching you, he fucking loves you so much and just needs to touch n kiss n hold you

omfg, tries to feel the baby kick or anything like that before it's even possible. instantly starts talking to your baby before they're even supposed to be able to hear

if you're still sleeping, or napping, he'll cuddle up near your stomach and strokes the area, tracing hearts and stars and such, talking about how much he loves you. how great you are. tells funny stories from your shared childhood, tells your baby/babies about their future aunts n uncles n grandparents.

they're gonna be so loved.

n if you wake up in the middle of him doing this, try to stay still and listen because then he goes on about how much he loves the babe/s and how he's gonna take care of them, and you, and he'll protect n love them n he daydreams out loud about all the milestones, all the way up to their weddings which just makes him cry

you might even catch him rambling about how he'll make sure they never feel insecure, or like a burden, or anything like that, especially any feelings or thoughts he had from his childhood.

and yeahh, he'd be so overwhelmed and freaked out if your first pregnancy is TWINS!! he gets anxious. because now there's a double chance of failure. he's just so afraid for your future, and even if you're anxious and afraid too now with the news, he does calm down even if you don't comfort him.

bouncing your anxieties off each other, makes him realize you're both going towards a good path. if you're already worried about X, Y, and Z, then you know you're on the same page, and while parenthood is unpredictable.. your beliefs and wishes for your family are certain

takes a deep breath n just promises you it'll be okay. you'll figure it out. you can worry through parenthood together. and you'll figure it out together.

does call his dad and he talks to cove, helps him with his anxieties, etc.. it helps him relax when cliff says that, while cove was a very happy accident, at least he's prepared unlike he and kyra were. this was something you wanted, prepared for. that all the mental preparation, is the best it'll get and now you have to figure it out together, and that he, kyra, and your moms are here to help you figure it out.

n omg cove feeling bad about you being sore, tired, exhausted from the baby totally rearranging your guts and pressing against your bladder like a meat press.

always offers you massages, foot rubs. and helps you do any maintenance, like helping you shave or doing your names, put on lotion, etc. since your stomach is getting too big to work around

helps you put on your shoes if you need, too. he brings you all the snacks (ends up trying your cravings too. in fact, HE has cravings n now both of you are scrambling for the car and end up sitting in the parking lot eating whatever weird combo one of you thought of)

and you're so right about him finding you attractive when you're pregnant, not necessarily sexual like you said although it has undertones. in fact, since we're talking about it. it's kinda like they're satisfied they made their mark on you LOL

which in that case... cove probably doesn't even realize how.. happy. he is. that whenever you leave the house, people can easily see you have someone at home waiting for you. that you're taken.

literally read an article about men's thoughts on their pregnant wives, and they're so interesting (can't get over the guy saying ["my wife still doesn't believe i found her sexy during her pregnancy. i saw what a baby did to her and it just made me want to fill her with more."])

n their increased attraction all seems to come back to their wife carrying their baby, and their body getting bigger. not even just her boobs and butt, loves how her tummy gets bigger during the pregnancy, loves the stretches marks because it's a sign of the hard work she did carrying their baby

he just loves everything about you. loves your glow, your scent, your whole look.

also like i said before, pregnancy just kinda flipped a primal switch in cove's brain. happens to pretty much every man on the planet. loves when you ask him for help because you're too pregnant to do it. or if you call him "daddy", "papa" or something along those lines, just messing with him (same way guys will call you "mama"), he has to grip the counter n take a minute because omfg... he's a dad. he's your babies dad. even if you don't call him that, has to take a breather if you bring him up like that.

is so fucking ecstatic about you calling him your babies father that he will probably fall on the floor crying n throwing up like. he's insane.

ohhh and he'd just be at your beck and call the further along you get. imagine him with his arm wrapped around your waist or shoulder, just keeping you secure in his grip as you cross the road.

just becomes so much more protective. subtly of course, not overboard like growling n hissing but yknow he keeps you close, keeps an eye out.. etc.

oh and you're so right about him putting himself between you n touchy stranger number 8123901. even if you tell him it's okay, he still checks you out to see if you're uncomfortable.

but lets be real, i can't see many daring to get handsy and pushy with your over 6 foot, somewhere 'round 200lbs, husband next to you. that'd just be stupid.

