#neurotypicals /derogatory

[system-of-a-feather]

I think a thing that is frustrating about neurotypicals as someone with autism and auditory / language processing issues (yet to be explicitly diagnosed to my knowledge) is how little they understand neurological differences and disabilities in processing things like hearing and yet they feel like they understand it to a sufficient level.

Case in point, today at work one ofbmy coworkers got all mad and offended because I was "rude and disrespectful" because in the morning, while thinking about the things I needed to do and thought of an important question before I could start my question to ask my mentor, asked the question and she was talking and thus I interrupted her. Yes, rude now that I KNOW she was talking and so I apologize, but I really hate the implied intent or lack of caring put with the "autistic interruption" shit

Ignoring social cues and rules aside, I *literally* didn't realize / process she was talking. Of course, I'm not deaf or HoH so I can't say that because "How could I not hear her? She was speaking loud enough to know" and there is a HUGE difference between *hearing* and *processing* and so when they always give the advise of be more considerate / think before you speak or tell you the social rule to not interript cause its rude, it doesn't help like at all

Cause yes, I KNOW that and I DO think before I speak. I just *literally* didnt process her speech as speech and it was filtered as white noise.

Its like going into a busy and loud club and saying "dont speak if the guy two tables down is talking"

Like yeah, maybe I COULD hear that he is talking among the 50000 other people talking, but Im not processing him talking as distinct from the ambient noise around me.

[someoneintheshadow456]

This took a long time (and the quiz itself is long), but after so many years of observing toxic femininity on Hellsite, I'm finally able to give a name to this type of woman.

And yes, many of these questions were based on real posts on this site plus real life experience.

[genderqueerpositivity]

I watched a clip of the podcast where Sia comes out as autistic earlier.

Firstly, that fucking movie she made was absolutely atrocious, and I personally feel that her attempts at apologizing to the autistic community in general--and the non-speaking community specifically--were extremely inadequate.

But...I am genuinely sympathetic. I can't sit here and act like coming to understand myself as autistic (and neurodivergent in general) wasn't one of the hardest and messiest periods of my life.

Because that shit is hard. It's an entire reconceptualization of self and identity, it's reprocessing all of your memories in a new light, and it's becoming newly hyper-aware of every little way in which you move, think, act, and feel differently from nearly everyone else around you.

It may not be true for everyone (or popular to admit), but during that time I experienced every single one of the five stages of grief at one point or another, and not linearly either. It was not a smooth road to acceptance. And I've been going through the same thing over the past few months, to a lesser degree, since my ADHD diagnosis.

I also know that when you're new to the neurodivergent communities, it can be very hard to discern good information and trustworthy voices from bad information and untrustworthy sources. Hell, I thought the Autism Speaks website was a good source until the first time I stumbled across a blog by an autistic activist.

And yet none of that is an excuse for continuing to be ableist after you've been told that your words and actions are ableism.

I've already seen folks saying that we don't claim her, and that is their right. But she will be associated with our community from now on, no less than Elon Musk (derogatory) is.

And so I hope that she will be better. Work on that internalized ableism. Learn to listen to multiply marginalized autistic people. Realize that there is power in telling her own story rather than co-opting stories that aren't your own to tell. Learn to apologize properly. Learn to interact with and be a part of the autistic community without defensiveness or resentment.

No small tasks there, because her reputation precedes her.

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

i kno you see the Gord as autistic, i think Duck and Percy are too, Duck is low support and Percy is high support (Ducks need is emotional regulation, Percys is instructions and tasks), Thomas is adhd

My dear Sir/Ma'am —

Every Single One of These Engines Is Neurodivergent™

[jellycreamjammedart]

You kinda give me ADHD vibes.

