#most others i liked but that one single story was yuck

[antlereed]

also, because i think its neat and i want to track my progress w this, im annotating these with little highlighter tag things and the difference in how i enjoy these books is. astounding

mirrorshades tagging is yellow - i loved it, pink - i hated it while transhuman is pink - i loved it, blue - i hated it (because i ran out of yellow tags and now pink tags that i need to get more of)

[minotaur-asterion]

Fellas, I haven’t written a post like this in five years, and I hoped I’d never have to, but here we are. Recently I’ve been seeing a couple posts in the Slay the Princess tag spreading negativity: complaining about certain characters getting more attention and different treatment, implying rather serious things about people who prefer one character over the others, generally trying to start drama. (That is what I assume the posts are meant to do, since I would hope everyone remembers that if you don’t have anything nice to say...) The topic of community within this fandom is very important to me so I feel it’s necessary to give a very gentle reminder of what the game is all about.

Attempting to shame other people for focusing on specific characters is horribly inappropriate. The game only has three characters, and there’s not much room to ignore any of them given their importance to the story. If people love the Princess, that’s because she’s literally in the title of the game; if people love the Long Quiet, that’s because they are an expression of you as the player; if people love the voices and the Narrator, that’s because they act as your companions throughout the game.

I’m really glad that most of us appreciate all the characters! But you cannot expect every single person to have the exact same opinions about every character. We all come from different walks of life and we will all have our own specific reasons for loving a certain character more or less. Whether you understand these reasons or you’re making general assumptions about why they’re particularly drawn to them, it isn’t okay to be rude about it. As the saying goes: “don’t yuck someone else’s yum.”

It truly makes me sad to see that, considering this game is about perspectives (especially perspectives that conflict), some Slay the Princess fans refuse to extend the courtesy of hearing someone out- and, barring that, leaving them alone. Seriously, if something bothers you there’s a block button!

There is, of course, nuance; if you’re speaking with a friend group in private and everyone has explicitly stated this kind of behavior is acceptable, then have at it. My problem is when people do it to random strangers- they are not engaging in fandom to listen to others rag on about them and insinuate things like misogyny and misandry.

Kindness is free, don’t forget to like and subscribe, etc.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern AU) - Upset - Part 1

(Whump fic disguised as a headcanon)

Jaskier was typically outgoing, charming, and had an amazing sense of humor. He was good-natured and wasn't one to get upset easily. Except when it came to Valdo Marx. That a**hole was a completely different story!

But Jaskier did get angry, or sad, or got his feelings hurt, like any normal person. And while he did get upset, he was also quick to forgive his friends. He may not forgive himself as quickly or easily, but would always forgive the people closest to his heart.

He had even forgiven Geralt for abandoning him on the mountain, but Geralt wasn't so sure Jaskier was going to forgive him for this...

Geralt and Jaskier had just pulled into the driveway when Jaskier had been called away for band business. He'd jumped out of Van Roach, broken the world's speed record for showering, thrown on clean clothes, and headed over to their little studio.

Geralt had been left to unpack everything from their recent roadtrip: two weeks on the Path, hunting monsters in Temeria. He was tired, but he had to get the van cleaned out and restocked for the next trip. He gave it a good vacuuming, took out all the empty food containers and packaging, and tossed all the empty cans and bottles.

He shampooed the carpet and seat where Jaskier had spilled his drink after Geralt hit the brakes quite suddenly, on purpose, after Jaskier kept forgetting to put his seatbelt on, and wouldn't stop putting his feet up on the dashboard. Jaskier had folded in half with a surprised shriek, and Geralt had to stop to pull his a** out of the footwell.

Geralt restocked the medical supply cabinet, then bundled all the bedding up and shoved it into the washing machine. Was it overloaded? Most likely. Was Yen going to be mad? Not if she didn't find out. Geralt left the machine to do its job and f**ked off to go do something else until it was time to dry everything.

After half an hour of sitting in front of the tv, he heard the washing machine stop, so he peeled himself off the couch and went to shove everything in the dryer. He was pulling the blankets and sheets out when he saw it...

Geralt experienced a mental pause while his brain devoted most of its function into verifying that what his eyes were seeing was really true.

Then came the wave of panic as he carefully pulled the blanket out of the washer. Ohsh*tohsh*t! It had gotten mixed in with the other bedding, and he hadn't noticed! Sh*t! Oh gods! Were the tattered spot worse, or had they always looked like that? Ohhhhhhhhhh.....

Yennefer was out in her herb garden when she heard Geralt swear loudly and emphatically, "FFFFAAAAAAAHHHHKKKKKHHHH!!!!". She ran inside immediately, and heard him swear again in the laundry room.

She flung door open, voice raised in righteous fury, "You better not have overloaded the washing manchine again, Geralt!", and froze on the spot when she saw Geralt standing there, holding a blanket.

Yennefer gasped, experiencing the same panic as Geralt when she recognized the familiar, but now much cleaner looking ratty blanket. That wasn't just any blanket. It was Jaskier's blankie. And Geralt had just washed it! Their eyes locked, and a single thought passed between them,

oH sH*T!

They both knew the significance of what had just happened. They were f**ked. There was no way to fix this. Geralt's brain made a valiant effort though, and coughed up an absurd, but simple solution.

"Yen, quick, magic it back to the way it was!"

"What?!"

"Just...I don't know, put the...the 'yuck' back on it!"

"You want me to just magic decades of drool, dirt, sweat, and gods know what else back on to it? What the f**k, Geralt?"

"Ok, ok, then at least put the stink back on it so it will smell like it did before I accidentally washed it!"

"I can't, you nimrod! I don't know what it smells like!"

Geralt gave the blanket an experimental sniff. That one corner still smelled funky to him. Maybe it was going to be okay.

Yennefer burst his bubble. "He's not a Witcher! He doesn't have your sense of smell!" She took a sniff herself. All she could smell was lavender and linen. "And I don't either!"

"D*mn, it's a little...uh...ragged too!" Yennefer groaned, looking at the bits where some of the old, slapped on patches had frayed and pulled away from the other bits of fabric. There were stringy bits, and small areas where the old batting was showing through.

Geralt felt his heart sink with dread. The blankie was mostly in one piece, just a little 'battle worn', but it was still obviously damaged and would need repair.

Oh, f**k, we're...f**ked!"

They were very much f**ked because that was when Jaskier walked in. He knew something was wrong. He could sense dread and urgency through Yennefer's mental link as soon as he walked into the house.

Jaskier opened the laundry room door and froze. He saw Geralt holding his blankie. Saw the open door of the washing machine. Saw the ragged look of his blankie. Smelled laundry soap. And put one and one together.

"You...you...washed it..." he said, his voice small and flat. Geralt and Yennefer both flinched. Jaskier slowly reached out and took the damp blanket from Geralt's hands. He started trembling then, and Geralt could smell the distress coming off him. It was making him sick to his stomach.

Jaskier ran his hand over one frayed patch where the stitching had given way, his thougths racing as he tried to both process what had happened, and simultaneously come up with a way to fix it.

"Jask, I-!" Geralt began to try to explain, reaching over to lay a comforting hand on Jaskier's shoulder.

Jaskier jerked away from him, "No!" he barked, his voice rough and tight. He was shaking now.

"No..." he whimpered, his voice sounding small and broken. Yennefer gasped when, out of pure distress, he started banging his fist on his head and repeating "No" over and over.

Geralt grabbed his wrist, "Hey! Stop it!"

Jaskier twisted and jerked, then tensed up as he felt a familiar pain flare in his chest. "F**k you!" he cried, suddenly angry. "F**k you, Geralt! F**k you!"

"Geralt, his chest-!" Yennefer said quickly, feeling the pain through their link.

Geralt immediately released his grip.

Jaskier stumbled as Geralt let go. He took a step back and bumped up against the counter, sliding down to sit on the floor. He felt light-headed.

"Breathe, Jaskier..." Yennefer said, her voice full of concern. She crouched beside him and lightly slapped at his cheek until he blinked and took a breath.

Yennefer tried to press her hand to his chest, to feel if those ribs had separated from his sternum again, but he turned away from her slightly.

"Let me see, Nightengale. Please?" She asked quietly.

Jaskier shook his head and hugged his damp blanket to his chest, sniffling and trying to get a hold of himself. "Get out." he said quietly after a minute.

"Jaskier," Yennefer said gently, pulling on his hand when he started fisting his hair. "Let's get your blankie in the dryer, okay?"

He didn't look at her, just stared at the floor numbly, holding his wet blanket, eyes glistening with tears.

"Jask?" Geralt rumbled softly.

"Just f**k off, both of you. Please."

Geralt looked at Yennefer, who nodded. They quietly left the room...

[dillweedshole]

A really fucking big post entirely about Karrie and (most of) my history with her

i feel like i've rarely touched my ocs in ages so here's one about my favourite. this one's got a hell of a developmental story.

(it's big enough to warrant a Read More lmao)

This is Karrie. You've probably seen her, you may or may not like her, i don't care, i like her. The big fucking thing behind her is also her, that's her Monarch form.

So how shocked would you be if I told you this is how she started?:

Yuck. Gross. This was EARLY 2021 I absolutely COULD do better than that. Let's not talk about the MSPaint Line Tool lineart and instead talk about how she acted. She was a woman. No, there really isn't that much more, I went back and read through my first canned series and I shit you not she really is just super fucking boring.

V2 was still bog-standard basic ol' Karrie. Just, y'know, now the art is a little better. She's still the same fucking woman but now she's just not.. Yuck, y'know?

Now, one day for Lex I made him an alternate 'Twisted' form. I decided "well, damn, i'm bored" and made one up for Karrie. I had plans for lore revolving around Lex's form but Karrie's was to be completely non-canon.

See? Even in late 2021 I was bad at listening to myself.

This is Twisted Karrie. Believe it or not, I don't know how she would act. This and one other drawing are the only ones with this exact design.

The plans were still in effect, I was not going to give her any canonicity whatsoever, this was just me dicking around. .. And then my friend Numi drew this;

(image link: https://www.deviantart.com/cuteario-numi/art/Creepy-twisted-Karrie-888840902)

And then something clicked. Obviously she's a better artist than me, let's not call an orange an apple, that shit slaps does it not??

So i decided to do something to the design because i didn't know where to go with the original one, and i took a couple bits and pieces from what she made here.

Twisted 2.0. Give her arms more beef, puff out that dress, elongate the hair, make her eyes big gaping holes, and make her mouth all melty and tear-y.

Honestly, this was good enough for me at the time. just enough cool but not too much that it became stupid to draw.

Not many more changes happened to Karrie after twisted for a while, she was just gonna be normal woman with dark secret!!

(i also redid the one drawing numi did with the new look.)

And then one day, i just decided to add a single little point of lore, that her Base form should look like the Twisted form is kinda leaking into it, and drew her with that in mind.

We can now see current Karrie peeking out.

This set a spark something fucking FIERCE after that one tidbit she's never been the same.

I spent a good like two months refining the design, she had a small phase where she looked like she had absolutely zero fucking self control.

This was also when I introduced an bigger lore tidbit: Her trainer dies. That's the smoking gun for her going Twisted/Monarch.

You can clearly see that I struck fucking GOLD with the story details, eventually I just decided to calm her down a bunch and now we're about where we are now.

At least for Base Karrie. Let's go back to Twisted for a second.

For a little while she was a little stagnant. I didn't change a whole lot for a while.

Then not long after I finally made Base Karrie good, I decided "how about her Twisted form look like her Base a little more."

I think this was around when I changed "Twisted" to "Feral." That name change also changed her behavior a LOT. She went from "Scared, Defensive Demon" to "Malicious, Cunty Demon" and that's about where Feral should've been.

The only big visual change was really in the hair. She stayed like this for a couple months.

