#moral of the story is it’s not our business either way

[fagtainsparklez]

Dan and Phil are dating?? They have been open about that since around 2012/2013????? Did you actually not know this?? /lh

i don’t know how to respond to this bc. no they haven’t? especially not in 2012/2013, since they weren’t even out of the closet until like, 2019. the way dan has described their relationship was by saying it was more than just romantic, life companions and soulmates, but they’ve never said the words “we are dating” because they literally don’t think that’s anyone business other than their own. i don’t know where you got this information but it’s definitely not correct

[jarofstyles]

Illicit 5

Here's Illicit part 5.. It's a fun one for sure hehe

Check out our Patreon for early access and 100+ exclusives

Illicit Masterlist

WC- 3k

Warnings- exhibitionism(?), Voyerism(?), Really mean H, Cheating (H w Y/N), spit play, smut etc

------------

It was safe to say that Brant was not pleased in the slightest that his daughter had tricked Harry. While he wasn’t pleased with the fact that it had come to that in order for them to spend time together, his company took precedence over his daughter’s relationship. He had apologized profusely to Harry, telling him he would speak to his daughter and make sure she knew how inappropriate her actions were. That wasn’t what he was looking for. 

He wanted this contract terminated. 

Perhaps, if he hadn’t met Y/N, he would have a bit more tact. Suffer in silence and just roll his eyes at her antics, let her do what she needed to get him off of her back. But he did. He met the love of his life and this girl was standing in the way of what he wanted. That never turned out well for anyone, really, but this girl had pushed his last straw. He needed her to break up with him so this agreement was void. The moment she told him it was done, he would perhaps just for joy. It was exhausting. The annoyance he used to feel for her had built up into a sweltering hatred, a loathing. Every little thing she did pissed him off and put her higher and higher on his shit list. He needed her gone, and fast. He couldn’t keep hiding Y/N.

Katherine on the other hand, only wanted to chase harder. She was livid with him for speaking out loud, letting people question their relationship. Sure enough there was a grainy video of a pissed off Harry growling at her from across the table, throwing cash on to the table. The articles had come out in droves.

Trouble in Paradise for the New IT Couple?

UnStylish Dinner- Waitress Tells All

Rocky Road for Heiress and Mogul 

Is THE Couple Calling it Quits?

Tantrum at the Table? Katherine Brant EXPOSED!

Needless to say, she was twitching and angry. Her carefully curated brand had been tarnished. She’d put in months now of effort, building up their story. Letting herself sit aside while Harry was busy but getting her head bitten off when she wanted a bit of attention. Her crush on him was obsessive. It wasn’t just getting his love anymore, it was building their relationship up to legendary levels. Give them a ship name! Katrry? Hatherine? She was fine with either, but she wanted that influencer reputation. The wealth itself wasn’t enough. She wanted attention, damn it, and Harry was ruining her plans. 

When Katherine had originally gotten this deal, she was ecstatic. She was convinced she could get the ‘emotionless beast’ as people around there called him, to love her. She knew she was pretty, funny, she had a lot to offer. Her plan had been foolproof, or so she thought. Thinking about how they could rise up and be the perfect power couple. New money and Old coming together and ruling over the city with a golden fist. 

They had been ruined, however, when he didn’t give. They had sex 2 times, she gave him oral once, and the man had barely said anything to her except ‘shut up.’ He was selfish, using her as a mere fleshlight to get off on. No praise, no words besides a grunt when he came. He’d demanded her face down, ass up, and to keep quiet. Bite the pillow if you need, your voice is annoying.  It hadn’t been bad, his cock thick and hitting the right spots, but he showed no interest in her. No affection. Simply slapping her ass and getting up to shower alone after he was done. He’d asked if she was good, but that was about it. She’d thought maybe using sex to get to him would work, but after the second time he straight up denied her. No phsycial contact.

There was no way he was normal. He didn’t have emotions nor morals, it seemed, but she didn’t need those in order to have a happy life. Giving up on the affection, she’d tried to perfect the image, manipulating photos, planting people to see things at certain angles. Making people think she had done the impossible- she had turned the mottled, charred heart of Harry Styles into a blooming forest, just for her. But obviously- things were not turning out her way. Katherine was used to getting her way. 

So she devised a plan. An intervention of sorts, one that had her stomping into his office only to be told he had taken the day off. A direct lie he had told her just an hour earlier, saying he was busy at work all day and not to bother him with silly things. Like her feelings. She was fuming and irrational, knowing what she had to do. It would perhaps get people fired, maybe get her in big trouble with her father, but she wasn't thinking clearly right now. All she wanted to do was to yell at him. Give Harry a taste of his own medicine, damn it. He acted so high and mighty, so above her, and it infuriated her. 

Knowing it wasn’t smart and the back of her mind reminding her of how much he valued his privacy, she knew it was dirty. But seeing her opportunity with a new doorman to his building, proving their relationship status with his phone number in her phone and photos of them together, she got the spare key to his place. 

Her heart was beating in her throat as she pushed the front door handle down, heels clicking as she walked inside the foyer. The place was quiet, really, except for a faint sound coming from the upstairs of the penthouse. Naive, she assumed it was the television. Harry hadn’t allowed her here more than to meet her in the hallway, so part of this was saving her curiosity as she saw the large panoramic views of the city in this high rise, floor to ceiling windows. His step down living room with a half one puzzle on the coffee table and a U Shaped couch, she walked past it and towards the grand staircase to make her way up to where he must be. 

It was nerve wracking, really. Being here, knowing she wasn’t supposed to be, but the rage simmering under her skin was too hot to make sense of it. Each step clicked, bringing her closer to the sound she still couldn’t quite make out. 

“Oh, fuuuuck.” A feminine voice let out, faint but loud enough to make her throat tight. There was no way. Each step closer gained another sound. A grunt, a smack, a whimper. A manly cooing, the sound of flesh slapping together and hushed words that only got clearer as she neared the door that was ajar. 

“S’good, baby?” It was Harry. Harry Styles, with his low crooning voice. A tone she had never heard before, making her stiffen up and her eyes blink hard as the deep words continue. “S’so good for me. Always so fucking good, swallowing me up.” A weak whine sounded in reply. Tip toeing closer, her curiosity got the best of her again as she peeked inside. 

On the plush bed, the blankets were crumpled and wrinkled. A starkly naked, almost faceless woman was laying on her back, fingers clutching the broad expanse of Harry’s bare, tanned back. The pearly pink of her demure manicured nails digging into the skin, making a groan Katherine had never imagined the man capable of falling from swollen lips. She was getting a side view, a real pornographic image playing in front of her face. Frozen, like watching a car crash as she looked at the couple. 

He was fucking another woman. A woman he was treating much differently than she had ever treated her. His hand scooping under her neck, cooing down at her as tiny repetitive whimpers left her lips. “I know, M’Love. I know, I’m getting that spot, aren’t I? S’my spot.” He brushed her nose with his own, fucking into her deep and concentrated. The sweat glistened on his skin as she watched her supposed ‘boyfriend’ fuck into the cunt of another woman. He called her ‘his love.’. She was shaking, face pale as she couldn't seem to uncement her feet from the carpeted hall. 

“Yes, yes, right there. Right there, H.” The woman panted. Desperation was clear in her tone, her legs pulled up and on his shoulders. H? She was allowed a nickname and Katherine wasn't? “I can’t stop, m’gonna cum, m’gonna cum I-” A needy squeal sounded in the room as Harry leaned down, spitting over her cunt and smearing it in with his hand. Unashamed and passionate. He was being filthy, but the way he looked at the woman- it broke her a little. Whoever this was, she had gotten her dream. She was the one standing in the way of it, she was the one who had ruined her plans. She’d hypnotized him with sex, somehow managing to get her goal of unfreezing his heart. Just the way he handled her made Katherine well aware of the fact that he was in love. 

“There we fuckin’ go, my love. Soak my cock.” He hissed through his teeth, eyes looking up from Y/N to follow his gut feeling, eyes meeting Katherine’s in the doorway. Instead of stopping, of growling at her, instead of making her presence known, he simply laughed, turning his attention back to Y/N and let her watch. His thrusts increased in tempo, a hand placed on her tummy as he worked harder. Like he was trying to prove something. “S’my perfect girl. All mine, let go all over my cock. S’all yours, baby.” He hummed. “I can feel it- fuck, you’re trying to milk me. Y’want it, sweet girl?” He mumbled down at her. “Want my cum again?” 

Her eyes betrayed her, looking down to find that his cock was indeed bare. Something she knew he was notorious for never allowing. It solidified a lot to Katherine, knowing that he was fucking this girl raw, that she was the one that had beat her to him. Anger and shame bubbled inside of her as her face stays red, watching his slick pick drive into her, spreading her open with each pass. Creamy at the base, like this wasn’t their first round, maybe a third. Bitten skin and scratch marks, her breasts with pebbled nipples arched up as begged for it, unashamed at her pleas as Harry stared down at her with pure love and lust. It seemed to be his undoing, dropping down her legs and finding himself on top of her, deep and hard thrusts as he pressed his nose to hers before his face contorted in rapture. A deep growl, his hips stuttering as he pushed in one final time and the wet sounds of sex ended. Only then, he took her mouth with his own while he stayed balls deep, humping into her and kissing her hard, more passion going into that one kiss than he had given her the whole of their relationship. 

His expression hardened as he pulled away, looking up at Katherine with a single warning mouthed to her by his swollen, spit slicked lips. ‘Get the fuck out.’ 

—---------

“I love you.” Harry mumbled into Y/N’s neck, peppering it with kisses. He wasn’t going to ruin this post orgasm bliss quite yet, ignoring the woman standing with a gaping mouth at their bedroom door. “So much. My sweet angel.” He stroked the messy locks from her face, their second round on his day off being usually one of his favorites. This time, it was again, but for a much more nefarious reason. 

Harry wasn’t one to tell someone they were wrong if they called him cruel. He was. Y/N, his nieces and his family were the only ones shielded by his gray morals, but there was a sick part of him that was relieved. Excited, even, that Katherine got a glimpse. Saw that she could never compare, that he was a taken man and was only with her. Maybe now, she would get it through her impossibly thick skull. Only, it seemed she was stupider than Harry had originally thought, standing like a deer in headlights as Harry gently pulled out, using his fingers to curl inside her cunt and the other grabbing the blanket to cover up Y/N. 

“Can you not read lips? I said to get the fuck out.” He said coldly, fingers pressing the cum further into Y/N’s cunt as he looked at Katherine. “You come in here, invade my privacy? More so, my girl’s privacy? Not fucking okay.”

“Are you kidding me?” Katherine squeaked. Y/N had been clued in and felt herself curl in on herself, hiding under the blanket as her thundering heart didn’t take the second to calm down. It only got worse. “I’m your girlfriend! Not this, this-”

“I’d choose your words very fucking carefully.” He snapped, eyes darker than she had ever seen. He was naked as the day he was born, cock wet and filthy with another woman's orgasm mixed with his own, and he was more threatening than she could have ever imagined. “This is the woman who will be the mother of my children. You, Katherine, are a means to an end. An end I’ve been trying to work on and you’ve been too pathetic to catch a clue. Or stupid, actually, considering I’ve told you I’m here because you whined to your father who was dumb enough to add a personal matter cloud his judgment. I didn’t want you then, and I don’t want you now.” He pulled his fingers from Y/N, licking them clean without breaking eye contact with the wicked witch. He hoped it made her sick.

“You are a monster.” She whispered, face paling. “You don’t care about anything! Any of the effort I put in, it’s because you’ve had a whore on the side-”

“Watch your fucking mouth.” He interrupted again. “She’s not the whore. If anything, you’re the one on the side trying to desperately prove to people who don’t care about you that you are important. It’s pathetic. I tried to help you by treating you like shit, but let me spell it out for you.” He stood up, giving Y/N’s forehead a kiss before crossing his arms. “You are nothing to me. You’ve never been anything to me. She has been my everything since the day we met. I have been dreaming of marrying her, impregnating her, keeping her. You and this fucked up deal have been an inconvenience since day one. And don’t even think about running to your father crying. There is no clause saying I need to be loyal to you. No monogamy, no fidelity clause. Your father’s company was a welcome inquisition to my empire, but it means nothing to me now. You mean nothing to me. Your time is worthless.” 

Harry was harsh but real. Y/N had her hand over her mouth, watching the exchange in horror. She wasn’t pleased about being seen, as it felt extremely violating, but she couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t feeling that weird sense of satisfaction over finally being seen as his one and only. It was a weird juxtaposition of feelings swirling in her gut, blinking as she watched the girl’s face fall. Harry was being ruthless, trying to cement the facts in her head. 