so don't be afraid to just drag him to the store to be your shield LOL

still, even though he relaxes a bit as your pregnancy progresses and to strangers, he seems pretty relaxed and cool n all that. does go home with you and can't help but cry because you look so cute, and your family is increasing, n it's just all so much. he's a big baby still

[minniesmutt]

❤︎ ━━━ FIRST DATE

❤︎ ━━━ SS + WC: 3 + 0.7K

❤︎ ━━━  CW: FOOD MENTIONS, SEX JOKES, MAKING OUT, GENERAL TALK ABOUT SEX

     Walking up to the apartment was a bit nerve-wracking. The last time Seungmin saw Y/n, she was drunk and texting him without knowing it was him. They talked things out over text but he was still nervous. Even more so when he knocked on the door. Pacing for a few times before the door opened. The two looked at each other for a moment before Y/n let him in.

     Once the door closed, that anxiety died down a bit, only when they sat down and started watching Marvel movies, joking around, laughing at the superheroes while enjoying dinner. Y/n paused their current movie, just as it started.

     “Why?” Seungmin asked.

     “Am I not allowed to clean up my home?” She asked him as she got up to clean her coffee table.

     “Do that later,” Seungmin whined as she walked into the kitchen with the empty take-out boxes and utensils.

     “Too bad,” Y/n called

     Seungmin followed her into the kitchen to at least help her clean up. “You can just sit on my couch you know. I’ll be back in a minute.”

     “Let me help.”

     “You bought dinner, that’s help enough.”

     Y/n turned around to him. Seungmin wrapped his arms around her waist. Y/n smiled as he pulled her close to him, laying her arms on his shoulders. Fingers reaching up to play with the hair on the back of his head.

     “I really am sorry for being a dick to you,” his voice was low when he spoke.

     “I like dick so its fine,” Y/n joked, which did make him laugh.

     “This is what I have now, huh?”

     “Yep,” Y/n smiled

     The two headed back to the sofa to finish their movie. It ended up with Y/n laying on her back and Seungmin on top of her as Homecoming played on the screen. Y/n carelessly played with his hair as he looked up at her. 

     “Can I kiss you?” Seungmin asked, making her look down at him. 

     “Yeah,” Y/n answered

     Seungmin scooted up a bit, slowly placing his lips on hers. Both smiled as their lips moved in sync before Seungmin pulled away. A quick kiss that made him want more.

     Diving back in with more vigor, his hands moving to grip her hips tightly as she held him close. Lips pressed roughly pressed against each other. Nights where they stayed up together talking about what they’d do when they met. Every time they tried something came up. The last thing they thought would happen was Y/n drunk texting him and accidentally exposing things and Seungmin putting the pieces together. 

     Seungmin moved his lips down to her jaw and neck. Leaving wet kisses down the column of her neck before he pulled back. Resting his head on her chest. 

     “Alright, bub?” Y/n asked

     “Don't give me cute nicknames,” Seungmin groaned as he moved his arms to wrap around her and hold her close. He didn't sound upset about it 

     “Why? Blushing?” Y/n giggled. He could hide his face but the tips of his ears and the shift of his hips told her a few things. 

     “What’s wrong?” she asked, massaging his scalp again 

     “Trying not to fuck you on the first date.” His answer was mumbled but she still heard him. 

     It also made her blush. She’d been well aware of his sexual side for months. Having sexted him for a while too. She’d known him to be more sarcastic and odd in class so this gentleman’s side of him had her blushing. 

     “How come you never show this gentleman’s side any other time?” Y/n asked

     “Don’t know what you mean,” Seungmin sighed

     “I don’t know. You’re holding back when last week you were telling me how you can’t wait to fuck me into a mattress till I was your brain-dead puppy.”

     “Maybe don’t tweet how you wanna be someone's brain-dead puppy,” Seungmin finally looked up at her again

     “Where else am I supposed to be horny? My main account?” 

     “Want everyone at school to know your secret a slut?” he smiled as he kissed her collarbone

     “Don’t be mean to me. I’ll cum.” 