I was drawing for Powerless and i think at some point i decided "Well. That dress fucking sucks. Let's change it."

For a while this was still Feral, but this is basically Monarch as we know it now.

And uh, That's about it. You can definitely SEE my art getting better throughout each design, too.

She's gone from "Woman Side Character" to "Bad Bitch Main Character" especially considering lore.

I can definitely try doing one for Lex, he's had a relatively decent history too, but Karrie's had the most remarkable mixup of any of my characters (asides from her trainer dying lmao gotem ez).

[wolfverse-stories]

Falling Slowly

(Tim is the oldest au)

Chapter 1

     Tim sighed as he walked through the empty hallway. They could have at least woken him up to say goodbye.

     "No use in dwelling on it," Tim said to himself walking into the kitchen. He carefully looked through the cabinets trying to find something to eat.

      'Looks like I'll have to go to the store' he noted as he pulled down half a bag of banana chips from Janet's last health kick.

     There wasn't ever much food kept at the house since Tim was really the only one who ate there. His parents were away most of the time and when they were in Gotham they usually like to eat out with friends. Mrs. Mac would usually do the shopping but his mother had made it clear that she was not to be bothered this week

     "Now Timothy Mrs. Mac had a family emergency this week so I don't want you to bother her" Janet warned as she packed her suitcase.

     "Yes ma'am" Tim nodded helping to gather her things. His mother didn't care anything about 'The help', however, she was not about to have her reputation ruined by her thoughtless son being insensitive to the housekeeper.

      That was okay. Tim had a small stash of cash for situations like these. He would simply go into Gotham tonight and get some groceries.

     'It'll give me a chance to try out my new camera anyways' He smiled to himself as he plopped a handful of banana chips into his mouth.

     "Yuck!" He scrunched up his nose forcing down the chips "Note to self no more banana chips" he stood up stuffing the bag back into the cabinet before walking over to the coffee maker.

     'I still have six minutes' he thought to himself as he started the machine. After pouring himself a mug Tim walked over to the living room and turned on the TV before leaning back into the couch holding on tightly to the mug so as not to spill a single drop of the precious liquid.

     He's parents wouldn't be happy if they had caught him bringing a drink into the living room. But right now they were gone and he was ahead in all his classes which meant he could watch some TV.

     Public television, another thing his parents would surely scold him for. They were strongly against any form of entertainment that wasn't considered culturally enriching.

     The worst were sitcoms, they believed that your brain would turn their brains to mush from just watching one episode. Which was pretty stupid considering Tim spent a lot of time watching them and was still top of his class.

     Tim loved sitcoms, especially ones about families. His favorite by far had to be the Brady Buch. A show about two different families moving in together and becoming one big happy family. He loved the relationship between the siblings and how they all took care of each other.

     Sometimes he'd even like to imagine that he was part of the family. He'd always thought it would be so cool to have a large family full of brothers and sisters. But his parents had made clear they didn't want another kid and that was probably for the best. After all, it's not like Tim could take care of a younger kid and his parents wouldn't be happy if they had to stay home all the time. Still, it was nice to imagine.

More stories / Next

[gimmesomeguac]

Am I really posting this right before our boy flirts shamelessly in an upcoming tv appearance? So smart. /s

So a while ago I made a post about how calling our favorite sad trashcan lawyer a "manwhore" was funny, but also an oversimplification. I finally came up with more words to explain.

In a conversation with a fellow fan, they suggested the term "serial monogamist" and I liked it a lot. I wouldn't call the Matt on tv a "playboy" because that is so strongly associated with being sexist and using people for sex rather than having genuine interest in them. I don't know about comics Matt, (Heaven knows he was as misogynistic as every other guy in comics in the oldest stories- yuck. Then there are also characterization changes between writers to various degrees, so I'd have to read way more to call it.) but tv Matt is constantly humanizing and looking for the good in others. He is idealistic, and a romantic at heart. My interpretation is that he cares so much that he invests emotionally in other people- regardless of relationship type. We see this investment in how he views a city filled with strangers as his family. While I'm sure some dates are truly one-and-done like for anyone, when he feels the spark of potential, he is prone to investing a silent, secret hope in that person. "Maybe this time. Maybe we're going to be something."

"Manwhore" suggests a desire for constant sexual attention, and Matt clearly enjoys a good flirt, but he goes months if not years without actually having sex, choosing to be Daredevil above all. What he's desperate for is love and emotional connection, not simply sex.

Some of you might be going, "No duh." But I've seen some lovingly-insulting or straight up joke (inaccurate) labels from fans turn into fanon actual-interpretation standard, so I thought I'd write about this because Matt's complexity is one of the most beloved qualities of the character and show.

Could he be afraid of happiness and mess up a relationship that had real potential? Could he seek out relationships doomed to fail in order to self-destruct or to fulfill the same old pattern? Could he use intimacy itself to self-destruct? Could he be the victim of an actual player because they notice his yearning for a connection? I'm considering several plot bunnies here.

Of course this leads to a cycle of disappointment. He tells himself to keep it cool next time, only to repeat the routine of getting his hopes up. Matt doesn't exactly do casual well. He's intense in his hopes just like he is passionate in other areas of life. I wouldn't say he truly falls in love every time, but he gets his hopes up for love. Maybe it's illogical, naive for sure, maybe it makes him vulnerable to being manipulated, but it makes sense for a sometimes lonely romantic to grow into this habit.

I'm not sure a guy raised by nuns would immediately know to brush the traditional meaning of the word aside, so he might be insulted if he were called it to his face at first. (And I have a character exploration/MattFoggy plot bunny growing from this post- stay tuned.)

Head canon and write whatever you want or need for your fics, etc. though! This is not to single out or hate on anyone or any post, fic, etc. I love you people like Matt would.

[stokan]

Every 2022 Film Nominated for an Oscar Ranked

40. Tell It Like a Woman - It’s true, this “movie” actual exists. I’ve seen it with my own eyes, and they haven’t stopped bleeding since. That this collection of sub-student-film level shorts is an absolute embarrassment for everyone involved is besides the point. What I really want you to know about this “movie” is that the Diane Warren song that is the entire reason for this project to exist plays in one of the shorts, then it plays again over the closing credits, then it plays a SECOND time over the closing credits, but then it ends and the credits are still going. And no new songs starts! So you’re just sitting there in the most uncomfortable interminable silence ever because I guess they couldn’t afford a second song (?) and at Academy screenings it’s considered incredibly rude to leave before the credits are done. But thank god you didn’t because then after the credits there is a MUSIC VIDEO FOR THE SONG! And that music video is longer and looks like it cost more than basically all of the shorts you just watched. And part of the music video is Diane Warren directing the music video you're currently watching?? And as a legitimate smile formed on my face while all of this was unfolding, it’s only then that I truly understood Stockholm Syndrome.

39. Blonde - Feels truly wild that this wasn’t the worst movie I saw this year. It’s hard to say if I hated this more than Andrew Dominick hates Marilyn Monroe, but regardless, I can’t imagine ever having a more unpleasant time at the movies than I did watching this three-hour-long Ana de Armas hostage video. Please don’t watch Blonde.

38. Bardo - More like BardNO. If you’re going to make a movie about you feel like you suck as an artist and are unworthy as a person, what you don't want is the end result to make the audience definitely agree with you. But other than the truly gorgeous cinematography, making Inarritu’s self-loathing an ACTUAL loathing is the only other thing this film successfully achieves. Well, that and single-handedly killing the idea of Netflix giving unlimited money to directors to make their passion projects unimpeded. Never thought I would say this, but after watching Bardo - please studios, give directors more notes.

37. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever - “Yeah, but your scientists were so occupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should” - Dr. Ian Malcom, a character who would later appear in Jurassic Park: Dominion.

While watching this movie I kept trying to figure out what on earth the character of RiRi had to do with anything, only to get home and learn that her sole purpose in the movie was to set up a future TV series. At this point buying a ticket for an MCU movie is exactly like Ralphie in A Christmas Story sending off for Annie’s Secret Circle Decoder Ring, only you already know in advance the answer will always just ultimately be “don’t forget to drink your Ovaltine”.

36. EO - I’m sure when they were making this movie they thought “well, if nothing else, at least we’re definitely making the best artsy existential European donkey movie this year.” Nope! 

No human in this movie behaves like an actual human being, every major choice is contrived simply to keep the plot moving forward, and the donkey is the best actor in the cast. Nice try though.

35. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - When adults don't take animation seriously as an art form and write it off as essentially kids entertainment, this is the exact movie they’re thinking of - brightly colored, turbo-charged drivel, with broad characters, broader jokes, and nothing interesting to say. Not to yuck anyone’s yum, as I’m sure if I was 8 years old I would want all things Puss and Boots mainlined directly into my veins, but as a non-8-year-old, this was very much Not For Me. 

(Also, as a 40 year old man, if you’d like to almost certainly get put on some kind of list then I would really recommend going by yourself, in a heavy coat and sweatpants, to a 9:30pm Friday night screening of a Puss in Boots film.)

34. Navalny - Important story, one truly great scene, and a film that I know a lot of people seem to like, but as a piece of movie making, for me, well...are the kids still saying “mid”? If so, I’m gonna say the thing that I’m sure ALL the kids are saying - a sentence that you can hear as you walk down the halls of any school in America - "Navalny is mid”.

33. The Sea Beast - Less than a month after having seen it, here’s the grand total of what I remember about this movie: there was a sea beast.

32. The Whale - If you want to know why there are many different art forms used to tell stories a great example is that this script works beautifully as a play, and terribly as a movie. Theater and film are different mediums, and what works on stage often seems overwrought and overwritten on film. And as we learn more and more with each passing year, most movies don’t make good plays either. So just let plays be plays and movies be movies. And let whatever exactly Sadie Sink and Samatha Morton are doing in The Whale never be either ever again.

31. Mrs Harris Goes to Paris - A beautiful looking trifle that tastes lovely and sweet but has absolutely no nutritional value because it’s mostly just air. A movie that feels like it should have premiered on British Airways’ in-flight entertainment network, if that can somehow be read as a semi-compliment.

30. Empire of Light - There’s a truly moving and interesting movie in here about the power of film and communal experience. The problem is that there are three other movies in here as well. Still, if you got Colman and you got Deakins, you got something. Just not any more than that though.

28. A House Made of Splinters - This year’s Oscar Doc Mad Libs entry. There’s always at least one nominee where the log line is: verite footage of a woman/group of women operating (an uplifting and important social service) in (country that’s currently in the news for being at war). in this case it’s (orphanage) and (Ukraine). Important story, truly heroic work, and further proof that if you point a camera at kids for long enough you’re always gonna wind up with some profound truths. But I watch a version of this exact movie every single year.

27. Argentina 1985 - Would seem difficult to take something as emotionally compelling as the true-life story of people being disappeared by a South American military dictatorship and make a movie about it that feels as conventional as an extra long Law and Oder episode, but here we are. That’s not to say it isn’t well made, important, and watchable - people love Law and Order! - just that it’s so by the numbers it feels more like a math equation than a film. If you’ve ever seen a movie before, you know where this one is going.

26. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery - Everything listed before this movie I would not really recommend, and everything after it, at least on some level, I would. And this is the exact mid-point. A perfectly decent movie that I feel absolutely nothing about. See it, or don’t - I can’t imagine a world where I would possibly care one way or the other. it’s simply the blindfolded lady who holds up the scale.

25. The Quiet Girl - It’s hard to totally put my finger on why this movie feels like one that in a few years I’ll almost certainly forget ever having seen, when at the same time there are very stylistically and tonally similar movies much higher on my list, but if I had to try and sum it up, I’d say it’s this: the girl is too quiet.