“I’ve been as kind as I can be given the situation. I went along with your little schemes but I’m tired. Frankly, the things you care about are vapid, stupid, and you will fall out of public favor in seconds once the next heiress with a camera pops up. But you’ve fucked up massively, Katherine.First, wasting my time and business hours. But this? Breaking and entering? Are you really that pathetic?” He sneered. It must have been a sight, seeing a stark nude Harry Styles sneering at a shivling excuse of an influencer who was standing in his doorway. “And here you are now, wasting my time with my love. I was going to continue this agreement and let you continue whatever social media posts, but this is too far for me. No deal is worth a psychotic woman breaking into my house and making my woman feel unsafe.” 

He crossed the room to grab his phone when he heard her sputter. 

“Wait! No- No, don’t call my dad.” She said shakily. “Please don’t call him. I’ll do anything. He’s going to kill me.” Katherine, above all else, couldn’t stand the threat of being cut off. That’s what he threatened the other day for using his phone to trick Harry. Katherine was used to her lifestyle and if that was taken away, she didn’t know what she would do. 

“Call off the contract.” He said. “That’s the only way I’m not telling your father and ruining your life. Break up with me, do your silly influencer thing and call the paparazzi. Call me an asshole, I don’t give a fuck. But break this contract. I want out of it and I want to be rid of you.” He found his briefs, pulling them up his legs. This was the one thing he wanted. To be honest, part of him did want to ruin her life- but he didn’t want to be held responsible for all the other shit that came with it. So for one final time, he gave her a shot. “And get the fuck out before I call security.”  

If she didn’t take this warning seriously, he’d be happy to show her what kind of monster he could be. 

[livelaughloveloak]

𓂅 WISHUROSES ⊰ 🎡

𖦹 pairing : earth1610!miles morales x reader

𖦹 summary : random scenarios and headcanons of miles as your boyfriend

𖦹 author's note : y'all I'm literally running out of ideas so I would appreciate it if you guys sent me some requests 😭 btw this isn't proofread

you and him definitely have a snapstreak but it was on accident. he randomly snapped you and you'd snap him back on a daily so now you two are just stuck with a 200+ snapstreak.

he bought you a Polaroid camera for your birthday and you ended up using up most of the film on him.

you have the pictures up on the board hanging up in your room

HE'S A COMPLETE SWEET HEARTTTT through actions or through text he'll show his love for you either way.

you pulled back from the tight hug miles pulled you into and looked up at his face. "miles you have that smug look on your face again." you poked his cheek and laughed. miles gasped and was quick to defend himself although he was in fact smiling like an idiot. "I do not!!"

if he's not busy with spiderman business, school, family problems, or hanging out with you then he's busy texting you instead.

he might go to an advanced private school but he refuses to write sentences properly.

you'd receive messages from him like these

inaminit

whaddup

nuhuh

luv u

wya?

he'll abuse the living hell out of emojis when texting you

"yup 😎😎😎😎😎😎💪💪💪"

"wdym no ☹️☹️😒😒🤨🤨🤨"

omw Mami 😋😋😋🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿

he'll ask you for help when it's washday for his hair. his scalp is sensitive so you make sure to be extra careful

he has your contact saved as mi alma. one time his mom saw the contact name pop up on his phone and questioned him about it. he freaked out and started blabbering nonsense

he tells you stories about his adventures when his uncle aaron was still alive.

he has a picture of you as his wallpaper and a pic of you guys together as his lockscreen

he draws you two matching pfps

will definitely give you a new drawing everytime he can

was sweating bullets when he finally revealed to you that he was spiderman.

the pressure was quickly lifted off of his shoulders once you said that you accepted him and understood.

he's still scared that you'd be his canon event and swears he'll never let you die

"even if I have to destroy this universe as long as you're alive I'll be alright." you pinched his cheek and smiled. "don't be silly miles" a groan escaped his mouth as you giggled. "mami stopppp I'm being serious right now."

he let's you win in games just to see you happy but if it's basketball he's not gonna hold back 😭🙏

has his face buried in your neck while sleeping. he says it's because "I'm cold and you just happen to be warm" but yet again it's the middle of summer.

will be jumping up and down our of joy when you bought him new Jordans for his birthday

he has a bracelet with your name engraved into it and he wears it proudly

his phone album is filled with pictures of you. you and him fight eachother whenever you catch him trying to take a candid 0.5 picture of you

he 100% calls you "my heart"

says the most old man type of comebacks when playfully arguing with you

"yeah well you can go kick rocks!!"

"boohoo buckaroo"

"too bad so sad"

"nuh uh" or in other times "yuh huh"

"whatever pal"

"listen here buddy"

you two wear matching pajamas when you have sleepovers

don't get me started on this man and saying the "rizz" jokes...

"rizzanator is what I am"

"let's have a rizz off"

"call me the rizzmaster"

he'll airdrop you the most random memes and burst out laughing when seeing your reaction

he gifted you a promise ring with both of your initials engraved into it as an anniversary gift

miles won you a teddy bear in a fair and now you both call it your "child"

don't expect to get a warning because miles will randomly FaceTime you out of nowhere.

he'd give you a spiderman suit so you could match with him

when you first met his mom she liked you without hesitation and asked to take a picture with you. she made miles take the picture 😭

overall a sweet guy and will give you the princess treatment you deserve!!

﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉

July 4, 2023 | All rights reserved to @livelaughloveloak • Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own. ✮

art in the polaroids are made by purpletunabread on twitter and koscribbls on instagram

[musings-of-a-rose]

jealous peña please or super sweet husband peña <3

A Busy Kiss

Pairing: Javier Peña x wife reader

Word Count: 600

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: I went with sweet because I love a sweet Javier!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Javier Peña Masterlist

He’s gone a lot. Most days, my husband wakes before me, quietly trying to rush his routine to get to work as he’s usually running late. I asked him once why he didn’t just wake up earlier if he was always barely making it in time. Javier simply smiled at me, cupping my cheek with his warm hand and said, simply, “But then I’d miss that time with you.”

So for me, he rushes out of the front door nearly every morning, a quick press of his lips to mine or my cheek or forehead before he all but runs from our apartment. 

But lately, I’ve barely seen him at all. 

I know they’re closing in on Cali and that there’s a sort of deadline if Javi was to catch them before their deal with the government. I understand the need for Javi to spend all of his time focusing on catching them, bringing them to justice.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss the hell out of him.

A couple months into this new schedule, he comes home earlier than normal, which is still late by society standards. I’m already in bed but I hear him shuffle in the room, slipping into the bathroom and turning on the shower. He’s not there for long, choosing to slip under the covers and slide up behind me instead. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me tight to his chest as he nuzzles into my ear.

“I love you, hermosa,” he whispers, gently kissing my ear, his mustache tickling me. I let out a small chuckle and he repeats his action, loving the way I squirm in his grip.

The next morning, we wake to his phone ringing. Javi groans, answering the call with a gruff tone. He sighs and I know it was a call to come in early, despite the fact he got in late. Sure enough, he hangs up the phone, turning on his back and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I gotta go in, hermosa.”

“Mmm.” I’m still half asleep, on the edge, deciding whether to fall back asleep or wake up.

Javi gets up with a groan and quietly gets ready. I hear him in the living room putting on his shoes and grabbing his keys, the front door lock sliding in place.

About 20 minutes later, the door opens again and I’m blinking awake. Javi comes bursting into the room, striding over to the bed and leans down to place a soft but heated kiss to my lips. 

“Aren’t you gonna be late?”

He smiles down at me. “I got halfway there and realized I’d forgotten to kiss you before I left. I wouldn’t be able to focus all day if I didn’t get to kiss my wife.”

I lean up, fingers wrapping around his tie to pull him to me, deepening the kiss. Javi braces himself on his arms, placing them on either side of me as he leans over me. 

“Aren’t you gonna be late?” I smirk against his lips. 

Javi glances down at his watch. “I think I can spare a few minutes. For my wife.”

—----

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[bearsintreesofficial]

a recreation of a sonic fanfiction i wrote when i was 10

ok y'all, some context is needed.

we have a song called cassiopeia coming out tonight. i made a tiktok that said if the sound for cassiopeia is used 100 times, i'll publish the sonic fanfiction i wrote when i was 10 that i joke about a lot but have never shared. anyway, this happened in an hour. i am shocked. i did not expect it to happen so quickly, if at all. i begin my search.

well, it turns out i can't publish it because the places it was published no longer exist, and 10 y/o me didn't back it up (although i thought i had). bummer. an early internet relic gone.

either way, the plot details are seared into my memory because honestly? for some reason, that small act of creativity was a core memory in my life. so while i can't share it, i can retell it, because it's silly and pretty accurately captures what it's like to be 10 and obsessed with a piece of popular media. so here goes.

enjoy, and stream our new single cassiopeia tonight.

SCENE OPENS

the fanfiction was about a page long. the story opens with me - in school, as i did most every day of my life up to that point. in the story, sonic/tails/knuckles live in the human world, and essentially function as superheroes. there's no explanation for it, they just are there keeping the earth safe and such. we are also friends. there is no explanation or backstory for that either.

with the setting established, we're straight into the action; an alien pod crash lands in our school playground after school. me and my friend are the only kids left. where are the teachers? who knows. as is evident, worldbuilding was not my strong point.

anyway, in this alien pod is...an alien. it was a spider that looked a lot like the facehuggers from the alien film franchise, because i'd seen a clip of that as a kid and it freaked the hell out of me. i call sonic (where did i get a mobile phone from?) and let him know something Serious is going down. sonic and tails arrive - knuckles is too busy trying to get the master emerald back from doctor robotnik in this instance.

my friend and i take a back seat and let sonic and tails deal with the weird alien thing. they deal with one, but as soon as they get rid of it 10 other capsules drop in the area. sonic and tails can't take them all, so me and my friend join in to help take them out. i didn't really account for how, but we're fighting all back to back and it's very epic. (sonic x was the prevailing sonic show at the time, and it was y'know - very dramatic. so this was like a scene from that.) tails even brings in the tornado two, his personal plane, to run rings around them. after we finish the final facehugger alien off, a final alien pod descends. but out of this pod emerges...

shadow the hedgehog.

the aliens had been sent by him, and he was here to take sonic down. this was all part of his master plan.

the piece then ended, because i suppose i was going to follow it up at some point. but alas, that did not happen.

moral(s) of the story:

archive the silly stuff you wrote when you were a kid, it'll be fun to look back on later.

stream our new song, cassiopeia. it has nothing to do with any of this, but i think it's neat regardless.

thank you.

[lemmeurs]

okay. here is my 1600+ words essay on raphael. if anyone would like to adress anything from it, please do but keep it civil! i am so damn invested in this topic, i wanna hear everyone's thoughts

raphael rant

(DISCLAIMER: this essay was not written in order to justify Raphael as a character or any of his actions or intentions. i am completely skipping any point of morality, whether my own or just in general, i simply wanted to somehow try and write my feelings and thoughts down while looking at the whole thing from an objective point of view, analyzing the design of the game, the plotline and his whole persona and just.. idk i wanted to see whether anyone else felt the way i do because i have been going INSANE over this for the past few days)

hi. i have come here today to express my thoughts and feelings on Raphael the cambion and "his final act". this is being randomly and spontaneously written in my notes app so please excuse the absolute chaos that this essay will be (no i won't be rereading it, fuck it we ball) (CONTAINS BG3 ACT III SPOILERS!!)

first of all — i am so beyond devastated that he gets killed. and not just by anyone, he gets killed BY US. THE PLAYER. WE AS THE PLAYER DELIVER THE FINAL BLOW THAT ENDS HIS EXISTENCE. not only is that very upsetting (because come on, hot devil man, obviously i don't wanna kill him??) but it also makes me feel so.. awful. like, everything about this is wrong and i hate the fact that there is no other option.

because let's review the course of the story in the house of hope:

- we barge into his house unannounced, uninvited, while he is absent

- we invade his privacy by entering what's his own personal space (yes, i know he stole it from Hope in the first place but that is not the point here — whatever his devil business is, it's still HIS, you know?? like he is a devil, this is the kinda stuff they do and honestly? i didn't want to stick my nose into it. but obviously i did because tHe sToRy etc etc. but still, it was his own thing that basically doesn't affect the player in any way so TECHNICALLY you dont have to free Hope. you can, if your character's moral compass advises so, but it doesn't affect the main plot.)