     “You like when I'm mean,” he chuckled against her neck

     “I do,” Y/n chuckled before be brought his lips back up to hers

❤︎ ━━━━━━ M. LIST  ❤︎  PREV  ❤︎  NEXT

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© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[cursedkeyboard]

Babies shouldn't grow up ☆ Jason Todd & GN!Reader (PT.6 FINAL)

What does Jason do after he secures his spot as your number one person and you slowly but surely grow up into an independent teen..? Wait, stop, you're not supposed to do that. You're his baby. [PART ONE ♤ PART TWO ♤ PART THREE ♤ PART FOUR ♤ PART FIVE ♤ PART SIX]

Pairings: Platonic Jason Todd & Child GN!Reader / Batfamily & Child GN!Reader

Okay, let's be honest here, Jason would hate how fast time flies

As busy as he'd be splitting his life between vigilante work and fatherhood, taking down crazy new villains, attending to your school events, catching up with his friends, going on family vacations, Jason would 100% still notice how fast you were growing

By the way he'd have to often buy you new clothes because of your growth spurt

And how the current mark on the wall where he measured your height was inches apart from the first one he made

You were spending more time with your friends, the things you were getting interested in made no sense to him, and you wouldn't go to him to take care of your hair as much as you used to

It fucking terrified Jason

He hated it, so much

While he was proud and absolutely thrilled that you were independent, confident, and a hell of a charmer, he also wanted his baby back

The little brat who barely came up to his elbows

The one who'd cling to his legs whenever he told you to clean your room and would get dragged around

Hell, he really missed how you'd fit so easily in his arms as he carried you around

You still fit, he was a big guy after all, but for you it'd be a bit embarrassing for your dad to carry you around like that

Teenagers and embarrassment, am I right?

Now in his late twenties and over all that anger inside him, Jason would probably whine about it to his family

"I mean, how can someone grow so fast? It makes no fucking sense!"

"Jason, it's been five years, kids grow."

"Thanks Captain Obvious, but mine shouldn't!"

"What? You wanted the kid to be eleven forever?"

"..."

"Jay..."

"Shut the fuck up."

Somehow, being so lonely and melancholic over watching you sprout and bloom, Jason would even end up bonding a little with Bruce

Think about it, at this point Bruce would already be in his sixties or something, so Cass would've taken over the mantle by then

I'd imagine he'd still work as intelligence for the League but with Cass as the Hero of Gotham and Tim as the CEO of Wayne Industries, the old bat would have a lot of time in his hands

Which he'd spend around his family and grandkid

And when Bruce noticed Jason's pouty and broody demeanor when you were texting a friend, he couldn't help but laugh

"Now you know how I feel."

"It's different. It's going too fast."

"Son, I watched all of you leave the manor in less than fifteen years, it's always too fast."

Begrudgingly, Jason listened to Bruce's advice, that same old anxiety rising up in his chest, leaving him vulnerable and restless

"The best thing you can do is talk to your kid. I learned it the hard way with all of you and I know things would've been different if I had reached out sooner."

Jason couldn't deny that, even if the look in his old man's face did make his chest hurt a little

It's not like he hadn't thought about it, to be honest, you two always had a very open and communicative relationship

That was the exact reason why you two trusted each other implicitly and barely ever had any fights

But he was scared, downright terrified that you would confirm his fears

Just imagining you saying "I'm fifteen, dad, of course I'm not gonna hang out as much with you anymore." already broke his heart

So after whining a little to anyone near him and almost getting stabbed by Damian for "being such a clueless moron", Jason decided to put his big, grown ass adult pants and talk to you

It would be during a late afternoon, when the sun is setting and you had decided to make dinner tonight while Jason set the table

He'd run his hand through his hair once, then twice, maybe even thrice, and ask without looking at you

"Are you embarrassed of me?"

You'd almost burn yourself by whipping your head so hard Jason thought you'd snap your neck

"What?"

Ok, so they were doing this

Cool. Cool cool cool.

It was now or never

"You've been spending a lot of time away, always on your phone, we– uh, we haven't matched or hung out in a while either so– I get it, kid, I know you wouldn't want to–"

"Wait, stop, are you serious?"

Uh, oh, you were using the same tone as Damian

Like you thought he was the dumbest being to walk on earth

Damn that little demon for corrupting you

"I was just wondering, okay? I understand if–"

"No– dad, what? I thought you were busy!"

"What?"