24. To Leslie - Honestly, is Andrea Riseborough getting nominated for this movie that much different than Laura Dern getting nominated for Rambling Rose or Jessica Lange WINNING for Blue Sky? I have no idea, I’ve never seen those movies. But an actress getting nominated for a micro-budget film no one saw from a tiny distributor isn’t some sort of new scandal, it used to be an annual tradition. Hell, To Leslie is exactly the sort of pleasant feel-good elevated-middle-brow indie that the Oscars were practically built on in the 90s. Although Mark Maron is the least believable Texan in movie history, and the budget definitely shows, and the style is non-existent, as half of Hollywood has at this point tweeted - it’s a small movie with a big heart. And I didn’t even get paid to say that!

23. Living - Why did we need essentially a shot-for-shot remake of Ikiru only set in England instead of Japan? Seriously, who is this for? It feels almost radically, defiantly, inessential. But the performances, especially Bill Nighy, are pretty great. And hey, Ikiru is a classic for a reason. So, whatever. Ultimately it was worth seeing, but this is last time I will ever write about Living again for the rest of my life.

22. Causeway - “Brian Tyree Henry, Oscar Nominee” has nice ring to it. And Jennifer Lawrence - also good at acting. Out of the little run I’m on here of nice but slight character study dramas, this feels like the best of the bunch. That may not be saying a ton, but it’s something, which also feels like a solid summary of this film.

21. All The Beauty And The Bloodshed - Scalding hot take: Nan Golden seems like a bit of a tough hang. Take that’s not hot at all: the Sackler family are evil pieces of shit. And sure, getting you emotionally riled up about their awfulness is sort of a layup, but by combining it with Nan Golden’s incredible life story, tough hang though she may be, this movie 360 windmill dunks it.

20. Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio - Not a del Toro person, never going to be a del Toro person, just not my vibe, and truly baffled as to why he spent his time making the millionth adaptation of a story no one was asking to see remade, but damn if the result isn’t impressive. It may not be my thing, and it’s honestly  unclear who it’s audience exactly is supposed to be, but the level of care and craft on display is undeniably worthy of praise. Indifferent towards the player, but respect the hell out of the game.

19. Fire of Love - It’s almost impossible to watch this movie and not think the whole time about how you’re watching two Wes Anderson characters. Which is fitting because the style of this movie is more notable than the substance. But what stye it is. And although I said it’s somewhat lacking in substance, it does get at one very important and universal truth: don’t go chasing volcanoes.

18. Turning Red - As a massive Pixar fanboy it’s been a while since they’ve had a script that rose to the standards of their glory days, but I think this finally does the trick. The movie is visually a little too frantic and busy for my taste, but I’m also not its target audience, so that’s fine. It has something real and original to say to a demographic that I have aged out of and that’s more than valid. Teen and tween audiences need real art too, and not just pandering dreck. So while maybe this movie wasn’t one of my personal favorites of the year, it feels good to be able to roll up my sleeves and show my #TeamPixar tattoo with pride once again.

17. RRR - There’s a warning before this film that no actual animals were harmed because all the animals are CGI, which is hilarious because there’s no way anyone could possibly think anything in this movie was real, including the human beings. It’s definitely the first massive budget blockbuster action spectacular that also feels like they used non-union actors. Which is fitting because it’s as much video game as it is a movie. I absolutely admire the hell out of the craft, the ambition, originality, and fight choreography on display, but bottom line is that a movie where a guy punches a tiger in the face with a fist that’s on fire is just fundamentally never going to be My Thing. The musical numbers, especially Naatu Naatu, are truly electric though, and if you’re a 16-year-old boy bump this ranking up infinity places.

16. The Batman - This is why we can’t have nice things. You make a superhero movie that feels like it was done by an actual human rather than a committee, with great interesting acting choices, a real visual style, and a distinct dark aesthetic that feels like it enhances the specific story being told rather than the demands of some larger universe, and it makes money, but it leaves no cultural footprint. This coming and going without seeming to leave a mark shows that it’s not the Batman movie we deserved, but it was for sure the one I needed, and it deserved better.

15. Elvis - It’s important to preface this by saying that as a theater kid I’m a Baz Lurhman fan. R&J? Seminal movie of my adolescence and a huge reason I still love Shakespeare today. Moulin Rouge? Own it on a worn-out special edition DVD. The Great Gatsby? Underrated! Australia? Sure! So your milage may understandably vary, and I get that. I totally see all the flaws. But damn if Baz making a movie ABOUT music doesn’t just bypass all my critical facilities and go straight to my pleasure center. Is this movie what cocaine is like? Anyway, it’s not GOOD, but also, for me, it’s great. And if Austin Butler winds up winning the Oscar I’m gonna feel pretty proud of walking out of the theater after seeing Elvis back in the summer and calling my shot

14. All Quiet on the Western Front - I do firmly believe the famous Truffaut quote that there’s no such thing as an anti-war movie. But this is the exception to that rule. Like West Side Story last year, it pulls off the miraculous task of remaking a movie that didn’t need remaking while yet also justifying its own existence. And while it now feels like we’ve officially reached the end point of war movie verisimilitude, what an exclamation point to cap off the journey. It’s truly insane WWI ever happened, and if only we could go back in time and show them this film, it never would have. It’s that powerful.

13. Avatar: The Way of Water - There’s nothing I’m more out on in movies than when one CGI thing is fighting another CGI thing. Yet when the whole movie is CGI things fighting CGI things? Apparently I’m all the way in.

Look the story is dumb, and the dialogue is stilted, and the mythology this world is trying to build feels pretty cringe, but by god is this movie gorgeous to look at and an absolute technical marvel. And the final third of this movie is some of the best action filmmaking I’ve seen in a very long time. James Cameron, incredible stager of action sequences, who knew? Strap on some 3D glasses, see this on an IMAX screen on a Friday night in a crowded theater, and try not to be entertained, I dare you.

12. All That Breathes - I do this insane project of watching every single Oscar nominee every year because without fail it exposes me to one or two or three movies I fall in love with that I wouldn’t have ever seen otherwise. Well that, and also because there’s something wrong with my brain. But most often these wonderful finds are documentaries, for example: Attica, Time, Minding the Gap, and my beloved Honeyland. Much like Honeyland, my find this year, All That Breathes, is about something simple - in this case its two brothers running a Mumbai bird hospital instead of Honeyland’s Macedonian beekeeper - but like with that film, as it slowly reveals itself, it turns out to really be about Everything All At Once. Family, geopolitics, the climate crisis, religion, interconnectedness - truly all that breathes. Great film, and can’t wait to see what subtly beautiful Senegalese goat herder documentary I fall in love with in 2023.

11. Top Gun: Maverick - The platonic ideal of a summer blockbuster. This is not my kind of movie at all, and yet I even I was won over. Resistance is impossible. Picking nits is pointless. Because sure it’s as by the numbers as they come yet, wow is that counting fun. It almost single handedly justifies the concept of just turning your brain off and having a good escapist time at the movies. But most importantly for me, it just makes me feel good about never wavering in one of my deepest held beliefs: Jennifer Connelly is the most attractive human being who has ever lived. 

10. Women Talking - Here’s to truth in advertising. No one who can read titles can say they didn’t know EXACTLY what they walking into with this film. But what great talking it is. And what great women! Although ::poking his head the slightest bit humanly possible out from behind the world’s largest bush:: the one truly transcendent performance in the film for me was Ben Wishaw. But everyone was great really. And fitting that the only great play adaptation of the year wasn’t a play adaptation at all. It was just a true ensemble working together to tell an important story in urgent and poetic language in a purposely claustrophobic setting. It’s a real shame then that this film seems to be evaporating from the collective consciousness before it ever even made its way in, because it’s actually the one thing we should all be doing more of: watching women talking.

9. TAR - As a card carrying elitist film snob it pains me as much to rank TAR this low as it does for you to see it here. And there was a point, maybe about two hours into the movie, where it seemed like it was ending, and I thought to myself “what a masterpiece!”. But the problem is it didn’t end there. It kept going. And the last part of this film, the part that some people online think is supposed to be a dream or whatever, just absolutely does not work for me. And wow oh wow does it feel like the absolute last scene isn’t just beamed in from a totally different movie but from a totally different planet. It’s the exact opposite of sticking the landing. That being said, Todd Field is an actual genius, the dialogue is in a league of its own, and it’s fitting Cate Blanchett is probably not going to win the Oscar because an Oscar feel almost beneath her performance. But still…that last 20 minutes. So please don’t tar me, but #9 it is.

8. Triangle of Sadness - I think all the time about Connor Oberst performing his anti-Bush song “When the President Talks to God” years ago on The Tonight Show. This dense, well-written song with no chorus and no hooks that got what can best be described as polite applause. And I remember thinking, good song, but what is the point of it? It will reach absolutely no one who doesn’t already hate Bush. You know what will? Green Day writing a song literally called “American Idiot” about how the president is, well, an American idiot, but it has a sing-along chorus that kicks ass. And I think about that when people criticize Triangle of Sadness for being too obvious, because you know what - it absolutely kicks ass. 

On paper, sure, people quoting Lenin and Reagan back at each other while rich people throw up on each other on a luxury cruise is embarrassingly on the nose, but in practice, watching it play out on screen in a movie theater full of people, I was laughing so hard I could barely feel my face, let alone my nose. And all the chatter about how this movie makes obvious points about how rich people are bad feels like it comes from people who wrote the movie off half-way thru, because it totally misses the third act, which is the complicated, thorny, and dark heart of the film. (Justice for Dolly de Leon!)

Look, maybe this wasn’t your cup of tea, but anecdotally, talking to people from all areas of my life, especially people younger than me, this is BY FAR the movie from this year that people bring up to me the most. And they always say how its themes were thought-provoking and important and worth watching. And to me that’s proof of my belief that what may on paper come off as obvious, is in fact the year’s catchiest chorus.

7. Babylon - Is it the best movie of the year? No. Would I personally give it my hypothetical Oscar vote? Definitely not. Should it win best picture? Don’t be absurd. But would I give up all my worldly possessions to a join a new religion where we move out to the woods and chant the name Babylon up to the heavens 12 hours a day? Absolutely! 

Babylon is like if one of Stephon’s clubs was a movie - this film has everything: an alligator attack, a guy eating a live mouse, a Jean Smart monologue about existentialism, Margot Robbie projectile vomiting on someone’s face, footage from the 1982 film Tron. It’s as though someone told Damien Chazelle this was going to be the final movie ever made and he somehow, miraculously, aced the assignment. It’s definitely one of the most movie movies ever to movie. It feels weird to not be typing about this movie strictly in all caps. And if you think this movie is majorly flawed, well, sure, probably, but you’re missing the point. MOVIES!!!!

My head knows I cant rank this any higher than #7, but in my heart? Well, what’s a ranking higher than #1? #-100? In my heart this was the -100th best movie of the year.

6. Close - A stunningly beautiful and heartbreaking movie from what feels like a major new voice in Lukas Dhont. A movie that pulls off the magic trick of somehow making you feel deeply sympathetic towards those trapped in the prison of masculinity, rather than angry about the toxicity of it. And speaking of magical - in the year of great child actor performances the two in this movie are the best of them all. Just an absolute gem of a movie. Go see Close.

5. Aftersun - If TAR botched its ending, then Aftersun is the gymnastics judges crossing out their 10s and writing in 11s of sticking your landing. Because, spoiler alert, but the final scene of this movie is maybe the best use of a pre-existing popular song in film history. That sounds like hyperbole, but I was literally shaking with emotion during “Under Pressure”. It’s my new go-to need-a-good-cry YouTube clip. And a quiet film about a childhood experience where nothing much happens and it’s all subtext until finally one incredible scene of intense emotion is so totally my shit that it feels like I excreted it from my own colon. Was it maybe a little TOO quiet in parts? Perhaps. And the framing device didn’t TOTALLY work. But still, Charlotte Wells being able to compete with this film in the best the First Feature category at awards shows feels unfair. It’s so confident and expertly crafted that I feel like she’s a future My Favorite Director just waiting to happen.