*has never ever been evaluated in their life*

[manglednatalia]

Started reading Homestuck, 1k pages in, the slurs encountered so far:

John: 3 r slurs

Dave: a variation of f word

[silverwarewolf]

i am SO tired about media

[cleaningmybraaain]

Seen and Not Seen is so fucking real

[system-of-a-feather]

Its so funny / bad just how much better I am at my job and communicating without my mentor ☠️ I can do my job if Im not being micromanaged with someone who cant be clear with their speaking and thus telling me to do things that they dont mean

This whole week my mentor is on vacation and I have the whole basement half to myself save for one guy who is two rooms down

And Ive had like NO issues

And Im like LOOK ITS CLEAR ITS NOT A ME ISSUE UGH

I hate neurotypicals I stg

JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN I SWEAR TO GOD

I wouldnt NEED the ADA to protect my position if NEUROTYPICALS COULD JUST COMMUNICATE IN A CLEAR MANNER AND NOT ASSUME EVERYONE CAN READ THEIR MIND I SWEAR TO GOD

Ugh this whole few months has been so painful and at the same time validating that I am, in fact, autistic and that the average neurotypical has a communication disorder I stg

(tldr im relieved to have a week off from neurotypical mentor)

[bootleg-nessie]

What if we rebranded “neurospicy” as a slur so that these neurotypical liberals (derogatory) will stop fucking using it

[alostlittleriverlotus]

the fact narcissists, antisocials, pwPDs are required to be in recovery and getting help to be treated with decent respect and still won't get that respect because people will see the disorder and instantly think abuser/not human/psychopath/sociopath in derogatory ways says a lot.

We are told to get help, but the ableism of (disorder) abuse prevents us from getting help. The demonization of us prevents us from even finding resourceful articles to help us. Many professionals won't treat personality disorders because of stigma. Yet we're told to get and help and are treated like we're the ones unwilling to get help. That it makes us less acceptable because we don't get help.

If we have to be perfect human beings in recovery and so mature and self aware and basically everything positive and nothing negative to be worthy of respect and still will have people bombard us for simply having a disorder, that is ableist. These expectations wouldn't be on neurotypical shitty people or those without personality disorders. And the group of those with BPD lumping themselves in with being "anti narcissist" do nothing. These same stereotypes were there for BPD. I've seen BPD called Bratty Princess Disorder, told that they can't love, been called an emotional leech for having BPD.

The requirement that we must all be perfectly recovered healthy people to be acceptable and not treated like dirt or like monsters is the ableism we are calling out. But then narc abuse folks will take their trauma and use it as an excuse for throwing us under the bus.

Guess what. My abusive mom has NPD. The NPD doesn't make her abusive. She simply is a narcissist (neutral usage.) She's not abusive cause she has NPD. It doesn't make her more likely to be abusive. Her NPD doesn't create a unique type of abuse. She's just my mom that's abusive that has NPD cause of her own trauma. That's it.

Like I have to monitor my tone, I have to ensure everything I do is written perfectly, just to avoid being hurled verbal abuse and being told I'm a liar or treated poorly. I have to work so hard to be the patient and calm one and still won't be taken seriously. And if we're using abuse as justification, using my own emotions against me is exactly what my abusers did. I am not lesser because I get upset. I am not lesser because I have emotional regulation problems. I am not lesser because I don't monitor my tone. A lot of these also intertwine with my autism and BPD too.

So yeah. Telling someone to go get help or they should be in therapy fucking sucks. You don't know us, you don't know our experiences. Telling narcissists and pwPDs in general to be in therapy while simultaneously making it difficult for us to get help is ableist. We can't look up npd without being bombarded with how to spot a narcissist. Using the narcissism tag shows a lot of narc abuse stuff that stigmatizes us. And when we explain and ask you, calmly or not, you will not listen and paint us as villainous. You fit your own definition of narcissism by that logic. Big scary narcissism.

Maybe if you want narcissists to get better, stop making it difficult for us to get help. And you may not want narcissists dead, but I have seen natc abuse people who do. Look who you are siding yourself with. Look at the arguments you use and really examine them. They are similar thinking to other forms of ableism and other types of bigotry. We are expected to act perfectly or we are discredited.

No disorder makes someone more likely to be abusive. An abuser having a disorder that may impact the abuse does not make it (disorder) abuse. This kind of ableism WILL come back at you and is STILL being used against all disorders even if it's only popular for certain disorders. You won't win this way.