- we then proceed to walk around his house freely, lie to his archivist in order to look at the stuff we're already planning to steal

- we meet his personal incubus whom then we have the chance to either use or kill (i fought Haarlep so that's the point of view i'm looking from at this here, in which case i also robbed their corpse) and we rob his safe. and his whole bedroom actually. we read his journals. we use his bath.

- then obviously we go and rob his entire archive which includes all of his most precious possessions

- upon stealing, we slaughter every single creature in his house, fighting our way through to get to Hope's prison

- we then kill the two spectators he has guarding her (they were probably super hard to obtain??) and we just. free his prisoner. because yeah, that is the right thing to do, IM NOT SAYING THAT'S WRONG, but let's say we skip morality for a second, let's just focus on the fact that we have no ulterior motives in freeing Hope. we just wanna mess with HIS business because why not since we're already ruining all of his plans.

- and then we have the audacity to try to leave before he comes back and act like we were never there while his entire house is turned to shit.

now let's look at this list again but this time keep in mind the fact that at that point, he hasn't done A SINGLE THING to us. like, he has never harmed us, he treated us with (let's call it) "respect" and politeness, he was fine with our hesitation towards his deal and was willing to give us time. he was never aggressive towards us, he was never "the enemy".

and now you can say - okay wtf is wrong with you, that man literally admitted his intention of conquering the worlds, enslaving all mortals and basically becoming the tyrant of all while also most likely stealing everyone's souls for his own pleasure.

yes, he did, and yes, that's bad. but just because those were his intentions does not give us the right to do all that shit to him AND THEN KILL HIM. AS IF WE HAD THE RIGHT TO SERVE JUSTICE HERE?? YEAH HIS PLANS ARE EVIL BUT IT IS NOT UP TO US TO DICTATE HIS CONSEQUENCES. HIS PLANS WOULD ONLY SUCCEED IF WE GAVE HIM THE CROWN IN THE END, SO JUST- DON'T?? LIKE DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN. IM NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS OR INTENTIONS, BY ALL MEANS. i'm just trying to express how weird this all made me feel because not everyone decides to play as the selfless, lawfully good hero of all, protecting the world from all evil, ever! this is roleplay, afterall!

and them obviously he comes home. he is furious, as he should be. but mostly he's betrayed because, as weird as it may be, he trusted us. he admitted to growing "quite fond of us, in his own way". he thought we were some weird sort of.. acquaintances? friends maybe? (again, i know most of our relationship with him is mostly just him manipulating us but still, it's quite clear he wasn't expecting this betrayal) and we just barged in there and disrespected him in the worst way possible. so obviously he wants to kill us now and obviously we can kill him since he's just a boss in a game. and that's what we do. and then.. that's it. we're the good guys. we ruined a man's whole career because we needed one of his toys, murdered him in his own house and just left. and we're supposed to be the good guys.

i think the source of my problem is that Raphael is never introduced as evil. we don't meet him as the big bad villain that we know we'll have to kill at some point. i swear to god, at the beginning of act 3 i trusted that man way more than i trusted the Emperor and i was so close to agreeing to his deal just because i felt like i could trust him and he would keep me safe (for some reason, let's blame it on those wonderful eyes of his).

we meet him so early on in the game and he follows through all 3 acts, making it feel like he's gonna be some key character that will matter in the end - turns out, no! we were just supposed to rob and kill him. and that's literally it. talk about wasted potential.

when i first met him i got the "unofficial narrator" vibes from him, as if he was only supposed to seem intimidating and "evil" but you could sense there was so much more to him and i was dying to see how his story would unwrap. i was so ready for a redemption act, a plot twist, anything. man was i disappointed. because how cool would it be if he turned out to be a part of the "gather your allies" quest?? imagine having him as an ally and an ACTUAL friend in the end??

and don't even GET ME STARTED on what the orb in Helsik's shop shows you after you kill him. the fact that he's not even dead yet but ABOUT TO BE DEVOURED BY MEPHISTOPHELES. ABOUT TO BE DEVOURED. BY HIS FATHER. HE. WHAT. THATS THE ENDING HE GETS. and we are the ones that served it to him when he got RIGHTFULLY pissed at us for doing all that shit to him. and im supposed to just be fine with it?? i'm supposed to feel like this was the ending he deserved and i did the right thing??

god what i would give for a different way. idk. striking a new deal with him. saving him from Mephistopheles afterwards. REDEMPTION ARC?? ANYTHING?? NO? THATS IT THEN?

now i know that you dont HAVE to kill him, you can either agree to his deal or just ignore him and the house of hope altogether. but that just defeats the whole purpose of this character?? agreeing to his deal and giving him the crown at the end results in a pretty bad ending and ignoring him means that yeah, you don't have to kill him but you also don't get anything else from him anymore. like he has no other endings, just either death or his big evil plans. and for a game with so many choices and so much branching, it just feels almost weird that that's all he is there for. then why do we meet him in act 1? why does he follow through to act 2? (yeah, astarion, i know, but i cant help but feel like they could have put a completely different way to read his runes there if they didnt want Raphael specifically to help us) WHY ARE WE ALREADY SO USED TO HIM BY THE TIME HE PRESENTS HIS DEAL? if the whole hammer business is the only thing he's in the game for, then we may have as well been introduced to him only in act 3 during the whole Voss quest. but we knew him already and he felt like some sort of a.. friend lets call it? idk. this just does not make sense to me and makes me genuinely so sad.

as i'm writing this, it's the third day after ive completed the house of hope and i literally can not think about anything else. like my mind is just going on and on about this and i cant get over it!! im actually GRIEVING a fictional devil and i dont know what to do with all these.. thoughts.

so now i actually genuinely MISS THAT MF. I MISS HIM. GIVE HIM BACK. I WASN'T DONE AND NEITHER WAS HE. PLEASE PLEASE LARIAN I CAN FIX HIM—

okay i think thats it for now. idk i wrote this so chaotically i already forgot what i said and didnt say. im just. im feeling so many things. im so fucking sad and mad that this is how it ends. rest in peace hot devil man i will never forget you.

[wolfjackle-creates]

Ghost!Robin Part 9

First, Previous

I'm posting early this Wednesday! I've down time at work as I wait for the centrifuge to stop spinning my antibodies (48 minutes left of 2 hours). And I have plans after work. So it's either now or at 11 pm my time.

Story Summary: Danny was invited to dinner at Wayne Manor to meet Jazz's boyfriend and his family for the first time. He worked hard to make sure no ghost business would interrupt the evening. But when he arrived, all he could focus on was the ghost of the dead Robin that seemed to haunt Jason.

Word Count: 1.2k

----------

Jason’s voice was low and threatening. “It’s an ice duck made of Lazarus water.”

More alarming than his voice was the way his eyes glowed ecto-green and the fear-anger that filled the room.

Thank the ancients for Jazz, because he had no idea how to respond to that. She was the one who placed a hand on Jason’s arm and asked, “What’s Lazarus water?”

Meanwhile, Danny focused on sending out calm, no danger, safe feelings to counteract Jason’s projections.

It seemed to work slightly as Jason lowered his gun, but he didn’t put it away. “Just green, bubbling liquid that collects in pits and will kill the healthy but return the mortally wounded to life with a side dose of uncontrollable rage.” His eyes were glued to the duck in Danny’s hands.

That sounded like the opposite of good, Pariah curse it. “Jazz, why do your in-laws keep giving me more work to do?” Danny groaned as he mentally moved a few things around his to-do list.

He handed the duck to Robin who gave a thanks trill as he took it.

Danny continued, “And, Jason, can you tell me where these pits are so I can get rid of them? Sounds like there’s some leaks between the Infinite Realms and the moral realms that were never dealt with because Pariah was the worst.”

“Who is this ‘Pariah’ person?” asked Damian. “You have mentioned them before.”

Danny was going to reply when Alfred cleared his throat and the table went silent to look at him. “I understand there’s a lot of information everyone wants to know from our guests, however I believe it has been recognized that they wish us no harm. So perhaps we might allow them to at least taste the pie Master Jason and I worked hard on? We also have ice cream, Mr. Danny.”

Jazz took the excuse to tug on Jason’s arm. He hesitated a moment, still looking uncertainly at his ghost playing with the duck, but obediently sat down without saying anything more.

“I haven’t had ice cream in ages,” admitted Danny. “Haven’t even been on Earth for months my-time. Only been a few weeks Earth-time, though.” Taking his fork in hand, he tried a bite of the pie. It had at least four different types of fruit from what he could see—cherries, raspberries, strawberries, and peaches. It was amazing. Over the time they’d been talking, it had cooled slightly, but was still warm. “Holy shit, you two made this? It’s so good!” Without waiting for a response he took another bite. “Ancients, I miss Earth food when I’m gone so long. Jazz, can we get burgers tomorrow?”

“Of course, Danny. Has it really been that long for you? When was the last time you saw Sam and Tucker?”

Danny shrugged as he swallowed. “I’ve been out of contact with anyone for a month my-time. Grandpa had me on another planet doing time-stream stuff. But Sam and Tuck were with me in the Realms before that. We had about a week together and they saw me off.”

“I have so many questions based off that statement,” said Dick.

“I’m compiling a list, Dick,” said Tim from the other side of the table.

Alfred cleared his throat again and about half the table muttered a “sorry.”

“Now, Mr. Danny, for ice cream, I’ve made French vanilla and chocolate. Would you like to try one or both?”

“You made the ice cream? I don’t think I’ve ever had homemade ice cream before. Can I take some of both?”

“Of course. Master Jason, could you pass the ice cream to Mr. Danny?”

The wave of annoyance that radiated out of Jason told Danny exactly what he thought of that suggestion. Robin clucked his tongue in reproach. But out loud, Jason just said, “Of course.” He grabbed a covered bucket which must hold the ice cream and passed it to Jazz who gave it to Danny.

“Thanks, dead boyfriend number two!” With a grin, Danny sent back friends, gratitude, happiness to Jason. Just to be contrary.

Jason’s projections morphed into confusion, frustration.

Danny and Robin looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Mind explaining what’s so funny to the class?” asked Jazz with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

Rather than answer her directly, Danny spoke to Jason. “Hey, Jay, can I call you Jay? Well, we’re gonna be brothers-in-law so I’m gonna. You really need to work on controlling what emotions you’re projecting. Otherwise I might get hurt by how much you don’t trust me.” He pouted and played up the offense, but only held it for a second before opening the ice cream and giving himself a large scoop of each flavor. “Oh, Robin, you can eat the duck, by the way. Like a popsicle. Have dessert with us.”

“What do you mean projecting? And brothers-in-law?” demanded Jason.

Danny ignored him in favor of Robin who grinned widely and licked the head of the duck. Outwardly, he projected tasty, gratitude. To really push the point home, he popped the head of the duck in his mouth and used his now-free hands to sign something.

Dick translated, “He says it’s good.”

“Of course it is. He’s a baby ghost, needs his ecto!” Danny took a bite of ice cream.

Jazz cleared her throat and said in a conversational tone, “Danny, remember the conversation we had about spoilers?”

“Hmmm?” asked Danny around a spoonful of pie. It was so good.

“Spoilers, Danny. You’ve let some slip.”

“I have?” Danny thought back over the things he’d said recently and froze. “You and Jason aren’t engaged yet.”

Jazz closed her eyes and looked up. “No, Danny. We’re not.”

Danny flushed and rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry! Honest mistake. At least I haven’t told you how—”

Jazz slammed a hand over his mouth. “Don’t you dare, Daniel James! No spoilers!”

Danny grinned into her hand and licked her palm.

“Danny! Gross!” she cried as she pulled her hand away. “I know you have hand sanitizer in that bottomless pit of yours. Pass it over.”

As he was reaching into his bag, he noticed Robin had left his spot in front of Danny and moved until he was floating in front of Bruce where he seemed to be signing something. Cass stood up and took her plate, moving to sit next to Steph and Robin took her seat. The ghost smiled up at Bruce who looked back at him with a frown.

Danny sent out a pulse of concern, you okay?

Robin nodded. Happy, comfortable.

Ghosts couldn’t lie when they communicated with core-feelings, so Danny nodded and went back to searching for the hand sanitizer which he handed to Jazz.

Jason was back to staring at him, though. “Hey, Alfie? Can I ask Danny a question?”

Alfred let out a put-upon sigh. “You, and you alone”—he gave a look to everyone at the table—“may ask Mr. Danny a single question. All other questions must wait until Mr. Danny has finished his dessert and informs you he is willing to answer more of them.”