4. Everything Everywhere All At Once - Sure you can make the argument it’s a hat on an infinite number of hats, but HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL THOSE FUCKING HATS!!!! The inventiveness, originality, and utter chaos on display in a movie that’s about to win Best Picture is truly mind-blowing. It’s like a Jackson Pollock of ideas. When they say they don’t make em like that anymore, this is the exact opposite of what they’re talking about.

3. The Banshees of Inisherin - Barry Keoghan might be my favorite actor working today, Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson are the new dysfunctional Hepburn and Tracy, and Kerry Condon should win all the Oscars. But for me this movie is all about the script. That fecking script. Laugh out loud funny, endlessly quotable, and utterly heartbreaking. I mean, Martin McDonagh - good at writing things, who knew? Plays shouldn’t be movies, but maybe more movies should be by writers of plays.

2. Marcel the Shell With Shoes On - I want to have a genetic mutation causing me to have more thumbs just so I can give this more than two thumbs up. This movie is a miracle. How did a super twee one-joke YouTube short become the most moving and heartfelt mediation on family and connection and existentialism I’ve seen in a long time? It still doesn’t seem possible and yet I’ve seen it with my own tear-stained eyes. I can’t compare it to any movie I’ve ever seen before and I can’t imagine anything quite like it will ever come along again. And most miraculous of all, if it moves even a slight inch in any other direction it becomes cloying, or sappy, or obvious, or any multitude of other sins, yet it’s in such total control of its tone it’s like watching Lydia Tar conduct a tone orchestra. And finally, if the scene where Marcel finally finds his family didn’t totally turn you into a sobbing mess than you yourself might be a shell, or at least have one for a heart. I cried, I laughed uproariously, and I fell in love with an animated shell with shoes on - what more could you possibly want out of a film?

1. The Fabelmans - Is this the movie that I feel most passionate about from 2022? No. Read what I had to say about most of the past 10 entries for proof. I’m honestly surprised to see this here, and I’m the one making the list. But here’s the thing: my favorite film of 2017 was Lady Bird. Of 2018 was Eighth Grade. Of 2019 was Little Women. I’m nothing if not consistent in my total love of and weakness for a coming of age story. We all have our things. And one this well shot, and scored, and written, and acted, and DIRECTED - I dunno what to tell you. This was the movie that best combined quality of filmmaking with emotional connection for me personally. It had the most scenes I loved, the most performances I enjoyed, the most shots I marveled at. It seems like it wasn’t for everyone, and as the years pass I have a feeling this ranking might change, but for right now, thinking back on the year in film, I have a hot take to end things on: Steven Spielberg knows how to fucking make a great movie.

SHORTS

My Year of Dicks (animated)

Ice Merchants (animated)

The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse (animated)

Haulout (doc)

An Ostrich Told Me The World Is Fake And I Think I Believe It (animated)

The Elephant Whisperers (doc)

How Do You Measure A Year? (doc)

The Red Suitcase (live action)

The Flying Sailor (animated)

Le Pupille (live action)

An Irish Goodbye (live action)

The Martha Mitchell Effect (doc)

Ivalu (live action)

Stranger at the Gate (doc)

Night Ride (live action)

[theprivatearchives]

5th January 2021

I watched most of the Anne of Green Gables movie with Megan Follows today, since I was watching Anne With an E and I have so many thoughts. Just the appearance of what you see has such stark difference to how the newer Anne looks and it is incredible just hom huch difference it makes when you go from an 80s set with 80s cameras and everything to a set of the late 2010s. It's incredible.

Well as I was watching the film, I did think how terribly fast everything was progressing. There are SO many great scenes in Anne, but it felt like the film was constantly clopping along at a fast pace jumping time here and there, whereas Anne With an E seemed too much to the other side where I was thinking "how can they draw these things out for so long?"

One thing I love about Anne With an E, though, is how they take the time to build the minor characters. :} (The major ones, too, actually.) I was so excited when Matthew mentioned Jerry the farmhand in the movie, but he was literally never in a scene. He was just mentioned twice, whereas in Anne With an E, he is a real-time character and one of my absolute favourites if I'm honest.

The same thing goes for every one of the school-yard kids, including Gilbert. I didn't use to mind the lack of breadth and depth to Gilbert and Anne in their younger years, but I guess after seeing Anne With an E, I missed the backstory and multiple scenes that just weren't in Anne of Green Gables - the movie.

I wonder if it was because I had grown accustomed to Amybeth's Anne, or something else entirely, but seeing Meagan play younger Anne always felt a little "off" to me. Even though I think she is much lovelier than Amybeth's version. That said, Gilbert in the TV show is nicer-looking than Gilbert in the film, although neither of them are that great. Marilla is one and the same. XD

I hate Prissy and Mr. Phillips in both versions. :yuck:

Anyway, the nicest thing about Anne of Green Gables - the movie rather than Anne With an E has to be the wholesomeness. I can watch it with my whole family and not have to worry. It's beautiful and funny, uplifting and curious and there's no "modern nonsense" sewn into the pattern. Anne With an E seems to forget every so often that it is a period show based on an irrepressibly positive book / book series and instead it brings in all kinds of 21st century bull. I won't go into detail as I don't want my post to get deleted, but if you're over 19 you'll probably pick up on it if you know the original story and you watch the show. It's entirely unfortunate and I with the creators didn't see this show as an opportunity to indulge their own philosophies and use it as a vehicle to bring their ideals into the living rooms of houses all around the world.

The single part that I appreciated that they added was the bit where Anne "becomes a woman" for the first time. That is brilliant. Perhaps not too suitable if there is a wide male audience but if it's primarily a female audience, which I'm pretty sure it is, that will land /very/ well indeed. Lol

[weareuniqueandimportant]

We Finished Fate The Winx Saga Season 2. That Was Pretty Boring.

3 Very Important Woman Just Die. That Was Bland. All The Adult Characters Are Nothing But Evil Abuser Waste Garbage That Deserve To Die And Tbh So Is Every Other Character.

Wasn't That Bad Canceled There's Nothing More Peak Than The Ending Transformations.

Musa And Flora Were Unnecessarry. They're Nothing Compared To The Main Series Variants And They're Literally Not In The Ending Transformations Which Felt Like All The True Main Characters.

Musa Is Quite Whitewashed And Cringe. Flora Was Forced In And Has The Same Powers An Actually Fitting Main Character Does.

She Almost Died While Musa Loses Her Powers.

Aisha Was Better In Season 2 She's So Much More Complex. They Managed To Fix Her Iguess. Overall Her Bloom And Stella Can Compare To The Original Variants.

The Abuser Gasslight Was Insane. So Evil.

Further Proof Everything Is Like The Main Series Created By Abuser Males For Abuser Males Further Showcased Here That Was By Gross Abuser Bigot That Especially Hate Crazy People And Everyone Else...

Flora Was So Boring Oh My God. I Totally Reconize The Characters From The Other Ones But Not Flora And Musa. In The End That Whitewashing Was Way Too Cringe And Ruined Her. As Was That Forced Inclusion And The Way They Just Don't Evolve Closer To Their Real Variants Unlike The Rest.

Even Terra That Wasn't Anyone Before Is So Cool.

The Creators Are Abuser Bigot That Could've Never Handeled Writing Those Missing Characters.

And Ew There Was So Much Evil. So Cruel And Horrible...

The Story Was Just Bpd On Repeat And Worse Than The Main Series. How Is That Possible...

So Evil... Ew ><!!

So Much Sanism ><!! Omg Abuser Evil Eek Eek Eek ><!!

Btw Main Series Musa Felt Like A Second Main Character And Was Very Important And Unique. She's Even Dating The Vegeta.

Flora Has Never Had A Good Hand... In The Main Series She Was Always Left Single At First. She Was Less Important Than The Others.

Tecna's Exclusion Makes So Much Sense Aswell. How Much Was She Ever Given? The Most Uninteresting Boyfriend?

Aisha Meanwhile Was So Much Better Here. First She's Given An Important Role In Bloom's Social Circle She's The Main Character This Is A Big Deal. Now She And Stella Both Share The Slot. With Stella Being More Like Vegeta...

These 4 Really Are The Main Characters. The Other 3 Truly Are The Secondary Main Characters.

Yes. After That She's Much More Complex Than Before. And Much Much Better Than In The Main Series.

She's Hated. Crazy. Only A Racist Would Believe Before Was Good And This Isn't Especially After Season 2.

Quit Crying Bigot. I Know You Were Wanting To Call Me That So Badly...

Terra Is So Cool That's The Thing. The Others Are A Mess And Aren't Needed.

Afterall They Can Never Compare To Bloom.

New Characters Than Old Was So Much Better. Next Time Replace Sky/ Make Him Date Someone Else And Make Bloom Lesbian. This Is Her Destiny.

The Specialists Are So Lame They Made Up A Bunch And Only Kept Sky And Riven. Even Brandon And Helia Weren't Safe Ha.

Good Honestly. They're So Much More Cleaner Than Otherwise.

Comes To Show They're Unnecessarry.

As Are The Specialists. We Don't Need Army Men Police. We Don't Need Police Super Heroes.

We Already Have Yuck. Police Fairies...

The Bigotry Was So Cruel And Horrible...

As Is Most On This Planet They're All Abuser Bigot This Is Factual...

There Is No Innocence... They All Believe The Same Evil Evil...

They're Nasty... And Cruel... And Dirty... They Deserve So Many Bad Things... This Is Deeply Factual... Only A Bigot Would Dislike What's Here...

Good To Be Done. What An Evil Thing.

No More Please...

Bloom Really Said She Deserves Prison And That Is Always Justified... And Killed Herself In The End Saying That Was Justified Aswell... Out Of Deep Bigotry Torwards Crazy People And More...

Watch Out Makima... This Place Dislikes You...

They Want To Kill You... Just Like...

[monsterlibrarian]

Title: Storm Front (Audiobook)

Author: Jim Butcher

Genres: fantasy, mystery

Source: libby ebook (audiobook)

Rating: ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️

Comments: i wasn't sure how best to get the photo for this post, since even though i checked the audiobook out on my phone i ended up listening through the libby site on my computer instead. another reason to hate libby since it was so unresponsive and took ages to play or pause whenever i clicked the button. anyway, i figured the phone version is easier to read and has less wasted width space than the computer version, so i'll slide by on this technicality since it ultimately looks nicer. as for the book, it served its purpose of being something to listen to while minecraft tunneling pretty well. i liked that the magic seemed so large and that there was more to how it all worked than what was shown. alluding to the other parts in motion made the depth of it feel realistic. i thought the description of the crime scenes was cool (in a kind of gross horror way) and though i got lost at a point or two, i was still able to follow the investigation of the mystery pretty well. i felt kind of disappointed overall about the characters; the ones i liked the most or wanted to see more of were given rather little time in the spotlight and got harsh treatment. i wasn't really a fan of the main character even by the end of the book. every time i started to come around on thinking maybe he wasn't so bad, he'd go out of his way to say or do something sexist, homophobic, or just generally kind of creepy. he's clever and skilled with his magic, so it's interesting to see how he confronts problems, but when he's spending time with any of the many attractive women he encounters during the investigation he can't seem to go a single conversation without being a sleaze. the double standard of harry saying/doing sexual things or describing these women in a very sexualized way and this is supposed to read as him being cool or suave or an otherwise generally good character trait compared to the women characters who pursue sexuality being attacked or shamed or straight up killed throughout the story... this is the point in my review where i grab the author by the shoulders and shout as loud as i can, "be normal about women!!!!!!" i was told recently that the series starts getting good around the third book, and i really hope that also includes this aspect. it has the potential to be cool and has good enough worldbuilding bones that i kept forgetting it was set in chicago. i do plan on continuing to listen since i've still got more tunnels to dig, but i don't know that i'd recommend this book based on the standalone experience i've had with it. if the rest of the series improves or otherwise earns my trust, then yes. if every sympathy point earned contiues to be quickly redeemed for a grating yuck moment, then no. we'll see! i will say that it was fun to listen to as an audiobook though, and i got a smile whenever the reader (actor?) took a word at an unusual pace or mispronounced something or at one point creaked a chair in the background. it just made it feel very human and like the story was being told to me rather than beamed into my brain. it's a nice sense of connection that isn't a part of visually reading a text and i wasn't expecting to find here!