Let's rewind a bit

You'd always been pretty attached to Jason, always glued to his hip, mimicking his mannerisms and speech

Steph even called you "mini Red Hood" when you started to unconsciously copy the way your old man dressed and his slangs

It was terribly cute for everyone

And you were proud of it! You were!

Jason was your hero, your favorite person, your dad

You wanted to be like him and you weren't ashamed of it, not even when Damian tried making fun of you

Because he was a dirty Batman wannabe and nobody liked those

He was your best friend and confidant, the one adult you'd trust fully without questions, always by his side and supporting him through everything

Except for that one time playing monopoly but that was Cass's influence

You owned Red Hood merch, you liked spending weekends and holidays with him, you matched your tastes and likes to everything Jason liked because it was Jason and you wanted to be closer to him

Birthdays could end up being just the two of you and you'd still be thrilled to have your dad around (even if the other bats would never allow such sad little party)

You had around nine years of experience with shitty adults, so excuse you for being overjoyed that your real dad was someone worth loving fully and irrevocably

But everything changed when you turned fourteen and the kids in your class started acting... weird

"Urgh, my mom is so embarrassing."

"My dad keeps calling me little princess even though I told him to stop!"

"Why are parents so cringe."

Apparently, disliking your parents made you cool in middle school

But that's not what changed things

It was when your friends laughed at you for talking so much about Jason, asking you if your old man even had time to do other things when you kept clinging to him

Which... you had never thought about

In all honesty, being around your dad was so natural at that point, always in his field of vision, relating random things to him, texting one word messages just to check in, that you hadn't realized you've might have been hogging his attention too much

Some unease and insecurities wormed their way inside your vulnerable teen heart and you convinced yourself you had been taking too much of your father's time

You couldn't even remember the last time he hung out with his best friend

What if he became sick of you?

What if he was already annoyed?

That terrified you, it truly did

Long story short, you forced yourself to change a little, keeping a bit more distance, not being as needy or clingy

You even started doing your hair by yourself, which sucked so much ass

You never realized how much thought and care your dad put in taking care of you

It made you miss him even more, but you wanted to be a good kid and let your dad have some freedom

He was still in his 20s after all!

And with him a bit more involved with his vigilante side of life, going to the manor more often, and the rise in criminal activity, you had assumed he was busy being an adult

Which, eurgh, you missed him so bad

But you were being a good child!

So much for that

By the time you finished explaining your side of things, after the two of you stared at each other for long moments, Jason was left with his head in his hands

He made a noise akin to a deflating balloon, his shoulders slumping

Good god, the two of you were embarrassing

He loved you

So fucking much

Jason thought his heart would explode

He could've been a little upset that you didn't just... talk to him but then again, he also didn't talk to you

Like father, like kid

"You're so stupid!"

Your laughter warmed his heart as he grabbed you by the shoulders and wrapped you in a bear hug, squeezing you tightly

Yep, you still fit perfectly in his arms

"Says the one who listened to the words of fourteen year olds!"

"I was also fourteen!"

Even though you two bickered and grumbled, his sigh of relief in your hair was very telling

And so was the way you clung to him tightly

God, he had missed his kiddo so much

"Never do that to me again, okay? Babies shouldn't grow so fast."

"I'm fifteen, dad."

"And you're also cute and short, so you're still my baby."

"Everyone is short when you're six foot."

"Thank the pit for that."

"I don't think I will, actually."

That night, after the two of you ate your somewhat burnt dinner, Jason carried you to the couch despite your whining and cuddled you as you picked your movie of choice

You did grow, currently in that awkward teen phase with growing pains and longer limbs, but the way you tucked your head beneath his chin was still the same

The way you looked at him, eyes filled with happiness and adoration, was still the same

Your laugh and sharp words, how you still reacted the same way to certain scenes, your mannerisms, attitude, innocence

Sure, you were growing wonderfully

And you definitely mirrored him a lot more than you knew

But Jason had been a fool for thinking you were changing

You were still his baby, the mean kid with a soft heart, rough past, and dirty mouth he grew to love so much he didn't know what to do with himself

And to know that distance between you two had been manipulated and not purposeful ripped his anxiety right out of his chest

You wanted to be by his side just as much

You loved him just as much

And he couldn't ask for more

"You will let me do your hair tomorrow though, you fucking suck at it."

"Suck a bag of dicks, dad."

"Love you too, brat."

The end.