----------

Next

I just want to tell all of you how much I loved every comment demanding Danny get to eat his pie. You all really made my week.

Over the weekend, I shared a bit more of the fic where Danny and Tim were online childhood friends. Check it out if that's something you're interested in!

And I guess I didn't include line I shared as part of the tag game in this update. I'm trying to give myself more of a buffer in case I can't get as much writing done in the upcoming weeks, so the segments I share might by somewhat shorter.

Tag List Part 1

@addie-lover-of-stories, @justwannabecat, @gin2212, @amercurio, @regonold, @overtherose, @readerzj, @sjrose1216, @echoednonny, @deeterzz, @blu-lilac, @number-one-jew, @rowanaway-fromthisbs, @vythika96, @tired-yet-awaken, @themirrorghost, @emeraldcorpral, @all-mights-asscheeks, @darkhinauniverse, @blep-23, @phandomhyperfixationblog, @larkcoe1, @thegatorsgoose, @job-ross-the-second, @britcision, @lenacraft, @bubblemixer, @androgynouslordofescapism, @purefrickingspite, @leftmiraclechaos, @lizisipancardo, @starlight-sparks, @miraculousandmore, @gildedphoenix, @sometimesthingsfallapart, @letmesayfuxk, @phoenixcatch7, @skulld3mort-1fan, @abaowo, @dhampir-princess, @idkmrpianoman, @sarina-elais, @ballzfrog-blog, @undead-essence, @spookytragedyshark, @flyingpansaurus, @akintoabitch, @marivictal, @8-29pm, @justreadingthefanfics, @happybear135, @kisatamao, @spoopyspoony, @adorablechaos, @sara0055, @screamingtofillthevoid

[imagintheworldaway]

Moral of the story PT2

the long awaited sequel !

read part one here!

requests are open

Scrolling TikTok was usually a bit of a break for me. I had just finished filming a video with Lux and I was taking a break before I had a shower to scrub off my makeup and have a little self care evening. Everything was sweetly mind-numbing until a clip caught my eye. I turned up the volume as I saw an original clip from Harry and Is Vegas wedding. It was the clip of us leaving the chapel, me in my short baby doll white dress and veil longer than my actual dress, and Harry in a tieless suit with his top buttons undone. We were only teens in this clip, back when it was us two against the world. The clip cut and I saw Harry on screen. “It’s the hardest thing to talk about really” He said and then it cut to Ethan. “They were so in love, we were jealous, not only was it great content but it was so real” the screen then cut back to Harry. “What happened?” a voice said from behind the camera. “I don't know, she obviously wasn't happy, it broke my heart, i loved her, and she just threw it all the way, like it was nothing, like, how can you be so horrible, cruel, i-” Harry had started rambling before catching his tongue and the clip swapped back to SImon “she truly broke his heart, it hurt all of us” he said looking into the camera. And that's where the clip ended, and my rage started. Yes I asked for the divorce, but how was he not happy? How can he lie about me like that? None of them ever reached out to me, asking if I was ok, how the hell dare they. It had been over three years, the divorce was over and done with, we had talked through it so many times, we had talked to our friends, addressed the fans, even appeared together a handful of times in different videos. I thought we were all finally in a good place again. Obviously I was wrong.

The day was as bleak as my mood. I felt bad for anyone that saw me as I was contemplating murder right now. All I could see was red, and there was only one man I was going to aim this anger at. I had rang Talia and she had told me that the boys were filming at a studio I was all too familiar with. It was only a short walk from where I lived, I quickly turned my anger into determination as I mapped the streets in my head and my muscle memory almost flew me to the warehouse. I stormed through the door, I couldn’t care less if they were in the middle of a shoot. I had a score to settle. 

I stormed through, past the crew, people tried to stop me but no one had the chance. I stopped abruptly on the set but not quite in front of the cameras. They were shooting some type of game show but my rage just intensified when I saw my target. “You fucking arsehole” I shouted, my fists balled at my sides as I stood staring down my target. Everyone went silent and looked at me, most faces in pure shock to even see me. “Say something you twat, or did you say it all in your stupid fucking documentary” I spat in Harry’s direction. “Uh- I-“ he stuttered. I just stood there, staring daggers.

No one said anything, just watched like an old western movie, two people in a standoff. “I’m not leaving until I have answers, so keep staring” I said through gritted teeth. “Uh take five everyone” I heard Kon say somewhere to my left. Everyone stayed still for a moment, no one wanting to move first, before the crew started busying themselves and the other boys just stood there stunned. I waited as Harry took his time to walk over to me. “Can we do this outside? '' he said, not looking at me. “So chat shit about me to the entire world but can’t sort it in front of your mates, spineless dick” I snapped, “oh and none of you are off the hook either” i spat pointing my finger at all the boys. I grabbed Harry's forearm, spinning around and walking to the door. 

“Y/N I-“ he started before crumpling under my stare. “You what Harry? Thought you’d save yourself by slandering me?” I said “look at me, Atleast give me that” I said my voice faltering. “I thought we were cool, i thought you understood, i thought we had all figured this out” i had pleaded with him. “I didn't mean for it to come off like that” he sighed, “then what? How did you mean for it to come off, cause I've had so much hate already, I don't know if I can go through all of this again "I said, slinking back into myself a little. “Come on, I love you Y/N” he said, his voice strained as he reached for my arm. I jerked back, almost instinctively for a moment, seeing the hurt wash across his face as I let my emotions run free. “No, no, no. You do not deserve to say that to me” I seethed, starting to feel the tears prick at the corner of my eyes. “You hurt me” I spat, pointing my finger accusingly at Harry. He looked lost like a little puppy, and if I was still the woman he had married, I would have crumbled, apologised, and comforted him, telling him it was ok and we can forget this ever happened. But this time I cannot forget. “And you didn't hurt me?” he quipped back. “I never said i didn’t, the difference is you care so much about what your friends and fans think about you, about us, that it's easier to slander me just to make yourself out to be the good guy” the tears had slowed down now, but i can already guarantee my makeup is fully fucked. 

I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I gathered myself. “I loved you Harry, so fucking much. I thought you were it for me, you were my forever, but this, it turned so toxic, it turned into pleasing everyone but ourselves. And the fact that you still can't see that all these years later. Well, you need to let go, "I said, trying to get through to him. “And then what? I lose you forever?” He sounded so desperate and so unsure. “I don't know, but you need to let go, neither of us can grow if you don't” I almost pleaded with him. “Fine, i’ll try, but this won't happen overnight,” he sighed. “I know that, but please, if you really do still love me, try” it wasn’t a lot, but for now, these words will have to do. I quickly composed myself, turning back to a stoic version of myself, putting my guard back up “Just know, if you ever pull anything like that again, i will air all of our dirty laundry”

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Something I dislike about Chloe’s damnation is how her good actions never have that “selfish” part of them

My main examples is Zombisue and Queen wasp

She sacrificed herself to save ladybug and apologizes at the end, saving ladybug is selfless since she genuinely trusts ladybug will save them all (LIKE CHAT NOIR DOES, she’s doing the same chat does and is meant to and she doesn’t gain anything from apologizing since she already looks good in ladybug’s eyes for saving her

And in queen wasp she knows she’ll won’t be getting the miraculous back but she gives it up because of her devotion to ladybug

If the writers wanted to make her seem evil and selfish they would have given her something to gain out of this situations like money or fame, not the sympathy of her idol, is like the writers don’t know how to make actions have a selfish intentions to them and it shows with Marinette

Marinette has done this multiple times (for example she goes to Shanghai under the excuse of following Adrien which is extremely selfish) and the writers never seem to notice

I once read a fanfic called “bad for business” about a side villain of a show (which show ain’t important) not joining the main villains which invade he’s territory and basically plan to destroy the whole place.

The villain constantly makes deals and promises with selfish goals knowing full well most of he’s Allie’s might end up weakened, in Jail or dead at the end, and everything he does is selfish even if they aren’t flat out evil (I will help them in this turf war so they will help ME in this turf war, I will give them valuable information so they will destroy our mutual enemies for ME, I will kill this terrorist so I can frame it for the murder of another goon I murdered)

And the fan fic makes this clear every single scene, he does have good traits like caring for he’s partner and trying (emphasis on trying) to console a girl (which would have been he’s enemy in the canon show) after the two think a friend of hers died in front of their eyes but even till the end it’s shown how he’s never done a single selfless thing in the whole history and that’s why despite everything he did on the fic and what he wanted to achieve and by the means he did, he still rooted for him, because he was evil and nothing was hiding it (specially not the writer)

Meanwhile miraculous doesn’t know the difference between a selfish and selfless action, a fanfic does something better than miraculous, a fanfic of a series far worse than miraculous is more aware of good and evil than a children’s show

God I love ranting about miraculous mistakes and double standards

I feel like the writers have no idea what an anti-hero is, because characters are either completely perfect and can do no wrong, or they're complete monsters who are pure evil.

The show tries to write characters like Chloe, Gabriel, and Felix in a morally gray light, yet the writers always try to either downplay their actions or act like they've been good from the start.

The whole point of writing an anti-hero is that it allows you to explore stories in a way that differ from the usual moral paragons people are used to seeing in superhero media. These kind of characters usually find ways to accomplish their goals that don't allign with the beliefs we have. It makes us think about whether the ends justify the means, or how thin is the line between being a hero and being a villain.

But this show doesn't do that sort of thing. When a character does something, it's either good or bad, no matter the consequences it has. I'm not saying we need complex writing on the same level as Breaking Bad for this show, but if they're going to try and discuss topics like redemption for past deeds, you need to draw a line and show what kind of things are okay to do, what things aren't okay to do, and why actions are viewed in a certain way.

[system-of-a-feather]

hi, we're scared to tell our therapist we're a system, do you know how to heal at home? half our headmates think we're faking it and most of us don't have a lot of faith in authorities of any kind, but the symptoms are so annoying :(

Three chapters to this response (not sure if its actually three or if Ill remember all three main points, I'm just being flamboyant)

Chapter One - Communicating with a Professional

Honestly? While it is totally valid and it's not something you should rush into if you don't feel safe, my best advice would be to try to work up to telling your therapist in some way or form the reality of your symptoms as they are - even if not "I am a system" but just slowly drop the mask. If you don't relate to something you said before - whether its an alter or not - its fine to say so, same with memory gaps or anything.

You don't have to state you are a system or think you have DID to explain your issues to a therapist and have the real situation handled and discussed. I understand the fakies and I also understand distrusting authorities, but they are a professional and either they should be able to appropriately handle it, or there should be someone else in their place because you deserve care that you are capable of genuinely expressing your issues in so that you can address those issues.

DID recovery and treatment can be really difficult and sometimes dangerous without guidance so before anything else, I really would recommend trying to figure out a way you can at least communicate some of the aspects of the symptoms that are bothering you to your therapist and giving them a chance (unless there is a reason other than general distrust, to which if there is, then thats another story)

Chapter Two - The Fakies

TOTALLY understandable, been there done that (not meant to be disregarding) and honestly getting through the fakies is a journey in its own - but in regards to that specific topic, I did want to say some food for thought that might be unpopular, but honestly?

Who cares if you are faking.

Genuinely. I don't even mean "are confused" but like, actually genuinely trying to force yourself to present as separate people to cope with whatever you've been through. What are you doing that's so horrible? As long as you aren't spewing dangerous miss information, if it helps you, I really honestly don't care nor do I think its my business to tell you to stop (within the realm of dangerous topics and safety).

And to be honest? Any good therapist shouldn't care either.

If you are faking, you have something you are trying to cope with and are not doing well - you still have an issue to address and you are allowed to go through the phases of healing. If you aren't faking but feel like you are faking, you still have something to work through. Discussing your symptoms as they are will eventually get you down to the root of whatever is going on and you'll either outgrow it and find better coping mechanisms, or you won't and you'll get your real issue handled.

Personally, realizing that even if I was 'faking' - as long as I wasn't spreading harmful information - there was literally no real genuine moral consequence or whatever to expressing my mental illness in a form like DID really let me stop worrying about it.

If you are faking, what does that REALLY change? If you are confused, what does that REALLY change? If you are a system, what does that REALLY change? In the end you still have an issue that needs to be talked about and worked through and healing and recovery is a process that is going to be worth it albeit ugly in the process cause healing is Just Like That.