[b12deficient]

Book Review: The Wildings by Nilanjana S. Roy

It is an entertaining book, maybe a 3 out of 5, but most of this review will be negative and filled with my own frustrations. As always, there will be mild spoilers, but you won’t get anything more revealing than a generic blockbuster movie trailer. It’s the same old good vs evil story anyway.

To start off with something positive, the humour isn’t too bad. Some animals have pretty clever names. There’s Neferkitty, the queen. A pair of cats outside the court, called Affit and Davit. If I was forced to say something else which was positive, then maybe I would add that it’s fairly easy to read. And that’s it. 3…2…1…

Let the rant begin.

It is a YA plot through and through. Comically bad villains, who are just cats, but more evil. “Dozens and dozens” of cats from a single house, who somehow heavily outnumber the entire clan belonging to the Nizamuddin residences. But these are not just run of the mill evil cats, they have the darkest of hearts, the most twisted minds, cannot be reasoned with in any way and also kill at will, unlike our good carnivores who only do so when they are hungry. I have reached a point in life where I just can’t stand these LOTR knock-offs. They also did the Rohans coming to save the day thing. Yuck. And one sentimental death to round it all off.

The YA heroine, a kitten, is an “inside” cat, whose mother was killed when she was very young. Oh no! How woefully tragic, I was truly bawling my eyes out at this incredibly sad backstory that I’ve never come across in any story so far. Her power is to be able to do Force Projection like Luke Skywalker did in the Last Jedi ( fun fact: I’m pleased to tell you that I actually liked that movie). She is also agoraphobic, like that Woman in the Window. But she doesn’t really have to deal with that in this book. Zero conflict. There’s also a young and reckless kitten, fearless and always falling into trouble. Humans barely make an appearance in this book, except on the sidelines.

The fact that the book is set in Nizamuddin, in Delhi, doesn’t contribute anything to the book at all. It might as well have been set in some fancy-name fictional fantasy town and it wouldn’t have made a shred of a difference. Absolutely, nothing, either in the setting or in the mannerisms or dialogue of the cats to indicate that the story is taking place in Nizamuddin. Would it have killed her to incorporate a little bit of Hindi or Urdu? A cat named Qawalli, but with the same bland voice as any other. Nizamuddin played an equal role in enticing me to read the book, but it turned out to be a huge let-down. The narrative is so focussed that there isn’t much exploration that goes on. Humayun’s tomb got a couple of mentions. Our little protagonist has the entirety of Delhi to roam around, and all she does is go the zoo and come back. As a force projection, in case you forgot.

I hated how bland the action was. Instead of having any sort of existential crisis with the humans, just one petty cat fight or hunt after the other, which was incredibly boring and dull. As bad as this book review. I fail to understand why would anyone get any excitement out of a block of text with lame action manoeuvres. If only she had focussed more on the setting (refer to the para above, and please do the needful).

I’ll go to sleep. If you are a filthy lib, you can go get lost now. Shoo, scram!

Cats need their taurine, so the wild ones are obligated to hunt. I get it. But the author was obsessed over moralising their hunting. She had to find some way to separate these normal good cats and the evil bad cats. Anti-vegan dog whistles were peppered throughout the book. A literal ‘canines though’ argument was made when the Jedi Kitten has a brief moral dilemma about killing because a moth spoke back to her. It will probably be a topic of the next book too. Long story short, it’s in the kitties blood to kill, so we shouldn’t hold it against them. They only kill when they are “hungry”. But a point to be made, they aren’t as pathetic as the other cats who go through the garbages of humans, they actually hunt. They quickly end their prey. While they like to think it’s out of respect, it is because they don’t want any injuries (the book actually mentions this, but it is forgotten pretty quickly). There were many instances where Neelanjana explicitly points out her characters having a dilemma of their prey pleading for their lives, but proceeding to kill anyway because it’s in the cats’ blood. This makes sense for cats, but this obsession over their trait in a fantasy novel written by human made me uncomfortable. I doubt this book was written by someone with any regard for animal rights. She probably sees her situation akin to that of a cat. Just another “animal lover” who only has surface-level concern for cats and dogs, without any regard for the torture and pain that they inflict on animals through their habits. While I was glad that the concept of the zoo as a prison was explored, she “both sides” the argument by having a character expound on how her son is safe in the zoo unlike the wild where there are so many dangers.

And after having written this much, I’m still planning on reading the next book in the duology. There are suggestions of a conflict with the humans, along with the predators, so I do think it’s worth checking out. Not like I’m paying for it anyway. The blurb promises a surprise about the origins of the Jedi kitten, how unique and exciting!

So yeah there it is. I wonder what kind of person has stuck around till the end of a shitty review of a random book that nobody has heard of. Go do something productive. Like. Subscribe. Comment. Hit the bell icon. Don’t hit me.

[nahasforless]

Lost planet 2 pc scene skip pc

#LOST PLANET 2 PC SCENE SKIP PC HOW TO#

#LOST PLANET 2 PC SCENE SKIP PC PC#

#LOST PLANET 2 PC SCENE SKIP PC PS3#

Where it mostly improves is the gameplay, youre more mobile, agile on the battlefield, theres dedicated sprint option, gunplay feels more solid with again pretty well done sound effects and decent, weighty overall gun feel for a third person shooter. Gladly missions themselves can be pretty fun, there's enough cool setpieces along with giant Akrid boss battles. The single player campaign simply plays out like co-op one, only with AI squad mates which are not as useless as many say they are, they can get stuff done, but of course they can be a pian in the butt often aswell. While story and campaign wise its not as good as first Lost Planet, there's barely any focus on narrative or story at all, youre just playing as certain grunt from different factions throughout the different missions with a cinematic cutscene popping up time to time trying to make it look like more tradiotional story based game. While story and campaign wise its not as good as first Lost From what semt a guilty pleasure game i honestly got good amount of fun out of it. … Expandįrom what semt a guilty pleasure game i honestly got good amount of fun out of it. But everything around that core is just unintuitive, garbled and more of a nuisance. All in all I praise it for its solid core consisting of a unique take on shooter/japanese arcader with great design and gameplay. Most elements in the game you have to figure out and that is just not fun.

#LOST PLANET 2 PC SCENE SKIP PC HOW TO#

I don't like hand-holding but come on give me a few required headers and tips instead of just thrusting me into a situation with a mission I am not sure how to achieve. Third is how little the game guides you when playing.

#LOST PLANET 2 PC SCENE SKIP PC PC#

Maybe they work on console, I don't know: but on PC it requires some tinkering and simple grinding to get used to them and see them as barely decent. Second are the controls which are basically yuck. I struggle to remember a game with worse menus. First off the menus and interface: on PC it is just retarded, convoluted, overly designed, poorly designed, unintuitive, etc. exactly what's wrong? Well everything *around* the game is wrong and drags it down. So I'm raving on and on about how great this game is. You either like it or not: but it's not a bad thing. I don't really get the story to be honest but that's a japanese thing: never expect to truly understand the whole story. Then if that's not enough there's also the graphics and the designs: the japanese flair a lá overman king gainer and other related styles is simply nothing I have ever seen in a game. It is a pure and great hybrid and the gameplay mechanics are exciting and very rewarding: an A rating for that I'll tell you. Nonetheless I believe it gets the credit it deserves for what it does well, let's go through that first: I am absolutely blown back by how well your typical western-styled shooter meets the japanese adventure and arcade elements that is so unique to our asian friends. Nonetheless I believe it gets the I agree with the reviews: this game has a few glaring faults that really get on my nerves when playing it. I agree with the reviews: this game has a few glaring faults that really get on my nerves when playing it. It's fun, which is all that should matter. Many critics picked on Lost Planet for being faceless or lacking engaging characters but that's moot, really - it's not that sort of game. I don't have a problem with Lost Planet 2 because of its arcade sensibilities, it's not attempting to tell you a story with the scope and pathos of classic literature, all you need from the premise is to pick up a gun, dash through wonderfully crafted (if at times linear) environments and shoot at some of the biggest and best-designed alien creatures ever put on a computer screen. The design, interface and other issues noted with console versions were (for me) non-existent. Despite having not played the first Lost Planet game at the time and the almost unanimous negative-to-average critical reaction, the stunning visuals and trailer prompted me to buy this game and I'm definitely glad I ignored those reviews.

#LOST PLANET 2 PC SCENE SKIP PC PS3#

Despite In the space of time it took to get from XBOX and PS3 to Windows, LP2 was treated to some of the pickiest reviews I've ever seen. In the space of time it took to get from XBOX and PS3 to Windows, LP2 was treated to some of the pickiest reviews I've ever seen.

[emwritesstuff]

housesitting | bucky barnes x reader

summary: Housesitting for Steve Rogers has many perks. The man has the comfiest bed you’ve ever slept in; his coffee machine is top tier; and he also pays for every single streaming service you could think of, because he doesn’t wanna miss anything.

You can hardly see how Bucky Barnes stumbling into his apartment at 3 am with multiple wounds is one of them. But I guess it might be?

notes: this is my attempt at a more ~comedy centered one-shot, with some making out in the middle because uh, who doesn’t like that? In other news, reader is Chaotic. Canon mcu (Infinity War/Endgame) is non-existent in this.  (word count: 3K)

warnings: language, mentions of blood, gunshot wounds, general patching up shenanigans, some making out/grinding but not quite third base

[PART 2: breaking and entering]

Housesitting for Steve Rogers has many perks. The man has the comfiest bed you’ve ever slept in; his coffee machine is top tier; and he also pays for every single streaming service you could think of, because he doesn’t wanna miss anything. An old popsicle thing, you assume.

It’s peaceful, too. The neighborhood is nice and quiet, the other tenants are either extremely polite or too scared of Captain America to make much noise. You’ve had very nice stay-cations at his place, where you were free to choose to binge The Office while eating an entire pizza in the spam of 2 episodes or taking advantage of the quiet to write your grad-school thesis.

So when a loud BANG almost makes you drop your coffee mug on the floor, your spidey senses are immediately on alert. You don’t care how many times Peter insisted that it wasn’t a thing, your arm hairs stood up and your heart started hammering on your chest all the same.

You contemplate squeezing under the bed, turning off the show that was long abandoned and hiding until whatever it is goes away, but before you can do any of that, a string of sharp cursing and soft thumps and thuds snaps you out of your fear.

Maybe it’s a burglar. You could take a clumsy burglar, easy.

Now feeling like Tony had just welcomed you into the Avengers, you hop off Steve’s bed and let your baby Yoda socked feet carry you stealthily into the living room, holding a table lamp as if it was a baseball bat.

Everything is quiet, with no signs of forced entry at the door (you remember someone on Law and Order using those words), and in the dark you don’t notice the bloody trail coming from the kitchen.

You’re imagining things, then. When was the last time you slept? You don’t even feel tired, but you know sleep deprivation always gets you all kinds of crazy.