We just want you to fucking listen without getting defensive and using your trauma as a reason to feel justified in being ableist. I'm sorry for what you went through, but it will NEVER give you the right to stigmatize a group of people and lump a disorder in with abusers.

The things I've seen narcissists called or compared to is disgusting. Seeing psychopath narcissist is disgusting. Actually just be normal about mentally ill people for fucking once. And if we're using trauma to justify stuff, WE ARE TRAUMA VICTIMS AND ABUSE VICTIMS TOO!!!!!!!

Literally just stfu and stop. I've made posts being nicer about it, but frankly it's 2:30 am and I don't give a shit. I'm mad. And me being mad does not discredit anything I have said. You can listen or you can block me and move on.

Again, this post is very centered on narcissists/npd, but this goes for any abuse that may get treated as abusive. Y'all are just as welcome here in this safe space. Any disorder that gets lumped in with abuse is welcome here cause fuck that ableism. You're not abusive for having a disorder. Your disorder doesn't make you more likely to be abusive. You don't deserve the shit you get. We love you here :)

[spac-e-b0y]

About Tomoni Yoshifumi:

I have a few questions about Yoshifumi, if you are willing to answer :) listed below:

1. What are their(I don't know their pronouns or I can't remember idk I'm sorry) orgins(race, ethnicity, place of birth?)? Where do they get their red hair and dark skin from?

2. WHAT ARE THEY HIDING???

3. Is this a similar case to Akechi being able to think about multiple things at once? Is there a reason behind their multiple thoughts happening all at once, or are they a super smart autism(not derogatory) like our boy Touma?

4. THEIR FAVORITE FOOD???????

Thank you!!

okay okay i'll answer these one at a time! 1) the orange/reddish-orange hair is just from saiki's mind control thing, everyone's got strange hair this generation. however, tomoni's darker skin comes from their father's side of the family! he lives with his grandma, who was the one to move to japan years and years ago to be with a man she loved, but she has stories of his family from generations ago. they've never met any other family, though, as there hasn't been a reason for either side to visit. 2) he's just trying to mask as neurotypical, so mainly he and his alters are trying to hide the mental illness lol

3) tomoni is the host of an osdd system!! it's not thinking multiple things at once, moreso multiple people speaking in headspace at once. they're not really out to anyone aside from their grandma, and have the same paranoia of "oh god what if i'm not masking well enough and everyone knows"

4) favorite food differs from alter to alter, but they've all agreed they love those steamed yams that become popular during the winter time!

[transpidergwen]

For those of you who are interested, there's a new sitcom on Hulu called Not Dead Yet with an autistic character (and played by autistic actor Rick Glassman)! The tiktok link is his scene from the pilot where he explains it and it's really great.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRtj3gKm/

It stars Gina Rodriguez (i know), Hannah Simone and Lauren Ash, and if you were a Jane the Virgin fan you're gonna feel like you're back in 2014 bc she's playing a writer again (she works at a newspaper obituaries with a fun gimmick, hence the title). Her roommate Edward is autistic and so far my favorite part of the show. I watched the two episodes that are out and they're promising!

He has a great arc with her in episode two that involves some neurotypical trolling that I thought were great. So far the writing doesn't feel derogatory and the jokes aren't punching down. Idk how much credit goes to the writing staff vs Rick but so far his autism (and the fact he has a girlfriend) is just as normalized as one of her friends being gay. He's not infantalized or made fun of, and in episode two he an Nell (Gina) have a solid arc about trying to figure out how to live together that features his autism but doesn't reduce him to it. They both have needs and she doesn't tiptoe around his autistic needs, she says that she has needs too (a table to eat/work at bc he has work items covering their breakfast bar) and those can coexist with his. If he needs the breakfast bar for work, then she gets a table. He doesn't need to make himself less autistic to make her comfortable but he doesn't get a pass on everything because he's autistic, he's an adult that she lives with and they will keep figuring it out as they go. He also apologizes for saying something insensitive earlier, that he didn't think about it but his girlfriend helped him realize that he hadn't considered her side. It felt very authentic and I loved it. I'll definitely be watching more and posting about it and would love to hear anyone's thoughts about it too!