I really hate the notion "You would know it if you are faking" and "If you question if you are faking, you aren't" cause that shit just doesn't help cause as someone who was there, you just go "yeah deep down I do know" and it just makes shit worse. I prefer "if you are faking its whatever, what harm are you doing to any one in the NOT ONLINE world"

If your symptoms are distressing you as they are, they are distressing you and you have a right to mention it. The only difference is where the root stands when you investigate it professionally.

Chapter Three - Answering the Damn Question

Anyways, to answer the main question asked, assuming we take this ask and question's preface as unchanging unfixable situations and you want to completely ignore everything above (fair and valid) - most of what OP and I said here would apply as it is the general theme of recovery with DID imo

Past that, I would recommend steering clear from addressing and trying to process trauma unless it come to you. I am personally of the opinion that intentionally seeking out trauma processing without a professional to help you when you have DID can be a risky game to play and as someone that's done a lot of healing, it is UBER important to "clear" what is known as the Stabilization Phase before getting deep into the trauma.

The Stabilization Phase is essentially focusing on a few things:

Establishing basic self care and coping skills

Establishing something of an external support system around you

Establishing something of a stable enough living situation (or as much as you can at the moment)

Lessening stressors that you can lessen at the moment

Reviewing your current friendships, coping mechanisms, and behaviors to see what is helping you and what it hurting you

Getting to understand yourself and selves - ie knowing who you are and your skills, drives and dynamics, then having that done for a handful of regular fronters

Getting to know and building communication with parts of your system

Building trust and synergies with those parts to be able operate with them

Generally building a sense of safety within the parts internally and externally as a way to build up resilience and prepare yourself (as a whole) for stress, trials, and trauma

Typically, you would want to have a decent progress on all of those before intentionally diving into hard trauma processing and building all of that can take a while to do.

Of course this isn't to say repress trauma and trauma holding parts - if trauma comes to you, its a good opportunity to work on building that list of things as the actively surfacing trauma tends to be relevant to parts or your current living situation that could use improvement or deeper understanding of.

This is more to say to let sleeping dragons lie - ie, if the trauma doesn't come to you and isn't howling, don't wake it up. If there is no trauma, if you can't remember the trauma, cool - take it as a blessing for now and focus on understanding the big picture and helping improve your life better.

As for some ways and things to do to help build some of those?

Figure out what kinds of things you would like to do in your life or just things you would like to do in general

Figure out what matters to you, what do you value above other things

Interact with your social webs and people around you and see what works and what doesn't, what makes you feel good, what makes you feel bad, what is triggering and what isn't and work to fine tune who you spend your time around

Work on any self sufficiency stuff you are able to work on (physically, time, emotionally, etc there are limits and work with where you are)

Try to communicate with your parts and the IMPORTANT part of this is to just have fun with it. Trauma and DID is enough pain as it is, be silly, have fun, play games and try to go on dates (platonic or not) with yourself. Poke fun with yourself / among yourselves. Tease one another. Make inside jokes. BE CRINGE ITS FINE. ITS FREEING

Try to make friends with at least one part and build that relationship well and then try to branch out and keep doing this

Keep an open mind and a large amount of patience when dealing with any part - especially if they are causing problems or being Mentally Ill TM. Unforuntately most parts are going to be "stupid" in their own way and its important to accept each parts faults while focusing on their strengths

Once you know those part's strengths and weaknesses, try to lean on the unique strengths each have to cover eachother's weak points and - if possible - take a weakness and try to convert it to a strength. This varies from part to part so I can't get much more specific than that plus, honestly, Team Curation as Ray calls it is Coach Ray's job as he does most of that stuff in our brain so me talking about it is a bit abvove my pay grade

Just really

Have. Fun.

Shits bad enough and hard enough with healing and recovery. At home? Just try to enjoy the moments of peace when they come and have fun with your parts and just try to live your life when you are given breaks from the waves of symptoms.

Anyways. That's a bit of my take on the thing and some tips.

TLDR though?

Try to find a way to talk to your therapist honestly if you can, whether you are faking or not really doesn't matter in my opinion, and just have fun and live your life to the best of your ability.

[monstrousproductions]

I would listen to a audio drama about "your boy jonah" but also, tell me about your boy! Here is a free space to ramble. Please info-dump.

Free space to ramble?! Don't mind if I do!

So, in case anyone is unfamiliar with the story of Jonah, it begins with Jonah minding his business and suddenly being called upon by God to go to Ninevah [the capital city of the Assyrian empire] to call them out for their sins. Instead, Jonah seals his place in my heart by running away from God.

I just find it so immediately endearing that his reaction to being given a divinely ordained job to do is to absolutely nope the fuck out and run for the hills. It's not just hilarious, but it also feels so honest? Like yeah sometimes we know rightly what we're supposed to do, either because of the leading of the spirit or because of our own morals, and sometimes it's fucking terrifying!!

So he runs away, he gets on a boat to sail off to Far Off Lands (poss. southern Turkey) and obviously... God knows. Because it's God. You can't just duck behind a tree and suddenly God forgets you're there lol And God is big mad and sends a storm that threatens to break the ship into matchsticks. The sailors are terrified - I imagine them as these hardened sea-faring men who are used to all sorts of things, and this storm is so fierce they're absolutely terrified.

And Jonah... is fast asleep. Conked the fuck out on one of the lower decks, like he isn't moments from being smithereened. Running away from God is a tiring business, I guess! Also, as a chronic procastinapper, I can't help feeling like he just felt like he had too much on his plate and decided napping is way less scary that That Whole Mess.

So the captain drags him up and demands that he pray to his god because clearly the gods of the sailors are not paying attention lol But they also want to know where the storm came from and why, so they draw lots to see who's to blame? And of course Jonah draws the short straw.

And then this bit I imagine Jonah being super sheepish about OK. Because in this era and place, it was quite normal to accept that other people's gods were real and powerful, but they just weren't your gods. But different gods have different areas of power, so the sailors ask Jonah who his god is. And very grudgingly, Jonah admits that ummm yeah ok so actually his god is... the one who created the sea and the land.

And I imagine there's this moment of absolute silence as these sailors take in the fact that this guy has pissed his god off and who's his god again? Oh yeah, only the one who MADE THE OCEAN which is currently trying to KILL THEM.

"So they picked up Jonah and hurled him into the sea."

But Jonah doesn't drown! God sends a fish to swallow him up, and he sits in the fish for three days and prays while he's in there, because actually all things considered it was pretty neat of God to send a fish to swallow him instead of letting him drown and he's like "I think maybe I have got close enough to death and I would like to stop having an adventure now and go back to being all the way alive."

Which is very cool having his time in the fish being this sort of pseudo-death? Like he was getting a little taste of it. And he even talks about it as being in Sheol, and being out of sight of God and longing to be alive and back where God can see him.

So God tells the fish to vomit him up and tells Jonah again to go to Ninevah, which this time he does! It's a huge city, it takes three days to walk across it, but Jonah made a promise and he sticks to it. He walks and talks and the city repents and God relents from whatever punishment he was going to send.

Which, in a turn that never fails to touch my heart, makes Jonah... absolutely fucking livid. He is so mad about this decision. He's like, "I fucking knew it!! I knew you weren't going to smite these fuckers!" and God is like ??? excuuuuse me ???

And Jonah - I love him so much - he storms off, he stomps out of Ninevah and builds himself a little hu and he sits in his hut and he stares at the city, wishing hellfire and damnation on everyone in it, and sulking like nobody on earth. He is raging and I love it.

But it's the fucking Assyrian desert, it's hot as balls and even in his wee hut, Jonah's got the sun beating down on him. And God makes this plant grow next to him for shade, which Jonah is pretty pleased about - until the next morning, God sends a worm that attacks the plant and kills it. And also throws in some scorching winds and fiery sun for good measure.

And Jonah's lying there about to pass out and he's like, "I would literally rather be fucking dead" and then we get my favourite exchange in the whole Bible:

But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”

“It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”

I just love it!! He's having none of it! He is furious and he is feeling more righteous and miserable than any angsty teenager ever could and he's telling God straight out, "You have pissed me off like nobody has ever pissed anyone off before" and I love him so much!!

And God points out that he's that angry about the plant dying, which he didn't even grow or tend to, but somehow it's not fair for God to not be particularly keen on destroying an entire megatropolis full of people and animals who by the way God is responsible for and cares for? Double standards much? And the book ends! It's made its point and off it fucks.

Also there's a bit at the end there where it describes the thousands and thousands of people in Ninevah as "not knowing which is their left hand and which is their right" which I assume is a metaphor for not knowing right from wrong but which I also just love as such a read. Like, "Really? You expect me not to look after these people? Look at them. They're morons, Jonah. They're the kind of morons who would think, oh, I don't know, that they could hide from God in a boat."

I just love how angry Jonah is, and how afraid, and how human! And I love that he has this sassy back and forth with God and that he gets angry at God and argues and has to get put in a fish for a time out. It feels like such a close, bickering sort of relationship and I think the world would be a better place if more people felt like they could look God in the eye and say, "YES! I AM ANGRY!! I AM SO ANGRY I COULD DIE!!!"

[superkooku]

Maomao's family is awesome (part 1 : the dads)

I just watched the final episode of the anime.

I loved this conclusion, as well as the series overall. That's why I want to talk about one of my favorite parts of the series. While Maomao herself is a great protagonist, I find that some characters also deserve to be talked about.

Overall, KNH's secondary cast manages to be interesting. Each character is tied to the story's central theme and are quite complex (the tertiary cast is more one-dimensional, but it's expected).

But my favorite part of the cast is Maomao's family in general. They weren't that present in the beginning and their inclusion surprised me a bit. It's a different side of Maomao that I enjoyed seeing explored.

Luomen :

Maomao's relationship with Luomen is so adorable !

It's actually great to see her (openly) care about someone for a change, instead of only poisons and medication. We see her trying to help him get customers (like when Lihaku caught a cold) and distraught to learn he was banned from the palace.

She's very grateful towards him and it's easy to see why. He's patient, understanding and very skilled. I mean, the guy could study abroad, that was considered a rare offer for the most skilled. He taught her everything and thus, it justifies her advanced knowledge.

Overall, Luomen is a sweet man who would surely be very successful if he was more business savy (could he borrow some greed from the Old lady ?). I hope his finantial situation will better itself in the future, maybe by returining in the palace.

More about him in this article I found on the net.

Lakan

Omg, I did NOT expect to like Lakan as much as I did. Initially a very mysterious character, the reader/watcher slowly gets to know more about him. He challenges our main characters in a playful way, hiding his intentions behind a smile.

Seeing how disgusted by him Maomao was, I thought he did some truly morally low act, so I was kinda weary too. But... these last episodes totally changed how I perceive him. I'm SO glad I didn't spoil myself this part of the story.

The best way I could express the difference between my initial impression and the new one is the way he sees people.

I initially thought that him seeing people as go pieces represented his manipulative side, that he saw himself as the chessmaster, playing everyone else as he pleases.

While that isn't completely false, as this talent in chess was closely tied to Lakan became such a good strategist (to him at least), it isn't showcasing any bad intention on his part. He geniuenly struggles to differentiate people's faces, it's a handicap, not an ego thing.

Ironically enough, Lakan seems to be a quite clumsy man at times. He's (almost) unbeatable in go and is very capable of coming up with complicated plans, but falls short on a lot of other things, mostly his personal life and loved ones... kinda like Maomao and her skills as an apothecary.

He even got to get around his handicap thanks to his passion for go, seeing faces as different pieces instead of blurriness. The series could've just gone with the first interpretation : "Lakan is a way better strategist than anyone else, the puppetmaster (or so he thinks)". But it didn't.

The parallels between these two are so interesting that I could make a whole rant about it. Their relationship is, ultimately, a bit tragical : Lakan, contrary to a LOT of fiction fathers, didn't die or just go to buy milk on purpose. He was forced to go. Maomao recognizes he's not that horrible either, but... it's just too late. She can't see him as a father since Luomen is the one who took care of her. A complex story behind a simple explanation.

And his relationship with Fengxian... wow ! That was touching ! I never saw Lakan getting so emotional for anything, really. He seems to sincerely love her. That made him sympathize for him even more.

Edit : got more stuff for Lakan ! I forgot when he helped Maomao to get past the guard !!! The death glare he gave at that time was really intimidating... that guard is fucked, isn't he? Getting both the strategist AND Jinshi upset is not a good thing.

Speaking of Jinshi, this little rivalry between them is, so far, very simple but efficient. Yes, the trope of the dad who hates the boyfriend is cliche, but since Lakan CAN'T take care of Maomao and can't win her love, of course he's jealous of the guy who she lets near her. And he probably also feels protective about her too.