It happens the second your arm falls to your side and your posture shows the slight of relaxation. A strong arm around your neck and a hand against your mouth to muffle the screaming.

In the quiet of Steve’s apartment building, there is only you shrieking and howling and thrashing against the hold of a stranger.

“Don’t fuckin’ move.” You still.

And then you bite into the hand that is muting you, immediately regretting it when your teeth sink into something hard. Metal? Concrete? Ouch. You resume your resistance, determined, and is shoved away.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Who the fuck are you.” His voice is gruff and dulled over the mask he is wearing, and as you’re taking this giant of a man in, you notice it.

The metal arm. The strapped leather jacket. The tortured blue eyes.

Winter Soldier.

The intruder is James “Bucky” Barnes, Steve’s best friend. That’s who the fuck it is.

“I’m Steve’s house sitter! I even have a key.” You say, with arms in front of you to signal no harm but inching closer to the table lamp with every step.

“House…sitter? Where’s Steve?”

“Who knows. Maybe a mission. He texts me, I come over.” You shrug, and put a chair back to where it was before it got knocked over.

“I don’t believe you. Where is Steve?”

“Listen, I don’t know, okay? I guess he’s just out for a few days. I don’t ask. He just lets me stay in here so I can water the plants and feed the Avengers.”

“The– the what?”

“The Avengers! The fish, see.” You point to the aquarium, where a handful of colorful fish swam peacefully in.

Peace. So much for your peace, because now what you have is a surly super soldier eyeing the fish tank like it was the most loathsome thing in the entire universe, except maybe for you.

“I hate this thing. Naming them makes it even worse.” He trudges back to the kitchen, stomping on the floor like he was on a parade.

So much for the other people’s peace, too.

“Hey! Sir. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s 3 in the fucking morning?” You sass, putting your hands on your hips when he retorts that yeah, he does know. “What are you even doing here?”

“Back from a mission.” He grumbles without looking at you, as if you’re the one who stumbled into his place in the middle of the night.

It wasn’t your place, but still.

“Don’t you have a house?” There’s a part of you that knows pushing the Winter Soldier’s buttons is asking for trouble, but your tired and confused brain decides to ignore it.

“You interrogating me? I need a motherfucking– ” He wheezes and nearly doubles over, holding on the door frame between the living room and the kitchen. You finally spot the blood, both on the tiles and seeping out of the Soldier’s jacket and pants.

He’s hurt. Shit.

“– first aid kit.”

“You need a motherfucking hospital!” You shrill, panic chilling your bones. You don’t do blood. Or any kind of wound, for that matter.

The man ignores you, opening up cabinets hastily. You huff, and walk past him to get to the actual home of the first aid kit. Steve’s oldest, closest friend and can’t even find a box with pharmaceutical supplies in his kitchen. You slam it on the counter next to him.

“You’re welcome.”

“Zip it.”

Just a look from him is enough to render you speechless, and not in the good, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of way. You’re positive that one swat of that metal arm and you’ll be flying out of the window.

He begins by removing his mask, revealing a handsome face underneath, and you try your best to focus on how dark and menacing it looked while locked in that scowl of his. Then, he unbuckles his jacket and discards it on the floor, it coming to a stop next to your feet.

Oh man, he’s naked. Well, not really, just the incredibly toned, strong and muscular top half of him, but you stare wide-eyed as if he was.

“See somethin’ you like, doll?” He quips, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, and you turn your back to him, mostly to hide your own embarrassment.

“No.” You cross your arms resolutely, because you definitely don’t think he’s attractive. He is a rude, grumpy, private-property-invader-bastard. Doll. Yuck.

You hear a rumble come out of his chest. Is he laughing? Shithead. Other noises follow, wheezes, small grunts and the tinkle of metal on the marble counter.

A particular pained grunt makes you turn, and you see Barnes with his body twisted, trying to reach a bloody hole on his back. It would be funny if he wasn’t trying to poke a gunshot.

“Do you need… help?” You ask, against your own will, only to be met with his icy gaze.

“No.”

“Come on, you can’t even reach that.”

Another glare is shot your way, and you quirk your brow up. He did need the help, you think, because aside from the muscles and the sweat making him glisten like a delicious – wait what – glazed donut, the man looked like hell.

“…fine.” He slides a pair of surgical prongs, something you identify in your head as oversized tweezers, and you instantly regret your offer. Pressing an iodine-soaked cotton ball to a wound, sure. But not this.

He turns his back to you without a word, supporting himself on the marble. You think that he’s about to make a dent on the goddamn stone if he keeps holding onto it that hard.

“Ah, fuck. Shit. Fuck. Ugh, it’s so gross. Fuck.”

It’s the most horrifying thing you’ve ever done, but you try your best to get to the bullet quickly, so very thankful that Barnes holds himself perfectly still for you. “Got it!”

He lets out a long breath when you toss the prongs and the bullet on the counter with the rest and resumes his cleanup. So, he’s not even going to say thanks. Great.

You try not to think about how you still want to make conversation while you hurriedly scrub the blood from your hands, because aside from the hostility and him jumping on you as a meet-cute, the guy peeks your interest.

Steve has said Barnes is nice, too, and you believed Steve, because he’s basically incapable of lying. Or maybe because he’s pretty. Both, for sure.

With your hands now clean, you turn to him, mouth open with some kind of conversation starter that is immediately forgotten.

Oh man, he’s naked. For real this time.

Bucky Barnes has stepped out of his pants while you were overthinking by the sink, now standing in only a pair of black boxers. It’s like he feels you staring at his butt, because he turns to you with raised eyebrows.

“Last one’s on my thigh. I got it.” He’s holding the prongs this time, and you’re glad you don’t have to do anything, because your face next to that groin might make you go into spontaneous combustion.

“Yeah.”

He hums. You hope all of this is a fever dream.

“Isn’t there a med bay at–”

“Don’t like people prodding and pokin’ at me.” His comment makes you grimace. He’s the Winter Soldier, damn it. You know the stories, everyone does. Of course he doesn’t like being prodded.

He looks at you funny, probably because you went dead quiet. You don’t want him to think you feel pity, because you don’t, but god don’t you feel bad for poking him now, even if verbally.

“I’m gonna – grab one of Steve’s – uh. Dude you need to put some clothes on. Jesus.”

He laughs at you again, which you’re thankful for because anything is better than the awkwardness of the other subject. You pick up a black pair of sweatpants that was so deep in one of Steve’s drawers that you know he’d have to have bought it and never had the guts to put it on. This one would do just fine.

If there is one thing Steve Rogers isn’t, is a black sweats guy.

“Here.” You deposit the sweats and a white tee on the counter, one of the millions that you found inside the closet. Barnes was patching himself up now, bandages wrapped everywhere on his body.

Got his ass kicked good. You shudder when you imagine the state of the other guy.

He eyes the clothes, and saying nothing, returns to his task. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“I didn’t ask you to help me.”

“Yeah, but I did anyways! ‘Cause I’m stupid, I guess.” You almost hurl a dirty plate at him when he scoffs, muttering a yeah, guess you are. “God, why are you so grumpy?”

“Well you try being shot 5 times and see how cheerful you are after.”

“You got shot 5 times?!”

Looking at you from between his brows, the Soldier nods to the five mangled bullets sitting on the counter. You think about how you’ve made yourself a sandwich just hours earlier on the exact same spot. You want to puke.

Taking time to look around yourself, you can finally grasp the state of Steve’s ever-so-pristine kitchen, now a mess of dirty clothes, blood and your own few dishes from the night before. You don’t even think about what you’re doing as you move, gathering every single cleaning supply you can find, and start working on the cleanup.

You’re struggling, because obviously you’ve never done this before. Anyone can tell, from your soft abdomen and your severe lack of muscle, that you’re not an Avenger. Sure, you work with them, but you’re usually neck deep into advanced tech, not in the gym by any means. Also, you don’t do blood.

That means you have to think about something else, anything else, while you’re manically cleaning the floor. One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, the Winter Soldier’s tight ass, four sheep, get it together goddamnit –

“Leave it. I’ll clean.”

You huff, he huffs back, and you look up at him.

“You got shot five times. Go sit down or something before you blow your back too, grandpa.” You call him that to assure yourself that he is old, like actually super old, and thirsting over him is weird. Even weirder when he’s all bandaged and bleeding. And still shirtless. Shit.

He mumbles something that you ignore, and stomps off. You think you actually did a pretty decent job with the cleaning, considering.

You need coffee. Definitely an entire bottle of vodka too, but there was no alcohol in this god’s good home, so you settle for the brew that you made earlier. You pour a mug for Barnes too, because you’re nice like that, and amble into the living room to find him slumped on a chair.

“Coffee?” You start, settling his mug on the table next to him.

“It’s almost 5 a.m.”

“Guess I’m up early for once. Maybe I should go for a run.”

He snorts, and opens one eye to inspect you from where he is. He reaches out for the coffee, using his metal hand, and you consider the two ways this could go.

He’d shatter the mug right then and there. Or, he’d throw it at you. Your jaw goes slack at what he actually does, sirens blaring loudly in your head. Truly astonishing, the most bewildering turn of events.

He drinks from it.

“Thanks. Quit staring at me.”

“Wow, Mr. Winter knows the magic words. Mr. Barnes. Sergeant?” You’re thinking aloud, abandoning any trace of sanity you’ve been holding. You even sit on the couch next to his armchair.

“It’s Bucky,”

Again, absolutely bewildering. You must be going insane.

“– and you talk too much.” He finishes, with an end-of-story tone, and returns to his rest. At least that felt like normality.

“Bucky. Bucky.” You roll the name on your tongue, feeling a weird buzz start to take over you. It grows stronger when you notice he’s looking at you, one brow quirked as if you lost your marbles. “You know, Bucky, this is definitely not how I saw my night going. Home invasion, playing surgeon – not my usual kind of fun.”

You get up, maybe because you decide that you – and Bucky – need a blanket, or maybe because you need a distraction from his chest going up and down like it’s got a business with making you want to touch it.

You’re not a slut, but who knows? Jim Halper would get it.

“You’re that kid, aren’t you? Stark’s assistant.” Bucky’s voice, low and husky, makes you jump. You look at him, your eyebrows furrowed slightly.

It’s surprising that he knows you, considering. He’s – well, he’s basically a celebrity, if ex-assassins could be considered that. You’re only Tony’s techie, and you and Bucky have never actually met, not even in the few parties you had attended to stop your boss from nagging you that you had to actually go out and have some fun sometimes, because you’re still young and cute and you need to enjoy yourself before you get saggy and bitter.

Jokes on him, you were born bitter.

“I’m no kid.”

“Nice socks.”

You wiggle your toes and it makes the ears of one of the baby Yodas move.

“Still not a kid! If you wanna be sad and wear your sad, plain socks, Bucky, that’s entirely your choice.” You said, pointing your index at him, making circles in the air with it to really get your point across.

Bucky smirks, and you go up to him with the two blankets on your arms. He’s blocking the door with that bulky body of his, and you raise your eyebrows quizzically.

“I’ll have you know – meeting Steve’s annoying, mouthy, pretty house sitter is not how I saw my night going either.” Bucky puts a doubtful tone on house sitter, as if he still doesn’t get exactly what it means.

You blink. You’re positive you heard it wrong. Is he… is this flirting?

“You think I’m pretty?”

“I called you annoying and mouthy too.”

“Yeah, I mean I know that much about me.” You chuckle, rolling your eyes. “The pretty part is new though.”

Bucky still hasn’t moved from the doorframe, and you find yourself staring up at him. He is inches away now, pupils blown wide in the darkness, and you can see a ring of steely blue around them. He licks his lips, and you’re drawn in.

The maelstrom in his eyes sends you spinning.

“I think someone should say you’re not see through, much less–”

Bucky shuts you up by pressing his lips onto yours, a slow, exploratory kiss, the tenderest he’s been all night. His metal hand rests on your lower back, making you shiver at the cool touch.

You’re all panting and eagerness when you cup his face with both hands and press your body against his. You need to deepen this kiss. You haven’t drooled over Bucky Barnes all night to keep things lovey-dovey.

He responds in earnest, pulling you closer. The flesh hand on the back of your neck is a stark contrast against the chill of the other. You and Bucky stumble from the corridor and back to the living room, knocking over a few of Steve’s decorations in the process.

“I don’t feel as bad for this one.” You mumble against his lips, stopping to look at a particular framed picture of Captain America in uniform, surrounded by every single counterfeit Cap in Times Square.

“S’ one of his favorites.”

You nod, you’re aware. Steve thinks it’s the most hilarious thing ever.

Bucky’s breath tickles the hairs on your neck when he continues.

“I hate it.”

“Yeah.”

You capture his lips again, and you two resume your chaotic redecorating. You’re thankful for Bucky’s strong arms keeping you from falling over, because at this point you’re not sure if your legs work anymore.

He takes you with him when he drops down on the same armchair from earlier, and the dizzy spell you find yourself in is broken when you hear him groan.

Right. He’s battered up and stuff.

“Shit, Bucky, I’m sorry–”

“No.” He pulls you close again, and guides your body to straddle one of his thighs. “Stay right here, doll.”

Doll. God-fucking-damnit.

His hand moves under the elastic band of your pants, oh my god you’re making out with Bucky-Hot-Piece-Of-Ass-Barnes in your wiener dog pajama bottoms, and finds the hem of your underwear. He pulls on it, and you yelp when he lets it snap against your side.

He laughs, and you vibrate along with his chest.

You find yourself grinding on his leg, sucking on his bottom lip, raking your nails along his shoulders, doing anything, everything for more, trying to burn the taste and the feel of him on your memory. He moves on to kiss your neck and you sigh, tugging on his hair and making sure you’re holding on for dear life.

Your eyes flutter open, enough to see the fish Avengers in their tank.

The Avengers.

Steve Rogers is an Avenger. So is Bucky, technically.

You’re making out with Bucky. One of his hands is on your boob.

This is Steve’s apartment.

You manage to sober you up enough, despite Bucky’s constant attacks of open mouth kisses and bites on your neck.

“I don’t think Steve would – if we–” You lift your head begrudgingly to look at him. “You know, on his armchair.”

“Right.” He didn’t seem convinced, but his hand moved up from your butt to your waist again.

Steve Rogers was probably miles away right now and still cockblocking you.

Even worse, his furniture was cockblocking you.

Stupid star-spangled IKEA shopper.

And his hot best friend. Who’s currently smiling at you in a such a way that makes you almost abandon all comradery towards Rogers and the sanctity of his place.

You debate getting up, but resign yourself to burying your nose in the crook of Bucky’s neck and just staying there, because honestly, when are you going to have the chance to do this again. Never, that’s when.

Also, he’s surprisingly comfortable for someone with a metal arm and such a jacked-up body.

“You’re sleepy.”

“No, I’m like, super awake.”

It’s a lie, because now that the sparks have flown and the rush of blood in your ears gave way to the quietness of the early morning, you feel yourself drifting, on and off, surprising yourself when you come to once and find that Bucky is still there, warm under you.

“Sleep, doll. I need it too.”

You shift, ready to let his rhythmic breathing lull you to sleep. The last 75 sleepless hours catch up with you.

“Bucky? If you want to break into someone’s house again sometime – I have a first aid kit too. Just sayin’.”

[restapesta]

hii emina!! #14 for valentine’s day 💌 (for the february ask meme) <33

Tami couldn't help but feel fucking jealous. Offended too, for that matter.

Lip forgot fucking Valentine's Day—Valentine's day—and now Tami was forced to sit in the kitchen with the gathered-around Gallagher & Co, watching how Ian and Mickey annoyingly proved the fact that she could do so much better than fucking Lip.

For fuck's sake, he didn't remember goddamn Valentine's day. It wouldn't have been a big deal had he not almost forgotten their anniversary, too. Tami got that shit was stressful these days—that Lip wasn't all that happy with his delivery-boy job and their 'temporary' stay at the Gallagher house with his abundance of siblings, but seriously. That didn't mean she had to sit around stoically on fucking celebrate-your-love day, knowing she had been forgotten, while simultaneously watching the it couple of their family making kissy faces at each other.

Maybe they weren't making kissy faces, exactly—Tami would pay to see Mickey do anything in that realm, really—but did they have to be so obnoxiously in love? All while Tami was mourning her own loss of a Valentine?

She wasn't a teenager anymore, goddamn it, but she deserved nice things, at least once or twice a year. Some fucking day where she could feel special and completely in love, despite living with ten other people and kind of, sort of being in debt.

Tami was in love with Lip. She was fairly certain he was in love with her too, but did he have to forego this one thing from his memory? Did he have to invite Mickey and Ian over for a family dinner to rub salt into the wound?

Tami was fucking fine with Ian and Mickey on most days—it wasn't even as if she saw them all too often now that they had moved out (she even sort of missed them)—and their displays of affection were more sweet to her than anything.

It was cute seeing Ian pull Mickey into a kiss randomly before he went off to work at the warehouse. Or Mickey wrapping his hands around Ian's waist while they cooked dinner together, prolonging the creation of the simplest of meals, like boxed mac-and-cheese, just so they could hang around each other domestically, a little bit longer.

Nobody minded it all too much when they did those small things, and they were pretty much used to the constant sex-talk, however inappropriate and explicit. Somehow even the never-ending bickering stopped bothering them so much.

But god-fucking-damn-it, why did they have to rub it in her face now?

Ugh, fine, we get it, you're celebrating Valentine's day like a normal couple, being all lovey-dovey and shit. We get it.

They probably spent the entire day being sickly sweet and in love, like fucking teenagers. So gross.

Why the actual fuck did Lip forget?

Tami shot daggers Ian and Mickey's way, watching as they, in the middle of the Gallagher cluster-fuck—they were having dinner like usual, a cacophony of noises filling the slightly-renovated space up, something Tami had already gotten used to—talked lowly amongst each other, slight smiles on their faces.

They were so happy about fucking nothing as they sipped on respective beers, matching rings glinting on their fingers, now blinding to Tami's eyes when they had only been pretty before.

When would Lip propose?

Nope, nope, nope. Back to the current married couple, Tami thought.

They pulled apart, their heads no longer huddled together in some secret, husband talk. Ian placed bread onto Mickey's plate, reaching across for the salt, murmuring something about, Mickey liking everything unbelievably salty like a crazy person.

Fuck off, Gallagher. At least I don't like spicy shit.

Well, I don't think you should be surprised I like spicy things. I married you, didn't I?

A beat as they stared at each other lovingly—yuck, ew, disgusting—and then came Mickey's reply.

Sap.

Her eyes narrowed impossibly as she watched them steal fucking glances when the other one wasn't looking. Fucking glances, like teenagers who just discovered their crush liked them back and were about to have their first fucking kiss.

Ugh, why did they have to be so goddamn in love all the time?

Tami even remembered meeting Mickey for the first time, thinking how there was no way in fucking hell he and Ian were together. No way they were anything more than, what, fuck-buddies?

She also remembered the look Mickey wore once Ian entered the room, in all his beautiful glory, his entire face just lighting up like a fucking street lamp when the sun goes down. Eyes crinkling at the corners, an upturn of his mouth, a goddamn gleam appearing in his features.

Tami couldn't believe that the guy who literally just got out of prison was staring openly at his—boyfriend?—with so much intensity and love. The moment Tami had slipped out of view, she saw them share a kiss, all smiley, and shit.

She couldn't believe it then, but she could believe it now.

Why were they so in love?

How could somebody be so in love?

Tami had fallen in love a couple of times. She'd had unrequited crushes and first boyfriends, and older men who appeased to her daddy issues—still, she'd never quite had what Ian and Mickey had. Not that she thought anybody did.

Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she interrupted whatever conversation the two men in question were landing. They were talking still, bodies practically pressed together as they got unnaturally close at the dining table.

Tami was curious. She wanted to know.

She wanted to know how. How in the holy hell did somebody fall in love so fucking hard that they never let each other go? That they went through every single fucking obstacle they stumbled upon, still walking out alive in the end?

With Lip and their relationship, it was just good until it wasn't and until Tami was a second away from picking up their child and walking away, no matter how good of a father to her child her boyfriend was, and how much she actually loved him.

With Debbie and Sandy, it was being attached by the hip, together in all ways, until all of a fucking sudden, Sandy was gone. Gone from their lives as she had never even been there, replaced by somebody completely insane.

There was Carl, who Tami had never even seen in a committed relationship.

She didn't even want to mention fucking Frank and Monica if the stories Lip had told her were any true.

So, Tami asked.

"Can you guys tell me something," Her tone was only slightly accusing, the bitterness seeping through as she found herself going through a third bottle of Old Style. Even Lip raised his eyes up from the food and over to look at Tami as she addressed everyone's favorite gay couple.

"How in the holy fuck do you manage it?"

Ian and Mickey shared a glance—a fucking glance like they were reading each other's minds—before Ian raised an eyebrow.

"Manage what?"

"Being this seemingly perfect couple."

Lip nudged her foot in question just as Mickey snorted, placing the beer away from his lips so he could properly laugh. Ian rolled his eyes at it.

"We're not fucking perfect," was Mickey's simple answer.

Tami shook her head. "No. No, listen. I get that you're not perfect but I just don't get how. How do you just have this relationship?"

Ian seemed confused. "And what do you think this relationship is?"

"Do you guys even hear yourselves ninety percent of the fucking time?"

Debbie snorted at that. All eyes went to her. "Course they don't. They probably wouldn't be doing them if they did."

"What are we doing?" Mickey asked, and Tami scoffed when she noticed him moving his chair slightly away so he wasn't practically sitting in Ian's lap.

"Why are you asking this shit?" Lip whispered from beside her, apprehension in his gaze. Tami hoped he was slightly offended.

She was really fucking offended.

So, she continued, downing her beer in almost one go.

"I'm talking about how you're joined at the hip."

Ian shook his head. "No, we're not."

Liam made an 'eh' motion with his hands, chiming in, "You live together, you work together. You probably spent the entire day together."

Tami nodded at the boy in agreement. "How do you not get, like, bored of each other?"

They briefly shared another look before Ian shrugged. "I like hanging around him. Mickey's fun company."

Tami groaned, not realizing how they managed to just be so casual about things that didn't make sense to her.

"See?" She said. "I'd probably die if I had to spend more than a couple of hours with the same person, let alone my entire fucking day."

"We get annoyed with each other," Ian defended. "We fight, like, all the time."

Mickey shot him a glare. "Not all the time. Just when you're being an annoying bitch."

"Of when you're being an annoying bitch, Mr. Know-it-all."

"Fuck you, I do know it all."

Ian took a sip of his beer. "Uh-uh. Mr. Milkovich, knows everything about everything."

"Well, I gotta know shit if I wanna put up with your ass the rest of my life."

Ian's face softened suddenly from the playful bickering, sending Mickey a soft smile.

"What are you smiling at, dork?"

Ian's happy expression didn't falter. "You said the rest of your life."

Mickey rolled his eyes. "Duh? Thought we were married?"

"Just," Ian shrugged. "Makes me happy to hear it."

Then they smiled at each other all soft, and Tami just barely suppressed a gag. She felt like she'd just been dumped and was forced to attend some love rally.

How to feel single 101.

"Do you, like, not see my point here?"

Mickey looked towards her, eyes narrowing slightly. "Why do you care so much, right now? It's not that big of a deal that Ian's a complete and utter sap," He shot a playful look in Ian's direction. "We're married and we've been together for a fucking while. We're allowed to act..."