(don't worry, dude, Maomao is not fawning over the local pretty boy 😅. She's way more into poison, sake and bezoar than Jinshi.)

It's fortunate he's not jealous of Luomen, probably because they're related and he knows how good that man is. No danger here.

I'll make a part 2 about Fengxian, the other courtesans at the Verdigris palace and some conclusion later.

Meanwhile, some pictures :

[tamelee]

Hii tamelee! If I remember correctly, you’re studying storytelling, is that right? I wondered if you could explain in details what kind of school you’re going, or just what exactly you are doing in your studies? If it’s okay with you of course 😊

Have a good day :)

Hi~! Yeah, sure! 

I did marketing, (communication and entertainment), but then finished audiovisual and graphic design because I liked that much better than learning about how manipulative the industries are tbh. Unfortunately, I found out quickly, that pretty much every job in that industry has been taken over by AI and that even me learning how to draw wasn’t going to help me with that anymore either 🥲. Then, I continued doing Storytelling in the communication sector (where, yet again I learned about all the ways people are being manipulated -.-) because it’s quite a new official study. And then, I was accepted to apply for the program that focusses more on fiction— and got in. Which I’m doing right now (though I’m almost done).  

In short, what I learned about Storytelling in business is that organizations use the elements of fictional storytelling combined with science (both internally and externally) in order to influence and convince the attitude, knowledge and behavioral patterns for the right audiences that are targeted by a certain communication goal. That goes so far that even the science about our brains are dissected to figure out the best ways in which the organization can redirect your neurotransmitters and hormones to benefit the storyteller. Even if you know you’re being manipulated, (for example, through a commercial that’s shamelessly stomping on your morals through a guilt-trip, or a product in the store that’s obnoxiously being shoved in front of you), often it’s still about targeting your subconscious and trust me when I say that if you enjoy spending time on the internet, it happens to you all the time and you don’t even know it :D 

And yes, companies like shueisha/VIZ are masters in this as well— hence me disappointingly complimenting that skill at times.  

So, imagine my joy when I crossed the bridge toward fiction. 

Fictional storytelling is where I dissect not the science of a human brain exactly, but the story that’s being told. I have to figure out all the elements and literary devices that are being used and what they mean in the story. Not what it means to me, but finding meaning through the Theme the author/creator has used, and why. It’s about how a story is structured and what impacts people on an emotional level for their benefit (mostly). Why a story works and keeps you up all night, why others are usually almost always forgotten quickly. It’s not as subjective as people may think. Interpretation doesn’t mean much unless there’s intentionally room for it. (And when something is intentional or when it’s not.) There’s also science in its logic, but that’s not something most authors/creators focus on. And they really shouldn’t have to imo. It’s also knowing about character arcs and how to implement symbolism and motifs effectively. I have to write essays on movies and books or even TED talks. It’s using knowledge to figure out the why, what and how. 

I think it’s awesome as a study, but other than some creative writing lessons, it won’t help me with great prose. It’s hard for me to connect with my own emotions and body which is something a lot of great authors can do really well. Either naturally or having to have practiced the connection with their personal emotional intelligence in order to write their Truth in their own authentic way through their characters. I read many books outside of my study from scriptwriters as well which were helpful. None of it is any reassurance I’ll be able to write my own story effectively though. It’s more a guideline of sorts with knowledge and structure which a neurodivergent like me (yes, I’m diagnosed officially) really needs xD. I still have to practice a lot! ^^  Hope you have a good day as well 🌷!

[musings-of-a-rose]

Jump Then Fall - Part 2

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc “Vanessa Morales”

Word Count: 5100+

Rating: M for mature - 18+ only!

Warnings: Please be aware there is an 11 year age gap. Mature themes and some canon mentioned. Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: This one doesn’t have any Javier, but I promise the rest of them will! When the story starts, Vanessa is 19 and Javier is 30.

**Shoutout to @vanemando15 for listening and bouncing ideas from me, for holding my hand, and for her guidance with being a Latina herself. Without her, this wouldn’t even be a thing, just another line on my WIP spreadsheet. And also to my husband, who is also Latino and answered any questions I had (along with taking me to Colombia back in 2014). And to @wyn-n-tonic, who listened to my rambles and insecurities about writing an oc in first person.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

Jump Then Fall Masterlist

General Masterlist

Javier Peña Masterlist

<<Part 1<<

The drive back to Corpus Christi was uneventful, although my thoughts were anything but. Memories of the night before kept flashing through my mind, the way he touched me, made me feel, the way his nose just barely skirted across my skin, the way he nipped at my chin. The care he gave me and how he took his time when he found out I was inexperienced, rather than running away. There was much more to Javier Peña than what was on the surface, one quick glance into his deep brown eyes was enough to convince me of that. Which made me sad, considering I’d never see him again. 

I blink and I’m in the driveway, putting the car into park. I have no memory of the drive here, which is slightly terrifying. But before I can think any more on that, my mother comes running out of the house, taking my face in her hands and saying a quick prayer in Spanish to bless my safe return before kissing me on both cheeks. It’s then she looks over my shoulder and realizes no one else is in the car with me.

“Did you drive alone, mija?”

Time to lie. “No. I dropped off some people just past Laredo.”

Her face relaxes. “Oh good. I’m glad you made friends.” She claps her hands together. “Come! Tell us all about your trip while you help me with dinner.”

I tell my parents all about my time in Mexico, how I not only taught English but helped to build the church and the school house, how I made some friends and how others got called to another mission.

“The university wants to talk to me tomorrow and talk about the summer. To see if they should continue the program.”

My dad smiles at me. “We are so proud of you, mi niña. Setting such a good example to others.”

“Speaking of good examples…Miguel is still single.”

“Mami!” I blush, heat rising up my cheeks at the mention of Miguel. She had been trying to get us together for years, but neither of us had feelings beyond friendship. 

She points at me. “Miguel es un buen muchacho [Miguel is a good boy]. When will you see that and go on a date with him? I want nietos already.”

I groan. “Mami! I’m not ready for kids right now.”

She looks at me, waving her hand. “No entiendo Vanessa [I don’t understand] . By your age, I was already engaged to your father.”

—-

My life settled back into its normal monotonous routine: class, job, home, sleep. Repeat. I never realized exactly how boring my life was until I had spent the summer in Mexico. 

More like, until I spent the night with Javier.

I wonder where he is now. Is he still on his business trip? It’s been just over a month since we had our…meet. I got the feeling he was going to be gone for a while and that he either wouldn’t or couldn’t talk about it. Maybe he’s a spy? I chuckle at the thought. Wherever he is, I hope he’s doing well. 

Based on my report, the university decides to repeat the program the following summer with new teachers and asks me to give a little seminar on what I did, what to expect, what to pack, and everything that I think they should know. I have to admit, it was nerve wracking getting up in front of everyone. I felt nauseous all day thinking about getting on that stage and talking. But everyone was interested and asked great questions, immediately putting me at ease. My professors thanked me for everything and said they’d be in touch with me about possibly returning the next summer. I’d never really thought about going back, but the thought is definitely tempting. 

And maybe I can stop in Laredo on the way back. No, Vanessa. It was a one time thing. You’re probably making up the connection you felt. There’s no way he felt anything for you. 

—-

A couple months later, my mom calls me down to the kitchen where she’s gathering up her purse, a paper list in her hand. 

“Do you need anything from the store, mija?” 

“I don’t think so. Just….maybe no pork? I can’t stand the smell of it now.”

My mom chuckles. “Mexico really changed you. Carnitas used to be your favorite.”

Even just the thought of pork, which I hadn’t had the entire time I was in Mexico, made my stomach churn. 

“I guess I just got used to not eating it a few times a week.”

She nods and then looks around. Spotting no one, she leans in close to me and nearly whispers. “Do you need more…lady things?”

I furrow my eyebrows together. What is she - oh. My mom was always sort of embarrassed by periods, and so, if she had to talk about it, she would always whisper, afraid anyone would hear her talk about something that is experienced by arguably more than half the planet. 

“Uh, no. I don’t think so?”

“You haven’t gotten any more since Mexico. Do you still have some?”

“Uh…let me check.”

I go upstairs and into my bathroom, kneeling to open the under the sink cabinet. I shuffle some things around and grab the boxes of pads I had put back when I returned from Mexico. There’s a bunch left, almost as if I hadn’t used any since I got back.

Had I used any since I got back?

I close the doors and head back to my mom, telling her I was still good with pads. She looks slightly relieved at not having to traverse the feminine hygiene isle, giving me a small smile and squeezing my shoulder. 

“When I get back, I’ll need help with dinner.”

I don’t mind helping with dinner, as I do like to eat, but I wish she’d stop asking me about Miguel. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Miguel was now dating Maria - they just weren’t telling anyone yet. I wasn’t supposed to know either, but I went into the church storeroom one day to grab a few extra Bibles and I saw them making out. Which immediately made me think of Javier, the place between my thighs tingling at the mere thought of his name. I wish I knew more about him- no, Vanessa. Don’t go down that path any more.

“...you invite Miguel over after church?”

“Hhmm?” I hadn’t been listening to anything my mom had been saying.

“Miguel. Why don’t we invite him to our after church lunch?”

“Uh..no. Miguel won’t want to do that.”

She looks at me out of the corner of her eye as she continues chopping.. “And why not? You are a beautiful girl, smart. You would have good babies-”

“He’s already with Maria, mom.”

She stops chopping and looks at me. “Maria?”

“Delgado.”

“Ay. That girl is bad news.”

“Miguel seems to like her.”

“Ah, well..men can be blind.”

—-

“We’re going to be late, mija! Hurry up!”

“Just a minute!” I yell, desperately trying to zip up my church dress. 

I wear this one often but it had been a few weeks and for some reason, the zipper won’t budge. I let out a puff of air in frustration, yanking the dress back down my body. Now that the dress is off my body, I look at the zipper, seeing no fabric stuck in it. I try to zip it closed and it glides easily up. 

“Oh sure. Now you want to zip.”

I toss it on my bed, turning back towards my closet when I catch sight of myself in the mirror. I stand there in my bra and underwear, looking at my body. Did I…did I gain weight? I haven’t changed my eating. If anything, I’ve been eating less. I turn to the side, my hands gliding over the skin on my lower stomach. I can see a small pooch there and I grunt in confusion. How did I gain weight if I’ve been avoiding so much food? 

“Vanessa!”

I poke my head out of my door. “I’m not feeling well, mom. I’m going to stay home.”

She pauses. “You shouldn’t miss church.”

“I don’t want to get everyone sick.”

She pauses again and I swear I can hear her nod. “Ok. We will be back after lunch. I’ll bring you back some soup.”

“Thanks, mom.”

I hear the door downstairs close, the car pulling out of the driveway and driving off down the road. I wait about 15 minutes before I pull on whatever clothes I can find that fit me, grabbing my wallet and keys before getting in my car. I have to get some stomach medicine or something. I head to the pharmacy, thankful that the people I know who work here are all at church. I don’t want anyone to see me buying medicine to stop me throwing up my insides. I scan the rows of bottles for the ones for upset stomach. I grab one, flipping the box over for directions, my lips moving with the words as I read them.

“.....as long as symptoms persist. If symptoms worsen or do not improve after 3 days, call your doctor right away. Do not use if pregnant or breastfeeding. May cause interactions with certain medications…”

I freeze, my eyes rewinding the words I just read.

“Do not use if pregnant or breastfeeding….pregnant…pregnant…”

My brain kicks into high gear, and I stare at the bottle, not really seeing it. The boxes of pads that were sitting unused from my time in Mexico still sit unused under my sink. My aversion to foods I normally loved. The fact I can only keep about half of my food down. The weight gain despite this. My lower belly…my hand instinctively comes up to my belly, placing my hand there for a moment as panic starts to set in.

Could I be…no. Javier used a condom. He showed me as he did it. That’s supposed to prevent…prevent…

I grip the bottle of medicine in my hand, knuckles going white. Slowly, I turn and head out of the isle, looking for the one with the women’s products. I turn it down, grateful that it’s empty. I stand in front of the pads, pretending I’m looking for some while my eyes scan down the rows of pregnancy tests. It’s all overwhelming and I can feel the panic rising rapidly in my body. I quickly grab a box at random, hiding it under my arm as I make my way up to the register. No one is in line and I don’t know the cashier. I place the bottle of medicine and the pregnancy test on the counter, looking around nervously for anyone I may know. If the cashier thought anything of my purchase, they didn’t show it, scanning the items and quickly placing them in a bag as I handed them cash. 