Mickey hesitated.

"We're allowed to be in love without worrying whether or not we'll be judged for it or fucking get told to stop." He cast his eyes downward. "We've had enough of that shit already."

It wasn't silent for long, but Mickey's words rang loud in Tami's ears.

She didn't know a lot about Ian and Mickey during the first years of their relationship—she had only met them after fucking ten years of being together, after all—but she knew enough to be able to say with confidence that it couldn't have been easy. And knowing that, she could easily tell how she was being somewhat of a nagging bitch.

"Don't worry," Tami said softly. "I'm not judging you. Just," She sighed loudly before continuing, "admiring the way you're just completely enamored with each other. It makes you wonder, you know? What you could have."

The two seemed somewhat eased with that, smiles appearing on their faces as they looked at each other, like they knew that what Tami was giving them was a compliment, not judgment. But then, Tami's words set in.

All eyes went to Lip.

Tami's own widened.

"I did not mean it like that!" She defended immediately, shifting so she could look at Lip who was more than hurt by the look in his eye. Tami spoke to him as she said, "It's just that, today's fucking Valentine's day, and—"

"Today's Valentine's day?"

It was Ian who asked out of the blue, and she turned to look at him, wondering what he was talking about. He was looking at Mickey who seemed just as confused.

Of course it was Valentine's day. Tami had been bitter the entire day because it was fucking Valentine's day.

"It is?" Mickey said, eyes going warily towards Ian.

"So, we just, uh, forgot about it?"

Mickey nodded, a weird look on his face like he had forgotten their anniversary or some shit. "I guess so."

Tami was just about to open her mouth. Just about to ask if they really didn't spend the day being lovey-dovey with each other since it was Valentine's day, but rather because every day was obviously Valentine's day for them, when Lip spoke.

"Today's the thirteenth, Tami, for fuck's sake. Valentine's day is tomorrow." He smiled at her, seemingly catching onto why she had been so inquisitive in the first place. "Don't worry, I didn't forget."

Tami's mouth fell open and she only managed a simple 'oh'. Lip seemed content. Not at all caught by surprise at her statement. Maybe he really hadn't forgotten.

"Well, uh," She stammered out, heat crawling up her neck. "Good."

Lip smiled at her.

Ian's voice interrupted their staring contest.

"Wait, so you forgot Valentine's day?" He asked Mickey, an incredulous look on his face.

"Um, excuse me bitch, you forgot it, too!"

Ian scoffed. "So, you're telling me we'd wake up tomorrow and what, just continue on like always?"

"Well, you shoulda had something planned then, Ian!"

"Me? Why me?"

Mickey made a 'duh' face. "You fucking forgot it, too. Why would it be me?"

"Well, I'm sorry for having a million things going on right now."

"What million things, Ian? I'm literally with you every second of the day. What things?"

"Well," He started in a tone that didn't bode anything well. "you see, some of us—"

"Oh no, you fucking won't with that sentence."

Tami watched as the it couple fought over forgetting Valentine's day.

She laughed at the sight of them, bickering and shouting, not really angry but enjoying the fight.

They'd still be sappy as fuck the next day. They'd still be lovey-dovey, making kissy faces at each other.

This was what she meant.

They were best friends. Lovers. Partners. Always by each other's sides.

Tami looked over towards Lip.

Maybe she had one too.

[parvulous-writings]

Jesse McCree // SFW  alphabet

​Summary: A sfw A-Z for Jesse McCree, from Overwatch! 

Warnings: use of tobacco/smoking, brief mention of death.

Notes: My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist! 

Not my gif

A - Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) 

Jesse is pretty affectionate, especially when the pair of you are alone. One armed hugs, hair ruffles and head pats are his absolute favourite way to show you affection. On occasion giving you a kiss on the cheek when in public, and his kisses goodbye are always on the lips. Always. 

B - Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? Where does the friendship start?) 

McCree is quite often the sassy joker of a friend group, always pitching in a one-liner or two during even the most casual of conversations. He’s also quite the charmer, shamelessly flirting with you and occasionally others when the moment suits it. Though he will not hesitate to jump to your defense should someone else get too snarky with you. 

C - Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) 

Though he would never blurt out the fact, he loves cuddles. Curling up with you in a cosy corner, whether it be a bed or a cushioned seat, it’s one of his favourite things, he can’t deny it. He cuddles you by drawing you as close as he can so he can warm your body with his own, wrapping his arms firmly around you like a child with their favourite stuffie. 

D - Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking, cleaning, ect?) 

He isn’t all that fussed on settling down in any one place, so long as he can stay by you, I’d wager he’d be pretty content. He’s an alright cook, not the best but not the worst either. Cleaning, the man is far from mastering that skill (he leaves his clothes everywhere unless they’re going in the wash). 

E - Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) 

He’d be straightforward about it. Something along the lines of;  “Look, I care for ya, sugar, really I do... But I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways.”

F - Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? Do they wanna get married?) 

If you asked him, he’d probably just brush it all off with a smile. If he was honest though- commitment like engagement or marriage intimidated him a little bit. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you, it was more that he’s the kind of man to live more in the moment than to plan ahead. 

G - Gentle (How gentle are they both physically and emotionally?)

He’s fairly gentle, when he knows he needs to be. Other than that, he’s average on that kind of thing- a life in Deadlock Grange will do that to a man. 

H - Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it, and what are they like?)

Jesse is usually indifferent to hugs. Except goodbye hugs, he’ll never miss out on those, not in a million years. He knows how sporadic and random Death can be in life. 

I - I Love You (How fast do they say the “love” word?)

He doesn’t say it particularly quickly, but once he actually acknowledges his feelings for you, he’ll say it pretty often. Before you both go to sleep, before you go on a mission, etc. 

J - Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What are they like when jealous?)

McCree does tend to get jealous- usually he tries to hide it, figuring it’s an undesirable trait of his that you wouldn’t be too fond of. There are other times, however, when it does manage to get past his filter. He gets pretty agitated when jealous, and kind of possessive as well. 

K - Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

It depends on the situation. If you’re out in public, it’s usually a quick peck, on the cheek or chastely on the lips. If you’re alone, they last for a lot longer, and are much, much warmer, full of the love he often restrains from showing in front of others. 

L - Little Ones (How are they around kids?)

He’s more like an uncle figure than a father figure. He’s fun, and is relatively good with kids, but shouldn’t really be a prolonged role model for them. His role seems admirable, but it’s very morally grey, and should really only be tackled when the children are mature. 

M - Morning (What are mornings like with them?)

Slow, and sweet. Jesse usually lays in, even when he has things to do. He especially likes cuddling up to you when he’s still half asleep. “Best damn feelin’ in the world.” 

N - Nights (How are nights spent with them?)

Kind of like the mornings spent with him. Slow, quiet, and endearing. He likes just appreciating time with you, basking in your presence and showing you all the adoration you deserve. 

O - Open (When do they open up about themselves?)

Often late at night, when he’s tired and you’re both alone. It’s when his walls fall down, his exhaustion making them crumble. He also thinks that because you’re also probably tired, you’ll hardly remember his low, quiet voice spilling stories about his demons. 

P - Patience (How easily angered are they?)

This depends on how much sleep he’s gotten, or how stressed he’s been recently. If he’s gotten enough sleep and life has been easy on him, he’s like a lazy river- but then if he’s deprived of sleep and work has piled onto him, he’s more like the blazing fires of hell. 

Q - Quizzes (How much do they remember about you?)

He remembers a fair amount. Not everything- he’d say that’s impossible. But a reasonable amount. 

R - Remember (Favorite memory with you?)

When the two of you went to the Diner along Route 66. Though he personally doesn’t always like the place, the jokes you made that day still make him chuckle. You also fed him some apple pie and that’s something he’ll never let go of. 

S - Security (How protective are they?)

Rather protective. He gives you all the info and training you need- should you not know anything already- to defend yourself, but he is very much aware that he shouldn’t be too overbearing or try to fight every battle for you. 

T - Try (How much effort do they put in?)

Considering Jesse is more often than not a very laid back man, he puts in a good amount of effort. He remembers almost every important date for the pair of you- which is a little unusual in every other aspect of his life- and often makes time specifically for you. 

U - Ugly (What are their bad habits?)

He smokes. A lot. As in a lot a lot. He’s tried once or twice to give up, but he just can’t seem to.

V - Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

McCree isn’t vain per se, but he is certainly conscious of his appearance. He keeps as well groomed as he can between missions, but he knows he doesn’t always look the most pristine of men. 

W - Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He’d feel lonely. Really lonely. The same feeling he feels on solo scouting missions. He doesn’t like being away from you for too long. 

X - Xtra (Random HC)

This man shares every poncho/scarf he owns with you. Every single one. His favourite is the red one, he loves seeing you in it, but he thinks that the royal blue one he has looks best on you. 

Y - Yuck (Things they don’t like either in general or a partner?)

McCree is a lot of things, but a fussy man is not one of them.  Except when it comes to the coffee in Deadlock Grange. He hates it. 

Z - Zzz (Sleep habits)

This man sleeps like a rock. Almost nothing wakes him. Period. You could scream at him, flash a bright light in his face, this man isn’t waking from external stimuli. The only thing that wakes him is some of the nightmares he gets. 

[job-the-prosperous]

Job what do you eat down in the basement (aside from hearts, that is)? What is your favorite food?

And your favorite soup?

I don't know if I really need to eat. Everything is backwards and strange. Haven't slept in what feels like ages. Unless all of those deaths counted. I don't feel tired or hungry most times, but when it does catch up it hits hard. Cain had explained it like a reset. When we die or finish a run, our bodies return to a starting point when we first entered the basement. Bethany has said it's like a time loop. Though its all the same result no matter the method. I'm not sure what to believe in.

(story progression undercut)

Judas is convinced we're some lab rats in a messed up experiment to make super humans. Something about how we all got kidnapped after dying and being resurrected. It's really stupid if you ask me, but he's got Esau wrapped up in it. Don't really feel like going into whatever nonsense he's on about. You'll have to ask them personally.

Got side tracked there, sorry

Gah, there's to many good foods out there to choose! Chocolate cake is really good, I always get a nice big one with vanilla ice cream on my birthday. The old sushi place across my house is delicious. Anything with eel sauce is the best. My mom makes me a bologna and ketchup sandwich with fruit snacks and a juice box for school lunch. I'm always so happy when I see the freshly bought bologna in the fridge.

There's no way I could never pick only one. Hmm... I know, I can tell you what my favorite food item in the basement is instead. That's close enough, yeah?

Most of the common ones are gross. Pet food and rotten stuff isn't something I'd eat on normal terms. There's some peppers too, but they are way to spicy. Never been a fan of mushrooms. The milks are, weird, I guess. Oh! I know exactly what's my personal pick.

It's the closest thing to real food down here and it has so much flavor! I always feel super charged after eating it to boot. Angels must like it too, because the angel deal rooms show up more often. It can be a bit spicy for me, but I've built a tolerance. Mom and Dad always say I am to sensitive to spice anyways.

As for my preferred soup

Cause other than cereal, I don't like soup very much. All the vegetables and meat being wet and soggy, yuck. Noodles are okay, but I always pick around the extra stuff they put in. Reminds me of the crockpot meals my mom used to cook all the time. I hate those so dang much. The vegetables being soft feels weird on my tongue while tasting gross. Grown to miss those old meals though. Better the most of what I get now.

I've explored most of this current floor, didn't get anything out of it. There wasn't a single item room in sight. It was expected, everyone had told me about that already, but I like to remain hopeful. Taking it as a learning experience to get used to how much tougher everything is. I already know where the boss room is. Going to go straight there to get to the next floor. The faster I'm out of here the better.