When I get home, I run upstairs, locking my bathroom door behind me just in case my parents come back early. My parents. What am I going to say to them? One step at a time, Vanessa. You may just have some weird stomach thing. I take a breath and open the bag, setting the bottle down on the counter and pulling out the small box of pregnancy tests. I throw up once more before opening the box and pulling out the directions, reading them several times through tear blurred vision. I somehow manage to pee on the stick, setting it aside and looking at my watch to check the time. 

This has got to be the slowest 3 minutes of my life. 

When I check my watch and it’s finally time, I take a deep breath before…taking another deep breath. And then I flip the test over. 2 bright pink lines stare up at me and I hold the stick against the directions comparing them. Double lines means pregnant. Pregnant. I’m pregnant. 

I drop the stick, sinking down to the floor as I put my back against the wall. How am I pregnant? I only ever had sex with Javier and that was only one time. And he wore one of those condoms. Aren’t they supposed to stop people from having babies? Wait, if I’ve been pregnant since then, I’m like 3 months along. I should be making a doctor’s appointment. What doctor can I go to that doesn’t know my parents? 

My parents.

There’s no way I’m going to be able to hide a baby from them. How do I explain it? Hey mom, dad. I met a stranger in Laredo and we had sex and now I’m pregnant even though he wore a condom. 

What do I do?

—--

I spent the next 2 weeks trying to figure out what I was going to do. I wasn’t sure how my parents would react, considering they did want grandkids. But there’s no way they’re going to approve of this baby. In case of the worst, I start gathering up little things here and there - a few random pieces of clothes, the toiletry kit I had brought to Mexico, some little trinkets. I managed to sneak them down to my car, leaving them in the trunk in case I had to leave quickly. I really hope it didn’t come to that. But when I could no longer zip up my favorite pair of pants, I knew I had to tell them. 

We all sit down to dinner, mom passing out plates and filling my papá’s plate with a large portion of food. Once everyone is settled, and grace is said, I clear my throat, my mom glancing up at me as she picks up her fork. 

“I uh…I have to tell you something.”

My papá spears some food on his fork and takes a bite, chewing as he turns his head towards me, a questioning look on his face. 

“Did that Miguel finally get rid of Maria?” My mom asks.

“What? No. I don’t know? That’s not-”

“I knew that girl was trouble. Always showing off in choir. You know, her mom said she got some fancy scholarship to a music school, but here she is, still here. I wonder why-”

“Mami. I need to say something.”

“-why she’s still here? She probably stayed for that boy. Maybe it’s good-”

“MAMI!”

“-good that Miguel didn’t ask Vanessa out. Maybe he’s no good-”

“I’m pregnant.”

Silence. You could hear the grass growing outside it’s so quiet. My parents stare at me, the fork halfway to my papá’s open mouth. 

“What?” My mom asks.

I hesitate a moment. “I’m…I’m pregnant.”

“That’s not funny, Vanessa. Don’t you joke about something like this. You know I don’t like the humor you young people think is funny.”

I look down at my plate before looking back at her. “I’m not…I’m not joking.”

Silence again. No movement. But I can feel the disappointment, the anger building in them.

“I’m about…3 months? I think?”

Still silence.

“I only just found out.” I cast my eyes down, looking at my plate of untouched food and realize that half of it I actually want to eat, while the other half makes me want to run to the bathroom. 

“Salga [Get out].” He says it quietly, but his tone has layers of anger, hurt, and disappointment all trying to bubble out.

I look up, surprised that it’s my papi saying it. 

“What?”

“Salga. Yo no te quiero en esta casa. [Get out. You are no longer welcome in this house].”

“But papi-”

“Don’t! Largarte!  Now.”

I glance at my mom, who has tears in her eyes. She gives me a look of utter disgust and looks away from me, showing her support of her husband’s decision. 

I stand, pushing the chair away from the table. “Can I just grab some thing-”

“You should have thought of that before you opened yourself up for a man. What were you thinking? You are no longer a daughter of mine!”

My papi’s words slice through me like butter, stabbing me so hard that tears start to fall before I even know they’re there. I walk to the front door, pausing only to put on my shoes before getting in my car and driving about a block before I sit at the stop sign. I knew deep down this may be their reaction, which is why I started packing my trunk. But it still hurts. I need my parents right now, but…

Where do I go?

I turn left, driving a few blocks to knock on my friend Ximena’s door. But instead of my friend, her mom comes to the door, a stern look on her face as she shoos me away, telling me I’m not welcome in their home. I’m met with the same reaction at the next 3 places I go and I realize that my parents must have called everyone we knew to tell them not to let me in, that I had done something so terrible. I doubt they told anyone the truth, that their only child was unwed, single, and pregnant, but our church community is so strong, they apparently didn’t need more than my parent’s word to kick me out. 

I stop at a little diner across town, a burger actually sounding really good to me. As I eat, I think about what to do next. It’s getting late, and while I could rent a hotel room, I won’t have enough money to do that for very long. I have no friends left in Corpus Christi, that much is clear. So…where do I go? As I eat and let the tears fall, I think about that night, about Javier. And I realize, there’s only one place left for me to go, even if it’s just until I get on my feet. I finish eating, leaving money on the table for the bill and tip, and head out to my car. It’s a 4 hour drive there, which I can’t do in the dead of night. I drive to the highway and find the closest motel, getting a room for the night that I can cry myself to sleep in.

—----

The next day, I start the drive to Laredo, oddly calm considering the situation. I can do this next step - get to Laredo. I’ll ask around for Javier and see if anyone knows where he lives. I don’t expect anything from him, and I’ll tell him as much. But I would appreciate a place to stay while I figure out where to go next. 

After a few bathroom stops, I finally make it to Laredo, finding the bar I had met Javier in that night. It’s not open for a few hours, so I take that time to have some lunch and a short nap in my car, waking to the sound of the main door closing. I walk up to it and push it open, walking inside. The bartender is cleaning down the bar, getting things set up for the rush in a few hours.

“Excuse me?”

He turns to me, wiping out the glass in his hand.  “Yes, ma’am?”

“I’m looking for a Javier Peña? He’s about this tall-”

The bartender chuckles. “I know Javier. Haven’t seen him in a bit though.”

“Oh.”

The bartender seems to sense my despair and he sets the now clean glass down. “Look, his dad lives on a farm just outside of town. I’ll give you the address and maybe he can tell you where Javier is.” He scribbles down an address on a napkin and hands it to me, giving me a small smile. 

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

—-

I pull up to the Peña farm about 40 minutes later, after the bartender had given me some general directions. It’s not a large farm but it’s not small either, and I think I can see a river in the far distance. I park in front of the farmhouse and get out, smoothing out my dress before walking to the front door and knocking. At first, no one answers. But then I hear clanging coming from the barn around back, so I head in that direction, poking my head just inside the barn door.

“Excuse me?”

The man in the barn stops hammering and turns quickly to look at me, hammer slightly raised in defense. He’s older, a nearly all white mustache with matching hair poking out from under a white cowboy hat, glasses poised on the edge of his nose. His eyes remind me of Javier’s and I realize this must be his dad. 

“You must have taken a wrong turn, señorita. Town is several miles that way.” He points and I give him a small smile.

“Actually…are you señor Peña?”

He studies me for a moment. “Depends. Which Peña are you looking for?”

“Javier’s papá?”

He looks at me, trying to figure out why I would be here talking to him. “He’s not here.”

“Not back from his business trip?”

He shakes his head. “No.”

“Any idea when he will be back?

“No. Probably not anytime soon.”

I nod, my face falling slightly. 

“Can I help you with anything?”

“I uh…I’m not sure. Maybe this was a stupid idea.”

I turn to leave, willing the tears that had been building in my eyes to not fall.

“Wait.”

I stop, looking up at the older Peña. His eyes glance down towards my belly, where I had unconsciously placed my hand. A look of realization washes over him and his kind eyes meet mine, an odd expression in them.

“How old are you?”

“N..nineteen.”

He swears, glancing up at the ceiling before back at me, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. “He’s the father?”

I nod, looking down at the dirt covered floor.

“You’re sure?”

I blus, not able to meet his gaze. “He’s the only one I..I’ve ever…”

He puts his hand up. “Ok ok. I understand.” He takes a deep breath and lets it out. “Are you hungry?”

That was not what I was expecting. “Oh I…I don’t expect anything.”

He smiles and it reaches his eyes, instantly calming me. “You’re not an inconvenience, you’re the mother of my only grandchild. Come.”

He waves his hand for me to follow him, placing the hammer down on his workbench before we head to the main house. It’s a 2 story farm house, sparsley decorated with furniture that he most likely got when Javier was born. It’s worn but well loved and I instantly feel a sense of safety, despite never having been here. He leads me into the kitchen and has me sit at the little island bar while he makes me a simple sandwich, asking me what I’m not eating and what is safe. He slides me a glass or orange juice, saying it was fresh squeezed and good for the vitamin c. I take it, thanking him while I try not to inhale the food, not having eaten in several hours. Chucho clears his throat and I swallow the last bite of my sandwich, looking at him as I take a sip of the juice.

“Did you tell him?”

I set the glass down, spinning it counterclockwise for a moment. “No. I only found out a couple of weeks ago.”

He nods. “How far along?”

“Around 3 and a half months?”

“Have you been to a doctor?”

I shake my head. “Like I said, I only found out a couple weeks ago and my parents kicked me out when they found out so…”

He swears under his breath. “We need to get you to a doctor.”

“I don’t have the money for that. I don’t have the money for anything. Oh God, I don’t have money! How am I going to…to…”

Tears start flowing out of nowhere, uncontrollable as I sob at this man’s table. Chucho comes to stand next to me, turning my body to hug me as he lets me sob into his shirt. He makes calming sounds, telling me everything will be fine. That I’m not alone. 

“But…but I am alone, Chucho.”

“Not anymore. You have me.”

I look up at him, blinking away the last of my tears. “Oh no, I couldn’t-”

“What did I say earlier? You’re the mother of my only grandchild. Can I assume you have nowhere to stay?”

“I’m ok in my car.”

He gives me a stern look. “That won’t do. You’ll take one of the rooms here.”

I shake my head, starting to wave him off. “Oh, I couldn’t-”

“You can. What you can’t do is live in your car pregnant and with a baby.”

He feels fatherly, warm and safe and I can feel the tears coming on again so I nod, accepting the help that I desperately need. “Th-thank you. I promise I’ll earn my keep.”

He shakes his head. “There’s no need-”

“Please. Let me at least clean and cook? My mami taught me how and I can make really good food.”

“It’s not necessary-”

“Please let me do this?”

He studies me for several long moments. “Alright. But when you’re near your time, you’re going to rest, understand?”

I nod, smiling slightly. “Thank you, Chucho.” I take another sip of my juice while he takes a swig of his beer, the sound of the ticking clock loud in the silence of the house.

“You said Javier won’t be back anytime soon. Can I ask what he does?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

I blush. “Oh, well we uh..didn’t really…he didn’t-”

“Ay I don’t need to know,” he chuckles. “But Javier is in Colombia, working hard to take down Pablo Escobar.”

I spit out my juice, apologizing profusely as I try to dry it up with a paper towel. “He’s what?”

“Yeah. DEA. So when I said it won’t be anytime soon…”

“Was he happy to go?”

“He definitely saw it as a promotion, a chance to go and prove himself.”

I knew about Pablo Escobar of course, but to hear that my Javier- no, not my Javier. Just Javier - was trying to catch him? That is impressive.

“He doesn’t call often, but next time he does, you can tell him about the baby-”

“No!”

Chucho looks at me, straightening himself up and squaring his shoulders. “No?”

I take a breath. “I know I only spent a….little time with Javier, but he seems like the guy to try and be honorable?” Chucho shrugs and nods. “Then I can’t tell him.”

“Why?”

“Because if I do, he’ll come home. And then he will resent us. I can take it, but the baby? I can’t do that to my child. He will resent us both for bringing him home from this huge career move. We are only 2 people. The entire world needs him. Plus, what if....what if he doesn't come back?”

Chucho’s eyes are hard as he processes what I’ve said. “You’re right about Javi, but I still think you should tell him. He deserves to know.”

“I’ll tell him. I will. When he catches Escobar.”

“That could be years, Vanessa.”

I nod. “I know. And I take full responsibility.”

“That you are.”

—----

Chucho holds true to his word, inviting me to live in his home. I cook and clean for him and, even though he grumbles about it, I see him coming to dinner on time more and more, being able to rest after a long day on the farm as opposed to cleaning. As we eat, he tells me more about Javier, his childhood and the man he grew to become. What I don’t tell Chucho is that with every story, even the bad ones, I fall a little harder for his son.

He also works out a deal with a doctor in town so I can get OB care until I can get insurance. One day, he comes home from church with a crib and several boxes of baby stuff, saying the women in his church donated their old baby things to me (he’d told them I was his new live in maid, a young girl who was recently single. Not an exact lie, but they all assumed the man either left me or I was widowed, which made them open their hearts a little more to me). 

He made me stop working so hard around 33 weeks, saying I should’ve stopped sooner. He insists I rest and relax, feed into my nesting instinct. He had cleaned out one of the other rooms to make nursery, putting the crib in there but pulling out an old bassinet from the attic, telling me it was Javier’s. 

Chucho is there holding my hand when I go into labor and is there when my son is born. Javier Alexander Morales Peña came screaming into the world, just as every bit as stubborn as his dad, according to Chucho anyway. Tears well up in his eyes when he holds Alex for the first time, telling him how handsome and strong he is. That he’s truly a Peña man. 

When Alex turns 2, Chucho demands that I go back to school, as I was only a year away from getting my degree in education. He watches Alex at night while I go to school and, a year later, I graduate with my degree, landing a job that coming school year at Laredo Elementary, which gives Alex, who will be 4 soon after, a slot in their pre-k program. 

As Alex grows, he asks about his dad. I decided to tell him the truth - that his dad is a hero, trying to catch a very bad man in another country and that he can’t come back until he does. That the world won’t be safe until the bad man is caught. Alex accepts this and makes up stories about his dad, flying around with a cape and fighting off bad guys to give us all a better world. 

One summer afternoon a couple years later, Alex had just gone off to camp for a couple of weeks. He’s 6 now and “a big boy”, so he begged to go off to a science camp with his friends for a few weeks. It was hard to not have him around, but I knew he was having a great time. I’m elbow deep in sink water, washing the pans from breakfast when the phone rings. Chucho picks it up upstairs after a couple rings and when he doesn’t call for me, I know it’s for him. I finish with the last pan, setting it off to side, sliding my rubber gloves off and reaching for the drying towel. I pick up the pan, drying it off when I hear Chucho coming downstairs. He walks into the kitchen and stands there for a moment watching me.

“Chucho? You ok?”

“I uh…I’m going to the airport.”

“Chucho…Are you finally taking a vacation?”

He gives me a small smile before it leaves his face. “Actually, I’m going to pick up Javier.”

—----

>>Part 3>>

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics

[paeliae-occasionally]

Writing share Wsaturday

I was busy ok?

Thanks @the-golden-comet, @frostedlemonwriter and @drchenquill for the tags!

Daira curled up in the corner of her room and cried. She held her head in her hands as if to support the weight of her failure, as she thought about her life. She was 18, every single one of her friends was bonded years ago and a spirit had never even approached her. She hated the way people looked at her eyes, both still the natural blue of her birth. She could see their hidden judgement, some with pity that a girl of her age might not have been approached, or even worse, contempt that she may have shunned every willing spirit out of arrogance. 

Her body shook gently as she took a weak breath, trying to calm herself and tried to wipe the tears from her eyes, only for them to be instantly replaced by more that rolled from her cheeks into the expanding puddle on the floor beneath her. 

Her door opened a crack and her father’s voice made its way in. ‘Daira? Are you alright?’

His gentle tone and genuine care only made Daira cry more. Not only had she let herself down, but she had failed her family. Even well past working age, she still didn’t have abilities to help them in their business, and she knew her parents got the same looks she did. Looks of pity and blame. She was sure they were even more disappointed in her than she was in herself. 

The door opened fully as her father walked into the room and sat quietly at her side. He put a hand lightly on her back and spoke to her softly. ‘Hey love, none of that. I am here. Tell me what’s wrong.’

Daira sniffled and tried to reply but ended up just sobbing and stuttering into his side. ‘I… I failed you.’

He pulled her closer. ‘No. No, you could never fail me. I love you.’ He spoke with a steady conviction. ‘And if you don’t believe that, then I have failed you.’ 

He held her firmly as her sobbing receded. She loooked up into his heterochromic eyes.  ‘How can you say that? I am 18 and still not bonded. I am useless to you.’

He smiled at her. ‘Love isn’t about use my daughter. Besides neither of Liete’s children are bonded yet.’

Dairy’s eyes narrowed. ‘That is because they have a generational bond. That’s different.’

He sat for a moment in thought ‘Saisha has a story for you. May I tell it?’

Daira nodded

His eyes lit up as he began to speak ‘Saisha says that once, before either of us was alive,  they were wandering the forests to the north of the village just around the time of bonding. Every day they saw hundreds of eligible children, but they approached none of them. Do you know why?’ He didn’t wait for Daira’s response. ‘It is because none of the children were meant for them. So every day they came back and there were fewer and fewer children, as more of them found a spirit, and still they found no child meant for them. One day when they came to this section of the forest, Saisha was called east to help restore the woods after a fire.’

‘Where is this going dad?’ Daira interrupted weakly.

‘Patience. I’m getting there. Well it just so happens that while Saisha was away, there was a boy in the village, who every day returned to the forest and found no spirit for him. And this continued for years while saisha helped rebuild the damaged woods, until the boy’s 21st birthday, when saisha came home.’ 

Daira’s Father smiled widely as he continued ‘As soon as the pair saw each other they knew they were meant to work together, and they bonded that afternoon. That boy grew up to be Dalla Tiren, one of our greatest heroes. The moral is just because you bond late, doesn’t mean you are useless. Maybe your spirit is just over east. You will find them in time.’

Leaving this as an open tag, as it is quite simply not Wednesday anymore.

[purplemninja]

Little Nightmares hot takes

[Feel free to comment or reblog with hot takes of your own]

Someone on the LN subreddit asked for people's hot takes and I commented a bunch of spicy ones that I have, which I will copy and paste here (though the last one will have something added to it):

1- People who say that Mono is an uwu-softboi or portray him as such are awful and are doing him a disservice. Like, you can not look at his battle against the Thin Man and pretend that he's a pacifist, not to mention the other kills he made in-game. His fight against the Thin Man and moving the tower towards himself is his most badass moment and these rougher edges to him make him a much more interesting character. So by taking that away and acting like he wouldn't hurt a fly really doesn't do Mono's character and arc any favours, it just ruins it, so people have seriously got to stop thinking that he's a 'pwecious widdle angel' when he clearly isn't, especially when it hurts his character and story.

2- I'm pretty sure that people are expecting this one but the fandom needs to lay off Six, and way the fandom makes it so that Six must either be totally good or totally bad and is not allowed to be morally grey (in between) is so irritating. Just like with Mono, taking away Six's rough edges or smooth ones hurt her character and make her way less interesting. Also no surprise that I say this but the way that the anti-Six people treat her is so awful.

3- In addition to what I said about the golden child Mono stans in number 1, the way that the FNAF books treat Henry is very much like how the fandom treats Mono - only his suffering matters, screw everyone else. Or some go even stupider and treat all of the characters in LN except Six sort of in the same way that the FNAF books treat Henry, basically like "Six and her suffering? She should shut up and suck it up" or even going as far to say that she deserves her suffering. While just about all the other characters (Mono most especially) have their suffering dealt with a gentle hand.

4- I'm pretty sure this is ghost-pepper level spicy but it's so dumb that the fandom claims that Roger is nice. Like bruh, he literally has blood stains on his vest, chases kids, you can hear one that he catches whimpering as he takes them away, wraps them up to be taken to the kitchen, and there's a bloody guillotine in vicinity. Just because he doesn't kill Six or RK on-screen means he's nice? What?

5- They should've made a LN2 DLC where you play the game as Six and get to see her perspective of everything that happened, especially that scene. Make them step out of their Mono/Thin Man tunnel vision and focus on Six and her suffering too for a change instead of making Mono's overshadow everything.

6- Six being the Lady would be disappointing AF and lazy that they're recycling Mono's fate. I'd be better off if Six was the next Lady and not the same one encountered in LN1, but I still prefer a different way for her story to go (or maybe make my new depressing interpretation of her ending (where she's not the lady but is still stranded at sea with no innocence or humanity left, making everything she went through all be for nothing in the end) the actual ending for her).

Plus, you're telling me that the remaining staff on the Maw (The Twin Chefs) were like "Oh, this kid that we tried to murder earlier is our boss now" and Six is like "Oh, I'm not going to kill these guys who tried to add me to the menu earlier. Plus I'll hire an exact copy of the Janitor and get a replacement for the one and only mirror I was able to fight the Lady with since it broke and try to board it up in the same room that I found it in. Yeah, it tooootaaaally would prevent another me from being able to get it in the exact same way that I did".

Not only that but they also put a child in charge of dealing with other business-related stuff on the Maw like shipments of coal and vegetables (or maybe someone else did that)? So stupid.

7- Runaway Kid's name is not seven!

8- The ridiculous double standards of self defence. Why are Mono and Runaway Kid allowed to defend themselves from monsters trying to kill them but Six isn't?

Mono - Smashes a bunch of bullies, pulls the trigger on the gun to shoot the Hunter, beats some living hands to death, probably burns the Doctor alive, kills some viewers by electrocuting them to death or luring them off of a ledge, and probably broke every bone in Thin Man's body before Thanos Snapping him.

Fandom - Eh.

RK - Electrocutes the Granny to death and disintegrates the Shadow Kids with his torch.

Fandom - Whatever

Six- Helps Mono shoot the same Hunter that kidnapped her and locked her in his basement (and she didn't take the gun off the hooks, Mono did), kills one bully after being kidnapped, tortured and hung upside down by them for who knows how long (which will eventually kill you), cuts off Roger's arms with a door when she was cornered, eats a rat when there's no other food nearby, eats a Nome instead of a sausage that she knows is made of human flesh, eats the Lady when there's no other food anywhere, and kills some guests who are reaching over to try and eat her on her way out of the Maw.

Fandom - Monster.

Now, I'm not saying that what Six did was good or what the boys did was evil, but people have to stop acting like it's okay for one character to kill to save their own lives but not the other.

9- This stems more from a certain artist that I won't name to avoid people going to harass them, but on top of the self defence standards, people also have to stop with the double standards of bad things happening to a character due to another character's actions. What I mean with this is that while yes, Mono had no way of knowing that Thin Man was behind the door and getting Six kidnapped by him was a mistake, that does not, however, undo the fact that Six still got kidnapped or that her kidnapping is not that big a deal all because it was an accident on Mono's part. Especially when people won't give Six the same leniency when it comes to Mono becoming the Thin Man. Six had no way of knowing that Mono would survive the fall, let alone him being stuck in a room on a chair for decades and turning into the Thin Man, yet that is a big deal despite her not knowing but her kidnapping isn't because it's also an accident?

And lastly,

10- Another ghost-pepper level spicy but AUs where Six pulls Mono up yet all the suffering she has to go through before that is 100% the same as in-game makes her a way, waaaayyyy better person than Mono. This goes double for AUs where Six realises that he's the Thin Man (you know, her kidnapper and tormentor) but decides to pull him up anyway. Like, Mono as Thin Man decides to kidnap and torture an innocent version of Six, cursing her with the hunger and making the child Mono have to torture her to save her, but Six decides to pull him up despite all of the pain he put her through. Even more so when she realises that he is her kidnapper. That makes her a much better person that him. Though it also makes her kind of spineless. I'm not saying that she should drop him, but in-game the player can abuse Six in some ways (running when holding her hand, which makes her stumble, throwing stuff at her, bash her with weapons (even if they don't do anything to her) getting her to fall off of stuff (yes, she respawns or teleports, but still), blinding her with the torch) but not once does Six retaliate until Mono attacks the music box, making her a bit of a doormat TBH. Yet some people in the fandom portray Mono as the doormat instead, it's like the fandom goes out of its way to get Mono and Six as backwards as possible.

Additionally, fan content where Mono doesn't apologise for getting Six kidnapped in the first place, or torturing her during his fight against her monster self makes him a huge jerk. Like, this girl has to suffer because of his actions (unintentional, perhaps. But as I said, that doesn't make the pain Six suffered go away or not matter) and he doesn't even have the decency to at least say sorry for the hurt he caused her? It pleases me whenever there's fan content where he does apologise, because not being sorry for hurting Six makes him a huge jerk.

It's long, but those are my hot takes.